#mental and physical vibes r bad today

[hotelbitches-a]

this rpc is hard to be in when all of your friends have left or keep leaving faster than you can meet new people

[mellowwillowy]

Yan! Boyfriend x GN Reader

—𝒀𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒐𝒃𝒆𝒓 - 𝑳𝑰𝒇𝑬 𝑷𝒓𝒐𝒋𝒆𝒄𝒕 𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕 , NSFW

Yan! Boyfriend who you thought to be a golden retriever only to have him turn into a Doberman the moment you are away from him.

Yan! Boyfriend who is the "all 5 love language combo" for you and you only!

Act of service? Fun, especially when his head is buried into your crotch. That aside, yes he does all those sweet ass stuffs. Anything you think of, he has done it, even to the very most downbad shit you could think of.

Physical touch? PDA if you are into that, else either a hand around your thigh, squeezing them with love or shit ton of pecks.

Words of affection? 'My love looks so gorgeous as usual! What a refined beauty my love is, no wonder I can't stop falling head over heels for you!' And you were on the bed with bad hair, drooling on your pillow.

Gifting? How many gifts have you received today from him? Starting from something little to something large? The most surprising would be him coming home with a pet for you.

"Ta-daaa! You've been saying you want a pet so I think you will like this!"

Quality time? Not a problem for him. He has a lot of time for you. Hm? Work? Better not question him further about it. All that matters is that it's enough to give the two of you more than enough, even allowing the two of you to laze around. (Unlike Yan! Lawyer Husband and Yan! Antagonist who barely has any time for darling pfft-)

Yan! Boyfriend who is practically on his knees like a dog waiting for his treat when you are about to do something ✨️ r o m a n t i c a l ✨️ on him. Say who's a good boy and you could have sworn you saw his non-existent tail wagging excitedly.

"Who's a good boy hm? Who's a gooood boy??"

"Me! Blue! Blue is a good boy!"

Well, at least he is now because he wasn't when you first met him. He's changed a lot just for you, didn't want to disappoint you the next time you see him.

Yan! Boyfriend is the guy who you can really depend on for everything. Financially? Yes. Wanna beat the fuck out of someone? Call him and that person will have a taste of all the martial arts he has learned back then, not to mention he was quite the delinquent back then. Mentally? Yes. He's always there for you, either making it worse or better.

Yan! Boyfriend who likes to show you off to his friends and co-workers so much as though you are his prized possession. The hand that never leaves your waist and the dagger he shot at the people who stared at you for a bit too long are threatening enough to scare them away. Will definitely have a separate chat with them later,

"The fuck you are looking at my love for hm?"

Ignore how their nose is red and bleeding okay? If only Blue was able to do more, he would have had his fist buried into their face even more and harder like in the good ol' days. Has no choice but to be good else someone might rat to you about his behavior again.

Yan! Boyfriend who really likes to sleep on your lap, being able to feel you this close just makes him feel all giddy like a teenager in love. Would litter kisses and licks if you are not wearing anything that covers your thighs.

Yan! Boyfriend who will almost have the same taste in music as yours because he's just like that. Sucking in everything about you and ends up liking it.

Yan! Boyfriend who will vibe with you nonstop. If you are the crack type person, he will just be as crack as you, making people think whether the two of you are high in crack or not. Will always make you feel like it's okay to do anything you want without having to be embarrassed. Too shy to sing? Well, watch him scream his lungs out (Lemon and Grape chilling with ear muffs) and his hand motioning you tag along.

"BABY WON'T YOU LOOOOVEEE MEEEE"

"What do you say we gag him up with the mic?"

"Great, I'll hold him by the neck."

Yan! Boyfriend who really loves watching you sleep. No, he's not a somnophilic bastard like Yulian. He just adores seeing you resting so peacefully. (while Eleanor panicking over darling sleeping)

Yan! Boyfriend who enjoys cooking breakfast for you. You'll wake up greeted with him standing by the kitchen or sitting by the dining table waiting for you to wake up. Hm? If the food has gone cold because you woke up late, he'll just reheat it. Nothing biggie so no need to feel bad about it ^^

Yan! Boyfriend who is always keeping his mental state in check just in case it cracks open the ugly side of him again. He's embarrassed of it yet he is grateful for it because it brought the two of you to meet. Just staying next to you is enough to keep him sane so try not to stray too far from him okay? He might really snap again and the place you once called home might be nothing but ruins.

"Love you... dear."

Yan! Boyfriend who hates being away from you! If his work suddenly requires him to be somewhere away from you, he will bring you along with him! (I might make a chart of the difference for all the LIfE Pro casts)

"Almost feels like a vacation eh? Let's visit this place once I'm done with work love!"

Although he always brings you along, there are times when he'll have to leave you with Lemon or Grape, either asking them to stay with you or you stay over their place.

"Try not to dent his sport car again yeah? He was yapping at me for hours ahaha! I will ask Grape to watch over you as well, she'll do well as your nanny. Hm? Not a little kid anymore? Oh no no, better be safe than sorry. Don't want those nasty ghosts keeping you awake during the night yeah?"

Afternote:

Blue is my second favorite! Yulian has always been the first so no one sees Blue that much... he's just so sweet... although the story he shares with Eleanor tangles everything up...

[key2earth]

hi hello & happy happy opening! i'm blue & this is xie ziying, local night terror edward cullen haunting the halls of sua! art student, red hall girl gang stan, & proud owner of a pretty pair of pearly whites that she's putting to dentist unrecommended use outside of regular class hours! here's a barebones profile & more info / plots under the cut, pls like to plot or ask for my d/scord & i’ll be there! 💗

*tw for discussion of blood is marked out in the intro with brackets!

info

addressing these first: her teeth r sharp & she drinks blood... the vamp allegations r true. ( /hj. u will see )

anyway!! she mostly lived a fairly normal life, insofar as having 3 outta 4 ( now 2 out of 3 ) of a family being anomalies would be normal? has a big bro in huitian but their abilities are as different as they come, so the anomaly gene sure is abnormal!

she's always been the black sheep of the family, but only in the way that someone who's unconditionally loved can act out? like deciding to play the violin when you come from a family of pianists, before abandoning that all together, & being the sibling whose teachers keep calling... but the point is. she's grown up being loved by her family, & that sense of self & safe harbour has pretty much tided her through what would otherwise have been some awful memories

those & her chompers it's hard to fight someone if they're willing 2 mike tyson u

speaking of teeth... they're sharp i'm not kidding! has nicked herself many times, but this was also how she figured out how her ability works. pure trial & error & teething pains

so how do those powers work? ( tw blood mention ) basically, a lil sip of blood gives her a power up! if it's her own blood, she gets physically stronger with enhanced condition. if that sip comes from someone else, she adopts/transforms into one property from them, though she doesn't get to choose which! ( tw end )

she's completely fine with her ability & down to use it when needed or entirely unnecessary, though the fact that the fun half of her power is a random grab bag is sometimes to her detriment. she knows this because she's gotten someone's sleep deprived mental state once when she wanted their cool colour-changing irises 💔

at sua bc they had really effective advertising & her grades + power combination was bad enough that she was applying to any college that might take her in. swears she didn't mean to tag along w huitian but she did apply to sua... so...

art student, which means being on her sixth can of bacchus at ass o clock & permanent eyebags, having the worst style intentionally & calling it avant goth

applied to be evo's treasurer but doesn't believe in 'the cause' or wtv that is. she j wanted to mooch money off them. its working!!

personality deets she's got that libra sun ( i see it i like it ) taurus moon ( i want it i got it ) scorpio rising ( goth ariana )! we're starting off goth, but she's unsrs about it. only emo 4 the aesthetics. might be a stoner gal & attends all the house parties when they have good greens. very chill & laidback, lowkey doesn't care about anything until it comes to her art or her ego, then her secret perfectionist self rears its big head! likes a good puzzle but would never help someone else solve one even if they were struggling. lives mostly in the twilight hours & naps thru class. could be spotted on your roof today!

chara inspos are sunny baudelaire, himiko toga if she had a loving family, vampire vibes really

plots

writing that intro has emptied my brain & i only have the usual suspects: besties, enemies, fwbs, exes! red hall hot girls & ppl she's pissing off at evo bc the funds keep disappearing

will update more but i love a brainstorm too we should do that 💗

[spiffysoultarot]

Pick a troll: what needs to be cut off this Spring? 🪓

1. Polka dot painter troll//Modern Witch

First question: what is the context of what needs to be cut off this Spring?

Lovers, 2 of Swords (R)

-big decisions, delays in making those decisions, wanting to take inspired action but not knowing what you want

Second question: what area of life does this indecision pertain to?

Sixth house, Pisces, Mercury

-Mental/spiritual state, illness, bad fortune

Third question: what advice will help bring peace to the situation?

Two of Cups, Two of Wands (R)

-get clear on what you want, set goals, take inspired action that aligns with your soul

Is someone here terrified of making a decision for fear of making the wrong one?With both the 2 of wands and 2 of swords reversed, this speaks of indecision and delay.

Just like the Helm of a ship needs direction to get to a desired destination, we as people need a goal/destination to aspire to or we will simply wind up wherever the tide takes us.

Ground your goals/ideas and manifest them into the physical present by first being clear on what exactly you want. Make sure that these things will fulfill your needs/desires and match your values.

The 8 of wands is quick, inspired action and I feel that is the energy needed here. The problem with not making a decision, is that eventually that in and of itself becomes a decision. Action taken, no matter how small, will prove that you are capable.

Make that list. Then make another one, each one getting closer to what it is that you truly want. Trust will start to build within yourself and soon a solid foundation will form. Do not be afraid to make mistakes, to be wrong, to be human. Make adjustments and move forward wiser.

I heard “animation comes to life” and saw Mario transforming to a human. Our dreams can become reality. Our creative ideas can come to life. But we have to give ourselves unconditional love, patience and compassion. And sometimes we have to make difficult decisions for our best self that may not be what our ego would choose. This is where faith comes in, where intuition takes hold.

Hermes brings Divine messages and can easily transfer between the spirit and material worlds. Perhaps there is a Divine message waiting for you, if you get synchronicities a lot or if you yourself pull cards.

Someone is definitely a Gemini rising. (Not Virgo though, that was clear.) Or first house Mercury, where it has its joy. Which, I know, Mercury rules Virgo and Gemini but sorry Virgo rising this is not for you, lol.

🎶 And this is how it ends, a courageous boom🎶 Stars and Moons- Dizzy

Numerical synchronicities:

The Lovers —> 6

2 of Cups, Wands and Swords all pulled 2x3=6

6th house on dice

666=18=9

2. Rainbow mohawk troll//Rider-Waite

Question one:: what is the context of what needs to be cut off this Spring?

Heard “it’s out of my hands” from Breakfast Club when looking at Hanged Man

So many interruptions just getting this reading going//

I wanted to meditate first to see if anything came through and a minute in, beeping started from nearby construction. Then as I started working, I got interrupted by a spam text. I felt so exhausted/tired starting this reading like I was a. Surprisingly working made me happy but I just did not want to do it — like a machine that was off/inactive, flicked on only to be working parts. It was a strange, polarizing feeling. {my point here being that sometimes interruptions happen to redirect us to where we need to be. Just go with the flow and follow what cooperates and feels right/brings joy}

Hanged Man signifies trials and tribulations, a need to be discerning, sacrifice, a time to trust in the universe. It is upright which tells me you are in tune with your soul at this time and a very independent thinker.

Aqua vibes, obvi, look at our lovely troll for today. Someone who is not worried about falling in line with society and the sad status quo of our times. Six of Pentacles (R) tells me of the wealth gap in our society and the dysfunctional, unsustainable state in which our American economy is at this time. Straight up humanitarian vibes here. And I am with you.

Greenery/leaves keep sticking out to me on Hanged Man which is now reminding me of money. Greed is signified with Six of Pent (R) and the yellow-caped fellow’s hands.

They are positioned in such a way that the coins would slip through their fingers if they don’t close up the hand quick enough to catch it. FOMO-type vibe in regards to riches.

Second question:: what area of life does this dynamic exist, what kind of energies are associated with it?

North node, Leo, Second House

I left Leo and 2 as they came out because they were so perfectly upside down, I felt it was relevant.

Alright north node tells us what we mastered in previous lives and those with Leo NN likely lived in fame/riches, especially with the second house showing up. I think what needs to let go of is the belief that money will make you happy.

Leo reversed on the zodiac wheel is Aqua, and opposite the second house is eighth, someone here definitely has Leo NN/Aqua SN in the second house. Focus on making your soul happy and things that interest you. Get out in nature, stop trying to save the world and enjoy your time in it.

Question 3: any advice to help heal the this “need for greed” and forgive those that still have it?

This whole society is obsessed with money and why wouldn’t they be? The wealth gap is enormous and working for the remaining 99% is resembling forced labor. To survive in this society means to work. If you are not generating income and tolerating toxic work environments to the detriment of your health with only your overpriced, shitty insurance to rely on, then you deserve to be cast out. You are a pariah.

Excuse the long rant. Wow, pile two, you must be a fellow 9 and/or strong Aqua energy. Okay to the cards…

Four of Swords (R), King of Cups at bottom

I was getting four of swords vibes at the beginning of this reading; a need to slow down, get out in nature, absorb some sunshine. Wisdom, discernment, prudence, not taking unnecessary risk. Feminine energy; being patient and waiting vs action/go-getter energy.

MOONday is upon us which is feminine and confirms this.

There are no wands here so action is not needed. Limited beliefs regarding money; it’s time to let them go. Be the change that you want to see in the world. Be the fair, balanced and wise leader you were meant to be. Lead by example.

Trust that the universe will provide you with everything that you need. If you don’t feel that way, try breaking up a sweat or coloring.

GRATITUDE LISTS, they literally rewire your brain for happiness

Wealth is not just about money, health is wealth too. Simply having good health, autonomy, freedom and basic necessities is an incredible blessing not provided to all.

Numerical Synchronicities:

12+6=18=9

14+4=18=9

I associate 14 with the King, just counting up from ten.

Six and four are both “sides” if you will as five. Five signifies chaos, which tells me you are quite literally on the outside of chaos. ✌🏻

Four and six are both on the physical realm so maybe moving physically through walking, hula hooping, Tabata, yoga, sky diving.

3. Homemade dress troll//Santa Muerte

Question 1:: what does pile 3 need to cut off this Spring?

10 of Swords (R)

I was seeing an antelope skull in the desert when looking at the moth. I thought only one card came out after this one flipped over but turns out there were actually two. Possibly a surprise in your future — I am just feeling really excited and jovial with this pile.

I got healing with this reversal of diez de swords — loud and clear. As in, a lot of healing that has been done.

3 of cups (R)

I prefer this cup reversed - it’s more alive, colorful and lively. Gives me the vibe that sometimes no company is better than bad company. Whoever chose this does not want to fit in with the crowd. Possibly even healing the part of them that was settling for low-quality connections in fear of being without a “crowd”.

And it’s not because you don’t want to connect or that you think you’re “too good”- have people told you this? But because maybe you are not the type of person that vibes with that many people. Some of the coolest people I’ve met in my life were those that were true loners.

Toxic connections that drain your life force and people/organizations with bad vibes will always get the boot going forward. Your health and happiness comes first, always. Continue to be uncompromising in this area, it looks good on you. ;)

King of Pentacles

Stability, baby. Yes yes yes. The vines are sticking out, reminding me of growing green beans or James+The Giant Peach.

Thank all your pain, unpleasant experiences, betrayals, and unfair treatment for the wisdom it brought you and then let it go. Maybe even write down some of the things you learned, some of your biggest “thorns” and burn them/tear up the page/set it down the river. Something symbolic but also physical since I am getting the vibe of a very cerebral person.

Celebrate all the ways in which you have healed over the years. Look at who you were ten, eight, six years ago — look at the sort of treatment you allowed from those close to you. Were you ever actually happy, or just chasing the next external validation pursuit? Are you happy now? Is your approval enough? Give yourself some credit and compassion for those issues that still need working out.

Question 2:: what area of life/what kind of energies are associated with what needs to be let go?

Taurus (R), Neptune, Fifth (R)

The limiting belief that creative type careers cannot make a stable living. Possibly limiting beliefs surrounding in general surrounding money and fun/creativity, like it’s a dichotomy.

Question 3:: what will help to heal these limiting beliefs?

Stop ruminating on your past mistakes. They got you here; wiser and with more fortitude under your belt. Sometimes we are the bad person in someone else’s story. Sometimes we do things we are not proud of. Sometimes we’re mean. Stop vilifying yourself.

You are a human. You are allowed to make mistakes. I am not saying it’s a free for all for bad behavior but I just get the vibe of someone who really beats themselves up for times they may have acted unkind, even if it was warranted and at times when it was not. Don’t forget about the remaining 95% of the time you are a beautiful, kind and compassionate soul.

You are nice where and when it matters. You are genuine and I love that.

Idk why but the speech Randal gives Dante in Clerks could be relevant — the “I’m not even supposed to be here today!” one.

Trust that everything you walked away from was for your best interest. If those people were for you, if that situation was for you… it would have happened. Timing never aligns with what our ego wants and accepting that is sometimes a lesson in and of itself. You are more than your bank account or some prestigious title. You are enough and worthy even if you do not have these things.

Allow yourself some time to let loose, relax, have fun, get a curse word coloring book. But just remember no matter what that you are a warrior queen and everything you need is within. And, yes, maybe you ARE creative!

Numerical Synchronicities:

You don’t care about that, do you?

But if you do: 1,1,7. Physical plane.

8’s came out twice for the advice. Since one was upright and one was reversed, this gives zero.

I counted the reversals as negatives. Honestly not a lot of numbers really popping out. Just a lot of canceling out in regards to the numbers. Coming back to one.

Like the Brian McKnight song.

[hillarysss]

random astro notes / roasts

do not repost or plagiarize or reword my work plz wosndodj ok thank u

painfully emotional bored, pls do not take this seriously 😀 this is not profesional of me but i’m bored

Cancer venuses way of flirting is “ have you eaten today??” no i haven’t, they treat you like a whole baby.. it’s kind of cute tho😋

i swear having cancer + leo in a chart makes someone very petty and dramatic exposing myself but it’s true

venus in leo were that bitch in high school that started drama but somehow wasn’t necessarily in it?? like they somehow still had a good reputation idk but y’all charm with people is through the roof amazing

having sun - chiron can make someone have very bad sense of worth like damn u hate yourself that much babe? if u have this aspect i love you pls don’t hate urself, i swear everyone i’ve met with this aspect had low self esteem :/ pls don’t i love you

why do pisces risings look like fairies??!?! like cute ones and some of them look like “🥺” i stg

cancer mars women def love to dream abt getting dominated

why do taurus women look so good with bangs?? i swear omg looking like whole models yall. LIKE I SWEAR EVERY TAURUS WOMEN OR PLACEMENT IVE MET HAS CONSIDERED GETTING BANGS AT SOME POINT..

scorpio mercuries scare me tbh they can literally ruin you with their words, they’re so sharppp

i’ve noticed a lot of women with pisces / cancer placements attract people especially men who wanna “take care of them” like no theyre an independent woman

why are people with venus in 10th so hot ok bye no for real y’all be so beautiful physically and the fact everyone knows this too and most of them deny it😀 like model agencies would love your ass

why do so many sagittarius moon have such low self attention span?😀 also it’s impossible to get them to do something they don’t wanna do they need the thrill & passion

leo moons... y’all are petty asf when someone crosses the line and i’m here for it

aquarius moons to the contrary belief of being “detached” y’all are too nice for your own good tbh

sagittarius risings have amazing hair, usually really curly or/and puffy too it’s not just the leo risings y’all looking like a whole hot babe and i’m here for it

libra placements have probably fantasized abt the perfect romance since young age theyre wayy more loveeeee sick than given credit for.. they always in the clouds too (especially libra moons y’all are too kind)

gemini moons.. yall r so intelligent?? like y’all are just wayyy too smart it’s hard to win them agaisnt an argument like you physically and mentally can’t

every gemini rising i’ve met had chubby cheeks? but their head shape was really round idk y’all cute tho like adorable

sun dominants and leo risings literally light up the room anywhere they go enough said, good vibes from them only🥰

why does everyone say leo placements are the most confident? every leo placement i’ve met rots in low self esteem, yet they’re so beautiful in every way😀

why do virgo placements get fixated on one thing and then leave it??? like they’re like one day okay let’s do this.. mission accomplished onto the next thing it’s like their ego boosts from accomplishments

a lot of scorpio venuses don’t get into relationships cuz they know ppl aint shit and their love out this world tbh

pisces venuses all they need is a chill smoke buddy just someone that will love them and chill with them, they rlly don’t have high standards

virgo venus culture is going on like 300 dates and still not liking a person

every virgo moon i’ve met was so nurturing??😭😭 like they the type to say “i’ll always be here with you and if you wanna talk ever”

cancer women placement probably attract men who want their mommy issues treated.. like no ma’am..

i wouldn’t suggest crossing or pissing off an aries moon, like do anything to mess with them and you’ll regret ur whole bloodline 💀

every capricorn moon i’ve met was really good with their money + purchases 🤔

why do cancer placements look so safe?? like they look like home

aquarius placements love really unique drawings or really unique posts especially on the internet, theyre the type to have a lot of blogs for every little unique thing

virgo mars are the definition of perfectionist!! but they also want things really simple? they’re not the type to go over the top

sagittarius mars are usually really protective over their friends, just something i’ve noticed but they’re really protective + they’re never scared to stand up for themselves or others

libra risings look good with anything venusian!! like lip gloss!!

i’ve noticed a lot of air venuses, especially Aquarius have considered an open relationship or it’s not completely off the table..

virgo mercuries are usually really honest or people usually don’t suspect them of lying + they usually have evidence or anything to back up what they’re saying

mars in leo probably fantasize about getting a lot of attention and pampering in sex lol or the complete opposite complete domination

i noticed a lot of scorpio risings / pluto in 1st struggle a lot.. but they never seem that way? they’re the masters of masking up things :/

leo risings tend to have really nice eyes that are glowy and kind of big?

cancer risings have the cutest round noses.. i keep simping for y’all LMAO

virgo risings look like fairies too but like garden fairies.. they look so youthful!

a lot of aries risings had freckles? a lot had rlly thin lips as well, with a REALLY pretty slim nose

aquarius risings are the ceo of having really nice thick eyebrows!! i swear omg 

sagittarius venuses are lowkey simps in love when they find that one person😅 they like to dream just as much as a pisces venus stereotypically does

sagittarius moons have really wild imagination!! they should draw their imagination, it’s really beautiful

cancer moons probably have felt their families emotions when younger or probably still do! cancer rules 4th house! they’re very sensitive to energy

12th house stelliums either sleep too much or NEVER sleep💀

uranus in 3rd people are the most intelligent!! like the stuff they say shocks me all the time🤔 how do y’all come up with these thoughts

a lot of virgo risings, especially the females were really tall! they should model tbh

aquarius moons like gemini moons when you’re close to them they said the most random facts “oh did you know that..” first of all how u come up with all this🤔

capricorn moon / rising women are so beautiful bye😀 every single one i’ve met had perfect face structure! like every single part of their face was so perfect kind of like they were designed?? not even trying to ego boost but y’all are beautiful..

why do pisces moons desperately try to love everyone and try to make sure everyone feels included? tbh not everyone deserves ur amazing energy

gemini placements ALWAYS have a comeback to things 😀 at this point don’t bother to win them in an arguement

why do water placements purposely put on sad music 💀 i noticed a lot of water placements are sometimes “addicted” to being sad 😀, enough said these babies fr absorb everyone energies :/ it’s important they’re with the right crowd

cancer rising women & libra rising women have the most beautiful plump lips 😀

leo risings & placements love jewerly?? they love having things that represent them a lot! maybe even tattos

I’ve noticed virgo placements after socializing they need a “time out” from the social world..💀

every fire moon i’ve met loves napping! like it refills their energy a lot! especially sagittarius moons

wanna make a libra placement like you? it’s simple.. worship them 😊

leo venus x scorpio venus in a relationship just screams intense love but passionate 😀

uranus square midheaven probably would get into a lot of scandals in their career if they’re not aware of what they say / do!

if a virgo placement compliments you, it’s REAL these people just don’t give out compliments! especially if it’s specific like take it to HEART

mercuries in libras are so forgetful😅 every single i’ve ive met

cancer mercuries can be kind of passive when they’re angry in communication.. like they will be like “k” “ok”..

capricorn + gemini in a chart= someone that gets irritated from people’s idiotic acts easily 😀

sagittarius mars love partying?? like they’re amazing partiers

scorpio moons can “retreat” when they’re sad, some friends may not hear from them for a while. alone time is everything for a scorpio moon

[hanaonesflower]

This is how I see Haikyuu characters treat y/n when their insecurity is acne —

Suga

- the very reason why I will always have high standards for men

- makes sure he showers and is clean before hugging you and burying your face in his chest – bacteria? Not on his watch!

- asks his mom to make these soups for you and you know what, his mom loves you.

- I feel like he would ask Daichi & Asahi to put out a hit on someone if they were being judge mental towards you (idek just a thought).

Daichi

- hubby vibes (like Kuroo)

- he takes notes of all the skincare products that you used, i.e. which ones worked for you and which ones didn’t – so he can repurchase when you’re almost out (awe!)

- researches a bunch of SAFE diy skincare methods at home.

- ^ would test it out himself before kindly suggesting you to do it too

Asahi

- gently moves your hand away when you start to pick your face out of habit then kisses you

- actually would beat up someone if they look at you just a little differently

- lends you all of his headbands so your hair wouldn’t be in your face

- ^ says it looks cuter on you

- got into a skincare routine himself in parts to motivate you to not skip out on yours

Nishinoya

- literally does not even notice your acne at all

- he sees authenticity flowing through you and it’s hard to notice anything else besides that

- but he doesn’t dismiss your feelings or say things like “oh it’s not even that bad”/“you’re fine.”

- very sensible and playful with his words, reassuring and encouraging.

Tanaka R.

- similar to Noya but definitely a bit more mature

- I feel like he’s an empath; hes hurting too when you’re not happy about your appearance

- buys you really nice silk pillow cases and actively reminds you to change them out bc he hears that silk pillow cases help

- sincerely consults kiyoko + yacchi for advice

Tsukkishima Kei

- lowkey the sweetest boy ever.

- he’s not very good with words so he expresses his love + appreciation towards you when you aren’t noticing.

- strangely a believer in subliminals – would speak these really sweet subliminals he made just for YOU when he knew you’re already asleep.

- always reminding you to drink water & medication w/o making you feel like shit about it.

Kageyama

- this just came to mind but definitely asks his mom to help out

- he finds recipes & makes these antioxidants drinks & brings it to you daily! & I mean DAILY.

- overall a very quiet boy

- he would set these alarms on your phone without you noticing, when those go off, they would say something like “you’re beautiful today, yesterday, and for the rest of my days.”/“you are more than what you look like”/“beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, and you’re absolutely gorgeous.”

Yamagouchi

- definitely someone who is always afraid to say the wrong things

- writes subliminals and says it to you too when you’re already asleep

- he must really loves to watch you do your skincare – even when you’re crying as you put on moisturizer, he would stand up from the floor and give you a hug from behind

- leaves small notes on the mirror in the morning that just makes it a lil easier to start the day (இ﹏இ`｡)

Hinata

- also would leave small notes on the mirror in the morning

- INVESTS in skincare products so much that he lowkey became addicted

- he’s more of a sympath, he understands your sadness and does everything he can to relief the moment

- “I wish you can see yourself through my eyes.”

Terushima

- shame? embarrassment? Don’t know her.

- show you off to literally anyone

- 100000% always saying good things about you

- refers to you as a goddess (cmon, you know he would)

- defend you to the death if someone ever makes a comment regarding your skin

- goes to facial appointments with you & pays for it (yll know that shit pricey)

Oikawa

- from the outside looking in, Oikawa might seem like someone who cares a lot of physical appearances but that’s far from the truth

- maybe it’s weird, but he thinks that your acne makes you unique

- calls them remarkables

- just intuitively knows when you start to feel self conscious about the way you look and gives you these self love pep talks

Bokuto

- the biggest hypeman ever.

- he would call your acne “beauty marks”

- you hate it but he stares at your face almost for a little bit too long as his eyes get bigger in admiration

- reminding you that acne does not take away any of your self worth or beauty

Kuroo

- saw you cry twice in the bathroom over your skin & sat in the bathroom to comfort you

- tells you you’re beautiful on the daily, does not miss a single beat

- encourages you to still go out and sits thru make up sessions with you and admire you! (He’s more so doing this for himself bc he loves seeing you putting on and taking off makeup)

- very loving/sweet hubby vibes (that’s the feel I get with Kuroo honestly & Daichi)

[stayndays]

𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑 𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆'𝐒 𝐀𝐋𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐄𝐒 & 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃

time to dive into this hellhole of a series once again

if you haven’t read killer king, there are MAJOR spoilers in this post! you have been warned.

So! This was highly requested in the final survey of Killer King: to reveal the other routes if you didn’t choose the Escape Route. To start off, though, I first have to talk about something that was brought up multiple times throughout the voting boxes of Killer King, which is:

“Why is Jisung helping Minho/Is Jisung aware that Minho’s the killer/What is Jisung and Minho’s dynamic?”

Minho and Jisung, to say the least, is probably the most interesting duo in the series. They didn’t met before the party, but rather, at the party before the mansion owner was killed, and quickly formed a strong bond. You could infer that Minho wanted to pull in a party guest that would most likely stay and solve the murder, just so he has a puppet to control if things go haywire. Minho was also inspired by Jisung’s poem, which results in how his killing techniques were put into place. 

Because Jisung is kind of naive in this story, he ends up being manipulated by the killer himself, and accidentally becomes Minho’s #1 ally for the entire series. Minho grabbed the key from the mansion owner’s coat, and gave it to Jisung for him to protect, saying something along the lines of “If anybody tries to flee the mansion like a coward, they won’t be able to because you have the key.” 

Oh, also, Minho attempted to frame Jisung by leaving the white glove in Jisung’s bag. I’m like.. slowly recovering info from this series because I already forgot most of the plot.. October was a fever dream guys wheeze

But now, this duo leads us to our first route I’ll cover today! The duos all have a certain goal: Hyunin wanted to escape, another group wanted to kill the killer themselves, and another group simply wanted to solve the murder. This duo is different, however, because Minho is literally the killer. 

So the route would’ve played out somewhat like this:

You choose to align with Minho and Jisung, regardless of whether you lie or not

When the house fight occurs and everybody is split off into groups, you have the option to stay with Chan, Changbin, and Minho. If you choose this, you would get an additional chapter where you have the decision to come with Minho upstairs, or to stay behind with Chan and Changbin.

If you choose to come with Minho, you would be forced by him to throw a knife at Jeongin, who’s alone on the stairs. (this would’ve been REALLY fun to write)

Even if you chose not to follow Minho, as long as you prove that you’re truly loyal to him, he’ll eventually reveal to both you and Jisung that he’s the killer, and urge the both of you to work with him to eliminate the rest of the house members.

THIS IS THE FUN PART

Basically: Jisung doesn’t want to team up with Minho. Instead, he wants to try and kill Minho (I assume that Jisung has multiple reasons as to why he doesn’t want to tell the other members, probably because he has no evidence). As a result, since Jisung also trusts you, he tells you his plan, and now you have to choose between the two.

And according to my notes, no matter if you team up with Jisung or go solo, if you choose to betray Minho, you will die. It is impossible to succeed in this scenario. You have to team up with a murderer in order to win.

You could also try and convince Jisung to come with you and Minho’s side. Knowing me, I’d probably spin a wheel to see whether Jisung would agree with you or not LOL. If he doesn’t though, he’s gonna die. That’s that. 

So if you team up with Minho (regardless if Jisung is still alive or not) and the two/three of you are able to successfully eliminate the rest of the members, you win! And you get the ending “The Killer’s Sidekick” (even better: if you identity as a female and/or use she/her pronouns, you could be “The Killer Queen” :D)

The other two routes don’t have nearly as much info as Minsung’s route, though. One of them wasn’t even planned at all. Let’s talk about them!

Changlix’s Route: Kill the Killer

Basically, if you openly state to either Felix or Changbin that you’re also interested in killing the killer, you’d be put into this route!

In this route, you’ll tend to make more impulsive decisions without thinking straight (aka your choices will be pretty dumb) because you’re after blood, not justice.

If you kill the wrong person, that’s an automatic game over.

If you hesitate to kill Minho, he’ll kill you first, and that’s a game over.

And if you successfully kill Minho, you’ll get one of those “You won.. but at what cost?” endings, kinda like the ending you guys got! (it’s because you killed somebody, that’s why.)

Chanmin’s Route: Catch the Killer

I have nothing written down for this route. It’s pretty self explanatory. Find the killer, and trap him in a room until the police come. That’s pretty much the route, along with trying not to get killed yourself.

If you chose this route, it would probably be even more stressful than the escape route, and would probably be the most boring route to write.

If you have any questions, let me know! But now let’s dive into the questions you guys put in for the survey.

1. Was Hyunjin super suspicious in the beginning as a red herring?

I think they were all super suspicious in the beginning just so the reader jumps into the story completely blind. It wasn’t intended as a red herring, but it definitely could be to you!

2. Why does Felix and Changbin want to kill the murderer? 

Simple: bloodlust. I just needed that violent duo, y’know? 

3. Were Jisung and Minho conspiring together? If not, was Minho going to pin it on Jisung?

No and yes, that was his intention!

4. Why does Minho have a hankering for murder?

He wants revenge on his step father, the mansion owner, for neglecting him all those years. Also the dude has anger issues. Bad temper.

5. Why could Minho pass the mattress but not 5 guys?

He is immortal. He is god. He is- just kidding. He was probably doing something stupid and unplanned, like using the bathroom on the downstairs floor. That’s the best answer I can give you for now.

6. Why did Jisung decided to team up with Minho? I mean what benefit will he get from it if there is a chance Minho might even kill him too? and also did Jisung know that Minho is the killer king in the first place?

He didn’t realize he was teaming up with the killer, and if Minho did reveal that he was the killer, Jisung would most likely try to turn on him (and fail). Nope!

7. What was Minho's motive (was it just him hating the victim or was there something deeper)?

Both that, and probably bloodlust as well.

8. How did Minho get the white glove to blame Jisung later when he wasn't with us while we were searching the room?

He bought a fresh pair of white gloves before the party started. He also, most likely, placed it in Jisung’s bag before committing the murder without him noticing.

9. If we were to just body search everybody at once, would we find the throwing knives on Minho and just end the whole thing? (this was on my mind the whole time lmao, like why didn't we search OURSELVES too??)

yeah true ngl i can’t argue with that Knowing Minho, he probably has a bunch of knives hidden all around the house, secretly planting them here and there while mingling with party guests.

10. Were really 2 killer kings? 

Nope! Only Minho. There would only be more than one killer king if you ended up choosing the Minsung route. However, good idea! I should’ve thought of that.

11. Why in the hell was jisung helping minho like how did they end up as a team?

e x p l a i n e d  a l r e a d y. see i told you guys a lot of people were asking this

12. I still don't understand changbins fascination with the blood type.

This was an easter egg I was proud of but nobody caught!! The same blood type mentioned by Changbin (I think it was A?) is the same type Seungmin has! After a google search or two, I learned that blood types were passed down by family members, so if you arrange Seungmin’s family tree correctly, you’d learn that him and the mansion owner shared the same blood type, meaning that Seungmin is related to the mansion owner. Far stretch, I know, but I think it works out! If you figured this out, you would realize how smart Changbin really is as a scientist.

13. Why did jeongin light two matches?

Extra precaution! Also, he’s the youngest. He thinks fire is cool.

14. Was Minsung a team for the ~ Minsung Vibes? ~

It was not intentional at first, but then I realized the rest of the duos were popular ships in SKZ (minus Chanmin) so that was interesting!

15. Just in general why were the teams aligned the way they were?

Minsung - They’re good pals Changlix - For the bloodlust similarity Hyunin - They were both emotional enough in this story to want to escape Chanmin - It’s literally Chan and Seungmin, and Seungmin is close with the mansion owner

16. Which one was your favorite route?

MINSUNG’S ROUTE!! I wanted you guys to choose this one because it would so different from other murder mysteries!! But the escape route was my second choice, thank god.

17. Will you be doing another series similar to this next year?

90% no because of how physically and mentally draining this series was to write, but you can get a sequel if the finale somehow gets 50 notes! That won’t happen for a while. Just FYI. 

18. Did the knife in y/n’s hand ever come out or was it just stuck in there the entire time?

It was there the entire time until Hyunjin pulled it out at his house. I actually still don’t know if this is medically accurate or not, I literally had to ask my mom what to do in this situation. Our text messages went something like:

Me: If a knife goes through your hand, should you pull it out or leave it in? Asking because of a TV show  Mom: Leave it in and go to the hospital... Me: Ok thanks mom

I think that’s it? I still have a lot I want to talk about, but that information will only come out if people ask me! So come ask me hehe have fun. Thank you, so incredibly much, for following Killer King. It is my pride and joy, literally.

taglist: @desertofdessert @crscendoforsung @cotccotc @leggomylino @skzctnightnight @freckledberries @nizhonimoon @hanniiesuckle17 @binniesbabybear @tsuki-moons @lbxgsunshine @csbverse @mangoisawesome @peachyhan @worldtriiiip @golden–rain @bubblyjisunq @kimpchi @loey-letters @pokyloky @wherevermyway @avrea-tt @bossuns @sunoo-luvs @katherineee19 @ph0ebevix @qt-k1mb @444scb @grandmasterslickfox @k-pop-valda (now we can all abandon this series for good!)

[busanlove9597]

in case of unpopular opinion , 1) i dont know how unpopular this is but , i very recently saw one of the big km blogger mentioning the same theory . its about km rings.ys they maybe matching rings but members have lots of matching rings.to say they r promise rings / even engagment rings bought from tokyo etc etc are bullshit. the only fact we know is km does have some pairs of matching rings , even recently they are wearing matching rings for some events but that's it. 2) this is MY opinion, if someone cant accept a reality that there is a chance km may not be real or someone who does believe km is in a relationship but want them to act always like in romantic movies n if not going around crying km broke up can just stop "shipping km " now. its the best for your mental health . coz these r real people possibly in a real relationship they have good days n bad days, their fightings can remain for many days too, they r professional af , just because they r not screaming n fighting on cam doesnt means it doesnt exist , it does n they maintain their distances at those times , from my observation . N in those times u dont need to go to every km blog for reassurance , they also dont know anything more than u . also dont need to go n talk dirty about jk or jm when u think they r fighting , its their relatonship, they still love each other more than they love you even during the times of fights .

3) this is the opinion of a part of jikookers, but i also think km got evolved as "couple" by end of 2017. i know a major part of jikookers believe it happend in 2015. but from my observation n life as a queer person in a homophobic country , u just wont start a relationship or sail smoothly from the begining. u r going against a norm taught to you by society,u wont jump directly to confess even if ur crush for that person is shooting high , u will be confused af for ur sexuality or that person's sexuality, internalized homophobia may still be having its own influence on you that u cant complety accept urself or confess to the person . in some cases even if u will love n take care of that person n u maybe somewhat physically involved still u wont be able to define the relationship especially if its same sex relations in a country i live in. NO its not because ur r with that person to calmdown ur hormones but the hurdles u need to jump which r build inside u n by the society takes time. IT WILL TAKE TIME to be in a commited same sex relationship even if u love someone damn too much. N i think they reached there by end of 2017 or 2018. imo 2015 was the yr JK began to 'accept' this part of himself n start to make moves ( i believe it was jk to make a move first than wt youtube compilations shows us - the bold n flirty jm ??? ) n by end of 2015 both of them knew they like each other. for me 2016 -17 was yr of testing waters, getting to know both mentally or physcially , there were some insecurities or jealousy involved. yet i cant get vibes of a commited relationship there. ofcourse my opinion only , diff jikookers may have diff timelines according to how we see n percieve things. they had fair share of big n small ups n downs throught the yrs .they evolved n matured n we have today's jikook now.

hey, thank you so much!! 

i hope it’s okay to say a few things in response? 

re 1) rings: exactly, going as far as saying that they’re promise or engagement rings is a little...far fetched imo. i have wondered where this narrative is coming from? back then i went through bvlgari’s products to see if i can find those specific rings but i couldn’t. so either they were custom made, from an older collection or from (a) different brand(s). i know there’s this one picture that ppl love to recycle but i very clearly remember this was from a russian (?) website that wasn’t associated with bvlgari at all. and wasn’t there another pic of km shopping at gucci in the airport in japan that had sparked the bvlgari rumors in the first place? anyway. like you said, some members have matching rings/jewelry. it doesn’t mean they’re in a relationship lol 

re 2) “if someone cant accept a reality that there is a chance km may not be real or someone who does believe km is in a relationship but want them to act always like in romantic movies n if not going around crying km broke up can just stop "shipping km " now. its the best for your mental health“ THIS. i’d like to add that if your mood depends on km interactions or the lack thereof, it’s time to distance yourself. also, it’s very normal that couples don’t act couply all the time and most certainly not in professional settings aka at work which is virtually most of the time we see them... 

re 3) i think the end of 2017/2018 sounds reasonable, although i sometimes think that considering how difficult 2018 was for them, that perhaps they didn’t make it official until 2019 or. but that doesn’t align with some of the things that happened in 2018 so like...i have yet to make up my mind. 

it’s interesting that you think jk made the first move. it’s entirely possible tbh. i actually think that he came to terms with his sexuality way before jm did but perhaps that’s more headcanon than reality. 

depending on where you live being in a same-sex relationship can be someone’s death sentence and i don’t think enough ppl are aware of it. being queer on the internet is fun and games but being queer irl is different story. i grew up in a progressive country, i can’t possibly imagine what it’s like to be queer in a society that’s not as accepting as mine (despite that i’m not out to my entire family) but i am deeply sorry if that’s your reality. my childhood best friend is serbian and for as long as he was living with his parents he basically lived a double life. it took him living abroad to finally accept his homosexuality. i often read that if km are dating, they’re so lucky to have fallen in love with each other. are they though? being who they are there’s so much at stake for them and i just can’t see it as this fairytale love story that some like to label it. i realize this pov might be a bit more controversial so don’t come at me lol 

pls feel free to share more thoughts! 

[nonbinaryresource]

ive been thinking abt this for a little while & have been needing to ask someone abt it. i am nb & have always considered myself trans but recently ive not been vibing with the trans label bc i am so sick of seeing ppl exclude & invalidate nb ppl. ik that i shouldnt stop doing smth just bc other ppl r being assholes but its so tiring to see ppl constantly say how u dont belong or arent valid. srry this is long & kinda rambly i just dont really know how to feel abt it

I will directly address your ask, but I’m going to start by telling you a story about my journey with identifying as asexual and queer.

.

When I was about 11, my friends suddenly started drooling over magazines and calling people hot, and I didn’t know what it was, but I knew I did not feel whatever it is my friends were feeling.

Until I was about 16/17, this part of me remained a mystery to me and to my friends. I never had crushes, I never found people hot, I never liked complimenting people physically, I was uncomfortable with sex on TV, and I didn’t even like platonic touch. Now my group of friends were all repressed and closeted queer folk, so I didn’t have to deal with “being left behind” as my friends dated. But the later we got into high school, the more my friends began discovering and exploring their sexualities.  A freshman became a part of our friend group and was openly trans and gay. One friend came out as gay. Another as bi. They started commenting more and more about other’s looks and having crushes.

Still, there was nothing on my end. My friends used to think I was just being vague and secretive because this is what I tended to be like. I don’t think they’ve ever realized how much of it was that I truly didn’t know or understand what my lack of sexual feelings meant or that it could even mean anything. I used to just consider it a “nothingness” of myself. Until, by complete chance, I came across the term asexual. I immediately connected with it. It explained so much that I didn’t even know I needed explained.

I came out quickly after that and I was really excited and happy and proud to know who I was and what how I felt meant. My friends were great and supportive. My mom was a little ignorant but overall supportive. AVEN was great and a community for me. But if I tried to talk about it anywhere else online…

Well, the effects of how people treated me would fester for years. See, I came out as asexual before exclusionism (the specific movement of anti-aro and anti-ace erasure and gatekeeping from lgbt+ spaces) was a movement or a named thing. Yet exclusionist attitudes were exactly what I faced. My queer friends all completely accepted me as one of them and I helped co-run our school’s new GSA with the rest of them. But online, as a teen, I was facing 30+ year olds telling me I wasn’t queer and that I was just trying to seem special and that I needed to shut up about my asexuality and my experiences and that I wasn’t valid and that asexuality wasn’t a real thing and that even if asexuality was a real thing it wasn’t valid and it certainly didn’t matter.

I graduated high school and went to college and was no longer really in touch with my group of friends. I therefore completely cut myself off from any lgbt+/queer community, even though a friend invited me to join the college’s queer association. I stopped participating so much in online asexual spaces. I become wrapped up in other things.

A couple of years went by and a lot of things in my life changed. By chance, mod applications for a blog about aro and ace headcanons for a fandom I enjoyed came across my dash. I had extra time on my hands and thought I could help, so I applied and was accepted. This increased my exposure to the aspec community again and thrust me back in… just around the time exclusionism was becoming a specific and named movement of bigotry.

At the same time I resisted these ideals, I was also still hurt and unhealed from what I’d gone through as a teen. I internalized a lot of the hatred and gatekeeping. I was so hurt and so tired. I just wanted to be able to exist in peace. And people I considered myself one of were harassing me and dismissing even my biromanticism. So I struggled with my identity and my asexuality. I did not specifically become an exclusionist, but I turned my back on the lgbt+ community and spaces. I did not consider myself lgbt+ because I learned that doing so only brought pain and upset and made me feel alone and isolated. I didn’t speak a lot on exclusionism or inclusionism, but at some point I did make a plea to my fellow aspecs to just let the larger community go and be our own community and accept that maybe we could be straight. I did it out of desperation and hurt, wanting to stop feeling targeted and attacked and to stop seeing the fighting on my dash and in the tags. I just wanted us all to be happy and feel accepted and supported.

On that post, one wonderfully kind and patient person opened up a discussion with me, explaining their own hurts over exclusionism and being so damn exhausted of them and fellow aspecs being targeted and excluded and written out and not supported and feeling like they had to split their asexuality from their other queer identities and how being asexual was a part of them and how it had strongly shaped their experiences, especially with realizing and coming to terms with the other parts of their queer identity. And through their raw honesty I came to realize… I had never stopped to process the harassment I had faced and the pain and hurt that cut me so deeply.

It was a changing point for me. I realized that I had handled my pain in a bad way and had ended up lashing out at other aspecs instead of the people who were actually hurting me. I realized how much I had hurt myself and held myself back and cut myself down and dismissed parts of myself trying to fit into the box exclusionists had laid out for me, as if I could ever made them happy enough to stop harassing me and just let me exist. I cut myself down for them, but the truth is that exclusionists don’t just want aspecs “out” of the community. They want to hurt us. They want us to hurt. They want us to doubt ourselves. They want to feel strong and powerful, and they feel they can achieve this through bullying us. Perhaps some, like myself, are trying to appeal to their oppressors by pointing out another vulnerable group they could target more/instead. They are passing on hurt instead of standing up to it and so they are actually festering in hurt instead of changing anything.

Today, I am a staunch inclusionist. I understand myself and the issues aspecs face much better. I am a more compassionate person regarding the confusion and upset aros and aces have over their identity and their place in the world. I feel more stable and confident regarding my identity as an asexual - and now as an aromantic - queer person who is lgbt+.

But it was a long, hard, difficult journey to get here. It was full of a lot of turmoil. I wish I would have had a happier journey where I felt more supported and accepted, and I hope I can help provide more stability and support for future generations to not have to go through what I did.

.

My point (or one among a few, anyway) is that I deeply and personally understand how you are feeling and the decision facing you now. As someone who went through a very similar experience, my advice to you is to take care of yourself and to prioritize your mental health.

It’s okay if you can’t handle identifying as trans right now. Maybe you do need some space from the label (and definitely from the hatred and gatekeeping). Maybe you need to pull back from certain communities or blogs or discussions.

However, I will say that not identifying as trans may not bring the peace you desire. It may end up making you feel even more isolated. Not identifying as LGBT+ certainly didn’t help me. It was reactionary and it only made me feel like there were less spaces for me. That said, you may find peace in this. But I think the bigger action to take is to separate yourself from those who are saying harmful things more than to separate yourself from a label you feel really suits you. Use your block button liberally. Don’t force yourself to partake in spaces where gatekeeping is allowed or encouraged. Follow and listen to more people who are inclusive.

I think burnout like this is unfortunately pretty common. You do not have to force yourself to face this hatred or exhaustion because you think it’s the right thing to do. It’s okay to pull back and just take care of yourself. Just work on some self-care. Work on building up a community of people around you who don’t resort to bigotry and hatred and exorsexism and gatekeeping and identity policing. Engage only with what you can actually, honestly handle.

We will confront and move past this bigotry only by acting as a united front. The responsibility for improving things isn’t on any one person’s shoulders. And no one needs to be on the front lines 100% of the time, especially at the cost of their own wellbeing. Take care of yourself and rest now before you completely burn out and break down.

You do not have anything to prove, okay? I have both hope and faith that there is a lot more to your journey - a lot more good things and a lot more happiness and belonging. Take whatever time it is you need to help heal yourself and recover from the hurt and harassment that’s been plaguing you. You are important and you matter, much moreso than whatever label you use at whatever point in time. It will be okay.

I am here for you.

~Pluto

[loyolahcmass]

Homily on Blinding Lights by The Weeknd

This week Fr. Rossi will be talking about the song Blinding Lights by The Weeknd! Here is the preview of his homily:

"Blinding Lights": Relationships and Growing Up The Weeknd released his latest album, "After Hours" in March. One of the singles is "Blinding Lights." It’s a song with 1980s vibes that gets you dancing. __________ But what are the lyrics to "Blinding Lights" about? They seem to touch on his on again, off again relationship with a very special person. That would be the model Bella Hadid. __________ “After Hours” is packed with tracks about his previous relationships. Specifically, the second single, "Blinding Lights," mourns a love that got away. Take a peek at his dating history, and this becomes apparent. The R&B singer—born Abel Makkonen Tesfaye—is slyly, obliquely referring to his relationship with Hadid. __________ A synth-heavy pop song that makes you think of the “Stranger Things” soundtrack, "Blinding Lights" includes the following lyrics: “Sin city’s cold and empty. I can’t see clearly when you’re gone.” Those words are unmistakably about experiencing heartbreak, while lamenting what could have been with someone. __________ Interestingly, the lyrics are quite different in tone when compared to the first single off the album, "Heartless." In that song, he sings about being in bachelor mode. A cold, callous bachelor mode. __________ Check out these lines: "Never need a b****, I’m what a b**** needs. Trying to find the one that can fix me." WOW!!!! __________ Here, he's talking about his relationship with Selena Gomez. That disaster ended in October 2017 after nine months of dating. __________ He says he lost his heart and his mind. He tried to always do right by her. But it just didn’t work and he’s bitter and flailing out at women generally. __________ Not too mature, huh? But he says he doesn’t do well when alone. It’s quite a confession. He’s cutting close to the bone. __________ However, the relationship he sings about in "Blinding Lights" seems to have affected him differently. Hadid and The Weeknd broke up in November 2016 but reunited in May 2018 In the summer of 2018, reports swirled that they were back together, before they split up again a year later. __________ They were in different places, physically, spiritually, and mentally. Bella was prepping for her fashion and modeling commitments. Abel was working on his music and his upcoming acting debut in the film "Uncut Gems." __________ So, how could "Blinding Lights" be about Hadid? Well, the aforementioned lyrics about “Sin City” say a lot. Those words seem to reference the fact that without her to share his life, he can’t be level-headed. __________ Later in the song, there's a possible reference to the time they spent together during Hadid's birthday. It was in October 2019. He went out of his way to wish her a happy birthday and they eventually got together in New York on her special day. __________ There is no bad blood between the two and they are on good terms now. But there's only a slight chance of them getting back together. __________ Bella never wants to have any anger or resentment towards him, however. And he respects her for that. She’s teaching him how to be a caring human being. __________ It's these lyrics that potentially address his feelings toward her. "I'm just walking by to let you know. I can never say it on the phone. Will never let you go this time." In other words, he’s not giving up hope. __________ She’s someone special and he knows it. He cares so much that he’s willing, it seems, to let things between them stay platonic. This is a major step toward maturity for him; the lyrics give away his emotions. __________ They are definitely nothing short of swoon-worthy. He’s burning up with love for her. But he’s willing to wait for her; to give her time to fall in love with the new man he’s become. She’s what he’s been waiting for all his life. __________ The disciples on the road to Emmaus in today’s Gospel hear the Scriptures about Jesus interpreted in a way that has never occurred to them before. It causes their hearts to burn within them. It’s what they’ve been waiting for all their lives. __________ Jesus’ care and concern for them moves them to beg him to stay with them. It makes you think of the words of St. Peter to Jesus: “You have made known to me the path of life. You fill me with joy when I am in your presence.” __________ If The Weeknd decides to write another song about Hadid, I'd suggest he quote these words exactly in the lyrics. And I think he should start calling himself by his Christian name, Abel. Why? Because he’s become a lot more than just another weekend!

[leiasfanaccount648]

Techies are Better than Actors (2)

Tom Holland x Fem!Reader

This is for my entry to @astral-parker and @spideypeach ‘s writing challenge. I hope you all enjoy!!

This is a mini series so I will make the main masterlist for it when I have posted all of the chapters.

Chapter 1

Prompt: Theatre!AU (also includes slight college!AU but the main focus is theatre)

Summary: Art colleges are tough enough, but working an entire play for one of your classes is another thing. (Y/N) is stage managing a play for her theatre classes, and the teacher has decided to let another teacher have some students direct the shows. When (Y/N) meets Tom, possibly the next big Hollywood director, will their play crash and burn or be a campus wide sensation?

Warnings (for entire series): Language/cursing, slow burn, fluff, angst. Word Count: 1646

“Why is it 78 degrees at 9:23 in the morning? It’s the end of September! The fall weather should be here by now. If we have a sunny or rained out Halloween, I’m suing.”

“And who are you going to sue, Abby?”

“Mother Nature, obviously.”

“I wish you luck.”

As much as I do not enjoy early mornings, I will never get over mine and Abby’s daily routine to get coffee at the campus cafe near the theatre building. And since it was getting closer to October and Halloween, the seasonal drinks were back as well as the classic Halloween and autumn vibe like songs softly played through the ceiling speakers.

“Anyway, I’m finished with my rant about the current weather status, we’re starting the play today. How do you feel, stage manager?~”

Abby smirked and held out the ‘r’ of ‘manager’ for dramatic effect. She was one of the actors in my theatre class’s play and wanted to know all the behind the scenes since she’ll be onstage. It was almost she was the spreader of drama in the drama program itself. I shrugged at her question, looking off to the side and taking a sip of my caramel macchiato.

“I feel pretty confident about it. All of the actors techies alike seem to be good choices for their roles and jobs. But of course we haven’t officially started yet. Just wait till Tech Week comes around and I’m rushing around the building trying to get something done before the day of our performance.” I laughed softly at my words, looking out the window as someone rode their bike by the cafe. I’ve been involved with theatre since high school and know the entire process, at least for the basics (I don’t count elementary and middle school since they weren’t considered real shows and were only musicals of Disney movies or classic Christmas stories). Every school/teacher runs a drama/theatre club differently. In the end, they all end up in a havoc filled Tech Week and a (most of the time) calm show. I noticed Abby nod as she drank her pumpkin spice latte, seeming to want to hear any possible drama or gossip already going on. There’s always that one person who gets upset over not getting a part or not getting a part that they wanted. Or even getting a main role and getting upset that they didn’t get the side role they wanted (actual examples that have happened in my 7 years of drama club and theatre class).

Abby laughed along with me at my statement before speaking up about the matter. “That’s good to hear. I just wish I got a more main part of the show. I really wanna be able to make it big, you know? I figured that would happen after more people came and went of the class and the school entirely, but it’s still the same as always. It’s our junior year of college and we’ve been working with Mr. Fisk since we started here as freshman. I thought we would be doing great things by now. But we seem to still be in line with everyone else.”

Prime example of what I mean.

If there’s one thing I had to say about theatre, it’s that techies are better than actors. Not all actors act this way, but some will do or say the most redundant things. “What foot do I step out on?”, “What do you want me to do?”, “Everyone get out of the way! I have to have room for my quick change!” The list goes on really.

As for techies, they’re responsible for all the so called ‘magic’ on the stage: props being moved and off stage, lights set correctly by climbing up 10 feet or higher ladders, music/sound cues at the correct moments. Once again, the list goes on.

But they will also have their moments of thinking they know better than the actors. As long as they don’t get in each other’s way during the performance, everything (should) run smoothly.

As for people like Abby, they need to realize that every casting director for any show, movie, or play does not go based on experience. They go by who they think plays the part best, verbally and physically. Yes, experience is a good thing, but it never guarantees you a main role or a role at all for that matter. Everyone is considered equal until the auditions, and the director makes their final choices for the performance to make it the best they believe it can be.

I took a deep breath to keep from ranting those thoughts out loud. The last thing I need to do is lose one of my only friends I have by telling her the honest truth. “Well people are both coming and going into the program, we’re not the only ones who have been with the same teacher for over 3 years. Some have been here for over 5.” I say, trying to slip in some of the truth without actually saying it. However, it seems to get through to her that I’m right. She still looks somewhat upset.

“I guess. But I was hoping to be doing lead roles for every show by now, maybe even get an agent to help me with getting auditions with tv shows.” She shrugs, finishing her drink. “Maybe I just need to focus on what’s in front of me rather than head straight for the big leagues, you know?” She smiles sadly as she finishes. I can tell she’s still not happy about the class or the cast list but is becoming more mature about it. She’s been like this since high school and this always happens one way or another. At least she gets more mature about it each time it does.

I checked the time on my phone, realizing that I had about 20 minutes to get to my first class. Standing, I grab my backpack and drink while smiling reassuringly at Abby. “You’re exactly right, Abby,” not the entire honest truth but it’s still the truth that she needs to hear. “I gotta get going for class but I’ll see you this afternoon, okay?”

We part ways and I leave the cafe, still thinking about everything Abby was saying. I would say that I agree with her, but I love being apart of the theatre program whether I’m onstage for 5 seconds, the whole show, or not at all. It’s a great experience in general and you (tend to) make close friends (as long as they still do what they’re supposed to during the show).

Throughout the rest of the day, I still think about how today’s table read will go. For all I know we may not even do the table due to something else going on. In the end, it’s going to happen sooner or later, and sooner will be easier on me so I can start mentally preparing myself for who I’m working with.

As I head into the theatre building, I see other people from my class talking about how excited or nervous they are for the show. Some of them are transfers, others are people have been with the program or have just started this year but got scholarships to be in the higher classes of other 2 or 3 year students. There are also faces that I don’t recognize at all, most likely from other classes in the building. Art schools will never cease to surprise you when it comes to their students, they can literally be anyone.

I smiled as I saw Abby reading over the script and mouthing her lines to herself. She seems to be putting in the hard work already to memorize her lines. Hopefully she does well on the stage when the time comes. It’s not always about memorization.

I walked around the theatre to find Mr. Fisk so we can get started on the table read, but when I found him he was talking to someone else while looking over one of the scripts. I waited a moment or two before he finally acknowledged my presence. “Ah, (Y/N), finally you’re here. There’s someone you need to meet.” He gestures to the man next to him. I can tell by his nametag on his khaki pants that he’s also another professor at the school. Mr. Fisk continues speaking. “This is Mr. Rose. He’s the arts direction teacher on campus and we’ve agreed to let some of his best students direct the plays that my classes are going to be doing.”

Oh god.

If there’s one thing worse than actors, it’s student directors who have barely any idea on what to do for the show they’re directing. But Mr. Rose says they’re the best students so hopefully it’s not as bad.

I nod, understanding what’s going on and praying that the director I’m working with isn’t full of themselves. “Alright. Who will be directing for our class?” I look between both teachers, waiting for one of them to say something. Mr. Rose finally speaks. “One of my personal favorites, Tom Holland.” He proceeds to call this ‘Tom’ guy over. I continues my prayers as I hear the student walk over. I look over to the side before looking over at (who I’m presuming is) Tom.

“Am I needed for something?”

“Yes, you need to meet your stage manager for the show.” Mr. Rose gestures to me. “This is (Y/N).”

I smile and hold out my hand to Tom. “You ready to get started, director?” I almost smirk at the end of my sentence. Might as well try and make friends with him if we’re to be working together. Tom accepts my handshake, chuckling softly. I see the slight smirk in his smile as well.

“You can call me Tom, darling.”

[the-ghost-with-no-chill]

Oh Gosh... (Analogical Smut)

(This is to the one person who called me a precious bean.

Am I precious bean now? LMAO.)

(TW: School AU, Logan is a teacher and Virgil is a student, Student/Teacher relationship/f*cking, mentions of copiloting with a teacher) (I think that's it.)

It was a normal, calm morning. Ok, normal, yes. Calm, no. Why? Because a certain transferee, Virgil Dark, nearly had an anxiety attack, which caused him to almost get laughed at. Luckily, before that could happen, the teacher arrived in class. He looked like a very strick teacher. Neat dark brown hair, firm expression, all about him is neat.

"Good morning Students. I am Logan Croft, but you can call me Sir Logan. And I will be your Astrology teacher."

(Do you guys have separate classes when it comes to Science? Like, Biology class, Physics class, stuff like that? Cause in my school, we only have Science, like, all the branches of Science is combined in one subject. No offense if not.)

At that point, seeing how s t r i c k Sir Logan was made Virgil mentally panic. The teacher looked around for a moment.

"As you can see, your previous Teacher, Miss Jean, isn't here because she violated a school rule. So I will be taking her place for the rest of the year. Because I am new, I would you like you to stand from your desk and introduce yourself. Name, age and important bits only. Starting wiiiiith, you. In the back." He pointed to the Anxious student at the back. The said student froze for a moment till he stood up.

"Uhhh, Good morning sir. My name is Virgil Dark, a-and I'm 1-18." He said a bit softly, but loud enough for the teacher to hear. "Go on. What are your interests?" Sir Logan asked. "I-I like, uh, music, Panic! at the Disco is one of them, so is MCR, BMTH as well. And I do like, uhh, writing. It calms my a-anxiety down. Drawing is ok too, just, I don't draw a lot..." Virgil finished.

"Wow. Emo freak am I right?" A student laughed, which made the whole class laugh. But Logan didn't like any of THAT. The teacher grabbed his stick and smacked it on the teacher's desk. That caused everyone to stop and look at him.

"I'm sorry, but I do not like my students harassing another one of my students because of their choice of interests. That was fairly nice Virgil. You may sit down." He said. Virgil nodded, muttering a "Thank you" and sat down. As soon as the rest of the class finished introducing themselves (To Logan's disgust, everyone was way too similar.), Logan grabbed a Teacher's Guide Book from his bag, which was more Galaxy-looking and opened it.

"Today, we will be discussing about Meteors, Meteorites and Shooting Stars. Does anyone know anything about them? Anything?" He asked. Virgil raised his hand. "Yes, Virgil?" "Uhhhh, a meteor is a falling rock that's above the equator, while a meteorite is a falling rock that's below the equator."

(Correct me if I'm wrong. I forgot about this even though we had this, like, during first second or third period.)

"A bit lacking but Correct. Now, does anyone know what the tail of a meteor is made of? Yes Virgil?" "It's made out of Nitrogen and ice." "Correct "

Time ship bcuz I is DUUUUMP

Right after discussing the reasons why and how meteors fall, the bell has rang. Sir Logan placed down his book.

"Ok class, we will continue this tomorrow. You may move to your next class." He said. All the students left, well, almost all. Virgil was putting his stuff in his backpack when all of sudden a student took the headphones he was wearing. "HEY! GIVE ME BACK MY HEADPHONES!" Virgil said, trying to reach them. The student just laughed and threw them across the room, which caught Logan's attention, who was also fixing his things.

"Excuse me, Eric? I thought I strictly said not to harass anyone in this class. Would you like me to send you to Detention!?" He yelled. The student shook his head. "Good. Now get out of my classroom and head to the next." He said, making the student run out. Logan sighed over how stupid students can actually be. He saw the headphones that was lying on the ground and picked it up, inspecting it carefully. It seems to be spray-painted with a mix of Purple, Green and Black to make a strange beautiful mess and coated with some clear nail polish. And Logan must admit, they look well for being hand-made. Although, some minor scratches were imprinted into it, making the headphones look dirty.

"E-excuse me sir... those are mine..." Virgil said, motioning to the headphones. "Ah, I see. Here you go Virgil." Logan said, handing Virgil back his headphones. Virgil quickly plugged his phone in and wore it.

"I'm rather impressed at the work you did with it." "Ah. Thanks you sir." "Virgil? Are you ok? With this?" "Yeah... I got used to it... I'll be ok. I promise." "I see. If anything bad happens, let me know ok? I don't want you risking getting hurt." "Of course. Thank you sir."

Later that lunch, Virgil was eating outside the school underneath the school tree. It was quiet and peaceful, just how he liked it. He started thinking back during Science. The way Logan taught them, the way he acted. He was strict, but had a calm vibe to him. He was a perfect combination between fear and dreams. The idea of that made him slightly red due to the fact he just met him. Maybe they'll be close? Who knows.

Some time passed and soon, Virgil and Logan had became pretty close and apparently, like a cliche love story, romance insuese. Well, for Virgil at least. I mean, come on. The teacher's hot as f*ck who would NOT fall for him? And that is where Virgil had a bit of an oppsie.

Virgil was currently in his Science class, (Which is now his last class because a bullying incident came up.) reading whatever oneshot fanfic he had in his Wattpad Library when he flipped to the next chapter. It was a Teacher x Student chapter.

And not just an ordinary one. It was a smut Chapter and It involved some of his kinks too. And reading it made him a bit uncomfortable. Not because of the Student and Teacher thing, but because HE WAS IMAGINING IT TO BE HIMSELF AND LOGAN. And oh gosh it turned him on a lot. The way the author wrote how the student and the teacher slowly made out and f*cked each other out inside the classroom,where anyone can barge in but no. It was silent. It was... almost perfect. And good thing he was done because Sir Logan had entered the classroom already. Sighing and cursing himself up over his hard-on, he kept his phone and listened to the class.

An hour later, the bell rang, signaling that it was time to go home. Everyone but Virgil left very quickly. Virgil stayed behind to keep Logan company and help him with checking the student's papers.

"I swear. Even with me transferring classes...it's all so noisy." Virgil muttered, making Logan chuckle. "I must agree Virgil. They're all the same after all. And, of all the students I've met, your company has been a pleasure." "Thank you Sir Logan... I'm happy to accompany you as well..."

Logan couldn't help but smile faintly at Virgil. He really meant when he said that he enjoyed Virgil's company.

[lilacskyent-blog]

Breakfast with The Wicked Lady

Every day we see social media influencers, as well as anyone with a social media account, talk about how fake everything is. They rant about how everything is curated, modified with photoshop or facetune, and how no one is showing who they really are. This stance has always frustrated me because the way we present ourselves on social media is often times the same way we present ourselves in the real world when we want to make a good impression. This idea of trying to be our best selves, or even something as ill-conceived as “fake it ‘till you make it” was not born on social media, it’s something nearly everyone on the world does, while simultaneously craving something real. Michelle, a.k.a thewickedlady is one of the most real influencers I’ve ever encountered. Sitting with her via video chat, I feel immediately at ease because she’s normal. There’s no performance, no hyped up mess, just a really cool girl.

 Where did Wicked Lady come from?

Growing up watching Anime and Sailor Moon, I felt like I related very closely to the character Chibiusa, who is Usagi’s daughter who comes to visit Usagi from the Future. There’s a part in Sailor Moon R, where Chibiusa is convinced she is unloved by her friends and family, and she’s told that she is alone. This puts her in a really dark place and Wise Man turns her into the Wicked Lady. Growing up, I had a hard time finding myself and feeling very alone. I felt really unloved and I was in a dark place. But light was shed on me eventually and I realized that all these negative thoughts were not necessary and I should live my life to the fullest and be happy, and that’s also what helped Chibiusa return to her small lady self.

What got you into modeling?

It really wasn’t my initial plan to get into modeling, but I started when I was 18 and got serious when I was 20. I just started taking pictures when I had my pink hair, and my favorite hair dying brands started working with me. I started taking more pictures with my friends who were photographers and I grew from there. I did not do this on my own, I had a lot of help from my friends who helped me grow as an influencer and as a model and a person. I wouldn’t be anywhere without them.

Despite her modesty, Michelle is an amazing model. From the outfits she puts together to the poses the photographers capture there is pure magic in every image, even the silly ones that may or may not have been accidents. In my own personal modeling career, I pull inspiration from her work, because it’s not only beautiful but also carry an oddly perfect balance of elegance along with badass. Though from what I’ve gathered I’d say greatness with modesty is a fairly accurate way to describe Michelle. She’s absolutely incredible but doesn’t use her energy demanding you to tell her, or even acknowledge it. She’s just herself, just a girl with dreams, goals, and gifts like every other human being.

So along with everything else you have going on, you’re also a college student, what are you studying?

Currently studying Psychology, on route to receiving my bachelors, and eventually my PH.D. PSY.D in Industrial-Organizational Psychology.  Psychology has always been my favorite subject, especially growing up in an unstable home environment, I felt it would be best to learn more about mental health to help myself and my loved ones. People tend to forget that mental health is extremely important in living a healthy, and happy life. But because we can’t physically “cure” mental illness as we do with the common flu, I feel like it’s left unattended, or not taken seriously. We’ve all heard the term, “It’s a phase”, and in some cases, it really isn’t and leaves us more bruised and broken.

Mental health is one of the number one things we’re dealing with in today’s world. From loud, known cases like Kanye West, to the closed-off kids in the back of hundreds of classrooms who are feeling overwhelmed with anxiety, depression, or anything else. However despite overwhelming evidence of this challenge people still act like it doesn’t exist. People poke fun, or minimize the importance of mental health, but scream about mental health every time someone is taken from the world. It needs to be taken seriously, and taken care of.

What is the goal for you?

My main goal is to figure out myself, and create a path for myself in a way that is healthy and happy for my family and I. I don’t want to live a life dependent on money but I do want to live comfortably. In general, I would love to be able to make a difference and help people when they are feeling alone or in the dark. I know at times people feel really hopeless and let down and I want to set a reminder that people feel the same way and we should all be there for each other as a support system. (Enough serious time I also want to be the greatest pokemon master ever YAAAGGAA)

 The minute she makes this joke I break and can’t stop laughing. The fact that she can go from completely serious to completely ridiculous is so comforting. I find myself laughing not only at the joke, but at how nervous I felt when I was preparing for this interview. I’m laughing at myself for being nervous, for worrying that the real person would be different from the person on instagram, or from the Twitch streamer who will randomly stop playing a game and instead let her audience watch her bake cookies at 2am. We’ve become so used to the endless performance of content creators, that seeing someone who, it seems, is completely herself, is honestly disarming at first.

3 Breakfast must haves?

PANCAKES WITH CHOCOLATE CHIPS. (All time favorite food), Roasted Potatoes or anything with potatoes, and blueberry muffins!

Describe your perfect day

Honestly, waking up on a rainy day with my significant other and Goku(my cat) . A full 8 hours of sleep.  Not having to worry about drama or struggles. Staying in binge-watching the LOTR/ Hobbit Trilogy, drinking Hot Cocoa, eating everything and anything that I can that has potatoes and corn. (I’m a mess but I'm a SLOOT for Elote). and not having to worry about work/homework assignments in college. I’m a simple lass.

Rave or mosh pit?

Considering I used to go to a lot of concerts and got used to being swiftly kicked in the head in mosh pits, now I would prefer raves mainly because it’s a more loving and sweet environment and it’s a lot more affectionate.

Top 10 songs on your playlist right now?

Sunflower- Post Malone

IDWK - Dvbbs

Girls - The 1975

Kamikaze - MO

Take me As You Please - Story So Far

In Bloom - Neck Deep

From the Outside - Real Friends

Disrespectin’ - 88Rising

Bright Pink Tims - BlackBear

Ocean - Martin Garrix / Khalid

This playlist is available through Google Play on our blog!

 What advice would you give up and coming models to help avoid scam businesses/shady photographers? - Be cautious for red flags, pay attention to their “creative” ideas such as import/lude/ implied. If they don’t allow you to bring a friend during shoots. Check in with others who may have shot with them to get their input with their experience. Also - always meet in a public area and do not shoot with them in a private area. Try to shoot outdoors first, to see how they vibe during the shoot, and FOLLOW YOUR GUT FEELING. If something is off about them, cut the shoot short.

What got you into Twitch streaming and what do you enjoy most about it?

I used to work for a shady ass stream house with 10 other girls, and those girls turned to be the sweetest and most loving girls I’ve met. Although the work itself was garbage, it was the people who worked with me who motivated and inspired me to continue twitch streaming. I met such amazing and wonderful people within that house. <3 I love being able to get personal and talk to my viewers one on one, and I love making them laugh. If you’ve watched my twitch streams, I do dance parties in onesies because I know as much as it makes me look like a fool, it makes my viewers laugh and happy, and that’s all I want for them <3

If you could live in any Studio Ghibli movie which one would you pick?

Kiki’s Delivery Service or Mary and the Witch’s Flower <3

You're very open about mental health and your struggles with it. Was that always something you were open to sharing or was there a moment where you decided to do that?

I used to shut everyone out. I bottled up all of my emotions because I grew up being afraid of them. I was told to keep my head held high and never let my guard down. Showing sadness meant a sign of weakness to me growing up, but it just felt so inhuman to me knowing people feel the same way too and I couldn’t express it. I had a really bad experience back in middle school that completely destroyed me and my mindset. It was all because of social media. It tore me down and turned me into this monster who couldn’t learn to love herself. It stressed me out and brought so much anxiety. I figured, if ever I came back to social media, it would be to help others who felt the way I did. I don’t want anyone to feel like they were alone in life. I get it, suicide hotlines and phone numbers and therapists are provided for those who feel like they want to talk to someone. But in all honesty, it’s hard to find it within myself/yourself to talk to a complete stranger about your problems. It’s better to even talk to someone who you feel like you can trust. As a young adult, I feel like it would be better if I had open arms to those who need it.

 So I have to include at least one question about FBE and I have just one, important question: when they finish filming Try Not to Eat do they give you free rein? NOPE, WE CAN’T EAT JACK SHIT AND IT MAKES ME UPSET BECAUSE IT’S THE ULTIMATE TEASE. ( I love me some honey glazed HAM)

 If you haven’t watched the Try Not To Eat Challenge videos from FBE I highly recommend them. They’re hilarious, and Michelle is in most of them.

 Do you know how dope you are?

God No. I honestly think I’m way too dorky sometimes. I like having this persona on Instagram but being able to be myself and be goofy and fun as well. I don’t like to be serious, I really don’t. But I do have a feisty side when I see something I’m not okay with. I’m not really afraid to snap back if something doesn’t feel right.

Whether she becomes a therapist, psychologist, model, or anything else Michelle is destined for even greater and more amazing heights than she’s already reached. The world could benefit from someone not only as amazing as she is, but as honest and she is. I’m excited to see what’s next for her!

-Strawberry Smirk

[wayneaustin257-blog]

Struggling with focus? Guaranteed easy steps to help you out

Envision encountering your step by step work plan and to a great degree making a better than average endeavor to focus on your work yet then you are not prepared to. How bewildering is that! Would it be that your cerebrum is running low on fuel? To be sure and no! Allow us to see how.

What is Brain Fog?

A man makes a request regarding a matter you are to a great degree particularly acquainted with. In any case you find that you can't think about an answer with the run of the mill vitality you have. Or maybe you are dumbfounded and require a huge stretch of time to think about the fitting reaction. What you are experiencing is called Brain Fog. Cerebrum Fog is an ordinary term for brokenness you may association in focusing, learning, memory that may get brief episodes of perplexity, disorientated lead and disturbance.

So is getting jumbled or simply being disoriented the unequivocal sign of experiencing cerebrum murkiness? There are some increasingly reactions that credit to cerebrum mist;

1. Memory issues

2. Lack of mental clearness

3. Poor concentrating limits

4. Inability to focus on even the minor exercises

As watched subsequently the individual experiences discomfort and in that limit can't perform preferably at work or at home. Further this depletes the assurance of the customer and this makes the individual feel peevish. One should not disregard the signs and fitting gathering with a therapeutic master can empower a great deal. Getting help in genuine time can help in keeping any further effects of the issue.

What causes mind mist?

In causing mind dimness, extend is generally the key reason. Stress can bring another a lot of pains that may hamper your mental and additionally physical prosperity. Allow us to look at a part of the other definitely comprehended purposes behind the rise of Brain Fog;

1. Inadequate rest constantly

2. Hormonal change

3. Diet and sustenance admission

4. Some medications can likewise certain responses that lead to conditions like Brain Fog

5. Certain therapeutic conditions can likewise dunk in the passionate prosperity of the person. A part of these consolidate sickliness, unhappiness, diabetes, migraine, drying out, etc.

As the condition is an inside and out decided one, where you can perceive the symptoms clearly, as such the specialists routinely rely upon blood work for discovering help with the conditions. A blood test drove on the individual may demonstrate the going with key properties that immensely assists the specialist in giving you a diagnosis close by the right medications and dosage repeat;

1. Abnormal glucose levels

2. Poor kidney, liver, thyroid limits

3. Nutritional deficiency

4. Infections

5. Inflammatory diseases

By what method may we fight it?

Therapeutic specialists as often as possible statement that a couple of sicknesses are best treated in the locale of the house. Cerebrum misting is also a disease that one can manage at home;

1. Try napping for 8-9 hours step by step for satisfactory proportion of rest to your mind and body

2. Managing weight. This can be unstable as the present the truth is stacked up with factors that can add to weight. Know your hindrances and even more crucially where you need to procure your mental essentialness. Do whatever it takes not to misuse your time and essentialness considering and working for issues that don't require your most extraordinary thought

3. Stress can be a critical obstruction in helping the individual think unmistakably. This may every so often result in the individual being dependent on extending proportions of alcohol and caffeine. This should be avoided as alcohol and caffeine would themselves have the capacity to get more ailments that may be horrible to you.

4. Exercising can built up a body sans readiness. Exercise step by step and this will help in getting your body and mind in the right state.

5. Increase your admission of protein, regular items, vegetables, etc. A not too bad, well-nourishing eating routine can fuel the body for exceptional challenges where you may otherwise discover troublesome.

6. When in the comfort of your home, find pleasing exercises to do that will keep you had and not gain any negative contemplations.

7. Strengthen your scholarly ability to be set up to face the challenges with the objective that you beat the opposition

Beside all these, the restorative master far and wide likewise endorse taking drugs that assistance in the most ideal scholarly advancement and sureness bolster. These drugs should at any rate be taken after fitting remedial meeting. The medications we are discussing are Smart Drugs. Allow us to see how these smart drugs can energize the all inclusive community.

Smart drugs: Aiding you

Remedies are at present available that can bolster your psychological inclination and even give you conviction to work higher. Frequently called as smart drugs or Nootropics, these prescriptions might just be the dynamic part of today that pushes the overall public to go further and accomplish their destinations.

Possibly the most for the most part acknowledged smart drug is Modafinil. Modafinil is the world's first smart prescription to be supported by the Food and Drug Administration, USA in 1998 accessible to be acquired and use in various countries in including the United States. Regardless, as time passed, people comprehended the need a prescriptions that was better and could last more. Modafinil likewise has some minor responses. Would it not be mind boggling if one could find a smart prescription that could have the benefits of the smart drug close by having a diminished number of responses? Luckily, there is! The scientists found the R-enantiomer of the Modafinil molecule to be a doable response for the issue. This R-enantiomer was made to procure Armodafinil, the enhanced sort of the smart medicine compound Modafinil.

Much like Modafinil, Armodafinil too has observation extending properties. Likewise much like Modafinil, Armodafinil too has a couple of brand shapes that have their very own focal points over their Modafinil accomplices. A predominant brand variation of the smart medicine Armodafinil is Artvigil 150 mg. Before we go into what is Artvigil, allowed us to see the fundamental points of interest of Armodafinil over its harbinger.

Favorable circumstances of Armodafinil over Modafinil

1. Armodafinil or its subordinate drugs are known to be more ground-breaking than Modafinil

2. Modafinil drugs prop up for around 12-13 hours, while Armodafinil continues for around 15 hours

3. Since it is the R-enantiomer of the Modafinil particle hence a comparative element of effect can be felt by taking in a lower quality or bit of Armodafinil drugs.

4. These drugs also have a lower number of manifestations

5. Armodafinil drugs furthermore will by and large act quicker than other smart drugs.

The modernized age goes with its game plan of favorable circumstances for the customer. Online buy of solutions can be medium to get prescriptions that are common in quality. Distinctive points of interest like free-conveyance, sensible rates are moreover participated in the administrations. Over the counter medication shops are standard and as such require an answer from the specialist. Online medication shops don't ask for answers for first time buys or despite for refills. Buy smart pills online from the online stores for great medicines and more affordable rates than the over the counter shops. Much like other smart drugs you can buy Artvigil online at different online medication stores.

Mechanism of action of Artvigil

We will by and by look at the request as what is Artvigil and how might it work. The dynamic compound in the smart pill is Armodafinil. Armodafinil follows up on the neural connections (by and large Dopamine) and distinctive hormones in the body. Dopamine in the body is taken up by the synapses and in this way is endlessly conveyed and taken in at the reuptake point. As the compound in the Artvigil smart pill limits the take-up of Dopamine, the neural connection starts forming a pool like structure which is used by the body. Dopamine or the vibe incredible hormone of the body hoists the attitude and makes us feel alarm and dynamic for postponed time spans. Artvigil dosage hoists the person's assurance and grants him/her to go for the goals. Beside Dopamine, hormones like Norepinephrine, Histamine, and Serotonin are also helped in levels. The bigger measures of neurotransmitters, hormones give the individual the perfect abstract effect and diverse focal points that go along with it. For genuine results buy smart drugs online from reliable sources.

Side effects of the smart drug Artvigil

As ordinary with most drugs, side effects are extremely normal with the smart medicine Artvigil. A bit of the indications are;

1. Mild cerebral agony

2. Nausea

3. Muscular torment

4. Anxiety

5. Confusion, etc.

6. In some remarkable cases certain people experience negatively powerless reactions like seizures, etc.

It is exceedingly proposed that you visit the crisis room rapidly in case you go up against any of the responses or any discomfort to hold any further damage to your physiology.

Essential protections like keeping up a vital distance from overdose or misuse, enlightening your specialist about any prior medications, genuine eating routine can help in using the remedy for its suitable preferences. Consistently think about the sum Artvigil you are taking and instruct your specialist for any changes.

[swithe-ist]

OKAY TUMBLR LISTEN UP

Hi hello I'm a now ex-lurker who absolute loves the Cryptid Squad, though not necessarily the way they've handled the story's presentation. The episode today plus trailer has me absolutely frothing about what's to come so I'm afraid I'm going to have to dump all my stupid fucking jumbled ideas  right here........

'One Man and His God'

Obviously the god is Gaskell. The man is Hanssen.

And this story, this whole year's worth: it's Hanssen's backstory. All of it.

I read last week a convincing theory about how Lana was John's daughter, about Roxanna and the Two Bad Parents she's stuck between, the only thing that niggled was that Roxanna is such a new/blank character and David was such a flicker – we don't know anything about their relationship except that John introduced them and that he had dementia.

now I’m thinking Lana's identity is a red-herring. A pretty good one too, I think, despite how boringly presented.

After this ep's Albie's convo: she absolutely nailed it on the head when she sussed that John had deliberately seperated her from Henrik. She also sussed that Lana wasn't the first. He's been at this... thing of his a long time. He said it: it's his life's work.

“He's coming here because of you, Henrik. And this team. Because of what you've fostered.”

During the autumn trailer, there was a flash of a dream-sequence where John is telling Henrik that 'nobody dies today'. Whose fantasy this is is a toss-up (favouring it being HHs), but I think either way it's significance is not hugely altered. Neither man fantasizing that way is a good thing. But consider: ever since G got to Holby, how H has been deferring to him all the time: “Actually I came here to see John.”, “What does John think?”. How hesitant to question him, how he felt he had to apologize to him last week, when he yelled at him in that weird scene in the lab and then abruptly walked off.

WHAT IM GETTING AT:

Clearly this flashback ep is going to reveal that G has been Svengali-ing the two of them their whole lives. We know Hanssen suffers depression, and that being known, I reckon G wasn’t completely fabricating R’s mental health issues (though they haven’t been mentioned before). I read someone somewhere remark that R & H were talking like cult-members about him, and honestly.......

(lol Jac’s “Hanssen dancing around oompa-loompas like a child who’s just found out Willy Wonka’s coming to stay”)

Season 19 build-up?

It has struck me how like to Dominic Copeland that G physically at least has been made. Athletic, the curly hair, the hair-cut even and the piercing blue eyes. I'm feeling like I have to also point at the whole Isaac SL, how Hanssen percieved what was going on. A reverse Gaskell-ing.

Fredrik and his Coincidently Also-Deadly Research was Gaskell too, I reckon, while he was off globe-trotting. If he knew HH then he knew his history, his father’s Biotek corp and of H’s obviously equally vulnerable son

Honestly I think Henrik became the secretive, intimidating, inscrutable Mr Hanssen because of Gaskell. That's the endgame. Maybe I’m stretching it with the S19 shit, but hell, I’m thinking about the Sahira Stalking Shitshow now I’m writing this. And his attitude to Ric in S13′s “The Second Coming” (*cough*)

I confess to also thinking there’s a deeper gay-ish thing between him and G, one-way though prob. And maybe not even realized by G. Isolating HH could have merely been because he was more malleable. This is more Dom-HH vibing, but I’m thinking back to the boat-sailing. And the small scene where he observes Dom pining over Arthur.

It’s fascinating but also bleak as fuck and makes me wonder what they plan to do with Hanssen after this SL wraps. ‘Screaming across a lake’ worries me though.

Anyway, lol, hit me up with your theories I need more fuel for my dumb soap love.

[shemakesmusic-uk]

Everyone needs to have Maja Kristina on their radar immediately. She is an incredible artist that is straight out of our pop dreams. Her whole self-titled EP is absolute perfection. Maja has released the song ‘Jessica’ off her EP as a single, and she couldn’t have made a better pick. ‘Jessica’ is a new take on a breakup song that we hope to see much more of. It’s written with the mindset that the person that cheated is at fault, not the person they cheated with. That is the mindset everyone needs to have! Maja sings, “Cause she seems really nice, and I think in the end, Me and Jessica could be friends.” We love to see women lifting up other women, instead of adding to the teardown. It’s a breath of fresh air. Normalize shaming cheaters, but not other manipulated women. [via The Honey Pop]

Lucia & The Best Boys have shared a new video for ‘Forever Forget’. It’s a cut from the band’s recent EP The State Of Things, it arrives alongside the news that their upcoming support tour with Dream Wife has moved back to 2022. Speaking about the video, director Rianne White says: “'Forever Forget' is a landscape of a feeling. Lucia and I wanted to create a piece of choreography that exists in a solo otherworldly space shaken up by an unsettling sensation of feeling trapped. Guarded by multiple camera perspectives, this movement sequence is shattered like a mirror into pieces and dominated by a blinding sensation of overwhelm, refracting the internal electricity of the brain into view. This video is a portrait of inner turbulence, liberated by Lucia’s untamed and magnetic expression of self. Frontwoman Lucia Fairfull adds: “The 'Forever Forget' video concept has kept completely true to the meaning of the song, 'Baby you've taken me to higher places. It hurts if it's just in my head', is the first lyrics of the chorus. The video portrays this with an other-worldly head trapped space, along with the choreography expressing a state of wanting to escape your own mind and thoughts. The lyrics throughout speak directly about wishing you still had what you once did, but having to face the reality that it is no more, and then trying to erase the memories from your head and move on. Making videos has always been one of my favourite parts about being an artist and over the last year I’ve really detached myself from the idea that I need to be perceived in a certain way and have enjoyed being more adventurous with Visuals. I have imagery almost as soon as I’ve written a song so bringing it to life, and creating different characters to go with them is something I really feel helps to get across what I'm saying. I couldn't have brought these ideas to life ('Perfectly Untrue' & 'Forever Forget') without Rianne and Furmaan, and can’t wait to make more with them.” [via Dork]

Foxes has returned with news of her forthcoming EP Friends In The Corner, alongside sharing new cut 'Kathleen' to accompany the announcement. 'Kathleen' is Foxes' first release of 2021, and follows December's 'Hollywood', which will appear on her upcoming EP alongside last year's 'Friends In The Corner', 'Love Not Loving You' and 'Woman' singles. The new track is produced by Courage (Stormzy, MNEK, Ray BLK) and Charlie Hugall (Halsey, Florence and the Machine), and is an ode to her grandmother Kathleen. Foxes, real name Louisa Rose Allen, says of the single, "My grandma, Kathleen, has always given really good advice so on one visit I thought, ‘why am I not recording this?’. A couple of weeks later in the studio I happened to be going through my voice notes of random melodies and lyrics I’d saved and stumbled across her words of wisdom and within 20 minutes we’d written it with all her advice from the notes. I kept that exact recording of her talking at the end of the song. I don't think I’d be a songwriter without her." She adds, "For me, 'Kathleen' closes the chapter of the last year. Focussing on creativity during lockdown has been essential for me – it’s given me so much strength and positivity. Almost without realising, I ended up writing a whole new album. The new songs have a really different energy and need to exist together as a record. But first I need to release 'Kathleen' as it’s such a special song for me and just seems so right for now. It felt right to wrap these songs up together as an EP before the new album gets released later this year." [via Line Of Best Fit]

The Sydney-based three-piece Middle Kids release the cinematic title track and video from their hotly anticipated second album, Today We’re The Greatest, out now via Lucky Number One. 'Today We’re The Greatest' features a heartachingly beautiful performance from lead singer Hannah Joy and showcases the juxtaposition of her compelling songwriting. The grandiose and romantic notion of the song’s title is offset by the repeated refrain “life is gory and boring sometimes” which both closes the song and also the album – reveling equally in the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. About the song, Hannah explains: “This is a simple song of people being TINY and our lives being FLEETING but in that we are EPIC and GREAT. It’s finding the beauty and majesty of the every day. Therein lies life and meaning. LIFE IS GORY AND BORING SOMETIMES: it’s both hectic and mundane and we have to accept both.” 'Today We’re The Greatest' is accompanied by a stunning music video directed by W.A.M. Bleakley and filmed on the Kiama costal path in Australia.

Pacific Northwest native pop singer ALITA has released her new music video 'I’m Not Your Mother'. The video is a 50's inspired homage to empowerment and subverting antiquated gender roles. It was co-produced by ALITA & Zach Nicita (VERITE, Anne Marie, MS MR), and co-written by ALITA & Grammy-award-winning songwriter Jesse Saint John (Lizzo - Truth Hurts). “I wanted to create a visual world that put the song into a little more context," exlplains ALITA. "The song has a lot of classic & almost retro influences, from the old movie voices of women to the genre-blending pop, r&b, soul production. I wrote, ‘I’m Not Your Mother’ as a reflection on my own relationships, but I also know how shared of an experience this is for so many women. I see it every day in my friends' relationships, in my own family dynamics, in media. It’s constant. So we pulled in moments from old movies & tried to sprinkle in some history into the song as well. For the video, I wanted to honor the sonic storytelling with an exploration of the modern and classic roles women play. I wanted it to be a little weird & left of center, so there’s a lot of strange Easter eggs throughout the video. We’ve evolved as a species over the years, thank God, but instead of women being expected to be a homemaker, for example, there’s still this expectation for women to take care of and take responsibility for the men in our lives. It just may look a little different than it did 50 years ago. The application has changed, but the subtleties and impact remain. My goal was to tip my hat to that in the video, and just make something that looked nice.”

Glüme's Instagram bio reads "Walmart Marilyn," offering a succint intro to the LA-based artist's DIY approach to old school Hollywood glamor. She recently signed to Italians Do It Better, making her label mates with Chromatics and Glass Candy with whom she shares a penchant for bittersweet and melodic synth-pop, the perfect backdrop for a struggling ingénue. This week she debuts 'What Is A Feeling,' taken from her forthcoming debut album The Internet, due next month. 'What Is A Feeling' was written after Glüme, who has the rare heart condition Prinzmetal angina, was informed that her emotional health was starting to affect her physical condition. Over a chugging bassline and drum claps she questions the very make-up of her existence, asking questions including "What makes me work?" and "What makes me hurt?" Not even a doctor's orders can keep her away from temptation though, with the chaos of conflicting feelings tied up tight in the song's restrictive confines. “I had a doctor once tell me my feelings were doing my heart more harm than good," Glüme says via email. "I left wanting to completely disassemble my emotions and throw them in the trash. I studied emotions from physical and philosophical perspectives to see if I could outsmart them. But feeling less wasn't an option.” The Internet is out on April 30 via Italians Do It Better. [via The FADER]

Singer, songwriter, and producer ZAND is known for their uniquely brash brand of self-described ugly pop, and the iconic look that accompanies it is almost as distinctive. New single 'Bald Bitch' is ZAND’s most compelling earworm yet, its crunchy synthesised bassline driving beneath Blackpool accented pseudo-rap and the buzz of an electric razor. It’s the fourth and final cut to be lifted from last year’s Ugly Pop EP. ZAND isn’t afraid of controversial subject matter, with previous singles tackling topics such as misogyny and the stigma of sex work. 'Bald Bitch' is no exception to this trend, with ZAND squaring up to and superficial detractor chosing to comment on their appearance. 'Bald Bitch' is the next installment in the story of an artist who refuses to cow to convention. [via Line Of Best Fit]

Korean-American musician Jessi says she hopes her new song ‘What Type of X’ will inspire listeners to be “more confident”. The singer-rapper noted that “the most crucial thing” for her is self-love and how important it was for ‘What Type Of X’ to reflect that. “I am a woman of strong mentality and for me, loving myself is the most crucial thing. If you do not love yourself, nobody will do so. On top of that, you have to be surrounded by people who give off positive vibes,” she said. “Through the song, I want to tell people to be more confident and hope they remember that being different is not wrong.” Jessi co-wrote ‘What Type of X’ with Psy, who is the head of her agency P Nation. Psy. She shared that the lyrics were originally written in English before Psy helped to translate them, adding that the duo “did not argue as much as we did in the past while working together”. The singer also noted that, compared to her previous releases, she did not have as much time to prepare for this comeback. Calling herself a “perfectionist”, Jessi added that she feels like she is not fully ready to perform the song on stage yet, although she says she’s “quite content with the single’s quality”. [via NME]

Newcastle-based trio Cat Ryan have shared the official video for their latest indie-pop stunner ‘Mary Shelley Song’. The band has this to say on the clip: “Our film student friends, Briana and Gabi offered to film a music video for us and it was the first opportunity we’d had to film a professional kind of video. The first thought I had was to have a film noir style video. I think Lucas came up with a loose storyline and the idea to have it in reverse. We all quite liked the idea of a murder plot and with some tweaking of the narrative and, with the help of Briana and Gabi, the ideas came to life.”