#now I need to read the whole novel all over again with the revised version

[yeyayeya]

The new changes to the uncensored TGCF revised version are 👀

[staticscreenwriting]

LOVE LIKE THE MOVIES // BUCKY BARNES // 7

SEVEN - SERENDIPITY

Trigger warning: Alcohol, food

Masterlist

Summary: This is a story of boy meets girl. The boy, Bucky Barnes, finds himself thrown into a world that seems so different from everything he’s ever known. The girl, (Y/N) knows entirely too much about rom-coms and is quite particular about the way she eats her popcorn. Bucky meets (Y/N) a few months after returning to NYC. He knows almost immediately that becoming her friend is inevitable. This is a story of boy meets girl. This is a story about love. (Bucky Barnes x female!Reader // a few spoilers for TFATWS)

“Okay, that’s ridiculous!” Bucky mumbles around a spoonful of fruit loops.

“What is?”

“This,” he responds and points his now empty spoon accusingly at John Cusack. “This whole fate thing. The book, sure, might happen. But the dollar bill? Never!”

(Y/N) puts her empty bowl on the couch table, turning her body towards Bucky and sitting in a criss-cross style. “You telling me you don’t believe in fate and soulmates and that some people are destined to be together.”

“No,” Bucky retorts in a tone that implies it was a silly question to even ask him. “I am 106 years old. If those things were true you'd think I would've found my destined partner by now."

"Maybe you have" (Y/N) shrugs. "Maybe it's Leah. Have you called her anyway?"

Bucky looks down sheepishly into the colorful milk swirling through his bowl. "No."

“ What? Why not? “

“Because it hasn’t — oh I don't know. It just hasn’t felt right.”

He’d been debating on giving her a call many times, never actually going through with it. At first, it was for a fear of failure, rejection. Now though, Leah doesn’t cross his mind as much as before. His thoughts, he noticed recently, are occupied by another person. And it wouldn't be fair to Leah or himself to try and build something on shaky ground at best.

“ Dude, I’m educating you on romance and you are too afraid to call this girl? “

“ Educating me? You are forcing me to watch rom coms. “

“ Forcing you? “ (Y/N) gasps and dramatically slaps her hand to her chest right above where her heart is. “ Are you saying you’re not having fun? “

There’s a smirk on her face, tiny and barely there but he notices it anyway. He’s started noticing the small things. Like how her nose scrunches up when she smiles and how she twiddles with her fingers when she’s nervous.

“ If I didn’t have fun I wouldn’t be here. “ Bucky replies and bumps his leg against her knee. Truth be told, he’d be here anyway. Even if she’d make him watch the most boring movie in the entire world he’d stay right there with her. Sometimes the world doesn't seem so rough and ruthless when she’s there beside him. Sometimes he feels like he could genuinely be happy.

“ Good, “ (Y/N) responds and places a quick kiss on his cheek that very nearly gives him a heart attack. Soft touches are something she grants him every so often and while he is getting used to it, it’s still foreign. It’s something he enjoys quite a lot though.

“Anyway, soulmates finding their way back to each other despite all odds is such a rom-com stable. Like the kiss in the rain or the airport chase or the top-of-the-stairs-moment.”

“ The what ? “

(Y/N) scoffs at him as if she’s never been asked a more ridiculous question in her life.

“ The moment when the girl gets a makeover or she dresses up in some ballgown and her love interest waits at the bottom of the stairs for her and when he sees her he’s so enamored and enchanted by her and ideally there’s some cheesy 90s love song playing in the background. And she meets him at the bottom, walking in slow motion obviously, and they don’t kiss or anything but the looks they share are enough to let the audience know what they feel for one another.”

Her words are heavy with passion and longing and magic and for a second Bucky wishes, he could be the one to give her that moment.

“ But okay, grumpy. You go on not believing in soulmates. I’ll change your mind one day, trust me.”

He doesn’t doubt it for a second.

They sink back into their blissful calm as John Cusak and Kate Beckinsale reconnect on the ice rink in front of Rockefeller Center as an ocean of Christmas lights twinkles in the background.

“ I’ve never been ice skating there. Been living here for so many years now and that’s still something I’ve never done. “ (Y/N) pipes up, a longing swinging alone with her words. “ Have you? “

“ Mmmh. Used to take a lot of girls on dates there. “

“ Oh sorry, I forgot you were a big charmer back in the day. “

“ Saw the first-ever Christmas tree getting set up in 1933. '' he continues to say. Sometimes talking about the past makes him sad. It’s a time he will never be able to go back to. A man he will never be again.

But sometimes, like today, he’s able to recall little snippets of memories and remember how he felt in that exact moment. And those are worth all the pain that thinking about the future might bring.

“ That — is weird flex but actually really cool. “

Bucky doesn’t think of himself as cool. He’s a grumpy 106-year-old who is completely disillusioned with the world around him. If (Y/N) thinks so though, he’s not gonna try to change her mind.

She snuggles back into him, body leaning against the smooth vibranium arm. A part of him he never felt really belonged to himself. Something he had been given to kill, to defend, to fight. If something so dangerous can be a place of comfort to her, Maybe, he thinks, it’s not so bad after all. Maybe sometimes you just have to let go of the part and change your perspective of things.

For a while, they get lost in the movie, in the fictional love of two strangers. He remembers the romance novels his mothers used to read. The way she would get lost in them. Maybe to escape her own life for just a second and follow along with the stories and the people that seemed so much grander than her own existence as a housewife stuck in a life that seems too small to contain her in all her wonderful glory. His mother, Bucky always knew even at a young age, deserved more than she had been given. She was smart and funny and she loved her kids as much as a heart could love another. But her days were dull and her marriage was one of convenience more than anything. She had ideas, beautiful stories swirled around her head, and she’d tell them to him and his sister before she’d tuck them into bed. And yet that is where they stayed, in her mind and in her children's memories. She was never resentful though. She took things as they came and she made them beautiful.

He wonders sometimes, what would’ve come from her ideas if she had been given the chance to tell them to a bigger audience. She could’ve put those rom-coms to shame.

A knock on the front door startles (Y/N), making her get up from the couch and follow LAdy towards the entrance. There’s a definite lack of warmth where she used to be and Bucky feels himself missing her already.

“ It’s probably Robin, she left her favorite jacket here the other — mom? “

The air fills with a chaotic mix of several voices one speaking over the other while the charm on Lady’s collar underlines it all with a jingling sound like that of a small bell.

Before he can even think about how to react, (Y/N) steps back into the living room followed by two more people. A woman who looks like an older version of her and a man. They seem lost in conversation still, talking about their travel to NYC and the fact that the man, who Bucky assumes is (Y/N)’s father, refused to ask for directions.

That’s until their eyes fall on Bucky. The woman regards him with a gentle smile on her face, polite and warm as mothers usually are. The man though. There’s something in his eyes, in his demeanor, that changed once he set sight on Bucky and it doesn’t feel good. Bucky knows what it’s like to be recognized. People see him and then they see all the bodies left in his wake, all the blood on his hands, all the pain and the suffering and the —

“ Sergeant Barnes. “

They used to call him that in Wakanda, as a sign of respect, he believes. To make him realize that they do not see him as the thread he used to be but the man he once was. Other than that it’s been a long time since people referred to him as Sergeant Barnes. It’s a title he takes pride in, something he worked hard for. It also belongs to a man he isn’t anymore. Bucky isn’t sure he still earns it. Still owns it.

“ Uh — hello. “

“Dad, “ (Y/N) says and pushes past her parents to stand next to Bucky. Her hand rests on his arm as a sign of comfort and reassurance. He appreciates it very much. “ Mom. This is Bucky. “

“ I can’t believe it. “ her father exclaims, still not taking his eyes off of Bucky.

“ Dad. “

“ I can not believe it. I can’t believe you! “

There it is. Although Bucky has always been very aware that he wasn’t nearly worth (Y/N)’s time, having it thrown in his face hurts more than he likes to admit.

“ Dad … “

“ You know James Barnes, and you tell me nothing about it? (Y/N) I’ve — I’ve spent so much time researching this man revising all the information people before me have gathered and making sure his legacy and his place in Steve Rogers' life get acknowledged and now I’d have the chance to ask him personally and you — you keep it a secret from me? “

Wait … what ?

“ Bucky, “ (Y/N) says and looks up at him with her gorgeous eyes that never seem to fail at calming him down. “These are my parents and as you can tell, my dad’s a big fan of yours. “

The next few minutes are a chaos of handshakes and nice-to-meet-yous and hugs. Her mother hugs Bucky real tightly, the way mothers do when they know someone needs a hug. And she doesn’t flinch when she feels the metal arm. She just hugs him a little tighter.

“ Why are you guys here? “ (Y/N) asks as her father throws an arm around her shoulder

“ Well, you asked us to look after Lady while you’re gone. “ her mother replies as if it’s the obvious answer.

“ Yeah, but we don’t leave until Friday afternoon. It’s Thursday. “

“ That is truuuue. But dad and I thought we’d surprise you and take you out for a nice dinner since we won’t be spending Christmas together, we thought we could at least try to make up for it. “

(Y/N) shakes her head at her mother’s words. “ I told you guys, it’s not a big deal. You go enjoy your cruise. “

“ And we will but you’re our girl and we want to take you out for dinner. Give your old parents that much, will you” her father jokes and ruffles her hair as if she was just a little girl and maybe she is in that moment, wrapped in his arms.

“ I uh — Bucky and I had plans. “

“ What plans? “ her mother asks, eyebrows raised.

“ Watching movies. “

“ Oh, those aren’t plans. Go get dressed! “

“ And James will obviously come with us, “ her dad adds “ I am not done asking him questions. “

It’s not December yet but the restaurant is already decked out in Christmas lights and tastefully placed sparkly ornaments. The soft lull of Christmas carols being played on a piano flows through the room and Bucky is thankful to discover that while so much has changed, many of those songs have stayed the same. Maybe things aren’t all different right now. Maybe the fundamental things have stayed the same. Like the feeling of being with your family sitting by the tree, singing songs that have been passed down from your parents to you.

(Y/N) sits next to him, lips painted the exact same shade of red as her slouchy knit sweater. She looks so cozy and comfortable and soft and if he’s being really honest with himself, all he wants to do is hold her tight and get lost in her warmth. But this is good, as good as it can ever get, really. Sitting next to her, across from her parents who have been nothing but kind to him. They’re eating good food, drinking delicious drinks and her parents are sharing funny and slightly embarrassing stories about (Y/N). This is the first time he’s meeting anyone’s parents as the man he is now. And even back in the 40s things weren’t this calm and easy. If you went to meet a woman’s parents you better came prepared. This feels nice. Like he gets to be part of a family for just a teeny tiny moment.

“ So, how long have you guys been together? “ her mother asks around a fork of tiramisu. While Bucky only looks at her with wide eyes, (Y/N) almost chokes on her wine.

“ Mom, we’re — not. We’re friends. “

“ Oh,” her mother replies, looking unconvinced as her eyes move back and forth between (Y/N) and Bucky “ I guess I must’ve read that wrong. Shame, you would make adorable babies. “

“ Mom!”

Bucky’s sure his cheeks are the same color as her sweater and her lips and her fingernails. A beautiful bright red. Like a Santa’s hat.

“ I know, babe. You’re an independent woman who makes her own decisions and if you decide not to have babies that’s alright with us. As long as you are happy, so are we. Lady makes for a wonderful substitute grandchild. Just sayin’ if you were to have babies with Bucky they would turn out really cute. “

“ Okay, how about we stop talking about my imaginary potential future children, huh? You go tell me more about work, dad. How about that? “

As her dad starts talking about some history classes he teaches and the students, Bucky notices the change in (Y/N)’s demeanor. Her laid-back ease is gone. She keeps fidgeting with her hair and the rings on her hand. Without really thinking about it, like his body is working on autopilot, Bucky reaches out and grabs her hand under the table. It’s still weird, touching soft skin with his metal hand without the intention of inflicting pain. It’s nice though. It’s wonderful.

She doesn’t let go for a long time.

Restrooms in restaurants are places where time is slightly altered. You’re sheltered from the noises of the main room but they’re still faintly audible through the door. The clinking of glasses and cutlery, the laughter, and the voices as they flow together like waves in an ocean.

It feels like you get a break from the real world for just a moment. To catch yourself. To take a breath. To look at yourself in the mirror and decide your next steps as the music sounds from the overhead speakers in a duller version as if someone wrapped the lyrics in thick cotton padding.

(Y/N) washes her hands while looking at her reflection. Today’s a good day. It’s not going the way she has expected it but it’s a good day nonetheless. Bucky and her parents get along like a house on fire. It’s a nice feeling but it also makes her so acutely aware of all the what-ifs floating around her head and her heart. Would it feel like this if she and Bucky were more than friends? Would it feel this — right?

Before her mind can come up with an answer to her own question, the door to the restrooms swings open letting in a sliver of the noise outside. Her mother steps in and looks at her with that signature mom smile. Like she knows you better than you know yourself. And maybe that isn’t entirely wrong.

“ Your dad and I are going to take a cab to the hotel. We’ll come over to yours tomorrow before you leave. Is that okay? Bucky said he’d walk you home.”

Of course, he’d say that. He’s a gentleman. He’s Bucky.

“ Sure that’s fine. I’m glad you guys came a day early. I missed you. “

“ We missed you too, baby,” she responds and pulls (Y/N) into a hug.

“ Now tell me something,” she says and takes (Y/N)’s face in between her hands. “ You and Bucky. There’s something there. “

(Y/N) shakes free from her mother's touch and faces the mirror, leaning both hands against the marble sink. “ Mom, can you leave it. “

“ I see the way you guys look at each other. I — you haven’t been this happy in so long. He makes you happy. “

As she lifts her head and looks into her own eyes in the mirror, (Y/N) feels a flood of emotions wash over her. Emotions she’s tried so hard to suppress and others she wasn’t even aware were there in the first place. And it’s all comes crashing down pulling her under and spitting her back out.

“ So what if he makes me happy. We’re not gonna happen. I can not lose a friend and he can’t either. It would kill us both. “

“ Oh honey, “ she goes to pull (Y/N) into another hug but she just shakes her head in response.

“ No. No, mom. It’s okay. I’m okay with it being the way it is. “

“ Are you sure? “

Is she? (Y/N) looks back at herself. You think you know yourself and what you want and how you feel and then someone asks you, truthfully asks you if you’re sure. And you can only stare and wonder. Well, are you?

And sometimes it’s way easier to lie, to both the other person and yourself, than to really face your fears and your feelings and everything you do or don’t understand about yourself.

“ Yeah. I am sure. “

It’s true. New York City never seems to fully go to sleep. There’s always a light on somewhere, guiding you through the dark, guiding you home.

It doesn’t fully go to sleep but it slows down. The air gets heavier, the noise gets quieter.

(Y/N) and Bucky slowly make their way through the familiar streets of their neighborhood as the city lights and the stars fight over who gets to shine more brightly upon them.

It’s a chilly evening, winter is truly just around the corner, and the air feels pregnant with the promise of snow and yet (Y/N) feels a warmth course through her that is unlike any other. A warmth that can only be brought on by being with your loved ones.

“ It’s a lovely night,” she says as her heels create a clip-clap sound against the pavement.

Bucky has his hands stuffed deep into the pockets of his jacket and his ever-present scowl decorates his face and yet, even Bucky can’t deny that it is a lovely night. One with so much potential. For — for lovers.

“ It really is.”

“ If life was a movie, “ (Y/N) says “ this would be when we realized that we're in love"

Bucky only raises his eyebrow at her, pushing her to elaborate. And maybe it’s a bit selfish. Maybe he just wants to hear her entertain the thought of them two as something more for just a little bit longer. Even if it’s just pretend.

“ We’d get a montage of some quirky dates that we didn’t realize were dates. Then the camera would pan down on us tonight, walking underneath the stars, the city lights glowing around us. There’d be some piano music in the background to set the mood. We’d have a deep talk about our fears or messed up childhoods or the meaning of life. And then you’d make me laugh and I’d accidentally hold your hand. You’d drop me off at my door, think about kissing my lips but then end up kissing my forehead. Once you leave I’d lean against my door, sink down to my floor, and grin like a fool because that’s the moment I realize I am in love with you and the audience would sigh in relief because they knew all along. “

“ That sounds nice,” Bucky replies, eyes staring into the distance as he tries to picture it all, safe it as a mental snapshot to go back to in quiet moments.

“ Yeah, well what a shame life is not a movie and we’re not in love. What a waste of a lovely night. “

“ Guess it’s perfect for a couple, huh? “ Bucky has to agree with her.

“ Mmmh. Or at least someone not in heels, “ (Y/N) jokes looking down at her shoes.

“ You want me to find a couple? Gift our night to them ? “ Bucky asks as they continue their journey down the Brooklyn streets.

“ Absolutely not, sir! “ (Y/N) responds and links her arm with his as she pulls him along. “ I like our night. I want to keep it for ourselves. “

And so they continue their walk home. Words that want to be said, that need to be said, hang heavy in the air, and yet they both decide to stay quiet and just enjoy the silence and comfort of their lovely little night.

The door feels like mocking her as it comes into view, cutting their moment short, putting an end to this blissful night.

She doesn’t want it to end. Doesn’t want to go inside and quite literally close the door to all the possibilities this night seems to hold out to her. If she was just brave enough to reach out and grab them.

(Y/N) unlock the door and turns back around to face Bucky. Something seems to hang in the air right between them and that feeling only gets stronger as their eyes lock. For a moment all there is, is silence and an abundance of unspoken words. And a fear that comes with speaking them. Of messing something up. Of being vulnerable.

Bucky smiles at her then. She loves his smile. It’s so rare but it’s so beautiful to look at. It gives you the feeling of having done something right.

“ Thanks for today, “ he says as if there’s anything to thank her for.

“ For what? “

“ Letting me be a part of your family. Thought maybe you didn’t want your parents to know about me. Thanks for — not being ashamed of me or anything. “

“ Oh Bucky, “ she says and grabs his hand, “ You are my friend and I love you. I’d never be ashamed of you. If anything I’m a little embarrassed by the way my dad kept pestering you with questions. Uh — why are you looking at me like that. “

“ You love me? “ his voice comes out but a mere whisper and his eyes are wide in shock.

“ Yes. You’re my friend, I love you. Bucky when — when was the last time someone told you they love you? “ (Y/N) asks as her hand softly strokes the side of his face.

“ 1942 “

“ Well, guess I’ll have to keep reminding you then, make up for lost time. I love you, Bucky Barnes. “

She can’t even blink before she’s wrapped up in his arms. Despite what one would think, Bucky is always warm. Even the vibranium arm. Everything radiates warmth and comfort. She could stay here forever.

Slowly he pulls away, looks deep into her eyes, lowers his head, and places his lips against her forehead. “ I love you too. “

He smiles at her once more then leaves. And while she won't admit it to anyone, ever, (Y/N) goes inside, leans against her door, sinks to the floor, and doesn't even try to suppress the foolish smile spreading on her lips.

Robin’s laughter fills the halls of the beautiful Inn where just tomorrow she’ll say I do.

“ This was your doing! You scheming little shit.” (Y/N) grumbles from the corner of her mouth as she slides up to Robin.

“ It wasn’t, “ the red-haired girl laughs “ but I wish it was. It’s hilarious.“

Redstone Lodge is a beautiful Inn located in upstate New York. It looks out onto a lake and is surrounded by lots and lots of Christmas trees all year round. It’s made of bricks and big wooden panels. Very rustic and yet cozy and elegant. In the yard, there’s a huge tent with a wooden floor and a see-through roof. That’s where the reception will be held tomorrow.

Redstone Lodge has 35 rooms all of which have been distributed to the various guests. They’re beautiful rooms with nice decor and comfortable beds. Well — a bed. One. Singular.

“ This is like some fanfiction trope, Robin. There is only one bed? “

“ Look," Robin says and pulls (Y/N) closer “ if you want to switch, find someone to switch with. I’m sure someone is willing to. But I’m just saying that if you two are friends, shouldn’t you be able to sleep in a bed together and not make it weird? “

She has a point and she knows it and she also knows that (Y/N) knows it.

Huffing a breath of annoyance (Y/N) grumbles an “okay fine” before letting Robin be taken hostage by yet another overly excited aunt and returns to Bucky’s side as he stands on the front steps looking out into the vast area. It really is a beautiful place to get married.

“ Hey so uh — bad news is that this is the only room they have so we’ll have to share a bed. Good news is they got some movies to take up to the room and I found some really dope rom-coms. “

“It's okay, don't worry. I promise I won't hog the blanket,” Bucky says and nods his head into the direction of the lake “ wanna take a walk? “

“ Sure. Yeah, why not. “

In all honesty (Y/N) isn’t the biggest fan of walking around the woods with no particular destination in mind and yet she can’t help but feel a sense of happiness fill her as she links her arm with Bucky’s once again.

She realized a while ago that she tends to gravitate towards his left side. It isn’t a conscious decision but maybe it’s a good one nonetheless.

Maybe it’ll show him that every part of him is worth loving, even the ones he doesn’t love himself.

“ When was the last time you did something crazy? “

He doesn’t like the way those words sound tumbling from her lips. He does, however, like very much how her eyes sparkle in the light of the setting sun. Their walk had turned into a bit of a hike and by the time they’ve finally made it back to the lake, the sun is about to set. Everyone seems to have retreated back into the lodge, maybe to sit by the big cozy fireplace or up to their room with their several beds. More than one. plural.

Bucky doesn’t want to let go of their time together though. Not yet. Just a little bit longer. And if that means agreeing to one of her weird ideas, so be it.

"Uh well, I fought aliens a few months ago."

"Huh … well see that's not an answer I was prepared for I mean more like, when did you last do something stupid but fun?"

“Like dancing in the middle of a street or having a cake fight in a parking lot?”

“Yeah …. like that.”

She looks at him again with that mischief and that softness. Like a mix of all things that make you feel alive shine back at him from her eyes.

“Wanna go swimming?” (Y/N) asks and smirks at him.

“Now? It’s freezing.”

“ I know,” she replies and shrugs her shoulders “ and I know it’s silly and dumb and we’ll probably get sick but I kinda wanna do it anyway. Wait … can you get sick?”

“Huh?”

“Because of the serum.”

“You know, they didn’t exactly give me a manual when they injected it so — guess we’ll have to find out.”

“So you’re in?”

Bucky only nods his head in agreement. She doesn’t need to know that he’d agree to anything she suggests. Any little thing.

The woods around them are dark and thick and where they probably should be scary they are comforting now. They’re a shelter from the eyes of onlookers. A safe roof and walls to keep their little bubble safe and hold their moment tight and safe.

“Holy shit, it’s freezing!” (Y/N) hisses through clenched teeth as the water reaches up to her shoulders, the straps of her yellow bra the only colors shining through the dark night.

Don’t think about it. He has to tell himself. Don’t think about the fact that she’s only in her underwear. Don’t think about her soft skin and her smile and what her body feels like against yours. Don’t!

He doesn’t have to scold himself for too long before a cold splash of water hits him right in the face.

“Oh, you made a mistake” Bucky calls out to a laughing (Y/N) who tries her best to tread water and get as far away from him as possible but fails to do so, being wrapped up in his arms only seconds later.

For the next few minutes, they splash around like children at the neighborhood pool.

The cold of the night and the lake rattle their bones but neither of them seems to care as a familiar warmth wraps itself around their hearts.

It’s really fascinating how the little moments can become so meaningful. How one person can mean so much so quickly. How drastically your life can change just because of one single person and their kindness and their love.

“Oh-oh!” (Y/N) exclaims excitedly and lays little enthusiastic slaps on Bucky’s shoulder “let’s do the dirty dancing lift. You can lift me, right?”

“I have a vibranium arm…”

“Right. Yeah. Right.”

Bucky places his hands on her waist and pulls her a little closer, trying to ignore the incessant thumping of his heart that feels like it wants to break out of his chest. “Okay on 3.”

“One”

Her eyes look deep into his as if trying to search for something in them. Secrets. Hidden feelings. The truth.

“Two”

And when she smiles, almost shy, it seems for a second that she’s found whatever she’s been looking for. He hopes she likes the secret she uncovers. He hopes it doesn’t scare her off from loving him.

“Three”

In a swift motion, he lifts her up above his head, holding her strong and steady as drops of water, cold as ice, rain down on him while (Y/N) laughs and stretches out her arms.

“We did it! I’m flying, Jack!”

“What?”

“Nevermind.” She retorts and lets out another laugh. Yeah, maybe he’s freezing his ass off but to hear her laugh like that, makes it all worth it.

He doesn’t let her fall over like they do in the movie, instead, he grips her waist tighter, slowly and gently lowers her back into the water. And when she’s back right in front of him, chest against his, he should be letting go of her, but he doesn’t.

While his head keeps screaming at him to just let go, his heart tells him otherwise, makes him stay right there.

(Y/N)’s arms move across his chest and gently wrap themselves around his neck before her fingers start to delicately play with his hair.

He wonders if any person has ever felt the way he does in that moment. He wonders if maybe a poet or a writer or a musician has and if maybe they wrote a poem or a book or a song about it. Maybe that would help him understand. Maybe he could read it or listen to it and keep this moment captured in that piece of art forever. Because he fears that no memory can ever do justice to the way he feels when she moves closer.

When her hand cups his face when her nose nuzzles against his so gently as if she’s afraid he’ll pull away any second.

It’s just them and their wildly beating hearts and the woods providing them shelter and the water setting the scene and the stars shining down upon them.

It’s just them — until it isn’t.

“(Y/N), Bucky? You guys out there?” Robin's voice calls out into the night as her silhouette appears against the light coming from the porch of the Inn.

“Yes, it’s us. We’ll be right in.” (Y/N) calls back, having moved away slightly. The spell is broken and Bucky lifts his hand off of her, immediately missing the contact.

“It’s freezing, we should probably go inside.” She says and grants him a smile, though it doesn’t entirely reach her eyes and he can faintly see her shivering.

“Yeah let’s go. Get you warmed up.”

They don’t talk about their moment as they head inside and get swallowed by the group of people all hyped up with excitement for the coming day.

Bucky is sure though that as long as there are stars in the sky, he will not forget this moment however fleeting and insignificant it might seem.

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[ink-fireplace-coffee]

Short Story: Kiss me, for I am dying.

A/N: this story was crafted yesterday at midnight so I can't assure the quality of it at all. It is inspired in a theatre/legend we have here in Spain called Los Amantes de Teruel, or The Teruel Lovers in english. It's like the Spanish less known version of Romeo and Juliet.

Word count: 1901.

TW: mentions of death.

I don't have a general taglist or anything on the sort, but @nathandoesntknow asked me to tag them, so here you go! enjoy my midnight weird af inspiration I guess.

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Five months ago, Jaime would've just left if he saw that on the rooftop of the campus was already someone.

Five months ago, if he had seen that stranger sitting there- feet dangling in the air and looking at the sunset- was Isa, he would’ve turned on his heels and left before she could even so much but noticed him.

Or maybe he would’ve “asked” (more like demanded) her to go somewhere else.

Jaime and Isa hated each other. Pure and simple.

Ever since the first day of university, when Isa had given him a “you are annoying” look after Jaime had accidentally hitted her backpack, launching all her stuff through the hall.

No matter how many times he had tried to convince her that it hadn’t been on purpose, she had said that it was his fault over and over again.

If that wasn’t enough, they had not only been forced to sit next to each other for their whole third year (since it was extremely rude to tame someone else’s seat after the first week of classes) but they also were constantly competing on the top of the class.

If Isa had a 95% on the midterm, Jaime had a 98%.

If Jaime had scored a 9,9 out of ten in that essay, Isa had gotten the full mark.

Everyone saw it as a nice academic competition, the kind that made you better every day and it was healthy. Sometimes it could also be mistaken for a nice banter, or even a bit of university drama.

Isa and Jaime saw it as a live or die battle where only one of them could succeed.

Spanish had been the only subject Jaime had ever been really good at, for as long as he could remember. His zeroes in maths had always mattered less next to his tens in Spanish.

When he had told his father that his dream was to become a spanish teacher, the old man had simply nodded and said “I was not expecting less”. And so, one entrance exam to Salamanca’s university later, Jaime knew he was starting to walk the path of his future.

But while his passions were words formation, syntax and how the language had developed into today’s form; Isa had decided to study the career for a whole different reason.

It was clear that she felt completely herself when discussing novels and authors. Her essays on every single topic were excellent quality (even Jaime had to admit it) and they always provided a new, fresh way of thinking.

And maybe that's why some months ago, whatever they had agreed on had taken place.

Now, when the morning classes had already finished, Isa was already on the rooftop, a book in hand and a notebook resting on her legs.

“You are late. Again.” She remarked when she saw Jaime’s blond hair.

“Some of us have life, Isabel.” he answered in the same cold tone and took a seat in front of her.

“Being the teacher’s pet is not having a life.” They both held each other's gazes for a while, until instead of intimidating, they were staring.

The wind whooshed, making the students snap back.

Jaime cleared his throat and Isa focused on her book .“What are we revising today?” asked him.

She tapped the pages of her notebook with a pen. “Los Amantes de Teruel. Spanish version of Romeo and Juliet, I believe. Since you haven't finished it, even though it was due yesterday.” Isa added, a sassy remark included in her voice.

Jaime rolled his eyes.

Lovers of Teruel.

It is true that he had been stuck for three months in a 170 pages novel. But there were far more interesting things to do than read how two fools felt in love only to die at the end.

“I would've finished it if I hand’t been busy correcting someone’s homework.'' He remarked, as he searched for his own copy of the book inside his backpack.

Isa just scoffed, and gave him another “you are annoying” look. Jaime had to make an effort not to smile.

“You know? I wonder if those death stares are unically for me, like a personalized stare.”

“Oh, right, because you are so important in my life that I decided to give you an specific look whenever you say or do something stupid.”

“I mean… You asked me for help that day, so I guess I must be somewhat important, dear Isa.”

“I asked you for help?” she repeated, astonished “You were roaming this rooftop for weeks until I got fed up with how creepy it looked and told you to help me with that assignment, which, for the record, was perfect.”

That was true. Her assignment had been flawless, but Jaime would rather die than to admit that out loud.

“Are you planning on finishing this book with me or do you want to keep talking?” He grinned then “I’m sure there are a ton of other things you could use your mouth for, but I’d like to be prepared for my exam next week.”

Her slight blush felt like a personal win. Until she stroke back, of course.

“One: that is extremely gross, and I don’t want to know about the weird fantasies you have with my mouth. And two: it’s your turn ‘Diego’, so read.”

Since there was no point in reading plays in silence and to themselves, at the beginning of the book (three months ago), Jaime and Isa had divided the roles, taking the two main characters with them: he as Diego and her as Isabel.

“You were practically born for this role” had joked Jaime and Isa wondered how far from the ground they were… and how hard she would have to shove him.

They read some scenes out loud, stopping to make some points on the narrative, paraphrase or make a summary of what they got so far. If it was true that individually they worked really well, as a team it was almost magical.

“Kiss me, for I am dying” said Jaime/Diego for the second time. Isabel had just rejected his lover, since she had already married and didn’t wish to deceive her now husband.

“And then Diego dies because he can’t bear the pain that causes him not being able to love Isabel.” the girl closed her book, and got up, stretching “It’s late, we should go before the campus closes.”

Jaime nodded and tagged alone, but stayed quiet the whole time until they were about to leave the university.

Then, just before partying ways, the question escaped his lips “Would you kiss me if my life depended on it.?”

Both of them looked equally surprised. When he didn’t add anything else, Isa understood he was waiting for an answer.

Well, what do you answer when someone asks that without a warning?

If there’s one thing Isa had clear was that Jaime and her weren’t friends. They weren’t even study buddies! They were just two students of the same class who happened to help each other out every now and then…

And for what?

“Let’s be glad that it doesn't.” she finally said, and turned away, wanting to run as quickly as her legs could carry her.

Would you kiss me if my life depended on it?. Two college students were replaying the same question over and over in their heads. Tossing and turning, unable to sleep.

Isa didn’t have the guts to go back to the rooftop in the next few weeks. Since Jaime had handed in his essay on the novel, she had assumed he had finished it on his own.

That was good, right?

Now, both of them averted their eyes, and tried really hard not to cross paths.

What had been Jaime thinking when he asked that?! Oh right, he had been not thinking at all!

Still, not knowing the answer to the damn question was getting on his nerves. Not that he desperately wanted Isa to kiss him, that could never happen but…

Hypothetically he wanted to know.

Two weeks before finals, they both bumped into each other at the rooftop. Seeing Jaime’s figure -his back to her and his face to the orange sun-, made Isa stop on her tracks.

The door slammed closed and the guy turned around.

Awkwardness was all over the place.

“The library is super crowded and-” started to explain her. He nodded.

“I know, that’s why I’m here.”

A few minutes of silence and then:

“You finished the play.” commented Isa.

“Yeah, I did” Jaime rubbed his neck, nervous “Thanks for sharing your notes, by the way. They were really helpful.”

“Oh, um, no problem.”

“And, about that question…”

“It 's okay! You don’t have to explain anything.”

“No, really, I don’t know how it happened.”

“It’s fine, there’s no need to apologize, really.”

More silence in between them.

“I can go if you want me to.” offered then Jaime. She lifted up her gaze at him.

“The rooftop is big enough for the two of us, and I know you don't like studying at the library.”

Isa had been thinking about how much she noticed about Jaime without actually wanting to: his likes and dislikes, how he frowned slightly when there was a concept he was not following, his happy smiles whenever there was something he was pleased about…

He was grinning like that now.

“Earth calling Isa, are you there?” She blinked a few times.

“Yeah, totally. Here. Present.”

Jaime decided it was now or never.

He lifted up his hand, the one holding the book and showed it to her. "We never finished reading."

"You handed in your essay already. Why would we finish reading it?"

Clearly none of this was working. The guy slided his backpack on his shoulder. "I should go, Alejandro needs me for this book analysis-" he rambled.

"Go" Isa nodded and then smiled. "Teacher 's pet."

He just laughed awkwardly and headed out.

Isa had hated every single second of that conversation. Even if it's true they never had a friendly relationship, they had somewhat grown closer along the few months they had tutored each other.

What did Jaime really mean to her? He was insufferable sometimes, that's true. Arrogant in class and a stupid know-it-all…

But he was also brilliant. And he was kinder than he wanted to show: he had given her his jacket to go home when it was raining once; and even shared his notes with her when she had been sick.

The girl ran downstairs.

Jaime was about to go inside the teacher's office when she finally got to him. In a final effort after her sprint, she tried grabbing his arm.

The guy turned around, really surprised.

"Isa, what-"

"Ask me again." she demanded.

"What?"

"Ask. Me. Again" Isa pleaded out of breath. Her courage would flee anytime soon and then-

"Bésame, que me muero." he whispered.

Kiss me, for I'm dying.

Their lips touched.

"Do you like this ending better?" she asked after the kiss, a sly smile already forming.

He tipped his head back and laughed "Much better."

In Spain whenever someone mentions Lovers of Teruel, we have a saying that sort of finishes the sentence: stupid her and stupid him. Since they both die foolishly.

Luckily, we can assure that the sentence does not apply to Jaime nor Isa.

[derpcakes]

Oh, cool! Any advice for writing a novel? I've got an idea in mind, but not entirely sure where to start lmao. I use Scrivener too

Good question! I think the novel writing process is pretty different for everyone (and obviously there are whole books and classes you can take on this stuff) but here are some things I've found really helpful:

Making peace with redrafting, reworking, and letting your story evolve has been a skill (mindset?) that I've had to grow, and it's been a huge help. The version of Trickster Book I have now is SUPER different to what I originally planned it as, and the text itself has gone through a lot of revisions and edits. I have "if it's not perfect the first try, I don't wanna do it at all" disease, so there was (and still is tbh, and maybe always will be) a fair bit of willpower involved when it comes to making messy drafts. It's a craft, so it's about discipline.

But let yourself make messy drafts! Once you have that writing THERE, you can polish it, move it around, IMPROVE it. I thought doing revisions based on my supervisor's feedback would feel like a chore, but it was actually really fun, especially because I got the sense that this story was really coming together into something much stronger. So, don't be afraid to make something messy and dumb on the first try (or two or three or four tries) and remember that revising is part of the writing process: it's enhancing, not undoing, your previous work.

When it comes to longform work, it's also super helpful to have a plan. Whether you do detailed outlines or broader dot points, knowing where you're going is crucial to really getting stuff done. This applies to all writing, original or otherwise - the strongest parts of coffeefic are from about Wedding Cheers onwards, where I started properly doing plot breakdowns and detailed notes about what needed to happen, where the characters needed to end up, and what the themes were going to be. Leave room for writing to surprise you, of course, because sometimes you come up with a really fun idea in the middle of a sentence! You can also always change things around and - again - fix it up in redrafts. But having a structure really helps, not just with my own motivation but with more practical stuff like knowing what I need to foreshadow for, or what relationships I need to set up, or what secrets the characters are all keeping from each other.

That's just a couple of practical things, and a couple of areas where I feel like I've grown as a writer over the past couple years. And of course, it's all about growth! It's a constant practicing process and you're always getting better. Keep that in mind, too, alongside allowing yourself to make messy drafts.

Also, probably a no-brainer but: read books! Read in the genre you want to write, but also just read widely, because you never know where inspiration will come from and it's useful to have a deep well of varied resources.

[reachexceedinggrasp]

Would love to hear about your beefs with Lucas because I have beefs with Lucas

(Sorry it took me three thousand years to answer this, anon.)

They mainly fall under a few headings, with the third being the most serious and the thing that I am genuinely irl furious about at least biannually (and feeling unable to adequately sum up The Problem with it after yelling about it so often is a huge part of why this post has been in my drafts for such a long time):

1. His self-mythologising and the subsequent uncritical repetition of his bullshit in the fandom. Obvious lies like that he had some master plan for 10 films when it’s clear he did not have anything like a plot outline at any point. We all know the thing was written at the seat of various people’s pants, it’s blatantly self-evident that’s the case. There’s also plenty of public record about how the OT was written. Even dumber, more obvious lies, like that Anakin was ‘always the protagonist’ and the entire 6 films were his story from the beginning. This is preposterous and every time someone brings it up (usually with palpable smugness) as fanboys ‘not understanding star wars’ because they don't get that ‘the OT is not Luke's story’... Yeah, I just... I cannot.

Vader wasn’t Anakin Skywalker until ESB, it’s a retcon. It’s a brilliant retcon and it works perfectly, it elevated SW into something timeless and special it otherwise would not have been, but you can tell it wasn’t the original plan and there’s proof it wasn’t the original plan. Let’s not pretend. And Luke is the protagonist. No amount of waffling about such esoteric flights of theory as ‘ring structure’ is going to get away from the rigidly orthodox narrative and the indisputable fact that it is Luke’s hero’s journey. Vader’s redemption isn’t about his character development (he has almost none) and has no basis in any kind of convincing psychological reality for his character, but it doesn’t need to be because it’s part of Luke’s arc, because Vader is entirely a foil in Luke’s story. It’s a coming-of-age myth about confronting and growing beyond the father.

All attempts to de-centre Luke in RotJ just break the OT’s narrative logic. It’s a character-driven story and the character driving is Luke. Trying to read it as Anakin’s victory, the moral culmination of his choices rather than Luke’s and putting all the agency into Anakin’s hands just destroys the trilogy’s coherence and ignores most of its content in favour of appropriating a handful of scenes into an arc existing only in the prequels. The dilemma of RotJ is how Luke will define ethical adulthood after learning and growing through two previous films worth of challenge, education, failure, and triumph; it’s his choice to love his father and throw down his sword which answers the question the entire story has been asking. Vader’s redemption and the restoration of the galaxy are the consequences of that choice which tell us what kind of world we’re in, but the major dramatic conflict was resolved by Luke’s decision not the response to it.

And, just all over, the idea of Lucas as an infallible auteur is inaccurate and annoying to me. Obviously he’s a tremendous creative force and we wouldn’t have sw without him, but he didn’t create it alone or out of whole cloth. The OT was a very collaborative effort and that’s why it’s what it is and the prequels are what they are. Speaking of which.

2. The hubris of the prequels in general and all the damage their many terrible, protected-from-editors choices do to the symbolic fabric of the sw universe. Midicholrians, Yoda fighting with a lightsabre, Obi-wan as Anakin's surrogate father instead of his peer, incoherent and unmotivated character arcs, the laundry list of serious and meaningful continuity errors, the bad storytelling, the bad direction, the bad characterisation, the shallowness of the parallels which undermine the OT’s imagery, the very clumsy and contradictory way the A/P romance was handled, the weird attitude to romance in general, it goeth on. I don’t want to re-litigate the entire PT here and I’m not going to, but they are both bad as films and bad as prequels. The main idea of them, to add Anakin’s pov and create an actual arc for him as well as to flesh out the themes of compassion and redemption, was totally appropriate. The concept works as a narrative unit, there are lots of powerful thematic elements they introduce, they have a lot of cool building blocks, it’s only in execution and detail that they do a bunch of irreparable harm.

But the constant refrain that only ageing fanboys don’t like them and they only don’t like them because of their themes or because they humanise Anakin... can we not. The shoddy film making in the prequels is an objective fact. If you want to overlook the bad parts for the good or prioritise ideas over technique, that’s fine, but don’t sit here and tell me they’re masterworks of cinema there can be no valid reason to criticise. I was the exact right age for them when I saw them, I am fully on board with the fairy tale nature of sw, I am fully on board with humanising Anakin- the prequels just have a lot of very big problems with a) their scripts and b) their direction, especially of dialogue scenes. If Lucas had acknowledged his limitations like he did back in the day instead of believing his own press, he could have again had the help he obviously needed instead of embarrassing himself.

3. Killing and suppressing the original original trilogy. I consider the fact that the actual original films are not currently available in any form, have never been available in an archival format, and have not been presented in acceptable quality since the VHS release a very troubling case study in the problems of corporate-owned art. LF seizing prints of the films whenever they are shown, destroying the in-camera negatives to make the special editions with no plans to restore them, and doing all in the company’s considerable power to suppress the original versions is something I consider an act of cultural vandalism. The OT defined a whole generation of Hollywood. It had a global impact on popular entertainment. ANH is considered so historically significant it was one of the first films added to the US Library of Congress (Lucas refused to provide even them with a print of the theatrical release, so they made their own viewable scan from the 70s copyright submission).

The fact that the films which made that impact cannot be legally accessed by the public is offensive to me. The fact that Lucas has seen fit to dub over or composite out entire performances (deleting certain actors from the films), to dramatically alter the composition of shots chosen by the original directors, to radically change the entire stylistic tone by completely reinventing the films’ colour timing in attempt to make them match the plasticy palate of the prequels, to shoot new scenes for movies he DID NOT DIRECT, add entire sequences or re-edit existing sequences to the point of being unrecognisable etc. etc. is NOT OKAY WITH ME when he insists that his versions be the ONLY ones available.

I’m okay with the Special Editions existing, though I think they’re mostly... not good... but I’m not okay with them replacing the original films. And all people can say is ‘well, they’re his movies’.

Lucas may have clear legal ownership in the capitalistic sense, but in no way does he have clear artistic ownership. Forget the fans, I’m not one of those people who argue the fans are owed something: A film is always a collaborative exercise and almost never can it be said that the end product is the ultimate responsibility and possession of one person. Even the auteur directors aren't the sole creative vision, even a triple threat like Orson Welles still had cinematographers and production designers, etc. Hundreds of artists work on films. Neither a writer nor a director (nor one person who is both) is The Artist behind a film the way a novelist is The Artist behind a novel. And Lucas did NOT write the screenplays for or direct ESB or RotJ. So in what sense does he have a moral right to alter those films from what the people primarily involved in making them deemed the final product? In what sense would he have the right to make a years-later revision the ONLY version even if he WERE the director?

Then you get into the issue of the immeasurable cultural impact those films had in their original form and the imperative to preserve something that is defining to the history of film and the state of the zeitgeist. I don't think there is any ‘fan entitlement’ involved in saying the originals belonged to the world after being part of its consciousness for decades and it is doing violence to the artistic record to try to erase the films which actually occupied that space. It's exactly like trying to replace every copy of It's a Wonderful Life with a colourised version (well, it's worse but still), and that was something Lucas himself railed against. It’s like if Michaelangelo were miraculously resuscitated and he decided to repaint the Sistine Ceiling to add a gunfight and change his style to something contemporary.

I get genuinely very upset at the cold reality that generations of people are watching sw for the first time and it’s the fucking SE-except-worse they’re seeing. And as fewer people keep physical media and the US corporate oligarchy continues to perform censorship and rewrite history on its streaming services unchecked by any kind of public welfare concerns, you’ll see more and more ‘real Mandela effect’ type shit where the cultural record has suddenly ‘always’ been in line with whatever they want it to be just now. And US media continues to infect us all with its insidious ubiquity. I think misrepresenting and censoring the past is an objectively bad thing and we can’t learn from things we pretend never happened, but apparently not many people are worried about handing the keys to our collective experience to Disney and Amazon.

4. The ‘Jedi don’t marry’ thing and how he wanted this to continue with Luke post-RotJ, so it’s obviously not meant to be part of what was wrong with the order in the prequels. I find this... incoherent on a storytelling level. The moral of the anidala story then indeed becomes just plain ‘romantic love is bad and will make you crazy’, rather than the charitable reading of the prequels which I ascribe to, which is that the problem isn’t Anakin’s love for Padmé, it’s that he ceased to love her and began to covet her. And I can’t help but feel this attitude is maybe an expression of GL’s issues with women following his divorce. I don’t remember if there’s evidence to contradict that take, since it’s been some time since I read about this but yeah. ANH absolutely does sow seeds for possible Luke/Leia development and GL was still married while working on that film. Subsequently he was dead set against Luke ever having a relationship and decided Jedi could not marry. Coincidence?

There’s a lot of blinking red ‘issues with women’ warning signs all over Lucas’s work, but the prequels are really... egregious.

[kentonwrites]

Hiemal Update #2

So, I’ve been working on this draft for exactly 3 weeks (2 weeks actually since I was at the beach in between) and my current word count is 20,712. I’m like shearing through it at the speed of light. 

Don’t let that fool you though, there have been some major obstacles along the way. Several times I wasn’t happy with the draft and I would abandon it for a day, just to come back the next. It’s been a productive writing sprint, but not exactly a smooth one. 

In previous renditions of this book, there were 3 parts. I’ve gotten rid of the part system for this draft, but where I’m at now is essentially the end of part 1. Since I’m going to be extremely busy over the next few months, I wanted to finish at this natural stopping point so I can go back and leisurely edit what I’ve written instead of worrying about drafting part 2 just yet (I might get to that during NaNoWriMo!). A few issues I’ve noticed need addressed during my editing phase are:

1. Like always, it’s severely underwritten, scenes are thin, etc. I’m expecting to add at least another 5k to part 1. I know it’s probably going to end up being a shorter novel (70-75k?) but right now I feel like the chapter arcs are too rushed. 

2. There’s one chapter in particular (a flashback) that I am not happy with whatsoever, and I need to make the decision to either cut it and revise the chapters in the present, or just improve the chapter/its place in the narrative. 

3. Cleaning up misc. awkward phrasing/line edit because my first drafts read convoluted as hell.

4. I’m still a little shaky on the protagonist, Torr. I’m pantsing/discovery writing a good bit of this draft, and because of that the personalities of the characters now are sometimes unaligned with how they were in previous drafts. I don’t exactly know if this is a bad thing yet--it could just be because I see how different they are and automatically assume it is. I think Torr is more active now as well as intensely cerebral, and a more compelling protagonist. In my old version a big problem was Torr just existing and reacting to bad things that happened to her. In this version she gets to go out and experience things/make decisions. She feels much more mature, I think. I’m going to keep an eye on her.

Overall I’m content with how it’s gone thus far. I think once I’ve edited part 1 it might end up being one of the best things I’ve ever written, and since I haven’t been involved in writing for such a long time that feels great. It feels so new and different and experimental. 

Excerpts!

From chapter 14, “Smokee the Owlet”

I hadn’t planned to write this at all, it just came out randomly and I love it. It shows spiritually-conflicted Torr at her most unhinged. Content warning for self-harm/cutting.

Over the coming weeks I habitually trespassed the chapel. I returned several commentaries I’d finished, I prostrated before the altar, I replayed the scenario over and over again, modifying my actions until I was the heroine. I prayed to no avail. I prayed aloud to no avail. I held the chalice high above my head and asked God to shatter it at my whim, spritz my hair with glassdust. I paced the aisle reading Wisdom. I paced the chancel reading Van’s textbook. I pried a shard of tinted glass from an alcove and dragged its edge up my ulna and dripped the silvery blood on the podium, like it would rejuvenate the Spirit of God in this place, like the reredos would open a portal to the astral realms of Enoch. Each night I traipsed through the snow toward home, embarrassed beyond belief.

From chapter 17, “The Man in the Window”

This plot-line was never part of any old versions. I completely improvised it and it’s one of my favorite things ever. Torr is blackmailed into visiting the “town hermit,” a disfigured man who lurks in his window. This is a description of what she enters to:

I broke my grasp on the knob and ambled, knees stiff, beneath the entryway. My heart fluttered. The kitchen walls bristled with steel weaponry: maces, flails, morningstars, an enormous battleaxe. A harpoon taller than me mounted across the window. Wicked bludgeons, rusting spears, ulus, pikes, hammers and scythes. A grizzly leghold trap mawed over my head. Blades and serrated arrowheads on each square inch of wallspace. I turned to bolt, heat flushing my face, the safety net gone, plunged into animal fear. He shouted to stop.

“They’re not for you,” he said.

From chapter 18, “What I Did After Reading Matthew 5-7″

This chapter was also never in the plan. It’s formatted as a list, detailing how Torr’s behavior changes for the better (and worse) after reading the famous Sermon on the Mount. 

I shed my coat, my underclothes. Giddy at such an altitude, at such a slant. I sat in the roots and prickling thistles, laid supine, sunlight white on my chest and legs. Light snowfall down the valley; it clung to my lashes. I gazed up at the high blue cirrus, shivering, nauseous with the gravity, then at peace.

And, if that seemed strange, don’t worry--at the end of the chapter:

I asked myself who this person was, the one who thought about Christ and got naked in boreal forests.

See, she’s self-aware!

Lastly, from chapter 19, “Liminal Theologians”

I had an entirely different plan for this chapter from the start. Since the majority of part 1 is Torr off on her own, I wanted part 1 to end showing her relationship with her two friends, Van and Nik, since they’re instrumental in part 2 and especially in part 3. In this chapter they all go down to a bridge, fish, and talk about conspiracies. Unbeknownst to Torr (and me) one of them has brought alcohol. This excerpt is of Torr going on a drunken, TMI rant about her life: 

“I feel like there’s a lot nobody knows about me,” I continued. “I think about a lot of stuff all the time. I do weird things now. Well they’re not weird. They’re beautiful sometimes. I actually don’t know if I believe in God actually. Why am I the only one in the whole world asking the questions? And it’s all buzzing up here in my head and I have no one to share it with and I want to just scream do you know?”

“Torr,” Van said. “You have to stop.”

I’m going to take Van’s advice and stop this update before it gets too long. I hope you enjoyed! I’m not sure when the next update will be but stay tuned!

[todaydreambelieversfic]

Author Spotlight: Coffeegleek Day 3

Author : @coffeegleek​

How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

At least a few revisions. Then multiple editing passes, and even with my spouse as my proofreader for the past 25+ years, and doing more editing passes before posting to AO3, I still find annoying little typos, sometimes large ones.

If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?

There was a crack fic I stopped writing years ago. It was a self-challenge during one of those tumblr trope challenges. I was trying to combine all of the tropes into the same fic as they were announced. It got zero traction though so I gave up. I'd love to go back and complete it, make it better. I had the whole thing outlined too.

What do you look for in a beta?

My spouse. We've been together for decades. He's been proofreading my original science fiction work and various fandoms' fanfics since before we were married. He even proofreads my Klaine smut and doesn't blink an eye. (He's a Glee fan too and on tumblr.) He knows what I'm trying to say when I can't find the right words and supplies them. He catches things I don't. What I love the most is for my original work, he's written his own fanfic. It's BAD. It truly is, but it's so heartfelt and earnest. He even came up with a soundtrack should I ever publish my sci-fi novel and the movie or show rights be bought. You really can't get a better beta than that. <3

There’s a number of friends on tumblr that I bounce ideas off of and who give me advice for topics they know far more about than me and google. I try to thank them in my fics.

If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

I’m going to steal another author’s recent answer and say that I could never do someone else’s work justice. However, I would love to see the author’s ideas for their fics even if they couldn’t write a prequel or sequel.

I suck at remembering titles and author names. There were two political fics that I would love to read more of should their authors ever decide to write in those verses again. One was where Kurt and Blaine's dads were running for president and Kurt and Blaine were along for the ride, staying in the same hotels at time (where they first met,) having to do school remotely, having to be the perfect sons for the press and Blaine being fed up because his parents were conservative Republicans. Then there was another fic where Burt was president and Kurt was the First Son living in the White House, along with Finn, and it was hard to date when your every move is watched by the press.

Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

I write AU, so canon is only a word often misspelled by me. :) Seriously though, I try to incorporate as many canon elements and characters into my AU fics as I can. It's the kind of AU I like to read as well. What draws me to read and write AUs is taking canon characters, putting them into a different setting, and seeing how they'll react. At their core, they still need to remain the same in principle and have many of the same traits. Like Kurt will always love fashion and be headstrong no matter what. Blaine is always going to have that spark within himself, no matter how depressed or oppressed he gets. Burt and Carole are always going to be loving and nurturing parents at heart. Even in fics where Burt isn't woke, there's a part of him that means well. (Not one of my own fics, but one I read a long time ago.) Different circumstances will change the canon characters and make them react in different ways though. Like, Kurt could end up more withdrawn and hide his love of fashion as a matter of survival and self preservation. He or Blaine could turn into "bad boys." Coach Beiste will always have a heart of gold. Miss Pillsbury will always have a problem with messes. Things like that. I know canon. Give me all the alternate universe versions of it and I will be a happy camper.

Talk about a review that made your day.

I haven't checked for reviews on my fics in ages (because I'm an insecure chicken) so I don't remember any specifically. I do remember there were many that made my day. There are those who take the time to review every chapter. Ones who write only a short note to thank me for writing the fic - both the angsty ones and the cracky fun ones. I love it when someone mentions something that no one else has that I was hoping someone would notice because I was proud of it. I'm not a popular author and don't get a lot of kudos or comments or reblogs compared to many. So each comment and kudos means a lot to me and I'd like to publicly thank every single person who wrote one or hit that kudos button.

Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

I once got a troll who decided it was his job to complain that I had misspelled hors d'oeuvres in one sentence out of an entire verse where the word was written multiple times correctly. It was a series of Klaine Advent one shots for the Empty Nest verse. At first I was shocked and replied with an apology. Then I was, "F this. The person is a troll who didn't read any other part of the fic or verse, just this one quickly written one shot entry, and if all they had to say was that I'd misspelled a commonly misspelled word, then they aren't worth my time." I deleted the comment. There's concrit and trolling. It wasn't concrit.

What advice do you have for people just starting to write?

Have fun writing, even the hard stuff. Know that it's okay to take breaks. Try your best and know you'll get better the more you write and the more you read. Pronouns are your friend and free. Don't put, "I know this is going to suck, so whatever," in your fic description. We all suck at times. It's a part of writing. But if you want folks to read it, using that as your fic's summary isn't the way to go. Just my opinions, which won't even buy you a cup of coffee.

Which fic do you most like to discuss with other people? Why?  

I think it’s pretty obvious from all of my rambling that I enjoy talking about both of my series - Empty Nest verse and A Very Hallmark Christmas verse.  I'm not a popular author and I know my fics, especially the Empty Nest verse ones, aren’t everyone’s thing, so I never get to really discuss them except with friends that I bug to death in private and via long replies to comments on AO3. (You all are saints blessed by all of the good and patient gods.) I have so much to say about them - the process of writing them, the world building, research, and character decisions that went into every single one. I know they’re not perfect. I know the Empty Nest verse grew miles beyond the ficlette about Burt and Carole that it was meant to be. I know my sense of humor in the Hallmark verse isn’t everyone’s thing either. I still worked really hard on them and am glad that I did. Empty Nest let me release a lot of the fear and anxiety I had for my Hispanic and gay son after the 2016 election. The Hallmark ones were a needed break to put some humor into my life. If others enjoyed them, great. If folks want to know more, my inbox is always open.

What's one aspect of writing fic that gets you really excited?

Writing humor even if I'm the only one that finds it funny. As I said above, writing the Hallmark Christmas movie dialogue and plot and the actors as they were filming it was a blast. Writing the commercials was fun and exciting. In my angsty fics, knowing I wrote a good scene, line, or moment that brought out all the feels. That's more of “satisfaction of a job well done” than excited.

***

Check out Coffeegleek’s Fics

Humorous Spooky Drabbles -  Humorous drabbles to spookish type prompts based on a tumblr post called October Drabble Prompts #1 by hallofceleano. The parts in bold and italic are from those prompts. Characters include Kurt, Blaine, Burt, Carole, and Finn. All fun; only #4 has some mild angst. #4 is for snarkyhag and regarding #5 - I know next to nothing about Twilight and had to look up Taylor Lautner on imdb. The liberties I took are my own.

A Very Sloppy Christmas - lucy8675309 posted to tumblr a series of gifs with Kurt dressed up as an elf. It inspired me to write the following prompt, which CoffeeAddict80 encouraged me to write as a fic:

I now want a fic where real Santa’s elf!Kurt gets drunk and vents to Blaine about all the woes of working for Santa. He’s over 100 years old and the outfits are terrible. Why couldn’t they wear clothes like the elves did in that one movie? Drunk elf Kurt has no idea he’s venting to Santa’s son.

Bonus if he wakes up and realizes he just had a drunken one night stand. He isn’t sure who it was with. Only that he’s naked, the guy in the bed beside him is naked and showing off a really great ass. Then said guy turns over and after Kurt’s done staring at his dick, he looks at the guy’s face and realizes who it is.

It’s a Twisted World -  I decided to challenge myself by combining the posted 5 weekly Klaine AU Friday themes and adding another one of my own. So that means: Farm, Fairytale, Vintage (1900’s,) Super Powers, Zombie Apocalypse, and Harry Potter World Klaine with a splash of a fic idea I thought of while in the produce section of the grocery store. Each week, the story will continue, though each part stands alone. This is not a brilliant work of perfectly composed fan fiction. What it is, is fast-paced, cracky fun, with a large dose of innuendo. At least it had my son laughing his ass off. I hope y'all enjoy it too. :)

[femmescripter]

Assurance of My Stay & Special Announcements

Hey there. I hope that y’all are doing well today. I don’t know how many of my friends and followers are still here after The Great Purge not long ago, but to the ones who do see this it’s good to see you! I hope we can talk some time. 

So I wanted to tell you guys some important things, and I won’t prolong it and will just get into it.

Ahem...

So first off - one of the reasons why I’ve been almost nonexistent here on Tumblr is because I’ve been busy with writing commissions and looking for steady work. The whole ban on risque content for Tumblr didn’t help either. Then we have the world wide pandemic of the C-Virus which really kicked things up from ten to ten thousand. And in between all of that I have been dealing with a...rough situation, to say the least of it, in my personal life that is still ongoing. I won’t go into the gory details but I’ll say that it’s the primary reason for looking for steady work in order to make enough money to get my own place. Having explained all of this I want you all to know I’m not trying to purposely keep away from you. Nor do I plan to leave Tumblr even with the ban. I just got important things to focus on. 

But I still love all of you and didn’t forgot you! It’s my end goal to finally get at least my work load done and be able to come back to Tumblr and try to enjoy the site once more. And if you’re all willing to accept me again that would make it even better. So yeah. This about covers the announcement that I am truly alive.

Now, onto some cheerful news I want to share with y’all. 

For the past two years I have been working on revising the plot, world setting and characters of my original light novel series. It’s been a long and grueling process but immensely fulfilling. And I think you’ll really enjoy this light novel series. At the moment I am currently working with @lucy-dont-give-a-fuck to make the character artwork for the main characters first and foremost. After that we’ll work on the other artwork needed for the pilot. And in between all of that I’ll be writing the story of said pilot. I can’t go into more detail than that but I will say that once things are done and sorted I’ll be posting a link to a crowdfunding page where you all can donate to support the project. It’s my goal to make the pilot both available in physical print and also put it up on Tapas for people to view it digitally in case you can’t come to the locations I’ll be selling it.  That’s cheerful news bit #1. Cheerful news bit #2 involves a fanfic remake and the mass editing of another fanfic. The fanfic that I’m going to remake is an old Tygra/Lion-O alternate universe fanfiction I made based on the 2011 Thundercats reboot series. Which, by the way, is criminally underrated and did not deserved to be cancelled on such a cliffhanger as it was. They should have focused on that instead of giving us the trash that is Thundercats Roar. Regardless - that’s the fanfic I plan to remake. Having grown as a writer I’ve developed a better plot for it and plan to delete the old version and replace it with a new one. I will post it exclusively to Archive Of Our Own and FanfictionNet. Now to go over the mass editing of a different story, Batman Beyond: The Heir. It really amazed me how many people liked that fic so much. And I’m ashamed of my for neglecting it like I have. Again this has to do with work and other major things that have gone on in my life that make updating stories difficult. But I plan to continue that story! Before that however I need to do a lot of editing with the current chapters and fix some mistakes, clear up loose ends, ect. So be sure to stay tuned for more Rex/Terry goodness! Additionally I will be likewise editing my Thief/Dishonored crossover story Business & Pleasure so that I can continue that as well. I also got a lot of new one-shots I plan to put out to keep you guys entertained in the meantime. I got other fanfics in the work as well. Also to anyone who still likes Voltron: The Legendary Defender and likes Lotor/Keith or James/Keith please do reach out to me! It’s so hard to find people who like either pairing as a genuine couple and not as hateful exes or with Lotor or James being a creepy stalker to Keith. And I got stories and headcanons planned for them, too. Lastly - I want to put out a notice that I’ll be editing and completely revamping some of my old Justice League: Gods & Monsters character biographies. I’ve recently found myself reconnecting with the franchise and after delving more into DC lore and media I came up with some new ideas. So expect changes on that end too. I will probably end up reblogging old character biographies I edit and making posts for new, revamped bios. And don’t worry. I’ll make bios for new characters, too! I can honestly say that I have evolved a great deal in my writing skills and have learned many new techniques to make my stories better for my audience, you lovely people, to enjoy! If you don’t want to stick around though I can understand that. I have been gone for a long time. But if you guys do want to see how much I’ve improved with my work then I’m happy to share in my journey with you.

Welp. That’s everything. I’m sorry that this was such a long read but I didn’t want to leave out anything. Also if you want to follow me on Twitter and Instagram just reach out to me and I’ll give you the handles for those profiles. Until next time - all of you please take care and remember to wash your hands! I love you guys very much.

[vgperson]

What Did I Do In 2019?

[mwolf0epsilon]

I was asking what you think Henry's fate is. Is it a time loop? Is it just a reel playing? Is all of it just a dream on his or Joey Drew's death bed? But you pose an interesting question too, do all the games connect in some way even if BATDR is not gonna be a direct continuation?

I’ve pondered on the nature of the world of Bendy and the Ink Machine for a while now and, after a little bit of digging around, reading theories that people have had, watching theory videos and a few playthroughs, I’ve come to a few conclusions over Henry’s fate and the meaning behind the ambiguous ending we got.

This idea is, as such, a mixture of Game Theory’s Revised BATIM Ending Theory plus expectations for BATDR, SuperHorrorBro’s ideas for who BATDR’s Big Bad might actually be, as well as several other ideas that have consistently popped up through out the Fandom’s existence.

Buckle up, this might get long as heck.

---

     To start this off, I’m gonna need to clarify that the Cycle (which is the dimension the first game takes place in, although the origins of this particular world are still debatable as real or fiction within the canon itself) functions in a way that seems to rely heavily on ideas and impossible physics. Not only that, but those who exist within this plane will follow a mixture of Real World and Cartoon World laws, so while death exists in the Cycle it isn’t permanent and things that could usually obliterate you in one go (like massive falls, a hit with an axe, or getting bashed by an out of control fairground attraction) aren’t an instant threat to your overall health. It also appears that people within the Cycle aren’t immediatly aware that they’re following cartoon logic, as Henry (who is supposedly human) doesn’t seem to react all that much to some of the most life threatening moments he faces in the Studio. This in itself already shows something is off about the whole situation Bendy’s original creator has gotten himself mixed up with.

Another thing I need to point out is that the Toonification process doesn’t seem to be reliant of the Cycle itself, and instead happened in the Real World as the events in “Dreams Come True”, and Thomas Connor’s and Joey Drew’s Audio Log on the Ink Demon imply. This, to me, seems to point towards the Cycle having been made some point during Joey’s Toonification experiments as maybe somewhere to hide his twisted creations, so it might be the Ink Machine has the capacity to not only bring things to “life” but to also create other dimensions from templates. Where these dimensions are kept is up to debate, but I assume Joey keeps the Cycle withing the Ink Machine itself. Either way, what I mean to say with these two little notes is that, while Henry appears to be in a fake version of the Studio that doesn’t mean the story of the game is just that, a story. I think everything IS real. But more on that in a bit...

Lets get started with the actual questions you asked:

--Is it a time loop?-- 

Yes, positively. The Tool clarifies this as soon as we get it. In fact, the iteration of the loop we’re doing as Henry is the 415th, and the following we do with the Tool unlocked is the 416th, meaning Henry (and by extention the other Studio Prisoners) have been at this for quite some time even if we weren’t aware at first. To the point where Henry began trying to establish contact with himself.

--Is it just a reel playing?-- 

Also yes. The Cycle as I’ve pointed out before, operates on Cartoon Logic. As such it can be compared to an endlessly looping reel of unfinished film. This is made more apparent by the reel Henry uses to “beat” the Ink Demon. “The End” is something of a curiosity as it is a contradiction in of itself. Not so much a final dot to close off an act as an infinity mark. It’s existence within the Cyle is also curious, as it seems unlikely Joey would have physically made a reel to stop the Ink Demon, so it brings the question of whether or not Mr. Drew can alter the Cycle externally (something that’s already hinted at due to the storyboards you can find on his desk at Joey’s apartment).

This to me indicates the Cycle can be altered (which Henry does whenever he tries to communicate, and by Allison Angel discovering the messages), but that bigger changes need to be done from the Real World.

--Is all of it just a dream on Henry’s or Joey Drew's death bed?--

No, I don’t think it’s a dream or just a story Joey is telling a child. I think the happenings of the game are actually happening, but that perhaps “The End” is a series of blank reels Joey feeds into the Ink Machine and that get filled out by Henry’s actions, and that Joey then watches them and recounts the tales to who I can only assume might likely be Henry’s and Linda’s daughter (as Joey pointed out Henry settled down while he did not, and it’s never mentioned if he has siblings).

With these questions out of the way, here’s what I believe happened to Henry and the implications of the game’s ending where Joey’s “niece” requests another story... The fact of the matter is that Henry is dead.

Why do I believe this? It’s like Matpat pointed out in his Revised Theory video (I know, y’all gonna get on my case because “Game Theory is cringy ew”, but seriously have a look yourself instead of going off in my askbox). It all has to do with small details that seem insignificant or just asthetic choices, but that can actually have a lot more hold on the plot.

Two of these details are:

The 5 coffins at the Studio and letters in Joey’s appartment.

The newspaper clipping Joey keeps in the Ink Machine room at the appartment, which was specifically picked and curated to appear in the game despite the player never going into the room to see it up close.

There’s a number of characters you learn about in the game and (by extention) the novel, and quite a few are dead (Such as Buddy’s friends Jacob and Dot who were murdered by an insane Sammy), but surprisingly only 5 have physical coffins at the Studio ingame.

And what do I mean by physical coffins? Well, there’s a 6th unofficial one, that’s what... And where can we find it?

Henry’s cell in chapter 5. He drew it himself even.

This doesn’t confirm anything of course, it could just be that Henry is into dramatics, but then we get to the newspaper clipping that Joey picked out specifically and kept in a room only he likely enters:

“Local Artist Pushed Himself Too Hard, Found Dead at Desk”

And what did Joey say about Henry pushing him to do the right thing? That he should have pushed a little harder... Like somehow Henry is at fault for Joey’s bad choices. Like Henry deserves what comes next... It almost feels like someone dishing out a speech before an execution, justifying why they’re getting killed. It’s a scene that made me inexplicably nervous until I looked into things.

Why bring up the coffins and letters to prove this, you may ask? Well, another thing Matpat points out is that the people who have coffins are people who were put through the Ink Machine, dying in the process and returning as Ink Monstrosities/Imperfect Toons, while people who got a letter from Joey and that replied to him were never lured back to him.

Wally Franks, for example, is living in Florida so he couldn’t make it to New York to fall into Mr. Drew’s trap. Allison and Thomas Connors are also out of the way so they merely exchange formaleties through correspondance (which implies Joey “made up” with them at some point to try to lure them back and has kept the charade up for a while).

So anyway, people who have coffins in the Studio are not only confirmed dead but also became monsters.

Norman became the Projectionist

Grant likely became either the Piper, Fisher, or Striker

Bertrum became the monstrous Carnival Ride

Lacie likely became either the Piper, Fisher or Striker

Susie became the Imperfect Alice Angel

You’re likely asking about Allison Angel and Tom Boris now, to which I raise you another Matpat pointer from the video above: Allison Angel states that she and Tom would dissolve if they were in contact with pools of ink.

Why is this relevant? Well, it means their bodies are made entirely of ink unlike, for example, Norman who is the sculking Projectionist. Why Norman? Well, he wades through a pool of Ink in level 14 and doesn’t dissolve. Heck, he chases Henry through the pool of ink without any trouble whatsoever in catching up. Why is he different from Allison and Tom? Because he has a soul stabilizing his grotesquely altered body.

Creatures that were once human and were transformed don’t just dissolve into ink. Their bodies remain intact after death until they eventually return to the inky abyss (potentially from being ripped apart) or until they’re revived by a Bendy Statue (Like Sammy, as implied by a clever easter egg near the fountain with the respawning Swollen Searcher).

In fact, now that I think about it, out of all the hostile creatures you encounter, Sammy, Susie, Norman, Bertrum and the Butcher Gang are some of the more stable bodied creatures within the Cycle, requiring a lot more hits to die than Searchers and Lost Ones, although Susie does die from a single stab (though the blow itself WAS pretty devastating in itself).

After pondering on this little idea I realized that the presence of Allison Angel and Tom Boris were entirely fabricated at that point. One of many alterations created by Joey to guide Henry through the last leg of his journey towards “The End”, very likely modelled after the real Allison and Thomas who he viewed as hostile, thus portrayed them as initially aggressive towards Henry. I mean, after so many unsuccefful attempts to make creatures entirely of ink (like the Ink Demon), it’s not too farfetched to say Joey eventually got the hang of it. The Mini Ink machines do it flawlessly and even help Henry, so who’s to say Joey didn’t perfect it within the Cycle to create beings not quite as strong as the Ink Demon, but strong enough to kill corrupt humans?

Again why is any of this relevant to how I think Henry’s dead? Simple. People who replied to Joey lived. Henry didn’t reply, instead he was lured in.

      I believe that the Ink Machine’s disastrous results in the Real World made Joey realize that making a person into a Toon through passing them through the machine with a template wasn’t gonna cut it to fix the grand mess he’d made out of the Ink Demon. But, I also think he realized passing them through the Ink Machine while living was also the issue. The ink corrupted their souls, left them vulnerable to becoming Imperfect beings like Susie. Having them ingest the ink prior to going through was also not gonna cut it, as it’s connection to the Ink Demon gradually destroyed Sammy’s already frail sanity and changed him into an abomination (that had a pretty strong will for possibly three deaths before he finally lost himself completely and became a soulless Searcher). This left one final method to experiment with on the one person he thought responsible to clean his fuck-ups: Joey had to kill Henry prior to putting him through the machine.

     In “Dreams Come True”, Buddy reveals that upon becoming Boris, his body was discarded. A byproduct of his soul enfusing with the ink and rejecting his human flesh. It might be possible that Joey was quick enough in killing Henry in an inconspicuous manner and then putting his body through the machine that Henry’s soul was pulled into the Cycle flawlessly while his body was spat back out for Joey to later deal with (Putting him behind his work desk as if he’d simply died of exhaustion, neatly hiding his crime behind the “suffering of a tortured artist”). This would explain why Henry lacks a shadow or reflection. He’s a ghost. A ghost that’s slowly realizing how hopeless his situation is. What a great pal Joey Drew turned out to be...

     Moving on to the ending of the game itself, there’s some very dark implications that come with Henry being dead. For one, Joey Drew doesn’t have a family, yet he’s recounting Henry’s plight to a little girl who affectionately calls him “Uncle Joey”. We know Henry pursued a family over a busy career, so it’s heavily implied that during the 414 attempts of trying to find a way out of the Studio, Henry’s wife has been grieving him, going so far as to leave their daughter with Joey as she tries to provide for the both of them.

Joey being the pathological liar that he is, would likely graciously look afer his old friend’s daughter and maybe offer “emotional support” to a distraught Linda, cementing his innocense, all the while bragging to the child about what really happened to her father without her knowing. That is a pretty twisted theory and I honestly like the idea due to how horrific it is.

But where does BATDR come into play here?

Well, it’s been confirmed to not be a prequel nor a sequel. Matpat suggested it might either be an Alternate Universe or a Side Story. I believe the latter is more likely, thanks to SuperHorrorBro theorizing that the people behind Gent might be the Big Bad/cause of that particular game’s misfortunes. A Side Story about the Ink Machine being recreated and templates re-used to create a familiar yet brand new nightmare.

I believe BATIM and BATDR are a vicious cycle of madness happening at the same time. The same task repeated by people who expect different results. Only with Joey Drew it was an animation studio, with GENT it might be on a larger scale...But who knows?

There will be returning characters, so maybe BATDR will shed new light upon the Ink Machine and the Cycle’s true nature.

[thecomicsnexus]

BATMAN: A DEATH IN THE FAMILY BATMAN #426-429 DECEMBER 1988 - JANUARY 1989 BY JIM STARLIN, JIM APARO, MIKE DECARLO, ADRIENNE ROY, MIKE MIGNOLA, ANTHONY TOLLIN AND OVER 10,000 PHONE CALLS.

Jason Todd finds out his biological mother may still be alive and he discovers there are three possible women that could be his mother. He then decides to meet each other to find out which one is the one. But at the same time, the Joker escapes Arkham and decides to make some quick money by dealing with terrorists. Both missions will collide into each other and change Batman’s life forever.

SCORE: 8

This story was a big deal when it came out, and for Batman fans, it still is. But it has been cheapened by DC’s decision to bring the character back from the dead. I assume this is not spoiler, as it is in the covers.

I will talk more about the plot in the spoiler section. I feel like in general there is a lot of lazy writing in this story. I think the idea was good, but there are many things in the story that didn’t need to be this way. I would have just removed everything about the middle east, and I would also tried to find an alternative to yet another “diplomatic immunity” plot.

Jim Aparo did his usual iconic style here, but that also means that many characters look too much alike, which is a shame. Especially when Jason doesn’t really look like a teenager.

So, something I can discuss outside of the spoiler section, is the whole gimmick of this story. The phone number vote.

From Wikipedia:

Jason Todd, the second character to take the Robin persona, was introduced in Batman #357 (March 1983). He was initially depicted with a personality and origin identical to that of predecessor Dick Grayson. However, the history-altering events of Crisis on Infinite Earths and Batman: Year One allowed editor Dennis O'Neil, writer Max Allan Collins, and artist Chris Warner to revise his backstory and personality. The changes caused Todd to grow increasingly unpopular with fans during this period; unlike the cheery and optimistic Grayson, this new characterization of Todd was depicted as foul-mouthed, impulsive, and bad-tempered.

Aware of Todd's unpopularity, O'Neil and writer Jim Starlin began discussing ways to retire the character, and before long, began to consider killing him altogether. During an editorial retreat, O'Neil recalled the success of a 1982 segment of Saturday Night Live, in which Eddie Murphy encouraged viewers to call the show if they wanted him to boil Larry the Lobster on air. O'Neil proposed a similar idea involving Todd to publisher Jenette Kahn, who liked the idea. O'Neil would later state:

We didn't want to waste it on anything minor. Whether Firestorm's boots should be red or yellow ... This had to be important. Life or death stuff.

— Dennis O'Neil

On the back of Batman #427, an advertisement was run featuring Batman carrying a severely wounded Robin. In the ad, readers were warned that Robin would die of his injuries "because the Joker wants revenge", but that they could "prevent it with a telephone call". Two 900 numbers were given: one (1-(900) 720-2660) which would let Robin live, and another (1-(900) 720-2666) which would cause him to die. The numbers were active for 36 hours, beginning on September 15, 1988, at 8 A.M. EST and ending on September 16, 1988, at 8 P.M. EST. Readers were charged 50 cents per call. Approximately 10,614 votes were cast during this period. When tallied, the final results were extremely narrow, with 5,343 votes in favor of Jason's death over 5,271 for his survival—a margin of just 72 votes. O'Neil would later admit to having voted in Todd's favor, as he felt that Batman was incomplete without Robin and feared killing Todd would lead to backlash.

"A Death in the Family" was written by Starlin. The artwork was illustrated by Jim Aparo, inked by Mike DeCarlo, and colored by Adrienne Roy. John Costanza handled the lettering, and Mike Mignola designed each issue's cover. The four-part story line began in Batman #426 (December 1988), and concluded in Batman #429 (January 1989). Two versions of issue #428 were prepared: one that would be used if readers voted in favor of Todd's survival, and another to be used if he was to be killed; the latter version ended up being used. The story line was later collected in trade paperback and hardcover form as Batman: A Death in the Family after its conclusion.

When it was first released, "A Death in the Family" generated massive media coverage and backlash over the decision to kill Robin, a beloved comic book character and pop icon. Newspapers such as USA Today and Reuters published articles about it, the latter of which would state that "a group of comic book artists and writers has succeeded in doing what the most fiendish minds of the century... have failed to accomplish". Frank Miller, author of The Dark Knight Returns (1986), was highly critical of the story, describing the "toll-free" number voting as "the most cynical thing [DC] has ever done". O'Neil and his team were caught off-guard by the amount of attention the story drew; according to him, it lasted four straight days, and was unlike anything the team had previously experienced. The story line was a bestseller in both the standard single-issue and trade paperback format.

In retrospect, Hilary Goldstein of IGN called "A Death in the Family" one of the best Batman graphic novels ever written. He described the story as "worth the price of admission", and considered letting readers vote on Todd's fate to be one of DC's strongest decisions. Both Goldstein and NPR contributor Glen Weldon agreed with the choice of killing Todd, as both felt the character was poorly developed and inferior to Grayson. Screen Rant praised Aparo's cover for the collected version, describing it as "iconic" and perfect for showing such a grim, sad moment.

From DC in the 80s:

For Batman, we did Death in the Family -- which was their best-selling book that year -- but it turns out they had all these licensing (pajamas, lunch boxes, and stuff like that) and the licensing department was very mad, everybody got mad, and they needed somebody to blame -- so I got blamed. And within 3 months all of my work dried up - Jim Starlin

Spoilers after the break...

So one of the reason I say there was too much lazy writing in this story, has to do with all the coincidences. The Joker just happens to be in the same places as two of the possible mothers. And not only that, Joker even knew Sheila when she lost her license for doing abortions. I understand why Sheila betrays Jason (she was also taking money from the poor in Ethiopia and didn’t want any problems with the law), but it was never explained how the Joker and Sheila knew each other.

There goes mother of the year!

To be honest, while Jason’s death was brutal, I always felt it was the right thing. Being Robin was child endangerment, Starlin was right in that. But it also seems like Jason magically became Robin, without much thought to it. I tolerate the pre-crisis version more than this one, but the people to blame for how he ended up being... are Max Allan Collins and Jim Starlin.

There were two versions of issue #428, and the material ended up being used for Batman Annual #25 (Infinite Crisis tie-in... more lazy writing, by the way).

But to me the idea of using diplomatic immunity once again was ridiculous, and just the idea that the Joker would become ambassador and kill everyone in the council... while representing Iran... is also quite stupid, because it would be considered an act of war on all other countries.

There is also another idea happening in the last issue. That the Joker knows who Batman is. This would make sense as it was too much of a coincidence that Jason died in that same explosion (Batman even mentions Jason to the Joker). The issue may have been edited to remove all references from the Joker that he knows who Batman is, you can read more about it here.

Both Joker and Robin would drop off the radar for an entire year, a year that was quite important for the Joker, as the Batman Motion Picture created bat-mania around the world. In fact, I am lying, the Robin concept wouldn’t take long to start resurfacing (in just a few months we would have Batman: Year Three). But the consequences of this story were felt for years, until people at DC started basically publishing fan fiction, with reality-punching Superboy prime.

If I had to vote, I would vote for Jason to die. Mostly because I know now, how much potential him dying gave to the batman and robin mythos. Having that dead Robin there is a reminder that what they do is dangerous and has no place for amateurs. I wouldn’t vote for Jason to die again now, as it wouldn’t mean a thing. Like death in comics.

[luninosity]

2019 writing round-up post!

It's been an interesting year!

Once again, I suspect I wrote more overall than last year - but much more heavily original, and even less fanfic (but still some!) again. But a couple of those have been stories people really love, or seem to, from the AO3 comments etc. I didn't finish one thing I'd really meant to finish, but I did write a 254k novel, which, what even.

So...let's see what all those things are!

Academic (just to get this out of the way first) ~A book chapter on Disney's Robin Hood for an edited collection on Disney & pop culture (my chapter's around 5,000 words) ~The intro/my chapter/overall editorial work/bibliography for the Terry Pratchett book, coming 2020 (collectively, probably around 15k words of my own writing, plus comments on contributor essays) ~The book proposal for the Star Trek book (~3,000 words) ~The in-progress Neil Gaiman and Batman book chapter - currently around 2k, needs to be around 6k including references ~Plus one more successful grant application! Not listing all the conference/unpublished papers, but those too. Fanfic Stucky straight from your heart, E, 10,516 words - ah, yes, my contribution to the Bottom Bucky Fest! It was such a marvelous prompt, about Steve guiltily having a kinky fantasy about essentially rescuing and caring for the Winter Soldier (which also includes teaching him all about pleasure), and Bucky finding out about this, and them then negotiating ways to make this fantasy come true. I hadn't been writing as much Stucky, but this one flowed really well and felt really good, and people seem to like it! Evanstan (hmm - way less Evanstan this year! still some, at least...) Evanstan Round Robin 2019, T, 12,497 words overall, but my chapters total 2,528 words. The annual holiday collaborative masterpiece! So soft and fluffy this year - such a delight sharing this love and creation and fandom with everyone! Extra Sugar - My Evanstan epic fic-baby! I added chapters 30 & 31 in 2019, which brings the total to 107,533 words - which means, doing some math, that's + 4,000 words exactly, apparently! There'll be one more chapter. I know what it is, I just haven't had the time to write it. 2020 goal: finish off this series, completely, entirely, at the end. I'm still so amazed by this whole universe that I somehow made, and by the fandom response to it. *hugs you all* Cherik When It's Time, T, 2852 words - this one's not up on AO3 yet, though I think I can do that now, if it's okay with the @cherikzine  people! This was my story for the Bookends Cherik 'zine, and it's an AU with magicians in a sort of present-day fantasy setting version of the ending of Dark Phoenix, and it was fun to get back to one of my first real fandom loves, and I'm glad I wrote it. we are electric hearts, T,  2,732 words - fluffy little fun universe-crossover in which Erik and Charles meet Kris and Justin, my original Demon for Midwinter characters, written for @kernezelda <3 Original Fic (written and published in 2019) Gingerbread Dreams, M, 23,662 words - holiday m/m gingerbread competition baking fluff! A cranky judge! A cheerful ugly-sweater-wearing baker! The Grumpy One Is Soft For The Adorable One! The story I looked up medieval gingerbread recipes for, for a contestant challenge! Also contains a couple of familiar characters from "October Spice" in supporting roles... This story is also available as part of the Most Wonderful Time of the Year Trio Collection from JMS Books - three novellas bundled together, at a discount! October Spice, E, 3,130 words - the story that briefly made it to #1 Best Seller on Amazon in the LGBTQ Short Reads category! My super-short flash fiction romance for JMS Books, priced at only 99 cents! (Or even less, when on sale!) A first meeting, instant attraction (and some orgasms!), a Halloween-loving baker, and an adorable firefighter. (Evan and Matt (well, Matt in baked-goods artistic tribute) get a supporting role in Gingerbread Dreams, as mentioned above, if you want to know what they're up to...) (Also, Evan's last name is 100% an Ace of Cakes reference.) Bisclavret, T, 11,756 words - technically I had about 5k of this written YEARS ago, back when I first read Marie de France's 12th-century lai in grad school and immediately had to write an adaptation of it. But this version has extensive revisions, and ended up over twice as long. If you like stories about a medieval bisexual werewolf and the demisexual king he falls in love with, and a love of books and cuddling...well, that's basically what this one is! A Leather and Tea Morning, E,6,993 words - the first of the Leather and Tea sequels! (There'll be at least one more, about which more below.) Ben and Simon, a lazy morning, and some emotional comfort sex in the wake of Simon having been in a car accident. He's all recovered and everything - but there're some emotions that need to be dealt with, about Ben and protectiveness and tenderness and care and getting back to a very cautious-but-satisfying kinky scene. Sound the Fairy-Call, E, 5,545 words - the heavily rewritten (like, nearly twice as long, new original characters, world-building, all of that) original-fic version of my old Evanstan fic Glow, and it's basically the medieval fantasy healing-sex-in-a-forest story, with a fairy and a tired mercenary and Eastern European folklore references! Plus I've managed to quote Robert Graves in the epigraph! (To be precise, I wrote the first draft of this at the very very end of 2018 - I had literally just signed the contract before last year's writing round-up post. But then there was editing, revisions, etc, in 2019. So it counts!) This story is also available as part of the JMS Books 2019 Top Ten Gay Romance collection! Come pick up a copy and discover all the bestselling gay romance authors! The Ninepenny Element, M, 12,274 words - my first published lesbian romance! With a lawyer, a witch, some hexed earrings, a psychic younger brother, and a ghost puppy! This is essentially the sequel to Elemental (m/m, E, 12,776 words), since Verity's the older sister of Sterling from that story, but you don't necessarily have to've read that one first. There'll likely be one more - I have a vague idea about weather magic, and there's more to explore in this universe. The Pooka's Share, E, 20,205 words - a weary magical cop, an unruly faerie horse shapeshifter, and some creative punishments for apple-theft! More fun with folklore and sex and two people finding each other and turning out to be exactly what they both need, full of magic and compassion. This story is also available as part of the Legendary Loves Trio collection from JMS Books - three novellas bundled together, at a discount! Original Fic (written in 2019, publication contracts signed but stories not yet published) A Demon for Forever, E, 13,752 words - surprise! I thought I was done with the Demon for Midwinter universe - but JMS did a submissions call for stories celebrating LGBTQ marriage, and, well - I'd written the proposal story for Kris and Justin, so...we should get to see the wedding, right? This one'll be out in February. Justin may or may not wear a wedding dress. A sparkly one. :D Leather and Tea in London, E, 20,909 words - the third of the Leather and Tea stories! Written for the JMS Books BDSM collection call. Simon's brother needs a favor. So Ben and Simon head to London, bringing Ben's retired-spy skill set and also some fun toys for enjoying themselves... Original Fic (written in 2019, not yet under contract or published other than on AO3) Character Bleed, E, 254,099 words. Which means...since last year I had 40,371 words done...that's +213,728 words. In a year. Not even counting the Bonus Scenes (see below) or the sequel-in-progress. THIS STORY, YOU GUYS. I love it and these characters so much. It's the most ambitious thing I've ever tried to write, that whole story-within-a-story, being about actors filming a Regency-era gay love story, and falling in love themselves. I'm just looking at it all...and I'm in awe...and the response to this, oh wow. I've been so amazed and so grateful and so thrilled - the art, the trailer, the comments, the people thinking about these characters and loving them along with me - I'm so lucky to have all of you. *hugs everyone* And now I have to figure out what to do with it, and how and where one even publishes this behemoth, and how to cut it into manageable book-length divisions...! Character Bleed Bonus Scenes, E, 25,697 words currently - there'll be one more chapter, of which I have about a sentence written. I know exactly what that is, too - Colby getting to top, albeit still with Jason giving some directions. :D The untitled Character Bleed sequel, which is Leo's story - not up on AO3 yet, though I might start that with at least the prologue, later today or tomorrow. But it's already up to 15,511 words, plus my outline... Ember and Serenity, E, 20,752 words currently - I added chapter 4 in 2019, so about +5k words in 2019, I think? I do have plans for this one. Oh yes. My librarian-magician and his book-thief...yes. And if you're wondering who hired Serenity, well, there already has been a clue... :D

A few little scenes, odds and ends, plot bunnies like that necromancer/prince opening...not sure what the word count is there, probably a couple thousand. ~~ Okay, I THINK that's everything! Which is...a lot of words. Character Bleed alone...wow. Just...wow. It's definitely tilted even more toward original fic this year, and I didn't finish 'rain on tin,' which means it's been over a year since I've touched that one, so I'll have to get back to it!

But I did get to go back and write a couple things for my old Cherik loves, plus at least some Stucky & Evanstan, so that felt good, and I'm super-excited about lots of those original fic accomplishments - Amazon sales rank, sheer length, fun with medievalism, Top Ten achievements, my first lesbian romance, and of course everything about Character Bleed, which is, I think, my favorite thing I've written - it's so real in my head, and it was so weirdly easy to write, despite the length! Thanks for reading! I hope your year is starting off splendidly. <3

[attentive-dragon]

Permission to be garbage

Book 2 current word count: 41945

(Going to start adding a "carthian dreams" tag to all my writing posts. It's the tentative name of the overall fantasy series in which my books exist, so it will be good for sorting purposes and finding posts later.)

---

I realized yesterday that I need to give myself permission to be garbage.

I've understood this concept before: when I was learning to play guitar, something that held me back was not playing well. I had to understand that no one plays well at first. The people who are masters of the instrument only got that way by practicing over and over again until they were no longer garbage at the instrument. The same is true for so many things: art, language, sports, almost anything in life.

Of course this is also true in writing, but I keep failing to remember it, somehow. A good example is a scene I wrote yesterday. I'd been stuck on this scene for over a week. I had a vague idea of a couple of things I needed to happen in the scene (in order to move the plot forward) but was having a hard time getting started. I didn't know how to open up the scene to get the involved characters to a place where they could say/think what needed to be said/thought.

And I had to remind myself, finally: it's ok to be garbage.

I spat out a really rough draft, just some ideas, and got the whole scene done. Then I let it sit. This morning, I came back to it, and was able to recognize what worked in what I had written, and what didn't. And having a framework already in place made revising it much easier, and I was able to shore up what didn't work, alter things a bit here and there, change this line of dialogue, use some different words for what I was trying to describe over here... and now the scene's pretty good! I'll probably come back to it again in a week or so to give it a fresh re-read and see what else might be needed.

It's very hard for me to do this, to just be able to write something without first polishing it in my head and having it almost "perfect" before putting it down on paper. And this keeps me from writing a lot more than I'd like to admit. My fear of writing something "bad" means I end up writing nothing at all, and that's not good for my momentum.

I'm reminded of a scene from the first book, the first time I demonstrate Darsena's real skill as an assassin. Those of you who have already read it will know the scene I speak of, where she disguises herself as someone else (going so far as to give herself a black eye and fresh knife wounds in order to really sell her fictional persona) and successfully infiltrates a guarded location so she can murder someone. But this scene is a complete rewrite of what I original wrote which was, to be honest, absolutely garbage. The action was very badly plotted, not particularly exciting, and just... made very little sense. The consequences of her actions (which were the whole point of the scene) came out of nowhere and without any real good explanation. See, I had ideas of where I needed Darsena to go, where she needed to be so she could move forward in her character development, but getting her there was the problem.

So I ended up completely re-writing the scene from scratch and ultimately ended up with the scene as it is in the completed book, and it's a thousand times better and fits much more cleanly with everything else in the novel. But without that original version, I'd have had nothing to work with. I got something out there, went back later and realized "hey, this isn't really what I want," and was able to fix it. And that's the important part.

I need to give myself permission to suck, to produce garbage. Writing something, even something terrible, is better than writing nothing at all. If I am too afraid of my writing being bad, I'll writing nothing, and I'll never finish, never get these ideas out on the page. If I at least produce something, I have a scaffolding upon which to climb and build something even better. One of my real strengths, I feel, is in revising, and I love going back to a scene and re-tooling it so it goes from "ok, the basic ideas are there, but I'm not sure how well this reads" to "ok, I actually enjoyed reading that, and I'm the one who WROTE it." But I can't revise something that hasn't been written yet.

I still struggle with this, but I'm trying to do better. I'm giving myself permission to write garbage, so that I can sort through that garbage and find the hidden gems within.

[gretchensinister]

6, 11, 15, and 19, please!

6: Which OC did you forget about?

If I could remember them, then they wouldn’t qualify forthis question, would they? Okay, but more seriously, in most cases, if I havean OC, and I’ve forgotten about them, I’ve also forgotten about the entirestory they’re in, so at least they’re not forgotten all alone, but are in thecompany of everyone else in that story. I don’t make characters just to makecharacters, and honestly I’m always a little surprised every time I rememberthat sometimes others do exactly that. However, interpreting this questionslightly differently, in the original fiction edited version of A Draught ofLight, I do have a character who’s actually pretty significant who kind of justvanishes near the end of the story. Presumably she went home, but like…withouteven saying goodbye, or without even commenting on all the crazy shit thathappened? I need to do another edit to give her a better exit.

11: Share the last paragraph you wrote.

Ah, this question comes at like the worst possible time,because the last full paragraph I wrote (as opposed to editing), I was thinkingas I wrote it, “I need to fix this later, this is a wall of text.” But here itis, anyway:

The doors opened onto a warmly-litspace that was bright enough to see everything up close, but dim enough thatthe brain ignored most of what was going on in the distance. A plush, velvetycarpet enveloped his bare feet, in a violet-red that immediately called to mindancient royalty. It drew away from him in a straight line and Pitch Black feltsure he knew what awaited him at the end. Because he knew this, he didn’t lifthis eyes right away.. Not straight ahead, at least. He wanted to get a bettersense of the room around him, first. Out of the corner of his eyes, the roomwas not so huge as he had first thought. Some of the walls were deeply polishedwood, and they reflected light from the chandeliers that have light to thewhole room. Pitch Black wasn’t going to stare at them too closely now, but hehad the impression that they were quite intricate. Along the walls, where therewasn’t polished wood, there were sections of stone, that seemed to glitter—no.The stone wasn’t glittering, those were pools and fountains. There seemed likean excessive amount of them, even if Sandy had a serious bath sex fetish (whichwouldn’t be bad, just surprising that it hadn’t been mentioned when so muchelse had) but then Cosmo supplied a more sensible answer. The pools andfountains were for everyone, and not necessarily for having sex in. Obviously,in a space where everyone was expecting to have as much sex as they wanted, itwould be a good idea to give people a chance to wash between partners or acts.And if Sandy had the money to buy him gold jewelry to wear for one night, itmade sense that he had enough money to put bath fixtures in that were luxuriousand fit the theme. The space in the rest of the room was taken up with beds andcouches, tables and chairs of many kinds, some curtains and screens providingmoderate separation between groupings. Opulent patterns and deep jewel tonesdefined almost everything in fabric. Off to the left, deep in the room, heglimpsed the gleam of wood and glassware that indicated a bar. All thisinformation about the things in the room he took in in an instant. He didn’tworry about it too much, either. What ought to draw his attention, and did,were the people. There were maybe twenty people there, maybe a few more, butnot a crowd. Which made sense, considering, well, the limits of humanendurance—and probably the management of group dynamics. Cosmo was suddenlystruck by the thought that Sandy just really liked friends with benefitsrelationships, and he also liked having a lot of friends.

15: How do you name settings/characters?

With settings, the thing that I keep in mind is that peoplearen’t really that creative when naming things. Is there a hill by the place?The place is going to be named after that, or maybe it’ll be named somethinglike “Hill in the language spoken when people first started living here” Hill.Is there a river? Is there a bay? Is there a certain type of tree really commonhere? A certain kind of weather? Is there a natural feature that looks like aneyeball/arm/leg/head/whatever? What’s the most memorable thing in the place’shistory? The place can be named after any of those kinds of things, and inalternate world stories I think of my naming as using a translation conventionso that the place names sound to the reader the same as they sound to the mainpoint of view character. The characters aren’t speaking English, but if theyhear the name of a place as, I don’t know, Redleaf, or something, then it’sgoing to be called Redleaf in the story.

Sometimes I do like to make up names for the sound, though,and for that, it depends utterly on the connotations I have of certain sounds.And that’s going to depend on…well,the entire history of English as well as my vocabulary and all my reading andreal life experiences. Also Tolkien, probably, because I read the Hobbit andLOTR as a kid, and JRR was much more serious about the development and sound oflanguage than I will ever be.

Oh, and in one of my settings, I name places by trying toimagine what a current place-name would sound like if it was used and garbledover a few thousand years.

Characters are a bit different. Sometimes I do go tobaby-naming websites if I have an idea of the sort of name I want, but moreoften I don’t, because looking up names isn’t furthering the story. If thesetting is on Earth, I’ll pick a name that I won’t mind writing or hearing inmy head for the whole story. Something I’ve heard or seen before. I likelearning random names in the hope that one of them will stick and I’ll be ableto find it when I’m trying to think up a name again.

Other things I have done to name characters: picked a wordthat has something to do with the character and run it through severaldifferent languages in a translator and changed it until it seemed more name-y;had a fantasy world where, for no reason but my whims, people’s names wereunusual, polysyllabic, but real, English words (I never finished that story butI had so much fun with the part I did write); and done the hideousaren’t-I-clever thing of naming my characters after other famous characters inthe English language literary canon. Hopefully I’ve given up this last.

Mainly, I try to choose ordinary names for characters thatcome from Earth, because I don’t really care for generational stories, sothere’s no way that the parents of a baby would know, when naming their baby,that the child would end up in any kind of adventure.

19: What does your editing/revising process look like?

For short things: I allow myself to write slowly, and then Ido one read through for both copyediting and content-level edits. This would bewhat I did for the stories for the kinkmeme prompts. I know it might sound alittle strange to characterize the writing of a story every two days as ‘slowwriting,’ but the stories were very short, of course.

And, honestly, for longer fics, it’s mostly the sameprocess, except chapter by chapter. For the novels that I really, really wantto be good, there’s at least two full editing rounds, as well as searches forwords that signal I used a weaker word than I could have (very, really, andothers).

But the process is just…reading everything slowly andcarefully, and changing what needs to be changed to make the story work betterand say what I want it to say. I don’t do things like printing everything outto make pen corrections by hand, I don’t change the size or font to literallysee the words differently, I don’t, Heaven forbid, just straight-up rewrite thewhole thing from scratch…I don’t do a lot of things.

Maybe I should, but no one’s called me out on my terribleediting yet.

Oh, and I also have a document where I can paste substantialsections or well-written, but irrelevant sentences that have been cut from thework to be published. That way I don’t have to feel bad about deleting stuffthat took me plenty of time and energy to produce, but I can still effectivelyget rid of it, while I know it’s still there if I need to put it back later. That’sprobably the closest thing to a Real Writing Tip here.

[ozma914]

How Long Should a Novel Be? No, Really?

Writing instructors, editors, publishers, they all say the same thing: When writing a piece of fiction, start at the beginning; go to the end; then stop. Don't pad it. Don't be too sparse. Just make your story as long as it needs to be, no longer. It's good advice.

It's also wrong.

What do these works have in common? That's right: They're too short.

I got lucky with my early books, because my publishers weren't that picky about word count. My novels tended to weight in at around 55,000 words, which sounds like a lot, but it's at the lower edge for fiction. The first science fiction novel I tried to sell clocked in at around 62,000 words. I reevaluated it, added some new and expanded scenes, and got it up to 68,000. That was it. The whole story.

Now, Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury is only 46,000 words long ... but that's Ray Bradbury. Stephen King wrote The Stand, which is half a million words and thus far over the norm for any book. But he's frakking Stephen King. Believe me, a new author will get nowhere by whining that, well, George R.R. Martin and J.K. Rowling write long!

"When millions of people know you by your initials, get back to us."  

Many publishers won't even glance at your work if you don't go through a literary agent, so although they aren't strictly necessary, they can be great door openers. But after Beowulf: In Harm's Way got several rejections, one agent decided to level with me:

"I'm afraid this isn't right for me, but beyond that I'm also concerned that your word count of 68,000 is on the low end for Science Fiction."

What ... this is it? Did you consider putting in more dog scenes?"

According to my research, people in publishing think the right word count for a science fiction novel is around 80-120,000 words. It varies for other genres: For instance, romance novels can commonly be as low as 50-55,000 words, which is how I got away with my romantic comedies. But it's possible some of the agent rejections for Beowulf: In Harm's Way were as much because of its length as anything else. This really rubbed me the wrong way. We get lectured over and over: Never pad your story! It should be as long as it needs to be, and no more! Cut the fat! So if the story is perfect at 68,000 words ... what the heck? I struggled with this for some time: If I wanted my story to come out at the low end of the proper length, I'd have to add at least 12,000 words. Of course, I could self publish it at whatever length I wanted, but I really wanted this story to have a chance with a big publisher, and even be the beginning of a series. But ... 12,000 words ... Luckily, a solution was already right there, on my hard drive.

"Check this out: I'm putting in a prologue! That'll show 'em."

When my first novel, Storm Chaser, was picked up by a publisher, I thought it would be fun to promote it by writing short stories about the characters, to give away as a way to get readers interested. My publisher jumped on that, and the collected stories became my second book, the collection Storm Chaser Shorts. I liked writing about the characters so much that I'd already decided to do the same with Beowulf: In  Harm's Way. In fact, I'd already written five short stories in that universe. Three of them were fun but silly little pieces that I didn't feel belonged in the novel's narrative. The other two were longer, and took place at the beginning of the story. They became chapters one and two, and I wrote a prologue that led right into them. (Prologues are another controversy. I like 'em, if they have a point.) By the time I'd added some connective material and looked through the manuscript for thin areas that could be expanded ... Ta Da! 84,000 words, and none of it padding. I don't think. I can't really complain, because after I put it all together, revised, polished, and read it again ... the manuscript was better than the shorter version. (Well, I think so. What do I know? I should ask some beta readers to check it out.) How do you feel about word counts? Do you care, or is a long book intimidating, or does a short one seem too lightweight? It seems strange to me that novels seem to be getting longer, even as potential readers are accused of having shorter attention spans. http://markrhunter.com/ https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

[fic-dreamin]

Don't put off getting the Outlandish Companion, you will regret it if you do! I realize now I would have gained more insight if I had purchased this while reading the first books. However, they came as a gift and thus I didn't even know of the Companion existed until I had finished the first vol. I checked out the Companion at a bookstore and here on Amazon and decided it was too expensive! But I was wrong. When I finally did get around to purchasing it, I immediately understood it would have been worth the earlier price as it is such a valuable adjunct to reading the books! All the questions I had been noting on some scratch paper; all the words I wanted to look up; the history side bars; the locations-real/fictional....everything was explained/defined/elaborated upon and MORE. I whole heartedly urge everyone reading any of the Outlander series to get this book as you will never be sorry for all the wonderful back story and asides and definitions and translations, the maps the footnotes, the resources for your further discovery......IT'S ALL HERE IN THE AUTHOR'S WONDERFUL STYLE. Go to Amazon

Everything 'Outlandish' That You Ever Wanted to Know, Plus So Much More! I look forward to the second volume of The Outlandish Companion, to be released within a matter of days, covering the second four of eight books published to date from The Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon. This Companion book is not a novel, but a tome put together to answer a myriad of questions posed by fans and others, about the author, the books, the series' characters, and even some of the history behind the stories. In some ways, this is how I'd have expected a "All you ever wanted to know about Diana Gabaldon and her craft but were afraid or unable to ask...." book to be. It is so much more, because you are drawn into an understanding of how this author crafts her books. You also appreciate that she does what scarcely any other historical novelist has done, that I'm aware, and that is, her companion book contains an entire chapter devoted to all of the errors from the first four books that, to date, either Gabaldon has determined herself or has been made aware of by her readers. All sorts of interesting information and stories related to the content of the first four novels comprising The Outlander Series is found in the Companion, not to mention bibliography, pronunciations, and a listing of other authors and books to turn to during the wait for the next volume (nine). If you have read all eight books as I did between May and September of this year, and are "addicted" then this "methadone list" is a blessing. Most appreciated in this newly revised version are some stunning photographs from the 2014-15 Outlander TV series, season one, produced for STARZ. After having perused this book, I feel as though I have met and enjoyed lively in-person discussions with Diana, and I'm hoping to be equally happy with the second Outlandish Companion, especially because, in my estimation, Gabaldon's novels have become better and better with each subsequent publication. My expections are that the second Companion will be more "outlandish" (ha!) than the first! Go to Amazon

Anything Outkander can't help but be pure perfection! If you are an Outlander fan, then this is a must read! And spank on you for not having already read it! ;-) Go to Amazon

I highly recommend this book to go with Books 1-4 Is this a must have to be able to understand and traverse Books 1-4? No, however, it makes the experience of the books so much fuller and richer than just reading the books alone. I personally am fascinated with the Author, Diana Ganaldon. She's a fascinating woman that was ahead of her time (Data Technology back in the day) and a great seeker of all things history. Diana explains how she became a writer and makes things I normally would skip over in any other book fun to read and a fascinating journey to help inspire others to embrace their hidden Author, consider writing and never give up. Go to Amazon

Lots of Info As with all of Diana's books there is a huge amount of information. Some times you want a little background to events in stories and this book provides that. I have found the books from which she draws information to be interesting as well. Go to Amazon

Enjoyable. Very interesting to see her frame of mind & thought patterns while working on these books! While it is a just a companion book, if you want to have a quick guide while reading the books for reference this works well since the author wrote it herself. What I mean by this- is that I bought other Outlander guides, not worth the money at all. So I guess you get what you pay for, so having one based & written by Diana Gabaldon is fun to have with all the books. I wouldn't suggest reading it instead tho- as she fleshes out the stories in her books & this is more like an outline she used for each book- so while it does tell you the stories- they aren't exactly the same as the books themselves. Go to Amazon

A Guide to Outlander This is a must for any fan of the books and the television show. The book gives a who's who list of the characters for the first four books. This is extremely helpful as each book is MASSIVE and has a ton of characters which often are only in that one novel. This way you won't be thinking "Who is this again?" Also, there is a summary of each book so even if you re-read them often; you can refresh your memory about the basic story line. Trust me, you need this companion to keep up with the story as the show is often different then the book. A great buy and a great gift for fans of the show/books. Go to Amazon

Five Stars It contains additional information to go along with the books. PERFECT, JUST AS DESCRIBED! Loved this! Key to the Gaelic words Loads of interesting information on all things Outlander Four Stars Five Stars Superb synopses and fascinating additional information. Diana Gabaldon is my favorite author of all time