#no more wanting an undead boyfriend.... THEY are the undead boyfriend now.

[zecoritheweirdone]

hehehehehhooo,, decided to draw some hermits as the mystery skulls animated gang!! why? uhhh mostly just 'cause.

special thanks to the ibaaf server for helping me pick the roles! gem is vivi,, false is arthur,, pearl is lewis,, and etho is mystery!!

better pic of pearl under the cut, where you can how lazy i am,,ms ksmsksjs

[keclan]

they’re all in love

[scoutswritingcorner]

Can I request Hazbin Hotel characters reacting to an artist!reader that draws a lot but never shows anyone their work but one day accidentally left it out and their partner finds it and sees several sketches and finished drawings of them? Sorry if it’s an odd ask, I’m an artist and I thought it would be a cute idea I don’t see nearly enough, it’s okay if you can’t. Thank you either way!!!

Artist Rendition

Hazbin Gang x GN!Reader

TW:A little flirty with Angel’s reaction. Other than that none!

A/N: Not an odd request at all, Friend! For Angel’s part I did write for a male Reader and Fem Reader for Vaggie! KINDA SHORT I APOLOGIZE FRIEND!

-🦌Alastor🦌-

-🦌 Alastor was very curious to see you carry a sketchbook around all the time. He wanted to pry so badly.

-🦌 But he didn’t, he simply ignored the book and only ever asked about it if you were near him. You always get flustered and hide the book even further. Oh now he’s wondering what kind of dark secrets you have in there~

-🦌 But to his surprise when he finds it open and on a page, he sees drawings of him, he carefully flips the page and sees a half down sketch of him sitting in front of the fireplace.

-🦌 Oh boy you just made his ego inflate and his undead heart soar to new heights. His tail starts wagging and that’s the only way someone can catch how happy he is.

-🦌 Now? He’s going to poke a little fun at you, “My Dear, if you had to pick anyone in the hotel to be your muse who would it be?” 

-🦌 Silly deer man loves you and your abilities, he often tells you that your work needs to be displayed in a museum.

-🍎Lucifer🍎-

-🍎 Oh boy- when he finds out you can draw? Oh he gets super excited and asks if you can draw him a duck- even if it’s a little doodle! He doesn’t care!

-He doesn’t really ask or pry into your hobby much but he will admit he does want to see what you draw.

-When he does see that you drew him of all people he gets all flustered and he’s prideful cause his partner?? His darling little angel drew him?!?

-He will volunteer to pose for you, he’s used to sitting still for hours on end! 

-He will even pose naked if you want him to! Just say the word and he’ll drop his clothes right there.

-🎰Husk🎰-

-🎰 He watched you sit at the bar and draw to your heart's content and never really commented on it.

-🎰 When he does peek into your sketchbook it’s to pull behind the bar into a safe place so nothing ruins your work.

-🎰That’s when he notices the drawings and doodles of him and his tail curls happily. The way you captured him doing menial tasks sends his heart into overdrive.

-🎰 You were too good for him, damn it. The next time you find it? It has a little sticky note on the cover of your sketchbook and it has a little drawing of you with a small message, “Had to go out with Alastor. Love you, Dollface.” 

-🕷️ Angel Dust 🩷-

-🕷️ Oh this man- he loves it! You’re an artist and he’s also like an artist! But of a very very different genre.

-🩷 He also doesn’t pry much as he understands privacy. He wants to give you that as much as he can since he doesn’t get much of it.

-🕷️ Once he finds out you draw him? He’s over the fucking moon cause his man? His precious boyfriend draws him! 

-🩷Expect him to start flirting more and more but with art related flirts. “Come on, Suga’~ Draw me like one of your french girls~” im sorry. He’s very supportive!

-👑Charlie👑-

-👑 oh this baby girl..she’s been so busy lately that if she did notice it completely slipped her mind!

-👑 But when she finds your sketchbook? She gets super excited cause you draw this good?? She’s so proud that she immediately goes to find you!

-👑 She is another who fully supports you! You need anything, don't hesitate to ask!

-👑 Will try to convince you to start painting for the hotel! You can say no it won’t offend her.

-🎀Vaggie🎀-

-🎀 Much like Husk she won’t point it out or comment on it.

-🎀Will find out you draw her when she sees it when cleaning up and gets all blushy cause this is how you see her?

-🎀 Comes clean immediately about seeing your drawings and tells you how amazing they are.

-🎀 Shyly asks if she can pose for you next time, how could you say no to her?

[sweet-as-an-angel]

Vampire Simon “Ghost” Riley Headcanons

Warnings: Implications of Smut, Implications of Degrading, Aftercare, Feeding, Jealous Simon, Possessive Simon, Fluff, Mentions of Blood, Petnames, Self-Conscious Simon, No Pronouns used for Reader except ‘You’.

Ghost is one of the oldest vampires to inhabit the planet, and as a result, has tremendous self-control when it comes to feeding.

He’ll only feed from you if you let him, and he won’t feed from anyone or anything else.

The thought of tasting another person’s blood repulses him. Makes him feel dirty.

After all, you’re the only one for him, so why would he enact such an intimate encounter with someone else ?

He’ll get extremely jealous if you let someone else feed from you, btw.

Even if it’s a dire situation and it’s someone he knows well – Soap, for instance – he’ll struggle to not let his mind wander, to contemplate whether you enjoy having Johnny attached to your throat like a leech.

Sulky vampire boyfriend hours !!!

You’ll have to reassure him that he’s still your favourite (and only !) “Big teddy boy~”.

He secretly (shamefully) loves feeding from you.

And I don’t mean in just a romantic sense; I’m talking full-on primal instinct.

Whenever he has you pinned under him and is taking you, he can smell how close you are to your end by the scent of your blood.

And he waits, calling you every whorish synonym under the sun, smoothing over your tears with promises of love that you already know until your body gives out and you wail, back arching into Simon’s chest as his fangs sharpen and plunge into the juncture of your neck.

Your blood is a fine delicacy, but in this moment, during the pinnacle of mortal euphoria, it is exquisite.

He doesn't drain you; just takes what he knows your body can take.

And despite how rough he can be with you, when there’s blood – your blood –involved, he’s nothing but gentle.

His favourite part of the evening is when he pulls you into his arms and a trickle of blood runs down your chest and he gets to run his tongue along it; a red mercy.

Simon’s big on aftercare btw.

He’s not letting you get out of bed for at least a full day afterwards; not until you’re fully healed.

The longer a vampire goes without feeding, the more of their true form appears.

It takes energy to keep his human skin intact, so if Ghost hasn’t been drinking, his features become gradually more monstrous as the days go by.

He’ll wear his mask when this starts to happen.

He loves you, trusts you with every ounce of his existence. But he doesn’t want you seeing him. The real him.

It doesn’t matter how many times you tell him that you love him “Regardless of what’s underneath your pretty boy face !” – he’s not letting you see it.

Often, your reassurances turn into quick ‘self-love’ sessions in the nearest, most convenient spot, ending with Simon gasping and whining beneath your touch.

He knows his vampire form isn’t easy to look at. A man’s heart once gave out the second he caught sight of Simon without his human face on.

And he doesn’t want that for you.

He just loves you too much.

Speaking of; he’s always hinting towards turning you into a vampire.

Like, constantly.

He brings it up at some of the most inopportune moments – like when you’re cooking dinner or trying to 

Once, to shut him up, you told him (jokingly) that he’d have to “Marry me before I let you turn me !”

And that put a dangerous little idea in Simon’s head.

Now, he’s always trying to find the perfect opportunity to propose to you – to turn you.

He’s not stupid, he knows that tone in your voice meant you weren’t being entirely serious.

But it gave him hope. A rare commodity in the world of an undead.

He has about ten engagement rings hidden in your shared home, each having been tweaked and perfected to be as timeless as possible.

You’re the most wonderful human there is, in Simon’s eyes, so you deserve the best.

So be on the lookout for that faraway look in his eye as he peers into a future he doesn’t think can come soon enough; one where your love will outlive all those that have come before and after.

A life where, for the first and last time, Simon has a constant in his life.

You.

Domestic Vampire Boyfriend !!!

He’ll cook for you whenever you ask him to, no questions asked.

Though, he won’t be handling any garlic.

Or be going near you when you’ve eaten it.

Soap constantly tries to bring up embarrassing stuff Simon’s done.

Which is why he’s always at your side whenever the 141 come over.

He can’t risk johnny jeopardising the slick, suave, sophisticated image of a loving boyfriend (and stone-cold killer) he’s cultivated for himself. Well, for you, mainly.

“Ey, did’ya know that once when Si and I were just wee vampires, that he almost set a whole town on fire because he forgot he burns up in the sun–”

“That’ll do, Johnny.”

“Aww, it’s okay, Sim-Sim,” you say. “You’re still my favourite little leechie in the whole world !”

He is going to get bullied by his associates after that, but if it’s to hear your sweet praises, he’ll gladly tolerate it.

Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously and it is greatly appreciated :-)

Masterlist Masterlist [Continued] Masterpost Modern Warfare AI Masterlist

AO3 Wattpad

[1800jjbarnes]

◆ 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 ◆

Kinktober is finally here. Sorry this took so long... I have been quiet sick. This is my first time writing this event as well, so eh. If it's bad im sorry. But, without further ado, let's get started. ♥︎

All works are mature, viewers be advised.

Masterlist

—

Day 1: Car Sex - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : A trip turned sour due to a storm. But, luckily, Steve knows just the thing in turning this gloomy day into a more steamy one.

Day 2: Voyeurism - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Biker Gang Leader doesn't like sharing unless it's to do with his best friend.

Day 3: Shower Sex - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : When Bucky comes from a long and stressful day, he only wants one thing... You bent over.

Day 4: Food Play - [STEVE ROGER]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : It all started with a simple dinner and a movie. But when Steve asked if you wanted dessert, you knew your sugar was about to spike from more than just the sweetness of the fruits and chocolate.

Day 5: Exhibitionism - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Bucky couldn't keep his hands off you on a regular basis. But when he sees you in such a sexy outfit, he has no choice but to drag you to the nearest bathroom.

Day 6: Rough/Possessive sex - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You wanted to show your hot-headed lover that you could protect yourself. And what better way than to go looking for his number on rival....

Day 7: Thigh riding/dry humping - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You sweet producer boyfriend wanted to share something with you. But your neediness had other plans.

Day 8: Sensory Deprivation - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You were his work of art, and he loved to watch you squirm under him.

Day 9: Cock Warning - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Bucky kept getting lost over and over again. Becoming increasingly more frustrated with the technology in front of him as time passes, it's a good thing you are here to help him cool off.

Day 10: Bondage - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : It's Bucky turn to know what it feels like to have rope pull and tug on his beautiful skin, and he can't help my whimper at the sheer idea of it.

Day 11: Bike Sex - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Bucky had begged for weeks for you to go for a ride with him... Cavinging in, you finally realize how pleasurable it is to ride his bike.

Day 12: Size Kink/Size Difference - [STUCKY]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Your two professors were more than happy to show you some tips and tricks to help you study.

Day 13: Breath Play - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Bucky can't help but send death glares to any man who tried to have your attention for too long. Too bad you don't belong to him… yet.

Day 14: Marking/Biting - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Wanda needed your help with trying out one of her experiments, and let's just say Steve was about to never let you leave the bedroom ever again because of it.

Day 15: Dumbification/Corruption - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Bad Boy Bucky wanted to change for you. Be the better man you deserved, but what if you ended up changing more than him?

Day 16: Spit Play - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You were in love with the enemy, and oh, how it was it exciting.

Day 17: Fingering/Squirting - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You needed him, any part of him. But Steve wanted to see you squirm. To see you cry and beg for him to satisfy you.

Day 18: Toys/Mirror Sex - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Steve couldn't decide what gift to buy you while he was on a mission in paris. So he bought them all and now wants you to try them out. Every. Single. One.

Day 19: Dacryphillia - [STUCKY]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : late night conversations aren't supposed to end in sex... right?

Day 20: Sex pollen - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You were gifted an Asgardian plant from Thor since he knew you loved greenery. Little did anyone know the pollen had some weird side effects when inhaled.

Day 21: Temperature Play - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Your undead lover had finally come back from a late night hunt, finding you shivering from the winter weather. But do not fret, as he was...skilled in keeping others warm-ish.

Day 22: Double Penetration - [STUCKY]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You're the newest member to join one of the most famous rock bands. And luckily for you they are all hot...and fuckable.

Day 23: Praise/Body Worship -[BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Overhearing for so-called friends make fun of your "failures" in life made your loving mobboss boyfriend very unhappy. No one makes his Doll cry.

Day 24: Cum eating overstim - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Stevie couldn't help it. Every time he saw you, he felt himself grow heavy in his slacks. You were everything he needed. And he needed you now.

Day 25: Caught in the act - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You wanted to help your boyfriend relax. It just so happened that some poor soul decided to interrupt.

Day 26: Sir Kink/Mafia both - [STUCKY]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You were hiding a big secret from your two loving boyfriends. What happens when they finally find out?

Day 27: Succubus/incubus - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Halloween is filled with spooky ghost stories and haunted places. But what if you end up walking right into a nightmare that was hiding a dream?

Day 28: Tentacles - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You're a Mercenary, searching for your next job in the galaxy. Little did you know, being stuck on a wateland planet was about to gift you more than just galactic credits.

Day 29: Monster Fuckers - [BUCKY BARNES]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Rain was pouring, and your heart was aching. You didn't care what the villagers nor that priest thought about him. You loved him, and you were going to prove it.

Day 30: Werewolf On Heat/Breeding - [STEVE ROGERS]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You didn't know what it meant to be on heat, let alone know you could have one since you weren't a wolf... but here you were, and Bucky was going to help you through it.

Day 31: Dilf And Filth - [STUCKY]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Your professors just want to help you learn and gain knowledge. Your first lesson happened to be very educational...

—

© 1-800-JJBarnes. Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, repost, or use my work in any way, shape, or form.

[long-live-astronerd-ghost-king]

DP x DC prompt. ~“Unstable connection”~ Dead on main.

Part 9.3. "A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you." — Elbert Hubbard

~~~~~

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4. Part 5. Part 6. Part 7.

Part 8. Part 9. New: Part 9.1. Part 9.2. Part 9.3.

Part 10. Part 11. Part 12. Meme break №1. Part 13.

Roy: Look, I’m deeply flattered that you decided to talk about your feelings with me because you bats are allergic to them, but you’re seriously telling me that you’re texting a guy from out of Gotham? What for?

Jason: Do I need a reason?

Roy: Usually not, but I know you’re paranoid.

A cookie flies straight into Roy’s head.

Jason: Shut up. I know how to relax. He’s just a guy. No harm from boyf- a friend.

Roy: What you see in him? No, I rather have to ask how he tolerates you. I deserve a reward for being your best friend.

Jason: Hey, actually, I like Bizarro a lot more, just so you know, jerk. And we actually have more in common than it seems. He gets along with dead people who hang out in his town a lot. And.. I don’t know, okay? It’s just easy to talk to him, and he doesn’t seem like the kind of person who would yell if he found out about me something weird for any other stranger. He feels like home. Safe one. I can rest when I talk to him, you know?

Roy: So you trust him? With everything?

Jason: I’m not an idiot and I’m not going to reveal everything until we talk offline. I don’t even know if I want to. Of course he’s not afraid of the undead from his town and he didn’t convict Hood for his actions when I asked him for his opinion, but talking about a specific person and some vigilante from the shadows is different. I don’t want him to be afraid of me or be disappointed in me. But somehow part of me believes that he will take this side of me. I sent him a picture with knives on my thighs, and he didn’t care. And one time, I messed up the chats and I sent him a threat that was meant to check on my new guys. He yelled at me. Because I could be reported to the police.

Roy: Well, if you like him, just try not to screw it up.

Jason: I’m trying. And by the way if Dick finds out about our conversation, I’ll throw you in the river.

Roy: Dude, you’ve known me for years! I bet you don’t threaten your lover like that! Have some trust.

Jason: Okay. So, I don’t know what to do, Roy. Fenton is perfect. But he’s a civilian. Phantom looks dead handsome but I know almost nothing about him. And what I know I learned from Danny. And now the fic that I’m writing is full of adult-rated scenes. Of course, I don’t add them to my work on ao3, but it’s still so weird.

Roy: Have you tried sending this to Fenton? With any luck, he’ll take it as flirting.

Jason: What? Hell no! He thinks I’m a mercenary for Red Hood. He’s gonna think I have wet fantasies about my boss and I’m gonna lose all self-respect, and he’s gonna block me and...

Roy: Okay, okay, slow down a little. We both know you’re weird, but you’re not that weird. And he’s not even your boyfriend. So his opinion doesn’t really matter.

Jason *whispers*: He's my husband. And it does.

Roy: Dude, I mean, I support your vibe but isn’t this guy supposed to know that he’s gonna have the title of the husband of a crime lord first.

Jason: Fair.

~~~~~~~

~Next morning~

Dick: So, I heard my Little Wing has a boyfriend. What’s his name? When are you bringing him to the family dinner?

Jason:…I’m gonna kill Harper. ~~~~~~~

Bizarro *on his way to tell all to Artemis and impress his good friend’s boyfriend*. First, he can leave a Red Hood doll by the window of a couple of his friend. It’ll help him understand that Bizarro isn’t dangerous and then the boy will want to be his friend too. Good plan, Pup Pup!

[facioleeknow]

Dessert ° Hwang Hyunjin

Your vampire boyfriend loves to treat you and take care of you, in more ways than one ;)

Wc: 893 Genre: smut 18+ ONLY, Vampire AU

Tw: smut, Vampire Hyunjin, oral, biting, blood, blood drinking, mention of food and eating, public sex

Part of my valentine's day collab!

When Hyunjin told you the truth about what he really was you were shocked to say the least. It took you some time and some pondering to accept his nature and to not instinctively be afraid of him. The thought of breaking up with him did cross your mind but the way he behaved was not dangerous, in fact he cherished and protected life. The love you felt for him was way too powerful to ignore and when you went back to him, he welcomed you like you never left, with open arms.

Having a vampire boyfriend had clearly its downfalls; he was an undead creature and to survive he needed to take life from others. It was a bloody life, literally. But it also had its perks. Hyunjin had lived thousands of years, had hundreds of lovers and knew his emotions and what he wanted. That sureness was what attracted humans the most, the confidence he exuded was intoxicating. It was also what pulled you in at first, that confidence, and what made you feel safe now as months had passed and you were well into your relationship.

Another perk was the money. He was loaded because he didn’t need to eat nor drink nor do most things that humans spent money on. It would be a lie to say that you didn’t like being spoiled. And spoil you he did,he always bought you the finest dresses and jewelry and offered you the most delicious food.

That’s why when a box arrived at your house on valentine's day with a simple “wear this tonight “ note, you weren’t surprised, nor were you surprised when he parked his car in front of one of the most expensive restaurants in town.

He had booked a private room for you two, “only the best for you my love” he said and then the chef had dropped your food off and left. You were alone.

The food was amazing, everything melted in your mouth and the different flavors were paired so well together that a little gasp escaped your mouth. Hyunjin chuckled at your reaction. He wasn’t eating, he had told you once that human food all tasted bland to him after he was turned, but he had a glass of wine in his hand that he sipped lazily. 

You devoured the meal under Hyunjin’s attentive gaze.

“It was great, baby. Thank you,” you looked at him with shiny eyes. Your boyfriend simply grasped your hand and started to gently drag his thumb along your smooth skin.

“How about some dessert, my love? We could split it,” he asked with a sultry voice. Your brows furrowed in confusion.

“You don’t like human food.”

“You are right, my love, but there is one dessert that I particularly love.”

You gasped in excitement,  it was the first time you heard of Hyunjin liking human food.

“Then we should order it,” you looked around for a waiter to no avail.

“There is no need, my love, it’s here already,” he smiled at you wickedly.

In a matter of seconds the plates were on the floor and you were propped on the table. 

“Hyunjin, the plates,” you whimpered as you felt his fingers drag along your thighs, left bare when your  dress rode up.

The vampire’s cold fingers creeped up your thighs and reached your hips.

“No panties? Naughty girl,” he purred in your ear.

“It’s your valentine’s present, do you like it?” you gasped as he kissed and licked at your neck.

“I love it, my love, I need to reward you for this fantastic present.”

Hyunjin gently pushed you to lay your back on the table, his fingers slowly pried your legs open and his eyes fixed on your already wet cunt.

“Baby,” you squirmed, trying to close your legs.

“You have the prettiest pussy, my love,” he moaned at the sight of you. 

His tongue delved between your legs, little moans and whimpers could be heard both from you and him. His long fingers massaged your thighs firmly. He lapped and sucked at your swollen clit, sending waves of pleasure up and down your spine.

“Baby, I feel empty,” you whined. Hyunjin hummed, the vibrations making you see stars. His pointer finger pushed against your little hole. Your pussy swallowed his fingers greedily.

Your back arched off the table, Hyunjin always made you see stars.

“Baby, can I drink? Just a little,” he begged.

“Please Hyunjin, bite me.”

You felt his tongue leave your clit just to be replaced by his thumb. He rubbed at your little bundle of nerves mercilessly while his fingers scissored inside of you, you wouldn’t have been able to last long if he kept that up. His sharp teeth delicately nipped the skin of your thigh and then sinked in, at the same time his thumb pressed more into your clit and started rubbing with more vigor. 

Your boyfriend let out a little moan at the taste of your blood, but it only lasted a moment as he parted from you a second later.

His mouth swiftly got back to his place between your legs. His fingers bent and pushed against that sweet sweet spot inside you, his mouth sucked harshly at your pussy.

The knot inside your stomach snapped and you saw white. The pleasure overwhelmed your senses.

“Sweet as always.”

[meanbossart]

do you have any thoughts on cazador as a character? personally i really loved the parallels between him and astarion & the way that the master/spawn relationship is used as an allegory for cyclical abuse. the scene with cazador’s master’s skull where you find out that he was once victimized in the exact same way that he later victimized astarion was really a lightbulb moment for me re: what vampirism represents in this game.

BOY DO I, i don't think much of it hasn't already been said, though. He's a tragic character in his own right of course, not that that takes away from the awful man he is.

Me and my boyfriend make fun of him a lot, we call him "the best BG3 character" as a little inside joke between us and come up with ridiculous scenarios of things that might have occurred throughout those 200 miserable years the spawn had under his command lol. Maybe he had a month where he was really specific about the shoes everyone wore, maybe once every other decade he had a weird week where he tried to be "nice" only to become frustrated when his efforts weren't immediately met in kind by the rightfully-terrified spawn, maybe between all the torture and horrific-ness he just did some plain weird shit like making someone crouch by in his fainting couch and wait by open-handed for grapes that he dramatically chewed on and then spat right out since he can't actually eat them lmao

And that's hysterical but I think we also started doing that because when you meet Cazador, when you first hear his voice and see his demeanor in person your immediate reaction is probably somewhere along the lines of "THIS is the clown you were so scared of, Astarion?"

And the answer is, of course, yes. This embarrassing little man stuck in a cage of his making instills fear beyond comprehension in Astarion and all his siblings. This man who undoubtedly showed all these spawn, inadvertently, the strangest, most arguably "human" aspects of himself at some point or another during these two centuries they had together is also an absolute monster. And i really like that! I think its far more effective and fitting for his story than if he was, lets say, a Ketheric type.

(this got very long so, more under the cut)

Look at Ascended Astarion in the epilogue now, for example. Everyone agrees that he's an absolute fucking dork - and I think we all also agree that he will go on to destroy the lives of many people beyond repair, especially his own, until the day he is killed.

In the topic of vampirism as an allegory for abuse, I both agree and also don't, at least not exactly - i just think it's deeper than that. I've spoken about this in another post but i find it incredibly refreshing how, to me, it seems like Baldur's Gate 3 has no interest in painting vampirism as sexy or fun past a surface level. It's a curse that nobody asks for unless put in a situation where they feel as if they have no other way out, and it shapes and haunts you for the rest of your undead existence.

Even if you enjoy its benefits at first, that has a time limit. You will see your family and loved ones die, you will see culture evolve while you stay perpetually the same. You will experience so much hurt and pain because the only thing that makes life truly sweet is knowing that it is finite, and eventually it will wear down all of your humanity. And since you can't die unless you are scorched by the sun, staked, or dismembered, you must live with the knowledge that you will never have a peaceful death - and since you won't have a peaceful death, you better not die - and if you don't want to die, you better not be weak - and if you don't want to be weak, you must seek out power at all cost and slash things like love and friendship out of your life.

And what is funny, is that in his attempt to be more like a mortal - to eat, drink, walk the sun, such incredibly simple desires - Cazador (and Astarion, if he ascends) is accidentally only drawing further away from the person he supposedly once was, because that fear of weakness has already utterly corrupted his soul.

That's quite a grim way to look at it, of course. But I genuinely think that it is the natural conclusion of something like immortality.

That's why I quite like that, even after Astarion has found happiness, even after he finds his peace, he still doesn't exactly embrace being a vampire - because It's not something he should be expected to embrace. I think it's a very unique take on the trope.

I also want to leave here this message written by his character writer, which really got me thinking about him on a deeper level since i saw it months ago. It is specifically about the sexual aspect, but I think it branches beyond it too, when you think about it.

[strawberryscribblesandwrites]

Vampires vs Bath time

Marko x reader x Paul

Summary: your two blond vampire boyfriends visit you and things get a little steamy ;)

Author's note: I might do full smut part two we shall see

A cool breeze ruffled my hair, the smell of the sea being carried by it. That was one of the few perks of living right near the boardwalk, the fresh smell of the salty ocean.

Another perk was that I was close to my boys.

Ah, my boys. How could I begin to describe my undead delinquents? Well you have David, the ring leader, charming sinister energy to him at first but once you get to know him he had a soft spot for his lost boys. Dwayne is the silent brooding type, he loves reading and riding his bike with the others. Marko and Paul, the messy mischief makers filled with a childish hyperactiveness to them.

When I first met my boys they were well they were kind of a mess, only washing in the ocean, living then with frizzy matted hair- they would occasionally use the public showers near the boardwalks, but after meeting them I was adamant that they should keep good hygiene, especially if we were to all be in a relationship. David and Dwayne followed my rule and would pop in to have a proper hot shower or bath.

Now, Paul and Marko.... would try their best to remember but they would often get caught up in their shenanigans.

My radio was playing a loud rock song that reminded me of a thrilling night in the cave. I danced around my room without a care until the sound of a shrill wolf whistle and catcalling made me jump out of my skin. Spinning around to face my open window, I saw none other than the pair of blonde vamps. Their faces and clothes smeared with thick blood.

"What the hell" I whisper shouted at them.

"Aww baby don't be like that, it was a good show" Paul said with a smirk while Marko was giggling like a mad man. "Hurry in before anyone sees you" I said, shaking my head trying to suppress a smile at their antics.

"Do not touch anything" I said sternly as they came through my window. I walked to my set of draws and got the pair some comfy clothes to chuck on while I put their blood-drenched clothes in the wash. "Let me guess you were playing with your food and got too messy?" I asked them over my shoulder. "You could say that” David said “We were starting to stink up the place" Marko mumbled, like a child being told off. "I think we could have gone a few more days before we needed a good wash" Paul said in a joking manner.

"Gross" I stated.

Putting the boy's respective comfy clothes on my bed, I turned to the pair to inspect which of them needed a more thorough approach. Looking at Paul, he didn't seem too bad. His hair was stiff, as were his clothes- covered in deep, sticky blood. But other than that he didn't seem too bad. Marko, on the other hand, had his shirt half ripped and his soaked jacket looked particularly crusty. His chaps had seen better days, not to even mention how his hair was stuck together, all matted with blood clots.

"Paul you're up first, Marko baby you need extra care. I swear if you boys continue this I'll start treating you like actual dogs and just put you in the paddling pool and hose you down" I threatened

"Woof" Marko said smirking causing Paul to explode with laughter

"Sugar, we aren't that bad" he said breathlessly between laughs. I just hummed in response, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the bathroom. "Baby, you just stay there. You can read some comics on my desk, I don't mind you getting a mess on my desk chair" I told him over my shoulder.

Turning on the taps of my bath, I added some soap and set some shampoo, conditioner and body wash on the side of the tub.

"Strip" I said pointing to the bath.

"Oooh, no need to be so snappy. If you wanted me naked you should just ask nicely" he said in a seductive tone.

"Not tonight casanova" I told him, causing him to pout.

I walked out of the bathroom giving him his privacy to get in the tub. Waiting, till I heard him shout through the door he was ready. I opened the door to collect his clothes.

"Hey baby, do you think you can wash my hair?" he asked softly. "Of course I can sweetie" I smiled.

Popping my head back into my room after I had put Paul's clothes into the washing machine, I was met with the sight of Marko, with his feet kicked up on my desk engrossed in one of my many comics. I made my way back to the bathroom, knocking on the door and waiting for a response before making my way in.

Paul lay in the bath, his wet hair pooling around his broad shoulders, his face and chest absent of the blood that was there earlier that night. "Hey Paulie" I said softly as I kneeled by the bath. He gave me a sweet smile as he sat up giving me better access to his head.

I truly loved nights like these with my boys. Sure they were killers, but they were also the boys that always treated me with love and care.

Kissing Paul's shoulder, I leaned for the shampoo, squirting some on my hand and massaging it into his scalp, causing Paul to let out a soft groan, my nails raking across his head."Have I told you how much I love you?" Paul breathlessly groaned as I started pouring water gently over his hair. “I'm always happy to hear it baby” I said, kissing his shoulder again.

I continued rinsing his hair until it was free of soap, repeating the process with the conditioner. “I could get used to this” Paul sighed, as the water sloshed round the tub as he started to stand up. “Well, I'm glad to hear that because I would prefer it if my boyfriend didn't smell like a corpse when I see him” I chuckled, wrapping a towel around his waist before he stepped out of the bath. “Aww, don't you find the smell of rotting sexy babe” he teased, wrapping his arms around my shoulders, pulling me into his bare chest. “Hmmm. Nope. I don’t think it is” I joked into his chest.

“Come on pretty boy, Marko needs a bath and a good scrub” I said, kissing his chest, causing a deep rumble to spread through him.

“Your clothes are on the bed and the hair dryer is in my desk drawer” I said, opening the door of the bathroom for him.

I leaned down putting my hand in the now lukewarm water to pull out the plug and let it drain .

Leaning my shoulder against the doorframe of my room, I watched as Paul moved over to my desk where Marko was sat. Paul leaned over him to get to the draw, allowing Marko to quickly lean up and kiss his jaw. “You smell nice” he told him. “Thanks bud” he said with a soft smile, retrieving the hair dryer.

Moving back to the bathroom as the last of the bath water emptied out, I replugged it, filling it with hot water and more soap, waiting until the bath was full until I called on Marko.

After a few minutes, he hadn't come. I decided to see why he was taking so long, walking over to my desk and leaning down over his shoulder. “Marko baby, why aren't you coming to the bathroom?” I asked softly.

“Babe, this comic is bitchin’. Look!” he said, excitedly showing me the panels of two characters fighting. Chuckling, I kissed his temple. “That's pretty cool, but ya gotta get a wash baby”. He groaned as he put the comic down.

We both moved to the bathroom where the bath was almost full of hot water and soap. “Pass me your jacket” I told the blond vampire. He shrugged off his jacket with a sigh. Giving a quick thank you, I moved his jacket to the kitchen where I could hand wash it.

I knocked on the door of the bathroom and waited for the okay from Marko to come in.

“Hey” he said, as I entered the steamy bathroom. “Hi” I smiled.

Marko was sat up straight in the water. Unlike Paul, he hadn’t bothered to rid his face and chest of congealed and dried blood .

Kneeling by the bathtub, I soaked the washcloth in the water, bringing it up to Marko’s face and gently scrubbed his chin. “You're both such messy eaters, you know that?” I asked with a chuckle. “We can’t help it babe, we just get a lil excited is all” he stated with a smile. I chuckled slightly at his response.

Gently, I grabbed his chin and tilted his head back so that I could wipe the blood from his neck. Occasionally, I would re-wet the cloth until his neck was clear of blood. I placed a set of soft kisses on his neck, up to his jawline. Pulling away from Marko, I dipped the cloth back in the water.

“Why are you so gentle with us?” he questioned.

“What do you mean?” I asked, while tilting my head and smiling softly.

“Well, I mean, you’re so soft with us. You make sure we are clean, and I mean- well look at you. You’re cleaning a bloodthirsty creature of the night” he stated. “I mean, you wash Pauls hair, you give David massages when he gets worked up, you sit and read with Dwayne, and don’t even get me started on how soft you are with Laddie. You buy him allsorts. You treat us so well and I don’t understand why” he said bewildered

“Hmm. Well, the answer is simple” I said as I brought my soapy hand up to his cheek. “It’s because I love you all, so very dearly” I smiled sweetly.

Marko broke out into a wide smile. “Awww, babe. You love us? Ewww” He joked as he pulled me into a kiss.

Pulling away, I gave him a soft look.“Alright lover boy, I should really wash your hair now. It’s all matted” I said. Sternly grabbing the bottle of shampoo, I started to lather his hair. “It smells like you” he mumbled to himself as I continued the process of lathering and rinsing until there were no more suds in his hair.

Grabbing the conditioner, I gently raked it through his hair before grabbing a comb to get the knots out of his curly hair, being careful not to pull and hurt him. Once I was done running the conditioner through his hair, I rinsed it all out.

“Alright, I'm gonna give your jacket a wash. I’m sure you can handle the rest from here” I said. Standing from the bathroom floor, I moved to the door.

Before I stepped down the stairs I went to check on Paul, he was on my bed, towel still low on his hips as he read one of the comics Marko had earlier. He’d turned the rock music on my radio higher, seeming comfortable

I carefully made my way down the stairs with the rest of Markos clothes in my arms. I walked into the kitchen, putting his jeans and shirt in the washing machine and setting it away along with Paul's clothes. The sloshing sound of the washer filling with water engulfed the silent kitchen. Grabbing Marko’s jacket, I filled the sink with cold water and detergent then began gently scrubbing at the blood stains, carefully, so as to not ruin it. I hummed a random song I had heard from the radio earlier as I worked away to rid the jacket of all the blood soaking it.

I stiffened as a pair of cold hands made their way round my waist.

“What you doing down here all by yourself?” Paul hummed huskily in my ear as his hand made its way under my shirt.

“Ah! Paul baby, your hands are freezing” I squealed, trying to squirm away from him.

“Well, you can help me warm them up” He mumbled against my skin. Paul started to drag his lips slowly down my neck until he reached the junction where my neck met my shoulders. I hummed at the feeling of his soft lips on the crook of my neck, the sensation sending shockwaves through my body.

“I heard you and Marko in the bathroom” He whispered as he began kissing and nibbling back up my neck to my ear, causing me to let out a low huffy breath. “We love you too” he said as he pulled away, causing my hairs to stand on end.

Groaning at the loss of one of my vampire boyfriends body on mine, I turned to see his face lit up with a devilish smirk.

“Come on, Marks waiting” He informed, deciding I could finish washing markos jacket later. I dried my hands on a dish towel before following Paul up the stairs to my room.

As I entered the room I was met with the sight of Marko drying his hair with the spare towel I had given him earlier.

“Hey baby” He said joyfully with a smile. I chuckled at his joy. Paul had once again wrapped himself around me as he swayed to the rock music on the radio. He would occasionally place kisses along my neck.

Marko soon made his way over to us both. He placed one of his hands on my hips as he brought the other to my cheek to pull me into a passionate kiss.

The feeling of Marko’s lips on mine mixed with the feeling of Paul’s nibbling kisses and occasionally licking my neck made my head spin.

“Boys” I groaned at there attack as I pulled away from Marko for air, leaning my head back.

This only allowed the pair to continue their attack. Marko dove in, attaching his lips to the underside of my jaw.

Paul pulled away giggling. “Aww, look Marko, we have them melting” Paul teased, causing the other boy to pull away with a smile.

“You boys are the worst”. I groaned at the loss of their touch.

“You sure about that sugar?” Paul said as he tilted my chin to pull me into a passionate kiss. Marko trailed his cold hands from my hips up my stomach, the feeling of his cold fingertips trailing up my chest sent shivers down my spine, causing me to let out a moan into the kiss with paul.

Marko continued his path, his cold hand grabbed my chest with a dark chuckle. “Your heart is beating so fast baby. Do we really get you going that bad?” He said as he lifted my shirt and kissed my hip before he made his way up my stomach. The feeling of his soft breathing on my skin made my stomach muscles tense. It felt like the most heavenly torture.

He pulled away, making me internally groan. “You made them all whiney” Paul cooed in mock sympathy, causing Marko to giggle as he pulled my shirt off.

His nails gently dragged my hips closer to his face the cold tip of his nose hitting just above my hip made my body shiver in anticipation, Markos eye flitted up to mine then to pauls.

Paul's hand trailed up my chest his hand trailed up my chest to my his hands were soft as he moved my head slightly to the side and slowly licked up my neck before I felt the nipping feeling of his teeth dragging along the tender skin below my ear. Marko had pulled away from my hip his fingers digging under the hem of my jeans with a smirk “mmm hey paul do you think they are desperate enough” he rasped to the other vampire “nope” paul replied Marko breathily My room once filled with loud rock music was replaced by my own breathy wines and moans mixed with the raspy teasing giggles of Marko and paul they really did love teasing.

[hello-from-the-night-archives]

hello from the hallowoods dashboard simulator

😈 valerie-meme-stone

I'm not ready for my spotify wrapped to just be stonemaiden. like i get it spotify i know i'm gay

53 notes

📝 the-poetry-panopticon Follow

Unfriendly reminder not to sign up for a Dreaming Box subscription! The Botulus Corporation is not to be trusted! Here's an article explaining the language in their contract and why it's concerning! In addtion, they use AI generated images in the Prime Dream, which we should all know by now is unethical.

14,034 notes

🥗 bisexualranchdressing Follow

dang this is crazy. i thought wildfire smoke was bad but what the fuck is this????

🌅 nerdy-tragedy-theorist Follow

well according to color theory

🌅 nerdy-tragedy-theorist Follow

never mind i've got nothing

739 notes

⚡ evil-electrician Follow

friendly reminder to stop spreading misinformation about the black water! people are saying that it brings people and animals back to life but that's not exactly true! although their body may be back, they're not the same person and they will likely become violent and dangerous. please stay inside and be really careful what you and your pets eat or drink.

🐈‍⬛ cats-not-capitalism Follow

fuck you op i'm keeping my undead cat

⚡ evil-electrician Follow

good luck keeping your fingers

48,230 notes

🐧 morally-grey-penguin Follow

1,383,248 notes

eccentricelina-deactivated04232030

i must not go to sleep in the lake today. afternoon nap is the mind killer

eccentricelina-deactivated04232030

mmmmmm cozy

eccentricelina-deactivated04232030

where is my skin

eccentricelina-deactivated04232030

going back to sleep honk shoooooo

635 notes

🌮 mysteriously-crafty-nacho Follow

reblog this post to go north with the person you reblogged this from

54,092 notes

🧊 botulus-corporation Follow

The Botulus Corporation is with you during this difficult time. Join our happy dreaming family where you and your loved ones will be safe from the rain. Tumblr users get 30% off on a Dreaming Box subscription!

🐨 chief-koala-typhoon Follow

73,932 notes

🌿 shiny-wolf-tragedy Follow

it fucken rainny

🐼 dreamland-panda Follow

love that they'll be a literal apocalyse and tumblr users will just make memes. never change tumblr

72,138 notes

👁️‍🗨️ the-magnus-brotocol

choosing between the irl amazing digital circus or probably fucking dying was not on my 2030 bingo card but okay

👁️‍🗨️ the-magnus-brotocol

at this point i just gotta expect that if the year is divisible by 10 then something terrible will happen

94 notes

🐺 werewolves-are-hot

hey do you think i can get a real werewolf boyfriend now that monsters are real

🐺 werewolves-are-hot

any cute werewolf boyfriends in this part of the woods

429 notes

🌷 pleasant-arcade-land

oh man it's been a couple months since I last updated this fanfic huh! so I just drank some black water by accident and now I have a few extra fingers, and honestly that took some getting used to, but it's actually pretty convenient now and is really helpign me get more words in lol im still here writing homestuck fanfic in 2030 hehehehehe anyway new chapter here

38 notes

🌑 the-void-whispers Follow

so, it looks like tumblr might be dying soon due to, well, *gestures wildly.* You'll have to kill me before I join Twitter now that the Botulus Corporation bought it (and no, I am not calling it B, that is just stupid) so if you want to hear from me you will simply need to look out for passenger pigeons. in the meantime, ill be here until tumblr straight up dies and i have a crying session about it

🦌 gamer-guy-bath-water Follow

we do not grieve ice when it melts, or celebrate the sapling when it rises from the soil. they just are. life and death and rebirth are one constant state. and without change, there would be nothing to watch

⚔️ sword-lesbian-enthusiast

add that to the list of banger quotes from tumblr memes

82,362 notes

[super-cosmic-library]

loosely based on this post

tw: mentions of blood

Look, everyone had gone through a vampire phase. One Mrs. Stephanie Meyer had a heavy hand in that. And even if one had somehow managed to skirt the whole Twilight saga, there were a litany of other vampire books/tv shows/movies that came in its wake. Almost everyone in the 2010s wanted a vampire boyfriend. Even Robin, whose taste veered toward the more extraterrestrial side of paranormal fiction, had confided in Steve that she wouldn’t mind having an undead, blood sucking vampire girlfriend.

All in all, Steve didn’t get it. Why did nearly all of the girls in his grade fawn over the idea of getting with someone older than their great grandfathers? It was gross. Not to mention the fact that vampires didn’t have blood, so how would they even be able to get it up in the bedroom? 

The whole mess baffled him to no end, and he was grateful when its popularity died down. He didn’t know if he would be able to take listening to Max and El giggling over Edward What’s-his-face.

His relief, however, was short lived. Just as the kids he baby sat started to enter high school, the Twilight saga had a resurgence of popularity all thanks to TikTok. Only this time, he didn’t just have to hear it from the girls. Max and El had gotten Lucas and Will to watch the movies with them, which led to them reading the girls’ copies of the books. And, look, Lucas he understood. When Steve was in high school, he would have done anything to please Nancy. (Luckily, she had been more interested in the rising popularity of the dystopian genre. He had thoroughly enjoyed listening to the Hunger Games series on audiobook.) But Will? Even if he was just doing it to bond with his sister, Steve thought the boy had more taste than that.

And when Lucas and Will became obsessed with it, so did Mike and Dustin. Again, Steve understood Mike, even though unlike Lucas, he was totally oblivious to his crush on Will. But Dustin? As far as Steve was aware, Suzie wasn’t allowed to read the series, even though the creator was also Mormon.

At least Erica was still at the age where she turned her nose up at any hint of romance.

But, you know, it wouldn’t be such a big deal if the kids obsession with vampires contained itself to the fictional world. He could deal with it better if it did. If then, they might be able to talk about other topics of interest. Hell, Steve would give anything to listen to the boys ramble all day long about their Dungeons and Dorks game. But Steve wasn’t so lucky.

Because while he loved the kids’ strong, creative imaginations, it meant that sometimes their fictional obsessions would spill over into the real world. And that. That was what he was really fed up with.

“I swear, it’s him,” Dustin nearly shouted over the other boys. “Same name. Same exact hair. He’s a vampire.”

Steve restrained a groan as he looked up from the dishes to see Dustin, Lucas, Will, and Mike at the dining table crowded around what appeared to be a high school yearbook.

“He can’t be!” Thank god, Mike was being the voice of reason. (Something Steve never thought he would be.) “I’ve seen him walk to his van in the sun, and he was totally fine. Also, on spaghetti day in the cafeteria, he ate, like, three slices of garlic bread!”

Steve had thought too soon.

“Then how do you explain this?” Dustin asked, gesturing to the page.

“Maybe it’s someone he’s related to?” Will offered.

“I don’t know,” Lucas said. “The resemblance is uncanny.”

Curiosity got the best of Steve. What could he say? Even if he hated this whole vampire thing, he enjoyed the weird little adventures his kids went on. Steve didn’t have many friends growing up. Hell, aside from Robin, he didn’t have many friends now. At least, friends his own age. It made his heart warm, seeing all of them getting to be a bunch of idiot children together. 

But they didn’t need to know that.

“What are you little shits looking at?” He slung the dish towel he had been using to dry the flatware with over his shoulder, and made his way over to the table.

“Steve, we think our new DM is a vampire!” Dustin announced excitedly.

Steve put his hands on his hips (his signature mom pose, according to the kids), and rolled his eyes. “Vampires aren’t real.” 

He didn’t say it to dull the kid’s enthusiasm. If anything, antagonization was their form of love language. Plus, Dustin always took the discouragement as a challenge to double down on whatever stance he took. Steve had to admire the kid for his confidence in himself. He knew first hand how easily that could be stripped away. 

“Then how do you explain this?” Dustin slid the yearbook over for him to look at, pointing at  the man in question. “He’s been in high school for years.”

Steve glanced down at the page. “Oh, Eddie Munson? He was in some of my classes last year. He was held back twice; though, that may have been because he almost never showed up to class. But that doesn’t mean he’s a vampire.”

“This is an old yearbook, though,” Lucas countered.

“If last year is old, then how ancient do you think I am?” Steve snipped. He pointed to the class picture that captured his likeness. “Look, there’s me. Does that mean I’m a vampire?”

“Steve, this isn’t your yearbook.” Dustin held the cover of the book up for Steve to read. There on the cover, in green and gold, were the words “Class of 1985.”

“What?” He snatched the yearbook from him, and flipped back to the page they had been studying. “No, that’s . . .”

He trailed off. Yes, that picture had captured his likeness; however, it was his father’s name that was written underneath. His father, who he was apparently the spitting image of.

“Maybe it’s his dad,” Steve tried, flipping through the pages. “Or his uncle. Doesn’t he live with his uncle?”

“We already checked the rest of it.” Mike snatched the book away from him. “He’s the only Munson in there.”

“His dad and his uncle could have not been in high school together,” Will countered.

“Thank you for being the only reasonable person here.”

Will blushed at Steve’s praise. 

“I am telling you,” Dustin trudged on. “Eddie Munson is a vampire. And we’re going to prove it.”

~~~

Proving it ended up being more challenging than the boys had thought. As Mike had already proved, Eddie had no aversion to garlic or the sun. Crosses, Lucas pointed out, had no affect on him either, seeing as he wore one on his ring. So there went that theory. Dustin had even followed him into the bathroom one day to see if Eddie had a reflection in the mirror. He ended up having two Eddies stare at him like he was a creep.

Either none of the stereotypes were true, or--and Dustin was loathe to admit it--Steve was right.

There was still one more thing they could try.

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” Lucas said.

Dustin huffed. “Well, do you have any better plans? Because the only thing we haven’t tried yet is a stake to the heart, which is a dumb thing to begin with because that could kill anyone.”

“What about holy water?”

“And how are you going to get a priest to agree to bless a bottle of water?” Mike asked.

“My pastor might do it,” Lucas said.

“Let’s just try this first,” Dustin said. “And if it doesn’t work, you can call your pastor.”

The plan was simple, really. While they were playing DnD that afternoon, Dustin was going to “accidently” get a paper cut. Eddie’s reaction to the fresh blood would determine whether or not he was a vampire. It was fool proof.

Unfortunately, it seemed like Dustin was a fool. Who could blame him, though? Eddie was an amazing Dungeon Master. He knew just how to craft a story to suck just about anyone in. It wasn’t until they were packing up at the end of the session that Dustin remembered the plan. That probably explained the looks the other boys had been shooting him the entire time.

Dustin was just about to drag the edge of a piece of paper across this hand, when the drama room door banged open.

“Alright, you little shits. Get in the car. I’m already having a bad day, and I don’t need your moms blowing up my phone asking where you are.”

“Steve, why do you have a tampon in your nose?” Will asked.

Dustin glanced up at Steve, only to find that the man indeed had a bloody tampon in his nose.

“I had a nose bleed, and didn’t have any Kleenex in my car. It’s the only thing Robin or I had. And it works, so I don’t want to hear anything more about it.”

Blood.

Dustin nearly gave himself whiplash turning his head to look at Eddie. Eddie, who was staring at Steve with eyes that could only be described as ravenous.

“King Steve,” Eddie drew out as he approached Steve.

“Munson.”

“Now why’s a pretty jock like you carting around a bunch of nerdy freshmen?”

“I baby sit them.”

Eddie chuckled. “Yes, they are a bunch of babies.”

That was met with a round of protests from the kids.

“How hard was your nose bleeding? Aren’t tampons supposed to be super absorbent?”

Lucas was right. There was a ring of blood leaking down the tampon.

“Are you okay?” Will asked.

Eddie, however, did not look okay. Dustin had never seen him so focused on one thing as he was with Steve’s nose. And that included DnD.

“Yeah, it just happens sometimes. I’ll be fine. Now come on, or Robin’s going to start honking.”

They were being corralled out of the building before Dustin could come to any concrete conclusions, but judging from the way Eddie had stared at Steve’s nose, he was sure their hunch was correct.

Now they just had to prove it.

~~~

Turned out, the best way to prove their DM was a vampire was to show up at his trailer unannounced. Catch him off guard while he was at his most comfortable. In fact, the hardest part about the whole thing had been trying to convince Steve to drive them over to the trailer park. In the end, he was a push over as always.

Dustin bounded up the steps to the trailer, the other boys close behind. He pounded on the door. “Eddie!”

A crash came from inside, followed by a grumbled “shit.” A few moments later, Eddie swung open the door.

“Couldn’t have given me a heads up?”

“We have some urgent DnD questions. Couldn’t’ve waited for you to respond.” Dustin and the rest of the boys pushed passed him into the trailer. Only Will hesitated, sheepish look on his face.

“Hey, wait, what are you doing!” Eddie called after them.

“Oh my god, have some manners,” Steve slammed his car door closed.

“Steve,” Eddie began. “They roped you into this?”

“They threatened to walk otherwise. Couldn’t let them get hit by a car or kidnapped.”

The four boys searched around the tidy trailer, not even trying to appear like they weren’t.

“What are you knuckleheads doing?” Eddie asked.

Steve, who they had not informed what they were doing, seemed to have caught on to their plan. “Not this again.”

“You know what they’re doing?” 

“Guys, look!” Mike, staring in the fridge, exclaimed. The boys ran over to him.

“Hey, you guys, get out of there!” Eddie exclaimed.

“Yeah, knock it off. Let the man live in piece.”

Dustin, Lucas, and Will gasped when they saw the contents of the fridge. Yes, there was normal people food in the fridge--nothing to write home about. But stacked on the top shelf was the motherload: bags and bags of blood.

Mike grabbed one and held it out for Steve to see. “We fucking told you!”

“Eddie’s a vampire,” Dustin vibrated with excitement. “Eddie, you’re a vampire.”

“Eddie’s not . . . there’s gotta be . . .Eddie?” Steve looked to Eddie as if asking him to deny the kid’s claims.

Eddie crossed his arms over his chest and heaved out an exasperated sigh. “Looks like you caught me.”

“I fucking told you!” Dustin shouted at Steve.

“Language.” Steve snapped. “Eddie, come on. Be serious. Vampires don’t exist.”

“Telling the truth, Harrington.” Eddie flashed them his fangs. “I am a vampire.” 

“You’re teeth aren’t normally that sharp,” Will said.

“I can control when my fangs come out,” Eddie said with a shrug. Then, to demonstrate, he retraced his fangs, so his teeth looked human again. “It’s been handy in hiding from mortals. In fact, you guys are the first to figure it out. Surprised it took this long for anyone to notice, honestly.”

“So you’ve been able to hide in plan sight for, like, hundreds of years?” Dustin asked.

Eddie slouched down onto the couch, understanding that he was about to be pelted with about a million questions. “More like forty.”

“Forty?” Will asked.

“I was turned in the ‘80s. ‘86, I think. I don’t know, the years start to blur together.”

“So, you’re just as old as our parents?” Mike scoffed. “Lame.”

“But I look much better than them.”

The boys took his nonchalance as permission to start their rain of questions.

“So do you have vampire powers?”

“How can you eat garlic?”

“Does the sun not burn your skin?”

“Do you have to get permission to enter new places?”

And on and on they went, only briefly pausing for Eddie to get a sufficient answer out. Meanwhile, Steve just stood by the door. Dustin could tell he was trying to process the fact that he had almost graduated with a vampire. Dustin could understand. Had he not already been convinced himself, the information would have taken a bit to accept.

When Steve finally came back around, he joined the group surrounding Eddie. 

“Why are you still at Hawkins High?” Steve asked. “You were in class with my parents. Couldn’t have you gotten out and gone someplace people won’t recognize you?”

Eddie paused, actually giving that question some thought. The other boys let him think it through instead of feeding him more questions. They wanted to know the answer too.

“Well, I tried to once, but then Wayne started having health problems, and I didn’t want to leave him alone. When I realized that I had stopped aging, I decided to stay with him even after he recovered. Realized that if I don’t grow old, I’m going to outlive him. I’d rather spend the rest of his life with him, than in hiding and regretting it when he’s gone. As for people recognizing me: you’d be surprised how little attention the freaks of Hawkins get.”

The group sat in silence for a moment, letting his words sink in. Dustin supposed that if he were turned into a vampire, he would stick around to spend as much time with his mom as he could.

“Speaking of, where is your uncle?” Lucas asked.

Eddie smiled to himself. “Technically, he’s my little brother. We started doing the whole uncle/nephew thing when he got too old to believably be my brother. And he should be finishing up his shift at the hospital. Decided to become a nurse after finishing chemo. He has always been the smart one. Besides, it helps with procuring my stash of blood.” 

Mike perked up at that. “So you do drink blood?”

“Yes.”

“But we’ve seen you eat real food.”

“You’re point?”

Mike huffed. “So do you need blood to live, or is it just a craving--like wanting a Coke?”

“I can eat real food, but it doesn’t fully satisfy my hunger. Only drinking blood does that.”

“Have you ever?” Steve gulped. “Have you ever drank blood from a person.”

“You offering?” Eddie smirked.

Steve flushed.

Weird.

As his friends continued to talk, Dustin’s mind wandered. It was no secret that Steve found men attractive. He was the biggest slut in Hawkins, after all. And Dustin had only ever seen him nervous around men who he thought were really hot. 

Oh, Dustin could have fun with this. After all, didn’t everyone want a vampire boyfriend?

okay, well this completely got away from me. will I make this a series? mayhaps.

[scoutswritingcorner]

Formal Disappearance

Alastor x GN!Reader

TW: None

Song(s) I was listening to: Head Over Heels/Broken by Tears for Fears

A/N: I want more flustered Alastor guys. If I have to make it so be- Let me fluster the deer man.

Alastor looked around the room as Charlie explained her new “bonding exercise”, his gaze sweeping over the crew that was all here..Something was missing- No, someone was missing from the gathering. His sweet Doe was missing, how did he not notice this earlier? In fact he hasn’t seen you all day. The last time he saw you was last night when you were hiding your reddened face as you laughed at his joke. His ever wandering eyes snapping towards Husk causing the old tom cat to flinch and bristle up causing his smile to flicker for a second, before grinning wider. Oh, he knew something. “Husker, my dearest friend, do you have something to share with me?” Alastor tilted his head as he turned to face the bartender.

“Me? Nope, I don’t have anything to say.” Husk responded not meeting his eyes. Alastor’s eye twitched as his ears fell back against his head, his clawed finger tapping on his cane. His patience was running thin, he hated being apart from you for this long. But he would never mutter it out to a soul, his pride was far too big for that. “Know what?” Charlie asked, smiling tensely, she hoped this wouldn’t turn into a whole thing. Alastor glanced at her but didn’t answer her as Husk flinched from his sharp gaze. “They had to go do something for their job.” Husk answered quickly causing Angel to smirk, “They looked smoking, Smiles. You should’ve seen them before they left.” The comment made Alastor snap his neck back towards Angel Dust who flinched and backed away muttering an apology.

“Oh! They had a huge formal event for their job today, that’s why they aren’t here right now. They had left early in the morning while you were doing a broadcast. They didn’t want to bother you but they said they left a note in your room.” Charlie explained clapping her hands together causing Alastor to hum loudly, so that’s what the note was for this morning. Well, what’s a few more hours without you by his side? He wasn’t desperate for your attention,

~~~~~

It had been four hours (possibly even more) since you had been gone and Alastor was struggling to even be near the others, his temper was getting to him and he missed you oh so dearly. He missed your smile and how your voice seemed to travel through the hotel like one of his favorite songs. He couldn’t even focus on the paper in front of him, what was keeping you this long at this so called formal event? He let out a soft growl watching as his own shadow pulled his focus on the wall in front of him. A lovestruck smile on the pesky shadow as it pointed towards the foyer of the Hotel. He stared at the shadow with an eyebrow raised confused on why his own shadow was acting like this.

Then like a siren song piercing through the silence he heard your voice echo, “I’m sorry, Charlie. I didn’t expect it to take that long. I thought it would be an hour or two at best.” Your voice echoed down to the parlor causing him to immediately stand up from his spot on the armchair in front of the fireplace. His ears happily flickering as he heard your precious laughter echo after a few seconds of soft whispers. He hurriedly made his way towards the front foyer of the Hotel ignoring how his Shadow dashed after his long strides. If his undead heart could beat, it would surely be racing at this point just at the thought of seeing you after hours, his tense smile now becoming relaxed at hearing your voice.

Looking up from the bottle of water in your hand at the shadow of your boyfriend curling around your own before. “Dearest!~ There you are and here I thought you had run away fro-” His voice stopped suddenly like a broken record as he gazed at your form. How absolutely darling you looked all dressed up. How your outfit clung to you from the necklace you were wearing (specifically the one he had gotten you a few weeks back) complimented your whole outfit perfectly. 

A dark red blush creeped up his neck to his cheeks as his ears laid back on his head. Noticing how you stared at him, a small smirk on your lips as you tilted your head. “What’s wrong, Dear? Don’t you like my outfit?” You teased, causing him to look away with a dark blush coating his cheeks and glaring at the wall as if it offended him. Angel snickered and turned his gaze back to Husk, “I think Smiles adores it a little too much, Toots.” An almost feral snarl leaving your Beau’s lips at hearing Angel point that out. You walked closer, holding your hand out to him. “Don’t worry, Dear. I saved one last dance for you.”

Alastor looked down at you, blush still prominent on his cheeks but he grabbed your hand and leaned down to kiss your knuckles, “Only if you’d have me, Cher.” He whispered out only for you to hear. A soft smile gracing your lips, you nodded at his request. “I wouldn’t have it any other way, Dear.” He swore his tail was about to create a hole in his jacket from the way it wagged so fast, linking your arms together he walked you to another part of the hotel to dance the night away.

[jake-webber]

I am weak for vampire!Sam and demon!Colby if you want to write something 'bout that

the way my mind already knew who im associating this au with. @samandcolby-ownme my beloved thank you for introducing this au to me. i give all credits to you for vampsam and demcolby

content warning: kinda mean dom reader but very much sub SnC, Colby has a tail,,…, fem reader, near death experience (briefly mentioned), implied stripper!reader, BAD sex dialogue i think, if you’re more used to @samandcolby-ownme’s writing style for the boys, this one is very diff.

VERY MUCH UNEDITED

no smut, meaning no peen in vag but very sexual stuff under the cut. 18+ only!!

You were absolutely drained, both mentally and physically. Your whole body aches and you walk around the room as if you were anemic (which you could be at this point). As much as you loved your boyfriends, you’re high maintenance lovers, it’s taking a toll on you.

Other than the heavenly yet punishing sex they both give you, they keep forgetting to mention their other personal and unnatural needs as, well, not natural beings.

Consent and boundaries were set up before the three of yours’ relationships began. Their needs and your needs, as long as asked for permission, is given green light to the other. This applies for Sam’s request of sucking your blood which you don’t usually so no to and Colby’s demonic need of sucking the energy out of you by ‘absorbing your essence’ (you’re still not 100% sure how it works since he usually just closes his eyes as you stand there, feeling every bit of your serotonin slowly leaving your body).

Lately, for some reason, their needs doubled. Sam sucked your blood half to death if it weren’t for Colby snapping him out of his senses when you began losing color and consciousness. Colby was no better though. Unbeknownst to you, he’s been absorbing to much of your essence that it leaves you in such a worn out state.

You were angry and easily irritable, like a ticking time bomb. Just like right now.

As soon as you opened the door to your shared home, you were overwhelmed with the smell of their perfumes, telling you that they’ve been in the house the whole time while you were away, and the scent usually sends you into a calmer mood knowing your boys were here, but in your state right now?

“Sam? Colby! Sam!” You yelled from the living room, a striking headache already on its way as soon as the two appeared out of thin air.

“Baby, I’ve missed you.” Sam approached you with an arm reaching for you neck, rubbing the holes that showed his constant penetration on your poor skin. You could tell from the way he’s licking his lips, eyes not meeting yours, that Sam was going to ask for your blood. Again.

You scoffed, something you’ve never done towards them, swatted his hand away from. This caused for the blonde boy to flinch, red eyes flashing in the dim lighting. You could see Colby reacting to the unfamiliar reaction from your peripheral vision.

“Bad day at work?” He asked, arms crossed as he walked towards the both of you.

You ran a hand against your head, combing your already disheveled. “I don’t know, you tell me.” You didn’t know what came over to you, eyebrows arching in sarcasm. “Fucked up week would be a better way to describe it.”

Sam, unbeknownst to you, felt something crushing in his undead heart, like chains being harshly twisted and pulled at every bad energy you were sending out. Of course, you were unaware of that, continuing to do so. Colby, on the other hand, felt his eyes twitching, not from anger, but at his lack of breath as if he was being choked. His necklace hung low on his neck, there was nothing else that should be making him felt this way.

Despite all this, you began talking when they didn’t, oblivious to their pain. “I don’t know if you’ve been noticing but for whatever fucked up reason, the two of you have been taking too much from me.” Sam clenched the spot on his shirt where his heart would be residing, feeling it beat once again. He doesn’t remember it hurting like this.

Colby was fast on his feet to take your hands, releasing the grip of your unwelcoming crossed arms. “We didn’t know— We aren’t supposed to be here and we aren’t used to it.”

“As much as we hate it, it’s kind of— like, our way of having our powers work here.” Sam explained further, somehow compelled to telling you.

Their words didn’t seem to work to calm you down you rolled your eyes.

“Right, as if that’s any of my fault.” You replied, taking your hand back from Colby’s. His eyes widened at your action, feeling as though he’s made a grave mistake.

You’re disappointing her.

They both felt agonizing pain in their entire bodies at the same, especially on Colby’s neck and Sam’s chest. Colby held onto himself as he tried to catch his breath while Sam was clenching his fist to his chest.

“I mean, seriously, it’s been affecting me so much. I could barely do any of my choreographies without getting dizzy, I accidentally snapped at a costumer— not to mention, our highest paying.” You continued your tangent, eyes anywhere but on your boyfriends’ withering state. Your words struck them like lightning coursing through their body, making Sam the first to fall on his knees.

It was only when you heard a second thud when you turned back around. Your eyes widened at the sight of both Sam and Colby on their knees, their inhuman traits were out in the open.

“Sam? Colby? What the fuck is happening?” You knelt down to their level, trying to lift their heads up. Colby harshly grabbed your arm as soon you got closer, making you wince in pain as his sharp nails dug in your skin. Your reaction immediately made the boy struggle even further.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” The boy chanted to himself. “Fuck, I didn’t mean it, please.” Colby pleaded to you as if you were the one hurting him.

“Please, forgive us. We didn’t mean to anger you, make it stop.” Sam wheezed, his eyes having the brightest shade of red you’ve ever seen him have. The only time you’ve seen a glimpse of it was during sex.

Their words confused you as concern began washing over your anger. “Wait– guys–” Before you could even start talking to them, a voice in began to ring in the back of your head.

They deserve this.

The voice awfully sounded like you.

“You deserve this.” You said towards the both of them. Sam, despite his pain and being the rationale of your relationship, took notice of how your voice didn’t sound like you. It was you, you were speaking, but another voice, much darker and lower, was speaking for you.

The boys felt your fingers wrap around their chin, lifting them without much hardship. Colby’s watering eyes widened at your different eye color.

He wasn’t able to focus any further when he felt yet another sharp on his neck. “Focusing on useless things, you tend to do that, don’t you, Colby?” Instead of just the new voice, your real voice began overlapping with it. Somehow, it doubled the fear the boys were feeling for the first time again.

“As for you, Sam, you think you control this relationship, don’t you? Having made the first move on me, I can’t blame you if you did.” You chuckled. “Oh, how long I’ve been wanting to tell you this,” You inched closer to the boy, ghosting his sensitive sense of hearing on his now pointed ears. “You never were.”

You simultaneously let them both go and immediately grabbing a fistful of Sam’s hair. “You’re always one to talk. Better make that tongue to good use.” Without much warning, you placed two of your fingers inside him. “Suck.” You ordered.

Sam couldn’t do anything but comply, licking and sucking every inch of what you gave him. The pain in his heart was lessening by the second, making his actions more messy and desperate. Colby looked over at your lustful expression as you watched Sam, feeling his pants tightening at the sight.

“You never left me alone when I’m soaked,” Despite your distance from him, Colby heard your voice against his ear, making shivers run down his spine to his penis, pre cum staining his pants. He could feel your chuckles on his bare neck. “Don’t worry, baby, I won’t be doing the same thing you.”

With half lidded eyes, Sam watched as you reached over to Colby, his demon tail immediately wrapping itself around you, as if guiding you to where you should be. You clicked your tongue, making both of them wince in pain at your displeasure. “Still trying to take control?”

You could hear Colby mumbling ‘no’s under his labored breathes along with Sam’s muffled ones, knowing what’s coming. You retracted your fingers from the blonde boy’s mouth and stood up.

“Look at me, Colby.” Your voice was gone again, voice void of any emotion but command. As soon as he did, he groaned in pain and pleasure as your feet lands on his hard on. The heels you were still wearing from the club stabbed on every part of him, his whines of pain slowly turning to a mix of his moans.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He gasped as pushed your heels even further, “Please, it hurts so much. It hurts,” Tears, which was something you’ve never seen come out of the both of them, began falling down on his scaled cheeks.

You remained unfazed, eyes glistening in excitement. Was it even you?

“Hurts more than getting choked?” You taunted and Colby immediately shakes his head. “If anything, you’re luckier than Sam. I like it when I’m being fucked and losing my breath.” Which both Sam and Colby knew all too well.

Speaking of, your eyes moved towards to Sam who was pathetically palm himself beside Colby. It almost made you wanted to laugh that this was the same man that stalked you, hunted you, and claimed you.

“God, you look good like this.” You smirked, grabbing his chin once again and pulling his head towards yours. Your lips move in a familiar rhythm, only this time you were taking the lead of exploring every inches of the boy’s mouth. Your tongue grazed his sharp canines, purposely piercing yourself to let blood run. Sam’s eyes widened, eyes glistening.

“You’re so spoiled.” You said as soon your lips parted ways with his, wiping the blood residue on your mouth and watched as Sam immediately started to lick it if off of your thumb.

“I’m gonna– fuck, fuck, I’m–“ Colby moaned as his hips grinds against your stilettos. He tried to chase his high but you removed your legs before he could, making him groan in pain. “No, no, please.” He cried, more tears spilling down from his darkened pupils.

You had to step back to look at the mess you’ve created. Sam was in his own high as the smallest amount of your blood intoxicated his entire being, leaving his pants severely damped while Colby couldn’t even move in inch from how painful you left him, something in him refusing to cum if it wasn’t against you.

You ran your fingers in your hair. “Ah, fuck— this definitely gave my energy back.”

Their eyes made contact with yours and they could see your natural eye color mixing with your new one. Colby, being a demon himself, knew what’s happening.

Because of your lack of blood, your own blood, and your humanly essence he’s been selfishly taking, a demonic spirit strong enough to conquer one and an ancient vampire made its way to your weakened self and made itself feel at home inside you.

That also meant this dynamic, these invisible chains you’ve placed on them, wouldn’t disappear any time soon.

[1800jjbarnes]

𝐉𝐉'𝐬 𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐑𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐏𝐭.𝟏

Updated : 1st May 2024 | Fic Counter : 18

Mature [M] Fluff [F] Romance/Slice of Life [R] Comedy [C] Gore/Thriller [G] Horror [H] Supernatural/Fantasy [S] Others [O]

Masterlist Navigator

Consequences of My Actions | Brother's Best Friend Au [M/R]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : He told you a secret that was supposed to die in the grave. Now you don't know if you can control your own urges around him.

Open Wide | Beefy Boyfriend Au [M]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You find out your Super Soldier Boyfriend has a kink that also happens to be right up your ally.

Need You Now | Avenger Au [M/F]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Steve couldn't wait to get back to the apartment to take you after a frustrating mission. So an empty meeting room will have to do.

Just A Taste | Mob!Steve [M/F]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Steve needed to have a quick taste of his favourite meal before he left for a party tonight.

Gloomy Days | Slice Of Life Au [M/F/R]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : A trip turned sour due to a storm. But luckily, Yunho knows just the thing in turning this gloomy day into a more steamy one.

Eyes On Me | Biker Au [M]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Biker Gang Leader doesn't like sharing unless it's to do with his best friend.

The Sweetness Of You | Avenger au [M/A]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : It all started with a simple dinner and a movie. But when Steve asked if you wanted dessert, you knew your sugar was about to spike from more than just the sweetness of the fruits and chocolate.

A Gift To You | CEO Au [M/F]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Your sweet boyfriend wanted to share a soft moment with you. But your neediness had other plans. So he decided to take matters into his own hands.

He Has Control | Bf Au [M]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You were his work of art, and he loved to watch you squirm under him.

Intoxicated | Wolf Au [M]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Wanda needed your help with trying out one of her experiments, and let's just say Steve was avout to never let you leave the bedroom ever again because of it.

Move | Boyfriend Au [M]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You needed him, any part of him. But Steve wanted to see you squirm. To see you cry and beg for him to satisfy you.

The Perfect Gift | Bf Au [M]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Steve couldn't decide what gift to buy you while he was on a long month mission. So he bought them all and now wants you to try them out. Every. Single. One.

Cold To The Touch | Vampire Au [M/F]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Your undead lover had finally come back from a late night hunt, finding you shivering from the winter weather. But do not fret, as he was…skilled in keeping others warm-ish.

My, My, My | Bf Au [M]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Stevie couldn't help it. Every time he saw you, he felt himself grow heavy in his slacks. You were everything he needed. And he needed you now.

Leave Or Join | Avengers Au [S/F/C]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : You wanted to help your boyfriend relax. It just so happened that some poor soul decided to interrupt.

You Make Me Make Sense | Supernatural Au [S/F/A]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Halloween is filled with spooky ghost stories and haunted places. But what if you end up walking right into a nightmare that was hiding a dream?

Little Obsession | Bf Au [M/F]

↳ 【Synopsis】: Instead of getting ready to go see the team, Steve would rather spend his time with you and your boobs of course.

Jealously jealously | Dom!Steve [M]

↳ 【Synopsis】 : Steve wasn't the jealous type... or so you thought.

© 1800JJBarnes. Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, repost, or use my work in any way, shape, or form.

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

Sexiest Podcast Character — Unscripted Bracket — Round 2

Propaganda

Lup (The Adventure Zone: Balance):

Is somehow the hot twin between her and Taako

Lup Bluejeans (née... Taaco? Tacco? Taco? Tako? who tf knows this is why I'm going with her husband's last name. doylistly she gets her last name from her brother whose last name is given as "Taako again but spelled differently"): Hot, funny, smart and undead. Is there anything else you could want in a woman?? Well, in case there is: she's also canonically trans

Sans Undertale (Interstitial: Our Hearts Intertwined: Authority):

He's Sans Undertale and he's dating John Cena.

sanscena is an all time podcast ship and i truly believe he can stand up to the more popular podcasts through the power of old man yaoi

Anon, math wise, I think we can still beat Lup. It'll be hard, but every challenge is. If it was easy... anyone in the world could do it... sans.. will win...

I have an incredibly vivid memory of walking laps in the park in the pouring rain listening to Interstitial because I was so engrossed in Sans Emotions, having to stop and go "what the hell am I doing", and then continuing to walk laps in the rain because I realized I knew exactly what I was doing and it ruled actually. I promise you he deserves this for Interstitial

We are the most contentious poll... we can do it, gamers. Sans can win!!

vote for sancena.

Vote Sans Undertale Gaster Cena Interstitial. The five-named Sans. The best Sans. Undertale or otherwise.

Also make sure you don't tag any of these for the game, we have to win this on the back of the podcast... we can do this... it's an uphill battle... every obstacle a mountain... but we can do it if we believe... magic is real love is real Sans Undertale Will Win

my psionic pokemon warriors. can i trouble you to cast a vote for sans undertale in this trying time

imagine not voting sans

hey everyone. i am speaking directly into your ear now. friends at the table has a billion characters in this bracket, but sans undertale is only here once. and he's married to john cena.

SANS GANG... HE DESERVES THIS.... WE CAN MAKE THIS HAPPEN. THINK OF HIS BOYFRIEND!!!!

Mod Note: This is a poll for podcast characters. Please vote and offer propaganda for the Sans Undertale that is dating John Cena and appears in the podcast Interstitial: Our Hearts Intertwined: Authority.

[blues824]

Brothers and undataebles walking in on MC singing “You Will Be Okay (Stolas Lullaby)” to their younger sibling who accidentally came along with them to Devildom

“Y/N!” Your sibling wailed.

The person you were cuddling had never seen you jump up and run so fast, but here you were, Usain Bolting it down the hallway to your sibling’s room. You would have thought that they were being murdered and you were about to throw hands with the murderer.

____ got up and followed you down the hallway, trying not to disturb the two of you. He stopped just to the side of the doorway when he heard you singing a lullaby to your sibling. He took a small peek and saw you sitting on his bed and leaning over to tuck him back into bed.

Lucifer

This was the one night that you were able to get him to leave his work where it was and go to bed with you, but he can’t exactly blame the young child. The Devildom wasn’t for the faint of heart, so he understands why they would have a nightmare.

He actually found it absolutely endearing how you treated them with care, reminding him of how he used to treat his brothers when they were just young angels. This was just one nostalgia trip for him, and he pulled you into a passionate kiss when you walked over to him.

Mammon

He didn’t appreciate being woken up in the middle of the night, but your sibling had a special place in his heart. He actually was going to volunteer to help them go back to sleep, had you not sprinted faster than the Flash.

The second born would never tell you, but as he watched the two of you in the dorm frame, he imagined a future where he could have a family with you. He always dreamt of having a family in the far future, especially when you agreed to let him be your boyfriend.

Leviathan

Mans was probably still awake, so he just followed you to your sibling’s room. He also didn’t blame your sibling for waking up because of a nightmare, since they were surrounded by scary demons who are ridden with sin.

As he watches you sing them back to sleep, he can’t help but revel in the warm feeling within his undead heart. He feels like he unlocked a super rare cutscene and now he can’t wait to unlock more soft moments between the three of you.

Satan

He ran with you since he cares about your sibling almost as much as you do. He let out a huge sigh of relief when you both found out that it was just a nightmare, so you entered the room before him.

He stood next to you as you sung the lullaby, having his hand on your shoulder while you leaned into him. It actually reminded him of those moments in the horror novels where the parents console their child, and it made him feel warm inside.

Asmodeus

Mans did not want to wake up, but he couldn’t go back to sleep unless you were next to him. So, he went to go see what happened, only to stumble upon this absolutely adorable scene between siblings. He had to use every ounce of self control in his body to not squeal.

He never knew you had pipes either, so when the two of you go back he will beg for you to sing the lullaby to him. He gives you the biggest puppy dog eyes, one’s that he knows you would never be able to resist. He ends up winning, and he gets sung a lullaby for the first time in millennia.

Beelzebub

Mans views your sibling as his sibling, so he is probably racing against you to their room. The sigh of relief you both let out when you realize that they weren’t in danger was so in sync, then you walked into the room and he stayed in the doorway.

He loves how you took care of your sibling as though you were standing in loco parentis. This demon is very family-oriented, so he most definitely wants to have kids one day with you (be it through adoption or biological process, or smth else). 

Belphegor

If you weren’t his pillow, he would never have woken up. Unfortunately, he was laying right on your stomach, so he was jostled awake when you jumped up and ran to your sibling. You didn’t even consider how this would affect him…

However, as he leans on the door frame while he watches you gently sing to your sibling, he can’t help but feel like it was worth being woken up just to be able to witness this little moment between the two of you. You couldn’t imagine how hard his heart was beating.

Diavolo

Since you were his spouse (if you are cuddling with him in his bed, you are most definitely his spouse at this point), your sibling was next in line for the throne until you both had or adopted a child. So, you both were constantly worrying over their safety.

The soft but tired smile on his face as he lingered at the foot of your sibling’s bed, watching as you gently tucked them back in while singing the lullaby, was there because he remembers when Barbatos would do the same for him.

Barbatos

He moved swiftly, but you were going faster than Speedy Gonzales. He was surprised at how fast you ran through the hallways just to see if your sibling was alive and well. He quickly went to get some soothing tea.

When he came back, he found you singing softly to them as you gently brushed their hair out of their eyes. You made him so weak in the knees that he almost dropped the tea, but he caught himself and poured a small cup for the younger child.

Solomon

He felt groggy, but he did follow you to your sibling’s room in case you needed any assistance with anything. After all, if something had broken in and threatened your or their life, then he would put himself in front of you both.

However, your sibling told you both that it was just a nightmare. Solomon pulled up a chair for himself as you sat yourself on the bed and started to sing to the young child as you tucked them in again. The sorcerer had a small smile on his face as he saw how tender and loving you were being.

Simeon

This archangel has had experience with taking care of young angels (I.e. Luke), so when he hears your sibling wailing then he knows what to do. However, you are ten steps ahead and running to your sibling. 

He was surprised at how quick you were to take action, calmly drying their tears and reassuring them that you were there. His heart soared to heights he never thought he could go, even with his actual wings. Seeing you so caring just did something to him, if only humans and angels could actually be together and have families with one another…