#mood honestly I’ve cried over a song before

[incorrectpinescone]

Dipper: “Hey, Harry Styles released a song called ‘Matilda.’ Isn’t that one of your favorite books?”

Wirt: “Cool. Let’s listen!”

Dipper: “…”

Wirt: “…”

Dipper: “Wirt, why are you crying?”

[7ndipity]

Them With An Autistic S/o

Ot7 x Reader

Summary: How the members would handle/react to their S/o being on the spectrum.

Warnings: Mentions of sensory issues, feeling over/under stimulated, depression, meltdowns, stimming.

A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this! This is a list I’ve actually wanted to write for a while, but I’d been slightly nervous/unsure about it. But as someone who’s also on the spectrum, I know how much comfort similar posts from other blogs have brought me! I also tried to keep this one a bit lighter, since someone asked for a separate list about meltdowns/shutdowns, but if there’s any specific reactions/hcs like this that you guys want, let me know! (Please note that these are based off my own knowledge/experience, so I’m sorry if they don’t fit for everyone)

Masterlist

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Jin:

I feel like he’d be slightly confused and worried at first because he’s not sure what to do/how to help you, but once you explain a bit more, he gets a lot more comfortable, and really is such a good caregiver when he needs to be.

Catches onto your different stims pretty quickly and what each one means.

Like, y’all have whole conversations solely through funny little hums and stim noises.

Really good at reading and matching your mood/energy. You wanna talk about the Mayans nonstop for two hours? Cool! You want to just sit silently and do nothing? Also cool!

He’s really good at normalizing your symptoms and making them seem like nbd(because to him, they aren’t) Food sensitivities? He’s got them too! You hate loud noises and crowds? Same Honey, let’s get the fuck outta here! He knows they’re not quite the same thing, of course, but if it makes you feel more comfortable and safe being your true, unmasked self with him, then that’s all that matters to him.

Really good at calming you down when you feel overwhelmed or on the verge of meltdown.

Does his absolute best to bring your mood up whenever you’re struggling or feeling really down, pulling out his best dad jokes(even if they don’t make sense to you), bringing your favorite snacks, etc.

Yoongi:

I think he would handle it really well. Does his research after you tell him, and asks you about it casually during dates/hangouts.

So fucking respectful of your boundries. If you prefer to have your own space, he’s totally fine letting you do your own thing. If you need more closeness and cuddles, he’s all over that too, letting you sit right next to him while he works.

Not only lets you rant about your special interests, but makes the effort to take interest in them and asks questions. Randomly buys you little things related to them.

He’s so calming and soothing when you’re feeling stressed or overstimulated, understanding whenever you randomly need rest or quiet time(stress nap buddies)

Keeps things like extra sunglasses and headphones in his bag for you, just in case you forget yours.

Would have a lot of fun if you have audio stims, letting you listen to his new songs because your reactions and enthusiasm are so cute to him. Makes you panning audios as gifts.

Always there to look out for you whenever executive dysfunction decides to kick your ass. Washes the dishes, doing the laundry, restocking your safe foods, etc. He would also be really good at body doubling.

Hobi:

I honestly think he would be really good with an S/O on the spectrum. Like, he literally designed Mang, who is soo ND coded like omg😭, so I think he would be able to understand you really well.

(if you haven’t seen the videos of him talking about Mang’s personality and character traits during the re-design process last year, pls go watch them, I almost cried)

Loves buying you new fidgets and stim toys whenever he finds new ones to try(he even has a collection of chewlery that he wears bc he thinks they’re neat).

Is really good reading you and distracting you when you start to get overstimulated or anxious, sometimes noticing before you do.

Lowkey protective over you in spaces and situations he knows are stressful for you, positioning himself next to you whenever he spots things he knows bother you.

You know how Yoongi described him as a vitamin? That’s how it is for you now too.💛

He’s so stimmy himself, so he would find a lot of your stims really relatable and endearing. Like, if you start happy stimming, he can’t help but join right in, bouncing or squealing with you. It makes him so happy that you feel comfortable enough with him to share those parts of yourself with him.

Namjoon:

Instantly super supportive when you told him, making an effort to research on his own, as well as listening to your personal experiences to understand as much as possible.

Happily sits and lets you info-dump about your special interests. He honestly loves seeing you so passionate and animated about whatever you’re talking about and loves getting a glimpse into how your mind works(it was probably during one of these moments that he realized he was in love with you)

Surprisingly good pebbler, he’s always finding cool rocks or shells for your collections.

Doesn’t mind speaking for you on days when you’re nonverbal.

The sweetest when you’re feeling overstimulated. He closes all the curtains to make it dark and cozy and sits with you, talking as softly as needed or not talking at all, tapping your hand gently now and then to let you know he’s still there.

Soo protective over you, almost to a fault at times. Like, you might have to scold him once or twice about babying you, but he really doesn’t mean to, he just wants to make sure you’re safe and happy.

The world feels a lot less scary tho with him next you. You know if you need anything, he’s got your back.

Jimin:

The softest boi🥺 He was honestly a little scared when you first told him, because he didn’t want to do anything wrong and was worried he wouldn’t be ‘good’ at looking after you, but he quickly relaxed and grew more confident as he learned more from you.

The best comforter when you’re feeling overwhelmed or depressed, full of quiet reassurances and long hugs(if you’re okay with those). He’ll gladly cuddle with you under your weighted blanket for however long you need to feel better.

Literally set up a little “nest” for you at his place with a like beanbag chair and your favorite types of blankets/pillows, so you have your own place to just ‘be’ and recoup when you need it.

Carries fidget toys and sensory aids like sunglasses and headphones with him at all times, just in case you need them.

Really good at communicating with you on days when you’re nonverbal, whether through texts or little notes(which he always adds little doodles on to make your smile😊)

Makes sure you never feel guilty or like a burden to him for letting him in on those tougher days. If anything, they make him love you even more because of the trust you have in him.

It really makes him feel so proud and happy inside that you find so much comfort in his presence and that he gets to take care of you.💜

Taehyung:

Another that I think would be particularly good with a neurodivergent S/O. Like, everyone jokes about how he’s weird, so I think he’d love that you’re both your kind of own unique kinds of ‘weird’.

Happily rewatches your favorite comfort shows/films with you, and speaks in fluent film quotes with you.

Loves when you fidget and stim with his hands or fingers.

If you like pressure stims, he’s a dream come true. Like, the man’s a living weighted blanket, so when you basically give him a doctor's note for cuddles? He’s never gonna let you go.

As relaxed as he might come across sometimes tho, he’s super observant of your stims and triggers and takes it so seriously whenever you start feeling overwhelmed or stressed.

It doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing, if you need a break, he’s getting you to a quiet place where you can sit and just recalibrate.

Rivals Jin and Yoongi for top spot in the acts of service department on your bad days, making sure you eat properly, doing any household chores that need done. He even learned how to wash your weighted blanket so you don’t have to.

Jungkook:

Was definitely a little lost and overwhelmed when you first explained everything to him, but he really takes it in stride and tries to learn as much as possible to help make things easier for you where he can.

The King of comfort squeezes. Like you’ve seen his arms, he gives the best hugs, I just know it(especially on those “the weighted blanket isn't enough, I need a hydraulic press” days)

Loves learning about your special interests. Like, It’s no longer just your special interest, it’s our special interest. He’s even studying and finding things for it on his own to surprise you with.

Honestly plays with some of your fidget toys more than you do, lol! You might even end up giving him a few of his favorites😊

Gets super happy and smiley whenever you get echolalia of his songs.

Another member of the protective squad, ain’t no bad stimuli getting to his baby if he can help it!

The gentlest with you when you're overstimulated or having a tough day. Anything you need, he’ll do without question. All he cares about is making sure that you feel safe and comfortable🥺

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho @a-gayish-unicorn @dfqcsqueen @mother2monsters @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz

[kierewrites]

The Supers

navi - masterlist

Dabi x Reader

Mood Song: lost in the fire

Summary: Somehow the world's most feared super villain and the world's most loved super model found their ways into each others lives. And somehow, you were both perfect for each other.

Warnings: mentions of violence, dirty talk, manhandling, choking, degrading, brat taming, pretty much dabi being an asshole lol

Dabi let out a frustrated sigh as he waited for the elevator doors of your apartment building to open. Your snoopy front desk guard was on duty tonight, and honestly that was the last thing he wanted to deal with right now.

He promised you he would be home early today to celebrate some shitty event you had going on. Normally he would remember such an event that had your eyes practically glowing in excitement, but his corpse of a boss had been hounding him about a particular job he needed to get done.

Just as expected, his target made the task much harder than it needed to be. He spent nearly two days tracking the fuck down, and when he found him. Oh, did he make him pay.

“Dabi p..please! I’ll tell you everything you want to know.”

The villain’s eyes narrowed to slits as the man tried to back impossibly closer to the brick wall behind him, cornered by Dabi at last.

“Too late for that I’m afraid.” Dabi spoke cooly, growing annoyed by the man’s incessant sobs.

“No! No, I can give Shigaraki all he needs I promise!” The man cried, his knees beginning to give out in fear as he shrunk to the floor in terror.

The villain felt his hands tingle with rage as the pathetic man cried for mercy. After all this searching and trouble he had to go through, this man should be begging for Dabi to end his life quickly and easily.

“You know you wasted forty eight hours of my time, right?” Dabi hissed, shuffling towards the man with his hands shoved in his pocket.

The man let out a shriek when Dabi leaned down towards him in a quick movement, a crazed smile on his lips as he let the steaming heat radiate off his body.

“Told my doll I would be home a whole day ago, but I couldn’t do that, could I?” Dabi questioned rhetorically, bending down now on the heels of his feet so he could level with the man, “You know how many hours she’s been waiting because I’ve had to chase scum like you?”

Once again, a rhetorical question. But the man didn’t seem to notice.

“T..Twenty four-”

The sound of his quivering voice pissed Dabi off beyond his already thin patience. Letting out a growl he grabbed the man’s face harshly, his palm beginning to heat up and sear against his flesh.

“Thanks for proving to me that you know how to count,” Dabi growled, slamming the man’s head against the wall causing him to cough up blood all over his jacket.

“Fucking hell, you’re a damn mess.” Dabi snarled, knowing you weren’t going to like seeing the crimson liquid.

“You know I was just going to ignite your sorry ass to dust and call it a night,” Dabi spoke, wiping the greasy sweat from the man’s face on his already ruined jacket before glaring back down to his victim, “But I don’t think you deserve that.”

The man’s eyes now shot up to Dabi, almost a bit of hope glimmering in them at his words, until he noticed the downright sinister look in the villain’s eyes. He wasn’t about to show any mercy.

Dabi glanced up at the stone ledge above the two of them and quickly shot his hand up to ignite a burst of fire towards it, effectively severing it from the building to fall directly into the lap of the victim.

His shrill screams of pain echoed throughout the air, surely waking anyone nearby. The sound made Dabi’s heart beat with sadistic excitement, finally feeling justice was served for his previous days wasted.

“Now I hope you bleed out for fourty eight fucking hours, so you’ll know exactly how my doll felt.” Dabi barked with a grin, sending one last stream of flames towards the man to ensure his demise before finally concluding this headache of a job.

The thought alone of the pathetic man made Dabi grit his teeth; between that and the guard obviously staring at him, he was wanting to turn the whole building to ash.

All he wanted to do was crawl into bed and pull you close into his chest and make up for two days worth of sleep. Two days starved of your soft touch.

The elevator ride felt incredibly longer than usual, each step he took towards your apartment only felt like he was moving farther away from it. He almost couldn’t believe it when he found the familiar numbers of your place before him.

The sound of the door creaking throughout the living room made Dabi cringe, though he would never tell you that. Typically when you whined to him about waking you up, he just laughed or simply told you he didn’t care.

He knew that was a lie, but you didn’t need to know that.

Dabi’s ‘profession’ wasn’t made known to you quite yet, for obvious reasons: you were a supermodel.

Your life was broadcasted to millions of people, and though he trusted you enough to know you wouldn’t blabber his secrets to the world, he also knew all eyes were on you, and accidents happen. A life of his own couldn’t afford accidents.

He had a feeling you had a small idea that what he did was illegal, catching hints of blood or ash on his clothes often. The fact that most of his “shifts” ended in the early hours of the morning also seemed strange to you, but you never questioned any of it.

Just the way he liked.

Surveying the empty living room, Dabi came to the conclusion that you were fast asleep, not a sliver of light in sight. Never a surprise to the raven haired man, as you tended to fall asleep on him as early as ten o’clock, to which he would always call you his little baby.

When you were awake in the early hours during his return home, he knew something was wrong, but luckily tonight wasn’t the case.

Though his muscles screamed at him with every quiet move he made, Dabi still made an effort to strip his boots off as quietly as possible. Today’s job was a rather messy one, and the last thing he needed were those adorable cheeks puffed at him when you found a bunch of ‘dirt’ all over the floor.

Stripping his jacket off, he shoved it in a nearby hamper so you wouldn’t see the work he had done all day, deciding he would wash it in the morning.

Your apartment was cute, honestly rather luxurious for someone so young. Luckily your job paid more than enough bills, which initially shocked Dabi since he claimed you were just “posing for a camera”, to which always earned a slap from you.

As much as he hated to admit it, each time he saw the skyline view of Musutafu from your floor to ceiling windows he was amazed. It’s so easy to see the beauty and charm of such a large city when you live at the top, blissfully able to ignore the real chaos that happens down below.

Though he normally hated places like this, he also knew you didn’t have the luxury to live in just any regular apartment anymore. People were always tracking your every move, cameras and lights becoming a part of your lifestyle. Stunning apartments like this always had high security so you could have a somewhat normal lifestyle at home.

With that in mind, Dabi wasn’t quite thrilled with your so-called ‘security’. Since he wasn’t able to waltz into the doors, he usually had to come in with a disguise or through the back entrance. Not once did he ever have any issues. Hell he could break into your place to murder you and they probably wouldn’t find out for months.

He claimed that’s why he stayed with you as often as he did, because your ‘bimbo ass’ needed protection from your freaky fans. And though he wasn’t lying, you and him both knew that’s not the only reason why he stayed with you.

Letting out a sigh, Dabi gave the sparkling city one last glance before rubbing at his neck and shuffling to your bedroom.

He had every intention of showering, honestly, especially because he knew you would freak if he dirtied your freshly cleaned satin sheets. But his plans came to an abrupt halt when his eyes finally fell on your body.

Though a beauty to look at, you were a train wreck of a sleeper. Your body typically flailed every direction once you hit a deep slumber. Sure enough, your arms were beneath your pillow while one of your legs haphazardly stuck out from beneath the satin sheets.

Normally Dabi would’ve chuckled, maybe even snapped a picture for blackmail before continuing on with his night, but thanks to your sloppy position, he was able to drink in in what you were wearing.

Either you were trying to surprise him, or you were trying to tease him: either way his reaction was the same.

Your silky skin was wrapped up like a perfect sinful present for him, your chest and waste was adorned with the most luxurious lingerie he had ever seen. The red fabric just barely hid what was necessary, a slight shimmer in every detail that only accentuated your beautiful curves.

The sight made him groan as he felt his grimey pants tighten at the sight. He almost didn’t even want to touch you, didn’t want to ruin such a beautiful sight before him, but that’s what phones were for. Snapping a photo quickly, the raven haired boy quickly ripped his shirt from over his head and crawled into bed towards you.

He knew you were in a deep sleep since you didn’t even twitch as the bed dipped beneath you. A part of him couldn’t help but admire each adorable huff that slipped from your parted lips.

As much as he wanted to pull you close and fall asleep, the sinful painting before him was sabotaging any hopes of that. If you wanted to be a little tease, he would have to treat you like one.

Warming his hand up a bit, he grabbed a handful of your ass cheek, squeezing at the plush skin before laying a playful slap against it.

Surprisingly the initial grab didn’t seem to fully wake you up, but the harsh slap certainly did. Your eyes shot open, immediately looking around for whoever made your ass begin to sting until you were met with mischievous cerulean eyes.

Your once shocked expression melted into one of frustration, your brows knitting together and your lips pinching into a pout as you shoved him away with folded arms.

“You’re an asshole Dabi, you know that?” You say, though you can’t fight the grin that’s forming in the corner of your lips as he begins to crawl towards you again and hover over you, “Nearly scared me to death.”

Dabi simply smirked down to you, chuckling as your still tired eyes struggled to remain angry with him as he ran his warm hand up your thighs.

“C’mon that’s not very fair, is it doll?” Dabi questioned as his eyes began to drink in your attire once more before smirking up to you, “I fucking told you what happens when you tease me like this.”

You had to fight the mewl that threatened to spill from your lips, your hand grabbing his wrist before it made contact with your surely dripping underwear. His glowing cerulean eyes glared up at you through the dark, but you held your ground as you huffed at him.

“This wasn’t for you.”

At this Dabi raised a brow, a mix of anger and confusion bubbling in his chest as if to wonder who this was all for then.

“Okay well it was kind of for you,” You corrected, sitting up a bit so you could be more level with the man, “But I only had it on because of my show today.”

Dabi’s eyes widened in realization, understanding why you all of a sudden had a brand new lingerie set. This must’ve been what your big event was, how he had forgotten about a lingerie show of all events was beyond him.

“I wore it home, thinking I would surprise my boyfriend with it,” You hissed, the sound making Dabi wince internally as he struggled to meet your gaze, “But sure enough he wasn’t even there for it.”

Dabi let out a growl, his hand squeezing at your thigh before tugging you a bit closer to him as he looked at you with mildly apologetic eyes, “Work got a bit complicated.”

Looking him up and down, you felt your eyes soften just a bit as you took in his exhausted features. You had no doubt that he was telling the truth, you just wish he would tell you more about what his work entailed.

“Wait a fucking minute, does that mean a whole crowd saw you like this?”

The familiar possessive growl made your eyes roll, the sight making Dabi seethe with anger at your bratty response. Clearly two days was long enough for your little attitude to come back.

Beyond that, the fact that possibly hundreds of people were able to see what was his, all wrapped up pretty in this lingerie made him even angrier. Probably a bunch of pervs and rich old people.

Maybe he should’ve made his victim suffer even more for missing out on this.

Before he could advance forward, your foot landed firmly on his chest stopping any movements. An unimpressed brow was raised as you gave him a knowing look.

“Ah ah ah handsome,” You purred, the sound literally making the man before you growl as you smirked at him, “If I can’t get mad about your job, then you can’t get mad about mine. Remember?”

His own words escaping your lips made him huff in frustration. You were right, but that didn’t make it any better. Your smugness also wasn’t helping your case either.

Grabbing at your ankle, he yanked your foot away and dragged you beneath him roughly, causing a quick giggle to escape your lips as he glared down at you.

“Sorry I couldn’t make it to your show dollface.” Dabi spat, trying his best to mean the apology when all he wanted to do was fuck that snarky little brain dumb.

You saw the fire in his eyes, but you wanted to torment him just a bit longer before he lost it. Although you knew the consequences of whatever this secret job was, you were still mad he was away from you for so long.

“S’okay, I know you couldn’t have come anyway.” You mumbled, your gaze breaking away from his own.

Your words stung in his chest, leaving a sour taste in his mouth. He knew there was no venom in your words, but regardless he knew how much it hurt you that he could never come to support you in person due to his secret profession.

“Don’t be like that, you know I want to.” Dabi says sternly, grabbing your cheeks to force you to look at him once more.

Though your lips were already squished together between his fingers, he could still see the pout forming on your lips when you stared up into his cerulean eyes.

“It would make me feel better if you just told me what you did.” You said softly, your confession making his heart melt though he refused to show it. Even if he wanted to, there’s no way he could tell you.

It would ruin your career. It could possibly ruin your relationship. It could even ruin his career. Those were all risks he couldn’t take.

“Doll.” Dabi growled threateningly, giving you a glare of warning at your persistence, “We talked about this.”

Much to his surprise, you dared to roll your eyes at him for the second time in one night. After the hell of a two days he’s had, he was going to enjoy shutting up that smart mouth.

“I’m sorry did you forget your manners the whole two fucking days I’ve been gone?” Dabi growled, releasing your cheeks as he looked down to you incredulously.

Though you felt your heart flutter at the change in his tone, you tried to hold out for as long as possible, “You were the one that left me for two days-”

Before you could finish your sentence, his warm hand was now around your neck, squeezing just enough to make you gasp as he looked down to you with sinister eyes.

“And just like that, you’ve lost your talking privileges!” Dabi snarled with a grin, the sight making your eyes widen as you felt your legs begin to press together, a sight that didn’t go unnoticed by Dabi.

A rough knee forced your legs apart before rubbing against your warm core, causing a warbled mewl to escape your lips as he laughed down to you.

“This is why I hate that flashy fucking job of yours, it goes all to your damn head,” Dabi sneered, flicking at your forehead, “But that’s okay, each and every time you forget your manners I’ll happily fuck them right back into you, yeah?”

The feeling of his fingers now ghosting over your warmth had you bucking your hips up, a whimper escaping your lips when he somehow squeezed tighter around your throat.

“Dabi.” You whined, plump lips parted as his fingers continued their soft torture along your folds. He couldn’t hold out for much longer, and you both knew that. “You gonna talk back to me dollface?”

You looked into his eyes and quickly shook your head, giving him a pleading look through those glossy lashes that went straight to his cock.

“That’s my good girl,” Dabi spoke, releasing your throat as you began to cough and gasp for air. He might have been rougher than he should, but he had a tough few days.

“D..Don’t leave marks you dick, I have a shoot tomorrow-” You hissed now that you were able to breathe, but your words were cut short once again as he shoved three of his fingers down your throat.

“Like I give a fuck, I hope all those fucks see who the hell owns this slutty little throat,” Dabi growled, shoving his fingers deeper till he nearly felt the back of your throat, “Clearly you still haven’t learned your lesson.”

Tears danced down your cheeks now at the uncomfortable feeling, a cry of pleasure escaping your lips when you felt his fingers plunge into you without much of a warning.

“Knew you were being a brat on purpose,” Dabi hissed, smirking down to you as your cheeks flushed with embarrassment, “You’re fucking sopping down there, all because I choked you, huh? Slutty girl.”

His crude words made your face feel like it was on fire, your moans being muffled by his fingers as his pace began to speed up, rubbing at your clit roughly.

“Shit, are you about to cum already?” Dabi questioned, a mocking laugh filling the air before he narrowed his eyes down to you, “Poor baby, probably tried to get off with those tiny fingers of yours while I was gone, didn’t you?”

As soon as you tried to nod he barked out more laughter, speeding up his minstrations causing you to squirm beneath his touch. Just before he could threaten your release, he felt you tighten around his fingers as your body began to convulse beneath him. “Did you just fucking cum?”

Even when he removed his fingers you just mewled at his questions, trying to rub your thighs together as you twitched down from your high.

“You selfish little brat, you really did miss me didn’t you?” Dabi sneered with a smirk, forcing your lazy head to look up at him.

When you could barely respond he let out a groan, moving quickly to undo his belt as your eyes lazily watched him.

“Did I fuck you dumb with my fingers alone? You’re so adorable doll.” Dabi cooed in a condescending tone, his finger grabbing your face once again to keep you focused, “Unfortunately for you, I’m just getting started.”

The morning air stung at your raw skin before your eyes could say good morning to the warm sun trying to seep through your curtains.

Memories of last night’s events had you shivering, your body processing the new feeling of an arm tightly wrapped around your waist.

Moving your head slightly to the side, you felt your heart warm at the sight of your boyfriend’s drooling face beside you. You loved watching him sleep. It was one of the few rare moments you had to see his face soft, void of any emotion. No anger, smugness, lust, sadness: just his soft two toned skin finally at rest.

Moving to sit up a bit, you let out a groan when a sharp pain shot to your hips. Glancing beneath the sheets, your eyes widened at the sight of purple bruises now adorning your normally flawless skin.

Jutting your lip out, you glared back to your peaceful boyfriend.

“You’re such an asshole.” You whispered more to yourself, but the smile on your lips betrayed your words.

Normally moving out of bed would elicit a growl from your lover, his arms moving you impossibly closer to him so you couldn’t escape his hold, but he genuinely seemed exhausted from whatever job he returned from.

Taking advantage of this, you gently wrapped his arm around your pillow before sliding out of bed and shuffling to your bathroom.

The cold marble of your floor made you hiss, always the worst type of wake up call, but it was soon replaced with a moan when you reached the heated floors of your bathroom.

Upon your presence, the lights of the bathroom turned on to put your naked figure on full display. Your jaw dropped to see more colors of the rainbow adorning your skin, all the way up to your jawline.

“Damn you Dabi.” You hissed, a bite to your words this time as you ran your fingers along your raw skin. Of course, you deserved every bit of it knowing you were testing his already thin patience last night, but you knew your agent was going to kill you.

He was always going on about how you needed to find a new boyfriend, but he never quite understood the masochist in you loved this sort of treatment.

The thrill of knowing Dabi would protect you with his life, but also treats you like his play thing thrilled you. The two of you were somehow more compatible then you should be,

Honestly your only problem with Dabi was this second life he seemed to hide from you. It’s not that you didn’t trust him, as he’s never once tried to lie or hold secrets from you. It’s just that you could tell it was inadvertently hurting him. You knew the jealousy he felt each time you left for work.

Though you weren’t a huge fan yourself, a large part of the job was being observed by millions. Touched by millions, intimate with millions, seen by millions. And though you’ve gotten used to the unfortunate treatment of the modeling industry, Dabi has not.

You know he would never tell you to quit, whether that be for your sake or for his ego’s sake, but you know so badly how he wants to be there with you. To be your menacing guard dog and make sure you were being treated nothing short of royalty.

But for some reason, he had to stay out of the public eye.

By the looks of it, whatever his profession was seemed a bit shady. You tried many times to tell him that the press wouldn’t care, and that there were many shady people in your line of work too, but he just kept saying it wasn’t the same.

Letting out a sigh, you finished your morning skincare routine, deciding you would cover up your happy little accidents from last night later.

Just as you had expected, his clothes were sprawled all over the ground. He clearly had little patience last night.

Shuffling over to your closet, you snatched one of his clean shirts and shoved it over your head, glancing at him to make sure he wasn’t awake before moving towards the living room.

A small chuckle escaped your lips when you noticed his boots and coat haphazardly thrown near the hamper. How you didn’t hear his surely loud entrance, you weren’t sure.

As you began to warm up a tea kettle, you moved towards his boots to place them on the clean shoe rack you begged him to use, to which he usually would drop his shoes right next to just to see your cute face scrunch up in frustration.

Next you grabbed his coat, moving across your cold floors to the laundry room to place the dirty article in the washing machine along with your own dirty fabrics.

The minute you pressed start, you froze when you saw red splotches covering where you once pressed the start button. Glancing down to your hand you let out a not-so-quiet gasp when you saw crimson adorning your fingertips.

Immediately you paused the washing machine, yanking out Dabi’s jacket before biting at your lip at the sight. How had you not seen the thick gooey blood dried all over the front of his jacket? A small part of you grew anxious wondering whose blood it was, his or someone else’s?

“Are you always this invasive with my shit, doll?”

The scream that escaped your lips when you felt his warm hands grab at your stomach made him chuckle, your body whipping around to see him already smirking down to you.

He loved the face you always made when he scared you like this, as if he had caught a child stealing from the cookie jar.

Looking into the scene before him further, his eyes darkened when he saw his coat in your hands, your soft fingertips coated with that filthy rat’s blood from last night.

“What did I tell you about touching my stuff Y/n?” Dabi husked, snatching the coat from your hands before shoving it back in the washing machine and slamming the start button.

Though your lips twitched, wanting to ask him a million questions, you instead let him spin you around before pinning your hips against the counter, his own hips digging into your own as he turned the sink on and aggressively washed both of your hands.

The sight of that man’s blood on your delicate little hands... his delicate little hands.

“Don’t ever fucking do that again.” Dabi whispered coldly into your ear, both his words and the feeling of his warm breath against the shell of your ear causing you to shiver while he dried both of your hands off.

Nodding against his chest, you slowly turned around to look at him, your glossy eyes peering up at him through your lashes which made his jaw stiffen at the sight.

“That.. that wasn’t your blood… right?”

The minute those soft words were whispered from your lips, Dabi felt his body tense as he looked down at you. Of course you weren’t worried about him being mad at you. You were just worried about him. Like you always were. Always putting his shitty needs before your own.

“Course not, princess.” Dabi said softly, his stern features melting into lazy kind ones as his hands pressed against the small of your back into his chest, an invitation for you to wrap your arms around him.

He knew you wanted to press further. Ask him what it was, what he was doing, if he was putting himself in any danger. But instead you just held him close, allowing yourself to trust in him and know he would never put you or himself in that situation. Knowing you should listen to him like he always tells you to do; never question him.

Just like his sweet angel should.

“You’re too pretty to worry dollface,” Dabi cooed, his fingers now digging into your hips which caused you to hiss as he lifted you up on the cool counter, “Aw, are you sore?”

Though still glossy, your eyes narrowed into a glare as the shit eating smirk appeared on his lips, referring to the fresh bruises along your hips.

“You know my agent is going to kill me, right? I told you I have a shoot today! It’s my last for a full week, you couldn’t have waited a day?”

Dabi only chuckled down to you, voice dripping in smugness as his fingers gently gripped at your chin, “Maybe you shouldn’t have dressed up all pretty for me like a slut last night baby.”

Though he wasn’t wrong, you also were planning on him coming home much sooner so you could lay out some ground rules. He definitely took advantage of your sleepy state.

The minute you attempted to roll your eyes his fingers moved from your chin to your cheeks as he squished them harshly, snarl at the tip of his lips.

“Did our little lesson about manners not click in that dumb head of yours?” Dabi growled, forcing your hips closer to his chest as he grinned wickedly down to you, “Because I’ll gladly review it again for you.”

You hated how your body reacted before your brain could, a whimper softly falling from your lips when his warm hand traveled up your thigh beneath his shirt, but luckily you were able to snap out of it now that you were much better rested.

“I’ll have to take a raincheck on that sir,” You chirped, grinning at his wide eyes at the little nickname, “I have tea on the kettle, and I need to be at that shoot in a few hours!”

Somehow you were able to slip from his hold, most likely thanks to his small period of shock before his grin began to twitch, footsteps following after you causing shrieks of giggles to escape your lips as you ran from his grasp.

You were definitely going to be late.

Exhaustion havoced through your bones, but it wasn’t even close to the excitement you felt surging through you.

After a far too eventful fashion week, your agency granted you a full week to be off and take time for yourself. Though, it was well deserved, especially after today’s shoot.

“Y/n F/n, are you fucking kidding me?!”

The sound of your name being hissed venomously from your agent’s tongue made you cringe. 

Luckily you were able to cover up most of the marks on your neck and chin, but the makeup on your torso must have rubbed off on the walk to the testing site.

“I promise it’s not as bad as it looks, Charles.” You said with a sweet smile as you pulled him in for a professional hug, “Makeup will easily cover it up.”

From behind you, the makeup team confirmed this as they began setting up their spray foundation station, their reassurance making you smile as you looked back to your fuming agent.

You knew it was unprofessional, you really did. And you tried your best for this to not happen often, as your body unfortunately was your entire career. But what annoyed you the most is that your agent seemed to care less about the marks, and more about your partner.

“Same scumbag boyfriend, huh?”

Every part of you wanted to scream at him and storm out, but you really liked this client and knew you could never turn away a holiday shoot like this.

“Charles, you're ever so chipper this morning.” You spoke, offering him the warmest smile you could muster before being dragged off by the makeup team.

The rest of the afternoon went fine. Luckily the hair and makeup teams were just as excited to talk with you, so it helped speed things along. You told them all about your trip with your boyfriend to the mountains, as this would be your first official ‘vacation’ with him.

Little did you know, your agent kept a close ear to your small conversations with each division of the shoot, devising a small plan of his own. 

In the best interest of you, his client, of course.

“Are you all packed Dabi?”

Your cheerful voice sent waves of warmth through Dabi’s chest, his lazy eyes falling on you as you bounced before your tall doorway.

He knew it was cold outside, but you went a bit overboard. Almost every article of clothing you had on consisted of fluffy fabrics, from your earmuffs and beanie, down to your cozy brown boots.

“Probably not as well as you, snow bunny.” Dabi chuckled, the nickname causing you to pout as he flicked at the small fluffy ball on top of your head.

“Don’t be like that, it’s going to be cold up there!” You whined, happily letting him grab your Louis Voution duffles before you opened the door for the two of you.

“I just think it would be smarter for you to wear less, so I damage less of your prissy little outfits.” Dabi sneered with a grin, your head whipping to him with narrowed eyes as you locked your door behind you with the keycard.

“You will not be ruining this outfit, asshole. You can learn to unbutton things like a normal person.”

Dabi only hummed, confirming he certainly would not be doing that before you both made your way down the stairs. Normally you would take the elevator, but Dabi didn’t feel like putting on an entire disguise so you asked for your car to be ready behind your building.

Going down fifteen flights of stairs was never fun, but for Dabi it was worth it. Plus you couldn’t complain much since he decided to hold both of your luggage, not that he had much anyways.

“We’re taking the Tesla?” Dabi questioned, noticing the key card you were fiddling with in your hands, when you nodded warmly he only smirked, snatching it from you with a whistle, “I’m definitely driving then.”

A sharp whine escaped your lips as you tried to take the card from his hands, but even with his hand full with three bags, he managed to escape your swinging arms.

“You drive like a lunatic Dabi! You better not speed in my baby.”

He simply smirked down to you smugly, the sight making you groan before you finally made it to the final floor.

“Your car is ready outback Miss Y/n.” A familiar voice spoke, the sound startling Dabi as he quickly shoved his hood up and jerked his head the opposite direction, “But I must warn you-”

Before he could finish, Dabi shoved all the bags in the bellhop’s arms causing the man to slightly stumble over, “Make yourself useful, will you?”

A small giggle bubbled out of your lips, shooting a playful glare to Dabi’s mischievous eyes, reminding yourself you needed to tip that poor boy extra when you both returned.

As you made your way to the doors, you thought you heard strange noises from outside, but as the bellhop tried to stutter something out, Dabi simply placed his palm on the small of your back and ushered you outside.

Sure enough, those strange noises were your worst nightmare.

A crowd of people suddenly turned to the sound of you and Dabi exiting the building, there was a moment of silence before shouts and cameras began flashing towards both of your directions.

“Y/n! Is this your boyfriend?” “Y/n, is it true that you’re scared to leave your boyfriend?” “Y/n, show us the bruises! Speak your truth!”

The rapid questions caused your head to spin, the quick flashing of cameras making you back up, your boyfriend quickly wrapping a protective arm around you.

“W..What bruises?” You questioned, eyes narrowed until you saw a screen being held up amongst the crowd, your entire body growing rigid as the familiar sight of your skin littered with warm bruises was held up amongst the crowd.

“How did you…” You whispered, eyes wide and horrified until you noticed the familiar outfit in the corner of the photo. That was from today’s shoot…

“Charles.” You growled, the sound of your agent’s name making Dabi’s fists heat with anger. He knew that damn agent of yours was trouble.

Quickly spinning around, you stood before Dabi to try and deflect any view of him from the crowd as you looked at him apologetically, “I’m so sorry Dabi, I think my agent called the press on me. Let’s just go through the front-”

Your words were only half processed by Dabi. He could tell by your tone you were genuinely sorry, this wasn’t your fault. He wasn’t mad at you in the slightest. What he couldn’t ignore though, was the one pair of eyes out of the entire crowd that had been staring at him since he walked out those doors. 

The eyes were wide, trembling. They were filled with fear. Dabi knew exactly what was about to happen.

“That’s Dabi! From The League of Villains!”

The sound of the crowd gasping had your head whipping back, your mouth agape before you glanced back at your boyfriend whose jaw was locked tight.

“L..League of Villains?” You whispered, his eyes finally falling on you for the first time throughout this entire event.

Everything was over. This perfect little life he got too comfortable in. This domestic, sickly sweet lavish life you swaddled him in until he almost forgot who he really was. What he really was.

He wanted to leave you there. Do what he knew was right and make an easy escape to never see you again, but he was in too deep now. He dragged you into this and now this was both of your problem’s. The new onslaught of questions only confirmed this.

“Has Dabi from The League of Villains been holding you hostage, Y/n?” “Are those burn marks in this picture Y/n?” “Someone call the heroes!”

All he really wanted to do was drown. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, like he was about to lose everything he’s ever lived for.

And then your hand wrapped in his own. Your eyes held so much emotion. Confusion, anger, sadness, worry. But one thing he didn’t see was fear. And your words only confirmed that.

“I’m not scared of you Dabi.” You whispered, two tears dancing along your cheeks as your lips quivered, trying to keep a brave face as he looked down at you.

Dabi could feel his own tear ducts growing warm, but that’s not what he needed right now. He needed to get both of you out of here.

With the raise of his arm, flames grew from the tip of his fingertips down to his elbow as he glared at the crowd with sinister eyes.

“Move.”

Screams echoed throughout the crowd, everyone running in opposite directions while still trying to film the two of you as Dabi led you towards your car. He didn’t need to say a word for you to obediently run to the passenger side, Dabi already climbing in the driver’s seat before he sped off, pushing the limits of your car as he sped down the street.

He knew exactly where he was going. The only place he knew that was close enough to reach before those damned heroes showed up.

Every few minutes he glanced at you, and though your breath’s were uneven and your body was slightly trembling, you made no moves to betray him. You didn’t reach for your phone to call the police, you didn’t try to attack him, you just sat and looked forward, your teeth digging harshly into your lip.

He couldn’t imagine how terrified you must have been. Nearly three years of trust flushed away, with possibly the worst kind of betrayal yet. A villain, of all secrets to hide. Of course he wanted to do anything to still keep you in his life, but he knew that wasn’t his choice to make.

Slamming on his breaks, your eyes widened as you looked around, wondering what he was stopping for before your name was growled from his lips.

Looking at him, his cerulean eyes were already on you. The look on his face was one you’ve never seen before. Maybe it was the real monster in him he’s been hiding this entire time. Those cold blue eyes were deathly serious, not a hint of mischief in them.

“We’re not going to the mountains Y/n.”

The words dawned on you, realizing what this was about. This was your final opportunity to exit. To leave the villain before you, and try to operate what damage control you could to get back to the life you’ve always known.

This was your last chance.

You swallowed thickly, feeling your mouth go dry at what this decision meant, and how it would change the trajectory of your entire life. Inhaling sharply, he was surprised to see your head whip up, eyes leveling the seriousness of his own as you nodded.

“Okay.”

Dabi searched. He searched hard, almost hoping he would find any glimmer of doubt in those beautiful eyes of yours, but he found nothing but acceptance.

Looking back forward, Dabi nodded wordlessly and sped off towards the one place he dreaded most.

Home.

[p-artsypants]

Down to the Soul (1)

In Which Hiccup is Cursed

“During a winter hiatus from the Edge, Hiccup goes off exploring the icy wastes. He finds more than he bargained for when a witch attempts to steal his soul. Now an emotionless husk, Hiccup must depend on Astrid and Gothi to delve deep within him and unlock the aspects of his personality he’d rather keep hidden. 

Meanwhile, the rest of the riders test Hiccup on how emotionless he really is.”

Ao3 | FF.net

I started writing this fic a long ass time ago. It’s the first HTTYD fic I’ve written in a while, and you know, it’s basically a character analysis fic. It’ll be great! 

Honestly, I hope you all enjoy it and if you can figure out what early 2000’s cartoon and early 2010’s video game this fic is inspired by, you’ll get a cookie.

Takes place during RTTE before official Hiccstrid.

—

Harsh Winter. The harshest part of the winter. Obviously. 

It was predicted that this Harsh Winter would be the harshest winter in over a decade, as predicted by farmers and partially by Gothi. So it was for that reason that Stoick called Hiccup and the other riders back from the Edge just before Snoggletog. Hiccup was not going to argue this decision, knowing that being home where there were plenty of rations and the safety of the Great Hall was a good idea for the impending storms. While freedom was good to stretch responsibilities, it was overrated in the face of freezing to death. So the Riders battened down the edge, making sure the native dragons had safe shelter, and returned home to Berk for the month.

Snoggletog was lovely. Gifts were given, songs were sung, and yaknog was barfed. Astrid even managed to sneak Hiccup a sweet kiss to the cheek after he gave her a dagger with a blade that flipped into the handle. Yes, it seemed that everyone was happy to be home for the time being. 

But, of course, the reason they had left Berk in the first place was to get some independence. Being back in a village, surrounded by vikings, many which they were related to, caused tensions to rise among the riders. 

“Hiccup!” 

Of which the leader was hardly able to get a break. 

“Hiccup, we need you to settle a disagreement,” said Mulch, with a crying Bucket at his side. 

Hiccup sighed. “Why can’t you ask my father?”

“We tried to, but it’s hard when he’s involved!” 

“Okay. Lay it on me.” Hiccup took a seat near the fireplace and listened. 

“Stoick’s had us breaking our backs hauling fish barrels up the hill. He says that since we’re the fishermen, it’s our job to do it!” 

“He has a point.” 

“But it’s hard work in all this snow! We need help!” 

“Did you, perchance, ask anyone if they were willing to lend a hand?” 

“No one wants to get out in the snow to help. We asked Stoick to rally people to help us, and he said that it’s our job to get help and that he can’t force people to help!” 

“So what do you want me to do?”

“Either make Stoick get help for us, or get some others to help.” 

“I’m so tired!” Cried Bucket. 

“Well, you guys know I can’t force Stoick the Vast to do anything. And it’s not really my position to tell the villagers what to do. I don’t have the authority.” 

Bucket and Mulch folded their hands together and resorted to the vilest of tactics. Begging.

“Please Hiccup? If we don’t get help, we won’t be able to refill the food supplies in time. It could hurt the village and the dragons…” 

Hiccup considered this, and as the guilt churned in his stomach. “Well, Toothless and I can help.” 

“Oh thank you! Thank you, thank you!” 

And that’s how Hiccup spent one of his so-called vacation days doing the arduous task of rolling a dozen fish barrels uphill. Thankfully Toothless did twice that, or it would have been a week long project. 

Hiccup returned home in a foul mood and a frozen leg. 

“There you are, Lad. Haven’t seen you all day! Get stuck waiting for a storm to pass?”

“No,” he groaned, falling into a chair. “Toothless and I were helping Bucket and Mulch move their fish barrels.” 

“What?!” Shouted Stoick, with real fury in his eyes. 

This startled Hiccup. “Uh…they said they asked you for help and you said you couldn’t force anyone to help them—“ 

“That is not what happened!” 

Hiccup winced at the shout. 

“Sorry son, I’m not mad at you. Not at all! I’m pissed with them! What did those lazy knuckleheads say that got you to help?” 

“Um, they said that they were overwhelmed and needed help…for the sake of the village and dragons.” 

“I knew it! I knew it, Hiccup! They played you like a fiddle! Rode on your emotions! Cut right to the heart! The reason why no one is helping them is because they made the mess in the first place.” 

“They made a mess? I thought they were…” 

“Didn’t you find it odd that you were bringing the barrels up from the docks instead of over from the store room?” 

“Huh. I didn’t really think about it…” 

“We all worked together and brought the barrels from the store room over to the Great Hall. Bucket and Mulch were supposed to secure them with a net so they wouldn’t get knocked over in a huge gust of wind. They decided to not follow my instructions and the barrels were not only knocked over, but rolled down the hill and into the sea. They then had to go out and retrieve them and put them back. Thankfully the water was frozen over so they didn’t float away.” 

Hiccup closed his eyes in resignation. He had been played indeed. 

“I should have told you, but I didn’t think you’d care. Looks like you actually cared too much.” 

“I just felt guilty.” 

“Aye. But sometimes a Chief has to put his emotions on a shelf to get things done. And that’s an arduous task.” 

“Harder than pushing a dozen barrels up a hill?” 

“Can be. Depending on the emotion. But, this was a learning experience. Take it as a gift.” 

“Yeah, builds character and muscle, right?” 

“Mostly muscle.” 

—

There were still a few weeks left of their quarantine. The blizzards had only continued, making flying a difficult, if not impossible, activity. 

But Hiccup, being the person he was, couldn’t sit by restlessly. Even the coldest days couldn’t dissuade his penchant for adventure. Cabin fever set in, and he was aching to ride. And so, one morning, he let his father know that he was going out exploring for the day. Stoick wanted to protest, but after seeing that look of wanderlust in his eyes, he knew it was fruitless and let his heir go.

Hiccup asked the other riders to see if they were up for exploring in the white landscape with him. 

The answer was a unanimous ‘hell no’.

And a ‘please be safe’ from Astrid. 

So off Hiccup went on his own, for once not having to babysit his teammates. It was just like old times. Just a boy and his dragon. 

The North wasn’t often a direction traveled in the winter, especially since dangers were often found there. But Hiccup didn’t mind. He bundled up in furs from head to toe, ready to brave whatever was to come. 

For a while, it was just ice. The islands were fairly barren and devoid of life in this miserable climate. But Hiccup pressed on, just content to ride with his best friend. 

Toothless grumbled. 

“What’s wrong, bud?” 

The dragon spotted an island down below, hidden within the ice and drifting snow, and prepared to land. 

“Oh, you want to stop there?” Hiccup adjusted the tail, following Toothless’ lead. 

Upon landing, Hiccup slid off of the dragon’s back and into the snow. Immediately, Toothless bounded over to a tree and lifted his leg. 

“Oh I see,” Hiccup said with a snort. “I thought I told you to go before we left!” 

Toothless merely grumbled and shifted behind the tree. 

“Fine fine, take your time.” He waved him off. 

Looking around, Hiccup couldn’t remember which island this was. It wasn’t very big, certainly not big enough for any dragons to inhabit. It was rather light on trees too. He wondered if it was mostly rocky in the summer.  

“I’m going to take a look around,” Hiccup called to his companion as he wandered off. 

The island, or rather islet, was divided by a narrow gorge, nearly right through the middle, east to west. It was dark at the bottom, and was impossible to gauge how deep. The wind whistled along the crack, making the depth howl with deep notes. Hiccup followed it, walking along the edge until he found a point safe enough to cross. 

Carefully, he stretched across the divide to reach the other side, but his leg slipped on the icy rock and he fell down the crack with a shout. He tumbled down a slope and landed at the bottom on his back. “Ow, gods dammit.” 

He sat up, rubbing his head. There’d be a bump there tomorrow. Surveying the slope he fell down, he found it too steep to climb back up. “Toothless! Toothless!” He called. 

There was no reply. 

Well, he’d have to find another way up. The gorge was long, and perhaps had a less steep slope further down. So he started his walk, going deeper and deeper into the caves.

“How did I miss this?” He said aloud, studying the particular landscape. The rocky cliffs were dotted with large geodes and crystals, huge, sharp and colorful. The faint light from above reflected in the crystals, sending little fragments of color all over the walls and floor. 

“Wow…this is beautiful…” 

Suddenly, he was grabbed from behind, as a hand clapped over his mouth. He fought against the hands but to no avail. His captor dragged him through a crack in the wall, into the island itself, through the caves, further and further into darkness. Finally, they reached an open room. A grotto with a waterfall on one side, now frozen completely in winter. Once brought in, he could see the room was alight with candles. A circle was drawn on the floor with red paint and inscriptions decorated the outside. 

Hiccup trembled at the sight, this was something evil. Something spoken of very rarely, and only of a warning as a sign to run. Pagan magic of the most ancient, but most cruel and forbidden. 

“You have arrived,” A woman said. She looked ancient, older than Gothi. And she pointed at him with a crooked finger. “I knew you’d come here. I saw it myself. This place would be where you’d be separated from those who would protect you. All alone, for the first time in years. And so I will have you for myself.” 

Hiccup fought, throwing himself backwards at the person holding him, but they didn’t budge. A rope wrapped around his wrists painfully, as a cloth substituted the hand on his mouth. 

He was turned around, and a knife shredded his coat and shirts, exposing his chest. The person who was holding him was a man, a viking, who was pale and emotionless, his eyes gray. Craning his head around, Hiccup could see others around him in the same state. All emotionless. All watching. No mercy, no fear, no excitement.

Empty.

“I will add you to my collection. You…with the most radiant soul I’ve beheld. Half viking chief, half dragon…” 

Hiccup’s eyes widened as she approached him with a little pot with red liquid. She dipped her finger in, and drew a sigil over his heart. 

“I’ll have that soul,” then she beckoned the man to bring Hiccup forward to the circle. All the while, he struggled, yelling through the cloth. 

The woman began chanting in a foreign tongue, each word sending shivers up his spine. 

He was tied down to stakes secured to the floor. He now lay in the center of the circle, heat radiating off of the stone that should have been cold. 

The evil woman held up a black crystal, one that would shine purple in the light. 

She kept chanting and a little spark appeared on his chest, right over the sigil, and Hiccup began to feel faint. 

A blue wisp, like smoke, rose from his body and curled its way into the crystal, making it glow very faintly. 

The woman chanted louder, her voice echoing with triumph as, what was assumably, his soul left him.  

But as the soul still emerged, a roar cut through the cave as the crystals exploded in a shower of blue light. 

“MMHHMMM!!!” Hiccup called with all his strength. 

The Nightfury swept into the scene and knocked the woman and her helpers down. He bit through the ropes that bound Hiccup and roared at him to board.

Hiccup stumbled forward, kicking the crystal away from the vile woman. “Grab that!” He commanded Toothless.

Toothless snatched the stone in his mouth as Hiccup clambered into his saddle. 

“No! No my soul! My beautiful soul! You ruined it! Now neither of us will have it! No no no!”

Hiccup didn’t have the time to consider, or even care about her inane ramblings. He clicked his foot into place, and they ran. 

Toothless easily scrambled up the side of the gorge, and then they were in the air. 

Hiccup swore he could still hear the woman’s anguished cries. 

When his heart slowed down from the adrenaline rush, he felt numb and tired. Neither scared nor relieved. Just a dullness that made him feel sleepy. 

“Still got that crystal, bud?” Hiccup leaned forward. 

Toothless pushed the crystal into his hand with his tongue. 

It was dripping with slobber, and yet Hiccup felt no disgust towards it. Really, he felt nothing as he looked at the rock, but something in his mind was yelling at him to hang onto it. 

What he did feel, however, was very cold, since his shirt had been ripped and his skin was exposed. 

“Let’s get to warmth quickly, okay Toothless?” 

Toothless warbled in agreement, and they hurried back to Berk. 

When they landed at the Great Hall, Hiccup went inside quickly and sought out the fireplace. 

“Yo Hiccup!” Called Snotlout from a nearby table. It looked like he, the twins, and Fishlegs were playing cards. “How was it in the blizzard?” He laughed. 

“Cold,” said Hiccup flatly. “I think I was almost enslaved by a pagan witch, but I’m not sure. Toothless saved me.” 

The complete nonchalance had the twins in stitches. “Good one Hic! So nothing to report really, huh?” 

“What do you mean? I’m dead serious.” He turned and showed the painted mark on his chest. 

“Whoa!” Said Fishlegs, standing from the table. “Are you okay?” 

“I hit my head when I fell down a gorge. I think I may have a goose egg. It’s a little tender.” 

“But didn’t she like…curse you?” He wiggled his fingers. 

“I don’t know. I think she might have trapped part of my soul in a crystal.” He walked over to the table and showed the rock to his friends. “See? It’s kind of glowing. But it wasn’t before she did this weird ritual.” 

“You’re awfully calm about this…” said Snotlout with skepticism. 

Hiccup screwed up his lip, considering. “Hmm. I suppose you’re right. I probably should be more concerned.” 

“Hiccup!” Astrid burst open the door to the great hall, snow trailing in behind her. “You’re back!” 

“Hello Astrid. Yes, I arrived back a short time ago. I’ve been warming up.” 

“Okay, what happened?” She set upon inspecting him. “Oh my gods is that blood?” 

“No. Just paint. I think. Well maybe. It might be blood. Not my blood.” 

“Apparently, our dear Hiccup was almost enslaved by a pagan witch,” provided Tuffnut. “Show her your rock, Hic.” 

Hiccup held out the crystal to Astrid. “It was black, and then she did a ritual and this blue stuff came out of me and went into this crystal. Then Toothless saved me.” 

“Blue stuff? What inside of you is blue?” 

“She said she wanted my soul. So I guess it’s that.” 

Astrid held the crystal delicately after he said that. The potential that she was holding Hiccup’s very soul in her hands… “shouldn’t we take you to Gothi’s?” 

“Why? I’m not in any pain.” 

“But…you’re acting weird.” 

“How so?” 

“Flat. Dull. It kind of feels like I’m talking to a brick wall.” 

“Hmm. I don’t know. I am tired. Maybe after a nap I’ll feel better.” 

“And if not, we’re going to Gothi’s okay?” 

Hiccup stared at Astrid, suddenly struck by the realization that he couldn’t read her. He was usually so perceptive and pretty empathetic to humans and dragons. But right now, he was at a loss. She was somewhere between sad and angry. Or maybe afraid. Not happy at least. 

This should be a cause for alarm, but it wasn’t. He even knew that he should be feeling panicked, but he was calm. Neutral. 

“Yeah, maybe after the nap. I’ll let you know if there’s any change.” Without much of a goodbye, Hiccup called for Toothless and they wandered back into the snow. 

“He’s a zombie,” Snotlout stated. 

“Yeah, major weirdo,” agreed Tuff. “Normally he’s all goo-goo eyes when Astrid walks into a room but today it was like he was looking at a stranger.” 

Astrid blushed despite the knot in her chest. Tuff was right, though she hadn’t noticed before. There was a light missing from Hiccup’s eyes and she intended to get it back. 

—

When Hiccup awoke three hours later, he felt worse. No, that’s not quite right. He felt less. 

Was the world always this gray? 

Hungry, he got up from the bed and climbed downstairs. There, Toothless was sitting with his father.

“Evening lad,” Stoick greeted without looking up. “The kids said you were napping and that you got in a fight with a witch?” 

“Yes. That’s right. She wanted my soul, or something. I’m not sure.” 

“Well, you’re home safe and that—“ Stoick halted as he looked up. 

Hiccup was so pale, so ashen gray, he looked like a corpse. His eyes were dull, and face blank. 

“Son?” 

“Yeah?” There was no inflection in his words. 

“How do you feel?” 

“Hungry.” 

“Well, I have some soup on, it’s not ready yet. But besides that. You look awful.” 

Hiccup shrugged, “I feel fine.” 

There it was again. His father was looking at him with an emotion he couldn’t grasp. Somewhere between sadness and anger. Perhaps both? Smad. Sangry? 

“How do you feel?” Hiccup had to ask, because he couldn’t tell. 

“I’m concerned. You look really sick. What did you say happened with this witch?”

Hiccup went back upstairs and grabbed the black crystal that he had left on his bedside. It looked to be glowing brighter now, if that was possible. He gave it to Stoick, who stared with concern. “It happened rather fast. I think she had some sort of future sight. She said the island I was on would be the first time I’d be alone in years. Toothless was peeing, and I journeyed away from him to explore. I fell down a gorge, and she was waiting there. She said she wanted my soul, because it was radiant. So she marked me with this paint,” he gestured to his chest that he hadn’t wiped off yet. He didn’t really care about it. “Then she took me to this circle with weird markings and chantings…then she held up this crystal and a bunch of blue stuff came out of me and went into it. I don’t think she took my whole soul, because Toothless saved me.” 

Stoick stared at him, his jaw dropped. “Son…” 

“But I feel fine,” Hiccup repeated. “So, nothing to do about it.” 

“Define fine,” Stoick demanded.

Hiccup paused to consider. “Gray, is the best way to describe it. I don’t really feel anything. I can feel cold, hot, hungry, and tired…but that’s all. At least right now. Maybe it will get better.” 

“I’m taking you to see Gothi!” Stoick wrapped an arm around him and tried to corral him out the door. 

“Why? Isn’t this a good thing? Viking’s shouldn’t let their emotions interfere with their decisions.” 

“Aye lad, but sometimes emotions are more than just a distraction. They make us human. You don’t want to lose that, do you?” 

Hiccup was quiet for a while, too long for Stoick’s taste. Then he said, “I don’t mind never being sad or angry or scared.” 

“But never being happy? Never being in love?” 

“If memory serves me correctly, being in love and not in loved in return was also not a good feeling.” 

“Why are you focusing on all the bad feelings, son? Didn’t you once tell me that flying on the back of a dragon at sunset was the best feeling ever? Won’t you miss that?” 

“I…I guess so.” 

“You guess?” 

“I can’t feel melancholy or regret right now either.” 

“But you remember what it feels like to do those things, right?” 

“Yes, but I can’t say I miss it. I don’t feel that emotion of missing something.” 

“Alright,” said Stoick, raising his hands defensively. “Appealing to your missing emotions isn’t going to work. But you know something is wrong, right? There is something wrong with you and the rest of us want to fix it.”

“Why?”

“Why?! Hiccup, son, we love you! That doesn’t stop because you don’t love us anymore!”

“I love…you guys…” he said it stiltedly, like he wasn’t quite sure if it was true. 

There was a knock at the door before Astrid and Gobber came in. 

“Oh good! You’re awake! I couldn’t wait around anymore–Oh my god, Hiccup! You look horrible!” Astrid cried.

“Like a corpse,” added Gobber.  

“See?” Said Stoick. “We love you and we’re worried about you. You should take that as a cue that something is wrong and should be fixed!” 

“He’s not any better?” Astrid asked with dismay. 

“He can’t feel anything.” 

“Oh Hiccup…” she pouted, heart aching for him. 

“Why are you upset? I’m not sad.” 

She reached for him and took his hand. “Hiccup, it’s not that I don’t want you to be sad or angry. I want you to be happy. So so happy! I want to see you get excited when you see a new dragon or passionate when you have an invention or a plan. If you stay like this, what drive will you have? Do you have any desires?” 

“Hmm. When you say it like that, it makes sense. I know, morally, I have to do the right things for the tribe and the dragons, but if it brings me no emotion…I get no joy from it or guilt from avoiding it. What would be the point?” 

“I think never feeling happiness again would make for a really miserable existence. You gotta take the good with the bad, lad.” 

“Okay. You have all convinced me. Take me to Gothi.” 

—

Up on the hill, the group met with the old medicine woman and told her the story. Hiccup recounted the whole ordeal, from landing on the island to waking up from his nap. The whole time, everyone just listened. 

Hiccup, normally, was a very good story teller. He picked up on details that others missed. He put real emotion into his words and made everyone believe the things he was saying. 

This story was flat, sterile, and clinical. Borderline boring. 

Gothi listened intensely, her eyebrows furrowing deeper with each word. 

Finally, Hiccup handed her the crystal that held his soul. This gave her the most grave look of them all. 

“Yikes lad. Haven’t seen Gothi look this frightened in a while.” 

“Can this not be fixed then?” Hiccup asked her. 

Gothi set the crystal on her potions table and began to scribble in the dirt with her staff. Gobber stood beside her and read over her shoulder. 

“She says ‘that woman soul-trapped you. An ancient ritual that removes the soul from the body so the body becomes a mindless puppet’.” 

“Okay. But she wanted my soul more than my body.” 

“‘Souls can be used in magic for a variety of different things. The more powerful the soul, the more powerful the spell. And Hiccup does have a very powerful soul.’ Well, now we know the why, but do we know how to reverse it?” 

Gothi examined Hiccup’s face closer, staring into his glassy eyes. She then demanded he stare at Toothless. 

“She wants to know what you feel when you look at him.” 

“Hmm…Toothless is my best friend,” he stated matter-of-factly. 

“Not what you know, what you feel.” 

Hiccup knew that he was supposed to love Toothless, but at this moment, he felt…”nothing.” 

Toothless let out a sad whine. 

“Now look at Astrid.” 

Hiccup did as he was told and looked at her. 

“What do you feel, lad?” 

Hiccup watched as Astrid blushed slightly under his stare. He tried to put away all the normal things he knew about her and focus on what he felt looking at her. 

“I seem to be slightly aroused. But that’s all.” 

Astrid looked mortified and halfway near tears. 

“Keep looking at her, lad. Stare until you feel something.” 

The longer he stared blankly at her, the worse she felt. It would be different if he was looking at her with anger or even disgust, but this look…it was like he was looking at a stranger. Like Tuff had said. 

She couldn’t help it. A tear slid down her cheek, but she briskly wiped it away. 

“Why are you sad?” He asked. 

“You’re looking at me like I’m a stranger!” 

“You aren’t. You’re my friend. I trust you.” 

“Can you smile for me?” 

He did. But it looked so fake. 

“I hate this! Fix him Gothi!” Cried Astrid.

“We might as well get on with it. Staring at her isn’t doing anything but making her sad. And I know that making people sad is bad, at least.” 

Gothi nodded and scribbled in the dirt her plan. 

“She says she’s going to make a potion. It will contain the remnants of his soul. The person that drinks it will fall asleep, and in their own mind, they will be able to explore and awaken the parts of Hiccup’s soul that are dormant. That sounds like a tall order to me.” 

“Who’s going to drink the potion?” Asked Stoick.

It seemed that Gothi was not looking for volunteers as she pointed at Astrid. 

“Me?” 

“Well, besides Toothless, you really know the lad best. And as smart as Toothless is, I don’t think he quite understands what’s happening,” Gobber explained. 

“Okay, I’ll do it! But wait…if his soul is going into my body, how will it get back to him?” 

Gothi made a suggestive hand gesture and Stoick and Gobber laughed.

“Makes sense,” said Hiccup.

“Have you no shame!?” Astrid shrieked, red faced. 

“Not currently, no.” 

Gothi scribbled further explanation. “‘His soul will return with prolonged contact. Skin-to-skin, hand holding, kisses, hugs. Whatever is comfortable.’” 

Astrid let out a sigh of relief. She did love him, but since they’ve barely kissed, sex felt like a huge jump. 

Though, taking his soul into her body was pretty significant in itself. 

Gothi went over to her table and began mixing liquids and minerals in a glass jar. She then put the crystal inside and put the lid on. She continued, “‘the soul tea will need to steep for 12 hours. Come back at dawn.’ Soul tea?” 

She held up the jar where the liquid inside was just very faintly beginning to glow the same color as the crystal. 

“Oh, I get it,” said Astrid. “Like regular tea with a tea bag.” 

“‘I will explain the rest of the process in the morning when you return. For now, go away.’”

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

243 of 2022

Reblog | Bold what applies;

A Walk to Remember is my favorite movie of all time. I wear black more than any other color, but I am not gothic. I genuinely care for my friends. I don’t trust people easily. I am female. I do not wear glasses. I have never seen the movie “Phantom of the Opera”. I did not attend preschool as a child. I have an older brother. // man, I wish I am too organized. My shoulders are always hot, but my feet are always cold. This is not the first survey I have ever taken. I am interested in taking psychology classes. I refuse to use any other brand of tissue, besides Kleenex. Easter used to be my favorite holiday. I have an Ipod. My lips are chapped at this moment. I was afraid of the monster under my bed as a child. I have a boyfriend. My birthday is in February. I don’t have a job. I have never left this country. I have cried within the last 24 hours. My fingertips are freezing cold. I have already eaten dinner. Normally I don’t eat breakfast. I really don’t like country music. I have a cat. I have thrown up from crying too much before. I love Sushi. I crack my knuckles often. I’m not in any sports. I play the acoustic guitar, and I love it. I have only been to 2 concerts before in my life. I used to want to be a vegetarian. I get along better with guys. I used to like Pokemon. I am mostly French heritage. // I am, but not mostly Lip rings are arousing. // says the person with two lip piercings lol I had a pet turtle one summer. I get excited about getting new underwear. I need a boost in my self-esteem. I love receiving mail and e-mail. I’ve had a penpal before. I can’t sleep on my back. I just can’t. I hate public bathrooms. I listen to my parents; it’s just that sometimes I really don’t care. Once in my life, I named a pigeon. I laugh when I watch old home videos. I used to be obsessed with the Spice Girls. I once started a fire in my microwave. I really like the name Mathias. // and even more the Dutch version, Thijs. This is the name :D I keep a diary online and a diary on paper. I love reading. The OC is my favorite TV show ever. I’m glad this survey is almost over. I am in the mood to take a shower. I feel like crying when I look at old pictures. I have a very busy day tomorrow. I am in the mood to kiss somebody. Anybody. I might be in love with my best friend. // I know I am I have watched all three High School Musical movies. I don’t think Zac Efron is all that hot, honestly. I don’t even like one single song from any of the three movies. I’ve been involved in a school musical before. I can’t sing to save my life. I am/have dated a basketball player. I know a guy who is almost never seen without a hat/cap/fedora/etc. I hate movie musicals. I hate Disney movies. I know someone who drives a pink car. I made a new friend today. I want to study theatre in college. Brown hair + blue eyes = hotness. // omg blue eyes *o* I’ve written a song before, and I think it was pretty good! I play an instrument pretty well. I’m in a band. I pretty much live in my earphones/headphones. My ringtone is a song from my favourite artist/band. I’d rather watch a horror movie than a romantic comedy. // if forced, I’m not a movie person Animated films still amuse me. I’ve noticed that nobody makes cartoons the old-fashioned way anymore, it’s all CGI. I would love to play in an orchestra. Better still, be the conductor! I wonder if the orchestra players really pay attention to the conductor. I’ve been extremely annoyed at someone in the past 24 hours. I don’t get irritated easily. I wear a ring on my pinky finger. I’d prefer to sing the second voice (harmony) in a choir. Pfft, who wants to sing in a choir when you can go solo. There’s at least one teddy bear in the room that I’m in now. I have something from Build-a-Bear. And it’s not even a bear. I just yawned. I wouldn’t even know it if I were standing right next to a Jonas Brother. The last person I texted is blood-related to me in some way. I’m registered to an official fanclub. I hate it when Youtube videos take forever to buffer. I hate it even more when the title says one thing but the video is another thing altogether! I want Brad and Angelina to adopt me too! I have my own personal blog. // link in description I could never be a model because I love to eat. I know how to play the bass guitar. I listen to Christian music. I’d love to learn how to speak Mandarin Chinese. I’m listening to my favourite song right now! // one of them, it’s about weed lol I’m going to bed within the next 3 hours. I’ve made a bolding survey before. I think it’s easier than making a random survey. I made my Xanga layout myself I can’t stand girls who claim that they will marry their celebrity heartthrob. I laughed at Rihanna’s “Umbrella” the first time I heard it. I must have everything in my favourite colour! I am single. I’ve bought a guy a birthday present before.

[survey--s]

326.

What have you been up to today? Anything interesting? No, not especially. I’ve got a bunch of housework done, watched the first two POTC films (currently halfway through the third one), eaten a bunch of pizza and done a bunch of surveys, lol.

What was the last thing you ate? A caramel wafer bar.

Do you know how to knit? Who taught you? No. My mum tried to teach me when I was younger but I got bored.

What state or territory were you born in? I wasn’t born in a state or territory. I was born in a county that I won’t mention on here.

What’s your favourite genre of music? It really depends on my mood - I like all sorts.

Have you ever been for a ride in the back of a truck? No, that’s not really a thing here - I mean, you’d just get arrested lol.

Are you currently downloading anything? Nope.

Have you seen any good movies lately? Tell me about them. Yeah, Gosford Park which surprised me as it’s not really my thing. It’s a murder-mystery style thing, similar to Clue! I guess. It’s good and kind of a precursor to Downton Abbey which I still haven’t seen, lol.

Does your father have any facial hair? He does - a beard and a moustache. My mum once had a dream that he’d shaved off both and I cried, hahah.

What’s your favourite thing to eat for breakfast? Normally I have croissants or toast as it’s quick, but if I had all the time in the world, I’d have waffles with bacon, for sure.

Did your grandparents teach you anything? Not to rely on alcohol to solve your problems. 

Do you want/have a Bachelor’s degree? I have one but I never use it.

Have you ever written a song for or about somebody? Nope.

Are you into superheroes? Who’s your favourite? Nah, not really. I’ll watch the films but more because they’re just easy viewing.

Spotify, Pandora or something else entirely? I use Spotify.

What colours do you wear the most? Black and grey.

What was the last alcoholic beverage you had? I honestly couldn’t tell you. I don’t really drink - see my answer to the question about grandparents above.

How many televisions do you have in your house? How big is the biggest? We have three. The largest is in the living room and I think it’s 50 inches.

Have you ever been to Arizona? Did you like it? Nope.

Are you a gossip-loving sort of person? I like hearing gossip but I don’t spread it around.

What brand of laptop or computer do you own or use most often? Apple.

What did you have for dinner last night? A sandwich and just a bunch of snacks rather than a meal.

How old were you when you learned to tie your own shoelaces? Maybe four? I remember my dad teaching me before I went to “big school”. I had a doll called Cathy who had shoes with laces and I practised on her.

Have you ever felt like you were making a mistake when dating someone? Oh yes, been there.

When was the last time it rained where you live? Yesterday morning. It absolutely chucked it down.

What brand are the shoes you last wore? Ecco.

Do you think you look similar to your siblings? I don’t have any siblings.

When was the last time you sat in the back seat of a car? Years ago. I get really badly carsick so I always have to sit up front.

Are you good at answering random general knowledge trivia questions? Sometimes, sure.

Have you ever been obsessive over calories, exercise etc.? Yes, temporarily.

What is your favourite shape of pasta? Fusili.

Have you ever played Cards Against Humanity? Did you like it? No.

Are you going to work or school tomorrow? Nope, tomorrow’s Sunday and I typically don’t work Sundays.

When did you wake up today? 6.45ish but I didn’t get out of bed until around 8.30am.

What is the time right now? It’s 3.17pm.

[blue-eyed-bloodstains]

Do you listen to Johnny Cash? no, I only know like one or two of his most popular singles but I respect him a lot, very talented singer/songwriter and a legend If you could live on any other planet, which one would you choose? umm idk? Have you ever visited a haunted house? actual ones? no, though I know for a fact that several ones I’ve lived in growing up definitely were Is it currently nighttime where you are? nope, hitting 7am  Pancakes or waffles? or french toast? french toast

Do you struggle with your weight or body image? every day.... Is there anyone you can honestly say you trust with your life? I can’t even trust myself given suicidal tendencies...but yeah, a few What’s one of your irrational fears, if you have any? hmm I guess that I’ll die in a freak accident...think along the lines of Final Destination kinda thing What’s something you’d like to tell yourself 5 years in the past? to talk Zach out of taking this job when he lands it months later cause he’s barely gonna ever be home,,, What’s the best concert you’ve ever been to? I can’t decide just one so Alexz Johnson, JoJo, Evanescence, Paramore... Have you ever seen a sinkhole in person? not that I can think of What’s the first thing you’d do with $1 million? get a new car, pay off debt, get into college What is something that people would be surprised to learn about you? not sure, I guess my medical issues since it’s not exactly obvious  What motivates you to get out of bed each morning? ha...good one What does a typical day for you look like? mostly curled up on this couch watching Roku, on my phone, yelling at the cat to get off the table, talkin to Mom on the phone several times throughout the day, smoking

What has been your most memorable embarrassing moment? oh god, where to begin lol I’ve got a lot of em, many of which over the last several years I was drunk (at home, rarely anywhere else but a few of those too) When did you last laugh until you cried? it’s been a minute... What is your motto or personal mantra? don’t have one Have you ever purchased something off of a mannequin? no What’s one of your guilty pleasures? watching Public Freakout vids on Youtube :P What’s something that’s on your bucket list? traveling, especially my roots (Italy and Ireland) What makes you laugh the most? stand up comedy

What was the last gift you gave someone? Christmas gifts for my dad and stepmom which I nailed for once! :D What are you most known for? fucking up and being a black out drunken alcoholic If you had to throw a themed party, what theme would you choose? Harry Potter What’s a good karaoke song? depends on the mood and vocals Name a random fact about anything. severe dehydration can actually be fatal What’s your favorite animal? I love all animals What TV show would you like to star in? not like to but I’m honestly surprised I was never on Intervention for drinking.... Do you ever meditate or do yoga? neither Do you ever forget where you put your belongings? sometimes What’s something that gives you a lot of energy? not much  When was the last time you cleaned your bedroom? years Do you know any good riddles? no I suck at them Do you sleep with your door open or closed? open always Have you ever stolen a street sign or traffic cone? no Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? out When was the last time you used a coupon? no idea Do you always smile for pictures? yeah, forced most of the time Do you count your steps daily? no How many hours of sleep did you get last night? been up all night so none Would you ever pose nude for a magazine? hell no When was the last time you felt hot? all the time cause of my CVS, overheat constantly it’s hell What color are your sunglasses? black Is it currently silent where you are? no got music blaring and singing along jamming while I do these lol Have you had a grey cat as a pet before? no Do you own any pink sweaters? no Do you prefer sitting or standing? sitting definitely Do you enjoy fruitcake? I guess, depends on what kind How about cherries? yassss Do you like croc shoes? hell no Do you mind if people pray for you? not really, up to you if you wanna When was the last time you were sick? more like when am I not? CVS fuckin sucks man it’s damn near every damn day chronically and no fuckin treatment or cure so gonna be a lifelong struggle, already had it 8 years so just beginning still :( What is currently on your bedside table? don’t have one Do you suffer from insomnia? severely, yeah What is your safe place? home I guess but when left to my own vices alone more often than not with him out of state for work? wouldn’t exactly say safe... What’s something that makes you cringe everytime you see or hear it? silence...I can’t do it, panic attack and breakdown like a motherfucker  Did you ever used to play pinball? no Do you miss phone calls often? not really, the only one who really ever calls is my mom multiple times every day so  When was the last time you lit a candle? it’s been a minute but definitely need to sometime soon Do you consume a lot of sugar? mostly through drinks yeah, not much food wise What was the last thing you misplaced? one of our remotes How often do you wash your hair? way less than I should Who did you last smile at? my fiance on his way out to the airport for a job on Monday Tell me a story or fun memory. not in the mood What scent is your current hand soap? don’t have one Have you ever had a buzz cut? I shaved my head last summer (2021)  so yeah How much are you willing to spend on shampoo and conditioner? the cheaper the better, as long as it lathers real good cause my hair is thick as hell

[pennylanefics]

Promise - Jacob Black

•••

“He’s asking to see you,” Carlisle says to Bella as he walks out of the house. Upon hearing this, your head shoots up and your eyes widen in curiosity. Why would he want to see her first?

It had been a rough night for everyone. Carlisle spent so long breaking his bones to put them back into place, Jacob’s painful cries breaking your heart each time they rang out. Paul and Embry sat beside you, comforting you when they did. They knew how you felt about Jacob, everyone did. Besides Jacob.

You were hopelessly in love with him, yet he was in love with Bella. He had been for so long, yet he never saw that she didn’t feel the same. Embry always reassured you, though, that Jacob felt something for you as well.

It’s just that Bella was his main focus, his first choice. And you were nothing. That proved to be true when the first person he wants to see after all this is her.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Embry whispers, rubbing your arm, warming you up instantly. You can’t help the tears that fall from your eyes, hating that you loved someone who didn’t love you back.

“No, it’s not, Em. I need to stop, I can’t keep doing this to myself.”

The pack of wolves share looks with one another, hearing Jacob’s thoughts as Bella gets up to leave, their conversation finished. Bella steps outside and looks to you with an awkward grin on her face.

“He wants to talk to you,” she says. Taking a moment, you nod and she leaves, Embry standing with you.

“Are you sure you want to, (Y/N)?” He asks. You nod and take a deep breath. He pulls you in for a hug, Paul doing the same seconds later.

Finally, you slowly make your way inside straight to Jake’s room, which thankfully moved to a larger room in the house than the small back room he was living in.

“Hi,” you murmur, stepping in and closing the door behind you.

“Hey,” he chokes out, struggling to breathe a little. You kneel on the ground next to his bed, not really knowing what to say.

“Were you crying?” He wonders. A low chuckle escapes your mouth and you wipe your cheeks.

“Uh, yeah. It wasn’t easy hearing you scream out like that. Everyone was at least tearing up.”

“Not Bella,” he says in a spiteful tone. You scoff immediately, realizing there was no going back from what you were about to say.

“She doesn’t care about you like that, Jacob. She loves Edward, and it’s time you move on,” you tell him.

“She does care about me. I know she does, she just doesn’t want to admit it because she’s scared.”

“Do you not hear yourself? She’s been with Edward for over a year, and she’s told you multiple times she feels nothing more than a friendship with you. Find someone else, someone who is willing to love you for you, and not because you’re a distraction and only seeing you as a friend.”

“Oh really? Where am I supposed to find someone like that, huh?” You laugh cynically and stand up.

“Right fucking here, Jacob. I have loved you for so long, yet you never saw it because you were so hung up with Bella. And honestly, I’m sick of this. I’m done trying to get your attention, I’m done trying to love you, and I’m done with whatever this is. I can’t keep being around you, reminded of how you will never look at me the way you look at Bella, or how I could possibly be your imprint, based on what Sam says, and how you will never feel the same way for me as I feel for you. It’s exhausting, and quite frankly, it’s not worth it anymore. Goodbye Jacob.”

You turn and walk out, not giving him a chance to explain, fearing that you would fall back into his arms if he even spoke of how sorry he was. You needed time, and you were hoping he would give that to you.

Embry immediately brings you into his arms when you step outside, comforting you as you quietly cry into his shoulder.

“Embry, why don’t you take her home,” Billy tells the young wolf. He nods and pulls away from you, grabbing your hand to take you to his car.

“How did it go?” Embry asks as you start the drive back into Forks.

“I told him he needs to move on from Bella, to find someone else who will love him for him. He got mad because he still believes Bella loves him and will leave Edward.”

“Did you tell him you love him?”

“Yeah,” you whisper. “I told him that someone is right in front of him, but it’s too exhausting to love someone who doesn’t love you back. I left before he could say anything else. I just...need space from him right now.”

“I know I shouldn’t tell you, because this telepathy is kind of invasive, but I hear him kicking himself right now. He’s thinking about how much he ruined your friendship and how awful he feels.”

“He didn’t feel too awful when I, coming to him as a friend, told him that what he is chasing after is no use.”

“I know, I know. But I just wanted to tell you that your words got to him, so you did the right thing.” A small smile breaks out onto your face and Embry notices.

The rest of the drive, you turn the radio on and listen to the soft songs play while you watched the tall trees pass by. When Embry got to your house, he was planning on leaving right away, but you ask him to stay.

“Would you stay with me? Just for tonight?” You ask. He agrees right away, seeing as you’ve gone through a lot within the past couple hours and being alone probably wasn’t the best option.

“We can have a movie night like we used to, before the whole shape-shifting thing,” he smiles, walking inside with you.

“That sounds great. I need a break from everything. I’ll get the popcorn and sodas, you find a movie. Comedy, please.”

“Of course.”

—

The days pass and Embry is now gone. He stayed with you the first couple days after everything happened. He knew you needed some company to lift your mood, and thankfully, he did.

You were much happier and coming to terms with how things ended with Jacob. Embry of course had to tell you what was going on, just so you were in the know. Jake had fully healed by now, and according to Paul, he was planning on visiting you sometime soon.

And that just so happened to be today.

You were doing some chores around the house when a knock sounds on your front door. Pausing your music, you answer it, thinking it’s the delivery man, as you were expecting a package, but to your surprise, you find Jacob.

“Uh, hi,” he mumbles, shoving his hands in his pockets, rocking on the balls of his feet.

“Hi,” you clear your throat, not really knowing what to do or say.

“Um, I wanted to talk to you about what happened,” he begins. Seeing as it was a nice, rainy day out, you step outside, shutting the door behind you, and guide him over to the porch swing.

“What is it that you wanted to say exactly?” You ask, staring forward, not wanting to look at him just yet.

“I was an idiot. I let my emotions get the best of me and didn’t think about anyone else but myself.”

“You got that right,” you mumble to yourself, though Jacob hears.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N). I’m sorry for not seeing that you loved me and being so...caught up in someone else.”

“You don’t need to be sorry about that, Jake. You can’t help who you love. But when it comes down to it, the thing I’m upset about is the fact that even after Bella told you so many times that she doesn’t love you like you love her, you still tried to pursue her. You didn’t let her go like you should have an found someone who actually cares for you.” He nods along to your words, which were very similar to what you said to him a few nights ago.

“I see that now. I got a stern talking from both my dad and Sam, and the rest of the pack, and I can’t believe how horrible I’ve been acting and…” He looks at you, finding you staring at him already. Although you didn’t really want to see him, you still felt some sort of love for him. Watching him talk was so mesmorizing.

His mouth opens and closes as he tries to say something, and he soon realizes what it is. You are in fact his imprint. You feel it too. He’s told you about imprinting before, when he told you about Sam and Emily, and the feeling he described his imprintee would feel, this was it.

“Jacob,” you whisper.

“God, I am so fucking stupid,” he finally breaks the stare to lean his arms on his knees, his head in his hands, disappointed in himself. Your hand comes up to rub his shoulder, making him flinch a little.

“Sorry,” you murmur, removing your hand. Jacob sits back up and shakes his head.

“I just, I can’t believe you’re the one. I’m so dumb.”

“Well, yeah,” you chuckle. “But again, you can’t help who you fall for.”

“Except for I could. I could have dropped Bella, but I didn’t. And I hope you understand how truly sorry I am.”

“Are you sorry for it because you’re sorry for it, or because I’m your imprint?”

“I am sorry for it, and the imprint goes with it because I feel the pain I put you through. I can feel how heartbroken you are, and I hate myself for it.”

“I mean, I’m still not happy about how everything went down, and how you still refused to think Bella wouldn’t leave Edward for you. But, I’m not going to reject the imprint, and I know we can’t be away from each other for long, so we’re going to have to work through this.”

Jacob smiles softly and holds his hand out for you to take. Reluctantly, you place your hand in his, which immediately closes around it.

“I promise to never hurt you like this again. If you give me a chance to love you, or if that’s no longer an option, then I’ll be your protector. You’re by my side forever.”

“Jake, you really did hurt me,” his face falls, nodding his head. “But I can’t say that I don’t love you anymore. All I’ve thought about these past couple days after Embry went to sleep, was you. How I wanted to be spending time with you, but you were in love with another girl.”

“I’ll wait as long as you need me to,” he whispers, squeezing your hand. “If it means we can be together, because I want to give this a chance, a chance to do things right and not have someone else in the way.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. I’ve thought over everything since you left and with Bella out of my mind, I was finally able to think about you. And all the times that we’ve spent together, when I talk about Bella and your face would just slightly fall. I remembered all the little things that you did because you loved me, but I never saw them. But trust me, that part of my life is over. She’s gone, and it’s just us going forward.”

“You promise?” You grin a little. Jacob nods.

“I promise. And I won’t be breaking that anytime soon.” You curl up into his side, your head falling to his shoulder.

“Good. Because she stole too much of our time together and I can’t lose you again.”

“Hey,” he whispers, sitting up and tilting your chin so you look at him. “You’re not gonna lose me. We have this special connection now. And no one is going to steal you from me. Ever again. I mean..”

“Unless it’s our child?” Jacob chuckles, finding it funny that you were thinking the exact same thing, leading him to think that a relationship is very much possible in the future.

“Exactly, darling.”

[reminiscingtonight]

Accidentally In Love

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Word Count: 1948

Anon asked: Heyy!!! I’ve seen all of your posts are si angst! Y love them! Can you please maybe do one with accidentally in love with Wandaxfem!reader?

A/N: Yes, I agree, most of my posts are pure angst. I swear I can write things that aren’t super sad tho. Get ready for a whole lot of pure teeth-rotting fluff. I’m assuming this person wanted “Accidentally in Love” by Counting Crows. Sorry if I did the wrong song. 

I’ve been pretty busy lately and haven’t had much time to write, but pt. 3 of Better By Now is in the works, I promise. Still not quite sure when it’ll be out, but thanks for waiting!

Taglist: @mionemymind

It was all Natasha’s fault. 

Last week the redhead threw a magazine right at your head, one of those trashy gossip magazines that you didn’t know why she read but were honestly too afraid to ask her about. 

To be fair, you thought it was an overreaction. All you had been doing was talking to Nat about the dog you saw when you were out on a walk with Wanda (“I honestly don’t know who was cuter in that moment, the dog or Wanda.”). The only warning you got was a slight twitch of her eye before it hit you in the face. You watched with confusion as Natasha stormed away, exasperatedly sighing something along the lines of ‘read the article and get your shit figured out’ over her shoulder. 

You had rolled your eyes when you caught sight of the article name. 8 Signs She’s in Love with You.

But now you couldn’t think of anything but those eight points.

---

1. She calls you by a nickname

Wanda loves nicknames and pet names. She’s given everyone at the compound one. Tony’s was ‘douchebag’ (it’s not really cute at all but she got a free pass with that one, seeing as he was responsible for her parents’ deaths). Natasha’s was ‘Nattie’ (Natasha’s got a soft spot for the witch. The last time you tried calling her that she threw a knife at your head). Bucky’s was ‘darling’ (you’re not really sure why she calls him that but he blushes every time she does it. You tried it once and he called for Natasha. You ran.)

Come to think of it, you did have a lot more than the others. (Y/N/N), honey, babe… really, it all depended on Wanda’s mood.

---

2. She’s always super touchy

Wanda likes touching people. Simple as that. She once told you that she likes the grounding sensation, the reassurance that the person’s still there (you cried at how sweet that was, but that’s beside the point).

---

3. She always compliments you

Wanda’s literally the nicest person you know. She compliments everyone all the time. Just last week you saw her compliment Peter’s latest upgrades on his web shooters. So many nice things were said that he turned bright red out of embarrassment. She was so confused when you pulled her away from the poor boy before his face could match the shade of his spandex.

---

4. She laughs at your jokes

…You’re funny. You’re willing to fight anyone who disagreed.

(“My grandma can make better jokes than you, (Y/N).” “Shut up, Romanoff. No one asked you.”)

---

5. She always licks her lips

Okay, so you have noticed that Wanda had a habit of licking her lips whenever the two of you are together. But that can be easily explained away. Maybe she just has dry lips.

---

6. She stares at you a lot, especially when you aren’t watching

(“I don’t have eyes in the back of my head, how am I supposed to know this one?”

“Are you serious, (Y/N)? I can’t tell if you’re being purposefully dense. I don’t know anyone other than the two of you that can eyefuck all the time without actually fucking. I can confidently tell you that Wanda looks at you as much as you do her.”

You pause. “But like--”)

Safe to say, the jury’s still out on this one.

---

7. She’s relaxed around you

Out of everyone on the team, Wanda was the most relaxed around you. You had seen her at her worst more times than you could count. You were the first one to reach out to her when she first joined the team, so really it’s no surprise that she trusts you enough to let down her guard in your presence.

---

8. She likes spending time alone with you

Well you sure hoped she did. You guys hang out all the time. But isn’t that something best friends do?

(“Friends hang out maybe two times a week. Not every fucking minute of every fucking day.” “Again, no one asked you, Nat.”

... “But we’re best friends. That’s different...right?”)

---

You couldn’t stop thinking about it. The two of you had been friends ever since Wanda joined the team. Bruce would often joke that you two were attached at the hip, and in a sense he was right, you guys do everything together: missions, coffee runs, clothes shopping. There also wasn’t a single thing that Wanda didn’t know about you, and you about her.

But then again, that kind of meant Natasha was right in calling you out. Somewhere along the lines things did change. You found yourself actively seeking out the young witch’s touch if you were together. You started looking forward to whenever you would see her, and when she was off doing something without you, you were lethargic and mopey. You even treasured the lingering ‘I don’t want to go’ cheek kisses that often accompanied goodbye hugs.

Oh shit. Am I in love with my best friend?

It all came to a head the next day when the two of you went out. Wanda had been complaining about the long week she’s had so you decided to treat her to some ice cream.

Usually you would be ecstatic, pointing at all the flavors and debating which one was the best fit for the day. But today you were silent as you ordered the ice cream, still deep in your thoughts.

“What’s the problem, babe?”

You look up to see Wanda’s concerned face gazing back at you. You shrug. “I don’t know.” Your response earns you a worried look. 

She soothingly grabs your free hand and you feel your heart jump at the contact. “Tell me what’s on your mind?” 

Her words barely register in your mind, as all you can think of is the contrast of temperatures of your two hands. The hand clutching the ice cream cone was stark cold while the other was suddenly burning hot in her warmth.

A part of your mind knows that you’ve been silent for way longer than is socially acceptable, but your brain doesn’t seem to be working at the moment.

You only look up when you feel a small squeeze of your hand. Wanda’s still looking at you, only now her ice cream was offered to you with a slight tilt to her hand. When she doesn’t release your intertwined hands, you gulp with realization that she intends you to lean into her space to taste it. What the fuck?

You don’t miss the way her eyes seem to darken when you lean over to taste the dessert. The flavor of the treat never registers in your mind, as you’re too preoccupied with trying to slow your beating heart down. That, of course, all flies out the window, the second you lean back and see something akin to hunger in her eyes.

“Sorry, you just have…” Wanda trails off, letting go of your intertwined hands, thumb moving to wipe at the corner of your mouth. Any thoughts about missing the warmth of her hand disappears the second she sucks her finger into her mouth.

Your brain short circuits. 

“Stop!” She freezes and you cringe when you see a look of hurt cross her face. “No, sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

Wanda takes a step away from you, and you rush to explain your behavior, not wanting to hurt the brunette’s feelings any more than you already have.

“God I think I’m going crazy. Natasha showed me this article the other day and now I can’t think of anything but you and the stupid list from that stupid article.”

“Okay…” she looks confused, not really knowing where this is going. “And what does that article have to do with me?”

“I think I’m in love with you.” You see her eyes widen at your declaration. “And I’m pretty sure you are with me too. Well, at least according to the article.”

Your heart’s pounding now, palms sweating with nerves, but Wanda’s still silent, staring at you with wide eyes, so you continue. “I always thought we were just best friends. And now that I know how I feel, some part of me wants to ignore these feelings I have, but then the other part’s like ‘hey, what if she likes you back,’ ya know?”

She tilts her head a bit while taking in your words, and you instantly know you’re fucked. Nothing good ever happens when she does her head tilt. Crap. Did I read this whole thing wrong? Panicking, you barrel on, randomly spewing out words to explain yourself in hopes that she won’t throw you into the sun. “I mean, it’s totally okay if you don’t like me. But you’re really sending all these mixed signals. Like number three said that you give me compliments, which you do, but you also do that for everyone, and--”

“Hold on. Wait.” Wanda holds up a hand and you instantly stop talking. “You’re not sure if I like you?”

“Uh, yes?”

Wanda stares at you as if she can’t believe the words coming out of your mouth. “I thought we were dating.”

You blink. “I’m sorry. What?”

By now your ice cream is already melting in your grasp, but you could honestly care less at this point. What is she talking about?

“Last month on the rooftop. When you made me dinner? You were rambling about the stars and then you ended it with ‘Wanda, I just want you to know that I really, really, really care about you’.” 

“And…”

“And I thought that was you telling me you liked me!”

You stand there, mouth hanging wide open. All you could remember from that night was thinking she looked really pretty against the candlelight, underneath the stars. Her emerald eyes were sparkling and her hair looked so-- Oh shit. Fuck. “Well I...I do like you.”

“Oh my god, (Y/N).” She covers her face with her one free hand, face flushing red.

You fight the urge to laugh at her as you realize you don’t mind the sudden change in direction this conversation has taken. And then a thought strikes you. “Wait, if you thought we’ve been dating for a month, why haven’t we kissed yet?”

Her hand doesn’t move, but she mumbles something unintelligible.

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

Wanda’s hand still doesn’t move away, but she repeats herself again, louder this time. “I thought you just wanted to take things slowly.”

A moment passes. And you really couldn’t hold it back anymore.

She peeks out from underneath her hand, watching you warily as you double over in laughter. “Oh geez, well I’m embarrassed now.”

Your chuckles die down as you reach for her hand, finally taking it into yours.

“Don’t be. We accidentally fell in love, there’s nothing wrong with that. That’s the best type of way to fall in love.” 

 There’s a look of adoration in her eyes that you find yourself returning.

“So you’re in love with me, huh?”

You smile back. “Of course I am, who wouldn’t be?”

“Well, then I think there’s only one thing left to do.” You raise an eyebrow at her sudden nonchalant tone of voice. “Kiss me?”

No sooner were the words out of her mouth, you swoop in and press your lips to hers. It was heavenly. Her lips were soft under your own, and you could taste the remnants of something like strawberry.

When you guys break apart her eyes are still closed. Wanda has a look of bliss written across her face, but you only have one thing on your mind.

“Wait. Who the hell ever gets strawberry ice cream?!”

[neko-rogers]

But It’s Better If You Do

Trying to keep your relationship with your professor was easy enough, until you learned that someone had found out about it.

words: 7,424 tags: manipulative!peter, explicit noncon/dubcon elements, degredation, implied overstimulation, blackmailing, kidnapping, college student and professor relationship, 

a/n: whew this had a lot of words compared to what i usually write. plus, since im bad at titles, i’ll just use my fav song titles lmao. (ps. erik lehnsherr aka magneto is here and im just glad i could put him in my little fictional world bc im d biggest slut for him)

     A complete lie, you just did not want to deal with college fuck boys.

     The man in front of the class was practically pouring his heart out into the lecture. The chalkboard was filled with white letterings from left to right, not knowing where to start as you take down notes.

     “It is important to keep in mind that bimolecular structure and function are dictated by the properties of the medium in which they are dissolved,” your professor explains while continually pacing from one end to the other among the students seated at the first row.

     You decided to seat around the middle to the last row, knowing it was the least obvious way for other students in the class to notice how much you fawn over your Organic Chemistry professor rather than the subject itself.

     Honestly you could listen to him talk for hours. All those information he had been discussing would not actually process through your thoughts. You knew that better than anyone.

     But who honestly would invalidate your reason? Everyone can probably relate to hating Chemistry, no matter what subcategory it is. 

     Considering that this was probably one of the most difficult courses you had in your program. You were just thankful and lucky enough you landed on one of the hottest professors amongst the campus.

     “Hey what did Professor Lehnsherr say about the problems during synthesis of proteins?” Peter asks.

     In spite of being fortunate about everything else about this subject, you were not quite happy about Peter Parker following you around like a lost puppy. Especially during the classes you both have alike. 

     The boy constantly asks so much questions as if you were the teacher already. In addition, he seemed smart enough to figure things out yet somehow he keeps on bugging you for reassurance.

     You did not want to be rude. He has not done anything to completely deserve your rage, however he was definitely getting on your nerves.

     Honestly you would not want to be infuriated over his consistent queries, but you were just as distracted as he was, maybe even more. With this, you were looking dumber to him each day. 

     To anyones pride, it was probably a kick in the stomach. You knew you were not the brightest in this class, but it was best to leave the information to yourself. No need for anyone to point out how mindless you were.

     And you really were not. You had other Science subjects you totally excel at. Sadly, Chemistry was just not one of them.

     “Well, uh, I don’t think I got that part either.” You look aside where he was seated and awkwardly smiled at him before mentioning an apology, “Sorry, Peter.”

     In return, Peter smiled at you and dismissed the question. You were not so sure whether to forget about it or take even the least bit of offense. You felt a little mocked by how easily he did it and innocently he smiled, but maybe you were just overthinking this through.

     “It’s fine,” he tells. “I just didn’t get the third bullet, but I’ll try to review it in the textbook when I get home.”

     “Oh okay, sure.”

     “Speaking about reviewing,” Again, Peter tries to start another discourse.

     “I was wondering if you got reviewers for the upcoming text for next week? We all know how difficult Professor Lehnsherr’s exams can get, right?” He lets out a forced chuckle, assuming it could lighten the mood.

     As much as he tried to make small talks with you, almost everyday, today you really feel like you did not want to return the favor. Especially after having to bring up the test next week.

     “I don’t really make reviewers, I usually just scan the books I have at home.”

     Lies. You probably have a box full of index cards and sticky notes in your room.

     You tried to use every studying tips every corner of the Internet could give. All those study-life hacks that really did not help much but pile up to your disorganized state of mind.

     You fucking tried to study Chemistry. You really did.

     “What, you don’t?!” He suddenly exclaims, not realizing the loudness of his voice as it almost caught the attention from people at front. “You seem to be busy all the time though. It’s like I always catch your writing or reading something in class.”

     Maybe your mood was just off but it definitely seemed weird for him to say that. Though, you did not want to make something from what he said. It was not worth your time.

     “I guess people are not always what they seem to be, yeah?”

     Again, Peter gives out that soft chuckle and smile, “Then I guess so. You do make a point.”

      He does not argue with you any further.

     “Can I at least borrow your Physics book? I only bought Chemistry and Biotech for the semester. Didn’t know they would actually utilize it for once,” he scoffs. 

     At first you hesitated. You were reviewing for it too, but you already felt bad for being no help whenever he asks a question and often times disregarding him when your mood if off. Plus, you did just make it look like you were not much of a study-freak.

     “Okay.”

     He instinctively fist pumps the air and looks at you with a wide, grateful grin. “Thank you so much. You’re a lifesaver, Y/N.”

     “Don’t mention it.” You grab the book he needs from your bag and hands it to him. He accepts it and places it inside his while also clearing the rest of his things.

     Looking at his digital wristwatch wherein he raised his index finger up as if he figured something out of it, he says, “He’s going to dismiss the class in a few minutes. We should get ready for Cell Biology next period.

     Oh how you hated it. Were you jumping to conclusions? Or was this boy really trying to be too close with you? Or was he just being nice and informing you to prepare ahead?

     God, you did not give Peter Parker the right to cloud up your thoughts like this.

     “Thanks,” you say, “but I need to talk to Professor Lehnsherr after class. Have to, uh, consult him about my concept paper that he made us submit last week.”

     As he tidies his notebooks up and carelessly shoves it inside his backpack, he immediately looks back at you with a confused expression, “Oh, I can always wait for you–”

     “It’s fine, Peter. Thank you though.” Two of your hands were instinctively waving in front of you, a meek gesture for him to stop coddling you or whatever move he had been trying to make at you.

     “Are you sure? I–”

     And if you were ought to be saved further from lashing out over Peter’s incessant attempts, you finally heard the words any student was longing to hear. “Class dismissed. I’ll see you all on Monday.” 

     “Eri–err, Professor Lensherr just dismissed the class. Better catch up to him before he heads out,” you hurriedly said. And with a loud slam from your notebook, you quickly shut him out. In addition, you practically shoved every thing in front of you into your bag without sparing a second glance.

     One strap of your back was slung over your shoulder as you hurriedly flew down the aisle. Professor Lehnsherr was midway into packing his things before you interrupted and approached him.

     “Professor,” you call out. “I have a question. About the paper I handed in last week.”

     “Uhuh.” He faintly furrows his eyebrows, trying to hide his already obvious bewilderment. “I forgot which assignment was that, Ms. Y/L/N.”

     There were students still exiting in class. So you tried your best to make your conversation with him less suspicious. He was most likely doing the same. 

     “It was about the Chemistry-proposal thing.” You snapped your fingers a few times as you gathered your train of thought, but realizing it was not going effectively. “Well I just wanted to confirm it since, you know, I was hoping for any feedback from you throughout this week.”

     “I’m not sure if I have read it. I’ve certainly been busy this week,” he clarifies. “Nonetheless, we can talk about it later. Thank you for bringing it up. I’ll make sure to follow it up in my schedule, Ms. Y/N.”

     Both of you made your way out the door once there were only a minuscule amount of students left in class. You probably had been looking at your professor with gushing stares, but you doubt the other people in the room could notice it. They were farther away from where both of you stood, much less would they be able to hear what the two of your were talking about.

     “Oh thank you so much, sir!” You almost cried out and jumped in joy while reaching through the threshold. Moreover, you composed yourself before mumbling out, “I’ll see you later, Eric.” 

     In which you were certain no one would have heard it besides him.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　-: ✧ :-゜・．

     “I’m sure you’ll get a good grade in the exams, Y/N,” Eric leans back to his seat with a humble smile upon his face. 

     “Really? I doubt so, there’s a kid in your class that keeps bugging me out to a study date, or whatever you call it,” you sneer. You lick your lips as you finish taking a sip around the wine glass, setting it down and looking back at the man you were having dinner with. “It’s getting very annoying though, he surely knows how to get on my nerves.”

     “I’m sure he’s just trying to flirt with you, like any other college boys do.” He optimistically and maturely lays out the options. “It’s pretty normal for anyone to chase someone they are fond of, especially for young adults like you.”

     It was a pretty obvious sign that he was trying to let his message reach you. 

     “Well, I apologize for my standards of men,” you say. “I just want to skip the whole heartbreak in college and character development. All that stuff you usually see in a typical teen romance movie.”

     You sigh, looking down and saying, “I already found a man for me. Why would I stoop down for some guy who’s most likely wanting something from me, and dumping me once he got what he wanted.”

     “Y/N, I don’t blame you for liking men that’s ten years older than you,” Eric assures. “But I want you to realize that you still have a lot to look forward after graduating

     “And I look forward for you too!” You tried to not raise your voice, though having dinner in his house wouldn’t really catch anyones attention. “I can’t wait to finally graduate from second semester and be able to spend more time, publicly, with you.”

     “Yes, I understand, honey.” He places his hand over yours as he tries to calm you down. “Like I said, I just want you to make sure that you’ve clearly thought this through.”

      Eric adds, “There’s plenty of men out there. I don’t want to take away your opportunity of experiencing something new at such a young age.”

     “I’m turning twenty-four! I promise you I’m thinking everything through.” Your voice was much weaker than a few seconds ago. The evident tone of strength fades even with one glance from the man in front of you. You felt yourself shrink in your seat. But you were sure he does not intend to frighten you into compliance.

     “Sorry,” you pout. “Didn’t mean to raise my voice.”

     “I understand, and I won’t pressure you any more tonight, okay?” He tries to uplift your mood, detecting quickly the shift of the room’s atmosphere. “You deserve a good dinner tonight, like I promised, sweetie.”

     His smile made you calmer. It was then that you realized why you were attracted to a man like him even if he was still your teacher.

     The way he handles you in any given situation so sensibly. Though it may feels intimidating at first, he consequently tries to override the tone of the conversation which cheers you up.

     With one hand, he hold yours and gently draws it towards him at the same moment he leans his head down. Eric presses a kiss against the back of your hand and you butterflies immediately fill inside your stomach. “I love you.”

     “I love you too.” Every doubt you had entirely disappeared now. If there were hints of you hesitating to continue seeing Eric, they were certainly long gone now.

     “Let me drive you home after dinner,” he offers, like the gentleman he is.

     Eric always does make sure you get home safe. However, you both agreed that he drops you off at least a block away from your house. Just in case people around your neighborhood might catch you, or worse your parents.

     It was not like you were ashamed of your relationship with Eric. Cautious was the term.

     You were only a few months in seeing him. Fair enough, he was your second semester professor and the both of you met before that period.

     You were not only risking the wrath of your parents once they hear you’re dating an older man, let alone your Chemistry teacher. But you were also putting him at risk if ever his faculty finds out.

     Eventually, the two of you pack up and end your conversation. Other than talking about college, the two of you also talk more about yourselves which has progressed you into learning more about each other’s personalities and likes.

     He helps you out of his house and into the passenger seat of his car. It had been more than thrice wherein he drove you home, and the familiar scent of leather and the typical Glad air fresheners has clung onto your nose. You strap on your seatbelt on just as he was getting inside the driver’s side.

     The ride was not entirely dead silent. Eric made a few more small talks before finally turning a right which was where he usually drops you off. It amazes you how instantly he remembered the way to your home, as you instructed him the first time.

     “Thank you for tonight, like always, Eric.” 

     As always, you made your way out of his car prior to giving him a kiss. You only had to walk straight ahead, glancing at your home which had one dim light illuminating through one window.

     Upon entering the house, you figured your parents were already asleep and a hint of the living room lamp was present. Taking the benefit of not having to be interrogated by anyone, you rushed upstairs to your bedroom, turned on the lights, and immediately closed the door behind you with a sigh of relief. A smile was also visible after recalling your night with Eric.

     As you made your way towards your bed, a piece of paper lays obvious in the middle of it. Your sheets were flattened and tidied, so you could obviously detect when something is placed on top of it. You have no memory of leaving it early in the morning before you left too.

     When picking the paper up, you realized it was a piece of polaroid film. Its back was facing you, having no idea what to expect at the front.

     At that point, the smile from your face turned into horror and all the color in you basically drained away.

     The picture displayed you and Eric at one dinner night out from a few days ago, you still remember. It could have been anything but malicious, but the way his hand was intertwined with yours as both of you laugh away without worries. It was clear as day, the light shining perfectly at the both of you. Anyone can conclude what was happening in the picture.

     You did not know this day would come. The picture was taken from Eric’s home to prevent such things like this from happening. So it puzzled you just as much at it terrified you.

     This was definitely someone who had been stalking either one of you. It was not a mere instance like paparazzis who catch celebrities dating on the streets of New York.

     Someone definitely have been observing the two of you.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　-: ✧ :-゜・．

     Days have passed, a week almost. Examinations are scheduled for tomorrow. 

     And you prayed that the picture you received would be the only thing terrorizing your dreams. But you were completely wrong.

     From thereon, you started to receive more pictures, specifically one every morning and night, from your past hangouts with Eric. It were simple shots but had the power to completely jeopardize either one of you, mostly him at stake though.

     It was obvious that the person behind this was definitely observing the two of you for a while. Probably even during the most earliest weeks when your relationship with him started.

     Though it may seem unfair, you did not mention anything about it to Eric. It was enough the he was keeping with you, his job, and himself private – which clearly was not working out so well. You felt like it was your responsibility to handle this situation. You were so sure you did not try to publicize anything and kept it on the low.

      Nevertheless, it was out there. Eric had not mentioned anything so you assumed he did not receive a picture like you did.

     Currently, you were seated at the farthest row at the back of the room, somewhat near the corner. Physics was your last subject and you could not wait but finally leave.

     In addition, you texted Eric that you would not be seeing him until after the exams. It was an easy excuse not to see him, saying that you wanted to focus on studying for it; however, you knew that you would just be busy thinking about the creepy stalker gallery you have been receiving.

     “Hey.” Unsurprisingly, a familiar voice whispers next to you which disrupts your heavy train of thoughts. “You finished studying for tomorrow? I’m about to end my review with Chemistry later.”

     “Cool.” Probably the one of the most basic replies in the universe. “I haven’t finished studying, I’m kind of dealing with a lot of things recently.”

     You made sure to generalize your answer, but enough for him to sympathize and at least give you some space.

     “Oh, sorry to hear about that.” Peter frowns. He takes his seat a few desks away from your left, leaving you to continue thinking. You were thankful for his gesture too.

     Surprisingly enough the boy barely bothered you for the entire lecture. You were still engrossed on finding out whoever was stalking you, even so dating back to boys you evidently rejected during the first semester – who badmouthed you immediately afterwards. There were not a lot of names, so it was easy to remember who was who.

     You traced back to each boy and remembered what they said after you told them you were not ready to enter a relationship – a complete lie, you just did not want to deal with college fuck boys.

     Just as you expected from any of them, rumors have spread out about you which was mostly shaming you physically or mentally. Some were milder insults than the other yet at the end of the day you did not care.

     “Fuck,” you whisper to yourself. “Who was that boy at Liz’s party.”

     Your eyes were sealed shut, recalling a list of names while using your thumb and middle finger to massage your temples. It was getting frustrating and mentally exhausting.

     After some time, you had so much word filling in and our of your brain that you were not aware that your own name was being called. Your heart practically skipped a beat after hearing it the first time, assuming that you were being called to recite an answer. But you became content after seeing that it was just Peter, who started tapping your arm to get your attention.

     “Huh?” You lightly shake your head before turning your head aside.

     “Oh, class was dismissed a few minutes earlier than usual–”

     “Don’t forget to answer the assignment regarding thermodynamic concepts found it the book. You’ll hand it in immediately on Wednesday.” The professor addresses the class as they were already carrying their bags and themselves out the room.

     You start placing your stationeries inside yours, packing your other things up until it was only a pair of earphones and your phone left in front. Peter stood near the aisle while looking at you just as you were zipping your bag shut.

     “Oh shoot, I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he states out of nowhere causing you to furrow your eyebrows at him. “I forgot I still haven’t returned your Physics book I borrowed last week.”

     Nodding your head and standing up, you shrug it off. “It’s fine. You can return it tomorrow.”

     “Sure, but how will you do your Physics assignment?”

     Oh yeah. Your professor literally reminded the class a few seconds ago.

     “I think I might be able to do it overnight. How many pages is the task?”

     “Eight, or nine I think.” He frowns looking very guilty at you.

     “Shit,” you swore. That was a lot of pages than the usual assignments given.

     “Yeah, professor said it could help add points if you somehow get a bad grade at the tests.”

     “Never mind,” you tried to set his mistake aside. “I’ll try to do it within overnight tomorrow. I can ask for help from my friend tomorrow morning and–”

     “Wait! I realized you can stop by my apartment to get it.”

     “Oh–er, Peter, I don’t think I have time to–

     “It’s just nearby the campus, I promise,” he assures and adds, “it wouldn’t be a hassle, it’s probably on your way home anyway so it won’t make a difference.”

     “Uhm.” You were doubtful of him. 

     However, you did realize that you did not have anything to do after class. You were keeping distance with Eric for the meantime which meant that your schedule was mostly vacant after this.

     “Please,” he begs, “I feel so bad for keeping it the whole week. I swear it’s like a few blocks from here.”

     “Would it take more than twenty minutes?” You purse your lips, convincing yourself that you would rather force yourself to study at home than spend it at someone’s apartment.

     “I only take around ten minutes to walk so,” he answers. “Unless you’re a slow walker, of course.” The tone of his voice seeming to be joking.

     Again, he pleads. This kid will not fucking budge.

     “Fine,” you blurt out. Though, you realized your sudden-almost lash out moment at the boy that you made sure to reiterate it but slower, “I mean, sure. I can stop by your apartment to pick up my book.”

     An awaited smile and sense of agreement washes over you.

     Peter then leads the way as you walked behind him, maintaining a short distance so people would not throw out any suspicious looks. Like in every college, everyone knows just how fast gossips formulate and rumors spread.

     If you think about it though, it might avert anyone’s suspicion – mainly pertaining to your creepy stalker – with you and your Professor. But you were not prepared for that yet, maybe some time when you can finally think about its consequences through.

     True to his word, as the both of you exited the campus, it took a short time before the boy in front of you told that you were about to enter through the entrance to the building of his apartment. You were not so sure if it was really a momentary walk or because you were so focused on thinking and keeping a distance.

     At some points he did often look back in case you got lost from following him. Plus, like always, he asked you simple questions either about your day or your subjects to make small talk. In which case, you were barely answering him but definitely progressed compared to when he attempted for previous times during class.

     In addition, as the two of you walked down the block, the number of faces you could only assume was in college decreased. Meaning that the glares at you eased up.

     “Well, here’s my location.” A loud huff follows as he uses a key to unlock the door for the entrance to the building, “It wasn’t that far, was it?”

     “Yeah, I guess it wasn’t that far.” You agree as he holds the door for you and then walks right after you.

     As Peter leads you upstairs onto around the fourth level, he proceeds to walk along the corridors. The array of same beige colored doors with small golden indents of unit numbers paraded along it too. Eventually he stops and inserts a key into the lock, twisting it until hearing the unlocking sound.

     For a moment you hesitated to follow him. You just wanted your book and you were sure he can give it to you on a shorter span than your walk from campus to here. Was it that troublesome?

     Entering his complex, you discovered how minimalistic it looked. To be fair it seemed quite small, the living room instantly greeting you through the entrance and a kitchenette at the side. But since his things were tidied up, it looked roomy.

     You instinctively close the door behind you, slightly aware that it did not create a locking sound. Following Peter, you took a few more steps until you stood still at the passageway between his living room and entryway.

     “Do you want a drink?” Peter asks.

     “No thank you.” You were still trying to subtle. “I just want my Physics book, Peter. Please?”

     He looked at you and paused for a split second. You could feel the frown behind the expressionless look. “Yeah. Okay. Sure,” he nods for a few times before turning around and proceeding to a seemingly narrow hallway. “I’ll get it in my room. Be back in a second.”

     Your feet faintly paced back and forth, still where you stood a few meters between the entrance and living room. After a few more minutes, Peter emerges carrying the familiar book with one hand.

     He approaches you within a few stops but stops in his tracks, leaving a distance from you. “Well uh,” he starts as his chin was tucked.

     “I just want to tell you something before I hand you back your book.” He looks up at you with really pleading eyes. During other instances in university, you were definitely familiar with that look. However, this one probably ranked as one of the most downhearted ones. 

     You did not want to feel regretful for him. Though it definitely feels like you just kicked a puppy.

     “Was is it?”

     “I love you,” he blurts out as his face goes back from hiding and looking down.

     It seemed awkward. You were somewhat expecting it, but you were also hoping that this day would not come – or not at least until you graduate and leave the university.

     “Oh.” You honestly did not want to react.

     Were you going to say sorry? How about thank you? Would it be better if you said you did not like him back? Or will the best response be that you are already taken?

     “Peter, I–”

     “Are you really dating Eric?” He shots up with eyes appearing almost teary.

     What. The. Fuck.

     “No,” you mutter. It was not much of an answer to his question. It was more on being quite horrified as your mind started jumping to conclusions.

     The amount of things running around your mind right now was immeasurable.

     Firstly, anyone could make two and two out of what he said, especially knowing that no one knows it even so around your circle of friends.

     Secondly, you should have thought better. Your doubts with Peter should have been grater and you totally underestimated him. However, some part of you prayed that he was just an annoyingly awkward nerd who follows his friends regarding flirting tips.

     Lastly, you turned around and ran.

     You probably got your way with opening the door and taking two steps out. It was not long before you felt arms wrap around your waist and either side of your arms. You were then lifted and pulled behind while you tried to kick at the air as an escape. Did not work though.

     Peter was surprisingly stronger than you thought. He already seemed fairly muscular at class, hiding behind those long sleeved sweaters and flannels.

     Eventually the last thing you remember was the image of the door of his apartment open while you get sucked into the room further. Everything went black afterwards.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　-: ✧ :-゜・．

     When you felt that you were slowly restoring to consciousness, you were aware of the pounding at the back of your head and your arms.

     You tried to move your hands, wanting to press against the parts of your body that were aching. But you felt incapacitated as your wriggled your wrists around and felt an unfamiliar sticky fluid enveloping around them.

     “Glad you’re awake,” a voice says. “Does your head hurt?”

     You tried to open your eyes, the dark lighting of the room not cooperating with your vision. A light from the window and a lamp were the only things that helped you form something out of the void. 

     From there you saw Peter Parker sitting closely beside you at the edge of the bed.

     Hell please let this be a nightmare.

     “What–” You groan, “What do you want from me.”

     Your mind was building up your anger yet your body says otherwise. You felt exhausted and heavy.

     Peter shushed you in a caring manner, “We’ll talk when you feel better. I’ll let you get more rest okay, sweetie?”

     “Uhh.”

     That was what you could remember the most. If you have awoken for other times in between your sleep, then you surely did not have an idea of it.

     When you finally woke up, the level of your grogginess felt little to none already. You looked around and saw that the room was still dark and seemingly still nighttime.

     As your head was twisting from side to side, you saw Peter appear from the doorway carrying a translucent cup filled with water in one hand. “Hey, you’re finally awake.”

     Instead of replying to him, your wrists writhe beneath the fluid that you are still not familiar of. You could not really look up to get a good view of what it was, but it was wet, sticky, and felt like super glue.

     On the other hand, both your legs, ankles, and feet were free. The back of your thighs bounced against the bed as you struggled, but it would not do much since your arms were practically stuck.

     “Fuck,” you grumble.

     “That won’t help. You’re pretty much stuck there,” he says, Then he takes a seat at the edge of the bed, alike where you remembered him positioned from earlier, “Might as well talk to me until I let you go.”

     “Okay then, when will you let me go?” Your voice was calm hoping you could talk your way out of this mess. 

     “If you behave for me like a good girl, okay?”

     Shivers went up your spine as you cringed at his statement.

     Immediately, your mood shifts from calm to furious after hearing his disturbing bargain. Then purposely rolling your eyes for him to see. “How the hell will I behave if you’re a creepy stalker! You disgust me!”

     Peter hums, displaying a look wherein he seems like he was thinking. You were not sure if it was sarcastic or not, either way it annoyed the hell out of you. “Creepy stalker sounds overstated, it was more on being curious.”

     You scoff as well as exclaim, “You sent me photographs of me and Eric at his house! Fucking hell, Peter.”

     “Oh yeah that part.” He slyly pouts his lips to the side as he comes to realize what he had done, “I guess it was a bit creepy–”      “What do you mean a bit? That was invasion of privacy!”

     Despite being trapped, both your hands balled into a fist, feeling very furious at his dense answers. “I was living my own life! I kept my relationships to myself,” you cry out.

     “Yes, but you weren’t completely living your life,” he whispers while gently combing his hair through the front of your hair. “You deserve much more than someone who couldn’t proudly tell that you’re his girl. Is he even a man? Do you really enjoy that kind of life, sweetie?”

     “We were happy,” you weep. The evident crack on your voice was a signal that you were about to cry though you were not sure if it was because you were held hostage or because you were worried for Eric.

     No one would understand your situation with him right now. Especially Peter.

     “Trust me you weren’t,” he scoffs. “You deserve so much more, and I can give you that.”

     “I’d rather be alone forever than be with you, asshole!” Your voice was inconsistent, clearly affected by how fast Peter’s mood also shifts quickly.

     You also figured you were not looking entirely fresh while crumbling beneath him. Drops of tears and sweat were all over your face and neck, both your eyelids felt swollen, and your nose was almost stuffed.

     Peter stand from the edge of the bed and advances to his desk from the side. A harsh bang echoed throughout the room as your body twitched out of shock.

     “What does that dick have that I don’t?!” He grits his teeth as the curves of his jaw intensifies. A displeased look was written all over his face. 

     “P-please let me go.”

     “I need you to answer, sweetie. We going nowhere unless you answer!” He was never going to let you go if you were not going to cooperate. 

     Every step he takes closer back to the bed just increases your heart beat further. He had rolled the sleeves of his sweater up to the edge of his elbows and you felt threatened looking at how firm his arms looked.

     “Peter, p-please,” you hiccup.

     As Peter returns to the edge of the bed, he does not hesitate anymore to keep a distance. His hands hover to either sides over your body and sets the left side of his head on your midriff, laying while also getting a good view of your vulnerable state.

     He does not even look life he was struggling to make an effort to keep you down, but you could feel how heavy he was and was barely giving you a chance to move around.

     “I can give you so much more, Y/N.” The way his gaze directs at you was definitely one of the creepiest things you have experienced. He had so much emotions yet completely lacked sympathy for your state of mind.

     Shutting your eyes, you only cried further. You felt a hand cup one of your cheeks as its thumb wipes away the pouring tears. Like a broken record, you only pleaded more, “Please let me go.”

     “I can’t.”

     “Why.” You bawled, realizing he has no plans of releasing you anytime soon despite it. “I won’t tell anyone about this, I p-promise.”

     “I know that,” he says, “but you’re going to run back to Eric, probably tell him too, right?”

     You did not want to answer, merely shaking your head as you resisted a cry from your lips. It was somewhat what you had planned, but now you were just scared shitless.

     “You won’t tell anyone but him cause no one knows about it other than you two, right?” He corners your words. 

     “Eric would lose his job if someone, especially your parents find out, right?” Hell he was correct. He most likely had been stalking you for so long to find out about it.

“You love him so much, you wouldn’t want to hinde

     It was terrifying that someone had been learning about you and your life for a while without your awareness.

     “Please stop. What do you want... money?” you whimper. 

     Peter did not seem likes normal college boy; he does not think like one, too, for sure. Anyone with a right mind would not do something like what he did. No one would have the guts to do so.

     “I just want you, Y/N. I want to give you what you deserve,” Peter answers as he sits up and leans his face closer to yours. His mouth leaves a small gap from your right ear as he whispers, “Let me make you feel good.”

     “No–”

     He cuts off your plea with a proposition, “If you let me, I might consider letting you free.”

     “You want that, right? Want me to let you go...” His hand combs through the other side of your face, “just let me show you that I can do way better than him.”

     Every ounce of your blood was trying not to give in. You were smart, you ought to find a way out of this. However, you realized that it will not be enough. You already struggled so much from the super glue around your wrists and you could not imagine how much more would it take now that Peter was on top of you.

     Eventually you stopped struggling and let him be. There was no way out of this than to let him do what he pleases.

     You feel his lips press against your ear first and then progresses over your cheek. His grip around your arms loosen after detecting that you stopped struggling beneath him. You could feel him smile on your skin, “That’s it, relax for me. Good girl.”

     His hand reaches to undo your pants as his lips drifted on yours to force their way on making out with you. Another hand then presses under your jaw and throat. “P-Peter,” you choke, feeling lightheaded after being unable to breath properly though your mouth until the grip had loosen.

     “Sorry, babe.”

     He soon descends from your face to your neck and collar region. You were so sure he was leaving marks on you as you felt him suck and nibble against your  skin. Like a controlling asshole he was, you expect to see bruises on your skin by tomorrow.

     Despite having your hands fastened, he still moves your shirt upwards past your head. It halts and hands loosely around your arms as you emerge topless beneath the boy.

     “Fucking beautiful,” Peter compliments your body under his breath.

     Although he seemed to have time on his hands, he does not leave a second wasted. He also goes to haul your pants past your legs and ankles. The growing look of impatience on his face says it all.

     Peter moves from your side and welcomes himself between your legs. He spreads them out to have enough space for his body and you could not feel more embarrassed than this.

     You grit your teeth over each other as you felt him press fingers against your cunt. Instinctively, you clench around nothing as he continues to play with your entrance, making sure you get entirely soaked under his touch.

     “You know you shouldn’t hold back. I know you’re loving it so far, your body says otherwise,” he teases before laying on his stomach and moving his head closer to your pussy.

     Without a warning, he licks a strip of you making the back of your thighs quake lightly. Peter senses your reaction and continues to do so, using his tongue to play around and poke inside of you until you were slowly giving in without even realizing it.

     Just as you thought you were getting used to his actions, he then inserts fingers inside you, feeling your warmth around it as he pushes it in and out.

     “Oh,” you moan.

     He continues, making sure he also does not leave your bud of nerves behind. The tip of his fingers and tongue alternate on playing against it, making you throw back your head out of pleasure.

     “I bet he doesn’t please you like this,” he scoffs.

     Eventually, at your vulnerable state, you could already feel yourself closing to an orgasm. Your toes curled as your temples throbbed, sealing your eyes shut as you accepted on giving in.

     You bit onto your lower lip, trying to resist a moan. Somewhere inside you, you were still trying to fight back and not let Peter have the satisfaction he had been craving.

     “You’re being so tight... Just let it out.” He coaxes and you hate how you did what he told you so.

     The extensive grin on his face seemed priceless. He pulled back and you were aware that you seemed exhausted beneath him. You assumed he was done with whatever he wanted to do with you.

     But when he started to take off his sweater and unbutton his pants, you realized it was far from over.

     As he presents himself just as naked in front of you, he again welcomes himself between your legs. This time you get a better view of him and his muscles and abs. He gets a good view of your body too for sure as his hand reaches to start stroking his dick.

     He places one hand on your thigh and pushes it farther to give him more room. Finally, he inserts in inside you and you automatically felt him throbbing between.

     There was a growing heat between the both of you, and it only intensified as Peter started to thrust his hips forward and backwards. There was not even a rhythm from him as he moves harder after hearing you softly moan underneath.

     The slapping sound echoes through the room that would eventually reek of sex and you felt ashamed that your body was enjoying all of this.

     “Ah… ah… ahh… agh….”

     “You’re starting to enjoy this, aren’t you?” He brags as one hand was reaching for your breasts while the other holds your thigh up. “Fucking slut.”

     Your body and mind were tired and could only hold so much longer. It was not a surprise when your stomach started to churn your the muscles in your thighs were cramping up.

     Peter did no help after seeing you starting to wear out. He tried leaning in to make out with you and expect to moan into his mouth. You did for a moment, a combination of both your drools were streaming down from the corner of your mouth.

     “We’re making a mess, huh,” he mumbles. “But I know you’re already a dirty fucking girl.”

     He proceeds to deprave you with statements, “Can’t believe you’re enjoying my cock better than that old man’s... Such a fucking whore.”

     You twist your head aside, trying to hide the fact that you feel like your temperature were burning up. You were so sure he could feel the increasing warmth of your walls either way.

     Your eyes were rolling back as you resist arching your back, which was not really a success as the amount of pleasure was overwhelming.

     As you writhe beneath him, you felt a hand on your cheek. It pushes your head back onto looking at front and at Peter. “I want you t look at me when you’re going to cum, sweetie,” he orders and you could not do much anyways.

     The second time you came was a whole other level. You never felt this with any person you slept with so far, rather not this fast and intense to say. “That’s it, fuck, you’re tighter than I could ever imagine.”

     Peter continues until it was his time to cum. The bed continues to move along with his pace and your body was basically abused to his liking.

     And even if you were not aware of it, the boy was practically thankful that his agency decided to agree to soundproofing his whole apartment – his motive being for personal reasons, which they did not question any time soon.

     You were helpless, you knew that. All you had in mind now was rest. Your eyelids were heavy and your mind was drifting to slumber.

     The last thing you remember was Peter moving over your body to come all around your chest like a painter with its paint brush creating a masterpiece from your chest to your core.

     “I love you.”

a/n: ily pls leave comments <3

[somewhatgreatexpectations]

I’ll Be Coming Back To You (Wanda Maximoff/ Reader)

Hello, again! We have now entered the 80s! For reference, the 80s will be split into two parts. Song used is “Vows” By Naomi Scott (2017). Definitely worth a listen if you have the time. Let me know what you all think! :)

Summary: Life in Westview is beginning to unravel. How will Y/n manage? Will Wanda be able to keep everything under control?

As Wanda stormed away, you practically had to sprint to keep up with her. “Wanda, will you just stop?” You called after her, sighing when her steps didn’t even falter.

“Why don’t you go back to flirting with the bartender? You don’t need me there for that.” She shouted over her shoulder sarcastically. 

You rolled your eyes at her response and looked around nervously at the spectacle you two were creating. Not an ideal situation for two people in hiding. “Wanda,” You hissed when you were finally able to get a hold of her hand and pull her to a stop. “You’re being ridiculous.”

Almost immediately Wanda pulled her hand back and stared you down. “She kept touching you and you didn’t stop her.” Wanda deadpanned.

Slight irritation began building at your temples as you watched the people around you stop and stare. Without a word, you took Wanda by the hand and began pulling her to walk, only receiving slight protest from the woman. 

Eventually you reached the small flat you two were supposed to hide out in for the next few days until you had to move again. 

It wasn’t until you were both safely inside that you finally dropped Wanda’s hand. “Do you realize how childish that all was? To think you used to call me reckless.” You said disbelievingly with a shake of your head as you spun around to face her.

Wanda sputtered, obviously not expecting your words. “You were flirting with someone else right in front of me!” She shouted defensively as she tried to shoulder her way passed you. 

Again, you rolled your eyes and advanced forward towards her until her back was pressed against one of the walls. “I wasn’t flirting with anyone.” You said calmly as you placed a hand on either side of her head, so she wouldn’t be able to leave. “All this because you’re jealous, Maximoff?”

Her eyes fell to your lips as she swallowed thickly. “I’m n-not-” She shook her head. “You know what? I was. I had every reason to be.” She responded honestly, her words sharp.

For a moment you just stared at one another. Unconsciously leaning in, longing to give into what you both desperately wanted. Needed. “We’re not together. You have no reason to be.” You told her quietly as you backed away. 

This was only the first couple of weeks of being on the run with Wanda and each implication of letting her back in made you uneasy which often led to you lashing out to push her away. 

You couldn’t fight when she looked at you like that though. 

“Y/n.” Wanda called as she followed after you. You busied yourself with picking up pieces of clothes around the space, refusing to look at her. “We might not be together, but-”

With your guards up, you couldn’t help the bitter retort that slipped passed your lips. “I wonder why that is? Oh, right... It involves you and a red robot.” You chuckled humorlessly with your back towards her. “So, again, no. You have no reason to be jealous.”

Pain filled Wanda’s eyes, but her resolve didn’t waver. “You can use that against me as much as you want, it’s the truth. Us not being together is my fault, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m in love you and that I’m going to keep trying... And I’m going to get jealous if other people flirt with you.”

There was silence that hung in the air for a moment until you felt her wrap her arms around you from behind. Each movement was hesitant. You tensed at the contact and could feel her begin to pull her arms away, but your hands over hers stopped her. 

You relaxed into her arms as you allowed yourself to accept the embrace. “I’m sorry.” You mumbled.

Wanda’s brows furrowed as her arms around you tightened. “For what?”

Nervously you worked your jaw as you tried to choose your words carefully. “For lashing out. Wanda, I wasn’t-…” You paused and took a breath. “I’d never flirt with someone else. There isn’t anyone else. There couldn’t be. I’ve tried.”

There was slight tension in Wanda’s body at your admission that you’ve tried to be with others. She quickly let it go in hopes of hearing the words she’d long for fall from your lips. “Why?”

“Why?” You echoed back to her in confusion. 

Wanda rested her chin on your shoulder, her eyes glimmering hopefully. “Yeah. Why couldn’t there be anyone else?” She probed.

You hesitated, knowing the feelings were there but you were far from ready to acknowledge them. “I can’t-… I’m not ready yet, Wanda.”

It was as though you could hear her hope shatter at your feet. “That’s okay. I can wait. I’ll wait forever for you. Just know there’s no one else for me either. I love you. And if I have to fight an endless number of bartenders for your love then I’m ready.”

You turned in her arms. “I know.” You replied softly, knowing there was nothing else you could say. You leaned your head against her chest. “Have I shown you this song?” You questioned hoping the music could say what you weren’t ready to vocalize yet.

Wanda knew what you were trying to do and couldn’t help the smile that appeared as she listened to the song softly fill the room around you with the words you couldn’t say. 

“You'll still be looking out for me, when my mind is a mess and my heart's not there…”

A tired sigh escaped your lips. “Okay, Charlotte. We’ve gone through books, we’ve played with toys, we’ve eaten. Momma just wants a little rest.” 

Despite your plea, the baby in your arms continued to cry. If the cries from downstairs were any indication, Wanda wasn’t having better luck with Billy.

With another sigh you continued rocking the baby in your arms, absentmindedly humming along to a tune in the back of your mind. After a moment or two of quiet humming you noticed Charlotte’s crying slow down ever so slightly as she stared up at you curiously. 

Deciding to take the risk, you began softly singing while continuing to rock her in your arms. “…  But I'll be coming back to you, 'cause you smell like home and your love's still there.”

You noticed the tears come to a halt as her eyes began to droop contently as you quietly finished the song. For a moment you just watched her sleep peacefully in your arms, vaguely wondering where that song came from. All that was attached to the song were flashes of Wanda in moments you didn’t recognize. You couldn’t help but feel like it was out of place.

The confusion took a back seat to your excitement though. 

Carefully you rushed downstairs, eager to show your wife the accomplishment. “I did it! I got Charlie to sleep!” 

Your eyes widened with dread as soon as the words left your mouth. Wanda turned to you happily, her smile dropping when she saw your expression. “Y/n, wha-” Her words were cut off as the baby in your arms began to wail, having been woken up from your shouting.

A small smirk appeared on Wanda’s face as you shut your eyes and attempted to compose yourself. “Not a word.” You warned as you began rocking Charlie again. Your shoulders slumped in defeat.

Wanda made her way over to you and pressed a sympathetic kiss to your cheek. “Rookie mistake, Y/ln.” She teased lightly.

Everything in you wanted to kiss the smug smirk right off Wanda’s face. “Is it Y/ln or Maximoff? We are married.” You quipped back.

Wanda’s cheeks tinged pink at your response as you blew her a playful kiss. “Maximoff.” She answered shyly, keeping herself occupied with Billy. Your heart swelled at how easily her reply came.

You grinned when you noticed the way you were both bouncing the babies to the same rhythm. “Care to dance, dear?” You asked jokingly as you wiggled your eyebrows at Wanda.

An amused laugh escaped her lips. “It’s almost like we’re on a date.” She said sarcastically. 

“What sets the mood more than our twins crying endlessly?” You responded in a mock seductive voice.

Wanda looked at you with faux hooded eyes. “Nothing gets me going more, sweetheart.” A particularly loud cry from Billy broke the playful mood as you both sighed in unison. “Darling, do you mind grabbing their binkies?” 

You moved to place Charlie in her crib as Wanda did the same for Billy. “Of course not. I’ll be right back.” You rushed out of the room as Wanda turned to face the two crying babies.

“Now, I know parents aren’t supposed to take short cuts, but I think this situation calls for one. Don’t you?” Wanda ran a nervous hand through her hair as the crying got even louder. “So... Go to sleep my babies.” She waved her hands, yet the two babies continued crying.

Once again, she waved her hands, and nothing happened. The babies did begin giggling though. Wanda placed her hands on her hips in annoyance. “Well, I don’t think it’s very funny. Why won’t you do what I want?” The moment was interrupted as you entered the room again.

“I have a special delivery of binkies for a Billy and Charlie Maximoff!” You declared as you walked over to the cribs with the items in hand. You gave one to each twin and for a moment it seemed to appease them. 

Wanda breathed out in relief. “Look, I think it’s working.” As soon as the words left her lips the twins spit out the binkies and began crying again. “Y/n, what are we doing wrong?” Wanda questioned dejectedly with a pout.

You wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer. “Don’t worry, love. We’ll figure it out. I think we just need some more practice.” 

Wanda leaned into you. “Maybe. Or maybe we just need some help.” As if on cue, the doorbell rang and in strolled Agnes before either of you could even open the door.

“Hiya, kids.” She greeted lightly as she walked over to the couch and threw the bag that was in her hands onto it. “I was just on my way to jazzercise when I heard your new bundles of joy were on a sleep strike.”

You frowned slightly as you watched the exchange, confused as to how she could have possibly known that. “Oh? Who told you that?” You questioned skeptically.

Agnes turned towards you with a playful smile. “Um. My ears.” She teased. You forced out a laugh because it felt like what you were supposed to do. “Anyway. Auntie Agnes is here, and I’ve got a couple of tricks up my sleeve.”

Wanda sighed in relief. “Oh, Agnes, you’re a lifesaver.” 

Relief was the opposite of what you felt as you watched Agnes step closer to your children. The thought of allowing a stranger to watch them put you on edge. Wanda watched you in confusion. “Actually, you know what? I think we can manage.” You stepped in front of the crib protectively with a tense smile on your face. 

For a moment Agnes shifted uncomfortably before she turned to face Wanda, an unsure look overcoming her features. “Um… do you want me to start over?”

Both you and Wanda exchanged confused glances. “I’m sorry?” Wanda replied, her brows furrowed.

“You want me to hold the babies?” Agnes questioned as she picked up the bag she had previously placed on the couch. “Should we just take it from the top?”

Tension hung in the air as Wanda let out an uncomfortable laugh. You laughed along uncertainly, not knowing what was going on. “Don’t be silly. Y/n, I think Agnes can handle it.” Wanda looked over at you with wide eyes. Almost as though she were pleading with you to let it go. 

The smile on her face made the comment seem much more easy going than it really was. You stayed silent as Agnes made her way over to the twins once again.

“Fussy babies, meet buns of steel. We dare you to stay awake.” Agnes joked, easily falling back into her carefree nature. Something felt off about the situation as you observed the way Wanda amusedly watched Agnes rock the twin’s cribs. 

Everything about the moment seemed over the top. Forced. 

“Wanda.” You called her over to where Agnes would be out of ear-shot. “What was that?”

A tentative smile overcame Wanda’s features. “What was what?” 

You bit your lip pensively as you thought over what had just occurred. “That. With Agnes just now. What Agnes said… the way she looked at you. Like she was waiting for instructions.”

Wanda reached over and gently tugged your lip until you released it. “I think she was just confused, love.” Wanda answered softly, as she reached over to caress your cheek. “She seems fine now.”

Out of reflex you found yourself leaning into her touch. Despite the comfort of the action, your mind remained conflicted. You could faintly hear Agnes making jokes, but none registered to you over the haze in your mind. “It’s just so strange.”

“Oh, that’s not fair. It’s not Agnes’ fault she has an unusually high libido.” Wanda said with an amused smile, assuming you were replying to Agnes’ comment.

You placed your hand over hers and pulled it down, so your intertwined hands rested in the space between you. “Wanda. Did you really not see what I saw?”

Again, that look that you’d found yourself becoming all too familiar with overcame Wanda’s features as her eyes flooded with worry. 

Commotion in the kitchen interrupted the moment as you both turned to find Agnes riffling through the liquor cabinet which she assured you was for the babies. Wanda turned back to you more composed. “Y/n. The twins haven’t slept in days, you and I both needed a break and Agnes was just being neighborly. Be here with me.” She pleaded.

Your response felt automatic, like the words were a promise you had made to Wanda before. Like the words were something she needed to hear and you unconsciously knew it. “I’ll always be here for you, Wanda. Unconditionally and always on your side.” You reassured her sincerely, placing a gentle kiss on the back of her hand. 

Wanda’s eyes shone with unshed tears at your words. “Do you hear that?” you questioned before she could form a response.

Her eyes followed you skeptically as you moved forward. “Hear what?”

“Absolutely nothing!” You exclaimed excitedly as you made your way over to the cribs. 

Wanda eagerly followed after you. “They finally fell asleep!” She took your hand in hers as you both leaned over the cribs only to find them empty. “Where are the twins?”

“Mommy? Momma?” You both spun around to find the twins no longer infants but rather toddlers. You both recoiled slightly in shook, not expecting it in the slightest.

Agnes chuckled. “Kids. Can’t control ‘em. No matter how hard you try.” She said lightly as she took a drink from the glass in her hands. 

Both you and Wanda leaned down and opened your arms as the twins each rushed into the offered embrace. Wanda picked up Charlie as you picked up Billy. 

You shared a brief glance with Wanda and despite all the confusion you felt, your heart had never felt more full than in that moment. Wanda. The twins. That was all that mattered to you. All your unanswered questions could wait.

_________

“Good morning, my beautiful family!” You greeted cheerfully as you wandered into the kitchen, your steps faltering when you noticed the unfamiliar dog in Wanda’s arm. “Good morning dog I do not know. Who’s this?”

Wanda placed the dog back on the floor as she made her way over to you and leaned in for a short kiss which you easily reciprocated. “We’re not quite sure actually.”

Unexpectedly, Agnes entered the home before you could reply. “Hi, kiddos!” She greeted, carrying a dog house in her arms. 

Your brows furrowed. “How did she know that we would need a dog house.” You mumbled to yourself as Wanda pretended she didn’t hear.

Agnes placed the dog house on the counter as she leaned down to be eye level with the twins. “My kitchen window told me someone got a new pooch!”

Wanda turned to smile brightly at the twins who smiled excitedly back at her. “I have always said I wanted a dog.” You added quietly to yourself. Wanda looked back at you and winked.

“Have we named him yet?” Agnes asked enthusiastically.

Billy and Charlie both turned to watch the dog curiously sniff at the electrical outlet. “How about Sniffy?” Billy suggested happily as Charlie nodded along with her brother.

A small spark in the outlet caused the dog to whimper away. “How about Sparky?” Agnes countered jokingly.

“Well. Should we make it official?” Wanda asked as she raised her hand and flicked her fingers, a collar appearing out of thin air. Charlie eagerly took the collar from Wanda’s hand as she and Billy rushed to put it on the dog.

Your eyes widened in shock at her actions. “Wanda,” You hissed. “Agnes is right there.”

Wanda waved her hand dismissively. “She didn’t notice. She didn’t even notice when the twins went from babies to 5-year old’s.” She finished with a laugh.

A frown formed on your lips at her flippant attitude. Conflict began building within your mind. “That’s not what we agreed on when we first got here. What happened to wanting to fit in? You made no effort to hide your abilities.”

In response Wanda shrugged slightly. “I’m tired of hiding, Y/n. And you shouldn’t feel you have to hide either.” Much like the day before she caressed your cheek.

With hesitation you wrapped your fingers around her palm and gently brought her hand down from your face. “Wanda, you and I are usually so in tune, but right now… I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me.” 

Once again worry flooded the eyes that you loved so much as Wanda stared back at you. Her mouth opened to respond when-

“Is Sparky our dog, Momma?” Charlie asked you hopefully as Billy pouted by her side. Wanda schooled her features as she turned to face the twins.

You nervously ran a hand through your hair as you avoided answering the question. Thankfully Wanda took over. “Billy, Charlie, your mother and I don’t think you’ll be properly ready to care for an animal until you’re at least…” Wanda glanced back at you for help.

You faked a cough to mask your answer. “10.”

“10 years old.” Wanda finished, holding up ten fingers to emphasize her point. You nodded along in support but deep down you knew you wanted to keep the dog as much as the twins did. You had always wanted a dog, but life always seemed to always get in the way. You could vaguely remember Anna trying to convince you to keep a stray you had seen on the street.

As you were lost in your thoughts, you noticed Billy and Charlie exchange knowing looks.

Your eyes widened with realization of what they were about to do. “Wait, a minute! No, no, no-” The protest fell on deaf ears as the twins aged up despite the objections coming from both you and Wanda. 

“Let’s just hope this dog stays the same size.” Agnes joked as she handed Sparky over to you. You couldn’t help the smile that overcame you as Sparky licked your face. Wanda watched the exchange with adoring eyes. 

_____________

“Thanks for helping me set up this new computer, Y/n. No one else around here feels comfortable leaving the typewriters behind.” Ellie explained as you finished connecting all the wires. 

You smiled in response. “And… done!” You exclaimed plugging in the final wire. “What do you say? Shall we surf the internet?”

Ellie giggled as she stood behind you. “Cowabunga!” You clicked one of the keys. “Look, we’ve already got an electronic mail!” She excitedly pointed to the notification.

Unable to help yourself, you laughed at her response. “It’s an E-mail, Ellie.” You informed her as you opened the message which the entire office chillingly began reading in unison. Something about Dr. Darcy Lewis’ findings and a ‘Maximoff anomaly’. 

Discomfort filled your body as you desperately reached forward to shut off the computer. At the last moment you noticed Ellie reach forward at the same time. The computer gave off a spark as you made contact with it.

You fought to keep your eyes open as the paperwork spread across your desk seemed to grow the more you got done. “That’s it. You’re about to pass out. We’re done. Let’s get you back to base.” You indistinctly heard as someone gently lifted you from your seat and wrapped an arm around you to steady you.

Typically, you’d protest, but the exhaustion prevented that. “As my mentor would say, I can do this all day.” You mumbled sarcastically, leaning heavily into the support.

“You’re cute.” The compliment was soft, like you weren’t supposed to hear it. 

Feeling bold, you turned to face the woman. “Are you flirting with me, Agent Fletcher?” You teased in a mockingly shocked tone.

A blush spread across her cheeks. “That depends, Agent Y/ln… Is it working?” She questioned as she looked up at you from under her lashes. 

You fought back the guilt that lingered on the surface as you flirted back. You had no reason to feel guilty. This was a part of healing. Moving on. And you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel an attraction to the other woman. “I don’t know. I think I’m going to need a bit more to make a qualified decision, Amelia.” 

Amelia slowly leaned in, giving you time to pull away. You didn’t. 

When you finally got back to your apartment you slid down the wall and pulled your phone out of your pocket. On numb fingers, you began dialing the one number you knew that you’d always have memorized. 

The phone rang and just as you were about to hang up a voice spoke out. “Hello? Who is this?” A sigh escaped your lips when the familiar voice filled your ears. “How did you get this number?”

You didn’t respond even though you wanted to. Finding resolve to stay away from her was taking a toll.

 In the morning you could just blame it on being sleep deprived, but for now you could admit just hearing her voice put your mind at ease. 

“… Y/n?” She finally whispered out. You quickly ended the call and tossed the phone to the side. You felt an odd sense of satisfaction when you heard it crack on impact. It was a burner anyway. 

As much you didn’t want to admit it, the love was still there. Your heart would always go back to Wanda. No matter how hard you tried to pull away. 

With a gasp you looked around, finding your mind in the office once more, the dream-like memory fading rapidly in your mind. All you remembered was that Ellie was in this one. 

“Y/n. Please. Please you have to help me.” Ellie balled her hands into the front of your shirt suddenly, her eyes wide. “How long has it been? What happened? Please!”

Your eyes widened as you could feel yourself become overwhelmed. “Ellie! I don’t- I don’t understand. What are you talking about?” You stuttered out anxiously. 

You met her panicked eyes as she yanked you by the shirt. “You have to stop her!” 

Ellie’s grip on your shirt tightened even more as you attempted to back away. “Stop who?”

“She’s in my head! None of it is my own. It hurts. Make her stop.” Ellies face crumpled in pain. “MAKE HER STO-” In a panic you pulled her hand down by the wrist and connected her with the sparking computer again. Almost immediately her features returned to normal. 

With shaky hands you released her wrist, your heart racing with fear. “Say, if you’re so good with computers, what else are you good with?” She flirted and for once you preferred it.

Wordlessly you stumbled away and over to your desk to gather your things. You didn’t know what was happening, all you knew was that you needed to get back to Wanda. Now. 

Part 4! There is definitely still dialogue used from Wandavision, but I think it’s starting to take its own shape now. I would say the second part of this chapter is where the chaos begins to ensue. 

Anyway... I hope you all liked the glimpses into Wanda and Y/n’s life on the run pre-Infinity War. And Y/n’s life away from the avengers. Also there was a call back to a chapter in “Love Goes” did anyone catch it? 

As always, I hope you all enjoyed! Thoughts and comments always welcome. :)

p.s. This is still who I picture as Ellie/ Amelia. :)

Lizzie is still my #1 though 

[folkreid]

cheater cheater

TYPE: angst

WORD COUNT: 1.8K

SONG: should've said no- taylor swift

I walk into the living room Lila sitting down and Spencer was standing next to the couch she was on. Spencer and I have been dating for eight months, it's been going good. It's kind of hard to focus sometimes. All I can think about is him.

My phone starts ringing. It's Elle. I walk into the hallway to take the call. "We're on our way over there" she says through the phone. "Okay well Spencer and I are here with Lila" I tell her. "Okay good we'll be there in a bit" Elle says before hanging up.

I walk back to the living room. Spencer and Lila aren't there, where are they?

I hear a splash from outside. What the fuck?

I run out and see Spencer and Lila in the pool. They were kissing. Spencer was kissing her. What the hell. How could he do this to me. He grabbed her face with his two hands, just how he was kissing me earlier today. My heart sinks. Why? Why would he do this? I feel tears fill my eyes I quickly wipe them away. I'm at work I shouldn't be crying.

They finally pull away. His eyes meet with mine. "Y/n I'm I-I" he stutters.

I leave the room. I see Elle outside talking to Spencer a couple minutes.

-

Well we saved the girl and found the stalker. I've been avoiding Spencer. I don't want to talk to him. Or see him. Or be around him. Theres the problem. I live with him, we decided to move in together about a month ago. I moved out of my apartment. Which was stupid considering we had only been together for seven months at the time. We were so positive we would be a perfect couple.

How could I be so fucking naive.

Of course we wouldn't work out. I loved him more than he loved me.

Elle walks up to me, I was waiting for the elevator. "What's wrong Y/n" she notices me mood. "Nothing, can I stay with you for the night?" I ask.

She shakes her head yes. "Why, did something happen to you and Spencer?" she asks concerned. "No, I just think I need some space" I tell her. She nods as we enter the elevator.

We walk out the building heading to her car.

We finally arrive at her house, she opens the door and lets me in.

I flop onto her couch. "Did you tell Spencer you're here?" Elle asked me putting down her bag. "No" I mumble going into her cabinet grabbing a blanket and pillow. She kept extra ones there.

I lie them down on the couch. "He's been texting me like crazy, he says that he's worried." Elle tells me showing me the text. I take the phone from her hand and type. "Sorry I haven't heard from her" I send the text. I give her phone back to her and she looks at the text. She looks at me in disbelief.

"Y/n! Spencer just wants to know you're safe" she scolds me. "Please don't tell him i'm here I really don't want to see him." I beg.

She sighed. "Fine" she gives up.

I start to feel bad. I should text him. "I'm safe Spencer, I don't want to see you right now." I sent the message and lie back down in Elles couch.

About an hour passes and he sends me a couple of messages. I hear the door bell ring. Elle looks up from whatever she was doing in the kitchen over to the door. She goes over to it. I immediately hear Spencer's voice. "S-She won't answer me. She told me she was safe but-but i'm worried Elle" he cried.

He came in and saw me. He looked over to Elle angrily. "You said she wasn't here! Why would you lie to me!" he gets in her face.

"Reid stop. Elle didn't lie to you I took her phone any texted you from there" I explain. He mumbled an apology to Elle.

"Can we talk" Spencer asks me. Elle leaves the living room walking over to her room.

"What Reid" I say annoyed. I sit down on the couch putting my hands to my face. "I'm sorry" he whispers.

"I don't care just leave" I feel tears building up in my eyes. "Y/n/n" he starts.

"Reid, I don't care okay. Just leave" I stand up from the couch. He comes closer. "Don't call me Reid. Stop it. You haven't called me Reid since we've started dating." his eyes get watery as he says that.

"Well we aren't dating anymore" I back up from him. "Y/n, don't break up with me. Please. It was a stupid kiss" he begs.

"A stupid kiss Spencer?! Really? Why didn't you pull away!" I yell at him, tears streaming down my face.

"I-I don't know" he chokes over his tears. "Please I cant live without you" he cries.

"I don't care! You don't think it hurt me to see you with another girl!" I sob.

I back away from him and he comes closer. "Don't get near me" I sternly say.

I push him away and walk past him. He grabs my right arm. Almost by instinct I turn around and slap him. He holds his face and let go of me. I just stand and stare at him not knowing what to say.

"What the fuck Y/n!" he screams.

"I-Im sorry" I stutter nervous. I didn't mean to slap him I was just mad.

"Are you mad at me?" I ask. I feel so stupid. Asking him if he's mad at me after he cheats on me. What's wrong with me.

"Of course not" he sighed.

What now? What do I do now.

I broke down. I broke down. I slid down on the floor. Spencer immediately followed me down holding me in his arms.

I don't know what to do. I just feel hurt. So hurt.

I finally give in and sob into his chest. He holds me close and strokes my back. "Shh babe. I'm sorry love. I love you so freaking much." he says tears pouring from his face.

I don't even know what to think.

Do I stay with him? I love him but I just don't know.

I end up staying in his arms trying to make my decision.

I want to stay with him. I shouldn't let myself though.

"Spencer we need space"

——

It's been a couple weeks since Spencer kissed Lila. Spencer and I have talked. I try to sort out my feelings. And I finally did. I still want to be with Spencer.

We talked it all out today. And now i'm in the passengers seat of his car. We're going home, I didn't end up packing my stuff and getting a new apartment. I stayed at Elles house. She would go get me clothes from Spencer's sometimes.

I love Spencer. Like a lot. He tells me he loves me as much as I love him. I don't know though. I'm still kind of confused.

My thoughts were interrupted when Spencer put his hand on my thigh. I slightly flinched before taking his hand and putting it on his thigh. He gives me a confused look. "Sorry, I just don't want to be touched right now" I tell him. "That's fine love" he whispers before focusing on the road.

We arrive to his apartment. Oh I meant our.

I open the car door walking into the building. Spencer slightly jogs to catch up to me. We get into the elevator together.

Spencer puts his hand around my waist and brings me closer. He kisses my temple. "I love you so much" he whispers. "I love you too" I mumble.

It feels wrong. If he loves me why did he kiss her.

No Y/n. I said I wouldn't think like this.

I walk into our apartment and immediately go to our room.

I lie on the bed. "Are you going to sleep?" Spencer asks. "Mhm" I mumble.

He comes into the bed and wraps his arms around me. He spoons me. Why is touching me. Can he not. I scoot away. "What's wrong Y/n" he asked me. "Sorry" I whisper. I scoot closer to him. I can do this. It was months ago.

I lie on his chest and he kisses my head. I bite my tongue. Y/n don't say anything. He puts a hand under my chin lifting it. He gives me a light kiss.

That ticks me off. I get away from him and stand in the corner of the room. "Stop!" I yell.

"What's wrong baby?" he gets off the bed.

"Dont touch me please. Just don't kiss me or touch me or anything." I tell him. "I'm going to sleep in the living room" I say grabbing a pillow. "Why? Why are you going to the living room" he grabs my arm.

"I'm sorry I just don't want to be touched or kissed or anything" I tug my arm away from him.

"Why? Why can't I touch my own girlfriend" he looks at me angry. I can see hints of sadness behind the angry.

"Because" I say walking away from him. "So now I cant even kiss my girlfriend now?" he screams.

Something about that made me angry. So fucking angry. "Well maybe you should go kiss Lila!" I scream at Spencer.

I tried to let it go. I cant.

He looked at me in disbelief.

"Are you kidding me Y/n? You said you were over if!" he yells at me getting closer. I was basically cornered. He was right in front of me.

"How do you expect me to get over it Spencer" I say with tears running down my face. "I don't want you to hurt" he says. "What can I do to make this all better" Spencer asks.

"Nothing" I say honestly. There's nothing he can do to make it better.

"Please Y/n" he begs. I look into his eyes. His puppy dog eyes that I love so much.

"I think we should break up" I sigh.

I watch his reaction. It's as if you can see the exact moment his heart broke.

"No, No" he shakes his head.

"Yes Spencer." I grab my phone and keys to my car. He starts sobbing and I can't help but to feel bad.

"Leave, if you're going to leave do it now" he says in a low voice. I walkout his room not closing the door. I stand in the doorway he doesn't seem to notice. He goes into my drawer and grabs my favorite sweater.

He lies back down and cries into it. Y/n leave now. If you don't you'll get sucked back into this.

Spencer and I are over. All because of a kiss.

[amethyst-dreams-and-candy-canes]

Pain

AN: My humble submission for @cockslut-padalecki A Decade Under the Influence writing challenge. Here’s to another decade enjoying our hobbies 💜🖤. My song was Pain by Three Days Grace. I interpreted the song as a toxic relationship and honestly the first person who came to mind was Ranson Drysdale 🤷🏿‍♀️. The lyrics will be italicized. 

Warnings: toxic relationship, domestic abuse (emotional and physical w/ injuries), infidelity, non-con/dub-con (tagging both just in case), destruction of property, somnophilia, I’m not joking yall, heed the warnings this is TOXIC

Word Count: 1,569

I do not own the rights to the song nor the lyrics of the song

Pain without love

Pain, I can't get enough

Pain, I like it rough

'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Sitting on the side of the bed, you survey the damage. A hole in the wall. Shattered lamp near the nightstand. A bloody hand print on the pillow to your right. It draws your attention as you try to figure out whose blood it is. Doesn't matter, you're both bleeding. A cough to your left in the corner of the room makes you wince; he'll never admit it but this fight took a lot out of him. His breathing is labored and you wonder if you may have broken a rib. Good. 

You sigh as you rack your memory to figure out how you got here. They say no relationship is perfect but yours was pretty close. In the beginning, Ransom Drysdale was a perfect gentleman; always held the door open for you, brought you flowers and even watched that TV show with you that you knew he didn’t particularly care for. The first year was a dream. But then things started to go downhill. Fights with his family would result to him coming to your apartment and taking his frustrations out on you. You allowed it then; thinking you’d be a good outlet for him. But soon his ranting and raving turned into him degrading you. When his grandfather passed, the flood gates opened and your head was on a spindle, waiting for his next mood swing. Still you stayed even if you knew it was no longer a healthy relationship. Naively you continued to stand by his side telling yourself that at least he was physical with you and that had to mean he cared for you even if he could’t expression himself in a loving manner.

Then came the cheating. Openly flaunting his conquests in your mutual circles. At first you didn't want to believe it. You trusted him and he reciprocated your trust or so you assumed. But the pitied stares and crude whispers at your expense began to chip away at you. You'd confront him and at first, he denied it. You were the only one for him he had proclaimed and like a love sick puppy, you were his again. But when videos and photos were sent to your phone, hard evidence of his betrayal, he didn't even bother to come up with a good lie. He knew you loved him and used that to his advantage. But there was only so much you could take. So much you would take.

This life is filled with hurt

When happiness doesn't work

Trust me, and take my hand

When the lights go out, you'll understand

Another cough and a groan. He was attempting to stand up. Curses left his lips as he stands on wobbly legs, no doubt as dizzy as you are. You stare straight ahead, hoping that he wouldn’t want to continue the fight and leave you alone. He mutters to himself before he spits, blood and saliva landing on the tile next to your foot. You see his foot for a split second before he moves away from you and to the bathroom door. 

“Fucking bitch.” he quite literally spits. You want to retort, a scathing insult on your tongue but the throbbing in your head is too distracting to care. The door slams and you close your eyes, the exhaustion settling in your bones. And soul. 

"So, what? It's over? Give me a break." He laughed incredulously at you. The smirk that you had once found so handsome now was the bane of your existence. "Like you can find someone better, sweetheart."

"I can and I will!" You rant, pacing back and forth. He's perched on your counter-top, legs swing as he regards you with a humorous expression that only pisses you off more. 

"Yeah sure. Good luck with that."

You're sick of feeling numb

You're not the only one

I'll take you by the hand

And I'll show you a world that you can understand

The running water brings you back to the present and your heart breaks at the memory. He was right. No matter how many dates you went on, how many you invited into your bed. No one could compare. As much as you hated him, you loved him. Love him. 

You weren't expecting to see him sitting on your bed after your date. It was lackluster at best and you honestly just wanted to lay down and forget the whole ordeal. You sat your purse on the dresser and crossed your arms waiting for his tirade but when the silence stretched longer than you were comfortable with, you moved to go to the bathroom. He was on you in seconds, left hand secured firmly around your throat. "Really? You replaced me with that tool?" 

Anger and agony are better than misery

Trust me, I've got a plan

When the lights go up, you'll understand

You couldn't ignore the thrill that went through you at his anger. Serves him right. Too many nights you sat up and cried over his infidelity, his cruelty. About time he felt even an iota of the pain he put you through. Your eyes meet his as you stared him down. You knew he wanted an answer and your defiance would be the response. 

"You're such a cunt, you know that? Pathetic. I fucking hate you." You strike him before you know it. The slap resounded around the room. His hand leaves your throat as he grabs his face, eyes wide in shock. You didn't mean to hit him but your body moved faster than your brain, his audacity triggering your fight or flight. He lunged at you quicker than you thought he could and gave you a hard smack in return. His hand found your throat again and he shoved you against the wall, the back of your head smacking it loudly. 

"So you wanna be tough now, huh? Finally fight back?" He snarled too close to your face. You tried to shove him off but he was stronger and leaned his body in towards you. Your vision began to wane, either from the lack of oxygen or the hit against the wall you weren't sure. He was speaking, that much you were certain of but his words were lost in your determination to breathe. Grabbing at his wrist, you dropped your body weight and pulled him down with you. You both hit the floor and as soon as he released you, you crawled away from him and hit the nightstand causing the lamp to rock on the floor. He was on his feet quicker than you had expected and you grabbed the lamp and swung, the metal connecting to his side. 

"I hate you too, asshole." 

I know, I know, I know, I know, I know

That you're wounded

(You know, you know, you know, you know)

That I'm here to save you

(You know, you know, you know, you know)

I'm always here for you

(I know, I know, I know, I know)

That you'll thank me later

Hot air suffocated you and a heaviness settled over you so forcefully that you found it hard to draw a breath. The throbbing in your head had dulled but was present and you groaned. You tried to move away from the weight but you were pinned, unable to wiggle away. Consciousness ebbed and flowed but a sharp jolt on your lower body forced you towards awareness. A soft moan above you made you frown as another sharp thrust to your groin made you open your eyes. It was dark but you could see Ransom, lips parted and face contorted in pain or pleasure, you weren't sure. His face hovered close to yours and for a moment, a wave of panic washed over you at the thought he might kill you. Another thrust made you gasp and your fuzzy brain fought to catch up. 

"Don't fight it." He whispered almost uncharacteristically gentle as his hips rolled into yours. Gritting your teeth, you attempt to move away from him but he has your arms pinned to your sides. His lips find yours and the stunning pain of the cut makes you whimper. Another thrust and your legs part on their own accord and you writhe under him, the feeling of him inside of you a cruel comfort. He takes it as your submission and speeds up as he trails kisses from your jaw to your neck where he buries his face. Your head swims as you once again try to figure out just how you got here. He moans your name and bites into your neck, the small spark triggering your orgasm unexpectedly. His pace falters at the feel of you clenching around him and it isn’t long before he comes with a broken hiss of your name. 

“I love you.” his soft admission barely heard over his labored breathing. Tears sting your eyes as he nuzzles against you and wraps his arms across your torso. You don’t know who you hate more, him or yourself. As the tears fall into your hairline and his breathing evens out, you realize that the answer is yourself because you know the truth and can do nothing about it. 

“I love you too.”

Rather feel pain than nothing at all

Rather feel pain...

I’m not tagging a lot of people because I don’t want to offend: @avintagekiss24 @sapphirescrolls @cockslut-padalecki 

[honeytae]

Stop running from love.

hey bubs! honestly..i don’t know what this is lol it kind of got away from me. but it’s loosely based off of safety net by ariana grande. which is like one of my favorite songs in existence. i hope you guys like this angsty little piece of nothing?? lmao

tags: @ahgasearmyfan, @hoseokayy, @jjlovr2015 genre: angst, fluff? word count: 2.2k

if you would like to listen, here it is:

You were doing it again.

Sabotaging yourself. Running away. Ghosting a man who had only ever shown you the utmost care and respect.

He’d already called multiple times today, frantic texts showing that he was now beyond worried at the way you’d seemingly dropped off the face of the earth. 

You couldn’t blame him. You’d been exclusively dating for three months. Three beautiful and happy months alongside a great guy whose smile brightened every room he graced with his precious presence. Three months that you’d been able to not go into a panic about that very concept.

Until you fell.

The last time you’d seen Jimin was last week when he’d met with you after work for a quick bite to eat.

It was the same place you always went to; you didn’t even have to ask where you were meeting anymore, already on your way to the booth in the back corner with a stupid grin on your face.

The checker floored diner had become a regular spot for you two to stop at, as it was in the middle of the city and perfectly placed between both of your jobs.

That quick bite to eat had easily turned into a full dinner, along with a dessert that’s whipped cream ended up on the tip of his nose in an instant, your giggles causing him to grin wider as he played dumb.

It was simple, not extravagant or fancy by any means, but that was never needed with him. You always had so much fun with Jimin. He was gentle, sweet, caring. All the right things. 

And it was when he was walking you back up to your apartment, his hand gripping yours in a way that was soft yet secure, sparkling eyes pressing into crescents when he smiled over at you that you came to a stunning realization; you were falling in love with him. 

With a panicked last press of your lips to his cheek, you’d closed your door, leaning back against it as you stared ahead of you, absolutely paralyzed in the silence of your apartment.

You could not be in love. What even is love? Heartbreak, that’s what it is. One way or another, it will always end. You needed to pull back before you got too invested. But, fuck, was it too late?

Erupting into hysterics as you came to terms with what had to be done to protect both yourself and Jimin, you slid your back down the wood, placing your forehead on your knees as you curled up into yourself. 

Since then, you’d made it your mission to put him off, every text going unanswered and each call going to voicemail. 

And now here you were in your bed in the early hours of the afternoon, shades drawn to encase the room in pitch black. It matched your mood, frustrated and angry with yourself as you cried into your pillow. 

You hated yourself for doing this to him. Shutting him out with no explanation; he deserves more than you. In the end, this was to his benefit. He’d go on to find someone worthy of his companionship, someone who didn’t want to disappear at the concept of love. 

Someone with less baggage to drag along with them, someone who had a healthy idea of relationships and wasn’t shattered at their core. 

While it was painful to ignore him without giving a reason, you knew he’d give up on you eventually. Everyone always did, and it was just for the best. 

You hiccuped another sob as your phone buzzed on the table yet again, grabbing the pillow from beside you to sandwich your head between the mattress and the fluffy material, effectively muffling the noise of the vibration as you screwed your sore eyes shut. 

“Love?”

You froze at the sudden unmistakable sound of Jimin’s voice calling for you, head spinning as you shut your eyes tighter. 

Were you imagining Jimin’s voice beside you? Were you that far gone?

You were proven wrong when the blanket was pulled off of your body, cold air hitting the bare skin of your arms as the pillow was removed from atop your head. 

You gasped at the sudden exposure, prying your eyes open to look up at none other than Jimin, the hurt and worried look on his face immediately causing you to sob again. 

“Shit, baby, come here.” He rushed to sit down beside you, you easily crawling onto his lap as he wrapped his arms around your back, palm smoothing up and down your spine as he slowly rocked you back and forth. 

You sat there silently, letting yourself be comforted by him. For some reason, Jimin was harder to push away than the others. His arms felt so nice around you, like home. 

But this had to be done. You wanted him to stay like this in your memory, his image remaining undamaged by any painful breakup. 

“Jimin, I-I can’t see you anymore. We can’t be together.” You forced out, heart twisting in agony at the silence ensuing after your words, Jimin shifting you up his lap to look at you. 

“What do you mean?” He asked in disbelief, eyebrows knitting together as his eyes widened, you shaking your head instead of giving him a verbal answer due to the growing lump in your throat at his undeniably heartbroken expression. 

“We just can’t, Jimin.” You said lamely, your tight grip on his arm contradicting your words as his mouth gaped open at you. 

“Wh- what’s wrong? What did I do?” He asked desperately, causing you to sob harder at him blaming himself for this. 

“It’s not you, Jimin. You’re amazing, you deserve a better person.” You sniffled, Jimin immediately pulling a face of further confusion as he shook his head to dismiss your words. 

“A better- what are you talking about?” He asked, chasing your eyes as you chose to divert them to stare at the blank wall in front of you. 

“You deserve someone amazing just like you, Jimin.” You mumbled, the man sitting there in silence before he shifted off of the bed, making you think you’d finally pushed him away. 

The feeling of his weight being removed from the bed both pained and relieved you, happy for him to be able to move on now, but sad at that same idea. 

But you were taken by surprise when Jimin kneeled on the floor in front of you, forcing you to look at him as he reached up to hold your chin, eyes imploring yours to be more upfront with him. 

“You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met. What are you talking about?” He repeated his question, silence lingering in the air at the words as you sat anxiously plucking the sheets below you with your fingers. 

“Baby.” He called for you, his hurt tone causing your nose to scrunch up with more tears, his thumbs catching the salty water as his expression became more pained by the second. 

“Let me in. Please, just let me in.” He pleaded with you, voice soft yet firm as he watched you break down in front of him, heart pounding in his chest at the mere thought of losing you from his life because of whatever insecurities you were not telling him about. 

“I’m fucking broken, Jimin. You don’t want to be let in, believe me.” You said, voice weak and wavering from the emotions bubbling up in your throat, shaky from the nights of no sleep you'd gotten in the last week. 

“Yes, I do. I’d accept all of you if you just gave me a chance.” He gripped your hands with his, intertwining your fingers to give a reassuring squeeze.

Staring at him, you did not know what to say. Nobody had ever pushed back on your walls like this. They accepted it, moved on, and lived a better life without you in it. You just wished Jimin would do the same.

But he was fighting you on it. Fighting you on something you didn’t even want to do in the first place. 

“I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. And that fucking terrifies me.” You explained shakily, concentrating on the feeling of Jimin’s palm running up and down your arm. 

“I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, either. It’s new, of course it’s scary. But I care about you, I want you, I miss you. I don’t want you to shut me out.” He said softly, his honeyed voice soothing you enough to make eye contact with his gentle brown orbs. 

It was silent as you stared at each other, fear in his eyes and the same reflecting in your own. Studying his features, your heart twisted at his uncharacteristically dark circles, realizing he was probably running on the same amount of sleep you were at the moment. 

“I don’t know where to go from here.” You sniffled, Jimin tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as his glassy eyes stared back at you. 

Feeling confident enough to stand from the floor and sit beside you on the bed, he let you guide him up against the headboard, resting your backs on it as you let out a sigh.

“Stop pushing me away. Stop running from love.” He responded, his words sounding so genuine that you nearly burst out into tears again. 

Instead, you wrapped your arms around his neck, placing your temple on his shoulder as his arms encircled your torso. 

“I want to be with you.” You admitted in a hoarse whisper, head throbbing as you rested your weight on Jimin, body giving out in exhaustion as he held you to him, delicate as if you’d break. Hell, maybe you would. 

“Me too.” He said without missing a beat, eagerness evident in his tone as you let your aching eyes fall shut. 

“I just don’t know how.” You sighed, the man humming in response as he threaded his fingers through your hair, rubbing your scalp soothingly as he pressed a tender kiss to the top of your head. 

“We can figure it out together, okay? I don’t want to throw in the towel. Not without at least a little bit of a fight.” He joked, the heavy mood in the room being lightened a bit at the sound of your exhaled laugh. 

You lifted your head to look at him, opening your eyes to meet his own in the dark room, barely able to make out his features as the sun must have gone in behind the clouds outside your bedroom.

“I don’t think you know what you’re getting yourself into, Jimin. I’m a mess. If you want to run, go now.” You spoke seriously, one corner of the man’s lips lifting as he bit down on his cheek, a habit you’d picked up early on as behavior he exhibited when he was hesitant to say something. 

“Listen, I’m a mess too. This is nothing.” He reassured you, your eyes studying his features as he seemed to express a vulnerability you hadn’t seen before with him. 

“Trying to break up with you because of my own baggage and insecurities? That’s nothing?” You asked with a humorless chuckle, causing the man to reach out for your hand, sighing out a breath of relief when you let him lock his fingers around yours again.

“Well, I guess that in itself is something.” He shrugged, shuffling to hover over you as your red eyes met his. 

“But I will always fight for you. You’re worth fighting for.” He said firmly, your eyes becoming glassed over again before you picked your head up off the pillow to catch his lips in a kiss, your palms sliding to the back of his neck as his plush lips worked over yours. 

Sensing your emotions, he pulled back only slightly to press his lips over your closed eyelids, the tender action causing your frown to deepen as you gazed up at the sweet man. 

“I’m not going to leave you. Whatever’s been done to you in the past, I’m not a repeat of that. I would never do anything to hurt you, I promise.” He said softly, his words seemingly making your heart alive again as it began to pound rapidly in your chest. 

And with that, you threw caution to the wind. Even if he broke your heart, you couldn’t stop that from cutting your experience with him shorter than it had to be. 

Because Jimin was the softest, sweetest, most lovable man you’d ever met. He showed time and time again that he cared about you, that he wasn’t like the others. And to give him up just because of some bad past experiences was just not worth it. 

“I trust you.” You whispered, almost scared to let the words fall from your lips, but relieved when you saw the wide smile on Jimin’s face. 

“I trust you, too.” He said softly, tracing his finger over your cheek as he leaned down to kiss you again, laying down beside you to spoon your body with his, pressing his lips against your shoulder in a soothing action. 

Laying in his arms, you felt more at peace than you’d felt in days. Being back in his embrace, you felt like you could breathe again, easily falling into much needed sleep with his warmth pressed to your back, his arms looped around your body as he pressed tender kisses to the shell of your ear. 

Jimin was your home. And it felt so good to be home. 

[carryingthebanner]

NEWSIES (almost) CLOSING SHOW THOUGHTS pt.1

I am once again watching my comfort musical and recording my unsolicited thoughts on it.

Act 1

THE APPLAUSE

I’m already getting a lump in my throat and I’m not even 5 seconds in

How do you even cope backstage with all of that support??? I would be a sobbing, snotty nosed mess-

Not me smiling and getting chills at a black screen

Ok maybe I just don’t listen to the Overture enough but it seems faster then usual?

I literally have no clue what Jack is saying

OMG ITS ANDY AS CRUTCHIE AHHHH I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS FOR SUCH A LONG TIME

Crutchie really just saw his life flash before his eyes 💀

Jack and Crutchie really do have the best friendship ughh *cries*

They’re so cute I can’t

*Sings* Back to blackkk

Ok wow this harmony >>>

Y’ALL ANDY’S SINGING IS BEAUTIFUL I’M SO UPSET I WONT BE HEARING LETTER FROM THE REFUGE IN THIS

Words cannot express how in love I am with Jack and Crutchie singing Santa Fe (Prologue) together

It’s been 15 minutes and I’m still replaying this specific part someone help

TIS MUSIC TO MY EARS

(Welcome to yet another musical where I just want to stop at a happy moment and not continue the rest of the it because I’m honestly not in the best of moods today and I don’t wanna see my comfort character get beaten within inches of his life)

Finally prying my fingers away from the rewind button :( the show must go on I guess

JACK IS LITERALLY SCREAMING FOR THE NEWSBOYS TO GET UP I CANTT 💀

IS THAT AARON ALBANO?!

This is probably the rowdiest I’ve seen them act

Wait does Jack have Race’s cigar?

KATHERINE MY BELOVED

ROMEO AND JACK IM CACKLING

Small detail: Crutchie grabbing his leg to determine the weather

“I don’t need the limp to sell papes, I got personality” SLIGHTLY SASSY CRUTCHIE SUPREMACY

He definitely has a smile that spreads like butter

OK FOR A QUICK SECOND IT LOOKED LIKE CRUTCHIE WAS READY TO THROW SOME HANDS

ANDY H O W DID YOU JUST MOVE ACROSS THE STAGE THAT FAST THERE IS NO WAY-

This is very chaotic but what else did I expect from a bunch of newsboys

Andy moves by basically bouncing around the stage and my eyes can’t keep up

CHAOTIC

The immense love I have for this choreography <3

I always live for the interaction between Elmer and the Nun

unpleasant AROMA

MY HAND JUST FLEW OVER MY MOUTH THE WAY HE PUSHED CRUTCHIE-

Jack is very protective of Crutchie. He’s practically screaming at Morris right now

Noted: Corey’s Jack does a lot of yelling

I’m pretty sure the choreographer kinda let them do whatever they wanted for Carrying The Banner and it shows. They’re really going all out with the choreo and I LOVE IT.

The audience is a bunch of feral fansies, I can tell (because it takes one to know one and yes this is a call out)

“Howz it going weeeZULL”

*inhales* CRUTCHIE MY BELOVED

LES IS JUST A BABY OMG

Woah ok we got a lot of Jacobs family stans in the audience!!

It’s kinda unsettling how Morris is just suspiciously looking down at Davey from one of the towers

I’ve been in this fandom for close to a year and I still don’t know what “can’t count to 20 with his shoes on” means (can someone explain lol)

THE ACTOR PLAYING LES IS GETTING ALL THE APPLAUSE AND I JUST KNOW THAT LES WOULD’VE LOVED ALL OF THIS ATTENTION

Whenever I see a Newsie on Pulitzer’s desk my mind just goes to “Pulitzer may own the World but he don’t own us!” so yes, stand on his furniture all you want to boys

“HE’S A COMMIE!”

Nunzio’s heart rate: 📈

Pulitzer is one of those people who treats everybody else like they’re dumb and until they finally get it

“They’ll be learning a real life lesson in economics” um no these are literal kids who deserve to have the opportunity to go to a school like your own kids instead of struggling on the street because you want to be an olden day Karen

Pulitzer is really driving the villain aspect home here

Carrying The Banner is such a bop that they play it even after the song has ended. Thank you creative team.

You can tell that it’s physically painful for Jack to watch Davey sell papes

“KELLLYYYY” Surprisingly, Snyder sounds like he hates his job 💀 (well I take that back, he probably just hates the chasing part but loves the locking up poor defenseless kids for no reason other than to fuel his sadistic power trip part)

YES MEDDA DESERVES ALL THE APPLAUSE

MEDDA, OUR GRACEFUL, GLAMOROUS, ICONIC QUEEN

LES NODDED AFTER MEDDA TOLD DAVEY TO STEP OUT OF HIS WAY I AM LOSING MY MIND AT THIS-

I’m screamingg HE WAVED AT THE BOWERY BEAUTIES AFER

Medda definitely doesn’t get tired of hearing Jack’s infamous Teddy Roosevelt carriage story

“He don’t, but I do”

Jack’s one of those people who say “Stop, my *insert talent* isn’t even good!” and then when he shows it to you it’s the best thing you have ever had the pleasure of viewing

(Head)Canon: Jack hates compliments, unless it’s from a certain someone *cough* David *cough* or Katherine*

The way Medda looks at Jack after he claims it’s all “just a bunch of trees” SHE WANTS HIM TO RECOGNIZE HIS TALENT INSTEAD OF DOWNPLAYING IT OK

Her voice is so pretty-

I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS PERFORMANCE. SHE LOOKS SO HAPPY AND YOU CAN TELL SHE’S HAVING FUN

The audience

Katherine really hates Jack 😍

Every time I hear the banter between Jatherine I just wish they would’ve kept (most of) it in the cast recording

She’s really out here hurting this man’s feelings-

You can tell Jack is running out of pick up lines

OOH KATHERINE IS PISSED AT THAT LOUSY REPORTER COMMENT

Liana’s Katherine seems a lot more relentless so I don’t see her letting up on Jack anytime soon

Wait it’s Iain Young - I THOUGHT HE WAS ONLY IN TOURSIES

OK LES YOU DID NOT HAVE TO USE THAT MUCH FORCE

The audience is just one big Les fan club

THAT SLOW HEAD TURN IM SCREAMING

I love how you can tell the exact moment where Davey gets accepted as one of the Newsies :)

Jack constantly cupping the Newsies faces is the cutest thing ever <3

THE WORLD WILL KNOW IS SO FIERCE

“Will we HEAR ITTT?!” JACK IS SCREAMING AGAIN YES WE LOVE A LOUD AND BOISTEROUS JACK

“And I lost my shoe” :( hope you find it again buddy

LES IS SO FUNNY IM DYINGGG

OK WOAH JACK’S FEELINGS DEFINITELY GOT HURT BECAUSE HE DID NOT SEEM TOO EXCITED TO SEE KATHERINE

Have I mentioned how much I love Crutchie?

Writer’s Block: The Song

“No, Jack - I don’t know what to say” 🥺

Once again, Ben Fankhauser’s vocals do not disappoint

Crutchie: *INCOHERENT NOISES*

Oh look it’s a Guzman twin!

DAVID AND LES’ HUG MY HEART JUST EXPLODED

This is the most affectionate Seize The Day I’ve ever seen, I’m gonna cry-

Cue Jack cupping yet another Newsies’ face 🥺

IM APPROXIMATELY TWO SECONDS AWAY FROM HAVING MY TEARS SPILL OUT OF MY EYEBALLS

Oh, it is Aaron Albano

Corey Cott’s acting in this song >>>

Davey holding back a Newsie 💀

Davey is really the epitome of “I don’t get paid enough for this”

THE PASSION IN JACK’S SPEECH

JACK AND DAVEY RUNNING AWAY WHEN THE REAL DANCING STARTS WILL NEVER NOT MAKE ME LAUGH

I ACTUALLY WINCED THE DELANCEY BROTHERS PUNCHED DAVEY SO FAST I DIDN’T EVEN SEE THAT COMING-

LET GO OF LES YOU COWARDS

Ok Ben’s acting is top tier because I spent a whole five minutes wondering if the actor playing one of the delancey’s accidentally punched him for real or not

Some bullies just interrupted our emotional dance break, time to deal with them and then proceed to dance again 😍

Ahh yes, the fouette (?) towards the end of Seize The Day my beloved

The annoying lump in my throat will not go away :)

SOMEONE IN THE AUDIENCE IS JUMPING UP AND DOWN CHEERING FOR THE NEWSIES

Here comes the worst part

And the chaos ensues

IS IT JUST BEAT UP ON DAVEY DAY OR WHAT?

At first I thought Les was screaming “Let me go!” and “No, please!” but no, it’s Crutchie and he got slapped right after he said that :(

Crutchie’s screams are here to haunt my dreams (for the umpteenth time)

YES CRUTCHIE PUT UP A FIGHT

WAIT I AM JUST NOW REALIZING THAT DAVEY TRIED TO SAVE CRUTCHIE BUT COULDNT

THE WAY THEY KNOCKED HIM ON THE GROUND HAS GOT TO BE THE MOST BRUTAL BEAT DOWN I’VE SEEN so I’m going to cover my eyes for the rest of this because I know what happens and I do not like it :)

I HATE THAT I OPENED MY EYES BECAUSE THEYRE DRAGGING HIM AWAY ON HIS BAD LEGG AND I JUST UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Who knew a fictional character could make me hurt this bad :/

I feel like Jack is in denial

Sometimes escapism isn’t exactly a healthy coping mechanism, Jack (oh look I’m calling myself out too)

Wait I think Corey might be tearing up ahhhhh

Oh would you look at the time it’s pretty late so I might do a pt.2 later

[dovenymph]

since we’re alone

authors note: a little peter blurb inspired by niall horan’s song since we’re alone (literally best song ever!) i hope u like it pls be kind and don’t repost my work anywhere thank u!

find my masterlist here

word count: 728

warnings: a smidge of self deprecation, but it’s overall fluff☁️☁️☁️

peter watched you from across the room as you rested your chin on your knee, which was hastily bouncing up and down on the couch cushion, lightly jostling his phone all across the other side of the large black couch.

he had been doing some homework with return of the jedi playing absentmindedly on the flatscreen tv that was mounted in the middle of the compounds living room, when you walked in, silently and with a gloomy, grey cloud storming over your head.

“do you mind if i join you, pete?”

“of course you can, bird”

(a nickname he had given you the first time he’s swung you around the city, and you said you felt as if you were flying. one of his favorite memories due to the fact that your hair had blown back away from your face and he was able to take in all your beautiful features, like time had slowed down)

and that was all that had been said for the better part of the hour and peter knew something was wrong. he normally could never get you to stop talking, not that he’d ever want you to, but still, the silence that fell over the room was unnatural and he didn’t know what to do.

“a-are you alright, y/n?”

“yeah petey, why’d y’ask?” you responded, voice barely a whisper, with a smile that didn’t meet your eyes.

“i don’t know, you just seem quiet ‘s’all.” he said and that was all it took for you to curl in on yourself and break out into squeaky cries. peter stared over at you in shock, racking his brain for any past experience he could relate this too but he was coming up blank as he’d never seen you cry before; you’d only ever been his fun and energetic best friend, or the smart, impressive, and put together heir to the Stark legacy.

“whoa, whoa, whoa, what’s wrong?” peter crawled, quite ungracefully, to your side of the couch and hesitantly wrapped his arms around your shoulders.

“s-sorry pete, i-i’m distracting you from your work and your movie.” you let out, jutting out your bottom lip, self hatred slowly running through your body. you knew you hadn’t been yourself lately, hadn’t been the person peter became best friends with, and you were terrified your seemingly constant bad mood would drive him away.

“bird, you know i’ve seen this movie a million times before, come on. talk to me… talk to me if you want, if not, i’m okay with just sitting here with you until you feel better.” he said, heart racing in chest at your close proximity.

with a deep breath, inhaling his ever present scent of coffee and the body wash he constantly stole from you which comforted your entire body, you began; “i- i just don’t know anymore. it’s all just so overwhelming. the pressure of school and keeping up with my friends, it’s just all piling up, and, and i can’t seem to ever get my dad’s attention, no matter how much i try and i know he’s busy but i just feel so small and i’ve never felt this stuck in the dark before… and i don’t know how to get out.”

peter literally felt his heart shatter as you meekly ranted, every time your breath hitched or voice cracked, he’d tighten his arms around you, praying to every deity that he could take the pain from your body and absorb it into his own.

“hey, hey shh, none of that, okay? everyone find themself in a rut once in a while. it’s completely natural how you’re feeling, but that doesn’t mean it has to last forever. or that you have to go through it alone. I’m here for you.” peter said, sincerity lacing every word that came out.

“ugh, i know, but i’ve just been bringing everybody down lately, seriously, you should go see if ned is available, i’m just feeling sorry for myself.”

“there’s- there’s actually nothing i’d rather do than be with you, y/n.” peter said so simply and so honestly that your head snapped up to meet his and he sent you a smile as soft as his touch that seemed to put a bandage over your internal wounds. it wasn’t permanent, but maybe if he spoke to you and held you like that enough, you’d slowly heal, together.