Horny aroaces exist. And for me, it’s frustrating. Since I feel no sexual attraction and don’t really know how to masturbate without feeling like I have to pee, I try to fantasize about sex be g forced on me because I can’t fathom initiating the horny myself. Basically, the only way I would actually fuck is if it were a fuck or die situation. I’m sex positive aroace. I don’t feel sexual or romantic attraction. I have to consciously initiate sexual desire in myself, and I’ve done so for years thinking it’s the only way I’ll be normal. I read all the dub/noncon Bill Cipher x Reader fics in AO3 and Tumblr just to feel a little bit of desire. And any time I try to initiate desire and sexual feelings, I feel like I have to pee and it’s uncomfortable. Also, hypnosis. Anything to do with hypnosis does it. And it feels so uncomfortable that o try to force myself to like it.
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Why Am I This Way - Psychology Answers
Note: Another one <3 Hope this one is informative
“How Am I” Section
“I Daydream a Lot.. Is That a Problem?”
What happens in the unconscious brain:
Day dreaming has a lot to do with our unconsciousness and with the way we used to play when we were a child.
As mentioned in my first post of this series, Freud explained that the “playing” (as in child playing) were the symbolism of our subconscious and mental structure through the (Ego, Superego and the ID).
To find more about these three components you can read this post:
In his case, Winnicot explains that playing allows us to create a middle world between the reality and the unconscious which in adulthood is translated through daydreaming or creating fake scenarios
While developing the theory, Winnicott also explains that playing/daydreaming isn’t intentional and it helps people to enter a state of relaxation while lowering our inner defenses.
Daydreaming help us lowering our anxiety, our stress and the negative emotions that often pushed us into a overwhelming burnout and outbursts
Healthy daydreaming isn’t dangerous. It is helpful because one is able to lose their identities for a short instance and become something they are not in order to smooth themselves from the reality they live in.
Although some daydreams can be a reflection of inner traumas, of fears and emotions, it is done through a way that provides comfort amidst the chaos.
Although this is a short period of time, this moment of relaxation is actually beneficial and it allows our subconscious to breathe in and out before pushing our defenses back up. It help us not being constantly on edge
Daydreaming is all about finding an interesting balance between the chaotic worry associated with many of life's challenges and the boredom of doing nothing
if you are interested in more of this topics you can check the works of Winnicott and Csikszentmihalyi
So what can we do?
One thing I think is important to yell, is that NO, daydreaming doesn't male you mentally sick and doesn't mean you are suffering from mental illnesses.
Daydreaming is a natural process, the same way playing is in children. it only becomes maladaptive and underlying a serious mental condition when it is affecting your daily life and impacting your health directly or your dissociations.
What is incredible is that Csikszentmihalyi explains that daydreaming can be the key to having a happy healthy life in some way
Because daydreaming doesn’t only provide a moment of relaxation, but also a moment were our creativity can run while, where we can absorb ideas and thoughts of something positive and most importantly, a way to detach ourselves from our own human condition to find some inner peace
So what can we do? Nothing really! If anything, daydreaming is a good coping mechanism as long as it reminds you of the neutral field and doesn't directly impact your daily life.
Allow yourself to push through that creativity, to bring yourself confort. If the daydreaming is too painful to remove yourself from or if it impacts your routines and plunges you into states of dissociation then that's the moment you should seek professional help because you balanced on the negative side of daydreaming
Now, you know where to work to become a better version of yourself
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this stunningly beautiful colored illustration at the beginning of vol 8 (is that one of yours @zeldacw?) is making me tear up bc omg look at them ;_; Xie Lian's open, carefree joy!!! Hua Cheng's fond, loving gaze!!! their red string, the butterflies, the warmth all around them ;a; first glimpse of vol 8 I've allowed myself (reward for getting through a tough day) and I'm already overwhelmed with hualian feels ;_;
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