#not only did it give me the opportunity to make my hobby into a side hussle but i also found myself greatly comforted by this blog

[anantaru]

do you think kaveh would like women? asking bc i keep seeing ppl say kaveh would only be interested in men and i’m a woman who rlly likes him and i’m feeling particularly sensitive today 😭 u dont have to answer (ofc!) i just felt like asking you bc i like you and your thoughts

I FORGOT TO ANSWER THIS ASK BUT KAVEH LIKES YOU FOR YOU, HE LIKES AND LOVES YOU AND CHERISHES YOU 💓 i think i already said something similar but no sexuality is confirmed (PSPSPSPSO THEY ARE NOT and it's okay to have headcanons and opinions just don't push them down someone's throat)

and people desperately trying to ruin a ship for others because they do not agree on it is just insanity to me. again, kaveh and others are pixels, they aren't real and you can headcanon them however you like and kaveh (or any other character) likes you because of you, you can write them how you want and imagine them how you want 🙇🏻‍♀️ if anybody actually gets mad at this they automatically confirm to me that they do not have other things to worry about besides fighting over a pixel in a video game that should bring joy and comfort and a way to escape from real life struggles at least for a little while 💓

[alexanderwales]

The Digital Corpse

I always read about what school shooters or wannabe assassins have to say. I read or at least skim through manifestos, most of which are really poorly written and usually just have badly misunderstood ideas that are copy-pasted from diverse places. I read social media posts and discord logs, where available. Some of this is morbid fascination that I don't endorse, but some of it is the impulse to understand how and why a thing like this happened.

So I've been following the news on Trump's would-be assassin, and to all appearances he was just a kid who was bullied at school and didn't have a lot of hobbies, skills, talents, or friends. He wanted power and control and had no way to get it, and I think there's something to the notion that a lot of white men think that their whiteness or maleness means they're owed something. When Trump came to town, it was opportunity falling into his lap. If you're 20 years old and feeling like the world cares nothing for you, then yeah, I can see why you'd take your shot. It's a way of being famous, of going out with a bang, and young men often feel invincible anyway. The shocking thing is that it almost worked, and that seems to be down to incompetence and complacency.

But if it had worked, and they hadn't immediately shot him to death, he'd have gotten all the worst parts of fame (in addition to what would probably be life in prison). In death he's got intense scrutiny of everything he's ever posted online. There are reports about how sad and lonely he was. If he'd succeeded, maybe there would be some on the left who would idolize him, but as it stands ... I can imagine wanting to be megafamous, but I cannot imagine wanting it to be like this. It was almost certainly different in his imagination though, a grand moment that would give meaning to his life and demonstrate that he did, in fact, have power.

And of course the whole thing will be forgotten in a week or two. A year from now you'll say the name "Thomas Crooks" and people will say "huh, that ... do I know that name?"

On the other side of things, there's Corey Comperatore. He was the other person to die that day, just a random guy who had attended a Trump rally and got hit by a bullet because from one specific angle he was standing behind Trump. If Thomas Crooks left almost nothing behind to make sense of his life, Corey Comperatore left behind what feels like a lot. The fame is more double-edged. He's lauded as a hero by some, even if the only thing he did was catch a stray. Generously, that's a way of making sense of things: just like it's not enough for Crooks to be alienated and dejected, it's not enough for Comperatore to just be someone who was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

But Corey Comperatore is also having his life torn open, or at least the parts of it that he put online. Posting online was something he probably did without thinking too much about it. The worst one, for me, was him saying that the Palestinians would "get over it" like the Japanese did. It's something I think about a lot in the social media age, the picture that people would get if they went looking through all our posts, if they were trying to make a picture of you from the things you've left behind. If you died in a very public way, what's the worst post you've ever made? What would people find ironic? But of course you don't need to die, we're in an era where anyone can get flash famous by random happenstance. And of course in the modern day we want the delicious little morsels, the worst thing you've ever said, the most ironic, most iconic, most infuriating sound bite that can represent a whole person. Anything more anodyne is pointless, even if that's the bulk of someone's life.

I'm probably a little unusual in terms of digital fingerprints. I'm active on discords, I've written some four million words of fiction, and my reddit comment karma is in the six figure range, which probably means that I've got something like fifty thousand comments. I talk a lot. But I do think about being torn apart like that, what would happen if I were famous for a day before the news cycle moved on, if there were hundreds or thousands of people trying to make sense of me.

When I die, if anyone has reason to go snooping through my history, I hope there's a good-looking corpse.

[mermazing-art]

The real name of the Furious Five 

After the Kung Fu Panda 4 movie I started thinking about what Zhen's first conversations with the Furious Five would be like. I imagined her nervous about making a good impression but fitting quite well with her group dynamic given her mischievous attitude and enjoying their adventures with her, establishing a relationship of trust. Which led me to a thought "Would she, wanting to know them more, ask them what their real names are?"

This theory has been circulating in the fandom for years since it is said that their names actually refer to their fighting styles or their species (as well as Master Ox, Crocodile or Rhino) since those who retain their own name within this discipline are those who have a superior role such as Oogway, Shifu or Po and those who do not have a title such as Zhen or Tai Lung.

Well, I decided to look for a suitable name for each one, one that fit their physique or personality, that was easy to remember and that would distinguish one another, let's go!

Mantis: Xun Yu ( fast jade )

With Mantis I was clear that I didn't want to look for anything that had to do with his size but I did want to highlight his most powerful abilities such as his speed.  That's where his first name, Xun, comes from.  His middle name, Yu (Jade), is because of his green color although this can also mean ''insect'' depending on the kanji with which it is written.  My idea is that Mantis calls himself ''the green lightning'' referring to his real name.

Crane: Zimo ( refined ink )

At first I wanted his name to be related to the sky or the air due to his avian species or his techniques, but it made me think that one of the things that catches my attention about this character is his interest in Chinese calligraphy.  Therefore, I decided to name him Zimo (ink or writing) to reflect his beloved hobby in his name.

Monkey: Wong Sang ( yellow mulberry )

For Monkey, I researched his voice actor, the one and only Jackie Chan, born Chan Kong-Sang. I wanted to take it as a reference by changing the name Kong since it is the name of the Monkey's brother to Wong (yellow), relating it to the color of his fur. I wanted to make a reference to his comic side but I couldn't find a suitable name for the guidelines I had assigned to it.

Viper: Jia Ling ( beautiful tinkle )

As with Monkey, I researched on her voice actress, Lucy Liu, whose full name is Lucy Alexis Liu Yu Ling. I wanted to reflect her charming and sweet personality, so I took the name Ling (tinkerbell) as a reference of the hiss' snake she produces, as well as her happy attitude.  But her first name would be Jia to emphasize the beauty of this character.

Tigress: Xia ( sunrise )

For her, I thought I would delve deeper into her story and her development as a character in order to give her the appropriate name.  This is her story:

When Tigress lived in the orphanage, she received the name Xian ("who lives in seclusion") from the other children perpetuating their contempt and fear of her. When Shifu finally decided to adopt her, after He heard that name many times, almost always accompanied by the word "monster", he asked her what new name she would like. She simply accepted Tigress because she didn't believe she could deserve a name. Shifu pondered and decided to call him Xia. Tigress at first didn't like this idea because it sounded similar to the previous one, but Shifu explained his choice to her. Both names, although similar, did not have the same meaning because now she would no longer be in the darkness, secluded and alone, but rather she had the opportunity for a new life, a path marked by the light that emanated from her, a new sunrise.

So yes, Zhen would ask the furious five their names, giving the situation that Po would find out right then and there about this. Everyone except Tigress would answer this question since for her it is still a very personal matter related to her past and Shifu and she still doesn't feel comfortable sharing it with everyone. Could Tigress talk to a certain panda about this?

[salty-croissants]

Could you write headcanons fluffy/romantic of rayman or Ramon please and thank you

Thank you so much for the request , it’s actually my first one :D

Hope this turned out well ! 

I ended up splitting up the headcanons given how different both personalities are , hope that’s okay ! 

Details : use of gender neutral reader ; 

established relationships ; 

some swear words are present in Ramon’s part , but other than that no warnings are needed

Rayman 🧡

Given the fact that Rayman has felt incredibly lonely pretty much his whole life , as soon as you showed him genuine kindness and interest in him without focusing on his fame he immediately took a liking to you : 

despite his seemingly very smooth demeanor , he was actually very nervous about confessing his eventual feelings for you , terrified of being rejected yet again … 

But that wasn’t the case , and let me tell you , Rayman will forever treasure the moment you told him those 4 words he was so afraid of never hearing from anyone in his life . 

He wants to know everything you like , and by everything I mean absolutely everything : 

Rayman loves to listen to you gushing about your passions and hobbies , and if you ever need something specific you will find it on your desk with an almost unnatural quickness …

< Wh - are those the acrylics I mentioned just a few minutes ago ? > 

< They sure are ! I also made sure to get you all the colors I could get my hands on , now you’ll have no trouble finishing your piece . > 

 < Ray , thank you so much ! You shouldn’t have … > 

< Anything for you , honey ~ > 

Whenever the two of you go out on a date , Rayman definitely doesn’t waste the opportunity to bring you to the most amazing ( and low key expensive ) places in the city , and this especially happened during your first dates : he really , really wanted to leave a good impression on you , though if you tell him that you’d rather spend time with him in a more quiet place he definitely won’t be unhappy to hang out either at his lounge or at your place … 

He wants you to be comfortable with him at all times .

I like to think that Rayman loves to receive kisses on his nose : whenever you walk by him and surprise him with one , this man will positively melt … 

You will definitely earn a cuddling session for when he’s done with his shows . 

He loves to hold your hand whenever you go outside , also as a way to show everyone around that this lovely person is with him , JUST him .

Some might see this as a bit excessive , but regardless of how long you two have been together Rayman is deep down still worried that he might not be good enough and that you might leave him someday , so if you reassure him on this you will definitely make him happy …

< You know I won’t ever leave you , right Ray ? You’re the only one for me , this won’t ever change . > 

< Heh … I know y/n … thank you . > 

Ramon 🖤

Now that he knows that he’s been used by Eden all these years , Ramon’s once cheerful demeanor has definitely changed a lot … but his love for you didn’t : 

the fact that you’re choosing to stay by his side despite the dangers that you two might have to face just makes his adoration for you grow even more , and he wants to make sure that no one will dare to hurt his sweetheart .

He might need to be comforted more often … 

Ramon feels horrible about letting all those terrible things Eden did just slip by him , so when the guilt becomes too much he just walks over to you and buries his face in your chest , your genuinely loving words and the sound of your heartbeat giving him a peace that nothing else is able to make him feel .

< You couldn’t have known , love … if Eden tricked you , it’s not something you can blame yourself for . We’ll figure this out , I promise . > 

< … thank you y/n … I … really needed this . > 

< Don’t mention it , Ram . >

If you’re feeling cold , no matter how many degrees it is outside and how much you protest , Ramon will cover you up with his coat .

< Stop it ! It’s freezing out here , you can’t just - > 

< I can … and I will . > 

< Uh , I don’t think so ! 

Here , give me a second … 

There , we can just share it , no reason for you to be cold . > 

< I … 

Pfft … I love you so much y/n . > 

< I love you too , Ram ~ > 

If you ever do get actually hurt by someone ? 

Ohh boy , whoever did it is in trouble … 

Ramon is going to track them down no matter how long it takes , and you better believe he’ll blow so many holes in them that not even their corpse will be remotely recognizable .

< N-no ! PLEASE HAVE MERCY !!! > 

< Heh … should’ve thought about that before putting your hands on y/n , you FUCKING BASTARD ! > 

After he’s done with making the person resign from life , Ramon is going to immediately come back to you to stay by your side if you’ve been badly wounded , constantly apologizing for not being able to keep you safe and also telling you to never ever do something that dangerous again . 

Ramon loves you so much , he just doesn’t know what he’d do with himself if you were gone …

Ramon has grown to become even more physically affectionate than before , and whenever the two of you have are alone for a moment he will just hold you in his arms , giving you loving kisses while whispering sweet nothings in your ear , his deep voice rarely failing to make you blush …

< y/n , you’re so beautiful … I never want to lose you , you’re the one thing keeping me sane in this goddamn hellhole … you’re my everything … > 

He keeps this to himself , but the reason Ramon does this is also because he isn’t even sure if the two of you are going to survive your mission of getting rid of all the oppressors of hybrids in the city .

He wants his moments with you to be engraved in his memory , because if everything were to fall apart the next day he would at least remember his beloved before the end …

You’re his very own ray of hope , after all . 

[papergirllife]

Liu Yang Yang

Yandere! Fanboy Yang Yang x Idol! Reader

‘He was the fanboy at the front of the show, but he’s not satisfied’

warnings: stalking, threats towards someone (not mc), unprotected sex, knife play, cream pie, yandere obsessive behaviour, morally grey characters, etc.

DON’T LIKE, DON’T READ, HATE MESSAGES WOULD BE DELETED, THANK YOU.

word count: 11k

Your tired eyes were still fighting the sleepiness behind your lids as you read the comments on the side of the screen, your fans using this opportunity to appreciate your face up close, no make up on and only a single study lamp on, but still your complexion was almost flawless, well, to Yang Yang and some of the fellow fans that love you just as much anyways.

“Thank you everyone who spent their precious time with me, it’s been a hectic time lately, and I think you guys have some really accurate speculations behind the reason why,” you said with a cute wink to the camera of your new desktop, the same one Yang Yang gifted you, “and lastly, I’d like to thank MienYang, my fansite for gifting me this new monitor, you really didn’t have to, my old one only had slight glitches,” you said, to which Yang Yang remembers, flashing back to the last live you did with your old monitor, the camera quality was shit, “and I hope the rest of you have a good night’s rest, fighting for tomorrow! Bye!” you said, ending your live.

Yang Yang sits back in his leather chair, releasing a content sigh, he always feels all his stress of the day seep out of his body whenever he’s watched your lives, it was even better than therapy, not that he’ll ever tell his therapist this.

Yang Yang likes to call himself your biggest fan, although he’s new considered the fact that your group isn’t, he likes to think that he found you at the perfect time when he needed you.

Yang Yang is the head of his father’s electronics company here in Seoul, his company produces chips and motherboards for big brands that are much too lazy to make and manage their own factories anymore, which would explain the expansion to here in South Korea after sealing a deal with the biggest mobile brand here, it was a tough time for him, adjusting to a new environment with only the basics of the foreign language he had crammed into his head as per his father’s orders.

He was so stressed about the business that one day he randomly passed by this stadium with resellers outside selling tickets for more than two times the price, he couldn’t give a flying fuck at first, but when he heard the last minute rehearsal going on from behind the walls, he impulsively bought a ticket, his excuse being that he heard a voice that sounded like an angel, and so he bought the front row seats to the concert, Yang Yang only knows of the older groups from his teenage years, so he thought of this as an impulsive purchase and nothing more to destress, but when he laid eyes on the face of the owner, he knew he was in for another fan experience he had went through for exo.

You were angelic in the opening song, an upbeat cheerful song performed by your group to hype up the atmosphere, but a few songs later, the concept started to change, to a mysterious and somewhat sexy one, he didn’t know your group was so versatile, and needless to say, you shined the most, with your hooded eyes and occasional lip bites accompanied by the teasing rolls of your hips to the choreography, Yang Yang knew he had to have you no matter the price.

And so he let himself fall into the rabbit hole of you, researching about your entire background, where you’re from, your hobbies, your favourite food, your favourite colour, name it, he knows, even your weight and blood type.

None of his employees or his father’s lackies know about this obsession of his, of course, god forbid his father knowing, he’d be shipped back to Germany piece by piece.

Yang Yang, to mask his identity, adorns in all black attire whenever he follows you to your schedules in his identity of your new fansite, he never stalked you, Yang Yang has a company to manage, he only follows you to official schedules, like music shows and sometimes award shows, he has to keep up with the image of a fansite, just to send you gifts, yes he’s sent you tons of gifts, from the latest Prada bag you have, down to the mouse on your desk he just saw, all under the name of MienYang, which is a ring to the animal you resemble, a sheep, which came about after you had gone viral for wearing an oversized white knitted sweater, and Mien is noodles in his native language, for your love for ramyeon, see? He knows every single meticulous detail.

Yang Yang was content with being a silent fan at first, thinking maybe he was a bit too obsessive in the midst of his whirlwind parasocial romance, but he brushes the thought aside, no one can treat you the way you truly deserve, and definitely not the shitty company you’re signed under.

At first it was just the innocent act, or not so innocent, of being roped into a sasaeng group chat that trades info about your group’s schedule like his peers did with bitcoins and nfts, Yang Yang didn’t want anything to do with it at first, but when he saw these sasaengs having ‘dirt’ on some of your members for dating, he had to ask, just a harmless question of whether you were secretly seeing anyone. Yang Yang was bracing for the worst if he was honest, but to his surprise, the group chat blew up with a slew of messages about your love life, or lack there of.

‘She’s a hermit, the only thing she does is sneak out for late night convenience store runs near her dorm.’

‘I used to follow her when she was my bias, but she was so boring that she doesn’t even leave her dorms unless it’s for shopping.’

‘I don’t think she’s ever stepped foot in a club, not even a pub....’

Now this was interesting, the user who had commented on how you went out for convenience stores late at night had messaged him privately, saying that he could sell him more info if he wants, but with a price, and did Yang Yang say yes? You bet his ass he did.

He had met up with the guy at a cafe at a less busy hour to ‘discuss’.

“As we had agreed upon, 100k won per question,” the guy said, his appearance was a mess, he probably followed you last night too, to get more out of this, he did this for a living, he has to go all out.

“First question, is it true that she’s single and holes up in her dorm all the time?” Yang Yang asked.

“That’s two questions, yes, and as a bonus, she’s only had a brief 3 months relationship before moving to Korea, but I think most fans know this by now, and to answer your second question, yes that’s true, she’s very much a hermit, goes to work and then comes home straight, that’s 200k pretty boy, anymore questions?” the guy says before taking a sip of his iced americano, paid for by Yang Yang of course, and before Yang Yang could do some logical thinking, he blurted out the question that has been relaying in his mind over and over again.

“I want her address, you have it don’t you?” Yang Yang asked, he swore this would be the last thing he asks for today, he doesn’t want to invade too much of your privacy, just enough to satisfy his thirst for you.

“Now that’s another price,” the man leaned back with a smug smile on his ugly face.

Yang Yang hasn’t ever spent one million won purely on information, not even in the industry he’s in.

Yang Yang finds himself in your dorm’s neighbourhood, but there’s three convenience stores in the area, he wonders if you prefer cu or emart, he’s currently in cu, it’s less flashy and smaller in size, if he was an idol, he’d definitely pick this one.

He’s not in the store yet, waiting in the car, with his phone to zoom in whenever he sees a female figure coming through his vicinity, but none of them were you, all of them had their hoods down, so they’re definitely not you, Yang Yang would recognise your face even if he lost all memory of who he was himself.

It was until when he saw a familiar phone case in a hooded figure’s delicate hands, then he knew, he recognises your new case, the one with fake gummy bears at the back.

Yang Yang immediately springs out of his car, slamming the door shut before quickly jogging inside the convenience store, his body slacks in comfort of the heating but his focus heightens, trying to see where you were.

That’s when he sees you, crouched in the corner, a hand on your knee, contemplating which ramyeon to get, Yang Yang has to stop himself from cooing at the cute sight. Yang Yang makes himself look busy by picking through what ramyeon he wants, as an excuse to execute the plan he’s formulated for almost a week.

When you stood up to pay, he quickly grabs the one he had decided on since he had laid eyes on the selections, he was just waiting for you, he went up to pay first when he sees you making a beeline for the cashier.

He ‘tries’ to pay with his kaokaopay, the keyword ‘tries’ because he knows there’s no credit in that e wallet anymore, and did he purposely forget his wallet? Of course he did.

“Damn it, I forgot to top up and my wallet’s left at home,” Yang Yang curses to himself, but loud enough to let you pick it up.

“No worries, I’ll pay,” you say, thrusting your phone to the scanner, flashing him a kind smile that shows on your eyes, your beautiful lips hidden by the mask you had adorned to conceal your identity.

“Thank you so much,” Yang Yang says with a polite bow, “Is there a way I could pay you back?” Yang Yang asks, taking your items to the instant ramyeon station, opening your packet and his to fill up the plastic bowls with hot water.

“Maybe you could pay for my noodles the next time we see each other here,” you suggested, taking your bowl of ramyeon, walking to an empty table, away from the windows.

“Deal,” Yang Yang agreed, taking a seat across you, “I’m new to this country, so I don’t know many people, it’d be nice to have a face to be familiarise with, are you a foreigner too?” Yang Yang pried, as if he didn’t know the answers to those basic questions.

“Yup! But I’ve been here for a few years now, it’s really hard at first, the difference of culture and language really sets us foreigners aside, doesn’t it?” you ask, of course, you might be wrong, some people adapt really well to the local culture, Seoul is easier than other smaller cities according to your seniors.

“Yeah, I’m here cuz my company transferred me here, it was really a bummer at first, what about you? Career reasons too, I guess?” Yang Yang easily strikes up a conversation, he’s very much an introvert, but around the people he clicks with? It’s like a breeze for him, and to him, you and him are two missing puzzle pieces waiting to be pieced together.

“Yeah, do I look too old to be a college student?” you asked jokingly, this is a nice change, the feeling of being a stranger to someone again, maybe meeting, wait, you haven’t caught his name.

“No, but you don’t have a bag with you to study, and most college kids will bring their food back home to eat while studying, you seem to have more time on your hands than a college kid, so I just assumed, unless you are?”

“Nope,” you said, finishing your noodles, you peered over to his, almost empty too, “but you look a bit young to be transferred over so quickly,” you commented.

“Yeah, it’s my uncle’s business, and he wanted some help, I didn’t have any plans after graduation, so I had to take up the offer, or my dad would have my head,” another lie, but this is how he has to do if he wants to be your friend, and to his greediness, something more even.

“Wow, your family must have really high hopes for you,” you complimented, picking up after yourselves, you’re going to leave soon, you still have afternoon practice tomorrow, and you don’t want to go into the company looking like a zombie.

“I guess, I’ll see you soon...

You give him your name while he holds the door open for you, he seems to be such a gentleman, a rare sight these days.

“Yang Yang, it’s a pleasure meeting you, get home soon, even from a newbie, I could tell Seoul isn’t the safest,” he said, looking back at you to see that you covered your head with your hoodie and your face with a mask once again.

“You too, till we meet again, Yang Yang,” you said, walking to the direction of your dorms.

Yang Yang watches you from afar before deciding to follow you, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he found out you were attacked, and so he keeps a distance with your figure, up until you stepped into your dorm’s compounds, and now he can go back home for a peaceful sleep, knowing that you’re safe.

Yang Yang had made the effort, given if his schedule and job allowed, to go to that same convenience store every night, and 50% of the time, he’d bump into you, he’d brush it off as a coincidence, citing that he lives very nearby, and of course you never doubted him, it was an almost 100% housing area anyways, and you did meet him in this very same convenience store many nights ago, and so the two of you became friends.

You never really talked about your life, you had lied that you were just a girl fresh out of college being pushed into the corporate world like a fish into a tank of sharks, which wasn’t all that false, instead of saying your managers and staff were rude to you, you’d change it to your seniors at your office, just a small white lie.

Yang Yang wasn’t mad in the slightest of course, if you had revealed your identity to him, you probably wouldn’t have made friends with him or even talk to him if he had made himself known to have recognised you that very first night.

Yang Yang had spun a web of lies upon lies just to make you happy, not like you didn’t contribute into any of the web making, but Yang Yang really tries to make himself as honest as he could be, like how he had recently moved out of his penthouse in Gangnam to live in this very neighbourhood he had claimed he had lived in since day 1, he doesn’t like lying to you, but if lying is what’s keeping you here beside him, he’d take it.

“Hey, why don’t we exchange numbers? Then we don’t need to limit our conversations in this convenience store, and we can even text each other to see if we’re coming here,” you suggested, handing over your unlocked phone for him to key in his number, an unlocked phone, an idol’s greatest fear, but here you were, entrusting your whole career in his hands.

“Sure.”

The early signs of autumn crept up to you in the form of a chilly breeze tonight after having yet another late night convenience store run with Yang Yang, you were walking a little bit further behind to avoid the chances of someone recognising you in your neighbourhood and exposing Yang Yang’s identity, which is why you heard the telltale signs of shuffling of footsteps.

You quickly looked back to see who it was, and the sight nearly made you shit your pants, it was a tall burly man who was wearing a cap even though it’s completely dark out, you’ve been told that sasaengs are often identified through this sort of attire during this timing because rarely anyone wears a cap at night in Seoul unless they’re fellow celebrities, and the keychain of your group’s logo hanging by the side of his fanny pack tells you otherwise.

You quickly dragged Yang Yang into an alley when the two of you rounded a familiar cornering.

“There’s someone following me, we need to run and hide,” you said to a very confused looking Yang Yang, obvious distress in the tone of your voice.

Yang Yang heeds to your warning immediately, pulling you to hide behind a row of large recycling bins, hands holding onto yours when he sees how panic stricken you looked.

After a few minutes, Yang Yang gets up to check if the coast was clear, telling you to stand up when he confirmed no one was following you anymore.

“Why was that guy following you? Do you owe loan sharks money or something?” Yang Yang asked, acting oblivious.

“No...Yang, there’s something I need to tell you, about my identity, please don’t be mad that I’ve been lying to you, I just thought it’d be easier that way, I never thought something like this would happen. The man who was following us is probably one of my fans, and he was probably dangerous because he didn’t carry any camera or had his phone out, those are the obvious signs of a crazy sasaeng, what I’m trying to say is that....I’m an idol of a quite famous group in kpop, I’m sorry I lied about my job, I just wanted a genuine friend who won’t care how famous I am, I just didn’t expect I’d put you into this sort of danger without your permission, and I understand if you don’t want to be my friend anymore, I know there’s risks to being an idol’s-

“Don’t, I’m glad to be your friend, so don’t ever say that, and imagine if I wasn’t here tonight, he might’ve gotten to you and god knows what he’ll do to you, so don’t apologise, I’m happy to be by your side,” Yang Yang said after he had pulled you in for a hug, his presence and touch comforting you and your running mind, “how about I walk you home instead of saying goodbye at the intersection?” Yang Yang asked, to which you nodded enthusiastically, grateful to have met someone as caring and as accepting as Yang Yang.

As time has passed, that night’s events never left your mind, both in a bad light and a good one because that act of Yang Yang ushering you to safety had etched in your mind permanently, the scene unfolding itself whenever you zone out because to you, that was your very own kdrama moment, Yang Yang being your knight in shining armour and you being the damsel in distress.

Though it might be a hard pill to swallow in everyone else’s eyes that it was all an act, one that Yang Yang had planned it meticulously with a hefty sum of money, hiring the actor who played your ‘stalker’, and on top of that, paying for his non-disclosure agreement. Yang Yang needed you to fall for him, and through your old interviews of the dramas you were watching, he had grown to know what man you would fall for, and most of those dramas had a scene of the female lead being saved, most of the time you’d watch thriller dramas, which would explain why.

Yang Yang knows what he did was wrong, that he had scared you that night, but to him, this was some sort of warning, to let you know that even if it wasn’t him, there’s a huge possibility of you encountering crazy fans like this, he wants you to depend on him for safety, just the two of you now, having one of your convenience store runs again, but instead of just some random meet up, now he can call these dates, the two of you now have your impromptu suppers at another convenience store, you feared that the crazy fan would come back to get you after an unsuccessful attempt that night, Yang Yang even suggested to drive out to the next neighbourhood, which you’re very much grateful for.

Dating Yang Yang was a skeptical decision on your end, having to dodge your members as well as your managers was hard, you had trained your face not to smile as well as switching apps at 0.1 seconds whenever someone tries looking over your shoulder to see who you were texting, but Yang Yang makes you immensely happy in this lonely career of yours.

Speaking of which, you had asked Yang Yang out for ramyeon after you saw a notice of one of your most loyal fansites, MienYang, closing down.

“Why did they close it, babe? I thought you said they were relatively new to your fandom,” Yang Yang asks, as if he doesn’t know.

“I checked their twitter, apparently they’re leaving overseas for university, so they can’t go to my official schedules and stuff anymore,” you say, a pout unknowingly making its way on your lips, “they’re one of the non-sasaeng fansites, it’s sad to see someone who respects me as a person and as an idol go, you know?” you said, thinking aloud mostly, of course you love all the other non-sasaeng fansites, but MienYang has always gifted you sentimental gifts, like food trucks of your favourite snacks whenever there’s some sort of filming or official schedule, even flowers of your favourite kind, and not to mention your entire monitor set up in your dorm only after one mindless complaint you made about the processor that one time on live.

“Hey, don’t be too upset about it, I’m sure they’re still supporting you by other means wherever they are on the globe, think of it on a brighter side, they got in the university they wanted, isn’t that something worth being happy for? Your dearest fan having an education for themselves?” Yang Yang comforts you, reaching a hand over to grasp yours, smiling at you across the table, his eyes pleading for you to cheer up, he never likes seeing you upset.

“Yeah, of course I am, I think I just have attachment issues when it comes to my fans, especially if I knew they were dedicating their free time and even their wealth at a time like this, I’m grateful for all of them, no matter how much money they’d spent, but to know that this fansite spent their hard earned money on me was just... I’m just really grateful, you know? It’s not about the money, but the hard work behind every one of their gifts and events, sorry, I’m rambling and I sound a bit too deserving at the moment, but I just wish I could do more for them, to repay what they had gifted me over the course of this period,” you said, eyes staring mindlessly at the cup of banana milk in front of you, “It’s a crazy thought but I sometimes wish I could clone more of me so every single fan out there would have a chance to meet me, sometimes I see posts of fans span across the globe saying they were dying to meet me, their yearning breaks my heart, I just want to bring joy to their life.”

“So that’s why you do lives so often,” Yang Yang notes, you truly are an angel, you didn’t need to put up the act of a kind hearted idol in front of him, you know he as a boyfriend, would never judge you for purely treating this idol thing as a career, but you’re not like that, you really have a golden heart.

“Yeah, sometimes I’m scared I annoy them, I turn on lives when I’m eating alone, during practice breaks, when I’m bored at night, I wonder if they think I do it too often,” you said with a chuckle, recounting the many times where your fans had suggested you to just open a mukbang channel.

“Nah, it’s cute to see you eat, sometimes I tune in if I was having lunch alone in the office too,” Yang Yang said with a tilt of his head, eyes darting to the ice cream fridge, a bit shy about confessing that this.

“You do??? Oh god, I look cringe, don’t I?” you said before breaking out a nervous laugh, not finding it weird that your boyfriend would just randomly drop in on your lives.

“Nah, you’re definitely mukbang material, I feel full even by just watching you eat, that’s a charm not many have, most idols just try to act overly cute when they eat, now that’s cringe,” Yang Yang said, reassuring you, it was the truth though, “it is in fact a joy to see you eat, and I bet your other fans agree too,” if the amount of times you trended on twitter for eating wasn’t enough of an evidence.

“You’re just saying that cuz you’re my boyfriend, Yang,” you said before finishing up your banana milk, starting to clean up the trash of containers and plastic utensil wrappers, you were always the responsible one, whenever your group mates leave a group live or some recorded programme to do something else, you’d always stay back to help the staff clean up, just like how you are now, and so Yang Yang stops you, taking the remaining trash from your hands and cleans the rest of it, not much of it left of course, you’re always a quick one.

“Yup, I’m your boyfriend, so would you please stop picking up after ourselves? Let me do it, you had a long day,” Yang Yang chides before retreating to the dustbin, carefully sorting whatever that could be recycled into their respective bins, he doesn’t want to get an earful from you.

“Thank you,” you said, meeting him at the door that he was holding open for you, “you always treat me like a princess,” you said, cheeks heating up at the realisation.

“Because you are my princess, now let’s fetch you back to your dorms before my car turns into a pumpkin Cinderella,” Yang Yang jokes, opening the passenger door for you.

“It’s already 1 a.m., Yang!”

The man hits the wall beside the big household rubbish bin with a loud thud, the sound of the back of skull coming into the brick isn’t pretty one, but it’s a beautiful melody in Yang Yang’s ears, a menacing smile appears under the thick layer of his medical mask, to conceal his identity of course.

“Are you crazy, you bastard?!” that shitbag of stalker of yours spits out, a hand holding the back of head, his facial features constricting in pain, “like you’re not a sasaeng too! You fucking hypocrite!”

Yang Yang pulls out a switch blade from the back of his pocket, releasing the sharp end, he chokes the man to keep him vulnerable under his control, knife coming dangerously close to the spot where he punched the man, he wonders how it’d look to cut open a swollen bruise.

“I’m protecting her from fuckers like you! Do you see me carrying a huge ass camera, walking around broadcasting her whole life on the internet?!” Yang Yang retorts, his fingers closing dangerously around his jugular, “if I see you again, you won’t be leaving without a scratch, you hear me?” Yang Yang warns, the knife he holds coming close to the eye of the scumbag, he’ll take his eye out as a third warning if he catches him lurking around again.

“Yes, I hear you! I’m sorry, just please let me go! I swear I’ll never stalk her ever again!” the man tried his best to look apologetic and bow his head down as far as the hand constricting allows him.

Yang Yang frees him from his grip, eyes watching him scram, tail tucked between his two legs, Yang Yang breathes a sigh of relief, this is probably the last of them, he’s still in the group chat and he knows what they say about him, the crazy sasaeng, the group chats he’s in has warn the members of your sasaengs about him, dubbed as the craziest fan you’ve ever had to date, and Yang Yang is more than proud to have this title.

He folds back the knife into the safety of his jacket and pulls out his phone, pressing onto your contact that’s on his speed dial.

“Hey babe, I’m done with work and I’m in your area, are you still in the convenience store? How about you sleep over my place? I haven’t spent much time with you these days,” Yang Yang says with a borderline aegyo voice that he knows gets you to budge every single time.

“Okay, okay, do you want me to get you anything though? They still have chicken katsu today, let me ask if it’s from tonight or this afternoon,” you mumbled to yourself.

“Thank you, baby, take your time, I’ll be waiting in my car outside the store,” Yang Yang said before hanging up, he can’t wait to see you.

“The worker didn’t lie right? It looks fresh,” you commented as you watch Yang Yang eat in earnest, he always acts like that when he eats, and the idiot always says it’s only because of you, and that even a walnut would feel like a full meal if he’s eating it in your presence.

“Yeah, it’s fresh, you want a bite?” Yang Yang asks, offering you his chicken.

“No, I had chicken in the company today, I would’ve cooked you noodles if the chicken turned out to be from the afternoon, you’ve been working late so often these days,” you said while brushing his bangs out of his eyes to get a better look at the eyebags under his pretty doe eyes.

“It’s okay, just training some new people up, then I’ll have more time for you in the future, and it’s better to plan ahead, I want to have a secure future for you, you can have fun performing without financial worries when you become more of a senior, do what you want to do, what you don’t get enough time to do now, what you didn’t get to experience as a trainee, that’s my end goal,” Yang Yang said, his heart jumping in jitters, this isn’t the first time the two of you have expressed the desire to be together forever, the first time this topic came up, you were talking about how Yang Yang’s room might not have enough closet space for your coats in the future.

“Yang, I never dated you with the expectation of you providing for me, not that I’m against it, but I know you have wishes too-

“I had a really fulfilling childhood, trust me, and I’m having lots of fun in my 20s now, but you’re always working so hard, and I know you enjoy most of it, but there’s so much you haven’t done, and this is my wish too, to make you the happiest person in my life,” Yang Yang said in all sincerity, the silly and carefree Yang Yang you’ve grown to know has disappeared now, leaving him vulnerable, baring his soul in front of you.

“Thank you, Yang Yang, I love you,” you said, tackling to the corner of the couch, he almost lost his grip on his chicken, but he’d sacrifice chicken katsu for your hugs any day.

“I love you too, you sappy idiot, you go wash up first, I’ll join you after you leave me in peace to finish my food,” Yang Yang says before he takes a huge bite of said chicken, a hand nudging you softly to the direction of his bedroom.

“Okay, be quick though,” you said, leaving for his room, and Yang Yang to his own train of thoughts.

When Yang Yang first dived into being your fan, he noticed how you’d always tuck yourself in the corner, not very interactive in group contents, especially in your rookie days, but slowly, you settled into the idea of being a public figure, you realised your shy personality had garnered a decent amount of fans that, ‘idol standards wise’, you needed to start engaging with your fans in a solo manner to actually build up your career, at first you were a bit closed off, and not really knowing what to talk to the fans about, but slowly, you started opening up about yourself, and now being in a relationship with Yang Yang, a comfortable validation of your personality now exists in your mind, and needless to say, whatever reason it maybe, your fans are happy that you’re flourishing and now your fan base is growing at a fast pace, Yang Yang is happy for you, even if he needs to tell people to scram every other night, but it’s slowly trickling down to one every few weeks, only a dumbass once in a blue moon dares to challenge him nowadays.

Yang Yang sighs to himself, a mix of emotions, relief, love, and maybe a hint of pride, and comfort knowing that on screen you and off screen you aren’t all that different, you’re only extroverted around him and your members, sometimes he worries that you don’t have enough friends, but Yang Yang isn’t all that much better, only a handful of close friends back in his student days in Germany, maybe he should visit them soon, but he worries for your safety if he’s gone.

“Hey, you done, babe?” you ask, walking out, spotting the oily paper bag discarded on the coffee table.

“Yup, go wait for me on the bed, rest your legs, you must’ve had a long day of practice,” Yang Yang chides, heading into the ensuite bathroom to wash up.

“Nah, it was mostly vocals today, and don’t worry, I drank honey, just as you told me,” you added when you saw Yang Yang looking at you expectantly, satisfaction blooming in your chest when you see Yang Yang nodding proudly, tooth paste foam and the brush sticking out of his mouth comically, you could wake up and go to bed with this sight.

When Yang Yang finally joins you, you wrap your limbs around his lean body, sighing in comfort at the warmth his body provides, he’s always felt like a walking human heater to you.

“What’s with the sudden burst of affection?” Yang Yang teases.

“Nothing, just missed you,” you mumbled into his chest, inhaling the comforting scent of his laundry detergent, “I’ll wait for you in bed,” you mumbled before walking away.

Yang Yang’s shoulders sag in relief, the thought of cuddling you to bed immediately relieving him of the stress he had felt from the whole day.

Yang Yang lets himself under the blanket, greeted by your arms around him,  you had always loved spooning him, out of habit from all the big plushie you had always cuddled to sleep, you can’t go to bed without hugging something, Yang Yang lacks the softness you’re used to, but the warmth he provides is just as comforting.

Although the thought of falling asleep right now is more than tempting, you think it’s time to take the next step in your relationship, and as an adult as a whole.

“Hey Yang, do you ever think about like taking our relationship to the next stage?” you ask mindlessly, you might not get anything out of this, it’s been a long day for your hardworking boyfriend, and you understand, there are somedays where you don’t wanna do anything after work either.

“What do you mean? Like marriage? If so then no take backs cuz I’m in this shit for life, babe,” Yang Yang jokes, tickling at your sides, his touches with you are always innocent, there’s no need to rush, especially after hearing what you just said.

“No, Yang, I meant like, you know, physical affection?” you say as your eyes dart away from his searching ones, ever the observing boyfriend, he always wants to read your emotions through the windows of your soul, something he picked up from his mom growing up when he throws tantrums and she wants to understand his frustration.

“You want more kisses?” Yang Yang asks, apology on the tip of his tongue, he must’ve been so busy these few weeks that you feel neglected.

“No, no, like,” you’re running out of words and you’d bite your own tongue before saying the word sex in front of your boyfriend who’s had a few girlfriends, but you’re desperate to see what he feels about this, so you take his wrist into your hands, placing his palm on your breast.

It was merely flesh biology wise, and that’s how Yang Yang felt about it with his exes, he’s always been much more of an ass guy, but this slight touch, he felt electric shocks going up his back before he came to his senses and pulled his hand away, as if he was burnt by your touch.

“Baby...” Yang Yang trails off, his sentences not forming, he swears that one touch permanently fried parts of his brain, but you take his hesitance as rejection, which sends Yang Yang into a worried frenzy, that’s definitely not what he meant.

“No, baby, I’m not opposed to what you’re proposing, but are you sure you’re ready? This is a huge step for you, isn’t it? I want you to think this through and not have any regrets,” Yang Yang explains, his tone so reassuring, apologetic even.

“I’m sure, Yang, we’ve been together for almost a year, and you’ve always been the best to me, taking care of me, making sure I have my meals, putting up with my hectic schedule without any complaints, then I realised, I really want to feel your love in a physical form, humans are curious creatures, I want all of you, to bask in your love,” you said with so much sincerity it might make Yang Yang cry if you don’t stop with your beautiful words, which is so ironic because most of the times he’s pictured engaging in sex with you, most times the scenarios in his head are so fucking filthy, and here you are, proposing to make love, and suddenly all those desires disappear from his forefront, if making love is what you want, then what’s he’ll give you.

Yang Yang cages you between his body and his bed, a smile that holds several emotions casting through his pupils, lust, mischief, love, adoration, he’s definitely going haywire with these strong emotions.

Yang Yang grows hard in his jeans when he felt your eager hands explore his body, until your knuckles knock against something hard in his jacket’s pocket, Yang Yang freezes up, brain going on overdrive to find every possible excuse and decipher which is the best to use.

“Yang, why do you have-

Your agile fingers press the button, the swish of a knife molding a new type of tension between the two of you.

“Babe, be careful with that,” Yang Yang chides, slowly prying the knife out of your hands to put it at the farthest corner of his nightstand, “I started carrying a switch blade after that time when we bumped into your sasaeng, just in case I need to protect you,” Yang Yang said, another white lie, it wasn’t a complete lie, this thing is used to ward off your sasaengs, just in a more proactive manner, and morally grey of course.

“Yangie..” you cooed, “that’s so sweet, thank you for trying to protect me, but most of my sasaeng fans have stopped pursuing me,” you said, not one hint of disgust on your face, maybe you just think he’s using it as a prop to ward off fans that get aggressive physically.

“Of course, got to be the best boyfriend amongst all your peers, you know, got to make my girl, proud,” Yang Yang trails on, his worry quickly dissipating from his mind.

“I’m sure everyone would be jealous of me for having a boyfriend like you, Yang,” you said before kissing him, your hands continuing their journey, you’re getting a bit rushed, stripping Yang Yang of his jacket and trailing your hands up his toned stomach, your eyes glazed when you realised Yang Yang is hiding a set off abs underneath his baggy sweaters.

“Wow, wait, hold on a sec, baby, you’re going so fast,” Yang Yang said, exasperated at the pace you’re setting, swiftly pulling your hands down from his shirt.

“I thought you wanted to make love, baby, making love is slow-

“I don’t think I want that anymore, Yang, I’ve been waiting for this for too long, aren’t you impatient to touch me too?” you asked with those puppy eyes of yours, and who is Yang Yang to deny you, he’s a man after all.

Yang Yang quickly strips off his shirt to let you know that he is impatient for your touch, he’s waited since the day he saw your concert, he’s been waiting for so long, training his endurance towards your little touches, but your one look is pushing him past his limits, your bedroom eyes are Yang Yang’s weakness, the first time he’s seen them when you were performing had him hooked, he knew you weren’t innocent, but he hadn’t known you were a virgin, that’s just even sexier of you, to value yourself so highly, yet so shy at times, this is what he calls duality.

Yang Yang throws his shirt off to somewhere, eager to please you, but a certain metallic sound caught his attention, his eyes spy that the switch blade wasn’t that far away anymore, must be the drag of his shirt, so he moves away to retrieve it, opening the drawer, planning to just chuck the thing in, it’s better to be safe than sorry, but before he could let go of the blade, your delicate fingers wrap around his wrist.

“Yang, could we try something with the knife? I read something in one of my romance books once and I always wanted to recreate it with you,” you said timidly, but eyes full of lust, and Yang Yang swears his dick just twitched hearing you say those words.

“You know, babe, usually people bring up knife kink after their first time, hell, not even a second time,” Yang Yang says before chuckling to himself, he never thought tonight would turn out this way.

“Well, I don’t want my first time to be boring like other people, I want it to be like that mafia love story I just finished, come on, it’ll be fun, I mean it looked fun....in my head,” you were trailing off, bashful, is how you would describe this moment’s feelings.

“Okay, okay, no more laughing and joking then, let me get my head in the game, I need to exceed your expectations,” Yang Yang said with one last cheeky smile on his face before turning serious, “so I need you to stop laughing and feeling embarrassed too, okay? And let me know if you want to stop, since you read so much, I’m sure you know of the traffic light system.”

You nod your head, immediately feeling submissive under Yang Yang’s dominant gaze and switch of a tone.

Yang Yang unsheathes the blade by pressing onto the button, the shiny knife once again captures your attention, you could feel your panties sticking to your core.

“I need you to hold still, baby, can I ruin your clothes?” Yang Yang asks, he doesn’t want to trigger any sort of bad reaction from you.

“Yeah, go ahead, as long as you don’t miss them,” you reminded him, it’s his shirt after all.

Yang Yang nods in understanding, eyes hyperfocused on the blade, he traces the curve of your bottom lip with it, careful to not apply too much pressure, he’d never let you bleed, Yang Yang would never hurt what he most cherishes, so he tests the blade on your lips first, knowing that it hurts a lot less to have an accidental cut there than on actual skin, he’d know from all those years of shaving in a rush before classes, once he gets a hold of how much pressure to use, he moves on, trailing the blade down your jaw, to the juncture of your neck, the expanse of untainted skin tempting him to mark you up, but he knows he can’t, he wouldn’t put your job on the line, and so he lingers a bit longer on your neck, tracing a Y on your neck to make up for the fact that he can’t actually mark it.

When you felt the tracing of his initials, you feel a shudder run down your spine, you have always been attracted to Yang Yang’s subtle possessiveness, and the fact that he’s also like this in bed is such a turn on to you, you swear your panties are far beyond ruined at this point, which makes you wonder if he’s going to cut those too.

Your trail of thought was cut short when Yang Yang suddenly speeds up the process, bunching your shirt up, he cuts through the fabric with the blade, the the sound of shearing cotton amplifying the tingles in your core, an unconscious moan of his name leaves your lips, drawing Yang Yang’s attention away from your bosoms to your face, he wonders if you’d fall into subspace, he’s not against it, but it’s best that you don’t, this is your first time after all, so he sets the blade aside at a far corner of his nightstand once more, he’d get back to that once he anchors you back to him.

"Are you still with me, baby? Can I have a colour?" Yang Yang asks, his hands grasping your face gently, doe eyes staring into yours, trying to decipher which state of mind you're in.

"Green, I'm okay, don't worry," you say after a bit, slightly dazed by the display of carnal lust from your lover.

"Can I continue, baby?" He just needs to hear your consent, even though it's quite obvious that the gleam in your eyes are of yearning.

"Yes."

Yang Yang takes your consent as green light to show your breasts the attention they deserve, showering them in kisses before venturing into playful licks of your nipple while his other hand tries its best to mimic his mouth's ministrations, sending pleasurable shocks southwards, you would've been worried about ruining his sheets if Yang Yang wasn't such a distraction.

Just as you grew used to the feeling of his kitten licks, Yang Yang switches up the tempo, he now moves to your other breast, but instead of the gentle kisses, you are welcomed by light painless nicks, you whimper at the contact of his teeth, you divert your eyes to your lover, when Yang Yang sees your eyes on him, he proceeds to bite onto your nipple, pulling at it slightly before letting go.

"Fuck," you muttered, eyes shutting at the thrilling feeling of having your nipples played this way, you've never predicted Yang Yang to be like this in bed, and needless to say, you love this surprising side of him.

"Naughty girl, didn't think you'd enjoy that this much," Yang Yang said with a light spank to your inner thigh, making your legs jolt up at the sensitivity, god this man is going to drive you mad if he doesn't hurry up and fuck you.

"Please Yang, I need you to do more, I need you inside me," you begged, your pride's left your body completely.

"Since you begged so nicely, baby," Yang Yang said with a hum, contemplating of what to do next.

When Yang Yang pulls away, you whine at the loss of his warmth and familiar weight of his torso on your body.

"I'm not going anywhere, I'll never leave you hanging, baby," Yang Yang said before returning to your side with the blade, "but there's something in my way from your sweet pussy, baby," Yang Yang said with a mischievous smile before you hear the sound of shredding fabric once more, a gust of wind immediately hits your drenched core, you swear you feel goosebumps arise, "there, all better," Yang Yang says before diving in like a starved man, his fingers spreading your folds apart to show your clit the same amount of attention and care he gave to your breasts.

Your back arches at the onward assault on your most sensitive bundle of nerves, Yang Yang really knows how to use his mouth, which makes you wonder how long he's wanted to do this.

When he's deemed you more than wet, he dips a finger into your core, slowly moving it around, trying to grasp your reactions, at a particular angle, you gasp at the particularly sensitive spot.

Bingo.

Yang Yang lets you adjust to the feeling of having one finger before he slips in another, giddily watching the way you swallow up his fingers almost effortlessly, a boost to his ego, but of course, your safety and pleasure comes first.

But soon, you're getting impatient, you nudge Yang Yang with a knee when he was too distracted by the meal in front of him, you don't blame him for not hearing you when he has his mouth and fingers busy, you think he even added a third, but that doesn't matter to you, because you really need him to hurry up before you go insane.

"Yang Yang, please, I need you to be inside me, you prepped me for so long, it should be your turn now, let me feel all of you, please...

Something in Yang Yang snaps when he hears the desperation in your words, a realisation at the fact that you really need him, now.

"I'm sorry baby, just wanted to make sure you're ready for me," Yang Yang says as he strips down to nothing, baring his beautiful body to you, your eyes immediately drop to the part between his legs, of course he's well endowed, Yang Yang is perfect in your eyes.

"My eyes are up here, baby," Yang Yang says with a playful chuckle before kissing your temple.

"Sorry, it's just that, my boyfriend's really sexy, you know," you say, joining his playful banter.

"Glad that you think so, my sexy girlfriend," Yang Yang says before he takes your hand into his, linking your fingers together.

"Are you really ready, baby? It's never too late to back out," Yang Yang reminds you.

"Nope, not backing out," you reassured him.

"Okay... Then as a reminder, I'm going to repeat this once more, if any point, and I mean any point, that you do not wish to continue, just say red, and I'll immediately stop and pull out, okay?"

"Okay," you agreed, your chest filled with an immense amount of love and pride over the man you call your lover, being ever the gentlemen towards you.

"I love you," you said, because it just felt right.

"I love you too, but no more confessions or I'm going to feel too sappy to do this, baby," Yang Yang says before putting a serious face back on, he needs to focus on making you feel good tonight.

"You're adapting far quicker than I thought you would," Yang Yang says with a playful snicker. "Stop teasing and just keep going, Yang," you say, your hands covering your face, you could feel the blood rush into your cheeks, just like the arousal between your legs. "You're so fucking cute," Yang Yang muses, "but I want to hear a please, be my good girl for me," Yang Yang wanting to coaxe out of you. "Please." That one word has Yang Yang reaching for the knife again, his eyes locking into your drenched panties, bunching up the material, he cuts the knife through it, the flimsy material ripped to shreds. "Yang!" you scold, but it came out as more a moan, you can't help it, you're so turned on by the sight of Yang Yang holding a knife in this manner, a sight that you thought you'd only see in your wildest dreams. "Don't worry, baby, I'll buy you new ones, as many as you want," Yang Yang promises, sealing the promise with a kiss to the hood of your core, making your legs shiver.  

You arch your hips into his touch, urging him to put his mouth on your core, Yang Yang obliges, enveloping your lower lips with his. The feeling of his tongue slowly sliding its way into you was a feeling you've never expected, it wasn't anything that your small toy collection was ever able to mimic, the way the rough surface of his tongue touches your sensitive walls would've made your legs shut if it wasn't for Yang Yang holding them open, his thumb mindlessly rubbing circles around your inner thigh, igniting all your senses, especially when you close your eyes when you near your release, your body convulses in pleasure, a mantra of please's and his name falling out of your lips in a hushed tone, slowly breaking out of your shy exterior, bit by bit, your voice grows louder, until the dams broke, a loud cry resonating through the bedroom.  

Meanwhile, Yang Yang eagerly slurps up all your sweet nectar, you pry your eyes open to not miss the scene, catching the sight of his Adam's apple bobbing, his eyes shut, concentrating on your taste on his tongue. When he's had his fill, he looks up from his spot from between your legs, a dazed smile on his face. "Hi," he says, so casual as if he just didn't give you a mind blowing orgasm with just his tongue and his fingers, "you still wanna continue? we can stop if you want-

But you break him off when you get up from your spot and kiss his lips, the taste of him on you was weird, but so fucking good. "Go ahead, Yang, please," you beg, remembering his words.  

"Okay, but you remember right? Anything you don't like, say red," Yang Yang's never been long winded, but with you? He'd go to all lengths. You nod, eyes locked onto his, you see the lust swimming in those orbs, but also weariness, you feel a sense of security settling in when you see how careful Yang Yang is. Yang Yang brushes your cheek with a thumb before he takes a hand to grasp himself, your eyes train to Yang Yang's hips, swallowing a lump down your throat when you see how big he is, not very long, but thicker than what you had imagined, Yang Yang positions his cock at your core, he slowly slides in, inch by inch, scanning your face for any sort of discomfort, there's bound to be some, as he sees your face all scrunched up, but he won't stop unless you said so, he doesn't want to spoil the mood, and chooses to trust your judgement. When he finally fills you to the brim, you let out a gasp when you feel the slight prickle of hair.  

You feel Yang Yang’s hands caressing your face, the other is situated at your clit, hoping that the constant stream of pleasure would be able to relieve the ache and slight burn between your legs, you knew it was inevitable, to not feel any pain at all would be unrealistic, and you appreciate Yang Yang for being patient and going beyond that to help ease the ache.

Once the slight sting fades away, you feel your walls starting to get wetter from the switch of stimulation from pain to pleasure.

“You can move now, Yang, it doesn’t hurt anymore,” you tell him, nearly not recognising your own voice as it’s dripped in eagerness for more.

“Okay, I’ll go slow, tell me when you want me to pick up the pace,” Yang Yang says before slipping part of his cock out to thrust back in, immediately you clench around him, the feeling so foreign, but most ideal, the way you felt every inch of him, you can only describe it as euphoric.

Yang Yang struggles not to cum, the way you clench around him feels so good, but he won’t be able to last long if you keep this up.

“I need you to unclench, baby, or II won’t be able to perform at my best for you, and relax, sex shouldn’t be rushed and have you on your nerves, it should be relaxing, let me show you, take care of you,” Yang Yang says before furrowing his eyebrows to continue moving his hips, angling his cock at the angle of your sensitive spot, and instantly, he feels your nails digging into his arm, a shriek of his name tumbling from your lips, the action catching his attention, the sight of your swollen lips enticing him, so he swallows up your moans as he quickens the pace, a hand slithering down slyly to your bundle of nerves, once again aiming for an onslaught attack of sweet pleasure that has you arching your back into Yang Yang’s hold succumbing you into a pleasure-filled mess, incoherent blabbers and moans filling his mind, Yang Yang catches a few words, big, deep, so good, and all of them do nothing but encourage him to bring you to the edge faster, snapping his hips onto yours, his thrusts beginning to deepen and slow down slightly, he’s only human after all, but he gives your clit a few light pinches in retaliation, a whimper sounds from you beneath him before he feels you falling apart around him.

You struggle to keep your eyes open as you were pushed over the edge, but you reminded yourself that you need to see Yang Yang falling apart for you, and so you beg, “want you to cum too, Yang, please,” you plead between whines and moans as he rides out your high for you, that sweet sweet voice of yours is what makes Yang Yang crumble, masking a moan by biting down on his lips, he lets go, filling up your core with his seed, not pulling out until he finishes, the tension leaving his body.

Yang Yang looked so beautiful when he reached his peak, you’ve always thought his Adam’s apple was sexy, but when he threw his head back and breathed heavily, the sight of it bobbing was such a turn on, distracted by the memory looping in your head, you were pulled out of your daze when Yang Yang gently manoeuvred himself out of your walls, watching him watch the way his cum drips onto your thighs, not knowing he was caught staring until he looks up to see you watching him with your head cocked to the side.

“That was sexy, don’t blame me, I’m just a dude with fantasies,” Yang Yang jokes while pulling out a few tissues from the box, cleaning you up.

“I don’t mind, I think it’s sexy that you’re into it, but as sexy as it is, please carry me to the tub, I don’t think I’d be able to move around for a few hours,” you said, arms already spread, awaiting your princess treatment from your ever doting boyfriend.

“I’ll set up the tub and I’ll come get you, take a nap if you want,” Yang Yang says, rounding the corner of his bed to come give you a peck before taking his leave, the sight of his small but bubbly butt making you giggle.

Keeping things under warps isn't easy when you're an idol, which is no surprise when your manager caught you going into Yang Yang's car one night outside your dorm when you planned to sleepover. You had to come clean about your relationship to your label and they weren't too happy about it, but in their words, a better case than the rest of your label mates, since the fans and tabloids haven't caught wind and the fact that Yang Yang is a businessman, yes he told you that it wasn’t his uncle’s company, but his! You made Yang Yang promise that he can’t keep anymore secrets from you, but coming back to your company, maybe they think this sort of relationship levels up your status as well as the label's, is your good guess. Other than that, your career has been advancing smoothly, you toured a few cities, Yang Yang had insisted on tagging along to Osaka and the states, for the food, he says, but you'd know better than to doubt his support for you, Yang Yang is the best boyfriend you could ever ask, most idols' relationships don't work out with people outside of the industry due to the busy schedules of their partner, but you believe that the love you share with him would prevail over any sort of obstacle life throws at you.    

The rest of your American tour ended and you can't wait to see the love of your life, having flown home earlier than the rest of your members who had wanted to stay a few days longer to rest and travel. You didn't tell Yang Yang, hoping to give him a surprise, these days he's been busy at work, so the two of you haven't video called for a bit. When you open the door to his unit, you're greeted by an empty home, you let out a disappointed sigh, but it was expected, it means business is doing well, that means his father won't give him too much pressure, you hate seeing Yang Yang stressing about not exceeding their expectations, he's always too harsh on himself.  

You quickly put away your things, only the necessities, you'll unpack your clothes and the many souvenirs you bought in the next few days. You took a quick nap on his bed, planning to sleep away the jetlag. When you woke up, it was 5, and boy were you hungry, you checked the fridge for food, but of course Yang Yang hadn't bothered to stock up or cook knowing you won't be around, so you close the fridge door and tried your luck with one of the cabinets, relief flooding your mind when you see the copious amount of snacks Yang Yang had, grabbing a bag of chips, you opened it and popped one into your mouth, you were going to eat them on the sofa, but something caught your eye, Yang Yang had put up a new portrait of the two of you on his wall outside his office, it was a photo of the two of you under the beautiful sakura tree, you smile at his sweet gesture, distracted by the photo, you accidentally tipped the bag of chips and dropped a few.  

Cursing to yourself, you quickly pick up the pieces, chucking them in the trash before wetting a paper towel to pick up the crumbs, you open Yang Yang's office door to check if any got in there, but once you were in, you were distracted by the sight of his office, you've never been in here before, knowing that Yang Yang doesn't like mixing work and private affairs, he rarely ever talks about work with you unless you ask, which wasn't weird considering he doesn't really enjoy it that much, but what you didn't expect was a comfy looking leather chair at the end of his table, you're sure you've seen this chair in one of those fancy interior design magazines in the salon, taking a seat, you realised that Yang Yang had left a drawer open, you were going to close it for him, but something caught your eye, it was one of your banners, one that you remember was made by a specific fan site, you pulled it out, reading the fan site name under the words of encouragement, MienYang, why does Yang Yang have this banner? You don't remember the admin of MienYang putting this banner up for reprinting on their twitter, unless...Yang Yang is MienYang? That can't be right? You observed the other things in the drawer, careful to not mess up the arrangements, you see thumb drives and sd cards labelled with dates and things like inkigayo, kbs music bank, are these photos of you? Before you could contemplate on whether to take a look into the sd cards, you hear footsteps near the front door, you quickly put his things back in their order before closing the drawer. When Yang Yang stepped into his living room, he sees you cleaning the floor before standing up to open the door of his office to do the same, worry filling his mind, but that anxiety dissipated when you close the door immediately after cleaning. "Sorry, I dropped chips and wanted to make sure the floor of your office doesn't have any crumbs, would be a nightmare to find ants chewing on whatever documents you have in there," you joked before waking to him, wrapping your arms around your boyfriend. "Thanks, babe, but why are you back early? I thought your flight was in a few days?" Yang Yang asked, pulling away slightly to look at your pretty face he missed so much. "Yeah, but I decided that I wanted to see you more than the liberty statue so..." you trail off, the two of you breaking into a laugh. "You're back early though, I thought you said month end means more workload,” you asked, pulling him to take a seat with you on his expensive couch. "Yeah, about that, I was going to come home and then leave in an hour for an appointment with an interior designer, I was going to tell you this during Christmas, but I might as well get the cat out of the bag now, I was thinking we should move in, and I thought my place could use a bit refurbishing to fit your things into cabinets and some closet alterations would be good since you have so many clothes, so let's do it together, you know?  I'll feel less pressured to guess what's your taste in wood or whatever, that is if you want to move in with me, no pressure of course, I'll be happy to wait if you need more time- "Yang, babe, I'll be happy to move in with you," you agree, cutting him off of his panicked rant slash confession. "Really? You're sure?" Yang Yang couldn't believe it would be this easy to convince you to move in with him. "Of course, we love each other, and by living together means we would have more time to love one another," you reassured him, "now go take your shower, I can't wait to look at the designs," you said before your ever dutiful boyfriend pecks your lips and rushes into your bedroom.  

You push what you saw in his office out of your mind, it didn't really matter, whether Yang Yang is MienYang or not, Yang Yang is providing a comfortable and secure future for you, and you genuinely love each other, who he was in the past, doesn't matter to you.

[kurogane2512]

hi! this is my first time making uhh a request? on tumblr so please forgive me if it's... weird or wrong in any way. i just wanted to ask if you could write opera singer Signora and reader? the idea popped into my head when i was listening to her battle theme on repeat. It could be anything you want, really... like comforting her before an important concert or giving her a bouquet of flowers and praising her after the show or cuddling with exhausted Signora after said concert... anything you come up with. you don't have to write it if you don't want to or you don't see it that way obviously. thanks!

Anon this is literally one of my favorite requests of all time, bless you fr. I have had so many hcs of what Signora could be if not a Harbinger and a professional singer (specifically opera singer) is one of my favorite hcs exactly cause of her lore and theme song <3

Side note this is the first Signora request I have had in a long time and I'm so happy to see people haven't forgotten her for new Harbingers :)

Game: Genshin Impact

Characters: La Signora x fem!reader

Type: Fluff (modern au, childhood friends to lovers, insecure and envious reader, kissing, very slight angst)

"Y/n? Hi, how are you!?" Rosalyne spoke on the phone, the two of you were catching up after months.

"I'm fine. What about you? How are the shows going?"

"Oh, they are great! It's exhausting but I'm having so much fun!"

You smiled bitterly, "That's great to hear. I hope you are taking care of your health."

"Mhm, don't worry. I have to maintain my physique for the shows; and I have a trainer as well now~"

"That's good. Are you—"

"Ms Signora? It's time for your rehearsal."

Someone spoke from Rosalyne's end, making you bite your tongue and hold back from speaking. Signora was her stage name, and her crew referred to her by it as part of professional courtesy.

"Oh, is it time already? Just give me a moment, I'll be there soon."

Rosalyne replied to the person then came back to the phone, "Sorry about that. What were you saying, Y/n?"

You hesitated to continue, "....Oh, nothing much. Just the usual, don't mind me. You have a busy schedule to keep up with."

"Are you sure? I can spare a few more minutes...."

"No no, it's fine. We can talk any time later. You go and all the best."

Rosalyne smiled, "Thank you, Y/n. Goodbye then~"

"Bye..."

You put down the phone and let out a sigh then laid down on the couch you were currently sitting on, you lost track of how many times something like this had happened ever since her career began. You both were supposed to be best friends since childhood, Rosalyne was always more popular and sought-after than you given her beauty and pleasant behavior. However, there were a few secrets about her that only you knew hence you two were closer than most knew.

You grew up as neighbors, she was your girl next door. Her biggest secret you found out was that she was a great singer; she used to sing alone in her bedroom whenever her parents weren't home and you could easily hear her. You eventually revealed this and she pleaded you to not tell anyone as her parents didn't want her to pursue it so she kept it as a hobby. Unknowingly, you became her comfort. She could sing freely in front of you and only you.

A golden opportunity eventually came when a singing competition was being held in the next city and you secretly signed her up. She was elated that you did that but also very nervous, you gave her all the encouragement she needed and she appeared in the contest. Although, she didn't win, she got noticed by a decent number of recruiters and accepted the offer of the owner of the opera house in the capital city.

"She's doing great there while me....? I'm dragging myself through these assignments and projects I have no interest in....Why did I take up this course? I can't complain, it was my own choice but...."

Tears formed in your eyes; you missed Rosalyne, you missed your one and only friend.....and the love of your life. You never told a soul that you had a crush on her since childhood, and now it seemed impossible for you to confess to her. The last time you had seen her was almost 6 months ago, you were in different states most of the time and she was always busy with her shows.

The opera house owner initially gave her a role in one of the plays there but the positive response for her brought in more opportunities and she quickly got her own solo performance there followed by touring around the country for special shows. You had realized she reached a place out of your reach; you had no talent in performing arts, at most you could held in backstage but it was no respectable job.

"....I need to complete these assignments. Guess I'll play one of those...."

You browsed through your phone and plugged in your headphones before playing a familiar song and closing your eyes, it was one of Rosalyne's performances that you loved to hear whenever you missed her or needed some comforting. You were, of course, happy for her success. You knew how passionate she was about it and were happy to know she was in a place she liked; you couldn't help but feel that she left you behind. Yet you couldn't blame her for it as it was your own inability to not be able to follow her......

"She's practically a celebrity now....she has so many fans and followers. I bet some famous actors even like her....maybe she already got confessed to a few times. I don't know....she doesn't tell me anything except the success of her shows. Well, we barely get time to talk about anything else...."

Some days later, you were having a particularly upsetting day as you failed to turn in some projects and lost credits that could potentially make you repeat the semester. You knew what the problem was, and you promised you'd make up for it. You decided to give a call to Rosalyne to have a small chat with her, hoping to uplift your mood. It didn't matter what you talked about, you just wanted to hear her.

"Ms Signora, a call for you." a makeup artist handed Rosalyne her phone as she was currently getting ready for her show, a smile formed on her face seeing your name on the screen.

"Hi, Y/n, what's up? Did you call to wish me luck?~"

".....You are having a show, Rosa?"

"I will in....approximately 20 minutes so we'll have to be a little quick~"

You bit your lower lip and furrowed your brows; of course, you should have expected this.

"I see. All the best then...."

Rosalyne sensed your strange discomfort, "....Are you okay, Y/n? Do you want to say something?"

"N-No, I'm fine. I had no particular reason to call, just wanted to know how you are...."

"....I see. I'll call you after the show then."

"Sure, that's fine."

That night, you curled up on your bed and cried yourself to sleep while hoping for Rosalyne to call but the call never came, you couldn't deny you expected no better. Weeks passed and you didn't talk to her at all, not even any messages. Until one day you received a mail containing tickets to her next show along with all travel and stay arrangements followed by a message from Rosalyne telling you about it and asking you to come.

Well, fortunately you were going to start your semester break when the show was scheduled hence accepted. It was very surprising to you that she did this but you were nevertheless excited to see her. On the day you reached, you were picked up by her manager and taken straight to the venue while your belongings were kept at the hotel. You requested to buy a small bouquet on the way then were escorted to your seat which was the VIP corner of the auditorium, offering the best view and sound in the place.

You requested to meet Rosalyne before the show so you could give her the bouquet but were denied due to the tight schedule hence had the bouquet sent over through her manager. The show began soon after and Rosalyne came on the stage wearing a dazzling pure white dress with a shimmering border, her platinum blonde hair half tied into rose buns and the rest freely hanging. She smiled looking at the audience then the orchestra began playing and the next thing you knew, you were entranced by her.

She sparked like a bright star on the stage, her powerful yet melodious voice soared through the audience and uplifted everyone, your heart beats matched the beats of her song and you were lost in her rhythm and flow, completely enraptured by her. You didn't know she had improved so much in the time you had been apart, all you did was listen to her old shows but you could tell she was even better than before.

You felt like you were in a different world, a different realm altogether with her voice as sole guide. You couldn't take your eyes off her even for a moment, she truly held the skills to capture an audience with her voice alone. In the end, she suddenly turned towards you and your eyes met as she smiled and sang the final note looking at you. You didn't know if that was intentional or just your imagination but you were enthralled.

Once the show ended with an endless round of applause and a standing ovation, you were finally escorted to her dressing room backstage. A crowd cameramen and anchors was gathered outside the door but nobody was let in, you were taken in through the backdoor and finally met your love once again.

"Ms Signora, Ms Y/n is here."

"Oh, come in come in!"

Rosalyne happily allowed you in and stood up as soon as you entered, "Surprise!~"

She mused as she smiled widely and you smiled back then she practically ran up to you and embraced you, "I'm so glad you came, Y/n!~"

"Thanks for calling me, Rosa."

She hugged you tighter, "Oh, I was dying to hear that! How was it?! How did I do?!"

She released the hug and held your wrist while bringing you to the sofa and sitting down together, "You were great, of course! It was truly amazing....I-I don't have any words...."

"Aww, don't flatter me that way, Y/n. Be honest with me...."

"I am, it's the absolute truth. I-I really can't describe it in words, I'm so proud of you, Rosa."

Rosalyne smiled brightly and hugged you once again, you reveled in each other's embrace for a while before she pulled away, "Oh, thank you for the bouquet. It was lovely~"

"Hehe, your favorites, right?~"

"Mhm, you know me so well~"

You gazed into each other's eyes before she smiled and stood up, "Let's go home, I'm really hungry~"

"Where do you live....?"

"Oh, they didn't tell you? I'm in the same hotel as you; in fact, right next door. So, we can stay together until late and catch up as much as we want, just like old times~"

You looked at her wide-eyed then nodded with a smile and followed her out to her car then were dropped at the hotel and taken to her room. You sat on the bedside and waited as she changed into more comfortable clothes and removed her make-up, you ordered some food for you through the room service facility while she came out.

"Ah, it's been so long since sat together this way. How have you been, Y/n? How are your studies going?"

"Oh...it's fine, I barely managed to pass this semester but it's ok, I won't be held back."

Rosalyne gave a soft smile, "I know you are smart enough to pursue something so difficult. Do ask me for help if you ever want to, I'll support you however I can."

You recalled the incidents where you wanted to talk to her in hopes of receiving comfort but were denied, you smiled bitterly and nodded.

"I know, thank you. What about you? When is your next show?"

"Hehe, there's no show until next week. That's why I called you this time, we can go around the city together and hang out. It's been so long since we went out~"

"Hehe, I'll look forward to it."

"Aaaaand, I also have an exciting news~"

"Oh? What is it?"

Rosalyne giggled and took a deep breath then announced, "I was offered to sing the main theme of an upcoming movie!"

Rosalyne brimmed with happiness and excitement as she declared that, all you could do was think how much farther she'd go away now but you didn't want to ruin her happiness.

"Oh my god! That's great, Rosa! What movie is it?!"

"Hehe, I can't tell you yet but they will officially announce all the cast including my role within the next week so you'll find out soon enough! I can tell you that it's by a famous director you have heard of~"

"Wow, that's amazing....I-I'm speechless. I'm so happy for your success, Rosa...."

You tried to sound as cheery as possible but tears were forming in your eyes. Rosalyne was quick to sense that you weren't being genuine, you may have not met for a long time but she knew your habits and behavior well.

"....You don't seem happy, Y/n. What is it?"

"W-What? No, of course I'm happy for you. You totally deserve it and if the movie is good then you'll get even more opportunities like that....Y-You can practically become a celebrity singer now....Of course, I'd be happy!"

Rosalyne stared at you in disbelief, "Don't try to fool me, Y/n. You should remember I can look past you in seconds. Tell me, what is it? Do you not want me to do this?"

Your lips trembled and you looked away, "....Even if I didn't want you to, it's not like I can make you not do it. I have no right to...."

She was taken aback then gently cupped your face, "Talk to me, Y/n. What is it? What's going on in your mind?"

"H-How does it matter what's going on in my mind?! It's not like you are ever there to listen!" you suddenly shouted, making both of you surprised.

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean that! I'm really sorry, I-I'll just go I'm not feeling well. Forget what I just said, please don't take it—"

You stopped speaking as she suddenly embraced you, keeping your head near her chest and tenderly stroking it.

"I know....I know I have neglected you and our friendship."

"What? N-No, that's not the case—"

"I fully accept the blame, Y/n. You don't have to hide it, I know it very well. That's the main reason I arranged for you to come here today, so that we could finally spend time together like the friends we are."

Tears formed in your eyes and you wrapped your arms around her, "I....I missed you a lot....s-so much all this time....I wanted to talk to you many times b-but you....you were always busy and I knew I can't interfere. I felt so l-lonely.....and alone....I just wanted you to be around to listen, nothing else....T-Then, I started feeling that I'm far away from you now....y-you are famous and have so many fans, your career is going great while me...I'm a nobody. I'm just an ordinary student trying to complete my degree....what right do I have to know someone like you—"

"Stop....Don't say anymore...." Rosalyne suddenly whispered before pulling away and cupping you face, tears forming in her eyes too.

"How dare you think that way? Don't you remember what you did for me? The whole reason I'm here today is because of you! How did you think I would ever forget that and abandon you?! That....that stupid competition you applied in for me is what got me here! Don't you dare speak as if I have forgotten all the times you supported me!"

You looked at her in surprise, unable to believe her sudden outburst.

"I know I haven't been there for you recently and I'm sorry about that! I truly am...But don't even think for a second that I will abandon you!"

She leaned closer and you suddenly felt a soft sensation on your lips, you realized it was her lips cuddling with yours gently.

".....I love you, Y/n. I don't want us to be just friends anymore....Be my girlfriend. I promise I won't neglect you and I will treat you right, I will love you and care for you just like you did for me all this time."

More tears flowed down your cheeks as she tenderly wiped them with her thumb while you nodded.

"Me too....I love you too, I have loved you since we were kids....And it's okay, I'm not angry with you anymore. All I wanted was to hear that you are still with me....."

"I promise I will be."

You smiled at each other then she pushed you down on the bed and connected her lips with yours in a heated manner, you kissed roughly and passionately as if you were starved of each other. Her hands interlaced with yours as she licked your lips and rolled her tongue with yours, intensely kissing you. She then proceeded to plant kisses on your jaw followed by moving down your neck when a knock was heard on the door.

"Room service."

Both of you chuckled together then sat up and allowed the waiter in to keep the food. You both then proceeded to eat together happily, reveling in your new relationship and promising to keep each other happy.

[xoxomoonlightxoxo]

P&C | Ch. 13: Company

➪ Playlist (Spotify) l Series Masterlist

“YAH! Jungkook you better not drop me I swear,” I yell into his ear, my body practically melting into his. I'm too embarrassed to admit the poor judgement of my swimming skills or rather the lack of them, but evidently, I would simply drown without Jungkook's support. Pulling me closer, he tightens his grip, one hand on my back as the other caresses my thigh. 

“Peaches, how am I supposed to breathe?” he chuckles, tucking some hair strands behind my ear. Gaze focused on the panic in my eyes, he enjoys the lack of space between us. Would stay like this forever if it was up to him. 

As the water barely covers the top of my bikini Jungkook lowers his gaze onto my chest, leaning in closer to place soft kisses. My body whimpers at the sensation as I scan our surroundings making sure no one else is witnessing this shameless sight.  

“Jungkook! What the heck??” I exclaim quietly, slapping his tattooed forearm. 

“Why did you cover them?” Jungkook whispers into my ear, waving at Jimin and Jiah who were sunbathing by the lake house.  

“You mean why did I cover the hickeys that you left?” I scoff, rolling my eyes at his teasing. 

“They wouldn’t know it was me,” he suggests, missing the bigger picture of the situation. The absolute public embarrassment I would face parading the purple marks on my chest as if it were a regular occurrence. 

“Oh yeah, you're right, I bet Tae would have loved to cover me in kisses,” I tease back, letting out a small chuckle as his orbs darken. 

“Behave Peaches,” he whispers, with a more serious tone. Ignoring his hints of jealousy, I wave to Tae who was setting up the barbecue grill. Letting out a boxy smile, he smiles back, sending me a flying kiss. The wink at the end was enough to trigger Jungkook’s jealousy as his hands loosened their grip on my body, dipping me slightly.

“YAH! Are you insane?” I yell brows furrowed at his little game. 

“I told you to behave didn’t I?” he scoffs back as his tongue pokes the side of his cheek. Moving his body closer to mine, his hands are back on my thighs, face inches away from mine. Making sure that my form is hidden behind his broad back, his hands reach behind to untie the strings of my bikini top. With no time or opportunity for objections, I am left half-naked in front of his hungry eyes.  

“I bet Tae would have loved the sight but I’m the only one that gets to enjoy it,” he whispers, voice mumbling into my breasts, as his lips dominate the soft skin. Our bodies melt into one, his touch is needy. Cupping my left boob, he sucks on the hard nipple, looking up to see the mess I’m in. Eyes closed, I bite my lips to suppress the soft moans dying to escape. 

“Jungkook …” I manage to let out, squeezing his forearm to get his attention. His gaze is hazed as our eyes meet again. Caressing the purple hues on my skin he gives me a quick peck before tying the strings back as Jimin calls us for lunch. 

--

“Mhhm, Tae that smells delicious,” we exclaim in unison, eyes focused on the table full of food. Jimin mentioned how Tae enjoys cooking but today was the first time I got to enjoy his hobby. It truly was scrumptious, to the point that if Nursing doesn't work out he could easily just open a restaurant and live peacefully. I, on the other hand, can successfully “make” a perfect boiled egg … but, to each their own I guess. 

“So, you all go to the same university?” Sohee asks as Jimin takes out some cans of beer from the ice bucket. 

“Yeah, Tae and Mira are actually in the same major too,” Jiah chuckles, looking at the two of us. To be honest, as much as I tease Jungkook about Tae's potential liking for me, it's obvious that we give off more brother-sister vibes than anything else. Very platonic and light-hearted. Although Tae is conventionally very attractive, with his tall, slim figure and a sense of charisma on his face, I've fallen for Jungkook’s buff, macho-man style. Don't tell him that though, he is already too full of himself. 

“What about you, Sohee? Do you go to university as well?” Tae asks, passing more perilla leaves to Jungkook. Before I can even reach for one, he gently slaps my hand out of the way, proceeding to make it himself. Wrapping everything into one compact bite Jungkook signals for me to open my mouth as he continues to feed me. Sensing the suspicion in the way everyone stopped what they were doing, he quickly stuffs another leaf into Tae's mouth. 

“There you go buddy,” Jungkook lets out a chuckle, patting Tae’s back as the poor guy chokes from the sudden shock. 

“Yeah, I'm actually majoring in Kinesiology, hoping to become a physiotherapist,” Sohee replies with a soft smile. 

“Oh no way, Jungkook is also in Kinesiology,” Jimin claps at the news, pointing at Jungkook who is busy wiping the hot sauce from the corner of my mouth. 

“Yeah, hahaha I can tell,” Sohee lets out a giggle, gaze focused on Jungkook's exposed biceps. Suddenly I'm the one choking, eyes tearing up, face flushed. 

“Miraya, are you ok?” Jiah exclaims, passing a glass of water. 

“I'm fine, sorry guys,” I reply softly, wiping the tears from my eyes as Jungkook caresses my thigh under the table. Is this what he feels when I bring up Tae? I don't blame Sohee for having good taste but how do I nicely let her know to back off without blowing my cover? 

--

2:30 a.m. 

I've been in bed for 3 hours now and yet, nothing. Wide awake, my body is begging for some rest while my brain is busy analyzing the conversation from dinner. Shaking my head I try to focus on the rain sounds coming from my phone, before succumbing to the desire of wanting to check up on Jungkook. He is a simple guy, once his head touches the pillow he is out like a light, so the chances of him being awake are very slim. Nonetheless, I close the door behind me, checking to see that all the lights are off before tiptoeing towards the other house. 

Keeping my breathing to a minimum as I pass by Jimin and Tae’s rooms, my pace slows down. Standing in front of Jungkook’s door I can feel the adrenaline rush, which sounds pathetic considering the fact that it's 3 am and I’m sneaking out to see a boy. That is until the said boy’s door creaks open, meeting my wide eyes as his hand reaches for mine.  

“Where were you going?” Jungkook whispers, moving closer as my back presses against the door.  

“I … wanted some water,” I quickly exclaim, trying to avoid his eyes. 

“The kitchen is downstairs though,” he chuckles as his bunny teeth peek through the teasing grin. 

“Yeah, I know … I was just getting my steps in,” my voice remains neutral as his hands glide down to my waist. “Where were you going?” 

“To you,” he replies quickly, gaze focused on my lips as his forehead rests on mine. See, social anxiety literally fears him because how is he so comfortable voicing his intentions and needs? I almost went into labour trying to ease the suspicion before stuttering my way through the lies, but he can just say what's on his mind? I wish. 

“You know, I didn’t take you for the jealous type,” he whispers in my ear, nibbling on the soft flesh as I picture Sohee’s eyes on him. 

“Well, I didn’t take you for a boob guy but you sure had fun in the lake,” I tease back, hands now resting on his exposed chest. Meeting my eyes, a needy grin forms on his face as our lips inch closer. Wrapping my hands around his neck, my back hits the soft duvet as Jungkook hovers on top.

“I wanted to do more but we had company,” he says softly, arms on either side of my form. Pulling him closer, I roll us over straddling his thighs as his head leans back, simply enjoying the view. 

“Oh? What did Jungkook want to do?” I tease, tracing little hearts on his chest. 

“You, wasn't it obvious,” he chuckles as I try to loosen his grip, before being pulled into his embrace. Tucking some hair strands behind my ear, Jungkook places a soft kiss on my forehead. Snuggling into his warm chest, I caress his soft skin, leaving little kisses on his neck. 

“You're very warm,” I hum as his hands rub my back. 

“I think you meant hot, most people would use the word hot,” he grins, peeking at my face. 

“It's unbelievable how big your ego is,” 

“I got bigger things,” he chuckles, as I slap his forearm before attempting to move. 

“I'm leaving,” 

“No, I'm kidding, please come back,” he whispers, eyes sparkling in the moonlight. Grinning at his needy state, I pull him closer as his face rests on my chest, arms wrapped around my waist. 

“Goodnight Jungkook,” I whisper, feeling my body finally give in to the fatigue. 

“Goodnight Peaches,”

Previous l Next

[stopisa]

₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊secret snowflake gift for @rinneverse₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊

a/n: posting the secret snowflake gift i did in the pink velvet server. wishing all my followers and mutuals a wonderful and blessed new year c: enjoy!

iwaizumi hajime x gn!reader (sfw, mildly suggestive at the end)

‘what the fuck do I do?'

he’d been bouncing his leg up and down for the last 15 minutes contemplating how he would approach this situation. 

it’s New Year's Eve, and international student iwaizumi hajime is a nervous wreck. he had been invited to a small get-together by a friend from his sports injury class last semester. his friend knew about the crush he’d had on you for the last 5 months and thought it would be a great opportunity to get you guys just a little closer. hajime kept shifting his eyes to his watch and then to the acquaintances on the other side of the room, absorbed in their respective conversations. 

“hey,” the greeting snaps him out of thought and his eyes meet yours. 

“is this seat free?” you ask. he quickly nods, hurrying over. you sit down on the small couch, sitting closer to him to make sure others have room to sit. your knees touch and his face only gets warmer; the sweater he wears feels incredibly uncomfortable.  

he clears his throat, “y-you look great tonight.” he offers a small smile at the end of his compliment.

“thank you so much, i didn’t think much of it before leaving but it seemed to match good enough.” you glanced over at his outfit, which looked simple yet styled so well. the dark colors contrasted well with his piercing green eyes. “i can say the same for you too.”

the well-received compliment ends up shaking off the anxiety for hajime and conversation flows freely between you two. topics like school, hobbies, and friends are brought up with jokes and playful jabs mixed in. each word that leaves your mouth has him only falling harder for you. ‘shit,’ he thinks to himself. ‘they’re so fucking perfect…’  

“do you wanna get a drink?” you ask, hoping to get away from the noise around you. he nods, stands up, and offers his hand to you. warmth brushes your face, and you take his hand and stand up too. 

in the quiet sanctuary of the kitchen, you both enjoy the ridiculously sweet concoctions the host made for everyone to enjoy. you both give each other glances here and there whilst people-watching.

the noise in the apartment increases as the tv volume is raised, shifting your attention the clock reads “11:58 pm”. the time runs and people begin to count down 60 seconds. hajime's hand slowly grabs at the one by your side. startled you quickly face him, he looks nervous but adorable. 

“i…i like you, like a lot.”

you hear the start of ‘10…9…8…’

“and i didn’t know how to tell you, because you’re amazing and--” he knew he was rambling but it didn’t matter anymore.

‘5…4…3’

the smile on your face grows.

“just kiss me, dumbass.”

hajime blinks, and before he can say ‘huh’ you lean in, taking his lips into yours. from surprised to relaxed, his eyes flutter shut and his hands go to your waist, holding you lightly and enjoying the kiss as you both hear cheers and the noise of fireworks going off in the background. 

you pull away and giggle, “happy new year, Hajime.” 

still stunned, he can’t seem to find his words for a few seconds, “This is going to be such a good year...” 

laughing at his comment and dazed expression you take his hand and pull him with you, walking towards the bathroom down the hall. he follows you and looks around nervously but no one notices you two as they are all engrossed with the festivities of music and dancing. the bathroom door is shut and locked and you both look at each other, basking in the silence and tension. 

this time, Hajime is the first to make a move, grabbing your face and kissing you with the passion you’ve heard so much about. tongues dance and hands roam over each other, feeling bold you kiss down his neck and move lower, kneeling on the floor until you reach the waistband of his denim pants, teasing the button with your index finger.

his stunning eyes meet with yours from above, hooded with lust, you give him a wink, “If you let me, I can make the start of your year so much better.”

thx for reading and here's to 2024 <3

networks: @enchantedforest-network @angelshub

[worldwide-simp]

Diary of the inferior

Scp x reader

(isn't really proof-read )

This is something I had written a few words of, stored in my drafts and didn't let it see the light of day (see what I did there hehe) for some time. But I have now finished it (kinda) and its certainly one of my longest pieces. 

(The first few entries are short and poorly written, but it becomes better after some time.)

warnings: gore, kinda pessimistic views, I hate Entry 1 with all my heart, false reality, violence, euthanasia, body horror, religious talk, death.

Scp 105 is post Omega-7, she’s 24 here.

Entry 1: New Beginnings

Dear Diary, 

Maybe I should’ve listened when people told me to never take strange job opportunities.  

I thought it was perfect, I was working in a shop on minimum wage, and I could barely afford simple life necessities.

I still had to pay off my student debt and that made life all the harder. When I saw this strange opportunity presented to me by a shady caucasian man, I believed that this would be my saving light. 

I wish I had been shot that day. A bullet mysteriously found its way into my skull. A news reported merely stated it was an accident; or running from that horrid officer only to “disappear” and never see the light of day again.

I just wish that death had claimed me as one of their countless victims before immortality and the infinite loop of time laid hands upon me.

—-

Entry 2: the flower of beloved Iris

Dear Diary, 

On my photo ID, there was my smiling face. It was a smile of pure joy. You could glance at it and call it cheeky if you dared. But I was merely innocent. Innocent as a human could be. 

After the photo had been taken, I was briefed on what I’d be doing. A rambling speech about the foundation's lack of care for qualified staff and instead people with logic and reasoning. 

That gave you a fighting chance, because how bad could this job be if you just needed a little logic?  I met a girl a few weeks later. I always wondered why she had that camera with her. Perhaps it had been a dear hobby of hers? 

I found out my presumption was wrong when she took a photograph of a flower in a vase some distance away, took the picture out and then proceeded to stick her hand in the image; giving me the flower after twirling it in her fingers. 

Iris seemed proud of making me joyful, I believed I laughed all night. I later placed the flower on my desk, and even after it wilted and its petals fragile and bleak; I still folded it into my pocket and to this day it still resides there. 

She was more on the quiet side but still gave me those sad smiles with dimples on her cheeks.  I had distinctively remembered wondering about the cause of those scars on her eyelid, jaw and hands.  — 

Entry 3: false reality

Dear Diary, 

I found out Iris was an anomaly; an Scp, if you wanted a more precise definition. This was told to me by a person higher on the foundation hierarchy for its staff. Not Iris herself. 

Was I slightly hurt? Yes. 

It had left me staring into a void, although I had seen her camera doing its magic. I must have created some false reality in my head that explained this bizarre situation. 

At the time, I was scrawling through my notebook with such vigour it was comparable to an inspired writer. I was not inspired in a awestriking way. Simply wanting to write about my trepidations concerning this topic and send the letter to me in a shitty way of making myself laugh.

(Mind you, if you too were stuck as a lab assistant watching sentient doughnuts bite people, you almost certainly develop terrible humour.)

—

Entry 4: the beginning of the end

Dear Diary, 

Something strange had occurred.

I had been assigned a mission. Naturally I was confused. Lab assistants being assigned things other than cleaning up the blood after cross-testings? It was something I found most peculiar. 

They, (foundation staff),had suited me up in some strange black equipment, handed me a gun and pushed me over to some people waiting inside a black van.

I don't even have a formal qualification to handle a gun; I had screamed. Why would this be happening? I remember saying that to myself. over and over again.

A pathetic mantra that I so feebly considered answered by the many voices in my head. I cried. Then I wiped the liquid with my hand; I had refused the notion that I was a weak, feeble creature hiding the true meaning of my nature. 

When I really was just that. 

All those other people had kept their heads down, mindlessly fidgeting with their hands or drumming their fingers nervously on the knee. I merely stared at the wall, already feeling the sensation of butterflies fluttering in my stomach. 

I didn't know them, and at this rate; I would never.

—

Entry 5: pathetic chess games

Dear diary, 

They had gotten off the van, dressed in full tactical gear and shivering with a dreadful fear. This situation felt wrong and I memorized the look of someone who knew too much. It was in a puddle of water. It was my face.

Perhaps I was seeing the foreshadows of fate that dangled right in front of my eyes. But I saw nothing, heard nothing and knew nothing. This was all one of the many cruel games the foundation played, killing people as if they were mere chess pieces. 

All just to win to the game, only for another to proceed after that.

—

Entry 6: the majority and the minority

Dear Diary, 

 Scp-001 S. D. Locke’s proposal is one of the many 001 proposals that exist: detailing the sun becoming a hostile being that eradicates human beings, converts them into sentient piles of flesh which aim to find unconverted humans and drag them into the sunlight, for them too to become those hideous masses of skin. 

The scenario occurred in my timeline, at first I didn't know what was happening, only that the other staff members had screamed about the light being good and holy before I heard the most awful noises.

It squelched, moaned and cried. I suppressed gags and muffled my mouth with a cloth. What the fuck was happening? Where had they all gone? Why do they sound not human anymore?

I had ran out from the cover of the van to shield under the safety of a building, not before looking back and laying my eyes upon a horror of flesh melting away under the rays of the hostile sun, dragging its amorphous clumps of bodies towards me. 

They had once been human like myself. I had only saved myself but not them. I should go join them to redeem myself to the judging light and have my sins cleansed. I was a wretched human not worthy of being alive. 

I kept on running, determined to never let the sun touch my skin ever again. I had slammed the door of the building. It was desolate and empty. When I’d step on the ground too hard, I could hear the echoes of the impact.

The was a distinctive waft of bleach, specifically chlorine that reminded me of swimming pools. There was a lack of furnacing; which reminisced the not-so-distant memory of my office. I took shallow breaths, slumping down to the ground and rubbing a sore ligament. 

This was a weak thing a human could do, but I sobbed. I cried and cried until I felt like everything went numb. But it cleared my mind slightly, feeling less like a suffocating cloth and more so like a haze of cloud. 

I felt around in my breast pocket, closing my fingers around a packet and tearing it off and chewed on the granola bar slowly. My mouth felt dry and my throat burned, however, despite the lack of comfort, I still ate. 

I pondered on what I could do. Could I stay here and call for backup or try to find someone who was still alive? 

I sighed, then fiddled with the packet from the granola bar. Was I at fault for my comrades being turned into those abominations of flesh? I could've saved them; told them to stay inside the van and that I’d go out and check. It would’ve resulted in my death, but wasn't appeasing the majority a more important factor than the minority? 

—

Entry 7: The silence of the lamb

Dear Diary,  

I had a radio that I had snatched last minute from the van before dashing off. I had tried reaching out to anyone I could. But there was only silence.

—

Entry 8: Nihilism

Dear Diary, 

I had successfully contacted a person without being disoriented by loud static. I heard heavy breathing, it was loud and quite alarming. There was a persistent sloshing of liquid in the background. It was quiet for a few seconds; eerily quiet. Before someone spoke. 

“You are alone. You will stay forever alone if you do not accept the beautiful light. Go outside.” 

I threw the radio to a corner of the room, and it broke into several pieces. The voice didn't sound human anymore, it was distorted with an otherworldly passion. I was so blinded by the anger that had irrationally consumed me for a second I broke my only means of communication.  

Maybe I would be truly alone if I didn't go outside.

There was nothing to live for anymore.

—

Entry 9: kiss away the gore

Dear Diary, 

If loneliness was the way I would die, perhaps it would be better to perish in the sun than of hunger and the echoing quiet. I lived in cowardliness and fear. I can be free where I belong. 

I opened the door I had blocked two days ago. Such a feeble mind, but I had found revelation.  I will cleanse my body of this impurity, harbouring sins and the devil's hands caressing my skin. 

I will burn it all away. 

This was the only way I would be accepted, then I’d find peace. 

I stepped into the sunlight and stared at the scarlet sun's beauty. I felt my skin being pulled apart, melting into a puddle of goo, bones liquefying and a boiling feeling. My human mouth shrieked, but that was insignificant. My fingers merged together before becoming a singular stump and my body was crafted new.

There was an agony I couldn't describe in words. No matter how many times I may rip out this page and rewrite it countless times, no work of poetry could ever shed light on the feeling. 

My body was crafted pristine, I now moved surprisingly fast. The puddle of goo had moulded itself into the body of my absolute nature. I sought new flesh. That I would bind myself to another pure being. 

Later, I stumbled across a facility devoid of people, there were only pools of blood on the floor. The once pure white walls had undertones of fleshy colours. If I were still human, I would've gagged at the goriness of it all.

But I didn't, instead I lurked deeper into the building. A net ensnared my body all of a sudden, and I choked out a throaty snarl. A familiar figure loomed over me, with a knife poised at my throat. 

I gnashed my fleshy teeth together, reaching out to capture this impure human and bring it to the light. But the creases under their eyes faded, tossed the knife to the side and removed the netting. 

What was this revolting human doing-

I was engulfed in an embrace, a hand of theirs resting on the small of my back and the other placed upon my throat, pushing it back. Almost as if it was endeavouring for me not to rip out their face.

“I can't believe something like this could happen to such a beautiful person like you.” They murmured, gripping my body tighter like I would dissolve into ash at any moment. My jaw snapped abruptly and they hushed me. 

I heard the shuffling of fabric. Cool metal grazed my face before I heard them speak again; “It must be painful for you, I’ll shoot you so you can rest peacefully.” 

Then they squeezed my back with such gentleness it would be hard to imagine that someone like this would shoot me. 

The last things I felt were the soft fluttering of my dead heart, a soft kiss on the lips and seeing their appearance one more time. Admiring their shortly cut blond hair, scars adorning their face and cerulean blue eyes. 

Those beloved dimples showed as they smiled so miserably at the prospect of being alone once again. But this was for your sake. 

“Wait-”

She pulled the trigger. 

And you saw nothing. 

[justatypicalwizard]

Not the right fit | S. Shinazugawa

✦ My piece for the autumn collab by @love-and-lore. Theme- sweater!

✦ Synopsis: Miju knits a sweater and it all goes wrong when Shinazugawa gets involved, like always!

✦ Genre: enemies to lovers, frenemies dynamic, all character are in the same friends croup, college au, self-ship

✦ Warnings: swearing

✦ Word count: 1,5k

Miju doesn't really enjoy fall. No matter how romantic, nostalgic or pretty people picture it, the only thing that she likes about fall is Halloween. Every time fall comes over the corner Miju throws herself into hobbies that will take her mind off the wet, foggy weather outside. Mostly it's crafting or preparing a halloween costume.

This fall was no different. Looking at the pile of creative materials bunched up in her closet Miju spotted a bunch of wool, white and green. It was soft and thick. What better thing to do as the air gets cold and crispy than to knit yourself a sweater. Miju went for an oversized white with green elements, otherwise it would look like a christmas tree.

Handmade stuff takes literal hours to make, believe me. For Miju it was a pain in the ass to find the right tutorial where the author would kindly not cover half the screen with their thumb. Then it was knitting itself and figuring how to make it work. Grunts and swears accompanied Miju every time she realised she made a mistake and had to start a big chunk entirely over.

Well, the time and nerves always pay off when you put the finished thing over your head, slip your arms into the piece and it fits perfectly... at least that's what it should look like. Instead Miju examined herself in the mirror comming to the horrendous conclusion that she looks like a freaking snowman, Santa Claus, like she's seven months pregnant with twins. It was too big, there was no way she could make it work anyhow without ripping the whole thing apart and starting from the begining. She was not doing that, it took her a whole month. Angry and dissapointed she threw the sweater on her chair and sat on the floor, deflated. That's what you get for not fitting it mid-process.

The next day Miju glanced at the tragic piece of work and decided not to give up on it just yet. She just has to find some fitting tutorials and how to shrink wool. Can't be that hard can it?

Nope, no, what are thole chemicals even? Did she use acrylic wool? Of course she did, shit. Miju kicked under her seat at the library, scrolling through page after page of internet tips on how to make that damn sweater work. She was frustrated and dissapointed. Just as she thought the afternoon couldn't get any worse she saw a certain someone approaching her tucked away desk. Seriously, can't you just leave people sitting in the corner alone?

A glimpse of white hair made her sigh and put on a fake smile.

"What do you want Shinazugawa?" She sighed out.

Sanemi and Miju didn't like each other, or should I say maybe hated one another? It was hard to grasp. She was more than done with his rude and simply annoying behaviour. She couldn't understand how shitty one person can be to everyone without a specific reason. Just how angry can one man be? On his end, nah, she didn't know why he despiced her just as much, maybe it bounced off of her right onto him.

They still saw each other a lot due to their shared friends group. They were kindla like frenemies, always poking at each other but never really starting any drama for the sake of the whole group. At least that's what Miju thought.

"You look like you're about to cry." Was he being sarcastic?

"I'm not. What do you want?" No sense letting him under her skin. It would be stupid to get angry over a single comment.

"The paper."

Okay, it clicked in her mind. Reaching down she fumbled through her bag, pushing the ugly sweater to the side. Finally she pulled out the file and handed it to Shinazugawa.

As much as she disliked the white haired she loved to work with him. Every university project that she had the opportunity to do with him came out great. He was intellingent, reliable and focused on his goals making him a perfect partner. Well, at least if you like to work with the devil himself.

"Something's poking out of your bag." Shinazugawa pointed down.

"It's... nothing. Anything else you need from me?" Keep it simple, keep him at a distance. That way he will neither annoy you nor feel like you don't commit to your shared work.

"What is it?" He gave the redhead woman a raised brow glance. "Just curious." He added, as if knowing he had to give her a good enough reason.

"Ah fuck it." Miju grabbed the sweater and pulled it out forcefuly. "It's an ugly sweater I've made and it's too damn big for me so I'm trying to shrink it. I've spent hours making it and I'm absolutely mad and dissapointed." She wiggled the lumping piece in front of her.

"Did you measure it mid-work?"

"No, no I didn't." Her eyes just pleaded 'leave me alone'.

"Dumbass." Shinazugawa snickered under his breath eying the sweater.

"Have you ever done anything like that? It's easy to fuck up you know. Don't laugh at me." Miju knew this was exactly what he wanted. He loved to strike at her ego and then argue with her. He must have been having a lot of fun right now.

"I'm not. It's just stupid that you don't look at what you're doing. It would take one glance to realise you're making it too big."

"Thank you for the marvelous advice, unfortunately it's already fucked up."

"Put it on and let me take a photo. My aunt's a seamstress, maybe she can make it work somehow if I send her the pic." Shinazugawa was already digging in his pocked for his phone.

"Are you serious? I'm just supposed to let you take a photo of my failure?"

"You want to wear it or throw it out?"

"Geez, okay." Maybe it won't be as bad. If that aunt really could help somehow, Miju's work wouldn't go to waste. She was grasping at straws right now.

The redhead wiggled into the sweater and stood in a T-pose while Shinazugawa took two quick photos, one of the front and one of her back.

"Since when do you have a seamstress aunt?" Miju asked while turning around and taking the sweater off.

"I don't have. Just wanted a photo of your failure."

How can anyone saw something so cruel with such a straight face?

He played a joke on her, she fell right into his trap and he was giving that sarcastic smile just now, looking at the photos.

"You know what? Have the failure all to yourself." Spating out Miju threw the whole damn sweater at Shinazugawa, grabbed her bag and pushed past him feeling too humiliated to talk to him any more. She also didn't want to admit to him that it was a well performed joke and if the tables were to turn around she would do the exact same thing.

The next day Mitsuri skipped to Miju while she was settling down for a lecture.

"You've never knitted anything for me!" The pink haired seemed upset out of nowhere.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean the sweater!"

"What sweater?"

"The one that you made for Sanemi!"

"I didn't do any sweater for Shinazu..."

That fucking prick!

"What did he tell you?" Miju went from zero to hundred in a matter of seconds, interrogating Mitsuri as if her life depended on that.

"He told us that you made him a sweater."

There was nothing more Mitsuri had to tell as Shinazugawa entered the lecture room, in her sweater. It actually fit him perfectly, just as it was supposed to fit Miju in her imagination. If not the circumstances she would say that he looked nice in it.

"That ass!" Miju whispered poking the air in his direction.

"So you didn't make him that sweater?" Mitsuri was honestly lost at this point.

Of course she didn't and she'll tell... he had the photos. He had those awful photos. Okay Shinazugawa, you win this time.

"Yes, I've made him a sweater." Miju felt bad for lying to Mitsuri.

"Why did you make him a sweater?"

"Because I felt like it." Miju was out of ideas, stuck in a corner.

"You felt like it? Oh oh! Does this mean you and Sanemi..."

"No no no! Oh god please stop with the sweater already."

"Okay." The pink haired shrugged. "I still know what I know."

The patient was dead. This was a lost case. Mitsuri now got ideas, Miju lost the sweater and Shinazgawa had a mental win over her that will sting her ass for the next month.

Throughout the lecture Miju kept looking at Shianzugawa and the sweater. He seemed to knead the hem of it's sleeve in his hand all the time. Even though heavens seemed to doom Miju today she couldn't shrug off the warm feeling. Out of all people, Sanemi himself, was wearing a sweater she made. Maybe she could think about a small revenge plan for later.

[safelace25]

240424 Mt. Guemdang

I hiked Mt. Geumdang in Pyeongchang, Republic of Korea, yesterday. Shit, it was crazy. I had no idea how hellish the mountain was. I swear to God, it was one of the most difficult hiking path I’d ever experienced aside from a path in Hokkaido, Japan, where there is a warning sign of black bears. (At least there are hardly any predators in Korean mountains since most of them were driven to extinction during the Japanese colonial era.)

When I checked the route before departure, there was certainly a hiking path that appeared on the map, and I thought it would be easy for me to just follow one path, which turned out to be a silly prediction. Yes, there was only one official path, absolutely, but the problem was it hadn’t been used for a long time and was covered with messy, unregulated plants and bushes, making it unrecognizable. But thankfully, it didn’t matter that much to me, at least one the way up, as I am good at finding hidden paths created by former hikers or villagers. However, when I turned to go back down at the summit, the real challenge just started right then and there.

Bloody hell, I don’t know how many times I cursed while struggling to find a decent path, not wanting to go through such naturally thick bushes! It was incomparably hard to recognize them on the way down, even my earlier footprints. Even if I found it, I would often lose it the next moment, and it took me a few minutes to discover the lost path again in confusion and to lose it again. And amidst the mess, I found it.

Something on the ground covered with leaves: a jawbone of an animal. I stopped and picked it up to stare.

Generally, hiking a mountain is like an active relaxing time to me, giving opportunities for me to pause and breathe in the pure green, to slow down my heartbeat or the opposite—to feel being alive, surrounded by beautiful mother nature. But the hike to Mt. Geumdang was not like that. I was so tired and even bored all the way and honestly didn’t feel like hiking that day beforehand, but I went on with it anyway because I had planned it during the weekdays. Consequently, the hike felt like homework, not a hobby for fun and joy. It didn’t even give me a moment to appreciate the view from the summit, just a quick turn to go back.

But the bone stopped me on that tiresome journey. It gave me a solid few minutes to examine it out of innocent curiosity like a child, since it was my very first time discovering a bone while exploring nature. It was supposed to be from a herbivore, I guessed, because its teeth were all flat like human teeth, like mine. It reminded me of a water deer that had run away through bushes at the entrance of the hiking road. So, a poor water deer died here for some reason and had been lying here all alone until I found it? Huh. I seriously considered taking it home but soon gave up and put it down gently on the ground again. That was its place, not my home or a shrine shelf of achievement. somehow, I felt like it.

And since then, from the moment I stood up again to go on, I could start looking around at my surroundings. The sun was slowly setting toward the west side of the sky, illuminating the whole area nearby. I saw the light of the sunset rippling through the treetops, which made me stare in awe and take a photo, the moss covering the surface of rocks indicating that the place had been well protected for a long time from sunshine by thick and tall trees that provided enough shade for them to grow in the humid air of the area, which I experienced mainly in Japanese mountains.

But sadly, I did not have enough time to fully enjoy the atmosphere. As I said, the sun was already setting, which meant time was running out while I kept missing the path repeatedly, damn it.

The last half of the descent was along a wooded valley, so I thought it would become easy to follow the path, but it was not due to the huge rocks and even cliffs on the side of the valley! No! And the rocks became more slippery since they were near flowing water now, noooooo! I realized at one point that I was crawling down or up the valley-side rocks many times to find the right route—no, to survive.

Along the way, I thought I spotted someone looming over me in the distance over rock cliffs or bushes several times, which turned out to be an illusion every time. I think now it was due to my fear of getting lost in the dark, alone in the untouched, cruel nature. Eerie, spooky, even chilling. All I wanted at that point was to get back to my accommodation as soon as possible, not capable of appreciating anything from goddamn mother nature!

Well, eventually, I survived, and now I am writing this sitting in front of my desk. I can say now the experience was valueable it because I gained a story to tell my friends for fun over a dinner table, getting criticized that I’m crazy as usual.

[mikuni14]

Be My Favorite Ep 9

I was worried that BMF might lose some quality as soon as Kawi and Piseang became a couple, but again the show didn't disappoint me 💖 Piseang and Kawi have been true to their personalities, they still have GREAT communication, they still talk to each other a lot and Piseang is a relentless flirt 😁

What I also like is that the series has scenes that I objectively don’t like, but which fit the plot and characters' personalities: - Piseang gives Kawi a choice: me or the work/hobby, which isn't cool. But somehow it fits in with Piseang in this moment, who FINALLY got Kawi, though he just thought it would never happen and would selfishly want to keep him by his side for as long as possible. It also matches the behavior of Piseang - A Rich Boy, who has a different view of these things than Kawi - the same differences in the view of money showed up in his offer to buy a phone (also thanks for the nice flashback to Unintentional Love Story😉) - I personally hate this trope when one of the MLs insists on kissing (or sex) and the other keeps rejecting it, acting like the physical aspect of love is, idk, inferior or dirty. I didn't like Kawi's behavior, but on the other hand, his reluctance to kiss in public turned out to be right after what Not did. Besides, Kawi is that kind of a person: he easily gives in to emotions, he panics, he doesn't know how to behave, he always wants to look and act the best and not let anyone down, he has low self-esteem and a lot of anxiety, he is skittish, so maybe he just needs more time for physical closeness. Especially when it's with a man. Piseang has already gone this journey and feels confident, and Kawi has only just discovered his attraction to a man, having been in love with a woman and convinced of his sexual orientation all the time and needs time to adjust. I don't think physical intimacy is a problem for Kawi (after all, they've kissed before), so I decided not to care about it much 😎

I really like that Piseang always confronts Kawi, that he always tells him about his feelings and how Kawi's behavior makes him feel. Because it gives Kawi the opportunity to explain himself and cut off all speculations, false scenarios created in Piseang's head. And I love it, I don't understand why all other shows prefer to create tension and build the plot on misunderstandings, when they can shoot an exciting and interesting scene where the characters confront, where they clash with each other and explain things.

Kawi worrying about others, feeling guilty that he is happy and others are not, is exactly what I expected of him. Plus, he's just a good guy, and it's obvious he'll care. I really liked Piseang's reaction, who did not ignore Kawi's worries and supported him at the moment. Fortunately, the show AGAIN didn't let me down and cut off any possibility of Pear's relationship with Not *shudders*, Pear and Not scene was so good! Actually, the whole Pear’s story in this episode, her private life, was great. I have no idea what Kwan sees in Not. But nice girls falling in love with complete assholes is something I've seen, so it's actually very real. The other thing that I liked is that Piseang and Pear, though angry with Kawi, still manage to stand up for him and act decently. Also Kawi sticking to his decision not to drink? Piseang respecting his decision and supporting him, taking his drink (another nice flashback to The Untamed this time)? How cool is that! 💖

BMF is a VERY, VERY GOOD SERIES ✨

[justsomerandomfanfic]

🌙 Hi!! Can I please have a Tolkien, Harry Potter, Marvel and a Star Wars romantic matchup?? Thank You! (and forgive me if I make a mistake in the writing, I'm not fluent in english yet♡)

I'm pansexual and genderfluid, that uses all the pronouns.

I'm a brazilian, my house is Slytherin (but I have LOTS of Ravenclaw qualities), my sign is Leo and MBTI is INTJ. I have tan skin, dimples, brown eyes, straight black hair that goes below my waist and bangs. About my body, I think what stands out the most are the really thick thighs and the hands and feet that are really small. I wear glasses (I have astigmatism and myopia, my grade is VERY high); where i live is SO hot but i really like to wear sweats and pants so sometimes it's kind of hard but i think i wear any kind of clothes? I like to experiment with new styles and I really want to dye my hair but I didn't have the opportunity; I'm absolutely addicted to wearing necklaces, bracelets and especially rings, I'm always wearing several.

I have a quiet, observant, sarcastic and motherly personality, although from a distance it seems that I will be rude to you, I will actually be very calm and give you soft smiles. I can get stressed out easily but I don't show anything but glare, and above all I NEVER raise my voice, even in a fight the only thing I'm going to do is keep my voice calm with a firm, authoritative tone. I LOVE protecting and caring for people and listening to them talk about what they like, I always give them my FULLY attention. My love language is 100% touch, I am always touching the people I like and care about. Another thing is that I'm not a submissive person in a relationship, like NO, AT ALL; and i absolutely hate going into water, like, sea, pools, lake, I don't know how to swim and I panic.

I'm completely in love with all kinds of art, especially dancing (I'm ALWAYS dancing while listening to music, which is pretty much all day long) and drawing/painting (sometimes I end up doing a whole drawing and not even realize it). I love reading and I always have a book with me, physical or digital. I love animals, I have cats, dogs, parrots, turtles and cockatiels, and I would give my life for them all without a second thought. Oh, I also love anything horror related with passion and bake, most of the time I don't even eat, I just bake and give it to people because I love it when they say they like what I made.

Thank you so much for requesting a matchup! I hope you like it! (And I have a turtle too! His name is Turbo) <333

---

Tolkien;

Thranduil:

🦌 You met Thranduil with the Company, the Elf King was immediately awestruck, he had never really seen anyone quite like you, like an deity; instead of throwing you in a cell, he went and asked your questions

🦌 The questions about your reasons of being with the Dwarves slowly bubbled into asking you about your hobbies and interests; even though you were a bit wary of the King, you told him that you were a huge baking fan and loved to dance and listen to music

🦌 This interested the King, he was almost tempted to ask you to ditch the Company and throw a ball, he wanted the chance to ask you to dance; but before he had the chance to say or do anything, the next morning you and the Company were gone

🦌 You saw Thranduil again during the battle, helping him with the orcs came a bit too close, you and the Elf King fought side by side, back to back; together you were unstoppable

🦌 In the end of the battle, when all orcs were dead and gone, Thranduil asked if you wanted to stay with him in his kingdom, and of course, you said yes; only then did Thranduil told you about his love for you, and only a few weeks later did you become a ruler beside him

---

Harry Potter;

Lucius Malfoy:

🐍 You met Lucius back in Hogwarts, being in the same year and house as him, you did interact with the young man, but his ideals soft of spooked you; but that didn't stop you from being civil with him, though you were a Slytherin, you were kind to all and didn't believe in all the pure blood stuff

🐍 Lucius on the other hand, disliked you to a point, but by the end of the fifth year, he almost seemed to change, but that all seemed to crash down after he was arranged to marry Narcissa; he went back to being cold and cruel, and then you didn't see him for another ten or more years

🐍 As the new DADA professor, you ran into Lucius when he came to the school to talk to Dumbledore, and you were shocked; you froze actually, greeting each other awkwardly as your minds raced with unknown and mixed forgotten feelings, (you hadn't gotten over him)

🐍 When you saw Lucius again, he came to your class during your break, he asked about his son and how he was doing until the conversation went to what the two of you have done since your days at Hogwarts; it was... Nice, sort of, and you could almost see that sweet old Lucius with every gray glint in his eyes

🐍 That was when he said he got divorced a couple of years ago, or well, Narcissa left him, sharing custody of Draco, and Lucius wanted to let you know about the feelings he felt for you that he pushed away during your school days; you both didn't want to speed through any relationship, so day by day you both allowed yourselves to get closer, and really, everything went perfectly (until Voldy came back)

---

Marvel;

Erik Killmonger:

🔪 You were partners with Everett, staying back with him in Wakanda to help the Queen, Princess Shuri, and T'Challa; but, you had a secret that not even Everett knows about

🔪 You used to know Erik, yeah, awkward... and he recognized you too, you never thought you'd see him again, after so many years; and even though Erik was a somewhat cold and calculating person, his old feelings for you resurfaced

🔪 He was panicking a bit actually, he had pushed himself for taking over Wakanda and avenging his father that when he saw you again, he sort of freaked out as his heart began to race and his mind ran with only thoughts of you; you were feeling the same, and you were going to do something about it

🔪 Sneaking away from M'Baku's people, T'Challa, the Queen, and Everett, you sneaked back into the kingdom, where you almost got skewered but Erik stopped his new royal guards; you both slid away for a more private conversation, where you both talked about what had happened, and you asked him if he'd stop trying to take over Wakanda, Erik seemed hesitant but agreed, (for you)

🔪 Erik surrendered, and you were happy that he wouldn't get killed, and since this was probably a big blow to his pride, you stayed with Erik as much as you could and made sure he was alright; he was grateful for you and grateful that T'Challa understood him as well (he loves the sunsets here when he watches them with you)

---

Star Wars;

Anakin Skywalker:

✨ You met Anakin when you were a Jedi and he was still a Padawan, being friends with Obi-Wan, you were introduced to Anakin; immediately when Anakin saw you, he was like, "Wow, look at those dimples," and you were like, "Wow, can't wait until he's a Jedi and he grows out that hair,"

✨ You were sent on a lot of mission with Anakin and Obi-Wan, during that mission you were sure to protect Anakin as much as you could when you saw him struggling, (which was hardly ever); Anakin did the same, also feeling a need to protect you, (which you also hardly needed)

✨ After one particular mission, you confessed to Anakin that you had feelings for him, and good thing for you, he felt the same; and that's when you and Anakin began courting/dating

✨ When you two weren't busy, you and Anakin would walk about whatever planet you were on, looking at the nature while you spoke about animals, books, music, and food; most of the time you'd joke around and play childish games together

✨ You knew you truly loved him when he saved you from Palpatine, knowing that the man was tricking him about you; after the huge battle and feeling thankful that most Jedis found a way to escape, Anakin found a small hut to call home with you, and as a promise of his everlasting love, he bought you a necklace

---

[sogno-ao3]

some swirling thoughts about social media and reading

tl;dr: read what you like, don't worry about whether it is popular or not. don't conflate 'popular' with 'good.' resist consumerism and commodification.

I gave #booktok a (fair?) shake about two years ago, when I read most of the popular books in that space... and I was woefully disappointed. I did the same thing with NYT Bestsellers, a few years prior; also woefully disappointed.

yes, it comes down to personal preferences. I am not an arbiter of taste. I prefer to read works that make me think and stay with me, and if I were to reread, I gain new perspectives. a lot of the so-called popular books are great for a pop of exhilaration, but once that high is over, one desperately searches for the next book to give that high. this is one of my theories in why people who read those kinds of books amass huge libraries and brag about reading more than 100 books a year. rereading works like these is more about comfort, nostalgia, and indulgence rather than engaging more deeply with the work...

in order to find books to read, I've found greatest success with asking my friends, doing my own research, browsing bookstores and reading employee recommendations. I don't stress about finishing books; if I don't like it, I'll put it down. I don't stress about reading a set number of books; some books are slow to get through, and that's all right. I don't rush to the bookstore, I wait to borrow it from my library. I personally only have a physical library of maybe 30 books.

I feel disheartened to see books transformed into another hobby of endless collecting and aesthetics, inaccessible without ample space and money.

I do see the effects of fanfiction on books in social media. the millennial generation, grown up on ao3 and fanfiction.net, finally have become experienced enough to be working with traditional publishers. I am very happy to see an increase in diversity and subject matter.

however, I often struggle with my own intersectional subset of writers, namely (East) Asian Americans who come from comfortable backgrounds who dominate the Asian American writing scene. it is laughingly common to have an author either be independently rich, have a career already as [high-powered job] and moonlight as a writer on the side. this homogeneity is reflected in our work which tends to feature high-achieving Asians who inevitably make their way in the world. and Mollie... is no exception. I can't change my background, but I hope, if I were ever in a position to do so, to be an advocate for those in my community who may have less opportunity.

[letpaimonbitepeople]

a collection of my Childe headcanons (from my fic)

part 1 of ??

featuring aroace!Childe, PTSD, contradictions, self-awareness, and Pulcinella slander

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He heard there was a type of hooked sword used in Liyue, always in pair, that fell out of favor and completely disappeared from the smithies. Years ago he mastered a hooked sword made by a retired Snezhnayan smith who'd taken to producing more creative designs as a hobby.

-------------------------------------

Being out in the elements isn't something he minds (unless it's hot and there are mosquitoes)

-------------------------------------

He estimates that six days in [the Mystic Onmyou Chamber] took a similar toll, in terms of muscle strain if nothing else, as...somewhere around thirty seconds of Foul Legacy, give or take depending on how fresh he goes into it and how fast he moves.

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The farthest Childe has been into Mondstadt is Dragonspine

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[when asked if he believes his ends justify his means:] "Hmm. I could explain in a few different ways... Let's go with this. There are many people in the world who have achieved excellence in combat. I'm not alone in seeking that kind of power at all costs. The stronger I get, the higher I rise on the list of Teyvat's greatest warriors that no one's written. I take the place of those I exceed. There's someone at the top. Why shouldn't that be me instead? And by taking that place, I would conquer the world."

-------------------------------------

Amid his fantasies of growing powerful enough at the Traveler's side to defeat all the other Harbingers, he knew he had to face the question of his family at some point. He did know. The Fifth Harbinger, Pulcinella, has been looking after his family for years and, to a degree, that was comforting knowledge. He even treats Childe himself like family. But Childe has known, too, for most of those years, that he can't fully trust the Rooster's motivations; he's still a Harbinger, with all the opaque schemes that title implies. He's not ungrateful for the old man's kindness. Part of him wishes he could trust him more, but Pulcinella has a ruthless side when it comes to Fatui 'assets' beneath him, and that doesn't sit well with Childe.

He's reluctant to face how intractably complex his situation actually is.

-------------------------------------

Joining the Fatui wasn't his choice. Even so, he hadn't minded it, to say the least. It gave him much of what he desired at the time. The structure chafed a little, but he saw it as a good bargain: just follow orders and he'd get training, experience, and opportunities to kill without inconvenient repercussions. Then he became a Harbinger and met the Tsaritsa that same day, gaining much freer rein and the inspiration of an authority figure who was worth his utmost respect.

-------------------------------------

Too often he was cooped up in the Northland Bank with paperwork: reports, orders, assignments, requisitions, logistics, intel. He generally didn't even have time to ignore propriety and go out collecting the bank's debts himself. Fatui operations in Liyue required much more attention from him after the Osial incident than before.

-------------------------------------

On his long walk he's been keeping a hungry eye out for nobushi, Treasure Hoarders, hilichurls—anything he can sink a blade into. The tension in his body is a particular sensation that makes him feel like he needs to crack every joint at once. Getting into a fight would loosen him up at least, and maybe even clear his head.

[...]

Childe is starting to get a taste of adrenaline. It's only been two days since he last got to savor it, but he missed it. It's a prickling sensation in his chest, not the sweet stab that emergency adrenaline gives him, but the faster he moves, the more that cleansing prickle spreads through his limbs.

-------------------------------------

"Sorrow and hesitation are the enemy of an implacable weapon." He'd said that to Shiki Taishou. He completely believes in those words. It's too bad he doesn't live up to them.

-------------------------------------

He always tries to pick up some local phrases when he gets to travel to a new place.

-------------------------------------

[...] dodging and ducking and jumping with increasing acrobatics just to feel himself move.

[...]

"Just because you can backflip into a lateral spin doesn't mean you should. Ha, anyone who's seen me fight would call me a hypocrite for saying that. But when I make use of acrobatics, it's to maintain a certain momentum, as well as to overwhelm my opponent with attacks from many angles." Childe lazily twirls his Hydro polearm, switching the direction and grip every few seconds: fidgeting, but quite relaxed, almost like a cat kneading its claws into a sofa cushion. "Often, it's assisted by my Vision, letting me conserve some of the physical energy such movements can be expected to cost. You might be able to do something similar with your own Vision, but for now, you're spending too much effort for what you're gaining in positional advantages."

-------------------------------------

If he's Zhongli's wallet (and he knows he is), Pantalone—or 'Regrator'—is technically his. It's Regrator's financial activities that fund the Fatui so abundantly. That doesn't mean he enjoys interacting with the man. You can't attain that kind of wealth without every bone in your body being a conniving one.

[...]

He doesn't mind Zhongli's financial habits at all, and in fact he's developed an affection for the old man's idiosyncrasies. Maybe that was why he couldn't stay mad at him forever. That, and he doesn't have enough friends to lose Zhongli without eventually missing him more than the betrayal itself hurt him. (He prefers to think of it as 'injured pride,' but...it really hurt to be used that way by someone he'd made the mistake of not expecting it from.)

-------------------------------------

Indecision isn't his style

-------------------------------------

He checks the price on the menu again and lays enough Mora on the bar to cover a 50% tip as well.

"That's too much," Shimura observes.

"I included a tip, nothing to worry about."

"Alright then, if you're sure. Chopsticks?"

Childe has a hasty and rather nervous debate with himself over whether to take the utensils that have defeated him before. Since they're optional, eating with one's hands must be socially acceptable here. But he should probably give them another try... In a way, they're a weapon, aren't they? Theoretically? And he has to master every weapon.

-------------------------------------

He never thinks about sex or romance. It simply holds no interest for him, and that's been true since before the Abyss. Back then, the other teenagers in Morepesok mystified him with their relationships and their hushed, tittering discussions. All he dreamed of was adventure. His mother once said he was 'just a late bloomer.'

He has tried it. [...] It wasn't an unpleasant experience in any way, but it didn't enlighten him as to why sex is such a big deal for most people. He found it no better than having a nice meal, and it was nothing compared to a good, death-defying melee.

[...]

He's pretty self-assured that if he was ever capable of romantic love, he isn't anymore, for reasons that have nothing to do with natural inclination or lack thereof.

-------------------------------------

Not all of the fun that gets his heart pumping is violent these days: sometimes he'll surf down a waterfall or experiment with other applications of Hydro that aren't necessarily combat-related. But that's always when he's alone. At most, there were some foes he was on his way to.

-------------------------------------

The Abyss didn't change his perceptions of people very much, other than making him keenly aware at all times of every method by which he might kill whichever person he looks at, and making everpresent in his mind a deep curiosity as to whether a given person could win if he did attack them. But being in the Fatui? That scrubbed much of his original naivety out of him.

-------------------------------------

Childe isn't inclined to a lot of conscious tactical thinking; combat is a time to stop thinking and flow with his hard-won instincts.

-------------------------------------

There weren't many strays in Morepesok; the winter tended to cull them. There were a few, though. In the old days, Childe liked dogs and cats pretty equally. But after three months of fighting everything that moved, everything that moved looked like an enemy in his peripheral vision. It wasn't that he feared animals, it was that when he looked at an animal, just like with humans, he saw all too vividly how he could kill it. Kind of put a damper on things. Something like a dog or cat could never provide him a challenge, however, nor threaten his life, so he never wanted to harm one. That gulf between his new instincts and his desires was...uncomfortable. Better avoided than confronted.

It's been years, though. He's become used to those instincts and how they're always there regardless of context or intentions. He can ignore the almost premonition-like flashes of violence behind his eyes when he wants to.

He can ignore them, but they don't go away.

[...]

He's been followed by one dog or another in Liyue from time to time, but who hasn't?

They were never afraid of him. Even when he'd just walked out of a building where he'd nearly killed someone in a scuffle over a debt. Though he washed his hands in Hydro before leaving, they had to've still smelled like blood. It doesn't make sense. It doesn't square with the image he very rightfully has of himself as a bad and dangerous person.

Well, what do they know? Nothing, obviously.

-------------------------------------

He is proud of every scar he has, even the ones he got doing stupid things, because every one of them represents a lesson learned, a step on his path to power.

-------------------------------------

Childe was the codename he chose when he joined the Fatui. Tartaglia was the name he was awarded when he became a Harbinger.

-------------------------------------

The usual nightmare, if it can even be called that. It's the same every time, differing only in unimportant details. He'll be in the Abyss, running through the endless corridors, fighting his way through endless monsters. Running from nothing, to nothing. There is only the fight, the struggle, survival from moment to moment. He has always been there and he will always be there: that is his certainty in the dream.

It's old. Predictable. Trite. A nightmare at once too ham-fisted and too real to frighten him. It doesn't jolt him awake or anything dramatic like that. He typically wakes up in the morning just like the normal person he isn't, remembering the dream but not held in its sway.

[constellationcrowned]

((I want everyone to keep something in mind in regards to this blog and this is going to sound like a general, common sense post (and in a way it is) but it's also hi I'm in your house, whispering into your ear, telling you to call ga//amestop and ask them if they have bat//tleto//ads---, blah blah, basically it's personal too:

With me, regardless of blog or content, both communication and engagement go hand in hand. Communication and engagement needs to go both ways.

I love posting and reblogging memes and calls and will continue to do so but you folks---old mutual or new mutual doesn't matter---need to take the initiative yourself sometimes too. Be enthusiastic. Be spontaneous. Be proactive. I don't want to ask people to write with me all of the damn time nor do I want to chase after people all of the time because if I have to do that constantly over and over again it starts feeling incredibly one sided even when it isn't (because ofc people have lives, specific interests, anxiety, and whatever else which are all things that I deal with myself and I understand how that can stop someone from doing something, but that's how it feels especially over an extended period of time) and I don't need to explain how disheartening and draining that can be.

My seeming to interact with only one person---and for both of my blogs it's @magioffire and we all know that---it's not because we're being stuck up, elitist or whatever inane and incorrect term people want to throw at our feet it's because we engage and communicate. The give and take between us (both from an ic and ooc standpoint) never feels imbalanced or even transactional (I really hate using that word but, again I gotta stress this, that's how this makes me feel) and I have never felt like I needed to chase them down for an interaction or had to fight for a scrap of their time---which feels like a feat bc Blair has a lot of people scrambling at their door---and I cannot tell you how huge that is. That sounds like a huge sweeping thing to say, I know, but I mean it in all of the little ways too. I could post some stupid bullshit on here; not a starter or a meme just a little random muse thought or observation, and 100% of the time here comes Blair telling me what they think or adding on to it or just...whatever. They're here for both me and my muses for the big and small things, whenever I've asked and, more often than not, when I haven't (or couldn't) and that's incredibly important. It's that kind of stuff that makes what we have special and that's putting it super lightly. And yes, our relationship both as friends and as writers has developed over a long time, and we did click immediately that's true, but there's never been any doubt to cast upon the work and effort both of us have put forth.

And this post isn't to say that I'm demanding constant or immediate attention from you all---because, again, we all have lives, health issues, etc, etc, and all of that takes precedence over a hobby as I've said before and will say again and again---but....put some effort into it when you have the capability. Yes, like the calls that I post or send a meme in, absolutely, but also message me on your own and ask a question or shoot a muse a random prompt or just @ me in a post. Show me some enthusiasm and engagement on your end because right now it feels like I'm doing all the work all of the time and that's tiring. I'm tired of handing stuff to people all of the time---I'll keep doing it, obviously, because I need and want to engage on my end and love throwing stuff at people and providing opportunities---all I'm asking for is understanding and reciprocation.

If you can't reciprocate for whatever reason? Tell me.

If you're unsure about something, no matter what that something is? Tell me.

If you need help or even a specific kind of accommodation in order for us to start interacting or continue interacting? Tell me.

Don't just assume that I don't want to write with you or that you can't ask me for things. Don't assume that I'm being a snob or whatever else just because I seem to be paying attention to a certain mun full time because do you know what that actually is? That's friendship. That's effort. That's me giving back what I've been given. That's me reciprocating the enthusiasm, love and creativity that I've been handed, nothing more. There's nothing unobtainable or gatekeep-y about that either, you just need to be earnest and forthcoming with me and I can assure you that I'll return the favor in kind.))