#misunderstanding turned reality
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fictionadventurer · 1 month ago
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Maybe I'm being too nitpicky toward the graphic novel children's adaptation of Tolkien and Lewis' lives, but also, I can't emphasize enough that logos is not a Latin word. I'm hardly a scholar here, but even I know that! I have no idea how a mistake that basic got through, and it does make me doubt the rest of the research.
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luna-azzurra · 2 months ago
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Write Characters with Deep Emotional Wounds
(Without Making Them Walking Tragedies)
╰ Start with the scar, not the stabbing. Everyone talks about what happened to your character (The Big Trauma) but honestly? It’s the aftermath that matters. Show me the limp, not the bullet wound. Show me the way they flinch at kindness or double-check locks three times. The wound shapes them more than the event ever did.
╰ Don't make them "Sad All The Time" People with deep hurts aren’t just dramatic sob machines. They make bad jokes. They find weird hobbies. They have good days and then get wrecked by a song in a grocery store. Layers, my friend. Pain is complex and it sure as hell isn’t aesthetic.
╰ Let them almost heal and then backslide. Real healing isn’t linear. One good conversation doesn’t erase ten years of bottled-up grief. Your character might think they’re over it, and then one tiny thing, a smell, a phrase, a look, knocks them right back into the hole. Make them earn their healing. Make us ache for them.
╰ Give them armor and show the cracks. Maybe it’s sarcasm. Maybe it’s perfectionism. Maybe it’s taking care of everyone else so no one notices they're broken. Whatever mask they wear, show us the hairline fractures. Let us catch the moments where they almost drop the act.
╰ Don’t turn their trauma into their only personality trait. Yes, they’ve been through hell. But they also love spicy chips and bad reality TV. They have dumb crushes and secret dreams. A tragic backstory isn’t a substitute for a full human being. Let them be more than the worst thing that ever happened to them.
╰ Let their wound warp their decisions. People protect their wounds. Even badly. Especially badly. They might sabotage good relationships. Or push away help. Or cling too tightly. Make their past live in their choices, not just their flashbacks.
╰ Don’t make the world validate them for existing. Not everyone is going to understand your wounded character. Some people will misunderstand them. Blame them. Get frustrated. And honestly? That’s real. Let your character find their people, after facing the ones who don’t get it. It’s so much sweeter that way.
╰ Wounds can make them kinder—or crueler. Pain changes people. Some become protectors. Some become destroyers. Some do both, depending on the day. Let your character’s hurt make them complicated. Unpredictable. Human.
╰ Don’t heal them just to tie a neat bow on your story Sometimes the best ending is messy. Sometimes the healing is just starting. Sometimes it’s just hope, not a full recovery montage. That’s okay. Healing is a lifelong, terrifying, brave process—and readers feel it when you respect that.
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communist-ojou-sama · 4 months ago
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Above all it just really irritates me to pretend as if the ruling class of the US-anglo empire in 2025 are a bunch of cool-headed capable materialists. Again, this is a fundamental misunderstanding of the process of the decline of empire. Part of how every empire declines is is that its ruling class becomes increasingly incestuous, keeping out talented people of humble backgrounds who might extend the Empire's lifespan and instead turning increasingly important posts within the imperial machine into sinecures for the incompetent progeny of the previous generations of managers of empire. And as the offices of imperial government are increasingly clogged with rich, incompetent sons of fortune, the governing barometer of the imperial administration gradually goes from being some form of pragmatic materialism into being hubristic adherence to the imperial ideology, in defiance to all evidence from reality.
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sweetiechenle · 2 months ago
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reading between the lines ✦ jeno
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pairing: collegestudent!literatureprodigy!jeno x afab!collegestudent!scienceandmathgenius!reader
summary: jeno was the biggest problem you've ever had to solve, but for him you weren't quite an open book either.
w.c: 9.4k
warnings: mdni 18+, MATH, i did so much research i feel like i need to cite my sources, thank you quizlet, angst, hurt and comfort, frenemies to lovers, fluff, jeno and y/n argue a lot and yell at each other, teasing, misunderstandings, YEARNING, kissing, make-ups and confessions, plot WITH porn, love making very intimate, hard with feelings and refuse to listen to each other, unprotected sex (i better not catch y'all doing this), praising, crying, begging, groveling, pet names (baby), oral (f receiving), creampie (YUM), softdomtop!jeno (just as god intended), crack/humor, scientific talk because smart (i never took bio in college), if i forgot anything pls lmk. reblogs and feedback appreciated ♡ fiction ≠ reality. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENO!!!
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‘WHAT’ you gasped, not noticing you had barked it out until everyone turned around and glared at you.
‘i’m sorry?...’ your professor had stopped everyone to bring attention back, she gave you a quizzical look, ‘is there a problem?’
you shook your head, still surprised by your sudden outburst, ‘n-no, i apologize’ you hung your head in shame, red blooming on your cheeks from embarrassment. you had been dreading today, your world literature 1 professor had told you all a week ago that you would be paired up with a partner for your first project. your major in biology and minor in actuarial mathematics required some literature classes to help with ‘scientific writing and understanding’ as your advisor put it. so you figured world literature 1 was the easiest choice, it turned out to actually be hell on earth. your weakest subject was english and literature, you were never a reader growing up unless it was about different sciences, but you always opted for documentaries and videos than reading. growing up, you’d always dread english class, anxiously waiting for whatever science and math class you could have next.
when you tell people that your favorite subject is math and then science they would laugh and usually end it with an ‘i wish’, that was your english and history, you wish you could understand it better, but it always seemed impossible. what you were least expecting was getting paired with the best literature student you knew, jeno. he annoyed you at times, acting like a pretentious asshole going around and quoting shakespeare and some other century-dead author. when you went and quoted pythagroas near him it was now apparently a problem, you two bickered back and forth in class during group introductions about greek philosophers for almost an hour, debating if aristotle was more of a math genius or a linguistics expert.
after the heated discussion, jeno told you ‘i love a good debate, you have some crazy opinions though’ he ended up giving you his phone number. it was only the first week of classes, your first ‘friend’(?), you texted him that night, but no response came. the next week you were struggling with questions your professor had given you all to go with a reading.
you texted jeno:
‘hey is this correct? *PICTURE ATTACHED*
his response chimed on your phone five minutes later:
‘no’
and that was the only response you got, no help, no explanation, you didn’t even know what was wrong with your answer to begin with. fuck this, you ended up calling him, to your surprise he answered with a ‘what?’
you didn’t mean to blow up on him, but it just came out, ‘why can’t you be nice to me for one second and help me with this student homework?’
he sighed, making your ear vibrate with the sound, ‘take back what you said and i’ll help you’
you grumbled but obliged, ‘this homework and reading is not stupid, now please help me’
you guys ended up talking on the phone for almost two hours, discussing different themes from the reading, mostly arguing about who was right, but in the end jeno helped you get answers that were good enough. he talked you through the questions and the actual themes of the reading, the elements, and showed you how to better analysis pieces of literature. you were eternally grateful but absolutely mortified at the same time.
after that phone call, you were psyched, finally finding someone that could help you pass. you were always the person in math classes that everyone went to, you didn’t have to be that person for others anymore. although you remember all the emotional baggage and difficulty when trying to help others study and understand formulas, you wouldn’t ask much of jeno, only when you really needed it.
two weeks ago you found him in the library, doing homework with books scattered around him. the first thing you noticed were glasses that he had never worn before, big frames making his eyes look much bigger in such a cute way. you figured if you asked he wouldn’t mind if you joined him, and you figured that if you asked in an even nicer way, he could help you with the literature homework.
‘hey jeno!’ you greeted him, walking up to his table, he looked up, pink lips still in a straight line, ‘would you mind if i joined you?’
‘i guess not’ he shrugged and moved some of his books out of the way for you, now sitting across from him you smiled slightly and got out your own homework. abstract algebra was your favorite class so far this semester, you never thought getting homework would make you so giddy. you couldn’t believe some people found it excruciating, while it was just a ‘fun activity’ for you. you and jeno continue work in silence, you would steal glances every once in a while, his eyes scanning over the paper as he scribbled down notes and highlight sentences. eyebrows knitting together and whispering out words in order to analyze everything perfectly. you thought it was cute, his lips would curl up into a smile after every question got answered. sitting in front of him, you could see the perfect slope of his nose, his broad shoulders slouched as he leaned into the desk, his large hand brushing his black hair back sporadically. the golden ratio had nothing on him.
not long after the trance jeno left you in, you finished your math homework and now it was time for your enemy: literature. you looked up and glanced at jeno who was writing notes down, ‘hey’ he lifted his head, ‘do you think you could help me with this?’ you motioned down to the paper in front of you, he followed and noticed your blank page compared to his one that was filled.
‘did you even try?’ he questioned, ‘it looks like you haven’t even started’
‘well’ you started with a sheepish smile, ‘i did do the reading, but i could barely understand any of it’
he sighed, his hands reaching under his glasses so he could rub his eyes, ‘okay, and what part did you not understand?’
you grabbed your packet of papers and flipped until you found the sentence, reading out loud, ‘his sense of her inferiority—of its being a degradation—of the family obstacles which judgment had always opposed to inclination, were dwelt on with a warmth which seemed due to the consequence he was wounding, but was very unlikely to recommend his suit’, you looked up at him, offering the best pleading eyes you could muster.
he slightly rolled his eyes, ‘so, basically darcy should put away his pride of being in a higher ranking than elizabeth, but he cares more about her status than love. even while he is proposing, he still looks down on elizabeth and wants her to feel grateful that he is even considering her as a wife’
‘oh, i never thought of it that way’ you mumbled, looking down at your paper again.
‘don’t they teach you stuff like this in high school? god, i fear for your grade when we actually have to read and analyze a whole book and not just passages for exercises’
the sentence was a stab to the heart, taken aback you said nothing as shame burned through your body. growing up you’d have teachers, friends, and your parents comment on your lack of understanding for english and literature, but you’ve never heard a remark like this. it cut deep, you opened and closed your mouth, unable to give an actual response, incapable of making any snide comeback, you gathered your things, got up and walked away from him. before he started to see the tears that made its way down your face.
you avoided jeno as much as you could, you sat nowhere near him in your shared class, never looked in his direction in the courtyard and started taking different routes to other classes. it was working out great for the most part, that was until he had transferred into your biology ‘unity of life’ class three weeks into the semester, at the very last minute of course. rumors were going around that a lot of students had transferred out of his previous one due to it ‘being too hard’ and that the professor ‘was a nightmare’ and he needed a natural science requirement for his major, secondary education if you could remember correctly.
seeing him walk through the door of one of your favorite classes was a different type of personal hell, and you were having a great day so far. you softly groaned, trying to resist the urge to roll your eyes in annoyance. your desk partner seemed to catch on, jaemin turned to you, ‘whats wrong? forgot to do last nights homework?’
you turned towards him, ‘never, i was so excited for this assignment, i finished all the questions as soon as i got home… it’s just… that guy, the one who just walked in’ you glanced back to his lab table, jaemin followed with his eyes, ‘i’m in his literature class and he’s nothing but an egomaniac, basically called me dumb for not understand some passage from a book’
the blond haired boy frowned, ‘he might know some books, but wait until he gets a taste of a real challenge, he transferred too late into the semester, he’s fucked’. your lips twitched up into a smile. you met jaemin the first day of class, introducing himself as a veterinarian science major with a minor in biology. you two became quick friends after you got him coffee one morning, you ended up with two cups after the cafe got your first order wrong. he was nothing but thankful, long discussions in class that lead to topics that never related to science. you got to know him pretty well, often texting and meeting up for study groups with other students from class, you both always paired up in class whenever prompted.
‘that’s fair, would be satisfying to watch him struggle’ you whispered.
he giggled, ‘god you sound like such a sadist’
the professor pulled up his notes as he prepared for the beginning of class, ‘takes one to know one’
you opened your notebook to the current lesson: the cytoskeleton. the professor went through the slideshow while you happily took notes on cells and its structure and stabilities within the cytoplasm. once the professor was done with the lecture, he started asking students questions, seeing if they were paying attention.
‘okay, now what is a delicate coil held together by hydrogen bonding between every fourth amino acid?’ he looks over his roster of students, ‘jeno! why don’t you answer this for us’
on cue, everyone turned to watch him, his head shot up from his notebook in surprise. he obviously looked unprepared, hands nervously pushing his bangs back. ‘oh… um, i don’t know i’m sorry professor, i transferred late into this class and still need to catch up’ his hair looked wild as the tips of his ears shone a bright red.
the poor professor sighed, ‘does anyone want to help jeno out?’
you immediately shot up your hand, ‘y/n?’
you smiled dramaticly, before another breathe you answered, ‘alpha helix’
‘yes, thats correct! great job y/n… now you all need to pay attention, this will be on our first exam coming up in two weeks’ he went on about amino acids and different elements. jaemin leaned into you, ‘nice’ he whispered, a smile on his face. yeah, that would show jeno what you could do.
you peeked back at jeno who whispered ‘two weeks!?’ to himself looking distressed, you felt a pang in your heart. perhaps it wasn’t fair, stuff like this was never taught in secondary school science classes, obviously he was going to struggle. you weren’t going to seek him out and offer help though, he knew science and arithmetic were your strong suits, it was his turn to come running, beg for forgiveness and ask for help.
speak of the asshole, and it shall fart, jeno texted you later that night.
‘hey…’ you scoffed, the audacity of this guy, you resisted the urge to text him back a ‘you should know this already right?’
you texted back a simple ‘what?’
he immediately answered, ‘do you think you could help me with this bio homework and maybe study together for the exam 。°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°。’. shameless.
giving him the benefit of the doubt, you relented. maybe it was an off day for him, ‘i guess, meet me in the library tomorrow, and we’ll start’ he hearted the message and that was the end of the conversation.
you woke up early the next day, grabbing every notebook you had kept over the years that could help jeno. you texted him right after noon, ‘this is an all day affair, meet me in an hour and bring me a caramel macchiato. don’t be late, pride & prejudice wasn’t written in a day’ he liked the message as a response. you left your dorm and headed to the library, setting up a space for a long study session. jeno comes right on time, with two coffees in his hand.
he places the bigger cup down in front of you, ‘large caramel macchiato, with extra caramel, extra vanilla, and extra drizzle’
you look up at him and give him a modest smile, grabbing the drink and taking a sip from the straw and swirling the ice around the cup, ‘thank you, lets get started’ he nodded and pulled out the chair next to you and sat down.
you got out all your notebooks, his eyes widened making you giggle, ‘jesus christ dude, how many notebooks do you have for this class?’
‘well, not all of them are from this class, i brought some from previous classes that i think could help you’ you handed over a stack of notes, which he begrudgingly took. ‘okay, now lets get started…’
you two had spent hours discussing carbohydrates, cellulose, and enzymes. sometimes arguing back and forth about answers, ‘okay so, a system of membranes that modifies and packages proteins for export by the cell?’ you asked jeno as he flipped through his notes.
‘um… integrins?’ he answered, totally unsure of himself in the process.
you smiled, ‘not quite, its the golgi apparatus, integrins are cell-surface receptor proteins… crazy how you don’t remember this from basic biology classes…’ you mumbled the last part.
but of course he still caught it, ‘what was that?’
you shrugged your shoulders, ‘i mean we learn about cells and stuff in secondary school… everyone knows that the golgi apparatus is the packaging and distribution center of the cells, i mean everyone talks about how the mitochondria is the power house of the cell, is that the only thing you remember from biology?’
his eyebrows shot up in surprise, ‘oh? so that's what this is about?’ he smirked, ‘you’re still upset about what i said last week aren’t you?’
your gaze diverted from his line of sight, thankful you wore your hair down this morning so he wouldn’t see the pink burning on the tips of your ears. ‘no… i’m just saying’
‘...saying almost the same exact thing i said?’ jeno smiled, and his eyes turned into crescent moons, happy that he caught you in the act, ‘understandable… well, uh, if you help me, i’ll help you’
you crossed your arms and narrowed your eyes at him, ‘not until you apologize, not everyone can be as good as you in literature’
‘okay, i’m sorry, you are a genius in math and science, now please agree’ jeno pleaded.
‘fine’ you answered.
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another week passed and jeno finally felt comfortable taking the exam, on the other hand your literature professor started talking about a project for that class. jeno reassured you that he would help you in the best way he could, he helped you with literary analysis, notations, and rhetoric. you ended up getting an 85% percent on the most recent homework, excited to show jeno you made your way to the classroom.
‘so, jeno, i’ve been seeing you hanging out with that y/n person in our class’ you stopped before the entrance to the classroom, ‘they literally know nothing about literature and refuse to learn, how could you put yourself through that?’
‘oh, well, um, i don’t know, i’m just helping them with some stuff’ jeno answered. you peeked inside, he was with two other students, a girl and a boy, sitting together in a group.
‘must be pretty frustrating, i don’t know why they are even in this class, fucking moron, am i right?’ the girl responded and you could hear the others, but jeno, laugh.
you could feel your heart break as your mind begin to buzz. eyes watered, and you thought back to your discussion with jaemin, of course you guys were poking fun at jeno too, but nothing this extreme. ‘i mean, i guess one could think that, but everything about th-’ you couldn’t listen anymore, turned your heels and stormed off. stopping at the end of the hallway to through your graded paper away in anger and humiliation. after everything you both did for each other, it made your blood boil in anger and betrayal, you had to get back home. you paced to your dorm, keeping your head down so no one would notice you and your state of mind right now. skipping one literature class wouldn’t hurt.
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so it did, and now here you are, sitting in your literature class with the professor reading out the pairings for the first project. for the rest of the week and over the weekend, you had ignored jeno’s texts and calls, you decided you were finally done with his games. ‘y/n and jeno’ the professor read out to the class.
‘WHAT’ you gasped, not noticing you had barked it out until everyone turned around and glared at you.
‘i’m sorry?...’ your professor had stopped everyone to bring attention back, she gave you a quizzical look, ‘is there a problem?’
you shook your head, still surprised by your sudden outburst, ‘n-no, i apologize’ you hung your head in shame, red blooming on your cheeks from embarrassment.
your professor nodded and resumed her list of partners, after she announced to the class, ‘now sit with your partners and discuss what you all want to do for your projects for the rest of class’
you groaned, you weren’t ready to face jeno yet, you probably never would be. you never wanted to see or speak to him ever again, you shuffled to his seat, taking your time to get over to him and sit down.
‘hey’ he said, ‘you’ve been ignoring me this whole week, whats up?’
fake ass bitch, you thought, he didn’t care, ‘nothing, just not a good week i guess’
he frowned, ‘damn, well, if it makes you feel better, i got a 90% on my first bio exam!’ he beamed, ‘so at least now you know your hard work is paying off’
‘that’s great, glad you’ve been getting at least something out of this’ you deadpanned.
he gave you a quizzical look, but decided to drop the subject, ‘so, for the project i was thinking about covering the tenant of wildfell hall’
you literally didn’t care and let him pick whatever, ‘yeah that’s fine’
his eyes narrowed, giving you a weird look again, ‘okay… so, the book has themes of double standards, religion, morality, and love. i can send you passages that we can cover for our project…’. jeno went on for the next thirty minutes with only little nods and comments from you, agreeing to anything he had to suggest. all you wanted to do was leave, once the professor dismissed class that's what you did, picking up your backpack and storming off with jeno still talking.
you rushed down the hallway, ignoring the calls coming from jeno behind you. with his crazy athletic built he eventually caught up to you, grabbed your shoulder and spun you around. you gazed up at him, he stared down at you, looking for any answer he could find. ‘what is your problem? i thought you’d be happy we were paired up?’ he started interrogating you.
you sighed, almost giving up, ‘jeno, can we just meet up later and talk about it? i’m exhausted right now’
he sighed and his hands fell from your shoulders, ‘i’ll text you’ he nodded, and you turned around and left. once at your dorm you threw your backpack to the side and climbed into your bed, taking a well needed nap. a few hours later, your phone vibrating next to you pulled you out of dream land.
3 missed texts from jeno:
‘y/n, are you able to come over to my apartment soon?’
‘plz stop being so stubborn its annoying plz just talk to me’
‘here’s the address lmk when ur on the way’
you texted him back:
‘sorry i was taking a nap’
‘i can be there in a bit’
you got up and got ready, grabbed your backpack and left for jeno’s. once you got there it took you a good five minutes to have the courage to knock on his door. hesitant you tenderly knocked on the door, after a second he opened up the door and let you inside without another word. he was in shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt and smelled immaculate, you gulped, raking your eyes over his body, strong arms and long legs, a face without imperfections. your heart burned in anger and panic, angry that he was so gorgeous it pissed you off, panic because all you could think was what the fuck am i doing right now? ‘do you want to sit down? i saw you brought your backpack, we can work on some stuff if you want?’
you nodded, walked over to the couch and plopped down, grabbing your backpack you opened it and got your laptop out, pulling up the notes from your calculus 2 class. jeno joined you on the couch, sitting a little bit to close for comfort, but you said nothing. his bare leg brushed against your clothed one, sending a buzzing sensation all throughout your body, trying your best to ignore him you stayed focused on your screen.
question 1: x³ + 2x² - 6z = 4 - 2y²
without a second thought you typed in the answer:
r³cos³0 + 2r² - 6z = 4
submitting it you smiled as the green checkmark popped up, correct on the first try. ‘damn, that’s crazy’ jeno broke the silence, you glanced over at him.
‘what?’ you said turned back to your laptop.
‘i literally understood none of that and you got it on the first try!? that’s literally fucking insane’
you laughed at his outburst, ‘it’s nothing really, it was kind of easy, just plug in the following x and y polar conversion formulas into the equation where possible, then you just rewrite everything and use the formulas to convert the equation into cylindrical coordinates’
jeno howled in laughter, which was contagious enough to make you laugh, ‘that’s insane, you’re amazing’
you cocked your head to the side, intrigued by his word choice, ‘oh? am i?’
his demeanor changed, the air felt heavy as he calmed down and moved closer to you. he leaned in, and you panicked, he glanced down at your lips and back up to your eyes. his long eyelashes met his cheeks, you followed suit and closed your eyes, ignoring the way your mind is screaming at you not to do this. heart says otherwise, as you could hear it beat in your ears, whole body buzzing as his pink, soft lips brushed against yours.
jeno moved in deeper, teeth clinking together as you ravaged your mouth, he was a starved man, and you were the last meal he would ever receive. it was warm and sensual, he reached around your waist and roughly pulled your torso into his. his nose bumped into yours as he moved his head slightly for better access, laptop completely abandoned to the side your arms lifted to his biceps, squeezing hard as you let out a soft moan. you broke the kiss as you pressed against his arms, your forehead leaned on his as you both caught your breath, between pants he smiled and laughed, you did not. anxiety ran your blood cold as now all you could think of was what he had said in the classroom about you. was this all a joke?
‘jeno…’ you started, and his smile faltered, ‘i can’t do this’ you stood up and grabbed your laptop and shoved it haphazardly into your backpack, heatedly rushing out of his apartment and down the hall to the entrance. again you ignored jeno as he called after you, his footsteps echoing behind you. you pushed the heavy door open and the air hit you with the wind flying through your hair. continuing down the lamp-lighted street, the boy was still trying to catch up to you.
‘y/n please, we forgot to talk about it’ he addressed your almost non-existent figure fading into the darkness.
he was hopeless by now, but still refused to give up, he moved again, ‘y/n!’
you stopped and turned around, walking up to him his build now growing hazy as water pooled in your eyes. ‘you wanna talk about it? you WANT to talk about it? FINE, you are such a stuck-up asshole, thinking i’m so stupid because i don’t have the best grade in our lit class. laughing about it with your friends when they call me a moron! you think you’re so great you didn’t even know what the chemical symbol was for sulfur, FUCKING SULFUR JENO’ you were yelling at this point, jabbing your finger into his chest with every emphasis in your anger. ‘you think you can play me in some fucked up game you have going on in your head, keeping me around so you can feel better about yourself and use me for help so you could pass an exam, i know i’ve asked you for help before, but at the end of it, all i wanted to do was be your friend, you could’ve said no, but i couldn’t. you gave me no choice but to give in with the deal that you’d help me in return, and you know what? i needed the help, badly. and you knew that and used it in a discussion with your friends that laughed at me because of it, you know how that made me feel? like absolute shit, i wanted to be your friend but all you have ever done was use me and hurt me, and guess what? you don’t have to fear for’ fingers motioning air quotations, ‘my grade because i got a good grade on my homework thanks to you, so thank you jeno! i really appreciate the help, i hope it really boosted your ego, maybe you can go fucking write a book about it or something, i don’t know and i don’t care, but i’m done’ your face was probably beet red at this point, while angry tear's avalanche down your face, you hastily whipped your face and snot that escaped during your outburst. his face focused into view, he was so pretty, and that made you tear up all over again, he could have been different.
he looked defeated, frustrated as his fists clenched into balls and relax over and over, ‘y/n, please let me explain, i di-’ you stopped him, placing your hand in front of his face.
‘do the math jeno, the probability that i would ever hear you out is slim…’ you turned and started walking away, briefly glancing back, he was still in the same spot. ‘it’s S by the way, the symbol for sulfur, maybe now you’ll remember it when you think back on this night… not so proud after all’ your voice cracked at the last sentence as your heart wrenched and stomach mangled, tears breaking through yet again.
you left him there.
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you decided not to tell jaemin about what happened, but jeno’s absence was evident. you couldn’t sleep, all that replayed in your nightmare was his soft lips brushing against yours, and you swore you could still feel his strong arms pulling you forward, into him. the feeling that gave you clawed at your heart, beating you down every single time you closed your eyes and pictured his face smiling at you, laughing at you, annoyed at you. anything he gave you, you would take, no matter how much it broke you down. you liked him, no, you like him. even after everything he’s done, you still held a soft spot for him in your fractured heart. all the phone calls that turned into facetime when he would ask for help with math, and you had to show him the steps of a problem. laughing every time you would shake trying to hold your phone steady as he jokingly squawked, ‘keep still!’ when he would read passages to you over the phone late at night, and you’d have fallen asleep to his tender voice before he could even explain the motif. it had only been 5 weeks of class, but it felt like you had known him longer, despite your differences in subjects you both eventually subsided the arguments with long discussions and debates on why one answer was right and how the other was wrong. revelations that came to light after hours of going back and forth.
you stood in the shower, blankly staring at the white ceramic wall in front of you as droplets rained down. you thought about the day you and jeno were studying in the library, renting a study room within because you figured the discussion would be heated. it ended up in a feverish battle between the differences of cell adhesion and cell migration. by the end of it you were standing up, hands pulling at your roots in irritation trying to explain it to the boy sat down in front of you with a shit-eating grin adorning his face. ‘y/n, y/n, stop, stop, please, i can’t take it anymore’ he laughed, clutching his stomach, ‘i got it, while they are tightly associated, cell adhesion provides structural support and stability to tissues, while cell migration is the directed movement of cells from one location to another’
your arms dramatically dropped to your sides, ‘YOU KNEW THIS WHOLE TIME’ pointing, you accused him.
he laughed again at your reaction, ‘i just love seeing you like that, it’s cute, you know i just love a challenge’ he exclaimed going back to his notes.
you laughed to yourself, recalling the moment of the playful banter and subtle flirting that slipped out on occasion. you giggled, howled, and snorted a little too much at the memory, which silently followed into your heart sinking to the bottom of your stomach, the shower masking the uncontrollable sobs that carried through every limb, appendage, and bone.
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jaemin went on and on about some story about his roommates, you paid barely any attention, eyes glued to the door as you waited to see if he would show up. the blond boy slurred his words, leaning into you now, trying to get you to look at him. you turned your body, he was giving you a pouty face with big, shining eyes, ‘i asked you a question y/nnie. were you even listening to me?’ he tugged on the sleeve of your hoodie, his strength made you feel like a rag doll.
‘i was… and the answer is yes?’ you said, unsure about whatever he was yapping about.
he beamed and clapped playfully, ‘yippie! i knew you could use a pick-me-up, i promise it’ll be fun, the party is saturday so clear your schedule, i’ll pick you up’
your shoulder shook as you lightly laughed at his theatrics, rubbing your temple in exasperation as to what you just got yourself into, ‘sounds like fun’. you barely noticed jeno walking in out of the corner of your eye. he looked worse than you did, a hoodie with a stain, sweats that looked they were able to fall apart, mis-matched socks and unkempt hair. he kept pushing his glasses up his nose and rubbing his tired eyes. your heart skipped a beat when you noticed his dark circles that almost matched yours, his being a little worse for wear. before he could catch you staring, you quickly focused your attention to the professor starting class, going through the roaster and continuing the lecture on cells.
‘can anyone tell me the variations in cell types? jeno, got an answer?’ the professor smiled at him, everyone turned to spectate and wait for him to answer, except you.
‘um, prokaryotic and eukaryotic’ he dragged, sounding uninterested despite getting the question right.
‘yes! very good jeno’ the professor praised, moving on to the next question. you started to sweat, angry that he got it right and yet you were now holding on your high c- in literature class. how come he could now catch onto science but yet, you were still unable to grapple with the concepts of a victorian classic novel? or maybe it was the fact you had skipped every class this week, refusing to work with jeno on anything, you noticed the text and calls from him were dwindling three days after the confrontation, however everyday he sent pictures of his notes and analysis on the reading and how the project was going. as pathetic as it was, you continue to lay awake in bed nearly every night rereading his text from that night:
i know you are angry and probably hate me right now and that’s understandable, but i don’t want to give up on you, on us. do you think newton gave up on the laws of motion after he failed on the first or second try? you aren’t getting the whole picture, plz give me a chance to explain, i don’t even know if you are reading this, but if you are, plz hear me out you got it all wrong about that day in the classroom, and if it felt like i was using you, i’m sorry. that was never my intention, i just like being around you, you are always quick-witted and i was just trying to taunt you so you’d pay attention to me because i really like you, ig that backfired badly lol. anyway, i hope this will change your mind, and you’ll reach out, i’ll give you time.
followed by a very unserious message that you couldn’t help but smile at:
oh, i almost forgot, don’t worry about the project, but you could come to class, i’m starting to fear for your grade again (,,>﹏<,,) (only kidding!)
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another biology class and 2 skipped lit classes pass and the weekend was finally brought upon the world. you held the pleasure of assisting jaemin to a party hosted by someone he knew from one of his health classes. it took forever for you to pick out a cute outfit, but opted for a sleeveless shirt and basic jean shorts and a pair of white sneakers you found buried in the back of your small closet. you carefully did your makeup, usually not taking it too far, but this was special, and you needed to feel like a bad bitch tonight.
jaemin showed up an hour later, deciding to walk to the house 4 blocks down, saying he wanted ‘to get turnt with you’ and that he refused to drink and drive. you agreed, walking sounded better than looking for a driver or someone having to stay sober throughout the night. you exited your building and found jaemin’s car in the lot, he climbed out to greet you and whistled, eyes eating up your form, ‘damn, you look hot’
you smiled bashfully, ‘thanks jaemin, even nerds can be hot you know?’
he turned to lock his car, ‘i mean, yes, but like, you always look cute, but this is like the freaky side of you, it’s different… it’s nice’
you cackled, ‘please never call me freaky ever again, i’m going to revoke your brain rot privileges’
he admitted defeat and dropped the conversation, you both now walked down the sidewalk in perfect silence with the sun now set, surveying the rows of houses in different stages of life in the moon glow. ‘it’s this one’ jaemin nudged you, stopping, he pointed to the house on the corner, you nodded and wrapped your arm around his, linking together so you immediately wouldn’t get lost in the sea of a potential crowd. he opened the old, green door, and you followed, as expected there was a good amount of people attending and as the night worn on you figured more would pile in.
jaemin turned to you, ‘do you wanna go find some drinks?’
‘yes, please’ you quickly nodded as he pulled you through the throng of people, trying to find the kitchen.
once you were there, the host of the party seemed to also be there, ‘jaemin! glad you could make it man’ they dabbed each other up and touched shoulders embracing in a ‘bro hug’.
‘hell yeah, no way i’d not come for the first party of the semester, i brought my friend along with me!’ he pulled you closer to him, now giving you the floor as all attention was pulled towards you, wincing as jaemin jabbed at your side, urging you to get closer to his friend.
‘hi, i’m y/n’ you said giving him a genuine smile, holding out your hand.
‘oh my, you are gorgeous, and you came with this sleaze bag’ he nodded towards jaemin who just playfully hit his friends shoulder, ‘i’m donghyuck, but everyone calls me haechan, its a pleasure to meet you’ he softly took a hold of your hand and bent down to give it a little peck, you giggled at the eccentric greeting.
jaemin tore haechan away, ‘alright, not too much now’ he joked, ‘it’s time for shots’ haechan clapped and guided you both to the kitchen island that was filled with different alcohol, he picked out a clear liquid and poured them into plastic shot cups he grabbed from a neat stack. jaemin lifted up his cup, ‘fuck pharmacology’ you snickered at his comment and raised your cup along with haechan who nodded in agreement. on cue, you threw back the cup and shuddered as the sweet nectar burned your throat. ‘hell yeah! another! at the end of the night i want to be able to forget about fucking blood urea nitrogen and blood glucose’ haechan laughed and poured another in all 3 cups. after that it was another, and then another, and after about 6 shots you tapped out and opted for a gin and coke that haechan was more than happy to make for you.
more time had passed than you thought as more people flooded the kitchen, wrecking havoc on the choices of liquor, haechan handed you your cup and jaemin motioned for you both to move to the living room. people were dancing, some were playing beer pong off in the corner, and others were chatting on various furniture. ‘want to dance a bit?’ he whispered in your ear because of the loud music that made the floor vibrate under your seat, you could feel it rattling your brain. giving him a silent nod he grabbed your hand and led you through the crowd, finding a spot and finding the rhythm of the song. you bobbed your head to the beat and moved back and forth with jaemin in front of you, you always thought he was attractive, but you saw him nothing more than a friend, you felt comfortable around him. you nursed your drink slowly, already somewhat tipsy from the shots, you didn’t want to get drunk too fast or blackout. jaemin grabbed your free hand and twirled you around, dramatically moved your joined hands with fever. you laughed along with him, indulging him in an embarrassing, yet fun dance that probably made you both look wasted to others.
his arm snaked around your waist, pulling you close much to your surprise, pleasanton’tkissmepleasedon’tkissmepleasedon’tkissme ran rampant in your mind as he leaned towards your ear ‘don’t look now, but a certain someone is staring at you from across the room, you let out a strangled breath.
‘do you know who it is?’ you whispered back.
‘jeno’ he mused and your lively spirited fell.
‘whats up? something go down with him?’ he pestered.
‘um, kinda, its a long story’ you faltered and jaemin frowned.
‘damn, that serious? his loss, he can look all he wants’ jaemin wanted to be lighthearted, make you smile again and keep jeno out of your mind. you were grateful as he pulled you into another whimsical dance, the joyful nature of his was infectious.
after a couple more songs had passed, you had downed your whole drink and let go of jaemin’s hand, ‘i’m gonna go find haechan and have him make me another drink, it was surprisingly superb’ jaemin nodded and said he would stay in the same spot for your return.
you hastily made your way to the kitchen, apologizing to others you had to push through. the small room was almost empty, haechan was nowhere in sight so you looked for a different drink. ‘having fun with jaemin?’ a voice boomed from behind you, one that you knew all too well. you slowly turned to find jeno smirking at you, leaning against the fridge adorned in a tight white shirt and ripped jeans, oh fuck this stupid earth, he just had to follow you here looking like that.
‘yes i am, actually’ you stated matter-of-factly.
his lips twitched up in amusement, ‘is that so?’ he moved in closer, eventually trapping you between him and the liquor table. jeno’s soft brown eyes met yours, searching for something inside, however, his eyes told you everything, hope, they screamed. his hand lifted towards your face, slowly brushed against the skin lighter than a feather, taking a piece of your hair and pushing it behind your ear, ‘so he wouldn’t mind this?’. his eyes fluttered closed as he bowed towards you.
before he could seal the deal, ‘jeno’ you stopped him.
he sighed, defeated, ‘just please talk to me, you said the probability was slim, but not zero, let me explain’ jeno begged, his large hands caressed your cheeks tenderly, they were soft and warm.
you could blame the alcohol as you finally let him speak his case, ‘fine, we can find somewhere private’
he smiled, eyes disappearing in relief. he grabbed your hand, leading upstairs and into an empty room, he closed the door behind him as you took a seat on the bed, ‘alright, grovel and explain’ you lifted your phone up to check the time ‘you have 10 minutes’
he gave you a smug smile, ‘that’s all i need baby, you know i love a challenge’ you rolled your eyes at his attempt to uplift the tension fogging the air. ‘that day in the classroom, you obviously didn’t stay long enough to hear what i had to say about you, at first i didn’t know how to respond being put into that position was hard, you didn’t ‘put me through anything’ though, i had nothing but fun with you, even if it was frustrating at times. we always figured it out. but when i heard what she said after i wasn’t just going to allow it, i said ‘yeah i guess one could say that’ because these people literally do not know you like i do, i finished with ‘but everything about that is completely untrue, they are willing to learn, but it's just taking longer than some of us who take a bunch of english and literature classes. if you got to actually know her you’d see how bright they actually are. a literal math genius and a real mastermind of science, could answer any question from the top of their head, it’s insane. so while we are strong in this subject, they are just stronger in other fields’ he explained, watching you intently. you wiggled under his gaze, making you feel same, but itched for him to go on, ‘i then told her that she should not speak on things she knows nothing about and left because i will not associate myself with someone who talks like that about people i care about’ he emphasized the last words carefully, grabbing hold of your hand and lifting you from the bed, ‘y/n, i’m so sorry, it was never my intention to hurt you, ever. i care about you so deeply, you show up in every romance novel i read, every poem i skim, the stories i write… it’s all you’ jeno gazed down at you, his eyes now searching for an answer, hope, and panic could only be found in his as you studied his features in the warm glow of the moon peaking through the window.
‘you really said that? you defended me?’ you questioned him quietly.
‘yes y/n, i would never let anyone hurt you, even if you aren’t in the room, because in that case, they hurt me too’
you hummed, the haze of your brain clouded any judgment you held, he was something different, the greatest math problem that needed to be solved. ‘thank you jeno, i guess it’s now my turn to apologize’
he chuckled at you, ‘no need baby’ you laughed softly, ‘now, can we pick up where we left off? you know, someone once told me that pride and prejudice wasn’t written in a day’ he wagged his eyebrows at you, moving you into an embrace as he kissed the top of your head. you held on tightly, holding him as you buried your face into his chest swallowing his scent so you could save it for later.
the hug ended, but he still held you close in his arms, ‘i guess i could pick up another chapter or two’ he laughed at your poor pun and drooped down, so his lips could meet yours. it was messier than the first kissed you shared with him, wet and heated as you could taste the soju on his tongue. he moved at a faster pace, devouring you like an animal, jeno walked you towards the bed, you gave in falling down with him, with him climbing on top of you, never breaking away. teeth on teeth echoed throughout the room as you moaned, his hands exploring every part of your body, making your core burn more and more.
jeno dipped down to attack your neck in kisses and sucking at the exposed skin, hands finding a way to his hair and tugging slightly at the intimate feeling of him being closer than ever. ‘please, tell me you’re mine, please want me’ he breathed out, the air softly hitting your ear, making the hair on the back of your neck stand up. he was desperate, kissing you anywhere he could and waited for you to answer.
‘y-yes jeno, i’m yours’ you choked out, ‘i want you in every way’ satisfied with your response he growled and his mouth met yours once more, ‘p-please touch me’ you begged frantically, needing anything to ease the sensation that pooled in the pits of your stomach.
jeno hummed, fingers brushing up and down your exposed stomach, ‘where baby? use your words, remember what i taught you?’ it was your turn to make demands now, wasting no time you grabbed his hand and brought it down between your legs, he cupped your vagina. you groaned, you needed more. jeno grabbed the waistband of your shorts and pulled them down and threw them behind him, the cool air hit your core making you rub your thighs together in order to find little warmth.
he carefully pulled your underwear down, wanting to savor the moment of finally seeing you bare, he gulped, ‘god, you have such a pretty pussy’ he took his hand and rubbed the sensitive skin, ‘so wet. just for me, right? all for me baby’ you cried out at his words. he inserted a finger into your weeping hole, making you gasp out in surprise at the feeling of just one finger filling you up dangerously. as he pushed back and forth your legs trembled, he added another finger and brought his head down to your core, ‘i bet you taste amazing’ was all he said before he dove in deep, his tongue against your clit as he drank up your juices and sucked on the flesh.
‘f-fuck’ you mewled, grabbed a hold of his soft, black hair in order to keep you grounded, with every thrust he made as he fucked with his mouth you tugged on his hair, pulling when you would feel the band about to snap, jeno groaned, loving the way you’d use him for stability.
he stopped and removed his face, you whined from the loss of contact as his fingers also found their way outside of you, he smiled ‘don’t worry, my pretty baby, i’ll take care of you’. he threw off his shirt nearly getting drunker with the way you were taking him in, he loved being adored by you, in such a calculated way that made sense in every story. you followed suit and removed your top and bra, baring naked in front of him and laid back on the bed as he admired you from afar, ‘you’re so beautiful’ he breathed, discarding his pants and underwear he crawled back on top of you, whispering sweet nothing's as he peppered your collarbone and breasts with kisses.
‘are you sure you want this? it might hurt a little at first, but i promise i’ll go slow until you tell me otherwise’ he towered over you.
your glassy eyes met his in reassurance, ‘yes, jeno i want this’ you confirmed everything for him. he quickly lined up his cock with your cunt and gently pushed inside, his eyes never leaving yours. your hands grasped around his muscled biceps, digging your nails into them when the pain was strong. once he bottomed out he stopped to let you get used to his size, you shared sensual kisses and sweet touches, jeno doing everything in his power to make you feel loved and safe at that moment going forward, that’s all he ever wanted to do. for weeks, he had been beating himself up for taking the teasing comments way too far at times, poking fun at something you were obviously insecure about, but you did the same, he figured it was kind of the thing you two had. in reality, he wanted to push you to do better, making comments like that so you’d work harder and prove everyone wrong. no one could work with you better than him, so he had gone out of his way to ask the pressor to pair you up on the project, also making the forced proximity making you talk to him after you stopped answering his calls and messages. he should have gone a better way about motivating you, but now that he had your forgiveness, he could work on better strategies.
‘jeno, you can move now’ you rasped out, still holding on his arms like an anchor with a boat. he pulled out and pushed back in, taking it slow as you moaned at the feeling of him filling you up to the brim, jeno picked up the pace, setting a steady rhythm as skin clapping together filled the room, ‘oh fuck, just like that’ your chest heaving up and down.
he slammed into with vigor, bitting your bottom lip as you opened your mouth to let out a breathless moan, ‘yeah? you like that? fuck, you’re so tight, literally sucking me in, i never want to leave this pretty fucking pussy’ he husked, he licked your lips and kissed your jaw as he grunted, setting a faster pace, making you cry out in pleasure. he grabbed your legs and opened them wider, giving him better access to go deeper into your abused cunt. you cried as the flame in your belly raged with a thousand fires, ‘keep your eyes on me baby’ jeno demanded, automatically making you swallow as you moved your eyes to meet his, blown out pupils filled with lust as your vision of him became blurry as blissful tears threaten to fall with every snap on his hips digging into you. you’ve had flings and hook-ups before, but nothing as profound as this, the eye contact, togetherness of him never backing too far away from your hold, you were being wholly consumed by jeno. everything right down to your core, he was all you could feel, taste, see, and think about.
‘o-oh my god’ you sobbed, hips jerking up at the feeling of the ripples burning through you, the coil in your stomach tightening, craving to break open, ‘m gonna cum’ you clenched around him, making jeno hiss above you at the feeling of tightness around his throbbing dick.
‘go on baby, cum for me,’ he whimpered as the feeling for him also grew intense, the way your cunt hugged his dick was making his mind spin. jeno mumbled incoherently ‘i’m so close baby, let go, you can let go, i got you’ from his words and the way he pounded into you made you snap, legs trembling as liquid gushed from your core and past his cock and dripped onto the sheets. light-headed and dizzy you cried out for jeno as your orgasm burst over you.
you clenched again, feeling overwhelmed by the euphoric feeling, ‘oh, fuck’ jeno cursed as he stilled inside of you, painting your insides with his seed, he groaned at the sensation of finally filling you up and properly claiming you as his and his alone. he stayed there for a couple of minutes inside of you. savoring the static of the overstimulation and pleasure of release. you winced as the hot liquid poured out of you when he pulled out, the emptiness of it all. jeno watched as his cum slide down your hole and onto the sheet, he scooped up the remaining liquid that rushed out of you and shoved it back into your clit with two fingers, making you cry at the sensitivity. ‘fuck that was… one of the best experiences of my life’ he caught his breath and plopped down facing you, he gently caressed your chin, bringing your head to his as he softly left kisses on your lips, ‘let me get you cleaned up baby’
‘m tired’ you whispered, barely able to keep your eyes open.
‘i know, but let me take care of you and get you dressed, i know theres extra clothes somewhere around here’ he started rummaging around the wardrobes, digging into them in order to find anything adequate. ‘aha!’ he put on a clean pair of underwear and sweats, ‘i’ll be right back baby’ he left the room and came back after for what felt like an eternity with a warm wash cloth and clean clothes, ‘these are mark’s girlfriends pj’s i’m sure she won’t mind,’ he hummed, wiping you clean, and dressing you in the soft, clean clothes. he picked you up so he could throw the covers back, tucking you in with a kiss on the nose, ‘you’re so cute’
you lazily smiled at him, settling into the sheets as you clung onto his warm frame, ‘who’s room is this by the way?’ you whispered as jeno shut his eyes.
‘mark’s. doesn’t matter. you’re my girlfriend now right?’ he leaned his head on yours.
‘mmm girlfriend yes. mark who?’ words fell from your mouth as you yawned, sleeping coming to find you soon.
‘mark, shark.’ he dismissed you, ‘just be ready for a stern talk when we wake up from the man himself.’ he kissed your head as you drifted off to sleep, the morning was the least of your worries now, you finally figured out the solution, the obvious answer being: jeno.
890 notes · View notes
i9messi · 6 months ago
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Don't break up with me — Oscar Piastri
Because of a misunderstanding, Oscar thinks you want to break up with him. Signals made him suspect he was right, but in fact, you just want to surprise him with a new puppy.
word count — 1,3k
note: i promise you this is pure fluff and romantic stuff. oscar here loves reader soo much, so I hope you enjoy it!
MASTERLIST
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Oscar started to think about the last half of the year. Everything in your relationship had been so wonderful in those last few months, almost too perfect to be real.
You went to support him to his races every weekend, had romantic dates in your favourite places, went to museums and book stores and enjoyed ordinary things such as going together to the market. You had a beautiful relationship, where you supported each other and talked about your concerns as well as your future. Having known each other since you were teens, you and Oscar had talked many times about what you wanted to do in the future: to get marry and start a family.
Your families were very close, his mother loved you and you loved her, even spent time with her when he was not around. Your side of the family adopted him as their son, showing love to him.
There was no way you would break up with him. It made no sense.
However, the signs were there. That morning before heading to the circuit he had called you and you interrupted him, saying you were busy. That would have made sense and it was fine, except then he talked later to his mom and she told him you had been texting her all morning. Why didn’t you want to talk to him?
It was bad. That couldn’t be happening.
“Oscaaaaaaaaaaarr.” Someone shouted and that made him come back to reality.
Lando was in front of him, while he was sitting on the couch. Oscar used to be the most calm in your relationship. He took things easy, used to think before taking action, but now thinking so much was turning him into a person full of insecurity.
“What's wrong?” Lando asked, realizing that his teammate was acting differently than usual.
“Nothing.”
“Is this about your girlfriend?”
Oscar didn't try to hide the truth, not with him. “I think she’s going to break up with me.”
Lando was silent for a moment, until he burst out laughing.
“Don’t laugh, I feel bad. I’m devastated.”
“She’s not gonna break up with you, mate.”
You didn’t live together yet, you hadn’t taken that step in your relationship yet, but you practically lived next to each other. Your apartments in Monaco were only a few meters away. Yesterday he had invited you on a date and you told him that you couldn’t go. Lately it was as if you didn't want to spend your time together, as if his mere presence was annoying to you.
“How are you so sure?”
“Because you're the perfect couple. You love each other, you show the world how adorable you are, and then make everyone else feel miserable.”
“I don’t think that’s true anymore, Lando.”
“Go talk to her, then. Crying and feeling bad about it won’t solve a thing. Go and win back your lady.”
Oscar listened to his teammate, knew he couldn’t waste time or the opportunity to talk with you. He found you just a few minutes later and you hugged him, while he left a kiss on your forehead.
“Baby, I missed you.”
“I missed you too, Oscar. Congratulations for the race, I'm very proud of you.”
That had to mean something, didn’t it? If you hadn’t missed him and if you didn’t want him more in your life, you wouldn’t have answered that. Oscar was trying to convince himself that he still had a chance with you.
“Let’s go to my house.” he suggested, as you raised your head and looked at him with a face that showed no feelings.
“We better go to mine. We need to talk.”
Damn. You were going to break up with him. You never spoke like that, you had never said those words before.
On the way to your apartment in Monaco, he drove quietly. Oscar noticed you were nervous. You ran your hand through your hair and barely spoke. You were acting strange. He was increasingly convinced that once you arrived at your home, you would tell him that you wanted to break up with him.
The road was eternal and the worst of the worst. You arrived and stayed in the living room.
“Would you like some water?”
“Yes, please.”
You went to the kitchen to get a glass of water and came back a few seconds later. He drank the water in a single instant, too thirsty and nervous.
“Is something wrong, Oscar?”
“Do you want to break up with me?”
You stayed silent, until Oscar spoke again. His eyes were shining, his hair was messy from all the times he had passed his hands over it.
“Don’t break up with me, please. I don’t know what I would do without you in my life, you're my everything. I love you, that’s all I know. If I did something wrong just tell me, I'll try my best to not make the same mistake again."
“Oscar, baby…”
He hesitated, but he walked a step closer to you. Oscar was trying to not lose his mind.
“We can’t break up."
His supplicant gaze begged you not to leave him, not when he needed you so much.
“I love you and my life would be shattered without you.”
And something happened. You smiled.
“Oscar, I’m not breaking up with you. I don’t know what made you think I would.”
Calm made Oscar relax, but he remained confused. He was very sure of all the signs he had seen, he wasn't crazy and he was not imagining things. You had been acting strangely in those last days.
“Then why have you been acting so weird?”
“Wait for me, I’ll be right back!”
You left and came back a while later with something in your arms. A little puppy.
“It’s for you, honey.”
Oscar couldn’t help but come closer to you to see the puppy. The animal looked at him with a little mistrust, but once his hand came to caress the dog, the puppy began to move his tail with happiness, while you saw him with a smile on your face.
“A dog? For me?”
“It was a surprise. I talked with your mum about it and she even helped me. When you'll be busy with work stuff, I will be taking care of him.”
Your boyfriend grabbed the animal in his arms, the puppy ran his tongue over his face and Oscar squinted his eyes, while he couldn't stop feeling his heart beating frantically in his chest.
“l didn't expect this, thank you.”
“I would never break up with you, Oscar. You make me happy. That’s why I thought of adopting a puppy for you.”
“Then why were you acting so weird?”
“Because I wanted it to be a surprise. Yesterday I went to get him and that’s why I canceled our plans. Today the puppy peed in the clothes I was going to wear, just when you called. Also, he started barking and didn’t want you to find out. It was my little secret.”
Oscar had never been so happy, he left a kiss on your lips. Your mouths joined and he smiled so happily.
“I love you, you made me the happiest man in the world.”
“We have our little family now, Oscar. We are parents of a dog.”
Even as you planned to start a family when you were old enough, sharing the life of a pet was everything to him. Sharing the care and affection of a puppy made his tender and loving part appear.
“I love you and I love this animal. I will take care of you and him for my whole life.”
You weren't breaking up with him, that was the best part of all.
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pretty-little-mind33 · 1 month ago
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James Potter x Slytherin!fem!reader
Summary: Being friends with benefits with James Potter isn't all you want, it just takes you a while to come to terms with that reality.
Genre: a mix of everything
Warnings: reader and James are 18, suggestive, sex, friends with benefits, misunderstanding trope, reader and James are both delusional lol, reader is stubborn and headstrong, James x Lily, hint of enemies to lovers
ask: [...] like give me the angst of wanting to be detached but feeling insecure when you see him with someone else (or vice versa) or the hurt comfort where you both start to fall for each other but don’t know how to deal with it!
~ thank you for requesting my dear 🫀anon. Sorry this took forever ~
JAMES POTTER MASTERLIST
When the four infamous Gryffindors saunter into the Common Room to attend one of the Slytherin parties, no one is surprised, at least not since Sirius and Regulus Black reconciled their differences.
Tonight is Regulus's 17th birthday, which meant Sirius had made James promise he would be on his best behavior. 
However, the latter doesn't seem to be doing a good job as his eyes are trained on Severus Snape and Lily Evans, who are standing much too close for his liking. James downs his fourth fire-whiskey and turns to Remus, shaking his head drunkenly.
"What a pompous prick," he slurs, his cheeks turning pinker. The collar of his chemise is overturned and Remus sighs, fixes it for his best friend.
"He isn't hurting anyone," Remus mutters.
James rolls his sharp hazel eyes, glaring at the couple in the corner. He hates how Lily laughs at whatever stupid joke he's telling her. He hates how happy she looks with someone who isn't him. Ever since their break up a few months ago, James's patience with Severus has been almost non-existent.
He walks forward, his shoulders squared, and walks right into you. 
His drink spills all over your blouse, causing you to gasp. 
"Sorry," James grumbles but he doesn't even glance your way as his gaze remains fixated on Lily.
You snap your head up, glaring at him. You feel embarrassed as James's drink is sticky. He doesn't seem to care as struts over, successfully breaking up Lily and Severus' conversation, and leaving you alone. Your gaze narrows.
"You good?" Daniel, the guy you've liked for a while, asks, coming up behind you as he returns from the loo. You don't answer him, simply watching as James embarrasses himself and shoves Severus away. "He's a twat, even outside the pitch," Daniel grunts, crossing his arms and sending James a dark look.
You knew of his rivalry with James Potter but honestly, you couldn't care less at that moment. All that matters is that Daniel's attention is on you as he inspects your blouse. You shrug. "He's a dick. C'mon,"
You lead Daniel up the stairs, to a secluded corner near the dormitories. Daniel leans against the wall, frowning a little as he senses your hand slide up his chest and your lips hover close to his neck. He catches your wrist and laughs, his gaze sharp on yours. 
"You're joking, right? 'M not gonna sleep with you, Y/l/n. You're not that kind of girl." 
You snatch your hand away from him, an expression of hurt spreading across your features. "I'm not what kind of girl?" you ask, narrowing your gaze at him. Daniel's eyes watery from his laughter and you feel even more stupid. 
"The kind you sleep with," Daniel shrugs, "It's not a bad thing, let's go back to the party,"
"Do you not think I'm pretty?" you interrupt, the drinks you'd had rushing to your head as your eyes narrow. When David looks like he could burst into laughter again, you don't give him much time to explain himself as you run up the stairs to your dorm.
You've never felt as stupid as you do now. You slam your door shut, collapsing onto your bed as you hug your pillow. Tears threaten to spill but you don't let them. Daniel McLaggen can fuck himself.
You're the kind of girl someone fucks.
You are. 
Wiping your tears, you stand and rush down to the Common Room again. This time, you simply walk by Daniel and you don't even bother turning to see his expression when you brush him off as you make a beeline towards someone who you wouldn't have even considered otherwise.
You only think of him because of Daniel's previous words.
James Potter stands to the side now, having been pulled away by Remus, still fuming. Without thinking you walk up to him. He turns his gaze, his eyebrows creasing. 
"Can I help–"
"Can I kiss you?" you blurt out, cheeks burning. You needed to ask. You couldn't just ambush him without consent. Still, James looks just as shocked as he would have if you'd simply kissed him. His jaw falls open and he clears his throat. 
"Is this some kind of joke?" he asks, uncharacteristically nervous. 
You shake your head, resisting the urge to make sure Daniel is watching. You keep your eyes on James. "It might make Lily Evans jealous," you try and convince him, although you aren't even sure if she'd care. 
James thinks abut it for a moment.
"Oh, well, okay, sure," James says with a small nod and you move closer, wrapping your hand around his tie. Without wasting time, you pull him into you and crash your lips onto his. He tastes like fire-whiskey and raspberry pastries but you don't care. You move your hand to his hair, tighten your fingers in his curls, lips moving in sync with his. Once James kisses you back, his hands find your hips and he holds you steady. 
He's a pretty damn good kisser. 
Soon, one thing leads to another and you wake up in his dorm room. Your clothes are scattered around the floor. Thank Merlin he's Head Boy or you'd have his roommates to worry about. James is still sleeping, his arm tucked under his pillow as he snores lightly.
Sitting up, you hold the sheets over your naked body as the events of last night play in your mind. You look at James, biting the inside of your cheek. You shouldn't have taken things this far. All to prove yourself to some arsehole? No, this shouldn't have happened. 
Your gaze softens. James looks so peaceful in his lip. You resist the urge to touch his hair.
Cursing, you promise yourself it will never happen again as you sneak out of his room.
And still, week after week you find yourself twisted in his sheets again and again. 
Turns out, fucking around with James Potter is addictive.
* * * Four Months Later * * *
"Hiya, love," James announces happily, plopping himself onto the chair in front of yours in the library. He's loud so you shush him, your finger pressed to his lips as he leans forward over the small desk. You don't look up from your book. You need to pass Potions and you don't have time for distractions. 
James smirks against your finger. "Whatcha workin' on?"
"An essay, now be quiet, you're annoying me."
James laughs and lays his head on his arm, his dark curls falling over his features as he draws small little hearts near your hand as you write. He's teasing you on purpose. Looking up, you narrow your gaze. "What's your problem, James?"
"Are you coming over tonight?"
The question causes you to flush and you look away, focusing on your essay again. You think for a moment, letting his words wash over you. It is Thursday, meaning you usually meet him in his dorm. Your cheeks burn. 
"Hmm," you nod and then push his hand away, "now bugger off, you're being such a knob." You keep your voice calm and steady, knowing James has too much power over you.
In all honesty, you're still not used to this; being friends with benefits with James Fucking Potter. You're barely friends, it's mostly all benefits, or at least that is what you like to think. It makes the situation so much easier when you're riding him in his room and he's muttering praises in your ear.
It helps keep the lines clear. 
Lines that James loves to blur.
That evening as he snaps your bra open and presses kisses on your chest and stomach, he makes conversation; "Will you come to my game tomorrow?" he asks hopefully, still kissing you. 
You gasp, arching and running your hand in his hair as you lean into his mouth. "U-um, yeah–sure."
He pulls away and sends you an adorably stern look. "I'm being serious. Please come. I want you there."
Your chest rises and falls as you gently rock your hips against him. "I said I would," you whisper, annoyance lacing your tone. James senses your frustration and smirks. He leans forward and wraps his strong arms around your back, attaching his lips to your nipples. 
"Good," he says with a devilish smirk. 
You moan in response.
You didn't think you would actually go. Going to support James, the Captain of the Gryffindor team as a Slytherin, was too close to girlfriend activities for your liking. Plus, you'd stopped trying to make Daniel jealous months ago so there was no reason to be there.
Only, James asked you and in the moment, that seems reason enough. 
The game is loud and you feel a little awkward sitting in the Gryffindor section instead of the Slytherin one. James's friends are rambunctious and one practically bumps into you as he cheers loudly. You move closer to the balcony edge, leaning against it as you focus on the game.
Your eyes drift to a familiar figure in the distance. He's holding the quaffle under his arm, his dark hair is even messier than it usually is and he's clearly an experienced flyer. He throws the quaffle into the hoop and scores. Cheers erupt around you and you straighten up, a small smile forming on your lip. James does some, obnoxious, victory flips and your smile can't help but grow. 
Instantly, you feel embarrassed and you control your smile. You shouldn't be smiling so hard at James Potter. Your heart is pounding and unwanted thoughts swirl into your mind. You spend the rest of the game pretending you're not looking at James. 
Once the game ends, you wander around the Gryffindor Common Room at the after party. You'd promised yourself you would congratulate James and then leave immediately. Only you've been in aimlessly wandering around for thirty minutes and you still haven't found him. You're beginning to become annoyed.
Where the fuck is he? 
Finally, you turn a corner and see him. Well, you see his back, but that's unmistakably his jersey. You open your mouth to call his name as you walk forward but your voice dies in your throat. Someone's hands are in his hair. Your heart sinks and you suddenly feel like throwing up. 
James twists his body as the girl comes into view. Your nose scrunches in disgust. Lily Evans? Why is Lily Evans kissing your James? Just as the thought pops into your mind, another wave of nausea washes over you. James isn't yours. If anything, he'd only been passing time with you when he wanted Lily back all along. 
Your breathing is labored as you watch Lily kiss him.
No. This is so wrong. You shouldn't be crying over him.
You back up, turn around and rush out the door before James or Lily could see you. You wipe at your tears, focusing on anger instead of sadness. 
Fuck this. 
* * *
James hasn't seen you in three days and he's becoming worried. You haven't answered any of his Owls, you crumple up any note he writes to you in class, and you avoid him outside of classes.
He doesn't understand what he did wrong. 
He'd waited up for you after his game. He'd had this entire speech planned, some stupid, love-sick confession of his feelings, and yet, you never even showed up. He wants to be angry with you but he can't bring himself to be. He can never stay angry with you even when he tries. 
However, it seems like you're angry with him because when he coincidentally sees you on your way to Honeydukes and he calls your name, you spin around and glare at him. "Leave me alone, Potter," you spit and that wild look he usually loves so much, now scares him a little. Still, he runs up and his hand brushes your arm. 
You turn around again and shove him. With a thud, James falls to the ground. He hadn't expected you to push him and he lost his balance on the mud from the morning rain. "Oi, bloody hell, woman! What is your problem?" 
You're standing over him now and you look furious. 
"You're my problem!"
"Me?" James scrambles up, dusting the dirt from his jeans. He looks at his Converse and they're covered in mud. Great. He looks back up, an expression of hurt obvious on his face. He doesn't have time to worry about his shoes when you're this upset. "I don't understand! What did I do?"
You're breathing heavily, your gaze locked onto his. The truth is too hard to admit. 
"Just, leave me alone," you snarl again, turning back around. James catches your wrist and turns you towards him once more. You're a little surprised but you don't push him or pull away. Instead, the air around you both feels thicker.
"I like you," James blurts out.
Your chest tightens so much it hurts.
"Don't lie to me," you say, your voice hoarse. 
James looks flabbergasted and he moves forward, taking your other hand in his. "What? I'm not lying. I wanted to tell you after my game but you never came—"
"I did come, you tosser!" you snap and James's brown eyes widen. You've never looked more beautiful, even if you do look like you want to kill him. You push your index into his chest. "I came to the game and I saw you play and I even stayed afterward like an idiot because I wanted to see you. And you know what I saw?"
James shakes his head. He's a little petrified.   
"I saw you kissing Lily Evans. Lily Evans of all people! And what's worse is that I shouldn't have been surprised because it was always her. I should have known—"
James blinks and out of all the things he could have said, the only thing that slips from his mouth is, "Y/n. Did you listen to anything I just said?"
That only angers you more because you look like a vein on your forehead could pop at any moment. "What?! James, did you just listen to what I just said?!"
"I never kissed Lily. She kissed me," James says matter-of-factly and then leans in so his face is close to yours. "Now what did I say?"
"That isn't how that works! You both kissed!"
"Nope. I did not. Now, what did I say?!"
"Don't patronize me," you hiss.
"Y/n."
"You said you like me but—"
James places his index on your lips, cracking a small smile. "Exactly. I like you, not Lily. I told her as much after she kissed me. She means nothing to me anymore. My heart belongs to you and only you."
Your lips part under James's finger, your eyes still wide and a little glossy. His words swirl in your chest, warm and so so dangerous. "You're such an idiot," you whisper against him, his confession finally sinking in. You push him away. "I don't believe you. Why should I believe you!?"
"Because it's the truth. You drive me crazy." James moves his hand and cups your cheek. He's staring at you now like you're the only person in the world who matters. You feel like he's stared at you like this before, you just never knew what it meant.  
James moves a little closer, his large hands framing your face. "I have felt like this for months. Months. And I've been meaning to tell you. I like you. I want you. Not just in my bed as a passing fancy, not to make anyone jealous, but just because I want you."
Your heart catches in your throat, and you know you should say something—anything—but instead, all your defenses come crumbling down as you crash your lips into his and kiss him. 
James responds instantly, hands curling around your waist as he lifts you slightly off the ground and hugs you, his lips still on yours.
Once you finally break apart, his forehead finds yours, and he mutters, "So, does this mean we can finally be done pretending we're just casual now?"
You scoff. "Is that what we were doing?"
James smiles, his dimples appearing as he nuzzles his nose into yours. "Mm, it was," he whispers.
You smile gently. "It suppose was, wasn't it?"
He leans in and kisses you again, smiling against your mouth. "I'm yours. If you'll have me. I am completely and wholeheartedly yours."
"Does that mean you promise to stop being such a knob sometimes," you say and shoot him a pretend annoyed look, keeping him close.
James grins. He raises an eyebrow and wiggles it playfully. "No promises," he teases but he leans in and kisses you again, a silent promise. A promise that he loves you, he loves you more than anything.
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astrolook · 6 days ago
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💥 The Parts of the Natal Chart That Only Activate in Crisis💥
Note: These are all my personal observations and patterns I've noticed over the years. Take what resonates with you more and leave the rest. Lemme know in the comments if it hits home! A single placement or aspect isn't enough to conclude and the whole chart has to be analyzed!
8H personal planets (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Mars)
These planets don’t activate or play a significant role when ur life’s going well. They show up when you’re stripped, raw, broken open, or deeply connected.
If it's Sun -> It activates when u r experiencing an ego death, an identity crisis, a near-death experience, or being seen too deeply by someone (aka feeling exposed). Your strength doesn’t show up until after you've been humiliated or broken. You unconsciously test people: “Will they still love me when I’m ugly?” You don’t know who you are until life takes everything you thought you were. Finally, you would become someone with nuclear-level confidence, but only after destruction.
If it's Moon -> Ur emotions naturally live underground. It activates when you experience betrayal, heartbreak, ur parent's death, or su*cidal thoughts. Your calmness is often trauma-induced freeze, not peace. Being too close to someone feels threatening to you. You pull people in just to push them out. You absorb other people’s feelings but bury your own like a corpse. You bond through mutual wounds, not joy. Trauma familiarity > comfort. You don’t cry often, but when you do, it’s a full exorcism. Finally, your intimacy with someone would feel like a rebirth, but after a mental breakdown.
If it's Venus -> It activates after loss of ur innocence, through heartbreak, abuse, betrayal/ cheating and trauma bonding. Often triggered by transformational love or a long period of abstinence. You r terrified of shallow connections, so u knowingly get into toxic dynamics. Sometimes, you test love by destroying it to see if it survives. Once you heal, you become dangerously attractive. People feel you’re real because you’ve died for love and survived.
If it's Mercury/ Mercury Rx -> It activates through revelations, true colors of the people around you, manipulation and secrets exposed. Often explodes when things are unsaid for too long. Silence or when u r putting up with things/people. You speak in metaphors/indirectly as reality feels unsafe. You intellectualize pain so you don’t have to feel it. You're scared of being misunderstood, but even more afraid of being fully known. Your thoughts turn self-destructive when not expressed. Once healed, ur voice becomes powerful but only after you’ve used it to destroy something you put up with for way too long or kept under wraps.
2. Chiron conjunct the IC or Moon
You r parented by absence and pain is ur native language. It activates when u move out, when someone loves you well and u panic, after a breakup, or when you go “home” (physically or emotionally) and regress by 10 years. Actually, you don’t remember being comforted, you just remember being managed. You can be hyper-aware of everyone else’s moods but can’t name your own. Need feels like weakness. But you secretly crave someone who doesn’t need you to be strong. Finally, relationships would stop being distractions and start becoming mirrors. You start learning that healing isn’t fixing, it’s feeling. It's about recognizing that it was never your fault that you were wounded in the first place.
3. 12H planets (Sun, Mercury, Mars)
If it's Mercury/Mercury Rx -> You think in full novels but speak in broken drafts. You can articulate everyone else’s problems except ur own. You lie by omission, not to manipulate others but to stay safe. Silence is easier than risking misunderstanding. You keep secrets from yourself and dissociate mid-convo. When u go thru a mental breakdown, nobody would know. Finally, when activated, you either become a psychic, a poet, a writer, or someone who never speaks again. Your choice.
If it's Mars -> You let people cross boundaries because you can’t find your ‘no’ fast enough. You explode alone. Then say nothing in person. When you finally express anger, you scare yourself. You express rage in slow motion. Finally, when activated, you take up space and will learn to say 'NO'. You won't put up with BS anymore or won't let anyone walk over you.
If it's Sun -> You feel invisible to yourself. Compliments feel fake. Criticism feels like truth. Your sense of self is more fantasy than experience. You learn from others' mistakes. You don't know what you want in life but you KNOW what you don't want. You stand for everyone except yourself. You don’t feel proud of anything unless someone else says it first. You disown yourself. Finally, when activated, you would stop managing ur visibility. You will start saying what you mean. You won't care if you come off messy, loud, or bitchy but it will be real than ever.
4. North Node in the 4th/8th/12th
In the 4th -> Every success would start to feel emptier the more you ignore ur home life/emotions. You over-function in crises and under-function in your own healing. It activates when career feels like a prison, when u want to cry alone in a locked room, when silence is the only thing that feels honest. After healing, you won't give a sh!t about others' opinions about ur life and start living true to yourself and become the "home" you always wanted to have.
In the 8th -> You r not secure, just armored. You keep it “light” in relationships to avoid losing control. The universe will rip things away from you until you stop gripping. You can’t bypass emotional death with logic and self-help books. Healing lives in surrender. The version of you that survives will not be the same. Being witnessed while transforming is the real shadow work.
In the 12th -> Here, stillness makes you panic and silence feels like failure. You r scared of being ordinary. You're addicted to fixing yourself but you've never actually stopped long enough to feel yourself. You’ll try everything but surrender. You believe in healing, but don’t trust the parts of it that can’t be tracked. You’re haunted by the part of you that you’ve never dared to meet. Even if u resist, your transformation will come anyway. You r here to return to "source". You will realize it thru your dreams and visions and it will take u on a path that's beyond ur comprehension.
5. Saturn conjunct Moon
For u, neediness = weakness. So you built a structure around your heart. A moat. A fortress. A goddamn prison. When someone tells you, “It’s okay to feel that way,” and you freeze like they’re speaking a language you forgot. It activates when your coping mechanisms start looking like self-abandonment. You never learned how to feel freely, you learned how to hold it together. You r emotionally mature for sure but you r emotionally underfed too. Once activated, you stop holding the world together and will start holding yourself. You will stop chasing strength and start chasing softness. You give your inner child the safety they never had and that changes everything.
6. A 6H stellium
Seriously, the toughest of all. You didn't choose the grind. The grind chose you. You r the system. The function. The routine. Until one day…you break. It activates when u realize that you planned your entire life around what others need from you or how you can provide them. It activates when a health crisis forces you to stop “pushing through.” When you realize you’re more familiar with structure than softness. People would call you reliable, not soft. Be honest! Don't you have coping routines, backup routines, and burnout recovery routines? You attract problems and solve them to feel useful. Finally, when activated, you will realize that that structure isn’t supposed to punish you, it’s supposed to protect you. You will rewrite your routines around what nourishes you and makes you truly happy. You will no longer feel the need to fix others.
I left some placements as I can't write everything in a single post. Will do a part 2 if u guys want one.
💌For readings, check out my pinned post for pricing! ✨💌🪐
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aangarchy · 1 year ago
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Ok now we're just taking the piss right? Right?
Once again this sort of thinking is removing a fundamental character arc that makes this story what it is. A big part of Aang's journey, especially in season 1, but tbh it does return in later seasons too, is accepting that he is the Avatar, and that he's the only one who can end this war. During the whole first season he is in complete denial about who he is and what he's supposed to do, which is why in most of this season there's no sense of urgency, and then once Aang gets faced with a very real, very close deadline he panics. This makes it even more brutal when in season 3, after accepting this responsibility, he gets faced with the reality of failure. He runs away again, this time not because he doesn't want responsibility, but because he knows how heavy his responsibility is and he doesn't want to burden anyone else with it. Removing the first aspect, aka running away and denying responsibility, it in turn also removes the heavy emotion from his later arc.
It keeps surprising me that people who claim to be such fans of the original seem to completely miss the point of most of this story? Like how could you look at Sokka learning about women's rights, Aang learning to accept responsibility, and Katara's motherly warmth which happened because how young she was when she had to step into a motherly role, and think "well we should remove that." You're taking out all of character development and going purely off of plot (which isn't gonna be nearly as good without the character development!)
Atla is probably one of the most analyzed and picked apart story, has one of the most long running loyal fanbases, people are STILL making thinkpieces about this show, and you manage to still misunderstand so much???
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heartsriki · 5 months ago
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FOR YOUR EYES ONLY ⌇편지
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pairing ᝰ ni-ki x fem!reader — featuring.. jungwon | word count: 2200+
⌇ … warnings & genre ↺ highschool au!, fluff, misunderstandings, sunshine x grumpy.
synopsis — After seeing your tiny crush nishimura riki sneak something into the confession box you just had to investigate.
lee's ₊˚⊹ ᰔ comment ┊guys I swear ill make a non highschool au with riki soon... I couldn't help myself.. anyways its FEB!! can't wait to write valentines themed fics!
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Finally.
It was your favorite month of the whole year.
You worked as a library assistant at your school—not because you particularly loved the job, but because it was better than joining a club.
Well… that’s what you told people.
In reality, you had a secret gig.
Tucked away in the most secluded part of the library was your confession box—a simple, unassuming container where students could slip in anonymous notes pouring out their feelings.
It started as something just for you. A place to vent when things got overwhelming. But then, he found out.
Jungwon.
You had no choice but to let him in on your little secret, and somehow, he became your best friend. Over time, word spread, and people started using the box themselves. What once held only your thoughts turned into a place where students whispered their love stories into folded pieces of paper.
Only Jungwon knew you were the one behind it.
And now, February had arrived—the holy grail of confessions. Sure, people submitted notes year-round, but around Valentine’s Day? The numbers spiked.
You weren’t going to lie. You loved it. Not just the thrill of reading them (and occasionally sharing the best ones with Jungwon, who never breathed a word), but the idea that you were helping people express what they were too afraid to say out loud.
So here you were, stationed at the front desk, pretending to browse book requests on the computer when a group of girls giggled their way to the back of the library.
Your eyes flickered toward them, amused. Definitely not because you were excited to read their confessions later. Nope. Definitely not.
Then, moments later—he walked in.
Riki.
The second you saw him, your instincts flared up. Suspicious.
Riki never stepped foot in the library. He barely did his assignments, let alone read for fun. So why was he here?
You watched, careful not to make it obvious. He glanced around, acting almost… nervous? And then, without a word, he disappeared into the back.
Seconds later, he reappeared from the other side—hands in his pockets, expression unreadable, walking out as if nothing had happened.
Your breath hitched.
No way.
Did Nishimura Riki just put a confession in your box?
Your hand scrambled for your phone. You had to tell someone.
You:
JUNGWONJUNGWONOMG
PLSPLSANSWERLOOKATURPHONE
Wonnie:
Ok what the hell
What is it?
You:
You are NEVER going to believe who just slid into the back of the library.
Wonnie:
Is it Jake again? Poor guy
Maybe Jay? Idk tell me
You:
Nishimura… Riki…
Wonnie:
… Fr?
Maybe he confessed to you?
You:
Right, totally.
Wonnie:
Think about it.
And you did think about it.
You and Riki had a… relationship. Not exactly a friendship, but not total strangers either.
You first met in detention.
It was your first time there, and you had no idea what you were supposed to do. So, naturally, you turned to the guy next to you—the one with his headphones on, slouched in his seat like he owned the place.
Curious, you tapped his shoulder.
He flinched, looking caught before turning to glare at you. “What?”
You blinked. “How did you sneak those in? Can I listen too?”
Before he could answer, you asked another question. “Wait, also—what are we supposed to do in here?”
His face twisted in disbelief. “What do we do in detention? You sit here. Now be quiet before—”
“Mr. Nishimura, sneaking electronics in again?” The teacher’s voice cut in, hand outstretched.
Riki groaned, slumping back in his seat before begrudgingly handing over his phone and headphones.
When the teacher walked away, he snapped his head back to you, eyes burning with betrayal.
You swore he glared at you for the rest of the day.
Ever since then, you tried to make it up to him—with snacks, lunch, even passing him worksheets to copy. Eventually, after weeks of bugging him, he forgave you.
Kind of.
Even now, he still acted so indifferent.
Whenever you waved at him in the hallway, he looked away. When you invited him to sit with you and your friends, he ignored you. Even when you walked beside him, talking about anything and everything—he barely responded.
At first, you assumed he was just bad with people. But then you saw him with his friends—laughing, joking, talking.
So why was he only like this with you?
Eventually, you gave up.
You distanced yourself, refusing to waste energy on someone who clearly wanted nothing to do with you.
But then, every now and then, you’d catch him staring—or see him approach you, only to hesitate and walk away.
It was confusing. Frustrating. You told yourself you didn’t care anymore.
Until the school trip.
It had been late at night when you were sent to fetch supplies from the shed—a small, isolated building at the edge of the woods.
You weren’t scared, but walking alone with only a flashlight wasn’t exactly comforting.
By the time you found everything, thunder rumbled outside. Moments later, the skies opened up.
Heavy rain. Lightning. The kind of downpour that turned dirt trails into slippery nightmares.
Running back wasn’t an option.
So, hugging your knees to your chest, you sat in the shed—silent, alone, trying not to cry.
Minutes passed. Then—
The door burst open.
You jumped, heart nearly stopping—until your eyes locked with his.
Riki.
He stood there, soaked from head to toe, breathless, his curls sticking to his forehead.
Did he… run here?
He didn’t speak. Just stared for a moment, like he was checking if you were okay, before stepping inside and sitting next to you.
“Jesus,” he muttered. “You’re helpless, you know that?”
You blinked, then let out a soft, teary laugh. He was trying to act tough. But he was clearly worried.
Neither of you spoke after that. You just sat there, listening to the storm. Well, you spoke—rambling like you used to, and for once, he didn’t seem to mind.
By the time the rain cleared, something between you had shifted.
And now, months later, here you were—staring at an empty confession box, knowing Riki put something inside, yet not finding his name anywhere.
Jungwon’s voice pulled you back.
“I knew I’d find you here.” He smirked. “Anything good?”
You forced a laugh, trying to mask your disappointment. “Yeah, some interesting ones. Oh—Minji completely dropped her last crush and moved on to a new one. Isn’t that crazy?”
Jungwon squinted at you. “You’re looking for Riki’s, aren’t you?”
You groaned, immediately dropping your head onto the table. “I’m pitiful. Don’t look at me.”
Jungwon laughed, dragging a chair out and sitting across from you. “You’re not pitiful. Just mildly down bad.”
You groaned, keeping your forehead against the table. “But I know he put something in there. I saw him! I was so ready to read it, but it’s like—poof!—nothing!”
Jungwon tapped his fingers on the table, thinking. “You sure he actually put something in the box?”
You lifted your head slightly. “Of course, I literally watched him sneak in.”
“Then…” Jungwon grinned knowingly. “What if he took something out?”
That made you pause. You sat up straight, eyes wide. “Wait… What?”
“Think about it,” Jungwon continued. “If he put in a confession and realized he wasn’t ready, maybe he took it back.”
Your mind raced. That… actually made sense. But why would Riki take it back? And more importantly—who was he confessing to?
The thought made your stomach twist, and you weren’t sure why.
Jungwon smirked, clearly enjoying the sight of you struggling. “You could just ask him, you know.”
You scoffed. “Yeah, right. ‘Hey, Riki! Weird question, but did you happen to steal a confession from my box?’”
“Why not?” Jungwon shrugged. “Or are you scared of the answer?”
You opened your mouth, ready to deny it, but the words never came. Were you scared? The idea of Riki confessing to someone else made your chest feel tight in a way you weren’t ready to unpack.
Before you could respond, the student council room door creaked open again.
And there he was.
Riki stood in the doorway, hands shoved into his pockets, his hair a little bit above his eyes which flickered between you and Jungwon before settling on you.
Jungwon raised an eyebrow, glancing between the two of you. “Welp. That’s my cue to leave.” He patted your shoulder before slipping past Riki, whispering a quick, “Good luck,” on his way out.
The door clicked shut. Silence.
You swallowed. “Um… Did you need a book or—”
“I didn’t take it back.”
Your breath hitched.
Riki sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “The letter. I didn’t take it back.”
Your heart was pounding now. You tried to keep your voice steady. “What do you mean?”
His gaze dropped to the floor. “I put it in there without a doubt, I think… someone else removed it. Maybe it was a sign not to confess to you.”
You.
Your throat went dry. “It was… for me?”
Riki let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah. Obviously.”
You blinked. “Obviously? What do you mean obviously? You ignore me ninety percent of the time!”
He huffed, looking almost embarrassed. “I don’t ignore you.”
“You literally pretend not to hear me half the time!”
“Because I don’t know what to say!” Riki finally looked at you, frustration and something else—something softer—lingering in his expression. “You drive me crazy, you know that? You talk too much, you’re way too nosy, and you never leave things alone. And somehow, I—” He stopped, exhaling sharply. “I like you, okay?”
Your brain short-circuited.
Riki rolled his eyes at your stunned silence. “This is embarrassing.”
You snapped out of your trance. “Wait, wait. Back up. You like me?”
He groaned, turning toward the door. “Forget I said anything—”
You grabbed his sleeve before he could leave.
He froze.
Slowly, you grinned. “You like me.”
Riki’s ears were turning red. “Shut up.”
You laughed, warmth bubbling in your chest. You never thought you’d get anywhere with him, and yet—here he was, out of breath looking at you so fondly, confessing in the most Riki-like way possible.
February was definitely your favorite month of them all.
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BONUS 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
The moment Riki stepped into the library, he knew he was making a mistake.
This wasn’t his scene. He didn’t do books, didn’t do anything that required more effort than necessary. But here he was, standing in the one place he actively avoided, shoving his hands deeper into his hoodie pockets as his eyes flickered toward the back.
He could feel your gaze on him.
You were always watching him.
Not in a weird way—more like you were constantly trying to figure him out. Always with that curious glint in your eyes, like he was a puzzle you were determined to solve.
He hated it.
No, that wasn’t true. He hated that he liked it.
And now, as he made his way toward the confession box—the stupidest thing he’d ever been a part of—he was hoping you weren’t paying too much attention.
With one last glance around, he slipped to the back, pulled a folded piece of paper from his pocket, and dropped it inside.
Then, without missing a beat, he walked out through the other side, playing it cool.
It took everything in him not to look back.
He could already picture the way your brain was short-circuiting, the way you were probably grabbing your phone to text Jungwon. You always told him everything, after all.
Riki swore under his breath as he left the library.
He wasn’t even sure why he did it.
Well.
That was a lie.
He knew why.
It was because of you.
Because you confused the hell out of him.
You were supposed to be annoying—loud, persistent, way too nosy for your own good. You were supposed to be someone he could easily brush off, like he did with everyone else.
But you weren’t.
Because no matter how many times he ignored your waves in the hallway, you still smiled at him. No matter how often he shut you out, you never stopped trying.
And then you stopped.
You finally gave up on him.
And for some reason, that made his chest feel too tight.
Ever since that night on the school trip, when he found you curled up alone in the shed, it had been harder and harder to act like he didn’t care.
That night, when he heard you were missing—it was like he could imagine you with red eyes, shoulders shaking—he couldn’t stop himself.
Didn’t even think.
He just ran.
Ran straight into the storm, through the rain, barely able to see a damn thing—but knowing exactly where he was going.
When he finally got there, when he saw you small and fragile under the dim light, something in him cracked.
He never wanted to see you like that again.
But he didn’t know how to tell you that.
He wasn’t good with words. He wasn’t good with feelings.
So he wrote it down instead.
It wasn’t a confession, not in the way you expected.
But it was something.
Something for your eyes only.
Something he thought you would have found by now.
So when he walked passed the student council room later that evening, seeing you and Jungwon hunched over the pile of notes, he knew immediately.
You hadn’t seen it.
Because if you had, you wouldn’t be looking for his name like he overheard.
And now, as both your heads snapped toward him, your eyes wide and startled—
Riki sighed, stepping forward.
…You took it, didn’t you? He thought looking straight at Jungwon.
Because if you didn’t find his letter in the box…
Then someone must have.
What was Jungwon playing at?
What happens next? Click (optional)
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youngheejay · 6 months ago
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Winter mornings and weird misunderstandings
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You just wanted Sunghoon to buy you some pads, but he’s a little silly bf
Starring: Sunghoon x fem!reader [fairly new established relationship]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A sharp pain in your lower abdomen disturbed your peaceful sleep.
You glanced at the clock confused. It was 6:56 am, why did you wake up so early? Frustrated, you buried your face in your fluffy pillow. You had hoped that you could’ve slept in on your well deserved rest day. The comfort of your blanket and pillow made you want to bury yourself in your bed but God had a different plan.
On cue, another pain shot through your lower stomach.
This is going to kill me.
You really didn’t want to leave your warm and cozy blanket, knowing well enough that as soon as you escaped your cocoon you’d be met with the cold reality of a winter morning.
After convincing yourself that you’ll be able to sleep more comfortably after going to the bathroom, you started to unravel yourself from the thick blanket. Only then you realised that something was holding you down. A heavy and familiar, yet unusual and odd weight rested on your waist.
Afraid and slightly in panic, you slowly but steadily turned your head to the side. The sight in front of you melted your heart instantly and you had to suppress a chuckle from escaping.
Gosh, I’m so stupid. How could I forget?
You wished you could’ve taken a picture so that this scene would last you an eternity. But you knew if you moved away to grab your phone he’d wake up and ruin the moment. So instead of reaching out for your phone, you carefully made yourself more comfortable and looked at your boyfriend with fond eyes.
There he laid with the sweetest pout on his lips, his cheek squished against the pillow and his eyebrows softly furrowed in a cute manner.
You had to suppress the urge to squeeze his squishy and roundish cheeks. Your heart was full of love and adoration for the man laying beside you.
Pursing your lips, you dared to lightly brush away the strand of hair that fell directly on his closed eye. You couldn’t resist it so you also caressed his face faintly with the tips of your fingers, hoping this wouldn’t wake him up.
Luckily, the only response you got was a soft grunt.
Due to his very high demanding profession as an idol you often times were restrained from some quality boyfriend-girlfriend time.
So moments like these were a true treasure. Especially seeing him so soft and peaceful on a sunday morning. Normally, sunday mornings were spent at some kind of filming or broadcast studio for sunghoon.
When your boyfriend told you yesterday that he’ll be sleeping over at your apartment, you couldn’t help but let out a high pitched squeal.
“I’ll be yours the whole day tomorrow since I don’t have any schedules.” He had whispered against your lips with a faint smirk. You couldn’t believe how lucky you were.
You let out a soft sigh, you felt so happy and content. In response, his muscular, but heavy arm tightened around you ever so slightly. This was a reminder to you to not make any noises.
Your boyfriend was a super light sleeper when he slept next to you. Even though it was a very rare occurrence that you spent the night together he somehow managed to instantly develop this sleeping habit.
It was a really weird thing that you made notice of. Because, whenever you found him asleep in his own bed at his dorm it was an impossible task to wake him up. He just wouldn’t butch.
His dear members also testified that he was a heavy sleeper and that they had a hard time waking him up.
But only after four months into your relationship you realised how severe the difference was.
The difference being: him sleeping alone vs. with you.
Whenever he fell asleep with you by his side he woke up at the slightest signs of you waking up or your discomfort. It seemed like he had a sixth’s sense when it came to you and his protectiveness over you awoke him even from the deepest slumber.
Fortunately, it got a little better the more you slept together. Now, you could turn around freely and even slightly caress him, without him waking up. As long as you were in his arms everything seemed fine to his subconscious instincts. But as soon as you slipped out of his arms he immediately woke up and yearned for your warm presence.
As cute as this observation was, it also worried you that maybe he wasn’t resting properly whenever you slept next to him. It was an obvious fact that your boyfriend was really overprotective and was concerned for you 24/7. Thus, you had to train him little by little so he could at least be relaxed while he’s asleep.
However, you did have a quite good achievement the last time he spent the night with you. You had managed to escape his hold and got yourself a glass of water. It made you very proud - maybe more at your ninja skills than of him.
Right now you had a difficult mission ahead:
Go to the bathroom and prepare yourself for your period. And if you were lucky you could even make yourself a warm bottle without him noticing anything. This would be true perfection. A new milestone in your relationship of 6 months.
And you believed that this was possible - luck shall be on your side. After all, sunghoon was exhausted from the recently finished promotions of his groups comeback. Hence, there’s a high possibility that he wouldn’t wake up like last time.
You took a deep breath. Focus, y/n. You’ve got this.
Little by little you took small steps to escape his embrace. With every movement of yours you looked at his expression with upmost concentration. Every micro movement of his was crucial for this mission.
And when you actually managed to slip out of his arms you couldn’t feel more excited. Wow, this is a really big step in your relationship. That’s the second time he didn’t stirred awake from you leaving the bed. Will this be the new norm from now onwards?
You only stood up from the bed when you were certain that he was still sleeping.
When you checked that the coast was clear you tiptoed out of your bedroom and softly opened the bathroom door.
Slowly and quietly, you closed the door and tried to be quick with your business.
Great, ugh, I already got my period. You hoped that you didn’t stain the bedsheets.
Whatever, you quickly wanted to clean yourself up and cuddle with your boyfriend. That’s why boyfriends exist, right?
When you opened the cabinet in your bathroom your heart dropped.
No, no, no, no.
This couldn’t be happening.
You were out of pads.
You scoffed to yourself ironically. Great.
What do I do??
You couldn’t just quickly go out to buy some. The next store was only a 15 minute walk but it was freezing and snowing so much outside.
You could take sunghoon’s car, since you didn’t own one yourself. But you cringed internally, thinking about going out while blood is running down your legs. And you’d probably stain the seat of his car. Not to mention that you had to clean up all of the fresh snow first.
You felt like crying. Why does stuff like this always happen to you? Ugh.
The pain became unbearable and your legs felt too weak. Even if you weren’t bleeding too much right now, you just weren’t feeling well. You needed to lay down.
The realisation of your current bloody situation kicked in.
You had to do something quickly.
Should I ask sunghoon?
But you just felt so shy. Sunghoon was your first boyfriend and your relationship was fairly new. It didn’t help that you didn’t get to spend so much time together yet, which is why your shyness towards him was still highly present.
What if he is disgusted by me? Or maybe he’ll get angry because he doesn’t want to buy these stuff? Or maybe he’ll even get mad because I woke him up because of this?
You had heard about stories like these. You already felt too vulnerable right now, you certainly wouldn’t be able to handle rejection.
But then you thought that this was sunghoon that you were thinking about.
Not some random dude you found on the streets. He always took good care of you. And he was definitely not some douchebag who wouldn’t help his girlfriend when she needed him the most.
Since the beginning of your relationship he had been nothing but a sweetheart towards. It wouldn’t be fair towards him to just assume that he wouldn’t want to help you if you have an emergency.
Nonetheless, you were a nervous wreck when you quietly made your way to your bedroom. With a thumping heart you went to his side.
“Hoonie?” You whispered so quietly that you’d be surprise if he woke up from that.
When he didn’t react, you caressed his arm a little and whispered his nickname again, this time a tiny bit louder: “hoonie, wake up, please.”
His eyes shot open widely and he reacted instantly as he abruptly sat up. His sudden movement startled you a little.
He recognised your stressed face and immediately furrowed his eyebrows in concern. His protective nature was shown instantly.
“What’s wrong, princess?” He rasped with his deep morning voice.
In response you gave him a nervous smile and played with the hem of your shirt.
Sunghoon immediately understood that something is wrong and pulled you by your arm towards him. You landed in his lap ungraciously and immediately squirmed around. You wanted to stand up because you weren’t wearing any pads but he tightened his hold around you with his strong arms.
“Baby, are you okey? Are you hurt?” He caressed one of his hand all over your body - as if to check for any injuries.
When he didn’t see anything his eyes quickly darted to the clock.
“No, everything is alright, hoonie,” you mumbled quietly, hoping he wasn’t mad at you. At the same time a sharp pain shot through your lower stomach, causing you to lay your hand on the area as you tried to act nonchalantly.
Of course, sunghoon noticed it immediately and put his hand over yours.
“I’m sorry I woke you up…” you searched for a way to tell him what you wanted from him.
Subconsciously, you took his warm hand in yours and pressed it against the area from where the discomfort blossomed.
Sunghoon squinted his eyes ever so slightly in confusion and rubbed the area under your bellybutton with the softest motions.
“It’s ok, honey,” simultaneously, he rubbed your back with his other hand. As you enjoyed the warmth his action was providing, you grabbed his arm from behind and dragged it down to your lower back, where you needed it the most.
You sighed softly, enjoying the comfort your boyfriend was providing and without noticing it, you leaned into his chest. Sunghoon also automatically leaned back on the headboard - albeit his state of mind was everything but relaxed.
You rested there in his lap - feeling so safe and comfortable and also completely oblivious to the chaos you caused in your boyfriend’s head.
Sunghoon was really confused on why you woke him up so early in the morning. Heck, he couldn’t understand why you would be awake this early on a Sunday morning. And the way you looked at him - something was definitely wrong.
He started to rack his brain with every single possibility of a problem you could be having right now. He wasn’t able to think that far as his brain was still fogged with sleep.
But then it suddenly clicked.
Fuck.
His heart dropped into his stomach.
She’s pregnant.
Sunghoons eyes darted towards his hand on your belly. Why else would she put my hand there?
His eyes widened in shock but he quickly tried to cover up his reaction and buried his face in the crook of your neck.
Sunghoon felt his neck and ears heat up in embarrassment and frustration. Fuck, how could this happen?
What am I gonna do?
Fuck it. You’re the man in this relationship, Park Sunghoon. Get your shit together.
“Baby, look at me,” he demanded after he mentally gave himself a pep-talk and pulled himself together.
“I think I know what’s going on,” he continued and cupped your face with his hands.
“Really?” Your eyebrows shot up in surprise.
“Yes, and I want you to know that it’s ok. Everything will be just fine, alright?”
You pouted in awe, “so you’re not mad at me?”
“Of course not, princess. Why would I be mad, baby?”
“I don’t know…” you mumbled, “because I woke you up so early in this morning?”
“Are for you real? I’m really glad that you woke me up. You know, we’re a team, y/n. We’re in this together,” he tried his best to soothe you.
“You’re so cute. Thank you, darling,” you pecked his lips, feeling grateful to have such a sweet boyfriend.
Just as you were about to pull away he closed the gap between your lips again and kissed you passionately.
You were stunned, not expecting him to kiss you with so much energy but of course you wanted to return the favour.
Sunghoon only pulled away slightly so his lips still lingered close enough to yours.
“Don’t thank me, baby, this my duty. I’ll always take care of you. Your comfort and needs are my top priority. Especially in this kind of situation.” Your heart melted hearing these heart touching words from sunghoon.
When he noticed that your eyes teared up a little, he instantly put his large and warm hand on your cheek and stroke it with his thumb.
“Don’t cry. You’re my strong girl, aren’t you?” You nodded in agreement with a determined look on your face. He’s right, I am strong.
No period pain in this world will take me down this easily. You felt a boost of confidence.
“To be honest, hoonie, at first I was really scared to share this with you. It’s just that this is such a sensitive topic to me as - you know - I always heard all of these stories were the boyfriend gets mad at the girl. And since you’re my first boyfriend - I don’t know - I was never in a situation like this before with a man. I just felt really insecure for a moment. But I’m so grateful I have you to share this with - it can be a really exhausting issue.”
Sunghoon cooed at hearing your deepest feelings - just not about the thing he was thinking of.
“It’s natural to be scared at first. But I’m glad you didn’t let your initial feelings get between us,” he then chuckled lightly, feeling his heart a little lighter than before, “can I be straightforward with you?” You nodded your head immediately, your big round eyes encouraging him to speak.
“When I realised it, not gonna lie, I was pretty shocked. Like I never thought about this before. And I know that our relationship is fairly new, but it’s okay, as long as we have each other, everything is going to be okey. Don’t worry your pretty little head. We’ll go through this together. There’s no need to hide things from each other, alright?”
You felt deeply touched by his words again, with a pout on your face you wrapped your arms around your boyfriends neck. “I’m so lucky that I have you,” you confessed sincerely as you nuzzled your face in his neck.
“I’m the lucky one, babe. I’ll always be there for you. And of course it’s my responsibility to take care of you.“ He took a deep breath as the severity of the situation settled in. He would be lying if he said that he wasn’t scared and shitting his pants right now - heck, he felt his pulse pounding up in his ears.
He closed his eyes for a moment to gather his thoughts. Fuck. This is too crazy.
But then he reminded himself that he had you in his arms and that he couldn’t let his fears and worries transfer to you. You were too vulnerable right now in this state.
He took one big breath before he started to speak again: “As long as you have me, you don’t have to worry about anything in this world, alright, princess? That’s what you are to me - my own beautiful princess.” He kissed your forehead as if his words weren’t enough to make you emotional.
The only thing you were able to say was a soft, “I love you.” You didn’t even notice that you started to cry - you just couldn’t believe that you doubted your boyfriends kindness for even more than a second. Sunghoon tightened his embrace around you.
“I love you too. More than you can imagine…” he whispered the last past as if it wasn’t meant for you to hear.
“And of course,” he added, and before he continued he put his hand back to the place he was caressing before.
He hesitated for a moment, letting his brain process the new information.
Then he continued with a stable and confident voice: “Of course I love this little one also.”
You titled your head to side.
What?
“What?” You repeated out loud and leaned back.
When Sunghoon looked at you you realised that there was a shimmer of tears reflecting in his eyes. You have never seen him cry before - what the actual fuck.
After he didn’t respond to you, you hesitantly asked:
“You love… my… uterus?”
For a second sunghoons brain stopped working. He was stunned at your boldness - flabbergasted even.
“Baby, what are you saying?” His bewildered glance made you really shy and even embarrassed as if you were the one who said something weird.
“I-“ you wanted to say something but you were too taken aback to form a sentence.
You slightly hit his chest, “hoonie!!” you whined, “what are you talking about?”
“I’m- babe, wait- I’m so confused right now.” He squinted his eyes at you - his expression screamed for help.
“I’m obviously talking about our baby!!” He exclaimed in desperation.
“What?!” You matched his tone, “what baby??”
“Mine! I mean yours! No- I mean ours! The one I put inside your belly!” Sunghoon stuttered - he was utterly bewildered and felt his ears heat up in embarrassment to say it out loud like this.
“Are you saying I’m pregnant?!” You whined loudly in disbelief, not trusting your ears.
All of the sudden sunghoon got quiet real quick.
“…no.”
“Yes you are!!” You gasped dramatically and clasped your hand at your mouth. “Oh my god! I can’t believe you!! You really thought I’m pregnant?!”
“Park Sunghoon!” You hit his chest, “why would you think I’m pregnant???”
“Wait- I can explain, Baby-“
Hit
“Baby!!”
Hit
“Ahh!!”
Hit
“Don’t hit me, ba-!!”
Hit
Just as you were about to hit him again he quickly caught your wrist. “Princess- please let me explain!”
“It better be a good explanation, sunghoon! I can’t believe you thought I was pregnant! Do you even know what would happen if this was real?! We both would be dead! You’d get killed by your fans and I’d get killed by mom!!”
“I know-“
You cut him off again: “Why would you think this??? Are you saying I look pregnant?? Oh my god, don’t you dare answer this, Park Sunghoon!”
“No, bunny! It’s nothing like this I swear!”
You gave him a suspicious look.
“You woke me up at 7 in the morning, didn’t tell me what’s going on and you only put my hand on your belly! I assumed this because there isn’t any other plausible explanation, please!”
You huffed and puffed up your cheeks as you crossed your arms in front of your chest and turned away from you boyfriend.
Sunghoon laughed slightly as his eyebrows shot up in disbelief: “Don’t be mad now.”
“I’m not mad,” you sulked like a child.
“Will you please tell me then what’s going on? Otherwise I’ll be the one who’s ‘not mad’.”
You rolled your eyes and mumbled: “I got my periodandIneedyoutobuysomepadsbecauseI’mout”
“Y/n.” He demanded, raising one eyebrow.
You turned around to look at him. Your cheeks were red and sunghoon felt a rush of cuteness aggression - if you were in another situation he would have definitely bit them.
“I got my period!” You said in an annoyed tone.
“Oh okey,” he nodded and breathed out of relief. Thank God.
“Yes! The complete opposite from what you assumed!“
“Why did you - and I really don’t want to sound like a jerk - but why did you wake me up? To tell me this?”
You rolled your eyes harder than before: “well, you do sound like a jerk. I’m in pain, alright?”
“Okey… do you want… I don’t know… cuddles?” Your boyfriend offered carefully as he still couldn’t figure out what you wanted from him.
“Of course, sunghoon! That’s what you always do! You know this already. You unlocked level 2 of ‘boyfriend’ like 4 months ago! But before we’ll cuddle you’ll go to the store and buy me pads and snacks!”
“Oh okey…” he nodded again slightly.
After a few moments passed he looked at you with wide and horrified eyes.
“What?!” He bursted out fearfully.
——
After calming him down and explaining to him your situation and what he needed to do, he was ready. Ready to be a man and buy his woman the pink packaged pads with wings.
Only for you to realise that you had a tiny problem.
“Don’t.” You muttered as you quickly pressed yourself into sunghoon, clinging onto his neck like a monkey and restraining him from standing up.
“What’s wrong?” He wrapped his large hands around your waist.
“We have another problem.” Your cheeks heated up. Sunghoon raised his eyebrow in question. “Please don’t be mad. I know it’s disgusting but I think I stained your trousers,” you blabbered embarrassed.
“Stained? How?” He was deeply confused - for the 50th time today and the sun hadn’t even risen yet.
“Babe…” you knew he was just a man when you purchased him but you didn’t know how bad his knowledge about menstruation was, “women bleed, like a lot. And I know when I stand up, you’ll be shocked to see how badly I bleed. Since I couldn’t wear my pads it just soaked through my clothes and stained yours. You know, since I’ve been sitting on your lap for quite a while now. I don’t even have to check, I already know it. I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s okey, ha ha.” He tried to act nonchalantly but his face gave it away - he was mortified.
“Babe, it’s okey, you don’t have to act tough. I know it’s disgusting. I’m also disgusted every time it happens.” You put your small hand on his cheek and that’s when sunghoon snapped out of his fear and pulled himself together.
Suddenly he hooked his one arm under your legs and the other went behind your back. He stood up abruptly from the bed causing you to screech in surprise as your hold onto him got tighter.
He then carried you bridal style towards the bathroom.
“What are you doing, hoonie?” You asked startled.
“I understand where you’re coming from. Blood is kinda… disgusting. But you go through this every month. I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide this part of you because I’d be disgusted.” He kicked the bathroom door open, “I want to show you that I love every side of you. Whether you’re sick, tired, mad - or bleeding like Mother Nature wants you to.”
He sat on the edge of bathtub with you sitting again on his lap, “I want to be there for you, no matter what you’re going through.”
Then he turned the faucet on and checked the water temperature with the hand that was holding your legs before he turned back to you. The same hand was now resting against your cheek as he made you look at him.
“I don’t want to be that kind of boyfriend where the girlfriend is in pain or is having some kind of crisis and she feels like she can’t tell him about it because he’d be mad or disgusted. That would be the worst thing actually.” The look he gave you expressed so much sincerity. The intensity of it radiated his love for you immensely.
You didn’t know what to answer him.
“What did I do to deserve such a sweet and loving boyfriend?” You pouted with teary eyes - your heart was aching with pure love and devotion for your boyfriend.
“I know what you did,” he smirked lightly as he leaned into your lips. You were too hypnotised to answer him, so when he pressed his soft lips against yours he whispered against them: “you were being an angel waiting patiently for your man.”
——
Following your session of soft kisses and giggles, sunghoon took off your clothes and helped you into the warm tub full of bubbles.
He then quickly took a shower while you were enjoying his singing from the tub.
“I’ll be back real quick, babe.” He kissed your forehead fully clothed again, ready to meet the cold outside.
“Alrighty, I love you so much and drive carefully! It’s icy on the roads!”
“I will, honey, don’t worry. I love you more.”
—————
You were cuddling with your boyfriend on your coach and were enjoying his warmth and some hot chocolate, when all of the sudden he spoke up:
“So, I’m at level 2 of ‘boyfriend’?”
You chuckled: “No, silly, you reached level 2 when we were together for 2 months. When you cuddled me for the first time while I was crying.”
“Then, what about now?”
“Today you jumped from 5 to 10.”
“Really?” Sunghoon was surprised, and of course proud of himself.
You hummed in response.
“And at what level do I get the privilege to ask you to marry me?”
You looked at your steaming cup, hesitating a little.
After a few moments of silence, you whispered:
“10.”
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Pls reblog and comment; appreciate likes but tumblr doesn’t
Feedback is also very appreciated
© youngheejay 2025 | do not repost or plagiarize.
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elix8r · 9 months ago
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Prada Shoes and I Love Yous
PAIRING: heeseung x fem!reader 
GENRE: smut, angst, crack, (some?) fluff, college!au, exes to lovers!au, enemies to lovers!au, socialite/richkid!au
SUMMARY: Life as a socialite wasn’t all champagnes and designer labels, especially not with the turn your reputation took due to a simple misunderstanding. Now, you were being painted by everyone as a big fat cheater who shattered her sweet boyfriend’s heart—a narrative that couldn’t be further from the truth. In reality, it was him who had betrayed your trust. Frustrated and feeling deeply wronged, you returned to society and the new school year after a summer of cutting off contact with everyone and the drama. But just when you thought you were ready to face the world again, you were blindsided by something unexpected: the lingering effect Heeseung had on you. And who could blame you? Heeseung was way too hot for you to get over in just three short months and now, seeing him with the girl he once told you not to worry about all over him? Oh, it was on. 
You refused to be replaced, labeled as a crazy ex, or forgotten. No, you were going to make Lee Heeseung realize that you were the best motherfucking thing to had ever happened to him. 
WC: 21.4k
WARNINGS: some extent of emotionally cheating? (not actual cheating i swear it’s kinda unintentional), jake is a bestie and fwb hybrid (kinda flirty but it’s very much platonic i swear), so much miscommunication, profanity, drinking, drugs, physical altercation, mentions of puke, slut shaming, mentions of pregnancy (no one is actually pregnant), toxic relationship, roughdom!heeseung and sub!y/n, unprotected sex, oral (m recieving), rough sex, unprepped? sex (consensual), creampie, mirror sex, deepthroating, cowgirl, dick too big?, creampie, and i am so sorry but karina is a BITCH like it’s almost campy how villainess she comes off
AUTHOR'S NOTE: hope everyone has fun with this one!! had a lot of fun writing it like and i'd love to hear you guys' feedback! love you lots <3 ☺️
Fuck Lee Heeseung. Fuck Lee Heeseung. Fuck Lee Heeseung.
This was all you found yourself repeating in your mind like it was some mantra while you reapplied your lip gloss, making sure to take one last good look at yourself in the mirror before shutting it close once you felt the plane’s wheels coming to a stop. From the outside, you looked absolutely perfect as not a single hair could be found out of place; no one would’ve guessed that you had been on a plane for over 10 hours. But inside, you were a wreck as you felt your anxiety shooting up as your heart raced a million beats per minute.
“You need to loosen up, you look like you have a stick up your ass.” Jake was lazily scrolling on his phone while nursing a champagne in his hand, barely sparing a glance at you. He seemed to be in a much more relaxed state than you were.
You scoffed before sending him a glare. “You know, if anything, you should be the one panicking right now. Everyone’s going to be talking about how we came back together.”
“Good thing I don’t give a shit about what people say, right? Should’ve thought that through before inviting me,” Jake shrugged, finally lowering his phone to look at you. His nonchalant attitude was pissing you off. “Plus, this all just looks worse because Ryujin decided she wanted to spend one last week with whatever his name was.”
He wasn’t wrong. It hadn’t just been the two of you in Monaco for three months; Ryujin had also been very much present. However, she found herself a summer fling named Louis, and unlike you and Jake, she couldn’t find herself boarding your private jet without spending one last fiery week with her lover before saying goodbye for good and starting school again.
“Maybe we should have just stayed an extra week with her. It probably would have saved us from the shit show that I know we’re gonna be bombarded with the second we step off the plane.” You released a deep sigh before you started to gather your belongings around you.
Jake followed suit, grabbing his stuff and getting up from his seat. “Well, if we stayed back an extra week, then that would mean we’d have to deal with your mom’s wrath for missing her annual end-of-summer garden party that we promised we wouldn’t miss. You know how important it is for her, and to be honest, I’d rather face Heeseung’s wrath than your mom’s.”
He was right. This garden party of hers had been going on every year since even before you were born, and you’d be out of your mind to miss it. It was single-handedly the most important event every year for your family, and you couldn’t even begin to fathom how your mom would react to your absence.
You reached over and snatched the champagne glass out of his hand before you downed whatever was left in it in one gulp as you braced yourself, hoping the alcohol would give you the courage you needed to step off the plane. 
“Well, then I hope you’re prepared to take on Heeseung. Maybe he’ll be nice enough to spare your pretty face. God knows it’s the only thing you have going for you.”
Heeseung was going to fucking kill Jake Sim. 
When he woke up this morning, you were the last thing on his mind, something he seemed to have finally freed himself from. However, all the hard work he put into casting you away from his mind seemed to have been in vain, as now all he could think about was you and how you had returned after three months of radio silence with the guy you cheated on him with.
Livid didn’t even cover what he was feeling, and it was evident in the way he swung his club. Each hit seemed to be driven by a surge of pent-up frustration.
“What the hell, man? That’s the third time today you’ve been way off course. What’s going on?” Jay shot him an incredulous look as he tried to locate where the golf ball had landed.
Heeseung let out a frustrated groan as he ripped off his glove and shoved his driver back into his bag. “Y/N’s fucking back.”
That was all Jay needed to hear to understand what was going on with his friend. "Shit, I saw. I’m sorry dude, it’s fucked up."
Heeseung was in no mindset to be playing golf right now. All he wanted was to go back home and wallow miserably in his bed. Unfortunately, they were only on hole ten of eighteen, and judging by his performance today, Heeseung knew it was going to take awhile.
"Did you know?" Heeseung couldn't help but blurt out, his frustration evident in his voice as he watched Jay effortlessly swing a shot miles better than his own.
Confusion flickered across Jay's face as he turned to face his friend. "What do you mean?"
“Did you know that she was coming back with Jake?” Heeseung felt his jaw tense as he mentioned his ex-friend.
“I didn’t even know he was with her until today. Honestly, I thought he’d just fucked off somewhere and didn’t bother telling any of us, considering how things went down. You know me, I would’ve told you straight up if I had found out earlier.” Heeseung trusted Jay implicitly. He was as loyal as they came, but unfortunately, the same couldn’t be said for everyone in their friend group.
"Do you think Sunghoon knew?" Heeseung's question elicited an audible groan from Jay.
If anyone in their friend group knew how Jake spent his summer, it would undoubtedly be Sunghoon. However, Sunghoon was notoriously tight-lipped, especially when it came to sensitive matters. Since the breakup, the entire friend group had undergone an incredibly awkward shift. It seemed that everyone had more or less chosen a side, and allegiances were clear.
"You know he wouldn't tell us anything if he did. It's getting ridiculous. The other day, I saw Gaeul and him having brunch or something at the clubhouse, and the moment she spotted me, she practically sprinted over to explain herself. She claimed she's still 'Switzerland' in the whole situation and hasn't chosen a side," Jay recounted, frustration evident in his voice. 
Heeseung almost snorted at the absurdity of it all. Their friend group had never been one to keep secrets or tiptoe around each other, but the last few months had been nothing but that. The betrayal by you and Jake had not only affected Heeseung's relationship with you but had also tainted the dynamic of their entire friend group.
“Literally, what is there to be ‘Switzerland’ about? I mean, this whole thing isn’t even complicated. Everyone saw them go into the bathroom together and come out literally holding hands. Trust me, I know what she looks like after giving head, and that's literally what she looked like in that video Beomgyu sent. Plus, Karina literally heard them.” Heeseung angrily got into the golf cart as Jay fished the keys out to start driving.
“Okay, well, no offense, but in all honesty, Karina’s probably not the most reliable source, cause she’s in an extremely biased position, but I guess that’s beside the point.” Jay’s words seemed to instantly bring a frown upon Heeseung’s face.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Heeseung’s tone sharply switched up in an almost defensive manner.
Jay, feeling this shift, nervously cleared his throat as he stammered, trying his best not to offend his already sensitive friend regarding an even more fragile situation. “I mean, uh, well. You know…”
“What?” The grip he had on the seat of the golf cart seemed to get tighter as he waited for his friend to elaborate.
“Dude, you can't be serious? You know Karina’s been trying to ride your dick for the past, what, give or take ten years? I mean, we all know that she’s never had a good relationship with Y/N, and I’m pretty sure most of that resentment stemmed from the fact that you’ve always been head over heels for Y/N.” Jay slowly parked the cart and turned off the engine as he explained.
Still not understanding Jay’s point, Heeseung furrowed his brows, shooting his friend another annoyed look before getting out of the golf cart. “What are you trying to get at?”
“Jesus fucking Christ, you’re dense. I mean, the last couple of months before Y/N cheated on you was the closest you seemed to have gotten with Karina because of that final project that you guys had or whatever. I mean, you were with her more times than you were with your own girlfriend, and knowing Karina, she seems like she could be delusional enough to have maybe taken that as a sign that you were interested in her? I mean, this is all speculation, but I’m just letting you know what we all saw.”
Jay cautiously treaded this topic. Heeseung was his best friend since they were babies, and he would always be on his side, but Karina was never anyone’s favorite with her extremely polarizing personality. He had no allegiance towards her, not to mention that she wasn’t actually even in their friend group and always only ever found lingering around wherever Heeseung was, so it was much easier for Jay to actually see through her. In fact, it seemed that all of their friends could pretty much catch on to Karina’s end goal except Heeseung.
“So you think it’s my fault that Y/N cheated on me?” The air got tense as Heeseung snapped at Jay while snatching his 7-iron out of the bag. “Just because I spent some time doing a stupid fucking school project with Karina doesn’t mean it gives her reason to go and suck off one of my best friends.”
Jay shook his head even before Heeseung was done with his sentence. Heeseung seemed to not be getting the point. “Fuck no, dude, that’s not what I’m saying. Karina has an incentive: you. If she gets rid of Y/N, then it means you’re up for grabs. Of course, Karina didn’t force Y/N to get on her knees for Sim, but she was the first one to come running, telling us what happened even before Beomgyu sent that video.” Heeseung was trying hard to focus on trying to get his ball on the green as he geared up to swing while listening to Jay.
“So you don’t think she should’ve warned me of what she heard?” He swung precisely, but it seemed that this whole course, to be precise, wasn’t going easy on him. He’d be lucky to get even a double bogey on the par-4.
Jay slightly grimaced at Heeseung’s shot. “No, it’s not that,” he let out a sigh as he walked over to Heeseung. “Look, you’ve been my best friend for as long as I can remember, and I know the past few months have been fucking hard because of what Y/N put you through, and I just want you to be careful. Karina’s always been kind of a conniving, spoiled bitch who finds a way to get what she wants. Just because she’s been warming your bed every night since Y/N fell off the fucking Earth doesn’t mean she should be someone you start trusting.”
There was nothing he could say back to his friend’s words and it seemed that what Jay had said clung on deep to Heeseung's thoughts throughout the day, casting a lingering shadow and leaving a bitter aftertaste in his mind.
A small bead of sweat trickled down your back as the sun's relentless heat beat down on you. You took a small sip from your now lukewarm glass of champagne, its warmth doing little to refresh you. Today felt even hotter than previous years, and once again, you found yourself questioning why your mother insisted on hosting her most important event during the hottest month of the year.
Your cheeks were hurting from all the forced smiles you’d already given to family friends and important figures in your mother’s business circle. This garden party was always about promoting her upcoming collection and ensuring the continued support, financial and otherwise (not that she needed any more money), of both new and old acquaintances and partners. So, as always, it was no surprise that you were dressed head to toe in unveiled pieces from your mother’s upcoming collection. While no one could deny her incredible eye for fashion and the breathtaking quality of her creations, the white-tiered tulle dress with its plunging neckline felt entirely too inappropriate for a garden party and was getting on your last nerve. You stood out like a peacock—a testament to your mother’s outstanding handiwork—but you weren't a fan of the attention it drew.
“I need to get out of this fucking dress,” you muttered through gritted teeth, your annoyance palpable. 
Jake chuckled softly beside you. “I can think of a few ways to get you out of that.” 
You shot him a sharp look, clearly unimpressed by his insinuation. “Don’t say shit like that, especially around everyone. It’s not funny.”
“What? No one's around to hear, and even if they did, it wouldn’t matter. Everyone already thinks we’re fucking, and to be fair, they’re not that off.” He shrugged, a smirk playing on his lips. 
Without hesitation, you elbowed him hard in the ribs, your face growing even more pissed off. “That’s not funny, Jake. Seriously, shut up. It happened only a couple of times and that’s it. If anyone hears that, they’re actually going to think I cheated on Heeseung with you.” 
Your pretty face sported a cold, serious expression, leaving no doubt about how much this mattered to you.
“Honey, I told you, they already think you cheated on Heeseung with me, so this isn’t going to change anything. Besides, you know damn well it wasn’t just a couple of times,” Jake rolled his eyes at your dramatics.
“Yeah, well, the difference is that every time I slept with you was when I wasn’t dating him, so I didn’t actually cheat. You’re just making everything worse by making it seem like you’re confirming what they already assume.” Your irritation was through the roof, and the heat was doing nothing to quell your annoyance.
Before Jake could say anything else, your mother’s saccharine voice filled the space. For once, you were grateful for her impeccable timing. “Oh, darling, I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”
The event’s dress code was always an all-white affair, but even then, your mother seemed to shine brighter than any of the guests. You were almost taken aback when you fully turned to face her. “Hey, Mom.”
You flashed her a tight smile, but she barely spared you a glance, her attention focused entirely on the figure next to you. Jake seemed to stiffen under your mother’s gaze. “Hello, Jake. You seem to be enjoying yourself,” she said, giving his attire a quick once-over and humming in approval. “You look quite nice. Brioni, I’m assuming?”
“Yes, as usual, the event is beautiful Mrs. L/N. You’ve definitely outdone yourself,” he nervously chuckled. Despite his attempts at flattery, your mother’s cold gaze remained fixed on him. “And you’re right, it is a custom piece from Brioni.”
“Unsurprising, seeing that your father is rarely seen in anything else. Perhaps you could enlighten him to broaden his wardrobe, and maybe we can see about getting you a custom piece of mine. I have no doubt the materials I use are incomparable to much of what’s in your wardrobe already. Though, I’m sure you already know that, since it seems much of your time these days is spent taking my beautiful pieces off my daughter.”
“Mom!” You gasped loudly, your eyes widening in disbelief at her bold statement. Your mother was never one to hold back her words, but this was beyond her usual antics. Next to you, Jake stiffened even more, nervously trying to regain his composure.
"Uh, Mrs. Y/LN, I can assure you that whatever you think is happening between me and your daughter is not actually true," Jake stammered, his voice strained with tension.
Your mother clicked her tongue in annoyance, obviously not buying his claims. "Well, the conversation I overheard the two of you having before I came seemed to say something different."
“Mom, can we not do this here?” You darted your eyes around, making sure that no one else was catching on to what was happening.
“Well, darling, I would usually never impose myself like this in your personal relationships, but it seems like the two of you have brought not only our families into this but now also my business as collateral just for the sake of some mindless fucking.”
You had never heard your mother speak with such scandalous vocabulary before. Seeing her like this was beyond unsettling and left you utterly speechless.  
“Ma’am, I assure you that the rumors about our infidelity are not true at all. It’s been a huge misunderstanding that—"
"Jake, I've always held you in high regard, ever since you were a baby raised alongside my daughter. You've grown into a very smart and handsome young man, one your parents should be proud of. Out of respect for your mother, who you know is one of my closest and longest friends, I've tried to overlook what's been happening over the past few months. However, overhearing the two of you brazenly talking about your sexcapades in public, especially during one of the most important events of my year, is something I simply cannot ignore. This has not only strained my relationship with one of my closest business partners, but it has also jeopardized our families' standing. If anyone else had overheard, I can’t even begin to think how much worse the already damaging rumors would become."
“Mom seriously can you stop this,” you were furious that she would decide to do this here of all places. “This is fucking ridiculous and you know damn well that none of those stupid rumors are true. We can talk about this later, please.”
"I believe I'm entitled to speak as I please, especially considering this is my event," she retorted sharply. "Your father and I were generous enough to allow you to spend your entire summer break away without expecting you to address this mess you've created for us. I had hoped for better judgment from you. Instead, you and Jake decided to further exacerbate this situation by turning this trip into some sort of romantic getaway. I sure hope you were at least being smart and careful. The only thing that would make this situation worse is if you were to become pregnant. Who knows, you might even be pregnant right now. It wouldn’t even surprise me seeing as though that seems to be the only thing the two of you were doing in Monaco.” 
Jake was a stuttering mess, his face flushed with embarrassment at the accusation. "Mrs. Y/LN, I swear that's not true," he managed to stammer out.
Before he could say anything else, your mother cut him off again. "I'm not so sure I can trust you on that. How can you be so sure that you didn't knock up my daughter?"
You were seething with anger at your mother's behavior, ready to intervene when suddenly a figure caught your eye. 
Heeseung's fist connected with Jake's jaw before you even had a chance to react. The punch caught Jake off guard, and as he tried to recover, Heeseung landed another swift blow to his face. 
"You got her pregnant?" Heeseung's voice was filled with anger as he launched himself at Jake, who was still reeling from the first two punches.
“What the fuck!” Jake groaned, struggling to fend off Heeseung's relentless assault.
Beside you, your mother was in a panic, shouting for security as everyone's attention turned to the commotion that erupted in front of you.
Before you could step in, Jay appeared out of nowhere, desperately trying to pull his friend away from their former friend.
"Heeseung, stop!" you screamed, rushing to Jay's aid.
But Heeseung was relentless, disregarding his surroundings entirely. All sense of decorum was abandoned as he straddled Jake, who was attempting to dodge Heeseung's blows while pushing him away.
From the other side, Sunghoon came running over to help pull Heeseung off of Jake. "Jesus Christ, Heeseung, get off him!"
After a couple of seconds of struggle, the three of you were finally able to pull Heeseung off of Jake, though he continued to struggle in attempts to break free. Security, called by your mother, arrived and joined in to help restrain the enraged boy.
Jake laid on the grass, his previously pristine custom white suit dirtied with splatters of blood and dirt from rolling around. Heeseung didn't look much better, his own suit now stained with blood, evidence of the fight. Despite being at a disadvantage, Jake had managed to land a few good punches, evidenced by the blood dripping from Heeseung’s nose. It was a chaotic scene, with whispers and murmurs from the other guests confirming their attention on the altercation. You could sense your mother's fury, even without seeing her directly.
"What the hell is this?" A gruff voice angrily interrogated.
Heeseung’s father had never been an easy person to be around, so you couldn’t even imagine how angry he currently was at his son’s behavior.
However, Heeseung seemed not to hear his father, his eyes staying trained on Jake, who was getting up with Sunghoon's help.
“Oh my, Liz, I am so sorry. I’m appalled; I genuinely am. I'm so embarrassed. I don’t know what came over him.” Heeseung’s mom quickly ran over to where your mother stood with fury and attempted to sincerely apologize.
“We are leaving.” Heeseung’s dad yanked his son from the security’s grip and started to drag him away, but not before also turning towards your mom with a stern look. “Yes, we apologize for our son’s behavior. We hope it didn’t ruin this beautiful event, and we will be excusing ourselves. Thank you for having us.”
You were still in shock with everything, and it seemed that everyone else was too, as no one moved and stood in silence, taking in everything that had happened. There was no way this just happened.
To say the last couple of days had been hell for you would be an understatement. Honestly, it felt even worse than the days following your breakup with Heeseung, when you could at least pack your bags and leave the country. But this time, with school starting in a week, that luxury would unfortunately not be granted to you a second time. Your parents were adamant that you face the mess head-on and frankly you found yourself wishing that you never returned from Monaco.
To make matters worse, Ryujin still wasn’t back. While she called every day, you still felt alone, especially since you hadn’t talked to Jake since your mom’s party. Rumors about your supposed pregnancy were rampant, further emphasizing your alleged infidelity, and you figured it was best to get some space from Jake until the rumors died down.
With nothing to do, you found yourself doing things you’d never normally do—like wandering down the chip aisle, looking for something to make you feel better about your situation.
“No, Ryujin, you don’t get it,” you huffed into the phone, frustration evident in your voice as you searched desperately for anything that sounded good. “I’ve gotten DMs from random people I’ve barely spoken to, asking if I’m actually pregnant and how far along I am. I’m so fucking sick of this.”
“Oh babe, I’m so sorry. This sucks so bad. It’s literally so fucking absurd and Heeseung was so stupid for this like I still can’t believe he did that.  Don’t worry though, I’ll be there soon so just hold on,” Ryujin sounded sincere as the sound of waves echoed in the background. You envied your friend, who was probably at the beach right now, getting a nice tan with her hot beau, and not miserably suffering in this stupid predicament like you were.
“Ugh, I can’t wait until you’re here. I’m like seriously going through it and I just hope it’ll die down once school starts, but I doubt it because—”
“Y/N?” 
You were abruptly cut off by a shrill voice. Even before you turned your head to face them, you knew exactly who it was and found yourself unable to hold back an exasperated groan. “Fuck, I’ll call you later, Ryujin.”
Karina had always been one of the most beautiful girls you knew, even from a young age and you couldn’t deny that she looked stunning now, even under the horrendously yellow dim lights of the grocery store. But, like always, she had a knack for bringing out a grimace on your face, which you sported as you turned to face her.
“Oh my God, no way! I thought it was you earlier but I was like, no way is The Y/N out shopping for groceries. But honestly, who else could it be? I mean, you’re unmistakable.” Karina held a shopping basket in one hand that barely had anything in it. She was dressed like she was about to attend a charity gala, a stark contrast to your Lululemon shorts and an old shirt from Heeseung’s closet.
“Hey, Karina,” was all you could let out before she animatedly started speaking again, not giving you a second to talk. 
"It's been so long! I mean, how long has it been since we last saw each other? You didn’t even say goodbye to any of us and just left but you look great, especially considering—oh, and congrats! Honestly, I was actually worried it would be awkward between us, but once I heard the news, all my worries disappeared. You and Jake seem so happy together, and you have no idea how thrilled I was when I heard that you guys are about to start a family. It’s so cute and I now know that there's no reason for me to worry about you getting mad about me and Heeseung. Although I was a little surprised your boyfriend attacked mine like that, but I’m sure it was just a misunderstanding.” 
Karina spoke without pausing, giving you no time to digest her words and she didn’t seem to notice your growing annoyance as she continued to babble with that smug look on her face.
“Wait hold on, you and Heeseung are dating?” There was no way you heard her right.
But it seemed that you did as she nodded with a bright smile on her face. “Yeah it’s still kind of new only a couple of months but it’s been amazing. I mean I’m sure you know just as well that he’s like literally the best.” Her voice slowly drowned out as you took everything in. A couple of months ago was literally when you left for Monaco so it meant that Heeseung didn’t waste any time to make Karina his girlfriend. 
“What the fuck, Karina?” You didn’t hold back, making sure she knew you were beyond enraged at this new revelation.
Her face held a surprised expression as you cut her off abruptly. “I’m sorry, but what do you mean?”
You rolled your eyes. You knew she understood exactly what you were talking about, and it infuriated you that she was pretending otherwise. You knew Karina too well; she was reveling in the fact that she currently had something you didn’t for the first time in her life.
“Drop the act, Karina. I don’t have time for this shit. We both know exactly what you’re trying to do, and it’s pathetic. You and your friends can call me a slut for supposedly cheating on Heeseung, but it’s rich coming from you when you and Heeseung literally did the same thing. Not to mention the fact that you two didn’t even wait a decent amount of time before getting together after he and I broke up. So honestly, I hope you’re both happy and sincerely, fuck you both.” 
You didn't bother to stick around to hear whatever else she had to say. As you turned and walked away, you felt your eyes welling up with tears. You thought you were over Heeseung, but clearly, that wasn’t the case. The revelation of his new relationship pulled at your heartstrings, making you wonder if you ever really mattered to him the way he did to you. Nothing hurt more than realizing that the two year-long relationship you cherished above all else might have been a joke to him.
“Ryujin, I really don’t think I’m up for going out,” you sighed, looking at yourself in the mirror. Ryujin, on the other side of the room, was finishing her makeup at the vanity.
“No way, I told you, you’re not staying holed up moping around because of Heeseung again. You already did that in Monaco, and I’m not letting you waste any more time on that asshole. You’re coming out with us, and you are going to have an amazing night.”
Ryujin had finally come back the day before, and while having her by your side made you feel better, you couldn’t stop thinking about your ex.
“I seriously doubt one night of drinking and partying will make Heeseung disappear from my thoughts,” you muttered, rolling your eyes. You knew Ryujin would end up dragging you out, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t complain the whole time.
“I think you’re underestimating the power of a good night out. Who knows, maybe you’ll find some hottie to get your mind off everything,” Ryujin shrugged while spritzing perfume. “Maybe you should go looking for Jake.”
You shook your head at her. “Jake’s not going to help.”
“Well actually, from what I remember I think Jake helped a good bit with speeding up the process of you getting over moping about Heeseung a couple of months ago so who’s to say that it won’t work this time?” 
“I am not sleeping with Jake again. That would literally make everything like so much worse. Everyone already thinks I’m pregnant with his kid. I don’t need more things to fuel that rumor.”
Ryujin wasn’t wrong about your summer situationship with Jake helping to distract you, but continuing it back here would only add fuel to the fire. Not to mention, your relationship with Jake was purely platonic with some sexual attraction. That was all it ever was even back in high school, and you had both talked at length about how neither of you saw a relationship beyond friendship. So even if you went to him looking for something more, Jake ultimately wouldn’t be able to give you what you wanted.
“Well then there’s other people! What about-” You cut her off abruptly.
You cut her off abruptly. “Ryujin, I know you’re just trying to help, and I really do appreciate it, but I just think sleeping with other people isn’t going to solve anything. I just want to lay low this semester and focus on school. I don’t want to be wrapped up in more drama.” Done with the conversation, you grabbed your purse, suddenly more eager to get to the party if it meant changing the subject.
“Ready to go?” you asked, and just like that, her eyes lit up and a wide, giddy smile spread across her face as she eagerly followed you out.
The Uber ride was short, and before you knew it, you had arrived. Hyunjin was known for throwing the best parties, and tonight was no exception. The massive manor, which you were all too familiar with, was already buzzing with more people than you imagined his parents would ever find acceptable.
“Hey, there you guys are!” Ryujin’s close friend Yujin, who you were also friendly with, excitedly ran over to greet you both. She had been studying abroad for 6 months and you hadn’t seen her since so you were even more elated to see her. 
“Hey, Yujin! It’s been a while! You and Sunoo looked like you were having the time of your lives in Italy.” You greeted her warmly, following her inside as she led you to where all the drinks were.
“Oh yeah, it was beyond amazing, but I’m sure nothing compares to Monaco. God, I haven’t been there in ages.” She poured out shots and passed them to you and Ryujin. Without hesitation, the three of you knocked them back, grimacing slightly at the aftertaste.
“Fuck, I already miss it. It took like an hour to say goodbye to Louis, and I was so upset for the first 30 minutes of the plane ride. But the good thing about summer flings is that after the goodbyes, there's nothing left to hold onto, so it’s easy to get over.” Ryujin poured another shot for both of you while Yujin reached for a can of Ranch Water.
“I literally thought they were going to try something serious since she was with him all summer. Half the time, I couldn’t even find her because she and Louis were off somewhere, but I guess he really was just a summer fling.” You nudged your friend as Yujin let out an amused giggle.
“I bet! Those pics on your most recent Insta post, man, they were hot. What about you, Y/N? Any European hotties catch your eye?” Yujin wiggled her brows, and you rolled your eyes while reaching behind her for a can of Ranch Water.
“More like an Australian hottie,” Ryujin teased, and you instantly elbowed her.
“Jesus Christ, Ryujin, seriously shut up.” You shot her an annoyed look.
Yujin, however, seemed to find amusement in Ryujin’s remark as she gave you a wide-eyed look while giggling. “No way, so it’s true then?”
“Fuck no. I mean yeah, we hooked up, but I swear to God I’m not pregnant.” You shook your head vehemently.
You saw Yujin open her mouth, but Ryujin beat her to it, grabbing your arm. “Don’t turn around.”
Your brows furrowed at her panicked actions, and you started to turn your head, but she quickly stopped you. “What? What happened?”
“Fuck, Heeseung’s here,” Yujin answered, her eyes darting around past your head. “He’s over there near the pool table. Don’t turn around.”
You stood still, heart racing, as you listened to your friends' directions. You saw Ryujin's expression shift from panic to a scowl.
“And he brought Karina. She’s stuck on him like a fucking leech,” Ryujin sneered. Even before the summer, Ryujin had always been Karina’s number one hater, so her reaction was no surprise.
Quickly, you decided it would be best to leave the area, and the girls seemed to think the same as the three of you started to move. But before you could take a step out of the kitchen, a booming voice caught your attention.
“Y/N!” Sunghoon’s voice echoed through the music, loud enough for everyone in the vicinity to hear. You stiffened as you realized your presence was now exposed to everyone.
“Fuck, it’s been a long time!” He approached with a massive smile and, before you could even respond, engulfed you in a tight hug. Behind him, you spotted Jake trailing close by, rolling his eyes at his friend.
"Hey, Sunghoon," you greeted him back, debating whether to reciprocate the hug he wasn't letting go of.
"Okay, buddy, that's enough," Jake intervened, yanking his friend back.
"Oh, princess, you got even prettier while you were away! If that's even possible, but damn, you look amazing," Sunghoon's red, dopey eyes hinted at his intoxicated state.
"He's crossed," Jake confirmed, as if reading your mind.
"Oh God, why did you let him do that again?" Ryujin scolded Jake, delivering a disapproving look along with a smack on his arm.
"What the fuck! I'm not his babysitter," Jake retorted, shooting Ryujin a pointed look.
"Well, he is your best friend," you shrugged.
"I'm totally fine, you guys worry too much," Sunghoon shot everyone a smile before reaching for the drink in your hand, which you quickly pulled away.
"Yeah, Sunghoon, maybe lay off the drinking and smoking for now. I think I still have the video from the last time you got crossed," Yujin remarked, raising a skeptical brow at his current state. The mention of the video drew snorts of amusement from everyone except Sunghoon.
Instead, Sunghoon's eyes widened at her words, shaking his head vigorously. "I swear that won’t happen tonight."
"Well, it might if you keep this up," Ryujin added, recalling the infamous incident the last time Sunghoon was in this state. It involved projectile vomiting on a girl followed by passing out on her, effectively ruining any chance he might have had with her.
"Whatever," Sunghoon rolled his eyes, turning away, but before he could even take a step, he turned right back around (unsteadily with Jake stepping in to steady him), and blurted out, "Heeseung's here."
You could hear Jake cursing under his breath at Sunghoon’s words, while Ryujin nodded.
"Yeah, we were trying to sneak out of the kitchen before they noticed us, and then you had to go and yell Y/N’s name," Ryujin added.
"Oh," Sunghoon sheepishly nodded. "My bad."
"Does he have to fucking bring her everywhere?" Jake muttered, casting another glance towards where Heeseung and Karina were.
"You know, I even heard Jay’s getting sick of her tagging along everywhere."
"Where’d you hear that?" You shot Sunghoon a suspicious look.
“Gaeul.”
"She still hangs out with them?" Ryujin scoffed, clearly annoyed.
"She claims to be the neutral party between us."
“So she’s still being a fucking dumbass?” Ryujin shot back, clearly unimpressed with their friend’s stance.
"Well, she still reports everything back to us, so it's not all bad," Jake tried to reason, but Ryujin wasn't buying it.
From next to you, Yujin chuckled. "Your friend group is so fucking messy, thank God I'm not involved. I'm going to find Hyunjin for some weed. Good luck sorting out your drama." She shot you a wink before briskly walking away before anyone could respond.
"Are we really that messy?" Sunghoon asked innocently, but before anyone could answer, he vomited everywhere.
You were cursing under your breath as you tried to wash the puke out of your shorts, fuming at Park Sunghoon. Thankfully, they were black, so staining wasn't an issue, but standing in your underwear in a house party bathroom, scrubbing your pants instead of enjoying the night, was infuriating. Even if you managed to clean them, you'd be stuck wearing damp pants for the rest of the night.
As you wrung out the fabric, desperate to dry them as much as possible, the bathroom door suddenly swung open.
“Oh! Sorry— Y/N?” Heeseung’s eyes widened in surprise when he realized not only that someone was already in the bathroom but that it was you.
In your haste to escape Sunghoon's vomit, you must have forgotten to lock the door. Naturally, Heeseung had to be the one to barge in.
The two of you stood there awkwardly, each taking in the other's appearance. It was technically your first real encounter since your return, discounting the brief moment at your mother's garden party before Heeseung was promptly escorted away by his parents.
He looked way too good, enough to stir butterflies in your stomach. It was unsettling how Heeseung could still have this effect on you after everything that had happened.
"Hey, Y/N," he greeted cautiously, breaking the silence. The tension in the room was palpable.
"Hey, Heeseung," you replied, unsure of how to navigate the awkwardness.
"Sunghoon was right," he blurted out abruptly, his words coming out in a rush before he could stop himself.
Your eyebrows knit together in confusion. "What?"
"I-I mean, he said... that you look even prettier now," Heeseung stumbled over his words, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment. "I mean, not that you weren't pretty before, but, um... yeah." 
Your cheeks warmed at his unexpected compliment. This wasn't how you had imagined your first conversation with him after coming back would go. 
"Uh, thanks."
A few more uncomfortable seconds ticked by before Heeseung finally seemed to notice your state. "Uh, what are you doing?"
You had completely forgotten about your current attire—just in your underwear, a lacy black thong that had driven Heeseung wild a few months ago.
"Oh, Sunghoon threw up on me after getting crossed," you explained, shaking your head in annoyance as you returned to wringing out your shorts.
"Again? Fuck, he really needs to learn not to do that. If he had a nickel for every time he puked on a pretty girl while he was crossed, he'd have two," Heeseung remarked, a hint of amusement in his voice. You couldn't help but let out a small laugh. There was no way you were actually laughing at your cheating ex’s jokes. 
Heeseung seemed to relax a bit upon hearing your giggles, joining in with a laugh of his own.
"Here, let me help. There's probably a dryer around here somewhere," he offered, finally deciding to step into the bathroom as he closed the door behind him. He bent down, rifling through a couple of cabinets until he found what he was looking for.
"Fuck, I don't know why I didn't think of that earlier," you muttered, taking the dryer from him and plugging it in before switching it on.
He reached over to hold your shorts for you while you dried them. After a few minutes, you turned off the dryer, confident your shorts were dry enough by now. "Thanks," you said, taking them from him.
As you looked up at him, you suddenly became aware of the closeness between the two of you. Your breath caught in your throat as your eyes locked with his.
Fuck he was hot.
You could feel the all-too-familiar warmth spreading throughout your body as the two of you held each other's gaze, neither daring to look away. Slowly, almost as if guided by muscle memory, you inched your faces closer until you could feel his breath on your lips, poised to kiss him. But a small voice in your head stopped you before you could fully lean in.
“Wait.” 
Heeseung instantly pulled back. "Fuck, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."
"No, no it's not that. I can’t do that to Karina," you hurriedly explained, shaking your head. Tears threatened to spill over as the pain of Heeseung's past betrayal resurfaced. Despite any animosity toward Karina, you couldn't bring yourself to inflict that same hurt on anyone else.
"What?" Heeseung furrowed his brows, confusion etched across his face as he looked at you.
"Heeseung, you can't just fucking cheat on her after you cheated on me with her!" You shot him an incredulous look, unable to believe how close he had come to infidelity once again.
His head shook vehemently, confusion clouding his eyes. "What do you mean? If anything, you're the one who's cheating!"
"Jesus Christ, for the last fucking time, I'm not dating Jake!" You yelled in frustration.
“And I’m not dating Karina!”
The two of you stared at each other, mutual confusion now evident, leaving you both speechless.
“What?” 
"Yeah, I'm not dating her! And what do you mean you're not dating Jake?" Heeseung shot back, equally bewildered.
"I literally saw her a couple of days ago, and she told me the two of you had been dating for a couple of months," you said, watching Heeseung shake his head in disbelief.
"What the fuck! She's fucking lying, we are not dating, let alone have been dating. That fucking bitch, literally what the fuck," Heeseung was beyond pissed.
You scoffed, equally heated. "Karina was literally rubbing it in my face about how happy you two were. And for your information, I have never dated Jake."
"What the fuck, Y/N? I fucking punched him!" Heeseung felt like he was going insane. Everything he had believed for the past few months was suddenly a lie.
You rolled your eyes at his outburst. "Yeah, I fucking know. I was there, if you remember! He still has a fucking split lip because of you, and my mom's still beyond mad about it."
You had to be lying, Heeseung couldn’t believe your words. “There’s no fucking way.”
“Yeah you fucking dumbass, you beat him up for nothing.” 
“Wait, wait, wait no it’s still fucking justified! He was one of my best friends who went on and fucking slept with my girlfriend!” There was no way the two of you were actually having this conversation at a raging party after not seeing each other for three months.
"No, he didn't! Or at least not while we were dating, and I'm also not fucking pregnant!" Your voice echoed in the cramped bathroom. You were still intoxicated and could feel a headache coming on. 
"Fuck you! Literally, everyone saw you two that night," Heeseung retorted sharply, but before he could continue, it seemed he fully absorbed your words, his eyes narrowing in disbelief. "So you have been fucking Jake!"
"Yeah, but only after we broke up, not before! And you can't be acting all innocent when you've literally been with Karina!" You were annoyed by his accusatory tone. He was such a fucking hypocrite.
"Okay, but I didn't blatantly sleep with her at a party while we were still together like you did—"
You cut him off by smashing your lips against his, needing to silence him in any way possible. You couldn't stand another moment of arguing about this.
You could feel Heeseung freeze for a second, taken aback by your action, but he quickly recovered as you could feel his lips move against yours. 
There was nothing romantic about the kiss as the two of you hungrily pushed back against each other, fighting for dominance. Teeth clashed against each other as your tongues battled back and forth and you could barely breathe, but it seemed that neither of you considered stopping anytime soon. 
His hands quickly found themselves ripping your top off you as yours went straight down to undo his pants and push them down. You finally pulled away from the kiss to spit on your hand before going straight back into his lips. Not a second was spared to think about your actions as you didn’t hesitate to stick your hand down his underwear. He was already half-hard and you quickly wrapped your hand around his length, inciting a groan out of him. 
While one hand worked on pushing down his underwear the other worked on pumping him. Heeseung was in almost the same state as one of his hands was found groping at your boobs, playing with your nipple, while the other also attempted to pull your underwear down.
As soon as your thong reached mid-thigh, Heeseung quickly broke the kiss to turn you around and roughly push you down against the bathroom counter. You jolted at the cold counter pressing against your already sensitive nipples but Heeseung pushed down hard on your back so you couldn’t lift yourself up. You looked helpless in the mirror and without warning you felt his dick plunging deep inside of you.
You gasped at the intrusion. Sharp pain erupted within you as tears welled in your eyes and you could do nothing except tightly squeeze them shut while your hands desperately attempted to grab at anything to hold on to. Heeseung had started to fuck you without even giving you a second to adjust and your cries filled the bathroom. 
You hadn’t been fucked like this in so long and sure Jake was a freak in bed with a big dick but he had never considered fucking you before making sure you were prepped. No, this was Heeseung’s specialty. He fucking loved it and you couldn’t help but also find yourself loving the pain that came with his pleasure. 
“Fucking slut, look at yourself,” Heeseung growled in your ear before roughly grabbing your hair and pulling it back, forcing you to face yourself in the mirror. 
“Please, Heeseung,” you could barely moan out. 
His hand gripped your hip so tightly that he knew bruises from his fingers were sure to be left afterward and his eyes were crazed as he battered himself even harder against your cervix, giving you no respite.
“What? What else could you want, I’m already fucking you. Greedy whore.” You felt yourself clench tighter around him as you heard his words. You were almost there as you could feel the tight coil just about ready to snap.
“Oh fuck, Heeseung harder,” you screamed. 
Heeseung did just as you asked and as if it was possible, you felt him force himself even deeper inside you at a faster pace. You knew he was battering deep at your cervix, but you were too focused on chasing your orgasm that you couldn’t even care for the dull aching pain. His hand in your hair pushed your head against the mirror and you found yourself unable to stop yourself from drooling and fogging up the mirror. His animalistic grunts filled your ear and the grip in your hair got tighter. 
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” You screamed out as the coil snapped and you felt yourself reaching your ultimate high. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you slumped against the mirror, having no strength to hold yourself up.
Heeseung was also close as you felt his cock twitch inside you and before you knew it, warm spurts of cum painted inside of you as you felt him thrust a couple of more times while he panted. He came so much that you could even feel some drip down the inside of your thighs.
“Fuck,” he breathed out as he slowly pulled out, watching his cum drip out of you and land on the bathroom floor. 
You were still slumped against the mirror, attempting to catch your breath and process what had just happened.
As your eyes connected with Heeseung’s through the mirror, a rush of emotions overwhelmed you. The weight of what the two of you had just done bore down on you, and shame began to smother you, making you feel like you were suffocating. You couldn't stay there with him a moment longer. Quickly, you dressed yourself, doing your best to ignore the aching pain between your legs. Heeseung looked confused by your sudden change, but before he could say anything, you were out the door, leaving him to dwell on the implications of your actions.
You honestly hadn’t been listening to anything Ryujin had been saying for the past couple of minutes as she rambled on. Instead, you stared at the piece of salmon on your plate, analyzing each line that ran through the fish. If you didn’t focus on this, your mind would start drifting back to what happened yesterday, and you'd rather shoot yourself in the foot than think about that.
“Hey, Y/N, are you even listening?” Ryujin raised her voice, trying to get your attention.
Snapping out of it, you finally took your eyes away from your dinner and looked up at her. “Oh, sorry, I got distracted.”
“Yeah, no shit. I’ve been talking to you, and you went catatonic or something. What is up with you?” She furrowed her brows at your unusual behavior.
“Nothing, I’m fine,” you quickly responded, but you knew the second she put her utensils down that she wasn’t buying it.
“Don’t fucking try to lie to me. I can see through your bullshit. What’s wrong?” Her gaze was intense, analyzing you as if there would be an external sign explaining your strange behavior.
You sighed, debating whether to tell her exactly what had happened. Deciding against it, you realized that if you opened that can of worms, things would get even messier. “Uhm, I don’t know, I guess I’m just still hungover.”
“You didn’t even drink that much yesterday, though,” she said, brows still furrowed. She had noticed you hadn’t come out of your room all day and had to literally drag you out just to get dinner with her.
“Are you sick? You don’t really look sick though.”
You shook your head, searching for anything to blame your odd behavior on. “Uhm, I just think I bruised my cervix, and it just hurts.”
Her eyes instantly widened, and you could see her holding back a grin. “Oh my fucking God, you slut. You had me thinking something actually bad had happened! When did you and Sim even run off to fuck?”
You sighed in relief, glad that she was distracted by the news you had just dropped on her. She didn’t notice the lingering look in your eyes that indicated there was actually something deeper driving you mad.
“Uh, quickie in the bathroom. I don’t know, you were probably too drunk to notice.”
She hummed while nodding. “Yeah, I’m not going to lie, I don’t really remember much after Sunghoon puked everywhere. But fuck, a bruised cervix from a quickie is insane. Oh, Yujin is going to love this.”
“Yeah, it’s a fucking bitch. I feel like I’m sitting on a knife or something,” you said. You weren’t lying about this part—you were sure Heeseung had actually bruised your cervix with how hard he fucked you last night—but you were fine letting her think you had slept with Jake instead.
“Oh, my poor baby. No wonder you’ve been in bed all day. Let’s just get this boxed up and head back to the apartment. Geez, I’m gonna have to have a talk with Jake later.” You flashed her a smile, nodding at her suggestion, glad that this not only got her off your back but also got you out of having to stay another thirty minutes at this restaurant.
Y/N (evil bitch) 👹: 
if anyone asks we fucked last night kk?
JAKEY 🤢🦮:
wtf
Y/N (evil bitch) 👹:
no questions pls 
JAKEY 🤢🦮: 
fuck that what’d u do 🤨
Y/N (evil bitch) 👹:
none of your business go back to playing               roblox with riki or something 🙄
JAKEY 🤢🦮: 
THAT WAS ONE TIME
JAKEY 🤢🦮: 
fuck you
JAKEY 🤢🦮:
tell me!!!!! you made it my business when you dragged my dick into whatever it is so i deserve to know 😤
Y/N (evil bitch) 👹:
i bruised my cervix
JAKEY 🤢🦮:
HUH
JAKEY 🤢🦮:
NO I’M NOT TAKING THE BLAME FOR THAT??
Y/N (evil bitch) 👹:
everyone’s gonna think you have a big dick
JAKEY 🤢🦮:
bet 🙂‍↕️ 
The rest of the weekend passed without Ryujin or anyone else probing into your life, and you couldn’t have been happier. There were so many moments where you debated whether or not you should reach out to Heeseung, but you quickly dismissed the idea. Besides, you had blocked him on everything, and you were sure he had done the same, so there would be no point in trying.
Distracted by thoughts of Heeseung, it had completely slipped from your mind that school was starting back on Monday. Last night (thanks to Ryujin of course), you hurriedly packed your school bag and made sure you had everything for the first day.
And while you usually enjoyed school, just from today, you already felt overwhelmed. It seemed that all your professors had decided to assign work and readings for the next class. You were already swamped with assignments, feeling the weight of the semester ahead.
“Okay, but don’t you think I at least deserve to know who you slept with?” Jake's voice cut through your thoughts as you walked through the library shelves, searching for a book your professor had assigned out of nowhere that wasn’t even mentioned in the syllabus. You had been barely listening to his yapping as most of your focus was on finding the book. 
“Ryujin won’t stop talking my ear off about how I broke you and how you couldn’t move all weekend. She thinks I’m an ass and won’t stop scolding me like I’m the one who did it! I’m a gentleman—I’d never bruise anyone’s cervix without permission,” Jake said with an exasperated tone, trailing behind you.
“I’m pretty sure gentlemen, at least the ones i know don’t beg on their knees for anal-”
He cut you off, his eyes widening. “Alright, alright! That was one time and I was drunk. Jesus, woman! And don’t act like you didn’t let me do it—you were perfectly fine with it. Either way, I still feel like I should know who the fella is.”
“Please don’t say fella, it’s such a turn-off.” You scrunched your face at his choice of vocabulary, shaking your head before turning back to search for your book.
“Okay, fine, whatever. I just want to know who I’m protecting from Ryujin’s annoying ass, and honestly, I think Sunghoon overheard her, so now we can assume the whole school knows.” It was well-known that once any news hit Sunghoon, it spread through the school like wildfire. He had a bit of a loose lip and an affinity for gossip, making him the school’s personal Deuxmoi, but with none of the anonymity (maybe Perez Hilton was a better comparison).
“I’m serious, Jake, you don’t want to know. Just leave it. You owe me anyway.” By now, you were growing increasingly irritated with Jake’s relentless probing and the fact that you still couldn’t find the damn book.
He shot you an incredulous look. “Owe you for what? Now you’re just making up debts that don’t even exist!”
“Anal,” you replied without missing a beat, already smiling, knowing his reaction.
“Oh my God, Y/N, fuck you literally! Geez, if someone had told me this was the price I had to pay for putting it in the ass once, I wouldn’t have even touched it with a ten-foot pole,” Jake exclaimed, and you couldn’t help but giggle. You loved to mess with Jake, especially because he was always so overly dramatic and had the best reactions.
“Seriously, Jake, you don’t want to know. You did your job, so thanks, but please stop bothering me about this.” You flashed him an exaggerated smile and patted him on the head.
Jake’s eyes widened, and he stopped in his tracks. “No fucking way.”
“What?” You didn’t like how he was staring at you.
“Please don’t tell me you slept with Heeseung.” The smile on your face instantly vanished as you froze at his words. How the fuck did he know?
“No fucking way. You just slept with the enemy? Are you kidding me? Do you see this?” He gestured dramatically at his face. “This is the aftermath of my survival from his wrath and proof that I fought valiantly for you. And you go ahead and sleep with him? Oh my God, and you made everyone think I fucked up your vagina when it was actually him? Holy shit, wait until Ryujin hears about this.” You quickly reached over and clamped your hand over his mouth, realizing how absurdly loud he was being in the library.
“Shut the fuck up, you’re practically screaming! And what the fuck are you even talking about? Of course, I would never sleep with Heeseung.” You did your best to mask your surprise, hoping he wouldn’t catch on.
Jake shook his head, scoffing in disbelief. “You’re such a shit liar. The only other time I remember your cervix getting bruised was when Heeseung fucked you on that yacht last Christmas. Remember how you had a hard time sitting straight at Christmas dinner?”
Fuck, he got you there.
You sighed and reluctantly nodded, closing your eyes in frustration. “Okay, fine. But please don’t tell Ryujin, Sunghoon, or anyone else. I already feel like shit about it, and my self-worth is in the gutter right now. I’ve been sick all weekend just thinking about it.”
“He didn’t force you or anything, right?” Jake's face shifted to one of genuine concern, his brows knitting together.
You shook your head. “No, of course not. It’s just that I regret it so much. I felt so gross afterward. It was just a really, really bad drunken mistake, and I don’t want to talk about it. Seriously, thanks for covering for me. You’re literally the best because I really don’t want anyone to find out. I just want to forget about it.”
Jake studied you for a moment, clearly understanding how much this was affecting you. He nodded, reaching out to give you a comforting hug, which you gratefully returned while you let out a sigh. “Yeah, don’t worry. I won’t say anything. Just let me know if he tries anything else or if you need anything.”
The hug was comforting, a small balm for the turmoil of the weekend. You were relieved he didn’t press further or make you feel worse about what happened. However, as you started to pull away, a familiar voice sliced through the air, bringing with it an overwhelming sense of déjà vu. Jake’s groan confirmed the arrival of the last person you wanted to see.
“In the library is kinky, but what can I expect from the two of you? Always so classy,” Karina’s smug tone cut through the air. You and Jake quickly broke from the hug, and you rolled your eyes as you faced her, already irritated by her presence.
“Are you stupid or like blind? Cause obviously if you weren’t then you’d be able to clearly see we were just hugging you fucking dumbass,” Jake snapped back, his tone sharp. Normally, you’d find his sass amusing, but Karina’s presence seemed to have sucked out any potential humor in the air.
“Jesus, Jake, you’re such an ass,” Karina snapped back at him before turning her attention to you. “Get your dog on a leash, would you? Maybe you should have been more careful about who you chose to have a kid with. The anger issues are seriously concerning with this one, not to mention the aggression. Heard about what happened over the weekend.”
“Karina literally shut the fuck up. You know damn well I’m not pregnant. It’s not even funny anymore; you’re just dragging it out. Just fucking mind your own business,” you snapped, your anger bubbling over. You could see Jake’s jaw clenched tight, his irritation matching your own.
“Well actually it kind of is my business 'cause Heeseung has been MIA all weekend, and I can’t help but wonder—since you’re such a slut—if you had something to do with it. The past few months since you two left were perfect, but the second you come back, everything seems to be fucked up. So tell me, what the hell happened at the party?” Karina’s sneer was almost unbearable, and you fought the urge to slap her.
“Maybe he finally realized what a fucking bitch you are.”Jake’s voice was laced with disdain. If Ryujin was Karina’s biggest hater, Jake wouldn’t be far behind her. Even as kids he hated even having to sit at the same table as her so his hostility towards her was all too familiar for you.
Karina ignored him as her glare remained fixed on you. Her pretty face now twisted into a deep frown and you knew she was pissed. It was a stark contrast to the fake friendliness she’d shown you just a week ago at the grocery store.
“I didn’t fucking do anything, and I don’t want anything to do with him, so fuck off. Seriously. Maybe Jake’s right—he finally realized how much of a clingy piece of shit you are,” you shot back, frustration evident in your voice. You should have known that Karina would notice Heeseung missing from her side for a good portion of Friday night.
Karina’s expression hardened as she took a step closer, unyielding. “You’re such a shit liar. What did you do?”
“This is bullshit. Let’s fucking go,” Jake said, grabbing your arm and pulling you away. Neither of you wanted to spend another second there.
“You know he said I did it better than you, right?” Karina’s taunt was intended to provoke, and it did just that. You froze, feeling her words hit hard despite knowing she was just trying to get under your skin.
“C’mon, let’s go. Don’t fucking listen to her,” Jake urged, tugging you along again. As much as you tried to ignore her, her words had a lingering effect, and you hated that they got under your skin.
You didn’t care that this was your last year in college; you were convinced that you needed to transfer anywhere far away from here. There was no way you could endure a whole year of torment from Heeseung and Karina. As if to cement this decision, today seemed determined to be the worst day of your life. The moment you arrived at your apartment, rage surged through you when you saw who was waiting for you in front of your door.
“I’m going to fucking call security,” you instantly snapped, pulling your phone out of your back pocket.
Heeseung’s eyes went wide as his hands reached out in front of him. “Wait, wait, wait! Please, Y/N.”
You stared up at him, his eyes pleading with you to hear him out. Those bambi eyes always got to you, and this time was no different. With a roll of your eyes, you slowly put your phone down. “Okay, but I swear to God, if you try anything—”
“I swear I won’t! I promise, I just really need to talk to you. I’ve tried texting you, but I think you blocked me,” Heeseung said, sheepishly scratching the back of his head.
“Fine,” you muttered before walking past him, opening your apartment door, and stepping inside. You left the door open, signaling that he could come in, but he seemed hesitant, staring at the open door.
“Are you coming in or not?”
He blinked a couple of times, surprised that you were allowing him into your apartment, but he quickly followed you in and closed the door behind him. He hadn’t been inside in so long that it felt almost surreal. Everything looked exactly the same, and he found himself realizing that he had kind of missed being here.
“Wow, nothing’s changed,” Heeseung remarked, his tone revealing his surprise, especially as he noticed the photo of the two of you still on top of the kitchen counter.
You followed his gaze and felt heat rise to your face. You didn’t really know why you hadn’t taken it down. “Uh, yeah, I mean, I also haven’t been here for like three months, so I didn’t really have time to change anything.”
Heeseung nodded, but as his eyes trailed back to you, he found himself staring, forgetting his words. You were as gorgeous as ever, but it seemed that the time away had only made him realize how even more beautiful you were. 
“So, what did you want to talk about?” The air between the two of you was awkward, just like at the party however, seeing him sober during the day gave you a much clearer look at him, and you wanted to fucking die. You hated that effect he had on you. 
“Oh, yeah, sorry, uh, I just wanted to check up on you. Friday was kind of intense, and you ran off before I could say anything, so I was worried. I’m sorry for being so rough with you. I shouldn’t have done that.” Heeseung had been beating himself up over how he had treated you, so much so that he hadn’t talked to anyone all weekend despite his phone blowing up with messages from his friends.
“It’s fine. It was something we both wanted, and if anything, it’s on me. I kissed you first, so I’m sorry for that.”
Heeseung shook his head. “No, don’t be sorry, seriously it’s okay, but uhm, I also just wanted to make sure you knew that I wasn’t lying when I said I wasn’t dating Karina. I swear I’m not.”
Your brows furrowed as you recalled the incident in the library a couple of hours ago. “Well, does Karina know that?”
“What?” 
"She confronted me and Jake at the library, demanding to know what I did for you to ghost her all weekend." Heeseung frowned slightly at Jake’s name, and his frown deepened as he listened to what Karina had done. "From what it looks like, she seems to believe that your relationship is much more than whatever you’re saying it is."
“What the fuck? I swear we’re not together. I—” He stopped himself and sighed, realizing that to make you understand he was telling the truth, he had to tell you everything. “Fuck, I— Uh, shit, we’ve just been kind of hooking up, but I swear that’s all.”
He looked almost embarrassed admitting the nature of his and Karina’s relationship, and you could feel a part of your heart waver at what you heard. For him to admit out loud to you and confirm what you had thought was happening hurt despite you knowing that you didn’t have a right as you two weren’t together anymore.
“Oh, uh, okay.” You nodded as you quickly turned around and opened the fridge. You pretended to look around as if you meant to open the fridge before reaching to get the Brita out for water. You knew that if you faced him, the tear welling up in your eyes would pour down your face.
Heeseung went into a near-panic as he saw your reaction. Having dated you for over two years and known you for your entire life, he could tell you were upset. He noticed your shoulders tensing as you kept your back to him, looking into the fridge.
“Wait, wait, but I swear it’s nothing more than that, and I promise whatever happened between Karina and me is over. I don’t have any feelings for her—I never did. She was just there after you left, and it just happened,” he rushed to explain. But his words only seemed to make you feel worse as he continued to ramble.
“Why are you telling me this? You think this is going to make me want to get back with you?” You shook your head in annoyance, grabbing a glass from a cabinet and filling it with water from the Brita.
“No! I’m not trying to convince you of anything,” he said, now genuinely panicked. This was not how he intended the conversation to go.
“You know what she said?” 
“Huh?”
“Karina, you know what she said?” He slowly shook his head, clearly confused by where you were going with this.
“She said that you told her she did it better than I ever did,” you snapped, your anger evident as you stared him down.
His eyes widened in shock, and he scoffed in disbelief. “What the fuck! I’ve never said anything like that to her or to anyone, and it’s not fucking true.”
“What? So she’s just lying to get under my skin?” You were fuming, frustration etched across your face. “Karina’s a fucking bitch, but even she wouldn’t just make something like that up. You must’ve hinted at something for her to believe it.”
“No, no, no, I swear I haven’t said or done anything remotely like what she’s claiming. She’s a fucking liar,” Heeseung's anger flared as he defended himself, clearly outraged at Karina’s audacity.
“Well, it still doesn’t change the fact that you ran straight to her bed the second I was out of the country—literally one fucking day after we broke up!” You huffed, clearly pissed.
“Ok well don’t fucking act like you didn’t do the exact same with Jake. What the hell, Y/N? It isn’t my fault we broke up! You literally slept with one of my best friends!” Heeseung's frustration boiled over, clearly bewildered that you were still trying to act like you had no role in ending the relationship.
“I’ve told you a million times that I didn’t cheat on you with Jake! What more do I have to say for you to believe me?” You were fed up with defending yourself on this issue.
Heeseung rolled his eyes, “Honestly, aren’t you tired of keeping all this up? Beomgyu’s video and Karina along with everyone else hearing about you two should be enough proof.”
“Oh my fucking God! Jake went into the bathroom with me to help because I was puking my guts out. I drank way too much that night because I was so upset after seeing my fucking boyfriend cuddling with some other bitch all night! You’re genuinely a complete moron if you think Beomgyu and Karina are reliable sources. Beomgyu’s been a fucking asshole to me since freshman year because he’s still bitter that I refused to sleep with him, and Karina has wanted to get with you for as long as I can remember. Seriously, I thought you had at least some common sense in you!” You were yelling so loudly that your throat was already starting to feel raw.
Heeseung shook his head in disbelief. He had no idea Beomgyu had even tried to make a move on you, and now that he thought about it, he realized there had always been tension between the two of you. While he knew about Karina’s crush on him, he hadn’t thought she’d actually go as far as to lie about this. “Okay, well people still heard you two together.”
“Fucking hell, Heeseung, it was a house party with a hundred people. You really think anyone could hear anything over the music? You know what, whatever—believe what you want. There’s no point in trying to convince you otherwise. I’ve been honest with you the whole time, and it’s been you who’s been unwilling to listen. You dumped me without even considering my side, even though you were the one neglecting me during that last month before we broke up, spending all your time with Karina. Honestly, even if you’re telling the truth about not sleeping with her before we broke up, it doesn’t change the fact that you emotionally cheated. The number of dates you forgot or canceled to be with her, and how many times I saw you two together on campus when you said you were just hanging out with the guys. Whatever. It doesn’t matter anymore. We’re not together. Just get out.”
Tears streamed down your face, and you didn’t bother wiping them away. You wanted Heeseung to see the pain he had caused you.
Heeseung was at a loss for words as he saw the pain etched across your face. It broke his heart and he couldn’t help but start to realize that maybe there was a chance you were telling the truth and that he might be to blame for everything. He felt his heart crumble. “Y/N…”
You sniffed and shook your head. “Get out, Heeseung. I never want to see you again.”
It had been a week since Heeseung had gone over to your apartment, and every day since, he had been determined to find a way to make it up to you. He knew what your last words to him were, but there was no way he was going to let you go that easily, especially now that he realized he was most likely the one in the wrong and that Karina was a fucking bitch. He had come to that solid conclusion five days prior when he finally decided it was time to confront her.
“Oh my God, what the fuck? Seriously, where have you been? What happened? You literally just disappeared,” Karina ran over to him once she saw him at the café he told her to meet him at.
Even looking at her face made Heeseung want to vomit. “I heard what you did.”
Karina frowned, not understanding what he was saying as she took a seat across from him. “What do you mean?”
“Y/N told me about what you did at the library.” Heeseung tried his best to keep his tone even, attempting to mask the rage he was feeling toward her.
Karina nervously laughed, trying to brush it off. So, he was with you while he ghosted her. “Oh yeah, I ran into her and Jake trying to get it on at the back of the library. Isn’t that fucking insane, like in public like that?”
Heeseung wasn’t in any mood to entertain her. He was already at a boiling point. “Cut the fucking bullshit. She also told me what you said to her at the grocery store. I don’t know what I did to make you think that we’re dating, but we’re not. I don’t even remotely like you.”
“What?” Karina was taken aback by his words. Sure, Heeseung was never as affectionate and loving towards her as he was with you, but she thought she had made good progress in getting him to fall for her.
“Yeah, so I swear to God if I hear you telling anyone else that we’re dating, I will get a fucking restraining order. You have been nothing more than an easy lay for me to get my mind off Y/N this whole time. I let you hang around me because I felt bad, but that’s over now, especially since I realized you’ve been lying to everyone, including me, about everything.”
Karina’s face paled as she took in his words. She opened her mouth to say something, but he didn’t give her a chance. “Also, you’re delusional if you think you’re even comparable to Y/N, much less better than her. Go learn how to actually suck a dick before going around telling anyone that. Seriously, fuck off, and don’t ever talk to me or my friends again.”
Heeseung took off right after that, leaving Karina sitting alone at the table. It felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest as he stormed out of the cafe. Since then, he’d been planning a way to get you to hear him out. The only thing he could come up with was outsourcing, and in this case, that meant trying to reach you through the people you hung around.
It was a no-brainer that trying to talk to Ryujin and actually getting her to hear him out would be harder than getting you to talk to him again, so that was out of the question, which left him with only one other choice. 
Just standing in front of the apartment was making him pissed, but he knew this was probably his best bet. He let out a big sigh before knocking loudly. He waited a couple of seconds, and after a bit, he wondered if he should knock again, but before he could, the door opened.
“What the fuck?” 
Heeseung was the last person Jake would have expected to be on the other side of the door, and it caught him severely off guard.
Heeseung hadn’t seen Jake since he beat him at your mother’s garden party, and while it seemed that any previous marks left on his face from the fight were gone, Heeseung still felt bad. Okay, well, actually he didn’t feel that bad because he was still beyond pissed at Jake. Heeseung had by now come to the conclusion that you were most likely telling the truth about not cheating on him, but it still didn’t change the fact that Jake had fucked you who knows how many times after the two of you broke up.
Jake had always been a very close friend of his since childhood, and if Heeseung was being honest, in high school there were a good number of times when he couldn’t help but find himself envying his friend. It was kind of always known in your friend group that Heeseung had always had a tiny bit of a crush on you. So, when it became known that Jake had been the one to take your virginity, Heeseung was beyond crushed. In fact, he had avoided Jake for a good week, too envious of the fact that it wasn’t him who had been your first. But he was quickly able to get (mostly) over it as he couldn’t deny that he wasn’t surprised; you and Jake had always been the closest. But now, knowing that Jake had broken bro code made that resentment resurface, and he wasn’t sure if it was going away anytime soon (if ever).
“I need to talk to you,” Heeseung reluctantly said. 
“Fuck no,” Jake responded with a condescending laugh, shaking his head in disbelief.
Heeseung’s jaw tightened as he pleaded, “Jake, please.”
Jake stared him down, scrutinizing every aspect of him, clearly enjoying Heeseung's desperation. “Why? Y/N told me what happened on Monday. You’re a fucking asshole.”
“You don’t think I don’t know that? That’s why I’m here. Just let me in,” Heeseung said, his patience wearing thin.
“What’s in it for me?” Jake crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow. Heeseung could tell he was relishing the sight of him getting so desperate.
“You already got to fuck my girlfriend as many times as you wanted. Don’t you think that’s enough?” Heeseung gritted his teeth, his voice tight with anger.
Jake rolled his eyes but opened the door, letting Heeseung in. “You know she’s not your girlfriend anymore, right?”
If Heeseung wasn’t so determined to win you back, he would have had no issue punching Jake in the face again. But he needed Jake’s help, so he held back and tried his best it ignore him.
“I need your help,” Heeseung said, crossing his arms and facing Jake.
Jake barely glanced at him as he headed to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of what Heeseung assumed was a protein shake. He started to shake it, more focused on his drink, acting almost as if Heeseung wasn’t even there. “You’re funny if you think I’m going to help you with anything.”
Heeseung sighed once again, watching Jake’s dismissive attitude. God, Jake was such a dick. “I know I fucked up.”
“Yeah? Took you long enough to realize.” 
“I need help getting her back.” Jake let out a derisive snort that he didn’t even bother to hide.
“Holy shit, you’re delusional. What makes you think I’d help you?” Jake’s laughter was infuriating, and Heeseung started to regret coming here.
“Jake, I know what I did. I know there’s nothing that can fully make up for it, but I need Y/N back. I’m begging you, man, I need your help.” Heeseung’s pride was at rock bottom, but he didn’t care. If this was what he had to let go of to win back the love of his life, so be it.
“You literally cheated on her. Why the fuck would I help someone who cheated on her try to win her back? You don’t deserve her.” Heeseung couldn’t deny it anymore; he had emotionally cheated on you, whether he intended to or not and it sickened him to realize that he was responsible for your pain.
“I know I don’t deserve her, and I also realize what I did and how I’m responsible for everything. I know now that the last month before we broke up was terrible for her, and I was a complete asshole. I didn’t mean to hurt her; everything just spiraled so quickly that I didn’t have time to process it. I swear I’m not trying to make excuses—there aren’t any. But the last three months have been hell for me. You don’t understand how empty I’ve felt, how much it’s all hurt. Hearing that you two came back together from wherever you guys were fucked me up so badly that I ended up taking it out on you, and I’m sorry for that—it was fucked up. But what I’m trying to say is that this whole summer has made me realize just how much I need her. Seeing her again has only made that clearer. I should have listened to her that night, but I was so blinded by anger about you two that I lost control, and you have no idea how much I fucking regret it. Talking to her last week made me see just how badly I fucked up, and I guess I was too caught up in Karina’s lies to accept the truth. I know I don’t deserve her, but please, I just need one last chance to make things right.” Heeseung’s sincerity was evident in every word, and Jake could tell that this was something Heeseung had been tormenting himself over for a while.
“I don’t know what you want me to do,” Jake said honestly. “I don’t even know how I can help. This is between you two.”
He hadn’t expected Heeseung to lay everything out so openly, and he was a bit taken aback. But Jake still struggled to fully support Heeseung. He knew how miserable and broken you had been after the breakup, and he wasn’t sure he could let you go through something like that again.
“I just need her to know that I’m sorry and to hear me out just once more. I know I don’t deserve it, but please. This was all I thought about this entire week, and I don’t know what else to do. I mean I came all the way over here to you of all people because of how desperate I am. I know you don’t owe me anything, especially after everything, but please, I’m begging you. Help me out, man.” Heeseung’s eyes were filled with desperation, and Jake let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.
“Is Karina still in the picture?” 
“Fuck no, and I made sure she understood. She’s literally the worst mistake I ever made, and I should’ve known better. I just didn’t think she’d take it this far, but I swear, there was nothing between us to begin with. She just caught me at a vulnerable time and took advantage of it. I fully acknowledge the mess I made in the month leading up to Y/N and me breaking up, and I know it’s probably too late now, but please, Jake. Y/N is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You of all people should know that, so I can’t just let this go without trying one more time.” 
Heeseung couldn’t even lift his head to face Jake anymore, his eyes focused on his trembling fingers. The shame of his actions weighed heavily on him, and admitting it all out loud took a lot out of him.
A few seconds of silence passed, and Heeseung assumed Jake was deliberating. With each passing second, his anxiety spiked, and he desperately wished Jake would say something, anything.
“Fuck, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but okay,” Jake said, his tone heavy with disbelief. Heeseung’s head snapped up, his eyes wide with shock. “There’s no guarantee this will even work, but I’ll try something. Just know that I’m not taking this lightly. If you mess it up again, I’ll fucking kill you. I’m not kidding. The moment I see Karina anywhere near you, you’re dead. I’m only doing this because I know how much you meant to her and how miserable she’s been without you.”
Heeseung’s smile stretched so wide it made his cheeks hurt, but he didn’t care. “Thank you so much. Seriously, thank you, man. I really owe you.”
“Yeah, whatever,” Jake said, rolling his eyes at how excited Heeseung was. “But if Y/N isn’t having it, there’s literally nothing else I can do. So don’t get your hopes up.”
“No, I get it. Seriously, thank you so much. And I’m genuinely sorry for everything. It was fucked up for me to fight you like that.” Heeseung wasn’t sure if things with their friend group would ever return to normal, but he’d be lying if he denied that he missed having his friends around. A small bit of him kind of hoped this might be a step in the right direction of maybe getting everything back to normal.
“Yeah, whatever. I guess I kind of deserved it for sleeping with your girl,” Jake said with a hint of sarcasm.
Okay, maybe Heeseung wasn’t entirely fine with Jake being around like before as he felt one of his eyes twitch in irritation at the reminder of Jake being in your bed all summer, but he pushed the thought aside. “Just don’t make it a habit.”
“We’ll see. Don’t fuck it up.”
Heeseung felt another twitch in his eye. Maybe he wasn’t entirely over the idea of killing Jake Sim.
You had been sort of in a weird state of limbo where it seemed that a part of you was still wallowing in the sadness that came after the whole fight with Heeseung in your apartment but also there was also a part of you that was just kind of irritated with everything and you weren’t sure how to get yourself free from this state.
And it seemed the latter was taking over your current state as you let out a grunt of frustration as you attempted to hit the ball over the net, only for it to get caught and cause you to lose. Shouts of amusement came from across the court as you sneered in annoyance.
“Ha! Dinner’s on you! Oh, princess you fucking suck at this.” Jake was a little too happy about your loss as he giggled around the court. 
Sweat drenched the both of you as the setting sun’s heat blazed relentlessly down the two of you. “You know that I’m usually good! You’re just better today I guess.” 
You sheepishly shrugged before chugging your water from your water bottle on the side, the cold liquid instantly quenching your thirst. You were so ready to leave and get food.
“You just got unlucky that Sunghoon wasn’t here. There’s no doubt he’d be buying dinner. I’ve never seen someone worse at pickleball than he is.” You both let out a small laugh thinking about your mutual friend and his lack of athleticism. 
"Yeah, honestly, I know he said he was sick or something, but I bet he just said that to dodge paying for dinner," you muttered, tossing your keys at Jake after packing up your paddle and balls. "You're driving, though."
He caught the keys without protest, shrugging as he followed you to the car. After unlocking it, he slid into the driver’s seat, immediately grimacing. “Jesus, what the fuck is this seat positioning?”
“Leave me alone, it’s my car,” you rolled your eyes, watching as he adjusted the seat to his liking.
“Too nice of a car for such a shitty driver like you,” he snorted, making you gasp in offense.
But before you could fire anything back, he quickly switched the subject. "So, who's Ryujin going on a date with tonight?"
"Some new European exchange student, I think his name’s Armand? Not sure, but I’m pretty sure he’s French."
"Where the hell is she finding all these European guys?" Jake shook his head. 
Pickleball was usually a doubles match with you, Jake, Sunghoon, and Ryujin, but Sunghoon had bailed, claiming he was sick (though you weren’t convinced), and Ryujin was off on her date.
"I think he's in her finance class—or at least that’s what Yujin said. But yeah, she clearly has a type," you snorted, sending Ryujin a quick text to see how the date was going.
"That’s an understatement. I’m surprised she got over Louis that fast. And how the hell does Yujin still know everything about everyone despite being abroad for a whole semester?"
The circle you and your family had always been surrounded by was small, a natural outcome of the exclusive lifestyle the upper echelon of society led—one not easily accessible to just anyone. This circle was even tighter at your school, where everyone with status seemed to gravitate. As soon as someone new entered the fold, it took only a few days for word to spread, and soon enough, everyone knew everything about them, especially if they came from a similarly privileged background. So it was no surprise that even after studying abroad in Italy for 6 months, Yujin still managed to stay in the loop.
“You know you don’t actually have to be on campus to keep up with everything,” you sighed, rolling your eyes. 
It was frustrating, sometimes even invasive, to know that every move you made was watched and analyzed, but it seemed to be the price you and your friends paid for the lives you led.
Jake hummed in agreement, and for a few moments, the car was uncharacteristically quiet. It was unusual—Jake was never one to keep his mouth shut, so his silence could only mean one thing.
"Ugh, what?" you groaned, turning your phone off and shifting your focus to his profile.
Jake shot you a brief look of confusion before turning his attention back to the road. "What?"
"Just spit it out." You knew all too well that when Jake went quiet, it meant he was holding back something important—and more often than not, it wasn’t good news.
He gave you another glance, this one doing nothing to ease the knot forming in your stomach, before letting out a long sigh. "So, the other day, someone came to see me."
You raised an eyebrow, sensing that he was trying to drag this out. It couldn’t be good. "Oh my God, just tell me already. Who was it?"
Jake took a few more seconds before finally answering. “Heeseung.”
Your ex’s name was the last thing you expected to hear. “What?”
“Yeah, someone knocked, and when I opened the door, there he was, just standing there.” Jake’s slow pace was driving you insane—you just wanted him to get to the point.
“Just tell me what he wanted. Did he try to fight you again? Because I swear to God—”
“No! No, it wasn’t anything like that. He didn’t come to start anything; he just asked for a favor.” Jake nervously bit his lip, his fingers drumming against the steering wheel. He clearly didn’t want to tell you what Heeseung was really after.
“Jake, just get to the fucking point. What did he ask for?” 
“Okay fine, he wanted me to talk to you about maybe hearing him out again.” Jake grimaced as he revealed Heeseung's request, sensing that the silence on your end was not a good sign. “Ugh, please Y/N, say something.”
You didn’t know if you should be fuming or surprised. Maybe both. “What did you say?”
Your calm tone caught Jake off guard as he turned into the Thai restaurant you’d chosen for dinner, parking before facing you. “Okay, you can’t be mad, but I agreed.”
Your mouth opened in protest, anger filling your eyes, but he rushed on before you could interrupt. “Just listen. You know me—I wouldn’t agree to something like this, especially with him, unless I really thought he deserved it. After I listened to him, I could see how genuine he was. I know he was a dick on Monday, but he came to me desperate and genuinely sorry. He wouldn’t have approached me of all people if he wasn’t serious.I know how much he hurt you, but I also see how unhappy you are without him. This might not be the worst thing for you two. Plus, Karina’s definitely out of the picture—Heeseung looked furious talking about her and promised he wouldn’t associate with her again.”
You processed everything slowly, staring at Jake. “He hurt me so bad,” was all you could manage as you shook your head, struggling to accept what your best friend was telling you.
Jake’s eyes softened at your reaction. “I know, Y/N. He’s still a total asshole, but deep down, you know that not having him around hurts even more. I didn’t promise him anything, and I won’t ever force you to talk to him. Honestly, if I had my way, I’d keep him far away from you. But I know you, and I see how badly all this unresolved feeling is fucking with you. I don’t want that for you. So just know this is an option. It doesn’t have to be now, or next week, or even this month. But if you ever feel ready to talk to him again—especially now that it seems like you both understand what happened—he’s willing to apologize. I’ll even be there with you if you want.”
Jake was right, and you hated that. Deep down, you knew this unresolved pain would eat you alive. Heeseung had always been part of your life, and having him ripped away, even for just a couple of months, was agonizing. You didn’t know if you could just cut him out completely, so you slowly nodded. “Okay.”
Heeseung honestly had little faith that Jake would keep his promises, but he still held onto a sliver of hope. Yet, as the weeks passed with no word from you, that hope began to dwindle. After a month had gone by without any communication, he was on the verge of accepting that he had ruined the most important thing in his life. Just as he was about to let it go, fortune finally smiled on him: he spotted you outside, nervously biting your lip as you waited for his class to end. A grin spread across his face the moment your eyes met, and he walked toward you.
“Hey,” he greeted softly.
His smile made your heart race, and it was annoying to realize that he still had that effect on you after everything that had happened. “Hey, I was wondering if you were busy. I think I’m ready to talk.”
Heeseung mentally noted to give Jake the biggest thank you ever. Despite his doubts about Jake's ability to follow through, he couldn't be more grateful to be proven wrong.
“Yeah, of course. This is my last class of the day,” he said, eagerly nodding as you both walked out of the building.
“Oh great, I wasn’t sure about your schedule, so I was just hoping I got lucky and you were free.” The awkward tension between you was palpable. “Do you want to grab lunch? I can drive if you didn’t.”
“Yeah, that sounds perfect. Jay drove us today, but I’ll just text him that he doesn’t have to worry about me.” Heeseung couldn’t help the smile spreading across his face. It was amazing how much your presence lifted his spirits. You were like a ray of sunshine, and just being able to look at you felt pretty fucking incredible.
You shot him a small smile before nodding, leading him to your car. “Okay, perfect.”
The ride to the restaurant was quiet, with barely any words exchanged until you both placed your orders.
Knowing that silence would make everything feel pointless, you mustered the courage to clear your throat and initiate the conversation. “Jake told me you really wanted to talk to me again.”
Heeseung nodded without hesitation. “Yeah, I’m not going to lie, I really didn’t think he’d actually help, but I’m so glad he did. I hope you didn’t feel forced or anything—that’s the last thing I want. If you ever feel that way during this conversation, I would completely understand if you just walked away.”
You nodded, recognizing the sincerity in his words. It gave you reassurance about his intentions. “I wasn’t forced or anything, but it did take some time. Honestly, I didn’t want to hear you out again, especially since last time ended badly. But I’ve had time to think, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to do this, at least for myself, to move forward from everything.”
“I’m really glad you gave me a chance to talk to you again. Y/N, I know this might not mean much to you, but I truly want to say I’m sorry.” Heeseung sighed before continuing, “I’ve had time to reflect on everything, and I’ve realized that what I did was unfair to you and hurt you in ways I never intended. None of this was your fault, and I’m so sorry for putting you through that.”
Hearing those words felt like a wave of relief washed over your aching heart. It was as if you had been yearning to hear him acknowledge your pain, and his sincere apology felt like a crucial step toward healing. Yet, one lingering question held you back.
“Why did you do it?” you asked softly, almost afraid to voice it. You noticed Heeseung’s eyes soften at your words.
He sat in silence, contemplating your question. Why had he abandoned you during the last month of your relationship?
“I’m not sure,” he blinked, his brow furrowing in distress. “I know that’s not a good enough answer, but honestly, I don’t even think I understand it myself. I really don’t want this to sound like an excuse, but I didn’t realize what was happening until it was too late. That project consumed so much of my time, and unfortunately, that meant spending all those hours with Karina. It became a routine, and I thought it would help me finish the class with a good grade. I never stopped to consider if Karina had ulterior motives, and I’m so sorry—I never thought about how this would affect you.”
You were unsure how to process his words, but you appreciated his honesty and let him continue. “I didn’t mean to blow you off or prioritize the project, which ended up meaning prioritizing Karina over you. That was never my intention. I hope you understand that I never saw her as a replacement or thought she was better than you in any way, especially not romantically. I swear nothing happened between us until after you left for your trip. Even then, I was just so angry, and she happened to be there. She was only an outlet for my frustration, and I know that’s probably not what you want to hear, but I can’t deny that something happened. I just need you to know that aside from the physical, there was nothing else with her.”
Heeseung grimaced as he admitted all this. The weight of his actions felt unbearable, and when he saw your face—so sad, struggling to hold it together—it made him feel even worse. He hated that he was the cause of your pain.
You nodded slowly, your chest tightening as you absorbed his words and another sigh left your mouth. “That last month was so unbearable for me. It was literally hell. You have no idea how many nights I spent blaming myself, thinking I drove you to another girl. But what hurt even more was the aftermath. I’ve known you for so long, and I never realized how much you meant to my life until you were just… gone. I felt so lost without you.”
“It was the same for me. Y/N, you’ve been the love of my life since we were kids. You’ve always been my dream and literally everyone around us knows how much you’ve always meant to me. I’ve dated around and hooked up with other people but at the end of the day, I just kept coming back to you. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. You’re my home. That’s why I had to take this chance—to see you again, to beg you to hear me out one last time.” His voice trembled, and a tear slipped down your cheek as you felt the weight of his desperation. Your heart ached, torn between the pain of the past and the flicker of hope in his eyes.
He reached over to take your hand in his, the warmth of his familiar touch sending a jolt through you. A small, hopeful smile broke through his anxiety. “I love you, Y/N. I truly believe you’re it for me. But if you need me to let you go, I’ll do it. I’d do anything to see you happy.”
“Heeseung…” The words barely escaped your lips before tears started streaming down your cheeks. You couldn’t hold back your emotions, even in this crowded place. His confession pierced through the defenses you had built, reaching deep into the empty spaces you didn’t even know existed. You remembered all the pain he had caused, the scars still fresh, and yet, despite everything, he was still your Heeseung. Your heart ached with the undeniable truth that he was your destined other half, and you couldn’t bring yourself to let him go completely.
In that moment, amidst the whirlwind of your emotions, the right path became unmistakably clear. You took a deep breath, feeling the weight of your feelings shift into something resolute. With trembling hands, you squeezed his. This wasn’t just about forgiveness; it was about embracing the possibility of healing together. “I can’t let you go, not now,” you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. “Let’s find our way back.”
No one had ever warned you how difficult it truly was to rebuild something broken, even with someone you’d known your entire life. But now, standing on the other side of that struggle, as you watched the pieces of your relationship with Heeseung slowly fall back into place, you realized that every effort had been worth it. The awkward silences, the tentative steps, and the raw vulnerability—it had all led to this unexpected peace. Months ago, you would’ve laughed if someone told you not only that you’d be back together, but that you’d be more in love with Heeseung than ever before. Yet, against all odds, here you were—more sure of him, more connected, and somehow, more in love than you ever thought possible.
It had been two weeks since that lunch, two weeks since you both decided to give things another shot. Although hesitation still hung between you, trust was slowly rebuilding, and you could feel the progress with every passing day. The real breakthrough came when you got solid proof that Karina was no longer a looming threat. It seemed that Heeseung’s rejection hit her harder than anyone expected, leading her to pack up and flee to her family’s summer home in Lake Como. Word spread quickly that she was taking a semester off to “heal” from all the so-called negative toxicity, but honestly, you couldn’t care less. And it seemed that it wasn’t just you—everyone in your circle seemed to be rejoicing the second her plane left the tarmac, collectively exhaling as though they’d been holding their breath for months. Her departure felt like the final nail in the coffin of a drama that had dragged on far too long, and for the first time in a while, you felt truly free from the chaos.
You and Heeseung had agreed to take things slow, both afraid to fuck up the fragile foundation of your newly rekindled relationship. While you often found yourself holding back more than you were used to, the fresh start was also exciting, like falling in love all over again. The honeymoon phase was in full swing, and honestly, you were soaking it up. So much so that it seemed your entire friend group—finally restored, thank God (you were sure you’d even seen Jay shed a tear when he was reunited with Sunghoon)—was playfully revolting at how inseparable you and Heeseung had become. But despite the jokes, everyone was genuinely thrilled to see you two back together. Even the soft launch on Instagram stirred enough commotion that your mom called, confused. But you didn’t care about anyone’s reactions, because for the first time in a long time, you were truly happy.
“I’m surprised your little purse dog isn’t with you,” Yujin’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts as she appeared out of nowhere, making you jump.
“What?” You shot her a confused look.
“Heeseung! He’s like your own little purse dog these days. I don’t think I’ve seen you two apart since you got back together,” she teased, giving you a smug grin before snatching your drink from your hand and taking a big swig.
You snatched it right back, rolling your eyes. “That is not true!”
But the grin on your face betrayed you—you knew exactly what she meant.
Your half-hearted attempts to deny her claims were cut short when yet another voice chimed in, startling you once again. "Nah, Yujin's right. You two are capital C clingy."
"Stop sneaking up on me!" you groaned, shaking your head at both Ryujin and Yujin. They, of course, found your irritation hilarious. Before you could protest further, Ryujin also reached over and grabbed your drink, taking a long sip without hesitation.
"Oh my God, just take it!" you exclaimed, shaking your head in disbelief. You turned to grab a fresh cup, already resigned to making yourself another drink.
"But seriously, where is Heeseung?" Ryujin asked, glancing around the packed house, her eyes scanning the crowd for your boyfriend.
Jake had thrown a party to celebrate Karina’s dramatic exit, and it seemed like everyone you knew had shown up. His place was absolutely massive so it was insane to see the entire place bursting with people, not a single corner empty.
You shrugged as you added ice to your drink. "Not sure, I saw Jay dragging him out to the pool. I think they’re playing beer pong. You guys do realize we haven’t been together every second, right?”
Yujin scoffed. "You sure about that?t At least from what I’ve been seeing I’m having a hard time believing that."
“Yeah, babe, I don’t think there’s been a single day this week you haven’t been with him,” Ryujin added. But when she noticed a slight frown tugging at your lips, she quickly backpedaled. “But that’s not a bad thing! You guys are back together, and honestly, you seem so much happier and more in love. We’re happy for you.”
Yujin nodded in agreement. “Yeah, it’s cute. Almost sickeningly so. But seriously, we’re all just glad you two are happy again.”
Right on cue, you felt a familiar arm wrap around your waist from behind. You knew instantly who it was. “Aww, that’s so sweet, Yujin. Glad we have your support,” Heeseung teased, reaching out to fist-bump her.
"Were you out playing beer pong?" you asked, glancing up at Heeseung.
He nodded with a grin. "Yeah, Sunghoon and I absolutely annihilated Jay and Jake. Those two suck every single time, but they keep teaming up like they’ve got something to prove. Not that I’m complaining—it just means we keep winning. The loser had to admit the other’s dog was better, and Sunghoon had Jake practically in tears, saying Gaeul was superior to Layla. It was almost cruel. Layla’s literally upstairs, and he ran right up to apologize to her."
Ryujin snorted. "You guys are such kids. What kind of punishment even is that?"
"Hey, I’ll have you know that when it comes to Gaeul, I’d put my fucking life on the line for her!" Sunghoon appeared out of nowhere, clearly having overheard the mention of his beloved dog.
"Yeah, don’t mess with his dog. It’s, like, actually serious for him," Heeseung added, backing up his friend with a smirk.
You couldn’t help but smile. It felt so good to have everyone back together, the easy banter flowing like it always had. The boys, especially, had clearly missed each other. Things were a bit tense between Heeseung and Jake at first, but once Sunghoon and Jay rejoined the group, it felt like no time had passed at all. Of course, Heeseung wasted no time making it clear that you were off-limits now, even threatening that he’d shave Jake’s hair off if he so much as thought about crossing that line—and judging by Jake’s face, it was a threat he took seriously.
As Sunghoon passionately defended his dog, you felt Heeseung's arm tighten around your waist. He leaned in, his breath hot against your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. “I don’t know about you, but I can think of something way better than listening to Sunghoon go on about his dog’s honor,” he whispered, his voice laced with mischief. “How about we check out one of the way-too-many bedrooms upstairs?”
The suggestion came with that familiar cheeky tone, and you didn’t need any convincing. Without a word, the two of you quietly slipped away from the group, who were still caught up in their conversation about pets. Heeseung was right—there were far too many rooms in this house, but luckily you knew exactly where to find a quiet, empty one.
Your body hadn’t even fully crossed the threshold before Heeseung captured your lips with a fervor you hadn’t felt since Hyunjin’s party. When you said that you and Heeseung were committed to taking your relationship slowly, you truly meant it. Sure, the two of you had made it to third base, but you had intentionally held back from rushing into sex, wanting to protect the delicate balance of your relationship. Yet, in that moment, it was clear that neither of you was opposed to going all the way. You both had been holding back for far too long.
Shutting the door behind you, he slammed you flat against the it as his tongue explored inside your mouth. You were panting against his lips as you reached for his clothes. It was obvious neither of you were particularly interested in taking it slow. 
“God you’re so fucking hot,” Heeseung didn't hold back his groan as his hand pulled your top over your breasts and cupped one in his hand, groping it as he deepened the kiss. You scratched a hand against the nape of his neck eliciting another low groan from him while his lips trailed down from your lips down to your neck. His touches had never felt better and you were yearning to feel him closer and deeper. 
While his lips worked their way down, you didn’t waste any time pulling your leather pants down, revealing the same pair of black thongs that you had been wearing the last time the two of you had sex and Heeseung groaned against your skin once he realized. 
“Fuck, you’re going to be the death of me.” You giggled at his response and quickly tugged him towards the bed, leaving behind a trail of clothes as the two of you continued to get rid of your clothes until you were left bare. 
Your hands firmly gripped his shoulders once he had finally stripped and you pushed him down on the bed as you also went down on your knees. His mouth was slightly agape as his eyes twinkled at the realization of what was happening.
“I’ve missed your cock so bad,” you purred before letting a wad of spit fall from your mouth and straight on his rock-hard dick. 
His eyes instantly rolled back when your hands wrapped themselves around his length and worked their way up and down, adopting a steady tempo. Your eyes never left his face as you held a determined look in your eyes, eager to please him.
“Fuck, just like that,” Heeseung barely managed to pant out as his eyes connected with yours.
You couldn’t hold back a smile. Knowing that your touches had him falling apart like this in pleasure had you growing overcome with lust. There was not a better sight than the one in front of you and you couldn’t break away from witnessing his every reaction even as you slowly started to lick his tip. 
He was panting hard as he watched you lick up and down his shaft before swirling your tongue around his sensitive tip that was dripping with precum. And when you sunk down, allowing his dick to find its place in your warm tight throat, his hands went straight to the back of your head, pushing you further down and inciting you to choke on his length.
It’d been a while since you’d deep-throated anything and you felt the tears instantly prick at your eyes as you gagged around his thick cock. You concentrated hard, closing your eyes to ease your throat as you slowly started to bob your head.
Saliva escaped down the corners of your mouth as the tears were now fully escaping your eyes. The filthy sounds of you gagging filled the room along with Heeseung’s deep grunts. His hands were fully pushing your head down as he thrust up, yearning for you to take him deeper. You tried your best to swallow around his as you searched for air, but he was relentless and pushed you until you couldn’t take anymore and had to slap the sides of his thighs for respite. 
 “Jesus Christ, Heeseung!” You gasped for air before coughing when he finally let you go, realizing how brutal he had been treating your throat.
“Shit, sorry,” his eyes were wide as he reached for your face, pushing your sweat-drenched hair away from your face. “It’s been so long and you felt so good, I’m so sorry-”
“Shut up,” you shook your head as you pushed him back on the bed. You ignored his apologies and quickly got on top of him, ignoring the fact that you had just been brutally choking on your boyfriend’s dick.
You were already dripping wet and Heeseung’s eyes couldn’t take his eyes away from your glistening pussy hovering over his dick. His hands guided themselves to your hips and you slowly teased him as you rubbed the tip of his dick at your entrance. 
“Please,” he pleaded desperately and that was all you needed to hear before you slowly sunk yourself down his length.
The two of you let out groans and you couldn’t help but heavily pant as you went lower, feeling him deeper in you. You felt so full that it felt like you could feel him all the way up your throat. Heeseung was massive and despite having loads of experience riding him, every time it felt like almost too much for you as your body felt like it was being stretched beyond its limit.
“Fuck, you’re too big,” you whimpered as you felt your body slumping over his, trying your best to get adjusted to his side. 
His mouth found yours as he passionately kissed you while his hands found your breasts, rolling your nipples between his fingers. “You’re taking me so well princess.”
As he praised you, you found yourself slowly attempting to move your hips and before you knew it, you were moaning against his lips as you moved up and down his length. The pleasure was overwhelming and you couldn’t stop. The stretch still stung, but the pleasure that came with it was more than anything you could’ve asked for.
“Heeseung,” you moaned out loudly as his hips thrust up to meet yours, forcing you to feel him deeper.
The room was filled with your wanton moans that didn’t stop chanting his name and the sounds of his balls slapping roughly against your pussy. His grunts were getting animalistic and before you knew it, he had flipped the two of you over changing the position and taking over. 
‘Oh my God!” You screeched as he moved your legs to hang over his shoulders, causing the new position to allow him to reach you deeper if that was even possible.
He relentlessly pounded against your sweet spot, “You feel so fucking good. Perfect pussy made just for me.”
His dirty talk had you whimpering and you found yourself reaching down for your clit quickly rubbing it, helping you reach your orgasm faster. 
“I’m almost there don’t stop,” you instructed, and with a couple more hard thrusts, you found yourself loudly crying out as you found yourself reaching your peak. 
You clung to him tightly as you rode out your orgasm and could feel him twitch inside you before also cumming closely after. He filled you to the brim with his cum as you limply laid there taking everything he gave you. Once he was finished, he slowly pulled out inciting a small whimper from you and you could feel all his cum slowly pouring out of you and down your leg. 
Heeseung, seemingly just as worn out as you were, plopped right next to you before pulling you close to him, cuddling you. A huge smile formed on your face as you turned your head to face him and kiss him, someone pounded on the door.
“You two are so fucked for that! You do realize Layla’s room is right next door!” 
Bonus:
It was unbelievable how fast time had flown, especially now, standing with all your closest friends in matching caps and gowns. You couldn’t help but marvel at the fact that you’d all made it through college in one piece, still tight-knit as ever. It was almost enough to bring you to tears—if you weren’t so distracted by how uncomfortable your dress had become under your gown. You kept fidgeting, trying to adjust it for a bit of relief.
“Stop wrinkling your dress!” your mother scolded, while busy straightening Jake’s tie.
“But no one’s even going to see the tie under the gown,” Jake whined, only for your mom to shoot him a stern look that silenced him immediately as she returned to perfecting his outfit.
True to her word, your mom had finally gotten Jake head to toe in one of her custom pieces (minus the cap and gown). “I don’t care if anyone sees it or not. You are not wearing one of my designs without it being flawless,” she insisted, focused on making sure everything was perfect.
You could hear the quiet snickers behind you, and without even turning around, you knew Sunghoon and Ryujin were loving every second of this. They had already survived your mother’s meticulous once-over and were now relishing in watching the rest of you squirm under her scrutiny.
"Yeah, come on Jake, stop being so fussy. You should be grateful she's even doing this for you," Heeseung chimed in, grinning. His playful jab at Jake was laced with just enough sweetness to win over your mom—or at least, that was the plan.
Your mom still hadn’t entirely forgiven Heeseung for the disaster he caused at her garden party, and her approval of your rekindled relationship was, at best, tentative. But it was clear she was slowly warming up, especially with the way Heeseung never missed a chance to flatter her.
“Alright, now you look presentable. Don’t you dare mess with it during the ceremony,” your mom finally declared, stepping back to give Jake a final once-over. She then turned her sharp gaze on the rest of you, making sure everyone else met her high standards.
You exchanged a glance with Sunghoon and Ryujin, who were both barely holding in their laughter. They clearly found your mom’s unofficial role as wardrobe enforcer far more amusing from the sidelines.
“Oh, you all look so beautiful,” your mother said, her smile softening in a way you weren’t used to. The warmth in her gaze caught you off guard, and suddenly, the stuffiness of your dress was the last thing on your mind. As your eyes met hers, the reality of the moment hit you—graduation day, surrounded by your closest friends, all of you about to step into the next chapter of your lives. You could feel the emotions welling up, tears prickling at the corners of your eyes as you took in the sight of everyone in their caps and gowns.
Heeseung, as if sensing your shift in mood, gently tugged your hand into his, threading your fingers together. He squeezed your hand and gave you a reassuring smile, grounding you just when you needed it most.
“Come on, let’s take a picture before we leave,” you suggested, grabbing Heeseung's hand and motioning to your friends.
Your group huddled close, arms draped over each other, laughter bubbling up as your mom snapped away on her phone. Heeseung’s arm stayed firmly around your waist, keeping you close while you smiled for the camera. The joy of the moment, the closeness of your friends, felt like the perfect snapshot of how far you had all come.
As soon as the last picture was taken, everyone started to drift toward the stadium for the commencement ceremony. You watched as the crowd began to gather under the soft glow of the setting sun. After a quick hug and goodbye to your mom, you turned to follow your friends toward the entrance gates.
Just before you could step through the gates, Heeseung gently pulled you aside, his fingers brushing your arm. He leaned in close, his breath warm against your ear as he whispered, “I couldn’t have done any of this without you. I’m proud of us.”
His words made your heart swell, emotions bubbling up in a way that almost took your breath away. You looked up at him, your smile soft and full of everything you’d been through together. “I am too,” you whispered back, a mixture of relief and joy filling your chest. “We made it.”
The air was cool, a gentle breeze lifting the corners of your graduation gown as you looked at Heeseung, remembering how uncertain things had once seemed. But now? Everything felt like it was finally falling into place. The obstacles and heartbreak had only made you both stronger.
As the sun began to set, Heeseung took your hand again, just like in the room earlier. This time, though, he brought it to his lips, brushing a light kiss across your knuckles before pulling you closer.
“I love you,” he said quietly, and it wasn’t a grand declaration—just a simple truth that felt completely genuine.
“I love you too,” you answered, your heart full.
Standing there, wrapped in each other’s arms, the future didn’t seem so intimidating anymore. It was uncertain, sure, but with Heeseung beside you, you felt ready for whatever was next.
TAGLIST: @notevenheretbh1 @leov3rse @slut4hee @llvrhee @simjungwon @lhspeachie @sakanelli-afc @rayofsunshineeee @deobitifull @iwaplant @mheretoreadff @farashawhee @skzenhalove @venfl-ifw @jaehoonii @melonvrs @enhastolemyheart @rainyjy @cha0thicpisces @love-be0m @niniissus
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s7my · 3 months ago
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H O W N E P T U N E C L O U D S Y O U R C L A R I T Y 🌁
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neptune in astrology is tied to dreams, illusions, and blurred lines. when it aspects other planets, it can soften clarity, making things feel more emotional, idealized, or confusing. it doesn’t lie, but it makes reality feel foggy; beautiful or heartbreaking, but hard to pin down. depending on the planet, it can bring deep intuition or escapism, creativity or confusion. ☁️🌪️
☉ sun-neptune
when neptune touches your sun, your sense of identity can be unclear or hard to define. you may struggle with self-doubt, not because you lack confidence, but because you’re constantly unsure of who you really are or who you’re supposed to be. you might absorb expectations from others without realizing it, which leads to shapeshifting in different settings. it’s easy to lose yourself in roles, relationships, or goals that don’t feel solid. people might think you’re inspirational or mysterious, but internally you may feel directionless or vague. the challenge here is finding a sense of self that isn’t built on other people’s projections or unrealistic ideals.
☽ moon-neptune
this aspect often makes emotional boundaries weak. you feel everything, even things that aren’t yours. you might have grown up in an environment where emotions weren’t clearly expressed, or where confusion and avoidance were common. now, you may struggle to trust your emotional instincts because you’re used to second-guessing yourself. sometimes you cope through fantasy, detachment, or checking out emotionally. you might be drawn to art, music, or helping others, but the real work is learning what you actually feel vs what you’ve absorbed from others.
☿ mercury-neptune
communication gets tricky here. your thinking might be creative, abstract, or nonlinear, but when you try to explain it, it doesn’t always come out clearly. people might misunderstand you or say you’re being vague, even when you feel like you're being real. sometimes, you avoid conflict by being indirect, or you say what others want to hear just to keep things peaceful. at worst, this can lead to misinformation or people not trusting what you say. on the flip side, you’re great at understanding nuance and reading between the lines. just make sure you’re not filling in blanks with wishful thinking.
♀ venus-neptune
relationships can be a blind spot. you want connection, but you’re more likely to fall for potential than reality. you might ignore red flags or put people on a pedestal without realizing it, especially when you’re emotionally invested. you crave a kind of closeness that feels deep and healing, but if you're not careful, that can turn into emotional codependency or chasing unavailable people. this aspect can also affect how you handle money or aesthetics. your taste might be refined or artistic, but decision-making can be inconsistent. clarity in love and finances is something you learn over time.
♂ mars-neptune
your drive and motivation aren’t consistent. some days you’re inspired, and other days it’s hard to even get started. you might avoid confrontation, not because you’re weak, but because direct conflict feels overwhelming or pointless to you. when you do act, it’s often based on emotion or instinct more than logic. that can make you seem spontaneous or unreliable. there’s also a chance of drifting into passivity, where you wait for motivation instead of building habits. the key here is figuring out what you truly care about so your actions aren’t just reactive or based on vague desires.
♃ jupiter-neptune
you tend to have big dreams or ideals, but following through on them isn’t always consistent. optimism can tip into unrealistic thinking, especially around beliefs, future goals, or trusting people too easily. you might take spiritual or philosophical ideas too far without grounding them in everyday experience. there’s a genuine desire to grow and understand the world, but sometimes you bypass hard truths in favor of feel-good narratives. learning to question your assumptions and stay critical helps you stay grounded, especially in areas of education, spirituality, or leadership.
♄ saturn-neptune
this aspect creates a push-pull between structure and surrender. on one hand, you crave stability; on the other, you fear rigidity or being boxed in. you might set unrealistic goals for yourself, then feel crushed when they don’t go as planned. or, you avoid responsibility altogether because the pressure feels unbearable. there can be a lot of guilt or self-doubt tied to your sense of discipline, as if no matter what you do, it’s never enough. this usually shows up in career, authority issues, or how you set boundaries. the lesson is learning to work steadily without losing touch with your values or reality.
♅ uranus-neptune
you’re drawn to unconventional or progressive ideas, but your sense of what’s real and what’s visionary can blur. sometimes you take risks without fully thinking them through because you get swept up in the excitement of change or rebellion. you might idealize freedom but struggle with stability. your thinking is innovative, but not always grounded. you tend to pick up trends or insights before others do, but you also need to check whether your ideas are actually useful or just sound good in theory. balance between creativity and practicality is key.
♇ pluto-neptune
you carry deep emotional intensity, but it’s not always expressed outwardly. there’s a tendency to internalize pain, or to be drawn to experiences that feel meaningful but also emotionally heavy. you might feel like you’re constantly in the process of healing or transforming, but the lines between trauma, fantasy, and truth can get blurry. you might romanticize suffering or avoid closure because you’re addicted to emotional depth. it’s not about being dramatic–it’s about learning to release what isn’t yours to carry. emotional clarity takes time and effort, but it’s worth it.
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thanks for reading! <3 @s7my
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linoxpudding · 3 months ago
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Fading Love (Pt 2)- Lee Know
summary: as the distance between you and minho grows, secrets remain unspoken, and misunderstandings spiral out of control—until one final confrontation threatens to shatter everything for good
pairing: lee know x fem!reader, bsf!changbin x reader
genre: heavy angst
word count: 4290 words
warnings: mentions of divorce, pregnancy, emotional distress
a/n: wow my longest fic yet, it's filled with angst and no comfort (I'm sorry, ily)
SERIES: PART ONE PART THREE PART FOUR
ENDGAME: Voting Poll
Masterlist
~°~
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The second the door shut behind Minho, a heavy silence settled over the apartment.
It felt unreal. Like a nightmare you were waiting to wake up from.
As you sat frozen on the cold floor, arms wrapped around yourself, the weight of his words pressed against your chest, suffocating, relentless. I want a divorce.
How did it come to this? How did the love you had fought so hard to protect slip through your fingers like sand?
Your body shook with silent sobs, grief clawing at your throat as you rocked back and forth, the reality of your situation settling in. You were alone. Carrying his child, and utterly alone.
Your hands trembled as you reached for your phone. There was only one person you could call right now—someone who had been there from the very beginning. 
Your best friend, Seo Changbin. The one who had introduced you to Minho in the first place.
With shaky fingers, you tapped his name and pressed the call button. The phone rang once, twice—
"Y/N? It's late. What's up?" His voice was warm, familiar, a lifeline in your drowning despair.
The moment you heard his voice, the dam broke. A choked sob escaped your lips, and you struggled to get the words out.
“Binnie… Can you—” your breath hitched, “can you come over? Please?”
Changbin immediately tensed on the other end. “What happened?” His voice sharpened with worry.
You couldn’t answer, your throat tightening as another sob wracked through you.
“I’m on my way,” he said without hesitation. “Just hold on, okay? I’ll be there soon.”
The call ended, and you curled into yourself, pressing your palms against your face as you tried to steady your breathing.
*********************
Changbin arrived less than fifteen minutes later. The second he stepped into your apartment, his eyes darted around—taking in the dim lighting and the way you sat on the couch wrapped in a blanket, eyes red and swollen. Then his gaze shifted, taking in the carefully set dinner table, the soft glow of the candles, the unopened envelope sitting there like an abandoned secret. 
His stomach dropped.
He rushed to you, dropping to his knees beside the couch as he pulled you into his arms. “Hey, hey… I’m here. What happened?” His voice was soft, but there was an underlying urgency to it.
You clung to him, burying your face in his shoulder as fresh tears spilled down your cheeks. “He—” your voice cracked, “He asked for a divorce.”
Changbin stiffened. His whole body went rigid against yours.
“…What?” He pulled back slightly, eyes searching your face as if he didn’t believe his ears.
You let out a weak, bitter laugh. “He said… it’s not working anymore.”
For a moment, he said nothing. Then, slowly, his own expression darkened with anger.
“That—” He exhaled sharply, shaking his head. “That bastard.”
You shook your head. “Don’t… don’t blame him. He—”
“No, Y/N.” His voice was sharp, but not at you. “You’re sitting here, crying your heart out, and he—” Another deep inhale. He ran a hand down his face, “I’m gonna kill him.”
You sniffled, clutching the blanket tighter. “It gets worse.”
Changbin turned to you immediately, eyes filled with concern. “What do you mean?”
You hesitated. This was it.
The words you had planned to say to Minho—the words you had hoped would bring you two back together—now hung heavy in your throat.
Finally, you whispered, “I’m pregnant.”
Changbin froze.
His breath caught, eyes wide with shock. “What?”
You nodded weakly, hands shaking as you wiped at your cheeks. “Three months… I found out today.” You motioned toward the table, toward the sonogram that sat there inside the envelope unopened. 
Realization dawned in his eyes. He exhaled sharply, “Holy shit.” 
A sharp breath left Changbin’s lips as he ran a hand through his hair, his chest rising and falling unevenly. “He doesn’t know?”
Tears burned your eyes again. “I was gonna tell him tonight. I thought… I thought maybe the baby would fix things.” Your voice cracked, “But he left before I could say anything.”
Changbin didn’t speak for a moment. He just stared at the table, his expression unreadable.
Then, he reached out and took your hand, squeezing gently. “Y/N.” His voice was softer now. “What do you wanna do?”
You swallowed. “I don’t want him to know.”
He blinked. “What?”
You wiped at your eyes, composing yourself. “I think he fell out of love, Binnie. I don’t… I don’t want him to feel obligated to stay because of the baby. I don’t want our child to grow up in a marriage that was forced.”
Changbin opened his mouth, then closed it. His lips pressed into a thin line. “Y/N…”
“No, Changbin.” Your voice was firm despite the pain in your chest. “He made his decision. He wants to leave. I won’t force him to stay just because I’m pregnant.”
Changbin’s jaw tightened, “But he deserves to know.”
You swallowed hard. “And what if he doesn’t want this child? I can’t—” your voice wavered, “I can’t bear the thought of him looking at our baby with regret.”
Changbin exhaled slowly, his expression torn. He wanted to argue, to shake some sense into Minho, to drag him back here and force him to see what he was throwing away. But he also saw the pain in your eyes, the fear of being unwanted—not just for yourself, but for the life growing inside you.
"Promise me," your voice trembled. "You won’t tell him. You also won’t tell any of the guys."
For a long moment, Changbin didn’t speak. You could see the conflict in his eyes, the way he wanted to argue, but in the end—he sighed and nodded.
“…Okay.”
*********************
Minho lay on the stiff hotel bed, staring up at the ceiling, exhaustion pressing down on him like a weight he couldn't shake. The silence in the room was deafening—no sound of your soft footsteps, no warmth of your presence beside him. Just him, alone, with his own thoughts.
His chest ached, but he told himself this was for the best.
He hadn't made this decision lightly. It had been months of watching the light fade from your eyes, of feeling the distance stretch between you both like an unbridgeable gap. He saw it in the way you barely smiled anymore, in the way your laughter—once so effortless—had become rare, almost forced. And it killed him.
The guilt had been eating him alive for months. He knew he wasn’t around enough. Work had kept him late, exhaustion had drained him, and slowly, without realizing it, he had let you slip through his fingers. The more he failed to fix things, the more he convinced himself that maybe… maybe you’d be happier without him.
He wasn’t blind. He saw the way you stared at the walls when you thought he wasn’t looking. The way your voice wavered when you asked him if he was okay, as if you already knew the answer. He saw the disappointment flicker in your eyes every time he walked through the door late, too tired to do anything but collapse onto the couch. The countless missed dates. The way your excitement would slowly fade each time he called to tell you he couldn't make it. The way you'd try to mask your disappointment, saying, "It's okay, I understand," when he knew it wasn’t.
He remembered the company dinner you had invited him to—the one you had been looking forward to for weeks. You had picked out a dress, even asked him which earrings looked better, excitement shining in your eyes. Yet, when the night came, he wasn’t there.
“I’ll make it up to you,” he had promised, like he always did. But the truth was, he never really did.
You were miserable.
And he blamed himself.
Minho shut his eyes, allowing himself to drift back to that weekend. He had planned the getaway hoping that maybe, just maybe, escaping reality for a little while would fix things. That if he could just hold you close, kiss you the way he used to, you’d remember how much he loved you. Maybe you’d smile at him like before, without the weight of disappointment shadowing your gaze.  
And for a moment, it worked.  
That night, as he made love to you, he let himself believe that things could go back to how they once were. He traced every inch of you with reverence, whispering silent apologies into your skin. But even as he held you, even as you buried your face into his neck and sighed in contentment, an overwhelming sense of guilt crept into his chest, tightening like a vice.  
Because deep down, he knew love wasn’t enough.  
He knew that you deserved more than fleeting moments of happiness. More than those rare luxury vacations that only served as temporary bandages over a wound that kept growing. You deserved consistency, effort—not just grand gestures when things started to break beyond repair.  
You deserved a partner who showed up for you, not just physically but emotionally. Someone who came home on time, who listened, who asked about your day and actually heard the answer. Someone who didn’t let exhaustion or work become an excuse to neglect the person they swore to cherish.  
That night, as you slept soundly on his chest, he wept in silence, his fingers softly running through your hair. Because he knew he was failing you. He knew you deserved more, and he hated himself for not knowing how to give it to you.
So after three more months of battling his own thoughts, he did what he thought was right. He let you go. 
Minho exhaled shakily, rubbing a hand down his face. He had expected relief, a sense of closure. Instead, there was only a hollowness, a gnawing feeling in his gut that he had just made the worst mistake of his life.
Because the truth was, he still loved you. More than anything. But what good was love if it left you feeling lonely in your own home? What good was love if it wasn’t enough to stop you from hurting?  
*********************
Minho arrived home the next morning, the weight of finality pressing down on his chest. He wasn’t sure if you’d be home, but as he stepped inside, the silence told him everything—no soft humming from the kitchen, no quiet footsteps padding across the floor. Just emptiness.
He let out a slow breath, forcing himself to move. Packing was quick—too quick for something that felt like the end of an era. He grabbed his clothes, his essentials, ignoring the way his hands trembled as he zipped his suitcase. His eyes lingered on the little things—the framed photos, the sweater of his you always stole, the candle on the bedside table that smelled like vanilla because you said it made the house feel warm.
Then, as he walked to the foyer, he hesitated. His fingers brushed against the small keychain attached to his house key—the matching set you had gotten for both of you. The little silver cat charm had been a joke at first, but you had said, “Now, even our keys belong together.”
He exhaled sharply and placed the key next to yours, letting his fingers linger for a second longer before pulling away. Without another glance, he silently closed the door behind him.
*********************
Han Jisung was lounging on his couch when Minho showed up at his door, suitcase in hand.
“Hyung?” Jisung blinked in confusion, pushing his glasses up his nose. “What the hell are you doing here?”
Minho dropped his bag near the entrance, rubbing his face. “Can I crash here for a while?”
Jisung’s expression turned wary. “What happened? Where’s Y/N?”
Minho didn’t answer.
He stared at him for a long moment, confusion dawned on his face. “Hyung, you’re scaring me–” his eyes widened, “Did you guys have a fight?”
Minho sank onto the couch, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. He didn’t respond. Because what was there to say? He had done what he thought was right, and yet, the emptiness inside him only grew.
For the first day, Jisung didn’t ask questions. He let Minho stay in the guest room, barely speaking to him. But by the second day, the silence was unbearable.
Jisung finally confronted him in the kitchen, arms crossed as Minho mindlessly stirred a cup of coffee.
“Why are you really here, hyung?”
Minho remained silent.
Jisung scoffed, his frustration clear. “Did something happen with Y/N?”
Minho tensed.
Jisung’s frown deepened. “…Hyung… what did you do?”
Minho exhaled, gripping the edge of the counter. His voice was barely above a whisper, “I asked for a divorce.”
Jisung froze. His mouth parted slightly in shock before his face fell completely. “…What?”
Minho didn’t repeat himself. He couldn’t.
Jisung stared at him for a long moment before shaking his head. “No. No, that doesn’t make sense. You love her. You—”
Minho cut him off, voice flat. “It’s already done, Han.”
Jisung let out a humorless laugh, stepping back. “You’re serious?” He ran a hand through his hair. “What the fuck, hyung? Why?”
Minho didn’t answer.
Jisung scoffed, anger flickering in his eyes. “Did you even fight for her? Or did you just—give up?”
Minho clenched his jaw. “I didn’t give up.”
Jisung shook his head in disbelief. “Then what the hell do you call this?”
Minho didn’t have an answer.
*********************
Days later, Minho finally showed up at the studio.
He needed to get back to work. Needed something—anything—to distract himself.
But the second he walked into the studio, he realized just how naïve that was. The air was heavy. The usual playful energy that filled the space was gone, replaced with thick silence and cold stares.
The other members were there, but they weren’t joking around like usual. Felix and Hyunjin barely glanced at him. Seungmin kept his eyes on his laptop. Jeongin had his arms crossed, face unreadable. Even Chan—who usually tried to keep the peace—looked disappointed.
And then there was Changbin.
Changbin was standing by the mixing board, arms crossed, gaze burning into Minho like he wanted to hit him.
Minho sighed, “Just say whatever you’re going to say, Bin.”
“Oh, don’t worry, I will.” Changbin took a step forward, his voice razor-sharp, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
Minho didn’t answer.
Changbin’s eyes flashed. “I mean it, Minho. What the hell were you thinking?”
Minho clenched his jaw, “You don’t understand—”
“I don’t understand?” Changbin let out a bitter laugh. “No, I get it perfectly. You’re a fucking coward.”
Minho flinched.
“You’re seriously going through with this?” Chan’s voice was low, controlled, but he was disappointed, “You’re really leaving her?”
Minho swallowed hard, “It’s for the best.”
“For who?” Hyunjin scoffed, shaking his head. “Because it sure as hell isn’t for her. Or you.”
Minho remained silent, staring at the floor.
“I introduced you to her, hyung.” Changbin’s voice cracked, his hands trembling. “I watched you fall in love with her. And now, you’re just—what? Throwing it all away? After everything?”
“It’s not that simple,” Minho muttered.
“It is that simple.” Changbin snapped. “You’re hurting her. And don’t even try to tell me you don’t love her anymore—because we both know that’s bullshit.”
Minho clenched his fists. “You don’t understand.”
Changbin let out a humorless laugh, “You’re right. I don’t. Because I could never understand how someone could destroy the best thing in their life with their own hands.”
Minho exhaled shakily, lowering his gaze. He didn’t know how to explain it. The self-hatred, the guilt, the belief that you would be better off without him.
The silence stretched, suffocating. Then, almost unconsciously, the words slipped out.
“…Is she okay?”
Minho barely had time to process his own question before Changbin’s expression twisted into something darker—something dangerous.
“You don’t deserve to know.”
The words hit him like a bullet.
Minho’s head snapped up, but Changbin wasn’t done.
“You lost that right the second you walked out on her.” His voice was harsh, his hands trembling slightly at his sides. “You don’t get to ask about her now. You don’t get to pretend you care when you’re the one who left her behind.”
Minho’s throat tightened, “I never stopped caring.”
“Then where the fuck were you when she needed you?” Changbin’s voice rose, his anger barely restrained. “Where were you when she—”
He cut himself off, exhaling sharply, like he had to physically stop himself from saying something.
Minho frowned, his chest tightening. “When she what?”
Silence.
But there was something in Changbin’s expression—something guarded, something hesitant—that made Minho’s stomach twist.
“…Changbin.” His voice was low. “What aren’t you telling me?”
Changbin’s jaw clenched. He looked away, biting the inside of his cheek.
Minho turned to the others. “Do any of you know?”
No one answered. Everyone just stared at Changbin in confusion.
Felix shifted uncomfortably. Seungmin sighed, rubbing his temples. Jisung, who had been watching the whole conversation unfold, hesitated before finally speaking.
“You should just leave, hyung.”
Minho’s heart pounded. “Not until he tells me what’s going on.”
Changbin turned back to him, his expression dark. “You don’t get to demand shit, Minho”
Minho’s breath came unevenly. His mind was racing, every nerve screaming that something wasn’t right. That you weren’t okay.
But before he could press further, Changbin took a step back, his voice dropping to a quiet edge. “If you really gave a shit, you would’ve stayed.”
And with that, he turned and walked out of the room. The conversation was over.
Minho stood there, frozen, suffocating under the weight of his own choices. He let out a slow, heavy sigh—then left the studio. He should come back later. 
*********************
Meanwhile, you were trying your best to keep moving forward as the months progressed. 
The divorce process was surprisingly simple—your lawyers handled most of it, meaning you didn’t have to see Minho face-to-face. In a way, you were relieved. You weren’t sure if you could handle it. At first, you thought he would change his mind. That maybe, at some point, he’d realize the mistake and take it back. But he didn’t.
Instead, Minho had become colder.
No messages. No calls. It felt like he completely moved on.
The one date you would have to see him, the court date for the final signatures, was looming over your head like a storm cloud. But by then, you told yourself, maybe you’d have already delivered the baby. Maybe it would make things… easier.
Or maybe it would make everything worse.
You still debated telling Minho. But why? He didn’t want you anymore—why would he want your baby?
The only thing keeping you steady through all of it was Changbin. He had been your rock through the entire process, making sure you ate, making sure you weren’t alone when you didn’t want to be. Since you had no family in the city, having him around made everything feel a little less unbearable.
Of course, he still pushed you every once in a while. “You should tell Minho,” he’d say, voice careful, knowing you wouldn’t want to hear it. But he kept his promise. He never told Minho, or any of the boys.
Now, nearing your due date, your belly was impossible to hide. 
*********************
You sighed as you opened Changbin’s fridge, only to be greeted by nearly nothing.
“Changbin, what the hell do you eat?” you muttered, your voice echoing in the mostly empty kitchen.
“Protein shakes,” he answered shamelessly from the couch.
You turned to glare at him, “That’s not food.”
He shrugged, “It gets the job done.”
You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, if you want to live like a gym rat and die from malnutrition.” You shut the fridge and grabbed your jacket. “Come on. We’re going grocery shopping. I’m not letting you survive on just protein shakes and instant ramen.”
Changbin groaned. “Y/N, I have food. You’re being dramatic.”
“No, you don’t,” you argued, pointing at him. “And I’m not about to let my best friend starve.”
In the end, you won.
As you and Changbin walked through the grocery store, he was disguised in a hoodie, cap, and mask to avoid being recognized. You chuckled, shaking your head, as you tossed a bag of spinach into the cart.
“You look ridiculous,” you teased.
Changbin scoffed. “Excuse me, this is peak disguise fashion.”
You rolled your eyes, handing him a bag of apples. “Sure, let’s go with that.”
Despite the teasing, your mind briefly wandered. Minho used to do the same—always in disguise, always hiding. Not because he wanted to, but because you had asked him to. You wanted your privacy, wanted to protect his career. He had respected that, never once pushing you to go public.
Funny how things changed.
Your smile faltered slightly, but before you could dwell on it, Changbin nudged you with his elbow. “You okay?”
You quickly nodded. “Yeah. Just thinking.”
“Do I really need this many vegetables?” Changbin said in an attempt to lighten your mood. 
“Yes,” you said firmly. “And real food too. Not just protein bars and chicken breast.”
Changbin sighed. “Fine, mom.”
You smirked. “I am about to be a mom.”
He chuckled. “Touché.”
After finishing your grocery run, you both returned to his apartment, and as soon as everything was put away, exhaustion hit you like a truck. You had been feeling extra drained lately, and sometimes, your own apartment felt too lonely to go back to. So, without thinking too much, you made your way to his guest room upstairs, curling up on the bed for a nap.
Changbin didn’t question it. He simply made sure you were comfortable before leaving you to rest.
*********************
Back at Jisung’s place, Minho sat on the couch, mindlessly scrolling through his phone when something made his breath hitch.
“BREAKING NEWS: MYSTERIOUS WOMAN SPOTTED WITH STRAY KIDS’ CHANGBIN—IS HE GOING TO BE A FATHER?!”
Minho stared at the headline in disbelief.
The accompanying picture showed Changbin walking through a grocery store, a shopping cart—and a heavily pregnant woman by his side.
A woman that looked far too familiar. It was you.
The breath punched out of his lungs. His fingers clenched around his phone. His vision blurred with rage.
You were with Changbin.
And you were pregnant.
Minho felt like the air had been sucked out of his lungs. His heartbeat pounded in his ears as a horrifying realization hit him—was the baby Changbin’s? Had you moved on that fast?
Minho’s grip tightened on his phone, his vision blurring with rage and something far more painful—betrayal.
He was speechless, you… and Changbin?
Before the divorce was even finalized?
His heart pounded. You had moved on while he was still regretting everything?
His body moved before his mind caught up. Anger surged through his veins as he grabbed his car keys and drove to Changbin’s apartment, each mile fueling his anger.
*********************
Changbin was in the living room, when loud banging echoed through the front door.
“Changbin!”
The furious voice sent ice through his veins. He could tell it was Minho.
The second he opened the door, Minho stormed inside, shoving him back.
“Dude, what the hell—”
“What the fuck is this?” Minho’s voice was sharp, holding up his phone.
Changbin frowned, glancing at the headline. “It’s not—”
“Tell me this isn’t real.”
Changbin hesitated. “Minho, calm down—”
“Don’t tell me to fucking calm down!” His voice cracked, eyes blazing. “You and her? Before the divorce was even finalized? How could you– HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!”
Changbin clenched his jaw. “It’s not what you think.”
Minho took a step closer, fists tightening, “Then tell me. Tell me it’s not yours.”
Silence. Changbin hesitated.
Your words rang in his head—“Promise me. You won’t tell him.”
He swallowed and then, against every instinct screaming at him, he forced the lie out.
“…It’s mine.”
Minho froze. 
His blood turned to ice, his breath caught in his throat. He was then filled with rage. It exploded inside him, taking over every rational thought.
Before he even realized it, his fist swung.
The punch landed square on Changbin’s jaw, sending him stumbling back.
“Minho—” Changbin hissed, touching his lip.
But Minho wasn’t listening. He saw red.
“YOU SON OF A BITCH!” he yelled, grabbing Changbin by the collar. “You were my best friend!” His voice broke. “How could you—how could you—”
The pain cut too sharp.
"YOU WERE MY BROTHER!" Minho roared, his chest heaving, rage and heartbreak spilling from every syllable. "YOU ASSHOLE—AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, AFTER EVERYTHING WE’VE BEEN THROUGH—YOU WENT BEHIND MY BACK?!"
Changbin shook his head quickly. “Minho, listen—”
"NO!" Minho’s hands trembled at his sides, nails digging into his palms as his vision blurred with anger.
“STOP!” Your loud and shattered voice rang through the room.
Minho turned, still breathing hard. And there you were. Standing at the top of the stairs, eyes wide with panic.
His heart skipped a beat. For a second, neither of you moved. Then—Minho’s gaze lowered. Your hand was resting on your stomach protectively.
Then, reality slammed into him– you and Changbin. A baby.
Minho’s vision blurred as he whispered, “After all this time, this is how it ends?”
The pain in his voice made your stomach twist.
His throat tightened. “I—I quit.”
You stiffened. “What?”
“I won’t be in the band anymore. I quit.”
Changbin’s eyes widened in horror. “Minho, stop—don’t say that—”
But Minho wasn’t listening. He turned and walked out the door.
You finally snapped out of your daze. “Minho, wait!”
But he didn’t stop. He didn’t look back. And for the second time in your life—Minho walked away from you.
----------------
Taglist:
@kaiyaba @lov3rachan @pixie-felix @ellemir2404 @willowhanji @skzimagines @wavetohannie @jamroses @vietjeb @kayleefriedchicken @kokinu09 @nightmarenyxx @my-neurodivergent-world @shuuporanglinos @silly250
Part 2 Taglist:
@lovesunshinefelix @bluebellsringinghereandthere @hanniebunch @minniesverse @expired-vibes @havenwithleeknow @nikithaaaaaa @minghaosimp @zelianlop @imeverycliche @missvanjii @kissesmellow21 @butterflybananabread @skzmasterchef
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deikshen · 3 months ago
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The idea of Shang Qinghua as a fallen God was hitting me HARD-
I mean, he was some kind of civil God in the heavens, even then recognized for his prose, for the epic tales that would later become a reality, giving him the title of prophet, "The God who sees Beyond Time", "The God Who Inks the Pages of Destiny."
He rose from the lowest ranks as an adjunct god to an important position, becoming one of the most recognized and venerated civil gods of the heavens -he always responded to all the offerings, the one who appeared most in dreams, the one who solved the most situations with his own hands. The civil god with the most temples, the one to whom incense and prayers were given before the imperial exams, the one to whom even those learning to write gave small offerings in search of his erudition to learn faster.
So, something happened. Did he betray the heavens? It was discovered that he had risen to his position through corrupt means? Did he get into a debate with some vengeful martial god? The stories could be many, but the result is always the same: the civil god fell. Where he once had hundreds of temples, now they didn't even offer him incense. And Shang Qinghua, there, bored, was simply... tired. People remembered him for his stories, so he could never know the sweet embrace of death. Turned into a folk tale, his own stories, written in his own hand, being repeated and reproduced in theaters for centuries. When would this martyrdom end?
Never, apparently. And Shang Qinghua writes. He writes stories that are replicated across civilizations. He sees entire demonic races born and die. He writes about an emperor of the three realms, a heavenly demon, with a harem of beauties, a destiny, a prophecy surrounding a sword, and that only pure love could save martyred hearts blackened by fear and misunderstanding.
And after a few centuries, finally finds an artifact that will make him forgotten. He's tired. Fed up. It's been a long millennium of loneliness. Shang Qinghua collects every story he ever wrote, hides them in a deep cave, keeps them away from mortals. He burns his abandoned temples. He burns his stories, making everyone forget that there ever was a God who inks the pages of destiny.
And he dies. Finally.
Half a millennium later, Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe are on a hike. Some silly honeymoon thing, traveling the world and finding rare beasts and beautiful non-lethal plants. It's an area that was never originally described in PIDW, but Shen Qingqiu is curious; the world is vast, exquisite, stretching out with magnificent magic. And he wants to know everything.
Then he accidentally gets trapped in a silly array and opens a cave. Luo Binghe follows him, desperate, but both of them... well, even if they wanted to leave without investigating, they never could!! It seems to have been closed for a long, long time.
That's how they find a scholar's hiding place. Or so they think. Stacks and stacks of scrolls. Paintings, theater robes, masks. In the middle of the investigation, Shen Qingqiu's breath catches in his throat when, in the characters from a scroll, he reads Xin Mo.
It is difficult to understand the characters ruined by time, but the story is clear. There are prophetic legends about Xin Mo, about Luo Binghe himself (without mentioning his name other than "a baby who emerged from the Luo River with a frozen heart"), and so many, so many things... Shen Qingqiu is perplexed. What the hell is up with all this? Why was it hidden? Who wrote it? Damn, Airplane owes him some VERY good answers.
In his study in the northern palace, Shang Qinghua begins to have a very strong headache. He should go to sleep, he probably strained his eyes too much with all the paperwork, but, uh, for some reason, he really, really want to write something. An idea is starting to form in his head, like when he wrote PIDW in his other life! Maybe it'll be his next bestseller!! He has to seize the opportunity and inspiration when it hits him!!
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fleurfiles · 1 month ago
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Caitlyn x reader w misunderstanding trope we are having dinner with her parents at the manor and excuse ourselves to go to the bathroom or something and as we’re walking back to the dining room we overhear Caitlyn say “no it’s not like that, I don’t see her like that” and we think she’s saying that she doesn’t see us as a partner/gf but what we didn’t hear was what Cassandra had said “You shouldn’t play with her feelings, she isn’t like the other girls you’ve snuck in before, before all else she’s your friend treat her heart kindly” so Caitlyn was in reality reassuring her mother that she truly loves us, that she doesn’t see us as one of her flings maybe she clears it up when we can’t sleep and tell her what’s bothering us
NOT LIKE THE OTHERS
contents. caitlyn kiramman 𝑥 fem!reader
masterlist ‧₊˚ taglist
gabi’s quick thoughts. eek this is so cute i love love love
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dinner at the kirammans was always going to be a little nerve-wracking. not because you weren’t used to formality– you could easily handle the pristine silverware placement and cloth napkins and saying “thank you” like your life depended on it– but because it was them. caitlyn’s parents. cassandra and tobias kiramman, with their polished gazes and quiet, pointed smiles that made you feel like you were being interviewed even when they were being kind.
caitlyn had held your hand on the way in. had told you you looked beautiful– no, it was much stronger than that– she had told you that you looked radiant, and had kissed your cheek like she meant it. she’d pulled out your chair before sitting next to you, knees brushing under the table, her fingers dancing across your skin when no one was paying attention.
it had been fine, for the most part. awkward small talk, compliments on your schooling and your ‘poise,’ but nothing unmanageable. you were starting to relax, laughing at something tobias said, brushing your foot against caitlyn’s beneath the table like you’d done a thousand times before. feeling seen. safe.
and then, maybe an hour in, the wine starting to lull everyone into softness, you’d excused yourself to the bathroom. just for a second– but on your way back, the contents of the conversation which you had excused yourself from caught your attention. you hadn’t even meant to eavesdrop, but you were rounding the corner back to the dining room when you heard her voice, and you felt the need to listen in.
it wasn’t everyday that cait outwardly expressed how she felt about you– or anyone, for that matter. but when given the opportunity, you were always going to tune in to what she had to say, and even if it wasn’t directed at you now, you felt the undying urge to figure it out.
“no, it’s not like that,” caitlyn said, and you felt your pulse quicken. you must’ve not heard the beginning of the conversation, because there was no possible way that she could’ve been talking about you. all the nights you shared, sneaking out to sightsee piltover or the sleepovers you had, staying up late to bake and share secrets– or the days you spent on the phone just talking and enjoying each other’s company, it was way more than just platonic feelings. 
“i don’t see her like that.”
your heart dropped, and everything else dulled. you didn’t hear cassandra, or the context of what was being said before or after that comment. all you did know was that you were hurt, and you were done with listening to whatever else the conversation held, because just that one sentence echoed in your mind like it had been carved into you. i don’t see her like that.
your hand gripped the doorway. you stood there for another breath, maybe two, before you decided to just turn back. quietly, slowly, you ducked into the nearest hallway and tried to collect your face into something neutral to avoid ruining the evening for everyone else– but your heart was literally racing. your eyes burned with tears, but you blinked them down and pressed your palms into your thighs, practicing your smile in the dim reflection of a window pane.
when you returned, nothing had changed. the candles were still flickering. more wine was still being poured. caitlyn looked up and smiled at you, and you tried to return it, but your throat had closed up and your lips didn’t dare to move.
you somehow made it through dessert and more idle conversation, though you’re not really sure how. you laughed when you needed to, nodded when it was expected, and said ‘yes ma’am’ and ‘no ma’am,’ when cassandra would try to offer you something. caitlyn reached for your hand once under the table and you almost didn’t let her take it, but you weren’t that strong. she may not have felt the same way, but deep down, your feelings still remained.
it was stupid. it was so stupid, but your mind wouldn’t stop playing it back. i don’t see her like that. the words sat heavy in your chest, sticky and bitter, coloring everything else.
you didn’t sleep.
you stayed curled up in the guest bed they’d set up for you, caitlyn still in her room down the hall. you could hear the wind outside the window, hurling throughout the bare trees that lay victim to winter, and you resonated with them. you felt bare and exposed, like the entire ‘thing’ you had going on with cait was only raw for you. like she had been masking, meanwhile, your guard was already down.
you tried to fall asleep, you really did, but it only resulted in constant tossing and turning. it was gnawing at you, that sinking feeling that maybe this had all been one of cait’s little games– and maybe you were just something temporary. a distraction. another girl caitlyn had brought home to appease her parents and to fulfill some short-lived need, but nothing more. 
you hated how much it hurt. how much you’d let yourself feel. you had something so deep for cait that you almost let yourself believe that she still had it, too. but according to whatever she told mrs. kiramman at dinner, there was nothing there. she didn’t have an ounce of feelings for you.
though you tossed and turned for what seemed like hours, around midnight, you finally gave up. you sat up and stood out of bed, reaching over to the dresser to grab and pull on your sweater before making your wait to caitlyn’s room, bare feet against the cold wooden floor as you crept out. you knocked on her door gently and waited, unsure if she was awake, or if you even wanted her to be. 
she opened the door almost immediately, like she’d been expecting you to come, or maybe she was just hoping that you would. 
“you okay?” her voice was soft, and her dark blue hair was mussed like she’d been running fingers through it. she was in a long sleeve and shorts, barefoot, like you.
you nodded, “can i… come in?”
“of course.”
you stepped inside and she closed the door behind you. the both of you were swallowed by an awkward silence, which was rare– considering you were always so comfortable around each other. but a different feeling came about tonight. you wondered if cait knew that you had heard what she said, but it wouldn’t be like her to apologize this late after it happened.
you didn’t say anything at first, mostly out of embarrassment mixed with fear. you just stood there, arms crossed, staring at the edge of her rug and counting the amount of frays on the side before she finally spoke up. she walked closer to you, more careful this time, “you’re upset.”
you shook your head, biting your lip, “i just couldn’t sleep, and wanted to see if you were awake.”
she frowned, not believing you for a second. you hated that no matter what you said or how hard you tried, cait always had the ability to see right through whatever lie you were trying to persuade her into believing. “did something happen, darling? you can always tell me what’s going on, you know that.”
the nickname makes your chest pulse. you hesitated to respond to her question, and that’s when her eyes changed, softening up, like she knew whatever you were going to say was going to be hard for you.
“i didn’t mean to listen,” you whispered out,“but i heard you earlier, when i excused myself to go use the restroom.”
caitlyn tilted her head, confused, so you continued, “when i was coming back, you said…” your voice cracked and you hated it, your teeth gritting together in frustration, also stopping you from letting out a cry. you looked away, “you said you don’t see me like that.”
she froze.
“and it’s fine,” you rushed, trying to backpedal, voice all twisted and cracked, a complete giveaway on how you were really feeling, “and i get it, i just– i didn’t know. i thought we were… i don’t know what i thought, but–”
“no.” caitlyn took a step forward, eyes wide. she crossed her arms at you and shook her head fervently, “no, no, no, darling, that’s not what i meant. you didn’t hear the whole thing.”
you looked up at her, and she gently reached out, but didn’t touch you until you nodded that it was okay. once you obliged,her fingers found your arm, soft and grounding.
“my mother was telling me that i shouldn’t toy with your feelings. that you’re different. not like… not like the others.”
you blinked.
“she said you were my friend, and that i should be kind to your heart,” caitlyn continued, her voice softer now, more careful, and deeply understanding, “and i told her it wasn’t like that at all, because… you’re not just my friend. i do see you like that. like a partner. someone i–”
she paused and swallowed, like she always did when she wasn’t exactly ready to admit something out loud. but, contrary to usual, she kept going, “someone i care about more than i know how to say sometimes. i wish i was better at that.”
you stood there, breath held, heart cracking open and blossoming like you had never felt before. caitlyn drew closer to you, and your hand rested against hers as her irises softened before you, into something much sweeter than you had ever seen her let on.
“i would never play with your feelings,” caitlyn added, quieter now, “not yours. you’re precious.”
you looked up at her, finally letting her see how much it hurt you when you had heard what she said, and how stupid you felt, now realizing that you really had missed the entire context of the conversation.
she pulled you in before you could begin to speak.
her arms went around you and yours mimicked, your face buried in her neck like you were trying to disappear into her. her hands rubbed your back soothingly, her breath warm in your hair, and you could feel how tightly she held you– like she never wanted to let go.
“you could’ve just told me,” you mumbled, voice muffled, “i thought i was just one of your little playthings after hearing that.”
“i should have told you.” she admitted, and the air filled with another interlude of silence. it wasn’t awkward or heavy, just quiet and comforting, and a sense of nostalgia rushed within you, thinking back to when you and cait would just enjoy each other’s presence, communicating, yet not sharing a single word.
you stayed like that for a while. when she pulled back, she looked at you like you were her favorite thing, and it was evident that deeply, and truly– you really were.
“do you want to stay here tonight?” she asked you, but it felt more like a plea than a real question. of course, you had nodded, and her lips tugged into a smile as she squeezed your hand a couple times. she helped you into bed, pulled the covers up, and laid beside you, bodies curling together comfortably.  neither of you said anything else after that– she just reached for your hand under the sheets and held it tight.
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ashwhowrites · 1 year ago
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Hi, can i request an angst fic? insecure eddie where there is a misunderstanding with soft reader and due to his rejection trauma, he acts douchy as a defense mechanism. Soft reader, not used to get treated harshly, she turns cold. But then when eddie figured out that reader is more important than his ego, he finally trying to resolve his trauma before reconcile back with reader, although took some time and effort. Happy ending!
I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it! Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻
Push away
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Eddie knew he protected his feelings to an extreme. He hurt people before they could hurt him. He refused to be close to anyone, people always left. He was horrible at relationships. The second he felt the walls caving in, he was out the door.
Not many people had good things to say about him, and he didn't give them opportunities to.
Y/N was a soft and polite girl. She was quiet but spoke passionately. Y/N didn't talk to many people, but no one had anything bad to say about her. Until Eddie Munson proved that theory wrong.
~~~
Y/N couldn't remember when her crush on Eddie surfaced, but he was all she could think about. They had some classes together, and he sat across the room but at her eye level. She could stare and daydream for as long as she wanted.
It took her weeks to get the courage to say something to him, but she was glad she did. Because after that, a friendship began.
She didn't want to scare him off with her feelings, so she settled for just being his friend first. She could get to know him and enjoy being with him without having it mean anything more.
Eddie actually really enjoyed having her around. He wasn't the best at letting anyone in, but something about her felt comforting and warm. His brain was able to shut off around her. Their friendship felt easy to him. He wasn't worried about impressing her or trying to be someone he wasn't. For once, he was able to be just friends with a girl.
They hung out mostly every day. The second school ended, she was in his van and they'd go to his trailer and watch random movies.
The one thing Y/N didn't think through, was how hard it was going to be to act like she wasn't falling for him. They kept everything at a friend level, and she wasn't sure if it was the best idea to push for more. Eddie was a loner, and she should be grateful she made it this far.
But the more they hung out, and the more he wrapped his arm around her shoulder during movies, she couldn't think straight. All she could think about was holding his hand and feeling his lips move against hers.
"What's going on in there?" Eddie's voice caused her to snap into reality. His finger lightly pushed on her forehead.
"Sorry, what?" She blushed, blinking as she moved her eyes away from Eddie's face.
"You were staring and barely moving. You seemed to be in deep thought. Penny for your thoughts?" He reached over and paused the movie. His full attention was on her as she gulped.
She didn't know what to say. There was no way she was going to confess how she felt about him. But maybe she should? He seemed to be more comfortable with her and he constantly was touching her in some type of way.
Oh for fucks sake, go for it
"I have a crush on this guy, and I can't get him out of my head." She whispered, she worried if she said it loud enough it would be more real.
Eddie wasn't sure what he felt, but it wasn't good. He almost felt hurt that she would admit that to his face. But why should he care, it wasn't like they were dating or that he even liked her that way.
"Oh, well. Why don't you ask him out?" Eddie said he tried to sound like he didn't care. He was helping a friend.
"I can't tell if he likes me back. I enjoy having him in my life and I don't want to scare him off."
"Yeah, that's fair. Maybe compliment him, get close, and lean in for a kiss. If he leans in, go for it." Eddie wanted to smack himself. He didn't want her perfect lips to be touching some loser. But again, he was just a friend and he didn't have a say in that.
"Okay, kinda like this?" She whispered, her heart racing out of her chest as she placed her palm on Eddie's thigh. The rough material of his jeans scratched against her skin as she softly moved her hand down to his knee and then back up again.
Eddie felt his breathing stop as she lingered on his thigh. He wanted to look away but her eyes had him in a daze. His stomach flipped and he hated the way he was slightly turned on. He can't be feeling like this, because then he would have to admit he felt something. He searched his brain for an escape, he tried to move his legs but he was paralyzed.
All he could do was watch in horror as she leaned in. Her eyes searched his as she moved closer, her mouth inches away from his.
"Then I'd kiss him, right?" She whispered against his lips, and before he knew it he leaned in.
She felt the weight off of her shoulders as her lips crashed on his. Her eyes closed as she savored the feeling of his soft lips against hers. Her head spun as he gripped her waist and kissed her back. Her thoughts were gone as their kiss deepened. Her hands moved up his thigh, to his chest then around his neck, he pushed her body against his. He swallowed her moans as his tongue licked her bottom lip. She didn't think twice about opening her mouth to allow his tongue to touch hers.
The moment was perfect
The moment was everything she dreamed
It was everything she needed to say the words
She pulled away breathing heavily, and her eyes fluttered open. Eddie slowly blinked, like he wasn't sure where he was as he stared at her.
Then something snapped.
His hands yanked her arms off of him and he flew off the couch. He paced fire into the floor as he walked back and forth.
"What the fuck was that!"
Y/N was taken aback by how angry he sounded. She nervously tried to form an answer.
"I did what you said." Her voice was calm but confused. "I like you, Eddie."
Her words glued his feet to the floor. He was stuck, his feet felt too heavy to pick up as his breathing picked up.
He felt it
He felt the walls caving in. The room got smaller as he struggled to breathe. Her eyes haunted him as she watched. He felt like his body was being crushed between two walls and he couldn't push them apart.
"Well don't," he spat out harshly. She felt her body flinch as his eyes glared down at her. "I mean what is wrong with you? Why did you have to fuck up the friendship we had?"
She really did not understand why he was so angry. Even if he didn't like her, that wouldn't cause him to be so agitated.
"I'm sorry, I thought you wanted me to! You didn't move my hand, and you leaned in. And you kissed me back. I mean you deepened the kiss. I thought that meant you liked me too" She apologized. She worried she might have made him uncomfortable.
"Why would I like you too? What possible idiotic theory are you basing that on?"
She tried not to cry as she stood up. She wasn't sure who the hell was across from her, because it was not the sweet boy she spent her time with.
"Why are you acting like this? I said I was sorry."
"Because I know if I allow myself to have feelings for you, you'll be the one I spend the rest of my life with," Eddie confessed, and that scared him the most.
"Would that be so bad? I know it's scary, but don't you think we should try?" She asked, she slowly moved closer to him. Her hand softly cradled his face.
Her touch turned him into ice. It was all too much and he needed her gone. He needed her out of his mind, his sight, and his life.
"Yes because I'll have to live with the regret of choosing you."
Y/N yanked her hand off of his face like he burned her. She felt like the air was kicked out of her lungs.
"Fuck you," she spat as hot tears rolled down her face. She turned around to grab her jacket off the couch. She didn't bother putting it on, she slammed the door behind her as she left.
The loud bang echoed through the trailer as the walls moved back to their normal distance. Eddie could feel the air returning to his lungs as he dropped to the floor.
He escaped
But he wasn't sure how long the escaping would feel like freedom.
~~~
Eddie figured if she was out of sight, she'd be out of his mind
But he was wrong
She never left his head. Images of her smiling and laughing. But also the image of her crying and leaving. It's been a few days and they haven't talked. He knew they wouldn't, but he didn't think he'd miss her.
He escaped but this time it felt different. It made him feel worse. There wasn't any relief on his shoulders anymore; bricks piled on until it was too heavy to even stand up.
He missed having a friend. He knew he handled the situation horribly, and he wanted to apologize for it.
~~~
Y/N tried to ignore how awful she felt. She was embarrassed and regretted ever telling Eddie she liked him. But at least he showed his true colors and she could begin moving on.
Y/N hadn't seen Eddie since the big blowout, and Monday approached faster than she wanted. She wasn't sure how seeing him would go, but she knew she would ignore him.
~
Eddie had never felt so nervous to pull up to school, a endless pit settled in his stomach as he walked through the parking lot. He kept his eye out for Y/N's car, he wasn't sure if he wanted to find it or not.
Without catching a glimpse of her, Eddie walked into the school. He planned to wait at her locker until she showed up.
~
Y/N rolled her eyes as Eddie stood at her locker.
"Move," She mumbled with a blank stare.
"Can we talk?" Eddie asked, his voice shaky.
"We are already talking more than I wanted, now move and leave me alone." The seriousness in her voice broke Eddie down a bit, but he knew he deserved it.
He nodded and walked off.
But he wasn't going to give up.
~
Y/N sat at their usual table, Eddie wasn't sure if he was welcome to sit or not. He took a deep breath and dropped his tray on the table. She looked up from her lunch and looked right back down.
Eddie coughed and picked at his tray. His eyes kept peeking up to look at her but her head was always down.
"I'm sorry for what I said," Eddie said but she didn't flinch. "It was wrong and you didn't deserve that."
Y/N let out a heavy sigh and stood up.
She looked Eddie straight in the eyes, he took a deep breath as he waited for her to speak.
But she didn't
She gathered her lunch and walked off.
~
Eddie tried to apologize every single day, he switched his words and tried to say what she needed to hear. A week of silence and he couldn't let it go further.
He knew what happened was because of his past trauma and he felt he needed to understand first. Maybe then he could give her an explanation. So, he began therapy.
Within a few appointments, he understood he pushed her away because he was in love with her.
~~~
Y/N finished writing in her journal when she heard a knock at her window. Her curtains were shut, so whoever knocked was a mystery. She slowly stood up and crept towards her window, she was a tad scared but figured a robber wouldn't be asking for entry.
She peeked through the tiny crack of her curtain and saw Eddie's familiar curls. He stood on the small balcony. She sighed and walked back to bed.
Eddie could see her shadow moving and frowned when her lap shut off. Her room was dark and he lost sight of her. But he would stay here all night if he needed to.
He knocked again and called her name, but no response.
Y/N groaned annoyed at the constant knocks, but still remained in bed.
"I'm sorry. I know I fucked up and I might not ever make this up to you. But I figured out why I reacted that way."
His words made Y/N's ears perk, and she sat up in bed.
"I pushed you away because people always left. The people that I cared for, the people I loved. When you kissed me, I loved it. I felt complete like that emptiness those people left was filled by you. So I panicked, I wanted to leave before you left me. Which was wrong. Because I shouldn't have turned on someone that I love."
Y/N gasped as the final words left his lips. She had to pick between her pride and her heart. And she wasn't positive which one led her in the right direction.
"Can I just see you?" his knock was lighter than the rest, and his voice sounded like he was on the cliff of giving up.
She got out of bed and walked to her window. She pulled back the curtain and opened her window. Eddie smiled as he saw her face.
"Hi," he whispered, afraid to speak louder and frighten her.
"Are you saying you are in love with me?"
"I'm trying to, yes. And I don't expect that to fi-"
Eddie was cut off as Y/N captured his lips in a kiss. Eddie didn't hesitate and kissed her back.
She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he leaned further in the window. Half his body leaned into her room as he chased her lips as she pulled away.
"It doesn't fix everything but I'm ready to forgive you and we'll fix it together." She said against his lips.
"Thank you," he whispered before he connected their lips again.
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