#mom thoughts

[themanicmother]

Trying to decide if I’m attracted to all of the hosts of blue’s clues because they’re all attractive, or if I’m attracted to men who host blue’s clues.

[7loveneverfails]

I am starting to feel like sleep training your kid is a weird thing to do.

Maybe that's just because my kids sleep without issue though.

I didn't have to fight for either to sleep in their bassinet and minimal effort when transferring to the crib.

But even with my babies sleeping fine in their cribs, I feel like snuggling with them and co sleeping would be fine.

I dunno, I guess it just feels like people always want me to foster my babies being on their own from the moment they were born. There will be time for that, but for now I think being close and connected is right. It's important. I want them to know I care when they cry. I don't want to just make them be quiet cause it's hard to listen to, I want to help them feel better.

[fairyvv]

I’ve finally started my yt journey && you guys are the only ones who know. I want to reach the mommies. I want to create a safe space for women to be open about their journey. I’m a new mom & want to share the tricks I have learned, learn from other moms && connect! If your heart prompts you tune in & stay! Peace & Blessings to you all🫶🏾

[girlwithamillionfaces-blog]

Everyone always talks about post partum depression... what about the depression during the pregnancy? The fear, the shame, the sadness over losing who you are to this new person you have to become? I don't think I've ever wanted to just vanish as bad as I have the last few weeks of this pregnancy... I'm tired of trying to survive... I'm tired of forcing myself to be ok enough to eat, sleep, and get up everyday for the sake of this baby within me... I feel so alone because I can't just say "hey can you take the baby so I can have a bad mental health day where I don't take care of myself?" I can't just hand her off and sleep for 12 hours to cope with the pain of existing.. I feel so fucking trapped and no one, not a single fucking person around me, has noticed or even asked how I'm doing. It's always "how's the baby?" "Bet you can't wait to meet her!" "Don't forget to eat and exercise, the baby needs you to."

What about me? I need me to be able to sleep, eat, move, get shit done. But no, once you get pregnant you don't fucking exist anymore. You're just a fucking vessel for a human that you don't even know yet. Don't get me wrong, I love her, I love her more than words can describe and yes I'm terrified for post partum. But we need to discuss the very really depression that women feel DURING the damn pregnancy too. I'm so sick of everyone asking how I feel and then when I answer honestly "I'm tired, my body hurts, I don't know if I can do this." The responses are always about the damn baby "you think you're tired now, wait till the baby gets here!" "If it hurts now, just imagine how sore you'll be after caring for the baby all day!" "Well you better figure out how to do this, you have a baby to consider now!" And yea, that shit is all true. But fuck... the invalidating shame it gives me to be discounted and told it'll only get worse... it kills me... if I could go back I'd be on birth control again so I could wait until I was ready for this baby. But I can't go back, and my "complaining" as I've been told it's called, is me begging, screaming, for someone to look at me and say it's ok to feel broken.

But sadly, in the eyes of many around me, feeling broken isn't allowed. I should just be grateful that I'm able to have this baby. I am. I should just be grateful that so far she's healthy. I am. And I should be grateful that there are people around me that love and support this baby. I am. But I I NEED LOVE AND SUPPORT TOO! FUCK DUDE!

[ccruz]

I'm so grateful that I have these small humans in my life. Even though it's not easy, even though the days seem so long, and some days I just don't have it in me to be all that I should, I am so lucky to have this love. And this one here...she will always find me on my bad days and lay her head on my shoulder. The world may think you're so disconnected, but you always seem to know, and always find a way to connect to the very heart of me and mend what needs mending. With a touch, a look, a cuddle. Without a single word, you just seem to know. Thank you for the reminder: that I AM enough, that I AM loved, that I AM needed...that tomorrow is another day.

[shadownymphnyx]

I feel so run ragged….like when is my turn for relief..

[faith3191]

The Excerpt of a Lonely Housewife

I never have expected my life to be like this, at 31. Married…but single and alone. As a little girl, I dreamed of a man that would come take me away from this hell I lived in. Growing up with a single Mama as your only role model, (one whom had been controlled her whole life) sure made things interesting. Sure I had a father, but one who loved his wrestling career and poor choices in wives more than actually being a father. See, I’ve always been on the back burner to the important men in my life, so that's what I learned love was…An only “sometimes” thing that I craved.

I would go most of my teenage life making mistakes, looking for love in all the wrong places. So sure…I had mommy and daddy issues, because I also looked for the love i was lacking in my “distant-but-there” mother in the friendships I made. I always just wanted to be accepted. And if I wasn't, it broke my sensitive heart.

I met the man that I called my future ex-husband in the beginning. This man inspired Carrie Underwood's “Cowboy Casanova” hit song. His charmingly blue eyes and southern drawl had me hooked. His work ethic was good and that's what I was looking for, considering my past ex had none. This man was bad in all the right ways and I thought to myself, “here is a man that has his shit together.” Sure he has a few kinks to work out, but it was do-able. Ha! I wasn't prepared for the “shitshow” that would be.

Here this “bull of a man” was, with more issues than I ever thought about having. He didn't like Christmas because they didn't celebrate it, or ever even had a tree when he was a child. Okay cool, my new goal was to make him love Christmas as much as I did. It was like I was giving this grown man a childhood through giving my kids one as well. I slowly over the years watched his eyes light up more and more at Christmas time, which was a goal in itself. That would always end bad a few days later as the anniversary of his his dads death rolled around. That was grounds for him to get drunk and fight with me because he couldn’t handle his heart being broke, or being sad. It came out as anger.

March 2014, we welcomed my third child, (his first, a boy) into the world. That little boy came out looking like him and acting like him just as much. That was his pride and joy…never seen a man beam with so much joy! As he held him he looked at me and said "I will never pick up another bottle.” He named our son after his father “Charlie.”

I had high hopes he meant that promise, as I held him to it. That promise was shattered when he did in fact pick up many more bottles. The first time in particular, I had to fight with him to get the keys out of his hand. The first of many times…and each time got harder and harder because he liked to travel when he was drunk. I used to have nightmares he would leave me, and he did a lot. But he always came back, so I was like “cool, Daniel wont ever leave me!” A blessing and a curse, all wrapped into one. Trust me, you’ll see what I mean.

In February 2017 we got engaged, not a dream come true like i pictured as a big eyed little girl when I dreamed of my prince. He never would ask me to marry him and then in the mist of a hormone driven temper tantrum ( i was pregnant with our rainbow baby) and yelled at me " I was gonna ask you to marry me, but YOU ruined it. I said Fine forget the proposal we will just get married!

I Spent the next few months not really planning my dream wedding but one i was settling for as i was paying , planning and putting it all together myself. I planned the most low budgeted wedding for right at 500 dollars in under four months. I had skill and determination.

In June of that year , the 10th to be exact that was the day my whole life would change, as he left that morning with our boys in tow i got ready to become a bride with my daughter, mom, and mamaw all there to help me get ready, my dad in the background observing, My mom did my make up and my friend did my hair. I was 6 months pregnant and already glowing.

I heard the music start in the doorway of that church and my arm was sweaty against my dads arm, "you ready?" i heard him ask. I nodded nervously and sucked in my bottom lip. Here i go, about to walk down to the man I would spend the rest of my life with , I must have been really nervous because I practically ran down the aisle.

As I stand there and we say our vows I look behind me at our little boy clung to the tail of my dress whos holding a sign that reads "Daddy here comes Mommy" my life was complete. I really thought i had my happy ending. There was nothing else more in life i could ever want. But oh boy did God have other plans.-- (Part 1)-- i will post part two later!

[fairydrowning]

– Noor Unnahar, Instagram account "noor_unnahar"

[TEXT ID: / [Lemons] / My father's mother loved lemons. Years after her passing, / we run out of everything, but never / lemons. / Nothing else shelters grief / better than memory. / It's my father way of saying, / even in your absence, you will be / cared by me. / END ID]

[squidflavoredsoup]

stupid thing i did

[themanicmother]

I firmly believe that at least 85% of my problems would be solved if I could sleep divorce my partner.

[ashoss]

my lovely son waking me up to tell me he threw up.

us waking up my wonderful butlerfather to tell him he threw up.

[darkmothsy]

I need a day at the beach with a few drinks where I am not responsible for the human I made for more than a couple of hours so I can actually soak it in

[youre-not-special]

When I was pregnant with Bash, i always had this little seed in the back of my head; a little nugget of worry, that Bash would be autistic like Bug.

We thought that we don’t know if we can handle having another “special needs” child.

I got sick when I was pregnant with Bash too. I think it was food poisoning because i was throwing up for 2 days, then had the runs a couple of days after that.

That made that little seed of worry take root in my brain.

Then I had Bash a month early. It was a little warm that day, when it was usually cool. I had taken Vi and Bug to the park. Maybe I pushed myself a little too much. I was 36 after all. Geriatric pregnancy, they call it.

Try as I might, it was (still is) hard not to be paranoid. I tried to remember Bug’s early signs of autism. Is Bash responding to me? How’s his eye contact? Is it okay that he likes to watch wheels spin?

IRC.

We heard it again. This time it’s after Bash’s 10 month check up. He’s not really meeting some milestones in the questionnaire. More no’s than yes’s.

My heart sinks.

We’re not quite ready to go that road again.

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

[isatohlee]

He deserves to sleep comfortably in his mother’s arms after all he’s gone through

[chloesimaginationthings]

"Oswald's mom has got it going on" - FNAF Pit bonnie