#minecraft incorrect quotes

[minecraft-otter]

Minecraft Story Mode Incorrect Quotes but it's the old Order of the Stone bc I love them

•─────✧─────•

Soren: Do you ever have a civilized conversation that doesn't require insulting each other every time you get a chance?

Magnus: No.

Ellegaard: No.

Soren, defeated: Didn't think so...

─────────────────────

Ellegaard, to Magnus: You have room temperature IQ.

Magnus: What's room temperature IQ?

Ivor: 73°.

Magnus: Oh, okay.

Magnus: How much is that in IQ?

─────────────────────

2am, Temple of the Order

Ivor, cut up and covered in feathers: Just so everyone knows, don't ever try to climb a tree at night carrying a strobe light, owls DO NOT like it.

Soren, exausted: ...What happened?

Ivor: I made a VERY bad mistake.

─────────────────────

Gabriel: I think you're still suffering the effects of your party last night.

Magnus: All I drank was potion bases!!!

Gabriel: How many?

Magnus: Eighteen...

─────────────────────

In the Nether

Gabriel, trying to warn about the location of an enemy: To the left!

Magnus: Take it back now y'all!

─────────────────────

Gabriel: Breathe, just breathe.

Magnus: I’ve done nothing with my life! I’m a failure!

Ivor: Awww, that never bothered you before.

─────────────────────

Ellegaard: Ha! Don't you know the trappers trap can trap the trapper?

Ellegaard: I must be losing it, I'm quoting Magnus.

─────────────────────

Ivor: Well, you see, the explanation is perfectly simple and scientific. It was because shut up. Shut up is why.

─────────────────────

11pm, Temple of the Order

Gabriel: We might have gotten into a bar slight bar fight in a nearby village...

Ivor: Well, that was entirely predictable.

Gabriel: One of them punched an iron golem...

Ivor: Magnus?

Gabriel: Ellegaard, actually...

Ivor: Oh, that was going to be my second guess.

─────────────────────

Ellegaard: If you think I’m playing favorites, you’re wrong. I love all of you equally!

Ellegaard, earlier: I don’t care for Magnus.

─────────────────────

Magnus: Damn Ellie, are you secretly cool?

Ellegaard: Well, poker is just math, so I guess it depends on if you consider the mathematician, Carl Friedrich Gauss, cool.

Magnus, leaving the room: I do not.

─────────────────────

Ellegaard: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?

Soren: It isn’t smirking at anyone. They’re all just imagining it.

Gabriel: Three of us saw it, Soren. How do you explain that?

Soren: *points at Ivor* Sleep deprivation. *points at Gabriel* Paranoia. *points at Magnus* Various concussions.

•─────✧─────•

I'm slaying so hard rn

[hollowgl0w]

Life series/hermitcraft incorrect quotes

[a-bit-dapper]

i believe that the grian-martyn friendship is a very underrated one

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

TG: looking at minecraft po rn

TT: Oh?

TT: Something you're not telling us, dear brother?

TG: NO

TG: NO

TG: MINECRAFT PO

[kyuumon]

All natural, babyyyyyy

(X)

[alien-slushie]

Deruth: What did you do this weekend?

Cale: Joined a Cult, got engaged, became the Priest of said Cult, blew up a building, called off the engagement, adopted some children, and set another building on fire. Not nessicarrily in that order.

Deruth: ...this is revenge for ignoring you, isn't it?

Cale: :)

[natashamissesherobrine]

steve: goodnight alex

steve: goodnight wolf

steve: goodnight stars

steve: goodnight strange man who looks exactly like me but has white eyes and haunts me and probably wants to kill me

herobrine: goodnight steve 😊

[thirdlotusprince3]

[Playing Minecraft]

Sokka: Zuko where are you?

Zuko, stuck in a two block deep hole in a cave, sobbing: I DON’T F-CKING KNOW?!

[cricketblabbers]

Gem: I swear I'm the only one here with a braincell.

The rest of GIGS, chanting around her: All hail the keeper of the sacred braincell!

[laurancezvahlslefteyebrow]

goofies

[radi8290]

crawling back to tumblr because MCD has once again taken over my every waking thought

[hollowgl0w]

Life series incorrect quotes pt 2

[sirenaex]

Yuu: Azul, for the last time, you can't tax people for walking on the land around your minecraft house.

Azul: I haven't the slightest clue as to what you're referring to

Yuu: Oh really? Then tell me why I had to forcefully remove Ace from Tsunotarou and I's base because he decided to use it to hide from the "greedy tax man"

Azul: So that's where he was hiding! Uh- I meant, how strange. I can't say I know anything about this "greedy tax man" you're referring to.

Yuu: You have 10 seconds to start running

[noturlondonboy]

Yelena and Kate: *playing Minecraft*

Yelena: okay, I’m gonna go start on the garden while you finish the animal pen. Do you have a hoe I can use?

Kate, smirking: I could be your hoe

Yelena: *unimpressed*

Yelena: Kate Bishop, I am THIS close to throwing your diamonds into a lava pit

Kate: okay okay yes I have a hoe you can use!

[kittycatcomander]

AU where SBI are villains, and Kristin is the villain wrangler making sure all the kids who get counseling in her office get a chance to meet who ever they want, even if they’re wanted dead by the hero commission.

Cue meet-cute(?) between Kristin and Phil, where she spends weeks tracking down the infamous “ Crowfather, killer of heroes and hater of the system” because some little kid wanted see him, and she stands tall and totally not terrified (/s) on a rooftop waiting for him.

And Phil is faced with this woman who spent hours and hours researching his routines not to arrest him but to let a little kid meet him, and he just falls for her.

So they exchange numbers, and everytime from there on out when Kristin has a kid who wants to meet The Blade or Orpheus or Nemesis she just casually shoots THE TOP VILLAIN a message, internally screaming, while Phil is kicking his feet on the air like a stereotypical teenager everytime his phone dings with a personalized ringtone.

Hero!Dream: I have finally confronted you, doer of evil! Today, our fight will be legend-

Crowfather!Phil: wait pause mate- OMG ITS HER 🥰🥰

Hero!Dream: wait wha-

Technoblade: I’ll take it from here

And so begins her getting really casual about the fact she personally texts the top villain.

I’m imagining some side stuff where she meets Tommy, a sidekick in desperate need of help (which she’s happy to provide), and a few others who’s relationship evolves with her over time.

Kirstin when first meeting the Blade: hooooooly smokes this guy is Dangerous, but if the kid wants to meet him… I’ll be prepared

Techno: uhhhhhh (struggling to interact with the receptionist, holds kids and swings them around gently like planes, lets them win fake fights)

Kristin: ok wait he’s like seven shaking puppies built like a brick house

She and Phil talk more and more as the arrangement continues, about everything and eventually life, and things shift from there. The first time that a villain tries hurting one of the kids also shifts their relationship…. especially since Kristin handles it as efficiently as she does.

There’s more, but in this AU I imagine Kristin to have a super dangerous power of her own (unregistered because teehee) that motivated her to work with troubled youth in need of help and kids working with a limited lifespan. I want her to be OP but just friendly and downplaying her ability since she was never in a situation to use it to the full extant.

Also there’d obviously be a CrimeBoys plot and adoption of Tommy into the family (bye bye Dream) which leads to her getting invited over to like. Family dinners and stuff, where the interactions are all completely cute and normal but undercut by her perspective reminding her of crimes they’ve all committed. Like-

“Phil, who had the most beautiful eyes but hands stained with the blood of approximately 3,791 people, passed her the salad with a bright smile. His son(?) continued the story of how he met a new friend. Kristin wasn’t sure if the story was in or out of masks, and she was scared to ask at this point.”

I especially want her to and Phil to reflect the two main approaches to changing the world, where you could either completely destroy the system in place (villains, anarchy) and forcefully restart, or you could tackle an issue at its lowest (if the world is full of corrupt people, change the people from a young age)

[daily-ava-avm-quotes-n-hcs]

Yellow: My stomach growled super loud in French. Yellow: I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class. Second: Bonjour. Purple: Le growl. Green: Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette.