#minor ableism mention

[residents-of-the-darkforest]

Dark Forest Resident: Marigoldsnake

Aliases / Nicknames: Snake-Cat, They Who Talk to Snakes, Snakeflower

Gender: Agender (they/it/she)

Sexuality: asexual, aromantic

Family: Redgeather (mother), Talonscar (father), Chestnutfern (sister), Peaktail (brother)

Other Relations: unnamed mentor, Mossyswan (father figure), Flarekit, Owlgleam (close friends), Ratbreeze (enemy)

Clan: GaleClan

Rank: warrior (13 moons at death)

Characteristics: good at hiding secrets, excellent at faking emotions, lonely, angry at the world, kind to those who show her kindness (an eye for an eye situation)

Murder Motive: anger at being treated with ableism

Number of Victims: 1

Number of Murders: 1

Murder Method: venom via snakebite

Known Victims: Ratbreeze

Victim Profile: ableist cats

Cause of Death: killed by Baytail

Cautionary Tale: treat others as equal, or get these hands

Story: 

Marigoldkit, the weakest of her little, was never liked much. The previous leader had hated weakness, and although Hawkstar was trying to reform the Clan, the ideas of Deerstar had sat long enough to leave a foul reek in the camp.

This hatred only grew stronger when it was discovered that Marigoldkit was paralyzed from the hips down.

Their kitten years were filled with struggle, with an unkind mentor, family who wished that they could abandon her in the woods, and no friends.

Then, a beacon of light appeared.

A loner was brought into the Clan, taking on the name Mossyswan. Mossyswan didn't think any different of her just because she couldn't move their legs, he just thought she had potential to become an amazing warrior one day.

Marigoldpaw once again found new cats to enjoy the company of, once Mossyswan brought in his sister's sick kits, claiming his sister had passed on due to the same sickness her kits had. Marigoldpaw discovered that Flarekit and Owlkit were some of the best company she'd ever had.

Later, just before they became a warrior, two things happened. Flarekit passed away from the sickness, known to be redcough.

In their grief, Marigoldpaw had found a new friend, this time a creature other than a cat. A little copperhead snake called Yew.

Just a moon after it became a warrior, Ratbreeze, the warrior who tormented it throughout all of its early life, had returned to the teasing with new energy. This time, all Marigoldsnake could think about was how nice it would be if she just... disappeared.

The snake-cleaning would work wonderfully.

If only that medicine cat hadn't followed them.

A clearing claimed two lives that morning.

Additional Information:

--Submission by @indigo-flightly-falls

--Mossyswan and Owlpaw/gleam were the only cats who mourned them.

--Marigoldsnake is able to somewhat understand snakes, and can control them by making friends with them.

--They're sometimes called Snakeflower and don't really mind it in the long run! It's a badass name as least :]

--Baytail was the medicine cat.

[hexastitchimera]

Hey friends, I've noticed that it's that time of year where people are being nasty, specifically and especially to us madfolk. If you've gone through that personally, I'm very sorry, and you have my solidarity & support.

However, if you'd like to know something that helps me a lot, is in relation to the dreaded rhetoric of:

[ TW: reality questioning / gaslighting ]

|

"Reality is a simulation!!"

"Life is an illusion!!"

"You can't prove anybody else exists!!"

|

[ /End TW ]

And all the others exactly like them.

Though I used to be very distressed over these claims, I've found a way to cope with them that doesn't involve lying to yourself and your rightful anxieties. If anything, it can foster a better sense of trust in ourselves, as well as a confidence boost.

When this rhetoric pops up, I tell myself:

"This does not and will not change how I have been living thus far. I will continue to live my life as usual."

"Even if that was true/real, there is inherent power in being unaffected and living life as usual despite knowing so."

And, most importantly, "MY lived experience is my LIVED experience, illusion or not."

Nothing about ferociously affirming- or denying- any aspect of what is "truly real" or not. You are focusing on and validating the experience of the most important POV in your existence, which is to say yourself and your own.

Though I am fully aware that, in the heat of the moment, our brains will respond in protective albeit intense ways, practice practice practice. Personally, I had to coax myself for nearly a month's worth of episodes before this technique started digesting.

Once your brain makes the pathways and connections however, you will find that it gets easier. It doesn't have to ever be "cured"- I still get paranoid myself over reality- but it can be mitigated for YOUR safety and comfort.

Because at the end of the day, YOU are here. YOU deserve nothing but peace, safety, good health, good company, and good times. Never let anybody- especially non-madfolk and psychiatry- tell you otherwise.

Love & Solidarity to you All,

- Delta 💜

[typically-untypical]

The Last Experiment

I wrote this for this years @tss-storytime! It is also a sequel to one of my most popular fics, The Logical Exception.

Read the whole story here on Ao3, but have a taste of the first chapter!

Also please check out this post for @starsinger 's art work!

CW: This first chapter does mention blood and injury

Chapter 1 - Aftermath - Isolation

Typically, Logan was a very literal person. Most of the time, exact language was a better way to express his thoughts. Sometimes, words weren’t enough. Literally, Logan could pull oxygen into his lungs. Literally, the world hadn’t changed it’s gravitational pull, yet he couldn’t breath, and the world was heavy. 

Roman’s blood was on the pavement.

Small droplets outlined the path to their home, their safe place, yet Logan couldn’t seem to care. All that mattered was getting Roman to safety. He had been downed. He lay unconscious in Remus’ arms. It was Logan’s fault. His brother had stepped in the way. He had protected Logan and now his life was in danger. A hospital would have been closer, but they couldn’t risk it. They couldn’t risk what doctors would do with a powered person. 

Instead, they had to risk Roman. 

“Pat, I need you!” Remus shouted after kicking open the door. Logan hadn’t even been able to help, he wasn’t strong enough to carry Roman. His leg was still unstable. Remus had had to step in. He had held Roman the entire way, briefly using his powers to conjure something similar to a horse. Remus had gotten them all to safety. He had conjured two ‘horses’ and guilt flooded Logan knowing Remus had still been thinking about him even with Roman injured in his arms. He hadn’t trusted Logan to take care of himself, and Logan couldn’t blame him.

The house smelt of paprika. It should have comforted Logan, the smell of Patton’s cooking was the smell of home. 

Instead, his eyes tracked Remus, watching as he placed Roman on the couch and Patton’s healing warmth lit up the room. Logan was thankful he had purchased a house where the front door walked into the living room. More than once Patton had had to help them after patrol. Typically it was minor bruising, or a few scrapes that healed in barely any time at all. This injury…. This time….

Logan swallowed, his throat tight as he continued trying to breathe. Color was returning to Roman’s face. His breathing evened out and he groaned in his unconsciousness. Relief flooded Logan’s senses. Roman would be fine. 

Roman would have been fine if Logan wasn’t a failure. He couldn’t rest. This was his fault. If he rested for even a moment it might happen again. Turning from the living room, Logan walked to a door that connected to a second house. He had bought a duplex, able to get both houses to give the six of them more living space. He had expended the resources he had. He had spent all of the money he had saved trying to make sure the six of them would be safe and comfortable. He had at least outfitted the house with security. Logan had thought of everything, everything but his own ineptitude. 

Once through to the other house, Logan turned right to a coat closet, slipping behind the long peacoats into a hidden door. He stripped off his visor, hands shaking, and plugged it into the charging base. He had to work harder. He had to fight to protect them. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy. He knew that.

His hands were shaking.

“Welcome back Sherlock, shall I start the post patrol protocol?” his computer called but Logan didn’t respond. He couldn’t open his mouth. The vision of Roman’s blood was burned into his brain.

Logan collapsed into the chair by his computer, he closed his eyes, feeling the tears streaming down his face. He wanted to go numb. He didn’t want to feel any of this. If he had to feel hollow from missing his powers, why couldn’t he feel hollow with this as well? For the past few months he and his brothers had been going on patrols, attempting to help those who needed help. His brothers had been against Logan joining in, telling him he needed to rest further, that his leg would keep him from being helpful, but he insisted. Logan had fought, and clamored, and worked to make himself useful to his brothers, to be what they needed and still he was the reason Roman got hurt. 

Logan clawed into his leg, nails attempting to bite into reinforced clothes. They did nothing. He didn’t feel an inkling of pain. He should at least be able to carry some of Roman’s pain. He shouldn’t be fine while Roman was unconscious on a couch. Logan wanted to slam his head into the desk, to pay for what he had done to his brother, but he knew that wouldn’t help. Self destruction wasn’t how he fixed things. Instead, he could work. It was the one thing he was good at. He would work on his visor, he would work on his strategies, he could work on the serum. 

Logan finally turned to his computer, “Irene, please start the post patrol protocol.” For a moment he hesitated before pulling up another file. This one didn’t have an automated command, and it was locked behind multiple layers of encryption. Logan hesitated as his finger hung over the enter button. He had saved his parents' research. He had recreated his own research. He wanted to make sure he could combat it if his parents ever came back, and in the darkest parts of his heart, Logan wondered.  His parents’ experiments had never been ethical, and though experimenting on himself was far more ethical, it was also dangerous. Not everyone who had asked for powers had made it out alive. Logan shouldn’t rely on something so destructive to make him useful, but if there was a chance to feel less hollow…. He knew how to use his powers. He could be useful if he had control again. He knew how to help when he could feel the world around him. 

Logan looked at the screen, at the number of scenarios he had run. Theoretically, because he had had powers before, the serum would be less deadly, but Logan had a sample size of one, and that had been a very different scenario. He could make a serum, but it would take doing a few illegal things. He had promised his brothers he would behave; he would abide by the ideals they wanted to see in the world. Logan shouldn’t risk everything he had built.

But Roman had gotten hurt.

“You slammed your way in here quite dramatically. I almost thought one of the twins had been kidnapped.” Logan jumped as he heard the voice behind him, immediately slamming the escape key on his keyboard. Everything shut down. It had been a dumb idea to begin with. Since the fight with his parents, Logan had done his best not to keep secrets from the others. He didn’t need to intentionally start something that would require lies and secrecy. He wasn’t going to use the serum.

“What do you want, Deceit?” It was hard to keep the frustrated edge out of his voice. If he wasn’t going to use the serum he had to think of something else, some other way he could prevent Roman, or any of them for that matter, from being hurt.

“It’s Janus, now, actually. I found a name that perfectly suits me. God of duality and beginnings.” Was this really the time for Janus to be expressing his name change? Roman had almost died, and Logan was spiraling. He knew that’s what was happening. He had to stop. He had to breathe. His chest puffed out as he filled his lungs with air.

“I’m happy for you, now what do you want Janus?” His voice was softer, and he slowly let the air out of his lungs. Closing his eyes, Logan counted. Virgil had taught him what to do when he spiraled, late at night when the world was quiet, his boyfriend would hold his hands and count. In the shadows Virgil was learning to be comfortable again, he would turn his focus to Logan. He would count slowly, quietly, and as Logan counted now he was able to calm his mind. Anxiety slipped away as guilt crawled its way back in. Logan had been lucky to be born with powers, but Virgil, Janus, Remy, everyone his parents had hurt had been forced to attain their powers through the worst possible means. How could Logan consider going down the same path the others had been forced to walk? How could he consider putting his life in danger like that?

“I came to check on you? After all, your brother was injured because of your idiocy. I’m sure that’s weighing on you pretty heavily.“ Janus traced along one of the training dummies at the side of the room before moving forward. He walked across the floor mat without taking his shoes off, disrespecting the space Logan had set up to let people train. Something in him tightened, each condescending foot step dropping him deeper inside of his own mind. He forgot to breathe again.

Janus turned his eyes to Logan, staring him down, and Logan had to look away.

“Is that why you ran in here? To hide from your responsibilities?”

He wasn’t hiding, he was finding a way to move forward. He was pushing himself so he wouldn’t fall apart. He was trying. Logan desperately wished he could be numb. He hated how the past few months with Patton and Virgil had started to break down the walls he had set up to protect himself. “If your sole purpose was to check on me, I am fine. However, your words suggest you came to taunt me instead. If that’s the case, please leave.” He was trying so hard. His computer was filled with strategies, planning, work outs, anything and everything he could get his hands on that might make him a better fighter, that might make him useful.

Janus didn’t seem to agree. He was staring at Logan, even without looking at him Logan could feel the burning his eyes left. Janus was judging him. He deserved to be judged.

“Pity doesn’t suit you, Logic.” He heard the other man turn, stopping his feet across the mat again as he walked away. Logan was certain if he had been looking at Janus’ face, the other man would be rolling his eyes. He was right, pity didn’t have a place here. Taking in a deep breath, Logan squared his shoulder, watching the screen. His hand hovered a moment before he clicked on information for the serum one more time. Who would it hurt if he tested this? Only himself. 

“Irene, please initiate lockdown protocol.”

He heard the door lock and Logan turned his eyes to the ceiling. He wasn’t a religious person, but hopefully if there was a divine being in the world who judged people on their actions, that being would forgive him.  

Pity didn’t suit him, but power would.

[gviral]

so obviously i don't want to be divulging too much into this topic because i don't plan on writing any William Birkin Epic Ableism Moments, but i did want to touch on something i think is pretty important to his character and the way i portray him. william is autistic (because i'm incapable of writing characters that aren't), but i don't think he would actively recognize or accept that fact due to the way autism was viewed back in the 60's and 70's, the period in which he grew up in. the term he'd be most familiar with that accurately describes his "condition" would be aspergers, or "high-functioning" autistic- both terms that are now heavily outdated. he has the capacity to learn otherwise, of course. william is a smart man, and he doesn't like to be viewed as wrong (or god forbid, ignorant). it's just a lot of internalized ableism on his part.

[mothmx]

“I Support Disabled people”

-girly who has called a special interest cringe, made jokes about a stutter, finds tics “annoying”, gets impatient with slow talkers, refuses to use image descriptions or subtitles, makes fun of slow walkers, refuses to follow pandemic guidelines, gets angry at blunt points in conversation, doesn’t respect social boundaries, thinks ND people being in sexual relationships is “creepy” or “pedophilia”, talks over disabled people frequently

[pigeonwhumps]

Found footage

MD-264N masterlist

@febuwhump alt 8: found footage

Taglist: @wolfeyedwitch @den-of-evil

Blue reluctantly shows Morgan footage of themself from the hacked Ministry hard drive.

1.4k

CWs: minor whump, parental death, kidnapping, grief, mentioned ableism, mentioned abuse

"Thanks for this," mutters Rhian. Blue shrugs uncomfortably.

"I promised I'd try. And it is their past, after all. If they want to see it then I guess it can't hurt. I'll call you if we need anything."

Rhian looks reluctant to leave but does so after a reassuring smile at Morgan, shutting the door to the workroom quietly behind her. Blue turns to Morgan, who's standing behind one of the computer chairs, hands behind their back.

"Sit down. Are you sure you want to watch this?"

"Yes, sir."

"Okay. There's information documented in writing too, if you want to read it later, but for now we'll stick with this video. It's the first of the lot, taken from security footage from a house in Bangor. If it gets too much, press the space-bar here, or tell me. Are you ready to start?" Morgan looks terrified, but nods determinedly. Blue sits down beside them and pulls the mouse towards him, watching them warily out of the corner of his eye. "Okay. Here we go."

The video's in grainy black and white, showing a hallway of a modest house similar to the rebels' own. Shoes and toys are scattered around, and there's a few colouring books and some scattered pencils with large grips on a shelf. This is clearly a family home.

A child giggles in the background, and a woman responds in what Blue thinks is Welsh. Someone's added English subtitles to the security footage, and he follows along.

"Ah, come on, put that down, little one. No, hey– hey!" A young child comes charging into view, tackled by a laughing young woman, who grabs the notebook out of their hands.

Beside Blue, Morgan reaches out towards the screen before dropping their hand and whispering brokenly, "Mam."

The little child on-screen is very likely Morgan, then, especially given that this recording is in their file. According to the documentation they're eight, but they look younger.

"Lovely drawings, baby, but did you have to colour in the letters as well? What's my professor going to say?"

"He'll say that it's so colourful he just has to give you extra marks!"

"Well, it is very nice and colourful. Maybe we can put it on the wall after my professor's had a look."

Morgan beams.

There's a jangle of keys and both look up as a man booms, "I'm home!"

"Tad!" yells Morgan, running off-screen (next to Blue, present Morgan mouths the word along with their younger counterpart). The man lets out an "oof".

"Hey there little monster. How was your day?"

"I did all my exercises. And mam says we can put my colouring on the wall!"

The two of them have walked into the camera frame now, the young, bearded man's arm around Morgan. He kisses Morgan's mum quickly.

"How was work?" Morgan's mum asks. Their dad makes a face.

"Boring. Packing parcels never gets interesting. You two seem to have had a better day."

"Lili forgot to tell you her biggest achievement today." Their mum hands her notebook to their dad, who takes it with his free hand and examines it.

"You been colouring in your mam's coursework again?" Morgan nods. "Little monster. I– wait. That's your handwriting. You wrote your name?"

"Yep!" replies Morgan proudly, and their dad beams, ruffling their hair.

"Well done! This calls for celebratory pancakes. You want to go and choose the mould? I need to talk to your mam."

Morgan nods and runs off, and Blue can hear clattering, presumably from the kitchen. Morgan's dad's smile falls slightly.

"What's wrong? Did you speak to your colleague?"

He runs a hand through his hair. "Yeah. I didn't say it was because of Lili, obviously, but I asked what I could about hiding her powers and keeping her out of the government's hands. His advice was to homeschool for as long as possible and speak to a rebel-aligned specialist about controlling her powers. Which we're already doing."

Morgan's mum sighs. "Great. I don't want to go into hiding but if it's the only way to keep Lili safe…"

Their dad places his hands on her shoulders. "Hey. We've got time until the standardised exams. She doesn't need to go near any officials for a few years yet. Also, I got the radio parts."

"Excellent."

"Let's see what mould Lili's chosen. 50p says it's the owl one."

"Only 50p?"

"Well, we do have a new Sword in the Stone one."

Blue almost doesn't want to watch any more. Tears are streaming down Morgan's cheeks already, and Blue can guess what comes later in the video. Morgan's parents were worried about the government taking them away for special education, similar to what he had, and that did happen, he supposes.

He doesn't want to watch this happen. The kidnapping. The electric shocks. He's had enough of his own, he doesn't want to see it happen to another child who's not a so-called 'normal' person who the government will leave to live their life. With Morgan's disability and powers, and their parents' resistance, it's no wonder that the government wanted them out of society.

That doesn't mean that Blue wants to watch.

But… he needs to. The rebels need any information they can glean from Morgan's records, and that includes these videos. Also, Morgan's watching, and he made a promise. He steels himself and turns his attention back to the screen.

"True." They start walking off-screen. "Hey, little one, what did you choose? Ah, I owe your tad 50p."

Just then, there's a series of heavy raps on the door.

"Ministry of Defence! Open up!"

"Lili, you need to run, just like we practiced."

"But I don't want to leave you!"

"You have to, baby. We'll come for you, I promise. I love you so, so much." There's a sound Blue recognises from his early childhood as a sloppy wet kiss on a forehead. "Now go!"

"They didn't– come," whispers Morgan, hunching into themself, as the younger version of themself dashes across the screen, pancake mould in hand. "They didn't, I– it–" They cut themself off with a sob.

Blue reaches across and pauses the video. "You don't have to watch this. I can stop it if you like?" Morgan shakes their head. "Okay."

Morgan's parents enter the hallway, and their mum unlocks a safe behind a children's painting. She tosses a gun and ammunition to their dad, loading another for herself and clicking off the safety.

"If we don't get out of this…"

"We will," he interrupts. "We have to. For Lili."

"Still. I love you."

The door bursts open and Morgan's parents start firing at the agents in the doorway. A couple of agents fall, there's a burst of gunfire, and then–

"Mam!" screams present-day Morgan, rocking back in their seat, hands flying up to cover their mouth. Blue rests a hand on their shoulder to hopefully ground them and they grab it, squeezing tight. The grip turns into a vice when their dad crumples to the ground too, their voice by this point barely a pained whisper, tears streaming down their cheeks, pooling on their lap.

"Tad…"

Despite the pain, Blue doesn't try to get Morgan to let go as they continue to watch. It's more of a frightened kid than a dangerous weapon next to him now, and he can't bring himself to force them into the position of having no comfort whatsoever.

Several agents dressed in full combat gear enter the hallway, fanning out and disappearing in various directions at their leader's orders. There's no subtitles for them – they're all speaking English.

The hallway empties except for the leader, who rifles through the pockets of Morgan's parents, pulling out electronic parts from their dad's. The floor and walls are spattered with blood, and there's probably more bodies out of shot.

Suddenly, the sharp, terrified scream of a child rings out, and a few seconds later an agent comes into view carrying a squirming Morgan in their arms.

They fall still and silent and their eyes widen at the bodies and the blood. "Mam? Tad? Let me go, let me go, mam, mam, tad!"

The agent cuffs Morgan around the head and they fall limp, dazed. "Your parents are dead. Shut the fuck up or I'll give you something worth screaming about."

The agents leave the house and there's a few seconds of a silent, bloody hallway before the video ends.

Blue looks down at Morgan, unsure what to say. They're curled up, sobs racking their body, eyes screwed shut, hands clamped over their ears, still clutching him tightly with one of them, and he has no idea what to do.

[scoop-lookatpinpeopleneedhelp]

Tell me I’m not alone on this..

Okay. So there's a page on The Spriter's Resource that I left a comment on where I asked if anyone else thought the proportions of the characters were weird because the game and character design was overtly sexual and even the game had sex in the title. I'm not saying the game because I don't want to give it attention but with that being said here is my interpretation of what the characters looked like + the comments I received in response.

You could make the argument that they had to make the characters small due to it being easier or them still wanting to use low-res pixel art, but they could've just made the bodies taller and the head a bit bigger to compensate for the eyes. And in the game there's a boss character with much higher resolution, more detailed art. So these people were clearly capable of making the characters simple but in proportion, but they chose not to. Even if making the characters look like adults would've been too daunting, too fucking bad. If you're making a porn game, suck it up and use more pixels because making characters like these and sexualizing them is flagrantly approving of the sexualization of young people whether they realize it or not. Not to mention the guy who responded with such a horrible word to use in really any context. Even aside from the use of that word, his argument falls flat. If you photoshop a 9 year old to have thicker thighs, they will still look like a 9 year old because big boob and big thigh doesn't change the proportions of the head, the eyes and the body. Call me an uncultured snowflake but this genuinely pisses me off. This problem barely scratches the surface of the awful shit hentai artists do like disregarding female or submissive character's consent, enjoyment or dignity, fetishizing LGBTQ+ people or entire races or aging up child characters (which is a whole other can of worms) among many other things. These people get so successful too and can make lots of money and gain a huge following from making somewhat normal porn alongside at best questionable and at worst horrific shit. I have zero qualms with wanting to draw porn, but like… have some humanity.

Please tell me I'm not alone in thinking drawing characters like that is fucked up.

[nc-vb]

I'd been so emotionally baffled by the Elliot Gindi situation that I've stayed off of Twitter for most of the week, so much so that my nails are bitten down to their beds (an old habit I kicked around six years ago, with the current situation bringing it back), but going on for the first time since learning about everything and being bombarded by piece of evidence after piece of evidence, both factual and disproven (confirmed), I've decided to put together a post of links and summaries where you can find this evidence.

As Tumblr only allows a certain number of photos per post, I'll either have things collaged or will have simply added the links to the posts for larger bits of evidence; whatever's necessary.

This compilation will begin beneath the cut of this post to avoid unnecessary exposure to those who wish to scroll past. Additionally, I would like to note a few things to keep in mind while this situation continues to, unfortunately, unfold, in regards to Elliot, the victims, and Genshin Impact.

Elliot may have voiced Tighnari, but as we all should know and be able to differentiate, he is not the character. There is no point to hating on a collection of pixels. For some, it is difficult to separate the two, or for better phrasing, knowing that Elliot voices/once voiced him, it will be hard for some to not associate the two so closely. Please respect those who have this difficulty. This isn't an easy time, but the conversation on this abuse should not be trained anywhere else but on this matter.

Victim blaming is cruel and senseless. At this point in time, over twenty victims have come out with proof/evidence/information, and as such, they should not be treated with the "looking for attention" party line. Be respectful to the victims during this time, because as hard as you might be taking this news, I can personally assure you that they are taking it much, much harder.

Finally, some of these victims are underage. I'm talking as young as 13, here. All the more reason to not victim blame, as they are literal children. There's nothing more easily manipulated and pliable as a child's mind, something a good, proper adult knows full well. And, the bad ones know this, too, which is why they do what they do, the "what" being all of this.

Be respectful to the other voice actors, as well. Some of them were good friends or good acquaintances or coworkers with Elliot and are also taking this news difficultly. Some more than others, which I'll get into below, as well.

Finally, please remember that when people like this pull stunts like this and reuse and recycle the same tactics on those younger and more impressionable, and then begin "apologizing", it is not for their own guilt. It is for the fact that they were caught, and are now backtracking to try and save their own asses.

As of February 13th, 2023, there appears to be a formal investigation of Elliot Gindi and all existing evidence has been collected for the purpose of this investigation.

While I will be adding TWs in the tags below, I'll also include them below this paragraph, as I'm sure not everyone has tags blocked on here. I will not be going into any specifics on a case-by-case basis out of respect for the victims, nor will I quote any specific comments/remarks made by Elliot. I don't know if there are words that get triggered for post review here on Tumblr like other sites have, so you might find some words asterisked (*) throughout.

Tw warnings for p*dophilia, tr*nsphobia, gr**ming, ableism, sexual assault, self-harm, emotional abuse, blackmail, mentions of s*icide (manipulation tactics), mentions of eating disorders (sexual relations with minors.

Okay, I think that covers all of that. Let's begin.

Minor note before we get into things: as it stands, all evidence provided has pointed out undeniable proof of Elliot Gindi being problematic in almost, if not all, every shape, way, and form. I think the only thing he's yet to do is physically act on some of the things he has said over the course of his time of voicing Tighnari. That we're aware of, anyway. But he has admitted to his foul behaviour.

In early February, Twitter member and former Discord mod for Elliot's Twitch channel, FretCore (Matty), came forward with a compilation doc of screenshots of submitted conversations between Elliot and other fans. The original Google Doc has since been removed in accordance with their terms of use rules, but since then, a WordPress site has been created. A majority of the following evidence comes on behalf of them and the other mods, as well as the victims (who remain nameless/anonymous/under aliases).

(I've linked their Twitter account for ease of access; however, please know that the evidence you will find either posted or retweeted there is not for the faint of heart. I advise you to heed general TWs should you choose to browse.)

Before the allegations went live, Elliot had already been in contact with numerous fans since October of 2022, betraying their trust by using their adoration for his work as Tighnari as his weapon of choice. He would target young, influential fans, especially those who had revealed themselves to have a mental health condition that might be easily manipulated, for the purpose of and resulting in installing a power dynamic. Elliot spoke with Corina Boettger (Paimon VA) and mentioned that he "spoke with them", referring to him coming "clean" about his behaviour (I will post her responses in another section below).

On February 6th, 2023, Elliot posted this on Twitter, announcing a "temporary" departure from social media:

As well as this "apology":

Over the past two weeks, twenty-four victims have come forward-- Tokki, Kazuya, Haruka, Faru, Atticus, Cal, Luc, Kit, strrbryss, Miki, Aynour (submitted to Matty), An (account protected), Roro, Lei Lanii (account protected), and ten other unnamed victims. Not only were the messages sent by Elliot highly manipulative, but they were extremely inappropriate for multiple reasons. Below, I will tl;dr for you the specifics of each case. I know many of you haven't been able to stomach the details of the situation for numerous valid reasons, and I'm sorry that this has reawakened a lot of pain for everyone in the process.

TW User Tokki (he/they, 17y.o.) shared the messages between them and Elliot where the former VA had been the one to initiate contact. Tokki had been a member of Elliot's Discord server and would frequently message them under the guise of a mental health check-in, until admitting that he took notice of them after they'd posted a cosplay. The use of their dead name and incorrect pronouns went hand-in-hand with fetishizing their sexuality and mentioning other harmful comments in regards involving conversion and transphobia. He also used their mental health history (past and present) to try and cover himself by calling Tokki "crazy"; Tokki later relapsed around New Years and was almost sent to a psychiatric hospital when Elliot threatened to commit. When Elliot was kicked from a private server they were both in, along with Tokki's friends, the two spoke only enough that Tokki eventually blocked him and contacted a mod. TW

TW User Kazuya (pronouns unknown?) shared the messages between them and Elliot that had the former VA using inappropriate nicknames, encouraged them providing sexual favours to him over video and voice recordings, and wound up hospitalized for attempting to comply with one of his requests. Other messages from Elliot included him encouraging Kazuya to get tested for any sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) so they could engage in unprotected sexual intercourse should they ever meet. TW

TW The first unnamed victim sent Elliot a fanart of himself and a nice message. It wasn't soon after that Elliot began making sexual remarks. Elliot deleted their conversation before it could be recorded through screenshots, but Elliot began to fetishize their bisexuality for his own personal enjoyment. TW

TW User Haruka (assuming she/her, based; 20y.o.) also sent Elliot fanart and told him how much she enjoyed his Tighnari work. The conversation, which wasn't expected to become a conversation, quickly escalated into one of sexual remarks from Elliot, that Haruka felt "extremely obligated [to] give him what he wanted" (nudes). Haruka says that before the escalation, she felt "safe" speaking with Elliot, but the 180-degree on both her and the others' situation has since put her in a "horrible mental state". TW

TW User Faru (he/they, 14y.o.; Ace) met Elliot through IG when they sent him fanart and pulls from Genshin. After a bit of kind conversation, Faru opened up about a previous SA where Elliot asked invasive questions on the matter; whenever it got too much and Faru got upset, Elliot would guilt them into rejoining the conversation, which only got more explicit (again, I won't be adding any details here). While all of the cases here are extreme, Faru's evidence has its own TW within one of the screenshots, so please bear this in mind should you decide to read the texts yourself. TW

TW User Atticus (he/they, 18y.o.) had a brief encounter with Elliot through a voice call. He dm'ed Elliot some Tighnari doodles and he called them "cute", before asking if they could chat over call. They did, and it was at first normal, until Elliot eventually turned on his camera and revealed him to be naked and masturbating (Atticus assumes it was to his voice). Atticus was 17 at the time of the incident, and his age was public in his Discord. He immediately left the call and blocked Elliot. TW

TW The second unnamed victim had sent Elliot a Tighnari edit through Twitter, not having Discord. Elliot saw it on his personal account, but messaged them back on a burner account. Elliot almost immediately inquired to their sexuality/gender details and country. It was obvious in the intonation of their text that this unnamed victim felt uncomfortable with the flow of conversation, but felt obligated to indulge him. The two exchanged certain photos, and even multiple voice clips. This victim ghosted Elliot for two weeks, and upon re-entering the conversation, Elliot immediately went into a guilt-trip/self-loathing/pity party that frightened them. Another picture was sent, this one involving self-harm that greatly triggered the victim. They told him to seek help, and presumedly, blocked Elliot. TW

TW User Cal (he/they, 14y.o.) tells that he reached out to Elliot about Tighnari, as well, and Elliot repeated the previous pattern of asking personal questions, asking for Cal's deadname (which he did not give) and for Cal's discord. Elliot eventually asked Cal to delete their IG chats and was manipulated into doing so, so unfortunately, they are unable to provide physical evidence. Two months ago, Elliot asked for a picture of Cal. At this point, it is unclear if Elliot is aware of Cal's true age (unlikely). Elliot throws another self-loathing/pity party. Cal has declined to share anymore information, to spare his mental health. TW

TW User Luc (any pronouns; 21y.o.) spoke to Elliot on their old Discord account around September 2022, having joined Elliot's server with it but quickly leaving as they felt uncomfortable being in a server (general). Elliot private messaged Luc, eventually falling into his same pattern of personal, inappropriate questions of Luc's sexuality, what they had on, where Luc lived, etcetera. When Elliot asked for Luc's Snapchat, Luc declined, not keen on giving it out. The day after, Elliot asked if Luc would join them on video call and masturbate with him. Luc expressed how uncomfortable they felt during this exchange, and demanded he stopped when Elliot asked for photos of Luc's breasts. Elliot began apologizing, and asked Luc to make a new Discord and delete the one used in their conversations, hence why Luc has no available evidence. Luc did send a clothed, full-body picture at Elliot's request, but Elliot made a comment on his thinner appearance (unfortunately, This spanned over two days. TW

TW The third unnamed victim (unknown pronouns, 18y.o.) was also a victim to Elliot's pattern of abuse: the personal, invasive questions once the victim introduced themselves as a supporting fan; "where do you live?"/"what are you wearing?" This victim chatted with Elliot on Discord through an alt account of his and experienced his self-deprecating remarks once being told that they were uncomfortable with the situation, and the fact that he heavily used their trauma against them. The victim believes that after they blocked Elliot, he deleted the alt account. TW

TW User Kit (he/they, 13y.o.) came forward with some of the most sickening evidence that I'd read at this point. In being the youngest victim, it was quite painful reading through his testimony. Their interaction started off the same way as the others, along with the personal questions. Kit assumed he was being friendly and knew his age, as it was posted to his bio. Elliot continued to address Kit with female pronouns despite being informed of Kit being afab. He asked Kit more invasive things (I will not list them) before jumping into the extremely sexual comments, additionally calling Kit "good girl" on a consistent basis, and even sending Kit a dick pic. When it was finally attached to the conversation that Kit is only 13 years old, Elliot goes through his self-deprecating, s*icide-threatening spiel to gain sympathy from Kit, and successfully encourages him to delete their Discord chat. But, Kit kept the receipts. TW

TW User strrbryss (unknown pronouns, 14y.o.) posted their recount of their experience with Elliot on TikTok, which was then sent to Matty. Again, it was the same pattern of manipulative abuse he used on the other fans after receiving an edit from strrbryss: the personal, invasive questions turn to requests for sexual favours, which were, at first, rejected by strrbryss (Elliot managed to manipulate and bait her through threatening s*icide); the self-deprecating remarks. strrbryss blocked him soon after. TW

TW The fourth unnamed victim (unknown pronouns, 14y.o.) opened up to Elliot after having made an alt account for the purpose of sending him fanart, where the former VA created another false place of safety before asking about their personals. This victim unfortunately did provide their personal information. After giving Elliot their Snapchat, he began making advances on them and would ask for nudes, despite making it clear numerous times that they were underage, and even make them sit through inappropriate video calls with him. The fourth victim ultimately stopped talking to Elliot and blocked him, and he deleted their messages. TW

TW The fifth unnamed victim (assumed pronouns being he/they [enby], 20y.o.) sent Elliot fanart, who turned their current fixation of Tighnari into full-on conversations, appearing as a friend to them. Elliot soon began asking for personal audios, admitting to masturbating to one of the voice clips sent by the victim (presumedly?); he would ask to sext with the victim, as well, where they would then try and shift the conversation to get out of it. Elliot began guilt-tripping the victim, getting in their head and using their situation with their friends as a catalyst; he requested explicit videos from the victim, and even photos of their s*lf-h*rm scars. Elliot would eventually start harassing this victim's friends, and ultimately blocked Elliot. TW

TW The sixth unnamed victim (unknown pronouns, 13y.o.) sent their compliments to Elliot on his work as Tighnari through Discord back in late December. They and Elliot began a conversation, talking more regularly until Elliot began asking the same personal questions and attempting to give the victim the same false sense of safety. This victim had already informed Elliot of their age multiple times. Elliot made inappropriate/sexual comments regarding the victim wearing their favourite lipstick after showing just them wearing lipstick (and nothing else) in a photo to him. The victim began to purposely distance themselves from any conversation with Elliot as the inappropriate behaviour progressed, where Elliot then spammed them on Twitter and Discord asking if they were "mad at him". He tried backtracking and "apologizes". The victim has deleted their chats together and has blocked Elliot since. TW

TW The seventh unnamed victim (unknown pronouns, 12/13y.o.) was 12 at the time that they contacted Elliot Gindi to give praise for his voice acting. This victim has a prior of being sexually harassed/gr**med (one of the abusers actually being similar to Elliot), and Tighnari was a comfort character for them. The victim shared their IG handle with Elliot when he asked for photos, and only commented on them (not mentioning the victim's mother, who was also in the picture). He began asking the victim "weird things", such as the type of clothes they wore, if they had a boyfriend, if they could send him a picture of what the victim was presently wearing. The victim would brush off his questions, still wanting to stay connected to "Tighnari". The questions got more sexually inappropriate, to which the victim informed Elliot of their history of being a gr**ming victim. Elliot sent the victim a dick pic along with extremely sexually vulgar comments. These events sent the victim into a panic attack and forced them back into therapy, and even to the greatest extreme of begging their mother to move out of the United States in fear of Elliot. TW

TW The eighth unnamed victim (unknown pronouns, 15y.o.) had conversations with Elliot in vanish mode (due to a previous experience, but also as Elliot said it was "better that way"). The two sexted back and forth. The victim had heard that it was "easy to get a response from him" and wanted to speak to the voice actor of her favourite character. Elliot lured them in by providing them his Tighnari voice for NSFW roleplays. When the victim explained that they were getting bored of Genshin Impact, Elliot immediately began guilt-tripping them, saying that they "just hated him and wanted to use him for his voice and talents", that "he should just disappear then if [they're] so bored", that they were "breaking his heart". The victim (thankfully) recognized his behaviour and kept their distance, eventually deleting the messages from their conversations (five conversation took place beginning late December, three of which were sexual). TW

TW The ninth unnamed victim (unknown pronouns, 26y.o.), while they didn't suffer from any sexual advances from Elliot after initiating conversation with him over IG, they were on the receiving end of Elliot's request for them to s*lf-h*rm relapse. He even attempted to gaslight the victim by saying "if you really cared for me". They had to "lecture" Elliot about asking for this. TW

TW User Miki (he/they/she, 13y.o.) says they don't have any evidence of the "cringy sex talk", but managed to keep the screenshot from the day Elliot threatened them. They assume he has kept the nudes they sent him, as he also threatened to share them if they revealed anything of their interactions. Miki is currently suffering through depression, and shares their regards to the other victims. TW

TW User Aynour (assumed pronouns being she/they, unknown age) was a lip MUA and would post the looks on IG, at the time that they messaged Elliot to compliment him and his work. He complimented them in turn and asked if they could video call while they put on their makeup. He didn't say much during the interaction and his camera had an odd angle to it; Aynour later found out that Elliot was touching himself to her applying lipstick. Elliot proceeded to make sexually inappropriate comments that made Aynour so uncomfortable that she immediately ended the call. Elliot apologized later, dubbing what happened during the call a "misunderstanding", and telling Aynour that he thought they knew he'd been "interested in [me] sexually". Aynour does not have the screenshots, as they deleted their entire IG account after being unable to take the thought of anyone looking at any of their photos and thinking the same thoughts that Elliot voiced to them. "I can't put on lipstick anymore." TW

TW The tenth unnamed victim (now "named" Rhea; assumed pronouns being she/they, 19y.o.) was a member of his Discord server and complimented Elliot on his voice work for Tighnari; they additionally said they enjoyed the stream Elliot had done with CyYu (Cyno's voice actor), and when they went on about the latter, Elliot showed signs of jealousy. When the victim opened up about a prior sexual assault by a family member, Elliot inquired if they "liked it", to which the victim informed him that the event had been why they were now into females only. Elliot proposed that he change this for them, himself, or by means of a threesome with another fan. Elliot exploded on the victim, lying and bringing up CyYu's name in the guise of him hating the victim, and saying that the victim was "a disgusting attention seeker that plotted against him to ruin his career". Elliot's response was enough to send the victim to seeking psychiatric help and stayed in a psych ward for two weeks; they stopped playing Genshin, stopped watching Twitch, stayed indoors. The victim finally told their mother what happened and both had gone to the authorities and sought an attorney's help. The victim deleted their Discord and the evidence, after being told they couldn't help with this situation. The victim laments that they allowed themself to be fooled by his words, and that he manipulated them into hating CyYu from Elliot's lies, leading them to tear up a treasured autograph from CyYu. Elliot, before the evidence from this victim could even be posted, sent this victim more messages (20 minutes before Matty posted the evidence). TW

TW User An (they/it, 16/17y.o.) met Elliot on Discord in the beginning of December, and complimented him on his work in Genshin. A few days after talking, the two would voice chat (vchat?), when Elliot commented on their voice and how attractive it was. On December 27th, Elliot began asking An about their sexual fantasies, and asked them to show their face to him. An would ask him to stop, and after An told their friend, Kishke, about the situation, Elliot told An to delete their messages-- and An would, if he apologized. He "did", and An deleted them. Elliot then threatened s*icide and s*lf-h*rm to get his way, using the words "If you tell anyone else, I might have to kill myself". An would try to talk him out of s*icide, and Elliot proceeded to sexualize them helping him, calling their efforts "sexy". The day after, An blocked Elliot on Discord and Twitter. TW

TW User Roro (unknown pronouns, 19y.o.) contacted Elliot two weeks before their 19th birthday, to express how much she loved his character and the voice used for him. After a bit of conversation, and Roro saying they've done some commercial work on the side, Elliot proceeds to make a sexual comment/joke(?) about their voice. Elliot would ask stranger questions, specifically regarding if they'd had bottom surgery. Roro later offhandedly mentioned having a Tighnari pillow, to which Elliot asked them to send a video of them humping it-- Roro blocked him and deleted the messages. TW

TW User Lei Lanii (unknown pronouns, 16y.o. - 21y.o.) met Elliot much earlier than the aforementioned victims, in a Pokemon server called PokemonGoGo, where Elliot defended Lei Lanii when they'd been bullied for their art, and then sent them a friend request. From the age of 16, Lei Lanii and Elliot would speak often, the latter consistently sending Lei Lanii compliments about them and their art, and eventually, asking them if they would sneak out to see him, or draw lewd art for him. Elliot would trick and gaslight Lei Lanii into clinging to him (they have attachment issues), and they have been speaking ever since. Please, if you decide to read their evidence, it is very triggering. Caution yourself. TW

Even now, more victims are coming out with statements. Unfortunately, it is too vast a number to keep up with. Should the WordPress document ran by Matty be updated, I will add them into this posting. I only relay information, but I am not in a place to verify truth or falsities.

GENSHIN IMPACT STATEMENTS

February 15th, 2023 @ 9:30 PM "Dear Travelers, After communications with the voice recording agency, we hereby confirm that Elliot Gindi, the English voice actor for Tighnari will no longer be voicing the character in subsequent versions due to a breach of contract. "At present, we are communicating with the voice recording agency regarding matters of casting and re-recording. We will gradually replace Tighnari's existing in-game voice lines, and issue these updates in the corresponding announcements. Thank you for your support, Travelers!"

ACTOR STATEMENTS

The following are comments and statements supplied by the Genshin Impact English voice cast (as of February 15th). I've likely missed some. There's a lot.

Corina Boettger (voice of Paimon)

"I was one of the people he called before this all came out 2 days ago to "come clean". Which I don't know why. Besides a few random tweets I haven't had a direct conversation with him since I think august last year. I feel gross that he came to me. Worse is that he told another person that I "took it well". Which makes me feel gross that he thought I was on his side. I wasn't. Even him watering down the situation I told him it was bad. And yeah over the call I didn't yell or freak out but that doesn't mean I was okay. I shut down. My partner has had to deal with my mental state for the aftermath of this & it is not good. Cause at that point Elliot told me he didn't think anyone would come forward because he "talked to them" which really just tells me he tried to manipulate them more. But I was immediately in a position where I was thinking "who do I go to... I have to let people know he isn't safe". Luckily shortly after that call someone else reached out to me and notified me that things were in motion, people were being notified, and then they also sent me the actual severity of what happened. I knew he wasn't giving me the full truth. He even alluded to me that because one of the victims had a mental disorder that they don't really have the wherewithal to come forward. Which completely broke me. To be honest I disassociated through the conversation so I am only remembering what I can but my partner was there during the conversation and I was on speakerphone so I know I didn't imagine it. But I am autistic. I know with previous experience how I was scouted by abusers because of it. Cause then my word would not be trusted. Also when he told me he made sure everything was deleted so they have no "real proof" I told him that was stupid cause if you did nothing wrong you wouldn't have had them delete anything. He knew. He knew what he was doing was wrong and he did it anyway. And I feel so gross and sick that he came to me like I was a friend when I never was. I had a feeling from the start something was off about him but I said nothing because you're not supposed to judge people instantly like that. I feel like maybe if I had spoken up no one would have gotten hurt. But all I had was my gut instinct at the time. Thank you to those that came forward. It isn't easy. You didn't deserve this. And I'm sorry this happened to you. I feel so guilty. I feel like I could have helped more. He knew it was bad or he wouldn't have called me to try to change the narrative before it was even out. He even told me that he was going to contact others he worked with. Meaning he was trying to garner support before it happened. I wish when he told me I yelled at him. I wanted to. But I thought that would make it worse for the victims. I also thought maybe if I kept calm he would give me more info so I could help the victims. But it made me sick. I feel sick for not telling him right then and there to f*ck off. I replay what I can remember from the conversation over and over thinking "yes you told him what he did was bad but you could have done more" cause the fact that he told others I took it well? That just makes me so angry. I cried after that call. My partner has done nothing but comfort me the last 2 days saying I did the right thing. Thank god someone contacted me shortly after that call saying they had it handled and that the victims were safe. Because I really thought it was just down to me at that point and I had no idea who the victims were or how to handle it. I wish I could have done more to help. I wish my stupid disability didn't make me shut down when dealing with stress especially when there are people who are hurting who could have used my help.

Zach Aguilar (voice of Aether)

Disappointed and angry. I have removed the stream with Elliot and will no longer be associating with him. I refuse to give someone like this a platform in any way. To use your power this way over fans is disgusting and shameful. My heart goes out for the victims of this situation

Sarah Miller-Crews (voice of Lumine)

Shocked and disgusted. I’m sending all my heart to the victims of this situation, I hope all of you are okay. Elliot’s behavior is absolutely inexcusable and he won’t be part of any group streams I help organize in the future.

Cristina Vee Valenzuela (voice of Bennett & Xingqiu)

I am so sorry to all the victims of that person’s horrible and inexcusable actions. I’m so appalled and disgusted. I didn’t know them well but I have cut all ties. Recovery can be a long and difficult journey, please be strong.

Brianna Knickerbocker (voice of Hu Tao)

I am furious. HOW DARE Elliot threaten to take his life if the victims came forward. Truly sick in the head. Everything Elliot has done has left me so angry and triggered. There needs to be consequences for his actions. There needs to be support for the victims. BELIEVE VICTIMS. Victims. Please speak up if and when safe to do so, please don't stop speaking up. I'm so sorry we live in such a dark place with such disgusting predators, groomers. I'm sorry it's hard and scary to speak up. Don't let them silence you. Don't let them win. I BELIEVE YOU.

Brandon Winckler (voice of Tomo, Takuya, Nervous An)

As an actor you have a responsibility for how you handle yourself with fans. Alot of these people are literal children. They adore you/the characters you play. To take advantage of that is beyond gross. In an industry like ours, fandoms can be a reprieve from actual issues some face. I remember how much my fav shows and games would help me. This just really disappoints me beyond belief. It happens too often.

Valory Pierce (voice of Tanina, NPC)

When you’re considered a public figure, it is your sole responsibility to set appropriate and respectful boundaries especially with fans and admirers of your work. But taking advantage of someone else’s fragile mental-health for your own narcissistic pleasure? Absolutely vile.

Allegra Clark (voice of Beidou)

It is critical—as actors, streamers, content creators, whatever your profession—that we be aware of dynamics in relationships between us and the people who consume our work. which is a fancy way of saying don't knowingly pursue fans and especially underage ones CHRIST It shouldn't have to be said, but also, why do people even THINK about that? Why do people meet fans and think about getting their dicks wet (literal or metaphorical)? Why is that something that occurs to people? Why do people LITERALLY seek out fans like that? As baffling as it is to me, I'm fully aware that people look up to me. We aren't trained on how to deal with that, but simultaneously there's a difference between being awkward and *PREYING ON FANS* I'm just. Really angry about this. So much love to the victims, that shouldn't have ever happened to you. The community deserves better. It costs $0 to not be like that. also while I'm venting about his stupid decisions, nonblack people shouldn't say the n-word. idc if you're a person of color, if you're nonblack? get that word out of your mouth. holy shit.

Cory Yee (voice of Gorou)

Like many of my peers and the community, I am thoroughly disgusted by Elliot’s actions. The victims’ bravery is so very important here, and I stand in support of them. My heart goes out to them, but even so it feels so woefully insufficient. Since I found out about what happened, I’ve been reflecting about what to say, and it’s been incredibly hard to put words down. It makes me sick to think about the platform we’ve been gifted being used for such acts. Care and empathy must always be at the center of any community It’s our responsibility as public figures to protect and listen to our community. It’s also our responsibility to create spaces for voices to be heard. And it’s our responsibility to provide a safe place where people can trust one another. I hope the victims will be able to have some level of closure and healing over time. And I can’t speak for everyone, but I know so many of the members of my part of the Genshin fandom stand with the victims, including me.

Christina Costello (voice of Collei)

I’ve spent the last few days viewing my kindness as a flaw and telling myself I need to change it desperately. I now see it’s not a flaw, it’s my strength. Even if I’ve been burned because of it, it’s still my strength. I am with you all. My heart is with you all. I do not know if I will ever have the right words to say. I’m still blinded by anger and hurt right now. But please know my heart is with you all. I’m sorry. Sorry that your light has been taken advantage of. Please continue to let that light shine. Please be kind to yourselves. It has taken me a long to accept that sometimes, kindness is simply manipulated. It hurts. It’s anger introducing. But it doesn’t mean I should stop being kind. I’m proud of the person I am. Working on being kinder to myself, so please, keep being kind to yourselves too 💕 I love you means nothing when it’s being used to manipulate and cause harm. “Kindness” means nothing when it’s being used to manipulate and cause harm. Once again I am so sorry your lights were taken advantage of. I truly understand. I’m so sorry. Please continue to shine. Shine bright, loud, and continue to be your powerful selves. My heart is with you. At the very least, my kindness was (and still is) real, genuine, and came from my heart. Even if the kindness I received back was not. I was still kind. And I’m proud of that. But how dare you be “kind” to others with the intention to hurt them.

Ratana (voice of Yae Miko)

Fame- at any level- comes with a responsibility to its fandom. I do not condone predatory behavior at all. To those affected: thank you for speaking up. I'm holding space for your healing + peace. I'm sad, angry, and so so effing tired. You deserve better.

Chris Tergliafera (voice of Capitano)

Fans sending fan art of a character you voice is such an honor. To take their love for the character as an opportunity to groom/manipulate them is pure evil. My heart hurts for all the victims. No excuses for it, period. Go away, get help, don’t come back. With new survivors coming to light, I want to share some Red Flags to look out for when talking online with any online celebrity, voice actor, influencer, etc. Let's not allow another Elliot Gindi to hurt others, ever again. I also want to say how incredibly proud I am of how every survivor responded to his evil. Y'all knew something was wrong and took the right steps by either cutting contact or telling someone. This was MAJOR manipulation/grooming and you all stood tall to prevent future victims. Additionally, Chris has made a TikTok video in response.

Ashley Biski (voice of Layla)

Why is it so hard to be a decent human being?? My heart, my love, and my prayers go out to anyone that was hurt in this situation. And you are so strong and brave for speaking out Now to say I’m pissed off is an understatement. So do not EVER utter my name, it’s consonants, or it’s vowels in the same breath as that persons. Please and thank you. Not all VA’s are bad. & so many of us do what we do to bring joy and a safe way of escape from the turmoils of the world to those that consume our media. Now with that being said I am very loving, kind, and I mind my business, but know that I am NOT the one to play with. Trust. And I'm not retweeting no damn "apology". You're sorry you got CAUGHT. So please seek help. I have seen some peers literally take this situation that you have zero to do with and instead of just saying something in support of the victims you decide to use this as another “moment” for yourself. And I say another because you love to have a moment. If I see it again I’m calling you out and I’m flaming you. So don’t let the fact that you are a VA on Twitter with a couple thousand followers get you caught up, because the thing about me is that I scrap for real. And let this be a warning for anyone else in this industry that’s doing some dirty, grimy, underhanded stuff. You woke up the lion so trust you will be dealt with. Have a nice night. I am literally sick to know that I did a couple streams with Elliot. Like I want to vomit. But for him to use a cast mates name to lure people in?! “Alexa, play ‘Knuck if you buck’” cuz at this point I have no words anymore. I’m ready to fight. In response to unnamed victim ten: I want you to know how proud I am of you. Continue to chase your dreams. If you still wanna be a VA I pray he hears your voice in every game, every cartoon, every commercial til it haunts him in his sleep. I am currently your biggest fan so don’t stop! I just wanna end the night with saying I have never been more proud to be apart of the #GenshinImpact community. Y’all are ride or die for real! You have shown tremendous support for these sweet victims and also sent love to us in the cast that I genuinely feel. & I’m sorry I tweet kinda scrappy lol. Im usually easygoing & mind my business but once you piss me off it’s over. For someone to look & act the way he did he really had the audacity. But that’s okay cuz he has another thing coming. Layla may be asleep but Ashe is wide awake!

Alejandro Saab/CyYuVtuber (voice of Cyno)

Sorry for the delay on this, I’ve been at the hospital all day What Elliot did is awful, vile and I’m sorry to all the victims he affected. It’s inexcusable and I’m hurting physically and emotionally! I do not condone any of his disgusting actions. I’m mad, sad and just… frustrated. I considered him a friend and this… this sucks and I’m sorry. My heart goes out to all the victims he affected. Love you guys and you all deserve better Afterwards: I wasn’t to make this tweet cause I thought I said my piece. But after I found out he was using my FUCKING NAME to lure folks in. I gotta say something. I barely knew Elliot Gindi. We literally just played games together. The first time I talked to him was on a live stream Then we literally just talked about collabing on stream and the occasional dumb joke or something Genshin. That was the literal extent of any relationship we had. Just because I voice Cyno and he WAS Tighnari, doesn’t mean it went any deeper than that. I’m sorry to anyone he made false promises to, he used, abused, sexualized, and any other unspeakable shit I’m unaware of he’s done. He’s a FUCKING DISGUSTING HUMAN BEING and I beg he gets recast as quickly as possible. I know it may take some time, but the sooner the better. I’ll probably address it a hundred times. But we were not close. At all. We could’ve been, but no. That’ll never happen. He’s fucking scum, and I hope karma comes his way soon. I’m sorry guys.

Kelsey Jaffer (voice of Yao Yao)

My stomach is in knots…this is a lot to deal with for us, and I know it is for a lot of you. Please be gentle with each other and with yourselves. Take some time off of social media today, if you need—I’m going to. Do something that makes you smile. Be well, everyone. I can’t say anything that’s not already been said, but I just wanna make it clear that the victims of Elli*t’s rancid behavior are incredibly brave & deserving of love &support. victim-blaming, shaming, or minimizing won’t be tolerated—& neither will anyone twisting the situation People love to exaggerate certain parts of a story and minimize others, especially online and on this platform. Don’t let any hot takes, nitpicking or conspiracy theories distract from the issue at hand—what the victims had to go through. I see you and support you. Thank you to everyone who had a hand in making Hoyoverse aware of this horrible situation--you were clearly heard and considered. This is a step in the right direction, and I hope it gives some of the victims even a little peace

Kelly Baskin (voice of Amber)

Disappointed and angry with the actions of a fellow cast member. Sending love and healing to all of the victims. Thank you for speaking up. Y’all, I beg of you, please stop apologizing to the internet when you have personal circumstances to attend to. You have the right to your privacy and people understand. The interweb will still be here; take care of yourselves, unapologetically. Said with love.

Risa Mei (voice of Kokomi)

I am incredibly outraged. What happened was disgusting and inexcusable. That is predatory behavior and I do NOT tolerate any of it. My heart goes out to the victims in this situation. I am so sorry. Thank you for those who were brave enough to come forward, that is not easy. There are so many of us hurting today, so please be kind to each other out there and do what you need to do to protect your mental health

Judy Alice Lee (voice of Yunjin)

WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST BE GOOD PEOPLE

Matthew Greenbaum (voice of Azhdaha)

Regarding the situation with Elliot Gindi. I'm disgusted to see someone use whatever tiny modicum of fame they have to take advantage of their fan base. It should go without saying, but if you have a fan base, it is crucial that you set strict boundaries and don't cross them. My heart goes out to the fans and the victims, you deserve better. For any fan who needs to hear this, don't trust anyone you don't know reaching out to you randomly online. Those of us who are safe would never do that in the first place, so if someone does that, red flag. If there's anyone who hopes to be best friends with their favorite voice actor, let me pull back the curtain real quick: we're not any more cool than anyone else. Many of us are so overworked that we don't know how to talk about anything else. Otherwise we're average people.

Valeria Rodriguez (voice of Sucrose)

Everyone makes mistakes. Lots of us struggle with our mental health & there's not a single human without flaws/issues. But he should have known better. Especially being older. ESPECIALLY now. It is not hard to not be scummy. Not once- But twice, I'm a survivor of almost this exact same thing. I hated having my innocence crushed and taken away by them. I'm so sorry to those affected by his actions. You do not deserve that from ANYONE. Least of all someone you trusted and looked up to. To clarify- The beginning of my 1st tweet is, "Mental health is not an excuse." We must ALWAYS take accountability. Moreso- we have the power & foresight to make sure we don't hurt people because of it. It was not a simple "mistake" on his part. There was no excuse. That's all.

Sean Chiplock (voice of Diluc)

If/When Tighnari is recast in light of the absolute horror of this past week, please remember one extra thing - *DO NOT* associate the new actor, performance, the character with Elliot's horrific acts. They shouldn't suffer for the 'crime' of being tasked with his replacement. “If” exists solely because neither I nor any of the cast have the power to make that decision for them. Of COURSE we’d hope the decision will be an obvious one, though.

Nazeeh H. Tarsha (voice of Alhaitham)

Absolutely vile, heinous and despicable. To the victims, coming forth is not an easy thing to do by any stretch of the imagination. Your bravery is nothing short of admirable. May you find some semblance of solace in the outpouring of support and begin your healing process.

Khoi Dao (voice of Albedo)

Absolutely fucking gutted. No one should abuse their power like that, and no level of fame could ever excuse it or make it anything less than fucking horrible. My heart goes out to the victims. I’m sorry you had to be brave like this today, and I hope you can find a way to heal. Every time we learn something new about Elliot my heart breaks all over again. Knowing he hurt so many of you in such profoundly evil ways rots me to my core. To those who came forward, for what it’s worth, I want you to know I see you, I believe you, and I’m with you.

Chelsea Kwoka (voice of Shenhe)

To the victims, your feelings and boundaries are valid. To everyone affected, my heart goes out to you. I’m often intimidated by this platform, but please know the cast stands with you. Regarding VA update: It doesn’t change what he did, but I’m proud to work for a company that listens to its employees and customers. I hope this brings everyone affected some amount of peace

Anne Yatco (voice of Raiden Shogun/Raiden Ei)

It's hard to put my feelings to words. People with public visibility (actors) bear a responsibility to treat their fans w/ respect. To do the opposite or worse is absolutely inexcusable. If you're hurting, I'm sorry. If you spoke up, thank you. I had no clue. I’m sad and angry. I’m canceling today’s streams. To be honest, I’m too angry to stream. Please take care of yourselves and each other. And to the people that Elliot hurt, my heart goes out to all of you. It was so brave of you to speak out, and I hope you can begin the healing process.

Jenny Yokobori (voice of Yoimiya)

Now that I have more spoons: Elliot Gindi is abhorrent. The abuse that he inflicted upon his victims is unforgivable. I am absolutely disgusted with him and anyone trying to defend him. I wish nothing but peace for the victims. I don’t give a shit about any “apology”, though “I want to be a champion for women” You can keep it. Stay away from any afab people for as long as you live. “I’m not used to having this much attention!” AS IF THE REST OF US ARE Genshin BLEW up and a lot of us have entered the public eye very quickly. I’m so goddamn sick of the excuse of “sudden fame” for these predators. A lot of followers doesn’t make you a predator. You were just a predator waiting for a lot of followers. This is ESPECIALLY obvious since he admits he went after a specific victim BECAUSE they were a fan

Jennifer Losi (voice of Ganyu)

To the brave folks who shined a light on the predatory behavior of a voice actor in our community: thank you for stepping forward to protect others. I am holding space in my heart for anyone who was hurt by this horrific misuse of his platform and your trust. People with bad intentions don't show their true colors to everyone and continually try to build allies for exactly this sort of moment. If you are replaying every conversation in your mind right now, please know this is not your fault. For the victims: you are not alone. Many of us have been in coercive situations that wish we had been able to handle differently at the time. It's easy to blame yourself when other people take advantage of your vulnerabilities. Please don't. Be kind to yourselves today.

Bradley Gareth (voice of Yuehui, Hishida, Uncle He)

It really isn’t that hard to be a voice actor without being a total creep We go into the little box to make silly voices. Some people, usually impressionable people, usually young people, get really attached to the characters we play. We as voice actors enjoy a little bit of celebrity, a little bit of power with these people. Don’t abuse that. If you feel yourself being tempted to do any of this bullshit to fans, especially younger ones, 1. Close your fucking DMs 2. Seek psychiatric care Deeply embarrassed to even be in the same field that keeps having this problem. Please believe all the victims and support them in this difficult time. Do not be surprised if the perpetrator decides to embrace people who don’t believe in any victims at all.

Stephanie Southerland (voice of Jean)

Just becoming aware of the situation with Elliot. I'm disgusted & upset to say the least. To anyone who has been taken advantage of, my heart hurts for you. Speaking up is so difficult but please know that the rest of the cast stands with you.

Marco Domenico (Meatball) (voice of Dvorak)

As a person who covers a lot of Genshin Impact content on my channel and now a member of the cast, I just want to say I'm sorry this terrible shit happened. In fact, it's completely fucked. a LOT of people lean on you when they feel safe with you. Be Responsible.

Robb Moreira (voice of Mika)

As actors, we have a responsibility to represent ourselves, our clients, and the characters we represent with decorum and respect. Responsibility to treat fans with the same decorum and respect. Responsibility to know that people are safely interacting with you. To take advantage of the trust between actor and fan for your own heinous goals is inexcusable, regardless of the guilt you feel. Which only exists BECAUSE you were caught. Underage grooming is disgusting, vile and the worst act an actor can do. I stand with all victims

Laura Stahl (voice of Barbara & Xinyan)

im so sick and heartbroken to those who have been hurt, you have my love and sympathy. to those who came forward i admire your strength. i wish you never had to use it this way. our community is so precious, and you all deserve so much better. please take time to heal.

Chris Faiella (Genshin Impact voice director)

I appreciate everyone bringing the situation regarding Elliot to my attention. To say I'm angry, disappointed, and heartbroken about it all, would be an understatement. My heart goes out to anyone who has been victimized by this unacceptable and inappropriate behavior. I personally would like to champion the ones who stepped forward and brought all of this to light. Trust that I am doing everything that I can, using what limited power I do have, to rectify this situation and will absolutely inform the folks at miHoYo. I appreciate all of your love, concern, support, and vigilance.

Mick Wingert (voice of Dottore)

I just became aware of the #elliotgindi allegations. I have no comment on Elliot, as I don’t know him, but to the #genshintwt and #dottoretwt communities: Your boundaries are important and valid. No person, no matter how famous is allowed to compromise them.

Erika Harlacher-Stone (voice of Venti)

Furious. Elliot Gindi has been removed from all group streams/activities I have any part in organizing moving forward. I’m… this is really triggering for me… Honestly I thought he was rude and egotistical from my first interaction with him but didn't want to exclude castmates based on a personality clash. Should've trusted my instincts.

Josey Montana McCoy (voice of Kaeya)

I stand with the victims of this (and all) abhorrent bull shit. It’s our responsibility as actors to hold the boundaries of professionalism and basic decency. Believe victims.

Jackie Lastra (voice of Xiangling)

Now that I’ve sat with my feelings I want to address the Elliot Gindi situation. I’m an appalled at everything that’s come to light. Fans trust you with their hearts & to abuse that trust & take advantage of your position is deplorable. My heart is with the victims. We see you.

Griffin Burns (voice of Tartaglia/Childe)

I just wanted to say… to the victims of a certain actor’s predatory behavior, you are so brave for sharing your stories and I support you. What they did is abusive and simply inexcusable. No one deserves to be treated that way. Stay strong comrades, you’ve got this!

Patrick Pedraza (voice of Scaramouche/Wanderer)

Hey y’all. Im one of the few on the Genshin cast that is married and has a 5 year old daughter. Shit hits different when you think of someone physically or mentally abusing your kid. The thing that sucks, is you can only do so much to protect them, as the world and lots of people are unstable. I wish I knew the answers. All I can do is lead with love and do my best. I hope whoever is hurting right now because of abuse or other trauma seeks help and uses the hard situations in life to grow stronger and more resilient. Love y’all.

Emi Lo (voice of Columbina)

"Fame" should never be an excuse to be a manipulative creep and to take advantage of those who admire you. NOTHING should ever be an excuse to do that. It's disgusting behavior, and my heart goes out to those affected - whether they have come forward or not.

I hope this was safely informative. I know, it's a lot. I'm sorry to all. I deeply empathize with this current struggle. For anyone wishing to talk/discuss things, my inbox (and arms) are wide open. Let's heal together. 💕

LINKS

FretCore (Matty) - Twitter

Arrest Elliot Gindi evidence site - WordPress

Discord convos between Elliot & his moderators - WordPress

Burner accounts used by Elliot to contact victims - WordPress

[meesehands666]

Been thinking about bringing back transsexual as a normal term to fight off the government (US) routinely going through bans of transgender everything. Both forcing them to talk about the difference between sex and gender

Here’s the emergency ban that got blocked. Please read how fucking ableist this is. Boutta get my psychologist to remove all of my diagnosis because I can’t afford to move to fucking Colorado.

One of these should work it’s from the Missouri government site

[bebsi-cola]

generally i feel that people assume things are more accessible than they are. especially in medical settings. because like a hospital is where you would need to cater to people's health conditions right. so what do you mean that they can't accommodate allergies? a dr's office is where disabled people and people with chronic conditions go, so why aren't they wheelchair accessible? or as mentioned in an earlier reblog, why would they not have hoists for people. this is specifically the place where disabled people will need to go and go often right. this is the place that's meant to be able to cater to people with health conditions. except it's not, the ableism is baked into the system so regardless of how much sense it would make for a food venue to be able to handle food intolerances and allergies - they don't. they don't care, it's not been accounted for in the plan in the first place. they expect to deal with uncomplicated "normal" issues daily and see disabled people as some sort of annoying exception to manage on a case by case basis. and if every place, every venue, every service sees disabled people as an inconvenient exception, a small minority they don't have to implement accommodations and plan for, then the vast majority of public life is inaccessible for disabled people.

[hyperlexichypatia]

The thing about "lack of third spaces in the U.S." that doesn't get mentioned enough is that it's not just "Capitalists and corporations bought up the commons, privatized public resources, and made people pay to access them."

That's a big part of it. But it's not the only part.

The other part is that middle-class people -- particularly middle-class white, abled people -- willingly forked over money to set up private spaces rather than share public spaces with people of color, disabled people, neurodivergent people, poor people, religious minorities, and other "undesirable" people.

When you look at any article or picture from some point in the 20th century about third spaces that are less common now, consider that depending on exactly where and when in the 20th century U.S. this was, people of color might have been banned from that space by either law or threat of violence or both (or, at minimum, made to feel unwelcome). Physically disabled people probably could not access those spaces (or were institutionalized or kept at home). Visibly non-passing neurodivergent people probably could not access those spaces, because they were institutionalized or kept at home. Two women kissing, a man in a dress, any type of visibly queer or gender nonconforming person would not have been tolerated in that space.

And my point is, these things are not unrelated. The decline of third spaces is not unrelated to civil rights gains.

I'm not saying "Stop talking about the good things of the mid-20th century, don't you know that era also had racism and sexism and ableism and queerphobia?"

I'm saying they're not unrelated -- it's not "This time period was better in some ways, like more third spaces, but worse in some ways, like more racism and ableism." It's "Those good things, those third spaces, those labor unions, those safe neighborhoods, that sense of community, relied upon the systemic exclusion of a dehumanized underclass, and as soon as any civil rights pressure was put on that systemic exclusion, the sense of community crumbled."

The pattern is clear and recurring: Privileged people build a public space for "the community", marginalized people start using it (sometimes after a court case or two), the public place gets a reputation for being "full of" marginalized people, privileged people build a private space they can exclude people from, privileged people abandon the public space, the public space gets neglected and deprioritized because "nobody (who matters) uses it anymore," the public place goes to shit from neglect and possibly closes, the private space gets expensive, privileged people lament the loss of the public space.

Privileged people killed public pools rather than share them with Black people. Mortally wounded public schools rather than share them with people of color and religious minorities. Are trying to kill public libraries rather than share them with queer people and unhoused people and neurodivergent people. Can't revive public transportation for fear of sitting next to poor people. It's white flight all the way down.

The whole "Social democracy is the left wing of fascism" claim is tankie ridiculousness, but like most tankie ridiculousness, there's an underlying grain of truth. In this case, the underlying grain of truth is that widespread support for public services is a much easier sell when people don't think they'll have to share resources or public space with people they consider inferior. It's not a coincidence that some of the countries that provide the highest quality of life for their abled citizens are some of the worst to noncitizens and disabled people.

And it's not like Weird Queer Left-Leaning Types have a great track record of sharing public space with people different from yourselves, either. Y'all can't be normal about someone wearing a yarmulke at Pride. Y'all can't be normal about adults playing board games with kids. There's no way you'd be okay with unsupervised, uncontrolled, unmedicated-by-choice schizophrenic people hanging out and talking to themselves. You cannot handle public third spaces.

Yes, blame corporations and advertisers for privatizing public spaces, but also blame the social prejudice that willingly forks over money to avoid sharing public space with Those People.

[cripplecharacters]

Hi, I’m concerned about whether there is anything regarding disability that are strictly off limits for abled author to write about. For example, I know it’s meaningless for an abled author to write about what it means to be disabled, or the disabled experience. Is there anything else that would be infringing on boundaries & risk speaking over actual disabled authors? I know including non-POV disabled characters who just happen to be disabled are fine with proper research. But I feel as if I might be treading some risky ground here because I have a POV character who is disabled. Regarding that, I want to know if some things are off limits if I am abled myself (such as their personal feelings regarding their disability - it’d be odd if I didn’t mention this at all since they’re a POV character, but I don’t know to what extent/if i should explore this at all, especially since it’s a result of injury).

Hi!

Outside of the examples you gave ("what it means/how it is to be disabled") I don't anything is strictly and always off limits for abled writers in general because disabled people will have such a wide range of opinions* on this that it'd be impossible to know what you can and can't do - it's better to just do it well and thoughtfully if you do decide to go for it.

*Examples: I know disabled people who don't want people without their disability to write characters with it at all, no exceptions. I really heavily dislike abled writers putting their disabled characters through nightmarish levels of ableism because it feels like torture porn or at least as exploitative. Someone else will be fine with abled writers doing literally anything. Some people see all non-OwnVoices representation as inspiration porn. Disabled people are too big and diverse of a group to come to a specific consensus.

There are areas where I think they should be more careful, like in stories where a character suddenly becomes disabled, as that can easily turn into a plotline that focuses on how disability is bad due to the missing nuances of such an experience. Even putting aside that there's a ton of room for factual errors on how recovery or just the medical side of things in general looks like, I feel like it can be difficult to write this kind of plotline in detail if you don't have experience in it. For this kind of things, I believe that sensitivity readers are a must if you want it to be a major part of the story. If it's a minor one then I think it can be okay, especially if you aren't going into the emotional nitty-gritty of the whole process much.

There's also the obvious topic of tropes that I think abled writers should avoid - but as you probably seen on our blog, there will always be exceptions to them. Example: I always say to not put your character with a facial difference in a mask - but in this post I said it was fine if XYZ happened. Nuance and all. But putting tropes in just to be "subversive" usually comes off as cheap, assuming that they actually are subversive in the first place (which they usually aren't).

Tropes are tools, and they can be used well if the writers put effort in, and especially if they ask the group that the trope itself affects. They are bad if they're done mindlessly and without care for actual disabled people, and at the end of the day it depends on how the writer decides to use them. Don't just assume that your case is "special" and "totally different" from all those people who do use them wrong - these two groups often end up as a perfectly circular Venn diagram. Check with disabled readers first.

Having a POV disabled character is completely fine in my opinion. It's not like we are a completely alien, unrelatable concept to abled people. It can be done well, but it does also require more thought and effort to be put in. Again, I think that sensitivity readers can be incredibly helpful in a case like this.

And I think that it is important for the writer to just look at the page and ask: do I know enough to write about the character experiencing X? Because sometimes the answer will be no, and that's fine. Not even stories written by disabled people will touch on every single aspect of the disabled experience because it's so incredibly wide that there would be no place left for actual plot.

We also don't just sit around and think about how we feel about our disabilities. Sure, deciding how your character feels about it in the vague sense is helpful for characterization, but there's a ton of disabled people who treat their disability as a complete non-event. People like us who mod a blog about disability representation are very much a minority. Your character could just be like "oh yeah I guess I do use crutches but it's been 10 years so I keep forgetting about it" and only actively think about that when the actual situation calls for it.

Your character could be 100% neutral about their disability and just think of their cane as something they carry around the same way they do with their house keys, or could be So Positive and make sure their cane compliments their outfit just right every time they leave the house. What I'd advise against is a character who dislikes their disability. Again, it probably could be done well if there was a lot of effort involved, but it's really not something I look forward to when we're talking about abled writers. Even if their intentions are good, or even if they want to show the diverse spectrum of disability (which again, is true! there are people who feel purely negatively about theirs), it feels weird. Like, why? I think that in 99% cases, those kinds of characters are better left off to disabled writers.

Last thing that I want to add: unless you're writing about ableism, or time-accurate historical fiction, don't use slurs. If you want to refer to some movements that use any of them (Cripplepunk) either shorten them (CPunk), beep the slur out, or at the very least acknowledge that they are slurs.

I hope that this helps!

mod Sasza

[thatstonedwriter]

˚₊‧🍄[ Pain in the Ass ]🍃˚₊‧

◉ Synopsis; Billy Butcher comforts(?) you as you deal with chronic pain

◉ CW; swearing, chronic pain, mentions of self-medication, references to ableism, Butcher might be a bit OOC (sorry), implied romantic attraction

◉ A/n- I’m still nervous about writing scenarios/short fics but i wanted to try it out since I really like this prompt. Hopefully it turned out alright- enjoy!

You’d done your best- really you had. All morning, quotes from people who thought they knew better, your parents, your own fucking doctors- everybody saying it’s just “mind over matter”- echoing in your head. Classic platitudes you’ve heard since you were younger; people trying to relate, but instead, minimizing your pain.

“Oh yeah I get it- sometimes my stomach hurts, too.”

“Headaches suck but it could always be worse right?”

“You can’t let pain control you.”

“Fuck those stupid God damn- agh!”

Annoyed grumbles turn into a sharp gasp as another wave of pain shoots through your joints. This paired with the stomach/headache combo from this morning was really wearing you down.

And now you were reaching a point of desperation. The medicine you’d been prescribed proved itself useless against the pain today- and sure you could ask for some meds from Frenchie’s stash but… that option should be saved as a last resort. You could ask for help from Hughie, Kimiko or M.M. Surely one of them would be kind enough to pick up more of your prescription or grab you some heating pads- but then again, going out in public could put them at risk. You couldn’t ask them to put their lives in danger for something so trivial.

Never had it crossed your mind to ask Butcher for help. Worst case scenario, he kicks you out of the group for being weak- best case scenario? He says something ableist and leaves you to fend for yourself. No. You’re not dealing with that shit, especially not now.

A knock on the door to your little “bedroom” signaled that a higher power had other plans for you.

“Ya’alright in there, love?” Butcher’s voice, in any other scenario would have been a pleasant surprise- but in this moment of vulnerability? It was like hearing death bells toll.

“Yeah- yep- yep I’m good, thanks.” Your curt reply was not unusual to Butcher, but certainly not preferred. Slightly worrisome, even. You hadn’t come out all morning, and now you’re miffed with him? He hadn’t even done anything to piss you off! Today, at least.

He tries the doorknob, letting out a frustrated huff when it turns out to be locked.

"Trying to let yourself in? See, you're why God made locks."

"Come now, no need for the 'ostility-"

You rolled your eyes as Butcher began his usual spew of excuses, but one in particular caught your attention. It was near the end of his little monologue- softer, quieter, and spoken with a hint of uncertainty.

"and besides… can't have ya crappin' out on us, yeah?"

Even from in your room, you could hear the uncomfortable shuffling of a man unacquainted with emotional vulnerability.

"I'm not 'crapping out' on anyone," you scoff, wincing as more pain sears through your body. "But.. I could use some hel- hey!"

Before you could even finish your sentence, the door "magically" opened- and there Butcher stood, sly smirk on his face, lockpick in hand. He catches your gaze and shoves the pick back in his pocket.

"So then, what seems to be the problem, eh?"

God, it's going to sound so ridiculous when you say it out loud. Compared to what everyone's been through, saying "my tummy hurts" isn't really a matter of urgency.

But it's more than a stomach or headache on it's own. It's more than your joints occasionally aching and popping. It's been every goddamn day for as long as you could remember. Would it really be so wrong to ask for help?

“It’s just been.. pain. All day.”

“Is that all? A’right, where does it ‘urt?”

“…Everywhere. All the time.”

Your response caught Butcher off-guard. He’d been expecting some minor complaints, or even a sarcastic retort about what an ass he was being. The cocky, confident expression was replaced with one of concern as he caught a glimpse of the medications littering the nightstand. Surprisingly enough, they were all your own prescriptions. Probably not strong enough for whatever you were dealing with, Butcher reckons.

“You tried Frenchie’s stash?” he sighs, playful demeanor gone as he goes fishing in his pocket for cigarettes and a light.

“I’m.. saving that as a last resort.”

Butcher lets out a ‘hmph’ as he lights a cigarette, taking a long drag and blowing the smoke out the door.

“What d’ya need?”

“Sorry?”

He takes another drag, this time blowing the smoke out his nose. “Make me a list, I can grab what’cha need.”

It was hard to tell whether or not Butcher was annoyed with you. On one hand, you could appreciate the concern. On the other, it was almost certain Butcher was frustrated with this show of “weakness.” It took you a moment to find the right words- not necessarily wanting to decline the offer, but hesitant to voice your needs.

“You don’t need to grab anything. Meds aren’t helping today, and I can’t ask you to put yourself at risk. But if you’re offering… I wouldn’t mind some company…”

Uneasy silence smothered the room until Butcher finally sighed, dropping his cig on the floor and putting it out before walking into the room, taking long, slow steps. He grabs a nearby chair, loud scraping assaulting your ears as Butcher drags it to the side of your bed, plopping himself down and crossing his arms. More uncomfortable silence envelops the two of you until you decide to speak up.

"You don't have to be here if you don't want to, y'know."

"I know," Butcher mumbles. He glances at you out of the side of his eye, gaze softening as he watches you wince as yet another wave of pain rolls through your body.

Black spots invade your vision as the aching in your body worsens. You let out a low groan, hands gripping the sheets tightly as you wait for this wave to pass.

A larger, calloused hand covers one of yours, startling you enough to open your eyes. Through the black spots, you swore you could see Butcher's hand on yours, thumb rubbing your knuckles softly.

"You'll uh.. You'll be a'right."

You let out a weak laugh at the awkward, but sweet attempt at comfort.

With how little you'd expected from him, this gentle, caring side to Butcher was a welcome surprise. As the pain dissipates, your eyes begin to flutter closed.

"How about ya take it easy today. I'll tell the others not to bother ya, and I'll come back 'n keep ya company." Butcher's voice is soft- unexpectedly considerate.

Nodding weakly, you lean your head back, shifting against the pillows to get comfortable once again.

Butcher squeezes your hand, keeping a firm hold on you as you drift back to sleep.

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Piece of Paper (S.R.)

Summary: Spencer and Reader discuss Autism evaluations.

Request: reader tells spencer "i think im autistic" and he’s like "wait you've never been evaluated/diagnosed??" and he helps her advocate for an evaluation or some other kind of support? A/N: I’m sorry if this isn’t exactly what you wanted, Anon, but this is the experience I would like to share as a person who was diagnosed as a toddler 🫶 Couple: Spencer Reid/GN!Reader Category: Comfort/Fluff Content Warning: Autism assessment/Anti-Autistic mentions, implied abuse/gaslighting, minor self-hatred, internalized ableism Word Count: 1k

MASTERLIST

The bullpen was as quiet as it ever was. The bustling crowds had passed through and returned to the comfort of their home. All that remained were those with deadlines, no date life, or neurodivergent tendencies.

You peeked across the desk to notice how Spencer’s hyper-focus had finally faded, leaving him now spinning in his chair while he stared at the ceiling.

“Hey, Spencer?” you called, “Can I ask you a kind of personal question?”

His chair came to a halt.

“Sure, but I’m not sure if I’ll have a satisfying answer,” he chuckled.

You floundered for a moment, struggling to come up with an appropriate way to ask your question. Yet, when you did finally speak, you were anything but eloquent.

“What was it like when you were diagnosed with Autism?”

“Oh!” he said excitedly, “I’ve actually never been assessed.”

Immediately, your face began to burn, and your stomach churned with the realization you’d just made a number of possibly rude assumptions.

“Oh, my gosh, I’m so sorry—“

“I’m not offended,” he reassured you with a smile, “I agree with your assessment.”

You smiled at the wordplay, but the intensity of his gaze drove your eyes back to the mess of paperwork on your desk.

“Can I ask why?” you asked.

Spencer didn’t seem to mind at all that you stared at the desk instead of him. He offered his explanation with his normal enthusiasm.

“My mom wasn’t exactly the biggest fan of psychiatrists.”

Understandable. Neither were you.

“Plus,” he trailed off. You turned to find him staring at the ceiling again. He rocked the chair back and forth as he said somewhat solemnly, “the world isn’t particularly fond of Autistic people.”

The words felt like a blow to your chest. Like your heart had turned to stone or something unbearably cold.

“Ah,” you sigh. You brought a hand to your face to try to hide the disappointment.

Spencer, still looking above you both, didn’t even notice the shift in tone.

“Why do you ask?”

“Nothing,” you replied, “It’s nothing, it’s stupid.”

Even he couldn’t miss the sadness in your voice, though. After a moment of uncomfortable silence, you heard the realization hit him with a gasp.

“Were you planning on scheduling an assessment?”

“I was considering it, but… I don’t know if I should.”

There were a lot of reasons why that was the case — self doubt, fear of the unknown, chronic gaslighting — but you didn’t want to go into all of that. Instead, you chose to sympathize with the plight he’d already shared with you.

“Because you’re right, other people are… not very receptive to the diagnosis.”

Some more than the rest.

Spencer paused for a second, even though you knew he wanted to say something. For a moment, he wrestled with the right words and the right tone to prevent his anger from projecting onto the wrong person.

“Would you be doing it for them?” he asked, “The other people?”

It seemed like a silly question… one you’d never really stopped to ask yourself.

“What do you mean?”

That time, when Spencer started speaking, you couldn’t find it in you to stop him. You stayed silent because you knew he was offering you his unfiltered thoughts on something personal to him. 

“I mean… why do you want someone else to tell you? I don’t want to talk you out of something that would bring you peace of mind, but I would encourage you to ask yourself if that’s really the reason you’re doing it, because that piece of paper can make a lot of things much harder for you. Immigration, medical decision making, adoption, child rearing, hell, even your job… that target on your back will impact aspects of your life that you’ve probably never even considered it would.”

You sat there, soaking in the hopelessness of the moment. You begged your heart to slow down, but it continued racing along with your thoughts.

Ultimately, there was nothing left to be said but, “Yeah, you’re right.”

“Did I upset you?”

There was a subtle regret in his voice, but you knew it had needed to be said. That bluntness, that unfiltered honesty had been exactly why you’d asked him.

So, you managed a smile as you thanked him the best way you knew how; by telling him the truth. 

“No, I appreciate your honesty.”

He responded with his own.

“Okay. I’m still sorry, though.”

“Thanks,” you said, although you’d meant ‘Me too.’ 

Spencer didn’t respond. Instead, he turned and scrambled to find a blank sheet among his notebooks. At first, you thought nothing of it. But once you heard him scribble something onto a piece of paper that was immediately ripped from its place, you turned to him.

His eyes remained fixed on the note he’d just written while he spoke.

“At the end of the day, no matter how badly we want to believe things will change… the people who don’t believe you now… they won’t believe a piece of paper, either,” he said.

Then, standing from his chair, Spencer closed the space between you, note in hand. He clutched it tightly between his fingers that were held against his chest.

“But if it helps, I believe you.”

Tears sprung from your eyes so quickly that you weren’t sure what to do with them. You decided to let them sit there, to soak in the saltwater reminder that you were not nearly as inhuman as the others made you seem. And when Spencer held out his hand to offer you the lifeline on lined paper, you took it.

He smiled.

“A doctor’s note, in case you ever need it.”

Spencer returned to his desk without another word. You set the piece of paper down and decided that, when you were ready, you would see what he’d had to say.

Then, when you were ready, you would find the handwritten message: 

“You are the only expert of your life. You already know the answer.”

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[what-shitfuckery-is-this-ew]

A Critique of Riordan's: Neurodivergency

tldr: Rick made ADHD and dyslexia superpowers in the books which fit the time he wrote the books, but it's not accepted now cause it diminishes neurodivergent struggle. At the same time he made autism coded characters the 'annoying' ones and had a very racist thing of having the only neurotypical be Frank.

He tried to fix it in the show. It worked for about 3 seconds.

TW: Ableism, Autism speaks mention, r slur, anti-schizo stuff.

This paragraph is useless so don't read if you don't want to: Sitting in my drafts are 3 different 'A critique of Riordan's' posts i made as i tried to redo my full critique of the Riordanverse with a little more positive feedback and a little less Rick Riordan is the devil spawn. I have decided to not do it in order because because i watched the show and i noticed some things which were iffy and others which were great. So yeah neurodivergency first. Enjoy and think Critically.

Books

Research and Diversity

The books were written in the early 2000s for Rick's son who has ADHD and dyslexia

As a result, it takes on a very "your ADHD and dyslexia is a superpower" message which were popular during the time, but we recognise now has delegitimised neurodivergent struggles

Also as a result, the books were very focused on his son's symptoms, and represented ADHD as a monolith which quickly turned into stereotypes (e.g jumpy, impatient and fast reflexes becoming the connecting feature of half-bloods)

It got so unresearched that at one point he said:

He also talks about coffee in a similar way, despite sugar and coffee not making us more hyperactive and instead making us sleepy. Unless all the scientists and people with ADHD are wrong i really don't know this works.

and also said this: "Leo was extremely ADHD even by demigod standards" Like what

But the worst part about the PJO books was that the neurodivergency was limited to the first book. Percy's ADHD and dyslexia magically vanish and honestly it's only really brought back up in HOO every now and then (not very well might i add)

Ways he could have improved:

He could have given other characters, like Annabeth, more diverse symptoms of ADHD. It wasn't that hard, For Annabeth recognise that she as a 'gifted kid' is more likely to have undiagnosed and so have to face the issues related to being undiagnosed and/or being both a gifted kid and having ADHD, and then also give her more symptoms common to girls like being really chatty or frequently daydreaming.

Continuing having ADHD (and dyslexia) as constant parts of the novels rather than throwaway lines. Build it into the characters actions and persona rather than add it on like an accessory

Research. Never stop researching. Always reach out to people with the disorders and ask them to help. Writing is nothing without research.

Get sensitivity readers

Grammar

This is really minor, but he keeps say ____ was ADHD, and like gramattically that's a no. I am not a disorder i am a person with a disorder . Note for autism, the prefered grammer is Autistic person (aka turn into adjective and describe, something we can't do with ADHD)

Nico and Leo

Making Leo and Nico the 2 characters who were annoying and unlikeable (to everyone else not to fans) was really weird cause these 2 characters were the autistic coded ones.

NOTE: I did see a post explaining it better in the past, and i will link it when/if i find it again.

Tyson and the R Slur

I genuinely think he tried to make the r-slur scene show that it was bad, but the way Percy reacted to it wasn't quite right. Especially for childrens books these things need to be really clear. So it was good to make a bad bully character who was hated say it, but he could have made it better by skipping Percy saying "He’s not r*tarded" and go straight to "I had to try really, really hard not to punch Sloan the face."

The scene was ok, it could have been better, but again these were written in the 2000s, we have to acknowledge that.

Percy and School

Now this is interesting because this is more recent. Percy tried really hard in school and was smart, it was part of his characterisation. But he never did well in school, because that's how his disability affected him (especially since it was the American school system which we all know is shit and even more shit for people with learning disabilities).

The problem stems from TSATS, where Percy is made out to skip school, and not try at all (feeds into people with ADHD do bad cause they don't try/are lazy)

credits to @aroaceleovaldez

Racism: Frank Zhang

Frank Zhang the only Asian member of the 7 has no form of neurodivergency, despite the rest of them all having. It must be a just coincidence that there's a stereotype that asians are really smart and good at maths and the fact that the rest of the Romans have dyscalculia/s.

It's not weird at all that the character instead has lactose intolerance, which is really common in East Asia unlike dyslexia, ADHD or dyscalculia, which has such a low rate of diagnosis because there is a large stigma behind the disorders and because white people don't think Asians can have learning disabilities/s. No not weird at all that the dude is described with symptoms of dyspraxia but Rick refuses to recognise he is not neurotypical/s

I'm stepping out of sarcasm speak to remind you that Asians with learning disabilities are significantly less likely to get diagnosed with anything because:

because their parents won't let them until they have no other choice (glares at my parents) because there's a massive stigma behind intellectual/learning/development disorders in these communities

When we do try to get diagnosed our claims are diminished because of racist stereotypes and the belief that booksmarts/giftedness = no learning disability. It means most psychologists and psychiatrists (who are usually white) think that all Asians are smart so they don't ever have any form of neurodivergency and we're left to struggle.

Schizo Rep

Octavian. Villain. Schizo. Again.

Do i even need to explain this?

Show

Not actually a specific disorder - Percy just has a learning disability

Interestly Percy's dyslexia is just never talked about, And even his ADHD is never mentioned by name. He's got a random learning disorder which isn't specified. At first i assumed it was still ADHD cause the books, but watching more, you realise they aren't actually focusing on what learning disorder he has and what he has to deal with as a result of that. It's just a generic learning disorder.

Which is weird because learning disorders are all different and we all face different things, even with the same disorder. So placing all learning disorders in the same group? not good. Don't know what i expected from disney, but it wasn't this.

Autism Speaks

So the show tried to acknowledge that Percy was constantly told he was special and heroic when he really wanted to have help for his issues and for people to recognise that he has problems and those are bad. It also represented less stereotypical adhd symptoms (though whether that's because the disorder is no longer adhd or whether they wanted more inattentive symptoms to be present, we'll never know)

but then it went ahead and used a broken puzzle metaphor for his neurodivergency?

Puzzle piece metaphors when talking about any form of neurodivergency are a no go because the creators of the metaphor literally want Autistic people dead.

I DON'T GIVE A SHIT THAT HE DOESN'T HAVE AUTISM, WE ARE NOT ALLIES TO THE AUTISM COMMUNITY IF WE USE THE LANGUAGE AUTISM SPEAKS CREATED

Not only that but a broken puzzle is not a good way to represent us anyways because NEURODIVERGENTS AREN'T BROKEN.

[autumnteawithfriends]

TW for Ableism and mentions of potential death

Honestly, something I want to say is that Viv also feels ableist towards people with epilepsy as well like-

I’m a person with frontal lobe epilepsy and I wasn’t diagnosed and medicated until 2023 (which is a story that’ll strictly stay personal) and the fact that Viv doesn’t add warning for flashing light or bright colors angers me.

During the times I wasn’t medicated, I was a Helluva Boss fan back then before I left when The Circus dropped and something I realized when I switched to the critical side is that Helluva Boss might’ve given me minor seizures (more specifically the ones where you space out)

Let me use Ozzie’s as a example

This episode is the ONLY Helluva Boss episode that has given me eyestrain considering how bright the colors on the character designs are + Ozzie’s flames being bright as shit during his song and the fact that there wasn’t a brightness or flash warning on the episode pisses me off because back when the episode came out, I could’ve been spaced out for either 30 minutes or ONE HOUR

So while I thankfully never got a major seizure from the show (aka Tonic Clonic seizures, those have a chance of actually killing you) the fact that Viv never included a color/flash in the episode warnings pisses me the fuck off because someone with epilepsy that’s effected majorly by flashing lights could’ve DIED because of her careless. I’m thankful to have the type where only strobe lights effect me badly

To conclude, Viv is also ableist towards people with epilepsy (or at least a careless jackass) because what the fuck