#my point being she probably was not a good fit for this specific program at first and was basically assigned to it for optics reasons

[whoreiorcats]

Eustice was an Empathy Fellow. Seth was leading Innie Reforms. Eustice is meant to go on to work in Global Reforms. They’re two of the three people of color we see in Lumon Management, Natalie being a talking head who defends the ethics of severance.

They’re all basically part of the Lumon DEI initiative and like, as someone who’s basically been made de facto DEI reformer by virtue of being the only person of color in the room… yeesh.

[thegreatyin]

i'd like to give my guesses for your oc's enitity affiliations!

scoundrel

avatar - spiral? majorly based off her shenanigans in the neon future as mr cards and her current business as a 'nightmare cleanser' when silvering. all avatars are snacked on by their patron a little (e.g jon is the beholding's special little boy, but he is very afraid of people finding secrets about him) but im not sure what scoundrel would suffer from!

victim - flesh/buried. a need to constantly modify one's body to be more while fearing that you've already hit the limit. he fears he will be forever caged in a body hostile to him.

2. caeru

avatar - the beholding's would-be special little girl (ex-seeker and homunculi creator twice over), but the end's most successful daughter (would say slaughter, but don't know how much enjoyment she gets from the violence). is snacked on as she fears the death of her loved ones.

victim - flesh (objectification instead of modification like her husband, but she would probably have her powers influenced by this, like how jon can compel people like a web-avatar otherwise would) and desolation (nemesis pc, is a flesh victim BECAUSE she wishes her loved ones the best)

3. lark

avatar - going to say something crazy here but i think lark is a hunter 🤔, perhaps with a hint of slaughter depending on how much he relishes in the goriness of his kill. is snacked on due to the fear of being prey

victim - buried. lol. lmao. (outside of literal claustrophobia, its the fear of being trapped under someone else's thumb. would say web, but lark doesn't seem the type to get lost in the intricacies of someone's motivations?)

4. greylu

avatar - web. he's ourple-coded, a servant to the great game (thus people fear the manipulation of information), and he's connected to orphans. as for snacking, i am looking pointedly at the vake yearner.

victim: don't know enough about the guy ;w;. children of the mother of puppets are also her victims to a degree far more than other powers (annabelle cane, tma's most recognisable web avatar, was forcibly turned into one during a program she joined specifically to GET OVER her fear of spiders, as the web had marked her since she was a child) but i would also say desolation, as he runs an orphanage in good-faith. perhaps also the lonely and the stranger, as he relies on others (so far) to make sense of the world, as he does not know himself.

HI. SORRY THIS TOOK FIVE MILLION YEARS TO ANSWER. I STARED AT IT AND ADMIRED IT AND THEN FORGOT IT EXISTED LIKE A FUCKING FOOL.

anyway. this ask is everything to me u have no idea. spiral scoundrel is so based i'm obsessed with her. it fits so so well and i am so so delighted by her existence. it reminds me of these tags i made awhile back about what her neon future casino business looks like;

she's deceived herself to the point of losing touch with reality! she's locked herself in a literal and figurative maze and she can't escape either! get spiraled idiot!! get absolutely spiraled!!!! flesh is also perfect, of course, but that was obvious from day one.

and caeru. caeru caeru caeru. i am biting and chewing the way you phrased this. the end's most successful daughter,,,, very fitting for her status as Insane Transfem That Technically Almost Ended The World, and doubly fitting for what i have in mind for her advanced destiny. and desolation. DESOLATION IS SO GOOD I'M MAD AT YOU? in a light hearted way, of course.

seriously. it's called a reckoning. you assign caeru with The Reckoning Fear. this is so brutal to her specifically. it fits to a T though.

lark, shockingly, is indeed hunt coded. i know, none of us could've ever predicted this. he's actually less slaughter than i expected, though he's definitely a favorite of the buried. you're right in that he doesn't have many ties to the web? if he cared about motivation he wouldn't have latched onto tormenting poor edward so much. it doesn't matter to him that edward is brainwashed, it matters that he's a threat. nothing more, nothing less.

greylu,, you're right in that he's definitely a web avatar, but i think you're underselling just how much he's a victim of it as well. desolation kind of fits him, but not nearly to the extent it does caeru. its entire state of being is wrapped up in what other people want out of it/what they choose to tell it. there's never been a point in the shadow's (admittedly, so far, very short) existence where it hasn't been manipulated into the shape of someone else's design. the stranger and the lonely, for reasons that haven't yet come up in conversation, are also excellent fits.

anyway. as stated, i love this ask, i'm obsessed with it, you earn a gold star in yin oc reading comprehension, 10/10 no notes

[beevosmeower]

Kink Ask Game for my PCs

@worlds-tiredest-sub made this ask game originally but I slapped it onto my ocs cause it sounds fun and I love doing this shit to Juno esp. Some questions also got ganked cause they didn’t fit Rapechestershire well.

Any unexpected ways kink has improved their life? If so, what are they? Luka: mm getting hurt is good actually. He feels pretty nice and more soft now that he can be vulnerable and give over control to someone on the regular. There’s no need to CONSTANTLY pretend anymore. Roman discovered that mm yes blood is good actually. They’re a lot more casually calm and at ease than before.

Are piercings sexy? Juno finds specific piercings fun. If you had some crazy piercings, she'd pause her regularly scheduled sex program to go through each of them and admire a bit. If you had like a huge crazy piercing then she’d probably ask about it too. Luka is biased as the resident piercing haver. He loves piercings on others, and he especially loves getting them. He’s the type to get bored during a sleepover and be like “hey wanna give me a piercing?” He’ll regularly let Roman give him piercings then when he gets bored of them he’ll take them out and let it heal over to repeat the process. Infections fear this guy… Roman, resident sadist woof woof bark bark. Literally drooling over ANY piercing. They don’t care if it’s a normal lobe piercing. They’re on top of you heavy breathing “haha, tell me about it~” FREAK. In Rapechestershire, Roman somehow takes the cake on being one the biggest freaks which is a very competitive sport- They adore any and all wounds.

Are tattoos sexy? Juno will stop and admire them if it’s interesting artwork, or has a lot of intricate line work. If it’s something else though she probably won’t acknowledge them. Luka is BITING at the bit to be able to get a tattoo one day, but he’s also very indecisive and doesn’t wanna ruin the experience with something he doesn’t wanna settle with. He lets Roman regularly draw on him though. Roman REALLY enjoys tattoos. Extreme fascination towards anything and everything that hurts others, and the fact that tattoos are something so painful people choose to go through is even more interesting to them. Absolutely feral over tattoos in the same way they are with piercings.

Are there any sex toys they want to try? Living in Rapechestershire and all, Luka and Juno have both gotten the chance to try anything their hearts desire. Roman on the other hand is a bit restricted by the Angel TF, but they have a laundry list of things they wanna try with Luka when they decide to ditch it.

Are they more of a dominant, submissive, or switch? Juno and Luka swing it as switches but in like- parallel ways. Juno and Luka are both puppy coded but Juno is an excitable, shallow loving the neighbor kinda puppy while Luka is puppy in the way a dog loves an owner. Roman is completely dominant, if they had a choice in things, anyone in Rapechestershire would explode when they try to make her submit to them when she’s just trying to walk home.

Are they rough or romantic? It depends on how close you are to them. If you don’t have high or even just mid Love with Juno, then you’re getting the impersonal Rapechestershire encounter special. It’s not rough per say, but she’s not taking her time at all. Luka likes things as rough as possible because he sees it as romantic, and if he's giving it's an intimate sort of roughness. Roman on the other hand likes it rough and dishes it out the same.

Are they the jealous type? Juno is a max level hedonist to the point dropping her in Ancient Greece would be perfectly fine for her. Fuck everyone love is love past hippie to ascension level. If you have her Love at max and you ignore her for too long, she’ll start cock blocking you a little. Getting into their cursed polycule isn’t nearly as difficult as romancing Juno, but getting out IS. Luka is dog coded in a lot of ways, hunting dog included. He doesn’t care a lot about people wanting to come and go, but Roman DOES. If you begin to dismiss them and push them both away, they don’t care emotionally as much as “you are mine (possession)”.

Are they vocal during sex? Juno and Roman do NOT stop talking during sex but it’s very different things they’re saying. Juno expecting you to handle a full conversation despite her fucking your brains out?? Besides whatever that is, she’s also taking constant consent checks. Then Roman is mostly just mocking you or laughing at the other person. Very degrading 10/10. Luka on the other hand is pure sobbing, whining, crying. An encounter with him at high love is a great way to speed run raising your sadism stat because you don’t need it to be high to hurt him during one.

Do they have a gag reflex? Juno and Roman don’t. Luka… used to not have one but Roman fully messed with him into getting it back. Roman lacks a gag reflex to a point where it’s almost jarring. Jaw-ing….

Do they kiss on the first date? Eh it’s Rapechestershire. If you initiate a kiss, Luka and Juno would accept it. Roman wouldn’t care too much if you pushed it, but they’d prefer to pretend to be shy and pure.

Do they like being blindfolded? Juno couldn’t care less. Forever winning the idgaf war. Luka loves any kind of loss of control. Roman has a soft spot for anything that lets them play into dramatic theatrics ESP if she can use the Angel TF to make it even gaudier.

Do they like dirty talk? Juno continues to win the idgaf war. They give a lot of dirty talk, but in general she doesn’t care much about sex. If you have a romantic encounter with her then she has a lot of dirty talk included, otherwise she won’t acknowledge it unless it’s a direct question. Luka’s FROTHING for it. Make fun of him!! Be mean!!! Mock him!!! Simple way to make him get attached and have a good time. If he’s on top though, there’s NONE. You get growls and bitten. Roman is a menace. Constant harsh dirty talk. Keeping that Angel TF and making sure that unless you’re into the type of sex that they provide you will not want to come back to them. Also just has no interest in hiding how they are if you’ve gotten as far as fucking them.

Do they like hair-pulling? Juno hates her hair being tugged on. Good way to immediately get your shit rocked during an encounter with her and end it early. Luka loving his hair pulled 🤝 Roman who loves to pull on people’s hair.

Do they like it rough or romantic? Juno only initiates sex with someone she's romantically interested in. She sees it as something to express love to the other person and take care of them similar to buying your partner flowers. Luka is a max level masochist. He adores having it rough during any encounter. He sees being hurt as another way of being loved. Roman also really enjoys rough sex and sees it as romantic too. They see another person trusting them and letting them hurt a person as incredibly romantic. Roman ripping out Luka’s piercings when they first met and him enjoying it was love at first encounter.

Do they like it when their sexual partner moans? All of them do for different reasons. Juno is taking sounds as another marker in the data of how her partner is enjoying themselves. Luka loves moans because we should both be loud!!!! Hell yeah!!! If he’s bottoming to another loud person, he takes it as a competition. If he’s on top and the person is loud, his grunts and growls get a bit whinier too. Roman LOVES anyone being loud in any way. They’re taking it as a sign to push more and do more. They adore the sounds and it’s the one thing you’ll get any bit of praise for.

Do they like name-calling in bed? Same as dirty talk. Juno actively doesn’t care or acknowledge it while Luka and Roman love it.

Do they like seeing the evidence (bruises, bite marks, hickies)? Juno can appreciate the art of leaving marks on another person or having them herself. If you have high Love with her, there’s a big chance she’ll leave one somewhere your pc can cover up if they choose. Looks at Luka and Roman. Luka is already covered in marks from Roman at all times. Even if they can’t redo some hickeys or bite marks for a time, they’ll always have scars left on Luka.

Do they like teasing or being teased? Juno enjoys teasing people a lot in and out of sex. She enjoys seeing how she can manipulate someone’s emotions in a small amount, and she loves the reactions she can get. Luka enjoys being teased a small bit. He’s not much for foreplay unless it’s getting to give head , and then he won’t let you get away for hours. Roman enjoys teasing others. They’re holding back a lot of things that they let go with on Luka, one of which being their urges to bully and be mean to others. Only reason they don’t is how much they enjoy being adored.

Do they like to cuddle? Juno and Luka love cuddling up to others. Juno is friendly with everyone, so she’ll initiate physical touch with anyone. Luka only will with a high Love or sadistic PC. Roman is fine with cuddling if you’re lovers. Otherwise they’d prefer to preserve their untouchable purity persona.

Do they like to swallow? Juno and Luka are swallowing for opposite reasons. Juno doesn’t want it to get everywhere and dirty up her clothes. Meanwhile Luka wants it to dirty his insides. He also just loves the taste of all cum… Roman won’t be swallowing unless you’re max love and it’s your birthday or something-

Do they like watching or being watched? Juno is watching from the cuck chair taking color coded notes and giving academic feedback. Probably an insane sex combo with Doctor Harper. Luka likes being watched under specific controlled situations. It’s not high on his list of likes though. Roman enjoys watching and controlling the situation but in a watching someone masturbate sense. They’d have a crazy JOI audio list if they made them.

Do they prefer having foreplay or getting right to it? Juno prefers getting right into it if it’s a noncon encounter or you have low Love with her. If not then she thinks sex with someone you like oughta have some bells and whistles to it. Luka will provide head as foreplay and you need max skullduggery to even try and talk him into getting it before sex. Getting head from him is also a death trap cause he gets so cock/pussy drunk that he just WON'T let you go anytime soon. If you consider it under sex is penetration, Roman is kinda all foreplay. Sex with them ALSO takes ages. They’re gonna make a scene last ages, a person with ADHDs nightmare if you aren’t into them. If you are then they’re gonna lead you into your head melting and suddenly 16 hours passed and you feel like you’ve found a way to turn humans into liquids.

Do you prefer long hair or short hair? They all chronically give zero fucks about the appearance of their partners.

Do you prefer to give or receive when it comes to sex? All of them prefer to give. Juno wants to get it over with and doesn’t feel sexual need. Luka ends up receiving but his mindset is all about receiving it for the other person. Roman is functionally the opposite where they’re giving for themselves.

Do they watch porn? Juno watches porn for knowledge. The pondering. Porn scholar of you will. When she was about to reenter society she was given a cursory sex ed course, then another at Oxford. In general she just took sex as another thing to task herself with in order to do well in Rapechestershire. Luka and Roman are generally uninterested in porn, but sometimes they’ll put it on while they’re fucking to make it a game.

Do they listen to nsft audios? Same as porn for Juno, she has before but it’s not interesting to her. Actually she’d listen to the cursed ASMR on YouTube a lot. Luka doesn’t mostly because he has sensitive hearing, headphones bother him a lot. Roman will when they can’t see Luka for a long time. They listen to mostly ramblefaps and extremely whiney stuff. If their headphones ever unplugged they’d have a LOT to explain even while living in Rapechestershire.

Do they read erotica? Juno has read lots of erotica before. It’s also one of the things she continues to read just out of curiosity. 457 notes on a 30 chapter book about every grammatical error, relationship flaw, and sexual inconsistency. Luka hasn’t and isn’t interested. Roman has before and does sometimes.

Have they ever cried during sex? Juno hasn’t. Roman and Luka have, but Luka cries regularly. It’s incredibly easy to overstimulate him.

Have they ever faked an orgasm? Yes, all around. Roman and Juno have for the same reason: “Man, when will this person cum already so I can DO MY SHIT.” Luka has before cause the one night stand was AWFUL and he wanted to just go home so he could jerk it.

Have they ever had sex in a public place? Juno avidly avoids it. She doesn’t wanna do anything that’ll get her in trouble ESPECIALLY with the law. Luka and Roman first met fucking in an alleyway though. Luka is a regular to adding cum onto the floor of the residential alleyway, but Roman tries not to overdo the public aspect. They like to take things slow, but getting to spend time in Luka’s house is a bonus.

Have they ever had sex in the shower? Roman and Luka do constantly, but Juno never invited anyone into her house before PC if they trigger that event.

Have they ever spanked or been spanked in the bedroom? Juno has before and allowed it once. Didn’t react, didn’t enjoy it. It was during an encounter with a random person in town too who KNEW her vaguely, so it was really jarring for them to see her go from her puppy persona into dead face vague annoyance. Ended the encounter soon after. Luka enjoys being spanked but impact isn’t on the top of his list. He prefers actual wounds over impact play. The longer it’ll last on him, the hornier he’ll feel about it. In fact you can instantly start an encounter with him by bringing up a wound you gave him if you have 40% love or higher. Roman enjoys slapping people but not spanking as much. They also don’t have much strength besides grip strength to be spanking people anyways. For sex it’s all about THEM, and hurting their wrists is like… eh.

Have they/would they have a threesome? Rapechestershire doesn’t really give you a choice there. Juno rarely cares for people enough to initiate sex in the first place, and Roman wants to keep appearances of purity as much as possible. Luka has and wouldn’t mind them again if Roman brought it up.

How do they feel about public displays of affection? Juno is public enemy number one of casual PDA. Also with how people see her like a puppy, no one bats an eye when you have friendly PDA with her. On the other hand, if you kiss her, people will treat it like being annoying with your dog in public. Luka doesn’t enjoy much PDA tbh. He kinda values his infamy and intimidation around town. It was defense at first and now it’s a habit. He also wouldn’t wanna put a target on anyone’s back since the underworld knows they can’t get to him. Roman is visibly and audibly praying for god to smite you down. Which one? They’re going down the list. Half for their purity facade but also because they find couples sucking faces in public as a nuisance.

Is it good sex even if they don't cum? Juno probably won’t. Unless the person is REALLY good at it and has max stats then she isn’t gonna wanna deal with that. Her stance is that bodily responses can be cleaned up later, but if the other person has max stats that gives her a new goal to one up them. Luka and Roman are hard cause they both enjoy overstimulation over edging, so they’re already in a mindset to cum easily so they can go again and stack it. Before they met though, it wasn’t the case. Neither of them care too much about not cumming during casual sex with people they don’t care about. Roman definitely wants to cum if they’re in control though, whether it’s with Luka or not.

Tongue or no tongue while kissing? Tongue. Juno prefers no tongue if it’s casual sex, but tongue absolutely if she’s taking her time. She needs your head to be melting with her. Luka has a fat yappers tongue and will be making you dizzy from oxygen deprivation. Huge hand on the back of your neck holding you steady while he goes in for more. The rule of thumb for him and sex is that if he’s bottoming he’ll take ANYTHING and everything that you give him, and if he’s on top he’s actually still taking everything. Roman actually prefers no tongue. It feels more taboo to them. It has a dirty defiling aspect to it that they enjoy.

What is their most taboo kink? Roman and Luka hold hands with his “please beat my ass”-ism.

What are their thoughts on friends with benefits? I mean it’s Rapechestershire. Juno wouldn’t care, that’s the most common type of sex she has considering a lot of people see themselves as friends with her. Luka had mostly friends with benefits before meeting Roman. Typical Rapechestershire encounters weren’t for him, but he couldn’t really have the sex he wanted most of the time. Roman has such a specific way they like having sex, and if it’s not in that way, they aren’t into it. There’s just a lot of talking and establishment that people in town aren’t willing to deal with. If they’re close to someone to wanna have sex, they’re probably not the type of person to want it or expect it, plus the whole having to preserve the TF. TLDR: they’d be open to it, but they take a while to let people even know they like sex at all, so chances are they’d be officially involved with someone before bringing it up.

What do they like and dislike about oral sex? Juno and Roman dislike giving oral. Juno prefers it over having to take anything else, but it doesn’t mean she enjoys it unless she can take her time with someone she’s at least friends with. Luka is a certified oral freak. He loves receiving, but he loves giving even more. The dude just loves the taste of sex. His least favorite part is when the person tries to get away from the overstim.

What do they think about toys in the bedroom? Juno probably would use them. She’d unretire her vibrator if you have a romantic encounter at her house. Luka and Roman regularly use them. Roman really enjoys toys as much as using their own hands. Luka prefers direct touch a bit more though. Something something, break me apart with your own hands.

What do they wear to bed? Juno wears a Victoria Secret pj set. Luka wears a shark blanket cape on top of a shitty tank top and pair of shorts. Roman wears a cute white chemise.

What do they wear when they want to feel attractive? All of them have really good confidence. They feel attractive in anything even if it’s not their style.

What is something that never fails to make them horny? Juno doesn’t really get horny, but something that makes her want to kiss others and make out just casually is mornings with others. Waking up with people is nice to her considering she didn’t wake up to other people in the house growing up, and since she was always home it made mornings empty. Nothing gets Luka off more than pointing out marks you’ve left on him. Instant way to make him soggy and barking for you. To be honest, Roman can get turned on by a lot of things. Nothing is the top thing for them, but there’s a few. The easiest one would be just begging towards them in any way.

What is the first thing that draws their attention when they meet someone new? Lots of things can get Juno’s attention. She’s watching a lot of people casually, and she finds everyone interesting in some kind of way even if it’s just them being a type of person. She also just enjoys approaching people and getting to talk to them. Juno doesn’t look at physical aspects from people until she knows them well, once she’s already attracted to them, she likes peoples lips. Luka enjoys confidence in people. Someone approaching him aggressively would put him on edge for a fight, but someone being very clear and curt about what they want would be attractive to him. Physically he tends to look at peoples collarbones first. Roman is also pretty observant towards others behavior like Juno is. They tend to notice a person’s demeanor first, but opposite to Juno, they’re looking at what will be the most useful aspect of their temperament. Physically, Roman tends to look at people’s faces first, but they linger more on shoulders.

What is their biggest turn-off? Juno will end any encounter with anyone if they try to drag her into the public. She is NAWT getting dragged into something illegal. Luka really hates someone just trying to degrade him without any set up. He’s a strong believer that both parties should be enjoying themselves here. Roman has a lot of turn-offs, but the biggest is when people in town try to force themselves on top. They are NOT putting up with sex that doesn’t give them the control they crave.

What is their favorite color to wear? Juno: Pink (Accents of teal, blue, white, and yellow. She likes a race car vibe a lot.) Luka: Grey. (He likes neutral colors like browns, muddy greens, and dark blue.) Roman: White (They like wearing angelic colors. They’re a monochrome kinda person with some yellow accents if they’re gonna do a color.)

What is their favorite kind of foreplay? Answered in another one but I’ll keep it here for other people to use.

What is their favorite kink and why? Juno enjoys sensation play a lot. A very close second is gagging for a 2-1 deal. Luka likes marking a lot, both for the mess and time it stays of it. In his eyes, hurting him is also a part of forcing affection onto him. He also really enjoys the marking aspect of things. Roman enjoys blood play a lot. They just enjoy getting to indulge in their own urges to hurt people in a safe(r) environment.

What is their favorite part of their body? Juno… m. She shamelessly enjoys her own chest as a low hanging fruit answer. Her second favorite part of herself is her biceps. She’s beefy! Mention it!!! I mean she covers it up cause sensitive shoulders- but still. Luka.. thumbs down. He loves his own dick. Also loves his hips. And his pecs. He’s usually wearing a ton of layers, but it’s out of utility. He really likes his body. Roman really loves their own face. All of it. They have a lot of pride in the expressions and features they’ve worked hard to perfect.

What is their favorite pet name? Juno enjoys being called pet. No further comment. No preference on what she calls others, and she’s GONNA ask you, so be mentally prepped. Luka will take anything, but he likes mutt. He likes calling others good though. He can and will be growling in your ear, good girl/boy, no gender? No problem. He’s gonna still be sobbing about how good it is into your shoulder. Roman enjoys being called Dearest, but they’ll take anything traditional. They don’t have a preference on what they call others.

What is their favorite position in the bedroom? Juno and Roman both like straddling and having the person sit in their lap as they hug them from behind. Juno prefers being intertwined with people while Roman prefers them in their lap. Luka loves spooning. No further. He likes being wrapped up with people as closely as possible. Absolutely menace going to bed at night.

What is their favorite type of non-sexual contact? Juno likes hand holding a lot. Luka likes kissing people but it’ll probably turn sexual for the other person. He just likes kissing and making out but for the other person they’re light headed by this dumbass eating them. Completely no room to turn it sexual answer is he likes hugging a lot. He’s always hanging off of his friends from behind (kinda hard being huge). Roman enjoys lap pillows, both giving and receiving. They only give them if they’re in a great mood though, so feel honored.

What is their newest kink? Roman and Luka both discovered the mutual blood kink together.

What is their top sexual fantasy? Juno probably fantasizes a lot more about aftercare and mornings after. Luka hasn’t talked about it yet, but he’s been itching to be put in a collar and dog bone gag. Roman……….. not gonna lie their deepest top secret fantasies are probably just all snuff. Another one would be getting worshipped in the Temple and fucked on the altar when they’re super stressed and annoyed by them.

Which part of their body do they consider the most sexy? Answered in 49. They all have self confidence in their body and draw attention to the parts they find most attractive on themselves.

Would they have sex on the first date? Same for kissing on a date. Juno and Luka don’t care but Roman will put up an act at least.

Would they rather be handcuffed or blindfolded? Juno would prefer to be blindfolded, but Luka enjoys the fight in being bound up. You’d probably need a bit more than cuffs for him though- Roman doesn’t have much of a preference. They can enjoy the art in both.

Would they rather make out or cuddle? Juno would rather cuddle but Luka and Roman prefer making out. Luka versus his massive oral fixation.

[rainbowspinch]

Alright Spinchers get ready cause I’m about to dump all my SB AU stuff/SB headcanons because I’ve got The Rot in my brain.

I’ll probably edit this later because there’s definitely stuff I’m forgetting. Anyway

Ok let’s seperate this into sections.

GLAMROCK FREDDY:

-“Superstar!”

-He really, really tries to be a stickler for the rules but it honestly doesn’t work. He tries so hard. But if he needs this door down and it won’t unlock, he’s going to call Monty to bash it in

-‘no swearing’ rule but there is absolutely exceptions

-Regularly uses “by the power invested in me” before sentencing the others to punishment (“by the power invested in me I sentence you to 15 minutes in your least favourite corner”)

-So much more patient and trusting than he reasonably should be

-Can, will, and does pick up the others simply because he’s able to

-Whenever Freddy is waiting for someone/something with Roxy, he looks extra hard to try see it before Roxy does to ‘beat her super eyes’. He wants to see it first and never does. Sometimes she pretends not to see to make him feel better

-Whenever they go on stage, Freddy and Monty Bro Hug It Out so no one knows they’re gay.

-⬆️Everyone knows.

-Goes out of his way to try and make the day better when it seems to be going south. He especially does this with Monty because he’s just about always having a bad day

-Was a little distant from the others, especially Monty, after Bonnie was put away for good. He focused way more on his definitely very important duties as the face of the Pizzaplex than interacting with them. This backfired on him completely because it just made everyone talk to him More.

-Has the weakest battery of everyone and needs to charge more frequently. He’s usually pretty good at making sure he doesn’t collapse in front of customers

-He knows they’re programmed to be good with kids and all but he still finds himself feeling all soft and mushy watching his friends get along with the young ones

GLAMROCK BONNIE:

-“Rockstar”

-Was always kind of grouchy in the mornings, but was fine after they had their first show

-Can drink 7 milkshakes in one sitting and postpone the regret for later

-he’s got a super sense for bowling. He Knows when someone is bowling like shit and they will be dealt with

-Had assigned bowling balls for each of his friends

-When Bonnie was randomly found mangled and broken, the staff had no idea what to do and kind of just- hid him away so they wouldn’t have to deal with it. The last person to talk to him was Roxy, who laid next to him while the Staff Bots tried to assess the situation.

-The Pizzaplex’ s Band originally started off with just Freddy and Bonnie, to imitate Fredbear and Springbonnie

-Shockingly, the one most adjusted to Bonnie’s sarcasm and occasional bad attitude is Chica, not Freddy. She became accustomed to his behaviour pretty quickly, and swiftly learned to level him out

-He goes and lays on Roxy’s carpet when he’s unhappy and she’s pretty much just gotten used to it at this point. She’s got no idea why he chose her room specifically but she’s adjusted.

GLAMROCK CHICA:

-Regularly hangs around the food court, shock horror

-Chica is super flexible. It makes the stretches and fitness aspects of Mazercise easier on her joints- however it does also mean she could fold herself into a ball if she really wanted to.

-If Chica is winning on the raceway, she’ll purposely slow down to let Roxy win

-While she comes across as very sweet and friendly, she’s definitely an enabler of chaos. She can and will encourage Roxy and Monty’s bickering.

-That being said, she does know where to draw a line. She knows how to tell when her friends are getting genuinely irritated, and she knows when things will actually be taken to heart instead of as a joke. She’s a good mediator, and a good calming agent

-Likes to bring snacks to the daycare for the little ones. After a gentle scolding here and there from Moon, though, she’s learned to bring snacks early on, and not too close to nap time, lest the sugar keep the kids up.

-Absolutely decimates in the arcade. She and Monty love to compete

-Adjusted to Monty taking Bonnie’s place the easiest. She loves Bonnie and treasures him dearly, but she wasn’t about to let her grief make Monty feel unwelcome. The two remain very close to this day

-She loves her friends but she’s not huge on sharing food. She thanks god every day that Roxy knows this and orders them seperate pizzas whenever they get them

-Absolutely the type to learn Tiktok dances and trends, and if she had a phone, would absolutely partake. It’s not uncommon to find TikTok’s filmed in the Pizzaplex that she jumps to participate in

-Hums a lot. Was pretty unhappy that they forbade her from singing, and started humming a lot to make up for it

GLAMROCK FOXY:

-“Laddie/Lassie”

-They aren’t supposed to store things in their chest compartments unless instructed to (like cakes, piñatas, etc), but Foxy tends to stash toys and merchandise in there and try get away with it. He usually gets caught

-Roxy was initially introduced as a prototype. She was small and child sized, and given to Foxy to train her up. It was supposed to be to test his aggression levels due to some recent bugs with Bonnie, but he got extra attached and kept her as his own.

-Following the previous, when Roxy was taken away from him, he was told she would be dismantled. Foxy was later taken from the stage and the band for maiming a staff member.

-Foxy is stashed behind some cutouts and other bits and pieces in Kids Cove. He won’t come out for fear of being decommissioned permanently. The others bring pizza and activities to do with him, so he can still be included.

-Uses the excuse of having ‘unspecified ailments’ when he doesn’t feel like performing. Depending on which technician is checking in with him in the morning, it sometimes works.

-Got a couple of broken parts that are lovingly held together by duct tape

ROXANNE WOLF:

-“Speedracer”/“Racer”

-Roxy gets along really well with the staff bots and caution bots. She’s like a celebrity to them, and she thinks they’re just funky little guys. She appreciates that they always make sure they’re clean before touching her (which they continue to do because she likes it)

-Whenever she walks by a caution bot, they always reach out to try touch her tail. This is especially endearing when she walks by a group and they all reach out

-Roxy brushes her tail exactly 200 times every morning. If she loses count she has to start again

-She and Chica go on lots of food court dates, going to get pizza and ice cream and such.

-Roxy spends a lot of time hanging around Mazercise waiting for Chica. She’s not shy about her favouritism

-Prefers older kids over the younger ones because younger kids can be a little messy, and she’s not one for mess. However, Cassie is her exception in all cases.

-She knows full well that by advertising and programming she’s supposed to be a winner, to be the epitome of sass and style. It’s exhausting to try be that perfect all the time, and she only feels worse that it makes her exhausted

-She deeply values her beauty and struggles to see her value beyond that. She needs to be good at everything, being average isn’t good enough.

-Used to struggle with giving compliments and often still does, but Chica has extraordinarily helped with this issue. Roxy loves her too much to not compliment her

-She’s actually quite the history nerd! She takes a lot of interest in older locations and older models, and will jump to get any information she can from whoever will give it to her

MONTGOMERY GATOR:

-“Champ”

-Monty is exactly as he’s described in the books. Dramatic and loud, but otherwise harmless

-Monty has a couple fried circuits; is prone to headaches, mood instability and light sensitivity as a result, hence his irritability and short temper

-He frequently visits the daycare, both as a helping hand and just to hang out. Sun and Moon insisted he has to dress as a clown if he wants to help out; they were joking but he took that 100% seriously and dresses the part if he intends to help care for the little ones.

-Roxy is like an older sister. When he was newly introduced, they quickly made the ‘new kid’ connection and she took him under her wing pretty swiftly.

-tail wags, hissing and swimming

-likes to ‘trade noises’. He’ll make a sound, normally a hiss, and usually whoever he’s with will return a sound (Chica with bawking, Roxy with a small howl, and Freddy tends to boop his nose to make the squeak sound. Bonnie is still pretty new to this and hasn’t exactly figured out a sound to make yet.)

-Tends to skip shows when he decides it’s too much, and goes off to hide.

-Following the previous, he used to hang around up on the catwalks in Gator Golf. However after being knocked off by the Hurricane hole-in-one, he’s since refused to even touch the steps up.

-Monty can easily be allured with the jingles of keys

-Used to address Freddy as ‘Captain’, but suffered through every stage of grief the day Freddy called him ‘Comrade’ in response. He hasn’t done it since

-Keeps track of regulars on his golf course and often gets along with them

-Spontaneously breakdances in the West Arcade

SUN & MOON (AND ECLIPSE):

-Sun was SO shit at being a daycare attendant after being moved from the Theatre. He was very used to seeing kids from a distance most of the time, and didn’t know how to handle taking care of them for long periods of time.

-Moon tends to jingle miserably across the floor whenever he’s up while the lights are on. Having been set up as a sleepy time animatronic, he has become quite nocturnal. Does that stop him from being up and about while the lights are on? No. Will he be tired and complain about it the whole time? Of course!

-Moon laughs at kids when they fall and Sun has to tell him off

-Moon throws ball pit balls at Staff Bots and gets told off for that too

-Before the events of SB, Sun and Moon were really close, damn near inseparable

-Sun and Moon used to share a body (which they resented a little bit). They took a nasty fall and the people who did the repairs went “you know what? Might as well” and separated them into two seperate bodies instead. The old body was left in parts and service, and later became Eclipse.

-At the start, Eclipse was a blend of Sun and Moon. They inherited both negative and positive traits from both ends, which created a balance of function and flaw. However this withered away a bit, and by Ruin, Eclipse was only taking on the positive traits. They lost Sun’s anxiousness and uptight personality, but maintained his patience and gentleness. They lost Moon’s pessimism and self preservation, but kept his playfulness and consideration. This has made Eclipse 100% In Denial Of All Bad Things, which does more bad than good.

-Moon doubles as a security animatronic. It’s his job to make sure everyone else is in their assigned station at night, which is why he can confidently leave the daycare, but Sun does not. He doesn’t care much for this job however and usually doesn’t do it.

-Sun tends to find a lot of the human staff incompetent. Between Moon’s bugs and twitches, the power issues in the daycare, the generators in the play equipment, and things regularly breaking down, he’s come to be impatient and exhausted with the maintenance crew. He quickly becomes exasperated when Moon starts to twitch out, because it means the past people to fix him did a shit job of it. Again.

-Sometimes ghosts of the past come to visit. Not to cause trouble, but just to check out how Freddy’s is doing. Charlie, being 3, is often snatched up by security and put in the daycare. Sun cannot figure out for the life of him how she keeps escaping so quickly whenever she’s brought in.

-Sun hates it when things are untidy. It’s just annoying to have stuff all over the place, and he prefers to keep it clean. Things being too much of a wreck can make him feel overwhelmed

-Sun occasionally calls Moon ‘Starlight’, and Moon regularly calls Sun ‘Sunny’ or ‘Sunshine’

-Sun manifests genders at Moon and he’s only very vaguely aware of it

-They both have a bit of merchandise, usually from staff bots handing it out near the daycare and Sun going ‘OOO we should have this!’ Sun has a Roxy graphic tee and Moon has one for Monty. It doesn’t fit the clown aesthetic but they wear them occasionally nonetheless

DJMM AND MAPBOT:

-Map Bot has the entirety of One Direction’s ‘You Don’t Know You’re Beautiful’ memorised

-DJ’s station is decorated with lots of maps, because Map Bot offers him a map every time he visits, and he accepts it every time

-Map Bot scares guests on purpose and thinks it’s hilarious

-DJ’s main body doubles as storage. That’s where all the mini men go.

-DJ tends to lose mini men because there’s too many for him to keep track of. Some have names. Some don’t. If he loses one, so be it. It’s every infant for himself in the Pizzaplex.

-Map Bot often carries Caution Bots around like they’re his babies. They enjoy it

-This might be the dumbest one yet but- DJ and Map Bot are possessed by Phone Dude and Phone Guy respectively. It started as a joke because we thought it was funny but now it’s stuck. They don’t remember ever being people, and nobody questions why Map Bot is significantly more expressive and talkative than the other staff bots.

-DJ gets along really well with the band members and occasionally talks them into performing along to his mixes. Roxy and Chica are most prone to caving, Roxy because she loves the attention and Chica because there’s no staff to tell her she’s not allowed to sing. They always have a good time

[bluginkgo]

Quick announcement (before the diarrhea of information):

I'm gonna go on a semi-hiatus for a week or so. I'll still be around, just not posting any drawings. Need to replenish my energy and drawing reserves cause I'm dead >_<

Sleep behind scenes!

So... Ginkgo why the hell did this take you so long? Sorry, sorry 😅 Here's what happened. I got burned out after like 10 pages (specifically the manor backgrounds killed me, plus having the full gang in the story) and then got sick and was not feeling all that great. Working through the burn out, sick, AND college work on top was quite hard not gonna lie though, but I wanted to finish it ^^

Alright, now as for little unnecessary Easter eggs, I added as nods to the show and my other interests. ^_^

1. Undertale save point. Undertale had me sucked in for a good long while, and for some odd reason decided to re-emerge in a form of the star save. Made it purple for Uzi's effect over N. She made him more rebellious, so he started to question why is it his memories and dreams are strange/corrupted/missing instead of just going with the flow.

2. Ep3 nod. V and N have history, history that I wish we get to see. V was nicer, kinder, in my opinion, prior to the absolute solver going rampage. So it makes sense for them to have some sort of friendship at the VERY least. So I decides to give it a small spin to it too. A direct quote from ep3 ^_^

3. Ep 2 + 5 nod. I kinda pulled the moment when James dismissed N from ep2 together with events that follow after N leaves library in ep5. Chronologically, these events don't fit together, seeing as ep2 is when N first meets Cyn and ep5 is when she's already set up the massacre. But this is exactly what I was going for. N's memories are jumbled at best, so I took liberty in mixing, matching, and editing his memories just as the admin program would probably.

4. Absolute Solver symbols nod. My chats with @absolute-solver (sorry for annoying you with tag 😅) made me realize that the absolute solver ought to have more presence now. It's activated and running systems in the background for Uzi. Whiiiiich means that drawing absolute solver should start now. BUT, it's rudimentary at best. Symbols don't really make sense and are not completed for most of the time. Not until Uzi at least sees the error message in ep2, when she truly starts questioning what that weird symbol on her visor is. I headcanon that N does know or at least feel that the absolute solver symbol is familiar, hence the little comment.

5. Absolute Solver Nori. Why is there so many absolute solver Nori around? I'm certain she went back to normal, just like in pictures Khan showed us in ep4 post core collapse. But I connected the solvers together here. Uzi's absolute solver string is up and running, and because the solver is a hivemind, it'd connect the memories and warp them a little. So that's why Uzi's doodle of her and Nori at the end (and during memory recall) was so full of absolute solver. It's slowly taking root, whether she wants it to or not.

Personal touches/added/cut ideas:

N's tail wrapping around Uzi like a hug. Originally, Uzi was supposed to look more nervous, but not for the reasons you might think. I cut the nervous look to a more upset look so it wouldn't be confused for fear. Uzi's never scared of N (yes, I don't count ep2 either, that was a lot of events at once and very little time to process them). The nervous look was more of a "Why are you butting in?" type, you know? Being a loner makes you cautious, so when N prods at feelings, I figured Uzi would be a bit defensive.

Cyn is fully rendered and yet I glitched her so much I felt bad. So here's full absolute solver Cyn eldrich monster thingy. ^_^

I pulled a Hazbin hotel moment. Did you see it? Abracadabra GONE! All the scraps from first couple pages with NUzi chatting POOFED out of the existence. Did I get lazy and tired? Yes, that was the tell tale sign of burn out, when I stopped keeping track of background details and just kept the pod.

These progress shots show pretty well how the story boarding goes and how I change my mind too easily. 😅 storyboard is still as much of a mess as ever, sketch shows you I was gonna keep Uzi's hat, but decided against it in final product. I figured this. Nori gave Uzi the jacket whenever Uzi got a bigger body + hair. These are the same jacket and hair Uzi has in canon. Uzi's body is just upgraded again and her hair gets shorter in that regard. The jacket would be big on her, and cover her hands, but what's up with the fluff if I draw canon jacket more spiky? And where's the death battery drawing? I headcanon Uzi drew those on once she got into the angsty teenager stage. The jacket is more spiky from wear and tear.

Fun fact! You can sorta tell who's gonna show up in the comic by what memes I post prior. Here's some examples ^_^ Cyn showed up, and that was first practice with maid outfits and Cyn's eldrich form. Closely followed by manor gang, the second/final form of maid and butler outfits and prime practice for those scenes. This example is a bit spoiler for a meme I'm working on right now! I've never drawn Nori before, so I quickly sketched out the idea and continued on with the comic (otherwise, I'd lose my steam and procrastinate on it again). Memes are filler for you guys while I work on the actual projects (comics), and along the way, they give me practice and change in drawing style ^_^

Is it a coincidence that this comic is called Sleep with the release of a certain horror game? Actually, yeah pure coincidence 😅 I had this drafted allll the way back in November, and didn't take particular interest in poppy playtime until I saw lanky boi, which was actually during a stream I watched on release day of the chapter.

(I didn't know tumblr, or at least the phone app, had a tag limit of 30, BOY was I surprised @brookiedaaroacecookie that must have been THE tag city, sorry 😅)

Next comic is Loneliness 1 and 2

This one is split into 2 POVs from both Uzi and N side, thus its 2 separate comics. That one will be more NUzi centered, too, a slight angst and comfort spin to it. That will come... sometime. I have a few more projects I wanna finish up with prior to starting on these guys ^_^

Why are you still reading this? Omg, have a cookie 🍪 you made it. Have a nice day now ^_^

[littleladymab]

OC in 15

HELLO NEW TAG GAME tagged by @wintherlywords thank you!

Rules: Share 15 lines of dialogue from an OC that capture their character, personality, or vibe. Bonus points for using dialogue without other scene details, but you’re free to include those as well!

Sorry for any of the formatting looking funky I gotta run but wanted to get this up before heading off to gaming!

I'm doing this for Best Girl Ayn Starling -- it's a combination of stuff from her POV, her texts, the blog she writes, and from other character's POV

Please consider this an open tag!

“What makes you think I know?” Both Ming and Carmel give me A Look, and I release a sigh and an overly dramatic shrug. “Okay, so, I do, but I don’t like that you automatically assume that I do.” 

If it’s a come-on, he’s getting docked for such an obvious line. He is handsome though, in a sort of I played Hamlet in a college production sort of way, with dark, artfully styled hair, amber eyes that look like they could use another dose of caffeine, and tinted glasses perched on a broad, flat nose. Not to mention, he’s somehow managing to pull off all black without making it look weird, even though his natural tan speaks of an indoor pallor.  Oh, yeah, he’s definitely the type to hold a skull and Alas, poor Yorick me. It’s fine, I could be into it.

I would be that person in the library until they have to drag me out kicking and screaming. Silently, of course, because it’s still a library. 

From: Ayn Starling  I understand that, but I’m also going to ask that you respect me as a person and consider, maybe, answering me properly.  From: Ayn Starling  Maybe not now, and not about this, but at one point.  From: Ayn Starling  I’ll let you decide what to do about Zone because you’re right, he isn’t my concern.  From: Ayn Starling  Everything else is up to you.

“Christ, I hope that there’s not more than one Jonas Quinn.”

“I turned thirteen and you gave me some of your whiskey. You told her that you thought it would be funny.”

And, with equal angelic poise, Ayn answers, “Of course not. I don’t think you peg many women.” 

“Holy shit, Lysander, she made me do them until I left the house. I know she had her own plans for you when you lived with us, trying to clean you up and turn you into a functioning member of society and all that, but I was being groomed to be a miniature version of her. She was probably secretly arranging a marriage between one of my father’s coworker’s sons or something.”

 My fellow citizens: We speak for those who cannot. The voice of the hallows and haunts. The voice of the abandoned, the lost, the forgotten — all hope abandon ye who enter here.  We will not be silenced. We will not be cowed, corralled, cornered.

“Someone is calling out ALICE — specifically, the Program Manager — on their approach to the game,” Ayn adds. She turns to Fletcher, eager, since he understood her reference. “We were promised a way out of this city, right? Then why play a game when they should be that benevolent being and let us go without having to participate in their missions?”

“I thought...” The fingers of her free hand drum over the ceramic surface of the mug, revealing the logo in flashes. “I thought that I could be good enough for you this time.”

“Do you think what we’re doing is even worth it?” Her hand lifts and gestures to the shop around us — to the rest of Eminence. “Meliora. This is beyond you and me, I think. We never... We are two different shapes that tried to fit together.”

“I thought it was obvious, Darling,” she says with a pretty smile that is altogether very sweet and dangerous. “I want the people of Eminence to start fighting back.”

“I’m mad because we’re still fighting. Are you angry because I’m not wearing any pants?” 

Having chosen to participate in Meliora has proven to ALICE, to Patrick Mercer, to everyone reading this blog, that you were worthy. Not only of the truth or a way out, but worthy of being able to make your own choices.  You made the right decision, whatever it was.  No matter what has happened over these past few months, never, ever, regret that. 

[brainbrowserhistory]

Free Love and Consent

Once upon a time, in the magically wild year of 2001, an 11 year old boy would learn of a man that was both pastiche and parody.

Intense, yet hilarious.

Dripped in vulgarity, yet respectful in a very understandable way. Ok, maybe not understandable by most standards but if you're a horndog then it'll sort of make sense. And it was late 90s/early 2000s humor so vulgarity was being pushed any which way possible.

At 11 years old I watched Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me for the very first time on video. Soon after, I watched the original movie, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery on TBS. (Man, I miss the 90s sometimes. Forget sifting through your "for you" lists on streaming services, I used to sit on the TV Guide channel and see what was on all over and decide based on that. That, or play roulette and start channel surfing. If you wanted to really play with fate, start pressing numbers on your remote randomly. I first discovered porn that way, which might play into this topic later.)

Having been exposed to porn and adult programming by this point in life (oh hey, there it goes), and quickly beginning early stages of puberty, I felt a connection to Mr. Powers early in the film. The wildly liberating expression of his sexuality and sensuality was empowering. If there were really adults that were as open with their sexual identity as Austin, maybe my being so early-stage horny wasn't so bad. My mother quickly explained that the reasoning for Austin being so expressive and quirky was that he was meant to make fun of spy movies, specifically James Bond with the espionage, over-the-top villains, even more over-the-top plans of world domination manifested by Dr. Evil, and the ladies. James Bond always gets laid in his movies. GoldenEye with Pierce Brosnan was well-established in my pop-culture memory by this point. Not only was my undiscovered pansexual taste beginning to take hold by his gritty badassery as the MI6 agent, but the sexy visages of him and Famke Janssen duking it out in the sauna solidified my appreciation of strong women. Add Spike Spiegel's philosophy of "I love the kind of woman that can kick my ass" and we have established a cornerstone of one of my fantasies involving being trained by a muscle mommy who rewards progress with more than just praise.

So with a foundation of sex, guns, and cool music being built in my soul, Austin Powers was a well-fitting addition with the parodic manner bringing comedy to a few underlying messages through the first two films that I didn't think were really there. Most people probably wouldn't, but consider this meme:

Even the most sexed up man in all of history knew that taking advantage of women was never ok.

Now, I had a minor inkling of the importance of consent at the age of 11. Sexual abuse at an earlier time in my life had skewed the idea that it's ok to say no to things you don't want. Sex ed in school had briefly gone over club drugs and not leaving your drink unattended during a party because that's taking advantage of someone. Then, when you have romcoms that show the "importance of male persistence" with dudes holding boomboxes and running through airports to catch the girl before she leaves the country forever, 11 year old me certainly wasn't given a good roadmap to understanding consent.

However, I always admired this scene. Even though Austin had been making advances to Vanessa through the whole movie to this point, when the perfect opportunity to see his desires through comes up, he says no. I was floored. "But, that's what you wanted," I thought, "she said do it."

"You're drunk, it's not right."

It's not right. I knew alcohol could make people act weird and not normal (alcoholic cop for a mother, fun times), but the idea that you can't give consent while drunk had legitimately never occurred to me before watching this movie. To be fair, at 11 years old, how often should it really have been? In an ideal world, kids would be kept safe and innocent until they began to show signs of natural curiosity, at which point a parent or trusted adult would teach them about the more complicated aspects of life that await them. I had no such idealism in my world, sadly. A fact that haunted me into my late teens and early twenties, forcing me into some hard lessons about boundaries and consent, and made me appreciate Austin a bit more because despite his rampant horniness, he never really hurt anyone in a romantic sense. Vanessa makes her boundaries clear several times in the movie, and he immediately obliges. Despite being sexually charged he still respects her as a person with autonomy and feelings. By the end he realizes that his lifestyle in the 60s had the right idea, but somewhat poor execution due to he and people like him not realizing what the consequences of Free Love would have later in history. "No, man, freedom didn't fail. Right now we've got freedom and responsibility, it's a very groovy time."

It feels weird to reflect on it and see how much of my early thoughts on consent, respect, and sexual expression were influenced by movies. Part of me wants to call my younger self naive for latching onto some of the ideas that Austin introduced, but considering the rocky upbringing I had, I could have learned worse lessons from much worse sources. At least I'm not hating myself for liking more than the binary gender norms, or being so skeptical of others that I can't talk to people due to intense paranoia. I have other things that set off some paranoid tendencies, but that's a topic for another day.

I suppose that as long as a message or lesson you picked up in life was a positive one that had a decent influence in your life, then it really doesn't matter what the source was. Be it a mentor, a close friend, or a sexed up British spy that was cryogenically frozen for 30 years.

Thanks for reading, and sorry for the huge gap since the last post. Life happened a little too hard but I'm still here. See ya next time.

Laters!

[thelangunderground]

When Lady Bird met Riceboy Sleeps

I used to start writing my commentary on films while I watched it, but I surprisingly found out that it's actually not a very good strategy. I kept having to go back to the story just to discover what happened ten seconds ago. I'm trying to stop doing that, but I also don't think it's a good idea. I keep forgetting what I was thinking during a specific scene or I forget what I was feeling and had to write about. I remember the last thing I felt watching Lady Bird, while the closing sequence was playing, though. Everything looks boring until you let go of it.

Why does adolescence have to be so funny, heartbreaking and complex at the same time? Recently, I've seen so many people making fun of Greta Gerwig and her way of making films, whatever that means. But I don't think anyone could have directed and written this the same way that she has. No one can describe the confusion behind high school, friend status, college, motherhood, fatherhood, romance, making new friends, trying to fit in, general relationships and so many more things the same way that she did. I felt seen. Maybe it is because I'm white, just like everyone says: Lady Bird, a white girl with white problems. I do, however, think it's naive to put it like that in a nutshell.

So many things have stuck out to me, mostly the script. It's so on point. You laugh just like you cry, you're ashamed just like you're proud. There are shots and there are moments, and I believe movies are made out of moments. Let me put it like this: shots are just scenes you watch without any meaning or feeling behind it. You can watch a film and not feel anything after you finished it, it's something programmed and recorded. And you, reader, probably know that that is the worst type of film ever created. We watch movies to relate, to feel something, to escape reality and romanticize life. We watch movies to pretend like our life is a movie in which we are the protagonists for once. It's no wonder that when we watch a good film that fulfills its objective, we leave the movie theater like we're a brand new person. "Lady Bird" has moments, and those moments are very well used. 

Lately I’ve started to watch more films with mother and daughter - or son, in this case - relationships, such as "Riceboy Sleeps," directed by Anthony Shim and released in 2022. It was also the first film I reviewed in which I finally talked about this topic. It's two different realities, an asian mother and an american mother, but the gist of it is still there. I've become so fond of the subject of motherhood or even just womanhood some weeks ago when I came across a video on TikTok, and so I thought about how I've written about so many topics here on my profile but this one. This girl on the video was saying how mothers are so devalued on today's society because of patriarchy. 

This might be the result of my social bubble, but I've never seen a mom with an already grown up child, in their adolescence for instance, talk about being a mother in positive terms. I'll use my mom as an example: every time someone asks how a specific problem in her life occurred, she'll find a way to blame it on me. "It happened after I had you," she’d say, as she stared deep into my eyes. Of course, there are those special moments when she admits she's proud of me or has never been prouder of someone. However, talking about us, as a society in general, motherhood is taken as a liability, as a weight that you, parent, will have to carry on your shoulders for the rest of your life. But, what life are we talking about, anyway? Your life, as a woman at least, is over the moment you choose to keep that baby inside you. I am 18 years old, and a member of society. What happened to us to not consider motherhood something worthy of celebration? What happened to our moms to have this deep, never ending sadness inside them which makes impossible to describe their experience in words? Still, after this movie, my questions remain unanswered and, in fact, are even louder in my head.

I think it's a great way to end this review by talking a bit about Gerwig's fitting room scene, at the thrift shop. Everyone can say whatever they want about Greta, but no one will ever be as wise as her when she put that feeling, that teenage girl feeling, a feeling that doesn't even have a name, perfectly on paper. The thing about our mothers is that regardless of how much love they have for us, they will never be able to say in a normal amount if they like us. They will always hold that motherly love, the love that doesn't say what we look like to other people, what we feel like to other people. It's the love that fits us when we have no one else. Speaking about Shim's film, I can't imagine how hard it must be to be a mom and how harder it must be to be an Asian mother raising her kid in a foreign country. I always think about the overused, cliché and yet so beautiful sentence that is "don't blame your mom, she's also living life for the first time." I think, because parents are somewhat the teachers of our lives, we forget it's also their first time existing and experiencing things. They learn from us every day just like we learn from them. This love, this motherly love, teached us how to do right and wrong, it didn't teach us how to be liked. I think what hurts the most is that to be liked is something that we have to learn on our own while we coexist. And Greta is the woman who came closest to teaching us how to be liked through a screen. In fact, she went further: she was the woman who came closest to teaching the difference between to like and to love.

[fatummortem]

@legacychosen asked: ✘ Any unpopular opinions about your muse? Muns Interpretation ~ Accepting

I've had a few over the years when you incorporate a lot of my muses. Feel free to Skip reading a section if you want.

It was very popular to think that Daken had sex with a lot of those he seduced with his pheromones. Granted it's still very popular. I only count one of them as him actually following through with it & it's in the Dark Avengers, he got Karma thrown right back in his face when she called him Wolverine the next morning.

Personally I just see him as killing them or using them to get his own means & ollying out back in the day. (which isn't good by any means) The mansion where he's had a threesome is a bit iffy I suppose. Mainly for the fact the girls there acted oblivious to the dead bodies of the Mansion owners. Though sense I don't read it as him using pheromones (drugs make you stupid okay) I don't see him as using them for that purpose.

Bullseye is a very popular ship, i hate it. I see it has Daken amusing himself by turning Bullseye's own homophobia against him.

With Rosie, well in the days of New Earth all people see is her anger. now it's a bit different but yeah all they see is that.

They don't pull apart her character & see someone who was traumatized being put on a team where her trauma is constantly being thrown in her face. I think for someone with traumatic experiences would have issues letting that go personally. It doesn't make her actions right, but she's also programed to respond with violence.

Granted it mainly stems from Wonder Wench & later down the comic canon it's shown other's saw the good in Rose too, it's still something hard to deal with when you're struggling. Add onto the fact that all of the heroes she considered to be father figures or close to her abandoned her (it's something specifically shown), adds fuel to the fire. It just confirms her opinions that she should hate heroes as the first thing she does when she's put with the titans as a child is to say just that.

Hell even her being saved is Slade ignoring the prospect of bombings (which sense all the cities Dick listed were bombed it's more likely it was on purpose) and even then she was helped to a point to stand on her own feet & thrown with the Teen Titans to relearn things. Only to have meeting where she's states Dick eyes her like she's going to randomly stab him. I mean you try thinking heroes are a good thing, when the person that saved you is also the person who damned you.

Which is Dick Grayson. That's a headtrip in & of itself. Especially when you realize, with what Tim says about him not being able to heal what was already done... because she was on the serum for so long. which wouldn't be a factor if all the heros including Dick, hadn't thought a child should stay within that type of abuse because SHE WOULD BE GOOD FOR HIM.

These days a lot of Rosie fans are from the New Earth version, prefering her origins be from there. Which is very nice.

Granted my favourite quote of hers is 'people often judge other's by their actions & not their reasons for those actions' so it fits.

I mean i could probably think of more, but these stand out because they're my longest muses.

[ghostiivenus]

WAHHH I LOST SO MUCH WRITTEN PROGRESS I SWEAR TO GOD I STARTED WRITING IT UGH

WHATEVER IMMA REDO IT NOW WHILE I’M STILL DETERMINED TO GET IT DONE!!!

AU Info (mostly basic species crap) + Lore!!!

The butler drones (early worker models) were obviously the first drones created, made solely for servitude to the flesh people (humans. Don’t ask lol I’m writing this at like 12:30 a.m. which is when I get weird). Well, as they continued to serve, work for and build for the flesh people, the need slowly arose for more material. And while they can go mining and hold a pickaxe, their small statures and build clearly weren’t originally intended for very heavy work. Thus, Miner Drones were created for digging and mining jobs. The miners are fitted with two kinds of claws: stubby and little claws, mostly intended for breaking up dirt claws and basic everyday use (as portrayed in my little doodle of Miner N), and what would later be dubbed ‘Disassembly Claws,’ long claws intended for heavy-duty use such as mining precious stones and ores, and even just regular rocks. They’re the first and original versions of the claws seen on Disassembly Drones. They have the basic bodies of Worker Drones, but they have sharp fangs and stand far taller in statures at 6’0 tall and up! (N is only 6’3, rather short for a Miner lol.) Besides claws, the biggest and easiest way to differ Miners from basic Workers through appearance is that Miners also have an extension cord/electrical outlet tails w/ plugs on the ends. Miners accumulated into what became known as ‘Colonies,’ each individual colony being run and kept in order by a ‘Nurse Drone,’ old Hospital Medics that were repurposed to work solely on other drones. 

Now, during the Uprising, it was only Worker Drones that actually stopped taking orders from the company. Miners and Nurses stayed in line, doing as they knew best. So, while this mostly saved them from the DDs, anyone who happened to get caught between a Disassembly Drone and a Worker Drone would be killed no-question. Because of the DD work ethic, anyone and anything in the way of their base jobs is an obstacle that will be forcibly removed. As long as they aren’t completely trashed, luckily, a Nurse can probably repair them.

ONTO LORE NOW!!!

So obviously let me address the biggest issue and the elephant in the room: “How the f*ck is N supposed to exist as both a Miner AND a Disassembly Drone at the exact same time?!?! It doesn’t make sense!” Well actually, J answers this question first us in an episode!

The company literally made multiple models of a bunch of different drones. And while she specifically says something about how they only remake drones that are good at their jobs, that’s not an issue here!

See, because N was one of the first drone models anyway. He was a butler at the Elliot Mansion. And while he was a tad clumsy, his programme made him super soft-spoken, kind, helpful, compliant and obedient! And that seems like the kind of programming that would be reused in multiple models of drone, hence why N was the very first Miner model. His gentle and mellow temperament made him easy to get along with, paired with exceptional obedience practically makes him the perfect test drone! After he was made successfully, they decided to continue the line of Miners. Though seeing as they handle heavy work, they would need regular daily maintenance just to retain functional working order… So they repurposed the shell of an old drone that used to work in a hospital, fitted with mechanic knowledge in addition to her original first-aid, and shipped her to Copper-9 to accompany N. This drone was Irene Joyce. Now, at some point she had an accident in the mines while working, and didn’t shut down and ‘die’ as intended. This event is actually what turned her into a Zombie Drone. This affects her in almost no way though (but more on that later)! And she named her tail Jace.

Now, due to the fact that they’re mostly exempt from disassembly means they never meet the main cast, right?! WRONG!!!

Actually, regular N meets Miner N while he and Irene are out for a walk. (This is after he and Irene became a couple! More on that later too! I’ll make more posts about this AU dw.) N is out hunting, and he mistakes Irene for a regular worker, and goes to attack her, but Miner N protects her because he’s EXTREMELY protective <3

Well, this very quickly stops regular N, seeing as he is confused and probably terrified that he’s basically seeing his identical twin. I’m sure you’d do the same too. And basically, everyone is just c o n f u s e d. Well, this is far before he met Uzi. Since they’re not workers and don’t wanna be involved but are extremely curious about regular N, they consistently meet ip with him in secret in the mines and they all just… Get to know each other.

That’s all for today!!! And this post!!! I’m super sleepy and it’s now 9:45 so… IDK! Yay!

I made yet ANOTHER MD AU with extra drone types

THEN I DREW N AS A FANCY DRONE AND I LOVE HIM AND THAT MODEL OF N IS DATING A NURSE THEMED DRONE NAMED IRENE JOYCE

i need to post the OC sheets and art lol TvT

Just wanted to tell you ^^ also HI!

DO TELL

HI !!

[hrokkall]

Hi in honour of the short carla conversation we had the other day. Miss Carla Dosa. To no ones surprise

MORE than happy to talk about her :]

Favorite thing about them: I love how her reviews of the Weasel Kid games really reflect her attitude towards Lionel at the time. She really just wanted to root for him no matter what (she doesn’t even seem angry over SWK 06 like all of the other reviewers, just sad) and it’s a shame how that turned out for both of them. Congratulations on surviving being a human character in the Mullinsverse Carla and also sorry about your best friend being blinded by success and ultimately consumed by it.

Least favorite thing about them: She didn’t appear at all? Come on, she could’ve at least gotten a grainy picture like Kaycee did but. Nope. </3

She did get to make a game and get it published to steam though so good for her in that regard. Even if it opened a back door to (fictitiously) installing a clown virus on your computer.

Favorite line: I don’t have a favorite line but I DO want to point out that the font she uses in Secrets of Legendaria is the Minecraft font. Absolutely fantastic on her part.

brOTP: The dynamic between her and Sado is so interesting to me and I wish it was explored more in canon (but it wasn’t/probably won’t be in the future so I’ll just do it myself). The way I see it is that Sado is purely chaotic neutral in all respects except around Carla, who she sees as a friend and therefore actually listens to (Carla initially worried that she’d accidentally hard-coded her with that loyalty and—after learning she was alive—immediately tried to undo that by insisting that Sado can do whatever she wants regardless, but that’s not true. Sado is sticking around because she wants to and that’s about it).

OTP: I don’t really ship Carla with anyone

nOTP: I don’t not ship Carla with anyone either—again, I’ve seen maybe two or three Carla ships and I don’t have a strong opinion on any of them one way or another.

Random headcanon: Pretty much everything is a headcanon regarding this character but I’d like to imagine that—following the incident with Secrets of Legendaria—Carla gets a job at GameFuna proper (honestly not much of an upgrade, but GameFuna is in desperate need of programmers who actually know how to program… the head of the company who insists on pushing all the concepts himself definitely isn’t qualified, no matter how passionate he is. Plus, GameFuna doesn’t give a shit about someone’s reputation, AND she gets to work from home a lot of the time, it’s a win in her book). She’s also not aware that her boss is the Actual Devil just because that’s funnier in my book. He’s just an eccentric asshole to her. “Yeah he’s a CEO obviously he’s the devil. What do you mean from the bible.”

Unpopular opinion: I don’t think there are any unpopular Carla opinions on account of the fact that I don’t think anyone remembers she existed outside of… maybe three people. I’d say four but that’s pushing it.

Song I associate with them: Hm, don’t think I have a specific one—at least not one that actually fits. Maybe Remain Nameless by Florence + the Machine? Not 100% on that though. As a bonus I inexplicably associate her with Goodnight Socialite by the Brobecks. It has absolutely nothing to do with her character as far as I’m aware. I just think she’d enjoy it I guess.

Favorite picture of them: There aren’t any </3

[sapphos-darlings]

I have no one else I could possibly talk about this with, so I wanted to reach out and maybe get a reality check.

is it stupid of me to be seriously considering making plans to travel to meet someone I met online only a few months ago?

as I’m putting together my plans for the summer, there’s a way it could actually happen, but based on certain factors, it’s a decision I would have to make fairly soon. meeting her wouldn’t be the only thing I’d be doing there (more or less professional development), but it would be the primary reason why I went there instead of somewhere else more reasonable (she lives overseas).

we met in a group discussion space catered to shared skills/interests, and falling for her or anyone there was never my intention. at that point, I was still struggling to pinpoint my identity, and was experiencing a lot of denial and negative thought patterns surrounding it.

she’s a writer, and as I started reading her work, it made me really think. suddenly, I was writing too and thinking about things I had never really fully processed before. slowly but surely, i watched so much of my internalized homophobia dissipate, and I feel freer than I ever have.

in discussing the writing and shared interests, somehow, we clicked instantly. I can’t pinpoint when it went from us being close in a platonic way to something else entirely, but it has. I’ve never felt this way before and I think about her all the time. i find myself blushing and getting butterflies even when we are just having a regular conversation. we talk every single day and both lose some sleep over it because time zones, but I just love listening to her. there are so many coincidences with aspects of our lives that it just feels like something too big to ignore.

we’ve discussed meeting as a definite hypothetical, like… it has to happen someday, but who knows when. As such, we have a lot of specific things we’d like to do if it ever happened as well. so now I’m staring this opportunity in the face like… am I moving to fast? am I crazy? and if I am, would it be that bad if I want to do something a little reckless for the first time in my life? even if it were to end in heartbreak, I feel like I need to see at least one great love story in my life through. but it could just be the initial infatuation talking. I’m new to this, as we’ve established, and I’m in my early 20s.

so, if you have thoughts, let me know, and don’t be afraid to be brutally honest.

My dear Anon, sounds absolutely wonderful! You are in love and that is very exciting! Things we do for love can feel wild and crazy and that is not always a bad thing, and sometimes taking risks is worth it. Been there! (Heartbroken in the end, but no regrets.)

But as an older adult, let me give you a little checklist and a talking-to about what you're about to do. You're probably reading this hoping I'd say go for it, because you definitely sound like you have already pretty much decided to go no matter what I say, but please, recognize that bias and take your time. That means debating yourself, making proper lists weighing pros and cons, actually looking at your money situation and thinking ahead, second-guessing and spending minimum three days before actually making a decision.

Seriously consider following:

Are you giving up a serious opportunity for work or education, or are you just picking a slightly less good one because this girl is there? I'd say do not throw away possibly one time opportunities for your own education or work for a chance with someone. But! If the choice is between like "the best and most fitting overseas school program" and "the third best/most fitting school program and meeting the girl", then I'd say taking the chance with this girl is worth it.

What's your financial situation now? How about in three years? What's best for your education and finances in the long term? Do not go overboard now if that means emptying your bank account, but rather save up and travel in a year or two.

Prepare for the worst: what if she's not at all like you imagine? What if you meet her and find there's no attraction? What if she gets cold feet? What if she breaks your heart? Take a good moment to plan for the worst. It's not to say "don't do it", but to make sure you have a plan B, C and D. Read again the first point and consider, is it worth it if she breaks your heart?

Seriously, you need a plan B. Plan your trip and your stay and your education/job/whatever you're there for also independent of her. Look out for yourself.

You need to tell someone that you're meeting a person. You can just say an online friend, but remember that all rules about meeting people online stand here too, especially when you're in a foreign country: Meet in a public place, ask for her picture beforehand and talk to her in voice chat, make sure you have people who know where you are and with whom, inform your emergency contact, and so on.

And I think that's it. Do not throw away work or education for a chance, don't ruin yourself financially, make sure you're safe and secure, and prepare for heartbreak. Remember, this has to be worth the time and money and possible sacrifices even if nothing comes of it. This girl can't be your only reason.

Other than that, well. Think about the story you'll have.

-Lavender

[nanamisflowerfield]

︵✿︵︵✿︵︵✿︵︵✿︵︵✿︵︵✿︵︵✿︵

It was a big day, well at least for Idia. After all it was his crush’s birthday! Scared and excited, he tried to prepare a gift for his beloved crush in secret.

︶✿︶︶✿︶︶✿︶︶✿︶︶✿︶︶✿︶︶✿︶

@teashopwritingzz I know I don’t have to do it, but I really really really wanted to give at least one small present to you! Because you totally deserve it!🥺❤️ Happy belated Birthday! I know that yesterday was your birthday, but I wasn‘t online yesterday due the post+ demonstration! D: I still hope that you had a wonderful day yesterday and today and the whole week! Stay safe and healthy too!!

Idia took a deep breath, staring at the list of gift ideas that you might like, but a small voice back in his head kept telling him, that you would never like any of those gifts. “I’m sure that (Y/N) (L/N) will like it!” His younger brother always said, but the tall dorm leader of Ignihyde was still pouting at his thoughts. If you would reject any of those, you would also reject his feelings. It would be like a critical hit, getting it from the most greatest SSR character ever. “If you are still unsure, you can watch them. Maybe you will figure out what (Y/N) (L/N) will like.” Ortho advised his big bro, who glanced over his shoulder to the only person he might listen to at this very important situation. “Maybe you are right…” Idia’s gaze wandered from his brother to the list he had on his phone. Headphones, phonecases, games, books and more were listed on it, but would you liked them?

“Owww! My paw!” Grim cursed the ground, after he fell down from the bed, being accidentally pushed down by you. “Sorry, Grim.” Apologizing by petting him on the head and promising to give him a can of tuna later, he halfheartly accepted your apology, walking with you to school for another mayhap exciting school day. “I will only accept it, because it’s your birthday.” The cat-like friend of yours, fummed, watching the Heartslabyul duo walk into your direction to greet you and wish you a happy birthday. “Trey-senpai even baked a cake.” Deuce told you, getting elbowed by Ace, who groaned at him that the birthday party should be a surprise, only to spoil it himself. “A surprise party…? I’m probably not invited…” Idia watched the screen, his eyes never leaving you, hopeful to get any informations of what you might wish for, while his fingers tipped on his keyboard, coding something he always had on mind.

As you wrote on paper everything important professor Crewel told the class, Ace drummed with his finger on the table, while Grim was half sleeping next to you and Deuce tried his best to be a perfect student. “Hey, can you read the list of invited students later on? Did we invite every friend of yours?” Deuce whispered to you, getting harsh words of the professor for interrupting the lesson. But every time Crewel watched away, you read all names of your friends on it, only noticing that one name was missing. The person you wanted to see not only through screen. Idia Shroud. But maybe he couldn’t come over or doesn’t want to for being such a shy and yet adorable being.

Surprisingly the day went on like every other day. You laughed, had fun, talked to your friends and went to the Heartslabyul garden, while wearing shiny bright white clothes to show the whole school that it was indeed your birthday, like many other students had to wear on theirs. It was a bit embarrassing to talk with plenty of students about your birthday, but it still made you happy nonetheless, even when you still hoped to talk on specific student of NRC on this very day. But he didn’t came, so maybe you should get your little present from him by visiting Idia. “That’s a great party, guys. Thank you all so much, but I will be gone for a short time.” You smiled at your friends, watching them having fun, eating delicious food and talking to each other.

Idia yelped as he heard a knock on the door. Wasn’t everyone gone and having fun right now? Who was knocking on the door? Arguing with Ortho with mere stares, the younger Shroud walked to the door, opening it to your delight and Idia’s dismay, as he stared at the door opening more and more and then- oh no, by the great seven, was it truly you?! You were supposed to be at your party, having the time of your life with your dear friends and not be here! Why were you here?!

Like a good child, Ortho greeted you, standing next to the door to give you some space to walk through the door to Idia’s room. While you were smiling at the Shroud brothers, Idia was sitting on his chair, turning around to hide his blushing face that got warmer by every second you stood there and talked to Ortho. The tips of his hair and ears were dusted cheek and he was sure, that some might compare to him to fresh cherries!

“Sorry to disturb you-“ You started, getting interrupted by Ortho, who dragged you into the room, telling you that you would never disturb any of those two. “Oh… Uhm… Alright.” With the same smile that Idia fell for, your eyes stared at his back. Oh, how much you had wishes to hold the introverted boy in your embrace, pat him and give him the love and affection he deserved. “I-I-It’s… alright…” Idia sputtered and stuttered, trying to avoid your gaze in fear that you might tease him for having a crush on you. He just couldn’t help himself. You were such a lovely person. So nice, helpful and that smile. He could babble around, what a great person you were in his boring shut-in life. That you were like the light in his dark life. A total ultra super duper rare card in the gacha games he keeps playing, being frustrated that he couldn’t get those cards, but at least could look at them on photos. “Am I creepy…?” Idia mumbled to himself, forgetting your presence for a second until you asked him to repeat it, after not able to hear it. “N-Nothing!”

Fortunately or mayhap even unfortunately, Ortho knew of Idia’s feelings and how much he had took a liking towards you, which is why he had asked you, why you were in the Ignihyde dorm. “Oh… I wanted to get my present.” The blue-haired tall student turned around, nearly shrieking in fear that you figured out, that he wanted to give you a gift as well like plenty of your friends, who unfortunately had gifted you many presents he had listed a couple weeks ago. “My present would be… to spend more time with you, Idia.” Your gaze wandered to the ground as your cheeks got warmer by your mere words and wish you had, not realizing that Idia’s face was mirroring yours at the same time your words had left your mouth.

That was a gift that he would love to give you every day as long as you wanted to have him by his side. His mouth opened slightly, wanting to talk, before you had asked him what he was programming right now as you took a look at the codes, ignoring the fact that a humming Ortho left the room, so he might not disturb you two love birds. “A g-game… I’m trying to make a small game I had in mind for quite some time.” He answered, staring at it once again.

“Have you finished it already?“ The bluehead nodded. “May I play it?” Mumbling a few words here and there, Idia hoped that his hair hide his flustered face, but he nonetheless let you sit next to him and play his selfmade game, even though he feared that you would reach the end of it and find out about his big secret he never wanted to reveal to you.

“Another level up. Great!~” You cheered, playing the rpg of Idia’s even though your friends might miss you during your birthday party. You should get back, but you couldn’t stop playing the game, after all you has nearly reach the endboss! “Is that a giant cat? He reminds me of Grim.” You chuckled, trying to defeat the endboss with the spells of the protagonist named Hadia. It was a cute game.

The plot of it was like plenty of other rpgs. The protagonist Hadia, a royal guy fell in love with Readi, a sweet princess who got kidnapped by the evil cat-monster Grimopy. Grimopy tried to be the strongest wizard and king and had plenty of henchmen like Dice and Acepo, which were quite strong enemies. Hadia had to train a lot and even gained the help of different wizards like Lio, a sleepy lion, Otto, a cute robot. Then there were Ralice, Tri, Phone-Addicted Rabbit, who still had no name, because Idia couldn’t find a good fitting name for the character. Marteus, Kala, Azure and many other characters and all of them reminded you of your friends. That meant that Hadis was probably Idia and the lovely princess Readi was… you. “Cute game.” You whispered to yourself, using the last spell to defeat the boss, watching the end scene of the rpg.

Hadis was rushing through the castle until he found his beloved princess. When he leaned down to kiss her awake with the kiss of true love, she woke up and they confessed their loves, swearing to each other to be together forever until they lives will end.

“I think I have a new ship.” You giggled, pointing at the protagonists, while you looked at Idia, the blushing mess. “I’m really glad that they are together. They are perfect and cute together. So sweet. I hope that my Hadis likes me as much as he does…” You commented, shutting his computer down, while Idia clenched his fists, knowing that you finally know about his feelings. “Come. We have to go to a party, Idia.” You smiled at the marveled dorm leader. “P-Party?!” Faster than he could expect it, you grabbed his hand in yours, pulling him away from his room towards the garden of the Heartslabyul dorm. “Oh, I like you too, my Hadis.” - “I-I like you too… my Readi.” With the other hand of his, he tried to hide his red face as you chuckled at him, happy that you finally can call him yours.

[ruvatia]

Sorry if this is a bit much with everything going on, but could I request a scenario where the Paladins + Matt & Lotor have a black s/o and they’re scared abt everything that’s happening in their country and are sad that racial injustice is happening? I’ve been rlly worried the past few days, but if this is smth too uncomfy I understand ;w; Thank you 💖💖💖

This got really long, I apologize but I turned it into half-headcanons with just the main paladins-- i apologize for not doing all the characters you’ve mentioned, but I don’t think they would fit all in a single post anyways www

On another note I hope you and every other reader take good care of their mental health; it’s important to be aware of what’s going on but it’s also important to be in the right mindspace to be able to tackle everything that’s being shared. It’s pain that’s been boiling for a very long time and there is absolutely no shame in taking some downtime to recover before heading back into current issues.

SHIRO:

If you were saddened, Shiro would suggest that maybe you switch to something else; if there was something that he knows will distract you and temporarily have you be a little more at ease, he’d do that!

But also maybe add a little twist-- extra soft blankets (fresh out of the oven! Screw the bills you’re worth it), extra cheese on your favorite dish, whatever it is that can make your smile a little wider, bigger or brighter just let him know!

Would give you hugs if you asked, but usually Shiro pets your head and brushes your cheek for comfort

He also does this when he wants to ask something of you, but thats another story

Why the TV was still on was a mystery to you, you’d stopped listening a long time ago. Your partner besides you noticed, and you felt the hand around your shoulder tighten his grip a little, bringing you out of your thoughts.

“Hey, maybe we should watch something else?” he asked softly, brushing your cheek with his hand. “I can’t really listen to this anymore.”

“Yeah… Sure.” you replied, though it felt like an automated response more than your actual opinion.

“Okay, I’ll switch to that weird show Pidge recorded the other day, we agreed to watch it, right?” he replied, quickly grabbing the remote to change the program.

The first episode started playing, but the moment that it did, you felt cold as Shiro left your side.

“Where are you going?” you asked, your interlaced fingers the only thing keeping him close.

“Ah, I thought I’d make us something. We both kinda skipped dinner….”

He’d thought about putting something together that you’d like, maybe order dessert to surprise you but seeing the look on your face, leaving your side was the hardest thing to do right now.

So he gave in, and your both fell asleep until the doorbell rang with your delivery.

KEITH:

I have this headcanon that Keith isn’t very good with physical touch but after the end of voltron and after enough time of humanitarian relief, he learns how important it is for someone that’s in a specific state of mind

So the best he has to offer when his words fail is physical touch

Over your time together he’s learned what you need depending on your mood, and it helped him out lots when you were more vocal about it-- if anything he liked it when you asked for things that he could easily deliver, he’d do anything to see you smile

A hand came over your phone screen, Keith’s fingers lacing into yours and making you drop the device onto the crevices of the sofa.

“Why did you--”

“You’ve been staring at that thing for the past hour, biting at your nails.” he said in a worried tone. “That’s enough. We’re going to bed.”

“But it’s just--”

“We’re going to bed.” he repeated in a harsher tone, lifting you off your seat.

Keith sat down onto the bed first, pulling you into him. You both fell onto the bed, Keith quickly pulling the covers over your shoulders before his arms came around you.

“My alarm is my phone.”

“That’s nice, but we both know we have nothing to do tomorrow.” he replied right away, making you chuckle.

“Keith…” you called, your hands sneaking up to his face.

You brushed away some of his hair from his face as he gave you a complicated expression, unable to reflect the small smile you wore. He knew things were shit outside, that being apart from your family and other loved ones was a toll on both you and that lately negative thoughts have plagued you more often than not but Keith, despite his good intention was still somewhat of an awkward man.

“Thank you.”

He kissed you in reply and you both left it at that, glad that he had someone like you to meet him halfway.

LANCE:

Lots of hugs the moment he feels something is off with you

Will be a brat™ for the sole purpose of distracting you, bET

I feel like post-series Lance tries his best to be as observant as Allura and tries to understand others better-- but it didn't take a genius or incredible empath to know why your eyes looked like they were about to overflow at the sight of the news.

I’d like to think that Lance, with a big connected family is one of the paladins that very easily gets what you’re going through, wouldn’t be surprised he’s been called one or two things in his past either

That being said it doesn’t mean that he completely understands your personalized struggles with racial injustices that you encounter everyday; as another minority himself + coming from a culture and upbringing that might be different than yours, its a very different experience.

Memories flooded as the news anchor spoke about “lootings” and as you scrolled down your feed to see feeble attempts at sympathy from local peacekeepers. You sigh and retweet another thread, only to find something equally as shocking right after. You stopped commenting in quote retweets a while ago, you felt like you were constantly repeating that none of this was okay and that a reform was desperately needed. Rather than typing out your thoughts you typed out your name, address and email over and over again, signing one petition after the other.

Hearing sigh after sigh, Lance eventually put an arm around your shoulder. He startled you, but his soft voice made both your shoulders and your guard lower.

“Hey, do you want to make a midnight snack with me? I’m getting kinda hungry.”

“What about that new rule we were talking about? Not eating 4 hours before we went to bed?”

“Every diet has one or two cheat days, don’t they?” he replied, kissing one of your eyelids. “Come on, I’m sure your neck is sore from being like that for so long.”

In the end you both made some soul-food until a food-coma knocked you out until tomorrow. In the morning, you realized that Lance must’ve woken up in the middle of the night because you remember cuddling on the couch, and yet you’re waking up on the bed. Of course, still in his arms.

HUNK:

Having a sensible heart, I feel like both you and hunk would struggle a little about maintaining a healthy distance with current events.

Though overtime he would understand that keeping in touch with everything that’s going on is important, but not at the sake of burning out

His best bet, to him, to pull you out of a such a dark space is with comfort food

“Ok ppl feel like they want to eat a horse but they actually cant when they’re in that mind space Hunk, let’s make something sweet and small; something direct and straight to the point! Let’s add smiley faces on it!”

Your turned down the volume from the news, let your head fall backwards and brought up your forearm over your closed eyes. It felt warm and made it you realize that you had probably been staring very intensely at the screen as a wave of comfort hit your eyes the moment they were drowned in darkness. Letting out a deep breath, you stilled and let yourself bask in your thoughts until a familiar voice brought you back.

“Maybe a little bit more sugar? No, then it would be disbalanced. The base is already so sweet-- Ah, I have to take the cupcakes out or else they might get burned!”

You felt a smile grow on your lips, making you ignore the horrid news being broadcasted to turn to your partner that as usual, seemed to juggle ten thousand things to create a whole meal.

“What’s going on over here?” you asked, leaning over the counter to note that one of your favorite dishes was made and machines that were mostly used for baking had been brought out.

“Oh you know, just a little pick me up for my most favorite person ever.” he shrugged, but a smile soon came to his face. His hands were full but he leaned over, his lips meeting your cheek. “Things outside are a little dark, so I thought we could both use a little something nice.”

He turned on the machine after dropping a drop of dye to make it your favorite color and within a few minutes the icing was finished. Hunk scooped up a small amount on his finger and brought it to his lips and nod.

“Wanna taste?” he asked you, his finger dipping into the icing.

A mischievous grin spread on your features as you took his wrist and let his finger fall on your tongue, the sweetness quickly spreading through your mouth. The yellow paladin shivered as you let his digit hang in your mouth for longer than necessary, letting out a satisfied hum when you returned it to him.

“Tastes perfect.”

PIDGE:

She knew what could be fixed, she knew how to fix it but this meant she was also aware of how long such a transition would take

I think Pidge would be similar to Shiro: whatever she remembers that helps you be at ease, she would defect to that in hopes to maybe distract you for a while.

I don’t think Pidge is a very touchy person either, so if she reaches out to you _physically_ in worry, it’s a very clear sign she’s serious/anxious

I feel like she would reach out in other ways and then if she knew you were in a specific state of mind where touch was not useful, or if she just also wanted to try things out lol

As you watched the twisted information that was being shared on screen, another message caught your attention. Rather than a small red icon in the corner, a small window appeared in the middle of your computer screen.

<I found a way to modify notifications sent to another device.>

The video had stopped, every horrible gif about police brutality was paused and there was nothing else but the small window pidge had thrown onto your screen. You chuckled, and felt a pressure behind your working chair.

Another message popped up.

<You’ve been catching up with twitter for the past two hours. Surely you’re done now?>

A soft laugh came from you, making Pidge release a breath she didn’t know she was holding. You typed out an answer:

<Is it possible to be completely caught up with twitter? I follow like 500 accounts.>

<Okay, but half of them are just cat videos and the other half are just retweets of said videos.>

<Oh here I was thinking that this was an intervention to brighten my mood. We’re dragging each other’s follows now?>

<Oh please like you don’t want to be dragged, with that kind of follow list.>

<I can’t believe you’ve done this.>

You both laughed, before Pidge turned around and tapped your shoulder. She let her hand float in the air, yours coming to join it as a soon as your turned her way.

“Wanna take a nap?” she asked, letting her head fall onto your shoulder. “I had Chip make some hot chocolate, Hunk style.”

You squeezed her hand, putting your computer on sleep mode.

“Yeah, that sounds nice.”

[timelesslords]

Girl’s Night

Read on AO3

In which Annabeth has a little too much wine at Girl's Night and feels very guilty about it. Thankfully, Percy doesn't mind taking her home.

Annabeth Chase was very good at holding her alcohol.

In all honesty it was mostly because she didn’t drink that much to begin with. Being drunk had never been all that appealing to her— years of being on edge for the next fight made it difficult for her to intentionally dull her senses, and she never liked how foggy it made her brain either. Living in New Rome for the past few years hadn’t completely squashed those instincts, despite its top of the line anti-monster security.

But still. Annabeth could keep it together pretty well, when she chose to indulge. She’d gone to a few wild parties earlier in college, mostly at Piper’s behest, and she didn’t mind having a few glasses of wine every once in a while.

Girl’s Night was every once in a while. Every first Friday of the month, if you wanted to be exact about it. In all honesty the practice was probably a bit dumb and middle aged for a bunch of people (and, okay, ‘a bunch of people’ was generous- it was really only Piper, Annabeth and Hazel) in their early twenties, but Annabeth didn’t care. It was hard to keep up with people these days, and Annabeth appreciated the emphasis on female camaraderie and friendship.

Plus, Piper had really stellar taste in wine.

Tonight’s had been especially good, and after a long and stupidly stressful week at school (Annabeth wished she could emulate Percy’s senioritis, but unfortunately the Architecture program only got harder as it went on, not easier) Annabeth found herself a little extra appreciative of the relaxing effects of alcohol.

It seemed like all of them had had a tough week, because they were all buzzed pretty fast. Piper was even happy to deliver the latest Hollywood gossip, courtesy of her dad, and Hazel was telling them a story about a probie getting stuck in the unicorn stables that made Annabeth laugh so hard she was practically sobbing. Piper and Hazel were not much better; Piper had completely fallen off the couch from cracking up so hard, and Hazel could barely get a word in edgewise before she completely dissolved into giggles again.

It was then that Annabeth caught a glance of the two completely empty bottles of wine in front of them, and realized that all of them— though mostly she, specifically— had made a grave mistake. She had no idea how many times her own glass had been filled and then subsequently emptied, but it was enough that she was well past tipsy and solidly in drunk territory.

It was hard to care about the bad parts of being drunk when you were currently drunk, Annabeth was finding. Everything was just so much funnier.

Apparently Jason had also sensed that they were drunk, or maybe he just had heard the deranged cackling coming from the living room, and wanted to make sure they were all still alive.

“Are you guys alright?” he asked, sticking his head through the doorway.

“I’m fantastic. I mean, I don’t know about you two, but I am—” Piper paused, letting out a small hiccup, “Feeling awesome.”

“I feel great,” Hazel agreed, barely able to stop laughing long enough to let the words out.

Annabeth wasn’t sure she remembered how to form coherent words anymore, so she just gave a thumbs up.

“You guys are really drunk,” Jason said, voice an impressive mix of concern and amusement. He walked into the room, picking up one of the empty bottles of wine they’d left on the table and examining the label.

“That’s my man. Very smart,” Piper said, apparently completely seriously, leaning against Jason’s leg.

“Pipes, you realize this wine is like, 20%, right?” Jason asked, ignoring her declaration of his intelligence.

Piper frowned. The expression seemed very exaggerated, or maybe Annabeth’s head was just messing with her. It was very funny either way, and she had to stifle a laugh.

“Shut up Annabeth. Let me see that,” Piper said, holding her hand up for the bottle. Jason very wisely did not let Piper hold the bottle herself, instead holding it at eye level in front of her. She gripped the bottom of it, pulling it towards her and squinting at the label.

“Nevermind. I can’t read anymore,” Piper said, relinquishing her grip on the bottle. That sent Hazel and Annabeth into another fit of laughter. They would probably be drunk even if the wine wasn’t that strong, but it certainly explained why Annabeth felt like she was floating right now. She hadn’t been this wasted since at least freshman year, maybe ever. Everything was a little blurry at the edges, and she was dizzy in a kind of delightful way. She let out one last giggle.

“And that means we are officially at the me-calling-your-boyfriends time of the night,” Jason said, setting the bottle back down on the table. Piper groaned.

“Party pooper,” she grumbled, though she didn’t move herself off his legs.

“Sorry babe,” he said, apologetically, “You guys are welcome to crash here, obviously. I’ll just call Frank and Percy to let them know.”

“S’fine,” Hazel said, yawning and pulling out her phone, “I’ve been texting him. I’ll just tell him now.”

“That’s against the spirit of Girls Night.” Piper said, pointing an accusing finger at Hazel, “You’re a cheater.”

“I had to tell him about your dad’s friend secretly dating his co-star! She was in his favorite movie!” Hazel protested.

Annabeth had not texted Percy tonight, in part because, as Piper had said, it was against the spirit of Girl’s Night, but also because he was probably asleep. Usually he’d stay up and wait for her to get home, even though New Rome was probably the safest city on the face of the planet, and the chances of anything happening to Annabeth on the six block walk between their respective apartments was ludicrously slim. But he’d been practically dead on his feet when she left, and had agreed pretty easily to turn in early when she suggested it.

She immediately felt bad about the prospect of waking him up. She knew she should though— he’d much rather be woken up in the middle of the night than wake up in the morning with her not there. Even though it would take about three seconds to check his phone and realize everything was fine, old habits die hard and it would unnecessarily stress him out. Especially since it was the one night he’d agreed not to stay up and wait for her.

So waking him up was inevitable. Worse, she was starting to realize that she really wanted to be home with him. As comfortable as Piper’s floor was (and given how drunk Annabeth was, it was genuinely pretty comfortable) she just really wanted to be in her own bed, preferably with Percy also in it.

“Annabeth’s gonna want to go home,” Piper predicted, drawing Annabeth out of her thoughts, “She gets boyfriend clingy when she’s drunk.”

“I do not,” Annabeth said, even though she most definitely did.

“You’re a bad liar,” Hazel said, patting Annabeth’s leg sympathetically.

“I’m an excellent liar,” Annabeth said. Under normal circumstances this would be true. Unfortunately being drunk was not normal for her.

“Uh huh.” Piper said, “Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t want Percy to come pick you up.”

Annabeth looked into Piper’s eyes, currently a very pretty green shade. Not as pretty as the shade of green Percy’s eyes were, but nice, for eyes that were not Percy’s. What was she supposed to be doing again?

“This feels like a trick,” Annabeth said, squinting.

“She wants Percy to pick her up,” Piper said, tugging at Jason’s pant leg.

“Yeah, I got that,” Jason said. Annabeth was pretty sure he was laughing at them, but in her current state it was a little hard to tell. “Let me go get my phone.”

Piper whined as Jason walked away, leaning back against the couch.

“Can you even walk, Chase?” she asked, looking dubiously at Annabeth “He’s going to have to carry you home.”

“I can walk,” Annabeth said, very offended even though she didn’t entirely know if her statement was true. Piper snorted.

“You’re lucky Percy is strong.”

“This is all your fault, McLean. Don’t think I’ve forgotten,” Annabeth said, aiming a soft kick at Piper’s leg.

“Okay, in my defense I didn’t read the label,” Piper said, pulling her leg back just in time to avoid Annabeth’s foot.

“How is that a defense?” Hazel asked, though she was giggling.

Piper did not have time to further defend and/or implicate herself, because Jason appeared in the doorway again.

“Percy’s coming, he’ll be here in ten.”

“Was he mad?” Annabeth asked anxiously. Piper rolled her eyes.

“I don’t think Percy is physically capable of being mad at you,” she said.

“He thought it was funny, actually,” Jason said, ignoring Piper.

“Told you so,” Piper said smugly.

“Shut up,” Annabeth grumbled.

The next ten minutes passed in a very drunken blur. Now that she had fully realized she was intoxicated, the feeling only seemed to compound, each uncounted drink catching up to her with a reckless abandon. She was vaguely aware of Piper crawling back on the couch to lie down, and Hazel curling up in an armchair. Annabeth just stayed on her little patch of floor. If she got too comfortable, she wasn’t going to want to get up.

She could feel something anxious starting to prickle under the surface of all her artificially happy feelings, but it was sort of difficult to dissect when she couldn’t really think straight.

“Hey, Wise Girl,” a familiar voice said.

Annabeth looked up to see Percy smiling down at her. He looked so pretty she almost started crying. Almost. Crying as a normal human function was fine and good and emotionally necessary and all that, but crying because you were drunk and your boyfriend was hot was just embarrassing.

“I’m drunk,” she told him. Might as well get right to the point.

“Yeah, I gathered,” he said, still looking at her with entirely too much affection, “You feel okay enough to walk home?”

“Yeah. I wanna walk,” Annabeth said, accepting his hand and pulling herself to his feet. If he hadn’t been holding her she probably would have fallen over.

“You sure about that?” he asked skeptically, putting his other hand around her waist, steadying her. She leaned into him, because she always leaned into him, and yeah, okay, maybe she needed his support to walk straight, but what about it.

“Very sure,” Annabeth said. Already she was adjusting to being on her feet. Percy half looked like he wanted to protest, but making it out of the living room seemed to convince him that she was okay to at least make it a few blocks home.

Sitting down on the bench in the front hall to put her shoes on was somehow worse than walking. She managed to shove her shoes into her sneakers, but getting them tied was probably not going to happen.

“I can’t remember how shoelaces work,” Annabeth admitted, looking up at him, “Does that mean I’m screwed?”

“Well, there’s good news and there’s bad news,” Percy said, leaning down to tie her shoe for her. Annabeth shut her eyes tight, then opened them again, trying very hard to focus out her vision. It didn’t work.

“What’s the bad news?” Annabeth asked, because bad news tended to ruin good news, and she’d rather just get it out of the way.

“You’re going to be very hungover tomorrow.” Percy said, straightening up. She thought he was smiling, but considering there were two of his head floating around in front of her, it was kind of hard to tell.

“Are you laughing at me?” Annabeth asked. He was definitely smiling now.

“I would never,” Percy said, wrapping an arm around her waist, “C’mon, lets go.”

Their goodbye was not as extended or elaborate as Annabeth expected, mostly because Piper and Hazel were already half-way to being passed out. Still, there were some waves, some I-love-yous and a partially incoherent apology from Piper, though who it was aimed at was something of a mystery.

Stairs were just a bit tricky, but she managed to stumble down them without seriously injuring herself. She was sure Percy helped somehow, but she could barely tell the difference between his arms supporting her and her own movement.

“What’s the good news?” Annabeth asked, once they were safely on the sidewalk, heading in the direction of her apartment. It was probably cold, but between Percy’s body heat next to her and her own drunkenness, she could barely feel it.

“You haven’t thrown up?” Percy offered, half-heartedly. Annabeth swallowed down a gag.

“Don’t say those words again,” she warned. Percy winced.

“Right. Sorry.”

“That wasn’t even good news, that was irrelevant news,”

“I think it’s excellent news, personally.” Percy said. He was laughing at her again, probably, but she also probably deserved it. Probably. She was wrapped under his shoulder because his arm was still helping hold her up, so it was kind of hard to see his face. She focused her eyes down at the sidewalk in front of her instead, focusing on not tripping.

“You would,” Annabeth said, “You didn’t have good news, did you?”

“I was sort of hoping you would forget,” Percy admitted.

“I never forget,” Annabeth reminded him. She had an excellent memory. Especially for things that had happened only 2 minutes ago. Admittedly the rest of the night was already starting to get a little blurry.

“I’m sorry for doubting you,” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

Annabeth felt a small stab of guilt. He was teasing her, sure, but he was also being stupid nice even after she’d dragged him out of bed in the middle of the night to practically carry her intoxicated self back home.

And now she was remembering where that little wiggle of anxiety had been stemming from. He didn’t like being around drunk people. He never really said anything, because he was him and thus was probably allergic to the mere thought of even mildly killing anyone else’s fun for his own personal comfort or convenience. But she knew him well enough that he didn’t need to say anything. He’d never taken up Piper’s offer to go partying with them, even though he encouraged Annabeth to go when she’d wanted to, and he hardly ever drank himself. Even then it was only in social situations, and usually just one drink that he probably didn’t even feel.

So maybe he hadn’t flat out said he didn’t like people being wasted around him, but he had told her about Gabe; how he was a drunk, abusive asshole. It wasn’t too hard to put the pieces together.

“I’m sorry I got drunk,” Annabeth said. It was kind of a lame apology considering she was probably slurring her words a good amount, but she meant it anyways.

She felt something shift in his demeanor— if she was sober, she would know instantly what the slight change in pressure meant. As it was, she was kind of in the dark.

“Why are you sorry?” he asked. She thought he sounded surprised, but maybe she was mishearing, because it would be dumb for him to be surprised by that. At the very least, he should understand she felt bad about ruining his night.

“Because, I got messy and you had to wake up and take me home even though I could have just slept on Piper’s floor,” Annabeth said. Words were sort of flowing out of her without her completely approving them, in a jumbled rush. She didn’t like it, but she couldn’t quite remember how to stop it either.

“I don’t mind,” he said, just as she’d known he would. He meant it too, even drunk off her ass she could tell he wasn’t annoyed at her at all, even though he would be totally justified to be.

“But I could have just slept on the floor,” Annabeth repeated, though even the thought caused her to lean deeper into him.

Percy slowed his pace, almost stopping. Annabeth tried looking up at him to decipher what he was thinking, but she couldn’t really make out his face well enough to tell.

“This isn’t just about waking me up, isn’t it?” he asked.

Ugh. Why did she forget in her drunken stupor that he knew her just as well as she knew him? Obviously he was going to pick up on something deeper that was making her feel guilty.

“I just—” Annabeth started, then stopped. It was difficult to pick words precisely enough for the thoughts she was having.

“I know you don’t really like parties and stuff. Or drunk people. And I’m a drunk people right now, so I’m sorry.”

Great job, Annabeth, Annabeth thought to herself. Very delicately put. The lack of subject verb agreement, that was a nice touch. You didn’t sound completely fucked up even a little bit.

God, she hated being drunk.

“I didn’t want you to wake up alone, tomorrow,” Annabeth said, trying again, “But I forgot that me being drunk might be worse, so that's why I feel bad.”

Percy stopped walking. At first Annabeth thought it was in response to what she’d just said, but then she realized they were in front of their apartment building.

Then she realized he wasn’t making any moves to go inside, so it was about what she’d said after all. Instead he turned her around so she could see his face, keeping his arms around her waist in support.

She couldn’t quite read his expression, yet another reason why alcohol was the devil.

“I have a feeling we’re going to need to repeat this conversation in the morning when you’re sober,” he started, “But just for the record, you being drunk doesn’t make me uncomfortable at all.”

Annabeth studied his expression, searching his face for any signs of mistruth. She found none, but she also couldn’t entirely trust her senses at the moment.

“Are you just saying that?” Annabeth asked, suspiciously, “Because that’s the sort of thing you would lie about.”

She had sort of expected him to sigh in annoyance, but to her surprise he smiled instead.

“I’m not lying, I swear.”

“But you don’t like other drunk people,” Annabeth insisted. For some reason the two ideas could not coexist in her mind.

“I don’t like drunk strangers,” he corrected, “You’re not a stranger.”

“Well, duh,” Annabeth said, which made him laugh. She hadn’t meant to, but she liked hearing him laugh, so she would accept it anyways.

“But doesn’t it— I don’t know, bring up bad memories, for you?” she asked, cautiously, “I don’t wanna do that. I don’t even really like being drunk.”

He just shook his head.

“If it did, I would tell you. But it doesn’t, I swear.”

Annabeth frowned. It was probably just her stupid wine brain, but she couldn’t quite connect the dots between all the points he was making.

“Why?” she asked.

“Because,” he said, somehow still smiling, “You’re you.”

“That’s a lame answer.” Annabeth said.

“It’s true,” he said, in that stupid earnest honest voice of his, “I mean, maybe if you started throwing beer cans at my head when you got tipsy it’d be different, but you’re the opposite of aggressive when you’re drunk. You actually get really cuddly, it's kind of cute.”

Annabeth knew he was trying to comfort her, but she also knew that Gabe had done a lot worse than throw beer cans at him. She felt a surge of anger on his behalf, but more powerfully a wave of sadness looking at his upbeat expression. It was so supremely unfair that she wanted to cry, but she just hugged him instead. She was probably proving his point about being cuddly, but she didn’t even care.

“I’m so glad your mom made him into a statue,” she mumbled into his chest.

“Me too,” Percy said, resting his chin on the top of her head.

“I love you so much,” Annabeth said, because she really, really did. Like so much. An embarrassing amount, if she were capable of feeling embarrassed about anything having to do with Percy Jackson, which she was pretty sure was impossible.

“I love you too,” he said, kissing the top of her head to prove it.

“Piper said I get boyfriend clingy when I’m drunk,” Annabeth admitted. He laughed, his chest vibrating beneath her.

“She might be right about that.”

“She’s usually right about things,” Annabeth said, without thinking. Then—

“Don’t tell her I said that.”

He laughed again, but it was quieter. She felt it more than she heard it this time.

“Your secret is safe with me,” he promised.

“I’m sorry I woke you up,” Annabeth said, because she really did feel bad about that, even beyond all the other stuff, “I should have paid more attention to what I was doing.”

She felt him shrug underneath her.

“Stuff happens, it's not a big deal,” Percy said easily, “We’ll just sleep in tomorrow. Speaking of, we should probably go inside.”

As soon as he said ‘go inside’ Annabeth’s brain suddenly registered that she was exhausted. It was late, her head was swimming, and his chest had been very warm and very comfortable. She’d fallen half asleep without even realizing it.

“Inside sounds good,” Annabeth agreed, yawning.

“C’mon, I’ll carry you the rest of the way,” Percy said, finally pulling away, brushing a few stray curls out of her eyes.

Maybe if she had been sober she would have protested. As it was she was pretty happy to climb on his back and rest her head on his shoulder. He looped his arms under her legs and lifted her up easily. Gods, he was stupidly strong. She should appreciate that more.

“I love you,” she mumbled one last time into his shoulder. Whether he’d heard or responded was a mystery to her, because she was asleep before he finished climbing the stairs.

[bkdotblog]

High Stakes and Friendship Breaks, S3 E11

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Season 3 Episode 11 Recap

My Title: "The Heather Black Eye Reveal Episode"

My rating: 5 out of 7 budget Marilyns

Support for Lisa Barlow: Very strong

<><><>

How in Goddess' name are we only on Day 2 of San Diego?

Meredith is making eggs. Good Angie, Whitney, and Lisa lounge by or in the pool, talking about how Jen's behavior was unacceptable and also Heather is being a bitch for no reason. It's nice to know that the schisms formed in the last episode have survived the weeklong programming break and remained intact. Will Jen or Heather answer for their crimes?

Lisa leaves to go eat a single Kit Kat. Best Frenemies Forever Good Angie and Jen convene in the master bedroom. They are unintentionally matching, as is their tendency.

Meanwhile Heather is talking to Lisa in the kitchen. Heather points out that Jen has a toxic relationship with nearly every member of the cast, and a short montage plays to confirm that Jen has cussed each one out on camera. (Except Whitney!) Then Heather breaks down a bit and acknowledges how fractured her relationship with Jen has become.

Speaking to God or Jen Shah, Heather asks for "a little bit of grace," as she has done in nearly every episode of this season.

(Heather also acknowledges that she and Lisa usually bear the brunt of Jen's rage. Hopefully that means she will begin to treat Lisa with respect in mixed company, but I doubt it!)

Let's go to the beach! each!

The sprinter van proceeds to the destination without incident.

It seems somebody (Jen using Angie's credit card?) booked a service that sets up chairs, organizes a picnic, and is staffed by two indentured musical theatre majors for their day a la plage. It looks fun!

The ladies separate into two teams to play games and it almost goes well. When time is called on the sandcastle building contest, Yellow Team Captain Whitney runs over to Team Blue (Heather, Jen, Angie) and demolishes their build. This prompts Jen to bowl into Whitney during the sack race. Bubble soccer is basically sumo wrestling mediated by enormous plastic armor — Danna body slams Jen and Heather to the ground. Team Yellow Wins, and Team Blue has a hissy fit. But there is no verbal argument to follow, probably because the ladies left it all in the ring.

Some of the women go surfing while Jen, Heather, and Lisa sojourn to the boardwalk for lite bites and confrontation.

Jen apologizes for her yacht behavior in abstract. (In specific: She yelled at Lisa, pushed her, threw a crudité platter into the sea and called it a charcuterie board, and then fell asleep.) The night before she did not even recall any of it, and I'd wager that she still doesn't, but wants to move on.

(The other insane thing Jen did last episode — defenestrating Angie's $1,500 shoes like they were a charcuterie board — appears to be forgiven and forgotten.)

Hedda's turn! Jen is mad that Heather is still friends with Bad Angie; Heather is mad that Jen was talking shit about her in Whitney's enormous hot tub.

(I didn't understand the scale of Whitney's hot tub until this episode. It's a small heated pool!)

Jen denies talking shit in the hot tub. (She was talking shit in the hot tub!)

Heather tries to describe how it feels to be Jen's friend: "The sun doesn't shine on the same dog's ass every day."

Jen says: "You flip-flop so much, you should be wearing flip-flops!" Sick burn, nana!

The tension is building like the Empire State. As it always is, when you're dealing with Jen! Heather is describing to Jen how she tends to escalate the situation, using three solid examples from the previous 36 hours. Heather also notes to us, the viewers, in her confessional that she can see Jen running out of viable beef, signaling either her departure from the conversation or her upping the ante 1000 degrees.

Can you guess which way she went?

You're absolutely right—great guess! In the raspy, furious baritone to which we have unfortunately become attuned, Jen scream-admits that she attempted suicide after finding out about the @shahexposed finstagram. And then she departs the conversation, taking her drink to a table in the back.

[BK's Take: I do not find Jen Shah to be trustworthy in any domain. However, we have no good reason not to believe her when she tells Heather and Lisa that she "almost committed suicide, tried to", that she locked herself in the bathroom, that Coach Shah had to break down the door, and that she spent two days in the hospital following the episode. It was a very shocking moment for all present and me, not least because it was Jen's response to Heather asking, once again, if she can't be friends with Angie H. I am very sorry to Jen and her family.]

[For many reasons!]

Jen's admission causes Heather and Lisa to drop their arguments and rally to her side, tending to her in the manner of a wounded bird. But not before Heather and Lisa privately confer: Yes, Jen is psychotic, but let's just shower her with love when she's in the room.

Jen and her emotional support Mormons board the sprinter van bound for Chez Angie, while the surfing women (remember them?) do the same. Tonight's the Marilyn Monroe party, ladies — and Whitney brought the Amazon wigs!

Am I a philistine, or is this a crudité board (no meats or cheeses)? Please let me know in the comments.

The ladies Monroe sit down [BK's Take: Danna is most Marilyn, Heather is best look, Lisa is soooo mother and I love her, Jen brought the only wig that cost more than $28.99 but it's so wrong and looks out of place] and are convivial for about eight seconds. Meredith asks Heather, Jen, and Lisa about their lunch, which prompts silence. It seems at first like they will speak only in abstract and quickly moves on, but Whitney makes the fatal error of asking a follow-up question.

Jen snaps. "Since you wanna go digging," "Since you're so inquisitive," YEAH, I tried to SUICIDE over ANGIE HARRINGTON'S HUSBAND'S FINSTAGRAM.

Whitney is in more than the hot seat -- she is practically splayed out across the crudite platter, and about to be served raw to Jen Shah! (What did we think of that joke? Again, let me know in the comments. And thank you to my readers—both of you!)

What happens next is very sad, but also very satisfying. Maybe a little bit like eating too much ice cream. Slowly, one by one, the women take Whitney to task for her role in spreading baseless rumors and occasionally true but inflammatory knowledge. Example of the former: Talking about Lisa giving sex favors for free Utah Jazz tickets. Example of the latter: parroting back to Heather what Jen said in her seasize hot tub.

Even Meredith, who has been jingling decoratively all episode, opens her mouth against the Wild Rose! (Whit implicated Meredith in spreading the Jizz for Jazz rumors.) Whitney keeps propping up new defenses for each angry housewife, but none of them hold up. She would be better off annihilating them all in one caustic confession, Shah-style!

I do have to hand it to her when she tells Meredith that she's sorry if she betrayed her trust, but Meredith DID talk that shit about Lisa. And Whitney remembers that day perfectly because Meredith was so boring: Whitney made them do dishes because just talking was so awkward.

As if making anything remotely close a point, Whitney explains that she KNEW Meredith wanted to talk shit when she walked in the door, and that's why they had to do the dishes...?

Whitney literally says: "I'm a vibes girl."

Lisa interjects to say that we've all made mistakes, but then Whitney doubles down on "accountability." So then Heather takes the opportunity to say to Jen, can you be accountable for what you said about me in the huge enormous hot tub? And Jen masterfully says, Yes I can. It all started with Whitney saying she's taking a friend break from you...

This is news to Heather.

It's just like Don Draper said: If you don't like what they're saying, change the conversation!

From here on out Heather and Whitney engage in a verbal bout that goes nowhere but in the same circles. Whitney's fillings are hurt and she is processing trauma and Heather won't listen to her or treat her with grace. Heather, to Whitney's point, won't. She cannot even let Whitney land two complete sentences without interrupting her. Watching it is exasperating.

Heather keeps bringing Lisa into it, too. Why??

The conversation goes nowhere and then it's time to go somewhere else. Did anybody eat anything? Whatever. Jen Shah is like, let's go to a gay bar!

Tons of fun. Heather is hot on the mic being like "Fuck Whitney" !

The ladies return to the Airbnb with pizzas in hand. It's 2 AM — Jen and Heather are topless and running around. Lisa goes to bed, as does Whitney, both in good spirits. Jen, Heather, and ... Meredith? are laughing in various states of undress.

3 AM slumber party!

Wait holy shit. I had thought Bravo was adding time stamps to demonstrate just how loose the ladies were letting, but after 3:00, we start getting more minute updates -- who is going to bed at 3:12, who is walking down the corridor at 3:23 -- and then I realize that we are on the precipice of a moment I have waited for since the trailer for the season dropped:

Heather's Black Eye!!!!!!!!!!!!

At some point the cameras switch to the house's (extensive?) surveillance system. We see everybody go to bed, last (?) of all Heather, at 3:24, entering the casita where she is staying. Then, at 4:50, we see the door handle jiggle, and hear a knock, and see a Heather going to answer it. Who was on the other side?

Seven hours later Meredith is summoned to Heather's room. She takes off her sunglasses dramatically to reveal:

When I saw the Eye in the season trailer months ago, I thought it was some cosmetic reaction that was going to be played for laughs. But the fact that the show is telling the story like a full murder mystery has caught me by surprised, and now I'm hooked. Did somebody beat Heather up at 4:50 AM? Was it Lisa Barlow, or do we have a way we can blame Lisa Barlow for it?

That's why it's called BRAVO, folks. I'm clapping! Can't wait to tune in next week. Thanks for reading! -BK

Regarding some of the content of this post: If you are struggling, you can always call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.

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Gay Imagery:

This was Jen! I thought this was Heather when I screen grabbed. Anyway, it's Gay Imagery!

Maybe too good time of a girl, if you ask me!