#nevermind to season 1's character continuity

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, Season 2, Episode 15, Part 2 (Lost and Found, Aka The One Where Rory Loses Dean's Shitty Bracelet)

Part 1 and all previous commentary here. I should start renaming these things "Gilmore Girls 10 Minutes At A Time" because right now that's about all I can get through per day before Lorelai has me grinding my teeth into a fine powder. Luke and Jess are checking out some houses because Luke is totally going to move out to a new house in the middle of season 2. Luke and Jess have looked at about a half dozen apartments and they squabble over minor imperfections of each one, whether it be pink paint on the walls or an excess amount of windows. To both Jess and Luke: I would implore you both to be a little less stubborn and just take anything with two bedrooms. Your lives will drastically improve with any two bedroom apartment. Better yet, keep turning down every apartment in Stars Hollow until you've reached the next town. Continue this process until you're both living in another state completely. Jess eventually whatevers- I dont cares- you pick the place out of the situation because he's due at Lorelai's in 20 minutes to get treated like used gum on the bottom of her shoe and get paid in stale jelly beans. And we get a SadBaby™ quote.

Let's play another game of "What the hell is that: early 2000's gadget edition"

What the hell is that? VHS rewinder thingymabob.

Oh. It's just a clock. A clock that plays cds and makes barnyard noises. Would you look at that. Another one of my favorite mini games to play while watching gilmore girls is "Determining how an object is going to be integral to the plot of the episode". This is Gilmore GIrls so we are seeing this clock for a reason. This clock won't just show up and disappear with no further explanation. It always means something. Please say Lorelai hides her squealing State of the Art CD player pig clock when Jess arrives because she thinks he is going to steal it. PLEASE. I promise it's been long enough since I've seen the show that I don't know if that actually happens but I put nothing past her. Nothing. Let's take a break to Admire The Baby:

Although he may flake out on dates with Rory and skip school, our little Employee of the Month is always on time for work.

Narrator: He would not be getting his own room.

#AdmireTheBaby #Quick #BeforeLorelaiShowsUp

Narrator: Lorelai Gilmore did not find Jess Mariano's arrival to be all that terrific.

Nevermind moving down the street in Stars Hollow, he's hoping for that Male Gilmore Characters California Wormhole to suck him up and transport him to the opposite end of the country to get away from this hell. He still has to suffer for another season and a half before that'll happen. Jess is this emoji: 😐

Narrator: She was not trying. Rory gives Jess the ol Razzle Dazzle: "Why don't you talk more?" or more precisely "Why don't you talk around my mother"?

Why is Jess supposed to trust and adore and respect this random woman he doesn't know, who he sees pawing at his uncle he also doesn't know, a random strange woman who is very transparent in her feelings about him, who is transparently suspicious of him for no reason, someone so full of shit that he can see right through her when no one else can or will admit to it. WHAT I'M GETTING AT IT IS: Is he supposed to be happy to be in her presence or something? Why should he have anything to say? He's only doing this because of a rock solid work ethic, and I’d say because he hopes to earn some money. But I’d hate to dash poor Baby’s hopes about making any money and inform him that his uncle and his uncle’s weird friend agreed he could be paid subpar wages.

I think everyone in Stars Hollow is two faced anyway. They act like they like her but you know Patty and Babette talk shit nonstop about Lorelai when she's not around. Kinda like me.

Honey, you can just keep your pretty little mouth quiet around her and let me do all the shit talking.

Why? Even Rory is still more or less a stranger to him at this point, an acquaintance or loose friend at best (we know this because minutes earlier, Lorelai had Lorelai Thoughts about Rory saying Jess was a casual friend). Why does he have to please her mom? Rory says she went out on a limb to try to convince her mother that Jess was a good person. This is true. But why is she even wasting her breath trying to convince Lorelai when her mother clearly refuses to listen. It’s a hopeless endeavor. Jess does not even owe Lorelai the time of day so stop asking him to be nice to her.

#AdmireTheBaby Rory: It wouldn't hurt you to be nice to my mom. Jess: Why? Rory: Because she's my mom and a friend of Luke's. Jess: So? Just because she's your Mom or Luke's friend doesn't mean I automatically have to get along with her. Thank you for doing the work for me, babes. Mwah.

Fixed it with some flawless editing. Rory: If you care about me at all you'll be mildly polite to my mother.

GOT HER! :) #SharpAsATack

Mmm. Do go on.

I just skipped ahead to see what was happening at the 20 minute mark and it's Dean and I can't complain because yesterday I was literally begging for him to show up to divert the plot away from Lorelai even for a minute. Thank you Dean. Thank you. I am eagerly anticipating your whining and sulking at the book fair.

#AdmireTheBaby

We have been blessed with another Milo Ventimiglia Okuh. An okuh is like a soothing balm that makes everything better.

#AdmireTheBaby.

YAYYYY ITS DEAN! HOORAY FOR DEAN! DEAN DEAN DEAN DEAN.

Taylor's back on his bullshit I see. What are we raising money for, err should I say what cause is Taylor stealing money from? Please tell me it's the Bridge so I can divert my Lorelai Rage into Bridge Rage and Dean Rage. I'm a bit delirious right now. Amy Sherman Palladino: This character Dean likes to read books. No, sports. No, books again. No, he rides a motorcycle. Wait, books again. Softball? Dean hates to read. HOCKEY. Here is Dean early in season 1 contrasted with Dean halfway into season 2 (still wearing that smelly leather coat too):

I am particularly delighted whenever the 3 Dean Forrester fans in existence try to use Dean telling Rory "I watched you browse for books for two hours" as an example of his devotion to Rory. As you can see by this display of unbridled enthusiasm, he clearly wants to be here with her. When Rory disputes that it’s been that long and feels guilty for boring him, he shows her his watch to prove to her its been two hours. Dean Forrester is a stale chicken nugget that's been laying on the floor for 4 days. You know what would make everyone happy? Jess and Dean switching places. Dean could go over to Lorelai's and spend some time "cleaning her gutters" and Jess and Rory could enjoy the book fair. God, in what universe is it fucking fair that DEAN is the one who gets to accompany Rory to a book sale and he just acts like a miserable turd. While Jess is missing the book fair to work for Lorelai? UGH. I hear Rory's voice screaming "WHAT'S UP QUIPPY! WHY SO SILENT!" at Paris but my inner monologue is screaming "WHAT'S UP AMY! WHY COULDN'T JESS GO TO THE BOOK FAIR? HUH? WHY SO SILENT?! AMY!" Literally the only thing to ever happen in Stars Hollow that he would enjoy and voluntarily attend and instead he's slopping some bitch's gutters. I maxed out my 30 screen shots and I can't delete any of Baby so this three ring shit circus will spill into a part 3. See ya soon.

[toxicshipsincorporated]

oh man, how about 1, 9, and 19 for that ask meme. gimme the salt

Imma do TUA because I think that's my most recent & prominent fandom and that's where we met ahaha.

What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?*

mmm...definitely Dolores/Five. And I'll say this, to each their own. Ship and let ship from the womb to the tomb ya feel? But...I just don't get it as like a ship to be invested in, in terms of it being two characters. At the end of the day, Dolores is just a delusion brought about by immense stress and trauma and so it's always just....Five. You can have him talk to her, have her talk back to him, you could even have him have sex with her but...it will always just be....Five (imo). And that may work for some ppl. I can see it really really working for big Five stans but for me, ships are about dynamics. I've never been all that interested in just one character but rather what happens when you add a+b. So I just don't get that particular ship.

Most disliked character(s)? Why?

I didn't like Lila. But to be fair, I didn't like any character introduced after season 1....or even characters that were intro'd in s1 and continued to s2. And that's because I feel like s2 was an effort in....completely flattening all the characters. All the hard edges and interesting bits (the nasty, dark, and unlikable parts) of characters got shaved away and it was treated like.....development? Nevermind that I think it sucks that for characters to be "good" characters (from a technical standpoint) or to develop they have be....less complicated or less angry, less mean or broken. It's was like a big PR campaign where the writers were like "nvm!!! childhood trauma can't make you into deeply flawed and difficult and broken adult!! it actually just makes you goofy and quirky!! haha, have a fart joke."

And after that rant, gonna bring it back around, Lila was...like emblematic of what the showrunner/writers THOUGHT they should have done for the Hargreeves in s1. She just makes no sense to me as a character. Her actions, her decisions, etc. for me lack any strong grounding in....human emotion. There's no strong motivation that acts as a throughline for her narrative. She is inconsistent. She seems to only act and react as the the narrative needs her to. She is the illusion of depth.

For me, I think the first season was...imperfect but interesting. And the season that stayed true to the emotional core of the original comics. In the comics, the trauma, pain and abuse that characters experienced never made them BETTER, never made them badass or cool or edgy. It made them brittle. It made them mean and bitter and nasty. It kept them from establishing and maintaining strong relationships. It kept them from being able to love people in ways that didn't push that loved one away. BUT!!! Despite all that, despite the Hagreeves' trauma ultimately making them into deeply flawed and at times impossible to like or root for...it treated their story as still worth telling. Yes trauma and pain is ugly. Yes, it is uncomfortable and difficult and it does not feel triumphant or good. BUT IT IS STILL WORTH EXISTING. And I just felt like...that was a narrative that was so so important to me. It isn't just the good survivors, the pretty ones, the nice and sweet ones that deserve to have their story told. Even the people who LOST to their pain deserve their moment in the sun.

But...the showrunners and writers (and much of the viewers it seems) of s2 did not feel the same way. It was....discouraging and Lila...is really emblematic of all that for me.

I also don't care that much for Luther, especially in seasons 2 and on. At least in S1, he...made sense. Did I like his decisions? No but at least I understood him to be someone who was capable of...thought? After s1, I think the writers thought the only way to make him likeable was to make him as dumb as rocks.

What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

I guess...the thing I hated most was how mean so many people were. And I won't lie and say I was always an angel, I definitely had my moments (or fifty...) but...I think that was also the environment that was cultivated in the TUA fandom. From the drop, people seemed so intent on harm, anger, and viciousness. And maybe that has to do with how...visceral some parts of the first season was and how a lot of younger people who maybe shouldn't have been watching got into it. There was so much lashing out and attacking, people called each other horrible things, made horrific accusations. And it all came down to (imo) wanting to hurt someone else, wanting to inflict pain on others. For what reason??? I'm sure there are many.

Also ppl were so weird about sex a lot of the times? And kinks and dark fan stuff? Like...the original shit was dark as hell and even tho the show was quite a few shades lighter, the amount of....hypocrisy I saw in that fandom was.....stomach turning.

[flovey-dovey]

So Stella and her pride weren’t hurt at all by Stolas’ infidelity? Okay, I guess so. She doesn’t ever really say that to him when it’d be the most appropriate to do so, and I mean, hiring an assassin is just something everybody does once in a while am I right?

[hithelleth]

What I've (Not) Watched Lately

I’ve meant to do another one of these for so long there’s quite a number of things I’ve watched or tried to watch. Under the cut because it will get long, but I need to get my feelings out, so I can move on.

I watched 3 episodes of La Brea and then gave up because by episode 3 I should care at least one character and I just didn’t. And plot-holes, lack-of-logic-wise it was worse than Revolution (and that says a LOT). How do people survive the fall and flashlights work but apparently no car does and all plane electronics go out?

I know I shouldn’t expect logic from TV shows, silly me. Anyway, it’s a shame because based on the premise this could have been the new Terra Nova (gah, I think I need a rewatch.) As if I don’t watch too many things already.

I tried Midnight Mass and quit after one episode after I asked a friend and checked doesthedogdie, because ep ending was a very nasty surprise and apparently that continues throughout the show and nope, dead cats and lots of blood & gore to follow etc. are not for me and that’s fine.

I watched two episodes of Moon Knight, but like with La Brea, just didn’t care about the characters (even though Osccar Issac is hot). The plot was at least better but not enough – and I wasn’t in the right space for the moral dilemmas (as in everyone being wrong in some way) it presented. I might give it another go some time, though.

I finally quit New Amsterdam after 4x8, because it got boring and I can’t stand Max (and Max and Helen – and to think I really shipped them in the beginning but the put it off at least a season too long and meh) and I hated the about re: hospital policy, because we can’t make non-capitalist ways work, can we?

I half watched No Time to Die. It was the worst of the Daniel Craig’s Bond movies, IMO. Madeline came out of nowhere and hence, again, I just didn’t care that much about her and everything. IDK how they couldn’t have better established the supposedly core motivation of the movie better in 2 and half hours, FFS. A minute or two less shooting would do the trick, I think.

I also watched Un peuple et son roi, because it was on national TV and it had been on my list. European production is always a nice change of tone and it was okay, but nothing special.

Now, on to more engaging things.

Speaking of European production, I watched Heartstopper and it was fluffy, light, and adorable, and I am looking forward to S2.

I’ve also watched a ton of currently airing shows (now ended/ending for the season.)

The Rookie was a pleasant time-killer, as always.

I need to quit 911 Lone Star. The only good thing I remember from this season was that short Tommy/Julius venture. So, yeah.

I only watched episode 1 of S7 of LoT and IDK if I’ll watch it through the end. Maybe just the ep(s) where Wentworth Miller was back? Otherwise I lost interest and it also got cancelled. So, depends on my mood/state of boredom.

I continued watching CPD, mainly for Tracy, of course, and it also was a nice way to kill time.

I also started Chicago Fire mid-season purely due to Brett Dalton guest-starring, but then got attached to a few other people (mostly Violet) and kept watching. And I was so satisfied with Brett’s character’s arc. It was a healing experience, nevermind the different show and all. I was happy.

I also continued watching Law and Order: SVU & Organized Crime (which I got into at the end of last summer) and these, too, are excellent time-killers. Although, for such an old show – and the same goes for the Chicago franchise – and big fandoms, the said fandoms are surely conservative AF. I guess if I want any content for random unconventional rare ships that pop into my mind, I’ll have to make it myself. If only I had the time & energy. Oh well, I guess it’ll just stay in my head.

The height of my weekly watching was the FBI franchise, as you may have noticed, in particularly the spin-offs, in particularly, the FBI: Most Wanted spin-off. I actually meta-d about those sporadically as I went along.

So in short, FBI is more or less boring and I hate them going back and forth with propping OA up for positive ‘representation’ just to then make him bow down to the ‘way the job is done’, ugh. But Shantel van Santen did bring a bit of fresh air to the show at the end of the season.

FBI: International is what it is and I wrote about it before, but I was satisfied with the season ending (I only caught up today) re: Scott’s mum and as I said before, I am invested in these characters, so I’ll keep watching.

The new boss on FBI: Most Wanted also brought in a lot of fresh-air and as you’ve probably noticed I also got invested to the point of starting giffing again (some of which I still have to do, but see: time and & energy).

Although I’ve just learned Ivan’s leaving the show, WTF. Going like that, this show will be worse than LoT; only two original characters remaining already in S4.

But, again, I’m invested in the rest of them – I also really like Kristin and Hana and Barnes – so I’ll tune in for the next season.

Oh, yeah, I’ve also been watching Stalker, because of reasons. I still have 4 episodes left, but It’s very good, too bad there was just one season.

Phew. I think that’s all. I watched a few other things I believe I talked about in separate posts already.

[michals]

(Ok this was supposed to be like, a couple of paragraphs but it turned into a freaking essay, so it’s under the cut haha)

On Klaus, Luther and addiction

So this is something I personally find to have a lot of great thematic potential for these two characters. The idea of Luther falling into the same trap that Klaus has for both similar and different reasons and Klaus dealing with Luther’s addictions while facing his own is such a great thru line for both of them. The show’s set them up with the building blocks for this plot point and it would be so easy for it to come into play this season, especially this season actually.

Luther’s build up to addiction is subtle but I think they’ve planted the seeds enough to make it into something. Him falling apart in The Day That Was and his first reaction is to turn to alcohol and drugs is pretty significant considering it’s obvious that he’s probably been very ‘straight edge’ his whole life, probably never having even drank before then. And he tells Klaus straight out that he wishes he was like him, that he didn’t care and that he could just ignore all his own feelings like he thinks Klaus does. (I’ll get into how the family deals with Klaus’s addiction in a minute.) He goes out and  does things under the influence he would never have done while sober, things that end up being self destructive (ie having sex that he seemed to really not want). But even then he’s gotten the idea that if he’s drinking/on something then he’s not thinking about all his shitty feelings.

Season two really sets it up because it’s not just one event but several. In the first ep at the bar he has a drink very casually, like he’s been doing it for years and not just because his life fell apart in the past how many months. The flask when he goes to Vanya’s is really telling firstly because he has a flask on him at all times at this point, that he uses it to get his courage up to go in the barn, and that he does it even when he’s driving. But it’s the nitrous scene that really cements it for me, again simply because he went from being basically a teetotaler to jumping at the first offer of heavy drugs. And he says he should’ve done this a long time ago. If I may get a little personal I know how easy it is to fall into this, the idea of ‘hey alcohol (or drugs) makes me feel better or at least I don’t think/care as much so why wouldn’t I do it?’. It’s such an easy slope to fall down and on the surface Luther has plenty of reasons to want to.

Now, Klaus: there’s plenty already been said about Klaus’s relationship with drugs and alcohol so I won’t get too wordy. Klaus is defined to us right away as a junkie and addict. Someone who uses substances to avoid dealing specifically with his powers and also his shitty upbringing. He plays very fast and loose with his own sobriety and even his mortality. Basically: he uses drugs to avoid thinking or feeling bad, or at least worse but he’s far, far past the point of entry into full blown dependence.

The scene between him and Luther in season 1 is a personal favorite just because it manages to deal with and establish a number of thematic ideas and the potential for how Luther and Klaus’s relationship can go from there. Luther, like the rest of the family, doesn’t understand Klaus’s addiction partially because they’ve all been estranged for 13 years and partially because Klaus doesn’t take it seriously and puts forth a very flippant persona, hell he doesn’t take anything that seriously. The world’s ending, they don’t have the time or inclination to humor Klaus’s story of chocolate pudding. Luther clearly misunderstands his addiction because yes, Klaus comes across as kind of happy and okay with himself but that’s because of the drugs. To Luther who’s been locked up with their asshole of a father Klaus seems to actually have a life of his own.

But Klaus doesn’t try too hard to walk that opinion back and here’s something I find important that tends to get left out when people point out that the family doesn’t take Klaus’s problems seriously: Klaus doesn’t talk about it or try and deal with it. Klaus really really doesn’t like dealing with things if he thinks he can avoid them. His powers, his childhood, Reginald, Ben, his cult – if he can run away from it or make a joke about it instead that’s what he’ll do. The one thing he ever really shows much initiative with is Dave. He’s self centered and I mean that in the most basic way – everything comes down to what he wants to do and he actually keeps his feelings close to the vest for the most part. Basically he doesn’t want to give the others an ‘in’ point to really address it (bonus they all heaps of problems of their own). And when he does get into it just the barest amount with Luther Luther’s high as fuck.

(Just to touch on Ben he kind of doesn’t count because firstly he can’t talk to anyone else and secondly he and Klaus have such a strained relationship especially regarding Klaus’s drug use that even if anyone else could hear him he probably wouldn’t be that supportive.)

So, actually getting into the whole season 3 thing: the siblings are about to face off with a whole lot of daddy and family issues in this time line and everyone’s got huge potential for emotional and mental shakedowns, but I think Luther’s gonna have the worst time of it. Don’t think I’m going to get into that BS of comparing traumas and saying anyone’s more ‘worthy’ of sympathy than any of the others, I’m saying specifically because it’s to do with Reginald not only rejecting him yet again and outright replacing him but that it’s not even ‘his’ Reginald so does that mean all the shit he put Luther through doesn’t count? I just see it as catalyst for a real breakdown for him.

Not to say this won’t mess with Klaus but Klaus hated Reginald long ago and has accepted that the guy was a douchebag and had no real love for his children, so personally I see his drug use as dealing with Reggie’s abuse but more so to deal with his powers. So yes, this’ll absolutely fuck with him but Luther’s the primo target here.

So what if we see Luther leaning even harder into drinking or even heavier things? Now he really has an excuse to because where’s he supposed to go from here? What’s he meant to do? He’s not the leader anymore, his family doesn’t always treat his trauma seriously (Klaus parallels there) nevermind he doesn’t even like to address it himself, he has no idea who he’s supposed to be and the one person who he thought actually cared about him not only doesn’t but never did and now he’ll never get back what he saw as his purpose in life. The whole Ben being alive thing is just icing on the cake. If he spirals in s3 it would make perfect sense because of all this and all the set up for it.

Klaus spiraled too at the end of s2 again becoming the fatalistic junkie he used to be, he’s gonna run from his problems again but it’s not just his powers this time. So he’s off the wagon but what if he notices Luther is too?

I can definitely see Luther trying to hide it from the others. He’s already given away too much of his weaknesses, he doesn’t want them to see their ‘leader’ continue to fall and I don’t think he’d want them to know he’s still that affected by Reginald. They want him to have dealt with it, like he seems to have at least a little in s2, if he’s completely fallen apart because of his dad again then that just makes him look pathetic. So he keeps his flask and finds excuses to get away with stumbling or slurring his words. But Klaus notices, because Klaus knows the signs.

In that scene in s1 Klaus very obviously doesn’t like seeing Luther like that or using drugs as an escape like he does. He’s self aware enough to know that this isn’t any way to live but is too pessimistic when it comes to himself. But, again, he tends to be pretty self centered. This is not a bad thing, this is a great character trait and it makes Klaus interesting. He does not know how to relate to his siblings on the whole, doesn’t know how to talk about his own traumas and addictions, so when he does hear them out it’s usually because he had was focusing on his own shit first. For instance: when he has the heart to heart with Allison in her kitchen he’s only there in the first place because he was falling apart because of Dave.

Luther having a problem will have to be something Klaus purposefully chooses to deal with because he’s worried about one of this siblings. And for obvious reasons Klaus is the perfect one to help him with it. He doesn’t want to see Luther like that but he doesn’t really have a leg to stand on if he wants him to stop. Hell, if Klaus won’t stop why should Luther? Klaus can’t use ‘do what I say not as I do’, partially because Luther has proven to have some self destructive/self harming tendencies and again, if it makes him feel okay or at least steady then why would he stop?

But Klaus stopping means that he’s going to have to confront his quite literal demons when it comes to his powers (I could go off on how much I don’t love that he was somehow sober for 3 years in the 60’s no problem but it didn’t seem to affect his powers at all but that’s another post). The number one thing he’s been running from his whole life, something the show hasn’t actually done a whole lot with. We knows he hates it, we knows he’s tortured by it, but we’ve seen no evidence that he’s ever really confronted it. He was traumatized by Reggie who did everything wrong so he went the opposite route.

But what if he has to stay sober for Luther’s sake? Even if he doesn’t want to help, even if he just enables it or joins him at first eventually he’d have to come the realization that he doesn’t like this, that he wouldn’t wish this kind of problem on someone he cares about. So he’s going to have to turn inward, he’s going to have to face up to both his addiction and his powers, maybe even finally try to tame and use his powers. And at some point he’d have to talk to Luther about it and stop hiding behind his glib façade.

So in the end we’d get to see Luther falling apart trying to deal with everything that he still very much needs to deal with and his subconscious tendency for self destruction, Klaus confronting his addictions, his own feelings and relationship to his siblings, and his powers and hell, maybe then we’ll actually get him using his powers to his/the group’s benefit.

[popculturebuffet]

Lilo and Stitch Crossover Arc: “Rufus” (Kim Possible) Better and Worse (Paid for by WeirdKev27)

Aloha all you happy people! It’s back to Kauai for the third of my look at LIlo and Stitch’s crossover episodes! This retrospective was made possible by WeirdKev27, who had the idea for it and paid for me to review these episodes. You too can buy reviews for only 5 bucks a pop. Just go to my ask, Direct Messages or discord.

Now with my plugging out of the way, this one, out of all four is the one I looked forward to the most, and out of the four shows in this crossoverathon to make the trip to the Kauai, this one is hands down my faviorite. 

Kim Possible was just damn good and having rewatched a handful of episodes and the movie (Easily one of my faviorite Disney movies and the best DCOM, I will not back down on either), I can say it holds up every bit as good as it did in the early 2000′s. Frankly like Danny Phantom i’m surprised I never thought to get to it till now. But no time like the present: The show proper is a fun super spy sendup, but still feels unique: Instead of i’ts Teen Superspy working for some knockoff of MI6 or S.H.I.E.L.D., Kim is self employed, simply helping people because it’s the right thign to do and not for any reward with the help of her bumbling  but loveable sidekick and future boyfriend Ron, though the romance angle wasn’t overplayed with the two, just hinted at here and there, enough to make it plausable for Ron to realize he has feelings in the movie and for Kim to return them and frankly it’s probably the best handled “Friends to lovers’ plot i’ve seen in a children’s cartoon. I”ll get more into that if I hit my stretch goal for it on patreon, more on that at the end of the review, but while it has no baring on this review I still felt it worth noting as that trope is NOT easy to pull off.

Point is, the show was smart, funny, engaging and had two great characters, a tremendously talented voice cast, and more anchoring it. It was a treasured part of my adolsence. It also had one of the only succesful “Save our show” campagins from fans i’ve ever seen. Despite So The Drama having been written as a finale and having reached Disney’s episode count, fan demand for a fourth season was so incredibly high we got one and it’s to this day one of the very few Disney shows to live past three seasons as a result. The show is in full on Disney Plus, along with the movie, which I HIGHLY recommend and hope I get to talk about, and the recent live action remake movie which .. is not bad. Not GREAT but the leads do make a good kim and ron, paticuarlly my boy Sean Gambone as Ron, and for a live action remake it really does get the spirit of the show. 

But obviously we’re not here to talk about the show proper, though I REALLY want to now, but instead it’s crossover. So far the crossovers for Lilo and Stitch have been, much like said live action remake, OKAY, but nothing amazing, often shoving in sideplots related to Lilo and Stitch proper we didn’t need, forced morals and not really having a good amount of character intraction. The good news is this crossover DOES fix a lot of that.. the bad is that it also has some new problems, and still falls into some of the same traps the other episodes have. See what I mean with the full review under the cut!

We open at night, with Lilo and Stitch playing hide and seek. Adorably though Sttich dosen’t quite get the hang of it and proudly announces where he is. However things are quickly interupted when he’s kidnaped by a mystery ship out of the blue. It’s a good hook to start with, leaving us wondering who it could be...

And thus, if you hadn’t gone into this episode knwoing it was a crossover, giving us a hell of a reveal with a cut to Dr. Drakken being the one to kidnap stitch!

Look I love this Doofus. He’s easily one of John DiMaggio’s best roles, up there with Jake and Bender, and the one along with Bender that cemented his career. as one of voice acting’s finest. He’s just so loveably incompetent, over the top and quick to bicker with Sheego, which leads to some of the funneist moments in his home series as she’d either skewer him good or he’d shove his boot in his mouth and help her point instead of his own. He’s just such a great character and he not only fits neatly into Lilo and Stitch’s world, but the writers clearly get him perfectly. We get a hilarious bit where, fed up with Hamsterviel, who he’s teamed up with, he simply fakes the radio going out, adjusting the dials purposfully to make it come in buggy something I GUARANTEE he put in for SHeego and I gurantee she saw right through. His plan is to create a clone army of Stiches.. meaning Hamsterviel’s big evil plan.. is a copy of someone else’s.

Lilo goes to Jumb and Pleakly, the latter of whom has been collecting magazines adorably. Lilo plans to go after Stitch but Jumba says she can’t go on dangerous missions without him and to get a professional and this part.. does not work for me. Most of the time Jumba ENABLES Lilo’s behaviors and while not wanting an 8 year old to run out into the night is a good call, he also suggests getting help.. instead of you know GOING WITH HER WHEN IT’S LIGHT. It sounds more like Nani’s idea... it fits her more to not want Lilo to run out and to want to get help versus Jumba whose admant about keeping secrecy yet very lax on things, and you know would BE concerned that his prized creation was suddenly stolen and actually think about it. He’s just so horribly out of character it hurts. 

And Nani’s absence really hurts the episode. See the last two, as much as I missed the lovely and talented Tia Carrere’s presence, didn’t really need her, though still could’ve included her: she could’ve made a cameo at the start since Lilo was there to visit her and she woul’dve made a better target for Spats than trudy, with Oscar fighting Jumba instead, allowing us some crossover interactions instead of having Jumba argue with a random asshole the episode wrote in. But it’s minor stuff. Here though? Her being the one to tell Lilo not to go would’ve made more sense: She’s protective by nature, and while she’s let go more since the movie, it’d make sense for her NOT to want Lilo to blindly chase after someone who beat stitch of all beings, as well as for her ot be the one to later tell Kim not to let lilo be involved. It’d be stronger coming from her sister and surrogate mother than Pleakly and it would’ve been a better arc to have Nani let Lilo off the leash so to speak and accept she needed to save kim. Instead she’s just gone for no reason and Jumba is grosly out of character and i’m disapointed. 

That said the setup is the best and most intergrated so far: Pleakly sees an article about kim so he reaches out to her via a message on her site, while Lilo is stubborn about not being help.. obnoxiously so to the point it hurts the episode. While her being inscure about someone else saving Sttich would be fine, the episode never adresses that and instead just has her say she can because shut pu instead of accepting help. The episode would’ve flowed better if instead she accepted kim but Nani had Kim push her away, and thus create more problems. More on that in a bit. 

But as I said this setup is great: it uses BOTH shows for once isntead of feeling like the first two, and honestly the next one judging by the blurb on the wiki, where its just “Hey x character visits Kauai”, here it blends both: The two main villians team up, and Kim is logically called for help since that’s what she does and they don’t want to risk lilo’s saftey. It’s good stuff. 

So our other heroes enter the episode, on a ritzy jet as Kim’s dad had an old college friend with an airline. I admit the episode weirdly downplays Kim’s penchant for getting rides, getting a helicopter that appears to be a touring one and getting this one via her dad instead of the usual person who owes her a favor. IT was a neat part of her character: that she got help from people she already helped on adventure’s we hadn’t seen to establish she can’t drive herself yet and to show she’s an experinced heroine with a lot of history before the show started. I also like how a handful of episodes after season 1 had returns from people we HAD seen before or linked to them, a clever way of having callbacks. 

It’s simple stuff Kim is ready for the wrold saving mision and ron hopes to get a vacation in. Nothing too out of the ordinary. 

So the next day Lilo tries to go it solo but is spotted before she can leave, while Pleakly has built a.. photo colloage of Kim’s face on the wall...

... no wait i’m getting paid for this. Nevermind. 

It is funny as it is unsettling though and Kim arrives and Pleakly faints.. Ron also arrives doing fake kung fu moves. This episode gets ron about half right... they overdo it a bit on the shenanigans, but Will Freidle’s natural charm and talent mean that even standard ron bits coughed up by a cat onto a page and used for this script still work simply because he’s that good at delivery. 

We also get the who’s on first bit you all knew was coming as Kim asking what’s the Sitch confuses lilo and i’ts .. pretty funny. Again you could see it coming from a mile away, but Daveigh Chase and Christy Carlson Ramano really sell the hell out of it and we get a nice runner after of Kim misprouncing his name and trying NOT to say her usual catchphrase. 

She also gets filled in on the alien thing... and while she admits i’ts a lot to swallow, she also admits she’s seen weirder. And given this episode would, by airdate (ignoring the one for So the Drama as that aired before the last batch of season 3 episodes but continuity wise takes place between seasons 3 and 4), take place around the same time as the season 3 intended finale “Team Impossible”, by this point she’s seen vengeful fishteens mutated by a horrifying summer camp, a rogue gentecist who basis her crimes against nature on a beanie baby knockoff, magical monkey based kung fu, a magican egyptian amulet, killer robot’s resembling teenage girls, a body swap episode, a plan using a barcode to destroy the internet, an attack on canada, a giant poodle, a complicated time travel plot, a trucker with a mullet, her sidekick getting turned into a surprisingly competent supervillian, and draken’s plan to use his rap career to promote brainwashing shampoo. And that’s just a handful of the things I was reminded of on the episode list. So yeah, this isn’t THAT much of a stretch. Oh and lest you think Kim never encountered aliens the series finale was an alien invasion by aliens Draken had pissed off earlier in the season. Suprised Lilo didn’t you know have Stitch and the family army pitch in. Maybe Leory and Stitch was going on at the same time? 

Point is she’s in but goes with Pleakly in trying to keep Lilo out of it. And here’s yet another place the episode missteps: Kim’s REALLY patronizing to Lilo, treating her like she can’t do anything and later ignoring her advice when she brings up the current later, something that ends up getting Kim caught. The latter part especially bugs me since Kim normally listens to her clients pretty well, and had she doubted him could’ve at least asked Waid since she contacts him in the same scene. Speaking of which THAT’S why I feel her patronizing “not now kiddo” atittude dosen’t work: her spy master IS a child, her brothers have helped out multiple times, and the incident I mentioned from where she met her younger cousin who idolized her at an old west town was understandable: Her cousin was getting into dangerous stuff and throwing herself out there recklessly with no regards to her own saftey and impeding the mission with her well meant antics. Lilo.. knows who their looking for, knows the island well, and knows stitch’s weaknesses. And she goes from being annoyingly hostlile to kim to helpful, so it makes kim even more obnoxious for not accepting said help. It’s just.. draining as when this part of the plot ISN’T in play, Kim is fine. She’s her usual self.. not AS well written as the parent show, a bit too reliant on her catchphrases, but still not half bad and Christy Carlson Romanao, like Fredle helps paper over the weaker bits of the script.  She’s not even out of character in her actions, as she does have a tendency to think she knows everything or undereistmate people.. the problem is it’s written poorly enough she comes across as insufferable, and unlike the show, where she actually learned something here.. she just learns to work as a team? When she does on a regular basis with Wade and Ron? 

It’s just so frustrating because they almost had it just right, but instead just had to try and put some half assed moral about teamwork in there. They broke from the formula of having an experiment of the week but they still just HAD to keep to their own formula. And look Kim Possible has it’s own formula.. but it used that to great effect, often using the episode’s plot to shake it up in fun ways, and the plots were still diffrent enough and the villians bold and intrestin genough that it didn’t grate.  This is starting to grate. And I do remember good and intresting episodes of the show.. but i’m starting tor ealize why I don’t remember NEARLY as much of Lilo and Stitch as I do the other shows it’s crossing over with: it’s so bolted to the formula they all just sorta blend together. It’s really fucking disheartning to realize something you loved so damn much as a kid just.. isn’t as good as you remember. And with these other shows.. I don’t have that as much. I accept proud family’s fault, Jake Long actually seems MORE intresting than it was at the time, and rewatching kim possible it’s excellent, same with recess coming up. I really need to watch more Recess. The most disheartining thing about this arc is the crossover just shows how BETTER the other shows were. Lilo and Stitch wasn’t a BAD show, and it isn’t here.. but it’s a mediroce one. it has a good premise. but it feels like they just don’t break away from the premise enough. This just... hurts a lot to type and realize. I really loved this show and movie as a kid and while the movie likely still holds up this.. this just dosen’t. 

I need a moment... i’m breaking open the glass case containing my emergency patrick stewart clip excuse me...

That.. I needed that. 

So before the bicker sisters can head off, we get our goofy comedy subplot: Jumba thinks Rufus is one of his experiments, one that could destroy the universe if not cancel and is highly unstable. As for why this one wouldn’t of worked out, I get why: it’s TOO powerful. Stitch is a weapon of mass distruction in a cuddly package, but he’s also easily deployable, kind of like Wolverine if he was in the body of a cartoon mascot. Having the THREAT of destroying ap lanet is fine and good for the long term but it does you no good if you can’t control it and i’td just destroy you too. 

So he and Pleakly try to steal rufus without telling Ron why after Ron naturlaly refuses to sel land a chase insues. So while the boys and gender fluid person have their comedy plot, the girls head to where stitch was taken and find Draken’s glove.... they know it’s his because he put a note saying “return to dr. draken, his mother gave it to him”. That’s just.. fucking precious. And entirely in character. So kim aranges a ride, and dives into the ocean, but finds lilo in her parachute, and tries to send her back despite LIlo offering valuable advice both about the area , the current I mentioned earlier, and about stitch, i.e. Draken’s base is underwater (something Kim didn’t realize which feels odd for her), because Stitch can’t swim, something I genuinely forgot. 

So while Kim sends Lilo back, or rather intercut with that but I choose to compress plots for my own convinence we cut back to Drakken and Shego. And I WAS worried that Shego wouldn’t show up, she wasn’t in the synopsis or anything and was delighted to find that nope she’s here. Drakken just isn’t the same without her.. I mean I liked the recurring subplot in season 4 where other villians would break her out, that was great, but in the end the two need each other. I may not ship them romantically but as a comedy team one just needs the other: Drakken needs Shego to cut down his ego and Shego needs someone to snark at and complain about. Sullivan and DiMaggio just had perfect chemistry and it’s easy to see why Drakken and Shego went from just another part of the Rogue’s Gallery to Kim’s arch enemies. 

Which is why I am sad Gantu and 625 don’t show up for this one. I mean I can buy it: Hamsterviel likely is doing this on the sly to see if he can find a better minon, but the two sets of villians have similar dynamics and i’d love to see Shego and 625 dunk on their bosses together. It’s a really big missed opportunity but I do get it as they may of just nto been able to fit the two together or it may of been hard to block a lot of scenes iwth the human sized drakken and the giant sized gantu. So unlike a lot of missed opportunites in the other episodes, this one I at least can understand. 

We get some GREAT banter with the two though. Out of the four guest characters in this one the crew really got Drakken and Shego down and the two bicker like any episode of Kim Possible, with Shego pointing out the massive bill on Stitch’s cage and how Drakken’s tried cloning about five times now and it’s never worked, and of course how he’s 50 50 splitting with a hamster bellow his station. Seriously why get rid of Gantu and 625 but keep the annoying rodent, I don’t get you episode. 

Of course while they quack quack bicker bicker Stitch escapes and Shego gives chase. Sadly we don’t get a fight between the two like we did with Jake, another missed opprotunity but Stitch getting out of her grasp by licking her is objectively funny. Stitch finds he’s underwater though and gets recaptured. 

Kim gets captured for the first time shortly after as the current caught her, but luckily she has kimunicator gloves and calls waid to call ron. Meanwhile Ron finally catches rufus back and Jumba explains the situation.. but Ron understandably dosen’t want to give up his buddy especially since Rufus has shown no signs of being a planet killer before. He’s not mooncake... althought i do think those two could hang. God now I just want a final space kim possible crossover to wash this out of my mouth. 

So it’s down to Lilo, the really not all that ambigiously gay their pretty darn gay duo, and Ron to save the day. Lilo finally gets to do what she kept asking kim to do: use jumbas hot rod car spaceship thing to go down under the sea, and they send Lilo and Rufus in since hteir small enough to get in and suriive the pressures. Our heroes arrive and Drakken is nonplussed.. only for Lilo to prove WHY she can keep an alien in line by freeing stitch from teh leash drakken has him on using kim’s grapple gun, and then frees kim. The good guys win and the bad guys loose and the base starts to self destruct.. eh they’ll be fine. They still have the movie to get to. 

So time for the wrap up: Stitch sniffs Rufus and confirms what the audience knew... that he’s a naked mole rat not an experiment. Which didn’t make sense to begin with for either show: Jumba’s archive should’ve been able to scan him or something (And if not he could build something to do that), and Kim Possible not only implied from day one Ron had Rufus a while, long before the rain of the pods, but A Stitch in Time outright confirms Ron bought him years ago in middle school. It just makes no sense and while it thankfully dosen’t take up a ton of the episode it still takes up too much. 

But with that our heroes prepare to part on good terms but Pleakly decides to celebrate with  Luau. Kim’s repsonse “Well I can do anything...”

And we get a gratuitous luau sequence! I do love a job that allows me to type the phrase “Gratuitous Luau Sequence’ They clearly ran short and we just get a good minute of everyone doing hula dances for no reason. I mean.. you could’ve done a quick gag with the experiment who was mistaken for Rufus... who I now realize given the finale was befriended by someone. I’m headcanoning now Kim and Ron came back for that one and Kim had him sent to space as part of one her dad’s projects where he and earth would be safer and he could help with space missions or something. 

Final Thoughts: As you could tell I had mixed thoughts. As a crossover this melded things better, had a more original plot and the actors from Kim Possible brought their a-game.. but once again some disapointing characteteriztion and downright stupid decisions really let the episode down. These episodes just depress me every time and I’m looking forward to being done.. which given how excited I was going into this.. yeah. Like all of these despite their flaws I recommend checking it out if you like Kim Possible, if nothing else than for some extra drakken shego banter but.. keep your expectations low.

Next Time on Kim Possible: A team of spiteful assholes who are in a way repsonsible for Kim’s Career try to shut her down. It’s the intended finale episode outisde of hte movie people buckle up.. or you would if I was doing any of these. Though I should do “Team IMpossible” at some point. 

On the finale of these crossovers: The Recess Gang are the final visitors to Kuai as Lilo must find and stop a lazy monster... no i’m not guest starring too. 

Tommorow: Another kev one this time by patreon as I put two similar episodes of a show or franchise against each other and ask “Who Did It Better?” This time it’s two episodes of Celebrity Death Match, original versus revivial may the original.. probably win. 

If you liked this review, please consider supporting my patreon, YOU CAN FIND THE LINK TO IT HERE.  For just 2 bucks a month you get access to my discord, to pick a short each time I do one of my shortstravaganzas, and acess to my Patreon exclusive reviews! Next month I intend to do one for the show whose crossover gets the most likes within a week of it’s relase. Proud Family has already passed American Dragon so you have a week to get it ahed. And if you like Kim Possible, help me reach my 25 dollar stretch goal! At that i’ll review So The Drama, along with the Recess and Proud Family Movies. So check it out and i’ll see you at the next rainbow. 

[itmighthavebeenintentional]

Detours on the Road so Far - Ch 1

Detours on the Road so Far

- Or - 

Why Sam and Dean Need Actual Adult Supervision

Summary: Shenanigans. Lots of them. Crack. Probably some pie. (SERIES SUMMARY)

Warning: Shenanigans. Unintentional drug use. Crackfic. 

Rating: Let’s call this one at least Teen, if not Mature. See Warning above.

Word Count: 1700-ish

Author’s Note: THIS IS CRACK: unapologetically, unequivocally, utterly crack. Some of it makes little sense. Some of it makes fun of our favorite characters. I love these guys; this is just for fun. The stories are not in any particular order. Time frames will be referenced at the beginning of each chapter. Also, I was having some formatting issues, so if this ends up looking really wonky, please let me know, and I’ll do what I can.

This story is dedicated to a wonderful friend who let me behind the scenes into their writing process and watch the development of a wonderful story, a friend who fiercely has their folks’ backs and is the first on the scene if support and flails are needed. To a writer who can write action, romance, intrigue, and brothers being brothers. @stunudo​ , I am so glad I met you, and even gladder you didn’t absolutely fire me for all the awful puns.

ItMightHaveBeenIntentional’s Masterlist

Chapter 1: Everything is Awesome (set sometime in season 8...ish)

Sam yawns as he shuffles down the hall, scratching the back of his head and grinning to himself. It still amazes him, even after the months they’ve been here, to have an actual home and comfortable bed to come back to after their days and weeks on the road. Even the hours crammed in the car with his brother and his painfully slow evolution of music is more bearable, knowing there are clean sheets, peace (relative peace, anyway) and quiet, and their very own refrigerator waiting for them at the other end.

He pauses as a new sound drifts towards him from the kitchen, and he frowns. It’s not a bad sound, exactly; he knows exactly what it is. But Dean doesn’t tend to sing this early in the morning, and not ever in the kitchen. It’s not the most wrong thing Sam has ever heard, but it’s strange enough for him to take notice.

Well, he can’t be possessed, so...hex bag, maybe? Their last case in Colorado didn’t involve witches, but there was always the chance they’d run across one without realizing and pissed him or her off somehow.

Dammit.

 He cautiously enters the kitchen, hoping that he’s just assuming worst case scenario. He is greeted by the sight of Dean seated at the table, staring intently at a large, clear glass coffee mug as he adds creamer to the steaming brew. 

“Morning,” Sam says, stretching. Dean waves distractedly, his concentration focused entirely on his coffee. At least that part is normal. He doesn’t usually add creamer, but it’s not unheard of, so Sam simply shrugs as he turns to the fridge. 

At least the singing stopped, or (better yet) maybe he just imagined it in the first place. Maybe he just hadn’t been fully awake yet. Sam opens the refrigerator, his eyes already moving over the contents to find something for breakfast that won’t add to Dean’s cholesterol issues his older brother tacitly refuses to acknowledge.

Except there aren’t any contents to peruse. The entire refrigerator is completely empty. Not even a wrapper.

 He turns back to Dean, the questions dying on his tongue as he watches his brother continue to add creamer to his coffee, dark brown and beige swirling in the clear mug. Dean finally sets the creamer down, watching the coffee cup as if he’s been interrogating it and it’s finally about to break.

 “Sammy,” he says, his eyes glued to the mug, “we are never using anything but clear coffee cups again. This shit is magic.”

 What?

“Seriously, Sam,” he continues, his eyes lit with pure, childlike innocence and curiosity. “It just...it mixes itself. Food doesn’t do things to itself, Sam. I mean, yeah, Jell-O moves by itself, but no other food does that. But Jell-O is evil, anyway, so yeah. Wait, except for Jell-O shots. Jell-O shots are awesome. But otherwise, Jell-O is a slime creature sent by Eve to torment small children into thinking they’re getting a real dessert when it’s really just ectoplasm’s third cousin. Twice removed.”

 And then Dean giggles.

 Sam stares at his brother, his jaw hanging down, absolutely clueless as to how to proceed. First, Dean has never said that many words together in his entire life. Second, what the fuck? Third, what. The. Ever. Living. Fuck.

 Dean adds more creamer.

 “I think...I think that’s enough, Dean. You’re going to spill your coffee.”

 Horror washes over Dean’s face, and he slams the creamer container on the table, dropping down to eye his coffee along the top edge. “Sacrilege! I wouldn’t do that, Sam, you know I’d never waste coffee like that!”

 Sam knows he needs to close his mouth at some point, but it’s just too damned early to go with the flow on this shit.

 “Dean, are you feeling okay? I know we got back pretty late last night, but you’re acting a little off.” But his brother isn’t acting tired, not exactly. Sam realizes that his brother is also still wearing yesterday’s traveling clothes.

 “Dean, did you sleep in your clothes?”

 Dean reaches out a finger and slowly pokes his coffee mug. The cream swirls lightly through the dark liquid, further mixing the two, and Dean...giggles.

 Again.

 “It’s kinda sad when they finally get all mixed together,” he says, frowning a little. Then his face brightens as he grabs the mug. “But now I can drink it, so that's less sad, right? I mean, you can’t really be sad drinking coffee, Sam. You should drink more coffee; you’ll be less sad all the time.”

 Sam’s jaw clenches involuntarily as he watches Dean alternate between sips and sloshing the cup around to watch the contents. His brother is obviously not in any distress, but spells have started out like this before, seemingly harmless and then, before you know it, hearts are exploding or organs disintegrate or something else equally nasty.

 “I can hear the colors, Sammy,” Dean murmurs, tapping the mug gently. “I think...what, would you say? Beige? Ecru? Does it sound like ecru to you?”

 Sam was unaware Dean even knew those colors existed, much less how to pronounce them. Luckily, since Dean is wearing yesterday’s clothes, it makes looking for the hex bag easier. After two unsuccessful attempts to get Dean to go through his own pockets (“But the coffee isn’t in my pockets, Sam, it’s in my hands. Why the hell would I put down the coffee to look through my pockets?”) Sam gives up with a sigh that holds the burdens of the world in it and searches his brother’s clothes himself.

 “Knock if off! That tickles; you’re gonna make me spill the coffee!”

 For fuck’s sake.

 His search proves frustratingly fruitless. But if the hex bag isn’t on Dean, then what? A spell? A curse? What the hell is going on?

 Sam’s stomach growls, adding another question to the long list. Where the hell is all the food? Well, that, at least, he can ask Dean and maybe get a straight answer.

 “Dean, do you know why the fridge is empty? It was pretty stocked when we left. Where’d all the food go?”

 Dean grins and points down at the stomach of his shirt, which is a bit rounder than normal. “In mah belleh.”

 When Sam’s face finally emerges from his palms, he finds Dean staring at him with alarming concern.

 “Are you hungry, Sam? We can go to town and get breakfast! That would be awesome, breakfast is awesome! Do you want pancakes or waffles? Nevermind, you’re huge, you should eat both. You need to eat more, Sam, you’re too skinny.”

 “Seriously, dude, are you feeling okay? You’re acting...weird.”

 “You know what’s weird, Sammy? I ate two pies, a block of cheese, and all those protein bar things you hide in the back of the pantry. And by the way, you don’t need to hide those things from me anymore, they are absolutely vile. But then I had those bags of chips, and...what else. Oh, yeah, there was some bologna, I think, and I ate the bacon, and whatever was in the vegetable drawer, which actually ended up not being horrible. But I’m still kinda hungry.”

 Sam is speechless. It doesn’t happen often, but apparently it can still happen, even after all these decades of living with his brother. He just can’t wrap his head around-

 Wait, what pie?

 “Dean, we didn’t have any pie before we left, and we didn’t stop on the way home yesterday. What pie did you eat?”

 “Sarah gave me two pies as a thank you. It would have been rude not to eat them. I had a piece last night after you crashed, and it was -awesome- so I had another piece, and then I had to try the other pie, and it was friggin delicious, and then I looked up and some asshole had eaten the rest of both the pies.” He eyes Sam suspiciously for a minute, clutching his coffee mug a little closer to himself.

 “And then I got hungry, so I had a snack.”

 “What was in the pies, Dean?”

 “Dunno,” he says, slurping coffee obnoxiously loudly. “Deliciousness. Sarah didn't say what kind they were, just said they were her way of saying thanks for getting rid of the ghost. Called it her ‘University of Colorado Specials’ or something like that. But those pies were made of magic, Sam, delicious, delicious magic.”

“What else did Sarah say, Dean?”

The elder Winchester thinks long and hard for a moment, frowning. “She didn’t. She winked a lot, though. Do you think she had something stuck in her eye?”

 Sam leans on his hands to keep from using them on his brother. He takes a deep, steadying breath and tries again.

 “Can you tell me anything else about the pies, Dean? Anything at all?”

 He thinks for a long moment, then his face melts into a dreamy expression Sam is pretty sure he’s never seen on his brother’s face before. “One of ‘em was this lemon thing that was like a citrus tree starred in a porn. The flavor just explodes in your mouth like-”

 “I don’t need to know!”

 But Dean is still going.

 “A firecracker, Sam, a Roman Candle of delicious. And the other was this...chocolatey, coffee, creamy thing. Coffee, Sam! Coffee and chocolate in a pie! They can do that now! What’ll these crazy college kids think of next?”

 He grins at Sam, taking another long slurp of coffee. Sam bites his lip, considering Dean for a long silent moment. He’s pretty sure now that Dean will be just fine and more than likely back to normal by the end of the day...maybe.

 “I’m gonna go check in with Sarah. Just make sure she hasn’t...erm...seen anything else weird.”

 “But, Sam, we ghosted that ghost!” Dean stops, thinks about what he just said, and giggles.

 Again.

 “I just want to see...how much...we ghosted that ghost. And maybe get the recipes for those pies. I’m sure everything’s fine. You know me, I just like to be sure.”

 “That’s awesome, Sam, you’re so awesome! We could make the pies together! And you could even eat some! You still need to eat more. Can we go get breakfast now?”

 Sigh.

 “Yeah, Dean. We’ll go get breakfast. I’ll call Sarah on the way.”

 Dean grins, his whole face lighting up, and Sam allows himself to see at least a little humor in the situation.

 And then Dean starts singing that song from the damned Lego movie, and Sam. 

Just. 

Can’t.

[ohnobjyx]

Thank you so much for the work you put into the detailed posts on xz's situation. One thing that jumped out at me in Part 3 was the "xiao xianrou" issue. Bad shows/films with xxr's are usually bad on multiple fronts: script, direction, editing, etc. However, due to “fan quan” loyalty culture, the xxr’s fans will support a work by their idol even if it is objectively terrible. This incentivizes/rewards poor productions with xxr’s, which is a trend that upsets regular viewers. (1/3)

Sometimes poor production is (or implied to be) blamed on the expensive salaries of highly sought-after xxr's, and draining the project’s budget in other areas. A lot of these works are also adaptations, so the poor quality upset fans of the source material. One example is “Jade Dynasty” which stars xz and came out months after CQL. It was objectively terrible in pacing, editing etc. but hugely successful financially thanks to xz’s fame (2/3) 

The film was originally probably banking on the source material, and since xz wasn’t nearly as popular when he was cast. But thanks to fans and promotion based on him, everyone knows xz stars in Jade Dynasty, which made lots of money but is “really bad”. And no matter how bad Jade is, investors would be happy to make the same deal again. The issues of xxr, “fan quan”, and economics of the c-ent industry, and public perception of idols in it are all interconnected. (3/3) 

Hi, anon! I’m sorry that it took me so long, but I really liked your perspective on this issue.

(This... ended up long. Again. Well. I’d say that I’m sorry, but I’m not).

You’re right of course. When I was writing that part of the post, I was thinking of another famed celebrity, who started out as a model. There were some vicious criticism about her acting and that her bad acting had ruined some of the series she starred in.

I haven’t actually seen Jade Dynasty, so I can’t comment on that one yet, but what you say reminds me a lot of “The legend of Ruyi”. Because it’s the continuation of a very successful drama, it got a huge budget, but they spent half of it in the salaries of the two leading actors, Zhou Xun and Wallace Huo (both older, seasoned actors, that have been in the industry for years).

Said half of the budget was $22.5 millions (a total of 30 million for all of the actors). That’s a lot of money. That’s why earning 15 million per episode was considered the minimum (and it also raised a debate about where’s the limit for a tv drama). But because so much was spent on the actors the production was quite poor. It was also bad timing that it got aired short time after a drama also set in the same historical period Story of Yanxi Palace (after their initial success, Ruyi’s airing had to be put off to avoid immediate comparison, but they still got compared anyway, though they both did well in charts) spent more than 90% of their very similar budget in production.

That produced a highly historically-accurate (well, except Gao guifei’s costume) and incredibly beautiful and extrincate costumes, that combined with a good plot and superb leading actors took over by surprise the audience.

(Yes, the costumes were handmade for the series, and the hair accesories and such were also handmade following traditional methods. Some of the emperor and empress’ robes took months to complete. And they did them for every single character. Nevermind if it’s maid #7 or this girl that’ll never appear again after episode 1. I like pretty things and I’m weak to such great production).

I’ve brought these two here to make a comparison, because it addresses some of the issues you’ve commented on your ask. These two shows are based on the same period (Qianlong Emperor’s reign) and had around the same budget, so when the time came, the fans’ comparisons were merciless.

While Ruyi spent half of their budget in the acting crew’s salary, Yanxi spent 90% of theirs in production. Such a acting crew brought by fans of said actors, which added to the original Legend of ZH’s fans and their acting made possible the success they had afterwards.

However, Yanxi didn’t slack in the casting: they hired professional and seasoned actors, that just never made it so much into the limelight.

While prodution + actors+ plot (the vindictive, petty heroine made a great change from the usual meek and pretty heroine of these kind of dramas) made Yanxi a success, poor production did affect Ruyi’s overall effect. And I won’t talk about plot to avoid spoilers, but imo Ruyi’s plot had some problems as well. 

What saved Ruyi was, from my pov, Zhou Xun’s acting. The whole casting does a great job, but hers... I was left speechless. And it’s also the reason why I’ve good memories of the series after all (it also produced a heartbreaking Ruyi AU wangxian fic here).

All in all: the audience is beginning to realize the problem there is with these highly sought after celebrities and their high salaries (it’s almost a competition sometimes as to who can hire who). They’ll still look after these kind of celebrities because they bring in a lot of fans, that’ll watch the show because their favourite idol is in it, even if they sacrifice the production cost as a result However, well-produced drama with a good plot and less well known actors (Story of Yanxi, The Untamed) has also proved to do well with the public, because quality simply can’t be faked.

[cheryls-blossomed]

Honestly, the continued disrespect to Iris West-Allen, The Flash’s black leading lady in the sixth season of the show, is absolutely appalling and unacceptable. Meanwhile, the network never fails to capitalize on Iris and Westallen’s popularity in order to gain buzz. (Remember how the entire promotion of Crisis on Earth-X was Westallen wedding, including their own promotional poster, despite how they were shafted in that crossover? Remember how the very first Elseworlds promo was Iris and Oliver, and the first full preview clip was of Barry freaking out over Oliver waking up with Iris, despite the fact that Iris was not even allowed to cross-over? Remember how Eric Wallace went on a whole press run when it was announced that we’ll see Iris in her natural curls in 6x05, even though she and Barry are relegated to the episode’s D-plot?) Showrunners constantly make false promises about her journalism, about The Central City Citizen, about Westallen, and about Iris’s POV being explored, because they are aware that that is what people want to hear, even though they have no intention of following through. They utilize Candice’s talent by giving Iris highly emotional scenes, but they don’t extent her POV outside of these isolated moments, nor do they have characters check up on her. I generally love the Broken Hero trope, but only where the character’s strength and resiliency, despite their trauma, is frequently acknowledged by other characters, so as to allow the character to also be vulnerable and have ample POV about what they’re going through. The application of the Broken Hero trope to Iris over the seasons has resulted in her being relegated to a strong black woman archetype time and again, and it’s utterly disappointing. 

In season 1, the three men whom she trusted most were lying to her. Her father infantilized her frequently. Eddie lied to her face, dismissed her journalistic endeavors, but then cold-shouldered her when she rightfully became angry with his lies. Barry, her best friend and the person she loved most in this world, chose not to tell her that he was the Flash for non-existent reasons which of course he couldn’t even articulate, and this naturally broke her heart when she found out.

Her promising journalism arc with her mentor, Mason Bridge, where they were poised to investigate Harrison Wells together and hopefully discover that he was really Eobard Thawne, was cut short, when Mason was unceremoniously killed off, and Iris’s investigations were handed off to Barry and Joe.

Iris had to put up a strong front for Barry and the Team in season 2 and was never allowed to really grieve Eddie onscreen. The only time we ever saw her have a moment to grieve is in 2x17, when Barry stops his entire mission to retrieve the video message for her. 

Iris again had to be strong for Joe, after she found out that he lied to her about her mother. She was given little to no time to process the fact that her mother was alive, but was dying, and Barry was the only person to ask her if she was okay, but even then, she is not given the chance to vocalize how hurt she is. 

Francine and Iris are given one scene, on Francince’s death bed, to reconcile. Nevermind that Francine abandoned Iris as a child or that Joe lied to Iris all these years about Francine or that Iris has had no time to get to know her mother, but nonetheless has to now say goodbye to her. And nobody comforted Iris during this time. Absolutely no one. She and Wally barely got moments to grieve Francine together.

In season 3, Iris had a death sentence hanging over her head for the better part of a year. She put aside her own fears and trauma in order to prevent Barry from going over the edge in his desperate attempts to save her and also to be strong for her father, who was becoming increasingly traumatized as the season progressed.

The writers even had Iris value Gorilla Grodd’s life over her own. Let me reiterate: the show had Iris tell Barry that her life wasn’t worth Barry compromising his humanity by killing a gorilla. The strong black woman trope is utterly dehumanizing. 

In the wake of Barry entering the speedforce, despite her grief and trauma, having just witnessed the joy of being alive with the love of her life stripped from her once again, Iris kept her promise to Barry and steps up to the mantle to help Team Flash. She bottled up her grief to be strong for the Team, before finally breaking down to a recently returned Barry before she gave herself up to the Samuroid to restore Barry’s mind.  

Despite Killer Frost being complicit in attempting to murder her just months ago, Iris was forced to advocate for Frost during her own bachelorette party.

Her wedding ceremony was interrupted by Nazis, but the only person to ask her if she was okay in the aftermath was her fiancé. Furthermore, no one, outside of Joe and Wally, who attended Barry and Iris’s wedding checked up on them, and instead Iris was relegated to having to comfort Felicity, who was having relationship drama.

We learned in 4x16 that Iris had PTSD from having had a death sentence hanging over her head, and she had quit her job at CCPN as a result. Her PTSD had not been explored at all up until that point. Meanwhile, Ralph was cruel towards Iris, taking out his own cowardice on her, while she was internally plagued with self-doubt. 

Iris attempted to reach out to Caitlin and expressed concern for her in 4x20, but Caitlin coolly dismissed her in Iris’s own home.

In season 5, because it’s totally fine to just put Iris through more trauma and strife for no reason, the writers constructed an arc where Nora was cold and rude to her mother, because of their fractured relationship in the future, a fact which traumatized Iris for a good chunk of the season.

In 5x05, Iris vocalized self-hatred (“I would hate me too”), because that’s how devastated she was over hers and Nora’s relationship. All she wanted to do was bond with her daughter, because Iris is such a sweet and caring person, and motherhood is something which came naturally to her. And yet, the show chose to put her through inordinate amounts of trauma over her motherhood. 

In 5x12, we find out that Nora’s anger towards her mother has warped some of her own memories completely, and the false memory only served to traumatize Iris further. The real memory was sweet and poignant, and just the fact that Iris went through all that trauma in the present for no real reason is absolutely disrespectful and appalling. 

Barry and Iris’s child disintegrated in their arms, but nobody except for Joe and Cecile offer them condolences and follows up to ask them how they are doing. While Iris is shown grieving Nora in 6x01, after that episode, we never see her linger on photos of Nora or be allowed to vocalize how her grief has now been magnified by the impending Crisis.

After Barry and Iris learned that Barry has to sacrifice himself, Iris was given one episode to come to terms with this, and we have not once seen her POV nor have we seen her struggle with her grief over losing Barry, her husband and the person whom she loves most, especially just months after she lost her daughter. 

Instead, the narrative diminished her importance in 6x04, and even had Ralph behave rudely and dismissively towards her. They had a character like Frost ask Iris is Ralph was going to be okay, but no one has a care in the world for Iris’s well-being. But she is always expected to be there for everyone and help everyone and run errands for everyone.

In an arc about Barry dying, Iris, the most important person in his life, has been sidelined and treated like an after-thought. She is now playing support to literal supporting characters. It’s beyond egregious. 

Furthermore, her journalism arc has been disrespected yet again. She hired Allegra, but Allegra’s entrance into the narrative was via Cecile. Iris and Allegra had little narrative space to build any sort of mentor and mentee relationship in 6x03 (because supporting characters’ side stories had to take precedence), and instead the show resorted to Allegra telling Iris off. We have yet to see Iris commanding her team at the Citizen, and her journalism arc was most prominent in 6x01, before we even saw her Team.

This is racist writing. This is misogynistic writing. This is absurdly disrespectful to Iris and to her fans, and this has been a tired pattern since season 1. I am sick of false promises; I am sick of being lied to. This is the sixth season, and to see Iris treated like this is infuriating beyond belief. Showrunners and the network capitalizing on Iris’s popularity and Candice’s talent for viewership is disingenuous and wrong, when it’s clear that the show continues to adamantly refuse to give Iris her due. Enough is enough.

[clownjail]

A Robot's Kokoro

A little gift for @minoux, even though her VN hasn't come out and I probably got all the characters personality wrong, I'm craving Iris content and so I had to do it myself 😤😤

Pairing(s): Iris x Asuka

Word Count: 1, 728

Trigger Warning: None!

The winter was always tough during this time of year, Asuka knew that more than anyone, working in the hospital had its fair share of ups and downs, there were times she couldn’t even leave her office till the next day. Though it was chaotic at times, she didn’t mind it, not like she had anything going on in her personal life...or she thought.

“Wait, what!? I don’t understand…” Asuka looked at the AI in front of her, astonished that she even brought it up, fully knowing the circumstances that is going on in her workplace. 

“What is not to understand? I want you to be at my next concert.” Iris calmly said. Asuka heaved a heavy sigh, she knew that Iris wasn’t asking for much, and if she really didn’t want to go she could always say no and Iris would understand but that was thing, she wanted to go. They hadn’t had a moment of peace together since the holiday season started, Asuka was booked with work and Iris had several concerts and meet ups that she was scheduled to go, and even if this moment of peace was filled with screaming eleven year old boys in the crowd, she really just wanted to spend time with her.  

But on the other hand, what will happen if she missed a day off work? The seniors there are pretty ruthless and would never let her hear the end of it, they would probably make her do even more work than she already has…

“While I’m flattered that you’re inviting me, I don’t have tickets to go, and besides my schedule is already packed” Asuka explained. Iris stared at her blankly, though her expression was hard to understand what she was thinking at times, Asuka trusted that Iris  understood what she was trying to say.

“Ah I see, I thought you would say that...ah yes, I still have it...” Iris mumbled under her breath,  as she was digging through her purse. Asuka raised her eyebrows at the sight, wondering what her AI girlfriend was doing. 

“Here you go, now you don’t have an excuse not to go” Iris said as she handed a VIP ticket to Asuka. Asuka stared at the VIP ticket in her hand, completely dumbfounded, and also a little bit flustered.

“H-how did you get this!? I thought they were all sold out already?” Asuka choked out, not knowing the right words or what to say, she never thought she would ever get the chance to touch -let alone see- a VIP ticket yet here it was, and it was for Iris concert nonetheless. Then again it could be the perks of dating an idol who knows their way around the industry. 

“Well it is my concert after all silly human” Asuka blushed at Iris accidental teasing, knowing full well it was a dumb question to ask. 

“But I still have to go to...wait, where are you going?!” Looking away from her VIP ticket for the first time, she saw Iris was already headed out the door but before she left, Iris turned her head around.

“I’ll see you in the concert then” 

And just like that, she gently closed the door, leaving poor Asuka alone dumbfounded and confused.

“What did I just get myself into..? Let’s just hope my boss will understand....”

~~~~

“This was definitely a mistake…” Asuka thought to herself bitterly, standing inside the backstage room. She somehow managed to convince her boss to give her the day off by pretending to be sick, but now that she was here, she couldn’t help but feel nervous. What if they somehow found out she was lying? What if the seniors at her workplace see her at the concert? They’ll probably never let her hear the end of it…

“Ah you came, I’m glad” Iris interrupted her thoughts, Asuka mentally thanked her for that. 

“Are you alright? You look quite squeamish” Iris asked, noting how nervous Asuka looked. Asuka flushed d at her comment, was she really that obvious? She hoped that Iris couldn’t tell what was wrong, she was a programmed AI so why would she? 

“I-im alright!! Really, you don’t need to baby me!” Asuka snapped out of embarrassment, Iris however didn’t seem to notice. Not taking the hint, Iris comes closer to her, the nose were basically touching each other, there was no leftover space between them.

“Are you sure? Your heart is beating faster than a normal human rate, and besides, your face is so red, that usually doesn’t happen unless they’re embarrassed or lying...are you lying to me?” 

“I-i…”  Asuka choked out, she was a stuttering mess, not knowing what to say. Iris blue dull eyes were staring right at her and Asuka didn’t know how to feel or what to do, all she could do is just stare at her and nod. 

“Iris your up!” Before Iris could say anything else, and before Asuka could die inside a bit more, her manager luckily swooped in before things could go further. Iris backed away and nodded at her manager, giving Asuka time to breath and comprehend what had just happened.

Before she left however, Iris walked up to Asuka, this time not as close, crouched down just a bit and gave her a sweet cold kiss on the cheek. After what happened Asuka was prepared for anything to happen but she will be lying if she said was anticipating a kiss on the cheek, maybe a hug but not that!

“W-what did you do that for dummy!!” Asuka snapped again in embarrassment, holding her cheek that Iris kissed, so that Iris couldn’t see she was blushing. 

“Hm is it not natural to kiss someone on the cheek for good luck,? I thought that was common among humans”

“Yeah but I kiss your cheek for good luck, not the other way around!!”

“I see, will then you care to kiss my cheek for good luck then?” 

“Iris you need to get going!” Her manager snapped, interrupting the banter between the two, Asuka was grateful for that. Iris nodded and out the door they went, leaving a very flustered Asuka by herself.

~~~

The concert was a big success to no one’s surprise, but even so Asuka was happy for her, and so she suggested they celebrate her success.

“I don’t know why we are here” Iris said.

“We are here to celebrate obviously!” Asuka replied happily, as she played with the cats.

“I didn’t know celebrating meant going to a cat cafe” Iris dryly replied, petting the numerous cats that were coming to her. Asuka rolled her eyes, there wasn’t a lot of places they could go without being spotted, besides going to a normal cafe, Asuka would imagine Iris would get bored of it since she can’t drink or eat so a cat cafe was the obvious best choice. Asuka could eat and drink as much as she likes and Iris can entertain herself with the kitties, a perfect solution.

Just as Asuka was going to say something, someone somehow noticed Iris, who was dressed in her everyday clothing, and one thing lead to another and now they were swamped in a crowd of fans. Asuka sighed, standing away from the crowd far as possible, as Iris waved and smiled, just her luck, the one moment of peace they had together privately was ruined.

“Asuka, is that you! Aren’t you supposed to be sick?!” In the crowd of screaming fanboys, there was one in particular that stood out from the rest and that just so happens to be her boss. All the colors of her skin, left her ghostly white as she saw him marching toward her, there was a thousands of excuses that popped up in her head yet not one of them stuck.

“Boss, what are you doing here!” Trying to switch the topic away from her, Asuka switched it back at him. Boss lowly growled at him, clearly amused with her silly attempts to save herself from a lecture and a possibly fired.

“Wait I can explain..!” 

“Sure you can, after I’m-”

“Is there a problem here sir?” Iris interrupted, successfully getting away from the crowd.

“This doesn’t  involve you lady, -oh my god it’s you! Iris, can I get your autograph! I’m so sorry for disrespecting you my queen, I’m so sorry! Please forgive me!” Asuka looked absolutely shocked at the man in front of her, was this really the same guy as her strict boss? Iris didn’t pay him any mind, and just kept nodding along, clearly not paying attention to his useless rambling.

“Thank you for your support and now if you excuse me, we have a date to continue and I hope in the future there will be no trouble” Asuka snapped her head at Iris direction, glaring at her, she just can’t be going around telling people about their relationship!

“..A-ah yes very well! Have a good day to both of you!!” Asuka could tell he was startled by her confession but didn’t bring it up. After he left, Asuka couldn’t mask her frustrations and continued to glare at Iris.

“Why do you look so upset?”

“Because maybe it has to do with you airing our relationship like that! You’re lucky the press wasn’t here but who knows if he was going to tell them and the people at my work will never let me hear the end of it-”

“It’s not like the press are going to believe him without some type of evidence. Besides the majority of the people you work with are old, so it’s not like they know who he’s talking about. They’ll probably think he’s delusional.” 

Asuka sighed, she knows she’s right but she couldn’t help but still jump to the worst case scenario.

“If that doesn’t stop them then I will take care of it, so don’t worry” Iris flashed a small smile at Asuka direction and then continued to play with the cats. Asuka rolled her eyes but didn’t push it any further, she had a gut feeling in mind that she didn’t want to know, what Iris meant by that.

“Whatever floats your boat Iris…”

“But I don’t have a boat to float on? Or is that another of your weird human ways of speaking?”

“No, it’s-, ah nevermind! Just eat your food...!"

"But-"

"Shut up!!"

[travllingbunny]

The 100: 6x10 Matryoshka

Yes, that last scene was one of the most emotional, powerful and beautiful scenes of the season and arguably the entire show. And we all have been talking about it, posting gifs and obsessing over it the whole week.

 I doubt that I have anything substantial to add about it that others have not already pointed out, from the fact that this was the first time Bellamy has actually said “I need you” to Clarke (she has told him “I need you” and “We need each other” a few times, but he has never expressed his feelings through words like that), without any qualifiers like “we all need you”, but only mentioning that he and Clarke’s daughter need her; to the ironic foreshadowing from 6x02, when Bellamy, under the eclipse psychosis, got into Clarke’s face and told her “Maybe you haven’t noticed, Clarke, but I don’t need you anymore”(of course, it was obvious that he was just protesting too much). I sometimes have mixed feelings about the phrase “the head and the heart”, because it has been overused and misinterpreted in the fandom, and has led to me oversimplifications of both Clarke’s and Bellamy’s character. But it was used beautifully in this scene. And yes, Bellamy’s CPR skills are crap and he seemed to be massaging Clarke’s belly instead of restarting her heart (while mouth on mouth actually doesn’t matter much compared to restarting the heart – it just looks good on TV) – but it wasn’t the CRP that brought Clarke back, anyway. It was hearing Bellamy’s voice in her mind, passionately telling her that he needs her and wouldn’t let her go, that he couldn’t lose her again, and that she’s a fighter and needs to fight.

If there still people arguing that Bellarke is not an epic romance, it must be incredibly difficult to argue that after Bellamy has actually brought Clarke back to life with his love. In 6x07, Clarke gave up and was going to let Josephine have her body while she dies, after Josephine had made her believe that Bellamy had given up on her and already moved on from her death. She changed her mind later, prompted by the part of her mind that is her moral compass and voice of reason, embodied by her mindspace version of Monty. But she really got strength to fight and defeat Josephine after hearing Bellamy’s voice and knowing that he needs her and has fought for her, and after he gave her strength with his voice. Proving that love is not a weakness – it can be an incredible strength.

However, I also enjoyed the scene of Josephine and Gabriel’s reunion and goodbye that happened right before the Bellamy/Clarke reunion, the scenes in Clarke’s mindspace – which I was so glad to return – and all the Clarke and Josephine’s interactions. And, of course, Bellamy coming to save the day (in a very similar way as he did when he saved the Delinquents from the Mount Weather guards in season 2), and the awkward hug between him and Octavia.

This entire storyline is great enough to put Matryoshka among my favorite episodes. But, to be objective, I can’t give it a perfect score, because the other storyline in the episode – taking place in Sanctum – while also good, wasn’t as great, and missed some chances.

The title of this episode is one of the The 100’s best ones. Russian nesting dolls are a pretty good analogy for the way that each new iteration of a Prime has, in their mind, memories of all the previous lives.

More thoughts under the cut...

I loved Clarke’s snark about how much Sanctum guards suck. Because, well, they really do. They have obviously never needed to fight a really dangerous enemy, as the Primes are used to having all their people brainwashed and docile, and their only real enemy before the Earth people arrived, the Children of Gabriel, are also rather incompetent. As Josephine pointed out, they have never managed to kill any of the Primes. They seem to have just killed a few of the potential hosts. The Primes have, in fact, been better at killing each other, since Kaylee killed Josephine, Josephine killed Kaylee, and then had the entire Lee family wiped. (This makes me wonder about the lifespans of the Primes in their previous hosts. It doesn’t seem that most of them lived to old age, going by how many of them there were over the course of 211 years, which begs the question what the causes of death were. Illness? More “accidents” like the one Josephine VII died in?)

Clarke and Josephine’s interactions in this episode were lots of fun and even featured some funny moments (a rarity on The 100), with Clarke snarking at Josephine a lot. Their relationship turned into more of a frenemy one, as they started to see some of their similarities and had some sort of almost-bonding… which, of course, was not going to last. That was obvious even when Josephine was trying to convince Bellamy that she and Clarke were friends – which he didn’t buy. Still, it was fun to see Clarke and Josie arguing like roommates or even sisters annoyed when one is leaving her things in the other’s room.

So much in this episode focused on the history between Josie and Gabriel, such as when she and Clarke were in the hatch where Josie used to come for “research” – and to have some fun with Gabriel. It reminds me of season 1, when Clarke used to go and research Earth, first with Finn, and later with Bellamy, as they found the depot with the weapons. But, unlike Gabriel and Josie. they never got to have a drink and other things together.

I like the way they continued to use drawings/books as embodiments of Clarke’s and Josephine’s memories, respectively, with the image of books lying around in heaps in Clarke’s side of the ship, as their minds started merging and Josephine’s memories spilled into Clarke’s mind. She didn’t need to go into Josie’s side of the mindspace to see glimpses of her memories, most of them from scenes we have already seen – such as that Dave guy killing himself right in front of her;  Russell killing her during the Red Sun eclipse; Josephine waking up in Brooke’s body; or scenes that had been referenced and that we were meant to see – Josephine convincing Tai and his wife to give up their baby son to be sacrificed to the gods, telling them that his spirit will be with the gods. This is a scene that was deleted from 6x07 (as confirmed on Twitter by the actress who played the mother), and I now I wish it had not been, since this subplot played such a big role in this episode, but  seeing a few seconds of it, at least, made up for it to an extent.

It’s interesting that the drawings on the walls of Clarke’s mindspace room have changed significantly since the last time we saw them, in 6x07. I noticed it as soon as Clarke woke up in her mindspace, because the wall right behind her bed was completely different and, most obviously, featured a huge drawing of season 5/6 Bellamy, to Madi in shock collar. (Not to be confused with another drawing of the same scene of Madi in shock collar, next to a drawing of a smiling Madi, which was and still is on the wall to the left of the door.) Another new drawing on the same wall is the season 4 scene of Jasper showing the Arkadians the list, and there are other drawings that have been moved around. After rewatching the episode, I noticed a lot of other differences as well. See the screenshots for comparison in this post.  

The fact they reworked the entire room for this episode suggests that the changing walls reflect the way that Clarke’s mind works - some memories are more prominent than others, or are brought back from her subconscious, and they also cluster in different ways. But the main reason the prop department made an effort to change the drawings was most likely because they wanted to focus on different images this time. So the scene of Clarke waking up immediately shows, most prominently, Bellamy next to Madi – which may mean that Clarke is now letting herself think of Bellamy more and in a different way, knowing he is trying so hard to save her and how much she means to him – unlike in 6x07, when she was scared to face him and afraid that he could never forgive her.

Another reason for the reworked walls is so Josephine and Clarke can focus on the drawing of Tondc after the bomb, which was already there in 6x07, but is now in a different place and larger, covering the entire wall opposite of Clarke’s bed. (More on that below.)

One of the reasons Josephine was such an effective villain is because she was a "shadow " character to Clarke, with both many similarities and sharp contrasts. Josie is, in many ways, what Clarke haters (in universe and in the fandom) say that Clarke is. The show seemed to purposefully play with the parallels between them, between the Lightbournes and the Griffins, while the Gabriel/Josephine relationship was played as a parallel and contrast to Bellamy/Clarke, especially throughout episodes 6x09 and 6x10, even down to the casting of all the actors who played the former two characters.

Episode 6x07 Nevermind was mostly focused on loss, grief and guilt. Clarke’s spirit was almost broken by her trauma and her guilt over the deaths she caused directly or indirectly, especially those of people close to her (e.g. blaming herself for Maya’s death and for Jasper’s downward spiral it caused), or even those she almost caused (Blodreina blaming her for the times she left Octavia to die, but also for her greatest regret, leaving Bellamy to die in Polis). We saw that her darkest place was about the trauma caused by the deaths of her lovers, Finn and Lexa, the primal traumas that Josephine referred to, and Clarke uncovered Josephine’s primal trauma, Dave’s suicide. While we don’t know for sure what previously happened between Josephine and Dave, the way those memories were paralleled made me think he was Josie’s Finn, so to speak. (If you don’t think that comparison is fitting, remember that Clarke rejected Finn once he made up his mind about her, that he turned into a stalker by season 2, did something terrible and basically caused his own death, which caused a lot of trauma to Clarke, and her first retreat into the “Love is weakness” mentality.)

But this time, Josephine’s memory that was focused one of her and Gabriel, which represents love and happiness for her. It is my second favorite scene of 6x10, and it isvery beautifully done, with the music and the cinematography giving it a dreamlike quality and conveying the romance between those two, which we hadn't seen much on screen even though it plays such an important role this season. (The choice of songs used on The 100 is always on point – and the song “Apocalypse” by Cigarettes After Sex is perfect for the show in general, and contributed a lot to making this scene what it was.) It felt romantic and dreamlike because it is Josephine's happy place and a memory she didn't want to give up - but we were also reminded of the disturbing aspects of it - through Gabriel’s obvious discomfort and guilt (he didn’t want to be brought back, but after having killed at least 46 people to bring Josie back, he couldn’t have held it against her that she did the same) and the fact that neither of them were in their original body - reminding us of the fact that many innocent people were murdered to make those 160 years of romance and happiness possible.

Josephine looked lost in her memory, which made Clarke look at her in a different way, seeing some humanity in her, as it is the first time Josephine showed genuine love for someone. Clarke easily empathizes with people and is usually inclined to see the good in them (though she had almost lost that ability, as we saw in Eden: “There are no good guys”.), so she saw something she could relate to - it's no coincidence that she went on to believe, for a moment, that Josephine could get a second chance to be better.

Josephine: I wasn’t always like this.

Clarke: Trust me, I know the feeling. I mean, look around you.

Clarke: We can let the bad things that happened to us define who we are, or we can define who we are.

The scene of Tondc are the bomb are an easy visual way to convey the destruction that Clarke ended up causing while trying to save people she cared about - but it’s also arguably the first morally bad choice she has made, and the first time she genuinely started doubting herself and losing her moral certainty. It was also her letting a bunch of strangers die (and putting Bellamy’s sister at risk, which he blamed her for during their confrontation in 3x05) mostly to protect Bellamy. (Lexa, who convinced Clarke to do it, justified it with strategic reasons, which were her motivation, and, of course, it was also, by extension, about making sure that the mission of saving Delinquents from Mount Weather continues. But, for Clarke, it was mostly about removing a threat to Bellamy.)  Is it meaningful that this is the bad memory Clarke brings Josephine’s attention to, right after seeing a memory of the romance between Gabriel and Josephine, which happened right after Josephine had brought Gabriel back, after he had brought her back - which meant murdering innocent people (two of the many) so the two of them could get their 160 years of happiness? Was Clarke thinking that maybe she could move on from the bad things like Tondc (and Mount Weather etc.) and do good in the future while also finding happiness, as Monty told them to?

And she was ready to extend that hope even to Josephine, someone she had previously seen killing babies and decided was so evil that she definitely needed to be stopped. For a moment, she thought Josephine could be stopped by some other way than destroying her.  Wrongly, as it turns out - Josephine was defined by bad things in her past, as the last thing she did was try to kill Clarke in the exact same way Russell had killed her 236 years before, even saying the same lines: “Sanctum is mine”. Selfish, immoral people can fall in love and have relatable feelings, but they are still selfish and immoral.

One could say that Josie did feel responsibility for “her people”, as her reason for not letting Clarke live was because she thought Clarke would kill everyone in Sanctum. But her “people” she cares about really only consist of 12 8 people. We know she never cared about the rest of the people in Sanctum and never saw hosts as anything but bodies to be used, black blood gene carriers as anything but breeding cattle, and nulls are useless and disposable, or even vermin to be exterminated. 

And no, Clarke would not kill everyone in Sanctum – not if there was any other way to save her people and stop the Primes. But people like Josephine are inclined to project and see the worst in other people.

Mindspace Clarke was in her season 5 gear this entire episode (unlike in 6x07, when she kept switching between looks from different periods of the show), but it’s interesting that she appeared as early season 5 Clarke, with pink streaks in her hair, when she fought Josephine in the end.

Eliza Taylor has really been knocking it out of the park all season, and she was fantastic again at the end of this episode – first playing Josephine in her reunion/goodbye with Gabriel, and later playing Clarke in her reunion with Bellamy. Chuku Modu was also excellent, and both of them did a great job convincing us that their characters have had a 236-long history, even though this was their first scene together. What made the ending even stronger was the parallel and contrast between Gabriel telling Josephine he still loved herm but that they had had their time, and he had to let her go; and Bellamy refusing to let Clarke go. Gabriel had to kill Josie, after having been the one to revive her the first time, while Bellamy brought Clarke back to life. The important thing there is that letting Josephine keep Clarke’s body – as Josie suggested to Gabriel, with her tempting suggestion that they use another life and then grow old and die together, taking out their mind drives - would have been morally wrong, while bringing Clarke back was the right thing to do. Gabriel had done a lot of bad things in the past – for over 160 years, he killed a lot of people to bring Josie back, he created the system of bodysnatching, and lived for a century as one of the Primes, before having his moral awakening. But better late than never. The look on his face as Clarke and Bellamy were hugging was a mix of many different feelings – he could easily relate to them, even though he had never met them before, and see the similarity with his determination to bring back the person he loved, and there was some sadness and maybe envy at seeing something he had but wouldn’t have anymore – but he also knew that, indeed, he and Josephine had had so much more time than regular people ever get, and should now let other people live and experience happiness.

It is nice to see Octavia acting like the old Octavia of season 2, with love and concern and happiness for her brother and for Clarke. But Bellamy’s awkwardness around his sister makes perfect sense, because he still doesn’t know anything about Octavia’s change of heart and personal growth, and she still hasn’t actually done anything to atone and show that she’s changed. He wasn’t willing to hug her back, but he did give her a little pat on the back, because he doesn’t really hate her, but you can’t just erase everything that happened between them.

Josephine is definitely dead now. As Gaia pointed out, the mind cannot be in two places at once. Just as there has been no copy of Clarke’s mind in the Flame, because she left it and Clarke’s mind has been in her own body since - Josephine stayed in the neural mesh instead of returning to the mind drive, so there can’t be a copy of her in the drive.

Meanwhile, in Sanctum…

Abby and Raven didn’t bring any reinforcements from the ship, because they had no idea about the things that have happened in Sanctum while they were away (Madi killing Miranda and attacking Delilah, Jordan’s injury, Russell arresting all the Earth people, Bellamy taking Josephine to CoG territory, or even the fact Clarke had been bodysnatched). They finally learned about Clarke’s “death”. Unfortunately, with the events happening so fast, we didn’t get to focus much on their reactions.

After reading the released script pages for the scene between the Earthkru in captivity,  I think that it was a big mistake to cut some of the lines – Miller’s and Raven’s exchange about Jordan, and Raven’s comment that she is sure Clarke will also be fine, because she has Bellamy to save her. Both of these would have gone a long way to show 1) that our protagonists do care about Jordan and are worried about him and 2) that Raven does care about Clarke, which a lot of the fandom is doubting this season.

Raven seems to have had some subtle character development – she’s not inclined to be mean and judgmental to people as she was in the first few episodes, but is taking a cue from Kane and trying to be gentler and more compassionate as she talks to Murphy about him screwing up and about the importance of morality. (Are many Arkers religious? The idea of avoiding hell by doing morally right things certainly sounds like a religious one.)

Why are some fans now dissing Abby for her anger at Murphy? Fans wanted to see Abby upset over Clarke’s death, and now we see it, that’s not good, either? When she learned about Murphy’s betrayal, Abby must have also realized that it was Josephine, not Clarke, who convinced her to go with the plan of the Primes and put Kane in another body, so she’s aware that Murphy helped Josephine manipulate her, pretending to be Clarke and saying she’s doing it all out of concern for her. Of course she’s furious.

Emori is again trying to defend Murphy, by presenting his actions in the best possible light, but not lying: “He was trying to protect us all. When he learned she was alive, he did the right thing… Eventually.”

One of the things I love the most about the Sanctum plot is this episode is that it showed that Russell is really the worst. I’ve hated him from 6x03, but many fans believed he would turn out to be not-such-a-bad-guy. He looks sad as he does bad things, but then he does them anyway, and justifies his actions, and while he may appear less ruthless than his wife or daughter, in the end, he is just a bigger hypocrite. He is a megalomaniac who thinks he is better than anyone else. And oh, God, could he be more hypocritical? Dude actually thinks he and the Primes are somehow morally superior to the Earth people, calls them criminals and think he is doing justice by burning them at the stake. Justice for what, exactly? Because they didn’t take revenge when Russell and his wife tried to murder and bodysnatched one of them? When he (as he believed) murdered Clarke, he thought “Sorry” was good enough, but when Madi, a child grieving for her mother, lashed out in revenge and killed one of the Primes (who can come back), this is a crime that he needs to get “justice” for by executing one of the people who had nothing to do with it? Then he decides to burn them all, because one of his own people killed Simone after learning the truth about them, realizing that he had let them take and kill his baby son? I guess, in his mind, no one except the Primes qualifies as real people? (And not even all the Primes matter. He doesn’t seem to care that his wife and daughter wiped four drives and murdered the Lee family for good.)

Unlike Russell, who was obviously never going to turn around and be a good guy, Ryker is a character torn between doing the right thing, and being loyal to his family or ‘family’. (Priya is his mother, but Russell and the others are also the only family he’s had for 200 years, after he arrived to Sanctum as a teenage boy.) Which makes him wishy washy (although for understandable reasons) and a character whose actions can’t be always predicted.

When Echo told him: ‘Echo and Ryker “Admit it, it feels good to be on the right side”, she may have been talking from her own experience. But I’d expect someone like Echo, an experienced spy / assassin, to be more suspicious and careful and not so trusting as she was with him.

It’s very fitting that Russell is burning people at the stake (just as Cadogan, another cult leader, did) – as this was the traditional method of execution of “heretics”.

The episode was very tense until the moment when we learned all the Earthkru were going to be burned. All the tension was gone - one character dying is something that seemed likely, but all of them? That was obviously not gonna happen.

But poor Tai did get burned. And Ryker must be feeling pretty guilty now – he initially caused Tai to turn against the Primes by telling him the truth about them, although he didn’t predict Tai would kill Simone; and then he stopped Echo from assassinating Russell, who went on to burn Tai at the stake.

Echo remarked that Gaia only cared about Madi, even after she had banished her. But the truth is slightly more complicated – as a Flamekeeper who deeply believes in the Grounder faith, she cares only about Madi as the Commander, but she is also ready to consider killing Madi, if it saves people from a Chaotic Evil Commander, Sheidheda 2.0 (who was apparently so bad that it would make people long for the days of Blodreina). The relationship between Commanders and their Flamekeepers is complicated, and we learn that Sheidheda murdered three of his Flamekeepers (so, two more after his mentor), until he was killed by the fourth one. But the whole thing begs the question, even more than before, why does anyone think that putting the Flame into people, especially children, is a good idea? The idea is to help new Commanders use the knowledge and wisdom of the previous ones – but that doesn’t really work if one of them is incredibly evil, does it? All this time, we have only seen the Flame do something helpful once, and that was in 5x12 when it helped Clarke deal with her emotional issues. Other than that, it doesn’t seem to have helped a lot (especially with the Grounders somehow forgetting all the technology, in spite of having Becca’s memories). Other than that, we know that the previous Commanders were against Lexa abandoning the “blood must have blood” policy, and were not the ones to stop Madi from killing all the prisoners of war in 5x13. So, is it really worth keeping it, when it presents such a huge danger?

This is why I like this Dark Madi storyline – it really shows the dangers of making a child Commander and letting them have too much power, which season 5 glossed over, because Madi ascending was a means to an end. Now, contrary to what some fans have been complaining about, no one who is currently on the planet, other than Madi and Gaia herself, actually cares but the Grounder religion or considers Madi their leader, Bellamy and Clarke even left her sleeping while they took the team with them to the planet. But the fact is that is there are hundreds of people sleeping on the ship - the Grounder part of Wonkru – who do take Madi’s authority seriously and would follow her. Gaia pointed that out – the danger of what could happen if Madi goes back to the ship and wakes up her sleeping army, while she’s being demon child controlled/influenced by the Dark Commander.

Let’s take another moment to appreciate the fact that Simone wasn’t against burning a child, but only against wasting a potential host. Russell may have had an objection on the grounds of her being a child, but considering the fact he was OK with sacrificing newborn babies, I’m pretty sure he also is mostly concerned about not wasting a good host until she comes of age. The Primes are the worst.

Murphy saved the day with his quick thinking, suggesting a way to make new hosts, in order to stop the execution and saved all their lives, while Raven again proved to be a great problem-solver by coming up with a way to isolate and delete Sheidheda from the Flame and save Madi, and used bone marrow extraction as an excuse. It was very lucky that Russell was either suspicious, or just being himself, when he refused to be the bone marrow donor to save his wife, instead ordering it extracted from Madi – which will be a great opportunity to fix the Sheidheda problem. No, the Primes should not be allowed to create new hosts, but this is clearly a temporary solution, to buy time. (And BTW, contrary to what some fans think, bone marrow extraction doesn’t necessarily mean torture and certainly not death, people donate bone marrow to save people’s lives in real life, and no, the doctors who do it are not evil or Mountain Men-like. Nor did, for that matter, Abby’s experiments to find a solution to save the human race in Becca’s lab in season 4. Fandom seems to forget that the Mountain Men were killing the Delinquents only because 1) they needed too much bone marrow, and 2) they were d1cks and didn’t give a damn about other people’s lives.)

Questions and speculation for the rest of the season

Among brief glimpses of Josephine’s memories we saw spilling into Clarke’s mindspace, the one we have have not seen before or heard referenced featured a guy reading a book. In the end credits, he is called “Adjustor”. This must have something to do with the “Adjustment Protocol” from the title of episode 6x12, whatever exactly that is. The Primes have mentioned that a certain period for adjustment is necessary after waking up in a new body.

Why did Rose ask Clarke “Are you here to take us home” in 6x02? Will long-running mystery get resolved by the end of this season, or is it something for season 7?

What happened with Diyoza in the Anomaly? Or with Octavia? I think we’ll get a hint about that in the finale, but it will be the big theme for season 7.

Will Sheidheda be defeated by the end of season 6? Will Madi keep the Flame? If the Sheidheda problem/Dark Madi storyline continues long enough for Bellamy and Clarke to come back and learn about it, I expect Bellamy to feel very guilty about the consequences of Madi taking the Flame that he had not foreseen. (He never really gave much thought to the Flame itself, he just saw it as a pragmatic means to defeat Blodreina ensure peace and save the people he loves, and I don’t think he seriously thought it posed much danger to Madi beyond the danger she was in from Blodreina.) Fans have complained that this issue has not been addressed between Clarke and Bellamy this season, while we have seen Clarke feel guilty and apologize to Bellamy for leaving him in Polis.

Just how brainwashed are the majority of people in Sanctum and how long will they continue like this? They were obviously uncomfortable watching Tai die at the stake. We’ve seen what happened when Ryker revealed the truth to Tai. Delilah’s parents were similarly shocked and unhappy. But I’m afraid it would be too optimistic to hope that they all turn against the Primes, which would make the resolution way too easy, as there are currently just three active Sanctum Primes – Russell, Priya and Ryker. Gavin’s widow, for instance, is still fully loyal to the Primes, but she seems convinced that they are gods and that hosts get to be “one with the Primes”, rather than deleted from existence.

I’m sure Jordan will recover, but will he continue defending Priya, hoping to get Delilah back, or will he soon realize it is impossible, and what will his reaction be then?

(SPOILER) The synopsis for 6x12 mentions a “special Naming Day”. I like the idea that this will be the official ceremony for Josephine VIII – because it’s now time for Clarke to pretend that she is Josephine, just as Josephine pretended to be Clarke in order to fool the Primes and their loyalists, for a while. Clarke has a huge advantage there, as she’s gotten to know Josephine quite well.

Rating: 10/10

[mlp-rants-concerns]

No Second Prances Review

I know I’m about 2 years late but I need to get this episode off my chest. This episode was the worst episode of Season 6 with To Where And Back Again and Every Little Thing She Does not too far behind. I went in with low expectations and that’s exactly what I got. This was the episode that made me not like Starlight to this day. But first here are some things I noticed and or were positive/interesting then I’m going to talk about the Mane 3.

Pro’s

Pinkie Pie actually got a speaking role and it was more than one line, considering the fact the other two episodes with Trixie she hardly talked.

New backgrounder a in Ponyville

Spike interestingly not being present

Character Continuity

Twilight did nothing wrong and was completely justified in her actions and ended up being right

Con’s

Trixie

As soon as I saw the preview for the episode I knew I was gonna dislike this episode. Once again Trixie shows up trying to get back at Twilight for something that wasn’t her fault but Trixie’s because her biggest secret is that she was jealous of Twilight...What. A. Shocker. So Trixie makes friends with Starlight to ultimately get back at Twilight and beating her at something. One line I want to point out is this:

Trixie: Everypony always says they'll give you a second chance, but deep down, they never forget.

I mean you were the cause of that Ursa Minor that nearly destroyed Ponyville because of your boasting and you became a dictator and enslaved Ponyville and forced the citizens into manual labor. What did you think was going to happen...nearly every villain whose been redeemed has went through this in the series/movies and honestly only a few have managed to move past their mistakes completely (Luna, Discord, and Sunset) so that’s not uncommon. What Trixie needs to do is own up her mistakes and actually sincerely apologize to Twilight without having an ulterior motive but...let’s be honest that’s not happening anytime soon.

Starlight

Yes, I understand that Starlight is still going through her phase of trying to let her past go...oh wait she still hasn’t let her past go nevermind. Most of the lines she said are so contradictory with her actions in the episode that it makes her unbearable to watch and not like able...

1. Starlight’s worries about ponies in Ponyville finding out about her past...you only affected the Mane 6 and Spike and the ponies of YOUR VILLIAGE. She should’ve been worried if her old village would accept her after what she did...Oh Wait. Nevermind. That’s an insult to Luna and Sunset who actually had to deal with criticism from others.

2. Starlight getting upset about Twilight not trusting her to make her own friends: Twilight knows Trixie, Starlight doesn’t. Twilight has clashed and been a victim of Trixie before and Starlight doesn’t know about any of that. Even Trixie admitted to Starlight that she wasn’t nice and Twilight was right. If Twilight didn’t know what she was talking about she wouldn’t have said anything or was looking out for Starlight and what happened: Starlight ended up getting played and cried and ran off so that’s your fault.

3. When It Comes To Magic I Don’t Make Mistakes except for the time where I brainwashed my villiage so that cutie marks are evil so that I can force friendships and nearly destroying Equestria multiple times in a time loop and NOW I’M INSECURE ABOUT MY ACTIONS TO THE POINT WHERE I CAN’T MAKE A FRIEND IN THE FRIENDLIEST TOWN IN EQUESTRIA

4. “Nopony else in Ponyville wanted to be my friend”...If the writers expect me to feel sorry for this ⬆️ they have very low expectations. Starlight didn’t even TRY to make a friend with any of the ponies she passed by on the way to the spa. She didn’t even make friends with any of the Mane 5’s suggestions...except Angel but he’s Angel so. This line is bullshit. You can’t expect someone to feel sorry for you if you don’t put in effort like Sunset did. Yes she got rejected multiple times but she made an effort to do so on their own.

5. “I’m so glad we don’t have to go to that boring dinner” And with that line, Starlight Glimmer lost all my respect as a character. Let’s remember that Twilight planned that dinner for her to showcase how well Starlight’s been doing. Twilight didn’t have to do that for her. Twilight didn’t have to give her a second chance. Twilight could’ve sent Starlight’s ass to Tartarus or some shit but she didn’t, she let Starlight into her home, made her a student of her teachings, and Starlight says that shit. That was straight disrespectful. And she left Celestia, the ruler of all of Equestria waiting at the table. Starlight’s either bold or dumb as fuck for that one. She deserved to get what came to her for that.

After the episode aired, Starlight was official my least favorite character in the G4 franchise with Trixie at second worst.

Overall the episode gets a 1/10 that 1 being the good things I mentioned and Twilight.

[hollyethecurious]

Dark Hook Comes to Stroybrooke - Chapter One

A Captain Swan, Season 1 Canon Divergence Collaboration by: @hollyethecurious, and @winterbaby89 

Beta’d by: @ilovemesomekillianjones / Artwork by: @xhookswenchx

Rated M for language and dark themes (and maybe some sexy times… later ;o)

Summary: Moments before the Evil Queen’s Dark Curse whisks our beloved fairytale characters to Storybrooke, Captain Hook finally gets his revenge on the Crocodile. Twenty-eight years later, Killian Jones awakes in Storybrooke expecting just another ordinary day, that is until a number of abnormal occurrences disrupts his otherwise scheduled life. The greatest of which is a new face in town. A young woman by the name of Emma. Emma. What a lovely name...

Disclaimer: Canon dialogue and scenes from various episodes will appear within this fic. To Adam, Eddie, and the OUAT writers goes all the credit.

Line breaks indicate a change in POV or scene

Also available on ao3, winterbaby89′s fic page, and my fics page

Prologue

Chapter 1

Twenty-Eight years later...

The incessant beep of the alarm was finally quieted by his outstretched hand. He wasn’t even sure why he bothered to set the infernal thing. He’d risen with the sun for… well, for as long as he could remember; a habit he’s never understood, nor been able to break.

Killian Jones crawled out of his overly large king sized bed and started his morning routine. The same routine he’d done every morning since… well, nevermind.

While showering he mentally ran through his daily itinerary; who to visit for rent money, who to visit to threaten about past due rent, which threats to make good on, and what supplies he would need to collect to continue work on his one true love, his ship the Jewel.

As one of the largest landowners in town, with approximately half of Storybrooke’s deeds in his name, just about everyone in town had dealings with Mr. Jones. Some more amicable than others. But being the town landlord, amongst other, less savory, occupations took its toll, so in an effort to balance the stress of day-to-day life, Killian made time for one gratifying outlet, as well as one vice.

Restoring the old mid century brig in the harbor was Killian’s one true passion, while his free supply of top shelf rum from The Rabbit Hole's proprietor was his solace.

Drying off after his shower, Killian subconsciously rubbed his right forearm with the niggling feeling that something was missing. Putting the strange thought from his mind, what could possibly be missing, he dressed and vacated his expansive home. Some in town referred to it as the Jones Manor, as it exceeded even Mayor Mills’ mansion in style and grandeur.

It was a fine day. The late October weather had just begun to turn a bit too crisp, but still offered that pleasant cozy autumn feel, so he opted to make his way on foot to his first stop of the day - Granny’s. Always Granny’s. Everyday, without fail, Killian found himself on that familiar path to the local diner. Sometimes for business, but mostly for coffee, and to make his presence known to the townsfolk that he’d started his daily rounds. This morning was no different than any other.

In fact, most mornings were no different, he mused briefly. The same house, the same ocean, the same walk from the private bluff his home, and one other house, which currently stood vacant occupied, the same people, the same activities. Everything was much the same from one day to the next, which was probably what made the sight of the Mills lad peddling like mad down Main Street stick out in such sharp contrast to everything else occurring around Killian.

The lad must have missed the bus, Killian reasoned. Strange. It’s not like Henry to be running late for school. I’ll have to remember to ask him about it later when we meet at the Jewel.

Henry Mills.

The one bright spot in Killian’s otherwise dark and lonely existence. A good lad, despite his insufferable mother’s upbringing, and one that Killian had taken quite a shine to the moment he’d caught him on the Jewel all those years ago. The lad had been what, seven, eight at the time? Hard to remember…

Henry was quite possibly the only person who ever sought out Killian’s company, and didn’t seem the least bit put off by the salty, old, sea dog’s moods or reputation. To be fair, Killian wasn’t sure just how much the lad was privy to when it came to his dealings around town. Nevertheless, something about Henry Mills had immediately endeared itself to Killian and he now found himself with a ten-year-old sized shadow following him about each day as he imparted all manner of sailing and other knowledge to the lad.

The hours spent with Henry were the best of Killian’s day, but they always came with a price. For inevitably it would be time for the lad to say his good-byes, and once again Killian would find himself alone, with only his demons to keep him company. This was usually about the time he’d make his way to The Rabbit Hole and attempt to drown said demons with a bottle of rum - the aforementioned vice.

Everyday. Always the same.

Except today it seemed. For not only had Henry apparently missed the bus to school, but he didn’t join Killian on the Jewel afterward.

If it didn’t mean that he’d have to actually engage with the boy’s mother, Mayor Regina Mills, Killian would have called to check up on the lad. However, he was rather certain that Regina had no idea where her son spent his afternoons, outside of the odd therapy session with Dr. Hopper, and Killian did not want to expose their meetings; both to protect Henry, and, more selfishly, prevent the loss of the boy’s camaraderie.

Though he was anxious something dire might have happened to prevent the boy from seeking their standing afternoon engagement, Killian was more tormented by the thought that Henry had opted not to come of his own accord. Killian would be lying if he said the thought hadn’t occurred to him that one day Henry would learn the truth of just who Killian Jones was - unsavory and corrupt landowner, emotionally bankrupt shell of a man, ruthless scoundrel, and would wish nothing more to do with him.

Henry had once jokingly called Killian a pirate, fixating on the more romanticized and white-washed aspects of such characters, but Killian knew he’d done his fair share of pillaging and plundering in this god-forsaken town to earn him just such a moniker - or worse.

It was with that trepidation - Henry’s absence that day might be because the lad had finally come to his senses about the company he keeps - that Killian found himself once again in the corner booth of The Rabbit Hole, nursing his bottle of rum with a new demon added to the haunting. As Killian contemplated this new demon added to the fold, he realized there were a number of new and strange occurrences that day, other than just the additional specter. Henry missing the bus and peddling down Main Street. Henry missing their afternoon lesson. And that flash of yellow he’d caught out of the corner of his eye as he’d turned towards The Hole, a flash of yellow that had disappeared when he’d looked back to see whose car it was. He can’t remember ever seeing a vehicle of that shade before.

These notions were still plaguing him the next morning as he made his way to Granny’s once again, with new thoughts to add to his musings.

Parking his motorcycle out front, Killian made his way into the diner for a quick breakfast. The Sheriff had contacted him first thing that morning about the damage to the town sign, a ‘gift’ he’d donated to the town long ago. After his meal, he planned to meet Marco, Storybrooke’s handyman, out there, to discuss the repair costs. It seemed, however, that fortune would save him that trek out to the town line, as the man in question was currently conversing with the town shrink in one of the diner’s booths.

Killian approached the pair, but then hesitated as he heard Henry’s name mentioned.

“I saw him late last night. He said he’d been on a field trip and forgot to tell me, but I know that isn’t true… then there was that strange woman with him. Henry said she was-”

“Can we help you, Mr. Jones?” Marco interrupted, cutting off his friend’s concern about the boy.

No matter, though. The lad was safe, and that was all that mattered to Killian. Whether he’d been honest about the field trip or not, Killian was bolstered by the fact that it hadn’t just been him that Henry had avoided yesterday. Whatever was going on with the lad didn’t seem to have anything to do with Killian personally, and he was sure he’d get the full story from Henry later that day, now that he knew the lad wasn’t avoiding him.

“Aye, Marco,” Killian answered as he pulled up a seat to join the men - much to their dismay. “The Sheriff phoned me this morning about the accident at the town sign. Have you been out to survey the damage yet this morning?”

“Not yet, Mr. Jones,” the old man answered nervously. “I was heading out there just after breakfast. You’ll be joining me, I assume?”

“I’m a busy man, Marco. I’ve no time for these trivial matters, so let’s you and I come to an agreement here and now, shall we?” He posed the question, though he did not wait for the man’s agreement before he continued. “I will pay cost for all the supplies and materials, and my usual flat rate for the labor. I expect the work to be done by week’s end or a twenty percent discount will be applied to the final bill. Do we have a deal?” For some reason that last word made Killian cringe internally. It always had.

“W-week’s end?” Marco stammered incredulously. “Mr. Jones, sir, I cannot possibly have the sign fixed by-”

“Oh, I have faith in you Marco,” Killian offered in mocked support. “It’s either that, or I amend the lease agreement that’s about to come due on your shop. What do you say? Ten, fifteen percent increase in rent?”

“Now, Mr. Jones, be reasonable,” Dr. Hopper interjected.

“I don’t think this concerns you, mate,” Killian countered darkly. “But if you’d like to talk about the terms of your particular lease agreement, I’m only too happy to oblige.”

The men sat silent before him, bested and helpless against such power and authority.

Killian offered them an empty smile as he stood and took his leave. “Pleasure as always, mates,” he called out over his shoulder exiting the diner. The thought of breakfast was long forgotten as he started his motorcycle and headed towards the docks.

Just as he rounded the corner from Main Street to the road leading to the marina, that flash of yellow caught his periphery once more. A yellow Volkswagen was parked in the city impound lot. A yellow Volkswagen that Killian was sure did not belong to anyone residing within Storybrooke. Curious.

Hours later Killian still couldn’t shake off the unease and… something else he couldn’t quite put his finger on, regarding all the strange occurrences that had happened the past two days. Henry had once again failed to join him on the Jewel, and Killian had resolved to seek out the lad to try and ascertain just what the blazes was going on.

A man could only take so many disruptions to his otherwise orderly existence, after all.

Killian had just crested the berm that overlooked Henry’s castle when he saw the lad heading off in the opposite direction with someone. A blonde someone. A female, blonde someone, as a matter of fact.

His brow twitched toward his hairline as he wondered who the woman might be. Even as he mentally thumbed through his mind’s rolodex of every blonde lass in town, he knew none quite matched the figure retreating in the distance.

An unexpected conflict rose within Killian. If he didn’t know himself better he’d almost call it jealousy. He supposed he ought to be glad the boy had another person in this world that cared for him - if the stranger’s arm draped over the lad’s shoulders held any indication of such a regard. Though he couldn’t help but feel a bit slighted that whatever Henry was facing, he hadn’t chosen to confide in him. Unwilling to examine those feelings any further than he already had, or at all, he decided it was the perfect time to call it a day and find his booth in the dark corner of The Rabbit Hole, with a bottle or two to keep him company, and the demons at bay.

Emma watched as Henry ran past Regina, going inside and disappearing upstairs.

“He seems to have taken quite a shine to you,” Regina said, with a vapid smile and an insincere air of civility.

“You know what’s kind of crazy?” Emma began, overwhelmed by the events of the last twenty-four hours, and trying to make sense of this curve ball life had thrown her way. “Yesterday was my birthday, and when I blew out the candle on this cupcake I bought myself, I actually made a wish. I wished I didn’t have to be alone on my birthday. And then, Henry showed up.” Emma stuck her hands in her back pockets and settled back onto her heels, as she continued to ponder the coincidence of Henry’s timing.

“I hope there’s no misunderstanding here,” Regina commented, pulling Emma from her thoughts.

“I’m sorry?”

“Don’t mistake all this as an invitation back into his life.”

“Oh…”

“Miss Swan, you made a decision ten years ago. And in the last decade, while you’ve been… well, who knows what you’ve been doing.”

Regina’s thinly veiled speculation and disapproval caused Emma’s brows to shoot up in offense.

“I’ve changed every diaper. Soothed every fever. Endured every tantrum. You may have given birth to him, but he is my son.”

“I wasn’t…”

“No!” Regina interrupted harshly. “You don’t get to speak. You don’t get to do anything. You gave up that right when you tossed him away. Do you know what a closed adoption is? It’s what you asked for. You have no legal right to Henry and you’re going to be held to that. So, I suggest you get in your car, and you leave this town. Because if you don’t, I will destroy you if it is the last thing I do. Goodbye, Miss Swan.” Turning on her stilettoed heel, Regina headed back to the house, but Emma called after her before she managed to shut the door.

“Do you love him?”

“Excuse me?” Regina looked up with a sneer on her perfectly painted face.

“Henry. Do you love him?”

“Of course I love him.”

Emma Swan hadn't been given much in her life, but one thing she'd come to rely on was her gift of sensing when someone was lying to her. She called it her superpower and although it wasn’t pinging per se, something about this entire interaction, hell, this entire town, just wasn’t sitting right with her. With Regina all but shutting the door in her face, effectively ending their conversation, Emma got back in the bug and pulled away from the curb.

Oh great, a headache, I’m too sober for this shit, she thought sardonically as she tried to remember the way back to the one bar she’d seen in town.

As Emma was driving down Main Street, she took in the names of a few of the businesses she passed on her way to the bar. “Game of Thorns, Dark Star Pharmacy, Any Given Sundae, where in hell have I landed myself?” she muttered. Finally, reaching her destination, she looked up at the decrepit sign attached to the side of the building, “The Rabbit Hole, seriously? Well, this town does seem to be on drugs, why not shrooms, too?” Parking her bug in the lot out back Emma decided to go in and see about that drink.

Upon first glance the place was dark and kind of dank. With a rowdy group near the pool tables, she made a beeline for the far end of the bar, to a corner slightly more shadowed than the rest. Thankfully she wasn’t even completely situated on her barstool before the bartender was asking her, “What’s your poison sweetheart?”

“Rum, straight up, make it a double.”

“Oooh, the lady knows what she likes… I like it.”

“Not interested Romeo, just pour the drink, or I’ll get it myself.”

“Feisty. Well, if I can do you for anything else sweetheart, just yell for me. Name’s Will.”

Seated in the far corner of the bar, Killian nursed his nightly rum. He sat in the same booth as always, the one with the burnt out bulb that never seemed to get replaced, but Killian didn’t mind, he found solace in the rum and darkness.

He’d been brooding in his seat for the better part of an hour when the door swung open admitting what could only be an angel; at least, that’s what the more fanciful part of his brain perceived as the setting sun illuminated an almost ethereal glow around her golden tresses and continued the aura down the length of her lithe body. Curiosity piqued, he watched as the beautiful blonde walked in and situated herself on the barstool closest to his booth.

Killian was certain he had never seen her before, certain he could never forget a woman that beautiful. But, nobody comes to Storybrooke, ever. Who is this woman and what has brought her here to me? To me? What the bloody hell has gotten into me? Killian continued to study her over the rim of his glass as she sat and ordered a rum, not taking any of Will’s shite, and giving it right back as good as she got. Smirking to himself, Killian decided he just might like this tough lass.

Emma nursed her rum while thinking about everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours, from Henry finding her in Boston, to the car ride back to Storybrooke, Maine. I mean Storybrooke, come on… When her mind landed on Regina and her threats, the subtle, and not so subtle, Emma slammed back the rest of her drink and signaled Will, the smart ass bartender, for another. When he brought her the next round he had the decency to keep the innuendo to himself.

So absorbed in her mental back and forth about what would be best for Henry - should she stay, should she go - Emma didn’t realize someone had slid onto the barstool next to her, until they cleared their throat. Startled, she looked up and was overcome by the man before her, in a word, Emma was fuckstruck. Who knew that was an actual thing? she mused, this man is gorgeous.

“Didn’t mean to intrude love, but did I happen to see you with the Mill’s lad on the beach earlier?”

Fuck me, an accent too? Wait… what’s he want with Henry? “Possibly. Why would it be any concern of yours?” As she asked, she sized up the stranger next to her, who seemed a touch too interested in Henry for her comfort. He was the gorgeous, dark, and brooding type, all leather clad with charms on a chain around his neck. Is that an anchor, and a compass? A couple of rings adorned the fingers of both hands, with a notably vacant left ring finger... How is this man single? Guyliner? He really is going for the bad boy persona isn’t he, and... it works for him… get it together, Emma. As she finished her assessment of her tall, dark, and accented bar fellow her eyes made their way back to his face, noting the lifted eyebrow, and unrestrained smirk.

“I’m sorry. What?”

“Something pique your interest there, lass?”

Emma rolled her eyes at his attempted flirting.

“As I said. Henry’s a good lad, and he’s been having a rough go of it lately. I’ve been concerned about him.”

“And how does someone like…” Emma waved the hand unoccupied by her current drink up and down to encompass his person, “you, know Henry?”

“Small town lass, everyone knows everyone, yet, I don’t know you,” the man stated with a teasing quirk of his brow.

Emma smirked at his response, and the ploy to get her name. “That’s because I’m not from around here. Actually, I’m Henry’s birth mom.” Slightly uncomfortable at her unexpected admission to this handsome stranger, Emma decided it was a good idea to gulp down about half of her still mostly full drink.  Why did I tell him that?

“Ah. I see. I take it the boy found you, and persuaded you to come here?”    Killian pressed, even as he tried to hide his astonishment that the boy had actually taken his advice on the matter.

Knowing how miserable Henry had been recently, working himself up into believing that his entire life was the result of some sort of curse, Killian had suggested learning more about his beginnings, as it might offer him some solace. Good advice it seemed, if the evidence of such a lovely creature before him was any indication.

“Something like that. I just brought him back, it’s not like I’m staying.”

“Now that is a shame…”

“Really? You’ve known me all of two minutes, how do you know that Henry isn’t better off with me gone?”

“Because love, I’ve seen his upbringing thus far, and it leaves much to be desired.”

The lass’s face crumpled at that revelation. “I had hoped when I gave him up he’d have a great life,” she confessed in a despondent tone.

“Well, you’re here now, what say you? A toast? To Henry, and giving the lad his best chance?”

Emma was taken aback by his choice of words. Hearing her justification parroted back to her by a stranger, had her reeling as she heard him continue, “I’m happy the lad has another person in town in his corner.”

“Who says I’m staying?” Emma bit out somewhat harshly.

He just gave her a knowing smirk, “If you weren’t you’d have left by now.”

Emma crossed her arms defensively over her chest as she retorted, “Oh, really? You think you know me so well?”

“Well, love. You are something of an open book.”

“Ugh. If I never hear another word about books it’ll be too soon.”

“Oh? Would you be referring to the lad’s story book then… and the curse?”

Emma looked back at him with a critical eye and wondered who Henry believed this cursed man really was.

Wait, no, there isn’t a curse. “You really don’t seem cursed to me.”

“Well love, you’ve only known me a few minutes, give it some time, and you’ll probably change your mind.”

“I can tell you what cursed is,” she muttered with a hint of self-depreciation and loneliness in her voice.

“Not having someone.” She heard him say.

Emma’s eyes snapped to his and she saw a spark of recognition at the loneliness she had been attempting to tamp down ever since she blew out that stupid birthday candle.

“That’s the worst curse of all, isn’t it?” he finished, and the look that broke across her face must have cemented to him that he’d hit his mark with his words as he offered her an empathetic smile.

She gaped at him realizing just how painfully accurate that statement truly was. That realization made her think that this could be her chance to finally have someone want her, Henry came looking for her after all. They both sat there for a moment, introspectively, before Emma finally spoke, “Can I get you another drink Mr.?”

“Where are my manners? We haven’t been formally introduced. Jones. Killian Jones,” he offered, hand extended before him, which she accepted as she replied.

“Swan. Emma Swan.”

Killian felt his grip tighten slightly around her hand as something inside him shifted, and without coherent thought as to why, he heard himself declare, “Emma. What a lovely name,” even as visions overtook him. Visions that told of another life - his life - and brought forth a surge of panic that he quickly tried to squelch as Emma looked for Will to order them another round.

“Actually, love, I’m afraid I must decline,” he said, hastily leaving his seat.

“Everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine,” he assured quickly, not wishing to appear as if anything was amiss. “I’ve just remembered… something, and I want to see to it before I forget again.”

“Alright, well… see you around, Jones.” She flashed him a smile that confirmed her decision to stick around for a while.

“Aye. Welcome to Storybrooke, love.” Killian managed to offer the sentiment with a reasonable amount of genuineness before he exited the bar, but as he met the brisk night air panic enveloped him once more. Attempting to calm his racing pulse and labored breathing, Killian looked up into the night sky and noticed an astonishing sight.

It now read 8:16 on the clock tower.

Chapter Two

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[morningsidebookshop]

The 5 best books by Stephen King

Stephen King, one of the masters of American horror fiction, has an oeuvre of close to 100 books. Of these, we will highlight the five best books which include some of the most genre-defining, best-selling titles in all of literature. 

From nightmare clowns to pussycats rising from the grave, Stephen King has captivated readers with his penchant for imaginative yet believable plots, colourful and three-dimensional characters, and images that sear into the minds and leave our psyches shell-shocked. From his first novel, Carrie, way back in 1974, he has consistently found ways to unnerve us while still practically forcing us to turn the page.

Here are Stephen King’s 5 best books of all time. We chose them because they best represent Stephen King’s body of work in that they are terrifying, page-turning, other-worldly, horror gems.

Book number 1 in our top 5; Misery

Thanks in part to Kathy Bates’s Oscar-winning turn as Annie Wilkes in Rob Reiner’s 1990 film adaptation, Misery is easily one of King’s best-known and most widely read stories. 

Novelist Paul Sheldon suffers a car accident on a snowy road, and is rescued by a former nurse named Annie Wilkes, who just happens to be the absolute biggest fan of Sheldon’s romance novels. Unfortunately for Annie, Paul has grown bored of his protagonist Misery Chastain, and has killed her off in the most recent book.

Unfortunately for Paul, Annie doesn’t care for that ending. She will do everything in her power to make sure Paul writes a better one. Originally intended as a Bachman book, Misery finds Stephen King unpacking toxic fandom decades before Twitter would allow Annie Wilkes the world over to vent their frustrations around the clock. Stephen King has since said that Misery is not just about the expectations of his fans, but about cocaine’s hold over him throughout much of the ‘80s.

Our conclusion on Misery

The novel is perhaps the best example of Stephen King’s ability to ratchet up the tension with nary a ghost or goblin insight, as Wilkes proves plenty terrifying in her all-too-human form. If you thought Jack Nicholson hefted the most iconic ax in Stephen King’s history, you haven’t read Misery yet.

Salem’s Lot as our number 2

Carrie was an unexpected start, but Stephen King’s second published novel best forecasted what to expect from the horror genre’s most outstanding author.

Salem’s Lot brought the vampire myth into the backyards of semi-rural Americans. And it found Stephen King at his most ruthless with the characters in this book. Amusingly, the novel also features the first of King’s many writer protagonists. Stephen King sold Salem’s Lot for notable sum by today’s standards, nevermind the mid-70’s. And this streak continues; last year’s The Outsider even touches upon some of the same themes, to chilling effect. 

The third on our list is The Shining

For most modern readers, the movie adaptation of The Shining by legendary director Stanley Kubrick looms large over Stephen King’s original novel. Nearly all of the moments lodged in the public consciousness are only in the film: the elevator of blood, the ghoulish twin girls in the hallway, the typewriter and the iconic;

“Here’s Johnny!” 

Pushing past these iconic bits of pop culture reveals one of King’s greatest accomplishments, a hauntingly compelling story of a troubled man’s descent into madness. 

Stephen King’s novel is more sympathetic than the movie toward Jack Torrance, a recovering-alcoholic writer. He tries to improve his family’s life by taking a job as a caretaker of a remote off-season resort with a barely concealed violent history.   The house wants Danny, Jack’s gifted young son, and puts the Torrance family through hell to get to him. King infamously hates Kubrick’s adaptation. And though it’s hard to debate the film’s quality or place in the horror movie pantheon, the novel is the more nuanced and, arguably, more disturbing version of the story. 

Our fourth position in the list of best books by Stephen King is IT (1986) 

Of all the Stephen King books revolving around plucky kids, these might be the pluckiest, most iconic, and possibly the most annoying. The protagonists are a collection of fairly broad stereotypes. There is the geek, the fat kid, the sickly kid, “the girl,” just to name a few. They are painted in an all-encompassing pastiche of ’50s American life, but in the end, Stephen King remains, as always, obsessed with the turbulent years of early adolescence.

The titular “IT,” on the other hand, is probably King’s most enduring and iconic monster. An interdimensional being of pure malevolence and alien mindset that seems so much simpler on the surface. An evil clown that kills kids? That could at least be dealt with in ways accessible to adults.

Fighting the actual evil of It is a much trickier proposition, one that depends upon a perfect blend of mysticism and childhood faith necessary to overcome Its greatest weapons: fear and entropy, and the ability to make an entire town forget about the atrocities it commits and allows. 

The ending of It is occasionally cited as its weak point, but it’s a big, fat novel that is far more about a journey, both in the ’50s and ’80s, and the horrifying visions suffered along the way.

Last but not least of the best of Stephen King; The Stand

Stephen King’s magnum opus nearly didn’t make Paste’s Best Horror Novels of All Time countdown. It is said to fit more neatly into the post-apocalyptic fiction or fantasy genre.

At over 800 pages (more, if you are reading the uncut edition), The Stand includes as much horror as any of Stephen King’s other novels. Spurred by a viral outbreak that kills off 99.4% of the population. Apocalyptic scenarios were on everyone’s minds in the ’70s and ’80s, as global tensions escalated and means of mass destruction proliferated. 

Stephen King isn’t content to simply explore a post-pandemic wasteland, though; The Stand is his most epic standoff between good and evil. The latter concept embodied by Randall Flagg, a recurring antagonist of Stephen King’s. Randall Flagg later becomes essential to King’s Dark Tower saga.

Knowledge of that series isn’t necessary to undertake The Stand. All you need is only a month or so of dedicated reading, and a hearty resistance to nightmares.  If you like our list of best books by Stephen King, also check out the best books by James Patterson.

The post The 5 best books by Stephen King appeared first on Morningside Books.

from Morningside Books https://www.morningsidebookshop.com/best-books-by/5-best-books-by-stephen-king/

[dannyphantomrpg]

Analysis: Ten Years Later

So, I’ve been thinking a lot about the Ten Years Later videos lately, and this analysis post just sort of happened~

To be fair, I did need to work it all out since I mildly referenced it in my Foley Fest drabble.

If I get any comic book info wrong, I'm so sorry. I don't know anything about Marvel aside what my husband knows about the 90's Spiderman cartoon.

Let's start off with Sam and Tucker, cause honestly? There's not much to go over with them.

Sam is sort of basic. Sort of dull. Butch says "leather" trench, but it's most likely pleather, or something more animal-friendly. Even (especially) ten years later, I don't see Sam giving up the good fight.

Her crop top, tho, seems to be a constant. I don't know if that's really her aesthetic, or if Butch just thinks all women like to show off their stomachs. Either way, the DP logo is something Sam would definitely sport.

Something I wanted to point out: in her first TYL sketch, Butch compares her to Black Widow. A quick Wiki skim later gives a bit more depth to the comic book ignorant like me. Black Widow's origin story is that of an orphan child being raised by the Russian government as a sort of Anti-Capitan America. She met up with Tony Stark by trying to assassinate someone in his company.

Sort of interesting to compare Sam with Black Widow, and then give her all those huge anti-ghost guns, hm~?

Tucker, I have a few issues with. Not his design (aside how he only got one sketch and then his final design - show your own characters some love, Butch!), but how Butch talks about him.

Specifically, that he's running for president. Quoting from Wikipedia:

“Article Two, Section 1 of the United States Constitution sets forth the eligibility requirements for serving as President of the United States:

   No person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.”

Tucker would only be twenty-four in TYL. He's still got 11 years to go before he can even think about running for president. So, like...

What happened to that little bit of legality?

Also of note, Tucker is the only redesign without the DP logo. Most likely, this is because he was the first and therefore before Butch had the idea, but he did give the majority of Sam's the logo.

Moving right along, we get into the meat of TYL. The Fentons.

A moment of silence for my baby Jazz.

How did "I want to go into psychology to help troubled teens" turn into "I'm essentially Tucker now"? Yes, she's the only one we've seen use the Fenton Peeler, but that doesn't really equate to getting "into the tech side of things."

Even in her sketch of just being in a jumpsuit with a "Maddie" haircut, Butch specifically gives her a piece of technology. He has her in a lab, leaning against a circuitry panel. Not a book in sight - not even one on ghost hunting!

And her final design? Oh, my sweet, smart child. There's just something so inhuman and terrifying about this image. Physically wired into Fenton Works? She "helps run all the gadgets"? She has control over traffic lights and automatic doors? Somehow, I feel like Tucker being up close and personal with his iPhone would be way more helpful than Jazz in a building on the other side of the city would be.

What happens the moment she runs into Technus? Heck, just send someone in to cut the power physically and she's completely vulnerable.

I guess Jack would be happy to be half robot? I mean, it seems like half his brain would be gone, so he can probably just be programmed to be excited about it anyway. I've never really seen Jack as the kind of guy to be upset about hygiene. If anything, I see him as a really clean person (until he gets completely distracted with an invention or something).

His second sketch is the one I really prefer - older, but still Jack. He’s big and buff and still a big old teddy bear. I can see this as a man who saw his son save the world and think "I'm slapping that logo on everything to show how proud of him I am".

Jack's finalized sketch is what really gave me pause in the first place. He's missing an eye. He's missing a leg. He has a prosthetic that, according to Butch, runs on ectoplasm. And, ok, I can see that happening. For God's sake, he turned his son and college best friend into halfas on accident because he wasn't paying attention - this man is not someone you really want in a lab setting.

But that's not what happened.

According to Butch, there is a possibility that people did this. That flesh and blood humans went after the Fentons and did them personal harm simply because of their connection to Danny. Jack lost a limb because a person decided to a) take out ghost-hunting competition, or b) cause Danny some kind of psychological harm, i.e. "If we can't get to you, we can get to your family".

And Maddie?

She was first and foremost a mother. Despite all the angst and family drama this fandom produces, Maddie loves her son above anything else. I feel, personally, if there was a choice between continuing her research and her children, she would give it all up in a heartbeat to make sure they're safe and happy.

That's all gone in her sketches.

Her very first image, she has a buzz cut, she has a huge weapon that's creating some sort of unmerciful death-ray, her goggles are down and she means business. There's nothing matronly about her in that image, no remnants of the mother that would look fondly on her son. No, she's murdering the F out of some ghost and does not care.

Again, in he second sketch, her hair is cut off and the goggles are down. There is something out there and she is going to destroy it. There is something out there that made Maddie leap "out of some sort of an airborne vehicle" with the ghost equivalent of the Little Boy and the Fat Man.

And, again, Butch is not helping.

"Well, I think maybe the Ghost Zone is in turmoil. I think that the ghosts need to live somewhere, and they’re trying to come here. So that’s why the Fentons get involved and that’s why there are so many weapons and why they’re up night and day, fighting off the ghosts."

First off - it's been established that the Ghost Zone and the Human World are connected. Anything that happens to one, will affect the other. So if the Ghost Zone has become so uninhabitable that the ghosts are coming here? How bad off is our world?

Second, Butch didn't say the ghosts were attacking. He said they wanted to live here. Yes, there are some ghost jerks out there *cough*Skulker*cough* but what about peaceful ones like Dora and Poindexter? The people of the Far Frozen? Shouldn't the Fentons know by now that not all ghosts are hostile? (Plus, this would have been an amazing use of Jazz's psychology to talk to some of these ghosts, to calm them down and learn from them.)

Maddie's final version manages to paint an even more bleak image for her. Butch mentions Mad Max and, a quick Wiki read later, that's, like, not good. Civilization is gone, lawlessness runs rampant, murder seems to be the only way to protect yourself. And Maddie is supposed to call forth that image?

Her hair is now essentially the shortest length Butch can give her without shaving her head. She's still wearing those goggles. We have yet to see this woman's eyes, she keeps them so hidden from the world. She has no guns to defend herself, only an ectoplasm-charged bat. She doesn't care about keeping her distance - oh no, she wants to be in the middle of the action.

And those BDSM ghosts? She keeps them on leashes short enough that they could touch her. She keeps them around to "help her sense other ghosts", nevermind the fact that, from what I recall, Danny is the only one with an actual ghost sense. Those ghosts look angry and not at all subdued.

And she's still wearing the DP logo. Somehow, even knowing her son is part ghost, she still has enough detachment/hatred of ghosts to demean them down to an animalistic level.

Vlad's designs are, whoo boy... Unique? Different? Each one portrays a completely different vision of the future that don't really mesh together. His first sketch is rather, uh, let's be completely honest here, Satanic. But other than that apparent dive into absolute evil, he looks more or less the same. Like no time has passed. I guess Clockwork could have yanked him out of space before too long?

By now everybody knows about the second sketch with fat!Vlad, tiger!Maddie, and perfect clone!Daniel. Heck, I knew about Daniel before I even knew there was a Ten Years Later video.

And let me just say this real quick: I love that, as soon as the words "He’s finally got himself a cloned child." were said we all, individually, came to the conclusion that: his name is Daniel Masters, he can be a spoiled jerk but isn't really evil, and he just wants someone to be friends with and play video games with. Like, I've yet to even see him in a TYL setting, he's more of a "Season 4" character.

My other thing I love about this image? Fat!Vlad. For a middle-aged man who kept in perfect shape, who fights with ghost teenagers every day, to suddenly put on weight? To me, in my experience, that means he's happy. He's found a way to be calm and relax and, yes, be settled enough to put on a few pounds. That's what happened to my husband. Before we got together she was an anxious, angry (precious) emo chick. And now she's calm, she's happy, she's adorably chubby~ (don't tell her I said this lol). Like, Vlad's so chill in this sketch that, whenever he finds out Daniel's been hanging out with Danny, he's not even mad! He's just like, "Be home by curfew, love you!" (My TYL Vlad is -absolutely- Maes Hughes. There isn't a single employee at Dalv Corp that hasn't seen a fold out wallet full of Daniel's pictures.)

(And just think, when Daniel brings home his boyfriend/girlfriend, Vlad brings out the baby book and Daniel's S/O is just like, "Why were your first steps when you were fourteen???")

Tiger!Maddie is great, if a little odd. Then again, Vlad's just living the dream of every five year old that just went to the zoo for the first time: "I wanna bring home the big kitty!"

And we get back to crazytown with the third sketch. Vlad wants to be king, what? When? Butch do you... do you know who Vlad is? You were so close with perfect clone!Daniel, and then you pull this. The only thing I can see this working as is some kind of Medieval AU with Dora and Aragon/pre-Sarcophagus Pariah Dark. Other than that, I can't see this sketch fitting in anywhere in DP.

But Vlad's final sketch returns us to the nightmare that is TYL. Vlad was abandoned in space, all human contact cut off, the only person that willingly called him a friend turned his back on him. He's probably ready to curl up and die at that point and then aliens come and kidnap him, forcing him to be a miner and then a coliseum fighter. I can't imagine the blow to his pride all that did.

I can accept that he would keep enough presence of mind to escape. Heck, I can almost believe that he would willingly keep the chain on his arm (though as less of a "reminder of where he came from" and more of a "I'm going to make these guys pay!"). But what really gets me is Butch saying, "he really, really wants to get Danny now".

That's not at all ominous. Not at all.

Like, what is that supposed to mean? I'm sure we're supposed to infer he's coming after Danny, but, would he? After all that time alone, after being broken down by some crazy Criminal Minds aliens? I'm sure that, in all that time Vlad was captured, he must have let it slip that he wasn't the only halfa. That this boy on Earth was more powerful that he had been in his prime. Could he be coming to warn Danny? Maybe the reason he escaped was because the aliens have their eye on a new "champion"?

Danielle is absolutely precious to me. My sweet little girl who only wants to live her own life. I love that her first sketch gives her a bit more of the Vlad influence (especially since I headcanon that she has his fire core and not Danny's ice core). The opposing black and white outfit, though, just looks like a bad Harley Quinn to me.

The second sketch is kind of cutsie, kind of bleh. There's something about Butch's femme designs that just... don't really hit the mark.

I'm adoring her third sketch. The overall feel of "ghost" really comes through with this design (and she finally has matching boots and gloves) and it feels really right with her. I've always loved the idea that she's more ghost than human, and this images hits it just right.

Her final design is ok. We go back to the alternating colors, which I don't like, but she also looks more like Danny, which I do like. Butch says she "likes to party" which I can kind of see. She's full of spunk, she has an adventurous side, she'd love to go out and see everything and get involved with as much as she can. The fact that she can shape ectoplasm into words seems like something she'd be into. Just imagine her floating outside of Vlad's window, cussing him out with floaty green writing.

Now, we finally get to Danny. His first sketch isn't too bad. He has a dedicated place for the Thermos - good idea on his part. A little simple, little plain. Loving the cargo pants, tho.

His second design looks a little more like a plain upgrade form his usual hazmat, but with more armor. Makes me think Sam and Tucker went to a sporting goods store and slapped all the knee/elbow pads they could on him to keep him from hurting himself so much.

I like the idea of the third design. When he embraces his ghost side, he gets more Dan-like qualities. I think something like this would take him a while to adjust to, but he would be better for it. This design feels like it would be the strongest one - delving into his ghost half and pulling power from it instead of fighting to keep it balanced with his human half.

Danny's final design, however, make me think. His hazmat has been replaced, or most likely upgraded, to include more Fenton gadgets - specifically trading the Thermos for a Glove. But the Glove, instead of just being a catch/release system, actually uses the caught ghost to power his suit. The green isn't just for design, it's the power he's taken from other ghosts he's captured. Does this mean he's just taking whatever the captured ghost's power is (like weather-control, or even power over boxes)? Or is it like the rest of Fenton tech where he's actually taking the ectoplasm from the captured ghost to power himself? How much is that hurting the other ghost?

As strong as Danny is, as strong as he keeps getting, why does he need to power a suit to keep fighting?

I've been thinking about this final design, thinking about the designs for all the other characters, especially the Fentons. I thought about how Danny would fight until his last breath to protect Amity Park, and, like...

Did he?

Did Danny die at some point prior to Ten Years Later?

Only once is Danny referred to as Danny Fenton, and that's during the sketch for Jack's original design. He's not even called Fenton in his own redesigns. He's had several sketches, but all of them were for Phantom. Heck, Vlad got a human drawing, even if it wasn't for his final design.

And the more I think about it, the more it seems to make sense.

Jazz gave up on psychology when her little brother died. She probably became depressed and couldn't leave the house. Wiring herself into Fenton Works seemed like the next logical step - at least this way she could help without having to face his friends who could go on without him.

Jack was probably grieving when he was attacked. He lost his son, his eye, and his leg.

Without having to reconcile her son's humanity with his ghostlyness, Maddie was free to revert back to a lifetime of thinking that all ghosts were nonsentient. She probably didn't get enough of a chance to being to change her views permanently, so she sees nothing wrong with how she's treating the leashed ghosts.

And Danny himself would even have an excuse for his suit. I've seen in the fandom that the reason Danny is such a strong ghost is because he's young, and he's still growing. That the more he ages, the stronger he becomes. When Danny died, he would have stopped growing in power. Heck, he might have even started -losing- power, and trying to revert to how strong he was when he first "died" in the accident. Having a suit that runs on other ghosts, using their power to replace his own, would actually make sense, especially if Maddie helped make it.

[very-merry-sioux]

A Very Merry (Scandal|Pride)shipping Fanworks Rec

Part two of my response on a post yesterday (part one was Sealshipping: [X]). I think I’ll have better luck with these two ships because they’ve been popular ships for a long time, even before Mahad was introduced.

So, here’s me cracking my knuckles and starting.

Btw, there is a lot of works about Prideshipping in general, and with DSOD it multiplied. So as a challenge, I’m focusing on the ones that do not have smut of any kind. If there is, it’s just a teensy weensy amount.

I haven’t found much fics of Scandalshipping, usually the ones I find have some Prideshipping mixed in, which is why I combined it into one list.

In terms of art, there’s a lot of ‘em (for both ships), so I won’t focus on that much. You can easily search for them. Pixiv will be your friend.

Fanfiction

Stepping Stones by evexe-n (manatsuko) and rowanthestrange_yugihell - It’s a fic series that features both Scandalshipping and Prideshipping. It’s the kind of series you want to read when you want fluff and humor with just a few pinches of feels.

Not The End by Prismatic Bell (Nina_Dances_In_Technicolor) - A post-DSOD Prideshipping fic that is a must read after you watch the movie. Because yes. Yes. You will not only love Atem and Kaiba, but also Mokuba, Mahad, Mana, and all the characters except that one KC employee who insists on adding boobies on every game. Kaiba’s dry wit is one of my favorites here. Also, this story will punch you emotionally.

Smoke and Mirrors by FloaromaMeadow - So how about we take DSOD and make it even sadder. Bonus points for Kaiba making dead jokes and Atem not being amused.

Our Fairly Modest Just A Few Close Friends Ancient Egyptian Wedding by rowanthestrange_yugihell - A feel good post-DSOD Prideshipping fic. They get married and there is no explanation on how a bunch of Ancient Egyptians were able to stop being dead to attend a wedding, probably Kaiba’s sheer force of will in screwing the rules.

In the Shadow of the Pillars by zuzeca - I like the fact that Atem punches Kaiba in the gut. I also like how the writer tackled reincarnation here. It features more pairings besides Scandalshipping and Prideshipping but they all blend so well.

Stocks by TunaFax - Kaiba is canonically an asshole but we will never get tired of it because seeing written word of his assholery is a gift from the heavens. Here’s one more fic that showcases this. Plus points for making Yuugi a bit of an asshole too.

Getting Rivalzoned (And Learning To Live With It) by oogenesis (vriskacircuit) - The premise is unrequited Prideshipping and is 80% hilarious and 20% feels.

Sunday Get-Together by Deck Divination (astralpath) - AU in that Gozaburo is still alive and Kaiba is dating to spite him.

A Spirited Challenge by Sparklefists - A supernatural AU featuring Kaiba’s intense skepticism over the supernatural despite playing chess with a supernatural being several times.

Ma'at's Executioner by Iced Blood - Very Season Zero, probably more Season Zero than Season Zero itself, something rare in most YGO fics. A little OOC since this is post-Duelist Kingdom and this is the time Yami vowed not to be season zero. I still approve. It’s more platonic than romantic.

The Gambler's Debts by Iced Blood - Has a Season Zero feel to it. I love the conversation between Yami and Kaiba, it felt like reading a conversation between Hannibal Lecter and Clarice. Except this Hannibal is less violent (usually) and less cannibalistic, and the Clarice is more vicious. This is one of the fics where I approve of the “Call me Yami” trope because it gives an explanation that is wonderfully tied in canon. This is also platonic.

Comics

Sirius by S-FLAME, translation by @drummerdancerficsandpics - Post-DSOD doujinshi. Very lovely art.

Stay Gold by S-FLAME, translation by @drummerdancerficsandpics - Post-DSOD doujinshi again, continues to the last scene of the movie.

(drummerdancer has plenty of YGO doujinshi translations so check out their blog!)

Code to Kaiba’s Heart by voyagehour - All of their expressions are gold, Yuugi is a sweetheart and Atem is a petulant spiritchild.

There’s a short one that I liked but I can’t find it. :( Nevermind, I did, thanks @hiramiyugioh for making me remember!

You’re An M (lol in general there’re no titles in their comics so I’m just making ‘em up for this list) by purpuara - It’s hilarious.

The Gem That Is Hong Kong Subs, alternatively You’re An M part 2 by purpuara - A happy DOMA comic. Kind of.

Duel Again? by purpuara - Hello, DSOD feels.

Red String of Fate by purpuara - A short Scandal and Prideshipping comic about the red string myth.

Surprise~ by purpuara - In which Yuugi can be a little shit.

Don’t by purpuara - Scandalshipping sads.

A Great Read After “Don’t” ^^^ by  寒実  - More Scandalshipping sads.

My Prince by purpuara - Oh, wow look at all the Scandalshipping I’m finding.

Take It Off by purpuara - Scandal and Prideshipping feels.

Blogs!

There are a lot for Prideshipping, don’t know with Scandalshipping though. But usually a Prideshipper has a 50/50 chance of being a Scandalshipper too. So I’ll just put on the ones I frequently stalk like a creep check out during my spare time.

@aminotvxq - Has amazing art? In general? I am very envy of the anatomy, and the muscles.

@evexe-n - Has good fics that I discovered because of my DSOD craving. I stalk the blog for fics and fic discussions and hilarious ygo posts tbh

@yugihell - ^^^^^^^^^ see above. Also, your tags crack me up.

@prismatic-bell - I love your fic it still clenches my heart.

@emmyfais - Probably knows more places to Prideship to your heart’s galore.

@purpuara - Has the cutest Prideshipping comics, and occasionally makes one that breaks your heart. Likes Scandalshipping too! Has a lot of posts tagged as Prideshipping.

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