#next week cas episode!!!

[exitwound]

do you know what’s so insane about supernatural and it took me four years to realize this. Narratively. Monsterhunting show about two guys and each episode there’s a monster or the week and also an overarching plot for each season. Very simple very classic. Hold on. there’s a third guy. Ummmmm he’s not an antagonist though. Ummmm well they try to kill him but also he tries to kill them but also they’re like all really good friends especially one of the guys is realllllly good friends with him. He’s an angel not a monster also but in this world angels are narratively like monsters except for this one he’s different. We will tell you he’s different but we won’t tell you why. Here’s eleven seasons of this angel repeatedly featuring prominently in the narrative, becoming basically a third protagonist, but never quite having a spot in the car. Sometimes he sits in the backseat. Sometimes he sits next to dean. Sometimes dean adjusts his collar. tips his cowboy hat. Winks at him. Then he disappears. Sometimes he’s not even an angel. And what keeps him in this show? every other character but sam and dean eventually leaves, dies, disappears, or is forgotten, what’s cas’ place? He doesn’t have one. He is in love with dean winchester. Dean winchester dies. Okay show over 😁

[nrdmssgs]

Kissing König on the forehead

Masterlist Kissing Ghost on the forehead Kissing Price on the forehead

TW: mentions of social anxiety

His life consists of you. Literally: you have become the measure of everything. There are no more 'Fridays' or 'Novembers' - there are days, weeks and months, until he sees you again. No more rooms in his house - there is a wall to which he pressed his back, giving you more space to pass by, when he first saw you. There is a stove where you burned your fingers, making his heart ache when he saw your tears for the first time. There is a window, by which he fell on his knees and frantically stroked and kissed your hands, after he heard your timid confession. Anything beautiful he witnessed, anything meaningful he heard or read, made sense, only when he thought, how would he share it with you.

König knows, It's too much, his eagerness to be by your side constantly, his hunger for your touch, his feelings - he is too much. And he is afraid, so terribly and utterly afraid, that one day you see it too and leave him. So he restrains himself, tries to be less vocal, clasps his hands around his elbows to not hug you every minute, he is around. König carefully plans every conversation, you two will have, when he is back from deployment. Sometimes these imaginary chats end good, other times - you yell at him, but what is even worse - you cry. Your tears, even ones, he imagines pain him so badly - he immediately takes out his phone and texts you.

"I am so sorry, Schatz."

He snaps back to reality only when he gets your worried answer. Of course, you get scared and want to know, what happened. So he has to come up with some excuse.

"I am sorry for not being right now with you. I know, it's evening back at home, and you are probably watching some show, and I remember, how you like cuddling, while doing it. I'm sorry for not being there."

König finally puts the phone away, hissing at himself for this episode.

When he finally returns, you refuse to wait for him at home and come straight to the station. He allows himself to squeeze you in his arms, but deep inside his head, König counts. "One-two-three-four-five-it's time to let her go, you can't just stand there and embarrass her with your tenderness in front of everyone. You are becoming too much once again."

You interrupt his inner tirade. "Let's go home, love."

An entrance door shuts behind his back, and he finally takes a deep breath in, feeling the familiar scents of your shared house. König hears some strange repeating noise, lowers his eyes and notices that you are immersed in the fight with a jamming zipper on your jacket. On the very next moment, he kneels before you, moves your hands away from the zipper and tries to figure it out himself. It takes him a while, because he is afraid to pull too hard, finally destroying the jacket. You look at him warmly and laugh softly. "König don't worry, I can handle it."

At that moment, zipper finally breaks. König frowns.

"You couldn't just mind your business, you idiot? Now she is going to finally see, how overwhelming you are, how you break everything, you care for, how you smother those, who you love. Is that what you wanted?" An angry voice inside his head shouts and silences everything around, including König himself. He doesn't feel his lips starting to tremble, forming some apologetic mumbling. He doesn't hear, when you try to reassure him.

So you take a quick step forward, and embrace him, pressing your lips against his forehead. Maybe that angry voice exists only in his head, but it's not the first time, you witness König tearing himself apart for no reason.

"You are overthinking again, love. But its going to be ok, I promise." Another kiss on his forehead.

"You are not overwhelming to be with, you are not annoying. No." By this time, you know all the terrifying things König's mind whispers and shouts to itself.

"No one is going to get tired and leave you. Especially not me." You kiss his closed eyes, not caring for remains of dark camouflage paint on his skin.

"You are overthinking, and it is ok, because it shows, that you really care. It's not your fault." You press your lips against his face, so that he not only hears, but also feels, what you are saying.

And that silents Königs anxiety and self-doubt. He suddenly feels tired, but endlessly loved. He finally comes back home, pulling you into a long and tight embrace, not counting seconds this time.

[spnfanficpond]

June 2024 Angel Fish Awards

(Angel Fish design by @slytherkins!!)

Every month all of you fantastic writers work your asses off to post some truly incredible stories. Our Angel Fish Awards are the way for all of us, as a community of writers and readers, to lift each other up and give praise to those who have captured our attention and deserve a few kind words. (Click here to learn more about how to nominate a fic for an award!)

Nominated by @autisticandroids

The Horror of No Detrimental Redaction by sp8ce (AO3)

Really top tier whump that is also a super attentive cas character study which is also willing to sit with him in a really uncomfortable space

The Trapdoor by hal_incandenza (AO3)

it's an epic rewrite of dabb era with a level of attention to detail that i've rarely seen in any fiction. the metatextual elements are carefully woven in and the character beats feel real. plus, it's an almost episode by episode rewrite and the new monster of the week casefic elements are fresh and fun. also it answers the question what if apocalypse world was good.

finer things by @explainslowly

i think it's maybe the ultimate pinnacle of the deancas triangulation of desire genre. when dean and cas have weird sex via a woman... one of my favorite things. and this is my favorite iteration.

By Your Hand by @restlesshush

this is my favorite relitigation of moriah that i've ever encountered. cas is so crazy in it. you can kind of feel that things will eventually work out without that coming off as cheap. it's perfect

~*~*~

Nominated by @candygrammes

LIMBO by entselene (AO3)

It's the creepiest. angstiest, scariest story I've read this year. Sam wakes up in Sioux Falls Hospital horribly injured, with no idea what happened. Not only that, but Dean is nowhere to be seen. Why? Has Dean abandoned him?

Nominated by @charliethealpaccaso

Strange Encounters by deanandsam (Ao3)

I loved the idea that there are dog versions of dean and sam along side the main sam and dean that I found it cute but also opened up a whole side story I wish there was more of.

Dogs Don't Pay Taxes by Zetal (Rodinia) (AO3)

There oddly is a huge lack of dog!sam fics on A03 that I love to try and spread the word of the ones that are out there. This one was cute both prompt wise and just made my day when I came across it

Faithful Companion by brokenlittleboy (AO3)

What if during season two Sam developed a whole new issue with his psychic powers and turned himself into a dog then this is the fic for you. Dean does mess around with him in this fic but I think it was a fun and interesting read for the concept

~*~*~

Nominated by @glygriffe

Why’s every song is about love (or drinking too much) by @quietwings-fics

They didn't give us enough Sam and Castiel scenes in the show. Here's a bitter-sweet one between the two of them, talking about Dean and the whole 'unrequited love' thing. A ficlet the gives a Destiel fan just the right amount of heavy heart.

It’s the Stars that Lie by @seperis

Ok, this fic doesn't need recommandations, but it's still needs public praises. To fully appreciate it, you need to read the fever dream that is Map of the World first, but I love how the author builds on the glimpses that the episode The End gave of the apocalypse!world. The OCs are interesting (and many of them are POC), and the lovely slow burn between Dean and Castiel is spiced up with the fake boyfriends trope.

Since I've Been Loving You - Remaster by tgel210 (AO3)

I like Castiel's first-person POV, Dean being a musician without being a rock star: it feels close to home like my next-door neighbor is talking to me about the love of his life.

Closer than they appear by sunkenfox (AO3)

Dean and Castiel figuring out what their life could be together by looking at Misha and Jensen is interesting. Even more interesting is the concept that like it or not, the Supernatural characters would not exist in their world without the writers and the actors in an other world. That Dean and Jenses share more than a face; same for Misha and Castiel (even if the difference are more obvious between the last two). A story of discorvery on a meta level, hiding inside a cute Destiel and RPF romance.

he feels no control of his body by withthekeyisking (AO3)

A wonderful but sad exploration of Sam Winchester throughout his life; from his lack of bodily autonomy to his dying faith in god(s) and humanity. With just enough brotherly love to leave the reader aching from loss and something like betrayal. (I love Dean, but he his a royal dick to his brother sometimes)

~*~*~

Nominated by @handsliketruth

evergreen endless by @whiskeyjuniper

A glimpse of endverse!Dean and Castiel during the earliest days of The End, via Chuck (prophet? god? something in-between?) as he continues to chart their story...and struggles to keep them from their inevitable collision despite their wildly infuriating pattern of falling into it... (full disclosure, this one was a gift for me, but I would rec this anyway 💛 dark, spicy, funny, clever meta fun)

But I Ain't Dead Yet by @bloodydeanwinchester

I cannot wait to see how this one plays out! Clever and charming with a fun hook: what if s4 Dean and Cas time-traveled back to 1x12 Faith to save Layla? (I would read a million words of Dean watching faith!Dean and Castiel get along 😂)

~*~*~

Nominated by @heavenssexiestangel

Bad Day Love by @spn-fanfic-reblog-writes

it's a cute pick-me-up story with one of my favorite ships. I really like how Arthur is so soft with Dean here.

Bedtime Routine by @spn-fanfic-reblog-writes

It's another rareship of mine andI love how they care for each other here and take care of Emma.

The Fool's Journey by @ladyknightskye

I know I was the artist for this story but - what Meg wrote for my art is awesome and it features one of my favorite characters - Gadreel. The journey he has in this fic is extremely important

~*~*~

Nominated by @jinkieswouldyoulookatthis

Presence by @ani-coolgirl

This story broke my heart in the absolute most beautiful way. It's sad and sweet and doomed and it haunts me still.

~*~*~

Nominated by @mariekoukie6661

Stitches by @kittenofdoomage

Its cute! I like it!

Sweet Little Lies by @impala-dreamer

I like how funny it was despite all the angst!!

~*~*~

Nominated by @masoena

Nothing Ever Really Ends by @nyxocity

Beautiful heaven fic with Sam and Dean, bring tissues, post S15E20

In Silence Sealed by @fiercelynormal

Dean loses his hearing but starts talking his thoughts out loud beautifully written Smitty short

Love, Your Brother by @eninkahootz

Sam and Dean communicating by letters btw heaven and earth post-series. Work in progress and so well written

~*~*~

Nominated by @mrswhozeewhatsis

Cretaceous by tiamatv (AO3)

This is a cute, fluffy romp through Jurassic Park as a Destiel fic! You don't have to love dinos to love this fic, but I imagine it would make it even better. If you're looking for something sweet and light to read before bed, this is the bedtime story for you!

~*~*~

Nominated by @rainythursdaynight

Clean Air by @anactorya

I read this story when I was maybe 16 and re-read it twice or three times in the year after. That being said, I can remember it almost excruciatingly well. I'm a post-apocalypse gal and I crave anything in that genre, so it was doubtless that I'd love this story. But the world-building done in this story? The characterization? The tension it manages to build? It's so gripping and exciting and I remember reading it worried out of my mind for the characters and exhaling the deepest breath as the story drew to a close. It's a not too dense read and an enveloping one, you'll forget you're above ground by the end of it!

Empty Spaces by @schmerzerling

This story made me fall in love with writing again. It's so heavy with how it distributes emotion in its words, but also so soothing too. This reads like watching a glass vase get tipped over the edge of a table and, maybe distantly, wondering if someone will catch it in time. But it doesn't quite matter because the flowers are beautiful and if you're crying then it's about the flowers and not the vase. I highly recommend this story to everyone, heavy as its contents may be. I felt safe reading this, I ached, I adore this story beyond words can capture.

Phantasma! by @thisisapaige

I very rarely read things that are horror inclined (funny as that is given the nature of Spn), and maybe this story is not considered horror either, but it left me just on that edge of eerie and it was exhilarating. Most of the story is sweet, and cathartic, as Dean rebuilds his life outside of his family and finds that in Castiel. But the mystery of it all, the unknown, it left me waiting for the other shoe to drop and this writer was excellent at making that payoff worth it.

The Art of Falling by @zipegs

This story was gritty and ugly and didn't pull back punches when it came to its emotional weight. Recovery is a nightmarish process of relapse and pain and relief and this story embodied this with its characters beautifully. This story was lonely, in the sense that its only two characters yes but it also felt a lot like reading about two characters pitted against the backdrop of everything. The world, the universe, existence. It made me feel small but so vast at the same time, and it was so utterly human (funny given the context of the story). It's a short and beautiful read that left me aching but in a way that was comforting as opposed to alienating.

With The End Came You by @lotrspnfangirl

I adore zombie apoclaypse AUs but so few of them focus on the characters' growth alongside the events of the series. And so few of them do side characters justice. This story was THE exception. Not only does the progression of the characters not sideline the plot and vice versa, but the story handles people so so well. You have those that stick around for long, and those that don't, and it treats both parties so faithfully that I'm left emotional over side characters I've only had a page worth of content with as much as the main characters I'm with the entire time. This is a zombie apocalypse AU that puts people first and foremost, and its so human and such a rewarding story to those that have even the smallest interest in these types of AUs. And the progression of the plot is so smooth and natural, TWD could never (and I love that show so take with that as you will).

~*~*~

Nominated by @samanddean76

Dark As Midnight (And You Don’t Look The Same) by @kassyscarlett

This is a story that follows a young Dean (17 years-old) out looking for a good time and running into an older man that gives what he wants. Not realizing he knows him, that he is in fact his Sammy. This story is so good! Time-travel, the follies of youth, needing to be protected from yourself, and realizing years later what that random encounter really was. It is part of a series, but works as a stand alone. But the entire series is worth checking out.

Coming Out Of The Dark by firesign10 (AO3)

It's a story about others helping one they know is broken, giving him what he needs so he can move on and live the rest of his life. The Richesters visit Sam in the bunker after Dean's death, and give him one final night together, so that he might carry on. It tragic and beautiful and has all the feels. Highly recommend.

~*~*~

Nominated by @spn-fanfic-reblog-writes

Interspecies Romance and Its Associated Perils by suspiciousflashlight (AO3)

I have read this story many, many times. It’s adorable and hilarious. It’s cute and awkward in a way that someone who isn’t sure how to tell about a weird scar or birthmark is. The ending is the best part of the entire thing.

A Helping Hand and Thrilling Touches by mydestielbabies_67 (AO3)

I don’t normally nominate smut but this was just amazing. It was beautiful, and what and intense.

The Cherry Pie Club by zation (AO3)

This is a work in progress. It’s great! Zariah is such a great writer in so many genres. This one is about Dean exploring bdsm for the first time and ends up also realizing things about himself too. Poor Dean learns the hard way that it is Cas he loves about bdsm but still. Their connection and energy with each other is felt as you read. Highly recommend reading!

Absolute Beginners by @ahurston

Chapter 5 made me scream then go feral and foam at the mouth.

Dancing moves by faithlesshunter (AO3)

I am not normally one to read infidelity fics; however, this is destiel. It’s the holidays and Cas and Dean get left alone to reconnect. They tried to be a couple at the beginning once Cas came back from the Empty but they weren’t ready for it. Now, years later and they are! The confessions and the hot smut is just so exacting for them. It’s gorgeous! Dean has always loved Cas and Cas still loves Dean. Oh, I’d love to see how it works out but this reconnection is just purely intense and the dopamine is addictive. Good luck. MUST READ!

The Case of Dean and Castiel's Extremely Resolvable Tension by CanonFodder (Tartan_Temptation) (AO3)

This is hilarious and hot AF! It starts out explaining the premise and drives right into it where Dean finally gives in. He is so happy he does too. He gets a wonderfully deserving reward. Poor Sam and his need for eye bleach. Lol!

Objects May Appear Smaller by @valandrawrites

The instant connection of Cas and Dean, and the science of this story makes this a one-of-a-kind a/b/o. Despite it being incomplete, it’s such a fluffy and fascinating read. It keeps you wanting more with every one of the six chapters. I hope one day they get inspired to write more.

Sentinel by Followsthebees (AO3)

I love this story. I love that it’s a different take on Castiel—he’s a gargoyle. It’s such a fascinating story and their connect is seen by the readers but not Dean. It’s interesting how Dean starts to notice and how intense and romantic it gets. Sex and flying are fascinating, man. This is written oh so well!

Three's Company by @luci-in-trenchcoats

Cas x f!Reader that becomes Cas x f!reader x Dean. It shows a very healthy ethical non-monogamy relationship. I love how the Reader initially freaks, I think, and when Cas and them come to talk to Dean, he freaks too. Everyone is patient with each other though. It’s as it should be when introducing polyamory to non-poly experience people. It’s so sweet and wonderful to read. It’s adorable. This is how poly fics should be.

Ketch and Release by NichePastiche (AO3)

Oh, the fluff and growth! I love this series so so so so much! I always get excited when I see they wrote more. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

~*~*~

Nominated by @spnbabe67

Finish What You Started by @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior

I love the tension that melts into silly goofiness.

Spin Cycle by @winchester-girl67

I usually don't do a lot of fluff but I loved the way the writer did this one.

~*~*~

Nominated by @thoughtslikeaminefield

Take A Shot by @rizlowwritessortof

It's just so sexy and Dean. Guh.

Rest by @zepskies

It's swoony and cozy and melancholy, and I love that for us.

The Iceman Cometh by @talltalesandbedtimestories

Ice play is one of my favorite things. Pair that with Dean Winchester, written by Sandra, and, well, you've got a winner.

Damned If I Do by @zepskies

I liked Lisa and Ben, and this is a very satisfying way to show that!

~*~*~

Nominated by @whiskeyjuniper

Truth & Despair by @shallowseeker

It's so compelling, every time a new chapter is posted I'm so excited to see what happens next. Also it's Shal's first fic and they're almost done with it so I wanted to celebrate it :)

(Divider by @glygriffe)

THANK YOU ALL, KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK, AND AS ALWAYS, HAPPY WRITING!

- From your Admins and Manta Rays, @manawhaat, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @mariekoukie6661, @thoughtslikeaminefield, and @heavenssexiestangel!

[heythrrdelilah]

timmy Timmy Timmy Timmy! Everithing about this lovable man

This man actually owns me. He’s #1 on my list and will forever be. So please request more Timmy y’all 🤣 I haven’t written smut in forever so please be mindful of that when reading.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, oral manipulations, sex

Pairings: Timothée Chalamet x F!Reader

Neighbors

The sound of bustling New York traffic filled your small studio apartment as you lay in your bed. You had a particularly rough day at work and you were wanting nothing more than to lay in your dark apartment, binge watch Love Island while you mindlessly scroll on your phone. Your air conditioning in your apartment went out a week ago so the window behind your bed had been open in an attempt of temporarily relieving some of the heat. The busy New York streets have become your sleep ambiance.

In the middle of the re-coupling of the episode you were watching, your finger stumbled upon your dating app folder in your phone. You were scrolling on Instagram before, but something in the Love Island air had you wanting to use Hinge like it was a phone game. You were never looking for anything serious, or anything in general. You never messaged your matches back. It was more like you had the apps for the option.

Scrolling to pass the time, you stopped on one profile that seemed a bit too familiar. The man had curly dark hair that fell over his face. In most of his pictures, his phone covered the majority of his chiseled features but showed his green eyes. It wasn’t until you looked at the name that it struck you where you knew him from. He lived next door to you, well across the hall. He was attractive, tall and lean. You’d never spoken before, just saw each other in passing, he probably hadn’t ever actually seen you before if you really thought about it. You still felt like you couldn’t swipe on him. The likely hood of you matching would probably be impossible, but in the off chance you did match, you lived right across from each other. You’d have to see him every day. If you matched and ignored it like all of your other matches, there would still be the lingering of the known fact you at least find him attractive.

In the deep thought, the show got good and you lay your phone down for a moment, allowing yourself to give your brain a break to dive into the drama of the show. When you looked back down at your phone you saw a giant ‘MATCHED’ across your phone screen. You must have accidentally swiped while putting your phone down. Your heart paused for a second and your eyes widened. The next notification across the screen was a message. He had already messaged you.

Timothée: hey neighbor.

That was it? What were you supposed to respond to that? You tossed your phone to the side and continued to watch the show again until your phone buzzed again.

Timothée: is your AC out too?

Is that why he matched with you? To see if your apartment was in the same condition as his? You could only find out one way.

You: yeah. I talked to the super last week but he just said he would get to it when he gets to it. Glad to know im not the only one.

An hour had passed and no response, so you assumed that had been exactly what he wanted, to ask about your AC. You were on your third episode into the binge when your phone buzzed again.

Timothée: I have a window unit but I have some extra fans. I’ll come bring you one if you need one. This summer is hot as fuck

You rolled your eyes as if it was habit. You’d be crazy to accept. Because he just wanted to know about your ac, but you obviously found him attractive and he knew it because you matched with him. His was information based, yours was attraction based, how embarrassing.

You didn’t respond. You turned your alarm for the morning on, just in case you fell asleep and continued watching your show.

Until a knock came at your apartment door. You huffed out a sigh and flung your legs off the side of the bed. The oversized shirt covering your shorts but you didn’t care. It was one in the morning and whoever it was, didn’t need to be knocking anyways. You opened the door and saw the curly haired man standing in a white t-shirt, black shorts, sneakers, holding a white oscillating fan.

He smirked down at you, “you didn’t answer so I brought it over anyways.” His voice was low and raspy. It added to his attraction. You felt suddenly aware of your messy appearance. “Thank you. I can return it to you when they fix it,” you reached for the fan but he pulled it back. “I can bring it in for you. It’s heavy and the button is finicky,” he informed. You moved to the side and let him in. You pointed to the bed area, “there would be great.”

“You swiped on me. Was it weird knowing I’m your neighbor?” He asked as he plugged the fan in. You turned bright red. When you didn’t respond, he broke the silence, “I am only asking because I swiped on you weeks ago. When you moved in? I told my buddy how beautiful you were.” Your heart was beating fast and you were definitely bright red at this point. “Really?” You asked, too nervous to tell him you basically told your best friend he was hot when you moved in. He nods and looks over at you, his eyes looking slowly from your feet to your head. You managed to find the courage, “I told my best friend basically the same.” He took a step towards you and now there was just inches between you.

He looked down at you, you up at him. The tension was rising. “The fan definitely is helping in here already. It feels cooler,” you croaked out, not breaking eye contact. He smirked, “let’s use the cool air to our advantage and make it hot again?” In that moment he leaned down and his lips met yours. You allowed yourself to sink into the kiss. His hand was on the back of your head, moving your head with his. His other hand was on the small of your back ever so gently. You placed both of your hands on his chest and gripped his shirt to pull him closer. The two of you stumbled back and fell to your bed.

Your hands moved to grasp his hair as his kisses went down your neck, his hands up your shirt gripping your breasts. You pushed him up so that you were in a sitting position. You slipped your shirt off to expose your breasts completely. He kicked his lips in his smirk, throwing his head back and groaning “fuck” before taking his own shirt off and laying back over you. His lips pressed against yours once again and his left hand trailed from the center of your chest, his middle finger just barely grazing your skin, down your shorts and circled your clit slow and gentle.

You instinctively clenched your thighs but he backed away from the kiss and used both of his hands to remove your shorts and push open your legs. He knelt down beside the edge of the bed, gripped your thighs, and pulled you to where you were placed perfectly at the edge. He placed his head between your thighs and began working his tongue and finger in unison. You wiggled and flexed your thighs, arching your back in pleasure. When you couldn’t take it anymore, you moaned out a simple demand, “fuck me.” He looked up grinning at you wickedly, “all you have to do is ask politely.” You looked back at him with pleading eyes and used the sweetest voice you had, “please fuck me.”

He removed his shorts and boxers quickly, grabbing his condom from his shorts showing that he had this planned all along and the fan was most likely just an excuse. A helpful excuse. He lined himself up and slowly inserted himself. He was being a tease. He thrust slowly until you were begging for more.

Six positions and 45 minutes later, you were both lying on your bed, out of breath, listening to the noises of New York. “Nice to finally meet you, neighbor,” he chuckled wrapping an arm around you. You nudged his side jokingly, “likewise,neighbor.”

[scoobydoodean]

Ah.. opening scene to establish that Dean is being bossy and dragging Sam everywhere and not respecting his input... right?

Let's dig a little deeper.

Dean suggested maybe they could ice the Devil in 5.01 (then after admitted to Sam that he said that for Bobby's benefit, though he isn't giving up, he's skeptical). Sam (5.01) and Castiel (5.04) said The Colt is the way to do it. So Sam and Dean have spent an entire three weeks chasing dead ends on The Colt since they met back up. I think it's likely they spent most of that time holed up in motel rooms looking at their computers, conferring with Bobby and Cas over the phone, and physically chasing down leads, cramped up in the car for hours at a time. In other words, no privacy, no space, and a type of research grind that's much more Sam's speed than Dean's.

Based on how Sam talks here... doing those tasks for that long with no break was his idea. This is a thing Sam is very prone to do also. He gets a path in his head and he NEEDS to follow it and keep the momentum going. When Sam gets like this, he doesn't care if they have nothing but dead ends over and over, and he historically becomes extremely critical of Dean wanting to take a breath and do something else for a while instead of continuing to chase their own tails (1.03, 1.10, 1.11, 1.20, 2.10, 2.18, 3.14, 4.11). So while this episode opens with Dean putting his foot down, it seems like it's actually because Sam, someone Dean doesn’t feel great around at this point in time (5.01, 5.02, 5.03, 5.04), has spent the last three weeks having his interests catered to, and everything he wants to do leaves Dean trapped with him almost perpetually in tight quarters when Dean isn't actually ready to be spending this much time with him again.

After three weeks, Dean simply finds a run-of-the-mill case and says "Let's go," and Sam apparently doesn't object until they're almost there, and in the car. Dean saying they need training wheels is telling in terms of how he feels about how the last three weeks have gone, and Sam twisting Dean's words to be about HIM needing training wheels and not their relationship tells you exactly how unproductive any discussion on this will ever be (as does the rest of the episode).

What really cinches the fact that Dean wants a break from Sam for me though is the way that Dean chooses to make his escape attempt and finally get some space. After insisting on going under the car to look at the engine number even though it's making him nervous, Dean uses the fact that he put his life at risk to do it to justify taking a break, and tells Sam to hit the books in a way that's clearly bossy:

DEAN Find out who owned it. Not just the last owner, you gotta take it all the way back to nineteen-fifty-five. SAM That's a lot of research. DEAN Well, I guess I just made your afternoon.

Where does Dean go? To a bar, to sit alone by himself, nursing a beer. After Sam complains, Dean doesn't do this again.

The next time Dean is implied to have ordered Sam to do something (check and load the weapons into the car—I already wrote about why that specific task interests me, and about Sam ordering Dean to do things through season 4) Sam walks in to find Dean bitching to Bobby about him on the phone. Once again, Dean taking an opportunity for a tiny window of space.

Is Dean nice about it? Nope. But that's what's going on imo.

Dean wants some space from Sam and some goddamn privacy and a normal case to escape from the stress (something Sam has rarely understood or treated as anything but selfishness and a waste of time when it was Dean's idea) where he feels like he can breathe without being repeatedly confronted by his and Sam’s destinies and how they whirl around each other and how it all goes to shit because (in Zachariah’s world) Dean isn't able to successfully reconnect with Sam and the world ends. So Dean HAS to reconnect with Sam, but he wasn’t actually ready to do that when they met back up, and the last three weeks have not helped. Dean is clawing for air.

[good-things-do-happen-dean]

forgot how HORRENDOUS the 15x16 -> 15x17 shitshow mess was. oh my fucking god.

hey y’all remember cas made a deal? 👀? with the empty? 👀? and cas has just given a big speech about finding faith in his family and love and talked to pastor sexy about a gay man being accepted in his community? 👀? and now at the end of the episode cas has to talk to dean about something ✨important✨? here’s the promo for next week: drag me away (from you).

next week. weird baby salmondean fight a hotel monster.

NOT TO BE LIKE. destiel tumblr 2020 but. SOMETHING HAPPENED.

[onlyhereforthestories]

Want To Be Wanted (Slight Aitana x Reader) (Platonic Keira and Lucy x Reader)

So this is a little close to home in terms of the dialog about mental health is something I once wrote to a friend when I really needed someone to understand me. It’s adapted a bit and changed but yeah. If anyone is struggling my messages are always open you are not alone and I promise the hard times don’t last they really are just a blip.

You just never felt like anyone got you, or like they wanted to be around you for who you were no matter what mood or mental state you were in. Because unfortunately you had some parts of you and some reactions to things that weren’t always the best and they tended to scare people away. You knew they were annoying and bad but they were still part of you and you were trying to lessen them.

So you decided a change of scenery would do you good, that it would help and that’s how you found yourself walking into the training facilities of Barcelona women's football team. Your loneliness growing up had paid off for something when it came to your job and it was the best part of your life in your minds eye.

The dynamic among the group took you a while to understand, all the women got on really well and they acted different to what you were used to. The constant touching and loud voices often had you shying away from engaging something that the two British women of the team noticed.

Keira was the first to approach you after a training session about 2 weeks after you joined. She merely started a small conversation about how you had been settling into the city and it was all you needed to not feel quite so alone. Not that the other women weren’t trying to engage you, they really were, but this was the first quiet solo conversation someone had really tried to have and it was good for you.

The next day lucy did the same thing and by the time you were 6 months into your time on the team you had become pretty much their little sister. The two women probably knew you the best out of anyone in the world and that scared you to no end. But they had already dealt with and been through some of your freak out episodes as you liked to call them and they were still here. They were still taking you to training and having you over for dinner and shielding you for the ruckus of the younger girls at training.

What you didn’t expect was to start falling for someone that wasn’t them. What you didn’t see coming was the warmth you felt when Aitana involved you in a small conversation with Mariona or the happiness that spread through you when she chose you to be her partner in a warm up drill.

It was fast and scary and within a month of properly speaking you had nicknames and spoke everyday outside of training. You laughed and joked and playfully argued and it’s was nice. You enjoyed the time you had with her and the time you weren’t speaking you looked forward to the next.

Then you had one of your freak out episodes on her. You got too clingy and too comfy and said things that she didn’t agree with or like about yourself. You were an idiot you knew it but they happened and you thought she liked you enough to not let it be an ending factor.

You were wrong. She stopped talking to you for about a week. Sent maybe three short messages and it hurt a lot. It hurt because once again you weren’t enough.

You tried to be a big girl and speak to her about it, tried to explain it all and help her see that okay yes it’s a bad part of you but you as a whole are trying and good enough that that bad part doesn’t define you.

You thought she got it. Though she wanted to be friends you thought maybe that was to just see with some time if you were the You she liked but again you thought wrong. The nicknames went, the time spent talking went and most of all the feeling of being wanted went.

That’s how you found yourself here in the arms of the two women who never leave you crying over a women you hardly had a chance to get to know.

“I just don’t understand Luce why call me those cute names. Why joke and giggle and try start to get to know me if you don’t want to be a part of my life. I know I fucked up I know that but I told her I was working on it. I told her.”

Lucy held you tighter, she didn’t know what to say here. She didn’t understand how Aitana could have left that easily but maybe that’s because she knew all of you.

“I don’t know why it’s happened y/n but I do know you are wonderful despite what you think. Those bad days are never a reason to leave or not get close to people. They are a little part of the amazing person that is you.” You sobbed a little harder. You had never really spoken about why they happen to anyone before not even them. They just knew they happened, witnessed a few themselves and become a major part of the comfort you needed now when they did.

“I need to tell you a little bit about why these happen. I think it will be good for me to finally tell someone and I think you both deserve to know. I need you to wait until I’ve said I’m done before you speak because I think this might take some time to all come out.”

Both women nodded and pulled you so you were sandwiched in between them, their way of telling you you were not alone.

Taking a deep breath you started “When I was 5 I realised my parents were never really around, I would get dropped off at before school clubs and get dropped home by a friends parent every evening after evening school clubs. I think I could count on on hand the amount of times I got a hug from my mum and if I’m honest it didn’t bother me until I got old enough to be told that wasn’t normal. Now I look back and curse my parents for even bringing me into the world when they didn’t want me.”

You took a deep breath and started to fiddle with Keira’s fingers before you continued “By the time I was 12 I was already travelling all over for football games and tournaments so I didn’t have much time to think about myself or my feelings. I just had to make it. Football was the only thing I loved and I didn’t want to lose that. So I worked. I got my head down and I played and trained and it worked for my parents because they had to think about me less. And by 15 it worked for me because I didn’t have to feel so unloved by parents that didn’t want me.”

You asked for some water that Lucy got up and got for you. Giving yourself a second to think through what you wanted to say a little bit more. You thanked the woman before taking a gulp and continuing “Friends came and went. They would talk to me for a little while involve me in things and then just stop. My first real friendship that ended the same way was when I was 16. A girl I met at the under 18s. She was great, she spent time with me, made me feel wanted and cared about and never judged me. Well until a freak out. I had got upset that she didn’t speak to me for a few days and pulled away from her and so she left. I know I was at fault but it still hurt that she didn’t fight. After that I tried harder to not let people go, well the ones I really wanted to stay. I tried to explain myself a little bit and tried to hide the bad part but it always snuck out. So pretty much everyone left.”

You could feel the wetness on your cheeks but you needed to finish before you let yourself cry properly.

“Depression creeps up on you quietly. At the very beginning you struggle with little things but usually choose to ignore them. I try to think of it like a headache, it’s temporary and it’ll pass, it’s just another bad day but it’s not. You get stuck in this state of mind. You get used to putting on a social mask and you continue to live amongst other people because that’s what you have to do, it’s what you want to do. It’s what others do so... However the problem does not just go away. It always shows back up. You struggle to put that play on everyday and it’s starts to cost you more and more. That is why you fall even deeper and that is when you start to slowly back away from friends and family, sometimes even completely shutting them out even if it is totally not what you want to do and even if it hurts you more. It always hurts you more. Which normally leads to those people around you not wanting to speak to you or backing off themselves because they either think it’s best or they give up hope a little. Backing off is the hardest and the worst thing to do because it causes isolation. It causes the people who are there for you all the time to leave. And most of the time it’s confusing, angering but mostly upsetting.”

You looked at the picture of Lucy and Keira holding the euros from the summer before and it made you smile a small smile. Seeing your people happy always made your heart happy.

“The little things that used to bring you joy are struggling to do just that which hurts you more because they shouldn’t be. They really shouldn’t be. Even the simplest tasks become painful. That is why you lack motivation, why would you keep on trying if very little makes you happy anymore anyway? What’s the point in it? And why aren’t you happy? There is so much to be happy about and people that are still there yet you just can’t seem to let that feeling happen. All of this makes you feel worse and you get caught up in a vicious cycle. This is when you find yourself living in slow motion. Days become indistinguishable, just white noise, just heaviness filling your mind and spilling over your body. You feel as though you’ll never be happy again. You’re ashamed for everything that you’ve done and everything you haven’t... You’re even ashamed of who you are.”

You felt Lucy shift next to you but held up your hand to signify that you weren’t done and that you needed her to just let you say it before commenting or acting.

“There is a part of you that wants to make things right there’s always a part of you that wants to be better, a sudden positive upsurge makes you want to go out and meet people, but it’s usually very short lived, because you think it won’t work anyway. Things that make your friends excited leave you indifferent and you become steadily aware of the huge gap that lies with you. Another failure is not an option, so in the end you choose to be alone where you can’t hurt anyone and you can let people get on with their lives. The low self esteem and lack of purpose becomes unbearable and you just don’t know why you haven’t given up yet. I don’t know why I haven’t given up yet. They say life is more than just living so what do you do when you feel like all you are doing is living? How do you not give up?” With that you let the tears fall and the sobs rack your body.

You had let it all out, every small thought in your mind you had just spoken about and it felt both good and scary. If Lucy and Keira left you wouldn’t cope you knew that but you didn’t think they would. You trusted them more than you would ever be able to explain.

The two women held you for a long time, they let you let it all out before lucy spoke up. “The people you want in your life are the ones that stay no matter what. Because you are amazing and caring and kind. They will see past the blips and hiccups and stay for you. You will always be enough don’t ever let anyone make you think otherwise.”

Keira spoke next “And you don’t give up because then you let all those people win, and you don’t give up because you have so much life left to live. So tonight we cry and tomorrow we get back up and we hold our head high. Never forget we will always be here through the good and bad days no matter what.”

You didn’t know what was going to happen next, you didn’t know if Aitana was just trying to be nice or leasing you on or not ready. You didn’t know if she even really wanted to be friends but in that moment you realized that it didn’t matter. As Lucy said the people who deserve to be in your world, the people that you want in your life stay. They stay no matter what because you are you. And to the right people you will always be enough.

[vestaclinicpod]

Audio Drama Sunday - 7th April ✨

Happy #AudioDramaSunday! I’ve had such a long week - here’s what made it better!🌈

👻 @tellnotalespod (S2E7) I loved the April Fool’s episode, it really brightened up my day. And the main ep was lovely too. I do so love a parakeet and the idea that some kids can actually see ghosts 🥺 but what the hell was Frank doing at the end there? Please can this be the thing that pushes Leo back into Julia’s (arms) and Riley’s circle of friendship????? Please! 

🌲 @hellofromthehallowoods (146) Danielle!!!!! I am rubbing my grubby little hands together waiting for more information on how Clem and Danielle came to be Like That. The fun thing about this ?time skip is that it makes me want to be omnipresent in the narrative too. I need to know what’s happening to everyone everywhere!! 

🎙️WTNV (245) Maybe I have father-related trauma, but I am HUNGRY for the Grandad Gershwin lore.

🏛 @the-mistholme-museum (FRANTIC) ohh I was wondering when the Queen was going to make an appearance (Hero is too good not to be featured LBR) but now it’s happened I’m scared!! I think the next episode is the finale and I have no idea what kind of ending is going to emerge! 

🔎 @224bbaker Fawx and Stallion released the second part of their Q+A which was so much fun to listen to. We love self-indulgent show runners, particularly when we all want the same things (AKA lava-filled cage matches). Please be really cool and intelligent like me and support the S2 crowdfund! I need the case of the Birthday Boy or I’ll perish. 

🍾 @ameliapodcast (30) This was such a cute episode!! Not going to lie, if the first human voice I heard was Amelia’s, I wouldn’t be mad! Not sure that they’re going to get them back as a client though . . . 

🍎 @notquitedeadpod (XXX-XXXII) help, oh my god, listening to Alfie talk to Cas is actually destroying me emotionally 😭 I hate how evasive (and manipulative??) Neige is being. I KNOW there’s something huge that hasn’t yet been revealed and I’m not ready to find out what that is!

Hope everyone has had a good week! I'm so excited for more Camlann next week and I think The Silt Verses is returning too!! 

[eggybug]

guess what time it is! its end of season 4 thoughts time!!!!

they are going to be a lot more insane and outta order than in the past

1. the entire season they were yelling at us that lilith was the final seal and it pissed me off jfc

2. i forgot what it was like to lowkey hate sam, i hate it.

3. so cas was in love the whole time, right? RIGHT. like i know ive been ranting about it all season but are you KIDDING me

4. ruby is a bitch and i hate her so bad. but she was in it for the long game thats for damn sure

5. im REALLY not looking forward to the whole "sam gets haunted by lucifer" bit

6. i love cas, i really do, but he looked right in deans eyes, knew that he was doing this shit to him, and did it anyway. like he was probably tortured by the legions of heaven, but goddamn it

7. when i start making cain and abel comparisons all next season, i don't wanna hear shit about it. itll be my bout of insanity and i apologize in advance

8. i fuckin LOVE bobby

9. no body liked john winchester, they loved him, but they hated the son of a bitch

10. i never got to the point where chuck became TRULY the worst guy ever, but i know we as a fandom hate him, so i hate him.

11. i think demons eat babies and i don't know how i feel about that

12. i don't know who i hate more, uriel or zachariah. maybe im glad cas killed all the angels

13. like i get it but HOW did it take dean so long to realize heaven wanted the war too. they disappeared for weeks while lilith was breaking seals like a bull in a damn china shop

14. they keep doing that thing where one of the capital A angels does something shameful to dean, or dean questions his faith in the "Plan" and the camera cuts to cas looking like a sad puppy

15. ik ive said it 1000 times but goddamn those stupid lil boys need therapy

16. GABRIEL WAS TRYING TO WARN THEM, HE WAS TRYING AND HE COULDNT. THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU GABEY!

17. hey, in the last episode they killed a bunch of nuns, which like damn

18. back to sam, his dumbass really fell for the devil on his shoulder bit jfc

19. like i understand camera work, but two straight men don't stand that close to have a conversation. they just don't.

20. hey sammy, you throw a lady in a trunk, you stop being the good guy

21. at any point did they just consider... not doing that. maybe perhaps, waiting a week?

22. there was a thing with the mirrors and zachariah in the last ep, wasn't there? like that wasn't unintentional. mirrors are notoriously terrible to work with, that can't be unintentional.

23. i love that biblical fanfiction always somehow ends with an angel, a demon, and a human coming together to stop heaven and hell playing out a war on earth.

24. spn just proved you can't leave a bunch of corporate assholes in charge of a planet.

26. im really not looking forward to sam whining about starting the apocalypse for a whole season.

27. dean fighting tooth and nail for cas to see the truth in humanity. to find faith outside of heaven. cas seeing that and it breaking his morale a little bit more and more every time. cas repeatedly seeing dean, perfect vessel, perfect soldier, dean be willing to lose the promise of heaven, of peace for his little bit of humanity. it broke cas. and dean keeps begging cas to see it too. and they're going to drive. me. INSANE.

28. "we're done" those were the exact words dean said to cas.

29. so cas and dean can talk without saying anything, and i hate to say that means they're in love... but thats exactly what that means.

30. cas did it! he broke his faith, he sacrificed himself for dean. and now they're gonna kiss (ik they don't kiss but a boy can dream)

31. have i mentioned that sam pisses me the FUCK off! like yeah i blame ruby but goddamn.

32. this season was hell in a handbasket, jfc (no ounce intended)

omg! season for is done!! woooo! onto the most annoying and lowkey painful season ever! my takes and thoughts for season 5 are going to be annoying, so be prepared !

[madeofcc]

2023 Top ♥

Tagged by @someone-elsa and @shesthespinstersimmer ♥ Thanks a lot !

I didn't remember doing all that this year !

Thanks a lot to everyone who's been following me through this journey. 2023 was one of the worst year of my life but also one of the best weirdly so let's hope 2024 will be better for everyone ♥

below the cut I'll put the link and explanations for each edit

1/ The Moonlight/Moonwood Tales concept : Based on the lore that came with the werewolves pack, I imagined a story that would explain everything between the werewolves, vampires and spellcasters. I actually prepared a plan for season 1 ... Maybe I'll post it next year ?

2/ The stories I planned for this year but so far, only Melodia is still going. DH3 will start next year sadly and Another Side has been cancelled because of lack of time and a bad computer.

3/ Aïssa in the city : a special photoshoot/lookbook with some items I love and also a small interview including infos about DH2 and 3. It's also a way for me to show more about Aïssa's modeling life. The title is also a reference to the upcoming spin-off about her ...

4/ The DH3 women and the DH3 gang because I want you to love them when the story will start !

5/ The EDGEWAVE fest organised by @aniraklova ♥ It surely was my favourite event this year ! What an awesome idea it was and a lot of people did amazing stuff during 2 weeks ! You saved our summer for sure ! I used Candy Bher as a reference to Another Side and MOON who's a character in DH3 ...

6/ Toxic Don ! A potential new Another Side story I've been thinking about years now ... It would be fun !

7/ The Ghostface DH3 edits : It's a reference to DH3 and Scream of course; the plot will be a tribute to Wes Craven actually !

8/ The Melodia musical video part : it actually was awesome and fun to create but it took me an entire month just for this little video. I decided to stick to a more boring regular way to post this story. I also don't have a lot of readers so far so I guess they will forgive me. I still see it as one of my biggest achievement here though so check it if you can ^^ I love how the episode turns into a musical movie

9/ @windbrook's Slashed Challenge : it was one of my favourite CAS challenge of all time ^^ I'm a huge slasher fan ! It was perfect for simblreen and people created awesome characters and stories !

10/ A makeover of the Three Sages that comes with Realm of Magic : Ana Mae is actually an original OCs, they all should appear in DH4 and 5 ... Morgyn should be very important in DH4 actually ...

11/ URBZ Mag DH3 edition ! Get the girls part here and the boys part there ♥ I love doing fake interviews and mag covers ! Sorry not sorry

12/ Valentines day ♥ My favourite is the one with the Destiny, Leïla and Aïssa because it's funny and feminist, what this trio is together ! They surely had a great night that day, it's also supposed to happen after Melodia so ...

13 / Franck and Madame Sophie : the first drag sims I create ! I wanted one for the Aïssa spin-off so I guess it will be them :)

14/ Recent edits I like : Maria Perron for @birdietrait's coven (I love her and I'd love to make a little story about her) / An other Another Side new idea focused on Venessa Jeong / Destiny's last portrait for the ocs associations

15/ My favourite gif coming from Another Side Episode 1 : I think it's the best ending for this episode as it shows all the plots and times together. Everytime I see it I want to get back to the story ...

Tagging @trippisimmies @badwoohoo @bobnewbie @uwutrait @frzr-bunny @windbrook @eslanes @budgie2budgie @nefarrilou @kashisun @birdietrait @castawavy @agena87 @fangs-trait @peonypyxels @barbieaiden @void-imp @ladybugsimblr @xldkx @nilonne @bakersimmer @whyhellosims @mangosimoothie @djservo @sea-cross @surely-sims @hufflepuff-sim @aniraklova @therichantsim @wolfavens @cinamun @alelelesimz @moontaart @pralinesims @cyberth0t @squea @helloavocadooo @cross-design @rebouks @crazy-lazy-elder-sims and anyone else who'd like to join ♥ feel free to tag me or ignore this as well ^^ (Also, check out these blogs, they're all great !)

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

03/28/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; David Jenkins; Leslie Jones; Taika Waititi; Vico Ortiz; Samba Schutte; Kristian Nairn; Watch Parties; Trans Day of Visibility: Cool Pirates; Fan spotlight; LoveNotes; DailyDarby/Today's Taika

Hey lovelies! I'm taking your advice and not stressing too much if I can't get the recap out by end of day due to life stuff. So! That means if you don't see one from me, it doesn't mean it's not gonna happen, it means I probably fell asleep and I'll finish it up the next morning :)

=Cast & Crew Sightings =

== David Jenkins ==

Chaos dad popped into to show @bainecessitiesco some love for their amazing affirmation cards we've all seen circulating :) If you haven't seen them yet, feel free to check out Mik's Instagram

== Samba Schutte ==

Samba's been a busy man today! Roaches Rascal's over on the Cameo discord server got another cameo from Samba! This one features some great impressions from Samba, but also a "legend" of how Rhys as Merstede got out of the water with that costume on.

= Cameo =

"How Merstede Got Out of the Water"

Full Cameo

== BTS ==

On top of his cameos, Samba gave us yet another pile of BTS Videos! This time shouting out the background and stand in actors! As usual, Tumblr only allows me to upload 1 video per post, so here's the videos on various tumblr posts below:

Video 1 - Spanish Jackie's

Video 2 - "How you hanging there?" feat Alex Sherman

Video 3 - Spanish Jackie's 2 - "Hey How you doin?"

Video 4 - Con O'Neill and His Middle Finger

Video 5 - Cursed Ship Background Actors

Video 6 - Republic of Pirates In The Evening

Video 7 - Goldie The Cow

Video 8 - Hot and Bothered Practice

Video 9 - Truck Full of Actors

Video 10 - The Red Flag Crew == Leslie Jones ==

Leslie's back at The Daily Show rocking it!

== Taika Waititi ==

New video on Rita's IG, see it here on tumblr on @fuckyeahworldoftaika's post

== Vico Ortiz ==

There's another episode of Date My Abuelita, First! Season 2, Episode 5 is out!

Source: Date My Abuelita, First Instagram / Website

== Kristian Nairn ==

Kristian Nairn is joining the list of the crew going to the San Jose Galaxy Con August 16-18, 2024! For tickets and info visit: Galaxy Con Tickets

= Dominic Burgess =

Jeffery Fettering is poking his head out again!! Can Dominic get any cooler, truly? Thank you JessieB for giving Dominic the inspiration to hit the high seas! Source: @edteachseawitch's Twitter

= Event Calendar =

For Friday It's #PhoneInFriday in the UK!

== Watch Parties ==

=== Boy ===

Sunday 31st, @tillychmo and @regg_official on Twitter will be hosing a 'Boy' Watch Party

Hashtags: #OurBoyMeansEgg

2 pm GMT

10 am EDT

7 am PDT

== Cool Pirates ==

First #CoolPirates for the celebration was Vico Ortiz! Feel free to visit the @saveofmdcrewmates tumblr to see the new ones each day!

== Fan Spotlight ==

Tonight's cast card is Mama Teach! Thank you @melvisik for giving our lovely Simone Kessell some love!

== Dead But Delicious ==

If you're near Alameda CA, there wil lbe a WWDITS Themed Variety Show going on at the Alameda Comedy Club on June 20th! 8 PM! Feel free to check them out! Learn more on their IG!

== Kudoboards Reminder! =

REMINDER! KUDOBOARDS close on the 31st. 

Go send the cast and crew some love folks!

David Jenkins

Nathan Foad

Con O'Neill

Ruibo Qian

Leslie F*cking Jones!

Matthew Maher

Vico Ortiz

Samson Kayo

Alex "Ass Tonight" Sherman!

David Fane

Gypsy Taylor

Kristian "Wee John Wondays" Nairn!

Samba "BTS and Baking King" Schutte!

Fellow OFMD Fan Crew!

== Love Notes ==

Hey Lovelies! This is a bit of a silly love note today because I'm behind on everything, but I just wanted to give you some silly permissions (I dont have any real authority to give permission but this is a reminding you YOU have the authority!) to go out and do something out of the norm today.

I decided that I was going to have some ice cream after breakfast today. Why? Idk cause this weeks been crazy and ice cream sounded good.

Give yourself a treat today, whatever that happens to be for you-- going for a walk, eating ice cream, going to see that movie you have been holding off doing. Do something that makes you smile, you deserve it!

== Daily Darby / Today's Taika ==

I think some of these may be repeats but they make me smile every time I see them so tonight's dance time!

Darby courtesy of @thunderwingdoomslayer

Taika courtesy of @celluloidbroomcloset

[waitmyturtles]

HYPERBOLIC SPOILERS FOR THE PHENOMENAL SECOND EPISODE OF OS2 x BBS x ATOTS

Can I feel so much in just one sitting?! Besides the UTTER giddiness of yesterday’s episode, at least for today, I think I have some actual, sensible, legible analysis to offer. I’m really moved, almost to tears.

I mean, as I blogged just a few minutes ago, part 4/4 of this second episode WILL go down in history in my heart as OBVIOUSLY some of the BEST, most STUNNING content in the HISTORY of anatomical and muscular analysis filmmaking. Yes. 

I’m seeing on Twitter some grumpiness for the comedy of this all (the girlies want more woop woop?! I mean?!), but I seriously think this whole crossover set up and the way it’s been written is brilliant. And I don’t think this is just for fun. 

But first, regarding the comedy and some other one-off points -- I mean, I knew that all four of these guys would be great, but their comedic TIMING, with the writing, is spectacular. They clearly had a FANTASTIC time filming this, and you can see it -- while they didn’t have much time to actually film it, it’s so well done.

I really want to call it, I really want to see it, I wanna see more subverting of the ships, and I wanna see these guys do more with each other separately -- I’m excited to see the implications of OhmEarth and NanonMix next week, and I think that Aof might be making a huge point by separating these guys, pairing them up together with others, and mixing shit up, because that’s what he does (especially while I have He’s Coming to Me on the mind soon on my OGMMTVC watchlist). 

Another one-off point: like I wrote yesterday, we’re getting a double-dose of nostalgia, and I also wrote that I haven’t had to wait NEARLY as long as most of y’all for the return of BBS and ATOTS. But that being said, even though I only watched ATOTS last fall, I actually literally nearly cried when I saw the ATOTS flashbacks and heard the music. Because the way that show was designed in 2021 (I got so much OGMMTVC on my mind) -- those motifs WERE designed to imprint themselves in our memories as remarkable for a kind of cinematic, bildungsroman BL that we weren’t used to seeing back then. That show was nostalgic not JUST for the damn ship, but for Pha Pun Dao, for Chiang Mai, for the Thailand that Aof celebrates vis à vis EarthMix in ATOTS and Moonlight Chicken. 

It’s gorgeous, and he knows what he’s doing by putting PatPran in that mix -- another couple at a different stage of their relationship, with a background and shared struggles that are different than TianPhupha’s, but that still offer both freshness AND nostalgia to the backbone story of ATOTS.

What’s moving me about these first two episodes reflects on what I just wrote -- this is no longer a story about Bad Buddy or ATOTS. This is a story about two couples going through their shit. Pat and Pran have ALWAYS been about going through their shit. We went through a A LOT of SHIT with them, including forward flashes after they graduated and seeing how they were faring in their long-distance relationship. 

Remember: we haven’t spent ANY time with Tian and Phupha in their relationship yet, ABSOLUTELY NONE. They smooched once on the hill, we saw them cuddle, and Oishii sent us off. So we’re JUST finding out, NOW, how they’re faring, and we get thrown in a fight.

A fight that’s similar to the kinds of struggles that Pat and Pran have already shown us and are showing us now. Tian wants Phupha to see a slice of HIS life in Bangkok. Tian wants Phupha to yield a little, to stop being so stubborn. 

Pat wants Pran to open up more. Pat KNOWS why Pran keeps everything so close to the chest. Pat is SO USED to being the balancing effect of their relationship, to push forward, to pull back, but to ALWAYS HOLD PRAN DOWN AND REMAIN AS PRAN’S ROCK, because Pran has not had the same kind of large family structure as Pat could rely on in his childhood and doesn’t know how to take emotional risks. Pat knows this and works hard on balancing it out.

But Pat can go overboard, right, and that’s partly why Pran drove away to Pha Pun Dao -- to prove to himself that he could complete this project on his own, but also, flirtingly, knowing that Pat would ultimately be by his side, and to play the competitive games that these guys always play with each other, because they’re still college dudes with bones to pick. 

What we’re seeing is BOTH COUPLES FINDING THEMSELVES IN THEIR MATURING GROWTH STAGES OF THEIR RELATIONSHIPS. 

Hello, mic check, there’s something happening here in Our Skyy 2. WHAT HAPPENED IN THE ECLIPSE EPISODES?

Same damn thing, the same damn thing that pissed the girlies off before. WE’RE SEEING AWLLLLLL THESE GUYS IN THE GROWTH STAGES OF THEIR RELATIONSHIPS. Akk was frustrated by all the expressions of care that Ayan is overabundant with. Ayan WANTS Akk to RECEIVE the care, because the RECEPTION OF CARE IS the signal, the trigger, the MEANING of the relationship for Ayan -- it tells Ayan, when I care for you, Akk, I AM SHOWING YOU MY LOVE FOR YOU, and that’s how *I* DEMONSTRATE IT.

Tian: Phupha, come with me to Bangkok.

Pran: Pat, let me do this by myself.

Akk: Ayan, I don’t need as much care as you’re giving me, it’s too much.

Phupha: You’re making only about me being madly in love with you.

Pat: I want to help you, my boyfriend.

Ayan: This is how I show my love for you, Akk. 

Y’all. Aof, Golf, these filmmakers. QUEER RELATIONSHIPS ARE RELATIONSHIPS THAT DESERVE THE INVESTMENT AND RESPECT OF EMOTION AND GROWTH IN ART. Not all queer art/BLs need to be about the thrills and frills of the first kiss, of the first sex, of the first whatever. We’re expecting these guys to live together forever in fiction, right? Aof and Golf and the other homies are saying -- kk, girlies, we’ll give you the fan service, alright, but we’re going to show you HOW WE, AS THE QUEER COMMUNITY, DURING PRIDE, GET THERE IN OUR OWN RELATIONSHIPS, TOO, messy details and all. Shit.

Here’s something from reality. I’m the youngest girl of my Indian family -- I was not equal to my older siblings at all, expected to fail, treated as if I didn’t know how to function in society. Y’all can predict what happened. Your gal got a great career, a great family, a husband, the whole thing.

So when I first met my husband, I’m riding my life on my own -- paying my own rent, my own bills, everything. I had already proved I didn’t need my birth family for anything.

But what I didn’t consider during those first years of the relationship was the following: my future husband’s love language was dependence. He was certainly IMPRESSED by dating a woman who had her shit together. BUT. He WANTED me to DEPEND on him, AT LEAST emotionally, if not for other things. I wasn’t going to like, quit my job for a relationship, but -- I was ALSO having REAL trouble DEPENDING on him emotionally.

Like Pran, maybe. I didn’t trust trusting anyone emotionally, because that was a paradigm already created by my family in my upbringing. I had TRAINED myself to NOT need emotional feedback from ANYONE romantically, because I learned to survive in other ways.

Of course, with great communication AND TIME (TIME), I came around and learned to lean on him and trust him.

Aof and Golf are giving their couples the benefits of growth and time to make the relationships better, and stronger, and working, and functioning, and I can’t emphasize enough how REAL THIS IS. 

That’s what these episodes are giving me. I WANT TO SEE MORE BLs with established relationships (@bengiyo, @lurkingshan, @wen-kexing-apologist: WHAT DID YOU EAT YESTERDAY FTW). I want to see contextual heartache. I want to see fights. I want to see tears. I want to see snottiness and shittiness and passive aggression, because all of that is worth examining in human emotional art. 

That’s real, that’s worth reflecting in art, and I see Aof and Golf doing this on purpose to give RESPECT to the emotional structures that they’ve created in their work. 

I’m having so much fucking fun with these episodes, but I should have expected this, I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN, that Aof would already render me an emotional mess as well. It always happens. That it’s happening to our BELOVED COUPLES, AT THE START OF PRIDE, I’m just like. We’re just so blessed to have this art to enjoy.

[shallowseeker]

Rambling about the Macleods and Castiel friendship today:

I looooove how Rowena and Crowley will go out of their way to annoy everyone:

Rowena (11x03)

Rowena: You wouldn't think a road trip with two such strapping lads could be this tedious. Shall we have a wee sing-song? Sam and Dean (in unison): No!

///

Crowley in early 12x03: YAY ROAD TRIP!

Unlike in the past, Crowley is making himself as ADORABLE AS POSSIBLE THIS SEASON, ESPECIALLY TO CAS. Hilarious change of tactics. Truly. Crowley and Rowena both want friends so badly!

Crowley singing!

12x03

&

Crowley singing again!

12x15

///

Crowley is ALSO blowing a lot of hot air this season. Which continues into the next episodes.

12x03

Cas, as usual, not reacting much to Crowley's attempts to wound. (This is partially why Crowley goads him; the game is in getting Cas to react, which... he almost never does.)

////

But it's is soooooo funny, though. Crowley calls himself a "Jay-Z" and a POWERFUL demon and keeps trying to make digs at Cas as only "kinda powerful"...

...and yet insisting Cas go ahead of him, BWAHAHA. I love Crowley so much. I never thought about how Metatron-coded hs is a lot of the time, and it's... hilarious. (I'm a huge Metatron girl, so.)

"You first, Cas, go go!"

//

Also, I'm 99% sure this is the era where Rowena notoriously flipped on Cas, deciding he was super desirable, and I'm 99% sure this drove Crowley insane.

///

Rowena is in her dating-any-men-possible era, and she instantly starts velcro-ing herself to Cas. Later we'll see her go, "Ooooh, is the handsome angel there. Hi, tweetie pie!"

////

But yeah. Metatron, Crowley, and Rowena want to be popular kids and have friends soooooooooooo bad and I love them all.

///

Literally, all Crowley wants from life is to steal Sam and Dean's (and Cas's) roles. As we saw in s10, he HATES work. He wants his life to be one long fun road trip, filled with booze and bar-hopping.

///

Also LOL at Sam assuming Rowena got some licks in and did some damage. I love that he has this wonderful assumption of Rowena's strength:

///

///

///

Crowley tries much harder than usual to muster up (transparent) bluster. He's feeling insecure, lost. He wants friends, family, security. I think he's partially throwing his weight around because Lucifer represents his deepest insecurity: his job.

Beating Lucifer is the last peak, and maybe if he climbs it, he thinks, his life will finally even out.

&

///

AHAHA. Crowley loves being annoying, and he loves trying to break Cas's poker face.

///

And speaking of uncool, Sam and Dean are pretty "uncool" this episode too, LOL!

&

VERSUS

Despite the others nagging him, it's CAS who establishes a rapport and gets the "in" this episode.

Cas does this being being unashamedly uncool, not being a yapping Hell-king, or trying to appear "hip" like Sam and Dean do.

///

And Cas's stoic heroism seems to rub off on him. Crowley, not willing to fight Lucifer for Rowena in 12x02:

Crowley, who deep down wants to be more heroic like Cas, Like "Superman"...

...Is now trying his best to be a little more of a hero, following Cas's lead (he says it's because he hates Lucifer, but we'll do Crowley take up for friends and even the rescued-girl-of-the-week in later eps: Stuck in the Middle (with you) AND Somewhere in Between Heaven and Hell.

///

A hero's entrance:

//

And again, I had a meta about this before, but it's sooooo interesting that Lucifer is using Cas as a Chuck-stand-in: "Took you long enough," like he's been waiting for Cas, specifically. Like he wants a reaction out of Cas specifically.

//

And you know what else is fun? Lucifer attacks Crowley brutally with a guitar

And two seconds later Cas doles out the same thing to Lucifer.

ANYWAY.

This is the era when Rowena starting referring to Cas as "the handsome angel," and he actually gets fidgety and shy about it, and Crowley is probably losing his mind over Rowena's developing crush on him, especially since Cas, by all appearances, treats Rowena so nicies in comparision to Crowley.

BUT! In the next episode, Cas is a little nicer to Crowley, playing along by calling him Agent Zappa. Seems like they're KINDA friends now.

[hexedwinchester]

Supernatural S04E04 Metamorphosis

Disclaimer: this is a Dean critical post so if you are a Dean girl, please proceed with caution or keep scrolling..

I love Ruby's snark

You know that funky white shirt with red block print kinda design that Sam wears in this episode? Last week when I was doing Sam's wardrobe poll, someone described this as a white shirt with red design that kinda looks it's inside out. I always thought they said that because the print color is kinda dull but no. I just noticed that the print on Sam's rolled up sleeve cuff is literally darker than the print on the rest of the shirt. So i guess.. it is kinda like inside out thing

you knew this was coming but I hate Dean here. He doesn't give Sam a chance to explain.. his first move is to punch him in the jaw. Twice! Notice how Sam doesn't fight back. While I know Dean means well and he is trying to "save Sam" from going dark, but buddy, you didn't have to punch Sam. See Sam is a reasonable guy. Ruby didn't get through by throwing punches. She literally showed Sam the silver lining of using his powers. Dean could have talked his brother out of this but no, he had to turn this into 'Me or Ruby'. So ya, Fuck off Dean!

so after punching Sam twice.. guess what he does next... Throws furniture around.. see what I mean when I say Dean's love Language is physical violence

Dean to Sam: if I didn't know you, I'd wanna hunt you. Fuck off Dean! And take your hypocrisy along with you (because you were all paly pals with Benny)

oh so now you suddenly believe Cas?? Like two episodes ago you couldn't have faith that angels existed and now you believe him??

when Dean tells Sam that God doesn't want him to doing this.. you can see him shatter.. like he is so heartbroken that for once he was trying to turn his powers and use them for good and that's still not good enough. The way he answers his call, digging fingers into his eyes, trying to hold back a sob

Cathryn Humphris.. I don't recall exactly how many episodes she wrote for Supernatural but so far after BUABS and this one.. it seems like she does well on Dark Sam themes

Dean's first thought at young Mary: Mom's a babe

Sam's first thought at young Mary: was she happy? This right here is why I love Sam more

I also don't see why Sam needed to indulge Dean about YED bleeding in his mouth. Kinda glad he doesn't for a while. He knew Dean wouldn't take it well and he didn't.. probably just looks at him like he was evil or something

Jack chomping on raw meat, blood and bits dripping down his chin, completely uncivilized.. that's the kinda gore I miss in later seasons

Dean's passive aggressiveness is just as annoying as his actual aggressiveness

i like Jack for intents and purposes

Dean to Sam: nice dude but he's got evil inside of him. Something in his blood, maybe you can relate. Really Dean??? Wtf?!

Name and address of people responsible for Sam's hair in this episode!!! He looks so damn good!!!

finally an apology from Dean.. thank you very much

You see what I mean when I say Sam's a reasonable guy.. towards the end of the episode he does say that he won't use his powers

[fandomtherapy44]

Castiel x reader Chapter 17 Free to be you and Me

Summary: SEASON 5 WHOOOO!!!!!!!! LET's GO! So I am so excited for this season so many great episodes. There are going to be a lot more Cas and Y/n scenes. And more chapters too. I do recommend that you read my first book so you get the full Y/n Winchester build-up. Okay with out further due enjoy the second book of Love War and Grace.

Paring: Castiel X Reader

WC:3.782

Warnings: Some language, Typical Supernatural violence, Spoilers for season five of Supernatural, Emotional hurt for Y/n

divider from

Firefly Graphics

POV (Y/n)

The bar I walked into smelled like how it looked: pissy and dirty. I mean, what else do you expect from a vamp nest trap set up? I put on the tightest dress I have and the most oblivious look on my face. 

“Hey, can I please have lemonade?” I asked the bartender who clearly looked down at my dress.

“Sure thing, sweet thing.” 

I looked around and the guys were looking at me like I was a steak and I was to them as vamps. He slid the drink over to me. 

“Need anything else?” He very obviously looked down at my dress. 

“Um, I think I got a little lost. Could you maybe point me in the right direction?” All he was looking at was my chest, boobs- you could never go wrong with them. 

“Of course. I'll lead you out.” He looks at his buddy’s signaling that it won't be long till their next meal. He leads me out to the alley where Ellen and Jo were waiting. 

“Sir…there's nothing out here?” I acted clueless to distract him again.

“Sorry sweetheart, you're pretty and all, but my friends and I are hungry and frankly you shouldn't have come out here with a stranger. Now you're trapped.” I could hear him fang out and his body language became cocky. I just stare at him while Jo and Ellen come out behind him with their machates drawn. 

“Ha ha ha.” He looks confused at my laughter. 

“What the Hell is so funny bitch!?” I’m laughing so much that I practically keel over.

“Oh, just that you thought you trapped me while really we trapped you.” 

“We?” Ellen goes behind holding the handle of the machete. 

“Yeah, we.” He turns to her and at the same time she decapitates him. “You okay?” She says, concerned.

“Yeah, thanks Ellen.” 

“No problem. Now, let's go get the rest of these sons of bitches.” She picks up his head and the three of us go back into the bar. Ellen kicks in the door and throws the head through the doorway. We walked in slowly, almost like an old west movie. Dean would love this. 

“Alright who’s first?”Jo announces loudly to them. All the other Vamps scream and charge at us. I went swinging like crazy and got four of them in like a minute. I was getting a little too distracted that I didn't see one come running at me. She body checked me to the ground. I struggled to get the machete- it was just out of reach. 

“Come on!” The vampire fangs out and is about to kill me when Jo comes behind and cuts her off- literally. I shoved the now dead body off of me and noticed that I was covered in Vamps blood and a little of mine. “Thank you, Jo.” I stood up to catch my breath. 

A couple hours later we got cleaned up and were celebrating with drinks after a job. We deserved it. “I want to say a toast.” I raise my glass and Jo and Ellen follow suit. “I just want to say thank you for letting me stay with you guys for the last three weeks and to feel part of the team.” We clink our glasses together. 

“Aww sweetie of course, I can say you're my favorite Winchester… just don’t tell your brothers.” Ellen leaned down to whisper to me. I get tears in my eyes but quickly wipe them away. 

“Thank you Ellen, truly.” She love taps my arm. 

“Don’t even mention it. Now I'm going to go get a second round.” She picks up the glasses and goes to the bar when Jo and I are left alone. 

“Y/n, I gotta say it's been awesome to have you around.” I blush and look around. 

“Well it’s been good to live with girls for a change. After I’ll, I’ve been living with guys my whole life. Let me just say it's nice to go to the bathroom and the toilet seat is down.” We both chuckle. “So…how long have you liked Dean?” She looks surprised by my question. 

“What do you mean?” Jo lies straight through her teeth. 

“Jo come on, I may not be an FBI agent but I am a hunter who fakes being an FBI agent. I know when someone is lying.” She glances down at the little light down on our table and sighs. 

“Since the HH Holmes case.” I remember that, it was not fun. 

“Well if anyone can handle Dean, it’s you, and I wouldn't pick anyone else.” 

“You mean that?” She asks me hesitantly. 

“Jo, you are amazing at everything you do. I have seen you run after a vamp… for over two miles! Plus, you are smart, badass, gorgeous. If that is not an awesome girlfriend, then I don’t know what is.” 

“That means a lot Y/n.” I smile at her. 

“Just telling the truth, Jo.” 

It was the middle of my night when I get a phone call waking me up easily since I was half asleep. I grab it and answer it. “Hello?” I answered in my groggy sleepy voice. 

“Hello Y/n.” I sprung right up- it was Cas. 

“Cas how- where are you?” There was a pause then he answered in his gruff voice.

“I need to know where you are.” I go to look at the notepad to find the name of the motel we were at. 

“Uh sunset moon motel in  Massachusetts on fifth street.” I answered as quickly as possible. I wait to hear an answer. 

“Hello? Cas?” Then there was a knock on my door. I open the door and there stands my best friend, Castiel. “Hey come in.” He walks in noticing the empty beds. 

“Where’s Sam and Dean?” He asks me and I look towards the beds and sigh, my heart panging with a little pain like everytime I look at them. 

“We uh… decided that a little time away from each other would be good, you know, to think about everything.” I sit down on the bed picking at my fingernails, a bad habit that I picked up a long time ago. “How is the God hunt going?” I asked him, still staring at hands. 

“It’s not, that's why I’m here.” That gets my attention that I stop fiddling with my nails. 

“What do you mean?” Cas sits down in the chair in front of me. 

“I need to find someone.” 

“Who?” He almost doesn't want to answer.

“The Archangel… that killed me.” Hearing that I shot straight up. 

“You want to look for the Angel who killed you!?” I started to pace back and forth with just a tiny bit of panic going through my body. “Yeah, ‘cause that sounds like a good choice!” I get sarcastic when I get worried. 

“Y/n, we are going to trap him for information.” He stayed calm and kind of made me more mad that he wasn't more scared to go against the Angel that killed him! 

“Like that’s going to be easy.” I stood still finally. He stands up in front of me. 

“I have a plan. Dean is Michael’s vessel, so if he wants to come, Raphel won’t dare hurt him.” Raphel huh, so that is the son of Bitch that killed him. 

“And you are one of the only people that will help me. So, are you going to help?” He asked me while boring his blue eyes into mine and of course, I wasn’t going to say no. 

“Cas, I will always help you. No matter what.” I gave him a small smile and he returned one back. “Now let's go find my brother.” 

Dean, Cas and I had driven all night to Waterville, Main. We stopped outside next to the police station. The three of us got out of Baby. “And we're here, why?” Dean inquired.

“A deputy sheriff laid eyes on the archangel.” Cas responded while looking at the building. 

“And he still has eyes? All right, what's the plan?” I mean, Dean had a point on the eye comment. 

“We'll...tell the officer that he witnessed an angel of the Lord, and the officer will tell us where the angel is.” Cas responded back so innocently. That it was almost cute. 

“Uh, Cas, if we did that we would be locked up and the key would be thrown away.” 

“Cas- let me explain something to you when humans want something so bad we lie.” Cas was confused.

“Why?” 

“Because that's how you become President.” He tapped Cas’s cheek in a friendly way and started to walk to the building when I went to fix Cas’s tie. “Sadly it’s the truth Cas but sometimes you have to lie.” He looks down at me, tightening his tie. 

“Do you?” Cas wonders.

“Not when I can help it.” I finished and glanced in his eyes, frozen for a second. I notice the state of both of us and snap out of it. “Come on, Dean will get his boxers in a twist if we don’t hurry up.” I practically run into the building and Dean is already talking to the officer. 

“Ahh there are my partners, Eddie Moscone and Kate Bush.” Dean pointed to Cas and me I take out my badge but Cas just stand there. We just stare at him and he catches on. He pulls out his badge and when he does it’s flip upside down. I try to hold back a laugh. Dean rolls his eyes and fixes it. “He's, uh, he's new. Mind if we ask you a few questions?” Dean said to the officer. 

“Yeah, sure. Talk here, though. Hearing's all blown to hell in this one.” Indicating his left ear. We went to sit in his office. 

“You mind just, uh, running us through what happened at the gas station?” I ask. 

“A call came in. Disturbance out at the Pump and Go on Route 4.” The three of us tuned in. 

“What of kind disturbance was it?” 

“Would not have believed my eyes if I hadn't seen it myself. We're talking a riot. Full scale.” 

“How many?” Dean chimed in. 

“Thirty, forty, in all-out kill-or-be-killed combat.” Walt exclaimed, not even believing his own words. 

“Any idea what set them off?” I ask, trying to get to the bottom of this. 

“It's angels and demons, probably.” Cas answered instead. The officer looks at him like he's wack. “They're skirmishing all over the globe.” Cas continues. 

“Come again?” The officer questioned. 

“Nothing. Nothing.” Dean tried to cover it up. 

“Demons. Demons.” And there goes Cas again. “Demons, you know, drink, adultery. We all have our demons, Walt.” Dean smoothly recovers. 

“I guess.” Walt looks at Cas weirdly. 

“Anyway. What happened next?” Dean asks. Walt thinks about it deeply. 

“Freaking explosion, that's what. They said it was one of those underground gas tanks, but, uh, I don't think so. It wasn't your usual fireball. It was, um—” Cas finished his sentence. 

“Pure white.” 

“Yeah. Gas station was leveled. Everyone was...it was just horrible. And I see this one guy, kneeling, real focused-like, not a damn scratch on him.” 

“Let me guess, he just, uh, vanished into thin air?” Dean said with confidence. 

“Uh, no, Kolchak. He's down at Saint Pete's.” It was Dean’s turn to be looked at like he was crazy.

We go to St Pete’s and let’s just say old Donnie looked like he had been through some shit. 

“I take it that's not Raphael anymore.” Dean commented a little wary.

“Just an empty vessel.” Cas answered. 

“So is this what I'm looking at if Michael jumps in my bones?” Cas pauses. 

“No, not at all. Michael is much more powerful. It'll be far worse for you.” Great, just great. We had shacked up in an abandoned house for the night. Dean and I were getting things together while Cas was getting something from Jerusalem. 

“So how is spending time with Ellen and Jo?” He asked me. 

“It’s been… good I mean it’s nice to finally to really get to know them.” 

“Good, good.” He grumbles, his feelings getting hurt but I didn’t see that. Then Cas pops into the room.

“How was Jerusalem?” I ask. He has an old looking pitcher in his hand. 

“Arid.” He puts it on the table. 

“What's that?” Dean gestured to the pitcher. 

“It's oil. It's very special. Very rare.” 

“Okay, so we trap Raphael with a nice vinaigrette?” I punch Dean gentily for being an a-hole. “So, this ritual of yours, when does it go down?”

“Sunrise.” Cas responded calmly. 

“Tell me something. You keep saying we're gonna trap this guy. Isn't that kinda like trapping a hurricane with a butterfly net?” I look at Cas. 

“No, it's harder.” 

“Do we have any chance of surviving this?” Dean asked, which was fair because the odds are not looking good for us. 

“You two do.” I stand up so quickly that my chair falls back and breaks. 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean Cas?” He looks at me, almost ashamed. 

“Y/n that is what is probably going to happen, I'm just being realistic… I'm sorry.” I couldn't even believe him. 

“If you were just going to give up, why even ask me to come!?” He couldn't even answer me. “Whatever, I'm not going to be around to see it.” I start to go to my things Dean tries to stop me.

“Y/n wait-” I spun around and stared at him. 

“And how could you be fine with this!?” He had the same response as Cas which was nothing. “Why do the people I always care about always have a death wish!?” Tears were pouring out of my eyes. I go into a random room and slam it behind me. I put my ear to the door to listen in. 

“Come on Cas, she just needs some time alone.” 

“Dean I-” 

“It’s okay dude, let's go.” I hear the door close but then footsteps. 

“Y/n I really am sorry.” I lean my forehead on the door. I just wasn’t ready to talk. He senses my quietness and leaves too. I slide down the door just like a cliche in a movie.

It had been about an hour and a half since they left and finally come back. I could hear Dean he was happy and laughing. I hadn't heard that genuine laugh from him in a while. It was nice. Then there was a knock at the door. 

“Y/n, can you open the door… please?” It was Cas. I wanted to scream at him and tell him to screw off but I couldn’t for some reason, so I opened the door slowly. “Can we talk?” He asked in his soft voice. 

“Oh now you want to talk, you sure you don’t want to trick me into talking to you?” He sighed and closed the door behind him. 

“I didn’t mean to trick you- I… “ He looks down, finding the words hard to say. “I did know that most likely I will die by the end of this.” When he says it, it just made it more real. “I just wanted to spend my last night with my friend.” At that I turned and I think I see a tear falling but he quickly gets rid of it. 

“Cas, you're my friend and I would spend your last night with you, but tonight is not your last night.” He raises his head at me confused. 

“Y/n there is no ‘I’m surviving Raphel’ especially after being angry from being captured.” I take his hand and pull him into a hug. 

“I just got you back. There is no way in Hell I'm going to let you go again.” I didn’t see it but Cas let the next tear fall this time in happiness.

The sun was going to rise soon, so we went back to the hospital. I poured the oil around the empty vessel and Cas threw a match to it and it lit up with holy fire. “When the oil burns, no angel can touch or pass through the flames, or he dies.” Cas said standing back. 

“Cas, now that we've trapped him, how do we get him down?” I ask. 

“Very simple. There's, well, almost an open phone line between a vessel and his angel. One just has to know how to dial.” Cas lists a series of numbers Enochian out loud. “I'm here, Raphael. Come and get me, you little bastard.” I was so proud of him cursing out his enemy- he got taught that from me. 

“Just out of curiosity, what is the average customer wait time to speak to an archangel?” Dean quipped. 

“Be ready.” 

Eight hours later…

We had gone back to the house after spending the whole day waiting. “Guys wait.” There was Raphael standing, sucking in all the electricity to make wings. If he wasn't such a dick, I would compliment him on how cool it looked. 

“Castiel.” 

“Raphael.” they said to each other. We walk closer to him. I look him up and down, just another bully with too much authority going to his head. 

“And I thought you were supposed to be impressive. All you do is black out the room.” Raphael looks at Dean like he wants to throw a dart in his eyes. 

“And the Eastern Seaboard.” Lighting strikes outside. 

“It is a testament to my unending mercy that I do not smite you here and now.” He directed to Cas. Oh, now I was itching to stab him. 

“Or maybe you're full of shit. Maybe you're afraid God will bring Cas back to life again and smite you and your big bully bullshit. By the way, hi, I'm Y/n- I'm the one who’s going to kill you.” The three of them all stare at me. 

“How dare you threaten me, you worthless cockroach.” Time to really get him riled up just to get him closer. 

“Please, I have been called way worse by five year olds, and their insults were actually smart.” At that he almost growls, and I continue talking. “You want to talk about smart? You do remember how Zachariah snapped away your heart. Well, he doesn't have anything close to my imagination.” I chuckle at him seeing him step inside the circle. “Well I bet you didn't imagine one thing.” I have the lighter in my hand. 

“What?” He asked angrily. 

“We knew you would come, you stupid motherfucking bitch.” As I said that I threw the lighter. He looks between the three of us. 

“Don't look at me, it was his idea.” Dean said, pointing at Cas. 

“Dean!” I slap his arm. 

“Where is He?” 

“God? Didn't you hear? He's dead, Castiel. Dead. But there's no other explanation. He's gone for good.”  Cas didn’t want to believe him. 

“You're lying.” 

“Am I? Do you remember the twentieth century? Think the twenty-first is going any better? Do you think God would have let any of that happen if He were alive?” I try to study him. 

“So, let me get this straight. Daddy ‘goes on a milk run’ and you and your brothers want to spit roast the planet.” He answers me. 

“We're tired. We just want it to be over. We just want...paradise.” 

“So, what, God dies and makes you the boss and you decide you can do whatever you want?” Dean joins in. 

“Yes. And whatever we want, we get.” At that, the window burst open.

“If God is dead, why have I returned? Who brought me back?” Cas questions. 

“Did it ever occur to you that maybe Lucifer raised you?” 

“No.” 

“Think about it. He needs all the rebellious angels he can find. You know it adds up.” I grab his hand and squeeze to let him know I was behind him. 

“Let's go.” We start to walk out. 

“Castiel, I'm warning you. Do not leave me here. I will find you.” Cas turns to him in the most badass way ever. 

“Maybe one day. But today, you're my little bitch.” Cas and Dean walk away but I stay. 

“Oh by the way, I will kill you for taking my best friend away. That wasn't a tactic to trap you.” He then chuckles at me. 

“You are the one who will die for him, that sorry excuse for an angel.” I step right up against the circle. 

“Really, because from where I'm standing, he trapped you.” At that I walk out. 

Later, we were driving in the Impala, when Dean decided to break the silence. 

“You okay?” Dean asks Cas. 

“Look, I'll be the first to tell you that this little crusade of yours is nuts, but I do know a little something about missing fathers.” Dean was right. I remember how far and how long we looked. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean, there were times when I was looking for my dad when all logic said that he was dead, but I knew in my heart he was still alive. Who cares what some ninja turtle says, Cas, what do you believe?” Cas sits for a sec. 

“I believe he's out there.” 

“Good. Then go find him.” 

“What about me? I don't know. Honestly, I'm good. I can't believe I'm saying that, but I am, I'm really good.”” At that I looked at him. 

“Even without your brother?” Cas asked. 

“Especially without my brother. I spent so much time worrying about the son of a bitch. I mean, I've had more fun with you in the past twenty-four hours than I've had with Sam in years, and you're not that much fun. It's funny, you know, I've been so chained to my family, but now that I'm alone, hell, I'm happy.” That brought tears to my eyes. 

“Good to know how you feel about us.”

“Cas, take me away.” Dean looked back at me and saw how hurt I was. 

“Y/n wait I didn't mean about you- wait!” Cas had already flown us off. We dropped into my motel room. 

“I can’t believe he- I-” I was at a loss for words. “How could he!-AHHH!” I kick the table, breaking it in the process. “I never asked him to-” I dropped to my knees, sobbing. Cas comes down to my level and just hugs me. “I never asked him to be there for me Cas! So how could he say that!” I sobbed into his chest. All Cas could do is just pet my head. 

“I know, I know.” I just let go.

[outofbluecomesgreen2]

Yeah, I know, “Thursday…” is a real good fic…

Of course, I have time for you Garth. I always have an open ear for you, and you know that. 

You're a real nice person and writing your parts was so much fun. Not ha-ha fun, of course not, but you are an open-minded friendly guy, a good friend… 

Speaking of: how is Larry Roman? Oh, he plans to move in with his mother? Sounds like a plan, to doesn’t sell his soul to a crossroads demon only to dominate Rome with casinos and bars. 

And, did you hear about Crowley? He didn’t try to set his arm on fire again, did he?

Good.

Since last week I was worried about him, I mean, he is such a dramatic person…

…

Yeah, still no more comments, and kudos are rare… It bugs me a bit, but what else can I do than being patient and continue writing.

…

Indeed, I do! That’s so cool! One of the coolest!! 

No, not about you guys. I’m not ready to start the continuing stories. Doing it means letting you go, and I’m not strong enough for that right now. 😢

I‘m actually writing about Gunnar Lawless, yeah, my dream come true story to be honest 😇. It will take a while, but it will be the second part of „The Holiday Episode“, with Cas and Dean and an OC, which I never tried before in fanfic 😘 I’m so excited 🥳

No, actually you can’t read it until you are not old enough, because it will be kinda spicy, but don’t worry, we’ll find you a real good fic. Go, and check my insta. 

And, can you do me a favor? I can’t reach Cas right now. I thought he would be in the bakery to work with Bobby; Jo was on the line and told me he would hang out with Dean a lot. Can you ask him, when you see him next time in the group, if he wants to visit me? Next week maybe? I think some people out there want to hear how HE is doing. It’s also been a while I talked to him. I kinda miss him☺️

Cool. Thanks buddy😉

And now, which song would you like to hear? Which one reflects your inner self… yeah, as an Arrow Ace… Arrow Ace for life! That’s the whole point

😁 🏳️‍🌈😉