#me romanticising my tired eyes

[scribblersobia]

My dark circles are darker than the mysteries of night.

@scribblersobia

[jaywonjuice]

📄🖇️ — bf!jake making sure you eat; taking care of you

pairing bf!jake x gn reader

genre non idol/student au, angst, fluff, drabble

requests: [here] & [here]; prompt #2 comforting you when you’re crying; #18 them making sure you eat.

WARNING tw! disordered eating!! we do NOT romanticise EDs over here please n thank you but pls pls pls skip on this one if you think you might find it triggering <3; sfw intimacy, kissing

wc 595

as you surveyed the sea of notes and past papers that were spread out in front of you over your unmade bed, your heart sank in your chest.

still so far to go.

rubbing your temples in a bid to ease your rising headache, there came a knock at your dorm door.

‘come in,’ your voice trembled a little involuntarily.

you watched as jake let himself in, closing the door gently behind him before turning to face you.

god he was a sight for sore eyes.

he looked like a dream just stood there in front of you in his sweatshirt and jeans, hair a dark ruffled mess, his eyes… full of concern.

you watched as he took in your appearance; you had dark circles under your eyes, your face was grey. you’d done your best to hide your weak frame in one of his oversized hoodies, but by the look on his face you could tell it hadn’t worked.

‘baby, i’m worried about you,’ he said softly. ‘your flatmates say you’ve hardly left your room all week,’ he pushed some papers aside and sat down next to you on the bed. as you looked up at him to meet his gaze, you could just feel how tired your eyes must look to him right now. you thought you might cry when you saw his face so full of worry as he watched you, soft brown eyes not leaving your face for even a moment.

‘you’re not eating again, aren’t you?’

the question fell over you like a wave; you hadn’t prepared yourself for him to be so straightforward with you. all of a sudden you couldn’t hold it in any longer, and hot tears came rushing down your cheeks. alarmed, jake pulled you into him and wrapped his arms round you tightly. as you buried you face into his chest, breathing in his comforting scent, wracking sobs took over your entire body.

‘shhh, oh baby,’ jake’s voice a near whisper as he kissed the top of your head. ‘please tell me what’s wrong?’

‘i’m sorry,’ you sobbed quietly, your entire body still shaking. ‘i’m really sorry i- i’ve been so stressed. i’m just so stressed all the time what with finals coming up and when i’m stressed i get this knot in my stomach, it makes me feel sick, and i- i just can’t.’

jake stroked your hair gently as he held you to him. ‘it’s okay baby, you’re gonna be just fine,’ he paused, thinking. ‘but you gotta eat.’

‘i know,’ your voice came small, barely audible. slightly calmer now, you pulled away a little and met his eyes. ‘i know, jake.’

he reached out a hand to stroke your cheek lightly. ‘okay here’s what’s going to happen,’ he said decisively. ‘i’m gonna go make us some pasta, and we’re gonna watch a movie, okay angel? all of this can wait til tomorrow. you need a break,’ he leaned in, bringing his lips to yours in the gentlest kiss. relief flooded over you as you kissed him back softly, feeling the tension within you melting away.

‘thank you,’ you whispered.

he nodded with a small smile, and started gathering all the papers up from the bed, placing them in a neat pile on your desk. ‘i’m going to be here to take care of you, but you gotta start taking care of yourself, too.’ he leaned down and placed a firm kiss on the top of your head. you smiled gratefully.

‘i really love you jake,’ you whispered.

‘i love you so much, angel,’ he replied.

a/n i’m so so thankful for this request, tysm to both anons who asked for jake with these prompts! i honestly think that jake would be the most caring boyfriend so this just suits him so well. pls remember to always take care of yourself (you know jake would want you to ♡).

TAGLIST ೃ⁀➷ @thejakeslayla

©jaywonjuice | do not copy or re-upload my work on any platform

[stxrshxpxd]

”thats my girl!” part 2

part 1

pairing: dr house x reader

word count: 1.5k

prompt: house and reader have both stayed late and found themselves, tired and worked up in one way or another, in his office

”You’re in my chair.”

I glanced up from my papers with several pens in my hands, one of them tiredly making notes in the patient’s file, and a last one between my teeth. I couldn’t remember I had put it there, what with it being my twelfth consecutive hour at the hospital, but I dropped it when I had to respond.

“Yes, it does the fun spinny thing,” I said in a joyless tone, staring down at the words that were beginning to not look like words anymore. House waddled up to plant his palm on his desk and blink down at me.

“Well, you can have the chair as long as I get to be in-between you and it.”

I thought House had gone home long ago. Just about everyone else had. The halls and his office were dark and the world outside was pitch black as of nearly five hours ago.

“Mhm,” I hummed nonchalantly and laid the side of my aching head in my palm. Staring at the old medical records and documented symptoms of our patient, I dotted my pen in the margin as I tried to think.

“Hey, spiraling into insanity trying to solve the case is my thing! Get your own shtick!” House snapped in a joking upset voice. I stared down still but was distracted by his hand in front of me and his index finger that mindlessly tapped on the desk, and the veins on the back of his hand and up his forearm.

He was impossible and an asshole and sociopathic on a good day, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t find him attractive. There was something about his intelligence, quick wit and superiority that secretly drew me in. But I refused to give in. I knew I could never forgive my lack of self-respect if I were to cave and sleep with him. The only way to get over it, I had always thought, would be to demystify him by getting on his level.

“When were you planning on going home?” he asked. Had I not known better I would’ve thought I detected concern in his voice. I looked up and studied the sharp shadows on his scruffy face. He himself was apparently planning on going home soon, having stuck his biker jacket on.

“Maybe when the patient dies,” I joked tiredly.

“Hm, well, then you might as well start looking at the next case instead,” House said and shrugged as he reached to the end of his desk for a stack of thin folders. I detected a snarkiness now, which I knew was part of his usual repertoire. It enraged me an unjustified amount and I stood up suddenly, nearly crashing the top of my head into his chin.

“I’m gonna save him,” I argued and pointed my finger into House’s firm chest.

“Hey, sweetheart, you’re the one who said he’s gonna die,” he chuckled and raised his one hand in surrender. “Also, haven’t you ever heard there’s no ‘I’ in ‘team’?” he added in yet another silly tone, tilting his head down at me. We seemed to end up in this position a lot, I reflected. His pale eyes stared down at me in silence and I recognised he was putting two and two together in his head.

“What’s your obsession with being better than me?” he asked bluntly even though he had the answer. “You wanna put yourself above me and knock me off my pedestal, so that you don’t have to idolise and romanticise me anymore. Oh, this must be killing you.”

“Why do you ask questions you already have the answer to?” I countered, ignoring his calling me out. His smirk had grown wide on his lips.

“So that is the answer?”

“I’m going home,” I declared and shoved past him. My brain was fried and I had no witty one-liners left to throw in his face, plus my own face was growing red at his accusations.

“You can just say you wanna sleep with me,” he teased and I saw his arms were open in a conceited manner when I turned around quickly.

“Can you for once talk to me like I’m a human being with a brain and not a piece of meat?” I asked, trying to contain my frustration. He stood in the shade of my body but I could see him narrowing his eyes slightly.

“Please, you look at me like I’m a piece of meat too. I see the way you undress me in your mind all the time. As we all know by now; I’m not stupid,” House said daringly. It drove me crazy that he still wasn’t seeing the point and he was deflecting and refusing to give me an ounce of respect.

“You’re a jerk!” I stated and closed the gap between us, impulsively shoving him by the shoulders and catching his balance off guard. He was forced to step back with his bad leg and hissed in pain, before instinctively grabbing a hold of my arm for support as his back slammed against the wall behind him. I was pulled with him and crashed into his chest and his hand still gripped my arm tightly.

Suddenly I was in his space for real. All those times of staring up at his cocky face and just barely feeling his breath on my nose there apparently had been that last shred of a border between us. I hadn’t ever been aware of it but now it was gone and it was all I could think about. His heart beat against my chest and his breath was undeniably hitting my face and there was nothing holding me back from kissing him.

I enjoyed every time I had the upper hand with him, and now I did as I pressed a frustrated yet confident and harsh kiss against his mouth. He wouldn't ever be able to pull that kiss out of his lips, it was there forever. I realised though that he could give it back. And he did. He shoved his face harsher against mine and kissed me back while tightening his fist around my upper arm and holding me in my place. And a war broke out, both of us fighting to end up on top. Get the last kiss in, leave the most memorable mark, plant the most saliva in the other’s mouth, leave the nastiest sting of one’s teeth in the other’s lip.

My body was working quicker than my brain and before I knew it I was beginning to tear his jacket off. I could only get it half way off his arms before House’s phone rang loudly and startled us both. Pulled out of our cloud of lust, I let go of his jacket and took a step back. House fished the phone out of his pocket with a sigh. I saw Wilson’s name on his screen and he didn’t hesitate to click the call away. I laughed breathily at that and shook my head.

“I think he has cameras in my office. He’s jealous.”

“Of me that is,” I teased and he laughed shortly.

“Who else?” he was quick to joke along and those were the words that stayed hanging in the air as neither of us spoke for the next few, long seconds. House let out a soft sigh as he looked at me and pulled his jacket up to hang off his shoulders again. I stepped back to lean against the desk behind me and my gaze hopped around the room.

“Why do you think you’re on my team?” House asked at last but it was rhetorical. He raised his brows at me to make a point. “Obviously you’re incredibly intelligent and a fantastic doctor.”

He kept sighing as if this was the hardest thing he had ever had to say and it made me chuckle quietly behind my serious face. I looked him in the eye and we nodded at one another silently, both barely smiling. Then his phone rang again and he rolled his eyes as he pulled it out.

“Bright and early, 8 tomorrow!” House joked and pointed at me before he began walking out towards his office door. I laughed, knowing he hadn’t ever showed up at work before 10 am.

“We stopped kissing!” he answered Wilson’s call with mock annoyance. “You know, you’re gonna have to man up and put a ring on it if you want me to stop running around with other people,” he joked and I could practically hear Wilson’s confused sigh on the other end of the line as House disappeared down the hallway and I was left alone again, absentmindedly trailing my fingertips along my bottom lip.

[aajjks]

Your King (MYG)

synopsis. He was your King, while you were nothing but his possession.

warnings: YANDERE, T*XIC BEHAVIOUR, extreme YANDERE, mentions of blo*d, obsession, unhealthy possessiveness, he’s emotionally ab*sive, mentions of killing, crying.

disclaimer: THIS IS NOT A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP, DO NOT ROMANTICISE THIS BEHAVIOUR AT ALL, I do not CONDONE this behaviour at all? viewer discretion is advised, this type of content can be dark and triggering.

HEADER CREDITS TO MY ONE AND ONLY @introgfx 😭🫶

note. SHARE THOUGHTS??? ❤️❤️

“Did you take me for a fool, my dearest?” Yoongi hummed in a bored tone, sitting on his large golden black throne as his stare wasn’t focused on you but on the sword that he stared at.

Your knees were weak as you stood infront of him, unshed tears layering against your tired eyes, your heart begging to have him spare you a glance.

But your mind knew Yoongi better than anyone. He never liked to look at your wet crying eyes, that made him weak.

And yoongi didn’t like to be weak.

“P-Please Yoong- It’s my king to you now, sweetheart.” Your heart broke into a million pieces at his words, a wave of fresh tears welled up in your eyes as you looked down at the floor.

His anger was invisible on his face but you could feel it’s heavy heavy presence, the blood drops on his sword were the proof of his wrath.

“B-But m-my king please! Y-You were mislead! H-He was like my brother!” You cried, your voice wavered with fear as you felt the weight of his eyes fall on you.

You fell onto your knees.

Those horrific images of his body laying in his own pool of blood haunted you.

“H-He was my brother!” A choked sob left you. Yoongi was not speaking a word, only listening to you.

It scared you. “That’s enough, Y/N.”

Your heart skipped a beat, filling you with near waves of fear when you heard his footsteps coming towards you.

He rarely called you by your name.

“You dare to defend him even in his death?!?” A growl from him was the sign of his calm demeanour breaking.

“I don’t like it when you defend and cry for him like this… you are so stupid, my love.” Yoongi’s raspy voice was almost blocked by the sound of your own heartbeat.

“He may be like a brother to you,” you could see his reflection in the marble floor, as he crouched down to your figure.

You shuddered.

You couldn’t stop your tears. Yoongi noticed your panic, his large hand coming towards your face to caress it.

His touch burned.

“He didn’t see you like a sister though. You see, sweetheart, men can’t be trusted.” A laugh full of cruelty left him.

“Trust me I’m a man after all.” His touch was tender, so not like him. It was like this was not your king.

This was a crazy man. A killer.

“You’re my most prized possession, you know? I’m a very possessive person, I don’t like it when someone even looks at you. I feel a rush of murderous rage whenever you were with him.” His laugh vibrated around the large throne room.

“You should know that, right?” The pad of his thumb swiped against your trembling lip.

“These lips.. they’re too precious.” He squeezed the meat lightly between his fingers.

“But they feel so filthy to me whenever you utter his name.” You silently cried. “You’re my purest possession… you make me happy, dearest.”

Yoongi carefully lifted your head up, your eyes met his void ones. They were dark yet empty.

Completely empty.

“You know I don’t like to see you cry. You know everything yet… you like to test my limits, hmm?” He smirked, wiping away your fresh tears.

“Even these tears are mine. Why don’t you cry for me only?” He licked his lips, inhaling a deep breath. “Sweetheart… stop crying for him.”

Yoongi’s patience was running thin, you could tell.

“Before I make you cry for me.”

[kindlespark]

this is gonna be SO long and rambly sorry anyway i saw a post abt how babel does queer characters and it got me thinking abt why the tropes it uses would usually turn me off other stories but didn’t here

MAJOR BABEL SPOILERS //

i feel like i’d be more mad abt how robinramy ended up in babel if it marketed itself as queer lit at all or if its fans were going “WOW AMAZING QUEER REP” abt it. but no one told me any of that, so finding out they were gay was just a fun little bonus surprise to me. i get why ppl are eh abt robinramy not getting together/technically still being subtext (which i dont think is really true btw like the book literally says “robin was falling in love” but idk i guess if you were stupid you might’ve assumed that it was falling in love with oxford given how romantic some of the other language is (WHICH IS ALSO THE POINT bc i think robin’s friendship with ramy blurring into romance is why he romanticised like all his friendships/experiences in oxford BUT IM GETTING OFF-TOPIC)). i just think robin’s repression abt being gay was intrinsically tied to his attitudes on imperialism (wrt refusing to acknowledge anything that complicated his life until it was too late) and i don’t consider it a cop out or queerbait. like i genuinely don’t think robinramy could ever have gotten together without drastic alterations being made in terms of plot and character. plus i think it’s clear that kuang didn’t want to write a story with any kind of focus on romance at all, because it’s not that kind of book. there’s no successful het romance either, so it grates a lot less. the only reason romance is included at all is to show the ways in which white entitlement manifests. so the tragic way robinramy played out just made sense to me.

and i speak as someone who accidentally spoiled myself on You Know What in the middle of reading and i was like ugghh boooo dreading it the whole time expecting to roll my eyes when it happened but then when it did i was like. wow im actually not that mad LMFAO 😭😭😭 actually thematically the book sets it up so well that i believed that this was unfortunately the only way it could’ve gone. babel is about the loss and tragedy and grief that colonised people experience. it’s about the lengths people will go to to uphold empire and the lengths ppl will go to to tear it down like idk 😭 i guess it is bury your gays but it didnt bother me this time because i thought it fit thematically ❤️ i enjoy tragedy as a genre a lot and i would’ve made it gay anyway you know. thanks rf kuang for doing it for me so i didnt have to.

WHICH IS ALL TO SAY that i guess if you’re going into babel for the queer rep without appreciating that the story is fundamentally a tragedy it would feel like it’s just reusing tired tropes….. but i think the choices kuang made were rly deliberate and not in a way that feels like trauma porn or shock value. the book is fundamentally about the struggles of poc so the layer of queerness that was introduced felt like a subtle extension of the experiences of characters of colour in the book, and i enjoyed and related to it as a queer chinese person who kind of realised they had to prioritise their fight for the liberation of poc over queerness mainly because the idea of western queer liberation cannot be dissociated from imperialism and many aspects of homophobia as we know it was an export of christian european empire into our colonised countries in the first place and FUCK THIS IS A WHOLE OTHER TANGENT ABOUT HOW I THINK RAMY AS A CHARACTER IS EMBLEMATIC OF THE TENSION AND STRUGGLE THAT QUEER POC DIASPORA HAVE BETWEEN OUR IDENTITIES GODDAMNIT OK FORGET IT POST CANCELLED i just rly think babel’s handling of queer characters is fine and makes sense and i like it personally and maybe i will make a coherent analysis about it one day but that day is not today byeeeeeee

[haruchiyo-sanzu]

━━ 𝗋𝖺𝗂𝗇𝗒 𝗆𝗈𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌.

pairing : timeskip!suna rintarō x fem!reader

characters : miya atsumu (mentioned, as the no. 1 drama queen).

genre : fluff

warnings : lowercase, not proofread. time skip! may contain manga spoilers, cringy dialogues and pretentious writing.

notes : so it's rainy season in india, and since rain is so romanticised, it calls for a fic. can you tell i wanna cuddle with rin as we stay in bed whilst listening to the sound of rain? yeah i wanna do that.

ps : i was supposed to post it during june but it really slipped my mind.

it begins as a whisper in the wind.

the night had been beautiful with twinkling stars layering a blanket over the firmament, and the sky ── a dome of midnight blue, with gentle breeze softly sweeping past the streets and roads that occasionally made even the mighty trees to sway to its melody and the leaves to pirouette and prance along its tempo.

but the early morning zephyr that had been still and silent on preceeding days seems to have gained a slight movement as if it has finally discovered its trajectory yet is content to meander at its own pace, has now turned into violent gales, harshly cold by the time morning breaks out in a humid haze. there is tapping on the window which turns into a pitter-patter sound as it showers down; mist lingers in the air as the blazing sun hides behind the mass of grey clouds surrounding the aether ─── simply splendid! raining the day you have an important meeting.

you don't know what time it is in the morning when your eyes slowly flutter open to the sound of heavy rain pouring down onto the earth reaching your ears and the ephemeral scent of petrichor tickling your nose, siesta entangled within the nook your lashes which you rub grogilly, blinking twice to comprehend your surroundings before you try to get off the bed.

key word : try.

suna has an arm wrapped around your waist in a gentle yet tight grip, his face nuzzling in the crook of your neck ── you would have been annoyed at the whole ordeal (first it's raining, second you are most likely going to be late) but looking at how tranquil and peaceful he looks, you cannot bring yourself to push him off and wake him up, and subconsciously your face softens, as you lovingly brush stands of brown hair out of his eyes.

(he had returned home later than usual, having to stay back to get extra practice for an upcoming match, and crashed on the bed as soon as he came back. he really must have been tired because he didn't bothered giving a sarcastic remark or the middle finger when you had made a remark, about how much he stunk because of the lingering sweat).

you reach for suna's mobile phone kept on the bedside table, the sudden illumination of screen glares at you as it reads 8 : 19 in bold, there are several notifications popping up ── mostly from the miya twins and one from his sister. he'll check that later, placing the phone back from where you took it, you try to get him off you (but pushing a 6'3 athlete is no easy task).

his green eyes flick open as they blink at you, adjusting to the light ── up close, you can see the specs of brown in the chartresure of his irises, one look at them and they take you in, holding you captive, as they journey you into the woods, trees upon trees upon trees, with sunlight reflecting on them, a golden tint. they make you dive into nature itself. his eyes are beautiful ─── ethereal, one the poets write about and artists try to capture in their paintings; even now he looks so angelic, that is until you remember that suna rintarō is the devil reincarnate. “morning beautiful.” he mumbles sweetly then adds : “early morning and you're already staring at me. i'm really that irresistible, eh?” he says (his voice deep and husky, it makes your heart flutter), a smug grin on his features, which you wished to wipe off. you only glare at him in response before hitting him with a pillow.

“no. not at all.” you answer rather haughtily, then motion at his arm wrapped around your torso. “actually, i would appreciate if you'd let me get up.”

“no.”

“what do you mean no?”

“no means no.” he asserts, shifting his position to further nuzzle his in the curve of your neck. “did nobody teach you that?”

“oh, shut up rin. i don't have time for this.” you try to push him off but he takes your hand in his instead guiding it to his head, urging you to continue playing with his hair, he adores it when you do that (like a cat! but he won't admit it). so you move your fingers through his hair, combing and curling it (you can swear he is more cat than human) “i have a meeting today, i don't want to be late just because my boyfriend wanted to sleep. so get up!”

“just five minutes.”

“no.”

“come on, don't be like that.”

“no means no. nobody taught you that?” suna can practically hear the grin in your voice.

“it's raining heavily. call quits?” he suggests. “you can get sick.”

suna is clingy this morning (clinger than usual). blame it on his extra practice which ended later than his normal timings, so yesterday night he had been unable to cuddle with you and had dropped on the bed instead.

“i wont be walking there, y'know?”

“car accidents increase during heavy rain.” he's pulling you down with him, leg entangling with your own as he lays fleeting butterfly kisses on your neck.

“stay.” he murmurs, now towering over you, his voice is barely above a whisper, he is looking at you now, his eyes a soothing green, green ── that you swear can pierce your soul and see the crude and raw parts of you, in the most gentle and loving ways, like a childhood wound you get while playing ── clashes with your own. he leans in closer, and the world seems to fade away like rust and dust. the scenery outside, the sound of pouring shower, the empty, rain-stained streets and him ─── it is just too beautiful, and you can spend the rest of your life admiring it. “please.”

he tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear, his breath tickling your ear. “you know, you're staring again. maybe you should take a picture or even create a whole album for yer amazing boyfriend.” apparently that was enough to snap you out of it. you grab another pillow, and awing it at his head ── careful not to hurt him, but suna being number two drama queen (because no. 1 is atsumu, no arguments accepted!) had to let out an ouch! meanie. this gives you the opportunity you needed, (after gathering up all your courage and determination) you finally leave the comfort of your bed, instantly missing the warmth it provided, the silken sheets and suna's arm wrapped around you.

suna has a pout on his face, you merely roll your eyes at him before standing in front of the window ── still raining heavily, the trees outside look too preety to be real, it's almost as if you're in heaven. the glimmering sun is nowhere to be seen, which is a realief from the usual scotching heat of the mornings which only seem to intensify as the sun changes its trajectory. but the peaceful and tranquil rain certainly makes one yearn for a hot cup of coffee and a good book to read. but job is job. so with a sigh you grab your hair tie before pulling your messy, bed hair into a rough ponytail.

the click! sound of photograph is what snaps you attention back towards you boyfriend, who has his mobile phone in his hand and the flashlight zooming in and out of focus as he continues to click pictures of you. tch! clicking your tongue in annoyance you send him a glare before commenting : “Who's clicking pictures now? you're miss me that much while i'll be away?”

“no.” he dedpans as he looks at you bored (you know he's somewhat sad...? or mad...? sometimes it's hard to discern his emotions, but he certainly isn't happy so you made a mental note to watch a movie with him tonight after you get back and cuddle with him and get some popcorn too). “it's actually for my album titled ── vicious monkey.” he says monotonously. you blink, suna can be mean sometimes. your fists clench as you glare daggers at him. that's it! no movies tonight. no hugs. no popcorn. you take the pillow at the corner of the bed, which was almost falling off, and hit his shin with it ── this time with much force (because you don't have a good comeback this time, although you won't admit it ever).

“ow! what's this?” he exclaims (after hissing at you as he gently ran his hand through his legs) in a voice certain octaves higher than usual, as if he's about to announce something very important. he gives you a look before turning back to his phone reading : “breaking news : volleyball star brutally murdered by mad girlfriend.”

“he must have deserved it.” you point out. you know suna has a sarcastic remark to make, which usually lied on borderline offensive, by the look on his face but the ringtone of your mobile grabs your attention.

a call from the office, now? you frown swiping up the green recieve call option, then putting it to you ear, you greet with a simple : “hello.”

suna watches you silently, as you converse ── calls from boss is never good, most of the times they call you for work on weekends, but since you have to work today, how bad can it get? or maybe it can get worse, he doesn't really know, having no experience in working in an office (it sounds boring really. couldn't be him). it must've been important because he knows how much you love day-offs, he'd feel guilty (not that he'd admit it, again, he doesn't admit a lot of things) if you were to be late because of him.

“i could drop you, if you want.” he says once the call is over. you look over at him, a barely contained smile on your face. he archs an eyebrow, what happened?

“severe rain, the other party cannot make it. so the meeting's postponed till further notice.” you explain, although you cannot regain your sleep at least now you can have the day off.

“good for you. should have just listened to me in the first place.”

“hey, how was I supposed to know──” before you finish he is reaching for your hands, holds them in his and slowly pulls you towards him, you can feel his breath tickle your skin and how close he is to you, he leans in and all your previous words and complains hang in. he puts his finger on your lips.

“i'm glad you're here.” he whispers mostly to himself than to you. and you are too.

you have an arm wrapped around him, whilst his fingers find their home in the curls of your hair ── they're tangled, perhaps messy even but he smoothes them out. (he's good at it. sometimes he would even try different braids on your hair)

“your hair is worse than horse mane.”

(and he's also good at ruining perfect moments)

a click of your tongue and a light shove expresses your displeasure, “i hate you”

he kisses your temple, a stupid smile on his face, “i love you too.”

(and you love it when he smiles)

it ends with a whisper in the wind.

[skzcoffeemachine]

Darling..

--------------------------------------------------------------

a/n : moonbin (may his soul rest in peace) was actually one of my earliest bias. And this is not me romanticising the whole unfortunate accident. I just wish to be there for Chan, parasocially, delusionally, whatever works.

------------------------------------------------------------

“it's believed that the young idol passed out and his phone was on the floor, broken..”

You turned off the YouTube video you clicked on, expecting some truth to come out behind the passing, but ofc it was the internet with speculations abound.

Astro was the first group that got you into kpop, and the demise had affected you but not as much as it had affected your boyfriend.

“hey.. ”

He sounds weak.

“Hey.. ”, you smiled softly but his head was hung too low to notice. You knew what was affecting him. But cannot even start to imagine what must be going through his head. Just the thought makes your eyes well up.

I wish your pain was mine.

You watched as he trudged over to his desk, sitting down, laptop opened, trying to drown himself into his work.

You realise the least you could do was to help him eat. He has not ate properly in days, chugging down energy drinks, something out of character for Chan. But he needed energy to appear reliable in front of his kids. Earlier in the day, you had called Chan's mom to learn her curry recipe. It was ready, on the stove, piping hot.

It has also been days since he smiled in front of you. True, he force smiles when he's out and about. He did not have to pretend , in front of you. And you preferred it that way.

As much as you wanted to go up to him and kiss his worries away, you knew better . Instead, you went straight to the bathroom and started prepping a warm bath.

He recently bought bath bombs to try, but neither of you really knew the best way to enjoy it. So, you earlier asked Hyunjin about it. Time to apply it practically. You added some epsom salts, known to relieve stress. Then, dropped the bath bomb, which started fuzzing up into the colours of the galaxy. Next step was to dim the lights. You smiled to yourself. The mood lighting in the bathroom was a great idea on your part. Now it was the harder part. You silently draw up cue cards in your head to chain the perfect sentences , something that might help him.

“Chan.. ” his eyes looked up to you when you put your hands on his shoulders. “Come”.

He was probably too tired to retaliate or even say no. You gently tugged on his hoodie, signalling him to take it off. He stripped down, quite lazily, his eyes glued on the floor the whole time. You gulped down tears. How can you bear to see someone you love like this?

You guided him to the bathtub. He slid into the water until he was immersed upto his neck. You sat besides the tub, helping him place his head comfortably against the edge.

“baby, can I wash your hair? It will feel good”, you said in a whisper. He hummed in response. You stood up to bring out your shampoo from the cabinet. You remembered how he said your shampoo relaxes him whenever he was feeling less than ideal.

You were not the slightest bit alarmed or shocked by the sound of small sniffles that come from him as you detangle as gently as possible.

You silently and delicately wipe some tears from his eyes. 

“Darling.. ” you whispered, “it was not your fault”.

That was what he needed to hear. Enough for silent sniffles to evolve into hoarse sobs. Enough to finally break you too.

It was not the first time he had cried in front of you. Yet, it had never been like this. As far as you knew this man, you know his soul and how he takes the blame for everything bad that goes in his loved one's life. He had been working on it. It was getting better.

“I ..Should..Have been there”, he cried out in between sobs.

“y/n..what must be his family going through? His members? His sister?” he was shaking so much that you had to get into the water waist deep, with your clothes on, to hug him tight.

As his face buried in your chest, tears staining the sweater darker, he let it all out, everything he had been holding on inside himself. You hugged him tighter as he clung on the fabric in a failed attempt of control.

“Chan.. Chan.. Look at me.. Look..”

You held his reddened face in both hands.

“Breathe.. Baby”

He obeyed, although it was getting progressively difficult for him, from all the tears.

“Chan.. ”, you drew small circles on his cheek with your thumb, “you know..you have always been there, for us, for them, even for people you haven't meet yet. ”

For the first moment in what felt like forever, he held eye contact. His eyes was swollen, more than his morning kind of swollen, more than you have ever seen before.

“But what if one of you was going through the same thing.. And what if I failed to be there.. ” he spoke what was in his mind the whole time, mustering up courage.

To that, you smiled. “Well.. You have given us so much love and hope and strength . You have even saved millions with Channie's room. You just don't know it yet”.

And that was the truth.

His sigh was of relief to you. It hurts. He will hurt. But also it was extremely important for him to realise how loved he was, how he was helping millions out there.

The silence was disrupted by a growl. Your stomach. Perfect timing, dear tummy. He let out a small laugh. That was the sound of angels to you. “Let's have dinner, hmm? ”, you took the chance to ensure he has his proper meal in days. “How can I say no to that cute tummy? ", he quipped, rubbing your belly violently but teasingly,both of your giggles resounding through the bathroom walls.

---------------------------------------------------------------

A/n : is it peaceful there, moonbin? Rest well. Thank you for everything. 6

[squarebracketsmileyface]

if you liked Don't Blame Me you should listen to the rest of the album, Are We There Yet? the entire thing is about breakups and the cycle of toxic love! not only does the music absolutely fuck but it'll ruin you

I've listened through the album once in the background of doing other things, so I wasn't paying much attention to the lyrics. I should listen to it properly, because if it's about break ups and toxic love it'll be perfect for my Sorry It's Locked playlist

OKAY I'm back having relistened to the whole album. And this got long soooooo hiding it so it looks neater.

Romanticise This????? Alex's pov on breaking Jay's heart and betraying him. "God forbid that I romanticise this"? Like, as far as I'm concerned, Alex romanticises breaking Jay's heart through believing that it was the only choice he had to save him, he was doing it for the greater good.

You Are Here, i love this one so much and it makes me think of the entry 80 and onward fic idea I have for the sorry It's locked universe, where both Jay and Alex have kinda done a little healing (mostly Jay if i'm being honest, Alex if fucked) and they meet again under the circumstances of, yknow, entry 80. Jay's trying to kinda talk Alex out of killing him, and like, is just kinda realising how much he's had to change for them both to be here in this moment, but he also realises upon seeing Alex that he hasn't changed enough.

Idk I think it's more the general vibes of the song than the lyrics in this one but I still love it.

"You are here, And so am I, So come for a moment, And stay for a while" I think this bit is the most lyrically similar to the fic idea, like, Jay's going to not be able to bring himself to push Alex away even after he's shot him and they'll just both stay there together until Jay dies in Alex's arms.

In Between, Alex again, like, just, thinking about everything that came before, back when they were in Uni together. Like, him thinking about the things he'd do differently now (if all the shit with the Operator wasn't happening) Especially the chorus with the, like, wanting to "be like you" and "be with you" like, Alex kinda admiring Jay in a way I guess? Like, I'm thinking admiring Jay's ability to, like, be vaguely more open about his sexuality than Alex ever was. I'm terrible at analysis. THEY'RE MY BABIES AND THIS SONG MAKES ME GO "ALEX ARARARARARARARARARARA" there we go.

Then like, the last verse where it's like the chorus but changed a little? That's like Alex in the entry 80 fic idea realising how badly he fucked everything up and how there's no way to fix it now. He can't be like Jay, he can't be with Jay.

On The Other Side, more Alex, except it's Alex finally kinda losing it and realising he is very much not in control of himself or the Operator, and that the Operator is pretty much conpletely in control of his actions, or like, the thought processes that inform his actions. Specifically the end of the song I think, tho like, the whole "You wont find me on the other side" feels almost like he's resigned himself to hell after death, whereas everyone he's killed (and eventually Jay because he's realising he'll have to kill jay too now) won't be there with him. He's like, resigning himself to being okay with that reality.

The whole "I'll sleep in the eye of the storm" line to me feels like it could be about the Operator kinda. Like, the Operator is the storm, and Alex is sleeping in the eye of it, as in, staying close to it and kinda doing what it says (while also trying to still save people from it) is the best way to keep himself alive for longer so he can "save" more people from it in the end. I think that makes sense? God knows. I'm tired and terrible as song analysis.

Once again: Alex ararararrarararararrarararararararrarar

Okay. I'm done. My apologies for ranting I just love this fic SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much that any chance I get to talk about it, I will talk until my jaw falls off because oh my GOD I love these characters so fucking much.

Denial, Jam Jam Jam Jam Jam Jam. Jam. Idk, this just feels like Jam in Sorry It's Locked. Specifically because as great (comparatively) as their relationship is there are still issues they're ignoring/staying in denial of. They definitely hook up too quick, they definitely need to talk things through more before they have sex, but they don't because they really don't have the time for that. They're making the best of a shit situation and as much as Tim would like to be sensible, he'd also like to do stuff before one or both of them ends up dead. They try to talk about stuff after they hook up but "How can we speak with all our clothes on the floor?"

"Say what you need and you can stay for a while, Say what I like so I can stay in denial" Jay talking to Tim methinks. He's just trying to forget everything. Everything that happened with Alex, everything that's happening with the Operator. He just wants something he can use to pretend his life is normal.

"Won't you come away with me? And water 'til we're overgrown" Tim being so very hopeful that they'll get out of this alive and well and they'll be able to grow older together.

"So just hypothetically, Will you be the death of me?" As much as they like each other, they definitely don't fully trust each other. In their situation they can't, so they're definitely wary of the other being the literal death of them lmaooooo. But also 'oh you'll be the death of me' in the fun cute way because like, sometimes they can pretend things are normal and their relationship is normal and came about in a normal way.

[hmshermitcraft]

Gem and Wels’ on a date, and some backstory!

—

“Gem..?”

Wels whispered, barely audible over the sound of rustled leaves and the faint buzzing of bees.

She hummed in reply, hand intertwined with his as they lay on a picnic mat.

“Do you ever wonder, how many lives have passed just over time?”

“Are you getting existential?”

He snorted, “maybe.”

“I’m only here because of some accidental time travel and too many lines of code that make sure I don’t age 2000 years. I’m sure X is tired of updating them by now.”

“How did you accidentally time travel into the present day anyways? If you’re alright with sharing.”

Wels kissed her on the cheek.

“The cold air was eerie. It didn’t feel right. My life didn’t feel right.

I had been King Arthur’s knight since I was allowed to. I had wished and hoped to be among the strongest army ever seen in history. I had hoped to be in textbooks, to be remembered for glory.”

Gem cut him off, “you achieved the ‘be in textbooks’ dream of yours.” Wels laughed.

“I was one of the few knights Galahad had appointed to join him on the search for the grail. That’s when I knew, it wasn’t meant to be.

So I ran, I ran farther and farther from where me and the other accompanying knights had been stationed. The breeze was pushing me back, telling me that it was my duty, that I had signed up for this, that I had to follow it through. Scouts honor and all of that.”

Gem kissed away the tears forming in his tear ducts. He didn’t even realize he was crying. He sniffed.

“Are you alright? You don’t have to tell me,”

“It’s fine, I want to.”

“If you insist…”

“I had pushed through the breeze and the thoughts that told me I was only meant to be a knight. That I couldn’t be anything more than that. I had stumbled into a cave, and dug deeper to find a stronghold. With my sword in hand, I thought, ‘nothing left to lose, might as well.’ And jumped into the ender portal.”

Gem gasped, “Wels! You could have died!” She fussed over him, hand now delicately caressing his face. She kissed him on the bridge of his nose, which made him chuckle.

“I slayed the dragon, I hadn’t known what would happen, where I’d end up, but the air was constricting, and I knew I only had moments left before I would die of oxygen deprivation. So I jumped, and found myself in the 4th season of Hermitcraft.”

Wels chuckled.

“That’s when Xisuma found me at spawn, where I subsequently started to age far too quickly as he scrambled to make sure I didn’t die via lots of lines of code. If you want to know the specifics of that, you’ll have to ask him.”

“From how he’d mentioned it, I don’t think I want to.” She giggled.

“And 4 seasons later, I met you. The love of my life.”

“Okay, now you’re being a sap.”

“I’m your knight in shining armor.”

“That, you are.”

And so, the supposed princess and her knight intertwined their fingers together, and gazed at the sunset. What a romantic scene indeed.

—

Bonus;

The sun had set, not a flare visible in the sky any longer.

BdoubleO100 went to sleep

<Geminitay> We were having a romantic moment!

<Welsknight> bad timing haha

<BdoubleO100> sorry!! lol

~🎨 anon <3

Some part of Gem has found it hard to accept that Camelot isn't the romanticised image she's so used to seeing. But she has a real piece of it here with her, and that's what's most important in her eyes. Looking after Wels.

There's... Clearly things he doesn't talk about. She doesn't press, either. Everything he chooses to share with her, she's grateful for. And she'll share stories of childhood and early heartbreak. The teasing she endured in her youth. Nothing compared to Wels, but he appreciates the perspective on modern day life too.

It still feels like there's things he doesn't fully understand. He appreciates the time Gem takes to teach him - he doesn't feel afraid to admit when he's unfamiliar with something. Whether it be food, an item or a custom. Gem is always happy to teach him!

Who knew things could end up like this?

[excaliburssword]

Hot take on ships (part 2 ig 😩)

Yeah, so I decided to make a part two 😃

! OBVIOUSLY SPOILERS, PLEASE DON'T BE STUPID LIKE ME AND CONTINUE READING IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED THE S.G.E. SERIES !

Keian

It's a full on ten from me. I might even go above and beyond and break the scale on this one.

Some might disagree, (even though I've seen A LOT of supremacy for these two), but I wouldn't give up the chance to see Soman write a novella about the Arbed boys before everything went down, mainly just to see these guys in action (alongside Japaric ofc).

Their dynamic was so cute together! Obviously minus that one scene in ACOT when Rhian indirectly threatened him, but Kei kinda deserved it for "betraying" him ig.

11/10

2. Hedros (...)

This is obviously just crack, but it's still kinda funny.

I remember someone had asked for my opinion on this, but idk if they were being sarcastic or generally serious 😶

If it was satire, then ig this could be ridiculously hilarious, but could work at the same time.

They literally came around themselves in the last book and became besties, so why not?

I obvi don't ship it, but it is something I would bawl my eyes reading if it worked 😭

2/10

3. Revelyn

Can I just say... that I ship literally no one on the ends of the earth with this bi$h other than her grave?

She was a literal r@pist (in a way) and actually had the audacity to think she deserved to have someone to look after her 💀

Miss girl.... NO.

I think her tombstone makes an excellent partner...so it's okay....

BUT-

She did make one hell of an excellent villain. If Sophie didn't exist to drive Rafal all delusional like he was, these two would've made everyone bow at their feet with no regrets.

Not to mention Japeth and Rhian being there with them 😩

8/10 (ONLY IF EVELYN WASN'T THE SKUNK SHE WAS, BC THEN IT WOULD BE LOWER THAN 0).

4. Tilip (idk is that their ship name?)

If Agatha didn't exist, then they would've been pretty cute together.

But at the same time, they give off the energy of "we're better off as friends."

Idk, it's somewhere in the middle of 5/10 and 6/10 for me.

5. Chaddrix

Eh, they were both the wannabes in their year (sorry Chaddick), so they seriously deserve each other.

Plus, imagine them having kids. God half of them would be whining about their hair and the other half would just be interested in sword play the whole time 😭

5/10

6. Saric

Idk where I saw this...but something inside of me STIRRED that day when I did.

Listen, ik Aric is a complete psycho and he is DEFINITELY where he belongs, but these two would've erupted the whole @ss universe if they were together-

Like do you guys remember those times when Aric was literally FLIRTING WITH HER in the third book? (I'm not romanticising toxicity, because we all know damn well it was all just another play of his).

They would've been great best friends tbh, and idk what the hell is wrong with me, but I rate it a 8/10 📸

7. Jophie

Ik I said that Saric was toxic, but this ship is just straight up abusive.

Japeth LITERALLY assaulted Sophie more than three times in a single book (A crystal of time/ ACOT) and basically excused it by saying "it all was for his one true love."

Like....what?

You literally had her under your full control almost a quarter through OTK??

Now I'm not saying Saric is a magnificent ship that deserves to be seen, because it doesn't, and is basically just crack given the fact Aric is a literal walking red flag, but Japeth is just a whole other story-

0/10

This took me a whole hour (and idk why, cause I'm not even tired), but that brings me to the end of Part 2!

I'm probably not going to do a part 3, (unless I remember another ship I forgot), but again, probably not 😃🕺

[inbetweenimperfectmusings]

I remember first seeing her

Really seeing her

And thinking 

Yeah she’s pretty 

Not blatantly conventionally attractive

Not hot, not sexy, not cute,

But 

Pretty.

Pretty unlike my type.

And now sitting here on her couch

I’m looking at her again

In between scrolling

So no one can say I’m staring

I’m not staring.

Since then I’ve seen her in all those lights

And I still think the same,

Except

For the fact that

I find her painfully beautiful.

Painful because

If I look at her too long

And think about it too hard 

My eyes start to burn at the edges

And I have to look away.

She rubs her eyes walking out from the kitchen,

Her hands still smelling like the damp inside of rubber gloves,

And when she collapses next to me my eyes are glued to my phone,

And I never did get butterflies around her.

She doesn’t look as tired as she normally does today.

When did I start to notice that she washes her hair the same days every week.

She’s beautiful.

I think it so much it weighs on my chest,

And I curse the man she’ll marry

Because what if he doesn’t know?

I risk a glance at her,

And she’s looking at me so softly again

Without flinching.

Not embarrassed 

Not shy

Not hiding anything.

It’s the same as that early December night,

When I said with such conviction 

I’ll never be able to love you

And she said 

‘I know my future

I don’t expect it to change 

Just like I don’t expect anything back.

Loving you feels nice

If that’s what this is

Besides I’ll just

Romanticise it all in my head,

Unrequited love,

I’m a poet at heart you know,

Yeah,

Loving you feels nice.

I don’t need you to love me back.’

I don’t care what you need.

Please take this from me.

It’s getting heavy.

[yourmotherstrashmouth]

hi! how are you? could i request a harry potter matchup pls? x i prefer marauders era but whatever's easier for you is fine :) x

i'm straight & my pronouns are she/her x i am an enfp and a sagittarius with a virgo moon and a leo rising. i would say i'm overall introverted with extrovert tendencies - i have anxiety so i have to be around the "right" people to be able to feel comfortable being myself. but i'm confident meeting new people.

i am 5''3 with a petite hourglass figure, i have curly auburn hair (just below shoulder length) and dark blue/green eyes. my fashion sense is a mix between grunge and cottagecore.

i would describe myself as fun, witty, honest, a little dramatic, and empathetic. i can also be quiet and calm, depending on my mood - i think i can read people well. i have pretty big mood swings. as a fictional character i'd be a mix of jo march, mary macdonald and lizzie bennett.

i like reading, baking, poetry, astrology, romanticising literally everything, and learning about new theories - conspiricy, scientific, philosophical, as long as it's controversial, i'll read about it, and probably make a powerpoint about it too lol. i also love music (preferably 80s rock, and lana del rey ofc)

i'm a hopeless romantic, but i'm not really in to overly romantic gestures. in a boyfriend i want someone genuine and fun who can make me feel safe. somebody who will accept me for who i am, and will be sort of like a best friend in some aspects.

For Harry Potter I match you with... Neville Longbottom!

Song: Bittersweet Tragedy - Melanie Martinez

First of all, Neville is the sweetest person in the world. He will listen to you rumbling about your interests all day though he's tired after a long day.

He loves the smell of your fresh out of the oven sweets. This cinnamon roll will smell it from whatever room he is in and follow it to find his lover in the kitchen.

Doesn't know how to deal with your mood swings at all! He goes insane and probably calls Luna (and me >:3) to tell him what to do.

Both ISFJs and ENFPs bring empathetic thinking to a work environment; however, ISFJs also offer commitment and attention to specifics, while ENFPs offer a flexible, positive attitude. ISFJs can help ENFPs work to achieve personal and professional goals and sagittarius and leo are a perfect fit for each other emotionally. Although both of them are not overly sensitive and like to stay on the positive side of things. The two zodiac signs enjoy each other's company and listen to their partner talk happily.

[lilacfugue]

In the limelight

I’ve come to a revelation today, tonight exactly, at 1:15am, that only the marred, the scarred, and the sacred, deserve the limelight of it all. Rereading old entries from 2017 tore down this wall inside me, revealing this gravelled road thick with dust and forgotten emotions, leading this feeling into something more. Like Swiss alps, tall, unfathomable and ever so lonely, minted by breaths of nepotism, sultry steam and bird songs, fogged by green envy of the world.

My days were dreadful without your presence, my heart crying for help at the fatal mouth of boredom, yet it was laced with scoops of sweetness and ice-cold like mint gelato. Like sweetness that melts away but leaves a long enough sensation on your tongue. Every day around 4am to 5am, you send me digitalised postcards of the 21st century in form of "vlogs", I called them “love letters I wake up to�� and you love the term; although unlike you, you try romanticising your times in the foreign land without me yet with me, has touched me with so much physical joy it seems intangible and suffocating even, as I bury myself and rot into series after series of documentaries about drug towns and Manila slums with tired, burnt out eyes.

All these seemed almost impossible, like it was going to fade away; this perfection that one breathes, someone like you, deserves books and poetries written about, yet now, you are mine, grounded yet far away, perfected yet vulnerable. If you ever went away, I hope I’d be able to tell myself to cry before it happens so I would not after it did, so that I don’t drown myself further and deeper into this lime light. To merely mutter the words “I truly love you”, need not so much courage and shame, would exist only in a parallel world.

Wednesday 10 April 2024

[my313]

beautiful stranger ⟡₊ 🚎 ⊹ ࣪ ˖ choi beomgyu

now playing 𝄞₊ ⊹ beautiful stranger - laufey

⋆ pairing: beomgyu x gn!reader

⋆ summary: what better way to romanticise the commute to class than listening to laufey and re-living that elevator scene from 500 days of summer?

⋆ genre/themes/warnings: slice of life, university au, fluff, love at first sight, strangers to ???, crack-ish lol, also kind of loser simp manic pixie dream boy gyu, lots of laufey mentions and references, 500 days of summer reference (the i love the smiths scene if anyone hasnt watched but has seen it on tiktok)

⋆ word count: 1591

a/n: if ur looking for realism this isnt it ... this is me trying to imagine my own romcom. also my bad i think i got too carried away yapping and with too little dialogue. this is definitely self-indulgent but!!!! here’s my first post :) i’m thinking of making this a laufey songfic series for all of txt but depends on my inspo LOL. this was inspired by a girl on the bus who was tryna show me her taehyung lockscreen cuz she probably saw my soobin one HAHAHA. hope u guys enjoy :3

act i. looked back for a second  didn’t want to be rude i tend to fall in love on the tube

falling in love is simple for choi beomgyu. his eyes sparkle on default, glossy and rose-tinted - at least, on days where he can bring himself out of the university dorms. on most days, he finds that the world has a dull enough filter to put his pink-coloured frames to rest. he definitely thinks so every time he has to begrudgingly work on his assignments.

the universe decides today is not one of those days.

it really should be, though. the bus is overcrowded on a monday morning and he’s running on four hours of sleep after regretfully queueing on league with soobin and kai. he taps his foot impatiently, unable to hide his discomfort from all the squeezing and lack of personal space. his final saving grace is the tune of paramore’s the only exception from his headphones, only slightly distracting him from the screech of the tires and the chatter of freshmen. the public transport announcement for the next stop comes as a breath of fresh air for beomgyu as people rush out the doors. he breathes a sigh of relief and absentmindedly takes the closest unoccupied seat. 

it’s not everyday that beomgyu gets to see the outside world (willingly), so he decides to challenge himself on the remaining half hour he has on the bus. he blinks, once, twice, more. anything to keep him awake. 

the announcer’s voice fills the bus again to call for the next stop, but that’s not what wakes beomgyu up. no. the doors open and he catches a glimpse of someone’s cute plushie strapped on their bag. like a cat follows a laser beam, beomgyu’s gaze is fixed on the plushie until it stops moving. it’s right next to him. he raises his head, trying to be discreet and potentially avoid looking into this stranger’s face. unlucky as he is, beomgyu is met with your eyes almost immediately. his brain freezes in the way it did when he tried yeonjun’s mint chocolate ice cream out of summer heat desperation. it short circuits, and all he can think is so pretty; like it’s the only word in the dictionary, and right next to it is your name (even if he doesn’t know it yet). he swears he almost says it out loud. 

taken aback, beomgyu can only hold your stare for a second before quickly turning away. his cheeks flush as he attempts to appear nonchalant (he is anything but), fishing into the pockets of his leather jacket to find his phone. he aimlessly unlocks it, showcasing his ‘romanticizing & touching grass’ playlist at full brightness. he cringes, thinking how ironic it is to have laufey’s beautiful stranger playing as he quite literally tries to avoid looking at a beautiful stranger in real-time. half of him entertains the thought of you seeing it and sparking up a conversation, a meet-cute that rivaled the quirkiness of the elevator scene in 500 days of summer. the other half of him continues to sink into himself, cringing at the thought.

still, he lifts his head and quickly glances at you, his phone screen lit up in anticipation.

act ii. beautiful stranger catching my stare it’s fate we collided right then back there i wonder if he felt the same thing too innocent crush on the morning commute

the boy next to you has looked up thrice in the ten minutes you’ve boarded the bus. if he wasn’t the prettiest you’d ever seen in your time riding this specific commute, it definitely would have been weird. it’s even more adorable that he’s tilting his phone screen towards you, a laufey song proudly on display as his attempts of appearing casual throw him under the bus. 

you laugh to yourself, lips tugging into an amused smile. lightly nudging him with your elbow, beomgyu’s shoulders jerk as he looks back at you. he has his headphones on, so when you gently say, “i love laufey!” he doesn’t entirely understand. his eyebrows slightly raise in confusion. in the midst of taking his headphones off to hear you better, he stills when you move closer. your lips are too close to his already warm ears, and it certainly doesn’t help that you’re practically whispering “i love laufey” with the most unassuming, goofy yet endearing smile. your excitement must be contagious to beomgyu, because his embarrassment is quick to dissipate. you haven’t moved away. he’s not sure if you’re doing it on purpose - if this was how strangers on buses flirted. if that ever happened at all. 

“oh, um,” he starts off awkwardly, “me too!” beomgyu’s stumbling over words he hasn’t even had a chance to get out yet, they’re all rushing to leave his mind but the damned announcer beats him to it. your gaze flickers from him to the blinking sign ahead. by now, you were back to leaning on your seat and away from beomgyu’s face. you really wished time slowed down, but the next stop was yours. you pursed your lips and contemplate your next words. what are the chances you’ll see this guy again? 

“by the way,” you turn to beomgyu, expression determined like braving getting on a rollercoaster. “you’re really pretty.” 

the announcer cuts through the silence and you’re quick to be up on your feet, ignoring the rising pink on both yours and beomgyu’s cheeks. “it was nice meeting you!” you manage to squeak out. just like that, beomgyu’s lost you.

act iii. but my beautiful stranger will have to remain a stranger until i see them again

beomgyu’s gone delusional over the past week. he’s sure that laufey will be his top artist on spotify this month, all because of you. 

it’s monday again, his classes are canceled and yet he’s seated in the bus hoping to catch a glimpse of you. no, he wants more than a glimpse. this time, he’s certain he can do much better than a bunch of ums and awkward smiles. his posture straightens sharply as the bus makes a gradual stop. it’s yours.

this time, beomgyu’s quick to crane his neck over and look outside the window to make sure you’re there. the universe is kind, because there you are. the corners of his mouth rise on their own accord when you meet eyes, tapping the seat next to him that he totally did not reserve for you the whole ride. 

you’re pleasantly surprised by the pretty boy’s re-appearance, smirking while making yourself comfortable next to him. 

“i should’ve known you were one of the crazy ones. nobody listens to laufey normally…” you sigh, tone satirical and disapproving, but your expression is anything but. it’s obvious you’re glad he found you again. he wasn’t the only one squealing over the past week. 

beomgyu’s voice comes out more confident than last monday, playful yet baritone. “nah, you got it wrong. i’m only crazy over you.” you’re both looking at each other in silence before bursting into fits of laughter. beomgyu tries to keep his giggles polite by covering his mouth with his palm, but you’re flailing and find yourself leaning into his shoulder to muffle your laughs. 

that only makes beomgyu grin wider, lifting his hand from his face and training his eyes on you. he doesn’t wait for you to stop laughing, sneakily capturing your hand together with his. the sudden warmth melting your frigid hands makes you jerk away from the comfort of beomgyu’s sweater. you’re instantly faced with his wide eyes. before uttering a word, beomgyu cuts you off with a silly expression, eyebrows wriggling mischievously, “so that scored me a date, right?” 

“you’re such a freak,” you taunt. “i don’t even know your name!” beomgyu rolls his eyes, brows still raised comically. “you laughed into my sweater, i think we’re so past that.” 

“but since you asked… how about i give you a good deal?” 

“i’m listening.” you play along with his banter, nudging him to go on. beomgyu nods smugly as he lays out his cards, confident you won’t say no. you couldn’t, right?

“i propose that you get my name right now.. but only if you take my number too,” he says cheerfully. “great deal, huh? can’t get it anywhere else. a bus 11 exclusive!” 

you pretend to give it a thought, complete with a pondering stance and looking up at the bus ceiling in contemplation. when you look back at beomgyu, you can’t help but smile at his overly-excited puppy-eyed look. it makes you want to tease him even more, but you decide against it. your stop is threatening to cut this short again.

you bring out your phone, unlock it and hand it over to beomgyu. “gimme it then, stranger.” 

“it’s beomgyu,” he says as he types up his number. he locks your phone before returning it into your hands. “i’m saved as love of your life though, so…” 

“weirdo!” you shriek while opening your phone to double check. it’s just beomgyu with a heart. “i thought you actually did that.”

beomgyu laughs. the announcer’s familiar voice fills the bus again and it’s your stop next. swiftly, you open up a new chat with beomgyu, sending him a message before standing up and waving bye. he returns the gesture fondly, watching you get off and walk away.

once the bus starts up again, beomgyu sees the notification from you:

wanna hang tonight? :)

[burntoutstarlight]

hands

"they don't love you like i love you"

did anyone else love you?

i learned to sing that song for you because it was your favourite. your hands playing such a simple song on guitar had me in awe because we could make music together. a simple dream but one that was mine for so many years

you, you were a poet, supposedly. a writer. a romantic, but not in the way the word makes it sound; you romanticised life, romanticised yourself, in such a dark way to make it all sound far more interesting and ethereal and haunting than it ever was. you called yourself an idea, but you are no more or less a person than anyone else, trying to be different and special to entertain that sense of wonder in yourself. your hands were your tools and you wrote many things. the same hands that wrote heartbreak and love tried to kill me.

you let me into your world. i was the only one to know, because the ones before didn't care, or so you told me. i know you well enough. you're a fraud and i see right through you. this is what you wanted.

"if i can't have you, no one can"

the thoughts of someone with their head in outer space. a crazy romantic with bookish ideals.

i was asked if i wanted special measures today. things to obscure your face or make it so that i couldn't see you properly the next time i have to see you. i chose not to take them. for my own pride, i want to face the person that used those same hands that had once amazed me to try to take my life.

his hands that held mine all those years ago, the hands that bought me nice things and helped me with chores, were the same hands that held me down when he raped me.

your hands that held mine, the hands that made me food and brought me water when i was too tired, the hands that brought my post when i couldn't move and put on videos to entertain me whilst you were busy, the hands that did so many kind things over the years i knew you were the same hands that tried to kill me.

you used to smile at me so affectionately but there was nothing in your eyes when you plunged a knife into my throat.

i am scared to hold any hand, for i do not know what that hand is capable of. much like i did not know his capabilities, or your capabilities, for cruelty, i am terrified to know any more.

[wildernessfaery]

does anyone else have those people who you randomly bump into sometimes and they aren't particularly attractive but you'd fold so quickly for them?

there's this one girl who i see sometimes in the corridors and i swear to all the holy things above, i am literally feral for her, she is the most breath-taking, heart-palpitating, ethereal, extraordinary person i have ever seen in my entire life. when i see her i genuinely can't breathe and i need 3-5 business days to recover.

but on the other hand, she's literally just an ordinary person who i've spoken about 5 words to in total and looks like 75% of the people i know.

there is just something so curiously mystifying about her.

and i sort of love her.

but in a completely sane way.

(i want her to be my muse. i want to buy her flowers and cook her dinner and tuck a blanket over her when she falls asleep on the sofa. i want to carry her to bed and kiss her forehead and whisper i love you's into her shoulder as i kiss a path down to it and we both drift off to sleep. i want to wake up early the next morning and bring her homemade cinnamon buns and perfectly made tea in bed and read her poetry as her eyes open and tell her all the lovely things i dreamt about her the night before. i want to dance with her around the kitchen to the records i collected when i was fifteen and laugh until my cheeks hurt and hold her hands and get on one knee and promise to love her for this life and the next and the next, and to always find my way back to her. i want to elope on the beach or in the woods, just us two. i want to cry as i say my vows and sob as i hear hers. i want to run off into the sunset and travel the world. then i want to sit her down and hold her close and cry into the spot on her shoulder i used to kiss as i tell her i'm ill. i want to stay with her until she accepts i have to go. i want my last words to be i promise i'll find you in the next life and the next and the next. ¡ love you" and then i want to die in my sleep. i want her to mourn until she is exhausted and then i want her to stand up and fall in love again. and when she finally joins me, i want to tell her that i saw, that i love her still, that i'm sorry it took so long. i want her to say that she found someone better and i want her to break my heart into a million tiny pieces so that i spend the rest of eternity searching for them, rather than thinking of the future we never had. i want to cry so hard that the people we both left behind get annoyed at the rain that doesn't stop for days. i want to live, undead and unhappy until someone reads my diary and sympathises with my story and sets me free. then i want to fall into nothingness. i want my last thought to be of her and i want her to never think of me again. i want to stay alive only through the romanticised love story i wrote about our life together and i want to go down in history as the two women who loved each other more than anything else. i want people to cry when they hear about us and make movies and video games and i want people to get angry at the big corporations for spoiling our story. i want us to be like achilles and patroclus, except the only brave thing i ever did was leave her and the only brave thing she did was to try to love my ghost. then i want everyone to forget about us. everyone except a tired old classics professor with a white beard and kindly eyes and the last surviving copy of my diary. i want him to cook a delicious breakfast for his husband of forty years. i want him to make cinnamon buns by hand as he reads about that day when i brought her tea in bed. then i want him to put them in the oven and walk with his husband up the hill behind his house to watch the sunrise. when he comes back, hours later, his house will be alight, the cinnamon buns and my diary with it. the fire brigade will be called and the house salvaged but my diary will be burned and with it my story for he can no longer bring himself to think about me, blaming my spirit for the accident. no one will know of us again and that will be the end of our love story, mine and hers. though it ends with sadness and loss, it won't matter because the love we shared during my life was unparalleled to anything anyone has ever felt and ever will feel in the history of the universe.)