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nereidprinc3ss · 5 months

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do you believe me now? | 3

in which spencer reid spends a rainy day teaching inexperienced fem!reader how to touch him. of course, her efforts don't go unrecognized, much less unrewarded

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18+ (smut) warnings: inexperienced reader, softdom!spencer, sub reader, oral m receiving, reader swallows lol, a truly sickening amount of praise, like really, you JOKINGLY refer to each other as dirty sluts, r has longish hair, spit mentioned once, thigh riding (moans loudly), its filthy idk what to tell you, i feel like i've crossed the desert on foot i don't even know what else is in here, your honor they're in love, i take you to dinner first, this part is stupidly long a/n: had a fucking field day the three separate times i had to rewrite this el oh el... but think i like how it turned out?! anyway, if u like this PLS lmk bc writing it took a small piece of my soul, and yes there will be a part four!! take care of yourselves!! i love you!!!

You give Spencer half a minute or so before knocking on his door for a second time.

It’s miserable outside, and though the hallway you’re standing in now isn’t terribly cold, you’d much prefer to be in Spencer’s apartment, where it will be the same toasty 68.5 degrees as always. Not that the heating will magically dry you. And not that you’ll be there for long, if the date you’d scheduled last week goes on as planned.

You’re getting worried, about to knock for a third time when the locks finally click and the door opens to reveal a disheveled Spencer Reid—not at all looking ready for a date. You take in his ensemble; blue checked pajama pants, FBI Academy crewneck, the usual questionably paired socks. He’s rubbing his droopy eyes, which slowly widen as he notices your attire.

“Shit, I’m sorry, our date! I mean—you look really nice. I look… like this. Why don’t you come in while I get ready to go?”

He holds the door open a little wider and you step through, relishing in the familiar warmth as you pull your hood down and excess water droplets spatter on the ground.

“When did you get in?” you ask, hanging your raincoat up on a hook. You know he’d wrapped up a case yesterday evening, but you’d gone to sleep before the team left Cincinnati.

Spencer pauses in the middle of the room, staring at the antique flooring like he forgot what he was doing.

“Uh… four hours ago.”

“Wh—four hours? Spencer, you must be exhausted.”

He laughs awkwardly, running a tired hand over his face.

“I mean… I’ve definitely felt better.”

You kick your soaked shoes off and cross the room until you’re toe to toe with him. Immediately his hands settle on your waist and yours find his arms. His eyes are kind, and he’s clearly pleased by your presence despite his lack of energy.

“The weather’s terrible, anyway. Let’s just go out another day.”

His features have softened and you can see how tired he truly is—not just in his bleary eyes, but the way his fingers grasp weakly to you, the way his head bows slightly. It seems bone-deep.

“But I haven’t seen you in a week. I don’t want you to go home.”

Your lips twist. A clap of thunder rolls in the distance and the rain starts coming down even harder against the windowpanes.

“We could hang out here. We can take a nap!”

Spencer sighs—half resignation, half disappointment.

“But we made such good plans,” he laments.

You kiss his cheek.

“Plans that can be rescheduled. The bookstore will still be there next weekend.”

It takes him a moment to settle into the idea, but you watch the exhaustion win.

“Okay. But no nap. I want to be awake for you. Coffee?”

You nod enthusiastically, beaming at the prospect of getting to spend the day doing nothing with him. Spencer mirrors your grin, before pressing a kiss to your head.

“You’re so cute.” Heat creeps into your cheeks and you can’t think of a satisfactory reply, but in the end you don’t need to, as he tugs gently on your hands. “C’mon. Tell me what mug you want.”

The kitchen counter bites into your palms as you lean with your back to it, watching Spencer putter all around the kitchen as he works on the coffee. It makes you tired just to watch.

“Are you sure you don’t want to take a nap? Caffeine isn’t a substitute for sleep, you know.”

“I do know,” he agrees, measuring coffee grounds. “But other than last night, I actually slept fairly well this week.”

“You seem exhausted.”

“I… am tired in lots of ways. Not all of which can be resolved with more sleep.” he admits.

Your heart drops ever so slightly at the way his voice weakens as he looks through the fridge. Sometimes you remember there are still things you don’t know about him—sides you haven’t met. His work side is one of them, and it more than a little intimidates you.

“Bad case?” you ask, voice quiet and crackling with nervous energy.

Spencer nods, approaching and setting a carton of milk on the counter behind you—caging you in with his arms in the process. It’s hard to find the words when he’s this close, but you manage to stumble through them.

“Do… do you wanna talk about it?”

Spencer hums, tilting his head before gently saying, “not right now. But thank you for offering, lovely.”

“Okay, well—if you change your mind… if there’s anything I can do to make you feel better…”

Finally he stops with the teasing—the unabashed staring at your lips, the faux-attentive nods—and drops his head to your level to kiss you properly. It’s obviously an attempt to get you to shut up, you’re not dumb enough so as to miss that—but you don’t really care why he’s doing it so long as he does it at all.

“I feel pretty great right now, actually,” he murmurs against your lips, a hint of a smile coloring his words. “Do you want sugar in yours?”

“Um…”

Your eyes dart helplessly between his as he pulls away and you struggle to un-fluster yourself enough to answer his simple question. Spencer seems to delight in this. The longer it takes you, the bigger his perfect smile gets.

“You took too long. You’re getting sugar.”

“Are you sure there’s nothing I can do?” you plead later on the couch, for the third or fourth time, setting your mostly-empty mug on the coffee table.

His eyebrows raise.

“I’m sure, honey.”

“But I want to help,” you pout, pulling your knees into your chest. Spencer regards you for a moment from the other end of the couch, before beckoning you closer wordlessly.

“You are helping,” he assures you, gently grabbing your wrist as you crawl into his lap. He rubs soothing circles into the delicate skin with his thumb. “You being here and being you is plenty.”

It’s the closest you’ve been to him since before he left, and while you’ve all but given up on asking him to sleep with you, it doesn’t mean you don’t think about it multiple times per day. It’s especially difficult to keep your thoughts PG when you haven’t seen him in a week, and his hair is all messy, and he’s got his pajamas on, and you’re in his lap, and he’s looking at you like that.

“What are you thinking about?” Spencer murmurs, likely concerned by your lack of response and the glazed-over look in your eyes. You reanimate, averting your gaze to the spot on your thigh he’s now rubbing absentmindedly.

“Nothing. I just missed you.”

“I missed you a lot, too.” You don’t even have to look up to know that his brows have twisted into a pleasant sort of bemusement, like you are a particularly complex puzzle—you can hear it as he continues speaking. “I’m still not used to having something external take up so much of my attention while I’m trying to do my job. I’ve never had that before. Not something good, anyway. It’s like every time I leave, I’m thinking about you more than the time before. And I was already thinking about you a lot.”

The corner of your mouth twitches as he rambles.

“Really?”

“Yeah, really,” he chuckles. “You prove to be incredibly distracting even when you’re hundreds of miles away. Do you know how many nights I almost called you before realizing it was one in the morning?”

A slow smile spreads over your face.

“Oh? Whatever could you have been calling about at one in the morning?”

You’re teasing him, and it works. He blushes adorably.

“Um… probably exactly what you’d expect. In hindsight I think it’s best that I refrained.”

“What?” You grin, incredulous, forgetting your shyness and leaning closer. “You totally should’ve. I’ve never had phone sex before. I would’ve done it.”

“No, you wouldn’t!” Spencer laughs. “It would have just been me talking to myself with you on the other line. I don’t think phone sex is really up your alley.”

“Shut up,” you laugh as your lips meet. He smiles into the kiss. Before you get too lost in it, you pull away, leaning back when he tries to follow you. “I think you’re over-complicating it. It’s just dirty talk, right? I can totally do that. It’s just, like… blah blah blah, dirty slut, something something…”

You trail off as he gives you a look. Poker faced—aside from the slightly narrowed eyes sparkling with humor.

“You want me to refer to you as a dirty slut?”

Maintaining eye contact is an uphill battle—you crack in a matter of seconds, resting your forehead against his and closing your eyes stubbornly.

“No. For all you know I want to call you a dirty slut.”

It’s a ridiculous, but he recognizes the bravado for what it is, still smiling slightly as he rubs your hips.

“Right. I apologize for assuming. But just for future reference, I don’t want to be called that, and I don’t think I’d be comfortable calling you that, either.”

“But you can call me other stuff,” you remind your boyfriend, pulling back and still not looking at him.

“Yeah? Like what?”

And just like that, you’re shy again.

“I don’t know… nice things. I like when you’re nice.”

“I like being nice to you.” It’s so sincere-sounding that you meet his gaze, examining his face. His eyes are clear and soft on you, the only source of warm light on such a grey day, as his hands keep running slow lines over your sides. “Kiss?”

And how could you ever deny him anything?

As has happened before, the kiss starts out innocent enough. And it’s not that it gets particularly heated, or anything—it’s just that it doesn’t end, and after a few moments your mouth slips open and so does his and that’swhat gets both of you worked up over a period of minutes. Pressure and heat that you’re becoming accustomed to build between your legs, and you don’t even notice that you’ve begun rocking back and forth in his lap until Spencer is attempting to still your hips with patient but assertive hands.

“Honey, that’s—slow down, sweetheart.”

Finally he gets a grip on you and you realize as soon as you stop moving that there had been friction occurring—and you’re pretty damn sure you know what you were grinding against.

Your whole body feels hot with arousal and embarrassment.

“Oh my god—I’m sorry,” you mumble, moving your hands from his shoulders to cover your face. “That was an accident, I—”

“It’s fine,” Spencer assures you, squeezing your waist gently. “I just wanted to make sure you knew what you were doing because I know we haven’t… gotten there, yet.”

A moment passes—your hands fall to the FBI stitching across his chest, studying the letters without really seeing them. You haven’t gotten there yet… but why not? Why haven’t you touched him, or even seen him? You think back to the few times he’s touched you and realize that you had been too busy with either your own insecurities or pleasure to genuinely consider how it might be affecting him. He says your name gently, drawing your attention.

“You okay?”

You nod haltingly, brow furrowed as you think.

“I—yeah. I was just realizing that I haven’t, like… touched you, yet.”

It’s silent for another long second, and you glance up, to where he’s studying you with a dissonant kind of relaxed scrutiny—a knowing confidence that probably comes with a lot more experience than you have.

“Do you want to?”

Woah.

Usually you have to beg on hands and knees and prepare a slideshow presentation before he agrees to doing anything sexual in nature. He’s never so overtly invited or initiated it before. Not that you’re complaining by any stretch of the imagination.

You nod shyly, still fiddling with the fabric of his shirt.

“If you want to, I can show you how. But it’s also absolutely okay if you don’t.”

Show you how?

Your brain is melting into sludge at the idea.

“I do,” you admit, meeting his gaze again. It’s kind, and you know he really wouldn’t be upset if you said no—but now that you’ve thought about it, you feel deeply compelled to try.

“Okay. Come here, first.” You lean forward expectantly, eyes fluttering shut as his hand finds the back of your neck and he pulls you into another soft kiss. By the time your lips separate again, your head is spinning. “We’re just trying something, okay? You’re allowed to stop whenever you feel like it. Really low stakes. Got it?”

You nod, still close enough that your noses brush as you do.

“Got it.”

He presses one more chaste kiss to your lips before pulling away and leaning back into the couch.

“Scoot back a little, angel.”

Wordlessly you do so, heart pounding with nervous excitement as he lifts his hips and slides his pajama pants down just enough to where he can comfortably pull himself out, and—

Your breath catches.

Now, you may be about as virginal as they come, but you weren’t born yesterday. You’ve seen porn, you’ve received unsolicited nudes—it is the 21st century. Yet never before have you thought to yourself; wow, that dick is the pinnacle of beauty. Perfect. Breathtaking. But there’s just no other way to describe him.

So that’s what hits you first—how unexpectedly pretty it is.

The size sinks in a quick second later.

You can’t tell with perfect accuracy how many inches he is, but you’re pretty damn sure he’s big. That’s meant to fit inside of you?

No, no—that’s a consideration for another day. Right now you need to stop staring like an idiot. You glance up at his face, and he’s sporting a cocky little half-smile which lets you know you’ve been caught. Motherfucker he’s so hot. It’s unnerving.

“Do you have something you’d like to say?” he asks politely, quite obviously containing his amusement. But you can’t summon a sufficiently sarcastic response.

Your voice comes so soft when you reply, “you’re pretty.”

Spencer melts, eyes impossibly softening.

“Pretty?” His smile is earnest now. He strokes your cheek and you can’t not lean into his touch.

“Mhm. I want to, um…” your lips twist to the side as you look back down, finding he’s not gotten less intimidating since you last checked. “But what if I’m bad at it?” you whisper. He chuckles, brushing hair over your shoulder.

“It’s kind of a hard thing to be bad at. And I’m gonna help you, okay?”

It’s the honesty with which he speaks to you that makes you feel so safe. There are no hidden intentions or words that seem to mean one thing but really mean another. Spencer wants you as a person more than he wants you as a body and that’s been clear since the first time he touched you. You take a deep breath.

“Okay. What do I do?”

“First, you’re gonna spit in your hand.”

You look up, alarmed.

“You want me to intentionally get my spit on you? Is that not your worst nightmare?”

“Believe it or not, I’m not super worried about yours,” he teases. “But if you’d prefer, I can spit in your hand.”

“Actually, mine is fine,” you laugh nervously.

Hesitantly, you do as instructed, even though it seems frankly bizarre.

“Good. Now just wrap your hand around it, like this.” His voice is quiet, focused as he guides your hand downward. Your heart rate ticks up again as he encourages you to wrap your hand around the base of his cock. He feels much warmer than you’d expected—his skin is silken beneath your touch but he’s undeniably hard and that sort of eliminates any sense of him being fragile from the equation.

“It’s gonna be less sensitive down here—and then, up here—” he slides your hand back up, covering your thumb with his own and swiping it just below the head of his cock on the underside. He hisses and you look up in fascination. “That’s the most sensitive part.”

Without further instruction, you do it again, keeping your touch light and watching his face for a reaction. His drawn brows twitch, furrowing deeper for a second, and his lips part. A heavy exhalation passes between them and quickly builds into a breathy laugh.

“What?” you murmur, over-eager to please and very nervous to do something wrong.

“Nothing. Just feels good, that’s all.”

“Don’t laugh,” you pout. Of course that makes him laugh again, and he leans forward to kiss your head.

“I’m laughing at myself, angel. I’m a grown man fighting for my life from a handjob that you’ve barely started. I knew it would be different with you but I didn’t realize it would be this different.”

Heat rises in your cheeks and you look away.

“You don’t have to lie to make me feel better.”

“I’m not lying,” he urges, grabbing your free hand and encouraging you to uncurl your fingers. His thumb traces circles in your open palm, before capturing your entire hand in his. “Do you feel how much softer your hand is than mine?”

You frown, attempting to feel whatever it is that he’s pointing out. Despite the fact that you think he has very nice hands, you realize he’s right. By no means would you say that they’re rough, but you can tell where his gun normally sits in his hands, where his fountain pen rubs against his fingers. “Yeah.”

“Yeah. Anything you do is going to be perfect because it’s you.”

Spencer drops his hand to your leg, rubbing it soothingly. The other moves to cover yours—the one wrapped around him.

“You’re gonna help me, right?” you ask quietly. Some adventurous part of you is very excited about this as an experiment—fascinated by the reactions you’ve already gotten from him and eager to push it.

“I am. Little bit tighter, honey. I’ll tell you if it’s too much.”

You do as you’re told, and he’s murmuring more praise—slowly encouraging you to begin moving your hand with his own. A shaky exhale catches your attention, drawing your gaze to his face. His eyes are, of course, cast downward, but his expression is hypnotizing. Those lips remain slightly parted, and suddenly you wonder if he makes noises like you do. In that moment it becomes your life’s mission to find out.

For a while you continue letting his hand guide your movements, but he keeps things so slow for your sake that you’re getting impatient. You forgo his direction, picking up the pace but trying to keep the rhythm he’d instilled in the motion. His hand slackens around yours.

“Fuck,” he hisses to himself. The hand on your thigh rubs achingly deeper into the flesh. “Angel, what are you doing?”

“I want it to feel good.” Suddenly shy again, you slow down. His hips stutter, which you think may be a sign that it was working. “Am I—was that bad?” Spencer looses a breath, looking almost… frustrated?

“No, I’m just—I’m weirdly close to coming.”

“That’s a good thing, right?”

“Well,” he mutters, “not usually. Mostly it’s embarrassing.”

You giggle, a release of some tension, and begin pumping your hand again. His breath hitches and he finally looks up at you, meeting your eyes with his own lust-glazed ones. Heat pools deep between your legs.

“I want you to come,” you admit quietly as you twist your wrist, brushing that spot underneath the head of his cock again. His jaw literally drops, and a look that is part confusion, part pleasure, twists his features. You see the surprise sparkling in his eyes and it only spurs you to keep talking. “I’ve never seen how you look when you do, but I’ve imagined it. I bet you look so pretty when you come, Spencer. ‘Nd then I would know that I can make you feel good, too.”

“You… you are making me feel good,” he assures you. The way his brow furrows and his lips are parted give you a feeling that’s entirely new. Normally, you’re the one falling apart under his touch—but when it’s the other way around there’s a whole new kind of pleasure in it for you. You feel kind of powerful. Maybe even close to confident.

“Really? I’m not this quiet when you touch me.”

“I’ve ha—ah—had more practice not making noise.”

“But why?” you implore, ignoring the fact that he’s slept with other women and enjoyed the sounds they made, and opting to brush your thumb across that extra sensitive part he definitely shouldn’t have told you about. His hips buck up and he hisses, which is immensely gratifying to you.

“Because I like to listen.”

“What if I do, too?”

In a moment of divine inspiration , you cover the tip of his cock with your hand, swirling beads of pre-come over your palm. Spencer moans and his hips jut up into your grip. It’s a beautiful sound, just as you’d hoped.

“Jesus, fuck.”

You understand why he seems to enjoy touching you so much. It’s so rewarding to watch as his breathing picks up and pleasure contorts his face—to watch him get messier and messier and lose his composure a bit more with each stroke of your hand. It’s so simple but Spencer looks at you like you’re exercising some arcane deviant power over him and he’s not sure he should be enjoying it as much as he is.

Distantly you think about how it felt when he had his hands on you—and then, in clearer focus, how it felt when he went down on you. Both were perfect, but something about his lips so gentle on the most intimate, vulnerable part of you had felt like ascension. Maybe it was the emotional component, or maybe it just felt fucking good. Regardless, it seems an irresistible thought.

You keep stroking him until his head is lolling on the back of the couch as he groans.

“Spencer?”

“Yeah, baby?”

He sounds so destroyed it makes you clench around nothing. Without any indication that you’re going to do so, you stop touching him, and the speed with which he lifts his head again is almost comical. Immediately, while he’s utterly defenseless and desperate, you ask, “can I use my mouth?”

His eyes widen, and then shut, as he processes your request with a tiny shake of his head—probably trying to clear the haze of pleasure from his mind before he answers.

“Honey,” he rasps eventually, opening his eyes and smoothing a hand over your hair, “you don’t have to do that just because I do. That’s not why I do it.”

“But I want to,” you murmur, shy and mildly embarrassed by what feels almost like a soft rejection. “I don’t think I could do anything, like, mind-blowing, but… I want to try.”

Your face is hot by the end of the sentence, and you can’t meet Spencer’s eyes as his fingers twitch over your hip. A quiet moment passes—but it’s short-lived.

“Okay. Go ahead, baby.”

Wide eyes dart up to his.

“Really?”

Spencer smiles fondly, brushing an invisible speck from your cheek.

“I don’t think I’m capable of turning that offer down. Not when it’s you.”

“Okay—um, should I just—” Spencer watches on, finding your sudden enthusiasm completely adorable as you scoot off of his lap and gingerly kneel in front of him. Your eyes are big and glassy as you look up at him, hands set politely on his knees. You squint suspiciously, eyes darting between his face and his cock, now about as hard as it’s ever been due to your toying. He knows it’s probably intimidating for a girl who has never seen one in real life, and he feels kind of bad about it. You do terrible, wonderful things to him that he doesn’t understand. “Wow. So... it looks bigger from down here.”

“Please don’t try to choke yourself,” he instructs hurriedly, leaning forward slightly. “I really don’t need you to do that. It’s fine if you can’t fit it all, I just—” he exhales shakily. Spencer is most definitely strong-willed but he can’t pretend like the sight of you on your knees for him, inches from his aching cock for the first time isn’t impacting his cognition. Most importantly he doesn’t want to make you feel pressured. He’s trying to not let how badly he wants this show in case you change your mind.

Spencer watches as you psych yourself out—wilting like a thirsty flower.

“But what if I’m bad at this?” you mumble, hands curling into loose fists atop his legs. Spencer pushes your hair back, tucking it behind your ears.

“What’s your worst case scenario?” he asks. Your answer is immediate.

“That I’m so bad you make me stop halfway through.”

Spencer can’t help but laugh again.

“I’m sorry—I just… honey, you are really underestimating how profound your effect is on me. I just almost came from a minute long handjob. I can assure you that I won’t make you stop halfway through because I’d rather not have your mouth on me. That is… that’s just not going to happen.”

You lean your cheek against his thigh. He might actually pass away.

“Will you tell me if I’m doing something wrong?”

“Honestly, as long as you don’t bite, you’re in the clear.”

Your eyes squeeze shut and your lips pull into an embarrassed little smile.

“Great. Thank you for that invaluable advice.”

“Of course,” he smiles. It fades slowly as you take a deep breath and look up at him, obviously steeling yourself, before leaning forward and taking him in your hand again. He watches with bated breath, repeating no sudden movements to himself over and over as your hand moves up and down a few more times and your head lowers.

You delicately, so lightly trace your tongue from the base of his swollen cock to just underneath the leaking tip, mapping a vein, and his hips buck as you take him into your mouth experimentally. Only the first few inches fit but the sight of your lips wrapped around him, the way you’re looking at him is so unbelievably erotic Spencer knows he won’t last very long.

From a purely technical perspective—he knows he’s gotten objectively better head. Still, something about the way you’re so delicate with him, so soft and timid in the way you lick and kiss and take him into your mouth has him fighting not to come already. Maybe it’s wrong, but knowing that he’s watching you do this for the first time in your life is obscenely arousing. The idea that you’ve never trusted another person this much; that you’re letting him be the one to help you navigate something as new and as important as sexuality. The more he thinks about it, though, the more he realizes: it’s not your inexperience that turns him on. It’s just you. Everything you do is so undeniably you—he recognizes your mannerisms in every tiny motion, in every glance, and it’s killing him. You’re like a dream as you look up at him with big nervous eyes, (no, really, he has had this dream) and he remembers he wants to be reassuring you—not pondering life and human connection.

“Look at you,” he murmurs, groaning and hips twitching as your cheeks hollow, wrapping his achingly hard cock in soft gentle warmth so sweetly it feels taboo. “So good, baby. So gorgeous like this.”

You whine around him, receptive as always to his obsequious praise, and he notices the way your hips wiggle as you seek friction. God, you must like this a lot. Spencer gathers your hair into a makeshift ponytail, resting his hand on your head as you begin to bob it. That, he wasn’t prepared for. He’d have been satisfied with just kitten-licks and suckling but he won’t complain about this. It’s slow, and so intentional as you keep watching him for feedback cues. Ever his observant girl, you’re constantly paying attention. Aware of his reactions. He needs to keep telling you you’re good or else you’ll assume you’re terrible.

“Over-achiever,” he whispers through a little smile as you down even more of him.

Spencer is for the most part a kind and gentle person. For better or worse he is also a man, and he can’t help but fantasize about getting you all teary and drooly as he holds your mouth open and sees how much of his cock he can push down your throat. But again—kind. Gentle. So when you get a little over-zealous, attempting to sacrifice your comfort for his pleasure, he pulls your head back slightly. “That’s far enough, angel. That’s—fuck. God, you’re good at this.” The words are thoughtless, muttered to himself more than you as he watches through a haze while you look up at him with glassy, half-lidded eyes, slipping him in and out of your warm mouth, a little faster now as you gain confidence.

You whine desperately around him, like you’re the one nearing orgasm and not him. The sound of your pleasure as you suck his cock makes him dizzy. His hips buck, pressing him a little deeper into your mouth. “Jesus fucking Christ,” he exhales. “Slow down, baby. I’m—” a louder moan from him like you’ve never heard as he thrusts shallowly turns you on profoundly. He’s so much more vocal than you’d have imagined—sonically and verbally. He breathes out a quick, “fuck, fuck, fuck,” pulling your hair slightly, and you’ve never wanted to touch yourself more but you know you can’t focus on both. Instead you work on making him come—you can worry about you later. He says your name, with an authoritative edge to his tone that makes you throb. “Honey, if you don’t stop, I’m gonna come—”

You swirl your tongue around the top of him like candy and he’s done for. Spencer tries to pull out, which only results in cum both in your mouth and on your face. The orgasm is his strongest in recent memory, and he grunts, watching your lips part and a little squeak escape as he comes all over your face—but you keep stroking him all the while. Once he’s 90% sure it’s over, he falls against the back of the couch, breathing heavily and looking down at you through hazy eyes. Oh, he’s going to feel terrible about this in a few seconds—but right now you look fucking perfect. Your eyes are wide, nervous as his essence drips over your face and down your neck—he groans when you swallow cautiously, averting his eyes to the ceiling lest he do another thing he regrets.

“Baby, I am so sorry,” he mutters, forcibly clearing the haze of orgasm from his mind and sitting up, fixing his pants and looking around before locating the box of tissues on the side table. “I’m so, so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” You look up at him attentively as he wipes himself from your face as gently as he can.

“Why not?”

“Because I didn’t ask you first. I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

Spencer guides your head around by your chin, wiping your jaw and lips.

“It’s okay, Spence, I—”

“No, it’s not,” he cuts you off, trying to at least turn his guilt into a learning experience for you. He’s not deluded enough to think someone like you will stay with someone like him forever, because sometimes he does things like that, and he’s reminded that there are certainly people out there more deserving of you. At the very least he can clarify that nobody should ever do what he just did to you. “It’s really not nice to do that to someone.”

“Do you care what I think at all?”

Spencer freezes, finally forcing himself to look you in the eye. Despite the fact that he’s mad at himself, he’s sure it’s coming across as being directed at you. And he knows you’re sensitive, especially about this kind of thing.

“Of course, I do, baby. I’m sorry. Do you want to come back up here with me and tell me what you’re thinking?” he murmurs, cupping your jaw. Hesitantly you nod. The tissues end up on the table—which he will be thoroughlywiping down later—before you crawl back into his lap from the floor. Spencer helps you settle against him, hoping he hasn’t messed this up irreversibly. He keeps his voice quiet as he rubs your leg. “What were you going to say?”

“I was going to say,” you begin, “that it’s fine, because you’ll remember to ask next time. And because… I kind of liked it. I like when—when you do stuff like that.”

It’s a miracle he can hear you with the way your voice drops into an almost-whisper and you’re hiding against his shirt.

“Like what?” he murmurs. Although he’s not sure he’ll be able to handle the answer.

“Like… I don’t know. Like you can do whatever you want to me. Like I’m literally yours.” Each word makes you cringe further, but Spencer has to try hard to maintain a cool facade as he processes this. If he’s going to try and be chivalrous, you’ll have to move away from this topic—this revelation—immediately. Thankfully, you seem eager to move on. “So… how did I do?”

He almost laughs. It seems exceedingly obvious how you did, but as per usual, you require verbal reassurance.

“That was really good, baby. You did well.”

You blossom.

“Really?”

“I wouldn’t lie.”

“Was I the best girl out of all of the other girls?”

I wasn’t in love with any of the other girls.

Just barely, he manages to stop himself from saying it, pinwheeling his arms on the edge of a very steep verbal cliff. The realization that he’s been in love with you for a while hits him like a truck. But he can’t tell you that right now. He should wait until you’re less vulnerable.

Fuck.

He really wants to tell you right now.

“Actually—don’t answer that,” you decide, while all of this happens in his head in less than a few seconds. “I want to go back to pretending I’m the only girl you’ve ever seen in your life.”

“You’re the only one that matters,” he offers, relieved to express at least some portion of the much bigger truth. Then he frowns. “Not that the other women I’ve met don’t lead important lives. I actually know a lot of incredibly influential and intelligent people who are women. I have deep respect for all of them. Am I helping or making it worse?” he rambles. You giggle. He has his answer. “What about you? How do you feel?” he asks after a moment, tenderly, lowly, stroking your hair as you lean against his chest.

It takes you a moment to deliberate, fiddling with the fabric of his shirt.

“I feel good. I, um… liked it a lot more than I would have thought.”

“Well, that’s good. Much better than if you had hated every second of it.”

You hum in agreement, and he waits for you to say whatever you’re holding back. It comes sooner than he’d have anticipated.

“I feel bad about the times before. How did you just… go to sleep after? Were you not, like—insanely turned on? Not that I’m, like, irresistibly sexy, or whatever—you know what I mean.”

Spencer smiles because he knows you can’t see him.

“I wasn’t doing it to pressure you into feeling obligated to reciprocate, I guess. My line of reasoning was that it would be less intimidating if I didn’t even present it as an option until you wanted to try.”

“Oh.”

Spencer thinks he sees where this is going.

“Why?” he asks, leaning back and encouraging you to look at him. “Are you insanely turned on?”

“Wh—that’s—I didn’t say that!”

Spencer can feel how warm your cheeks are as he presses his lips to the side of your face.

“You can tell me if you are,” he murmurs, all smiley as he moves to kiss your lips. “If you want something, you need to ask for it. I’m not a mind reader.”

“Yes you are,” you grumble. “That’s literally what behavioral analysis is.”

Not quite true, but surprisingly, he doesn’t feel the need to explain to you the semantics of what he does for work right now.

“What got you all excited?”

“You know what,” you mumble, trying to look away again. Spencer doesn’t allow it this time, gently grabbing your jaw.

“Yes, I do. But I want you to tell me. If you want me to make you feel good, this is how you’re going to convince me that you deserve it.”

You whine wordlessly, looking at him with those big, lust-glazed eyes.

“You wanted me to teach you how to use your words, right? This is it. I’m giving you an opportunity. If you don’t want to, that’s okay. Maybe we can take a nap, like you said earlier.”

“No! I liked—um, I liked all of it. I didn’t know if I would, because I was really nervous. But when I first—you know—and you got all quiet… it was like you couldn’t even talk for a minute. I was kind of proud of that. Because normally nobody can ever get you to stop talking.” Spencer narrows his eyes incredulously, a small smile tugging at his lips. But he doesn’t interrupt—not when it seems you’re finally starting to get more confident in your words. “And I really liked the noises you made. I think that was my favorite part. I liked when you pulled my hair back, and how you spoke to me. And when… when you got me messy and I had to swallow it. I really liked how it felt because I couldn’t think of anything else, just making you feel good. I really wanted to… make you proud, I guess. Is that weird?”

Spencer shakes his head no, a fond smile on his face when your eyes meet his again.

“No. It’s a pretty normal thing to feel when you’re nervous and wanting to impress someone you care about. And I would have been proud no matter what, for the record. You were being very brave.”

You pull your bottom lip between your teeth, watching him expectantly. Spencer should have known you’re too needy to truly absorb anything he says to you right now. Which is actually pretty cute. Everything you do is endearing to him.

“Stand up.”

You frown.

“But—”

“Just stand up,” he demands calmly, preferring to think of himself as firm and not bossy.

You do, looking rather annoyed and confused as you plant yourself in front of him.

“Why?”

“You are so full of questions.” His hands slip up the side of your legs, under your skirt, and hook in the waistband of your underwear. Spencer looks up at you meaningfully and you nod, swallowing.

As he pulls down, Spencer can literally feel the resistance of the fabric clinging to your soaked core. Under his touch the skin of your thighs is warm and soft. He wants to feel it on either side of his face, he wants to hear you whine as his stubble rubs against it, he wants to feel it clamp around his wrist, he wants it between his teeth and he definitely wants it pressing against his hips as he—

But no.

There will be time for all of those things—especially the last one—later. For now, he’ll reach between your legs just to see—

“Oh, my god,” Spencer half-chuckles, half-groans, upon feeling how wet you truly are for him. He drags his knuckles from your dripping entrance up over your clit, pinching very lightly and earning a squeak from you which he ignores. “You really did like having your mouth full of me, huh?”

“I told you,” you breathe, visibly relaxing some as he continues to play with you for a moment. Then he pulls his hand away again, patting his thigh.

“Sit.”

“You want me to…”

“Yes,” he says, simply.

“But is it not going to… am I not going to mess up your pants?”

“You are even more neurotic about messiness than I am. I can wash them, honey. Come here.”

Spencer guides your hips over his thigh, watching your pretty face twist with uncertainty as you fully settle on him. Fuck, he can feel your warmth through the fabric instantly. Already he’s getting hard again.

“What am I supposed to do?” you whisper, bunching his shirt in your fists. Spencer slides your skirt up higher, revealing the way you’re nestled against his thigh. He spreads you a little further apart, exposing more of your clit to the material underneath you. Immediately you press against him—he watches the delicate flesh rubbing gingerly against him and his grip tightens ever so slightly.

“All you have to do is rock back and forth. It’s easy.”

Already you’re starting to do it—but he guesses it’s like earlier where you don’t even realize it’s happening.

“But… I wanted your mouth,” you admit, quietly, slinging your arms around his neck and burying your face there.

“Do this for me first. Just get yourself off like this one time and then you can have my mouth. You said you wanted to help me feel better because I’m tired today, right?

“Yes,” you mumble, squirming over him.

“Well, there are a lot of days when I get back home and I’m tired. I’m gonna need you to be able to get on top of me, just like this, and make me feel better. And I know you don’t know what it feels like to have something that deep inside of you yet, but it’s gonna be a lot. Even once you know how it feels to have me inside when you’re underneath me. I need you to practice for me right now so you’ll be ready, okay?”

You could come from the words alone. You nod, dazed with need as you roll your hips in a circle, pressing his thigh against your clit.

“Back and forth, baby,” he murmurs, guiding your hips forward with his hands locked around them. “Back and forth, just like this…”

You moan quietly, shamelessly, eyes fluttering as you look down and watch your clit dragging over the darkening fabric. It’s easier if you isolate your hips, grinding down without moving your legs or upper body at all.

“It feels really good,” you whisper under your quickening breath.

“Yeah? Does it?”

“Mhm.”

“Good, angel. You look like you know what you’re doing.”

It’s audible now, quiet and wet and dirty.

“I don’t,” you breathe. He sucks in a breath of his own, stilling your hips with fingers pressed deep into your flesh.

“Sit up, baby.” You really wish he would stop making you stop, but you don’t want to keep going in case he needs you to quit—so you rise slowly, thighs trembling as you kneel. Spencer groans at the strings of your arousal momentarily connecting your core to his pants before they snap, getting your inner thighs wet. There’s a dark, very wet patch over his thigh, shining like glass. He thumbs over your slick clit absentmindedly as he looks up at you like you’re a miracle. “You’re fucking soaked. I’ve never seen you like this. Is this all from making me come?”

You nod feverishly, hips grinding against nothing in search of friction. He sits you back down on his leg, allowing you to sloppily find your rhythm again. Spencer bounces his leg lightly and you cry out softly, buckling forward. His arms wrap around you, still pressing you down against his thigh as you rut against it.

“You’re sweet. Maybe I should have known how much you’d like it when I came all over your pretty face. You really like hearing that you did a good job, huh? I bet you like it even more when I prove it to you.”

You moan a “yeah,” barely processing his words.

“My good girl even swallowed on her first try. Took it so well. And now look at how you’re taking this. You’re gonna love riding, baby. Just going to be another thing you’re good at as soon as you try it.”

“Spencer,” you gasp, overwhelmed by the praise. He’s bouncing his leg at regular intervals and everything is so sensitive.

“I know it’s harder to finish this way, but just one time, remember? And then you can have my tongue for as long as you want. You are my only plan for the day. Just give me one like this.”

But it’s not really harder to finish this way. Then again, you’re so turned on you could probably finish if a breeze hit you just right. Regardless, the thought of him going down on you again pushes you even closer to the edge.

You don’t know how much time goes by like that, you rubbing against him like it’s the last thing you’ll ever do, him pressing up into you until the pressure is so taut it snaps. There’s no time to warn him, but you suppose you don’t really need to. You writhe against him, caught between wanting to keep going and not being able to take more stimulation. He lifts you up just slightly, trying to separate you from his leg. You exhale deeply as your body relaxes, already close to dozing off against his chest.

“We can’t have you tapping out just yet. I still have to fulfill my end of the deal.”

In the end, he fulfills it three times over, and you end up showing your appreciation in kind one more time—much slower and more comfortably in his bed. He gives you plenty of time to learn what he likes, taking your teasing and coquettish explorations like a champ and never so much as tightening his grip in your hair. Turns out, you don't exactly spend the day doing nothing.

And you do end up taking that nap after all. Just... much, much later. And with less clothing on.

part 3.5

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid x #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds smut #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds imagine

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rwbyrg · 1 month

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Hello again! I was wondering, in your own opinion, what moment(s) for both Oscar and Ruby, really implied that there was much more going on with the two character, in the sense that their relationship was starting to evolve? Also what do you like about those moments? To add, do you think we will see it much more in volume 10?

Hello!! I think, generally speaking, all of their focused scenes imply there's more going on or that their relationship is evolving in some way. RWBY doesn't have filler. So when characters - especially ones as central to the narrative as these two - get focused screen time together (and romance-y tropes), it's done with intention.

Ruby's arc is about many things, but especially about how she's pretty much the last silver eyed warrior that can face Salem. Meanwhile, Oscar's arc is about defining who he is while under a curse that robs him of his identity. And in their first meeting, Oscar comments on Ruby's eyes, and she asks him who he is. Even their first lines to each other are mirrored in how they're spoken!

This scene really shows that their character arcs linked from the very beginning.

We get all the stuff I mentioned in my last post and more and none of it is necessary to do if it's not building up to something. Which it very clearly is.

I have no doubts we'll get to see more of their shared story in V10 onward. The V9 epilogue - what was supposed to be the final episode of the season - works as both a closing point for the Atlas arc, and a kick off for the Vacuo one. It's setting the stage for what is to come. A non-extensive list of what we know we're getting so far:

Nora's and Winter's character arcs; both of them struggling with responsibility, grief, and guilt.

Weiss will almost certainly be getting some focus by extension of that as well. Especially because her arc has always been about her family.

Ren being more open and trying harder to support those around him.

Qrow, more hopeful than he's ever been before and how much it's propelling him forward.

And then we have Oscar.

Oscar and the merge. Oscar Pine, Little Prince, pining at Ruby's grave in the desert. I talk about this set up a lot, and it's difficult to explain succinctly because it's got a lot of complex pieces at play (and has been going on since their meeting, as mentioned above). But if I were to try and break it down as simply as possible:

Ruby's fatal flaw is her grief. Her silver eyes are powered by, and the embodiment of, the preservation of life. She doesn't want to lose anyone else that she cares about and cannot bear the weight of responsibility that comes with it alone. So much so that she almost abandons her own identity via ascension because she is offered the choice to do so. She stays true to herself in the end as someone that fights, not for those she's lost, but for those she hasn't lost yet. And the narrative, through all their interactions, but especially the Tea Party, has placed Oscar front and centre in the position of who Ruby hasn't lost yet. Oscar, who wants nothing more than to be a part of the team that he keeps pushing away. Oscar, who just wants to be who he is, to preserve himself, but is being robbed of that choice via the merge. Something Ruby, can't protect him from.

RWBY loves to make its pairings thematically complimentary and it loves pushing characters to their limits. There is no way that the scenes and setup between Oscar and Ruby haven't been intentionally building to something big with how much their respective and shared conflicts are directly playing off of each other. There is no way CRWBY - with their limited budget and resource constraints - dedicated all that screen time to these two for it to not pay off at some point. And given this arc is the last one... now's a good a time as any for it to happen.

#as for the scene(s) that made me realize: the blush (and fumble)#i wish i was more articulate so i could explain EVERY piece to the puzzle that is RG at once but there's just so much to cover wahh #anyway #rwby #ruby rose #oscar pine #rosegarden #meta #analysis #creatoriamari #asks #ask

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jpmarvel90 · 1 year

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We're not your family anymore

Masterlist Nat Masterlist

Relationship: Natasha x Reader

Summary: Y/n is accused of killing Shield agents as is being held in power dampening cuffs despite her pleas that she is innocent.

Word Count: 4421

Y/N POV:

I had been a part of the Avengers for a little over a year now. Tony had taken me in after they saved me from a Hydra base. For 7 years I had been held captive, tortured and experimented on. Their “special” serum causing me to develop powers which Tony believed would be a benefit to the team.

At the beginning the team were sceptical of me and it took me a few months to be able to fully gain their trust and prove that I wasn’t a Hydra double agent. But eventually one by one I built great relationships with them all. Especially Natasha who, for the last 4 months, I’ve been dating.

It’s been amazing and I never thought I would feel happiness again like I do. With Nat I feel safe and loved and, although it’s still early, I’m sure that she is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Between Nat and Wanda, my best friend, they helped me be able to control my powers of telekinesis and control of the elements. Within no time I was able to use my powers effectively on missions that I was sent on.

Today I was being sent on a mission with the support of two SHEILD agents. Agents Patterson and Holbrook. I was packing my bag when I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist and smelt the familiar scent of gorgeous girlfriend.

“When do you leave?” Nat asked whilst planting soft kisses between my shoulder blades. “As soon as I’m packed, the Quinjet is waiting for me.” I turned in her arms so I was facing her and kissed her forehead. She hummed gently as she pulled me in to a tight hug whilst resting her head on my chest.

I loved this, although Nat has this tough exterior, she was never anything but loving and caring to me. Don’t get me wrong I know that she would kick my ass if she needed to, but it meant so much to me that she felt safe to be vulnerable around me.

As much as it pained me, I pulled away and looked into her piercing green eyes. “Be careful and come back to me.” She said, moving her hands to me waist. I gently placed my hands of her face and pulled her in to a soft yet passionate kiss. “I love you” I said into the kiss. “I love you too” she smiled, then grabbed my bag in one hand and pulled me towards the door with the other.

I boarded the Quinjet with one last loving kiss from girlfriend and was greeted by the two agents I’d be working with. I hadn’t met either of them before but Fury had sent them with me so I trusted his judgement.

The journey was quiet, we went over the mission brief to confirm our roles and settled in for the 4-hour journey to our location. Our mission was simple, download all of the information we could get from the Hydra base and get out. Steve was on comms back at the compound and was on standby if anything went wrong.

The mission started off smoothly, the three of us were able to get into the base with little resistant from the Hydra agents. Something felt wrong, I knew this mission was meant to be simple, but this was too easy. I pushed this uneasy feeling down and carried on until we reached the data room. Whilst Patterson and Holbrook provided cover, I plugged in the USB and began downloading all the information.

“Y/N I need an update, we’ve just lost the cameras!” Steve stated over comms. Shit I thought. This wasn’t going to be good. “We’re in the Data lab, just transferring the data now. Steve, something doesn’t feel right, we got in here too easily, we need…….” I suddenly felt a burning pain in my side, I turned to see Agent Patterson smirking as he pulled his knife out of my side.

“You didn’t think Hydra would let you get away with deserting us for the Avengers did you?” Now Agent Holbrook was stood over me as I fell to the floor. I tried to stand up and fight, but I was met by a swift fist to my jaw from Patterson. “Steve…” I called trying to active my comms. “It’s no use Y/L/N, he can’t hear you anymore.” My eyes became heavy and before I could even start to work out a plan I feel into unconsciousness.

Time skip

I started to wake, squinting my eyes as I adjusted to the bright lights. I sat up and lifted my hand to my face, only to notice I was in cuffs. The panic quickly pulled me out of hazy state. I sat up and hissed at the pain in my side. But that was the least of my concerns right now, I recognised this place. I was in the cells back at the Avengers compound.

What’s going on, I manage to pull myself to my feet to stand and make my way to the edge of the cell. I feel weak, these cuffs are blocking my powers and I know the longer I’m in them the worse this is going to get.

Whilst I’m in my confused state Steve approaches my cell. “Why did you do it Y/N? Why did you kill them? We trusted you!” Kill who, what is he on about? He looks angry, I’ve not seen Steve look like this since I first join. “Steve, what are you talking about? I didn’t kill anybody!” I tried to stay calm as I could not wanting to aggravate him more. “Don’t play dumb Y/N, Patterson and Holbrook, they’re dead you killed them. For a year you’ve been working with us, became friends with us for what, just to betray us!”

Oh god, did I kill them? “Steve, please you have to believe me, they were part of Hydra, Patterson stabbed me in punishment for joining you. I passed out and they were still alive, I swear!” I was getting more desperate now. But things just got worse as I saw Nat stood in the corner of the room observing me. I no longer saw the love in her eyes. She looked betrayed.

She stepped forward into the light. I could feel the warm tears start to fall down my face. “Y/N, there is no point in lying anymore. For a year you’ve hidden who you really were, you got close to each of us. Did I mean nothing to you?! You’ve betrayed us!” She shouted the last statements. “Nat, please I love you, I didn’t do this, please you have to believe me! You saved me, I was lost and broken but you gave me a chance to do good and have a family.” I was nearly sobbing by now. How could she not believe me? “We’re not your family anymore.” She almost whispered and with that her and Steve turned their back on me and left.

How could this happen, how could they not believe me or even give me a chance to explain everything? I slid to the floor and brough my knees to my chest as I sobbed. Everything was falling apart and the people I cared about most had given up on me.

I had no idea how long I had been in this cell now, it must have been at least a week. I was weaker than ever. The cuffs had shut off my powers and it was slowly killing me. With no way to use my powers, the serum Hydra had injected me with was poisoning my blood.

No one had come to see me and I had no chance to try and put my case across again. An unknown agent would come down with my food twice a day, but I had no appetite anymore. I had no desire to carry on when the people I love had given up on me. I just sat in the corner of my cell waiting for the inevitable to happen.

A few days passed and I could barely keep myself conscious anymore. I was finding it harder to tell what was real and what I was hallucinating. I knew it was only a matter of hours until I succumbed to my permanent slumber. I was ready now. I just wanted to shut my eyes and for all of this to end. The pain I felt at losing the only family I ever had was too much, I had nothing to hold on for anymore.

I spent this time trying to remember the happy moments in my life. My first date with Nat, the first time I could control my powers with Wanda, and the team movies nights where everything just felt normal. With that I felt a pain in my heart, knowing that they no longer saw me as family. Nat’s love had disappeared, and I was the enemy to them now, an inconvenience for all them all. I was ending my life how I had started it, alone. Silent tears fell down my cheeks and I fell into unconsciousness.

Nat’s POV:

“Just let me go and see her! She’s my best friend. Let me read her mind and we can find out the truth!” Wanda was pacing around the common room whilst begging me to go and see Y/N for the 3rd time today. “Wanda, you know you’re not allowed down there. Fury is right, we don’t know what she’s capable of, we can’t be sure what you would see would even be the truth.” I was getting frustrated now. I was tired of having the same argument over again. “That’s bullshit and you know it Nat. Y/N never even worked for Hydra, she was held captive, hell I did more damage against you guys than she ever has! Please just let her explain.”

“No Wanda, she lied to us for a whole year!” I yelled. I couldn’t understand how she was still trying to defend Y/N. “If she was a double agent don’t you think she would have been trying to do more damage than just kill two random agents? How many opportunities did she have to kill one of us?! I thought you of all people would have given her a chance to talk, to let her explain!” This angered me, Y/N had lied to me, made me fall in love with her for it all to be fake. But that last comment hit me harder than I thought. I did just walk away, for a moment when I stood in her cell I thought I saw fear in Y/N’s eyes. But she was with Hydra for 7 years, she easily would have been able to manipulate us.

I was hurt, I really love Y/N. I had felt so comfortable when I was with her. She had never judged my past and supported me through my nightmares and when missions went wrong. She never hesitated to drop everything if I needed her. She was my everything even though we had only been together for 4 months. This betrayal hurt more than I could have imagined.

Before I got lost in my thoughts Steve walked in and broke my trance. “We’ve managed to get the camera footage from the Hydra base.” I took a shaky breath as I followed Steve and Wanda to the meeting room. I don’t think I’m prepared to watch the love of my life take those agents’ lives.

Third person POV:

The whole team sat around the table as Tony started to play the footage. Tension filled the room as the truth started to unfold.

Y/N, Agent Patterson and Holbrook entered the Data room and Y/N runs straight to the main computer to start downloading the data. After a few minutes Y/N responded to Steve’s comms update “We’re in the Data lab, just transferring the data now. Steve, something doesn’t feel right, we got in here too easily, we need…….” And in that moment Agent Patterson sunk a blade into Y/N’s stomach.

“You didn’t think Hydra would let you get away with deserting us for the Avengers did you?” Patterson snarled to Y/N as she fell to the floor. Y/N tried to stand up and fight, but she was met by a swift fist to her jaw knocking her back on the floor. Y/N called out “Steve…” before Agent Holbrook snarked. “It’s no use Y/L/N, he can’t hear you anymore.”

A gasp filled the meeting room. Nat looked over and locked eyes with Steve, guilt evident across both of their faces. But there was still one question unanswered, what happened to the two agents?

As Y/N collapsed to the floor, another man walked into the room and addressed Patterson and Holbrook. “You’ve done well, but your mission is not over.” As he spoke he raised his weapon and shot both of the agents. Holbrook dropped to the floor dead whilst Patterson tried to steady himself. “B-but why?!” Patterson asked as he gripped the wound in his stomach. “Killing Y/N is an easy way out for her. She deserves to suffer for all she has done against Hydra. I want the Avengers to hate her, for her to watch the love of her life disown her. She’ll be heartbroken whilst she dies slowly, in pain, losing everything she’s every loved.” The mysterious man let out an evil cackle as he placed the gun in Y/N hand and walked away.

Nat’s POV:

The room was silent. I felt physically sick. How could I be so stupid. I didn’t even give her a chance to explain, I just instantly thought the worse and left her to her fate. How would she ever forgive me?

The team were shell shocked, no one spoke or moved until Wanda stood up and looked round at all of us. “I hope you’re happy. Y/N worked so hard to prove herself to us, to gain our trust after she had spent 7 years in hell. She did everything we ever asked of her. Yet with one incident you all turn your back, not letting her have her say, you just assumed her guilt and locked her away. I don’t think she’ll ever forgive us.”

No one could make eye contact, the guilt filled the room. What was I doing? Why was I still sat here? “We’ve got to go and let her out, we have to start to make this right.” I said as I rose and started towards the door. The others nodded and followed my lead.

My hands were shaking as we arrived in the cell block. I knew she was going to be angry, I don’t blame her, but I just hope that she’ll give me a chance to make this up to her. I take a deep breath and make my way to her cell.

What I saw made it feel like my heart stopped. Y/N’s body was slumped in the corner of her cell. “No no no no! STEVE OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!” I yell frantically. As the door opens, I run to her side, “Y/N, can you hear me, come on Y/N wake up! Baby please don’t leave me!” I shout shaking her shoulders. I can’t tell if she’s even breathing. Her face is gaunt and grey with dark circles under her eyes. I put 2 fingers to her neck feeling a very weak pulse. “She’s alive, just. We need to get her to Banner now!”. I turn around and see Steve and Tony stood there in shock. We did this to her. “Now Steve!” I yell pulling him out of his trance. He bends down and picks her up bridal style rushing her to Bruce’s lab.

We’re all stood outside the lab watching Bruce and his team working on Y/N. “This is all our fault. She could die and not know that we don’t hate her! She could die thinking I don’t love her” I trailed off at that last thought. Fuck, please be ok.

Time skip

Bruce left his lab with a solemn look on his face. He slowly approached us fiddling with the glasses in his hand. “How is she Bruce?” I asked, scared of the answer. He looked up and made eye contact, took a deep breath before starting. “Y/N’s powers were gained from the serum that she was injected with whilst she was held by Hydra. As long as she was using her powers regularly her body was able to prevent the serum from causing damage to her. When we put Y/N into the power restricting cuffs, her body was no longer able to fight the serum. It was slowly poisoning her from the minute we put them on.”

We stood there in silence. We were killing her! “What does that mean? Can you fix her?” Steve asked, stepping forward and putting his hand on my shoulder. “I’ve tried to counter act the serum and I’ve done all I can. Y/N was almost dead when you brought her here her body barely functioning. All we can do now is wait and hope her body reacts to the counter agent.” Silence filled the air again before I dared speak, “so uh, she can still die?” “She’s stable for now, but yes, if her body can’t fight then there won’t be anything else we can do. I’m so sorry Nat.”

I stood there in complete shock. Bruce walked by and gave me a pitying look as he left. I looked towards Steve and I couldn’t hold it in anymore. Tears streamed down my face and I let out quiet sobs as he pulled me in to a tight embrace. “Y/N is a fighter. She’s strong and she’ll get through this.” He tried to comfort me. “A couple of hours ago Steve we thought she was a murder, but it turns out that’s us.” I pushed him away and left.

I walked into the lab and pulled up the chair next to Y/N’s bed taking her hand in mine whilst placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. Her body seemed so small and it broke my heart to see all the wires and machines fighting to keep her alive. “I’m so sorry moya lyubov (my love). Please fight, please come back to me. I know I don’t deserve it but I promise I will spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you”. Tears were uncontrollably falling down my face as I gazed down at the love of my life.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and heard soft cries. I turned to see Wanda, I reached up and grabbed her hand that was resting on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled at you all.” Wanda said. “No Wanda, you were right, we handled this all wrong. She’s going to need you when she wakes up. You’re the only one who believed her.” The last comment hurt as I said it.

“She’ll forgive you. Her thoughts were very loud when she was with you. She was so happy to be with you, she said you made her feel complete. We are her family and we can fix this” Wanda smiles and gently gives me a kiss on the head before she leaves.

Y/N’s POV:

As I open my eyes I’m blinded by the bright lights. Am I dead? My eyes start to adjust and I look around and see a familiar red head resting on the edge of my bed. I must be dead I think to myself. I pull my hand away from Nat’s tight grasp trying to sit up. This wakes her up. When she sees I’m awake she shoots up. “No, baby you need to lie down.” She says gently pushing at my shoulders. I really want to get up and get out of here, but the pain is horrible. Wait did she just call me baby?

“You’re ok Y/N, we didn’t realise the handcuffs would cause the serum to poison you. You’re going to be ok.” She reaches out to take my hand but I pull it away. I can see that hurt her. I can see tear stains down her cheeks. Why did she care if I was dead or alive? To her I was a cold-hearted Hydra murderer.

“Are you going to send me back to my cell now I’m awake?” I croak barely able to speak. She shakes her head “No Y/N, we saw the camera footage, we’re so sorry we know you didn’t do it. Hydra were setting you up.” I run my hands through my knotted hair and let out a deep breath which causes me to wince. Why does my whole body hurt? Nat seems to notice the wince and pushes a button near the bed calling for Bruce.

A few minutes later Bruce walks through the door with Wanda and Steve in tow. Wanda runs over to me her eyes filling with tears. “Y/N thank God you’re ok. I missed you so much.” She pulls me into a tight hug causing me to let out a small cry of pain. “Shit, I’m so sorry Y/N.” Wanda pulls away quickly and I give her a small smile to let her know it’s ok.

Bruce walks over to take her place and starts asking me questions. Most I can respond to by just nodding or shaking my head. “Why is my whole body in pain? It feels like it’s on fire” I say in a raspy voice. “The serum was attacking every part of your body. We were able to kick start your body into counter acting the damage but it will take some time for you to fully heal. I’ll give you some pain relief now which will hopefully help you be more comfortable.” I nodded as Bruce injected painkillers into my IV.

“When can I leave?” I ask. “I would like to monitor you for a couple of days but I reckon you can move to your room to recover from then.” Bruce responds. “No Bruce, when can I leave the compound? I don’t belong here anymore” He just looked at me as Nat reached out to take my hand again. “Y/N it might take weeks before you’re well enough to walk out of here.” I can feel all of the team’s eyes on me. Nat and Wanda both have glossy eyes. “I’ll take my chances thanks Bruce” I huff as I try and sit up to leave.

They all step forward talking at once.

Bruce: “Y/N lie back down, you’re still at risk. If you leave you could still die!”

Wanda: “Sweetie, please stay. Let us help you. This is your home.”

Steve: “We’re not letting you leave until Bruce says it’s safe”

Nat: “Please baby just stay, I can’t lose you!”

“JUST STOP!” I yell. Ouch that hurt. They all back off and look at me shocked. “Stop pretending that you care about me. This is no longer my home, I do not want to stay somewhere I’m considered a murder and I’m not trusted.” I can feel tears fall down my face now. I’m hurt, I love them so much but they don’t trust me anymore, it’s not realistic for me to stay here.

I can bare to look any of them in the eye but I feel all of theirs burning into me. There is an awkward silence until Nat squeezes my hand before she speaks. “Y/N, please look at me.” She slowly lifts my chin until my teary eyes meet her beautiful green ones. “I know what we have done is unforgivable. I don’t think we will ever be able to tell you how sorry we are. But please believe me when we say that we do not think you are a murder. We made a mistake, an awful mistake, but we will do anything and everything to prove to you that we are sorry and gain your trust back. This is your home and we’re you’re family. I love you and I’m not willing to let you go without a fight this time. I won’t make that mistake again!”.

I search her eyes, trying to find any sign if she’s lying. I turn and look to Wanda who is smiling gingerly at me. “We love you Y/N. I know it may not feel like that right now, but we do.” I reach out and grab her hand and give it a squeeze and her shoulders relax. “I never had a family until I came here. Then you gave me a home and helped me fix myself. I would have given my life for any of you. I found the person I love more than anything in this world.” I pause looking to Nat whose tears have started to fall again. “I don’t know if I can forgive you…. But I know that I want to try. I’m not ready to give up on my family. Not just yet.” The tension in the air seems to lift and they all smile at me whilst Wanda kissed my forehead.

I feel my eyes start to get heavy and Bruce orders everyone to leave so I can rest. Nat stands up to leave but I pull her back towards me. “Please stay with me.” I ask at barely a whisper worried she’ll say no. A wide smile grows across her face as she meets her lips to mine in a soft and loving kiss. Our lips fitting together perfectly as butterflies fill my stomach.

I move over in the bed to make room for her to join me. She looks at me hesitantly. “I don’t want to hurt your babe.” She looks down fiddling with the hem of her shirt. “You won’t hurt me Nat. Right now, I just want my beautiful girlfriend to hold me to make me feel like everything will be ok.” She looks up with a slight smile as she gentle gets into the bed carefully pulling me into her chest. She rests her hand on my stomach asking, “Does this hurt moya lyubov (my love)?” I shake my head and plant soft kisses on her neck. I feel safe again. I know it’s a long way to go before we can fix everything that is broken, but in this moment, I’m happy in the arms of the woman that I love.

#natasha romanoff #natasha #romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x y/n #natasha x y/n #marvel #marvel fanfiction #avengers #avengers fanfiction

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daboyau · 4 months

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Random question: What would you do if you had to survive the Sahara desert for a week with one of the turtles (no mystics) and one of their human counterparts? Who would you pick and why? Would your answer change if it was the Amazon Rainforest? There is honestly no reason for this question except I'm curious, so no pressure to answer!

Okay first off this is an incredibly fun ask and I thought about it probably way more than I should have lmao. It made me really happy to get it and to overthink it and I love you for asking kajsjska. Sorry it took me so long to actually get around to answering it!

My choice for who I’d want with me would change based on the iteration, and since I met you through Rise stuff I’m going to assume you had rottmnt in mind when asking! Sorry in advance because this may get long.

So! Which Rise turtle and human would I want with me if I was suddenly dropped in the middle of the desert? How about the rainforest?

So first off, I have very limited survival skills, so that’s unfortunate for all involved. However I’d like to think that I’m also pretty level headed in a crisis, realistic but optimistic, and thrive when I have no choice but to care for others, so that’s good for whoever gets dragged along on this adventure with me!

For the desert, I’m picking Mikey as my turtle companion, hands down. First off, because he’s a box turtle and therefore out of his brothers would have a better chance of doing well in the desert environment. More than that, though, it’s because I think out of all of them, he’s going to be the easiest for me to get along with in a high stress situation like this. He’s a younger kid, so my big sister/mom friend instincts are going to be kicked into high gear and I’m going to miraculously find the strength to power through any hardship because of the fact that a kid needs me. Also because from watching the show, he tends to want someone to take charge in Situations and will therefore be more likely to listen when I tell him to do something. (Unlike certain other people.)

He’s also been shown to be crazy strong even without the use of mystics so if one of us humans gets injured or if we need someone to carry supplies I think he’ll be able to handle it. The biggest challenge is going to be keeping him on task, but if the main focus is to survive the week and not escape the desert, I think that will be doable.

For the human, I would choose Casey Jones Jr. since he’s already got survival skills and experience living in a world with limited resources. Also, I think he seems easygoing and level headed in a crisis, and he and I would be able to tag team responsibilities and brainstorming to have the best chance of survival. (And of keeping a teenager like Mikey calm and on task.)

For the rainforest…I almost chose Raph. I think he would do well in that kind of environment. He’s got the size and the strength to help power through, and similarly to Mikey and CJ I think our personalities would mesh fairly well in a situation like that. However….

I gotta go with Donnie on this one. We all saw how he hated the forest while simultaneously thriving in it during their time “camping”, and I think something similar would happen in the rainforest as well. The biggest struggle would be convincing him to let me inside the fancy treehouse if we’re not already friends, which is where the human counterpart comes in.

I’m dragging April into this. I think she’s got tons of random and unexpected skills that will have the chance to amaze and excite out in the wild, and also that she would be able to talk Donnie around to letting me join them in his fancy shelter for the week. Also, she’s really fun and I think it would be a good time all around. It would actually probably be pretty relaxing, as long as there’s no shenanigans that result in the whole place getting blown up or something. Considering present company there is…a chance of that happening….

Thank you for giving me something fun to think about at work, @eb177 !! 💚💚💚

#Asks #rottmnt #Rottmnt shorts

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lyranova · 1 year

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As promised here are my “in depth” thoughts about Black Clover: Sword of the Wizard King movie!

Warning Spoilers below!

I thought the movie was pretty fun and exciting! The different team ups between characters were amazing, and they showed off characters and squads (ie; Mantis’s and Lions) who didn’t really get their “times to shine” much in the anime and they introduced really interesting characters with the Wizard Kings!

My favorite team up (besides the BBs ofc) had to be Fue, Nozel, Yami, and Yuno. Not only because 3/4 are my faves (I’ll admit Nozel is growing on me 👀) but because it was so interesting to see, I mean, we’ve seen Nozel and Fue team up before, but we haven’t really seen them team up with either Yami or Yuno. At least not that I can remember. Also we never got to see Yami and Yuno team up with each other either, so that was really fun and exciting to see 😁!

I also LOVED Mereo’s fight against FunnyBunny in the desert, like, it was so awesome to see! I’m glad we got to see just how much Mereo’s squad and brothers mean to her as well and how they give her strength to keep fighting, it really warmed my heart 😭! Also FunnyBunny has my favorite magic out of the Wizard Kings besides Conrad, it just looks so cool 😱’

The BB’s fight was sooo great too! Like the Ice mage’s Chapel and spells were really interesting to me 👀, and I loved the different team ups between the Bulls (like Magna and Gordon, Zora, Nero, and Luck) and how it shows just how great they all worked as a team! NOELLE WAS SO AMAZING THO!! Like we got to see her kick some serious butt against that old guy and just show off how cool her Valkyrie armor is 😁👏!

And I gotta shout out Grey because she showed off her transmutation magic and was absolutely great 🥺, I also loved the “blink and you’ll miss it” moment with her and Gauche 🥰!

I also love the contrast between Asta and Conrad, like, they’re so similar but so different. Asta could have easily become like Conrad if he let all the hate and discrimination that the Nobles and Royals threw at him get to him, but also what happened to Conrad’s family and friends contributed to that mindset too 😅.

WE GOT NACHT and LIEBE CAMEO’s!!! AAAAAHHHHH I WAS SO HAPPY WHEN I SAW THEM LIKE 😭😭💕💕💕!! ALSO WE GOT TO SEE LEOPOLD BEING COOL AND FIGHT AGAINST ONE OF THE WIZARD KINGS!

And finally…I NEED MORE LORE ON THE WIZARD KINGS LIKE??? I NEED IT, WHAT WERE THOSE SMALL GLIMPSES OF THE PAST? WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM, WHY WERE THEY ALL STRIPPED OF THEIR RANK?? DID THE ICE MAGE KNOW NOELLE SOMEHOW?? I NEED TO KNOW PLEASE I BEG OF YOU 😭😭😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏🙏!!!!

My only gripes would be that we didn’t get to see much of Julius and that sometimes I got dizzy and i actually had to close my eyes at one point 😅. But that’s really my only gripes.

Now onto my mother 👀!

Firstly; She thinks Conrad is a cheaty cheaty cheater who does nothing but cheat 😆! She finds Jester annoying af, she said FunnyBunny was Black Clover’s Erza Scarlet, and…she didn’t have any opinions on the Ice Mage other than she felt he was related to Noelle in some way 😅!

She felt the movie was very disappointing, and I think her main problem was with the storyline and character development.

She said it was her least favorite and, in her opinion, the least interesting. She felt that she couldn’t really connect with the bad guys and that the good guys didn’t really “earn” their win since they didn’t get any power upgrades or anything, which is understandable. I think if the movie had been broken up into episodes and more was able to be shown that she would have liked it more 🤔.

She did have parts of it she liked tho! Mainly with Mereo (she is my moms favorite BC female character) 😆.

She loved when Mereo was first shown and said quote: “Yeah She doesn’t play around, she will not hesitate to kick your ass” 😆! She also loved when Mereo grabbed Sekke by the head before he could run away “He deserved it!” was her reasoning as to why she liked it.

And finally she found it HILARIOUS when Grey turned the Ice into Water and Magna began surfing and just randomly said “Alright here we go!”.

I don’t know why she found it so funny, and in turn so did I, but I think it was because of how his VA said it 😆!

Anywho, that's just our opinion. I liked it. Mom didn’t. It happens 😅!

#black clover #black clover spoilers #black clover sword of the wizard king #lyra’s rambles #black clover talks #black clover sword of the wizard king talks #i liked it very much tbh!

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bluiex · 1 year

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“You said I could join the Clockers, right?” Grian asked with a tentative smile to Scar. The red glasses on him gleaming, the feeling of being prey.

Scar had never once scared Grian, not in the desert, not on the mountain, not even when he left him again and again in the cake. But this time, it felt different. To watch as he smiled kicking the TNT down to his body. To watch him hold that pufferfish and grin with all sharp teeth as he chased them. Again and again the sword hit his jacket and skin. To the point he wasn’t sure if he hat was on him was black stain or blood.

He’s never been on the receiving end before.

Scar smiled slowly “I did, didn’t I?” It phased as a question now, looking at Grian with amused eyes. “Why you ask? Leaving Joel already?”

Grian looked sheepish, “well losing Jimmy didn’t do so well on him. He refuses to listen to me, and is really gunning for you.”

A casual shrug “Maybe he’s jealous. He really does like you Grian… which is amusing as I’m not the one he has the contend with.” Scar said with a wave of his hand. Wistful and shrugging off this statement like it was nothing.

Thought it left Grian confused, “Jealous of you? Scar we are just friends and you did kill him a lot.”

The silence was thick in the air, as Scar gave Grian a raised eyebrow and bland stare. “Oh?” It was hallow, echoing from the chest. “I tried to warn him as much, but guess he was so blinded by pretty feathers… ah well” a head tilt “I know that feeling.”

The confusion only grows “Scar What are you in about?” He could feel the frustration there “look Joel might die soon and I’m looking for a new alliance to go to. You’re great friends with Scott and he’s been doing great-“

“And that’s the problem Grian. You don’t see alliances as friends nor even enemies.” Scar’s voice grew harsh around the edges “you see them as expendable.”

The word was spat with venom and coldness. As Scar narrows his eyes. “Or does the love only matter when you’re the one giving it?” He asked him.

“Scar it was just-“

But this was cut off by Scar looking away and humming. “Why don’t you go join the Nosey Neighbors. BigB might be happy to see you again, after all you’ve been ignoring him. No one likes to be ignored Grian.” He said with a smile.

“What?” Grian laughed a bit “Scar I don’t think they’d just let me join.”

Scar kept walking as Grian called out again “But what if I want to join your team?!” He asked.

A pause at this, the striped shirt shifted in the moonlight. Grian felt hope for a moment, he’s have an alliance that was stable at least, and maybe he could make it work-

“Maybe I’m already long over us Grian? Enough to say, I don’t want you.” Scar said over his shoulder.

The red glasses hid Scar’s eyes from Grian. He could see what he thought. He could see Scar… he could see him. As Scar looked away and left into the tree line to head home.

Leaving Grian alone.

This was fun to write. My personal headcanon is Scar has long been over Grian. Enough to hit him back. But Grian still isn’t over Scar, even if he says he is.

BEAUTIFUL. Scar rejecting Grian is always gonna be my fave in Life Series scenerios evolving around their fallout

I love seeing everyone making Scar so over Grian for it too. It fuels my soul

#bluie gets an ask poggers #ficlet

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vital-spirit · 4 months

Text

OFFSCREEN POST

Ghosts from One’s Past: Part Two

Lucario’s aura sensors flare out in panic. “Ma! No! She’s–” but Boltund doesn’t listen, continuing to fawn over Bingo. “What is she, a Lillipup? Just like ya father… Well, what he was when I met him, at least. He’s a strong and handsome Stoutland now! Just like I’m sure she’ll be someday!”

Boltund sits down on her hind legs and reaches out her front paws to grab Bingo’s face. It takes her a few tries, the mist covering her eyes seeming to obstruct her vision, but she figures it out eventually.

“How old are you? What’s ya mother like? Is she here? Here as in travellin’ with ya. I should meet her! Lucario you neva’ tell ya mother what’s goin’ on with ya, and here you are with my GRANDCHILD!” She is enamored by Bingo.

Bingo blinks as her cheeks are squished between the older Pokemon’s paws, “‘m fourteen and I dunno what my ma is like–?”

Boltund sighs. “Aw, ya poor thing!” she says gently before whirling around to face Lucario as she stands up. “LUCARIO! HOW DID YA FUCK THINGS UP WITH THAT WOMAN!”

Lucario’s eyes go wide. “THERE WAS NO WOMAN!” Boltund pauses. “Oh!” she’s quiet for one beautiful moment, before she bursts out again, “LUCARIO! HOW DID YA FUCK THINGS UP WITH THAT MAN!”

“THERE AIN’T NO MAN EITHER! I FOUND HER IN THE DESERT TWO MONTHS AGO WITH AMNESIA!” Lucario yells out before looking at the Pokemon at the front desk. The Cursola running the inn locks eyes, before quickly looking away.

Boltund turns back to Bingo, although she’s slightly off in the direction. “Awww, ya poor thing! Do ya wanna hear embarrassin’ stories ‘bout my son?”

“MA!”

“QUIET! How ‘bout I tell ya about his first mission in Harbor Town!”

“Oh,” Bingo perked up, a bit of a mischievous smile on her lips, “Yes actually, I’d love that!”

Lucario pins his ears back. “Ma please, my dignity–” but Boltund does not listen to him. “I’ll get to ya, when I get to ya! Don’t think y’ain’t gettin’ an earful ‘bout this, Lucario!” Boltund snaps at him before returning to addressing Bingo. “It all started the day after Team Always– That was Lucario’s old team name back at The Guild– formed! Their team leader, Gothita at the time, picked an easy job for them! They were helpin’ to hand out notices for a charity bake sale The Guild was runnin’ which shouldn’t have been a problem, until Riolu– Now Lucario– and another one of their teammates, Pawniard– now Bisharp– had the bright idea t-”

Lucario scrambles to start pushing Boltund towards the door to the inn the second she mentions Bisharp. “Alright ma! That’s it, that’s enough! Let’s pack it up now! You said we needed to have a conversation. Let's go do that now! In private! Far away from Lillipup! Where you cannot tell her any stories!”

Boltund drops into a sitting position, kicking her legs out and struggling against Lucario pushing her away. “I ain’t done yet!” she yells, sliding across the wooden floor out the building. She immediately begins yelling out the story, not willing to be silenced. “Riolu and Pawniard decide they’re going to race to see who can hand out the most fliers! Now, this wouldn’t have been an issue, if they told Gothita they were going to do it! She thinks they’ve gotten themselves kidnapped and runs back to The Guild and when we can’t find them, we start blocking off the streets–”

“LILLIPUP, GET THE ROOM FOR ME, OKAY?” Lucario yells over Boltund, pushing her outside and away. “–so the wire ends up bein’ left out close to the street, with the buckets of glue just a little bit away–” Boltund continues speaking until she can no longer be heard.

Bingo stands in the lobby of the inn, staring out the door before nervously glancing over towards the Pokemon at the counter, her ears and tail drooping. She was in charge of picking and renting the room. Oh no.

Part Two: Scene End.

#pkmn irl #pokeblog rp #rotomblr #the story thus far #pmd irl #desert whispers #offscreen post #the middle of nowhere

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gritsandbrits · 2 years

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Last week we published a letter sent to us by the former magnus of Cybertron, Sentinel Prime. Today we're here with another piece written by him. TW for mention of addiction&health problems

Wow! I had no idea so many people loved reading my dumb letter! Well I guess one more won't hurt. I have so much to talk about, but it's been a rough winter here so unfortunately my time is limited. This isn't as long as I want it to be but eh! I had enough of getting what I wanted anyways.

First things first: why did I call it a memoir if it's not a full book? Well, calling it a letter sounds too boring. You know me I love a little bit of grandiose! Heh, I'm thinking maybe after this I might write a whole book. Or Two or three?

Another thing I want to clear up is my health. I don't feel comfortable talking about it but I feel like mentioning it here. Chief Burns told me I was suffering from an addiction. My inability to limit myself & personal pains drove me to gouge bottle after bottle. He helped me through my withdrawal. It was hell, but I'm alive. My T-shift is fragged up so I have trouble switching between modes. Ratchet said I might have to go to physical therapy or even surgery to have it fixed. At least I still have my chin in tact thank the Allspark. Also so please stop lying about me having died in Chicago. It's fragging annoying.

Living on that rock gave me a lot of time to reflect. I didn't know just how much baggage I was carrying until it was too late. Even now I wonder if it had been better if I was the one left on Archa-7 instead of Elita. At least I knew she would've gotten the help she needed. I don't know her whereabouts but wherever she is I hope she's safe. I still think about her often, how I played a part in how horrible her life turned out. I've blamed Optimus for it because I was afraid to face my own guilt. As a result I straight up became a monster.

I have to admit getting kicked off Cybertron was one of the best things to ever happen to me. I got so tired following every rule and protocol. Of being scared of breaking the rules and ending up in jail. Though I admit I hated every second of living on that deserted island. At first, I wanted to run away so bad but doing so would've gotten me into even more trouble. So I had to do what I could to survive even if it meant getting risk of infection. But also the Burns family were really nice, which was odd given how I almost destroyed their planet. We didn't get off on a good start either, though I realize that was just them enforcing personal boundaries. They weren't letting me walk all over them!

Me and Optimus still talk on occasion but we're not friends anymore. We're simply too different now, plus I've been a huge prick to him for years. It was only a matter of time before he got sick of my shit. That's one of the hardest lessons I had to learn. No one wants to put up with you if you treat them any kind of way even if you are friends.

We grew up together. Practically came from the same factory! We lived in the same district had the same classes. We all thought we were going to be part of the same team in the Elite Guard. But after that horrible day, everything went downhill between us. Optimus was kicked out and I was left all alone. I was so lonely, but I didn't want to be pitied. I hated the pitying stares from classmates, the questions kept getting thrown my way. So I put all my focus on gaining rank. You can't think about grief when you're too busy.

Eventually I got to be an instructor in boot camp. Funny I didn't even like doing boot camp but I too the job anyways. With Optimus gone I needed something to vent my anger out on. Even if it meant taking it out on the cadets. No one really questioned it because to them, I was merely doing my job toughing them up for future conflicts. Of course that doesn't excuse they way I treated them either. If I wasn't so blind, I would have found out Longarm was a traitor. I only took up Bumblebee's word because I knew catching a spy would put me on the map as a loyal Autobot. And it worked.

After learning the truth, and seeing the monster Wasp(inator) became due to my selfish actions, I feel like fragging garbage! I have that to answer for as well. I have plenty to answer for and a lot to apologize to. I'm not owed forgiveness the least I can do is stay out of everyone's business. I just hope Wasp(inator) doesn't come after me!

Back to Optimus. At some point I stopped seeing his as a friend and more as a threat to my power. I didn't want to listen to him because I felt he was just going to repeat the same mistakes like last time. But he was looking out for me still. Even as I hurt him and his team, he still saw something in our relationship worth salvaging. But my plans in trying to ruin two planets in the name of safety broke our friendship. He deserves a better friend than me anyways. We may have been old pals at the Academy, but that's all in the past now. The distance helped me look at him in a different light he wasn't his mistakes. He was just...himself. Being apart also helped me focus on bettering myself as well. Our relationship is on the mend but we both been focusing in ourselves and our other friends. That's another lesson: you can still focus on yourself without being a selfish prick. Thank the allspark I got that latter part out of my systems.

I know you must despise me for confessing to all these crimes but, like I said before I'm not sugarcoating anything. The last thing I want is to go back to being the world's little victim. What I hope readers can take away from my story is life has a funny way of changing so don't get used to comfort! Also, grief is not a magic get-out-of-exile free card. It's just something we all have to live with. The world doesn't stop for you but also, you have the power to change how to live in it.

I hate to end it here but they're calling me right now. They need someone to unblock road leading to the state park. Looks likes job for the best snowplow in the galaxy 😉

- signing out, Sentinel.

#memoir of a former magnus #tfa sentinel prime #transformers #transformers animated #maccadam #short story #fanfiction #post canon #tfa season 4 #no beta we die like bayverse ironhide #transformers fanfiction #not ship #tfa optimus prime #crossover #rescue bots #tfa

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pastelitey · 8 months

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It's technically still the first day of the fandom appreciation week thing, right? Any future or headspace ideas you would like to share?

hii i'm so honored to be sent one of these, thank you so much! <3

i have. um. a lot of headspace ideas that i have yet to finish/polish, but i hope to put out there eventually! here's just 3 of the many fics i have in my drafts rn

1. Storyteller(a.k.a the Scarian immortal AU)

premise here is that Grian and Scar are immortals, via the Fountain Of Youth, but have spent their very long periods of existance tracking the other down and making their life miserable. this fic was heavily inspired by Amal El-Mohtar's This Is How You Lose The Time War, and i want to replicate the poetic and ethereal-esque feeling of that novella with this fic. unfortunately that will probably be my demise and lead me to never finishing the fic, but a girl can dream!

very heavily based off of 3rd life, a Renchanting & Desert Duo based AU where Grian and Martyn have to work together to cure the spell of madness that has befallen King Ren, and is affecting the entire kingdom through him. in this AU names hold power, Fae-style, so every character has a pseudonym(The Hand for Martyn, The Con Man for Scar, etc.) and Grian, mysteriously, knows everyone's true names. i have a lot planned for this AU involving complicated, layered mysteries, lots of plot twists, and two sequels! the main thing holding me back is i need to do my Renchanting research, so if anyone wants to volunteer to educate me on them i would very much appreciate it!

2. Glass Desert AU

3. Trading Curses

Team Rancher/Solidaritek based fantasy AU, in which Tango has a gambling problem and manages to rope Jimmy into accompanying him on a quest, lest Tango become indebted to some pretty dangerous people. this fic has been my most recent hyperfixation so i've been flushing out the story a lot, and i love what i've come up with so far. the plot twists in this one are no joke, and there's one big reveal i have planned that i have a feeling will be a big hit with readers. if, you know, i ever get around to writing it!

i've been eager to get my hands on a new project ever since finishing off pick me up, take me home so hopefully i can start working on one of these fics soon. but i just started at a new job and this semester of college has been kicking my ass so far, so it might be a little while before i come out with anything new.

thank you so much for sending this ask! i will absolutely take any chance i can to ramble about my fics, lol. if anyone wants to hear any more about any of these premises, please don't be afraid to ask! <3

#elodie speaks #my writing #fanfic appreciation week 2024 #mine

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electrasev5nwrites · 1 year

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Ninja Daily: Vapors 40

"My Rival!" Gai bellowed, barreling up and verbally assaulting the poor man as he crossed the village boundaries (covering ground so speedily that the road was filled with unfortunates choking on the dust he kicked up). Kakashi slumped a little, thumb twitching imperceptibly on his book's open page. Luckily, the motion was invisible from Gai's point of view. "I must speak with you!" A little yellow songbird took off from his perch on the gates at top speed. The Chuunin manning the entrance desk seemed to agree, one of them muttering, "Oh god," and the other covering his face with his hands as if in shame.

Gai merely beamed at him, giving no sign that he noted those things at all.

It wasn't often that Gai initiated conversation instead of challenges, so Kakashi was mildly interested. Still, there was a procedure to these things. Kakashi turned the page from the lovely illustration he had been admiring, despite not having finished reading the accompanying words. He knew what it said anyways. After a few moments, he looked up, feigning mild surprise.

"Oh, it's you. Did you say something?"

It quickly became clear that Gai actually had something to say, because he only wept manly tears for a few moments before snapping into a 'Good Guy' pose. He had to hustle into motion to catch up with Kakashi, who hadn't stopped walking in the first place.

"It's about your student."

Kakashi seamlessly slipped his book away and actually looked at the man who was probably his closest living friend. "Oh?" The opening was noncommittal, but the very fact that he'd engaged in conversation proved he was interested.

"While you were out on a mission, she sought me out for supplementary taijutsu training!" Sunlight pinged painfully off his slightly smug smile.

'Damn,' Kakashi thought in surprise, 'That's a point to Gai, isn't it?' He was mildly put out with Aiko. Even he knew it was pretty rude to seek help from another teacher. But she didn't seem the type to intentionally disrespect him. Had he been neglecting her growth? There seemed to be no need to rush. She had plenty of time. Her career was only beginning, and she was already an exemplary Chuunin.

"She seemed concerned about something. I fear that she needs your direction and guidance, so that her youthful abilities may be best honed!"

He'd made a good try to curb his enthusiasm and only really started to shout towards the end, a concession Kakashi appreciated. It illustrated the awkwardness that Gai was feeling about having a conversation on a somewhat personal level. Kakashi was feeling it as well.

Their friendship was mostly expressed through a series of subtle psychological games and one-upmanship in their professional lives. Their personal lives rarely entered into conversation.

That was largely because it was obvious that Gai won those interests hands down and he wasn't interested in categorically humiliating his 'Eternal Rival'. He had happy, successful family from a civilian clan in town who were ridiculously proud of their only shinobi relative, a close emotional bond with his apprentice, many friendships, and occasional romantic entanglements with shinobi and civilians alike.

Kakashi had a deserted family compound he couldn't stand to look at, a few children he desperately wanted to protect on basis of their relationships to dead team members (all but one of which had been taken from his protection) and a fifteen year relationship with his hand. And Kage bunshin. And Icha Icha. And that ridiculously assertive, grabby girl from that bar in Snow with the huge— well, the point was that he'd never had a real romantic relationship that extended beyond sex.

So this conversation was downright unprecedented, despite the way they were desperately trying to act as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

"I see," he muttered, mind already miles away cataloguing what Aiko might be worried about. Had she caught wind of the increase in border problems and wondered if she was going to be deployed without him soon?

That thought stopped him in his tracks for a moment, genuinely not noticing whatever Gai was babbling about anymore. It was possible that Aiko had come to that conclusion, and frighteningly likely that she'd be right. He'd been assigned to more and more high level missions lately that she just didn't have the clearance for. His refusal to allow her promotion meant that she had been barred from his most dangerous missions (making it hard to keep an eye on her), but it also generally kept her off of rosters that her abilities couldn't handle. But that could change if these skirmishes broke into something more serious.

As of now, she was not ready to be in dangerous situations without his protection. She was trained as a tracker without the dogs to back up the retrieval aspects of the specialty, not a front lines combat specialist. She used poison and precision weaponry as her primary weapons and taijutsu as a fall back.

Unless she got assigned to some sort of ambush squad (an unlikely prospect, seeing as the problem was ambush warfare directed at Konoha's allies), Aiko was thoroughly unsuited to straight combat in war-like conditions. At best, she was prepared for dealing with small squads, but that preparedness was more due to her creativity than raw hitting power. She had that sword, of course, but she needed experience that she couldn't get from training to be really good at it.

That lack of front line ability was a problem, he noted darkly. Did she need backup more than she needed an increase in hitting power? Her brother had the Rasengan and the Kyuubi, setting him up as a frontline specialist. Aiko doted on Naruto and would almost certainly follow him wherever he went. It was almost a shame he didn't dare try to pass Chidori down onto his apprentice. She wasn't nearly skilled enough with lightning transformation for him to risk teaching that to her.

Then again, he had invented the Chidori himself with a shape and nature transformation. Perhaps he could adapt it for a water nature… It wouldn't have the cauterizing effect that the lightning natured Chidori did, however. That was one of the best traits for his jutsu—the brutal heat actually prevented excessive bleeding by burning the flesh even as it speared. It was an ugly way to die, of course, reducing the torso to shredded meat almost instantly, but it didn't give much time to suffer or excessive blood spatter that might restrict his vision and choke him.

A water transformation could cut in the same way, of course, he mused. If it was agitated enough it could generate enough cold to coagulate and reduce hot blood spatter by rapidly cooling it as the shape transformation element pierced flesh, but it wouldn't be as neat as chidori.

But it would be possible to make a powerful technique with a lot of hitting power that Aiko could easily use multiple times, since it was her original chakra nature, she had tons of chakra, and plenty of experience with low level water jutsu. Her cutting bullets actually utilized a similar hard-edge idea, of course, though on a much smaller scale…

He found his student on the training field Gai usually used. Kakashi repressed a flinch at what she was doing—punching posts was almost counterproductive for a kunoichi like Aiko. The scarring that resulted from extensive repetition would limit her dexterity.

'Maybe I should have given her something else to work on,' he thought guiltily. It was very unlike her to ask for help, however. His apprentice was so independent –bordering on secretive- that it hardly occurred to him to do more than help with whatever project she had decided on, aside from training her to track.

Perhaps it had been influence from her peers (who were gaining ability at a shocking rate that caused gossiping that even Kakashi couldn't avoid hearing) that sent her in search of guidance. Naruto was learning toad summoning and powerful attacks, Sasuke was learning slug summoning and a terrifying lightning release used for altering heartbeats and scrambling nerve signals (elemental medical techniques were something Kakashi had never quite trusted), and those two girls she lived with were both gaining a reputation for wandering out with little snakes on their arms that they… had… summoned.

'Ah. In retrospect, this seems like an obvious conclusion.'

In a way, it was obvious. But it was also totally counterintuitive to think of ever passing down his contract. After all, it had traditionally been in the Hatake line, and he had no children or plans to acquire them. On the other hand, it was also traditional to pass on even family techniques to personal apprentices. It would also go a long way toward improving her combat abilities. Many of his packmates were B-class fighters on their own (almost all of them but stubby little Pakkun, actually, who was the brains, an excellent tracker, and a personal friend). Working together, they were truly formidable. They wouldn't quite replace him, but his pack would ensure that she was never alone when he couldn't be there.

Now that he knew what he would teach her while he worked out the kinks of his elemental transformation idea, Kakashi shun-shined into her view and simultaneously stopped suppressing his chakra signature. It was too cold to lurk anyways. The wind was really going that day, tugging at his trousers as if it wanted to rip them right off. He much preferred the heat.

Aiko noticed him immediately, her next blow faltering. She cringed when she hit the pole, but doggedly kept on as she had no doubt been instructed. Kakashi flickered right beside her and gently stopped the next blow, twisting her wrist slightly to examine her hand.

He had to sigh at the angry, mangled skin he saw when he unwrapped the bandages inadequately protecting her hand. "Aiko, go to Sasuke and have these calluses healed up. You can't afford that. Your technique and hitting power seem to have improved, however," he added to soften the criticism.

It was true. His student had never worked extensively to improve her raw physical strength, but he'd never thought it especially crucial. She tended to put on lean muscle even when doing workouts that had bulked him up, making her petite and agile. Unless she had a very surprising growth spurt, she wouldn't have Kushina's raw hitting power. She'd been even stronger than Minato, who had not been a frail flower by any means. It was a little odd, since Naruto gained hard muscle like Kushina. Aiko must be a throwback to Minato's mother.

He'd never met her, of course, but she must have been a petite, curvy woman. Aiko had always been such a skinny thing, but lately- No. He shied away from that mildly traumatizing thought. He wasn't ready to deal with a teenage girl. If he said it wasn't happening, then it wasn't happening. There was definitely no puberty happening on his goddamn watch.

Kakashi did not look at his apprentice at all. "After you have those healed, meet me back on our training grounds. I have something to teach you, starting tonight".

She might get it in one night, actually. The actual theory of summoning was simple. The hard part was developing working relationships with your contract holder, but his ninken were all trained professionals who would help Aiko as a favor to him if nothing else. If he never passed on the contract at all, their warrior caste would probably have to disperse further than they already had into other professions, and ninken were proud people in their own way. He was certain he could persuade them to accept another summoner, even if it was unconventional.

While she was gone, he called up Pakkun and explained the situation and acquired permission. It would have been embarrassing to find out with her there that they refused to take a summoner outside of the family the contract had originally been made with, after all. There was no point in accidentally humiliating the girl, after all. Luckily, Pakkun agreed nonchalantly. They were outlining how things would work out when Aiko gracefully touched down in the clearing, eyes brightening visibly at the sight of Pakkun.

'Oh, yes,' Kakashi remembered. 'She's liked the dogs since the first time she saw them.' He gave Pakkun a skeptical look. He was a full-grown adult with grown puppies, begging for belly rubs from a little girl. Shameful, was what it was. Pakkun let his tongue loll out in a way that Aiko apparently found cute, but Kakashi knew was a rude gesture directed at him. 'Either she really likes animals in general, or she's easily impressed.'

He didn't seriously mean that, of course. Pakkun was an excellent ninken, and he had adorable soft paws that had captivated Kakashi as a child. (shinobi or not, toddlers were allowed to cuddle puppies, he'd insisted when his father and later Minato-sensei had tried to tell him ninken were not toys.)

"Alright, that's enough." Pakkun gave him a betrayed expression, but Aiko obediently stopped and looked up at him for more directions.

He liked that about her, Kakashi mused. Naruto and Sakura had always been distractible (and the thought was painful, he'd gotten a twelve year old killed and Naruto had been taken away) and Sasuke had always been insolent. If Tenzo wasn't quite so pathetically eager to please, Kakashi might have rated him as highly as Aiko on the 'favorite subordinates' list, but his cute little kohai didn't have Aiko's sharp tongue and humor. He was fun to tease, though. That crush was adorable, even though it was hilariously misplaced.

"Good news, Aiko-chan. Pakkun has agreed to let you sign the ninken contract."

It was a conscious effort not to chuckle when her jaw dropped. He took a moment to savor the surprise on her face. Then he frowned, struck by a thought. Was it really so surprising that he would teach her something of his own volition? He was her shishou, wasn't he? He'd taught her plenty of things unprompted, like… Like…

Kakashi scrunched up his face in thought, features safely hidden behind his mask. Hmm.

With a deep sigh, Pakkun rolled over and put his little paws on the ground. "I'll be right back with the contract," he grumbled, giving Kakashi a pointed look that implied there would be stern words if he interfered with a belly rub again. Then he cancelled the summoning and poofed away.

Suddenly alone with his student, Kakashi dropped effortlessly to the grass with casually folded legs and patted a spot relatively close to his side absentmindedly before poking around in his little pouch for a brush. He pulled one with a frayed, bent end out victoriously, but-

"Aiko, do you have any ink?"

She must have, because she wordlessly reached into her little leg holster and withdrew—a scroll? He didn't have time to comment on her odd habit of sealing everything up even when in the village, because that was when he felt the tug that indicated Pakkun was yanking on their connection. Kakashi sped through the motions to summon the pug again once more, and then immediately shot his hand up to catch the scroll that Pakkun tossed at him.

A lesser man might have winced at the toothprints on the delicate, painted material, but he was well used to those. It was best not to even think about his poor woodwork. Even a hyper intelligent ninken was still a dog when it came to things that needed to be chewed on just for the principle of it. Or things that tasted good, or moved interestingly, or had a funny shape…

"Thank you," he said absently, unrolling the contract reverently. It wasn't an especially long one, not as far as family contract went. That damn cat scroll for those twitchy Uchiha had been signed for something like fifteen generations straight, for example. (His dad's partner had never shut up about it, growling at the slightest hint of the clan's traditional summon partners). But his gaze still softened at his father's and grandmother's signatures, along with a great-uncle he'd never known. He hadn't seen those names in a long time.

Pakkun wiggled up onto Aiko's lap, nudging at her slack hand with his boxy head. "You're going to have to eventually find your own pack," he rumbled. His left paw dug into her leg pleadingly, and his eyes shut in happiness when she scratched at his ear. "Ah, that's the spot. Anyways, I'm getting too old to commit to another summoner. Boss keeps me busy enough. But we'll work for you until you have time to meet some other puppies who need a partner."

"I appreciate that." Aiko smiled down at the dog, and Kakashi had to look away uncomfortably. She didn't usually smile like that. She looked disconcertingly like Kushina with that uncharacteristic grin.

"Right." He gently placed the contract in front of her. "Once you've signed, I'll go over the summoning seals with you. It shouldn't take you too long to figure that out."

She leaned over as best as she could without disturbing the pug in her lap. His enormous brown eyes were intent on the scroll, despite his apparent smugness about getting snuggled. This would be the first time he'd seen the scroll open, much less signed. He'd been a tiny puppy when Kakashi had signed it in his boyhood, and they'd grown up together.

Aiko's scrawl was hasty but showed a steady hand and technical perfection, he noted. A carryover trait from practicing seals, perhaps? He'd never mastered seals, in large part because his handwriting was a horrifying chicken scratch that had actually made Minato-sensei cry once. When he consciously worked at it, it was less terrible… but then again, the messy handwriting frustrated that paperwork Chuunin and made him turn the most amusing colors and get so angry he'd unintentionally use Big-Head-No-Jutsu.

As she finished the last character and lifted the brush, the ink she had just used crackled and shone red for just a moment, before settling back down. He blew on it to be sure, but it had dried. That meant…

"Well, congratulations," he eye-smiled at his baffled looking apprentice. "Looks like you've been deemed worthy. Now, shove Pakkun off your lap and pay attention." The little dog tumbled off with a pout before she could move him and grabbed the scroll in his teeth.

"See if I help you again," he muttered, tossing the scroll up and catching it again to get a better grip.

"Be sure to tell everyone that she's practicing, would you?"

"Yeah, yeah. Doubtless they already know." Pakkun snorted, mumbling slightly around the paper in his mouth. "You shoulda heard old Grandma bark when I asked for the contract. 'That good-for-nothing finally had a puppy?" he mimicked in an old, wheezy voice. Then he disappeared.

Aiko appeared to be valiantly resisting saying something, possibly a question about that last statement. Kakashi saw no need to explain. Grandmother Dog meant it in the best possible way, he was sure. Aiko would probably never meet her anyways. If she did, however, she would understand.

"Pay attention." He carefully formed the first seal. Aiko wordlessly mimicked him. "When you start building up chakra depends on who you're summoning, but you also vary who you're calling by thinking of who you need. For example, you don't need to use chakra at all until the last two seals to get Pakkun. I can't tell you how much, though, you'll have to figure it out through trial and error."

The new skin on her hands was oddly pink and pulled slightly, but she was too happy to care. Karin gave her an odd look when she flounced into the house humming aloud that Aiko didn't acknowledge. Sure, she'd been crabby and grouchy for the last few weeks (two weeks in-village with Gai had turned into 19 days, which was approximately 18 days longer than her poor body could handle.)

Even her good mood couldn't drown out the screaming of every muscle in her body, so she turned on the hot water in the traditional tub and shook in bath salts that would help mitigate that pain before stripping and rinsing off with the bucket.

It was the same thing she'd been doing since the second day of working out with Gai and Lee. It was a little shameful that a genin could give her such a work out. She could beat him, of course, but not head-on, and the whole point of going to a taijutsu master was to improve her most critical skill, not scheme to outsmart a fifteen year old boy. Lee's overwhelming focus on exclusively taijutsu had turned him into an absolute monster. She wasn't at all ashamed to admit that the phrase 'Genius of Hard Work' actually did fit.

She'd been joining them on their second workout session every day. Neji and Tenten apparently only tolerated them enough for one workout per day, and spent the rest of the time developing their personal abilities.

'Come to think of it, I've never seen Tenten use taijutsu,' she realized. Aiko had to laugh at herself a bit when she figured out that she'd subconsciously assumed the girl avoided it because she was no good at it. Not a chance in hell, not with those two as workout partners (not to mention yet another taijutsu specialist, Neji) for going on three years now.

Of course, because she had just gotten comfortable, the laws of the universe dictated that there would be a knock on the door. she sunk up to her chin in the water, hoping Karin would be civilized enough to answer it for once.

She was, but unfortunately a moment later Karin called out, "Aiko, Ino is here to see you."

Aiko groaned quietly, letting her head thud back against the side of the tub. "I'll be right out," she projected her voice to carry and stood up. Somewhat sullenly, she toweled dry and pulled on a house yukata, wrapping her hair up in the towel as she pushed the door open with her foot and padded out.

"Hello, Ino."

The girl in question gave her a mildly embarrassed look that Aiko immediately pegged as strange. Ino wasn't body shy, was she? Then she noticed the short pile of books in the burlap bag wrapped around Ino's wrist.

"Oh, right. You're returning those, then?"

Ino nodded, averting her eyes. "Yes, they were great." She cleared her throat. Aiko eyed the other girl curiously. Something was seriously weird with Ino today. She was never this self-conscious.

"Is something wrong?" she prodded, indicating that Ino could set the books on the table.

As she upended her bag, Ino visibly hesitated, struggling with words. Then she turned a blinding smile on Aiko. "You know, I was just thinking that you should get some of those published." She snatched 'My Neighbor Totoro' off the table. "Especially this one, I criiiied for days. Plus you could make a lot of money off of it, I know just the person to talk to," she babbled, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

"Um, thank you?" Flustered, Aiko just took the suggestion as a compliment. Well. It wouldn't be a terrible idea. Books and ideas were meant to be shared, after all, and she wasn't so morally upright that she would turn down a source of income. She killed people for a living, which sort of made the relative correctness of taking credit for the creation of stories from another universe seem negligible.

'Is that really was Ino was acting so weird about?' After the other girl had left, she just shook her head. 'I'll never understand some people.'

"Oh, you've got to be fucking kidding me," Shizune grumbled. She glanced around shiftily, and then hid the sheet of paper explaining the Daimyo's most recent ridiculous request at the bottom of the 'In' pile. Sasuke could be the one to break that to Tsunade. He might not even know what a request for an escort on a round of Alternate Attendance meant.

Shizune had been forced to go once. It was a long mission with no combat predicted. That wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but all the pomp, self-important speeches, and ridiculous spectacle were enough to make her want to throw up.

Essentially, the Daimyo kept his lords too poor to lead rebellions by going to visit them and 'allowing' them to host him. It invariably turned into a massive competition to out-do one another and try to impress him to curry favor. They were forever sniveling after his approval. Since the Daimyo had to personally approve all marriages between the nobles, it was difficult for them to use that most binding form of merging two families' interests. Impressing him and having his ear made it easier to sell off their children like cattle.

Shizune was not very fond of the noble class, to be honest. It was one thing to owe your undying allegiance to your lord (that was much like serving a Hokage, after all) but it was another thing altogether to dictate the lives of your adult children. It was a barbaric system. Shinobi's children were free as birds, finding love where they would. Life was too short (and also far too long) to barter your adult years to someone you didn't know in exchange for wealth that would never benefit you.

But still, Tsunade would have to send a stupidly large, grandiose force to the parade to grumble with the samurai dressed up like china dolls (the one time they were in total agreement). The Daimyo liked to occasionally remind everyone that the shinobi were his subjects, totally loyal to his interests. The show kept them from hiring Konoha nin to use against him.

'Sometimes,' she thought rather uncharitably, 'I approve of what Mist did when they got rid of their altogether.'

Sure the country had fallen apart afterwards, but that had been for unrelated reasons.

She startled a little when her kohai appeared behind her. That one was silent as the grave. Shizune pulled on a smile and turned to face him. Her perpetual good cheer was a little tiring to maintain, but it was worth it when she could make other people's days a little brighter. "Hello, Sasuke-kun. Ready to go?"

Of course he was ready to go and she had known that. Today was the first day of his pediatrics practicum. He was taking a specialty path in disease in addition to the general practitioner training Tsunade had been giving him in between rounds of paperwork. He didn't have an appointment with his little cousin today, however. They were doing their best to obscure any possible connection. No, he would see her in person for the first time two days from now.

Sasuke hadn't actually been that enthused about this career path, trepidation that she understood. Essentially, he was going to have to treat it as a very time-consuming hobby in addition to his job of becoming a combat oriented medic. He had far too much talent as a fighter to be confined to a hospital.

At least it would be an excellent intellectual exercise, as well as the perfect cover for making certain his only living relative (that he didn't want dead, was the caveat) was safe and happy. His longing for that familial connection was painfully obvious to Shizune.

She wasn't naïve enough to claim that she knew him well, but she was probably one of the two or three people living who he had let in past his barriers at all. Kakashi might have had a chance, but he just didn't have the temperament to provide a little boy what he needed.

Part of her success in getting through to him was through her remarkable restraint in not communicating that she thought he had the most adorable little grumpy face.

It was really hard not to pinch those cheeks, but she somehow managed to soldier on. Shizune was a goddamn champ.

Omake

"About damn time, boss," Pakkun growled when he looked through the summoning smoke and saw Aiko's little gloves on the ground as if she had just left for a moment.

His explanations died on Kakashi's lips and he scowled at his ninken. "That's just rude. I had a carefully considered argument plotted out."

What little he'd plotted in the four minutes since Aiko had trotted off to the hospital, anyways.

"What?" Pakkun asked, tilting his head. One of his ears flopped and smacked him in the face, so he shook his head. "I like puppies, unlike some people I know." He gave Kakashi a rude look. "You know, when I agreed to be your partner, I thought there would eventually be puppies."

"Keep dreaming," Kakashi said blandly.

#vapors #uzumaki aiko #electrasev5n #ninja daily #fanfiction #naruto fanfiction

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concerthopperblog · 3 months

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The Summer Gods Tour: Third Eye Blind, Yellowcard & A R I Z O N A

In January 2024, Third Eye Blind revealed on their Instagram that they're embarking on another Summer Gods Tour with Yellowcard & A R I Z O N A. They've 35 dates lined up and have been rocking the stage since June 8th, kicking off an unforgettable tour. On the show's day, I was excited as I drove up to the venue. In the parking lot, fans were pre-gaming before the show, playing beer pong, dancing, and having a great time. We went down to the pit after getting checked in at the gates. It was challenging to navigate the limited space and decide whether to stand with the fans or move around. I want to shout out to the other photographers who also were in attendance shooting the show. We worked together as a team to get the job done.

The band Arizona, creatively stylized as A R I Z O N A, hails from the unexpected location of New Jersey despite its desert-inspired name. This talented trio comprises Zachary Charles, Nathan Esquite, and David Labuguen. Their music blends American pop-rock and electropop, reflecting a distinct and captivating sound. Signed to Atlantic Records, their debut studio album, Gallery, was unveiled on May 19, 2017, climbing to an impressive No. 4 on Top Heatseekers. I'd go see this band again. They're not my usual style, but I liked the vibes and tunes they were playing. During their set, they played 10 songs from their discography, including their number-one hit on Spotify, "Oceans Away", “Summer Days” & “Freaking Out”.

Yellowcard is a rock band from Jacksonville, Florida, formed in 1997. The band has released ten albums to date. In August 2023, Yellowcard began a nationwide tour to celebrate the 20th anniversary of their album Ocean Avenue. Whether they are headlining or supporting another act, take a moment to listen to them if you haven't already. If you're a fan of Yellowcard, you can check out our coverage from their last tour here. Also, the band collaborated with the group Hammock to release a new album in 2024 called A Hopeful Sign. I couldn't miss seeing Yellowcard on this lineup, especially after catching them at their 20 Years Of Ocean Avenue show. The energy these guys bring is incredible. Sean Mackin jumping around playing the violin is a sight to behold, you can see the passion on his face as he plays with all his heart. They played various songs, including the new track "Transmission Home," and closed the night with the crowd's favorite, "Ocean Avenue."

Third Eye Blind is an American rock band formed in San Francisco, California, in 1993. The current lineup consists of Stephan Jenkins, Brad Hargreaves, Kryz Reid, Alex LeCavalier, and Colin Creev. Jenkins has noted that The Clash influenced him, Jane's Addiction, and Camper Van Beethoven. The band gained popularity in the 90s with their song "Semi-Charmed Life" and even won a Billboard Music Award in 1997 for Best Modern Rock Track. I was shocked when I received the email saying I was approved to take photos. I did not expect a band this large to have such a lenient photo policy. We were able to capture their entire set, which was very exciting. The band started by staying together at the back of the stage, and once the show started, they slowly came out to the front with a blast of energy. Throughout the night, they played a total of 18 songs, including “The Kids Are Coming (To Take You Down)”, “Shipboard Cook”, and the classic “Semi-Charmed Life”. Drummer Brad Hargreaves had an amazing drum solo after playing the song “Jumper”. I'll see Third Eye Blind again. Their setlist has a great mix of high-energy songs and intimate acoustic performances, creating a fantastic show atmosphere.

Hey, music fans! If you love music and don't want to miss out on the best concerts and events, then be sure to follow Concert Hopper on Instagram and Facebook. If you love Yellowcard check out our coverage from their Celebration of 20 years of Ocean Avenue Tour in 2023 (Click Here). Stay updated on our exciting journey and be the first to know about the most popular music events and concerts. Say goodbye to the fear of missing out and join our community today. Immerse yourself in the heart of the action with Concert Hopper and be a part of an unforgettable music experience!

#2024 #concert photography #Concerthopper #concert review #Review #Alternative #Alternative rock #Rock 'n' Roll #Rock Music #Rock #Third Eye Blind #Yellow Card

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egginfroggin · 1 year

Text

Final Fanatsy: Crystal Chronicles AU for Pokemon. It's been kicking around in my head for a few months -- along with all the other AUs, it really looks like a dodgeball of AUs up there -- but I never wrote it down anywhere, so now I'm both writing it down for myself and slapping you people upside the head with it.

Some things are subject to change, of course.

Also, surprise surprise, the train twins are not the main victims focus of this one! Akari and Rei/Dawn and Lucas (not sure which quite yet) are, instead.

Stuff under the cut; it got long:

The characters are from Pokemon; the geography and world map, including names, are from Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles.

Akari and Rei are caravanners from Tipa.

All ten Nobles are frenzied, and are take the places of most dungeon bosses; this does cause some changes to be made in certain areas, such as there being an oasis or spring in the Lynari Desert, where Lord Basculegion is found.

Not sure what's going on, exactly, with the Meteor Parasite, but Giratina was sealed in the Nest of Memories and is essentially the main antagonist (sorry Giratina fans, the worm is genuinely bad in this one).

The Lake Trio also resides in the Nest of Memories; they were charged by Arceus with crafting Myrrh for the humans to use, and with keeping Giratina from escaping its containment.

Mag Mell is a very odd place that Dialga and Palkia set aside in a sort of pocket dimension on the edge of Time and Space; Miasma does not exist in there, and any humans who set foot inside quickly lose all sense of spatial awareness and time.

Speaking of Mag Mell, guess where the Clans are? They're the Carbuncles, now, and are immune to Miasma as a result; they remember what the world was like before the Miasma came, and spend much of their time in slumber to prevent those precious memories from fading.

Irida's and Adaman's sleep cycles alternate; Irida is the one who's awake during the main story.

Adaman is the only Carbuncle who can sense Time properly, and Irida can sense where Crystals -- and, to a lesser extent, people -- are in Space.

Irida's ability is most useful when Sabi runs off.

Sabi and Lian never quite finished their transformation into Carbuncles -- their sleep cycles are shorter and more erratic than those of the other Carbuncles, and while they're noticeably larger than any given person from any of the four Tribes, they still look more humanoid than their fellow Carbuncles, having longer and narrower torsos and more defined shoulders and hands.

Mount Vellenge is a name given to Mount Coronet by whatever other people lived in the area at the very beginning of the age of Miasma -- most likely the Galaxy Team or other travelers. The name persisted in what few records remain of the era. Now, only the Carbuncles call it Mount Coronet.

I'm thinking that either the Galaxy Team lived in what is now Rebena Te Ra, or Rebena Te Ra is where one of the Clans lived before the Miasma came and they fled to Mag Mell. Either way, Rebena Te Ra is now home to a host of monsters, and Lord Braviary roosts at the peak of the main temple.

Wait, Rebena Te Ra could be where the Celestica lived. Hmmmm.

(This is what I mean when I say that things are subject to change; worldbuilding is simultaneously very fun and very hard)

Who else would live at Mount Kilanda but Lord Arcanine?

I mentioned in my introductory post that FFCC was one of my obsessions, but until now, I haven't done anything to really indicate that.

Well, here's your indication.

I freaking love that game. Fantastic music. Big old sandbox of a world. It was only a matter of time before I threw it at Pokemon.

I have some art for a couple of characters, which I'll toss up on here sometime.

Have a good day!

#final fantasy crystal chronicles #crystal chronicles au #pla irida #adaman pla #ffcc carbuncles #akari pla #pokemon rei #pokemon #pokemon fanfiction #egginfroggintalkin #eggin's writings #this one is out there #I'd say even more out there than my pretty incoherent misborn au

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onesunofagun · 3 years

Text

I shall now yell about Ingo, please stand by:

Ingo’s transformation from the underappreciated backbone of the ranch to an absolute ruff-wearing cantaloupe of a man is also pretty interesting (if you’re the kind of person who absorbs the Zelda series through your skin like a frog to live).

I’ve bolded the key points for skimmers.

Granted, the manga has it that Ingo just gets brainwashed by Twinrova into being a staunch follower of Ganondorf. That’s not canon, but it’s not informing any of this thinking, either way.

In the beginning of OoT we meet Talon by waking him up from a nap, and we learn pretty quickly that he’s lazy and often yelled at by his daughter for slacking off like this. Ingo at the ranch confirms again that Talon doesn’t pull his weight around there, and since Malon’s still a child, it’s pretty obvious that Ingo’s settled with the bulk of the work.

Ingo is grumpy, he’s resentful, and he complains a lot. But he does do the work, and you can find him (presumably) in the process of mucking out the stables.

Let’s examine what he does at the ranch:

Epona really liked that song... Only I could tame that horse... Even Mr. Ingo had a hard time...

Now, Epona is established in game to be a real winner of a horse. She’s fast, she’s smart, she’s got a lovely sorrel coat and white mane that seems to be quite rare or highly prized coloring. The catch is, she is notoriously wild. The only people she tolerates are Malon and Link, due in large part to being soothed by the song Malon’s mother taught her.

Ingo had to really try to crack this horse, which Malon’s observation suggests is unusual.

Epona is very young when we first see her, so it’s never really revealed if she was caught wild, or bred at the ranch with a very headstrong temperament.

Ingo’s clearly the guy that’s breaking them in, though. The most Talon is doing is... sleeping in with the cuccos. We never see any organisation of the cuccos, in terms of egg collection or poultry farming, but nevertheless, Talon has the much less physical jobs even if he was doing them. His focus seems to be cuccos, deliveries to the castle and book keeping between naps (and to be fair it’s probably a little depression related, given the dead wife).

Malon gives us a cow later on, and she’s got the egg for the crowing cucco that wakes up Talon, so I’d like to assume for simplicity’s sake that even as a kid, Malon was up at dawn most days helping Ingo with the cows and milking them. It’s never really implied that she has amazing skill in dealing with horses, just that Epona has a special connection with her specifically. Other than that, Malon is simply kind and respectful of her animals (though I’ve got no idea how she got that cow to Link’s treehouse and that’s worth investigating).

Later on, Ingo is also shown to be a competent rider. Enough that he has absolutely no qualms in challenging Link to races for wagers, and was quite confident of his ability to win.

The takeaway is, Ingo is usually VERY GOOD with both caring for and training horses, if not breeding them for the ranch.

That kind of lends to his grumbling, when he is referring to himself as ‘the Great Ingo’ and comparing himself to Talon, who is a ‘bum’. His claim to greatness may not be undeserved, at least in horse circles, and especially if he’s not getting particular credit for it, his bitterness and frustration (alongside envy, exhaustion, and dreams of recognition) would be quite deeply run.

So it seems that his friend and employer is clearly taking some advantage of him, especially after the death of Malon’s mother.

So now, let’s examine his feelings, and how he changes.

The feelings Ingo has about that are pretty textbook for the sort of thing ‘evil takes hold of and twists’, in the Zeldaverse.

Focussing on the game itself, Malon says this as an adult:

Since Ganondorf came, people in the Castle Town have gone, places have been ruined, and monsters are wandering everywhere. Mr. Ingo is just using the ranch to gain Ganondorf's favor... Everyone seems to be turning evil...

We do see other characters in Hyrule become influenced by the ‘darkness in their hearts’ as byproduct of Ganondorf’s reign.

A prominent example of a character who was visibly dissatisfied with their lot, and then notably changes (while praising Ganondorf for what he’d done), is the Castle Guard who is heavily implied to have become the Poe Dealer. Even if by some slim means it’s not the same person, the Poe Dealer does still express that they could not do the work they do without Ganon as King, and that they now benefit from him being in that position and are grateful to him.

The Kakariko Carpenters seem to have given into their fantasies about living among the Gerudo women, and gone out to the Valley and gotten themselves taken prisoner. Following work near the fortress, the team chooses to act on their selfish desires and go for broke, chasing their dreams. They weren’t previously prepared to act upon these fantasies when Link was young, admittedly much milder in their still very prominent obsession, but seven years later, they’re quite happy to risk it all and piss away the stability of their careers (and nearly their lives) at the first opportunity.

Anyway, the trend is, those across Hyrule who are unhappy with their lot before Ganondorf’s coup tend to be ‘corrupted’ by seven years later, and appear to have given in to a twisted version of whatever they most wanted.

This is noteworthy especially because the language in the game revolves around the Sacred Realm being opened and corrupted, too, by Ganondorf’s unbalanced heart and selfish goals. It is unable to be ‘sealed’ again while Link has the Master Sword. In aLttP, we know there is a mirror like effect to do with the sacred turned dark realm, in which it reflects the hearts of men.

So it is very reasonable to say, that for OoT in particular, much of this evil influence plaguing the land and preying on the darkness an people’s hearts is a result of the corruption of the Sacred Realm. It is an indirect byproduct of Ganondorf’s acquiring of the Triforce, but not necessarily something he himself does to people on purpose, unlike the brainwashing of Nabooru.

Mr. Ingo is just using the ranch to gain Ganondorf's favor... But Dad... He was kicked out of the ranch by Mr. Ingo... If I disobey Mr. Ingo, he will treat the horses so badly...

This explains a lot of the more callous and greedy behaviour that Ingo shows later on, and why it seems to disappear when he is truly humbled by Link.

Link’s win serves as a reminder of Ingo’s stagnating skill with horses, the very thing that made him feel so deserving of praise and recognition in the first place, in that for everything he now has control of at the ranch, he still cannot control that horse. He has become as much of a bum as Talon ever was, relegating Malon to do all the hard work while Ingo struts around uselessly. He’s even lost his touch with the Horses so much, in his arrogance, that now he has taken up mistreating them and using harsh and abusive methods (according to Malon’s concerns).

The humiliation and shame takes hold, his pride shattering with the loss of Epona-- not only as a valuable asset, but also as the horse he could never truly tame.

The dark feelings he was holding onto are let go of, as he regains a sense of humility, and the corruptive influence upon him dissipates. He even seeks out Talon to bury the hatchet and invite him back to the ranch.

Oh, I have to tell you about Mr. Ingo... He was afraid that the Evil King might find out that Epona had been taken away... It really upset him! But one day, all of a sudden, he went back to being a normal, nice person! Now my dad is coming back...I can't believe it, but peace is returning to this ranch!

But what about his obsession with Ganondorf in particular?

When the coup happened, Ingo watched the King of the Gerudo unwittingly play out a sort of grand parallel to what Ingo felt should happen on the ranch. To Ingo’s perception, I think Ganondorf was representing an ideal version of Ingo himself.

A man of the desert, where hard work and grit are as second nature to survive the harsh conditions. A man frustrated with the King of Hyrule’s shit, and forced to swear fealty to him despite being a King himself. A man resplendent with wealth, with fine and flashy clothes and plentiful jewelry.

And perhaps the most important note of all, the Gerudo in OoT?

They’re horse people.

They love horses. Ganondorf’s horse is reputed to be a purebred Black Gerudo Stallion, which is obviously a specialty breed, that is fully armoured and as flashy as he is. When the Gerudo cut the bridge leading to the valley, the only way in and out is to have a skilled horse jump the gap.

They also have a huge horseback archery range, and prowess in the sport is an incredible source of respect amongst the Gerudo, and many of the guards possess bladed polearms suitable for mounted use. From this, it can be assumed that during the recent civil war, Gerudo weapons, war tack and military tactics were probably built around mounted cavalry archers foremost, with a lesser focus on light and heavy cavalry aside (iron knuckle armour springs to mind).

Anyway, Horses are very important to the Gerudo in the era of Ocarina of Time.

So Ganondorf is also unique in the sense that he is the King of a people who value what it is that Ingo does very highly. He, of all people, stands to immediately recognise the knowledge and skill that Ingo possesses in rearing horses.

So this is a man who successfully stages a coup of Hyrule, who clearly inspires Ingo to do much the same of the ranch, and who Ingo also feels is very likely to take his side should he appeal the matter.

And Ganondorf does.

And if that’s not a great compliment to Ingo’s actual skill, I don’t know what is, because Ganondorf is not a man that suffers fools. He’s got a limited patience when it comes to shit that is beneath his notice. Clearly, he recognises that Ingo is indeed the backbone of that ranch-- and the main reason for the quality of its Horses-- and rewards this accordingly.

And for Ingo, being on decent terms with the big scary goth King is a very, very good place to be. But it’s more than that!

What a guy! Not only did he deliver on Ingo’s long due validation, he gave Ingo everything he’d ever dreamed of having to his name, and the authority to kick Talon to the curb. He gets it! Ganondorf, this great eight foot beacon of freshly sought divine power and topaz-encrusted glory, this absolute unit of a man, this great underdog horse-lover after Ingo’s own heart; he really understands how great Ingo is. Ganondorf is paving the way for people like them! Oh, to rub shoulders wiht such greatness when the rest of Hyrule is scorned.

Ingo feels seen. The Great Ganondorf made all that thankless time spent shovelling horse shit while Talon slept mean something. The Gerudo appreciate Ingo’s talents.

And all Ingo has to do is keep turning out really good horses, and promise to present the King with his finest.

So Ingo knows he’s in deep shit when he gets cocky and loses Epona to a wager, who at this point, he’s prepared pretty well and sunk a lot of money into on the idea that she’s going to Ganondorf.

Who he’s probably bragged to about how fast she is.

He lost her to some jerk in tights who’d barely ridden before, too. And then when Ingo tried to cheat him out of the win, the kid jumped the damned fence an in ass-bustingly cool move that really just drove home how excellent and rare Epona was.

One does not promise the King of the Gerudo a fast horse and then fail to deliver, let alone for such a stupid reason.

Honestly, by the end, the man’s just happy to be alive.

Also I’d like to think he and Talon had a much fairer delegation of work and forgave each other, each really learning to appreciate what they have and what’s really important.

how the fuck did the Kokiri leave the forest for this scene anyway, they don’t even have their faries???

#tloz #tloz oot #Ocarina of time #legend of zelda ocarina #nostalgia #ingo #malon #talon #lon lon ranch #hyrule #zelda meta #legend of zelda #gerudo #ganondorf #zelda discussion #zelda theory

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litwitlady · 3 years

Text

The 3x08 fic I was writing in case 3x08 didn’t end with Malex goodness. It’s unedited and very raw, so be gentle.

*************************

Michael sits next to Alex on his lowered tailgate and hands him a beer. It had been a long, stressful day, but they had managed to help Maria pull herself free from Jones and were well on their way to saving Max as well. “To a damn good day.”

They clink their bottles together and drink in silence as the sun sets behind the junkyard. There’s no space between them; Michael hadn’t cared to leave any. He’s no longer interested in hiding what he wants from the person he most wants. That being said, he still hasn’t figured out exactly what to say to Alex about the future he hopes for both of them, still too used to Alex running at the mention of any kind of permanence.

“We make a pretty good team,” Alex says, staring down at his boots.

“Don’t sound so surprised.” Michael knocks their shoulders together, pulling a smile from Alex.

“I’m not. Not really.” He takes a long drink, swipes at the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand. Michael watches him pick at the label on the bottle and knows he’s locked in a battle with himself. Always at war, never able to find peace.

“Figured out what you’re going to do about the whole Deep Sky thing?” They need to have this conversation. Michael doubts it will go well, but they’d put it off all day in order to get shit done. And now the shit is done.

Alex shakes his head. “I know what you want me to do. It’s just not so cut and dry for me.”

“Why not?

“Because this is how I’m useful. You all have this alien connection, these alien powers. But I don’t. I’ve got resources and that’s it.” He shrugs, his chin wobbling ever so slightly as he looks off into the desert and away from Michael.

“Last I checked, Liz didn’t have any alien powers, and she’s been plenty useful.”

Alex snorts, keeping his head turned away. “You and I and the whole world know that Liz’s brain is her superpower. Hell, she gives you a run for your money in that department.” He drinks from his beer again, sets it aside. “I know I sound pathetic, but I need to be more than just a cheerleader on the sidelines, Guerin. And Deep Sky is how I can do that.”

They fall silent again, less comfortable this time, tension building steadily until Michael’s afraid Alex will bolt. He opens his mouth to say something, to say anything to keep him from running, but Alex beats him to it.

“And I know this is a demand I’m putting on myself. I get that no one requires anything more from me than just showing up and being there or whatever.” He waves his hands around vaguely, his voice strained and cracked. “You’ll love my useless ass anyway, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to love myself. You know?”

“Yeah.” And the thing is, Michael does know. He’s always struggled with self-worth and feeling like he has to earn his place. He understands that Alex has too, just maybe in a quieter way, held deep inside unlike Michael’s volatile messiness. “I can’t fix that for you.”

“I know. And I’m working on it. I promise. It’s just not going to change overnight.” He turns back to Michael, offers him a small smile now that he’s controlled his emotions somewhat.

“Well, from one self-loathing fuck to another, me too.” He returns Alex’s smile and they both grab their beers again, taking a much-needed break from too many words spoken and shared and unable to be taken back. But regardless of the tension still sitting heavy between them, Michael feels giddy, lightheaded, full of hope.

“It’s just, you know, even Ramos didn’t choose me because of any actual skill. He chose me because an alien boy batted his eyelashes at me once and I handed over my entire life to him without question. Fall in love with an alien and get full access to Deep Sky’s darkest secrets.” He laughs, derisive and sharp. “This is too much self-pity. Sorry.”

“No need for sorry. And I’m pretty sure I never batted my eyes.” Michael considers what he’s said and struggles to find better words to say what he wants to say. And maybe that’s half the reason they have so much trouble talking, trying to find the perfect words rather than just saying what they feel no matter how bullshit it sounds. “But I do think that maybe that is your superpower, no matter how cheesy it sounds.”

Alex scoffs and kicks his foot in the dirt. “My hard-on for alien ass is my superpower?”

“No, love is. I know that sounds like a line out of a sappy 90s romcom.”

“It really does.”

“But, it’s true. You love so freely, so openly, so completely that you were able to entirely change my mind about humanity. And that is power, Alex, maybe the greatest power.” Alex looks at him, brows knitted together like he doesn’t believe a single word coming out of Michael’s mouth, lips already shaped into an argument. “And your capacity for love is made all the more amazing knowing it’s something no one ever really taught you how to do. So I’ve got to give Uncle Ed some credit; he chose you for the right reasons.”

Alex’s face crumples, his eyes shine with unshed tears, and he stares down at his hands for several beats before sliding off the tailgate and taking several steps forward. Michael’s heart races, his stomach plummets because he’s said too much, gone too far, struck a nerve best left alone. He swallows hard and girds himself for Alex’s inevitable next move now that things have gotten too raw for comfort.

But Alex doesn’t run. He stays put, still and quiet, staring down at his boots and then into the distance toward the mountains. Putting his hands on his hips, he takes several loud, steadying breaths and turns back to Michael. His cheeks are tear-streaked and there’s enough emotion left on his face to take Michael’s breath away. He hasn’t run, he hasn’t hidden himself away. So Michael reaches out his hand and tugs him back onto the tailgate.

“Since I’m on a bit of a roll,” Michael starts, pausing while Alex laughs and swipes at the tears wetting his cheeks, “you were helpful today beyond merely being ‘resource guy’. You have this knack for staying cool under pressure even when I’m spiraling into an emotional mess which made you able to see things I couldn’t. And now we have an entire alien language we need to decode and last I heard, you were a pretty good codebreaker. And if Eduardo is as good a man as you think he might be, I don’t see how it should matter if you’re in Deep Sky or not. He should help you on principle.”

Alex clears his throat and laughs again, the sound music to Michael’s ears. “When did you get so good at this?”

“I’ve been attending the Kyle Valenti School for Wayward Boys. That asshole’s really quite effective and it pisses me off to admit that.”

“I hate that about him.” They grin at each other, thankful they can joke over Valenti now that he’s safe and sound and fully under Liz’s protection. “Thank you, Michael. For everything, for today. We really do make a great team.”

“We do. And that’s what we’re going to continue to be, yeah?” He looks at Alex, catching his eye and holding on, trying to communicate beyond words now.

“Yeah.” Alex holds his gaze, and Michael knows that they’re on the same page. Finally. “You can kiss me now.”

It’s Michael’s turn to scoff. “Who says I want to kiss you?”

Alex just raises a single eyebrow and fists Michael’s jacket collar tight, yanking him forward. Michael takes the direction as always, letting Alex put him right where he wants him. The kiss is soft and lingering, a simple reconnection more than their usual carnal immediacy. But they have time now, so much time.

Michael pulls back. “Kyle Valenti only wishes he were this good.”

“Shut up, Guerin.” Alex kisses him again, smiling against Michael’s lips.

#malex #malex fic #unedited and presented as is #maybe my last reunion fic ever #not even putting this on ao3

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yourmcu · 4 years

Text

V-Day

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x reader

Summary:

You’re not like most people who enjoys Valentine’s Day. Can a certain redhead change that?

A/n: just a late valentine related imagine for all of u bc I’m incapable of posting this sort of stuff on the exact day. enjoy! (I’m finally using this iconic gif don’t mind me)

Word count: 1,753

Warnings: fluff

The 14th of February is just another normal day for you. You always find Valentine’s Day cheesy, you don’t see the point of celebrating it. That sort of thing isn’t as important as Christmas or Halloween. Not that you're bitter because you're single, you couldn’t care less about that, it just isn’t the occasion for you.

Tony outdone it this year. The compound looks like it was powdered pink and red overnight from all the decorations when you step out of your room. You almost don’t want to know what the main area looks like. Sam and Wanda are probably getting started on breakfast which would consist of everything shaped like hearts.

Your plan for the day is to stay in your room, only coming out for snack and drink refills, simple as that.

“Hey, Happy Valentine’s...” you pretty much tone out every v-day greeting that came your way, rolling your eyes playfully as you sit down with everyone, greeting them with the usual good morning. You expect the compound to be deserted by midday since surely all of them have plans with their partners for the rest of the day, which is perfect. For you. And for them, of course, yeah.

Sam and Bucky made their way to you. “So, Y/N, how are you?” Sam greets. You already suspect that they were hyping you up for something. “Food good, coffee good... sleep well?”

You turn to them with a smile on your face. “Alright, what do you want?”

“Well,” Bucky lets out a breathy laugh. “Sam here was just helping me-”

“That is not what’s happening. What he wanted to say was,” the birdman cuts him off. “We both wanted to take you out to dinner tonight, we can’t settle on who, so we’re letting you pick.”

You blink. They have to be joking. Do they not notice your routine during this time of the year? After socializing with the team you’d grab a day’s worth of snack, head back to your room, lock the door and lose your mind on video games until the next day.

Unhealthy, but it's for one day.

“Only if you want to,” Bucky adds hastily.

“Come on, this is a chance of a lifetime!” Sam insists, wiggling his eyebrows.

“We’ll go to your favorite restaurant.”

“It’s just a friendly date.”

What you fail to notice was Natasha listening to the events happening. Her foot taps against the floor as she discreetly waits for your response, taking coffee sips and bites of food and looking away whenever she looked like she's eavesdropping. No one else is paying attention, everyone has their own conversations.

Inside, she pleads that you’d turn both of them down, just because she’s planning to ask you out herself. They just beat her to it.

“I appreciate the thought but I’m sorry, I have plans,” you shrug. “Why don’t you take each other out instead? Not literally.” You give them another smile and walk out of the room, coffee in hand.

Sam and Bucky nods indicating they understood. Sam tells his friend that if he had more appeal you’d agree to the date. But they take you up on your advice, already planning a guy’s night.

Natasha almost cheers when she hears the first part, only to spiral when she hears that someone had already asked you beforehand. You're unavailable. She could ask you out any day, but you deserve something extra special. She sees this day as her only chance to confess her feelings for you.

Her eyes trail you as you walk out, turning to Wanda when you were out of sight. “Do you have any idea who asked Y/N out?”

“I don’t,” Wanda replies, a bit distracted. “They’re lucky, I’ve never seen Y/N show interest in anyone since I met her. Anyway, I have to go, Vision and I have a whole day planned...”

Natasha huffs while people slowly file out of the kitchen. As far as she knows, Tony's with Pepper, of course, Wanda and Vision, Steve is probably going to join Sam and Bucky on their night out, and Clint is back at his farm celebrating with his wife.

And you’re with that person, which most likely someone who isn’t on the team otherwise she’d know. She's left by herself to mope.

Few hours have passed, maybe three, it’s lunchtime. As you suspected the compound is empty, so you make your way to the kitchen to make yourself something to eat.

Boxed mac and cheese is the only thing you knew how to make.

“Y/N?”

You almost drop your stirring spoon at the sudden voice. You feel embarrassed about your choice of outfit, you feel and look like a grizzly bear while she looks stunning, even if it’s just plain workout clothes.

“Hey, Nat.”

“I thought you were... out with someone?” Knowing you, she might’ve misunderstood when you said you ‘had plans’. You look so cozy she would love to hug you on the spot if she isn’t so sweaty.

You let out a curious hum, turning off the stove. “I was?” You giggle. “Where’d you hear that?”

“I didn’t, just, I assumed you’d be,” she mutters and finishes her water bottle.

You're now grabbing a bowl for the mac and cheese you made. “I mean, Sam and Bucky did ask me if I wanted to but... y’know, if I’m being honest they’re not really my type.” You pause to look at her who was staring back. “Have you eaten? This batch I made is enough for three people, I think.”

Natasha nods at your offer. “They did say it was a friendly date.”

You stop scooping the macaroni and perk your head up with a grin. “So you were listening.”

“Not like I had any choice, I was in the same room.” Quick save.

“Mmhm.”

Then there's a minute of comfy silence as you clean the area you made the meal on, putting the pot away and stuff.

“Why don’t you have a date today?”

“What?”

“Anyone would kill to go on a date with you, Nat.” Is what you say in your head. But instead you say, “Well, you know, I didn’t expect you be here too.”

Natasha shrugs and before she could answer you add, “No one’s caught the notorious Black Widow’s attention yet?”

She chuckles at your words, looking up at you. “Who did you think I’d go out with?”

“I dunno, Steve-”

“God, no,” she quickly cuts you off and laugh, you laugh along but at the same time sigh in relief.

“Crap, I just remembered I have a game to finish,” you hold the bowl of cheese and macaroni and stick two spoons on the side. “I’m cordially inviting you to my room, you are very much welcome, after you change.”

Natasha tells you she’ll see you there in a bit.

“Huh. I just noticed you do this every Valentine’s Day,” Natasha notes as she takes everything in. Your PlayStation's on, your trash bin is almost full of snack wrappings, couple of beers tucked at the side of your bed. “Cozy.”

“Why, thank you,” you say sarcastically, picking up a controller and waving a vacant one at her. “Feel free. Or you can just watch me fail at this game.”

Natasha decides to join the game a little later, now she's lost in thought on how someone like you spends such a day like this, or how beautiful you looked as your eyes dart at every direction of the screen and how you sometimes bite your lip when you're that focused in the game.

It's always the little things she likes about you.

Glancing at you one more time before eating a spoonful of mac, she turns back to the TV to watch how you're doing.

But you're witty, kind and easy to get along with, why wouldn’t you have a date - or why wouldn’t you want a date on Valentine’s Day?

If only you knew how she feels, she’d make sure to treat you well. Like you deserve. She’d take you on dates you’d enjoy every time the 14th rolls by. If you don’t like the holiday for some reason she’d find a way-

“NO WAY,” you cover your mouth and bump your head to Natasha’s shoulder in defeat, making her come back from her trance to look at the big red words on the screen, indicating you lost. “I almost had it!”

Natasha leans into your touch and pats your back. “You can try again.”

You groan. “I definitely will but for now, I’m gonna take a break.”

“Great,” she shifts a bit to get comfy, switching to Netflix and choosing whatever’s trending right now. “I’m just curious but, do you like someone?”

You hum in response, sipping on a beer, not completely processing what she said. “I - yeah. I guess so,” you tug the blanket closer and pout at the movie that’s on. You don’t like romance movies. You always prefer an action or a mystery one any day. “Do you?”

Natasha feels her heart ache for a moment. “Yeah. She’s kind and sweet, goofy but can still seriously kick your ass type.” Your eyes land to her hands. You knew fully well Natasha isn’t straight, she admitted and definitely doesn’t act like it. “There’s just something about her that makes me... love her.”

“She sounds great,” you mumble, starting to get lost in your own thoughts. “I guess I just-” you hesitate, just because the woman you're about to describe is the same one sitting next to you. “I feel bad for her that someone like me likes her.”

“Why would you think that?” Natasha chuckles, shaking her head.

You shrug. “She’s amazing. So out of my league, I’d say she’s so close but so far away but that would be really cheesy and ugly,” you laugh. “I don’t know, she deserves way better.”

Natasha hums. “Sometimes I think she needs to her worth, because what she doesn’t know is, she’s very much amazing in her own way.”

Looking up at her from her shoulder, your eyes light up and you don’t know when it happened, but you just found her lips pressed against yours softly.

Even if it was just a short kiss you feel breathless when she pulls away to look at you again.

“Just so we’re clear, we’re just describing each other like idiots right?”

“Yeah.”

Natasha leans in to kiss you again.

---

oh my god I want a hug

[shameless plug] check out my natasha romanoff ambience here

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