josejdansereau

[nick-cassidy]

daniil medvedev insta story

[melefim]

Dead Boy Detectives: Swearing by Word posts will start going up tomorrow!

First up will be everyone’s favorite from my last poll, Fuck! After that, we’ll have Bloody and Bloody Hell.

In fact, those options were so popular that over 75% of you voted for them, so I’m throwing in one last ‘choose your posting order’ poll before we get this ball rolling- choose wisely!

Stay tuned for more swear-y charts starting tomorrow!

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And if you like lists of things like I do, you can check out my other Dead Boy Detectives ones here!

Swearing Masterlist

When Charles’ Shirt Colors Change

George Rextrew’s Edwin comic inspo board

Full soundtrack with timestamps

Moves, Incidents, and Cases Masterlist

First pass at finding where the songs in the score are used- full post with timestamps in progress

[jaywaslost]

Schrödinger's Paradox

——

HAPPY BIRTHDAY POOKIE @asukamood!!!!!!

In your honor, Dream has been hurt✨️

——

Sypnosis: Sometimes he still feels like parts of him are stuck in the statue he became so familiar with. Cemented to the ground, solid, leaving him hollow with a duty too big and a mind that can only take so much.

For the first time in his life, that night, Dream prayed.

Word count: 3.5k

Trigger warnings?: dissociation, brief reference of child neglect

Everyone has a limit.

Every human, monster, and those in between.

There was only so much one could take before they broke. The mind is a weak, weak thing. Ever so capable, yet the ease at which it can be broken down is baffling. One traumatic experience after the other was all it took to leave someone a shell of what they once were, and it wasn’t like that was hard to achieve.

Dream knew that very well.

A person whose life had been planned out from the very beginning, a lamb to the slaughter since his first breath.

For a guardian of positivity, he was far from being optimistic about his predicament. It’s quite difficult to be once you run out of things to use for distractions, 500 years and counting, he couldn’t remember the last time he felt in control.

Maybe it was the day he woke up from his stone prison. Merely a child, trapped in stone by the one he cared for the most. Very few moments left Dream feeling as helpless as he did back then, although there wasn’t anywhere to go once rock bottom was hit.

He remembers worrying about his brother’s whereabouts that day, uncertain and afraid of everything around him. Nothing looked the way he remembered, the land was barren and the village (or what used to be one) was reduced to nothing. The woman who freed him sounded strange, but she was the only other live presence near him.

Dream remembers trying to understand what she said, waiting for his chance to speak and ask where his family had gone- where everyone was, they wouldn’t have abandoned him so suddenly, would they? H̶e̶ w̶a̶s̶n̶'t̶ e̶n̶t̶i̶r̶e̶l̶y̶ u̶s̶e̶l̶e̶s̶s̶ j̶u̶s̶t̶ y̶e̶t̶.

When his eyes landed on the stump of the tree that once contained his mother’s spirit, time felt like it had frozen.

Between the throb of his aching limbs, the ringing in his head, and the sheer horror at the sight before him, he could no longer concentrate. He didn’t notice the lack of oxygen in his system until black spots had begun to cloud his vision, head heavy and heart aching. The woman yanked on his cape in an attempt to get his attention back,scoffing as he fell without a word. T̶h̶e̶ g̶l̶a̶r̶e̶ s̶h̶e̶ g̶a̶v̶e̶ h̶i̶m̶ f̶a̶r̶ t̶o̶o̶ r̶e̶m̶i̶n̶i̶s̶c̶e̶n̶t̶ o̶f̶ t̶h̶e̶i̶r̶s̶ f̶o̶r̶ c̶o̶m̶f̶o̶r̶t̶.

She introduced herself as Lanny, a supposed friend of his mother’s, an ‘aunt’ of his. The name felt slightly familiar, but it rang no bells.

It was safe to say she made sure he’d never forget her after that.

As if his confusion and fear weren’t enough, her words stung like knives. She didn’t take long to tell him what he missed, straight to the point, like she always is.

“Your brother is dead.”

Dream refused to believe her at first, in fact, he had laughed at her words. Her glare sharpened as the situation truly sunk in, his mind bringing all the memories from before his ‘coma’ rushing at him.

The villagers chanting, his brother’s screams, the sickening sound of bones shattering, his pleas, he wanted to throw up.

His last words.

“Don’t forget who I used to be”

Don’t forget who I used to be.

Don’t forget who I used to be.

Ḏ̴̢̱̩̩̙̜̘̯̣̰͎͖̖͇̂̇̈́̂̈́̈́̊̃̂͒͐̌͝O̸̡͙̤̠͙̻̭̖̲̲̣̖͉̒̃̔͐̏̔Ń̶̡̨̧̹̯͔̼̝͓̻̫̪̜̒̎̅̓͊’̷̛͔͎̼̽́͒̆̀͒̇͐̇̀̕͜͝͠͠Ṱ̴̨̙̝̱́̒̈̈́̄͆̈́ ̴̘̲̘̓͊͝͝F̶̠͈̹͔̫̰̈́̓͋͒̅̀̏̋̆̑̍͝ͅƠ̴̡̮̖̺̟̟̈̈́̀̍̀̔͐̍̐̆̕͜͝R̸̢̛̫̳̬̗̠̣̗̿͝͠Ǵ̷̡̙̩͔͎̼̞̻̫̫̬̜̽̈́̽͌̽͊̀͂̀͆̽̄͝ͅE̷͈̥͉͓͙̞̓̌͊̈͐̾̆̃̾̽̈ͅͅT̵̡̢̬̜͉̣͈̖̟̟̟̻̼̳̿̓̏͗͋͑͌̔͘-̵͖͓̪̹̈́̂̊

He never felt so lost in his life.

Maybe it was the first time he felt another person’s feelings instead of his own.

Emotions are a complicated concept but one he considered himself good at understanding his entire life. T̶h̶a̶t̶ i̶s̶, u̶n̶t̶i̶l̶ i̶t̶ a̶c̶t̶u̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ m̶a̶t̶t̶e̶r̶e̶d̶. H̶i̶s̶ i̶g̶n̶o̶r̶a̶n̶c̶e̶ l̶e̶d̶ t̶o̶ t̶h̶i̶s̶, h̶e̶ d̶i̶d̶n̶'t̶ d̶e̶s̶e̶r̶v̶e̶ t̶o̶ c̶o̶m̶p̶l̶a̶i̶n̶.

It was during the first ‘lesson’ Lanny had given him. The woman didn’t explain her reasoning, nor did she truly teach him anything.

She would attack and he would need to defend himself, a moment of hesitation would simply mean the end.

If it were just physical he could’ve handled it, he wasn’t normal by any means, but being unbelievably disoriented with the new sensations did him no favor.

He paused, he tried to ask for help, clarification, but all he got in return was a mouth full of blood and more bruises.

To put it simply: she was ruthless. By the end, he was sore all over, more disoriented than he was before.

It did him no good, it felt less like training and more like he was getting beaten up everyday as a way for her to take her anger out. She constantly reminded him how he was part of the main reason his mother was forever gone, he couldn’t deny it either. Selfishly, he wanted to believe he did nothing wrong. She was his mother, she was meant to be there, yet she never was.

Part of him understood why Nightmare had decided to cut her, and it made him feel like the worst person alive.

She wasn’t fully alive, she wasn’t capable like they were. They existed only because of that, no more, no less. To carry out a job she was too weak to do alone because of those around them.

She never wanted children.

I̶f̶ a̶ g̶r̶o̶w̶n̶ g̶u̶a̶r̶d̶i̶a̶n̶ c̶o̶u̶l̶d̶n̶'t̶ h̶a̶n̶d̶l̶e̶ i̶t̶, w̶h̶a̶t̶ m̶a̶d̶e̶ h̶e̶r̶ t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶ s̶i̶x̶ y̶e̶a̶r̶ o̶l̶d̶ c̶h̶i̶l̶d̶r̶e̶n̶ c̶o̶u̶l̶d̶?̶

Maybe that was Lanny’s way of making him repay her, for all the trouble he had put her through, all the problems he caused and never even tried to fix.

Simply paying the price for the pain he caused.

H̶e̶ w̶a̶s̶ a̶ c̶h̶i̶l̶d̶. S̶h̶e̶ w̶a̶s̶ t̶h̶o̶u̶s̶a̶n̶d̶s̶ o̶f̶ y̶e̶a̶r̶s̶ o̶l̶d̶. S̶h̶e̶ k̶n̶e̶w̶ b̶e̶t̶t̶e̶r̶.

His body felt like it was on fire, the first day he couldn’t help but cry to himself. It hurt, his chest felt like it was going to burst, but he couldn’t stop.

The tears didn’t stop coming, making everything worse.

Eventually, they stopped. His energy was lower than ever, but he couldn’t bring himself to rest. It was unbelievably cold, all alone without anyone near him.

No one to sit by, no one to speak to, no one for comfort.

He had to grow some tolerance to the cold, as Lanny said. If he was going to survive he needed to be able to handle some weather conditions or else he had no chance.

As time passed, he found himself tracing cracks in his bones.

Being a statue for so long doesn’t come without consequence. Stone withers, so did his bones. Tiny parts of his fingers had been chipped off, lengthy cracks down his arms and some even reaching his legs.

Ironically enough, his face, if not counting the damage Lanny did, was untouched.

His clothing and gloves covered all the damage, the pressure they put on his bones helped him ignore the sensation a little more easily. It wasn’t like they’d heal for a long time, but he had no choice there.

Sometimes he still feels like parts of him are stuck in the statue he became so familiar with. Cemented to the ground, solid, leaving him hollow with a duty too big and a mind that can only take so much.

For the first time in his life, that night, Dream prayed.

Never once had things gone easy, but he was desperate for a change.

He had always been the desperate type, though.

Hadn’t he?

The most familiar feeling to him was a sense of hopeless desperation. It was the only part of himself that he could pick out when his own feelings were overcrowded by other people’s in his vicinity.

A need he choked on constantly, a yearning on the tip of his tongue that he never truly got out.

He ignored the way his hands went numb, his knees scraping against the ground, blood seeping from every wound left on him. He wasn’t sure how long it was that he stayed in that position, but in the safety of only his own presence, he poured everything out.

He begged as tears rolled down once more, begged that this would all end soon and that he would go back to how things used to be before.

What he would give to take away all the pain his brother had gone through.

He could handle it, he deserved it, he’s the reason for the way things ended up.

If he was a better sibling, if he tried harder, if he spent more time with him, maybe they would’ve still been at the tree, laughing with eachother.

Maybe their mother would’ve been there.

Maybe the villagers would have been nicer.

Treated them better.

Heartbreak followed him wherever he went. A defining part of him. He had plenty to be heart broken about, didn’t he?

The loss of everything when his life had just begun.

He never got the chance to live, never had his first friendship, never had a home.

He never even got to understand himself before everything crumbled.

It left a gaping hole inside of him, one nothing could fill.

Time passed, Lanny left him alone, but the effects of her actions lasted.

It wasn’t until he came face-to-face with the monster that had taken his brother as a vessel that he understood.

Understood the true impact his actions had.

The reason for her insistence.

The malice in her voice.

The most naive part of him believed his brother was still there. That maybe, just maybe, he could have the final conversation he wanted so badly with the other before everything crumbled, but all he got instead was a sickening sense of grief.

A sense of impending doom.

It took him what felt like an eternity to breathe again, but even then, the air felt unbearably heavier than before.

T̶h̶e̶ t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ i̶n̶ f̶r̶o̶n̶t̶ o̶f̶ h̶i̶m̶ w̶a̶s̶ i̶n̶ n̶o̶ w̶a̶y̶ h̶i̶s̶ b̶r̶o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶. I̶t̶'s̶ s̶m̶i̶l̶e̶s̶, t̶h̶e̶ l̶o̶o̶k̶ i̶n̶ i̶t̶s̶ e̶y̶e̶, i̶t̶ s̶h̶o̶o̶k̶ h̶i̶m̶ t̶o̶ h̶i̶s̶ c̶o̶r̶e̶.

W̶a̶s̶ t̶h̶a̶t̶ w̶h̶e̶n̶ h̶e̶ f̶e̶l̶t̶ i̶t̶ a̶l̶l̶ f̶a̶l̶l̶ a̶p̶a̶r̶t̶ f̶o̶r̶ t̶h̶e̶ f̶i̶r̶s̶t̶ t̶i̶m̶e̶?̶ H̶i̶s̶ f̶r̶a̶g̶i̶l̶e̶ h̶o̶p̶e̶, u̶n̶a̶n̶s̶w̶e̶r̶e̶d̶ p̶r̶a̶y̶e̶r̶s̶, t̶h̶e̶ w̶e̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ o̶f̶ i̶t̶ a̶l̶l̶ l̶a̶i̶d̶ i̶t̶s̶e̶l̶f̶ t̶h̶i̶c̶k̶.

Fighting the very thing that turned his life upside down left him severely unsettled, that much was to be expected.

What wasn’t though, was the way it left him even more dazed than he had been for years before.

It claimed the name of his brother, but the idea of referring to it by that made him feel worse.

If it were a one time thing, he wouldn’t have been so shaken up, but the frequency of these encounters after Lanny had left him never left a chance to rest.

It didn’t take him long to realize it was hunting him down specifically.

H̶a̶d̶ i̶t̶ b̶e̶e̶n̶ d̶o̶i̶n̶g̶ t̶h̶a̶t̶ t̶h̶e̶ e̶n̶t̶i̶r̶e̶ t̶i̶m̶e̶?̶

Every interaction left Dream feeling more distant than the last, like he was watching himself in third person. Always present, but not quite there.

With time, it became easier to retaliate, but the grief never left.

Every scar was a reminder of his failures.

Every word imprinted in his head.

Maybe, if he had learned of things earlier, he wouldn’t be fighting a parasite with a familiar face.

One wearing the past so clearly.

The world faded into a haze, it hurt less that way.

The idea of interacting with others whilst he was constantly chased sounded both exhausting and like more trouble than it was worth. Despite that, they never seemed to leave him.

His presence was comforting by nature, even attracting animals to him since he was a child. People would be no different. I̶s̶o̶l̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ h̶a̶v̶e̶ b̶e̶e̶n̶ w̶o̶r̶s̶e̶, b̶u̶t̶ h̶e̶ c̶r̶a̶v̶e̶d̶ i̶t̶ m̶o̶r̶e̶ t̶h̶a̶n̶ a̶n̶y̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶.

It wouldn’t have been such a problem if some of them didn’t become so..obsessive.

They wanted to feel good, he made it easy.

A simple prospect.

H̶e̶ c̶o̶u̶l̶d̶n̶'t̶ b̶e̶g̶i̶n̶ t̶o̶ c̶o̶u̶n̶t̶ t̶h̶e̶ n̶u̶m̶b̶e̶r̶ o̶f̶ t̶i̶m̶e̶s̶ t̶h̶e̶y̶ w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ t̶h̶r̶e̶a̶t̶e̶n̶ h̶i̶m̶, t̶h̶r̶e̶a̶t̶e̶n̶ o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶s̶, e̶v̶e̶n̶ t̶h̶e̶m̶s̶e̶l̶v̶e̶s̶, t̶o̶ g̶e̶t̶ h̶i̶m̶ t̶o̶ s̶t̶a̶y̶.

N̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ o̶n̶c̶e̶ w̶a̶s̶ h̶i̶s̶ p̶e̶r̶s̶p̶e̶c̶t̶i̶v̶e̶ c̶o̶n̶s̶i̶d̶e̶r̶e̶d̶.

He didn’t get a say, he owed them it.

He was their guardian, if he couldn’t provide them the positivity to keep going with their days, who would?

If he wasn’t happy to do so, who would be?

If he wasn’t happy, how were they meant to believe they could ever be?

It didn’t matter what he did, said, wanted, none of it mattered. He had to stay and play the role he was assigned.

If not him, then who?

He didn’t need their comfort the way they needed his, he had time to get over it all.

He didn’t need companions, his presence was bound to catch up and hurt them eventually.

It was never just him.

When it finally did, some accused him of intentionally leading ‘Nightmare’ to them.

Intentionally harming them for everything.

Too selfish to help them, he tried to ‘get rid’ of them.

He didn’t argue, guilt made its presence known, but it had finally given him reason to go.

T̶h̶e̶ a̶c̶h̶e̶ f̶r̶o̶m̶ w̶h̶e̶r̶e̶ h̶i̶s̶ a̶r̶m̶ h̶a̶d̶ p̶r̶e̶v̶i̶o̶u̶s̶l̶y̶ b̶e̶e̶n̶ m̶a̶d̶e̶ h̶i̶m̶ m̶o̶r̶e̶ l̶i̶g̶h̶t̶ h̶e̶a̶d̶e̶d̶ t̶h̶a̶n̶ h̶e̶'d̶ h̶a̶v̶e̶ l̶i̶k̶e̶d̶ t̶o̶ a̶d̶m̶i̶t̶. W̶h̶a̶t̶ a̶ w̶a̶y̶ t̶o̶ f̶i̶n̶d̶ o̶u̶t̶ t̶h̶e̶ r̶e̶s̶u̶l̶t̶s̶ o̶f̶ t̶h̶e̶ h̶e̶s̶i̶t̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ L̶a̶n̶n̶y̶ w̶a̶r̶n̶e̶d̶ h̶i̶m̶ s̶o̶ m̶u̶c̶h̶ a̶g̶a̶i̶n̶s̶t̶.

In his daze, he didn’t focus on where he went, portal after portal to go somewhere far from others.

It wasn’t until someone tapped him on the shoulder and spoke that he realized how far he’d gone.

The other was unfamiliar, a face Dream hadn’t encountered before, nor did they seem to recognize who he was.

With a smile on his face, he introduced himself and asked about the place.

His question was answered quickly, but before he could ask their name back, he was getting dragged somewhere by his other arm.

T̶h̶e̶y̶ r̶e̶a̶l̶i̶z̶e̶d̶, d̶i̶d̶n̶'t̶ t̶h̶e̶y̶?̶

To his surprise, the other’s actions were caused by concern.

He was injured, yes, but it wasn’t easy to tell (with the exception of the arm he was missing as of mere moments ago. It wasn’t like it was bloody, his magic handled that very quickly).

They introduced themselves as Swap, but said to just call them Blue.

Without question, the other began helping to dress his wounds.

Despite protest from Dream, Blue refused to let him leave hurt as he was. He couldn’t do anything about the glaring problem, but he wouldn’t just stand by.

D̶r̶e̶a̶m̶ w̶a̶s̶ a̶l̶r̶e̶a̶d̶y̶ p̶a̶n̶i̶c̶k̶i̶n̶g̶, t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ o̶f̶ h̶o̶w̶ h̶e̶ w̶a̶s̶ m̶e̶a̶n̶t̶ t̶o̶ r̶e̶p̶a̶y̶ t̶h̶e̶ d̶e̶b̶t̶ f̶r̶o̶m̶ t̶h̶i̶s̶.

He came up with an excuse to leave quickly after, which the other had let him do quite easily.

O̶d̶d̶l̶y̶ u̶n̶e̶x̶p̶e̶c̶t̶e̶d̶.

He retreated to a barren universe, unexpectedly finding Lanny waiting for him.

She ‘replaced’ the arm he lost and disappeared just as quickly as she came. A one time thing, according to her.

An archer is useless without both their arms, he’d be of no use the way he was.

That day was far from his last encounter with Blue, it seemed that every event from that point on pointed him towards the man.

In some weird twist of fate, they had become friends.

Dream had many doubts at first, how was he to know he wasn’t being used once again? Whether it was for things to be done or to feel good, he’d seen it all.

Over and over, Blue proved himself to be truly honest about his reasoning.

No ulterior motives, he didn’t care for what Dream provided, he cared for Dream alone.

It was strange, he refused to believe it for a long time.

The day he decided to take the risk and trust that, a weight was taken off of him.

The other stuck by him, he wanted him for him, he wouldn’t dare burden him.

The same way he used to as a child, he ran off every time he needed to express an emotion that was considered ‘wrong’ of him.

He couldn’t destroy the one friendship he had.

Vulnerability destroyed his mother, his brother, if he were to show it, it was a matter of time before it destroyed him too.

He had to be strong. There was a point to it all, he had to believe it.

If he didn’t, there was no telling how much longer he’d be able to hold on. He’d cling onto the belief, even as his hands went numb and the light died out.

He was never in control, he wouldn’t ever be.

The only decision he ever had to himself was where he let his heart out.

That was the case, at least. Until he was discovered that was.

R̶e̶m̶i̶n̶i̶s̶c̶e̶n̶t̶ o̶f̶ t̶h̶e̶ t̶i̶m̶e̶ N̶e̶i̶l̶ f̶o̶u̶n̶d̶ h̶i̶m̶ f̶o̶r̶ t̶h̶e̶ f̶i̶r̶s̶t̶ t̶i̶m̶e̶, e̶x̶c̶e̶p̶t̶ h̶e̶ w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ n̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ d̶o̶ s̶o̶ a̶g̶a̶i̶n̶. o̶n̶e̶ o̶f̶ t̶h̶e̶ m̶a̶n̶y̶ l̶o̶s̶t̶ b̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ o̶f̶ h̶i̶s̶ i̶n̶a̶c̶t̶i̶o̶n̶.

It was a familiar face, Blue had stumbled upon him while he was meant to be on a walk.

Every step he took towards him, Dream moved backwards.

He was discovered at his worst, that was it.

Despite how Blue stopped trying to approach him, Dream’s mind was racing to come up with an excuse for the situation.

He couldn’t speak.

It didn’t feel real.

He wondered, maybe for the 10th time that week, what it all was.

He was playing a game he could never win.

He felt trapped in his own body, watching his movements like a puppet rather than a person. A ghost, watching his life play out until he saw his corpse at the end and realized he was dead the entire time.

He couldn’t run.

He felt insane every time.

He didn’t put a name to this repetitive issue of his. He would need to confront it otherwise, it’d become too real.

C̶a̶l̶l̶i̶n̶g̶ i̶t̶ d̶i̶s̶s̶o̶c̶i̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ f̶e̶l̶t̶ l̶i̶k̶e̶ e̶x̶c̶u̶s̶e̶s̶, l̶i̶k̶e̶ i̶t̶ d̶i̶s̶c̶r̶e̶d̶i̶t̶e̶d̶ t̶h̶o̶s̶e̶ w̶h̶o̶ t̶r̶u̶l̶y̶ d̶i̶d̶ h̶a̶v̶e̶ t̶h̶e̶ p̶r̶o̶b̶l̶e̶m̶. H̶e̶ n̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ w̶a̶n̶t̶e̶d̶ t̶o̶ t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶ a̶b̶o̶u̶t̶ i̶t̶.

They ended up sitting together in silence, Dream trying to calm his racing mind as Blue stood far. He never asked anything, Dream was grateful.

They never spoke about that day again.

H̶e̶ w̶a̶s̶ s̶t̶i̶l̶l̶ u̶s̶e̶f̶u̶l̶, h̶e̶ w̶a̶s̶ w̶o̶r̶t̶h̶y̶ o̶f̶ b̶e̶i̶n̶g̶ a̶ g̶u̶a̶r̶d̶i̶a̶n̶, h̶e̶ h̶a̶d̶ t̶o̶ b̶e̶-̶

H̶e̶ c̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ d̶o̶ i̶t̶.

H̶e̶ d̶i̶d̶n̶'t̶ w̶a̶n̶t̶ t̶o̶ b̶e̶ d̶i̶s̶p̶o̶s̶e̶d̶ o̶f̶ j̶u̶s̶t̶ y̶e̶t̶.

They were back to normal for a while, Dream was more careful about his decisions.

Never again did he rush somewhere without checking his surroundings a million times for people, not just danger.

It was until Dream himself seeked the other out that either of them talked about anything.

Originally, they wanted to hang out for some time, but their conversation strayed.

The topic? Feelings.

Dream stayed quiet for the majority of it, his responses concerned with other people’s rather than his own. W̶a̶s̶ i̶t̶ b̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ o̶f̶ f̶e̶a̶r̶?̶ o̶r̶ t̶h̶e̶ f̶a̶c̶t̶ h̶e̶ c̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ h̶a̶r̶d̶l̶y̶ t̶e̶l̶l̶ t̶h̶e̶m̶ a̶p̶a̶r̶t̶?̶

Blue switched between asking, talking about things he's seen, and other times about some parts of him he had never shown anyone else.

If it was an attempt to encourage Dream to talk about his own, it was somewhat helpful. It was the most seen he's felt before without saying a word. Funnily enough, they had some very specific shared experiences Dream couldn’t have put into words if he tried.

He was close, very close, to saying more.

Ultimately, he stayed quiet.

If Blue noticed, he let him be.

I̶f̶ h̶e̶ d̶i̶d̶n̶'t̶ n̶o̶t̶i̶c̶e̶, n̶o̶ o̶n̶e̶ e̶l̶s̶e̶ e̶v̶e̶r̶ w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶. D̶r̶e̶a̶m̶ w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ l̶i̶k̶e̶ t̶o̶ p̶r̶e̶t̶e̶n̶d̶ h̶e̶ d̶i̶d̶n̶'t̶ e̶v̶e̶n̶ i̶f̶ f̶o̶r̶ h̶i̶s̶ o̶w̶n̶ s̶a̶n̶i̶t̶y̶.

About halfway through the conversation, he had started to reflect.

He never wanted to show anything besides happiness around others, motivating them more than he could do for himself.

He spent years trying to bury the part of him that pleaded for another person, to for once be comforted rather than blamed or being the comforter.

It never worked.

Everytime he cried, it felt like he was faking it all. He had his good days, it felt audacious of him to act miserable when he had what may be considered luxury to some. He had many years ahead of him, others were robbed of theirs early. He could get better c̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ h̶e̶?̶,, others died miserable.

And yet, it felt as if he told anyone, it would negate all his misery. All the years he spent alone, everything he went through, it wouldn’t sound as bad anymore. It felt like being happy betrayed all the time he spent questioning if he should’ve ever existed to begin with. It felt like it would betray all the guilt he carried for so long, like he never cared.

He didn’t want to get better.

Not saying anything back felt unfair, but the idea of revealing the darkest parts of himself was more terrifying than that.

As a way to compensate, he decided to take off a glove of his.

The one that covered his actual arm, all of the cracks and chips being on full display.

Blue went quiet at the sight, Dream didn’t dare break the silence. The other ended up taking his hand and tracing every crack as gently as he could.

Dream had never known what it felt like to be handled gently before.

The concept was foreign to him.

Another ironic part of him, isn’t it?

For a reason he didn’t know, he wasn’t as terrified as he felt before.

It didn’t mean he would change his mind, but it was comforting.

Maybe, in another lifetime, he wouldn’t be so flawed.

Maybe, in another lifetime, he’d have been okay.

Maybe, in another lifetime, he will be okay.

B̶u̶t̶, n̶o̶t̶ i̶n̶ t̶h̶i̶s̶ o̶n̶e̶. N̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ t̶h̶i̶s̶ o̶n̶e̶.

H̶e̶ h̶a̶d̶ t̶o̶o̶ m̶u̶c̶h̶ t̶o̶ d̶o̶.

T̶h̶e̶ g̶u̶a̶r̶d̶i̶a̶n̶ o̶f̶ p̶o̶s̶i̶t̶i̶v̶i̶t̶y̶, d̶o̶o̶m̶e̶d̶ t̶o̶ a̶ l̶i̶f̶e̶ o̶f̶ m̶i̶s̶e̶r̶y̶ u̶n̶t̶i̶l̶ i̶t̶ e̶n̶d̶e̶d̶ a̶n̶d̶ h̶e̶ r̶e̶l̶i̶v̶e̶d̶ i̶t̶ f̶r̶o̶m̶ t̶h̶e̶ v̶e̶r̶y̶ b̶e̶g̶i̶n̶n̶i̶n̶g̶.

Maybe, in another life, he wouldn’t have been so conflicting.

Maybe.

[thebirdandhersong]

Lol. Lol. Lol.

[hella1975]

(hella you dont have to answer this, just wanted to say it) i know you ofc know that grief is a really complicated n fickle feeling but. it is, so i hope u can give yourself that space to grieve and do whatever it takes...but also please take care of yourself. and we're both creators of stuff so i really get the feeling, but i promise youre not destined for getting worse or stuck in that. something similar happened to me my senior year and even if you didn't know him that well, you're allowed that space to feel too.

ik my words prob dont do much, and i dont pretend to know better than you about your hometown or life or anything like that, but im here if u wanna talk. i love u <3

thank you for this my love. this is so kind and you didnt need to say anything but you DID and im so grateful for that. i promise im okay and im very good at being able to tell what episodes are temporary and what are more serious, so i know this one is temporary and is more shock/natural sadness at hearing the news that will peter off over time, so im trying to just. let myself feel it all for now and then put it to rest after a couple days. im sorry you can relate at all, i feel like it's such a specific, strange kind of grief to explain, when it's someone you know very distantly and technically have no 'right' to grieve, because like you said, grief is complicated, and it doesn't care what right you have to it or not. which is something im having to remind myself of and tell myself im not being selfish or self-centred for feeling upset by this. ive reached out to one of my irls and im going to tell her tomorrow bc i trust her to be good about this, so as basic as that sounds that's a pretty huge thing for me and im hoping it'll help even if it is just. talking it out. idk. but i appreciate this and i appreciate you, ily bestie xx

[dustintrait]

didn’t realise mikey was going to age up so he didn’t get a birthday cake or anything which absolutely ruined his mood so he spent the rest of the day miserable This was the very first recorded case of a Major Mikey Moment 

[softgrungeprophet]

oh april fool's day means it's windowverse kaine's birthday lol

[luveline]

i have a request for roommate!spencer where he's just miserable that no one remembered his birthday at work but when he gets home his roommate just welcomes him with the most thoughtful gift and a warm hug PLEASE

thank you for requesting! <3 fem!reader

The lights are off. The air conditioning blows a shade too cold. Spencer shrugs off his jacket and acknowledges that, despite his awful, aching day, it’s nice to be home. 

The living room is clean where it hadn’t been this morning when he left. If he had to clean it by himself, he’d die. It must’ve taken a good hour or longer, even the floor shines sparkling clean. 

“Hey?” he asks into the open air, wondering where you are. 

“Spencer!” you yelp from the kitchen, “Hey, what took you so long? It’s almost seven!” 

He sighs to himself with a great dash of self-pity. “I know. Had to stay and finish something. You cleaned?” 

“I had to! Quick, come in here, I need your help with something.” 

He doesn’t want to help, he wants to lay down in bed. Spencer wonders how a normal person, a normal boy, would feel after a day like today. He wonders if Morgan would go home and lay in bed and cry. He wonders if it could ever be possible for everyone to forget Morgan’s birthday. 

Spencer hangs his jacket on the rack and puts his bag by the shoes. He’s tempted to go to bed and pretend he hasn’t heard you, but he supposes he shouldn’t. He’d sort of been hoping you’d text him happy birthday, and but that never happened. He doesn’t think anybody in the world besides his mom knows what day it is today, and Spencer had to remind her, so. 

“Spence,” you say, your smile of a calibre he’s never witnessed, standing in front of the kitchen island with your hands behind your back, “I hope you know I’ve been waiting two whole hours for you to get back. Actually, I’ve been waiting all day, but you can’t be blamed for working. Okay. Are you ready?” 

“Am I ready? What did you want help with?” 

You step to the side, grinning, the sleeves of your nice blouse like big, soft petals around your wrists and against your thighs. “Tada!” you say, guiding his attention to the silver platter on the countertop, a chocolate cake at centre stage and stuck with candles, flames aglow. “I rushed to light them when I heard the door,” you tell him, and he can hear your breathlessness now, your excitement for him evident. “A lot of candles, you’re getting old! Too old for chocolate sprinkle. I should’ve got you something sophisticated.” 

“You got me a cake?” 

“It’s your birthday,” you say happily. “Happy birthday, Spencer. I got you some presents, too, but the cake is the best, it’s from the Leaven. How fancy is that?” 

“Will you sing?” he asks. 

He doesn’t know why he asks. He’s mostly kidding, but you smile shyly and beckon him toward you. “I’ll sing. Come stand over here.” 

You sing him happy birthday, and he blows out his candles, only ten candles altogether but enough to feel like a kid as the heat kisses his chin. 

“Okay, and I got you this,” you say, finally pulling both hands from behind your back, seemingly eager to move the focus from your performance.

It’s a bundle about as thick as an average novel. He knows it’ll be books before he opens it, because you know him, and it’s in your nature to give him your everything. 

He doesn’t look at them. He takes the package blindly and shoves it onto the counter, wrapping you in a hug so hard it makes your back click. “I’m sorry,” he says, but he doesn’t let go. You don’t make him. “Sorry, I just– I–” You’re the only one who remembered. “Thank you for the cake.” 

You hug him not quite as hard, but tight. “Hey, it’s okay. I love you, you’re my best friend ever, you can pop me like a roll of dough any day of the week.” You might be exaggerating. Spencer doesn’t know. “But especially today, you know. You can have anything you want.” 

Spencer should let go. Anything you want, you’d said. He hugs you until he’s sure you’re sick of him, your thumb pressing little circles into his shoulder, his arms tucked up under your armpits and around your back. “Thanks,” you murmur.

“What?” he asks. “For what?” 

“For such a good hug. And being a great roommate. And for not complaining about the candles.” 

“The candles are perfect.” 

You lean back in his arms. “Thank you. Now what do you want first, cake or dinner?” 

Spencer really wants another hug. “Um. Cake?” 

“Good choice, handsome.”

His cheeks are pink by the time he gets a slice, but it’s the best birthday cake he’s ever had.

[foldingfittedsheets]

Back in the dawn of days I worked at Red Robin. It was my first real job after a brief stint at a dog kennel. Many people don’t know this but there’s a costume. A Red Robin mascot costume. I’d never seen it before I worked there.

He’s a violently red bird with empty eyes, a vacant grin, the most atrocious yellow leggings you’ve ever seen, and feet to make any Kingdom heart character swoon. His name was Red.

I was a host, and we were the only ones called upon to wear the costume. We’d don the bright yellow tights and corporate fursuit with someone leading us by the hand so we didn’t crash into everything.

The mesh screen in Red’s gaping mouth was supposed to let the wearer look out. Visibility was a joke. The restaurant was a dark gray haze of bustle from inside Red’s head. So every Tuesday and Thursday there’d be a two hour shift of a designated Bird Buddy leading the visually impaired sacrifice around.

After being forced to wear it during a heat wave and vomiting from the overwhelming temperature, I had vowed to never wear it again. But every new host always had a tiny secret longing to wear it when they first started. This desire never survived the full two hour shift.

So I was working a day shift with a newer host, Lauren, who had been openly enthusiastic to wear it. The manager hustled up to tell us that a little kid was here for his birthday and desperately wanted to see Red. We weren’t scheduled but impromptu requests could be accommodated when the restaurant was slow.

I said, “Great, Lauren can do it and I can be her buddy.”

I grabbed the hapless Lauren and dragged her to the dry goods storage where the suit was stored and where we changed. I closed the door and dragged the suit down. It had a particular greasy ground in smell to it.

Frying food, hot oil, and body odor had all permeated the faux fur with a unique reek. The management mouthed empty nothings that the suit was sent for monthly cleanings. It was common knowledge they were lying through their teeth. The smell of Red was eternal and unchanging.

“Okay, so take off your pants, put on the tights, then step into the body and I’ll zip you up. Then you get a vest and the head goes on last, got it?”

Lauren stared at me. I stared back. She made no move to change.

“Okay…” I repeated, “So you take off your pants and put on the tights?”

Lauren shifted nervously, silent. Not changing.

“Do you need me to turn around…?” It hadn’t occurred to me that she might be shy based on her personality, all the hosts were fairly blasé about changing in front of each other.

“I didn’t….” Her voice dwindled to a decimal only perceivable by bats.

“What’s that?”

Blushing vibrantly she raised her voice to the level of a tiny mouse to squeak, “I’m not wearing underwear….”

I stared at her harder. Our uniform pants were dark denim jeans. The thought of rubbing my bare pussy into denim for a whole shift was on par with dry humping a sheet of sandpaper. “You’re… you’re not wearing… anything?”

She shook her head miserably.

We both regarded the yellow tights worn by most of the host staff. We contemplated a lack of underwear being pressed into those communal tights, adding to the miasma of Red’s smells.

But I was sure as fuck not getting in that costume.

“Make sure to take the tights home and wash them.”

Her eyebrows went up. She met the bitter steel in my eyes and crumpled. I turned my back and she did what she had to, slipping naked as a babe into the neon spandex of Red’s tights. Lauren trustingly kept a grip on my hand as I navigated her through trays and tables to terrify the tiny birthday boy.

To the best of my knowledge, she never did wash the tights.

[chuluoyi]

the birthday boy

- fushiguro megumi x reader

your boyfriend is indifferent towards his own special day, but with you, he actually finds it worth celebrating

genre/warnings: fluff, fluff, fluff with a teeny weeny dash of angst

notes: loosely based on this fanart. pls just give my boi back gege you awful one-eyed cat how could you hold him hostage even on his birthday

listen to: sakura koi by mosawo don't mind me i just get all soft for this poor boy *sigh*

general masterlist

Megumi never really liked birthdays—his own birthdays, specifically.

"Come on, Megumi... just what is it that you want for your present?" you pleaded, pursing your lips together as you faced your boyfriend. "I don't want to give you a surprise only to find out it's not something you'd enjoy!"

However, ever since Gojo went and took him in, ever since he began attending Jujutsu High, and ever since he started dating you, to his chagrin, everyone started making a big fuss over it.

With the straightest face ever, he glanced at you and muttered, "I'm telling you, you can get me whatever."

"That's not an answer!"

"Seriously, you can pick anything. I'm good with anything."

You huffed in exasperation. "You're so unbelievably uncooperative, sheesh."

"On the contrary, I think I'm being quite amiable," he deadpanned. "You don't have to think about it that hard."

In a way, you should've expected this. Your boyfriend was never one who made a big deal over anything, and he probably meant it when he said that he was good with whatever. Your soft boy was just wired that way.

Meanwhile, to Megumi, his birthday was more of a remainder of good old days he spent with his kind sister and Gojo—when times were much more simpler. When Tsumiki was still alive and well. Call him an emo, but he was just feeling bittersweet.

Tsumiki would craft him this makeshift party hat, and Gojo would get him an overly sweet birthday cake with an even more over-the-top frostings. They'd join in singing him happy birthday, and Gojo's singing would be intentionally and especially awful while at it.

But now that he thought back to it, he kind of missed those times.

You threw him a narrowed-eyed look. "Forget it, I half-expected this anyway—" but then, suddenly struck by an idea, you exclaimed, "—oh! Wait, I know!"

Your enthusiastic exclamation caught his attention, and he silently observed as you furiously tapped away on your phone, scouring Google for standard gift ideas for boyfriends.

For the next half-hour, you continuously sought his feedback on each of suggestions. However, Megumi only nodded or agreed with evident disinterest, which didn't really answer your question at all.

“You’re seriously going to be like this, huh?” you sighed, frowning in total indignation, but in your boyfriend’s eyes, you were the height of absolute cuteness.

As you grumbled inwardly about how dull he was, Megumi wore a small smile. Truthfully, if asked, his ideal birthday would revolve around spending time with you. You didn't have to lose your head over this.

Needless to say, you were still trying to make it an event to remember. And Megumi knew, because you were so obvious it was giving him secondhand embarrassment.

"Itadori! I'm telling you—" you were rebuking a sheepish Yuji on broad daylight regarding which color for balloons to be placed in the class on the day of his birthday. Earlier, he saw you and Nobara huddled together, talking about cakes and pastries, then also animatedly discussing with Inumaki, Panda and Maki, pulling out all the stops for a celebration plan without missing a beat.

Megumi could only facepalm at your attempt to maintain secrecy—in which you were failing miserably, almost as if you hadn't really made an effort at all.

"Isn’t it nice, Megumi?" suddenly Gojo slid beside him, with a stupid grin on his face. "Someone who exclusively goes this far for you, hmm?"

"It's embarrassing..."

"Ha! Don't be shy," Gojo barked, leaving him with a friendly pat in the back before stalking away with a snicker, and Megumi wasn't the least bit amused. He was certain that at least, Yuji and Nobara would tease the heck out of him after all was said and done due to your antics.

Even so, he didn't have the heart to stop you, appreciating your well-meaning efforts. He felt somewhat soft too inside, as he didn't expect that there would be someone who cared about this way too much like you did. Just it felt strange—

—because last he remembered, the only person who was hellbent on making his birthday a nice memory was Tsumiki.

. . .

So you were organizing a surprise party for him alongside others. Megumi already knew that, he had anticipated it and frankly, he didn’t actually expect much, but when he actually stepped into the classroom and was greeted with a literal bang, confetti, colorful banners, balloons, and a crowd of well-wishers, he was floored.

“Fushiguro! Happy birthday!”

“Look happier a little, would you?!”

“Look! Look! We got you a cake!”

Yuji and Panda almost hugged him—but before he could, Megumi shoved them away, Nobara handed him a paper bag tied with a pretty bow with a cool smile—believing her gift to be the best, Inumaki gave his hand a shake, and Maki wished him only the best.

All of this was within his expectations. He knows, and yet…

"Hey, Megumi! Smile!" your voice stood out the most, along with your widest smile, beaming and gesturing towards the camera as you were about to take a group picture.

Megumi swore his heart skipped a beat. His pretty, sweet girlfriend. Your affections reached him, and it dampened the hardness that he always carried inside his heart. In that fleeting moment, he felt you were radiant, just like the sun.

Then he turned his gaze and found the person he knew he could never thank enough in this lifetime. Gojo, for the first time in a while, wasn't the clown he made himself to be for his sake. Standing with crossed arms, he quietly watched over him, nodding towards the camera as well with a meaningful smile.

Megumi felt warm, he felt loved, and he wouldn’t admit it, but this might be the best day of his life—surrounded by you and his friends like this. And he actually felt more than just that, but no words could do it justice, because nothing could have ever captured the overwhelming fullness inside his chest.

Tsumiki... You see... I'm doing well, you know?

Later, after all festivities are done, you managed to pull him into a secluded corner of the dorms to give him your one-of-a-kind gift, while fidgeting nervously.

"What is it?" he questioned, gaze squarely fixed on you. "At this point, there's no need for you to be this nervous. Nothing could've surprised me any more than Panda's giant panda earlier."

You laughed, recalling how he nearly got squashed by the life-sized stuffed panda earlier, but then you averted your gaze, feeling your face flush and turning into the cutest shade of pink.

"Well! To be fair, it was because you were so uncooperative when I asked what you wanted for your gift! And since I have gotten you the cake, I figured it'll be fun if you want to play this game..."

You huffed, and Megumi simply blinked in confusion when you handed him five pieces of papers—tickets? He turned them over to find the words "Free Pass" written on each one.

"Sooo you can use each ticket to ask me to do anything! Anything at all, be it me dancing to the worst song you can think of, or whatever!" your cheeks were burning so hard, but your resolute gaze kept him captivated as you continued, "So yeah, you get five free passes to make me do things I wouldn't normally do."

Lips pursed, eyes sparkling, cheeks ablaze. All in all, you were irresistibly adorable that Megumi had this overwhelming urge to scoop you up and put you inside his pocket if he could.

And really, free passes? Did you not consider the numerous exploitable loopholes he could subject you to?

"Okay, here, I want to use my first ticket."

"Huh! Already? What is it?"

He chuckled then, his lips tugging into the warmest of smiles, and you felt your heart soar, seeing that rare carefree expression on him.

"I want to kiss you."

[bakugoushotwife]

kinktober day seventeen: sex pollen kink

>>> god i love me some yuuta he is such a beautiful angel and deserves this! this started out as face-fucking kink but turned into this for storyline purposes LMFAOOO

>>> starring: yuuta okkotsu x curvy!f!reader >>> cw: sex pollen theme, pining, jealousy, face-fucking, oral (f!receiving) creampie, swallowing, doggy, headlock! oops!! >>> wc: 4.5k >>> event masterlist

you two make a dynamic duo. this was evident after he joined the school, drawn to you inexplicably. you were bubbly, funny, beautiful, and immensely talented, and you were the first person to smile at him. you became fast friends, and if he wasn’t sent out with toge, he was sent out on missions with you—where he quickly learned that your technique is beautifully complimentary to his own. you confused him though. you were incredibly pretty—non-sorcerers and classmates from jujutsu tech and her sister school approached you all the time, and you always politely turned them down. all sweet smiles and your caring voice humming out, “oh, thank you—i’m flattered, really, just—focused on working!” 

you always were so kind, even if you had a good sense of sarcastic wit. yuuta got a taste of your spirited jokes and only grew more enamored with you, silently thanking the gods above for your gentle crushing of other men’s interests in you. but you never seemed too interested in him, hence why he was so confused when you glared at him and stomped away when he agreed to a date with maki zen’in during your third year. he didn’t realize that he was choosing something bigger at the time, deciding that if you weren’t into him he should try to move on—he should just focus on your friendship instead of all the boys throwing themselves at you and all the nights he spent wondering if you would give him a chance.

but things were never the same after that. you asked toge to take any mission you were sent on with yuuta, and you kept to yourself. panda was disappointed. he thought you would have fought for him, but you didn’t want to embarrass yourself going after a man who didn’t want you back. you mostly stick to yourself, mingling with toge and some of your underclassmen when necessary. you run solo missions and spend your time in your room or training, all in an effort to avoid him entirely. you hated how weak the whole thing made you feel. you hated being jealous of maki, someone who had done nothing to you and had been a great friend; you hated being away from yuuta, but you knew it would be worse to stick around and pretend that you’re happy for him. 

he didn’t know he’d lose you completely. god knows he wouldn’t have tried this if he thought it meant you would stop sitting next to him in class and start sparring with toge during training instead. he missed you. you used to sneak into his dorm a few nights a week to watch movies and lay your head on his shoulder. you used to hint at your favorite boba until he got it for you on missions in the city. you used to use your curse copying technique to boost his own, paired with the increase in cursed energy output powering his; fights don’t feel like they used to, especially without your arrogant smile as you two dismantle yet another assignment in record time. it was awful, and everyone could tell that he was miserable. that’s why yuuta and maki’s relationship didn’t last much longer after the school year ends. he celebrates his birthday wondering if he should call you—and you spend the day typing and deleting a ‘happy birthday i miss you’ text. 

your final year of school starts, and you continue to debate with yourself over approaching him. it’s been months since you spoke, and you’re struggling to find the right words to say after all this time and distance. how could you explain yourself? ‘oh hey, sorry for dropping you, it was actually because you dated someone other than me.’ that’s hardly a convincing apology—and you don’t even know if he wants to see you. it had been a lonely several months without him, due to your own irrationality and instability, but still. you couldn’t bring yourself to stick around and yearn for him while he was in a relationship. now that he isn’t…things could be different. you decide to find him after you get settled into your dorm. you’re almost finished up, so you hurry out to grab the rest of your things. 

yuuta can’t stop looking for you. it’s your final move in day, and he has to see you. he wants to make sure everything will be okay between the two of you. he knows what room you’ll claim he just has to make the walk from the boys’ building to the girls’. he’s nervous to see you, but he’s excited, too. it all made sense to him now. you did have feelings for him after all, and he stomped all over them whenever he started dating maki. he understands why you distanced yourself even if it hurt him beyond words. but everything could be fixed now, he could admit the truth with the extra boost of confidence that understanding your absence gave him. he could make the first move with the reassurance, he actually cracks a little smile at the thought of your reconnection and acting on the feelings he’s tried to ignore for so long. 

then he sees you, and his smile spreads. he almost calls out your name, until he notices choso next to you, carrying what looks to be the remainder of your stuff towards your dorm. you seemed relaxed and cheerful, smiling softly and talking beside him as he nodded and gave the occasional grin to whatever you were saying. so this is what it felt like for you, then, huh? he supposed it was only a matter of time, every man you came across was charmed by you—and rightfully so. you must have finally decided to move on like he did, but it still feels like he’s been stabbed in the heart with a white hot blade. he’s standing on the sidewalk, rooted in place as choso opens the door for you even with the heavy stuff he’s carrying. you duck under his arm adorably, probably giggling out a thank you as you lead him to your bedroom. yuuta might be sick. 

but he has no place to. he did this to you, worse—in front of your face. at least you have no idea that he’s watching you. even as his heart crumbles in his chest and he does an about face back towards the boys’ dorms, he tries to make himself smile. he’ll be happy for you. this is all his fault. 

the rest of the day passes without you being able to find yuuta. you did run into choso while you were outside of your building. he and yuji were helping nobara out, but the former noticed you struggling to juggle all your things and offered to assist you too. you’ve worked with him before as well, so you didn’t think anything of it as you led him to your room to set everything down. you catch up with him for a bit and thank him for his help before you dismiss yourself in an effort to find your former best friend before curfew. it was a fruitless search. toge hadn’t seen him since he moved in, and panda still hadn’t arrived. he’d leave everything to the last minute. so with sadness settling in your gut, you return to your dorm and prepare for the first real day tomorrow. 

it’s no surprise that the first day means missions for the fourth years. yaga gives a whole spiel on how you all are adults now and all grade one or special grade sorcerers at this point in time. so he partnered toge and maki for a mission in nagoya, panda got a solo mission here in tokyo, and then he sent you and yuuta on a mission in osaka. 

his heart sank. there was no way he could get anyone to take his spot. he would be forced to walk alongside you and pretend he isn’t horribly depressed. you would mostly likely try to reconcile, and he missed you so horribly he would take you back in any vicinity. he wanted to fix things, to make things how they were supposed to be, and you’re supposed to be his girl. but what could he even do? maybe he would have you under his arm for this mission if he hadn’t been so brain dead. he can only blame himself, so yuuta extends the olive branch first. 

he waits for you at the gates. you can see the hilt of his sword as you round the top of the hill, and you swallow hard. you couldn’t help but think he was still avoiding you after looking for him for the better part of a day yesterday, so what would you say to him now? his grayish blue eyes meet yours, and you smile simply from the warmth that builds in your chest at the sight of him. he mirrors your smile easily, and it turns out you two can pick up right where you left off like nothing had ever happened. 

it’s relief. you were both so nervous that too much damage had been done. you wondered if the distance had grown so wide you couldn’t bridge the gap, and he could only think the same, but as soon as you joined his side, conversation flowed freely and laughter followed after. and even as the idea of you and choso nagged at his mind, he knew choso would never know you like he does. he would never fight alongside you so expertly, nor have all the history that the two of you have. if that’s all he’s got, then he can make it through this.  

the mission itself was a bit more of a struggle, for once. you blamed it on the fact you hadn’t coordinated attacks in months, but this grade one cursed spirit had way too many abilities and tactics to use against the two of you. you have the ability to copy cursed spirits techniques after they touch you, but it seemed as if this spirit had several different styles. they were spreading what appeared to be a fertilizer of some sort over the ground and walls, you couldn’t get close enough to it to touch, and you weren’t sure that copying this technique was going to be very helpful. 

“i’ll just boost your energy—we’ll have to fight the normal way.” you determine through a pant. none of your attacks had worked as planned so far. yuuta unsheaths his sword, chewing on the inside of his lip. he nods, seemingly analyzing the spirit and their dust to decide what he would do next. he surveys the abandoned ward of the hospital you were standing in, locating hiding spots.

“i’m going to sneak around, you try to keep it distracted?” he suggested, and you roll your eyes. it’s hardly a glorious plan, but you relent in it, letting him make the first moves would be more effective and decisive for the rest of the fight. he grins at your signature attitude, and jumps high into the sky. you chuckle at his showmanship, then run at the blob-looking cursed spirit with a whistle. you twirl your spear, watching as yuuta drops down in the dust behind it. his sword stabs through it a moment later, and you’re close enough to get your spear into the mix. at the impact, the spirit starts spitting out that powder, and you get a face full of it. 

you sputter and wipe at your face, trying to get it out of your eyes as you stumble back. the spirit laughs, while yuuta digs his sword into their flesh and tries to soothe your worries. 

“it’s harmless!” he calls out, yanking his sword out of its back and circling to the front to retrieve your spear. “just get it out—you’re okay!” 

the spirit laughs again, the glob-like substance melting into a pile as yuuta stabs it again, this time with the intent to exorcize it. “hardly, little woman!” the beast calls out in an automated croak. “cum is the only cure, female—you will die!” it laughs wildly, turning into a liquid under the pressure of yuuta’s energy. his eyes widen as you make a strangled noise of disbelief. 

you’re not sure if you’re blinking in shock or still recovering from its dust in your eyes, but you stumble back as it fully disappears. yuuta rushes to your side as soon as it’s over. you’re going to die? unless you…do something extremely lewd? he’s blushing deeply but it’s clearly out of concern for your life, of course. he’s disappointed in himself for letting you get affected. he imagined it had to get in the bloodstream to be effective since he was fine, but he could tell with one look at you that you were not. 

your eyes were heavily lidded, lips parted in a perfect pout as you stood on wobbly legs. you were covered in a thin layer of sweat, and he could see your hands pulling at your uniform—and your inner battle to get yourself to stop. he walks towards you, concerned beyond belief. you would die if he didn’t help, and you do look so intoxicating like this…

“don’t come any closer—please.” you choke out, feeling around behind you to find a wall to back yourself against. your entire body coursed with uncontrollable heat and need, your pussy throbbing painfully. everything was intensified, your heaving chest, the smell of the man you’ve wanted for years, and the searing lust he looked at you with. you started to shake, and he knew he couldn’t obey your command. “i can’t control myself right now, please, oh my god–” you whine out as his warm and slightly callused hands cup your hot cheeks. 

“you heard it…you’ll die..” he says softly, wide and concerned eyes searching yours. he wasn’t under the same pressure, but his heart was racing and his dick was hurting at the prospect of fucking his crush. his tongue darts out to wet his lips. he looks almost as nervous and needy as you do. “i just got you back—and i’m definitely not letting you die.” 

you’re insatiable, the touch only made your brain fuzzy and scream out for more, your hands reach up for his forearms, whining weakly as the connection doesn’t satisfy you at all. “oh yuuta–it hurts so bad.” you pout, the look you give him is so pathetic he almost whines with you. “h-help me, please~”

he nods and smashes his lips on yours. you let out an animalistic grunt in relief, throwing your body at him and taking the kiss from heated to dangerous, your teeth gnashing and tongue poking at his bottom lip to get even closer. he can’t help but contemplate the words of the curse, they simply said cum was the cure. does that mean his or yours? and where? he doesn’t mind trying everywhere. 

you pull back, but your arms stay around his neck, hands knitted in his soft locks. “my clothes–god it feels like i’m burning.” he gently pushes you off of him so he could help you find relief, popping the buttons on your top and letting out a shaky sigh at the sight of your breasts spilling over your bra. he snakes his hands around your back, slender fingers working quickly to unlatch the clasps. he does let out a little moan this time—your tits sag when your bra drops, and yuuta pushes all the fabric off your upper half and his hands knead at your chest instantly, causing you to wail and moan. he’s trying to be normal, but this is anything but. he’s spent many a night with his fist wrapped around his dick, thinking about the first time he would have you, but it never went like this. he’s hardly complaining though, you’re so sensitive and your noises are so pornographic he’s trying not to bust in his pants. 

“i’m gonna start crying–” you sniffle, none of his touches were satisfying you like you needed, it was getting unbearable. you were burning up and your pretty eyes were filling with tears of needy frustration. he whimpers at the sight and hurriedly peels his own clothes off, shaking his head in worry. 

“oh, don’t cry! i’m here—i’ll..i’ll make it better!” he nods, hooking his fingers under your skirt, shoving it to the perfect dip of your waist. he looks at your soaked panties, and his heart stops. he’s really going to do this, you aren’t even in your right mind—he can’t help but feel like he’s taking advantage of you. 

“yuuta–please, i want you so bad, need you!” you cry out, crumbling to your knees before him. you paw at his pants, untying his belt and yanking at the sides of his pants hungrily. he gasps at your desire. he was perfectly happy to please you only, wanting to save you more than anything—maybe other than this, you looking up at him with your lip between your teeth as his dick springs free, slapping against his stomach and making you moan out before you grab him. “fuck my mouth, okay–i need your cum, you heard it.” you sigh, eyes hazy with need as you lean in and kitten lick his pink tip.

his hand flies to your head, and he shudders just from that. you admire the sight of him, long and leaning to one side, cutely trimmed and a leaky slit meant just for you. “hope you didn’t let maki touch you—wanna feel all of it down my throat.” you rub your thighs together, fingers blindly playing with yourself to keep you from going insane. 

he blinks a bit at your profession of jealousy—and then he remembers choso. “aren’t you dating yuji’s brother?” he confronts, jutting himself forward a bit to see himself splayed along your perfect tongue. you huff at the accusation, brows furrowing as you shake your head. 

“never date anyone but you—” you confess, speech starting to slur. you aren’t able to think as clearly, all you can crave is his dick in your mouth, so you swallow him up. your nose tickles the dark patch of hair above his base, pretty teary eyes batting up at him as you moan around his cock. you want him to be rough? okay. he’ll do that for you–your life is on the line after all. he slides his hands to your cheeks as you work your way along him, up and down at such a sensual pace he’s a moaning mess like he’s affected by the technique. his noises only cause more of your own, his weighty tip hitting the back of your throat and making you gag each time. he makes it worse when he decides to apply pressure, holding your head still and moving his hips instead. he fucks your face brutally, you didn’t think he had it in him. tears run down your face and gags and moans are all to be heard. he looks so good, brows set forward in focus and his pink lips parted to let his whimpers free. he tastes even better, and you think you cum when he does, his thick ropes hitting the same spot his dick was, but you swallow it all down anyway and lick your lips—waiting for more. he shudders, this was far too much for him to handle, he didn’t know how he could return to normal after this. 

“let me see you now.” he blurts out, sitting on his knees like you. he crawls closer to you, easing you to lay back on the floor. you’re not too good for it, especially not if it meant yuuta was going to make you feel better. you were frantic with need, spreading your legs as soon as you felt his touch to them, he sees your soaked panties again, and his semi perks all the way back up again. “can i take them off?” 

“fuck–please, yuuta, can’t take it anymore—put your mouth on me!” you call out his name so desperately he can’t help but wonder if you would be so slutty had someone else gone on this mission with you. the thought quickly disappears when he remembers your declaration, that you’d never wanted anyone but him, and he wants to ask if it’s true. surely he has time, you’re starting to look like pure sex and as bad as he wants to destroy you, he has to do so in good faith. 

“did you mean it—that you wouldn’t date anyone but me?” he asks, peeling your sloppy underwear away from your drenched cunt. you nod quickly, the cold air making you shiver with anticipation. you buck your hips toward him a little, still nodding. 

“why d’you think i stopped talkin’ to you? you chose her over me.” you pout, and he feels the guilt pang at his heart again as he picks your hips up off the floor, hooking his arms around your thighs. 

“it was a mistake–i didn’t know you wanted me–”

“i love you—don’t just want you–need you, pleaseee we’ll talk later!” you squirm in his grip and he snaps into it. your words push him to new heights, you love him. you love him and you need him more than anything, and god he would make sure you never regretted it. his tongue parts your lips and he grows ravenous immediately at the taste of you. he sucks at it, wanting as much of you on his taste buds as he could get. you mewl and pant immediately, bucking into his face and moaning at the way his nose collides with your clit. you can’t reach him with the angle he holds your hips at, helpless and only able to play with your own chest as he devours you. he slides his tongue inside you, groaning at how tight you are. he knows you’re going to squeeze his cock like a vice. you cry out his name in response, and it drives him crazy. white hot need flows through his veins and it's not enough to hear you. he needs to feel you cum in his mouth, feel you buck and writhe in his arms just like this–it makes him feel like the man you need. and the more you call his name, the more he believes he is. 

he tongue fucks you for a minute or two, just stroking your walls and tasting your insides. it makes you moan lowly, a purr almost, but when he slides his tongue up to your clit, your sounds turn higher, towards screams. it makes him feral, his teeth scrape against your hood and you lurch forward, whining to touch him. he makes out with your cunt, watching your face contort with pleasure. 

“i’m gonna cum for you, oh–yuuta!” you warn in a broken wail, and he moans against you, waiting for you to coat him in your juice. your legs clench around his head, shaking and jerking as your release hits you in waves. he works you through it, licking two fingers in preparation to work you open, but you shake your head. “please, please fuck me, can’t wait anymore–.” you press your legs to his face again, the need almost worse now that you’ve cum once. 

“it’s gonna hurt–” he winces, though the brain in his dick agrees with you wholeheartedly. 

“it already hurts—please, please, if you care about me at all, just..please!” you sigh out, thrashing in his arms as you plead. how could he deny you when you talk like that, especially if it will make you think he doesn’t care about you. 

“i care about you—i love you too, i–i’ll help you, i’m here.” he stammers around, lowering your legs to his hips. he angles his leaky cockhead against your hole, and your head falls back at the feeling and his confession. you nod, reaching for his hands that support your weight. 

“good—then fuck me like you love me.” you pant, your body so glorious and splayed wide just for him. he’s in heaven, and he can’t fight off his need any longer—especially if this was what you wanted, what you were begging him for. he fits his tip past your tight hole, sinking his length deeper in fluid strokes. you moan wantonly, and the sounds make his body tingle. you’re walking sex, he’s always thought that, but seeing you underneath him only confirmed your perfection. you nod your encouragement, even thrusting your hips up to meet him, and the pressure makes his eyes roll back. 

he fills you up like he was made to, squeezing between your walls and kissing your cervix once he’s in to the hilt. his fingers dig into your meaty hips, slamming your body down on him repeatedly until you’re both a mess of moans and sweat and heavy breathing. you squeeze down on him, mumbles of his name bless his ears and cause his dick to jump. 

he turns you over, hoping you can still support yourself on all fours. you shake, but hold yourself up, arching your back for him to slip his cock back in without a struggle. he faces no resistance, your juices dribble down your thighs and all around him, gurgling and squelching once he’s nestled inside. you moan at the new angle, only intensified by him laying over your back and catching your neck in his arm, adding support for your pathetic frame. he’s got you in a headlock, his hips driving into your round ass, the sounds of his gentle grunting sing in your ear. you’re so close, backing into him like you’ll never have the chance to fuck again–which he can assure you would not be the case. 

“yuuta–’m gonna cum ‘gain, gonna give yours to me?” you whine out, panting and struggling through your smooshed cheeks. he nods like you can see him, sweat dripping on your back. you massage him so well that he’s surprised he made it this long. 

“yes, i have to make sure you’ll be okay.” he sighs, stilling as a loud moan rips from his throat as he floods your insides, noting that he would have to buy a pill to make sure this didn’t turn into a lasting problem at your young adult age. it feels so good though, he doesn’t know how he would ever fuck you differently. you shiver, squeezing all the seed out of his cock as you come down from your own high. you slump forward, his arm was the only thing keeping you from face planting on the ground. he rubs gentle circles into your bruising hips as he catches his breath. 

“are you alright, does it feel better?” he quizzes, feeling himself go soft after several minutes of keeping you stuffed. “talk to me, i’m worried–”

“i’m great,” you giggle, feeling cum slide down your legs when he slips out of you, “better than ever. as long as that’s not a one time thing.” 

he leans over your back again, turning your head for a sweet kiss to your lips. “no, no. definitely not. sneak into my room tonight and i’ll make sure of it.”

[small-world-au]

Ramshackle Stone facts you might have/haven’t heard of before!

By yours, truly :333

(FYI, some of these fact are super old and might’ve changed for current canon!)

Stone’s name isn’t ACTUALLY Stone! It’s his last name!

His first name could possibly be Eric, Phillipé, or Cecil! As stated by Zeddyzi on one of her older posts.

(I personally think Eric suits him better!)

He has a fear of rats/mice/and death!

He’s possibly aromatic and Demi.

He hates bananas cuz of their texture!

He’s into astronomy! 🪐

It’s possible that in the future he’ll open up in future, but he’ll just stick to smoking and drinking for now. (He’s a VERY private person!)

He’s a big crybaby. (And me too :3)

He can’t fuckin dance.

He listens to Nirvana! (Is that how u spell it????)

He has a love/hate relationship with his violin. 🎻

He can also be quite childish when it comes to potty humor.

He’s actually super sweet and sentimental when sober!

He’s the most happiest when he’s surrounded by puppies or just chilling with friends. :333

His birthday is on march 14!

As stated by Zeddyzi, if he were to have a blog, it be about science!

If he were going to date someone, it be someone he’s already close to! (He ain’t picky as long there’s a strong connection!)

If you were to take him on a date, he’ll just act awkwardly. (Cute :3)

He’s not very artistic.

He doesn’t like food. (especially spicy food!)

To express his love, he gets drunk…(um…what???)

He fidgets A LOT in his sleep.

If he were in a dangerous situation and he’s SUPER drunk, he just be standing there like a deer in headlights.

When drunk, he can’t fight for shit! (Save this confused man!)

He’s very grateful for his friends and is scared to lose them if he fucks up. (Same 😎.)

He’s not funny. Can’t even tell a fucking joke to save his own life!

He’s definitely the “don’t you pull that stupid shit” mom type as confirmed by Zeddyzi!

His blood type is B! (positive or negative, it’s not confirmed yet.)

If he were to be a Pokémon trainer, his team would be ghost/ice type!

He has a habit of being/staying clean, but often times fails miserably at it.

He doesn’t exercise. (maybe when he’s running tho!)

He trips a lot.

He loves doggos!

He hates anime.

His turn on/off is science/when people try talking to him. (Eh???)

He wears eyeliner! (According to Zi, he was born with it???)

OH!!!! HE LIKES EMO POETRY!!!! (As shown in Zi microwaving the Stone plush to DEAT-)

AND HE HAS BLACK 💅!!! (They couldn’t animate in the pilot cuz, ya know, it be difficult to animate.)

HIS WEAPON OF CHOICE WAS A CROWBAR, BUT THAN IT WAS REPLACED BY MOLOTOV’S.

That’s all I have for today! Hope you enjoyed reading these facts about our beloved emo boy🖤🖤🖤!!!

Have a stone and skipp drawing! (Art by @zeddyzi )

Edit: shout out to @k1tkatzzz for pointing out that interesting detail!

[kissesbyliz]

meeting the 141 boys for the first time

these are cute individual scenarios that show how i think the reader would meet the boys!!

gn!reader

(feat. simon "ghost" riley, john price, kyle "gaz" garrick, johnny "soap" mactavish)

GHOST

the first time you lay eyes on him would be in your new apartment complex. you would have been left to move your furniture all by yourself after your brothers, ever the immature dorks they were, ditched you to participate in some influencer's video who had been looking for volunteers in your area. "this is a once in a lifetime opportunity that will never happen again." they had told you grimly, before driving off and leaving you stranded with all your new furniture in front of the tall building.

it was early in the morning, the lights in the hallway shining in his eyes just a bit too harshly as simon exited his apartment. he was preparing to leave to pick up some groceries, having just ran out of his toothpaste. he grumbled, feeling a bad mood start to settle in him from the various inconveniences that had already managed to arise in his day.

that's when he saw you. his new next door neighbor, who was apparently in the process of transporting a large shelf towards their open door all by themselves. the size of the furniture compared to you was almost comical, and your effort in moving the heavy object showed in every laborious step. it was a ridiculous sight to see, and he couldn't help the snort that he let out. upon hearing the noise, you turn your head to look at him.

"hey, there." you call out to him with a weary smile. "mind giving a neighbor a hand?"

he has some time to spare, he decides, moving to easily pick up the end of the shelf that was dragging miserably on the floor. you peek your head out the side of the shelf to shoot him a toothy grin, quickly thanking him for his aid.

PRICE

you would first see john at a bar, where you were celebrating one of your friends' birthdays. the topic had shifted over to you, after you had reported that the blind date they set you up on the previous night had again went abhorrently. they defended themselves playfully, giggling about "how they were not going to let to you die alone, no matter what it takes."

you mournfully swirled the drink in your glass, shooting them all a lighthearted glare at their remark. you sighed, laying your chin on your hand as you took a moment to gaze around the bar. it was packed, as usual, full of laughter and music.

as your eyes skimmed over the room, they finally landed on a man who was sat at the bar, already peering at you. he was sporting a fleece lined coat with a beanie, beard trimmed neatly and in a way that complimented his features. he was undeniably attractive, exemplified by the way he shot you a charming smile and tilted his glass towards you in acknowledgement.

you gulped, suddenly feeling shy, and turned back towards your group. your friends, having witnessed the whole ordeal, shot you knowing looks, immediately egging you on to go talk to him! with laughter and playful pushes at your shoulder.

after an embarrassing moment of encouragement from your friends, you stood up, liquid courage burning in your veins. you moved over to his position, weaving through the people in your path. he smiled warmly to welcome you as you slid into the empty seat in front of him.

"hey." you started, giving him a sheepish grin.

GAZ

you met gaz on the street of a shopping plaza, an impressive amount of shopping bags grasped in your hands. they were all gifts for your younger cousins and other distant relatives, after your parents had reminded you sternly that you needed to get them each something for the holidays.

kyle was having himself a smoke, trying to get his mind off of his previous week. he was trying to stop for good, but this was the kind of day that just required a cigarette. the consequences of him and his task forces' actions, the gravity of them, was weighing especially heavily on his shoulders today.

all of a sudden, he heard a yelp, then the thud of multiple objects hitting on the floor. he glanced over to see you holding a now ripped open paper bag among your other shopping bags, with a multitude of small toys and figurines at your feet.

you were near tears in that moment, already fed up from the pressure of your parents now added with the embarrassment that came from the combination of laughter and pitiful glances passerbys shot your way. you crouched down and began picking the figurines up, reminding yourself gingerly in your head to take deep breaths.

pity instinctively squeezed his chest at the sight, your pretty eyes peering down at the toys dejectedly. kyle moved immediately, tossing his cigarette and squatting down, picking up the objects beside you. he gave you a sweet and reassuring smile, "bad day too, huh?"

"any chance i could buy you a drink to wipe that frown off your face?" he continued, standing back up with you. you can't help the genuine smile that stretches across your face at his proposal, your first smile of the day, shyly nodding with a small sniffle.

SOAP

you first came into contact with johnny at a fair in your town. the two friends you had came with left to ride one of the fair's intense rides, but you decided to stay behind to give your stomach a break from all the rides you all went on previously. tired of waiting on a bench for your companions, you decided to get up and browse the games the fair had to offer.

eventually, you come across a balloon popping game, which had the participants competing against each other to pop as many balloons as they could with mock rifles. you smile confidently as you walked over, recalling winning this game plenty of times in the past.

alright, a little competition can't hurt, you decide, making a show of cracking your knuckles and rolling your shoulders. the man beside you lets out a hearty laugh at your display, and you turn to face your opponent.

he was a tall man with a muscular build, a messily styled mohawk, and blue eyes that shined with a mischievous glint. he winked at you, meeting your gaze, "good luck. let's have some fun, yeah?"

"yeah, you'll need it." you retorted back playfully.

the game started, and you immediately took to shooting with your gun. to your surprise, most of the balloons on his side were promptly eliminated in quick succession and with pinpoint accuracy. you nervously shifted your attention back to your side of the game, where you managed to pop a mere six balloons, which was actually pretty damn good in your opinion.

your eye twitched slightly as you glanced back over to him, your ego bruised a bit. he shoots you a smug grin as he chose his prize; a giant stuffed german shepherd. he saunters over to you, gently booping your nose with the snout of the toy, before walking away. what the hell...

[skamenglishsubs]

The evolution of Wilhelm's decisions across the seasons

While preparing to do my season 3 Subtext and Culture posts that are very single-episode focused, I was struck by another thought which is the recurring pattern with which Wilhelm breaks free in stages:

In season 1, Wilhelm is being moved to Hillerska as punishment, and at the start he's pretty much set on resigning himself to his fate. Except he meets Simon, which starts him on his his journey to freedom, as they hesitantly start something.

Erik dying is a huge setback, he tries to revert to being a straight role model, fails miserably, admits to himself he's really in love with another boy, and they start having a relationship in secret. That fails miserably, because of the leaked video, and ultimately because Simon rejects being in a secret relationship.

But he decides that he wants to try having an actual relationship with another boy, despite the royal expectations. He chooses Simon, discarding the idea that a crown prince can't be queer.

In season 2, Wilhelm is tentatively exploring other relationships with other members of the upper class, who presumably wouldn't have a problem with a hidden relationship.

Meanwhile, Simon is apparently in a public relationship with Marcus, this causes Wilhelm to be consumed by jealousy, and all his other relationship attempts fail miserably. He doesn't want someone else, he wants Simon. And eventually Simon comes around to accepting being in a hidden relationship with Wilhelm, if that's the only way it could work.

But he decides that he wants to try being open about having a relationship with another boy, despite the royal expectations. He chooses Simon, discarding the idea that the monarchy can dictate his public image.

In season 3, both Wilhelm and Simon are trying to make their public relationship work, and they overcome the awkwardness of being seen together at school at least.

They try to combine Wilhelm's role as crown prince with their relationship. He tries doing the job, the charity foundation, the formal birthday dinner while including Simon, and it fails miserably because of the intense pressure that's being put on him due to his role, and due to him and his family's inability to deal with their grief after Erik.

So the show slowly moves to this inevitable depressing conclusion where Wilhelm resigns himself to his fate. He says goodbye to Simon, makes up with his family, and appears to accept his duty.

But he decides fuck all that shit, despite the royal expectations. He chooses Simon, discarding the entire monarchy, finally breaking free all the way.

The show is filled with points in the story where Wilhelm could have made a different choice, veering off his path. He slips up a bunch of times, he chooses to break up after Erik dies, he chooses to make out with Felice, he chooses his duty to spite August. But he gets there in the end, he makes enough good decisions, and each one brings him closer and closer to freedom.

[coolprettyleo]

he said he'd love me for all time - connor bedard? ☆

wc: 3.1k

tw: heartbreak. sadness. drinking. partying. lying. angst. etc?

ryan leonard x ex oc

connor bedard x oc

death by a thousand cuts au

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

to the average eye frankie hughes was having the time of her life.

the tabloids were calling the youngest hughes; the newest 'it girl' of nyc, who was seen partying every weekend with big names, modeling for huge brands, and being everyone's newest celebrity crush.

to all her friends and to her ex-boyfriend, it looked like she was totally fine from the breakup, even daring to say she was even benefiting from it a bit.

but that was far from the truth.

the girl had been moving through the world with a heartbroken ever since that windy night in dc, when her whole world turned upside down in what seemed to be in the blink of an eye. she had to learn to live with the fact she was just a chapter in ryan leonards life, while he was her whole book.

but the girl was a real tough kid, and she knew how to handle her shit and put on a facade. a facade for the world, her friends, her family, and even her ex-boyfriend. and she knew how to do it well. a little too well, which she knew was bound to bite her in the ass one day. she could show everyone lies, and she would continue to do that until she felt somewhat okay. she had been doing it since he left anyways.

the only sign of a broken heart she had shown was the fact she had gone slightly manic and dyed her hair blonde, but the brands and the public seemed to love it.

at least someone loved it.

right now was a moment where she had to look okay, more than ever.

she had flown to vegas to show support for her brothers for the NHL awards and was currently walking the red carpet alongside her family, with her head held high and a smile that looked like it was her birthday.

while on the inside she wanted to die. just before her family walked into the eyesight of the cameras, her father asked her a question that made her whole castle of lies want to crumble into mere pebbles.

"oh, frankie! I ran into a few of the usa boys yesterday; ryan's linemate was one of them; does that mean he's here, too? you should invite him to dinner later" her father asked, not knowing the alarms he had set off in his daughter's head.

it wasn't his fault; she knew they were bound to ask about ryan. they loved him, but how was she supposed to tell them she'd ruined one of the only good things about her life? she knew they already didn't have the best mindset about her new life, and this was only going to feed into the fire more.

"I wouldn't know, we broke up," she said awkwardly as they walked. they all halted and whipped their heads around to the youngest hughes.

"what? what happened?" her mother said in the most heartbroken tone she'd ever heard.

"we just, kind of... grew apart, i guess. it was mutual, so I'm fine" lie. if only they knew she begged him not to leave.

"are you okay?" luke said, studying her up and down. he knew that his sister was never one to lay her heart out like she had done for ryan, so she had to be hurting.

"no, yeah! totally! c'mon, let's keep going; tonight is not about me; it's about you guys!" she said with a smile as she reached up to pinch quinn and luke's cheeks. they looked at her, not knowing if she was trying to convince them or herself more. her family gave her a worried look before looking at each other as they followed behind her.

they walked through the carpet as frankie looked like she was having the time of her life, continuing to show lies. while on the inside, she was beyond miserable; she really had never felt such a hole in her heart like this.

the carpet soon ended, and they walked into the theater. she searched for the nearest bathroom, feeling a panic attack rising, needing to get away from the worried eyes of her family. She excused herself, searching for the nearest exit.

"did you know they broke up?" jack asked his mom as they took their seats.

"no, she hadn't said anything. she looks perfectly fine, even glowing," her mother said as they all nodded.

"she has to be hurting," luke said as they watched her talk to a girl with a glittering smile, showing lies.

___

she soon found the bathroom in a hallway, and she saw a guy standing outside of it. that guy being, no other than connor bedard. she would have to be living under a rock to not know who he was, he had been dominating the NHL this last season and wasn't in any way ugly either.

he was the perfect thing to get her mind off of ryan.

she hadn't been with anyone since they broke up, but she knew she had to get back out there if she ever wanted to get the hell out of the imaginary restaurant she was stuck in. she stayed there, and she had been there for weeks. she needed an out, and this was her chance.

"are you in line?" she asked a bit confused as the boy lifted his head up to look at her, eyes widening a bit not thinking to run into frankie hughes tonight.

"uhh, no. I- I'm waiting for my sister," he stuttered, a bit flustered as frankie smirked. she made him nervous, and that was a good sign.

"hey, connor bedard right? I'm frankie," she said, outstretching her hand. the boy didn't think she knew who he was.

"yeah, I know who you are," he said with a small smile, meeting her handshake.

"you nervous for tonight?" she asked with a smile that seemed to put the buy in a daze.

"a little, but it's not the end of the world if I don't win," he said nervously, knowing he was up against her brother.

"good, you won't cry when luke wins then," she said jokingly with a wink as he chuckled.

"that bathroom smells horrible- oh my gosh! frankie hughes!" a blonde girl said as she noticed the youngest hughes. frankie smiled at he girl.

"you must be connor sister; hi, and does it really smell because I'll just hold it," she said with a smile as the girl looked astounded.

"hello! and yeah, it does- but I didn't like, stink it up or anything. it was like that already, like way before I walked in," she rambled but stopped once she noticed frankie and connor holding in a laugh, looking at each other.

"no, I get it. thanks for the heads up. i should get back to my seat, ill see you around connor" she said with eyes that made connor want to stumble. she was hot, and if he didn't know any better, she was flirting?

she bid them goodbye as madisen scolded herself for being so awkward. a trait both of the bedard siblings held.

"she's so cool," madisen said, shaking her head in aww.

"yeah, she is," he said with a small smile, not believing how the girl was so obviously flirting with him.

___

frankie returned to her seat with a heavy feeling in her heart as she sat between jack and quinn.

"I feel like I should be sitting left to jack," she told her family as quinn shook his head.

"stop it, you know that's your seat," her brother told her with a look, talking about the assigned seating they had made a couple years back, back when she actually played hockey.

she let it go, due to the fact she had nothing to say as she looked around the theater. there were many faces, big names in hockey surrounding them and maybe if she was twelve she'd be screaming but right now she could care less. her eyes focused on no other than connor.

he was cute. he had an aura that seemed like he was sure of himself, and that was a trait that made frankie want to gravitate to him. She used to love that trait in ryan.

stop thinking about him!

she told herself. the rest of the night, she spent it playing eye tag with connor. she felt his eyes on her, and he felt her eyes on him. She was sure she had him secured. but did she want to dive into that hole? part of her felt like she would be cheating on ryan, but she hadn't spoken to him since that night. she was allowed to move on, right?

she bit back the feeling as the she tried to enjoy the night. Luke had lost, but connor had won. ss he was walking up to the stage, his eyes found hers, and she playfully rolled her eyes and shook her head as she clapped.

"what the hell was that?" jack asked her leaning over luke.

"what was what?" she played dumb as her brothers looked at her funny.

"you know what," luke said as she just shook her head and smiled.

"I am single," she said with a shrug as they looked at her like she had three heads. choosing to drop it, knowing their sister had her own ways of moving on. they weren't going to question her, just give her a disgusted look as they got on with the night.

___

quinn ended up winning his award, and she got up to give him the biggest hug, beyond proud of him; she had grown closer to quinn when she moved. he always made sure to visit her and check in on her, and she couldn't thank him enough.

always making sure she had money and she had eaten. the first week she had left, he had sent her money, knowing she couldn't have that much saved up. he was really the most thoughtful one out of the hughes brothers, and she was happy to be a part of this moment for him.

the night went on, and they soon ended up in a bar celebrating quinn's win as the siblings took shot after shot, getting plastered as the night went on.

it seemed like the universe had been on her side because connor had walked into the very same bar a little later into the night. she turned to luke, knowing she had to make sure he was okay with what she was about to do.

"hey-"

"go for it," her brother said, shaking his head as she looked at him guiltily.

"you didn't even know what i was going to say" she said slightly smiling

"you didn't have to; you've been giving him those eyes all night. go be young and free," he said lightly, pushing her shoulder as she giggled.

"thanks luke. and, can i ask you something?" she told him

"shoot," he said, as jack and quinn joined the conversation.

"would it be shady to ryan? if I got with connor?" she asked, knowing they were guys and they'd probably know ryan's point of view. she never wanted to hurt anyone.

he hurt you though

"well, I mean, if you guys broke up, no. but like if you're still seeing each other on the low, that's a different story-" jack said

"we're not. I haven't heard from him since that night," she clarified as they nodded.

"were they like, sworn enemies or best friends?" quinn asked

"not that I know of," she said, thinking back to whether they ever interacted. she was sure they hadn't.

"then go for it little sis," jack said with a wink

"yeah, but don't string bedard around either," quinn said with a scolding look.

he was right. she was more than sure connor didn't need someone to play with his feelings. but he was busy, maybe he was just looking for a hookup. he went first overall; he'd had to have his fair share of one-night stands. right?

"she's young; this is her time to make stupid decisions-" jack tried to reason as she zoned out.

"if she's not over leonard, then it's just going to blow up in her face-" quinn said, arguing over luke with jack. if only quinn knew she'd never get over him. the love of her life turned into the loss of her life, and she'd continue to long for him forever. She just had to learn to live alongside that grief.

"okay! thanks for the advice guys. I'll catch you guys later," she said, walking away from her brothers, who watched as she walked up to connor and immediately caught sight of his reddened cheeks.

"she's going to break the poor guy's heart," quinn said with a guilty look as jack and luke snickered a bit evily. maybe he was a bit salty about the loss.

___

frankie woke up to a pounding headache.

she felt like she had drank more than her body weight the night before, and was suffering the consequences of those tequila shots right about now.

she sat up, only to realize she was in nothing but a loose t-shirt that did not belong to her. only now, looking around to realize she was not in her hotel room.

oh god, what did you do frankie

"hey, you're up," connor said, opening the door in nothing but a towel. he had the body made of a god, and only now did frankie remember the events of the night before where she had done body shots, those very same abs she was obviously ogling at.

"what the hell," she asked, looking around for her phone to see about a million texts coming from her family and friends, wondering where the hell she went.

"here, I thought you might have a hangover," connor nervously said as he handed her some tylenols. she drank them before trying to remember if she slept with him last night.

"did we..."

"i think we did. i kind of blacked out, you kept feeding me shots and I was trying to impress you so I ended up the most plastered I had ever been" he told her honestly as she felt like a bitch. of course, she was a bad influence on this saint of a boy. of fucking course.

"oh my gosh. i'm so sorry-" she said shaking her head

"it's okay, frankie. my life is way too serious most of the time. nights like last night remind me that I'm only eighteen. I had a lot of fun last night from what I remember," he said with a light smile as she reciprocated.

he was cute. he was handsome. and he was nice. he was way too good for frankie to go and taint, and she knew that.

"I should get back to my family before they send out an amber alert or something," she said as she stood up and looked for her underwear and dress from last night.

she lifted the sheets and searched, only to turn around and see connor standing with them in his hand with a cheeky smile.

she embarrassingly grabbed them as she got her heels and walked to the door and turned back to the young hockey player, knowing she'd have to tell him this was a one-time thing.

as she turned and saw the hopeful look on his face and his light smile she couldn't bear to tell him. he was cute, and yes, maybe it was selfish to use him to get over ryan but she wasn't no saint, and maybe if she got to know connor a little bit better, it could blossom into something more.

"I'll text you," she told him as she opened the door into the hallway.

"maybe i'll text you first," he said with a smile as he brushed the hair out of her face. she couldn't help herself and leaned into a passionate kiss. wrapping her arms around his neck as she brought him down with her. She soon pulled away and waved goodbye to him, leaving the boy standing in basically shambles as he felt something he'd never felt before. he was falling, and he was falling hard.

it seemed like the universe wanted her to suffer the embarrassment because as she looked up, she made eye contact with no other than wide eye will smith and zeev buim standing there with their mouths agape.

"hey guys," she said as she cringed. they were probably going to run and tell ryan. part of her felt like shit about that, but the other part of her hoped he knew.

they did nothing but look at each other before looking back at her with furrowed eyebrows.

"how could you do that to ryan?" will said, looking at her disgustingly.

"I didn't do anything to him," she said, crossing her arms at the two boys, wondering why the hell they were so mad. she was single.

"yeah? what the hell would you call that? you're cheating on him with bedard? really?" will said. only then did frankie realize he didn't tell them. he didn't even tell will that he had broken up with her. had he told anyone? everyone still thought they were together?

"i'm not cheating, will-" she said shaking her head

"bullshit," he said, cutting her off, that action making frankie want to literally rip his head off. he wasn't even letting her talk.

"he broke up with me about a month ago," she said as they looked at her confusingly.

"are you serious?" zeev asked as will seemed to go speechless. he couldn't believe it.

"yeah. so don't try to tell me shit, when you know nothing," she said teary-eyed as she walked past the two boys. not before bumping her shoulder straight into will. he was an asshole. he had no right to accuse her of cheating.

she wiped her tears before walking into her shared hotel room with her family, knowing she had to handle her shit and fake it till she made it. she couldn't let them see how destroyed her heart had become.

"ahh, the walk of shame," jack said, shaking his head with a teasing smirk as she flipped him off and flopped on the couch.

"not a good night, I'm guessing," quinn said with a grimace.

"it was fine," she said with a huff as she stared off into the ceiling. not being able to stop thinking about ryan. she felt guilty.

"you didn't do anything wrong if that's what you're thinking," Luke said, knowing his littlest sister.

"I know," she said, rising up and walking to her room. closing her door and finally letting her tears fall freely. she was miserable, but at least no one knew.

[allgoodnamesrgoneee]

Hmm I’ll just request (please make this long and in depth) of like it being Kylians birthday and readers never had a birthday or anything and makes him like the coolest gifts like a shirt with him and the eiffel tower on it and a bunch of cool diys and her being shy and embarrassed and him just being so shocked that she made him something and thinking its so cool. Can we please get Kylians pov too and him telling his family about the gifts and the reader also getting him some luxury stuff too

You got it😉

Birthday Boy

Masterlist

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 — You surprise Kylian for his birthday.

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 — Kylian Mbappé x you

𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 — 2k

Warnings! FLUFF, birthday boyy, cute reader, insecurities, the request basically covers the rest,

Fuck.

You weren't ready for this.

You're really not ready for this. You don't know how to do any of this. But it was his birthday, and you knew he would be upset if you didn't get him anything. He deserves something special though.

You're standing in his apartment, nervously fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. You have no idea what time he's going to be home from training, but it couldn't be too long now.

You have a few gifts for him, and you're really proud of them. Well, proud wasn't exactly the word. Nervous was more like it. He might hate them, and that would be really embarrassing.

You looked at the clock on the wall and gasp when you realized what the time was. He's going to be home any minute now. You quickly run to the kitchen, hiding behind the counter with all of his gifts on it. You hold your breath and hope that you won't make a fool of yourself.

You heard the door open and his footsteps as he walks into the living room. You slowly peer around the corner and see him looking at you in confusion.

“Hey, are you alright? Why are you hiding behind the counter?” he asks, walking towards you.

You blush and look down, playing with the hem of your shirt again. “Happy B-Birthday! I-I got you some gifts,” you stammer out, trying to sound cheerful but failing miserably.

He looks at you in surprise, face lighting up in excitement. “You got me presents?!” he exclaims, running to you and pulling you out from behind the counter.

He spins you around so you're facing him and then pulls you into a hug, lifting you off the ground. “Thank you, trésor,” he whispers in your ear.

You blush and smile shyly, hugging him back.

He sets you back on your feet and pulls away slightly to look at you. “Why are you blushing so much?” he asks, a smile on his lips.

You bite your lip and look away from him. “I just don't know if you're going to like them,” you mumble, looking down at your feet. You look up to see him looking at you curiously.

“What makes you think I won't like them?” he asks, looking confused.

“I-I don't know,” you reply, looking back down at your feet. “Well, they're not that expensive or anything. So you might not like them.”

He laughs, a soft smile on his face. “That doesn't matter at all,” he says, grabbing your hand and tugging you towards the counter. He lets go of your hand and pulls all the gifts over in front of you. “Tell me about these,” he asks, sitting down at the counter and gesturing for you to sit next to him. You do as he says, biting your lip.

He picks up the first gift, which is wrapped in green wrapping paper. “This one is just some candy,” you mumble, watching him tear the paper off. He opens the box and smiles widely when he sees the chocolate inside.

“Mmm, I love chocolate,” he says, popping one of the chocolates into his mouth.

Next he picks up a small, blue box. “This is some new headphones,” you explain, watching as he opens the box and pulls out the headphones.

“Cool, I needed some new ones,” he replies, putting them on and fiddling with them for a second. “I love them!” he exclaims, smiling at you.

You bite your lip again as he reaches for the final gift, which is a small, white box. He opens it and pulls out a shirt. His eyes widen when he sees what's on it, and he looks at you in shock.

“You made this?” he asks, staring at the shirt in disbelief.

You nod your head shyly, biting your lip. “Y-Yeah,” you mumble.

He holds the shirt up and smiles, looking at the drawing on it. He'd drawn a picture of him and the Eiffel tower in the background. The picture had 'Happy Birthday' written above it in swirly letters.

“Trésor, I love it,” he whispers, looking at you in awe. “Can I wear it now?”

You nod your head excitedly, watching as he pulls off his shirt and puts on the new one. He turns around to face you and smiles. You blush and look away from him, fidgeting with your hands. He walks towards you and lifts your chin up with his hand so that you're looking at him.

“I love it,” he repeats. “Thank you.”

You bite your lip and smile shyly, nodding your head.

He pulls you into a hug and kisses your forehead. “Thank you so much, trésor,” he whispers in your ear.

You blush and hug him back, smiling. You can feel his heart beating against your chest, and you have to suppress a sigh. He smells amazing. He always smells amazing. Like home. Like a warm hug on a cold day. You love how he smells.

He pulls away from you slightly and kisses your lips softly. “I'll be right back, I need to call my family,” he says, kissing your lips again before turning and walking towards the couch.

You watch him go, biting your lip and blushing. You turn and walk into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge and sitting at the counter to drink it. You look out the window, watching as the sun sets behind the Eiffel tower in the distance. You sigh happily, smiling. It's so pretty. You could get used to seeing that every night.

Kylian sits on the couch, watching as you drink your water. He can't help but smile as he watches you. you are so cute. He looks down at the shirt he's wearing and his heart flutters. It was so adorable. He had never met anyone who could draw as well as you could. It was perfect.

He pulls out his phone and dials Ethan's number, waiting for him to answer. He picks up on the first ring. "Happy birthday, bro!" Ethan exclaims.

Kylian laughs and leans back against the couch. "Merci, merci. Where's mom? I tried calling her earlier but she didn't answer." he asks. It hurt him not to spend his birthday with his family this year.

He's been so busy lately that he's barely had time for anything but football. He was starting to get homesick. Which is why he's so grateful for you. You keep him company and keep his mind off of missing his family.

"She's right here, I'll go get her. So how did you celebrate your birthday?" Ethan asks, sounding excited.

Kylian smiles and looks over at you. "I haven't yet," he replies, watching as you stand up and walk towards the kitchen. "But Y/N got me some amazing gifts. I'm so happy."

Ethan laughs on the other end of the line. "Aww, that's so sweet! What did she get you?"

Kylian grins as he tells Ethan about all the gifts you got him. He can hear his brother making sounds of amazement and excitement as he talks. "And then there was this one shirt," Kylian starts. "She made it herself."

"Wait, what? That's awesome!" Ethan exclaims. "Show me."

Kylian laughs and places the phone on the coffe table, standing up to show Ethan the shirt. He hears Ethan gasp in surprise and smile. "Wow, she really made that?"

"Yeah, I know," Kylian says, sitting back down on the couch. "It's amazing."

He hears Ethan laugh. "She's so cute! You should propose to her already!"

Kylian laughs. "Ethan, she's been my girlfriend for like eight months," he replies. "I'm not proposing yet."

"Aww, come on," Ethan pouts. "You know you want to."

Kylian sighs and rolls his eyes. "Shut up," he replies, laughing.

His mother's figure approches the phone. "Is that Kylian I hear?"

He grins. "Oui, maman," he replies, eyes tearing up slightly at the sight of her. He misses her so much.

She smiles widely. "Bonjour, mon amour," she says, leaning forward so that he can see her better.

He smiles at her and reaches out to touch the screen. "Bonjour, maman," he repeats, voice shaking slightly.

His mother's smile falters for a second when she sees his face, and then it's back to normal. "Are you okay, baby?" she asks.

Kylian nods his head. "Oui, I'm fine. Just a bit homesick," he explains. "But Y/N is keeping me company and making sure I don't miss you guys too much."

His mom nods her head. "Oh good, I'm glad she's there for you," she says. "How was your day? Did you have any fun?" she asks, smiling.

"Not really," he replies, sighing. "We were training all day, and it was exhausting. I'm glad it's finally over and I get a break. But Y/N got me some amazing gifts," he adds, holding up the shirt. "She made this one herself."

His mom's eyes widen in surprise as she stares at the shirt. "Wow, that's beautiful," she exclaims, smiling. "You must have been a good boyfriend," she teases.

Kylian laughs. "I try my best," he replies, grinning.

His mom laughs. "I know you do, baby. You deserve someone who loves you like that." Kylian nods his head, thinking about you. You do love him. He knows that. It's not hard to tell when you look at him the way you do. And he hopes you never stop. Because he can't imagine living without you.

"I have to go, maman," he says after a few minutes. "But I love you and I'll talk to you later," he adds, smiling.

His mom nods her head and smiles. "I love you too, mon amour," she replies, leaning forward to kiss the screen. Kylian smiles and kisses back before saying goodbye and hanging up.

He looks over at you and smiles when he sees you walking towards him. "I love you," he says as you sit next to him. You blush and smile shyly. "I love you too," you reply. And you do. So much it hurts sometimes. But it's a good kind of hurt. A happy kind of hurt.

And you know you'll never stop loving him. Never stop loving him and cherishing him. He's your everything. Your soulmate. Your heart. And you're his. And that's all that matters. That's all that will ever matter.

"So…How are we celebrating tonight?" He asks you. You smile and shrug. "I don't know, whatever you want to do" you reply. Kylian laughs and pulls you into his lap, kissing you softly. You blush and kiss him back, wrapping your arms around his neck. He pulls away slightly and smiles at you.

"What do you think about going out to eat somewhere nice?" he asks. You shrug and nod your head, smiling.

"I would love to," you reply.

Kylian grins and kisses you again. "Let me call for a reservation," he says, pulling away from you and standing up. You watch as he walks over to the counter and pulls out his phone.

You sit on the couch and wait for him to make the call. You can't help but smile as you listen to him talk. He's so adorable when he's concentrating on something. You lean forward and rest your head on your hands, watching him.

He hangs up a minute later and turns to smile at you. "I got a reservation at a nice restaurant for 8," he says, walking over to you and pulling you to your feet. "So let's get ready," he adds, leading you towards the bedroom.

You smile and follow him, already excited for tonight. You know it will be amazing. Everything is always amazing with Kylian. He always makes sure of it. And he always will. He loves you too much not to. He'll always do anything to make you happy. And you'll do the same for him. Anything to make him happy.

And that's how it should be. That's what love is. It's happiness and smiles and laughter. It's Kylian's arms around you and his lips on yours. It's everything good and pure in the world.

It's all that matters.

It's all you'll ever need.

Kylian.

Kylian.

Kylian.

Forever.

-Bianca🌻