#maybe cause the scene before it was so emotional and intense

[tiny-huts]

I probably shouldn't have found this as funny as I did but that scene in Charon's Claw where they throw the sword into the fire and then stare at Artemis for a full five minutes just waiting for him to drop dead. And when he doesn't Drizzt fully said with his mouth "do you feel a sense of impending doom" like he was reading off of a symptoms list on a cursed weapon webMD page

[calummss]

dating 90s/00s eminem …

masterlist 𓆩♱𓆪

kim and hailie don’t exist in this universe

start and development of relationship

i definitely imagine him to take notice of you at one of the underground rap battles roughly 1992/1993

your friend who was interested in going dragged you along one night cause they were really into rap and hip hop

and there you saw him! the one and only marshall marthers destroying every opponent that stood before him

after the battles came to an end you were already attracted to him and tried to get to him to talk to him

here’s how i think it would go:

‘hey, i just wanted to tell you that you absolutely killed it on stage. it’s my first time here so i lack certain knowledge but i know enough to know that you have an incredible talent’

‘thank you. your first time? what’s your name?’

‘y/n’

‘eminem. marshall mathers’

i imagine you to awkwardly shake hands. like i know you’re in the detroit underground scene but neither of you knew how to proceed

‘i hope this won’t be a shot in the dark but can i give you my number?’ your mind literally racing

‘sure, i’ll give you a call if i’m interested’

THIS MAN TURNS AROUND AND DIALS YOUR NUMBER AND LETS YOU ANSWER!! turning around with a smirk and just straight up low key flirting with you

he was embarrassed to bring you to his home but you eventually just showed up one day cause he wasn’t returning calls—you reassured him that you didn’t care and let slip that you loved him no matter what

marshall was definitely a bit overwhelmed at first and took him like a minute to snap out of his trance because it was most likely the first time he truly felt loved, appreciated and cared for

you supported him and his music until he was eventually signed

everyone was confused why you stayed with a man who wrote violent lyrics especially about his wife so you had to explain over and over again that the wife was fictional

and everyone that truly knew marshall knew that he would never lay a hand on you. he would rather d!e than hurt you

three years after you meet you become pregnant and were scared he was going to leave (news flash he didn’t)

he reassured you that if you wanted to keep the baby that you two would figure it out and that he would and could never ever leave your side

you married quick and definitely rushed it but it proved to be the best decision you made including keeping the baby

this lead to the birth of your beautiful daughter—for some reason the name romy jane won’t leave my mind so i’ll just leave it at that

anyway you blink and stardom surrounds marshall

a few hiccups occurred during the relationship but nothing major and you always managed to talk things trough

what the relationship would include

his hand would alway be on your waist! no matter if you’re on his lap, standing next to him or whatever, his hand will be at its rightful place

i believe he prefers cheek and jaw kisses. he loves a good forehead kiss and hand kiss when he’s emotional and talking to you about certain struggles

speaking of struggles; he would always and i mean always put on his strong persona for you but sometimes his walls would crumble and would cry into your shoulder holding you so tight like you’re about to slip from his grasp

you would make appearances in a few music videos

he would also prefer to be in the studio alone but brings you along when all demos are done to get your opinion because he values it a lot (low key more than dres)

of course you would be his main inspiration for a lot of songs, also you daughter, because he admires both of you so much

marshall is 100% a very jealous and possessive man. not overbearing but maybe a little more intense than the average man? he trusts you fully but not others. he doesn’t forbid you of anything but will always say and do stuff to let others know that you’re off limits

i imagine after you got married he got a tattoo of your face or name on his chest like right over his heart

likes holding hands in public and an occasional kiss but nothing more. he prefers his affection to be reserved for only you and not the world

ONLY refers to you as ‘my girl’. when he’s with friends he’d say stuff like ‘yo, where is my girl?’. and others would also refer to you as ‘his girl’. at one point you just got the nickname ‘slim’s girl’ or ‘shady’s girl’ depending on which you prefer

tries to keep you away from hollywood and only goes for recordings, shows etc. when he’s done you both leave for detroit to lead a somewhat quiet life

definitely will buy you a lot of gifts. sometimes expensive or cheap; something that reminds him of you or something he knows you want. he just feels like showering you with gifts. his love language is giving gifts or acts of service. he will watch your favourite show just because you like it

em will always thank you in his speeches!! something along the lines of ‘first of all thank you to dr. dre and my two beautiful girls who i love with my entire heart. you two are my world, i love you!’

but like you don’t understand he will always thank you. he could win a life time supply of soap and he would say your name with pride…he’s just so grateful to have you and to be able to call you family

would hold your bag/bags for you. marshall gives you princess treatment without realising bc he genuinely wants to do it. he will snatch those bags out of your hands before you can protest

when other artists or people take your name or your daughter’s name into their mouths with negative connotations you best believe em will rip them apart, so most people will never attack you or romy bc it’s a death sentence

people can call him lame, bad rapper, ugly, whatever they feel like but as soon as anyone mentions a hair on you or romy’s bodies…it’s over. careers are shredded…you love it though

if you are a girl who likes to get her nails done this is for you; at first you started asking him to choose a design and colour and at first he was confused but he learned to love it especially when you scratched his head or your hands around his yknow what…he even once tried to design some and you got it done

the sex is a mix of mildy rough and vanilla. sometimes you both need something a little more “agressive” but he also needs a calm session. i see it kind as a light switch: it’s either rough or vanilla, occasionally you mix it but it turns out one way or another

also the man is a sucker (pun) for head. like he loves your mouth on him. i genuinely believes it’s in his top 2 favourite sexual activities (don’t deny it i’m right)

extra: if you love marshall right and you two work, it will be both of yours best love, but if things don’t work they can quickly turn into a relationship from hell

[r3medialch8os]

since it is clear to all my favorite episode is my namesake i'm going to outline some of my favorite things about remedial chaos theory.

everything leading up to the Darkest Timeline scenario. before we get to the darkest timeline, several time bombs are planted. we as an audience gradually learn about these but the characters' knowledge of them resets with every new timeline. for one, annie's gun is only adressed in the first timeline. then, in the second timeline when shirley storms out, we become aware of the fact that when the door is slammed hard enough, the rolling boulder model is triggered. further, we learn about britta smoking, pierce bringing alcohol, and the troll doll and its effect on troy. all of these things come to a head in the darkest timeline. troy leaves hastily because he doesn't want to miss anything therefore slamming the door, which triggers the indiana jones model. then the rest follows. it's genius because the chaos was unpredictable but as the audience we recognize all the elements that make it that way.

in every timeline, pierce makes a joke involving eartha kitt. the comedy of it is that every time, the segway he employs is more outlandish. it seems like a gag until jeff's timeline comes up. when jeff leaves to get the pizza, pierce in fact does not make the joke, showing us he was doing it to impress jeff the whole time, offering character insight.

jeff hits his head on the ceiling fan in every timeline. again, it seems random, until at the end annie deems it as 'karma'. we realize then, that jeff hitting his head throughout all the timelines was a karmic punishment this whole time, because he was being unfaithful in his pizza-getter divising system which governed the timelines in the first place.

there is a lot to be said about the implications about what happens when a certain group member leaves. troy's leaving causing the darkest timeline has been thoroughly discussed. what i find most interesting about this particular fact is that the timelines are not real, or so they are denoted. it is emphasized over and over again that abed is the one making up the timelines. therefore we can assume his subjective opinion influences the outcomes of the timelines. we could even assume that the whole episode takes place in his brain. it gives a lot of weight to the significance of troy leaving. in any case, it's not just that particular timeline that's interesting on this front.

when abed leaves to get the pizza, every pairing in the study group has some form of a heart-to-heart and then a disastrous outcome of that very moment resulting into a fight. they go through emotional rollercoasters, maybe more so than they have all episode. it is interesting to note that abed's departure allows the study group to access their emotions more freely, whether they be positive or more negative. it's intriguing how abed assuages these intense emotions, and how these kinds of emotional confrontations would have never happened with his being there.

the timeline where jeff leaves is also fasinating as it clearly illustrates how the group will still have fun without jeff, maybe even more so when he's gone. this is also shown in s03ep01 but becomes even clearer here. the group becomes more carefree, cheery. 

the prime timeline, the one where jeff gets the pizza, is when abed catches the die. this scene is hilarious because none of the study group members have experienced the timeline scenarios as we the audience have because they are in fact living their lives in the timeline as is considered normal. this is what makes it extra funny that they indulge abed in his lengthy verbose speech. they really like each other a lot. it's cool.

anyways, this episode is my very favorite ever and i could talk about it forever. 

[rk1stars]

SHAMELESS. - K.SN

pairing . situationship! sunoo x fem reader, warnings . fighting, mentions of blood, suggestive ending, cursing, sunoo is a tiny teeny bit toxic. word count. 658 | music playing - shameless by camila cabello. | authors note . very different from my usual writing but i hope you like it!

“Sunoo! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” As you approach the scene, you see the man lying on the floor with his nose bleeding, apparently knocked out. Without hesitation, you grab Sunoo and quickly bring him inside the nearest bathroom, making sure to close the door behind you.

After spending a long and tiring week at work, you were looking forward to spending some quality time with your sweet and caring situationship, Sunoo. You planned to have a fun and exciting evening together, filled with laughter and joy. However, things didn't go as planned, and the night took a turn for the worse. You're not sure what went wrong, but everything started going downhill, and the happy atmosphere quickly turned into a tense and uncomfortable one.

You were at a bar, feeling parched and in need of a refreshing drink. While ordering your drink, you noticed a strange man approaching you with a creepy smirk on his features.

“Hey beautiful, you wanna come to my place.?”

As you stood there, you suddenly felt a hand on your waist, causing you to feel uncomfortable. Without hesitation, you pushed his hand away, making it clear that you did not appreciate the unwanted contact.

“I’m not interested. Please don't touch me”

“Ay, don't be so difficult. I know you want this.”

Before you could react, you saw him thrown on the ground while your situationship was punching him in the face over and over again.

“Sunoo! Stop!”

As Sunoo doesn't stop despite your words, you take his hand and lead him towards the nearest bathroom. You guide him through the crowd, gently pushing aside anyone in your path, until you finally reach the bathroom door. Once inside, you make sure to lock the door behind you and check that the room is empty. You then turn to Sunoo and scold him.

“Sunoo! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” yelling at him.

“He was touching you. What do you expect me to do?! Just stand there?” his tongue poking through his cheek.

“Yeah! But not punch him to death?!”

Sunoo was feeling a surge of anger and frustration. He had been putting on a facade of being sweet and caring towards you all this time, but the moment he let his guard down and showed his true emotions, you reacted with anger. He couldn't help but feel like his efforts to be kind to you were being taken for granted, and that his true self was not being accepted.

So many mornings he woke up confused with full of dreams of you and you’re treating him like this?

As Sunoo leaned in closer to you, you couldn't help but feel a sense of intimidation wash over you. Despite his usually sweet and gentle gaze, his eyes now appeared sharp and piercing. It was as though his entire demeanor had shifted, leaving you feeling uneasy and unsure of what to expect next. The intensity of his stare was palpable, and with each passing moment, you found yourself growing more and more anxious in his presence.

The music blasting in the background you felt the intensity of the lyrics.

“Distance, inches in between us.”

“I want you to give in, I want you to give in.”

“Weakness, tension in between us.”

“I just wanna give in.”

“Cat got your tongue? I’ll show you what the fuck I'm doing.”

As you walk alongside Sunoo, you notice him looking at the strap of your short dress. He reaches out and gently takes hold of it. Looking up at you, he mumbles a quiet "May I?" making you nod hesitantly.

Though you felt a bit intimidated, you desperately needed him.

You became acutely aware of your own breathing as you felt a sudden hitch in it. Simultaneously, you noticed that the strap of your dress was gradually slipping down, exposing your shoulder and threatening to unveil more.

maybe you didn’t mind this side of him.

tl

@cholexc

[yandere-kokeshi]

your yandere price was sooo good 😭

can i please request some yandere ghost? maybe reader is a young spec ops soldier who’s really damn good at their job and the typical obsessive behavior ensues but reader is a really stubborn and prideful person so they just fight against him at every turn

— Stubborn

Warnings: slight violence at the start, Ghost being angry, intense makeout scene (I tried!) And love confession.

A/N: Thank you!! Please enjoy this fic, and I may or may not be barking for this man ^^! This is also male reader. Hope that's okay :].

You're code-name is Cobra. While I thought it fit, in future fics, I may change it to a more gn name.

“I told you to stay in the goddamn post!”

His exploding voice echoed throughout the entire room. You flinched at his suddenly changed voice, watching the invisible steam come out of his back like a dragon ready to set fire to a poor village.

Angered. That was his emotion. He was shooting a sharp, repetitive scowl. He’s holding back, cracking his knuckles, hands clenching against one another before uttering something under his breath now and again.

It’s chilling — terrifying even.

Normally, he was quiet and nice with you — at least to some degree. But today you fucked up.

You watched him turn around, facing the big window in the room, admiring the midnight sky and moon. To some degree, it helps cool off the sweat on your body.

Or try to. It certainly did not help with the anger in the room.

Rolling your eyes, you got up from the chair beside the desk in the room, standing up behind him.

“I’m completely fine.” You raised your arms, dangling them around to show him that no cuts or even bruises were forming on your body. “We finished the mission. That’s all that matters, yeah?”

You heard him scoff, “All that matters?” He shifts on his feet, turning to look at you with a glare.

“I gave you an order. ” He stepped closer towards your direction. “A specific — detailed order to not engage unless I worded!”

With each word, he came forward until he was right in front of you, intimidating you with his darkened-brown eyes.

“I–” You started, before flopping your arms to the side in defeat. You looked at the ground before looking back at him.

“I’m sorry.” You offered pathetically. You saw his eyes twitch — clearly not believing the word you gave out. “I did a stupid stunt. I’m sorry, Ghost.”

“Cobra!” You heard him scream at you, demanding you to turn back and return to your hidden spot. “Cobra! Get your bloody ass out of there!”

Indeed, Ghost ran a tight mission. But when it came out of line, he got extremely serious and violent.

“Keep them off my trail!” You yelled at the radio, hearing Soap curse on the other end. You fired your gun, emptying bullet after bullet into their skulls with near-perfect aim.

Although, without moving a muscle, you could hear his footsteps — thundering right behind you.

Before you knew it, you were pulled away into a random room with a very angry Simon. Legs growing in pain and a yelling leader in your face;

You were simply doing your job, right?

“Yet, you didn’t back out.” He growled, pointing a finger in your face harshly. “You could’ve died!”

“But I didn’t.” You sneered back. “You should be grateful I took them down — killed them all before they killed the hostages!”

“Shut it.” He snapped.

“Really? Why should I? I mean—” You scoffed, “Your the one who decided to come and grab me, push me away when I was alright!” You growled, poking a finger into his chest.

“Then fucking listen. It’s my job to make sure you’re breathing.”

“Really?” You ushered. “Cause if I didn’t do that, there would have been a bullet between all of their eyes!”

Suddenly, you were forced against the wall, watching his gaze tighten and his tattooed arm being pushed up against your neck. You jumped at the loud bang in your ears, mouth going dry.

You could practically hear Simon’s heartbeat — flaming in waves like lava rushing over land.

Your blood was boiling. Fists and legs tingling in frustration. Eyes narrowing in.

“I’m not scared of you, Simon,” You answered, “Wanna hit me? Don’t be a bitch about it.”

You stared into his eyes, hearing him breathe heavily before feeling his arm release you, resting right beside him. “You need to understand that you should come first.”

Your chest heaved, head pounding in adrenaline and annoyance.

“Then, we have two different views.” You rasped. Watching him lean back, his eyes staring into your soul. “My job is protecting people. And I’m damn good at it, so I’m not gonna stand here and let you shit me down.”

You heard him scoff. “Doing it stupidly isn’t protecting people.”

“Then why are you here, Simon?” You snarled, leaning forward to him. Though, you didn’t see him flinch or move an inch. Rather than letting you challenge him by getting in his personal space.

“You’re on some real thin ice, Cobra” He snapped.

You snickered, digging a finger at his chest. “Or what? You gonna hit me, L.T.? Go ahead, I’d love to see you try.”

“You don’t see it, do you?” He angrily blurted out.

“Wha–”

He gripped your shoulders, forcing you to make direct eye contact with him. “You can congratulate yourself all you want. But you need to realize the team almost — I… almost lost you”

You couldn’t think, nor anticipate his next move. What did he mean by that damn sentence?

But when his hand on your shoulder was removed, rolling his mask upward, and revealing his scarred face. You were hotly flustered and surprised.

His chapped lips — scarred nose, eyebrows, and greased smoked paint around his eyes. His soulless, brown-marked eyes were staring down at you. Hell, even his browned hair was somehow styled and perfectly cleaned. What the actual fuck.

He raised an eyebrow at your flustered face, “Cat got your tongue?”

His other hand gripped your jaw, thumb caressing your chin, pulling you into a hypnotic haze.

Pulling his face closer to yours, you didn’t expect to see or feel his skin — his stubbled jaw, his lips against yours, swallowing your fury.

He tasted sweet, almost too sweet for an angry and dangerous man.

Moaning into the kiss, you felt a smirking plaster against his face. Fuckin’ teaser.

You couldn’t breathe — think properly by his addictive smell and taste. His scent was calming, a calm that wasn’t needed now.

His free hand grabbed your side, pulling you closer into the touched makeout, making you feel his chest heave into yours. Slowly, your hand raised, dragging your fingertips into his slick and semi-wet hair, locking them between your fingers.

Kissing him tenderly, you felt him stiffen — slightly unsure how to proceed with this… ‘debrief’

But, he welcomed it a second later, grasping your jaw as his tongue slipped into your mouth, exploring your cavern. Earning a small whine, he departed himself from you with a trail of saliva.

Pulling away, you both looked like a mess; the two of you acted like you had an intense wrestling match, with hair slightly messed up, ragged breathing, and shaky gasps that certainly would be heard from outside the room.

Suddenly, Ghost grabs you, pulling you into his chest as your head rested against him, hearing his pounding heart and heavy breathing.

“I know you’re bloody good at your job. Jus’... never fucking do that again.”

You narrowed your eyes, feeling butterflies form in your stomach. “Didn't expect you to love me.”

You heard him mumble something, but from the shift on his feet, you already knew the answer.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

—

My masterlist || Reblogs, comments, and likes are very much appreciated!! Stay well!!

Content belongs to ©️ yandere-kokeshi only.

[heartlilith]

Moon Signs and Song Lyrics

Leo Moon: White Tee - Lil Peep

"I used to think I love you, now I know it ain't true

Now I know it's not you, 50 on my boxers

B**** I know you see me, shinin' in my white tee, it's easy

I make it look easy, believe me, we Gucci"

Leo moons are bright beams of light and they're hard to not notice. I swear any Leo placement lights up a room without even meaning to. Leo moons have this aura of confidence, even if they're insecure you would never know. Especially after a break up or being done dirty by someone, they can pull this confidence out of a hat like a magician and make you regret losing them. They are the epitome of "post break up revenge", they make being beautiful look easy. When their friends or loved ones are heartbroken or just having an off day, Leo moons are the ones that build them back up again. Their light is contagious and people that have lost them will definitely feel the hole they leave behind.

Virgo Moon: Antartica - $uicideboy$

"Get the f*** away from me, I hate all of you faithfully,

this world was never made for me

Thankfully, I'm trained to see

Past all the lies, the ranks, the scenes"

Virgo moons are too good for this world. They are so selfless and will put themselves last if it means helping someone else out. Doing favors for people and being a shoulder to lean on distracts them from their own problems and makes them feel good about themselves; the fact that they can turn someones' day around is everything to them. Unfortunately, this can lead them to being taken advantage of. There is only so much a Virgo Moon can handle before they lose their cool. They see past people's bullshit and manipulation and will not be there for you after they sense that their being walked all over. Like Leo moon, you'll feel the absence of their presence and only then will you realize what you lost.

Libra Moon: 95 - Pouya

"You must be tired baby, 'cause you've been runnin' through my mind

I can't keep quiet baby, 'cause I've been burnin' deep inside,

I'm runnin' out of time, maybe you can fill my void

If not, keep tryin' baby, and never leave me alone"

Libra moons love love, it's no secret. They feel at their best when they have a partner they can experience everything with. Being ruled by Venus, they don't mind the corny type of love, they want compliments and they want to know that they're number 1. Unfortunately, the negative side is that they struggle with being single; they feel less secure without a partner. They want someone to come home to, to fill their "void" of something missing. It's so important for Libra moons to experience things with someone they love even as simple as giving their partner a bite of food, they want to share their happy moments.

Scorpio Moon: 5 Grand 8 to 1 -$uicideboy$

"I get caught up in my thoughts and I can't think right,

Caught up in the nightmare so I don't sleep right,

I just want them to to treat me like they used to,

I just want something real that I'm used to"

Scorpio moon natives can experience a lot of emotional ups and downs because they feel everything very intensely. A lot of transformative shifts can take place within them and around them, which effects their mental health greatly. I chose this song and these lyrics because Scorpio moon natives want something constant in a life full of chaos. They need an anchor - someone they love and trust. With a ride or die type of love, Scorpio moon natives can make it through anything.

Sagittarius Moon: Psycho Pass - Xavier Wulf

"I burn incense 'cause my brain like the smell

She get a whiff and thought it was a spell,

I ain't say come, but she at the hotel"

Sagittarius moons might not see it, but everyone else does. You're so cool, so nonchalant, cool without trying to be cool. You're the friend that everyone wants around because you're chill, funny, and a good time. In terms of love, you attract people with this attitude. You don't worry too much, you don't take things too seriously and I feel like this makes people want you more. Like fans following around a celebrity. People want to be where you are, they want to know what you're doing and do it with you. It's giving starstruck.

Capricorn Moon: Five Six - Pouya

"Yeah, I don't need nobody help but I feel like I'm dyin',

Beggin' for someone to pick me up and keep me thrivin'

If I said I love myself, I know I would be lyin'"

Capricorn Moon babies put on a tough exterior but what they really need is a shoulder to lean on. It's true that they're independent and self sufficient but to a fault. They don't like to ask for help or seem "weak" in anyway. They have a problem with being vulnerable with their emotions but they're the first person their loved ones call when they need to someone to talk to. Capricorn moons are the most hardworking people you will ever meet and it's not uncommon for them to throw themselves into work to avoid what's going on below the surface. Although this is an unhealthy coping mechanism, it often guarantees financial success. It's too bad money can't buy self-love.

Aquarius Moon: After Midnight - Blink 182

"We'll stagger home after midnight, sleep arm in arm in the stairwell,

we'll fall apart on the weekend, these nights go on and on and on"

Aquarius moons love a good time. They like feeling a rush of adrenaline and feeling like they're really living. You know when you're really interested in something you're doing and all of a sudden 3 hours pass by like 5 minutes? This feeling describes Aquarius moons perfectly. They want to be fully immersed into something they love and to be in the moment. They get a bad rep for being "cold" and "emotionless" but this isn't true, they just want a best friend as a lover first and foremost. They want to be with someone that shares their passions so that both of them can have that "partner in crime" type of love. They want someone that will let loose and be spontaneous with them.

Pisces Moon: Not Even Ghosts Are This Empty - $uicideboy$

"I'll tell you a secret, something they don't teach you in your temple

The gods envy us, they envy us because we're mortal

'Cause any moment might be our last

Everything's more beautiful because we're doomed"

Pisces moon natives have an intuitive grasp of philosophical and spiritual concepts. This placement soaks up energies in their environment like a sponge. Pisces moon thrives when they feel in touch with something greater than themselves. This placement shares a thin veil with the spiritual realm and can often experience psychic dreams and downloads. They are the true romantics of the zodiac and often see things with rose-colored glasses. This gives them the ability to see the beauty in the world around them and they can convince others to see it too.

[eisforeidolon]

Question: I want to know what was your most favorite unscripted scene or your least favorite scripted scene or moment?

Jared: Oh wow. Great question. I'm thinking about a moment where -

Jensen: Wait, let me guess - I punched you?

Jared: Yep, where Sam gets possessed by the Meg demon and finally gets exorcised, but he had been like, kinda torturing Dean? And so Dean reaches over, after Sam is back to Sam, like 'What happened?' and just punches him? That was in season two, Jesus.

Jensen: That wasn't scripted.

Jared: That wasn't scripted. There's so much that wasn't necessarily scripted, you know? Certain moments - one of my least favorite things, maybe my least favorite thing that any writer can put into a script? Is like, Dean cries, Sam breaks down, Dean tears up, Sam and you know, whatever, do this. 'Cause there were so many, if you were to go through all of the scenes of Supernatural, which there are many? And then watch the episodes, rarely was there a sequence where it was like they get emotional where we did and there was so many where they don't even mention that we get emotional, but you just feel it. You're just there and you're like - I hate it where it's like, this is where I'm supposed to cry [derisive noise]. 'Cause sometimes you don't even know, you'll go through a scene and you'll go, like, oh shit, like, that's hittin' deep. And it's not because it's scripted. So offhand, God -

Jensen: I think there's a lot of moments, especially some of the emotional moments. One comes to mind, which is the barn scene -

Audience: Which one?

Jensen: [slightly incredulous tone] Which one?

Jared: The most recent one.

Jensen: Yeah.

Jared: Genius.

Jensen: Where I'd be interested to go back and look - and I can't remember if - maybe they didn't use it, go back and read that scene on the script and see how word for word it was on the performance. Because I feel like there were takes where I know I would maybe repeat myself, or I would say some things that I thought were, you know, dove into the emotion even more. And it wasn't something I'd planned, it's just like - felt it, you just feel something and if - when you've worked with somebody for so long, and you're so comfortable with the character, and you know the story so well, you can be available for those things to hit and you can act on them, and you can say those words, and you can say something that just makes it feel more real. And I feel like we did that in that scene, there was some dialogue that maybe was added -

Jared: It's a lot. I know, yeah.

Jensen: or massaged, or you know.

Jared: I don't know if it was ever added to a revision, or if we just did it, but the callback of, like, I can't do this alone, yes you can, well I don't want to? It's the exact same words that Dean said to Sam and vice versa. So there was stuff that wasn't scripted initially - and that goes back to an earlier question, about if there's stuff like Jensen do whatever you want. Like the feeling of that scene was like, here guys, we know this intense -

Jensen: Here's the template.

Jared: here's the template, make it y'all's. Like, y'all know Sam and Dean more than anybody ever will, you make it yours. And so he and I had a couple months because then COVID happened, the pandemic, and so we made it ours. It was so hard to rehearse that scene.

Jensen: Well, even the - like it was scripted where I was on the ground. [Jared: Yeah.] And Jared comes up and kind of cradles me and I'm, you know, like, effectively dying in his arms.

Jared: Which would have been so long to try and carry your ass.

Jensen: And I just felt really strongly, and I've told this story before, and I went to Bob Singer, who directed that episode, I went to him a couple days prior just thinking about that scene, because it was a monster, and it was looming. And I just - it didn't feel right, to die laying down. And I said, hey, is there any way - because they were still building the set - I was like, is there any way, can we figure out a way for me to die on my feet? And Bob was like, [curmudgeonly voice] how the hell are you gonna do that? Who dies on their feet? And I'm like, Dean Winchester dies on his feet. And he made it work brilliantly, because he came, I think he came up with the idea that the impalement was so severe that if you removed it - and then we had to add that dialogue in, so it made me stay there on my feet and I think it was just such a much more powerful visual, to see these two brothers face to face in that moment. And so, you know, that was certainly one big thing that was totally unscripted that I fought for and I'm really happy I did, because -

Jared: Hell yes.

Jensen: I think it just made that scene that much more powerful.

Jared: Also I'm grinning to myself because I've watched a lot of the 15x20 reaction videos, the finale? And there's some really savvy tv viewers out there who've seen a lot of different television shows, a lot of different episodes of them. And you'll watch some and they'll be like, 'Oh, yeah, oh Sam's takin' on the big guy, oh yeah take that blah blah blah!' And then when Dean goes to the post and then runs out where it shows, they'll be like, 'Yeah - oh no. Oh c'mon now, no no no, they just showed that for too long - Oh shit! And then, like, turn it off because I'm crying.

Jensen: I still love the fact that the stunt guy, who is awesome, he's like ex-military, giant, one of the biggest guys we've ever had on our show, his name was Heidi. And he killed Dean Winchester [laughs]. But he's an awesome guy and in fact I was just in Vancouver and working with Jesse and Jesse and Heidi are like super close buds now, so it was good to kinda reminisce with those guys a little bit.

[rayd3nnn]

Hello! (If your ok and comfortable with this)

Could you write something angsty with like phantom and one of the ghouls of your choice doing the deed and like they are degrading him and he gets in his head and thinks it's real and is no longer enjoying himself but doesn't want to Safeword because he's scared of angering/disappointing the other? But they eventually find out? Maybe some comfort at the end? It can be any ghoul, but I would probably recommend either dew or Swiss. :)

Abso-fucking-lutely. Thank you so, so, so, so much for your ask! @madilizon

Trigger warnings: smut (not the entire fic.), angst, usage of safeword (later on), comfort, degradation, slight choking, please let me know if I missed any!

Characters: Dewdrop, Phantom, mentions of Swiss (one or two)

Pairing: Dewdrop/Phantom.

Below the cut if you will <3

Purple.

Loud moans and grunts could be heard from within Dewdrop’s bedroom. Phantom lying on his stomach, doggy style with his face shoved into the pillows as Dewdrop rails into his ass mercilessly. Tears of pleasure streamed down Phantom’s beautiful face as he gripped onto the sheets and his claws dug holes into them accidentally. “Fuck!” Phantom yelped as Dewdrop’s hand made harsh impact on his ass. “You like that? Hm?” Dewdrop asked, in a teasing voice as his hand wrapped around Phantoms neck, pulling his head upwards so his moans and cries could be heard louder.

“Yea that���s it, let them hear you. Let them hear you moan for me like the whore you are.” Dewdrop grunted as his thrusts grew more intense, his hand going to grip onto Phantom’s hair and tug on it, lifting his head even further up as he applies slight pressure to his neck, not enough to hurt him. But just enough to cause slight pressure to his throat. “Yea, take it, take it like the slut you are. Swiss was right about you and your pretty little hole.” Dew said as he landed yet another harsh slap to Phantoms ass, Phantom yelped in pleasure, he loved being degraded during intercourse. Except his loud moans and cries suddenly turned into silent grunts and small breathy moans as thoughts had started to swirl around in his mind.

“Did you hear him? They all talk about how much of a whore you are.”

“Disgusting. Letting anyone rail you like that?”

“Not even Swiss is that bad…yikes.”

“Your just a sex toy for them. A whore, slut.”

Phantoms thoughts got to him as his tears were no longer tears of pleasure, but tears of sadness and overwhelmed emotions. He wasn’t enjoying himself anymore like he was merely moments ago. His hard dick turned soft, rubbing against the mattress. He wanted to call the safeword, stop the scene and just take a breath, calm himself down and talk to Dew about toning down the degradation just a little bit. But he didn’t wanna upset Dew, didn’t wanna mess up what they had and make him hate him again. So he stayed silent, letting Dew enjoy himself. He laid there as his thoughts swirled, tears still streaming down his face before he felt Dewdrops thrusts slow down and come to a sudden and abrupt stop. He felt a rough hand softly caress the arch in his back, and a tap to his cheek. “Hey, hey bat. Are you okay?” He heard Dew ask, his ears flicking as he looked up. Phantom looked at Dew and noticed the genuine concern in his usually mad face.

“Phantom, do you need to stop? Did you forget the safeword?” Dewdrop asked, softly caressing the Quintessence Ghoul’s back.

“…purple” Phantom said softly, sniffling. Dew heard clearly and immediately pulled out of Phantom. “Bug, what happened did I hurt you?” He asked as he put his pants and boxers back on, his tail wrapping around his leg as he sat on the bed. Phantom shook his head. “N-no I just…my thoughts got to me when you were- degrading me and I just…I don’t know.” Phantom tried to explain, Dewdrop understanding. There were times even Dew felt the degradation was too much for him during sex. “Hey, no no it’s okay bug, I understand. There are times when Swiss degrades me and it gets too much.” He starts, before asking. “Do you want help putting your clothes back on bat?”. Phantom nodded his head softly before muttering a small “..please?” Dew nodded and grabbed Phantoms pants and boxers, softly putting them on him and sitting back down.

“Do you want cuddles?” He asked, looking down at the Quintessence Ghoul. Phantom could only muster up a quick nod, Dew immediately laid down and wrapped the slightly taller ghoul into his arms, radiating small heat waves as a comforting touch. “Can you promise me something bug?” He asked. Phantom let out a chirp in response. “I need you to call the safeword if anyone makes you uncomfortable or if anything gets too much during sex. No matter who it is okay?” Dew said as he played with Phantoms hair, phantoms tail wrapping around Dew’s thigh and tail. He nodded. “Okay…” he said sleepily.

“Tired Quint?” He asked. Phantom nodded in response. “It’s alright, go to sleep. We can talk about this more tomorrow, alright?” Dew said, Phantom once more, slightly nodding in response before his breathing relaxed. Indicating he’d fallen asleep. “Goodnight Bug..” Dew whispered, kissing his forehead before falling asleep himself.

[elijahslittleprincess]

A song from my heart

Elijah mikaelson x reader

~You catch Elijah playing piano for you~

It was late in the afternoon when you came back to the Mikaelson mansion today. You usually never get home later than seven, but today your boss had asked you to stay for extra hours and you accepted. You wondered what Elijah had indulged in while you were absent today. Did Niklaus cause trouble again, or maybe it was Damon and Stephen's time to do something to annoy your original.

You had no way of knowing, but when you opened the front door and came in to hear piano notes in the air, your mind stopped and you breathed shakily. It was honestly quite hard to recall the last time you heard the piano playing in the mansion...Elijah had stopped for almost three years by now and you had to admit missing it quite badly.

To avoid startling him and disrupting his playing, you entered the room as quietly as possible. Slowly, you made your way to the living room and stopped just inside the doorframe. There, you saw his handsome and perfect self seated at the Steinway piano, seemingly unaware of your arrival.

A sweet and happy smile crept on your pinkish lips at the scene, it felt just right to see him like this again and you let your head lay gently against the wooden frame of the large door, just enjoying the view.

Initially, your partner was experimenting with different notes without a clear direction. It was captivating to witness their process of attempting to produce a unified and melodious sound. Despite your curiosity about the final outcome, you refrained from interrupting and potentially hindering their creative process. Instead, you peacefully watched and admired him as he worked. After some time had passed, you came to the realization that your decision had been a wise one, since Elijah start playing the piece he had crafted during your observation for the first time in your presence.

With his eyes closed, he appeared to be playing solely based on the emotions conveyed through his fingertips. The composition he had created was nothing short of a masterpiece - a work of art that left you speechless, with your hand covering your mouth to suppress any sounds that might escape. As you watched Elijah play, a wave of intense emotion washed over you, causing tears to stream down your face. His melodies were so powerful that you found yourself at a loss for words or coherent thoughts. But at that moment, you realized that it didn't matter - what was important was the profound emotional response his music had evoked within you.

You harbor a deep and profound love for your vampire, you love and cherish every single aspect of his being. Elijah was simply the focal point of your universe and you felt an incredible sense of satisfaction being his significant other. As he remains lost in his musical world, you surreptitiously dab away your tears, unable to contain your emotions, and then slowly made your way to him, compelled by an irresistible urge to be closer.

You placed a soft and gentle hand on your husband's shoulder from behind, coming within a centimeter of his body. He tensed up immediately and stopped playing, clearly taken aback by your surprise touch. A small giggle escaped your lips before you kissed his neck tenderly to reassure him.

"It's ok, it's just me Lijah."

Upon hearing your voice, Elijah visibly relaxed, his tense posture softening. The gentle kisses you planted on his neck had a soothing effect on his body, and he slowly pivoted in his piano chair to face you. A sweet smile graced his lips, and his eyes sparkled with adoration and desire as he gazed upon you.

"Well hello sweetheart, what a pleasure to see you finally home."

Elijah spoke with his deep, masculine voice that had the power to make you feel weak in the knees. As he conversed with you, he brought you closer to him and settled you onto his lap, enveloping your waist in his firm embrace.

As he spoke and brought you closer, your face got flustered and you gently touched his cheek with your hand to caress it. A tender and charming smile spread across your face as you gazed at him with great love and loyalty. Elijah was just so extremely attractive and you couldn't resist the urge to kiss him when he looked at you with such intensity. So this is exactly what you did, bringing your lips to his softly to give him a sweet and delicate kiss. The both of you moaned at the contact and he pressed you even more to him feeling the heaviness of your absence all day.

When you both separated from each other after a good reminder of what you both missed so much today, Elijah smirked happily and started playing with your hair, his eyes looking deeply into yours.

"Well, I certainly missed that during the day my perfect princess. "

He said, causing you to chuckle happily, feeling a sense of warmth and pure love knowing that he missed you too. It was just so comforting to know that you weren't alone in this situation.

As you still lay gently on his lap, you decided that since he was playing with your hair, you'd do too. So you moved the hand of yours that was previously on his cheek to his perfectly styled brown hair and stroke your fingers in them, feeling happy and playful to make them a little less perfect.

"I missed it quite badly too Eli. Yet, I'll have to admit that hearing you play piano is something that I missed even more."

You gently conveyed your message to him with a cute smile, followed by a quick kiss on his lips.

Your vampire partner on his side, chuckles lovingly at you, finding your words and ministration terribly sweet and adorable.

"Oh, you do my perfect little princess, well to be totally honest darling, I've dedicated this one for you."

Elijah said with a bright and handsome smile that brought a blush back on your cheeks right away. He kissed both of your cheeks affectionately then before placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"I thought about you and your beautiful smiles and shining eyes when you look at me. The way that you speak my name and tell me how much you love me my darling. The melody came without an effort. How could it not when I have a muse like you."

Elijah finished with a lovesick expression on and a sweet passionate smile. It was so deep and so intense to hear him say this to you. It felt good and your heart was bursting within your chest. Honestly words were missing you to express how much you loved him and felt good right now. The only thing that actually seemed to be in your mind and that you manage to say to him was a request to heart your song again.

"Can you play it again for me Lijah?"

Your voice was soft and delicate and it sounded almost like a plea when you asked him to play your song again. Your eyes were sparkling like little comets in the sky and you looked deeply into Elijah's hazelnut pupil.

Your husband's hand came to your cheek gently after your request, a huge satisfied and pleased smile on his lips as he heard you. How could he resist any request you had really? You were his pretty little angel and the most important thing in his life, he would do anything from you.

Without a second tough, Elijah gently turned back to face the piano with you still in his arms. After that, he kissed your neck gently and let his head fall on your shoulder to see the piano adequately. When he was finally placed and settled, his fingers grazed on the notes and he started playing your song again. The only difference however this time, was that he seemingly included details and side part that wasn't there the first time around. The music sounded like the most beautiful of symphony, like a coral of angels. You were absolutely sure that it was the most beautiful thing you've ever heard in your entire life.

You closed your eyes and just let yourself be overwhelm by the emotions and feelings it makes you feel. Your heart was beating strongly and your eyes were shedding happy tears again your back pressing on Elijah's chest even more.

After a little while, his fingers on the notes stopped playing and you felt your heart cry a bit at the loss of music again. Yet, you moved your small and delicate fingers in his as he brought them back around you and tighten them around his. You faced each other again now that he wasn't playing anymore and a deep and powerful love showed in your eyes for him. You laid your forehead fall on his gently, a gentle sigh of pure bliss and happiness leaving your lips.

I love you Elijah Mikaelson...

Elijah smiled affectionately back at you and kissed both your cheek, then he proceed to do the same with your lips.

And I love you my perfect princess.

The pair of you stayed against each other like this for a while, just basking in the love and incommensurable joy you felt with bleach other close. Then, with a soft and gentle voice you asked him something while caressing his cheek again.

Would you teach me to play one day?

Elijah looked at you surprise at first by your demand but quickly, the surprise change to a joy and happiness that brought butterflies in your stomach. God he looked so handsome. His smile was the prettiest thing in the whole world.

Of course I will my love, whatever you want. We have all eternity.

And he was right...you both had eternity to love and cherish each other, what you had right now was only the start of a long and perfect millennia together.

[azriel-scum]

It Wasn't Supposed to be This Way Part 3

Warnings: domestic abuse, mentions of sexual abuse and semi-graphic scene toward the end. Please do not read if this will trigger you!

Elara was shaking and trying very hard to control her breathing.

It wasn't just that Merikh had been in her face, gripping her harshly, dangerously close to recreating the events of the night before.

It wasn't just that Azriel had potentially discovered what was going on before she could fix it herself.

It was the intense feeling in her chest. The intense wave of shock and anxiety that had slammed into her. She had never felt emotions that intensely before, not even on Merikh's worst nights.

Azriel continued to stand there.

With restless and shaking hands she gathered up the scattered papers and books on her desk, having no idea if she actually needed any of it.

Azriel was still just standing there.

"Azriel, did you need something?" Her attempt at being composed came out breathy and rushed.

Still speechless, he just stood there. Opened his mouth. Closed it. And then settled on just shaking his head.

She picked up her haphazard pile of papers and made toward the door.

Azriel stepped to the side, out of the doorway and found his voice.

"I think Cassian wanted to discuss having his soldiers doing some city patrol shifts. He's upstairs."

Elara nodded her head and walked out the door. Taking two steps down the hallway before Azriel speaks again.

"El -" She paused in the hallway but didn't turn around.

Before he could finish, shouting erupts from down the hall.

Merikh, distraught and furious, screaming. She can't see him, but she knows it's him. Would recognize that kind of shouting anywhere, from her nightmares, from the drunken nights, from the daylight when he would track her down in the city.

Rhsyand. He was screaming at Rhysand. This couldn't be happening, someone she had brought around, someone she had gotten a job was screaming at the High Lord.

He was screaming at Rhysand; the High Lord was deathly silent.

For Elara, everything went black. The shouting was more than just yelling between two men. It triggered in her a reaction like nothing else in her life.

A warrior, a female who had seen unfathomable tragedy; had seen death occur in such unnatural, unimaginable ways over and over and over again - had even caused it by her own hands. As a young female, she'd seen abuse that was indescribable, memories that would play in a trance over and over again as she tried to sleep. Yet, none of those things triggered a reaction in her like the one she was having in this moment.

Elara had barely made it out of the doorway when the yelling started, now her body was frozen and none of her senses were working.

Azriel appeared next to her. "El maybe we should -" he reached out a hand to usher her back into the office, but Elara stuck out a stiff arm, commanding him to stay back.

A wave of nausea had overcome her and it was taking everything in her to not gag in front of Azriel. Gods how embarrassing would that be.

Elara had tried so hard to keep her interactions with the inner circle strictly business. She would consider all of them her friends, her closest confidants when it came to work, when it came to the battle field, but when it came to her personal life, she didn't typically factor them at all. It was a defense mechanism, a way to shield herself, and her heart, from being hurt.

Rhysand was the closest thing she had to an older sibling, he had saved her life and her family, but even still they rarely had conversations that didn't revolve around work. He was busy and she was happy to keep her personal life outside of his radar.

If you never have anything, you can never lose anything.

Elara had already lost so much in her life and felt the impending doom of losing her mother day in and day out. Every single day she mourned the loss of someone who was still here and every single day she worried about the safety of her siblings. And every single day she worried about the safety of the citizens of Velaris. There was nothing else she could attach her heart to.

And so she ran to the bathroom. One for the impending nausea and two for the escape of anyone who cared for her, who wanted to be a friend.

Her knees hit the tile and her chest hit the front of the toilet. As she kneeled on the floor and wretched, it was the loneliest she had ever felt in her life.

Elara leaned back against the door, wiping her mouth with her sleeve. No one had followed her to the bathroom, no one had knocked on the door. She assumed Azriel knew of her intense desire to be left alone and with all the commotion downstairs she was the last person on anyone's mind.

She couldn't stop thinking about that feeling in her chest. The intensity of it, the unfamiliarity.

Finally, she stood up on shaky legs, picking up her papers and notes that were strewn across the floor and walked out of the bathroom. The hallway outside her office was empty and the shouting had stopped. She walked toward the window, hoping to simply fly out of the house undetected - no such luck.

From around the corner, Rhys walked toward Elara, looking concerned. He looked at her, his eyes asking if she was okay. She gave a soft nod.

Silently she said to Rhys. I'll be back tomorrow, Do you need anything before then?

Before he could respond, Merikh came up behind Rhys, Azriel and Cassian quickly following behind him. Elara made brief eye contact with Merikh and that feeling from her chest returned. Before, her anxiety had covered the feeling that she wasn't able to discern the feeling, but now she knew exactly what it was. A small tug, right where her heart lays.

No.

This had to be some awful horrible mistake, some kind of cosmic mistake.

Maybe she was wrong, maybe this wasn't the mating bond. After all, how would she even know what it felt like?

Only from hearing it be described for hundreds of years of her life.

It wasn't supposed to be this way.

Merikh stopped in front of her. Cassian and Azriel were still standing behind him looking weary of his actions and Rhys just watched him apprehensively.

Elara had to keep reminding herself that they didn't know, they didn't know that he was violent with her, maybe Azriel was suspicious, but she could easily dispel that. In the seconds that she stood staring at Merikh, she reimagined her entire life. No one knew how horrible he had been to her, she could start out with him on a fresh slate. Surely the mating instinct would kick in for him and he would be protective of her, not want to hurt her anymore. This could be good for him, it could give him the purpose for his life that he's been searching for. They could be happy together, Elara thought. They weren't so different after all, they had been through a lot in their lives and neither one of them coped especially well, but surely surely there was a reason for this bond from the Mother.

She searched his eyes, trying to see if the bond had snapped for him too. The only thing she saw in him was anxiety.

"Lara I - I wanted to apologize for earlier. I - I shouldn't have talked about you getting r- attacked in Illyria and -"

Is he always this insufferable? The words came into her mind from Rhysand and she had to push her lips together to smother her reaction and keep her face neutral. It was abundantly clear that the shouting match had ended in Rhys forcing him to apologize.

Merikh stumbled through the rest of his apology, nothing more than a disjointed handful of words that didn't go together. Elara said nothing when he was done speaking just nodded her head once. Even though Rhys had put him up to this, maybe this could be the start of the clean slate she so desperately wanted. With her mate.

She winnows them down to the streets out the House of Wind and they walk home together. They don't hold hands, there's some tension, but Elara thinks maybe things will be okay. They chat easily, nothing serious, but they cover all of the small talk. As they near their apartment, he ventures to ask about her mother and siblings.

Elara tenses, she knows that out of all the conversations they could have, this one is probably the most volatile. For once though, she lets herself take a breath and relax. If she doesn't get defensive, maybe he won't either.

"I saw them, they're doing well. Enny and Vira are doing well in school, I'm very proud of them."

Merikh nods, but doesn't add anything and Elara thinks she's okay with him listening and not always having to respond.

Over the next few days, there's still some nervousness, they both seem apprehensive toward each other, as if they are a new couple that's just starting to date. Elara tries to work out if Merikh feels anything of the bond on his end, but there's been nothing to suggest that he had.

A couple weeks passed and Elara couldn't remember the last time she felt a tug in her chest. Was this how things were supposed to be? You get comfortable enough with your mate and things just get easier? Maybe your less aware of the bond, don't feel it everyday.

Elara had been busy with work over the last few weeks and it seemed that so was Merikh. They rarely crossed paths with each other, but when they did Merikh had been...good. He had made her dinner twice, they had sat on the couch together and chatted easily, they laid in bed together. It had been a very long time since they had been intimate together, but Merikh had started to initiate; in the past by the time Elara had gotten home Merikh would already be drunk or passed out, but he had been drinking less and was much more present. Being intimate with him was...fine. It wasn't something she loved doing, but she didn't hate it either. They didn't talk about work, or her mother or anything else of importance, but they also hadn't fought. Things were unremarkable, but they weren't bad. This was the person that the universe had chosen for her and maybe, just maybe, this is how things were supposed to be.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today, Elara woke up sore.

She had bruises on her waist and sides from Merikh gripping her last night.

She hadn't said no last night.

She had agreed to be with him, but she hadn't known how excited he was going to get.

Maybe these bruises are okay, proof that he loves her, proof that they had made love.

They were not bruises borne from violence or aggression, but were they from love?

Elara wasn't sure.

She spent her morning making her rounds through the city. Stopping in and talking to shop owners, and visiting the school. Around mid morning she headed back to the training rings at the house of wind. Sometimes, she wasn't in the mood to train with others and preferred to work out by herself.

On her way to the rings, Elara was feeling a high of gratitude and happiness. How very lucky she was to be leading this city, to be trusted with the wellbeing of its citizen and the security of its borders. How very lucky she was to have had a second lease on life, but this was the promise of Velaris. A safe haven, a paradise, a place of redemption.

She flew up to the rings, landed gracefully and then promptly got to work.

The bruises made it hard to do any kind of core workout, but she did her best. The sweat and endorphins from lifting weights and doing exercises freed her mind and released her of the crippling anxiety.

In the middle of a bench pass, Cassian suddenly appears and is pulling the bar up from Elara's chest and racking it.

"I didn't need your help." She sits up on the bench and turns around to see the Illyrian general smirking.

"I know. I want to spar."

Sighing, she stood and looked at him to assess how serious he was being. He raised his eyebrows in a challenge, daring her to say no. Elara was in no shape to spar and she knew it. On a regular day, she could easily give Cassian a run for his money, but today she was far too fragile to move the way she needed to.

"I need to make sure our governess can still keep the city safe." He was smiling like a cat, knowing he gave a challenge she couldn't possibly say no to.

And then they were in the ring, a flurry of punches, ducking and defensive stances. Elara's mid section was on fire, but the thrill and adrenaline from the fight made her forget everything. She was completely dialed in until there was that feeling in her chest again. A tug on the bond. She hadn't felt it in weeks and it sent her heart into her stomach. Gasping, she lost control of her stance and Cassian landed a hit on her, squarely in her abdomen. She stumbled back, falling into the corner. The breath was completely knocked out of her, her chest and lungs were burning.

"Shit El. Are you okay?"

Elara couldn't catch her breath and it was making her start to panic. Between the sudden tug in her chest that she hadn't expected to the all the sensitive areas of her bruises flaring up, the punch Cassian had landed almost felt like an afterthought.

And now she hyperventilating and couldn't make eye contact with Cassian. This was embarrassing. She was so unable to be loved that she couldn't even handle the feeling of the bond, had a panic attack every time she was reminded of its presence.

He kneeled down in front of her and put his hands on her shoulders.

"El, you've got to breathe. Deep breaths."

Slowly, with the soothing sounds of his voice she calmed down.

"Sorry, Cass. I've just been feeling off today, I think I might be getting sick or someth-"

"El," he's looking right into her eyes and it feels so vulnerable and she knows she has to get out of here.

"El, what's going on?" His eyes had travelled down to her waist, where her shirt had ridden up. Following his line of sight, Elara knows she has to make a decision. Does everything about Merikh unravel right here, or does she tell Cassian an embarassing half truth about where the bruises came from.

It was a no brainer.

"Rough training session last night." It was meant to come out as a joke, but the delivery was half-hearted and Cassian doesn't react in the slightest, just continues looking at her.

Finally, he helps her stand up. She's leaning on him heavily and still trying her best to take deep breaths. She turns around and flinches slightly when she sees Azriel is standing in the doorway of the training rings.

When had he gotten here? How much had he seen?

"Cass, we have to go for a meeting with Devlon." He doesn't say anything to Elara, but catches her eyes for a moment before looking back to Cassian.

The general looked reluctant to leave Elara, but they had a meeting and Azriel was waiting.

Quickly, she took her out. "I'll see the both of you later, have a good meeting." She winnows away before she can even register either of their reactions.

Elara ends the workday in her office, handling some correspondences and then meeting with Sylas about visiting Windhaven. They had identified the citizen of Velaris that defected out to the rogue camp, a young male named Taron. Despite everything, Elara felt empathy for him; he seemed lost, like he was searching for a purpose, she only hoped sense could be talked into him.

After her meeting with Sylas, she'd finishing up some paperwork, slowly, because she dreads going home to Merikh right now more than anything else. A note appears on top of her paperwork in Rhy's handwriting.

My office please, when you can.

After a few deep breaths, she winnowed down the hall and into his office. Rhysand was sitting at his desk, leaned back in his chair with a glass of bourbon. It wasn't unusual for him to end his day with a drink, and Elara knew Rhysand was a good male, but seeing him with the drink put her on edge. It felt too similar to what she been coming home to for the last few years.

He gestured to the seat.

She sat.

The nerves building, logically she knew he probably just wanted to talk about work, but there had been too many close calls recently and the risk of the truth coming out felt far too eminent.

"How are you feeling about your trip to Windhaven?"

"I feel good, Sylas and I finalized our plans today. I'm not excited to be back at the camp, but I know it's necessary."

He nods his head, but doesn't say anything else. Elara refuses to fill the silence.

"I'm concerned about this wayward group in Windhaven, but I'm more concerned about any of their members being in Velaris." Rhys finally says.

"Me as well, I've been working with Cassian to have more patrols and I've been speaking with citizens almost daily to catch anything suspicious , as far as any of us can tell there hasn't been any more activity in the city."

Rhys leans back further in his chair, looking at her intensely.

"I'm concerned about your partner and the access he has to the governess of the city."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm concerned about Merikh. Azriel and Cassian are concerned about his connections in Illyria. And I don't think you've been entirely honest with us."

Elara could feel her power stirring up in her, threatening to blow over.

"What are you trying to say?"

Rhys stands from his chair and walks around until he's leaning against the front of his desk with his arms crossed.

"I'm saying that Merikh has been acting and speaking suspiciously. I'm saying that I sense you haven't been entirely honest recently. I'm worried about my governess and I'm worried about her as a sister.

Elara kept her face completely steeled, her lips pursed and her eyes burning holes into his. She didn't move an inch, didn't betray anything in her emotions. Rhysand stares back and neither one of them are surrendering.

"If you have concerns about Merikh, then they need to be addressed. I can assure you, High Lord, that there are no issues with my honesty or my ability to protect the city."

Rhys still continued to look at her, not saying anything. Elara took that as her cue and walked out of his office.

She headed home, desperately wishing that Merikh was passed out on the couch or simply not home.

Elara entered the house and her senses went up immediately. Her intensified senses picked up the smell of whiskey. Her wings instinctively tucked in closer to herself when she saw Merikh sitting on the couch; he drains his glass and stands up to look at her.

Enough time had passed since the last incident with him that Elara was almost able to forget what he was capable of, but seeing the look in his eyes was a stark reminder.

"I thought I told you not to go to Windhaven, that's no place for you. You're making me look like a fool by going out there."

"How do you know I'm going out there?" It was a stupid thing to come out of her mouth, an instinctual reaction, but her mission was supposed to have been confidential and subsequently all the meetings had been strictly closed door. He had been in the room when she suggested going a few weeks ago, but no one had brought it up since. The orders for the mission had come down from Rhys last week and the meeting with Sylas had been in the afternoon.

Merikh completely ignored your question, but was slowly walking closer to her. He got up in her face and Elara tensed, waiting for the ball to drop. His breath hot on her face, he asks "what do you think all the other Illyrian males will say when they see you out there by yourself? You're too attractive of a female to be roaming around the camps?"

Forget the she was Illyrian and had spent her entire childhood in that camp - was he flirting with her? Was he acting like a jealous male? The kind that's actually protective over their partner?

Elara had no idea what to say to him. She couldn't tell if this was supposed to be an intimate moment for them or if she could set him off at any second, so she simply turned her head up and kissed him. Thankfully, he reciprocated.

Things progressed quickly from there, Elara's anger at Rhys long forgotten, her embarrassment in the training rings drowned out. His hands and mouth were all over her, their clothes flying off of them in a fury.

But still, Elara couldn't stop thinking about how Merikh knew of the mission. Why he was so adamant that she didn't go. It all felt off. But the male standing in front of her had been chosen for her, was her perfect match - he surely had his faults, but there was no way he'd be able to plot anything against her.

With no express warning or preparation, Merikh bent her over to slip inside her. Elara twisted around and put her hands on his forearms, trying to signal she wasn't quite in the mood for that yet, but Merikh was too drunk or indifferent to care.

Turning her back around, he leaned down to whisper in her ear. "Taron won't be able to keep his eyes off of you, don't forget to let him know who you belong to."

This time Elara twisted around to look at him with force. Stood her ground against his rough hands. "What the fuck did you just say?"

"At your trip to Windhaven, don't forget who you belong to."

"No, who is Taron? How do you know him?"

"You wicked bitch, why does it matter?"

She lunges at him and he's fighting back. There has never been a time that she actively fought Merikh, she always became submissive and just waited for it to be over, but this time she realized that Rhys had been correct and the safety of her city and everything she worked for was at stake.

He's fighting back and she's resisting the urge to completely burn him up with a blast of starlight, but she can't muster up the power. Her powers have been dampened. She tries to winnow and she can't. She tries to speak to Rhys or Feyre mind to mind and she can't. She tries to fight back, but she's getting uncharacteristically tired. It starts to feel as though she's paralyzed.

Merikh has an evil look in his eye. He's pushes her to ground, starts kicking her and slashing at her wings, at her face, anything he could.

Elara remains conscious the entire time, but is completely frozen.

Finally, mercifully he places one final kick to her face and leaves. As soon as he's out the door, Elara feels a fizzle in her fingertips. Her magic returning.

She can barely move, barely think and can barely breathe.

With her last ounce of energy and consciousness she screams into Rhysand's mind.

[eternally-frozen]

Private lessons

Synopsis: Dottore got kicked out of his studies due to various concerns about his psychological wellbeing. You, on the other hand, are currently majoring in biology - human anatomy and psychology. When he met you, you we’re still bright. Eager to learn and eager to follow the school system that ‘withholds’ true knowledge from it’s students. Dottore takes his opportunity to show you how things really work.

Warning: Dottore is crazy. you’re kidnapped but there’s no actual kidnapping scene, he tries to teach you about the brain by showing you a brain, he cuts the skull of a living dude, he also drugged the dude, you vomit, mentions of snot, dark themes in general, awake brain surgery, implied intimacy, hude dead dove do not eat, 

Note: This is a modern setting, but everything is still in Teyvat. The akedemiya doesn’t get mentioned - you go to a different school. No visions mentioned, no clones mentioned. Idk why I wrote this - an angry spirit probably possessed me /j

Song recommendation: In pieces - Madison York

You used to study biology. Human anatomy and psychology, to be specific.

You used to, and somewhere along the way you got acquainted with Zandik.

Perhaps if you weren’t as busy, you wouldn’t have been fooled by his charming façade. Maybe you’d have noticed the obvious insanity in his eyes, Il Dottore, the second of the Eleven Fatui Harbingers, before it was too late.

But despite all your attempts at resisting, he remains stubborn.

You are so in love with your major, and who’d want that passion to die down because studies are held back due to ‘morals’ and rules.

You can’t imagine his reaction should the moment come where you find the courage to tell him you never wanted to study your major in his way.

Months prior, he crashed into your life like a bullet flying out of its barrel and straight into someone’s chest.

He’d cause a sequence of terrible events, ranging from one of your friends dying in a gang fight – to being disowned by your family after you’d gotten expelled with student loans suddenly driving you into debt.

All you had, was no more. And he was to blame.

Your life was done for, even if he opted to keep you alive for whatever reason he had in his deranged mind.

But, it wasn’t all bad at first. Dottore might’ve seemed like a normal man at some point. A bit intense, but previously never dangerous in your eyes.

He’d been your saviour only a few months ago. If not for him, you’d still be stuck with your thesis. It was mostly your fault for choosing a subject you didn’t particularly like, and yet, he’d spend his free evenings tutoring you, explaining the things you failed to understand with patience and reward.

You used to like talking with him.

At one point he brought you comfort and joy. You couldn’t help but search for his crimson eyes within the crowds of Sumeru city, hoping to catch him before you’d head to your next class.

But everything comes to an end eventually, and when you finished your thesis you stopped visiting him.

You wonder, had your choices been different – had you kept visiting him – would you still be in bliss, unaware of those crimson eyes stalking you?

And despite everyone close to you either dying or getting hurt, he only lost his temper with you once.

It must’ve been a petty argument, you can’t remember what you two had been screaming about, but knowing him, it must’ve been related to your studies.

In the heat of the argument he grabbed you by your arms with enough force to make you fear him. His grip was strong, leaving you no place to escape until you’d finally admitted you were the one in the wrong.

Zandik does not feel any emotions – you know this. His eyes are always distant, thinking about something that’s probably incomprehensible to you. The only time he ever had emotion in his eye was during that argument. Almost like a light returning, if only for a split moment.

It had taken a full week for the bruises to fade away. Not that it mattered much, no one was able to see the bruises on you. Only a few hours after the argument, he made up his mind; he’d take you.

Whatever that light in his eyes was, it had been a clear sign. Somewhere along the way you had provoked him to kidnap you and take you away from everything you knew.  

You have a huge gap in your memories of that time. For you it felt like you woke up in a different nation after the argument with Dottore. When you first woke up and asked him about it, he calmly told you it was your punishment – or whatever that was supposed to mean.

He’d taken you from Sumeru all the way across different nations until he reached his destination in the frozen lands of Snezhnaya. On your first day there he told you his real identity and his affiliations with the Tsarista.

Even with that information, his motivations remained unclear. Confusion floods your mind at night when you lay next to his sleeping body. Why would he keep you by his side? Why does he insists on doing this? Is he toying with you?

You can only imagine him wanting you to lower your guard.

Not that he’d ever let you though.

As hard as it is to admit, He likes you. Your reactions make his heart beat faster and he wildly encourages you to do the craziest things.

A sick smile paints his face whenever you hurl objects at his face, probably entertained by your futile attempts to harm him. Furthermore, the way he condescendingly lures you into discussions only for him to explain why you’re in the wrong.

You hate him.

You really fucking hate him.

The door behind you is locked, you checked it moments before.

Is this another one of his lessons?

“You wanted to learn more about human anatomy, correct?”

Dottore’s voice is steady, never revealing any emotions to you. His eyes move up, watching your glare waver when you meet his crimson gaze. You continue to linger by the exit, despite it being locked.

“No.”

Your voice is weak. It breaks and the tone wavers. Dottore watches your eyes dart around the room. He had made it clear; there’s no exit, not without him granting you one.

And how he loves your wide eyes looking everywhere aside from the person he drugged and laid on an operation table. Your hands are in fists, occasionally clenching together before slightly relaxing again, undoubtedly clampy from the sweat. It’s precious. You’re anxious.

“For someone who is so passionate to study behaviour, you’re awfully weak at acknowledging your own.”

He’s mocks you.

You try to even your breaths, in- and out again. You’re uncertain what he’s trying to teach you. Yesterday he’d gotten a random set of organs for you to study. Today? The drugged man on the table, the tools laid out on a sterile table..

Fuck. You’re so fucked.

Dottore lifts up a pair of latex gloves. White, the same type he made you use yesterday.

His voice continues,

“Did you ever get the joy of participating in the lectures of the human brain? Or did I get you expelled before experiencing them?”

He keeps his relaxed smile but slightly tilts his face down, eyes taunting you to lash out at him.

Still, you reply with as much control as you can muster,

“Yes.” - the basics you know. “I experienced…the first few lectures.”

Your voice trails off as you watch him move around the operation table. He helps the person on the table upright before attaching him to a device, something to keep his head from moving around.

You try to stand your ground. Part of you wants to believe him. He always tells you, ‘You know I can’t hurt you, bunny’.  But what truths do his words hold when he failed that promise long ago?

“Did you know, in the third year or so,-“

You watch him circle around the table. His fingers move down towards the tools, he lifts up something connected to a wire. You can’t see what it is exactly, so you move your eyes back to him.

“They showed us a brain.” He laughs, “Of course not a ‘real’ one.”

He walks around the person, stopping at the end where his head lays. The male in on the operation table tries to move his head up, but the frame keeps his head restricted.

Dottore continues,

“The academia used ones that were preserved and taken from people who lived an average life. They all died at old age, but not before signing a contract to donate their bodies to science once their family had mourned them.”

He waves his hand towards the chair that is placed in the middle of the empty room. It’s facing the side of the operation table. Probably set up to get a clearer view of both the ‘patient’ and Dottore.

“Sit down.”

You gulp down hard. The room itself is big, but smaller than any others you’ve seen.

The manor he resides remains largely unused. By now you’re used to the piles of dust and the spiders that hide in the corners of each room.

When you first explored his home it looked abandoned. Untouched and deprived from anything ‘homey’. But after a week or so, familiar items started to pop up.

Books previously in your possession, ranging from children stories to the sappy romance ones you used as your little escape, they all found its way here. It created a weird sense of safety – and he probably planned it like that.

He had also obtained multiple portraits. There’s one in the grand hall that paints a way too accurate version of yourself next to Dottore, his arm encircled around your waist as you both smile forward.

You hate the paintings.

But the creepiest things he obtained is the collection of stuffed animals that you used to sleep with.

When you first work up in his manor you’d been tucked into a king sized bed with fluffy blankets, multiple pillows and the nostalgic plushies. Your new bedroom was designed like your old one. Similar and comfortable, but after a week he decided to put an end to that safety.

You can only assume he burned the stuffed animals along with the pictures of friends and family that’d long been replaced with his face.

Though, you wonder how he’d gotten them in the first place. Part of you was worried for your family. Had he been at your parents’ home? It couldn’t be, why would he go through all that effort…

The floor creaks as you move your legs forward to the chair. He keeps his gaze on your form, and you return his gaze fiercely. Any form of fear he’ll take as submission, leading to worse ‘lessons’.

Still, your thoughts are less controlled. Will he lunge forward when you sit down? What’s up with the operation setting? What will he gain from this? What’s todays lesson?

He gives you a small smile when you sit down onto the chair. It’s not close enough to the table for you to feel intimidated. You’re still three meters away from Dottore. You pull your legs together and try to pull your dress down more. You feel exposed in the empty room.

You can do this.

“Book.”

You panic for a second and he smirks before tauntingly pointing his index finger towards an item on the floor; the book.

It’s nearby, so you lean down and grab it.

You recognise it. It’s the same one you were studying before he kidnapped you.

You remember the first few chapters. It contains an introduction about the anatomy of the brain, dividing it in parts, telling the reader what each side does, and how the brain works when stimulated in certain circumstances.

You remember only diving deep into the functions of the frontal lobe. You fail to recall them now, you’re too stressed out.

Despite the stress, you’re able to figure out today’s lecture.

Dottore speaks up, “Lesson one,”

His red eyes watch you lift your chin up. Your eyes are wide and shaken. Your chest is heaving up and down as you start to hyperventilate. Dottore’s breaths in deeply and his pupils dilate.

‘Smart girl.’

He inhales sharply though his nose, “A human can undergo a conscious brain surgery. You know how it works, I assume?”

You part your lips slightly, horror in your eyes as you weakly shake your head.

The guy on the table is a male. Average in height and weight. He has no noticeable features and seems to be only a few years older than you. You can see his skull from your position. There’s a dotted line drawn across his forehead.

He’s going to exercise a conscious brain surgery.

“Dottore.” You breath out, eyebrows furrowed together. “Please.”

You only see the side of his face, but you get a clear view of the grin that breaks free.

“Don’t worry. He signed a waiver of agreement to make you feel more at ease.”

He flips on a button and the tool in his hand starts buzzing. You recognise it now, it’s a medical drill, something to cut bones with. When he moves it up to the patient’s skull and you quickly avert your gaze.

You feel bile starting to rise from your stomach and you gag in response. Your fists clench onto the book, trying to keep you grounded. You can hear Dottore’s voice, though the words don’t register in your brain.

Water pools onto your lower eyelid and you lift a hand up to your mouth keep yourself from puking. Your eyes are casted onto the ground. Each inhale though your nose physically hurts. The disgusting aftertaste of vomit remains in the back of your throat.

Is it too late to pray?

The buzzing sounds continue for longer than you like, and when it stops you remain in your position, frozen in place.

You focus on breathing. In, and out again. Your body is trembling and you jolt when you feel two hands place themselves onto your arms.

“Please,” Dottore’s face is only a few inches away from yours. Within his strong grip you’re at his mercy. He watches you struggle a few more seconds before he sternly tells you to quit it.

You let out a pathetic sob, leaning forward into his direction, letting your head fall down in defeat. Tears and snot run down your face. His hold on you is the only thing keeping you from tumbling down onto the ground.

“We will continue this until you’ve properly learnt your stupid biology. It’s up to you to decide how many people get to die. Understood?”

You shake your head weakly. “I can’t.”

He groans, “You must, and you will.”

He releases his grip on your arms. When your body falls forward he puts a hand on your sternum, pushing you back with ease.

His fingerprints burn onto your skin. The latex gloves are no longer sterile, you can feel the blood staining your dress and skin, but you doubt he cares.

Dottore watches as you slowly compose yourself. It takes a bit, but he remains silent.  

“There we go.” He removes the hand that’s been pushing you into the chair. “Wasn’t that hard was it?”

Your eyes remain fixed on the floor for a few more seconds. You listen to Dottore’s footsteps. He’s gone and you feel your body start to tremble again.

You don’t want this. You never wanted this.

Something tells you to look up.

You wish you didn’t.

The upper part of the man’s skull is removed. You have a clear view of the brain that’s been exposed to the air. The removal was done with precision, not a part of his brain is harmed.

A drop of blood floods down from the open part of his skull to his eyes. You watch the male groan weakly in response.

He’s still alive.

Dottore watches your body hit the ground before you vomit. You sob, whine and gag. Your small hands fly all over the place. One placed on the ground, trying to keep yourself from falling into the pool of vomit, while the other is busy wiping away the snot, vomit and tears that fall from your face.

A warm smile creeps up on Dottore’s face as he watches your intense reaction.

“Y/N.” He snaps his fingers once.

You stop your movements.

Are you going to die? Is he mad because you vomited? You lift a shaky hand up to your mouth.

His shoes come in view once again. His head is close to yours, he’s crouching down in front of you.

Time seems to stop as you gaze back into his crimson eyes.

“Hello?” He snaps his fingers in front of you.

You blink and you move your eyes back to the ground. The pool of vomit makes you sick again.

”S…sorry-“ You sob once more.

He rubs his fingers between his brow, a revelation hitting him.

With a somewhat sudden movement he stands up, frightening you and making you sob even harder.

You’re no sight to behold at the moment. Covered in vomit, tears and snot running down your face, and reeking of sweat.

He undoubtedly put himself in a less than favourable situation.

After today he’s going to have to deal with delays in your study and those nightmares that you get.

Whatever.

A small miscalculation on his part.

He takes off his white lab coat and throws it onto the male on the operation table, covering the exposed brain and likely injuring it in the process.

He has no intention to keep the patient.

The experiment had long lost his privilege to live.

Dottore’s experiment started to lose organ functions a few days ago. It’d eventually lead him to die without ever completing the tests Dottore put him under.

Truly unfortunate, but Dottore still gifted the dying man one last gift.

As Dottore turns his attention back to you he realises he might’ve fucked you up a bit though.

No worries.

He’ll patch you up again.

Tomorrow’s lesson can wait for now.

[daneecastle]

Forgiveness

As we know, Aziraphale prides himself on the ability to forgive.

So what does that mean? Why bring it up?

We have probably already seen enough posts about his final forgiveness on the final scene at the end of season 2.

.... after this intense and desperate confession of Crowley's love for Aziraphale, why would he fall to saying that? Why would he be so stupid to ruin everything with a phrase that Crowley is so sensitive to ....

He was sensitive to how he was himself. He asked questions and was punished for it. He was sent to the pits ....

He did, and will never admit it to anyone but God herself, that he wanted forgiveness but not from anyone but her. (Now note, that didn't mean he wanted to return to heaven. Heaven and God to him were two separate things.) He felt like he was unforgivable because the one that mattered had abandoned him.

......

So when sweet Aziraphale kept saying it...

I bet his feeling "unforgivable" weighed heavy on him. Something you'd think Aziraphale would know about him.

But.... that scene was a series of mistakes for them. Crowley's first mistake was reacting with a kiss. A very intimate action and quite possibly Aziraphale's first one. Their first kiss, period.

So how did Aziraphale act? With the bases of his being, the soul thing he prided on about being good at.

And he ruined the phrase by using it incorrectly.

He did realise it after a long period of confusion and fantastic micro expression changes done by Michael Sheen. So the elevator ride was even more heartbreaking cause he knew that he now had to make it up to Crowley by doing the one thing he pushed for that Crowley didn't like in the beginning.

Going back up to heaven to make changes.

Yes, he is a dumb-dumb. But he truly does love Crowley....

I can't even express how hard of a final scene this was. I could go on and on with a screen full of text about every detail of that interaction, starting with the Meta-jerk's entrance with the coffee. To Aziraphale and Crowley going their separate ways.

But I won't.

Instead, during my busy start to August of 2023, I'm going to work on a visual story of expressions, emotions, connections, and possible thoughts they might be going through when it involves eachother through out their adventure of discovery on Earth.

I'm not sure what to call it yet or if I'm even going to get any satisfaction from it. Especially since I've experienced this situation before and had an unsatisfying result.

But I'm going to try anyways.

.... yes, it's 1:05am here, and I got maybe 3 hours of sleep, maybe less. I don't know what time I fell asleep but I'm guessing 9pm and I woke at midnight .... hopefully, I can get this fixed later today with my doctors appointment.

I'm going to go to planning this project, and I'll be posting very rough sketches for the next couple of weeks. As well as my digital painting of the kiss image I drew. Thanks for reading.

[besamehyuka]

Let’s Keep Her: Introduction

WARNING: THIS CONTAINS SCENES WHICH MAY BE UNPLEASANT FOR SOME READERS! SUCH AS; INAPPROPRIATE TOUCHING, WORDS, ACTIONS AND PHRASES. IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH SMUT/MAFIA/ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES; DO NOT READ!!

(All Parts)

“Excuse me.” You stated, your eyes glancing over to the man who stood in-front of you, his massive frame pressed against the wall, his eyes never even visible in the pale light that scattered across the bank’s halls. It should’ve scared you, maybe even shook you up a bit, but many years of this job wouldn’t scare anyone. 

It wasn’t a light job, only the tainted of heart could do it, and as your mother had told you, you had a heart of ice. 

“Thicker than a block of ice!” She called, tears flooding down her wrinkled face as she yelled at you, her hands dangling to her sides, that was moments after she had slapped you. Slapped you with an intensity so sharp it caused your mouth to go numb. A slap so full of emotion, even the heartless could feel it.

All of this because you had told her what your job was. All of this because she wanted an elegant pretty princess, and you weren’t going to give her what she wanted.

But back to the task at hand, this was far more important than your sappy tragedy with your ungrateful mother. These people were in here way past closing. These people could be dangerous, and you swallowed thickly as you felt hands travel up your spine. 

“Hey boss, we found her.” A dark husky voice stated, his growl almost sounding like it had came from Satan himself. Who was this person? What on earth? 

You pushed the hand away stepped backwards, taking in the sight of the man that had just spoken. “Don’t you touch me!” You commanded. And with that, the man’s voice who was as deep as iron chuckled. His eyes loomed before yours.

He had obviously dyed bleach blonde hair, freckled cheeks, way too pale of skin, that looked creamy milk white. But it was beautiful. Way too beautiful for any natural man, and his eyes, it scared you. You felt every vein in your body freeze. His eyes were crimson red, like the fires of tarturus. Like the ends of the earth lingered in his eyes. He wasn’t a human, and you felt it.

“I’m starting to wonder now why you’re able to resist me the way you are. How you’re able to simply walk away.” He urged on, stepping forward, forcing you to take several steps backward.

“You aren’t scaring me! If you think you can jus-” Before you could reply you felt a tone firm chest press against your back, causing every fiber of your being, all your strength, all ounce of your pride to collapse.

You had forgotten about the other one. How could you have been so stupid? You had let your guard down! Of all things they taught you in school, this was the most important. 

Maybe if you could just shift your weight and-

“If you think you’re getting out of this you’re dead wrong.” The other man stated from behind you. Pressing a warm mouth to your neck inhaling your scent as if he was a lover, a provider, a giver, your giver.

You shudder as you try to pry at his arms, but his tight on you only seemed to strengthen. Wrapping an arm around your waist, he chuckled. 

“Going away so soon, love? You smell awfully delicious. O-.” He confirmed shooting the other man a smirk.

“My favorite.” The other licked his lips with a reassuring look.

You grimace, the look of dread filled your face. Were you going to die here? With these handsome but deadly men clutching you, acting like complete psychos?

“Get the hell away from me!” You yelled, kneeing, scratching, trying everything in your power, finally freeing yourself, earning a low chuckle from the man behind you, who clutched you so eagerly just seconds ago.

“I like her. Let’s not kill this one Chan.”

And with that, the other one you suppose was Chan tilted his head in acknowledgement, smirking as he glazed you over. “Its decided. Let’s keep her. “

[howtosingit]

The silver lining to all the fandom bullshit, for me, is that I came out of 4x03 loving both TK and Carlos a whole helluva lot more than I ever have... and also seeing the ways, across 4x01 to 4x03, that they love so fiercely - both each other and others - with their whole fucking hearts... and knowing that loving that hard, that intensely, means that it’s never perfect because it’s so easy for emotions to make things messy and complicated when it consumes you like that... but I’ve always said that I could go through any angst with these two as long as the love is still there... and oh boy is it still there. 

I just really fucking love them both, warts and all.

[More under the cut because I have too many thoughts:]

I've analyzed both of their behaviors and I fully get them and appreciate them. I think what it boils down to is that they just have different priorities in 4x03 that aren't fully working in tandem at the moment and it's causing some tension... but it's actually really good tension because what couple has the same exact priorities every damn moment of their lives?? What are they, clones??

And if I'm thinking of only TK's emotions then I'm upset by Carlos's distance for sure... but I also think TK is a lot more than just upset. He's also feeling guilty (and he was before Carlos even knew about the visit, so that guilt was all his, Carlos did not put that on him initially) and concerned for Carlos because he's seeing Carlos behave erratically and that's new for him. Like, TK sees this change in Carlos and he is scared of it because he knows how far Carlos is willing to go for the people he loves, he’s seen Carlos do that for him before. He knows. So, I am reading TK's reactions as a lot more nuanced than just sad/upset - the man is feeling a lot... GIVE HIM A HUG PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

And as far as Carlos... our tragic, compartmentalizing Carlos... when Iris goes missing he pushes so much down just to focus on her - on finding her, on protecting her, on supporting her. He and TK have one argument and he does his best to not lash out... he buries it and shifts his focus. Full-on focus on finding Iris, finding answers. He gets right to work, he’s in detective/cop mode, just like Ronen said. And we know he has his own guilt driving him towards that, especially since he thinks that maybe coming back into her life like this, with the divorce and with TK, has fucked up her stability. He remains super focused on the s*x doll call because when he comes into the call it is literally in response to the missing person alert - unlike the 126, this call is tied to Iris from minute one for him... and then when he has Iris back he's still just focused on her because she is not doing well. But he's not ignoring TK completely this entire episode as I've seen so many people claim... he literally calls TK to give an update about Iris... he's concerned about Iris and he chooses to talk to TK about it... about whether or not he can believe her like he wants to when all the evidence says he shouldn't. It's the trusting his gut thing all over again... but this time it's trusting his gut to trust Iris... but he still calls TK to talk through that. And it’s not so that he can further blame TK for it either - that blame and guilt is still very much coming from TK himself, and if Carlos is doing anything wrong here it’s that he’s not reassuring TK that he’s blameless... and, like, I get that? Because Carlos also isn’t feeling blameless so maybe he’s thinking it’s both of their faults, that they did this to her. (Not correct, not rational, but understandable, at least to me.)

And then the final call that he makes... I love that the scene starts with his attention on the house... he clearly wants to go right in and get to work... but he pauses and calls TK... and sure he lies to him but that's because he's doing something he knows he shouldn't and he doesn't want to be convinced not to... which is understandable, too, I think. He would’ve lied to anyone in that moment. But he also doesn't want TK to worry when he doesn't come home so he calls and at least gives him a little bit of relief... and yes it's a lie but like... we knew Carlos was gonna be irrational this episode... he doesn't ALWAYS do the right thing. So it's a lie but it at least it gives him time to do what he wants to do AND it - in his mind, though he is wrong - will help settle TK worries.

I don't know... I'm just not mad about all of this. I actually think 4x03 was an incredibly strong episode (the Carlos plot only though). I mean those scenes with Iris... y'all I'm still losing my mind over them. Their friendship is so beautiful and you can clearly see how they were each other’s whole world at one point in time. I love seeing a Carlos that breaks the rules and does the wrong thing because my god I don't know a single person who doesn't fuck up every once in awhile... but he does it out of LOVE, he does it out of his NEED to help, to protect, to be there for the people he loves. Like, how the fuck am I supposed to hate him for that? (Spoiler alert: I’m not gonna and you can’t make me.)

I think if you’re THAT mad at Carlos, it’s because you’re not even trying to understand him in all of this... you’re seeing the POV that the show is giving us (which for the Tarlos of all of this is clearly TK, that’s why we got the talk with Tommy) and you’re not even trying to analyze the rest of the story. And, like, I’m not here to tell you you have to, but I think you’d find this a lot more enjoyable if you at least tried to see where all the characters are coming from. And you might still be frustrated with Carlos - he’s frustrating, hallelujah! - but you’d also realize he’s not the fucking devil. He’s just an imperfect man with a too-big heart stuck between a rock (tunnel) and a hard place (a shovel). And I’m so excited to see the LOVE that he and TK have for each other SAVE him (and them). IT’S. STILL. ALL. ABOUT. THEIR. LOVE.

Anyway... bring on 4x04, I’m so fucking READY.

[randomgentlefolk]

CPC CHAPTER 165+166

The warning earned a chuckle from me lmao. Because why did I literally gasp while reading the first line xd

The warning for eps 166...didn't make me laugh at all.

Yayy Gwen is finally awake!! I guess thanks Leland for removing the thorny plants so she won't hurt herself :|

Nah cause Leland really dare try to kidnap a girl who asked whether he's okay after she herself just woke up from an intense nightmare 💀

Bro has the GUTS. THE AUDACITY. To start ranting about the kids he's kidnapping.

This scene is so emotional, and I am so glad Gwen is finally starting to know who Leelathae is. Though I won't lie, I'm a little disappointed that Leland is the one to tell her :/ I was expecting a family moment with Jack and the other pastel kids. But it's all good since she finally gets to know her :D

I would like to apologize in advance. Serpent Leland kinda made me laugh due to his abs lmaooo.

But it's pretty cool how Gwen and Frederick sees Leland as a threat (tho unintentional), though with different perspective. Gwen sees Leland as a big bad wolf while Frederick sees Leland as a serpent.

HECK YEAH!!! You go, Frederick!!! For once, his ability to misunderstand something is actually resulting in something wonderful and amazing!!

Aww the Possum immediately hugging Gwen <3

Oh uh whoops. Can Curtis see through that glasses? Hopefully...

Guys, Leland is throwing tantrum again :/ but i can see how using Laverne as a weapon against him is a really useful tactic. Considering how in the past, he bought Laverne to be a replacement for Jack. So turning Laverne against him probably feels like a 2nd betrayal for him.

OOHH....Aww man. Damn. I can feel that comb hitting Leland's hand and pushing the thorns in. Ouch...

NAHH NOT CELSO!!! My man this is why you don't scream your move when doing stealth move 😔

Did Frederick just do a Judo move.

I looked it up and this move is called shoulder throw or Seoi-nage.

BUT FREDERICK ACTUALLY, SERIOUSLY JUST SHOULDER THROW HIS FATHER, THEN PROCEEDS TO PLANT HIS HEAD ON THE WALL. Those laverne carrying are working. Plot twist he's actually buff lmao.

Ahwguwau Frederick actually learning from moments where he got hurt and being brave tho!! So proud of him <3

I love Aurelia and her comments man XD

Frederick immediately checking up on Gwen and making sure she wasn't hurt. These guys deserve their happy ending Lambcat c'mon :')

AURELIA FINALLY GIVING GWEN THE DIARY!!! PASTEL KIDS CHILDHOOD WJSJIWNSGEKA

But of course! Let's start from the beginning of chapter 166...

Lorena would be so proud if she see how Frederick tied his dad with her vines.

Yeah, Gwen definitely should start on the second page... Just reading the first page by glancing could lead to many misunderstandings.

May I just say, I love how Gwen is being stern(is that the word?) To Aurelia about how she needs to read that book and that she really want to know about her mother. Hah! Again, I love Aurelia's comment (this time about the war literally happening downstairs XD)

IT'S TIME. INTOOOOOO PASTEL KIDS CHILDHOOD WITH LEELATHAEEEE!!

(Cue that batman transition music (i forgot the era))

WUJWJWHWAIB THEY??? ARE ADORABLE!!! Awww Leelathae reading them a story with Jack and Gwen & Jamie's onesie!! Also their plushies!! I'm having cuteness overload....

HAJSYAISYAJ THEY HAVE MATCHING DRESSES!!!!! Maybe Leelathae sew them herself??? SJSJSHJAUS

Oh. Okay. That's not good. I suppose there's a side effect after giving birth to the children? That's...depressing.

But before we go deeper into that, birthday party!!

I must say, I absolutely adore how chaotic Lorena seems to be lmao. Look at her and her little sword XD and Maria looking really elegant. She really does give the eldest sister vibe. Gwen looks so cute with the pigtails! (I forgot the hairstyle name). Jamie with the fruits and Gwen with the fruit and cooking utensils!

Also it seems that the pastel family is having a small party for birthdays instead of big ones like the plaid kingdom. I wonder why they don't invite the plaid family over? Blaine and Lance would be 6 and 5 years old at this time, so they're probably at the academy already. But what about Leland and Isolde?

Man, this family is genuinely so wholesome and that makes me even sadder for what's about to happen. CAUSE DAMN??? Leelathae passing out while holding the cake, and Jack noticing like 😭 AND THEN JACK RUNNING TOWARDS HER LIKE MARIA AND LORENA RUNNING TOWARDS GWEN I'M GOING TO CRY.

R.i.p cake (i had to do it)

Ahh I see. Okay. So the left ventricle (which is a part of the heart) is weakening and it can't strengthen back up? That's what I'm getting, at least. I wasn't aware something like this could happen. I'm just researching, and is Peripartum Cardiomyopathy (PPCM) the correct term for this? I don't know anything about childbirth beyond what I learn in school so... this one's purely based on searching the symptom in google.

Okay, let's see... *puts on glasses and squint my eyes* *clears throat*

Peripartum cardiomyopathy (PPCM) or also known as Postpartum cardiomyopathy is an uncommon form of heart failure that happens toward the end of pregnancy or in the months following delivery, when no other cause of heart failure can be found.

https://www.heart.org/en/health-topics/cardiomyopathy/what-is-cardiomyopathy-in-adults/peripartum-cardiomyopathy-ppcm

(This information is taken from American Heart Association website. I hope that's alright?)

Symptoms of PPCM that we've seen in Leelathae:

- Fatigue

- Shortness of breath

- Chest pain

- Feeling lightheaded or faint

- Dizziness

For now that's the only things I can note. I mean, I'm not even sure if that is what Leelathae is going through. But it seems likely. I don't have anything to add on this matter right now, so what if we go back to the story. Shall we?

"I'm going to perish...from a broken heart"

OHHHHH, OKAY DAMN LEELATHAE. Man... this reminds me of the broken heart syndrome. It's pretty interesting. If I'm not wrong, it's a heart condition that comes from extremely stressful situation or emotions. And it is possible to pass away from it. So yes, you can die from a broken heart.

Oh man this just got depressing real quick... The kids sitting beside Leelathae's bed, the medicines piling up overtime, Leelathe crying and Jack hugging her...

Leelathae :( she just wants to see her kids grow up and her husband man... and yet because a certain jealous man just had to steal a portrait...damn it Leland.

The witch!! It's her!! :0000

That's nice of her to offer to listen to Leelathae's vent :) though she does mistake her for a witch :')

THIS WHOLE TIME. IT'S THE WITCH LMAO. Okay actually being mistaken as a witch has a perk this time!! And does this mean Leelathae can bake??? Like mother like daughter real.

The panel of the witch hugging Leelathae is actually pretty sweet haha. They're besties now X)

I wonder how this spell will work....

That's it for now. 2 episodes in a post! Wooo! I gotta stop procrastinating... this post was so long lmao.

Mono out! (Ngl I'm still in lmao)

[noforkingclue]

Hi, I saw your open requests and wanted to know if you can do a The Boys one. This might be long...

Imagine an unknown or known supe with the power to control emotions. They manifest tranquility and joy or induce anxiety and panic attacks onto people (you can lower the intensity if that’s too much). They have a scene where they interact with the boys. This can be an x Homelander since they would be able to control his emotions.

-“You can hate me but you’ll be so happy to see me.”

Extra: [They work at Vought as someone who’s able to get close to the supes. They don’t really like the Seven much and try to cause as much issues as possible.]

Note: requests are currently closed

So the Homelander relationship is kinda in the background with this fic. It more focuses on the reader and Butcher talking.

Title: Devious Plans

Warnings: implied forced relationship

The Boys tag list: @captainofmybigwetdream, @scraftskhu35, @zannemes, @holy-minseok

Everything tag list: @greenrevolutionary, @byebyebreezywrites, @spngingerbread21, @layazul, @lov3vivian, @simonsbluee

“What? Edgar doesn’t want to get his hands bloody so he sends one of his fucking cunty minions to do his dirty work for him?”

You looked over at the man who joined you at the bar. He rested his elbows on the counter and you gestured to the bartender to get him a drink. You studied Butcher intently as you took a sip of your own drink. When a whiskey was finally placed in front of him you said,

“Mr Edgar is busy.”

“Heard that one too many times, love.”

“Why doesn’t that surprise me.”

Butcher downed his drink in one and immediately it was replaced. He eyed the drink suspiciously and you said,

“Don’t worry. I haven’t poisoned it.”

“If you wanted me dead I’d be dead already.”

You wrinkled your nose saying,

“Bit cliché. I’m not a fan of clichés.”

“Then why are you here you stupid fucking-“

“Hey,” you smiled and put a hand on his shoulder, “Calm down. This anger isn’t very good for your blood pressure.”

You could feel Butcher relax under your grip. He frowned slightly before quickly ripping his arm out from under yours.

“You’re a supe.” He spat

“Took you long enough.”

You finished your drink and another was immediately put in front of you.

“So why the fuck are you here?” snapped Butcher

“Just to make sure that you’re doing what we want.”

“Bullshit.”

“Oh?”

“Look love,” Butcher leaned closer, “You work for fucking Vought. You’re just like the rest of them.”

You slammed your glass down and took a deep breath. Butcher grinned at the crack in your mask and you said,

“I am not like them.”

“Evidence says otherwise.”

“Maybe I’m here because I hate them just as much as you.”

“Why are you here.”

“Because I want to see them burn.”

You ran a hand over your face and said quietly,

“The power to control emotions is incredibly useful. Especially when you’re prize superhero is a mentally unstable homicidal maniac.”

Butcher burst out laughing. You raised your eyebrows at him but waited until he had stopped. Butcher rested against the bar and said,

“So Edgar fucking uses you. He whores you out to placate Homelander.”

“That’s a very crude way of putting it.”

“It’s the truth though.”

“Hmm.”

“So what do you want me to do.”

“What Mr Edgar wants.”

“And why the fuck should I do that?”

“Because then we get what we both want.”

“Which is?”

“Homelander dead.”

Butcher’s expression turned stony and you smiled. You had him. He wanted that cunt dead just as much as you did. You finished your drink and hopped off the barstool.

“It was a pleasure speaking to you Mr Butcher. I’ll be in touch.”

“No you fucking won’t.”

“Really?”

“Best if we don’t see each other again.”

“And why is that?”

“Because if I do, I fucking kill you.”

“Because I’m a supe cunt?”

“Exactly.”

“Oh Mr Butcher,” you patted his cheek mockingly, “You can hate me all you want but next time, you’ll be so happy to see me.”

Butcher tried to move but you quickly removed all violent thoughts. His eyes narrowed when he realised what you had done and just how powerless he was against you.

“Be seeing you.” You said as you left the bar