I love little notebooks and their wonderous potential to be my secret cave
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People always talk about how looking online at girls and wishing you were as pretty as them is draining and bad for you or whatever but idc what they say it’s so fun
I love obsessing over them and admiring them 😭 Is it my Venus in the 8th house idk?
I also have Pluto in the 7th house I guess it could be that
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" 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓑𝓸𝓽𝓽𝓸𝓶 "
I've come to the realization
That I'll never be everything
Or anything to someone;
For I'll always see those I meet
With gold etched into their soul.
The bottom is where I reside.
With that being said,
I'll make it home here.
I'll put a blanket down
Where I rest at night,
Plant roses all around
The garden bed at daylight.
It hurts knowing
My worth isn't something
That'll be acknowledged.
But the bottom isn't always a ghetto.
~ asixnfr0g
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The idealization goes both ways.
When I've been idealized at the beginning of a relationship, the really big problem from my end is... I idealize them, too.
I want to believe in the chemistry, intense attraction, the "alignment," etc. SO SO BAD - and I wear extremely rose-colored glasses hoping I've found a person I could build a life with.
It's hard for me to see the person they are because I'm falling for the person they *could* be or the person they *want* to be (often mirroring me to varying degrees).
I get swept up, you know? It feels so good, and I'm craving the love and attention so badly - I can't resist it - I dive right in.
And I do think that my love is genuine. When the initial fire starts going down, I do justify to myself that I'm in love with a person, not a caricature... and often, I end up loving them more, when I see their humanity.
I think that's when I can't apply all my previous lessons - what do I accept as part of the process of relationship and connection? what do I NOT accept?
Something I'm really understanding/realizing now: I need to accept a person for who they are at the current moment, with the information I know from past experiences, throughout the whole relationship.
When you're a person who often had to set aside their own feelings and needs (especially in childhood) to keep the peace, it becomes SO EASY to just let things slide in a relationship (and I'm not talking about when someone is sick or has a legitimate excuse for something... I'm talking about when someone feels hurt or feels like their trust in the other person goes down - stuff like that).
You justify to yourself that it won't happen again, or it was a mistake, or even that the issue is resolved...
That's why it's so important to feel what you're feeling, EVEN IF YOU FEEL ABSOLUTELY UNHINGED AND UNSAVORY. Losing connection with who you are, your values, and how you're feeling... only snowballs all of this.
--
Then, when you can share your hurt with your partner (which is something all people in a relationship will have to do at some point), that's when the real test comes in: how do they react?
Remember how they react and how you feel afterward.
--
And honestly? If the other person thinks you've hurt them or something... and they're not satisfied with the resolution both of you came up with? Ask yourself why they want to be with you if you can't necessarily change that behavior. Ask yourself if you're okay with continuing to impact their trust and/or hurting them?
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Idealization Day One is almost finished! Here's a few snippets from the game ^^
Idealization WILL be an 18+ game.
Working on the audio right now and making a few changes. I have full intention of releasing it to the "Stained Red" game jam, which closes April 30th. So within the next four days!!!! asjkdgadkfhs
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The post-war idealisation of a balance of external work and domestic work for women led the queen of England, Elizabeth II, to release photographs and film of her with her family, even washing up at a family barbecue.
"Normal Women: 900 Years of Making History" - Philippa Gregory
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Cosas que aprendí este año:
Los planes no siempre salen como esperas.
El tiempo pasa muy rápido.
Que las personas NO son eternas.
Que cuidar de tu salud mental es muy importante!
Que pedir PERDÓN es de valientes.
Que no todas las personas son buenas.
Que llorar esta bien.
Que las personas van y vienen.
Que debemos valorar el tiempo que tenemos.
Que NO hay que volver a lugares donde no nos volarán ni aprecian.
Que debemos cuidar a las personas que amamos.
Que mi valor lo determinó yo; no las demás personas.
Que no le caes bien a todo el mundo y eso está bien.
Que no es necesario correr, a veces solo hay que dar un paso.
Que las acciones siempre serán más importantes que las palabras.
Que nunca debes acostumbrarte a una persona y menos idealizarla.
Que no se puede obligar a nadie a quedarse a nuestro lado.
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Advice for people trapped in the Venus archetype:
Question beauty, try and dissolve the illusions of the collective unconscious.
Loving love is completely different from loving real living people
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#5752
In a fantastical idealization,
I've found only imperfection
That will be my damnation.
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