#grey-ace

[glorybax]

So like I told my very allosexual bisexual disaster of a man last night that I can "take or leave sex" and it was pretty difficult to gauge his reaction to that LOL.

Like if it's coming from him it's a yes, but I won't look for it elsewhere because like I just. Don't care enough.

I'm Grey-Ace lol. Sure I enjoy sex when we do it but it's just another activity to me, and it's pretty damn rare that I'll initiate it these days.

It's not a NEED to me like it is for him. I can go without it, I don't crave it really. Sometimes I'm in the mood and want it, but i can very easily change my mind.

Idk, just felt like getting this off my chest. I definitely wanted it more often before I got pregnant. It became a painful experience and I don't like that. It's taken a while to get feeling good about it again. And then there is my knees issue because I can't hold certain positions that maximise pleasure for us both because my legs are useless.

Ramblings of a disabled bi-grey-ace.

[aroaceconfessions]

I’m Arospec in a complicated way and acespec in an even more complicated way and I wish someday we could see more characters who aren’t just aroace, but on the spectrums in their own unique way, like so many of us are.

Submitted May 25, 2023

[beyond-mogai-pride-flags]

Gray Stripe Asexual Pride Flag

Gray Stripe Asexual: acespec individuals represented by the grey stripe in the asexual flag.

This may overlap with greysexuality or mesi asexuality.

[bloomshroomz]

Alternative Greysexual Flag

More info below the cut.

I've identified as greysexual off and on. I'm not asexual, but I'm not necessarily allosexual either, though I relate to aspects of both asexuality and allosexuality. I'm still debating whether the term "greysexual" is right for me, or whether I should just leave the "how" of my sexuality neutral/unlabeled, but I feel like greysexual is applicable.

Edit: I've decided that I'm primarily sticking with neu aro, but I'm greysexual if it's brought up. I resonate with greysexuality in a "not asexual, but not necessarily allosexual either" way. I engage with and relate to both communities, but neither feels entirely right. If I were forced to place myself into an ace-allosexual binary for whatever reason, I'd go with allosexual, but greysexual feels most accurate. My sexuality exists in its own grey area. As for which spectra I fall under, I'd say greysexual-spec first, allosexual-spec second, and ace-spec last. Preferably just neu aro though.

I like the common greysexual flag, but I feel like it represents a very specific version of greysexuality. Purple represents asexuality, grey represents a transition between asexuality and allosexuality, and white represents allosexuality. The flag conveys the experience of being asexual, then experiencing brief allosexuality, then going back to asexuality once again. I wanted to make something that felt more broad, and better encompassing of different greysexual experiences, including my own.

So, here's what I made:

Stripes get thinner towards the center to represent how it can be difficult to pin point where one falls on this spectrum, and how identities/experiences can blur together. You can think of this as a flag in which the stripes overlapped so much that they started to take up the same space.

The stripes are desaturated, representing greysexuality and the various "shades of grey" in the greysexual spectrum. This desaturation can also convey a sense of fuzziness, unclearness, or blurriness that some greysexuals experience.

Purple represents asexuality, and red/pink represents allosexuality. Some stripes are tinted with purple or red/pink to represent greysexual people who identify as ace-spec and/or allo-spec, respectively. Other stripes have no tint, representing greysexual people who identify as neither ace-spec nor allo-spec. The placement of these colors is not important to the symbolism; greysexuality is not a clean line from ace to allo.

I don't really expect people to use this flag, but you're welcome to if you wish! It's public domain, and credit is not needed.

[insipid-drivel]

Intimacy is a very strange, yet wonderful, thing to experience.

I’m very asexual and sex-neutral. My partner, who just moved in, is demi. We met all the way back in 2005 (neither of us can remember the exact moment we met anymore; there’s before we met, and after we met as far as we’re concerned), and while we’ve only been living together for a few days now, it’s been wonderful. I’m a writer with a crappy musculoskeletal system, and he’s a retired veteran that’s taken a lot of combat-related damage.

I get chronic pain a lot, particularly when I’m stressed. My tendons suck and tend to seize up from ankle to shoulder and sometimes triggers nasty muscle spasms that race up and down my back and even around my ribcage. Sort of like Lucifer’s corset, except I know Lucifer is nicer that. They suck, but I’ve had them for so long that I really don’t comment on them anymore.

This morning I had a bad one. You know how chronic pain can compound into epic amounts of fatigue? Yeah. While sharing a home with someone I’ve known, loved, and adored on varying levels and scales across the past 17-18 years has been great, it doesn’t mean it can’t be stressful and catch up with me before I can start to relax into the new swing of things.

But this one was really bad. I was so exhausted from fighting the pain in my crappy, crappy sleep my eyes were practically welded shut when I woke up this morning. My partner was right beside me and is a prolific cuddler, as well as a sufferer of chronic pain himself from old bullet wounds and a shoulder that was nearly blown apart by a mortar blast. I very vaguely, as I was feeling the real bite of the pain hitting, felt him touch along my shoulders and back. Assuming it was nothing more than affectionate good-morning caresses, I just tried to let myself go back to sleep.

Suddenly, I’m being rotated to lie down flat on my stomach. I made a noise of complaint, and received a tut in response before I heard the miniature jackhammer of a motor in a (genuine) therapeutic massager.

It wasn’t sexy at all. This wasn’t the kind of massager that is just labeled “massager” to avoid marketing restrictions online. He found one of the worst knots in my hamstrings and dug the jackhammering head of it into the back of my thigh. 

I practically shouted with pain as the sensation knocked the wind out of me. He gently told me to hang in there and to remember to breathe - which I had forgotten to do. He gave me his free hand to squeeze as each godawful knot I didn’t even know I had in places I had never thought were relevant to my back pains was almost literally hammered out of my muscle and connective tissue.

After almost half an hour of half-excruciating, half-soothing deep tissue massage, he got up and ran me a bath and told me to get up and soak while he made breakfast. By the time I wobbled out of the bathroom and slumped onto the couch in the living room, I had a plate of eggs, toast, and hashbrowns in front of me.

Then he dragged me out for another half hour, minimum, of walking. The entire time, he kept hold of my hand. Even when I cursed under my breath at being so tired and tender all over, he nonetheless encouraged me to walk with him up steeper inclines than I would’ve liked. By the time we got back to our door, he asked me if my back still hurt.

When I hesitated to answer, he cheerfully said, “Seems like you’re starting to feel better! That means it’s time for another lap!”

“Damn you,” I grumbled, but walk we did, and I nearly fell asleep sitting upright when we got back inside at last.

He immediately began planning a high-protein meal for later while I remained doughy and sleepy. “You’re fatigued. You need protein,” he kept saying, and then motioned back toward the hallway to our room with a mixing spoon and instructed me to lie down and rest a little more.

By the time he came back to our bedroom to have a shower of his own, my back felt better and I had perked up rather than nodded off to sleep like I expected. As he left the bathroom and got dressed, it finally registered, and I had to ask:

“Wait... I never said I was hurting. How could you tell?”

He shrugged at me. “You were holding yourself really tensely in your sleep, and then you were struggling to wake up with me when we always wake up at the same time together. You were in pain. It’s my job to fix that.”

[notjustanymahogany]

I exclusively experience sexual attraction for comedic effect, which is expressed by a violent burst of blood from my nose, and nothing else

[fixing-bad-posts]

Asexuality is a spectrum. No two asexuals are the same 🖤🩶🤍💜

[matcha-milo]

I want a relationship that is completely undefinable by any existing labels or words. Like, we're so close and we hug and kiss each other's foreheads and cuddle and travel and explore together, and we get along so well and have so much in common. But at the same time, our relationship isn't fully romantic or fully platonic; it's a completely separate, open-to-interpretation thing that we tweaked as needed, and we have our own boundaries and things we are and aren't comfortable with, and we respect each other in every way, shape, and form.

[dingbatontherun]

Ace Pride! 🖤🩶🤍💜 [Gray-Ace/Grey-Ace here]

shout out to all the bitches NOT having gay sex this pride month

[greykolla-art]

⚠️Please don’t touch the sexy deer, it’s not flirting with you. ⚠️

I’ve got a thing for Vox being a fuckboi who keeps thinking their tension is gonna lead to hate sex. 😂

[aroaceconfessions]

Am I asexual, or have I been conditioned to feel shame/disgust when the topic of sex is discussing, in addition to my complete revulsion in ever being viewed as sexually desirable? I’m leaning towards the “yes I’m somewhere on the ace spectrum”, but at the same time I find it difficult/overwhelming to analyze every potential romantic feeling I remember having and trying to parse out what sort of attraction it was.

Like I’ve experienced sexual attraction for only one real person, and that was my partner in my first relationship. I knew their attraction to me included sexually, and I do think I reciprocated, just with different expectations for intimacy. But I also know that that attraction never surpassed that fear of sex while in the relationship??

Besides that, I seldom perceive anyone as “sexy”, real or fictional (a reason I don’t often engage in fandom hype). But I swear there have been a couple of fictional characters that I do find attractive in that way?? And I’ve ever had dreams involving sex?

So demi? Gray? Idk

Submitted June 23, 2023

[hirakyun13]

This man has me in a chokehold

[it-couldbe-worse]

Appreciation post for this lineup of flags that is fuckin rad and now lives rent free in my head

[aroacearchangel]

hey. do whatever you want btw. it’s your identity. kiss people for fun. enjoy sex. nobody’s stopping you. being aro and/or ace doesn’t mean you have to be repulsed by romantic or sexual activities if you don’t want to.

and also! things only mean what you meant them to mean. you can have platonic sex and platonically make out with your friends. it’s true. just be sure to communicate so that everyone involved understands and you’re good.

[itsme-inbooks]

I just accept that I'm gray-ace yesterday... And I cried. A lot. With my bf.

It is a lot to process and I feel overwhelmed and a lot is happening and why am I coming to this truth right like? Like, there is a lot happening in my life I didn't need more. I just need a rest.

And I don't think I'm ready to tell anyone. Just my bf. Also, I don't think anyone but my bf should care(?

i was going to make a cool post for ace day, but my mental illness is the worst it's been in years right now, so i'm just going to say this: if you're ace and you're stuck at the bottom of a hole too, i see you. please survive.

[theshadownarrator]

We win