#must watch funny youtube videos first. for morale

[simcardiac-arrested]

waking up to an alien bursting out of my chest are

[enemywasp]

Alright so someone on tiktok sent me a link to a compiled list of arguments against proshippers and so I wanted to put a sort of brief response of my own thoughts of each point.

Long post warning!

"Proshippers are non-offending minor attracted people in a fresh paint of coat"

What a start, am I right? Okay so first off this is a huge generalisation, not every proshipper engages with or is even comfortable with anything that sexualises fictional children, or ships them with adults. And of those that do ship adult/minor ships, it doesn't always mean they're attracted to the character themselves or gains any sexual pleasure from that.

They then went on to say that although they might be non-offending, they still fantasise about and romanticise children- in the case of proshippers by creating art and stories. And I am not personally educated enough on how people's minds works to go in depth here, but I do know a lot of pedophilic thoughts can be intrusive and unwanted. And I would much rather people engage in this and deal with their thoughts through fiction where no actual children are harmed, than actually go touch a real child or engage is any form of CSEM.

“People can draw and ship whatever they want!”

Here they went on to say that surely to ship and create content you must justify these things in some capacity regardless of them being fictional. And immediately I'd argue, the justification it that they're fictional. And that sometimes you want to read about things you'd never approve of in real life, it's a natural curiosity. And again, regardless of what the dark content is I would take someone engaging in fiction over harming a real person any day.

They compared this to alt-right groups and dark humour justifying racism and transphobia, etc. And whilst I think something we should always be aware of in fiction is stereotypes and how we may be representing people. Youtube videos like this are usually a type of propaganda that AIM to change people's mindsets and turn them against groups. Whereas fiction tells a story, some may have meanings and connections to real life, be a political piece, etc. Not everything is that serious and has a clear distinction from reality.

Think for example, reading/watching about murder and gore. More on that in a second.

"Fiction doesn't affect reality!"

I'm going to be honest I rolled my eyes at this as their main example was slenderman. If you don't know about that, those girls were schizophrenic. Anything could of set off and caused delusions, it just so happened to be fiction. Those girls needed help- not to just read purer content. They also basically brought up propaganda again, which is again deliberate and designed to warp peoples perceptions. Its based of lying and spreading misinformation and passing it as facts. The only thing I strongly believe can be directly harmful is stereotypes if not handled with care. But I think that's something for anyone who writes and consumes content should be aware of regardless of their stances.

Again here they implied that all proshippers are peodophiles. And that they normalise abuse of children. I'd also like to point out that most proshippers I've interacted with online have age boundaries to avoid interacting with minors depending on how graphic or sexual their content is.

"What do you think all stories about murder should stop existing?"

Here they basically argued that killing in media isn't the same as its not romanticised or condoned. YA Novels disagree- mafia stories being the most immediate example to spring to mind. Furthermore, morally grey villains. One of my favourite films is Mr Right. It's about a hitman killing people. Anna kendrick falls in love with him and its framed as a romantic comedy. Funny how its only fanfiction that's criticised like this? I actually have more thoughts on this if anyones interested.

Again they bring up kids not knowing adults pursuing children is wrong, and I'm questioning why children this young are unsupervised on the Internet. How young were you when you were allowed to watch anything with graphic blood or violence? This content isn't made for kids! Especially not anyone so young they can't seperate fiction from reality as most sites have a specific age you have to be to join. And I'm sorry to say it, but on websites and social media where adults can interact with kids, anything can be used to groom kids. (The real thing you should be mad about here is how there's no websites aimed just for children and safe spaces on the Internet anymore cause it can't be monetised as easily)

"Artists are allowed to draw and write about dark people"

They basically said, yes but it's not the same as promoting. Writing something under a romantic light and not saying "Don't do at home!" Isn't promoting. No ones encouraging these things in real life. Or rather, if they are its not because they're a proshipper but rather who they are as a person and their intentions.

The trans example they used is very extreme and honestly something I agree with a little more, fiction can definitely be used as an excuse to say and act out hateful and discriminatory things. Whilst I do think it's something we should discuss and unpack more, I'm not certain of my view on how I would fix this without risking silencing people talking about their experiences.

"Its not my responsibility to look after other people, just block me and the tags"

Here they threw all kinds of accusations. And says that we're making traumatised people jump through hoops to avoid getting retraumatised. I hate this argument, you know people have actual triggers they may not be able to avoid in real life? The world can't bend around you. And I am very sorry if any content online is traumatising to you, but someone could also be traumatised by a certain breed of dog and not want to see it. Should no one post dogs online ever again? A bald man reminds you of an abusive ex? Bald men get off the Internet! You see how this thing can just keep escalating? The tags and warnings are important because they're the best you can get. You can't control the world to protect everyone from everything ever. No ones forcing you to interact, and if you're on any algorithm based content that will encourage that content on your for your page more.

The only thing I think we should take from this is the reminder that warnings and tags are always important.

"You only care about censoring creativity"

Here they defend themselves that oh wouldn't you want freaks out the community! Which again immediately makes me lose respect for you, if you're just going to brand us all as freaks as an argument and generalize us.

No comment on that first line when you can easily argue antishipper do the same.

"Proshippers are not remotely innocent of targeted harrasement" Neither are antis. There's people who take things too far both sides and I'm not going to defend either for that.

"Real kids get assaulted and all you care about is censoring people online!"

Here they shout "oh I can care about both!" But what I don't think they realise is censorship can make it difficult for kids and to learn about how to speak up and to look for signs, or to speak up about their experiences. How do you plan on removing the topic from the Internet whilst also letting victims speak up? And people may want to write fiction based off their experiences. Who are you to go through it and proclaim what is too far, what romanticises it too much? More on this later.

"Antis are reducing my trauma"

They compared this to saying "date rape victims are reducing my trauma because they weren't taken advantage of in the same way as me" which is a disgusting parallel?? Date rape is still rape. Someone writing about something isn't the same as it happening. Although it can be used as harrasment, grooming, etc if directly addressed to you or being constantly sent to you, written about you. But the content existing in general? No.

"I'm coping"

Compared it to self harm, and such. Poetry and diaries are also used to write about your experiences and unpack trauma. Some of which may write it in an unrealistically positive light cause that's how they want to unpack it or explain those thoughts. And yes these things get posted online.

I can't imagine a single therapist or professional psychiatrist of any kind disapproving of creative writing because, again, it's much better than any alternatives of doing real harm to yourself or people around you. Although I do agree that if something is traumatising for you to read about and just upsets you further, be aware of your own boundaries but not everyone is the same so how are you going to police people's own thoughts and emotions.

Also I can't remember who or where as it was years ago now, but I have heard of people who actually realised they were being groomed or abused and just how bad it was through reading about it in a fanfic and seeing it in an outside perspective.

They also say to do it in private, but doesn't everyone on the Internet now have an understanding of finding a community and looking out for eachother and sharing experiences?

"There's more nuance here than just calling proshippers peodophiles"

Here they say no matter what it still comes down to whether it's ever okay to sexualise minors in certain contexts. And again, not every proshipper does this or is even comfortable with engaging in this kind of content. And further, no one is sexualising real minors in this context.

"I'm a proshipper and a minor tho!"

I'd agree minors should be wary of the spaces they're in but proship spaces aren't always necessarily sexual, graphic or 18+. Saying they're being groomed feels like you're watering down that term. I was a proshipper at age 13, I didn't interact with anyone online about it though, I didn't even know that was the term. I just came to the conclusion that it's just fiction all on my own. Minors aren't idiots.

At then end they talk about their own experience being groomed and I'm obviously not going to nitpick or criticise their experiences. I will point out that one person being bad and taking advantage of you and using content to do so doesn't mean everyone is like that. I am sorry to anyone who has been taken advantage of by someone who claims they're a proshipper though. There are people who have turned out to be horrible on both sides.

I am ill and it's late but I want to get this up sooner rather than later so please ask for clarification on anything. I'm always up for a discussion on this topic as I do believe some of these points do have merits at times and that this whole topic is not black and white

[brighteyedbushybrowed]

Share ten different favorite characters from ten different pieces of media in no particular order Then send this to 10 people (anon or not, your choice) 🎥🎬📺

Whooping, cheering, hollering, a chance for me to yell about my faves ❤️ here are my faves in no particular order:

Eddie Munson, Stranger Things - This one is obvious. He's a character I really connect with as someone who was also the school freak throughout most of my time at school. He also gives me big gender envy and I've never been so attached to a character like I am with Eddie.

Dorian Pavus, Dragon Age: Inquisition - I love this man to the moon and back. He's witty, funny, intelligent, handsome as hell, but most importantly he's an incredibly important character for me. A gay, POC character, who fights for what's in his heart and who he is regardless of what his countrymen back in Tevinter think of him. (Also fun fact they based him and some of his design on Freddie Mercury)

Sagacious Zu, Jade Empire: Ah, one of the first edgy sad men I had a crush on when I was younger. I love all of the Jade Empire characters, but Zu especially holds a place in my heart. He's also the first fictional character death I cried over.

Morgana, BBC's Merlin - I love Morgana. She's a great, complex character and her transition from good to villain will forever be iconic to me. Her whole character arc in the show and the way the writers sewed the seeds for her to become a villain very early on is what inspires me to write badass, morally grey women with the potential to become a villain if the story calls for it.

Solomon Wreath, Skulduggery Pleasant - Can't have a favourite character list without a character from my favourite book series! SP and the character of Solomon were my first introduction to necromancy and the concept that life and death flow into one another rather than being completely separate concepts. Even now, when I reread the books for what must be the millionth time at this point, he's still the one I loom forward to meeting again.

Bella Goth, The Sims franchise - She is beauty. She is grace. She disappeared in Sims 2 and I adore the lore surrounding her and what happened to her. Plumbella has some amazing videos on it and there's also a v cool Sims 4 Machina called Bella Goth Reborn on YouTube that is absolutely incredible and you should all watch it.

Vergil, Devil May Cry - This man. This man is hot. I love a hero to villain arc, but what I love more is a villain to ally arc. Vergil going from villain to ally in more than one game and his motivation being having the power he never had to save his mother as a child are I credibly interesting to me and what make his character more complex than a character such as Dante or Lady. Those layers that the fandom explores are what make me love him so much (also he's hot).

River Song, Doctor Who - Listen. She has me in a chokehold. She's a badass woman and the moment I first saw her onscreen I was in love. Getting to explore more of her character through watching the show amd having to wait for that pay off while trying to figure out who she was with the clues that we were given is one of the fondest memories I have of watching Doctor Who when I was younger.

Raikou Shimizu, Nabari No Ou - My favourite ever manga and honestly, hand on heart, the one manga I recommend to everyone. It's a beautiful manga and choosing a fave is difficult, but it has to be Raikou. He's once again a fascinating, multi-layered character, and I think he's a v good example of a character that appears to be a villain at first but at the end of the day is just trying to do what's best and make the world a better place just like the other teens and young adults in the manga are.

Giorno Giovanna, JJBA Vento Aureo - Giorno is the best Jojo you can't change my mind. Also the fact that had he been included in Part 6 of the manga the whole ending likely would've changed dramatically is smth I think about a lot. I adore Giorno's character and he is what made me enjoy Part 5 so much. I've even got a figure of him in my childhood bedroom and a poster of him in my uni bedroom. I often wonder what his relationship with his father would've been like had he not been killed off in Part 3 and if they'd ever met.

[tilbageidanmark]

Movies I watched this week - 39

I spent over 50 (!) hours on the sofa this week, (enjoying myself 85% of the time)...

Sløborn, an ominous Danish-German TV pandemic series, very much like Soderbergh’s ‘Contagion’ and in ‘Black Mirror’ style. Normal life of a small island community between Denmark and Germany breaks down and completely collapses when it is hit by a lethal bird flue like virus.

It was extremely prescient, as it was shot in 2019, before Covid! Conceived as Si-fi, it looks today like TV, because the series was able to capture everything that happened around the world after January 2020 in accurate details.

With Roland Møller (of ‘Riders of Justice’). 7+/10

✴️      

My introduction to “The grandmother of The French New Wave”, Agnès Varda (Hard to believe that I never saw her films before!):

✳️✳️✳️ “Inspiration, Creation and Sharing...” Varda by Agnès, my first Varda is her last 2019 auto-biography, in which, at 90, she shared footage and stories from her life and work. The first sample clip (of meeting her Uncle Yanco in Sausalito) won me over, and the rest convinced me to catch up on everything I’ve missed through the years. What a wonderful artist!

✳️✳️✳️ Cléo from 5 to 7. A feminine film about female identity - a new favorite! A beautiful singer must wait 2 hours for the results of her cancer tests. With a magnifique mid-film scene (at 0;38) of the heartbreaking chanson 'Sans Toi', marking the beginning of her quiet transformation.

✳️✳️✳️ Vagabond, a story of a lonely, young woman, an unapologetic drifter, unglamorous, aimless, independent, desperately lost. Dark and nonjudgmental exploration of the refusal to conform to anything. 8+/10.

✳️✳️✳️ (For Sammy - Per our conversation). The Gleaners and I, "The eighth best documentary film of all time”, per ‘Sight & Sound poll. Derived from the famous painting by Millet. Simply wonderful!

✳️✳️✳️ One Hundred And One Nights, 100 year old Michel Piccoli “Monsieur Simon Cinema”, hires a young girl to reminisce with about the history of cinema. An unsuccessful Meta-film that nevertheless is a love letter for cinephiles. Populated by 3 dozens of Who’s Who of French (and World) stars, playacting in this symbolic, Fellinisque fable that draws upon the classics. Mastroianni, Depardieu, Belmondo, Alain Delon, Catherine Deneuve, Jeanne Moreau, Anouk Aimée, Fanny Ardant, Gina Lollobrigida, Jane Birkin, etc, etc..

(Photo Above).

✳️✳️✳️ The Young Girls of Rochefort, the wonderful, colorful, sentimental musical by Varda’s husband Jacques Demy, with the most beautiful woman in the world and her sister. Romantic eye candy set to music by Michel Legrand. A year later Deneuve would do Belle de Jour, and Françoise Dorléac would die in a car accident, 8+/10

✳️✳️✳️ Even better, The Young Girls Turn 25, Varda’s 1993 behind the scenes documentary and return to small town Rocheford, to show how it changed the town and left an impression. 9/10

“...The memory of happiness is perhaps also happiness...”

✴️         

The other Jacques Demy modern opera The Umbrellas of Cherbourg knocked me over all over again. Catherine Deneuve’s angelic beauty in this film made me cry for the duration like a baby. And not only at the train station when they say goodbye forever.

10/10

✴️          

Night moves, a tense thriller by Kelly Reichardt, about three radical environmentalists who blow up an Oregon dam. Slow and tense, and like her ‘First Cow’, watching it filled me with constant, low-level anxiety. The off-screen sabotage is placed at the exact mid-point of the movie: The first half is the preparation for it, and the second half shows the aftermath of the act. 7+/10

✴️        

2 unexpected Small Town gems by Miguel Arteta:

✳️✳️✳️ The good Girl, an odd and surprising mismatched romance between 30 year old Jennifer Aniston and Jake Gyllenhaal (22) as employees of a Texas big-box store that is always empty. Her voice-over reminded me of True Romance’s Alabama Whitman. 7/10

✳️✳️✳️ Ed Helms, a sheltered insurance salesman from the backwaters of Wisconsin, goes to an convention in the big city of Cedar Rapids, Iowa. The nearly conventional story arc has some genuinely heartfelt funny moments. With Maeby Fünke, as Bree the prostitute and Sigourney Weaver as the ex-teacher he balls. Also a surprising drug party, where he smoke crack cocaine and loves it. 5+/10

✴️          

Same theme of people prostituting their own ‘morals’, the notoriously-prudish 1993 Indecent Proposal didn’t age too well. “Billionaire”-porn that asks the question ‘How much would you pay for one night with Robert Redford?’ Gratuitous semi-naked Demi Moore included.

Related: “Stop hitting the button!”

✴️        

Wildland (Kød & blod = Flesh and blood), an uncomfortable and claustrophobic Danish gangster thriller about a 17 year old girl who moves in with the criminal family of Sidse Babett Knudsen, her estranged aunt. 6+/10

“For some people, things go wrong before they even begin”

✴️     

Jim Jarmusch‘s Broken Flowers, a touching road film with Bill Murray, as an old ‘Don Juan’ who receive a pink, unsigned letter from an old lover, letting him know that he has a 20 year old son he never knew about.

Loveliest film of the week.

✴️       

The 2 films directed by Tom Ford:

✳️✳️✳️ A single Man, a sad and lonely gay professor, closeted in 1962 Los Angeles, is preparing to kill himself with a gun, after his boyfriend / love of his life had died in a car accident. Mute and haunting aesthetics in the fashion designer’s debut film, based on a Christopher Isherwood novel.

The ‘Stormy Weather’ dance scene between Charley and George. 8/10

✳️✳️✳️ Nocturnal Animals: Amy Adams is an unhappy owner of a fancy art gallery who receives a disturbing book manuscript written by her ex-husband, which symbolizes their relationship 20 years prior. Rarefied visuals and distinctive style.

Starts with an astonishing scene of obese old ladies dancing naked at Amy’s gala event. Michael Shannon rules as a dying Texas detective! 6+/10.

✴️        

Jean Vigo’s 1933 classic Zero for Conduct was so blatantly anarchistic, it was immediately banned in France until after WW2. In silent film style, it tells about a group of mischievous kids who rebel against the authorities of their old-fashioned boarding school. Part-inspiration for Truffaut's 400 Blows.

✴️      

Anatomy of a murder, Otto Preminger’s 1960 courtroom drama, with opening credits by Saul Bass. Crisp black & white cinematography, and with rape victim Lee Remick playing it as an outgoing loose girl of ambiguous morals, a modern floozy. 7/10.

✴️                

Blush, a wondrous, spectacularly-animated, wordless short by Joe Mateo. What starts as a riff on ‘The Little Prince’, ends up like the opening montage from ‘Up’. The obvious realization that this is a personal metaphor makes the story even deeper.

I watched it twice back to back. 10/10

✴️       

If You're Not in the Obit, Eat Breakfast - 95 year old Carl Reiner asks a bunch of charming nonagenarian friends how they manage to live so well for so long. Their answers may (not) shock you...

Spry Dick Van Dyke (92) and half-his-age wife end the film with a lovely rendition of “Young at heart”

✴️            

Hi-school-level adaptation of Thomas Piketty's book Capital in the 21st Century. A breezy discussion of how slave economy and colonialist military repression 300 years ago turn into extreme capitalism of inequality & tax-avoidance today. America is now similar economically to what England was in the early 1800s. A tiny percentage of society controls almost all its wealth. (Full text of the book here).

✴️            

Ride the eagle, a flat new indie about a guy whose estranged hippy mother leaves him her cabin at the lake when she dies, but only if he complete a certain list of tasks. Could be so much better, but the actor playing the guy was just so terrible. Unlike JK Simmons who had a small role. Best detail, when he discovers that all the cabinets in the house are full with pot.

✴️       

Old, my first, (and possibly last), M. Night Shyamalan. The seductive premise of a secluded beach at a fancy tropical resort that ages everybody who comes there, turns into an unconvincing Twilight Zone bore.

...”(Gurgling sounds)”...

✴️      

First watch: I never saw (any) Planet of the apes before, and in spite of my misgivings, gave it a go. 100% anthropomorphic, it couldn’t visualize a universe different from the American mindset of that period. Preachy and very Rod Sterling-like. "It's a madhouse in here”. Pass!

✴️         

The latest Veritasium YouTube video about bowling current technology. Always interesting.

- - - - -

Throw-back to the art project:

Planet of the Apes Adora. 

- - - - -

(My complete movie list is here)

[engekihaikyuu]

Hyper Projection Engeki Haikyuu – The Battle of the Trash Heap

What’s In Tokyo Interview Translation  With Daigo Kotarou, Akana Ryuunosuke, Nagata Takato, and Kondou Shouri

=====

To begin, I’d like to ask you about your impressions of one another during your first meeting. Daigo: When was our first meeting? Takato: It was when we went to visit rehearsals for “Fly High” in 2019. But all we did then were casual greetings, so our first proper chance to talk was during an interview after that.

=====

Full interview and more photos under the Read More! Please do not repost my translations

=====

Daigo: That’s right! During that interview, Takato-kun treated me like an equal even though I’m younger, and so my first impression was, “What a nice person.” For Shouri-kun, I thought, “He's like a very mischievous older brother.”

Akana: They didn’t just come to visit rehearsals, they came to see our tour too. I remember thinking how much the both of them must love Engeki Haikyuu, and I felt how precious it was to them, so I was really happy. Now that rehearsals have started for this, I feel like we’ve become able to talk about all sorts of things, but Takato-kun feels especially like a rival. He’ll give me a lot of suggestions like, “Wouldn’t it be better for Kageyama to move like this?” “If you move like this, I feel like it would better show the relationship between you two.” Shouri-kun... gives off a vibe of, “Follow me!” so he’s this senpai overflowing with chivalry.   Shouri: Eh?! I don’t really think of myself that way though. (laughs) Daigo: No, Shouri-kun is... chivalrous... or manly! (laughs) Akana: For sure. He’s the sort of person that lifts everyone’s morale just by being there.  

And by contrast, Nagata-san, Kondou-san, what were your impressions of these two? Takato: To be frank, at the very very beginning, there was a part of me that couldn’t honestly accept them. Or I didn’t want to. We spent so much time with the first cast, and I felt like it was such a different Engeki Haikyuu... (bitter smile) Now I don’t feel that way at all, and when I looked into Kota’s (Daigo Kotarou) eyes at rehearsals while he was performing, I felt that he was the real deal. And from that moment on, I just lost my entire complex about the current Karasuno cast. Honestly, I had goosebumps in that moment!   Shouri: Hm? Exactly how much did you get goosebumps? All the way down to your butt? (laughs)   Takato: Why do you always say things like that?! (laughs) Everyone: (laughs)

(laughs) And Kondou-san? Shouri: They’re really straightforward people. Before rehearsals, it felt like they were just expecting us with this attitude of, “What you got, Nekoma?! We’re the main characters here!”   Daigo: You probably thought we were a bunch of really cheeky kids. (laughs) Shouri: They were all so upfront, that we somehow felt like we were let-downs. They said to us, smiling, “Let’s all do our best as a company!” The Karasuno cast before us now are all a noisy bunch, but they’ve come together as one cohesive Karasuno for this, and I feel like they’ve really come into their own.  

It’s been about a year since Nekoma’s last appearance in Engeki Haikyuu. Shouri: It’s already been a year and a half since “The Tokyo Battle!” It almost feels like it was just the other day.   Takato: Whenever Shouri has time, he watches the “Tokyo Battle” DVD and cries. Isn't it crazy that he cries for a show that he appears in? (laughs) Shouri: Even when I read the script for this play, it felt like it was playing in front of me and I cried.  

What does it feel like to have the full force of Nekoma back together again at rehearsals?   Shouri: It’s so heartening! We have a comeback for Nakamura Tarou, who plays Inuoka Sou, and we have our new Haiba Lev, played by Tahori Leo, so in the world of people who are 11.5 heads* tall, we’ve got the most stylish newbies. (laughs) And we finally have our high respected Coach Nekomata Yasufumi played by Ohtaka Hiroo-san, so Nekoma’s gotten even stronger and I’m really excited.   Takato: It’s the best! I’m so happy that we get to make a production together with these incredible, irreplaceable people that I’m sure I can somehow overcome our daily muscle pain and soreness.  

*T/N: An average person is 7.5 heads tall proportionally; Shouri is probably making a Captain Tsubasa reference, who was drawn proportionally 11 heads tall and became a meme.

In a previous interview, you had said that the Engeki Haikyuu muscle pain means that things have really kicked off.   Takato: I had muscle pain immediately after we started rehearsals this time. At this point, it’s just my age. (wry smile) Shouri: But I think the level of intensity has gone up since we first started back in 2016 with “Karasuno Revival.” It’s absolutely more difficult than those rehearsals, I think. I mean, these two young ‘uns are probably just fine though.   Daigo: No no, we feel it too. That’s why after rehearsals, I’m always doing a lot of aftercare.  

What’s the atmosphere like at rehearsals when it’s that difficult? Daigo: Well this is our third production now for Karasuno, so we prep our physiques to endure these rehearsals, and then we proceed pretty smoothly. Because if you slack off even just a little bit, accidents happen, so we’re always talking about how to brace and focus so that nobody gets hurt. It’s a great atmosphere and always such a lively place.   Akana: When I look at the Nekoma cast, I feel such a sense of unity from them, even when we’re not acting. It makes me wonder if Karasuno’s doing enough, so I want to follow their example.   Takato: For example, how? Akana: Like how organized you are, like this person teaches everyone the dance, that person does the count, how some people just naturally pull others along. When you think, “Well let’s talk about this all together” regarding the play, you gather together so quickly... there’s just a lot that I’ve learned watching your team dynamic. We’re pretty settled as a team too, but it sort of feels more planned. When I look at everyone Nekoma, it feels like every person is more balanced and could be the center of the team. I wonder if that’s just a difference in experience.   Daigo: I thought the same thing. That’s why I was thinking that we have to talk things out with everyone on Karasuno all together at least once. From now on we’re going to brush up on that and keep improving!  

This year, due to the novel coronavirus pandemic, the Strongest Challengers tour was unfortunately cut short after 4 performances. Following that, how did you feel, and how did you spend your day-to-day? Daigo: Of course I was sad that we had to cut off the tour and not perform all that we had scheduled, but nothing is for certain, and it wasn’t just us. Around the world, everyone was having a difficult time, and there was also just a sense of, well this just can't be helped. During lockdown, I did have some anxiety as to whether or not I’d ever be able to work for the rest of my life, but I was so encouraged by the support of all these people who love theater. And now thanks to everyone on the staff who clean and disinfect our rehearsals everyday, and thanks to all the people who continue to support us, we can make a new production and go to rehearsals again, so right now I just feel nothing but gratitude.

Akana: We had to cancel all of our live events for VOYZ BOY, the group I’m in, and I was really depressed and anxious about not doing anything, so I started cooking everyday and streamed that.  

You streamed on Instagram, “Akana Cooks.”   Akana: Oh did you watch? Thank you. I get depressed when I don’t get to do anything, so I did a lot of cooking and training at home. Since I wasn’t going out in public, at one point I looked in the mirror and I was shocked because I was starting to look so uncool. So everyday I wanted to at least be able to look in the mirror and say I looked good.   Shouri: Wait, you think about how cool you are while looking in the mirror?! That’s incredible. (laughs) Everyone: (laughs) Daigo: But you did that and took the initiative to start streaming, and you stayed active, and that’s the important thing.  

And if the fans are able to see your face, they also feel relieved knowing that you’re doing okay. Akana: I was aware of that, so I was updating my social media everyday.   Takato: I was also thinking that I might get fat if I wasn’t going out, so I was trying to be careful about my meals, but I kept eating things that basically had no calories and then I just got skinnier and skinnier instead. (wry smile) But recently I’ve gotten my body weight back to where it was.  

Did you watch a lot of movies or dramas while spending time at home? Takato: Everyday I was watching about 3-4 things. That’s about all I did that was fun. I was also able to think about a lot of things, and thought it would be good if I could take the knowledge I accumulated in that time and put it to use the next time I was able to work.  

Kondou-san, did you spend the time doing anything new? Shouri: Mmm......... Daigo & Akana: I’m expecting him to say something really funny. (laughs) Shouri: What was I doing... I was eating. Takato: What kind of answer is that?! (laughs)

Kondou-san, you were also doing insta-lives, weren’t you? Shouri: Oh yeah. I tried a “I’m going to make Tiramisu!” video and failed really hard... Everyone: (explosive laughter)

The fan comments were pretty lively for that one. (laughs) The merengue wasn’t foaming at all, but you kept trying to force other ingredients in, so there was a flood of comments screaming, “NOT YET!” (laughs) Shouri: About an hour before that stream, I’d managed to make a really yummy cheesecake, so I thought I’d challenge myself. I was thinking, “I have a good sense for this, maybe I can be a pâtissier,” but then that one was just a complete loss. But for a moment I had thought, “Maybe I’ll become a YouTuber.” (laughs) Takato: Ahahha! Why do you immediately jump to that?! (laughs) Shouri: Well I don’t have any specialties to bring to this work like singing or dancing. So I sort of thought I needed to develop a new skill and I thought about it a lot... I wanted to learn something new, so I was even thinking about starting ballpoint pen calligraphy.   Takato: Hm? Does that have anything to do with work? Shouri: Well, once I realized it wouldn’t, I just watched an old drama and cried by myself.   Everyone: (explosive laughter)

Well we’re all worked up now, but we’ve reached the end of our time, so lastly if you could all give a message to highlight this play. Takato: I’m confident that we’re going to make this the most fun play out of all ten in the Engeki Haikyuu series, so please come to see us!   Shouri: There are going to be a lot of scenes that are going to make fans of the manga go, “Ah, it’s that scene!” It’s going to be something that longtime fans of Engeki Haikyuu will really enjoy. But even for people who will be seeing Engeki Haikyuu for the first time, as a stand-alone production, they’ll be able to enjoy themselves plenty. For me right now, “The Tokyo Battle” production is the one that’s etched into my mind as the best, but we’re going to go beyond that and make it so that we’ll wrap up our final show feeling like “The Battle of the Trash Heap” is the absolute best. We’re going to tackle this with everything we’ve got, so please look forward to it.  

And then once the “Battle of the Trash Heap” DVD is out, you’ll watch it and cry. (laughs) Takato: I mean in the scene where he’s crying, he’s the only one crying, isn’t it a bit creepy? Shouri: No no! I’m not just crying because I see myself crying on-screen, it’s because I start remembering my emotions from that time and then I start crying! Daigo: I sort of understand that feeling. Shouri: In “The Tokyo Battle,” it was a scene where I said that I definitely wouldn’t cry, but then I saw Noah (who played Lev) get teary-eyed, and then I started crying. I was really planning on pushing through it, but then I saw the DVD and I was really crying a lot, so I’m super embarrassed. (laughs) Takato: Because everyone calls that scene the “Shouri cries scene.” Because Shouri’s tears just wash everything away. (laughs)   Everyone: (laughs)

And moving on, Akana-san, if you would. Akana: The Battle of the Trash Heap is the most popular match of the series, so we’re all worked up more than usual. We definitely want to make something that surpasses everyone’s expectations, so please look forward to it. It’s precisely because we’re so frustrated that the previous tour, “The Strongest Challengers” ended after 4 performances that we’re going to make sure this production makes it safely to the last show. Everyone in the company is going to do our best to that end!  

And lastly, Daigo-san, if you would.   Daigo: First I would say that a highlight of this play is going to be its freshness. We can’t let down our guard in the current situation, but it’s because we had this time where we couldn’t perform that everyone on the cast is so grateful that we’re able to return to rehearsals and face opening night. We’re approaching this play sincerely and with renewed spirit, and I can just feel it in my skin. Everyone has been waiting to be able to just simply enjoy working on a play, so I think it’s going to be an exciting production with a lot of emotions mixed in. I’m personally very excited. Please look forward to it and come to see us at the theater!  

=====

You can read the original Japanese interview here: (x)

Please do not repost my translations!  This includes screenshots of bits and pieces taken out of context, especially if they don’t link back to this full post. If you appreciate the work I do for this blog and want to support my translation efforts please consider donating a ko-fi! (x)

[duhragonball]

Disinterpretation

I finally finished the Sarah Z video about “pro vs. anti”.   It’s pretty long, and I ended up watching it in chunks over several days, but I think it’s worth watching, especially if you’re sort of partially connected to online fandom, but not enough to be aware of all the lingo. 

As I expected, the whole thing was vague and confusing because the people involved in the conflict made it vague and confusing.   In theory, the full terms would be “pro-shipping” and “anti-shipping”, but it seems like it’s more about particular kinds of ships that could be considered controversial.  But that’s a slippery slope, and apparently the whole conflict mutated into both sides deciding that every hypothetical relationship between fictional characters is either equally valid or equally dangerous.  

Long story short, it’s just purity culture, which was what everyone on Tumblr was calling it around 2012.  But now, if you’re a sane person who genuinely asks: “Who gives a fuck about Voltron?”, these people will jump your ass and accuse you of being on the side of their enemies.  “Children have died over the importance of Lotor/Hagger!   Your callous indifference proves that you yourself must have murdered children!” 

I think what Sarah Z really hit upon in this video was that media consumption has become so ingrained in our culture that people feel like it has to go hand-in-hand with our morality.   That is, it’s not enough for me to watch Star Trek, I have to justify Star Trek as evidence that I’m a good person.  Maybe this is where the expression “guilty pleasure” comes from.   Conversely, it’s not enough for me to not watch Dr. Who, I have to somehow convince everyone that Dr. Who was invented by the devil.

I’m pretty sure the Reylo ship has a lot to do with this, since it’s kind of understood to be a dark, problematic concept, and fans either embrace its flaws or recoil in horror because of them.   Star Wars itself is a dumb story about space wizards, so people try to give the debate more weight by linking it to freedom of self expression and/or enabling real world harm.   Suddenly it’s not enough to just think two actors would look cute making out instead of fighting.   Now it’s this battlefield for the soul of civilization or something.

I grew up in the 80′s, when “concerned parents” and grifters would accuse the Smurfs and metal bands of promoting satanism and witchcraft.   I used to hear stories of teens going out into the woods in the middle of the night to do occult stuff, and all I could ever think about was: “Why would anyone bother wandering out in the woods in the middle of the night?”  Which is why “concerned parents” turned their attention to things that were closer to home, like Saturday morning cartoons.   It had nothing to do with the content; it was just about finding a safe, accessible target for their hysteria.   Some people want to go on a crusade without leaving the house, so they pick a fight with Papa Smurf instead of confronting the real evils in the world.  Even as a kid, I knew this was a con, because I’d watched the show for myself and knew it was too saccharine to be threat to anyone.

The pro/anti folks have tried to disguise this with a lot of terminology.   I wondered why they seemed to reluctant to use the full terms “pro-shipper” and “anti-shipper”, and it’s probably a couple of things.   First, the word “shipper” is basically an admission that this is pointless bullshit that doesn’t matter, and they’d like to avoid that connotation.   Second, they seem to have decided that this goes beyond shipping itself, into practically anything else they want it to involve.  It’s all part of the con, which is to make you believe that it’s “us vs. them”, and you can be part of “us” by curating specific attitudes about Steven Universe.

Seriously, “about Steven Universe” is such an incredible punchline.  You can make anything funnier by adding those three words to the end of a sentence.   “Do not interact if you blog about Steven Universe.”   “Hey, what’s up, YouTube, this is SSJ3RyokoLover69, and this is going to be kind of a serious video about Steven Universe.”   “Mrs. Johnson, the results of your biopsy are in, and I have some bad news about Steven Universe.”   It’s a fucking kids show.   “Oh no, all the characters look like the characters in all the other kids shows!”   Yeah, that’s because it’s a kids show.   Marvin looks like Garfield, this isn’t new.

The common denominator here seems to be that both sides try to wrap themselves in the flag of vulnerable groups: impressionable minors, trauma survivors, harassment victims, etc.   The “pros” want to protect those people so that they can feel free to explore weird subject matter on their own terms, and the “antis” want to protect the same people from being exposed to weird subject matter that they might not want to see.   It’s all about establishing a moral high ground.   Back in the day, it was called “sanctimony”. 

But people get roped into this, because at their core, people want approval, and this stupid conflict offers them a sense of community.  As long as you support the cause, whatever it may be, you’ll have this online friend network that appears to support anything you do.   But if you deviate from their norm, you’ll be cast out.    Does this sound familiar?

To use a more familiar example, I still sometimes find people clamoring about Gochi vs. Vegebul.   I’ve never understood this, because both ships were canon, and I never saw much direct evidence of a war between them, but people would still talk about how crazy the Vegebul shippers were, and how crazy the Gochi shippers were, and it was like some huge thing going on just over the hills.   It’s the same idea, since the idea that you could like both or neither never seems to occur to anyone involved.   I never gave a shit, because I used to see the same dumb agendas in the Harry Potter fandom.

Okay, so let me take you back.  It’s 2005 through 2011, and I’m hateblogging all seven Harry Potter novels, because fuck you, that’s why.  The funny thing I encountered was that occasionally fans seemed to want to pretend like my bashing of certain characters was proving them right somehow.    They were like “See?  He hates Ron Weasley too!  That proves that Seamus Finnegan is the coolest guy ever.”   The Slytherin stans would do this all the time, because I would constantly take the piss out of the Gryffindor characters for being self-important dopes.   I think they just liked hearing it from an outside perspective.   But I had to keep reminding them all that I hated all of them.   Every character from Harry Potter sucks ass. Voldemort was my favorite, but only because he was the one guy who wanted to kill all of the others.   But he sucks too because he failed. 

And the shippers were the same way.   I’d say something shitty about Ron, because Ron sucks, and some smartass Joss Whedon fan would be like “Yes!  Boost the signal!  That is why Harry/Hermione is the best ship!”  And I’d be like “No, Harry and Hermione suck at least as bad as Ron does.  They’re all terrible and I hate them.”   I really do think there was some sort of Stockholm Syndrome going on with Harry Potter books, where everyone secretly knows they suck, but the fans sort of latch on to one or two characters and go like “Well, he’s not as shitty as the rest.”   Like finding spaghetti in the trash and picking out the meatball with the least amount of lint on it.   Then you’d go and start a flamewar with some other starving person over whether your meatball is shittier than theirs.  This is what people mean when they say to read another book. 

Anyway, the big thing I picked up from Sarah Z’s video is “disinterpretation”, a term coined by MSNBC columnis Zeeshan Aleem.   The Twitter thread is worth a read, but the short version is that he once remarked that a Julia Louis-Dreyfus routine wasn’t very good, and someone got mad at him for insinuating that women are incapable of being funny.    They just took his dissatisfaction with one performance by one comedian as being a universal condemnation of women comedians in general.  And this sort of thing is all over the internet.   Everyone sees what they want to see and then they take it as permission to overreact.  

I ran into this myself a while back, because someone saw who I interacted with on Twitter and decided that they’re all bad guys and if I have any interaction with them, then that makes me a bad guy too.   At the time I tried to play it cool, but the more I think about it, the more it ticks me off.   And over the course of that conversation, it was said that I don’t talk about myself much, and that’s kind of funny, because all I ever do on social media is write long-ass blog posts like this one.  I don’t expect anyone to memorize them, or even read them all the way through, but when I write all this stuff and someone goes out of their way to say they don’t know anything about me, the message is that they just didn’t pay attention to what I was saying, and they didn’t bother to try.

So I’m a little jaded from that, because I got called out for a bunch of stuff I didn’t even do or say, and apparently that’s just a thing that happens.   People will reject you for completely arbitrary reasons, not because of anything you actually said or did, and you’re left thinking you made some terrible mistake.   Except, no, I’ve seen it happen to other people, people a lore more conscientious than I am, and if they can’t satisfy the bullshit purity standards, then I never stood a chance.   If the game is rigged so I can’t win, then I’m not going to play.  

And it’s that same condition that probably draws people into these online holy wars, because if you declare yourself for the pro or anti side, at least then you’ll have a posse backing you up.   Only they don’t support you, they support your willingness to support them.    Once your commitment to their agenda wavers, even in the slightest, they will turn against you.   

Sarah Z suggests that both sides of the war drop the pro and anti terms, since they lost all meaning long ago.   But that just invites a new set of useless terms to perpetuate the same cycle.   Her more useful advice is for fandom people to broaden their horizons.   She got a lot of flak for tweeting “Go outside” once, but the ironic thing is that it’s sound advice.   I had lunch with my mom yesterday and it was just nice getting away from things for a while.   People need to do that more often, and unfortunately it feels like it’s harder to do than ever before.

But “go outside” isn’t just a literal thing.   It can mean going beyond your usual haunts, reading the same books, watching the same shows, rehashing the same conversations.   I think the reason this stuff always revolves around “shipping” is because there seems to be this deep-seated compulsion to pair fictional characters off like this, and for a lot of folks it’s the only way they can consume a story, so they do.   And they do it lot, and there’s a lot of them, and they do it the same way every time, and lo and behold the same old conflicts start up.   So maybe “go outside” should mean “go outside of that cycle once in a while.”   Just a thought. 

[sometipsygnostalgic]

When'd you get into Adventure Time the first time, and how'd it happen? Been thinking of giving it a watch (especially after all the good stuff that's been said of Obsidian and, admittedly, all the stuff I've seen you post and reblog), and it got me curious

This is like my favourite story, and it is the only good one I remember from being a teenager (life from back then has been super foggy since I moved out of my mum's but it is all good now):

When I was 15 I made a new friend who wanted to write a comic about Teen Titans with me as the artist, TT being my second-favourite childhood show after DBZ.

I started bingewatching Teen Titans because I now had a computer and was able to do so. I learnt about the voice actors.

Starfire was played by Hynden Walch. I learnt that Hynden's latest role was Princess Bubblegum on Adventure Time. I checked it out on wikipedia. It seemed kind of cartoony for me.

One thing that caught my eye is when the wikipedia page said PB "may have had a past relationship" with Marceline, the vampire girl with the really pretty hair. I was confused by this, and rationalised it to myself as they must have had a history as friends or enemies. It didn't say what kind of relationship and I thought there was no chance of it meaning "romantic".

For the time being, I didn't look into AT further.

A couple months pass. After several months of tension, I get a text while in school telling me that my dad was breaking up with his fiance, and I would need to move back into my mother's place immediately. This was smack bang when I was about to start my GCSE exams - the timing couldn't be worse. My mother's house is a shit hive and I went between having a tiny box room to myself or sharing a messy bedroom with my sister and mother. There were no standards for hygeine and there wasn't a stable supply of food.

I decide to finish my binge watch of Teen Titans. I spend all day doing this every day. I rewatched it once I was done. It was what I did to cope.

At the same time, my Teen Titans comic friend confides in me. She tells me she thinks she might be a lesbian, and she is scared her parents will reject her. I sympathise deeply. At the time, I was waist deep in the closet to the point I couldnt accept certain things about myself either, but having a friend come out to me made me reconsider LGBT matters.

I looked on deviantart and saw some art for "RaeStar". I thought it was wrong to ship them (I shipped RobStar hardcore) but, well, the art was so cute. Their interactions were healthy and sweet. It was nice. This became my low key first gay ship.

Then, I start bingeing RebelTaxi's Teen Titans video reviews.

Once I am dry on Teen Titans content, I see RebelTaxi did a review on Fionna and Cake, and on Ryan North's Issue #2 of the Adventure Time comic.

The first video, Fionna and Cake, was appealing to me. The show had an amazing art style, and a decent sense of humor. I loved that they did something for the fans, making a genderbent fanfic episode based on popular fan characters. It was unprecedented and very post modern.

....But it was the SECOND video that made me take a very sudden interest in the show.

RebelTaxi was referring to a scene with PB and Marcy in the bottom of the Lich's bag. There is a joke where Marcy turns into a tentacle monster. RebelTaxi always makes hentai jokes when tentacle monsters are involved, but he interpreted this scene as referencing the characters' "lesbian undertones".

...Wait, WHAT? Hynden Walch's character and the pretty vampire have Lesbian Undertones?!?! Haven't I heard this somewhere before?!?!

A quick google search of "Adventure Time Lesbian Undertones" later, I discover the Mathematical! Controversy - how an episode with some incredible songwriting seemed to imply they had been girlfriends in the past who have residual feelings for each other. A podcast had been made by the producers fangirling about this possibility, but it was taken down, and the director fired. Nobody had outright said the subtext was not there, but they said they didn't want the podcast to sound like word of god. There had been a lot of upset in the gay community over this. Oh, by the way, there's a gay community of cartoon fans who really ship PB/Marcy.

With a combination of everything, from how my friend had just come out to me and was struggling with homophobia, to how I was a Hynden Walch fan, to how the show had already impressed me with what little I'd seen, I became IMMEDIATELY invested in finding out as much as possible about these potential LGBT characters and their relationship.

So I checked out a ton of Adventure Time videos on youtube. I checked the vids that had Marceline's backstory in, vids with funny moments from PB and all the other characters, I checked Deviantart for fanart where I made my first engagements with the fandom's gay community, I checked the Wiki talk pages to get ALL of the discourse. It changed who I was basically overnight.

I decided Adventure Time was a fun show with clever writing, and absolutely worth my attention. During the break for exams, I binge watched it all day, and then I would cram for my GCSEs between midnight and 3am on the day of the exam. I was addicted!

When I caught up, Goliad aired. This was the first ep to come out with me being in the fandom.

At the time, even though Hynden had drawn me to the show, Marceline was the character I was most invested in. She had the amazing backstory and music and character design. PB was fun, but there was relatively nothing to her character.

Oh boy, that ALL CHANGED with Goliad! People were intensely debating what the episode was saying about her. Is she a good person, a bad person? Why was she so troubled in the episode's opening, and why was Goliad corrupted?

Discourse only escalated with Princess Cookie. The top post on the wikia was "Is Princess Bubblegum evil?"

Thinking about her character was so interesting for me. These two episodes made me realise PB was a character with her own internal battles, who was struggling with the responsibility to do what was right for her people vs what is the Right Thing, with her own psychological wellbeing caught in the middle. My interpretation of Goliad was that PB was a naturally neutral person who had decided to be good, whereas Goliad had been corrupted by Jake's anger, and this contrasted with Finn who was a pure good person. The Princess Cookie episode reinforced my ideas, because she was doing something that was neither objectively good or bad but was a result of her own morality, and it went against Jake's morality. The idea of the "good guys" having such different values was so engaging, and they managed to come around at the end, with baby-snaps being submitted to rehabilitation.

Princess Cookie was also the first episode where PB was shown to be an adult while a currently adult character was a child. Either candy people age quickly, or - more likely - Pb is keeping her age a mystery. After thinking about this, I opened up a page on the wiki forums saying "Is Princess Bubblegum Old?"

This is what sealed my position in the fandom. I became a well known regular of the community after that, on Wikia and then Tumblr. It was my first fandom. So many good memories of theories, debates, analysis and fanart, the satisfaction of my theories being confirmed in season 5 onwards.

The most important thing to me, about engaging with the AT community, was how those initial interactions around the LGBT content were the groundwork for me being comfortable coming out of the closet. If it wasn’t for that, if it wasn’t for speaking specifically to Thisfreemind and Illeity about how gay relationships are perfectly fine and healthy for kids to see, and no less clean than straight relationships, I might be a person with far more conservative views today, and I might have fallen out with several of my closeted friends over internalized homophobia.  

I would have also probably failed high school. My grades improved drastically over the next year, because my online community life had made me happier.  It was comfort and stability during a difficult couple of years. 

[actualbird]

nobody asked but here are my personal top five pat gill videos | a 2.1k word long post where i rank and review pat gill’s videos for just way too long.

Right around the tail end of April, 2020, I fell into the rabbit hole of my current obsession; Polygon Dot Com Video Content. As a consequence of this was being introduced to the phenomenon of Pat Gill. A dire consequence of that consequence was me slowly, deeply, irrevocably, finding myself attracted to this marionette of a man. So, I enjoy his content and I think he’s hot and that combined with the fact that some of my friends bully me over that latter fact has inspired me to do this: rank my personal favorite Pat Gill videos in a post that’s entirely too long.

Before I get straight into the rankings, I need to explain my process. 

First, I needed to narrow my scope. Polygon has a lot of videos. Polygon has a lot of videos with Pat Gill in them. If I didn’t narrow my scope, I would either go bonkers yonkers or have a list that would be kilometric in length and thus miss the entire point of ranking altogether. So, for my sanity, I am excluding any videos that are a part of a Polygon video series. This means no Overboard, no Gill and Gilbert, no Video Game Theatre, etc. If I included these, I would cry. I do not want to cry over Polygon Dot Com Video Producer Pat Gill.

Second, I need a criteria. If I just ranked videos with no system, I would find myself endlessly rearranging my list based on whatever thought comes out on top in my mind at the given moment. I am a disorganized person, so I need rules. I have decided that I will rank Pat Gill videos using the EEEH criteria. 

Entertainment. Do I smile, watching the video? Do I chortle? Am I filled with the embarrassing urge to show this video to my sister and derive glee from her laughing at the exact same moment I laughed? Entertainment is key.

Education. Did I come out of this video knowing something I originally did not know? More importantly, was I engaged in the learning process? I come from a family of teachers, so I have high standards when it comes to education. If I am to learn, I must learn well.

Exaltation. This is a bit of an oddball criteria, but it is important to me. The word “exalted” is defined as “elevated in rank, character, or status.” This criteria refers to how good it is at exalting, elevating, pulling me out of a depressive episode. That is to say I’ve been in a depressive episode for the past month and whether or not the video made me stop crying and brush my teeth is essential. Polygon video content has been integral to my serotonin production lately, and thus the video’s ability of acting as an audiovisual antidepressant for me factors into the rankings.

[BONUS POINTS] Hotness. How Hot Is Pat Gill In It? I felt bad, morally, ranking videos based on how good looking I thought Pat Gill was in it---because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and all that, and people don’t exist to be beautiful, they just are, and I agree---so I’m relegating this criteria as a bonus point. Standard is 0, because he’s always hot in my mind, but he gets plus points if he is exemplary in the hotness department.

The maximum score for each of these criteria is 5 points, making the perfect score a 15, but because of the bonus points, a 20 is, hypothetically, possible. 

With that out of the way, let me dive right into it. 

5. The fastest interview ever with Ben Schwartz from Sonic the Hedgehog

Entertainment: 5 Education: 2 Exaltation: 2 Hotness: +2 Total Score: 11

Pat Gill is a good interviewer, he’s engaging and fun and keeps the interview interesting, but this interview is particularly special because it seems that, and let me quote Youtube user AudreyN who left a comment on this video stating “ben schwartz consumed all seven chaos emeralds prior to this interview.” Pat Gill and Ben Schwartz’s dynamic is amazing, and by “dynamic” I do mean “Ben Schwartz absolutely just fucking dunking on Pat Gill for 14 entire minutes.” and it is glorious.

For Entertainment this scores a solid 5. Quite honestly the funniest interview I’ve ever watched in my entire life. Just the sheer beauty in the exchange [Pat] “You would use Sonic’s power to gaslight me?” [Ben] “Just you.” In terms of Education, I guess I did learn a bunch of things about the Sonic movie that I didn’t know before, but the avenue by which it was portrayed in was not exactly the most engaging, more like I was absorbing it via watching two experts discuss on a webinar. I would have given just 1 point to Education but I made it 2 because of the wonderful knowledge that Pat Gill can draw a pretty good Sonic in a few seconds. When it comes to Exaltation, I must admit that while this video got quite a few laughs out of me, it didn’t make me want to get out of bed and take a shower. 

BONUS: Pat is +2 hot in it. His short hair makes him look very handsome. He’s a spiffy boy, in this video. Very, very good.  

4. Pat Will Not Tweet at Nintendo This Week Because He is Resting at Home — PLEASE RETWEET, Episode 12 

Entertainment: 5 Education: 0 Exaltation: 5 Hotness: +1 Total Score: 11

I know I’m breaking a rule I set for myself a few paragraphs earlier by including an episode of Please Retweet, which counts as a video series, but this is my post and I can do whatever I want. More importantly, this video is so fucking funny to me, it feels like it would be a crime not to put it in this list. 

Solid 5 out of 5 for entertainment. Pat Gill, alone in his apartment, drinking six cans of what I think is beer silently while the intro music plays. That scene in itself should win an Oscar. Sadly, a solid 0 for Education, because I learn nothing in this video except for the fact that Pat Gill is the type of person to put out a coaster and then just completely not use it. I quantify things as educational if I can maybe answer a trivia question with them, and unfortunately, this fact does not pass that test. In terms of Exaltation, seeing Pat Gill lie down on the floor next to his cat made me get out of bed to do the same with my dog, and with myself thusly out of my bed cocoon of sadness, I was able to actually complete tasks on the day I watched this video. Perfect 5.

BONUS: Pat is +1 hot in this because there’s something very beautiful about him being a little bit miserable. However, I do miss his beard when I watch this video. It is one of my favorite things about him, and it is not present here.

3. Pat and Simone Play Human: Fall Flat

Entertainment: 5 Education: 1 Exaltation: 5 Hotness: 0 Total Score: 11

I very much enjoy Polygon’s gameplay streams. I often play them in the background while I’m doing other stuff like doodling or origami, but this stream is special. It is special because of the moment at 24:00 when Pat Gill, in game, swings a stereo into a glass window, shattering it, while saying, “Actually, y’know what? Let’s talk about trauma.” and then proceeds to tell a horrible and embarrassing story from his childhood where he had to do a rap about Ancient Egypt. 

5 points for Entertainment. This is partly because of Pat’s tragic childhood story about the Egypt Rap (and, segue just to point out 33:22 the incredible moment where you can hear Pat’s feral panic when Simone finds the lyrics to the Egypt Rap) but also because Pat and Simone just talking to each other is so deeply entertaining to me in a very comfy way. I’m starved for human interaction, in this quarantime, okay. Let me enjoy listening to other people have conversations while playing video games. Education scores a 1 because, again, nothing in this video will let me answer a trivia question, however it does get 1 point and not a 0 because the Egypt Rap’s lyrics are in the comments and I did end up learning stuff about Ancient Egypt that I didn’t know. A perfect 5 for Exaltation because this video showed me that talking about trauma can actually be cathartic, given that you’re trashing a video game living room at the same time, and I think that message of not bottling up your experiences really helped me, in these trying times.

BONUS: Pat Gill is not visible for the entirety of this episode, so he scores the standard 0. I’m sure he was hot. We just couldn’t see him.  

2. Why Bloodborne and Muppets are the same thing

Entertainment: 4 Education: 4 Exaltation: 3 Hotness: +2 Total Score: 12

Ah yes, one of Pat’s “x is y because of z” videos. He’s made a number of these and they’re all very good but this one is my favorite among them and earns a spot on this list because 1) I think puppets are cool and 2) I fucking love monsters. 

This video scores a 4 on Entertainment, just shy of perfect, because as funny as it is, it also gives me the vibe like I am being lectured by a professor who’s just a little bit off the shits. And we all know that lectures are supposed to be taken seriously. Which brings us to Education, which also scores a 4. I learned a lot in this video! Watching Pat Gill explain to me that children’s puppets and these horrifying viddy game monsters use the same character principles in different ways is not only very educational but is also explained in a streamline and easy to understand manner that I WISH some of the shitty professors at my old university could emulate. As for Exaltation, while this video did give me enough energy to have a meal, I did eventually end up back in bed for the night at 8pm crying myself to sleep, thinking “I’m like the slime scholar. Used to be a scholar. Now they’re slime.” 

BONUS: Pat Gill is +2 hot here. He’s rockin that basic ass monochromatic aesthetic and I love his look dearly. 

1. Preparing for Big Boy Season in Red Dead Redemption 2 

Entertainment: 5 Education: 3 Exaltation: 5 Hotness: +3 Total Score: 16

Here we are. My favorite non video series Pat Gill video. The video where Pat Gill tries to make Red Dead Redemption 2 protagonist, Arthur Morgan, large. 

Perfect fucking 5 for Entertainment, which I’m sure many may find odd. Afterall, this video is told in a serious investigative tone reminiscent of Vox’s videos on current issues. But that’s the glory of it. The complete and utter ‘playing it straight and serious’ for a ridiculous issue in a video game. It is high tier comedy in a subtle, understated way that sings to my comedy loving heart in a melody so lovely, so wonderful, that it urged me to give this video 5 points for Entertainment. It scores 3 on Education, because I have never played Red Dead Redemption 2, nor will I ever, but now I know things about it. The information was also relayed to me in a very interesting style, via something like a crime procedural, and thus it was engaging for me to absorb all this new knowledge. Exaltation scores a perfect 5 because of this video’s beautiful end about existential smallness. No joke, but hearing Pat Gill say “Our bigness isn’t measured in pounds, but in the impact we have on the people with whom we shared the world.” deadass made me want to talk to my friends again after conversationally isolating myself for 3 days. Preparing for Big Boy Season has a special place in my heart. And there it will stay.

BONUS: Pat Gill is not visible for most of the video but he does appear for like 15 seconds in the middle of it, and guess what. He’s hot. +3 hotness. Good beardage, good hair, all in all, good Pat Gill. 

So there you have it. My five favorite Pat Gill videos. If you read this whole thing, holy shit. You’re welcome, I guess.

[tumblingxelian]

Hbomberguy & RWBY

So I am loathed to bring this up again and likely won't bother after this point, but today Hbomberguy releases the first 20 minutes of his video on RWBY to his Patrons of which I was apart.

I left a review of t that did get a touch caustic, but no more than his own review I feel, which can be read in the spoilers below. I feel this is morally OK as I am spoilering it and am not actually sharing any of the content just my in the moment reaction, so if interested here you go, unedited:

Suffice to say not impressed.

To be honest not exactly loving it even at the intro, I’ll give it a watch out of obligation but I found it condescending and disrespectful just to the fans alone along with the writers. (Seriously dude, acting like you aren’t trying to make us feel bad for liking the show while talking as though we don’t think critically about it and only hang around out of desperate hope sounds more like an insult or projection.

Like you frame it as though I need someone to come in and go “Think critically about this piece of media” when I do that constantly, I have written literal essay, critical think pieces and spent hours on end debating its good and negative qualities.

What’s more the point you keep coming back to is “What it could have been” which so far seems more like code for “What I wanted it to be” rather than an indictment on quality. Also if you have to draw lines to alert someone to an animation error in a minor scene, my goodness, I can’t imagine how much you must hate literally any show produced in the 80s for their animation.

Also taking inspiration from a fight scene or weapon design doesn’t translate to actually trying to borrow a shows themes or story elements but you frame it like it is, am I just misunderstanding your intent here? Cos if not then that argument hurts my brain and not in an educational way.

This is in the first three minutes.

Oh also RWBY has abridged series and reacts, so maybe its cos you are trying to upload something longer than entire volumes and so the Youtube gods assume you’re basically placing up whole episodes.

Yeah I knew about the later seasons, they’re fun, seem to tell pretty intriguing and complicated stories while still being funny. I don’t keep a close eye on it as I used too but that’s more reflective of my changing priorities than a lack of interest. Also kinda irked at how irrelevant this is and seemingly designed to go “Sellouts!” it is without any kind of argument behind it beyond vague speculation about them.

… OK but you cheer on Monty Oum referencing the Matrix but chastise RWBY for doing the same, what? So what you know about RVB season, what was that 10? But not 17? The whole RVB digressions sounds more and more like a gag now :/ & you just acknowledged RT has skills despite dismissing the writers with silence earlier.

On the drop off, oh my gosh this whole thing just reeks of intentional mis-representation. Lookie, if I go back to the first episode of most popular series, its gonna have more views than anything else, because that is the one that people watch to decide whether they want to keep watching. If you were only lured in by the action which it seems you like many others were and had no interest in a story (There were literally comments that read “No fights this episode, skip it”) Then yeah the audience will drop off. The intro having more views is about as informative as saying “People saw the advertisement” but ignoring whether or not they bought the product, goodness, you didn’t even use the likes ration >:[

Jeff William’s music is great, though I think the question of best is down to personal opinion. I loathe to bring up Monty Oum in a debate but suffice to say he had an opinion on people who gave his just starting out friends shit for their voice acting and it wasn’t a charitable one.

Honestly given how you seemed meh on even the White Trailer and even more bored by the Black Trailer it really kinda gives the impression you just got an endorphin rush from Red and clung to it after that even though that specific thing is what you liked. Also I have no idea how one can have a go at the camera work on the Black Trailer. Also its a ribbon holding Blake’s weapons together, not a string, not sure if this was a joke but its not exactly confidence boosting to see this level of not understanding what you are watching or relying on gags like “Anime run” as a shorthand fro criticism.

Oh my gosh I was actually hopeful for a moment when you noted Adam was an obvious villain and then you go and ruin it. Tell me, why exactly would people cease being people just because there’s monsters around? We see clearly civilization is thriving and functional so naturally you’re gonna get evil shit heads. What’s more, blowing up civilians s kind of a thing military’s or certain brands of extremists do, though its obvious he wasn’t meant to be doing that given he hid the details of the mission from Blake & we later find out he was meant to rob the train not blow it up.

Oh hey, good catch there on Blake being upset by the civilian killing, gee, its almost like she’s a victim of child grooming, gaslighting and abuse. Along with the fact Adam worked to obscure and excuse his worst traits from her until he felt he had her under his thumb and was then proven wrong. Are you just complaining because the entire story wasn’t told in a singular trailer? We literally know who Blake was based on, she is the beauty and the beast, often switching that role with Yang and with the beast aspect rooted in people’s perception of Faunus.

The club manager is also a gangster and info broker and given Yang never behaves like this again, the theme outlined at the end of the trailer and literally spelled out, I think it should be painfully obvious she was putting on an act, an act she literally used to lure an enemy into a trap yet you frame this as… What? I am legit confused at this point. The goons are an axe gang reference. Photoshop filter?

Oooh I was right, you are just annoyed you preconceptions about the characters didn’t bear out, like a lot of people who assumed the girl grinning and chuckling in the red trailer would be a broody angst machine.

Your conclusion really fails to line up with your summary of the trailers. In your opinion, the fact its still going 7 seasons in says otherwise.

[switchblademouse]

All you could do was laugh.

What other response could you have after seeing death run rampant through your world? The old lady buried one morning when the sun felt harsh and new, then her tiny grandchild ready to be buried soon before the sun set heavy and ripe that very same day. Watching as the people took over the streets howling right in the open, drowning out everything else in their grief. Then watching as those same people burnt down the walls of all the lives around them, smashed the whole world to rubble under the stampede of thousands of charging feet, when all that unanswered grief of theirs turned into righteous rage.

What more was there to do than sit back and laugh at them?

I had warned them. As had many others before me, and after me. We were silenced, all of us. Told we were being too negative for their comfort. Told we shouldn't tell them of the open dangers they faced, unless we gave them the choice to run from such uncomfortable topics beforehand. We, the ones who could see the dangers, had been screaming our warnings at these people for years. We who had already been dying had been begging this blind public for that justice they loved dearly for so very long now. Our suffering had not mattered to these people who thought of themselves as Good People. Where was all of that elitist high ground they once waved above us beggars? Above those of us who had all been denied the basics of human life; and yet we all ended up watching them crumble at our feet for so much less than we had already survived.

We could do nothing but laugh. Throw our heads back and shake from the gasping breathing that came with the horrid and hysterical laughter of those who had been pushed too far for too long. We the people who have only just realized that the others who put us there always knew that our suffering was the worst possible thing anyone could live through. Those awful Good People had let us all suffer while knowing these things; simply because they couldn't care less to act on helping others if they couldn't get something for themselves out of it. Why did such people still dare call themselves "good" to our faces?

We laugh as they fall at our feet, suffering too, in all the ways they looked away from dismissively when that suffering was in our lives once.

We laugh as they bleed out in front of us, blood pooling in a dark river that twists with whirpools of tears, and the many empty, begging promises of desperate human beings trying to avoid the consequences of their own misdeeds brought to their feet.

We laugh as they call us evil, for those moments are the only truly humorous times we still have in our lives, after all this madness.

Because they don't realize they lost that right to feel morally superior to me so very long ago.

We no longer see a human being in our own reflection these days.

We no longer want to.

For all those humans we have seen walking through our life are not what we wish to ever see ourselves become.

The cruel actions those humans who call themselves good take when they simply feel justified in destroying everything they find distasteful are not those we seek to emulate.

So, we will destroy every last human being, and the destructive despair they drag around them like the chaotic wake behind a great storm.

I am perfectly fine being the grinning villain these days.

For if such beings as humans call me evil, then I must be doing so very well as a person.

Isn't that funny?

Just absolutely hilarious?

I see humans, but no humanity.

All you can do is laugh.

[Just a Random Writer in the Electronic Void. Don't mind me. I just got bored. Sorry about the rough copy /Edit: Went back and edited for spelling and grammar because it bugged me, no longer a rough copy/. Not sorry about the chills. Villains are such an interesting topic. Any of us could be one to somebody else. Enjoy this one, or don't. Not exactly my best work after all. Guess I should just laugh it off, huh?]

+++++

End Copypasta

+++++

This right here is copypasta from my YouTube commentary. The video was a wonderful VillainCore playlist, titled "i see humans but no humanity: a villain playlist", posted by username "cupid". (Quote marks are mine. I sincerely apologize for not linking it here. I like giving credit to the creators, but I have no clue how to link that through my phone app here. Sorry!)

I designed this for the authors notes to be at the end, to increase the impact of the writing. In commentary style story posts, putting the authors note at the top deters people from reading by breaking that story immersion. If you put those authors notes at the end of the comment-story you are writing? You get more readership, because the hook for your story can do it's job properly. That's an important tip I recommend you keep in mind if you post stories in places like commentary or reply sections. Just make sure your hook strikes well!

Anyway? Because this was designed for that hook to hit first? I do apologize for having to drop my copypasta without context. It is what it is.

Before I'm done? I would like to make another more personal apology. Someone accused me of "humble-bragging" after the original note to this. I had no idea what that meant. I looked it up. Honestly? I was appalled that they thought that, and confused. When I brag I'm not subtle about it! I also wasn't sure why they would think anyone would over just what I wrote there. I asked some friends. Turns out? My writing is better than I thought it was. I know I'm good, but I didn't think a quick short story like this, done in an hour could be well written for me. I was corrected on something. My standards for excellence were significantly higher for myself than they were for my readers. So, what I legitimately thought wasn't good enough, everyone else thought was me humble-bragging.

I felt the need to apologize for this. I didn't want to alter my original post, for personal reasons. But I want to apologize now, before anyone says I'm doing that. I wasn't, but I'm still struggling to wrap my head around the fact that I'm not just a good writer. I'm a writer who is apparently, on occasion, so good at what they do that they make people think I must be full of crap if I say I don't believe I did well.

Do you know how hard that is to accept?! I'm freaking out. My image of myself does NOT match with that! Even if I was confident about being a good writer, this is still a shock. I'm working on it. It's just taking me a while.

So, on top of my writing tip today?

Take this to heart.

Just because you think you aren't good enough yet, doesn't mean you aren't great already.

Your lackluster effort, just might be a high quality piece in others eyes.

Look at your stuff through some of your biggest supporters eyes at some point.

It could be the best thing you will ever do for your self-confidence.

I hope you all have a weird and wonderful day from here.

~ Tapestry

[zephyrthejester]

Three Years Blog Anniversary!

Well, would you look at that. In the blink of an eye, an entire year has gone by! It has now been a grand total of three years since I started up this liveblog, and ever since, it's been a whirlwind of an adventure that has introduced me to amazing shows, amazing games, and above all, amazing people! As has become tradition, it's time for us to gather 'round by the fire, bundle up in blankets, sip some hot cocoa, and reminisce about the shenanigans we got up to in the year 2019.

You know the drill! Click "Keep Reading" to see the rest! Let's go!

January kicked off with the closing episodes to Steven Universe's fifth season, and what a finale it was! In true SU nature, it managed to be wholesome, funny, terrifying, and sad all at once! Not to mention the finale episode specifically, which was rife with both fan service and a breath-taking final confrontation. It even prompted me to type up three whole Addendum posts just so I could get all my thoughts out there. Intermingling with these episodes were some rather poignant and touching episodes of RWBY's 6th Volume, which saw some great plot advancements for some of my favorite characters. And of course, there was one liveblog session early on dedicated to Fate/Stay Night, a series I began back in 2018. And that would end up being the last I'd liveblog about it. Following the technical difficulties of the Visual Novel crashing at an important moment, I lost much of my motivation to keep going at it, putting Fate/Stay Night on the bench... For now. But more on Fate/Stay Night later.

Then came February! Where I proceeded to do absolutely nothing at all. For 42 days, I fell into a pretty bad funk that I called depression, at the time. Well! I must be in a better mental space right now, because until it came time to make this post, I forgot all about it! Moving past the shame I felt for wordlessly abandoning my blog and discord community for over a month, come March I pressed right into a brand new liveblog: Kill la Kill! A frenetic, frantic, freaky series that serves as the spiritual sequel to what was, once upon a time, my favorite anime ever: Gurren Lagann. I was immediately charmed by it's absurdist humor and over-the-top everything. However, it wasn't long before I succumbed to my greatest flaw. I'm exceptionally picky about what I liveblog, and sadly, Kill la Kill didn't tick the boxes that needed to be ticked for me to stick with it. I eventually dropped the series after only three episodes.

Needless to say, I was getting desperate to reinvigorate my lost momentum. It was then and there, at the tail end of March, that I introduced the most significant change to my brand ever: Liveblogging itself was being benched in favor of a fanciful second attempt at running my video game focused Youtube Channel! While I would certainly continue to liveblog new episodes of shows I had previously caught up with, my efforts would be redoubled and focused upon something I hoped would shake things up for me. I put in the effort of buying a new, fancy, high-tech microphone, and set about to new projects!

First up was a tense and troublesome self-imposed-challenge: A playthrough of Resident Evil 2 Remake on its hardest difficulty, with the added stipulation that I can never access the item storage box! My knowledge and skills of that game were put to the test as I skirted by the dangerous zombies and mutants while carrying only the bare essentials on my person. That series lasted 7 videos, plus a Highlight Reel, over about a week. My new microphone really brought out my screams of terror. Yes.

Immediately following the conclusion of the REmake 2 challenge run in early April, a new series debuted: A blind let's play of Subnautica! A simply incredible sci-fi survival game set on a planet that's nearly entirely an ocean... But much to my surprise, it was secretly a horror game all along. Spanning 18 episodes + a highlight reel between April 5th and May 23rd, we descended ever deeper into the abyss, deciphered alien riddles, fled from toothy leviathan-class predators, established a lovely home base, and had a great ol' time overall. A truly remarkable game with a surprisingly good story, for its genre, and it left me eagerly looking forward to making a Let's Play of its sequel: Below Zero.

Simultaneously, beginning on April 10th, I embarked upon yet another adventure that was of such a large scope, I made my channel's primary time slot dedicated to it. The Phoenix Wright Trilogy! A collection of the first three Visual Novels in a wonderful, wonderful series about the titular attorney at law. It wasn't long before I fell in love with this series, big time. It had everything! Immensely satisfying mysteries for me to solve, memorable and lovable characters, great pacing, and it knew how to keep things fresh and interesting. Although I started out the Let's Play by saying I wouldn't read everything aloud, that proved to be a lie. As of now, the series is a whopping 78 videos long (I do expect it to reach 100 before all is said and done), and I have given voice to roughly 50 unique characters so far. The series really helped awaken my Let's Play chops by improving my speech, vocal clarity, and focus. Swapping between my first video ever (for Legend of Grimrock II) and the most recent Phoenix Wright video is a real night-and-day difference! Overall, it's very safe to say that the series has stolen my heart. Unmatched hype, dizzying plot twists, and delightful shenanigans burst from the seams, truly. The Let's Play is currently ongoing, though the end is within sight...

As the Let's Plays of Subnautica and Phoenix Wright Trilogy progressed, so too did the production quality of my videos. I got a better grip on editing, improving the design of my video thumbnails and taking more care to edit out needless and dull moments of gameplay. I even introduced a brief and stylish video intro, which was my avatar appearing over a dark background before it faded off into gameplay. That would be the image up above! However, as we move into 2020, I’ve begun to feel that it could do with a slight improvement... Wink wink!

Following the end of Subnautica came a new Let's Play involving yet another sci-fi horror game: Prey! Spanning 25 videos + a highlight reel between June 3rd and November 19th, it immediately gripped me with its stunning attention to detail, marvelously crafted environments, and boundlessly creative gameplay. It was a pleasure to explore the varied regions of the Talos One space station, blasting aliens, uncovering secrets, untangling the connections between the employees there, and making some seriously difficult moral choices. A truly impressive video game that's just begging for a second playthrough on my own time at some point.

July 20th saw the beginning of new activity on my blog. In a spur-of-the-moment decision that I didn't think out too well, I brazenly announced out of nowhere that I would be doing a re-watch of Steven Universe! I proceeded to liveblog the first 11 episodes of Steven Universe over a week, lovingly looking back at the series' origins, calling out moments of foreshadowing, and analyzing everything with the lens of all my knowledge about the show. And then... Nothing! Just as soon as it began, the project was dropped. I had hoped it would rekindle my interest in Liveblogging (outside of new episodes of SU and RWBY), but I had no such luck. You know I'm burnt out when even Steven Universe, my favorite thing ever, can't help...

By September 3rd, the Steven Universe Movie had finally released! Over a hype-as-hell two days, I liveblogged the entire film. It truly was Steven Universe at its absolute best! Touching, sincere, unexpected, and rife with some stellar songs that are STILL stuck in my head. It proved that the Crewniverse hadn't lost its spark since the conclusion of the original series.

November 5th was my 25th birthday! My family celebrated by all going out for an amazing sushi dinner. Good times! Sometimes, it's really hard for me to grasp that I'm actually 25... I'm a kid at heart, really! Or maybe it's that I'm a social recluse who enjoys watching anime a little too much. Regardless, I feel no shame!

November 10th saw the debut of RWBY Volume 7, and so far it has been an exceptionally strong season. I've long maintained the opinion that the show gets better and better every season, and Volume 7 has given me no reason to doubt that. One episode in particular became my second favorite in the series, right behind a certain one from Volume 6! I'm really enjoying how the characters, new and old, are playing off each other this go around, and the fights and art direction have been no slouch either. This season's a looker! I'm really looking forward to seeing how it ends.

Hot on the heels of the ending Let's Play of Prey, I immediately started up a new series on November 20th... Chrono Trigger! A legendary and widely loved JRPG from the SNES era of gaming that I had somehow gone all my life without playing. Better late than never to fix a mistake like that! I eagerly dived in and nearly immediately understood why it's heralded as an all-time great. The series is currently 13 episodes long, and each one is an endless stream of me being hyped and giddy. I’m already excited to record more!

December 8th saw the debut of Steven Universe Future, a very special epilogue series that's sure to tie a nice bow on the franchise as a whole. As of this post, I have liveblogged the first 8 episodes, and it's fair to say that while it's not holding back in giving the audience exactly what it wants, it's also doing something very unexpected and very, very interesting with Steven himself. Only time will tell how it all ends and whether every remaining mystery will be answered, but so far I have been more than satisfied with it.

And that brings us to the present! Wow, it felt like a lot less happened this year than you would think, huh? No, it's been jam packed with new adventures! I think I am very content with how the year has gone, and I hope you are as well. We'll be striding into the year 2020 with more Steven Universe, more RWBY, more Phoenix Wright, and more Chrono Trigger! Plus, it may very well be that we'll see the return of Made in Abyss and Madoka Magica, both of which (I believe) are getting continuation movies in 2020. I may or may not be entirely wrong about this. Forgive me if I am...

In the near future, the Phoenix Wright Trilogy will be followed up by a Let's Play of Fate/Stay Night! Indeed, the canceled Liveblog will be reborn in youtube video form! And following Chrono Trigger, well... It's mostly up in the air, though I do have a few good ideas. In particular, I recently got a Virtual Reality system set up... Wink wink!

So that's really all there is to it! Cheers, lads! Cheers to a good year, and cheers to the next year being even better! To our good health, our unbreakable friendships, and all the stupid bullshit we’ll get into together! 2020 has arrived!

[benevolent-dictator]

Late Night Thoughts on Dan and Phil: Fond Memories and Little More

     Before I get into the meat of this post, I want to include what I believe to be a critical preamble if one is to understand the bulk of this essay (and please understand, I use the term “essay” very loosely here. As you’ll quickly come to realize, it is more a haphazard collection of thoughts strung together in a more of less cohesive format). It’s important I lay out explicitly what this post is as opposed to what it is not: namely, the intent of this post is to act as a sort of analytical essay delineating my thoughts and opinions on the famous Youtubers Dan Howell’s and Amazingphil’s entertainment value rather than the merit of their characters themselves (and how I believe - for me personally - their entertainment value to have stagnated). 

     I feel this important to clarify because typically, when reading online analyses of internet personalities, critiques tend to fall into one of two camps: 1) value judgments placed upon a creator’s work/entertainment, or 2) value judgments placed upon a creator’s moral character. The perfect example of these two camps in action can be found in Lilly Singh and Jake Paul. Regardless of your own personal feelings surrounding the two online creators, I believe it fair to say the vast majority of criticism allotted to them illustrate the two camps rather nicely. For example, a not insignificant amount of people tend to dislike Lilly Singh for her lackluster entertainment value, i.e. the content she uploads to YouTube/broadcasts on her late night show. Although there does exist some backlash towards her standing as a moral actor (or lack thereof), when you enter her name into Youtube’s search feature, six out of the first ten recommended videos are all criticisms directed at how “unfunny” she is. Jake Paul, on the other hand, demonstrates the other school of thought: criticizing moral standing over entertainment value. Again, regardless of your personal views on Jake Paul’s character, it is undeniable that the vast majority of the backlash he receives centers around the immorality of his actions rather than how, “mundane” or “lackluster” his content. Therefore, I want to clarify that I am in no way attempting to use this post to discredit either Dan or Phil’s character. Instead, I wish to share my thoughts on their entertainment value as creators, and how - for me - I no longer find myself enchanted with their content. 

     Additionally, throughout the course of this post you’ll find that I often refer to Dan and Phil as a collective. I understand how this remains a point of contention throughout the fandom, for it remains a sad truth that oftentimes Phil (despite being his own autonomous individual/entertainer) gets lumped in with Dan who - in terms of subscriber count and sheer volume of fans - remains the more successful of the two. It is not my intent to relegate Phil to Dan’s shadow - rather, I find that many of the critiques I have for one cross-apply to the other, hence my frequent use of “Dan and Phil” instead of just Dan or just Phil.   

      Lastly, I would like to get ahead of the curve (should it ever arise) and placate the masses now while I have the opportunity. It is not my intent - and nor has it ever been my intent with any online criticisms - to disparage not only the creator, but their fans. I understand that there is still a thriving community of fans centered around the entertainment Dan and Phil put forth, and it is not my goal to shame anyone for their likes and preferences, or even to try to change your minds. This is not meant to be a persuasive essay: simply an analytical one (granted, one primarily propped up by my own biased opinions over statistical data, but I hope you are able to take the sum total of my assessments with a grain of salt and understand that just as you are welcome and encouraged to share your thoughts on the matter, I wish to be afforded that same generosity).  

     Now with that very important preamble out of the way (which, if you decided to skim, I would highly encourage you to go back and read it in full, for I believe it to have some rather crucial groundwork laid out) we can delve into the heart of the matter. In order to do so, I think it important to establish my background on this subject matter. Dan Howell was the first Youtuber I ever watched. I was still extremely new to YouTube as a platform at the time, and I remember scrolling through my homepage until I stumbled across a video titled, “Human Interaction.” From there, I was hooked. There really isn’t much to say from there; I immediately fell over myself watching video after video of his and, in the process, quickly discovered his flatmate Phil’s channel (or as we know him, Amazingphil). From the years 2013 to about late 2017 they were my all-time favorite Youtubers. As the years wore on I only subscribed to about ten other Youtubers because I felt so strongly that no other creator could capture the magic of what Dan and Phil uploaded. I watched all their videos, bought their merch, and, when the opportunity arose, even went to the Amazing Tour is Not on Fire. I still remember that night (seeing Dan and Phil burst on stage out of a giant prop microwave) as one of the happiest live-performance experiences of my life. My apathy towards both did not spring forth born out out of some heinous act either committed. Rather, it was a steady, almost innocuous decline. I feel as though I simply grew out of them. And here is where my first, and pretty much only real critique comes to light; both Dan and Phil’s content have remained stagnate. 

     Please do not misunderstand: I realize that Youtubers are real people, and to demand growth and change out of people who have arguably settled into who they want to be as adults would be rather unfair. Dan and Phil are not characters on a tv show - I don’t get to shake my fist at my laptop screen and gripe about “poor character arcs” or “slow seasons.” Dan and Phil are flesh and blood - they are not playing characters in a fictional universe. Sure, arguably all Youtubers (and any online persona) “put on a face” for the camera, but there’s a world of difference between, “forcing myself to be extra chipper for the next hour,” and acting out a character in a Hollywood writer’s script. On the one hand, there is a part of me that is happy Dan and Phil (after so many years of struggling with their identities) finally found happiness in themselves. However, if you’ll remember back to what I said in the preamble, that is not the point of this essay. 

     My apathy towards Dan and Phil lies not with their moral characters, but with their entertainment value, and for me personally, I find it hard to be entertained by what I find to be the same old content I was laughing at in 2013 repackaged into new scenarios and re-uploaded in 2020. Dan and Phil’s prize content was their ability to be so relatable. For Dan especially, I loved hearing him talk about how awkward he was around other people because that’s how I felt around the people in my own life. However, that did not last. I eventually grew out of my awkwardness and found a multitude of friends that I was able to be myself around, and in turn take that confidence I felt around them and project it onto others that came into my life, regardless of how well I knew them. Dan, as well as Phil, had lost the one thing that drew me to them in the first place: their ability to be relatable. Even so, during the latter half of the years during which I continued to watch their videos, there was something else that kept me around: their humor. I thought they were wonderfully funny, and even during my darkest hours I knew I could count on them to brighten my day. Yet, as the years I went by, I noticed that the subject matter of their humor remained pretty much the same as well. Most of their punchlines centered around the same handful of premises (for example, Dan joking about how black his soul is), and like I stated earlier, I had begun to grow tired of the stagnation. 

     One last time, I would like to recognize that what one person might call “stagnation” another would call “finding a niche,” and I respect that. Many people would argue that Dan and Phil simply stumbled across a specific niche years ago and have been fulfilling that hole glamorously nearly a decade later, and to that I say that’s wonderful! I think that’s a perfectly valid viewpoint to take! It just so happens that I do not share that same perspective.

     One of the many indicators in which I feel you can physically see how unchanged their videos have become is in Phil’s (it’s hard to judge Dan’s progression since his last video was uploaded about a year ago as of this post’s uploading). As of mid-2020, Phil’s editing has remained largely unchanged. He still uses the same sound effects, the same visual cues, the same editing tools, and after nearly a decade of watching, I’ve just begun to find it all stale. Even his video concepts remain largely unchanged. I understand that if he’s uploading much of the same content over years that must mean he’s making the content he wants to make, and I am happy he’s reached that point, but it is not the content for me. 

     All in all, this was a terribly long post that I had considered writing for a while now, and regardless if anyone even reads it, I figure, “Hey - I’ve written it, it’s off my chest, and now I can finally rest in peace.” I no longer find Dan and Phil relatable for the person I have grown into. I in no way regret all the years I spent loving their content and laughing at their antics. But when you look at Dan’s Tweets from around 2014 to now and see that his jokes have remained fairly unvaried, as have Phil’s, I no longer feel a connection to the two as I once had. Lastly, I do want to say that these opinions of mine are not solidified. Yes, this is how I feel now, and it is how I’ve felt for quite some time, but please do not mistake my current stance for me digging my heels in the sand to declare, “No! I have sworn off Dan and Phil and I shall never partake in their content again!” No, of course not! I’m always open to change, and if Dan and Phil suddenly take an enjoyable creative turn, I’d be happy to take a look. And what’s more, I’m a sucker for nostalgia, so I can definitely see myself popping on YouTube to watch an old Dan video or two, or an old Phil video or two, or a gaming channel video or two, or whatever! They will always leave me with fond memories - memories I will take with me for years to come.

[yogpetshame]

Regarding your notes about parasocial etc: I've been watching the yogs and others for over a decade now. How would one would wean oneself from this affliction? How can I stop obsessively watching the channels daily?

Let’s play a little armchair psycholo.. psychiatrist? I don’t know the difference which is why I don’t get paid to do this.

First: your problems are probably not that severe. I want to start this from a realistic perspective. YouTube is, to some, the new TV, and watching videos every day is not by nature unhealthy.

Some signs that your YouTube habit is unhealthy:

When you fall behind on YouTube videos, you’re not just disappointed - you’re mad. Irritable. Anxious. You even feel guilty.

Watching videos has reduced your interest in other hobbies. Video games don’t count as a hobby here, I mean you’ve passed on going out, seeing people, cleaning, cooking, because you were on a binge.

You rely on the videos to ease your anxiety or guilt. If you have a bad day, you feel you must watch. It’s your painkiller.

If someone comes between you and the Yogs - if Ted tells you he doesn’t like the videos, or that Rooster Teeth is better, or that you should stop watching because he doesn’t agree with the Yogscast’s morals - and it’s enough to endanger your entire relationship with that person.

If you recognize yourself in these, yeah, you should definitely knock it off.

If you just want to stop even though you’re not exactly addicted, that’s still great, you run your life. It’s just important to put it out there that some people may have problem and there is an objective way to tell.

Anyway, on to your actual question: weaning yourself.

I’ve (this shouldn’t be a surprise) dipped in and out of this issue myself with a lot of different channels over time. I’ve never been too far gone but I’ve occasionally looked at my interest in a channel and thought “this gives me no joy, and yet I come back every day for more. Why?”

I don’t exactly have a set of steps for how I’ve broken off from a channel, but here’s some things in a random order that’ve helped before:

Break the habit… for three days.

The goal here, fundamentally, is to stop watching the Yogscast for a period of time. In your case, forever, but let’s start with a chunk of time. I’m not saying that step one is “if you want to stop watching the Yogscast, stop watching them,” but if you have something to hand already that would fill the hole for a few days, try that first. Pick up Outer Worlds. Begin your detox the day you leave on a vacation. Initiate a break in the habit and then continue to reinforce the broken habit as you go along.

Get Hooked on Something Else

This one’s… kind of stupid. And obvious. But if you start watching some other YouTuber whose content is really fresh and engaging, and they have a big backlog, it’s easier than may you think to just start watching them instead and let your older subscriptions gather dust. 

It helps if the category of video is also wildly different to what you’re used to watching. If you’re watching the Yogscast, and you just move to watching Rooster Teeth play the same games the Yogscast plays, you’re just going to compare them to the Yogscast and want to go back. The joy of discovering a totally new person and a totally different hobby will disengage you from their whole orbit.

I did this once with the late StobetheHobo. He was a train-hopper who filmed himself traveling illegally on freight trains. Watching a strange man who uses terms you don’t understand doing something you know nothing about is really, really, really refreshing. What’s a “bull”? Why are we in Montana? Where are these piano covers coming from? Not comparable at all to the Yogscast, and will hook you with the mystery.

Kitboga is another good option. Especially because, like Stobe, you likely know nothing about what he does. You will never have seen the Yogscast make a video where they connect a virtual machine with a tech support scammer and analyze the things they do to brick the fake computer. Plus his sense of humor is pretty similar to theirs, and he’s very deliberate about putting on a good show.

There’s also just Netflix. Or real TV. If you get caught up on something you’ve been passing up for the Yogscast during the times you normally watch them, you can avoid them for a while.

Build up a backlog

If you can muster a couple days deliberately not watching the Yogscast, and a couple more days distracting yourself with something, you’re going to build up a major backlog in no time at all. If you subscribe to just two different Yogscast members, you could have as much as five hours of backlog after passing them up for just a week. If you try to catch up over the next few days, you’ll be pushing the ball uphill as more content keeps coming out.

This has a cascading impact. Suddenly memes on the Reddit don’t make sense. Why read the posts there if you don’t know what people are talking about?

Why spend time looking at Yogscast stuff if you’re so behind? You need to catch up or else you won’t get it.

When are you going to make time to catch up? You’re still four hours behind. Oh, you were really busy today huh? Now you’re back to being five hours behind. Oh no, now it’s seven. Twelve hours. Twenty hours.

Finally, you break. Fuck those videos. Let’s skip ahead. What came out today?

Oh. Now the videos themselves aren’t funny because you’re so far behind on the references.

Congratulations. You’ve made it harder to get back in than it is to get out.

[lilacskyent-blog]

Breakfast with Chelsea

It seems crazy to think about in the age of social media, smartphones, and streaming services, but the internet is still new. Do you remember a time before Google? Do you remember dial up? Do you remember the first smartphone? All of these advancements have taken place very quickly, but there are entire generations who have never lived in a world without iPhones, while some, like myself, have the annoying noise dial-up internet made drilled into our memories forever. Now we live in a world of almost endless possibilities through technology. We’ve gone from growing up with our favorite sitcom actors to growing up with our favorite YouTubers. Nowadays most YouTubers are self-taught, but in the beginning, a lot of the big names on the platform were the underdogs of traditional media. Names like Casey Neistat, of course, come to mind, but also Benny and Rafi Fine, who went from filmmaking to YouTube juggernauts with their React series. Last week I got to sit with one of the first ever teen reactors Chelsea, who has threaded the needle between traditional and digital media entertainer for years. From voice acting commercials to web skits and react videos, Chelsea has left her mark in so many projects and in so many forms you may not have realized she was there. Now she streams on Twitch and has amassed a beautiful, supportive community she calls The Walker Horde, based off her love for The Walking Dead.

So how did your entry into traditional media happen?

I’ve been dancing since I was six. A friend of mine asked me to come with her to an audition for a singing role, and I could audition as a backup dancer. We both auditioned and we both ended up getting the part. So, since we’d be doing music videos we decided to take an acting class. Funny enough, my first acting teacher was Adrian R'Mante (Esteban from Suite Life of Zack & Cody.) I fell in love with it, I saw a chance to pursue a career in something I really love. So I got an agent and just started auditioning and going for whatever’s next.

3 Breakfast must haves?

Potatoes of some kind

Pancakes, French Toast, or Waffles

Coffee

What is the source of your obsession with The Walking Dead?

It’s the story. I’ve always loved horror, but TWD has this amazing story that is about the people, not the zombies but set in a horror scenario. There’s never been anything like it done this well. I was twelve when it came out and was transitioning out of dance so I wasn’t seeing many of my friends. It kept me happy and excited for each week with new episodes. Later when I found the fandom online, everyone is so loving and supportive, it gives a strong sense of community. It helped me through my teenage years.

Ok so I have to ask at least 2 questions about FBE, so first, I know you’re from the era when they used casting sites, so how did all that go down, what was on your mind when you first joined?

I’d just started getting into acting, seeing if I liked it, and there was a casting call. So, I originally auditioned for kids react but didn’t hear anything for a little bit. Later on I got an email inviting me to be on teens react. Before that, YouTube was barely on my radar. I was so into movies and tv that I never saw it as a creative platform.  

Second, which 2 reactors and 2 Walking Dead characters would you select to help you survive the zombie apocalypse?

Rick, cause he just doesn’t die. Carol is really loyal. Norah is super smart so she’d be helpful with medical and engineering needs, and then Dionte, cause he’d be a fun person to have to keep your morale up at the end of the world.

So, the zombie apocalypse is here and you only have 3 songs to keep you going. Which songs are they?

Never Let It Die- Watsky

Phoenix- Fall Out Boy

Cold Cold Cold- Cage The Elephant

How did you go from doing the voice of Barbie commercials to taking down villains on Twitch?

I’ve been doing voiceovers for a while, whenever they pop up. I have two sides to my personality cause I love horror but at the same time I like cute, happy girly stuff. There’s so much to look at and enjoy in everything. Crazy special effects gore, happy endings that warm your heart, I love it all.

What’s your goal? Or your dream?

It sounds cliche, but happiness. I keep my dreams big but my goals small. I like to focus on each step. I just want to make people happy and leave the world better than I found it.

As someone who's worked on both sides, what, for you, is the key difference between digital and traditional media?

Both are really different depending on the scale. In a major picture, everyone has a schedule and a place and you have to stay there. It’s a little more stressed and high pace. With digital, there’s nothing really set in stone cause you’re your own boss and you don’t know if it’s gonna take off or if you’re getting anything out of it. At the end of the day, regardless of platform, you’re creating content.

Your journey is absolutely mind-blowing, how do you process the roller coaster you’ve been on?

I’m still figuring that out. I wake up most of the time in awe. I never thought of Twitch as a job, but now I focus on it and do it multiple times a week. Sometimes I sit and start happy crying cause I don’t understand everyone’s love and generosity. I don’t know what I do that makes people happy, but I’m going to keep doing it. As an actor, you face rejection every day, so to come into this much love is amazing. I’m in awe of it.

Would you ever go full traditional or full digital? If something called to me in traditional I would definitely give it my all, but I’d never fully stop streaming or creating content in other ways. I love interacting with the community there, it makes me so happy. I could never just drop it like that.

Do you know how awesome you are?

No, that’s not a word I would use to describe myself.

Chelsea may not think of herself as awesome, but the multitude of people who tune into her streams and get excited when she pops up in YouTube videos definitely do. In a way, the societal shift from traditional to digital media is a huge piece of her story. Who knows, she could’ve been the next coming of age teen movie actress, or the single survivor in a b list horror film, instead, she’s our digital zombie loving hero, and so much more. She’s bringing joy to so many people every day. For most of us, she entered our lives six years ago through React, and now we watch her freak out when people donate in Twitch, we donate to charity streams, and we even make jokes about her gaming chair and it’s plans to take over the world. Chelsea is a genuine person and a genuine entertainer. I can’t wait to see what happens next.

[immoral-summer]

On the topic of PewDiePie

@tearahi​

I’m going to both address the main topic and minor tidbits from each of your articles, but let’s start with your articles:

Popular YouTube Streamer Promotes Channel That Publishes Anti-Semitic Content

The article talks about Felix calling someone a “crybaby” because of the gender wage gap. In case you didn’t know, the gender wage gap is a perpetuated myth that only “exists” because of averaged differences in each gender’s work area.

What I mean is that men, because they’re typically stronger and more lenient towards hard labor, they’ll work said labor-intensive jobs that earn more, whereas women typically work in “easy” jobs, such as secretary, office, teaching, etc. There’s no wage gap.

YouTube’s most popular user amplified anti-Semitic rhetoric. Again.

One thing I must mention is bias. Vox is typically left-leaning, so I’m going to assume this article is chock full of left-leaning bias from the start...

Told you.

This article also mentions past grievances, the “nazi salute video” and the “Fiverr anti-semitic sign video” specifically.

Upon finding the infamous “Nazi Salute” video, it seems to me like it’s... a joke. It’s a mockery of his “fame” and “persona”. I’m not shocked that journalists would use this, tbqh.

The Fiverr incident was satirical. It was meant to convey a message that Fiverr has no moderation. In general, Fiverr is an untrustworthy site, that famous “Credit Card Digits” guy got into legal trouble because Fiverr didn’t bother giving him the earnings he got after a ban. Take a quick Google search to find that one out.

The article also mentions the video in question, noting that “the first 15 seconds of part two contain a reference to a 2017 incident in which PewDiePie himself dropped a racial slur...”, which isn’t at all relevant to the topic. Yet another strategically-placed bit of bias to make people dislike Felix because of a slip-up that he’s apologized and faced consequences for many times already.

Not only that, the article mentions his followers’ ages, not realizing that parents exist and that not teaching your child about the proper ways and tips on using the Internet is what brings about its dire effects. The article also attempts to speak about the “Sub to PewDiePie” meme as negative. Vox describes it as “aggressive” to say a simple phrase. The article makes the fans look aggressive.

It’s also interesting how Vox mentions WSJ’s “investigation” on PewDiePie, where they even say that WSJ “emailed Disney representatives for comment on the content of his videos”. Sounds to me like the WSJ is attempting a CNN and either blackmailing or pressuring executives.

PewDiePie Receives Backlash After Recommending Anti-Semitic, White Supremacist YouTube Channel

I’d like to use this article to mention something that I strongly dislike about YouTube and this controversy’s hypocrisy.

Remember when Logan Paul video-taped a man hanging from the Aokigahara Forest in Japan? Remember how this caused the infamous “Ad-pocalypse” on YouTube, where advertisers were bailing out due to the controversy, which caused the entire “Demonetization” feature to occur on YouTube, which subsequently ruined multiple channels due to petty shit like “offensive language”?

Yeah, after that, Logan got his little movie released on YouTube Premium, whereas Felix’s “anti-semitism” scrapped his whole Premium show. Here’s the website’s article on this issue. I hope you can understand why I mentioned this.

Your last article doesn’t mention much, so this is where I’ll begin the main topic:

The video itself seems fine. There’s minor edgy post-editing, and his opinions are very out-there in terms of broadcasting it to his fans. I don’t understand how this video that he enjoyed with edgy humor is somehow making Felix out to be a “white supremacist nazi”

To reference Vox’s terrible article, they mentioned that this video was one of many “dog-whistles” to instill “white supremacist propaganda”. They also specify that the video contained “racial slurs” and all I heard was “nigga”. Says a lot about their fucking credibility, huh?

Also, I fully watched Part 2, which was linked in one of your articles alongside referencing the Charlotesville Attack, and I didn’t see said reference. Do let me know if there’s a timestamp for it, cause the commentary’s got me bored.

and with that, this is where I begin my first point:

Stop taking everything online so seriously.

This is hypocritical coming from some kid online who hates the idea of radical feminists even touching him, but this is a serious point to make.

It’s understandable, morally, to give grievance when someone makes an “edgy” joke or uses 4chan memes. Yes, boo hoo, someone online, for example, called you a “faggot”. I know it affects people, I know it’ll hurt being called a slur or some shit. We need to start taking the idea of the internet into play when discussing this type of shit.

The internet is anonymous. The internet has countless amounts of opinions, personalities, and worldviews. You can’t apply your thinking and understanding of your personal opinions onto others. You can’t say “don’t say faggot” and expect people to listen.

The only tip I can give you from this is just... don’t take the internet so seriously... unless there’s some call to action that can threaten your life, or some shit obviously, but you’re better fucking off just sweeping shit like this as either “stupid” or “funny” instead of getting your panties in a twist over tiny, petty comments that you’re inevitably going to see online.

And now my second point:

Stop fully believing in the media, especially when you haven’t confirmed anything yourself.

While the articles mention E;R as a whole, they continuously use the same video Felix mentioned as some sort of “proof”, even though there was little-to-no “white supremacy propaganda” or “nazism” in the video linked. This is why you fact check before assuming things are correct.

To give you a better example, look at the recent Covington Students controversy, where CNN gave a false report that painted teenaged students as “racists” due to edited footage. Nobody attempted to research and a bandwagon of angry people began to harass, dox, and threaten death upon the teens until someone had released a full 2 hour video that showed the teens’ innocence.

On top of this, some of your articles mention Felix’s past transgressions, even though these events were either satirical examples or poking fun at idolization.

Instead of telling the truth, your sources began the infamous train of hate, purposefully used said past videos as “proof” that he’s “anti-semitic” and a “nazi”, and Vox had even detailed WSJ’s blackmail scheme to get PewDiePie fucked. You and the others took the bait and are still lost in the sauce.

Take that as you will, I’m done here.

If you need clarification on anything, feel free to @ me. I’m going to hope you at least skim through instead of pushing this aside.

[softspideys]

Are you okay? (Peter Parker x Reader) (Part I)

summary: while walking home alone one night, you find you’re being followed by a group of men. a certain masked hero swoops in to save the day before it’s too late.

warnings: uhhh there’s some harassment and a lil bit of a scary situation at the beginning but aside from that none

words: 1.9k

pairings: peter parker x reader

a/n: so many people encouraged me to post this so thank u so much <3 the reader is female in this just because of the plot and stuff so im sorry to all of my non-female readers :( if y’all like this i’ll definitely write some more and try to make them gender neutral. this is my first time posting my stuff on here so i hope it’s good :^)

You’d called the streets of Queens, New York your home for your entire life and you wouldn’t want it any other way. Some of your friends complained about living in the city, and sure, there were downsides: fighting for elbow room on a crowded subway, for example. Actually, pretty much just everything about the subway. Then there was the noise and the trash and the way that everyone and everything was packed in together so tightly. There were no backyards, everything was smelly; the list seemed to go on and on.

Even so, you loved living in the city. You were familiar with the streets and you weren’t afraid of any of them. Sure, you knew there was crime and murderers and rapists and robbers and gangs, but what was the likelihood that anything was going to happen to you?

One Friday night, you’d stayed late at a friend’s house. The two of you had started out doing some homework, but quickly dissolved into watching movies and eating snacks all evening. By the time your mom texted you, asking when you’d be home, it was almost eleven o’clock.

“Do you want my dad to walk you home?” your friend asked worriedly.

You knew your friend’s parents had retired to their room for the night and were probably asleep. You shook your head. “Nah, I’ll be okay. I’ll see you on Monday.”

You took the subway without any problems and came out only a few blocks away from your apartment. As you walked, you passed by some apartment buildings, one of which had a group of guys sitting on the front stoop. You paid them no mind as you went by, pretending not to hear the whistles directed at you. Unfortunately, you were no stranger to catcalls, but mother had always told you to just keep your head down and ignore them and you wouldn’t have a problem. So far it had worked. But not tonight.

You heard footsteps as the men got off of the stoop and began to follow you. You felt a lump of dread settling in your throat. You knew you had pepper spray somewhere in your backpack, but you were afraid to pause and search for it.

“Hey, beautiful,” one of the men cooed. His voice was smooth but it still made you sick to your stomach. “Where you going? Why you alone at this time of night?”

You didn’t answer, quickening your pace although deep down you knew it wouldn’t help. “Hey,” he said, louder and harsher this time, “I’m talking to you.”

Suddenly there were footsteps, heavy and loud behind you, and then a hand was grabbing your arm and jerking you back. You tried to pull your arm out of his grasp, but he merely held on tighter, making you flinch with pain. The other two men were surrounding you now, leaving you with no way out. Why was there no one around? This was New York, for God’s sake, there were always people around. It was just your luck. 

“Let go of me!” you shouted, hoping you would just sound angry and not scared.

They were all grinning now. “I don’t like being ignored,” the one holding onto you said. “I was just trying to be nice and give you a compliment, and you ignored me. That’s disrespectful.” He leaned in closer, and you could smell his hot breath on your face.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, feeling tears burn your eyes. “I’m sorry, please let me go.”

He shook his head. “You know what we do to disrespectful little girls like you?”

Your heart was beating so hard and so fast it felt like it was going to burst out of your chest. You had no idea what they did to disrespectful little girls, but you knew it wasn’t going to be good, and you knew there was nothing you could do to stop them. You thought of your mom and dad, waiting for you to come home, blissfully unaware of your dilemma.

“Please,” was all you could say, your voice shaking, “please, don’t.”

They all laughed, but before anything else could happen, a new voice said, “What’s so funny, gentlemen?”

Surprised, they turned in time to see a figure swooping down from a building, landing a few feet in front of you. What appeared to be a huge white net shot out and trapped one of the men against the wall. He shouted and tried to break free, but he was . . . stuck?

“Come on, guys, can’t you take a hint?” the guy continued. “If a girl ignores you when you catcall her and begs you to let her go, it means she’s just not into you like that.” You watched, eyes wide, as another net shot out from . . . his wrist? His hand? His arm? Either way, it trapped the second guy against the wall next to his partner.

The guy stepped into the light and you realized that it wasn’t a net, it was webbing. Spider-Man’s webbing, to be exact. The third assailant, the one holding onto you, seemed to realize that he had no chance in fighting back. He shoved you roughly to the ground and took off running.

“Oh no you don’t,” Spider-Man called. He shot another web at him and pinned the guy to a lamppost. You could hear him knock against it with a loud, painful-sounding clang. “There. Moral of the story here, guys? Respect women.”

He turned to you. “Now, let’s get you home, ma’am – oh.”

His voice instantly lost that smooth, confident tone he’d been speaking in as he jogged over and knelt to where you were sitting on the ground from when you’d been pushed. Your heart was still beating at a million miles an hour, and you felt dizzy, like you were in a dream.

If he hadn’t rescued you from such a horrifying situation, you would’ve thanked him, flirted with him a little, maybe even kissed his cheek. You knew all about Spider-Man, of course; you’d seen videos of him on the news and on YouTube. Occasionally he was known to get involved in huge crimes and heists, but mostly he was just the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, who gave old women directions and helped cats out of trees and did flips for people when they asked. You’d always imagined what it would be like to meet him, but never thought it would happen like this.

“Hey, are you okay? Wait, that was stupid, of course you’re not okay, you almost just got attacked – what I mean is, are you hurt? Did they do anything to you?” His voice was high, so you could tell that he wasn’t an adult. Judging from that, as well as his height, you would’ve guessed that he was around your age.

You shook your head. You could feel a bruise on your arm from where the man had grabbed you hard, and your hands and knees were a little scraped from falling on the pavement, but you knew you were lucky to walk away with such minor injuries when it could’ve gone a lot worse.

“Oh, good. I was afraid I got there too late. Did you see the look on their faces when I came down? I love doing that, it never gets – wait, why are you crying?”

The weight of everything that had just happened finally came crashing down on you, and you felt yourself starting to cry. What would’ve happened if Spider-Man had gotten there too late? Would you be dead by now?

“I’m sorry,” you choked out, feeling embarrassed to be crying in front of him. It was bad enough he had to save you from such an awful situation.

“No!” he said quickly, startling you. “Sorry, I mean, don’t apologize. I’m sorry. You must be really scared and now you have to listen to me ramble. I’m probably only making it worse.”

You laughed a little, trying to wipe your tears away. “No, you aren’t. You saved me. I’m the stupid one who was walking alone at night.” You shook your head at yourself. Your mom would be so angry if she found out.

“Hey, it’s not your fault,” Spider-Man said. “Those guys – they’re creeps, they’re horrible. You weren’t doing anything wrong. It’s okay.”

You shook your head. You hadn’t even realized you were still shaking until he put a tentative arm around you. The material of his suit wasn’t rubbery like you originally thought; it was smooth and cool. You stiffened and he started to withdraw his arm.

“Sorry, I’m sorry, I think you’re in shock and I thought maybe that would help but of course it wouldn’t, why would you want some weirdo touching you after what just happened? I’m really sorry.” You noticed that he tended to ramble, especially when he was nervous.

“It’s okay,” you said softly. “You can – you can put it back.”

“Okay.” Slowly, he put his arm back around you, rubbing your shoulder. You felt yourself blushing, and you wondered if Spider-Man were to take off his mask, would he be too? And then another thought hit you: what would he look like, if he were to take off his mask?

The two of you sat there for a minute or so until he finally asked, “So, uh – where do you live? I’ll walk you home. If you want. If you don’t want me to that’s okay, I would just feel better about it if I was with you. Um.” He scratched the back of his neck.

You smiled a little. “I live two blocks away.” The irony that you got attacked so close to where you lived was definitely not lost on you. “And I would really like that.”

“Okay. Let’s go.” Spider-Man stood and offered you a hand, pulling you up.

“What about . . . them?” You gestured to your would-be attackers, still pinned to the building and lamppost.

“I’ll come back for them,” Spider-Man decided. “They aren’t exactly going anywhere.” The two of you silently walked side-by-side to your apartment. There were a few people sitting on their front stoops, but no one gave you a second look. 

You snuck quick little peeks at him as you walked. He was only a few inches taller than you. He was definitely muscular – he had to be, considering all of the superhero-y things he could do – but now that the two of you were just walking, you saw he was also kind of awkward: he bumped into you every now and then and tripped over things like holes in the sidewalk or flower pots. It was a little endearing, and only made your guess that he was around your age even firmer.

You finally arrived at your building, and you breathed a sigh of relief. “Well, here you are,” Spider-Man said. “I, uh, didn’t catch your name.”

“Y/N,” you said, a little shyly.

“Y/N,” he repeated. “Pretty. Well, have a good night. Is that the right thing to say? I hope your night gets better, there we go. Good.”

You laughed for the first time all night. “Thank you,” you said, looking up at him. “For saving me, and for – this. Thank you.”

“Anytime,” he answered, and you could’ve sworn he was smiling. “Don’t take this the wrong way or anything, but I hope we don’t see each other again.” You nodded. He gave you a little wave before he took off jogging across the street, and you watched as he shot a web string onto the side of a building and swung into the night.