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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years

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Spilled Pearls

- Chapter 27 - ao3 -

Matters settled, eventually, and just as eventually, it started getting better.

At first, Lan Qiren wasn’t sure if matters were actually better, or if he’d just grown numb and accustomed, but after the past year and more he thought that there was a serious possibility of it being the former rather than the latter.

Probably the biggest difference was the birth of little Lan Huan, who’d joined the world as a fat and squalling infant that Lan Qiren had loved at first sight and sleepless night – he was still too young to be separated from his mother, or at minimum his wetnurse, but Lan Qiren made a practice of visiting every few days to try to prepare himself for caring for him. The women were generally happy to shove the baby into his arms and let him play guqin or xiao for him until he fell asleep. Apparently Lan Huan was actually a very peaceable baby, an assertion which Lan Qiren had initially doubted on account of the circles under everyone’s eyes, but when he’d said so, the wetnurse had glared at him and pronounced that saying such things meant that the next child would be a true wild terror, and probably a biter to boot.

The frequency of Lan Qiren’s visits was actually less about Lan Huan, although he liked his nephew very much, and more about trying to establish a precedent for visitation. He hoped, eventually, to be able to bring Lan Huan to see his mother on such a frequent basis, once or even twice a week, knowing as he did that He Kexin lacked the temperament for seclusion. To his regret, she’d ended up spoiling that plan not long after she’d recovered from her pregnancy, misinterpreting his frequent visits as an interest in her, and he’d been forced to cut back for a while out of sheer disgust at the mere concept. He bitterly scolded her in his mind for being seemingly incapable of seeing any other reason that he would visit so often, especially during the times that Lan Huan was already asleep, although he suspected in his heart that the real reason was simply likely a longing for a connection with the only other person she regularly saw.

He still had hope of negotiating regular visits with his sect elders, eventually, but now he knew he’d probably be lucky if he managed to make it once every fortnight, when originally he’d hoped for twice a week.

Disturbing female disciples is prohibited, after all. Lan Qiren had a very good reputation, being widely known to be frigid as a stick of ice, using his brother’s terms, but there was only so much he could do when there was known to be an expressed interest on the other side, especially an interest of adulterous nature. And couple that with what had happened between them before…

At least she’d restrained herself to only making a verbal offer, this time.

Lan Qiren did not know how to explain to He Kexin in a way that she would understand that although he visited her regularly as a matter of duty, and although he was the only person other than his brother with whom she regularly conversed, he did not enjoy his time with her – that he blamed her in part for the destruction of his dreams, the shattering of his heart in a way that would likely never heal, even though he did not blame her for his brother’s obsession with her. It was not her fault that his brother had fallen in love with her, or that he had taken such extreme measures for her, and yet…

“She’s still a bitch,” Cangse Sanren announced, and her new husband smothered a snicker in his sleeve. “What? She is.”

Lan Qiren sighed, and Wei Changze, smiling, made an excuse to depart and let them talk between themselves. He was a good man, with an irrepressible sense of humor that regularly made Cangse Sanren laugh without any shame at all, howling and hooting like a monkey. He had courted her assiduously even after she’d departed the Lotus Pier, headed off to complete her education regarding the mortal world in the various Great Sects, and yet had been oblivious to the fact that she treated their liaison as a serious one – perhaps he had only truly believed that she would give herself to him when they actually married, their interminably long courtship finally ending the way any blind man would have guessed it would from the very beginning.

“I asked you to come here so that you could meet A-Huan,” Lan Qiren said. “Not to relitigate the matter of He Kexin, who at any rate is already suffering the punishment for her unwise actions.”

“Unwise is an understatement. She killed a man! On no basis, and without even a formal challenge! If she’d just kept her sword in her sheath and not jumped ahead three steps –”

“I’m aware.”

Cangse Sanren made a rude noise, but settled back, grumbling. “The baby’s cute, though,” she added begrudgingly. “Looks like you.”

Lan Qiren rolled his eyes. “Yes, thank you, he is my nephew. To the extent you can identify any traits whatsoever in a roly-poly puppy like A-Huan, they’re family features.”

“Of which you’re the finest representative!”

Lan Qiren gave her a look, and she grinned unrepentantly at him. “Heartbreaker,” she teased, but a moment later her smile faded. “Have you spoken with your brother?”

Lan Qiren’s gaze dropped to the table. “There’s no need,” he said. “He has always been torn between pride in his capability and the admiration of others on one hand, and a yearning to retreat from the world and its annoyances in order to focus fully on his cultivation on the other. Other than occasionally meeting with his wife, he is now able to wholly focus on the latter, and unlike He Kexin, his temperament is suited to the strictness of our seclusion practices.”

“There might not be a need,” Cangse Sanren agreed. “Did you speak with him anyway?”

“Once,” Lan Qiren said, voice short. After a few long moments, he added, a little painfully: “He said that our father had always seen seclusion as a means to reunite with his wife.”

Cangse Sanren hissed in a manner not unlike a very angry cat, or possibly an agitated snake, her eyes very nearly turning red from rage: naturally she knew about the whole awful background, the many years of age between Lan Qiren and his brother and the way his brother had always blamed Lan Qiren’s belated birth for the death of their mother, and by extension the shattering of their father’s heart when she left him behind, gone too early.

Lan Qiren’s brother had also said other things, mad things, things that Lan Qiren sought to forget as soon as he’d heard them but which he knew would likely haunt him in the dark of sleepless nights for the rest of his life. The worst of it was that Lan Qiren still loved his brother, who he’d idolized for so long: his brother who was the perfect gentleman when he wanted to be, capable of being kind and charming and generous, of excellent cultivation and who excelled in each talent, who was thoughtful and reserved and in his own way a very good sect leader – the Qingheng-jun that the rest of the world had seen, the one that Lao Nie had befriended, the one so much of his sect had pinned their hopes on.

Lan Qiren felt, as always, like an inferior substitute.

No one had made his brother fall in love, nor to take such terrible actions to protect his love from her own foolishness, and yet, if Lan Qiren could have found another way out that the sect would have accepted, he would have. It would have been better, in his view, to lash them both with the discipline whip until they lacked flesh if it meant that they would stay free. A human could live with pain, but he wasn’t so sure they could do without freedom or hope…

Aren’t you just the same as me, his brother had sneered at him through the door that would part them for the rest of their lives, lashing out like a rabid dog that sought to hurt others in order to ease its own hurt, or else would you snap yourself into a thousand pieces begging for a scrap of my approval, which you will never receive, or whoring your vaunted righteousness out for a smile from your ‘sworn brother’?

Lan Qiren hadn’t done that, and wouldn’t. Unbelievable as it seemed, his stubbornness had stood up against Wen Ruohan’s and won; it had been Wen Ruohan who had changed to match him, rather than the other way around. He had vowed that the Fire Palace remained useless, and Lan Qiren believed him, especially when even Lao Nie confirmed it to be true. They had taken to exchanging letters this past year, since Lan Qiren could not visit the Nightless City until he had stabilized the Cloud Recesses and – sworn brotherhood or no – a visit by Wen Ruohan to the Cloud Recesses would be taken as a formal exchange, sect leader visiting sect leader.

Perhaps now, after a year, when he had more fully settled into his role…

“Did the trash say anything else?”

For a moment Lan Qiren was unsure whether Cangse Sanren had somehow managed to follow his thoughts and was now referring to Wen Ruohan, against whom she still bore something of a grudge, but then he realized that she meant his brother.

“Anything of value, anyway,” she huffed, tossing her hair and baring her teeth in the way she used to do before she realized that human beings didn’t use threat displays in that manner.

“He picked a courtesy name for A-Huan,” Lan Qiren said. “As is his right, of course.”

That had been Lan Qiren’s true motive in going to see his brother, in fact. He had refused to go see his brother for months, even if etiquette suggested he should go to pay his respects; it was only after A-Huan was born that he had finally yielded. It was only upon seeing the round and innocent face of little A-Huan starting to smile that he felt compelled to bend his stubborn back and compromise himself to reach out – there was very little, he found, that he wouldn’t do for his little nephew, who had no one else in the world.

His brother had been largely disinterested, though, even when Lan Qiren had inappropriately brought the child over for him to see – it had been too early for propriety, before the first month ceremony which marked the moment when the child could be exhibited more broadly, but Lan Qiren’s heart had hurt at the idea of his brother not seeing his son before the rest of the world had had a chance. It was not a large distance between the seclusion house his brother had chosen for himself, the same one that their father had planned to use before his suicide, and the house set aside for He Kexin, which Lan Qiren had taken to privately calling the Gentian House on account of the flowers that crowded around it.

Everyone had turned a blind eye to Lan Qiren’s little excursion – but his brother hadn’t cared.

It was He Kexin that he loved, that he was mad for, and in his selfishness he could not see extending that love to anyone beyond her. Lan Qiren was resolved to teach A-Huan to do better, to think of others first, to care for other people and think not only of them but of the people beyond them, just as he looked at He Kexin and thought to teach him to make his own judgments of people, to listen to their side of the story and analyze it carefully based on what he knew.

He could only hope that it would help.

When his brother had told him to leave, that he didn’t care to see the child, Lan Qiren had left, returning Lan Huan to his mother’s care, and returned himself to his brother’s door, boiling over with rage, to give him a piece of his mind.

It had backfired on him, of course. He would have been better off not going back at all – the rules said Do not succumb to rage, and they were right. All he had managed to obtain was a sore throat from all the yelling and a fresh set of nightmares.

And a name.

At least he had gotten Lan Huan a name bestowed upon him by his father, as he deserved.

“He selected ‘Xichen’,” Lan Qiren said, drawing out the characters and passing it over for Cangse Sanren to see. “It’s a good name.”

“Lan Xichen,” Cangse Sanren said, sounding it out and thinking over the meaning of the characters. “Yes, that’s a good name. Full of ambition and well-wishes…I bet the rotten trash-heap sees A-Huan as another incarnation of himself.”

Lan Qiren didn’t exactly disagree. Still, it would be rude to say so; he coughed and shook his head. “What about you?” he asked instead. “Are you and Wei Changze planning on giving A-Huan a playmate?”

And himself a student, in a dozen years or so. He’d started accepting students from rogue cultivators and other sects, just the way he’d planned; it was still in the early stages. He was still writing to small sects with fewer resources and offering to take their problem children because he knew that that was all they’d be willing to send to him, an outsider – there had always been lectures offered by the Great Sects, but they were one-off things, often accompaniments to discussion conferences or else excuses for the sects’ adults to gather and socialize while the children learned a few days’ worth of material. Taking another sect’s child for a full season, the way he planned to, was a much bigger ask. Much less to teach them his Lan sect rules, which weren’t even seen as applicable by the rest of the world…

Still, Lan Qiren had hope that eventually he would be able to demonstrate his merit; if his teaching worked with this first set of children, he hoped that it would work in the future for more of them. He hoped he’d be able to help them learn something, but even if he didn’t, they would at least have the experience of traveling – of visiting another place all on their own – so that if something happened in their lives to rob them of their freedom, they would at least have that much to remember. And in return, he would have them, his students, the feathers to brighten and color his dull nest and let him experience a little of what the world was still available to him.

Cangse Sanren laughed. “Not for a few years yet,” she said, eyes dancing. “You’re still safe! We want to have some time for ourselves, first – we’re going to travel around as rogue cultivators. I’ll write to you from every city, and send you things!”

Lan Qiren smiled.

“But only,” she said primly, “only if you promise me you’re not actually going to go through with growing that awful beard of yours again –”

“I’m a teacher now. I’m entitled!”

“You’re too young! You have to wait until you’re at least thirty for a beard.”

“By what rule?”

“My rule! Also my aesthetics; you’re so pretty –”

“I explained to you my reasoning already,” Lan Qiren complained. “What do you have against it, other than an aesthetic preference which is completely irrelevant to me?”

“I’m a rogue cultivator from Baoshan Sanren’s immortal mountain,” she proclaimed. “I seek to improve the world wherever it may be, fight evil and promote good, and keeping you clean-shaven is such a clear and vast improvement to the beauty of the world that it must be fiercely fought for –”

“Cangse Sanren!”

She burst out laughing. “How about this?” she giggled. “You can grow it after you’re thirty, or else whenever I’m not here, so that you can have it when you’re teaching your classes.”

“Thank you for your generous permission,” he drawled.

“No, no, it’ll be good!” she beamed at him. “That means that when I’m gone for good, you’ll have something to remember me by.”

Lan Qiren’s smile disappeared. “Cangse Sanren –”

“I told you long ago that I was doomed,” she reminded him. “Anyway, I’ve kept a low profile, haven’t I? I’m not dead yet, and you never know what might happen. And anyway, like I always said, a short life in exchange for a good life is a bargain I’m willing to strike…anyway, enough about me. Tell me about your children! The students, I mean; are they really all terrible bear children, without a single good trait between them?”

“They’re fine,” Lan Qiren said, distracted by what was quickly proving to be a new favorite subject. “I don’t know what everyone complains about with them. So what if they’re mischievous at first? In the end they all learn, you just have to give them attention and figure out what it is that they like, what will work to give them a basis to use in the future…”

“Surely some of them have to be disasters.”

“Don’t worry, I’m certain that your future child will be a fiend in human flesh born for the sole purpose of wreaking havoc on the serenity of my classroom,” Lan Qiren said dryly. “To be matched only by the inevitable offspring of Lan Yueheng and Zhang Xin, should they ever choose to put aside their furnaces and chemicals long enough to have them.”

Cangse Sanren giggled. “Just you wait,” she warned. “They’ll have a whole host of children, just like the common folk do; none of this two-and-done that you noble scions of the Lan sect prefer. They’ll have an entire horde for the next generation, and just when you think that you’re finally done with them, they’ll have an ‘accident’ twenty years too late, a child of their old age, and you’ll have to teach them alongside children young enough to be A-Huan’s heirs…”

“Why must you curse me?” Lan Qiren complained. “What have I ever done to you?”

It had been a good visit.

Yes, Lan Qiren thought, he was starting to adjust, little by little. The life he had now was not what he wanted, not what he’d dreamed of, but he could live with it – he had to, of course, but he thought that he also could. He would play for his nephew instead of a nameless crowd in a distant city, he would teach students a generation too early, he would only leave the Cloud Recesses on short excursions – night-hunting, or discussion conferences, or visits to his friends, to play with little A-Jue over in the Unclean Realm or the slightly older A-Xu in the Nightless City, whose would-be sibling had not made it despite Wen Ruohan’s concubine’s best effort. Wen Ruohan had written in his letter that he had promised her another as compensation, but only in a few years, once her body had fully recovered and A-Xu was old enough that another child wouldn’t be seen as a threat, which seemed fair to Lan Qiren.

He would live.

He might even enjoy it.

He only wondered a little, about Wen Ruohan – his sworn brother had, he thought, expressed some mangled version of feelings towards him, feelings that well exceeded the ordinary course for sworn brothers and which he thought he had made clear were not unwelcome, but amidst the hubbub that had later ensued Wen Ruohan had not spoken of it again. Lan Qiren could understand that he had been distracted, first by Lao Nie’s marriage – now ended, according to Lao Nie, who seemed as unperturbed by his announcement that his wife had disappeared permanently and would likely never be returning as he had by anything else about this mysterious woman that Lan Qiren had never had the chance to meet and now never would – and then by Lan Qiren’s brother’s situation.

And yet, he would have thought that there would be something…

Wen Ruohan has lived for generations, he reminded himself. He is an ancient monster of the old sort, unmatched by any other living being, excepting only perhaps those that long ago retreated into seclusion or the mountains. Waiting a year or even a few is for him little more than a brief pause. He may yet reach out again – and, of course, you could do the reaching out yourself, if you weren’t such a coward.

It wasn’t cowardice that stopped him, of course, no matter what names he called himself. It was uncertainty, and also, in his own way, a form of care – it was the Lan sect’s curse to love too strongly, to prioritize their hearts above all common sense. Lan Qiren did not want to burden Wen Ruohan with an offer that would not satisfy him, to hang around his neck an obligation of unwanted feelings the way his brother had done to He Kexin.

Lan Qiren could not see a way in which he could offer Wen Ruohan his heart and not his body, yet he knew himself well enough to know that he would be unhappy if he tried to offer both. He could exert himself if he really had to, force himself to go through the motions that seemed so dull and unpleasant, all squelching amidst bodily fluids and inelegant grunting and none of the attraction that other people had to compensate for it. But he couldn’t do so sincerely, and he wouldn’t be able to do it for very long without developing resentment at being forced to endure such a task routinely – and it did seem that regular people wanted it all the time.

Such a feeling, if ignored, would breed disorder between them, poisoning their hearts…no, Lan Qiren could not make the first move, to take the step that would breach the paper between them, change them from their current status as brothers and nothing more.

He had made his position clear.

The only question was – what would Wen Ruohan do about it?

#mdzs #lan qiren #cangse sanren #my fic #my fics #spilled pearls

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emergingsentiments · 3 years

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Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha: Episode 10 (Repost)

Loneliness must have drawn you back here, says Hwajung to Chohui. But these could have been words for Dusik and Hyejin, too. The past and current entanglements of Gongjin’s love affairs, after all, run parallel to each other. For Chohui, her mother’s death and her brother’s migration left her solitary, so it only seemed natural to return to somewhere familiar. Hyejin, on the other hand, visited the seaside town to reclaim the memory of happier times, when her mother was still alive. Dusik’s reasons are still obscured but the glimpses into the wakes he’s stood vigil by are compelling reasons behind his return.

Home, as I observed in the first episode of Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha, is where the heart is and the hurts are.

Episode 10 unfolded like the turning point that it is. As the previous chapters tackled the inner workings of all our characters, especially the progress of Hyejin and Dusik both as individuals and in their romantic engagements, we saw how people began to confront their fears. Whether it’s Cheonjae’s anxieties as a has-been singer and as a single father to a rebellious Juri or Gamri’s quiet suffering in her empty nest, the melancholy that undergirds the town’s surface pushed each one to face their scars and losses. For all the comic relief she brings, even Miseon had to brave confusion and rejection.

In this page of Gongjin’s tale, however, the theme of battling life’s greatest antagonist is truest among Dusik, Hyejin, and Seonghyun.

Poor Seonghyun, so new to the town yet so quick to have been thrown into the maelstrom of Gongjin’s charms and tragedies. His greatest fear was being late. He missed opportunities before, including in the postcard-perfect moments of his youth. Always an observer but never the one observed; always watching over Hyejin but always a step behind others in the line. If he were dancing, he’d be out of rhythm, too busy trying to memorize the choreography.

He has rehearsed his lines a thousand times. Will they come out right? Here, Lee Sang-yi gives Seonghyun his most graceful and yet graceless moment. Making an abrupt u-turn on his way to Seoul, he returns to Gongjin — late once again. Hyejin, attacked by a wandering sexual predator in town, has been saved by Dusik. If the shock of the night’s crime were not enough, he confesses the next evening to a Hyejin that had just mistakenly implied her growing affections for Dusik. She’s just had dinner, too.

Full and formal, Hyejin listens to Seonghyun’s lonely and tense confession. Sangyi delivers the lines Seonghyun has held onto for years. It’s a speech marked by jitters, fretful glances, and a slowly growing blush. Once out, he tries to stop the tension by marking the scene as a take. But the clapperboard humor isn’t enough. Hyejin watches him eat alone. She has no appetite.

Hyejin, for her part, couldn’t be blamed. She never really saw Seonghyun other than a senior to be admired. Yes, he’s saved her from a jerk before. But years of absence have made the heart grow duller instead of fonder. She’s also just come from an equally awkward dinner with Dusik, who is celebrating his grandfather’s death anniversary. There is no room for another meal. The night before — the night of the attack — she had slept in Dusik’s home for the third time as well.

At the first visit to his home, she kissed Mr. Hong on impulse and alcohol. On the second, she carried the weight and fears of an inebriated Dusik. On the third visit, she is traumatized from the night’s break-in, so now slips in to Mr. Hong’s clothes and stays over, unable to sleep unless Dusik’s around with poetry. He reads to her...It is my job to fall in love with you while waiting for you the next day. The antidote to Hyejin’s fear, after all, is Gongjin’s son.

But what does Hyejin fear? Well, it’s simple. She fears what she lost — her childhood, to be who she is. As a young girl who lost her mother, she had to grow up fast given her father’s alcohol-tinged coping mechanism. As a young woman, she had to build walls after a harsh rebuke of her lowly appearance. So she covers her scars with pretenses — and fancy shoes. Her clothes are her walls. Her life has been planned out. She steers this career with distinct professionalism and ambition. But it’s never ruthless. A woman-child, her core reveals a soft, compassionate heart.

This is what Dusik brings out in her. It’s not something Dusik necessarily gives. The two, after all, have their losses but they are whole persons, too. Dusik’s unconventional lifestyle and ways have eroded the surface of Hyejin’s fortress. Like salted sea slowly breaking down cliffs. With Dusik, she regains the lost child, the one who laughs when pieces of crab meat are flung to Dusik’s face. If that was Seonghyun, Hyejin would have been profusely apologetic and formal. But Mr. Hong is different. Around him, Hyejin can be unguarded, vulnerable.

Dusik, on the other hand, always saw her in a different light. Carrying the weight of unexplained grief, Dusik knows exactly what’s hidden behind Hyejin’s front. But for all his bravado, he’s afraid, too. The people he loved the most have left him, leaving him with an unimaginable sense of guilt. It’s what keeps him tethered to the idea of boundaries. He only likes Hyejin as a friend. But his eyes, his actions — they speak otherwise. If he admits to loving Hyejin, then the prospect of fresh losses cripple him. He’s an engineering graduate, so he has made the calculations. And yet, this strange woman who has returned from a childhood memory is urging him to take those risks and forget those probabilities.

He took a stab on the shoulder, one that nearly cost his life. Isn’t that love — or even the semblance of it? Why does Dusik need to certify his affections with assurance? Gamri, Gonjin’s wisest daughter, sees through Dusik’s barricades. Life’s brevity, she says, demands risks but most of all, honesty with oneself.

These are words worth ruminating in the evening breeze at the town’s breakwater.

It’s the same place where Hyejin finds him.

After a trip to Seoul to forget the town’s powers over her and Miseon, she realizes the city’s offerings were no longer attractive. Everything reminds her of Gongjin. She can’t stop thinking of Dusik. As a grown-up, Hyejin had sought security. Her instinct of self-preservation made her hard. Drenched in a sudden downpour in Seoul, she remembers her rain-soaked self with Dusik at the beach. It is enough for her to understand.

These realizations surge from Hyejin’s adrenaline-filled confession. Unable to deny her growing affections any further, she takes the plunge.

The child faces reality with simple acceptance. In the presence of a vulnerable Hyejin, things freely move and are themselves. The effects are immediately clear. Like any sensible woman, Hyejin knows Dusik could all but reject him, too. Who drives back from Seoul to rant about love, right? But Dusik understands. The hours waiting for her return were sooner than he had anticipated. But the man had made his calculations. The formulas are no longer useful.

True to himself, Dusik fulfills his new duty. It is my job to fall in love with you while waiting for you the next day. So he returns the confession with the most reasonable declaration: a kiss, first tender, one that leaves Hyejin breathless. He speaks but yearns for more. So he lets his lips touch hers for a second time. A kiss now free from all the tentativeness of the night.

A few weeks ago I read several criticisms about Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha. It’s cliched. People only watch it because the actors are popular. There’s nothing exceptional about a love story.

Cliched, true. But there is a reason why there are cliches because they are true. Do people only watch because the actors are popular? Perhaps. Perhaps not. A love story doesn’t hold a candle to the more intellectual and uncomfortable narratives available for consumption, right? You know, the stories that deal with war and violence, politics and its lack of virtue, the more profound tales that explore humanity or its degradation. But I fear this is an effort to leave the commonplace, the domestic, and the personal materials unattended for the sake of what seems profound. Yet, the production of these “better” and more profound stories does not offer any solace from suffering.

For over a year now, we’ve been fighting the wrath of an invisible virus. It might even be true to say that for many of us, we’ve lost someone dear, someone deeply loved. If not, we know someone who has dealt with these losses. Given the lockdowns and restrictions, even grieving has been abbreviated. Our reality is sobering. We fear many things. So while I don’t hold it against people to choose the more elevated tales, it would be a shame to dismiss those who gush over a love story as uncritical and frivolous.

Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha resonates with and appeals to many because it reminds us of the things we’ve lost to the pandemic. Face-to-face conversations. The stability of a job. Family. Friendship. The pat on the back. Our grandparents. Our first love. A hand to hold. Dinner with friends under the warmth of incandescent light. Office conversations. Senseless chatter. The thrill of falling in love. The smell of the sea, and the sand on our feet. Our best friend. The normalcy of a leisurely walk. Dancing in the rain. People. Our community. The words we wanted to say. A kiss.

In a world where physical intimacy and closeness are dangerous, we feel our lips with our fingers watching Hyejun and Dusik kiss. And we remember the way we were. Kim Seon Ho was right in saying Hometown Cha-Cha-Cha is a healing drama. To love and be loved, after all, remains the ultimate catharsis.

#hometown cha cha cha #kim seon ho #Shin Min Ah #kdrama #korean drama #갯마을 차차차 #writing #love #drama #homcha

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sabineelectricheart · 3 years

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After a Disastrous Banquet

Summary: Lucette is mad at Klaude for his poor performance at her first banquet as queen. He is very sorry about it.

Rating: K+ - Intended for general audience 5 years and older. Content should be free of any coarse language, violence, and adult themes.

Words: 1000

Notes: Girl’s chewing our boy Karma up. Enjoy!

When the door was shut, Lucette glared at her infuriating husband, shaking her head at him.

“What was that back there, Your Majesty?” She crossed her arms and glared at the man. “Are you trying to start a war? Is this it?”

Klaude looked down to the floor, now feeling utterly foolish. “Well, I… I did not enjoy watching him flirt with you so brazenly! Or at all, for the matter. He ought to be taught to respect their hosts.”

The young queen scoffed. She cannot believe that her stupid, stupid husband wants to justify behaving like a jealous boar in what could very well be the most important banquet of the year.

Every so often, the crowns of the region would throw a major party or a jousting championship. It is meant to be entertainment, yes, but also an opportunity for the monarchs to sit down and discuss the larger political issues that plagued their borders. In fact, the pheasant or the knights are not the main attraction, but rather the articulation between the various parties.

It is her first performance since her wedding and Lucette understood how vital it was for it to go well. She is the crystal-bearer, the Crown Princess of a country and Queen of another. Furthermore, she is a woman, and a witch to boot, neither of which inspire much trust. Her existence disturbs the balance of power in the continent, and it is vital that they send out a message of peace and stability to their neighbours, lest they form a coalition against them.

So, instead of acting like the proper nobleman that he has shown time and time again that he is, Klaude acts like a deranged lunatic under a spell. It took everything in his wife not to stab him with the fork from beneath the table. He set all her efforts back to square one, and she is about to murder him.

“Really? That is your excuse?” She looked at him, showing her rage towards him. “You are not his etiquette teacher, and he is a forsaken king, too. You are not to snip at every word that comes out of his mouth!”

“If there is something of value to be taken out of his honeyed words, I would have said so.” He muttered.

“Klaude! Do not make this situation worse than it already is, please!” Lucette snapped at the man. “Do you not realise how ashamed I was of your childish behaviour back there? Can you even imagine what absurd must have gone through the heads of our guests tonight? You behaved like a thirteen-year-old boy who lacks the very sense of maturity, and I am very disappointed in you, Your Majesty. I thought you knew better than this, I know you were raised better than this.”

The redhead man sighed, averting his eyes in shame. He understood the harm that he has done to his wife’s political efforts, and, well… It should be said that it is his kingdom, and his head, too. Not only he disturbed the proceedings, he endangered their political stability for petty matters.

“You are right, my lady. I know you are, and I’m so sorry.” He responded, as earnest as he could manage to convey. “If I could go back, I would. I would redeem myself and show some maturity on the matter.”

The woman shook her head.

“I do not mean to humiliate or excruciate you, Klaude, but it must be said that… I could not recognize you during this banquet. I saw a petty little boy getting annoyed at some old man’s words, not my intelligent, mature, and polite anointed husband. I truly missed him tonight.” She mumbled those last words, looking at the window, still without making eye contact with him.

“Lucette, please, look at me.” He pleaded, his eyes now with sorrow.

She played hard at first, but then gave in, gazing upon his verdant green irises, dull and contrite. She always loved the way they shone against his fair skin and vibrant hair, and there is very little that he can require using this look that she would not concede.

Klaude took her hands on his and kissed every knuckle. His wife looked at him, hardly impressed with his physical demonstrations of love.

“Are you quite done, Your Majesty?” Lucette sneered at him.

“Please, just listen to me.” He responded. “You have all the right to be mad and disappointed at me and I will apologize a hundred times if needed be, and a hundred times more. I… I understand that this is not an excuse, but something inside me moved when I saw the way he looked at you. I thought of protecting you from him, not assisting you to set such a tense dinner at ease.”

“You failed at all fronts, Your Majesty.” She snapped at him. “As a husband to his wife, as a proper gentleman to his guests and as a king to his subjects.”

He was taken aback for a few seconds before looking at his boots again. “I deserved that. I deserve your criticism, but I assure you that I certainly learned my lesson tonight”.

Lucette sighed and turned back at him, giving him a light hug. “I have no obligation to tolerate such a temper and ill-manners from no-one, lest of all from you. Do make sure it never happens again, Your Majesty, or a tongue-lashing will be the least of your problems.”

He took her hand in his, caressing his thumb. He kissed the back of her hand and then her wrist, despite the woman’s protests.

“I will, my lady.” Klaude smirked. “The next time, I will be a worthy man, king and husband of yours, my Lucette. You have my word.”

She was about to say something when he smiled at her once again.

“I know better than to carelessly break a promise to a witch, and the kings of this continent should be taught this lesson as well.”

*_*_*_*_*

Cinderella Phenomenon Masterlist

#cinderella phenomenon #Klaude Almonte

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your-1up-girl · 3 years

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Once Upon A Dream (Hera x Ventus)

Uhhh....okay so this wasn't supposed to post until the 31st but I must have gotten the queue wrong soooooo. Have an early gift.! I dedicate this fic to the very lovely and absolutely gorgeous @sammilimyy! Why do you ask? Because it’s her birthday (I'm early sorry)!!! I was so inspired by your royal/fantasy AU with Hera and Ven that I just had to write a fanfic for it. Now this is basically inspired by a certain movie from a certain company that shall not be named out of fear they will take this down, but if you know the song then you know the movie. I hope you like it Sam (and I hope that I got it on time for your b-day) have a happy and wonderful birthday!

Word Count: 4339

Pairing: Hera (OC)/Ventus (Kingdom Heart)

Warnings: Nothing but pure fluff! I hope you have a good Dentist Sammi, cuz this thing is gonna give you cavities!!!

It was happening again. This dream she found herself in was coming to her with much more frequency now. Always in this dream, Hera would find herself wandering through a forest where the birds graced her ears with beautiful melodies and the way the light filtered through the trees was practically angelic. In this dream, she would always wear a tea-length dress so it would not drag against the soft grass and dirty the pristine fabric. Said dress was adorn in mute yellow skirt and bodice with pale pink trimming and a bow in the back. It flowed with grace as Hera continued barefoot down the unmade path. A path she has taken several times before.

At this point she would reach a clearing where the trees created a canopy of sorts and the brush and wildflowers bloomed and grew with no outside interference. Standing in the middle of this clearing was a figure. It always looked like the spirit of a young boy. Someone who Hera would guess was about her age but taller than her. He had spiky hair and clothes that looked different from that of what she had seen in the nearby villages of the kingdom. As he turned to face her, she could see the phantom of a smile on his face but never his actual features. Soft music would fill the air as they approached each other and they began to dance. The soft whips of his fingers held her waist as they twilered and glided across the grass. They could never speak to each other but they could laugh. And Hera thought his laugh was better than any orchestra in the world.

Despite never speaking to this boy and only sharing these dances, Hera had fallen for this mysterious stranger. It was a dream, but in her heart, it all felt completely real. This boy was out there. At this point, after they had their dance, the music would end and Hera would wake up to the knocks of her Lady in Waiting telling her to start the day; but this time was different. For just a brief moment, when Hera looked up and faced the spirit, she could see him. It was still in a ghost like form but his features were there and she took it all into memory. The bangs across his forehead, the goofy yet loving smile he wore, and most importantly the shadowy blue eyes that looked back at her. He had never appeared tangible to her once during these late night rendezvous but after seeing him in this apparariton form, Hera knew. She was completely in love.

Hera woke with a start in her bed. The sudden movement had scared her Meow Wow Polly and her friend Naminé who was drawing the curtains to let light enter the room.

“Your Grace, you’re awake.” The Lady in Waiting spoke once the initial shock faded. “I knocked on the door to wake you, but you didn’t respond. Then, when I came in, you had the most peaceful smile on your face that I didn’t want to wake you just yet.”

Hera held her heart as Naminé spoke, remembering the dream once more. “Did you have another dream about him?” Naminé sat on the bed next to the princess as Polly let out a small whine and cuddled back into her owner.

“Yes, I did. We danced like we always do. But this time,” Hera paused as her smile became more giddy, “This time I saw him, Naminé.”

Naminé wore a similar smile at this development, “Really! That’s wonderful Princess. What did he look like?” Hera adjusted herself on the bed so Naminé could begin taking her hair out of the braids she wore to bed.

“Well, he still looked like a ghost of sorts but his facial features were there and not just a blank face. He had the most beautiful blue eyes, Naminé.” A love-struck sigh left Hera’s lips, “It was like looking into the night sky itself.”

“You are absolutely smitten with this boy. Do you think he’s real?”

“Why else would he appear to me in this dream? And remember, this isn’t the first time I’ve seen him.” Hera got out of bed and walked out onto the balcony. She leaned on the stone railing and gazed out into the horizon; her nightdress flowing in the early morning breeze. A sigh of doubt escaped her, “Naminé?”

Her Lady approached, “Yes Princess?”

“Answer me honestly, please. Do you think that boy is out there? Am I foolish to think that he could exist?”

Naminé’s eyes softened at her friend's sudden realization that this could all just be a dream. She held Hera close and spoke, “I think that in a world where magic exists and mythical creatures are a prominent part of our lives, having recurring dreams about a mysterious boy is calm by comparison.” This made Hera laugh, “I think he’s out there my Princess. If this truly is love that you feel, then you will both find your way to one another.”

After that, the day continued on as normal. Naminé helped Hera get dressed for the morning. Hera went to her lessons with Eraqus, the king. His lessons involved looking after the kingdom when she eventually came to rule. She had Keyblade training with Young Master Riku, Naminé would always remain close by during these lessons as the Lady in Waiting was very smitten with the Keyblade Master. And on this particular day, she ended her training with Master Aqua. The sworn protector of the Princess, Aqua specialized in magic and was well versed in wielding a Keyblade. She would teach Hera about combining magic into her basic attacks. However, Aqua took notice that Hera was not as focused as usual.

“Is there something bothering you Hera?”

“Huh? No Master Aqua, what makes you say that?” Their keyblades dissipated into the air signalling that they were done for the evening.

“It’s just that you haven’t been as focused as you should be during your lessons. And it’s not just with me, the King has noticed you’ve been more aloof with your teachings. Merlin has taken notice as well and so has Riku.” Hera hung her head in shame, should she tell Aqua about the dreams and the young boy? No, surely she would think the Princess crazy for looking into something like dreams. And falling in love with an apparition whom you don’t even know the name of would get her a lecture from the King. Hera couldn’t come up with a response quick enough but Aqua took the silence as something different. “You seem so worn out. Maybe you haven’t been getting enough sleep?”

At that, Hera’s head shot up, “Yes! Yes Master Aqua, that’s exactly it!” The sudden change in demeanor startled the blue haired Master from her train of thought. “I’m just so tired as of late Master Aqua. I think it would be best if I went off to bed now even. I had my dinner sometime before training so I’m not hungry.” Aqua blinked a few times. Hera seemed...excited to go to bed? It was an odd development in her attitude for sure but it seemed to be an improvement to what it was before so Aqua let it slide for now.

“Of course Your Grace, I’ll send for Naminé to meet you in your chambers to assist you for the night. Sweet dreams Princess Hera.” It was hard for the young girl to contain her excitement and Aqua could have sworn she heard a whispered, They will be as Hera passed.

Naminé carefully brushed Hera’s hair in the large bed of the royal chambers. Both girls wore their nightgowns and were discussing the events of the day. Polly sat comfortably in Hera’s lap, listening just as intently as if she were to join the conversation at any moment.

“I couldn’t help but notice that you were paying extra attention to Master Riku’s lessons today.” Hera jested with her best friend; a smirk proudly displayed on her face.

“At least one of us was.”

“Hey! Naminé!” The Princess turned to push the blonde girl as they both laughed in the empty, fire lit room. “He likes you, you know.”

“Oh please, I’m just a maid, he wouldn't like me.”

Hera thought about this for a moment as Naminé worked an intricate updo into the Princess's hair for the night. She could tell her friend was discouraged by this separation of class so she tried to lighten the mood, “If he rejects you, I’ll have him beheaded.” Naminé nearly choked on her own saliva and snorted out a laugh. Having accomplished her mission in making her friend laugh, Hera joined as well.

“As kind as that is, please Hera, don’t kill anyone on my behalf.” Naminé was grateful for the joke and Hera enjoyed the lack of formalities with her best friend. The conversation continued in this matter but before Naminé got up for the night, Hera asked her a question.

“You want me to draw you a picture?”

“Yes, please, if it’s not too much to ask?” Naminé, not wanting to refuse her friend or the Princess, took a piece of parchment from the desk, some graphite, and a flat board to give her some stability and joined Hera back on the bed.

“Alright Hera, what is your request?”

“I want you to draw the boy from my dreams.” Big, pleading blue eyes met confused blue ones as Naminé took in what Hera asked.

“I-Your Grace-Hera, you know that I don’t know what he looks like, yes?”

“Oh, I know. That’s why, you’re going to sit next to me and I’m going to watch you draw as I describe him to you.” Hera grabbed the pillow next to her and made room for her friend and tapped the spot. A small smile adorned the Lady’s face as she made herself comfortable and ready for the long night ahead of her.

~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, in the outskirts of the Kingdom, some yards away from the borders, a young farm boy sat upon the roof of his home looking at the horizon as the sky changed from warm tones to cool blues and the stars greeted him for the night. He came to look out into the sky when he needed to clear his head. And after having a busy day of training, fram work, and running errands, Ventus was in need of a small break. Not to mention that this moment alone gave him some time to think about the spirit girl he saw in his dreams. At first, Ventus just blew it off. Strange dreams happen all the time, take ‘em with a grain of salt. But then, she kept coming back, the same girl, in the same forest, with the same dress, and the same beautiful smile. God that smile. It was barely noticeable with the form that she took in his dreams but Ven was in love with it nonetheless.

He chuckled to himself. There I go again, Terra would have a fit if he could hear me. Falling in love with a forest spirit just because she danced with you in a recurring dream was ridiculous. Right? Ventus sighed and ran a hand through his hair, groaning when he had to pick more sticks out from when he fell herding the animals earlier. That girl made sleeping more exciting yet also somewhat frightening. Why did he see her all the time? Was she some sort of nymph? Was she even real? Would she love him back? And, why did he feel such disappointment if the answer was no? He didn’t even know this girl, and yet? Ventus put his hand over where his heart would be and gripped that part of his shirt. This girl had his heart and he didn’t know what to do about it.

“Ven? Ventus? Where are you?” Terra stepped out of the house to call for the young boy. It made Ven laugh just a bit. No matter how many times Ventus escaped to this spot, Terra never thought to check there. “Come on Ven, you’ll never get to be a royal guard if you don’t get a good night’s sleep!”

“And you will never be a detective if you don’t think to check in the obvious spots for the suspect.” Terra turned to see that Ventus was in fact, on the roof. They both shared a laugh and Ven made his way down. “If you keep yelling then you’ll wake the Tama Sheep and the Electricorn.” They both made it back inside the house and Ventus sat with a warm tea Terra had made. The young blond sat and stared at the tea with a look that was both focused and unfocused all at once.

“Hey Terra, do you believe in love at first sight?”

The brunette sat across from the boy and pondered the question, “I think it’s possible. I think that if someone really is the one then you’ll just know.”

“Hmm.”

“You thinking about your dreams again?”

“Yeah. It’s always with the same girl. She comes to that forest, doesn’t say a single thing to me, just laughs, and we dance. They’re getting more frequent and-” Ventus paused a small smile creeping onto his face.

“And?” With raised eyebrows, Terra waited for a response.

“And...I saw her face.” Ven couldn’t hide the smile or blush at this point and Terra’s eyes widened, not expecting that to be his response. “It was all ghosty and weird like the rest of her but I could see her eyes and the way they had so much life to them. I saw her and I just fell for her, Terra. Even more than I already am in love with her.”

“Does she look like anyone you know? Maybe it’s someone from the marketplace?”

“No, her clothes look different from that of the marketplace or even from the nearby towns. I could be wrong but they kinda look like a type of nobility.”

“Wow, look at you; dreaming about a Duchess.” It never crossed either of their minds as they drank the tea that the mysterious girl could have been a princess. Terra listened more to Ven’s recounting of dreams as it got a bit later. An hour had passed and the tea was all gone and both boys sat at the table trying to figure out what to do about the spirit girl.

“I think you should go talk to a woman who goes by Fairy Godmother. No one knows her real name but she is really good at figuring out people’s dreams. She lives on the far side of Traverse Town near the kingdom borders.” Ven listened closely. “If anyone can help you out, it’s her.” It was discussed that Ventus would take one of the Yoggy Rams and travel there tomorrow morning.

By early morning light, Ventus did just that. It was a long ride but not too tedious. Around mid-afternoon Ventus arrived at Traverse Town and began asking for this Fairy Godmother. Some people lead him to the back of the town where, in the middle of a water well, there was a house that was similar to that of a doll’s but less childish. Ventus carefully walked over the rocks with his Yoggy Ram to the front door and gave it a pensive knock. He waited no more than a minute when a kind looking older woman answered the door. She smiled at him like she was his grandson and enveloped him into a hug.

“Oh hello young man, it’s good to see you. Please, please, come in. Let your Ram drink from the water around my house. I don’t mind. I just prepared some warm milk if you would like some.” Fairy Godmother brought him into the quaint living room and he lifted the milk to his lips taking a sip. It tasted faintly of vanilla and hazelnut; it made Ventus smile. “So,” Fairy Godmother sat across from him in her own plush chair, “How can I help you dear.”

“My friend told me that you could help me with my dreams?”

She lightly laughed and placed her tea cup down, “Yes, he is correct; dreams tend to be my specialty. Tell me everything my dear.” Ventus did just that. From the smiles, to the laughs, and all the joy he felt in between. When he finished, he sat anxiously for the answer. “Hmm, this sounds like a very special girl.”

“She is Fairy Godmother.”

“But you have never seen her before?”

He hung his head, “No I haven’t Fairy Godmother.”

“And yet you’re in love with her.” There was no malice in this question and she asked knowing exactly what his answer would be.

Ventus sighed, the milk long finished as he searched for his answer, “I-Fairy Godmother, I know it sounds crazy to love someone you have never met but, my heart tells me that she is someone who I want to spend the rest of my life with. I don’t have much to give. I am a stable boy who is training for a guard position and doesn't have much control of his Keyblade yet and I can be kinda naive but I love her. More than anything.”

The Fairy Godmother smiled at his answer; it had exceeded her expectations. “That’s even better than what I had expected you to say.” She stood up and went to a bookshelf and handed him a map. A map of the kingdom more specifically. “You see this area?” She pointed to an unnamed forest that was about halfway to the castle and his ranch. “There is no name on the map but people call it The Somnium Forest. It’s a magical forest where people go when they need help in their lives. They say that it feels like time stops when you enter and no one leaves the forest unsatisfied. The inside of the forest, they say, never looks the same for one person.” She held Ventus’ hands in hers, “Tomorrow young man, I want you to go to the Somnium and walk around for a bit. I’m sure it will help you with your dreams.”

Ventus wasn’t sure how a forest would help, but he was willing to try. He gave the Fairy Godmother one last hug and left with his Yoggy Ram.

Returning to the castle once more. Hera walked around the grounds with more disdain than usual. Why? She didn’t dream about the boy. His picture was carefully placed in her tea-length dress pocket (courtesy of a very late drawing session with Naminé) but having the paper wasn’t the same as seeing him in her dreams. It had only been a day and yet it was enough to put her in an upsetting mood. It was to the point that she didn’t want to hang around the castle anymore. That was how she found her way to the library asking Merlin for his map of the kingdom.

“Any place you want to go, in particular Young Hera?” He asked with his usual chipper tone.

“No, just want to explore, get out for a bit.” Hera held her head in her left hand as her right hand grazed over the different locations of the map, pointer finger out. She could go to the castle town? No, that was far too close to home. She could go to the outskirts and explore the hills that acted as the land border on the west side? No, if she was gone for too long Aqua would have a fit. Her eyes noticed a forest and that peaked her interest. “Merlin, what’s this place?”

He adjusted his glasses, “Ah! You mean The Somnium Forest? It’s a place where dreams come true as they say.” He takes a sip of his tea, “People go in there and not one person leaves upset. Forest is magical.”

“A magical forest?” Hera could use some more magic in her life. And even if it wasn’t, having the comfort of a forest setting could give her some semblance of her dream. “Thank you for your help Merlin, could I trouble you to watch Polly while I’m gone?”

“Oh it would be no trouble at all Princess! I love the little thing after all. Come along Polly, let’s see what potions I can make to help Aerith in the garden.” The Meow Wow and the Wizard walked in tandem as Hera packed the map and made her way to the stables. As much as she wanted to leave with no one’s notice, the brunette unfortunately ran into Aqua.

“Oh Princess Hera, why are you heading to the stables?”

“I just wanted to take my Pegaslick and explore for a bit. I’m not sure when I will be back so can you tell Naminé that she has the rest of the day off? Maybe tell her to have some sweets with Master Riku.”

“Princess, by yourself? Are you sure you don’t want me to join you? I could quickly-”

“No, Master Aqua, I’m fine.” Hera didn’t feel good about brushing her Master and protector off but she needed to go to this forest. It was calling her the same way her dreams did.

She got to the stables and had the royal stable boy Prompto helped ready her Pegaslick. “The reins are all good, Your Grace, enjoy your ride.”

Hera took off after a quick thank you and without a second thought. It was difficult to ride while holding the map but after an hour, Somnium Forest greeted her. She got off the Pegaslick and decided to walk the remainder, her companion close to her side.

Upon entering, the Princess did feel different. There was a strong happiness that washed over her. The fresh smell filled her nose and the grass seemed so soft that she took off her riding boots, hanging them on the saddle and continued barefoot. Eventually, Hera found herself walking deeper into the trees but she couldn’t find it in herself to worry about getting lost. A part of her knew that she wasn’t. In fact, the way the trees and flowers created a path. And the light through the trees. Her dress flowing in the soft breeze and the birds. It all made her stop to pinch herself.

“This has to be a dream.” A whisper that she barely heard left her lips but the muzzle of her Pegaslick acted as a reasurace that this was all real. With a new found fervor, Hera kept going.

On the other hand, Ventus was having the same feeling of déjà vu; only he bounded into the forest with reckless abandon. All these trees, flowers, and rocks he rode past were familiar to him. And as he approached a clearing, he knew this was the moment of truth.

They stared at each other on either side of the clearing. Both shook with excitement but neither moved out of fear of breaking this perfect scene. Ventus had to get off his Yoggy Ram but his eyes never once left hers. Carefully, they approached and once they met in the middle?

“You-are you-?” Hera couldn’t speak. So overwhelmed with joy that he stood before her as a flesh and blood person and not just some apparition. Rather she took out her drawing from the dress pocket and held it up. “It is you.”

Ventus held her face and she leaned into his touch. He wiped a tear that fell from her eye and nodded his head. “The boy from the dreams? Yes, that’s me.” Hera dropped the picture and hugged him. Her arms around his middle and his holding her head into his chest.

“I thought you weren’t real. I thought the universe was playing a horrible trick on me.”

“I promise I’m real. My name is Ventus, and I have wanted this moment ever since that first dream we had.” The dropped drawing was retrieved and put back into her pocket.

“Ventus,” What a beautiful name, “I am Hera. Your voice is so wonderful! I’m so glad to finally hear it!”

“The Princess? I’m so stupid for not recognizing you sooner. I must say Hera,” Ven brushed her hair behind her ears, “The dreams don’t do you justice. I didn’t think there could be a blue more clear than the sky, yet your eyes puts it to shame.” Hera blushed and smiled, wiping some tears from her cheeks. “There is just one thing missing to make our dream a reality.” Hera tilted her head. What more could they want? “There may not be music but, may I have this dance?”

He was right, no music played in this forest, but Hera happily accepted his hand as they moved across the grass. The laughter sounded even better than any of the nights they shared.

Off behind the trees, Aqua watched with the purest expression. Against her better judgement, she followed the young Princess to see if she was alright. Once she saw Hera with this young boy she knew everything was fine.

“So, you followed her I’m assuming?” Aqua looked and saw Terra approach as he went to the spot next to her.

“Yes, and I take it that he is yours?”

“Yeah, less ‘mine’. I’m more of his friend slash guardian.” They watched the kids dance and laugh and converse in the clearing. Terra broke their silence again, “Ventus, he’s training to be a royal guard.”

“Is he now?” Aqua smiled as she knew where this conversation was headed.

“Yes, I’m just a stable boy like him but I did undergo some training as well. I teach him everything and he is a very fast learner. I don’t want to overstep my boundaries but, perhaps the Princess could use another personal guard?”

Aqua laughed and didn't take her eyes off of the lovely couple as, "Yes, I'm sure Her Majesty would love that."

#I hope I did your baby justice Sammi #I feel like the ending was kinda a let down but I hope you like it Sam!#I took what you said about Ven being inspired by Link and kinda added to that.#The only Link I know is from Twilight Princess so that is my inspiration. :)#but this was so much fun to write #as you can tell #I love fantasy/royal aus #and I am Hera's aunt so I thought this was fitting #Plus i wanted to do something nice for your birthday since you drew something for me #I'm just glad I wrote it on time #Hera x Ventus #kingdom hearts #ocs #original character #not my oc #my writing #OUaD #enjoy

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nctinfo · 4 years

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[TRANS] Johnny & Jaehyun’s interview with W Korea May 2020 issue!

Today was a day where we borrowed the cinematic imagination of the 1996 film <Romeo and Juliet" directed by Baz Luhrmann and created two Romeos. Both of you portrayed the 'Modern Day Romeo' well, how did you think the shooting went? Johnny: It felt like we came out to play. The setting too, it felt just like any small town in America. When I was leaning against the bed during the shoot, I danced excitedly while holding a bunch of grapes (laughs). Romeo, I think, is someone who is honest with his feelings and who wants to achieve love till the end. Thanks to this, regardless of what others might think, I had fun during the shoot. Jaehyun: From the Hawaiian shirts with palm trees to leopard print belts. Above all, the outfits were bold. The point of today was to act like someone who plays around and has always worn this kind of style. There was a scene [in the movie] where Romeo flips over the white blankets and plays around with Juliet, but it wasn't easy [to portray that scene] because of the blood that rushed to my face (laughs).

It’s a shame we don’t have a Juliet today. If you were to summon Juliet right now, what outfit would she appear in? And what do you imagine would be the first thing she says? Johnny: A simple outfit would be nice. For today’s shoot I was wearing a white short sleeved t-shirt and cream coloured jeans, so Juliet would have a similar vibe and would say ‘Are you doing well?’ filled with affection and excitement. Jaehyun: She’d appear in a white t-shirt and blue jeans. With a short ‘I missed you’.

There are two male leads in the movie <Romeo and Juliet>. There is Romeo who is a romanticist with rich emotions but who is hesitant in front of love, and there is Tybalt who is a calm strategist but sometimes emits fiery charms like a bulldozer. Between the two, who do you feel like you're similar to? Johnny: I think I'm similar to Tybalt who wants to be like Romeo. I'm the type of person to carry out something immediately when you decide on it. On the other hand, I want to learn from Romeo's attitude to be faithful and honest with your feelings the moment you fall in love. Jaehyun: I'm the opposite of Johnny. I think I'm Romeo who wants to resemble Tybalt's calm and analytical side. Normally, I'm the type to follow my feelings rather than reasoning, so if I had to choose between the two, it would be Romeo.

If some day your story gets made into a movie, what song would you want to be played in the ending credits? Johnny: On bright sunny days like lately the mood is refreshed and tender. If the movie will be about me in spring, then Mac Miller’s ‘Circles’ would be nice. If I ever get to make a movie in the future, any Coldplay song would be good. Coldplay’s music feels like home, music genres come and go, but in the end when I need stability I always seem to turn to Coldplay. Jaehyun: In my own movie, first of all I don’t think we need a post credit scene (laugh). I’ve always cherished Chet Baker’s ‘I fall in love too easily’. It’s a tasty song that you can listen to on repeat with an empty head, without thinking anything. Chet Baker’s trumpet performance and voice always strangely draw my ears in.

The title song 'Kick It' of your 2nd full album <NCT#127 Neo Zone> that was released in March actively incorporates the identity of cine kids hero, Bruce Lee. Taking over Bruce Lee's baton, is there a movie protagonist who you want to express musically? Johnny: Exactly two people come to mind. First, Brad Pitt from the movie <Fight Club>, I want to try a song with a strong beat with a fighter's unique fiery temperament. It would be great to incorporate the shocking twist of the movie. The other is Will Smith in the movie <The Pursuit of Happiness>. It's a 'life' movie I want to give five stars. No matter what twists and turns, it's a movie that eventually ends with a happy ending. It would be nice to sing [a song] with a message that even though it's hard now, you'll be happy in the end. A slow ballad would suit that, right? Jaehyun: Even though I acted as him today, Romeo would be fun [to express]. It would be a song that shouts love, but it would be perfect if it contains everything from joy, anger, sorrow, and pleasure like in the movie. When I think of James Dean in the movie <Rebel Without a Cause> I imagine music that puts together spicey funky beats based on the old sounds of jazz bands. Recently I'm really into jazz, soul, and R&B, so a band sound is essential.

Even if it's not someone who everyone knows like Bruce Lee, is there someone you two consider to be a hero? Johnny: I don't really express it well normally, but my mom? I'm an only child that was born late, so I always stuck to my mother when I was young. Looking back, I think my mother was a person who sacrificed herself to her family but still valued her happiness. I want to resemble the way she always lives consciously while having fun. It was my mother who taught me how to feel and enjoy every moment. My mom often told me that the experience of 'trying' something is important. For example, I spent my childhood in the United States, and no matter what, we always celebrated the independence day, which is on July 4th, with family and watched the fireworks. On days when the moon was bright and full, we'd be outside watching it. Thanks to this, I think I've grown up as a person with rich emotions. Jaehyun: my grandmother. Despite nearing 80 years old, she had been a dancer until recently and is now retired. She doesn't miss the broadcasts I appear on and watches everything, and after the broadcast ends, she will always send me long KakaoTalk messages with feedback. Because she's a dancer, there are times when she points out my fingertips and neckline but in general, she tells me what kind of mindset I should have when it comes to life. I always get advice from teachers and people around me, but strangely, every word from my grandmother seems to really pierce me. [She tells me] Don't mind others, live enjoying everything you can take on. I still hold [those words] close to me.

It's been quite a while since the first stage you did in the name of NCT 127. What was the driving force behind you during this long time? Johnny: fans, members, family. Looking back, it seems like it was people that led me. Fans are the 'reason' for me to do something. The members are my companions who walk together for this reason, and wouldn't my family be my roots. Having a place to go back to is a completely different story. I think it's family that shows me that I can fall sometimes and that I have somewhere to go back to. Jaehyun: I was able to endure my trainee days purely because I liked music. It's the same now. Of course, our fans who like our music and who come and watch our stages are a great strength too. One difference is that, until now, I relied on the people around me and tried to lean my body on the 'crew', but I seem to have found a driving force within myself recently. I give myself strength by pushing myself or complimenting myself, that's how I find enlightenment within myself. In this sense, as a human, I feel like I'm going through a time of maturity.

If you could go back in time, what would you tell yourself if you could pat yourself on the back right before going up on the stage for the first time? Johnny: ‘Have confidence. Even if your spirits fall, work on everything’. I don’t know how it might have looked on the outside but my state of mind now seems to be very different from then. I’m much more free now. I kept telling myself that I’m nice and confident, and now I think I am able to stand confident like this. I don’t know why I only saw the flaws in the past. Now, rather than trying to make up for my weaknesses, I tend to focus on maximising my strengths instead. Jaehyun: ‘Do what you want, what you think is right and what you like. Of course I know you’ll do fine, but it would be nice to be a bit more daring.’

What are 3 adjectives that describe you? Johnny: Energetic, romantic, selfish. The last word I chose because I think in order to make another person happy, I need to be happy myself and only when I have a sense of security I can care for other people. Jaehyun: I like classic stuff so first of all, classic, continuous because I always try to learn and grow, and firm in terms of trying to remain as stable as possible.

What were you born with, and on the other hand what weren’t you born with that you’re trying to achieve? Johnny: Seems like I was born with curiosity. Like I’ve mentioned before, my mom has influenced me a lot. On the other hand I want to make passion my thing. Sometimes I look at the members when I’m lazing around. Everyone has their ‘one passion’! Jaehyun: Ever since I was little I would always fix the TV at home whenever it broke down. I think I’ve been born with dexterity. I seem to be good at sports, but I really need flexibility (laugh). I also want to break up with my short lived resolve. To speak, I lack persistence a little. When I really like something or if I have a clear reason to do it, my body moves. If there’s neither, I fall into the swamp of one short lived resolve to another. (laugh)

As a listener of <NCTs Night Night>, a show that was hosted by the two of you in the past, I think you were compassionate and were counselors who had shown more empathy than other people of your age. Today, let's write the concerns of you two. What's your biggest concern now after passing April 12th, 2020? Johnny: Although it's a little embarrassing to say it in words, my biggest concern these days is how to be a strength for the fans who we can't meet because of the recent situation. Most importantly, I don't want to be distressed and spend this time more meaningful. Jaehyun: What the heck to do at home! I'm the type to be very active. Nobody can go outside so I'm working hard in trying to find something I can do home alone. I've watched movies, listened to music and cooked, but I can't help but still feel the itch [to do something].

When you watch your web variety show <NCT LIFE>, you two are often seen standing in the kitchen. Is there any dish you want to make for that one precious person in the future? I wonder what the specific recipe is and what the mood of the day will be like. Johnny: First of all, I wanna make breakfast. Omelets are good to eat in the morning. Omelets are well made when you think 'even though it's bad, it's good'! Stir-fry onions and bell peppers until they become sweet, then sprinkle some pepper to finish it. The time would be good at 09:30 am when the sunlight is strong enough to see the dust. That precious one would be sitting in a chair (laughs). The table will be set with cutlery and two cups of coffee. So that you can open the morning in a relaxed and simple manner. Jaehyun: Samgyetang and stir-fried pork, is that too native? (laughs) If I had to choose one, I will pick the stir-fried pork that was also complimented on <NCT LIFE>. Sometimes only red pepper paste or red pepper powder is used for the sauce, but I tend to use both. It would be great if there was a pretty plate with fruit too, it's the perfect dessert.

Even if it’s not a cooking moment, what’s the time, place, thing or person that makes you the most gentle? Johnny: From noon to 2pm. I feel the most peaceful when the sun is shining at that time. I don’t really care about the place. As for a thing, a scented candle that I have received as a gift while filming <NCT LIFE> in Thailand. For people, anyone! Jaehyun: Late night nearing the dawn. I really like watching the night view. I think the Han River could make me the most gentle. Personal things like earphones or speakers. Being together with family would be nice.

As a person and as a musician, what time do you think you’re going through? Johnny: I always feel like I'm at the starting line. Even when I do the same thing, I have to have a new mindset in order to grow. Jaehyun: It’s a slow process for humans but I seem to be slowly becoming more mature. As a musician, when the time comes I’ll be looking from a distance thinking I’m making ‘my own’ thing.

Translation: Alex, Esmee @ FY! NCT (NCTINFO) | Source: W Korea Scans — Do not repost or take out without our permission!

#NCT #johnny #jaehyun #t:trans #t:interview #W Korea #W Korea: May 2020

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alice-dont-break · 4 years

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based on an anon request from the angst prompt list: “any other lies left to tell me?”

let me in | janthony one shot

cw: alcoholism

When Anthony was coming home later at night, Jasmine nearly always ignored his pleas to not wait up for him. He didn’t want her to lose sleep because of him, but she knew that her sleep would be more restful if she just waited. She’s gotten used to falling asleep in an empty bed because she’s been forced to, but nothing could compare to sleeping next to her love. The way he holds her tightly in his arms, enveloping her in his warmth and sweet but musky scent, lulls her into the most peaceful trance that allows her to drift so effortlessly into a deep sleep. It’s simply always worth waiting.

Anyway, by the time she’s finished putting their nine year old daughter to sleep and getting herself ready for bed, it’s usually almost 11 o’clock. Anthony rarely stays out much later than that, so it’s easy for Jasmine to relax in bed with her scented candles and a book until she hears him tiptoeing up the stairs.

His caution to avoid waking their sleeping daughter always made her smile, but even more so when she watched him slowly and carefully open their own bedroom door. It was endearing how after all these nights, he actually thought she might be asleep.

Tonight was one of those classic nights, until Jasmine realized that chapters and chapters had gone by without any sign of her husband. She reached to her bedside table for her phone, hoping to see a text, but was met with a blank lock screen.

She hated being that clingy, needy wife, but at this point she was nervous. It was nearly 1 o’clock in the morning and he was never out this late. She needed to text him, if only for her peace of mind.

Hey babe, you okay?

When minutes passed with no response, Jasmine felt her mild concern sink into complete nerves. This was about more than a late night. More than the loneliness of falling asleep next to an empty pillow. This was about a promise.

Years ago, Anthony made her a promise that held together the fraying seams of their relationship. After hours of spewing whiskey-scented lies, Anthony faced an ultimatum from his wife: vow to stay sober and call her when he needed help, or leave.

Since then, he’s been steady. He hasn’t faltered in his commitment, though he’s absolutely struggled. Jasmine felt no animosity when he called her at a late hour, having gone out with friends and found hard to fight against the pressures to drink. She’d simply roll out of bed, throw on some shoes, drive to him and bring him back home with his hand held tightly in her lap. When they would get inside, she’d look him in the eyes and ask the simple question. “Did you drink tonight?”

The answer was always no, and she would know if he’d been lying. Though truthfully, she wouldn’t have been terribly upset if he’d told her he’d messed up and had a drink. What mattered to her was the call; that indication that he was still in this fight to get better, and that their lines of communication were open.

Over the years, he’s built back up Jasmine’s trust. She was always willing to give him the benefit of the doubt now, knowing how hard he’s been fighting for so long. But tonight, she was rocked by the lack of communication. This was as unusual as a slip up would be.

She tried earnestly to hold it together, to keep her hope alive, but hot tears were burning in her eyes. She slunk down the stairs to wait on the couch. There was no way she’d sleep until he was home, and this way she could see his face sooner.

When she heard the click of the lock and creak of the front door swinging open, she was flooded with equal parts relief and fear. He was safe, but was he really?

“Baby, whatchu still doing up?” He said softly, kicking off his shoes and coming up behind the couch to kiss the top of her head.

She took a breath, reveling in the warmth of a simple but loving moment, before turning around to face her fear. “Where were you, babe?” Her voice wavered; she was afraid of her own words.

“Hey,” he cooed, noticing her bubbling over emotions and rushing over to sit beside her. “What’s going on, Jas? I was just out with the guys, I’m okay.”

“You said you’d be back... and you didn’t text...” she whimpered. “If you did something, just tell me... please.”

“Jasmine, you can trust me,” he breathed out in exasperation, “you know I don’t do that shit anymore.”

His breathy words and slight slur betrayed him, as the scent of that all-too-familiar dark liquor wafted over to Jasmine. His eyes were downcast, too captivated by the fidgeting of his fingers to be innocent. She scanned him up and down as fire burned through the last ounce of hope she’d carried with her.

“Look me in the eyes and tell me you didn’t drink tonight,” she said, clawing for every bit of stability her lungs would allow.

“I.. I didn’t, Jas. Or I didn’t... I didn’t mean to,” he said softly, tears starting to well in his eyes. “I just ... I don’t know how -“

“Stop,” she said plainly, “any other lies left to tell me?”

Anthony sucked his lip between his teeth and looked up at his wife for the first time, revealing his heavy-lidded, bloodshot eyes. “Jasmine, please. I tried not to, but you know how anxious I’ve been lately - “

“You fucking promised me, Anthony,” she spat. “You promised to call if you needed help, you promised.”

“I know Jas, I know I fucked up, but I’m not wasted... I’m really not. I had two drinks, that’s it.”

“It’s not just two drinks when you’re stressed and so out of control that you lie to your wife!” She whispered harshly, jumping up to her feet. Anthony rose to meet her, standing just inches apart. He murmured ragged apologies trying to hold her by the waist, but she thrashed in his grip. She pounded her fists against his chest, hushedly crying out “why would you do this to us?”

He held her wrists, but didn’t really try to hold her back. Now that she stood before him openly bawling, he realized he deserved it. After just a few seconds, she was worn out and let her head fall forward so her forehead rested his chest. He nodded down too, to hold his lips against her curls. Anthony knew now that apologies were just words, so he focused on feeling her breath.

Finally, Jasmine looked up at him with lifeless eyes staring right through him. “Leave,” she whispered.

Anthony felt his ribcage contracting and squeezing his heart. His lungs were empty and a weight sunk down his entire body. “Jasmine, please, I’ll do anything-“

“Shut up,” she rasped, “I’m telling you to leave because we have a beautiful, beautiful little girl upstairs and I will not let her hear her parents fighting like this.” Jasmine clumsily rubbed away her tears and bit down hard on her lip. She felt his eyes searching her for answers, but she didn’t have them. “I’ll tell her you got home late and had to leave early. Just get a cab to your brother’s, or your mom’s, and when you come back, be sober and ready to talk.”

Anthony squeezed his eyes shut and nodded slowly. When he opened them, all he could do was whisper “I love you.” In those three words, he was begging her to let him stay.

“Dont you see that I’m doing this because I love you? Because I don’t want your daughter to lose the perfect relationship she has with her father? If we go upstairs now, I don’t trust myself or you. I don’t want her to hear us fighting, or smell it on you, or sense anything is off so I want you to get out and understand that you cannot be drunk in this house with our daughter. You cannot lie to me in this house with our daughter. Do you understand that Anthony? Do you understand that I’m doing this for you and for us, because I love you?”

Anthony clenched and unclenched his fists, shaking his head and pulling himself back into the moment. “Yes, Jas. Thank you. I know I fucked up, but you two are everything to me. You’re just my whole world, and I won’t... I won’t risk losing it... I’m gonna figure this out somehow and I won’t come back until I do,” he gulped.

“No, don’t be ridiculous,” she mumbled, stepping forward to cup his cheeks. “You’ll come back tomorrow after I’ve taken her to school and we’ll figure this out together. Just because you fucked up on your own, doesn’t mean you have to fix it on your own. That’s what this means.” She pulled back her hand and pointed at the wedding ring.

“So you’re not... we’re not...” he whimpered, voice cracking with every word.

“Of course not, Ant,” she whispered, leaning in to press their foreheads together. Her hands roamed up his back, kneading his shoulders before letting them twist through his curls. “I know you’re hurting,” she said even quieter, right against his lips, “and I’m still here for you. I’m just telling you to leave because I know you and I know how much worse you’ll feel if you hurt me more tonight or god forbid hurt our baby. So please go now, okay?”

He nodded, keeping their foreheads together until her lips met his own. He felt a surge of life at her tenderness. The salty melange of their tears could have broken him if he weren’t so focused on her soft caresses. Once they parted, he gazed deep into her eyes for just one fleeting breath, before turning to put on his shoes. He left wordlessly, opting to call the cab from the front steps. He couldn’t handle the shame for one more second.

When Jasmine had nightmares about Anthony drinking again, they always ended with her crying inconsolably. But now that she was left alone, hunched over with her hands bracing her weak body on the back of the couch, she simply didn’t have the energy. She felt so drained that all she could do was guzzle some water, pop a tylenol for her impending headache, and traipse up the stairs. She opened her bedroom door, but before she could even cross the threshold she was overwhelmed. He was embedded in every inch of space, in every breath of air, and it simply hurt too much; not because he hurt her, but because he was hurting and she couldn’t be there.

Jasmine knew there was only one place right now she could approach any semblance of the love and comfort she was craving. Silently, she crept down the hallway and into her daughter’s room. Their little girl slept like a rock, so she knew she could slip under the covers and Cassidy would be none the wiser. Jasmine snuggled up tightly to her daughter’s back, securing her close with an arm around her waist. She buried her face in the younger girl’s curls, inhaling the familiar scent that opened her chest for the first time all night. As soon as she felt Cassidy sink deeper into her arms, darkness danced at the corners of her eyes and she let go.

When she woke up to the sound of her daughter’s alarm clock, she felt a pit quickly sinking back into her stomach. That was overshadowed quickly though, as Cassidy groaned and rolled over into her mother’s warmth.

“Hi baby,” she cooed, wrapping her arms tighter and letting her nails scratch at the head resting on her chest.

“G’morning,” Cassidy grumbled, “what are you doing here?”

“Dad came home late and had to leave early for work and I didn’t want him to wake me up. Plus I just wanted some cuddles,” she smiled softly.

“S’nice, you’re warm and cozy,” she replied. Jasmine had to hide her little sigh of relief when Cassidy had easily believed the lie.

After a few more minutes of head scratches and temple kisses, both girls went about their normal mornings. Cassidy was chatty as usual in the car, and though Jasmine had perhaps held on for a second too long in their goodbye hug, she was confident that Cassidy couldn’t sense anything was off.

However, once she got home, she was back in the panicked mindset of the night before. For the past few years, she’d meticulously planned these speeches in case she would ever need them, but now that she was here, waiting for Anthony to come back, nothing felt right. All she could do was curl up on the couch, stare at the door, and hope the right words appeared when she opened her mouth.

When Anthony finally trudged through the front door an hour later, he looked dreadful. His eyes were bloodshot, his cheeks blotchy, and his shoulders hunched forward. His hands were fidgeting in his pockets and his eyes were downcast. He could hardly bare to look at her with his tail between his legs.

“You need coffee,” Jasmine said with the faintest little smile. Anthony just nodded as she walked off, before taking a seat on the couch. When Jasmine reemerged a few moments later, she passed him a piping hot mug and sat down next to him. She let out a small sigh, as she was all too familiar with the signs that he hadn’t slept even a wink.

“Thank you,” he mumbled, nodding at the cup of coffee before letting the scalding liquid sear his lips.

“Of course. Cassidy doesn’t know a thing, by the way. Didn’t ask any questions or anything,” she replied, still avoiding his eyes.

“That’s good, thank you Jas.”

She tried to give him another tiny smile, but he couldn’t even react. He was drowning in something awful, and she just wanted to be let in. They sat together in the discomfort for a moment, before Anthony piped up.

“Can I go first?”

“Y-yeah, okay,” Jasmine nodded.

“Jasmine, I am so so sorry,” he said as firmly as his weakened heart would allow. “I’m obviously sorry for drinking, but I’m sorry for lying to you, and for not calling you most of all. I know how hard it’s been for you to trust me again, and I just betrayed all of that. Thinking about how I hurt you, and risked hurting Cass makes me sick and now all I want to do is find a way to make this better. I know the drinking causes this, and I know I need to stop, and I wish I could promise you right here, right now that I’ll never have another drink, but I’m just not that strong, Jas.”

His voice started to waver, and Jasmine tentatively reached forward for his hand. “I’m weak, and because of that the only promise I can make to you is to be honest. And right now I’m being honest and telling you that the anxiety I’ve felt and the craving I’ve felt over the past couple weeks isn’t something I can deal with alone. So there’s an AA meeting in a couple hours... at 1 o’clock. Ten minute drive from here. I’m gonna go, and I’m gonna go to a lot of these. And I have an intake meeting with a therapist on Friday at 8 o’clock. I tried to get it sooner, but that was the earliest appointment. Jasmine, I feel like such an asshole for asking you for anything more, because you’ve done so much, but if I could ask you for one more thing. C-could you come with me to the meeting today?”

When Anthony took a breath after his speech, he looked up through damp eyelashes and found Jasmine with tear tracks all the way down her cheeks. She was holding his hand with both of hers, drawing little circles on the back of his hand despite the trembling of the rest of her body. He opened his mouth to apologize for making her upset yet again, wishing he could punch himself in the throat for causing even more pain, but all that came out was a strangled sob.

“Stop,” she interrupted, “my turn. C’mere.”

Anthony looked her up and down before feeling weakness seep through his every fiber. He collapsed forward with his head in her chest as loud cries shook his frame. She wrapped both arms around him awkwardly, gently petting his hair while trying to soothe him with hushed coos. She pressed kiss after kiss to his forehead, letting him expel all the guilt she knew was eating him alive from the inside.

When his shoulders relaxed and he started to sniffle, she pulled him upright, and pressed her fingers under his chin so she could connect with his tired eyes. She carefully thumbed away his tears before pressing her lips to soothe the red blotches left in their wake.

“Baby, I’m so proud of you,” she murmured. His brow furrowed and his lips prepared to protest, but she pressed a finger against his chin to stop him. “What hurts me is the fear. It’s knowing that you could be out somewhere in so much pain, drinking yourself to death, and I’d be left in the dark, unable to help you,” she said, tears starting to spill down her cheeks even faster. “All I’ve ever wanted is to be let in and to know that if you need me, you’ll let me help you. I want to help you, baby.”

“You deserve someone easier, someone stronger,” he whispered.

“I never want to hear you say you’re weak again,” she insisted. “Baby, at your lowest, you just found a meeting, found a therapist, and asked me for help, all in one morning. Yes, you slipped up last night, but what you’ve just done matters so much more. You’ve been so, fucking, strong and I could not be more proud of you. And yes, I will go to a meeting with you today. I’ll go to meetings with you every day, if thats what it takes.”

“What if I fuck up again, Jas? I can’t risk hurting you like that...”

“Ant, the last time you were in this place you clawed yourself out with some crazy mix of adrenaline and force. Of course that wasn’t sustainable, and honestly I blame myself for not realizing that it was finally catching up with you. Now you’re getting real, professional help, and that’s going to be different.”

“Jasmine, I can’t promise you that I’ll never slip up and drink again,” he said softly, cheeks flushing red and words dripping with shame.

“I know,” she said even softer. “I know this is an illness babe, and I can’t pretend that I know how your mind is fighting against your better judgment when you’re craving it. I’m not asking you to promise me you’ll be perfect because I know how hard this is going to be. I’m asking you to promise me that you’ll be honest with me, failures and successes. That you’ll call me when you feel yourself slipping. Whether you hold out or fall before I get there, I’m going to pick you up and put the pieces back together. Okay? That’s my promise to you. No judgment, just unconditional love.”

Anthony gulped back the last of his tears, and took both of Jasmine’s hands. He looked her in the eyes and nodded firmly. “I promise, Jasmine. I love you and our girl more than anything, and I promise you honesty and communication.”

Jasmine let her lips curl up into an easy smile, and squeezed his hands tight. She leaned forward to kiss the corner of his mouth, before resting her forehead on his temple.

“I love you so much, Anthony. Always. And right now I love you enough to tell you that you look horrible.”

He looked at her dumbfounded for a moment, before somehow finding it in him to laugh. “Seriously Jas? Gonna tell me I look horrible when I’m already a mess?”

“Mhmm,” she sneered, “otherwise you won’t listen when I tell you to get some rest.” Jasmine stretched out her legs to rest her feet on the ottoman in front of the couch, and patted her lap. Anthony laid back with his head on her thighs and looked up at her with a wistful smile.

“I love you,” he whispered again.

“I know. And I love you too. Now close your eyes,” she quipped back. Her smile softened as she brushed his curls off his forehead, and let her fingers rest against his scalp. She scratched just softly, while setting her other hand under his jaw so she could brush her thumb over his cheek. She could tell he was fighting his exhaustion, so she started to hum sweet, soft, lullaby tones until his eyes fluttered shut. For now, she was content to lay back and let her mind be filled with hope.

#angst #janthony #janthony fics #my fics

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thehattertheory · 4 years

Text

untitled s/k

I accidently reblogged a prompt list to the wrong blog and @cakeit0n requested 63. I forgot to forget. Given Cake has brought back the DDN/GMDDN and is an awesome human in general, I’m stoked to oblige.

I’m not sure how well this works for the prompt, my brain just sort of blurted it out.

Rating: G

Tags : Modern Era, CanonDiv, Kagome never goes back to the past, youkai politics in the modern era, romance, inu yasha has zero patience for these two idiots, drabble? nah my hand slipped, unbetaed, kind of rushed but im going out of town with no internet so now or never

When he met her again, she was covered in blood, working with a petite youkai to try and keep a wounded creature from pulling the fang in it’s thigh free. That the fang was easily the width of his wrist and buried in the thigh of a dragon meant little. He’d come to investigate the disturbance itself.

Finding her in the thick of it seemed fitting, twenty first century be damned.

When she looked up at him there was the briefest flicker of recognition before her features settled into determined lines. “Either you can go and get that sword of yours or you can help me make sure he doesn’t get that far.”

With only one real way to help, he clipped the dragon’s head, stunning it senseless. “How did this happen?”

“He’s not up to answering questions right now, we need to get him stabilized and moved,” She muttered, wrapping bandages around the fang to keep it from moving, a series of curses escaping as she finished the job. “Sesshoumaru, can you pick him up, we just need to get him into the truck.”

“Miko,” The petite youkai hissed, staring at him, then swinging her gaze back to the woman.

“He’s fine,” The miko dismissed. “We need to get this one out of sight, asap. Sesshoumaru?”

“You would have done this without me,” He reminded her, amused by her lack of decorum.

“But having a man around helps,” She shrugged. “Unless you want the news to get him on camera.”

With little option, he slung the youkai over his shoulder and followed her to the van parked in the next alley, dropping the stunned creature into the back with a modicum of grace and watching as the petite youkai got in the back, the door being slammed shut in his face.

“Don’t mind Souten. She’s paranoid of the elders.”

Him. She was paranoid about him. “Is she a criminal?”

“We both work a clinic.”

A clinic, not The Clinic, the same one they’d been searching for as the conflict between the youkai factions had begun escalating. He knew better than to think they weren’t the same thing.

“You’re being forthcoming.”

“You won’t turn me in,” She shrugged.

“Presumptuous.”

“Then got on with it or let me get him somewhere safe.”

“Do you know what happened?”

“I don’t care.”

He frowned. The crux of it. “You’ll take me there.”

“No.”

“Miko-”

“You can’t go back, Sesshoumaru. You called me by my name,” She reminded him with a pinched frown.

“Five hundred years is enough time for the formalities to reassert themselves.”

She had the gall to roll her eyes at him. “I’m not leading you there. We just moved again.” Just as abruptly, something shifted, she looked back up at him, her exhaustion peeking through the mask she’d been wearing. “Please, just- Just this time. Let us go. Forget you saw us.”

Exhaustion, frustration, even a little fear. But resilience too, the girl he’d known a scattered blueprint for the woman standing in front of him. “I owe you no favors,” He said slowly, seeing her go rigid, steeling herself. “But I owe a debt to the girl that saved my ward, a very long time ago.”

Her shoulders sagged, naked gratitude replacing the fear.

“Thank you,” She breathed, her only acknowledgment before slipping into the van and starting it.

Despite himself, despite the laws he’d helped compose, that he’d sworn to uphold without exception- He watched her go, and did not follow.

########################

Tensions continued to rise, tempers and minor conflicts sparking among youkai in the city, even spreading outside of Tokyo, spreading them all thin. It wasn’t the first time, but it was the first war that chanced being caught on cellphones and city CCTV, the entire world wired to take notice of them.

He didn’t seek out the clinic itself, but he did search for Kagome. It should have been simple to find a miko, especially one with blue eyes, one that healed anyone, regardless of species. What should have been simple had turned to an exercise in futility, the last tangible rumor of her from a residency that she’d completed, not a whiff of magic about her.

Then nothing but fragments of whispers.

So it was surprising to be called to a hearing, only to find himself face to face with her.

“And who is this?” He asked, biting back surprise.

“It turns out the miko Sango has been the one giving haven to the wounded, instead of bringing them to our attention.”

Sango. He remembered that name, remembered the huntress and her younger brother. Memories tied up in Rin’s life, and her death. “Sango, is it? Do you understand why you’re here?”

Fierce, rebellious blue eyes rose to meet his gaze without flinching. “I’m helping them. Most of them don’t have any choice. Their leaders are forcing them to fight-”

“They all have a choice,” Another of the Elders interrupted, as if bored with the proceedings.

“If someone disobeys their clan head they’re cast out. Are you you going to take care of them?” She countered, fury spilling over, voice echoing through the room. “Tell me, who’s going to help them if they’re hit by a car and can’t explain walking away? Or what about the ones that require weekly seals for their unstable blood? Will you see to it they can survive the modern era?”

“Passionate, coming from a miko,” One of his peers sneered.

“If you want to end my interference, do your jobs and end the conflict between the clans.”

It was the nail in the coffin. He could see the decision writ clear across their faces.

“Perhaps it is time she go to one of the holding areas, so we may discuss this matter,” He suggested.

“Bind her, force the truth out of her, clear out the clinics,” One of the others said with ease, as if he wasn’t suggesting the most horrific punishment they’d inflicted on their worst criminals.

“I think it is a matter that should be discussed,” He repeated. “Take her to the eighteenth floor.”

The two youkai that had been hanging back nodded their assent. Kagome didn’t allow them to touch her, following peacefully between them.

“We need access to the youkai she’s protecting,” One of the Elders muttered. “It’s the only way to find the instigators.”

She wouldn’t give up the youkai or her clinic, not that he was going to inform the others of any such thing. The agreement rose around him, where it fell apart was the how of it. Every elder had their own opinion of how to proceed. None of them agreed, and none of them was willing to cede.

They adjourned, nothing solved.

###############################

“Sango?” He asked, walking into the holding area. Little more than a small bedroom with a toilet and sink in it. One of only a small handful, all of them spelled to hold even the most dangerous of youkai and miko.

“I didn’t want them finding my family.”

“You’ve been doing this longer than the current conflict.”

“There’s always been a need for a clinic,” She shrugged, watching him warily. Whatever ease she’d had in his presence before was gone.

“You sacrificed yourself so your patient could escape,” He accused. “You would not be here otherwise.”

She remained silent.

“Foolish.”

“You would have done the same, once.”

“You speak as if I’ve changed so much.”

“Haven’t you?”

“You haven’t given me much chance to prove otherwise.”

A flicker of shame. “I’m sorry. It’s-” She stopped, shook her head. “It’s hard to know who to trust now.”

“I don’t need your patients,” He finally admitted. “Only the clans they belong to.” She opened her mouth in protest and he raised a hand to silence her. “We have no solid proof, not yet. We need something. Names of clans, at least. We only have suspicions, for now. We have to have more than that to do our jobs,” He reminded her. “Even we have due process.”

Her mouth twisted in distaste. “You want me to spy.”

“More or less.”

“And my freedom hinges on betraying trust?”

“No. I’m going to see you escape here regardless,” He said, unable to stop the smirk tugging at his own lips. Utterly dumbfounded. It was nice to see her that way, when she’d been so in control before. “The spells and seals have been nullified. You can walk out.”

“What about you?”

He was older, stronger, and more wily than most of them. “They’ll never know I was here.”

She got to her feet, walking past him slowly. “I won’t betray my patients,” She challenged, already opening the door.

“I understand.”

She slipped out. He had no doubt she wound find her way out of the building. The engineered chaos on the twenty third floor, a loosed youkai with both a temper and a penchant for fire had the guards undivided attentions.

###############################

Hands inspected his chest, poking gently at the area that throbbed with pain. He hissed, the pain radiating out, then disappearing completely. “This isn’t how I expected you to gather information,” A quiet voice murmured. “If I’d known you would go to these extremes, I would have just asked someone to come forward.”

A dark room greeted him, Kagome hovering over him, examining him in an impersonal way.

“You wouldn’t have anyway.”

“I did,” She corrected, continuing her ministrations. “Why did Mouti attack you?”

“How did you know it was Mouti?” He grumbled.

“Pheasant’s eye roots works a lot like morphine for youkai,” She huffed, giving him a slight smile. “You may have let a few things slip.”

“I hope nothing embarrassing,” He groaned, pushing himself up.

“Only how much you admire my blue eyes,” She teased.

“They are lovely, but I doubt they were the first thing on my mind.”

“Which brings up back to Mouti.”

“It is my concern,” he dismissed. As ever, she ignored the implicit command.

“It might be mine.”

“Oh, do tell?”

“I purified him,” She declared quietly, pulling her gloves off and snapping them into the trashcan by the bed. “I felt Bakusaiga. I haven’t felt it in years, like lightening. I couldn’t, it wouldn’t let me ignore it. And then I found you both, and somehow he’d wounded you-” She shook her head, looking down at her hands. “I haven’t killed a youkai since I got back.”

It struck him then, that she was a doctor, and no matter what she’d done as a youth, a doctor’s first priority was to heal. Not to kill. She was carrying that weight for him, because of him.

“Mouti is an architect of the current conflict,” He finally admitted. “You killed the man that has kept your clinic so busy.”

It didn’t help.

“I don’t believe he’s the only one. Nor that the clans will stop, even if we were to put an end to the scheming. They’ve been given too many ideas, now they believe it’s possible to take over.”

Kagome dropped onto the bed, clearly exhausted. “I thought that might be it.”

“Kagome-”

“I’ll get names of clan heads for you,” She whispered, eyes clenched shut. “Just end this, Sesshoumaru. We don’t have the means to make this work for much longer.”

The clinic, with it’s myriad needs, to say nothing of the frequent moves. “Let me help.”

“You can’t endanger your place on the council right now-”

“Let me worry about my place on the council. I’ve held it for longer than you’ve been alive,” He reminded her dryly, earning a startled, broken laugh. A hand clapped over her mouth and bright, tear filled eyes lit on him. He could see the shock, the mortification and amusement in them, and offered a dry smile of his own in return. “I sound like your grandfather.”

“You do sound like my grandfather,” She huffed, hand dropping to her lap. It was a sad thing, her laugh, a puff of air and little more.

“Do you see them?”

“Not since this started escalating. I don’t want to chance it.”

He paused, because some things needed saying. “Inu Yasha-”

“He found me, when I was still in medical school. I know.”

Older than them both, aged and with children. Older, maybe even wiser than them both.

“Don’t tell him about this. You know how he is.”

It was genuinely amusing she thought his brother hadn’t been keeping tabs on her since she’d been born. The utter lack of information on her had probably been his brother’s doing to begin with. “You have my word I won’t bring him into this.”

“Thank you,” She breathed.

###############################

The child stared at him with eyes too bright, too vivid to be human. Even contacts couldn’t accomplish the array of colors that whorled as she stared up at him.

“Can I help you?”

“This is from the bird woman,” The hanyou announced, handing over an envelope.

He accepted it, and the child bolted. He attempted to follow, stunned to see- Nothing. Absolutely nothing at all. As if the child had never existed.

Bird woman. Shaking his head, he opened the envelope, stunned to see two names written in a feminine hand, with a single line beneath it.

I don’t want to see you in my clinic again.

Shaking his head, he looked over the two names again, then promptly destroyed the letter.

###############################

The strange hanyou came to his apartment five more times, each time with a message from the Bird Woman. Every message with at least one name, sometimes more. Names of clan heads and nothing more. No more personal messages, nothing to hint at who had written them, or what the names meant. But they were all her handwriting, a tidy feminine script that he recognized immediately as hers.

And just as immediately, he destroyed them all, quietly repeating the names, forming plans of how to expose and judge them.

###############################

There were two cities, in Tokyo. The city humanity walked, with it’s myriad bright lights and bustling corridors, full of a thousand dreams and nightmares, pulling people into the consumerists cycle of styles and creations, art and politics.

The Tokyo behind it, below it, was one that had been cultivated centuries before, thriving. Until now. Now it’s tensions were breaking, leaking into the humans Tokyo, threatening to spill into the sunlight. Threatening to expose all of them.

It was the exact reason his brother had shown up. Not that it was helping his temper as he scoured maps, looking again and again for some sort of reason.

“There have been bodies showing up,” Inu Yasha observed.

“I know.”

“She wouldn’t let that happen.”

“I know,” He ground out. The child with the messages had stopped coming as well.

“Have you found the clinic?”

He’d had no need to find it, had known where it was the moment she’d moved, kept tabs on it because it meant keeping tabs on her. “She hasn’t been there. Shippou and Souten haven’t seen her.”

“Why would they take her? She’d get a hearing, at least,” Inu Yasha muttered.

Something suspiciously akin to guilt needled at him. “She did. I got her out.”

“She’d still have a formal arrest, you’d know-”

“She’s been feeding me names of clans, so I can try and figure out who all is involved.”

“You let her- Sesshoumaru, what the hell were you thinking?” His brother snarled. “She’s a doctor-”

“I know,” He snapped, unable to contain his frustration. “I know she’s a doctor and it goes against her ethics. I know!”

His brother stopped, pale gaze widening. “Holy- You care about her.”

“What are you on about?” He snapped.

“You wouldn’t do this for any spy. You care about her.”

“Stop projecting your moronic fantasies onto me, Inu Yasha.”

“Don’t lie to me. Just- Tell me the truth,” Inu Yasha demanded, voice quieter than it had ever been. “I just want to know the truth.”

“It’s my fault,” He admitted. He’d asked for the information, he’d used it. It had only been a matter of time before someone had been able to connect all the dots. He should have been more careful, and because he hadn’t, she’d been taken.

A hand rested on his shoulder, squeezing once. “We’ll get her back.”

###############################

Finding her was more simple than anticipated, knowing her energy, knowing her. It had only taken scouring the city, district by district. It was easier on foot, easier and faster for them than it would have been for humans.

Finding her was also stunning, the derelict building lacking any real protections.

“You will not have my bride!” The spirit shrieked at them, it’s shrill voice piercing, making his ears ache as it rang through him.

Bride.

Kagome sat at the table, dull blue eyes focused on nothing. She was still wearing jogging pants and a shirt with a bright pink stain on it, as if she’d been taken while out on a morning run. Taken and drugged to be the thing’s bride.

Tenseiga was quick. Quicker than the spirit deserved.

###############################

“As bad as the past,” Inu Yasha huffed, shaking his head. “Fucking figures it was someone trying to marry her.”

He glared at his half-brother.

“You should ask her about it sometime.”

“Why are you still here?”

Inu Yasha’s expression grew smug, a sly smile stretching his features. “I want to see what you do when she wakes up,” He gloated.

“Ensure she arrives home safely.”

“You moron,” Inu Yasha groaned. “You’re both in the middle of a war. She almost had something completely unrelated kill her. Are you really going to sit on your thumbs?”

“I truly abhor this conversation.”

“She’s worth it, you know,” Inu Yasha said, abruptly changing tactics, growing serious. “She really is.”

“Just because you loved her doesn’t mean everyone will.”

“But you do, don’t you?” His half brother challenged.

It was irrelevant. She didn’t want him at her clinics, in her life. She’d made it clear.

###############################

He was there when she began stirring, bruised, blue eyes squinting open first, then slowly widening, a groan escaping. There was nothing particularly beautiful or delicate about it, as if she was being dragged back to consciousness completely against her will. Leaning back in his chair, he watched her shift, blink resentfully at the window, then look over at him.

“I’m not married, am I?”

“No.”

“Good,” She breathed, closing her eyes again and snuggling down into his pillows. “Thanks.”

“The girl calls you the bird woman.”

A light smile, the shadows of resentment vanishing. “I helped Suki last year, another miko had tried to bind her youkai blood completely. She’s been my eyes since then. I don’t know why she calls me that. She just always has.” Her eyes opened, and she looked far ore at home in his bed than he really knew what to do with.

“Inu Yasha is here,” He advised, unsure of what else to say as she stared up at him, waiting for something. Whatever she’d expected, it hadn’t been that, her expression falling. “He saw the signs, and came of his own accord.”

“Oh.”

“He’s been worried about you.”

He watched her push herself up, left her alone in his room, in his bed. Inu Yasha was glaring at him, pointing at the door even as he exited. He ignored it, going back to the kitchen. An exasperated sigh erupted behind him, the hanyou disappearing into his room. He heard the joy in her voice, how it changed when his brother appeared.

Unashamed, he listened in.

“He’s an idiot, forgive him.”

“It doesn’t matter-”

“It’s stupid. You’re both in love-”

“Inu Yasha, you need to stay out of it.”

“I’ve had to listen to you-”

“Yasha-” She hissed.

“And he’s been insane trying to find you and then pretending-”

“He can hear you,” Kagome muttered, voice pitching.

“Then let him hear it. That’s constipated jackass for I love you, I should know-”

His entire body burned, unsure of how to stop his brother’s meddling without doing something that would prove the bastard right. “I think you’ve upset her enough,” He ground out, humiliated by his brother’s display. The door to his room opened, Inu Yasha stomping back out, Kagome behind him.

“I should never have removed the subjugation beads,” She muttered.

“Get off your high horses already,” Inu Yasha huffed, rolling his eyes. “I’m going for some food. Have this solved by the time I get back.” Without further aplomb his brother left the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

“I lied. He sounds like my grandfather,” Kagome muttered, cradling her face in her palms. “Another suitor.”

He felt mortified despite himself.

“Not you, not- That you are a suitor,” She amended quickly. “The spirit.”

“Inu Yasha mentioned it was something of a pattern.”

She rolled her eyes. “When I was fifteen. I was pretty sure I’d entered untouchable spinster territory.”

“Not at all,” He demurred. “You’re more than you’ve ever been.”

She flushed, pink burning up her neck and cheeks. “Thank you. You-” She paused. “Sometimes I don’t know what to do with you.”

“I thought you made it clear.”

She frowned. “What?”

“You told me not to come back to the clinic.”

She was the one to close the space between them, her hands taking his, bringing them to her heart. He could feel it beneath his palms, thrumming in a steady, reassuring tattoo. “I didn’t want you to come back as my patient."

He felt foolish, having it spelled out for him.

As if she understood, she brought his hands up to her lips cautiously, as if unsure of her welcome. Slowly, she began kissing his fingertips, lips barely brushing over them in myriad kisses. Featherlight, as if she couldn’t stop exploring his hands, she kept kissing the callused flesh. The hands that had killed hundreds, thousands of youkai and humans, some dozen within the last week. Watching, stunned, he didn’t know what to do until she pressed a kiss to his palm, her breath shuddering out of her.

She meet his gaze evenly, vulnerability and resolve.

#s/k #that one from way back #god please forgive any glaring errors ill def clean it up by the time i get back #rushed bc i gotta get to the mt where there is 0% internet access like now #THANK YOU CAKE FOR MAKING IT SO EASY TO COME BACK

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introvertllux · 4 years

Text

Copia’s World: Chapter 1

Story Description: Lena is gifted with extraordinary powers, that much is true but what happens when she discovers that her powers are more of a curse than a blessing. Will Lena be able to fight the dark path she seems fated for or will she be able to confront her ever-growing powers in order to forge her own path? Secrets and lies discovered as Lena navigate through family, love, and self-discovery.

Genre: Romance, Drama, Comedy, Drama

Warnings: 18+, depictions of bullying, Christianity discrimination, mental health, mental disorders, racism, suicide, discrimination. (Please do not read, if you may be triggered).

*Any depictions referred to in the warnings are based on MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCES. Please do not think I’m making fun or or mocking anyone, again these experiences are based on what I have seen and, or been through myself. Also, I am not intending to romanticize mental health or disorders in anyway. Lastly, If you do decided to read this story I am very thankful and I hope you enjoy it. : )

Notes to add:

I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS

THE ORIGINAL STORY IDEA IS MY OWN

THE CREATION OF THE CHARACTER PROFILES ARE MY OWN DOING (I DO NOT OWN THE PHOTOGRAPHS ARE ART WORKS OF EACH CHARACTER. HOWEVER, I DID EDIT THE PICTURES OF MY OC (BRI HALL) TO MATCH MY OC DESCRIPTION.

THIS STORY WILL TAKE SOME EVENTS FROM THE COMICS, ANIMATED SERIES, AND THE LIVE ACTION MOVIES.

IN THIS STORY ALEX IS YOUNGER THAN SCOTT AND THE AGES VARY BASED ON THE ACTOR THAT PLAYS THE CHARACTER AND FOR THE SAKE OF THE PLOT

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Third Person’s P.O.V.

Friday, July 27, 2019

Lena inhaled the crisp cool summer air as she gazed outside of the large crystal-clear window of the deep corridor. A breathtaking blend of coral and peach sunlight filled the sky as birds soared high and low while chirping a captivating melody. She exhaled, as she gently opened her yellow-amber eyes and watched the pattern the birds flew in. Lena, then gripped the frame of widow seal, careful not to crush it underneath her superhuman strength. Oh, how badly did she want to leap out of the wind and fly, to soar, and join the feathered-winged creatures.

(You look like you want to join them) she heard a voice say inside of her head.

(More than anything…) I responded back.

(I think that freedom is what you seek more than anything, Lena) the voice said.

Lena looked at the person next to her from the lower corner of her left eye.

(Grandpa, freedom is the one thing I desire the most out of this world. It’s funny you know… how easy it seems to be able to have. To get too. It’s literally right outside my door. But for me, it seems unreachable. It’s bittersweet to know that my only desire is so close yet so far. But as a mutant as… me, I know that I would rather give up my dreams to protect my family and those who can’t protect themselves.)

she said as she turned her full body towards the founder of the Xavier Institute.

(As usual, that’s very brave, kind, and noble of you Lena. But as I told you many times in the past you can be all those things and more without giving up on the things you want. Balance is key to anything you do in life, Lena. Once, you've mastered that you’ll be impossible to stop) Professor Xavier said.

Lena let out a sigh, (Grandpa you and I both know the circumstances that prevent me from being free. I-I just want to be like them) I communicated to him as I pointed my arm out of the window at the birds in front of me. (How long do I have to be a caged bird? How long until I can use my powers to help instead of hurting. How long until my powers stop feeling like a curse. How long until nobody fears me and they except me! How long until I can be free!?)

She yelled telepathically causing the man next her to groan in pain as he gripped the sides of his head.

Lena’s P.O.V

“Uh! Grandpa, I’m so, so, sorry!” I yelled as I kneeled next to his wheelchair. I tried to gently console him, trying to be extra careful of my strength and the volume of my voice.

“It’s alright, Lena.” He said softly.

I looked at him with glistening eyes, “I’m sorry. I’m so stupid.” I said quieter.

“Far from it my dear, very far. You just have trouble controlling your powers is all. We’ve all been there. I have your mother, your father, and the rest of the students that live here. Your case is just a special one… and like the rest we will find a way for you to control them.” He said optimistically.

I stared at him for a split second as I read his facial expression. Although he always made sure to remain level-headed and positive at all times, I know that deep inside he’s afraid. He’s terrified. He more than anyone that we know, knows how much of a ticking time bomb I am. He knows that I’m capable of the world ending power, yet he masks it all in hopes that “we” find a solution in an unpredictable time.

“Now, Lena if my time is correct and I’m sure that it is you have about 5 minutes before Colossus will be looking to join the others in the Danger Room. You know how organized he is.” He said smiling softly.

I mentally rolled my eyes as he mentioned Colossus.

“Have fun, and make sure you pay specific attention until how each student is managing their powers. I think it might help you find your source of control.” He said.

“Will do, grandpa. Have a nice rest of your day.” I said as I ran down the long hallway and down to my room.

As I entered my room, I quickly opened my side table drawer and pulled out black gloves that covered every inch of my hands. I quickly pulled them on my hair, careful not to tear them. I looked down at the gloves as I started to feel anxiety.

Looking at these gloves was a constant reminder of how defective I was. Usually, when I felt my powers start to lose control in the slightest way, I would put these gloves on. Today… when I broke the telepathic link with my grandfather was a sign of lack of control, although not a big one it was still something.

One of my first abilities I was able to master at a young age was telepathy but seeing as of late I’m losing my grip over it I think the gloves will stabilize me. God forbid I go to training and I bump into someone and I absorb their abilities or hurt them in any other way.

With about two minutes left before training, I left my room (which wasn’t too far from the danger room only about 10 feet). I walked with a neutral expression on my face as I entered the control room. I took “my” seat next to a standing Colossus whose body shined in pride at his team below.

“Nice of you to join us today, Lena.” He said without looking at me. I nodded my head back at his as I looked down at the white dull sneakers on my feet that seemed to pique my interest at the moment.

“I didn’t see you for breakfast, AGAIN. How can you expect to be a good hero if you aren’t eating a well-balanced meal?” He said in a lecturing tone.

No, how can I expect to be a good one, if I’m not allowed to use my powers?

I heard the sound of his body turning towards me, I hastily moved my hands behind my back so he wouldn’t see that I had my gloves on.

He cleared his throat and said, “I want you to watch closely. Today the team will be working on teamwork protocols. As a member of this team, I need you to see and understand how each team member's abilities work as well as how they complement one another.” He said as he turned back, getting ready to speak into the intercoms.

This is why I hated “training”. First and foremost, I’m not really a part of the team. I’m what you call the “final choice”. I’m the SWAT team to the police force. The Hulk to the Avengers. I’m the big guns. If our chances of winning are extremely low, they are banking on me to bring the bacon home. From an outsider’s perspective, it sounds like an honor… but in reality, it’s quite the opposite. I’m the caged animal that they only let free on the special circumstance. They don’t want to see me, talk to me, or USE me until they need me.

As for their powers, I know them left to right. I know every single one of my teammate’s power sources, origins, and weaknesses. How could I not? I live my life watching them all have fun with their powers and showing them off while I stay dormant, in complete comatose. Get this… isn’t it hilarious, how my parents always told me that mutants were special, that I was special but one mistake… and now I’m too special to use my gifts?

Don’t get me wrong at all. I love every and any kind of mutant good or evil no matter what their gifts are, they are all special and unique to me. But that all goes out the window when: 1.) I don’t use my powers so I’m basically a regular person and 2.) When I have the ability to absorb, replicate, and keep any power I’m exposed to. Having that ability, that curse, makes everyone around you feel ordinary and that’s something I hate about myself. I never want anyone to feel less than. I rather it is me so that they never know how it really feels.

Okay, team, I’m commencing the portal now. Get ready.” I heard Colossus say. A few seconds later I saw the lights deem as the computer speak:

Commencing Protocol 24389: Team Civilian Rescue

I sat up in my chair slightly making sure to keep my hands in a place where I knew Colossus wouldn’t be able to see. Within a few seconds, I analyzed the protocol. It seemed as though each section and customized by each person’s powers. Each person had their weakness placed in each section but would require help from a member to move through. Their ultimate end goal was to rescue an elder-women and her cat (Ha, how cute Colossus).

I continued to watch for a few moments, already seeing that they were not working as a team. I glanced up at Colossus from the side of my eye and noticed his stone-cold expression.

Which I knew was translated to mean anger, disappointment, and shame. It seems like the only person that was trying his best was Alex, better known as Havok. He tried to guide the team and even give some advice but he was stopped but Mr. Hothead himself Pyro, or John who’s ego was so big he wouldn’t take direction from anyone because he was the leader and what he said went even if he was wrong.

Then there was Jubilation Lee or Jubilee who was a poor long-term focuser so when it came to making plans and strategies, she wasn’t all the way there. And last but certainly not least the Lovesick King, Sam aka Cannonball, he was so in love with Jubilee all he heard, saw, and thought about was her. If it didn’t involve her, he wanted no parts and that’s exactly what was happening.

A few more minutes went by and I heard the screams of agony ring throughout the control panel. I flinch and quickly stood up hoping that nobody was hurt. The lights slowly turned on as I realized that the scream I heard was from the elderly women hologram. I let out a small sigh… glad that everyone was okay (well almost everyone).

Protocol 24389: Team Civilian Rescue. Failed.

I heard the computer say as the light was on completely. I heard Colossus' large steps start to exit the control room. I knew better than to try to leave and retreat back to my room. I hated conflict and I knew this would be another confrontation and I knew deep down inside It would be my fault because that’s just my role on this team.

“This! This is teamwork!?” Colossus yelled as he waved his hands in front of the other students.“Well, If John helped out more- “Sam started to say before he was cut off by everyone auguring back and forth all at once.

“Enough!” Colossus yelled once more.

“This is not what good teams do! Arguing and fight one another. That’s for the villain, not the heroes.” He said

.He let out a sigh, “You, “He said as he pointed at John, “You are the leader. You are supposed to lead them with humility and a good plan. You did neither of those. If you do that on the real battlefield do you expect to lead your team to victory or their deaths.”

He said sternly. “Jubilee, you need to focus on the battlefield you can get yourself and others hurt or worse. Samuel, you need to focus on your team and the civilians, keep your head on the battlefield, not on your heart.” He said as he exchanged looks between the both of them.

Colossus looked up and down at Alex swiftly, “Alex, great work for what little you had to work with. Keep it up. It’s clear that you all need more training so… I will see you bright and early at 6:00 AM tomorrow.” He said as he began to turn around and walk off.“But… tomorrow is Saturday!” I heard Jubilee yell. Colossus just waved as he exited the room. I turned, trying to leave the room unnoticed.

“Where do you think you’re going.” I heard John say. I stopped for a moment, deciding not to let him get to me today.

I heard him snort, “Got the gloves on, huh? Bad day?” He said with a chuckle.

I quickly grabbed my hands and folded them up to my chest tightly as I kept walking.

“You know it’s your fault we failed that protocol.” He said with venom in his voice. I stopped in my tracks, my back still facing him.

“You just sit up there in the control room acting all high and mighty while we do all the work. What’s the point of doing all the work, when you can do it? You have the ability to have any and every power known to man yet- because you’re so defective we have to do the work. It’s pretty pathetic, to be honest.” He let out a sarcastic sigh, “I guess… I’ll always have that over you, huh? being flawless, being more than enough.” He said in a taunting manner.

“John, back off.” I heard Alex say.

“Shh… your leader is talking. And as the leader, I say my “team member” needs some constructive criticism.” He said wickedly.

“You know… now that I think about it I kind of own you. Everything I say goes. I mean look your powers are banned. You don’t train with us, you can’t leave this house, and… a big part of that is thanks to me. One of my greatest accomplishments to date I think.” He said as he started to laugh widely.

I began to shake in my spot, tears threatening to spill. I didn’t want to look up at John. All I wanted to do was run and retreat back to my room, the place I knew I would always be the safest. But instead, I decided that I had to look up, into the eyes of the man that made my life living hell every day for years. Not one part of me wanted to think he was evil or malicious when he tormented me on a daily. I wanted to see the good in him, as a fellow mutant, as a teammate, as a person. But all I could see what a selfish and wicked cold-hearted man.

I speed to my room devastated and broken. This was nothing new under the sun. Every day, John would take his shots at me tearing me down in front of our peers and they would just let it happen. John hated him with all his heart and soul and the rest didn’t understand me. They didn’t bother too. That just knows about the accident that leads to my powers awakening and from then on, they’ve avoided me like the plague. It just me to see that even in my own home that I will never kind anyone who truly gets me or a place where I belong.

I laid on my bed fast down as I cried myself to sleep. What felt like a minute later, was actually hours as I heard tapping on my window. I walked to my window and opened it wide as something swiftly flew in. I looked at the figured and smiled.

“Cuzzo! It’s been a while!” I heard my cousin Peter yell.

I quickly jumped on him as we landed on the bed with my hand covering his mouth. “Shh,” I whispered.

Of course, I was very happy to see my cousin Peter. It’s been too long but like a true prisoner, I am not allowed to have any visitors and the same goes for Peter even though he’s family.

Peter’s eyes roamed down to my gloved hand and he mumbled something against. I moved my hands down and looked down at my lap, knowing how concerned he would be to see my gloves on. I didn’t want to ruin our reunion, but I felt as though I already did.

He grabbed both of my gloved hands and squeezed tightly, “Lena…” He expresses in a worried voice.

“Peter, I’m fine. I promise. Let’s talk about something else. Let’s talk about you I haven’t seen you in so long, aren’t you taking Online Summer courses at MIT?” I asked genuinely interested.

Peter’s looked lingered for a few seconds before he gave in, “Yeah I am actually. They’re killer. Dad wanted me to try and stay on campus and do the whole college thing a try, but I wanted to be able to patrol at home and- “He said before I interrupted “And your crush” I said in a teasing voice.

“Lin.” He said in a whining voice as he pursed his lips and I continued to laugh a bit.

“Well, I think uncle Tony just wants you to give you a fair shot at the whole being a “normal” kid type of thing. But you’re too far gone, Spider-Man. We’ve lost you to the dark side.” I said as I continued to joke.

“Tell me about it, right now I’m on the dark side of college homework.” He said as he began to pull out his homework from his bag.

“I also brought some ice cream. They’re rock solid, so by the time I get done with this they should be defrosted.” He said.

We talked back and forth as Peter did his homework. I helped quite a bit with the equations he was having problems solving.

“Lena, I always knew you were smart… but you’re better at solving these problems than I am. Maybe you should be at MIT, instead.” He laughed.

“No, way Peter. You’re a genius. I just like a challenge that all. Plus, engineering isn’t my passion.” I said with a shrug.

“To be honest you’ve never really talked about your passions before.” He said sounding intrigued.

“Um, my first one would be getting out of here. I might get spontaneous and travel to every state.” I said laughing while being serious.

“You know… being here all my life and not being allowed to leave unless supervised never gave me the chance to really find myself. I went to school here and never had the chance to go to college. The one constant thing that I find myself doing that I like is helping. I also like kids too, even if I’m not around them often. But when I was around Franklin and Valeria I was in awe. I wanted nothing but to see them happy you know. I don’t know maybe… maybe I’ll become a teacher.” I said quietly.

“Well, I think you’re an amazing teacher. You’re creative, smart, kind, and you always put other's needs before your own.” Peter said as he smiled softly at me as he placed his hand on my shoulder.

I flinched back, as he stared at me with his arms in surrender at me. “ah… um, I’m sorry.” I said frantically. “I just… my powers and the gloves um...” I said starting to panic.

“No, no. I’m sorry Lin I should’ve known better.” He said. “Um, ice cream?” He said after a few moments of silence.

I nodded my head as he handed me, a mocha chip flavored ice cream. I smiled and thanked him. He always remembered by favorite. As we ate my ice cream, he talked to me about his dad and what the rest of the Avengers were up too.

“Wait so Thor is fat now?” I repeated. “Yeah, but he’s got more a dad bod thing going in verses the devastated drunk bod. He’s getting there. Aunt Nat and Uncle Clint are taking care of the psychical and dad are doing his version of emotional support and the rest of us are doing real actual support.” He said as eat another spoonful of ice cream.

I smiled, “I miss them. I wish I was there to see their faces.” I said feeling low again. “I know they all miss you, I missed you. I promise even though I have these dumb classes I’m coming to visit you more often even if Uncle Logan tries to kill me and hang me over the fireplace.” He said in a joking yet serious manner.

“When I told dad, I was going to sneak into your house, he said, “Why go all Bond on them, we can walk right up and make it a party.” He said laughing.

I shook my head, “I think at that point it’s more about our dad’s deep intense hatred for one another.” I said.

“They have a lot in common that’s why. They both think they know everything or can do anything better than another person.” Peter said.

“Ugh, tell me about it. Back to the party thing, it’s almost your birthday in two weeks what are you going to do. I know Uncle Tony will want to throw you a big bash.” I said.

“Yeah, now you tell me about it. I told dad something quite with the family but of course, it went in one ear and out the other. At this point, I don’t care what he wants to do. If you can’t come then, I don’t want anything.” He said.

“Aww. Peter, no don’t throw away your party for me. It’s not worth it.” I said. “What? Lena, are you hearing yourself? You’re my cousin. I’m not going to have a party that’s supposed to have family and friends there and you not be there. I don’t care if I have to invite every single member of this household in order for you to be able to come, I will do it.” He said.

I was a bit stun that he said he would invite everyone just for me. I know Peter wasn’t super close to the rest of the team members closer to our ages but Peter was the extroverted one out of the both of us so if it came down to it he would have no problem socializing with them, even if it were for a minute.

A few more minutes pass and Peter and I exchange goodbyes as he exited out of the window. About 10 minutes later another knock could be heard from the window.

What’s with my window tonight.

I raised the window and looked outside of it. “Hey, Angel.” I heard my Uncle Angel say to me with a wave. I waved back. He drew in closer to the window. “Hard day?” He asked as he nodded towards my gloves. I shrugged but didn’t say a word.

“How about some Angel Time.” He said as he referred to the nickname, I called our flying time together when I was a child. I knew the repercussions that would follow if we left the house without telling anyone, we both did, but I need this. For me flying was like a rocking a baby back to sleep, it was soothing to me, it was liberating.

I took a step back from my window and leaped out. Smiling widely as I levitated in the air. I began to fly up higher with my arms stretched wide. This is the feeling I’ve been missing for so long. I continued to smile as I fly all around my uncle. We flew together for a while until he landed on a cliff and patted his hand down on the grass near him. I flew down and landed gently.

“You know, when you’re up there flying around, you look just like your mother.” I smiled softly at his observation.

“Before you were born your mother and I used to fly all the time. It’s one of the only times I’ve really seen your mother look so happy, that or when you or your dad are around.” He said.

“Is that why you fly. Because it’s your freedom too.” I asked. He looked over and smiled at me. “You know before I discovered my wings I was from a very wealthy family. From the outside, everyone thought I was so happy and perfect because of it but I was so miserable. When I discovered my wings, I got on my knees and praised God because nothing could stop me from escaping the hell in which I lived. I had the power to leave and discover my own path and that’s what lead me to the school. Flying doesn’t solve all my problems, no. But it helps me to get on the right track.” He said with passion.

I hummed in satisfaction at his answer. It was so detailed and liberating. I related to it in many ways. Uncle Angel and I continued to laugh and talk about things from my childhood and things of his past, until sunrise. As the sun rose so did my anxiety and panic because I knew when I got home, I was in trouble. I knew I probably missed training so that was a dead give away that I wasn’t home like I was supposed to be.

We flew back home, with Uncle Angel telling me he would help explain the situation to my parents. However, that didn’t make me feel better considering the fact that there was no reasoning with parents as overprotective as my own.

We landed swiftly and opened the door to the mansion and made our way to the kitchen, figuring they would be there having their morning coffee and tea.

“Lena Oni Howlett! Where have you been? You just don’t leave the house without telling us or someone going with you!” I heard my mother yell.

“I know. “I mumbled quietly that only my father could probably hear with his advanced hearing.

“Wait Ororo, please don’t yell at her it was my fault,” Angel said as he stood in front of me.

“She was having a bad day and-and I know flying helps to calm her down, so I took her.” He said trying to explain the situation.

“Do you have any idea what could’ve to happen with her flying up there. “I heard my father say with a growl.

“Nothing, I was with her-“ Angel tried to finish before he was interrupted “Then you’re dumber than I thought birdbrain. Her powers are unpredictable right now. We don’t know what triggers then and what doesn’t. You could’ve gotten yourselves both killed.” He said with anger in his voice.

I flinched when he called my powers unpredictable and when he said I was capable of killing both of us. It was true and I didn’t want it to happen. I never want to hurt anyone ever again but the way my own father was describing me it was like I was some kind of monster.

“Logan…” My mother warned.

“Can you believe this bullshit!” He yelled as he slammed his hand onto the marble countertop causing a crack to form.

“Watch your language!” My mother yelled at him.

“As soon as we do a better job at keeping track of our own, damn daughter. Oh, or do you not remember the stakes that are at hand!” He roared.

“Of course, I do! That’s why we’re taking the percussions we are now!” He yelled back. At this point, they were arguing with one another about me in front of me completely ignoring how I feel at this point. I felt awful knowing that my parents were arguing because of me. They rarely argued. Mostly playful banter. But I was the cause of this me. I hate conflict but I had to make it right.

“Stop!” I screamed at the top as my lungs as my eyes glow dark pink and my hair floated up in the air slightly. “Have you ever thought for a second how this all makes me feel? I’m the one with uncontrolled powers. I’m the one that ends up hurting people. I’m the common denominator! Keeping locked up like-like some monster won’t solve any of it.” I said looking at them with my eyes still glowing.

“This-” I said as pink aura started admitting from my body, “You say it’s special, but I have to hide it. You treat how society treats mutants. I don’t know whose side you guys are on or if you see me as some dangerous mutant…. or as your daughter.” I said in a shaky breath.

“I’m warning you both now. That if you don’t give me some space… or just an inch of freedom I will explode and nothing- and I mean nothing in this world will be able to contain it not even me.” I said sadly as I turned my back on them and left the kitchen quietly.

I went to my bedroom and looked into the mirror on the way to the far right and stared at it. My eyes were still glowing, and my pink aura was still surrounding my body. I sat down gently and started to close my eyes and take deep breaths until I felt my power level constrain back into my body. I take a few more moments before I hop into bed.

I take off my gloves and lay them on the side of my bed. I stare at my hands. The hands of murder. The hands of filled with extraordinary power. The hands of a murderer.

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Link to:

Masterpost

Chapter 2

I wanted to thank everyone who has liked or reblogged anything that has to do with this story. I want to give a HUGE SHOUTOUT to the following people for showing me some support (I apologize if i’m missing any names)!!

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ohwereusingourmadeupnames · 4 years

Text

Our Road is Long

Pairing: Peter Parker/Tony Stark Rating: Mature (M) Warnings: closeted!Tony, self-doubt, internal homophobia Word Count: ~13k Notes: thanks to @mrsluttystark - the harry style’s prompt caught my eye and I just kind of went with it. i changed a few things here and there, but here’s hoping it’s what you were kind of picturing! Summary:

Pepper and Tony are divorced, but not before they have a gorgeous baby girl named Morgan. She is the center of Tony's world - even when it's melting down little by little. Having been in the closet most of his life, Tony is struggling to come to terms with the wants and needs that keep making themselves known - especially after he meets a particularly handsome kindergarten teacher, Peter Parker.

He's bad about picking Morgan up from school, but he's forced to when Pepper and her new husband go out of town. What ensues is the hilarity and vulnerability that comes with coming to terms with who you really are - Tony Stark style!

There's a lot of Tony/Morgan scenes - hang on tight for the cuteness!

Read it on AO3 here!

The divorce was the easy part.

After finding Pepper in bed with an admittedly handsome blonde with great pecs and one of the nicest asses Tony could remember seeing, separating felt like the only rational thing to do. Pepper played the part of his beard for long enough – and despite how it happened, he didn’t feel bad that their marriage was over. A part of him felt like it might be time to finally be himself – let the world know what the real Tony Stark liked, who he actually was. His father’s voice was still too loud, though – even after all these years, Howard’s “you will not tarnish our name with your unnatural behavior,” dictated his actions.

The best part of his marriage to Pepper came from their daughter – a little girl who had Tony’s hair and eye color, but the beautiful round eye structure of her mother. She made Tony feel like a hero – like he could do no wrong in her opinion. No one else in his life gave him that much benefit of the doubt. It felt good to have someone looking up to him, even if that only happened on the weekends.

Pepper was tactful in her requests from the divorce – something that Tony felt grateful for. She kept the CEO position of Stark Industries; which Tony was happy to keep in her name – he liked getting to tinker on his own projects too much to worry about the business side of things at this point of his life. It gutted him a little when Pepper demanded Morgan stay with her most of the time – that little girl was one of the only things he liked about his life.

He conceded anyway, though – in the end, he figured having some stability from Pepper and Steve was better than what he could give her. He had trouble remembering to pick her up from daycare – a kid deserved more than that.

When the whirlwind of it was over, Tony kept his tower and all of the cool things in it – he got freedom he hadn’t wanted, and a huge split between himself and his daughter. He didn’t love Pepper, that was never a part of the deal. Having someone by his side went deeper than that. The idea of loneliness sat in the pit of his stomach for a while – the emptiness of the place a little haunting after so much laughter, so much time spent watching Morgan grow up. All wasn’t lost, of course – he got to see her on the weekends and the occasional holiday.

To make up for being away from her throughout the week, Tony made every time they were together a production. When she was younger, they went out to playgrounds and played until the girl practically fell asleep standing. He fed her whatever he decided a little kid should eat – their favorite being peanut butter and jellies with the crusts cut off.

The older she got, the more Tony started to incorporate her into his work in the lab. No Stark would fall behind the learning curve. Luckily, she took to it the same way Tony did, like the naturals that they were. Tony felt some of his best memories in his entire life were the weekends with Morgan, the two of them fixing Dum-E, building new little toys, and playing around with all the gadgets Stark Industries developed over the years.

For Morgan’s presence, Tony was grateful. He could never regret his time with Pepper because of her existence, so he kept things civil. They weren’t sharing Christmas dinners, or anything, but he got a hug from Pepper and a handshake from Steve every time he walked to the door to pick his daughter up. The idea of his little girl growing up away from him still shook him to the very core – he hated every second he knew he was missing; but they’d done a good job coming together to give her the stability she needed. It was much easier to be a family this way – no matter how bitter Tony wanted to be, he couldn’t deny it.

As long as Morgan was happy, Tony knew he could get past his hang-ups and make the most of whatever came his way.

Outside of his time with Morgan, Tony did not feel as optimistic. Things with Stark Industries were booming, he felt more than grateful for that fact. He couldn’t imagine an added stressor to the inner turmoil he dealt with on a daily basis. The mind he prided himself on couldn’t find a place to teether, the detachment of the routine he grew so accustomed to kicking him on his ass. Without Pepper, Tony didn’t have the buffer of someone telling him to go to bed or keeping most of the things in his life perfectly in order. He felt embarrassed to admit that it took him way too long to find where she put his belts in the closet after moving her own stuff out.

Not having that buffer also meant unlimited opportunity to spend all of his time consumed in the lab – so he let himself do just that. Aside from the alarm on his phone Friday night and Sunday afternoon, Tony didn’t think much about time. There were 72-hour stints in the lab that were quickly followed by an entire 24 of them in bed, dead to the world. It wasn’t healthy, he knew that – but it filled the gap.

There were so many things he needed to deal with in his personal life, lots of them topics Tony had been disregarding for most of his life. Having never learnt to deal with anything head on, Tony ignored it. Maybe that’s why he worked so hard – or maybe that’s why he decided to settle for something that wasn’t going to make either people a part of it happy. It felt easier to turn his head the other direction than actually face the fact that nothing would make him straight – not a single thing in this world.

He’d been taught from an early age to feel nothing but shame about it, too. If nothing else, Tony consciously understood that they were now in a totally different time of the world – that some things would need to change, but overall, there wouldn’t be too much detriment done. His insecurities, however – they were much louder than the literal facts he knew and understood, but obviously could not process – at least, not fully. A part of him thought that the right person – the right man – might change his mind and make it all worth it. He just never allowed himself to be in a position where he could find that man.

Between all of his time in the lab – there didn’t seem to be any change in his current position, either. No matter how solitary it felt when his little girl wasn’t around, Tony did nothing to change it. It felt like there’d been enough complicated in his life to really try and pursue anything else. That didn’t satisfy any of the thoughts in his head, or the yearnings within him – but it sure as hell kept him out of the news and focused on something that could be profitable.

For the most part, Tony didn’t get called out for it, either. Without Pepper there to literally pull him out of his chair and back onto whatever path he needed to be on – well, it was a lot easier for people to not see Tony for days on end. It didn’t matter, as long as he picked up Morgan and spent every second of the time he could with her – that’s all he was worried about.

Then, his little girl wasn’t so little anymore, he waited with Pepper and Steve as she turned around and waved at them one last time when they dropped her off for the first day of kindergarten.

“On Friday’s, you should pick her up from school, Tony,” Pepper said to him once Morgan was behind the sealed doors of the school’s entrance. Swiping off his sunglasses, Tony squinted at her, a brow raising. It wasn’t often that Tony got offered to spend extra time with his kid – so he didn’t think about how hard it’d been getting to pull himself out of his lab and out of the haze of nothing but relevant formulas and equations running through his brain.

“That sounds good, Pep. Thanks,” Tony finally replied, his eyes pointedly missing hers. He didn’t want to deal with whatever pitying look she might throw his way. Rubbing his chin, he let the silence linger for a second, then he turned around and started walking the other direction. “Always a pleasure,” he threw over his shoulder as a way of saying goodbye to the two of them. If he stuck around any longer, she’d be able to see the dark circles under his eyes and the collection of stubble on his upper cheeks he was usually so meticulous about taking care of.

There were gadgets and gizmos calling his name back in the lab, anyway.

He didn’t realize how fucked he actually was until he missed picking up Morgan for the fourth week in a row. The first couple of times he dealt with Pepper, she radiated hatred towards him. The fact that he spent time with Morgan was so important to her – despite the situation they were in, Pepper knew how much Tony loved their daughter. His slumps hadn’t been that bad in a while, but he couldn’t seem to pull himself out of this one. The lack of anger towards him this last failed attempt simply meant she moved past madness and into disappointment. It still smarted a little, having Pepper ever feel that way about him.

The next week, she didn’t give him a choice – her and Steve were going to Florida for the weekend and there was nothing he could do about it. Other than be on time to pick up their daughter, of course. Her rather blunt demands were clear; all Tony needed to do was get her at 3 from the carpool lane and the rest of the weekend was history. There were cartons of ice cream and a custom-made hot wheel car racing track waiting for them. He planned to let her use the entire living room, some of the modifications he made to the pieces would allow the cars to zoom around faster than the pure physics of the track would.

He got so caught up on a couple of the cars and fitting the wheels to run on the track that he let the snooze on his alarm to pick up Morgan go off more than a few times. When the annoying blare of the alarm finally managed to get through, it was already time to be there. Tony looked around panicked, his hands still covered in oil, some of the pieces he’d been working on spread out before him. Biting down on his lip, Tony dropped what was in his hands and got himself cleaned up – the clock ticking down ten minutes while he mucked around.

Disobeying the road signs got him to the school in less than eight minutes – his clock reading 3:21 when he threw the car into park and ran into the building. There were still plenty of people walking around, so he couldn’t be that late. Luckily, he didn’t have to get very far into the building, Tony recognized Morgan’s brown hair without the girl even having to turn around. The waves cascading down her back matched Tony’s when he let his own hair get a little longer. He felt himself smiling – his eyes moving from her over to the person squat down next to her, talking with kindly spoken words and wild hand gestures.

His daughter’s giggle had him stepping forward – the thought of her not even realizing his slip up something he felt grateful for (guilty, yes – but grateful nonetheless.) Tony almost stopped dead in his tracks when he finally managed to catch sight of the person’s face. The man was alluring – the skin of his cheeks pale and covering sharp cheek bones. His eyes were like diving into a river full of chocolate, delectable and overwhelming – Tony almost felt like they were pulling him in. It took a second to register that he was smiling – those pale cheeks coloring, the slightest crinkle at the corner of his eye making the man’s whole look pretty close to irresistible.

Morgan was too smart for her own good and followed the man’s eyes, her own lighting up when they met Tony’s for the first time in a week. “Daddy!” she exclaimed, her little feet carrying her over until she could throw her arms around him, her little nose pressing into his leg.

“Hey, sweet pea,” Tony replied, his hand running over her hair, then tugging at the little bow there, his tongue poking out in her direction. “Ready to go, stink face?” he asked her, his face in full blow smile mode now.

She grabbed his arm and pulled him over to the man, who was now standing tall – they were the same height, though Tony’s hair stood a little taller. He almost out right chuckled at the thought – his vanity ludicrous. “This is Mr. Peter, daddy.” Morgan looked up at him, her eyes wide, the excitement of introducing her favorite people to each other so evident there. Fuck, he loved the hell out of her.

“Hi, Mr. Peter,” Tony spoke softly, his hand sticking out on offer between them. Their gazes locked, the zing of it almost enough to drop his hand and send him to his knees. He kept himself upright, though – his teeth digging into the side of his cheek to keep his thoughts right there, in the here and now. “I’m Tony Stark.”

The warm grip that encased his hand almost brought him to his knees again – he didn’t think he ever felt something so – magnetic. Tony let his fingers squeeze Peter’s lightly, both men holding onto the shake for a couple seconds too long. “Oh, Mr. Stark – I absolutely know who you are. It’s great to meet you in person. Morgan has been talking about you for weeks, nice to know I was thinking about the right guy,” They finally let go, and Peter’s hands moved to rest in the back pockets of his dark jeans.

Tony looked down at his daughter, the man’s words hitting him in the gut. Okay, so maybe he needed to get his shit together – maybe it wasn’t all that okay that he hadn’t been there when she expected him. That was shit his own father did and more than anything, Tony wanted to be so much better than Howard could have ever dreamed. “I hope she told you all about Dum-E – we’ve been replacing his interface the past couple of weekends.” His voice was proud, the young girl’s intelligence something Tony took great stock in.

Watching Peter light up with a laugh shouldn’t have been as nice as it was – it shouldn’t have sent a shock to his very core. Never before, he thought, his hand tightening ever so slightly on Morgan’s shoulder. Morgan broke in before the other man could speak, her face turning red from how hard she tried to keep the words inside.

“I did, daddy. I think a lot of the kids don’t believe me when I talk about things with you – but I told Mr. Peter all about how you made him wear the dunce cap because he hosed you down for the hundredth time that day.” Morgan’s hands were going wild, her excitability coming from Tony – a trait he hoped she kept forever.

Tony saw Peter nod his head, the smile on his face growing. “She did – in fact, she told me all about your long history of bad interactions with the robot.” He looked at Morgan with affection, the man obviously very good at his job – very in tune with the children he taught. “We’ve got show and tell coming up, maybe you can bring him?” Peter shot him a smirk, his eyes twinkling.

Morgan didn’t waste any time jumping on board, either. “Oh, can we please, daddy? No one will have anything nearly as cool as that.” Her smile broadened and her eyes started to well a little – the patented puppy dog gaze doing its best to melt him.

Who the hell was he to deny anyone that looked that cute anything they desired? Tony cupped her cheek and grinned, his head nodding. “We absolutely can, baby girl.” The squeal he got in return made up for the fact that getting the robot to the school would be an absolute pain in the ass. Regardless, Morgan’s interest in all of his tech and the building process needed to be nurtured – even if that meant hauling an ancient science fair project to a kindergarten class filled with young, impressionable children.

His little girl thrusting her backpack at him brought him back from his thoughts, her big brown eyes looking up at him. “Can we go now, daddy? You promised we could play with the track and it’s going to be bedtime before I know it!” She looked at him seriously, her lips in the slightest pout. It wasn’t necessary, Tony was aware that Morgan knew that just as well as he did. Shouldering the bag, Tony nodded at her, a wink being sent her way.

“Well, it’s nice to have met you, Peter. Thanks for taking such good care of Morgan,” he ruffled her hair again, the girl’s hands coming up to try and stop him. His feet didn’t want to move, though – Tony’s eyes were once again locked with Peter’s and the few feet of distance between them felt like too much. A compulsion to close the distance rushed through him – each of his fingers physically aching to touch.

The big grin spreading across the other man’s face didn’t help, either. “It was nice to meet you too, Tony.” He gripped his bottom lip between his teeth for a few seconds, Tony’s instinct to touch growing steadily by the second.

It took every ounce of self-control to keep his entire body from launching across the space between them and narrow it down to nothing.

Instead, he put his hand down to his side, Morgan grabbing it by default. She glanced up at him and smiled a toothy grin – she’d lost her first tooth over the summer, something that was quite the feat for the five-year-old.

He shot Peter another smile before tugging at his daughter’s hand, his skin suddenly crawling with a feeling he couldn’t describe. “See you next week, Mr. Peter,” Tony tossed over his shoulder as they walked out – the younger man’s eyes not leaving him the entire time. A squeeze to one of his fingers had Tony looking down at the small girl next to him.

“Did you get the mint chip ice cream?” Morgan asked, her voice all of the sudden higher pitched, her eyes wide with worry. He fucked up one time and didn’t replace the stash and this was the treatment he got. Rolling his eyes, Tony kept her on edge until they got to the car. He dropped her hand and made quick work of putting her in her seat.

When she was all buckled in, Tony tickled her tummy, the squirms and giggles totally worth the shoe he took right in the bicep. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to her head when their laughter died down, his heart full for the first time throughout that entire week. “I got mint chip ice cream and chocolate sauce. How’s that for sundae night?” Tony asked her, his pointer finger pressing against her nose in a very boop-like gesture.

The soft hand on his cheek surprised him for a second, Morgan going from laughter to total seriousness in the matter of a second. She totally got that trait from her mother, he thought – his eyes moving until he caught glances with his daughter. “I love you, Daddy,” Morgan said softly, her small fingers brushing his cheeks lightly. “Don’t tell mommy this, but you’re much better at sundae night. She tried to make me eat those bright red cherries – yuck!”

It felt a little easier to breath after that – he got in the car a whole lot more lighthearted than before, at least. Her babbles coming from the backseat were much better than anything Tony could have put on the radio – he loved learning more about Truffles the turtle and his adventures around the fish tank. One day he’d get her a dog and he couldn’t wait to see how she’d react to that – all of the stories she would tell.

Walking into the penthouse, Tony almost lost his shit right along with the little girl – her eyes lit up and her feet were carrying her over to the track he built before the rest of her body got on board. The trip and stumble she did added to the inability to keep a straight face – he slapped a hand over his mouth to continue to observe her silently. She walked around the track and inspected all of the different areas she knew Tony planned to change last weekend. “It looks like my red car is definitely going to win this time,” she mumbled, her hands skimming along the edges of it.

Despite loving the heck out of her, Tony felt determined to teach Morgan about reality and the ins and outs of navigating it. He never let her win and took lots of slack from Pepper about it – yet, it made her a smarter game player. She thought things through – she looked at the entire picture. If it made him an asshole to teach her that being the best was the only way to do things – well, he didn’t really give a shit. Tony already knew he was an asshole, anyway.

The few steps between himself and the living room were easily taken, his chest filled with excitement. Her reaction was exactly what he’d been looking for, the girl’s smile the single best thing Tony had in his life at present. He smiled in her direction, his eyebrows quirked, “we’ll see.” He swiftly picked her up, small arms wrapping around his neck without any hesitation. “Why don’t you go get changed into some lab clothes and we can find out,” Tony suggested, a kiss being placed on her cheek as he did.

Morgan giggled and kicked her feet, her hands pushing against him. “Put me down and I will.” He did exactly that, her legs moving the second she touched the ground. Getting to the end of the hall, she turned back and faced Tony, a mischievous glint in her eye – “you’re going down, daddy.”

----

Tony sat leaned against the island early the next morning – the dream he fell into last night still so very vivid, like every single touch he experienced within it was the real thing. His hands tightened around the mug in his hands, eyes slamming shut. It didn’t make sense, to feel so guilty – dreams were nothing, totally personal – no one had to or even got to know what was in them. Yet, he couldn’t stop himself from playing it over and over again. Maybe that’s why he felt so dirty about it.

It wasn’t surprising when he fell into bed and immediately went to sleep the second his head hit the pillow. Between the races, copious amounts of ice cream, and the big game of tag they played right before bed, Tony was exhausted. He didn’t do a lot of sleeping during the earlier part of the week, either – so the rest was much needed. It wasn’t often he went through his sleep cycle enough to dream, he jumped awake at almost any sound or movement. Not last night, though – no, he’d gotten to live out the dream what felt like the entire night.

In it, he found himself on his knees. That made a lot of sense, actually – he liked that position and couldn’t remember the last time he found himself in it. His work-roughened hands were trailing along pale thighs, the skin there unblemished and slightly hairy – the muscle settled under the skin just right against his fingertips. His mouth was preoccupied with the expanse of a trim waist, tongue and teeth making a trail from one hipbone to the other.

It felt like the start of something very, very good.

Then, he looked up to catch the eye of the person above him and noticed chestnut curls, dark eyes, and pretty pink lips – the name Peter wanting to fall from his lips. Fingers were thrust into his hair and before he could think any more on it, Tony’s lips were wrapping themselves around an irresistible length – the tip already weeping with wetness, the tang of it pulling a moan from his chest. He set a vigorous pace and enjoyed every single second of it.

Right before what he assumed was a load of cum dripping down his throat, the hand in his hair gripped tightly, pulling his head back until Tony felt his lips slip off perfect, velvet heat – his eyes wide in confusion. “I want to cum with you inside of me,” Peter purred. Tony could do nothing other than get to his feet, his head being taken between two palms and brought forward until their lips were pressed together.

When he eventually bottomed out, Peter’s legs were on his shoulders, his knees pressing into Tony’s neck as their skin finally settled together. Because it was a dream, it went on forever. Tony could still remember the way the sweat trailed down the side of his face, his arms heavy and sore from holding his body up and thrusting with everything he had left. His stomach clenched tightly until there was nothing left but to jump off and give into the delightful pleasure of the free fall.

Even if was just a dream, Tony hadn’t ever cum that hard in his life and the result in his boxers when he jumped awake was something new, too. The last time he had a wet dream, he’d been under the age of 14 with no clue as to what in the hell was happening. Now, it felt a little shameful, like he couldn’t control his urges. In truth, that kind of seemed like the case. There weren’t even twelve hours between meeting the man and having a vivid fantasy about him.

Tony tried not to think about how very much his type the man was – or how Tony pictured a someone just like him in all his fantasies, long before he ever met the man.

Blinking, Tony brought his coffee cup up to his lips, the coldness of the bitter liquid a straight shock to his system. He spat it back into the cup and rolled his eyes – he must have been sitting there a lot longer than he initially thought. It shook him to the core though, how easily the other man affected him – how much Tony wanted, craved, hell – how much he needed. Hiding away from the world came with some downfalls – this one obvious enough. Suppression didn’t change the facts.

There wasn’t any use dwelling about it in that moment, however. Glancing down at the watch on his wrist, Tony figured he had 20 more minutes of silence before the sound of little feet barreling down the hallway engulfed the place. The thought brought a smile to his face, Tony very glad to have the distraction of fun times with his beautiful daughter. Especially after last night – a little quality time doing absolutely nothing other than having a good time was exactly what he needed. With that in mind, he got up from his slumped over position and strode further into the kitchen, the intent to make breakfast fresh on his mind.

Like he figured, Morgan sprinted into the room right around the time the bacon finished cooking – her eyes still muggy with sleep, but a soft smile on her face. “It smells good in here,” she eventually said, her bunny still in her hand as she climbed into her usual chair. “Did you do French toast, too?”

The spatula in his hand easily flipped the last couple of pieces of their breakfast while she spoke, his mind a lot clearer than just a few minutes earlier. He looked over at her, the spatula coming up to point in her direction. “Is it really breakfast without French toast?” Tony shot back. Her giggle was everything, a direct shot to the heart. Turning back to the stove, he dumped both pieces onto a plate and turned off the burner. It took a little constructing, but he had a nice-looking plate of cut up French toast pieces and two strips of bacon smothered in warm maple syrup in front of her within a couple of minutes.

“Bon Appetit,” he said with a flourish. Morgan clapped for him, though her eyes were glued to the food in front of her. Placing a kiss on her cheek, Tony walked back over the stove and put together his own plate before joining her. They ate in a companionable silence, which suited Tony just fine. He loved her never-ending commentary on everything – her brain was beautiful and was quickly starting to shape into something he couldn’t wait to see come to life. He also appreciated the times he got to watch her in silence, the way she stuffed several pieces of French toast into her mouth so endearing, despite being silly, too.

She even helped him clear the dishes – which blew him off his feet every time it happened. Tony knew they’d been trying to teach her manners and the rules of the land for the past five years – it was something completely different when the tangible example stood in front of him, her reaction genuine and without hesitation. “How do you feel about the zoo today, sweet pea?” Tony asked her, his hip hitting the dishwasher door to close it all the way.

“The zoo sounds perfect. As long as we can spend some time in the lab later. I want you to show me what you did to the wheels of your car,” Morgan responded immediately, her hands brushing some of the stray hair from her face. Tony couldn’t stop the laugh that slipped from his lips – her determination to beat him so goddamn cute.

Turning, Tony picked her up, his arms wrapping around her tightly. “Alright, that sounds like a deal. How many times should we feed the giraffes?”

A couple of hours later, Tony had a tuckered-out Morgan in his arms, the girl passed out after all the excitement of the zoo. Since they were up so early, they caught all of the animals during feeding time. Tony donated frequently to the city zoos, so it didn’t take anything other than mentioning of who he was to get them a little closer. As usual, the elephants and giraffes were a favorite amongst the two – Tony hoped the photographer at the exhibit got the big animal licking Morgan’s face, the whole scene absolutely priceless.

It was mutually decided to vacate the premises when the sun started to make the day really hot – the place was starting to get crowded, anyway. Walking back from the elephant exhibit, Morgan asked to climb into his arms and promptly fell asleep against his chest. She was growing up so fast – each week between visits making it seem like he missed so much of her life, of the beautiful process of watching her grow. Moments like this were ones he felt determined to cherish. He managed to get her back to the car and into the seat without waking her up – something he didn’t often accomplish. Her sleeping habits matched his in a lot of ways, being a light sleeper amongst them.

He knew she was tired when Morgan didn’t protest against the nap he suggested when they walked into the house. She simply grabbed her bunny and settled into the makeshift bed on the couch. Sitting down next to her, Tony stroked her hair while she slept for another hour – Amazing World of Gumball providing him comfort while the princess snoozed.

The total wind down brought energy back with a vengeance, though – the second she woke up, the rest of the day moved by in a whirlwind. They snacked on hot dogs and mac and cheese before tucking into the small area he made for her in his lab – all of the tools safe for the young girl to actually handle. Tony took apart his blue hot wheel car and showed her the modifications – her eyes roaming over everything his pointed to, her entire being focused on his words. When they made the same modifications to her car, she looked up at him triumphantly, a smirk on her lips. “Now I’m really going to beat you, daddy.”

And she did – a couple times, actually. The little dance she made up to rub the fact in his face made the couple extra modifications he made while she wasn’t looking worth it. Maybe letting her win every now and again wasn’t too terrible, especially when she learned so much throughout the process. He got to listen to her talk about her win the entire time they ate the pizza he ordered and well into the rest of the night, her mind still there when he settled her under the covers – his own fatigue wearing his patience down a little bit.

Tucking her in, he pressed a kiss to her forehead, a chuckle leaving his lips. “If you don’t stop rubbing it in, I’m not going to want to challenge you to a rematch tomorrow,” Tony whispered to her, his tone conspiratorial, like he was sharing a secret with her. “You have to go to sleep right now, or we’ll never know who the best winner out of three is.”

The soft gasp that escaped her lips almost cracked the serious façade – her worry tangible in how still she got on the bed, in how fast her little eyelids closed, the typical faking sleep thing coming into play. Rolling his eyes, he pressed another kiss to her forehead. “Sleep for real, okay? We’re gonna see if Uncle Happy has gotten any better at driving his go-cart since the last time.” He swiped his thumb against her cheek bone, a soft smile on his face. “Love you, peanut.”

Morgan turned her head and pressed a kiss against the hand still near her cheek. “I love you 3000, daddy.” Her response was immediate, the words always a kick right in the heart – making him melt just a tiny bit more.

When he peeked in on her later, he grinned at the way she was completely passed out, her bunny on the floor by the head of the bed. He picked it up and placed it within her reach – there’d been a time when she couldn’t do a damn thing without that stupid bunny. Shaking his head, he took one more glance at the small human he’d been gifted before walking out and heading to his own room.

Exhaustion took him under quickly again, the dreams so far from his mind throughout the day, he didn’t think about what a second night worth of them might be like. The desperation and neediness in his mind was manifesting into something Tony couldn’t control and for the most part, didn’t really want to, either. At least in his dreams, he could be himself – enjoy the hell out of the things he didn’t often let himself have. Things that – with each passing night and each sexier dream, he didn’t want to stop himself from having any longer, either.

Soon enough, Tony was taking Morgan into school on Monday morning, their epic weekend elongated a couple days because Pepper and Steve got caught in a storm that delayed their flight. The idea of getting a couple extra days with her daddy had Morgan running around the room, her hands clapping loudly. To stop the noise, Tony reminded her that she still needed to go to school and their weekend time would not extend into the week – he knew Pepper’s routine was strict and planned to keep to it.

Dropping Morgan off came with the extra perk of running into the gorgeous Peter, the young teacher in grey slacks and a navy-blue polo when Tony encountered him that first day of the week. Morgan didn’t bother sticking around, there were already a group of four other kids looking in her direction expectantly. Making a soft noise of hurt, Tony turned to walk out of the room when a voice stopped him.

“Mr. Stark – I’m surprised to see you again so soon,” Peter said, his long legs putting him in front of Tony before he could even process the words. His eyes betrayed him, the muscles firing to move them back and forth, the miles of the younger man’s skin being unconsciously catalogued. Blushing, Tony tore his gaze away for a second.

The long locks of Morgan’s hair over Peter’s shoulder calmed him immediately, his focus returning back to the gorgeous man after a moment. “Her mom is still out of town – so I’ve got her for the next couple of days. The extra time is greatly appreciated,” Tony replied, his cheeks slipping into a smile on their own. “It’s nice to see you again.”

The words were out before he could siphon them through the filter, yet – he could see Peter’s cheeks spread into a smile on their own, his chocolate brown eyes sparkling. How in the world did someone look that stunning? He shifted a little, trying to lessen the pressure of the building heat within him. Another person never affected him like this – especially with just a smile and a look.

“It’s nice to see you again, too. Morgan loves her mother; you can totally tell. The way she feels about you, though – it’s something else. The way you are with her is – it’s nice. Really nice,” Peter stuttered out the last couple of words, his cheeks taking on a scarlet blush. It was an endearing color, the red coordinating well with the darkness of his hair and the smooth pale skin encasing it.

The pressure he’d been trying to relieve built some more, his insides feeling like they were on the verge of explosion.

“She’s a miniature version of myself. That’s hard not to love,” he got out immediately, his eyes breaking from Peter’s to look over his shoulder again. All of the kids waiting at the door for her were gathered in a circle around her, the girl’s hands gesturing wildly as she told them a story. Probably the one about their race on Sunday where her car slid past the finish line a couple milliseconds before Tony’s did. Glancing back, he noticed Peter’s smile softened, face still covered in that delicious blush.

“She’s also the coolest person on the planet. But I know you already know that.”

They both laughed at that, the truth of it pretty undeniable. Peter shook his head, the obvious attempt to clear it making the longer hair on the front of his head fall into his eyes – the look of it even more stunning – disheveled looked good on the young teacher. The look they shared went on a little longer than should have been appropriate, a little arm grabbing Peter’s leg the only thing that brought both of them out of the haze. Tony sucked in a breath, his eyes going wide for a second.

He’d been so comfortable trapped in the fog of shared connection – for the first time in his entire life, Tony didn’t feel ashamed by the fact that another man was the reason for the big smile on his face. That thought was scary and sent him in the other direction quickly. “I’ll get out of your hair. Have a nice day, Peter,” Tony offered, his feet already carrying him out the door.

----

Fortunately for both Tony and Morgan, Pepper and Steve remained stuck in Florida for the rest of the week – which meant they got to hangout after school every day. It didn’t hurt, either, the fact that Tony got to drop her off and pick her up – each time he did, his interactions with Peter got better and better, the man interesting and seemingly interested in Tony, too.

Rolling into Friday, Tony was excited to head into the weekend – they were planning on heading to Central Park the next day, Morgan excited to see all of the puppies and run around the green, green grass. Her enjoyment of the little things never ceased to amaze him. Regardless, he felt great, his daughter’s presence a huge part of that. A very, very huge part of that.

Waking up to take care of her before school made the day start on a good note – the time between dropping her off and picking her up, Tony let himself obsess over the work on his desk in the lab. The act of stepping out and doing something else broke up his concentration and made leaving the lab so much easier. It seemed crazy, how much a couple extra days with his favorite person could change things up for him.

And, okay – Tony had to admit that being open in his flirting with Peter during their brief conversations felt pretty good, too. For whatever reason, the man made him feel like he could be himself – like the fact that he smiled too big and looked too long wasn’t a bad thing. In fact, Tony could swear he found Peter glancing at him, staring when he thought Tony wasn’t paying direct attention. He always made sure to stop and talk to Tony when he came to pick Morgan up, his cheeks stained with a now recognizable (and stupidly attractive) flush.

It was so obvious that Tony found himself speechless when Morgan practically shouted – “I think Mr. Peter likes you, daddy,” from the back of the car on the way home Thursday afternoon. Like many things with Morgan, the bluntness of her actions felt like a punch to the gut. A needed one, maybe – but a punch to the gut, nonetheless. He glanced back at her in the rearview mirror, the little girl’s attention never straying from the bunny in her hands, despite the words coming from her mouth.

She turned out to be right, though – Peter caught his eye before Morgan did when he went to pick her up on Friday. Tony watched delicately long legs bring Peter towards him, that smile he liked so much plastered on the other man’s face. “Hey, Tony,” he started, a determined look on his face. “It’s probably a little unorthodox – me just coming up to you like this. But uh – I was wondering if you’d like to go out with me, uhm – this weekend?” The way he sputtered through the question made Tony’s heart quake, the muscle working overtime in the moment.

Smiling wide, Tony could do nothing other than nod – his throat a little tight from the range of emotions running through him. Most of the exchanges he had with men in the past happened in the darkness of night, not in the middle of a kindergarten classroom. He couldn’t find it in him to be mad about it, though – this felt much more right, more wholesome and real. Like maybe, if he went about things the right way, it could be more than just once – that concept so foreign to Tony, so different than the settling he’d done in the past.

“Yes – I would like that very much. I have Morgan all weekend, though – she’ll have to tag along,” Tony replied – he wasn’t going to feel bad about including the girl, they’d probably have a great time simply because she was there, anyway.

Peter didn’t bat an eye; his smile grew at the mention of Morgan – the man had an obvious soft spot for her. “I already figured. I thought maybe we could go to the park, or something. I usually spend Saturday morning out and about with Gracey, my dog.” His smile was huge, the prospect of spending time with him and Morgan something that seemed to truly make him happy.

Tony’s eyes lit up at the mention of a dog, his heart skipping another beat – the entire situation got better and better as the seconds past. “A dog? Oh, squirt is going to shit her pants. I can’t wait to see that,” Tony said nonchalantly, his eyes sparkling. “We were going to go to Central Park – is that a fine enough establishment for the lovely Gracey?”

Morgan ran towards them as they spoke, her light up shoes flashing with each step. Her arms reached up, the universal signal to be picked up. Leaning down, Tony swept her up, her small frame tucking against his side easily. He reminded himself to soak in the moments like this one, the smallness she had now wouldn’t stick around forever. He bit down on his tongue to chase that thought away – things were going well; it’d be stupid to bog them down with stuff that didn’t matter.

“Central Park sounds great. Is 9 too early for you guys?” Peter looked between the two of them, the man obviously including Morgan in the decision, too.

“Morgan, Peter is going to join us for our walk through Central Park tomorrow with his doggie Gracey, does that sound okay to you? Is 9 too early?” He bounced her on his hip slightly, the movement making her giggle.

“Yes, daddy. That sounds like fun. Mr. Peter, will I be able to play with your dog?” Morgan asked innocently, her head tilted in curiosity – her mind spinning like a pinwheel, the girl so much like her daddy.

A soft laugh left the other man’s chest, his lips tugging into that patented smile. “Gracey loves new friends, she’ll be excited to make one out of you, Morgan,” Peter replied softly. “I even think she’ll let you walk her if you’re extra good.”

Morgan’s face became serious after that, her jaw set in child-like resolve. “I’ll be on my best behavior, I promise,” she said, holding out a pinkie between them. She waited patiently, a smile on her face the entire time.

“I’m going to hold you to that,” the other joked, his pinky flying out to join Morgan’s in the pinky swear handshake she’d taken to doing. He even knew to press his thumb against hers so they could stamp it – the promise now made and not able to be broken.

Shaking his head at the two of them, Tony used his free hand to reach into his pocket to grab a business card. Their fingers grazed when he handed it over, a smirk on Tony’s face. In that moment, he felt confident – happy with the way things were going for once. “Text me later, we’ll figure out somewhere to meet.” Tony didn’t say he wanted Peter to have his number just in case he wanted to talk, or for emergencies – little things like that.

Tony watched Peter pocket the card, a satisfied feeling settling in his chest. Looking up at Morgan, he used his fingers to tickle her stomach – the action never failing to get the exact reaction he was looking for. Her laugh brought him pure joy and always would. “Tell Mr. Peter we’ll see him tomorrow,” Tony prodded, the two men sharing a look when she turned her head towards him, the promise she made obviously still fresh in her mind.

“See you tomorrow. I can’t wait to meet Gracey,” Morgan added, her smile cheeky – the trademark Stark smirk slowly starting to slip into her repertoire. “Can we go now, daddy?” Her words sounded familiar, Tony heard them every day this week, his flirtations with Peter digging into her social life, apparently.

Chuckling, Tony pressed a kiss to her cheek, any irritation he felt melting the second it entered his brain. She was too damn cute for her own good – the damn kid had him wrapped around her finger. “Sure thing, squirt. See you tomorrow, Peter,” Tony said, his eyes meeting the others for a few seconds, the gaze warm and a little heated – their promise not coming in the form of a pinky swear.

It didn’t take much for either of the Stark’s to get moving the next morning. Partly because Tony promised donuts for breakfast if Morgan didn’t give him any hassle at bedtime – which she did not – not a single bit of it whatsoever. He knew her sugar high later in the day would kick his ass, yet – the idea of watching her bounce off the walls made his heart race a little. Having fun was easy with the little girl around, even if it meant that fun came from watching the little girl enjoy herself.

At the donut shop, they stood with their noses pressed against the glass, each trying to decide what the best selection would be. “Do you think Mr. Peter is a glazed guy? Or a filled donut type? Or should we just get a bunch of different ones and cross our fingers?” Tony asked her idly, the little girl looking up at him with a shrug.

“You should just get one of everything. Especially that big chocolate one back there,” answered, her eyes glued to the biggest donut in the case. Shaking his head, Tony followed her advice and grabbed one of everything. Between that a chocolate milk and the two coffees, they were pretty much set.

He let Morgan run in front of him when they got closer to the park – they’d been there enough for the girl to know where they were and to be aware of where he was. She didn’t seem to think it prudent to stray too far, anyway – she came babbling back to him every few steps with the next observation. It went on until they finally got to the point where they were meeting Peter, the younger man already standing there with a gorgeous blue bull terrier, the dog already straining at the leash as they approached.

“Hey, Pete,” Tony greeted, his hand already moving to hold the cupholder out between them. “Morgan got this crazy chocolate donut, but there’s a ton of other sugary goodness in there, if you’re interested. Cream and sugar, too,” he let Peter take the second coffee, then held the bag up. Peter took the coffee and most of the cream and sugar – his face sheepish for a second before going all in. Tony grinned at that, his taste for black coffee never coming in handy more. Tony got the bag back with a plain glazed donut missing and a soft smile.

“Thank you, Starks. You guys are clutch – I was just telling Gracey how hungry I was,” Peter started, his words cut up a little by the bits of donut he was chewing in his mouth. Tony watched transfixed, the human in front of him getting cooler by the second. “We did our morning jog around the park already, so she’ll be ready for a casual stroll now.”

Looking at him, Tony could see running shoes on his feet and long joggers – they sat delectably on the man’s ass, the fabric just on the right side of tight. It took him a second to pull his gaze away and when he did, he took a couple of clearing breaths, each one only slightly loosening the clench in his chest. “Sounds like you’ve had a productive morning. Want to walk a little and find a place to sit down? Morgan is practically bursting at the seams to pet Gracey – who is absolutely beautiful, by the way.”

The smile back at him had the clenching tightness in his chest coming back – Tony realizing in that instant that it was just Peter making him feel that way. The feeling was foreign, something that shouldn’t make sense or feel the way it did – at the same time, Tony felt himself giving into that clench with every second that passed. Maybe this is what it felt like to actually like someone – to feel nervous and apprehensive and elated to freely be enjoying every second.

Tony returned the glowing grin with one of his own – his heart stammering in his chest in the best of ways.

“I’m surprised they haven’t jumped each other yet, to be honest. Gracey isn’t usually all that patient. I like your idea, though – I saw another donut in that bag I might like to try, too,” Peter spoke in such a calm way, his demeanor relaxed, the other man seemingly lacking the nerves coursing through Tony.

They set a slow pace, both Morgan and Gracey way out ahead of them, the little girl trying to bend down and pet the dog’s flank every few steps. When they passed a trash can, Tony threw away the drink carrier with his now empty coffee – the freedom of his hands something he appreciated when he and Peter started to drift a little closer. “Tell me a bit about yourself,” Tony murmured after a while. The silence between them was nice, but Tony was interested – he figured there was more beyond the surface of the man standing next to him.

Peter stayed silent for a couple of minutes, the man obviously formulating his answer. From the beginning, Tony noticed that Peter didn’t jump into anything, he thought about his words and delivered them with meaning. Tony forced himself to be patient and wait to hear what the other man said – his natural instinct to ask another question becoming easier to tamper down with every single exposure to Peter. He let his arm swing between them, instead, his attention slipping between their matching steps and the slight brush of Peter’s hand against his own as they took them.

“When I’m not Mr. Peter, I create code for websites and watch an abundance of Bob’s Burgers. I grew up in Queen’s, so New York has always been home for me. Gracey and I have been living that single life together for about four years now- oh, and I’m deathly allergic to honey,” Peter finally replied, his head turning ever couple of words to catch Tony’s eyes as he spoke. “What about you, Tony Stark? What makes you tick?” the words were low and accompanied by a head tilt towards a bench a few feet ahead of them.

There wasn’t a lot of room on the bench, so they needed to sit pretty close to each other – which, for Tony, felt like a precious gift. Their shoulders settled together, the warmth radiating against Tony’s right side absolutely staggering – everything about Peter felt that way. Watching Morgan for a second, he saw her and Gracey getting to know each other – the easy way the dog let her in and started to play meant they’d have at least a few minutes of distraction.

With the donuts between them, Tony let his free hand run along the length of the bench, his fingers just a few inches shy of ending up on Peter’s shoulder. He relaxed into the seat, the general goodness of the scene too good not to enjoy. “To be honest with you, I’m kind of a boring guy. I spend way too much time in my lab, which is completely covered in nanotech at the moment, so there’s many hours to be wasted. I like old rock music and great whiskey. And Morgan. Being her dad is one of the best bits of me,” he turned then, catching eyes with Peter. The man shifted a bit while Tony spoke, his knee now pulled up onto the bench.

He looked at Tony with such an open expression, his entire body seemingly willing to take in all the facts thrown his way. With a quick breath, Tony let his biggest shame slip from his lips – the idea of having someone understand him making it easier than it should have been. “I’ve also been closeted for most of my life – so there’s a lot about me that I don’t really know about.” He felt his face color as the words sounded between them – an embarrassment embracing him simply because he admitted something like that.

A knee hitting his thigh was not the reaction he expected – though, Peter wasn’t at all what he expected, either – so maybe he should get used to that feeling. Shifting a bit, Tony let Peter’s knee press a little more firmly into his thigh – the touch comforting, despite the mortification running through him from his little confession.

“None of that sounded boring. Especially the nanotech. You may need to show me that sometime soon,” Peter started, his body moving until the arm Tony had around the back of the bench could easily fit around his shoulders. There wasn’t any expectation in the move, just reassurance of understanding, a silent confirmation that Peter did in fact get what Tony was going through. “Are you going to stay there?” The unspoken ‘in the closet’ wasn’t missed, its implication as clear as the attraction between them.

With Peter so close, Tony gave in a little, his fingertips trailing along the edge of Peter’s shoulder, the touch barely there. Thinking about it, Tony knew that he couldn’t – stay in the closet. Not any longer. Not after taking several years from another human’s life, just to keep a secret that, for all intents and purposes, didn’t mean shit to anyone but himself and himself alone. So many things warred inside of him, but he knew he wasn’t – not when there were so many parts of life he missed out on already.

“No – definitely not. It’s kind of a lonely place. One I don’t think I really need to be in any longer,” Tony said, finality and determination in his voice. He didn’t want to run down the street shouting about his love for cock, he might never get to that level, but he liked being out with Peter – he enjoyed the casualty of being with someone that made him feel good. And if Morgan taught him anything in the last few days, it was that he deserved to be happy – things in life went a lot better when a resounding feeling of joy overtook the dread of always being tucked away.

Peter’s free hand patted his thigh softly, his shoulder pressing into Tony’s side. “Good, the grass is definitely greener on the other side,” he said softly. Tony felt himself smile, the hand on the bench closing the last few inches and wrapping around his shoulders, pulling him close. Green on the other side, indeed.

The rest of the morning went by in a haze of laughter, too much sugar, and the constant babble of one Morgan Stark. They walked around the park for another hour or so – Morgan’s sugar rush hitting right around the time Peter offered to let her walk Gracey. By the time they were walking back towards their cars, Morgan was walking sluggishly with the equally tired dog – Peter and Tony sharing a grin over their heads. “Do you want to come back to ours? I can get these two set up with some lunch and a place to crash for a little while,” Tony asked, the hilarity of how close they actually parked by each other wearing off when they collected to say goodbye.

Tony wasn’t ready for the day to end – and by the way Morgan kept herself close to Gracey’s lead, she wasn’t ready for it to end, either. Like they were running on the same wavelength, Tony and Morgan both looked over at Peter with puppy dog eyes – the Stark looks working in more ways than one.

It seemed like they managed to melt him in his tracks, Peter’s face softened, and a hearty laugh fell from his lips. “You two are going to be quite the pair, aren’t you?” He shook his head, his smile growing. “I don’t have anything else planned for the day, so I’m down. As long as you give me lunch, too. Six donuts aren’t even close to being enough,” Peter rubbed his stomach, his eyebrows arching.

The possibility of spontaneously combusting washed over him for a second, his face heating up, cheeks burning with a certain sort of fire. What in the actual fuck was happening to him? Biting down on his lip, Tony reined himself in, his head nodding. “You got it, dude,” Tony responded, his hand reaching down to grab Morgan’s, her face once again happy now that her time with Gracey wasn’t coming to an end yet. “I’ll send you the address, but we’re going straight back – if you want to follow.”

After getting Morgan into the seat and onto the road, Tony turned the AC/DC they’d been jamming to early down and looked over his shoulder. “How was that? Seems like you had a lot of fun with Gracey,” Tony remarked, his lips tugging into a soft grin.

“Gracey is my new best friend, daddy. Peter said he had a ball for her in his car. Can we play with it back at the house? I’ll try not to break anything,” Morgan’s words came out in one clump, her excitement and inability to control it spilling out all over the place. Her feet were kicking, and the bunny was back in her arms.

He snorted, his hand clenching around the steering wheel to stop himself from laughing outright – there was no denying that she was his child. “As long as you try not to break anything. You can go into the big guest room without the bed – you guys can run around all you want in there.” Keeping his eyes on the wheel, he reached back to pat her knee lightly. “Glad you had fun, pumpkin.”

A while later, Tony and Peter were tucked onto the couch in the Stark living room, the race car track now put away (and by that, he meant fully functional in one of the other guest rooms) to give a clear view of the tv once again. Peter’s surprisingly good cooking skills came in handy when they made fresh tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches.

Watching Peter show Morgan how to crunch up Goldfish into her soup made his heart skip a couple of beats – and any delusion of not being totally smitten with Peter was out the window. His kid meant the world to him, the simple fact that she didn’t miss a beat with Peter around spoke volumes.

Morgan and Gracey were snuggled up together on the floor of the little girl’s room. The excitement of the morning and purposeful heartiness of the meal had her down for the count pretty quickly – the dog following her not long after that. Which left Peter and Tony with the illusion of some time alone together. Tony put on one of the movies within reach, which turned out to be Wreck It Ralph, and joined the other on the couch. A part of him hoped the choice of movie wouldn’t matter – there were other, better things they could be doing.

Other than the little chuckle when the menu popped up, Peter said nothing about what flashed across the tv screen. Tony settled into the couch the same way he did earlier on the bench, with his arm across the back of the chair. Peter didn’t beat around the bush, though – he settled into the warmth of Tony’s side, the intoxicating smell of his curly locks apparent now that they were so close. With a soft breath, Tony wrapped his arm around Peter, his lips pressing against his forehead.

“Thanks for hanging out today. I haven’t had this much fun in a while,” Tony whispered, his lips still pressed against Peter’s skin. And that was the total truth – Tony couldn’t remember the last time he enjoyed himself so much – when his happiness did not depend solely on Morgan and how she was feeling. In a moment of clarity, he thought about how much pressure that was for such a young kid. Well, then.

Shaking his head, he pulled a little until Peter was pressed flush against his chest – his enjoyment of the non-sexual connection something new and exciting. He recalled the word intimacy and wondered if that’s what he was experiencing in that very moment. A hand came up to cup his cheek, Peter shifting until he could see Tony over his shoulder.

“Thanks for having me. You seem to be a very good man, Tony Stark,” Peter said in answer a couple minutes later, the two of them trying to soak up the closeness – Tony desperate for whatever he could get of it.

Though the angle was weird, Tony leaned forward and pressed his lips against Peter’s, the hand on his cheek grasping a little tighter. Peter responded to him immediately, his lips melding to Tony’s in a way that sucked the oxygen right from him. Pulling away slowly, Tony blinked his eyes open – the world looking a little bit different when he did. He never believed all the cliché bull shit about love at first sight, but there was something about this feeling – Tony might find himself becoming a believer, after all.

Peter’s smile had him pressing in again, the touch chaste – just enough for Tony to remember the feeling, the more exposure he got, the better the memory would be. The other man tried to turn in his arms, but the patter of little feet on the floor outside of the room stopped him. If this were any other time, he would have jumped off the couch – guilt written in his expression. Instead, Tony and Peter shifted a little until they were merely sitting next to each other – the older man’s arm draped casually along the back of the couch.

The click of nails followed the noisy footsteps and soon they were joined by Morgan and Gracey – the little girl settling herself on Tony’s lap. She looked between the two of them and then back at the screen – her brown eyes wide. “You’re not supposed to watch Ralph without me, daddy. You too, Peter,” she sounded exasperated – like they were really testing her patience.

By the end of the movie, both Morgan and Peter were passed out against him, the soft snores fluttering the sleeve of his shirt making it hard to move. He shifted a little, intent on putting Morgan to bed for a little while longer and letting Peter sleep his nap out.

The second he moved, though, Peter blinked awake, the sleepiness so apparent on his face utterly adorable. “Damn, I missed the end. I love the Mentos volcano he makes,” Peter mumbled, his body shifting to sit up, the heat of it against Tony’s side immediately missed. “I should probably get going. I have twenty construction paper projects I need to cut out before Monday.”

Tony grinned, the normalcy that Peter treated him with the best of the new feelings he’d been experiencing. Peter was somebody he could merely share life with – the idea a little dizzying. He held up a finger and got up off the couch. “Let me get Morgan into bed and I’ll walk you out.”

It didn’t take long to get Morgan tucked into her bed, the movie she’d been watching earlier started over, so he lowered the volume and walked back out into the living room. Peter was squatted down next to Gracey, his hands running over her head. He straightened up when he noticed Tony coming back into the room, the look on his face soft.

“Thanks again, Tony. I had an amazing time.” Peter took the last few steps to narrow the distance between them, one of his arms wrapping around Tony’s shoulders.

Following suit, Tony got both his arms around Peter’s waist and pulled him closer, their lips finding each other without much thought. Though he craved a deeper toucher, Tony kept the pass of their lips stay tame, teasing – just on the right side of intimate. When he pulled away, Tony leaned his forehead against Peter’s for a second, a long breath being drawn into his lungs.

“Me too. Can we do it again? I’ll be back on my own during the week, I’d love to take you out.” Tony’s words sounded confident, but nervousness ran through him – no matter how often he’d done this with women, it was completely different with a man, this man particularly. He felt a little out of his depth, and ultimately – scared out of his fucking mind. An answer came in the way of long fingers running through his hair and a gooey smile, Peter’s eyes gleaming.

----

And so it went for a while. Morgan went home the very next morning, Pepper was grateful and offered to let him pick her up a little more often from school – to which Tony readily agreed. Spending all of his time with her this week made Tony realize just how much he missed her, how important making sure he was there actually was to him. No more missing Friday afternoon pick-ups – no matter how cool the shit in the lab ended up being. Before she left, Pepper pressed a kiss to his cheek – her voice soft when she spoke. “You look happier. Whatever you’re doing, keep it up.”

He knew he didn’t need permission from her, but it felt a lot better to open his life to Peter with Pepper’s insistence that he allowed himself to be happy. In the 10 years they’d been together, Tony talked to Pepper about his true wants and feelings a grand total of two times. She never judged and gave him more than any sound human probably would have. Maybe that’s why it felt so monumental – her blessing, because out of all the people in his life, she knew the one piece of him he never wanted to share before. It didn’t color her opinion of him one bit.

Getting back into the flow of dating didn’t take any work at all – with Peter by his side, it felt like he’d known the man for most of his life. He was easy to talk to, fun to be around, and filled to the brim with ideas and wants. Every time they spoke, it felt like he learned something new and for a person like Tony, that was quite the feat. Their knowledge base and experiences were vastly different – but the ability to give and take was not. Tony hung on every one of Peter’s words, simply because wanted to and he knew Peter did the same when he spoke.

Their dates started out small, little places that wouldn’t attract much attention, despite the fact that Tony Stark was there and buying their food. It’d been a while since his divorce from Pepper, so the media attention seemed to have dulled considerably. Though there was no anonymity, Tony didn’t have to hide Peter too much. He was ready to take the necessary steps to be in a relationship, to let the world in on a little piece of him he’d been keeping to himself – he just wanted it to happen on his own terms.

When Tony wasn’t feeling adventurous and wanted to spend quality time with Peter, they camped out in the penthouse and cooked together, or ordered from the little Thai place the younger man preferred. In the bubble of elegant simplicity, Tony flourished. It was easy to be with Peter, to function around another human that was not only a good person, but one he found himself undeniable attracted to. The happiness he felt was the pure kind – the stuff he didn’t think he’d ever allow himself.

On the days Tony had Morgan, they went out and did some of the adventures that Peter always talked about. Morgan and Gracey were the best of friends by that point – the girls were always together whenever Peter graced them with the dog’s presence. There were many Friday evenings spent in the living room of the Stark residence with Morgan and Gracey cuddled together in the little sleeping bag, fast asleep. He always felt the best when they were all together – Peter was the perfect person to oppose his laid-back way of parenting and adored Morgan almost as much as he did.

They jumped the Pepper hurdle one Sunday when she walked in to pick up Morgan. Tony and Peter were still sitting at the small table in the kitchen, coffee cups in their hands. The little girl barreled into the room with fresh teeth and a bow they managed to wrangle into her hair just moments earlier. “Hi, mommy,” Morgan greeted her, the little voice breaking the silence.

Pepper leaned down and said something to Morgan, the little girl nodding and running back out of the room – the promise of Steve and his iPad more enticing than anything the group of grown-ups had to say.

“So, you’re the Peter she’s always mentioning. It all makes sense now. No wonder you like picking her up all of the sudden, Tony,” Pepper pointed out, her hand squeezing Tony’s shoulder lightly. “Her stories are always filled with so much joy. If you’re happy, I’m happy.” She looked between them, then kept her gaze steadily on Tony. “Don’t fuck this up, Stark. He’s one of the best teachers in the city.”

The real challenge came when a picture finally got out with Tony and Peter in a less than innocent encounter – the reality of what they were to each other so very obvious in the snap the photographer was able to get. Pepper sent it to him about an hour before it went public, her plan of action for the news and what might happen attached to the ‘Sorry it happened this way’ that started the message. It was a little gutting, seeing he felt to be so precious out in the open like that – like it was something to be picked apart and discussed. It came with the territory, though – no matter what happened in his life, everyone wanted to catch a glance at it.

“At least they’re not trying to call you a playboy, anymore,” Peter joked when he saw him later, the man’s arms around him, his bony chin digging into Tony’s shoulder. “And it is a nice picture.”

Tony leaned into the embrace, a soft chuckle falling from his lips. It was a nice picture – he begrudgingly had to admit it. They were walking out of Eleven Madison Park, Tony’s arm wrapped around Peter’s shoulder, Peter’s arm wrapped around Tony’s waist. Tony’s head was turned, and his lips were pressed to the mess of hair on top of Peter’s head. The smile on his face could be read as nothing other than sheer affection – even love. There wasn’t a single feeling of shame in his body – just a bit of disappointment that he didn’t get to show Peter off in his own way. The speculation about him would be whatever it was – at this point, it didn’t matter.

Spending so many years locked away in a glass case of self-denial felt like punishment enough – he could take whatever the media had to throw his way. The Stark name held up so many things throughout the world, he doubted Tony Stark having a husband instead of a wife would change that too much. “Yeah, it is. I hope you’re ready for this. It’s going to be a circus for a little while.”

Admitting it made the reality of it settle in, the thought of just how much things would change for them for a little while daunting – almost enough to send him back into the dark, tail between his legs. The tight squeeze he got kept him in check, Peter’s voice grounding as it surrounded him. “I think it’ll be alright. They’ll get tired of how boring we are together eventually,” Peter muttered, the words pulling a laugh out of them both.

“Thanks for being here, Peter,” Tony whispered, leaning back into the other’s embrace.

“You couldn’t keep me away.”

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