#might just translate them and that's it for completion sake

[jester-lover]

P4 Relationship Headcanons

Authors Note/ I have read the manga up to the last English translated volume, but I’ll stick to the public school arc characterizations of them for convenience’s sake.

CW/fem! reader but otherwise no physical description , fluff, kindof accurate Victorian courting, a little angst, manga spoilers! I most definitely forgot this arc was getting animated, so I’m late, might be a little OOC, it’s been a few months since I read the manga

Edgar Redmond

Flattery was his main method of gaining your affections: descriptive poems sent to your mailbox, tulips and chocolates left on your doorstep by a mysterious admirer—a carefully held facade that fell apart when Edgar realized just how badly he wanted your affections returned.

While he has always considered himself a free spirit, capable of swiftly moving from one lover to another, he has an epiphany when he realizes he needs exclusivity with you. Edgar has found something beyond flings with you, a woman who can truly make him nervous; make his heart beat against his chest every time you bless him with a glance.

He isn’t always the most touchy lover, but he tends to take your arm in his while the two of you are out together. (He’ll do nothing more, as he doesn’t want rumors to spread around your private relationship.)

Edgar tends to fuss over you a bit, fixing your dresses, brushing his fingers over your coat, and generally keeping your appearance looking tidy; it’s an act of service that displays his affections for you.

Lawrence Bluewer

When I say all of his sisters gang up on him to tease him about his crush on you, I mean it. Lawrence tried his best to keep his love for you a secret, but his yearning glances over his glasses reveal his truth. They encourage him to speak to you, giving him advice about what women like. (Trust me, he needs it.)

Lawrence is a very dedicated man, particularly when it comes to you. He holds up all of the important customs of an exemplary Victorian man and treats you as an equal in all matters.

He’s adamant on listening to your opinion on matters involving the two of you, but he’ll also ask for your opinions on issues in his home and dorm. Your opinion is important to him.

Lawrence is a very intelligent young man; if you ever find yourself struggling with your schoolwork or a matter of principle in your personal life, he’ll help out to the best of his ability.

Call him by any affectionate nickname, and that carefully held stoicism crumbles before you, and a red tint suddenly appears on his pale face. The only time he ever broke his own rules was after the cricket match, when he embraced you tightly in the stands after winning, so much more proud of his victory now that you had seen it.

Herman Greenhill

It feels as if someone has struck him in the heart each time he lays his eyes on you. He can feel the warmth of his skin and the sweating of his palms each time he tries to talk to you without stumbling through his words. Herman is so utterly rigid and awkward around you, it’s completely obvious he’s head over heels.

He’s often flustered around you, even when you’re already courting, as one of his ideals of chivalry and respect is treating ladies kindly. He acts like a strict old man and a shy schoolboy at the same time, wanting your touch so desperately but bashing himself for it.

You will probably have to enact most of the affection between the two of you, sneaking kisses when your chaperone turns away, holding his hand when you walk into a more private corridor of his residence, and cheering loudly at his games. The easiest way to get a reaction from Herman is by showing off your stockings; he’s a sucker for good hosiery.

Despite his proud and sort of arrogant personality, Herman is a shy and careful lover; he remembers all of your favorites and special days, and he loves receiving your praise. Whenever he achieves something, he immediately looks to you, waiting to see what you make of him.

Gregory Violet

You wouldn’t even know of his existence when he first saw you, but he was always there, with a thick black sketchbook filled with drawings of you, going about your daily routine and interacting with others in a way he only wished he could. The sheer amount of yearning he does could put the poets to shame.

You are his muse; even when Gregory is creating something completely irrelevant to you, he’ll remember you; you are so infused with everything he makes. Because he has put you on this goddess-like pedestal, he doesn’t think he deserves you, which is why he’s so surprised when you agree to court him.

Gregory’s affection comes in bursts; some days he’ll be too nervous to look you in the eye, but other times he’s practically joined at your hip. He’s not the most talkative lover, but when his eyes flit through you, examining you closely with a blush stretched across his features, he appreciates you like you are art.

He plays the role of the gentleman in public, keeping his respectful distance, but he often seeks your comfort in the few moments you can sneak alone, laying his head on your lap as you brush through his two-toned hair and rambling uncharacteristically about the struggles of his role. He’s a non-conformist, and he often wished the society you lived in wasn’t so strict, so that you and him could act as wild and free as you did in the leather binding of his sketchbook.

[melancholymegumi]

woah, baby where ya' goin'?

multichars n what hybrids (cats , dogs & bunny) they prefer! (bllk , bnha , jjk)

cw. hybrid talks , nsfw (mdni) , breeding kink , fem!reader , use of the word 'cunny' , heats n ruts mentions , kind of co-dependency (?) in puppy hybrid if u squint . lemme know if I need to add any warnings

bunny girls fever !

these guys love and need a soft , submissive and behaving little hybrid. they are already stressed the fuck out with their work, they do not have time for a misbehaving and feisty pets like a cat. But they also just want a pretty little girl who'll have her pussy prepared for them. Face down ass up with no complaints , begging to be cared for and nurtured for every single time. Wanting bunny girls also meant that they have a staggering breeding kink. Soft breedable cunny that's ready to give them babies , they are a family person after all. Why else would they get a bunny?

Nagi Seishiro , Reo Mikage , Chigiri Hyoma , Barou Shoei , Isagi Yoichi (he just likes them because they're cute, mainly.) , Chris Prince , Itoshi Sae, Nanami Kento , Naoya Zenin , Geto Suguru , Megumi Fushiguro , Higuruma Hiromi , Yuta Okkotsu , Kong Shiu , Izuku Midoriya , Yo Shindo , Todoroki Shoto , Enji Todoroki.

come here , kitty kitty !

these guys are freaks. they want cat girls mainly because of their mean and bratty demeanor. they want something to tame, and that 'something' is you! Perfect , mean and elegant little kitty who misbehaves just for the sake of it. and he eats it the fuck up. he looveesss your little outburst. Encourage it even, just so he has a reason to fuck you nice and deep into the mattress. Of course, they love your heat seasons too! but it's not like they can't breed you everyday, so it's just a nicer occasion<3

Shidou Ryusei , Aiku Oliver , Karasu Tabito , Reo Mikage (you didn't hear this from me.) , Kaiser Michael , Gojo Satoru , Fushiguro Toji , Ryomen Sukuna , Atsuya Kusakabe , Izuku Midoriya (you didn't hear this from me) , Touya Todoroki , Katsuki Bakugo , Tokoyami Fumikage , Shinsou Hitoshi , Aizawa Shouta (even though you're a hassle, you're his hassle)

Puppy girls demeanor !

oh, sweet loveable loyal puppy. he loves good and obedient yet cheerful and loyal girls. aka , you! A sweet little puppy who whines for his attention, gets happy from a little bit of praise and needy as fuck. Just what he wants. It makes him feel superior. You being able to fend for yourselves sometimes is also a game changer for him. You're literally perfect for him. You , completely clueless yet happy whenever he does something. It makes him want to knock some babies into ya'. he loves loves loves your rut season <3 begging for him and whining about how it hurts but not launching yourself onto him. Being completely patient and only doing subtle things until he finally realizes and takes care of you!

Kunigami Rensuke , Noel Noa , Alexis Ness , Kirishima Eijiro , Sero Hanta , Denki Kaminari , Present Mic , All Might , Yuji Itadori , Aoi Todo , Gojo Satoru

all writing is made and owned by @melancholymegumi on tumblr and only on tumblr. do not repost or translate without my permission.

[00-jammy-00]

Helloo!!^_^

Could I request a yan who everyone likes? Like nobody would suspect yan!

I guess golden retriever!yan? Maybe darling tries to say something but nobody believes them because they think darling is trying to ruin yan’s reputation ? :33

Btw could I be 🍯 anon?

Yan!GoldenBoy HC’s

Yan!GoldenBoy x GN! Reader

Content warning - Yandere themes, obsession, murder, nsfw mentions, possessiveness, stalking, yan has mood swings, he’s a little bitch.

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Yan!GoldenBoy who was good looking. He could get anything he wanted with a hand through his hair and a flash of his charming pearly whites. He knew he was handsome, he knew people trusted him, he knew all this and he knew it would only make it easier to get you.

Yan!GoldenBoy Who has been obsessed with you for months! He was playing basketball for his school when he saw you for the first time. You were just sitting on the benches, none of that cringe ‘they were reading a book instead of paying attention.’ you were simply watching the game but you looked so radiant while doing it, he couldn’t help but rush over when the game finished.

Yan!GoldenBoy Who tripped over his own feet to chase you down near the exit, he put an arm around your shoulders and flashed that charming smile. He talked to you for a few minutes, making sure to totally not brag about the fact he was the captain of the basketball team, he was really humble you know?

Yan!GoldenBoy Who offered you a car ride home with those gorgeous honey coloured eyes yet was completely shocked when you said no. You said…no? What the fuck does no mean? Who the fuck do you think you are?! You’re lucky he doesn’t fucking kill you!

Yan!GoldenBoy Who just gives you a sweet smile and insists only to clench his jaw when you refuse again. God you’re making this so fucking hard, you’re gorgeous, you’re everything, which means you’re meant to be his for fucks sake.

Yan!GoldenBoy Who vows he’ll never leave you alone. You’re destined to be his, you’re perfect, he’s perfect, so you have to be together, you’re soulmates! He uses a few favours to find out everything about you. Your address, who your family is, where you work, your favourite brand, what your favourite scent is, your zodiac sign, blood type, what hospital you were born at, what cemetery you might want to get buried at. You know, the usual stuff.

Yan!GoldenBoy Who is practically drooling as he jerks himself off to your underwear which he had…borrowed…from your house on his last so called visit. He had cum so much he was having dry orgasms babe! Why do you still not want him?! He could be so good for you!

Yan!GoldenBoy Who sits in his nice car with a pair of binoculars to make sure nothing strange is happening in your room. He’s just keeping you safe, what if someone comes around and tries to steal you?! Don’t worry, your boyfriend is here for you, he’ll protect you. Your boyfriend…god just the idea of being your boyfriend makes him hard all over again.

Yan!GoldenBoy Who doesn’t care if he has to beat the shit out of some people. Your classmate was found with a ripped open chest and a missing heart? That’s terrible babe, but he can be your lab partner now! That one annoying bitch in your class had a bullet between her eyes and her heart missing just like your classmate? How tragic! Don’t worry, you’re safe with him.

Yan!GoldenBoy Who delivers special presents to your door every time a little rat decides to try and ruin his plans. Maybe if he gifts you the hearts from his victims, you’ll let him into yours <3

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Likes, reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated, requests are open <3

please do not copy, repost or translate any of my works on other platforms without my permission.

[matryosika]

Mark; Power Dynamic and Other Analysis

Wordcount: 1,065 words Includes: Silly little headcanons Genre: Smut, 18+ Author’s note: This is purely based on my imagination and the vibes I get from him. You may or may not agree with me, and that’s completely okay —this is only me free associating for a thousand words straight. Please enjoy whatever this is, and don't hesitate to share your thoughts with me! Credits: MDNI banner by @/cafekitsune !

First things first, I sense that Mark loves to be in control. 

With that being said, I honestly don't picture him as a hard dominant. He might not even care about roles, anyway, but he is naturally leaning towards the dominant side. 

He is really playful with the role, though. Mark is such a tease, and really creates an environment in which you can feel comfortable. He takes it upon himself to reassure you in every step of the fucking way —if he feels like you’re shying away from him, he would do anything just to bring you back to him.

For instance, I feel like one of his priorities in bed is to make sure you feel comfortable exposing yourself to him. I can really see him being into body worshiping and might even kneel in front of you and kiss your body from head to toe, whispering sweet nothings while asking all the right questions: "do you like it when I kiss you like this?, "does it feel good?", "do you want me touch you here?", and so on.

Despite the natural dominance I see in him, I do feel like he can get needier and more desperate than you, and he is not really ashamed of expressing it. This man is whiny, might even beg you to let him please you. And it's good that he is very talkative, because I just know his voice gets deeper and raspier in sexual contexts. At the same time, he is not really that loud; it's all whispers and murmurs, half of his words are muffled because he just has to have his lips attached to your skin and flesh. 

But when I say he is talkative, I mean it. The type to curse under his breath, and even start rambling about how much he loves you and how good you're making him feel. At one point he stops making any sense, because he is no longer thinking with his head but his dick. 

Mark might seem shy and collected at first, but I feel like the most he progresses into a sexual encounter, the less timid and more primal he becomes. 

But even then, I don't picture him as someone who might enjoy degrading or humiliating you, and certain practices like impact play might be a big no for him. I feel like he could try if you asked him to, but I don't think he would enjoy it just for the sake of slapping or spanking you. If he does enjoy it, it's probably out of ego —the fact that you're trusting him enough to ask him such things, and that you're enjoying them.

But, willingly, I don't think Mark would ever inflict pain on you like that.

Overstimulation and denial, however, are a whole other topic for him. He doesn't mind hurting you a little if he knows you can take it, and that it can become pleasure in exchange for a little pain —the way he proves your loyalty is through how good you're at following his orders and how willing you're to leave your pleasure aside, or endure a little pain, just because he asked you to. 

Mark is a hopeless romantic, and that translates into sex as a somewhat possessive partner. He is only yours, as long as you prove to him that you're only his. He is going to love you passionately if only you can do the same for him; he never hesitates when it comes to you, and he expects you to be the same when it comes to him. 

Because of this passion and intensity, I think he is very much the jealous type. Get jealous easily, and might act a little bit impulsive on it. Also, he isn't afraid of bringing said topics with you —if something bothers him, he will tell you without beating around the bush. It may conflict him, and he might get shy when talking to you about whatever it was that upsetted him, but he never keeps such things for himself.

That's kind of relevant because I think the possessive, jealous part of him really makes an appearance in bed —he wants to hear you say how you belong to him, and him only; how your body it's only his to touch and kiss, how you don't want anyone else but him.

Mark wants everything there is of you —your mind, heart and body. 

And that's why sex is always so intense; not necessarily rough, but emotionally I feel like he brings a shit ton of vulnerability and he needs you to do the same. Sex with him it's always so fucking intimate, and it can get really filthy because trust is one of the most important things for him —he doesn't care about the mess, as long as it is your mess (with this I mean like certain fluids or things one might find disgusting, but to him they really aren’t). 

He might be an experimentalist; he is willing to try everything at least once before deciding if he is into it or not. He’s also pretty good at communicating and putting his thoughts and emotions into words, so that gives me the impression that he is really in touch with himself and his preferences. 

So, going back to the power dynamic bit, I don't see Mark willingly and fully submitting to you. Although I said he might not even care about those sorts of roles, I feel like he is the most comfortable with being in charge of your pleasure and his. For some it might be a burden, but not for him —he leans towards dominance naturally, not to assert it but because he likes it.

Mark is always gentle, but in the midst of things I really believe he can manhandle you unintentionally. He might squeeze your hands a bit too harshly, or grip your hips a bit too rough; not to hurt you, but because he loses his mind in between. He gets so drunk on you and your body, that he just forgets the whole world surrounding him but you.

To wrap things up, I must say he is a fucking great kisser. I do see him as someone who kisses sloppily, but in a "I definitely know what I'm doing" kind of way. He bites, and uses tongue, and just makes sure to kiss you deeply until your mouth is full of him. Mark either places his hands on each side of your face or takes you by your waist to press his body against yours.

[mitskicain]

navi | m.list

. ⁺ . ✦ the doghouse — ken sato x reader

© mitskicain all rights reserved. the modification, translation, and plagiarism of my work is strictly prohibited.

synopsis: all good things must come to an end

content warning: angst, hurt/some comfort (?)

word count: 1.8k

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epilogue: in the doghouse

There is a saying that the universe gives and takes. That, it writes people into your lives—your paths crossing—and you will start to see them everywhere. The things that they mention will appear in front of you, their body standing out from a crowd, their voice singular in a wave of shouting. But when it is time for the two of you to separate, the universe will write them out completely. Despite living in the same city, you will never see them picking out oranges and apples in the grocery store, never see them in their favorite restaurant, never have them pull up next to you during a red light. They say that when it’s really over, you will never see them again, no matter how intertwined the two of you were before.

Ever since that last argument in your place, you and Ken had only crossed paths another couple handful of times.

There was once in the convenience store near the stadium late at night—you grabbing some cup noodles, him with his energy drink. You saw him from the corner of your eye, hair doused in sweat and matted down from the helmet, his gloved hands reaching for the chiller. He might not have seen you. You were in your hoodie, hunched down, devouring your late night meal. There was something about writing fervors that always made you so hungry. You resisted the urge to ask him where he had gotten the butter chicken he brought over the first time he came around; resisted the urge to ask him anything really—because it wouldn’t be for the sake of curiosity, or your cravings—just the chance to talk to him again, but you were too proud to ever want to admit it first. So you let him slip by, gaze lingering on his back as he disappeared down the road to continue practice. When you walked home, you could still hear the distant roars of wooden bat meeting baseball, and the echo of its fwoosh across the stadium.

It was hard avoiding Ken. His physical self was limited to mainly the stadium and the streets to and from his house. The bars on the road across from the venue would be hotspots after practices, so much so that you changed your schedule to only cover nights when he wasn’t on practice. But that was the easy part. In the daylight, he was omnipresent—advertisements and banners and posters of him decorated nearly every inch of the city. Whenever the Giants won a game, there would be the valiant cheer of the crowd, and his face plastered on newspapers. When his birthday rolled around, they decorated the subway to the stadium that you took to work with him. It was a pain. You had to keep your gaze down or your eyes shut just to avoid looking at him. One time, you thought that you had bumped into him on the subway but then realized it was just a mural of him—height accurate and all.

The ample time had you working on your writing: shitty poetry drafts turning into something worth reading. The first time you had gone to a bar that allowed you to showcase your work, you felt your heart thunder against your ribs, an unswallowable lump formed in your throat, and though you stuttered through the first few lines you were met with smiles and applause when you finished. And you did it again, and again, and again—until you no longer stuttered and the applause turned thunderous—until the manager of the bar asked you to come in regularly, offering you a platform and all. You didn’t think you could have actually made it, the whirlwind of fame sucking you in, allowing you little time to focus on anything that wasn’t your craft. Soon enough, you were able to quit your job altogether and focus on writing full-time.

You didn’t expect it: after months passing and nothing from the other, for him to be merely 50 meters away from you, in the next conference room. You could recognize his voice anywhere—recognized the sound of his laugh from all the clamor of the reporters. You looked straight ahead as you tried your best to answer the questions from the critics and some of your readers, trying to drown out the noise booming from just across the hall. So close and yet so far. When the event concluded you rushed outside, hoping to catch a glimpse, only to find that he had been dismissed just five minutes before you. Emotions bubbled up in you—disappointment, rage, shame—leading to you eventually publishing a short novel that included graphic details of your relationship together. The release took Japan by storm; tabloids and headlines both banging on your doors for a statement.

The last time you saw Ken was in court.

A private settlement between the two of you. A gag order, your lawyer had said—you fought back the urge to laugh. Isn’t that what I used to put in his mouth? You joked, he didn’t find it funny.

While your lawyers discussed, you passed lingering stares at each other from across the room. You had never seen Ken so dressed up before: white button up, trousers, and dress shoes. His hair was gelled back, so different from how it usually looked—messy from having your hands in them. He fiddled with his cufflinks, keeping his gaze low, but there were moments, brief moments, where he looked at you and it felt as if nothing had changed. As if the two of you were back at your place, splayed out on the couch, lying opposite from each other, stealing glances as the movie rolled on. A place in your chest hurt at the memory, so you stepped outside and made a beeline for the vending machine, trying to find something to sink your teeth into to distract you from the hurt.

“I guess the truth was bound to come up one way or another,” his voice rang. You turned around, Ken trailing behind you. “Cat’s out the bag.”

You pressed your lips into a thin line, shrugging.

“I guess so.”

Silence between the two of you. It had been too long since either of you said a word to each other.

“Now what?” He asks, voice soft but expectant. Something inside of you squeezes. You trail your fingertips on the surface of the soda can, feeling the moisture collect onto your skin.

“Now I stop writing fanfiction of you,” you say, a teasing smile playing on your lips. He returns the expression, amused. “We move on, I guess.”

“Oh,” he sounds, a hint of disappointment. His fists hung idly by his sides. The urge to reach out to him and hold his hand and tell him that the two of you could start over was great, but you knew better than to do anything of the sort. So you just stood there, taking all of it in—the tension, the awkwardness.

“Was this how you imagined it?” You asked, trying to sound cold but your voice cracks with emotion the moment you see him turn to meet your gaze. “When you lead me on, did you think it would come to this?”

He looks down in shame, lips curling downwards. You want to reach out to touch him but you stay in place, feet glued to the ground. Your free hand is squeezed into a fist, white knuckled and all.

“I always knew you were going to make it,” he says, smiling softly, “but no, I didn’t think of-” he gestures to the room, “this.”

Fair enough, you thought.

Another painful bout of silence.

“I didn’t want to hurt you, you know,” he confesses, your jaw ticks at the mention of this. “I didn’t mean for things to end the way they did.”

You nod your head in acknowledgement.

“It doesn’t matter anyway,” you say. “You tried to keep me from it but I figured you out—maybe try harder next time.”

The two of you know there won’t be a next time.

After this, it’s over. You won’t see him again. Ever. Still, the two of you laugh—maybe as an attempt to soothe the sting of loss—you hear his laugh and you are struck for the millionth time by just how beautiful it is.

Have you ever felt it? The moment before the feeling catches the memory? For a second, your mind pulls you to the surface and, like a snapped rubber band—whiplash. The echo of his laugh brings that all too familiar ache that rippled through you like waves, something that you know will haunt you for the next few years as you tried to erase whatever memory of him you had left. But before the pain was that haven of neutrality, the millisecond of peace where, instead of feeling the pang of loss, you felt nothing—and before nothing, the slightest memory of happiness.

For a moment, before the goodbye, the sound of his laugh transported you back to a time where all the two of you looked forward to was the sight of each other. You laughed over scenes together, discussing movie theories and playing make believe. You dreamed of a future where things had been better, nicer, where the world had been gentler with the two of you—a future where the two of you had been allowed to stay together, for a little bit longer at least. You were reminded of the time, cuddled up in bed, you heard him slip a little confession of an ‘I love you’ in the midst of his exhausted haze. Did he mean it? You wouldn’t know. And he hadn’t known it then but you said those words back, kissing the top of his forehead affectionately before joining him in sleep.

After this the two of you will never meet again.

The mention of the other during an interview will be quickly brushed off, only answered with a tight smile and a shake of the head. You will move back to the countryside in pursuit of a more peaceful environment for you to write your days away in, Ken will stay in the city and win game after game. The tabloids will cease the stories of you, and the news that the both of you had once been a thing will fizzle out—the public will forget of the fervor and the two of you gone back to strangers that will never cross paths again.

But sometimes, sometimes, you would wake up from such vivid dreams that you are drenched in tears and sweat, your cheeks flushed against the cool summer air. In your dreams you are back in your tiny apartment, chasing after Lassie and Strauber, singing in the shower while Ken brushes his teeth—a life so domestic and sweet that if a stranger were to peer in they would have said that the two of you were a happily married couple. Of course, this was before the world knew, before disaster struck—back when you lied your head against his chest and neither of you had ever said a word about leaving.

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author’s note: ITS THE END OF THE DOGHOUSE AAAAA💥💥💥 I’ll be honest this one was hard to go through (as evident by my burnout 💀💀) because it reminded me too much of my past (failed) relationship(s) 😭😭😭 but as always we thank our exes and we move on and write successful story about them for hundreds to enjoy 🥰🥰🥰 thank you everyone who has been so sweet and so supportive throughout it all 🫵‼️ I never would have imagined that so many of you guys would actually like this weird story I wrote 😭😭😭 and as mentioned previously the doghouse will be my last kenji fic and I will be moving on to writing for other fandoms :”))) it’s been an honor and I am so happy that you guys enjoy what I put out there, I hope to continue being able to put out things you guys enjoy 🙏🙏 until then—thank you as always and—MITSKICAIN OUT‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🫳🎤 💥💥

taglist: @luneariaa @moonjellyfishie @sweetcheeksbby-deactivated20240 @shittingonyourgrave @shauu @witcwitchy @fcklxnaa @despacito-uwu16 @mqshido @miffysoo @ybbayk @hore4ken @mochminnie @femmefqtqle @miratastic @lovingyeet @mythicalmo @yourfellowmarzipan @softdumplingposts @strayy-kidz @floppy-aura-koi

[the-froschamethyst4]

Body Worship

➤ Day 11

𖤐Pairing: Husband! König x Wife! F! Reader

𖤐Pronouns: She/Her

𖤐Warnings: Smut, NSFW, strong language, P in V, married couple, biting, boob grabbing, touching, dirty talking, eating out, mentions of pregnancy, badly translated German,

𖤐Summary: Y/n just had her first baby girl, and she has started to hate her stomach, it hasn't gone back to being flat and she has been scared that König may leave her because she wasn't skinny like she used to be and is worried her stomach may stop them from being active in the bedroom.

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Y/n stood in the mirror after her shower, she was in a matching bra and panty set looking at her stomach and pinching at the fat on her stomach. She grumbled at it and grabbed an oversized t-shirt and some sweatpants; she didn't want König to see her.

Their baby daughter, Heidi was asleep in the middle of the big King-sized bed. König was at work and would be home in a little bit. Y/n got back on the bed next to her sleeping daughter, she looked down at her and smiled.

She's glad that she could have her daughter being born and that the born went smoothly for her and Heidi. She was also worried about her and her husband's personal actives. Heidi was born 2 months ago, and she was worried König might have stopped liking her after the birth.

König walked through the door of his house and immediately walked up the stairs knowing his wife and daughter were upstairs on the bed. He smiled and removed his mask so he wouldn't scare his daughter. He smiled once again and kissed his daughter's forehead.

She shifted in her sleep and König gently picked her up and took her to her nursery and laid her down, he tried to make sure his tactical gear wasn't too loud and wouldn't also hurt her either.

He goes back into his shared bedroom and saw his wife Y/n now awake.

"Hey, mamas," he coos as he started striping from his gear.

"Did you just get home?"

"Yep. Why are you in sweatpants? You usually sleep in shorts, you get too hot in sweatpants," König knows his wife all too well.

"I was cold," she lied. Y/n thought her thighs were too thick and jiggled too much when she walked.

"Okay," he said, grabbing clean boxers and getting under the covers.

"King?"

"Hm?" He looks up at her.

"Do...Do you...still like me?"

"What?" He chuckles. "What type of fucking answer is that? Why would you say that?"

"...Because I've gained weight..."

"Weight? You think...a little bit of baby weight will scare me? Liebling (sweetheart) if weight was going to scare me off...then I would have left when you were pregnant with Heidi...I would NEVER leave you just because of some baby weight...liebling if anything...you look so fucking sexy with baby weight on," König crawled to Y/n.

Her back hit the mattress of the bed with König just above her.

"K-King." His hands went to her face and dropped to her chest gently squeezing her waist. She lets out a soft moan. His hands then went up her shirt grabbing her stomach, he then lifts it up over her head.

"Goddamn, liebe (love) you are so sexy," he bites his lip and kissed her neck and down between the valley of her breasts. His hands went around her back and unhooked her bra tossing it away.

"Don't ever think that I don't want you, liebe. I will always want you, you are someone I want in my life, for fucks sake you gave birth to my tochter (daughter)." He said, kissing her left boob and groping her right one. She moans as she looked down at him sucking on her chest and leaving purple hickies on her.

"K-King," he smirks and kept kissing her chest. His hands then went down to her sweatpants pulling them off completely and tossed them somewhere in the bedroom and her panties were tossed away too, leaving her completely naked underneath him.

"Heilige Scheiße (holy fuck)." He mumbles.

"What?" She sounded nervous.

"You are so fucking gorgeous," he attacks her lower half licking between her wet folds and earning a soft moan from her lips. She covered her mouth thinking she was going to wake up Heidi.

"Moan for me, liebe (love), I want to hear you moan."

"B-But I don't w-want to wake up, H-Heidi." She stutters.

"Even she does I'll go get her," he said, licking her folds again. She grabbed a handful of his hair.

"Don't...Don't stop, K-King," she moans.

"Das hatte ich nicht gelpant (I wasn't planning on it)," he said with a smirk on his face and kissed her inner thighs and bit the fat of her thighs. She moans and her back arched, he smirked at her and licked between her folds.

He started to remove his boxers showing his thick cock and pushing it inside of her lower half. She moans and looks down at her stomach seeing his dick bulging in her stomach.

"AH!" She moans and throws her head back.

"Aww~ kleine mamas (little mamas)," his hand went down her stomach and felt his dick inside of her. "Jesus, liebe (love) you look so cute with my cock inside of you, holy shit," he threw his head back and looked back down at her.

"I'm not hurting you, am I kleine mamas?" She shook her head. König grabbed her chin making her look at his eyes. "Worte, kleine mamas (Words little mamas)."

"Nein (no)."

"God," he threw his head back again and started to thrust even harder and faster inside of her. "You are even more sexy when you speak Deutsch (German)," he groans.

"Ah! AH! AHHH!" She moans.

"God, you are such a goddess, sexy body, you carried...a baby inside of you for...9 months...you take my cock like a whore, my whore, and you feel so fucking good," he moans.

Her hands went to his stomach touching his abs and moaning when she felt herself about to cum. She threw her head back and looked back at König's face. Sweat dripped from his brow and within one more thrust, she ended up coming on his dick.

"Ahhh~ liebe (love)," he moans. His forehead rested on hers and he watched her twitch when she felt a rush of König's cum leak right into her.

He moved himself out of her and watched the cum leak from her clit. He smirks and licks his lips before licking between her folds, she moans and gripped a handful of his hair.

"Now...let's get you cleaned up, liebe."He coos as he picks her up.

--------

Heidi was yelling for her parents to come and get her from her crib, she didn't care who as long as she was being held by one of them. Y/n came into her daughter nursery and picked her up, Y/n made some calming 'shushing' sounds trying to get her to quiet down.

König came into the nursery and saw his wife humming a soft tune and his little girl's eyes just softly about to close. He smiled to himself seeing his little girl asleep, Y/n was about to lay Heidi back in her crib, but König stopped her.

"Come on, let's bring her to our bed," he said.

"Okay," she whispered and walked past König and headed back to her shared bedroom. She laid on her side and gently laid Heidi between her and her husband.

König smiled at his two girls, he moved Y/n's hair from her face, she was looking down at her baby girl. He looked down at Heidi too and placed his head on his pillow.

Y/n moved the blanket over her body, Heidi's tiny body and König's body. She placed her hand on Heidi's tummy and closed her eyes drifting off to sleep.

[paused-waterfall]

Little Details of Feather Preening

I love reading fics in which a character with feathers gets help preening them from another character. I think part of it is because it explores the alienness of the winged/feathered character in a grounded, tactile way, while also exploring the dynamic between two characters. It's worldbuilding and character development all rolled into one! But another huge reason why I like it is just cause my parakeet sometimes lets me help with her feathers, and it's the best experience ever omfg.

I figured, for the sake of fic writers who don't have access to the cutest most patient bird in the world (and for me, who feels like rambling) I'd vomit out a ton of little details of what it's like to help a bird preen, and how it might translate to characters with both human and bird features:

(Note, this isn't exactly researched. My sample size is literally one bird and some casual reading about other species (sounds like crow feathers work similarly to parakeets, for instance: https://urbannature.blog/2022/09/23/the-unbearable-itchiness-of-moulting/). Please take this as an account of what preening a bird is like, and not as advice for things to do to a real bird.)

The exact term for preening something other than oneself is "allopreening". It's a social behavior and not all species do it. But if you're writing about a bird-human hybrid, ehhh humans have grooming instincts to add to the mix, so IMO the species of bird shouldn't hold you back!

Allopreening is most needed on areas the bird can't access themself. Wings and tails are mostly accessible-- the long feathers can be gently bent into reach. The back of the head/neck is the most prime location for allopreening. A humanoid trying to preen on their own would probably try to use a mirror to see what they're doing, and seriously tire out their arms reaching back there to do such finicky work.

Birds are pretty good at spinning their heads to see and work on anything below their necks, but an avian-ish character without that range of motion might need more help on the base of their wings, shoulders, and back.

My bird gets pissed when I so much as touch any feathers that are critical to flight (the longest wing and tail feathers). Care for those feathers is super important, and trusting someone else with that task would be a huge deal!

To request a preening, my bird angles her head at me, shakes it, and gently poofs up her feathers. If it's going well, she'll stay poofed up and maybe close her eyes.

A completed preening session always ends with feathers being shaken out.

Molting!

Often, the first sign of an impending molt is a fluffy down feather floating in the air. These feathers will cling to anything they touch.

The start of molting involves a lot of old feathers falling out, and some chill allopreening can be involved in this. Just lightly ruffling their feathers can help dislodge ones that are ready to go.

After getting rid of the old feathers, pin feathers start to grow in. They start out covered in a waxy sheath and with a blood supply running through them. While the blood supply is there, these are also called blood feathers, and damaging them can cause a lot of bleeding.

Pin/blood feathers are very sensitive. A wrong move can cause them to poke into the skin. Add this to the general vulnerability of not being at peak flight ability and the body's exhaustion at having to produce the feathers, and you've got an irritable and skittish bird. This is all a whole lot like a feathery version of a period.

Allopreening pin feathers is a lot more delicate than helping dislodge old ones. There's a careful art involved in telling which ones are ready to have their sheaths removed. Learning this art as a non-feather-haver involved, for me, a lot of sudden nipping from an unsatisfied customer. These days, I can tell I'm working on the wrong feather if my bird tenses up or glares at me.

Removing the sheath from a feather is SO SATISFYING. You take a dull-colored, irritating pin, and gently unwrap it to reveal a soft, beautiful new feather. Any time I see my bird all disheveled by pin feathers, it takes serious willpower to resist pestering her to let me fix them.

Non-molt preening!

Fully grown feathers also need daily upkeep

Birds secrete oils that they spread over their feathers with their beaks. A bird-person or their allopreening partner might choose to work other oils into the feathers, similar to how we use skincare products.

Feathers lost outside of the molting cycle can start regrowing immediately. However, a partially damaged feather will not regrow until it is removed or falls out during a molt.

Clipped wings are essentially damaged feathers-- an intelligent bird-person might be inclined to rip these out so that new, full feathers will be faster to grow... but, that would mean going without the partial feathers, and the gliding/slight lift they allow. That's a pretty big risk!

Hope someone gets some use out of this :) Happy bird-fic'ing!

[horsefigureoftheday]

can we hear more about your horse ghost experiences?

Sure thing!

White horses are a common type of ghost around here. They’re often headless, but not necessarily. They may breathe fire or leave a trail of fire, or they might not. In most records the white horses are just said to show up at a given place, with no speculations on their origins. When people do talk about their origins, the typical explanation is that they’re manifestations of dead people or terrible past events. Here are a few stories collected by Evald Tang Kristensen throughout the late 1800s:

My first encounter was when I was about 12, out in the woods with the pony riding school. It was a forest with a lot of memorials, including a memorial stone for a Danish poet, an arboretum to honor a teacher, and a historical hunting lodge that was burned down by a pyromaniac a few years prior. And yet the forest was only really used by our riding school, a few dog walkers, and a nearby primary school. Desolate enough for wildlife to thrive, yet frequented enough that the woods could never grow completely wild. Strange things seem to happen - or at least be observed by people - in those kinds of places.

As our train of ponies reached a hilltop and looked down, we all saw a white horse running between the trees, with neither tack nor rider. We all commented on it, but for some reason none of us even considered trying to track it down and make sure it was okay. It was like we all just instinctively knew the horse would be gone by the time we’d made our way back down the hill.

Second time I saw it was from a train window, back in March. While passing through the woods, I looked out and just saw a pure White Horse with its back to the tracks. No fences around. No tack. I saw it for all of 3 seconds but the rounded rump, long tail, and hocks were unmistakable. I know damn well how to tell a deer ass apart from a horse ass, and that was a pure white horse all alone in the middle of the dark woods. I've ridden that trainline countless times, and every time we pass that spot I look for horses. But I haven't seen any before or since.

Aside from human(oid) ghosts, white horse ghosts are by far the most common ghosts in Danish folklore. I don't personally believe they're typical ghosts (as in manifestations of death), I'm more inclined to believe they're vættir. But I call them ghosts for simplicity's sake, because that's what all the books call them.

I have a lot of pseudo-philosophical ideas about the supernatural and how it thrives at the border of imagination and reason. You need to open yourself up to the possibility of the supernatural, accept all logical and illogical explanations equally, and choose to make the illogical explanations a part of your umwelt, before you can experience these things. Empiricism and supernatural experiences can't coexist, and I value keeping my ancestral folklore alive more than I do the rational explanation that maybe a horse got loose in the woods.

I love how the Monster Talk podcast explains it in episode 253 (Yeti Stories You've Never Heard Before) - sorry it's compressed to hell but I didn't know how else to fit a 12 minute clip into a tumblr post:

Edit: I also love Mikkel Starup's explanation from his book "Elverkongen Freyr" (translation in alt)

[kanasmusings]

[Eng Subs DL] Musical Yuukoku no Moriarty (Moriarty the Patriot) Op. 4 - "The Two Criminals"

Hello, and Merry Christmas to those who celebrate~! Otherwise, Happy Holidays! I am here to share the English subtitles for more MoriMyu~!

Oh gosh, I apologize for such a long wait...! Life just punched me around a bit with studying for board exams (which I passed, thankfully!), a bit of technical problems with the BD version, and a lot of real life things I needed to take care of before the year ends (￣▽￣*)ゞ

Op. 4 covers chapters 33-47 of the original comic, with a few scenes/moments omitted. It is essentially the build-up to the climax of the story that was covered in Op. 5! We were also blessed with the addition of Miss Mary Morstan and Adam Whiteley for this musical, and I hope everyone falls in love with them, too~!

Anyway, here are the subs~! A huge, huge thank you to @mouldering for helping me with proof-reading and quality checking! I wouldn't have been able to finish this before Christmas without your help~! ♡ ～('▽^人) I will be updating the folders with the bonus content subtitles when I am able to as well, but for now, please enjoy the main show's subs~!

Links, notes, and disclaimers under the cut, enjoy~!

BD PURCHASE LINK (International cards and shipping accepted!): CDJapan - BD ver. | DVD ver. Official Sites: Twitter | Website (MoriMyu General) | Website (Op. 4) MoriMyu Op. 1 Subtitles | MoriMyu Op. 2 Subtitles | MoriMyu Op. 3 Subtitles

NOTES:

※ THE FILE IS SUBTITLES ONLY, VIDEO IS NOT INCLUDED! ※ The folder contains subs for a DVD version as well as a Blu-ray version! (I tested the DVD version on the BD a lot of times, and there was always a slight delay with the syncing, so I re-timed and re-styled it for the BD. You could technically load the DVD subs onto the BD, but you'd have to manually adjust the timing on your media player.)

All songs and lyrics were translated by me. A bit of creative liberty was exercised to fit context and some cultural references. As usual, the lyrics actually help move the plot, so I didn’t include the romaji for any of them. But, if you’d like to have the complete lyrics, I do have them saved up in PDF form, so feel free to DM me for them if you want ^^

Again, I’m not a native British English speaker, so some terms might be off. I consulted with a friend to help me check them, just in case, but please forgive any mistakes.

As usual, some scenes in the musical differ from the anime/manga for time and fluidity’s sake, so please don’t hit me for things that I can’t control ^^;

There aren’t particularly any triggering scenes here, but please do watch with caution since some subjects and terms used might be sensitive and/or triggering for other viewers.

@kumoriyami-xiuzhen​ requested me to do the bonus content subs, so I will be reblogging and updating the main post when they are up as well! ^^

RULES:

[MOST IMPORTANT] Please DO NOT re-post the subs and the link outside of Tumblr! If you want to share outside, please, please DM me about it and link my blog to your post. That’s all I ask.

Please DO NOT remove my credits.

Please DO NOT re-translate without permission.

SUBS DL LINK: GOOGLE DRIVE 

※ Please only DM me if there is a problem with the subtitles. I cannot help you if it’s related to the videos. ※ If you enjoyed my work, please consider buying me a coffee here, if you can. It’ll really help me out a lot.(o^▽^o) Thank you!!

[shatcey]

I've become an animal (Ellis)

Ellis Elbert

I'm not a native speaker of either English or Japanese. So there may most likely be errors in my translations. I use autotranslation and rewrite the text to a readable state. Some phrases are not clear to begin with, and I use my gut feeling and some experience of reading such poorly translated texts that have taught me to see meaning in them. My summaries are always full of my comments and jokes. If you prefer a clean translation, then you definitely won't like it.

Hmmm… Not bad. I have to put that on my main page.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Where were many onomatopoeic sounds that varied greatly in shape and duration depending on what Kate was "saying", I will stick to the original as much as possible. I haven't used it here often, but I'm warning you just in case.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kate woke up and realized that something was wrong. She looked in the mirror, slowly processing what she saw.

She remembered how the day before they went on a date with Ellis and she saw a black cat.

Ellis immediately asked if she interested, and she replied that she wanted to pet her and was worried if she was hungry.

Don't worry, girl, Alfons feeds them… She's fine.

So… back to the present.

She finally accepts the fact that she is a kitten and runs to Ellis. But she stopped worriedly in front of his door not knowing what to do.

Suddenly the door opens and Ellis kicks the poor kid. Ouch! He immediately apologizes and notices that she seems to be in pain.

I do not think so… But I have no choice but to agree when you smile like that…

Roger examined her and found only a bruise, but put a bandage on just in case… And recommended complete rest. As Ellis likes, she is completely under his care. But suddenly Roger heard something...

NO! Don't leave me with him...

Thank you, thank you, thank you... I'll kiss you later.

Jude is clearly not happy with this addition to their team.

Initially, it was an even more colorful description, but I didn't figure out how to make it sound normal. So I shortened it to this.

I can almost hear him saying: "What is… THAT?" pointing an accusing finger at the cat. Hah…

Jude listens to Ellis's explanation and gives them time to eat. So Ellis feeds the cat milk, puts it in his pocket, and they all go to work. I wonder which pocket? I only see them on his pants… no… I don't wanna think about it… Damn it! I cannot stop thinking about it!

This was another person who decided that he might NOT return the money to Jude in time. Why are they so stupid? They know about his reputation, but they keep doing it…

As usual, Ellis and Jude are playing good and bad cops. But… suddenly, the nobleman noticed the kitten and was very scared. He's allergic. So in order to save his life (or pride), he immediately returns the money.

Outside, Jude is thinking out loud, looking at the cat.

I'm sure he figured out… He's too smart not to notice…

And after that, he gives Ellis the day off, and they return to the castle. Ellis went all over the rooms and couldn't find Kate anywhere. He became restless, so Kate, in the form of a cat, tried to calm him down by asking him to pet her. Ellis remarks that she behaves exactly like Kate.

Premium ending

Somewhere on the way home, Ellis bought everything he needed to take care of the cat. And decided to comb her fur, of course, for Kate's sake.

They're both having a great time. But Kate suddenly thinks about what would happen to Ellis if "she" continued to be missing, and somehow… she kisses him…

Ellis is in complete shock

He recovered from the shock and gave her his jacket. He remembered all the awkward details of what she had been doing all day… And suddenly Roger knocked on the door, saving her.

But Ellis wouldn't let him. When Kate asked him why. He said he didn't want Roger examined her entire body… So the fact that she turns into a cat and back should remain a secret between them.

And after that, Ellis starts checking if Kate is human by kissing her…

So...

I didn't buy the epilogue. I'm already a little burned out of Ellis (I'm so fickle). I'll probably buy Elbert's epilogue though. His event made a greater impression on me. NOT because of Alfons! Okay, partly because of Alfons. But the event is really interesting for a completely different reason.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

🔝 Start page 🔝

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[funbirdnest]

Blackbird (Translation)

I worked in the translation of the story for the past week and I have been unable to shut up about until now. This translation work was done in collaboration of @spectralpooch who worked as English proofreader and provided a lot of insight of the english grammar and composition. I was also helped by Yuko and Asher who helped with wording.

I hope you get to enjoy, even if just a little, the love we all put in this story that we have been waiting seven years for. 

Blackbird

The fantasy is burning.

—At the end of the day, love always prevails.

—Hard work and good intentions are always rewarded.

—As long as you wish for it with all your might, your dreams will always come true.

Such are the nonsensical, gibberish words that everyone recognizes as downright lies once they reach adulthood. And burning within a bonfire is the pile of papers—the representation of the very innocence of a young boy who earnestly believed in those lies.

The embers of dreams and hopes are stirred by the updraft caused by the hot air.

Ashes and soot soar up, miserably staining the clear skies.

“Aah, what a terrible shame.”

Hibiki Wataru looked up at the sky and, in sharp contrast to his words, trembled with pleasure.

He is a beautiful man.

Long, silver-white hair that resembles moonlight incarnate. A physique blessed with a perfect golden ratio.

He is wearing his elegantly designed uniform in quite an incomprehensible way.

His facial expressions and gestures are refined and effusively charming, and it feels as though wing scales and fluorescent lights should flutter around him with every step he takes.

But it is precisely because he is too beautiful that he can stand out in any town.

Every person who passes by throws him a strange look and either turns away or flees the scene as if having just encountered a monster. It is the most appropriate reaction when confronted with a monstrosity, but—

He wants them to at least scream.

To curse, spit, and throw stones at him.

It hurts the most to be ignored.

As if to convey this point, Wataru gestures towards them in invitation to do so—but the only one willing to approach him is a slightly dirtied pigeon.

"Aah, Gil! Poor you, Gilles de Rais¹! Your feathers are completely sullied!" 

Wataru laments while rubbing his cheek against the pigeon perched on his shoulder.

"When you are covered in soot like this, you look more like a crow than a pigeon! Crows are really smart, and they can become great ‘entertainers’ when trained, but people often hate them for no reason—it's troublesome, isn't it?"

At the sight of Wataru having a conversation with a pigeon as though it were completely normal, the people around him begin to back further away.

"... But right now, I have the feeling that such an individual would be the most suitable companion for me."

As Wataru mutters sadly to himself, the soot-covered pigeon pulls his hair with its beak.

“That hurts?! It was just a joke, Gil! Are you jealous? I've raised and looked after you since you were an egg, so there's no way I could ever discard you and look for another partner! Please cheer up—oya?”

As the pigeon goes all out on him, something falls down from the crevice of its beak. 

Cinders.

The wreckage of a dream that had been carried by the wind from afar.

“That's splendid! This will solve the problem of my ink running out!”

Wataru exclaims with pleasure and mashes the cinders with his fingertips.

Then, with fingers stained in black, he writes his name in the bundle of documents that he had been holding.

“—With this, it’s finished.”

Embracing the bundle of documents as though it were his most prized possession, Wataru trembles again.

“I wonder if he will be happy with this.”

***

There was a war.

A tragic conflict in which boys hurt and killed each other for the sake of their own dreams and ideals—for the sake of love.

Of course, although it has now become a gloomy and sorrowful memory, it was not actually a battle where people fought with guns and blades and bathed in each other's blood.

All of them were idols.

Standing on the stage, singing and dancing, their top priority was to bring people happiness.

However, at that time, their place of residence, Yumenosaki Private Academy, was not an environment in which idols could properly live as idols. Everything was decayed, stagnant and rotten.

There were those who stood up in order to change the situation at hand.

There were also those who tried to fight back in anger and sorrow after everything they held dear had been mangled in the name of the "revolution" the others had raised.

They turned the things that were supposed to make people happy into weapons, abused them, and imposed their own resentment and misery onto others.

As a result, this vast and boundless world was changed only slightly.

But the price that had been paid was extremely high.

—Yumenosaki 's era of conflict.

—The first revolution.

—The beginning of the end.

Regret consumes everyone whenever they remember the tragedy of that time.

***

A hospital room.

The brand new hospital in the vicinity of Yumenosaki Academy had been built with a sole purpose: to provide an immediate response on the occasion that a single person's physical condition changed for the worse.

Leading-edge medical equipment and top-notch doctors had been assembled in order to forcibly prolong his existence—sometimes even diverting attention from other, more urgent patients.

He is one of the world's most distinguished billionaires, the scion of the Tenshouin conglomerate, Tenshouin Eichi.

He is the leading actor in the conflict that unfolded in Yumenosaki.

He loved idols more than anyone else.

However, as a result of the kingcraft instilled in him from an early age by his private corporate tutor, the clear mind he has naturally possessed since birth, and his cold heart, he came to massacre the very thing he loved with his own hands.

The many sins he committed in this ironic twist of fate tormented him and made him sick.

“...”

Tenshouin Eichi is lying down on the floor of a very spacious hospital room.

He is also a beautiful man, but there is a crack distorting his beauty.

Seemingly because he hasn’t been eating, he has become emaciated, and his blond hair, which resembles sunlight incarnate², is disheveled and dull. His hospital clothes, composed of high-quality material, are completely wrinkled and dirtied.

Like a baby bird that fell from its nest.

He had ripped off the intravenous drips and other pieces of medical equipment designed to keep him alive and smashed them to pieces.

There were doctors who genuinely cared for Eichi's well-being and those whose interest in treating him stemmed only from professional duty—Eichi shunned them all equally with curses and threats.

—I don’t want to live anymore.

—So, please, don’t treat me.

—Someone like me doesn’t deserve to live.

“No.”

Eichi, withering and on the verge of death, hears a voice reply to the soliloquy he hadn't expected anyone to hear.

There is only a single small window in the room. No matter how hard one might try to contort their body, it would be impossible to enter through—regardless, it was from that very window that Hibiki Wataru's towering silhouette soundlessly entered. 

It is like a dream.

As if it were a magic trick, he suddenly materializes.

“—It's you. Hibiki Wataru of The Five Eccentrics.”

"That story has already concluded, so will you please stop referring to me that way?"

As he casually replies to Eichi, who had spoken as though in a trance, Wataru strides across the hospital room.

He steps over the countless broken pieces of wreckage scattered across the floor, but never breaks anything.

“Let's readjust our mindset! Now, while we still have the chance to bask in the success of our stage performances, let's sit back and recharge our batteries! That is our duty, Tenshouin Eichi-kun!"

“Just what the hell are you doing here?”

Eichi mutters reproachfully, glaring up at Wataru with cruel eyes.

“Did you come to mock me because I thought I was victorious but wound up losing everything?”

Presumably too prideful to continue behaving in an undignified manner, Eichi staggers to his feet and then takes a seat on the mattress.

Having refused even the cleaning staff, this dirty hospital bed is now his only throne.

“Or do you intend to seek vengeance on behalf of your fellow Five Eccentrics?”

“No, not at all? Although there were some underwhelming parts, you still persevered and accomplished great things atop the stage! You have my praises. I have no reason to make fun of you!”

Wataru continues, his tone cheerful. Scattered, multicolored petals surround a broken flower vase—he gathers them up, grasps them in one hand, and opens his palm to reveal a single perfect flower.

"Besides, my beloved friends, The Five Eccentrics, were not actually killed. They're not that fragile, so I ask that you do not disparage them."

Though his eyes flash with hostility for a single instant, Wataru hides it with the ease of putting on a mask.

“Shu is slowly recovering his strength in the comfort of his dolls and the mutual love they share. Kanata, too, is embarking on a new life together with the inexperienced hero who saved his heart. And, of course, Our Majesty, the Demon King, Rei, too—indeed, someone like him will never die, even if he's killed.”

As he mentions each of the remarkable members of The Five Eccentrics, Wataru smiles.

“And the youngest sibling whom we risked our lives to protect, Natsume-kun, doesn't have a single scar. He quickly found the bluebird you set free, and is venturing forth into his life—not as a member of The Five Eccentrics, but as a human and idol.”

"...They're so strong. Everyone, all of them, are strong and splendid human beings worthy of respect—unlike me. Hiyori-kun and Nagisa-kun, too. It appears that they’ve already begun to move on to their next stage."

Looking somewhat astonished, Eichi hangs his head like a confused lost child.

“Am I really the only one who can’t move? At the end of Yumenosaki's conflict, or the saga chronicling the subjugation of The Five Eccentrics, am I truly the only loser?”

“No, no. I feel the same way. It's embarrassing to admit, but—I don't know what I should do next.”

With a dumbfounded expression that mirrors Eichi's, Wataru fidgets with the flower with his black-stained fingers.

“I'm quite satisfied with how things concluded on that most wonderful stage, even though we had to settle for the second-best result—but I'm at a bit of a loss, as I have no further plans for the future.”

"I see. Would you like me to apologize? By casting you in the role of the villain, a symbol deserving of ridicule and disdain, I turned you into the target of everyone's malice."

“Yes. Thanks to you, no one trusts me enough to work with me, so all of my future plans are now uncertain. I suppose I could arrange a stage and enact a story of my own choosing, but… A one-man show would be a little lonely, wouldn't it?”

"I thought that you would always be happy to stand onstage no matter what—even alone."

“Regrettably, I'm an entertainer whose only purpose is to make others happy. If I were to stand onstage all by myself, I would lose all motivation.”

With a shrug of his shoulders, Wataru quietly offers Eichi the flower.

”And so, I thought I would ask you, the organizer of the most satisfying stage I have ever stood upon, for another commission. That's the reason I came today. Of course, I am also here to visit the sick."

“Was that sarcasm? I humiliated and denigrated you and your beloved friends. I trampled on and killed all of you for the sake of my own dream.”

“No one is dead, Eichi-kun. Everything that took place is just a story.”

”Are you really going to behave like a sore loser and pretend like you all weren't actually hurt?”

"No. If I were to hold a grudge and get angry at you, it would be an insult to my friends' extraordinary performance in their roles as villains. That's why I won't give you the pleasure of my vengeance.”

“I don’t understand your reasoning.”

“It’s a mystery to me too. This is the first time in my life that I have ever felt this alive. It's as though something I cannot quite comprehend is stirring inside me.”

Wataru speaks with an innocent, puzzled expression on his face, as though he were a child who had just tripped for the very first time in his life.

***

“Oops. I went off on a tangent just now, but I meant to give you this gift earlier.”

Suddenly coming to his senses, Wataru quietly hands Eichi the flower in his hand.

The instant that the flower touches Eichi's fingertips, it transforms into a bundle of documents.

It’s just like magic.

“... Oh, my goodness. As always, your magic tricks are beyond comparison, Hibiki-kun.”

“You and I are not particularly close, so don't blurt out things like that as if you know me.”

“I’ve always been watching you.”

Eichi speaks honestly, seemingly too tired to maintain a strong front. He proceeds to look over the bundle of papers.

His expression dawns with astonishment.

“This is—”

“Fufufu. This is the pipe dream³ written by our beloved younger brother and only son, Natsume-kun. He poured all of his heart and soul into it.”

Wataru explains, satisfied with the surprised expression on Eichi's face.

“This is a scenario envisioning a way in which we, The Five Eccentrics, could have achieved victory over you in our final battle the other day.”

“Oh, that's right, just before the decisive battle, you and the other Five Eccentrics had some kind of exchange. I was preoccupied with other matters at the time, so I didn't pay much attention to what all of you were up to.”

Deeply immersed in reading, Eichi flips through the stack of documents carefully. A grin slowly begins to form on his lips.

“Fufu. So cute; it’s really like a fantasy story. ‘I don't want my beloved Five Eccentrics to lose. I want us to have a happy ending where no one has to be sacrificed—’”

"Indeed. He filled the pages with such impossible fantasies and impractical delusions."

“... It was only by defeating you on that stage that we somehow managed to settle things in a conclusive way. If the five of you had won that day, we would still be enmeshed in the middle of an unending conflict.”

"Exactly. I anticipated as much, which is why I was unable to accept this. This present, packed with that child's—with Natsume-kun's—dreams, expectations, and love.”

“And, because we followed the premeditated arrangement, everything went smoothly.”

“That's true. But, just as one would expect from a story desperately written by our beloved child... It's very compelling, isn't it? It'd be heartless to ignore it altogether and just throw it away.”

Wataru gently caresses the pile of documents as if consoling a little baby.

“And that's why I quickly examined the contents, committed them to memory, and secretly copied them. Only moments ago, Natsume-kun burned the original copy himself, so—that child's fantasy should, by all accounts, have been completely erased from this earth.”

Wataru laughs like a naughty child who just successfully carried out a prank.

“Everyone will assume so. And even though this is an imitation, the contents are extremely close to the real thing. No, rather, the contents are only the things that I chose to resurrect in accordance with my own preferences.”

“Hmph. But there's no way you can actually use this, right? It's just a bunch of delusions with no grounding in reality. In other words: worthless garbage. It's nothing more than a work of fiction that fabricates convenient plots for foolish readers who yearn to avert their eyes from this harsh reality.”

Eichi drops the pile of documents onto the dirty bed and sneers at it.

“It has no bearing on the real world. Those kinds of stories only exist in the minds of idealistic writers. It's not the real thing. It's not reality.”

“Right. And so, I'd like to ask you, with your firm grasp on reality, to please rework it.”

“...?”

“You're hospitalized, so you have a lot of free time, correct?”

Wataru smiles, carefully gathering up the documents Eichi dropped one by one.

“Please use that spare time to improve upon this document. And adapt it into a new story in which The Five Eccentrics, your opponents, achieve victory.”

“What would be the point of doing such a thing?”

“You must be prepared for anything the future decides to throw your way, no matter how incredibly low the chances of it actually occurring may be. You know this better than anyone, but you were born with a fragile constitution, so—you could die at any time.”

“...You're right. And now that I've lost my will to live, I'm even refusing treatment.”

“And if you, the main character of this story, were to die and abruptly, nonsensically disappear from the narrative, the entire plot would collapse.”

“.....”

"Do you understand what I mean, Eichi-kun?"

“I understand, Hibiki-kun.”

Eichi's eyes, as cloudy as a corpse's, begin to sparkle.

“I have a responsibility. A responsibility as a protagonist—as an author. I have to be prepared for when my character dies and vanishes from this world—from the story.”

"Yes. However, you don't strike me as an expert storyteller, so I thought it'd be convenient to use something as a basis—for the story. This pipe dream written by Natsume-kun is quite suitable in terms of both content and quality, right?”

“That's right. It's the story that the child prodigy, the youngest member of The Five Eccentrics, wove out of his own life force.”

This time, Eichi doesn’t sneer sarcastically. As he praises his enemy, an honest smile appears on his face.

“Thank you, Hibiki-kun. Since this is a story founded on the premise of my imminent death, I can't let Keito, who hates the thought of me dying more than anyone else, write it.”

Eichi's eyes widen, surprised at the deep affection with which he spoke these words.

He'd assumed he'd lost everything. And yet—is he only now remembering that there are still things worth loving?

“I'll write it. To ensure the story will continue after I'm gone.”

Growing more and more energetic, Eichi stains his fingers with the filth splattered across his bed and begins to scrawl on the back of the stack of documents. His handwriting is so sluggish and messy that no one besides him could possibly read it.

“First of all, let's ensure that I get defeated while I'm still alive. After bringing down The Five Eccentrics and seizing control of everything, I become a power-crazed tyrant. And so, a new generation of heroes stands up to defeat me. It could be Natsume-kun, the surviving member of The Five Eccentrics, or someone else.”

“Yes ♪ And then? What will happen next in this story?”

“It's not enough to merely change the person in power. The masses themselves should mobilize and take action into their own hands to improve the world. Yes, the next step is the people's revolution. That's why... errr... aaahh—”

Eichi is so absorbed in the moment that he scatters the documents. He clutches his head with both hands.

“I can’t work through my thoughts! I'm not a genius, so this is really hard for me! Aah, this is pathetic, and I have no right to ask this of you, but—Can you help me come up with more ideas, Hibiki-kun?”

“Yes, with pleasure ♪ I also have some time to spare, after all!”

Wataru sits on the bed and happily gazes at Eichi, who has become entirely absorbed in the act of weaving⁴ the beginnings of a new story.

“I look forward to seeing what sort of stage I'll stand on next. Aah, in both my past and present, this has always been my only source of happiness.”

“I'm out of paper! I also want something to write with! Hibiki-kun, isn't there somewhere nearby where you could buy some?”

“Yes, yes. Aren't you supposed to be my fan? Are you sure you should be bossing me around like this?”

With a smile that seems to say, Well, it doesn't really matter, Wataru shifts like a bird about to take flight.

“Come on, let's celebrate, let's weave, let's create—a story! In this second iteration, the tragedy will become a comedy! Yes, I'm certain that this next work will be a very enjoyable story!”

“Enough, enough! Stop saying unnecessary things and just hurry up! Before life leaves my body!”

“Yes, yes. You really know how to put people to work, Mr. Author... ♪”

………

And so, Hibiki Wataru chose to assist Tenshouin Eichi in the creation of his story.

Together, they supported one another, engaged in heated debates, and envisioned the future.

It was at the end of that gloomy winter when the two of them, now fine, the rulers of Yumenosaki Academy, were defeated by the revolutionaries of Trickstar.

It was a season when the seeds carried by dirty, exhausted birds finally bloomed into flowers.

1. Gilles de Rais was a leader of the French army and participated in the Hundred Years’ War alongside Jeanne d’Arc as a companion of arms. Later in his life he went on to become a serial killer of children and was condemned to death and hanged. 

In the story “Cinderella on the Stake's Stage,” it’s revealed that Wataru also has a pigeon called “Jeanne d’Arc.”

2. Akira describes Eichi’s hair as “陽光を固めたような” = “As if sunlight has taken physical shape”. Likewise this is also the way he describes Wataru’s hair “月光を固めたような” = “As if moonlight has taken physical shape”.

3. We chose to interchange the words pipe dream and fantasy through the story but they often refer to the same script Natsume wrote.

4. Weaving reads as “Tsumugi” here.

[secretswiftymarvelfan]

Congrats on your 3.000 followers milestone sweets! 🩷👏

So, for your writing challenge I’d like to ask for:

Andy Barber + Grumpy x Sunshine + "I'm so glad you're here to point out my flaws. I would never have noticed them on my own."

Thank you! ☺️

Thank you so much! I absolutely love writing for Andy and thought I'd make this part of the Wildest Dreams Universe

The Other Side Of The Door - Andy Barber x Reader

Summary: Tensions boil over when Andy works late on a tough case

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: Angst! Happy Ending!

Masterlist / Celebration Masterlist

You knew Andy could be grumpy, you had seen it plenty of times. Mostly with Neil. But he had never been grumpy with you. He called you his sunshine and was never grumpy at you. 

Today was different though. You knew he was working on a tough case, one that caused him more stress than you thought was worth it. You really tried to help him through it, you were his assistant and girlfriend after all, it was your job. But today he crossed a line that had you wanting to throw in the towel. 

All day he’d been in a foul mood and you were doing your best to make today easier for him. You kept a nice happy smile plastered on your face even when it became difficult to do so because his bad mood was slowly seeping into you. 

He’d been short with you, his tone clipped and words sharp. Other times he just completely ignored you and you just had to tell yourself that it was because he was too engrossed in your work and it wasn’t personal. 

It was the end of the day and you were just hoping you’d be going home soon. Everyone else in the office had, it was just you and Andy left. It reminded you of all the times you’d stay later before you went public with your relationship, the sneaking around and sexy secret rendezvous in his office. But there would be no rendezvous in his office today, you’d be lucky if you were able to drag him away from his files. 

“Hey, I thought you might still be here,” a cop who was assigned to the case said as he walked into the office. 

You forced a smile “No rest for the wicked” you sighed. 

“I brought that piece of evidence he wanted, sorry it took so long” he apologised as he handed you the file. 

“You couldn’t have waited until the morning” you smirked as you took it. 

The cop chuckled “I’m sorry, I’ll know for next time, don’t stay too late” he winked before heading back out of the office. 

You let out another sigh as he left and wondered whether you should just leave this evidence in your drawer for tomorrow. You could try and convince Andy to head home now and maybe leave his bad mood in the office. You knew he wouldn’t be impressed if he found out though so you stood up from your desk and made your way into his office. 

“Here’s that evidence you asked for, the cop said he was sorry it took so long,” you said as you walked over to him “Maybe we can leave this for tomorrow since it’s late” you added when he barely looked up from his work.

“Maybe” he murmured as he took the file from you, without even looking at you. You knew from his tone though that his maybe was a no and you would be staying for at least another hour. 

“Okay well I’ll go pack up my things then” you said hoping it would push him to actually leave. 

“Fuck sake” he muttered as you walked back towards the door. 

“What’s wrong?” you asked pausing by the door. 

“This is the wrong evidence, I asked for exhibit 15B not 15C” he huffed as he slapped the file down onto his desk. 

“Oh, the cop must have grabbed the wrong one” you sighed, secretly glad since it meant that he would probably go home now “I’ll send an email now and hopefully they can get the right one to us by morning”

“Did you even tell him the right one?” Andy snapped making you baulk. 

“Excuse me?” you gaped. 

“When you called earlier did you say 15B or 15C?” Andy pressed his expression hard as stone. 

“15B! It must have been lost in translation or something” you argued. 

“Because I know the cops better than you and they wouldn’t make this kind of fuck up, not on a case as important as this!” Andy shouted as he stood from his desk. 

“Are you saying this is all my fault?” you exclaimed, a look of disbelief on your face.

“Yes!” Andy snapped “You’ve been distracted all day I bet you weren’t even listening to what I said when I told you want evidence I needed!”

You looked back at him shocked. He saw everything that you had done for him today as you being distracted. It hit you hard and it hurt. You wanted to scream at him but that voice in your head told you that it wouldn’t help. 

You needed to say something though, you couldn't not. So you let out a small scoff and shook your head “Well I'm so glad you're here to point out my flaws. I would never have noticed them on my own, I’ll try to do better boss” you stated forcing a smile that you both knew was fake. 

You waited for Andy to say something, apologise but he didn’t say a word. The fury in his eyes dimmed, a hint of regret replacing it but he still said nothing. 

“I’m going home,” you said quietly, turning on your heels and leaving his office, slamming the door shut behind you. 

You stuffed everything in your bag and shut off your computer, hoping and waiting the entire time for his office door to open and for him to walk out and apologise. But the door remained shut. You even waited a few moments once you were ready to leave, biting your lower lip to stop it from trembling. 

It never opened. So you left. 

By the time you got home to the apartment you shared with Andy your anger had been replaced with sadness and rain had started to pour. You weren’t sure what to even do when you got home, you just sat kicked off your heels and slumped down on the couch. 

You sat staring out at the windows, watching as the raindrops slowly ran down the glass echoing the tears on your cheeks. You weren’t sure how long you just sat there, trapped in your own mind. 

You couldn’t bring yourself to move, not even when you heard the apartment door open nor when you heard Andy's footsteps approaching. You didn’t even look over when you felt the couch cushions sink next to you. 

“I’m sorry… I acted like an ass” Andy said quietly. 

Your fingers shook as you wiped away your tears, still refusing to look over at him. 

“I swear I told them the right number” you whispered. 

“I know, I’m sorry I didn’t believe you” Andy sighed “I went to the station to pick it up myself, the detective showed me the post-it note from when you called them which had the right number on it, the cop who collected it must have heard it wrong”

You let out a watery chuckle as you looked down at your lap “All day all I’ve tried to do is help, remind you to take breaks and not work yourself to death” you said finally looking over at him “I wasn’t distracted, I was looking out for you so to have that thrown back in my face… it hurt Andy, it really hurt”

You watched as Andy’s face crumbled. He shifted closer to you on the couch, putting a hesitant hand on your knee “I know I see that now and I’m so so sorry I just got so involved in the case that I didn’t look around enough to realise it and I’m so sorry”

You took a deep breath, you knew he was sorry, the look of regret on his face told you enough but you knew this couldn’t happen again. You wouldn’t let it. 

“Andy, you need to stop doing this,” you said taking his hand “I admire how much of yourself you give to these cases but you need to stop giving all of yourself otherwise there’s nothing left” you sighed shaking your head “you need to take breaks, need to be able to switch off, not act like an ass”

Andy nodded as he lowered his head and pressed a kiss to your knuckles “I will I promise” he whispered “I don’t ever want to mess this up”

You gave him a sympathetic smile as you ran your fingers through his hair and pressed a kiss to the top of his head “You won’t, it’ll take a lot more to scare me off”

Andy let out a watery chuckle sitting back up “Thank you” he whispered as he cupped your cheek and kissed you softly “thank you”

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[dwaekkicidal]

Helloooo:3 i want to know if you can write how would hyunjin react when finding out that reader who is his gf smokes??? Like they been dating for some time and he jst now realize she smokes?? Cuz im currently 21 but i been smoking since i was 12 (ik its early:3) feel free to ignore it! I was just curious:3

hii <3 i'm not sure exactly what you meant by smoking so I did this about both vapes and weed (cause im not comfy with cigarettes, sry if that’s what you wanted!) hope u enjoy :3

Hyunjin with an S/O Who Smokes

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ warnings: mentions of vapes and that good good aka weed (pls have your first time with somebody you trust in a safe environment 💜)

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ notes: I know in Korea weed isn't legal recreationally and vapes are also supposedly not legal so just read this as if you're both living in another country or just completely ignore the laws for delulu sake

DO NOT republish or translate+post my work!

Vapes:

Would only notice if he sees you taking a hit. Won’t notice otherwise, especially if whatever flavor(s) you use can come off as perfume or air freshener. (paboracha leader wont ask what that chilly gust of wind was or ask why the living room suddenly smells like grapes)

I think it would bug him for like a week and ONLY because “how did i not notice before..”

Eventually won’t care at all but it will make him nervous for the first few weeks

Begs Asks you to wean off to non-nicotine vapes if you aren't already using them just because he wants nothing but the best for his lover

If you introduce him to the idea of those anti-anxiety or melatonin vapes, he’d be curious and will want to try it eventually! (but will be shy about it when he comes to you to ask for help hehe ☺️)

Weed:

Would smell it before he sees you smoke it and would confuse the fuck out of him if he isn’t aware what weed smells like 😭

Paces around for 30 minutes like a lunatic, whispering under his breath “What is that smell. Where is it coming from.” over and over again until you fess up

Probably freaks him out him at first. Weed was just legalized in Korea for medical reasons in like 2018(?) (& only for very very few diagnoses) so if he hasn't been exposed to it then the idea might spook him

Will be anxious about it affecting your health, but with enough reassurance and enough time, he'll relax

That being said!! Eventually he wouldn't bat an eye. Worst case scenario might get annoyed about the smell and ask you to air out before he’s home

Might want to try it himself! especially when he finds out that it can help with stress/anxiety

Will try smoking at least once, but I can see him getting into edibles instead if he can’t get used to the lung burning or the smell but still wants the effects

Plan out an entire night and go the full mile with food delivery + snacks + drinks and cuddles with pretty rgb lighting for when he finally agrees to try getting high? He’s RUNNING to the nearest engagement ring store. The thought of you going out of the way for his first time will melt him into a puddle

Taglist:

@jiminssluttyminx @changisworld

[notfreetoday]

MPW Ep 2 Subtitle Corrections

Subtitle Corrections: Ep 1 here

Cultural/Language Tidbits: Ep 2 here

Same translation disclaimer applies. Thanks to everyone reading the first post and geeking out with me in the notes, I really appreciate it XD Ok, Ep 2, let's go! Sorry in advance for the length!

If you're wondering why Yoh's freaking out about the rainy season even though they've been together for 3 years, the manga artist posted a clarification on twitter:

By the way, “it’s been 3 years since then” – that phrase refers to it being 3 years since that conversation regarding the slave contract. As for living together, they’ve only just started (to do so) around Mar/April*, so (at this point) it’s only been a few months (for them). What if (I) got it wrong…. I remember making a note of it, but the file that I wrote it in and passed over (to the crew) couldn’t be found right, so… (was it) a dream?” *Japan's rainy season comes around June/July, so this means that this is the first rainy season these two have been experienced together.

[Y: まずっ] Y: Tastes bad In case the original "that sucks" sounds like Yoh might be talking about the news of the young forecaster - he's really just talking about the food here.

[S: 遅くなるからいらねぇっつっただろう] Original: I told you not to bother since I returned late Mine: I told you I wouldn't need it cause I'd be late right? This is actually a pretty harsh sounding line tbh. It's sort of inkeeping with Segasaki's curtness, but still pretty harsh - so this tells us he's tired after a long day, and explains the frown on his face that Yoh just wipes away with his cuteness

Nikujaga literally means meat and potatoes. It's a stewed dish and a very well-loved comfort food. Super easy to make too (link goes to an easy to follow recipe, and the site also explains a little about the dish).

[Y: 本当、顔だけはいいよな] Y: Really, it's only his face that looks good.

I've talked about this in my cultural/language tidbits for this episode (linked up top) but I'll add it here for completion's sake

[Y: あ、いや。なんでもない…です*] (Ah, iya, nandemonai…desu*) Y: Ah, no, it's….nothing* Yoh let's his sentence trail off before tacking on a "desu" at the end. "Desu" is an ending verb characteristic of "polite" speech, which Yoh doesn't use frequently with Segasaki (in fact, by this point, he has not used polite speech with Segasaki at all, except for maybe saying the full form of the word "welcome home", and even that's pushing it). Here he adds it at the end as an afterthought (the polite form of "iya" would be "iie", if he had wanted the whole sentence to be polite from the get go), which tells us that Yoh's feeling a little off-kilter here, and does introduce the slightest distance between him and Segasaki. We'll see this distance increase as the episode goes on.

[Y: いや、どう考えても食べ過ぎだろう] Y: No but, no matter which way you look at it, (he's) eaten way too much hasn't he? Btw, if your hair started standing at the spoon scraping the pot - in the manga artist's post about visiting the shooting venue (as well as during Ep 1 twitter space) it was mentioned that Mashiko, the actor, can actually cook, so during filming they had to tell him what someone who can't would likely do, and also asked him to do the housework poorly (because Yoh's not supposed to be good at cooking or housework hahaha)

この人*、明日も朝早いんだよな。たぶん。 Original: This guy, has an early morning again tomorrow. Probably. Mine: This person*, has (to leave) early tomorrow morning too. Probably. *The word here is "kono hito", literally "this person". There's actually nothing wrong with the translation "this guy" tbh because that's a fairly neutral term in English, but I'm highlighting it here because in his monologues, Yoh usually refers to Segasaki using much rougher language, such as "koitsu, aitsu", except when he addresses Segasaki directly in his head. I'll talk more about how Yoh addresses Segasaki in the analysis post, but for now - this sentence hints that Yoh has clocked Segasaki's tiredness (subconsciously or not) and is feeling a little bad for him. Then again he quickly hides that by adding on "probably". (Adding the word "probably" behind your sentence is a common way to express doubt/negate what you just said, and incidentally is commonly used by comedians to deliver a punchline).

[Y: あの*…あの…寝るなら部屋でとおもって。] Original: Um… Hey… You should go back to your room. Mine: Um*... Um... if you're going to sleep then, (it would be better to sleep) in your room - at least that's what I thought...

*"あの…" (ano…), translated as "um" here, is a common sound you use when you want to get someone's attention but don't want to sound too demanding - it actually isn't being polite per se, but it does show the hesitancy with which Yoh approaches him. Contrast this with the way Segasaki gets Yoh's attention (so far it's just been "Yoh" or "Oi" - the latter of which you would NOT use unless you were close to the person, or looking for a fight).

As a general rule of thumb, the level of politeness in Japanese is directly correlated with the length of the sentence and just how far you can beat around the bush. So, Yoh's suggestion that Segasaki goes to sleep in his room is literally just "if sleeping, then room..." and everything else in that translation is assumed. He may not being using polite speech forms here (that would be "to omoimashita" instead of "to omotte") but this is still a common way to be polite because he's making a suggestion that is so mild Segasaki can choose to ignore it. This is a great example of Brown & Levinson's "negative politeness" which we'll revisit when analysing their speech patterns, and which you can read about in entirely too much detail here (free to read).

[Y: じゅあ、俺は寝るので** あの、その、そういうことで、おやすみ] Original: Then, I’ll go to sleep. That…sort of thing. Good night. Mine: So then, I'm going to bed, therefore**... Um... that... with that... night!

"Therefore" is an awkward translation for the word ので (node), which is more often translated as "so". I've chosen to use that word because "node", whilst again not a polite form per se, is less colloquial than the more commonly used "から(kara)", to mean the same thing. It tends to pop up more in writing than in speech. "Therefore" doesn't make a sentence polite/formal in English, but it's definitely less colloquial than using the word "so". The use of "node" is just that tiny bit out of place in this sentence paired with the informal pronoun "ore" for "I" as opposed to the more formal choice of "boku".

Again, Yoh answers Segasaki properly here with a "はい (hai)" as opposed to his usual "un" (which is a sound that expresses agreement), when told that Segasaki will be late again. There actually aren't very many moments where Yoh does speak politely to Segasaki (he's definitely rude when he talks about Segasaki in his head hahaha), so these moments stand out. This whole short exchange, together with the random -desu he added earlier, just make Yoh's sentences a little more stilted/awkward, and more distant. Individually they don't deserve much mention at all, but together, and in the context of his jealousy, show just how unsure Yoh is about where he stands with Segasaki.

[Y: あの人の帰宅が遅くなり] Y: That person returned home later and later

"That person" - similar to the above usage of "this person". This sentence is incomplete - the verb form of the last word - 遅くなり (osokunari) indicates that there should be a second part to the sentence (the "completed" form would be osokunatta). But after he says this, there is a pregnant pause, as Yoh puts his phone down and continues cooking alone. The pause continues all the way into the next scene, before the sentence continues, highlighting the loneliness that Yoh feels.

[Y: 当然、触れられることもないままに] Original: Of course, he did not touch me at all Mine: (and) of course, (I) remained untouched (by him) as well

The literal translation for this would be "(the situation in which I) was not touched (by him) continued on as well". Yoh uses the passive form of the word "touch", which places the emphasis on Yoh "receiving" the action of being touched as opposed to placing the emphasis on Segasaki "carrying out" the action of touching Yoh. Consider the difference between the sentences "I was hurt by him" and "he hurt me". The former is the passive form, and is super common in Jp, much less common in Eng. If this is confusing - welcome to Jp grammar just know that the emphasis of this line is more on what Yoh does not have, rather than what Segasaki has not done. It accentuates Yoh's feelings of emptiness and loss.

Y: すっかり日々は過ぎて Y: The days pass by completely ...

Similarly, this sentence is "incomplete", and is instead continued by Segasaki walking in and telling Yoh he'll be late again. (This whole bit just hurts my soul tbh, Yoh is so lonely. )

This is a teruteru bouzu aka a charm of sorts for good weather. See the cultural tidbits post for Ep 2 linked up top for more info!

This is said really strongly, and gives the "what the hell are you doing" feel. Yoh's truly upset here.

I try not to care about some of the subs in these side conversations because they don't add much to the main story and these posts are already too long, but this sentence should really be "Dammit, maybe I should (go) troll the chat" (and the previous sentence should be "If this was broadcasted in a certain country it would be instant death" aka N.Korea ^^;) and I just think it was a nice touch to hint at the fandom wars/flaming that goes on between fans hahaha

[Y: しんどい] Y: This is too draining The word here used is "shindoi", which is a term used when you're feeling mentally/physically exhausted/drained, and carries a sense of frustration (at feeling this way) and sometimes (emotional) pain.

This. Is. Huge. Segasaki does 2 things here - one, he rejects an after-work meal, which you rarely do because Japan is all about the group and rejecting a group invite, to welcome a new member, can make you seem like you aren't a team player - two, the guy who invites him is his senior, which you can tell because Segasaki sticks to polite speech forms whilst the other guy does not. It's still relatively casual, so you can tell he's got a good working relationship with them (probably why he's not worried about rejecting them) but still. In Segasaki's world, Yoh is the No. 1 priority.

This is more accurately "WTF". There are many sounds in Japanese that aren't exactly words, but carry a lot of meaning - "Haa?!" is one of them, and is a very rude way to express a lot of anger and shock. Please, never say this in real life. You will royally piss off whoever it's directed at and if you are outside a Shibuya bar you will get punched.

The word used here is てめぇ (temee), which is a really rude way to say "you", and has the same energy as "you bastard". Segasaki usually uses the informal pronoun "omae" for "you" when he talks to Yoh, he's definitely pissed off here.

This is the same word, "shindoi" again.

I'm going to put the rest of the whole argument here with just my translation because it's too long to screencap the whole thing.

[S: 何なんだよ？このエロい惨状は Y: うるさい。 Y: 俺は売れっ子エロ漫画家になるんだ S: なんだそりゃ。おい *takes away beer can* Y: 売れっ子さんが　シコリながらネーム描くと　いいのができるって言ってた S: なんも描けてなかったぞ。 S: おい、だめだっつってんの S: 飲みすぎ　出すもん出して　寝てただけだろう Y: 黙れ！ Y: 俺はエロくて　抜ける漫画描いて　いっぱい稼いで Y: 早く　こんなとこ出ていくんだ S: はあ？　おい、お前　どういうつもりだよ Y: どうもこうもないよ！ Y: 平気で抱かれてると思うなよ 。 Y: 俺のこと、好きでもないくせに Y: 便利な奴隷としか思ってないんだろう？そんなにやりたきゃ隣のキャスターとやってろよ S: お前　さっきから　何を... Y: 俺はあんな風に笑いかけられたことない]

Breakdown: S: What's up with this? This lewd disaster of a scene Y: (You're) annoying! ["うるさい (urusai)" is often translated as "shut up", but it literally means someone is being "noisy", and here is more of a complaint that Segasaki is being bothersome] Y: I'm going to become a hot-selling erotica manga artist! [the word used here is 売れっ子 (urekko), which literally means "someone who gets huge sales" and mostly refers to idols, entertainers, TV personalities etc. So Yoh is not just saying he's going to become popular, he's saying he's gonna be like a celebrity manga artist, which is why Segasaki snorts a little at this] S: What's with that? Hey. *takes away beer can* Y: The hot sellers say that if you jerk off whilst drawing your storyboard, you'll come up with good stuff [urekko-san is a pretty cute way of referring to these popular artists] S: You've not drawn anything, you know? [this is said with a really indulgent air, which contrasts directly with the more authoritative tone of the next line] S: Hey, I'm telling you no more *grabs beer can* S: You drank too much. You just shot what you shot and then went to sleep didn't you? [And this is back to an indulgent tone - also, everyone knows Segasaki is talking about cumming here, he just doesn't actually say it so directly] Y: Shut up! ["黙れ (damare) - contrast with "urusai" earlier. The former is used much less commonly and really does mean to "be quiet". This is why Segasaki pauses and looks at Yoh. Up until now Segasaki just thinks Yoh's gotten drunk and is whining cutely, but this word means things are serious.] Y: I'm going to draw manga that is erotic, that you can wank off to, and then earn lots of money [this is a call back to the conversation with Man-san over the phone in Ep 1, which I did not include earlier because I didn't think it was important to the story when Yoh says "the work that was released last month was amazing! There was a big buzz around the topic "I can't wank off (to this)" - Yoh was being sarcastic here, meaning that he got reviews that his work wasn't erotic enough] Y: and leave this sort of place soon! S: What? Hey - what (the hell) are you thinking? [Again, "haa?" here shows he does NOT like what Yoh's saying, but he does soften the end of the sentence with a "yo"] Y: I'm not thinking of anything! Y: Embracing me so easily - don't think you can (keep on) doing that [again, this is the passive form, so the emphasis is on Yoh being embraced, and here has the nuance of "don't think I'll just (keep on) being fine with being embraced (by you) like it's some sort of norm"] Y: when you don't even like me [this line has quite a bit of bitterness in it - the emphasis here is strongly on Segasaki and his apparent "non-liking" of Yoh my english is dying.] Y: You think of me as just a convenient slave, don't you? Y: If you want to do it that much, go do it with that forecaster next to you! S: You... from the start... what have (you been saying?) Y: I have never been smiled at like that before [again, this is in passive voice]

It's obvious from the acting alone that this entire argument is pretty emotionally charged - this is also reflected in the language because Yoh uses the pronoun "ore (I)" a lot. Pronouns are frequently dropped in Japanese - often you can go an entire conversation without ever uttering the words "I/me" or "you", in part because the pronouns are assumed and also because emphasis on an individual can come across as too selfish/narcissistic or direct. Segasaki uses them often enough with Yoh, which fits his personality, but Yoh normally doesn't. So, when he uses "ore" here it stands out - his plans to be successful and leave, his feelings, his interpretation of Segasaki's actions - all of the emphasis is on his own self. The message is very clear - Yoh is hurting a lot more than he is blaming or accusing Segasaki.

[Y: もう疲れた。あんたといると疲れる。嫌いだ S: お前　酒入るとめちゃくちゃしゃべるんだな Y: ねぇ、何で雨の時はだめなの？ S: はあ？　だって���お前が言ったんだろう] Y: (I'm) tired out. When (I'm) with you, (I) get tired. Hate it. [We've lost the "I" pronouns here, because the emphasis is on the extreme sense of physical and emotional fatigue as opposed to Yoh himself, and on how much he dislikes that feeling. Of note, "hate" here is closer to "detest/really dislike" - the word is "kirai" - which is not as strong as the word "nikui" which we talked about in Ep 1 when Yoh said he hated the part of him that always listened to Segasaki. Also, this is the first time Yoh has addressed Segasaki with the pronoun "you" out loud - he uses "あんた anta", which he also used in his head in Ep 1, after they did it. Again, we'll talk about this in the analysis post in the future, but for now just know that this term is usually used between older couples.] S: You... once you start drinking you really start talking huh? [literally, you "become able to talk"] Y: Hey...why is it when it rains, (we) can't do it? S: What? Because, you said so didn't you? [the last "haa?" from Segasaki! This time expressing his surprise and slight indignation.]

[S: 俺は優しいんだ] S: I. am. Kind. Great example of Segasaki's use of the "ore" pronoun here to quite literally emphasise how great he is. "優しい (kind)" in Japanese carries the connotation of being thoughtful, anticipating the other person's needs and wants and then meeting them etc. It's a characteristic that people often say they look for in their potential partners.

[S: そもそも、なんだ先の言いぐさは 好きじゃないだの　出ていきたいだの お前　俺のプロポーズを受けといてよくそんなことが言えんな S: 養ってやる*っつってんだ　プロポーズ以外になに] S: In the first place, what was with those things you said earlier? That you don't like me, that you want to leave... You... that was rich, saying all that after accepting my proposal. S: I was saying I'd provide and care* for you. If that's not a proposal than what is? ["養ってやる" is a pretty possessive way to say I'll provide for you - it's the same word used when referring to parent providing for a child, or an owner providing for a small animal. It's not rude per se, but it does imply a power imbalance. Segasaki actually sort of has a point here because... this is not something you say to someone else unless you're in a relationship ^^;]

S: ていうかお前、俺のこと嫌いなんだ S: どうなの S: Actually about that... so you hate me huh? S: Which is it?

S: ふーん。あ、そ S: Ohh..? I see. ふーん (Ohh..?) - Segasaki says this a lot, especially in this episode. This is another one of those sounds that isn't a word but carries a lot of meaning. It has a dismissive sort of tone to it, like you've already assumed something or when you're pretty nonchalant/not impressed about whatever the other person has said and are just playing along with them by giving them some attention (so again, if you use it wrongly, it can piss people off). Segasaki uses it whenever Yoh goes mute or shy, as a way to tease Yoh - though Yoh seems to think Segasaki is dismissing/not interested in his answer. あ、そ (A, so) - again, Segasaki says this a lot - can be interpreted as "oh really?/I see/is that so?" - Combined with the above, you can see why Yoh often thinks Segasaki isn't interested in his answer, and even when he does recognise it as teasing, he gets too flustered to do anything about it.

This seems to have gotten longer, if you reached the end - congratulations! I hope this makes it a little clearer why it's so obvious to us as the viewer that Segasaki is really quite patient with Yoh, and is waiting for him to come to terms with his feelings, but at the same time so confusing for Yoh, because of the way many of these interactions can be read both ways. In Ep 3, we'll really be able to get into their dynamics because they've got so much more interaction together.

[onigiriico]

Shidou audio drama (t2) - English TL

[ links: Spotify / Youtube ]

Thank you Shidou for going on a deep dive into both medicine and law in one drama. I have not learned this much new vocabulary in a while lmao (Jokes aside though, I do hope that I managed to get through this without any major errors! As always, if you find any mistakes anyway or just have questions, feel free to bring them to my ask box or my Twitter ✨)

Also, there's a direct quote from the Japanese criminal law at one point in this vd - the translation of that line is based on this translation of Japanese law.

⬇️ full voice drama translation under the cut ⬇️

(door opens)

E: It’s been a while, Shidou.

S: Orbital floor fracture on the right. Traumatic retinal detachment. Bruising. Lacerations. Partial fracture of the thorax. This is Kajiyama-kun’s present condition.

E: I know that. I didn’t anticipate Kotoko’s behavior, either. For now, I’ll be taking the opportunity of this second trial to judge–

E: Fuuta’s…

S: Shiina-kun’s is even worse. Head lacerations. Bruising all over her body. Left anterior compression fracture. A sprained neck. Fractured ribs. Further fracturing to the left arm. And furthermore… this may be outside of my profession, but her mental health is deteriorating as well.

E: Mahiru…

S: Both their minds and bodies are at their limits. Let’s stop this already, Es-kun. A lot has happened while you were gone. At this rate, someone might end up dead.

S: That’s not what I mean! I think we should put an end to Milgram as a whole. Both for our sake and for yours.

E: …That’s impossible.

S: Why?

E: I can’t think of any method of stopping it… or any way to get out.

S: …!

E: Milgram won’t end just because I want it to. That’s all I know. It won’t end until your judgment is complete. That’s the core of it.

S: You’re… the same as us, aren’t you? You just got caught up in a bigger picture.

E: Don’t lump me in with you! You’re an inmate, I’m the Warden. Now that I’ve started this, I intend to see it through until the end.

S: Es-kun…

E: Anyways, your eyes sure have gained some life since we last saw each other. Back then, you always wore an expression that made it hard to tell whether you were alive or dead, but…

S: Is that so?

E: Is it because you’ve received the result of the first trial…?

S: About that… I’ve been thinking that I would like to hear your thoughts. Why did you forgive me? Even though I asked not to be forgiven.

E: Why would the Warden listen to what a prisoner tells them? I decide based on my own standards.

S: You saw my true self, didn’t you? There ought to be very few people who have killed more than I have. In comparison to me, the prisoners who weren’t forgiven have also hardly done anything wrong.

E: You’re a doctor. I’ve deduced that your murders happened in the context of medical procedures.

S: …

E: Organ transplants… in other words, the act of removing organs from braindead patients. That’s what your murder is. Am I wrong?

S: I see. So that’s what was shown in the footage?

E: Not that straight-forward, of course. But from the information given, we came to the conclusion that this is the most likely scenario.

S: Hm? ‘We’...?

E: …

S: You said ‘we’ just now...

E: …Did I… say that…?

S: Yes.

E: …Fine. Don’t worry about it. Let’s get back to the topic. The topic of what I deduced, that is.

S: It’s impressive, isn’t it… Milgram… After all this time, I won’t try to deny it being a top class prison, but it really is the real thing.

E: Is that your way of saying I was right?

S: Well… About halfway, I would say.

E: Hmph. Either way, I judged that murders as the result of medical practices could be forgiven. Without regard to what you were hoping for.

S: …

E: I intend to investigate in my own way. Whether or not it’s okay to regard braindead patients entirely as dead… it seems that this has become an increasingly controversial topic in recent years.

S: You’ve done your research.

E: I don’t care about the discussions of your world, though. I decided that you could be forgiven. That’s enough.

S: … Why is that?

E: In the first place, getting involved with organ transplants is part of your job as a doctor. I doubt it’s something that you did out of your own free will.

S: I… I took a lot of pride in my work. I considered it a good deed. I wouldn’t say I didn’t do it out of my own will.

E: Well, you did it to save people, didn’t you? In truth, there must have been a fair amount of people whom you did save with it.

S: I thought so, too. Doing it for a good cause without a single doubt.

E: In exchange for the life of a person who has no option left but to await death, you can save a person who has the chance to live on, right? In that case, you shouldn’t even have to think twice.

S: I thought so, too… arrogant as I was.

E: Is that to say that you don’t think that way anymore?

S: Yes, that’s right. You know, I… continuously tried to persuade the relatives of a braindead patient who were against organ transplants. Giving them reasons like the ones you just mentioned, Es-kun. “In order to save the life of someone you don’t know, please let me kill your family,” I told them. It doesn’t even take much thinking to realize how cruel that is, but… I didn’t realize it until the very end.

E: … Isn’t that just a placebo? I would think that family ties play no role in that context.

S: Do you still feel that way if it’s your own family?

E: …

S: Es-kun, is your family alive and well?

E: I don’t know… I don’t remember.

S: Is that so? I’m sorry about that.

E: It’s fine. It’s not like I feel any particular way about something I don’t even remember. Besides, I don’t think my judgment would change even if it involved my own family.

S: There’s no way.

E: Even if my family happened to end up imprisoned in Milgram, I would see my job through to the end.

S: Family is… special.

E: Huh?

S: Let’s digress for a moment. Have you studied criminal law?

E: Well, the most important parts at least. I’ve been learning about it since I started working as the Warden.

S: Excellent. So, for example, if someone harbors a criminal or tampers with evidence in order to protect that criminal, that is a crime in itself, right?

E: That’s articles 103 and 104.

S: You remembered well. Can you recall article 105 as well?

E: No… Are you familiar with it?

S: It’s not my area of expertise, but I remember it because it left a big impression on me. Article 105 states that, “when a crime prescribed under the preceding two Articles is committed for the benefit of the criminal or fugitive by a relative of such person, the relative may be exempted.”

E: So essentially, even if someone covered for a criminal or helped them out, they won’t be held legally responsible for it if the criminal is part of their family?

S: That’s right. For me, no matter whether it’s according to the law or in any other context, it’s only normal to help each other in a family.

E: That’s a very fascinating story. But even with all this, I still don’t get what you’re trying to say.

S: (chuckles) I wonder. Maybe I just wanted you to listen to it.

E: … As always, I can’t entirely wrap my head around you.

S: I’m talking about how, unlike you, I can no longer claim that I’m doing my work for a good cause. I’ve lost the right to.

E: And something happened that changed your mind?

S: That’s… right. Although you’ll probably be finding out about that once you watch the extracted footage.

E: Yeah. Let’s have a look.

S: Es-kun. I’ve killed a lot of people. Like I previously told you in the interrogation, I’ve killed for selfish reasons as well. So…

E: Are you about to beg me not to forgive you again? Even though I’ve already told you it’s no use?

S: That’s right. Please don’t forgive me… is what I would like to ask.

E: …

S: I… “I don’t want to be forgiven”. That feeling of mine remains the same. I need to be punished. I need to atone for my sins. I don’t think Milgram is in the right, but…! There is no better place than this to atone for my crimes. But… as long as Milgram continues like this… we won’t be able to save those who get injured if I don’t get forgiven!

E: …!

S: Even now, Shiina-kun is still in a condition where any digression could be fatal. She can’t live without my treatment. If I’m not forgiven, she will end up dying!

E: That’s… true, I suppose.

S: From now on, conflicts between the prisoners will probably become more frequent. If I’m not there… they will be in even more danger.

E: Shidou…

(machinery whirrs, bell rings)

S: I need to be punished… but I need to stay alive, or young lives will be lost. I… I don’t know what to wish for anymore. I’m starting to think… that I want to live. That I want to be forgiven. Despite being so riddled with sins…!

E: … Shidou. Do you remember what I told you?

S: …

E: Back when you were still fine with dying at any moment, I told you to desperately want to live. “Because we have an attachment to life, punishments for sins exist in the first place. Your existence in itself is a sacrilege to Milgram and myself,” I said.

S: Yes… I remember.

E: And now, finally, you’ve gotten attached to life and become a real prisoner of Milgram. That’s what I believe. You wanting to be forgiven, and your wish… those are the steps that now represent you.

S: … That won’t do… I mustn’t be forgiven. Otherwise… the countless lives I’ve taken will never be paid back. 

E: Heh. If you’re really trying to give your life as compensation for the people you’ve killed, then there’s no reason to stay alive that will hold up, anyway.

S: …

E: Don’t face them with a life that you’re easily willing to throw away.

S: Es-kun, you’re a… strict… person, aren’t you?

E: I told you before, didn’t I? Because you’re the type of person I dislike the most.

S: (chuckles) It��s a pity. Since coming to Milgram, I’m being hated by children left and right. Even though I do like them.

E: Hmph. Like I care. But… but, you know…

S: Hm?

E: Thank you for saving Fuuta and Mahiru. I’m glad you’re here in Milgram, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart.

S: Es…kun…

E: That’s all. Prisoner no.5, Shidou – sing your sins.

[buttercupshands]

Chapter 419 Analysis or "How to completely break Tenko Shimura" a manipulative guide from All For One (part 1)

This is mainly a character analysis of Shigaraki Tomura or Shimura Tenko, any other character present is there to help.

Chapter 419 was hard to comprehend even with just summaries right on April 4th. Some things need at least fan translation to fully make sense. Or just hurt more in that matter.

Warning of spoilers to the whole manga to the point of chapter 419! All of the warnings from the respective Tomura chapters are applicable.

So like... mentions of death, killing other people, manipulation, emotional abuse and many more!

This is Part 1 - See Part 2 for something less depressing

This is going to be long! So let's start, shall we?

First of all we'll need to take into understanding ALL the chapters that we'll need to remember/reread just make this chapter worse (skip if already familiar with them):

Chapter 222 - Tomura Shigaraki: Distortion

Chapter 234 - Destruction Sense

Chapter 235 - Tenko Shimura: Origins

Chapter 236 - Tenko Shimura Origins, Part 2

Chapter 237 - Tomura Shigaraki: Origins

This is your "Tenko and Tomura understanding" starter pack, basically. Without them it's harder to even start unpacking what just happened with Tomura's perspective in mind

Well then.

The chapter starts and we are immediately greeted by AFO semi-agreeing without wanting to, that Tomura was strong enough before Izuku started trying "saving" him in his own way and even succeeded making Tenko's will all the more fragile than it was when he returned using his hate to his advantage.

Even after Izuku holding Tenko's hands for the whole chapter he was still stubborn enough to continue even without that hate in his heart

And the thing that initial summaries missed was the fact that Tomura actually reacted to AFO reapperance.

Still not understanding why AFO was even saying that.

Tenko was literally taught by AFO to follow "what he wants" in ch 237 with Tenko making his first decision to kill someone himself. And never actually hiding that Tomura just needed to never forget that hatred and those bad emotions that Tomura never really understood. And it took Izuku seconds to decipher them.

With AFO reassuring Tomura that he has no need in following morals of society and just should follow whatever he wants - his want to destroy everything that hurts him. And only AFO would accept and help him. He was constantly reminded of that.

Even if Tenko was feeling sick from killing at first, even if hands that he wore were still making him sick 15 years later without him understanding anything. Decisions made while person is emotional are usually the ones that the person might regret the most and Tomura lived with those unstable emotions for years. Knowing that they hurt him and make him feel sick.

But Sensei said that it's okay to follow those emotions. That's it's actually great that he does it.

Everything was for his sake, everything was for Tomura Shigaraki and Tomura Shigaraki only. He was his Sensei's successor and no one should argue with it. He's the only one to be next ruler of the underground and the next king. And Tomura gladly accepted that as truth.

Since it was easier than facing his guilt.

Because AFO just needed Tomura to have enough willpower to get OFA when the plan is ready. To make Gigantomachia to follow him while Garaki was watching knowing full well how the plan is going. Both knowing full well that Tomura is still holding himself back.

In this chapter however we finally see how all of the things AFO told and taught Tenko were just to make him so sure that HE was in control and allowed to do whatever he wants to completely break his worldview in the end "after he gets OFA" which is an unreachable goal now since OFA is gone for good.

By just saying that Tenko never had any choice to begin with.

Tomura already knew that AFO manipulated him and he was just a pawn, needed only to get OFA and piss off All-Might he accepted and embraced it as something unimportant. It was his choice and he was free to do it and not feel bad about it. Since he's born to destroy.

Until suddenly it wasn't just his life after Decay that was manipulated.

But his whole life from birth. Just because AFO didn't get his hands on Hana sooner and she was happy while AFO needed someone hurt and broken. And Shimura's household wasn't as bad as he needed it to be at first with Kotaro loving his children, wife, in-laws and even his mother.

And AFO destroyed it by creating so much conflict and even going out of his way to make sure Tenko's father knew that he was playing heroes with some kids. And even saved them by putting his own quirkless life in danger.

In some sense narrator-Tomura's words at the end of ch 236 still might hold true. AFO didn't just create his hate out of nowhere, to make it feel like even if Tenko remembers everything it's still he's doing not a villain appearing, not just some accident that it actually was.

Although AFO doesn't say anything about people who didn't help Tenko even though he he knew that it happened so he most probably was watching it happen until Tenko lost all hope entirely to finaly make him dependent on his help.

And he succeeded for the most part.

Tomura was making an assumption after he remembered everything that he "must've been yearning for that" and from that point onwards explains everything that happened as "I wanted it - I did it" and was clinging to it like a lifeline to explain everything.

He accepted that if Re-Destro is talking about his Decay quirk affecting him he exists only to destroy.

And now it seems he found a false motivation for himself that AFO created by cruely manipulating everything from his quirk to his family. Making him believe he had a hand in it. Breaking one of "safe" truths that Tomura never doubted. They only made his decisions feel right.

Which makes that a hopeless loop of broken memories being staged just to let Tenko become Tomura who hates and destroys everything believing that it's his choice. Only choice at that.

And if destroying is him only choice because of his quirk... then what can a quirkless person do while having so many people dead from his own hands? Hands that were literally cursed to have destruction quirk in them not because he was born to do it. But because his own Sensei wanted that.

And he's "unwavering heart" is now nothing but an illusion that was destroyed by both Izuku and AFO together.

There's no "Can I be a Hero?", because can he even be a Villain if most of the choices that were from Decay and the hatred in his heart weren't actually his own?