#minimalizing the damage they do as a community

[dandelionsresilience]

Dandelion News - September 15-21

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1. A beam of hope for North America’s most endangered sparrow

“Dozens of conservationists, gathered some distance away to avoid spooking the skittish sparrows, celebrated the [release of the 1000th captive-raised sparrow] in an unprecedented recovery program that in only a few years has doubled the bird’s wild population, from a mere 80 five years ago to some 200 today. […] “What we have achieved is the best case scenario.””

2. U.S. overdose deaths plummet, saving thousands of lives

“"In the states that have the most rapid data collection systems, we’re seeing declines of twenty percent, thirty percent," said Dr. Nabarun Dasgupta, an expert on street drugs at the University of North Carolina. […] According to Donaldson, many people using fentanyl now carry naloxone, a medication that reverses most opioid overdoses. He said his friends also use street drugs with others nearby, ready to offer aid and support when overdoses occur.”

3. Propagated corals reveal increased resistance to bleaching across the Caribbean during the fatal heat wave of 2023

“”[… Y]oung corals bred for restoration are a lot more resistant to bleaching under extreme levels of heat stress than the prevailing corals on the reef." [… Unlike with the previous propagation strategy, fragmentation, e]very time a population reproduces, new offspring receive newly mixed sets of genes through recombination, making them different from their parent colonies and thus enabling adaptation.”

4. Habitat Management Helps At-Risk Butterflies

“For a number of at-risk butterflies in the United States, habitat management can play an important role in keeping them from going extinct. [… “In] places where people are actively engaged with ways to manage the habitat, the butterflies are doing the best,” said Cheryl Schultz, a professor of conservation biology at Washington State University[….]”

5. Study: Protecting the ocean helps fight malnutrition

“[The study] found that fish catches in coral reefs could increase by up to 20 percent by expanding sustainable-use marine protected areas — that is, areas where some fishing is allowed with restrictions[, … and] that sustainable-use marine protected areas have on average 15 percent more fish biomass than non-protected areas. […] “Allowing regulated fishing in marine protected areas can support healthy fish populations, while also having a positive impact on the quality of life of surrounding communities.””

6. [FWS] Advances Effort to Create Urban Conservation Footprint in Tucson

““We want to continue to work together to create an urban footprint to improve access to nature, conserve habitats, and improve air and water quality.” […] The area provides habitat for several federally listed species, including southwestern willow flycatcher, western yellow-billed cuckoo, and Mexican garter snake. If protected, the area will also help connect critical habitat for jaguar and Chiracahua leopard frog.”

7. ‘Exciting’ solar breakthrough means energy can be kept in sustainable batteries that don’t overheat

“The technology is based on a specially designed molecule of carbon, hydrogen and nitrogen that changes shape when it comes into contact with sunlight. These are common elements - providing an alternative to other technologies relying on scarce materials like lithium. […] A unique feature of the system is that the molecules also provide cooling in the photovoltaic cell[, which can store solar energy “for up to 18 years.”]”

8. Sea turtles make big comeback on sandy beaches at 2 British military bases in Cyprus

“[… The] number of nests surpass[ed] last year’s record count by nearly 25%, environmentalists said Tuesday. […] “The steep increase in turtle nests has been the result of a consistent, systematic ‘hands-off’ approach, together with enforcement efforts to minimize illegal, damaging activities on nesting beaches[….” D]aily patrols by volunteers ensure that aluminum cages set atop the nests remain in place to protect the turtles from predators like foxes and dogs.”

9. First ever photograph of rare bird species New Britain Goshawk

“The last documented scientific record of the bird is from 1969[….] Working closely with [“the Indigenous Mengen and Mamusi peoples”], WWF hopes to support local stewardship to safeguard the future of these incredible biodiversity hotspots through community-led conservation.”

10. Hospitals begin offering breakthrough radiation therapy for metastatic cancer tumors

“[First,] a patient is injected with a radioactive glucose (or sugar) tracer. The machine picks up the tracer in real time and in bright colors, [… then] reads a signal from the cancer cells breaking down the tracer. [… “The] machine is automatically and autonomously reacting and responding to those signals by shooting radiation back to their source[….]””

September 8-14 news here | (all credit for images and written material can be found at the source linked; I don’t claim credit for anything but curating.)

[0w0tsuki]

"Not all Sissys are cis men. Some of them are trans women reclaiming the term"

Okay so 99 percent of sissies are cis men. Happy now?

Like I'm sorry but the theoretical "Trans girl who self IDs as a Sissy but as reclamation and not because she has been convinced that her existence is a fetish." is a fucking unicorn when compared to the sheer MASS of transmisoginistic cis men. They are a drop in the ocean. It is a DAILY routine to check my notes on my alternate kink account and sort through all the cissies blatantly ignoring my dnis. And they are ALL THE SAME. At least half my daily notes are from these blogs. Sometimes it's ALL the notes. You want to know throughout over a decade I've spent being in kink spaces where sissies are unavoidable, just how many sissy creators treated transfemininity with any sort of respect and weren't rooted in the "failed man" transmisogynistic stereotype?

One.

Not a handful. Not single digits. One. I'm sure there's more out there. I'm sure there are some self id sissy trans women who are great. But to find them? It's like putting your hand in a barrel full of needles in hopes of finding a strand of straw.

And I just love how these specific trans women are worth just ignoring all the damage that sissies do to transfems as a whole. How they operate in spaces where transfem eggs who are discovering their gender at the same time they're discovering themselves sexually and are at a very vulnerable position. Like y'all say your talking with experience but you didn't seem to be very affected by it.

Like it doesn't seem like it delayed your transition for years because you were made to believe your gender identity was sex pervert. I bet it didn't make you turn away relationships and feel guilty about developing crushes because you felt that a relationship with you would be a disservice.

But no those traumatized bitches are just pickme gatekeepers.

I just don't want people associating me with them and referring to the group as a whole TMA when as a whole it's one of the most dangerous communities for transfems.

[hydrogenperfoxide]

i wish people would tell me when they don't like me and why so that I don't wonder why i'm struggling so hard to connect but keep trying because I want to be their friend.

like I've been trying to be friends with this person for years now only to just now find out through someone else that it's cause she doesn't like that I talk about stuff she doesn't find interesting and don't stay on topic but like I can change topics, i am capable she just NEVER told me that this bothered her

[love-of-the-red-star]

That time I got reincarnated as an Aeon

(Series)

Chapter five: Discovery Channel (In which you find out you have fans)

Warnings: Idk sort of Hi3 lore spoilers? Void Archives is his own warning

Why the hell did you even bother to think you could fix the absolute red flag that’s the divine key sitting on the chair next to your bed?

The more the Kirschtaria look alike spoke, the more you were convinced he should have been booted off the train. Too bad you couldn’t let your intrusive thoughts win in the meantime— Welt doesn’t know just how worse this guy could get, shared goal be damned.

“Okay so uhh, you were with Welt to fight a bunch of people in the sky right?” You said, trying to go along with whatever the fuck he was saying— it wasn’t like you didn’t know what they were doing beforehand, but it was easier to pretend you didn’t know shit.

“Yes, and we were in luck because Himeko had saved us.” He said, smiling. For a moment you would have been utterly bamboozled but you knew better.

You thanked your new brain that functioned as fast as a supercomputer, because you knew everyone in this train would be dead meat if you were slow.

“I see… that’s good to know she managed to get to you in the nick of time then.” You told him with a light hearted laugh, you swore that the more he looked at you, the more suspicious he became. If you were going to kick this man off the train it would have to be a vote of majority, but since he wasn’t acting up just yet you were going to postpone that meeting.

He was still on your watchlist, though.

Void Archives opened a bottle of expensive looking whiskey and poured it on a cup, and then another, and handed one to you.

“A toast.” He said, but you heard “An offering of friendship”. It was at least good to know he knew he shouldn’t fuck around with you.

You accepted the glass, drank it and grimaced.

“Not a fan I see.” He shook his head as if to mourn your lack of taste in the finer things in life. But what would he know? He’s a cube.

“I don’t like it, but I can drink it.” The taste of the whiskey burned in your throat. “Tastes a little funny though.” You murmured, Void Archives didn’t react much to your statement and continued to drink til he emptied the bottle.

It took him an hour, but at least the empty bottle signified he overstayed his welcome in your room.

“Let us meet again tomorrow morning, I want to speak with you soon.” He told you before he left.

Good grief, what a creep.

———————————

You never did end up speaking to him, instead heading towards Welt Yang, who you want to vaguely warn.

“I know you knew Void longer than you know me,” you began, but you already know Welt was more likely to believe you than the cube. “But keep an eye on him, he gives me a bad feeling.” Plant the seed of doubt, slowly but surely, so that the damage to the express can be minimized.

“I’ll.. keep that in mind.” Welt inhaled, stiffly nodding at your words as you patted him on the back.

“Great! Also, if things come down to it, you have my say in kicking him off this train.” You grinned, waving before disintegrating into particles as you returned to your original body.

Famous last words to be spoken.

Because five years later, on a Christmas Eve of all occasions, shit happened. And Void Archives was booted off the train like the red Amogus on a community vote.

Was it chaotic? Yes. Was it like a court hearing than an actual community vote? Also yes.

You had plenty of evidence presented, including the first instance you invited him to your room— because what do you know, the whiskey he gave you was drugged.

He did plenty of horrible shit, and even Himeko, poor patient Himeko, had enough.

You felt a little bad for Welt though having to deal with the aftermath, needless to say, everyone, except you, needed therapy on that train.

On the upside, someone better did replace the blonde and that was Dan Heng who joined you a few weeks before Void Archives was booted off the express.

“Well,” you blinked. “That was something.” You said out loud as Dan Heng shook his head. “Sorry you had to meet that guy.”

Dan Heng brushed it off, instead focusing on staring at the Christmas dinner that Pompom prepared for everyone and poked the turkey on his plate with a fork, before properly digging in.

It wasn’t exactly an ideal way to start your holidays and welcoming someone in the crew properly in a celebration, but you supposed it’d have to do.

It was at least one less toxic bitch off the train.

——————

You didn’t expect you’d deal with your own information being displayed in the databank though. Dan Heng wasn’t creepy about it at least, not that he knew you were an Aeon— specifically, the Aeon that ate Akivili (you still feel bad about that).

“Libertas, huh.” You let out a snort as you read your own little book. In there, it was written on how you were discovered, and what you stood for, along with a group that eventually became your followers.

You hummed, thinking it was rather endearing to see the Avgin there as some of your believers. It was interesting on how you got a following, no matter how small, in the few decades you existed in this world.

It wasn’t just the Avgin, there were others who you did not know too who believed in you, and others who you did see when you had peered into planets to see what people were up to.

It was sweet in a way, for them to cling to you for belief as they sought true happiness in the way of freeing themselves and others.

You wanted to keep it that way.

You read into the pages more, finding out what kind of worship people dedicated to your path; there was a statue of you in one city in some planet hundreds of light years away, in another planet there was you in a tapestry, in another you had a statue and a painting inside of a massive church akin to the ones you saw in photos of Rome.

It was a little overwhelming, and you felt a little shy at the recent discovery of all of this.

You closed the book and put it back on its shelf, exiting Dan Heng’s room to ask Pompom for tea after helping them with their chores.

—————————

Unbeknownst to you, Dan Heng knew you were an Aeon— and an Aeon he believed in in some way when he had heard of you in the whispers of the guards in the recent years he’s stayed in the Shackling Prison. It wasn’t exactly difficult to piece things together with the context clues around the place, not to mention, Himeko did end up telling him.

You wouldn’t be angry about it, she said to him. You were apparently rather human-like, and kind.

Himeko wasn’t wrong, and Dan Heng was going to trust that judgement. Is he wary? Yes, you’re an Aeon after all, you were plenty big of a deal.

But Pompom didn’t seem to be scared of you, and Welt spoke to you with a sense of respect. You regarded everyone in this train with a certain familiarity— Dan Heng did feel like you were a bit strange due to the feeling of “uncanny valley” you gave him, but you were kind to him and you were welcoming.

He was welcome in this place, he had a place to stay, and a purpose, as meager as it was.

Dan Heng thinks things would be alright from now on.

————————

Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI (HERE), Part VII……

Yeeeee this took a bit!!! Thanks for the wait yall, I know it’s calm rn, but it’ll get rowdy again at some point I promise.

[joonsmagicshop]

Period Sex with Tae

Summary: When your period comes unexpectedly and the cramps are unbearable Taehyung takes you in the shower to help with the pain. You know what also helps with period pain...orgasms

Paring: Taehyung/Reader (The other members are very minor characters)

Work Count: 5.5K

Rating: M/18+

Tags: smut, shower sex, period sex, he uses the pull out method but please be safe, sweet boyfriend Taehyung, smut with little plot, hand jobs, fingering, sex without protection, dirty talk, Tae gives reader so much praise, fluffy haired Tae my love, reader is on her period but blood isn't mentioned too much, pad users unite

Authors Note: Blame Taehyung and those shirtless pictures he posted he is a meance and I love him (Also I may be back in my taetae era stay tuned cause who knows)

To say this had been one hell of a week was a gross understatement, it almost seemed like everything that could go wrong did go wrong.

Monday, you walked out to your garage and noticed your car had a flat tire. Taehyung had already gone to work for the day so you sighed and called a cab to take you to work, which had you showing up twenty minutes late

Tuesday, you brought your car in to get the flat tire fixed and it turns out there was more wrong with your vehicle than you thought so they had to keep it overnight.

Wednesday it was finally fixed! And while you were elated to have a vehicle again, the four hundred-dollar bill made you want to cry.

Thursday, you finally felt like you got your bearings on the week, and just as you were about to enter an important meeting at work one of the interns bumped into you sending your coffee splashing all over your shirt.

But it was Friday now and you were excited for the weekend where you could do absolutely nothing and just relax.

Taehyung also had this weekend off and the two of you had plans to sit on the couch and cuddle and watch movies all weekend long. He had been so busy with work and you had been so busy with your own work that alone time had been scarce and you longed to be back in his embrace again.

As you woke up you noticed his side of the bed was already empty and you remembered him saying last night how he had a very busy and very long Friday ahead.

You slowly swung your legs out of bed and stretched in the morning sunshine when you felt it. The slick feeling between your legs had nothing to do with being turned on. You ripped the blankets off and stared between your legs where it seemed your period had started sometime in the night.

This was a week from hell and it was only going to get worse.

You hobbled to the bathroom to get cleaned up groaning to yourself as you did so, deciding the easiest way would be to take a quick shower to rinse yourself off.

Making your way back to the bedroom you changed the sheets, pleased to see there was very minimal damage but wanting to wash them anyway as you threw them in the washer and got ready for your day.

While you ate your breakfast your fingers hovered over your text message chain with Taehyung and you bit your lip. He always wanted to be the first to know when you got your period and usually, you did tell him but you knew he had a busy day ahead and you didn’t want to stress him out with something that happens to you every single month.

You quickly packed a lunch, placed the soiled sheets in the dryer, and left for the day.

By the time you got into your car at the end of the eight-hour workday, you were done. Done with this week. Done with this day. Done with your coworkers and your boss. You just really wanted to be at home with Taehyung. He always knew how to make these crappy days better.

You drove through your subdivision and sighed as huge droplets of rain began to hit your windshield and cascade down it. The sky had been dark and gloomy all afternoon but of course, when you are driving home, the sky decides to open up.

You turn down the road that leads to your gated community and press your small black swipe card to the sensor to open the gate.

The storm is picking up speed and you pray that you can get inside before it really starts to rain. You speed home but when you see the driveway you nearly cry out in frustration.

Other cars are parked there which means you have to park on the road. Other cars mean Taehyung has company and you know it is all the boys by the three giant nondescript black vehicles taking up your entire driveway.

You throw your car in park and rest your head on the steering wheel trying to calm yourself. It wasn’t Tae’s fault, he had no idea how you were feeling but it was still frustrating to know you had to come home after a very long week and entertain guests you didn’t know would be there.

Your cramps were starting to come on strong and all you wanted to do was curl up in the baggiest clothes you owned and take the longest sleep you could.

Instead, you put on your brave face and got out of the car. The rain was coming down heavier as you made your way up the driveway and into the house.

The noise was at an all-time high when you walked in and nearly tripped on the fourteen pairs of shoes that were littered in the entryway.

“Not like that!”

“Namjoon you know you aren’t even allowed to step foot in the kitchen!”

“Tae come help us with your TV!”

“Jin you wanted to help so grab a cutting board and help!”

“Taeeeeeeeee”

You gazed around and wondered for a quick second if you should just hop in your car and spend the night somewhere else when you were spotted by Jimin who was making his way from the kitchen to the living room.

He must have seen the look on your face or sensed the tiredness and frustration radiating off of you because he quickly said “Oh hey. Y/N.” in a very timid manner as you quietly kicked off your heels and your boyfriend Taehyung raced over to join you at the door.

“Hello, my love!” He sang as he wrapped his arms around you and instinctively you buried your head in his shoulder, taking in his scent and warmth and feeling much calmer.

“What’s going on?” You asked trying to keep your voice low, which didn’t matter as the volume in the house got louder.

“We got done work about twenty minutes ago and Yoongi wanted to watch a basketball game so I invited them over! Yoongi and Jin are making dinner!” He exclaims eyes wide and excited.

You try to put on your happiest face to match his excitement but he has been with you long enough to be able to read you.

“What’s wrong? I’m sorry I didn’t ask you… I just assumed it was okay. We have them over all the time.” Taehyung said as his hands came to your cheeks to keep your gaze locked on his.

“Tae it’s not your fault at all. It’s me. I had a bad week then got my period this morning and I’m just…surprised. I should have told you but I figured you had a busy day and I didn’t want you to worry about me.” You confessed as Taehyung’s eyebrows knit in concern and he leaned down to press the softest kiss to your left and right cheek as his hands stroked your hair.

“Oh Y/N if you told me I would have never invited them. I’m sorry.” He says holding your body flush against his, keeping you cradled against his chest

“It’s okay Tae. Really. I’ll be good I’m going to go upstairs and change okay.” You told him as you pulled away from his embrace and saw the frown that was painting his beautiful features.

“Are you sure darling? I could kick them out right now and we could have the night to ourselves?” He asks as you giggle and swat his arm lightly.

“Yes, Tae we have all weekend for that. Just let me change into some comfy clothes. I’ll be right down.” You respond getting on your tiptoes to kiss his lips sweetly.

His hands wrap around your waist to hold you steady against him as you melt into the kiss. He hums appreciatively against your lips sending tingles down your body as his long fingers tangle in your hair.

“Taehyung where is your garlic masher!” Jin calls out which has you both breaking the kiss as you blush and Taehyung giggles.

“It’s called a garlic press!” Yoongi yells correcting Jin.

“I’ll help him. Meet us down here whenever you are ready.” Tae mutters against your lips.

“Don’t let them ruin my kitchen” You warn wagging a finger as Taehyung pulls away.

“We already banned Namjoon from the kitchen.” He teases with a wink as he disappears to find the elusive garlic press.

The noise died down as you closed the bedroom door and let out a sigh. You hung your purse from the closet door handle knowing you would have to actually put it away at some point but right now you were too tired to care.

You walked into the bathroom and got cleaned up, changing out your pad for a fresh one and you made your way to the walk-in closet to pick out the comfiest clothes you could find.

You settled on a pair of black sweatpants and a baggy tee shirt.

You knew you should go downstairs and greet your guests. Maybe pitch in and help Yoongi cook or help set up the game for the boys, however, your body felt like it was weighed down by heavy bricks and even the thought of walking down the stairs was exhausting to you.

You decided to lay down on the bed and scroll your phone for no more than twenty minutes, just enough time for the painkillers to kick in and for your body to hopefully regain some energy.

You curled up in a ball on Taehyung’s side of the bed, taking in the smell of him that lingered on the pillow and before you could even pull up social media to scroll you had fallen asleep clutching Tae’s pillow

You were unsure how much time you had slept for but your eyes opened when the door cracked open and Taehyung was standing there staring at you with a worried expression.

“Taetae!” You cooed sleepily as he walked over to the side of the bed and kneeled down, the back of his hand pressing against your forehead to check for a fever.

You giggled.

“You were up here for almost forty minutes. I was worried about you.” He admitted as you smiled at him sleepily and clutched his pillow tighter.

“Sorry Tae I’m just so tired I was supposed to only be here for twenty minutes…tops.” You admit as you bury your face in his pillow again. While your cramps were gone for now your lower back throbbed and you whined as you curled tighter into yourself hoping the position would relieve the ache.

“I can send them home right now. Honest. I’ve never seen you like this. I’m worried.” He whispers pressing a soft kiss to your temple as you groan.

“I’m okay just usual period stuff. Don’t send them away I know how excited you are to watch the game with them. I just… I can’t socialize right now I’m so tired Taetae I feel like my eyes will melt out of my head if I keep them open. My energy is zero I’m so sleepy.” You whimper as Taehyung takes his time pushing your hair from your face and caressing your cheeks.

He looks so beautiful kneeling next to you, his brown hair, a fluffy mess atop his head, his eyes widened in worry, his teeth biting into his lip.

“Please don’t send them away. I’m just gonna stay up here for tonight. You can tell them I’m on my period, or sick. Whatever you want.” You sigh as his fingers gently trace your features and you blush under his gaze.

“Fine but at least let me get you comfy then.” He decides as you nod and he motions for you to sit up.

He disappears to the walk-in closet and when he returns he has his arms around his back and is giving you his classic boyish grin that makes your heart pound.

“Pick a hand!” He teases as you grin and immediately pick his left hand.

“Tada!” He chuckled as he showed you the big Tata plush he had hidden behind his back. He takes his time tucking it under your arm and you immediately bury your face in its softness and smile. It smells just like him.

“Don’t you mean tata instead of tada!” You tease as he shakes his head with a smile on his face.

“A hard-working woman and a comedian… how did I get so lucky” He jokes as he doesn’t wait for you to pick his other hand, he brings it from around his back to show you the soft brown sweater he had hidden.

It is your ultimate favorite sweater he owns because when he wears it he looks like a soft cuddly teddy bear.

“Arms up.” He instructs as you do so and he helps you put on the sweater.

You feel cocooned by warmth and love for your boyfriend and you can’t help but grin as he pulls the covers back and tucks you in, making sure Tata is secure under your arm.

“Now instructions for you, get some sleep. I’ll make sure the guys don’t eat all the food and I’ll save you some leftovers. Yoongi’s food always makes anyone feel better. And you-” He says pointing at Tata. “You take care of my girl or else.”

You laugh as you bury your face into the heart-shaped Tata and Taehyung kneels down to kiss your forehead again.

“I love you so much. Get some sleep. I’ll check on you in a bit okay?” He says as you nod and even before he leaves the room you are fast asleep once again.

“Rise and shine my sleeping beauty.” a deep voice sings out as you crack open an eye to see Taehyung standing in the doorway smiling at you.

“What time is it?” You ask groggily as you try to sit up but moan when a sharp cramp shoots through your body.

“Eight at night. The boys just left.” He says coming to keel by your side again.

You rub your eyes with your fists as Tae slowly pulls Tata from your grasp and throws him on the other side of the bed.

“Tata did great.” You tease as Taehyung’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

“I’m sure he did but now it’s my turn.”

He helps you sit up and you wince as your body reminds you that you are on your period.

“C’mere to the bathroom we go. I have the shower running.” He explains as he helps you to your feet and assists you with walking to the bathroom.

The room is already full of steam and you can see that he has your fluffiest towel already set up and ready. He is the sweetest most considerate man and your heart feels like it’s glowing under your shirt as his dark eyes gaze into yours affectionately.

“I want you to look in the mirror and watch how beautiful you are while I take off your clothes.” He requests as his long fingers come to the hem of the sweater he let you borrow and he slowly and carefully pulls it over your head.

“My beautiful girl.” He praises you as he delivers a kiss to each of your shoulders before removing your baggy shirt and letting your breasts spring free.

His hands roam down your sides and you suck in a deep breath when they come to play with the strings of your sweatpants.

“Your body is divine.” He coos as his hands slowly push the fabric of the sweatpants down as you stare at your reflection in the mirror.

All his praise is making your cheeks flush and the flush is starting to spread down to your chest as you cross your arms trying to hide how much his words are affecting you.

“Don’t hide that beauty from me my darling.” He growls as he kneels on the cold tile floor and kisses each hipbone right above your underwear and you shiver.

“Please let me do the next part. I don’t want you to see.” You whisper as Tae looks up at you through his fluffy fringe and nods, getting to his feet and turning around to give you privacy.

You discard the pad and jump in the shower soon after, not wanting to mess up the floor and you hear Taehyung hastily get out of his clothes and soon enough he joins you in the shower as well.

You both take your time under the hot water, drinking in each other’s company. You shampoo your hair and rinse and while your conditioner is doing its thing Taehyung shampoos and rinses his hair.

You take turns under the spray and Taehyung even grabs the loofa and offers to clean you off. He is careful with your body as he runs the loofa down your arms and over your chest. You whine and shiver when he runs it along your nipples but he doesn’t linger long before he dips it down your stomach coating your body with sweet-smelling soap.

You try your best to stay still when he soaps up your underarms and just as he is about to soap himself, you take the loofa from him and return the favour.

You run it over his shoulders and the hard expanse of his chest and arms. You can see how much his gym sessions with Namjoon and Jungkook have been paying off as you soap up his biceps and triceps grinning when you see him flex to show off his muscles.

When you work on his armpits he brings his hands up to rake his hair back from his face and he lets out a couple of squeals and giggles as you clean him off.

By the time you are nearly finished his cock is half hard and hanging between his legs. You scoop off some of the soap from the loofa to rub on his cock and Taehyung hisses and jerks into your hand.

“S-Sorry. You are just so unbelievably beautiful. I can’t take it.” He says flustered as you jerk him a couple of times then he moves so he is now under the spray rinsing off the soap.

“I wasn’t done you know.” You tease with a raise of an eyebrow as Taehyung chuckles and raises his arms to scrape his hair back from his face again. All you see are his biceps and how his toned stomach flexs and you feel arousal pool as you take in his wet naked frame.

Water droplets are clinging to his broad shoulders and the steam from the bathroom, plus your hot naked boyfriend seems to take your breath away.

“I know… but this isn’t about me, this is about you. Now c’mere.” He says as he spins you around so the spray is running down your body and over your stomach, easing the cramps as he pushes himself into your backside and hugs you from behind.

“You’re very hard you know.” You teasingly point out as he pushes your hair from your shoulder and kisses your neck softly.

“Don’t worry about it. It should go down eventually. I tend to get hard from my alluring girlfriend and how sexy she looks all wet and naked and mine.” He says lips hot against your skin.

He pushes your body from behind so you are under the spray even more and you hiss when the hot water hits your nipples. They are always so sensitive on your period and the sensation hurts too much as you pull back.

“You okay?” Tae asks as his kisses stop but he keeps his lips hovered over your neck.

“I’m fine the spray is just a lot on my nipples. They are always so sensitive and achy when I’m on my period.” You explain.

Taehyung wastes no time in covering your nipples with his palms, protecting them from the spray as he leans you forward again and the stream runs across his hands and down your body, easing your cramps.

“I’m so lucky to have you.” You admit softly as you look down to see Taehyung’s hands cupping you softly as he continues to press kisses to your neck and shoulder.

“You are so beautiful. I could spend my entire lifetime worshiping you.” He growls against your skin as he slowly thrusts his cock into your backside and you whimper when you feel how achingly hard he is.

Without warning his hands begin to play with your breasts, he stays away from the nipple but his lithe fingers knead the sensitive skin and you look down in time to see how gorgeous his hands look as they play with your breasts.

He is still shallowly thrusting his cock into your backside but you can’t take your eyes off his hands. How his veins pop out against the tanned skin as he works you with his skilled fingers, the way his fingers are so long and lean and can cover your entire breast with ease, how his forearms flex under his movements and suddenly you are reminded of all the things he has been able to do to you with these hands and you whimper.

“Fuck Tae you-gotta stop.” You breathe out as his movements slow but he still keeps his unspoken promise of keeping your sensitive nipples out of the spray.

“Everything okay my love?” He asks, his gravelly voice sending a smothering heat down to your core making you throb.

“You are gonna make me horny- we gotta- fuck we gotta stop.” You almost plead as he pulls you harsher into the hard planes of his body and out of the spray, his fingers instantly come to tweak your nipples and you cry out his name in a broken moan as you throw your head back against his shoulder.

“What’s wrong with being horny. I’m horny. Seriously the sight of your wet, naked body. Fuck you are a divine woman. I don’t think my cock has ever been this fucking hard.” He admits as he pushes it into your backside and you can feel just how horny he is as precum smears along your lower back.

“I’m on my period we-fuck Tae we can’t.” You plead as every nerve, every fiber of your being is telling you to get some friction against your aching clit. Your nipples are so sensitive and Taehyung has only sped up his movements making words almost impossible.

Your backside is arching into his cock, your pussy is throbbing around nothing and you feel so soaked you were surprised it wasn’t running down your legs.

“I’m not going to pressure you but if we were to have period sex wouldn’t the shower be the best place?” He asks lowly in your ear as you shiver even in the heat of the shower.

You turn around to face him to see he is very serious about it and your body is ablaze with need as you take in his dark eyes.

You reach a hand down to encircle his hard cock but he quickly swats your hand away and you look up at him and frown.

“That’s not fair.” You mutter.

“Yeah, it’s not fair that I will get to cum and you won’t because you are unsure about period sex. I don’t find it gross and I’m not weirded out by blood. Please let me do this for you.” He nearly pleads.

You waste no time wrapping your arms around his strong shoulders and bringing him in for a searing kiss. His hard cock is trapped between your slippery bodies and he moans when he feels your soft stomach press into his heated cockhead making it leak more precum that ends up smeared along your lower stomach.

The kiss is all fire and passion and when you reach a hand down to finally circle his cock he moans against your lips and you smile when he throbs in your hand.

You jerk him off, flicking your wrist at the top just the way he likes it and Taehyung is a moaning whining mess above you.

“It feels too good. You gotta slow down.” He begs as you loosen your fist but keep stroking him, loving the feeling of his hard shaft against your palm and how he becomes so wet when you run your thumb over the head of his flushed cock.

You break away from the kiss and Taehyung dips a hand into your center and you freeze, eyes wide and panicked as you stare up at him.

“Sorry just…nervous.” You say using your free hand to grab his wrist to stop him as you both take several deep breaths.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to. But honestly, it’s just blood. I’m not grossed out.” He promises as you loosen your grip and he dips a long finger into your folds.

Your eyes flutter closed and you rest your head on his chest at the sensation of him running a finger up and down your center. He takes his time with you as if you were a beautiful piece of art he wanted to savor and when he finally circles your clit you cry out against his chest.

“I got you baby. Let me take care of you.” He mutters against your wet hair as you release his cock to hold onto his shoulders to keep yourself upright.

Taehyung hums in appreciation as he slowly circles your clit and you spread your legs wider for him. The sensation is unreal as you have never been this sensitive before in your life.

Taehyung dips a finger in and for a moment you wince in worry he will pull away and be disgusted, but he sticks to his promise and curls his finger up to hit that spot inside of you that makes you cry out his name.

While Tae works you open with one hand, the other comes around your body to hold you flush against him. He presses soft kisses to the crown of your head and when he adds another finger your knees buckle, and without missing a beat he grips you tighter.

“I got you my love. My most beautiful treasure. Let go, baby. Let go and cum all over my fingers.” He growls and without warning you do so. You feel your body spasm and if it wasn’t for his strong arm holding you up you were sure you would have fallen to the floor.

Your toes curl against the tile as you cum and Tae whispers praises in your ear as you ride out your high.

By the time you come down, you feel much better, and when he pulls away to stare at you you can’t help but kiss him and thank him over and over again.

Taehyung laughs against your mouth as you are a babbling mess of chanting his name and chanting thank yous as you kiss him harshly pouring all your love you have for him out into this kiss.

“Don’t thank me yet, I’m not done with you yet babe. Turn around.” He says with a soft smack to your ass as you do so and brace your hands on the cold tiled wall.

He grabs at his hard cock and runs in through your soaked folds staring at the water running down your back and down your perfect ass cheeks.

You look back to watch him take in your body and you blush under his fiery gaze when his eyes lock onto yours.

“Please Tae.” You beg even though you already had one orgasm it didn’t feel like enough and your body was aching for more as you pushed back into him desperate to get him to fill you up.

You were craving the feeling of his big cock stretching you out and you kept pushing back against him in hopes he would get the hint and slip inside.

“I’m going to be honest I don’t know how long I’m going to last. You were so tight and wet around my fingers I almost came just from fingering you.” He admits with a shy smile as you push back again against his cock impatience getting the best of you.

“Don’t care. Need you to fuck me.” You whine as he chuckles and lines his cockhead up with your entrance.

Taehyung slips in with ease but you groan when you feel how much he is stretching you out and the burn is unbearable as he slowly inches inside.

“Why are you so fucking big.” You cry out when he finally bottoms out and traces small circles on your hips.

“Fuck the way your pussy is squeezing me. F-Fuck you are so tight and wet. Why didn’t we do this sooner? Your pussy is the best cockring I’ll ever have” He growls as you squeeze your eyes shut from the sheer fullness of him.

“I’m not gonna last long, holy fuck baby your pussy is milking my cock already and I haven’t even moved.” He frets as his hands come to knead at your ass and you slowly circle your hips trying to get your body to adjust.

“You are so big Taehyung holy fuck you are gonna rip me in half.” You whine as you slowly rock yourself back and forth on his cock and Taehyung is gritting his teeth and doing everything in his power not to cum all over you within twenty seconds of entering you.

“You are going to squeeze every last drop of cum I have out of my cock. Relax baby. Big deep breaths.” He almost begs as he hauls you up so your back is flushed against his front and he uses his big hands to play with your nipples.

The way his hands were tantalizingly dancing across your breasts and nipples had you moaning out his name and thrusting back against his cock. The sting was overpowered by a sense of fiery need and he quickly got the hint and began to thrust up into you with force.

You splayed your hands out against the tiles to stop yourself from falling forward as Taehyung thrust deep inside of your body, growling against your ear and letting his fingers flick and play with your nipples in such a way it turned your body to puddy.

“Baby I want to fuck you all night long but I can’t… seriously your pussy is so warm and sh-shit so wet.” He growls out picking up speed and making you cry out his name as you move your hips to meet his thrust.

The pleasure is overpowering, it is aflame and you are burning up as you feel your stomach clench and your body swim with desire.

“C-Close.” You cry out as Taehyung tweaks your nipple and you cum around his cock. Moaning his name and arching your back as your walls clamp down and Taehyung grits his teeth not wanting to cum inside of your body as he lets you ride out your high.

Your hands are slipping along the tiles and you nearly fall forward as your legs give out but Taehyung catches you and pulls his cock out, eyes wild with desperation as you take the hint and sink to your knees.

“Cum on my face Tae. Paint me a pretty picture all over my face.” You whine as his fingers grip his cock and he begins to stroke it frantically.

You kneel on the floor with your tongue open and you flutter your eyelashes at him as he works his cock. All it takes is for you to cup your breasts in your small hands and push them together for Taehyung to lose it.

He moans loudly and his cock spurts cum all over your lips and cheeks. You sigh in ecstasy as Taehyung continues to jerk his throbbing cock which has more cum falling from it and this time it falls right into your open mouth.

You swallow whatever you can and when he comes down from his high he stares at you in utter disbelief as you get up off the ground to rinse the cum from your cheeks, chin, and neck.

“Holy fuck. Holy fucking shit that was so hot. Fuck.” He mutters under his breath as you turn to face him and you wrap your arms around him leaning your head on his chest and smiling when you can hear how fast his heart is beating.

“Thank you Taetae.” You whisper as you lift your head and his hands come up to cup your cheeks.

“If anything I should be thanking you. That was the hottest thing I have ever seen holy shit.”

You giggle and finally turn off the water as you step out of the shower and dry off.

“Our water bill is going to be insane this month.” You tease as Taehyung finally seems to get his bearings and he steps out of the shower as well.

“Oh, it will be! You can bet your ass we are doing that at least six more times before your period is over.” He teases eye gleaming as you shake your head and swat him with the towel.

Permanent taglist

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[reasonsforhope]

"Sunlight dapples the once-denuded forest floor as saplings spread their branches and leaves overhead, slowly forming a lush canopy.

Beside each young tree, a sign notes its species. Lupuna, says one, the colloquial Peruvian term, and below that its scientific name, Ceiba pentandra — in other words, a kapok tree, known for its cotton-like fibers. Huito, says another sign, or Geinpa americana, which produces edible gray berries.

Each sapling is distinct, a reflection of the Amazon's stunning biodiversity, with so many different species that you might go acres without finding a repeat.

Yet this young forest did not spring up naturally. It has been carefully recreated by humans in an area that was, until just three years ago, a heavily contaminated moonscape.

This land was stripped of its dense vegetation by miners scouring the subsoil for tiny specks of gold, using mercury to separate the gold from the sediment. Many thought that a healthy forest would never thrive in impoverished, mercury-laden topsoil and that the piles of sandy tailings, the residue from the gold mining effort, and the pools of wastewater were irremediable...

"It feels good to see the forest grow back," says Pedro Ynfantes, 66, the miner whose legal mining concession of 1,110 acres includes this 10-acre patch of land where this young forest is located. "We don't want to deforest. When we had the opportunity to let the forest grow back, we took it. It's much better this way."

The opportunity he refers to came via U.S. nonprofit Pure Earth, which works with communities across the Global Southto remediate environmental problems left behind by mining, much of it illegal. Their biggest targets are mercury and lead contamination...

Security forces have launched anti-mining operations down the years, even blowing up the miners' equipment deep in the jungle. But most local politicians, including Madre de Dios' members of Peru's national congress, broadly support the miners, who are a powerful constituency in the relatively sparsely populated jungle region.

Restoring the forest

Pictured: France Cabanillas works for the nonprofit group Pure Earth, which is spearheading an effort to plant saplings in areas of the Peruvian Amazon that were devastated by illegal gold mining.

Now there's an effort to address the damage. Initially working with the region's legal miners, most of whom were here before the 2009 gold rush kicked off, the nonprofit group Pure Earth is using this patch of Ynfantes' land as a pilot project to show how the rainforest can be regenerated after the last traces of gold have been plucked from the soil.

It took a sustained outreach effort. Many miners are wary of or even downright hostile to foreign NGOs, which have repeatedly called for gold mining to be banned or severely curbed in the Peruvian Amazon — steps they say would cost them their livelihood.

"I am feeling optimistic," says France Cabanillas, Pure Earth's local coordinator, who has been appealing to the frustration of many miners at the heavy toll they have taken on the jungle and their desire to minimize their environmental footprint for the next generation.

"We still have a lot to do but this pilot is going well. Down the years, the miners have been getting a lot of stick but not much carrot when it comes to their environmental impacts," says Cabanillas. "We are offering them a carrot, allowing them to remediate their own impacts. Many of the miners do not want to be destroying the rainforest."

Before the miners plant the carefully-selected mix of tree species, they had to prepare the earth. Most of the topsoil had been washed away by the miners' heavy use of hoses.

That preparation involved adding biochar (burnt organic material) and even molasses, which contain fixed carbon and minerals, along with various other nutrients. The miners also had to dig tiny moats around the saplings to prevent all of this new planting from being washed away. Now, after three years, the forest is visibly coming back.

The rejuvenated rainforest also mitigates the impact of the mercury used by many of the illegal miners.

Research done by Pure Earth shows that the barren, sandy soil emits mercury. But in a rainforest, the ecosystem actually absorbs some of the metal, boosting public health."

-via NPR, April 2, 2024

[objectumnonsense]

robot oneshot, as requested VwV

The lab was dark, save for the dim neon light filtering in through the curtains and a singular work lamp in the corner of the room. Every few minutes, a train passed overhead, making the ceiling groan with the weight, but it was otherwise quiet. The lab's only two occupants sat without speaking, one in maintenance mode on a table and the other wearing thick, elbow-length rubber gloves and wielding a variety of delicate tools.

The Mechanic worked diligently and in near silence, save for softly humming a tune and occasionally blowing their hair out of their face while they worked on SN-0407-67. The only sounds coming from 67 were the hum of its fans and the occasional buzz of a wire being put in the wrong place, quickly corrected by the Mechanic.

After about half an hour, the Mechanic said, in a voice rough with disuse, "Exit maintenance mode," and a line of small lights blinked to life on the back of 67's neck. Its shutters flicked open and it turned its head right around to face the Mechanic.

"Is there a problem?" it buzzed.

"Well, I don't wanna catastrophize, but I'm lookin' through your lower back complex and I'm seein' some stuff that looks an awful lot like buzz bug eggs. Can you run a diagnostics check for me real quick?"

"Affirmative." In a blink of its shutters, it received data from all of its main systems and most of its secondary and tertiary programs and responded.

"Small loop errors in primary memory arrays. Minimal damage to recursive power wiring. Buzz bugs may be a possibility. Suggestion: analyze sample of offending material."

"Will do. Wanna go back to sleep?"

"Negative. We are almost done, correct?"

"If this don't turn out to be an infestation, yeah. What's got you so eager to leave?"

"Nothing. I simply do not enjoy being in maintenance mode for extended periods of time."

"Oh? Why's that?"

67 turned back around and allowed the Mechanic to pry open its back panel and delicately reach through its wiring with a pair of tweezers.

"I dislike being unaware of my surroundings for so long. It is against my purpose."

"It's necessary though, ain't it?"

"As is sleeping. But you are avoiding that now."

"Fair 'nuff."

The silence returned for a few minutes. The Mechanic extricated some pieces of material from 67's wiring and the gaps in their chassis while it sat perfectly still and nearly silent.

Abruptly, a small yellow light on their shoulder lit up and they said, "Your heart rate and breathing have increased."

"Huh?"

"Are you in distress? Is the infestation worse than you expected?"

"Oh, no, nothin' like that. If this is buzz bugs, we caught 'em real early. I could probably get all of this outta you before dawn."

"That is good."

They continued without speaking for a few moments more, the yellow light still turning on and off rhythmically, before 67 spoke up again.

"Your heart rate has not decreased."

"And I suppose I can't ask you to ignore that?"

"Negative. It is against my purpose."

"Right. First aid robot."

The Mechanic pursed their lips and tried to continue their work, but 67 kept talking.

"You hands are shaking slightly. Allow me to check your blood sugar content."

Before the Mechanic could respond, 67 had already completed the check.

"Blood sugar content within healthy range. Brain scan indicates higher than normal levels of oxytocin. Heart rate and breathing rate are increased, but have plateaued."

"Can't keep anythin' secret from you, huh?"

"Negative. You have poor control over your responses to emotion."

"Well, can't say I didn't try."

"Correct. You are still avoiding telling me the reason for your heightened emotional state."

"Would it hurt so bad to let this one go unmentioned?"

"A key to maintaining healthy relationships is communication between constituents. I am curious why you are acting differently."

"It's... complicated. It's a human thing."

"Mechanic, "human things" are my area of expertise. I will understand whatever you tell me."

"I just..." They sighed, but set their tweezers aside and brushed their fingers along a piece of 67's circuitry. "Can you feel this? When I'm workin' on you?"

"To an extent, yes."

"And does it... hurt?"

"Not unless something is damaged. It feels almost the same as when my exterior is touched."

"Almost?"

"There is a level of... trust involved. I trust that you will not break me, you trust that I will not close myself or shock you to injure you."

"When I do this..." the Mechanic traced the column of 67's spine with their index finger, "what is that like?"

"I fail to see why you are asking me again. Did I not just explain it?"

"I know, I know, just.. tell me what you feel me doin'."

"Alright."

A moment's pause.

"I feel you touching the outer shell of my spine. It holds much of my central processing power, which is why it's covered by thick metal plating. But I know you will not try to damage it."

"And now?"

"Now you're moving towards my power cell. It's a very powerful battery, and very fragile. But you will not damage it."

"Now?"

"You're reaching up through my chest cavity towards my transform arrays. This is where most of my proprioceptive senses are processed. It's also highly sensitive to touch. But you will not damage it."

The Mechanic let out a shaky sigh. The blinking yellow light on 67's shoulder began flashing more quickly. They noticed it was in time with their heartbeat.

"Your breathing and heart rate have increased steadily. Is there something you aren't telling me?"

They abruptly pulled their hand out of 67's back and stammered an apology.

"Sorry, I'm - sorry, that - that was kinda weird. I shouldn'ta -"

"It was not unpleasant."

Their words ground to a halt and they stared at the back of 67's head.

"You... motherfucker, you knew this whole time, didn't you?"

67 made a beep that sounded like a laugh.

"Negative. I only realized when I scanned you."

The Mechanic leaned their head against 67's shoulder with a clunk.

"And I couldn't get you to delete this whole interaction from your memories?"

"Negative."

The Mechanic sighed again and leaned back, rubbing their temples.

"Well, that's about it for your checkup anyways. We should probably get goin'."

"Mechanic, I would not refuse if you wanted to take this further."

The Mechanic froze. "Whuh?"

"I do not have the capacity to feel it the same way you do. But I understand it would be enjoyable for you. My purpose, after all, is to ease suffering."

"Wh - but - I - I'm not sufferin' about it, I just -"

"Mechanic."

67 rose and walked around the table, standing very close to the Mechanic and resting a careful hand on their hip. They swallowed thickly.

"We are the only ones in here. We have time."

The Mechanic let out a nervous, breathy chuckle. They raised a hand to 67's face plate and brushed their thumb along it.

"You're amazin', you know that? Just... incredible."

"I know," 67 replied, a playful lilt in its voice. "Tell me if you want me to stop at any point."

"Alright."

67 stepped even closer so that one of its legs was between both of the Mechanic's and they had to lean back against the table. One of their hands rested on 67's shoulder and the other settled on its hip.

67 hooked a thumb over the Mechanic's waistband and tugged down. Its other hand worked its way up their shirt and cupped their chest. It leaned its head down and bonked it gently on the top of theirs.

"Was that supposed to be a kiss?"

"Affirmative."

"You're such a dork."

67 hummed. Its movements remained smooth and steady, but the Mechanic distinctly heard its cooling fans pick up when it tugged their underwear aside.

"Could it be you're enjoyin' this too, 67?" they purred, lifting the hand that was on its shoulder to the back of its head, where they brushed over some of the exposed wires there. Its lower shutter twitched upwards.

"You do look... very nice. Under me like this."

"Mmm. Kinky." They spread their legs further and gasped when 67's searching hands found their bare skin.

"Are you alright?"

"Y-yeah. It's just been a while. Go slow."

"Understood."

Gently, 67 started working its hand, and the Mechanic let out a quiet groan. They rolled their hips into 67's touch, grip tightening on its neck and making its shutter twitch again.

"Is - fuck - is that hurtin' you?" they asked.

"Negative."

"Want me to - to stop?"

"Nnegative."

At the stalling of 67's voice, the Mechanic raised an eyebrow. "Is it gettin' you off or s-something?

"N N N N - Unsure. My proproprocessor has encountered an error."

Experimentally, the Mechanic chose a wire and tugged on it - not enough to break it, but with enough force to pull it partially out of line. 67 jolted forward, making a buzzing sound the Mechanic had never heard before, and its hand dug harshly into their flesh, making them gasp.

"Arrre you alright?" it asked, stopping all motion. The Mechanic whined and pushed against its hand.

"Don't stop," they pleaded.

"One moment. I nnneed to check -"

The Mechanic tugged on the same wire again, creating the same reaction, and sighed with satisfaction.

"Memememechanic," 67 scolded, though the effect was somewhat lost due to the skipping in its voice.

"Keep goin'. I didn't tell you to stop."

"Make me."

The defiance caught the Mechanic off guard, but only for a moment. They glared up at 67.

"Y'know, you're real disobedient for a robot," they growled, finding a different wire and wrapping it around their finger. 67's shutters closed completely this time, its entire body jerking randomly for a moment before the Mechanic let the wire go again. "I thought you were s'posed to follow directions?"

"Youyouyou haven't said the magic word yet," 67 replied, though their hand had begun to move again.

"Make me cum, 67. That's an order."

"Affirmativvve."

The Mechanic cried out at the dizzying pace 67 suddenly set, hips rocking helplessly into its touch. Its name flowed from their lips like a hymn. 67 bore down on them, chest pressed to theirs, free hand supporting their back so they didn't fall.

"Yesyesyesyes, just like that, yes -!"

With a drawn-out moan, the Mechanic came hard, slumping back so that 67 had to adjust its hold on them, completely at its mercy as it kept up the harsh pace of its hand. It slowed to a stop the moment the feeling became too much and their groans of pleasure turned into whimpers.

The pair stayed like that for a moment, the Mechanic struggling to catch their breath and clinging to 67, whose fans were still going at top speed. It stared adoringly down at them, privately recording a short clip to replay later.

"Holy shit," the Mechanic finally breathed, pushing themself upward off of 67's arm. "That was... wow."

"I trust you enjoyed yourself?"

"Yeah. Jesus Christ. Are you... can I - is there anythin' I can do for you?"

"Negative. No part of me can experience anything close to sexual arousal, but I appreciate the consideration."

"So, just outta curiosity, what were the wires doin' to ya?"

That gave 67 pause.

"I'm... unsure. It's not a sensation I've ever felt before."

"Was it bad?"

"Negative. It was... novel. I'm not sure what to make of it."

"So what... would it be okay if I did it again?"

Another pause.

"...Affirmative. Please be careful."

"You know careful's my middle name."

The Mechanic lifted both of their hands and rested them on 67's neck. One slid its fingers over the exposed wires, still slightly out of place, making 67 beep and twitch.

"Why don't you try tellin' me what you feel?" they purred, finding a wire and winding it around their finger. 67 took a moment to respond, its voicebox making nonsense sounds before it could gather it to something intelligible.

"I I I I feel... dizzzzy? I think that wiwiwire has a role in proprioceptive data transfer. It's hard to to to to rrrecall at the moment."

"Mmm. And what about now?" the Mechanic asked, parting the wires and reaching deeper into 67's neck. They felt their finger make contact with cool metal, and 67 made a long, low tone until they lifted it.

"My my my my my centrrrral spinal casinnnnng. It's very sensensensitive to touch, which is is is why it's underrrrneath everything ellllse."

"You're startin' to sound pretty rough, 67."

"Hard to to to prrrocess speech at the momoment. Unsure how to parrrrse sensory dadadadata."

"Still don't want me to stop?"

"Affirrrmative. Want you you you touch furrrrther in me."

"Fuck, that's hot."

The Mechanic moved upward this time, under the plating on the back of 67's head with a muttered "keep your head down." 67's head briefly dropped limply downward, chin hitting its chest with a dull thunk, before the Mechanic hastily removed their hand and it looked back up at them.

"Why did you you stop?"

"That wasn't bad?"

"Negative. Want morrre."

"Oh, I see how it is." They resumed their probing, 67's head falling again, its voice struggling to express exactly what it was feeling.

"Hannnds in my in me touch ch ch ch mind feel I feel your hands," it managed, and the Mechanic bit their lip, looking up at it with adoration in their eyes.

"God, you sound fuckin' wrecked. I wish I knew I could do this to you sooner," they confessed. 67's optic flickered.

"Want want hands want touch morrre so so so much so want want want wannnnnnt -"

Abruptly, its voice dropped so low it was almost a buzz, its optic blinking out, hands in a vise grip on the Mechanic's hips while the lights on its body turned off all at once. Its fans continued on high for a moment more before they lowered to a more normal level and a noise like a dial-up played.

"Shit."

The Mechanic waited nervously while 67 rebooted, slowly releasing their hips before its optic blinked back to life, immediately zeroing in on them.

"Are you okay? Did I touch something I shouldn't've?"

"Negative. I am still processing. Please give me a moment."

After a second or two, 67 spoke again.

"Last sensation recorded before shutdown: foreign object inside cranial casing. Pressure applied to central tactile nerve. Systems overwhelmed." It blinked. "No memory lost. I am in no pain."

"So that tactile nerve thing -"

"I felt... everything. It's hard to explain."

"I think I get it. Don't worry."

"It was... good. I felt good. I would like to do this again sometime."

"Is right now a good sometime? 'Cause that was fuckin' hot."

67's optic widened slightly, disbelief creeping into its voice.

"Causing a temporary shutdown... made you aroused again?"

"It was more like making you get there. But yeah."

"Interesting. In that case..."

67 opened the maintenance panel on its chest, exposing a crisscrossing maze of wires and circuits to the Mechanic, who practically drooled.

"Help yourself to me."

[jayrockin]

I feel like this has been answered before, but how fast is space travel in runaway to the stars? Do things like FTL tech exist?

The only FTL travel is via the wormhole gate network. Gates within a certain range can connect to each other, and higher powered hub gates (usually positioned outside of systems to minimize damage from potential collapse) can connect over longer distances and also "throw" wormholes into new regions of space without a gate connection, which is usually only done to construct new gates. All ships travel STL, warp drive does not exist. Information travels via lasers to wormhole switchboards, which are sometimes positioned closer to inhabited areas because the collapse risk is less catastrophic, but communications lag is a persistent issue.

[covid-safer-hotties]

"You Have to Live Your Life:" Responses to Common COVID Minimizing Phrases - Published Aug 6, 2024

If you're still COVIDing, you've likely heard phrases, like "it's mild now," or "you have to live your life," repeated over and over. You might be wondering, "what do I even say here? How do I respond to this?" I've listed some of the most common minimizing phrases and some potential responses to them. Feel free to adapt these and make them your own. I've included a variety of responses with different tones, depending on how much you want to be #saltingthevibes.

I want to recognize you might not always have the time or emotional energy to get into these discussions. Some people unfortunately aren't engaging in good faith, so it's important to be able to discern for yourself when you want to have these conversations. You don't always have to educate people, it can be exhausting! For those times when you want to respond but are at a loss for words in the moment, here are some ideas to get you started.

Starting off with one of my (least) favorites:

"You have to live your life!"

"I am living my life. Wearing a mask doesn't stop me from living my life, it makes it possible for me to do the things I love more safely."

"I'd love to be able to get out and do more things, but unfortunately that's not safe for me because so few people are masking."

"I would be a lot harder to live my life if COVID disabled me."

"Living my life means protecting my health, in the short and long term."

"I've adapted how I live my life based on the research about all of the long term health effects of a COVID infection."

"How long are you going to keep doing this for?"

"I'll probably always wear a mask in public spaces, when you know better you do better!"

"There's no expiration date on keeping myself safe and protecting my health."

"When we've widely implemented clean air standards and there's a sterilizing vaccine for COVID, then I might update my current precautions."

"I really wish I didn't have to do this either! But given what I know about COVID and Long COVID, this is the best choice for me."

"How long are you going to keep doing this for? It seems like you're sick all the time now, it sounds really unpleasant."

"We have to live with COVID."

"I'm glad you agree the government has done a terrible job trying to mitigate the spread!"

"To me, living with COVID means doing what we can to protect ourselves, not just giving up entirely."

"We also have to live with car accidents, that's why I wear my seatbelt to protect myself."

"What if we didn't have to? What if we collectively did more to clean the air and create safer living conditions for all of us?"

"Unfortunately you're right, that's why I'll continue to mask to keep myself and my community safer."

"It's mild now/it's just a cold/flu."

"Many illnesses seem like 'just a cold/flu' when you're first infected, but can still have long term health consequences, like mono or HIV."

"You can develop Long COVID even if your initial symptoms are mild or asymptomatic."

"I'm not as worried about the initial symptoms of the acute infection, I'm more concerned about the significant risk of Long COVID."

"You're lucky your symptoms weren't very severe initially. For me, COVID was a lot worse than a cold."

"I don't want to get sick with a cold either."

"I got it X times and I'm fine!"

"I'm sorry to hear you've had so many infections. COVID can cause silent damage throughout our bodies, it might be a good idea to go in for a check up with your doctor."

"I'm glad you're feeling fine so far, but my experience has been different."

"Your risk of Long COVID increases with each infection, so I'm doing what I can to avoid getting it."

"I hear that in your experience, a COVID infection hasn't been a big deal. Unfortunately not everyone is so lucky and many are dealing with significant Long COVID symptoms."

"You're young and healthy, you'll be fine/ only the vulnerable need to worry."

"I used to think the same thing! It turns out I have some underlying risk factors that mean an infection could be very harmful to me."

"Everyone is at risk of Long COVID, and your risk increases with each infection."

"You cannot know someone's health status by looking at them. A lot of young people are high risk as well."

"I don't appreciate you making assumptions about my health status."

"Did you know more than 75% of Americans have at least one risk factor? More than 40% have two or more, and almost 20% have three or more! Being high risk is more common than you think."

"There are actually a lot of factors that can make someone high risk, like a history of smoking, depression, asthma, ADHD, and more!"

"Kids don't get COVID/it's mild for kids."

"Unfortunately many studies show that rates of Long COVID in kids is similar to the rates in adults."

"COVID is the 8th leading cause of death in children in the US."

"Kids can be high risk for COVID, like if they have asthma, ADHD, autism, diabetes, or other common health issues."

"Kids don't deserve to be repeatedly infected with an illness that we know causes long term damage."

"I'd encourage you to read some of the stories about kids with Long COVID, it's heartbreaking for them and their families."

"Long COVID is rare."

"I'm curious where you learned that, because that doesn't fit into my understanding of Long COVID."

"Studies show rates around 20% of adults infected will go on to develop Long COVID, and many studies show higher rates. Your risk increases with each infection."

"Even if you're right, I'm not willing to risk it."

"Have you noticed an increase in weird symptoms or health issues in your circle? Fatigue, headaches, GI issues, stroke, heart attack, blood clots and a ton of other issues can all be caused by a COVID infection."

"It's more common than you might think, there are over 200+ possible symptoms and it can look different in everyone."

"My doctor doesn't wear a mask."

"Yikes! How unfortunate your doctor isn't up to date on the science and isn't doing more to protect their patients."

"It's too bad how many doctors don't stay up to date with important health information."

"Doctors also used to smoke cigarettes in healthcare facilities and recommend them to patients. Just goes to show you doctors aren't always right."

"The medical field scorned the doctor who recommended they start washing their hands... I'm seeing a lot of parallels here."

"Unfortunately it can take many years for practices like these to become more mainstream."

[cage-of-atonement]

Dangerous Persecutors

The thing about persecutors is that there is a high level of nuance that systems as a community (especially the cesspool of syscord) don't talk about in a way that can help recently discovered systems navigate a healthy relationship with these alters.

In case you need to hear this; yes, some alters and persecutors are not safe for the system or responsibilities outside the system. No, some alters are not ready to work on themselves through the power of 'magic and friendship'. Some are violent towards the body or other things like animals/pets, wanting to destroy precious items or spend the system's money maliciously, or intentionally wanting to hurt people close to the system. THIS IS NOT THE SYSTEM'S FAULT OR THE COLLECTIVE ACTIONS OF THE ENTIRE SYSTEM WHEN AN ALTER DOES ACT THIS WAY. However: It is the system's responsibility in this situation is to do everything it can to control said alter's fronting or take appropriate actions to minimize this behavior/damage.

"That's not nice :(((" is going to mean nothing to them. Some will take years of help and patience to become a team member in the system, and safe to front alone.

One of our oldest members was a persecutor who did not begin his healing until almost 8 years later. It was not until his actions led to him losing the most important person and the only thing he cared about for him to finally be ready to listen and see his faults. And for some alters it will unfortunately be the only way to get off that path and listen.

This alter is not a bad person for how they formed; it is so important to remember that alters form as they are for a reason, and persecutors are most often doing things or believing fully their actions are the right ones, for the system's well-being or their own. And while you need to keep your system safe, you also have to have that patience and system teamwork extended to the struggling alter. In extreme cases, professional help is most often what is needed, especially when they pose a physical threat to others or the body.

They may spit in your face, and threaten that the second they are free they will do horrible things. But It is going to take a combination of both listening to this alter and granting them humanity, while also protecting yourself and people who are at risk of these alter's actions.

[cdroloisms]

thinking about c!dream earlier on in the server just makes me sad man. like, c!dream has never been a perfect character. he's always been flawed, always been a bit of an asshole, always had control issues. but also he knew that. he tried to work on that. he and tommy were friends, despite being flawed people with their own issues that would bump into conflicts because of the ways that they differed. c!dream tried, god, he tried; he wasn't even on the server, when the drug van happened, and walked into a place with someone who was practically a stranger to him building a wall and calling for war and having turned half the people dream knew against him, apparently, for no reason that he could've known at the time, and he had looked straight at tommy and tubbo and asked if that was what they really wanted when wilbur told them that there was no such thing as dual citizenship. he tells tommy when he has to sell a disc for spirit's leather even though tommy had surrendered the discs to him at the end of the revolution because he knows it'll matter to him. he and tommy truce, multiple times, and c!dream gets tangled into conflicts that literally don't involve him repeatedly and gets targeted Because He's Dream repeatedly and he plays along with that trivia contest and he gives gifts to fundy and tommy after terrorizing them a little for fun and he plays along with the dreamon thing and he keeps getting pulled into fights that weren't his but tries to make them a little more fair when they get him involved. he fucks around with tommy and they have fun, they're friends, and when he and wilbur look like they're in danger dream is one of the first to find them and lend them real, practical, valuable aid. he calls himself "Big D" in that book and he tells the man that wrote him as a tyrant that he doesn't want to be a villain in the story anymore. he asks tommy if he's okay, and watches that kid's back when he walks alone and unarmed into manberg, and fights with him at the battle of the lake and all of that is thrown back in his face as being a lie. half the intial community structures that exist were built by him; the community house, the nether portal and hub, the prime path. during a time where every other piece of leverage got burned or killed (rip the casualties of the pet war), dream was kind of known for being one that could be fairly traded with, that would minimize permanent damage. the kills in the final control room were originally to strip lmanburg of their gear, which he had kept in a chest so it could be returned to them after the war.

like no c!dream isn't perfect at the beginning of the server. yes he's kind of a jerk sometimes, kind of an asshole sometimes, kind of neurotic most of the time. but god dammit like c!dream does try to mitigate the worst of his control issues, when they flare up early on; the initial disc war ends with tommy getting his discs back as well as a stack of diamonds, in exchange for a netherite chestplate. he's a flawed character and he's still someone pretty friendly on the whole to most of the server, he's also kind of just known for being a little weird. he gives gifts randomly. he fixed creeper holes, and houses, and went along with bits. like whatever im a c!drolo c!dream woobifier and i admit it lol but for as much evil as he ends up doing, pretty damn consistently early on, he's . friendly? kind? funny? helpful? their neighbor. their friend. c!dream isn't just some stranger that flew off the handle; he's someone they knew and lived with who had his actions taken in bad faith because the goddamn story said so and kept fucking trying anyway until he believed the lie too. like he was just a guy!! a guy they knew and lived with!!! like my god

[luffyvace]

Dating ~ Sanji Vinsmoke ~ headcanons pt2

Pt2 of my Dating ~ Sanji Vinsmoke ~ headcanons

(cuz I ran out of characters 😭) it’s the post before this but I’ll link here: Dating ~ Sanji Vinsmoke ~ headcanons

⚠️(whole cake spoiler but you can read over it)⚠️

Dating Sanji Includes respect.

this man respects you more than he respect nearly everyone. And I mean it! Your up there with Zeff! And that’s the man that saved his life!!

Dating Sanji includes boundaries.

Going into what I just said Sanji respects you, which means he respects your boundaries! Now he finds you very alluring so he might push them but he won’t EVER cross them! Especially since that dude is on cloud simp 😭🤦‍♀️

Dating Sanji includes forgiveness.

Tying into that Sanji might push your boundaries..so forgiveness with him is essential! Hopefully your not stubborn! 💓

⚠️(whole cake spoiler)⚠️

you’ll also need to forgive him for leaving the crew at whole cake- and for almost MARRYING someone else- despite the fact that he always proclaims his love for you and says he wants to marry you. 😐

Dating Sanji includes comprising.

As said, this guy is pushy! So compromising can help strengthen your bond! “Dearest darlinggg~ could we take a bath together??~” *nose bleed*

it’s simply much to early for this sort of thing and you know Sanji’s a pervert 😵‍💫

”how about you prepare me a bath and make me some food while I’m in it? I’m really craving some (fav food :3) right now :)”

”right awayyyyy my scenic beloved~ you know I love doing anything for youuu~ especially cooking~ 😍🧑‍🍳”

compromise :)

by the way when i say Sanji is pushy I don’t mean it in the overly annoying way I mean it in the negotiation way, like that thing where you go:

‘50 dollars!’ ‘20!’ ‘30!’ ‘35!’ ‘Deal!’ 🤝

Like that type you know? He wouldn’t never actually cross your boundaries….it’s more like (harmless) loopholes ☝️🤓

Dating Sanji includes loyalty

very very very very very very obvious.

this man wouldn’t trade you for the world, and take that in because I mean that literally. Now if ykyk but whole cake was to protect you!! If it’s to protect you Sanji will find a way to minimize the damages instead.

anyhow- on a lighter note, you undoubtedly believe he will be faithful to you because you know it’s true and for that your grateful.

he’s always thinking about you 24/7- he doesn’t even have time to think about himself sometimes!! (He needs to)

Dating Sanji Includes active listening

top notch listener! As I said in part 1 he loves your voice so he could listen to you all day

he never gets bored or tunes out and you can tell! He consistently asks questions and maintains eye contact even if he’s doing something! :) it makes you feel so loved and heard 💗

Dating Sanji includes affection

only if you want it tho!! He has all love languages really (😭) but has no problem adapting to yours! So if this isn’t your forte, not to worry! He will never force this on you!

that’s talking about physical affection tho.

And there are many different types!…For the record- you get them all. 😊 he will emphasize on whatever’s your favorite to ensure maximum comfort <3

but this is where the communication from part 1 comes in!! You’ve gotta tell him what you like dear!! He’s not a mind reader 😃

Dating Sanji includes support

definitely this!!

he’s one of those guys who goes broke to support your dreams! (Remember the time Sanji almost sold Luffy out to the marines to buy Nami some PAPER?? Yeah..that’s you now)

everything is yours at the drop of the hat! Supplies?! He’s on it! (If you sell something) low sales?! He’s putting on one of those goofy mascots and twirling the sign around :) Karen Kustomer? Call security! (It’s Sanji- could you guess?!)

Dating Sanji Includes patience

this goes both ways truly..if your a bit more hot headed then you’ll definitely need this when it comes to him. He isn’t a idiot he just argues with Zoro too much…and Simps a lot too.. 👍

as for you I mean this in the sense that he already has plenty of it for youuuu!

he never gets angry at you for any reason.

I stand on that.

no matter how many of your shenanigans him and the crew have to go through, or how much chaos you’ve caused he’ll defend you to the end of it

”Oi! Why’d you have to go and do that?!”

”SHADDUP SHABBY SWORDSMAN!! my picturesque partner~ HAS DONE NOTHING WRONG!!”

😆

- You

(after causing chaos)

Dating Sanji Includes acceptance

self explanatory :3 he accepts you no matter who, how, where, what you are and he loves you through and through. From the highest point of your hair to the bottom of your feet 🤓😱

all that jazz~ 💖👌

Happy b day Sanji!! I’m totally not late for this!

:3

[loaksky]

— 𝒊 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒃𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒉𝒂𝒃𝒊𝒕 | 𝒆. 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒂𝒎𝒔

collegefwb!ellie x fem college!reader, angst, hurt / minimal comfort, wc: 3.5k

synopsis: you and ellie were a disaster waiting to happen.

content warnings: language, unforgivably mean!ellie (like atrociously mean, this is a REAL warning), toxic situationships / past relationships, brief mentions of sex, side comment about slipandslide, reader experiences loss, internalized grief and mentions of drunk driving / car accidents. please let me know if i miss anything, this one might be a lot !

author’s note: re-posted this after noticing it wasn’t showing in tags! also noticed some of the tlou community requesting some angst gigglegiggle. perhaps this will lead to a second-chance romance expansion in the future…leave your thoughts heh <3 as always, not proofread well!

tagging @vigskrt, don’t hate me for no happy ending this time around </3 i have plans to build this into a full fic ;)

YOUR FRIENDS HAD WARNED YOU.

They’d told you that Ellie Williams wasn’t shit. She was damaged goods and you were willing to pay the price even if it meant a shattered heart broken into a million unmendable pieces.

You’d given her the benefit of the doubt, had held out hope for the first little while of whatever it was between the two of you. You liked to believe that Ellie was tamping down unprocessed emotions, but she’d been adamant that it was all just good fun.

And you were willing to let it go, willing to take it all in stride if it meant having her in any way she’d give herself to you, but you were splintering glass waiting to give any second.

You’ll never forget the night you crumble.

She says it so casually, like she’s making observations about the weather or the swathes of setting skies. You’re sitting on her couch, basking in whatever remnants of the afterglow remains. Because, frankly, if there’s one thing Ellie Williams is good at, it’s pulling orgasm after orgasm out of you.

She’s across the living room, finishing off the blunt you’d politely declined, watching the slow glide of her goldfish in the tank on her console.

“M’bored,” she says simply.

You shift on your side of the couch, watching as she flicks ash in the nearby ashtray.

“You wanna go out?” you offer, glancing at the sunset outside of her window. “We could—”

She huffs out a humorless laugh, takes an extra long pull before stubbing the roach out and turns to face you. Her black tank top is riding up and you blanche when you see the fresh hickey a little south of her belly button.

You definitely hadn’t given it to her, but you aren’t in the mood to argue at the moment.

“I’m bored,” she repeats. “Of this. Whatever this is.”

You breathe out at nervous laugh.

“Oh c’mon, Els.” You stand from the couch, try to close in on her, but she’s shrugging you off as your hands come out to reach for her.

“I’m serious,” she says, tone bland and gaze glazed, equal parts from disinterest and the high kicking in. “It was fun at first, but this is starting to feel like a chore.”

Your chest tightens, tongue drying as you search her face for any tell.

“I don’t understand,” you murmur. “Where’s this coming from?”

Ellie shrugs.

“I’m just bored and this isn’t doing it for me.”

You’ve been wondering why it seemed like she was anywhere else but present the last dozen moments you’ve spent with her. It was always her half-assed agreements of seeing you when you called. Or less than enthusiastic spans of time where she’d seemed annoyed when you weren’t sated after the first comedown and quietly begged for more.

“Is there… Is there someone else?” you swallow. “If there’s someone else, it’s okay. I’ll—”

Ellie barks a mean laugh.

“You’re naive if you think you’re the only one,” she says, and it’s a nasty confirmation of the suspicions you’d had the entirety of your situationship with the girl.

“Why are you doing this?” you whimper, fingers reaching to tangle with hers.

“Fuck, I’m not high enough for this,” Ellie grumbles to herself as she watches your threads unravel.

“You wanna stop seeing me because you’re bored?” you heave. “You wanna stop this ‘cause you’re bored? Ellie, what the fuck?”

“I said it twice already,” she bites, snatching her fingers from your grasp. “And honestly, I’m over all of this. I’m over the clinginess, the neediness, the hope.”

Your breath catches hard in your throat and Ellie’s eyes meet yours for the first time since her declaration.

“Your friends talk, you know?” she says simply. “They beg me to put you out of your misery, say that you’re a great girl for me.”

And you like to think you are. You like to think that Ellie’d learned to love you the way you loved her; unconditionally, passionately, and in her own fucked up way. But you’d obviously been grossly mistaken.

“Am I not?” you whisper. “You mean the world to me, Ellie. I’d do anything for you. I–I lo—”

“Don’t.” She cuts you off sharply. “Don’t do this to yourself.”

“Ellie, I love you.”

And the silence is palpable. Tag-teams the tears that choke you as you wear your heart on your sleeve.

She sighs deep, scrubs her palms down her face as she screws her eyes shut.

“God, why do you have to make things so fucking difficult?” she groans.

“Me?” you choke incredulously. “We’ve been dancing around these feelings for a year, Ellie! You turn a blind eye, act like we won’t work when all it’d take is just a leap of faith. Why can’t you have faith in me, Els?”

She rolls her eyes, crosses the living room into her bedroom to collect your clothes off her floor.

“This is why we wouldn’t work,” she’d grunts as she stuffs everything into your backpack. “Because you think you know me, think you know how I feel, what I think, what I want. You don’t know me. You know what I let you and we fuck. That’s it.”

Your body shakes hard with emotion, bones vibrating with unshed tears.

“You’re lying,” you accuse. “You’re fucking lying because you’re scared.”

“Oh, fuck off with the shit, ________, please,” Ellie scoffs, shoving your backpack in your arms.

“It’s okay to be scared,” you argue desperately, reaching for her again. “I get it, this is new for you and it’s a lot to process and—”

“We agreed that this was just a good time,” Ellie says, nudging your arm away. “And right now, this isn’t really feeling like a good time. This feels like you trying to fix me, but I’m not going to change. Not for anyone and especially not for you.”

It’s a brutal stab at your feelings and it makes you sick. Because Ellie’s always known. She’d entertained this whole endeavor knowing you were head over heels and there wasn’t a chance in hell she would reciprocate.

“We don’t have to stop seeing each other, Els,” you try, taking in a shuddering breath. “Just— Just give us a shot. We can work through it and—”

“What’s not fucking clicking?” Ellie cuts you off with a pinched expression. “You’re not my fuckin’ therapist, not my girlfriend, and definitely won’t be anything more than a decent lay. I’m not doing this shit with you anymore. Seriously. Have some self-respect.”

The look of annoyance that crosses her face makes you feel like your feelings are the ultimate burden. And the sob that wracks your body rattles you so hard you cough till you feel like your lungs will dissolve.

It’s absolutely fucking humiliating, the way that Ellie grimaces like this is the most inconveniencing thing in her life as of late.

“Dude, just go,” she says sharply, steering you towards the front door. “Block me, I don’t care, just please let this shit go.”

“You’re actually the biggest piece of shit I’ve ever had the displeasure of knowing in my life.”

Ellie barely catches the statement, bulky headphones fitted over her auburn hair, but Dina’s brisk movements towards her catches her attention.

It’d be been a week since she’d last seen you, and quite frankly she’d been relatively surprised that you’d heeded her word about leaving her alone. She’d almost been home free. Almost.

“If this is about your friend—”

“Like hell it is,” Dina scoffs. “Are you serious? I can believe you said all that shit to her.”

“I mean, you warned her, didn’t you?” Ellie shrugs her shoulders, hooking her thumbs through her backpack straps. “Sounds like you should be bitching at her for not listening instead of me for keeping it pushing.”

And Ellie almost lets the irritation bubble over, but the look on Dina’s face has shifted, has her swallowing down whatever residual snark is concocting in the back of her brain.

“She’s devastated, Ellie.”

And it’s the same song and dance, Ellie knows it all too well, the bouts of sadness followed by the niggling feeling of numbness. She’s usually nonchalant, doesn’t feel any moral obligation to tie up any loose ends, but she feels the closest thing to guilt when she sees the genuine concern in your friend’s expression.

“Look, I’m sorry she got her feelings hurt, okay?” Ellie sighs defensively. “But everyone knew what this was going in and I can’t be the only asshole here for keeping it real.”

And of course she can’t take accountability, can’t admit that maybe she’d been too harsh on someone as sweet as you.

“Honestly, fuck you. I don’t know why I’m still fucking friends with you,” Dina whispers.

Ellie rolls her eyes.

“C’mon, D, you serious right now?”

“You hurt her so bad she won’t even eat,” Dina says quietly. “All she ever wanted was to make you happy, Ellie. The least you could’ve done was let her down easy.”

“This is fuckin’ bullshit,” she grunts to herself.

“No, Ellie, your attitude is fucking bullshit, your whole fucking outlook on life,” Dina says stonily, shrugging her shoulders and taking a step away. “But I guess you get hurt once, you hurt a hundred times, right?”

“D, don’t—”

“Whatever.” Dina waves her off. “Apologize, don’t apologize, I don’t fucking care.”

After nearly two weeks of trying to mend the wounds Ellie had left, you get the call. It’s during midterms and you feel like the world is splintering.

Your younger sister had been driving home on the way from her shift when she was struck. She’d been pronounced at the scene and you take the first flight back home.

And you don’t know how to feel. Don’t know how to sort through the nasty mix of emotions that threaten to peel you from the inside out and disintegrate you. Losing Ellie was one thing, losing your youngest sister is like cruel fate.

It doesn’t hit you until after the service. When you’re sitting in her bedroom, combing through her admittance letters and thumbing through old family albums. You land on a particularly devastating photograph. One where she’d finally surpassed you in height and she’d leaned down to kiss your cheek.

The tears are spilling as you turn the page and you see collages of holidays, birthdays, and vacations. The one that sends you over the edge is the most recent.

It’d been spring break and your family had gone tubing. The two of you had drifted off and your mother was able to capture the perfect photo of the two of you with your heads thrown back in laughter.

If you recall correctly, you’d confided in her about your troubles with Ellie and, in an attempt to make you feel better, she’d cracked a joke so funny it made you laugh like things could be okay.

In the first moment that every emotion hits you full force and your sister isn’t there to be your rock, she’s there to catch your falling pieces.

Abby Anderson’s a childhood friend, grew up in the same cul-de-sac and moved the opposite way for university. News of your sister’s death had her making the five hour drive and offering you some semblance of comfort in a familiar face.

The two of you sit in silence as you hold the photo album to your chest and cry until your throat is raw and your eyes are nearly swollen shut. Her palm is warm between your shoulder blades, a gentle anchor in the roiling storm.

Ellie’s stoned out of her mind when she pays your dorm a visit a couple of weeks later. The apology’s long overdue, but she’d been too busy sparking up and getting lost in other people to shake the claws you’ve seemingly sunk into her brain.

It’s half past midnight on a Tuesday when she delivers three hard raps against room 202. Another three when no one answers the first time around.

She finally hears shuffling after the third set and the door swings forcefully before the fourth. And it’s definitely not you.

“Y’know it’s almost one AM and a majority of this building has class in the morning, right?”

Ellie’s posture straightens.

“Hello?”

Ellie doesn’t recognize this girl at all, does a double take to make sure she’s got the right room.

“________,” she says. “She around?”

The girl’s face screws up.

“Who?”

Ellie repeats your name.

“Oh, her,” the girl mutters groggily. “She pulled out of school a couple of weeks ago. Whole floor was scrambling to get reassigned to her room.”

“She what?” Ellie balks.

“She dropped out, I guess, I dunno,” the girl shrugs. “All I know was that the school psych handed us pamphlets about mental health and shit after she left.”

If anyone has any information on you, they won’t budge. And Ellie realizes it’s equal parts for your protection and her punishment. She’d been a nervous fucking wreck the remainder of the semester, couldn’t stop searching every corner of the internet for you, but it seems like maybe that night really does click because she’s blocked on every single platform imaginable.

She’d started smoking more, started fucking less, actually showed up to class. Her brain was practically numb a majority of the time, anxiety eating away during her short bouts of sobriety.

And god, if she had to admit that she’d learned her fucking lesson, had to admit that losing you was agonizing, she would if it meant seeing you again. Even from a distance.

Because she’ll be honest for once in admitting that she fucking misses you. Misses you so much it’s disgusting. And she doesn’t miss the way you make her feel, or the sex, or any of the things you offer her, she misses you.

Craves to see your sunny smile, yearns to feel the way your body nestles perfectly against hers. And your laugh, god your laugh, boisterous and consuming. She’d always told you it was obnoxious, but nothing could crack a smile faster than you throwing your entire body away from her and cackling till you wheeze.

And this is more traumatizing than any previous relationship that made her swear off love altogether. Your disappearance and your absence makes her feel like she’s going insane, like she’s grasping at straws to keep it together.

Mercifully, the semester ends, but summer oozes like viscous torture. And when fall sem of senior year rolls around, she holds out on hope, just needs to tell you that she knows she fucked up and she’s sorry.

But fall is quiet. Winter is quieter and the holidays feel mundane even surrounded by her loved ones.

“Everything okay at school, kiddo?” Joel’s never been one to poke around, just a silent supporter in the midst of Ellie’s growing pains.

Ellie nods, leaning over the railing.

“S’alright,” she shrugs. “It’s school.”

Joel ponders for a moment, looks like he doesn’t want to pry, but his youngest is his soft spot.

“You know you can talk to me, right?” he drawls softly. “I know you better than you think. Know that something’s botherin’ you.”

Ellie hesitates, but decides to bite back her fears. It’s the least she could do for you.

“You ever hurt someone so bad you don’t know how to fix it?” she swallows.

Joel takes in a deep breath, then takes Ellie in.

“You want an honest answer?”

“Please,” she breathes.

“Sometimes you just have to deal with the repercussions of hurting somebody,” Joel says. “Closure is always nice but never guaranteed and the lack thereof is your punishment.”

It does feel an awful lot like punishment, Ellie thinks.

And Ellie learns that the universe can be unforgivable.

Learns as much when she catches a glimpse of you at the campus bookstore when all the students return from winter break.

She nearly drops her stack of books, scurries across the store in half as many strides before her fingers are wrapping around your bicep.

“Holy shit,” she whispers. “It’s actually you.”

You’d been caught so off guard, you barely process the emotions that begin to filter through you, especially when she engulfs you in a bone-crushing hug and rocks you like she’ll never let you go.

“I can’t breathe,” you squeak, hands snaking between your bodies to give her a gentle push.

“Sorry, fuck, I’m sorry,” Ellie blabbers. “For that, for everything, for—”

“It’s, uh, it’s fine,” you say cooly and Ellie’s staring like you’ve sprouted two heads.

Because it’s absolutely not fine. You’d left school for a year and returned looking like a whole new person. Your cheeks are hollow, eyebags prominent, lips chapped. It’s like the past eight months has sucked the life out of you.

“Christ, are you serious right now?” Ellie asks incredulously.

She doesn’t realize how many emotions she’d kept pent up until her vision is clouding and your expression is falling.

“I broke your fucking heart and you scared the shit out of me when you disappeared and I— I thought— I…”

Ellie’s chest is tightening and she feels like she’s gonna throw up when you let out a short breath.

“What, you thought I offed myself?” you ask with a hollow laugh.

“I don’t know what I fucking thought,” Ellie’s voice cracks, and it’s the most emotion you’ve seen from her in the time you’ve known her. “All I knew was that one minute I was seeing you almost everyday and then suddenly, you fell off the face of the Earth and I’d never missed someone so much in my life and I fucking hated every single moment—”

“My little sister passed,” you say simply.

And fuck, she doesn’t expect that.

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” you whisper. “You definitely fucked me up but there was a lot more to me leaving.”

“Jesus, I’m so sorry, I—”

“Everything okay?” A tall, buff blonde interjects.

It’s subtle, the way the girl’s palm slides to gently fit between your shoulder blades and Ellie’s going rigid.

“Yeah,” you respond, smile soft and familiar.

Ellie’d been on the receiving end once upon a time, and she nearly retches when you shift closer to the girl.

“This is Ellie,” you introduce. “An old classmate.”

The girl gives Ellie a once over, then a pensive smile.

“You ready to check out?” she asks you.

Ellie watches as you give her the upper level philosophy textbook and thinks that it’s fitting, your area of study.

“I’ll be up in a second, just gonna say bye,” you assure her.

She’s gazing down at you for a moment too long, lips curling into a wider smile as she nods in understanding and Ellie has to stop herself from recoiling.

Old habits die hard because she’s picking a fight despite her better judgment.

“So, I’ve been worried fucking sick over you for the past year but you were with someone else this entire—”

“Don’t do that, Ellie,” you say softly. “We’re friends. She helped me a lot through losing Dev.”

“If you called—”

“If I called, what, Ellie?” you ask seriously, but not unkindly.

You’re fed up, frankly.

“I would’ve been there,” Ellie says firmly, then whispers, “I would’ve fucking been there.”

“Would you have really?” you breathe a short laugh through your nose. “Last time we spoke I told you I loved you and you told me to have some self-respect.”

Ellie winces.

“I’ve thought about it,” she swallows.

You only blink up at her.

“It’s all I could think about since last spring, but…” she trails off, searches your face for courage because she’s so fucking scared. “What you said, the last time we spoke.”

“I said a lot of things,” you reply candidly.

“That we could work through it if I gave us a shot,” Ellie murmurs, running her fingers through her overgrown hair. “And I know I’m late—”

“Yeah, no shit,” you say flatly and Ellie flinches.

“But I want us to work and—”

“No.”

And the wind’s knocked from her lungs, makes her stomach wrench.

“And it’s not because I don’t love you anymore,” you say gently. “But because losing Dev taught me to love myself more.”

Ellie’s throat bobs.

“I can’t keep cutting myself down to accept what you feel like giving me,” you say. “Because I won’t take you having me one hundred percent and deciding to give me 10 on the days when the going gets tough. And don’t say you won’t because we’ve already done that shit with no labels.”

Being absolutely read makes Ellie feel infinitely more like shit because she’s never heard such a sound declaration of your unbridled feelings.

“I’m not losing you again,” Ellie whispers vehemently.

“You don’t have to,” you say softly, visibly withdrawing from the conversation. “I’ll always be in your corner rooting for you. But I can’t give you anymore than that. I won’t.”

“Wait, please, I—”

“I gotta go,” you say, peeling away. “Abby’s waiting.”

“Babe, c’mon.”

“I’ll see you around, Ellie,” you bid her, sparing her one final glance. “Take care of yourself.”

neng©️2023

[traumasurvivors]

I wrote a blog post about how harmful it can be to have your emotions invalidated growing up. It's here if you want to check it out! I'll paste the text below the read more for people who don't like links, but if you're comfortable, I really appreciate getting hits on my site! It feels really validating after all the work I've put into it. I've opted to not have any ads or anything to monetize my site, so it isn't like those annoying clickbait articles.

The effects of having our emotions invalidated while we’re growing up isn’t talked about enough and it can have lasting effects. This can happen when people say things like “you don’t know real struggles” when a younger person is upset about something they’re struggling with. This might include being told “I’ll give you something to cry about” which implied that the reason you were crying then “wasn’t a big enough reason”. Other people may have had to deal with “worse” problems and so we were told to be thankful for what we had because of what other children experienced. Your feelings of sadness, frustration, disappointment or anger were still real and valid. And you were allowed those feelings.

You may have been told to “stop being so sensitive,” which taught that you weren’t tough enough. You may have also been told “it builds character” which may have made you feel that you had to find a positive lesson in every bad thing you experienced. This can also be part of how people invalidate the seriousness of abuse, and other things that happened to you that were someone else’s fault. If someone doesn’t want to take responsibility, they may minimize what happened to you. They may say it’s okay because “they didn’t mean to do it” or “they don’t know any better,” perhaps because of abuse they went through. Your feelings may be invalidated because someone wants you to “let it go.” How serious they feel it was, or the reasons it happened, are not reasons that your feelings should be ignored or disregarded. Your feelings are valid. You should never have to “let it go.” 

These things that we were told, and many more, taught us that our emotions were bad and wrong. It likely felt invalidating. It may have been damaging And it probably affects how we see the emotions of others. I’ve had people say similar things to me now that I’m an adult, and I think it’s likely they do it because they were told things like these when they were younger, too. Over time, this has led to me invalidating my own feelings. I’ve told myself I should be strong and to avoid such feelings, or that the reasons for them weren’t “big enough”. I told myself that others had it worse than me, therefore I wasn’t allowed to be upset. None of these things helped me. Instead, they actually made me worse off. I bottled stuff up and then began using unhealthy coping methods to deal with the emotions. Having our emotions invalidated as we grow up can be traumatizing in its own way. It also doesn’t teach us how to effectively deal with and process our negative emotions. This can lead to people having fits of uncontrollable rage, spirals of depression and guilt, substance abuse to avoid feelings, and any number of other unhealthy reactions that can cause us more harm and prolong everything or make it worse.

Being unable to cope with my feelings was a big part of me not being able to cope with conflict in my relationships. Downplaying any “bad” thing that happened and ignoring it meant, for instance, I wouldn’t point out and deal with a small (sometimes completely unintentional) mistake. Instead, I let my feelings build without communicating about them and let my resentment build. By the time I acknowledged and spoke about my feelings, the problem was a thousand times worse than it would have been if I had dealt with it quickly. And sometimes it was too late to fix the damage done.

It’s not too late to learn and do better. You don’t have to be thankful it wasn’t “worse”. You don’t have to find a silver lining. While it’s important not to get stuck in our feelings long-term, sitting with them and feeling them and acknowledging you aren’t okay is okay! It’s okay to think something sucks or that it wasn’t fair. It’s okay to feel frustrated or sad over “small” things. Sometimes we don’t even understand why a situation or something has left us having such big feelings, and that’s okay, too! Your feelings are real and valid, even if they don’t make sense to you. And you deserve patience and compassion. Especially from yourself.

When you have negative feelings, if you find yourself minimizing them, or telling yourself why you don’t have a right to feel them, stop and try to be aware of what you’re doing. And allow yourself to feel it if you can. I've often had to remind myself that while it is uncomfortable, I can be uncomfortable and sit with my feelings. Think about if there’s a healthy response you can have to those feelings. For instance, if someone said something hurtful to you, talking to them about it might be a lot more productive than acting like you don’t care. Your feelings are valid. And invalidating them yourself is unlikely to be good for you.

Try to remember that, and try to be kind to yourself.

[ticklepinions]

Everyone should read the following. If we are a community you need to understand a few things.

Are you entitled to say anything you want due to "free speech"? Hell yeah!

Should you? Absolutely the fuck not!

The blatant racism, anti-queerness, transphobia, misogyny and fatphobia I have seen is down right abhorrent. And if you display any of these ideologies or opinions, you simply do not belong here. You shouldn't be comfortable making a safe space for yourself as you make this lovely community unsafe for the rest of us.

There is nothing political about human rights. But unfortunately that's where we are in this life. I'll try not to be biased but certain political leanings tells me all I need to know about you. POC conservatives will always make me laugh. You are nothing but a pawn for the cis/hetero/whites who don't give a shit if you live or die. Nothing but a slur, a body to dispose of. You may share their views but they are not sharing the power and privilege they have with you.

Let's talk about certain individuals who act so tough under the "big strong amurican sharing their views just to get shitted on, fucking snowflakes". Why do you want to be oppressed so badly? Why do you purposely antagonize people and then when they defend themselves you try dismissing them by saying how they're wasting their time... The irony of it all. The sheer ignorance.

I feel sorry for you people. Truly, I do. But I'll be damned if I let any of you try to tear any of us down for having opinions and ideologies (hint hint see the irony?) that fight for the rights of people who don't have them.

And let me get something clear- from the river to the sea. We all should not stop fighting till all of us are free. There are so many resources out there to educate yourself, yet you choose to remain ignorant. You do not belong here. You act as though you are better than everyone else because you have "edgy" opinions, opinions that literally call for the deaths of the marginalized and oppressed. You do not belong here. You have the gall to tell people they are wasting their time, when their sheer existence alone is putting them at risk for isolation and death (by the same bigoted people you support). You do not belong here.

If an elephant (Israel) has it's foot on a mouse's (Palestine) tail, tell me which one is truly the one at risk. There is a gen0cide going on. If Israel is trying to reclaim it's "land" why bomb it? Why destroy it? With a military with their degree they should be able to eliminate all these "terr0rists" with minimal to no "collateral damage" (aka the 30,000 innocent Palestinians, 2/3rds of which were woman and children, with countless injured, orphaned, homeless and starving). Why bomb hospitals, mosques, sacred places? Standing with Palestinian people is not antisemitism, it's anti gen0cide and war crimes (a multitude of which Israel has shamelessly committed).

And I'm not on anon. I stand for the people of Palestine. I stand for justice. I stand for equity. I stand for the freedom of all oppressed people.

And I implore everyone who follows me to educate themselves. The right path does not lead you to discriminate against the marginalized. Continue to fight my friends, continue to amplify the voices of those unheard, continue making this community and those you belong to, safe for all and unsafe for those who think otherwise.

For you @knismosexual + @littleonelee

I hope you truly reflect on how your actions impacts this entire community and the communities you live in. Until you learn how to act right, unfortunately this community isn't for you. You shouldn't feel welcome here. You shouldn't feel like you belong here. DMs are wide open if you have any thoughts. But again I say, supporting transphobic, racist, anti-queer, misogynistic, discriminatory views is not simply an "opinion" or personality to adopt. You are hurting real people, accepting the deaths and harassment that plague them every single day. You have no place in this community.

[scientia-rex]

On the weight loss thing - how much does A1C matter, and what are you supposed to do about it, if not 'aggressive weight loss'? I've dug through some studies but ... there's so much fatphobia, and honestly, it's poking my own eating disordered history in the nose. My partner's terrified of becoming diabetic and I don't know how to support them on that.

A1c matters, but the thing is, the medical community dropped standards so “pre-diabetes” is now defined as an A1c of 5.7 or up in most settings I’ve worked in. (Hemoglobin A1c is a way to measure an estimated 3-month rolling average blood sugar based on glycosylation, which Autocorrect turned to “glucose Latinos,” which, no.) Diabetes is defined as an A1c at or above 6.5.

But like… the goal we’re told to set for diabetics is under 7.0.

So does tissue damage from high sugars start happening at 5.7? No. And I would argue that if we don’t say that medication is required until 7.0, then the DISEASE starts at 7.0.

There’s been attempts to medicate people with “prediabetes” to prevent the development of diabetes. It’s not effective. Lots of people in the “prediabetic” category never go on to develop diabetes. I just think it’s a bit of a garbage categorization scheme.

And you’re never gonna believe what I’m going to tell you about preventing diabetes… it’s eating right and exercise. Doesn’t matter whether you lose weight. Eating right and exercising will help even if you don’t lose a pound. Even if you gain weight. Stay active and eat lots of fresh fruits and vegetables and whole grains, and your odds of developing complications from diabetes are quite low. Plus, if you DO get diabetes, we have highly effective medication options. Yes, insulin is still a mainstay, but the last 30 years have seen incredible advances in diabetes care.

Diabetes is neither a moral judgment nor a death sentence. Genetics has a whole lot to do with it, and it is highly manageable. Proper care of your body will help it live its longest and best life.

Eat well, move around, do things you love. Sleep right—that’s a huge component of blood sugar. Minimize stress. You do not have to hate your body to keep it in line. It’s part of your team.