#maybe i will write the book someday

[asteracaea]

others have talked about this already but i just feel the need to post about it anyway

ever since ttpd came out, i saw people posting about how much they wanted to see her perform i can do it with a broken heart on tour, like add it to the set list, and that absolutely astonished me. i thought, are they listening to the words?? are they listened to what they're saying? because even though i do truly love the song, i think it's brilliant and perfect, it makes me feel guilty because of my participation in treating her like an object for my entertainment last year at eras tour when she professed to be suffering so greatly. the song breaks my heart every time i hear it.

...so to hear people completely miss the point and say they wanted to shout "MORE" at her at that part of the song... made me kind of speechless

but it seems she anticipated this and has turned it into some brilliant performance art (as she has generally in her career imo) and i hope years down the road college courses will be taught and books will be written about all of this once more people can clearly understand what she was saying and doing and how fascinating the public's response to it all was.

[no-man-no-woman]

Okay, I'm going to be very direct and I'm sorry if I come off as mean, but I just have to say it: I hate people who consider NtN a bad book and Nona a bad and/or childish narrator.

First of all: Nona is six months old and dying, it makes sense that she's a "childish" narrator, of course her point of view is strange and slightly useless at some points; she's treated like a child! She thinks a bit like a child!

Nobody says anything to her. I think that's also something to keep in mind: Gideon and Harrow were told things, even if they were half-lies [or just lies] at times, Nona is purposely kept in the dark (even if it's with good intentions for the most part).

And yes, the setting is different, but also (in my opinion) quite more grim than GtN and HtN because it's basically set in a big refugee camp, New Rho is an active war zone (the bombed out buildings where Nona and the gang spend their afternoons, the way the kids at school talk about violence...) but both Nona and her environment are highly desensitized to it. The BoE people are pretty much the dictionary description of guerrilla fighters. Hot Sauce is a radicalised child. Kevin, from the way he is described, seems to have suffered a severe catatonic shock. And Nona doesn't know that.

New Rho is all she's ever known, but the horror, for homely it feels at times, is the basis of it all. Children so used to mass ejecutions that they thalk about them while eating, gas mask that have to be kept on whenever you are outside, a teacher so used to child prostitution that was her first thought upon meting Nona's family, Hot Sauce not thinking twice before shoting her friend's brains out, Honesty being a drug dealer…

Also: I think the underlying body horror of this book is a fucking gift. Phyrra living in her dead best friend corpse, Phyrra drinking bleach because she was bored, Palamedes and Camilla fusing along the way (even before Paul), Nona not remebering how to move correctly at times, Judith sharing a body with a planet's soul, Nona's tantrums destroying her body over and over again, Aim not being allowed to be just herself and having to be the Mensager.

[brother-emperors]

Every time you draw Crassus smiling it makes me want to eat the nearest drywall but like in a really good way

thank you, every time I read about him laughing or making a joke, I also want to eat drywall

here’s another one of him smiling from the vault of really old rough drafts for comics I will draw Someday™️

[solvicrafts]

I honestly don't know what it is about him, but I just have such a soft spot for Vhaeraun.

I am an absolute sucker for a deity that is morally gray at best but is otherwise really attentive towards their worshipers. It's like... the #1 way to my heart lol

[oneleggedflamingo]

I have been having very violent dreams for 9 nights straight, and when I am awake, I have been so calm and chill about everything. The horrors are finally fighting against me in my dreams and so far I have won in every battle royal.

[redheadgleek]

Me picking up a book: oooo, the main character is a neurosurgery resident? This will be great!

Me: wait, why are you calling this a "brain surgery" residency?

Me: wait, why isn't she commiserating with her friend about early mornings? She's going to have to be at the hospital by 5!

Me: she's a second year resident. Internship is only one year.

Me: a fifth year is not a chief resident. Not in neurosurgery.

[may-shepard]

Hey I completed nanowrimo! according to the site, this was my 10th win which I think is a big deal? Giving myself a gold star on this one!

[audhdnight]

Okay friends gather round because I’m here to talk about porn (this will be a long post).

Specifically, why it needs to be safer instead of banned, why it’s not inherently harmful, and how a lot of the harm associated with it is straight up prejudice.

I recently got drawn into an argument about this (i know, I should know better, but I guess this time I didn’t). People love to talk about how the porn industry is harmful because it’s “addictive” which makes it dangerous, or because it makes men do bad things.

I want to say first that this is just feeding into the “all men are inherently bad and violent” shit which I do NOT support because it is not true. A lot of men in patriarchal society are violent, yes, but only because that society tells those men they can have whatever they want, they can take it if we won’t give it to them, and there are no consequences for this behavior. This apathy is conditioned. If you never hold a man accountable for his actions and the ways in which he exploits others, OF COURSE he’s going to hurt people. This issue exist less with women because societally, women are conditioned to give of themselves to the point of burnout, to always place other people’s (most often specifically men’s) wants and needs and preferences over their own. Not because women are biologically less violent or selfish.

Now, there is something to be said about the ways in which certain kinds of pornography portray sexual relationships. In heterosexual male-centered porn, the woman is, more often than not, merely a vessel for his pleasure. She does what he wants, in the positions he wants, because he is the focus. This kind of porn is often characterized by a POV that makes it look as if you’re watching through the male actor’s eyes.

This kind of porn, especially if it is a man or boy’s introduction to sexual relationships/pleasure, can encourage them to see all women this way. If you teach a boy that women are meant to serve his whims because that’s just what women are for, of course he’s going to continue seeking out this kind of media. This is an example of societal prejudice and how it influences everything we do. It does not mean that pornography makes men misogynists.

The second point I want to discuss involves why I say we need reform and laws that keep people safe from exploitation, not a ban on pornography as a whole.

When I told the people I was arguing with that this is what I personally advocate for, they tried to say that I was admitting porn is bad, “because it hurts people.” One man said that I couldn’t possibly dismiss the experiences of real people hurt by the porn industry by saying porn isn’t harmful.

I want to make it exceptionally clear that I am absolutely not dismissing anyone’s experiences. I am well aware that many people are hurt by the modern pornography industry and have been for as long as sex work has existed. But I also want to make it clear that this is not because sex work is bad. It is because people get trafficked, and people often feel like they have no other options because of economic and life circumstances. Some people who entered the industry willingly, who even enjoy their work (crazy concept, I know) end up leaving because they were pressured into certain acts that they weren’t comfortable with. Some people get recorded without their consent. Some people have to leave because of harassment (and yes, sexual harassment IS a thing, even for sex workers). Some people feel like it is a path they will enjoy, but discover it’s not a kind of work they want to do. Some people find it incredibly draining. Some people’s coworkers make for an unpleasant or even unsafe work environment.

There are hundred of reasons someone might leave sex work or be harmed by the people they work with. This doesn’t mean that the work itself is morally wrong. Which is why I say that we need laws in place that protect sex workers from exploitation, and we need people in place to actually enforce those laws (rather than the slew of pedophiles and rapists we have in office right now, or the police officers who let traffickers off the hook for bribery - the financial kind and the human kind).

My third point involves the lack of any scientific backing for the claims that pornography is inherently harmful. While anecdotal evidence absolutely has a place in the discussion, and we should never dismiss someone who was hurt in their time in the industry, this is not scientific. Neither are sermons, unfortunately for most of the people I talk to about this. Usually when I ask for a study backing their claims - just one single peer reviewed study - I am offered this:

The very first thing I want to point out about this paper is that it is not a study. It is essentially a personal interest essay. Just because a work references other works does not make it credible. The man who wrote this paper is a religious fanatic, first of all, and while his Phd does actually appear to be real (oftentimes I get referenced to people with fake doctorates) that does not automatically make any words he writes factual. Several of the footnotes include links that look pretty legit but actually lead nowhere. A couple are just surveys where they asked religious families if their children struggled with mental health consequences from pornography, which is again anecdotal evidence at best, and definitely not a peer reviewed, credible source.

Secondly, if you read this paper you may notice that in a few places Fagan claims part of the mental toll pornography takes on teens is the shame and guilt it creates. Gee, can anyone guess why a sexually repressed teenager in a conservative Christian purity culture home might feel ashamed of indulging in sexual pleasure?? My personal “porn addiction” guilt went away when I realized that I wasn’t hurting anyone by watching it, and my sexual pleasure was not sinful or dirty. What fixed my mental turmoil was letting go of the shame, not letting go of the thing that made me happy.

All of this is to say that the shame and guilt around teens watching porn does not come from the pornography itself, but from the adults around us who tell us we are dirty rotten sinners who are going to burn in hell for wanting to feel good.

Fagan also talks about the consequences of pornography on children, without ever addressing the fact that this is harmful because usually if a child is viewing porn, it is in the context of grooming. I’m not advocating for showing your young child pornography obviously (please don’t do that) but it feels incredibly irresponsible to say that we need to ban porn because “if a child is groomed with it that hurts the child”. In his list of reasons why pornography is harmful to children, Fagan also includes things like it can be upsetting for a child to overhear their parent engaging in “phone sex”. Surely I’m not the only one wondering what that actually has to do with porn…?

Now, I’m not saying that no one is ever engaging with pornography to a point of harm. But this is still an issue of misattributed blame. If someone is watching porn in excess, using it as a coping mechanism of some kind, that is a problem that has very little to do with the porn they’re watching. People fill holes of emotional and physical needs in all sorts of different ways. My cousin ended up on crutches because she went through a rough breakup and dealt with it by running. She overdid it too many times and injured herself, but no one would ever say that means we have to ban running.

My main point is that safe, consensual sex work is not harmful. If consenting adults wish to have sex, play sexual games, record themselves, watch a recording of another consenting adult, or do literally any other kind of sexual activity - that is perfectly okay. We don’t need to shame them or condemn them for wanting to feel pleasure or for working a job in which they bring other people pleasure. This is purity culture bullshit.

And on the subject of teens - it is literally the most natural thing in the word for a teenager to feel curious about their bodies and desires and to want to explore that. Again, I’m not advocating for showing your teenager pornography, but If they find it themselves that’s a wonderful opportunity to have discussions with them about safe sex, boundaries, consent, and all the things. You can even talk to them about it before they seek out the porn. You can teach them about masturbation, and let them know that these desires are not shameful or bad or dirty.

I’m also really tired of certain people insisting that porn is “addictive” because it produces dopamine in the brain. Wanting to feel good is not a crime for fuck’s sake.

[scobbe]

The biggest gift I received from IFS therapy was getting a real handle on what actually was happening around me while I was busy disassociating and disconnecting from the terrible real life around me. (There are parts of us, buried though they may be, who do remember.) And having a coherent narrative of “oh, between the ages of 14 and 24 I lost everything that had ever given me a sense of safety and identity,” removed a massive amount of anxiety and shame I was putting on myself, believing I was lazy or defective or unable to handle life. We are very, very good at writing stories to protect ourselves from pain, but those stories can’t hold the kind of real truth that actually defines who we are. When we know we’ve been kicked to the ground we can get up again (even asking for help to do so!) but when you’re tangled up in thinking you’ve just got to improve yourself or try a new job or relationship or spiritual practice or whatever, it only leads to exhaustion on a treadmill going nowhere. And the worst part is our society takes advantage of this and will try to sell you fixes you don’t need.

But if you have Been Through It you know you have a right to hobble a little, to be a veteran of a war, to give yourself some slack and appreciate your achievements, whenever you’re able to achieve them. There’s nothing to be “fixed”, only wounds that need healing and injuries that need accommodating, and that’s okay.

[pentimint]

The Snoutline for fnc to be clear. everything else i write is purely off the dome

[silverislander]

looking at tattoo places in my town like its ever gonna happen and. :/

[jonny-b-meowborn]

Not to be a fucked up little freak but recently I started writing a short story in second person in future tense and it's about a lighthouse and her keeper

[phatburd]

🥫

[lilyharvord]

Update

Looking at the final copy of my book at 2 am today August 3, 2022, literally just looking at it and seeing seven years of work, three unfinished trashed drafts, one finished draft that was trashed, a second draft that I picked to pieces, and a third and final one that I shared with very close friends to help me edit. And now this final copy.

It feels unreal. I’m not going to lie, I am crying over her. For the longest time I never thought I would finish this daunting task. Aria’s story always seemed so impossible to tell, but here it is, in my hands. Her story has begun, and the first part of it is closed and ready. It is literally surreal. My query letter is all typed up, and ready to be emailed/mailed out with the final draft. My pitch is ready, and I have begun drawing maps. God, I have chills, I never thought, I really never thought I would see this day. There is still so far to go, but this morning, I get to stand on top of the first mountain and see the sunrise and it has never looked fucking brighter :)))))))))

[moodymisty]

do you happen to enjoy zelda content? if so, who’s your favorite character?

I love the Zelda games, Ocarina of Time and and BotW are my favorites. I know that's the cop out answer but hey, they're rad.

As for my favorite characters? Besides Link and Zelda, I was a massive fan of Revali when BotW came out. Like I was spamming the screenshot button whenever he was in a cutscene. I love Sidon of course, but I just enjoy pompous characters lol.

I also like Midna. Because who doesn't.

[macveigh]

fuck it i hate bios y'all are getting stats pages on my new blog