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angel-eyes05 · 10 months

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bite the hand (chapter 8)

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

pairing: spider-woman!oc x miguel o’hara

summary: lorena's whole world was taken away from her in the blink of an eye, after she accidentally broke a canon event. lucky for her though, she was able to find a portal watch in her dimension and used it to get out before she glitched out of existence. unfortunately though, running from dimension to dimension, she's been named as an anomaly by the spider society. now, she's constantly on the run from them, their leader in particular. when she eventually gets caught though, she's recruited onto a mission to catch another anomaly who might be from her past. to her dismay though, her partner on this mission is her very captor. will she be able to stop arguing with him for long enough to get the job done?

info: enemies to lovers, maybe a slow burn depending on chapter count, oc is 24 and miguel is 27, both oc and miguel are super sad lmao, they're also both super violent so, they also hate each other what a slay, in regards to my oc you can read her character sheet right here

warnings: there might be spoilers for atsv in this so watch the movie before reading this, i made up some weird rules for miguel's suit and idk if theyre entirely accurate to canon so just go with it, tension lol, cursing, drinking

word count: 3.4k

notes: i gotta start repeating the banners at the top cause i ran out LMAO. also, expect less frequent uploads cause 1) i kinda have low motivation rn and 2) im pretty busy rn (going out, vacations, and doing job applications). writing also gets a little draining for me after a while and i gotta put me first😔✊ ill keep uploading though dw i just gotta do it at my own speed to make sure i dont drop the series cause if i try to push stuff out too fast, im gonna end up dropping it so just bear with me lol. also i didn't proofread this before posting cause its 3:30 when im dropping this, and im so tired lmao

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It was the sun that slithered into the room through the cracks in the blinds that woke her up. Lorena preferred that to the normal wakeup call from a nightmare, or the sounds of honking cars next to her on the street. The way the bed had molded itself to her shape made it impossible for her to move. Almost like it was trapping her in its comfort. Even if the mattress was old, the fact that this had been her first time sleeping in an actual bed, and not a bench, sidewalk, or cot, in months was enough to provide her ease.

She turned to face the other side of the bed, surprised when no one was in sight. Miguel was probably in the bathroom or something. She was more focused on a different fact: this had been the first sleep in weeks without a nightmare.

Huh. Weird.

She sat up in bed, noticing she was still in her robe from the bathroom. She rubbed the drowsiness off her face as the click of the door lock called her attention. Letting in a stream of early sunlight with him, Miguel walked through the door, pitch black sunglasses covering his eyes, a box in one hand, and a cup tray in the other. “Figured you’d be hungry when you woke up,” he said once he noticed she was awake. He softly kicked the door closed behind him, setting the tray on the desk near the door and the box on the bed.

Pulled by curiosity, she moved her hands towards the box and opened it to see what was inside. Her mouth immediately started watering when she opened it to see assorted treats such as conchas, bigotes, and mantecadas. “I was in the mood,” Miguel said, pulling the drinks out of the tray. “I didn’t know how much cream or sugar you liked so I just got you black cause that's what I get,” he said, handing the hot cup of coffee to her.

The smell of the pastries mixed with the coffee was enough to make her want to cry. It reminded of the smells of her aunt’s kitchen in the morning. The bitterness of the coffee stung at her throat, but it was overshadowed by the comfort it brought her. She picked up one of the bigotes, and had to hold back her tears of joy when she took a bite. “Gracias por todo,” she said, mouth full of food and covered in sugar. Miguel smiled at the sight of her. “De nada, cariño,” he said sweetly, taking one of the conchas for himself.

As he walked away with his food, towards the bathroom, Lorena noticed something about him. “Where’d you get the clothes?” she asked, mouth still filled with food. He was now wearing a pair of gray sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt. “It’s part of my suit,” he responded, fixing his hair in the bathroom mirror. “¿Cómo?” He sighed. “Remember what I said about the whole nanotech thing last night?” “Yeah, what about it?” Suddenly, the shirt and sweatpants shifted into his blue and red suit just before her eyes. “Woah…” she exclaimed in awe. “I can change its appearance as long as the outfit is downloaded to my suit’s database.” “Oh,” Lorena expressed, even if she still didn’t fully understand what he was talking about.

“Why’d you get to be born in the crazy, futuristic dimension with all the fancy tech,” she complained to herself, just loud enough for Miguel to hear. “Why, do you want one?” he asked, in between a small chuckle. “I mean it would be nice to wear something other than a tight spandex suit for once,” Lorena joked, getting an actual laugh out of Miguel for once. Lorena blushed and smiled at his reaction. “Well lucky for you, you’re gonna need one for tonight,” he responded. “What do you mean?” she asked, after taking a sip from her coffee.

He tossed her a small, golden chain. “The outfit should form around that chain. I had Lyla upload different outfits for the day, since she probably knows better than I do. When you’re ready, put it on.” Lorena admired the golden material. She was lucky she wasn’t a silver jewelry girl. “So what’s on the to-do list for today,” she said, still looking at the chain. “Stay undercover for the majority of the day, then head over to the Moonlit River club at night. Lyla should have that outfit uploaded by now,” he responded, brushing his teeth with the provided amenities in the motel.

“Why, are you finally deciding to take me out dancing to pay me for my troubles,” she joked, taking a sip of coffee after. Miguel spit out his toothpaste and sighed. “Brock meets up there on Thursday nights to trade weapons.”

Silence filled the space between them.

She knew this day had to come. She just wasn’t expecting it to be so soon.

“I see,” was all she could manage to say, before taking another sip of her coffee.

Miguel could feel the turmoil radiating off of her from the bathroom. He washed out his mouth, and splashed a bit of water on his face before walking over to her. He pushed the box of pastries to the side, and took a seat in front of her on the sheets.

“Mirarme,” he softly spoke, using his pointer finger to guide her eyes to his. She looked up at him, trying her best not to get lost in the crimson shade of his eyes. “I-” He cut himself off before he could continue. He melded her hand into his before speaking again. “I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. I want you to know that if this becomes too much for you…you can back out.” His inflection was weird. As if he didn’t want her to, but still wanted to keep her comfortable. A wrestling match between what he wanted and what was best for her.

“And I’ve said it before too. I’m not running away from this,” Lorena said back, voice strong. “Ok. Just know if things get bad for you in there, I’ve got your back,” he said, concern in his voice. He had also found his eyes roaming her face, not realizing they had both subconsciously moved closer to each other. “And I’ve got yours too,” she said back. Once he had realized Lorena’s robe was loose enough to see inside to her chest, Miguel cleared his throat and got up from the bed quickly.

“I’m gonna go into town, see if I can pick up any information on the street. You can do whatever you want until its time, but make sure to-” “Yeah, yeah, lay low. Relax big guy, I’ve got this,” she cut him off, reassuringly. He exited the room quickly, like he was in a rush to get away from her. He was gone for almost the rest of the day.

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About 8pm that night.

Miguel was outside in the main room of the motel while Lorena was getting herself ready in the bathroom. Miguel had gone out earlier and bought her some cheap makeup and perfume from a local drugstore, a sweet gesture.

Once she finished with her makeup and straightening up her hair, she tapped on the middle part of her gold chain, causing a menu to pop up. She scrolled through the options until she came across the last one, labeled by Lyla as “night time😉”. She clicked on the option, as she watched in awe as her casual t-shirt and sweatpants shifted into her outfit for the night. A tight black dress, cut asymmetrically to show one of her thighs, and a turtle neck part detached from the rest of the dress, with glove-like sleeves. This feature allowed for the perfect peephole towards her chest. Lorena had a feeling Lyla would try to do some matchmaking with her outfit.

With a quick spritz of perfume, a double check of her face in the mirror, and quickly putting on a black headband for her hair, Lorena quickly exited the bathroom. Miguel was standing there, waiting by the door and checking his portal watch. He was sporting a black, silk, button up shirt, tucked into black dress pants. The fact that the shirt was way too tight for him was accentuated by his muscles sculpted by the fabric and the fact that the first two buttons were open. His eye was caught by Lorena when she stepped out of the bathroom, his mouth slightly agape in awe and his eyes almost stuck to her.

“It’s flashy, I know. But it’s better that I fit in,” she said, trying to divide the tension in the room as she walked closer to him. “I-...um,” he stammered. “At a loss for words for once O’Hara?” she teased. Noticing a stray hair on the top of his head, she reached up to him to push it back. “Quédate quieto,” she commanded softly, while she stuck the piece back into the gel, trying to ignore how he was admiring her.

“There you go. Ahora te ves guapo,” she teased, patting his chest with her hand. Miguel still had that stupid smile on his face. “Y te ves hermosa,” he said softly, and with utter sincerity.

She couldn’t tell if she was caught more off guard with his words of affirmation, or the fact that the blush quickly forming on her cheeks was confirming her secret love of it.

Clearing her throat, she unlocked the door, opened it, and gestured her hand to outside. “Lead the way big guy.” He smirked at her as he walked outside. He even got the courage to offer her his hand. This confidence was quickly deflated when she smacked away his hand, giggling to herself as she took the lead down the stairs.

The night life of the city was bustling on the streets. Couples together, arm in arm, surely walking to a fancy restaurant for a night out. Lines forming outside of nightclubs, patrons with an urgency to get in. Everyone walking down the street with their own story to tell, just like Lorena.

After walking for a couple of miles, the bright, neon blue sign shone in front of the entrance. The door was a mahogany red, with three stairs leading down to the entrance. But opposite to Miguel’s eagerness to get inside by opening the door, Lorena slightly froze, eyes blank.

This was it. It was going to happen. Whether she was ready or not.

“Hey.” Miguel’s calm voice pulled her back to reality. “Stay with me. Okay?” He held out his large hand for her. This time, she decided to take it. “And remember to try and fit in,” he added. Her smile quickly turned sour and annoyed.

The atmosphere was loud, a mixture of people talking and the bass of the music filling the room. The fact that the lights were out didn’t seem to matter much with the amount of strobe and neon lights flashing within the bar. Lorena noticed Miguel quickly putting on a pair of sunglasses hidden in his jacket pocket. “I thought you said we needed to fit in,” Lorena stated as the two walked towards a high top near the bar. “I did. And?” “You really think you’re blending in with a pair of sunglasses on indoors? At night? In a club?” Lorena joked. “The lights hurt my eyes,” Miguel said, puppy dog hurt. Lorena had to fight to contain the laughter rising in her chest.

Once they sat down, and the reality of events settled down on Lorena, she began to look around the club. People sprayed out on couches, drunkenly conversing or making out. People out on the dance floor. Men walking into booths in the back, shielded by curtains. Eddie was probably in one of those. “I’m heading to the bar. You want anything?” Miguel asked, snapping her out of her daze. “Uhhhh, just get me something strong,” she brushed off, still not entirely paying attention. He shrugged and walked off to the bar.

Lorena continued to inspect the area, her thoughts bouncing all over the place. What did this Eddie look like? Did he have black hair instead? Was his voice higher? Her Eddie always had a particularly deep tone. Smooth like silk as well. She would spend days on end focusing on the way he would say a single sentence back when she was first crushing on him. Would he act like her Eddie? She realized quickly she probably wouldn’t get the opportunity to find out. She didn’t necessarily want to find out anyways.

…

Would she have to kill him again? Would Miguel make her?

The smack of the glass on the table brought her back to reality. “You weren’t really specific, so I just got you a negroni,” Miguel said, open bottle of beer in his hand. Without a second thought, Lorena downed half the glass just then, proven to be a mistake with how strong the drink actually was. Her mouth curled inwards as her eyes shut closed, letting out a few coughs quickly after.

Miguel laughed slightly, and slammed his hand against her back to help her cough. “What the fuck was that?” “Hey, you told me to get you something strong!” Miguel defended. “I thought you were gonna get me a margarita or something,” Lorena said, rubbing her chest with her hand. “Haven’t had alcohol in more than a year and you hit me with that straight away,” she said to herself. Subconsciously, he handed her his bottle. “Take a sip of that then.” She smiled to herself as she put her lips to the bottle and took a good sip of the beer. “Better?” he asked, like she was a child. “Yes, thank you for your charity sir, you’re so kind,” she responded sarcastically.

“Find anything interesting yet?” Miguel asked, taking back the bottle. Lorena’s eyes went back to the curtains. “Those booths back there look promising. Are we sure he’s here yet though?” Lorena asked. “I have a hunch.” Lorena looked up at Miguel, annoyance on her face. “We’re going…off of a hunch?” “Just trust me on this okay.” Lorena sighed and took another sip of her own drink, wincing again when she put it back down.

Her eyes were drawn away from the drapes and over to the lit up dance floor. She had always been the first one to bring her friends to dance with her when she was younger. Seeing it again brought feelings flooding back to her heart. Spontaneously, she jumped up from her chair and held out her hand to Miguel. “...What are you doing?” he asked, incredibly confused.

“You said we had to blend in, right? We’ll do that better if we’re out there dancing,” she said. “Oh, no way. I don’t dance, chiquita,” he said, almost embarrassed. “Oh come on, for someone with your build? You’ve definitely danced before. Don’t be a debby downer Miggy,” she encouraged, both of them caught slightly off guard by the nickname slip. He rolled his head back, wiped his hands over his face, and let out a deep, annoyed groan. Once he stood up though and took her hand, it was impossible for Lorena to lose the smile growing on her face. “You’re taking the lead though, Loré,” he said, having come up with a nickname for her as well. She hoped the sunglasses he had on would keep him from seeing the blush on her face.

…

They didn’t.

Hand in hand, Lorena led Miguel over to the brightly lit floor, music blasting in the speakers next to them. Miguel stook out like a sore thumb, his huge build making him extremely identifiable among the other strangers on the floor. Lorena fit right in though, immediately beginning to dance to the blasting music. Miguel tried his best to copy her moves, but ended up looking like a fool. “You were right, you really aren’t that good at this,” Lorena teased. “Ha ha, very funny,” Miguel said monotonically. As the music changed slowly to a slower pace, they noticed the people around them grouping to dance into a pairs. She looked up to Miguel. He raised his eyebrow at her, asking her without words. Her smile was confirmation, as they inched towards each other.

Almost as if they were pre-programmed to do so, Lorena wrapped her arms around Miguel’s neck, and his wrapped around her hips. They swayed together slowly to the music, melting into each others touch. He rested his head on her shoulder, his hot breath leaving goosebumps on her skin.

“This isn’t my wheelhouse,” he quietly whispered into her ear, sending shivers down her spine. “Why, better when other music is playing?” she whispered back sarcastically. “Everyone here’s lucky they aren’t playing salsa right now, or I’d be stealing the show.” Lorena let out a laugh. “Is that so?” He nodded, a huge smirk on his face. “I’m more of mambo person myself,” she responded. He smiled at her remark. “You’ll have to teach me some day.”

She struggled to keep the smile on her face as those words entered her head. You’ll have to teach me some day. She hadn’t even begun to think about it. What she would do after this mission was over. The whole point of doing this was so she could be granted her freedom. She wanted it so badly a couple of days ago. But now. She hadn’t even thought of staying as a possibility. Because to her, it wasn’t. She couldn’t invade Miguel’s life like that. She wasn’t even 100% sure how she felt about him, much less on how he felt about her. Besides, no matter how much she just wanted to settle down with someone. To live an actual life. She didn’t deserve it.

Pulling away from him was like separating herself from her source of life, but she did it anyways. “You okay?” Miguel asked concerned. “Yeah, I just gotta freshen up for a second,” she said, wiping her nose. She turned around quickly to get away. Too quickly though, bumping into someone’s back on her way to the bathroom.

Knocked off her balance, and her headband knocked out of her hair, she fell to the floor on her ass. “Sorry about that,” she said, slightly dissociated, reaching out for her headband. The stranger also reached down to help with her headband. “It’s okay, don’t worry about it gorgeous.”

Her heart dropped to her stomach.

That voice.

“Don’t lose your heart.”

She desperately wanted to keep her eyes glued to the floor. She didn’t want to look at him. But she had to keep her cover up. So she did, as slowly as she could though. And it was the worst possibly outcome.

He looked just like him. Strawberry blonde hair. Deep blue eyes. Small scar just above right eyebrow. His bottom two teeth fighting for room on the bottom row of his mouth. There was only one difference though. One of her favorite parts about him. This Eddie was missing his freckles. His beautiful light brown freckles.

She gave the stranger with her dead boyfriend’s face a strained smile while she grabbed her headband and rushed behind to the door. Her own brain pounding in her head was too loud for her to hear Miguel as she nearly ran passed him. She slammed the door to the outside open as she took in the air like it was her first breath ever. Even if she was outside now, she kept running. She sprinted down the streets, not taking any of her surroundings into account. She saw him in everyone’s face. His ghost had always been haunting her, but she wasn’t ready for him to move from behind her back to in front of her face. She ran so far and so fast until her legs ached, and even after that. She didn’t even know where she was going. She didn’t care. She just needed to get away from him as quickly as possible. Even if that meant leaving Miguel behind too.

Her sprint was interrupted when her foot was caught in a change in the elevation on the sidewalk. Her face slammed into the concrete sidewalk, scraping her cheek and her knees. She used the rest of her strength, all drained out from her bolting, to crawl into a nearby alley. She made her way to the back and slunk down into the corner, hoping to meld into the brick behind her. Especially if it meant she never had to see him again.

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a/n: THIS TOOK ME SO LONG OH MY GOD. sorry if i messed some stuff up with the drinks, i dont drink so i really have no idea (im just a stoner instead lmao). UGH BUT I THINK THIS WAS MY FAVORITE CHAPTER TO WRITE I LOVED IT AND I HOPE YOU GUYS DID TOO

taglist: @the-ikran-man @jenniferdixon05207 @yuuuumii @elwyn7 @waniesss @lust-for-pan @natthernandez @pix-stuff @ang3lf4c3 @artfulthoughtswp @notwildlyfamous

#miguel o'hara x oc #bite the hand #spidersona #across the spiderverse #spiderman 2099 #miguel o’hara #into the spider verse #fanfic #spiderman across the spiderverse #fanfiction #spiderverse #oc x miguel o'hara #spiderman oc #spiderverse oc #spiderman

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kichikichiko · 1 year

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"Lonely"

Self indulgent post. Its kinda based off of how I grew up

Wanderer x fem!reader, comfort, fluff, can be read as platonic or romantic, not proofread

♡♡♡♡

"Lonely"

If you were to describe your life from the day you could walk and talk to now, the one word would be "lonely"

Dont get me wrong, you had friends growing up. Maybe a lot, maybe only a few, and even then, it still feels like you againts the world.

No matter who you hang out with, the connection between you and your friend was never strong.

You knew, but brushed it off. Because at least having someone to talk to about something, anything is better than being alone.

But you were still "lonely", no matter how many people you surround yourself with.

You get attached easily, to anyone no matter who.

Toxic, boring, stupid, it doesnt matter

As long as they give you just a bit of attention, you'll suddenly cling onto them like theyre youre everything.

And yet

You were still "lonely"

Its frustrating. Why does the world want you to be lonely? Why should you feel this way in the first place? What could you have possibly done to anger the gods? Or was this their way of entertainment?

You'd blame all the hurt you've been through to anyone who isnt you. Especially celestia itself. Because if you blamed it on yourself, the more you'd feel worse.

"Lonely" was once your enemy, your foe. But the more you grew older, the more you've become tired with trying to get rid of it whether it be through masking yourself with different made up personalities for every single person you talk to, trying to talk to different people to find the one who matchrs your energy, or blaming the gods of teyvat and all its mortals for making you feel the way you feel, the more you've surrendered and accepted the "lonely" into your life.

Youve given up.

Because what was the point of trying at this point?

You can no longer blame people for your misery and woes.

At the end of the day, you are the problem.

Detaching yourself from the world, half of your life became a blur. You didnt remember if you still took up on the act of imitating everyone elses personalites, or if you completely stopped talking to people in general.

You didnt remember,

But what you did remember was meeting him.

Buying fruits from the bustling stalls of Sumeru, you finally met him.

From the corner of your eye, you saw an interesting figure.

Turning your head to get a better look you studied thr man from afar.

He seemed to be from inazuma judging by his attire. His whole outfit was coloured blue and white, his huge hat sitting on his head in a way which made him look intimidating and mysterious rather than silly, his eyes uninterested and annoyed, as his chesr glowed because of his anemo vision.

You stared at him for a while longer before he dissappeared in a blink of an eye.

You didnt know what you felt. But it was something weird, in a good way of course.

"I wanna see him again" you mumbled.

Months have passed, and from time to time, the strange man from inazuma would pop into your head as you daydream in silence when you were goung out with your friends.

Sometimes you think youre creepy, stupid and yhat you were "doing it again". Mainly insinuating that you'd get attached to someone you barely know and make scenarios of you both being together as a coping mechanism.

One day your friend has decided to invite you to try a cooking class with her. You dont really get invited out that much, so you werent about to pass up on this opportunity.

Both you and your friend arrived and was lead to your perspective stations. The instructor wanted everyone to find someone random around the room to be partners, so everyone can get to know each other and make the place more lively.

Going out of your comfort zone was hard, but thinking youre being a nuisance was harder. So you sighed in defeat.

Everyone finally got a partner but you,

You were standing there awkwardly, getting ready to tell the instructor that you're perfectly fine with being alone. Youve been alone for half of your life, being alone as you were in cooking class with no different.

Before you got the chance to talk, someone barged through the door, making everyone shift their focus on the door.

Your eyes widen when you saw who it was. It was the mysterious Inazuma guy. You were shocked, stunned and frozen in place.

Never once believe that you'd see him again

"Ah youre just in time! This young lady here doesnt have a partner for todays class so you can go right ahead and stand next to her station"

The mysterious men scoffed and walk towards your station standing right beside you without a word.

You were starting to feel nervous as there was no conversation coming up between the both of you. You thought that maybe you were the only one overthinking this because anytime you glance at him he would look unbothered and uninterested just like he did when you first saw him in that market few months back

"You can stop looking at me miss" crossing his arms and looking at you with one eyebrow up.

God he was intimidating and handsome

No no. Just intimidating you correxted yourself

Flinching you quickly apologised and whipped your head back and looked down at the table.

Wanderer knew you saw him on that day in the market, he's very observant what can he say?

"Call me wanderer" he broke the silence, looking down at the ingredients on the table, not listening to the instructor

You looked at him again, blinking

You wanted to question why on earth his name is "wanderer" but got a hunch that he'll be offended and stop talking.

"Nice to meet you wanderer, Im (name)" you responded

"Well (name) let's show everyone here who's the boss at cooking" he smirked a bit, determined to win

You were stunned. This wasnt even a cooking competition you wanted to tell him, but that might ruin the fun

So you smiled a little and nodded. "Right on it!"

Days after days passed, and if youre lucky enough you'd see him on the bustling streets of Sumeru, if you both make eye contact, you'd smile and wave as he nodded then go about your day

Soon that change, from simple hand waves, to small talks, to full blow on conversations to hanging out outside of sumeru city.

His company was nice, it felt warm and comfortable. You didnt have to imitate his energy, and you never tried to. Something about copying his personality just to talk to him felt off.

As much as he didnt wanna admit it, he also felt comfortable with you, not 100% no but if he were to be able to choose to go on walks alone or be with you he wouldnt hesitate to pick one with you.

You finally felt comfortable in your own skin

And suddenly, you didnt feel so "lonely" anymore.

♡♡♡♡

#genshin fanfic #fanfic #genshin fluff #genshin impact #x reader #genshin x reader #kunikuzushi x reader #wanderer x y/n #wanderer x reader #scaramouche x you #wanderer x you #scaramouche x y/n

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mcytblr-archive · 2 months

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Early MCYTblr Interviews: nibbleinephym

our interviewee is @nibblelinephym (known in 2020/2021 as severely-nearsighted). here is a copy/pasted transcript of the questions and answers!

(if these posts are too long, please let me know, and i'll incorporate a cutoff in the future!)

Q: What do you remember most fondly about ‘Early MCYTblr’? (2020-2021)

A: i think im most fond of how tight-knit the community felt in the 'early days' honestly? dont get me wrong seeing it grow and new creators bring even more people in has been wonderful but theres just something about a smaller fandom that feels nice. we were never by any means a Small fandom but we're a Lot bigger now than we were just a few years ago!

Q: I understand that you were the face of Silverfish2020 (winner of the first MCYTblr elections). What was your experience in the elections themselves like?

A: first, clarifying; unfortunately silverfish2020 was Not the winner of the first election; that was quotes2020, represented by mcyt-quotes (who i believe has since changed urls? apologies but im not sure what their current one is or if theyre still active at all ^^;) by exactly four votes -- for me the elections were a lot of fun! when they were first starting up i wasn't sure if i wanted to join, since there were a Lot of people involved already and i hadn't really solidified myself as part of the community yet (i think i was still almost exclusively a musical blog back in the first days of it, not multifandom, which is so wild to think about tbh). im really glad i did though, i met some truly amazing people through the event that i still talk with to this day :] everything felt very fast paced at the time, especially since the discord was almost always going at blink-and-youll-miss-it speeds; you had to be Constantly in there if you wanted to participate in conversation. i remember whenever someone joined the server there would be a mob of people from different parties trying to convince them to side with theirs. surprisingly, that tactic worked pretty well for a lot of parties. i vividly remember that there was usually a pause of activity in the general server when results were being posted and a boom when they were all out. it was overall just a generally pretty positive environment from what i remember

Q: You were also a contestant in the MCYTblr ‘Friend or Host’ for Paint (adhddream). What do you remember of it?

A: friend or host was great! i wasnt in the competition long (iirc i was one of the first five out??? i dont actually remember how many contestants there were for the round but i know i was pretty early ^^;) but paint seemed really chill, it was just a nice little thing that we did for fun at love or hosts peak. i remember the discord stream of it didnt exactly go very well -- there was an issue with the visuals i think? so it might have been only audio. but im not entirely sure about that, it didnt really stick in my mind as well as other things from that era.

Q: What was the roleplay for Silverfish2020 like?

A: the silverfish roleplay was very,, im not sure what the best word for it would be. chaotic maybe. there were a lot of things going on there just because there were a lot of things going on in the elections roleplay as a whole. we really leaned into the cult thing when the jokes started and it just kinda spiraled from there. in the beginning we toyed with the idea of a chestburster type thing living inside of the party members but it never really went anywhere despite how much we talked about it in our private discord,, instead we just focused on the party being a sort of hivemind. they lived in a stronghold under a dead forest and would try to get others to listen to 'the buzz' (like. insect buzzing. except if you listened to it long enough youd start hearing promises of a new family and respect and power and shit like that). one of our party members, shard (@shardofsun) was very thorough with all of her lore, going so far as to make detailed plans in a notebook of hers. the roleplay extended throughout the other elections as well (if you ignore the third and only through past lifetimes in the fourth) and is still partially going on now!

Q: You’ve been consistently keeping a list of all ‘kinnie’ (content creator imposter) blogs. Which ones stood out to you?

A: i think one of the imposter blogs that stood out most to me was definitely iamdreamwastaken (who eventually moved to tmblrdream) just because they were very interactive and took all the shit we sent them in stride. i also really liked the timedeo imposter despite never watching any of timedeos stuff. just thought they were cool. honourable shoutout to the eret and nihachu imposters too they rocked

Q: What are the biggest blogs you can remember? What was your impression of them?

A: the biggest blogs i can remember are probably gnfkitten [braveboyhalo] back when cat was the only one on the blog, adhddream, hearty-an0n(maybe not a Big one?? but very active and in a Lot of peoples inboxes from what i saw) and wooteena. there are definitely more urls i remember like georgeeehd (i think?) and wormweeb but i dont think i followed georgeeehd and i cant remember a whole lot of wormweebs stuff apart from the infertility post so i cant accurately answer for them ^^; wooteena was an acquaintance of mine; we didnt talk a whole lot but we were mutuals for a while. they were always pretty chill, despite the fact there were people out there shipping them with a friend of theirs?? ive always had huge respect for them just because they had the energy to deal with shit like that. i was friends with gnfkitten and hearty-an0n, at the very least in a 'wave at each other on the street' way, and i have really fond memories of the both of them :] hearty is still active, they post about sports these days from what i see on my dash, but im not sure if cat is despite gnfkitten being active as a group blog. adhddream always seemed really cool! my memory of their blog isnt super clear but i know i really liked seeing them on my dash back in the day. since this is tumblr i have no way of knowing if any of these people were actually Big Blogs but it definitely seemed like they were to me at the time haha

Q: What was the most insane piece of fandom drama you can remember from early MCYTblr? Did you participate?

A: i dont actually remember a whole lot of fandom drama from that time honestly. i tended to stay in my bubble of mutuals and other people i followed so it rarely ever crossed my dash. i was like ,, 15-16 at the time so fandom drama stressed me wayyyyy out, i tried my best to avoid it. the only stuff i can really remember at all was people fighting about whether or not it was okay to ship the characters from the dream smp and if shipping the characters was the same as shipping the players, but i never participated in any of the discourse from what i can recall

Q: Is there anything else you want to mention or that you want to be written down and remembered?

A: nope! though im happy to clarify on anything stated here if needed or answer any other questions that may arise :]

#Early MCYTblr Interviews #Volume 1 #nibbleinephym

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oogalaboogalabich · 3 months

Text

Just a concept i have in my head for my Dhampir run. This would be in the nights before confronting cazador. (Kind of spoilers? A little bit? Just bein safe)

----

Degon: "Be honest with me...how tempted are you to complete that ritual?"

Astarion: "I was fairly certain when we got here but...Now im not so sure."

Degon: "Good...its never wise to be certain of anything so important. It implies that one doesnt understand everything involved, because its always farr to complicated for black and white."

Astarion hesitates: "You would try to stop me."

Degon: "At any cost...it would be hard for me. but i cannot allow anyone to have this power. not even you."

Astarion: "I could leave you know..." he sounded frantic, but the threat was empty. They both knew that. A few weeks ago he may have... maybe. But a lot has changed.

Degon nods: "You could."

Astarion: "I mean it. I could...i could go somewhere so far you would never see me again."

Degon offers him a bittersweet smile: "I highly doubt that, but i would do my best to respect your decision." Degon looks thoughtful, but wholly unconvinced. "I would find a way to carry on, as i always do."

Astarion flinches: "That...i think that may have actually hurt."

Degon: " You know what I am. You know of that ...that Void, Astarion. Youve seen it in Ca-.... It is what we become when we turn, swallows who we were. I cannot offer what I dont have to give you." Hes trying to get his point across and the elf, damned fool, still plays the wounded wife. "What would you have me say astarion?"

Astarion scowls: "I dont know...that you would chase after me...that you would change your mind and help? Support me in this? Perhaps even...someday we could make seven new spawn so you could ...." he trails off when degons expression darkens. "Dont give me that look...i know."

Degon sighs: "...Its a wonderful fantasy astarion."

Astarion: "It is....isnt it? What would you do first?"

Degon: "I am unsure...my life up until now has always been under someone elses command....more or less."

Astarion blinks and then smirks, scoffing under his breath: "We really are quite alike arent we?"

Degon: "gay"

Astarion: *smacks the elf upside his head*

---

And then the fight happens and after theyre just like-

Cause honestly like...how do you even cope?

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion x durge #cazador szarr

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beardisable · 11 months

Text

been rewatching the teasers for new context

"learn the history. find kill the founder" we didnt really learn much history in generation 1. this is... a call to action for US, for the next parts. to keep watching and figure out the lore. so in the end we can know enough to kill the founder....? SURELY HAHA

(the inaguration has its separate post here)

i dont think Connecting... has much? Its the tape we see in the ending with the showfall chime in the video, now we have confirmation the person recording and showfall are working together(prob the same corp anyways)

now Connected... (copied text from a comment lmao)

"Look into infinity" "One of many" "One of millions" you are not the first or the last to be chosen, you will join a cast

"You are now worthy" you have been chosen to join :)

"One to another One to yours One to another" not really sure about these? maybe "from one to another role"? feel free to rb/reply with ideas

The posters! it seems like we DO have contact with someone from actually the outside? who does know whats going on and tries to warn us? or is it another ploy by showfall/the founder to entice us into the mystery...

we see a figure block the screen for a moment, i find the white square instead of ranboos black box square Very interesting. i dont think its the founder bc it feels way too obvious to give out this easily? but i do think the white box might mean like. this person has been completely brainwashed and under control...

and then the message is taped over by ranboos missing posters, which we know now were made BY showfall media. 2 posters are torn, to show WATCH from the below poster. as it is the only message they agree with. keep watching!

Announcement this is the same guy that flashed by in the previous video

"all around THIS world" is pretty suspicious as i saw someone point out... are there other worlds?

This seperate person(?) is trying to contact us during this

"where is this signal going?" hmm... perhaps the outsider isnt even completely sure what they are doing? just trying to do SOMETHING to stop this, to stop us from watching and enabling the continuing of this

"Found them!" is interesting... its not in red so ill assume its by showfall? maybe sneeg and charlie have tried to escape before, but gotten caught again?

"is this working? i dont have much time. i dont know whats happening." AH so yes they are trying to do Something but not really sure what/how

"i dont know what you are" INTERESTING. this makes me wonder still if the outsider actually is free of showfalls influence, can they even understand we are the audience, or is it about something else...

"it already found him" i wonder if... ok maybe nonsense theory but maybe this video and its interruptions were made after the first stream was done..? the red text outsider got some access as Hetch/H "messed" with the systems, but had to cut it short when they got ranboo after all in the end?

"it got everyone, everyone but me. i have to save them, i have to stop this" OR or... the outsider is another person who managed to escape the... "draft"

also the announcer guys head keeps swiveling and goes featureless in the end like haha nice generation loss the social experiments episode 3 ending reference

The Hero ok so the obvious being the censor bar.. it was the black box all along, he was always doomed like that... i do wonder though if the switch between the pixel and irl is meant to show like... the blinking between control and concious decisions and stuff that we see a lot of with the mask

i cant figure out anything that can be recontextualized in the 2 trailers rn. maybe puzzler saying "your final game begins now" since its the second episode but... also he dies in the end of ep 3 so it was his final run of the show? (but also i dont think theyre dead so lmao idk)

i do find the lack of trailer 3 very interesting too... lulling us into a false sense of security that this 3rd one isnt a show and is real?

ok im. brain empty. if yall have comments on this let em rip id love to talk about this(once my cells regenerate)

#generation loss #generation loss spoilers #genloss spoilers #genloss #ranboo #ranboolive #generation loss the social experiments #bear.txt #yeah #im sure people have found most of this out already but i dont really have the energy/time to read the long lore documents #also i wanted somewhat of my own interpretation not just reading off ppls theories before it was 'over' soo yeah

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neonun-au · 2 years

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thoughts on k r&b? favorite artists/producers? i trust your opinion…..

if you want something more specific then rank beenzino’s discography lol

wow this sent me down a rabbit hole lmao i used to dip my toes a LOT into k r&b but i fell out of it after a while cause the rappers that crossed over with it so often started to annoy me a lil bit when show me the money became like...a big thing LMAO so so many of my faves are old old

beenzino has a great discography. hes definitely up there as a fave. 24 26 girl live life like a fish...still top peak album so good.

i mean zion.t is a classic and he undeniably made so much good stuff, but primary was really where it was at for me. he seems to have sort of...disappeared, but his 2012 album??? unreal. SEETHRU?????

what happened to sonnet son? she was so interesting and its so hard to find her stuff now fdjksf ms. burgundy was my fucking jam the year it came out i was so into it

i kind of fell off of it around the time dean started gaining popularity but his first album i still love. 21 is a solid bop every time i listen to it

simon d. simon dominic. simon d o m i n i c oh oh. classic. he makes great stuff. cheerz still goes as hard as ever

suran is always a good listen. like no matter what she does, her voice just comes through so nicely.

gray had a hand in a lot of songs i really loved back in the day, and to this day still he's making some interesting stuff. blink was and still is a real fave (esp the remix)

giriboy has been making a lot of things lately that i very much enjoy as well, and he has been a staple for a while i think !

i also sort of miss kanto? he did some really fun collabs with some idols. his song with infinite's sunggyu was one i listened to a lot back in the day. i should catch up with his stuff

crush is good, but i never really got too much into his stuff. i loved his song 'sometimes' but i loved the cover by jamie park (ne jimin park) a lot more than the original tbh i was trying to find it but its so impossible fjhdaskjfd maybe ill have to upload it from my itunes

dynamic duo's 7th album (luckynumbers) is one that i really enjoyed. it was like...nice summertime r&b.

i used to listen to this guy called eachone a lot. he had an album in 2012 called diorama that i was really really in love with. especially the song i like...

this soulights album in particular

sexyhomme had some mixtapes that i loved that sort of straddled the line between r&b and hip hop a lot, but i always loved them. theyre difficult to find now, but he has some stuff up on spotify that is still very good ! (also 0 monthly listeners??? wth?)

do you remember that cover of officially missing you that geeks did? i dont know what happened to them but i still listen to that song. they did one with jo hyunah of urban zakapa too called just go and i really love that song

as far as the current k r&b scene goes, i think that bibi and bi (funny) are making some really interesting stuff ! btbt blew my fucking mind so im happy to see him doing some stuff. and bibi is hit or miss for me with her actual songs but i always think she's doing something interesting.

mino's last album is genuinely phenomenal. im so into it. i think he has been doing some really interesting things for a while now but that album was sort of the best of him all boiled down into one package. i loved kill and the title track tang ofc

sam kim put out a nice album in 2018 that i got to late but its a great time.

i would be remiss if i didnt mention feeldog !! ex-idol now doing a lot of production and his own solo stuff. and its all exceptionally good and very underrated. detox really is a favourite of mine this year, such a gem

the scene has changed so much from when i used to actively pay attention to it i dont even really know who is still in it beyond the k r&b that is so seeped into the fabric of kpop itself now. im glad so many idols are finding some purchase in the genre through solo careers and stuff, like genuinely i love yugyeoms r&b, and baekhyun and kai make some really solid stuff.

honestly it seems to me like the future of k r&b is a lot of idols / ex idols who genuinely grew up on and love the genre and are bringing their flavour and experience from the pop industry side of things to r&b and i think thats pretty cool. its always been rather interwoven, but you see more and more crossover now than ever before

#jesus i was supposed to go to bed forever ago but i got really focused in on this question LOL #i know there are so many that im missing #just by the nature of it but #replies #naptimed #also the muddy waters of kpop / k r&b #i was trying to keep it mostly #....non pop focused??? but i do love a lot of what idols are doing rn in the k r&b sphere #the old guard has sort of faded away it seems #this is so long and so like....disorganized im so sorry lmao

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valleynix · 11 months

Note

Chapter 18 analysis LETS GOOOOO

I wanted to get this out sooner but I’ve been so busy lately 😭

Anyways congrats on 39k hits and 1100 kudos on ao3‼️‼️‼️

THEY CARE‼️‼️ I now believe everything lunny says, since they never lied before. I trust in lunatic intuition

Man.. I Wonder who do that 🤨🧐🧐🧐

Truly an unsolved mystery

MY HEART

Daniela loves reader sm omg

And reader really is someone who grounds daniela, considering that she didn’t go feral when they were bleeding in front of her the second time and the fact she literally drank their blood

SHEE NEEDS THEMM

You sure about that 🤨🤨

I’m assuming reader is gonna tell Bela the truth next (since telling Alcina is scary af) and I’m really excited for the scene to happen

SHES IN LOVE OMGG THEYRE SO CUTE

This whole scene had me giggling and kicking my feet they're so cute together 😭

I also think Bela is going to be the next person to confess her feelings to reader, AND I CANT WAIT I LOVE BELA

I love jealous reader LMAO

I was worried for a second that lunatic still wanted to work for Miranda, but thankfully they were just faking it 😭 (correct me if I’m wrong) but I wonder, was Miranda watching them from nearby for them to fake it? Or was she doing some mind stuff?

This part was when I kinda knew that it wasn’t lunatic causing any of the hallucinations. Cuz if I remember from part one, the hallucinations that lunatic shows were mostly of the dimitrescus being very.. uncomfortable? I guess? (I don’t really know how else to describe it) and maybe some other stuff about them crumbling/dying. But I never remembered lunatic showing them something about reader themselves (correct me if I’m wrong).

NAH WHO TF R U

I NEVER MET YOU IN MY ENTIRE LIFE ☝️

Okay but this scene really got my brain GOING, the writing was great 😭

And the part with that other voice monster thing was very unsettling. My guess is that the young version thing and the monster thing are the same person, since reader said something about seeing something dark underneath their skin

And I’m glad reader wasn’t really tricked by the weird voices of anything, they know their beloveds would never

10:

THEYRE EVILLL

my guess is that watcher made a deal with Miranda to bring them back to their reality if they torment reader

And for this part I think the someone else is that weird monster voice thing. Maybe watcher was trying to distract reader until the monster attacked them and reader accidentally attacks the dimis? And then lunny snaps them back to reality?

11:

You don’t even try to fight her moving away from you, her brows furrowed as she glances between you and your copy. “You… We trusted you-“

OH MY HEART

This scene was so sad but I’m glad Bela was okay. One thing I really love is how you make the dimis put their family first over reader.

12:

In one last ditch effort to gain her attention away from everything else, you muster what’s left of your strength and energy to mutter out a rough, weak, “Mother.”

BROS MAKING MIRANDA RETHINK HER LIFE CHOICES RN

Her mother instincts kicked in

I do Wonder what’s going to happen now (if mother Miranda is still conflicted with this), like is Miranda going to try to be a ‘mother’ to reader now or?? I LOVE MIRANDA ANGST

13:

You blink once, twice. The third time, your eye does not reopen.

Let me just say- THIS WHOLE SCENE GOT ME GOING

LIKE DAMN READER REALLY ALMOST DIED

Like the other times it was just really bad injuries, but girl really stabbed straight through their neck💀 I am so excited for the next chapter with this reader angst

AND THE DIMIS?!?

omg I wished we were able to hear what they were saying cuz they just witnessed their love getting brutally stabbed 😭

14:

Some time during your spiral, you feel something settle beside you, some weight nudging against your back. When you peek your head out from beneath the blanket, you see that crow leaning into you, watching the door intently. Your copy says nothing to you, no smart comment or even a noise. They watch the door, never straying from their protective position beside you.

THEYRE LOOKING OUT FOR THEM‼️‼️ PROTECTIVE LUNNY THEY CAREEEE

I’m really excited for how their relationship will go, and so happy that lunatic is officially (I think) on reader's side. They’ll be able to talk to each other about everything that happened, cuz even if cass and Dani know they never really remembered anything. So they’ll be there for each other

THIS CHAPTER WAS AMAZING AS ALWAYS

I wanted to say more but I’ve been so busy and burnout lately 😭😭

Keep up the great work ❤️❤️

PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST!!! you better be getting lots of rest and drinking plenty of water/eating plenty of food or ELSE >:(

but onto the analysis <33 i saw the notif pop up on my phone and couldn't stop grinning BAHA

Lunatic has canonically never lied!! maybe omitted some things or said things they truly believed at the time or what they were told, but they've never intentionally lied :3 always a treat to go back and read the things they've said while knowing that bit of information

you could never guess who did that :)

I LOVE THEIR RELATIONSHIP SO MUCH- they literally need each other, both help the other stay grounded and in reality and they're just so sweet and caring and they love each other so much PLEASE MY HEART

i have plans >:3

i already have her confession scene planned out AND IT'S SO... BELA???? IM SO EXCITED TO WRITE IT AND SHARE IT AAAAAAA

jealous Reader my beloved <333

bro was just feeling edgy in the moment 😔 and it was a bit of both! she was definitely monitoring their progress mentally while keeping an eye on them after they took over, which is why she knew exactly where to find both of them. Lunatic, thankfully, also knew she was watching them so they could pretend to be on her side to keep both of them alive a little longer

you're right!! this entire scene was actually meant to be a clear show that Lunatic hadn't even done anything to them; whatever was happening in their head was from an outside party looking to clearly harm them or cause them distress. Lunatic strictly showed the Dimitrescus looking a little wrong or showed specific memories of the Dimis dying/crumbling/injured, but never anything like what they were shown here

i will give you a hint and say they're the same person; it's only a matter of who this person is and what they want with Reader :3 and they know their beloveds would never do such a thing!! they'd never guilt trip Reader for things out of their control

the way i giggled at this MWAHAHA but it's a really good guess!! i suppose we'll see soon enough if your theory is correct >:3

THE DIMIS WOULD PUT THEIR FAMILY OVER ANY READER/OC AND I STAND BY THAT. these mfs who have only had each other for years would NOT betray their own family for some little idiot they've known at MAX a few months. nuh uh. i don't believe it

EHEHEHE I HAVE HORRIBLE THINGS PLANNED >:3 i loved writing this part and having Miranda be utterly conflicted with what to do as she finally saw them after all this time and through all these many different experiments... my heart :(

GENUINELY A VERY SHOCKING MOMENT- like, how does one even recover from something like that?? trick question, but i can let you in on what the fruit flies were doing: Cassandra went straight for Miranda upon seeing Reader fall, which is who we saw as like a blur chasing after her. Bela was completely in shock and unable to hold Daniela any longer, who went to Reader's side and tried to get them to speak to her or do anything to show they were still alive and could see her. Cassandra was then either knocked down or killed (haven't decided which was worse), which caused Daniela to try going for Miranda to help her sister, and that caused Bela to finally snap into action to save her family. it... did not end well

I LOVE PROTECTIVE LUNATIC SO MUCH!!! my poor baby just wants to be loved and appreciated and they're finally realizing that Reader could be the one to give that to them. they're my favorite traumatized siblings and i love them so much <33

AAAA BUT THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR THOUGHTS!!! i've been mentally exhausted lately so i understand being burnt out, and i want you to take care of yourself >:/ take breaks where it's needed and worry about yourself first!! or else!!!!

i appreciate you so much and it has been an honor to read your analyses and see the wonderful art you've created <333333

#asks #THIS WAS SO FUN TO READ #THANK YOU

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bluusome · 2 years

Note

hello hello hi I am phone guy pleasure to meet you I'd like to leave a few quick words freddys friends can be a bit active blah blah blah that's completely absurd bonnie freddy time to get ready midnight already time to play hey I heard they hired a new guy and it's his first day I'll try out all the cameras to see what they do let's check the animatronics did one of them just move don't be dumb that's insane look through standing all the same looking for one who could be funny staring right at me bonnie oops sorry what's that sound it seems to be screaming everything seeming slightly strange let's say hi he seems with jumpy how do these cameras change theyre heading here just to eat me like juicy fresh fruit or maybe they're all stuff me inside a fazbear suit seal doors hit the lights hey new guy are you all right stay away leave me be don't be scared it's only me maybe we should leave him a note oh no he sounds like he's in trouble foxy are you there the new guys trapped inside they're breaking down the doors he sounds so terrified hold on foxys coming to get you is there something in the vent why does it smell like blood and mucus hey that's our chill sent you to disguise to hide in a mask or a head hey chica check the kitchen I think that cameras dead don't blink don't breathe don't move please foxy leave baby I love you you're so bad baby I love you oh baby I love you I love you because you're bad oh my what's he doing ceiling the air vents new guy don't you need fresh air while im feeling kind of loopy at least I don't feel scared oh no new guy forgot the wind the music box huh what the heck do I need a music box for to keep the puppet sleeping new guys using too much power new guy open the door you're going to blow a fuse keep this thing away from me oeughfhehdg aaaaa oh he must be scared of the dark maybe he’ll cheat up if you sing him your song I wanna go h-home hi there im freddy wanna come and play I think your special in your own way id like to sing a song with you it’s my favorite thing to do cause I love you through and through your singing sucks wow tough crowd it’s not working come on guys everybody sing along come play with freddy play the night away all freddys friends have come here to say we’d love to sing a song to do it’s our favorite thing to do cause we love you through and through purple guy aj im aj are you here to kill me no im here for the morning shift it’s 6am i i lived i lived yep yep you did by the way how are you getting so many hours your scheduled four more nights this week what

idk if i should clap or be disappointed

#asks #beepboopbread #mutuals #fnaf #long post

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shkspr · 3 years

Note

hi. on your post where you may or may not have ended on 'moffat is either your angel or your devil' did you have maybe an elaboration on that somewhere that i could possibly hear about. i'm very much a capaldi era stan and i've never tried to defend the matt smith era even though it had delightful moments sometimes so i wonder where that puts me. i'd love to hear your perspective on moffat as a person with your political perspective. -nicole

hi ok sorry i took so long to respond to this but i dont think you know how LOADED this question is for me but i am so happy to elaborate on that for you. first a few grains of salt to flavor your understanding of the whole situation: a. im unfairly biased against moffat bc im a davies stan and a tennant stan; b. i still very much enjoy and appreciate moffat era who for many reasons; and c. i hate moffat on a personal level far more than i could ever hate his work.

the thing is that its all always gonna be a bit mixed up bc i have to say a bunch of seemingly contradictory things in a row. for instance, a few moffat episodes are some of my absolute favorites of the rtd era, AND the show went way downhill when moffat took over, AND the really good episodes he wrote during the rtd era contained the seeds of his destruction.

like i made that post about the empty child/the doctor dances and it holds true for blink and thats about it bc the girl in the fireplace and silence in the library/forest of the dead are good but not nearly on the same level, and despite the fact that i like them at least nominally, they are also great examples of everything i hate about moffat and how he approached dw as a whole.

basically. doctor who is about people. there are many things about moffats tenure as showrunner that i think are a step up from rtd era who! actual gay people, for one! but i think that can likely be attributed mostly to an evolving Society as opposed to something inherent to him and his work, seeing as rtd is literally gay, and the existence of queer characters in moffats work doesnt mean the existence of good queer characters (ill give him bill but thats it!)

i have a few Primary Grievances with moffat and how he ran dw. all of them are things that got better with capaldi, but didnt go away. they are as follows:

moffat projects his own god complex onto the doctor

rtd era who had a doctor with a god complex. you cant ever be the doctor and not have a god complex. the problem with moffats era specifically is that the god complex was constant and unrepentant and was seen as a fundamental personality trait of the doctor rather than a demon he has to fight. he has the Momence where you feel bad for him, the Momence where he shows his humility or whatever and youre reminded that he doesnt want to be the lonely god, but those are just. moments. in a story where the doctor thinks hes the main character. rtd era doctor was aware that he wasnt the main character. he had to be an authority sometimes and he had to be the loner and he had to be sad about it, but he ultimately understood that he was expendable in a narrative sense.

this is how you get lines like “were the thin fat gay married anglican marines, why would we need names as well?” from the same show that gave you the gut punch moment at the end of midnight when they realize that nobody asked the hostess for her name. and on the one hand, thats a small sticking point, but on the other hand, its just one small example of the simple disregard that moffat has for humanity.

incidentally, this is a huge part of why sherlock sucked so bad: moffats main characters are special bc theyre so much bigger and better than all the normal people, and thats his downfall as a showrunner. he thinks that his audience wants fucking sheldon cooper when what they want is people.

like, ok. think of how many fantastic rtd era eps are based in the scenario “what if the doctor wasnt there? what if he was just out of commission for a bit?” and how those eps are the heart of the show!! bc theyre about people being people!! the thing is that all of the rtd era companions would have died for the doctor but he understood and the story understood that it wasnt about him.

this is like. nine sending rose home to save her life and sacrifice his own vs clara literally metaphysically entwining her existence w the doctor. ten also sending rose with her family to save her life vs river being raised from infancy to be obsessed w the doctor and then falling in love w him. martha leaving bc she values herself enough to make that decision vs amy being treated like a piece of meat.

and this is simultaneously a great callback to when i said that moffats episodes during the rtd era sometimes had the same problems as his show running (bc girl in the fireplace reeks of this), and a great segue into the next grievance.

moffat hates women

he hates women so fucking much. g-d, does steven moffat ever hate women. holy shit, he hates women. especially normal human women who prioritize their normal human lives on an equal or higher level than the doctor. moffat hated rose bc she wasnt special by his standards. the empty child/the doctor dances is the nicest he ever treated her, and she really didnt do much in those eps beyond a fuck ton of flirting.

girl in the fireplace is another shining example of this. youve got rose (who once again has another man to keep her busy, bc moffat doesnt think shes good enough for the doctor) sidelined for no reason only to be saved by the doctor at the last second or whatever. and then youve got reinette, who is pretty and powerful and special!

its just. moffat thinks that the doctor is as shallow and selfish as he is. thats why he thinks the doctor would stay in one place with reinette and not with rose. bc moffat is shallow and sees himself in the doctor and doesnt think he should have to settle for someone boring and normal.

not to mention rose met the doctor as an adult and chose to stay with him whereas reinette is. hm. introduced to the doctor as a child and grows up obsessed with him.

does that sound familiar? it should! bc it is also true of amy and river. and all of them are treated as viable romantic pairings. bc the only women who deserve the doctor are the ones whose entire existence revolves around him. which includes clara as well.

genuinely i think that at least on some level, not even necessarily consciously, that bill was a lesbian in part bc capaldi was too old to appeal to mainstream shippers. like twelve/clara is still a thing but not as universally appealing as eleven/clara but i am just spitballing. but i think they weighed the pros and cons of appealing to the woke crowd over the het shippers and found that gay companion was more profitable. anyway the point is to segue into the next point, which is that moffat hates permanent consequences.

moffat hates permanent consequences

steven moffat does not know how to kill a character. honestly it feels like hes doing it on purpose after a certain point, like he knows he has this habit and hes trying to riff on it to meme his own shit, but it doesnt work. it isnt funny and it isnt harmless, its bad writing.

the end of the doctor dances is so poignant and so meaningful and so fucking good bc its just this once! everybody lives, just this once! and then he does p much the same thing in forest of the dead - this one i could forgive, bc i do think that preserving those peoples consciousnesses did something for the doctor as a character, it wasnt completely meaningless. but everything after that kinda was.

rory died so many times its like. get a hobby lol. amy died at least once iirc but it was all a dream or something. clara died and was erased from the doctors memory. river was in prison and also died. bill? died. all of them sugarcoated or undone or ignored by the narrative to the point of having effectively no impact on the story. the point of a major character death is that its supposed to have a point. and you could argue that a piece of art could be making a point with a pointless death, ie. to put perspective on it and remind you that bad shit just happens, but with moffat the underlying message is always “i can do whatever i want, nothing is permanent or has lasting impact ever.”

basically, with moffat, tragedy exists to be undone. and this was a really brilliant, really wonderful thing in the doctor dances specifically bc it was the doctor clearly having seen his fair share of tragedy that couldnt be helped, now looking on his One Win with pride and delight bc he doesnt get wins like this! and then moffat proceeded to give him the same win over and over and over and over. nobody is ever dead. nobody is ever unable to be saved. and if they are, really truly dead and/or gone, then thats okay bc moffat has decided that [insert mitigating factor here]*

*the mitigating factor is usually some sort of computerized database of souls.

i can hear the moffat stans falling over themselves to remind me that amy and rory definitely died, and they did - after a long and happy life together, they died of old age. i dont consider that a character death any more than any other character choosing to permanently leave the tardis.

and its not just character deaths either, its like, everything. the destruction of gallifrey? never mind lol! character development? scrapped! the same episode four times? lets give it a fifth try and hope nobody notices. bc he doesnt know how to not make the doctor either an omnipotent savior or a self-pitying failure.

it is in nature of doctor who, i believe, for the doctor to win most of the time. like, it wouldnt be a very good show if he didnt win most of the time. but it also wouldnt be a very good show if he won all of the time. my point is that moffats doctor wins too often, and when he doesnt win, it feels empty and hollow rather than genuinely humbling, and you know hes not gonna grow from it pretty much at all.

so like. again, i like all of doctor who i enjoy all of it very much. i just think that steven moffat is a bad show runner and a decent writer at times. and it is frustrating. and im not here to convince or convert anyone im just living my truth. thank you for listening.

#sorry if this is repetitive or makes no sense or if i got some details of the show wrong #i simply couldnt be bothered to put too much effort into this post #lest it become a research paper and take me several weeks to answer #anyway thats all my opinions #dw #ok to rb

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dr3amofagame · 3 years

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so... the red banquet, huh?

im not going to lie, i was cheering on the eggpire the entire time (/lh) - what can i say, something abt the demon possessed resident evil crew just speaks to my heart. theyre FUN, ok?

anyway, a lot of people were theorizing abt what c!dream showing up at the banquet could look like - and, well, i thought i’d write my version of it. this takes place in the “guard dog au” developed primarily by a gc im in on twitter (@stabbysideblog being the main originator of it, do check sunny out !!) - the basic premise is post-getting the revive book from c!dream, c!quackity continues to get his, uh, “use” out of him by basically treating him as a bodyguard/guard dog as he goes around the server - which should probably give you a pretty good idea of how this is going to go :]

tws: death, grief, implied torture, starvation, abuse, blood, murder, unhealthy relationship, dehumanization, possession, trauma, mental illness, violence, dark content, dark imagery, emotional distress, mental instability, pandora’s vault/prison arc, c!quackity critical (not really, but a very dark portrayal of him)

A strangled sob claws its way up Puffy’s throat as she watches Foolish fall.

He drops in a spray of golden ichor in the crimson, brilliant green eyes trained on hers, jaw slack in horror, pain, dipping to the ground and whiting out before he’s even fully collapsed. The others’ screams hardly even meet her ears; all she can see is her son, falling, her son, dying, her son, that same sunlit kindness still held in the curve of his lips in this room that knows nothing but pain and betrayal, gone gone gone gone-

Because of her.

Ant’s still staring at her, pupils thinned to needles from the brightness of the lava at their backs, ears alert but stance entirely calm as he twirls his sword, still dripping gold. His mouth is moving but she cannot hear anything above the ring ring ringing in her ears, the world swirling and blurring dangerously from the tears gathering in her eyes and spilling over her cheeks, Ant’s eyes polished rubies where there had once been a cloudless sky. Bad gestures at the crowd, pushed back towards the lava’s fire in their fear, leaving her to stand in the middle of the room as one desperate dying scream, the egg, standing as a silent witness to it all-

“Bad-” a flash of blue, and there’s someone standing in front of her, shoulders pulled back, a diamond sword glittering their right hand, “Stop it.”

“Quackity.”’

Bad snarls, tail whipping back and forth; Puffy takes a step back, then another, shoulders still shaking in grief for her son, for her friends, for everyone who’s about to lose their lives in this twisted realm of crimson and hellfire. There is no fear on Quackity’s face though he stands unarmored, and for the first time in this awful day something like worry flashes over Bad’s face. There’s history here, she realizes - what did Bad say about Quackity attacking? - but none of this is making sense, not the self-assured way Quackity is carrying himself, wings relaxed and folded at his back, not the simmering unease making itself known in the foreign cadence of Bad’s voice.

“Oh my gosh, look at what you’ve done,” Quackity says, voice almost patronizing, like a parent stumbling in on the mess their child has made out of their bedroom, “this is impressive, I’m not going to lie, this is quite impressive.” Puffy swallows thickly, hears the shuddering gasp of someone behind her - Fundy, probably, or Sam - as Quackity’s voice drops. “You have to stop right now.”

“Stop?”

“This whole Egg thing is just getting out of control - you just killed a man,” Quackity stalks across the netherbrick floor like he has all the time in the world, ignoring the crossbows that the Eggpire has trained on his back, guarded only by the off-white shirt he’s wearing, an untied tie hanging limply around his neck. She sucks in a sharp breath through her teeth - my son, they killed my son, she means to say, but the words stick to the walls of her throat and only escape her lungs in another series of wracking sobs. “Is that what you wanted to do, Bad?”

He laughs - laughs, of all things, and there is something here that Puffy is missing, that isn’t clicking through the muddied fog of grief hanging grey and suffocating around her head, but Quackity is speaking again and she can’t think about it all, not now, “-and I’m not gonna have it anymore, Bad.”

He slips over by the crowd, eyes glancing all of them huddled in one fearful mob over the tables, eyes dark and daring and cold; the Eggpire keeps their eyes trained on him, Bad’s eyebrows furrowed, Ant’s muzzle twisted in a snarl. Puffy watches, their words passing over her like water skidding against the surface of a rock splitting a stream in two, heart thudding in her ears, marking out the heartsick beats in this poisoned melody - one-two, her-son, her-son, her-son-

He stops in front of her in the middle of monologuing, eyes trained on her own like he’s trying to tell her something. His eyes flick down and she follows their gaze to his other hand, the one not clasped around a sword handle, watches as he gestures vaguely in the direction of the Eggpire. She frowns, confusion cutting through the grief - what is he trying to say? - and Quackity sighs, index finger slashing in the air in the shape of what might be an A as he spins on his heel to walk back towards Bad and the others.

“So how about we just stop playing?”

Quackity smiles, teeth white and glittering from the lava’s glow even as the Eggpire surrounds him, pushes him back against the wall. Bad seems to hesitate, hand clasped around the trigger of a crossbow he keeps pointed at the other’s head; when he speaks, he almost sounds mournful.

“I can’t,” he mutters, quiet, stepping forwards as his shoulders straighten, pushing Quackity back in a motion that the others are quick to follow. Puffy watches, an awful sinking feeling falling through the hole left in her chest by the sight of her son, falling, her son, dead - watches as Quackity’s wings open, shine golden in the lava’s light - what is he planning?

“You know why I can’t stop.”

Quackity heaves a heavy sigh through his lungs, “Bad- you and all your buddies here, drop your weapons, and leave. Let all of these people go.”

“Or what?” Ant’s voice is sharp, but Quackity barely pays him a second thought, swinging a glare at his head and cutting him off.

“I’m not talking to you,” he laughs, dismissive, “I’m talking to Bad.”

“No-” Puffy watches as Bad’s hand tightens on his crossbow, punctuating the word with a step forward. “You put your weapon down. If you wanted to stop us?” He’s too close to Quackity for Puffy to make out either of their faces, crossbow bolt aimed and ready to send straight through his skull. She stiffens, sees from the corner of her eye as the ones beside her look away, and resigns herself to the inevitable spray of blood on brick - not again not again don’t make me watch again - “You should’ve brought more than just yourself.”

Quackity laughs.

“I did,” his voice is dangerous in its levity, making Bad, then the rest of the Eggpire step back as his wings spread open further, watching with bated breath and wide eyes as a swarm of white descends from a hidden hole in the wall, “Or, well, I did the next best thing. I brought my worst enemy.”

“What?”

“Alright Quackity, where’s this Egg thing?”

Technoblade jumps down into the room in a familiar purple-black blur of expertly enchanted netherite armor, form impeccable despite the seeming exhaustion in his voice. At his feet, a pack of wolves gather, pace, muscles coiled and clearly ready to strike; he rolls his shoulders back, signature fireworks loaded into his crossbow, and the crowd behind Puffy immediately breaks into shocked murmuring and soft cheers.

On Quackity’s other side, someone else flips into the room, wearing a suit of all things, crisp and well-pressed; Purpled grins, entirely too gleeful as the Eggpire presses back further, held off by the dogs swarming and growling at their feet.

“Purpled- we hired you!”

“To be frank with you, Bad, a sword appears in Purpled’s hand and he flips it casually, blade thin and gleaming, “Quackity just had the better price.”

“We- we still outnumber you!” Bad’s voice is a near-scream in its desperation, his tail lashing back and forth as he shifts his weight forward, “It’s four against three- we’ll still win-” Despite herself, Puffy’s mind spins; either way, they’re still at a disadvantage from sheer numbers alone, never mind Quackity’s lack of armor. Maybe if they all work together, they’ll be able to sufficiently stop them, but there’s no way she can see this ending in anything less than a bloodbath-

“I didn’t want for it to come to this, Bad,” Quackity’s voice drops low and sweet, the sincerity in his tone belied by his glittering eyes and jagged grin. The shift in tone sends a shiver down her back, has even his allies shifting uncomfortably in what seems to be confusion - Puffy catches something like a murmured no from Sam, behind her, before Quackity whistles, loud.

It all happens too fast for her to follow; one moment, the Eggpire is standing, weapons raised and ready to fight; the next, and there is a new netherite-clad figure in the middle of the room, signature sparks of purple from a pearl still glittering around them, axe buried into Antfrost’s chest. The room devolves into shrieks as his body dissolves, Bad gasping sharply and something dark bubbling in Puffy’s chest - good - as the newcomer in the room moves over to Ponk, bloodstained axe swinging in a downward arc, only barely stopped in time by a diamond sword catching on the crook of the blade.

“Go!” Quackity’s voice rings out above the chaos, and Techno and Purpled - seemingly shaken from their shock - fly into motion, fireworks bursting in flashes of red and black that send Puffy blinking out stars from her eyes, Purpled moving to match blows against Hannah and Techno’s army biting at the ankles of the Eggpire leader. Around her, people scream in relief, cheering as the Eggpire, clad in eggshell-blue, are pushed back one by one, hindered by a shifting wave of teeth and claws and clashing blades and netherite moving smoothly over the uneven floor - Bad screams, “RETREAT!”, and they disappear into the wall.

Purpled curses; “I’m going after them.” Puffy watches, still reeling, as he dives into the corridor that Bad had revealed, a flash of purple and blue melting into the shadows; the mystery figure - still hauling a heavy, bloodstained axe, nearly dragging against the floor - moves forward as to follow.

Quackity snaps his fingers, and the figure stops, turns, immediately moving to the winged man’s side. Behind her, Puffy can make out cheers, gasping, hysterical sounds of relief; she can’t join them, feels nothing but the shuddering weight of her grief pressing further on her lungs as the adrenaline fades, head dizzy with Foolish’ sharp gasp in pain, Ant’s yowl of agony. Her eyes flick to the side, catch on Sam pacing, muttering under his breath; when his eyes meet hers, they widen in something like - alarm?

She shakes her head; she can’t think about all of that, right now. Her hooves stumble over the vines and rot strewn over the floor, carrying her forward to the glitter of gold on red, to where her son had fallen and she could do no more but watch with a scream caught between her teeth.

A hand lands on her shoulder- “I’m sorry we couldn’t make it in time.”

She whirls around; Quackity’s looking down at her, face twisted in sympathy. Behind him, the armored stranger looms, hair long and tangled, helmet keeping their face in shadow and hiding their features from view. There’s something distantly familiar to them, in the way they shift from one foot to the other, something that makes her eyes narrow and throat tighten-

“Who are you?” The words tumble from her mouth, making Quackity freeze, jaw snapping shut, the figure behind him tensing almost imperceptibly under their armor. “Who-”

Quackity’s eyes are dark, piercing; she can’t read them, the flat line of his mouth as confusing as it is frustrating. His eyes flick up to somewhere over her shoulder before moving back to her own

“How rude of me,” He smiles, gold tooth glinting, “I didn’t even introduce our special guest.”

His right wing presses against their back, and they drop, immediately, to their knees, making her step back in shock. Quackity’s hand slips easily under the edge of their helmet, ripping it off with little care and letting their hair fall in a wave of dusty browns over their face; he pulls the strands back roughly, revealing the paleness to their skin, the hollows in their cheeks-

“Dream?”

Her breath shudders in her chest, eyes snapping up to Quackity, still smiling, hand still pressed against the back of his skull. Dream’s face is pale, thin, clawed with new scars that highlight the jut of his cheekbones and the dullness of his eyes. He looks up at her, eyes glassy, skin almost grey, and for a moment she’s looking at Foolish, eyes unseeing in death, the luster of his skin stolen like the air from his lungs, and she nearly screams.

“Puffy, Puffy,” Quackity murmurs, almost kind, “It’s alright, see? Everything’s fine now.”

“He- he’s supposed to be in prison,” she hisses, not missing how he flinches, not missing how even that is hindered by the hand braced against his head. He looks strangely small kneeling at Quackity’s side, dwarfed by the netherite he’s wearing; even with an axe strapped to his back, the blade still wet with crimson and reeking of iron and decay, he hardly looks like the villain that had terrorized the server, the son she could no longer recognize in the midst of the bridges he burned.

“Oh- don’t worry about him,” Quackity shrugs, wings fluttering, “It’s all being done with the Warden’s permission, Puffy, I know what I’m doing.” As if to prove his point, his hand tightens on the other’s hair, tugging his head back by the roots; Dream hardly even reacts, simply letting himself be manhandled, throat bare and exposed to the air, similarly criss-crossed by scars. “He’s perfectly well-behaved now, you see?”

Her throat closes, the pit in her gut torn open by the sight of her son with a blade skewered through his heart only growing wider, hungrier, by the dullness in the eyes of the other. Foolish’ death had happened too fast for her to react: one moment, he was staring at her, eyes mournful in goodbye; the next, he was a tumble of gold and green and blue against the floor, half of his name still not having left her lips. Dream’s head swivels to hers, face entirely blank; there is nothing quick written in the gauntness of his face, more scar tissue than skin, in the shadows under his eyes or how they seem to stare, unseeing, in the long, knotted strands of hair twisted over Quackity’s knuckles. He looks like he’s been dying, slowly, for months, and the screaming cry of YOU FAILED ringing in her head in Ant’s voice only grows louder.

“What did you-” the words scrape roughly against the inside of her mouth, “What did you do?”

Quackity shrugs, letting go, and Dream’s head tips forward to stare at the floor. “What had to be done.”

He clicks his fingers again, and Dream stands, falling behind Quackity with his shoulders pulled up to his ears. Quackity hands him back his helmet, keeping his hand stretched out, palm up, even after Dream takes the netherite and fastens it back over his head. Puffy watches, heart stuck in her throat, as Dream fiddles with something by his throat, pulls out a thick coil of iron chains, pressing the end to Quackity’s outstretched hand - the other side, she realizes, fastened around his neck.

Her breath stutters when he looks back at Quackity, gut roiling at the familiarity - it’s an imperfect copy of the way he used to look at her, a skittish shadow at her tail, all awkward smiles and fidgeting hands. Only now, his eyes don’t dance with the same light, his lungs shivering in fear instead of wheezing laughter; she watches as his head follows Quackity like he’s the only person in the room, a duckling imprinted on the nearest person and ready to follow to the ends of the world and further, and her heart shatters all over again.

“Anyway,” Quackity’s eyes soften, lips curled in sympathy, “My condolences, Puffy, for your son. It really is a tragedy.”

She watches him leave with tears in her eyes, a sob once again caught in her throat. The images overlap - Foolish, smiling under the sun’s glow, sitting on the roof of his summer home - Dream, grinning in the treetops, eyes as green as the leaves surrounding him - Foolish, falling in a spray of ichor and a gasp of pain, Dream, grey-eyed and silent, dead as the crimson rot surrounding his beaten body-

My condolences for your son, Quackity’s words echo in her skull, and not for the first time, she laughs miserably, tears falling from her eyes.

Which one?

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captainimprobable · 3 years

Text

Here’s a very messy first draft of a fic I’m working on! There will be five parts, which I’ll post together on Ao3 once theyre all done. This is the first part!

I’ll edit this for ao3 but I was too excited about it and wanted to post it here first before I did RIP

There are many things Luz admits she doesn’t understand. She can’t figure out how cars work, and she’s not so sure about long division. But, she thinks, as she watches her girlfriend chop up vegetables in the fading light of the setting sun, some things she does understand.

“How did you get so good at this?” Luz asks, stepping closer to peer over Amity’s shoulder. Every cut is perfect, each individual piece almost exactly like the one before. It makes sense. It is so Amity.

“Don’t get excited,” Amity warns, tipping the vegetables into a pot of boiling water. “This is all I know how to cook. I had a chef growing up.” She blushes brightly, and Luz grins. Amity blushing has become one of her Top Five Favorite Things, right under Azura and above Hexside.

Amity herself, of course, is above them all.

“Sorry,” Amity says sheepishly. “I didn’t mean to sound spoiled or anything, it’s just- my parents don’t cook, and they don’t have time to-”

“Amity. It’s fine.” Luz laughs, and Amity’s blush intensifies. Luz is about to say something about it when Eda bursts into the room with all the subtlety of a hurricane. “Look what I foooound,” she sings, proudly presenting something extremely dusty and unidentifiable. Luz and Amity raise their eyebrows in unison.

“Uh, what is it?” Luz asks.

“It’s a human-” Eda pauses. “Okay, I’ll admit, I have absolutely no idea what it is. But it’s cool looking and I like it.” “Another human treasure? Lemme see!”

“Suit yourself,” Eda says, and hands it over.

The thing is heavier than Luz expected, and she grunts as she puts it down quickly on the kitchen table.

“Dang, Owl Lady, you’ve got strong arms,” she says.

“I work out,” Eda responds, flexing her muscles.

Amity and Luz look at each other, and then at Eda. They blink.

“Fine,” Eda says. “Buzzkills. I don’t work out. You caught me, congratulations.” She stalks out of the kitchen, muttering something about “dumb kids and their dumb honesty”.

Luz snorts and turns her attention back to the thing on the counter. “Let’s see what we’ve got here,” she says, and blows the dust off. Once the cloud clears, the thing begins to take shape, and Luz squeals. “A record player! With a record on it! This is amazing! My mom has one of these back home!”

“Record player?” Amity says. “What does it do?”

Luz grins, always happy to show off her human knowledge. “I’ll show you,” she says, and sets the pin on the groove of the record. It’s silent for a moment, but then a slow tune echoes through the room. There are no words in the song, and Luz has no idea who wrote it, but she’s in awe.

“Wow,” Amity says, echoing Luz’s thoughts. “It’s beautiful.”

“Yeah,” Luz agrees, completely entranced by the melody. Once the song fades away and the next one starts, she gets an idea. She regards Amity out of the corner of her eye, gathers her courage, and says “Amity Blight, may I have this dance?”

Surprise flashes across Amity’s face, but she recovers impressively quickly.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

She reaches out her hand and Luz takes it, gently guiding Amity to the middle of the kitchen. Amity hesitantly puts her arm around Luz’s waist, pulling her closer, as Luz puts a hand on Amity’s shoulder. It feels familiar, and when they start swaying around the kitchen, Amity starts to laugh.

“What? What’s so funny? Did I do something?”

“No, no,” Amity says, tightening her hold around Luz’s waist. “It’s just...this is so different from our first dance together.”

“Our first...oh, you mean Grom!”

Amity takes a step backwards, and Luz follows, trying not to trip over her own feet.

“Yes I mean Grom!”

They dance in silence for a moment, moonlight shining through the window.

“Hey,” Luz starts, not sure if she wants the answer to the question she’s about to ask. “Who did you wanna take to Grom, anyway?”

Amity stares blankly at her for a few seconds, and for a moment Luz is worried she said something out of turn. But then she smiles softly, so softly that Luz’s heart does a funny thing in her chest, and she’s pretty sure that, for a second, she can’t breathe.

“It was you, Luz,” Amity says quietly. “It was always you.”

Luz stops dancing. She stops blinking. She stops breathing.

“Uh, Luz?” Amity says, sounding worried. “Are you okay?”

Luz blinks, comes back into herself, and says “YOU WERE GOING TO ASK ME TO GROM????”

“Yes? Why is that a surprise? You know I...like you.” Amity blushes again. They’re still not used to saying these things out loud to each other. It’s a process.

This time, Luz blushes too. “Yeah, but like..that long??? You’ve liked me since Grom???”

“Since before Grom, actually,” Amity admits, looking down at the floor. “It’s...it’s been a long time.”

Luz’s grip on Amity’s shoulder slackens, then tightens again.”Wow,” she says, breathless. “Me. You’ve liked me for months. You!!!”

Amity giggles. “Me,” she agrees.

Luz knows that the smile on her face is sappy, but she can’t help it. She just likes Amity so much it’s overwhelming sometimes.

They begin to sway again, and Luz feels like she’s in a trance. She can’t believe that one person can make her feel this happy. It’s like magic.

“So,” Amity says, cutting into Luz’s inner monologue, “When was it for you?”

“Huh?”

“When did you start to like me?”

Amity manages, with what looks like supreme willpower, not to blush this time. Luz does not manage the same.

“O-oh,” Luz says, thinking back to all the times she made a fool of herself in front of Amity before they’d started dating. “I don’t know? I mean, I realized it that time you saved my life, but I think I’ve probably liked you for a lot longer than that. Maybe even before Grom.”

“Which time?”

“What?”

“Which time? I save your life a lot,” Amity smirks. Luz rolls her eyes. “Okay, fair,” she says. “But I mean that time at your parents’ presentation. Right after you...when you called me “my Luz.”

“Oh, no, you heard that?” Amity looks extremely embarrassed as she leans forward and hides her face in Luz’s shoulder. Luz tries not to smell her hair. She fails.

“Of course I heard that!” She says when she’s done. “You practically screamed it out loud to a room full of strangers!”

“I did, didn’t I? Wow, I was so obvious!”

Luz rubs the back of her neck sheepishly. “I didn’t notice.”

“What??? How???” Amity asks, picking her head up to look Luz in the eye. “I was a complete mess in front of you for months! What did you think was happening?”

Luz shrugs. “I just thought you were cute, that’s all. In hindsight, though, maybe I should’ve picked up some context clues.”

Amity snorts. “It’s okay. You being oblivious saved me a ton of embarrassment. Until I kissed you on the cheek. That..uh….that was not planned.”

Luz can’t stop the smile that takes over her face. She remembers that day well. She was so focused on finding Phillip’s diary entries and also not making a fool of herself in front of Amity, that she was taken completely by surprise when Amity kissed her. She’s pretty sure she literally fell to the floor afterwards, overwhelmed with the fact that Amity had just kissed her and suddenly realizing that maybe, just maybe, her crush liked her too.

“Well I’m glad you did,” she says gently, twirling Amity around once, twice, three times. “I think it’s time for me to return the favor.”

“What do you-”

Before she can think about it long enough to stop herself, Luz leans in and kisses Amity on the cheek.

The world freezes.

Amity looks at her, and she looks at Amity, and Luz’s eyes are so wide, and Amity’s mouth is hanging slightly open, and suddenly Luz is completely, entirely unsure of herself. Her confidence is gone, and suddenly she can hear the ghost of laughter and “Ew, why would anyone want her?” And she realizes she’s made a horrible mistake.

“U-um sorry I-” She stutters, but can’t get a sentence out, until finally she manages “I’m gonna leave now.”

She backs up slowly until her back hits the door, and is about to turn the handle when Amity says “Luz, this is your house.”

“Drat,” Luz says, slapping a hand to her face. “You’re right.”

Amity giggles, hand covering her mouth to stifle her laughter. She’s bright red but so is Luz, and suddenly Luz is laughing too.

They laugh together for what seems like hours, until finally they manage to subdue themselves, tears in both their eyes.

“Hey,” Amity says softly, once the giggles have stopped. “Come here.”

Luz complies, stepping around the table and over Ghost, who has an unidentifiable animal in her mouth. When she finally reaches Amity, she finds herself pulled into a bone crushing hug. Startled but pleased, she squeezes back, marvelling at the fact that she has the most perfect girl in the world in her arms.

“Look,” Amity says, still wrapped up in the hug. “I know we’re both new at this, and it’s kind of scary, but you don’t have to run away every time you kiss me on the cheek or something. You have nothing to be afraid of, okay? You’re my girlfriend, and I’m not gonna stop liking you.”

Luz sniffles a little and squeezes harder. “You don’t...you don’t think I’m too much?”

“Luz,” Amity says. “I could never get enough of you.”

They stand there like that, swaying slightly in the single stripe of moonlight that comes through the window. When they part, it’s with a sigh, and a silent promise that they’ll come together again.

“Thanks,” Luz says, eyes rimmed red. “You’re a pretty awesome girlfriend.”

Amity smiles. “I know.”

Then she shrugs shyly. “And if you ever want to kiss me again...I wouldn’t be opposed.”

“Noted,” Luz says weakly. She thinks her knees might give out, actually.

When it’s time for Amity to go, Luz walks her to the door, like the gentleman she is. “Goodnight,” she says, trying to ignore Hooty loudly digesting a mouse. She doesn’t want to think about where his stomach even is.

“Goodnight,” Amity says.

They smile dumbly at each other, neither wanting to be the first one to leave. But Amity needs to get home, and the night is moving quickly, so they reluctantly part ways. Amity turns to wave at Luz when she reaches the end of the Owl House’s property, and Luz waves back, stars in her eyes and a breathless wonder at the fact that this girl, this amazing, brilliant, perfect girl, is hers.

There are many things Luz doesn’t understand.

But this, what she and Amity have, the bond she feels growing stronger and stronger every day they spend together; this she does understand.

She closes the door. She doesn’t know what tomorrow will bring, but she knows that as long as she has Amity by her side, everything will be okay.

#lumity #the owl house #writins

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wearebothdrunk · 3 years

Note

Omygod i just finished watching starwars and i kinda have an idea like maybe a jedireader? Or a jedi-like-reader where theyre in madripoor right, then they got attacked and she like "hold up let me handle it" AND SHE PULLED OUT HER LIGTHSABERS 😭😭 sam (and maybe zemo) geek out and bucky was like "i am so confused but that shits amazing"

Hi! of course!

“ A friend from work ”

pairing: Bucky x fem!reader (stark)

Word counting: 2186

Summary: You basicaly save Sam´s and Bucky´s ass in Madripoor.

warnings: nightmares

a/n: I had to do some changes to your requests to be more Marvel so i hope you like it anyway! I love the request.

Masterlist

*gif not mine*

Since your father died you have been supporting your mother Pepper and your younger sister Morgan. Pepper was not your biological mother but she always took care of you, even before she and your father started dating.

Without your dad and Nat and Steve, the Avengers seemed more lost than ever. You still helped and were Sam's backup on his missions but it wasn't the same. Your whole family had fallen apart, Thor was with the guardians of the galaxy, Clint retired, Bruce had enough with the avengers, and Wanda was taking some time for herself. You were left with Sam and Bucky. You were pretty good friends with Sam, but with Bucky...... let's just say it's complicated. You liked him for a while, but you didn't want to put your father in an uncomfortable situation, so you always put him first, even if it was very hard sometimes.

One day you were just relaxing on the couch when you looked at the tv and saw the news report saying that the criminal Zemo had escaped from prison. You immediately called Sam.

"Pick up Sam, come on-" you said.

you heard a voice on the other side " y/n? is everything okay?" you heard Sam´s voice

"No! Zemo has escaped from prison in case you haven't heard the news!"

" Really?!" he said but not very convincingly

You started to get suspicious. He seemed to already know about what was happening, but if he knew, why didn't he tell you? unless.....

"You're with him, aren't you?" you said straight out. "no, no, no, why would you think that y/n?" he was really trying to convince you

"Why did you do that Sam?! you know it's dangerous, what the hell were you thinking?"

" relax y/n. me and Bucky need him for a mission, he is just a means to an end" he finally said

"Are you with Bucky?" you asked. You missed him even if he was just a friend, he was special to you.

"Yes, but he is fine, don't worry! I have to go now! Goodbye, take care y/n"

he hung up.

Sam knew about your little crush on Bucky. He was like a best friend to you and if you couldn't count on his advice, then you wouldn't count on anyone.

Like your father you always wanted to help the Avengers in any way you could, so obviously you wouldn't be left out of this mission. In one of the upgrades you made to Sam's suit you added a tracker device in case he was kidnapped. It was the perfect time to use it! You pulled up a chair, sat down, and began tinkering with the gadgets your father had previously bought and used. You wanted him to be here with you but unfortunately, that was impossible so keeping his legacy alive was the closest you could get.

"Yes, found you!" You shouted in joy

"What city is this? Ma... Madripoor?" you asked yourself

"Well I hope it's worth it Sam Wilson because otherwise I'm gonna kick your ass"

You called Happy to get a flight for you. It was hard to convince him but you managed to convince him by saying you needed a short vacation.

* After 5 hours

You finally got to your destination, it felt like it took days to get there. Madripoor was a poor, dark and dirty city, you didn't like it there at all.

You got on your bike and headed towards the location of the suit. After about 10 minutes you arrived where Sam and Bucky were supposed to be according to your device.

"But this is just a car!" you said angrily.

Suddenly you heard gunshots and breaking glass and three unrecognizable men, at first.

"Y/N?! What the fuck are you doing here!?" Sam shouted, placing you behind a container to protect you from the bullets that were being fired at the four of you.

"Stand back!" you shouted at them, standing up.

You quickly took out the gun that was stuck inside your long leather jacket. You pointed the gun and in three seconds and without making a sound the gunshots stopped, just like magic.

"What the fuck was that? " Sam said surprised

" I am so confused but that shits amazing," bucky said with his mouth open giving a small smile.

"what are you waiting for?!! to die? get in the car now!" you shouted at them

The four of you ran quickly to the car and got in. Zemo started the car and luckily you managed to escape in time.

"what was that y/n?" sam asked

" it's just a prototype I made from a project my dad was working on before.... you know what. it works with extremely strong lasers that can demagnetize any weapon."

" That's fucking awesome!" Bucky said

you smiled. you loved being praised for your work but being praised by Bucky felt different to you.

" Well, thank you, Bucky!"

" Don't thank Bucky. I appreciate what you did back there but this is super dangerous. Your dad and Steve wouldn't approve any of this and-" you interrupted him.

"Guess what? My dad's not here! Why? Because he sacrificed his life to save the world! And Uncle Steve isn't here anymore, so stop thinking about what they would think of me!"

sam looked at you with concern. He felt obligated to protect you since your father couldn't.

For a moment the car was filled in awkward silence until Zemo decided to open his mouth.

"No one told me about a fourth member of the team. Sorry, pretty girl, but you won't be able to continue this trip with us" Zemo said.

"You are not in charge of anything, we are. If y/n hadn't appeared out of anywhere, we would be probably dead. So I advise you to keep your mouth shut and play your only role if you don't want to go to prison again" Bucky said with his eyes fixed firmly on Zemo.

Zemo swallowed.

" well, but there aren't enough beds," Zemo said in a low voice, barely audible.

" don't worry, she can sleep in my bed, I sleep on the floor," Bucky said without even blinking

You felt butterflies in your stomach. You were going to be in the same space as Bucky for more than 5 minutes, you were nervous that you would say something stupid or give him the wrong idea.

"Oh, you don't have to.

(oh yes, you do.)

" Of course I do. " Bucky looked at you with intensity as if he needed to do this.

* after 20 minutes*

"These are your rooms. All beds are already made and your bags will be taken to your respective rooms Mr. Zemo" the woman said.

"Thank you, my dear," Zemo said kissing the lady's hand

"Well, these are your rooms. I don't want anything ruined and I don't want any noise because I am very tired. Good night fellows" Zemo went directly to his room and closed the door leaving the three of you alone.

" I'm just going downstairs to see if they can get me an extra blanket," Bucky said leaving you and Sam alone. Things between you two were still a little awkward from earlier.

" y/n, I don't want us to be on bad terms. You have to understand that I care about you" Sam broke the silence

" Sam, I know and I care about you too, but you have to realize that we are almost the same age and I don't need to have a babysit."

"I know, I know. No hard feelings?"

"No hard feelings," you said shaking his hand and pulling him for a hug

"So, what's this about you sleeping in the same room as Bucky? y/n I'm watching you like a falcon" sam joked

"Relax! He's just a friend from work"

" I have the blanket here. I'm going to bed now, good night". Bucky said to you two

"oh, I'm going with you, that way I can help you make your bed. it's the least I can do since you don´t let me sleep on the floor"

You both said your goodbyes to sam and went to your room.

Bucky spread out a blanket next to the bed where you were going to stay and laid down.

"You´re not gonna even put a pillow? Take this one I have too many." you said to him

"No! I don't want a pillow" Bucky said, throwing you the pillow again.

You got up and started to make his "bed" more comfortable. "You're not going to sleep on the floor like that, Buck-" he interrupted what you were doing by grabbing your arm and looking you straight in the eye. "I don't need that y/n. I'm used to sleeping on the floor."

You looked at him shocked. "You are used to it?!"

"Yes," he said hesitantly.

"Why Bucky?" you asked.

" I don't feel comfortable enough to sleep in a fluffy comfortable bed, not after all the people I have killed and all the lives I ruined. Every night I have nightmares to remind me of that" he said as if it was something natural to him.

" Buck....... You can't feel that way. You deserve a hundred soft, comfortable beds, you deserve to have a happy life. You didn't kill those people, you didn't ruin those people's lives, HYDRA did. There are people who care about you, I care about you."

"You care about me? You said yourself that I was just a friend from work, and I understand and respect that y/n, I knew we were just that."

"That was me joking with Sam. I wish you were just a work friend, it would have saved me some heartbreaks."

" heartbreaks?" you could see by Bucky´s confused face that he had zero idea of what you were talking about.

" are you going to tell me that you never noticed that I liked you and cared differently about you?"

" NO!" he said surprised

"Okay, I understand. We can still be work friends Buck I mean it, I don't want to put you into another bad situation-" the touch of his lips against yours interrupted your speech.

"I never wanted to be just your friend from work" he sighed.

"me neither," you said kissing him again

You make out for about 5 minutes. when you finally let each other out of your arms, you got up and took the blanket that was on your bed and your pillow and put it next to Bucky. "what are you doing?" he looked confused.

"Did you really thought I was going to let you sleep alone on this cold uncomfortable floor?"

"y/n-" you interrupted him with a kiss. "Yes?" you asked. "I don't want you to sleep here on this horrible floor. you will go back to your warm comfortable bed and sleep" he said with a straight face

"Bucky, either you come with me to this warm bed or I will sleep here with you. it's your call baby"

he smiled and sighed. " you are the worst" he mumbled throwing you on the bed making you giggle. You walked over to him and grabbed his hand and kissed it.

"I promise you that you deserve all of this Buck" you whispered.

he kissed you again passionately to thank you for what you had done for him. You both laid down. You put your head on top of his chest and he put his arms on top of your back, you were finally able to sleep.

* later that night*

you began to hear a voice whispering something making you wake up.

"I HAVE TO, I HAVE TO DO THIS" Bucky sighed in the middle of sleeping.

Bucky was having a nightmare. He was sweating and he was gasping for breath.

"Buck? babe, it's just a nightmare" you whispered caressing his cheeks with the back of your fingers.

Suddenly he gets up, still heavy breathing, and sits in the bed.

" What's happening," he said in mid-breath. "You were having a nightmare babe.". You put your arms around him making him feel safe." it's okay" you said.

When he finally let go you stood up and start walking toward the door

"where are you going?" He asked with a puppy face

" don't worry, I'm just gonna get something to calm you down"

when you came back with the hot chamomile tea you had made for him, Bucky was still sitting on the bed with his hands on his head.

" here, this is going to help you. my dad always made me this when I woke up in the middle of the night"

" thank you for taking care of me," he said

" James Buchan Barnes I will be here to make sure you sleep like a baby for the rest of your life."

and he did.

#bucky fanfic #Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes imagines #bucky x reader #bucky x tony stark´s daughter #marvel imagines #marvel fluff

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heyitsyn · 4 years

Text

White Carnation

Ex!Iwaizumi Hajime x Reader

a/n: iwa-chan being your ex is so painful and numbing

huhuhu angst isnt my forte but this is an exception bc chi is my sista

anon request: ex-boyfriend/childhood friend iwaizumi would be super angsty but i have no idea what they’d fight about ,, now imagine if after being kitaichi’s manager/medic, reader becomes karasuno’s medic/temporary manager (until kiyoko got recruited),, then she couldn’t come to the seijoh practice match so she has no idea her team fought her ex,,, only to find out during inter-high and everyone’s like wtf??? that spiky haired ace is your ex?? meanwhile kageyama’s like “yall didn’t know?” — chi

ong this finna be painful

its always been the three of you

with living across the oikawas came great perks

even way before you could remember, you were always with the 2 other boys: your neighbor across your house, tooru, and his best friend who practically lived there, hajime

hajime first saw you when you were covered in dirt after you were trying to catch a butterfly for tooru at the back and oikawa pushed you out of the way into a puddle of mud when he saw a bug

iwa stared at you then immediately said ‘my name is iwaijumi hajime. i think youre really pretty’

yep thats really how it went

and poor babie didnt know how to pronounce his ‘z’s yet so it sounds like ‘j’s :(

while tooru liked you because you werent like other girls who stayed inside and played dolls instead playing outside

you played with him at his back yard with the volleyball he owned and always made him laugh and have fun

iwa liked you because you didnt shy away from bugs, instead you were braver than tooru and even helped iwa look for any beetles and caught them for him to keep as pets

they liked you because you were like them

you were like one of the bois

but that kinda hurt you in the future

as you all grew up, you started going through yanno teenager things

like you started to have crushes

specifically on your best friend, iwaizumi hajime

thankfully tooru didnt see you like that and still saw you as one of the bois and saw you as that annoying twin sister

but unfortunately, iwa did too

every time you made an effort to do something to emphasize that you were, hello, a girl, he would laugh and tease you

‘hehe i didnt think you even knew what a dress was!’

was his comment when you came over wearing a yellow sundress with flats

tooru, who you shared these secrets with, gave you a worried glance but you smiled, covering up the hurt

‘meh. my mom forgot to dry my clothes so i had to wear these old clothes’

no, they werent old

they were just bought yesterday with the intention of finally being recognized as girl and complimented

but the person it was for, couldnt even be bothered to remember that you werent just one of the boys and that you possibly wanted to be told that you were pretty or cute

your other best friend noticed your quietness and he stood up from his crouching position and placed a hand on your shoulder, making you look at him

your teary eyes made him sigh but he grinned at you

‘its really pretty, y/n-chan! you should wear it more often! pretty things deserve to be seen and complimented’

god why couldnt you have a crush on oikawa tooru instead

why did it have to be towards the boy who was too caught up with catching bugs and playing ball to ever see you differently and has never said a single praise towards you?

‘what do you think, iwa-chan? isnt she pretty?’

oikawa hinted but hajime remained his eyes on the tv as the players hit the ball, too distracted to even be bothered to look at you

‘she looks the same’

he mumbled and your nose stung and eyes watered, looking down to hide the wobbling of your lips

‘its okay, kawa-chan. can i wear your clothes for now? i dont like this dress thats why i never wore it’

oikawa tried to stop you but you were already straight up the stairs and towards his room

he angrily stomped over to iwa and slapped his arm, startling the other boy and him snarling in pain

‘what the-’

‘youre so dumb. youre so mean. i wonder where she went wrong and what she saw. seriously’

he ranted and moved to sit back on the floor but not before kicking iwaizumi, making him fall on his side

‘OI KUSOKA-’

‘so whos winning?’

your voice interrupted iwa’s mid-scream and he looked up from the floor to see you wearing an alien hoodie and a pair of basketball shorts that were a little too loose so they drooped by your knees

your originally curled and elegantly braided hair was now pulled up into a bun by a scrunchie that you left around the house from years ago

there was a bit of redness around your eyes and iwa scrambled up to check if you were okay since your face looked swollen

‘oi, did you eat something weird? your face is all red so youre probably having a reaction’

he fretted and you watched as his hands glided across your face and held you by the shoulders to take a closer look

‘yea, a reaction from a bad reaction’

thankfully iwa was too busy checking to hear oikawa snarkily whisper and you sent him a glare that made him quiet down

‘haji-kun, im fine’

you dismissed and side stepped to go sit next to oikawa, completely brushing him off

now iwa was confused

you would usually smile up at him, say ‘aw~ are you worried about me, haji-kun?’ then skip over

not frown and act so coldly

‘oi, y/n, what-’

‘lets go to the bakery! theres a sale going on there!’

oikawa shouted which made you jolt in surprise

he knew of his best friend’s beginning interrogation but he knew you were too upset to be bothered by hajime’s questions

‘they have a buy one get one sale on milk bread! and those-those treats you like! theyre on sale too!’

omg oikawa is a real one 🥺

oikawa blinked harshly at you to go along with the act and you stuttered and nodded

‘uh-eung! yea!’

that was probably the moment that iwaizumi started noticing

except he thought it was a pining between his best friends rather than you towards him

ofc iwa was a loyal friend

he thought that you and oikawa were two people who were crushing on each other yet too afraid to say anything

tbh he shouldve seen this coming because duh you were an incredibly pretty girl and oikawa was the handsomest guy in the whole area!

it was almost,,, natural for you both to gravitate towards each other

maybe thats why,,,

he started to distance himself to give you both the space and want without him in between

maybe thats why,,,

he started to feel these feelings of,, jealousy?? like he started to feel a little scared and honestly he wasnt sure who to be jealous of bc he knew once you started dating, you’d both be too busy to hang out with him

maybe thats why,,,

he was no longer your friend

iwaizumi hajime became a simple stranger you would just pass by in the hall

it happened around the 2nd year of middle school

you and oikawa were still close friends but you have drifted away into not being as close while you and iwaizumi became,,,, distant

basically strangers

the boy you used to dream about when you were 8 and dreamt of marrying once you were old enough

he was no longer him

before, you and iwa were actually really close without oikawa

like you would hang out when oikawa was too busy with takeru

you both would go to the arcade and play games with no fear of oikawa whining and complaining to take turns

you had a lot of fun together and yet, all of a sudden, everything stopped

because iwa knew how,,, possessive oikawa was

he thought that if he were to continue being friends with you, he would risk losing his best friend out of jealousy or misunderstandings and he didnt want that precious bond to be ruined by a girl

even if that girl,,,

was you

thats why it was so awkward when you came over to oikawa’s house after so long and seeing him there, eating breakfast in the kitchen

your best friend didnt want to tell you that iwa spent the night bc quite frankly, oikawa was already fed up with this

you think he didnt know?

you think he didnt know that iwa distanced himself due to an unknown misunderstanding?

you think he didnt know that you also distanced yourself due to being hurt as he casted you aside?

and oikawa was also worried

he didnt want to ever bring up your name with iwa bc to be honest, he didnt think iwa even liked you all that much

he thought that iwa only tolerated you for so long bc you were the only girl who wasnt in love with oikawa and knew you long enough to be comfortable w you

but babie oiks is misunderstood that :(

he didnt want to ever bring up his name with you bc he knew how sensitive it was for you and how sad and pained you were when he suddenly stopped even replying to your texts

one time when you cornered him, he looked angry and gently pushed you back and quickly walked away

no he was scared that oikawa could see you both and misunderstand

‘just,,, stay away from me, okay? its better this way’

god you wanted to scream at him and shout at him and punch him but he kept silent and refused to answer your questions and refused to acknowledge your existence

you were so confused and you were just so hurt and eventually, you became indifferent to him and treated him the same way

anyways

you stepped into the house, not even bothering to shout your arrival and quickly wandered through the hallway before turning the corner to go to the kitchen

but you stopped, seeing the familiar hair with olive eyes eating breakfast on the kitchen island, also stopping with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth at the sight of you

your gazes clashed and you blinked before your lips formed into a thin line, turning and going to the fridge and look for food

iwa wasnt surprised

he figured you were both getting closer to dating and you were already basically living in his house

it all makes sense

BRUH THEYVE BEEN FRIENDS SINCE THEY WERE LTR BORN LIKE BLS THEYRE JUST SIBLINGS

MAKE IT MAKE SENSE

‘h-how are you’

he mumbled, trying to fix the awkward silence while cursing inside of how long oikawa was taking to shit

you hummed, taking a water bottle and slamming the fridge door shut, harder than necessary

‘oh, now you see me?’

you really didnt mean for it to be a snarky comment but it came out before you even realized what you said

he winced

‘listen, im-’

‘oh? youre here, y/n-chan!’

oikawa’s voice cut him off and he returned back to his bowl of rice, leaving you standing there furrowing your brows

you shrugged, already knowing that hajime was like this, so you turned to look at oikawa with a wrinkled nose at the sound of the toilet flushing

‘tooru, did you drink straight milk again? you know how it makes your stomach upset’

you chided and tooru turned red at the implication of his dookie

‘o-oi! y/n-chan! of course id know if i was lactose intolerant!’

i just think how funny it would be like the irony of his love for milk bread yet being lactose intolerant at the same time

he huffed and you nodded but not exactly believing him

‘kay kay’

you teased and walked to the living room but oikawa caught you in a headlock and he ruffled your hair while you complained and whined to let you go

you were giggling as tooru was giving you noogies, feeling the tension leave your body

all while iwa was watching

maybe it was because he stopped hanging out with you and havent seen you like this for almost a year

so carefree and so happy as you scored higher than him at the hoop game and he would begrudgingly let you hug him when he managed to win you a doll from the claw machine

but yea he definitely forgot your smile

he forgot how it looked like bc the last time you met gazes, you sent him a hurt glance and looked away and he knew he deserved that

god he hated it

but no, he was doing this for tooru

he was doing this because his best friend liked someone who actually deserved him

but dear god why did it hurt

iwa was starting to wonder if he made the right choice

he could easily handle you two dating

right?

maybe that was when iwa started to realize,,, he was starting to feel different towards you

the time apart definitely made him remember why he was friends with you

you weren’t like those girls he saw in tv or outside with the frilly clothes and the makeup and the fancy hair

no that wasnt you

you were different

you were too lazy to even pick out a cute outfit, opting for comfort with one of their sweatshirts and sweatpants

you preferred to chase after butterflies rather than sitting inside bc hajime’s adventurous spirit latched itself on to you too

you would usually climb the tree to get the volleyball that got stuck up in the branches bc tooru was too scared of heights and you wanted to prove your strength and capability

god you were so different

what if you liked him instead?

iwa startled himself with that thought in the middle of eating and caused him to choke on his rice

tooru noticed him coughing violently so he grabbed the water bottle from your hand and threw it straight towards the boy

iwa snapped the cap open,not caring where that water came from, and chugged it down before sighing in relief after the quite scary situation

you then realized what happened and you turned red, speedwalking into the living room

oiks totally didnt do that on purpose and he was doing the lenny face at you before switching masks and wearing a worried one for iwa

‘iwa-chan! you need to slow down!’

he chided and iwaizumi yelled at him to be quiet, completely clueless to the fact that he just shared an indirect kiss with you

but you did and lordie did you hate it

from then on,,,

iwa was just seeing you everywhere

iwa saw you from his classroom when you would go hang out with your new friends outside

he noticed you not even being too loud, only speaking up when asked while the others opted to continue talking about nonsense you probably gave no care about with how you secretly rolled your eyes

those moments made him laugh

the next time you both ran into each other was during his morning practice

oikawa phoned you in the morning while you were getting ready, saying he accidentally left his knee pads at home and he was already at school but you werent so he wanted you to bring them to him

you knew damn well that iwaizumi hajime would be there but you didnt care because youre not even friends anymore after he just dropped you like that

YES SISTER WE DESERVE BETTER

so thats why you found yourself pushing the metal gym door open at 6 in the morning and shouting oikawa’s name

his eyes brightened at your voice and he dropped the ball to run towards you by the door

‘oh my god thank you so much, y/n-chan!’

he shouted and hugged you out of excitement while you cringed and hit him to get off of you

‘ew dont touch me trashykawa’

you mumbled and he whined, finally stepping away with a pout

iwa was watching you both from the side and he blinked, wondering if you were trying a new hairstyle

if not, then you changed something bc currently, you practically glowing to him

he watched you scold oikawa for being forgetful and him begging for forgiveness but also thanking you before he was scoldede again by the coach

but the coach was relieved that he could finally play with the proper equipment and not risk anymore injuries

oikawa was already bidding you good bye and you were about to turn to leave when you finally met the many gazes of iwaizumi hajime

your eyebrows unconsciously furrowed together and your lips turned to a frown then you sharply turned and walked through the doors

unbeknownst to him, oikawa watched as his best friend’s face turned hurt at your expression and remained staring at the door you just went out of even when you were already gone

‘iwa-chan, lets get to practice’

after that

iwa has concluded god has decided to be mean to him

bc who was giving him these weird heart attacks and tummy aches at the simple sight of you?

literally he ignored you for a good time yet now hes noticing you again?

what kinda unfairness-

but you proved to accept his previous behavior by not even giving him a single glance anymore

that made him sad so iwa would sometimes stop doing what hes doing so he could freely stare at you laugh at something a classmate said during class

thats totally not creepy iwa lol

he doesnt even know hes doing it sometimes bc hes so absorbed on trying to figure out the answers of his questions

but the worst was when he got caught

you sat at the very front and oikawa and iwa sat at the back

it was lunchtime and you were eating with a few girls and a guy from another class and yall were laughing and talking together

iwa had oikawa and these other guys makki and matsukawa from the class next door to eat lunch with

can i please just dream that our third year seijoh boys were actually friends since the very beginning like pls and thanks

oikawa was rambling about how some girl giving him cookies the other day when he noticed iwa not listening but staring at you while moving his chopsticks around

poor iwa-chan was confused as to how even with messy hair, you still looked beautiful?

like no matter what angle or how you turned, the light always seemed to hit you perfectly to accent out your features

how was that possible?

‘-and she just-iwa-chan? iwaizumi?’

he called out and said boy jolted, eyes widening at the confused, bored, and knowing eyes

‘hm?’

‘oh? were you looking at y/n-chan?’

oikawa teased and the gojira fanboy waved his hands around to deny that statement

but makki chuckled and leaned in

‘hm, wouldnt blame ya. shes really pretty you know? some guy in our class saw the girls ranking and shes in the top 5′

okay iwa was angry

was it because everyone else noticed how pretty you are?

was it because you were part of this list?

was it because his own friend said you were pretty?

why did he even care anyways?!

oikawa smirked at the clenched fist under the table and decided to poke fun even more

‘oh really? well, it doesnt really matter because its always the girl’s decision right? but most of the time, their choice is utter trash’

the meme duo shared a confused look

‘hah? what are you going on about, oikawa’

oikawa internally apologized to you after what hes about to do because hes so tired and exhausted of having to be so careful and walking on eggshells between you two

so he did an oikawa move

‘yanno how y/n-chan and i have been friends since we were little ducklings right? so ages ago, like ages ago, little y/n-chan had a crush on this brute bc for some reason she thought he was brave or something and apparently thats appealing to girls rather than the nice and gentlemanly type. but of course, yanno how this goes, he pooped up and now hes stuck on doing this weird stalking staring thing. right, iwa-chan~?’

okay im sorry i take it back oikawa is a bitch

iwa shook

you,,, had a what on who?!

a crush on him?!

is he the brute?!

so it wasnt oikawa?

it was to him?

then why did you act like that?

why did you both act like that?

‘what’

iwaizumi mumbled and he met oikawa’s pointed gaze

‘hmm,,,, you dont have to worry about it anymore though since theyre not even friends anymore. but listen to me and listen well, makki, mattsun, if you hurt a girl even once, theyre never going to forget it. my sister said that apparently theres this little voice in their head that tells them that theyre going to get hurt again and thats where their trust issues begin to develop and--IWA-CHAN WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!’

iwa was already out of his seat and straight walking towards you and your group before stopping beside your chair

your friends quieted down at the sight of the known boy and you blinked then turned your head to see him, your eyes instantly turning dark and looking away immediately

‘what the hell do you want’

you hissed and natsu almost choked on his rice ball if it wasnt for another girl patting his back

‘it was me, right? all along, not oikawa, but me?’

his meek voice made you look up in confusion

‘what are you talking-’

‘you chose me instead him’

then it was like a click that you realized what he said

‘how did you know’

‘i-i’

he stuttered but was cut off when the teacher finally arrived to announce the end of lunch and iwa was forced to go back to his seat

the whole class time, you would sneak glances back and iwa would be staring at his paper while oikawa would wink at you and give you smirks

OH GOD HE TOLD HIM

after class you stomped up to the brunette haired boy

‘how could you?! why did you tell-’

‘lets talk, y/n? please?’

iwa was holding your arm and you glared at him before turning away and walking away

oikawa patted him on the shoulder in good luck and whispered,

‘get your girl’

the rooftop ledge looked really delicious right now

no words were exchanged so you were both just silent with you staring at him while he was looking off to the side

‘so what? now you know and so what do you want?’

you spoke first and iwa guiltily met your eyes

‘everything was,,, a mess. i misunderstood and i didnt communicate and i,,, messed up’

he mumbled the last part but you caught it perfectly causing you to scoff

‘damn right you did. so now you know and then youre going to do the cliche thing they do in those dramas where you magically profess your love for me and-’

‘hey y/n lets date’

you froze and looked at him shocked with wide eyes and jaw dropped

‘excuse me? who are you to say that?!’

you shrieked

‘first you think i have some big crush on tooru and this caused you to basically drop me like a damn pencil and second youre asking me to date you? iwaizumi hajime i thought you were always the smarter one. what the hell are you spouting you damn imbecile-’

iwa did the only thing he thought of

he quickly leaned forward and pecked your lips

he saw some guy do it in a telenovela that his mom watched a week ago and that was how the girl got silent so iwa thought it would be smart to shut you up that way

and it worked

bc you were so conflicted: angry, confused, sad, happy

you was the whole range of emotions in one second

‘i was stupid. and i was dumb. i wanted to give you and shittykawa space because i thought he liked you and he would be mad and misunderstand if we continued hanging out without him. but you shouldve told me you liked me, baka. maybe i wouldve come to like you back’

iwa rambled but your eyes watered and you huffed, slapping him across the face but pulled his collar to kiss him again

tbh iwa was shook bc he got 2 kisses in a row today and hes never been kissed before and its from this really pretty girl

‘how dare you kiss me and still not like me’

you seethed when you pulled away

but iwa held your hands

‘im starting to come to. give me time and i’ll accept your confession’

and give him time you did bc you finally were able to try and mend that friendship again and soon, you were already starting to fall back in love with him

but iwa also

during the end of your 2nd year, iwa nervously tugged you to the rooftop and you smirked

‘what? you gonna profess your love for me haji-kun?’

you teased and expected him to laugh and smack you gently but he didnt

he turned red and he looked down at his shoes as he magically produced a flower out of nowhere

‘please accept me, y/n!’

he shouted while holding out the single white carnation

your eyebrows scrunched and you grabbed the flower from his hands before punching him weakly

‘stupid! stupid haji-kun! i already accepted you! since we were five! how could you not see my feelings’

you whimpered, trying to hide the blush on your face but he smothered you to a hug, making you both topple over in the process

you had the cliched term of ‘summer love’

of course you still hung out with tooru but you both would hang out other days just you both

like you and iwa liked going over to some old playground by your house and you both would watch the sky on top of the slide assembly while talking about stupid stuff and the future

‘haji-kun, do you know what you want to be when youre old?’

you asked and he turned his head to look at you but you were focused on the stars

‘gojira’

he simply replied and you giggled, reaching over to hit his chest

‘baka. you cant be gojira-san’

iwa found himself giggling with you before he reached down to softly interwine your fingers and hold them up to look at them

‘hm, i dont really know. maybe a volleyball player. or someone in the volleyball team, i dont know’

you hummed, knowing him and tooru’s shared love for the sport

‘i wanna be a doctor. i want to save lives and help people and make money too! my mothers friend offered to intern me but apparently im still too young’

you pouted

iwa listened to you but then a lightbulb rang in his head

‘oi, y/n’

he started and you looked at him

‘you can be our manager. or medic. or doctor person. that bastard is going to push himself even harder because naoki-senpai gave him that damn position and he might kill himself trying to beat that farmer dude. besides, shittykawa is going to be the captain next year and i’ll be vice so youd easily get it anyways. so you in?’

you blinked at him before breaking out to a smile

‘eung! i wanna see my baby play what he loves!’

iwa’s face contorted to disgust

‘bABy?! iM nOt a BABY! im A mAn!! mAN!!’

‘mhm, okay. my mans, haji bara arms is my mans’

your relationship is very balanced with the perfect ratio of crackhead and seriousness and understanding bc as we ALL KNOW EVERYTHING STARTED W A MISUNDERSTANDING

like if he accidentally said something that hurt your feelings like that dress incident from years ago btw you brought it up to him and told him you were practically traumatized by that and he kept on apologizing and appearing at your doorstep with a white carnation in apology you would gently tell him bc communication is K E Y and he would tell you sorry and you guys would understand and make up

you guys were so lovey dovey that ltr oikawa would fake gag and throw up to the side when he catches you guys even doing things like holding hands

like bls he sees that flesh to flesh contact and he wretches his breakfast

‘ew, its the settling down for me’

‘its the flatness of the ass for me’

you stuck your tongue out while he pouted and iwa looked so proud like oml

you guys were still at the honeymoon phase where everything was peaches and rainbows and it continued until your 3rd year

as mentioned above, iwa basically gave you the managerial position

like yall were walking to school during the first day talking about how worried yall were at passing your classes when suddenly he was all like ‘ill see you in the gym later?’

you smiled and blinked confusingly

‘hm? you want a cheerleader there, baby?’

he flushed red at the nickname and furrowed his eyebrows

‘baka, stop calling me that’

you giggled and dodged his gentle smack but he grabbed your hand and pulled you close to his chest

‘i thought we already agreed that you would be our medic slash manager? i mean, it could give you experience for the future right?’

you rested your chin on his front to look up at him and your face held a teasing smirk

‘hmmm~~~ haji-kun just admit it. you want me to be there to cheer you on~’

you teased and nuzzled your cheek on him

iwa scoffed but he couldnt help a soft smile appearing

‘i mean-yea, but its for the future so ill help you every way i can’

‘oya? the future? will you marry me in the future, haji-kun?’

‘MARRY?! HOW DID YOU GET MARRY OUT OF THAT, BRAT’

‘AAWWWWW DONT BE SUCH A TSUNTSUN HAJI-KU-ACKDKJFSLKJNOT THE HAIR!!!’

sure enough you were at the gym after school

the coaches knew you werent a fangirl of oikawa bc hes seen you since the very beginning and oikawa clears you are actually a sister to him and you were fit for the job

ofc hes captain and someone as good as oikawa was going to get what he wants

the gym was full of newbies and recruits hoping to get into the powerhouse team and your eyes scanned to find those ridiculously pretty olive eyes that belonged to your beloved-

‘HAJI-KUN~~!!!’

you waved and shouted loudly, gaining his and everyone else’s attention as well

the underclassmen cooed and awed at you bc their senpai who was famous for being really pretty was in the building

‘waaaa its l/n-senpai’

‘shes so pretty’

‘oMG shes righT iN FroNT oF me!!’

yea you get the gist

the poor ‘haji-kun’ was shrinking under the attention and was growling at oikawa’s teasing look but he begrudgingly held his arms out for you to run into them and snuggle into him

‘hmmm i missed you, haji-kun. im really sad we’re in different classes this year. but then again! i can be here with you!’

you pouted and he ruffled your hair affectionately

‘why else do you think i offered it brat’

oikawa rolled his eyes and gagged before taking your arm to the coach so he could sort you out

‘honestly! not in front of the children, okay?!’

but everything was quickly resolved and you were finally officially their manager/medic

you did managerial duties and you were the go-to when someone falls harshly or gets hurt in any way

in between homework, school, reading medical books, and practice, you and iwa havent spent a lot of time together and tbh that was quite straining your relationship??

like it was something that you saw coming and you both even had a talk about it but you still feel like you didnt prepare enough when it did come

one day, it was monday and there was no practice so you and iwa were walking home together

he squeezed your hand occassionally and you would sing and hum while walking

and omg his heart would balloon up when you would smile up at him and giggle when you would catch him staring

he honestly thought youd both hang out and just lay on the couch, snuggle, yanno the routine

but once you pulled out your textbooks, notebooks, and pens, he was confused

like he even held your hands and stopped you from pulling anything else out

‘y/n? i thought we were,, watching a movie or something?’

you blinked and shook your head

‘i need to study for a test and i still need to memorize how to treat a sprain, haji-kun. there’s more important things to do right now. maybe later?’

more important things?!

more important than showering you with love?

more important than even spending a second with him?

now, dont get him wrong, iwaizumi hajime was by no means a clingy and possessive boyfriend

he understood the boundaries and he understood the priorities

but dear god its been WEEKS since he even hung out w you since your entire schedule seemed to throw him out of loop and acted as if he didnt exist

and now, he was aggrivated and irritated and he wanted nothing but to just cuddle his girlfriend

you noticed his huff and pout but he remained silent

you quirked an eyebrow and placed your pen down

‘haji? whats wrong?’

his eyes snapped to you and you knew now he was angry

‘oh? were you able to spare a few seconds for dear old me?’

you were taken aback and you knew there was a fight brewing so you hid your growing irritation and calmly put your things aside

‘hajime, what are you on about?’

you pried and he looked shocked, almost offended

‘what am i on about? what am i on about? y/n, do you know the last time i even came over? the last time i held you and just talked?’

his voice got louder by every word and you quickly stood up

‘dont you dare raise your voice at me, hajime. if we have a problem, we talked over it calmly. we dont yell or shout, nothing gets resolved. we talked about this’

but he scoffed

‘talked? when was that? when did we actually just talk? hm? because I sure as hell dont remember it’

youve only seen hajime angry once and it was when you lied to him to go spend time with oikawa

okay in your defense, oikawa was having a panic attack and he begged you not to tell iwa because he didnt want to be scolded by iwa even though you kept telling him that iwa wasnt like that

and theres a reason as to why its only been a one-time thing because iwa was known to have patience that was as long as the damn nile river

except for oikawa bc it seems oikawa just cuts that patience by a million

and when he finally snaps, its when he couldnt take it anymore and he finally gets loose

when iwaizumi hajime was angry, you really done it

you didnt really know how you handled that anger so you were at a loss and you were feeling conflicted and pained at the way he looked at you

‘h-hajime,,,’

you started and he looked at you expectantly

‘well? when did we last actually talk outside the school premises y/n?’

there was that inner witty voice of yours that wanted to say ‘right now?’ but you held it in bc he was completely serious

‘hajime, please understand. i-i dont want to let anyone down! my grades! the team! i-’

‘but what about me, y/n?’

he tiredly asked

‘do those things-those people- matter more than me? and i really really dont want to ask that but im so so confused y/n’

despite sounding manipulative, you knew iwa was feeling defeated and he couldnt help but ask those questions and sound so desperate

so you scrambled to sit next to him on the couch and held him against you

‘of course you matter to me-haji you mean everything to me, you understand? god, if an adult hears me theyd think im crazy but i love you, hajime. i love you and im so sorry if i ever made you feel that way because i really didnt mean to, okay? im so sorry’

you sobbed and he turned to fully envelop you into his arms and he sighed contently, remembering how good it felt to have you right there

‘no, im sorry, doll. i was being clingy and i didnt mean to lash out, i-’

you slightly let go and cupped his face

‘nonono you were perfectly valid. what you felt was perfectly reasonable. i havent been a good girlfriend lately, huh?’

you sadly smiled but he kissed you, holding you even closer

‘youre always a good one to me. always. just with a not good schedule but we can fix that, right?’

SORRY I REALLY DONT KNOW HOW TO WRITE A FIGHTING SCENE BC ITS ANGSTY AND I DONT DO WELL WITH ANGST BC IT MAKES ME CRY 😭

tbh that was really your only big fight

even when you guys graduated middle school, you both were still quite happy and you both worked hard to make time for each other

HOWEVER

when high school arrived, you both had chosen an extremely hard decision

you chose to go to karasuno while oikawa and iwa went to seijoh

which was a,,,, hard and difficult decision

in fact, you both didnt have a fight per se, just a disagreement that ended in like 30 minutes lmao

tbh its so scary and concerning of how rarely you both have bad times and how quickly it gets resolved

BUT THEN AGAIN THIS IS AN ANGST REQUEST SO ILL OF COURSE BRING IN THE SADNESS

you were busy with karasuno and you were actually taking college courses since you wanted to have a good record if you ever wanted to get into a medical field

that meant you had a lot of homework and most of your time was spent with schoolwork or interning for that family friend mentioned earlier

and you were also a manager for the volleyball team bc karasuno is a butt and they require you to have an after school club

so that meant,,,

no time for iwa

and fate just so happens to hate you bc the days you did have off, he would be busy with volleyball and he wouldnt be able to spend time with you

even weekends were like that

eventually, you both went for 2 months with no contact, just a few text messages and calls

and that strained your former strong relationship

and you knew that iwa was getting angry again with how he even typed his responses

‘want me to bring over snacks for the team?’

‘its okay. wouldnt want you to waste time or anything’

like that type of bull

you were getting increasingly worried because you havent had a good proper time to talk to him about it and you didnt want to fight over the phone

your best friend, kiyoko, noticed your anxious ticks and she snapped you out of your current daydream

‘hey? y/n? you okay?’

she gently asked and you blinked before nodding

‘mhm. just,,, thinking’

but she didnt buy that lie because you went back to chewing your lips and eyes even watering

‘i can revise your notes for you, y/n. and the team isnt doing anything big so i can handle it. you just go see him after school bc i cant handle you being sad anymore’

kiyoko gently smiled and you almost cried bc finally! you were able to clear your schedule enough to go visit your boyfriend

at the end of the school day, you bolted out of there and you were running and huffing all the way to seijoh bc you really wanted to talk to him as soon as possible

the gym was clear in view and you smiled, looking forward to seeing your beloved boy, when you saw him and oikawa being surrounded by girls

now keep in mind, youve suffered through middle school with oikawa and you were his best friend and has known him since you were a toddler

so you know of his looks and the attraction it brought him from all the females

so that didnt really bother you

but what bothered you was the horde of girls that stuck on to your boyfriend and he didnt even look bothered

just,,, blank

not even pushing away or feeding into their actions

just,,, standing there

‘haji?’

you called out and as if he had a built-in sensor for you, his ears twitched and he swiveled to look at you

‘y/n’

he breathed out and you smiled gently

iwa quickly moved away from the girls and he grabbed your hand so you both could go somewhere else to talk privately

the back of the gym was quiet and you leaned against the wall, iwa joining you shortly

‘how-how are you?’

you asked and he scoffed, totally surprising you

‘is this how we are y/n? asking each other questions as if we’re friends who are meeting for the first time in a while? wait--actually we are arent we?’

you grimaced and looked to the side, knowing he starts his stages of anger with being passive aggressive

‘haji,, please understand’

you pleaded and swiveled to stand in front of him

iwa didnt meet your eyes, instead shoving his hands in his pants pockets and eyes trained to his shoes as he kicked rocks

‘y/n, ive been trying,, for months ive been understanding. please dont ask me to understand anymore’

he snipped and you sniffed

‘im doing this because-because my grades are starting to matter! my future is resting on these years! i have to-’

‘dont you think i know that?!’

he cut you off harshly

your eyes were shaking at his attempt to calm himself down and his trembling hands

‘dont you think i know that you are doing this for that? because ive known you since i was five y/n and i know you would push everything-everyone- else aside to reach a damn goal of yours. no matter the cost, as long as you get it, right? well youve always been like that and somehow i still accepted that yet years later here we are’

iwa waved his arms around to accentuate his point and hurt was bubbling inside your chest at a subtle jab at your flaw

‘well im sorry mr. volleyball ace player! im not talented in any area so i have to depend on my studies to get me a future! so fck me for trying to survive and create a life for us!’

‘us?! how is this for us?! y/n we cant even last a single year being apart and youre already thinking ahead of the future?!’

‘im doing this for you! for us! just wait hajime! we will be happy-’

‘I DONT CARE IF ITS FOR THE FCKING FUTURE! I WANT TO BE HAPPY WITH YOU RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW! AND WHY DOES THE FCKING FUTURE MATTER SO DAMN MUCH WHEN WE CANT EVEN-’

‘BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO BE WITH YOU!’

you shrieked

‘HOW CAN YOU LOVE ME IF YOURE NOT LOVING ME?!’

he huffed and harshly wiped away tears that fell

your lips trembled, hands shakingly reaching out to grasp his arms

‘ha-hajime,, don-’

‘should we break up?’

was he asking you this right now?

seriously?

‘what?’

you whispered and he finally looked up to let you see his pained eyes

‘y/n do you know what day it was yesterday?’

he asked and you blinked, looking everywhere as you tried to remember any important events

‘t-tuesday?’

that seemed to snap his patience

with an angry grunt, he turned to punch the wall and crouch to hide his face in his hands

‘damn it, y/n’

he whimpered and your heart broke as you could hear his cries

then it clicked

anniversary

it was your 2nd anniversary

and you completely missed it

completely forgotten

you shrunk back and let out a cry before placing a hand over your mouth to muffle your cries

‘ha-haji-’

you sniffled and you tried to go closer to him but he wiped his eyes and stood back up

‘y/n lets break up’

iwa requested with a cracked smile

your eyes widened and you ran to his chest, wrapping your arms around him as if you let go, he would disappear

‘haji, we can talk about this! we cant-please dont do this-i can fix this-’

‘we will only hurt ourselves even more if we continue this. i dont want us to hurt anymore y/n. so please, for once, listen to me’

your heart shattering cries filled your space and he didnt think it was this hard until he finally said it

it was a decision that he has been hanging around for a while and even consulted oikawa about it

‘iwa-chan, if you love y/n so much, its best to let her go. dont make you both suffer anymore’

‘i cant-hajime youre it for me-please dont leave-’

you hiccuped and continued to sob

but iwa remained a pillar and squeezed you tightly against him

‘darling i believe we were meant to be. but we just did it all wrong. when the time is right, lets start over again’

he whispered, finally breaking down with you in his arms

-------

iwaizumi hajime became a taboo word for you

even with oikawa, he swore and vowed to never say either of your names and made sure that you would not be around the area when iwa would come over

like even when he knew iwa would just stay inside, he would be constantly on the lookout to make sure you both didnt see each other

the last time was when you both saw each other in the morning as you exited your house to walk to school

it must’ve been a few months after the breakup and even oikawa felt the raw pain hovering in the air

it was suffocating and oikawa had to motion you to walk because if you both stayed even a second, someone-or both- would start crying

you continued like that for years until you reached your third year

you continued being part of the volleyball team as the medic while kiyoko was the manager

the new recruits were causing up a storm and you were particularly fond of your kita kouhai kageyama tobio

‘kageyama? kageyama tobio?’

you asked once you caught sight of the familiar looking blueberry

he looked up and recognized you as his former manager

‘l/n-senpai!’

he shouted and you ran up to give the boy a hug

‘gosh! youre so tall now! i remembered when you were wee tall!’

you teased and ruffled his hair

‘uh-you know him, y/n?’

suga asked and you nodded

‘eung! we went to the same middle school and i was a manager there’

‘she was friends with iwa-’

ope

something flashed in your eyes

kiyoko knew that name bc of how you were so depressed about it for 2 years and she started shouting random nonsense, scaring the 2nd and first years

‘y/n! we got new medical tape!’

she sang out and you perked up

‘finally?! we dont have to use duct tape anymore?!’

you excitedly ran over and everyone was both shook that kiyoko was loud and two, you were actually excited over medical tape

kageyama shrugged and continued on training

he kinda figured something happened so he never said anything or asked you anything in fear of upsetting you

and when it was announced that you were going to a practice match with seijoh, kiyoko actually told you she would cover it to make sure you dont see him there

‘its fine, y/n, i got you’

but ofc, you couldnt skip inter high

ltr an event when anyone in the team could get injured so you forced yourself to just ignore it and go

you did a good job of hiding whenever he was in view until the time they actually faced each other

you were walking alongside kiyoko and settling some things down at the bench when you felt his stare

you grimaced at his intense stare and the entire team mistakenly took it as him being interested in you

‘HAH?! LOOK AWAY YOU BEANSPROUT!’

noya growled

‘YEA! DONT LOOK!’

ofc hinata echoed

the 3 seijoh third years exchanged looks of unease when iwa sighed and looked away

‘oi! dont do that, boke!’

kageyama chided and hit the orange boy with a water bottle at the head

hinata whined and glared at him

‘that porcupine was looking at l/n-senpai! he wants to steal her!’

‘boke-’

‘doesnt matter anyways. we broke up ages ago’

you tried to say it jokingly but they couldnt miss the crack in your voice

‘hah?! he broke up with you?! you?! goddess l/n-san?!’

tanaka raged and noya had his own face of shock

the famous seijoh ace dated you?!

this handsome bara arms muscle buff man had the priviledge to date you and yet broke up with you?!

‘yall didnt know that?’

kageyama questioned and everyone glared at him

‘how do you know’

‘i just did. i didnt want to say anything for this same reason that you guys didnt know and she wouldnt want her business out there’

he simply replied and continued filing his nails

you looked up and smiled

‘it doesnt matter anymore. it was years ago so its fine’

‘L/N-SAN WE WILL AVENGE YOU!’

‘WE WILL! WE WILL!!’

the three stooges swore and you smiled softly, ruffling each boy’s hair

‘then go out there and make me proud’

but we know how this goes

they lost and you were so devastated for the others and you dropped your bag to go and comfort a crying hinata

‘sshh, dont cry dont cry. im right here’

you cooed and he accepted your embrace, hugging you tightly

once he finally calmed down, you were able to get him to a good enough condition to walk to the bus to go home

you went back to get your bag when you found something on top of it

a single white carnation

and a small ripped piece of paper that said,

‘my name is iwaizumi hajime. i think youre really pretty’

a/n: iknowiknowiknow i died but im not back to life and this request was lowkey difficult and i dont think i did a good job w it because angst always gets too angsty for me but i couldnt resist giving this a sad ending like bls!!! and uwu im still working on that oikawa route bc ya girl cant decide how angsty she wants it to beeee and i have like 4 different versions of the route in my drafts hehehe,,,, but i hope yall liked this and uwu ive never been in a serious relationship before so i wouldnt know what to fight about and came up with this:(

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