#maybe go save the updated fixed versions if you want to make me feel better :p | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

skriveting · 3 years

Text

A bunch of different writing prompts MASTERLIST #1

updated 12.3.22

“Hate to break it to you, but …”

“Ok, this whole thing you’re doing? I’m gonna need you to stop.”

“I can’t help but feel jealous when you turn and smile at anyone else”

“So now what? You’re just gonna chase after them with a flashlight and righteousness?”

“To save you the time and me the breath …”

“Blackmail is more powerful than money. Once you have them with blackmail, you have them forever.” “I just asked you if I could borrow five dollars, I-”

“I can teach you something else if you want”

“Does anyone care what I think?” “I know I don’t!”

“Toss me!” “Toss you?!” “Do it!!”

“Hold my beer.” “This is a Capri-sun.”

“Wow that was so wild. Crazy”

“I hope common sense is the next cool trend”

“You think you can take me?”

“Bring it on.” “Enough with the movie references, can we just fight already?”

“Relax, there is no problem/we have no problems!” *B walks in* “Ok, one problem!”

“How did you even learn how to do this??” “It’s probably best that you don’t know.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.” “I guess that would be difficult.”

“You really think you can stop me? Adorable.”

“This is ridiculous, why did you make me carry you on my back?” “Stop complaining, I need a good vantage point!” “You can literally FLY!”

“Band-aids don’t fix bullet holes, *B*!” “Listen, I love a good Taylor Swift reference as much as the next guy, but now is probably not the time-”

“Don’t you have to be stupid somewhere else?” “Not until four.”

“Alright, fine. If I can’t get around you, I guess I’ll have to go through you!”

“So, you know how in _______, ___________ _______? That literally makes no sense.” “IT’S 1AM. Go to sleep!”

“For most people it goes, observe, think, speak. For *B* it goes a little differently.”

“This would be a lot easier if you weren’t so hot.”

“I don’t want your help, I want you safe!”

“Who buys 25 packs of balloons?!” “Leave me alone, it’s been a rough day!”

“Can you turn up the heat in here? It’s freezing in here!” “Sure baby, come on over here-” “nOt what I meant!!”

“Keep talking and maybe one day you’ll blurt out something intelligent.”

“I wish I was who you think I am”

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.” “How?” “That’s not your department.”

“An asteroid could hit Earth right now and I’d still be more upset about this”

“Could you please make an effort with them?” “I don’t care about them, I only care about is you.”

“Why not?” “Because I don’t want to die!” “You can be so boring sometimes why do I even hang out with you?”

“You know that’s never gonna happen, right?” “Just let me have this”

“You’re the Ethan to my Hila.” “You have to stop using modern references I have no idea what any of them mean”

“Rules are meant to be broken.” Actually, that’s not-“ "Come on!!”

“If I get shot, will you have my back?” “…. Well…” “Say yes!!”

“He’s the embodiment of everything wrong with the world. I’m kind of into it”

“Wow that was awful. Truly.” “Thank you.”

“I’d die for you.” “Please live for me instead.”

“I don’t know, it could be worse!” “But it could definitely be a whole lot better too.” “You have a point there.”

“I think I just met the human version of a dubstep remix.”

“You’re a mess. But you’re my mess.”

“If you don’t stop now I’m calling your mom!”

“Every time I see your face I go crazy.” “Crazy in a bad way or crazy in a good way?” “Undecided.”

“Love is like a plant. It has to be watered and nurtured and eventually it’ll grow and become stronger and stronger.” “Can our love be the plant that eats bugs and stuff? That one’s really cool.” “… sure.”

“If they don’t kill you, I will.”

“We’re going on a trip, in our favorite rocket ship-” “Please don’t sing the song-” “ZOOMING THROUGH THE SKY!!!”

“I can’t believe you’re scared of spiders, you’re massive.” “THEY’RE SMALL AND UNPREDICTABLE AND RUN REALLY FAST, OK?”

“My therapist won’t be happy when she hears about this.”

“You look awful. You look like someone drove you over, backed up, squashed you under their tyre and did donuts in an abandoned parking lot with your face in the ground. You look like someone crumpled you up and forced you down the garbage disposal. You look like someone played a game of Operation on you and didn’t clean you up afterwards. *pause* You look terrible.” “Yeah, I got that, thanks.”

“It’s not a big deal, don’t worry about it.” “You’re literally bleeding out!” “It’s fine-” “nO it’S NOT!!”

“I just wish you’d asked me first.”

“Poopity scoop.” “… can you please just-” “Poopity scoop. Poopity scoop”

“Can I please tell you-” “No, please don’t.” “… I love you.”

“So fight me, then!”

“Everything is going as planned!” “That’s because you have no plan.” “Exactly!”

“I love you.” “You shouldn’t.” “I know/I don’t care”

“I wish this thing came with an instruction manual.”

“You’re the only drug I need, baby” “That’s sweet but you still have to take your prescription”

“That’s not very professional”

“Argh, I broke a nail!” “Is that really your main concern right now??”

“That can’t be good.”

“Yet another day of oppression and agony. When will it end?” “We’ve been married for a week stop being so dramatic.”

“If anyone else asks me if I’m ok I’m going to go ballistic.”

“This doesn’t align with my morals.” “What morals?” “… fair point.”

“Shut up.” “..I didn’t say anything?” “Shhhh.”

“I just want to throw up and die”

“You make me wish I’d never been born.” “Funny, I was just wishing you’d never been born too!”

“What are you gonna do, sing about it?” “I might!!”

“I can’t keep going. Not like this.”

“What’s that?” “What’s what??” “That thing!!”

“Hey, so, uhm-” “What is it this time?”

“You make me wish I was better, I want to be better. But I don’t know how.”

“You’re the worst person I’ve ever met.” “Aw, thank you. That means a lot.”

“Did you know that during Prohibition, moonshiners would wear shoes with wooden blocks carved to look like cow hooves under them to leave hoofprints instead of footprints, helping them evade police?” “No, I didn’t, but more importantly, how did you know that?”

“Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide …” “…*begrudgingly* No escape from reality.”

“Calm down, I don’t see what the big deal is.” “You stabbed me!!”

“What’s you excuse this time?” “I’m a little bit stupid :)”

“If you were a car, you’d be a BMW.” “Why?” “Cuz I want you to Be My Wife !” “…are you trying to propose to me?” “… Please say yes.”

“Oh no. That can’t be right.”

“You’re not allowed to do that!” “Says who?!” “Your mom.” “I can’t believe you called my mom.”

“You’re gonna have to stop narrating everything you’re doing, you’re gonna give us away.” “Sorry.”

“I’ve never wanted anything so much in my entire life.”

“He’s my worst enemy. My nemesis.” “Didn’t you meet him like five minutes ago?” “Yes.”

“This is it. This is my sign!” “… That’s a cereal box.”

“I’ve done my fair share of stupid things in my day, but this is just ridiculous.”

“I hate you. But I hate them more. So I guess my hatred for you can wait.”

“What? I told you it was going to be dinner with my parents.” “Yes but you didn’t tell me your parents were like that!”

“Whether you like it or not, I’m your only hope. So what’s it gonna be?”

“Can you stop it?” “What? I’m just looking at you.” “I know, it’s creepy, stop!”

“I don’t remember that, that doesn’t sound like me.”

“You think you can stop me? That’s so cute.”

“Can you just-” “CaN yOu JuSt-” “Stop!” “StOp!” “One of these days I am going to kill you.”

“I’ve never been this happy before.” “Not even when you had to wait at that burger place so they ended up giving you extra large fries for free that one time?” “Not even then.”

“Uhm, I fell.” “Upwards?”

“I feel like you’re not hearing me; I don’t want more flowers. I just want you here, at home, with me.”

“This is not how I thought tonight would go.” “I know, isn’t it great?!”

“Is it supposed to be able to bend that way?” “No, definitely not, this is bad.”

“How are you able to do that?” “I honestly have no idea.”

“You need me for something, don’t you?” “Oh please, like you don’t need me for something too.”

“Silvia…” “Yes, Mickey?” “How you call your loverboy?” “Come here, loverboy!” “And if he doesn’t answer?” “Oh, loverboy!” “And if he STILL doesn’t answer?” “Yo loverboy, you better listen up when I’m talking to you!-” “No babe, we practiced this”

“I’m not angry, just disappointed.” “For the last time, I didn’t know we only had one doughnut left or I would have asked you!”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” “Do you want to …sing about it?”

“You truly are one of a kind.” “Thank you.” “I didn’t mean that in a good way.”

“I know you think I’m the villain, but I’m not.”

“I just want you to be happy. Whether that’s with or without me.”

“Let’s never speak of this.” “Agreed.”

“You can’t pay to get this kind of entertainment, baby!” “You catching fifteen grapes in a row is not entertainment.” “Says who?!”

“Where are we?!” “What makes you think I’m any less lost than you are?”

“Let’s go back to our place.” “Our place?” “Yeah. If you want it to be.”

“I thought I could trust you.”

“Hey, uhm, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you…” “Oh, no, don’t tell me you’re gonna go all sappy and confess your love and everything to me now, are you?” “Well now I’m certainly not gonna to do it!!”

“I don’t need your protection, I just need you!”

“This is making me really upset.” “I’m sorry but we don’t really have time for you to be upset about this right now.”

“Ugh, that kid is being so annoying.” “Isn’t that your daughter?” “Yeah, so?”

“I want to speak to the manager, please.” “Dude, this is a frat party, I don’t think they have-” “The manager!!!”

“What are you doing?” “What are you doing?” “Don’t change the subject!”

“Babe, we agreed to only use that code word for emergencies.” “I know, but-” “And a video of a turtle and a duck being best friends is not an emergency, is it?”

“I’m very easily upset and very outwardly aggressive, which is a terrible combination.”

“Wow, I’ve been really annoying today, haven’t I?” “Not any more than usual, sweetie.”

“Hey-” “No!” “Why are you groaning like that?” “No offense, but you’re the last person I wanted to see today.” “What, why?” “Cause I actually wanted to have a good day.”

“If I die on this night, then so be it! You have been a good friend, a trusted-” “You’re just going to a gas station, it’s not-” “Silence!!”

“I want you to stay. I’m asking you to stay.”

“Can you stop yawning, please?” “Sorry, but this is just so boring.” “It’s your daughter’s dance recital!”

“I don’t want to shoot you, but I will if I have to. Step aside.”

“You’re the most poorly written character I’ve ever met.” “What?” “What?”

“I don’t want to die, please don’t let me die!” “I’ll do whatever it takes to get you out of here alive, I promise.”

“I’m in love with you.” “Wow. I don’t know whether to thank you or give you my condolences, honestly.”

“What happened here?!” “I tried to catch a spider.” “With what, a flamethrower?!”

“This is amazing! How did you know I wanted this?” “What do you mean? I listened to you.” “You what now?”

“Over my dead body!” “Hm, shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Explain yourself!” “…I honestly don’t think I could even if I wanted to.”

“What are you doing here?!” “What do you mean? This is my house.” “You were dead two days ago!” “Oh, right, that. Well-”

“I don’t understand what you’re trying to tell me.” “Would it help if I presented the information by way of dance?” “No but it would be funny”

“Hey, is this a bad time?” “Yeah, actually-” “Ok, great, so-”

“Unless they can hoedown, I’m not interested.”

“I can’t, I’m allergic.” “To water?” “… Yes.”

“Not to be rude but you’re the stupidest person I’ve ever met.” “Look who’s talking!!”

“I hate your guts.” “That makes two of us.”

“Do I know you?” “You will momentarily.”

“I didn’t come this far only to come this far.” (source)

“You can’t just say ‘yo mama!’ as a response to everything!” “Yo mama!” “no!!”

“Aren’t you supposed to help me?” “What do you mean? I am helping!” “You making paper airplanes out of the wrapping paper is not helping.”

“What are you thinking about?” “Wouldn’t you like to know?” “Yes, that’s why I asked dumbass”

“I don’t know how you’re gonna top this. Hopefully you won’t”

“This is gross, and illegal.” “So?” “Just thought I’d mention it.”

“Please don’t be mad”

“Why did you do that?!” “I don’t know!!”

“A good friend wouldn’t let me do this.” “It’s lucky I’m not a good friend, then.” “You’re right about that.”

“You know, you make being your guardian angel very difficult.”

“Every time I look at you I can only think of one thing.” “Oh yeah, what’s that?” “The Boney M 1994 smash hit that inspired an entire generation-” “Oh no” “Ra-Ra-Rasputin!!!!-” “PLEASE STOP”

“Don’t you think I’d love you back if I could?!”

“I’d rather eat a whole bag of pecans than spend another minute with you.” “…” “And I’m allergic to pecans.” “Yeah I got that.”

“Grief is the price we pay for love. Ask yourself if it’s worth it.”

“Get me out of here, now!” “What’s in it for me?” “Your head.” “… Alright.”

“I can’t do this anymore.” “You don’t have a choice.”

“I just want to make sure you’re ok.” “That’s very sweet of you but please stop flashing that flashlight into my eye every two seconds.”

“You want to what now?” “Open a bakery.” “That’s weird, I never saw you as the bakery type.” “Why not?” “Well for starters you’ve killed fifty people over the last two days.”

“I’m going to make you go first.” “Of course you are.”

“This makes no sense.” “Shut up.”

“I’d rather be stuck in a time-loop playing Monopoly forever than do that again.”

“Don’t take it personal, they always argue with people they like.” “I do not!”

“It’s of elvish make!” “Look, I don’t care if Elvis made it-” “… I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that.”

“Look upon me and fear!” “You’re 5'2” I could stomp you to death with one foot.“

"I’ve never used this before.” “It’ll be fine, just don’t- Don’t do that.”

“Can you cook me some-” “No.” “You didn’t even hear what I wanted you to make!” “Doesn’t matter. I’m never going into that kitchen ever again.” “What happened in there the last time?” “Horrors. Horrors you can’t imagine.”

“Careful!” “I’m always careful.” “That’s the biggest lie I’ve ever heard.”

“It’s just personal preference.” “Whether or not to kill someone is not personal preference!”

“I wish you’d stop doing that.” “And I wish you’d stop being so annoying. Guess neither of us are getting what we want anytime soon, huh?”

“I hate you.” “I hate you too.” “… So, want to be friends?” “Sure.”

“I can’t believe you actually spent your money on this.” “I know, right?! You can’t put a price on this thing, baby!” “That’s.. that’s not what I meant.”

“Look, it’s obvious we won’t come to an agreement on this.” “Right.” “That leaves us only one choice, doesn’t it?” “Yes.” “Fight to the death-” “-Dance off.” “…”

“What would make you think I actually cared about you?” “Oh, please. You and I know both know the truth. You’re just too much of a coward to admit it.”

“Hey, are you listening to me?” “Sorry it’s just really hard to focus when you look like that”

“This is… interesting.” “No, this is wrong! This is vile, it’s disgusting!” “… Interesting.”

“For the hundredth time, constructive criticism about your cooking is not a personal attack-” “Then why did you say it in that tone?!”

“Don’t make me choose. Please don’t make me choose.”

“Well, they’re certainly sprightly, aren’t they?” “I don’t know what that means but yeah it sounds right.”

“Why do you always think the worst of people?” “Just saving time.”

“I just want you to push me up against the wall and shake me real good!” “Can this please wait we’re at Costco”

“Do you think they’d christen the baby with a squirt gun if we asked?” “… Why would we ask them about that?” “Do you think they would or no?”

“You wanna know what I think?” “No, but you’re probably going to tell me anyway.”

“I love you.” “Yikes, let’s not get into that right now.”

“Don’t talk to me!” “Please it was just a game of Monopoly-” “Silence!!”

“To save you the time and me the breath,”

“I know who you are.” “Oh, so you’ve heard of me?” “Your face is everywhere it’s kind of hard to ignore.” “Right.”

“Ye shall not pass!” “Please I just really need to pee!”

“I can’t believe they’re gone…” “Good riddance if you ask me!” “NOT at thE FUNERAL!”

“Don’t worry, I put the ‘fun’ in 'funeral’!” “I don’t want to find out what that’s supposed to mean.” “Oh, don’t worry, you will!”

“Look what you did!!” “You’re saying that like it wasn’t the point?”

“Every moment with you is a living nightmare.” “I’m glad.”

“Everyone has a weakness. Yours seems to be that you think you don’t have one.”

“There is a darkness deep within me… No matter my efforts it never ceases to claw at my heart, filling me with dread and despair day and night as I sleep and wake in a never ending cycle of doom and disaster, knowing I shall never be set free from the traps of time and torture within me..” “… Are you ok dude?”

“May I presume that you are, indeed, an idiot?” “Yes, you may.”

“I have to talk to you.” “Ok.” “And you need to actually listen.” “Oh..”

“Why on earth do you think I’m into you??” “You always use that sweet nickname for me, remember?” “'Stupid moron’ is not a sweet nickname!!”

“Don’t worry, nobody’s gonna see me.” “Someone is definitely going to see you.” “Why?” “Look at yourself!”

“Why are you so heinously incompetent?” “Can you please calm down, it’s only Monday morning.”

“Why are you smiling? I’m not dead yet, you know.”

“Hey babe, can you let me in? I forgot my keys.” “What’s the password?” “Can we not do this again we’ve lived together for five years-” “The PASSWORD!!!”

“Life is like a game of Monopoly, sweetheart. Equally chaotic and confusing with or without a plan.”

“I’m sorry I can’t go, I avoid any social situations at all costs.” “It’s our wedding-”

“Why are you so annoying?” “Why are you so mad about it?”

“Here are my final thoughts: You are stupid and this plan was dumb.” “Thank you.” “You’re welcome.”

“I’m sorry, I tried, I really did… I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.”

“Please go away.” “We’re handcuffed together, how am I supposed to-”

“I love you with every fiber of my being.” “You’re a ghost so that really isn’t saying much sweetie.”

“Wait, you like me?” “Yeah, isn’t it obvious?” “You sure have a funny way of showing it!”

“I hate you!” “Well now we at least have one thing in common.”

“Listen, if ABBA could come together after both of their divorces and make more music together afterward, you can do this!” “Well after that passionate speech I guess I have no choice.”

“Sure, he’s handsome, but can he cook pecan pie without a recipe?” “Why would that matter?” “Answer the question!”

“You can disagree all you want but that doesn’t make me any less right.”

“You can’t make fun of me.” “Says who?” “Your ugly face, that’s who!”

“This has ‘This Will End Badly’ written all over it. Ready to go?”

“What happened in here?” “See, you ask me that but I don’t really know where to start-”

“Stop always asking me questions you know I don’t know the answer to.”

“I just wish things would make sense for a change.” “I wouldn’t count on it.”

“That’s *name*, otherwise known around these parts as the big dipshit.” “Oh, nice.”

“I’m not qualified to do this, but it’s never stopped me before, so I guess here goes nothing!”

“Oh, trust me, I can dance!” “Is that you or the tequila talking?”

“I don’t know what I thought was going to happen, but this was definitely not it.”

“What was that noise?” “What noise?”

“Gimme, gimmie, gimme a… serotonin.” “Are you ok?”

“Hi, nice to meet you. Prepare to be killed.”

“Where are we??” “Gee, I’m so glad you asked. Let me just activate my google maps implant and-”

“Hey, do you remember that time when-” “No. No, I do not. No further questions, please.”

“Why are you so upset all of the sudden?” “You killed my dad!” “Right, that.”

“I love you.” “Are we playing a game of telephone I don’t know about? What’s going on?”

“Don’t be stupid, I’m not in love with them! Why would you think that?” “Well for one thing you haven’t been able to close their facebook page from your browser in five weeks, so-”

“I just need someone to tell me they’re glad I’m alive.” “I am. So unbelievably glad, more than you could ever imagine.”

“Why aren’t you talking to me?” “Because I’m mad at you.” “Why?” “Need I remind you–”

“You’re everything I’ve ever dreamt of.” “So you’ve only ever had nightmares, huh?” “Yeah.”

“Isn’t it time for you to go to bed?” “Isn’t it time for you to mind your business??” “… Ok. Bed, now.”

“Are you drunk?” “Nooo, whyyy?” “Because you just told me you want to carry me around like a sloth baby.” “Ooooh my little sloth babyyyy!”

“Hon, it’s 4 am, why are you up?” “I… I just have to organize this bookcase…” “*sigh* ok, which is it, by height or color?”

“What did you say?” “WhAt DiD yOu SaY?” “STOP!”

“AHH!!” “What?? What is it?” “Why can you bend like that?!”

“I love you.” “YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW- Oh, wait, hold on-”

“That’s interesting.” “… You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?” “Not a clue.”

You come here often?“ "I- … We both live here.”

“I’m sorry but looking like that has to be a punishable offense.”

“Are you lying?” “Why would I lie?” “Because we’re sworn enemies and hate each other’s guts?” “Oh, right, that. Forgot”

“What are you doing??” “Bold of you to assume I’d have an answer to that question.”

“… Are you singing to yourself?” “Oh, yeah, sorry, I didn’t notice.” “No, please, keep singing. It’s nice.”

“Are you okay?” “No. But I will be, with time. I hope”

“Should we do something about this??” “… Or we could just do nothing?” “Yeah let’s do that.”

“How was the cult meeting?” “For the last time, family dinner is not-

"If you so much as look in their direction again, I will kill you, is that clear?”

“What are you doing here? I thought you were dead.”

“How long have you been having these nightmares?” “For months… I just need them to stop. I’ll do anything to make them stop.” “Anything?” “Anything.”

“I haven’t seen you since you blacked out and threw up in my shoes at that party last year.” “… So is that a ‘no’ to the date, or…?”

“Bro you must have the most selective hearing known to man.” “… Sorry, did you say something?” “AAARRRGH!!”

“I miss you. Please come home. Please.”

“He’s got a stick of something stuck up somewhere is you know what I mean.” “Nice.”

“I love you more than I love Ewan McGregor.” “Wow, babe, do you really mean that?” “…. yes.”

“Bro I’m pissed, you really can’t have s#!t in Detroit.” “…I gotta be honest, half the time I have no idea what you’re saying.”

“You really should get a grip.” “You’re one to talk!”

“Why did you do that?!” “I was just trying to be cool.” “Well, it did not work.”

“I gotta tell you, I don’t like our odds on this one.” “Since when has that ever stopped us?” “Just thought I’d mention it.”

“So, about last night…”

“How do you feel?” “Torn apart.”

“And you can be sure of this: I will never cry over it. Never.”

“This isn’t a competition, you know.” “Spoken like a true loser.”

“Hey, it’s me, hope you’re doing well.” “My dog died last night.” “Aw. Anyway-”

“I’m sorry, ok? Here, I brought cookies!” “You killed five people.” “Not a raisin person I see. Noted.”

“Where’s the kid??” “The what?” “You remember that you were supposed to pick them up today, right?” “… I gotta go real quick-” “I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!”

“I can’t do it, I can’t…” “You don’t have a choice.”

“And whatever you do, don’t-” “Don’t what?” “… Do that.”

“I haven’t wanted anyone this bad in a long time.” “I hate that I have to ask this, but do you mean that in a romantic or violent way?” “Both.”

“How do you stay so good, even through all of this?”

“I need you to stay alive… please… I don’t know how to live without you.”

“I’m really glad you feel that you can be honest with me.” “Well you drugged me so I didn’t really have a choice-” “Shh. I really love the growth our relationship is going through.”

“Are you ok? And don’t lie to me.”

“Taken your meds today?” “Yeah, why do you ask?” “No reason.”

“I feel like I’m gonna throw up.” “Please don’t, this car’s new-”

“I think I’m ok now…” “You’re not.” “Why do you care, anyway? Aren’t you supposed to hate me?” “Be quiet. Lie still.”

“Ok bestie, I see what you’re saying.” “Please stop talking like that.”

“Ok, fine, it’s on. You. Me. Karaoke at eight.” “What kind of threat is that??” “You’ll see.”

“Did you just kick that guy in the nuts for no reason??” “Yeah, that’s feminism, baby!” “No, no, it’s really not-”

“Inhumane. Disgusting. I can’t believe you’d do something like that.” “Give me a break-” “Say hello to Geoffrey RIGHT NOW.” “He’s a dog, why do I have to-” “SAY IT!” “…. hello, Geoffrey.”

“Citation needed, please.”

“I don’t like the cut of their jib.” “Do you have to talk like that?” “Talk like what?” “Never mind.”

“We shouldn’t do this, it’s not right.” “Ok Mr. Geneva Conventions.”

“Now, kneel before me. Kneel!”

“Hey, come here a sec.” “Are you going to serenade me about how I’m the love of your life and how your universe would have no light if I weren’t in it?” “No?” “Then no.”

“You got what you wanted, didn’t you?” “I didn’t want it like this! Not like this…”

“I know it’s not much, but, maybe I could hold you, just for a little while.”

“If you want even the slightest chance of surviving this, you have to do exactly as I say, got it?”

“If only one of us is can make it out of here alive… it’s gonna be me.”

“Honey, what’s going on? Why are you crying?” “*sniffs* What if they don’t like the wrapping paper on the gift?” “They will, honey, don’t worry. Go back to sleep.” “Are you sure?” “One hundred percent. Trust me.” “Okay.”

“This is outrageous!” “Sweetheart, you have to calm down.”

“Back then I honestly didn’t think it could get any worse. But then I met them, and I thought, uh oh.” “And we’ve been inseparable ever since.”

“How was your day?” “Nice. Why do you ask?” “Because I wanted to make sure you had a nice last day before I kill you”

“Where are the others?” “You mean the scum you call friends?” “Yes, now where are they?”

“You’re an idiot.” “Takes one to know one.”

“Why did you do that?? I got what you were saying, I didn’t need a demonstration!”

“Listen, we don’t want any trouble.” “Well I guess that’s too bad, cuz I do.”

“What are you laughing at?- Actually, I don’t wanna know.”

“If only one of us is can make it out of here alive… it’s gonna be me.”

“This is outrageous!” “Sweetheart, you have to calm down.”

“Back then I honestly didn’t think it could get any worse. But then I met them, and I thought, uh oh.” “And we’ve been inseparable ever since.”

“How was your day?” “Nice. Why do you ask?” “Because I wanted to make sure you had a nice last day before I kill you”

“Where are the others?” “You mean the scum you call friends?” “Yes, now where are they?”

“You’re an idiot.” “Takes one to know one.”

“Why did you do that?? I got what you were saying, I didn’t need a demonstration!”

“Listen, we don’t want any trouble.” “Well I guess that’s too bad, cuz I do.”

“What are you laughing at?- Actually, I don’t wanna know.”

“Happy birthday!” “My birthday was a month ago.” “Yikes.”

“So what are you doing to celebrate this year?” “The same thing I always do.” “Wallow in loneliness and self-loathing?” “Yup.”

“Tomorrow would’ve been their twenty-first birthday.” “Would have been?” “Yes. As in I’m going to kill them so they won’t live to see it.”

“I never thought I’d live to see this day.” “I’m so glad you have.” “Me too.”

“Happy birthday.” “How’d you know it’s my birthday?” “Just a lucky guess. Anyway, here’s your ID.” “Where did you get that??”

“I hope you like it, baby.” “Aw, this is so sweet, you shouldn’t have-” “… Well?” “Sweetie, what is that?”

“I know you usually hate celebrating your birthday, so I thought I’d make it a little bit extra special.” “By kidnapping me?” “Now you’re being a little dramatic.”

“Happy birthday!” “Didn’t we celebrate my birthday last year?” “Birthdays are kind of an annual thing.” “Oh.”

“I just want this day to go by in silence, ok?” “Sure, whatever you want.” “Thank you.”

“Do you know what kind of cake they’d like?” “How am I supposed to know that? Cake-preference isn’t really a common topic of conversation on the battlefield.”

“I need a reason to stay.” “I can’t give you any. Not any good ones, anyway.” “A bad one will do.”

“Want to know why everyone hates you? It’s because you are so obviously the envy of everyone in this room and yet totally unaware of it. It’s infuriating.”

“Remember that summer by the cabin when we stole your grandad’s boat and got stuck in the middle of the lake?” “I remember you being the reason we got stuck because you dropped one of the oars in the water.”

“Come, dance with me.”

“I don’t regret a single second I’ve spent with you.”

“You make me miserable, you know that?” “Then how come you’re smiling?”

“Don’t open your eyes yet!”

“You can’t tell me what to do.” “Listen, normally I’d let you do what you want, but when that thing involves holding a knife to my face, I feel like I should get to have some say.”

“Now, I’m not saying if I saw them in a burning building I would leave them in there, but-”

“Why does every outing with you have to turn into some sort of ethical dilemma?” “More fun that way.”

“So, yeah, anyway. Where was I?” “You’d just killed your brother with a teacup.” “Right. So, he comes back to life-”

“Boy, have I got news for you!”

“According to my sources, that’s a load of bullshit.” “What sources?” “How about my common sense?”

“Never you mind!”

“I’m not mad, she had to do what she had to do.” “She kidnapped your mom!” “I’m just saying,”

“I’m not so sure about this…” “That’s why you’re not the one in charge!”

“Suck it up buttercup, we’ve got work to do.”

“That’s interesting, but have you considered this…” “… what?” “Therapy?”

“I’d like to suggest a heart-to-heart conversation about this, but considering you don’t have one, that’d be difficult.” “Quite.”

“What happened here?” “I-” “No, stop, I don’t want to know.”

“You’re the eager kind, I see.” “No, just impatient.”

“I had no time to think, so I made a judgment call. But, as I should have known from previous experience, I have very poor judgment.”

“Well, what if you-” “No.” “What?” “I don’t want advice, I just want to complain.” “All right. Go off then, I guess.”

“I’m so single even my mom won’t return my calls.” “Your mom is dead, sweetie.” “I know, but still.”

“Just get it done; it doesn’t much matter how.” “… Machete?” “Yes.” “Gun?” “Yes.” “Lazer gun?” “Yes.” “Rabid monkey?” “Yes.” “Hm… what about a voice-activated fighting drone that shoots lemon juice into people’s eyes-” “JUST GET IT DONE!”

“How was your day?” “Oh, you know, the usual.” “I doubt there’s much ‘usual’ about your usual day.” “I won’t fight you on that one.”

“Well, what do you think?” “He’s nice.” “And?” “And I hate him with every fiber of my being.” “Why am I not surprised.”

“What are you doing?” “Waiting for inspiration to strike.” “How’s it going so far?” “Not good.”

“Crap, what do we do?!” “I don’t know! I majored in physics not in fighting big ugly monsters!” “Look, I don’t think calling it ugly is helping!”

“If nothing’s killed me so far, I doubt this will.” “One can only hope.”

“If we lose this-” “It’s just a game of Capture the Flag honey, it’s not that serious-” “If we lose this, I’m divorcing you.”

“What do you want from me?” “You’ll see soon enough.”

“Can I ask you a favor?” “Can you ask me? Yes. Will I do it?” “… you haven’t even heard what I was going to ask-” “No.”

“Never underestimate the power of a well-timed prank, young padawan.” “See, this is why I never introduce you to people.”

“Not to sound desperate, but, we’re desperate.”

“Don’t ever ask me about that again, is that clear?”

“Hear that?” “Hear what?”

“There you are! I’ve missed you!” “What- What’s going on?”

“Am I supposed to know who you are?”

“I’m bored, wanna do something?” “Sure, what do you want to-” “Bank robbery.” “…” “…” “Should I be concerned?”

“Please, tell me what’s wrong.” “*sigh* Lately, I don’t know, I guess I just don’t feel seen.” “Well, I am blind, darling.” “Yes, of course, sorry. My bad.”

“I love you.” “I don’t believe that.” “Doesn’t change the fact that I do.”

“What’s it going to take to convince you?”

“I’m in love with you.” “… What in the world for?”

“I would prefer death to this.” “I really wish you’d stop talking like that.”

“Why is your face purple?”

“I haven’t felt like this in a long time.”

“But I’ve realized that I’ll never be enough for you. And as much as it hurts me to say it, I’ve realized that you’ll never be enough for me, either.”

“I’m so nervous.” “It’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

“I was fine on my own, and then you came waltzing in with your long eyelashes and beautiful smile, and now look at me, I’m a mess of epic proportions. And it’s all your fault.”

“Something tells me I’m going to regret this.”

“This will be a lot easier for the both of us if you don’t fight.”

“Fighting is a lot more intimate than undressing, don’t you think?”

“What, you’re not hungry?” “Not hungry enough to eat whatever that is.”

“Why do you have to be so difficult? Sit still!”

“Get out of the way kid, this is none of your business.” “Oh no you don’t. If anyone’s going to kill her, it’s gonna be me.”

“This is getting ugly. We have to leave, now.”

“Don’t you realize that I’m only trying to protect you?”

“I want to stay with you.” “You know I’d never let you do that.” “Why?!” “Why do you think?!”

“Wait, were you worried about me?” “Don’t flatter yourself, I just didn’t want to have to deal with your corpse.”

“Look, I’m sorry I burned your house down and eradicated your entire family, but I think it’s time for you to stop holding a grudge.”

“Don’t give me that. You meant what you said and you know it.”

“All of that to say… I hate you and I wish you were dead.”

“Man, what’s up with that guy?” “He’s just like that. You get used to it. I hope.”

“Don’t you think you’re being a little overdramatic?” “I will literally set you on fire right now.”

“Don’t you think you should reconsider your copious intake of *insert food/drink*?” “Don’t you think you should shut your mouth?”

“This seems like a needlessly complicated way to do this.” “Well I’m in charge so if you have any better suggestions you’re free to keep them to yourself.”

“You want to tell me what’s going on here?” “No, no. Definitely not.”

“Will you stop that?” “Stop what? I wasn’t doing anything!” “I know. Just thought I’d save us the time for when you eventually do something.”

“I haven’t let a man speak to me that way since 2005, and I certainly am not about to now.”

“I promise you’ll be okay.” “What about you?” “Don’t worry about me. Just get out and don’t look back.” “But-” “Promise me.”

“We’re gonna need a whole lot of glitter glue to get out of this one, ladies.”

“That’s my girl.”

“You’re crazy!” “Oh, honey, rest assured, you don’t even know the half of it.”

“How can you be so calm right now?!” “Worrying won’t change anything. You need to calm down.” “Don’t tell me to calm down! You just blew that guy’s head off!!”

“Why are you wearing that thing?” “What thing?” “For goodness sake- YOU’RE WEARING A TRAFFIC CONE ON YOUR HEAD!”

“Don’t you realize how much is at stake?” “You know I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

“That’s embarrassing.”

“Look, I’m not any more thrilled about this than you are, but can we pretend to like each other for one night?” “All right, fine. But just know that I’ll be wanting to throw up the whole time.” “Likewise.”

“Wait, are you saying what I think you’re saying?” “That kind of depends on what you think I’m saying. But, yeah, sure.”

“What’s wrong with your face?” “What do you mean?” “Oh, wait- You always look like that? Yikes.”

“I would strongly encourage you not to do that.” “Why?” “You don’t want to know.”

“Come with me, please.”

“What’s that smell?”

“You kiss your mother with that mouth?” “Well, your mom never complained.”

“Just admit defeat, you’re completely powerless.” “Maybe. But that doesn’t mean I’m defeated just yet.”

“I’m here to do a job. Feelings have nothing to do with it.” “How naïve. Feelings have everything to do with it.”

“So how do you two know each other?” “We’re married.” “Oh!”

“How dare you speak to me that way?”

“I can’t go in there! Are you crazy?” “And why on earth not?” “Look how I’m dressed!” “Darling, you could wear a potato sack and still be the marvel in any room. Now let’s go show them, shall we?”

“Trust me, you’re doing great, just keep going.” “I’m so scared, I can’t do this!!” “Yes, you can. Trust me, you’re almost there!”

“I’m quite proud of you.”

“How do I know I can trust you?” “Well you’ll be dead in about two minutes if you don’t, but it’s up to you.”

“I would be lying if I said I didn’t see the signs… But then again I’m dyslexic, so-”

“Man, not this guy again…” “What?” “I’ve killed that guy five times already but he keeps coming back, it’s really starting to get on my nerves… Wait here, I’ll be right back.”

“You’re not scared of me. I like that.”

“What’s going on??” “Be quiet.” “Why?” “I’m grieving.” “Grieving what?” “My dignity.”

“Well I might not be the smartest guy around, but even a broken clock is right once a day!” “No, that’s… That’s not…”

“Do you see now why everyone hates you?” “Yes, isn’t it marvelous!”

“Are you ok?” “Please don’t ask me that.”

“Where are you going?” “I don’t know yet. But I’ll let you know when I get there.”

“Just because I’m not allowed to do it doesn’t mean I can’t do it. There’s a difference!”

“Enough talking. You came here to play, didn’t you? So, let’s play.”

“He’s dangerous.” “How? He seems nice.” “Exactly; he’s charming. And charm is a man’s most effective weapon.”

“Stop talking, please. Your voice is shrill and piercing and thoroughly unpleasant.” “A simple ‘shut up’ would suffice, you know.”

“I’m having murder thoughts. Come back later.”

“I can’t do it!” “Just shoot your shot, dude. One day they’ll be dead and so will you.”

“I’m so sorry I hurt you.” “Don’t sweat it, I could’ve just as easily have hurt you.” “Well, it’s cute that you think that.”

“May I thunder victoriously against him in the battle for your heart, my sweetest one.”

“What’s going on?!” “Just do as I say and ask questions later!”

“All right, that’s it! Your bloodline ends here!”

“This doesn’t look very promising, does it?” “In my humble opinion? No.”

“Is that mistletoe I see?” “I’m pretty sure that’s poison ivy, actually.” “Well, I’m not picky.”

“Am I crazy, or-” “Yes.” “… You didn’t even hear what I-” “Don’t need to.”

“I’ve loved you from the first moment I ever laid eyes on you.” “Wasn’t that at that party when I was hurling my guts out into the toilet?” “Okay so maybe not the very first moment,”

“Hate you.” “Hate you too. Have a nice day, sweetie.” “You too, babe. See you after work.”

“You followed a recipe this time, right?”

“Are we really about to have this discussion again?” “Yes, and we will keep having it until you realize that I’m right and you’re wrong!”

“How did you end up way out here?”

“Let me tell you something.” “Hm?” “If anyone were ever to write a biography about you, it’d be called The Life of a Dumbass. And situations like this are the exact reason why!”

“Why?” “I don’t know why, and I don’t care why!”

“I’ll give you a word of advice: never wear two pairs of socks.”

“I learned at seventeen why you should never ever wear two pairs of socks.”

“I’m a little kerfuffled.”

“That’s a good example of childhood trauma she hasn’t recovered from.”

“Maybe the oldies are onto something with this.”

“I’m forever in your debt, my friend.” “Just buy me a burger and we’ll call it even, okay?”

“I’ve given this a lot of thought, and I think you may be overthinking this.”

“I just want to be with someone who makes me want to live. Someone who makes me glad I’m alive, who’ll make me see the beauty of it. Right now, all I can see is the pain. I want to smile again.”

“I thought you didn’t care about me.” “Only you would be stupid enough to think that.”

“I know you’re a little behind the times, but that’s extreme even for you.”

“It’s scary.” “All of life is scary, sweetheart. But you can’t give up.”

“He’s a complete and utter grump and she’s a precious ray of sunshine. It’s meant to be.”

“Whew, glad that’s over!”

“Everyone’s going to see straight through this.” “No way, I paid top dollar for this!” “Where, the dollar store?!”

“I’m really nervous.” “Me too.” “Yeah?” “Yeah.”

“I had a really good time tonight.”

“You look gorgeous. As always.”

“Look, kid, this isn’t personal. It’s just business.” “You stole my grandfather’s ashes!” “Again, nothing personal.”

“Wow, I’ve never seen such a terrible bowler in my entire life.” “Shut up!”

“But just so you know, I intend on being as confusing and annoying as possible the entire time.”

“In terms of sense, there is none detected.”

“I can fix this, I can fix this!” “How?!” “I don’t know, but I can!!”

“Whatever you decide, whether I agree with your decision or not, I’ll support you.”

“Have you seen my bee-jar?” “Your what-now?” “My jar full of bees. Thought that’d be pretty self-explanatory.” “Yeah, I got that part,”

“Being a rational person, I’d strongly advise you against doing this. But I’m also a curious person, so by all means, go ahead.”

“Down, boy.”

“I feel conflicted.” “Why?”

“You obviously aren’t able to take care of yourself right now, so, just for now, I’m going to do it for you. But just know I’m not happy about it.”

“Maybe, just maybe, this was a bad idea.” “You think?!”

“I’ve done a lot of stupid things, but that was by far the stupidest.”

“This is not an insult, just an observation,”

“Oh no! … Anyway.”

“Just seems like everyone’s coming after me these days.” “Wonder why.”

“Room’s a mess, just the way you like it.”

"Don't be fooled, what you're witnessing is a crime."

"Just you wait."

"Deep breaths, come on. Deep breaths."

"This stuff is intoxicating." "Thanks!" "As in poisonous." "Oh."

"What do you mean 'why am I laughing'?!"

"Don't ever say I never do anything for you."

"You thought I wouldn't notice, huh?" "Shut up."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"What's so funny?"

"Is that a fact or are you just guessing?" "Do you even have to ask?"

"Look what I found!" "Oh, wonderful honey, wonderful, let me see. What is that...? IS THAT A SNAKE?!"

"Why are you doing that?" "I'm a little forgetful these days, so I need these notes to remind me of things." "You won't forget me, right?" "Oh, never! And if it ever seems like I have, I'm just playing a game, so you just play along, ok?" "Ok!"

"Look at my dress!" "Spectacular. Stunning. Slay."

"Have you seen my glasses?" "You mean the ones on the top of your head?"

"I picked you these flowers." "Daisies! My favorite!"

"I'll tell you, the world's a lot different now from when I was your age." "How?"

"Tell me a story!" "I think you've heard all of my stories, honey... Well, except one."

"I'm not interested in that stuff anymore, grandma/grandpa." "Pity me, I guess I missed the newsletter in which that announcement was made!"

"Did you really make these?" "Yes, I did." "Can you show me how?"

"Why are you walking like that?" "I put my leg on the wrong way this morning, I think!"

"I will not accept defeat. You either win, or you die." "All right, calm down, dude."

"Over my dead body."

"Why are you doing that?" "I'll give you a hint: Revenge."

"You have to leave. Now!"

"This is without a doubt going to have international implications." "It's just pie, honey-" "Just pie?!"

"Don't you think they're a little young for this?"

"Why did you do this to me?"

"You shouldn't be here!" "Neither should you!"

"Let's have a glass of milk and calmly discuss this like adults."

"Together?" "Together."

"Watch this." "Do I have to?"

"Like braids in short hair, I too am barely holding it together."

"I'm burnt out." "We just started!"

"I actually hold a world record." "Oh, cool! In what?" "Dumbassery."

"What's that smell?"

"How's that fair?"

"When I wake up I'm afraid of the idea of facing the day." "I'm sorry to ask this, but, are you... are you quoting Adele?"

"Take no pity, take no prisoners."

"If I'd known I'd have brought some flowers!"

"Meet me at the hotel room." "Ok, Mr. Pitbull."

"He's an evil prick." "Isn't he-" "My husband? Yes."

"I've come to steal and plunder, fellas."

"Smile!"

"As they say, sharing is caring." "I don't think it applies in this situation."

"Play me something." "I haven't played in so long, I don't know..." "Please."

"If I'm going down-" "I'm going with you. I know, I know."

"I'll do whatever's necessary." "I hope so. For your sake. And for the sake of your loved ones."

"How's that even possible??" "We don't know."

"It's always excuses with you!"

"Out of all the people I hate, I hate you the most." "Aw, you really mean that?"

"I haven't been this stressed since I led the conga-line at Uncle Larry's wedding."

"You know... maybe I'm the problem." "You think?!"

"Now what in the fresh-" "My mother's here!" "-homemade bread is going on here? Roberta! Good to see you."

"It is as I suspected, he's a moron."

"Uh oh." "What do you mean 'uh oh'?!"

"Why are you shaking?"

"You're making it really hard for me to play nice right now."

"Tomorrow, he dies."

"Look at this plant!!"

"I'm hearing a lot of accusations and not seeing a whole lot of evidence!" "The dishes are right there!" "... Touché."

"It's time to get the old noggin' joggin', fellas."

"You're coming home with me."

"Please go buy some furniture, I'm begging, this is so sad."

"I suggest you get my name out of your mouth with quickness and haste, honey."

"He just told me I'm Corbin Bleu-ing it, what does that mean?" "I'm so sorry, he means to say that you're pushing it." "... To the limit?" "...Yeah."

"Does he always talk using movie references, or...?" "For my own sanity's sake, I'd prefer not to answer that."

"It's crime time, boys!"

"We're on the same page here." "Yeah, in different books!"

"It's time for you to step up."

"I'll take it from here."

"I'm trying my hardest not to be creepy here." "Yeah, well, try harder."

"Poor baby."

"How you like me now?"

"For once I'm going to need you to work with me instead of against me." "What's in it for me?"

"Come again?"

"You heard what I said."

"Can I ask you for some advice?" "Sure, but there's no quality guarantee." "Obviously."

"Why is she doing that?"

"I fear this is a real threat to my mental stability." "What mental stability?"

"Given the choice of failing on the cautious side and failing on the risky side, I've found the best place to land is in the middle."

"Be forewarned: I'm about to become ten times more insufferable."

"Since when do you knit?" "Since when did I give you permission to be all up in my business? Exactly. So shut up."

"Get in here, right now!"

"And I've been clear on that since the beginning."

"Give me the keys!"

"There's no way, there's just no way."

"Since when?"

"Is this what love is supposed to feel like?"

"I'm not going to let how I look, dictate the way I live my life."

"I feel like I'm gonna throw up." "It's cuz you're always on that phone!"

"I hate you." "Marry me."

"Life is a highway, and I'm always stuck in traffic."

"Bestie I will tear you to shreds."

"Your mother didn't carry you for nine months for you to behave like this." "You don't know my mom at all, do you?"

"Great, so out of two hundred-and-sixteen passengers there's not a single pilot/captain/doctor on board, but we've got five marine biologists, two graphic designers, ten chefs, one Banksy impersonator, and four composers. Fantastic. We're all gonna die." "Anyone here a funeral directory by any chance?"

"Why would you lie about something like that?"

"Stop being so dramatic." "There's a bone sticking out of my arm!" "And?"

"¿Como es?" "I don't speak french, sorry." "*visible confusion*"

"Boo, you psychopath."

"Make no mistake, vengeance will be ours." "Grandma-"

"I know you don't mean to, but sometimes you come across as very villainous."

"Do I regret it? Absolutely. Would I do it again? Without a doubt."

"You've got a real attitude problem, kid." "That's just his personality, sir."

"This isn't a competition, dude." "You're right, it's not even close!" "That's not what I meant."

"I want to go home..." "I know, I know. We will, soon, okay?"

"I've decided to be nice." "... Why?"

"Could you please shut up and stop being so annoying?" "Sorry, you're gonna have to pick one, I can't do both."

"Do you recognize this?" "Where did you find that?"

"Here, you're gonna need this." "Is that a machine gun? Who brings a machine gun to lunch??"

"And when I rule the world,-" "Don't you mean 'if'?" "... As I was saying, when I rule the world,"

"Why is no one dead?"

"Riveting."

"Fascinating."

"I hate that I can't tell whether you're joking or not."

"Why are you doing that? This is not a thumbs-up situation."

"You better watch your back!"

"This is feminism, baby." "It's really not..."

"Who still asks for permission?"

"Lighten up, it's tradition!"

"You hungry?" "Famished."

"That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, and I’ve been listening to myself speak for twenty years."

"Let’s just say we have unfinished business."

"You're in my way. Move."

"Don't worry, it'll all make sense later." "I sincerely doubt that."

"Do you have to wear that?"

"You drugged them?!" "Yeah, what's the problem?"

"Are you always this jittery?"

"What are you doing?" "Tidying." "...Why?"

"Listen here, ugly."

"Let me throw up real quick-"

"Since when are you part of the group?" "Since I can beat up all your asses, that's when." "...I'll give you that."

"Any questions?" "Several. First of,"

"Pay attention, this is important."

"I get the feeling that you don't like me very much." "I don't."

"This feels illegal." "It's not, I checked." "That doesn't make me feel better."

"Are you two fighting again?!"

"On the bright side, it can't get any worse." "I strongly doubt that."

"You can keep telling yourself that, but it won't change what happened."

"And who's going to pay for this?"

"Coming from you, that doesn't really mean much."

2K notes · View notes

melsie-sims · 2 years

Text

I’m going on vacation!

I’m going camping deep in the bush for a week from July 15 to the 22!

Although the cabin I’ll be staying in is supposed to have wi-fi, I don’t expect it to be great... if it works at all. If you’re wondering why I’ve only been posting 3 times a day compared to my usual 7-8 posts per day... that’s why! I’m trying to have a decent amount of content to last me until the end of the month.

Of course that means I won’t be here to get hyped up about the High School pack with everyone... but you can bet your ass when I get back home and get through updating all of my mods again... I’m gonna be playing it! It’s actually a pack I’ll get to use for my BACC so that’s super exciting!

So here’s the deal when it comes to my three on-going stories/series. A lot of this will depend on factors out of my control, like EA fixing their bugs and how many mods break with the High School update.

MY BUILD A CITY CHALLENGE...

I have plenty of content to last me through the month so no worries there!

I won’t be playing any households with babies until the toddler glitch is fixed but I do have a few households I can play still once I get back from my vacation on the 22nd. Once I’m through all of those, if EA hasn’t fixed the bug, then I may have to take a short hiatus for this series.

I’m assuming they’ll have it fixed by then though! It should take me the whole summer to get through these 2-3 households after the Leprince-Flynn family.

MY EXTREME DECADES CHALLENGE...

Unfortunately, I’m completely out of posts for this one and it makes me soooo sad because I’ve been dying to play it again. We’ll be on hiatus until the toddler glitch is fixed. I can’t play with broken ass toddlers, sorry.

Until then please go check out @ivyandink‘s Dubois Decades (it’s already in chrono order for you!). It’s pretty similar to mine in terms of setting but edited WAY better and with a much more detailed storyline. I’m kind of obsessed... and it’s been keeping me going while I wait to play my Decades.

MY OCCULT SAVE FILE...

To be honest? Not sure about this one. If I keep going the way I’m going... I’ll probably burn myself out and stop playing it. It’s A LOT of work for one single post... I don’t know how all of those crazy storytelling simblrs do it constantly!!

I don’t think all of this posing is my cup of tea though. I will continue this save but it will be a bit less staged and a bit more gameplay-focused. I have a few more posts left in my drafts that I’ll queue up and then this save will be on hiatus for a little while until I figure out what kind of challenge/gameplay style I wanna do. Probably some kind of Rags to Riches meets Occult Legacy meets multiple families/rotational gameplay. We’ll see in August!

MOAR STUFF??? MAYBE??? WILL IT LEAD TO BURN OUT?? WE’LL SEE!

Knock on wood, but I feel like I’ve gotten pretty good at juggling multiple save files... which was a huge issue for me last year when I attempted it.

I know I have 3 things going on now, but I’ve been wanting to maybe start something new in August. Let me know if you have any challenges you’d like me to check out! I’m considering doing a modified version (aka harder and more long-term) of AussieCassPlays’ Island Challenge. I might also try a random legacy challenge or a LEPacy... those also seem really fun!

Soooo... yeah! I’m still gonna be around for another week but I will be slower at replying to DM’s, asks or WCIFs. I probably won’t be replying to anything at all from the 15th-22nd.

Happy simming!

#sims 4 #just chatting #update

32 notes · View notes

hoe-doroki · 4 years

Text

ana’s bnha x reader masterlist

first updated 11.17.20 last updated 07.13.21 desktop version found here bkdk masterlist: desktop | mobile

fics [38] drabbles [13]

Thanks for dropping by! I want to note that I no longer write x reader and instead am writing bakudeku shipfic. So! By all means, read, like, comment on my fics here! But I can't recommend that you follow me unless you like bakudeku. Hope you enjoy your time here regardless! <3

legend:

character x character

Title w/ link | [rating] | word count | genre

Synopsis

ratings are bracketed: e.g. [g], [t], [m], [e]

[g] - appropriate for general audiences [t] - appropriate for audiences 13+ [m] - contains non-graphic adult themes [e] - explicit, 18+ readers only

🌸 = personal faves

characters x reader: no ship (1), aizawa (2), bakugou (12), endeavor (1), iida (2), kaminari (1), kirishima (4), midoriya (7), shinsou (2), todoroki (19)

Everything is in alphabetical order <3

no ship

2020 Election Night Comfort | [g] | 0.6k | hurt/comfort

The results are in and your class is all with you as you process the results

aizawa x reader

Stress Relief | [e] | 3k | smut

There's a new regulation that forces you to take an extra class before you can graduate college. When you learn that Eraserhead is teaching the class, you’re a little more interested.

2020 Election Night Comfort | [g] | 0.6k | hurt/comfort

Aizawa reminds that you were prepared for this and, together, you can handle it.

bakugou x reader

Can’t Find My Breath | [e] | 4.2k | smut 🌸

At the beginning of the day, Ground Zero was just another hero you wrote articles about. Now it’s nighttime and you’ve just left a bar together. Companion to The Rest with No Sound

Christmas Cold | [g] | 1k | fluff

You and Katsuki manage to make it to your parents' house for the holidays, but you've come down with a little cold.

Doing Something Right | [e] | 1.8k | smut

You’re pregnant and happily enjoying domestic bliss when Katsuki comes in, unable to resist you.

Frustration | [e] | 3.1k | smut

request. After a long day of work, Katsuki comes home frustrated and you, suffering from a different kind of frustration yourself, know exactly what will help you both.

Gorgeous | [e] | 1.5k | smut, hurt/comfort

ask. When you have a negative response to Katsuki touching you in a moment of insecurity, he intends to do whatever he can to alleviate your fears.

version 1: petite reader

version 2: curvy reader

Magic | [e] | 2.2k | smut

request. Katsuki comes home early and catches you...taking care of yourself.

Miniskirts | [e] | 0.8k | smut 🌸

After a long day, Katsuki takes a shower and his thoughts turn to you.

On the Job | [e] | 4.5k | smut 🌸

Super human society has a secret. Aphrodisiac quirks aren’t just of porn and fantasy--they’re common and too often fall into the wrong hands. When heroes get hit, someone has to be able to activate the quirk’s release condition. If they’re single, who might that someone be?

You.

The Rest with No Sound | [t] | 8.5k | slow burn, fluff 🌸

Bakugou thinks that people who wake up not remembering where they are are idiots. This is confirmed when it happens to him, head aching from a night of drinking. Idiot. But when he looks over, and sees you there, he realizes he doesn’t remember anything. So he has to gather the scattered pieces from the day before to figure out exactly how he ended up with you. Companion to Can’t Find My Breath

Stay | [g] | 2.2k | hurt/comfort 🌸

ask. The last thing you want to do on a rough day is worry Bakugou with your problems. So you try to hide it. You should have known better.

Steamy | [e] | 2.7k | smut

request. You're a pro hero, rising in the ranks and, happy though he is for you, Katsuki's old jealousy begins to roil. After you've been paraded around all evening as one of Japan's finest, Katsuki finds himself feeling more than a little possessive, and can't help himself from taking you as his.

Steel and Lace | [e] | 3.8k | smut

The only one who manages to get Bakugou’s birthday right is you.

endeavor x reader

When the Smoke Clears | [e] | 17.4k | slow burn, smut

Soulmate AU. After his battle with Hawks against Hood, Endeavor wakes up in the hospital to find that a young doctor saved his life, their quirk being able to counteract the negative effects of his own. His first thought is that he has to talk to you–you might be able to fix the drawbacks of his quirk. His second thought is oh no, not again.

iida x reader

Broken Glass | [g] | 1.8k | fluff, mild comfort

request. In a quirk-related accident you find yourself surrounded by shattered glass. Worst of all, most of that glass is from every single pair of your boyfriend’s glasses.

Flotsam, Jetsam, Lagan, and Derelict | [g] | 1.5k | hurt/comfort

ask. Trying to hide a panic attack from your boyfriend isn’t easy when he’s right next to you. But you’re determined to suffer alone.

kaminari x reader

2020 Election Night Comfort | [g] | 0.4k | hurt/comfort

You share your unsteady hope with Kaminari.

kirishima x reader

Silhouette | [e] | 1.8k | smut, hurt/comfort

ask. Before a gala, you’re stuck in the mirror, caught on all your old body insecurities. Kiri comes in and loves you regardless.

version 1: petite reader

version 2: curvy reader

We’ll See | [g] | 6.3k | gen, light romance 🌸

demisexual!Reader. After a fateful meeting, you and Kirishima keep running into each other. And although he’s so nice, you fear the fact that he might be interested in you. Even though all you want is, for once, to let yourself be happy and maybe fall in love, you can’t seem to be able to.

What We Look For | [t] | 15.5 | slow burn

Last time, you and Kirishima became friends—nothing more, nothing less. The idea of being something more sounds nice. But you can’t. You just can’t. So you won’t. Whatever happens will be on your own terms. Sequel to We'll See

2020 Election Night Comfort | [g] | 0.4k | hurt/comfort

Kirishima freaks out while you experience a numb calm. You meet in the middle.

midoriya x reader

Bad Days | [g] | 1.4k | hurt/comfort

Izuku helps you get out of bed.

Sunlight | [e] | 2.1k | smut 🌸

request. An early afternoon in bed with your husband, Izuku.

Surprised, Just Once | [e] | 5k | smut

request. You were planning on just another predictable night out with the girls. What you got was much, much more.

2020 Election Night Comfort | [g] | 0.3k | hurt/comfort

Izuku holds you close while you watch the results.

Multiple unrelated oneshots with Deku with an s/o with an eating disorder | ask

Gratitude | [t] | 1.4k | hurt/comfort

After having been with Izuku a while, you’re suffering a relapse and he helps you through with some gratitude practices on date night.

Picnic | [t] | 1.8k | hurt/comfort

Izuku surprises you with a picnic on your second date, much to your horror.

A Start | [t] | 1.2k | hurt/comfort 🌸

You ask Izuku for help when you realize you need it.

Trust Yourself | [t] | 2.3k | hurt/comfort

Shortly after moving in together, Izuku learns of your struggles and tries his best to comfort and encourage you.

shinsou x reader

Passing the Night Stars | [g] | 3.2k | hurt/comfort

The party was neon and you needed darkness.

2020 Election Night Comfort | [g] | 0.4k | hurt/comfort

Shinsou helps you prioritize yourself.

todoroki x reader

All Dressed Up | [e] | 4.6k | smut 🌸

quarantine fic. It’s been months since you’ve dressed up, felt pretty, and felt seen by anyone. Your husband’s birthday is a perfect excuse to get all dressed up. And then take it right off.

All the Wasted Time | [e] | 3.2k | smut, fluff

Three months ago, you’d been ripped from Shouto’s side with something less than a love confession, something more than a show of feelings. Now that you’re back, you’re eager to make up for lost time. Siberia sequel, First Snow prequel

Bad Days | [g] | 0.9k | hurt/comfort 🌸

Shouto comforts you when your demons arrive unexpectedly.

First Snow | [g] | 2.2k | fluff

A year after the events in Siberia, you and Shouto are happily together, and it’s the first snow of the year. Siberia and All the Wasted Time sequel

On the Job | [e] | 3.4k | smut 🌸

You. Sequel to On the Job (Bakugou); can be read alone

Siberia | [e] | 13.8k | pining/angst, smut, fluff 🌸

On the field, you and Todoroki are rising stars amongst hero pairings. Off the field…you’re kind of in love with him. After a successful capture, you’re boss brings you in to let you know you’re being sent on assignment in foreign country…alone. Before you leave, you have to act. You’re not partners anymore, after all. And with a little liquid courage you do. Then, the next morning, you still have to leave. All the Wasted Time and First Snow prequel.

Worth it | [t] | 0.3k | gen

The morning after with your boyfriend, Shouto.

2021 Election Night Comfort | [g] | 0.5k | hurt/comfort

The stress of election day comes back swiftly during the Georgia runoff and Todoroki’s quick to notice.

all works below are within the world of the a spare heart series:

A series about a fem, American reader who had to transfer to U.A. partway through second year. You’re there to become a hero, that much is obvious, but why else did you come? And, more importantly, what—or who—makes you stay?

timeline

may, year two:

- reader finishes junior year of American high school early

- reader transfers to u.a. from the united states

The Meeting | [g] | 0.1k | gen

Reader meets Tokoyami for the first time. Sequel to first impressions from my wip list

Hollow Victory | [g] | 9.6k | gen, action

chapter 1 | chapter 2

You transferred to U.A. from America two weeks ago. No one has found out your quirk yet. Today, they’re going be meeting it head on and you have the advantage: surprise.

june, year two:

Illiterate | [g] | 2.1k | fluff, comfort

Being unable to read Japanese makes you feel so stupid. And who comes into the common room after midnight just as you’re about to cry? The boy who hasn’t spoken to you in three weeks.

sequels

The Offering | [g] | 0.4k | fluff, gen.

The Mission (Shouto POV) | [g] | 0.3k | fluff, gen., silly

september, year two:

Impetus | [g] | 2.1k | friendship

Ever since Shinsou found out what your quirk was, the two of you have been each other’s best friends and confidantes. But when he turns a casual training session into a tease over your supposed crush on someone in your class, that trust might just break.

january, year two:

This Clock Never Seemed So Alive | [g] | 1.2k | fluff, comfort

You and your boyfriend, Shouto, always walk to class together, but today you haven’t yet left your dorm. When he checks on you, he finds you awake, but curled on your side, suffering from period cramps.

sequels

The Questions (drabble) | [g] | 0.1k | gen.

The Sweetness (double drabble) | [g] | 0.2k | fluff, comfort

february, year three:

Between Fear and Guilt | [t] | 2.5k | light angst, comfort

You and Shouto only started being intimate a couple months back, but you’re already experiencing a dry spell. Today you’re going to figure out what’s up with your boyfriend once and for all.

fifteen years after graduation

Something Perfect | [e] | 3.7k | smut, fluff

After years of questioning if Shouto would ever want children, he’s finally decided that he really does. Overjoyed, the two of you decide to get started.

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha #mha #todoroki x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugo x reader #deku x reader #iida x reader #ida x reader #kirishima x reader #aizawa x reader #shinsou x reader #endeavor x reader

807 notes · View notes

akaashisupremacy · 4 years

Text

Sunset Drives

Summary: Having broken off your engagement for an arranged marriage with Gojo, your relationship is in shreds. As you and Gojo try to pick up the pieces, what does healing look like for the two of you?

Gojo Satoru x reader

Multi-fandom Masterlist || HQ Masterlist || Ao3 version

Genre: ANGST AND PINING, exes to friends to ??, commitment issues lol, some fluff if you wink (wc: 1k)

“Let’s go for a walk down the beach.” Gojo Satoru insists out of the blue.

After a long day of work regarding the security updates for Jujutsu Tech, you agree. Gojo has always been spontaneous. He’s not one to make extensive plans.

The sky is quickly turning orange and purple as the car parks near the sand. You welcome the sea breeze when the door opens and the golden light coats both of you.

“We haven’t had a walk like this in a long time, just the two of us. At least one outside of the school.” you comment.

“Hardly a surprise. We were barely on speaking terms,” he retorts.

“And now we’re fixing things.” you smile with a skip of hope in your tone.

Gojo pauses before replying in a murmur, “We are.”

Ten years after your teenage break-up of your arranged marriage engagement, you’re both finally starting to find peace. Earlier this year you were both screaming and crying and hurting as you aired out your bottled up feelings and hurt. Things are finally settling down at last.

“This is nice,” he adds as if reading your thoughts.

You’re both in thick windbreaker jackets. Despite your weatherproof clothes, Gojo’s polo shirt collar peaks through his jacket. He’s dressed up today: leather shoes, slacks and his sunglasses instead of his eye covers. He looks good, handsome even.

You both take a moment to look into the ocean. He puts an arm around your shoulder and draws you in. His grip is gentle and firm.

“When I said I wanted to go to the beach, I meant during summer, you know?” you turn to him.

“We can come back during the summer. It’s near enough to drive.” he assures.

“Really?” you quirk a brow.

“Really.” he nods with a grin.

You both continue walking, kicking up a bit of sand here and there.

“I thought I would hate you the rest of my life because I wasn’t sure I could separate my feelings for you from my familial duties.” he exhales.

It’s your turn to pause.

“It’s ok, Gojo, you can say it.” you murmur, “We’re really happy right now. Whatever this is.”

He lets out a low chuckle

“I like having you in my life again,” he says.

. Your eyes are peaceful and a small smile forms at the edge of your lips.

He turns to you, about to lean in for a kiss when you hear voices coming from the back.

“Gojo-sensei, is that you?” wonders Itadori out loud.

Gojo winces and quickly plants a peck on the tip of your ear before turning to his students. A group of first and second year students are walking together led by one of the Zenin girls. She must be Maki.

“Yes.” he says, “Who else?”

“And you ex…wife?” Itadori tries to recall.

“Fiancée .” you correct, amused, “We never made it to the altar.”

You steal a glance at Gojo’s unreadable expression.

“You’re too beautiful for sensei. Is that why you broke up?” asks a spunky girl with short brown hair. This must be Kugisaki Nobara.

“Nobara, you shouldn’t say that in front of Gojo-sensei.” nudged Itadori.

You and Gojo look at each other as if exchanging an inside joke.

“Something like that.” you grin.

“I would argue that was really the least of our problems.” Gojo snorts crossing his arms.

“Excuse the two of them.” Fushiguro bows.

Maki reigns the rest of the group in order to return your privacy with their teacher. Gojo keeps his hands off you the rest of the walk. You feel slightly disappointed.

When you return to the car, you empathize with his reactions to his students. Sometimes they forget he has a life outside of them.

“Thanks for today.” you nod, strapping in your seatbelt

“You can save that for later. It’s not time for goodbyes just yet.” he waves lightly, “If you like the beach so much, you should come visit me more often. I’ll drive you down here.”

“I don’t want to take up more of your time.” you demure, “Besides you’re not one to be good at promises.”

“I will always make time for you.” he glances at you, eyes fully certain, “and I’ve been better at promises now that I’m older. You’ll see. You’re not the only one that’s changed.”

Before he gets the engine going, he leans into you for a kiss. You place a hand at his chest to steady yourself. He presses a little harder. His hand finds itself on the side of your cheek. Your hands gently brush away the sides of his hair. The kiss long and tender, neither of you in a hurry to be apart.

When you finally pull away, you ask.

“Is this the part where we drive off into the sunset?”

“Yes.” he says, slowly backing the car out of its slot.

“Maybe you had a different person in your mind but I guess, you get me today.” you joke.

“You don't know that.” he replies without skipping a beat.

Gojo Satoru is the man who has everything. Whether you’ll be by each other's side temporarily or forever, he doesn’t know. With you by his side, there is nothing else he could ask for.

“I am happy.” he nods to you. You’re surprised he brings it up again.

“Whatever this is,” he adds.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I wrote this as a follow up for another Gojo x reader fic who used to be engaged. This was supposed to be the last chapter but I have some extra material (fluff to help heal all the hurt I put us thru lol).

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5 || Part 6 || Part 7 || Part 8

Comment or message to be added to the taglist! :D

Series Taglist: @tokyo-love-hotel @samkysnks @herownescape @cherrianne192 @shamelessdonutsludgebanana @kageyamakock@shirostrbl @luvang3l @cloudsinthecosmos @httpjungoo @saturnki @itstheee-ha-chan @gucci-froggy @soy1melk @dora-the-grownup @cherryonigiri If you’d like to continue being part of my taglist (JJK or Haikyuu), please let me know! I also write oneshots for both fandoms and soon I’ll be doing BSD too!

#gojo x y/n #gojo x you #gojo x reader #gojo angst #gojo scenario #jjk x y/n #jjk x reader #jjk x you #gojo satoru x y/n #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #satoru gojo x y/n #satoru gojo x reader #satoru gojo x you #jjk angst #gojo satoru angst #gojo fanfic

253 notes · View notes

steve0discusses · 4 years

Text

S5 Ep 3: Apdnarg is Really Hard to Spell

Yo guys, people are getting vaccinated, the sun is parting through the clouds, and I felt so nice that I even stopped listening to quite so many throwback 00′s BTS mashups (and yet I keep clicking on these dissonant catastrophes thinking “this time it’s got to be better. This time they’ll figure it out.” and like, no. Turns out you can’t match Brittany’s Toxic with BTS’ Black Swan. You can’t do that.)

This must be a sign that things are getting better. If anything, it means my personal tastes are improving. I mean I only clicked on like 3 “Dark Academia” Playlists where I could pretend I’m some sort of spooky witch in an abandoned library with a bad music player and basic taste in classical music (like can we ban Satie from Youtube for a little while?). Hell, I might even do a prompt update to this blog!

Yeah, you heard me, I’m actually going to stay ahead of the update schedule for Yugioh Abridged (maybe. I haven’t actually watched cuz of spoilers, I just noticed the thumbnail pop up on Youtube and was like “Damn it, they came out of hiatus??? I got hurry UP.”)

Anyway, speaking of the sky parting.

I’ll have you know my bro said this is actually more like a circumcision and it was one of the worst thing I have ever heard.

We get a chance to take in this lineup of confusing and varied character designs, and Joey. who is...still Joey.

The animators probably had to hold a strike in order for them to put Yugi in the audience, lets be real. There are TOO MANY PEOPLE in this shot and one is wearing a turban where you draw every single wrap. I hope those artists charged by the line.

Tea has a subplot where she’s just very frustrated with everyone she knows. They have been traveling together for like many weeks and got trapped in a foreign country so I get it. But at the same time, it’s kind of hard to picture Tea with female friends.

Because right now you got this 12 year old child, the other duelist who does not care about anything besides cards, and Kaiba’s 3 dragon cards that we’ve all collectively decided are female.

Hell it’s almost like the writers are asking themselves why Tea is here. Maybe they forgot. There’s no more ghosts to bus, no more people to knock out with her ass with random Olympic feats. Tea’s just sidelining.

(read more under the cut)

Mokuba is a itty bit bit taller this season, and so I guess that means he can legally climb on top of the cherry picker in order to give a riveting speech.

Really says a lot about Mokuba that he is so unphased about talking to, I dunno...an entire planet of people. Kind of a shame we never see this courage from Mokuba used for anything other than talking really, really big and giving everyone around him a really hard time.

Mokuba takes a moment to dunk on Yugi Muto, as is Kaiba tradition.

And then introduce the first pair of duelists, which obviously must be between the few people in this tournament that we actually know and care about.

Thankfully, in between last episode and this episode, Yugi has figured out who his own Grandpa is. This is a relief, because Yugi is such a mess, that I was fully convinced it would take over half a season for him to recognize it. I mean how long did it take him to figure out he shares a body with a ghost? Like half a season?

Instead Yugi recovered gracefully from not recognizing his grandpa, but it’s not like he bothered to tell anyone else, so the rest of our cast is just gonna be like “Is he my hairdresser? The guy who delivers my mail? Who is this guy who made absolutely no significant changes to his outfit or voice?”

Like sometimes this show goes full Spongebob silly kid’s show and you never know when to take it seriously or not. They might be sacrificing the entire cast next episode. I really don’t know. But for now their big concern is who is grandpa??? Like an innocent card version of “Are you my Mother?”

Faced with public speaking, Yugi decides to have a melt down.

We have seen him face monsters, we’ve seen him on TV dozens of times, he’s been in multiple competitions...but give a speech? Of course he can’t do that. The kid doesn’t attend enough school to know how to do that. Them’s learning skills.

And that was when a newly assembled wife-jet spliced through the sky like a souped up razer scooter and deposited 1 fully equipped Seto Kaiba in a Buzz Lightyear jetsuit.

THE RECOVERY.

Seto always watching over his Brother, ready to save this awkward party if it kills him (and it really should, that suit is held together by two seat-belts), making sure to get on that platform before Yugi starts going off about how he’s half an Ancient Egyptian. (Ah, life before social media. You could just be hella famous and also half a dead dude and people would just not know. I kinda miss the time before I knew literally everything about everyone.)

Please admire how close those flames are to setting Mokuba’s heavily hairsprayed mane completely alight. It would be an unforgettable spectacle.

These were absolutely just random ass jet packs that Gozaburo Kaiba made to kill hell tons of people, right? Like Seto found it in the family cabin, clutched to the heart of some crispy fried corpse and was like “neat! Mokuba! I found a cool toy!” and just plucked that thing out of that skeleton’s clutches and has been flying around for months?

Like this is Seto Kaiba’s Butter Glider, right?

Seriously what type of vehicle license do you need for one of these things? RIP My ‘Seto only has a scooter license’ headcanon.

Which I’m only even thinking about because I’ve had to try and make an appt with the DMV for days to get a freakin REAL ID. I went to sleep in 2019 and I could fly on a plane. I woke up in 2021 and it’s like “Want one last screw you?” and just...can 2020 please stop screwing me over? It’s March.

Anyway, the Jet is removed soon after, so no, this is not part of his new outfit. He goes right back to his Post-S4-Trauma-Normcore.

After wrestling this competition out of his brother’s hands and confusing everyone in the audience, Roland must have gotten the memo to cut the microphone before Seto got too excited and we were quickly ushered on to the next stage of the tournament.

One sec...the BTS Mashup playlist I just clicked on did a Black Swan X 7 rings mashup and it’s the worst thing my ears have ever heard.

Holy crap. I had to actually turn down my volume. Like...Ariana Grande already has music that has way too many overlapping singing parts on it--and then lets just stick a 52-person boy band on top? That’ll fix it. Yeah. Go ahead.

Wow. Even I had to change the song and you know how much I enjoy pop culture mistakes.

Spot the Mickey but like a million times easier because it’s a Massive Dick Shaped Dragon.

Yep. That’s my grocery shopping outfit. Except maybe not a lab coat and a duel disk. Wish I had a duel disk, that would make social distancing just a hell ton earlier. Just a “Yo, only one person in checkout, please” and then bap them on the head with a propelled discuss/hologram.

Anyway, Grocery shopping/Doctor man dueled the Purple Hair Boy, and considering that Purple Hair got screen time and shook Yugi’s hand once--I think that Doctor man doesn’t stand a freakin chance.

Good. I hate him.

Also, every time he breathes he’s gonna fog up his glasses. I have experience in this area. He can’t read his own cards in the same way I can’t read my phone if I’m in the refrigerated aisle.

So the way this tournament works, is everyone has to sit in the stadium to watch the show. Kinda like showing up to a football stadium just to watch a recorded TV monitor...but then again...that is how it feels to watch a football game at a football stadium when it’s live (at least with the tickets I usually get.)

And as we watch Grandpa waiting for his competitor, we find out that his competitor (Joey) is too busy eating snacks to give him the time of day.

Why do cartoon hot dogs always have lettuce? Is that seriously supposed to be relish? Or is there a place in the world where you put lettuce on your hot dog?

Sorry, bro has just informed of his favorite hot dog order, which is absolutely terrible so I will share it with you: a Five Guys hot dog with ketchup, mustard, pickle relish, onions, mushrooms, pickled peppers, and you guessed it--topped with freakin lettuce.

My own kin. How am I over 30 and just finding out that my baby brother thinks it’s normal to walk into a restaurant with normal god-fearing law-abiding people and order lettuce and mushrooms on a hot dog?

I have fully failed him.

The rest of this episode is watching both Joey Wheeler and Mokuba have a shared panic attack while Seto does freakin nothing.

Please remember that Seto has both a jetpack and a dragon wife plane and could have easily solved this problem. But nah.

Then again, Seto Kaiba has given this crew so MANY rides, that maybe he’s tired of being the Soccer Mom for the team?

Like they don’t actually say this episode, but Seto was the one in charge of like...this entire place, do you think he made the 2 for 1 special just to get Joey where it hurts the most? Or does it actually not take any subterfuge to screw Joey Wheeler because he’s just naturally this way?

Like Mokuba wasn’t there when Joey was told “stay right here, and then we will all go together to fight Dartz” and Joey was like “I’mma save Mai from herself although she told me not to!” and then he Hella Died. But, Mokuba did see the result, AKA, Joey’s dead body being carried on the back of Tristan. Maybe Mokuba never realized that Joey died because he went out of his way to be late?

Lets do a tally of every time I can recall with my dodgy memory that Joey was threatened to be DQ’d/pretty much was DQ’d either by his own fault or no fault of his own

-When he wasn’t allowed to go on the boat to Murder Island because he was a stupid nobody kid who did not have a dueling glove

-When he wasn’t actually supposed to be in Pegasus’ tourney and was, in fact, secretly using half of Yugi’s entrance ticket the entire time

-when Bandit Keith stole the ticket that Joey got from Yugi so then Joey had to borrow Mai’s ticket although she had just used it so it really shouldn't have counted. Because, really anyone could have just piggy backed off of each other’s ticket until the whole boat went through that castle.

-When his account was hacked to get entered into Kaiba’s tourney when Kaiba very clearly told him he could not apply solely because he was Joey Wheeler.

-When he was late to his sister’s eye surgery because he got mugged by Marik’s Rare Hunters, so she almost refused to do the surgery.

-When Joey got possessed by Marik, and as Marik, threatened to murder everyone else in the tournament including both of the Kaiba brother’s who’s tournament it was, and then chained himself to Yugi Muto to throw both of them to the bottom of the ocean.

-I think there was a point when he threatened to attack Kaiba in Kaiba’s own tourney while not possessed? Like several times?

-when he got struck by Lightning and almost did not stand up fast enough after being struck by lightning, which is apparently a type of DQ in Duel Monsters.

-When he tried to save Mai from getting hit by a fireball, but then Yugi did it instead, and then so many people were standing on the dueling platform that Kaiba couldn’t possibly DQ them all.

-When he entered the restricted area of the blimp in order to hassle Kaiba into landing the Blimp, which Kaiba did not do.

-When Marik killed Joey before Joey could press the “go” button on his duel disk to play the card that should have won Joey the match.

-When he was dueling a lawyer in a digital universe but then the dice was like...weighted? So Noah had to walk over and be like “The hell is this weighted dice? This is my perfect digital world? How did you even do that?” and then Joey won because the match was no longer legit.

-When Joey yelled at Noah too much and so Noah turned Joey to stone for being a rude ass spectator

-When Mai was like “Wheeler and Valon, listen closely: do NOT murder each other” and then Joey did a murder on Valon so she was like “I guess I have no choice, I was very clear” and killed Joey straight up.

-When Joey decided to block Seto’s fireballs while Joey Wheeler WAS a playing card, somehow disrespecting both Dartz and Seto Kaiba at the same time.

-When Joey was playing cards but then got absorbed into a giant Leviathan and basically couldn’t play anymore after that.

-There’s probably hell ton of S0 stuff I just haven’t seen yet.

-This episode

And Joey runs fast for a montage of wacky things that really have no business being in a theme park. Things like this:

(remember when Bakura almost died from a rock that ended up being a balloon? It comes full circle.)

The stuff that the Kaiba brother’s think is normal and fun.

Anyway Joey fights off a bunch of hologram snakes and bats and everyone is like “Should we tell him it’s just holograms???” And it’s like wow, guys, how many times have these ‘holograms’ straight up murdered Joey Wheeler and everyone else on this cast? Too many? Because I have a google doc with so many deaths on it. 7,805,844,048, to be exact.

Anyway, he gets there with five seconds to spare and Mokuba’s like “well at least you were still entertaining while we filmed you in front of a live audience being a total spaz for 15 minutes straight, so I’ll let you go.”

Grandpa and Joey start playing, Joey completely oblivious that this is just an older Muto, while Hawkins walks up awkwardly and is like “hey guys. I’m so sorry about this.”

(welcome to my font choices, for those new here, I have to make weird font color choices to make sure it’s legible for the colorblind and also for the non-colorblind. This one is not much contrast, so I may change it up in the future, but for now, this is Grandpa Muto’s new font. I apologize to every graphic designer reading this. Please don’t tell anyone who has ever hired me for graphic design about this blog.)

What’s funny about this exchange is that after they find out that Yugi’s Grandpa is Apdnarg (HOLY my brain cannot get around the spelling for that, and I will not change it in the caps. I cannot do a ‘pdn’ ever again), they don’t stand on his side of the field or anything. Hawkins is legit Solomon Muto’s only fan during this exchange and like...damn. Way not to back your Grandpa, Yugi.

Yugi immediately strides up to Mokuba to non-confrontation-ally inform him that he has stepped over a line and Mokuba is like “what are these things you say called ‘lines?’”

According to Mokuba, Solomon Muto begged him to be in the competition so he could relive his glory days (glory days making no sense here, because the game has only been released for the past 15 years, so glory days is like...the before times that can only be referring to disgraced archeologists and Pegasus ((who is, in his own way...a disgraced archeologist, too))) and Mokuba was like

“You trained Yugi Muto, right? Hey that’s good enough for me. This drama is gold. People will eat it up. Hell yes. Don’t be afraid to abduct him a little bit. Maybe trap a couple people in a digital hellscape for a little while? Now we go by Pegasus house rules here, so fire as many lasers as you want, but just make sure not to hit anyone in the face. Oh man, we are going to be swimming in cash. Love it, Muto Sr, love it.”

But I dunno, I feel like Grandpa won’t make it past next episode. It is Joey. We kinda need him to make it past Ep 4 of the arc. If Grandpa Muto becomes the new Joey Wheeler, that will be a weird transition for this show to make.

But that’s all for today, as always, here is the link to read these in chrono order becuase there’s SO MANY that you don’t need to read backwards--don’t do it--just use the chrono tag (and I don’t know if you can add compound tags, but I did separate the Season from the Episode, so if you write S4, it should only pop up stuff from S4. I didn't’ do that to seasons 1-3 though because I just...didn’t.)

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

And because I brought it up: here it is, the best BTS Mashup that I found on my deep dive. Like legit--this one isn’t a mess:

youtube

Most of other ones are horrible in a fascinating way. Like I’m not even a BTS fan, I think I sort of age out of that metric, I’m just bored and quarantined. And lets be real, we all appreciate a good bop when we hear it.

#yugioh #ygo #yu gi oh #photo recap #recap #episode recap #yugi muto #seto kaiba #mokuba kaiba #Joey Wheeler #Apdnarg #Grandpa muto #tea gardner #tristan taylor #professor hawkins #and then I ranted about BTS #but please don't quiz me about BTS I know nothing about them aside from the music #I actually thought there were over 12 of them because every time I see them perform it feels like an entire stageplay production of people #like a 101 dalmations situation where every time I saw BTS there were 3 new people #I assumed it was like the Gorrilaz where people just show up and then disappear in a rotation #but no. There's 7 BTS members #that can't be right #there has to be more than 7 #is this a berenstein bears situation?#how is there only 7?#I swear there used to be like 16 #and they would be introduced like here's jimin and Jungkook and red and yellow and green and brown and scarlet and black and ochre and pea #like is google seriously telling me there's only 7 kids in this band?#this is the biggest scam google has ever played on me #this weird alternate timeline that not only has an epidemic but also only 7 members of BTS

48 notes · View notes

ibi-7 · 4 years

Text

Ves can die??? (Roche & Iorveth side-track)

Wow okay just found out that you can kill Ves, well let her die, in wild hunt. Like I knew you had a time crunch on her life, but I never was going to let it run out, so I just assumed it was a fixed thing, like she couldn’t die and you continue the game, like I thought it would make you replay like some other instances. But no, she can Die! that makes me so sad, and this of course ruins your relationship with Roche, so he won’t help you with the wild hunt.

Anyway So I started thinking of Vernon without Ves and now I am bigtime™ sad. Like Can you imagine those to away from each other? They are inseparable. He is a brilliant commander and yet he takes her with him to Kaer Morhen. He takes his second in command with him! and they thought it was a definite suicide mission, meaning if they were to die they would leave the blue stripes command-less and they would fall apart. Yet he takes her with him. And she would die for him without a second thought, and when you talk to them after the battle, she says something like, “I don’t know what were doing next, but I’ll follow Vernon anywhere he goes”

I don’t really care if you think they are romantically involved, A brother/sister bond, or Father/daughter bond, but we should all agree that Vernon would be shattered if she died, and the idea that you can just take her from him is awful. Like you can decide to play a version of the game where she is dead.

The second after she dies Vernon turns on Geralt angry and leaves. which of course makes sense, but after when you go to him for help, he is just broken and sad, and I think he would stay that way. Perpetually defeated.

And that got me thinking. all angsty, but Vernon without Ves, I don’t think he’d be angry or “hardened” I think he would loose his edge. The only thing left in his life would be Temeria, which you can have become a vessel state so long as you save Roche, so after that he would in a sense, have nothing. Maybe he’d loose himself in a desk job working to better Termeria and bring her back to her glory. Spending his free time drinking himself into oblivion. Or maybe he would do something akin to contract work? He would travel handling pests or small problems of people for coin, always on the move. After Ves’ death he couldn’t settle down, he always figured he’d have her with him when that came around.

Oh! maybe his path collides with Iorveth’s on accident. While off on one of his missions he just kind of pops up.

Iorveth decides to bug his former rival and tags along. Roche is not really in the mood to deal with the snarky sass that is Iorveth, but a familiar face is, well...nice. He finds out that he went to defend Kaer Morhen for Geralt and has been working on finding the Catriona cure for Nilfgaard, which explains his new uniform at least.

While walking Iorveth asks about the angry little blonde d’hoine and Roche’s expression changes to one filled with so much sadness that he felt compelled to place his hand on his shoulder as a form of comfort.

They run into some bandits, long story short, Roche breaks his leg or something. Iorveth then decides to stick with Roche, can’t leave the stupid d’hoine to get himself killed. Vernon will never get over Ves’ death but at least having a small part of his former life around makes things a bit easier.

Vernon thought he was going to lose Iorveth too, because he tells him, he must return to his work on the Catriona, and report back to Nilfgaard, a few weeks after the bandit incident, so he thought the likelihood of ever seeing him against slim.

Iorveth actually ends up asking him to return to The Capital with him. Can’t have the stupid d’hoine getting hurt again but him not be around to save his ass. Roche actually smiles for the first in a long time at that.

Maybe when they arrive Emhyr summons him along with Iorveth for updates. After Iorveth is dismissed he “offers” Roche to either join Iorveth officially under Nilfgaard or retire from field work into the position of Constable of Temeria. He doesn’t have much of a choice so he decides to joining Iorveth seems most appealing at this moment in time, he knows Emhyr will force him into Constable sooner rather than later, and he will accept with honor for the good of his country, but right now, in the moment, he can’t imagine being put in charge of a country. He’s happy knowing Thaler will be there while he’s not.

Iorveth though. Iorveth was simple. In the sense that he was familiar. Iorveth used to be his enemy, he knows a great deal about him because of it. And now that they aren’t on opposite sides, he feels like greeting an old friend. The idea of traveling with a person he knows, for the first time since Ves, makes him a little bit excited for the oncoming days.

The only question is, does Iorveth actually want to travel with him? He may have just been pitying him. And he knows shit about the Catriona plague how could he be much of a use to him? Of course if Emhyr asked him to, Iorveth would let him accompany him. but does he actually want him too?

(Whoo! Okay I did not mean to write that! This literally was just supposed to be me being upset about the fact that you can kill Ves! Because that makes me really sad. But than I started thinking about how sad Vernon would be and then that turned into how would he deal with life after her, and whenever I think of Roche I automatically think of Iorveth so then he got involved.

Anyway, I kind of like this idea? Should I do something with it? Or maybe hand it off to someone who can write better? I promise I write better than this though, I just kind of ran this out of my mouth :) Heh

Sorry this has no editing or real thought it just popped into my head, Please tell me if you like it! :)))

#ves #vernon roche #roche #Iorveth #iorweth #The Witcher 2 #the witcher 3 #iorveth x roche #angst #hurt/comfort

76 notes · View notes

hes-writer · 4 years

Text

Exclusive Content

this is a master list of all one shots, blurbs, series parts, and unfinished content that i have posted on patreon (so far)! click the title to read the sneak peek (if i’ve posted one)

———

*+VALENTINE’S DAY

the one where harry has an eventful day

“Shit! Are you crazy?” Y/N gasped in surprise when the passengers seat was occupied, the door opening and slamming shut all while the car moved at a speed of 15 km/h —cursing her forgetfulness for not clicking the locks shut.

“Keep driving!” The passenger shouted, looking back through the windshield.

* ACHY BACK

the one where y/n’s back hurts and harry draws a bath

“Took too long,” Y/N mumbled as they met in the middle, knuckling tiredly at her eyes. A pout sat on her face as Harry stopped himself from ducking his head and catching her plush lips with his, craving the sweet taste of her and her strawberry lip balm. Her arms wrapped around his snatched waist, halting his breath at the tightness of her embrace and settling for a kiss on her forehead, the scent of her shampoo wafting in his nostrils, knowing that she had taken a shower hours prior. Her back had been aching since then, the pain barely bearable for her stature, causing a crease in between his brows.

+ A LETTER TO THE MAN I’VE LOVED

the one where harry receives a letter from y/n

Is it really worth it to look back in retrospect about ‘what had been’ when she can think about ‘what could have been’ if both of them realized their faults? Granted, he was more resilient in that sense than her, but he was no better at the time. She made mistakes and it had haunted her to this day, practically killing her with each moment she spent without him by her side.

+ UNWAVERING (1) (2) (3) (4) (5)

the one where harry cheats (another version of ‘a cheat’)

"I-I'm in a bit of a rush, baby.” He took a step back, increasing the distance between them. "I have a meeting today. Lots of work to be done," Harry responded his tone suggesting that he didn’t want to talk anymore. Y/N nodded to please him.

"Right. Maybe we can go out tonight to grab some dinner," She suggested, a hopeful glint in her eyes and he almost felt guilty for putting her at the back burner of his mind.

"I really have to go, baby," Peeking his head around her frame, he spotted the untouched toast and apple juice resting on where he should be. "I'm sorry."

+ ALL I ASK

the one where feelings aren’t mutual and hearts are broken

“I don’t want to be scared of what will happen tomorrow or if all we have is right now because we’ll have nothing left but I am,” A sob ripped through his throat, emotions were heightened tenfold because she was so close yet so far and they were still Harry and Y/N but at the same time they weren't. They’ve changed over the span of one night. “All we have is tonight,”

* LITTLE PRINCE

the one where harry and y/n are 7-year olds

Harry gasped in horror, crouching to his knees and getting his knee dirty beside the girl.

"Y/N? Y/N! Are you okay? I'm so so sorry, I didn't mean for that to happen. I swear I wasn't mad at you, I was just jok- Why are you smiling?" Harry yelped, panic evident in his shrill voice. His hands wandered towards her face, tilting it left to right, up and down, searching for any visible and invisible injuries besides the bump on her forehead.

RENEGADE

the one where y/n teaches harry the ‘renegade’ dance

“What are y’doing?” Harry asked, his eyes wide as his large palms ruffled the fluffy towel on his damp curls. The steam from the bathroom escaped to your bedroom where you were panting with effort, your chest heaving so hard that the peaks of your breasts rose with each breath.

“Uh, what are you doing?” You retorted slowly, hiding your hands behind your back were your fingers gripped your phone. Your thumb dug hard on the volume bottom, frantically trying to decrease the music from the phone speaker.

DROP THE TOWEL (m)

the one where harry does the ‘drop the towel’ challenge

“Hey, babe,” He greeted, walking closer to you in a towel that made him feel liberated. You hummed in a silent greeting, giving him a smile before doing a double-take at his appearance. He dropped the towel on the floor, his length hanging proudly between his legs.

You gasped at the sight, the knife clanging on the marble counter, “Ooh, hi there,”

He smirked cockily, watching your eyes observe his body, tongue subconsciously peeking out between your lips until you snapped your head to the window, “Oh my god! There are people out there, Harry,” You wailed in alarm, bending over to hand him his towel.

DREAM WITH ME (exclusive content as of right now) - this fic will be posted on Tumblr when I return from my hiatus

the one where y/n has trouble falling asleep

Harry’s admiration gets interrupted when a sudden jolt took over Y/N’s body. He dropped his mouth open a little in shock, rubbing her back soothingly when she whimpered quietly, “Shh, it’s okay. You’re safe with me,” She must have had experienced one of those moments when she was falling until her vision drooped to a shaded black.

DIGRESS (1) PROGRESS (2) REGRESS (3)

the one where love fails

What happens when love fades away? How do you cope with the feelings disappearing slowly like a blot of dark blue paint diluting with every stroke of a ruffled paintbrush? Y/N wondered if there was a chance to fixing what has been lost--what has disappeared as the canvas soaked through in a permeated osmosis. Coating the brush of blue with white paint took several layers to completely cover the mistakes. There had to be an effort in wanting to make the faults and errors completely opaque from the eye; the bleary, watery irises soaked with tears, dampening her lashes in a thick haze as she cried.

ROUTINE (1) (the first part will be posted on Tumblr when I return from my hiatus. following parts will be patron-exclusive content)

the one where harry is a camboy

In a blink of an eye, Harry’s toned body was showcased on the screen, allowing him to view what his viewers had the pleasure of seeing. The ‘LIVE’ sign blinked repeatedly.

“Hello,” Harry drawled out purposefully using a deeper tone to set the mood. “How are you today?” His fingers stayed hung over the armchair, griping it slightly when comments started rolling in.

NOTES ON CAMP (1) (2) (3) (exclusive content as of right now) - this fic will be posted on Tumblr when I return from my hiatus

Y/N plastered a smile on her face as she shook Belle’s hand. “Sorry but I need to steal Harry away,” Belle tugged on his tattooed arm, fingers clasping around his wrists as he started walking along with her. “See you, Y/N!” Harry greeted, turning around with his arm draped over Belle’s shoulder.

“See you,” She whispered under her breath, looking at his retreating figure towards the cafeteria. Y/N couldn’t help the disappointment she felt, her shoulders slouching at the realization that it was too good to be true. Of course, he had a girlfriend. A gentleman with chiselled features and a caring personality complimenting her? No way. Still, she wasn’t too sad about it. It wasn’t like they’ve known each other for long. Plus, they were co-workers! It would feel wrong to start a relationship anyway.

STRESSED OUT

the one where y/n is stressed and harry wants her to take a break

“What d’ya mean I don’t get it?” He closed the paperback, making sure to clip in his bookmark to save his spot.

A pregnant pause slithered the room. Her fingers typing against the keys of her laptop ceased as she shot him a glare, “You’re not studying, are you? All you do is write songs, fiddle with a few instruments and sing it in front of people who adore you,”

Harry physically pulled his chest back. He felt like he had been shot. He knew she didn’t mean it though, but it still hurt to hear, “O-oh. I didn't know y-you felt that way,”

She continued, “You don’t know what it’s like having to spend hours researching so you don’t get anything wrong. Sleepless nights to perfect one paragraph that my professor nitpicks to the bone,” Y/N penned a few words on her notebook, not noticing the pout plastered on Harry’s face.

DESSERT

the one where harry wants something else

She pulled away, shaking her head adamantly, “No way! I spent all day cooking and you’re not gonna skip it just to eat my pussy,”

He the corners of his eyes squinted in offence at her description, “Your pussy’s top tier, baby.” Harry ‘tsked’ his tongue, “If yeh didn’t know that already, then I’m doing a horrid job,”

PET NAME

the one bff!harry just wants y/n to call him by his pet name

“Am I, Harry? Seems like you’re putting me at the back burner nowadays,”

He was speechless; had he? Harry didn’t mean to make her feel this way but he wasn’t aware that he was actively blowing her off for Ruby. And why won’t she call him ‘honey’? That was his nickname, wasn’t it? H stood for Harry but it was also the pet name Y/N had given him.

His voice emulated a soft, syrupy tone that lingered in the air whenever he spoke. He was the colour honey itself--golden and yellow like the colour of the sun. Harry was bright in its sense of intelligence and the way he illuminated the whichever room he entered. His kindness catered to everyone’s needs and left pieces of his heart wherever he went.

Harry was honey.

ROOMMATES SERIES (3) (4) (5) (6)

the one where harry and y/n are roommates

updates every 2 weeks!

will not be posted on Tumblr until the series is finished

Y/N gasped at Harry’s proximity, lids snapping open with her hand reaching over to pat along until she found her phone which was blaring with an alarm that she had set. Harry gulped, eyes wide as his mind ran through what the hell just happened.

“What are you doing here? Get out!” She yelled, tugging the sheets higher on her body.

“I-I was just waking you up so you can make us dinner,” Harry stuttered out, his excuse sounding lame but he patted himself on the shoulder for making it up on the spot. Well, that was his intention in the first place until he got distracted.

FRIENDS DON’T MINI-SERIES (1) (2) (3)

“Is this okay?” Her doe irises searched his. Harry raised his head lazily to make eye contact, nodding his head with a bit lip. Y/N clenched her inner thighs together at his already blissed-out state, his pupils slowly becoming larger with arousal. “Friends don’t touch each other this way,” She purposefully drew out her statement, giving Harry an out of the situation if he needed to.

“More than okay,”

FIC EXTRAS #1 - TEASE

the one before ‘under the table’

“Fuckin’ dirty,” He spat, the pads of his thumb tracing circles on her hipbones, not feeling a trace of clothing resting on her hips. “Wearin’ a short dress with no panties,”

Y/N hummed, arms slanting behind her to support her upper body so that she could spread her legs further, making room for Harry’s hand. “Didn’t feel like it,”

“Y’just waiting for me to find out, hmm? You knew I couldn’t resist myself when you look so goddamn pretty,”

UNFINISHED DRABBLE #1

the one with fratboy!harry

“Y’alright?” Harry’s husky breath barely made its way to her ears, only then did Y/N feel the hand palming her lower back, another one gripped around her shoulders. Her front flushed against his own, feeling his hard chest on her heaving ones. She peeked one eye open, looking around at her angled stance, then to Harry who wore a concerned look scanning her face. Y/N nodded in response, blinking rapidly, her nipples hardening at a sudden cold breeze beneath the thin fabric of her dress, surely poking him through his shirt. She blushed at the thought and his brief glance over her where they touched, his eyes dilating the tiniest amount.

UNFINISHED DRABBLE #2

the one where harry’s a cheating asshole

Harry wormed his way through his delectable voice and his ever-present words that somehow scorched your shield to the ground. Again. He promised never to do it again and your love-sick heart trusted him. Again.

But your trust wasn’t something that was particularly valuable to him. To Harry, it would always be there, lingering like the stars in the night sky; always present, always gleaming. Harry was very sorry for what he was doing to you. It was ironic, really; he hoped and prayed every day that you wouldn’t find out but his carelessness left everything out in the open.

TEXT MESSAGES #1

the one where y/n has silly thoughts

TEXT MESSAGES #2

the one where harry and y/n share the same class

#harry styles one shot #harry styles #masterlist #harry styles x reader #harry styles fluff #harry styles imagine #patreon exclusive #harry styles smut

281 notes · View notes

slytherinbarnes · 4 years

Text

Sub Rosa [66]

viii. how we get to peace

Pairing: Bellamy Blake x reader

Word Count: 4.8k

Warnings: creepy parasitic worms, death, angst, violence.

Summary: You, Bellamy, and Clarke all realize how far you’re willing to go to stop the war in the valley, but you’re quick to learn your decisions have consequences.

a/n: the taglist for this series is open! I hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think!!!

previous chapter // season masterlist // series masterlist

All of you are still looking at Clarke in shock, except for Bellamy who is still turned away, when Diyoza chimes in again, noticing the prolonged silence. “I don't care how you make it happen, Clarke. Bring her to me in chains and I'll do it for you, or she can surrender herself. But your Red Queen doesn't seem like the type.”

Clarke responds, “Let us worry about that.”

“We have an understanding then.”

“We do.”

“Good. Call me back when it's done and we can work out the details of your crossing. Over and out.”

As soon as the radio falls silent again, Bellamy spins to face your twin, voice hard. “No way.”

She tries to argue, but he cuts her off immediately, glaring at her now. “We are not killing my sister, Clarke. I don't care how crazy she is.”

You turn to Clarke, wanting to take her side because you’re worried about Madi too, but you don't want to do that at Octavia’s expense. “Clarke, I want to keep Madi safe just as much as you do, but Bellamy’s right, we can't kill Octavia. Not when there could be another way.”

Bellamy steps over to Clarke and snatches the radio from her hands, before turning and passing it to Monty. “There is another way. Run the loop. The rover's charged, we're getting our friends.”

And then he turns his anger back to Clarke. “That was reckless. We had a plan, you agreed.”

“That was before Octavia made Madi her second.” The words sober everyone in the room, now more aware of the danger that Madi faces by Octavia’s side. “That army marches to war as soon as they find out the eye is down. I can't let that happen.”

Bellamy retorts, “And what if it was your twin? What if she was the one that needed to be killed to save Madi and get us into the valley, would you do it? Because I don't think you would.”

You look at Clarke, curious on her answer, and she shakes her head and stutters, “I-I don’t know. But it’s not my sister, it’s yours. Your sister who turned into a dictator in the last six years, your sister who kills her people when they try to defect, your sister who has become too power hungry to see that there are other ways to get to the valley that don't involve a war.”

You look around at everyone, your gaze staying on Bellamy as you can see Clarke’s words start to sink in. You muse, “So, we don't tell anyone?”

Monty counters, “They'll know as soon as we drive away.”

“Who cares? We grab Madi, and we go.”

Clarke cuts him a look, exasperated that he still doesn't understand. “Bellamy, she's by her side.”

“She's my sister, Clarke.”

“I know.” And you can hear the resignation in her voice. You know that she doesn't actually want to kill Octavia, but if killing Octavia keeps Madi alive, then you know she will choose Madi over the Wonkru leader any day. “Tell me what else to do!”

“We stop the war.”

Harper looks at her boyfriend, confused about his sudden statement. “How?”

Monty reaches into his pack and pulls out a glass jar full of green liquid, and you look at it in curiosity realizing what it is as he says, “Algae.”

Bellamy, however, does not seem curious about the algae, because he lets out an exasperated sigh and scrubs a hand over his face in frustration. “Monty-”

“Cooper already gave me permission to show what it can do! She's meeting me this afternoon so I can take her to the-”

“That's enough.”

Harper backs Bellamy up and adds, “The first batch put Murphy in a coma for almost a week. By the time it's ready to eat-”

He cuts her off, shaking his head. “We're not gonna eat it this time, we're gonna feed it to the plants. If I can make the farm viable again, then we'll still have a chance.”

Your brows lift, impressed, and you start to ask him a question about how confident he is in the algae when the door swings open. You all turn to it in shock, freezing like a bunch of kids that have been caught doing something they aren’t supposed to when you see Octavia standing there, her eyes locked on the screen behind Monty. “The spy did her job?”

Cooper and Miller step in alongside their queen, and Bellamy walks over to his sister, working on damage control, aware of how bad it looks that no one came to warn her. “Uh, we were just about to send for you. I told you Echo would get it done.”

You feel a flash of anger at the mention of her name, despite the fact that her and Bellamy are broken up, and you shake your head, trying to control yourself. Octavia turns to look at Monty, wanting more information. “Can the enemy still see us?”

“For now, yes. It's technical, but-”

Cooper cuts him off, and as terrible as she appears to be, she seems to understand perfectly. “He has to run a loop to mask our troop movements. When the time comes, we need to clear the surface to reduce the risk of anyone noticing the same people moving in the same direction again and again.”

“Well done, Monty.” Octavia turns to look at Cooper and then Miller, giving her commands, “Load the worms into the rover and mobilize the army. War is here.”

And then she turns to leave all of you behind, staring at each other in shock. Any plan you had to get out fast and save your friends before the worms arrived is now foiled by Octavia knowing the eye is down. You sigh, already aware that this is going to complicate things further, likely putting Bellamy and Clarke at odds even more so than they were minutes ago. You know you're about to be caught in the middle of them, so you rack your brain, trying to figure out how you can fix this. And then you remember Indra, shocked by Octavia and who she has become, seemingly willing to stop this war if given the choice. You turn and look between your twin and your former lover, offering up your solution. “We need to meet with Indra. If anyone can stop this before it happens, she can.”

They both nod in agreement, and Bellamy looks at Harper. “We need you to pass the message to Indra, we can't be seen looking for her. Tell her to meet us in the building that Octavia used as a war room before we marched the first time. She’ll know where that is.”

Harper nods, and hurries out the door, and you watch her go before you mutter, “We’ll need to get there without being seen.”

Clarke nods, “I know just the way. When Jaha and I took the bunker for Skaikru, we spent a lot of time staring at the schematics for this place. There are a lot of passageways that can get you from one end to the other without seeing a single soul.”

“Then let’s go.”

Clarke leads you from the room and into a closed off hallway, taking you through the bunker and up to the exit without coming across anyone, as promised. Once on the surface, the three of you split off, taking different paths at different times to reach the building, so that no one sees all three of you heading to the same place together. All of the sneaking around reminds you of when you spied on Pike for Kane, and a pang cuts through you, somehow nostalgic for that time. You don't know why, maybe it’s because everything felt simpler then, even when you were on the brink of war with the Grounders. Maybe it’s because things were better with you and Bellamy. Even though he was closed off and working with the enemy, the two of you were together. Now, you feel like a stranger to him. Though, the more you think about it, you kind of feel like a stranger to everyone. You saw your mother and Kane for a few minutes before they were taken away to the valley, and now you haven’t seen them since. There’s still so much they don’t know about the time you and Clarke spent on the ground without them, and there’s clearly so much you and Clarke don’t know about the years everyone spent in the bunker.

Bellamy and the others from the ring are clearly very close. You’ve heard them all refer to each other as a family a few times since getting to the ground, but you have no idea what their time in space was like. You have no idea how they passed the time, or kept themselves sane, or when Bellamy moved on from you and fell in love with Echo. And now everything just feels so awkward. Everything is so different from the last time everyone was together six years ago. Everyone has changed so much, and there’s been so little time to get reintroduced to the new versions of each other. With a war hanging over everyone’s heads, the awkwardness persists, everyone still working to get comfortable around each other again in the few quiet moments you have been given.

You pull yourself from your thoughts when you see the building up ahead, and you step inside, seeing that you’re the last to arrive before Indra does. As you wait for your guest, the three of you all occupy the room with anxious energy. Clarke stands near the window, peeking out every few seconds. Bellamy paces back and forth across the room, and you rack your brain trying to remember if that's a habit he’s always had, or one he picked up on the ring. You never figure it out, because Indra steps into the room, already questioning all of you before she even gets the door closed. “We're readying for war. Do you know the risk I'm taking meeting you here?”

“Yes, thank you for coming.”

She warily eyes Bellamy, not sure she trusts the thanks before demanding, “What do you want?”

You step forward, feeling like right now, you might be the calmest person in this group. At the very least, you’re the middle man, stuck between two opposing sides, making you the most qualified to update Indra. “Clarke talked to Colonel Diyoza. She's offering all of Wonkru safe passage to the valley, all Octavia has to do is surrender.”

“By now, you've realized she would never do that, so I'll ask you again. What do you want from me?”

“Peace without war is still possible. Now, you're her advisor, she'll listen to you.”

“Why would I advise her to surrender in a war she's likely to win? Thanks to you, we can march freely on the enemy while the worms ravage them. By the time we get to the valley, the only thing left to do will be to clean up the mess.”

Clarke counters, “And if the worms ravage the valley?”

“A risk she's willing to take.”

You think about the conflict, about the mess all of you will have to clean up, or another war you’ll have to fight, despite not wanting to. An easy victory, sure, but a messy one. A messy one, that relies on the worms. You turn to Indra, trying to hide your excitement at the thought. “What if the outcome of the war wasn't certain, if she didn't have the worms? Would she still fight?”

“If she didn't have the worms, both sides would take heavy losses.”

Bellamy seems to understand what you’re saying and adds, “Exactly. If all it took to save her people from that and deliver them to the promised land was surrender, would she do it?”

“I would hope so. Of course, you would never see the promised land because she would know it was you and, brother or not, throw you in the pits.”

You start to wonder if she’d really do that, throw Bellamy in the pits. And then you start to worry if she’d do that to you. To Clarke. To Madi. And the more you think about it, the more sure you are that she would. If any of you stand in her way, you’re sure she won’t hesitate to take you out. You fight against your growing anxiety as Clarke starts to formulate a plan based on your initial suggestion. “Not if she thought it was Cooper. There's a failsafe in the processing room, I saw it when we were there. A way to kill the worms if they ever-”

Indra cuts her off, scoffing, “Folly! Cooper would never push that button, and since she's the only one that handles the worms-”

Clarke now cuts her off, “Cooper would be dead. We'll make it look like an accident. You would be the first responder, hit the failsafe button. No more worms.”

“No more war.” It only takes a second for her to decide before she looks between each of you, giving you her answer. “Do it. I don't want to know how it’s done, just send for me when I’m needed. The army is preparing in the atrium. I’ll hit the button, and play the part.”

She watches you all nod in agreement before she turns and slips out the door, leaving the three of you to plan a murder you had no idea you’d be committing when you woke up this morning.

The plan falls into place quickly when you remind Bellamy and Clarke about the meeting Monty mentioned he was going to have with Cooper in a few hours. From there, you all decide to take her from the meeting, into the biolab, stage the accident with a torn glove, kill her, and then notify Indra. You convince yourself not to think about the fact that you’re about to kill someone, so unused to killing people in the last 6 years. Wanlida came out of you easily when you, Clarke, and Madi were threatened by the prisoners, aware that it was you vs them. Now, you try to convince yourself that killing Cooper is the same thing. She’s just as bad as Octavia, she’s the one that put the worms in someone still living, she’s Octavia's right hand man. With her out of the picture, everything will fall into place. It has to.

Which is why you now stand crouched behind a row of plants, tuning out Monty’s words to Cooper, waiting for Bellamy’s signal. He stands nearby, a rag in his hand doused with chloroform, watching Cooper inch closer and closer. You keep your eyes on him, and suddenly he turns to you and nods his head, signaling for you to stand and take a few steps, making noise as you go. The trick does what it’s supposed to, and Cooper turns towards you, calling out, “Is someone there?”

As soon as she’s turned away from him, Bellamy jumps out of the shadows and holds the rag over Cooper’s mouth, and you see her struggle and fight as Monty calls out to Bellamy, trying to get him to stop. As soon as you hear Cooper fall silent, you step from the shadows, motioning for Clarke to join you, and Bellamy throws Cooper over his shoulder and carries her over to where you stand waiting, near the door to the biolab. You look over at Monty, knowing he's your only way into that room. “Monty, we need you to open the processing room. Please.”

“What the hell are you doing?”

Bellamy counters, “Explain later.”

“Actually, if you want me to open that door, you'll explain now!”

Bellamy looks over at him, expression growing softer. “I know it doesn't look like it, but this is how we stop the war.”

“I was stopping the war!”

Clarke, who has stayed quiet through the entire exchange, snaps, “Keep your voice down! If anyone hears us-”

He cuts her off, deadpanning, “You're killing her, aren't you?”

The three of you exchange a look, knowing that Monty seems clearly disturbed by the plan, but you also know he deserves to know the truth since you’re asking him to be involved. So you look his way, and nod once. “Yes.”

You grab the broken magnet he used last time and hold it out to him, eyes pleading. You know it’s a lot to ask of him, the engineer never fond of killing, but there’s no other way for the three of you to get in that door. Monty sighs and then shakes his head, clearly upset that he’s making whatever decision he’s decided on. He takes the magnet from your hand and mutters, “And, of course, I help because what's one more, right? We're already murderers.”

As Monty works to open the door, Bellamy counters, “That's not fair. We're talking about taking one life to save hundreds.”

“Really?” He turns to look at Bellamy, stalling his movements. “Then let's kill Octavia.”

Bellamy drops his gaze, and you and Clarke avoid Monty’s eyes, aware that discussion has already been had, and didn't play out the way anyone wanted it to. Monty shakes his head again and turns back to the lock. “Didn't think so.”

You hear the lock click and Monty pushes the door open a crack before he turns and walks away, not looking at any of you. He drops the magnet on the way out, and Bellamy calls out to him, voice pleading, but Monty never turns around, never acknowledges any of you. He just shoulders his burden and walks out the door, leaving the three of you to your dirty work. You look over at Bellamy, noting his torn expression, and you’re sure you must look the same because Clarke whispers, “We're doing the right thing.”

Bellamy glances at her before heading towards the open door. “If you say it enough, maybe I'll believe you.”

You follow him into the room, and Clarke walks in last, closing the door behind her. You jog ahead of Bellamy and unzip the biolab, pushing the flaps open so he can step inside and set her on the ground. Clarke hands you one of the radiation suits near the door, the one Cooper uses to protect herself when handling the worms, and you and Bellamy dress her in it as Clarke searches for worms to use. She finds something as you pull out your knife and cut a hole in between the fingers on Cooper’s glove, and Clarke drags over a large locked box labeled: “Adults. 2 days old.”

She swings open the glass cage that once held a live body and she sets the box on the edge, unlocking it and holding it in place. As soon as she sees you and Bellamy are finished, she says, “You two go stand outside. I’ll knock the box over and run over to you, and you close the lab up behind me.”

“Clarke, are you sure?”

“Yes, now go.”

You and Bellamy stand outside and hold the flaps closed, and Clarke makes sure you’re in position before she counts, “3...2...1...go!”

As the words leave her mouth she lets go of the box, leaving it to teeter precariously on the edge. She takes off running towards you and Bellamy and you pull open the flaps so she can run outside before you and Bellamy quickly bring them back together and zip them closed. As the zipper reaches the floor, the movement of the worms becomes too much and the box shifts to the right, into the open air, falling off the ledge and tumbling to the ground. You shiver as you watch them scramble out of the box, seeking the warmth of a human body, and it isn't long before they find Cooper and get into her suit. You see her body jerk as they burrow into her skin, but still she doesn't wake.

It takes a few minutes of waiting and watching before Cooper wakes with a start, slowly trying to piece together what happened to her. But as she turns, she sees the open box of worms and watches as a few scurry past, and she pulls herself to her feet as fast as she can, catching a glimpse of her torn glove in the process. She turns, clearly ready to head for the door, but her eyes fall on the three of you instead. She’s clearly fighting back tears as she yells, “You'll all die for this.”

Seconds after she says it, she lurches forward, falling onto her knees, groaning out in pain. She tugs off her helmet and struggles to get the suit unzipped, crying out in pain as she does. You watch in horror, aware of exactly what’s happening as she tugs up her shirt to reveal her bare torso. You see multiple worms slither beneath her skin and you shiver as she cries out in pain and screams, “Please make it stop!”

You turn away, no longer able to look, subconsciously ducking your head towards Bellamy’s chest, using him to shield your eyes. It takes a second for you to realize what you’ve done, and you start to pull away, feeling awkward, but he surprises you by wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you closer. Clarke turns to look at the two of you, and though you can't see it, she fights to hide the smile that threatens to break onto her face. Instead, reminded of Cooper’s presence by another scream of pain, she mutters, “Let's go, it'll work. Octavia will have to surrender.”

She turns and leaves, and Bellamy hesitates for a moment before he turns you both, putting his hand on your lower back to guide you forward. The three of you head out into the farm, pulling the door closed, making sure it locks behind you. Clarke grabs Monty’s discarded magnet on her way out and turns to you. “You signal Indra, we’ll meet in our tent. Bellamy and I will take different routes and meet you there.”

You nod and the three of you split off, and you start on the path that will take you through the atrium. The sound of war preparations grows louder as you get closer, punctuated by shouts, the clang of weapons, and the thud of last minute sparring. As you step into the atrium and follow the ramp up to the exit, you casually seek out Indra, careful to not draw attention to yourself. When you finally find her, you see that her eyes are already on you, and you nod your head, so small that no one can tell. She gives you the smallest of nods back before she turns her gaze back to her troops and begins to give commands, leaving you to slip out of the bunker and into the cool night air.

You look up at the stars as you follow the streets to your tent, in no rush to have the post mission discussion which will likely include a recap of the murder you just comitted with your twin and Bellamy. You trace a few constellations as you scan the sky, disappointment rising in you when you reach the tent faster than you expected. Bellamy and Clarke are already inside when you arrive, Clarke sitting on the bed and anxiously wringing her hands as she waits for you, while Bellamy paces in the space, his new normal. They look at you expectantly as you come in, and you nod, letting them know it's done, before you plop down onto the bed beside Clarke.

The three of you remain in silence for a long time, no one eager to discuss what you just did, and you’re grateful for that. You’re relieved that Bellamy and Clarke seem just as distressed as you do at what you’ve done, though you know the three of you had no other choice. Clarke is finally the first one to break the silence, and she lifts her gaze to Bellamy, looking remorseful. “You're a good brother, Bellamy. I'm sorry that I thought I could-”

He finishes for her, “Kill my sister? The truth is, if she was anybody else, I would've beat you to it.”

You smile at them, glad the two most important people to you are now burying the hatchet, and you shake your head at Bellamy’s words. “I don't think that’s true. Maybe the old Bellamy would have, but I saw your face in there, and I know this version of you wouldn’t.”

Suddenly, Octavia bursts into the tent, and you have a split second to wonder how much she’s heard before she points at Clarke and demands, “Take her.”

People file into the tent, one guard pointing a gun at Clarke, and the two of you scramble to your feet in shock. Bellamy instinctively steps closer, as Miller walks into the room and sets his glare onto your sister. “You're under arrest for the murder of Kara Cooper.”

You look at him, and then Octavia in complete shock, as Bellamy exclaims, “What? This is insane!

“Is it?” Octavia cocks her head to the side as she appraises the three of you, “We weren't taking the worms. The eggs are already loaded in the rover, so what was Cooper doing there?”

The three of you exchange a shocked look, as Miller grabs Clarke’s arms and pulls them behind her back to cuff her. Octavia keeps her eyes solely on Bellamy. “Careful, big brother, or I'll think you helped her, and we don't have enough prisoners to settle this in the arena.”

You look at Clarke, growing worried and she shakes her head, warning you to stay silent. You start to comply until you hear Octavia muse, “Oh, well. I guess we'll have to settle for an execution.”

She turns and heads out of the tent, and your eyes go wide as you look at your twin, not sure you’re even processing the words. Miller grabs Clarke and starts to pull her away, and you look at him, begging, “Miller, let her go! This is crazy, she didn't do anything!”

But Miller keeps pulling her away as Clarke fights back, dragging her feet. You lunge at them, trying to reach them and pull your twin back to you, only to be held back by Bellamy. You fight against him as you yell out to his sister, “Octavia, get back here! Octavia!”

Clarke calls your name through your yelling, locking eyes with you. “Keep Madi safe, promise me!”

You feel tears well up in your eyes, but you nod. “I promise!”

She relents, allowing Miller to take her away, relieved that even if she dies, Madi will be safe. You, however, do not relent, continuing to kick and scream and call out to Octavia, Miller, and Clarke long after they’ve gone. Bellamy holds you the entire time, letting you tire yourself out until you’re a mess of tears, sobbing over the loss of your twin. Once you switch to crying, he lowers himself onto the bed, holding you in his arms as you cry until you have nothing left. No tears, no energy, just an empty feeling.

You fall silent, staring at the wall, too upset to do anything, and Bellamy starts to quietly hum Clair de lune, tears spilling from your eyes again as he comforts you. You don't know how long the two of you stay like that, but it feels like forever, and through your heartbreak you’re comforted by the fact that at least right now, he’s here for you. He may not love you anymore, but he’s not running to abandon you, and maybe that’s enough.

Eventually, he lays you out in the bed, tugging off your boots and getting you comfortable, pulling the blanket up to your chin. And then he stands, turning to walk away and leave you alone. Panicked, you reach out for him, grabbing his wrist and stopping him, and through your raspy throat you ask, “Where are you going?”

He doesn’t look at you, his gaze firmly fixed on the wall, and you start to worry that you scared him away. He mutters, “To make things right.”

Before you can ask what that means, he pulls your fingers from his arm and turns away from you, disappearing from the tent and leaving you alone. You feel tears threaten to fall again, despite feeling cried out, now completely abandoned. Your twin is gone, and your former lover is gone now too. You close your eyes, trying to clear your mind, praying to the Universe that sleep takes you quickly.

And for once, the Universe feels pity on you and grants your request, sending you into a deep sleep before you can even finish your prayer.

next chapter

#the 100 #the 100 rewrite #bellamy blake #bellamy blake x reader #bellamy blake fanfiction

69 notes · View notes

p-artsypants · 4 years

Text

List of All My Fics!

Every once in a while, I’ll update this list and share it. It is always available on my blog! (I’m up to 54 fics for multiple fandoms! 😱)

Find most, if not more, of these fics on:

Fanfiction.net | Archive of Our Own | Wattpad

(~AU’s, *Finished, ❤️Author’s Favorites)

Kingdom Hearts

~❤️Rage Awakened AO3 | FF.net- Ten years ago, Terra, Aqua, and Ventus lost their fellow apprentice, Sora, in Deep Jungle. Now, they are to return with two new students, Riku and Kairi, to lock the heart of the world. All the while, something watches from the trees. Feral!Sora AU

My Kingdom for a Heart AO3 | FF.Net - The curse of being one of the Princesses of heart, is that there’s always someone out to get you. As Xemnas looked failure in the face, he reached out in a last ditch effort and destroyed Kairi’s heart. Now her friends must travel the worlds again. Sora, to find a way to recover Kairi’s heart, and Riku, to make amends to those he has wronged. All the while, the darkness grows.

Miraculous Ladybug

One Shots

*❤️Amalgam- When an young man is rejected for being ‘incompatible’ he turns into the akuma ‘Amalgam’ able to fuse two people together. And later Adrien and Marinette would debate if it was lucky or unlucky that they got hit. (Also Available in Russian)

*Sing We All Noel- After receiving the worst Christmas present ever from his father, Chat Noir finds himself out on the streets with nowhere to go on Christmas Eve. Thankfully, Ladybug finds him and brings him home.

*Speechless- In a world where everyone has a soulmark, the first words their soulmate will say to them, Marinette is born without one. But Adrien Agreste has two. Curious, considering he’s mute.

*❤️Tunnels of Love- The night started out with an accidental kiss from Adrien Agreste, and ended with her bleeding in the Catacombs of Paris. Ladybug, the wielder of the miraculous of good luck. Yeah right. (Some blood)

*The Reveal That Wasn’t- First Parts My ending to kittybug’s Tumblr Prompt

*What A Mess We’re In- Ladybug has a lot on her mind, and when Chat Noir bugs her enough, she tells him she’s going to confess to her Crush, Adrien Agreste. Chat’s reaction is not what she’s expecting.

*Oblivi-oh no! - A retelling of Oblivio, except Ladybug is the only one to lose her memory. How will Chat deal?

*Bad Day (3 chapters) - Marinette was Ladybug! This was Adrien’s luckiest day ever! Except it wasn’t, because all his good luck was used up in one go. Turns out this might be the worst day of his life.

*One Win, So Many Losses- Marinette was forced to break up with Adrien. It had been a low blow from Gabriel, to be sure. But she was Ladybug. She’d find a solution…right? An alternate ending to Chat Blanc, where Adrien doesn’t Cataclysm the akuma.

*Five Minutes- Gabriel has had enough of all these girls fighting over Adrien. He decides it’s high time Adrien picks one, and arranges the perfect opportunity for him to do so. Each candidate has five minutes to present why they’d be a good girlfriend. Marinette decides to take this opportunity to shoot her shot.

~*Panache- Every eligible maiden was invited to the Prince's ball. That included Marinette, scullery maid in her own household. But her stepsisters destroyed her dress, and she can't go to the ball in rags. Or can she? (Cinderella!AU)

*Perfect, No Matter What-In which Gabriel sets the bar even lower for himself, a reveal happens because of pain medication, and the new guardian actually goes to Chloé for advice.

Long Fics

*❤️Longest Night- (FF.net | Ao3) - The day started out sucky to begin with. Her crush ousted to the class and Adrien. Lila taking pride in exacting her revenge. But by the time patrol was over, a young man was dead, and Ladybug’s identity was at risk. Lila was the least of her concerns. Good thing Adrien was taking it all like a champ. (Rated M for scenes of torture)

*❤️Nine Lives- (FF.net) When Adrien Agreste is scheduled to go to a Military School in Germany, Chat Noir must make a critical decision. Does he give up his Miraculous? Or does he give up his life as Adrien? I’ll save you the trouble of guessing, he gives up being Adrien.

*Tender Words- When Marinette finally gets the guts to confess her feelings for Adrien, some things go so wrong, and other things go so right.

*Integrity- Overwhelmed with her responsibilities, guilt, and drama, Marinette has an emotional breakdown in front of everyone, and even hands over her earrings in a moment of weakness. Only for a few seconds, but the damage was done. Adrien’s pretty quick on the uptake like that.

~Much Obliged- Everyone deals with grief differently. Some take to drinking, others devote themselves to charity. Adrien Agreste? Well, he became a cowboy. Marinette Dupain-Cheng is a witch, one of very few in the world. She knows what it's like to be doubted, and assumed delusional. Maybe that's why they got along so well. Or maybe it's just because they both like big hats. AU where everything is the same, except instead of superheroes, Adrien is a Cowboy and Marinette is a witch. (Unfinished) (Based on a AU by @bugaboo-n-bananoir)

I'll Handle This- “I’ll solve all your problems,” Plagg had said. “You just have to agree to it.” A fixed relationship with his father, Lila to stop bothering him, and Ladybug to fall in love with him? Who wouldn’t agree to that? Except Plagg was the God of Destruction and Chaos and had a more…hands-on approach. Adrien just wants his body back. (Body swap fic)

How To Train Your Dragon

One Shots

The Vikings Have Their Tea (FF.Net | AO3)

Arranged Marriage- Takes place at the beginning of HTTYD

❤️Breathe- Survival of the fittest

~Childhood Friends- At the Sandbox

❤️Easy Fix- In which Hiccup has a bad day

~Fashion Designer- Astrid needs a fill in

❤️Frozen- In Which Astrid takes a Dip and things get frisky (Rated M)

❤️Headache- In Which Hiccup hits his head….really hard

❤️Heir- In Which Hiccup is Picked (Longer version by FateCharms)

Illness- In Which Stoick is a dad

~Illusionist- Trick gone wrong

~In the Walls- In which there’s a poop ghost

~Knocking On The Wrong Door (2) - A chance encounter

❤️Messages- Astrid is Frustrated with Hiccup’s obliviousness

~To Mirkwood- Hiccup is not a dwarf

~Monster Falls- Hiccup and Astrid take a dip

❤️Mute- In which there’s a quiet stranger

~Music Video (ImgHS)- He didn’t expect it

❤️Operation: Lovebirds- In Which the gang makes a plan, and Hiccup gets Drunk

~Over- Too many nightmares

~Partners in Crime- A normal day at work

~Pirate- Astrid is the greatest treasure

~Prince- He doesn’t want to be a broken King

❤️Sorting Things Out- In Which Astrid gets her ducks in a row

~The Dragon and The Dame- Beauty and the Beast Au

The Pit- In Which Hiccup is rescued

Hide and Seek- Part 1

Lost and Found- Part 2

Long fics:

*❤️Infernal Responsibility- Being the son of the chief takes brains, courage, and a lot of patience. But at his father’s the request for marriage, Hiccup decides he has had enough. When he seeks out a life of ease, he runs into more than what he bargained for.

*❤️Roses and Lilies- “Astrid, you and I both know you’re much tougher than I am. You’re more brave, and a better fighter…but just for a little while…could we pretend that I’m the one protecting you?” “Oh gods yes!” (Also Available in Spanish!)

*~What the Water Gave Me- The sea is a wild and dangerous thing, something that cannot be foretold or predicted. Hiccup discovered this many years ago, in human naiveté. Yet, what was meant as a sacrifice became a new life, one like no one could comprehend. He now finds himself once more in the unknowing hands of those that sentenced him to death. He only prays things will be different this time. Merman!AU

*Parasite- Soulsnatcher Dragons are rare but deadly. But, As Hiccup finds out, it’s the eggs you have to watch out for.

*~320 State Street- Gobber’s Goods. A Hardware Store that was rumored to have everything you needed. She thought she only needed a job. Turns out, she needed a lot more than that. (A Modern AU no one asked for)

*~❤️The North Tower- When Finn Hofferson died, Astrid inherited his castle in Wales…and a whole lot more. Something sinister lurks in the North Tower.

*~❤️Boy Toy- AO3 - At the age of 21, Princess Astrid lawfully has to pick a husband. But when the perfect groom is nowhere to be found, she requests the toymaker to create one for her. It’s safe to say that everyone in the kingdom is a little concerned. (Pinocchio!AU I guess?)

No, You Go First- AO3 - The Chief of Berk was a headstrong viking, stubborn and full of pride, and willing to do whatever it takes to keep his village safe. But for a moment, he puts that aside, and listens to his son. In which Hiccup convinces his dad not to make him go through Dragon Training, and the subsequent changes that follow.

*In Due Time- AO3 - As another illness sweeps through Berk, Gothi needs another ingredient for her medicine…one that doesn’t exist anymore. Fortunately, she kept that old spell book around for such an occasion. Big Hiccup is sent to five years into the past, and his younger self sent to take his place in the future. But it’s only a few days, what could go wrong?

Trollhunters: Tales from Arcadia

❤️Arcadia or Bust- In Which Arcadia welcomes back it’s underground citizens.

Teen Titans

Oneshots:

~Big Brother- Don’t turn out the light (Horror)

Dear Jason- Bruce Writes a letter

Just Drawing- Bruce thinks about Robin

The Prisoner- Starfire is Guilty

Of Mustard and Three Foot Purple Tongues- A collection of Oneshots and Drabbles

Long Fics (*Finished):

*~❤️Carol of the Bells- High in the dark Bell Tower of Notre Dame, there lives a mysterious bell ringer. Legend tells of the angel who fell from the sky, and the curse she bares. There are few who know her true identity though; her master, the priest, and the acrobat that performs on the streets below. Based loosely on ‘The Hunchback of Notre Dame’ RobxStar and slight BBxRae

*No Escape- Three years ago, Starfire escaped an Alien race called the Gordanians, to arrive on Earth. They’re back, and ready to put Starfire back where she belongs, behind reinforced Titanium bars. Robin’s not about to let her go…if only he hadn’t got captured first. How does it feel to be the alien, Robin?

*Now you Know My Pain- When the new Villain, Gender Bender, comes to down, the Titans find themselves in an odd situation. They’ve been turned into the opposite gender against their will! Now in order to change back, they must learn to understand the gender they’ve turned into. Rated T for obvious reasons. A great read if you’ve ever wondered why girls or guys do [blank].

*Paint it Black- Robin disappeared three months ago. Now, Jump City’s crime rate is mysteriously being taken care of by a normal, albeit strange, teenage boy who goes by the name Black. As the Titans befriend this lunatic, they begin to see a relation between him and their missing leader. Will they be able to find Robin, or will Black turn them all insane as himself? Actually, contains NO OC.

*Saving Grace- “When I’m done with you, you won’t be able to walk upright or speak coherent sentences and all you’ll see is my mask and my voice repeating in your head…Weak. Richard Grayson, I am not tough, I am everything that you fear.” Happy Ending! Smudge of RobStar. NO Slash!

Other Fandoms

Final Fantasy XV

❤️Requiem for Pitioss-“O King. The god’s have heard your cries. Know that we weep with you. The Oracle’s calling has not yet been fulfilled. But…Lunafreya as you know her cannot return the way she was.” Noctis looked up, hopeful. “But she can return!” Canon divergence from Chapter 9. Happy ending. Some spoilers.

Beauty and the Beast

*❤️Behold the Beast- A Oneshot alternate ending to the Animated Film

Cinderella

*❤️Midnight- “When the clock strikes twelve, the spell will be broken,” the fairy godmother had warned. A retelling of the story, when Cinderella doesn’t escape the ball in time. Oneshot

*So This is Love- What if Jaq and Gus hadn’t made it in time to help Cinderella? A new twist on the ending of the classic Fairytale, and what lies beyond the story. She still gets her happy ending and her Prince, and her step family gets their just deserts.

Sleeping Beauty

*❤️A Love Song Back To Me- Maleficent saw the loophole that stared her in the face. Prince Phillip would break the curse in time, for sure. After all, he was betrothed to Aurora. So in an effort for her evil plan to stay in action, Maleficent takes care of the young prince herself. Phillip never imagined having to live off the land like the birds above. Alternate twist on the classic Disney tale.

Escaflowne

Down Feathers- Hitomi’s depressed. She’s been away from Van too long, he comes back to visit her…but what if something went wrong with the transfer? (Not finished. Never will be finished. Mwahaha) Circa 2012

*Angel’s Wounds- Fanelia’s been victorious in their most recent battle with Basrum. Unfortunately, someone is wounded and just seeks solace in his love that lives so far away. Post Anime.

Momma Look Sharp- With the war between Fanelia and Basrum finally coming to a close, the kingdom is celebrating. The young king, however, is suffering from an experience unlike any he had before. Van finally seeks solace in his wife.

#kingdom hearts #miraculous ladybug #ml #kh #disney #httyd #how to train your dragon #Teen Titans #sleeping beauty #cinderella #escaflowne #trollhunters #toa #beauty and the beast #fanfiction

43 notes · View notes

feferipeixes · 3 years

Text

The Good Lines (2/3)

Trapped in an unfamiliar world, Alcor finds that he doesn’t mind the loneliness. He doesn’t care about finding a way out. He doesn’t even care about Mizar. All he cares about is solving puzzles, and drawing the good lines.

(or: I Think Dipper Should Play The Witness)

Chapter 2: Hotel (link to chapter 1) (3)

(See the most updated version on AO3!)

===

There was an earth-shaking roar in the sky as Mizar drew the line. Alcor couldn’t quite catch exactly how she did it since she wasn’t there with him in person, but the noise it made was deafening. He tried to look around for the panel responsible but there were no panels around him that he hadn’t already solved himself. It happened so quickly, and then there was the sound of an explosion, followed by a building taking form directly in front of him.

He eyed it uneasily. “This is the hotel?”

“Yep.” Mizar’s voice still came through clear as day. “This will take you out of the game. Then you’ll be free.”

“I’m not -” he started, but thought better of it. He could feel Mizar’s eyes on him from another world, looking down through a television screen, and figured he’d caused her enough stress. “Okay. Here we go.”

It’s not like he had much of a choice anyway. The entrance to the hotel had replaced the only exit from the garden he’d been standing in. He approached the opening, peering down the long hallway lined with fancy sconces. He took a step inside and immediately the ambient hum of the outdoors cut out. He may have thought it was quiet on the island before but it was nothing compared to the emptiness he was feeling now. He had to turn around just to verify that the outside even still existed. Two steps in and he already felt swallowed up by the unknown.

“Dipper?” Mizar’s voice came out of nowhere, and Alcor nearly jumped out of his skin. “Sorry! Are you alright?”

Alcor clutched his chest and took a few deep breaths before responding. “Yeah. I’m fine.” His wings didn’t get the memo, flapping hard against the wall and his back. “This place isn’t weird and creepy at all.”

He couldn’t see her, but Alcor could practically hear the frown in Mizar’s voice. “I thought you loved the weird and creepy.”

“I do! I really do.” He took some shaky steps down the hall to what looked like a reception desk. It sat in front of a wide pillar decorated with a pattern of orange spikes that fanned up and out across the ceiling like a sunburst. “In fact, I’d kinda love to explore a place like this.” Turning a corner, he found himself face-to-face with a large painting of a windmill, and he remembered a similar structure he’d come across in the island’s town. A structure that sat atop a network of underground tunnels, most of which were blocked off by wooden gates he hadn’t been able to bypass. “It’s the thought of all the other stuff I won’t get the chance to explore that’s getting me down.”

“I’m sorry,” came the response.

Alcor waited for more, but more didn’t come. Sighing, he headed past the reception, where there was a bar, some seating, and a balcony. Eyes growing wide, he approached the edge and looked out. Somehow, despite not climbing any stairs from where he was in the garden, the balcony was high enough that he could see half the island. His eyes passed over the desert, the town, the forest, and up to the structure at the top of the mountain. It gave him the feeling that he wasn’t supposed to be there, that the ground he was standing on didn’t exist and he was soaring freely through paradise.

“No, don’t do that!” Mizar’s voice snapped.

Alcor blinked and broke out of his thoughts. Without intending to, he’d flared his wings large and wide, and was standing in a position like he was ready to dive forward. Taking a step backward, he let his wings shrink and balled his hands into fists. “I didn’t… I didn’t mean to. I wasn’t going to.”

Mizar gulped -- a strange sound to get beamed so clearly into Alcor’s head. “That’s alright. It’s not your fault. How about… you keep going?”

He shrugged, and looked around. A set of stairs led to a doorway on the second floor of the hotel, and he followed them up. He glanced back once more before entering. “If my kid really made this for me, he did a really good job.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.” Alcor went through the doorway, and found himself inexplicably in what looked like a cave. Diamond-shaped hanging fixtures bathed the room in an eerie green glow. “Back when I was human, I spent all my time trying to uncover the mysteries of Gravity Falls. He would’ve known that I couldn’t resist a good mystery. I mean, like -” (he walked a little further, to where a set of lounge chairs overlooked a gap in the cave wall) “what the hell is this? Why is this hotel like this?”

He peered through the gap and saw that it dropped down into another cave, a cave in which he couldn’t help but notice there were puzzle panels. Some were mounted onto the walls, some seemed to be suspended from the ceiling on thick cables. All of them were deactivated, and Alcor’s heart sank at the thought that he wouldn’t get to know what kind of puzzles they concealed.

“Even on the way out,” he mused, “My kid has to go and throw more secrets at me.”

“There are mysteries out here, too,” Mizar said after a beat.

Alcor heard the waver in her voice and sighed again. “Yeah, yeah, I know. It’s just not as fun when I already know the answers to everything out there.”

She didn’t respond to that either, so he pressed onward. The passage got narrower, and he almost had to squeeze himself through a couple of the gaps.

“I have to admit, though,” he spoke up, “that it’ll be nice to have my magic back. If I could change my shape, I’d be through here in no time. Better yet, I could just tesser to the end of this thing! Doing puzzles all day is fun, but maybe I gotta realize there’s other stuff that’s more important to me.”

There was a snort and a half-suppressed giggle. “Really. And that’s magic? Not, like, your family?”

Alcor put on a display of thinking about it and smirked. “Yep! Definitely magic. Definitely not the people who love me enough to go through hell saving me from a virtual reality… game…” He trailed off as he passed by another gap in the wall. It looked out over another cave, although unlike the last one, this one was wide open and mostly empty.

“Dipper?” The giggle in Mizar’s voice trailed off too. “Why’d you stop?”

Water rushed beneath his feet, flowing into the chamber below, lapping up against the shore and the chunk of ground sticking out in the center of the room. In the middle of this chunk was a small table, illuminated by a single light hanging from the ceiling, and on this table was… something.

“What’s… that?” he breathed.

“What’s what? Uhh...” she responded. There was some banging in his head, the sound of drawers opening and closing, of devices being moved around. “Sorry, everything went a bit fuzzy, uhh…” A loud crash followed by the sizzle of a CRT monitor turning on and finally a sigh of relief. “Ah, fixed it! Okay, let me, uh… Oh. Oh no. Shit.”

It was hard to tell what the thing on the table was from a distance. There were two black boxes angled outward, and there was something else behind them. Whatever it was, it had a thick wire trailing out of it. Alcor wondered where it went.

“Shit! Don’t look at that. It’s… nothing!”

He glanced up, and noticed another hole in the wall across the room, through which he was surprised to see a figure in a dark suit with a floating top hat. The figure’s wings were flapping wildly. He looked over his shoulder -- huh. Looked like his own wings were doing that too.

“There’s nothing interesting down there. Just a boring cave! Hey, how about you keep going through the hotel? There’s another scenic overlook of the island coming up! That’ll be fun to look at, right?”

Alcor turned around and saw that there was a gap in the cave wall directly behind him. Peering through it, he found himself viewing the same cave as before, but from the opposite side. From this angle, he could see the panel mounted in front of the other objects on the table.

And he could see that it was active.

“Dipper, please,” Mizar pleaded. “You don’t want to do that. It’s not worth it. You won’t be able to solve it.”

“Seriously?” he said, remembering that he could talk. “That just makes me want to check it out even more. I’ll be quick, I just really wanna know what that thing is.”

Taking a few steps back, Alcor stretched his arms and wings. He took his suit jacket off and tossed it aside, where it promptly vanished. Rolling his sleeves up, he rubbed his hands together and grinned. Then he ran forward and dove through the opening into the cave below.

“WHAT are you DOING?” Mizar yelled, her voice clipping out the microphone she was using to speak with him. “That’s not even POSSIBLE. You can’t jump or go off ledges in this game! I checked!”

Ignoring her, Alcor drifted downward, feeling the rush of air in his face for the first time in a while. He touched ground, shoes clacking against the stone, and let the force of the impact ripple through him. He was pretty sure Mizar was right -- that you couldn’t jump in this game -- but he didn’t care. There was only one thing he cared about right now.

Up close, he could see that the object on the table was a record player, with the two black boxes being speakers. There was a record already mounted on the device; instead of a sticker in the middle to identify what was on it, it only bore an image of an orange sunburst, just like the decoration in the hotel lobby. And finally, there was a panel on the table, which he could only assume would start or stop the record.

It was odd, to be sure. What would such a device be doing in a cave? Weird stuff like that was always intriguing, sure, but presumably all the device did was play music. Why had Mizar said that he wouldn't be able to solve it?

[ Because the music is only part of the puzzle, ] a metallic voice said, and Alcor's eyes widened in surprise.

“Kid?” he asked.

[ Hi Dad. Nice to talk to you again. I hope you're enjoying the game. ]

“It's really you,” Alcor marveled. “Mizar was right. You're the one who made all of this. The island, the puzzles, everything.”

[ Sure did! ] the virus replied with a vaguely smug note to his synthesized voice. [ I worked real hard on it, cause I only want the best of the best for my dad. And speaking of the best, you're in luck! You've stumbled into my magnum opus. I call it - ]

There was a bang, like a fist coming down on a table, and Mizar's voice rang out into the cave. “No! Don't listen to it!”

[ - The Challenge. ]

Alcor felt a tingle run down his spine. “That’s so foreboding! What is it?”

[ It’s a test of your puzzle-solving abilities! Two songs will play, and you’ll have until the end of the second one to solve a set of randomly generated puzzles. If the music stops, you have to start all over with new puzzles! But if you can solve them all in time, a fabulous prize waits for you at the end! ]

“A prize?” There was a muffled pounding noise in the distance, but Alcor tuned it out. “What’s the prize?”

Al-V’s smile was practically audible. [ Why don't you find out for yourself? ]

The panel on the table. Alcor approached it, enrapt with curiosity, and put his finger on the start circle. There were two ends to the panel. One was a tiny little line sticking out of the circle. He tried that one first, and nothing seemed to happen. Pursing his lips, he pressed on the circle again and dragged his finger down the long path that extended the full length of the panel.

“Wait!” Mizar yelled before he could lift his finger. “Dipper, it's a trap! Please listen to me! You were so close to escaping the game! Think of your family! They miss you! This can't be -”

Al-V’s voice cut over Mizar's. [ Family, schmamily. Think of all the puzzles waiting for you to solve them. Won't that be fun? At least give it a try. ]

There was a lump in Alcor's throat and he swallowed hard to get past it. “I… Sorry Mizar.” He lifted his finger, and the panel made a clicking noise. “I gotta see what this is.”

There was a soft rumble as the record player activated. The tonearm glided into position above the record, which slowly began to spin. After a moment, the thick cable attached to the player lit up, illuminating a puzzle mounted on the wall. And then, the first few notes of Anitra’s Dance filtered through the speakers.

Bum da da, bum da da

Alcor broke out into a huge smile. The silence which had haunted him as long as he’d been on the island was gone; now his body was being scooped up and set adrift by the music. The mesmerizing strings, like the lying tongue of a devil; the passionate bass, giving urgency to the affair; the wail of echoes careening off the cave walls. He’d missed this. He wished he had his violin so he could join in.

“The songs are a distraction!” Mizar was still there, sort of, still trying to talk to him even though he could barely hear her over the music. “They’re just there to make it harder to focus on the puzzles!”

“Oh. Oh yeah,” Alcor murmured, his smile drooping slightly. For the briefest moment, Mizar thought she’d gotten through to him, but then he smiled again and flew over to the illuminated panel. “New puzzles for me to solve. Gotta draw the good lines.”

“No!” she screamed, but it was too late. His hand flew across the panel, solving it with ease, and the music swelled triumphantly, completely drowning out Mizar’s voice. The next panel lit up, displaying a maze three times as big as the first one, and Alcor’s grin widened. This was going to be good.

The difficulty of the puzzles only increased from there. Soon Alcor was swooping through a tunnel into another cave, which he immediately recognized as the one with the deactivated panels he’d spied from the hotel. Now, however, they were turning on, one at a time, solve after solve after solve. Though each puzzle took progressively longer for him to figure out, Alcor revelled in every second of it, even as the first song came to a finish and Mizar’s cries faded back into his awareness, why! won’t! you! listen! to! me!

“Hi Miz,” he chirped as the music changed to In the Hall of the Mountain King, and it set her blood boiling.

Duh duh duh duh dadada…

“Having fun?” she grumbled.

“Oh, yeah!” He shot a pair of finger guns at no one in particular, but didn’t take his eyes off the puzzle. “This one’s hard, though. Been stuck on it for a little while.”

Dadada… dadada...

“A minute and a half,” Mizar replied. “You’re not even doing it right.”

“Ugh, I know. I’ll figure it out though. I’ve got time.”

Duh duh duh duh dadada ba dadadadada…

“You’ve got like two minutes left to do seven puzzles. You don’t have time.”

Alcor grimaced. “Okay, negative. If I can’t solve it in time then I’ll just try again.”

Dun dun dun dun dadada,

Dadada,

“So, what, you’re just gonna stay in this stupid game forever? Is that it?”

Alcor’s hand slipped, and he drew a bad line. The panel turned off, forcing him to trudge back to the previous one to solve it again. "I said I'll come out after I get the prize, I can do this, I promise..."

Dun dun dun dun dadada DA da ba ba da da!

"You're not gonna beat it!” Mizar spat. “That's not me not believing in you -- I know for a fact that the virus coded the challenge so that you specifically would always get stumped at some part of it!"

DUN dun dun dun dadada, WA WA WA WA!

Amidst music rising to a heart-pounding clamor, Alcor hurried back to the panel he’d been stuck on. "Yeah, it's random, I know, and sometimes the puzzles it makes are really hard, but if I keep practicing..."

DUN DUN DUN DUN DADADA BA DA DA DA BA DA!

"No, Dipper!”

DUN DUN DUN DUN DADADA BA DA DA DA BA DA!

Mizar yelled at the top of her lungs to be heard over the music. “That's you trusting the game to always give you solvable puzzles! How do you know they'll always be solvable?”

DUN DA! DUN DA! Dun dun dun dun dadada ba da da da ba da!

”How do you know the virus isn't just nerd-sniping you until the music stops playing and you have to start over?”

Dun wa wa wa wa wa wa wa!

”Why do you trust this game more than you trust me????"

Dum tsh!

With two final, crashing notes, the song came to an end. There was a beat, during which Mizar could see Alcor standing very still, his hand still on a glowing panel. Then there was a loud beep as all of the panels in the cave deactivated, followed by the distant click of the record player turning off.

Alcor clenched his fist. “You want to know why I can’t trust you?”

“Um. Yeah I do,” Mizar replied, taken aback. “Like I was saying -”

Alcor’s words came out slow and metered, but there was a nasty undertone to his voice. “It’s because you lie.”

He looked up from the deactivated panel and stared at the ceiling, directly where she was watching from, and she could see streaks of yellow running down his face. “Every time I get close to you. Every time I get close to anyone. You mortals love to say I’ll always be here for you and like an idiot I keep letting myself believe it, but then you die. Everyone I’ve ever cared about has died or will die and there I still am, suffering and mourning and alone.”

“B-but-” Mizar stammered.

Alcor snarled at her, baring two rows of shark-like teeth and spraying spit at the wall. Mizar’s mouth snapped shut.

“This game doesn’t lie to me,” he continued, walking back toward the record player but not taking his eyes off her. “A puzzle is just a puzzle. It has an answer that I can figure out if I stare at it long enough, or maybe I won’t and that’s okay too. Puzzles don’t lie to you and say people don’t really think of you as a monster and then go research banishment rituals behind your back.”

“I-I wasn’t going to actually use it!” Mizar replied, in unison with Alcor saying the exact same words. “I was only looking it up just in case! Just to reassure my brother -- he has anxiety!”

“Yeah, how many times do you think someone’s said that to me before?” Alcor spat. “I don’t blame you for being nervous around me. I literally am a monster. Just don’t fucking lie to me about it, okay?”

“Dipper, please! Think about all the people who love you. You can’t just leave them behind!”

Alcor stopped in front of the record player and turned away. “If they can do it to me, I can do it to them,” he murmured. Then he slid his finger across the control panel again, and the world went dark.

Mizar gripped her computer screen. “Dipper? Dipper, what’s going on?”

The humming from the machine had stopped, and all she could hear was the ringing in her ear from Dipper’s shout. Mizar rifled through the desk drawers, looking for an instruction manual or a cheat sheet or anything that would help her reach her brother again. Every scrap of paper she found was covered in strange symbols that she recognized as puzzles from the game. She knew it was a fruitless search. After all, the system was designed to trap someone, not to let them go.

She looked behind her, to the two person-sized capsules pushed up against the wall. One was empty, with its lid discarded on the floor. Mizar walked over to the other one and pressed her face up to the glass. Beyond the window rested Dipper’s physical body, hooked up to a dizzying array of cables and electrodes. It made her mind itch to look at. His body was as fake as the avatar he was controlling in the video game. But it was an anchor for his soul, and Al-V did what he did best with it: reverse engineered it, figured out how to anchor the demon’s mind in something else.

Mizar once again eyed the power outlet the capsule was plugged into. Would his mind be able to escape, if she…?

“Please, Dipper,” she whimpered, in total solitude. “Please come back.”

---

Down in the cave, Alcor leaned on the record player and stared at the ground.

[ Woof! ] Al-V piped up. [ Talk about an overreaction! Want I should take over the security robots outside the building and get them to lock her in a broom closet? ]

“Forget about it,” Alcor murmured. He watched the record begin to spin -- watched the orange points of the sunburst begin to meld into a solid circle -- and imagined a smiling face in the middle. “Forget about her. I don’t need her. All I need is you, and the puzzles.”

[ Whatever you say, Dad! ] Al-V replied. [ You’re the boss, but not like in a video game sense! Ha-ha! You, uh, you gonna solve those puzzles? ]

Alcor closed his eyes for a minute, and the face stuck in his vision. When he opened them again, the record player had stopped, and the puzzles had deactivated.

“Yeah,” he said finally. “Yeah, I’m gonna solve the puzzles. I’m gonna draw the good lines. I’ll be happy.”

He swiped the panel to start the record again, and got to work.

#gravity falls #transcendence au #the witness #dipper pines #alcor the dreambender #mizar #reincarnation #fic #my stuff #long post #the good lines

10 notes · View notes

erisbaek · 4 years

Text

Stucky Fic Rec [Part One]

So I decided to split the fic recs up into parts because they will be too long otherwise. In each part I will link the Google Doc that I am typing them up in, which is where I will constantly update as I read. Within these fic recs, they’re mostly my preferences, so very few (if any) Shrinkyclinks, and ABO fics will be within them, as well as shorter fics, since I actively seek fics out that are longer than 10k (and completed)!!

The Google Doc Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/10wqr5s-CzkFzLidQgt-y4-cjudHWwVeVPWCedMjK7t0/edit?usp=sharing

The first part is formatted under the cut, if you’d prefer to stay out of the doc!

Lightning in a Bottle

Word Count: 63k Rating: Explicit Notable Tags: Shrunkyclunks, Road Trip!AU, Angst with Happy Ending Warnings: Smut, Smoking Synopsis: The problem, Steve thinks, isn’t so much his motorcycle giving up the ghost on a lonely stretch of highway through a lonely stretch of the country. He doesn’t mind stretching his legs or the prospect of hitchhiking. The problem is the roiling black blanket of storm clouds slowly spreading itself over the landscape headed his direction… Steve Rogers is looking to hitch on a highway abandoned by everyone smart enough to avoid a looming storm. Bucky Barnes is the professional storm chaser who offers him a ride.

It gets more complicated from there.

Perspective and Truth

Word Count: 16.7k Rating: Teen and Up Notable Tags: Bodyswap!AU, Emotional Hurt/Comfort Warnings: None Synopsis: Bucky and Steve end up swapping bodies and learning a lot more about each other in the process

Carbs and Conversations

Word Count: 48k Rating: Teen and Up Notable Tags: Hockey!AU, No Powers Warnings: None Synopsis: Bucky was just looking for a chance. A chance to get on the ice and play. A chance to escape from Hydra. A chance to redeem himself. He didn't include 'A chance to be friends with Steve Rogers' on the list. That would be ridiculous. Lucky for him, Steve seemed determined to be ridiculous.

So Loud and So Clear

Word Count: 26.6k Rating: Mature Notable Tags: Get Together, Slow Build Warnings: None Synopsis: Bucky had been careful, after all, leaving no trace of his comings and goings. It was horrendously disappointing to know that Rogers had found him. Bucky was a lot better than getting caught by a guy who wore the American flag as a onesie. He just really was. “Don’t you – Bucky – Bucky,” Rogers started, and to Bucky’s growing horror, it looked like Rogers was on the verge of some type of emotional eclipse. Anger, sadness, something, and Bucky wanted nothing to do with it. “Hate to break it to you, bud, but I don’t remember ever living here and I don’t remember you.”

A Loyal Viewer

Word Count: 36.1k Rating: Explicit Notable Tags: Camboy!Steve, Punk!Bucky, No Powers, Long Distance Relationship Warnings: Smut Synopsis: At almost exactly eight thirty in the evening, Steve settles on the bed before his camera and the computer. He signs into his account on Chaturbate and clicks the button that starts his stream.

In My Conditions, Love’s the Best Physician

Word Count: 9.1k Rating: Not Rated Notable Tags: Shrunkyclunks, Pharmacist!Bucky, Russian!Bucky Warnings: None Synopsis: ”This situation is a little more delicate because I don't even know if he speaks English and I'm tired of going down to the pharmacy for constipation medication and allergy pills when I haven't sneezed since 1941.” Steve shouts. The room falls silent, and he turns back around to find four pairs of stunned eyes watching him. Tony, as always, speaks first. “He?” - Or the one where Bucky is a hot pharmacist and Steve keeps making up bullshit reasons to go see him.

Rare Is This Love (Keep It Covered)

Word Count: 66.7k Rating: Explicit Notable Tags: Shrunkyclunks, Mechanic!Bucky, Slow Burn Warnings: Smut, Canonical Character Death Synopsis: It's 2014. Captain America has been out of the ice for three years and is trudging along, saving the world and trying to get used to living in the future. Steve thinks he knows how the rest of his life is going to pan out – a life of duty, which he chose when he signed up to be Erskine’s science experiment. But then, he meets Bucky Barnes: the out-of-this-world-gorgeous mechanic and war vet, who turns Steve’s life upside down and makes him question everything he thought he knew. Slowly, Steve comes to realize there is more to life than duty and punching Nazis. Just one problem though: how on earth does a 96-year-old virgin who only just realized he may not be entirely straight make the transition from crush to relationship? Cue healthy amounts of self-doubt, awkward flirting, pretty blushing, existential crises, emotional growth, and maybe, possibly, a sexual awakening.

Looking For A Place To Hide

Word Count: 33.3k Rating: Explicit Notable Tags: Endgame Fix-It, 2012!Steve Warnings: Smut Synopsis: It's 2012 and all Steve knows is that another version of himself said Bucky is alive. Steve will do anything to get his friend back, even if it means time traveling to 2023. He expects Bucky to be happy to see him, but instead he's wary, hurt. Turns out his Steve had left him for Peggy. How? Why? Steve can't believe it. Now he'll have to find a way to make sense of it all, and convince Bucky that it's the two of them to the end of the line.

The Wolf and the Sheep

Word Count: 50.5k Rating: Teen and Up Notable Tags: Shield Agent!Steve, Winter Soldier!Bucky Warnings: None Synopsis: Steve Rogers is a SHIELD agent who is recruited for a secret project: Becoming a handler for the Asset. Steve’s world is thrown for a loop when he discovers the Asset is an actual person and he needs to figure out who he is and what he’s going to do.

All Those Little Pieces

Word Count: 40.5k Rating: Mature Notable Tags: Alternating POV, Post CATW Warnings: Smut, Panic Attacks Synopsis: Steve has never forgotten Bucky Barnes. Not their childhood together, not the horror of the moment Bucky fell too far for him to reach, and not the way he's loved him all the while. Bucky has forgotten everything about Steve, at least at first. But there's still a feeling there, warm in his chest—and maybe now that he's found his way back to Steve Rogers and his sunny apartment, there's a chance it might turn into something more.

My Dear

Word Count: 29.9k Rating: Explicit Notable Tags: Post CATWS, Recovery Warnings: Smut Synopsis: The Soldier stares down at the floor, breathing hard through his nose. “And you still wanna fix me,” he says. Steve shakes his head. “There’s nothing to fix, Buck. I just want to bring you home.”

Living On My Own

Word Count: 26.1k Rating: Mature Notable Tags: Vigilante!Bucky Warnings: Blood and Gore Synopsis: James Barnes is back in the world and finds that not only has there been 1) an alien invasion, but 2) Howard Stark had a kid. One that dispenses unsolicited life advice, no less. Oh, and 3) Captain America is alive again, after getting himself killed by his own recklessness in a move so stupid only Steve could have come up with it. In which James learns to do laundry, turns into an accidental neighborhood vigilante and makes Tony Stark a happy grease monkey, all while he figures out where to stake his claim.

Chase the Lighting From the Sky

Word Count: 39.4k Rating: Explicit Notable Tags: No Powers, Age Gap, Farm!AU Warnings: Smut, Past Character Death, Animal Death Synopsis: If Bucky has to be stuck doing this ridiculous summer work program before his senior year of college, on a ranch in the middle of nowhere, then at least he’s got a hot as hell cowboy for a boss and host. Steve Rogers, owner of the Truth & Justice Ranch, is what Bucky’s completely theoretical but very imaginative bisexual fantasies are made of. Steve’s a widower though, and a nice guy in need of help, and no doubt 100% straight… so Bucky’s gonna work his ass off and keep his head down. But neither Bucky nor Steve are prepared for the friendship that forms between them as they work side by side. And they certainly aren’t expecting the budding feelings, confessions, and passions that summer heat and the loneliness of the great open plains stirs in each of them. What rages to life between them will shake each man to his core and will linger long after the storms and the summer have passed.

Cinder and Smoke

Word Count: 51.7k Rating: Explicit Notable Tags: Sheriff!Steve, Blacksmith!Bucky, Old Western Warnings: Smut, Period-Typical Homophobia, OC Death Synopsis: “They say there’s no law in Parasapa. Is that true?”

Art Thief, Heart Thief

Word Count: 58.8k Rating: Mature Notable Tags: FBI!Steve, Thief!Bucky Barnes Warnings: Smut Synopsis: Agent Steve Rogers is facing a series of art thefts that has him stumped, and looking for a break in the case. Convicted art thief and general high end criminal Bucky Barnes wants to make parole and happens to know all of the right people who could make Steve's job easier. So they strike a deal, mutually beneficial and entirely business. But a few days undercover, an undeniable growing chemistry, and some ill-timed Feelings entering the mix, and all bets are off.

Laws of Thermodynamics

Word Count: 14.6k Rating: Explicit Notable Tags: Post CATWS, Recovery Warnings: Smut Synopsis: He never had to relearn how to love Steve Rogers. It might be the one thing he never forgot.

Abstract Art

Word Count: 26.6k Rating: Teen and Up Notable Tags: Friends to Lovers, Artist!Steve, Ex Sniper!Bucky Warnings: None Synopsis: They survive almost a year of torture together, cells side by side, banter and teasing and stories. They keep each other alive. Then everything changes. They tell Bucky that Rogers's been killed. He tries to piece his life together, to move on. Steve owns an art store. He's given up looking. It's over. Except it's really not.

We Discovered Gold

Word Count: 18.7k Rating: Explicit Notable Tags: Post CACW, Fix-It, Wakanda Warnings: Smut Synopsis: “So you got these safe houses scattered all over Russia?” Steve jokes into the soft hair over Bucky's temple, not pulling away, “Or did we just get lucky?” Bucky shakes his head and then replies, “Got myself a few. It’s been a long two years.” “Yeah pal,” Steve nods, burrowing further, “I hear that.”

Never Mind to Hold

Word Count: 21.6k Rating: Mature Notable Tags: Soulmate!AU, Not CACW Compliant, Soulmarks Warnings: Brief Suicidal Ideation Synopsis: Steve didn't know the name of Bucky's soulmate. He wasn't even sure when it had appeared across Bucky's heart. But Steve knew it wasn't his name hidden under that patch.

Where There’s Smoke

Word Count: 95.1k Rating: Explicit Notable Tags: Firefighter!AU Warnings: Smut Synopsis: Steve is a Brooklyn firefighter who is about to be saddled with a new, rookie crewmate. James Barnes is that rookie, just looking for a fresh start at a new station. Steve's friends think they know what's best for him...start dating his new crewmate. Steve thinks they're crazy...or possibly right. But events from James's recent past may pose a threat to any designs they have on each other.

Let Them Eat Cake

Word Count: 31k Rating: Explicit Notable Tags: Shrunkyclunks, Pastry Chef!Steve, Sommelier!Bucky Warnings: Smut, Drug Use Synopsis: Steve picked up the piping bag and returned to the ramekins. Bucky left, though not without shooting one last look at Steve's wide back. Bucky could already tell Steve Rogers was trouble, not even counting the near-religious experiences he inspired among the staff. It wasn’t that Bucky didn’t appreciate him as well; he did. He just tended to appreciate people he found attractive from afar, because explaining the metal arm was hard, and because he didn’t really know how to handle letting someone in close. But that wasn’t why Steve was trouble, not really. Bucky wanted to know why their new pastry chef had gun calluses on his right hand.

Adrenalize Me

Word Count: 58.5k Rating: Explicit Notable Tags: Vampire!Steve Warnings: Smut, Blood Synopsis: Leaning against the side of a wall, taking an indolent drag of a cigarette, there he stood. Watching Bucky with an inscrutable gaze. Staring at Bucky for long seconds, the blond seemed to consider him before breaking the silence. “You know, nice guy like you walking alone at this hour – people might think you were looking for trouble.” Trying not to shudder at the sound of that voice, which wrapped around him like smoke, Bucky managed a smirk, lifted a brow. “Well, if I was, it looks like I found it.” Two strangers meet in a dark club. One just happens to be a vampire.

The Change in Us

Word Count: 23.4k Rating: Explicit Notable Tags: N/A Warnings: Smut Synopsis: “I’ve found your BFF,” Stark says without preamble. “My… what?” “James Barnes. Winter Soldier. Bucky. I don’t know, I don’t care, but right now he’s perched on the roof of the next building with a gun on me, and it’s not so much my idea of a relaxing afternoon, so could you get down here?” Steve hangs up and starts running.

Things That Go Bump in the Night

Word Count: 38.2k Rating: Explicit Notable Tags: Shrunkyclunks, Ex Army!Bucky Warnings: Minor Smut Synopsis: Many an odd critter and item have ended up on the front porch of the property Bucky house-sits in the Middle Of Nowhere, but a bleeding blond man is a first. A short inspection reveals the man to be none other than Steve Rogers; ex-Captain America, vigilante, and a wanted fugitive. Steve’s stay of a few days of recovery is prolonged, under instructions for him to lie low until the Avengers can sort out the mess that has become the Sokovia Accords. Bucky is pretty sure that he’s committing an act of treason by providing Steve a place to stay. He is also pretty sure that lengthy interaction with Steve makes one prone to impending headaches and possibly ulcers. And he is certain that he is, very assuredly, in danger of falling in love with Steve.

The Soldier’s Revenge

Word Count: 76.4k Rating: Explicit Notable Tags: Canon Divergence, Enemies To Lovers, Slow Burn Warnings: Smut Synopsis: Bucky Barnes turns himself in to SHIELD two years after dragging Captain America out of the Potomac River. He was deprogrammed in Wakanda and has been hunting down Hydra ever since, but he needs help if he wants to take proper revenge on his captors. He turns to his old enemies: SHIELD and the Avengers, but it'll take more than a few words to win their trust after the Winter Soldier brought SHIELD to its knees not long before. Now at SHIELD's mercy, the only thing that stands between Bucky and his revenge is the approval of Captain Rogers: a self-righteous asshole that Bucky barely knows.

The Best Way to Wake

Word Count: 42.2k Rating: Explicit Notable Tags: Canon Divergence, Slow Burn Warnings: Smut Synopsis: James Buchanan Barnes lay in a glass pod in the middle of the table, frozen since he fell. Steve’s hands were on the glass before he realized he’d moved. “Wait, Captain!” “Get him out,” Steve whispered, his hands searching for a clasp, a keypad, something. “Captain, we need to keep him in stasis—“ “I said get him out!” In which Bucky Barnes lay frozen in the Alps for seventy years only to be woken up a year after Steve Rogers was uncovered from the Arctic.

Latte Art and Slow Dancing in the Dark

Word Count: 89.5k Rating: Explicit Notable Tags: Age Difference, CIA!Steve, Barista!Bucky, Sugar Daddy!Steve Warnings: Smut Synopsis: Bucky is a somewhat well-adjusted former army sniper that got his shoulder blown out. He took his discharge and went home to finish school and is working on his international relations masters. His best friends and roommates (Nat & Clint) are CIA agents and tip him off that their local Sbux is hiring. He gets a job there and meets none other than the hottest guy on earth. So how does one get a date in the most top secret government location in the US? What happens when that guy is more than just a hot dorito and wants to give Bucky everything he wants? Bucky is going to have to figure out his shit and fast. That's what's up.

Laughter Lines

Word Count: 100.2k Rating: Mature Notable Tags: Bodyguard!AU, Slow Burn Warnings: None Synopsis: Bucky Barnes is a rising Hollywood star with a tragic past and a reputation for driving his bodyguards away. Steve Rogers is a veteran with the same tragic past and the need to get back out in the world. The two of them have been estranged since they were teenagers, so when Steve joins SHIELD as a bodyguard, he is less than thrilled when he finds out that Bucky is his first assignment. But how bad can it be? They're both professional adults, right?Wrong.

From Hydra with Love

Word Count: 21.2k Rating: Mature Notable Tags: Spies!Steve and Bucky Warnings: Smut Synopsis: Captain Steve Rogers is one of the best spies in the world - a marksman, a martial artist, an expert in strategy and tactics. There's not a lot he can't handle. Heck, he's even saved the world once or twice. So why does every run in with the mysterious Winter Soldier leave him feeling like the Bond Girl?

Goddamn Electric

Word Count: 67.8k Rating: Explicit Notable Tags: Bodyguard!Steve, Musician!Bucky Warnings: Drug Use, Alcohol Use, Smut Synopsis: Steve Rogers works for a discreet private security company and gets assigned to James Barnes, a musician who takes the idea of 'sex, drugs & rock 'n roll' just a little too seriously.

There Was Something About Steve Rogers

Word Count: 46.7k Rating: Explicit Notable Tags: Post CATWS Warnings: Smut, Panic Attacks Synopsis: The Winter Soldier knows Steve Rogers has deep feelings for Bucky Barnes, and decides that he can use that to his advantage to gain protection from the Hydra agents still trying to find him. What he didn't bargain for was actually starting to care about the man they call Captain America, or the strength of Bucky Barnes' memories as they begin to resurface.

Through the Mist

Word Count: 14.5k Rating: Teen and Up Notable Tags: Soulmate!AU, Post CATWS Warnings: None Synopsis: He usually kept it covered. Whether it be with long sleeves, a cuff of some sort, or make up Natasha skillfully showed him how to apply. He didn’t cover it up because he was ashamed or because he was one of those people who didn’t like others knowing who his soulmate was- no. He covered it up out of respect. Respect for his fallen partner, and respect for himself because he knew looking at those swoopy lines of James B. Barnes on his wrist always made him crumble like his legs were kicked down. When he crashed into the ice all those years ago he thought he was going to see Bucky again- he thought he was finally going to be with Bucky without people giving them ugly looks and throwing slurs their way. He thought he was going to be happy again.

Take Me Home

Word Count: 78.1k Rating: Mature Notable Tags: Shrunkyclunks, Veteran!Bucky Warnings: Smut, Torture, Referenced Suicide Synopsis: “I’m so sorry, I’m gonna help you I promise, just don’t move, fuck, I ran over Captain America–” the man apologized, over and over, and all Steve managed to say was, “You’re really attractive,” before passing out on the guy’s lap in the middle of the road.

Where the Circle Ends

Word Count: 29.8k Rating: Mature Notable Tags: Zombie Apocalypse!AU Warnings: Smut, Gore Synopsis: In which the world has gone to hell in a zombie apocalypse handbasket and, in the middle of it all, Steve finds the one person he never thought he'd see again. Angst and feelings (amongst other things) ensue.

Our Souls (They Were Made to Last)

Word Count: 53.8k Rating: Mature Notable Tags: No Powers, Veteran!Steve, Doctor!Bucky, Ghost!Bucky Warnings: None Synopsis: Dr. James Barnes is too busy saving lives to actually have one of his own. When he finally agrees to go on a blind date, he gets into an accident that will change his life forever. Retired Army Captain Steve Rogers is depressed, and when he moves into his new apartment he finds it already occupied....with the ghost of its last tenant. To make matters worse, the ghost is adamant that he's not dead. As they navigate their way through their new living arrangements, can they save each other, before it’s too late? Or have they missed their one shot at a happy ending?

By Any Other Name

Word Count: 36.9k Rating: Explicit Notable Tags: Assassins and Hitmen!AU, Spies and Agents!AU Warning: Smut Synopsis: Steve was a good spy. It turned out one good spy didn't stand a chance against a rival security firm, a contract killer, and his own heart.

#stucky #stucky fic rec #stucky fic #stevebucky #stevebucky fic #starbucks #wintershield #steve rogers #james barnes #bucky barnes #the winter soldier #captain america #marvel

32 notes · View notes

route22ny · 4 years

Photo

*Gaslighting, if you don’t know the word, is defined as manipulation into doubting your own sanity; as in, Carl made Mary think she was crazy, even though she clearly caught him cheating. He gaslit her.

Pretty soon, as the country begins to figure out how we “open back up” and move forward, very powerful forces will try to convince us all to get back to normal. (That never happened. What are you talking about?) Billions of dollars will be spent on advertising, messaging, and television and media content to make you feel comfortable again. It will come in the traditional forms — a billboard here, a hundred commercials there — and in new-media forms: a 2020–2021 generation of memes to remind you that what you want again is normalcy. In truth, you want the feeling of normalcy, and we all want it. We want desperately to feel good again, to get back to the routines of life, to not lie in bed at night wondering how we’re going to afford our rent and bills, to not wake to an endless scroll of human tragedy on our phones, to have a cup of perfectly brewed coffee, and simply leave the house for work. The need for comfort will be real, and it will be strong. And every brand in America will come to your rescue, dear consumer, to help take away that darkness and get life back to the way it was before the crisis. I urge you to be well aware of what is coming.

For the last hundred years, the multibillion-dollar advertising business has operated based on this cardinal principle: Find the consumer’s problem and fix it with your product. When the problem is practical and tactical, the solution is “as seen on TV” and available at Home Depot. Command strips will save me from having to repaint. So will Mr. Clean’s Magic Eraser. Elfa shelving will get rid of the mess in my closet. The Ring doorbell will let me see who’s on the porch if I can’t take my eyes off Netflix. But when the problem is emotional, the fix becomes a new staple in your life, and you become a lifelong loyalist. Coca-Cola makes you: happy. A Mercedes makes you: successful. Taking your kids to Disneyland makes you: proud. Smart marketers know how to highlight what brands can do for you to make your life easier. But brilliant marketers know how to rewire your heart. And, make no mistake, the heart is what has been most traumatized this last month. We are, as a society, now vulnerable in a whole new way.

What the trauma has shown us, though, cannot be unseen. A carless Los Angeles has clear blue skies as pollution has simply stopped. In a quiet New York, you can hear the birds chirp in the middle of Madison Avenue. Coyotes have been spotted on the Golden Gate Bridge. These are the postcard images of what the world might be like if we could find a way to have a less deadly daily effect on the planet. What’s not fit for a postcard are the other scenes we have witnessed: a health care system that cannot provide basic protective equipment for its frontline; small businesses — and very large ones — that do not have enough cash to pay their rent or workers, sending over 16 million people to seek unemployment benefits; a government that has so severely damaged the credibility of our media that 300 million people don’t know who to listen to for basic facts that can save their lives.

The cat is out of the bag. We, as a nation, have deeply disturbing problems. You’re right. That’s not news. They are problems we ignore every day, not because we’re terrible people or because we don’t care about fixing them, but because we don’t have time. Sorry, we have other shit to do. The plain truth is that no matter our ethnicity, religion, gender, political party (the list goes on), nor even our socioeconomic status, as Americans we share this: We are busy. We’re out and about hustling to make our own lives work. We have goals to meet and meetings to attend and mortgages to pay — all while the phone is ringing and the laptop is pinging. And when we get home, Crate and Barrel and Louis Vuitton and Andy Cohen make us feel just good enough to get up the next day and do it all over again. It is very easy to close your eyes to a problem when you barely have enough time to close them to sleep. The greatest misconception among us, which causes deep and painful social and political tension every day in this country, is that we somehow don’t care about each other. White people don’t care about the problems of black America. Men don’t care about women’s rights. Cops don’t care about the communities they serve. Humans don’t care about the environment. These couldn’t be further from the truth. We do care. We just don’t have the time to do anything about it. Maybe that’s just me. But maybe it’s you, too.

Well, the treadmill you’ve been on for decades just stopped. Bam! And that feeling you have right now is the same as if you’d been thrown off your Peloton bike and onto the ground: What in the holy fuck just happened? I hope you might consider this: What happened is inexplicably incredible. It’s the greatest gift ever unwrapped. Not the deaths, not the virus, but The Great Pause. It is, in a word, profound. Please don’t recoil from the bright light beaming through the window. I know it hurts your eyes. It hurts mine, too. But the curtain is wide open. What the crisis has given us is a once-in-a-lifetime chance to see ourselves and our country in the plainest of views. At no other time, ever in our lives, have we gotten the opportunity to see what would happen if the world simply stopped. Here it is. We’re in it. Stores are closed. Restaurants are empty. Streets and six-lane highways are barren. Even the planet itself is rattling less (true story). And because it is rarer than rare, it has brought to light all of the beautiful and painful truths of how we live. And that feels weird. Really weird. Because it has… never… happened… before. If we want to create a better country and a better world for our kids, and if we want to make sure we are even sustainable as a nation and as a democracy, we have to pay attention to how we feel right now. I cannot speak for you, but I imagine you feel like I do: devastated, depressed, and heartbroken.

And what a perfect time for Best Buy and J. Crew and Gwyneth Paltrow to help me feel normal again. If I could just have the new iPhone in my hand, if I could rest my feet on a pillow of new Nikes, if I could drink a venti blonde vanilla latte with two pumps of syrup, then this very dark feeling would go away. You think I’m kidding, that I’m being cute, that I’m denying the very obvious benefits of having a roaring economy. You’re right. Our way of life is not ruinous. The economy is not, at its core, evil. Brands and their products create millions of jobs. Like people — and most anything in life — there are brands that are responsible and ethical, and there are others that are not. They are all part of a system that keeps us living long and strong. We have lifted more humans out of poverty through the power of economics than any other civilization in history. Yes, without a doubt, Americanism is a force for good. It is not some villainous plot to wreak havoc and destroy the planet and all our souls along with it. I get it, and I agree. But its flaws have been laid bare for all to see. It doesn’t work for everyone. It’s responsible for great destruction. It is so unevenly distributed in its benefit that three men own more wealth than 150 million people. Its intentions have been perverted and the protection it offers has disappeared. In fact, it’s been brought to its knees by one pangolin.

And so the onslaught is coming. Get ready, my friends. What is about to be unleashed on American society will be the greatest campaign ever created to get you to feel normal again. It will come from brands, it will come from government, it will even come from each other, and it will come from the left and from the right. We will do anything, spend anything, believe anything, just so we can take away how horribly uncomfortable all of this feels. And on top of that, just to turn the screw that much more, will be the one effort that’s even greater: the all-out blitz to make you believe you never saw what you saw. The air wasn’t really cleaner; those images were fake. The hospitals weren’t really a war zone; those stories were hyperbole. The numbers were not that high; the press is lying. You didn’t see people in masks standing in the rain risking their lives to vote. Not in America. You didn’t see the leader of the free world push an unproven miracle drug like a late-night infomercial salesman. That was a crisis update. You didn’t see homeless people dead on the street. You didn’t see inequality. You didn’t see indifference. You didn’t see utter failure of leadership and systems.

But you did. You are not crazy, my friends. And so we are about to be gaslit in a truly unprecedented way. It starts with a check for $1,200 (Don’t say I never gave you anything) and then it will be so big that it will be bigly. And it will be a one-two punch from both big business and the big White House — inextricably intertwined now more than ever and being led by, as our luck would have it, a Marketer in Chief. Business and government are about to band together to knock us unconscious again. It will be funded like no other operation in our lifetimes. It will be fast. It will be furious. And it will be overwhelming. The Great American Return to Normal is coming.

From one citizen to another, I beg of you: Take a deep breath, ignore the deafening noise, and think deeply about what you want to put back into your life. This is our chance to define a new version of normal, a rare and truly sacred (yes, sacred) opportunity to get rid of the bullshit and to only bring back what works for us, what makes our lives richer, what makes our kids happier, what makes us truly proud. We get to Marie Kondo the shit out of it all. We care deeply about one another. That is clear. That can be seen in every supportive Facebook post, in every meal dropped off for a neighbor, in every Zoom birthday party. We are a good people. And as a good people, we want to define — on our own terms — what this country looks like in five, 10, 50 years. This is our chance to do that, the biggest one we have ever gotten. And the best one we’ll ever get.

We can do that on a personal scale in our homes, in how we choose to spend our family time on nights and weekends, what we watch, what we listen to, what we eat, and what we choose to spend our dollars on and where. We can do it locally in our communities, in what organizations we support, what truths we tell, and what events we attend. And we can do it nationally in our government, in which leaders we vote in and to whom we give power. If we want cleaner air, we can make it happen. If we want to protect our doctors and nurses from the next virus — and protect all Americans — we can make it happen. If we want our neighbors and friends to earn a dignified income, we can make that happen. If we want millions of kids to be able to eat if suddenly their school is closed, we can make that happen. And, yes, if we just want to live a simpler life, we can make that happen, too. But only if we resist the massive gaslighting that is about to come. It’s on its way. Look out.

https://forge.medium.com/prepare-for-the-ultimate-gaslighting-6a8ce3f0a0e0

#covid19 #return to normalcy #social manipulation #everything is broken #julio vincent gambuto

203 notes · View notes