#mymhjourney

[danika-alice]

How amazing is this drawing of me by @alex.teenager.artist Im in absolute awe of how confident and strong I look in this photo! Having people who support this page and what I do means the absolute world to me and I’ve gotten to meet so many amazing interesting people! Thank you so much @alex.teenager.artist @theobadiu for this, i love it! ❤️🧡 #mymhjourney #community #supportnetwork #mentalhealthmatters #mentalillness #chronicillness #artistsoninstagram #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #cptsd #deppression #friends #girlssupportinggirls #empoweredwomenempowerwomen (at Scarborough, North Yorkshire)

[jennhope12-blog]

This is the work, the challenge. Review the pain the cause and the feelings. Release the anger the hurt , anything you’ve been holding onto. Recover , learn to live a better life get the tools you need and now know your going forward lighter than ever and your able to fly!! Yup, that’s the goal..... it’s just a bitch to get there, we are our worst enemies sometimes. I just need to get out of my own way!! #bpdmom #borderlinepersonalitydisorderrecovery #recovery #prorecovery #releaseall #learning #workingonmyself #mentalillnesswarrior #mentallyill #mystory #stigmafighter #invisibleillness #yournotalone #hardworkahead #depression #mymhjourney #mhjourney #advocate #yournotalone #sicknotweak #boldlybpd #tryingtogetbetter

[danika-alice]

The urge to isolate myself is so real at the moment. The urge to shut myself off from everyone, the urge to distance myself and stop contacting people is so present right now. I don’t know why but every year over the Christmas and new year period I feel the urge to hide myself and go off radar for a while. Maybe it’s because I’m so scared of feeling lonely, that it’s easier to block everyone out, it’s easier to pretend I don’t care. I wish we could just skip the festive period and just be like oh okay cool it’s a new year and just carry on and get on with life without big interruptions like New Years celebrations, I know I sound miserable, maybe I am. I wish I could feel positive about New Years celebrations but I always tend to just feel as though it’s a massive anti climax. Maybe it’s because I’ve never really had a chance to celebrate New Years? Anyone else ever feel like this big mixed up bag of emotions at Christmas/New Years? Or is it just me? I want to be able to celebrate my achievements of the year, I feel like I’m having this huge argument with myself because I know I’ve achieved loads and made a lot of progress but my brain is like LOL NO YOU SUCK. Bpd is rly fun 👌🏻 #newyearseve #lonely #lonelygirl #lonelynewyear #fucknewyears #imtired #bpd #angry #fedup #mixedemotions #emotionalcocktail #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonality #bpdproblems #bpdthings #bpdawareness #bpdlife #bpdsucks #mentalhealth #exhausted #chronicpain #chronicfatigue #alwaystired #alliwantforchristmasisgoodmentalhealth #mentalillness #abandonmentissues #abandonment #blackandwhitethinking #splitting #dissociation #depersonalization #idealization #idealise #ideation #borderlineandsurviving #mymhjourney

[danika-alice]

TOO TIRED. I’m currently recovering from a depressive/suicidal episode, I’ve spent most of my time resting either in bed or on the sofa. The tiredness I feel at the moment is so intense, I don’t feel like I have anything to give. My other half has spent the past few days doing housework and cooking for me because standing up for any length of time has just felt too much. These photos are from the day after my mum rushed to come and get me to prevent me from acting on my thoughts and urges, some of you may question how I had the energy to put on make up. My mum has done her make up as part of her morning routine for as long as I can remember so she invited me to come sit with her so we could do our make up together the morning we were getting ready to bring me home. I’m 25 but the child in me needed that. It was a way of connecting and we all need that. I haven’t been able to do it since that morning but I’m taking each day one step at a time, I hope this empty tiredness will leave me soon. Someone bring me the sun and remind me that it will be back soon, these dark days are hard to handle, i feel no spring in my step, I feel nothing but tired. I’m living, but I don’t quite feel alive. Hat from @bloodynorapam ❤️ #tootired #exhaustion #fatigue #mentalhealth #suicidalepisode #depressiveepisode #bpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #complexptsd #depression #thefaceofdepression #depressionhasnoface #iam1in4 #recovery #therapy #mentalhealthwarrior #mentalhealthadvocate #bpdrecovery #bpdawareness #borderlineandsurviving #mymhjourney

[danika-alice]

Thank you. Every single one of you that came to my support last night! Last night I was at high risk of attempting suicide, I was scared and alone and in so much pain, yet you all rushed to my aid. I’m struggling to feel proud of myself for reaching out, I mostly feel guilty about the fact I worried a lot of people. Without all your support last night I wouldn’t have been able to pick up the phone and tell someone I was suicidal, I wouldn’t have been able to have gotten myself into a safer situation and I cannot thank you all enough. ❤️ I love you all, I love every single person on this Instagram account, I love my friends and family, I love my cat. I’m grateful for the support I have from all of the people in my life ❤️ thank you. #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #complexptsd #depression #depressiveepisode #suicidal #suicidalideation #intrusivethoughts #mentalillness #mymhjourney #mentalhealthdisorder #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthsupport #bpd #surviving

[danika-alice]

I cry because my soul hurts, my heart hurts, my body hurts, I cry because sometimes everything is just too much, I cry because I am overwhelmed. We've been conditioned to think crying makes us weak, we've been taught we mustn't cry in public because we will embarrass ourselves, we've been told to turn the water works off, we've been told to stop crying. How is it that as a society it's frowned upon to show emotions? How did we get here, to this point where bottling everything up and not being open and not talking actually gains more respect from others? I cry because I am human. The stigma around emotions and showing them has to stop, it's damaging and dangerous! It's okay to cry, it's okay not to be okay. We all have the right to be emotional, we all have the right to cry. I will not hide. #mentalhealthadvocate #mentalhealth #fuckthestigmaofmentalillness #anxiety #bpd #bpdsupport #bpdawareness #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #cptsd #complextrauma #depression #endthestigma #honest #vulnerable #crying #open #tears #notashamed #iamvalid #iamworthy #ideserveselflove #keepgoing #loveyourself #mymhjourney #mentalhealthisreal #mentalhealthawareness #society #selflove #soworthy #smashthestigma #wegotthis

[danika-alice]

YOUR EMOTIONS ARE VALID YOU ARE WORTHY YOU ARE LOVED YOUR FEELINGS MATTER 💖💜 #valid #worthy #soworthy #mymhjourney #loveyourself #keepgoing #anxiety #bpd #cptsd #depression #endthestigma #iamvalid #iamworthy #loveyourself #mentalhealth #smashthestigma

[danika-alice]

Daily reminder to take your medication💜 Taking medication for your mental health illness does not make you weak, it does not make you a failure. I fail to understand how medication for mental illness is any different to medication taken for a heart condition, both medications are as valid as one another. There is so much stigma surrounding medication for mental health, we're constantly shamed for having mental illness yet when we try and do something about it such as take medications we're shamed for that too. Can you see how people with mental illness might feel like they're fighting a losing battle? I've been shamed for my mental health, I've been shamed for taking medication, I've been shamed for being in therapy. Thankfully I'm someone who has managed to survive the shame society puts on us but not everyone can survive the battle we face with stigma constantly being thrown at us. Please always consider what you say to others, we need society to be more accepting and less stigmatising of mental health! Mental illness is real, mental illness is valid, mental illness does not make us any less worthy of help and support! 💙 #mentalillness #mentalhealthmatters #medication #medicationstigma #mentalhealthadvocate #mentalhealthsupport #honest #anxiety #bpd #depression #cptsd #society #acceptingmentalhealth #mymhjourney #vulnerable #smashthestigma #endthestigma #wegotthis #mentalhealthstigma #mentalhealthwarrior #mentalhealthrecovery #mentalhealthisreal

[danika-alice]

I am currently on the biggest journey of my life, I'm learning to discover myself, to love myself, to be kind to myself. Self love isn't selfish In fact self love is such a big part of learning to manage my mental health, I'm currently in therapy and have been for nearly a year now and within therapy I'm learning that actually I am good, I am lovable, I am worthy and learning self love is helping me realise that when i am having a bad day and I'm struggling with emotional regulation that it's okay, it's okay if I just can't, it's okay if I need to take some time for myself to look after myself. I am important I am worthy regardless of my illness' I am loved I am beautiful inside and out Being mentally ill does not inherently mean I am a bad person and I hope that you know that neither are you, you also deserve to be on a journey of self love! We all deserve to be loved regardless of health! I used to hate myself, I used to be so disgusted with everything about me and now I can safely say y'know what I'm actually pretty fucking great! Never let anyone tell you that you don't deserve to love yourself, we all have that right! 💖❤️ #selflove #selfcare #poem #smashthestigma #mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealth #bpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #bpdawareness #cptsd #anxiety #depression #endthestigma #honest #iamvalid #iamworthy #ideserveselflove #keepgoing #loveyourself #mymhjourney #mentalillness #mentalhealthisreal #mentalhealthadvocate #radicalselflove #soworthy #vulnerable

[danika-alice]

Vegan Christmas dinner for me 🙊💜 My belly has been full of food and laughter today. I hope you have all managed to find some joy in the day and if you haven’t I promise it’s okay, it’s okay if you haven’t enjoyed today. 💜 It’s okay if you have enjoyed part of the day and found other parts difficult, mental illness doesn’t take a holiday and I think we are badass for just being here! Also, another reminder, it doesn’t matter how much you ate today, you still deserve to eat tomorrow 💕 #christmas #veganchristmas #vegan #crueltyfreechristmas #vgang #earthlinged #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #itsokaytoeat #eatwhatyoucan #loveyourself #loveyourbody #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #bpd #disorderedeating #food #warrior #mentalillness #mentalhealthadvocate #mymhjourney #borderlineandsurviving

[danika-alice]

Today I’m celebrating Christmas with my other half. Im cooking a Christmas dinner and it is the first time I have cooked properly in months. Recently I have lived off stuff I could just pop in the oven because either my mental or physical health has just been too much. I’m excited to eat a home cooked meal, but I’ve definitely had to prepare for this. I’ve had to rest quite a bit before doing this and I will have to rest after (google pacing technique for more info) I don’t have as much energy as I would like, but I’ve got some and I’m going to do the best I can with help of course 💜 I miss cooking, it’s something I have always enjoyed, Im working it into my self care plan and hoping to be able to cook more regularly soon. I will always and keep figuring out ways I can keep doing things I enjoy whilst battling with mental illness and chronic pain and fatigue, I want to enjoy things in my life. I know some days are rest days and I know they are much needed, I know I need to look after myself to enable myself to carry on. 2017 has been a decent year, but I’m going to make 2018 my bitch. I’m good to keep on surviving, I’m going to keep on fighting. We are all worthy as fuck! No matter where we are at in our lives, we all deserve to be here and take up space. Learning self love and self acceptance is one of the best journeys I decided to be on. It is incredible to no longer hate myself. Keep doing what you need to do to survive 💜💪🏻 #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #mentalhealthawareness #bpd #depression #anxiety #chronicillness #chronicpain #fatigue #chronicfatigue #keepgoing💪 #keepfighting #borderlineandsurviving #mymhjourney #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealthisimportant #selflove #iamworthy #bopo #learningtoloveme #learningtolove #learningtolovemybody #wegotthis #christmas #christmaswithmentalillness #bpdawareness #cptsd #cptsdawareness

[danika-alice]

Today has been a day. I have had better days, I have had worse days. I had therapy yesterday and it was a hard session and it has bought up a lot of emotions and feelings and flashbacks. Today is a day. A day that has gone slower than slow, a day that has kicked my ass. I’m struggling. I’m not okay right now. Every fibre of my being aches. Tomorrow is also a day, a day I may or not feel the same as I have today, but as long as I get to see tomorrow that’s okay. As long as I keep fighting, as long as I keep surviving I know deep down in my gut that I can make it. I can make it to a time in my life where this trauma no longer grips me. Wether that be next year or five years from now, I promise myself I will get there. You got this Danika. 💜 #trauma #complextrauma #cptsd #ptsd #cptsdrecovery #cptsdsurvivor #cptsdwarrior #ptsd #posttraumaticstressdisorder #bpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #personalitydisorder #bpdproblems #borderlineandsurviving #mymhjourney #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthadvocate #mentalhealthwarrior #mentalhealthrecovery #mentalhealthstigma #endthestigma #endthestigmaofmentalhealth #weareworthy #wearevaluable #mentalillness #fatigue #depression #anxiety

[danika-alice]

Complex ptsd is hard to live with, i find myself feeling things that do not relate to the current situation I am in. I have flashbacks but not in the common sense, they’re not always visual. I could be sat watching tv or washing the pots and bang all of a sudden I will feel a multitude of emotions I’m familiar with, my body remember them. I lock up, I’m so tense I can barely move. My heart and stomach are in knots and I can’t even tell you how much heartbreak I feel. I feel myself crumbling as I have done so many times before, I feel like a child with no protection, my entire being aches and I can’t even fathom why. I’m washing the pots, maybe watching tv and this is how I feel. When this happens I can’t make sense of much at all, I feel trapped by the emotions I am feeling, like I will never be able to feel anything else ever again. Complex trauma makes me vulnerable, it makes me feel small and weak. It’s exhausting to battle every day through emotions that make no sense to the life you’re living right now. I’m privileged to be in therapy, thankfully I’m learning why these things happen to me. I’m getting to learn about why I am a certain way, why i am so particular about where I sit in a room. I’ve had to create safe spaces for myself in my life to be able to survive. And that is okay, it’s all learnt behaviours that I have developed from early on to keep myself safe and that’s what has kept me going, so I am more than okay with that! Keep going, keep surviving and you will thrive! We are all amazing incredible human beings. #cptsd #complexptsd #ptsd #complextrauma #complextraumaawareness #cptsdwarrior #cptsdsurvivor #ptsdawareness #ptsdrecovery #trauma #traumatherapy #therapyforptsd #complexptsd #bpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderlineandsurviving #mymhjourney #keepgoing #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthadvocate #mentalhealthwarrior #mentalhealthsupport

[danika-alice]

I got out of bed I got dressed I ate something I took my meds I brushed my teeth I scraped my hair back Im going to attempt to do some hoovering. Those are all things that are draining me physically and mentally, I’m not sure how to exist right now. I feel such a strong urge to hide and isolate myself from everyone. I’m having such horrible thoughts and feelings, i feel like no one truly cares, I feel incredibly alone. My bpd is so real right now and I don’t know how to navigate myself through it. I want to shut off from everything and everyone. Thankfully I have therapy this evening! Without therapy I don’t know how I would manage and I am lucky to be in therapy long term. Living with bpd and complex ptsd is exhausting, it is painful, it is a challenge that I face every day but it is a challenge I want to win. I may be struggling right now but I’m not giving up on myself, I’ve bought myself too far to let go off all the progress I have made! Being on this journey has taught me I am worthy of living, I am valuable and I deserve this life even when I don’t feel like I do. So yes today is a bad day, I’m feeling pretty worthless right now and I can feel that intense pang in my stomach where I cannot make sense of what I am feeling but I promise myself and you that I will keep on surviving because let’s face it, we are warriors aren’t we? We are the strongest of people! Im incredibly blessed to be part of this community. #borderlineandsurviving #mymhjourney #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderline #borderlinepersonality #borderlinerecovery #bpd #complexptsd #cptsd #cptsdsurvivor #cptsdrecovery #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthadvocate #mentalhealthwarrior #psychotherapy #therapy #mentalillness #mentalillnessawareness #mentalillnessisreal #surviving #exhaustion #fatigue #pain #backpain #invisibleillness #invisibleillnessawareness #invisibleillnesswarrior #invisibleillnesses #spoonie #spoontheoryinspired #constanttiredness #drained #foreverfatigued #sick #sickofbeingsick #chronicpain #chronicfatigue #medicated #integrativepsychotherapy

[danika-alice]

I don’t know about you guys but, isn’t winter a weird time of year? So many different celebrations happening, bonfire night, birthdays, Christmas, new year. Living with any kind of mental health illness at this time of year can be especially hard, there is this all consuming pressure mostly around Christmas and the run up to it for us all to be joyful and merry: that would be the dream right? That pressure is so overwhelming, because then we begin to question ourselves, why am I not as happy as I’m meant to be right now? For me I struggle immensely at this time of year because I idealise everything, I imagine perfect scenarios in my head of ultimate happiness and the perfect Christmas where everything is warm and incredible and essentially unrealistic- so when it doesn’t happen like that I swing straight into devaluation and feel so strongly at that point of how much I hate Christmas. In simpler terms; splitting. What we need to remember this winter is that there’s no set time for us to be happy, just because some Hallmark holiday suggests we should be doesn’t mean we are going to be, it’s not as simple as just flipping a switch. So don’t feel bad for your metal health this time of year, it’s okay! Don’t be hard on yourself, be soft, gentle and kind! Our symptoms will still be present, but that doesn’t mean we are any less worthy of these celebrations. One day at a time my beauties, one day at a time! #christmas #winter #anxiety #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #bpd #complexptsd #depression #seasonalaffectivedisorder #endthestigma #girlpower #honest #iamworthy #keepgoing #loveyourself #mymhjourney #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthadvocate #mentalillness #mentalhealthwarrior #notetoself #psychotherapy #recovery #therapy #vulnerability #wegotthis #badass #warrior #borderlinepersonality #splitting #idealisation #devaluation #blackandwhitethinking #dbt #goddess #weareworthy

[danika-alice]

Anxiety is responsible for activating the 'fight or flight' response Our bodies do this when we feel ourselves to be in some kind of danger. Everyone has times when they are anxious, it's a very real emotion, you're maybe anxious about a job interview or a date you have coming up and that's perfectly normal, however it is very different to living with an anxiety disorder. Feeling nervous goes, anxiety itself lingers much longer. Anxiety has been a massive part of my life and still is, these photos represent some stages of anxiety for me. Last night I couldn't breathe, I couldn't stop crying and I felt sick and my brain was going a thousand miles per hour, I was having a panic attack. This caused an Ibs flare up, sleep deprivation and flash backs. Today I went out and I did the thing that gave me a panic attack, I did it but the anxiety was still present. Shaky, nervous, overly emotional, nauseous but I did it. I am proud! Then comes the after effects of a rough panic attack the high emotions, the tight chest, the feelings of shame, the brain fog, the physical aches and pains, the heaviness of your entire body. Hello anxiety attack hangover 👌🏻 Today I went to a building I've never been to before and had to meet someone I have never met before, yes I did it and yes I am proud because I'm a badass warrior. Sometimes leaving my flat can cause an anxiety attack like this, sometimes being alone in my flat can also. These anxiety attacks knock me back for days, I'm exhausted and fatigued. Today was a win but I fought so hard for that win and now I need to recover from it. Not every day is going to be a win, some days the anxiety is just too much, some days I can't fight it. AND THAT IS OKAY! It's okay if your anxiety gets too much, it's okay if all you did today was breathe, keep breathing, keep living, stay on this journey with me. #anxiety #stagesofanxiety #anxietydisorder #anxietyattack #anxietysupport #bpd #bpdsupport #ptsd #complexptsd #depression #endthestigma #keepgoing #loveyourself #mentalhealth #mentalillness #mentalhealthadvocate #mentalhealthawareness #vulnerability #therapy #psychotherapy #mymhjourney #recovery #panicattack #wegotthis