#nonbinary horror

[apebellica]

WALKING Vol. 3/3

A non-binary collective zine about liminal spaces

Floors upon floors of empty corridors, incongruent spaces stacked on narrow, wide, long rooms. Warehouses. Strange windows. This is an hotel. Collective and dissonant. Timeless, in a labyrinth of non-existence.

Open the Door, what do you see? You enter a house, Is it your house? You are not sure. You peek behind another door. Childish dolls, blurry shapes, strange entities you saw in your dreams suddenly appear.

This zine is a collection of non-places, a hotel hosting the weird; the horror; the uncanny.

Behind this threshold you will explore strange happenings and distorted scenarios through the eyes of non-binary folks & queer creatures.

Ready to get lost in the backrooms? 

This zine features 33 different artists

You can read it for free here

[petercushingscheekbones]

neil gaiman and RTD are absolute legends for being the showrunners of 2 mainstream shows funded by large production companies in the year 2023, and proceeding to make the most queer positive episodes ever seen by man

meanwhile david tennant is just vibrating with joy because he gets more opportunities to wear his one-thousand-and-twenty-four pride pins

[tampire]

Filth / Horror / Glamour

[kitschky-moved]

standing over the bathroom sink like a dishevelled male protagonist, staring in the mirror and repeating “there is still time” over and over

also mr melancholy is kinda tumblr sexyman coded right?

[ulteri0rm0tives]

It's actually so heartbreaking that in the temperance ending Johnny just.. leaves. Gets all these calls, maybe even texts, from people who don't know the extent of what happened. Who are accusing him, that are mad at him. Especially in the frame of reference that this was V's last wish. That it was V who gave the body up. That it was V who wanted this, wanted to save Johnny, Johnny essentially powerless to stop them ('just scared for ya').

And the thing is.. Johnny just lets everyone. Lets them make their own conclusions, lets them be mad at him. Lets them blame him. Lets them think, that after the love of his life the person who's ever wholly understood or cared about him the most like no other ever could had 'died', that it's his fault, that he could do that to them... Or just lets them think the worst of V as their final lasting impression or mark on this world. Doesn't try to defend himself nor V. He just leaves. Just takes it.

And you would think. You would think the one he would at least tell is Kerry. That the one to actually understand the most would be Kerry. I don't think any of the other love interests could get the whole engram situation like him, they don't have that personal history or connection to the code on the relic like he did after all. Kerry knew Johnny. Enough at least. But Johnny doesn't tell him, and Kerry just thinks V ghosted off on him and Johnny just lets him think that. And it just makes you wonder.. why would Johnny do that? Why would he do any of this?

[maveras-posts]

🤡ART IN BED🥵

Art in bed would include:

Ok for starters…A JACK RABBIT

This man can do the deed five times a day

Contrary to belief although he can be selfish in bed, he also will want his partner to feel pleased so expect not to walk ✨WhEeLChAiR MoDe✨

TOYS anything you can think of he has

Art has a collection of toys you could only find in Davy Jones’s locker(It is outrageous)

Ropes, whips and every other dastardly object you could think of 🎶Chains and WHiPs ExCitE MEeEe💃

Expect to wake up with head and go to sleep with some head (Think about facepaint spread all over your inner thighs)

This man ✨EATS✨ like a demon man frfr what that tongue do tho?ALOT—

His aftercare is also very top tier, he’ll stay with you until you fall asleep (He don’t ever sleep tbh)

Art is all about quickies too, he’ll fuck you anywhere a chance presents itself

But the damn horn will go with him everywhere INCLUDING the bedroom 🥲

I swear you’ll be laying down post fucking and you’ll hear the ✨HONK✨ in your ear😭

He’ll try everything and anything as well, this man is truly a wildcard

ANYTHING you wanna try he’ll be apart of👀

For AfAB: Be prepared if your on your period he’ll wanna fuck you even more (I swear the man smells blood like a damn shark 🦈)

All in all he’s a FREAK but you’ll never be dissatisfied that’s for shore💅😜

[femfirehazard]

make a mess of me 🔪

🖤💀💋

fuck this is supposed to be a tummy Tuesday post☠️

At least I'm back being a hazard again right? 🖤💀💋😘

[transbookoftheday]

Trans Horror Podcasts

My post about trans horror books last year was much more popular than I expected, and since I've recently fallen in love with fiction podcasts and audio dramas, I thought I'd make a post about trans horror podcasts as well.

If you like trans horror, please give these a try - especially if you enjoy listening to audiobooks!

Hello From The Hallowoods:

Come walk between the black pines! In this award-winning queer fiction podcast, an eldritch narrator follows the increasingly connected residents of the forest at the end of the world. It's a bittersweet story that explores queer identity, horror genre tropes, and finding hope in humanity's last moments.

Hello From The Hallowoods is my absolute favorite podcast! If you only listen to one podcast from this list, please make it this one - it's so beautifully written and super queer! Also: season 4 starts today!

Trans main characters include:

our nonbinary eye-affiliated podcast host

a nonbinary "Frankenstein's creature"

a transmasc ghost

a genderfluid storm witch

a trans woman who can visit other people's dreams

multiple characters using neopronouns

Camp Here & There:

Good morning, campers! Camp Here & There is a weekly horror comedy podcast tuned in to the loudspeakers of a small midwestern sleepaway camp plagued by supernatural terrors and natural disasters. Sydney Sargent, resident camp nurse, cheerfully reports on all the terror we must face with a big smile. Let’s hope there’s nothing weird about that!

Sydney is a trans man.

Dos: After You:

Things have changed. Deck has fallen in love with someone who isn't human, and leaves a hungry house behind to see him again. Will he be waiting for you? The world has changed… but what about him? Dos: After You is a queer urban fantasy/horror audiodrama available in both English & Spanish

Deck is a trans man.

Jar of Rebuke:

Follow Dr. Jared Hel's journey as he works to re-discover his forgotten past and finds his place within the small Indiana farm town of Wichton and the cryptozoological organization he works for called 'The Enclosure'. These audio journals, and other recordings, dive deep into Midwestern US cryptids and folklore while also telling a mystery about identity, queerness, neurodivergence, and community.

Jared is nonbinary.

Spirit Box Radio:

Spirit Box Radio is an award winning, horror audio drama podcast about a radio show for enthusiasts of all things arcane. Follow Sam Enfield a former postboy with no experience in the arcane arts, who finds themselves forced to take over running the show, following the disappearance of the previous host. Sam soon discovers there are more than ghosts haunting the show, and finds himself amidst a mystery which threatens everything he knows about the world beyond his tiny basement broadcast studio, and maybe even himself.

Sam is a trans man.

The Silt Verses:

Carpenter and Faulkner, two worshippers of an outlawed god, travel up the length of their deity’s great black river, searching for holy revelations amongst the reeds and the wetlands. As their pilgrimage lengthens and the river’s mysteries deepen, the two acolytes find themselves under threat from a police manhunt, but also come into conflict with the weirder gods that have flourished in these forgotten rural territories. This is a world where divine intervention takes place through prayer-markings scratched into stumping-posts, and offerings are left squirming to die in the flats of the delta. This is a world of ritual, and hidden language, and sacrifice. This is folk horror, and fantasy, and a dark road trip into the depths of unusual faith.

Faulkner is a trans man and Paige is a trans woman.

The Magnus Protocol:

The Magnus Archives 2: The Magnus Protocol is the prequel/sequel/”sidequel” to the internationally renowned Magnus Archives podcast. The Magnus Institute was an organisation dedicated to academic research into the esoteric and the paranormal, based out of Manchester, England. It burned to the ground in 1999. There were no survivors. Now, almost 25 years later, Alice and Sam, a pair of low-level civil service workers at the underfunded Office of Incident Assessment and Response, have stumbled across its legacy. A legacy that will put them in grave danger. If this intrigues you then it is our pleasure to welcome you to the Office of Incident, Assessment and Response. Make sure you pick up your badge at desk and report to your line manager before sitting down. Oh and stay away from I.T., seriously.

Alice is a trans woman.

[apebellica]

Last night I finally watched I saw the TV glow and, in a very short amount of time, It has become one of those movies that makes me both want to rewatch It over and over again and simultaneously pill my skin off. This movie has quikly became one of my favorites, hands down. But! It's so intense and terrifying and dense that I think I need time to fully digest it.

Right now I can only say that I have never seen something like this (ok, maybe yes if we count We are all going to the world's fair, Jane Schoenbrun's first film), I never consumed a media SO damn dysphoric. You can feel it, clearly. It's in the cinematography, in the script, in the lighting, this sense of incongruity, this feeling of "there's something wrong, something doesn't add up, life shouldn't be this way". It's insane how a viewing like that satisfied a deep desire inside of me and incredibly shook me at the same time. Themes such as isolation, nostalgia, escapism, dissociation and the fear of not being able to distinguish what is truly real are brought to the screen with an imagery so extraordinarily beautiful in all its horror that I really don't know what to say other than ... wow. The more I think about it, the more I feel understood by this film. It's a strangely thrilling and exhilarating experience. This movie, among other things, like I said erlier in this post, is about dysphoria. The type of dysphoria we feel pre coming out (to ourself and to others), before realising this is why we feel this way, before accepting it and before deciding what we want to do in terms of transizioning.

I think the final scene, above all, while extremely disturbing, is a perfect representation of that realization: it pictures the panic, the fear associated with it. The protagonist sees something they cannot unsee and, at this point, you can never look back.

Don't mistake me, being trans, being non-binary is beautiful (I absolutely don't want to be cis) but sometimes it feels like that, like in that final scene, when you can't breathe and all you want is to scream. When you feel distant from other people, not understood and, all you want to do, is to open yourself up.

So yeah... This are my 2.00 AM toughts on I saw the TV glow.

The only thing I can say right now is that I need to rewatch this movie multiple times.

Aaaaand if you have toughts on this movie or you want to discuss It let me know!

PS: plz forgive me if the english is weird, It's not my first language O⁠_⁠o

[whereserpentswalk]

Imagine slowly becoming nonhuman. Something ancient and alien is infecting you, slowly replacing your tissue. You've been told that there are some treatments to keep more of your humanity for longer, but you'll lose it eventually nomatter what.

Every day you feel it slowly spreading throughout you. Slowly taking bits and pieces of you and replacing them with this alien biomechanical body. At first people act like you're going to die, but you realize you're not going to die. Mabye it would be easier if you did.

You lose things internally at first. Your mind starts working slightly differently. Then you eat for the last time. Sleep for the last time. Make love for the last time. You slowly lose these parts of you. There's a point in time when you can't pass for human without wearing clothing on most of your body, and then eventually you can only pass at night, and then not at all.

Your freinds started out supportive but mournful. But some of them tended to get more and more uncomfortable around you as you kept getting less and less human. Some stayed with you of course, but some seem more distant now, and others seem to not want to interact at all.

The more you become comfortable in your new body, and deal with it better, the more other people seem to be mourning you as if you were dead. Your family doesn't even want to talk to you anymore. It feels like everyone acts like it would have been far more convenient if the transformation killed you. If they could mourn you in peace.

Your new body feels so strange. You're mostly covered in a metalic shell now, with little bits of flesh between the gaps. Your build is slender and sexless now, your legs have three sets of joints like a predatory animal, your face looks like a strange reflection of a gas mask. The only thing that remains of your old body is long black hair flowing from your head. For whatever reason you don't mind the change. You think so differently now then you used to, you feel like a diffrent person, but it's hard to think of it as bad, it's who you are, and you can't bring yourself to hate you.

Eventually you run into someone who was your girlfriend back when you were human. You realize it's been awhile since you've talked to her. You have new freinds now, people who are like you or who are used to people like you. You realize she could never be your girlfriend again, but she could still be your freind. You talk to her a bit, and she seems to like you this way, she hugs you, it feels so warm with how cold your new body is, you didn't expect her to want to hug this version of you.

[ofcrowsanddragons]

The next chapter of my Rookanis fic, A Working Relationship:

Secret identities. Demons. A few short weeks to stop a slaughter in Minrathous.

Mags de Riva fucked up while succeeding on a contract. One of the other Talons is out for blood.

Viago finds himself in the unenviable position of needing to send Mags on a contract that's designed to get them killed. And the unenviable position of asking someone that he doesn't fully trust (Lucanis Dellamorte) for help in keeping Mags alive.

Lucanis is only thinking of fulfilling a favour to the Fifth Talon when he agrees not to tell Viago's young Crow that he's the First Talon's grandson. He doesn't know that Mags is hiding a much bigger secret.

The two Crows know they're hunting demons... but which demons are already haunting them?

Latest Chapter Start with Chapter 1

In the latest chapter of A Working Relationship:

“It's not a spell I've seen before,” said Luca. “Not in that particular form.” And he would have seen a lot of them, was the mage-killer’s underlying message. “Here,” I said, gesturing with my hand over the table. “Hold out your hand with the chain.” I was lucky to be working with someone who wasn't particularly afraid of magic, although I had the feeling that to him, being afraid of magic would have been like being afraid of a blade in the dark. There's little purpose in fearing something that defines your life. (link)

[crumblinggothicarchitecture]

Y'all wanna know about a gender-non-conforming knight from 13th century France? No? That's okay- I'm fine with talking to myself.

I'm obsessed with gender performativity in early medieval texts- so obviously I had to know everything about Le Roman De Silence.

To preface-

So, long before there was the Marvel Cinematic Universe- there was the interconnected works of the Arthurian Legends. The original superheroes- King Arthur, Merlin, Morganna le Fey, and the rest of the cast. However, one of the lesser known (only arguably canonical) interconnected texts of the Arthurian legend hails from France. People argue over whether or not to include these texts as part of the cannon of King Arthur because it's technically french- and the french-english divide between characterization of all the main players of Arthur's court is remarkably different. Much research on this suggests the discrepancy of characterization is largely due to distance between where the stories originate, and sociopolitical tensions between the French and the English. Either people were too far apart to share stories- thus too far apart to keep characterization uniform, or they fucking hated each other enough to mess up the characterization on purpose. For example, many of the French portrayals of King Arthur paint him to be a rather terrible person, where English portrayals are generally more kind to him.

All that aside- many people will disagree that Le Roman de Silence should even be part of the Arthurian legend canon anyway- because it only mentions Merlin at the end of the poem and because it's a super french poem.

The main storyline is about this character named Silence. From the Old French Poem- Le Roman de Silence.

Gender? No- Never heard of it.

The latter half of the story in this poem is predicated on a complex mediation of Nature vs Nurture. What happens is that a baby is born into a wealthy family, and for sociopolitical reasons, the family decides to raise the girl baby as a boy. They name this child "silence." Silence grows up with full access to an education, as was typical for the boy children of aristocratic medieval families- this education becomes important later as Silence wrestle with where they fit into the larger social structure after maturing into adulthood. Essentially, they find the idea of marriage too boring and would like to be a Knight or Explorer instead. (I love them.) Anyway, it's fascinating to me that the conceptual ideas of nature and nurture are personified into being something like "deities" which are overseeing the growth of Silence through the ages- and so we get these deities commentary.

Silence wants to be a knight- so Nurture brags about being right that gender is more performative than it is biological. Then, later Silence grows up to be remarkably "pretty" and according to the deity of Nature- they brag about being right that biology and gender are intrinsically tied. It's such a thought-provoking mediation on gender as either performance or pure biology that I forget it was written in the 13th century- long before Freud or Lacan or any of the others who became hyper fixated on human presumption of gender as either a social category or a biological necessity.

I argued in a paper, once, that the narrative itself does actually finally end on the note that Gender is a performance, and it is tied into social roles only so the ruling class can have control of the population. That is why the stories ending shifts into horror-genre-esque of Silence marrying into the upper-ruling class.

I also have a strong urge to write a Fanfiction of Silence as a knight- who does not meet a sad fate but rather lives happily as a knight and eventually marries a princess. Okay- Okay? fine I said it. I said it-

Social pressure to marry?

The story takes a dark turn, however- when the King demands Silence to reveal themselves in front of the court. Obviously, even the author of the story was aware that misogynistic social standards would not allow for people to ever really be free of gender stereotypes and roles. So, Silence is then forced out of the adventurous lifestyle of a knight and into a marriage. Also, this is the place in the story where Merlin makes an appearance (I have a theory that Merlin is representative of the devil, and the author really hated that all AFAB people were forced into marriage back in 1200's. So that's why the devil shows up when all the bad shit is happening to Silence).

Inevitability and dismay-

What I find particularly interesting about this poem is the fact that the end, as Silence is forced into marriage and back into "proper" social roles for their assumed biological characteristics, is the fact that it is written like an early attempt at gothic horror!

So, one of the stipulations for something being a "gothic horror" is 1.) old, archaic, twisted buildings. (this blog is indeed named after my fixation with gothic horror elements, it's interplay relation to social reform, as its emphasis on decay as the tonal necessity for social indemnification). Anyway, the other most important aspect of gothic horror- is an overwhelming sense of desolation, isolation, and loneliness.

Sure, Silence is forced into marriage- but even with the forthright writing style of the author, we, as readers, are struck by Silence's loneliness. Thus, the "happily ever after" part of the storyline wherein the characters get married, as it traditional to chivalric romance, is recriminated against in subtext. Now, we have a moment in which the "happily ever after" is a creation of horror rather than peace.

Ending the narrative with marriage as equivalent to a loss of freedom and a sense of evermore-present loneliness, cumulating in the edifice of horror-struck fear in Silence at their own new future, is a remarkably bold social statement coming from a 13th century author.

I just think it's a really interesting text on the thematic points of negotiating Gender identity, in broader terms of performance and social roles, as much as it is a critique on the total social control that the monarchy held over the people of 13th century France.

Edit: I need to add that Silence themselves consistently rejects the idea that they are AFAB and instead only ever refers to themselves as "Silence" or "the knight"

[maveras-posts]

Being Arts ✨Significant Other✨

The Poll showed an overwhelming support for Art Headcanons so come get your juice ya simps. I never see much on our boi so…LETS CHANGE THAT—

The lovely Tags: @michaelmyers-isdaddy @slasherholic @slasherfxcker @arttheclown-coveredinblood @slasherhaven @strange-and-unappealing @uhh-hi03 @kber2424 @local-caffeine @dem0nic-symph0ny-19 @midnightwritersblock

🤡Art the Clown Relationship Headcanons🖤:

FIRST— ATTITUDE 🙄🤌

Art is Pan and honestly could give two F’s about how you look

You intrigued him in some way

Most likely loved his act or giggled at him…

He is a slut for a strong willed person

At the end of the day he gets his way but breaking down a hard headed person gets him ✨OFF✨ (He is not afraid of the Goth Baddies)

Very protective and possessive (Smothering energy)

Won’t admit it but he needs reassurance you love him and won’t leave him

I mean if you tired he would mostly have you and anyone he blames ✨ReMovEd✨

Art mostly loves to make you laugh, even without speaking🤡

This man is mostly, if not ALWAYS in your personal space

What’s yours is ✨MINES✨

Touch is his major love language

Art is also one to pick someone smaller than him (Lil shit loves it because it makes him “useful”)

For the love of all HUMANITY—WATCH.HIM.AROUND.ANYTHING FLAMMABLE. Trust me…

Also don’t let him around duct tape he makes really cool stuff don’t get me wrong but he abuses the power of the tape😭

He shares all of his trash bag candy with you (YOU GOTTA BE VERY SPECIAL)

You will also be put before him or anyone else

GIFTS are also a must, cheap or expensive he’ll get it for you ✨BorrOWED✨ if ykyk

When he misses you sometimes he honks his horn😭

He’s gonna hurt or k!ll ANYONE who even inconveniences you, he is like oh so they cut you off let me cut them off (ART MY GOD NO—)

Contrary to belief he is actually very gentle with you, you’re like glass to him (He’s not this way with anything or anyone)

In the rankings he is definitely one of the top slashers to be s/o YES he can be toxic but once he loves you (in a sick way) he is not gonna leave your side and will try to make you happy😭✋

Hey Yall I hope you’re all well! I have begun my headcanons for our clown of the hour ART. As always suggestions and requests are open! I’m thinking of getting more into the smutty and NSFW Headcanons for the slashers, input would be most appreciated for this as always thanks for reading and I’ll spook ya later!

-Mavera

[apebellica]

WAITING vol. 2/3

A non-binary collective zine about liminal spaces

Floors upon floors of empty corridors, incongruent spaces stacked on narrow, wide, long rooms. Warehouses. Strange windows. This is an hotel. Collective and dissonant. Timeless, in a labyrinth of non-existence. Open the Door, what do you see? You enter a house, Is it your house? You are not sure. You peek behind another door. Childish dolls, blurry shapes, strange entities you saw in your dreams suddenly appear.

This zine is a collection of non-places, a hotel hosting the weird; the horror; the uncanny.

Behind this threshold you will explore strange happenings and distorted scenarios through the eyes of non-binary folks & queer creatures.

Ready to get lost in the backrooms? 

This project features 33 different artists

You can download it for free here

Other info on my insta @apebellica

[andillwriteyouatragedy]

only one more month until my next book, LABYRINTHINE SELF, is released on february 21st, 2025!

and i might explode from excitement in the next thirty-one days, to be honest 💥