#my dad went here and according to him the school actually used to have 4 languages instead of the usual 3

[dreamsy990]

random thing i noticed in my spanish class:

my spanish class is full of people who like. dont care about spanish in general and just took it because they knew a little already or their parents wanted them to. or they hate the teacher. or they just dont like the way we're learning it.

and like. you'd expect people to be playing games. but theyre just DOING OTHER LANGUAGES ON DUOLINGO!!!!!!!!!!!! THE GIRL NEXT TO ME IS DOING FRENCH!!!!!!!!!! SOME GUY IN THE FRONT IS DOING JAPANESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ONE OF MY FRIENDS IS DOING YIDDISH AND HEBREW AND ANOTHER IS DOING RUSSIAN!!!!!!!!! I'M DOING GERMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i just think thats pretty interesting. not sure what its saying but its probably saying something

[sashkapi]

Do you have an character design about Kendall’s unseen older sister? And do you have any headcanons about her also?

I had designed her quite a while ago and apparently forgot to post. Sowwy QmQ

Linda "Linnie" Perkins :)

She is based on a bg character from "Spelling Bee", and according to Sandro we did see Linnie as a background character so you bet my ass was onto every blonde teen girl in the show jfjxjkdnvkjdv

AW YEAH, HEADCANON TIME

1. She used to be a cheerleader. But then her team found out she cheated on her initiation and got kicked out. (She immediately told a loser she had to date that they would be fake dating. She still didn't tell him about the final step of initiation, so Linnie was being just as cruel as cheerleaders.)

2. After getting kicked out, she actually joined the girl's soccer team and still does gymnastics. Girl genuinely enjoys sports.

3. Just like Brad with Kick, Linnie bullies Kendall, although she doesn't get "physical" often. Linnie would rather get some rats into Kendall's room or pour glue in her shampoo than pulling her hair.

As a note: Linnie still absolutely would pull Kendall's hair. Pictured above.

4. She calls Brad "Car-crash". The first time they actually talked was when Linnie was getting her driver's license and Brad was redoing the test for his. Now guess how Brad's test went.

5. She and Brad are sorta friends. Yes, Brad used to hit on her, but after learning that she used to be a cheerleader he kinda backed out (Kelly trauma). Linnie, of course, wasn't interested in him at all, but their shared "interest" in bullying their younger siblings made them unlikely friends. 

Or "Girlboss adopts a Boyloser"

(Brad still hits on her from time to time. The answer is always no.)

6. Already mentioned in my Kendall headcanons, but Linnie also has a cat named "Gretel". While Kendall dots on Hansel and frequently calls her nice names, Linnie treats Gretel like "Oh lawd, here comes that big fat idiot! Who's a big fat idiot? You are! Who has no thoughts in that little skull of yours? You have!". She does it lovingly of course. She loves Gretel.

7. The reason Kendall was getting a soccer ball in "Tattler's tale"? It wasn't hers, it was Linnie's. Kendall and Linnie used to play soccer in their backyard when they were younger, something they don't do anymore due to their strained relationship. Kendall is quite sentimental girl deep down, she didn't want something that has such good memories connected to it getting lost.

Linnie knows that Kendall got that ball back and while she didn't say anything - she really appreciated it.

Got her pink glitter pen in secret as a thanks.

8. Linnie doesn't have a "posse". She has her soccer team. That is kinda like her posse. After cheerleading and some "practice" when she used to play with Kendall - becoming an ace on a field didn't take long for her.

She is genuinely friends with her teammates tho.

9. She is actually really strong. Physically. Even by athletic standards. She can easily pick up several people without breaking a sweat.

After thinking that she is among the strongest people in her school (and later college) - witnessing Gunther's strength made her low-key terrified of him. ("Like wdym he can pick up several BULLS?! AND FREELY RUN WITH THEM?!?!")

10. Yes, she is beefing with Kelly now. Kelly is the one who found out about her initiation cheating and is the reason Linnie got kicked out from the cheerleading squad after all.

Brad 🤝 Linnie   Fuck Kelly

11. One of her ways to bully Kendall is to ruin her clothes. The reason Kendall's pink-green sweaters are fine? "No matter what I do, I can not ruin those ugly sweaters even more"

12. Linnie knew about Kendall's crush on Kick for a while. She didn't use it in her bullying because she has standards.

And she kinda just doesn't care.

13. Linnie go-to derogatory nickname for Kendall is "sissy". Just in case Kendall tries to snitch like "she calls me names!" to their dad, Linnie can spin it as "Oh my silly sis! I was calling you sis, you silly!"

14. Once Kick and Kendall started dating, Linnie extended her bullying onto Kick too. Only when the two of them are together, tho. Linnie isn't interested in picking on Kick alone, so she just ignores him (unless she's with Brad, in which case she just passively helps older Buttowski).

Don't ask Kick and Kendall how many of their dates were ruined by their older siblings.

15. Additionally, to the previous one: Linnie calls Kick "Pipsqueak" (Perkins' "call Kick "Kick"" challenge: impossible)

[ma-lark-ey]

I feel like challenging GOD so in my first ever read of Harry Potter I will be listing all of my headcanons in one big master post and sending it into the void space of tumblr thank you goodbye. I have no concept over which of these are hottakes, which of these are widely accepted, and which of them are just me being batshit crazy because as I write this I have never once looked at the Harry Potter fandom proper and my only knowledge of it is My Immortal and the fact that TikTok thinks Harry's dad and Sirius' little brother should makeout. 1. Ron Weasley is autistic.

2. Neville Longbottom is half-Korean on his mother's side, and also probably wears goofy little frog overalls.

3. Ron is tall, Harry is Short

4. Harry's scar is smattered across his face like a lightning storm and not just one little bolt, that's pussy shit. Make that shit dramatic

5. Ron and Luna probably had a fling at one point. Autism for autism

6. No way this isn't fanon, but Luna Lovegood is autistic.

7. Ginny Weasley is the HOTTEST bitch in Hogwarts and she is AWARE.

8. In Goblet of Fire the entire little Ron and Harry arc happening there was that they had a summer fling and then broke up when Ron had his little pissboy arc and they were both babies about it and then went back to having their regularly scheduled bromance thank you goodnight

9. Harry is actually dating a new person each book, no matter how short-lived it is. Why? Comedy. It's FUNNY.

10. I think Harry and Ginny have a shotgun wedding at like, nineteen.

11. All I know is that in my brief dive into AO3 (re: I looked up this exact tag out of morbid curiosity of it was A Thing), Sirius/Snape were apparently one of the smallest ships with like only 2k fics which is wild to me, because that enemies to lovers??? Thought bitches would eat that shit up. I don't ship it, but it still was wild.

12. Sirius and Remus are in love. (post mortum: I have now dived just slightly in the fic of Harry Potter and realize this is widely accepted fanon.)

13. Hermione wears fun frilly dresses outside of school and actually really loves dressing up and being girly fuck this 'not like other girls' agenda going on with her. Put her in a pretty dress and let her frolic in a field with flowers.

14. Luna is a seer. She goes on to teach divination

15. I was gonna say something about in my little noggin Ginny raised her and Harry's kid as a single mom or whatever and it's a fic I'm gonna work on and also his name is Remus Weasley and he's a Slytherin but APPARENTLY that's just the entire plot of the Cursed Child as my HP special interest having bestie informed me. I just added in a Gryffindor pretty boy for my Slytherin Potter boy to make out with when JKR was too much of a coward to make him gay.

16. RON SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN HUFFLEPUFF.

17. Cedric Diggory lived a very long and happy life and had a lovely spouse - guy who got really attached to this dorky little dude, knowing full well how he died.

18. It takes Harry at LEAST two marriages to women to realize he's gay. The egg takes a very long time to crack.

19. Ron is straight. He's just. He's got such bi wife energy.

20. Ginny Weasley is a raging bisexual, and so are the twins, and so is Bill. And Charlie? I know in my soul that's a nonbinary.

21. Luna Lovegood? NOT a lesbian, sorry lesbians. I'm claiming her for the aromantics. That's right. She belongs to us.

22. Fleur Delacour was a lesbian. LESBIAN.

23. Harry and Dudley reconnect in their like, thirties/forties and actually become good friends I think.

24. Harry often does diy piercings in the bathrooms during fifth and sixth year, Luna helps.

25. Fred and Lee Jordan are boyfriends god bless.

26. Out of spite for JKR, here's a list of trans woman in Harry Potter according to ME: Ginny Weasley, McGonagall, Hermione, Luna, Lily Potter (her and James are t4t), Tonks (that bitch is nonbinary transfemme),

27. I will live, breathe, and die by my personal headcannon that Tonks and Remus are comphet and in a lavender marriage but they lovingly coparent their child together and regularly at parties Tonks goes "where's my husband? Oh, he's making out with his boyfriend okay cool." and moves on.

28. Draco Malfoy's patronus is that white ferret Moody Crouch turned him into in book four.

29. In my perfect world James Potter is alive and I love him most than anything, I'm holding him like a wet cat. i literally bought three stag plushes over the month I was reading this series just because I couldn't stop thinking about him.

30. I am ignoring the implications in the epilogue that Harry did not raise Teddy Lupin, because he did, actually. That was the last promise he made to his beloved Remus Lupin and if Deathly Hallows taught us anything it's that Harry Potter keeps a fucking promise <<3

31. Molly and Arthur heavily assisted Harry in his 'I'm gonna raise this god damn orphan to good y'all won't know what hit him. I'm gonna be such a good dad.'

32. I am literally IGNORING all these implications of the Cursed Child. Draco Malfoy is also a banger dad. i think he goes to counseling and sorts out his issues and tries very hard to not put such high expectations on his own kids. I think he tries very hard to undo the damage Lucius did to him, and the bad choices he made in trying to make his parents proud of him. I think he makes sure his kids know better than anything else, that all he wants for them is joy. He wants them to be good, happy people.

33. Just Lovers - Zerrazapriel says that Sirius' patronus is Moony and that's so fucking real and true of that fucking fic and I live by that now.

34. On a similar note, Molly and Arthur have matching patronus'

35. Fuck this 'hermione minister of magic' nonsense that girl is a leftist and would never join politics did jkr forget her own fucking canon of harry and hermione doing their absolute best to fuck the government over for the last half of the series? whatever the fuck. HERMIONE TEACHES CHARMS AT HOGWARTS.

36. I'm sorry I got so heated on that last one. I had thoughts. Anyways, Draco also goes on to become head of Slytherin and teaches DADA.

37. I was so anti-Draco for the entire first five books and then the last two books Happened and so now I'm just holding him so close to my chest. He needs therapy. And i think it takes him until their mid-twenties or so, but I think he does make amends with Harry and the crew and actively tries to come back from the actions of his youth, and obviously the Golden Trio and co are sympathetic because Harry himself in the books clearly could recognize Draco was acting on the instruction of his trusted adults, trusting they knew better than him.

38. this is not a headcanon but the wandlore of Draco having a unicorn hair in his wand and the unicorn hair wizards being the most difficult to turn evil and his wand ultimately being the one to defeat voldemort is sooooooo. He's such a product of grooming and I think about him. I want to study him.

39. YOU KNOW WHAT. what if I said harry trans woman who unpacks her gender after the war is over and has time to contemplate who she is as a person and her and Draco become a very cute and in love little couple in their early thirties??? what then???? (does this fic exist and if it does give me links)

40. I think the funniest mental image ever is if Harry just shows up to a party or whatever with everyone when they're like, 26 with Draco fucking Malfoy in his arm and is like "this is my boyfriend" with no further explanation or nothing and half of the group is like "no yeah this is an expected development" and the other half is like "THE BITCHBOY????" and yeah.

I will most definitely have more Harry Potter thoughts as time goes on but this is all I'll put into the world. Good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight.

[casspurrjoybell-23]

LOST and FOUND - Chapter 4 - Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*

"You didn't tell me everyone in our entire family was going to be here," I grumbled to my brother as we drove up to my parents house and I saw all the cars parked along the street.

"I told you it was a family barbecue," Liam said, not getting my irritation.

"I thought you meant our family. Just like..."

He was giving me that look that said he did not understand me.

My family had looked at me like that a lot the past few years.

"Never mind," I said.

I had been expecting our immediate family at the party.

As in, Mom, Dad, Liam and I and maybe our Uncle Tim.

I did not expect everyone even remotely related to us to be here.

I sighed, not wanting to face them.

Somewhere along the way I had sort of become the black sheep of the family.

The one everyone gossiped about.

"Did you here Beau is with someone more than twice his age?"

"Oh the scandal."

Liam found a place to park and we got out of his truck.

As we approached the house, I realized I should've brought something.

Harrison would have made sure we came with some kind of food dish or something to drink.

I felt woefully guilty walking in empty handed.

He would've given me a good spanking for forgetting good manners.

As soon as we walked into the house I was being smothered.

"Hi, Mom," I said and she squeezed me so tightly I actually thought she might kill me.

"Oh, I'm so happy you're here," she said with emotion in her voice.

I knew my mom loved me but it was hard to remember sometimes because what she thought was best for me was completely different than what I believed I needed in life.

I hugged her back because I hadn't seen her in months and I was truly happy to see her.

If she didn't mention Harrison in a hurtful way I was sure we could get through this barbecue with no mishaps.

She finally pulled back and put her hands on my cheeks, just looking at me.

I'd been told many times I looked just like my mother.

The pale brown hair, green eyes, petite noses and full lips were all exactly the same on us.

I'd also inherited my height from my mother.

It was something I had learned to accept a while ago.

I was never going to be tall enough to reach the top shelf.

"Look at you," she said, smiling and looking sad at the same time.

"I don't like it when you stay away for so long and now you're all alone, over there..."

"It's okay, Mom," I forced out, putting on my fake smile.

I changed the subject by saying...

"I'm sorry I didn't bring anything. It totally slipped my mind."

"Oh, don't worry about that. I'm just so glad that you came," she said, leaving all the sadness behind and finally looking genuinely happy.

She kissed my cheek and grabbed my arm to pull me further into the house.

Liam had left sometime during my talk with Mom and we found both him and Dad in the kitchen, standing over the queso dip with beers in their hands.

My dad smiled at me and I went around the kitchen island to give him a side hug.

"How's my little boy doing?" he asked in his rough voice.

I punched him lightly on his large stomach.

"Not a little boy, Dad," I said with a frown.

"You'll always be little to me," he replied.

I sighed and reached for a chip.

"You need a haircut."

He ruffled my hair, terribly messing it up.

"Dad, I've had the same haircut since I graduated high school. I like it this way."

I shoved a chip into my mouth.

He had told me numerous times that my hair made me look like a girl.

It was only shoulder length, just touching the tops of my shoulders but that was still too long according to him.

I was tired of arguing with him about it so I tried to shut down that topic of conversation as soon as possible.

I pointed a stern finger at Liam as he took another drink of his beer.

"Don't get drunk. You still have to drive me home later."

Mom touched my back.

"Why don't you stay the night? Your room is still exactly the way you left it."

I fidgeted, not knowing how to say no without sounding completely rude.

I needed to sleep at home... Harrison's and mine.

I couldn't explain the anxiety I felt being so far away from the area that had truly become home to me during the past seven years.

I was aware that Mom wanted me to move back to their house but I knew I could never do that.

I still had no idea how I was going to afford living by myself without anyone to support me but I wasn't asking my parents for help.

They didn't know about all the bills I couldn't pay.

Liam didn't even know about them.

I hadn't told anyone.

I guessed the only person who knew now was Jona.

"I can't. I have work tomorrow," I lied.

That got my parents asking about work and I felt there was a lot less pressure on me after that.

Mom brought me out to the backyard where everyone was gathered in groups, talking, while my younger cousins ran around and played.

She stuck by my side and took me around to say hi to everyone.

The looks I got from everyone were half happy and half pitying.

They all clearly felt sorry for me but some of them tried to cover it up with how happy they were to see me.

No one mentioned Harrison which I was so grateful for.

I didn't know how I would handle a conversation about him with people I barely knew.

Finally my mother let me go and I wandered off on my own, only to find myself playing in our old sandbox ten minutes later.

I had fun building a sandcastle with my cousin Henry and half-cousin Katie until my cell-phone rang.

I wiped my hands off on my jeans and pulled it out of my pocket.

It was a number I didn't recognize so I ignored it and put it back in my pocket.

"Beau, help with this part," Henry instructed and pointed to the very top of the castle they were constructing.

It looked like a hot mess but I was helping as much as I could.

Less than a minute later my cell-phone rang a second time.

I got it out of my pocket again to see it was the same number calling me.

I frowned at it but decided to answer.

Either it was an important call for me or they had the wrong number. 

"Hello?"

"Where are you?" said the voice on the other end of the line.

I recognized it immediately.

It was Jona and he didn't sound happy.

"What do you mean where am I?" I asked.

"I'm at your house right now and you're obviously not here, so I want to know where you are?"

There was no patience in his tone.

I wiped my free hand on my jeans again.

"You can't just go to my house," I hissed into the phone.

I realized this wasn't a conversation to have in front of children.

They were doing a good job of ignoring me but they still had ears.

I stood up to move to an area where no one could overhear me but Henry and Katie started to protest.

"I..." Jona began to say something but stopped when I said a hushed.

"I'll be right back..." to the kids.

He was too quiet for a moment as I walked away from the party.

"Who are you with?" he asked with an edge to his voice.

I scrubbed at my eyes with my free hand, feeling stressed because of this conversation.

"Jeez, Jona. I'm at my parent's house. There's a party. My brother picked me up this morning."

"Why didn't you tell me?" he sounded genuinely confused that I wouldn't give that information to him.

I looked up at the sky, exasperated.

"Remember the part where I told you only my boyfriend can tell me what to do? Well, guess what? You're not my boyfriend, Jona," I said with some attitude.

"I don't have to answer to you."

[talesofstyles]

Drs Styles

paediatric heart surgeon harry, husband harry and dad harry. honestly the holy trinity.

warning: they did it in the car. bloody animals.

Harry

“Move your car, please!”

“What are you going to do? Write me a ticket?”

“This is in the interests of safety for the children!”

I look at the time in the car. I’ve still got about twenty to twenty-five minutes to watch this drama unfold at the school gate. I just wish we had popcorn because drop-off and parking situations at the school gates are always more entertaining than Good Morning Britain. 

The school gate is a strange social scene, and honestly, I don’t blame my wife for trying to avoid it like a plague. Sometimes, you don’t even have to talk to these people to know everything about their lives and more. I swear there are more gossips in the class WhatsApp group and daily playground chattering than in the copies of The Sun and Daily Mail combined. You know who’s married, who’s getting a divorce, whose husband shagged the au pair again, whose party you haven’t been invited to, even who’s looking for a builder. 

I see the school caretaker chuckling to himself as he sweeps the autumn leaves off the pathway, no doubt also enjoying our morning entertainment. 

“Why is Mrs Chambers screaming like that?” Alma, our eldest daughter, asks from the back of the car. 

“Because that man parks his car in a drop-off zone,” I reply, still watching him as he removes a child from his car seat. “Do you know who that is?”

“I think the boy is your classmate,” Alma turns to her sister.

Fiona, our youngest, peers over to inspect. “Oh yeah, that’s Rufus and his dad.”

“Do we like Rufus?”

“Not unless we like boys who pee down the slides,” Fiona scrunches her nose up. “He stood at the top and peed down like a waterfall. I haven’t gone down the slide ever since.”

I shake my head and let out a chuckle. “M’sure they’ve cleaned it up since, button.” 

Did you know that choosing a school for your child after nursery can be a head-throbbing, stomach-twisting, heart-pounding experience? Well, it can. How is one supposed to choose a school anyway? According to the proximity? Leavers Results? Adorable uniforms? Parents’ agendas?

After many, many discussions and visits through more schools than I can count, we ended up with Thomas’s Kensington. It’s a great school, and only ten minutes away from our home, making school runs easier. The downside of this school is the fact that it costs us an arm and a leg and that they’re always trying to rip us off any chance they get. Also, they only take the kids until 11, so after that, we’ll have to look for other schools again. But since our girls are only seven and five, we can worry about that later. 

There’s a strange mix of parents at this place. I went to school up in the North and the school gate scene is nothing like this. Here there are more au pairs, fancy cars, nicer clothes and people coming with impressive tans from their last weekend break in Antibes. The kids here are suited up too: the PE kit is the size of a small weekender bag, and we put them in uniforms that make them look smart, hoping that will increase the size of their brains. A child walks past our car with a cello case, another with a hockey stick. It’s a different land here. One that my socialist in-laws constantly tease us about and one which my mum was hysterical about because she was scared her grandbabies would be little Tories. I promised her I’d keep them grounded by only giving them plain hobnobs. None of those luxury chocolate covered ones.

Jokes aside, my girls are happy here. They’re thriving. They learn French and Spanish and Mandarin, even if they share a class with kids who have ridiculous names like Kitty and Archibald. 

A knock at my window calls me to attention. I wind it down.

“Are you Fiona’s dad?” A mum asks me.

“I am.”

“It’s about Ophelia’s riding party this Saturday at the riding stables.” 

Like I said, it’s a different land here.

“I thought we RSVPed to that?” I look at her in confusion.

“Yes, you did, but we have to change the food options as one of the partygoers is allergic to nuts. I’m making everyone aware and we need to let the guests know that they can’t bring any nuts on the day.”

A dirty joke is right there on the tip of my tongue and I’m trying my hardest to keep it in. My wife would definitely find it funny though, I’ve got to remember this and tell her later. 

“Noted,” I mean, I wasn’t going to send my daughter to a party with a packet of cashews anyway but I nod politely.

“And just gift vouchers for gifts please. Smiggle, if you can.”

Again, I nod, biting my tongue at the presumptuousness. But then I suddenly panic, because we haven’t entered the realms of pony riding just yet. Do I have to buy jods and boots? If I don’t, will my daughter be the odd one out? But Ophelia’s mum saunters off before I’ve got the chance to ask.

“Do I have to go to that party, daddy?” Fiona asks. 

“Well, we’ve already replied, poppet,” I tell her. “Did you not want to go?”

“I’ll go if I have to.”

I don’t answer because I get distracted by a vacant space. I edge the car forward so my girls can hop off. 

“I love you both. Have a good day, make good choices.” 

“Bye daddy! We’ll see you after work!”

***

Evelina London Children’s Hospital is our second home. Of course, as a children’s hospital, we try to make the place as fun as possible as not to freak those little patients out at being ill. It is bright and primary coloured, and each ward is decorated according to its own theme with different colours and lovely artworks. There are televisions and toys almost in every corner. We have a giant slide on the ground floor, and even the bins are shaped like red London buses. The aim was to help the children to forget that they’re in a hospital and take their minds off their sickness.

Since my wife and I are in the same department, our offices are next to each other, both overlooking the Thames. It’s nice up here. Would’ve been nicer if we could sneak in a quickie, but that’s practically impossible with our shared secretary’s desk sitting literally in front of our doors. 

Speak of the devil.

“Good morning. Here’s your tea,” my secretary follows me into my office with a cup of tea and a tiny plate with a couple of rich tea fingers. “Clinic until 3 pm, scheduled PDA ligation in the laboratory for 4 pm and then evening rounds on the wards.”

“Mornin’ Rhonda, you look lovely today,” I greet her cheerily. She’s a stern-looking woman who definitely likes her tea as strong as tits and who has probably never cried in her life. With such severity, she runs a tight ship, but she secretly has this affectionate side in her too. Not only is she a great secretary, but she also takes care of us in a way as a grandma does. She makes us tea, feeds us in between surgeries with biscuits or nice baby cheeses and crackers just so we wouldn’t starve. 

See that sofa over there in the corner of my office? Rhonda got me that. It was around the time when I had just become a new father with the sweetest, most gorgeous little baby who did not sleep. Alma wasn’t a fussy baby though. For some reason, she just wouldn’t go back to sleep after her midnight feed for months. Believe me, I tried everything. I changed her nappy, I swayed and jiggled and rocked and sung her to sleep. Odd nonsensical songs like, ‘Alma darling go to sleeep. Sleepy sleep sleep. Pleeeeease. I’m so tirrrred. My eyeballs may actually exploooode. I don’t want you to see thaaat.’ And she would just look at me all wide-eyed like I’d lost the plot. Those were song lyrics? That was rubbish. Please don’t give up your day job. Also, it’s not sleeping time. I’m awake. I’m ready for life. Come on, entertain me, old man. Isn’t this nice, just you and me? Tell me everything you know. EVERYTHING. 

Except of course she didn’t say all that. She would just stare at me and I had no idea what was going on in her little head. 

I took over my wife’s patients at the hospital during her maternity leave, so I had longer hours at the hospital. One day Rhonda found me napping on the floor between surgeries, so she sweet-talked some porters into looking for any old sofas on the go and paid to have this one reupholstered. She even bought me a fleece throw for it too. We really don’t deserve her.

“You hittin’ on me?” She deadpans. “Yer wife not doing it for you these days?”

“It’s the blazer. I’m a sucker for a blazer.”

“If I’d known, I would’ve worn it more often,” she replies. “Did my nice dress yesterday not give you the fanny flutters?”

“It’s schlong shiver for me,” I roar with laughter. “And it’s the tartan, makes you look well old.”

“YN, yer husband’s a bloody git, did I ever tell you that?” Rhonda says loud enough for my wife to hear, and I can hear my wife’s laughter from her office next door. “Drink your tea. Your first clinic appointment is in twenty.”

“Yes ma’am,” I salute her. 

***

The Arctic ward in the Evelina is home to many of our imaging, heart and kidney services. The name is probably giving it away, but everything is decorated in blue and white to go with the theme. We have several zones, and since paediatric cardiology clinics are held in the Walrus zone, I spend a great deal of time each day looking at walrus and snowflake decals. 

“Doctor Styles!” I hear a little voice shouts in excitement as I walk towards the waiting room in the outpatient ward. I smile, because I recognise that voice even before I see the little person.

The waiting room is very open here compared to other hospitals. There’s a sea of noise, snacks, tiny juice boxes and colouring pages. There’s also always a look of expectation, judgement on the faces of parents and guardians every time I walk in. They want to see if their doctor is old or qualified enough to see their children. There’s always one child who has the whole gang with them; parents, two sets of grandparents and even several aunts and uncles, and there’s also at least one child running around in circles out of boredom. 

This little lad bounces off his chair and hurls himself at me in a way like a little puppy would when its owner comes home from work. I put an arm out, hoping that he’ll apply the brakes but no such luck and he bundles himself into my arms. “Nice to see you, mate.”

His parents smile as they watch their son’s antics, who then runs off as I shake their hands. I turn around to see what caught his attention, and I can’t help but chuckle when I realise it’s my wife. 

“Doctor pretty Styles!” He exclaims excitedly as he bundles himself into her arms. She gets a mouthful of curls in the process. 

“Hi Rory,” she greets him as she runs her fingers through his curly mop. 

“Oi,” I pout as I walk towards them. “You don’t think I’m pretty?”

“Your wife is prettier,” he says with a shrug, his tone matter-of-fact.

She laughs and gives him a high-five. “Rory, you are officially my favourite patient.”

She is right. Rory is one of our special patients for sure. We’ve both known him for about six years now, ever since Rory’s mum gave birth to this tiny human next door at St Thomas and his heart was literally broken. I remember watching proudly from the theatre when my wife replaced two of his valves when he was born. It was in our early years of training. Long time patients like Rory almost always feel like family. We’ve seen all their parents’ tears and watched over their children throughout the years. They send us cards and wine every Christmas and despite all attempts to keep a professional distance, their kids do feel like our own.

Rory shrugs off his dinosaur rucksack and unzips it, pulling out a drawing of a blue whale and an opened packet of KitKat. I like that the whale wears a top hat and appears to also don a moustache. 

“I drew you both a picture. Only one though, because I figure you can share,” he says with a big toothy grin and hands the packet of KitKat to my wife. “And I’ve got half a KitKat here. Do you want it?”

“I’m good for now. Keep that KitKat for later on the tube,” she smiles and waves at Rory as she begins to walk away towards the fetal cardiology ward just down the hall. “Bye Rory, thanks for the picture.”

“Bye doctor pretty Styles,” Rory replies, making my wife laugh as she walks away. I give her a wave and a wink. 

“Hey Rory, did you know a blue whale has a heart the size of a small car?” I ask him and his eyes widen.

“No way! That’s mega!” He exclaims. “Do you think you could operate on a whale heart?”

“I would need a very big ladder,” I tell him. “And a wetsuit. I’d give it a go though.”

A senior nurse from the outpatient ward, Florence approaches us with a junior nurse trailing behind her. “Dr Styles, always a pleasure.”

I smile at her. “Florence. How are we today?”

“Busy as usual,” she replies. “We’re about twenty minutes behind I’m afraid. We had Dr Goodridge in this morning and you know he likes to talk.”

“He always runs over,” I chuckle. “Well, don’t worry. I’ll skip lunch and get us back up to speed.”

“I’ll make sure to send some snacks for you. Here’s your chart, your files are already in your office. And this is Alice, your nurse today. She’s newly qualified so might need some instructions.”

The new nurse looks terrified so I smile at her to try and calm her fears. I totally get that. When you work in medicine, unfortunately, you’ll realise that there are a lot of rude self-important wankers. 

I look down at my chart and find Rory’s name on the top of the list. “Well, look who’s coming with me to the exam room.”

Rory reaches out to hold my hand and we walk towards the examination room. His parents follow us closely, carrying the usual coats and devices that people do when they know they’re bound for a hospital waiting room. I see them inside and sit behind the desk.

“So, young man, I hear we’ve had a touch of drama with you. Can you tell me what happened?”

I’ve actually already got the information in the file, but I like the way this kid tells a story. He reminds me of my youngest. 

“So… I was at school and we were doing PE and I wasn’t really feeling it because it was cold and really we should have been inside but Mr Witter makes us go outside because he used to be in the Army apparently and he says we should get used to the cold but that’s what they do in prisons.”

I smile. “Go on.”

“And then my heart started running.”

“You mean racing?”

He nods firmly. Racing isn’t even the word. It sprinted to the finish like Bolt at 252 beats per minute, three times the speed it should.

“It felt like bubbles in my chest and then the school went crazy panicky and they called the ambulance and they brought me to the hospital but not this one, it was another one and it wasn’t as good because you weren’t there and they had really bad biscuit.”

His mum adds. “And they gave him some drugs to bring it back to a steady rhythm; they were close to shocking him.” Her voice trails off and both parents’ faces look drawn and pale remembering the incident.

Rory looks absolutely unbothered by this. To be fair, we have put this little man through everything. We’ve cut his chest open more times than is necessary for someone so small, we hook him up to machines and put him on treadmills. His resilience and character amaze me, and I really can’t imagine what it feels like to see your child so vulnerable and helpless, to be paralysed and weighed down with such worry.

“Alright then, little man, we need to make sure that your heart is working as it should. This is Alice, and she is going to take you over for an ECG and we just need to make sure your tick-tock is in good shape.”

Rory nods and jumps off the chair. His dad offers him a piggyback, and his mum smiles at them. I can hear Rory offering that half KitKat to Alice as they leave the room. 

His mother turns to me as the door is closed, her shoulders relaxing, allowing herself to breathe. “And how are you?” I ask her.

“You just think it’s done and then something like that comes along to scare you,” she says with a sigh.

“Let’s have these tests and then see if it’s anything major to worry about,” I try to calm her. “Episodes of rapid heartbeat is quite common in Rory’s case, and we can look into drugs to remedy that if necessary.”

She smiles, nodding.

“Did you have any other questions for me?”

She studies my face for a moment too long. “I… well, it will show up in Rory’s records soon, but my husband I are… I mean we’re getting a divorce.”

I pause for a moment. Of course, I know these things happen in life, but I’ve known this couple for years. I’ve seen them at their lowest ebb, bound by friendship and their love for that boy. I really do feel sorry for them.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I mumble.

“We just… we’re terrified about telling Rory.”

“He doesn’t know?” I ask.

She shakes her head. “We’re scared of breaking him. I mean, look at him. All of this stuff he’s been through and he carries on like nothing has happened. We don’t want to upset him.”

“It took a team of us the best part of six years to build Rory’s heart. There's a warranty on that workmanship,” I reassure her. “Have that chat with him. He’ll be fine.”

***

“Have we got time for dinner first?” I turn to my wife as we walk out of the hospital. We don’t normally have the luxury of ending our shift at the same time, but today is exceptional. We have parents’ evening at the girls’ school so Rhonda made sure to clear up our schedule after our evening rounds at the ward. 

“No, but we can raid M&S and eat in the car?”

I’m starving and I almost cry with relief at the suggestion. “Always knew I married the right woman.”

She chuckles. “Damn right you did.”

We leave the car at the hospital and she drags me along the walkways to Waterloo, the breeze biting at our cheeks. I pull her into M&S, dodging the marching commuters and grab a basket. 

“I’ll look for some wine,” she says before she saunters off. “Oh and I want sushi. None of that crap with the mayonnaise please.”

“Alright.”

I skipped lunch today so the whole place calls to me. I start taking very random things off the shelves: a packet of raspberry iced buns. That’ll do. I also take some hummus for my wife because she bloody loves hummus. I’m not even joking, I’ve seen her down a whole pot of it. Then I take some sushi as requested, some coleslaw, a family bag of mature cheddar and red onion crisps and a trifle. I hope I don’t bump into Rhonda. Next are cheese twists, noodle salad and cocktail sausages. 

It takes me a while to notice that there is a man right next to me with a roll of yellow stickers in their back pocket. Hello there, you are one of my favourite people tonight. Have I managed to find that sacred hour when all the food is being marked down? He labels some prawns with dip and even though I get a little squeamish about eating fish near its expiry date, I put it in my basket. I then follow him around the corner. Now, this is dinner. I put all sorts of random food in my basket and smile at the thought.

Ooh, knockdown pizzas. I should get a pizza. That’s tomorrow’s tea sorted, the girls will love it. Although I can’t help but wonder, what’s the limit for us to feed our daughters frozen pizza in a week before they get taken away from us? But eh, we might be able to get away with it if we give them frozen peas on the side. 

“Look at you,” says my wife, depositing two bottles of red in the basket. 

“Yes, it’s me. I’m the yellow sticker bitch.”

She snickers as we turn to head for the tills. “Excellent work.”

***

“Mr and Mrs Styles, welcome.”

“Mrs Ebner, always a pleasure,” I shake the headmistress’ hand who’s standing at the door. 

“Busy evening?” My wife asks her as she shakes her hand next.

“Always,” the headmistress replies with a smile, then proceeds to speak like she’s reading out of brochures. “But such a wonderful opportunity to connect with our parents and build on the special relationships we have with our school community.” 

Two uniformed minions appear.

“Lewis, Maggie, could you please show Mr and Mrs Styles through to the drinks reception?”

They both nod in unison. The boy holds his arms out like a waiter showing us to our table. We follow them through the school’s grand corridors to the main hall. It’s the one thing I like about this place. It’s very Hogwarts-like with hefty engraved name boards and sepia photos of successful sports teams. In the hall, a throng of parents mill around waiting to see respective teachers. It’s the same every year. We all dodge the people from the PTA trying to sell us quiz tickets, and the bowls of crisps out of hygiene concerns.

“Red or white?” Asks a lady in an apron.

This right here is the very reason we get through parents’ evening. From the look of the bottle, it’s decent wine too. I think that’s where a good proportion of our fees is going. 

“Red, please.”

We both take our glasses and walk to the corner of the hall. It’s essentially a holding area without the background music. The idea is that all the parents will get on and create a party vibe but it just becomes a strange family gathering. As terrible as it sounds, it’s sorted into cliques: parents who know each other via NCT groups, the international expat brigades who keep to themselves, the parents who’ve ostracised themselves by gossip, the ones who you know regularly brunch and ski together.

The boy from earlier suddenly appears in front of us. “Mrs Hughes is ready for you.”

I put my hand on the small of my wife’s back as we walk towards the classroom. Fiona’s teacher first and then Alma’s straight after. Right, we can do this.

“Mrs Hughes, we meet again,” I shake her hand. I’ve got no qualms about Mrs Hughes. She’s a seasoned teacher who likes a slack and sensible moccasin and we’re familiar with her since she taught Alma two years previously. When we enter the classroom, Lewis bows in reverence, taking his leave and I wonder whether to tip him. 

“It’s always lovely to have another Styles girl in my classroom. Fiona is a particular delight.”

My wife and I smile proudly. I’m sure Mrs Hughes says this to every parent here about their child, but that’s always nice to hear. 

“She talks a lot about you,” my wife says. “She seems to have settled in well.”

Mrs Hughes opens up a couple of books and it’s classic Fiona. Alma is ordered and neat—if she makes a mistake then she erases it completely and she underlines things with a ruler and listens to instruction carefully. She gets that from her mum. Fiona though, on the other hand, she’s all me. She has more wild abandon about her; no rulers, no rubbers. She puts giant crosses through things that don’t work and likes her bubble writing decorated with doodles of many, many cats.

I glance around the classroom as Mrs Hughes talks to us about standardised scores. The theme of the school is to show you how smart and educated these children are. Look at the copperplate handwriting, their reproductions of Van Gogh and our languages corner where they’ve all had a go at telling us what they like in French. I spy a contribution from my girl. J’adore les chats et le gâteau au chocolat. 

I’ve lost track of the conversation so I try to catch up.

“So to push Fiona into those top scores, perhaps we can look into tutoring? For maths, in particular, so she can grasp some of the concepts a little more tightly,” says Mrs Hughes. 

My wife and I look at each other confused. “Uh, I don’t think there’s a need, right? She’s only five.”

“It’s never too early,” replies Mrs Hughes. “We run an after-school tutoring club on Tuesdays that would help.”

Back when I was a youngster, clubs were fun endeavours that involved matching baseballs caps or were a chocolate biscuit that you had in your lunchbox. Maths tutoring session was not a club.

I ask her. “Is it free?”

“It’s fifteen pounds per session.”

See? My point being this should be a parents’ evening, not a sales session.

“Well, then it’s something to think about,” says my wife. “It could be that Fiona catches up with people throughout the year.”

“Possibly,” Mrs Hughes nods. Still, though, she proceeds to go into her folder and passes me a form. Sneaky. “Fiona has also shown great interest in languages and art. Her pictures have been a joy.”

Mrs Hughes goes to a file and pulls one of Fiona’s drawings. I glance down at it. It’s a standard child piece of art. The grass and sky are strips of colour to the top and bottom. It’s a family portrait, and we are as tall as the broccoli style trees. Wait, hang on a second. I count the number of people in the picture again. Is that-

“And Mrs Styles, I gather congratulations are in order,” she says with a smile. “Such lovely news.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Fiona told me it’s a boy,” she adds, and the sheer terror on my wife’s face at the realisation is priceless. “You must be very thrilled.”

I study the picture. There’s a house in the middle, and standing in a line in front of the house is our family. The one slightly taller than the broccoli tree is me. I’ve got my white lab coat, and I look like a serial killer because I’m holding a scalpel with the size of a butcher’s knife. Next to me is my wife, also with a white lab coat, but instead of a scalpel, she’s holding a very chunky baby who rather looks like a basketball with a head.

“Oh dear,” I chuckle. “Guess now we know what she’ll ask for Christmas.”

“Yeah,” my wife shakes her head. “We’re not expecting.”

“Oh, I apologise,” Mrs Hughes says with a sheepish smile.

“No worries, Mrs Hughes,” I tell her. “So, what else has our girl been up to here? Besides gossiping of course.”

Mrs Hughes laughs under her breath. “Well, in class, Fiona is attentive, bright and very helpful. She is a credit to you both.”

***

“I swear your daughter, Styles.”

We’re sitting in the car now. Finally done with parents’ evening, still laughing at the slightly creepy, chunky basketball baby in Fiona’s picture and the fact that three people, including Mrs Hughes, have congratulated us for the ‘baby’.

“You haven’t called me Styles in years,“ I turn to her with a grin. “Not since medical school.”

I can’t help but flashback to the good ol’ days when we had matching university hoodies and we’d test each other on the parts of a kidney whilst walking into lectures, sitting next to each other, sharing pens and cans of Lilt. 

“Well, after that I became a Styles too,” she chuckles. “Would be confusing then, wouldn’t it?”

“True,” I laugh under my breath, then I grab her hand and pull it to my mouth so I can kiss her knuckles. “Thank you.”

“What for?”

“For being a Styles.”

“Aw, aren’t we soppy tonight?” She smirks. “Alright, stop the car.”

“What?”

“There,” she points to a dark empty spot and I oblige. 

Then, before I can even ask her why, she reaches over and grabs me by the collar. Pulling me close to her and gives me a kiss. I kiss her back, and I smile when she bites gently on my bottom lip.

“Oi, oi. Something’s got you randy.”

The next thing I know, she undoes her seatbelt and then rolls her trousers down her legs along with her knickers, fumbling and giggling at the awkward movement. I push my seat back and pull my trousers down. 

“Don’t fall on gearstick now,” I joke as she climbs over to straddle me. “Well, unless you want to, of course…”

She laughs as she lowers herself over my lap. I really can’t believe what’s happening here.

“Mrs Styles, we’re about to have sex in a car. Around the corner from our daughters’ school.” 

“I know,” she says with a smile before she runs her tongue along my neck. “Not our first rodeo though.”

“Oh right, we did it in our Volvo years ago, didn’t we? Thought the suspension couldn’t take it.”

“And it turned out fine. Told you that you needed to have more faith in the Swedes, they’re a reliable breed.”

“I love it when you talk about Sweden.”

“Ikea.”

“Fuck.”

“Meatballs.”

“Billy Bookcase.”

She throws her head back in laughter and I take this as an opportunity to run my tongue along her collar bone. She gasps. I reach down to lift her before I slowly lower her over my cock. We both sigh as I enter her, a long exhalation with our lips barely touching. 

“Viggo Mortensen.”

“Isn’t he Danish?”

“Tomato, Tomahto.”

I smile at my wife and push my hips up, silently telling her that we don’t need to talk about Swedish people anymore. She grabs onto the car seat and levers herself up and down. I look at her in the eye, a goofy smile still plastered across my face.

But then I squint. Light. Bollocks, what’s that? Where’s that light coming from? Crap, that’s bright. Shit. I see the flash of a hi-vis jacket, a knock at the window and someone shaking their head.

Oh sodding fucking bollocking shit wank.

[monstermoviedean]

dean + ged thoughts under the cut, featuring some of my favorite things: dismantling the american education system, bullying sera gamble, john's journal, and sad dean hours.

the ged. oh my god the ged. look. the students i knew who went for geds instead of traditional diplomas either wanted to get out of high school early because they were miserable, or were coming back after dropping out. and regardless, it was tough. it's time-consuming, it's expensive, and it requires specific knowledge that i'm going to assume was hard to track down in the late 90s/early 00s.

imagine you're dean, you've been to multiple schools a year, you have no consistent foundation for any academic knowledge, and your dad thinks it's all pointless because he just needs you to follow orders. you missed the unit on polynomials in algebra because you were out of school for three weeks helping your dad track some ghouls. one state teaches us history in eighth grade and one teaches it in ninth, and moving between states means you missed parts of each. you've got to find the money to pay for these, find the curriculum to study, and be a resident in the state long enough to take all four tests - not to mention take and pass all four tests. and he did it. he fucking did it!

he's smart! he's so fucking smart! and i say this with two caveats: 1) that intelligence is a white supremacist concept and 2) that the american education system is primarily based on compliance and memorization, not actual skills. but figuring out how to navigate the system, figuring out what he needed to learn, learning it, and passing those tests with all the obstacles he faced. that takes so much.

here's the thing. the ged line comes from gamble and that makes me think it was intended to be a joke about dean being dumb. but i'd argue that getting a ged in his circumstances was much more difficult than getting a traditional diploma. especially with this kicker: john's journal says dean graduated with a traditional diploma, on time. and you might say, arden, you gotta stop talking about john's journal. to which i say: no <3

john's journal, according to the author, is, "if not official canon, then certainly authorized." he wrote it in conversation with kripke and cathryn humphris during season 4. the ged line is from 05x02 (so dean having a diploma predates dean having a ged). and john's journal says unequivocally that dean got a diploma on june 16, 1998 (page 146).

so what does this mean? you might say the journal is just a stupid semi-canon moneygrab and doesn't count. okay. you might say john doesn't know the difference between a diploma and a ged. fair. i say that we have two options: one, dean had gotten his ged much earlier in secret as a contingency plan and faked getting a traditional diploma for john, or two, dean dropped out without telling anyone, faked getting a traditional diploma, and did his ged later (i'd guess stanford era when john let dean go out on his own).

why? i'm guessing john emphasized repeatedly how important it was for his kids to get "normal" diplomas like "normal" kids. and dean didn't want to let him down. hell, john describes dean graduating as "getting one of my boys through school." no credit to dean, of course. i think there could be an issue too of dean knowing he's not supposed to be the "smart one." john calls sam a borderline genius in his entry about dean's graduation and spends way more time talking about sam than dean. maybe it was in dean's advantage to play dumb? maybe sam's?

finally, timing. if he got his ged early, i'd guess it was because he wanted to drop out and help john hunt. he probably went through the whole process, got it, and never told john because john wouldn't have let him drop out. if he got his ged later, i think it was for cassie. maybe he thought if he got the ged he could go be a college kid just like her.

bottom line? i'm so proud of him. i'm so fucking proud of him.

[mggpleasedontlookhere]

home run

request: Spencer Reid and reader go undercover at a baseball game and their really close friends but then they get put on the kiss cam 👉👈

word count: 1,204                                                                                     reading time aprox: 4 mins 30 secs

masterlist

“Did you know that essentially baseball is based on the physics of fluid dynamics, and a pitch produces a turbulent wake of air behind the ball. At which gets deflected depending upon which way the ball rotates. The rotation, actually causes the ball to move across the plate according to the same principles-” Spencer rambles, maneuvering his fingers around to motion to a spherical form rotating on it’s axis. 

“And why would I know that Reid?” I laughed while playfully pushing him to the side, making sure he didn’t fall sideways on the steps we were trudging on. “You know for a guy who knows about the physics of sports, you don’t seem to actually like the sport itself” I criticized, watching Spencer cringe and crinkle his nose. 

“I prefer the sport of chess” He retorted, scanning his eyes over the various crowds of middle age dads, young children, and die hard fans that populated the stands. 

We were working a case here in New York City, comprised of a retired MLB investor who’s been suspected of 4 homicides of past athletes that played for the Mets. 

I scoffed in amusement at the articulation of his words. “Remind me to educate you on being a normal human being after we’re done with this case” I teased whilst profiling the event. The floors of the stadium were tarnished in the sticky residue of spilled soda combined with leftover popcorn kernels. 

“Oh be quiet Y/L/N, you were nowhere close to being normal when we were kids” Spencer commented, referring to my theater phase where I enacted and memorized every line from The Phantom of the Opera. 

Reminiscing on my glory days, I remember compelling Spence to drop his physics textbooks when he was studying for his finals in high school, so that he would recite the entire play with me. “Okay but you were an atrocious Phantom to my Christine” I countered. 

We both laughed at the memories we’ve made together, taking our seats in the process as the game resumed from it’s halftime show. “Our unsub a 35 to 45 year old white male” I reminded him, examining the game in process. “But that’s literally almost everybody in here” I groaned, seeing the lack of diversity in the stands. 

“Yeah, but remember we’re looking for someone in posh clothing with the possibility of being overweight, which matches with the corresponding insecure factor of our unsub” He noted, taking a look at the VIP box that hung just above the top rows of the stadium. “He’s still regarded as a figure of influence so he may be in there” He gestured pointing to the location where many high class individuals usually resided. 

“You may be right, let’s go-” I began my sentence but was abruptly interrupted by the sound of the announcer’s voice broadcasted all over stadium. “Ladies and Gentlemen, I hope everyone’s having an extraordinary time with us-” The man on the speaker said, although I drowned out his words as my focus derived from allocating our suspect in the VIP box. 

The man began announcing advertisements and I took that as an opportunity to leave. “Come on Spence, you go into the room and I’ll-” I instructed while maneuvering out of the stands until a man twice my height and size unexpectedly occupied the seat at the end of the row, impeding my exit strategy. I went up to try and tap the individual to motion for him to leave, but instead he brought his legs up and settled them on the spine of the seat in front of him. 

What a jackass

I reached for my badge that hung on the hemline on my pants when I felt Spencer nudge at me in hesitance. He then pointed up to the big screen on the opposite side of the stadium when I had realized that both of our faces were shown in pixels. Bewilderment flooded my thoughts until I saw ‘Kiss Cam’ in big bright animated letters lay coolly on the screen. 

I gulped, watching Spencer looking at me for answers while he rubbed his hands on the material of his pants. Noticing his panicked state, I waved off the camera, indicating that I didn’t want to be part of the tradition, but was revoked on the choice when the crowd began to chant. 

“KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!” permeated both mine and Spencer’s eardrums making my heart race increase. Spencer continued to look at me in apprehension, dread probably running through that pretty little head of his. 

“Spence, forget them, we don’t have to anyway” I turned around tugging at his arm to walk away from the cameras, but he took his stance. I peered at him in puzzlement, questioning his actions until he practically yanked my arm to where we were chest to chest. 

A red tint had blossomed on the apple of my cheeks as I felt his breath fanning over my face. “Spence I-” I stuttered, not knowing how to go about the situation. 

“Just shh” Spencer reassured. “Can I?” He sweetly asked, staring at my lips as I did so to his. I nodded in affirmation, the warmth shared between us making the small interaction more intimate. With my consent, he leaned down pressing a chaste kiss on lips.   

Kissing him felt like I was jumping on clouds or floating in space with nothing tethered to me. The skin on his lips were soft and supple as he maneuvered them sublimely against my own. Regardless of the short and affection gesture, he lingered after he was finished, placing another kiss on my forehead. 

The kiss cam then traveled to another pair, but time seemed to stop on it’s own as we stood gazing at one another. “I- Spence you didn’t really have to-” I spoke, shaking my head in disbelief at what had occurred. 

“But I wanted to” Spencer professed, cutting me off mid sentence and denying me of the radical accusations I’ve made. 

“You’ve never told me, that you know, you liked me or a-anything. I jus-st thought that you didn’t like me, especially with JJ when we f-first started and then-” I rambled, unable to produce regular sentences without getting my words caught up in each other. 

Spencer reached over, grabbing my chin with his forefinger and thumb to acquire my attention. “I’ve never taken the chance to” He admitted shyly, caressing his thumb over the soft skin of my face. 

His hazel eyes emitted nothing but a loving and genuine gaze that made my heart melt right into his hands. In all the years that I’ve been with him, I’ve never noticed his affection towards me. 

“It’s funny how you’re a profiler and you haven’t been able to figure it out Y/L/N” He taunted, grinning at me while the blush on my cheeks grew exponentially. 

“Shut up Spence, you’re just lucky I even let you kiss me” I retorted, shaking my head at him as we were finally able to surpass the ignorant man wouldn’t let us out of the aisle. 

“Yeah I am lucky aren’t I” He praised, wrapping a firm arm around my waist as we walked towards the VIP box. 

“Damn straight, Dr. Reid” 

-

A/N

woah two imagines in one day, i must be going crazy

btw, i have one more request to write, then i’m going to be writing pt. 2 of ‘It Should’ve Been You’ 

[riverdale-retread]

Riverdale S5 E12 (Jaime/Hiram) - 5 Things I loved/ 3 Things to consider

5 Things I loved

1. The music selections for the Jaime to Hiram transitions were delirious and filled me with joy.  I admit up front I’ve never heard any of these songs before, so if they turn out to be a horrible kind of misappropriation or desecration or something I will feel bad. In any case - Riverdale commits to giving you a dose of the surreal every episode.  The difficulty with doing that in this episode is that  the stories being told in it are unusually straightforward, even staid, for  Riverdale.  So they went to town with the sound track.   

There’s a song  (Demolicion by the band Narco) that sounds like it’s being sung by the Tasmanian Devil from Looney Toons on a bender - it’s just rawararwrarawrar. All these songs about Hiram ‘being bad’ and mentioning the ‘devil’ are so on the nose that the nose gets broken and pushed right into the skull (the title of the song is literally Devil Devil).

2.  I love that Hermione Gomez wears huge 80s glasses that completely overwhelm her little face and yet Jaime hits on her and thinks the world of her.  It helps to have that face, I grant you, but as someone who took the Dorothy Parker quote, Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses, very very personally back in the day, I LOVE that Jaime/Hiram has no such qualms.  Did everyone notice the bust of Nefertiti that’s positioned right behind Hermione the whole time Hiram is successfully asking her out? I did and it cracked me up.

3. I loved that nothing in this story about Jaime Luna makes Hiram Lodge even a little bit sympathetic to me.  Hiram is an out and out villain, and I love that.  I’ve been sick of villain backstory narratives that are like, Bad Things Happened To This Man So We Must Identify With His Homicidal Impulses that keep coming out, but this episode didn’t do that.

a) Hiram is in so many ways a textbook abusive husband, and the only thing that distinguishes him from the more stereotypical abuser is that he doesn’t actually punch his victim (he just shoots at her using other people’s guns).  Abusers blame their victims for ‘causing’ them to commit abuse.   The same is true here. The story that Hiram tells Reggie about his life pretends to be about his father, but is actually all about the fact that it’s Hermione’s fault that he’s a gangster.  She’s the one who likes the fancy clothes and the fancy car, the one who names him Hiram Lodge,  the one who is turned on by Hiram working for gangsters, the one that goes to the gangsters (rather than his father or her mother or any other adult) to get Hiram out of jail.   It’s all her fault and she owes him.  This is in addition to his usual, You’re my wife and I own you.

I am right back to being very worried about Hermione.

b) Hiram pretends to be giving ‘life advice’ about fathers and sons to Reggie.  Hiram has direct knowledge that Marty Mantle is a piece of shit, and that Reggie has a very trouble relationship with him, and that Marty absolutely does not respect Reggie at all whatsoever (“Reggie is a fool.”)   Hiram uses Reggie and then ditches him when he’s done.   Hiram makes Reggie an accessory to murder, which nets nobody anything at this point other than Hiram’s own blood lust - and possibly tying up loose ends because Vito is someone who can correct this yarn that Hiram is spinning about his origin - then breaks his heart.  Marty Mantle is not only a dad who beat his son - he’s a dad that does not ask his son “Where did you get the money” when the son pays off a huge debt to a known criminal, and is only relieved that he’s no longer on the hook.  He also tellingly asks Reggie, “That’s what you got from my story?” indicating that this is a story rather than a testimony. 

4. I loved the very anti-straight men commentary the show keeps sneaking in.  Like, straight marriage is the worst, especially the ones that produce biological offspring, according to Riverdale.  Marty Mantle absolutely despises sex. He’s a guy who sells sexy cars to other guys for a living, and yet he hates talking about getting laid in one. He hates his beautiful sensual son, too, for being sexually successful and comfortable in his body. Both Reggie (described by the gay-bi Fangs as “very straight” even after kissing him) and Hiram (who is basically a Hermione-sexual at this point) have comically fetishistic relationships with cars and shoes, lovingly wiping down these objects at the start of each day.  All the straight men say the word “shame” several times -I’m ashamed of you/ I feel shame/ so ashamed/ shame.

5. I continue to adore “I am not in high school any more” Reggie Mantle.  Growing up to be a slightly sleazy car salesman is the one of the few character developments for Grown Riverdale that both makes sense and isn’t depressing.  Core Four, Cheryl and Polly are all extremely depressing and supportable with logic.  Toni and Fangs make out OK but they were also underdeveloped in the first four seasons. (I am too upset to talk about Sweet Pea).  I was moved by his tearing up while very quietly confronting his father, and I was moved by his boyish attempt at trying to show his new boss that he’s not just the muscle.  Oh and he’s so beautiful, did I say that already?  There’s so much face in Reggie’s face - strong brows, deep set eyes, those cheekbones, that jawline, that MOUTH. 

Three Things to Think About

a. Why is Jughead narrating this?   Jughead is unusually wrong about a lot of things in his opening narration, and I assume this is intentional.  Jughead seems to use the words hero and protagonist interchangeably, and also I guess hasn’t seen Joker because most villains and antiheros also always get their origin stories too. (There’s a theory that what we’re watching is the Betty Cooper serial killer origin story, for example).   Has Jughead not watched “Citizen Kane” because he asks “What is his rosebud?” about Hiram,  BUT WE ARE NOT TOLD.   Jughead sounds jealous of Reggie, frankly, and he’s wrong when he says Hiram collects lost souls.  What OTHER lost souls does Hiram have near him?   And who the heck is S5 Jughead Jones calling LOST?

b. What Reggie really wants to do - and possibly also Hiram - is to wear a suit and carry a briefcase.   It’s just very White Collar Aspirant that isn’t fully explored. Like, how the 50 shades of grey movie was really about sitting in a board room negotiating a contract and having pretty women in suits bring you tea -  that was the erotic highlight of that movie.   We live in capitalism, so getting to use the accoutrement of the Wall St capitalist is the true fantasy.

c.  The point of this episode that the show is making to the viewer is this: A straightforward narrative, where gangsters act like gangsters, and fathers and sons have realistic misunderstandings and conflicts, is something we’re capable of doing.  We just don’t want to. 

[arrowsandbats]

Tim’s Complicated School History

So I’ve noticed there seems to be a fair bit of confusion on where Tim went to high school, whether he dropped out or not, if he went to private or public school, etc., so I thought I’d create a general chronology of (Pre-Flashpoint) Tim’s tumultuous high school career. The confusion about this is deserved, as Tim has literally gone to no less than FIVE high schools and also homeschooled for a bit, so it’s a LOT to keep track of. Tim has attended both private schools and public schools, and has gone to school in Gotham and Bludhaven (and almost Keystone!), ultimately ending his school days when he dropped out of Gotham City High School during his senior year to go search for Bruce after the events of Final Crisis.

Here’s the breakdown:

Pre-High School: Tim attended private boarding schools until he was about 13-14 years old. To my knowledge these schools are never specifically named, but 13-yr-old Tim mentions in Batman #441 that he attends a boarding school just outside Gotham. In Robin III #4 Tim angrily tells his dad that him and Janet “shipped [Tim] from one boarding school to another and nobody paid any attention as long as [his] grades stayed high.” This seems to imply that Tim attended a number of different boarding schools, when there’s really no reason for him to have attended more than two (an elementary and middle school), and even then a number of private boarding schools are actually K-8 (if not K-12) so I don’t know why he attended so many schools?? Nevertheless, from K-8 Tim attended private boarding schools, primarily in the Gotham area presumably.

Tim was probably still in middle school in his earliest appearances (Batman: A Lonely Place of Dying, Batman: Rite of Passage, etc), but he starts high school right around the time he finishes his Robin training (around the time of the first  Robin miniseries).

High School #1---Gotham Heights High School: The first reference to Tim being in high school comes from the 1991 Robin II miniseries. Tim has recently started at Gotham Heights High School as a ninth grader. This comic takes place after Tim’s parents were kidnapped and poisoned, and so while Jack is in the hospital Bruce is acting as a guardian of sorts for Tim. It’s at Gotham Heights that Tim befriends Sebastian Ives, as well as his friends Hudson and Callie Evans. When Ives asks Tim about the fact that he seems too rich for public school, Tim explains that he used to go to private school but that Bruce had him transferred into public school because he thought it would be “more broadening.” Even after Jack gets out of the hospital he allows Tim to stay at Gotham Heights HS, although Jack clearly has a low opinion of public schools. Tim presumably started at Gotham Heights HS at the beginning of the ninth grade and attended for about a year and a half.

Interlude---Keystone: After the events of Cataclysm, Tim’s family moves to Keystone to avoid the chaos going on in Gotham. (They only end up staying a few weeks at the most, but they moved with the intention of living there permanently, meaning that Tim was transferred out of Gotham Heights HS.) In Robin #63 Jack mentions trying to get Tim into Keystone Academy, but that it’s tough in the middle of the school year and that he was working on getting him a tutor in the interim. Tim was supposed to meet his new tutor the same day that he went back to Gotham to be with Steph while she had her baby. He left without telling his dad, and so Jack and Dana come back to Gotham to get him and they all decide to stay in Gotham after all. It’s unclear if Tim returns to Gotham Heights HS briefly or if he just doesn’t return to school until he’s enrolled at Brentwood.

High School #2---Brentwood Academy: After the events of No Man’s Land, Tim is enrolled in Brentwood Academy, a boarding school in Bristol Township (a wealthy suburb directly to the north of Gotham, where the Drakes and the Waynes both live). After missing so much school, Jack forces Tim to go to a boarding school so that his grades will hopefully come up. (I think the reasoning here is that if Tim lives at school then he’ll have no good excuse for missing class?) In Robin #75 Tim refers to himself as a “new sophomore,” and he transferred to the school some time after sophomore year started (almost definitely after winter break, but I can’t find an issue that confirms this?) but before spring break. Tim’s main friends at Brentwood are his first roommate Ali, his second roommate Wesley, and his classmates Buzz, Kip, and Danny. Tim isn’t at Brentwood for very long though. After only a few months (maybe even less) of Tim being at Brentwood, Jack finds out he’s lost a good portion of the Drake family fortune in bad investments. He’s forced to withdraw Tim from school as he can’t afford the tuition anymore, and the Drakes sell their home in Bristol Township and move into their townhouse in inner-city Gotham.

Interlude---Rest of Sophomore Year: When Tim left Brentwood it was rather late in the year, and it was apparently too late to re-enroll him in public school, so he took the rest of the school year off. That summer he has to take a placement test that will keep him from having to repeat the 10th grade. He passes, so when he re-enters public school he does so as a junior.

High School #3---Louis E. Grieve Memorial High School: Tim starts his junior year at Louis E. Grieve Memorial HS, where he quickly befriends Bernard Dowd and Darla Aquista. He doesn’t attend school here very long, probably for about 3-4 months (he’s only been at Grieve Memorial HS for a few weeks when he’s forced to quit being Robin, Steph takes over for about 2 months, and then it’s only another couple weeks until the events of War Games). During War Games, Tim’s friend Darla is targeted by several mobs (because her father is an Italian mob boss) and mobsters take over his school and end up killing several students, Darla included. Darla’s funeral is one of three that Tim has to attend in as many days, his dad being killed during Identity Crisis and Steph “dying” at the end of War Games.

High School #4---John Wayne High School, Bludhaven: After War Games and Identity Crisis, Tim moves to Bludhaven to try for a fresh start. He picked Bludhaven specifically for an in-patient facility that will help his stepmom, Dana, process her grief over Jack’s death. Tim moves to be close to her and starts attending John Wayne High School. He probably only attends for about two weeks though, before he has his (fake) Uncle Eddie withdraw him from the school to start homeschooling. Tim withdraws with the intention of homeschooling until he can test out of school early. But it isn’t long (maybe another month or so) until Infinite Crisis, and then Tim and Dick go on a nearly year-long training journey with Bruce.

Interlude---OYL: During the missing year* between Infinite Crisis and One Year Later, Tim isn’t in school at all, as he and Dick and Bruce are travelling the world and training. 

(*Also, with the nightmare that is comics continuity and the passage of time, Tim really couldn’t have been gone for more than like,,,,6-8 months, as it was late winter/early spring when Infinite Crisis happened---at least according to the Robin series---and it’s summer when he returns to Gotham. He’s still 17 early in the Red Robin series so it couldn’t have been a year and a half that he was gone, therefore he could only have been gone for like half a year.)

High School #5---Gotham City High School: After the OYL time jump, Tim starts attending Gotham City High School. He starts during the “summer session” (presumably to make up for the semester he missed during OYL?) before his senior year. His main friends here are Zoanne Wilkins (who he starts dating), Jared Walton, Craig Pulaski, and then both Ives and Steph transfer to GCHS during Tim’s senior year (altho Steph is usually a year older than Tim in Pre-52 canon, so it really makes no sense for her to be there??). This is the high school Tim is attending when he drops out of school in his senior year to travel the world looking for Bruce. In Red Robin #17, Tim and Ives meet for lunch (after Bruce has returned and Tim has moved back to Gotham) and Ives mentions Tim not finishing senior year. Tim asks Ives how senior year is going---implying that the events of the first arc of Red Robin only take a few months---and catches up on how Ives and Zoanne are doing.

Some general Tim school stuff: Tim is a very smart kid, but not a very good student. In the Robin III miniseries both Jack and Tim’s school counselor make reference to the fact that before high school Tim had always been a straight A student, but that his grades and attendance have slipped considerably. He is routinely too tired to pay attention in class, he’s constantly missing weeks of school, he fails to complete homework assignments bc of Robin missions, etc. Several times he even references in his inner monologue that he thinks he might fail a specific class. And honestly, Tim just doesn’t care about school. He often makes irritable inner-monologue comments about preferring practical application over learning things in a school setting, he tries to get himself out of school permanently when he lives in Bludhaven, etc. That being said, he’s never been noted to actually fail a class and even with all the school he’s missed he’s never had to be held back, so presumably he’s still earning like Cs in most classes.

[ravenadottir]

Hear me out: headcannons about Bobby growing old with mc🥺 (I needed some fluff T-T)

no no no no no, you can’t just come in here and do this to me!! that’s so wholesome! i think i’m gonna have to divide this in decade marks, and maybe stop at the 30 year mark? i can do a part II later. 🤔

‘10 year mark’

the ‘mckenzie’ brand has expanded to restaurants, bars and bakeries all over the uk

the bars are considered a hot spots in the big cities. pictures of young ‘paisley cuddle’ are scattered on the walls, along with the pics from the villa’s parties, to set the theme

the restaurants have bobby and his experiences with famous chefs, like jake ‘sweetcheeks’ wilson, mary berry, gordon ramsey, wolfgang puck.

the bakeries however have the pictures from the time bobby went on the bake off show and won.

there’s small town models of the bakeries/restaurants that are seen as ‘family diners’

you and bobby already have two kids, 4 years apart from each other. in my head bobby is the type to have them earlier so they can live their best life together, have fun in the kitchen or in the backyard playing ball.

he loves throwing birthday parties every year, and of course, baking the cake. to which year is a different theme. “babe, you take care of the decorations and the details i’m definitely gonna forget, and me?” he puffs his chest holding a whisk. “i’m the cake guy.”

bobby is the reason why the kids love the parties so much. he’s the type of parent that goes on the slider with the kids, jumps with them in the bounce house, starts the water balloon wars…

the parents are so thankful for him since he’s pretty much the one who keeps an eye on them at all times.

usually, he’s waking up early every day because it became a habit since his hospital times. he never really shook that habit. so he prepared breakfast, takes the dog out, while you wake the kids up to eat and rush them to school

the dad that takes two different cameras and a phone to film and take pictures during his kids’ public presentations, games, recitals and science fairs “dad, one phone is enough” “yeah, but your dad needs backup! i’m from the 90′s darling. i can’t be any different” he says, shrugging with a grin.

you guys have a small house on the outskirts of glasgow or london, depending on who won the bet you had when you got married.

you’re pregnant again. entirely unplanned and now bobby can’t stop crying,. he always wanted three kids.

‘15 year mark’

a third child came three years ago, which made you consider a much more peaceful place to buy a house. and a bigger one for that matter.

bigger bakyeard means more people and their kids playing around the lawn, as bobby and gary grill sausages, making stupid jokes about it, and you and the girls have drinks shaking your heads.

you and bobby are gary’s kids’ godparents

ibrahim can’t come, he’s to busy making mad money on brand deals. noah is calming the kids down, by reading something in the living room, while bobby shakes a cocktail for the tired parents.

gary gives you a new couple of puppies, because the dog you had has unfortunately passed away. (sorry!)

your first kid is just turning 13 and being a little pain in the ass. but they like their uncles and aunties so they will actually raise their heads from *inser new device that will replace phones*

you guys travel in your car, to spend a week in cabins, fishing, playing ball, having picnics close to the lake

bobby always throws at least one of the kids in the water, before jumping in and splashing everyone. “bet you can’t do better than that, babe…” he says to you, raising his brows suggestively. “watch me, mckenzie.”

summer time and the lake became a tradition since it was the first place you and him spent a holiday alone

the employees that attend to you in hotels refer to you as “the mckenzie’s”

in the city, you have a trustworthy babysitter that will spend the night so you and bobby can have some time alone

he surprises you with dates and flowers out of nowhere

early nights are made for you and bobby to help the kids with homework

at this point, bobby is invited to be a special guest in cooking/baking competitions in the uk

and to have a “masterclass” of hiw own, where he mostly credits you for the idea of expanding, the execution of the administrative plans and how to actually expand a business. “i only do the cooking. she’s the genius behind the money.” he laughs while crossing his legs during his online course.

‘20 year mark’

kids’ sad times. graduations are happening. the youngest is entering third grade, the other one is in uni, far from home. “did you have to choose something so far from your old man?” “dad… of course! how else would i have a ‘paisley cuddle’ phase?” they respond, laughing. “i should’ve never told you thats story! now you’re having ideas!” “relax dad. everything is gonna be fine!” the middle one is entering high school and their rebellious phase.

bobby follows through with his part of the deal when you got married, by wearing something ridiculous to embarrass your kid at their graduation. “dad, you look like a hawaiian drug dealer.” “ i know,” “oh, so it wasn’t dark when you got dressed? mom!” “what can i say, your dad doesn’t care for blacks and blues.” “yeah, right…”

professionaly, bobby has a renowned signature dish, plenty of new ideas for the future, like school and courses.

the house is the same you bought five years ago, but now, it’s mostly parents getting together for barbecues, cocktails, movies and game nights

the younger children stay in the tv room upstairs

‘25 year mark’

your second child didn’t go to uni, and decided to help out on the family business. they always felt like this was the life for them and couldn’t wait to finish school to start.

bobby wanted them to go to school to learn everything they could “but dad, you didn’t, and you know so much.” “oof, they got you there, babe.”

you have a second wedding ceremony and a second honeymoon

bobby has a few grey hairs popping through his dreads

he’s still wearing colorful shirts and girls on social media call him ‘daddy’

he’s been invited to cook for the queen (yes, she’s still alive)

you see your friends a few times more a year now.

your third child is going to uni, to follow a career path you never imagined they would, but you’re proud of them

you decided to sell the house, that’s so big now, and find a smaller one that still has an extra bedroom for when your oldest comes to stay with their partner

bobby cracks dad jokes now, and according to gary, he picked them up from him “sure, gary, ‘cause you’re the only man on the planet who tells dad jokes” “stop bickering! you’re like an old married couple.” you say, slapping their arms playfully

‘30 year mark’

your first child just had their first child

“you’re a grandpa, bobs!” gary slaps him on the back, picking up a box of cigars that they will share with noah and ibrahim.

“can’t believe i’m this old.” “if you’re old, what am i?” you ask him, folding your arms on your chest. “beautiful?” he responds with a clear guilty expression.

‘things that would happen at all times during this entire journey’

bobby would sing to the kids every night

you would read them bedtime stories, taking turns to do the voices

it’s a tradition to cook together on special occasions, no matter what happens. the three kids, you and bobby would always spend the day listening to music, talking about life, slicing, sauteeing, mixing, measuring. it’s a tradition that will never die

when your grandkids come around, they will be the the ones resposible for measuring

drawings that your kids do in school akways have extra colors on bobby’s outfits. his name also has more than three colored letters

bobby has taught your kids how to play the guitar

rainy afternoons were known as “dad’s baking afternoons”

you and bobby had a hard time to find a compromise between being friends and parents.

open conversations with your kids, about everything. they knew what to expect in the world.

bobby’s parents would visit, to spend a whole weekend and share stories of his childhood, as yours would too

family vacation always had a ‘car trip and singing along to the radio’ type of tradition as well

your oldest now takes their child for family vacation in the same spot you and bobby used to

twice a year you guys rent a place for the family to have some bonding, even after they get married (or not)

“your dad is the finest pillow fort architect in the uk”

camping in the backyard when you had to cancel a trip

you’re in charge of coaching and playing sports in the back of the house while bobby relaxes under the sunlight “i was never very athletic”. he’s the empire

*these are the ones on the top of my head. i must’ve left dozens behind :/

[kaylorrehabcenter]

Rating Every Song on Fearless Based on How Gay it is

Hello friends! I still have a few song analyses in the pipeline (and one on Lover the album) but today in honor of Fearless (Taylor’s Edition) being announced and Love Story being released in a few hours I thought I’d do something fun to celebrate!

And you know what? Fuck my usual disclaimer, I am the word of god here. Try and change my mind about any of these. I dare you. (I kid I kid this isn’t that serious and you’re free to disagree <3)

1. Fearless 15/10

Everything about this song is so fucking gay oh my god. This isn’t a fruit, this is a whole ass edible arrangement. As a small rural town Gay (my hometown has a population of less that 4,000 and where I’m living now has a population of 2,500) this uh. Hits.

“And I don't know how it gets better than this/You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless”

Y’ALL

The idea of falling in love with someone who makes you less afraid of your homophobic small town…….it’s getting to me.

“My hands shake, I'm not usually this way but/You pull me in and I'm a little more brave/It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really something/It's fearless”

This is making me emotional, I'll be honest. I see so much of my friends and my experience in high school in this song. 

This quote I found on genius is from when the album was released on BMR’s website.

“When I wrote ‘Fearless,’ I wasn’t dating anyone. I wasn’t even in the beginning stages of dating anybody. I really was all by myself out on tour and I got this idea for a song about the best first date. I think sometimes when you’re writing love songs, you don’t write them about what you’re going through at the moment, you write about what you wish you had. So, this song is about the best first date I haven’t had yet.”

This just screams baby Tay writing gay folklore to me, about the gay stories she wish she had. Notice how there are no pronouns in this song??? Fruity I’m telling you.

All that to say. I’m crying because the linear note says “I loved you before I met you” and I want to go listen to Long Story Short and cry now.

2. Fifteen 1/10

Objectively pretty straight as she’s singing about her and Abigail’s dating boys in HS. And Taylor got with a senior guy. Good for her I suppose.

Unless he was one of the shitty ones in which case.

“This is life before you know who you're gonna be”

This however, is a cute line and the whole song makes me warm and nostalgic. You can also hear her crying after the line “and Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind” which makes me emo and I’m sure will take on new depth after Abigail’s divorce and hurt me even more.

Other highlights that make me sob include.

“When all you wanted was to be wanted/Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now/Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday/But I realized some bigger dreams of mine”

Bigger dreams of hers indeed :’)

(Also how can you say she’s a gold star lesbian when this song exists. She was obviously dating boys in high school and even if you think she’s a lesbian. Comp het is a hell of a drug kids.)

3. Love Story 8/10

Tried to change the ending indeed.

This is THE Taylor Swift song, and maybe it’s the nostalgia talking but damn I still love it. Written because she wanted to change the ending of Romeo and Juliet (how anyone likes RandJ enough to want to rewrite I have no clue.) and/or because her parents didn’t approve of a guy she was seeing. (according to genius, it would’ve been too early for Joe J so it could possibly be Boys Like Girls frontman, his image did clash with hers and they did release some cute songs together. However if you want my take it’s probably folklore about Emily, take for what you will)

This song has very oft gay vibes with the ‘They don’t approve of our love angle!’ but uses male pronouns so points redacted for that. HOWEVER this is a very early use of ~the male perspective~ in Taylor’s songs and for that it deserves all the love.

“ So I sneak out to the garden to see you/We keep quiet, 'cause we're dead if they knew/So close your eyes/Escape this town for a little while”

More rural town angst!!!

Nothing gets me more than rural town angst.

“Romeo, save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel/This love is difficult, but it's real”

Originally the lyric was “this love is different”. Granted I do not remember the source, i’s just lore implanted into my brain, but make of that what you will.

“"Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone/I love you, and that's all I really know/I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress/It's a love story, baby, just say "Yes"”

Marry me Juliet from the male perspective :)

Also worth noting. This is Karlie’s (and Kim K’s lmao) favorite Taylor song which. While basic as hell. Makes this cover sad as hell to this former Kaylor. (thanks @swiftgron-get-married for the tears <3)

Also not to make this about a man AGAIN but the secret message is “Some day I’ll find this” AND SHE DID IM CRYING.

4. Hey Stephen 1/10

The one thing Camilla Cabello and I have in common is loving this song, so I have to live with that for the rest of my life.

This song is very painfully straight.

How can you think this woman is a gold star lesbian.

The only noteworthy thing is that this is one of the few songs she confirms who it’s about. The secret message is “Love and Theft” which is the name of a country music duo who went on to open her Fearless tour. Which, does make me side eye this song a little bit.

Still a cute song.

“Hey Stephen, boy, you might have me believing/I don't always have to be alone”

5. White Horse 1/10

Oh look. It’s track five. 

You know maybe this is just me being a bitch but in my ranking of track fives this is. Pretty low. Maybe on the bottom.

Like I don’t have a lot to say about it. 

She’s going through it over a guy. He was a cheating dickweazel. 

“'Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale/I'm gonna find someone someday/Who might actually treat me well”

“Try and catch me now, oh/It's too late/To catch me now”

These lines hit though!!

And she found Joe!! Who treats her well!!!! And she isn’t the princess, she’s the prince who dropped her sword and knocked on her door!!! But this time if they come for them she’s ready!!!

Yes I will make every song about Long Story Short <3

6. You Belong With Me 5/10

Ah yes. The other THE Taylor Swift song.

You know. If I went to a high school with a cheerleading squad. And I had a crush on a cheerleader. I would blast this song. So for that it gets a 5/10. Otherwise. Fairly straight and fairly iconic.

7. Breathe 8/10

Well. We know this one is about a woman. (Emily Poe for those not in the know. Ha. A rhyme!) That alone has an 8/10. And it’s the first time she has a featured artist so bonus points for that!

It was nominated for a Grammy and it fucking lost to Jason Mraz. When’s the last time you thought about Jason Mraz.

I will not have Kaylor feels on a fucking Fearless song but damn is it VERY easy.

“Never a clean break, no one here to save me/You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand”

“It's 2 A.M, feeling like I just lost a friend/Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me”

Also this bridge? Goes off. HIGHLY underrated. 

8. Tell Me Why 3/10

You know. Maybe this album isn’t as gay as I once thought.

This song does bop though, not as good as her other angry songs on this album. But I can vibe with this you know. Why are you being an asshole mysterious man.

“You could write a book on how to ruin someone's perfect day”

This has to be one of baby Tay’s best burns. Damn. 

“Why do you have to make me feel small/So you can feel whole inside?/Why do you have to put down my dreams/So you're the only thing on my mind?”

Men ain’t shit kids. However, bonus points for the shade. 

9. You’re not Sorry 1/10

Ok, ok. Maybe this was a foolish endeavor.

Because yet again we have a very straight song. A good song. That was on Taylor’s episode of CSI. But oh dear. Very straight. Gets a measly one point. We started this post off so very very gay but damn. We seem to be nearing the end on a very straight note.

10. The Way I Loved You 20/10

Hey Remember what I said about this album being very straight.

WELL THAT WAS A LIE.

Is this a comphet album or am I projecting.

This is one of my favorite baby gay Taylor songs. Her masterful use of pronouns (he is sensible! And so incredible! And all my single friends are jealous! But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain, when it was two am and I was cursing your name!) makes the other person she’s singing about completely vague, while we know she isn’t happy with whichever guy she’s dating.

Mayhaps an early reaction to PRomances?

Either way this song is so good, truly an underrated gay gem I mean. Look at it.

“Breaking down and coming undone/It's a roller coaster kind of rush/And I never knew I could feel that much/And that's the way I loved you”

AND THE BRIDGE. Do all of her gay songs just have kickass bridges?

“He can't see the smile I'm faking/And my heart's not breaking/'Cause I'm not feeling anything at all/And you were wild and crazy/Just so frustrating/Intoxicating, complicated/Got away by some mistake and now…”

Damn. I’m imaging this with 2020 vocals and fucking ascending.

Also please watch the live performance of it from the Fearless tour. It’s such a damn shame this got cut from the movie and some woman in the front row is wearing a cowboy hat. Everyone is holding up those cameras everyone had to have before smartphones. Taylor is being endearing. It’s a good time.

11. Forever and Always 6/10

Bonus points for the ~drama~ of it all. Added last minute to the album? The iconic throwing of the chair in live performances?? All of it very dramatique and for that we stan.

Still pretty straight.

Also Joe Jonas responded to the song and why do I find his response so damn funny. “It’s part of being a musician, I guess. You write songs about each other.”

This is another song where the idea of Taylor’s grown up vocals on this is………..whew

12. The Best Day 0/10

This gets zero points because it’s about her literal mom.

Still makes me cry.

God bless Andrea Swift indeed

13. Change 13/10

We start the official tracklist with a gay song. We end it with a gay song.

We will ignore that it was originally written for Scott and BMR and instead induct it into the hall of gay pride anthems, as it should be. 

“We're getting stronger now, finding things they never found/They might be bigger but we're faster and never scared/You can walk away, say we don't need this/But there's something in your eyes says we can beat this”

“This revolution, the time will come/For us to finally win/And we'll sing hallelujah, we'll sing hallelujah”

The music video is cringe though lol

14. Jump then Fall 10/10

This song is gay because I choose it to be. <3

Like. Picture baby Taylor writing this song and playing it on her guitar to a girl she has a crush on telling her that she’ll protect her and they’ll be safe and in love and happy together. Gah, maybe I’m ~projecting~ but this sweet ass song always gets me and is EASILY in my top five Taylor songs. Super underrated and hecking cute. 

“We're on the phone and without a warning/I realize your laugh is the best sound/I have ever heard”

Like. Look at this shit.

“I watch you talk, you didn't notice/I hear the words but all I can think is/We should be together”

Tell me this is about the first time you get a crush on a girl and she’s your best friend and she’s amazing and beautiful and you realize you kinda want to kiss her and you hope she wants to kiss you too.

“I had time to think it oh, over/And all I can say is come closer/Take a deep breath and jump then fall into me”

And she’s the Romeo who's going to protect her!!!!! She’s the knight in shining armor in this song and I love that for her??

“The bottom's gonna drop out from under our feet/I'll catch you, I'll catch you/When people say things that bring you to your knees/I'll catch you/The time is gonna come when you're so mad you could cry/But I'll hold you through the night until you smile”

I won’t divulge into full on analysis here because. This is what this post is about but PLEASE listen to this song more. It’s such a gay little gem.

15. Untouchable 9/10

How does she make a cover sound gay.

It sounds so gay.

“You got to come on, come on, say that we'll be together/Come on, come on, little taste of heaven”

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

16. Forever and Always Piano Version 1/10

This song gets 1/10 because I don’t like it. There. I said it.

17. Come in With the Rain 3/10

I can see why this is a bonus track. It doesn’t hit me as much as the other songs on the album.

But damn if I don’t want to scream sing this one driving down a high way.

18. Superstar 7/10

You can’t tell me this song is about a man. I simply won’t entertain the idea.

You cannot prove to me that this song is about a man. There is not a male pronoun in sight. 

>:)

19. The Other Side of the Door 6/10

Is this song about having a fight about being in the closet? Probably not. Will my gay little brain make it about that? Yep!

And that, funky little queer pals, is my gay rating of every Fearless song. Like and subscribe, #t3atmidnight

[tinyboxxtink]

Helpless *Part 4*

Well, this is where I decided to go! LoL. Let me know what ya’ll think....

Masterlist

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 5

@wanniiieeee

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@dumauier

@word-scribbless

“Why am I like this?!” You yelled to no one in particular in the kitchen.

“The doctors can’t explain it,” Arianna came from behind you, giving you a wink.

“Ha, Ha ha.” You laughed sarcastically. “Seriously, I did it AGAIN,”

“Your little ‘Rain Man’ routine? Aw honey…” Ari made a fake pout face, rubbing your shoulder like a child. “Did you find out anything useful?”

“Useful….?” Your panic attack of the moment was quickly replaced with questioning.

“Well, yeah. Honey if you’re gonna hook him you need a way in,” Ari dropped off her dirty dishes and grabbed a rag, acting completely nonchalant. You blinked several times, making sure you heard her right. When she looked to you for a response, you knew you had.

“A-Are you serious Arianna?!” You screeched a little too loudly, she pulled you into her bosom in  a corner of the kitchen.

“Are you serious?!” You whispered this time. “We haven’t done that since high school, when we were living in that car!”

“Right, and unless you wanna go BACK to living in that car, we’re gonna need a...helping hand,” She nodded towards the front.

“I-I can’t believe this, is THIS why you pushed this?! Was this your plan this entire time?”

“No! Of course not! I really think the little obsession you have with him is….endearing,” she put a hand to your face, but you slapped it away.

“But when I googled him last night, I figured-- I mean, why don’t we both get something out of it?” She shrugged.

“Wha--We-I--...” your brain was running faster than you could process words.

“Look what’s the big deal? You get to sleep with him, care about him, blah blah blah--  all I’m asking you to do is find a crack in that armor,”

“So you can exploit it,” you added coldly.

“Exploit’s such a dirty word Y/N, come on All I do is do some research, dig some skeletons out the closet. If they don’t want them to get out, all they have to do is, I don’t know, throw us a few thousand dollars, and boom! We’re set for another few months!”

“Except that I actually like him, Arianna. He’s a good guy, he doesn’t deserve--”

“Well if he’s such a good guy, then you won’t find anything right?”

“I...yeah, well--”

“He’s still a politician, sweetie. Don’t let the dimples fool you,” She chuckled.

“Look, I hate to rain on your little fairy tale babe I really do, but we need this,” She took your hands in hers.

“Do you remember how hard it was for us when we moved here? Not eating for days? Taking turns sleeping so no one would break into the car? Not SHOWERING?” She shook you.

“YES, okay? Yes, I get it. We need this,” you sighed.

“We need this,” she repeated, putting a finger in your face.

“ORDER UP! Y/N!!” The cook called you for Rafael’s meal.

“I--That’s his, I gotta go,” You moved past her and grabbed the plate with a towel and walked out.

---

Rafael was reading his phone when you came back and placed the steaming plate in front of him.

“Thanks,” He said half heartedly, not looking up from his phone. Well Arianna would be sorely disappointed that you’ve already fucked this up before you knew what you were doing.

“Well don’t eat it all at once,” You tried joking, failing miserably. Who said that?

Rafael glanced up at you, then the food, then you, then his phone with a chuckle as he put it away.

“You gonna make me eat alone?” he grabbed a fork and stuck it in the pasta.

“...I’m working,”

“I won’t tell if you won’t,” he winked.

You were starving, you had forgotten to eat before your shift. And the chicken parmesan looked delicious. You grabbed a fork from underneath the bar and after looking around, took a quick bite off Rafael’s plate.

“Mmmm….” you closed your eyes and licked your lips; their food was absolutely delicious, and your stingy ass boss never let you have any free meals. Finally you looked to see Rafael just beaming at you.  

“What?” you scrunched your nose.

“You make these cute little noises when you eat. Like you're savoring every bite,”

“Oh my god…” You instantly swallowed the food and put the fork down.

“No no no! It’s adorable,” he assured you.

“...Well that’s what happens when you’re used to going days without food,” you replied with an embarrassed smile. “You learn to appreciate food,”

“I hear that,” Rafael nodded, continuing to eat.

“Right...the barrio,” you looked to the sky, as if whoever up there was going to absolve you of anything.

“That must’ve been really hard,” you placed your hand over the one he wasn’t using to eat, giving him the softest eyes and a comforting smile.

“I thought we were past that, camarera,” He raised an eyebrow at you.

“Right. Yeah,” You moved your hand and turned away from him, cursing at yourself silently. Arianna was wrong about this, he was too smart. Even if you WANTED to manipulate something out of him, he made you too nervous. He could see through you. Still, the thought of going without food was too scary to ignore.

“I just thought, it was nice to finally find a guy that got what it was like growing up with nothing,” you turned back to him with a sad shrug.

“You know most of the people that come in here are full of money. Always have been, always will be. Then they procreate and give their money to their spoiled little offspring who just grow up and spend it and continue the bourgeois cycle. The rich get richer, and hood rats like us just run around trying to grab the scraps they drop on the floor,” You gestured around the restaurant angrily as you talked.

"Hey, this hood rat did pretty damn good for himself, thank you," Rafael said between mouthfuls of food.

"Right. Well, let me know how that goes for you," you rolled your eyes.

"Hey," He swallowed, "If I can do it, anyone can. Believe me," looked at you with those puppy dog eyes of his.

"Right, sure," you replied sarcastically with a laugh.

"I'm serious!" This time he reached for your hand underneath the bar.

"What about your voo--science?" he asked earnestly.

"What about it?" you raised an eyebrow.

"What if I could do something about it?" He asked, sincerely. Oh God, he was being so sweet.

"B-But I didn't win the game, we're tied," You pointed out, making him sit back and chuckle.

"....So we are," he licked his lips with a smirk.

"Alright then, ask me one more. But NOTHING about family, comprende?"

"Fine by me, I've got one already," you smirked.

"Hit me,"

"Do you want to sleep with Liv?"

His smiled faded to a shocked stare. You saw the thought of lying go through his mind, but apparently he was learning. There was no point in lying, you'd call him out either way.

"...Yes," He finally replied, looking down at the floor for a microsecond. He definitely did not want you to know that.

"But look-- we're better as friends. I know that, she knows that. We've just been friends for such a long time, and we just have chemistry. But nothing will ever happen, I swear," It was like watching yourself, the words just kept tumbling out of him. Finally, he stopped at looked you in the eyes.

"Happy now?" he shook his head, taking a gulp of his scotch.

"Hey I didn't ask for an explanation counselor, you provided that on your own accord," you put your hands up and giggled.

"I--You..." He went over the conversation in his head, realizing only just now you hadn't actually asked to elaborate.

"....You make me nervous," He shook his head with a smile, looking down at his food. His cheeks were the just the faintest shade of pink.

"You are right about one thing though," he spoke without looking up from the floor.

"What's that?"

"It's nice to talk to someone who knows what it's like to not know where your next meal is coming from, or if the next beating is gonna be the one that kills you--" He stopped mid sentence, the pink draining from his face. Actually ALL color for that matter drained from his face. Your eyes went wide, your own face feeling pale.

You hadn't braced yourself for that one, that's for sure. You thought maybe his dad took off on him when he was a kid, maybe he was an alcoholic who would come home drunk every night. Maybe a gambling problem. Not...that.

"I--I didn't mean..." Rafael barely coughed out, his eyes still wide with shock and confusion. How in the FUCK did he let that slip? He would absolutely never even mention things about his dad, let alone make a flippant comment about him. You made him nervous sure, but this was something else. He felt too comfortable around you, too safe. And he wasn't entirely sure he liked that.

"I...I need....I'll be back," He stammered, clearly freaked out. He stumbled off the bar stool and made a bee line to the bathroom.

Arianna took this moment to come out and check on you.

"Well now, did I miss something or were you the one making him nervous?" She giggled but you glared right back at her. "What?"

"I-I can't believe you made me do that!"

"I didn't make you do anything!"

"You--You got in my head, Ari. I lead him, I stroked his hand, I did everything to make him let his guard down, and I didn't even MEAN to do it!" You tried to keep a low voice but you were in moral turmoil right now.

"Babe, you need to learn to embrace this superpower," she took you by the shoulders once again. "You have this way of...enchanting people,"

"Now who's making it sound like magic?" you rolled your eyes.

"Ok for lack of a better word, hypnotizing? Better? People just TELL you things, unprompted. I don't know what it is about you. Your whole cute little "door mouse" demeanor, those big doe eyes. Whatever it is, you charm secrets out of people like snakes. That's why we're friends!" She giggled, but stopped when you made a look of disgust. Did she really just say that?

"I mean, that's one of the reasons we're friends. Not the main one, definitely not," she shook her head, assuring you the best she could.

"But I don't like doing it!!!" You stomped your foot, tears in your eyes. You hated doing it, you hated it. Your "door mouse" demeanor was really genuine, you hated hurting people. But Ari made you do it; and you let her.

"With great power, comes great responsiblity," Ari said in a bold voice, ignoring your eye roll.

"Look if I could do it you KNOW I'd be all over that. But you've got the silver tongue, so I gotta handle the silver,"  She winked, giving you a small hug, like that would make you feel any better. After a moment, she pulled back and gestured to the bathroom.

"So what crawled up his butt?"

"His dad used to beat him," You said it without thinking, instantly slapping your hands over you and hating yourself for just giving her what she wanted.

"OOOH!! Daddy issues, my favorite," she giggled, clapping her hands together.

"ARI, SERIOUSLY. STOP," "This isn't a game, this is people's lives!" The angry tears lining your eyes threatened to drop any second.

"YES, it is. It's our lives, that you need to save. Let the fancy abogado cry about his daddy for a minute, then suggest you go home and make it better," She told you in a completely serious tone and face.

"And do it FAST, we're closing soon," She warned, going to the back as you saw Rafael coming back from the bathroom.

Were you really gonna let her make you destroy someone you actually cared about....again?

[lalis-fandom-stuff]

Original twins headcanons

I'm finally making this after months. Here's some random facts from my fic. Let's go.

Ok mostly they're opposites in everything (very predictable, I know). Rafal dresses like a royal, Rhian has an infinite amount of copies of the same outfit like a cartoon character. Rafal is charming and good at speeches and all that jazz, Rhian doesn't want to be percieved. Rafal is a Light Yagami kinnie, Rhian has 0 self esteem. Rafal is an absolute monster, Rhian is a literal angel. You get the drill. One thing that they do have in common is that they're both introverts.

They're left handed. It's not relevant, I just accidentally made them left handed in a drawing and now I decided it's canon.

Random Rhian facts: he's your typical Hufflepuff. He has a pretty smile. He hates responsabilities and talking to stranger. He likes walking in the woods. He deserved better. I miss him a lot (and I make him suffer in every chapter even tho he's my favourite character).

Rhian is the only valid straight person in sge sorry I don't make the rules 😔✋🏻. I think I accidentally made Rafal aromantic. I sincerely apologize to all my aro followers for that.

According to Personality Databes, Rafal's MBTI type is INTJ. I decided that Rhian is INFP because I kin him.

As I said in a previous post, Rhian is a cottagecore king and Rafal is too much into dark royalcore. Uhm. Interesting contrast.

Rhian's talent is ice magic (because their dad is related to the Snow Queen) and Rafal's is controlling shadows (Shadow!Rafal canon ✨).

They actually became school masters a short time after their third year (does that count as a fourth year quest?!). The reasons why they put two litteral 18 year olds on charge of protecting the most important entity in the woods? 1. They're two twins from different schools, therefore a perfect symbol of balance between Good and Evil (wich was very needed in that time period). 2. They're some of the best students from that year. 3. The previous School Master died suddenly (... long story) and they were really desperate to find a new one. 4. Their dad is famous and no one wants to upset him. 5. "They're siblings!! They should get along!!! Right?!" (And then they didn't).

Rhian didn't even want to be a School Master, one day Rafal basically went "Hey I know you want to live in a cottage with your gf and shit but I wanna become the School Master very badly and they probably won't let me without you" and Rhian was like "😀?!?!? Ok I guess?!?!!!!" (Spoiler: it was a terrible idea).

Pretty irrelevant but young Rafal wears a shitton of rings because I think they're cool. Later on he gets into gloves (because they give creepy vibes and also for sad edgy reasons).

Their mother (Ingrid, name stolen from @tedros-is-helpless ) is a former Ever and their father (mr Isa Mistral, that fucking bastard) is a Never. Wich creates a lot of drama, even tho Isa doesn't live with them.

Rafal is good at seeing people's true natures (=mostly if they're Evers or Nevers) and Rhian is good at understanding other people's emotions. Except that they use these qualities in the worst way possible. So yeah my first hot take from today are "Rafal has some sort of emotional intelligence but he only uses it for evil".

Rhian is generally better at magic and Rafal is furios about it, even tho he doesn't show it.

Rafal really gets into weapons (especially very fancy daggers that can conveniently be hidden in your sleeve to kill your brother).

No but they were actually very close when they where little, but they broke apart a little bit when they started school. Rhian kinda hoped that becoming the school masters would solve everything, but as you might expect it got really shitty real quick (and it was Rafal's fault, as always. He's gross).

My secon hot take is "the only person Rafal ever loved was Rhian and deep down he regrettes killing him". And he knew that Rhian cared about him but he simply decided to ignore it and pursue power instead. (Also his idea of "caring" is "I want him by my side and I don't want him dead" and not "I want him to be happy").

Rafal felt like he could only be truly himself with Rhian, wich either means "snarky edgy teen" or "manipulative and controlling monster that only cares about himself" depending on the context. Basically he's only nice to important people and he's passive aggressive.

Rhian is only twenty-something when he dies and that breaks me (even tho I wrote it). Also he always tried to justify Rafal's actions because he didn't want to lose him and, even tho he eventually had to put the School's safety first, he loved him until the very end. Maybe it doesn't hit you as hard described like this, but it definetly hit me hard a worring amount of times a day.

So yeah. Here's what, as the kids say, lived into my mind rent free for the last year. I wrote most of this at 1 am and it shows. Please like it.

[sorio99]

Deltarune Chapter 2: Live Thoughts

So, since the new chapter of Deltarune came out, I've played it all the way through, so, here are my thoughts as I had them. Basically a live-blog, but, not live anymore, I wrote these in my notes app before.

NOTE: Obviously there are going to be ALL THE SPOILERS for Deltarune Chapter 2 in this, as well as Chapter 1. Reader discretion is advised.

Wow, okay, so I was wrong about it being immediately explained.

Various descriptions have changed, and I’m not sure if it’s because of the change to a new game, or the one to a new chapter.

I feel like Berdly is definitely a m’lady guy.

Okay, so, we’re not skipping class this time.

I really wish we could call Toriel and tell her we’re gonna be late again, but I couldn’t see an option for that. Maybe Kris told her on the ride to school.

Okay, so, Noelle is definitely adorable, and a huge lesbian.

Susie seems lovestruck too, kinda.

SHE HAD CHALK, AND SHE DIDN’T TELL ALPHYS BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT SHE AND SUSIE COULD GO GET IT TOGETHER OH MY GOD

Okay, honestly wasn’t expecting the closet to work again.

Fricking LOVE the new transition.

Okay, so, Ralsei knows about, the real world? How, why, and what?

Oh, that, makes, a little sense? But also, if we hadn’t brought the toys over to the closet then, would they all be, dead?

AND WHAT IS RALSEI IN THIS CONTEXT?!?!

Okay, but I love the new town.

Holy shit, save points have storage, AND a spare list? Hell yeah.

So, we’re all level 2 now. I guess they moved from EXP based (or, execution point based?) to Milestone.

Love the basement for bad guys, with K. Round standing guard.

Bitch said “Child abusers live in Hamster Cage”.

Wait, he uses the hamster wheel?

I don’t know if I believe the king about his “bluff” or not. I think not, but, I don’t know.

I can see the “Susie moves to Ralsei’s castle to escape her abusive home” fic already.

RALSEI GAVE KRIS A TRASHCAN, AND SAID IT WAS FOR THE MANUAL IF HE GIVES US ANOTHER ONE OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY MY SWEET FLUFFY BOY

And of course, the moss call-back.

Oh god, Susie just said “My own room, huh.” and my heart is ready to shatter.

This girl has one actual food item in her fridge, and it’s just salsa

Oh, scratch that, there’s ice, crumbs, and jawbreakers in there too?

Oh, okay, Ralsei did give her actual food.

Entering Lancer’s room gives the cartoon Splat sound effect from Chapter 1, and his bedroom is identical to Chapter 1.

Perfect.

And the sound effect, plays in reverse when leaving? Okay.

So, explore until we’re ready to leave, huh? Seems, suspicious.

Oh my god, I just realized, the LightCandy is literally the chalk Noelle gave Susie. What the fuck.

So, for giving the Top back his cake, we get regenerating SpinCake that heals everyone for 140. Nice.

Battle challenges, huh? This should be interesting.

So, we can get a ClubsSandwich, $100, or…Jigsaw Joe’s entire life savings. Okay.

Aw, Clover has separate heads in their dialogue box!

Just realized this “dojo” also has their bed. Odd.

Alright, let’s take these challenges!

Oh, so if we act with Kris, than spare with Ralsei or Susie…got it!

He has a mercy meter. There’s a mercy meter now. I love this.

Oh, of course his life savings is exactly one dollar.

I can already tell the Graze challenges are gonna be the biggest bitches.

Okay, so, being able to rematch bosses, with different gimmicks and attacks, but based on the same logic? Always amazing.

I love the little cut-ins from the other characters with certain lines, like Susie and Lancer revealing “for a price” means zero dollars.

“Cookie and Wife”?

The Blacksmith runs a bakery where he can fuse items…okay.

Imma get a Silver Card.

What the fuck, Mr. Society?

Okay, so, we’re “leaving” through the way we came in, so “surely” we’re going back “home” to the “real world” and our “family”. Sure.

LANCER was added to your key items.

Oh was he now?

And so was Rouxls, “even though no one wanted that.”

Oh, we, actually went back to the light world. Huh. Actually wasn’t expecting that.

Jack of Spades, and the Rules Card. Makes sense.

Still LV 1 here, thankfully. No murder yet.

Okay, thankfully I can call Toriel now.

…Undyne, what the fuck?

Also? This, car horn music, I guess? Is, um…interesting.

Oh, the, computer lab. Where Toby was in Chapter 1. Okay. Makes sense.

“Guess this means we can’t start our project.” I’d say the biggest obstacle is more that we have no clue what the hell this project is supposed to be.

Hmm, we could use the computer at my house, or we could have a fun Toby Fox adventure…

My house!

I knew Susie wouldn’t allow it, also, you always wanna jump in big pits? That’s, worrying.

Computer lab time!

So, computer themed, maybe?

Rouxls jumped out, apparently. According to Lancer.

Okay, this build up is creepy, where’s the fluffy boy?!

Who is SHE?!

Was

Was that Noelle’s chatter sound?

Asking for help?

OH MY GOD

ITS THE REINDEER LESBIAN

SHES BEEN TAKEN

NOOOO

And, I suppose, this must be, our queen.

Q5U4EX7YY2E9N. Sure. I’ll stick with Queen, yeah.

Oh, she’s a computer! That…that’s probably not, great?

Oh, those plugs are bad, brainwashers. Okay.

Okay, they’re both tired…but Ralsei isn’t here. Fuck.

Aiming at moving targets is hard.

2 Werewires spared, only 4 to go, I guess!

RALSEI IS BACK, YAY!

Fun Gang, back together, working to save Susie’s soon-to-be-girlfriend!

Rhythm game to start a new bumping song. Nice.

Might live blog less from here, since, you know, the game is starting proper.

God, I love Deltarune’s look and sound, it’s so clean? And expressive, and AAAGH, I just love it!

I love angry Ralsei.

First lose control laughing moment: Kris and Susie squishing Ralsei like a toothpaste tube, to play an arcade game.

Did, did I just play Punch-Out inside an Undertale?

Curing computer viruses with Syringes…sure.

Sweet is the rhythm guy! Nice to meet you, Sweet! You and Toby are great at this music thing.

Hey, Susie can act now! Awesome!

Ralsei too, because of bullying! Yay!

Now the whole gang’s dancing!

(This is where I took my first real break, to process stuff and relax, and also to sleep)

In between thought: it’s kinda interesting that, in Chapter 1, Susie basically had to be forced to care about Kris, Ralsei, and Susie, but as soon as Noelle is in the slightest bit of danger, she’s immediately like, “We have to save her or die trying”, huh?

“Reverse diss-tracks, where the vocalist puts themselves down and praises Queen…or noise music.” That’s some, interesting taste in music.

“All our songs are only 4 seconds long!” Damn, so you’re, like, Vine musicians?

So, the Knight is opening alternate fountains, that create dark worlds out of, more mundane places? Interesting…

So, someone new is leading the rebels. This, can’t go well.

Smorgasbord 2.

Oooh, a TP raising Item! Nice!

Oh, the guy who was already working for Queen is a Werewire now. Okay.

66 up arrows. Hmmm, I wonder if I can retry at some point…

Oh boy. Here’s the queens…wait what?

Oh my god.

Go kart time.

Noelle, you traitor! How could you!

Oh, okay. Berdly I believe more.

Also, “beloved”.

I love how Queen apparently didn’t even ask him.

“Light Nerds” Good one, Queen.

That’s one weird Check for Berdly.

Berdly, for God’s sakes, Noelle is a lesbian, you idiot.

You know, given this villain rant, I think I hate Berdly more than I do King. And I’ve dealt with both bullies AND abusive dads.

Oh god, Roller Coaster Tycoon murder (also Berdly is dead)

Garbage! Saved by it again.

Oh, this place looks glitchy.

Also, Susie, you’re not the king of the trash pile. You’re QUEEN of the trash pile.

Oh god, please don’t tell me she’s dying.

Okay, good, she just needed fluffy boy hug.

Fork in the path, advantageous to split up, huh? But there’s three of us, and, two paths probably.

Okay, I can either go with the Fluffy boy who might secretly be evil, or the mean girl who might get lesbian scenes…hmmm…

I’m flipping a coin.

Okay, Ralsei it is!

Oh, Susie is upset at me getting to pick.

Oh, they’re going together.

Oh, this can’t be good.

If I had a nickel for every indie game with a cat themed metropolis on my pc, I’d have two nickels. You can finish the meme.

I swear I just saw Noelle on the right. Something big in the streets, hmmmm…

Okay, definitely saw Noelle that time. Shame the Poppups, popped up.

…I get it, Toby, but I’m still mad.

Blocked 10 ads…okay, I still love this game.

God, I’m already missing my party members.

Okay, so I still have Lancer, but, I’m really hoping Noelle listens to reason, because Lancer is, not.

Oh god no, don’t fight me now Queen. And please don’t join me.

Alright, nobody likes Berdly. Figured.

God they’re so dumb.

“G-got any room for another truce?” Noelle, I would do a No Mercy run for you, of course I’m going to help you.

I can’t believe “No Triple Trucies” is even an option.

Yay! Noelle in party!

“LV1 Snowcaster. Might be able to use some cool moves.” She’s got Heal Prayer, a more powerful (but more expensive) Pacify, and a damaging Ice move for only 16% TP.

I love her.

I don’t know what a sugarplum is myself, actually.

Noelle, you have a one track mind, and I like it.

Lancer, she’s not a cream, and we’re not making her a bad guy.

Oh, and she’s scared of mice, I love it!

Ah, she’s never been in battle before, let’s see how this goes.

See? That wasn’t so bad, Noelle.

Oh, she’s a natural!

“Needles aren’t scary…” Tell that to anyone under 20, Noelle.

Also, “subtle” pro-Vax message?

Oh my god, I just love her animations.

So, the virus and the syringe are fighting…hm…

Okay, so, first, Noelle’s defend animation, also perfect.

Second, so Ambyu-lance’s bullets block and destroy Virovirokun’s…hmm…

Have I mentioned how much I love Noelle? This funky little Christmas Lesbian can do no wrong.

Oh my god, she can’t even confidently say we’re friends, and hearing Kris say it makes her happy, I love her so much.

Okay, so, Queen drinks Battery Acid. Makes sense for a computer.

Kris is so done with this shit, I can tell.

I am both scared of and loving Queen.

Oh Jesus Christ Berdly what the fuck is that.

That is not greatness that is…I don’t know. I’m pretty sure even tumblr isn’t horny for you, Berdly.

Christ, he’s gonna break Queen by being an idiot and then he’ll be the Chapter boss.

Her eyes say lying. Of course.

“I Did Not Know You Had… Nipples” that’s, a good point.

…Berdly, you disturb me.

Second lost control laughing moment: Noelle’s cardboard robot face, and Queen just saying “Wow Cool Face”

Lancer, what is the “illusory nipple technique”?

Oh, of course the music bots built the statue. Berdly would never do manual labor.

Oh, and, they built the next “big” thing…hmmmm…

Why are we, flavors of tea???

Okay, that should be all the werewires for now.

The, clothing store, sold me, a useless mannequin, for $300. Of course.

I am going to touch the cheese.

Maus!

Cheese maze, purposely ruined to spare more Mices.

Hmm, Berdly talks about Noelle’s crush. $20 says he actually thinks it’s him, or maybe Kris at a stretch.

Noelle is now immune to mice! Yay!

Oh, CD Bagel, Seedy Bagel, just got that.

Okay, sacrifice pacifist run to kill Berdly…I’m tempted.

Uh, Berdly, Noelle just one shot both your allies. I’m not alone, you are.

Jokes on you, buddy, I’ve been dodging A+ for years!

“(He hit me in the face with a tornado…)” Yes, Noelle, and I have papercuts on my eyelids. He do be an asshole.

Oh good, they both made Battery Acid Pies. Now we’re in a car together. Perfect. This is exactly how I wanted things to go.

Potassium

Who is this trash man?

Spamton, huh. Oh boy.

Oh god, this song has lyrics.

Oh joy, a mini boss on my own. Just what I wanted.

Oh, new game over screen! Nice.

Anyways, I hate this guy.

Okay, just one more deal, I think. I wonder what’s next.

I’m not giving you my credit card info, dude.

Oh damnit, 1% more.

Okay, I’m very scared now.

Oh, I lost $51. That’s, fair.

Okay, back in the car.

Oh my god, Queen loves Noelle too. Perfect.

Lancer took the mixtape! Nice!

Oh, he ate it…nice!

DECEMB…

Oh god she’s a little kid.

December.

I’m so sorry, Noelle. I really hope you’re going to be okay. We’ll figure out what to do.

Queen, why does everything you have explode?

Now the prize is on my head.

Susie and Ralsei! You’re back!

She can slightly heal me now…cool!

And she taught him Sarcasm. I love them all so much.

Uh, Susie! You can have it!

Okay, so, now Susie is both gay for Noelle, and suspicious of her. Amazing.

And Noelle is turned on by the threat of being killed. Have I mentioned I love these dorks?

The gang’s all here!

Uh, just got past fireworks, and, where’s Noelle?

Oh, okay. She was just watching Fireworks.

Oooo, catching mice minigame!

Oooo, more elaborate but simpler to control mice minigame!

Oooo, bucket hole!

Also, nice gay Noelle moment noted.

Oh no, please don’t take the perfect girl away from us!

Okay, so, I don’t like Berdly, but, Acid river? Bit much…

Oh, okay. He was never in danger. I hate both of you. GIVE US BACK NOELLE

GOD DAMNIT NOT THE CAGE AGAIN.

Oh, great, now we’re captured too. Except possibly Ralsei.

She only plays mobile games. Burn her.

For once Berdly is correct.

Queen, you are dumb.

Is that the super Mario world fade?

I don’t, next question.

No looking at my Search history!

Oh, hey, we can chat in here.

LANCER TIME!

YES I MISSED YOU YOU DOPE

Lancer, never say Pants hole again, and never say you were inside it either.

Lancer, do you still not know our name?!

So this is how they lampshade the tutorial-Toriel thing, huh?

Oh no, Lancer, please don’t die in here.

Um, are there rooms for all the kids at school?

Asriel…

Puzzle time!

Plot twist: Susie is not Susan.

Berdly is dumb.

Admittedly, I did brute force that second one a bit…

Okay, now Susie has outsmarted both me AND Berdly. This is sad.

Oh god, he’s gonna cry now.

Oh, my god, that’s what December meant. That’s why Berdly cares about Noelle. That’s why…oh god.

Oh wow, Susie’s a gamer. This is incredible Lore.

Oh wow, first Lancer’s face returns, now Berdly is Anime. I love this game.

Oh my god, Ralsei in a tux. I love him.

Alright, so, Lancer needs to go back to Castle Town, and we need to get the heck to Noelle. I hope Berdly’s plan actually works…

Aw, I wanted him to stay tuxedo…

Color Cafe, huh?

Oh god, Rouxls came here. I am terrified.

I love this hype manor song!

Toby Fox, why is there so much 3D Shenanigans in this 2D Top Down RPG???

Note: from here, I end up going to the secret of this chapter. Do not read if you don’t want to be spoiled on that plotline. Skip to where I say Pancake Batter.

Okay, I’m going back, and I’m gonna find this third blue check mark.

Okay, found it, now to get back to the guy…

Yay, fireworks, again!

East treasure’s hallway leading to Basement on 1F…

Oh dear.

So there’s a secret here after all…where is…

Found it!

Okay, how to open this lock, now…hm.

Well, one thing was in the field, so, maybe in the city?

Oh Jesus it’s Spamton.

$28, not a penny more.

KeyGen, huh…

If this is as hard as Jevil, I’m gonna be pissed.

Oh, great, just Kris going in. Again. Fantastic.

Oh what the fuck.

Oh Jesus Christ I hate this build up.

Oh, and I died on the elevator. That’s fun.

Okay, so I hate this elevator. A lot.

Okay! Took like six tries, but I made it past the elevator! Now, let’s see what’s waiting for me…

EmptyDisk…hmmmmmmmm…

Maybe take that back to Scamton or whoever?

…Ralsei, Susie, what are you two doing?

Okay, trash man, you better like this.

Oh Jesus Christ.

Okay, this is not what I expected to follow Jevil’s lead. But, let’s see what happens when I turn this disk in.

Oh, nothing happened. Sure it did. Just gonna walk away then…

Oh, wouldn’t you know it, something happened!

Okay, so big puppet robot man. This is terrifying.

THANK YOU SUSIE!

Roller coaster boss! Again! Oh good!

YELLOW SOUL!

Can’t write notes, gotta kill.

Spamton, oh my god. And it’s Neo’s outfit. How the fuck did I not realize before?

Im terrified, let’s GOOOOOO!

Holy shit is that the Undertale Game Over message??????

Many tries later

Okay, I think it’s actually Ralsei and Susie talking…

Quitting the game so they can get their healing items out of storage and buy some good ones extra later

Okay, third turn, and I’ve only been hit once! Granted, it did almost 50 damage to Susie, but, still, doing better this time!

Even more death later

Did he just, attack himself?

Is he surrendering?

I…I did it! I did it in one sitting! Minus quitting so I could grab healing items that did more than 40 HP!

Oh, he killed him by freeing him…….okay.

Dealmaker, huh? Let’s see what this bad boy is…

+4 defense, +5 magic (even on Kris?), and $+30%…”and…?”

Okay, Ralsei, you get that, Susie get’s Jevilstail, and I get many questions.

Alright, now back to the actual plot!

Oh…Kris has goosebumps, and Susie’s asking if they’re okay…no. I’m saying no.

I love these two so much. Now let’s save the adorable lesbian.

Pancake Batter. Alright, we’re good.

Sorry, Noelle, got distracted.

Mouse wheel!

Tasque manager helped!

Man, this room is big and empty, with an odd exit door and screens on the north wall. Hmmmm…

Toby!

Thank you annoying dog!

Okay, I still love this music. Just wanted to say that. Anyways, PROGRESS!

We’re tea covered now. Except Susie. She’s tea filled.

Oh god, I don’t trust Berdly with Susie.

God, Knight teased.

Duck ride with Fluffy Boy.

Okay, so, puzzle time, methonk.

High Five!

More duck ride!

Ralsei, do you wanna do the kissy?

Oh boy.

Oh jeez.

Oh damn.

Rouxls.

Ralsei, you read my mind.

Oh Jesus it’s the tank from the first game.

Okay, so, we, take houses? Okay.

I can’t believe some people thought this dork was Gaster.

Wow, I beat him in like 3 and a half turns because I blocked him in.

Another God Dammit because SOMEONE didn’t pay attention to what happened to Lancer.

His head is still blue…

Hey, Camera! Peace signs and hugs!

Mostly hugs.

Yay, more Susie and Noelle time!

Oh my god, my heart is breaking.

Okay, I love these adorable girls.

Oh boy, this is, weird.

“Point and hearts come out” or “Eat moss”. The choice of a generation.

Fair point, Susie.

She likes scary things, huh.

Kinky

Have I mentioned how much I love these two? Because I do.

Susie and Noelle are best girls ever, no objections.

Oh good, Berdly, don’t ruin this completely, okay?

I fucking knew it.

Noelle, you’re going to kill him, and that’s okay with me.

Susie, stop squishing him like toothpaste!

Oh boy, I get big “final boss” energy right now…

Werewerewire?!

Okay, so I just stole from Noelle’s room.

Okay, boss time.

Shit, I should’ve healed up.

Okay, so, I died, but, I can fix that!

So, this boss is calling back to how the town’s internet has gone out, a fact I didn’t even learn until watching other content last night when I should have been sleeping, because I forgot to talk to Alphys during the brief chance I had.

Also, now both she and Ralsei have made reference to the real world outside…hmmmm…

So I guess the plot is about Google search being evil…yeah that checks out.

Bitch, did you just funny runny way?

Hmm, I’d say 50/50 odds of him being a drama Queen vs. him trying to trick Susie into caring about him.

Yep, he’s trying to score a kiss. Berdly…get a job.

Alright, let’s save Noelle, and possibly the whole town.

The “Roaring” Knight?

Oh god, the determination…who is this Knight, what is going on, and how involved are we?

Wait wait wait wait wait wait WAIT

When she described the Knight making more darkness, she said they took their blade, and showed an image of a knife. Was…was this…

HOLY SHIT IS KRIS’S NIGHT SELF THE KNIGHT?!?!

Oh. It was a giant robot. Not a statue.

Susie’s dancing!

Oh yeah, he can fly.

Resistance! Yay!

Okay, so, we sentai up in this bitch.

I wonder how the hell this story would go if we didn’t go pacifist then? Because in Chapter 1, all that really changed was how the boss was defeated in the cutscene, and like a couple details later. This is, a lot more than that.

Okay, so, three rounds of HP, punch out for her turns, just keep attacking. Got it.

Two rounds down, one to go!

Yes, eat your own Baseball, bitch!

Oh, suicide attack. Well it was just a robot.

Oh. She still has us.

Oh fuck the robot is Noelle’s mom. Fuck.

Okay, so, Queen is dead.

Oh fuck, don’t take over the world with darkness all of you, please.

The Roaring?

Oh fuck, new legend lore.

Titans, Fountains, enveloping the land in devastation. Oh jeez.

Lost eternally in an endless night…that’s not paradise. That’s hell.

QUEEN IS ALIVE?!?! AND DIDN’T KNOW ANY OF THAT?!?!

Thank you, Susie!

Okay, that’s a good ending for a second chapter, it’s dark fountain time!

Susie, please don’t turn evil.

…

And, we’re in the computer lab!

Wait, Ms. Boom? Does, does Gerson have a daughter, or wife?

Lost control laughing #3: this

I love this game so much. Time to explore town again.

Okay, Alphys does crush on Undyne still, at least.

Oops, I just let all the prisoner dogs out.

Awww, Undyne likes Alphys too!

Napstablook, I love you.

Oh shit, Asgore used to be a pig?

Oh god, this Rudy storyline is gonna be depressing all the way through, huh?

Susie, can we steal the tower of the gods?

Hey, we can actually go back to Ralsei’s dark world?!

Okay, this is gonna be interesting.

Oh thank god, we can save in the epilogue now, cool.

Oh cool, King and Queen together.

Oh my god he calls her Queenie Beanie. I love this.

So, a card and a computer fucked to make Lancer, who is a card. Okay.

Okay, so Lancer DOES know Kris’s name! Just not Ralsei’s!

New battle challenges! Yes!

Might save “Ch. 2 All-stars” for another time, though…

Perfection is the mannequin reaction.

Oh my god there’s a dedicated room for listening to music I love this

Alright, time to skedaddle back to the real world.

Okay, so Alvin is Gerson’s son, and he’s depressed. Fun.

Oh, MK and Snowy are by the creepy bunker. That’s…fun.

Okay, so, Susie scared them off after they insulted Kris, because Kris said something about the bunker…hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…

Hey, Nice Cream Guy is one of the Ice-E’s employees! Nice!

Ah, PizzaPants. Never change.

Oh hey, it’s the little guy, who’s clone is a Gaster follower. And the bird guy’s still in the library, and the donut guy is still in his car…

Hey, Catty and Bratty are becoming friends again! Cool!

Omg, Sans’s store is open. Do I…go in?

Hell yes I do!

Okay, so, Grillby’s music still, but, different interior. Interesting…

Sans, a day and 2 years in this game are not equivalent. It’s a day and 3 years.

The trousle grows further away.

Oh jeez Susie’s been drinking the milk. Oh god.

Cool, Susie’s seeing Onion too!

Oh, never mind.

A song is coming from deep under the water…either Shyren is involved, or this is gonna take a turn.

See you, Su-

Oh! Hey mom! Meet Susie!

Pie for all!

Oh my god, Susie, my heart is breaking.

Okay, so Alphys and Toriel know about the chalk. That, kinda makes Susie thinking she’d get expelled for it, really depressing.

Okay, so, Toriel and Susie are gonna make Pie together, that’s cool. Still, pretty worried about, Kris.

Uh, I just ran the sink, and, uh…

WHAT THE FUCK

OKAY SO MY SOUL IS UNDER THE SINK, KRIS WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHY IS IT BLACK OUT THE WINDOW WHERE ARE YOU GOING

WHAT THE FUCK

…so we get a cute scene with Susie and Toriel, then Susie asks where Kris is and…they do this sometimes?

I’m very concerned.

Okay, Toriel is concerned too, enough to say “hell”. Even Susie is shocked.

Okay, so, they’re coming back, uh, okay, this isn’t good, right?

Stopped the faucet, opened the drawer, and…we’re back?!

Kris what the fuck are you doing

And why couldn’t we find Asgore in the town?

Okay, so, we’re all sleeping in the living room. I, guess tomorrow’s the weekend, probably? I don’t know?

Susie, doesn’t have caring parents, I guess?

Oh god, Susie wants them to come to our world, but, Lancer is a playing card, he can’t…I don’t know. I’ll say it’s “far-fetched”.

There’s a festival, apparently. This seems…suspicious.

I’d take Ralsei, so you could take Noelle.

She’s asleep.

That, might not be good, in this context.

Okay, so, we’re asleep too, I think?

Oh god, Toriel’s tires are slashed, that can not be good, in any way.

Okay, night time, Toriel and Susie are asleep…now what are you doing, Kris?

That, knife…

Okay, so, yep, they’re the Knight, and they just opened Darkness in their living room. This is, not, good. And, the tv’s on, and the door’s unlocked…

What the fuck is happening?

Ending credits song sounds, techno? Is this more of Don’t Forget? Or a remix? I hear the lyrics at least.

“To be continued in Chapter 3” OH IT BETTER BE, TOBY

So, yeah, that's Deltarune Chapter 2. In conclusion: this explains nothing, raises 120% more questions, and overall is still an incredible, wonderful game. I also like how each Chapter so far has been almost as long as a full play through of Undertale, and yet we're still somehow only 2 sevenths of the way through. Oh yeah, did I not mention? After completing it, it brought me to a chapter select with SEVEN DIFFERENT CHAPTERS, only two of which were available. So, you know. THAT'S FUN!

In actual conclusion, please play this game, it's free, it's amazing, and also buy the soundtrack on Bandcamp so Toby can make some kinda living.

[supernatural4life2022]

Til Death Tears Us Apart

Pairings: Sabriel, Destiel

Rating: All ages

Warnings: Characters are not mine. POV changes between the 4 main characters.

Soulmate! AU where you can’t see the color of your soulmate’s eyes until you meet them.

Summary: Life is boring for the Winchesters until Dean drags Sam to a party. This is Sam’s first party and he doesn’t know what to do so he accidentally gets drunk. There he meets the one person he would never think he would find, his soulmate. Dean thinking his brother is fine goes off and flirts with some girls. Little does he know that his soulmate is about to come and say hi. The Novaks are all a bunch of adopted kids. Balthazar loves throwing parties and has decided to throw a last day of winter break party that the whole school is invited to. Gabriel has always had a secret crush on Sam Winchester but has never met him. He wants to prank Sam but doesn’t want him to take it the wrong way. That is, until Balthazar’s party, he finds the perfect way to prank him. Castiel doesn’t like parties. In fact, he usually hides in his room. But tonight he decides to join his adopted siblings and meet new people. He runs into someone new in town and his whole life changes.

POV: 1st person.

Chapter 1

“Dean!!!!” I yell with the most aggravated voice I could muster while being pulled into someone’s house, to go to a party, I don’t want to be at. All I want is to get a little extra sleep since we have school tomorrow morning, but no, Dean decided to drag me to the Novak’s party because I “don’t get out enough” according to him. So now I am sitting in the corner of a huge room sipping on some punch that Dean gave me. I don’t know anyone here and I don’t want to because our dad is gonna make us move again in a few weeks just so we can restart in a new town with new names and new lives. Just one more year and then Dean will be 18 and he can take custody over me. I look around the room and there is more gray around than usual. I never see the color gold so it is weird that there is so much in this house. I wish my soulmate had any other eye color except this. There are people everywhere, dancing, making out, and some were just staring off into the distance. I didn’t feel comfortable here so I tried to find Dean, but for some reason, I stumbled instead of being able to stand up. I heard laughing and looked up to see someone with gray hair and eyes. All of a sudden everything went blurry.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Balthazar’s parties are annoying. They are terrible and they have no taste whatsoever. All it is is a bunch of kids from school coming over and getting drunk. I usually never come downstairs but today I heard an interesting car outside and saw that it was Dean and his brother Sam. I have had a crush on Dean since I first saw him a week ago. I don’t know why but it’s true. Since he is here I may as well talk to him. I walk downstairs to lots of gold flashing lights and automatically know which sibling was put in charge of decorations. Gabriel is obsessed with the color gold and annoying everyone. After all, he is known as The Trickster at school. I sigh in exasperation and automatically regret coming down here.

“Hey, Cassie! You joining us today?” I just nod my head and walk over to a quiet corner to wait for the perfect moment to talk to Dean. I see him walk in and be immediately surrounded by girls. Oh well, guess he’s straight. I decide to go over and say hi anyway just to be the greeter because Balthazar is too drunk to do it. I notice that his eyes are gray. So he has green eyes huh? I walk over but am interrupted by some guy asking for Michael.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Sam hasn’t done anything except complain about me bringing him to a party. I want to meet some new people. I know we won’t be in Lawrence, Kansas much longer but I would like to have an actual friend for once. We get inside and all the girls turn and crowd around me, making me lose Sam. I just know I need to lose myself in something. Dad is gone to who knows where. When he gets back we will most likely be leaving again and I won’t see any of these people ever after we leave. I grab some punch and give it to Sam hoping he won’t complain about staying here too long, but he doesn’t, so I leave and go sit on a couch. I look over and see a guy with gray eyes. So he must have blue eyes. I want to go say hi to him and get to know him a little bit but all of these girls are in my way and I can’t get through. So I just sigh and sit back down.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey, Balthazar! Are there any specific decorations you want to be used?”

“No Gabe just do whatever you want.” That is how the entire party became gold everything. I figured why not mess with some people and throw them for a loop the second they walk in. Everything is shining gold with gold flashing lights. It is my favorite prank of the week. I don’t see very many colors. The only ones I do see are shades of reds, pinks, golds, purples, and oranges. I hate that my soulmate has freakin’ multi-colored eyes. All I want is to get drunk and watch people enjoy my prank. That is until I see a very tall boy just waiting for me to say hi. I am already very drunk so I most likely won’t remember this but who cares?

Let me know if you want to be on my taglist! I hope you enjoy! It might be irregular updates but I will update as often as possible!

[barbasbodaciousbeard]

Two Weddings

Summary: Sonny and Victoria eloped, but ma makes them have a ceremony a year later. Fluffy fluff. 

Pairings: Sonny Carisi x Original Character

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - Four Valentine’s

July 1, 2006

“You’re the one who wanted to sneak off and get married,” Sonny teased gently, his nonna and nonno’s wedding bands in a little box tucked into the pocket of his slacks. He could see the engagement ring he’d given her three weeks before shining in the sun as they stood on the steps of their childhood church. “We’re going to be late for lunch, but they’ll live.”

“I know. I’m just so excited. I’m muting my phone. I wanna just focus on marrying you.”

“You’re sure you wanna do this, Tor? I don’t want you to feel pressured to marry me. Father O’Malley hasn’t signed it, so it’s just a licence.”

“Dominick, it was my idea to elope,” she said, their fingers laced as they entered. They’d gotten their wedding licence the day before, giddy as they went to the courthouse. There was a 24 hour waiting period before they had the officiant and witnesses sign it. They went to visit Father O’Malley, the priest at the church they’d attended together as long as they could remember, and he understood why they were eloping. While moving in together was a part of their goal, the more they’d talked about it, the more they realized it would be nice to get married without having to balance the chaos of the Carisis. Mia was a kid, Teresa was tired from chasing Mia, Gina was away for school, and Bella had also just graduated. They’d be the second wedding and the only son getting married. Sonny wanted to focus on what they were promising each other. 

They seemed nonchalant towards marriage, but they only did because they’d always treated their relationship like a marriage. Each of them made decisions with the other in mind, with the kids and life they wanted one day at the forefront. She’d been worried when he went away to school, but her worries were quashed when he went to a party for the first time without her, calling her at one in the morning from the party to tell her how much better it would be with her. She’d known then they’d get married. Now he was in black slacks and a white button down with his sleeves rolled neatly to his elbows and his hair gelled back. When he snuck glances at her in her white sundress, he would catch her sneaking glances at him, and they’d both turn red. 

“Our newlyweds-to-be are here,” Sister Bernadette called, and soon enough Father O’Malley joined the trio at the altar with another nun to be the second witness. He was also wise, the nun setting up the tripod and video camera usually reserved for the church kids’ plays. We don’t want Gianna Carisi coming after us. Video may placate her. The marriage certificate and Victoria’s purse in a pew, Father O’Malley began. Both of them knew the format well, clutching each other’s hands. 

"Dominick and Victoria, have you come here to enter into marriage without coercion, freely and wholeheartedly?"

“I have,” they said in unison, and she smiled as Sonny gave her hands a gentle squeeze, grin widening.

"Are you prepared, as you follow the path of marriage, to love and honor each other for as long as you both shall live?"

“We are.”

“Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and to bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?"

“We are.” Sonny was already crying, and Victoria blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. That’d get to him more. He was the crier, not her. 

“Well, now it is time for the vows. Repeat after me-”

“Respectfully, we got this father,” Sonny said, and Victoria did cry when she heard his voice. It was thick with emotion, and the way he stared at her with a broad smile and watery eyes made her feel invincible. 

“Well, take it away, Dominick,” Father O’Malley chuckled softly, knowing they’d memorized them together. He could almost picture them saying them as they sat together studying. Sonny had already updated him on how excited they were each of the Sundays between scheduling their wedding certificate and today, speaking in hushed whispers away from his mother. Meanwhile, Victoria had been calling to ask questions, desperate to have everything in order.

"I, Dominick Carisi, take you, Victoria O’Toole, to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life."

"I, Victoria O’Toole, take you, Dominick Carisi, to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life."

“May the Lord in his kindness strengthen the consent you have declared before the Church and graciously bring to fulfillment his blessings within you. What God has joined, let no one put asunder.” Father O’Malley had known he’d be marrying these two soon, but he hadn’t expected it to be so soon. Both of them had said their vows with shaky voices and broad smiles, and it was amazing to see the children he’d known so long ago marrying now and taking it seriously despite their age. “May the Lord bless these rings, which you will give to each other as the sign of your love and fidelity.” 

Sister Bernadette handed them each a band, smiling softly. Neither of them looked away from the other, and Sonny was almost bouncing on the balls of his feet when he spoke again. 

"Victoria, receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." Sonny’s hand shook as he slid the ring on his hand, and a soft laugh escaped him as he looked back up at her. She wiped her eyes carefully, her hands more steady.

"Dominick, receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” Suddenly, Sonny was almost in motion, and Father O’Malley was tempted to wait to let him kiss his bride. Victoria had already pulled him closer, smiling wide enough her eyes were almost shut. It was the first time he’d seen her rival her new husband’s smile. 

“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You can kiss her now, Dominick.” In a flash, his arms were around Victoria's waist as her hands went to his cheeks. He kissed her sweetly before pecking her lips again and again. Both of them were giddy, laughing, and Sister Bernadette cut off the camera. She promised to email them the video file by the end of the day, and Sonny couldn’t bring himself to remove his arms from Victoria's waist as his chin rested on her shoulder. 

“Thank you, father,” Victoria grinned. “I’m sure Ma will be planning a ceremony or reception or something soon. And I wanna go ahead and apologize for the fact she’ll yell at you.”

“I can take it,” Father O’Malley assured her. “You’d have gotten married anyway. And it was nice to see you two get married. And you got to focus on the marriage, not Gianna chasing you around.”

“We gotta get to lunch with them. Thank you father.”

“Congratulations, you two. I’ll see you for mass tomorrow.”

They walked outside, and Sonny was wrapping his arms around her tightly and spinning her as they both giggled. They’d both always known it would happen, and now they were married. He’d found an apartment, and they’d moved him in the week before. She’d packed her room at her mom’s house, and they’d move her in the next day. It was almost surreal because it almost felt like the unspoken was just official now. 

“We’re married,” he said, voice managing to be both ecstatic and reverent as he pressed his forehead to hers. 

“We are,” she beamed, her hands resting on his sides. “It’s perfect.”

“You’re perfect, Victoria Carisi.”

“That sounds so good, Dom. I can’t wait to go change my name when the marriage certificate comes in.”

“I’ll come with you when you go to the DMV.”

“Ready to go tell Ma?”

“I’m ready to tell everyone.”

The drive was quiet, both of them just holding the other’s hand. Victoria watched him drive with a gentle smile, squeezing his fingers periodically as their neighborhood flew by. Was Ma going to guilt them? Of course. But she’d given him Nonna and Nonno’s rings. She knew as well as Father O’Malley and Sister Bernadette the inevitability of the marriage. The girls would all be sad there wasn’t a wedding and reception happening without Gianna’s pressure, but his dad would be relieved. Once he’d parked, he shot her a crooked grin. 

“Ready, Mrs. Carisi?”

“Ready, Mr. Carisi.” 

He held her hand in his, smiling softly as he felt the cool metal of his own ring pressed into his skin. It was reassuring like he hadn’t expected. Teresa and Mia opened the door, and the pair made their way through the Carisi girls, boyfriends, and kids before finding Ma in the kitchen. Bella followed them, and it didn’t take long for Victoria to realize she’d been the one to notice the rings first. The youngest Carisi daughter crossed her arms and leaned against the kitchen wall as her Ma greeted her brother and Victoria. 

“Sonny, what’s that on Tori’s hand?” she asked innocently. “The left hand. You have something on yours too.”

Ma’s eyes flashed to Victoria’s hand, and he watched as she registered a potential engagement but then quickly saw his hand and started to process what had actually happened. He wasn’t sure if she was angry, hurt, happy, or a combination of the three. 

“If I don’t get to plan a ceremony, I’ll kill you both.”

“Father O’Malley did the ceremony. He filmed it for you,” Victoria said softly, hanging on Sonny’s arm. “But we can plan a reception.”

“Father O’Malley? So you had your church wedding without us?”

“Ma, we can renew our vows or something.”

“You’re damn right you’ll renew your vows.”

“So you’re going to be mad at Victoria and me instead of happy for us?”

“Of course I’m happy for you,” she said softly, gripping his arms and looking up at him with a gentle smile. “My cielo is married to our stellina. I expected the engagement when she turned eighteen. You’re just my babies, so you’ll be having a wedding later.”

“We love you,” Victoria smiled, giggling when Gianna pulled her and Sonny into a tight hug. She pressed kisses to the top of each of their heads, beaming. 

“And I love you both. It’s about time stellina is a Carisi.”

“She’s been a Carisi forever, ma.”

“She’s got the name now.”

“I know,” Sonny grinned. “Victoria Carisi is like the best name I ever heard.”

“When will you have the video?”

“Sister Bernadette said by tonight.”

“You email it to me. And you’ll check before you leave. If you get it while you’re here, we’re all watching, cielo.”

July 1, 2007

“He’s going to cry when he sees you, stellina,” Gianna smiled, pressing a maternal kiss to the top of her head. Her own mother was here, but she had settled in with Teresa and Gina for drinks. Gianna and Bella were helping with the small buttons along the back of the dress. It was strapless with a sweetheart neck, but there was sheer material with lace up to her collar bone and forming sleeves down each arm. She was rocking on the balls of her feet wanting to go to Sonny’s side.

“He always cries,” Bella teased. “But this time it’ll be because his wife is so pretty.”

“Thanks,” she smiled, hands smoothing the satin of the dress’s skirt. “It’s kind of nice having a ceremony for our anniversary. Makes it more like a celebration.”

“Stellina’s mom and I need to go sit. This our beautiful bride.”

“I’ll take care of her from here.”

The last time they’d been in this church for a Carisi family member’s wedding ceremony, it was Teresa and her husband’s. Sonny and Victoria had been middle schoolers, and Teresa had put them in the bridal party. It was almost surreal to know she’d be walking down the aisle alone. Her father wasn’t there to give her away, and it would feel strange to have a woman she rarely saw after she turned sixteen give her away. It had been days before Irene had even known her daughter was married. Bella and Tommy would be the last to walk, and Victoria stood behind them, fiddling with the ribbon of her bouquet. She knew he would think she was beautiful, knew she’d see his dimples and the glimmer in his eyes as he teared up, but some part of her was still nervous. They’d been on their own now for a year, but this almost felt like dress up, them pretending to be adults. Maybe life always would. People would be looking at them too. Center of attention wasn’t her strong suit. They had, however, learned a dance for the first dance, sneaking off to lessons after class and work.

Suddenly, Bella and Tommy were gone, and Victoria was beaming through the nerves as she waited for the bridal march. When it started, she stepped out, her eyes flying to Sonny when she made her way down the aisle. He was as happy as he’d looked when they eloped, and the suit looked perfect. He looked so handsome and sweet and kind, and the reality hit that he really was her husband. Maybe Ma had been right about a wedding. He had lit up, crying as everyone had predicted. She wasn’t the one to cry, but she quickly realized she was now. Sonny had worried his knees would buckle when he first saw her, and they nearly did. More than anything, he felt giddy as he watched her. She was beautiful everyday, but now, walking down the aisle to renew the promises they’d made to each other a year before? He wanted to sear the image into his memory. Some caveman part of his brain liked having an audience for their vows, as much so he could show off his wife as so they could celebrate with friends and family. Since they were already married, they decided to write their own vows when the time came.

“Victoria, I think I shoulda known I was going to marry you when you used to dare me to kiss ya when we were kids and then run off so I’d chase you. It kind of started this thing where I’ll chase you anywhere you want to go, including eloping the first summer we can so that Ma has to plan a wedding for two people who’ve already been married a year. I get to kiss you anytime I want now, though. That part is way better,” he started, his voice light, before he got more serious, hands clutching hers. “ I swear it’s only going to be you. The first and only woman I’ll ever want. No matter what happens, I promise to make you laugh, hold you when you cry, and only be scared of you when you’re driving. The best thing that ever happened is getting to build our life together. Being your husband has been an honor, and I promise to stick with you through the good and the bad.”

“Dominick, I remember when we were kids, I was in school and instead of saying the sky was blue, I said the sky was Sonny’s eyes colored. That’s probably when I should’ve stopped pretending you had cooties because it was probably a sign you were always going to be my favorite person ever,” she said, her voice not as strong as his was. He was used to getting emotional; she wasn’t. “When we were in New Orleans, I realized that the reason I hated every girl you went to a school dance with was because you were supposed to be my date, and that you were supposed to be my date because I wanted you to kiss me. I promise that I’m always going to be there for you, no matter what happens, good, bad, and in between. I’ll always make you cannoli when you’re stressed and celebrate when you’re doing well and be there however you need me when you’re sad. We’ve got forever ahead of us. I promise you won’t be able to get rid of me. You’re it for me.”

When he could, Sonny nearly flung himself at Victoria, arms around her waist pulling her close as he leaned in and kissed her deeply. He flung there clasped hands up with a crooked smile as they made their way down the aisle, meeting his mother and the photographer outside the church doors. They started taking photos, and Victoria wrapped her arm around Sonny, one hand resting on his chest.

“Hi Mrs. Carisi,” he hummed, hand resting on hers. 

“It still sounds really good,” she smiled, kissing him softly. “A few more pictures, then we go dance and eat.”

“You ready for our number?”

“Oh hell yeah I am. You ready?”

“Do I got two left feet? You bet. Am I excited to dance with my wife to the song we been singin’ to each other since we were kids? Oh yeah.” He kissed her temple, spinning her as he hummed “You’re my Best Friend” by Queen, and a squeal escaped her.

“Save it for the dance floor.”

“Anything you say, doll.”

“I love you, Dom.”

“And I love you, Tor.”

@cycat4077​