#not a sign that the dog is being an ass or is bad at learning

[healingheartdogs]

If a dog is not able to understand something you are teaching them (whether it's because you're moving too fast, your communication needs works, you aren't breaking what you're teaching down enough, whatever) and you correct them for making a mistake during that learning process they are also not going to understand why they are being corrected. You will only be adding stress to an already stressful situation.

[jamespotterismydaddy]

Lessons in his Chambers

aegon x reader smut (pt 2 of lessons in the gardens pt 3 here)

TW: smut!!, oral sex, corruption kink, spanking, incest, throat fucking(ish), dacryphilia

word count: 1,589

Perhaps it is a sign from the gods that I shouldn’t be here. You think to yourself as you sit quietly on an armchair in Aegon’s chambers, waiting for him to return home. It is late, very late and you should really be in bed but the ache between your thighs is too strong to handle. The tingling sensation has appeared again and again, growing more prominent each time you think about that afternoon in the gardens three days ago. You squirm in your chair and rub your legs together to try and relieve the sensation but it's to no avail as you wait impatiently for his return.

He may stay out all night. I should just go. You stand up, feeling a bit silly and embarrassed that you waited for so long. At this point, your fatigue is beginning to overcome your desire.

That's when he slams open his chamber door.

“Fuck off Erryk. You’re being fucking dramatic.” He slams the door closed behind him. You suppose that he has been out drinking all night but he does seem to have sobered up on the carriage ride home.

He rubs his temples, grumbling before finally noticing you.

“I’m sorry… you seem upset. I should go.” You try to scurry past him but he firmly grabs you by the arm.

“My little dove.” He raises his other hand to tuck some hair behind your ear. “I think that seeing you is just what I needed today.”

“Really?” You ask, a shy smile gracing your features.

“Oh yes but I don’t think you’re here by accident. Do you need Uncle Aegon’s attention?” He teases you and mocks your pouty face.

“You said to come see you if I got that tingly feeling. I know I shouldn’t have been trying to bother you so late and I tried to take care of it myself but-.” He cuts off your rambling.

“Take care of it yourself?” His eyes are cold and you realize that you may have done something wrong.

“Y-yes.” You look down so that you don’t have to meet his gaze.

“What did I tell you to do when you got that feeling?” He asks scoldingly.

“You said I should come see you but I-” He puts a finger to your lips.

“I don’t need to hear your explanation, little dove.” He shakes his head. “My silly little girl, trying to handle it herself… Do you know what happens when little girls are naughty?” He looks at you quizzingly. “They need to be punished to make sure that they learn their lesson.” He tilts your head up so that you have to look at him. You pout.

“But I won’t ever do it again, I promise!”

“I don’t know if I believe you… Perhaps if I spanked you, you’d learn to come see your uncle whenever you get that tingly feeling, hm?”

“A spanking? But i’m a princess!” You whine a little, giving him your best puppy dog eyes.

“Don’t give me that look. I think your uncle has to make your bottom red and sore for being naughty.” He turns you around and removes your cloak, dropping it to the floor which leaves you in your nightgown. He walks over to his couch and sits down. He pats his lap. “Bend over my knee, baby.”

“I don’t wanna.” You look down at the ground, twiddling with your fingers.

“Don’t make me come get you or you’ll get a real spanking and not a play one.” He threatens and so you hesitantly walk over to him and lay yourself over his lap. He takes his time as he pulls your nightgown up and rubs his hand over your ass.

“Why aren’t you wearing any undergarments?” He looks happily surprised by your lack of modesty.

“They went missing last time we ‘played’, uncle.” You say, your cheeks burning.

“What a bad girl you are. What kind of princess comes to her uncle's room so late at night without her small clothes on?” He gives a little swat to your ass and you flinch.

“I’m sorry.” You whine a little as he gives you another smack.

“You know… I don’t think you are.” Another harsher swat this time as your bottom gains a rosy hue. “I think that you like this.” 

“No I don’t!” You lie, squirming at the next smack. 

“Really? Let's check.” He spreads your thighs and runs his fingers through your folds. He then puts a finger inside of you, an impish grin falling upon his face at the squelching noise. “A liar and a whore.”

“I’m not a… whore.” You whimper as he curls his fingers.

“Oh i’m sorry, my sweet niece. Of course you aren’t.” He coos, taking his fingers out of you which causes you to whine. “Take off that nightgown and kneel in front of your uncle.” He says softly and you rise to your feet, your legs shaking a bit as you drop the nightgown to the floor. “What a pretty girl you are.” He gives a little pinch to your nipple.

“Ow.” You yelp.

“I said on your knees.” You obey quickly and his eyes glaze over at the sight of his naked little niece on her knees in front of him. You look up at him nervously as he gestures at his trousers.

“I don’t know what to do.” You chew on your cheek.

“Sometimes I forget how innocent you are.” He lifts his fingers to your lips, which are still dripping with your arousal. “Here, we’ll practice first. Open up, baby.” You open up your mouth and he pushes his fingers in. “Suck.” 

You do as he bids and suck your arousal off of his fingers.

“Watch the teeth. You don’t want to be doing that when those pretty soft lips are wrapped around my cock.” Your eyes widen a bit but you avoid letting your teeth graze his fingers. “Good girl.” He takes his fingers out of your mouth. “C’mon, baby, you know what to do now. I’m not gonna help you anymore, you have to make it up to me for being so naughty.”

You unbutton his trousers and take out his thick cock. You give it a lick.

“Don’t tease me.”

“Sorry.” You say timidly.

You take his dick into your mouth, gagging a bit as it touches the back of your throat. He lets out a low groan.

“Use your hands to help if you can’t take it all.” He advises.

You bring your hand up to stroke the base of his cock as you begin to bob your head. You find yourself pleased by the soft moans he makes. His hand finds your hair, gripping it tightly.

“You’re such a good girl.” You moan against his cock at his praise and unconsciously start grinding yourself against his shoe. He begins to guide you to move faster, his hand in your hair forcing you to pick up your pace. Your eyes well up with tears as he hits the back of your throat.

“You’re doing so good. Taking your uncle’s cock so well down that pretty throat.” He looks down and sees how you’re rolling your hips. “Are you fucking yourself on my shoe, little princess.” You let out a muffled whine. “Dirty girl.”

The sight of your tears as you gag on his cock is enough to send him over the edge as he shoots thick spurts of cum into your mouth. He tugs your hair, pulling your mouth off of him. You look up at him, not sure what to do with the cum in your mouth.

“Swallow it.” He commands and he takes delight in how your face screws up as you do.

“It’s salty.” You scrunch up your nose.

“You don’t like it, baby?” You shrug. He laughs before tilting your head so press a soft kiss to your lips. You can smell the faint scent of alcohol on his breath and taste the copper flavour of his cracked lips as he tastes himself on yours. “You’ll get used to it… now you deserve a reward for being such a good girl. Switch spots with me.” You hop up with a smile, happily sitting in his spot as he takes his turn to kneel in front of you.

“You gonna touch my pearl again?” You ask hopefully.

“Oh yes, but you’re gonna like this even more.” He manoeuvres your legs so that they hang over his shoulders and he licks a long strip up your folds causing you to gasp. “Seven hells, this might be the sweetest cunt I have ever tasted.”

With that, he buries his head between your thighs. Your eyes roll back in your head as you put your hand down to grasp at his hair.

“O-Oh, Aegon…” You let out soft little whimpers as he suckles on your ‘pearl’, he takes pride in the fact that you can’t prevent yourself from moaning. You squirm away a little as he sticks his tongue inside of you and he slaps your thigh, looking up at you.

“Stay still.” He says, his mouth glistening with your arousal.

He gets back to work, lapping up all your juices as you get closer to your peak.

“I’m gonna… gonna.” Your orgasm crashes over you like waves over a rocky shore as the feeling of euphoria fills your body. Aegon presses a kiss to your thigh before looking up at you once again.

“Next time you get that tingly feeling, come straight to Uncle Aegon.”

taglist: @valeskafics @girlwith-thepearlearring

[tg-headcanons]

I like the idea of Kakuja/Half-Kakuja play fighting.

This entire idea happened because of a cute dream of Centipede and T-Owl getting caught play fighting on camera or something.

Opinions?

(plz ask abt the dream, I have it written down!)

[I also refer to Centipede as they/them (Genderfluid)]

YOUR BEAUTIFUL MIND IS SO CORRECT TELL ME YOUR DREAM

Ghouls are known for their violence and instinct to kill, but that same instinct is present when they’re having fun. Ghouls play fight, they need to play fight. Any time ghouls are friends they have that instinct to make eye contact and drop into a mock-pounce stance to signal its TIME. If you’re around a group of ghouls for even a few minutes inevitably some will be launching themselves at each other like cats

This happens for a few reasons, a lot of energy, overactive hunting instinct, the stress relief offered by wrestling and biting, and of course their biological need to be injured from time to time. Based on this headcanon from @just-another-tokyo-ghoul-fan (they are so very smart and cool with amazing ideas and they inspire me to write more please check them out), ghoul’s healing factor can get overactive and go overboard “healing” things that aren’t wrong if they don’t have minor injuries to work on from time to time, and the safe, controlled injury of play fighting is necessary for a ghoul to stay healthy. It’s the regenerative equivalent of rabbits chewing on wood to file down teeth that never stop growing

Most of the time it’s chasing, pouncing and small quick bites. Not enough to do real damage or leave scars like marriage bites, but enough to kick in the healing factor. The CCG often finds ghouls covered in small, shallow bites and reports it as a sign of constant fighting due to their violent territorial behavior, but in reality it just means that that ghoul has friends and was having a fun time

Kakujas, being both far more controlled by instinct and way more regenerative, NEED TO PLAY FIGHT SO BAD. In fact, one of the major factors of how well a kakuja transformation goes is whether or not they are having survivable fights to help them form better kakuja structures, learn how to use it, and get enough small injuries that their bodies redirect some rc to heal instead of forcing it all into the kakuhou

Even once fully formed, kakujas are very quick to drop into the play-stance at people and get twitchy without that comfortable method of controlled violence. With how often they’re shunned and feared by their communities, they sadly tend to have few or no people to spar with, and it’s a factor in their mental state. One of the reasons kakuja are so aggressive is that they don’t have non-lethal outlets for that energy and it stresses them even more

Ghouls in their full kakuja form, especially those that aren’t used to it yet, are almost like dogs in how they play. Being so lost in instinct may make them incredible fighters, but it also makes them downright ridiculous when playful. It’s all splaying limbs and flapping kagune structures and strange happy growls. It can be terrifying to watch kakujas playing because it looks so bloody and violent, but they’re having a great time. It’s enrichment that they need and benefits both their mental and physical states

You better BELIEVE Eto and Tatara were play fighting constantly when they were becoming kakujas. Renji had to come over daily to kick Uta’s ass while they were transforming. Now with kaneki becoming a kakuja, he’s going to need someone to playfully kick his ass too. Centipede vs the Owl? I’m imagining the monster equivalent of an overly hyper kitten being easily shoved down by a big dog and they’re having a great time

[prolix-yuy]

A Bearable Weight

Pairing: Javi Gutierrez x F!Reader

Summary: New Years Eve is the holiday of new beginnings, and you take a leap to see if Javi might be one of them.

Word Count: 3k

Story Warnings: T, plenty of sweetness, more ridiculousness because I can't help myself, some lightly spicy kisses. While this story is not explicit, my blog and the content shared on it is 18+ so MINORS DNI.

Notes: I had to get these two to New Years. They were just too cute to leave hanging. I hope each and every one of you reading this waves goodbye to anything that made your 2022 difficult and enters 2023 with open arms and excitement. Now let's see where the new year takes Javi and Conejita!

Cross-posted on AO3

The restaurant is smaller than you thought it might be, unassuming in a strip of businesses. The sign for it is understated, white lettering on a black rectangle with a thin gold border - Aperitif. You’ve been studying the sign, and the door below it, for well over ten minutes, the chill night air creeping up your bare legs. The new dress you bought for the occasion - black, tasteful but a little sexy, an amount you’re comfortable with - weaves around your knees when a breeze makes you shiver. You look down at your heels again, still torn between whether the glittery gold is too loud for your personality or loving that they make you feel festive. Your hair is styled, your makeup is perfect, everything is ready for you to go inside.

And you’re still rooted on the damn spot.

Javi texted you a few times since the first voice message. Every new phone alert made your heart jump, evolving to a flutter when it actually was from him. He sent you photos of his friends’ Christmas tree, their dog plopping her head in his lap, the snow outside a fogged up window. He also asked you things about yourself, some that you expected and others that made you stop and smile. 

What food will you eat if you’re having a bad day?

Best movies adapted from books?

Did your sister like the message?

Your sister did indeed, and after catching you grinning at your phone several times throughout the long weekend finally made you confess how you got it. Her elation over the serendipitous meeting was only eclipsed by your hesitation over seeing Javi again.

“Are you serious right now? Cute, funny, probably loaded, a dork, sweet, and definitely into you? I will drive you there and drop your ass on the sidewalk if you don’t do it yourself.”

So you accepted the invitation, which was accompanied by a string of excited texts filled with details and one that made you tingle from head to toe.

Thank you for accepting. I hope you will consider what I asked you in my first message. But only if you’re comfortable. I really like talking to you, no matter what.

A beat, then…

If you’d like to be mine, this year.

You did. Holy hell, you did. But you were also a classically trained overthinker, and the days leading up to New Years Eve were spent Googling and riding the rollercoaster of excitement and dread. The Gutierrez family had an online presence, and not all of it was good. Luckily it seemed like Javi wasn’t in the crosshairs, but the more you learned the more convinced you became that this was going to be a shitshow. Wealthy, influential, a lover of the arts and gorgeous in every photo you find, your hopes got buried a little deeper with each word.

He told you it was going to be a party, nothing large, but the idea of being in your department store dress among the elite of society made you want to cancel. Go out for coffee instead. Let yourself down gently when you realize how different your worlds are.

But then you find a voicemail - a missed call from Javi:

“Hi conejita, I hope all the texts have not been too much. I realize that you barely know me, and I am maybe moving a little too fast. I get…ah, well, I get excited. You have made me very excited, and I want to be, you know, ‘cool’ about it, but I am not so great at that. Anyways, I am…hah, yeah, excited to see you tomorrow. It will be a lot of fun. And, um…we don’t…I only want what you want, conejita. So let’s just…see where the night takes us. I know what I feel, but I…I only want you to…to know…agh! I am messing this all up. Sorry, this message is so long now. I’ll see you tomorrow. I’m…I’m really happy to see you tomorrow. Okay, bye.”

What’s the harm, you thought after listening to the message three times. If it’s terrible you never have to see him again.

Another breeze ripples over your skin, finally making you move towards the door.

And if it’s amazing?

You smile to yourself and enter the warmth of the restaurant.

Aperitif looked small from the exterior, and the interior is about what you expected. It could maybe seat 30 fully booked, but the dining room has been cleared out in favor of buffet servers against the walls, the ivory bar lined with champagne glasses and eager bartenders shaking cocktails. The handful of people chatting inside don’t look like heiresses or oil barons. Your shoulders relax a fraction.

“Name?” the man at the door asks, a short list in his hand. You give yours and are ushered in, a drink immediately put in your hand and a string of metallic gold beads tossed over your head by a waitress.

“Happy New Year!” she says, taking your coat. You slip into the crowd looking for the only person you came here for - Javi. But his caramel curls and exuberant laugh haven’t reached you yet.

“I love what they’ve done with the decorations!” a cheery voice exclaims over your shoulder. You look around, then up to see a delicate web of black and gold streamers holding balloons precariously above you. One single streamer hangs to the floor behind the bar, which an olive-skinned hand points to. “I think at midnight they pull that.” You turn to see the woman speaking to you, and she’s...normal-looking. Peppy brunette with a sharply cut bob, sparkling brown eyes, and a glittery top with black slacks. Maybe you had nothing to worry about.

“That’s fun, I haven’t been out on New Years in ages,” you say, taking a sip of champagne. The bubbles tickle your tongue pleasantly. It’s good, much better than any champagne you’ve had at parties.

“Oh then you’ve come to the perfect place! Who invited you?” she asks, finishing off her glass and placing it on a waiter’s tray as it floats by. 

“Javi,” you say, a little shyly. He mentioned that he was hosting it, but you had no clue who the other guests were. How long could you keep up the facade?

“Of course! How do you know him? I’m a long-lost cousin myself, been out of the loop for a while, but it’s nice to see him again.” She waits expectantly, and if you didn’t feel like throwing up before you definitely do now.

“Uhhh, we met…on a flight…” you start to say, working through how the hell you were going to explain the circumstances of your meeting to a stranger, when her eyes light up.

“Oh my GOD, it’s you!” she gasps, grabbing on to both your shoulders. “Javi told me about the girl on the plane on his way here. That story, the way he tells it, it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. And you’re here! Now! I have to find him, he’ll be so excited!” She squeezes your shoulders again with a little squeal before darting through the crowd, a nervous giggle smothered in your hand.

He told people about you. 

He told people about you in a way that made him sound happy.

You could burst, the light inside you is so expansive. 

You’re about to follow when a large palm circles your bicep, turning you gently around in the crowd.

“You came.”

Javi says it like a prayer, like he believed but never thought a miracle would grace him. His curls are swept back from his face in tantalizing waves. He’s in a gray blazer, a navy button-up with some abstract patterning hanging onto his broad chest for dear life. The top three buttons already gave up the fight, chest dewy with the humidity in the room. But it’s his face that melts your anxieties away. His eyes drape warmth over you, fondness in their depths that he only hinted at in his messages. His soft smile lashes your heart into a gallop, breaking into one of your own.

“Of course. How could I miss it?” you say, winking when his grin widens. He leans forward to place a chaste kiss on your cheek, hand spreading across your lower back. 

“I am so happy to see you, conejita,” he whispers, raising goosebumps along the nape of your neck. 

Oh, you’re in it deep now.

As the night continues more people file in, filling the small space with chattering conversation. You find the bubbly brunette again, who introduces herself as Julia, and get to talking about houseplant care and aggravations. She’s unpretentious, passionate, and makes you feel like you belong. Honestly, most of the people do. As the night wears on and you shake more hands and spark more conversations, it dawns on you why these people are all together tonight. This is Javi’s circle, people who understand him and bring him joy.

Bashful happiness that you might bring him joy settles in your chest.

Javi scoops you up every few minutes, guiding you to new groups or asking you if you’ve tried something. The upscale pigs in a blanket are your personal favorite, snagging a whole tray for yourself when a waiter walks by. You’re almost embarrassed, but Javi’s crinkled smile as he tries to steal one and gets his hand slapped is worth it.

A murmuring begins by the entrance, a flocking to the door. Javi comes to your elbow, leaning on one foot and placing his warm hand on your lower back. He’s been doing it to you all night, every time you stand beside him, but it’s never less thrilling.

“What’s that all about?” you ask, your third glass of champagne fizzing delightfully under your skin. He catches someone’s eye in the crowd, gesturing them over.

“Just a good friend who came to visit.”

You almost choke on your sip of bubbles.

“Nicolas. Fucking. Cage,” you scoff to Javi under your breath as the man himself emerges out of the crowd. He’s bee-lining your way but stops to shake hands and engage in polite conversation. His emerald velvet jacket contrasts the burgundy button-up underneath nicely, but the faded Dad jeans and white tennis shoes clash adorably with the ensemble. “You could have warned me!”

“Your reaction was well worth your annoyance,” Javi placates, pressing you forward as the crowd falls back.

“How are you doing Nic? How’s the family?” Javi asks, pulling the famous actor in for a hug. They give brief updates, you standing back a step awkwardly. Debating on slipping away, Javi introduces you to Nic and pulls you back into the conversation.

“The girl on the plane,” Nic says, and if you ever thought his speaking affect was fake you’re certain now it’s genuine. He takes your hand in both of his, shaking it earnestly. “I heard your sister is a big fan. I hope she liked the message, I know it was a little rushed but, last minute on the holidays, you know…” You shake your head, fighting back your sister’s scream in the back of your mind.

“She was over the moon. Thank you again for doing that, it was very kind of you,” you say, trading a secret smirk with Javi. It’s a harmless lie, but the fact that he’s perpetuating it makes you even giddier.

“Well next time you’re at one of Javi’s parties you should bring her. I love meeting fans,” Nic says, giving you a pat on the shoulder and peeling off to get himself a drink. Javi slides back to your side, the laughter you’d been suppressing squeaking out of the corners of your mouth.

“Clara’s gonna die. I’ll have to lie to her to get her in the same room as Nic,” you sputter, leaning into Javi’s side as he puts an arm around your shoulders. Frenetic energy dissipating, you savor the solid breadth of his chest, that delicious citrus bite of his scent. He holds you there, and after a moment his cheek presses against the side of your head. He inhales, your face burning when you realize he’s smelling you. 

“That’s it, you’re a wizard or something. No one can grant as many wishes as you,” you tease, twisting to look into Javi’s face. The crows feet and wrinkles smooth as he looks at you, eyes darting from your own to your lips and back again. “Thank you,” you finally say, letting him slide his arm down to pull you into his chest.

“It is I who should be thanking you, conejita. I’ve been living a full life, a better life in recent times, but it feels that much brighter when you’re close to me.” His touch is hesitant when his fingers graze your jaw, his hold loosening on your back. It’s all broadcasting only what you want. He would chase you if you let him, though if you stepped away now he’d let you. But in those touches are the longing to be more than acquaintances. And in this room you thought you’d never belong in, you feel safe, and seen.

Over the chatter and laughter swirling past, you talk. About Javi’s life, and your own. Your work and what you love to do. His love of movies, your love of old houses and national parks. Your mutual dislike of overused CGI elements and predictable jumpscares. He strokes your back, your arm, as you speak, sometimes needing to break away to say hello or answer a question, but unfailingly coming back to you. 

As the final minutes near, you voice the question burning in the back of your mind.

“Javi, you’re so…” you gesture at this posh, gorgeous man standing beside you. “You’re so far out of my league I can’t even see you. And I know I’m a catch,” you interject, gesturing at yourself now with amusement. “I’m a snack, I’m a whole meal, I don’t deny it. But I’m more like…Applebees than Wolfgang Puck.” You wave your hands, banishing the jumble away. “I guess I just don’t understand why…me. Here. Tonight.”

Javi’s brow furrows, his mouth tightening into a pout as he casts his gaze down. Waiting is torture, needing to know if this is just a little thank-you or something more. 

“One minute!” someone shouts, the excitement in the room ratcheting up another series of degrees as everyone gathers in the center of the restaurant. Javi leads you to the middle, the throng of people parting enough to give you some space inside it. Once your feet stop, he sweeps you into another embrace, this one firmer. His eyes roam your face, searching for something before he speaks. 

“As much as I love the old movies, I do not believe in love at first sight. I believe in attraction, and common interests, and support. I believe in two people finding each other in the most unusual way and taking it as a sign. And when the universe gives you another chance and it only makes you want that person more, well…” Javi trails off, one hand coming up to curl around your head, his thumb stroking the hinge of your parted jaw. Your eyes must be hopeful because he barrels on.

“Well, I am not one to overlook lightning striking twice. And you are…you are not an…apple bee?” he asks, confusion twisting the words. You shake your head and pat his chest.

“It’s a, like, chain restaurant. Sorry, doesn’t make a lot of sense if you haven’t heard of it,” you murmur, stroking a finger along his lapel. 

“But that’s just it, because I don’t agree with that. You are so much more than I wished. I feel like…not like a puzzle, but like…two rivers meeting. Both strong on their own, but together, mingled, are in harmony.”

“Okay everyone, get ready, on ten!”

“Javi, what are you…”

“Nine!”

“I want more of this, conejita. I want more of you. If you’ll have me too.”

“Eight!”

“I…do, but I just…it…it feels so…complicated.”

“Seven!”

“We do not need all of the answers now. Just one.”

“Six!”

“Which one is that?”

“Five!”

“Will you let me kiss you tomorrow?”

“Four!”

“Three!”

“Two!”

“One!”

“Yes, Javi.”

The restaurant erupts in cheers of “Happy New Year!” as people hug and kiss and celebrate. One of the waiters pulls the crepe paper cord and balloons tumble from the ceiling, packets of foil confetti dumping and exploding over the crowd. If you were paying attention you’d laugh, reach your hands up to the ceiling and try to catch handfuls of the glittering shower, but you’re preoccupied with Javi’s gentle smile before he pulls your lips to his.

If this kiss was a precursor to how your next year would go, magical might be a good descriptor. Or explosive. Swoon-worthy maybe. But perfect might be the best. Javi’s first chaste press is followed by deeper kisses, his full lips covering your own with quiet little pants. When he pulls back enough to see your kiss-drunk face his whole demeanor lights up, lacing his fingers with yours and pulling you through the crowd.

Once tucked away on a bench in the back of the restaurant, he proceeds to kiss you with more fervor, tongue slipping against yours tentatively. He only interrupts the worshipful makeout with touches to your face like he still can’t believe you’re here. Covering his hands with your own, you tilt your head to one side.

“I feel like this is going to be a very good year.”

Javi’s sweet smile turns just a fraction devilish, and your heart flutters with it.

“Better than I could have wished for."

END

Part 3: A Gift of Light and Joy

[whole-circus]

i luv your account aesthetic or wtv its called!! it’s rlly cool, mmm i wanted to request for smth!

could you write homicidal liu and jeff tk with a selective mute male or gender neutral reader? if u write for only one then jeff would be ok! and if you don’t know how to write for a mute reader, feel free to ignore this!!

the reader doesn’t communicate at all with words, and only use nods and stuff 4 answers. thank u sm !! <3

Jeff the Killer and Homicidal Liu x gn. reader with selective mutism!

➥ Ah thank you so much, you are so sweet!! T^T No problem! I tried my best to educate myself, but please free to correct me! :) Im at your service! And also - please take care of yourself!

.•┈••✦ 🖤 ✦••┈•.

Jeff the Killer

☆ He can be a bit tease at moments, but he has good intentions - i mean, only he can do that?? Also no worries, he is a bit of a talker - leave him with someone he likes and he will talk and talk for hours.. For that he doesn't need any words, just small gestures showing that you are listening to him! Like the way you look at him..ah he just love that! <3

☆ He is like this scary dog privilege, wouldn't let talk shit about you! Pretty agressive from me huh? Good! He is so, so protective of you! He knows people can be terrible and he doesn't tolerate meanies. Any person that makes you sad will land on his black list. That doesn't mean that he doesn't trust you, Jeff knows that you are able to manage..but he want to help you if you would need that! (plus you would spend even more time together!).

☆ This man doesn't except a lot, deep down he is just a softie who wants someone to love. Oh? And what is that? His precious partner? He would jump from joy, if he didn't had this cool persona to hold up! I promise your selective mutism its not a big deal for him, after all he is killer, come on..everyone have imperfections huh? You do you, you are still amazing! You are still his sweet S/O, and he loves you the way you are! But the same as Liu - he wants the best for you, and would love you to get professional help (only if you are comfortable tho, its a big and hard step).

☆I think he would like to do stuff with you that helps you express yourself. Listen, he would love to learn you how to play guitar - unless you are this cool person who can do that. But maybe writing poems? Okay, this is just straight sweet. Photography? Hell yes, you could even make some journal together? You know, to never forgot your shared moments? Or even an art! Like painting, sculpting, drawing..he is up to anything, as long as he gets to spend time with you!

Homicidal Liu

☆ He doesn't mind in the slightest! I think he is pretty observant person, so nonverbal communication would be his thing. And if there is something, that would help you communicate better then he is right by your side - no matter if you would like to learn sign language, or maybe start using communication cards! Would do anything to help, if you would feel better then he would go with you to places, and if needed - react.

☆ Liu is a patient partner and just a sweetheart! That means that he would never pressure you over something, with what you wouldn't feel comfortable. Of course, he wants you to feel better, but it doesn't matter if you speak or not. Your well being is the most important. But! If you would be open to therapy, then he is your number one supporter!

☆ Loves spending time with you..- just you both relaxing in home. The choice is yours - games, movies, baking. Man, he would also love to slow dance with you (I bet he is a good dancer with his long ass legs). You are his safe place and he hopes he is yours..!

☆ He would do anything for you, he loves you so much! You are his favorite person and he wants you to remember, that even if mutism is part of you, then it isn't everything you are! You are your favorite drink, your favorite sweater or the way you walk.. you are this little things that makes you you..! And also! The relationship is supposed to be for good and bad times, so its perfectly normal for partners to feel vurnable and safe around eachother, just the way they are!

.•┈••✦ 🖤 ✦••┈•.

[pearldog30]

David (hesh) Walker Head Cannon.

Alright, so. this was what y'all voted for that I do Hesh. So here's our bb boy hesh! Hope you all enjoy the head cannon on our boy 🖤

(also this hc is before he lost everybody. Because I genuinely can't bring myself to do that hc right now...)

Other works 👉 Master list

Warnings| a little tiny mention of PTSD.

I'm sorry but I can just imagine this man singing this song to you on your wedding day/anniversary 😭 (Love song say You won't let go by James Arthur) hesh can low key sing. no one can convince me otherwise!

I feel like hesh has only had 2 or 3 short-term girlfriends in the past, and each time he legit thought they were going to spend the rest of their life together, but they just ended up cheating on him or using him. and so when he met you he was very standoffish, and did not trust you for a while. because he thought you were like the others, so when you showed him that you only wanted HIM! When I tell you this man fell head over heels for you... It's like as if someone put the world in his hands. Because well.... in his eyes, they really did.

the very first person he introduced you to when you guys got together was Riley. This man was so nervous to introduce you to his goddamn dog, it was adorable. and when Riley liked you it was a weight lifted off his shoulders.

Since hesh's family is very VERY! important to him, it's important for them to like you too. So when he realized that you were the only one for him. he practically ran to his dad's house with you In his arms to introduce you to anybody. And when his dad/brother actually ended up liking you a lot. it just made him so madly in love with you.

out of all the guys when he's not working. he is the most sweetest, and genuine person ever! Which surprises a lot of people.

Since he grew up in San Diego he obviously is a big surfer. so if you're into surfing as well that is major bonus points for you. but if you're not, don't worry. he'll teach you, he'll definitely try to show you some tricks. And OHHH BOY! if Logan comes along, you might as well forget learning. cuz it's going to be a competition between those 2 on who can do better.

Slow dances with you in the kitchen. (although It's more like holding you in his arms and just standing there)

Since it's pretty obvious that hesh is a major Hot Head. (I mean just look at all the times he's blown up at everybody) so before he met you, he had quite the temper. And after y'all have been together for a while. you've noticed how much he's calmed down, like his temper is nowhere near as bad. To the point that even Merrick has said something about it "oh damn it looks like we're losing our boy. what has that woman done to you?" Merrick jokingly says, but he low-key grateful he's not as hot-headed anymore.

Now when it comes to day to day life he's a little... dumb. Like he's always calling his dad asking him if the difference between laundry detergent is the reason why his work-clothes have holes in them/asking if he should go to the emergency room because he's SOMEHOW sliced his leg open. so when you came into the picture just know you made Elias's blood pressure go down so much. you saved him from a heart attack.

I'm sorry but this MAN has a major sweet tooth. especially on the nights he can't sleep, so you'll often find him in the kitchen eating candy or some sugary shit. and then he complain on why he doesn't have abs later that week.

Hesh is a low-key hopeless romantic. Although he sucks ass at being romantic, but he tries his hardest. give our boy a break!

We know that hesh has PTSD but he certainly doesn't let it show. He's probably one of the very few guys that has it somewhat under control. But that doesn't mean he doesn't get the occasional panic attacks/nightmares. And when he does he usually goes very quiet, which is unlike him. That's when you know he's having a rough time, and your sign to step back and let him come to you when he's ready.

Now that doesn't mean he doesn't want your help, it's just 1 time in a past when you were trying to calm him down during one of his panic attacks, he absolutely snapped at you, and went off, It was the most angriest you've ever seen him. ever since then he keeps his distance when he is going through something like that, because he doesn't want to take it out on you. And hurt you. He still really hasn't forgiven himself from the last time. so he tries his best to protect you from it.

Secretly has a candy stash in his barracks room when he's deployed.

And lastly he CANNOT! be trusted to be in the kitchen when you're cooking..... By the time whatever you're making is done, half of it's already gone. You know those 5-year-olds that get excited when you have like brownie batter or something like that. yeah that's him, and he manages to get it all over his face in the process. The man is somehow a 5-year-old in a 27 year old body. you often question how Elias made it all these years.

Love language. Quality time, and words of affirmation. (I'm sorry but you cannot tell me this man's knees go WEAK when you tell him you're proud of him.)

And that's going to be the end for this thank y'all so much for voting! I hope you enjoyed our chaotic, angry boy. As always I hope you have a good day/night wherever you are. reblogs, comments always appreciated 🖤

Tags| @macravishedbymactavish @alexkellersleg @walker33961 and if you would like to be added just message me or comment.

[some-beans]

How about the dorm leader bois with a reader who’s like Samurai Jack?

thank you for the ask, annon !! samurai jack. . . that's a blast from the past !! and sorry it took a hot minute to get out and that it's kinda short !! lowkey had trouble trying figure out how to write it

✎...pairing: twisted wonderland dorm leaders x samurai jack!reader ✎...themes: chaos, can be seen as platonic or romantic ✎...enjoy !! ✎...notes: can you tell which characters are my favourite, ace slander, i tried to keep it gender-neutral, but mentions of afab and amab in some parts

𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐃𝐋𝐄

i feel that riddle would find you pleasing to be around due to the fact that you respect the queen of hearts' rules

even if you sometimes forget them, he values the fact that you try anyway

well that, and he's lowkey scared of getting his ass folded by you

he once saw you do that to ace because he was annoying greatly and decided to teach him a lesson

let's just say ace doesn't do that anymore

no one does

but overall, riddle respects you

𝐋𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐀

leona wasn't really paying attention to you until basically manhandled a couple of savanaclaw students who tried to pick on you for being magicless

well damn

if you were afab, for example, leona would actually show so much respect for you

considering how a vast majority of his nations army is women, he wouldn't dare to get on your bad side

he could hear his mother scream if he was disrespectful

if you were amab, for example, leona would show you some respect for you

he would still make sly remarks or tease you, but nothing too much because why bother getting his shit rocked

he'd much rather nap

speaking of naps, he doesn't mind napping when you're around because you're quiet and peaceful

𝐀𝐙𝐔𝐋

gonna be honest. . . a little scared

i mean, a person capable of defeating a shapeshifting demon, who sent them eons into the future, was gonna scare him

despite that, he will try to get you to sign a contract but fails

why??

because you know shady stuff when you see it

whenever you read a contract, you read every. single. word and makes azul kinda annoyed

however, if you deem the T&Cs acceptable, you best believe azul will rave about it alone

he'd most likely act as the lounge's bodyguard or a debt collector like floyd and jade

𝐊𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐌

this ball of sunshine loves the fact you can fight so gracefully

he would sometimes sneak off from jamil just to watch you train ー even if meant getting scolded by the both of you

he will buy the best of the best swords and gear for you ー you've tried to deny them, but those puppy dog eyes are too powerful

when he sees your scars, he almost cries a river

no seriously, it almost happened

so you learned to just accept the gifts that he gives you

he also asks a lot of questions but tries to make sure not to step into sensitive territory

𝐕𝐈𝐋

he wasn't too intrigued with you, to begin with, but that wasn't until he managed to see the scars that littered your back

and that's when he started to notice other small scars and callouses

now, this is vil we're talking about, so expect him to try and get to use all these lotions/creams to aid with your skin

albeit reducing them or making them smooth, he will find a way

other than that, vil isn't surprised when he found out you're a samurai

i mean, he has rook

but one thing that vil does like about you is your dedication to protecting the ones you love

he finds this similar ー in a way ー to his dedication on being the fairest of them all

𝐈𝐃𝐈𝐀

two words: fucking terrified

you're a mother fucking samurai

what the shit??

but for real, his inner otaku is vibrating at a rate that could shatter glass

you remind him of so many different characters from various shows and he would love to see you fight, but he would never admit that

hearing about your time travel story also made him think of different isekais and such

god, you're really bringing out the otaku in him, aren't you??

𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐔𝐒

colour him intrigued

you're a warrior and a great one

he absolutely loves hearing your battle stories and how you got each scar

he's definitely interested in the whole time travel adventure you went on

he's almost like kalim in a sense ー child-like curiosity

however, he does fret over your healed battle wounds like you just got them ー you find it very endearing

[tobiasdrake]

Moving along, let's see what other recorded secrets we can find in the House of Backstory.

Well, if my Makoto theory is correct, he might have been previously bonded to Shinigami. In which case, he may not have a high opinion of the new Shinigami host. Or he could be projecting his own experiences with Shinigami.

Hey, it's Zilch! What's up, buddy? Are you still a bad pupper? Or, no, I suppose you'd be a hungry pupper, right?

What, we don't want to say hi to our old buddy-pal Zilch? I want to see if he still has his pupper hat. It's hard to make out from this distance and I never did get to scritch his ears.

HINT HINT. Yuma learned his lesson from his first altercation with a "zombie" and wasn't about to take the bait, so Makoto had to nudge him.

He DOES. He does have the pupper hat. Hey, buddy. How's it going? Murdered anyone interesting lately? 'Cause I have. I killed my boss earlier today, in fact! It was heartbreaking.

That checks out. So it wasn't just Master Detectives. Anyone trying to enter Homunculus City had to be put down. That was Fake Zilch's job. He was pretty good at it too.

Interesting but not surprising that Yomi specifically was his client. That makes sense. The WDO made arrangements with Amaterasu to bring Detectives in, but Yomi wanted to keep them out. Bet you Makoto was the one who signed off on bringing us here to begin with.

Which would then make sense. Makoto's repeatedly said he has a lot of faith in detectives and believes they're the key to "saving" this city. That. Would follow. As something he believes in, if he previously worked for WDO to begin with.

...

...

YES. Yes, I am. Let's talk company secrets.

So help me, Yuma, do not correct him.

Goddammit Yuma, your overwhelming honesty and integrity makes me want to throw you down a flight of stairs sometimes!

At least he's too delirious to listen. That's good. Let's see if we can get him talking about things we don't know.

Wow, that lines up with when Huesca began doing corporate espionage. Yomi stepped into his office, took a big whiff, and went, "Mm, smells like corruption dough ready to be baked. And I am a hungry boy!"

Be funny if they sold homunculus secrets to WDO, allowing Makoto to get ahead and then come back and take over Amaterasu. Whole-ass self-made karmic comeuppance for Yomi.

Aww, this guy was one of Yomi's besties until we out-of-nowhere wrenched his soul from his body and fed it to a howling abyss. I hope he and Yomi were having a nice debriefing lunch when he suddenly dropped dead for no explicable reason.

Huh. That's. Fascinating, actually. So he wasn't selling corporate secrets for profit; He was. Like. Doing espionage mercantilism. Info-sharing between companies to build a stronger information base from which to carry out Amaterasu's research.

But still a fucking fascist, just in case anyone starts getting ideas about Yomi being the better alternative to Makoto.

Oh, he's an attack pupper. Suddenly, the dog imagery makes a lot of sense. He's Yomi's hound.

So he was directly involved. Makoto was confident he wouldn't tell us shit when he was setting us up to talk to the crotchety old bastard.

There it is. The three-year point, when Makoto and Forever Rain came to the city.

They'd been doing homunculus research for seven years at that point, but their big new homunculus research project for the ongoing homunculus endeavor was Project: Homunculus? The hell were they calling it before? Project: Immortal Abomination? Project Alchemic Puppetry? Project Fuck Happened To Your Eyes?

Yomi holds that same belief. These two hate Makoto for what he's done to their city and company. Making me buy in more and more into my "Everyone in Kanai Ward is homunculi" theory. I think Makoto did that on purpose because he sees it as some brilliant new wave in human evolution or some shit. Yomi resented him for it.

I said before that Makoto's talking a lot about what he's against but only offers platitudes for what he's for. "Making and maintaining homunculi" is probably what he's for.

Was that when everyone became homunculi? Maybe the entire city was killed in the toxic gas leak from the mine, and Makoto then had homunculi made to replace them? Or something?

Must be easy to seize control of a corporation after everyone dies and gets remade by you. Makoto's sudden takeover seemed sketchy, but now it seems even moreso. The Blank Week is probably a week of time that the entire city collectively blipped out on, because that was the period of time during which the originals were dead and the homunculi were in production.

Having no way to know what happened, they'd have little recourse but to eventually write it off as a collective WTF.

...well, that's a curve ball. So. Maybe Makoto was anti-homunculi from the start after all? Or he already made his masterpiece and didn't want Amaterasu's trash science to intervene. Or something. I don't know. I wasn't prepared for this.

[rottingbrains101]

REVEAl headcajosns..... The masses yearn for content of the boy...

i also headcanon that hes bad of soght but hates wearing glasses !!!!! i find it funny to make him and my oliver fleshhead designs cery similar too

his music taste is literally just mine but remove all the calm stuff

he also owns a hedgehog!!!! her name is kitkat

i have an oc that is hisnbest friend and i love them so much his name is jamie and hes very neat i can talk about him if yku like

the gloves are based off me same for tehbreason

he owns a plushie named ravage which is based off me since i also own a plushie named ravage :33

he hates sticky stuff

he has plenty of 'parents' otherwise known as couples he finds neat and decides to follow around and or terrorise

^ this includes cowboys and cinemas i like forcing him and oliver to interact its funny

^ norm makes billy clean his truck whenever he pisses him off

he got his megaphone from jake !! he doesnt remember it

^ same with the hoodie,he actuslly knows this one and its why he likes it so much

he hasnt seen jake in like 5 years but hes aware there related somehow

he USED to live with jake but jake sent him to the orphanage after not being able tontake care of him

lived in germany for a short while but is fluent in it and spoke it until learning english with abel at about 4-5 years old

his head is SO damaged from a multitude of things

^ fights , oliver THROWING HIM , bigfoot , etc you get it

^ he fights people a LOT its the only real reason he goes to school

he can hardly read since he never really bothered to learn after his dyslexia kept hindering his progress

he can write kind of well but his handwriting is ass

^ it looks like either a scribble attempting to be cursive or letters that dont line up and go over the lines its just unreadable in general

very affection starved cause nobody really likes him so he leaps at any opportunity to be given affection even if its just dickens patting him on the back

norm taught him how to shoot a rifle

EXTREMELY picky eater

probsbly speaks in brainrot just because it pisses people off

his megaphone is horribly taped together cause he desperately doesnt wanna buy another

uses his dads money a lot

marks half the shit he owns with 'BILLY' in sharpie

^ includes the megaphone

always covered in bruises and scratches/scars from fights and just being clumsy in general

scared of dogs (me) but acts like he isnt

^ he cries if they chase him aftr he runs away and riles rhem up

has multiple stolen signs and car license plates in his room

he REALLY wants a snake but abel is already so pissed st the fact he owns taratulas

^ he got them without abels or bunnys permission

beloth lives in his mirror and hes just used to it st this point. its like how yellow guy sees smart yellow in the mirror in dhmis

i lov ehim

[atlasmoonshine]

How I almost died on a camping trip (Long story, tl;dr at bottom)

Ok so my geology class has an end-of-semester field trip to the Appalachian Mountains for extra credit. Naturally, I take it because I have never gone camping before and it was a great opportunity to do so. The first day was a lot of fun, we went rock climbing with no harnesses, almost fell 50+ feet, went into a cave with only one opening as wide as my body, almost got stuck, fun times!

But those, while dangerous, were not the near-death experience.

So before the field trip started, my professor talks about it in the syllabus. HOWEVER, there was NO MENTION OF A SUPPLY LIST. It LITERALLY only said "just bring money for food." My assumption was that they would provide supplies or something.

They did not.

I had NO sleeping bag, NO blanket, NOTHING. I only had a tent because I buddied up with someone. It was just me and the cold, hard ground, just completely raw-dogging nature. But I didn't realize she'd be the one raw-dogging me. And she didn't bring lube.

So what DID I bring, you may ask? Just enough clothes to last the weekend, the shittiest keychain flashlight known to man, a multitool knife, and snacks for the van. That's it.

It was cold. It was in the 20s that night, and me NOT HAVING A SLEEPING BAG OR BLANKET, I layered up on clothes so I'd at least be a LITTLE warmer. I had like 2 hoodies, 3 shirts, 2 pants, and 3 pairs of socks on.

So this is where the trouble starts. It was 1 AM and I had to pee. I stumbled out of my tent with my shitty flashlight. This flashlight, turns out, was only good at telling the general shapes of things, nothing else. So I saw a dip in the land and assumed it was just a ledge.

It was not.

I slipped and fell on my ass directly into a creek. My pants were SOAKED from the ass down, my socks were soaked, my shoes were soaked. And although I had the self-preservation skills of a lemming, even I knew that wearing wet clothes in 20F weather was BAD NEWS. And I had no clothes to switch into, as all the clothes I had were currently clinging to my freezing body.

I make it back to my tent and I start shaking like I have never shaked before in my life. Have you ever held an ice cube for so long it started to burn? My ass down to my toes were BURNING. My feet no longer had feeling in them except for the icy hellfire that punished me for having bodily functions. I couldn't even lay down because I had to sit on my feet with the hopes my body heat would at least ease the pain a little. After a couple hours, my torso started feeling REALLY warm, despite nothing really changing. I may not be a survivalist, but I've heard that's generally a bad sign.

4 am hits. After THREE HOURS of accepting death, being in the most pain I have been in in a hot minute, my tentmate, who has been peacefully sleeping next to me unaware of me fighting for my life, wakes up. I'm assuming from me vibrating so much I was rubbing against the tent floor making noise. She asks me "How are you doing?" I say "Miserable, I think I'm dying, thanks! :D" I tell her the terrible situation I was in and she asked the question I'm sure every reader has asked at this point:

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

And at this moment: I learned something VERY interesting about myself. The reason I didn't wake her up was because I didn't want to disturb her. I didn't want to disturb her with me LITERALLY dying. In an ACTUAL LIFE OR DEATH SITUATION, when given the choice between POTENTIALLY bothering someone or just straight up dying, I CHOSE DYING. For some reason, my brain put bothering someone and LITERALLY DYING on the EXACT SAME TIER.

So that's how bad my social anxiety is.

Anyways, she lent me some pants so I'd stop wearing my soaked jeans and gave me some socks and let me use her sleeping bag for a couple hours before everyone else had to wake up. Somehow, I made out of it alive while still keeping all my toes. But I came out of it with some new knowledge about myself:

My social anxiety is SO BAD that I would LITERALLY rather die than potentially bother someone.

Tl;dr: I almost died of hypothermia because of social anxiety

[ceilingfan5]

hellooo!! for the ask game:

i think everyone should have a cat au, where one or multiple of the main characters turn into cats somehow and everyone else has to cope

nyeheheh >:3

VERSION ONE:

taako turns into a cat sometimes, kravitz is very affectionate about it but also Taako He Swears To God (i actually made a post about this a million years ago, where sometimes taako just. polymorphs into a cat and flops in kravitz's lap when he needs a bit of physical reassurance but can't quite articulate it...mmm)

taako is also a fucking menace and the more recently he's been a cat the more likely he is to fully give into the impulse, already barely restrained, of just knocking glasses off of tables, biting people, taking shiny things and keeping them forever, and so on

he especially likes to climb on kravitz's shoulders in cat form and rub against kravs stubble <3

VERSION 2WO:

the tres horny boys get fuckin wizard blasted into being kitty cats and cause absolute havocmayhem on the moon. magnus has the zoomies. merle is eating the house plants. taako is. shit does anyone have eyes on taako oh lord

VERSION THREE:

The IPRE gets bond engine blasted into goddang warriorcats but theyre so bad at it. i mean lup rules obviously, she'd be In Charge in days. you aint never seen meow meow war like this. who taught the fight kitties horrible magicks and foul language. how could this possibly happen. something something firestar

barry is the kitty pettest. i could make a swimming/riverclan joke but to be honest im only a warrior cat fan in law, i don't know that much and mostly i am imagining barry trying to catch a fish that's bigger than his fluffy kitty body and getting absolutely trout slapped

magnus has a lot to say about how he wishes he was a dog instead but fucking loves it

dav is a feline mastermind. he also has the tiniest little legs. mr. murderbritches ass. you know he could take you down but the awww response cannot be denied. lucretia also has kittypet energy. she wants to know Fucking Everything the medicine cat knows and is like, furiously trying to figure out the world logic that makes this society even semi-functional. it drives her nuts that merle just accepts the medicine cat stuff. she goes on a field trip to learn about cat hell and nearly doesn't come back

taako loves having a tail. i mean i tend to have my elves have tails anyway but like. goddamn imagine having a tail. now im jealous

version FOUR:

everybody at the BOB is cats suddenly EXCEPT our main characters, which is so fucking funny. the three of them are up to their elbows in kitties and magnus takes herding cats very seriously. merle is like. listen. what if we didn't fix this problem. and gave up. and taakos like TOO RIGHT until he has a squidward moment and is like wait. director kitty cat can't sign my paycheck. guess we're going on a wizard quest

Version Five:

angus is a shapeshifter and taako finds him asleep on the world's softest blanket and purring and has a Fucking Emotional Moment that will never, ever be spoken of ever again

[jangmo-othewarrior]

The MC, Coco, Ross, and Nora have like, the most chaotic group/friend/found family dynamic of all time. You have:

No brain cells wannabe

Ross would fight anyone who even looked at the others wrong. He's the 'I'm the only one allowed to insult them' friend. It doesn't matter if he is a human and his friend is the Ruler of all Nexomon, he will size you up if you try to fight them.

Boy never thinks. Nary a thought runs through his mind. Yet, he sometimes makes the most philosophical comments at random times. And then Coco makes fun of him for it.

Someone plz help his Nexomon, they are one of four reasons he is even a functioning being.

Is the only human with a somewhat positive(?) relationship with Fenrir. Fenrir constantly belittles him but Ross just. Doesn't care at this point. And Fenrir respects that. Gets along fine with all of the other CoO.

Deena tries to mother him, Nora, and Coco. Ross is not very recipient to this. He thinks its awesome when she beats people's asses in battles though.

Curses the most out of the four of them. May not know much sign language, but MC taught him the curse word signs after years of asking. (All four of them can read sign language.)

The One with (almost) all of the brain cells

Nora is the only one who is capable of functioning on her own as an adult. Thus, she has to follow Ross around so he does not die. (The last time she left him alone he ran into New Ignita and was held captive by Mulcimer.)

The book she holds, which is a book on different species of Nexomon, is the last thing she has from her parents. The others understand this and never mess with it. They all read it sometimes when Nora gets sad.

Her Nexomon are just as smart as she is. She often lets them wander around when traveling around the world. They always come back to her, often with little gifts. (Rocks, flowers, and the like. One time it was a wild Maern though.)

Very respectful to all of the CoO, so they all think she is, at the very least, not to bad of a human. Nadine in particular like how she approaches problems. The only thing she thinks Nora needs to be is more assertive.

Deena's mothering was received best by Nora, who is not really bothered by all of the fusing. She asks lots of questions about everything. Nexomon? The guild structure? How the MC's powers work? The birth of Tyrants? Everything.

Nora is the only one other than the MC to be fluent in sign language. She learned alongside the MC and it currently trying to teach Ross more signs. It is not going great.

Sassy 4th wall breaking cat

Coco is the second most functional member of the group, but there is also a large gap in between him and Nora. Has to follow around the MC so they are not caught doing crimes.

Coco and Ross have antagonized each other since they were babies. At this point, it is their natural state.

Does not currently own any Nexomon, but all of the other three's Nexomon like him for some reason. He does not enjoy this when they are 3x larger than him.

Literally couldn't give less of a shit about how the CoO feel about him. Zetta thinks that the fact he is a cat is fascinating, and Coco wants him to leave him alone.

Deena is very hesitant with Coco, as he has already scratched Zetta three times. Coco tries to be nicer to her for the MC's sake. (but not all the time)

Coco can read sign language very easily, bit his paws were not made for using sign language. He tries to make up his own to accommodate, but it turns into a complex game of charades.

And a deer-wolf-thing with a spinning addiction

Simultaneously a sugar-sweet puppy dog and absolutely fucking feral. (And yet, is somehow more functional than Ross.)

Didn't really get along with the other kids at the Orphanage at first, except for Ross. Nora arrived a little later and Coco 'begrudgingly' began to hang out with all of them.

Their Nexomon adore them, even more than Coco. Ross and Nora's Nexomon also adore the MC. In fact, most Nexomon adore the MC. All Nexomon adore the MC? (Not surprising in hindsight)

My personal human name for the MC is either Helie or Helios, in reference to the Greek Titan of the Sun. Solus, Omnisun, and Helie/Helios, Titan (or Tyrant) of the Sun.

Easily gets along with the CoO the best. Being their niece/nephew give them the privilege of annoying them constantly. The CoO don't mind it because at least it's something new, they have never has a new family member since Metta Luxa's birth.

Deena tries to simply be there for the MC, and she doesn't want to push anything onto them. (which causes her to redirect this energy towards Ross, Coco, and Nora). Grunda has unfortunately (according to him, anyway) ended up with a parental role as well.

Tries to split their time in between their human and Tyrant form. Typically uses Tyrant form to either chat with other Nexomon, get places faster, or for whatever stupid idea Ross or Coco has come up with this time, much to Nora's chagrin.

They are one the inherently chaotic groups I have ever seen in a video game and I love them.

[alexandraswords]

F*CK NORMAL

An overdue ending to a (un)well decorated drinking career.

Introduction

Friday, June 9, 2023 9:28 AM

Today is one of those days where I am just tired, and a bit bored, but mostly tired. I am exhausted. Mentally at least. I have really been putting my all into my sobriety to the point where my day revolves around meetings but im starting to lose momentum. I have a headache, the dog wont stop barking, i'm trying to pop the zits on my face. Basically being alone with my discontented ass self is not something I'm great at... yet.

I should meditate or journal or text another AA member. But I just want to sleep and be normal and relax. But fuck normal.

I thought drinking was normal. I thought my diet of vodka and water and the occasional box of cheez-its was adulting. I thought I was mature and well refined and socially acceptable because I drank, just like everyone else, because, you know, drinking is normal... right?

Wrong. Not for me. I am NOT normal. So I have to do abnormal shit to keep my addictive eating disordered alcoholic riddled ass self sober and happy. I have to keep listening to other people because me making my own decisions landed me in a crack den sharing a room with a friend I would consider a sibling, whom which a fought with constantly to the point where I dragged the mattress from our third floor apartment (if you consider that uninhabitable shit hole, an apartment) down out side below out kitchen window so if I jumped maybe the universe would send me a sign saying that it is or isn't time yet. Okay so I didn't actually do that, but I sure as shit thought about it... a lot. Like a lot. I mean i couldn't even barely walk to the bathroom let alone haul some shit down the stairs. Hell, I wouldn't even walk across the street to get my own liquor. I would bribe my roommate by telling him if he went for me and took my card he could buy something for myself. I just didn't care anymore. I hated everything. I hated that I had to be loaded to be able to walk because my shakes were so bad. I hated that I had to drink to even feel sober and functional and not hallucinate and vomit and dry heave bright green bile. And worst of all I hated that I had lost control.

My eating disorder and my alcoholism made my reality disappear. The food temporarily until my life became a cage, and the nicest word I can think of to name it would be a vomitorium because it was actually that repulsive if you could see inside the walls of it. The alcohol took control over me so I didn't have to deal with food, but also made it so I didn't worry or care about ANYTHING. 

So I guess this is how I'm going to start this ... whatever rant of words form a book. Where I'm at right now. Because right now is all I have. Yes, I am in full self pity mode, but if there's one thing I've learned from AA it's that I need to take action, and never have I ever felt worse after going to a meeting. So,lets go fucking make our bed, and meditate or some shit and get ready for today. So, yeah, Fuck Normal.

So, Why the fuck not?

I got most talkative in fifth grade. The english section of my English SAT’s, I aced. People (my boyfriend) seem to like my writing and have told me If I don’t do something with it, then they’ll publish it themselves… which I’m pretty sure falls into the lines of plagiarism but lets be honest here. I am probably one of the biggest procrastinators when it comes to doing something that is actually good for me. Why? The fuck if I know. Maybe because all I’ve known has been chaos and panic since, like,  forever, that when it comes to the real things, like happiness and joy and pride in work that I’VE DONE… well, I'm just not used to that type of thing.  But I figured, fuck it. I can write a book. All i have to do is elaborate on how awesome I am at self sabotaging and add in some very few lessons I picked up and am still learning day by day. Basically I’ve decided its time to just put all my shit in one bound piece of parchment instead of having to explain my life story to everyone as if its my first day with a new therapist. 

But alas, melodramatic Alex is bored and avoiding meditating, to keep her shit together and be healthier, obviously,  because that would actually be beneficial to my well being. So for now i’ll just throw it in one of the corners in the back of my mind while it slowly simmers into a pot of anxiety attack soup while I try and explain to you (briefly before the pot starts boiling) how fucking insanely delusionally fantastically fucked my life is, and how I got here, and why I wouldn’t change one second of it for anything. But I mean, there’s forwards and shit in books right? So can this be like a PS after the main intro forward? ‘Cause This sober bitch has to go meditate before a meeting so I can stay mindful in my sobriety and not add homicide to my list of criminal activities. (That was a joke) So for now, just for today, Namaste Sober. 

P.P.S- enjoy the buffet of garbage that hopefully is not similar to mine. But if you can and most likely will relate if you’re reading this (most likely because my clever title struck a chord in your twisted little heart) then just know, you're not alone in this shit show, but no one ever really puts the shit show on the ‘gram now do they?

[daandyli0n]

About He Came Back au... could you tell us a bit about the "missing" children once they grow up? We know about Gabe, Cassidy, and Charlie, but I'm a bit curious about the other kids! Love u and this au <3

aw, thanks man! yeah i have. Many Thoughts on these lil guys <3

so! they all kinda had to recover after y'know. almost getting murdered. but depending on what happened to them, they either took less or more time to recover (Cassidy took the shortest, Charlie took the longest, out of the main group). this only strengthened everyone's bonds.

now! onto the kids!

Susie:

- she becomes a dog mom :] she gets another golden retriever that she names Lucky II, after her first dog :] she has three dogs at any given time.

- she also adopts a child later on, and becomes a single mother (she's aroace). she names her daughter Clover, another reference to Lucky :]

- she gets into baking. she has shown up on her friends' doorsteps multiple times with either cookies or cupcakes. depends on the day. she works at a bakery.

- just a really bubbly and happy lady, despite everything. she's still got some sass, though.

Fritz (Jr.):

- his and Jeremy's bio parents get back together and he and Jere get a baby sister (Tabi)!! woo!!

- he gets sent to therapy for. a multitude of things: anger issues, the abuse he and Jeremy suffered from their stepfather, and The Incident.

- he mellows out after a few years, but he's still the brave, outgoing kid he was back then.

- they think his scars make him look more badass.

- Cassidy Introduces Them To Being Nonbinary, And He Could Not Be Happier.

- You Bet Your Ass That He Started Wearing A Pirate Eyepatch After Losing Their Eye.

- he is the guy that got Tabi into being a Foxy fan :]

- funnily enough, he grows up to be a child psychiatrist. he wants to help kids like him and Jere, y'know?

- they end up marrying a genderqueer person. good for him :]

- he's still very much into pirates (they're a special interest for them), and he makes that pretty clear. his therapy office has pirate related decor, sometimes he'll talk in a silly pirate voice to cheer kids up, and they still go to see Foxy shows at the Pizzeria. he doesn't care if the kids look at him weird, it makes him happy. :]

Jeremy:

- yeah, uh...he kinda lost his voice after Being Repeatedly Stabbed In The Throat. the doctors honestly thought he wouldn't make it.

- he learned ASL :]

- you thought losing his voice would stop his clownery at school? you fool.

- he got into playing guitar later on, and he owns a music store :].

- he teaches kids ASL when he goes over to the pizzeria to check on Gabe :).

- he confesses to Gabe in '94 by signing out 'I love you.' Gabe got real flustered.

- you don't wanna know how Overjoyed he got when he learned gay marriage got legalized. like, Gabe and Jere were just known as being unofficial husbands, sorta like how Cassidy and Charlie were known as being unofficial partners. but now!! they can Make It official!!

- he still has nightmares pretty often :(

Gabriel:

- he gets more confident over the years :)

- he gives the vibes of an awkward kid who felt embarrassed for being awkward and a lil goofy, but upon growing up just acts as silly and goofy as he wants. let him be a little silly and awkward!! the guy deserves it!!

- when he finally inherits the pizzeria after turning eighteen (long story: i have a hc about there being a Third business partner along with Afton and Emily, and this is Gabe's dad), he does really well, and gets along well with his customers. he is also the only person in Fazbear Entertainment, other than his father and Henry, who seems to have morals, because Jesus Christ.

- he doesn't follow the rule of Fazbear Entertainment where "We Are Not Liable For Anything Bad Happening-" because no!! tell him if something bad happened!! he wants to help fix it!!

- just a really sweet, goofy, and anxious man.

- he's also literally the only person besides Phone Guy (Daniel) who warns people about Afton (O'Hare/Springbonnie). because That's Kinda Some Important Info To Know.

- when Cassidy finally sealed Afton behind a wall, in a slightly illegal way, Gabriel promised not to say anything and also cover for them should word get out (he'd just claim that he asked them to do it).

- Freddy's is still open to this day, it's just moved locations around every few years or so.

- Gabe my beloved <3

the kids, when the og restaurant was still open, always felt uneasy about O'Hare after everything with Afton. is...is he really looking at them, or are they just being paranoid?

yeah, those are the kids i've spoken less about. Cassidy is on a quest to get rid of Afton once and for all, no matter the cost. Charlie is concerned for her partner, but willing to help where she can.

also, bonus!! The Afton Kids!!

they all have. Really Mixed Feelings on their father:

- Elizabeth feels kinda guilty about this whole thing, and really doesn't like thinking about it. she typically tries to change the subject if people talk about her father too much. she doesn't want to think about how her father tried to kill a bunch of kids, effectively because of her. as she's told Michael before, "If hadn't been so fucking stupid and actually listened to him for once, maybe none of this would've happened.." so yeah, she ain't doing well!

- Michael both hates his father for what he did, but can't help but miss him. regardless of the universe, Michael's got some Daddy Issues™️

- Adrian also doesn't wanna think about it too much, mostly because he can't wrap his head around why. it's also because of some weird, kinda traumatic nightmares where his father tries to reach out to him, but that's an entirely different post.

as far as Adrian's concerned, it's out of sight, out of mind. thinking about it brings up Bad Thoughts, and he'd like to Not have those, thanks.

but yeah. It's The Kids! minus Cassidy and Charlie, cause those two are practically their own post.

[grem-archive]

Tag Game To Better Know You! Send this to people you’d like to know better!

Oh, geez, so I’ve never really done one of these before haha but thank you to @draw-a-circle-thats-the-compass for the tag!

What book are you currently reading?

Unfortunately, I haven’t been reading much lately, but I am looking for suggestions! The last thing I read was Pox Americana by Elizabeth A. Fenn. It’s about the smallpox epidemic that hit North America around the time of the American Revolution and its effects, but it simultaneously takes you on a broader look at the impact, such as on Native American populations and the outbreak in Mexico City. Granted, it was for a class but a wonderful read that will make you not only think about history but reflect on the pandemic of today.

What’s your favorite movie that you saw in theatres this year?

…

Top Gun Maverick…I went and saw it three times with three different friend groups.

What do you usually wear?

Ah, well, the winter fit is usually sweatpants of some kind coupled with any random assortment of t-shirts, both short- or long-sleeved, then some kind of hoodie or jacket. I’ve been trying to break in a leather jacket though so that I can paint it! That thing is far comfier than it should be.

How tall are you?

5’ 5” or about 165 cm.

What’s your Star Sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event?

I am a Cancer. I don’t really believe in astrology, but I know far too much about it because of friends. They tell me I am a “classic Cancer,” and I’m not sure if that’s good or bad. And I do! June 21. I share a birthday with Chris Pratt and the U.S. Constitution. It’s also the day the Sox pitcher Rube Foster no-hit the Yankees 2-0 at Fenway in 1916. Make of those what you please.

Do you go by your name or a nick-name?

I go by my nickname Jill, or Grem/Gremlin online. Call me whatever the hell you want though, I’ll reply regardless.

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child?

I wanted to be so many things as a kid. Astronaut, microbiologist, paleontologist, a whole plethora of other things… As long as it had to do with using my hands for something and getting to learn and sate my obnoxious curiosity, I would be happy. Doing archaeology checks all those boxes, so I can’t be mad! I’m a recent convert to anthropology and I love it. Learning more each day just makes me love how diverse the Earth and its inhabitants are. I’m a filthy optimist, okay?

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one?

Single and vibing.

What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at?

I don’t think I’m much good at anything, but I guess I can draw! Would love to be better at writing.

Dogs or cats?

Don’t make me choose.

What’s something you would like to create content for?

To keep it in the scope of Hetalia, I would like to continue the historical fic I started writing centered around the American Revolution, as (early) American history is my secondary study. But I’m not confident in my skills enough to continue it. Forget posting it anywhere. But I had a prologue, first chapter, and second chapter in different states of completion before putting it down.

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

Cold War-era armor.

What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

My grades. [rimshot and laugh track plays]

What’s a hidden talent of yours?

I don’t think being ADHD-fueled human encyclopedia counts so…I can write with my toes. I can sing and play euphonium, too, I guess! Idk guys fr

Are you religious?

Not particularly. I am a very lazy pagan, at the very least.

What’s something you wish to have at this moment?

All my friends and mutuals with their fine asses right in front of me so that I can give them all ginormous, lung-squeezing, spine-cracking hugs. Y’all need to stop being gorgeous double-cheeked-up baddies on this Tuesday evening.

I’m nominating @sunnysssol @ironicorange @cicadatalia @magictrio1118 @sunnylolli @modernday-jay @abbittheturtle because you are all wonderful and are either close beloveds or super chill!

[bogbees]

(Jazz hands) ROLE REVERSAL

7:30 AM · Nov 19, 2017

Kakashi sensei is a.... character. He's very precise and very relaxed individual, his students claim him to be lazy - until they find themselves in a lecture. He's very thorough and adamant.

He's the only person in the damn village to give Naruto his full undivided attention. It morphs into some sort of family bond later and he wants to tear his eyes out bc of it.

Kakashi regularly makes sure the kid is eating his veggies. And cares so much ab him passing his final exam he ends up fighting Mizuki and getting a huge damn shuriken through his back

Naruto cries and does KAGE BUSHIN NO JUTSU and passes and now Kakashi is crying bc his son is happy and sage (and not bc of the pain no)

Iruka Umino ex elite anbu ninja, failed all his previous genin teams cause they never meet his impossibly high standards gets assigned Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke

Kakashi is gonna piss himself bc of course Naruto would end up with that guy! Of course! Still worried if Nar will pass tho. He thinks he did a FAB job teaching them

Iruka sorta jokes around with them - his prankster days never died - and finds their complete uncoordination appalling. Bad match up, awful, why these three together - oh wait, they have empathy for another? That's new

So he signs up as their jounin sensei. He's actually kinda excited - don't let Anko find out, she'll tell everyone he actually likes kids.

And then Naruto drags him to a ramen stand and they're waiting for someone --- "Iruka sensei please meet Kakashi neechan!" "Naruto they're Konoha ninja they probably know each other"

And simultainously both Iruka and Kakashi go "Naruto respect your elders" bc they are not having this kid go around calling Kakashi his brother /in public/

They smile. This won't be so bad. Cut to four weeks down the road when Kakashi hires them to wash his dogs for the 3rd time annonsomsly.

Pakkun is tired of these brats being so rough, so he goes "I can't believe Kakashi hired you all again" The room goes quiet. Iruka bites his cheek to keep from laughing. Naruto explodes. Sakura and Sasuke join him. They're throwing wet sponges everywhere

It's chaos and loud and everything is sogged and Kakashi races onto the scene like "stop this!!!" Naruto throws a soggy sponge at him like "you stop hiring us to wash yoyr dogs!!!"

Iruka is laughing his was off as Kakashi and Naruto argue over the benefit of this job. Sakura and Sasuke resume washing the dogs. Pakkun regrets.

By the end of it, Kakashi is serving dinner in the hatake mansion to his previous students and their new teacher and all his dogs. He says he hates it but he's lying

ESPECIALLY WHEN THE CUTE JOUNIN SENSEI OFFERS HIS ASSITANCE. god damn you could bounce a yen off that man's ass

Now Iruka gets them a super cool mission bc they won't stop complaining - Sasuke has started voicing his opinions dear gods - they're escorting an old guy to the wave country

He repeats himself like "children. This is work and you need to be responsible. We are protecting a civilian from harm. Don't be a hero. You will die."

So Zabuza shows up like EYYY LEMME AT EM and Naruto almost dies ish but yo look at that kyubii magic. Haku shows up like "thanks for that" and they all leave

They make it to their destination but can't go home because there's a shitty storm and so Iruka teaches the kids how to climb trees like the monkeys they oughta be

But like, he not only gives them the basics, but a lecture on it too so maybe visualising the process in their head will help. He gets them to try walking along the walls barefoot - they pretty much succeed

So he takes them into the wilderness like "now try that on these trees" and Sakura fucking masters it in one go.

Sasuke and Naruto return to Iruka for instruction, and Iruka rubs his chin like "alright, you both learn by doing, yeah, so here's what we do" and constructs this obstacle course in the woods for them

He's got a thin board over a puddle of mud like "you can stay on using balance, but if i don't see you walk across as you would on ground, you're getting pushed off."

So Sasuke ends up fighting it out before Naruto and Naruto gets crabby bc of it, but now Sasuke and Sakura are very interested in keeping him on par with their skills. So they give him tips and pointers. Iruka couldn't be more proud

On the day Naruto gets it, and they decide to take their training to the water - the gang attacks. And it's solved in like zero minutes bc Iruka is a seals master and thanks to barrier tag traps everything is ok

They all get arrested and somehow Zabuza and Haku flee but no one is too worried bc they're together and that's all that matters

So they stick around to help construction - Iruka thinks it'll give them more stamina and there's chakra control practice by walking on the water. Which they all get sorta, Naruto sinks a little but he's still upright so!

They return to little fan fare but Kakashi's dumb worrying face that is the same as his regular face but u can tell bc his eyes are a little more open. He treats them to ichiraku

Team 7 is like "Kakashi watch this!" And the three of them are walking up the walls and ceiling of his dining room like cicadas and he might cry if Iruka wasn't laughing

"They named the bridge after Naruto!" He says, "I did all the work and he gets the name bc he's too likable!" Kakashi smiles fondly under his mask like 'ain't that the truth'

So circa chunin exams Iruka has taught them more neat ninja skills - Sasuke finds seals to be hella interesting, Sakura has apparently some super rare bloodline and Kakashi's old friend is giving her lessons on that and Naruto is....

Naruto is interested in summoning. He likes the idea of calling things into existence. Kakashi won't help by explaining how his ninken summoning works and Gai's student Tenten isnt too hot on tutorial either

So Iruka has been writing letters up the Wahoo to Jiraiya to try and get the man's help. "Come back." He pleads. "Naruto wants to summon."

So Jiraiya returns solely to fight Iruka for being a nag. Literally. "Iruka Umino you're just like your mother. Annoying." Iruka flicks a smoke bomb at the old man and they play this game of cat and mouse

Only each time Iruka uses a smoke bomb, he's been planting a barrier seal attached to a kunai that's been laced with chakra wire. He's weaving a basket around Jiraiya and catches the old fart in 40 minutes

Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Kakashi and Tenzou stare in awe. Iruka just did that. "Naruto, this man will teach you how to summon frogs. Have fun" and leaves. The audience stares at the space he had been and Jiraiya snorts.

So this is how Jiraiya teaches Naruto how to summon. Sasuke vows to be as good as Iruka one day. Sakura and Tenzou build a dog house for Kakashi's dogs. And Kakashi finds Iruka alone at the noodle stand

He's like "whyd you leave like that" "Oh you see, you have to leave Jiraiya alone with what you want him to do. It's the only way." "No really" "Ok I was starving and am not going to pay for Naruto's bottomless pit let alone four more mouths"

And they have a weird date and discuss the upcoming Curnin exams. They agree the kids would be good to go. Iruka laments he idea of getting stuck in a scroll for three days - hes a busy man (and ex anbu! Like!) and Kakashi takes his shoulder "I'll do it"

So they make plans that if their kids try the chunin exams and pass the first round - Kakashi will be there in the scroll for when they pass. It has been decided.

So when the exams get announced, Naruto has one animal summon, Sasuke has five neat barrier tricks and ten more up for circumstance and Sakura can create and will wooden blocks. Plus they all have stellar chakra control!

Iruka thinks they're good to fucking go. Plus he's socialized them well so they shouldn't be picking fights with other Konoha shinobi bc they think they're better than them. He scoffs, imagine, Sasuke picking a fight with Rock Lee! What a weird world that'd be!

They're weirded put by the sand sibs but like, this is before Power of Friendship Gaara so who isn't, really. Iruka's already planning playdates bc jinjurikis should prob stick together, ya know, bond with those who know your suffering

Kakashi is looking over Iruka's shoulder like "dont. Do not write that. Gaara will not come over - he's the Wind's tailed beast we can't trust him"

So the kids pass their first test. Naruto just fakes it, doesn't write nothing, completely confident. Sakura and Sasuke get everything filled out with the correct answers.

So Kakashi gets wasted the night before he goes into the seal. Iruka shows up like at 8 like "don't forget! The thing is tomorrow" And by the power of booze, joy and fondness he kisses Iruka smack on the lips.

They pull apart, Iruka dazzled and looking a little deshelved, Kakashi a dumb love struck smile, and Kakashi closes the door humming.

Iruka kind of staggers home. Lost. Confused. Warm. Light. Cheeks burning and a smiling tugging at his weary frown.

So now it's morning of the second exam, Kakashi is fighting off a mild hangover and as he's getting set up to do the thing, he catches Iruka skirt around the room, why isn't he saying hello --- oh no.

So he's stuck in the scroll - idk can they do stuff in that void, are they just sleeping, suspended animation - for what feels like forever

Iruka HAS NOT been avoiding Kakashi bc of last night's kiss. Nah, he forgot it happened until he made coffee. He's just literally on security detail and can't say hello bc anbu mask - why is Kakashi staring at him???

Kakashi seems to know that he's the monkey or sm bc he won't take his eyes off him and it's pissing Iruka off so he blows the dumb man a kiss He sartles out of his trance and looks away. Iruka rolls his eyes and Anko takes his attention.

Later she's going to seriously ask him if he and Kakashi are a thing. He is going to sputter his beer into her face. She is going to pull a knife and go "try that again lover boy and you won't have any lips" Gods she's awful

So as a weird brother figure, he confirms that they have had one (1) kiss and that he catches Kakashi refer to team 7 as "their kids" often

Anko's grin might tear her face in two. "I win! That's so much money! No one thought you'd go for lazy chunin sensei Kakashi Hatake BUT I CALLED IT!" Iruka is so shocked he can't ask her to be quiet or how ---- "Come on, I know your type, family men."

He diverts the conversation to the examination bc holy shit he can't deal with any of this information. "You met Naruto today didn't you?" "Oh yeah, that kids a riot. Almost had him shit his pants. Good kid."

Iruka buys her a drink for that. Can't have that kid too comfortable around strangers. So they get off their break and return to work. Anko's going back to the tower and Iruka is going to patrol.

Nothing worth noting on the go, pretty quiet and nice, kinda worrying bc of all the foreign ninja - they /all/ can't be this chill can they??? So Iruka clocks out and heads to his fave ramen stand

Anko slithers in after he orders his second bowl and she's like "the money from the bet." He looks at her like 'why aren't you using this to buy more dango??'

"Look I was the only other person besides Asuma who bet on Kakashi. Out of our group" Iruka grimaces, all the ninja in the village have been placing bets on his love life. "So split between me and Asuma, I still have 5000 yen left. Figured to give you half"

"What because you can make easy money off of my love life?" "Nonsense! I still haven't decided what to bet on for your love life!" She looks out of existence like a true shadow clone and Iruka uses the 2500 yen to buy more ramen

What had happened was that Asuma had seen Iruka dressed in his anbu monkey mask entertaining a sullen Kakashi years and years ago. He told Anko one night, piss drunk and now they support it

Iruka doesn't remember the encounter, there's so much bs from being a child in anbu that makes him forget the good times. Kakashi recalls clearly that summer's day when Monkey tried to cheer him up.

Kakashi has the sharingan, but it's also dead. He was able to become a teacher bc he was useless and not an asset to the village.

So depression and ptsd from loosing his friends and family took it's toll and now he thinks it best if he can help teach these children so that maybe these mistakes won't happen again

Anyway so the kids breeze through the forest of certain death like a cake walk, got through as the 4th team they were so good at it Sakura punched kabuto in the face on reflex and he dropped his scroll and since Iruka hadn't introduced them, they dont trust him lmao

They do the scroll thing and out pops Kakashi Sensei with the most stupid smile on his face like "yo. Congrats, you passed" and it's kinda the least climatic thing to happen to them all week.

So the four of them hang around the tower until it's finished - Kakashi has no where to be, he had booked a week off for this. So the kids share with him their new skills - and he supervises spars between the kids who've finished.

The sand sibs end up watching the leaf genin fight each other, and Kakashi asks them if they want to join in. "It'll be like class!" The rookie nine all groan, fuck you Kakashi sensei

So he organises a short spar competition. Five minutes each fight and no weapons, no shots to kill. He includes Gaara in on it and kankuro and temari freeze up. Gaara just nods, slightly pissy but also confused.

So he's got the sand genin and the leaf genin play fighting each other while they wait for the actual fights to clear up. It's not until Rock Lee and Naruto are giving Gaara of the Sand taijutsu pointers that the irony dawns on him.

Monkey shows up like "Hatake-sensei what the fuck is going on here" and Kakashi is no where near afraid of the anbu in the room But the fight stops dead Naruto pipes up "eeeehhhh we're just socializing properly Iruka-sensei, what's the big deal" Everyone stops. Kakashi chokes

Iruka laughs, takes off his mask and smashes it, "well, so much for that." He looks at the group if kids with a big smile, "So are you all being nice to each other?"

We have Shino and Kankuro gushing ab bugs, in the corner, the girls all huddled together like they were always meant to be best friends, Rock Lee and Naruto and Sasuke talking to Gaara like he's not some monster

Kiba and Neiji were just in the middle of a mock flight, still froze stiff. Naruto goes "yes /daaad/ now go kiss Kakashi sensei or something, we're on to something here" And he turns back to the other boys like nothing he just said was life changing.

Iruka sits back down next to kakashi, who has picked up the shards of the mask and the kids continue existing as if they didn't have any supervision

"Was it really that obvious?" Iruka asks. Kakashi isn't sure what he's asking about, be it Monkey, their dumb mutual crush or their family fondness over these brats. But the answer is the same to all of these questions. "Yeah,"

So they watch Neiji and Kiba fight, then watch Ino and Temari spar, their hands lightly laced together as Kakashi hides his face behind a book

Eventually Naruto gets loud and very agitated, Iruka goes over to check on him. "It's the stupid seal, me n Sasuke can't fix it" Turns out Gaara has his stomach exposed to display the shoddiest seal work ever.

"Do you want me to do it?" "See knucklehead, I said Iruka sensei would know what to do!" "Yeah but he's my damn friend I wanna be the one to help!" Iruka smiles and almost cries bc Naruto is so honest and gaara looks startled

Temari and kankuro join them like "you can… Help him??" As if they can't believe the words coming out of his mouth Iruka nods, "it's a simple seal, but I can patch it up and add more so that it doesn't wear away." They look to be near tears

Naruto grins and looks to his new friend like "See, told ya, we jinjuriki gotta stay together" and Gaara looks so lost, the poor boy. So Kakashi suanders over like "damnit Iruka"

So Iruka whips up a draft to show them, explains what it does, compares it to Naruto's and Gaara's, all the kids are pretty engrossed with what he's saying and Sasuke is writing notes

We're back tracking to the first time team Naru-Sasu-Saku meet Iru

So Iruka's like "ah yes hello I'm Iruka Umino, I'll be your jounin instructor - if you pass my own genin examination. If not, you're all getting sent back to the academy! But I'd like to meet you all first"

So they do the thing they do in canon, where Sakura goes "I like Sasuke" Naruto goes "I'm gonna be the Hokage" and Sasuke does his "I want revenge" bc he's been festering in hate for the last 82 years

But instead of "oh well you're all weird kids" Iruka almost looses his mind and almost sends them all back then and there

Alright, alright, he goes, you're all children, but these things aren't gonna help you become ninja. Naruto, your goal is admirable, good, that's good. Least stupid. Tells me how far you're willing to go.

Sakura, you being in love tells me you can form bonds - which is good for teamwork, but you need to take it back a bit, and bond with your other team mates as well.

And then he turns to Sasuke. Revenge will not help you. You will not gain anything from that. Bad things are always happening and there's never any reason for it. He tells off Sasuke for his bs bc Iruka doesn't have a filter and will fight these kids

And the kids are like Sasuke: offended Sakura: offended Natuto: laughing his ass off

"I'd like to send you all back to the academy for this but! I said I was gonna give you all a chance to be full fledged genin. So! Here's my test!" And makes this weird quiz thing that is sorta like the bell test where the goal is for them to display teamwork 5:59 PM · Dec 3, 2017