#maybe but idk. i mean. at least ill have time to cool down from that 3 hour art class LOL

[thegreatestheaver]

next semsester i got a 2 hour 15 minute gap between my art and philosophy class oh my god imma be camping out on campus again😭

[todayisafridaynight]

Your brain is massive and your opinions are correct. I fucking LOVE SA2 and Shadow bro 😭 Last time I revisited my Sonic era I was trying to unlock training mode in Shadow by A-ranking all the missions and bosses. SA2/Shadow/Sonic Heroes/Sonic Riders were the ones I replayed (and still do every couple of years) the most :)

my god PLEAAASSE THE TRAINING/EXPERT MODE IN SHADOW i love how the hints just fuck off and are replaced by the cast chattin with shadow.... like black doom the fuck are you doin talkin to me you are dead.... leave me alone.....

as a part of my All-326-Routes playthrough of shadow im SO stoked to unlock that mode again for the first time in like. A Decade... i've just been clearing out all the routes from the very top all the way down but i might just A-rank all the levels and routes first just to get the mode..

the adventure games + shadow are my faves to play honestly like as much as i still do like sonic games nowadays i just really enjoyed that 3d free-roaming aspect of the gamecube era games (and even 06: just wish it wasnt such a glitchy mess and i was more of a fan of the models/art style)

PLUS WITH THE ADVENTURE GAMES YOU HAVE THE CHAOS LIKE WHY DID THEY GET RID OF THEM BRING THEM BACK !!!!! THEY WERE SO CUTE

[berylcups]

COULD YOU PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO EITHER A RIZZOTTO with new y/n La squad goals member who is happy go lucky (annoyingly so & loud) and does their best to make everyone happy but is actually very insecure because they have a history of mental abuse and is scared to let people down or have them be mean to them. So they always pretend everything is alright for others sake. 2 maybe, New la squad up member who has a chronic illness but works from the nave because they have a remote stand. And has a lot of days where they try to avoid people and go in and out of their room purposely when no one is around because they don’t want the others to think of them as week when they know they already do from over hearing conversations specifically from Prosciutto. When they accidentally walk into a room when everyone is there and ya know classic turn around their behind me aren’t they troupe and he doesn’t apologize and just states it again infront of them (for like the third time they have herd him say it). They say nothing stand there with tears because this was infront of the whole crew. And then the next day they move out of bace and just do operations from a new remote location because they where such a bother. And ya know no one leaves the mafia without.. . So they just use text or voice chat like before just they don’t talk or use voice to text. Or just type. Ovi x Prosciutto. But I want to see this man get vonerable. And maybe some praise and compliments. Basically he misses them realizes he said this stuff because he couldn’t admit his feelings yatta yatta. And basically big boys up to get them to move back and admit he was wrong. And maybe Pesci says he’s wrong infront of the crew and nocks some sence into him.

Gachhaio (whatever however you type it lol) is paired up with a new member who is skiddish. To loud noises. A suffer to verbal abuse in the past. And it gives them PTSD. Comfort

And last potential one, idk if you write for Pesci alot of people don’t. He is a sweet boy. 🥺 but maybe same new member situation. But y/n is kinda… an air head. With an hour glass figure but chubby for sure. And insecure about it. So when the others hit on her they think they are making fun especially when they are out and Illusio makes a comment about their weight when eating. After he’s tired of hearing Formaggio hit on y/n even through it’s not getting through to them. And for once Pesci stands up to someone(him lol) and says he’s just jealous he can’t get someone as beautiful or something. And than the guys all tease him after that. But y/n thanks him and starts to like him. But what he was saying about Illusio was actually a self reflection. And y/n catches him um… stealing underwear one day. Praise and pervert kink ig idk.

Anyways those are some ideas idk you don’t have to use them lol but I thought it would be cool lol. All Yandere tho please is you use one or all or none idk LMAO 😭 sorry if these where too long or detailed 😭😭😭 it’s been a long day and I’m high lol girl just knows what they want 😭😭😭

Yandere Ghiaccio x Abused! Reader

Hey there! Sorry it took me forever to answer this! I was just trying to figure where to start with what I wanted to do with this! Don’t be sorry, details can be helpful! But I try to do 1 ask at a time since my ADHD brain can only handle that much at a time 😅. ADHD brain go brrrr 🫨

For this ask, I opted to do a yandere ghiaccio x emotionally abused/abandonment issue reader if that’s okay- I figured that would work best with my current skillset since theres a broad spectrum of ptsd symptoms. At least that’s how I have had dealt with it first hand. Either way I hope this is something that you were looking for and I hope you can get some enjoyment out of it! 🥺

Tw: physical abuse, mental abuse, abandonment issues, drugging, kidnapping, hypothermia, unalive mention, SA (mentioned only)

Notes: this gets pretty sad with lots of feels but ends with comfort…. Oh and yandere tropes . Please heed the TWs before reading if you’re in a sad place, your mental health is more important!💜 Beryl

“ Who do you wanna live with y/n-baby? Me and step daddy? Or your deadbeat real dad?” Y/N’s mother chirped as she was going through her belongings to put into another cardboard box. They were moving from _____ all the way to Morioh Japan.

“Uh um…” Y/N had to think about it for a moment. Her mom is blissfully unaware that her stepfather is abusive to her, even though the bruises couldn’t be more obvious. She rubs the sore flesh on her small wrist. “I think I want… to stay with Daddy.”

———-

“Woah kiddo! You wanna stay with ME??? You know I travel a lot and you won’t be able to settle down in a real home like your moms! Besides, what about getting a stable education and group of friends?” He nearly choked to death on his Vietnamese coffee . “Shit I don’t wanna be responsible for Y/N! I kill for a living and they’re gonna get in the way of that!”

Y/N rolls up their sleeves and shows the bruises the stepfather inflicted on them. “ Daddy please… I don’t want to be hit anymore.”

For once in this selfish man’s life, it tugged on his heart strings seeing the deep purple bruises decorate their body. “I guess I have no choice. They’re going to be miserable living under their roof.”

“Alright kiddo… you can come with me.”

They visited places all over the world. Surfing from hotel to hotel.Bangkok, Dandong, Vladivostok, Prague, Abu Dhabi, Paris, and many many others… until they settled into Italy.

———-

For the past 7 years they were in a boarding school

in Italy. Their father saved up some to send them there to get some sense of normalcy. They met after every assignment he had. He was going to be there for their school graduation but… they waited and waited. He never came. No letters, no phone calls, no nothing. Did he move on to a better life without them? Or due to the line of work…did he die? Y/N was devastated. Either way meant heartbreak and Y/N didn’t have the heart to find the answer for closure. A gaping wound that could never heal.

Fast forward to now- Y/N with nowhere left to turn. They join Passione in hopes of making a decent living. They felt their lives were already ruined so what’s there to lose in joining a crime syndicate?

————

So how did it end up like this? Y/N alone in a basement. No windows , no light, no heat. The only thing covering them was their sleeveless top and a pair of shorts. Y/N tried curl up to maintain body heat but a pair of cuffs prevented them from doing so.

“Where am I? What happened?” The thoughts echoed in Y/Ns mind. Then above them they hear footsteps, then the turn of a door knob. The bright light bleeding through the door burns Y/Ns eyes as they squint as they hear someone walking down the steps. From the brief glimpse their silhouette looked very familiar…and then their heart sunk when they heard the voice.

“Well it’s about time you woke up. You really kept me waiting, you know?”

It was Ghiaccio. Their friend, their teammate, the one who they trusted their life with. He kidnapped them.

“Ghiaccio… why?” They said through chattering teeth.

“Why?! What do you mean WHY??? You wouldn’t move in with me! That’s why!” He raised his voice as he took offense to their question.

That’s where the memories began flooding back… They invited him over to discuss their next mission together. They both wanted to be prepared for this particular stand user.

————-

Y/N stood in front of the kitchenette waiting for the kettle to heat up.

Ghiaccio sat on her futon bed watching them as they swayed their hips from side to side, and humming to some unknown tune. It seemed to put him in a trance.

“How many sugars do you want Ghia?” Y/N asked.

Ghiaccio snapped out of it. “ Oh! Uh… 1 is fine.”

“Okay~! 1 sugar for you, and 3 sugars for me!” They poured the tea into 2 equal sized mugs and sat it down on a fold out table in front of him. “ here you go, just the way you like it Ghia ~”

“ thanks… uh. Y/N… doesn’t this place make you feel a bit claustrophobic?” Ghiaccio probed.

“ well it’s not the nicest place but it’s all I can really afford y’know? Especially since the boss is being extra cheap and cutting our pay, I really don’t have a choice.” Y/N said as they blew on their tea to cool it down.

A commotion could be heard from the floor above. It sounds like an argument between a hooker and a pimp.

“ what the hell is that?” Ghiaccio barked .

“ oh calm down. It’s just the neighbors from up stairs. It’s not a big deal.” Y/N said unbothered by the additional noise .

“Y/N look- don’t take this the wrong way but… this place is a fucking dump! This is no place for an AFAB like you!” Ghiaccio confessed bluntly.

“Ugh, again with the way I live. Do we have to always criticize me and my life?! First my accent is too thick, I have poor grammar, now I dress like a slut, or I don’t assimilate to Italian culture, NOW I live in squalor to you?! Is nothing ever good enough for you Ghiaccio?!” Y/N snapped.

“ What?! I said nothing about any of those things! Yes they need improvement but that’s not what I’m talking about right now! I just want you to be somewhere safe! I demand you come move in with me!” He yelled back.

“Move in with YOU??? No way! Not with the way you criticize me! After the way you’ve been treating me lately I wanna be as far from you as possible! Look…I’m gonna take a minute to cool down and freshen up in the bathroom to collect my thoughts kay?”

“Ugh fine. Whatever.” He responded coolly not wanting to escalate the situation further.

“This is unacceptable. They can’t live like this!” Ghiaccio thought angrily. He looked around the small apartment and saw outdated amenities, hand me down furniture and a sad excuse for a bed that he was sitting on that doubled as a couch. The futon was so flattened he could feel the support beams dig straight into his ass! Not to mention the tea tastes like shit! The poor thing can’t get even a nice box of loose leaf tea! What the fuck!

Her tea is unattended and he remembers the sedative he got from Melone. “ Here’s this in case you decide you want to get closer with Y/N.” Melone winked.

He was pissed at the time that he would even dare think that he should drug them! But now…maybe it’s his chance to get what he’s always wanted, and to give them a REAL home . He took the tablet out from his wallet, out of the wrapper and dropped it right into their drink.

“ Are we done arguing about my living situation now? ” Y/N huffed as they came back out folding their arms defensively.

“Look Y/N. You know I’m only looking out for you. I’ll drop it, I know sometimes I can be too harsh.”

Y/N took a sip of their tea and smiled. “Thanks Ghia. I know you mean well. Let’s just pretend this argument never happened and let’s have a good day.”

The whole night seem to become a blur. The last thing they remember is Ghiaccio saying something that he wanted to get off his chest. And then, nothing…

———-

“Gh-Ghiaccio… I have a h-home. I invited you over…rree-remember?” Y/N stuttered from fear and the sudden temperature drop.

“ You call that dingy little studio apartment a home?! No way! I told you that you shouldn’t live there! And it’s in the shitty side of town! What if you get robbed?! Or raped?! Or even worse, killed?!” He questioned ignoring the complete irony that he literally drugged and kidnapped them.

The cold was getting too much to bear. The goosebumps littered the entirety of Y/N skin, and the pain radiated in their hands and feet. They were starting to lose dexterity. Hypothermia was beginning to set in.

“Please Ghiaccio…. Please Stop using white album . I’ll do whatever you say- I’m - I’m ju-just so c-c-cold… I can’t feel my fingers or my toes…”

“I can’t let you leave. You clearly don’t know what’s good for you. You’re so goddamn dense Y/N! Don’t you know that I’ve been looking out for you all this time? I can’t live without you!” He stomped his foot out of frustration.

“I know… and I’m sorry… but Ghiaccio you know I have trouble trusting people right ? You’ll just get tired of me and toss me aside.” They wept.

“ you have the audacity to think I will get TIRED OF YOU ?! For fucks sake Y/N! I’m goddamn obsessed with you!” He couldn’t believe that they were doubting his love. If this wasn’t the very being of his affection he’d strangle them right now.

“Who’s the one who drives you everywhere? Who’s the one who’s always with you on missions? Who’s the one who always makes sure you get home safe? Who’s the one who stands up for you when the guys are being assholes??? All me! You think that’s all just a coincidence? That I’m doing it as just as a friend? Fuck no! I do it because I love you dammit!” He yelled.

His rage just made the room get even colder. Y/N definitely couldn’t feel their hands, they tried to make a fist out of frustration but their hand barely moved. They started to hyperventilate a fog. The tears were slowly starting to solidify on their cheeks.

“Ghiaccio you don’t get it! You dumbass!” They cried from frustration. “My mother never wanted me…My father never wanted me…the people who I thought were my friends didn’t want me, so who the hell wants me??? I don’t even want me! How can I believe you would want me?! It just feels like a sick joke!” They sobbed.

For once in his life, he was at a loss for words. He felt like someone hit him hard in the gut. He knew about their background but didn’t know they felt so low that they didn’t believe that they were going to ever be loved.

“Y/N…Don’t say shit like that.” His voice toned down to almost a whisper. He got down on their level and his features softened as he wiped away the tears.

“ Don’t you know what it feels like to not be loved? I’ve been abandoned and left to fend for myself. I thought about ending my life so many times. But I always push it off another day…in hopes that you’ll change my mind. You always do when we talk. Hehe… when you complain about English and other things it makes me forget about how lonely I am.” Y/N confessed.

“I’m glad you chose to stay. And I want you to stay here. With me. I will go crazy without you.” He hugged them hard, nuzzling his head into their neck.

He felt like he was made of fire, he was so warm. They nuzzled back, returning the affection.

“Can you stop your stand and uncuff me now? I promise I’ll stay.” Y/N pleaded.

He thought about it for a minute as the cold dissipated. “Hmm… okay. As long as you stay here. This is your home now. Anything you need I’ll get it for you. I’m gonna be your provider.” He gave his conditions as he uncuffed them.

“Okay Ghia. It’s set in stone. This is my home now.” They hugged him and kissed him on the cheek.

Feeling their cool lips brush up against his cheek caused all the blood flow to go straight to his face.

“Let’s go upstairs and get you warmed up.” He grabbed their hand gently and guided them upstairs to the bedroom where all the comfy blankets were to warm themselves.

“Your room looks so cozy…and messy. Hehe.” Y/N giggled looking at the unmade bed and articles of clothing tossed around the room.

“Uh yeah… I like to keep my house neat but I never bother with my bedroom because I’m the only one who is ever in here. But now that you’re here I should start cleaning up.” He muttered as he scratched the back of his head from embarrassment.

“It’s not a big deal. I can clean up after the both of us. It’s just laundry.” Y/N smiled as they sat down on the bed. “Uh… will you hold me to help me warm back up? My hands and feet stopped hurting but I still have goosebumps…”

“Yeah.” He laid down behind them and nervously wrapped his arms around them. “This help?”

“Yeah. A lot, you’re really warm.” Y/N scooted in closer and closed the gap between them.

“…” they couldn’t look from behind but his face was as red as his glasses. He nuzzled his face into their hair and neck. “I hope you will feel at home here soon. I know it’s not the way that I should have brought you here but I just couldn’t stand seeing you struggle so bad. You’re good at lying and pretending everything is okay and I know when you’re not. You lose the light in your eyes.” He hugged hard like he was afraid of losing them.

“I know… but you know me. Probably more than I know myself. I’m headstrong and never like saying I need help.”

“This is the first time in forever I feel like I’m home. My father used to tell me that the world is our home and there’s so much to look forward to. That used to comfort me…but only for a little. The boarding school was nice but I was the only ____ so it felt kinda lonely. But being in here with you makes me feel a way I never felt before. I feel so safe and fuzzy…especially in your arms. And I know… I can’t take it for granted. Our work makes our future uncertain. So that’s why I’m going to cherish each moment I have with you. All we can do is live each day to the fullest.”

“Good. I’m glad. Because I don’t want to ever lose you. If any bastard even tries to come near you I’m gonna freeze them to death.” He said while yawning.

“Aw you’re making me sleepy… and don’t worry, I only have eyes for you Ghia.” Y/N yawned back.

“Go to sleep Y/N. It’s almost midnight anyway. I’m tired too. If any of the guys tries to bother us now that we’re together… I’m not going hesitate to deck them in the face. Well, good night Y/N.” He pulled the duvet over each other.

“Nighty night Ghia.”

[icarussol74]

Spoilers for Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint’s epilogues below.

Ok so I finally (after getting distracted way too many times) finished my first read through of ORV a few days ago and as expected I can’t stop thinking about it. Of course the loops and KDJ’s fate are constantly on my mind, but there’s one thing that won’t stop bugging me. We don’t know the fate of Kim Namwoon in the 1865th turn. I know he’s not the biggest character (and three versions of him technically got happy endings) however, we even know the fates of Gong Pildu and Han Myeongoh. So while I absolutely love the epilogues it bugged me that there wasn’t even a single sentence about KNW. And since KNW was a major foil/parallel for KDJ I think it would’ve been really cool if 1865 KNW was helping try to save KDJ. Like for a media analysis standpoint it’d be the darkest reflection of KDJ trying to save what got left behind/the part of himself he hated/what made KDJ just like KNW.

Considering that the goal of the 1865th turn, aside from trying to save KDJ, was to save as many people as possible I really wanted to know what happened to KNW. I feel like it would’ve been extremely unlikely for them to decide he has to die while planning the group regression because both HSY and YSA knew KDJ regretted killing him. On top of this, YJH always tried to save KNW even when KNW betrayed him in various world-lines. I attribute this to KDJ telling 0 turn YJH that no one is born evil and encouraging him to lead KNW down a good path. Plus, even without all of those factors, if YSA started in the subway car again she’s the kind of person who would try to save as many people with the frog spawn plan. By the way, the hiding frog spawn all over Seoul to break the first scenario was hilarious.

So with all that being said, I feel like it’s extremely unlikely for KNW to die (at least in the first scenario). And I cannot be convinced that that silly little emo edgelord was not one of the teens that got really into the apocalypse craze and started catching a ton of frogs. By that logic YSA would’ve been able to save the Granny without killing KNW. Honestly he’d probably hero worship YSA just like he did for YJH. Another thing is that HSY literally refuses to have ABFD as her sponsor which I know is because her plan was to become a constellation, but that gives ABFD plenty of room to sponsor and get attached to 1865 KNW.

So basically, I feel like 1865 KNW would’ve survived all the way through the final scenario and would have gotten hella attached to Kim Dokja’s Company. Like sure he would’ve been a little asshole at the beginning of the scenarios but there’s no way YJH, HSY, and YSA wouldn’t have been able to guide him while completing scenarios at a breakneck speed. Then that brings me to if he survived, why would KNW stayed in the 1865th worldline? He would’ve gotten hella attached to all the characters from the 1864th turn and if he learned about regressors and how KDJ killed the 1864th him he would’ve probably wanted to meet the man who killed a version of him. Plus, through the various versions of KNW we’re shown throughout the novel, it’s heavily implied that he was depressed, suicidal, and had a terrible family life before the scenarios. So I’m not sure if there’s much of an argument for the idea that he just wouldn’t have boarded the ark and stayed behind in the 1865th turn.

I don’t know, maybe I’m misreading some of his characterization and reading too much into him not being mentioned in the epilogues. Unfortunately, that little fucking edgelord will not leave my head (probably because I can relate to him having dealt with mental illness). Idk, I just feel like a foil as important as him could’ve been mentioned in the epilogue whether it’s a short line mentioning they decided to kill him so he can drive the Gundam again or that he was ABFD’s incarnation again in the 1865th turn.

I mean maybe my sister’s headcanon is right and he really annoyed HSY so she decided to not acknowledge him in the epilogue (since like we’re technically arguably reading HSY’s writing). I think it’d be really funny if he’s just following Kim Dokja Company members around like a lost puppy and crushing on LJH like all other worldlines. I also think his relationship to LGY and SYS could be really funny because he’d treat them like little siblings and they’d hate it because they’re more powerful than him and claim to be around his age because of regression time shenanigans. What are other people’s headcanons for 1865’s KNW? Am I wrong that he’d survive or would he follow Kim Dokja Company because of how badass they all are (especially YJH and JHW)?

[angy-mouse]

Puck Bunny Part 3

5.7k, no smut but definite M-rated banter and important plot (unless you're just here for the foursomes in which case you can skip this chapter ig but its pretty integral for the finale)

<previous next>

do you wanna go on a date?

Read 5 Minutes Ago

You stared at the message, sent directly instead of through the group chat. As if that wasn't weird enough, you'd just gone on a date (with heavy air quotes) with the three of them and you had yet to get your panties back, thank you very much. You started drifting down memory lane and forced yourself to snap out of it. This was not lecture appropriate thinking.

You get another text.

with me, idk if that was obvious lol. sap + sam are stuck running drills all afternoon bc they suck

Okay, so not a group thing. That was good, at least. You might be able to walk after all. Except…

Honestly, you don't feel like sex. Not even mind-blowing, four-orgasms-in-a-row, written-by-a-woman sex. You were tired, and still sore, and really craving something fruity but also sweet? Maybe a chocolate orange. Point being you did not feel sexy and imagining a naked man only stirred thoughts of needing to buy lotion.

i was thinking shopping and dinner - my treat ofc - but whatever you want is cool too x

Fuck, you do need a sweater. Damn changing seasons making your sundress collection obsolete. 

You flipped your phone over and closed your eyes, taking a deep breath and rolling your shoulders back. Fuck the rest of the lecture hall, you were aceing this class anyway and you needed to check in.

Do you want to see Punz today?

You didn't even have to think about it. Of course you did, you wanted to see all three of them and maybe shove your face in their perfectly perky pecs, but so far seeing them entailed sex, which you were not up for. You didn't think for a second that Punz wouldn't accept a no, but you were 50/50 on whether you would cave at the first touch just to experience that intimacy.

Call yourself a slut, but it was kinda hard to deny a man who acted like you were a literal goddess. 

Next question: do you want to go on a date today?

As long as it was a date-date and not their last idea of a date, that would actually be nice. You were past the awkward small talk stage with Punz, so no fumbling or awkward silences should happen. Plus you already knew he would compliment you to the high heavens, which certainly couldn't hurt your mood.

So what were you waiting for?

You thought, but you couldn't find an answer. A handsome, fit guy who treated you amazing and was great in bed wanted to take you shopping and treat you to dinner. You'd have to be a fucking idiot not to.

You flipped your phone back over and found another text.

no pressure ofc, but id be a fucking idiot not to try spending time with you without the peanut gallery

You snorted, thumbs gliding over the screen to save him from his nerves. Even if he was cute when he rambled.

tbh shopping and dinner sounds exactly what I need rn

A beat where you thought too much and got lost for just a moment. You bit the bullet, putting a heart on the end and hitting send. Then, as an afterthought:

should I change?

what are you wearing?

For a moment you considered telling him you forgot about a lecture you can't miss, and you actually can't go and you're so sorry but maybe next time-

omg wait not like THAT

i just mean last two times i saw you you were wearing a cute asf dress and then that nice shirt with big sleeves and the black skirt so as far as im concerned anything you wear is perfect

He's talking about your lantern sleeve blouse. Something about the way he fumbles, not knowing anything about what things are called and only knowing that he liked them enough to remember makes you just melt.

oh lol well thank you. Did you wanna meet somewhere or…

The response is instant.

ill come pick you up! whens your last class get out?

You tell him and get a thumbs up and heart emoji pairing, then a gif of snoopy doing his happy dance that makes you laugh under your breath.

"Stop sexting in class,"

You flinch and clutch your phone to your chest before recognition kicks in and you glare at Niki. "I'm not sexting," you hiss. "Punz is picking me up for a date." She rolls her eyes. "An actual date." You didn't know why you needed her to be happy for you so badly. Maybe with both your long term best friend and slightly less long term boyfriend both kicked out of your life, you were just craving companionship. It would certainly explain your current disaster of a dating life. 

"Okay," she says but it doesn't sound like she means it. "Just so you know, I only have one romcom binge weekend in me a year, so if this harem breaks your heart, too, you're on your own." 

"I appreciated that, you know." She blinks like she wasn't expecting anything less than snark, but you meant it. You came into your dorm with eyes so full of tears you didn't even realize she was there until she was coaxing you into your PJs and shoving a carton of Ben & Jerry's into your lap. Suddenly your mysterious roommate you only saw once in a blue moon when your schedules rarely overlapped was the shoulder you were crying on, voice ringing through your ears promising you were still the baddest bitch and he was the loser here.

"It's no big deal," she finally decided. "You need to learn people don't deserve praise for not treating you like crap." 

You didn't have a comeback for that, so you finished class in silence.

"Do I get to meet this one, too?"

You can't fight your smile. "You want to?"

"Gotta make sure you're not dropping your standards. Again." 

"I changed my mind: fuck off." She curled her hands into a heart with a grin before you turned away, hearing her chase after you. 'Chase' very loosely translated to 'took four quick steps to easily catch up because she's a lot fitter than you.' Damn skinny people.

"If he just pulls up and honks, you are not getting in the car. Date ends there."

"Any particular reason?"

"A man who can't wait to get out of the car to greet you can't wait long enough for you to come."

You grinned over your shoulder as you walked into the afternoon sun. "Oh, believe me: not a concern."

"Ew,"

"You started it."

"And I'm finishing it." 

Tires screeching on pavement caught your attention, just in time to watch two students nearly get run over by a cherry red Challenger. You bit your cheek. "You don't think…" 

The car came to a stop right in front of the stairs (only because it was physically incapable of climbing them, you were sure) showing off the VAL-U sticker on the back window.

"I do think," Niki said solemnly. A single honk came from the car. "Oh, fuck no-"

"Niki, please," you begged as you watched Punz climb out of the driver's seat in a crisp collared shirt, buttoned only enough to be appropriate in public. You practically melted as he gave you that sparkling grin, running a hand through his blond locks as he climbed the stairs two at a time to join you. 

"I had one rule for you-"

"Sorry," Punz breathed out, pressing a tender kiss to your cheek, close enough you could feel the faint heat rushing through his face. "I slammed my elbow on the horn trying to unplug my phone."

You'd be embarrassed by the loud snort that left you if you weren't so grateful it drowned out Niki's, "you're lucky, valley."

"You look beautiful." It was hard to believe when you'd just sounded like a literal pig. At least, it would be if he wasn't looking at you like you hung the stars, hands sliding back on either side of your waist until he was holding you gently against him. His lips ghosted over yours. "I missed you, bunny."

You missed him, too. “You saw me two days ago,” you say instead, but you let your hands link against the nape of his neck as he gives you a soft kiss. Something more than a peck, but nothing you were embarrassed to do in front of Niki. Something just right.

“And it was painful,” he announced, squeezing you tighter against him like he knew it would make you giggle into his neck. “Forty-eight hours with Big and Rich for company.”

“Are you ever going to run out of demeaning nicknames for them?”

“Haven’t yet. Hi-” It takes you a second to realize he’s talking to Niki over your head. “Friend?”

That one was directed at you, so you hum an affirmative and gently peel yourself away to run through introductions. Punz only lets you get out of one arm, the other moving to hang over your shoulders with a squeeze that clearly said ‘that one stays.’ “This is my roommate, Niki. Niki-”

“Punz,” she mused, offering her hand. “I know all about you.”

“Is this a shovel talk?”

“No. I don’t talk before shoveling.”

“Niki,” you beg, but Punz gives her a firm shake.

“Big fan of that,” he declared with a grin. “I’ve got a buddy with a truck, we should get you two in contact.”

She nodded solemnly. “Alright,” she directed at you, “you can go on the date.”

“Niki!”

She took your keys off your bag. “I’ll take your car back to the dorm. Don’t get pregnant.”

“NIKI!”

“Bye, Niki,” Punz cheered with a cackle, arm around your shoulders keeping you from chasing after her to commit some mild manslaughter. “Nice to meet you!”

“Don’t say, ‘nice to meet you,’ when she’s humiliating me.” You got a kiss pressed to the side of your head instead of an apology as he started down the steps, dragging you along with. The gentle pressure of his arm on your neck solidified your feeling like a yappy chihuahua being tugged along by the leash. It all felt a stark difference to the usual sultry air that followed you around these three. This actually felt like a… date. Not a sex on the nearest surface date, but a proper meet the parents soon date. 

You tried not to think about how scary that was.

Instead, you thanked Punz as he held open your door, your hand in his as he helped you climb in. You held in a giggle as he shut the door behind you and raced around the hood like he was worried you’d leave without him. “What are we shopping for,” he asked as he threw himself into his seat, but you were distracted.

“Why do you have a suicide knob?”

He grinned, wide and toothy, tongue poking out as he used the knob to wiggle the steering wheel. “Because it’s fun.”

You buckled your seatbelt. 

“Oh, come on,” he huffed, pulling out of the parking lot. “I’ve never gotten into so much as a fender bender with this car.”

“This car?”

“Don’t say it like that! I haven’t gotten into an accident since I was a teenager, is that better?” 

“Yeah, and what are you now, twenty?”

“Twenty-five,”

“Oh my god, you’re old.”

You regretted it as soon as you said it. You were so not at the stage where you could make fun of each other and especially not something as potentially sensitive as his age and why he's still at University-

"Well, you're a brat, so I thought we made a good pair." There's a beat where your mind races, but Punz reaches over to take your hand off your lap and cuts it short. "That was a joke. I know you're not a brat." 

"Only a little bit," you admit, and squeeze him back, a little promise that you didn't take it harshly. "If you were serious about taking me shopping, I could use some warm clothes for fall.”

The car pulled to a smooth stop at the light, and he fixed you with a look like you’ve accused him of secretly kicking puppies. “Dead serious. I love shopping.”

“You’re clearly very passionate about this.” 

He took his stare off you to pull through the light, bringing your joined hands up to his lips. “Well, I have an addictive personality, a great credit score, and excellent fashion sense.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Hey, what’s with the doubt?!”

“Don’t get me wrong,” you promise, using your joined hands to gesture to his open shirt, “today’s pirate-with-no-inhibitions look is super sexy, and I’m a big fan of the pleather pants, but every other time I’ve seen you, you wore a hoodie and basketball shorts.”

“That’s not fair: you always see me after practice! I can't squeeze into these pants while I’m still sweaty.”

“Well, I’m very appreciative of your sacrifice.” You wait until he’s looking at you to pointedly eye up his thick thighs, practically seran-wrapped in black fabric. “Very appreciative.”

“Bunny’s secretly a pervert,” he accused, “God, I’m not a slab of meat.”

“Really?”

He finally broke, laughing so hard he hit the rumble strips and had to swerve back into the lane. “You’re such a little shit! You’re lucky it makes you lovable instead of annoying.”

“You three practically snap me in half every time I see you: I’m allowed some eye candy!”

“I’ll be your eye candy,” he promised, and flicked open another button on his shirt. “Boom.”

“Whoa, now,”

“Too hot?”

“I nearly creamed.”

“I hate you,” he wheezed, shoving the gearshift into park. “Get the fuck out of my car.”

“Rudeness!”

His hand snatched yours when you reached for the door. “Wait, I wasn’t serious!”

“I’m getting out!”

“No, wait for me!”

“I’m getting out, and I’m telling Sam you let me open my own door!”

“No, he’ll kill me!”

“Good!” Despite the snap, you can’t pry the smile off your face and you find yourself staying perfectly still in your seat as Punz races around the hood again. “Oh, Merci,” you chirped, taking his offered hand as you stepped out.

“De nada, my little bunny." 

His arm laid across your shoulders again like you were boyfriend-girlfriend on an average date. He even reached out to open the door for you as you walked into the mall. But you weren't boyfriend-girlfriend, you were a puck bunny brat. "Every time I think you're kinda sweet, you call me that." 

"It's a talent of mine: making an ass of myself. Where do you wanna look first?" 

“I usually go to Salvation Army.”

Punz started walking towards the Aeropostale, dragging you along with. “I’m offended you think I’d offer to take you shopping and take you to Salvation Army.” 

You started struggling, grabbing a fistful of his shirt to try and curb him. Your heels tried to find purchase on the tile, but he slid you across the floor like dragging a sled. “I’m a college student! And so are you, for that! I’m not letting you spend your food cash for the week on clothes for me- Jesus Christ, how are you this strong?!”

He stopped, but it had nothing to do with your attempts. He spun you in his arms as if you were nothing more than a doll to him, something he could carry with him and arrange however he wanted. The thought made you feel equal parts small and bratty, but his hands on your hips made you bite your tongue as he held you close. His eyes were stern, a slight tremble in his features betraying his nerves.

“Alright, I’m gonna tell you something, and I don’t want you to freak out.”

Oh, you were totally going to freak out.

“I didn’t want to say this so soon because it totally changes how people think of me, but you’re clearly going to fight me on this, so here it is.” He took a deep breath, eyes screwed shut in a wince. “I’m a trust fund kid. My parents are loaded.”

It didn’t click at first. Not until you blinked. “... oh my god?”

He nodded solemnly. “I know.”

It was a shock, the same way any new information about someone you knew was a shock: mild brain buffer as your mental file was updated. Other than that, though… You couldn’t seem to care. Other than, of course, another chance to mouth off. “Oh my god,” you performed, shaking his shoulders. “Eat the rich, Punz!”

“I’m not into butt stuff,”

“I hate you,” you lied, trying to push away. “I hate you and your gated mansion community-”

“I live in the frat house, it’s practically a homeless shelter.”

“You and your diamond studded underwear-”

“Where are you getting your information on rich people: Richie Rich?”

“You’re an old rich guy, too!” You gasped, clapping your hands on either of his cheeks. He gave a minor wince from the impact, but it was swept away just as quickly by rapt attention as you pressed your forehead to his. “Am I a sugar baby?” 

“Well, you haven’t actually let me buy you anything yet-”

“Wrong answer.”

He shook his head between your hands, essentially making you slap him repeatedly. “No, bunny, you’re not a sugar baby, not in the slightest. Now, can I buy you more clothes than you can ever wear?”

Your gaze narrowed, but it probably wasn’t as intimidating as you hoped when you had to cross your eyes to look at him. “You swear your wallet won’t feel it?”

“May lightning strike me down.”

It took a moment, but with not even a rumble of thunder, you supposed you had to believe him. “Alright,” you conceded, “but we’re going somewhere that actually carries my size.”

<3E>

“I’ve never been in a Torrid,” Punz admits to you as you walk in.

“Really? You don’t lurk in the lingerie section hunting for big women?”

“There’s a lingerie section?” He’s too excited at the prospect to entertain your sass, but evidently not too excited to take the pants you were looking at right out of your hands. “You’ll have to try everything on for me. Even though I’m adamantly opposed to anything that covers your legs.” 

You tried to take them back and he casually moved out of reach, adding a blazer to his haul. “Just because I’m built like an elephant seal doesn’t mean I’m actually insulated-”

“Hey-” You jump at the sudden appearance of a sales associate, a beautiful woman with an undercut and dangly earrings, and flush at the reminder that you were in public. She points an empty hanger at you sternly. “We don’t do self deprecation in here.” The hanger tip shifted over to Punz. “Are you not telling her how beautiful she is enough?”

You can feel your face turning purple as Punz claims, "I can't: I need to eat and sleep sometimes," and starts plucking one of everything off the racks without bothering to check sizes. 

"Wha- Punz! Stop that! I don't need-"

"What you need is to let me love you!"

Undercut woman has a giant grin as she turns to walk away. "I'll get a dressing room open for you. Name for the door?"

"I don't need-"

If Punz wasn't trying to smother you in twisted affection, you might've started to get pissed off at the way he interrupted you again. "Bunny!"

"You're gonna get a foot up your ass in a minute here!" 

"She don't bite," he insists, wrapping a thick arm around your neck to yank you against him. He starts pressing fat kisses to your hair, the kind where he just puckers his lips ridiculously and smacks them against you. The first few are gross. The next annoying. Then he starts cooing about she's just a sweet little thing and your attitude crumbles like a wall, entire body melting against him like a stray that's finally caving into affection. 

You can feel his lips curl into a wide grin against your head, but you can't make yourself rebuild that wall when he's nosing your hair away from your ear so he can whisper, "are we done being a brat, baby?" 

“...yeah,”

His finger crooked under your chin, gently lifting your lips to his for a soft kiss. “Yeah? My sweet girl’s gonna let me dress her up?” 

My girl.

You stole another kiss, dropping one on Punz’s jaw as you pulled away for good measure. “At least grab the right size, you big lug.” 

You may as well have promised him a puppy. His grin stretched wide across his face, bottom lip pulled between his teeth before he ducked his head, hiding from you. He nuzzled into your neck, puckering his lips so they just barely grazed your jugular, feeling your pulse race. “Yay,” he murmured, arm around your shoulders sliding down your back until he could grip your soft waist. “Because as hot as you look in this dress, I don’t approve of how the leggings hide away our tummy.”

“You mean my tummy?”

“I’m filing for joint custody. You don’t appreciate her enough.”

“I appreciate her just fine. It- fuck me, now I’m doing it! Give me something to put on!” 

He cackled, tugging your collar aside to check the tag and leaving you to rifle through the racks. “I’m gonna build you some outfits,” he promised, flicking through some camisoles to add to his armful. “And I wanna see every single one.” 

“I thought you wanted to make it to dinner at some point.” 

He found one in your size and handed you the completed stack. “Then you’d better run that cute ass into a stall for me. Ooh, swimsuit sale!” 

You huffed and rolled your eyes all the way to the back of the store and all the way into the dressing room until the door was shut behind you. You only allowed yourself the time it took to strip and redress to think about how warm you felt inside. How nice it felt to have someone who wanted to drape you in silks and pouted when you made him settle for overpriced plus-size fashion. Someone who was ready to watch you try on one of everything, knowing full well how long it’d take.

You settled the blazer over your shoulders and turned to the mirror, lips pressing together.

By no means were you ashamed of your body… but you leaned more towards ‘screw the world I don’t owe it to you to fit your beauty standards’ and less towards ‘I’m fat and fuckable.’ 

The flared pants sat just too low to tuck away your muffin top. No matter how you tugged on the camisole, it couldn’t cover that inch of skin- unless you wanted to walk around with your bra out.

“Shoppin’ for my baby!” Your gaze snapped to the door, hearing the rhythmic shuffle of feet. “Shoppin’ for my bunny!” You slapped a hand over your mouth to keep from laughing- if he heard you, he might stop singing. “Shop ‘til you drop! Bop-bop-bop! Gonna get a crop- top! Yeah, I could’a been a rapper. Fuckin’ missed my calling.”

��You so did,” you called out, threading the buttons on your blazer as you bumped the door open. “What would your rapper name be?”

“Lil’ Pucky,” he called back without hesitation as he turned. Blood rushed through your ears as his jaw dropped open, eyes cruising up and down your form so intensely you worried you’d forgotten to put clothes on at all. “Hello, bunny.”

“Hi,” you giggled. You gave a twirl and laughed when a swoon of “oh, ass,” passed his lips. “You like?”

“I love.” He groped for your waist, pulling you into his chest until you could feel his heartbeat through your right tit. “I changed my mind: you can wear pants, but only these.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yup.”

“These are better than the leggings?”

“Leggings are too tight. Anything that delays me from getting in your guts for more than six seconds is going in the bonfire.” 

Your hand came down on his shoulder and he pretended it hurt, stumbling into one of the plush chairs. “That’s why you wanted to take me shopping! You figure if you buy me enough, you can get rid of everything you don’t like!”

He couldn’t even pretend to feel guilty, a grin wider than a fucking canyon stretching across his face. “It’s gonna be short dresses and tight pants if I have my way.”

“And what makes you think you’ll get your way?”

He held out his hand, a silky two-piece bathing suit with a halter strap top and a skirt layered with frills dangling from his fingers. “Because I found this in your size-” his other hand revealed a mesh shopping bag half full, “and enough panties for Sam to steal as many as he wants.” 

You accepted the swimsuit to try on, but gave an apologetic smile. “I’m very picky about my underwear: I don’t want you to be upset if I don’t wear what you pick out for me, okay?”

“Don’t worry, I’m working off a reference.”

There’s two beats where you process his words before you’re beating him with the swimsuit. “You’re the one who ended up with my panties?!” 

Punz didn’t even move to block your hits, hand coming up to lay over his heart. “I pledge my allegiance every morning, first thing.” 

“Where did you hang them?!”

<3E>

“I can carry something, you know.”

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that.” Punz piled the bags all onto one arm as if he took your offer as a personal offense to his strength and very manhood, looping the other around your waist. “Taking a fine lady out and making her carry her own bags- who do you think I am?”

You’re getting used to his dramatics: you barely acknowledge him as a stall catches your eye. “Ooh, boba!”

His arm doesn’t budge around you, but it doesn’t keep you in place like you’ve experienced before. Your path shifts towards the drink shop and his elbow pulls straight for barely a second before he shifts right with you, letting you lead him wherever you desired. “That milky stuff with the gross balls?”

“Yes, but no.” There’s laminated menus on the tables so you pick one up and scan the flavors. “You’re thinking milk tea with tapioca pearls. I get fruity tea with popping pearls.”

“You’re really cute, but I don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I’m gonna blow your mind right now.” You slipped your card out of your purse as you walked up to the counter to make sure Punz knew you were buying this time. “Hi, can I get a large strawberry fruit tea with green apple pearls?” 

He barely gets out the total and asks for a name for the order before Punz slaps his card on the machine from the side. "'Punz': exactly how it sounds, but with a 'Z'."

"I was gonna pay for it, asshole!" The only response you get from him is his signature on the pad- which is nothing more than a colon and a 'P'. You stuck your tongue out right back, skipping out of reach to snatch up a straw from the pick-up counter. "You're gonna let your guard down sooner or later." 

"You make it sound like you're gonna kill me." You drag the straw across your throat. "Wow," he snorted, pecking the tip of your nose, "total savage." 

“I know. I’m totawy scawy.”

“Fwightening.” 

“You’re a dork,” you informed him with a huff of laughter, stabbing your drink as soon as it arrived. “Poison check,” you claimed, taking the first sip. You skewered a pearl for him before handing it over. “Alright, taste that thang.” 

You waited eagerly as the straw passed his soft lips, on the edge of your nonexistent seat as he took his first sip.

He shrugged. “Yeah, it’s alright.”

You rescued your drink before smacking his arm. “No taste!” 

“It’s about as good as fruit can get, but it still tastes like fruit. Give me a burger any day.” 

“I’ve never met such a dumb man,” you huffed, sipping for yourself.… Okay, so it had too much ice, but it was still delicious!

“Liar,” Punz accused as you started your walk again. “You’ve met Sapnap.”

You bumped into him with purpose. “Yeah, but it’s cute on him.”

“Ouch, you’re really wounding my pride there, bunny,” he drawled, making sure his sarcasm seeped through every word. “As if I could be jealous of Sappy.” 

You could feel your lips curling into an evil grin around your fat straw before the thought of what to say even formed. “I don’t know: he’s cute, and strong, and a gentleman, and he’s great with his tongue-”

“Alright, you’re pushing it!” A cry left your lips as he snatched your cheek, pinching only hard enough to pull it around a bit. “Talking about another freaking guy this much, even if he is my teammate-” 

“Leggo uh meee!”

He gave another yank before releasing you with a huff. “Such a little brat…”

His tone changed. It was slight, but there was a definite change- enough to make you stop and backtrack. Did you push too far? Was he actually insecure and being compared to Sapnap was a jab in the gut? Or maybe he was just getting sick of your attitude when he was treating you like a princess. 

“I’m sorry.” Punz let out a small noise from the back of his throat that you took as prompting to continue. “I don’t know why I even said that, but I’ll try not to be such a- such a brat.”

“It’s okay,”

“It’s not-”

“Why are you upset?” He turned to look at you properly, pulling you to a stop once he saw your expression. 

You huffed, frustrated that you had to say it out loud, but more frustrated at yourself. “Because you’re wonderful to me-” His hand came up to your cheek, warm and soft, and suddenly your eyes were clouding up. “And you don’t deserve all the snapping I do-” There’s a lump growing in your throat. “And I don’t even know why I say that kind of shit because I’m having a great time with you-”

“Oh, honey bunny.” You caught a glimpse of his handsome face twisted into concern before he was pulling you into a nook for some semblance of privacy, setting your bags on the floor before hauling you tight against his chest. “Oh, you’ve really worked yourself up over this, huh?” You know it’s not really a question, but you find you’re nodding into his shoulder anyway. You don’t even feel like you’re crying: there are tears streaming out of your eyes, but that’s it. Almost like someone’s left the faucet on and forgot about it. 

Punz’s lips press firmly against your head, hands rubbing circles against the tense muscles in your back, like he was trying to find the button that would make it all better. “Can I tell you something, bunny?” His lips briefly twitch into a tiny smile when you nod mindlessly against his shirt. “I know you’re having a good time. And I am, too. And I know you just like chatting shit. Makes you feel strong, huh? Like you’re big and in charge?” You didn’t even realize it before he put it into words, but he was exactly right, earning another nod. “And you wanna know something else?

“I like chatting shit, too.” You pull back as you realize the tears have stopped, and he only lets you go a few inches before he’s holding you still with warm hands on your waist. “The boys told me all about your drive before our movie night. You know how Sammy threw his little tantrum over your seatbelt?” His choice of words pulls a throaty laugh from you that makes him grin. “We all want different things when we’re with you, bunny. Sam wants to make sure you’re taken care of, so when you brat, he’s gonna nod and take it until you run out of steam and ask him nicely, then he’ll give you anything you want.

“But I kinda like to fight, bunny. Nothing mean, but when you poke me, I wanna poke back. I think it’s fun just like you do, and I think we could have a good time pushing each other to the limit to see who gives.” His lips twitched. “Now, Sappy: I think that boy just wants to die under a big woman, so you gotta watch out for him, make sure he’s still breathing when you sit on him-” 

You try to smother your laughter because this is serious, but then you’re imagining a headline that says, ‘Local Man Attempts Suicide By Pussy,’ and you break into manic giggles that send you right back into Punz’s chest as he laughs with you. His hand rubbed up and down your back, slow and soft, melting your form against his. 

You turned your head once the giggles calmed down, taking a deep breath of his cologne while you listened to his heart. “I still feel bad,” you admitted. “Like I pushed too far.”

“I promise you didn’t, baby.” The speed of his answer makes you melt just a bit more. “I get being worried about it, though, because I do, too…” He hummed as he thought. “Sappy said you guys decided on a safe word?”

You nodded against him. “Pineapple,”

“Pineapple. Okay, so how about we both promise that if the other crosses a line, we say ‘pineapple.’ Then we know it’s an actual ‘no’ and not just more playing. How’s that sound?” You give another nod that he returns with a squeeze. “You want me to take you home, baby?” You’re shaking your head without a second thought, pressing yourself deeper against him. You get another squeeze in response, a silent, ‘I won’t leave you.’ “You wanna get some dinner?”

You forced yourself to pull away, his fingertips trailing over your body as long as they can until they hook onto yours. You beamed at him. “That sounds really nice, old man.”

Punz laughed. “Let’s go, then, brat.”

[scaryfaggot]

i was going to do a long anonymous message but you would literally sus it out immediately. Well let’s put that to the test i suppose…… i’ll try to refrain from using key words. MY MESAAGE: in 2021 when i first started to become friends with you lot i chose a few of you and sent you all a bunch of nice messages on anon at the same time because i was cringe. and in my notes app i found at least the draft of the one i wrote for you… i’m not sure i ever sent it bc it was literally just after we had become acquainted. but you were still one of the Few people i drafted a message for. and it says as follows: “i want you to know i think you’re really cool. it slightly intimidates me. despite your habit of senseless verbal harassment (joke.) you have been quite welcoming to me and i really appreciate it. idk why we approach each other in the way that we do but i consider you a friend. maybe even a [KEY WORD].”. it is crazy to think that from our first interaction you immediately declared me as such and were so welcoming to me despite literally fucking having me blocked the hours beforehand especially bc i know you can be shy around people you have barely interacted with and we had not at all. sometimes i know i am admittedly a bit mean to you maybe EVEN THOUGH I ENVER MEAN TO BE… i am just a very teasing friend. but i hope you feel that you always feel you belong with me and our friends as much as i feel i belong with you. i use the word belonging a lot because it is something i notably never felt with the friends i had growing up and something i yearned to find and thought i would be searching for my entire life until i met you and our friends . i remember one time asking one of my closest old friends if she felt she belonged within our little friend group growing up and the genuine yes she answered made me feel like there was a glass wall between me and everyone else. i hope you never feel that way with us but if you do sometimes it is okay. it is hard not to feel alone sometimes . but feel alone with your brother <- fuck it when you can stand to let yourself. i remember in early 2022 it was. january 7th i think when i was depressed my damn crush was cold shouldering me (YES HER.) and we had that stupid fucking conversation where we ranked Something i will not be saying and the whole HA! bit came about. and i remember thinking That night “wilbur is one of my best friends”. i cant even recall how regularly we would dm at that time. i think it was a decent amount but regardless we just happened to that night. now it is daily. and it is unsettling to have days where we don’t talk <- i know we can’t when u work and i am like passed out ill some days but whenever i realize we have not talked i’m like fuckkkk. Anyways. i’m not even drunk right now i just reminisce so much about it all…. it all feels like from a different life time. those days. tommyinnit…. Fuck. i think about you and our friends every day. every morning when i get up and when i’m driving and looking out into the distance of the flat empty midwest. i know any direction i look one of you could be out there. it makes me cry. i am so happy to have you. i like that we are under the same clouds a lot of times. i like that you are four hours from me. never doubt i will meet you even if it is years from now. i will fucking track you down if i have to. this is the gayest fucking shit i have possibly ever written in my life. Well i hope that affirms how much you mean to me. Faggot

OHHHHH MYYYYY GODDDDSDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BROTHER UUUUAUUGGHHH😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ weeps openly

[cheddar-inq]

three more scug designs!

btw usually ill refer to slugcats just with they/them pronouns but some of them will use pronouns like he/him or she/her depending on my personal headcanons for them i think arti and hunter use any pronouns but use she/her the most, rivulet uses he/they, and spearmaster uses any but primarily they/them idk man its just how i see them, call any of them whatever you like !!!!

anyways

monk is one of the few slugcats in the group with no glowing whatsoever, instead being able to grow flowers on their back these flowers can be picked without hurting monk, and if gifted to any creature will remove any hostility that specific creature has towards whoever gave it to them. the effect stays even if the flower is lost, and the flower doesnt mean the creature wont go back to being hostile.

its kind of like. "wow this is a great gift ok i wont beat the shit out of this person" and if you arent treating said creature kindly it will go right back to hating/wanting to eat you

monk is always at max karma and can grow karma flowers (although pretty rarely) alongside the normal ones. the karma flowers dont have the same effect as the normal flowers, just. normal karma flower !!

theyre pretty quiet, but super friendly and hate seeing people fight. they suck at breaking up fights, though, and usually just end up trying to find somebody else to break it up

bros also really short thank you for your time

monk uses he/she pronouns

next up is artificer !!

artificer, along with a couple others like hunter and spearmaster, does most of the protecting for the group.

although capable of glowing, its not something she can do easily and its not something that really worth trying to do

Along with her normal explosion jumps/explosions, she can do a MASSIVE explosion which stuns and/or kills any creature in a pretty large radius. usually if theres a lot of creatures in one spot she'll go in, explode once or twice, and then come back so she doesnt stun/hurt any of the scugs in the group.

she can use the massive explosion once, maybe twice before needing to lie down and cool down. using it causes her scars to start glowing a bit and smoking and they get very hot which hurts arti a lot, so she doesnt use that explosion very often, only when she really needs to.

her usual explosions often work fine if she overheats from any of her explosions it has the same effect, but it starts a lot slower and just keeps building up- faint glowing, getting hotter, and starting to smoke

shes very protective over the others (at least, the ones she likes) and struggles a lot with keeping her emotions in check, as she has a habit of getting worked up over things and needing to sit down and calm herself down for a bit.

arti uses any pronouns, she/her preferred (she and hunter are partners. love them)

aaand hunter !!

Hunter is based on a lantern mouse in terms of design. when sleeping, relaxed, or in bright spaces, she looks like the first design (dark red/orange-red one), but in dark places or when feeling a strong emotion they kind of "pop" to the lighter form and constantly glow (like a lantern mouse), their eyes and tail tip glow the most (eyes also get slightly lighter in color)

hunter is fairly serious but likes to slip jokes into conversation while keeping a straight face and not changing their tone at all, just to see if anyone will notice

shes usually hanging out near artificer

has the rot (of course how could i not) and sometimes it'll start to effect him more than usual, causing them a lot of pain and making it hard to walk. if it gets bad enough she can just collapse and wait for it to wear off enough for them to get up again

hunter uses any pronouns, she/they preferred (eheheh artihunter)

edit rq to mention: hunter does have scars, but theyre too dark to see on the darker ver and the glow from the other ver hide them (aka i forgot to unhide the layer with scars so here we are)

artihunter doodle next

[livsspecialinterests]

don't really know what I'm writing or why but it's 0350am and I'm sitting in bed unable to get back to sleep having a weird slight panic

idk whether I'm feeling a bit of a writing slump because I know that the dead should stay dead still has quite a way to go and some part of me worries that by the time I've gotten at the very least to the next big plot point a lot of people may very well have lost interest in the fandom

like I know it's silly because there's probably always going to be some sort of fandom around BJTM but this little community means so much to me and has meant so much to me during a really difficult and life altering time, I mean for gods sake I started writing fics to try to figure out my own meltdowns

plus at this point I really have no other strong interests, idk maybe I'll get super into Doctor Who again with the specials and the new series starting but I've really gone hard on the One Interest

I really love the last few chapters of the dead should stay dead but it's felt a bit different writing them. maybe it's because I feel a little guilty spending whole days on chapters when I've got so much that I need to do for work (I know it sounds sad but there's exams, portfolio etc), plus I'd really like to give writing original fiction another go

there's also that gnawing fear that the fandom is going to like... vanish, which again is probably not true in its entirety but once the tour ends I can see some people falling off or finding another thing

also people leaving or drifting away from the fandom is a completely okay thing to do I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad if that's what they want to do

it's also not to say that people are obliged to engage with or comment on my fics or hell even read them, of course no one *has to* do anything in fandom it's a bunch of people just having fun

I know I should just write for my own fun and enrichment but external validation is nice, okay? plus these past few weeks the external validation and thinking 'no, I want to write this for the people who are reading the fic and want to know what happens next' have been big motivators

my main motivator used to be this absolutely unstoppable creative drive and love for the show and it's characters (which is still there, I'm unfortunately going to love this silly show until the day I die I think) but this past week I've found that I'd rather study for my work exams than spend time writing a few paragraphs

if I cool it off a little with the frequency of chapter updates it'll probably be a net good for me, I really need to buckle down and get these exams passed, I need to start actually engaging in planning my career because I think in my head I've been thinking I might get a book published one day and as a result I've been sort of half neglecting the actual really decent career I've got

but also my mental health is so much better, I've mostly healed from a lot of my late diagnosed autistic trauma, plus work is actually quite good right now?

maybe more of my writing for BJTM fics was motivated by being mentally ill than I originally thought, and maybe I don't *need* to write fics anymore but I want to and I want to still love writing fics as much as I did back when I was having that difficult time, where it was a huge personal comfort to be able to write Beej having a hard time in very specific ways and have other people comfort him

I have said to my husband that I'll probably cool it with the fics once I've finished the dead should stay dead and am going to focus my creative energy on something original to see where that goes but there's still so much to go on the dead should stay dead..

that silly little fic has become like my baby, I want to write it all, flesh out the characters before the next Big Thing happens, I want to do my ideas justice but I also want to make sure there are people still in the fandom to read it once I get to that point

again I'm super tired it's the middle of the night and I'm rambling, I don't want to imply that anyone reading this should carry on reading something they don't enjoy, and I don't even think the number of people reading the fic has even gone down, I've just woken up this morning full of dread for the fandom changing because, fandom and interests wise, BJTM is kind of all I've got right now.

I didn't really belong to a fandom for years after BBC Sherlock ended and I realised while watching the 4th series that it wasn't that good there was just a very passionate fan base and that's what I likes (I know, I know), BJTM was the first thing I got really into for ages and the first thing I got really into while figuring out what it was that I got *really into* stuff (autism)

obviously no one has to stick around in a fandom for the benefit of a silly autistic fanfic author whos terrified of change, and please, please don't think that's what I'm implying or what I want

ughh idk what I'm even writing, I should probably just reach out more to people but doing that is scary without the buffer of a fic

I should also probably invest more time in doing stuff irl but I know that no hobby gives me the joy that writing gives me, like when I'm really vibing with something there really are few better things for me than being safe at home and writing

also maybe I should try to get into some other stuff but I don't really want to but equally I know the BJTM fandom isn't going to last forever I just.... 🙃

the silly musical and the silly community that has sprung up around it and making art and writing fics for it has saved me in so many ways I'm just scaaarrreedddd (and also tired and typing this at 4am so I might be being dramatic for nothing, plus I know I struggle with assuming any fleeting emotion is going to last forever, maybe I'll feel different in a weeks time idk)

anyway I'm going to try to get a little bit more sleep because I've got to be up for work at 6 for my actual grownup job that I should probably pay more attention to

(this is also totally not some way to subtly say I'm not going to finish the dead should stay dead BTW, I love that fic and I'm proud of what it is and what I've got planned for it, so to the people who are still reading please don't worry 💜)

[yourlocalnicknackkinnie]

Character Bingo: Nick Nack (HP:MS)

@dolly-royal @omggypsyesmeraldathings-blog (I know you asked for Riley too but I'm making it a separate post since its the same character :3 )

Alrighty lets begin (It's gonna be very long because I've got a lot of things to say about him)

They are so cool looking

I gotta admit, he looks very cool. Even tho some prople say he looks like James Charles (Which I STRONGLY disagree) I love his design. I personally like his clothes, the man has drip. Heck, I literally painted a white blazer for a cosplay but now I just wear it when I'm not in cosplay anymore. I also like his facial structure since it gave me a challenge to draw him before but now I've gone used too it. (I can go on and on)

Everyone but me is wrong about them

Ok, so this is just a little joke (I do believe in other people's headcanons about him) but I would make this joke of "As a Nick Nack Kinnie, he would defiantly do that" if there's something that I think he would do.

Wasted Potential

Ik hes in the prequel but he could have more potential in the first game too (Since his model was already made). I think that Nick could've been in the tea party with Mortimer and Riley at the end instead of Kathy. (IDK but stillll)

If they were real I would be afraid of them

Ok, maybe a little startled but still- I mean, he's a puppet that wants a human as his host. But I headcanon that when you say that he's your favorite, he'll stop, cry and just be nicer to you. (Since he doesn't want to harm a fan)

They are deeper then they seem

for some reason I feel like there's something more about Nick that we don't know. The fact that he might have the urge not hunt for Owen and his urge to do it is strange but maybe there's more context in the game when its realesed.

They got done DIRTY by fans

So one time I tried to look how far the fandom has got. So every fandom has R34 art so I decided to type it in on google and OH I REGRET MY DECISION. I found a Nick Nack one- (IDK if that counts tho but still)

Didn't get enough screen time

This applies for the first game. like- we only see him in the shadows and that's it.

I want to carry them in a handbag like a tiny dog

Well kinda, I don't own any handbags but I wanna put him in a back pack instead with him poking out of it. If i had a Nick Nack puppet i would put him in there, let him poke out of it and go out with him like that for aesthetic purposes (And probably comfort reasons as well).

Nothing I like about them is technically canon

Another joke one. I do like things that are canon but I like to come up with headcanons to make me like him more than usual.

Why do they look like that

I don't mean his Midnight show ver. I meant his model that was supposed to be in the first game. What happened to his eyes? Where his is little beard thingy? (I headcanon that the eyes are supposed to be a mechanism that was added in later. like Puppet contact lenses I guess. it was later added because it wasn't in the blue prints so it was just a last minute idea Owen came up with)

Im mentally ill about them

Help, my mind is all about him now- send help (JK)

Wow... they are LITERALLY me!

Yep, that's me (As my username says it) I relate to him a lot. from my interests to maybe personality. heck I made a list of it and there's a lot of things I kin him that its scary. Ex. liking arts, having mood swings, being a tea person, likes to sing (the difference is that I think my voice sounds horrible) and more things-

They've never done anything wrong in their life <33

Ok, Ok maybe he has done some thing wrong in his life but at least he has the urge to not kill us-

So that's all for now. I could make a headcanon post about him on here (Pls reblog or comment down if you want something like this cause I have a lot of headcanons for Nick and plus I love making this kinds of posts)

[dykeyote]

💔 + 🎥 for tpo or rgu (or both!!)

also maybe 📜 for rgu cause i’m trying to get into it

i assume u mean tpp bc idk what else tpo would be tho i may be being stupid ...... so i will do both bc i like to talk >:)

one of my least favorite characters from penumbra and why: oh god i really cannot stand mick mercury . i really cant . i just really dont like himbo characters or anything adjacent ..... unless its handled INSANELY well or in a really new and compelling way i just Do not like cis guy characters where the whole thing is that theyre like incompetent and dumb and thats their main thing and often feels like their Only thing i just Do not like it they immediately get on my nerves and i dont like his voice either so whenever hes on the show i am Displeased ...... theres interesting aspects to him and idk i get why people like him i suppose but i cannot stand him . at all . he just is like the biggest example of a trope i really hate </3

one of my least favorite characters from rgu and why: this ones tricky because like .... i like most of the characters that dont do awful shit . like i can be like "oh i hate akio" and ur gonna be like yeah duh ......

fav scene from penumbra: i did this a while ago in this post but ill also throw in one that i forgot which is that i do quite like juno and cassandra's interactions in murderous mask also .... its quite entertaining and puts an interesting lens on both characters . and also theyre both really fucking funny

fav scene from rgu: okay like.... there are many INSANELY good scenes in rgu . so beautiful so cool so fucking thought provoking it is an AMAZING show . however ngl the scene i think and talk the most abt (i literally was talking abt this to my friend the other day who was thinking abt watching it) is the goddamn scene in the dub (idk what its like in the sub i havent seen it i might after i finish watching the dub thru bc i struggle w paying attntion to captions) where they like . show this like triple angle shot of utena and all the girls are staring at her with heart eyes and shit and then they go in the silliest fucking anime dub voice "Shes So Cool" when it is so obvious that they all want to say shes smoking hot and they need her rn . love that scene . i think abt it all the time . its so funny . why would u censor the lesbians of ohtori academy which is apparently all the girls ever

plotline of rgu and what kind of media it is: revolutionary girl utena is a late 90s anime that was heavily influential on the anime that came later and on animation in general (: the plot surrounds utena tenjou, a teenage girl (ish . her relationship to gender is VERY complex and she is at the very least clearly butch to me . bigender utena 4eva) who wants to be a prince and who is sort of unintentionally drawn into a duel for (among other things) the hand of the rose bride, anthy himemiya, a teenage girl with some magical capacities who is treated more as an object than a person by those who want to win her. utena wins the duel, and continues to have to defend her spot as champion despite not particularly Wanting anthy to treat her as her owner and bride-to-be. things obviously spiral down and get way more complicated from there but thats the basic synopsis of the beginning without spoiling later stuff (: (and obligatory warning for anyone intrigued by that that it gets very heavy later on check the warnings ideally on smt besides does the dog die bc there is a Large amnt and imo the does the dog die doesnt really cover them properly or explicitly explain how intrinsically tied to the narrative some of said warnings Are)

[kwillow]

Hi if you got my last message I'm sorry for the repeat feel free to delete if you didn't because Tumblr decided to go "no <3" at the last second oh boy howdy it's me again devoted anon unmasked, if this ask feels shorter tireder I'm sorry it is tumblr is an evil evil thing, on to my girl she is called Zephyr a lengthened alternate to her canon name that she probably picked out herself probably from a book as I imagine Ambroy boasts a huge library. Onto the daughter. (also apparently Zephyr means gentle breeze so obviously mental image of her gently blowing on Ambroys ear to make it flick to wind him up)

Obviously from sketch to digital I missed things out because I didn't have the effort lmao, her scars from blood letting are probably hidden under her scales so if she's shedding there or pulls them back it will reveal the scars like the dragon heart dragons having those scars under their chest scales from taking out their hearts. She originally was gonna have major implied tail related trauma implying it was cut off and regrew yes I was gon imply it was cut off to be served but I thought that was too far but since her tail is nubby it likely did get injured at some point. Also I like to imagine her hair looks thick and wild and untamed? But also kind of flawless too. It's got a weirdly scaley vibe to it and the hair is probably a bit coarse, not like unpleasantly so just clearly rougher wilder almost. She usually manages her own hair via cleaning drying brushing it ect but secretly she does adore it if a staff member offers to dry her hair or brush it or just to play with it, she's touch starved and pretty woman want to touch her?? Play with her hair?? For real?? Makes her soft. She's very compliant to so if staff are needed to at least neaten up her hair they know she'll sit on the floor where they can easily reach to do her hair and sit good and still for them. The two tone color is cause I think it looks hella cool tbh it added dynamic to her and because she probably bled in her hair plenty as her horns grew in and idk mythos bled into her hair permanently dying it (though its more likely just weird power stuff like how Ambroy hair is golden hers went from brown to pink silver). Also her claws and horns are probably only metal coated and not full metal. Also idk if beans I just like the implied feral prowling stalking predator vibes of it she's an ambush predator ready to take down unsuspecting prey and also viciously hunt House intruders lmao there is mental image of her chasing some guy who broke in maybe scaring a maid and she came running hearing the maid scream absolutely hunting this guy like a wild beast thinking he was attacking the maid and for breaking in. Zephyr can have feral as a treat, as I said she's always a bit off and otherworldly a bit too feral despite the fact they should be civil, could revert to animal revert to quadraped lmao. Zephyr is always like 2 steps away from just turning into a beast and disappearing into the woods or in this case I guess kidnapping Ambroy her treasure now lmao.

Outfit time! And for me to be a liar lmao

She's a comfortable girl, definitely would prefer to dress like she just rolled out of bed. I think she'd have a very casual relationship with clothes, at first I imagine she wore very loose things growing up easy to slide up to access flesh for cutting or very tight constricting covering everything clothes when needing to hide her abuse and likely tight fashionable clothes when later living with Ambroy and probably to some extent dressed up by him for his liking and viewing to the point that when she's older she kinda goes eh fuck it ill wear what I'm comfy in not whats suitable for other people. This also somehow developed into casualness in nudity I suppose exposed stomach falling down loose trousers ect, I also hc she has a dressing gown she'll put on and wear with nothing else only vaguely tied to just about hide everything. I think at this point she just doesn't care XD though she won't obviously do this in public but cover of Ambroys home she can be lax but will respectfully cover up to not fluster the staff they don't need to see a tit ya know she respects them. She's sure Ambroy wouldn't mind seeing a tit, but like she'll jokingly pull her dressing gown over herself pretending to conceal and hide herself from him like no you cannot witness because he probably huffs at her for being so selfish to not share a tit. But just any lazy outfit you can think of she'd wear or own, she likely does have genuine outside activity clothes which are probably actually decent walking clothes I can see her enjoying long walks out climbing treks ect cause she's active or casual outside clothes for tea and biscuits and cakes when the weather is nice but nothing fancy like Ambroy not anymore too much effort. Her fashion is likely probably more similar to the I suppose common folk than the rich cause like common folk know how to enjoy comfort rich people just dress wildly and honestly dressing in common clothes is weirdly nostalgic not exactly comforting but feels right.

Now for my lies and deceit lmao, so I know I said no dress but also. What if one dress one time XD I thought itd be fun to have her in at least one dress outfit. She's probably wearing a corset brasier combo to thin her waist and adjust her chest hence her looking different. Ambroy probably asked so that people don't realise she's showing her age too, though Zephyr definitely asked the staff to be gentle with the corset she's not used to it so they couldn't tighten it as much as Ambroy would hope. This event is likely the reason she doesn't wear dresses anymore. She probably just, had a bit of a identity crisis as the knowledge of, these people are so much different to me, set in. She's not, from wealth or royalty or really even anything important sure shes apparently half something special but she was born into nothing and treated worse for it until she met Ambroy, she realises that she stands over everyone there how delicate and beautiful the woman are and how confident and assured the men are she's, not either she's much larger and yes she knows it's muscle she's strong could probably lift more than some of the gentleman here but compared to these pretty woman she feels so, wrong and out of place and she's not confident as much as she pretends she doesn't dare enter the dance floor her feet are too big her claws too dangerous her tail too in the way. Essentially has a horrible comparison to everyone else moment anxiety and stress rising because oh god she's so different just look she's probably got problems especially because she relates more with the lower class being born into that she can take care of herself while the higher class need to be served she knows she sticks out compared to everyone so she'd leave to smoke outside. Quite literally when overly anxious she produces smoke cause she can breathe fire as a treat and she probably just has a bit of an anxiety attack outside honestly everything was probably just over stimulating for her especially if this is the first event she's been to since fully developing into divine maturity she's only just finding herself her new 'real' self and her senses are likely overwhelmed with the music chatting dancing singing perfumes sparkling jewellery and decorations and heat of the room and just she's not been raised in this like Ambroy the odd event but not really made for it and would likely not go to anymore. She'd just tell Ambroy it's because she makes the room look cluttered and she shouldn't distract from his divine radiance and beauty like that.

Also Zephyr is probably about 7ft tall or something, as much as I want to make her stupidly tall I'm limiting myself but like you're free to play around with her height and design tweaking it for if its easier in art or for a certain aesthetic ect going full size dif or casual loom. I think canon human Zephyr is about 6ft close to Ambroy height naturally as she's my big strong muscular monster girl so obviously anthro dragon form needs to be bigger than him XD I like me height dif

Anywhos hope you and Ambroy will like and enjoy her design lmao and thank you for enjoying my silly character rambles I just adore your silly lil unicorn so so much he pleases the brain. I hope you have fun with your big project I'm very excited to see it! And I hope work isn't too hard on you either! Baiii

So glad to see Zephyr in the flesh! (So to speak)

Her design is very cute, I love the silver scales and red eyes. All the better that she's 7 ft too - we love a big girl in this house!

I could definitely see Ambroys using her as a fashion doll for a while until she makes me clothing preferences known. He's unfortunately prone to viewing other people as accessories to complement his own outfits.

I like the details you included about her being uncomfortable in the high society company Ambroys tends to keep. Given her background, it makes a lot of sense (and considering the snakes Ambroys tends to associate with - and is - she's probably right to feel that way). I think he'd be torn on her bowing out of his dances and social events - on the one hand, he'd probably buy the excuse that she'd distract from his glory, and he does like being the most eye-catching thing in the room, but he does like to have an entourage so that people think he has friends. Ultimately, though, he wouldn't force her to go... though she may be forced to hear him complaining/gossiping about the proceedings afterward.

Thanks so much for sharing and my apologies again for not being more quick on the message-answering draw - I do really appreciate having your OC shared with me, despite my bumbling tardiness!

[ahoneesan]

ATHLETICS TRACKING - 5/9/23

Subtitile: HEY I USED TO MAKE POSTS ABOUT THIS

hi! its been a bit. i dont think ive made any posts about this particular subject on this particular blog. not the long form effort posts like these, at least. there have been some fairly major developments here so i figured it was as good a time as any to log them here. and maybe get into the rhythm of writing regularly about this again? dont get your hopes up. but maybe more regularly than Not At All. anyways!

so thanks to having a job i have a gym membership now! that means i can lift Actual Weight instead of being trapped at 40lbs due that being all my at-home dumbbells can do. its nice! i've been progressing through my 5x5 workout without any real trouble so far. except for my overhead press. i literally cannot even begin to finish my 5 sets there, at the suggested introductory weight of 45lbs. its kinda baffling, i wish i knew why exactly i had that one hurdle. but i was barely making 5x5 on 40lbs either so, naturally 45 would be tougher! i should probably deload down to, idk, 35 or something and work my way back up but man. cmon! lets frickin go!

the rest of my numbers (which ill list down below) are doing well. i think, at least. steady gains (though they are "newbie gains") through and through, if i stay consistent on em ill be squattin 100 byyyyyy monday after next. which would be pretty cool! i guess! i havent encountered any real hurdles yet (apart from the OP i just mentioned) so its hard to get motivated by goals. im in this for like, the thrill of the lift. again: i guess!

cardio has been fine, though due to workin out preshift i dopnt have time to just like, run forever on that. maybe i only go in early for weights n leave cardio for after? maybe i cardio by running around the block at home then bus in to work like usual? maybe i just crank the speed and hope for the best? ok i did try that last one and it fucked my knee up just a bit lol. ultimately cardio is a supplement to the weight training for me so, afaik, its more important to have that elevated heart rate sustained for longer and longer periods of time than to be trying to make a like 8 minute mile. ill keep at it for now, probably try to ramp the speed up a lil more slowly than I did but as far length of workout i kinda dunno what to do. im still kinda entranced by the treadmill i now have access to so, probably keep on that for a while longer.

as far my body numbers go, theyre more or less unchanged from where I was when i started doing all this like, a year ago. which is part of Why im not so motivated by goals n such. but thats of course still on me. havent had my diet right, wayyyyy too many breaks n off days, no ability for actual Progression until just now. hopin i can start to turn this dang machine into some fucking muscle soon. i think i can! maybe! AUGH!

NUMBERS

SQUAT - 70

BENCH - 60

ROW - 80 (pulled my back just a lil on this last time, lol.)

OVERHEAD - 45 (cant even finish this weight lol)

DEADLIFT - 105

CARDIO - 4.5mph(?), 45min

WEIGHT - 160

BODYFAT - 24%

[ess-presso]

hello ess !

that fic rec sounds wonderful im v excited to read :) my turn: paper rings by apricusapollo (zar just reblogged this rec so maybe u already saw it but it sounds so good) but for good measure heres another: 10 things i (dont) hate about you by kjms (jegulus 10 things i hate about you au)

tay time <3 i almost do, today was a fairytale, & forever & always !

chatty time!

that line about harry becoming RAPIDLY obsessed with draco will never not make me feel insane. how did jkr (derogatory) even write that it sounds like something from a fic fr.

your star converse sound so cool, i think ive seen someone wearing the same ones around and they were so cute. i love them

i love the trojan horse & the story of troy too <3 it was prob one of the first myths i learned and the rest is history. also did u know that some people thought the trojan horse was REAL? like. people in my GREEK MYTHOLOGY course. maybe thts just a common misconception or something but idk. i find it very funny

little women 2019 is SO good. i love the entire cast sm and the vibes are just astronomical.

jumanji is SO fucking funny. ill never not lose my shit at the weapons valet part its just. so dumb i love it

americans being a novelty there is SO funny. youd think that they wouldnt be here in canada but oh. they so are. i think a lot of americans (at least west coast americans where our accents are fairly similar) think canadians are like. identical to them. but that is so wrong we habitually will make fun of anyone with an american license plate up in canada.

my cats! the oldest is named pixie. (she was really tiny when we got her & i was obsessed with fairies when i was younger lol) and ive had her since kindergarten. so like a LONG time. shes a mean old lady now but i love her. the other two are siblings! theyre a few years old but still act like kittens & their names are mike and el (yes after the stranger things characters i dont wanna talk about it) which is very unfitting because the cats are SIBLINGs but the characters are in a relationship. (for the record i suggested artemis and apollo as names but was swiftly shut down. i have a family of haters)

and yes we dont get snow here. at least my part of canada. i live at pretty much sea-level on the coast so its just rain sadly. but pretty much like. every other part of canada will see snow in the winter at some point or another !

and pansy x percy? wait i kinda love that. never wouldve thought of them together but they actually sound cute.

fuck james marry sirius and KILL remus?? honestly respect. (and "mummy's got a job to do" REAL LMAO)

and omg starting with the silmarillion? that is BOLD. i havent even touched that book yet. from what ive gathered via osmosis i think it can almost be read as an encyclopedia for tolkien's world. so its just a lot. godspeed with that!

and yes. the shadowhunters chronicles is based on hp fanfic. BUT i read somewhere it was actually draco x ginny so every day i pray thats true. (hey another rarepair) but fear not the series is actually good. and theres like a million sequel & prequel series within it so you dont really have time to think about the incest .

and yes podg! the movie with ben barnes is a HORRIBLE adaptation. like its so different from the book so beware. but its still mildly entertaining bc ben barnes is gorgeous so.

"drunk procrastinator" being ur movie title is so real. cue me every weekend when i have a big paper to write or something.

and yes! cats! you should get one. they will change your life i swear.

the amortentia trope is SO good. i eat it up every time. same with the veritaserum. bonus points if theyre doing a veritaserum drinking game/truth or dare>>>

thats actually a pretty useful weird talent. running late and need breakfast? cereal.

and yes! thats a gas station order! your best friend being your chauffeur REAL. i dont drive so my best friend is my chauffeur & im the gps & dj.

poppies & lavender are so nice. i have a ton of lavender in my garden and its so nice in the summer when it blooms. hydrangeas are so pretty too. the colours are absolutely gorgeous

pluto! i love pluto sm. one of my fav planets (i refuse to say dwarf planet. shes not a dwarf in my heart shes huge) aside from maybe neptune.

and oh my god. a phone call during a funeral? the ring tone being BABY GOT BACK? idk how you survived. i would have been mortified i could never show my face again.

saxophone is so nice. sometimes all you need is some smooth jazz and a massive glass of wine or something.

answering questions time:

poutine! omg im so glad you asked me this question. in short its just french fries covered in gravy and cheese curds. a lot of people think it sounds gross/think it looks gross (it does look...questionable sometimes) but i SWEAR its so good. very good comfort food & and strangely good when you go to the movies.

unpopular marauders opinion......hmm. maybe that barty would be well suited as a ravenclaw? i know his house has never been confirmed but he canonically got 12 OWLS so the boy is SMART plus he SLAYED being the DADA prof. (not that other houses arent smart. u know what i mean) (but i still love him in the slytherin gang. they have my whole heart)

unpopular opinion about life: its okay to be weird and just silly sometimes. some people are just so caught up in being "normal" that they forget that we're all just. people. like its okay to be silly and live our lives the way we want! (maybe not an unpopular opinion but i know there are people out there that are just. really stuck up & could do well to remember this LOL)

dream car - i dont drive so IDK LOL but ive always liked colourful cars. like give me a bright red or forest green or cobalt blue car. theres a SEVERE lack of colourful cars on the road nowadays its so sad.

i havent seen the apprentice! i dont watch a lot of reality tv in general but from what youve told me about it i might have to check it out cause it sounds entertaining.

i totally believe in soulmates both platonic and romantic. like theres gonna be people you meet in your life that youll click with instantly and theyll become a part of u in a way even if you drift apart etc. like my best friend is prob my platonic soulmate. ive known her for quite literally my entire life (i think i was only a few months old when i met her) and shes literally my sister .

hidden talent: maybe not exactly a hidden talent but im really good at geoguessr ! oh also i can untie almost any knot. i guess thats more of a hidden talent. kinda useless but really handy when my converse laces arent cooperating.💪

favourite villain: prob either loki or darth vader. in a way theyre both anti-heros and i personally love morally grey characters so🫶

ive never had my heart broken! i probably internalized effy's "nobody breaks my heart" from skins too much so. i simply dont let myself get close enough to people so i dont get hurt. works every time👍

ever broken a heart: i think i did indirectly whoops. but luckily only once. long story short one of my friends liked me on & off during high school, i got confrontational while heavily under the influence and told him i didnt like him that way. he DID ignore me for the rest of the year but yeah. the rest is history. i think he came out as gay recently so. good for him!

your question time!

favourite greek god/goddess?

fav marauders fancast(s)?

hogwarts house?

fav greek myth(s)?

soldier, poet, king? (praying youve seen this trend)

one thing you cannot leave the house without?

if you were from the percy jackson universe who would be your godly parent?

top 5 albums of all time?

do you believe in soulmates?

thats all for now. talk to u again very soon🕺

-bee

bee bee bee hello i missed you n i love u <333

on god , i love these type of stories that are partly based on taylor songs . paper rings is one of my favourites on lover , so this is going into my marked for later ! & i love 10 things I hate about you too !!!! (cameron is my favourite character . HE LEARNT FRENCH FOR HER!!!) your fics recs are absolutely stellar!!!

here’s one for you - (‘unbreakable heaven by sequin haze’ - based on ‘Cruel Summer’ , ft friend-with-benefits Jegulus & trans regulus !!! )

tay tay -

i almost do - WOLFSTAR - i think of it as wolfstar because to me it’s basically sirius to remus while he’s in azkaban ‘i bet sometimes you wonder ‘bout me’. And i very much think that remus has dreams about sirius touching his face and asking him to try over again , and remus is 🤏 this close to saying ‘okay’.

today was a fairytale - JILY - i think it’s so inexplicably joly after their first date !!! ‘this magic in the air // must have been the way you kissed me’ that to me is their thoughts in canon, after they kissed for the first time on their date. (also james’s smile would so take lily to another planet , just saying)

forever & always - JEGULUS - I can just imagine james telling reg ‘forever and always’ and then reg being in his head like ‘you promised me forever’ and james going away like a ‘scared little boy’ because reg got the mark. it hurts my poor little jegulus heart.

chatting <333 -

ISN’T IT ??? the woman was so concerned about making her characters at hetero as possible that she just made them gay squared. (and the amount of people i’ve seen asking for the fic when this quote is in a tt. like , babe , no it’s from the og books .)

I LOVE MY STAR CONVERSE TOO !!! very cute indeed they’re amazing . (still my red ones beat everyone and everything >>>)

people think the horse is real ?? like do they really have that little faith in the human race?? in the middle of the war being like ‘wow there’s a giant horse at the door of my city ! this isn’t suspicious at all , let me bring it in !’ is something someone would actually do 💀💀💀. like bro no , give homer his credit.

I LOVE LITTLE WOMEN SM TOO. I watched it for emma , and i came out in love with timmy & flo.

jumanji is honestly such a comfort watch it’s one of my forever favourites.

nah americans are genuinely so annoying sometimes. like especially the piss annoying tourists , always standing in the way. like i’ve heard too many of them correct the way brits pronounce things ( honey , it’s aloominum not aluminium. STFU BITCH) and when they start talking so you talk back and ask where they’re from , why they always say ‘dallas , texas.’ like bro was giving me her gps location , why not just say ‘america’ ??? (the worst one was when i saw someone say that ‘the ancients didn’t build stonehenge aesthetically’)

PIXIE , MIKE AND EL???? THAT’S SO CUTE AND ADORABLE OH MY GOD. (i agree artemis and apollo would’ve been a fucking amazing name.your family just don’t get it.) my friend actually has a cat named pixie who is also a mean old lady!! this pixie fuckin hates me she tried to scratch my guts out once. but i think she’s warming up to me now , because she took 10seconds to do that last time instead of her usual five.

bee u live in the 1% of canada that doesn’t get snow !!! ULTRA-RARE POSITION IN LIFE ACHIEVED !!!

i never would’ve thought of pansy and percy either, but i was scrolling and came across it , and i’m a pretty open-minded girl, so i was like ‘why not’ and i was pleasantly surprised. (here’s the fic i’m talking about - ‘the secretary by pacificrimbaud’ it’s really good !! )

fucking james marrying sirius and killing remus is the most controversial decision i’ve ever made , but i STAND BY IT.

for now i’m just staring at my copy of the silmarillion willing it to become smaller. idk if my brain can handle more than like a page a month.

AT LEAST IT’S NOT RON X GINNY !!!!! maybe i’ll give it a shot one day many years in the future. it seems like there’s at least 50 books and she’s… still not done.

i’ll read the book first , then , as i always do. I’ll watch he movie , but only for ben barnes. I love him.

DRUNK PROCRASTINATOR FOR THE WIN. ( me on the roof rn trying to write my paper that was due last week. and the other one that’s due tomorrow! hopefully lu shows up soon with the monsters and good vibes!! he has no homework (he does his stuff on time) so he’s just gonna be keeping me company.)

CATS CATE CATSSS . studying with one purring in your lap sounds so peaceful !!!

amortentia trope >>>>>>> (i’m actually writing a scene in the quaffle & the snitch , where reg is dared to make james fall in love with him. like a bet movie. i’m loving it already.) I LOVE THEM SO MUCH HONESTLY !!! ‘you love me ?? you’re lying.’ ‘i’m on veritaserum you dumb fuck i’m NOT. lying.’

cereal is my go-to for breakfast, but sometimes i do get apple turnovers on the weekend with my chauffeur. (i’ll be referring to the best friend as either ‘chauffeur’ or ‘lu’ (which is my nickname for him) because typing out ‘my best friend’ is going to take forever.)

thank fuck i got the gas station order right. lu is ordered to be my chauffeur. sometimes we go on midnight grocery runs to the big tesco. (once got drunk and bought the entire stock of lurpak. thankfully there were only four tubs !! (lurpak is rich people butter btw) ) i’m the dj , which is mostly tay tay. he involuntarily knows all the words to shake it off and my tears ricochet now.

YOU HAVE LAVENDERS IN YOUR GARDEN????? THAT’S SO AWESOME ???? they look so nice but i kill a lot of plants. but maybe i’ll buy another bouquet and keep it alive this time??

PLUTO STAYS WINNING. SHE IS A PLANET. NASA DON’T MAKE THE RULES I DO.

(and the baby got back was so embarrassing it’s UNREAL. but it was lu calling to ask if i wanted pizza , so at least i got pizza ?? )

jazz and wine and a best friend to dance around the kitchen with >>>>>> life made .

reviewing your q’s . -

poutine sounds amazing , people are just haters. why do americans hate on poutine when they have ‘jello salad’ like god hates a country but it ain’t canada , sweet pea.

HE WOULD SLAY AS A RAVENCLAW !!!!! and he slayed as a dada professor too !! (but he did traumatise my boy neville so minus one point for that) (he slays as a slytherin too , because i like him to be a part of that friend group , yk?)

YES DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!!! the world would be a better place if people stopped trying to make everything the same !!

when i was younger , i wanted a pink car. now i just want lu to drive me around forever. his car is black , so unfortunately not colourful .(the lack of colour on the streets should be a crime.)

THE APPRENTICE IS SO WORTH IT !!! i love it so much it’s so funny honestly watch it watch it !! New eps every thursday (watch season 17!!)

yes soulmates are platonic and romantic!!! i met lu in primary , and i think i’d just about die if he were to leave me . like he is life i love him , i’d kill for him.

I just searched up what geogueser is , and i’ve found my new hyperfixation !!! will be updating with my skills on this later. (i wish i had your lace-untying skills. 90% of the time i’m in 70 different positions before they’re actually untied.)

‘Luke i am your father.’ that’s all for this one.

love that you’ve never had your heartbroken !!! ( I have , last year. from a girl called victoria , who’s actually kind of a dick now that i think about it. can’t believe i was crying over some random bitch. lu & monster are the only consistent things in my life!!)

nah your friend a piss-bag for being all ‘ooh you don’t like me , WELL I DON’T LIKE YOU.’ that’s rude. if he was a real one , he would’ve stayed. bro came out as gay ?? i’m waiting for his apology 🤨🤨🤨.

my q’s !! -

god - apollo // godess - artemis. i love those two a lot actually. the sun and the moon >>>>>

now , vis a vis fancasts. i love andrew & ben , not dane . i love the edits of atj , he has such a big range of scenes , and i think some of his scenes are very james ! but my default james is this guy - (search up mo malik on tt if you don’t wanna click the link , it’s the pinned video on @motheh0e account with around 8.4 mill views.)

full respect if people don’t imagine him though ! as for reiky, i keep seeing him bent over some ladies knickers , and it makes me laugh a lot . but he could be james too , definitely!! he’s not my default though. My fc for evan is hugh laughton-scott , and for barty it’s maxen danet fauvel. (ik i spelt it wrong , i’m on the roof rn give me a second) & for pandora it’s elle fanning , and for lily , annalise basso. for pete , lewis capaldi is my favourite, his character is what imagine peter to be (if peter was good ). BUT MY FAVOURITE BY FAR IS OF COURSE REGULUS BLACK AS MR TIMOTHÉE CHALAMET!!!! i live for this one. whoever fc’ed him , i wish them only good things in life.

3. GRYFFINDOR !!!!! RAHHHHHHHHHHHH. (my first one was a slytherin but i lied on a tonne of the q’s and got gryffindor on my second account so I’M A GRYFFINDOR .)

4. orpheus and eurydice kills me every fucking time man. like if he’d just waited for one more second. they’d both be alive. but he loved her too much not to look at her. (trojan horse is a close second of course !!)

5. soldier . i see everyone talking about king and poet , but where’s the stuff about the noble soldier ??? (i wanted to be king and the almighty ruler so i’m a bit pissed. might pull a macbeth.)

6.phone . (obviously, but i’ll give you another few because that was too obvious.) purse (i lost it like three times this academic year already) & my bingo tickets from three years ago in which i won a tenner (reminds me of gold times.) also my planning notebook because i get a shit tonne of ideas on a walk. OOOH OOH ALSO MY HEADPHONE . need to bop out to taylor , of course.

7. just did the quiz and got athena ! not bad , if i do say so myself !!

8. folklore , evermore , 1989 , lover & rep. (all taylor but i have other faves. but without these i’d die.)

9.yes , of course !!! i think soulmates are there , very much. for example , lu is very much my soulmate , platonic , and i’d do anything for him. absolutely anything. ANYTHING . (for reference, i’d only ever share my food with him. )

q’s for your next journey to my ask box -

top 5 albums ?

hogwarts house ?

divergent faction ?

favourite fun fact ?

soldier , poet or king ?

gold or silver jewellery?

taylor or lana ?

cruel summer vs don’t blame me.

my tears ricochet vs the great war.

favourite candle scent?

pet peeve ?

what makes you laugh the most ?

do u have a middle name ?

how common is ‘eh’ and ‘hoser’ in canada ?

(that’s all for now bee , but i shall be awaiting your reply like a wife waiting for her soldier husband to return from war. don’t die on the battlefield, bee . come back soon !)

[sorryiapologized]

I'm starting a blog. So I've hit rock bottom.

I used to think Blogs were only for desperate mothers and that one dog from the Disney Channel show (RIP). Now, I've realized that I fit into some third category: 20-somethings who want to feel some sort of connection with internet strangers. Do I seek validation? Idk maybe. Maybe I'm just lonely. Or maybe I'm having one of the worst days in my adult life.

I've also decided to do this because I am a special type of mentally ill. I have (undiagnosed) ADHD and a custom blend of Anxiety and Depression. This means that I need to be around others to be held accountable to do virtually anything. My therapist says journaling will help, but I need an audience to listen to my woes. If I'm not writing for someone else, what's the point, right?

So, here's how my day went.

My person is sick. They stayed home from work today. And I woke up to a blizzard. In Seattle. It was already a bad omen. I spent the morning trying to take care of them, as well as our two dogs and cat, let the maintenance dudes in and out and in and out of my apartment because they had to fix this giant hole (NO this is not a porn blog, get your mind out of the gutter, dear reader) and on top of all that I had my weekly Wednesday meeting that takes 25 minutes longer than it should.

On the off chance my person has COVID, I told my boss I would not make it into the office today. I work remotely and only go in once a week for a few hours to make promotional tik toks because apparently nobody over the age of 25 knows what's cool anymore. (I probably don't either, because I'm making a blog.) My boss told me I needed to come in so they could talk to me. That didn't sit right with me.

For the next two hours I fretted over what it could be they needed to talk about. Then I did this stupid journaling thing my therapist said. I wrote down all my anxieties and then picked apart what was real and what my brain was jumping to.

Here's what I came up with:

Real: I am a good writer.

Real: I am invaluable to the paper I work for.

Real: I am the only one who knows how to effectively use tiktok.

Anxiety: They would want to fire me because sometimes I misuse punctuation and have trouble spelling.

Well, it turns out anxiety won over today. I got to work and they immediately told me to take a walk outside with them. It was snowing. I was in a cropped sweatshirt. They then lit up a cigarette. Blowing smoke into my face, they bluntly told me that if it weren't for the 70 year old ad manager who can't use a computer I would be the weakest link at our newspaper. Our copy editor hates me because I use too many run-on sentences. They said for someone with degrees in both English and Political Science I make a lot of dumb mistakes, like this week when I thought the author of Anne of Green Gables was "Ellen Montgomery." They said if I don't improve very quickly, I might get fired.

And then I went back inside and pretended to work for another hour like a moron.

I walked home in the snow, shivering my bellybutton off because not only do I not know how to use commas but I also don't know how to wear a coat. I huddled up next to my person, who looks more like a zombie than the adorable little monkey they usually are. They had a 101 degree fever so I told them to take another COVID test. It was positive. Who is still getting COVID in 2023?? At least they didn't start a blog. That would be even more embarrassing.

I was supposed to go to a birthday party tonight, for friends I had already canceled plans with three times. At this point I'm worried it looks like I'm trying not to hang out with them, even though they're the coolest people I know. So, instead of partying and getting high with my favorite local comedians on a rooftop, I ordered takeout and sat on my couch alone, trying not to cry.

If you're still with me, dear reader, I will treat you to an excerpt from my diary:

I was supposed to go to Stephanie's party. Instead, I am sitting on the couch trying not to cry into a takeout burrito while I binge a whole mini-series about the FLDS Cult to try and feel a little bit better about my life. And I can't even cuddle with my person because they're locked in isolation in our bedroom.

Sleeping on the couch, questioning my future, and basking in loneliness? This must be what 45 year old men in a midlife crisis feel like. Fuck, I'm even getting into religion with this show.

So, there I have it, the lowest point in my life since I graduated college, moved to Seattle, and got what I thought would only be a temporary job. A job that I very well might get fired from. Maybe the real reason I've decided to start this blog is to prove to myself that I am a good writer after all. Even if I do spell a few words wrong here and their.

Also, Oliver, my cat, is throwing a tantrum because he is stuck in the living room with me until his other parent gets over COVID. He is not happy. I wonder if he'll try to eat me in my sleep?

[globodamorte]

I'm scared

something I only thought about now is how in the beginning of this story it really looked like there would be more than 1 killer, and that maybe everyone was in on it, or that everyone did something bad in there.

but now everything points to seongbin all the time and all the arguments against him that aren't circumstantial evidence is just 'jhhh...but... mental illness... he's sick... he's crazy... and dangerous and scary ...." like.come ON.

idk I just realized I do feel a little let down bc the thing in the beginning was of course 'omg who did this' and obviously when there's no evidence yet everyone looks suspicious. BUT. what I mean is: chasing tails with a name like that sounds like they'll be running in circles not really getting a-

FUCK ARE THEY RUNNING IN CIRCLES NOT REALLY GETTING ANYWHERE C THEYRE SO FOCUSED ON SEONGBIN????

like sure it was explained how the term chasing tails exists in investigation spaces but that doesn't mean I couldn't have a double meaning or better that doesn't mean the literal meaning also couldn't apply as an underlying ... theme? event? idk

anyway. that would be awesome but I digress. what I mean is: having a single culprit is kinda boring especially when at the start it really looked like at least 3 different people may have acted on their own there

and sure this is still possible for a looong time everyone assumed the murders and the cannibalism were committed by two different people but idk man... blaming everything on the mentally ill person is not a good look

also I saw someone in the comments say how the message of this webtoon maybe was 'look how sad seongbin would've lived a normal life if that building hadn't collapsed' but idk this line of thought also kinda leads to ... I'm gonna try my best to explain... like it might lead people to think "oh so he was a potential murderer that was one accident away from commiting a murder spree" and that's awful thinking that just contributes to the stigmatization of mental illness and specially psychosis and schizophrenia.

so far we don't know if his illness was indeed untreated and I've seen people blaming HIS MOM for saying he has to lay low. like are fucking serious??? a traumatized woman who was institutionalized against her will and was treated with neglect (because come on giving her medication that has severe side effects long term is neglect in my book) and like we don't know the extent of the mistreatment she suffered in there. are we seriously blaming her for trying to take care of her son??? because she didn't want him to suffer like she did????

TUDO ES CULPA DEL SISTEMA Y DEL CAPITALISMO

why is anyone saying how the other characters don't have motive when WE ARE NOT SHOWN THE OTHER CHARACTERS AT ALL BC THEY ONLY FOCUS ON SEONGBIN. also his motive being "uhhh I'm mentally ill.im crazyyyyy" .... not cool.

idk where I was going with this. bashi you're on thin fucking ice.

[aminiatureworld]

Disappearance II

Character: Albedo, gn!reader

Word Count: 2,149

Warnings: None

Premise: In which there is an argument and the reader disappears.

Author’s Note: Idk why I’ve characterized Albedo as a slob twice now. I guess I just think he’s the kind of person to become so engrossed in his research he just, never takes care of himself or his surroundings.

Also this was supposed to be two people but I procrastinated terribly so… here we are haha. Part three tomorrow.

Albedo

It was the third time this week that you had managed to spill his lab notes all over the floor, and frankly Albedo wasn’t sure if he could deal with it any longer.

“You’ve got a lot of papers strewn around,” you said, tone light and joking as you crouched to gather all the papers up.

“You’re the one that keeps bumping into things,” Albedo mumbled, crouching next to you to make sure that you put things back in order.

Seeing that you were putting things together haphazardly he snatched up the papers, frowning slightly as he went through the papers. Honestly, how could you mess up his system so much? As much as Albedo appreciated your interest in his work you were a Knight of Favonius, not a scientist, and as such your visits seemed to cause havoc more than anything else.

“Do you want me to help you with that?” You asked, exasperation creeping into your tone.

“No.”

“Are you sure? You seem, stressed. If you want I could pick up the papers on the tables and organize.”

“Don’t!”

“Albedo?” You leaned back slightly, as if surprised. For some reason that only made the alchemist more irritated.

“If you do that, you’ll just be creating more work for me. I’m very busy right now, I don’t have time to go back and fix your mistakes.”

“Mistakes?”

“It’s already enough that you keep spilling things all over the ground.”

“It’s not my fault that you leave your papers everywhere without even trying to keep them organized.”

“They are organized!”

“Well they certainly don’t look organized to me.”

“You just don’t understand. Besides, I’ve managed not to knock everything over.”

“You know, you’re insufferable when you get like this.”

“I’m not any different than usual.”

“I hope you don’t really think that,” you replied, tone clipped.

Standing up you turned towards the door. Though Albedo made a half-hearted call of your name you didn’t react, simply walking out of the room and slamming the door as hard as possible behind you.

Albedo didn’t even think of you the rest of the afternoon. Anger iced over his slight worry, replacing it with a burning sense of resentment. Your sudden departure stung, and, though it was admittedly childish, Albedo found himself determined not to worry about you.

Besides, you were simply an obstacle to his research at this point. Maybe it was better if you went off to cool your head somewhere, then he could finish up his work. That was what usually happened with other people anyways. Apprentices, clients, the occasional wandering alchemist; they all fluttered around him until he couldn’t stand it and then when they inevitably got fed up he’d finish his work. His relationship with you was still new, and though he couldn’t say that you were the same as all those people in his eyes, he really had no reason to think you would react in a different way.

The sun had gone down long before Albedo finally locked up for the night. It had taken him a good forty minutes to reorganize everything that had fallen, though admittedly most of that time was spent in angry silence. Now as Albedo walked down the streets, still busy with night activity, he wondered what might happen when he got home. He certainly wasn’t ready to apologize, even if his tone was a bit curt his words weren’t wrong; but he couldn’t exactly see you apologizing either. It was bound to be a tense evening. One Albedo was certainly not looking forward too.

All the lights were off in the apartment, something that struck Albedo as odd. Walking towards the kitchen he found a piece of paper crumpled up on the kitchen floor, though when he uncrumpled the paper he was met with eraser marks. Letting out a huff of impatience Albedo went to put some water on the stove. So this is how the evening was going to pass; you presumably at a friend’s house, Albedo in stony silence.

“How petty,” Albedo murmured.

He didn’t expect such a show of emotions from you, having come to the conclusion that you were quite the rational sort. Really, this was all too much. He had been in the right after all, even if he had been a bit cold about it. There was no reason to react in such a way. It was this mindset that carried Albedo through the rest of the evening and off to sleep. After all, it was better than the kernel of doubt that rested in the back of his head, that told him he was the one being callous.

You didn’t show up at the apartment or the lab the next day. Albedo buckled down to work, but by midday the irritation and anger that he’d been holding over were replaced by a deep sense of unease. Hurrying home after work he felt panic shoot through him at the sight of your home empty, nothing suggesting anyone had been there in the time he was at work.

It took all of Albedo’s willpower not to run out the door and go look for you. All the anger and irritation he had felt had been thrown out the window, replaced instead with an intense feeling of worry, and of the realization that his actions might bear actual consequences.

Tossing and turning in bed Albedo stared up at the empty ceiling. He had been certain he was in the right, even this morning. You were clumsy, you had been inconsiderate of his work, you were simply stubborn and petty. Now however he replayed your argument, your fight, over and over again. The more he did so the more he became aware of how harshly he’d acted; the more he wished you would simply appear in front of him so he could apologize. He wanted to go after you, wanted to let you know that he genuinely felt bad. And yet he couldn’t bring himself to do so, to go after you. After all, what if you didn’t want to see him? What if he just made things worse? Once more turning in bed Albedo sighed. Tomorrow. Tomorrow he’d see you again. Tomorrow he’d make things better.

There was no sight of you tomorrow either. Albedo stood in his lab in stunned silence, heart hammering in his chest as he contemplated what this could possibly mean. Was this it then? Had he messed up that badly?

Staring around him Albedo noticed all the papers scattered this way and that on the tables and the desks. Seized by a sudden urge he scooped them all up, carrying them over to where he kept his files. A part of him jeered that it was too little too late, but still the alchemist didn’t stop until everything was filed away properly. Turning around to look at his desk he collected the dirty mugs and discarded equipment, putting them in the sink before turning around to pick through the no longer needed papers that still lay sprawled around the room. He didn’t stop for lunch, nor did he go to start back up on the experiment he was currently working on. Instead he kept picking up and putting away and rearranging. It was almost a ritual of some sort, and though it brought little relief, at least it finally brought distraction.

Still that distraction was shattered the minute Albedo stepped outside. The sun was just beginning to dip below the horizon, and the people of Mondstadt were still wandering around, enjoy the cool summer evening. Staring at the people around him, their eyes filled either with purpose or contentment, Albedo realized he couldn’t go home. He couldn’t face the empty apartment again. He thought that his anger would last longer, that he might go a week before feeling as if he burning from the inside out; but now he knew that that had been an arrogant, if somewhat funny, assumption. Turning away from the familiar path home he climbed up the steps of Mondstadt. He knew where he needed to go.

Walking up to the Knights of Favonius Headquarters Albedo was met with the sight of Eula, arms firmly crossed in front of her, faced even colder than usual. Hurrying over to your higher-up Albedo felt uncertainty bloom in his chest. Someone this seemed to bode ill.

“Eula?”

“Ah, the Head Alchemist. What do you wish to say to me?”

“Have you seen my partner?” Albedo paused, somewhat unwilling to reveal what had happened. “They haven’t been home for days, and I wondered if you knew where they might be staying.”

The look on Eula’s face was one of pure disbelief. “You, you don’t know what happened?” Her face shadowed over and she seemed to pull herself up. “If I were your partner, I would declare eternal vengeance for your idiocy. I don’t know what you’ve been doing Head Alchemist, but while you were off doing whatever it is you do, your partner was languishing underground.”

Albedo froze, unsure if he’d truly heard Eula right. The Knight tended to be quite flowery after all with her words. Perhaps this was just a metaphor he couldn’t understand.

“I see that it still hasn’t gotten through your head what happened.” Eula sighed, relaxing slightly. “I sent them off to monitor a few Fatui members, as it seems a group had made their way out of Dragonspine and into Windwail. While doing so they attempted to hide in a small crack in the mountains, but there was a steep drop after that onto the next shelf. Thankfully Amber had also been ordered to scout there, or else who knows how long it might have took to realize they were stuck. I just got the report from them, thankfully there was no lasting trauma.”

“W-where are they?”

“At home I presume. Aren’t you their partner?” Eula tilted her head. “Really, perhaps she should declare a need for vengeance.” And with that the Spindrift Knight walked into the Headquarters, leaving Albedo reeling on the step, heart thudding as if he’d just run a hundred miles.

Albedo practically fell down the steps of Mondstadt, so desperate was he to find you, to make sure you were okay. Eula had said that there was no lasting trauma, but what that meant Albedo was completely unsure of. Had you broken anything? Had you been deprived of oxygen? These thoughts catapulted through Albedo’s brain, constricting his lungs and plunging him into a roil of incoherent emotions.

The sight of you standing in front of his lab cause Albedo to stop in his tracks. For a moment the alchemist was overwhelmed by his emotions, switching between dizzying euphoria, terrible guilt, and unending worry. He took a step forward, then another, walking slowly down the stairs, as if in fear that you might disappear or turn away. However instead of turning away when he reached the end of the steps and made his way towards the fountain you let out a sort of shudder, running towards him and throwing your arms around his neck. Albedo wrapped his arms around you in turn, feeling slightly overwhelmed from the sudden proximity, the sudden feeling of once more being able to feel your skin against his. Letting his head drop onto your shoulder Albedo breathed in deeply, centering himself with your presence, grounding himself in the knowledge that the agony of the previous days was finally over.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled against your shoulder.

“For what?” You whispered back.

“For not listening to you, for blaming you, for being cruel.”

“I’m also sorry.”

“Why? I was in the wrong.”

“Well, I just went off without telling you where I was going. I was going to write a note, but I was so angry I erased it.” You tightened your grasp around Albedo. “I wish I could’ve seen into the future. I never would have done something like that.”

“I don’t care about that,” Albedo ran small circles around the small of your back. “I’m sorry.”

“You already said that.”

“No. I’m sorry for not being there, for not being able to help you; for doing nothing while you…” he stopped, unable to finish the sentence.

Pulling back for a moment you cupped Albedo’s face in your palms, studying his expression. Finally you bent over to press a soft kiss to his lips.

“I forgive you,” you whispered, breath mingling with his.

Albedo leaned into to kiss you once more, finding that his emotions were blocking out any words he might have been able to say. Everything seemed so surreal, as if he’d been stuck in some awful nightmare that only now faded away. And yet this wasn’t a nightmare, this was reality; and Albedo would have to remember that.

For now though, he only wanted to wipe all the fear and conflict away.