#might delete but this sort of thing is confusing at best and annoying at worst uuuu

[girlshadowthehedgehog]

why is every post about sonic prime being tagged with ship 😭

[infcinity]

hello babes! welcome to event 13, wow cannot believe we’re onto the 13th event! in honor of that, here we have a slightly chaotic plotting and starter call not only bc i’m a mess, but also bc i deleted my first one so that was a sign to go crazy go stupid! to which, i will not be capping any of my starters for the moment, i may later on if i get too overwhelmed, but with that being said, please don’t request more than six things per mun! 

please let me know who you would like a starter for & which character of mine you would like it from! please tell me & don’t just say anyone, bc i am the worst when it comes to picking random threads! 

and for the plotting portion, if you give this post a big ol’ like i’ll slip into ur dms and we can get some plotting done and cause some chaos hehe!! 

i won’t be posting these starters until the morning of the event, well the afternoon for me lmao bc of time differences, but i’ll be keeping track of them and will be adding them to my queue for them to be ready to post! 

anakin skywalker ( 1 / ?? ) padme

𝕗𝕚𝕣𝕖 𝕓𝕖𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣 - anakin is going to be a firebender, all he’s ever known is that he can use the force, but now he’s def going to be unintentionally setting fires because he cannot control them emotions of his at the best of times? but adding fire into the mix is the worst freaking thing that could have ever happened. he will mostly be trying to stay away from people ?? bc he doesn’t want to hurt anyone by accident or cause anything to happen with the fire? 

annie james ( 1 / ?? ) hallie

𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖 𝕞𝕒𝕟𝕚𝕡𝕦𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 - listen, for a university student this is the best thing ever ??? but like she’s going to be very freaked out, but she’ll def be using this to annoy her sister to get back at her for all of the pranks lmao. 

ben solo ( 1 / ?? ) jaina

𝕥𝕖𝕝𝕖𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕚𝕤 - this isn’t much different to the force?? but ben isn’t liking not having the use of the force and will be ultimately quite freaked out bc he’s been used to having the force for his whole life and now he’s just got some new power that he needs to attempt to get the hang of? no bueno lmao - esp not since he’s majorly got a hold of his temper & sorted his life out, so he might be a lil cranky during this. 

bilbo baggins ( 2 / ?? ) thorin, arwen

𝕡𝕒𝕚𝕟 𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕦𝕤𝕚𝕠𝕟 - as soon as bilbo finds out what this power is, he’s going to have a fit - he doesn’t really like hurting people and has only ever done it in instances where it was needed, but then again, this power would have come in handy back then - but he will be avoiding using it at all costs and will not be hurting anyone! 

brienne of tarth ( 4 / ?? ) myrcella, catelyn, sandor, ygritte

𝕘𝕖𝕠 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕧𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕖𝕝 𝕞𝕒𝕟𝕚𝕡𝕦𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 - listen, brienne is going to be freaked out?? not only can she turn into a tiny dragon, she can manipulate the earth around her ???? she’s not going to use the things if she can, she doesn’t want to make anything happen, but def watch her just being a dragon and noping out for the duration. 

dimitry ( 2 / ?? ) anya, katie

𝕟𝕠 𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕖 - this mans has had enough trouble to deal with in his life lmao, so i just decided to keep him the same and give him no extra powers - but he’s going to be so confused seeing all of these people being able to do stuff that they couldn’t before lmao. 

ella / cinderella ( 3 / ?? ) charlotte, ariel, kit

𝕔𝕙𝕝𝕠𝕣𝕠𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕚𝕤 - she isn’t as freaked out as she probably should be? she’s always loved nature, so being able to grow flowers and shit is going to be really exciting for her! 

ewan mckinnon ( 3 / ?? ) abi, marina, maddie

𝕡𝕒𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕚𝕤 - ewan is p much freaked out by this whole mood thing ?? like the ability to sense moods is not something this man needs, nor really wants but ig he’s stuck with it now!! but he probably won’t use it much, unless there’s someone really annoying him?? he doesn’t exactly really want to change people’s emotions for them. 

fennec shand ( 0 / ?? )

𝕟𝕠 𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕖 - fennec is tired enough with having to deal with everything she did and does on a daily basis, so i left her alone for this event lmao, but mostly because she would be a completely menace with half of these powers and would probably cause some trouble lmao. 

helena ravenclaw ( 1 / ?? ) salazar

𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕖𝕝𝕖𝕡𝕒𝕥𝕙𝕪 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕡𝕤𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕚𝕔𝕤 - she will def be pretty freaked out?? like she’s only ever used magic before and this will be something new to her and she probably won’t handle it very well?? bc she’s had such a bad time in her life lmao, she is going to be trying to avoid people as much as she can. 

jeyne poole ( 1 / ?? ) vex

𝕕𝕣𝕦𝕚𝕕 - ngl this is pretty exciting to jeyne? she loves nature and loves animals? so watch her transforming into an animal or some shit and just hiding out in her apartment while all of this is going on.  

jiang cheng ( 1 / ?? ) jiang yanli

𝕤𝕦𝕡𝕖𝕣 𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 - this is the worst thing he could have ever got? bc now he’s gonna know if people are talking shit he’s looking at u wangji, this is going to freak him out and he’s not going to like it one bit, so he will be very irritated and will be snapping at everyone and he mostly won’t mean it, unless he does mean it which he most likely will. but he’s not going to enjoy this, being able to hear everything going on around him is going to be lowkey overwhelming, get him some earplugs! 

katherine pierce ( 1 / ?? ) stefan

𝕥𝕖𝕝𝕖𝕡𝕒𝕥𝕙𝕪 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 - katherine is mad about not being a vampire anymore, mostly just bc she’s vulnerable as a human and she really doesn’t want to die again, and the fact that she can read minds is freaking her out lmao. so she’ll most likely be staying away from the people who could kill her lmao, but she’ll also be looking for people who can keep her safe from any danger now that she’s human and vulnerable, will def use the telepathy to her advantage. 

kirei monsula ( 3 / ?? ) omega, luke, sion

𝕓𝕒𝕕 𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕥𝕦𝕟𝕖 - this is the last thing she needs lmao, she doesn’t have the greatest luck at the best of times and will now just have a trail of bad luck following her lmao. will probably be hiding out in her room as much as she can to avoid the bad luck tbh. 

lan sizhui ( 4 / ?? ) wei wuxian, lan wangji, jin ling, lan jingyi

𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕒𝕧𝕒𝕥𝕒𝕣 - sizhui is currently the avatar and he’s extremely confused how he got these powers? but as soon as he figures out what some things are, he’s going to be really excited! he will most likely get himself into some trouble tbh don’t tell his dads, and will probs do it by showing off for his friends.

lin beifong ( 2 / ?? ) asami, ikaris

𝕗𝕝𝕪𝕚𝕟𝕘 - lin has lost her powers before? so this isn’t any different, except that it is lmao, she is going to be pretty irate and freaked out over this whole situation. she can fly now???? what is she an airbender? she’s going to be annoyed bc she won’t have any idea how to control this and if anyone laughs at her she’s picking them up and dropping them back from a height. 

lydia martin ( 5 / ?? ) theo, isaac, malia, scott, peter

𝕥𝕖𝕝𝕖𝕡𝕒𝕥𝕙𝕪 - listen, lydia could already lowkey hear voices before and it almost drove her insane???? but now hearing them all of the time ?? ur gonna see her being really confused and feeling like she’s going insane all over again. 

mai ( 0 / ?? )

𝕗𝕒𝕖 𝕞𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕔 - ngl mai is not thrilled about any of this?? she was happy just being normal without any powers or anything like that. but now she’s got these things happening, she’d going to be slightly more agitated than normal and will def be slightly emotional? bc she’s never had to deal with anything like this before, so she’ll be so confused. 

margaery tyrell ( 2 / ?? ) olenna, jorah

𝕒𝕟𝕚𝕞𝕒𝕘𝕦𝕤 ( 𝕕𝕖𝕖𝕣 ) - margaery is going to be so confused at the fact that she can now turn into a deer? she was perfectly fine with just being normal, but she’s def going to be hiding in her apartment because she won’t have any idea how to control this - so we’ll def see her unravelled from her normal perfect version of herself. 

natasha romanoff ( 3 / ?? ) wanda, yelena, peggy

𝕡𝕒𝕚𝕟 𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕦𝕤𝕚𝕠𝕟 - natasha isn’t exactly thrilled about this whole pain thing? she prefers to protect people rather than hurt them - it reminds her too much of her days in the red room, which is something that she doesn't want to repeat. so she will be avoiding using this at all costs. 

niye ( 1 / ?? ) jester

𝕔𝕝𝕖𝕣𝕚𝕔 𝕒𝕓𝕚𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕖𝕤 - niye had never felt the need to have any sort of power and has never felt left out amonst people who are benders and this probably won’t change that tbh? so she most likely won’t use any of the spells, but that’s majorly because she’ll have no idea what any of them are lmao. 

rhiannon fawley ( 0 / ?? )

𝕤𝕡𝕚𝕕𝕖𝕣𝕞𝕒𝕟 𝕡𝕠𝕨𝕖𝕣𝕤 - rhiannon is freaking out ?? not only does she not have the use of her magic, but now she has these weird powers that she has no idea how to use!! she has no idea how this happened or why she can’t use her wand anymore, so she will be v angry and will be pretty snappy at people, which will be more than she usually is lmao. 

robb stark ( 1 / ?? ) jeyne

𝕟𝕠 𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕖 - mans has gone through enough in his life? so i decided to give him a somewhat chill time this event lmao, but we all know that it won’t be chill bc things will be happening bc of people having all of these powers lmao. 

sarra palpatine ( 2 / ?? ) sella, sion

𝕥𝕖𝕝𝕖𝕡𝕒𝕥𝕙𝕪 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 - she’s not exactly thrilled at having any sort of powers?? she was quite happy not being able to send thoughts into peoples minds or seeing things that might happen in the future?? so she’ll mostly be hiding away from everything sdfdf

sirius black ( 3 / ?? ) marlene, fliss, frank

𝕖𝕟𝕖𝕣𝕘𝕪 𝕞𝕒𝕟𝕚𝕡𝕦𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕡𝕣𝕠𝕛𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 - listen sirius is pissed that he can’t use his wand and turn into a dog lmao! but being able to manipulate energy? he’s def going to use that to cause trouble and probably to yeet a few death eaters, soz fam, that’s from me not sirius hehe.  

sokka ( 3 / ?? ) suki, katara, toph

𝕤𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕒𝕟 - sokka is going to be freaking the fuck out, he’s lived his life as just a normal guy with his boomerang and now he has these freaky abilities that he has no idea about? tho he is lowkey annoyed that he never got to be a bender, that would have been fun! but he’s going to be so ??? at the fact that he can see the things people are going to do before they actually happen? so catch him just screaming the whole time. 

tauriel ( 1 / ?? ) kili

𝕥𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕝𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕡𝕣𝕠𝕛𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 - listen tauriel isn’t thrilled about this?? she doesn’t really want to share her thoughts with people? she’ll mostly be avoiding any physical contact with everyone who isn’t someone close to her, bc those are really the only people she’d share thoughts with?? 

winter celchu ( 2 / ?? ) leia, satine

𝕔𝕦𝕡𝕚𝕕 - u know this is the funniest thing that winter could have gotten, she’s not had the best love life and it’s hilarious !!! she’ll be ignoring the whole matchmaking aspect of it and will def be using the beaming to get places and will be using it to sneak up on people lmao. 

xue yang ( 8 / ?? ) xiao xingchen, wen ning, nie huaisang, hua cheng, hope, xie lian, wangji, nie mingjue, wei wuxian

𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕡𝕦𝕝𝕤𝕚𝕠𝕟 - listen, this is the worst thing that this idiot could have!! but here we go, he’ll most likely be using this to be an asshole, so you know how this is going to go dfdf!! he is literally the worst person who could have got the ability to make people do what he wants? this back home would have been so dangerous, so he’s going to be taking full advantage of this and just making random people do stuff for him and probs making people fight bc he’s an asshole.

[animeyanderelover]

Hi I was wondering if your requests are open? If so then would you be willing to do yandere chrollo and Feitan sharing an s/o? Like a poly relationship kinda thing? If your requests aren’t open or you don’t feel comfortable with it then feel free to just delete this! Have a nice day/night!

Information that I have rewritten this since I’ve made some dumb mistakes in here😓.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, sadism, threatening, killing, controlling Yandere, strict Yandere, manipulation, gaslighting

Chrollo and Feitan sharing a darling

📖☠️I wouldn’t really see Chrollo tolerating sharing his darling with anyone, though someone from the Phantom Troupe he trusts has more rights in regards of his darling. Still though, he’s far too possessive for that so I really can only see this work if Feitan was the one who found and captured the darling first, and that for a while. It’s likely that at one point everyone of the spiders will find out and in that case Feitan will be forced to introduce his darling at the very least, there are some people who want to know who the small sadist has it bad for after all. Chrollo…has some mild interest at first, he really only cares that Feitan can guarantee that you won’t tell anyone about what you know.

📖☠️He trusts Feitan enough though so that he will allow him in the end to keep the darling. Funnily I’d say that Chrollo could already be after the first meeting slightly interested in the darling. Feitan…Feitan had a longer stalker period after he caught his thoughts constantly drifting back to you and after he snapped and got annoyed with his feelings, he abducted his s/o. Chrollo on the other hand needs something which intrigues him, fascinates him with a normal citizen. One meeting still is not enough, it leaves an lasting impression and slight wonders, but Chrollo has yet to fall deeper into his own twisted obsession before the respect that you’re Feitan’s darling will be tested.

📖☠️A second and maybe a third meeting might be needed until it’s almost like Chrollo has been placed under a disease where the only cure seems to be you. Observing how frightened and jumpy his s/o is around everyone, how terrified they look whenever Feitan glare at them with the silent message to behave and how awful and forbidden the scars and bruises on their skin looks. Seeing how Feitan treats such a sweet, endearing thing like you stirs up disagreement, distaste up inside of him. A slight narrow of his eyes as he begins to worry that one day you might shatter under Feitan’s treatment, losing someone as interesting and cute as you. A thought has his heart hurting. What a tragedy that would be.

📖☠️When he talks with that about Feitan some time later, that the spider probably should treat their lover like a treasure and not an enemy of the Troupe is the beginning of this begrudgingly relationship. Feitan…is rendered speechless after hearing such words from his boss, more a demand than a nice suggestion. This could be Chrollo trying to be a gentleman of course, but Feitan knows this man for a little while longer now. It’s not like him since Chrollo only puts on such faces to get what he wants to know. Would he normally really interfere, almost threaten in a slight tone to try to stop this treatment?

📖☠️More frequent requests about how his darling is doing and using excuses from other members who want to meet you once again against Feitan only strengthens his suspicions even more that his boss might have caught a certain liking to you as well. And the short man does not know fully how to deal with this. He respects Chrollo endlessly yet starts feeling the growing threat more and more the more he has to see how his boss starts interacting with you, charming you and showing you care. Wounds that might not have fully healed will be stitched from Machi and he promises them that he’ll convince Feitan to stop this treatment.

📖☠️Feitan, not someone to be insecure, starts growing paranoid and slowly lunatic as well. How couldn’t he? Here is his boss, the one he swore loyalty too, taking a rapid interest in his s/o and sweet talking them. His boss is good in seducing someone, so the doubts that his darling might end up liking him and leaving him start pondering in his head more and more. The fear of losing someone to someone else, Chrollo from all people, is a situation Feitan never imagined himself to be in. Yet here he is, working himself completely up. His possessiveness grows, suddenly he always glues himself to your side whenever he takes you with him to the spiders, watching with a burning gaze. There were a few times where he even ended up asking you what you thought of his boss, though you were probably too frightened to say anything that might anger him.

📖☠️Pakunoda, Nobunaga and Machi were probably the first ones to realize that there was a building tension between Chrollo and Feitan and it’s likely that they had started suspecting that their boss was developing growing feelings for you as well. And it baffled them as well, knowing that this might cause problems and had already affected Feitan greatly. He had been in his worst moods and had lashed out on every member who had asked him about his darling. The three respect Chrollo and Feitan so all of them obviously wanted to find a way to solve this problem, though it was hard to believe that Chrollo wouldn’t do something either. But they wanted to at least discuss something with him.

📖☠️And shortly after Chrollo did indeed, reaching out to Feitan so he could have a talk with him somewhere alone. The leader of the Troupe had came to realize that he had fallen utterly in love with the new addition to the spiders as well and indeed, a possessive and discontent feeling was bestowed upon him whenever he had though and seen his darling spider and Feitan together. A man who had abused his poor lover with whips and chains. And the hostility which Feitan tried to suppress due to his respect for Chrollo had not been fruitless either, it only proved that Feitan held him in high regards yet was scared.

📖☠️It was easy to read Feitan in regards of his darling, the closed hearted man showed his true intentions and feelings. And as Chrollo confessed his feelings for the darling to Feitan, for a short moment his heart really did miss a beat. Eyes looking down as many conflicting emotions were clashing inside of him. Anger, confusion, frustration and fear. Chrollo could technically take his darling away from him, manipulate them and make them fall in love with him. It was all possible and the question was if Feitan would be able to do something against it. He couldn’t possibly fight Chrollo.

📖☠️Yet he was caught off-guard again when Chrollo suggested a very unusual offer, sharing. Admittedly, his greedy side had considered taking you away from Feitan yet there was the fact that he cared still for the members. And even if a thief took what they wanted, Feitan had never once betrayed or disappointed him and had been the first one to find you. He respects him and after a long talk with Pakunoda, Machi and Nobunaga who had all been concerned since sniffing out the signs, he had decided to try to be respectful. Honestly, none of those was exactly happy with that, but it was the best choice without drama. For Feitan probably more because he could still be with his darling.

📖☠️Everyone is not exactly surprised except for those really oblivious ones, otherwise all knew that their boss had feelings for Feitan’s darling. What did come as a surprise was that both of them had begrudgingly agreed to share. Caring for their fellow Troupe member Feitan and highly respecting their boss Chrollo everyone can still probably agree that this was the best outcome, though they’re all anxious how this will work exactly out and how you will end up.

📖☠️Chrollo still holds more control since he is still Feitan’s leader and he starts exactly with his sadistic and vicious outlashes on his darling. Because those are forbidden from now on, seeing all the wounds and scares on you makes this man agitated. You shouldn’t suffer like this. Another advantage Chrollo really has is that he has his charms and starts improving his darling’s life by a lot and since they are still terrified of Feitan (in most cases), they might tend to cling more to him. Something Chrollo uses with nightmarish perfection and something that is a harsh punch in the heart to handle for Feitan. He saw it coming yet it causes him to feel pain he doesn’t want to feel.

📖☠️Whilst I see Chrollo as responsible enough to guarantee that Feitan gets some time with the darling, if they were to refuse because they don’t want to be alone with Feitan, he won’t force them. Chrollo is a man who keeps his word to Feitan though, so if he promised he will still have to leave, even if it does satisfy him to see that his darling prefers him. He’d never show that though. Feitan has a harder time dealing with this all after, he does not have what Chrollo has and has a history of having his sadistic way with them. By now he has most likely softened far enough up to not do so anymore, not to mention that Chrollo is now in the picture.

📖☠️I still feel like that even if Chrollo would take advantage of the situation, he’d probably still give him some tips on what he can do to hopefully get the love of his darling which Chrollo is currently heading for in a rapid tempo. Feitan asks others like Pakunoda and Nobunaga as well after having swallowed his pride as well. And after that, behold yourself, he starts trying to be nice towards his darling. Something Chrollo acknowledges yet also sees as a certain sort of rivalry.

📖☠️There is always some sort of tension between those two, more subtle in peaceful times and sharp as a knife whenever one catches you being affectionate with the other one. No doubt that those two kind of rip the darling back and forth since both are extraordinarily possessive over their darling, the only things bonding them together is their mutual respect for each other and the darling. But seriously, do not hurt their darling. At this rate the whole damn Troupe has gotten attached to you so everyone daring to harm you will drown in the depths of hell.

[opalmaplehibiscus]

Vice Dorm Leader Study Date HC

Hello Anon! Sorry for the wait! I wasn’t quite sure what you wanted to see so I tried my best trying cover a lot of ideas OTL If this wasn’t what you wanted, please do request again with what you wish to see! 

Trey

·       Study dates with Trey are very rare

·       He’s always busy due to his responsibilities as vice dorm leader while preparing to becoming a 4th year, so going on dates with you in general isn’t going to happen a lot

·       When you do end up going on with him though, he would cherish them and try to make it last as long as possible, trying to catch up on all the missed times with you

·       Usually, the study dates happen by Cater (best wingman ever by the way), who ends up stealing Ace, Deuce, and Grim from you on the days you’re supposed to study with them

·       Whenever that happens, Trey gets a message with a “U owe me~ ;9” from Cater as said guy drags the “interference” away

·       Trey: Cater, you shouldn’t be calling our underclassmen interference... Cater: Eh~ So, are you saying you don’t feel annoyed that they’re spending more time with you-know-who? Trey: …You don’t see me saying it up front now do you

·       He would do his best to help you study, teaching you whatever you needed to know  - tips, tricks, what topic that would be covered the most on the exam, etc

·       Would he try to make you flustered and blush though? Yeah. He thinks you’re adorable when you blush – endearing, cute, someone he wishes to cherish with all his heart

·       It’s why he would make passes on you, leaning towards you and brushing shoulders when he sits next to you as he helps explain something you don’t know or purposely having his hand graze yours as he points out something in the textbook or your notes

·       Expect to be spoiled with all types of sweets and desserts when with Trey

·       Cake? Cookies? Pudding? He would bring all sorts of things for you two to snack on when taking a break and studying, including tea. After all, you’re someone he happens to love so he has to somehow make it obvious one way or another

·       Trey has younger siblings. It’s why he naturally wipes the crumbs off your face since it’s habit to do so. Yeah. That’s it. Totally not

·       What isn’t natural is when, near the end of the study date, you would either hug or kiss him on the cheek, after finally understanding something or making progress, as thanks

·       Covering half of his face, he would turn his face away to hide his red face that could rival Riddle’s hair, trying to tell you he was fine with a small stutter and wavering smile when you ask if he’s okay

·       Now if only you would realize said study dates were actually dates and he likes you…

     Ruggie

·       Like Trey, Ruggie is a busy man. Busy doing Leona’s orders while chasing after all the money and food he could possibly get, so having study dates with him are also rare

·       In fact, the percent of having study dates with him are lower than Trey’s because of how much work he’ll be forced to deal with

·       It’s why, the only times he would be able to go on study dates with you are when you come visit Savanaclaw once every blue moon

·       Most often you would come over because of Jack, whether it’s to just hang out, give him a memo, whatnot

·       The thing is though, whenever you come over, you end up meeting Jack a bit later because something would always come up right when he’s about to meet you

·       And it’s totally not suspicious that it happens whenever Ruggie is coming back to the dorms. 100% true.

·       Don’t worry about Jack by the way. It so happens that a certain dorm leader kidnapped said wolf because he happens to be a good wingman when he’s bored

·       Also, he’s running low on blackmail on Ruggie. Might as well get a refill when he can

·       When seeing you alone at the entrance either being bothered by the other dorm members or looking bored, Ruggie ends up taking you to the lounge and chat with you

·       The conversation always  school orientated with school work and teachers coming up

·       While you’re in the middle of complaining about Trein and Crewel again over their ridiculous assignments (like seriously, what’s so important about hair-color changing potions again? And what about the history of the school’s chandelier, is this shade???), Ruggie teases you about not being able to do something “as easy as that”

·       He does his best to hide his soft side towards you when you sulk about it, seeing it as you pouting. Which is adorable and cute in his eyes and he loves  seeing it

·       Just as you’re about to get up and leave from getting annoyed, Ruggie quickly offers you his help on your assignments despite saying it in a teasing tone

·       Yes, he likes to troll with people a lot but he can be serious when he wants to, evidently seen when he helps you through the questions

·       His explanations aren’t great, yet he doesn’t give up trying to get you to understand and solve the questions

·       Will he tease you while explaining? Yes. Will he snicker at you and give his infamous infuriating cute smirk? Yes.

·       In the end, the assignment still gets done along with you feeling better with the concepts you weren’t so sure of thanks to him

·       It’s his turn to blush as you give him a surprise hug, ending up covering his face with both hands and sigh once you let go

·       As this happens, a certain lion continues to film the whole thing while covering the mouth of his “precious” kouhai with a smirk on his face. He’s not sorry when he shows it to Ruggie by the way.

  Jade

·       Having study dates with Jade happens more frequently than Ruggie and Trey’s solely because Jade would make sure he has one with you

·       By that, he means using the pretext of having to “tutor” you per request by one of the staffs to get to go on one with you

·       He will proudly say it’s his favorite excuse to use against Azul and Floyd since they wouldn’t be able to bother him nor interfere when he’s trying to spend some time with you

·       Yes, he enjoys hanging around them for entertainment but he has his own limits too. Plus, he wouldn’t have to use….some other methods to get them off his back though he wouldn’t hesitate to do so if they interfere (cough blackmail cough)

·       Studying with Jade is difficult no thanks to how much he enjoys teasing you

·       He’ll be kind, polite, and courteous but he’ll do everything he can to get to see you blush

·       Brushing shoulders and hands “incidentally” is nothing compared to the times he explicitly makes a move on you like gently cupping your hand whenever he takes your pencil so he could write some helpful notes in your notebook or sitting really close to you in general

·       The worst part is how he’s actually good at teaching you with whatever you’re struggling with

·       Makes good analogies, explains things thorough enough for you to grasp the foundation, surprisingly writes neatly and draw good diagrams – he truly lives up to his position as one of Azul’s hands and vice dorm leader

·       That along with the fact he would be providing hospitability such as teas and snacks that you enjoy definitely makes him seem like a kind gentleman

·       He enjoys teasing you during the whole time, having fun with your reactions his favorite other than seeing you blush being you being annoyed

·       Just needs to shade here and there to get a good grasp and push your buttons only to get amused in the end from seeing you huff and pout or chuckle at any smart remarks you make towards him

·       However, when you give him one your softest, genuine smile or initiate any physical contact yourself, it’s going to be his turn to blush and perhaps even tsun a bit

·       Will go wide eyes at first with cheeks dust pink to turning lobster-red if you point it out while covering half his face and look away a bit

·       Hugging is a whole different story though where you would be very successfully into getting Jade to go “Jade. exe has stopped working” after surprising him with one once you finally understand and get whatever you were confused with and do it out of happiness

·       Once the date ends, he’ll show you out before going back into the dorm and find Azul and Floyd who he knew was spying during the whole thing

·       He finds all the photos they took of him blushing and either would burn them or delete the files if saved on phone or PC

·       He does secretly keep the ones that includes you looking happy or being close to him

   Jamil

·       Study dates with Jamil happens a good amount of time thanks to Kalim who makes sure it happens

·       By that, literally Kalim would get everyone in Scarabia to help out but that’s another story for another time

·       Out of all the vice dorm leaders, he’s the one that takes the study date seriously

·       Wouldn’t really strike up a conversation because he would be focused on trying to get as much done as possible no thanks to how he’s busy in general

·       That being said, most of the time would be more studying orientated

·       Jamil would be attentive and help you with anything you need help with, going over them and making sure you get at least the foundations solid

·       His explanation and tutoring skills are nearly par to Trey’s probably because of his many years of experience with Kalim, his sibling, and now, the other dorm members

·       So, the idea of teasing you wouldn’t come up initially. Keyword: Initially

·       Just because he’s focused on studying doesn’t mean he isn’t aware of his surroundings and other’s behaviors, especially yours

·       He’s aware his attraction towards you is very much mutual since he practically caught you who-knows-how-many-times you looked at him, only to blush and stutter whenever he asks if there’s a problem

·       Cue the teasing like the rest but unlike the other three above, his is more subtle

·       He’ll be testing the water-  see how far he can go with teasing you

·       He honestly enjoys how you’re trying to keep a straight face, all cool and collected when he sits next to you to the point only a pencil case would slip through the space between you two

·       Acting innocent and nonchalant, Jamil struggles to not smirk when he sees your ears turn red and the corner of your lips twitch

·       Totally would pull “face too close for comfort” on you when he finds you getting distracted from whatever he explains something to you

·       It would only happen once and never again though during the next few study dates since he’ll realize he nearly lost his self-control when he unconsciously and nearly closed the gap between the two of you

·       What do you mean you heard him click his tongue? He did no such thing. It’s not like he was disappointed or anything because he wanted to-

·       When you hug him, he’s not going to be calm. Whatsoever

·       Pulls his head over his head and tells you not to come near him as he pulls his hoodie’s strings and try to cover his face completely

·       This is when Kalim comes out of his hiding place and tries to get Jamil to calm down while telling you that he was “just passing by” when you ask where he came from

·       It isn’t until he’s back at his room does he start calming down only to drag his hands down his face from realizing he messed up on trying to look cool around you

·       Kalim: You like them that badly, huh~ Jamil: Shut up

 Rook

·       Study dates with Rook is bad for your heart. Not because he does weird things to you or anything. It’s just that…he’s rather direct. Very direct

·       Although he does an excellent job teaching you, he doesn’t hide his attraction towards you at all

·       Calls you all sorts of endearment without any shame when you come over to Pomefiore to have the study date with him: mon cœur, mon chéri, mamour, and more

·       Like with everyone else he takes interests in, he very much likes to look at you. Even though it’ll distract you, he’s genuinely happy and in bliss getting to spend time with you

·       To him, getting to see the you studying with such calmness makes him think you look absolutely enchanting, loving to see you putting effort and trying your best

·       Despite being a hunter, he isn’t aware how you tend to look at him when he’s focused though nor does he know that you like seeing his serious side

·       …and you probably shouldn’t since the minute he realizes this he probably would take advantage of it and cause you more problems down the road

·       He spoils you a lot, mostly because he wishes to see you happy. Meaning, he would prepare all sorts of things to make sure you’re feeling comfy and happy when you’re with him

·       In all seriousness though, he does education justice when he’s the one tutoring/teaching you

·       Goes over everything thoroughly to the point where he would continue practicing and quizzing you until he knows you actually understand everything

·       Every time you get something right, he praises you a lot to the point you would probably feel bashful

·       When you’re feeling down or frustrated from the fact you can’t understand something or from anything in general, Rook is the one who’ll realize it first which often leads to him being the one to make you feel better in a short amount of time through words of encouragement

·       In fact, he’s one of the two people who would be the best comforter of the vice dorm leaders

·       By that, he’s the one you would probably pour your heart to without worries and end up feeling better after every single study date

·       Hugging can go two ways with Rook

·       When he senses you about to hug him (happens 90% of the time btw), he’ll hug you back with the same amount of excitement. He wouldn’t let go after you realize what you’ve done out of pure instinct and would instead hug you tighter while your face burns in his arms

·       When you catch him off guard, he’ll freeze and blush, completely not expecting it. Probably would be his first time ever getting flustered too as he tries to quickly recover once you let go of him

      Lilia

·       Study dates with Lilia is more like a hang out than anything else

·       He literally will pull the “immortal-being” card, where he’ll look over your shoulder and see what you’re doing before going on a long story-time telling of how each theorem, principle, historical event, etc. was discovered when he was whatever age-old at the time

·       When dealing with assignments, he would complain about doing them, muttering along the lines of “back when I was in school, we didn’t have to do these”, “kids aren’t going to even use what they learned in real life”, and so on

·       Don’t expect him to even attempt to study. He would ask you why he would ever need to when he lived who-knows-how many years and being at all those events that took place

·       With all of that being said, you would think it would be impossible to get anything done, doing a great job distracting you especially when he just name drops a famous historical person and tells you the guy/gal’s life from baby to adult all in one go

·       “That kid used to be so cute, as expected they would end up being this great”, “What’s this nonsense? How did that brat even did that when they couldn’t even answer 1+1 correctly”-

·       However, when you try to study and start struggling, he would always help you

·       There’s going to be teasing and he is very bold about it

·       When you stifle a laugh from his stories, he sulks first only to kabedon you in your chair

·       Leaning closer to you, he’ll ask whether you’ll take him seriousness now, gently holding your chin so you wouldn’t be able to look away

·       He does end up letting you go with a smirk, giving you some space and time to get over what had happened in less than a minute, thinking that you looking like a deer caught in headlights with a bright blush made you look extremely adorable

·       It’s not shocking that he teaches you well, especially when he’s the one that taught Sebek, Silver, and Malleus. How? He’ll never tell you how but the look their faces when you ask them makes you decide not to think about it further

·       Lilia also happens to be the other greatest comforter, probably even better than Rook

·       It’s because he raised three children on his own, he’s able to pick up any stress or sense the struggle you’re having when you do your assignments or studying before you say anything about it

·       When it happens, he has you take a break on studying and lends you an ear, making sure you say everything that’s in your chest since he knows you’ll be needing it

·       By the time he’s done helping you and you hug him out of gratefulness, he’ll be surprised and widen his eyes at first

·       He does quickly recover and hugs you back with a satisfied smile, rather seeing you happy and filled with joy than anything else

·       And it’s obvious that’s the case since once you leave, Malleus, Silver, and Sebek would ask him if anything good happened

[rhenuvee]

The Heart in You (Fred Weasley x reader)

A/N: Remember when I said I was going to be a turtle when using Tumblr bc I’m new? My dumbass couldn’t find the delete button- dEaDaSs cLoWnErY right here.

Summary: Both you and Fred are known to have a playful type of rivalry, and none of you two want to be the first to ‘be nice’ to the other. But one day he starts acting weird, and you start feeling bad. 

Warnings: swearing :0

*I realized I’m an idiot for not doing this sooner so tell me if you’d like to be tagged in my future fics. I write for 3 fandoms so please specify which one!*

——————————

Yours and Fred’s rivalry was known to almost everyone in Hogwarts.

You were sort of friends, sure. You had most classes with each other, and sat next to him in Charms. You weren’t always a jumpy type of person, in fact before Fred started annoying you, you were quite shy. You couldn’t bother to remember when the bickering started.

He called you names, stole your belongings, bumped into you purposely in the halls, and now blocked your way when getting out of class. And the worst part, he did it all with that stupidly attractive smile of his. Merlin, how silly did you have to be to be distracted by someone where only their smile could make your knees go weak?

Fifteen seconds left... 

It was almost like the clock was giving you anxiety.

“Class...” started Professor Snape with his slow, dramatic tone of voice. You didn’t want to give Snape the impression that you hated his class, but just this once, you had to be the first one to exit. You moved your leg slightly out of the seat, and your hand gripped your bag tightly, swung over your shoulder.

“... dismissed-”

You dashed for the door immediately, and rather sloppily, probably broke or crumpled up things in your bag, but you didn’t care. To your dismay, you collided with a tall, red headed, figure, smiling right down at you. 

“Nice try princess.” You looked up to lock your gaze with none other than Fred. His smirk met with your scowl.

“Fred stop blocking my way!” You protested, trying to push him out of the way. Sadly, with his years playing as beater, it didn’t take much force for him to use his arms and stay in place.

He used his tall stature to block the doorway of the classroom, with his arm stretched out so you couldn’t get out. This wasn’t a first, in fact, you lost count a few weeks ago. He made you late to quite a few classes and meals. 

A few students exiting gave both of you weird looks, and most treating it as if this wasn’t the first time this happened- because well, it wasn’t. 

“Come on lovebirds, there’s plenty more time at lunch to flirt.” said George. He too seemed tired of your bullshit as he leaned on the wall outside of the class. You huffed as you fixed yourself up, and made an ugly face at Fred. He in turn made a kissy face back at you, which made you rush out the door, with your face flushed red.

That annoying jerk, you thought, he always knew how to get to you. But he wasn’t done with you yet. You made your way to the Gryffindor table and sat across from Angelina. The twins as usual, came bouncing in right behind you and sat next to you, one on each side.

“You know love, if you kept making that face it might get stuck like that.” He said leaning with his elbow on the table. “Oh and how would you know that hm? Is it because it happened to you?” you shot back. But deep inside you knew that wasn’t true- it was the last thing his face would be, he was gorgeous. George ooed at your statement and Angelina rolled her eyes but smiled.

“Liar liar as always (y/n), when will you admit that you’re mad for me.” he said cheekily. Of course he had something to say back that would make your face red. “Another day...” sighs Angelina resting her hand on her forehead.

-----

Your body tensed when Professor McGonagall asked everyone to find partners to practise dancing. None of the boys seemed willing to get up from their seat, who would want to practise with you, let alone ask you to the ball? 

“C’mon let’s go.” said Angelina taking your hand and leading you to the twins. Oh no, not them, not Fred... 

“George would you like to practise with me?” Angelina asked. “Yeah, sure.” replied George before winking to you and Fred. You stood there frozen with your brows furrowed, how could they? 

“Well, let’s get to it darling.” he said. “Tch, whatever.” you muttered turning away from his gaze, and getting slightly hotter when he put his one hand on your waist and the other linked with your hand. 

You kept looking back at McGonagall, trying to follow her steps, and also down at your feet a lot. To be honest, you didn’t want to meet Fred’s eyes. A few minutes later, you realized he hadn’t said anything or teased you at all. You slowly lifted your head to see what was up. 

You were surprised to see his head was also down, looking at his feet. He looked up when he felt your gaze, but instead of his usual smirk and flirty one-liner, you were met with an expression you haven’t seen. His eyebrows were slightly furrowed, cheeks with a tiny bit of pink, and eyes filled with... confusion, or concern? 

“Sorry love, I almost stepped on your foot there.” he said sheepishly. This was new. You weren’t sure if he was playing or being genuine. “It’s okay.” you reply quietly, unsure of his behaviour.

Midway through the lesson, you could count the number of times he said “Sorry” or “My apologies darling.” It was quite a lot of times, and the weirdest part was that he seemed truly sorry for accidentally stepping on you a few times. You appreciated that he apologized, but this was strange. When Professor McGonagall announced that the dance lesson was finished, you both sighed, and just stood there for an awkward moment. 

“Reckon whoever’s going to the ball with me will have an interesting dance.” he said as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah...” you said softly.

“So how was it?” asked George as he and Angelina came over from their spot. “Couldn’t really get it...” replied Fred looking down at his hands. Was he... embarrassed? 

Suddenly you felt a little guilty for spurting insults at him earlier, and for hitting him in the arm with your books, and calling him names. Yes, he had done the same too, but it wasn’t like someone as confident as him to get embarrassed and shy. You hoped that it wasn’t your continuous back and forth that made him feel worse of himself.

---

This weird behaviour continued into the next week. People around you were shocked to see you both dialed down at least 50%. You hated to admit it, but you secretly missed the playful banter you had with him.

The Yule Ball was coming closer, and you still didn’t have a date. “Go with Fred.” said Angelina casually. “Are you joking?” you asked. 

“Oh? And I thought you both calmed down and finally admitted your feelings to each other.” You groaned at her statement. Alicia and Katie came over. “(Y/n), why can’t you see that he fancies you too?” asked Katie. 

“W-well even if he does, I don’t think he does anymore...” you said timidly. “He’ll probably say yes anyway (y/n).” said Alicia reassuring you.

You pursed your lips. They knew you liked him, and you hated that. You were a girl who rivalled against him, both competing for a better argument and the last word. You were told constantly that he flirted with you because he fancied you. Some of your retorts you admit might’ve been a bit much, so why would he like you after all that?

---

The next day, you walked in the Charms classroom with a weird feeling in your stomach. You felt even weirder when Fred plopped himself down, and put his stuff down on the floor of his side? Usually he dropped his belongings smack in the middle, invading your space, claiming he needed ‘more room for his long limbs’, and that you could spare a bit of your space. 

“Not going to put your stuff here?” you asked. “Didn’t want to disturb you.” he said before turning back to Professor Flitwick.You could tell that he didn’t sound his best, when he said that. But still, shouldn’t he be busy kicking you under the table, or looking over at your parchment?

---

“Fred!” you shouted a little too loudly as you tried to catch up with him after class ended. He turned around and walked back over to you, before waving to his twin telling him he’ll be there later. Your heart already started beating faster.

“Um, a-are you okay?” you asked. Well, that was a bit too general wasn’t it. “Course, why wouldn’t I be?” he smiled at you, until he went back to looking down at his feet, his hair covering part of his face so you couldn’t see it. Now you really felt sorry, you didn’t know what caused him to act less energetic, less loud, less of himself, but you didn’t want to be one of the sources. 

You took a deep breath and reminded yourself that you were going to hex the girls if this went wrong. “Please (y/n), we wouldn’t want to go without you!” the girls voices from the other day rang in your head. 

“I-I was wondering... if you wanted to go to the Yule ball with me..?” you asked shyly. “Hm?” he hummed, not looking up. 

“Would you like to... gototheYuleballwithme?” you said the last part rather quickly, almost a whisper so no one in the hall could hear you. Your face was beet red, scared to face Fred’s reaction.

...

“Knew you would give in darling.” he said brushing the hair out of his face and smirking at you. The familiar fiery hot boiling feeling began to rise from within you, and unfortunately to your face. “And I would love to go with you.” he said.

“Wh- I- FRED!!” you yelled out of anger and embarrassment. “Always knew you had a heart in you, was just waiting for when you’d show it-” “FRED WEASLEY, YOU’RE SUCH AN ASS!” you yelled frustrated. 

“Aw, it’s okay (y/n), I mean- hey! You there! Guess who asked me to the Yule ball!” he said tapping a random person on the shoulder. “Fred-” “In fact- EVERYONE! GUESS WHO JUST ASKED ME TO THE YULE BALL-” 

“FRED!” you said hitting him in the arm. He was too busy laughing his ass off to feel the pain of your hit. “I hate you.” you hissed, as he calmed down. “I think you’re cute too.” he said sweetly. 

“All that ‘sadness’ since the dance practice for the ball was all an act?” you asked frowning. “Well, I wouldn’t call it sadness. But since you said so- I’m feeling a lot better now that you think I’m handsome.”

“I didn’t say-“

“See you at the ball, love.”  he said bringing his hand softly to the side of your neck to kiss you on the cheek. You froze with your eyes wide. You were ashamed to say that your mind kept replaying the moment. A few seconds later, your mind snapped back to reality, and started going after Fred.

“F-Fred! You can’t just randomly do things like that! Come back here!” you yelled as he too started running. Both your voices echoed in the distance. George and Angelina saw as the two of you rushed by the entrance of the great hall, up to your usual chase.

“How long until you think they get married?” asked Angelina to George.

“Tomorrow.”

—————————

Link to pt 2: Here

[rosesvioletshardy]

you what now? - frank mccullen (b.h. - Pixie)

okay so this got deleted as soon as i posted it but thank god someone told me about it but anyways here is my first frank imagine 

i really hope you guys like this because it was kind of hard to go off with with just the small clips, ben’s interview, and the trailer so i tried the best i could 

masterlist

warnings: none

# of words:1627

--

“Frank where the hell are you? I’ve called your cell, I don't know how many times now. I’m really starting to get worried. I haven’t seen you in a long time and neither has your mom. I really hope you’re safe. Please I don’t know what I did or if it’s even my fault, but please call me back.” y/n had spoken into her phone for what seemed like the hundredth time trying to get a hold of her boyfriend as she opened the door to their apartment. All she ended up getting was his voicemail which meant his phone was dead, turned off, or he was just simply ignoring her. She didn’t want it to be the last reason seeing that the situation has been making her a little anxious as to where he was and what he was doing. The night they were supposed to be having dinner for their anniversary, he never showed up, but instead went with his best friend, Harland, to hang out. Turns out, Frank had gotten a bit into a run in with gangster priests after Harland had accidently killed a hitman with a big load of MDMA with him and now they were after them, but she didn’t know that at all. Or the fact that he was running all over Ireland to help a girl named Pixie to avenge her mother’s death as well.

Right now, Frank, Pixie, and Harland were all sitting around in the cheap motel room they had gotten for the night after a day at the beach and running all over the country for the past few days. They needed a place to sleep for a bit and change with a shower after not being able to for a few days. Before Frank had gone into the shower, he put his phone on charge for a bit before going in. While he was in, Y/N had tried calling him again and again and sending him messages to see if she could try to get in contact with him after a few hours. She hated being clingy in a way, but she was truly worried about him and it had been a few hours since she had last contacted him and she wanted to know maybe this time he’ll answer. Pixie and Harland were minding their own business but as soon as Frank’s phone went off for the 5th time in a row they were starting to get annoyed and looked to see who was calling and texting him so much. Harland had reached over to pick it up and him and Pixie looked at all the notifications on his screen to see that someone named “Y/N <3” kept calling and texting. Harland had immediately recognized who it was and let out a quiet “fuck” and hitting the back of his head against the headboard as Pixie scrunched her face up in confusion

“What’s wrong?” she asked him

“Frank’s girlfriend, Y/N. They were supposed to go out on a date for their two years but it was the night I killed the hitman and I completely forgot about it and he didn’t show up for their date because I called him but he said he promised to make it up to her and I don’t think he ever did.” he explained to her before continuing 

“He is so screwed when we get back” he finished

“He didn’t tell her about any of this?” pixie asked as Frank exited out of the bathroom in clean clothes

“Tell who about this?” frank asked drying his hair

“Y/N. She’s left a shit ton of messages and voicemails. You didn’t tell her about this did you?” 

“Well I didn’t know how and by the time we had gotten here my phone was already dead.” 

“You better call her mate, because when we get back she’s going to have your head.” 

“I know, I know. Toss me it, I'll go outside. I need a smoke anyways.”  Frank mumbled as he put on his shoes and grabbed his jacket to go outside.

After lighting a cigarette, he spent the first several minutes reading all the messages she had sent, along with some from his mom asking where he was and why he wasn’t answering his girlfriend. Taking another drag and letting it out, he hovered his thumb over her contact to call her.

“C’mon. You can do this. Just tell her the truth and she’ll believe you. She loves you, she’s your girlfriend, it’s not that big of a deal.” he whispered to himself

He pressed her contact and put the phone against his ear, waiting for her to pick up as it rang. Y/N was about to head to the kitchen for a late night snack until she heard her phone ringing and headed back to hers and Frank’s room to see who was calling her so late in the night. When she picked up her to see who it was, she felt her heart and stomach drop when she saw his contact name and photo. She didn’t know whether or not she should answer him seeing that he had been ignoring her for the longest time and left her waiting for their anniversary dinner. Frank was getting anxious over the thought of her not wanting to talk and he understood but he was hoping that she would pick up so he could hear her voice again. Y/N snapped back into reality and answered her phone and put it to her ear.

“Hello?” she answered coldly

“Babe? Listen, i am so sorry i didn’t answer any of your texts or calls. It’s just been a crazy past few days and-”

“Frank you left me all alone in the restaurant after it took me months to get a reservation and you didn’t bother explaining why. I sat there by myself for 2 hours before I decided to leave” she told him, tears creeping into her eyes as she sat down on their shared bed 

“I know and I’m sorry, I regret it so much. Harland accidently killed a guy who was looking to kill a girl and he had a bag of MDMA so we tried to see what we could do with it and now we’re helping the girl, Pixie, avenge her mum’s death and now gangster priests are now after us.” he said all in one breath and Y/N confused because the only thing she managed to get out from him speaking so fast was the last part

“I’m sorry did you say that gangster priests are after you?” 

“Yes. but everything is alright. We should be done and back in Sligo soon. That’s why I had to go with him to the airport, to try and get it all out of there but we couldn’t. I promise you when I get back, we’ll do whatever you want. I’ll try and get the reservations back, we’ll celebrate, we’ll stay in if you want or just do whatever you want to do.. I’m really sorry again, I didn’t mean to and if I could turn back time i’ll make sure Harland doesn’t go out and I’ll force myself to make sure I get there in time.” he explained quickly, his accent getting thicker the quicker he talked

“Frank it’s fine. Just please be safe and don’t say or do anything stupid in front of the priests.”

“Kind of late for that.”

“Oh no. What did you say?” Y/N groaned 

“I might have mentioned to a kid, youth pastor maybe, around our age or a few years younger that if God didn’t want him and I eating pussy, then he wouldn’t have made them look like tacos” he told her already remembering his poor choice of words

“Oh my god”

“I know

“That poor kid. You couldn’t have said something else other than comparing a vagina to food?” she asked him putting her free hand on her face smiling as she imagined how that could’ve gone down

“Hey if you think about it? I’ve seen one, many times before, if I may add, and it sort of does” he laughed causing her to turn red and laugh with him 

“But seriously please be careful. I don’t want to hear that my boyfriend died and some kid told a newscaster that the guy told him that. Maybe you should let Harland or the girl Pixie do all the talking from now on. You haven’t really gotten the best with words.”

“Hey! I’ve got good energy and positive attitude though”

“That is very true. You always do, even in the worst situations” she told him chuckling a bit before finishing

“Please come home soon and stay safe. I miss you.”

“I miss you too--” he told her as a silence took over for a moment 

“Listen, it’s getting late now, but don’t worry I’ll be back home in time. Very much alive. I love you”

“I love you.” 

With that, the both of them hung up and waited until the day where everything went back to normal and Frank wouldn’t get arrested for what he did trying to help someone. They really missed each other and he made sure that he wouldn’t go a day without checking on her and telling her that he was alright and not dead. As he walked in, he saw Harland and Pixie looking at him hoping that something went right for once and he nodded telling them that she’s okay and that she wasn’t mad at him anymore. They both gave out a sigh of relief as they took a swing of their beer and talked before heading to bed not knowing what will happen the next day.

[resignedseraph]

hi, i struggle a lot with the idea of defining my faith because of my personal experience with the catholic/christian based faiths. i was brought up in catholic school and i could probably tell you anything about any of it at this point, but the one constant for me was always that the god i was taught about got more complex with age which i think is bullshit because then we get into the bible was written through divine inspiration and the hypocrisy that just because the holy spirit (which is god (who is infallible)) divinely inspired people (who are infallible) that means suddenly only priests and popes can translate god's plan for you because they were Called to Serve™️ - i'm not gonna go down that rabbit hole because i'm pretty sure i'll have an aneurysm (you can't say god is the embodiment of red and so what if that includes green - i'm watching the good doctor and they made a similar reference which means it's the only thing i can think up rn).

ANYWAYS. the post that prompted this was "i wasn't getting into your heaven anyways" i think. how do you know that heaven is the right heaven? how do we know catholicism hasn't been corrupted by the demons of say capitalism and bigotry and arrogance etc and that the only way you could actually get into heaven is if you stop trying. why would their version of god want eternal life with people that only ever did the right thing so they could live forever? i think the god i could get behind would have a heaven for the sake of those that actually deserve it. give them what they think they want and oversee it even though they have to watch their creation wallow in the sin they tried to save them from (which by the standard of the god i learned about in elementary school like the god that should exist or else fuck that shit i'm out) and they would do it because it's the unselfish thing to do and as much as it hurts they couldn't bear to have anyone else be subjected to that kind of awful. and say hell ends up being heaven? say the archangels falling was an elaborate ruse to TRULY separate good people from bad people? and maybe heaven isn't really hell but it's this limbo that the bad people go to but like they have the chance to realize they were awful and like that could be how they could maybe get to heaven but they have to realize it themselves and try to redeem themselves by doing something really big with the knowledge that they could be wrong and end up going to fire and brimstone and never see their loved ones again for it but still they try because it's the right thing to do. and what if purgatory is for the worst people, maybe there's a parallel to it that people who are truly sick/were born with something in them broken are the demons that make purgatory the worst place as their punishment along with like demons or whatever idk i'm making this up on the spot. what if hell is the heaven you always hoped for, heaven is the hell you're living through, and purgatory is just unimaginable horrific with like hitler and shit getting what they SO deserve and more.

wouldn't that be like wicked cool?

i'm sorry if that doesn't make any sense i'm probably gonna go try to write a book or some shit but like idk. it felt like you might find my semi critical ramblings somewhat relatable? or that it might - not restore your faith i'm not here for that that's bullshit - heal something inside of you that's been broken by your personal experience with religion? maybe that you could die with that warm and fuzzy hope in your heart that we all should have had when we were kids..? i hope this doesn't upset you, i just. i'm a dreamer.

i was born with a heart that feels way too much and a conscience that will not let me be any other way than what i am. i've been called weird and annoying for it all my life. but i found a peace in truly rejecting religion, which i think people might forget also means buying into the fact that rejecting religion means we're doomed to the hell that religion subscribes to. i think maybe it could be rejecting the heaven and the hell that religion subscribes to and either defining it for ourselves or simply saying whatever and giving it the best you got even if your best doesn't seem all that good.

what if you were to embrace the things you've always been told make you bad to do the good you wish existed - and what if that was enough? i think that's why i get out of bed in the morning. and that maybe it's healed a part of me that's needed to believe in a world like that a long long time ago but never had the chance..

Look, this ask is so long and took me so long to figure out what it said (thank you brain), and I grew up very Protestant so I hope you don’t mind if I missed some stuff or can’t really address it. Also lmk if you want me to delete this or whatever, I just didn’t want to leave you hanging.

I do think Catholicism, and Christianity in general, have been corrupted by all those things. Probably not demons, just humans and their terrible ideas and striving for power.

I think that trying to decipher what any “true” meaning of a religion is —especially one like Christianity as an umbrella term— ends up being really confusing and complicated, and sometimes you even end up with a set of beliefs that aren’t even the religion you started out with. Trust me, I’ve tried. Some people can figure out beliefs that make sense for them, and that’s cool, but by the time I figured out a set of beliefs that made sense to me, it wasn’t even Christianity anymore except by inspiration.

I’m not sure what to make of your ideas about the afterlife setup, but I do think that the vast majority of ideas of Heaven tend to be a hell in themselves. I can’t justify the Heaven/Hell setup, and can’t say anything really about Purgatory since I don’t know enough about the most common beliefs about it, but it doesn’t sound fantastic either. Regardless, I don’t think punishment is the appropriate response to any sort of “sin,” especially from the perspective of a supposedly all-powerful, all-knowing, infinite being.

I think I’m fine with being doomed to the hells of the religions I don’t believe in. After all, that argument works with nearly every religion that has a concept of a punishment afterlife, and I’ve been fine with that since I was little, even if it was for different reasons. I’m honestly not sure about the last bit. I think I probably will die with that “fuzzy feeling,” but from a different source, most likely just love for humanity and the world.

[ghostofbambifanfiction]

I found a piece of fic that I wrote ages ago and decided never to post and miraculously did not delete! Which is rare for me! I delete too much! I think it’s pretty crap but I promised an anon a while ago that if I found something like this I’d share it (and apologies if there are errors this is a completely unedited first draft of something that I never finished).

Lily Evans is thirteen-years-old when her mother sits her down and explains that her body is about to "undergo some changes."

Her active participation in such a conversation is not how Lily pictured kicking off the summer holidays, but after two years at a boarding school that keeps her apart from her family from September 'til July, her mum is chomping at the bit to delve right into the Talk, lest her daughter learn about menstruation elsewhere—or god forbid, wake up covered in blood one morning and assume that she is shortly about to die.

Of course, Lily knows what to expect from her period. She can read, for one thing, and has numerous female friends. Beatrice got her first ever period at the start of second year, and on the train to school, of all places. Lily will be fine if left to her own devices, but her mother is so excited to talk about Puberty and Buying Bras and Now You're Becoming a Woman, and Lily doesn't have the heart to tell her that she's already quite clued in, thank you very much. She doesn't think she could live with inflicting such disappointment.

There's even a shoebox of props to hand, for Grace Evans is a nurse, and she wants her daughters to have all the information that she was denied at school.

Menstruation education station, she calls it.

"Tampons," her mother tells her, slapping the tiny, lipstick shaped contraption down on the kitchen table like she's preparing to place it as a wager in a high-stakes poker game. Her hand returns to the box and draws out yet another item. "Or pads. They're your two main choices. I'll give you a good supply of both before you go back, just in case, unless—do they have some other method, at Hogwarts? Some sort of magic potion? It's a very difficult subject to research, in my position."

Lily's father walks into the room—newspaper in hand, lips pursed as if preparing to whistle—catches sight of them both, then turns and walks right out again.

"What's wrong with Dad?" says Lily to her mother.

"Men are afraid of menstruation, sweetheart," Grace tells her, with a baleful glance at the door through which her husband has just exited, "because they're weak and silly, and can't be bothered to learn."

"Oh," Lily says, then lets out a laugh. "I suppose I won't ask Professor Slughorn how witches deal with periods."

"Heavens, no, he'll faint dead away."

Lily does not add that it would be rather funny to watch Slughorn faint to get out of an awkward conversation about the miracles of puberty. She doubts that he would feel comfortable talking to the boys about such a thing, let alone a member of the opposite sex.

Puberty is so much easier for boys, she reflects, and that's dead unfair. She may be but a girl and ignorant to the inner workings of the male body, but the only visible change she ever noticed in any of the boys in her year—specifically, in her house—was a sudden onslaught of squeaky voices. To make things more unfair, that phase didn't even last very long, except for poor Peter Pettigrew, who seems to be a squeaker by default.

Now she has to deal with people like Potter—to pick a name completely at random—acting like puffed-up, macho twits because their voices have finally broken.  

"I don't know what witches do normally," she says, "but I can always ask Madam Pomfrey. She's the matron at school. My friend Beatrice started hers last year but she's Muggle-born too, so she never thought to ask. Her mum just sends her pads."

"Make sure you do," says her mum, her tone almost warning. "I can send you whatever you need, but it'll be easier for you if there's some magical method you can access, especially for the cramps." She pauses, looking thoughtful. "And the mood swings. And the sore boobs—" Her eyes light up. "—which reminds me..."

Lily groans as Grace delves into the box again and extracts a small measuring tape, such as a tailor might use.

"I don't have boobs to measure," she reminds her mother, clasping both hands to her chest.

"Yet," says Grace, brandishing the rolled-up tape like a particularly tempting treat. "You don't have boobs to measure yet, but that doesn't mean you'll never have boobs." She nods down at her own chest. "I was your classic late bloomer—not so much as an insect bite until I was sixteen, then I ballooned out. Same with your sister. In any case, you've got at least enough to fill an A-cup, and you need to start wearing bras."

"I don't need a bra."

"Well, you're getting one. As soon as I've got you measured up, I'll take you to M&S and get you sorted."

"What else have you got in there?" says Lily, eyeing the battered blue box with a wary eye while her mother unfurls the tape.

"Just the essentials," says Grace airily. "Some leaflets from the hospital, panty liners, condoms—"

As if her mother has cranked up the dial on an embarrassment meter that only a parent has the necessary skills to operate, Lily immediately turns as red as her own hair. "Mum!"

"I'm not saying you need to use them—"

"I'm thirteen!"

"—but it won't hurt you to know how, for future reference!"

"Mum, no," says Lily, as firmly as she can, in her best attempt to sound as if she's taking a mature line on this, "I don't have any reason to want to know how to—how to use—honestly, no." She can't pretend. Her face feels all hot, as if it has been set aflame. Even the thought of what her mother is referring to makes her feel slightly sick. "Seriously, no, I don't want to learn—"

"You don't have to take them with you in September, of course, you're still only thirteen," Grace continues, completely undaunted by her daughter's mortification, "but it seems like you were just a baby five minutes ago, sweetheart. The time goes so fast, honestly, and it won't be long before you start to experience your own sexual awakening—"

"I'm going to my room," says Lily desperately, and shoots out of her chair.

"It's really not that bad—"

"I am grounded. I am grounding myself."

"Really, Lily, I'm just trying to help." Her mother lets out a hefty sigh. "Once we've measured you for a bra, I'll show you how it works on a banana, and you'll see that it's really not that complicated."

Lily Evans decides that she will never eat a banana split again.

***

The inconvenient, unwanted, and oft warned-of sexual awakening comes to hammer down Lily's door when she is fifteen-years-old, by which time her boobs have most certainly come in.

Despite a multitude of painfully awkward conversations with her mother—who doesn't say it, but seems desperate for Lily to fancy someone, anyone, so that they can gossip about it together—on the topic, she finds herself entirely unprepared for it.

She's unprepared because it's… weird.

Lily has had crushes before—sort of—fleeting things that seemed to exist because she thought they were supposed to, rather than stemming from any particular stirrings on her part. She's a late bloomer, just like her mum, and she knows as much. Bea and Mary have both been snogged, and Lily knew that she was trailing a little behind, but she never cared. It was fine and dandy and totally normal. She might even say that she's been lucky to escape it for this long.

It doesn't happen in the way she was expecting, not that Lily had any particular expectations, but had she ever, they would not have formed along these particular lines. It wouldn't be so embarrassing, or confusing—not the how or the why or the when or the where, but the what. The what, of all things. 

The what is the thing that baffles her most, because Lily always figured that it would be some transformative, meaningful thing, like an effortlessly witty conversation with a mature intellectual—tall, dark, and a little bit older than she, a boy with soulful blue eyes and scholarly interests.

The what should not be James Potter's arse in a pair of jeans.

But it is.

The thing about the magical world at large is that the robes are basically formless—loose, large, flapping things that hide the body away and become quite annoying during hotter months—but younger witches and wizards will opt not to wear them when it isn't strictly required. Throw Hogwarts, where robes are the mandatory default, into the mix, and something as unexpectedly disarming as a structurally spectacular derriere may spend a vast amount of time being cunningly hidden.

It's the last Hogsmeade trip of fourth year—with summer looming tantalisingly ahead like a ripe apple dangling from a tree—when Lily steps out of Scrivenshaft's and finds herself perfectly positioned to spy James Potter's denim-clad backside as he walks past with his mates.

Her eyes flick over his form as she scans the general area, then Lily finds her gaze dragged abruptly back, as if she's snagged her sleeve on a nail whilst passing through a doorway.

And now she's staring.

At an arse.

At James Potter's arse, which is the worst of it. If Lily has just discovered that she is, in fact, a person with a thing for bums, James Potter's bum—a neat, compact, beautifully fashioned marvel that looks like a peach in those bloody jeans (what monster let him go out in public wearing those things?)—should not have been the catalyst for this discovery, because James Potter is an immature sod, a walking headache, and a bloody annoying git. He and his gang of mates are childish boors, and Lily considers herself to be quite above their general tomfoolery.

She doesn't want to stare, but her eyes won't cooperate.

She likes it, and as she's quite certain that she doesn't much like James Potter, that makes even less sense than the school’s policy on using quills in a world where ballpoint pens exist. Would that she could deny it to herself… but Lily is not deluded. She can recognise the pleasure she's deriving for exactly what it is.

And that is just… not acceptable.

And how dare he, really?

"James Potter," she says hotly, finding herself suddenly and inexplicably compelled to acknowledge his existence, point him out, say his name, anything, "is a complete and utter toerag."

"What?" says Beatrice, who has been counting coins in the palm of her hand.

"Potter is a toerag," Lily repeats, even as she's telling herself to stop, shut up, why are you letting these words come out of your mouth? "I can't believe McGonagall even let him come here after the prank he pulled the other day."

"He got a bunch of detentions," says Mary, eyeing Lily curiously.

"Isn't that enough?" seconds Bea. 

"Why are you so angry?" Mary adds. "What's he done to you?"

"Nothing, he's just an arse." 

That's an unfortunate choice of words, Lily thinks, colouring nicely.

"Right, but he's always an arse," Mary presses on. "Why are you so angry about it now?"

"Nothing," Lily repeats, "but he just walked by and it reminded me that he's been pissing me off lately."

"If you say so, I suppose," says Mary, looking nonplussed, but a giggling Beatrice sticks her free hand in the air, waving as if to signal a rescue ship.

"Oi, Potter!" she bellows.

Several heads, including James Potter's, turn in their direction.

"Potter!" Beatrice repeats, waving him over.

Lily's heart leaps into her throat, gets stuck, and slides sheepishly back down to her chest.

"What are you doing?" she hisses, taking a swipe at Beatrice's arm.

"If you're pissed off with him, you should tell him to his face," says Bea, dodging out of Lily's grasp to beckon Potter over. "More fun for me that way."

Mary snorts, while Beatrice grins like a cunning fox. Meanwhile, Potter has left his friends to wait for him outside the Three Broomsticks, and is sauntering over with his hands in his pockets.

"I hate you," Lily mutters to Bea.

"That's right," says Bea, smiling broadly, "get it all out of your system."

"I don't want to talk to Potter."

"Then you shouldn't have been mouthing off abo—hey!" says Beatrice brightly, as Potter draws level with their group. "Look who it is!"

"Hello to my adoring fans," he says, with a grin that would be charming, if only it were spread across any other face, and widens considerably when his gaze lands on Lily. "Alright, Evans?"

Potter has been doing this lately, offering bog-standard greetings to the masses, then following them up with, "Alright, Evans?" as if he’s been compelled to single Lily out.

Knowing him, there's some wildly nefarious reason behind it, and Lily persists in believing that despite Bea's insane theories pertaining to thoughts and feelings of the romantic persuasion.

"It means a lot that you don't consider me a fan," she says coolly.

"It's not my place to tell all your secrets," Potter replies. "What did you buy?"

She frowns. "What?"

"In Scrivenshaft's." He nods to the shop behind her. "What did you buy?"

"That's none of your business."

"Oh, right, because Scrivenshaft's is known for selling top secret wizarding spy equipment, and the world as we know it will end if you tell me," he says, sending her a flat look. "Why'd you call me over?"

Lily has to force the corners of her mouth to stay determinedly downturned, rather than laugh, which she really wants to do. "I didn't call you over."

"Didn't you?"

"No, you idiot. Beatrice did."

"That's strange. Could've sworn it was you." His eyes haven't budged from her face for a second, and Lily is beginning to feel irrationally fearful that he's seen her ogling his arse. "Why'd Beatrice call me over?"

"Because Lily wants to talk to you," says Beatrice.

Lily wants to die on the spot.

[grey-oceans]

Things are feeling weird in the past few days and I’m not even sure which of these things I’m looking to actively resolve and which I just wish would fade away on their own.

I think that one of my old dental fillings fell out/broke a couple of days ago beause I got this slowly increasing pain in my bottom jaw and I’m terrified of it growing to unbearable levels by the time my dentist appointment arrives next week. And I’m even more terrified that I might need yet another Root Canal because the past 3 years feel like a neverending dental session. But whatever, this is super manageable and will literally be resolved within a week.

Everything else feels much heavier on my heart and even tough I’m 100% sure no one will ever read it, I’m going to hide it because It will be: probably long, most likely triggering at some level, and definately something I will never want to reread myself. I just need to get this out of my system because it’s been forever since the last time I did so (but it’s also been a while since I felt like this, honestly).

I miss my best friend, I miss her so much that I my whole body hurts. We haven’t been friends for way over a decade at this point because of how badly I fucked things up between us when we were finishng high-school. It actually took me almost 10 years to realize what a shitty friend, and person in general, I was and try to apologize to her. I did end up doing it almost 2 years ago (via Instagram DMs but it’s an acomplishment nontheless) and I still love her, still miss her and still think of her as my best friend. Because no one can ever replace her in my heart. 

I wanted to text her a while ago, to ask if she’d like to meet. But I was too afraid to do it and so much time had already passed that I feel like I lost my chance anyway. Also, I really don’t think she’d want to meet. I wouldn’t if I was her.

-

One of the main things covered by the news here for the past couple of weeks is a gang rape of a 16-year-old girl. It’s heartbreaking and every time something like this comes up in the news I feel like I can’t breath and I think about is 14 and 15 and 16-year-old me who was lost, confused, angry and lonely, in these dark places with no one to reach out to. I couldn’t find anyone who cared and I slowly drifted away.

On May 29, 2018 I received a phone call from a former classmate who apologized for things he remembered going in 8th grade. I cherish his apology, not because I felt like he owed me one. In fact, he is one of the people I most fondly remembered from back then. I cherish his apology because it painted some of the darkness slightly brighter.

-

Back to ages 14-16, out of those who did things for which I deserve apologies - no one ever reached out and I doubt ever will. But fuck them, I really don’t care about any of them.

Except for one, who was the sea into which all my rivers used to flow all these years ago. I feel completely rediculous as a thirty-fucking-one -year-old grown ass woman to even be bothered by memories of things that happened half a lifetime ago. But these memories made me doubt myself and my worth for so long, long after I met the most incredible and kind person in the universe, who’s been my partner for many years now (and many more to come). These are memories of me not being good enough to date but okay for occasional hook ups whenever his girlfriend wasn’t around. Memories of staying home and skipping a class trip because I was experiencing the worst possible side effect to a morning after pill (there was always always consent and we made sure to use protection but that one time the condom broke) - and when I was back in school after several days, he insisted that he tried calling me to see how I felt although I didn’t have any missed calls from him and he couldn’t show me the call on his phone since he “deleted it so no one will figure out”. What an asshole.

Again, this is mostly me being petty over bullshit teenage drama but at the same time it annoys the shit out of me. Because all I got was a crappy half-assed "honest talk” right after high school gratuation that was less about honestly talking to me and more about low-key trying to get me into bed. And a couple of years later we were chatting on FB and it quickly went to reminding me what a slut I was in school and assuming I still was. So yeah.

I don’t want an apology from him either becuase I realized a while ago that it wouldn’t do anything for me really. I do however wish I had a chance to talk to the grown-up, matured version of him - to see his take on things, what he learned from that experience, if anything. I’m sure he’s changed over the years and so have I, and more than anything I just hope he didn’t put anyone else through this sort of fuckery. Maybe if I knew for sure I’d finally stop thinking about him.

-

If anyone read this through - thank you. I actually feel better writing it all down.

[conciteque]

Kiribaku Month - Day 2: Crossover

Behold my second contribution to @kiribakumonth2019!

Since this is already a crossover, I’ve decided to take it as my cue to hopefully make my AU a bit clearer. Not much kiribaku here but it will make sense soon.

If you have questions or anything, feel free to ask! I could talk about this AU forever

Read under the cut. I hope you’ll like it!

Wordcount: 1810 words

Day 2: Crossover

Kacchan’s life was a nightmare.

The fighting for humanity and killing machines aspect was just fine, and he enjoyed working on Earth—especially when the alternative was staying in space in that floating tin can they called the Bunker—but everything else was awful. He hated constantly having to work with a bunch of extras who were trying to be friendly. He hated how he got used to their needless familiarity, and how they stopped fearing him in return. He hated how, after years of being called Kacchan by these idiots who’d somehow decided that formal denominations were lame, his inner circuits had somehow rewired so that he thought of himself as Kacchan instead of Killer unit K20 or, ever since he was reassigned, Battle unit B20. He hated how the nickname had remained, too.

But most importantly, Kacchan hated, hated how the damn Commander had decided to pair him with shitty Deku for this new mission on Earth. Of course, he knew why he had to be with the stupid Defense unit, but he couldn’t stand the guy. Defense units in general were annoying, always getting in the way as if he needed help, but Deku was the absolute worst. He got destroyed so often that Kacchan sometimes wondered if he didn’t do it on purpose, and then, once the battle was over, he’d turn toward his partner with that shitty smile of his and ask “Kacchan… are you ok?” as if he wasn’t the one that was broken everywhere.

The worst thing, though, was that this time, Deku seemed to have undergone a hard reboot. Or at least, his memories had somehow been deleted so far back that he didn’t remember Kacchan at all. In a way, it was a good thing because Kacchan couldn’t stand the shitty Defense unit remembering the rare times when he’d actually saved his ass, but it was also fucking annoying because it meant that they’d have to go through the whole attempted friendship process again.

He’d have to remind Deku that emotions were fucking prohibited over and over again.

He’d have to explain the basic rules of working with him again.

He’d have to teach the shitty Defense unit not to argue with him and to fear his wrath again.

He’d have to deal with Deku’s obvious disappointment again and again until the Defense unit finally learned that their relationship was strictly professional and Kacchan didn’t give a shit about him, or about any other fucking android.

That was another thing Kacchan hated about the guy: his emotions were all over the place. If Deku’s eyes weren’t covered by the standard YuUEi blindfold, Kacchan was pretty sure they would start leaking like he’d heard human eyes did.

So really, despite how relieved he was to be back on Earth for what seemed to be a pretty long time, with a lot of freedom to do as he pleased in between assignments, Kacchan couldn’t truly enjoy it. Knowing he’d have to babysit Deku the whole fucking time was ruining everything.

After a successful landing on Earth where he’d managed to avoid speaking to his forced partner, Kacchan was immediately assaulted by his stupid Operator.

“Good morning Kacchan!” the round faced extra exclaimed with way too much enthusiasm through his battle pod, the shitty device floating in front of his face, just out of reach. “I hope you had a safe trip! Did you know that long ago, it would have been night time on Earth?”

“I don’t give a fuck,” he grumbled. “What’s your point?”

“Grumpy as always, I see. I’m going to send you the location of the Resistance camp. It’s not too far from here. Make sure to make a good impression on them!”

“I don’t care about the opinion of some extras. I just need to secure the resources right?”

“That’s the idea, but you also have to work with them. You’re not just here to take things, you also need to build a proper relationship with them. We need their help, remember?”

“Then you should have sent someone else, for fuck’s sake! What made you dumbasses think I was the right unit to build a fucking relationship with a bunch of shitty outdated androids? I’m a soldier dammit!”

“Orders of the Commander,” the Operator shrugged, not one bit impressed with him. “You can probably leave the talking to Deku, though.”

Oh, so that was why he was paired with the shitty Defense unit. Because that green haired freak was all nice and friendly. Great…

Round Face left him alone soon after, and for the rest of the way, he was stuck with Deku marveling at Earth and dropping shitty fun facts about humans and how the environment adapted after the planet stopped rotating, as if Kacchan didn’t know everything about that already.

The place seemed oddly familiar, but he tried not to dwell on it. Maybe he’d been in the area at some point, who cared?

The good part was that it didn’t take them long to reach the Resistance camp. It was a shitty place that barely deserved its name; just the inner courtyard of a building in ruins, with a bunch of shade sails and a couple of furnished rooms in the parts that weren’t too damaged.

When they stepped into the camp, Kacchan felt like the eyes of every android were on him, and he hated it. In his opinion, eyes were meant to be covered. He wasn’t supposed to notice that they were both surprised and curious to see them. It felt unnatural.

Despite what Round Face had said about leaving the talking part to Deku, Kacchan was the one who spoke first.

“Who the fuck is in charge here?”

“That would be me,” said someone on the other side of the camp.

Kacchan walked toward him and crossed his arms as he reached android who’d spoken, a male unit with bright red hair somehow worn in spikes, big red eyes, and a smile that revealed a row of shark teeth. That guy looked like an idiot, but at least he’d be easy to recognize.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Eijirou, leader of the Resistance,” the shitty haired android said.

“I don’t give a shit. Do you have the stuff?”

There was a flash of… something in the red android’s eyes, before he started fucking chuckling of all things.

“Don’t you think you should introduce yourself first? We’re going to see each other a lot in the foreseeable future,” Shitty Hair said.

“Whatever. I’m B20. This loser here is D9. Do you have the stuff?”

“You can call me Deku,” shitty Deku added.

“Nice to meet you, Deku. And what should we call you?” he asked, looking at Kacchan again.

“B20,” he said.

“We call him Kacchan,” Deku said at the same time.

Kacchan almost punched him.

“Fucking don’t,” he said instead.

“But Kacchan, don’t you think it’s better if—”

“Shut the fuck up, nerd! Who even told you to speak?!” he exploded.

“Ah, I see…” Eijirou said, thoughtful. “You’re the angry kind. We’ll call you Blasty!” he announced with a grin.

“No fucking way, Shitty Hair!” Kacchan snapped.

“My hair is just fine, and my name is Eijirou,” he reminded, calm and obviously amused.

What the fuck was wrong with this guy?

At this point, Kacchan was ready to fight. Shitty Hair or Deku, he didn’t give a shit, he just needed to kill something. That was why Killer units went out of production, he remembered bitterly. They had a tendency to go berserk, and the other androids were too fucking weak to handle it.

He was getting ready to punch someone when, like some sort of joke, he was interrupted by the pods, sending some fucking useless speech he’d heard a thousand times already.

Some cheesy music started playing, and a booming laugh resonated in the camp.

“YuUEi units! This is All Might speaking, on behalf of the Council of Humanity!”

At this point, Kacchan was highly tempted to destroy his pod. However, he knew the shitty little thing was fast as hell and wouldn’t let him do it. Plus, he’d have to listen to Deku’s complaints and he guessed killing the guy wasn’t the best way to ‘make a good impression’ on those Resistance extras. He didn’t see the point of all this, but he was still going to take this mission seriously.

Fucking Deku was absorbing the speech with absolute focus and fascination, and it made Kacchan want to throw up. It was the same bullshit as usual. Bla bla, the war against machines, humanity hiding on the moon and sending them, YuUEi androids, to destroy the machine invaders so that they could reclaim the planet. Bla bla “you are humanity’s last hope and we’re counting on you to do everything while we hide like fucking cowards”. He heard the same shit every day, what was the point?

“Glory to Mankind!” All Might concluded, signaling that the speech was finally over.

“Glory to Mankind,” Deku repeated solemnly, like the fucking nerd he was.

Kacchan rolled his eyes.

Shitty Hair had watched the whole thing with a look of polite confusion, and their conversation resumed immediately after. By the time Kacchan left, he was sure of one thing: he was going to fucking hate this mission.

Shitty Hair didn’t seem impressed by his attitude, he refused to call him anything other than Blasty, and he ended up sending Deku and him on an errand like they were some fucking underlings and not busy YuUEi soldiers. He never flinched when Kacchan yelled, smiled when he complained, and sometimes, he looked fucking… pained or something. It was confusing as hell. That shitty haired bastard was supposed to be scared of him, not fucking sad!

To make things worse, Kacchan couldn’t leave that damn place before interacting with a bunch of extras who were all acting entirely too familiar with him, introducing themselves and then throwing an arm around his shoulders to “give him a tour” as if he wanted to spend more time there than necessary. And worst of all, Deku seemed to love the place. Of course, he’d feel right at home among the Resistance extras and their fucking friendliness.

So yes, Kacchan was going to do this shitty task the red haired android had given them. But only because he had nothing better to do at the moment and the Commander had called personally to remind him that he was supposed to help the Resistance when asked.

As he left for the place Shitty Hair had mentioned, trying to ignore Deku’s babbling about how fucking nice everyone was, Kacchan made a mental note to teach the shitty Defense unit how to fear him as soon as possible, so he could finally enjoy some fucking peace.

Kacchan’s life really was a nightmare.

[emikvs]

﹤𝙽𝙰𝙽𝙰 𝙺𝙾𝙼𝙰𝚃𝚂𝚄, 𝚂𝙷𝙴 / 𝙷𝙴𝚁, 𝙲𝙸𝚂 𝙵𝙴𝙼𝙰𝙻𝙴﹥; * - hello EMIKO " EMI " SATO. long time no see. i know a lot about you. like how you're TWENTY ONE, how you're a CLASSICS major,  and in fact.. how you LIE AND TELL EVERYONE YOU STUDIED ABROAD FOR A YEAR WHEN YOU WERE ACTUALLY IN REHAB. would be a shame if it got out, wouldn't it ? so let's play a game. 𝚃𝚁𝚄𝚃𝙷 𝙾𝚁 𝙳𝙰𝚁𝙴 ?

*itzy vc* hey hey hey ! SDBJWBDJW what’s up......its xan aha ... this is gonna be the biggest mess ever ...just winging it as i go. and u know what ? thats on on brand babey ! lets get it ...TW: drug use/mention, accidents/hospitalization ( just in case)

backstory

virginia born and raised babey ! she’s the youngest of five siblings and ...it shows. SJDBJWBDJW growing up would have been pretty chaotic had it not been for the fact that her dad was a pretty well-respected police officer in their town ! him & her mom were high school sweethearts which made no damn sense to emiko considering they’re still happily married...the concept just seems fake to her </3

while her parents had a lot of  mushy love for each other, when it came to their kids they opted to take a more emotionally distanced kind of parenting style bc they didnt wanna like spoil their kids or anything but.....it wasnt exactly the best plan ! emi and all her siblings just learned to be very good liars JDSBWBDJW as kids with strict parents do

being the youngest emi took a while to get into her rebellious phase. for a while she’d just watch her older siblings sneak out and party and do walks of shame and all that jazz...and while she was always down to help them get out of trouble none of them ever really trusted her ? since she was the baby they figured she’d be the most likely to snitch which just made her really ///: bc she wanted to be included so bad

flash forward to senior year of high school and finally emi’s like . okay fuck this it’s MY turn ! her dad had recently decided to get into politics with some encouragement from the police chief so he was busy with his career and her mom was busy helping him. it was the perfect time to do what she wanted since it was less likely she’d get caught

so she goes to this graduation party.....and it’s BAD like she gets fucked up & carried away so she calls her oldest sister ( who had come back into town for emi’s graduation ) to come pick her up & on the way to get emi from this house party, her sister ends up getting into an accident 

she didn’t die though JSBJDSBBWJDBWJDBJWDW just broke some stuff and ended up needing surgery ): and emi obviously got busted that night by her parents which ... wasnt pretty at all especially bc they low key blamed her for her sister’s accident which just made emi feel like pure shit babey ! 

visiting her sister in the hospital is what kinda sparked her fear of hospitals ! bc emi was like super guilty and paranoid that maybe her sister was gonna die or her surgery would go wrong and she’d essentially be at fault...it was just a lot of anxiety that turned into a genuine phobia of hospitals after that

but her sister made it she was okay and her dad used all the buzz and tragedy around his family to kinda boost his political career....which was ugly. her sister had been prescribed some pretty heavy pain killers for the pain & thats where things got.....messy

emi isnt sure when exactly it started but between the guilt she was harboring over her sister’s accident, the stress from her parents as her dad got further and further into virginia politics as well as college anxiety since she was about to start at the universoty of virginia.....she stole some oxy and thats what started what would be a very messy and tumultuous addiction  

as soon as she started college, emi felt as if some of the weight had been lifted. she was living away from her family for the first time and dorming so she promised herself she’d take these four years to grow and figure out who she is......except that didnt exactly happen. instead of exploring herself in a healthy way, emi was using drugs as a sort of escapism from her “old” self. she’s extremely smart and she loves her major, but her professors would often comment her papers had the energy of a “rambling and troubled mind”. by the time she was about to finish her sophomore year she was getting so high people would find her literally passed out in the dining hall. but no one was that worried bc for a good two years, she was a pretty high functioning addict. 

cue the summer after sophomore year when emi overdoses at a party. she woke up in a private hospital room with only her father sitting on the couch, the look on his face something she’ll never forget. while him and her mother knew exactly what happened to emi, they hadn’t told any of her siblings. or anyone at all, for that matter. instead her dad had informed the university emi would be taking a year off to privately study abroad and told emi that’s what she was going to tell people bc he’d just decided to run for mayor ! he essentially guilt-tripped her into thinking telling people the truth would be a selfish act, and one that would basically ruin the family reputation and make everyone really miserable JSDWDBWBDJW he also tells her she’s gonna be shipped off to rehab ! 

so she goes to rehab for a good seven months. everyone at school thinks she’s studying abroad in italy, and emi is literally just counting the days til she can go back home to her dorm bc she’s lonely !!! in rehab !!! and she gets that she should take it seriously but shes just so mad at her dad and herself and the world too ig ... just some good old fashioned angst ! but she finishes rehab and her dad got elected as mayor of her hometown in virginia and shes like good for u can i go back to school please JSBDWJDBJW and he says yes

so she’s back ! ready for the universe to give her a break.....ahaha.....

personality + tidbits

so emi......my baby......she’s a strange one. she’s that bitch that’s super nerdy but in the weirdest way like the stuff she’s into is so specific and just....generally stuff literally no one else would care about but to emi it’s like holy shit this is the coolest thing in the world JSBDJWBDJWBJD she knows a little about a lot so she has the tendency to come across as pretentious if you don’t know her outside of class when in reality she’s just read one too many random facts. also weird in the sense that she’s a STRONG believer in the paranormal and in aliens and in witchcraft and stuff like that as well as believing in things that seem “logical”. it can be confusing to people who view that stuff as silly that someone so smart would be into it. 

speaking of smart.....she’s a polygot which basically means she can speak a bunch of languages ! she’s self-taught, and since she’s a classics major some of her favorites to study include greek and latin ( dead language who ? ). she’s pretty chill about it though and if you wanted to learn she’d be the type that’s 100% down to teach you. she always learns the curse words first just you know....for the fun of it ! she probably has very specific “pet names” for everyone in the friend group in random languages 

anyway she’s also stupid. ASDJWBDWBJDBWJDWJD i mean like in the way that she makes the most .... impulsive decisions that usually have negative consequences. she’s the type to convince herself she knows exactly what she’s then come up with the worst plan you have ever heard in your life. an example of a dumb decision emi has made ? your girl ate a pot brownie the day after she got back in her dorm after rehab bc she convinced herself it was a good way to de-stress. some other dumb decisions include various drunk tattoos ( which thankfully haven’t been too bad save for the words eat me tattooed in small font on her ass ). also owns a stick & poke gun so she’s for sure tried to tattoo friends while intoxicated despite.....not being a tattoo artist ... she’s not even an art student .... SJBDJWBDJW....but she’s very very good at convincing people to join in on her dumb antics so be weary

big on photography !!! she loves taking pictures. always that one friend who reminds you to document the moment and you get annoyed but then when you want to post a picture on insta you’re thankful she was there <3 she has the energy of like .... the dad friend when you need support JSDBWBDJWBDJW she tries to be caring but it just turns into like ... emi high off her ass putting her hand on your shoulder and being like “you know fuck it man you’re amazing” not that good at the emotional stuff like she really wants to be but she legit doesn’t know how.......kinda accidentally turned into an emo kid bc she channels her feelings though some kick ass playlists and the notes app in her iphone instead of talking to people JSBDJWBJDBWJDBJ 

she’s high key struggling but she’s the type to be like no its fine this is fine life is a ride babey better hold on ! tries to keep things flirty and fresh 99% of the time but then you’ll witness the rare emi breakdown which.....involves a whole lot of tweets that will all be deleted within 24 hours and emi will in fact deny they ever existed

really a laid-back girl but the chaotic energy is there folks......she can also very easily get into her youngest child complex if she’s upset which just involves emi being a pain in the ass and everyone having to deal with it JSBDWBDJWBDJWBDJW  she likes to make it hard to say no to her.....not exactly manipulative but sometimes she can get close /: not listed in her fears but she is in fact scared of genuine love and affection ! it’s like she craves it so much she’s terrified abt what will happen if she ever gets it.......so she makes sure she’s never in danger of that by never getting into anything serious.....but then at night shes like damn . kinda want a freak to hold my hand rn and tell me they love me ... JSDBWBDJWBDJWBJDWJDW it’s all fun and games.............

ok thats it im done rambling.................this is so long..............and for what !!!!! i made her more of a clown than i intended but thats okay (: JSDBJWBDWJDBWJ emi might hate clowns but im embracing them ! 

[crystaljins]

By its cover | 06

Characters: Hoseok x Reader

Word count: 5.8 k

Synopsis: Your annoying little brother Jimin accepts a dare and summons a demon into your living room. There are multiple problems with this. 1) Demons are the most hated species on earth. 2) That demon happens to be Jung Hoseok, the most popular guy on campus 3) The fact that Jung Hoseok is a demon is his biggest secret and 4) Jung Hoseok hates your guts. You’re in for a wild ride. Demon!Hoseok, magic-university!au and enemies-to-lovers!au

Notes: This is another of those parts that I was really looking forward to writing. Actually a lot of revamping happened to the fic during the writing of this part- parts got smushed together or deleted or rewritten. The pacing is probably quite fast in this part as a result- I think it’s like three different parts combined into one. I still like it. I didn’t want this fic to be too long, yaknow? 

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

Part 6: Realisations

You awaken the next morning to find a rather distressing email from your least favourite lecturer had been sent out the afternoon before. It is a reminder for an upcoming practical exam, in a measly 2 days time. It’s a barrier exam- those who do not pass will not proceed with the course. You feel anxiety claw your heart the more you read- one-on-one assessment of a set of magic skills that almost seemed designed to make life difficult for you as a witch. You know your lecturer has been gunning for you to be kicked out since you first registered and he realised he would be teaching a witch for an entire semester. You know without a doubt he’s going to use this exam to his advantage and that knowledge and reminder of your impending doom essentially ruins your morning. You had been looking forward to a lazy morning with Hoseok and Jimin. It is a Saturday and since you had been oddly tired as of late, you had been hoping for a sleep-in and then a lazy day lounging around the house. You think that maybe the stress of the past week and attempting to conceal all the bullying from Hoseok is the cause of your constant exhaustion and you’d been hoping the weekend would be a good chance to recharge. You know Hoseok wants to go to some party in the evening and Jimin has an all-day dancing workshop so you had intended to make the most of your day in. No doubt you would feel the drain from being at the party like you have every other time you’ve left your house and so the morning off was to be your sanctuary, your time for some rest and recovery. But now, anxiety twists your gut and claws at your heart. Your day has been ruined and there is no fixing it.

You are distracted as you prepare breakfast for your house’s occupants. Hoseok approaches with a yawn and begins slicing fruit. Since Jimin will not wake up until you go and knock on your door, it is just the two of you. It feels oddly domestic, standing beside him in the kitchen. He hums a soft melody and bumps his hips playfully against yours as the two of you move about the kitchen. It warms your heart but nothing can soothe the angry bees swarming in your stomach. You blame your distraction for the way you scream as loudly as you do when something brushes your ankle.

Gazing down with your hand clasped to your chest, you are expecting a bug but instead it’s some sort of thick... cord. Barbed at the end. You follow its course to see it’s attached to Hoseok. It’s a tail- he has a tail and currently it’s wrapped around your ankle. At your surprise, Hoseok grins and his teeth are suddenly more pointy. You hadn’t really looked properly at him before now and so the little stubby horns poke just past his messy mop of hair on either side of his head had escaped your notice.

“Hoseok, what...” you begin, and his grin widens.

“Normally I drink a potion every morning to conceal these.” He waves his tail at you to punctuate his point. “But since it’s just us today, I didn’t drink the potion. It has all sorts of nasty side effects- I get phantom pains and nausea and honestly I get the worst headache at the end of the day. So today’s my day off from all that!” He declares joyfully. But then his expression darkens just a fraction. “Unless... my appearance bothers you?”

You have regained your breath by the time he finishes explaining but to your dismay he interprets the way you have gone pale as disgust at his natural features.

“Should… should I have taken the potion?” He asks, hesitantly. “I thought maybe you seemed off this morning, but I didn’t think-“

“They’re cute.” You blurt quickly. Hoseok flushes and so do you. That was so not what you intended to say. Still, you’ve already blurted it out, so you might as well follow it through. “Your horns. They’re cute. Kind of like how a pixie’s ears are cute.”

Hoseok stares at you disbelievingly and to your surprise his face nearly turns purple. He quickly looks away with a flush and you see that he’s trying to conceal a smile. It makes you smile- you didn’t think it was possible to fluster Hoseok and yet who you are. Hoseok seems to remember that you’d been a little off in the lull in conversation though.

“So then what’s bothering you?” He asks, looking up at you. He’s genuinely confused, and it is your turn to hide your face. You turn your attention to where you were beating the eggs into an omelette for Jimin.

“I just have a prac exam coming up that I’m a little stressed for.” You say, hoping your tone sounds dismissive and uncaring rather than awash with the nerves you feel. Hoseok’s expression softens, and he leans forward. He takes the bowl you had been aggressively whipping at from your hands and sets it on the counter away from you. He then steps and slides his hands onto your shoulders. He’s hugging you but in awkward stages as if he’s testing for a reaction- first he tugs you towards him and when you do not resists he slides his arms so that they are wrapped securely against you and then finally he tilts his head so that his chin rests comfortably atop the crown of your head.

“It’s that lecturer, isn’t it?” He asks, and you feel the vibration of his question against you. You aren’t sure why but the warmth and security of his embrace drains all the tension from you. You find yourself falling limply into his hug. You let your face rest against the centre of his chest and you can feel the steady beat of his heart beneath you. You had thought your entire day was ruined with the knowledge of the impending exam before you but somehow Hoseok’s warmth chases that all away into the deep recesses of your mind. All you can focus on is the soft, clean scent of your laundry detergent and the underlying scent of his skin beneath that. He smells sharp but sweet and you inhale deeply, feeling like the scent reaches to the base of your ribs.

“Yeah.” You admit in an exhale. You shift slightly, pulling away and as you do your eyes meet his.

You aren’t sure what it is, but something passes between the two of you, like a charged electric current. You had been absolutely exhausted as of late but suddenly every part of you feels awake. You blink up at Hoseok and feel your breath catch in your throat. You aren’t sure what triggers the feeling but just his proximity and his warmth and the look in his eyes is overwhelming. Something magnetises your gaze towards his mouth. His lips are slightly parted- you can feel each breath that escapes through them and your heart starts to beat a little faster. Hoseok seems to feel it too and is perhaps uncomfortable with it because he abruptly pulls away and clears his throat awkwardly. You both turn your attention to making breakfast once more in an attempt to cover up the sudden tension that hovers in the air between you.

“You’re gonna nail it.” Hoseok finally says, breaking the silence. His voice drifts over to you over the sizzle of the omelettes on the pan and you glance over your shoulder to find him watching you. He’s abandoned cutting the oranges and just leans against the counter casually with a half-smile on his face. “You’re gonna be the best healer there ever was, I can feel it in my bones.”

++

Hoseok’s encouragement leaves you feelings renewed enough that after breakfast you retire to your room to practice the complex spells rather than watch Jimin and Hoseok bicker over whatever FPS game Jimin is obsessed with as of late. You are hoping to get at least an hour of practice in before you have to take Jimin to his dance workshop.

Hoseok’s encouragement was perhaps misplaced, however. To your immense frustration, your magic store seems to have depleted immensely. You don’t know what’s caused it, and you don’t notice it at first. As a witch, it takes a lot of magic usage to tire you out- it is part of why your lecturer is so jealous and spiteful towards you. But two healing spells in and you find you are panting with exertion- sweat beads at your temple and drips down your neck. It’s worrying. Perhaps because you’ve been so tired lately, your magic store has depleted too? Or perhaps you are ill- apparently there are viruses that attack a creature’s magic store and deplete it like a parasite. But those illness are rare and only a misuse of magic can result in coming into contact with such pathogens. A simple flu or cold could explain it but something tells you it’s more than that.

Still, you barrel ahead, continuing to stubbornly practice, ignoring the way each spell slowly becomes agony like you are trying to lick honey from the bottom of a jar and your tongue is not long enough to reach. At some point, you sit down on your bed, promising yourself a minor reprieve before trying once more. You must fall asleep because the next thing you know, you snap awake in your car.

Beside you, Hoseok is driving. Disorientated, you sit up abruptly, and Hoseok starts, nearly veering off the road in surprise.

“You scared me!” He cries. The car jerks forward in a sudden stop. You look around.

“I scared you?” You ask, near hysterical. He frowns and nods. It then occurs to him why you are so distressed.

“You were sleeping.” He says suddenly. “But Jimin had to get to that dance workshop and I didn’t want to wake you because you’ve seemed so tired lately so I just thought that I’d…”

He trails away and you understand where you are- you’re outside Jimin’s dance studio and Hoseok had just been about to pull away from the kerb. Touched, but still a little disorientated and afraid, you realise Hoseok must have just carried you into the car rather than wake you. It is concerning that you had fallen into a deep enough sleep that such a journey didn’t wake you after a few measly spells that on a normal day would be as strenuous as a light nap for you.

“I have been a little tired, lately.” You admit, and the statement is punctuated with a yawn. Hoseok glances at you, fidgeting with the brim of the hat he uses to conceal his horns from any nosy person who might choose to peer into your car.

“Maybe you’re getting sick? You’ve had a really rough week, though, so it’s no wonder.” He suggests sadly. “Let’s give that party a miss, if you’re feeling tired, hey? We can spend the night in and watch a movie or something.”

You nod your agreement, but the entire car ride home you are distracted. You have been more tired than usual, and while previously you wrote it off as stress from bullying, it has been going on for a lot longer than that. Probably since…. Probably since the soul-binding happened. The realisation dawns on you slowly, and with horror you count back the dates mentally and you realise that it matches up. You’ve been tired since summoning Hoseok. You just hadn’t noticed because you’d been so busy with class and you’d been dealing with Hoseok and assumed you were emotionally exhausted. But then when things had gotten better with Hoseok you had written off your exhaustion as spending more time out of the house then usual. You hadn’t really had an excuse to use your magic much since most of your prac classes this semester did not involve strenuous spells… Why is a soul-binding leaving you so tired all the time?

“A penny for your thoughts?” Hoseok asks as he pulls off the highway into your neighbourhood. His tail waves back and forth thoughtfully. You panic, for a moment- Hoseok would be devastated if he thought the soul-binding was affecting you negatively. You resolve to contact your father secretly about your concerns when Hoseok isn’t thereto overhear.

“Just worried about that exam.” You lie quickly. Hoseok frowns.

“I see. Maybe I could help, somehow?” He suggests, his eyebrows wrinkling together as he contemplates how he could aid you. You find yourself smiling despite the distress of your realisation.

“You can help me by being you.” You say genuinely. Hoseok laughs in surprise.

“Do explain.” He urges. You shrug and lean contemplatively back into your seat.

“Just that I’ll probably feel much better after a night in with you.” You tell him dismissively. Since the moment that Hoseok decided not to hate you any longer, you’ve been constantly open about how much you enjoy his company, and normally he smiles and indulges you, but to your surprise he just gives you a long, unreadable stare as he pulls into your driveway.

“Hey…” He says suddenly, as you both get out of the car and walk towards your front door. You look at him a little sleepily, and he glances away. “About this morning…”

You look at him, confused, and he looks away.

“It’s nothing.” He finally says with a sigh. “What movie do you want to watch?”

You let Hoseok pick the movie in the end- you are too tired to sort through the many options you have. He picks some sappy romcom, probably because he thinks you’ll like it rather than any desire to watch it yourself. And on a normal day, you would but you find yourself so exhausted that you begin to nod off not even halfway through the movie. By the time the credits roll, you are out cold.

You rouse slowly, the sound of a love ballad playing softly in the background. You flush as you realise the position you are in- you have a crick in your neck and your back aches from being hunched over and it is because you are so securely wrapped around him. He must have found the movie boring too, because he too is asleep. His head lolls against yours and you feel each puff of breath from his light snores stirring the loose hairs of your forehead. One of his arms is thrown around your shoulders, so that you are tucked comfortably into his body. His tail is wrapped snugly around your waist and from this angle you can’t see the tiny little horns he has.

For a second, you are so warm and comfortable and sleepy that you consider tucking your head into his chest and allowing yourself to doze off once more. But then your common sense kicks in, and you know that Jimin could come home at any moment. It would not look good if his older sister were cuddling a demon who only recently broke up with his longterm girlfriend on the couch. So reluctantly, you begin the reluctant process of untangling yourself from Hoseok. It is difficult, as tired as you are, to move without waking Hoseok. Luckily, while he is curled tightly around you to the point you think he must have been using you as a personal teddy bear, he is also a deep sleeper, and you manage to free yourself with only the slightest disturbance to him. Once you are free, he murmurs softly and rolls so that he is sleeping more comfortably on the couch.

You get to your feet to find Jimin at the door, glaring at you. You both have a stare off for a few moments, and it is Jimin who breaks the silence.

“Can you, like, keep that sort of PDA out of common living areas?” He whispers furiously, gesturing to where Hoseok naps on the couch. You glare back.

“It wasn’t PDA!” You protest back, also in a whisper. Jimin rolls his eyes and folds his arms across his chest.

“Do you even know what PDA means? You were cuddling, on the couch, in a public space. That is the literal definition of PDA!” He abandons the whispering act and says these words aloud but when Hoseok starts to stir, he drops back to a whisper. “Wait… does this mean you like him?” He asks suddenly, like he has just had a very horrible revelation.

To your surprise, the answer does not come immediately and easily like you expect it to. Instead, your face flushes hot, and you feel a burning sensation flush through your whole body without consent.

“W-what?” You ask, completely thrown by this line of questioning. To your horror, you find your mouth is still unwilling to cooperate and hasn’t just answered the simple ‘no’ that Jimin’s question requires. Jimin leans forward, examining your face.

“You heard me. Do you like him?” He jerks his thumb at Hoseok for emphasis. You follow his gaze to where Hoseok is still peacefully sleeping. You are still unable to answer, for some reason. You feel like your tongue is tangled but you also know it shouldn’t be this hard to answer. You feel a sinking sensation in the pit of your stomach- it really shouldn’t be this hard to answer.

“It’s not that hard a question.” Jimin voices your concerns aloud. “Yes or no. Do you want to date him? I personally wouldn’t mind if you did, he’s not that ba-“

“I do.” You say suddenly, and the realisation hits you like a rock the same instance the words slip involuntarily from your lips. You feel like a meteor filled with horror, anxiety but also giddy butterflies has just slammed into the side of your head and your eyes nearly water with the force of it. You like Hoseok. You like him a lot. You like his silly sense of humour, his warmth, his kindness. You like the way he smiles and the way he laughs and you like how he can be surprisingly sassy at times. You just like him. Too much for the short duration of time you’ve been spent together. Too much, considering the history the two of you share.

Jimin’s jaw drops, and he points at you accusingly. He gasps dramatically and you glare back.

“I knew it!” He declares wildly. “Well, I guess you have to thank me, Noona, because thanks to that whole dare thing you got a boyfriend out of it. Make sure at your wedding you credit me and the dare you said was so stupid-“

He cuts his sentence short when he realises the menacing way you advance towards him.

“Noona,” He says slowly, hesitantly, his hands up to show he means no harm. “L-let’s not be too hasty- put down the spellbook, Noona-“

++

Hoseok awakens suddenly and is instantly disappointed to find that he is cold. Not because the temperature in the room is too low. He is a demon and he does not get cold very easily, and someone had thoughtfully tucked a blanket over him at some point (it was probably you because Jimin, at the height of his mischievous teenage years, would be more likely to draw on Hoseok’s face or dip his fingers in warm water so that he would wet himself). No, he is disappointed because the cold he feels means that you are no longer curled tightly into his side. He knows he fell asleep with your body resting against his and your head tucked into the crook of his neck. He distinctly remembers the sensation of your soft breaths and the steady, even beat of your heart being enough to lull him into a sweet slumber. So while he cannot quite pin the exact reason why, the fact that you weren’t in the same position when he woke is disappointing. He knows he should be concerned that he is feeling this way so soon after his recent breakup, particularly after the incident this morning where he had definitely almost kissed you. He should feel remorse at how comfortable he had been curled up against you but it is easier to just shove those thoughts aside and not think too deeply about them. The day your dad gets back (hopefully with a way to break the soul-binding) draws near and it’s scary to think what will happen once you are no longer confined to a 20 metre radius of him. Will you avoid him, throw him aside? Will you continue to be friends? He shakes the frightening thoughts off and pretends he hasn’t been having them, like he’s been doing for the past month.

He hears the sound of a ruckus upstairs but is unconcerned with it- it is probably you and Jimin fighting. The two of you bicker like nobody’s business and if he wasn’t aware of the fact that every night you stay up late to make a yummy lunch for him or the way Jimin will carefully cover you with a blanket if you fall asleep on the couch like you are prone to doing, he may have thought you hated each other. The thought makes Hoseok smile, and he sits up with a satisfying stretch that cracks all the joints in his body.

He hears a buzz from his phone. He had left it carelessly on the coffee table when the movie began, and he shifts out from underneath the blankets to look at the screen. It is lit up with a notification.

He feels like everything in him freezes- like all the warmth and colour has suddenly been sapped from his being. Demons, with their close affinity with chaos and fire, rarely feel cold but Hoseok feels like he’s just plunged into a bath of ice water. Because the sender of the text that glares mockingly up at him is none other than his ex-girlfriend.

He hasn’t had the heart to change the contact info for her on his phone. Perhaps a part of him is still holding out that things will go back to what they are. Either way, the words My love <3 imprint on his eyes and he squeezes his eyes shut. It takes him a second to gather the courage to unlock his phone and read the contents of her text.

She wants to meet. In person. Hoseok wants no such thing- particularly not after the stunts her supposed friends have pulled with you this coming week. He doesn’t think Yeri would have put them up to it, particularly since she seemed rather intent on just forgetting that the whole year-long relationship never happened, but he still can’t help but think slightly less of her for keeping the kind of company that thinks it is acceptable to bully you. Still, he can’t bring himself to just ignore her text, and so reluctantly he texts her your address. He doesn’t want you to know about this meeting, for some reason, and he can comfortably get to the front lawn while you are inside without the barrier restricting his movement. So he tells Yeri to come meet him later in the night when you and Jimin would probably both be asleep. That gives him the rest of the night to stew in discomfort and despair, to lament over the fractured relationship and wish that he could return to napping with you wrapped comfortably in his arms.

He debates taking a glamour potion, to conceal his horns and tail for Yeri’s comfort, but he feels oddly spiteful. He can’t help but recall that you had gone so far as to call his horns cute, and a morbid, masochistic part of him wants to see how Yeri would react to his true form. He waits until the ruckus upstairs has ceased and it sounds like you and Jimin have settled in for the night before he creeps to the front door. It creaks as it opens but he doubts the sound it loud enough to disturb either of you.

On your balcony, the family cat glares at him with one eye, as if it knows what he’s doing is stupid. In an attempt to win its love and approval, he creeps over it to gently pat it. The soft rumble of a purr begins to reverberate beneath his hand and it calms him to the point he almost feels prepared as the headlights of Yeri’s car brighten your front yard.

She gets out of the car and she is as heartachingly beautiful as he remembers. She strides gracefully over to him, looking disdainfully around her surroundings, before her gaze lands on him. Her face goes soft, sad, and in a moment of weakness, Hoseok almost drops to his knees and begs for her to take him back. Then her expression changes into one of disgust as she sees the tail and horns he had not bothered to conceal and the reminder of what went wrong between them is like she is digging a scalpel into his exposed and sensitive heart.

Yeri is hesitant as she comes to stand beside Hoseok on the porch. She goes to pet the cat, and it regards her lazily as she scratches behind one ear. It then rolls onto its back, exposing its stomach to her- a pose Hoseok recently learnt was a death trap. She goes to scratch its tummy, and he grabs her wrist.

“He’ll bite you.” Hoseok explain, refusing to look at her and hoping she doesn’t notice the way the tips of his ears flush red at the feeling of her wrist beneath her fingers. She nods awkwardly, and withdraws her hand.

“Hoseok.” She says softly. His heart used to billow with a sort of euphoria whenever she called his name, but now the sound of her voice just incites a deep, sad ache at the base of his chest.

“Why are you here?” He asks, almost bitterly. He occupies the nervous energy he feels in his fingers by tapping a rhythm into his thighs.

“I… I wanted to see you.” She confesses, and he wishes so dearly that her words didn’t affect him but they do. Because he’s missed her and he wanted to see her too.

“You could have.” He points out. She glances down, ashamed, and nods.

“I know. I was just… I was shocked, was all. I was seriously…” Her voice cracks. “I was really thinking that you were the one and then it turned out you had been lying to me for a whole year.”

“I never lied.” Hoseok protests. “You never asked me what species I was!”

“Not saying anything is the same as lying because you know I wouldn’t have dated you if I’d known what you are!” She argues back, and Hoseok snaps his jaw shut. He feels like she’s slapped him.

“So what?” He demands, hoping the hurt he is feeling doesn’t come through in his tone. “You know now and you ended things. Are you here to rub it in? Or perhaps to tell me about whoever that guy was I saw you with at Namjoon’s party?”

Her eyes go wide and she glances away guiltily.

“You saw that?” She asks softly.

“Yes.” He answers coldly. “Now tell me. Why are you here?”

“I… I want you back.” She softly admits. “That other guy doesn’t matter- I was just trying to distract myself, but all I could think about was how he wasn’t you Hoseok.”

Hoseok almost laughs in bitterness- why does she have to say these words now? Close to a full month later? When it is too little, too late? If she was going to change her mind, couldn’t she have done it before he endured a month of trying to recover from a brokenheart. She takes Hoseok’s silence as permission for her to continue.

“I love you enough, to forget what you are.” She says, and her words are almost sweet. “As long as you keep hiding it, we can be happy together! I’ll take you back, alright?”

It’s funny. A few weeks ago, those were the only words Hoseok wanted to hear. He already intended to spend the rest of his life hiding who he really was, so if she was willing to love him despite his demon heritage, then didn’t that make her a selfless, caring, kind girlfriend? Wasn’t that testament to just how much she loved him, if she were to overlook the fact that he was one of the most reviled species in the world just because she wanted to be with him?

But it’s not enough, Hoseok realises. A month ago, it would have been. It would have been enough that she would love him in spite of what he was. But suddenly, he doesn’t want that. Doesn’t want her. Doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life knowing that the love of his life is disgusted by who he is and is overlooking a massive part of who he is just to be with him. That’s not love… that’s selective blindness. It’s tolerating each other at best. How could he be with someone who doesn’t want all of him?

He knows what’s triggered the change in his attitude, too. He realises it with disturbing clarity- it’s you. You are the reason he’s not satisfied with going back to Yeri while she closes her eyes and pretends not to know what he is. Because he knows what it feels like, now, to have someone accept him for what he is. He knows what it feels like to spend a day free from the side effects of the glamour potion and not feel ashamed or guilty for not taking them. He knows what it feels like to not live in constant fear that you will learn the truth and throw him away in disgust. Most people wouldn’t have put up with him. They would have outed him. They would have resorted to dangerous techniques that could have hurt him to try and break the soul-binding. They wouldn’t have welcomed him into their home, they wouldn’t have agreed to help him keep his secret. They wouldn’t have bent over backwards to protect him, to keep his feelings safe, once they learned he was a demon. And he has so many people in his life who are willing to sacrifice so much for him, but most of them would not even give him the time of day if they knew his true identity. But you would and you have and you continue to do so. So he can’t go back to Yeri, because he’s tasted what true acceptance feels like and he doesn’t want to go back into hiding, to hiding himself behind a mask. And she’s not what he wants anymore. What he wants, he realises with fear and elation, is you. To go back to that moment earlier in the day, when you had been sleeping against him, completely unguarded despite the fact that his tail, a feature that most people think is disgusting and horrifying, was wrapped tightly around you. He wants you, and the warm, happy days spent in your company, he wants you and the afternoons where the house is noisy as you and Jimin bicker, he wants you when you smile when he spends time with you because you secretly love that he enjoys your company somuch. It’s only been a month, such a short amount of time and yet you have become such an integral and vital part of his life so quickly that it scares him.

“I think you should go.” He finally says, his voice soft but final. Yeri’s eyes go wide with shock.

“What?” She asks, disbelievingly. Perhaps she hadn’t thought that Hoseok would refuse. And why would she? She’s beautiful and popular and kind and she’s offering to stay with him even while knowing he’s a demon. What other kind of person would do that?

But it’s not enough.

“I think you should go.” He repeats himself. “I’m sorry, but that’s not enough.”

“What’s not enough?” She demands, tears pooling in her eyes. “Hoseok, I love you. How is that not enough?”

“I… I don’t want to spend the rest of my life hiding.” Hoseok admits, his voice raspy. “I loved you too… and a month ago I would have taken you back. But I don’t want to be with someone who can’t love all of me. I don’t want to be with someone who is just going to pretend the parts of me they don’t like aren’t there.”

“And you think you’ll find someone who will?” She asks, shrilly. The words hurt, but Hoseok does not lose his temper because he knows it’s just cause Yeri is upset. He’s hurt her and perhaps in the morning she will regret her harsh words, but he still won’t back down. Yeri looks around like she’s registering where she is for the first time. “This is that girl’s house, isn’t it? The one that Jihye and Bonghee say you’ve been hanging around? Is this because of her?”

“Don’t talk about her.” Hoseok says, and for a moment he is so furious his eyes unintentionally flash red. Yeri’s eyes go wide.

“Hoseok,” She says slowly. Hoseok inhales deeply, summoning control and patience from deep within him.

“It isn’t because of her, Yeri.” Hoseok says. “We just… we want different things, you and I. We grew apart and I think… even though we loved each other, we need to know when it’s time to say goodbye. And that’s now. So goodbye, Yeri.”

Without his consent, a tear slips down his cheek- he’s cried so much, because of her, but he has a feeling this will be the last tear shed because of Yeri. Yeri, too, seems to recognise that she’s done, because she nods her head, though tears dribble down her cheek.

“Right.” She says, her voice choked. “Ok, then. I’ll just… I’ll just be going then.”

And then he is alone on the balcony, and suddenly exhausted from all the revelations and the conversation he’s just had, he steps towards your front door, ready to sleep.

The light is on inside, and Jimin glances over at Hoseok from where he’s been playing some late night video game on the main television without your knowledge. Jimin stares wide-eyed, and Hoseok stares back.

An silent agreement passes between the two of them, not to speak of this encounter, but it is interrupted by Hoseok’s phone going off. Confused, he looks at the contact icon.

It’s your father. Your father is calling him.

[takemedancingmaine]

38

I'm slipping off my trainers at the front door when Piper steps out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel, another wrapped around her hair on her head.

“You ran?” She asks, stopping short at the sight of me. I stretch an arm across my chest and nod before I pull the milk from the fridge to pour a glass. Her tone is curious without there being any sense of her trying to pry.

It's odd that even though I just ran 8k I still feel lethargic in my movements and brain function. “Not long,” I shrug, my shoulders feeling heavy. “Not my best.” Not by a long shot.

“You still went,” she encourages me. Again, I nod as I stretch my other arm, trying to loosen my upper body after the tension it experienced the past two days. “Can you turn the kettle on?” She begins to move toward her room.

Instead of answering I reach over to the kettle and make sure there's enough water in it before turning it on. She calls a “thanks” over her shoulder as she slips into her room to get dressed.

I need to cool down more before I can shower, so I start pulling out ingredients for oatmeal when my personal mobile rings from its place on the coffee table.

I finally got the courage to look at it last night just before Jack left. I didn't read anything or listen to the messages from Liam or Jack, just deleted those because they both eventually got their answers. I just cleaned out the notifications and then placed it back down on the table until now.

It's Liam.

“Open the bloody door.”

No ‘hello’, no ‘hi, I'm on my way,’ none of that. It's Liam though, so I can't be expecting too much, really.

I frown in confusion but head over to my call box anyway and hit the buzzer.

“Thank you,” he says and then the connection is lost. Not ten seconds later though, my brother is striding through my front door, all tall, lanky Liam and his concerned big brother face he's trying so hard not to make obvious.

He doesn't care that I'm sweaty, he immediately walks up to me and pulls me into a hug. It reminds me of when we were kids and I was scared of thunder and Liam would build a blanket fort with me under the dining table and sometimes just comfort me with a big hug. It reminds me of when I failed my first big uni exam and Liam just wrapped me up in a giant hug and then took me for gelato. And it reminds me of when four months ago our roles were reversed and I hugged my brother with such intensity it felt like I was the only thing holding him together, in one piece.

It feels like he's trying to do the same thing for me right now.

“I'm sorry I'm a shit brother,” he whispers into my hair.

I shake my head as much as I can within the embrace. “No. This was me.”

“Wren-”

“I'm serious,” I hold him tight. “This was all me. I let it get this bad. I need to take responsibility so it won't happen like this again.”

“That's not how it works and you know it.”

“I know,” I sigh.

“Good try though,” he teases. “That sort of cadence and that initial conviction would go far in a courtroom.”

“You came over here just to lecture her on how to be a good lawyer?” Piper says in disdain as Liam gives me a final, tight squeeze and lets me go. He does keep one arm around me though.

“I can't help it,” Liam defends himself as he gives Piper a one-armed hug with his free appendage. “It's just who I am.”

“My god, I don't know how no one has punched you in the face yet,” Piper frees herself from him and begins to make herself tea.

“It's not like no one’s tried,” Liam shrugs. “Are you going in today?” He asks her as he takes in her appearance. “I thought Sunday's were your off day unless there was a showing.”

“I wasn't going to,” she admits and I feel guilt rise within me. She skipped yesterday. “But Wren is okay. She won't be sitting here all day, moping.”

“She won't be?” He glances down at me, curious.

“She won't be,” I say for myself now. The guilt over keeping Piper home yesterday is there, but I need to remind myself that she wanted to. She chose to. I didn't make her. And I feel that I owe her for it, but I don't need to feel guilty for it.

“You've got plans?” He asks.

I nod.

“With Jack?” He is giving me a look, a pointed look, and I know because I can feel it. I don't see it though because I refuse to look.

I nod again and make to break from his embrace to start making my breakfast, but he holds me to him.

“Are you up for that?” His concern right now is not regarding me and the guy I'm seeing, his concern is regarding my mental well-being and whether I'll be okay spending the day with someone. For me, seeing the difference in his concern is easy.

“I'm okay,” I nod once more. “I'll be okay,” I lean into him and give him a squeeze.

“Will you tell me anything about him?” He asks. The concern shifts on its head. One second it's about my mental health the next it's about the fact that I'm seeing a boy. Brothers are ridiculous.

“He's Scottish,” I shrug and slip out of the embrace to start making breakfast. I'd been careful not to overstuff my stomach yesterday and after almost two days of practically fasting. I am understandably hungry after my run this morning.

“Wren,” Liam sighs as he watches me start heating milk for my oatmeal.

“Mm?” I ask.

Beside me at the kettle Piper snorts as she looks between me and my brother.

“Seriously, when am I going to get information about this bloke? He's seeing my sister and all I've got is a name. Just a first name.” He turns to Piper. “I bet you’ve met him, haven't you?”

Piper nods and answers in an even tone, barely glancing up at Liam. “Twice.”

“Wren!”

“What?” I ask as if I'm baffled why he'd be upset with me. I know my tone and aloofness is only going to rile him up further.

Liam huffs in annoyance. It worked.

“Why can't I meet him?”

“You will,” I shrug. I don't mention the fact that Liam has met Jack more than twice. But, to be fair, he has.

“You know…” he shakes his head and sighs. “I really want to start with you, and you deserve me to, but I know you're not back yet. Come Friday dinner though? I'm going to hound you for every detail there could be.”

I just stare at him. I don't doubt his threat for a second.

“Okay,” I say eventually after a few minutes of silence. “D’you want some breakfast? Have you eaten?” I'm stirring in the oatmeal as it heats on the stovetop and as is typical for me I've made way too much.

Liam pops a blueberry into his mouth, greedy hands reaching into the container on the counter, and nods. “Sure, thanks.”

“Where's my nephew?” I ask after divvying up our portions.

“Charlie is fine,” he says, giving me a look. He knows I was jokingly suggesting him being a horrible parent. “He’s with a mate from school until later this afternoon.”

He grabs a bowl and jumps up to sit on the counter. I grab us each a spoon and jump up beside him, Piper rolls her eyes at us before she grabs her brew and takes a sip. She never understood my sitting on the counter until she saw Liam do it. Then she connected it.

She jumps up onto the last bit of free space, caddy-corner from me, our knees touching. I got her to do it our third year of uni. She's been doing it begrudgingly ever since.

“How’ve the two of you been?” I ask. A fortnight out from Charlie’s meltdown and I'm curious. Jack was paying attention to Charlie all week, just as he had done the week before, but with my down days, I hadn't gotten a chance to ask him about it.

Liam shrugs. “It was almost like he was afraid of me for a week or so like he didn't say much and was almost too polite. He didn't start anything with me, not at lunch not at dinner, not when we were almost late to school. Nothing,” he shrugs.

“Can I document this?” Piper asks, a smirk sliding onto her features. “Liam complaining about his son being too polite.”

I snort and Liam just gives her a look that says he's so done with her. He's not. He’s been stuck with her since she and I became friends. He respects her and is fiercely protective of her just like he is of me. He does resent that I've given him another smart mouth to have to endure though.

“It felt like my son was scared of me and that was the worst feeling in the world,” he says. “He's been a bit more like himself recently though.”

“I'm glad,” I give a supportive nudge with my shoulder. “I'm sure he’ll be fine,” I add. “He's just now realizing what happened though and that might take a bit to process, especially because it's so far out from when it happened.”

“Melissa?” He asks, giving me a curious glance.

“Wren,” I give him a serious look and point to myself. “I’m your sister, Liam.” Piper snorts again.

“You are so annoying,” my brother groans.

“O’course I am,” I smile back up at him and lean my head against him for a moment before moving to eat my breakfast.

“I did have a question for you, actually,” he nudges me with his elbow.

I swallow my bite of food and look up at him. “What?”

“How bad was it?”

“It was far from my worst,” I tell him truthfully. “And I have an appointment Thursday where I can hash it out,” I add.

“Piper?” His gaze leaves mine as looks over at her to confirm what I've told him.

“It really wasn't all that bad, Li,” she nods. “She even ate a bit throughout the day yesterday and she did her run this morning.”

“Was it anything in particular?”

Guilt. I can hear it, almost feel it as it wraps around his tone.

“Not that I've been able to tell,” I tell him. “I think it was just me being tired that pushed me to it. I'm fine at work and I'm happy in my life outside of work as well. I really just think I was tired and that strained me.”

“How much sleep were you getting?” He asks.

“Well, I’d still been getting up at the time I used to before I started with the broadcast team. So I was going to bed later and still waking up just as early. I guess it finally caught up with me.”

“And you're going to fix that?” He doesn't ask it like a question, but the query is implied.

“No, I thought I'd quite like to go through this again. Ya know, really experiment and see how long I can hold out between breakdowns. A month? Three weeks? Trial and error to get the perfect amount of exhaustion to push me over the ledge,” I shrug and remark casually.

“You're such a dick,” he elbows me none too gently and gives a big dramatic sigh.

“Love you too, big bruv,” I give him a wide smile before poking his cheek and then shoulder. I keep poking his shoulder.

“Oi,” he shrugs me off. “Christ. I love you. Now, will you fuck off so I can eat?”

39

I'm in my comfiest knit sweater and my oldest, most worn pair of jeans. The denim worked to a point it's soft against my legs. I've got a knit cap on over my hair that's doing wonders to keep me warm as fall and the chill really settle over London in full force.

It is almost November.

It'll hit midweek and then I'll be able to listen to Christmas tunes without anyone giving me shit for it. I can feel the air in a way I couldn't before. It's no longer weighed down with humidity and instead just encases me in a crisp and light feeling. The last of the leaves still on the trees are turning too, and a calm comfort settles over the city as the summer tourists leave and there's a small reprieve.

I think a lot about autumn, and often reflect on it in a metaphorical state. Fall can show us just how beautiful it is to let things go. I'm not sure what it is yet that I have to let go in this particular fall, but I know there's probably more than one thing.

I once read something about how October is about trees revealing colours they've hidden all year. As I walk with the flow of people on the sidewalk I can't help but think people have an October as well, within them just waiting for something to bring it out.

I think of Liam and Charlie and how a song brought out something they'd been avoiding for four months. I think of myself and how Jack has brought something in me out, as well. I think of Piper and how I've seen her so invested in her art recently. I feel so guilty for keeping her home yesterday because she's really thrown herself into her work these past few weeks. I wonder what brought it out in her.

Shoving my hands in my pockets when a particularly cold breeze hits me, I duck my head down and pick up my pace. The clouds in the sky not filled with any threat of rain as I shuffle along.

There are leaves crunching under my feet as I manoeuvre toward his front steps. I shift my bag and hit the buzzer.

“It's Wren,” I say, my voice whipped away by a gust of wind, but somehow he hears me.

“C’mon up,” The buzzing starts and I step inside, closing the door behind me and heading up the stairs.

I notice for a second time today that although I'm up and mobile today, my movements are sluggish and my limbs still feel heavy. It takes me twice as long as it usually would to climb two flights of stairs and I feel physically exhausted having done so.

I think of Liam's concern this morning when he was asking if I was up for plans today, and bite my bottom lip as I try to shake them off. Maybe I'm not, maybe this was a bad idea, but I'm here anyway.

His front door is unlocked, but I give a light knock as I enter. There's music playing softly from somewhere, the back of my mind recognizing it as Fleetwood Mac while I just look around the room. I close the door gently behind myself and place my bag by the door, pushing my hat off and placing it on top of my things.

He emerges from what I assume is his bedroom wearing a grey t-shirt and a pair of dark jeans. I run through my brain to try and remember ever having seen him in anything other than nice trousers or black jeans and am coming up empty.

“Hi,” I look up at him, pulling my sweater sleeves down over my palms and biting my bottom lip.

His hair is still wet from his shower as he gives me a soft look and comes up to me, one hand coming to rest on the small of my back, the other coming up to brush some of my hair from my face.

He's walking a fine line between treating me like I'm fragile and also being respectful of my incredibly raw emotional state. He's balancing quite well, though I wouldn't be surprised if he fell once or twice.

“Hi,” he says back quietly and kisses my forehead. A warm feeling seeps into my whole being.

“My brother wants to meet you,” I spill out quickly.

“Good morning to you too,” he chuckles and pulls back a bit.

I just blink at him. I give him the potentially horrifying news and that's how he responds.

“Also,” he winks and kisses my cheek, “technically I've already met your brother. Many times.”

I groan and roll my eyes. “I don't know if that makes it better or worse.”

“When are we introducing me formally then?” Jack takes a step back and starts toward his kitchen. He runs a hand through his hair.

“He and I do dinner together every Friday,” I turn to follow him. I made the decision to invite him while on the walk between the tube and his front door.

He flips on the kettle and grabs two mugs for us. My head tilts down toward the floor and my eyes latch onto my hands that are wringing together. “He's already planning on interrogating me about you then as it is.”

“I'd be happy to join,” he says and I feel him brush a hand against my shoulder, trying to get me to look up. “He's not going to try and poison me, is he?”

I give a small smile and shake my head. “No,” I look up at him finally. “No, and Charlie is always asleep by then, so that won't be something for you to worry about either.”

His blue eyes flash as he pulls me close, one arm wrapped around my waist and the other pinning me against the counter behind me.

“Tell me something I don't know yet,” he says imploringly.

I take a deep breath, pausing to think of something. “I’m deathly afraid of insects,” I tell him.

“Really?” He asks.

I nod.

“All insects?” He gives me a look of disbelief.

“No,” I shrug. “You know the kinds you hear stories about though, the ones in the Amazon rainforest that can live under your skin or climb in your ears and drive you mad with the sounds?”

“You have much personal experience with those?” He asks.

I roll my eyes. “No, but that's probably because I'm so cautious.”

“Fair point,” he concedes, amusement colouring his tone and his expression. “What else don't I know?”

“I like cold weather. I like fall with the cold air and I love sweaters and fires and hot tea on cold mornings,” I list off. “I also really like old rock music and indie movies and for the past eight years I've gone to therapy.”

“I guess I made a good choice then with Fleetwood Mac,” he smiles and if I strain my ears I can hear the music coming from the other room. “And I've been to therapy too,” he says quickly.

“What?”

“Yeah,” he nods. “Lily went through something a few years back and I'd go with her to her sessions and I ended up going to a few myself. I think everyone could use therapy now and again.”

I let that sink in for a moment. Everyone should go to therapy. Whether they're mentally ill or not. Therapy is a tool, not just for the broken, that helps one understand themselves and their situations better. Whether it's a hard time or a good time, therapy and the tactics learned there are helpful to all.

The fact that Jack said that makes me feel particularly safe. He doesn't see my going to therapy as a misfortune or see it in a negative light. He sees it as something anyone should do if they want to be better. That comfort settles all over my body as our eyes just hold each other.

So I lean up a bit and kiss him, delicately at first and then he reacts as I bring my arms up around his neck. He’s kissing me back with a fervour and I feel hot all over, my skin on fire as he pulls me flush against his long, lean body.

I feel drunk. Not really drunk, not like everything is blurry and detached from me. It’s more like that bouncy, floaty feeling you get when you've had two pints and you're all lightheaded and giddy. That's how I feel. That and then there’s the fire. I'm floating and burning up with the feel of him as his hands roam my back, down my sides, his fingertips lifting up my sweater a bit and skirting along the skin of my waist sending small shocks through me.

I feel him shift and he grabs my waist in both hands and lifts me up onto the counter. I let out a little huff of air in surprise and feel him smiling against my lips as we continue to make out.

He pulls me to the edge of the counter and steps in between my legs, one of his hands getting tangled in my hair as the other squeezes my hip, still brushing against my skin where my sweater has ridden up.

He moves from my lips and begins trailing his down my neck and I use the opportunity to breathe and trail my fingers through his soft, still damp hair. He hums and now that my skin feels all tingly where his mouth has been, he brings his lips back up to mine and slows the pace. Fervour turns into a lingering, and that daydream feeling starts to take over as the fire fades.

He pulls away and kisses my nose, my forehead before biting his lip and looking at me through his lashes.

I run a hand through my hair and sort out a few of the tangles and just try to calm my breathing.

“I thought for sure after seeing me yesterday you'd be done with me.” My voice is only a whisper.

I watch as his eyebrows crease and his eyes search my face. “Do you really think so little of me?”

“No,” I shake my head. “No, that's… no.” I pause and take a breath. “I just… I know that it's a lot, that I'm a lot.”

“You are a lot,” his face is still crinkled in confusion. “You're brilliant and funny and you've got a knack for reporting that tells me it's what you're meant to be doing. You're probably the kindest person I've ever met, despite your disdain for cyclists,” I laugh and so does he before he continues on. “Your loyalty to Piper and your brother is second to none, and the love that you give them is palpable, tangible in the air when you're around them.”

He lifts a hand and pushes some of my hair back off my face, behind my ear. “Most of all though, you’re someone who makes me feel like I've never felt before. I don't know if it's because you challenge my intelligence daily or because you're always looking for a way to surprise me with something. Whether it's that you like the same old bands that I do, or it's that you make the best apple scones I've ever had, I find myself always wanting to know more.”

I don't have the energy to cry. I'm actually physically all cried out. I do feel myself blush this violent shade of red though. A blush that starts in my cheeks and extends all the way down my neck and chest.

“Would you believe that I've never felt this way about someone either?” I ask, my voice only a whisper.

He just blushes and smiles.

“You're special, Lowden,” I tell him.

“You are too, Kearney,” his smile turns to a smirk when he uses my last name. I just blush and bite my bottom lip before he leans forward and kisses me, delicately, but with enough intention behind it.

I smile into the kiss and reach for one of his hands, lancing my fingers together with his.

“You should probably start preparing me for you brother,” he says as he rests his forehead against mine. “If he's as bad as you say I'll probably need as much guidance as I can get.”

I groan. I know he's only teasing, but I just keep thinking of Liam with his courtroom eyes and tone and when I think of those focused on Jack I already want to squirm.

“How about you just be you and in the meantime, we bake the last of your apples into scones and then head out to my favourite place?”

He sighs deeply before, “Alright, deal.”

40

“How’re we up here?” He asks as he spins around in a circle, getting the full 360 views.

“I once swiped Liam’s keycard from his briefcase and never saw fit to give it back,” I shrug. “I think he just assumed he lost it somewhere.”

“And it still works?” He says, looking out, not at me.

“It does.”

I wrap my arms around myself as I do my own spin around to try and see everything. It's beautiful up here. I can't even so much of London, we’re only just over forty stories up. It's seeing a bit of it from up above, from the top of Liam’s office building, though, that gives a renewed or an entirely new perspective.

“How'd you find this place?” He asks now.

“I found it when I was looking for Liam,” I say and sit down on one of the metal rooftop structures. “It was just over a week after April’s funeral and no one could find him. I remembered in uni he used to climb onto the roof of his housing unit and later the roof of his apartment building… I followed a hunch and found him here.”

I feel Jack sit next to me as I look out across the city, the grey sky a calm backdrop to the London I've come to love and know is bustling with life far below.

“He was trying to gain perspective?”

I take a deep breath and hold it before slowly letting it out with a short nod. “I know that sometimes he still finds his way up here, but mostly I've kind of stolen it as my own sanctuary.”

“This is pretty unbelievable,” the awe is present in his tone.

I'm quiet as I look out, just taking slow deep breaths and listening for everything. I feel like Superman when he's floating above the Earth, focused tuned out so that he hears everything going on below. I can just process it all, internal and external, without focusing too much on any one voice or sound that floats my direction.

Jack, for his part, is quiet beside me as I just take it in. After a few minutes though he speaks up.

“How often do you find yourself up here?” He asks.

I know what he's really asking. ‘How often am I as low as I was these past three days?’ I take a deep breath.

I'm really not that bad often. And it hasn't been for a while. Some may say that there's something new in my life that's made me this bad, namely Jack, but I know it's not him. I know it's not Jack’s fault.

There's something about fall that is controversial with me. I’m enamoured by the colours and the crisp air and the activities. I love what it represents, as well: shedding layers and revealing truths, and so much creativity in it all.

The problem with fall is that people with depression often can't help it, they just get sad during winter. I have had both my lowest and interestingly enough my highest moments throughout the fall and winter seasons.

There's so much warmth throughout the season but also so much darkness and to someone with depression, the warmth is intoxicating so much so that we don't notice our own downward spiral.

I truly believe what I'd told Liam this morning: it's because I was exhausting myself and my emotions slipped as a result. I'm sure there are small things, feeling incompetent at work--which has become less common but still sometimes slips in--and not seeing Piper as much now that I'm working later, and I'm sure my worry for Liam isn't helping, but I don't blame him for it.

I don't blame anyone. It's just the cycle of my life. Everyone has highs and lows, and my highs and lows are much more extreme. I try to regulate the lows so they're not so debilitating and remember the feeling of the highs so that I have the good to swaddle myself with. It's a continual effort though, and sometimes I slip.

Not often, but I do. And certainly not as often as I used to.

“I've only been here a few times,” I tell him. “Just once not long after I found this place when I had a bad day at work when I couldn't find my perspective. And then again about a month ago I had a moment when I was just feeling overwhelmed by Liam and Charlie and my own life. I just come up here to think about my place, about where I am.”

Jack nods and I lean my head against his shoulder. The sky is still dark grey and the air is still crisp and cool as it whips around us, colder and sharper up here than it is on the streets below.

“I'm not going to tell you that the past few days are unheard of,” I start, looking out as the sky meets the buildings. “I will tell you though that they're uncommon.”

He wraps an arm around me. “Uncommon?”

“I've been getting better and better at managing myself, and within the past two years that's my second,” his scent surrounds and comforts me when I take a deep breath.

“Sometimes I don't notice small skips though, or I do and I ignore them and think they're not big and then I end up here… Or,” I shrug, “or I just make something little into a big thing and drown under it. In uni, it could be exams or essays or a bad mark if it was on something I knew I could've done better on. Now it can be little things like deadlines or disappointing Liam.”

He rubs his hand up and down my arm as I lean my face into his chest for a moment and then look back out before us.

“It's strange, really,” he says. “I so enjoy the way your mind works. You're brilliant and funny and kind…” he gives me a squeeze. “You have made little things in my life more exciting… cooking and baking, board games, running even. But,” I hear him swallow, “I also now know that that mind I enjoy battling wits with and talking to about work and family and just life, in general, is something that can do this to you.”

I know from experience that taking both sides is a struggle.

“It makes me sad, but not for myself,” he sighs. “It makes me sad that someone as spectacular as yourself feels like this, even if it is uncommon.”

“Life is a constant contrast of good versus bad,” I tell him. “Life is finding the balance and enjoying everything regardless of personal battles and I'd like to think I'm pretty good at maintaining that balance and appreciating the good despite the bad. Setbacks don't make me any less good, I can only learn from them.”

“I'm in awe of your mind,” he says. “Your resilience is admirable.”

I smile a real smile that releases some tension within me. “I'm nothing if not persistent in my efforts to keep moving forward.”

We end up sitting in silence until the cold and wind become unbearable before we make our way back to Jack’s flat where we order Thai takeaway and play card games until I notice the time. I’m trying to get to bed early tonight to gather as much energy as I can for tomorrow. That, and I’m practising sleeping in a bit on weekdays now that I can. The balance between sleeping in and running will be a fun one to sort out.  

It's not until I'm slipping on my knit cap to leave that I think to ask. “It’s not for three weeks, so I know I’m being preemptive with this, but every year in November a whole lot of us gather at Liam’s house for what we call Friendsgiving and I’d like to invite you.”

Jack looks up from where he’s storing the cards and gives an amused expression. “You do know we’re British, right?”

I scrunch my face. “I started it with Piper and our flatmates back in our uni days and now it’s a thing that Liam, Piper, and I do together. Liam invites a few of his mates and Piper and I invite anyone who’s still in the area after Uni and whoever Piper is seeing at the time. We do it as a celebration of how lucky we are to have people willing to partake in a ridiculously American tradition with us.”

Jack makes his way over to me with a few strides and looks down at me with a crinkle between his eyebrows.

“I s’pose if I’m meeting your brother this week then that’ll be fine with him?” he asks. I nod, it’s fine with me. Liam will get fine with it. “Then I’d love to join,” he smiles.

“Okay,” I nod. I’m hypnotised by his blue eyes, they’re unbelievably blue. I’m pretty sure not even the ocean is that blue. I think the ocean might be jealous of this blue.

“Okay,” he says back. His eyes flash and I feel one hand on my waist and another slipping over my cheek as he leans down and kisses me gently.

I feel myself melt in his grasp before he pulls back.

“Friday?” he asks.

“I’ll see you Friday,” I nod, and slip from his hold. He holds open the door for me and with a look back over my shoulder as I descend the stairs, I make my way back down to street and back to face the reality of work tomorrow.

[flyingcookierambles]

aaa masterlist wip ig

a3 en is ending soon can i have an f in the notes? anyways

Archived blogs/transcripts and screenshots (under the “aaa i miss you tag”) (might make a separate list later with direct links/timeline bc there’s a lot)

Login Screens I saved (currently under my “a3 login screens,” tag on my main : KniRouni, Halloween 2, Mankai Apartments, The Moon and the Rabbit, Two Faced Teacher, more to come and might make a separate list anyways)

Why I might take a while to transcribe/post - im a soon to be 24 year old adult with a shitty job and student loans and also FFXIV grind please. i need time to recharge and then sort pictures. also i accidentally keep falling asleep when i come home from work and lay in bed. also uhh i dun goof and deleted a ton of my pictures! D: Im working to restore it but still....uguguuuu i wanna cry just thinking about it......im so sad and mad at myself. im smad....

anyways im joining A3! JPN

personal thoughts and jpn learning links under cut ig:

my thoughts (1, 2)

crappy homemade memes (1) (more to come probably right now im just gonna lol about the generous chad cygames vs the stingy virgin mihoyo genshin and how cygames gives the even black sheep/worst advertised game of their Dragalia Lost their usual free 300+ summons, Scratch-a-thon cards, half stamina, etc. anni treatment that they give to their flagship GBF vs Mihoyo giving their popular game totally nothing lmaooo)

some language learning things that are free:

no im not giving out the direct genki textbook pdf links, those are super easy to find since literally everyone uses them, just google something generic like “genki pdf” and you’ll see. im going to link to some reviews of duolingo jpn course (1,2,3,4 (came out when jpn course first came out 4 years ago, outdated but  gives you more food for thought) (TL;DR grammar explanations and practice/example sentences are not the best and you really should use another textbook (if financially able) or another website, but the way that duolingo has vocab lists that are related to each other by theme/topic (ie weather, classroom) makes it easier to learn vocab instead of genki’s big range of often totally unrelated words in the chapter vocab list (yeah “sad, lamp, green, cloud, often” are totally related words thanks genki????), the r/learnjapanese subreddit wiki beginners recommendations/FAQ+ anki decks found thru searching the sub’s threads, bunpo (apple/ggl), bunpro (yes very easy to confuse i agree lol). other popular sites like tae kim, maggie sensei, etc., are all linked in the subreddit FAQ/beginner’s resources page i linked.

have fun, we’re all suffering together, im stuck in anki N4/genki 2 hell like everyone else and cant read tkrb/enstars music/twst despite them taking up my phone storage, still have issues telling the katakana forms of so/no and tsu/shi apart, and i cant use wanikani since i learned chinese first and had to learn the fricking stroke names and seeing strokes like dian + heng being referred to as a “pot lid” made me annoyed for some reason lol. too americanized for a chinese american kid maybe? lmao

[fanfictionconnectionwordpress]

Mystic Messenger Fanfiction | VanderwoodxOC Cerise - Tagged | Ch. 12 Seven's Bunker

***What a day to post! Saeran route is officially available for Android users and my best friend is over at my place playing it, so we can experience the glory together. I'm hoping for a good route that I can do a continuation for in my Good Ending Continued Series. I just made it through Seven's route again and am drafting the beginning of his version which I hope to start posting by March. Hope to see ya'll reading that too~ Vandy will obvs make an appearance. Oh, btw, next week you get your first Cherrywood NSFW. ;3  ~Let's Connect! FFC***

*Remember, this is a sequel to Vanderwood Backstory, and Cerise has a bio. Don’t forget to subscribe to the email list for access to R-Rated Scenes and my monthly newsletter. You can support my writing on patreon and get access to my VIP Discord Server or other goodies like early chapter releases and hidden scenes.  Tagged Chapter Directory*

After their most recent encounter with Marie, Vanderwood and Cerise had decided to take another day before heading away from the hotel, making a shopping trip to a store for Cerise to purchase some pillows that would make her more comfortable while staying at the bunker. (Hidden deleted chapter for patrons.) It was for the better that she’d be there until Vanderwood could leave the agency. She needed to be kept safe; that was his highest priority. Cerise was simply playing around with her phone during the ride, only putting it away once Vanderwood pulled into Seven’s garage. He locked the security system using the in-car controls before turning to her. “Alright, shortcake…Let’s get you inside.”

Honestly, he was feeling just a little anxious. Vanderwood had always been on Seven’s case that relationships weren’t safe for them, that they didn’t deserve it. Not that he thought Seven would complain, more like he had a feeling the redhead would somehow take revenge on him. Seven would definitely be weird and annoying, that was inevitable, and he rolled his shoulders back, already dreading the idiot’s behavior.

Cerise was just ready to stretch her legs again, eager to get out of the car. Once Marion helped her out of the car, she grabbed her cherry pillow from the back and held it with both arms as they approached who she assumed was Seven. He looked nice enough, and he was already smiling. Of course, Marion had warned her that Seven was a troll, but maybe he was exaggerating. Sometimes it seemed like Marion saw the worst in everything.

Seven was standing in the doorway to the house with a huge grin on his face as Vanderwood approached, standing close to Cerise. Something about the grin on the redhead's face made the brunet feel on edge. "Ooo, I read in her file that she was short, but she is absolutely adorable, Mary." And Seven was already pissing him off. Cerise shuffled, her nose scrunching up in displeasure. The first thing out of his mouth was commenting on her height?

Vanderwood was about to open his mouth to give the redheaded idiot a piece of his mind when Seven started to reach for Cerise's waist like he was going to pick her up. Cerise stepped back, tucking herself a little behind him as Vanderwood felt something ugly stirring in his chest. Not only was Seven about to put his hand over her still healing wound, but the redhead was also about to touch his girlfriend. Vanderwood snatched Seven's arm roughly. "Pick her up, and I will break your arm."

Seven’s eyes widened somewhat at the tight grip. Holy...Vanderwood was mad. The redhead had seen him mad plenty of times, maybe even gotten tased on one or two occasions, but this was different. He frowned and pulled his arm away from Vanderwood's grip, who let go, seemingly a little confused as well at why his reaction had been so violent so quickly. If it had been anyone else, Seven had a feeling his arm would already be broken. Well, no matter, just don’t touch the little lady, and he could still have fun. The redhead grinned just as wide as before at Cerise. “As you wish, Mary dearest. I'm Seven Oh Seven, good to meet you, Lady Vandy. I happen to enjoy your blog as of late. I might have a picture or two of my maid that you can add."

She was glad that Vanderwood had succeeded in keeping his partner from picking her up, still sensitive where her wound was and not really interested in being treated like a child. Cerise chuckled nervously as the man introduced himself. "...Lady Vandy?" Apparently, he knew about her blog...not like it was hard to find it. Cerise glanced over towards her boyfriend who seemed to be in a state of irritation. She slipped her hand into his, giving it a little squeeze. Obviously Vanderwood's anger didn't deter his partner, and somehow, that was unnerving to her. "Uhh...sure, but I don’t think I know your maid?"

Vanderwood was already bristling, clearly not wanting Seven to show off his pictures, but when the girl took his hand, he seemed to get somewhat distracted. It was actually kind of sweet seeing the big guy with his girlfriend. He'd always thought Vanderwood wouldn't be able to find anyone to grab his attention, for longer than a few hours anyway. Of course, it also stung. Seven found what he was looking for and with an exaggerated bow, held out his phone, showing Cerise the photo of Vanderwood and he dressed as maids. Seven was hanging off of Vanderwood's shoulder in the photo, who looked very unamused.

Cerise peeked at the phone with her eyes wide, although as soon as Marion saw that photo, he snatched the redhead's phone. "No. Absolutely not." She had still managed to get a good look though, and now her mind was racing. Was that...was he...? Crossdressing, really? Just what sort of relationship did those two even have? She was horribly, horribly confused. Was this another part of his past that she didn't know about? Cerise kept nervously glancing between Vanderwood and Seven even as Vanderwood handed the phone back to Seven, presumably after deleting the image. Was there more about him that she didn’t know?

Deleting the photo was probably pretty useless, since Seven likely had a million copies, but it at least felt somewhat therapeutic, even with his eyebrow twitching. Cerise’s hand slipped out of his, causing him to furrow his brows and watch her from the corner of his eyes. She seemed…shocked and lost in thought. Well, could he expect anything less when Seven had just shown her a picture like that? He’d have to deal with that later, once the redhead wasn’t around. Vanderwood slipped his hand behind Cerise's back after giving Seven a little shove, getting a laugh from the redhead even as Vanderwood guided Cerise past him, grumbling. "Lay off, will you?"

He led his girlfriend to the couch, but Seven still seemed to be hovering. That wasn’t completely unusual. Vanderwood sighed and rubbed his face. “I’ll be right back, shortcake.” Cerise made a noncommittal noise. She didn't even take out her phone when she sat on the couch as she tried to wrap her head around the situation and make sense of it.

Vanderwood broached the topic of leaving the agency, disbanding it even, but it seemed like Seven wasn’t entirely on board. It didn’t make sense to him. In all the time Vanderwood had known the redhead, Seven had always seemed like he hated what he had to do and the workload. Although, once the kid mentioned his twin brother, Vanderwood felt a tight pang in his chest. He hadn’t known. Well, he’d suspected there was someone that the redhead was protecting, but it made even more sense to him now. "Right, yeah, just give me a day to rest up then...I’ll help you find your brother and then we’ll get out of this." The redhead seemed far more on board with that. It would mean field work, potential danger, being away from Cerise, but that was what it was going to have to take.

Vanderwood rejoined Cerise on the couch as Seven shot him a peace sign and left the house, with a grin that once again had Vanderwood questioning if the redhead was up to something. Cerise was still out of it, only shifting slightly as Marion sat next to her. She hadn’t been able to hear what he and his partner had been talking about, but considering that she didn’t understand what was really going on between the two of them, she wasn’t sure if she even wanted to know.

"So, that's Seven. I took a bullet for that asshole." God, he felt awkward. Vanderwood rubbed at the back of his head. He hadn't addressed the photo yet, but with Cerise sitting here looking like she was going through the shock of her life, he was going to have to deal with it right now. "That photo...that was just us doing undercover work, and in no way do I do that normally, nor did I enjoy it in any capacity." He wasn’t sure if she just had an issue with crossdressing or if she was having weird visions of him walking around in women’s clothing, but he wanted to nip anything like that in the bud right away.

Cerise had been about to ask him about the photo, but he had beaten her to it. His explanation made her sigh in relief. Okay, so that was one less thing she had to worry about...It wouldn't have made her love him any less, she would have just had...a bit of concern. Knowing now that he wasn’t a crossdresser or secretly wanted to be a woman or something…It made the photo a lot more hilarious. He had looked really irritated in it too, like he wanted to kill somebody. "I think..." She started to laugh a little now, the hilarity of the moment really hitting her, "...That you might...pfft...look better in a skirt than I do."

He had been waiting for her reaction, watching her, but when she finally did react, he wasn’t sure how to process that either. Was she laughing at him? And then what she'd said actually started to make sense in his brain. "C'mon, Cerise. I’m too masculine for that bullshit…” His voice kind of trailed off a little before he coughed and the rest of what he was thinking made its appearance. "Besides...no one could ever be better looking than you." It was really true, no one had ever affected him in the way that she did. Her cuteness had been the first thing to strike him when he'd met her, but that had quickly transformed into the knowledge that he found her strikingly beautiful. Vanderwood rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. He needed a change of subject. Now that he wasn’t on a mission anymore and cigarettes were back on the table he also felt like he was getting a craving. "Do you uh...want to watch a movie or something?"

Cerise was still giggling, loving the way he was reacting. Maybe she would have to ask Seven if he had any backups of the photo later. She hoped he did, because she now found that she needed it. Grinning at the compliment, she gave Marion a kiss on the cheek before settling back down on the couch. "A movie sounds great. Let's watch something you like." Cerise was a little excited to see the type of thing he would watch on his own. So far, they'd only watched things together that she enjoyed.

"Um..." Something he liked to watch? Mostly all he'd ever watched was action movies and laughing at the crazy shit they did in the secret agent ones. Sometimes he'd complain about them totally flubbing something up...but if she wanted to watch something he wanted to watch..."I guess that'll be a secret agent movie then." The nerd in him had considered grabbing Niron Man, but he didn’t quite want to reveal just how much of a dweeb he was right now. He smiled sheepishly, getting up from the couch to grab a movie he'd watched several times and starting it up. Cerise just giggled at his selection as he worked on getting things ready. Did he like to watch secret agent movies ironically or something?  

Vanderwood stretched and looked at the couch as the opening previews started to play. After being cramped up in the car all day, he really needed to stretch out. Maybe Cerise wouldn't mind. His face filled with a little bit of color. "Shortcake, you think I could lay across the couch and you could uh...lay on my chest maybe?" Why was he being so awkward to ask such a simple little question? She tilted her head a bit at his request before smiling widely. "I'd love to do that." Cerise wasn't about to pass up an opportunity to snuggle up to him, no matter the reason, and laying on his chest while watching a movie sounded cozy and actually sorta romantic. She shifted out of the way to let him lay down, grabbing her cherry pillow from the cushion where she’d placed it and hugging it tight.

He stretched out onto the couch, making a soft groan of relief at getting to lay down and relax. Vanderwood was really getting into this lazy day stuff. He furrowed his brows, eyes scanning the room. It didn’t look like a pigsty…Had the redhead cleaned up on his account or for Cerise? Or was the redhead really planning something?

Once Cerise had settled down onto Vanderwood’s chest, he reached for the remote and started the movie. She could probably hear his heart skipping just a little as she'd first laid down, something he was starting to get used to when it came to her. Vanderwood stroked her hair and back gently, knowing she liked that from the time they'd spent watching TV in the hotel room. Cerise could hear the quickening of his heartbeat as she snuggled the cherry pillow trapped between them. She found the way his heart changed pace as she nuzzled him endearing as well as amusing. This man wasn't playing when he said he had feelings for her, and it made her own heart beat faster. Cerise couldn't help but to close her eyes despite the movie playing as he stroked her hair. She was a victim to the calming sound of his heartbeat. The way he was gently stroking her hair and then her back...who could blame her for having heavy eyelids?

He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head as he hit play on the main menu. This was so incredibly pleasant. His brows furrowed as a soft hissing got his attention. Vanderwood looked up, seeing the emergency sprinkler directly above him opening up. Shit fuck, and the next moment the sprinkler started pouring on them. He was pretty stuck with her on top of him, not wanting to move too fast and knock her off him to get hurt.

Cerise was just able to drift off when she was beginning to get soaked with water, causing her to shriek and jump up. Her first instinct was to protect her phone, so she shoved it in between the cushion and arm of the couch. It was already too late for the pillow she was cuddling in her arms. She looked up to see that all of the water was coming from the sprinkler above the couch and moved away from it to try and get out of range of the thing. "How do you turn this thing off!?"

Vanderwood was about to get more soaked than he already was. "Fucking...Just a second." He pushed himself up and hopped onto the couch, reaching up to the sprinkler and manually placing it into the locked position, stopping the downpour. Everything was sopping wet, from his hair, to his clothes, to his girlfriend. His jacket and gloves would need some tending to after this bullshit. Grumbling, he hopped off the couch, pulling off the items and hanging them over a nearby chair to dry. This had to be Seven. One single sprinkler turns on and it happens to be the one right above them? Vanderwood turned to check on his girlfriend. "You alright, Cerise? Besides being wet, I mean." His eyebrow twitched just a little. The redhead was going to get it. He didn't know how yet, but he'd figure it out.

Cerise nodded and looked to the now soaked couch where her phone was hidden, approaching slowly just in case the sprinkler decided to come back on. She reached for her phone, scrunching her eyes closed tight before trying to press the home button and then opening her eyes to see if it had turned on. Thankfully it still worked and wasn't damaged…but her poor pillow. Cerise squished it a little and water dripped onto the floor. She stared at it blankly for a moment before tears formed in her eyes. Once a soft, fluffy pillow got wet, it would never be the same again. She hadn't even gotten to properly cuddle it yet! It probably seemed silly to cry over a pillow but dammit! It had so much cuddling potential! Cerise kind of crouched with the wet pillow and held it to her chest, not caring because she was rather soaked herself. One last cuddle for her fallen comrade.

He watched rather helplessly as tears formed in her eyes. Holy shit, his girlfriend was crying! What was he supposed to do? He felt completely unprepared. Oh, that redhead was so dead. Vanderwood just went with his gut instinct and crouched down next to her, pulling her into his arms with gentle care and kissing the top of her head. He didn't say anything, not really one hundred percent positive on why she was crying, but he supposed that didn't really matter at the moment. What was important was that he got her to feel better, and this seemed like a normal way to do that...right?

Cerise leaned into him and sniffled a little. "The pillow you got me is ruined...you're not supposed to get them wet..." Vanderwood held her a little tighter as she sniffled. "I'm sorry, shortcake..." It seemed a rather silly thing to be crying over to him, he’d been concerned that it was something horrible. Well, maybe this was horrible in her mind. The harder Cerise squeezed the pillow, the more water dripped from it. It was like her pillow was crying too.

After a few minutes of silence, she straightened herself up and did her best to wring out the rest of the water from the pillow. She sighed and looked at it with a sad expression before turning back to Vanderwood who was starting to stand up now too. "At least I still have it so...that's a plus." Cerise shivered a little, reminding her that she was indeed still wet, and the room was a little chilly. "We should probably go get some dry clothes. "They were pretty damn soaked, and Vanderwood wasn’t about to disagree with her, definitely not when she’d just been crying. "Let me just go grab your stuff out of the car.”

He was thinking about how he would get back at Seven as he headed out to the car, grabbing her bag from the back. His eyebrow twitched as he heard something else, faint thanks to his hearing damage but... Was that barking? Oh no. Oh no, no. Vanderwood broke out in a run back to the living room.

Cerise had taken out her phone to write a status update while she waited when she heard shuffling. She looked around confused until there was barking. What looked like a tiny robotic dog had wandered into the living room and was barking at her. It was actually kinda cute, and she kinda wanted to...pet it? She had made up her mind to do so when Vanderwood came barreling back into the living room, yelling not to touch it.

"Cerise! Whatever you do don't touch that dog!" What the Hell was the redhead thinking? That stupid fire-breathing guard dog could really hurt her. Of course, Seven was probably sending it out for him, but really. What the fuck? The dog was standing in the living room, facing the doorway as Vanderwood came in, and then it's mouth opened, an orange glow visible. Oh shit. He ducked out of the way and ran to pick up Cerise, carrying her bridal style.

She had turned to shoot him a puzzled look before the dog's mouth began to glow, and then he was picking her up and running off with her. It was hard for her mind to keep up. The dog started to spew flames from its mouth as it chased him. What was even happening...? "The dog breathes fire!?" She asked him incredulously. Was this normal for this place? It wasn't long before the lights went out too, the only light coming from the glow of the robot dog's flames. Now Cerise was panicking and terrified. It was like something out of a horror movie.

Holy Lord, this wasn't good. He couldn't remember the damn command for the mutt. Had Seven been banking on him remembering? Jesus. "It's okay, just...gotta remember what ‘heel’ is in Arabic." Vanderwood was going to strangle Seven. It was dark too, and he was having to think hard to figure out where his own room was. Cerise was in danger in his own damn house. He started randomly spewing the Arabic words he could remember as the dog continued to bark away. At least it was keeping its fireballs restricted to the floor. Vanderwood got to his doorway after what felt like running in circles for ages, placing Cerise and her bag inside. "Change here, I'll take care of the mutt." He closed the door as fast as he could to keep that dog out, running back into the living room to find his Arabic dictionary in his jacket.

Cerise stumbled around in the room a bit in the dark, her heart beating wildly and trying to calm down. She was worried but was sure that Vanderwood could handle it...being an actual secret agent and all. Still...that dog was scary. What dog breathes fire anyways!? She dug around in her bag to try and find some clothes to change into. She couldn't really see, so she grabbed whatever. Matching was the least of her problems at the moment, and she just wanted to be out of her wet clothes. Cerise peeled off her clothes and replaced them with the dry ones she had randomly chosen. Just as suddenly as the lights had turned off, they turned back on. Did that mean Vanderwood had successfully defeated the scary fire breathing robot dog? She wanted to take a peek outside of the dorm but decided against it, because who knew after that what she would find?

Vanderwood had been stumbling around trying to find his jacket when the redhead finally decided to show a little mercy by turning the lights back on. He was probably laughing his ass off as he watched from the CCTV's. After grabbing his jacket and rummaging around in the pockets, he was finally able to find the dictionary. It was soaked, but somehow, he found the right page. Vanderwood gave the command and the dog stopped completely, sitting back on its haunches and shutting down.

Such a quick fix for something so disastrous. He breathed a sigh of relief and focused on trying to catch his breath. There were scorch marks all over the floor. So that was why the house had been clean, why he’d used the sprinkler on the couch. Seven had been trying to keep from starting an actual fire or damaging anything important. The brunet’s eyebrow was twitching like mad, his skin starting to crawl as he looked at the mess. Vanderwood needed to clean…but then Cerise was probably worried. As much as he couldn’t stand the mess, his OCD making him itch like mad, Vanderwood started to make his way back to his room. She was far more important than the mess.

"Everything's fine now, shortcake!" Vanderwood called out to her before he returned to his room, pausing before entering, not wanting to walk in on her changing like he had that one time. He knocked and waited for her okay before opening the door and going to her, taking her face in his hands. "Are you alright?" His brown eyes searched her gold ones as he ran his hands over her, looking for any injuries just in case, too focused on the task at hand to be flustered by it.

"I'm fine...are you?" He just nodded as he continued what he was doing. Cerise didn't really care that he was dripping some water on her as he checked her over, she was just happy that he was able to handle the danger and get back seemingly without any injuries. Having him worry over her like this was sweet...even if having his hands run over her was a little flustering. She knew his mind wasn't anywhere near that, so she didn't make a fuss over it. "You should probably get changed yourself. I'll wait outside the door." It shouldn't be a problem if the threat of the dog was taken care of. Cerise gave him a quick squeeze before she headed out the door, closing it behind her and waiting for him to change.

Vanderwood had been about to tell her that he had an attached bathroom, but she was already headed out of the door, and he was getting hit with a Hell of a realization. Only then did he realize that he'd just touched her practically everywhere. His face turned all sorts of red as he grabbed some clothes to change into, getting out of his soaked pants as well as his shoes and everything else. He could walk around the house barefoot just fine, so Vanderwood threw on just a t-shirt and some pants, praying to whatever douchebag of a God existed that Seven was done with his trolling game before joining Cerise just outside his room in the hallway.

When he finally reappeared from his room, she turned around to face him and couldn't help but to blush a little. He was wearing normal clothes...just a t-shirt and pants, but somehow, he made it look extremely attractive. She was pulled from her thoughts when he started getting close to her and her heart felt like it was beating out of her chest. Normally she wasn't this hyper aware of him or this flustered at the mere sight of him...What was going on? He was giving her a sheepish smile, trying not to think about the fact he'd just had his hands all over her.

His thoughts slipped to Seven, anger and tenseness slipping into him, worse the more he thought about it. He decided to focus on Cerise, knowing she had that amazing ability to calm him down...when she wasn't irritating him too. A small snort escaped him at the thought. She was his everything, and he was really going to give that redhead some good payback, although he wasn't positive on how yet. Vanderwood bent his head to give Cerise a kiss. Cerise melted right into him, her hands going to his chest as he pulled her closer. Was her heartbeat even wilder than normal? She didn’t have time to dwell on it.

The floor was moving out from under them, and Vanderwood broke their kiss just before it sped up even more. Fuck. How had he forgotten about the damn hallway conveyor belt? They tumbled, causing Cerise to shriek in surprise. Thankfully, she had fallen on top of him. Vanderwood grunted as he hit the floor, quick to wrap his arms around her protectively. Then the conveyor belt just stopped moving, having deposited them at the end of the hallway.

Once the dumb conveyor belt stopped moving, she attempted to check on him, because he was the one who had the pleasure of falling right onto the floor with extra weight on him. "Marion! Ohmygosh Are you okay?" Luckily, her wound hadn't been disturbed much. It ached a little, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

Vanderwood’s mind was turning toward revenge. Seven was so dead. He probably wouldn't be home until late that night, but that meant he wasn't going to get much sleep…Perfect. It really wasn't time to think about that right now with her on top of him, though, and now she was fussing over him. He couldn't help but blush at how she was checking on him, using his real name. It just sounded so nice coming from her. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, shortcake." His hand found her cheek, thumb stroking gently. "I'm fine." Actually, he was surprised that he wasn't so tense that he couldn't think, surprised at just how little effort it was taking to push irritation away in favor of caring for her and enjoying her presence. It seemed like the more he had gotten used to not using sex as a stress-reliever, the easier it was to relax normally. That felt so fucking good. No pun intended.

Cerise sighed in relief and smiled as he responded to her. The guy took bullets and being cut like a champ, of course a fall wouldn't hurt him...but she still couldn't help but to worry. Cerise nuzzled into his hand before realizing that maybe she should get off of him, so he could get up. She laughed nervously and stood up, blushing something fierce again. "I uh...thanks for breaking my fall by the way..."

That blush on her face was supremely adorable, and he immediately responded without even thinking. "I'll always be there to break your fall...Just like you were when I fell for you." Cheesy. He was going to have to get used to the fact that he sounded like an utter idiot when he was hitting on her. All other women, he was charming and sultry, but no, he was just a cheesy idiot with her. Vanderwood got up from the floor, briefly rubbing the back of his head where he'd whacked it, for once not rubbing it because he felt awkward. He was so sweet, and it was just making her blush worse. She turned around, so he couldn't see her, rubbing at her cheeks...which was probably doing absolutely nothing.

He looked up at the CCTV directly above them and flipped it off. It was best to get the two of them out of any main areas of the house where Seven could enjoy watching his trolling through CCTV feeds. "Let's head to my room...It's safer in there." Cerise nodded her head in agreement, hoping that maybe magically her blush would go down, as she turned to follow him back to his room. They were both stepping carefully, so as to avoid the conveyor belt. Yeah...his room was probably safer. She didn't quite know what was going on, but she definitely didn't want any more surprises from the weird house.

Vanderwood was busy hating himself for having moved into Seven’s house, but it had become impossible not to with the way the redhead had started slacking when that ‘MC’ joined the RFA or whatever stupid charity group it was that the idiot had joined despite the security risk. Could he really judge the redhead for the security risk anymore now that he had his own? It was better not to think about it. Honestly, it all felt a little like déjà vu, as though maybe he’d been through this route of things several times before. His scar from Drawl started to ache as well as his head, so he just shook his head and opened his door, holding it open to let Cerise inside. At least they’d be safer in here.

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[stillwinterair]

As I said in that last post, there was a brief period between the ages of 15-17 where I was... good at being a functioning human being? I was great at being social and making friends and talking and like. I was finally really overcoming a lot of the negative crap that I’d had instilled in me my whole childhood, and I had a large, solid group of friends, and for the first and only time in my life it felt like people actually liked me, I stopped second guessing them and really just doubled down on enjoying them and enjoying myself and enjoying my life

Sophomore year was the most comfortable I’d ever felt in school because I started making a lot of friends there, as well as outside of school, but junior year that all sort of fell apart for reasons I still can’t quite explain? That was when Formspring was really popular and it was when I was really first amassing a lot of Facebook friends so suddenly people just started making up these random rumors about me and sending them to me on Formspring, and in my head I was like, “well, if these rumors exist, I might as well address them and say they’re false,” but I was young and dumb and failed to see that actually responding to them and Putting Them Out There would make MORE people see them. This really started getting bad around spring, and then I deleted my Formspring during the summer but by then the damage was done

So by junior year my in-school friends shrank in number, but the friends I had were at least a lot closer, and then that’s when I really started to lean on my out-of-school friends, who I’d hang out with downtown every weekend, and that was GREAT. Most of high school is a weird depression void from which few memories can escape, but I remember so many of those weekends and so many moments. I remember my digital camera in my back pocket every week, watching the sun set behind the trees from the top of a parking garage, sitting on my ass Thursday night and Friday after school on Facebook frantically messaging everyone to figure out if they could come hang out, watching movies when I had enough money, eating dinner made from snacks at a convenience store when I didn’t, WAY too many of us loitering together in the old Borders, sitting by the fountain when it was warm and sunny, standing by the fire pit next to Copper Canyon Grill when it was cold and dark, huddling and shivering together in the snow, sliding across grates when it rained, finding an abandoned old blue-tiled alley full of shut-down shops (and nicknaming it Diagon Alley), I remember the faces of every single boy and girl I had crushes on but refused to tell because I didn’t want to make our weekly hangouts awkward, I remember pissing off the security guard by the 7-11, I remember us hogging two whole booths in McDonald’s, I remember the friends who were always busy and could only show up once every two months or so but it was always such a treat to see them there because time with them was rare and precious and always, always perfect. I remember laughing and smiling and not going home until 1 in the morning some nights and dreaming about never leaving at all.

But then senior year happened, and that all just... fell apart? I got really sick for so many months that my school basically just said “yeah, don’t come back because you’ve missed too much school to graduate, come back in the fall and graduate a year late,” and then I just got really fucking depressed, and in just the few months I was sick that entire friend group completely fell apart. Nobody went downtown anymore, everybody was busy all the time, no one had time for me. I graduated high school on C’s and D’s and took a year off from doing anything because I felt so empty. I played New Vegas and Skyrim over and over and over again because they were the only things that made me feel like myself.

Ironically, that deep depression was when I discovered some of my favorite things in life. I thought I hated high fantasy, but Skyrim taught me different. I thought I hated reading, but “Finding Fish” by Antwone Fisher fixed that.

There’s a big part of me that’s always wanted to recapture those days before I got sick, but I just can’t figure out how to. I can’t remember how to be social. Some days I can’t even remember how to talk to people, and most days I just stutter and stick my foot in my mouth when I try to. Working a customer service job is killing me because I feel so awkward and flustered every time a customer asks me anything. I never managed to make friends in college because I shut down so easily, and I never went out of my way to talk to anybody because it just scared the shit out of me, because I was so convinced that I was ugly and annoying and just The Fucking Worst.

But I’m also realizing that I don’t need to recapture that? Not 100%, at least. I’d like to be a lot of those things again, I really would. I miss having a group of friends like that, who find adventure in even the smallest things. Hell, I miss having friends at all. But there’s also a lot I hadn’t discovered about myself then that I’m glad I know now. And a lot of things I’m still learning about myself, or still parsing out, and it gives me some sense of freedom.

Obviously a part of me is worried that it’s too late for a lot of things.

But the rest of me is hopeful. Not quite optimistic, because I’m... not. But, at the very least, hopeful. I only really got to be a teenager to the fullest extent for about two years, and I NEVER got the opportunity to really be a kid, so I’m always going to be pining for that.

But... man, I don’t know how to say what I’m trying to say. I just want to be my best me. I want to be a new person, but I also want all the best parts of who I was then. I’ve spent the last six or seven years so desperately wanting to be who I was before, but I’m realizing that maybe it’s okay to be something new and different. Maybe it’s okay to let myself indulge in the things I always felt guilty about feeling. And maybe I can combine all these things with all the best elements of who I was before senior year, and mix them all into something new and exciting that makes me happy and comfortable. I’m a different person now than I was then, and sure, I don’t like who I am now for a plethora of reasons, but that’s not to say I have to go back, nor that I have to stay who I am now

I feel like I’m talking in circles and this is really frustrating. I’m just gonna end it here. The main point I’m trying to reach here is that, I’ve spent a lot of time either not being true to myself, or being prevented from being true to myself, and the brief glimpses of happiness I’ve had have brought me so close, and while I miss those moments, I’m glad I have the memories, and it’s okay to move onto something else, and I’m going to use those thoughts and moments and memories and hopes and dreams to inform who I want to be, and what I want to do, and where I want to go, and it’s not going to be easy--it’ll be really fucking hard, in fact, because god, there’s so much shitty programming and abuse and other crap I’ve got to get past--and I may not ever get there, but. I want to. And that’s what matters, I guess.

I’m going to go play video games now. Sorry if this is a confusing jumble but I’m not totally sure how to translate these very conceptual thoughts into physical words but to be fair you don’t actually have to read any of it