#now i gotta see what specific characters show up in these novels. because i NEED more content of these characters

[aeternallis]

Hmm, I’m having feelings about this scene again, so before I get back to fic writing, I gotta just get this stuff off my chest.

See, in a lot of reconciliation fics I’ve read for KimChay, most often times when Chay asks why Kim acted the way he did, the reason is almost always some iteration of, "I wanted to protect you." Which is, in and of itself, it's not totally incorrect, but in my opinion, that answer has always felt a little off, yknow? Because it gives Kim the luxury of time in thinking about his actions and coming up with an excuse to justify his own cruel behavior. It gives him a way out that honestly feels a bit unfair to Chay, so most often it's totally brushed off to the side.

I'm not saying that answer is totally wrong, since I myself have used it in a roundabout way in my own fic, but the way I see it, at that specific moment, Kim's motivations as to why he dodged Chay and pulled away from him had absolutely nothing to do with protecting Chay and everything to do with protecting his own pride.

It's definitely not a calculated move; it's more impulsive than anything else. Lol It's an interesting thing to think about, since a part of me can't help but wonder: is this just a really mean habit he has, or is it because he didn't want Chay's perfect image of him to shatter?

Either way, whether it's part of his personality or all about protecting his image (I'm personality more leaning towards the former, ngl), Chay's wellbeing is not at all taken into consideration in this scene.

As a fan of Kim's character and trying to remain loyal to how he's portrayed in the show, I gotta not give him excuses, yknow? XD Lol

I think part of the reason this scene is so hard to watch for me is because, at the very moment at which Chay had needed Kim the most to explain to him what's going on, although Kim returns his feelings, the latter cared more about his own feelings than he ever did about the person he's in love with.

It comes to a head with their next encounter at the club scene-which is also painful af to watch-because in this moment, they both care more about their own feelings than they do each other, since Chay didn't even stop to think that Kim had just protected him from making a big mistake. And Kim didn't take Chay's feelings into consideration that seeing him would be hard to bear for Chay, considering how their breakup had gone down. :'D

In terms of character development, it's not totally a bad thing. After all, who in the world ever likes being caught red-handed AND called out (in this case, both Kim and Chay to each other)? In the beginning of the show, Porsche had a penchant for calling out Kinn's shit behavior-even when they were both aware that Kinn was already falling for him-and that allowed for the Theerapanyakul of that relationship to learn that if he wanted to be in Porsche's life, if he wanted Porsche to want to be in his life, more than loving him, Kinn also had to learn to respect him.

It's the same theme with both VegasPete and KimChay: there is a difference between loving someone and respecting them.

And for men like Kinn, Kim, and Vegas, can anyone even begin to imagine how difficult it would be to learn to respect someone, when all of them have lived their entire lives up until that point turning their noses down everyone else? That it's second nature for them to think of everyone else as trash?! That to have that sort of arrogance is part of why their family has been able to climb their way to the top?!

(The VegasPete novel makes so much more sense to me now, because Vegas found it so hard to learn to respect Pete that he had to create an entirely different persona for it! LOLOLOL HE HAD TO DISASSOCIATE, BECAUSE HIS ARROGANCE IS SUCH AN INTRINSINCT PART OF HIS PERSONALITY AS A THEERAPANYAKUL! HAHAHAHA! And Pete is all, "my baby is trying his best, so points for effort" Lol)

Kimchay's scenes up until this point have been tender and poignant, but there are moments even in the beginning where although Kim was falling for Chay already, he didn't respect him whatsoever (ignoring his calls, giving him homework without any intention of following up, etc.)

The breakup scene was a jostling reminder to the audience that we cannot ever forget that Kim is a Theerapanyakul, and with that name, comes all the hubris and arrogance that being a member of that family entails. There is credibility to what Pete says when he states that out of all of them, Kinn is the most normal.

In other words, Kinn is the most "normal" because not only does he genuinely care about the wellbeing of the bodyguards in a way the rest of the family doesn't (Tankhun is tactless when he speaks towards them, Vegas uses them as meat shields, and Kim is dismissive and cold towards them, etc), but also because of the softness he genuinely harbors inside, he's more easily able to let go of that arrogance (case in point: the forest adventure with Porsche).

Is it any wonder to Korn WHY the bodyguards can easily be bought off? :'D

(Side note: We know Kim himself is somewhat aware of his own vanity, as he was able to perfectly say the line in the screenshot without hesitation. On top of that, this is a very loaded line; wtf has he done before that he would even be aware of his own reputation?! Haha! I know the established fanon is also that he's bad at playing detective, but I wonder if it's not necessarily that he's bad at intel gathering, and more like he was having an off day with this particular leg of his detective work, since daddy dearest is actively making sure he's a couple steps ahead of his son. Hmm.

In my opinion, it lines up more with Kim's subsequent actions later down the road, and the overarching theme of KPTS (falling in love is in and of itself a humbling experience), as this gorgeous fucker did not at all think about the consequences of his actions. XD

It isn't until Chay has completely cut him off that Kim begins to learn that simply loving him won't be enough-will never be enough-to get him back in his life.

[bengiyo]

La Pluie Ep 8 Stray Thoughts

Last week, we wrote so many good posts about this show, especially the importance of Tai's pleasure from giving pleasure to Patts. Lomfon proved mostly ineffectual, but Tien has placed himself firmly between Lomfon and Tai. Nara turned up at the camp, and Tai witnessed her kissing Patts. It's time for the drama.

I don't mind starting a few minutes back to reset the timeline and pacing of this so we can see how Nara approached Patts.

Oh, Patts is not feeling this at all.

I really appreciate that Patts feels bad about this situation between him and Nara. I don't think I'd like him for Tai if he didn't care about Nara.

The backing track for this Nara scene is incredible. This show has really solid sound mixing.

I feel for Nara, because her greatest fear was Patts leaving her for his soulmate, and now he's found him. She's gotta be feeling upset, embarrassed, and a little foolish at this point. I really appreciate that the show has shown her great respect.

Once again, I love how engaged Patts is with everything going on. He saw a dropped bento and immediately worried that Tai saw Nara and misunderstood.

Bow and Kung are holding hands. I know we're worried about Tai, but I NEED TO KNOW.

Man, I love how quickly everyone pieced together what happened and focused on the immediate problem: locating Saengtai.

Lomfon's insistence that Saengtien not endanger himself too is quite reasonable.

Oh, Tien. He's such a little brother. I love him.

Great transition. I'd recognize Tai by his rings and sweaters anywhere.

I must say the music for this episode has been so well-selected.

NOO! MY SWEET BOY!!!

Interesting. Lomfon has hearing loss, too.

Patts is so strong. Carrying our beautiful boy all the way down a mountain.

I knew Tai was running up that goddamn hill because he doubted the truth of the soulmate connection and was confused by Nara and Patts being compatible!

That was beautiful. I love Patts so much. He's not mad at Tai and just listens quietly to Tai finally opening up about his Soulmate fears. They can finally arrive at the conclusion the show has been arguing for literally two months: It doesn't matter if they're ordained by the universe or not; what matters is they love each other.

Patts just put his whole heart on the line when he asked Saengtai to be his boyfriend. I love this man. I will be tolerating no more slander on him.

I really like how specific each of these have felt each time.

I WILL NEVER GET OVER BOY SOMPOB SINGING OVER BIG MOMENTS IN BL. NINE YEARS AND COUNTING.

Bow and I are the same. I also cried over my boy.

I absolutely adore the relationship between Tai and Tien.

OH. MY. GOD. LOMFON HEARD BOTH TAI AND PATTS!!!!! The implications of this are huge.

We get to meet Saengnuea next week!

I am absolutely in love with this show. This is my favorite show from this year that's not Moonlight Chicken. I love how much grace is given to every character. I like how seriously it takes itself, its ideas, and its audience. I love how much this feels like a classic romance novel I might have read when I got into this 15 years ago. I love the choreography of all of the kisses. I'm haven't cried this much of a BL in a long time.

Shoutouts to @lurkingshan @kyr-kun-chan @wen-kexing-apologist @liyazaki and @ginnymoonbeam for sending me updates while I was busy this afternoon.

[mareenavee]

For the Asks to Spread Love, pick and answer 3 that you haven't been asked already! 🧡

Hello again, bri!! Thanks for sending more of these for me! I've really enjoyed catching up on them and thinking through these today!

Fandom Positivity asks from this game here.

10. A popular character you actually really like and why.

I do like me some rare characters most of all lol. My perspective is a bit biased because I love the ones I love and I don't mind if they aren't "popular" per se. (:

LOL -- The obvious answer is Teldryn, right? But I'm gonna talk about

💫Neloth 💫

instead.

I think he's popular to dunk on because he's been a very big pain in the ass in the games for centuries to everyone who will listen to him. I mean, since the events of Morrowind at minimum. (:

Why do I like him? Because of how he's been written by myself and a few friends -- namely @thana-topsy, @paraparadigm (TOOTHPICK!), and @thequeenofthewinter.

I love to see how other people take this character and run with what we're given in text ESPECIALLY considering how ridiculous he is to deal with and his general attitude toward other living things.

For myself, where I write him as a long term friend of Nerevarine!Teldryn Sero, I love to use his character as an opportunity to talk about the struggle of redemption. How does one redeem themselves from a lifetime of difficult choices made to fit into a specific perception? Does this perception eventually end up becoming a core facet of who you are as a person? If that is the case, can you change? Are the consequences of your choices enough to make you irredeemable? Further, can you forgive yourself if change does not come easily or if you return to old behaviors much too easily?

He's a complicated one, I think, especially by the events of Skyrim. He's not exactly estranged from the rest of House Telvanni, but the connection is tenuous and fraught as the House is still, apparently, recovering from the Red Year. In Morrowind it was very much the opposite. There's gotta be a kind of grief to this shift under the uncaring, hyperfocused exterior.

He's annoying, yes, but very interesting to me, and so he's in my fic. And he's actually a huge part of the latter half of the book.

11. Recommend a fic with an unusual/original headcanon or characterisation that you loved.

OH I'm SHOUTING OUT @changelingsandothernonsense's Danger!JOSH (aka Nerevarine Teldryn Sero)'s Nerevar-as-a-parasite situation in Serious Mistakes.

This angry spirit, more or less, lives in the ring and speaks into Teldryn's BRAIN and sometimes drives the entire car, so to speak and I've never ever read anything like it, holy shit. I'm a beta reader for this particular project and I literally cannot yell about it enough.

It's a novelization of the Teldryn Serious mod which was already intriguing, but AH. MY GOODNESS the Nerevar situation.

Let me show you. From chapter 4:

Aren’t you meant to be looking for something? “Oh, you’re still here?” Teldryn rasped, as if saying it out aloud mattered here. You should be thanking me. Teldryn grunted in annoyance, he had a point, he hated it when he was right. His mouth was dry. He wanted to stay where he was. Sleep. You can’t stay here! Get up! Teldryn groaned. Right again – the tide was coming in, if he didn’t find what he was looking for now, then it would be gone by morning. He needed his keys. Was there an Argonian on the beach? He couldn’t remember. His head hurt. He pinched the bridge of his nose, it did little to relieve the pressure. He always overdid it on the magicka, and now he was nauseous.

It's fucking cool, isn't it? (:

19. Give kudos to someone who leaves great comments.

OH GLADLY. Here's where I shout out @polypolymorph!!!

Okay so I could pick out a bunch of comments -- or novel-length responses. Each comment turns into an opportunity for a conversation and I'm always beside myself to hear back from her.

But right now, I'm still grinning ear to ear over, you guessed it. Eyestalks. Eye. Stalks.

(on this project here.)

[alwaysgold03]

Rainbow capitalism, the exploitation of gays in media, and All for the Game: An Essay

TW: talk of regular aftg tws

THIS WILL GET TO AFTG I PROMISE YOU JUST GOTTA READ THE BACKGROUND FIRST.

The other day I was watching a new video by one of my favourite YouTubers (@/aretheygay) called “the end of rainbow capitalism”, where he was explaining from a sociological and capitalistic standpoint why a lot of queer people feel disillusioned from the queer media we’re given… and it got me thinking.

While yes, there are more queer characters in media these days, and there are more queer centred stories being told, 8.5/10 times (random number I made up don’t ask for sources) these pieces of media portray a VERY specific type of queer person, something that can be easily squeezed into a box and sold at the highest price, because, of course, everything comes down to capitalism in our world.

So, these movie/tv producers (most of the time, but this can also be seen in books) want to make queer characters that are gay enough for the gays, but can also cater to their straight viewers. Why?? To Maximize Profit.

So, This YouTuber gives us an explanation as to why we feel disillusioned: because these pieces of media were not made for queer people, they were made for queer CONSUMERS. They were made for money and, most of the time, nothing else. (CW: This is not for all pieces of queer media, this is a generalization).

This means that a very large portion of queer media is based around a white, cis guy who goes through the throes of coming out and homophobia in their community (normally high school) but oh my gosh they don’t deserve it!!… and then it eventually ends with unanimous acceptance or death.

Therefore, even though we are *technically* getting the queer media we all so desire and crave as most lgbt+ people do (because let’s be real, everyone wants to see themselves represented in media to feel more accepted), we are also being told we can’t complain about what we are given. We hear “oh my god, the gays whine so much, we literally gave them what they want”. But really, we weren’t. Not at all.

We are given these tiny crumbs of representation that only represent a chosen few that are easy to advertise to the masses, and also perpetuate a queer stereotype in a cishet society. Selling a “homosexual box” all tied up with a nice bow when, really, you cannot possibly fit all queer people into one category. That’s why so many queer people do not see themselves in the characters on tv.

Now you may ask, what does this homosexual box include?

- extremely washed out queer characters (diluting them like gingerale when you have the flu, of all controversies and “bad” qualities. The gays can be gay but not if they have sex or commit crimes like the cishets!)

- Mostly white, cis characters played by white, cis, het actors

- One single narrative of the “queer experience” being homophobia and exclusion.

What does this mean? Well, it means that these producers in the media are making millions of dollars catering to consumers, and by doing so, trying their hardest to make the queer characters the most unproblematic, “good” people they can, pushing a new stereotype in media. The “gay hero”.

I kinda came up with this term on my own (once again pls don’t source me) but it’s something I’ve always had a problem with. It’s the YA novels and teen tv shows/movies that star a cis white gay guy that never does wrong and gets praise for coming out and “telling his truth” and then THE END! (ex. Love Simon, which isn’t technically bad,,,, but. You know…) and really, for most queer viewers, this story is overused and boring. We end up reading the same characters over and over, craving some sort of representation we can see ourselves in, but just receive the same person with a new name that we end up forgetting everything about and never want to read or watch again.

I’m not saying stories about cis, white, strictly gay guys shouldn’t be told, because of course they deserve a place in media too, but come on. We need more than this box. We deserve more.

Because of this, in a lot of queer books, tv shows and movies, the queer character never does anything wrong, and perpetuates the ideology that queer people are different, something OTHER than human. Because it’s just a fact that humans make mistakes and do bad things. That’s what makes us HUMAN. That’s what makes us interesting and gives us DEPTH.

So here is where I start to think to myself. I am constantly looking for queer media to consume, as a queer person does, but I am also highly critical of it, and will not hesitate to shit on a badly written lgbt piece of media (to my friends only, because I don’t believe in open hate that the creators could see when my opinion could be subjective).

Of course, as my main genre to consume, I want these books and movies to be good, but more often than not, I am disappointed and give the book to thrift stores without a second thought. These books most often portray characters that have no depth, no individuality, no tension, and honestly, overall, are simply boring! This is mostly because they never did anything WRONG. They weren’t, in any way, bad people. They weren’t realistic! They were blank slates.

And so, I look at the lgbt media I like the most! Aristotle and Dante, Cemetery Boys, Banana Fish, Song of Achilles, Red White and Royal Blue, Carry On, (Nico Di Angelo and Piper McLean specifically from Percy Jackson), One Last Stop, Radio Silence, Portrait of a Lady on Fire, But I’m a Cheerleader, Doukyusei, Tamen de Gushi. These portray characters with complex background stories and embedded personal and generational traumas that influence their actions, be it good or bad. Some do things that are morally wrong or grey, they do what they have to for their own wellbeing, they have motivations and goals that go beyond “oh gosh my whole life revolves around coming out”. Because that is just not accurate.

All of the characters we know and love as our favourite queer characters (for me at least) make mistakes. They do bad things.

This is where All for the game comes in, aka my all time favourite series and hyper-fixation. I’ve been obsessed for YEARS and was unable to understand why I loved it so much. It has its faults, but it has held me hostage for this long, without any sign I’ll be let go in the near or far future.

As I was watching this video on YouTube, I had a “holy shit” moment. Because even in all those queer pieces of media I mentioned, all the characters are considered the heroes by the end of the books, they end up being the “good guys” all along, even if they might not always be the greatest or most morally sound.

But what, you may ask, ISN’T like that???

ALL FOR THE GAME.

I read All for the game a while ago. I have analyzed so much of the series you would think I’d be bored by now, but for some odd reason, I never am.

All for the game is probably the only series I have ever consumed where every leading character (the foxes) is so morally fucked up that there are MANY instances throughout the series where I thought to myself, “damn, I really should not condone this!” And that makes it the most interesting cast of all time.

And yes, I do fault Nora for many things she has done. In all honesty, she was terrible at researching with accuracy for everything concerning the mafia, sports, mental illness, the use of medication, and basically all of the series’ main themes and subjects, BUT. That woman truly produced the most realistic set of character flaws ever in the history of anything I have ever read or watched. Every fox is completely different, completely their own, represents a different type of person, and interesting in their own ways. That, and Nora completely DE-STERILIZED the gays. She de-sterilized them so hard she basically dipped them in the Thames!

This, in my very uneducated opinion, is why we all love all for the game with such an intense ferocity.

Nora Sakavic created characters with so much depth, that were so fucking realistic, that we can see them as real people, with real problems and traumas, with realistic reactions to those traumas. Truly, I have not met a queer or mentally ill person who hasn’t related to at LEAST one of the foxes.

Because, to reiterate, this series isn’t a series where the queer characters “come out” and it’s a massive plot point and they are praised for it. It’s a series with its own plot with queer characters existing within it. They are queer characters being queer and living their (dramatic) lives. Queers in the wild! That in itself is realistic representation. This, along with the fact that the queer characters in the series aren’t, in any definition, good people. They have killed people for fucks sake, and otherwise done, morally, VERY BAD THINGS. But that’s what makes them so interesting! That’s why we can analyze them over and over and find new things to delve into constantly.

Nora gave us exceptionally interesting characters, and queer characters on top of that! Even the characters that never became canon (cough Renison the best wlw couple to exist cough), most everyone in the fandom agrees that they are together! It is communal knowledge that that series is full of traumatized queer characters because of how they were written with in between the lines context, canon or not. And, even though this is how we interpret the media, it is not a “gay story”. It’s a thriller, a sports novel, a mystery in some ways, and, of course, a romance. This is where the difference between “a gay story” and “a story with queer characters” comes into play.

And, yes, maybe the series is horribly unrealistic, and over the top, and dramatic, and badly researched, but the queer representation is REAL. It showcases everything, canon or not (it’s canon to us Nora, piss off)!

We have Neil, the main character, who is canonically Demisexual, and could easily be interpreted as a trans guy due to his backstory. We have Andrew, who is gay, with a very realistic backstory of sexual assault from men in foster care. We have Renee, a born again Christian who CLEARLY a lesbian (rainbow hair? Come on.), Allison the comp-het bisexual, Matt and Dan the poc bisexual power couple, Nicky the conversion therapy survivor gay poc who found a better life in a different country with a found family (we support fanon Nicky not Nora’s Nicky where she pushed obvious stereotypes onto him), and Kevin Gay- I MEAN DAY- who is so obviously bisexual that he publicly drools over Jeremy and then tells Neil that it’s easier to be straight. How would you know Mr Day??

And these are just. Facts in the fandom. And it’s all normal. There is no “holy shit, you’re gay?” *homophobia arc* moment when Andrew and Neil are sort of confirmed to be together. There is really no coming out moment for ANYONE, because it doesn’t matter! They just are!

And they aren’t made out to be these heroes who can’t do wrong! Because they are all royally messed up individuals who have made mistakes and went through shit and came out alive!

MORAL OF THE ESSAY: queer people can be morally skewed and still deserve love! Bad people can be bad and also be gay and still get the happy ending! YOU CAN BE A “BAD PERSON” AND STILL MAKE/FIND A FAMILY WHO LOVES YOU. YOU CAN GET A HAPPY ENDING DESPITE YOUR WRONG DOINGS OR TRAUMAS!!!!!

(I am not equating having trauma to being a bad person btw, I’m just saying that separately, most of the foxes have trauma, but they have also done bad things, and either way, with both, either or none, they deserve love.)

That, I think, is the key to why I love All for the game so much, as someone who is severely mentally ill and severely queer. We were given a story where the main characters are queer and mentally ill and traumatized and do bad things, but still get a good ending. We’re shown that what you do in your past, or what happened to you in your past, doesn’t define you. We’re shown REALISTIC, MESSY, IMMORAL QUEERS THAT DON’T FIT THE RAINBOW CAPITALIST BOX. We are given something we can see ourselves in. No matter her wrongdoings, I will always love Nora for that.

Anyways. I love all for the game. I think I always will. I hope you guys agree :)

[mr-laveau]

Hi!

First of all, i wanna say i love your art and how every tiny little detail tells a huge story and resmble an important thing in your character

Second of all, how did you that?

I am now your little funky student that needs advice on making ocs more interesting

Oooooooh! Well first of all, welcome to class, my funky student! Secondly, the short and lame answer is:

I'm a character designer, it's my job to know how to do that.

The long answer tho...

In my approach to character design (of which, there are many approaches as this subject is individual-based so my way isn't the ONLY way), I tend to focus on a few things in my initial thought process:

What is this character's story? - What's their role in the plot? What's their personality? What's the setting of their story? What are the deets?

What is the medium in which people will be exposed to this character? - Will they see this character in a game? A comic? A dating sim? An animated show? Is this just a design to be posted? Depending on the medium, this will affect how you design the character, in terms of how that design will be conveyed as its used within the medium.

What do I visually associate this character with? - after understanding the character, what do I associate with this character's concept? What comes to mind when I think of them? Do they remind me of something/someone specifically? What's the connection?

What are icons/symbols represent the above associations and how can I incorporate that into my design? - This tends be very important for me because my style is heavily reliant on shapes and dynamic geometry so depending on that, I can squeeze shapes and symbols in to make the character more interesting and more recognizable to people who view those symbols.

Are there any extra details I wanna squeeze and would they make sense with the narrative? - This question is as basic as follows so ask yourself, is there anything I wanna input to make it fun? If so, what is it and how will it make sense?

Has this already been done? - I've been more keen of this question as I've spent more time in the redacted fandom because the base fact is, everyone has drawn a listener and if I wanna be seen, I gotta be able to stand out. In your case, does your character stand out amidst the rest? If so, cool! If not, then depending on your intention with that design, you may wanna revise your design and see how you can freshen it up in a different way with what you've already thought up.

To more properly explain my process, I'll use my poly redacted OC, Carter Wilde • Casanova, since I think it has a very strong design I can use to explain this process!

What is Carter's story? Carter is a character based on the listener traits of Smartass and Non-canon Freelancer in Lasko's BAs. He's a a telepath and a teacher at DAMN who acts as the main character in his own story to resolve the issues in DAMN from the perspective of a new teacher! He's a fiery soul with unorthodox methods that get his lessons across and a bratty streak around Aaron and Lasko.

What's the medium in which people will be seeing Carter? People will mostly be seeing Carter through illustration which allows me to get creative with how I want to present him but in my usual designs, I will often design them in mind to be a part of an animated show or a dating simulator. For Carter, he's designed in mind to be conveyed in a Visual Novel, hence why he's designed from the waist-up and is designed to be conventionally attractive.

What do I visually associate this character with? Carter is based on my writer username, the Bratty Telepath, and shares a last name with Oscar Wilde, an Irish poet/playwright. As such, I associate him with stuff like the mind, the brain, writing, the rebel genius aesthetic, punk culture and queer iconography!

What are some symbols and icons that represent the associations I've listed above? Some elements in Carter's design are based on punctuation marks!* His hair puff is dyed pink and resembles a brain, his nails are painted in both the colours of the pan flag and the recent poly flag, his tie is loosened, suggesting that he may have a more relaxed form than other teachers, he wears a choker which according to BDSM is indicative of him possibly being a sub, his entire outfit suggests he may not be an average teacher. *His tie and one of his earrings = exclamation mark, his hair tie and his other earring = comma/semi-colon, his bindi (on his forehead) and the buttons on his gloves = periods. Additionally, his nails are painted in CMYK which is a colour model used in printers.

Are there any extra details I wanna squeeze and would they make sense with the narrative? The bindi was also a last minute decision for me actually but worked out because Carter is desi and raised closer to his Indian culture and the bindi is believed to be representative of the third eye which also adds to the fact that Carter's a Telepath.

Has this already been done? Not to my knowledge...in this fandom, so I think I'm pretty good on this end.

I hope that gave you an idea of what I was talking about! I love pulling together stuff like this cuz it's really fun pushing things together and forming something seemingly simple but intricate! Hope that helped!

[hunxi-after-hours]

Ok going off that Yan Wushi ask and the Betrayal™️ I gotta ask your opinion. When I read the buildup to that, Yan Wushi showed up and is truly surprised Shen Qiao is happy to see him, even eats from a bowl of food that he finds disgusting for Shen Qiao. And then betrays him - and to me that almost read as Yan Wushi was starting to realize he liked Shen Qiao and flipped out and so betrayed him to reject those feelings? Though it seemed like he had already set up the meet with Sang Jingxing so I’m probably reading too much into things. Doesn’t change how awful an act it was but could kind of color the motivation of why he did it, so it’s less that he got tired of him and more that he was lashing out.

I mean, let's look at the scene:

sldkfsldkjf when did I start doing close-reading of 《千秋》 passages rip

晏无师抚上他的脸颊，禁不住轻轻叹息：“阿峤，你怎么总这么轻易就相信别人？” / Caressing his cheek, Yan Wushi couldn't resist sighing, "A-Qiao, why do you always trust people so easily?"

沈峤蹙眉：“我以为我们是朋友。” / Shen Qiao furrowed his brows. "I thought we were friends."

晏无师微微一笑：“这该怪你自己，你若不是说出朋友的话，我兴许还要晚一些才会对你动手。本座何许人也，哪里需要一个武功都恢复不了，有门派归不得，人人耻笑的落魄之人来做朋友？” / Yan Wushi smiled slightly. "You can only blame yourself for that. If you hadn't said 'friend,' I might have moved against you later. What kind of person am I, to need someone who cannot recover their martial skill, who cannot return to their martial sect, who is mocked by all and abandoned by the world, to be his friend?"

沈峤不说话了。/ Shen Qiao no longer spoke.

so in the fanwai, it's made clear that Yan Wushi traded Shen Qiao for his former sword not because of any fondness for the sword, but precisely for its rhetorical value in breaking Shen Qiao: look at you, you're worth no more than a sword I don't even care to use. Yan Wushi came to Bailong Temple deliberately looking for Shen Qiao in order to betray him, but if we take him at face value, he wasn't completely resolved to do so until Shen Qiao made the mistake of calling him his friend

and you know, I think there are multiple valid interpretations here. all of this is still 100% compatible with Yan Wushi's project of breaking Shen Qiao--all of the friendliness, the companionship, just preparing Yan Wushi to drive the knife deeper into Shen Qiao's back. 众叛亲离 is the chengyu that comes to mind--betrayed by the masses, abandoned by those closest to you; Yan Wushi might be one of the last people Shen Qiao has left in the jianghu right now (though "has" is questionable), so he deliberately and cruelly weaponizes Shen Qiao's trust in a brutal lesson

or, alternatively, Yan Wushi came with the intent to kidnap Shen Qiao and betray him, but Shen Qiao's speech earlier about being friends shook him so fundamentally that he felt the need to call it out. I do think it's worthwhile that Yan Wushi specifically targets 'friendship' in his lines--this 'friendship' is the accelerant in Yan Wushi's betrayal, this 'friendship' is precisely what Yan Wushi is rejecting, thoroughly and definitively. because friendship is trust, and trust is a knife in the hands of someone you turn your back on, and while Shen Qiao believes that there are people in the world you can willingly hand that knife to, Yan Wushi believes that there are none. this goes all the way back to their fundamental disagreement, the scientific experiment of Shen Qiao, the most foundational theme of this novel

so is there a version of the story where Yan Wushi was so alarmed at the very possibility that he could have a friend, not a disciple, a friend, not a grudging ally, an actual friend that he promptly stabbed potential friend in the back? yes. absolutely. I 100% buy Yan Wushi being enough of a disaster in denial to do that

is there another version of the story where Yan Wushi remained completely unmoved by Shen Qiao's trust and overtures of friendship? yes, absolutely. I 100% buy Yan Wushi being enough of a cold-blooded, cold-hearted character to do that (that's what his character arc is for, and ho buddy it’s coming for him with a five-sided vengeance)

whichever version you prefer is up to you! once again, I love how tantalizingly opaque Meng Xishi made Yan Wushi, so I'm having a grand time bouncing between interpretations as the mood moves me

[beautifulterriblequeen]

B2:S - Chapter 5

Much of this series will be about the differences and additions in the novel version, and how they contribute to my understanding of story canon. But there will be character appreciation, the odd theory and headcanon, and suchlike as well.

Here be lots of Viren deets, Best Boy Soren deets, some writing/continuity stuff, worldbuilding appreciation and half of a theory, Detective Rayla, Moon Temple geeking, Claudium and dark magic, and more!

Spoilers for Book Two: Sky below.

(I know for darn sure that I wrote up a post for chapter 4, but I can't find it anywhere so I guess Tumblr ate it and I'll have to redo it at some point, but today is not that day)

Viren, my evil dude, my bad guy, coming in clutch with the worldbuilding and backstory again! If you want to know decades of information, you gotta talk to Viren. Or read his scenes, at least. Here, he seems to not sleep much when he has a big problem to analyze his way through. Solutions trump pretty much everything else in this guy's life, and he's had a really hard week with a lot of new and complicated problems. Of course he's getting sleep-deprived trying to find his way through them all.

Harrow put so much trust in Viren when he made him High Mage! He just threw himself extra hard at that Lady Justice blindfold, didn't he? Didn't really want to see what Viren was doing in his magic study, so he left Viren to his devices. And Viren has a lot of devices.

Also, this is fascinating: Viren made the secret passage to his "less official study" in Katolis Castle! And he was inspired to do so by the way his own mentor kept the Puzzle House. What else could a Puzzle House be, except a place with secret passages? Yay! secret headcanon that "the Puzzle House" is just "Katolis Castle" from Kid Viren's perspective tho

So either Viren built all of those passageways, or at least the ones to his dungeon. Which means he has to have, or know where to get, a stash of those glowing blue Moonshadow crystals. Hmmm.

I can't wait to learn more about Kpp'Ar and young Viren, btw. From this description of Viren and all his literal secret ways, it feels like another parallel between Viren and Runaan, with the whole "secretive paths, members only, insider knowledge" type stuff. Only the really cool members of this cult club get to know the secrets, and guess what, kid, you're cool now but you can never tell anyone, okay? Our secret.

Yeahhh, that'll never backfire in any way for either of them.

Kpp'Ar calling puzzles and secrets "man-made magic," though. Yes sir, knowledge is indeed power.

This chapter mentions Runaan by name, from Viren's perspective. Generally that would imply that Viren knows his name, even though assassins do not share their names, and Runaan didn't seem to give his to Viren in the first book. However, there was a scene in book one where the last paragraph switched perspective from Viren to Runaan - a technique that's very common in visual media like movies and shows and gives you that "ohoho they left the room and didn't notice this, but you do!" vibe. Using Runaan's name there in book one, where Viren couldn't see it but readers could, helps them keep track of the assassin's story arc while maintaining Viren's racism.

So in book two, in which Runaan has no onscreen scenes (alas), using his name in a scene that calls back to the events in book one helps us remember what happened in that dungeon cell. It would be a bit muddier to recall the specifics if Viren kept thinking about Runaan as "Elf." So I'm cool with the perspective nudge because it serves a narrative purpose: clarity. But I'm also enjoying the angst of considering that, somehow, Viren learned Runaan's name either during or after the coining spell. Mwa ha ha haaa. (Obligatory "Keep my pretty name outta your mouth" goes here)

Okay, back to Viren's scheming! He took the mirror because it was human-sized in a dragon lair. He knew it didn't really fit there, and that made it interesting, so he stole it. But he realized it was really powerful when Runaan wouldn't tell him squat about it - the assassin's instinct to protect Xadian secrets from human hands meant that Viren was holding a very powerful Xadian secret. And that just made him want it all the more. Ah, Runaan, if only your relationship with lying was, like, the exact opposite of what it is. Nyx could've spun Viren a believable tale in 2 minutes flat.

Also of interest: Viren considers his cursed coins to be a final fate. He expects Runaan to remain in his coin forever. With the Chekhov's coins still extant in the storyline, we can assume that they'll come up again eventually, but Viren has no current plans to do anything with his elf money except carry it around.

It's worth noting that Viren admits that he got impatient when he trapped Runaan in the coin. Runaan's first fate in Katolis was supposed to be death at Soren's hands, but Claudia "saved" him from that. His next fate was to become spell components, but Viren's frustration with his stubbornness "saved" him from that fate, too. So now he's in a coin, where no one can chop him up at all. Yay? No, boo!

We get one last line about Runaan before Viren shifts gears: he makes a point of noting for us that Runaan's shackles are still locked shut. However much of Runaan made it into that coin - body, soul, hair care products - he was magicked there, pulled right out of his restraints.

The creepy black liquid that Viren pours right into his eyes is the last of a powerful potion he got from Kpp'Ar, and its recipe is ancient! Humans used it back in the age of Elarion to see through the illusions of the world. And we get a delightfully creepy bit of description about the preparation of this serum, which makes it abundantly clear that it's a Moon magic-based concoction, harvested from eyeless vipers on a moonless night, with the threat of irrevocable madness ("madness" by whose definition, though) if it's done wrong-

Hang on. Hold up. This is a Plato's Cave reference. OH MY GOD.

No no I'm fine, this is brilliant. Sorry, sorry, I couldn't figure why there was so much description for a potion prep that Viren didn't even have to perform himself. But now I get it. I see the light. HA. I should make a separate post for this, it's amazing.

Anyway, for reference, the humans who used this serum were called the Oracles of Ophidia, and Ophidia is a taxonomy group that includes all modern snakes. Can you say "creepy ancient snake rites"? I can! Woo!

Viren activates the serum with a spell, but apparently he's never done it before. He's not sure if it's supposed to be hot and bubbly, and he worries that it's been tainted by moonlight.

Oh, I do hope so.

The magic potion hurts, a lot. Viren will do just about anything, to himself or anyone, to do what he believes is necessary. He just risked madness and blindness to find out what this mirror does! Viren. Can you just. Take a nap or something. Have a Snickers.

This chapter gives us a fun clue that I don't remember from the show: when Viren's vision clears and he can see, his reflection has white pupils and the room reflected in the mirror has inverted colors. You know where else has inverted colors?

You know who else got white pupils for a hot second?

Okay, now it makes sense! Viren and Lujanne were both seeing into the realm beyond life and death. Him with his moon magic potion, and her with her moon powers on a full moon night at the Moon Nexus. Which is Very Interesting! Is it a direct hint about Aaravos's location, or just a separate cool detail? Orrr, does it look like a direct hint because Aaravos is actually trapped in the world beyond life and death, but it's actually separate and we'll see something about white pupils again later on?

Viren really does have self-esteem issues, we all picked up on it with his rant at his reflection. He throws a fit when he catches himself wondering if he's actually worthless. In the book version of his tantrum, he shoves the mirror and hurls a candelabra instead of flipping a table. He didn't need to shove the mirror to set the fire, but it's in here. Foreshadowing that perhaps, if push comes to shove, Viren will choose himself over Aaravos? Giving Aaravos time to peek through and see that the coast is clear?

Soren, my boyyyyy. He has a rough night at the Moon Nexus because two sides of him are fighting with each other. He struggles to understand Callum's friendship with Rayla, and he also fantasizes about chopping off Rayla's head. One of these is a pretty ordinary thing to do. The other is Soren's internalization of what he needs to do to gain his father's approval. If he brought his dad a chopped off elf head every week, he'd probably feel a lot more confident because Viren would praise him a lot more.

Okay, okay, omg, is it just me, or does the "Moonshadow Madness" story, as it's told in the book, seem like Soren just doesn't know what a monsterfucker is? He thinks an elf bite puts humans under a spell. But vampires are sexy, and some people want them to do more to them than just bite them. A passionate kiss under the moonlight could look very bitey, especially if one of the participants has horns and you're already culturally trained to hate them. No yeah, I'm already headcanoning an actual human-elf kiss that got misunderstood by an observer long ago.

it's Lujanne isn't it, we all know, because what is a love spell but a sweet soft illusion, I mean how else does she get supplies for her Caldera, I ask you, and also Corvus was totally sent to investigate once and he told Soren at camp what he saw

And then back to magefam angst: Soren pretending that his sister's nose-tapping is stupid, even though he actually thinks it's cool, just because their dad thinks it's stupid. Viren, istg. Let your kids like harmless things. It's so cute that Soren taps his nose back at her, though! Like they have their own sibling code. I hope we get to see the nose tap again, especially now that they've chosen different sides. It could mean so much, that they're not too far apart yet.

Rayla knows what buttery pancakes smell like. I love this. Do Moonshadow elves have butter and pancakes, does Rayla eat a stack of eight giant pancakes in the morning? Orrrr it is just illusion food? I don't care, let Rayla have pancakes! Everyone loves pancakes. Pancakes will save the world. this message brought to you by the fact that I can't eat pancakes rn, send help

I love that Rayla is both sus of the pancakes and hungry, and that combines into a very motivated "I will get to the bottom of this" attitude. She kind of goes into Poirot Mode when she inserts herself into Soren and Ellis's conversation about Ava, explaining about the wolf's illusion leg and segueing into her claim that the pancakes taste sus. Claudia confirms she used dark magic, and Rayla is furious. It's different than the show's version in that it puts Rayla in detective mode, as the only Moonshadow elf in the scene, and boy does she take that role seriously. Also, she doesn't actually swallow the dark magic pancake bite. It ends up on the ground just like Lujanne's grubs from that earlier meal. These poor kids are so nutrient-starved. You guys gotta eat!!

Rayla's determination and prejudices and the fact that she super knows Harrow is dead all dovetail to make her try repeatedly to persuade Callum that Soren and Claudia are Not To Be Trusted. It's nice that the book keeps taking the time to point out that Rayla is Well Intentioned But Flawed, just like Callum and pretty much every other character in the show. No one is Right All The Time, no one Knows More Than Everyone Else.

Callum loving the sound of Claudia's unique voice is so wholesome. When you like someone, it only makes sense that you like all the things about them that they can't change - like the sound of Claudia's voice. Her choices with dark magic, not so much!

Claudia seems to have the same concerns Soren does about Callum's relationship with Rayla, but she comes out and asks him. The inherent possession implied in "your elf" is interesting, though. Elves are not people to Claudia. They're enemies who can be disassembled for the magic inside them. So maybe more like robots than living beings, if she knew what a robot was. Maybe she heard Soren's "Moonshadow Madness" story and realized he totally missed the kissing implications - but she didn't, and now she's genuinely worried that Rayla could kiss Callum under a full moon and enchant him to do her will. Good thing it's only a half moon, then!

Okay, Callum nervously making a puppet hand and then not knowing what to do with his hands and freaking out about itching and moving and pointy elbows is such a ND mood. The sudden stress of knowing that someone else is noticing your existence and maybe you're Not Existing Right, amirite? Ugh, poor Callum.

The Moon Temple! Omg it's so pretty in the description! Made to be beautiful and useful, full of knowledge but also allowing light and life inside (butterflies and vines). Lujanne, when can I move in, please? Also, it's all the more angsty because Lujanne is the only one who gets to see this beautiful place, but it has lots of chairs and shelves and tables, and it was meant to be used by lots of people. :(((

Claudia knows some of the runes on the walls. She isn't in a hurry to copy the rest of them down or anything, either. Her spellwriting is very precise, and she's a skilled mage. Her father would have made sure she was aware of the dangers of drawing sloppy runes, as much as he made her aware of the dangers of doing dark magic wrong. And the whole point of dark magic is that it's easier to learn than primal magic. Claudia supports her dad and their shared knowledge and life path. She's not gonna go nuts over an elf library she can't translate.

Side note: Between Claudia knowing some Moon runes and Viren building a secret passageway and a dungeon and lighting it with the same blue crystals that Lujanne and Ethari use for light--and Claudia exclaiming that she loves ruins--I wonder once more if there are really Moonshadow ruins somewhere in Katolis, which Viren has found and looted. Father-daughter relic hunting trip, maybe while Soren is away at camp? Omgsh that would be so wild!

Callum out here having a Viren moment with his "I feel powerless unless I've got magic that lets me help" vibes. God. I love their complicated mirroring. One of the hard differences between them is that Callum is very sure dark magic is bad because you have to kill stuff and take its power to cast spells, and he doesn't want to be a person who kills and takes like that. The line he walks to be nice to Claudia on their tour of the Cursed Caldera because he likes her, while telling her that he doesn't want to do her magic, like, ever, is so fine that it might as well be a shifting shadow on the ground. It's a very fitting conversation to be having during the half moon, with its tricks and little white lies.

Callum being out of the castle and his comfort zone, having to deal with the fact that the Claudia he loves is not quite the Claudia who's chasing him down across the kingdom, but of the two of them, he's the only one with a problem with this.

They say that if you really want to get to know someone, you should spend time with them outside their comfort zone - in heavy traffic, with a small baby, taking care of a new pet, trying a new skill, following unfamiliar directions, etc. While the castle is familiar territory for them both, Callum's never really found his comfort zone yet, while Claudia is pretty comfortable with her growing skill set. The creepy part starts to kick in when Callum begins to realize that Claudia's comfort zone encompasses a whole bunch of stuff that seems like it should make her uncomfortable... but it doesn't. But that'll be for a future chapter!

[vintagedolan]

when koa gets in, is grayson rude to her ?? what’s his reaction upon seeing her ?

since this do be a concept train, I want to know what exactly Koa feels towards the twins. Does she know them? Des she know about them? I just know that initial meeting is going to be TENSE

(also angry Grayson is hot)

two: character profile

masterlist | request the next concept!

It only took Koa two days to unpack. She had 2 suitcases of clothes and personal belongings, and $300 worth of a haul from target down the street, which included only a few essentials. 

She was lucky enough to have found a three person apartment with one vacancy, which came with the advantage of it already being mostly furnished. The air mattress she bought would have to do in her room for now - she’d spent most her money on a desk.

Writers write, they don’t sleep anyways. 

She met her roommates, Harlow and Gabby. Harlow was from Kentucky, which Koa only knew from the KFC on the island back home. But she was sweet and friendly, and willing to help out wherever she could. She even gave Koa a ride to target, let her fill up the back of her honda with all of her purchases.

Gabby was born and raised in LA. And it was obvious. Her attitude, her superiority and her general lack of regard for anyone other than herself had Koa ready to call her out in the first day, but she held back, knowing she was in for the long haul. 

But that attitude made her even more nervous for her meeting at 11am the third day, in Encino California. Just the fact that she’d been given a gate code was enough to put a pit in her stomach. She wondered how stupid she would look, walking up to it instead of driving.

Harlow helped her find the right bus route, and it took a minute. And by a minute, she meant a fucking hour to plan it out, and a 30 minute bus ride to get close enough to the Dolan’s house to make the 20 minute walk the rest of the way. She missed the Hawaiian breeze, the trade winds coming in off the ocean to stave off the beating sun as she made the journey with her backpack hanging off one of her shoulders up all of the hills of the neighborhood.

By the time she made it to the house, there was sweat rolling down her back, soaking her shirt and making her question every life decision she’d made to get herself there. 

She typed in the code, and as soon as she walked through the gate her blood was boiling.

Five cars. There were five cars in the driveway, parked in two neat rows. The Tesla caught her eye first, plugged into its own charger in the garage.

She knew they had money. But fucking hell. The house itself was more subtle, didn’t scream rich in her face in twelve languages - from the outside anyways. 

It took her a moment to settle herself, to put a smile on her face. The Dolans, it seemed, where the type of people who showed up at the shave ice stand in Hawaii on vacation - not the ones who worked it.

But she’d known that. And she tried to remind herself of exactly how their wealth was going to work in her favor, for the sales of ‘their’ book, which would increase her cut. And so, she smoothed her frizzy hair as best she could and went up to the door.

She didn’t have to knock. Instead, the door swung open, a bright young woman standing there with a welcoming smile. 

“Koa?”

“That’s me.”

“Hi! I’m Adele, the twins assistant.”

Koa swallowed. Of course. Of course they had an assistant. Why wouldn’t they. 

“Nice to meet you.”

“Come on in, it’s hot out there.” Adele stepped to the side, revealing the interior of the house.

It was subtle. If Koa were to write it, she’d describe the warmth. It radiated from multiple centers - the neutral woods, the simple decorations, the dark appliances, the fireplace on the far wall, and the very tall, smiling man with a tattoo sleeve by the door. 

In the next paragraph, she’d talk about the cold. It came from one place, one specific spot in the living room. His back was half turned away, but his stiffness, his annoyance, radiated off his shoulders with less effort than it took him to breathe. 

Koa swallowed hard again.

“Hey, I’m Ethan. It’s nice to finally put a face with the writing.” His voice was as genuine as his smile, which he tried to make wide enough for the two of them it seemed. 

By process of elimination, she knew it was Grayson who stood up rather slowly and made his way over.

“I’m Grayson. Nice to meet you.” His voice was flatter than the mantle behind him. Koa smiled anyways.

They each held out a hand, and she prayed her palm wasn’t sweaty from her walk when she shook them one by one. 

Ethan pulled out a chair for her at the island, metal legs groaning against the hardwood.

“You want a drink?”

“Yeah, that’d be great actually. Thanks.” The formality tasted sour on her tongue. She told herself she wasn’t going to do this, wasn’t going to make herself out to be someone more professional than she really was.

But Grayson had her on edge. Even when Ethan sat down in the chair beside her with two glasses of water, Grayson stood tall on the other side of the island, arms crossed and strong brow furrowed. 

Silence filled the space with emptiness, and Koa drank her water, her rings tinkling against her glass. 

“So-” Ethan started, finally breaking the tension. “This meeting isn’t anything like crazy formal, we just kinda wanted to touch base with you, get to know you a bit and figure out exactly how we’re gonna do this.”

“Yeah, no that’s great. I’m down for that, that’s a good idea.”

“We’ve never even thought about writing a book really, so we’re kinda at your mercy.” Ethan’s laugh wasn’t loud enough to cover Grayson’s scoff. Koa watched him for a moment, analyzed him. He seemed tense, and angry, and sad all at once somehow. The tension in his jaw was sharp, but there was a fear in there somewhere that she could sense. He caught her eye, and she turned back to Ethan.

“Well, this is gonna be new for all of us I think. The thing about this is I’m not writing as me, I’m writing as you two. It’s from your perspective, it’s what you want to say. I’m just here to help you say it. So yeah, I’ll help guide you all in what you want in there and how to arrange it to get people hooked and into it, but-”

“Do you usually ghost write stuff for people?” Grayson leaned against the counter, shoulder broad and wide. Intimidating. The tattoos that peaked out from under the short sleeve of his shirt were delicate lines. Gentle. She looked at those instead when she spoke.

“Uh, no. This is my first time doing it formally.”

“So what do you write then.”

“My specialty is fiction. Novels.”

“Great. Fucking fantastic.” To Koa’s amazement, Grayson was laughing. Running his hands over his face and up through his long hair. Callous. 

“I’m sorry, is writing novels a bad thing?”

“No. But I’m not a character you get to make however you want.” He met her eyes then, the green of them so dark they looked brown as he stared at her. “I’m a person.”

“I figured that much out for myself. If you have an issue, I’m all ears.”

Even she was impressed with how steady her voice was. She clasped her hands lightly together and rested them on the island, the way white business men always did in movies, and stared him down. 

“Full disclosure, the book was more my idea, less Grayson’s,” Ethan chimed in.

“All Ethan’s, none of mine,” Grayson corrected. “Because I know how this shit goes. You’re gonna twist whatever you need to get a story together, make us tell shit we don’t want to tell and put it out for the world to read just to get your bag. And I don’t want any part of it.” 

It was Koa’s turn to laugh. “Well buddy, you’re giving me plenty of content to work with if I’m supposed to be building a character profile on you or whatever the fuck it is you think I’m here to do.”

“Uh-” Ethan barely got the syllable out.

“You know, most people would kill for this. This book will be everywhere, and you have a chance to tell the world something and actually have them hear it. Don’t throw that away so quick.”

Something in Grayson’s face changed, and it made her want to pull her words back out of the air. 

“Yeah, well I’m pretty fucking sure I’ve given the world enough of myself, but thanks for the offer.” 

With that, Grayson turned on his heel and walked out of the kitchen.

“Bro-” Ethan called out.

“It’s fine,” Koa muttered. 

“I’m sorry, really. He’s kinda going through it right now, there’s been a lot of stuff going on and he’s just worried. I’ll talk to him, we’ll figure out how to make this work.”

“Right.”

Ethan frowned. “Koa, I’m serious. I really liked your stuff, and I know you can write a kick ass book for us. I want you to, and he will too, I just gotta get him to get his head out of his ass.”

“Good luck with that one,” Koa chuckled, shaking her head. “I’m gonna go.”

“Okay. I’ll text you and we can figure out another time to figure out the details.”

“Sounds good. I’ll brainstorm some stuff.”

“Sick. Sorry, again, for all that. Drive safe.”

Koa put her backpack over her shoulder and climbed out of the chair, chugging the rest of the water in her glass, knowing she’d need it for her walk to the bus stop.

“Yeah. See you later Ethan. Like I said; good luck.”

[itsnothingofinterest]

I think this fandom needs more villainous Christmas content, and also we really need some light Villain content right now; so since the PLF were formed and Shigaraki was still with them for last Christmas, here’s what I headcanon Shigaraki & the lieutenants got each other during their tense first few days after the merger.

Shigaraki

He get everyone video games. And also personal consoles for each and every one of them. Now Hero Aca is 200 years in the future, but I’m gonna list specific games & series anyway and just say if it still exists, it’s the latest game from that series, if not, it’s something similar to that series. With that said, here’s what he got everyone.

Dabi: Doom

Toga: Assassins’ Creed

Spinner: Grand Theft Auto

Twice: Animal Crossing

Mr. Compress: Mario

Geten: Dark Souls

Skeptic: Professor Layton

Trumpet: Command & Conquer

Redestro: X-COM

Attitude after merger review: Good marks; no noticeable signs of favoring old friends over enemies turned allies. Good job hiding that animosity Tomura!

Dabi

He went to a book store and got everyone books; because they’re good gifts that still allow him the opportunity to knock everyone’s literacy skills by saying they should read more. It’s an important balance for him to strike, getting good gifts without appearing friendly in the slightest. Anyway, here’s the genres he got everyone

Shigaraki Edge action adventure

Toga: Romance

Spinner: Action adventure YA novel

Twice: Slice-of-life comedy

Mr. Compress: murder mystery

Geten: University-level math textbook

Skeptic: Sci-fi navel gazing

Trumpet: Political theory

Redestro: Suspenceful Thriller

Attitude after merger review: Would’ve been fine if not for that dig at Geten’s uneducated status. Try harder next year, please.

Toga

Reminiscent of her pre-quirk Christmases, she decided to make homemade gifts for everyone using whatever she had available. Which was a lot, actually, since she was not afraid to spend Redestro’s money on supplies. In fact she went out of her way to get the most expensive supplies available at every opportunity.

Shigaraki: A grim miniature carnival ground where action figures of All Might & other pros are tortured and mutilated.

Dabi: a miniature statue of him made out of platinum and then crudely painted.

Spinner: An origami model of Stain with a vast arsenal of origami swords.

Twice: a Hand-knitted toque just a bit to big for his head.

Mr. Compress: A collection of new masks in fancy paints.

Geten: A mountaineering pick-ax with a handle in his color scheme.

Skeptic: Just a piece of paper saying “I know about the neck snapping. I look forward to working with you.”

Trumpet: A Trumpet.

Redestro: A bust of his head made of solid gold and smiling his to-wide fake-y smile.

Attitude after merger review: Also docking points for a dig at a former adversary, and what’s worse is it wasn’t even in the form of a proper present. Also losing points for going out or your way to spend Redestro’s money, which granted, everyone else was doing too, but you were a bit upfront with it. Employ more subtlety next time!

Spinner

Spinner also got everyone video games like Shigaraki did; however he looked into indie games. Gotta support the little guys, y’know? That said, indie games 200 years in the future are nearly equivalent to AAA games now in all the ways that matter, so there’s not too much of a difference except it’s all spiritual successors, no franchises. Huge selection though, and there’s successors to everything so Spinner’s set.

Shigaraki: Metroid

Dabi: Mario Kart

Toga: Danganronpa

Twice: Rayman

Mr. Compress: Clunhouse Games: 51 Classics

Geten: Celeste

Skeptic: Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes.

Trumpet: Call of Duty

Redestro: Roller Coater Tycoon

Attitude after merger review: Full marks just like Tomura, as expected of his closest lieutenant. Excellent gifting Spinner!

Twice

Now that he has money, he just went on some Amazon-esque website and got the first thing he saw the reminded him of everyone. As such, his gifts are the most sporadic & random.

Shigaraki: A bottle of Kurogiri’s favorite wine.

Dabi: A quality pack of cigarettes.

Toga: Hairclips with characters from an anime she liked growing up.

Spinner: One of the spinning whetstone things for sharpening blades.

Mr. Compress: A new hat.

Geten: a pair of mittens.

Skeptic: Several Spools or wire + a pair of wire cutters.

Trumpet: A maintenance kit for trumpets.

Redestro: A $1000 donation to a quirkless rights movement in his name. (Can you tell he’s still mad about Giran?)

Attitude after merger review: Once more, major marks docked for taking a dig at an enemy-turned-ally that you can hardly even pretend is a proper gift. Once again; if you can’t do anything nice, be more sublet when acting mean.

Mr. Compress

He frankly wanted to see if he could get anyone into his hobbies, or at least get them something to remind them of him, so he robbed a magic store for magic trick-based toys & performance tools.

Shigaraki: One of those things where you saw your assistant in half (complete with saw).

Dabi: Those weird orb things that slid around your hand.

Toga: One of those boxes you have your assistant stand in and then stab them (complete with knives).

Spinner: Fancy deck of cards

Twice: Yo-yo collection.

Geten: Hula hoop

Skeptic: Semi-transparent Mirror

Trumpet: Bracelet things where you put one inside the other.

Redestro: Fog Machine

Attitude after merger review: Nearly full marks, but it is rather noticeable how League members got, on average, much larger presents than the MLA alumni. Still, the plausible deniability is worth something here. 

Geten

He just went to a store to get whatever he could find. He did not try very hard for the League. Or Skeptic & Trumpet for that matter.

Shigaraki: Santa hat

Dabi: Snow globe

Toga: Chocolate Bar

Spinner: Elf hat.

Twice: Bag of candy

Mr. Compress: a $20 gift card.

Skeptic: New tie.

Trumpet: A wallet.

Redestro: A Blue-Ray collection of a movie series he’d been meaning to see.

Attitude after merger review: Absolute lowest marks; the fact that he got bad gifts for fellow MLA members does not hide this fact as well as he may think it does.

Skeptic

Not really knowing enough about any of these guys enough to really think about what they want, but still wanting to show off; he hacked into the personal bank accounts of several heroes & famous figures and, using each one, got a ¥ 1 million gift card from this store franchise that doesn’t allow any kind of refunds.  Here are the corresponding accounts used to make each person’s gift (he did at least put thought into who each recipient might like to rob).

Shigaraki: All Might

Dabi: Endeavor

Toga: Best Jeanist

Spinner: Wash

Twice: Yoroi Musha

Mr. Compress: Edgeshot

Geten: Mirko

Trumpet: Some political opponent

Redestro: The HPSC president

Attitude after merger review: Both thoughtful and balanced between old & new partners, full marks for one of the last people you might’ve expected. Way to use that pride, Skeptic!

Trumpet

A rather materialistic fellow, he got everyone some new tech or item of convenience.

Shigaraki: An expensive watch.

Dabi: A temperature-controlled water bottle

Toga: A big make-up kit

Spinner: A nice suit

Twice: An Ipod.

Mr. Compress: A nice suitcase.

Geten: A mini-fridge.

Skeptic: A new laptop.

Redestro: A new phone.

Attitude after merger review: Full marks, I suppose, if only because he equally half-arsed it for everyone. Not even out of malice either, he just didn’t try all that hard for anyone.

Redestro

The richest of the lot: he also just got everyone some piece of technology/luxury rich person thing, with the difference that his presents were really big & expensive. He was rather invested in endearing himself to the new team.

Shigaraki: A kind of really big yacht, one with windows around the deck to keep people from seeing him. Imagine a cross between a yacht & a limo, actually.

Dabi: A stupidly big TV with like 10 different streaming services pre-paid on it. 

Toga: A self-driving car.

Spinner: One of those 4-wheeled dirt bikes

Twice: His very own mountain lodge.

Mr. Compress: His very own hot tub.

Geten: His own private jet, complete with a walk-in freezer installed in the back.

Skeptic: A warehouse & collection of those big data storage units; enough to back-up all the data his company had ever collected.

Trumpet: A new van

Attitude after merger review: Full marks and well earned; because even if they weren’t always the most personalized, they were too high quality for it to matter. And for once the expense wasn’t a mark against him because he was spending his own money!

Final review: Toga got everyone the best gifts, with Twice taking 2nd place, because theirs were both thoughtful and unique. Even the non-gift to Skeptic & Redestro couldn't bring them below anyone else’s score. Everyone else sucks at this. 3rd place goes to Redestro though, because “money can’t by happiness” is a phrase that doesn’t apply to poor people.

[carriagelamp]

Since it’s Pride Month, I decided this year I wanted to raid the library for a bunch of different queer books to read. Mostly graphic novels in this case, because I’ve had a hard time settling into much reading lately... thought hopefully now that it’s summer and I finally have my second shot I’ll be able to relax a bit more and dig into some heavier novels again. For now, enjoy some light, queer reads that I indulged in this June.

A Wolf Called Wander

A beautiful novel I had been hearing lots about. This story follows the young wolf Swift, who grows up knowing that he and his pack are the mountains, and the mountains are them. It’s in those mountains that he grows and learns and loves… until disaster strikes and he finds himself viciously torn apart from his family and forced out of the mountains that have always meant home to him. Forced to survive on his own. Swift then begins a gruelling journey that makes him face injury, starvation, and the everpresent danger of humans as he seeks a new place he can call home, and new people with whom he can form a pack.

This is all based on the true story of a tagged wolf known as OR-7, following the unbelievable route he took through Oregon and northern California! It was a very neat read, and I’d definitely recommend it if you enjoy stories told from an animal’s perspective because this book is a master class in it.

Bloom

I decided for June to try to read a handful of different queer books, and this was one of the first graphic novels I picked up. It is a super sweet story and the art is lovely. It’s about Ari, a boy who has just graduated high school and is now desperate to move away from his small town and his family’s struggling bakery, to join his band in the city where they hope to make it big. An agreement is finally reached: Ari’s father will let him leave, if he can find someone who can replace him in the bakery, which is how Ari meets Hector, someone who sees artistry and peace in baking. For anyone that’s read Check, Please, it gives off those types of vibes!

Boule et Bill: Bill est Maboul

Another book of Dupuis comics, because I can’t get enough of them! This one I just stumbled across and ended up reading on a whim but it was very cute. Geared younger than the others I’ve read, but still quite funny. It’s the charming hijinks of a young boy, his dog, and the family they live with. Each page or so is a different stand alone joke, a bit like Calvin and Hobbes except expanded beyond a single strip.

Chicken Run: Chicken Pies for the Soul

This was a ridiculous urge I got and had to follow. I recently rewatched Chicken Run (which is, of course, one of the best movies ever made) and felt the need to see if it had ever been novelized. Well, I found something better than a novelization! This is a chapter book with “advice” and stories written by the various characters, post-movie. It really does a good job with grasping the different characters’ voices and making something simple and funny out of it. It was very cute (and available on The Internet Archive if anyone else feels like reading something ridiculous!)

Doodleville

I picked this up on a whim and honestly, I shouldn’t have bothered. It was not very impressive. Very mediocre, awkward feeling artwork, and a story that only slightly manages to redeem it. The concept was kind of neat, and I did like how the ending came about, the rest was rather… plodding. I did not like the main character at all, her friends felt very Intentionally Quirky Aren’t We Cute :3 in a way that just tries too hard, and… yeah. Meh. It technically gets the “queer graphic novel flag” but it’s so in-passing that it feels rather excessive to give it that.

If you are interested, it’s about a world were doodles actually exist as living creatures that can be drawn into existence (the rather unsettling implications of which is never fully explored). This is all well and good, until the main character draws a monster and takes it with her to her art club... where it begins ravanging not only her doodles, but those of her friends. Together they need to work together to figure out how to stop this menace.

FRNCK v4

Phenomenal. I adore the FRNCK series, and book four wrapped up the first “cycle”, revealing several of the big secrets dogging the series so far, and changing how things are going to be able to run in the future.

If you haven’t seen me talk about it before, FRNCK is a graphic novel (a franco-belgian bande dessinée) about a young orphan, Franck, who’s chafing under the constant parade of uninterested foster parents that visit the orphanage he lives in. Determined to learn about his mysterious abandonment instead, he flees the orphanage… but finds himself tumbling through time, landing among a family of cave-people who rather reluctantly take him in and ensure this modern boy doesn’t die in the strange, dangerous new surroundings he finds himself in. You can get these ones in English as e-books, so if you want a really kickass graphic novel series to read please try these.

Haikyu!!

I’ve heard so much about Haikyu!! that I finally gave in and picked up the first book from the library. And I gotta say, it’s well worth the hype! This series really does capture the best parts of a good sports manga -- which is to say the team is filled with interesting, enjoyable character who all need to learn to pull together, boost each other’s strengths, and cover for each other’s weaknesses. Love me some found family tropes and this series oozes it in the best possible way. And then you also get some very cool action scenes as it makes high school volleyball seem like the most intense thing on earth. I can’t wait to continue it

Queer Eye

I haven’t been keeping up with Queer Eye but I was watching it ravenously when it first came out, and this seemed like a very cathartic book to read… and it really was. It had the same gentle, loving encouragement as the show. It doesn’t expect you to change your entire life, but to learn to embrace who you are, and take small steps to enhance those things. There a segment written (presumably) by each member of the Fab Five, explaining the mentality behind what they do on the show and how you can grow in those areas too. It’s very zen.

Spinning

I got this graphic novel out at the same time as Bloom, but it was the one that interested me less of the two... though that’s just because I have less interest in “real world” slice of life as a genre and this one is meant to be autobiographical. If you’re into that, you’ll probably love this because it really is stunning. Very pretty, and the format and pacing is all really well done. It’s a coming of age story for Tillie as she grows up dealing with a crosscountry move, complicated friendships, a burgeoning attraction to girls, and attending competitive figure skating classes.

This Place: 150 Years Retold

A stunning and heart-wrenching graphic novel told by a collection of different First Nation’s authors/artists, recounting oral histories about the 150 years since the colonialist formation of the country known as “Canada”. In other words, this is a post-apocalypse story, but one that really happened and that entire peoples are still fighting to survive. It’s very eye opening and beautifully told. Very strongly recommend the read, especially if you’re at all interested in history.

Torchwood: Serenity

Whoops, not technically a book. I had thought these were technically audiobooks at first, but rather they’re audio dramas that were played on the radio. Still, I decided to include one because I’ve been listening to them like a person possessed and they’re too fun not to at least mention. Let me indulge in my obsessions.

If you don’t know Torchwood, it’s a BBC series that spins-off from Doctor Who, focusing on the enigmatic and flirtatious Captain Jack Harkness, who is running the covert organization known as Torchwood, which is tasked to protect humanity from and prepare them for alien contact. It’s goofy and campy but also more adult and heavy than Doctor Who tends to get, so it is (in my opinion) a really fascinating series. Though it also has content warnings coming out the wazoo so maybe make sure it’s for you before delving in.

Serenity specifically is possibly one of the best Torchwood stories I’ve ever experienced. The Torchwood team concludes that there’s an undercover alien hiding in the idyllic gated community Serenity Plaza, and so that means it’s up to Jack and Ianto to go undercover as a happily married couple and flush out the alien without being discovered first. Even if it means being sickly sweet together, pretending to care about the local neighbourhood barbecues, and actually caring a bit too much about the Best Front Lawn competition. What is truly magical about this one, is that it manages to make it a Fake Dating AU despite the fact that Jack and Ianto are actually dating in canon. But they’re both used to dating as a pair of alien hunters with insanely dysfunctional lives, and who now need to figure out how to deal with domesticity. It is marvellous.

Wilderlore: The Accidental Apprentice

A middle grade novel that felt a bit like a cross between Harry Potter and Pokemon. It’s about orphan Barclay Thorne who wants nothing more than to be accepted in the rule-bound village of Dullshire, and live up to his apprenticeship as a mushroom farmer. He certainly wants nothing to do with the fearsome Beasts who live beyond the village, deep in the Woods or the sinister Lorekeepers that bond with them. It was, after all, a Beast that had killed his parents all those years ago. But when he finds himself at the very edge of the forest, hunting for an elusive mushroom, he is suddenly unable to avoid any of that. Not when a wild girl and her bonded dragon appear to summon a horrible Beast and end up getting Barclay bonded to it instead. Now, if Barclay ever wants to be welcomed back into his home, he has no choice but to venture into the Woods and find a way to sever the bond imprisoning him to the massive, monstrous wolf now imprinted on his body as a living tattoo.

I honestly can’t decide how I felt about this one. I feel like it’d be a really fun read for maybe a grade 5 to 7 student? I was a bit more meh about it. It was fine, but it was very hard not to draw unfavourable parallels to Harry Potter. But for a kid who’s never read Harry Potter? Or even an adult that has but is looking for something different to scratch that itch, this might be a good book to try. I’ll probably try reading the second book when it comes out.

[yilinglaozu]

hello from legend of fei anon! I still haven't been able to watch the final episodes but I was thinking about zhou fei (as usual lol) and how nice it is that her mannerisms and clothing are not very feminine. I crossdress so I hardly ever see people like me in media and even tho zhou fei isn't actually gender non conforming, she still isn't as feminine as the other women characters, and it's so good that the women never judge each other based on how they present! I was worried when she and chuchu first met bc I thought they might do the "feminine and not-feminine girls hating each other" trope but they're friends and care so deeply for each other. tbh it annoyed me when zhou fei had to wear the yuyi troupe clothes, I understand this would have been hard to do bc of censorship but I was hoping xie yun would give her His clothes, so she could be comfortable, then He could wear the yuyi troupe dress! idk if you have read the manga "princess jellyfish" or the graphic novel "prince and the dressmaker", but in both of those, the main characters are girls who are not very feminine and their love interests are boys (or nonbinary, they don't say specifically but you could interpret it that way too) who wear women's clothes and love pretty dresses.....this is what zhou fei and xie yun deserved. Let Xie Yun Wear Pretty Ladies' Clothes

hi again!! no worries, I just hope you enjoy it when you get around to finishing the show! oh that makes me happy, even though it’s not the exact same thing I’m glad you still get some kind of representation through those aspects of her!! I really love how they just show all kinds of different female characters and the way they’re all valid and strong and interesting in their own way, like chuchu isn’t any less of a badass character just because she doesn’t fight like a’fei does and a’fei encourages her to learn what she can regardless of the level of skill she’s gonna be able to achieve. similarly a’fei isn’t any less for being less feminine and I kinda like how the show keeps emphasising that starting with when xy went to buy her a new sabre and the dude being like “girls don’t like sabres” and he’s just like well I know my girl and she likes sabres so. suck it

gotta be honest, I don’t think I ever worried about them pitting chuchu and a’fei against each other but I can see how easily they could’ve done that and yeah i’m glad they didn’t, their relationship is so nice and I love the sheer amount of trust between them like I can’t believe chuchu met her and from then on just said I will trust no one but her actually <3

omg xie yun in the yuyi troupe outfit is something I didn’t know I needed?? he’d do it for her at first but he would rock those robes and probably end up loving it. I bet he’d tease a’fei asking if he’s prettier than the yuyi troupe girls and she’d be very flustered cause well. they’re all very pretty and now she’s forced to think about it

[septembercfawkes]

Understanding the Mirror Moment

The first time I heard of the "mirror moment" I cringed--because the only "mirror moment" I knew in writing, was the very cliche, often touted as a no-no, mirror moment in the opening of a book, where the protagonist stares at her or himself in the mirror to describe her or his appearance. This is frowned upon for several reasons that would be better saved for another post (and yes, all rules can be broken).

Luckily THEE mirror moment is something totally different! It's a moment that comes right at the middle of your story (aka, the midpoint) and doesn't actually require anything close to a physical mirror. This is a term coined by best-selling writer, James Scott Bell, and it's his version we are here to talk about today. (Sorry other "mirror moment"--I'll save you for another post).

Midpoint Ambiguity --> Specificity

The mirror moment is a component of the midpoint.

Now, I gotta be honest: There are several different definitions of what a midpoint is and what happens at it.

The first definition I was introduced to, was that the midpoint was where new information entered the story to provide more context for what is actually happening in the plot--it gives the protagonist a "bigger picture" of the events that are going on.

This in turn leads the protagonist to move from a reactionary state to a pro-action state, or in other words, it moves them from wandering around to becoming more of a warrior and fighting antagonistic forces more aggressively.

I did a whole post on that midpoint concept here. And I was first introduced to it by Larry Brooks in Story Engineering.

Another school of thought on the midpoint is that it is a seeming victory or a seeming defeat for the protagonist. They either seem to get what they want, when they really haven't, or they seem to lose their heart's desire, when they really haven't. This is how Blake Snyder views midpoints in Save the Cat!

Personally, the more time goes on, the more I think both definitions are right. So these days, I prefer to combine them together:

The midpoint is a significant event and/or revelation that is either a seeming victory or a seeming defeat for the protagonist. It provides a broader understanding of what's actually happening in the plot, enabling the protagonist to become more proactive in their goals.

The midpoint almost always happens right in the middle of the story.

And it pivots the story into the second half.

If you are newer to story structure and still feel like you don't understand what a midpoint is and what it looks like, no worries, you'll still be able to learn about the mirror moment and implement it.

If you want to understand midpoints better, you can find more info on them here, here, here, and here.

What is the Mirror Moment?

The mirror moment is the moment the protagonist moves from reaction to pro-action (typically), on a deep, personal level, and it happens on page.

See, James Scott Bell also noticed there were different schools of thought on what happened at the midpoint: "I was never clear on what that thing was, because there’s conflicting advice on it, and some of it’s vague. So I set about to see if I was missing anything."

As Bell researched the direct middle of several books and movies, he realized each midpoint had the same moment (and shared it with us in his book, Write Your Novel from the Middle), an instance where the protagonist has to have a heart to heart with himself--where he is forced to look at himself in the mirror, so to speak--and reflect on who he is and who he needs to become in order to succeed:

"He takes stock of where he is in the conflict and--depending on the type of story--has either of two basic thoughts. In a character-driven story, he looks at himself and wonders what kind of person he is. What is he becoming? If he continues the fight of [the middle], how will he be different? What will he have to do to overcome his inner challenges? How will he have to change in order to battle successfully?

"The second type of look is more for plot-driven fiction. It's where the character looks at himself and considers the odds against him. At this point, the force seems so vast that there is virtually no way to go on and not face certain death. That death can be physical, professional, or psychological."

It's also possible for the protagonist to have both lines of thought. 

Bell gives plenty of examples:

In Casablanca, Rick, drunk and bitter, puts his head in his hands in self-disgust, clearly wondering what he has become.

In Gone with the Wind, Scarlett looks inside herself and realizes she is the only one that can save Tara, and she wonders who she needs to become to do that.

In It's a Wonderful Life, Mr. Potter offers George a well-paying position in exchange for George giving up the Building & Loan his father started. George says he needs to think it over (a mirror moment), but soon after rejects the offer, because he realizes he can't become a man like Potter.

In The Fugitive, Dr. Kimble breaks down as he considers the odds against him.

Similarly, in The Hunger Games, Katniss accepts she will die--the odds are too great.

In a case where the odds are stacked against the protagonist, the protagonist may realize he or she needs to become stronger somehow to overcome them.

One of the amazing things about the mirror moment, is it often clues us into what the story is actually about, on the narrative level and/or on the thematic level.

Concerning Gone with the Wind's mirror moment, Bell explains, "That is the concept of Gone with the Wind. It's a story of a young Southern belle who is forced to save her family home."

Whether or not you fully grasp the other components of the midpoint, understanding the mirror moment can help bring clarity to the kind of story you are telling. It's an instance that pivots the story, from first half to second half. When you understand yours, you get a better grasp of what the first vs. second halves need to look like. This will help you consider how your protagonist is pre-mirror moment, vs. post-mirror moment.  

The mirror moment gets the protagonist on the proper trajectory to overcome his inner demons, flaws, weaknesses, or misbeliefs by the end.

Or . . . it might be a little different, depending on what kind of protagonist you are working with. If the protagonist has a negative change, then it sets him or her on the course to adopt inner demons, moral indecency, or misbeliefs by the end.

In some cases, the protagonist may choose not to become this new person or face these dire odds, which often will result in a tragedy.

And finally, I would add that a protagonist who is already positively steadfast may not do a big shift or flip, but will still become more proactive as she chooses to press on.  

Once the mirror moment is decided, the second half will test and prove it true. If the protagonist is resolving to become something more, then they need to show us by their actions (the "proaction"). We will need to test that resolve at the end of the middle (generally this is when the protagonist is faced with something especially painful and deadly). How committed are they to this journey? Normally, we need to see that they are all in by the last act.

Because how the protagonist changes or doesn't change is directly related to theme, the mirror moment is typically another signpost on the way to the true thematic statement.

You can learn more about the mirror moment, and how to use it to write your own story, in James Scott Bell's short book, Write Your Novel from the Middle.

[mithrilwren]

Fanfic ask game for procrastinating on writing, which as of this week is actually accurate, since I’m finally writing again! (or, more specifically, editing what I wrote two months ago so I can get back to writing.)

Tagged by @essektheylyss! Thank you, this is exactly the kind of activity my brain needed tonight.

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

72! I was hovering at 69 for quite a while, sad to break the streak haha

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

~550K, which is somehow both more and less than what I expected

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Many, lmao. According to my Ao3 (omitting any blanket tags) I’ve got 22 there, plus at least two more over on ff.net from back in the day, and probably a couple more just on Tumblr. Most of them I’ve only written one fic for, though. I think the only fandoms where I’ve written more than one are Critical Role (35), Supernatural (15), Haikyuu!! (3), The Exorcist (2), Dimension 20 (2), and Yu-Gi-Oh! (2)

4) What are your top five fics by kudos?

Pick a Number, Any Number

Surprisingly, my number one is NOT a Critical Role fic, nor is it even one of my longer multi-chapters! It’s actually a one-shot I wrote for Haikyuu!! back in the day that took off far beyond what I expected. I wrote it for DaiSuga week, which was a ship I (to be completely honest) wasn’t even terribly invested in, but I had a fun idea and people seemed to like it! (It’s also much fluffier than what I usually write, which might be part of its broader appeal ;))

A Winter’s Ball

Unsurprisingly, the next four are all CR ;). This one was a M9 x VM crossover that I primarily wrote between the hours of 3-8am over the course of two insomnia-wracked nights and honestly, I think it shows in its uncharacteristically unstructured format (compared to my typical style, which tends to favour shorter scenes with very intentionally-placed breaks between, as opposed to scenes that flow into each other without pause). That’s not to say I think it’s a bad thing! The story, which follows Beau as she drifts through a party in Whitestone and observes the interactions between the various guests, actually flows better without that kind of interruption. This was also my first Beaujester piece. I started writing it right before Beau’s confession aired, and published it the week after, which definitely pushed me to make what had been only subtextual in the first half of my draft into the emotional lynchpin of the story.

Only the Nightingale Sings

I’m really glad this one still ranks as high as it does, because this story is absolutely my pride and joy. At one time (though I’m not sure that’s true anymore) it was the longest gen fic in the fandom, which is pretty cool! Plot-heavy, twist-heavy, angst-heavy, with seven points of view to follow and multiple interwoven storylines, it was a beast of a thing to write, and took almost exactly a year to finish, but the long process was oh-so worth it. Literally nothing makes me happier today than seeing a new comment or kudos on this story.

Closer Still

One of my earliest shadowgast fics, this one asks the question “how can you make the ‘stuck in an elevator trope’ fantasy?” The answer is, as always, demiplanes. This fic, perhaps more than any of my other shadowgast fics, is interesting to revisit, because it was written before the ep 97 reveal, but literally everything Essek does in it would suggest otherwise. It reads like I already knew he was a spy working with Trent, and yet I was firmly in the “Essek is NOT the spy” camp at the time. Gotta chalk that up to Matt telegraphing his growing guilt into the preceding episodes - even if I couldn’t see it, it was clearly there.

your dust from mine

My other novel-length CR multichapter, this fic brought me so much joy in the otherwise bleak summer of 2020. Most of my best memories of those four months come from working on this story. A Fjorclay adaption of The Goose Girl (my favourite fairytale) this story is about healing, growth, and figuring out what happiness means to you. While I know most people don’t read stories for this pairing anymore, for obvious reasons, I still cherish your dust from mine for how much of my heart I poured into it, and I look back on it with a huge amount of fondness.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do my absolute best to respond to every comment someone leaves on a story of mine, even if it occasionally takes a month or two. Replying to comments is one of my favourite parts of the fic-writing process - it gives me a chance to revisit peoples’ kind words and (often, incredibly insightful) observations, and I hope it also shows how appreciative I am of each and every one. 

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Though I write a lot of angst, I honestly tend more towards bittersweet endings than straight-up sadness. The only one I can really think of is What You Own - mind the tags if you follow the link, this is definitely one of the gnarlier things I’ve written for CR - whose ending is, admittedly, bleak. But this story so far removed from canon that I don’t think it’s the kind of angsty ending that lingers with you, as much as it packs a punch and then lets you go on your way.

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I tend to enjoy thinking about crossovers moreso than actually writing them. I’ve brainstormed a few, but none have ever made it much farther than the first page.

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

A few times! Not often, thankfully. Only one time in particular really sticks out to me, mostly for how it rocked my confidence in a way that I don’t think any comment could now, since I’ve had a few more years to build up faith in my own writing.

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Very, very occasionally.

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not! 

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Oh man, back in the Glee days... yeah. Yeah, I have. Nothing that ever got published, though ;)

13) What’s your all time favourite ship?

Not sure I have one! Ships come and go with the seasons, and sometimes they’re best left in the era you found them.

14) What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

The Shadowgast figure skating AU. It’s never going to happen, but I wish it had.

15) What are your writing strengths?

I would say probably structure, in terms of constructing narrative arcs and through-lines. I’m organized with my writing in a way that I am in few other areas of my life, haha. I’d also say my sense of place - I think I’m pretty good at constructing living, breathing settings and exploring how my characters interact affect/are affected by them.

16) What are your writing weaknesses?

I have a tendency to be wordy (which you might surmise from the length of this post, lol) and repeat myself, usually by going over emotional beats that don’t need the extra reinforcement. On the other hand, I tend to underexplain certain elements (particularly, important plot details in fic, and character motivation in original writing), which can lead to confusion.

A couple years ago I would have said dialogue, but I’ve put a lot of practice into it and I honestly think I’ve improved a lot, which is pretty cool!

17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I’ve never done it myself, and it’s not generally my favourite thing to read (like @essektheylyss said, it makes me hyper-aware that I’m reading words on a page, especially if I have to follow a footnote somewhere). That said, I’ve definitely also seen it used effectively, so I think it’s more down to whether it suits the particular story!

18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Yu-Gi-Oh!

19) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

As mentioned above, Only the Nightingale Sings.

[toorusbaby]

second choice, pt. 5

everybody say, “thank you, oikawa” <3

summary: being in love with hajime iwaizumi is like riding a rollercoaster of emotions. it’s thrilling as it is exciting, but you feel a little lightheaded... because he doesn’t know how you feel. the worst part? he thinks you’re in love with his best friend.

warnings: just pure fluff, oikawa cockblocks, slow burn, slight angst if you squint real hard

word count: 2,832

part six here

The chuckling had quieted down, the only sounds coming from the pond and occasional breeze. Green eyes watched you as you stopped toying with the navy blue fabric. Placing your hand back at your side, you lifted your gaze to look around. As expected, it was just you and Iwaizumi, who stood quietly with a thoughtful expression. Without missing a beat, realization had struck you. 

You always told yourself that you’d never ‘schedule’ your confession to the wing spiker; thankfully, you kept that promise. After all, embarrassing as it was, you chose to follow the cliche ‘right timing’ tactic you read about in countless romance novels. Assuming that you’d simply know when the timing was right, you weren’t absolutely certain you’d be able to tell specifically when that was. It was simply hope that you clung onto for the past two years. 

Looking at Iwaizumi, whose eyes were crinkled in delight when he spotted a baby koi fish, you finally understood how the main character in a romance novel felt about timing. Just the two of you standing on the bridge with the sun about to set, everything about the situation seemed perfect. 

When green eyes turned to look at you, suddenly everything made sense. Somehow, you could tell that this was the right time. This was the moment you’d been waiting for. 

“Hajime,” Your voice sounded unfamiliar to your ears, especially when you used Iwaizumi’s first name. Regardless, you refused to back down.

The look in your eyes when you looked up at him was different than what Iwaizumi was used to seeing. Your eyes usually held a warm cheerfulness behind them, even though they’d waver at times. The spiky haired boy, being one of your good friends, didn’t have trouble reading your emotions most of the time. Sure, there were instances when you were able to conceal your true feelings (much more than he could ever begin to imagine), but he often saw through the facade. 

Looking at you now, Iwaizumi noticed that your eyes didn’t waver once under his gaze; it was almost as if there was a fire that had been ignited behind them. He found himself straightening his posture when he realized you used his first name, watching as you took a small step closer to him. 

The distance between you and Iwaizumi had gotten even smaller, forcing you to slightly crane your neck to meet his eyes. The feeling of your thankfully gloved nails gently clenching into your palms reminded you to relax your stiff shoulders. Taking a deep breath, you opened your mouth to speak. Iwaizumi didn’t look away once. 

“Um… thanks for coming with me, even if it was last minute. You didn’t have to, but I’m really glad you did,” you started. Your mouth felt dry.

Harsher winds began to increase and you pushed your hair out of your face, Iwaizumi instinctively moving to help you tuck strands behind your ears. You blushed at the action, quickly mumbling gratitude to the boy. The small shy smile that formed on the quiet boy’s lips encouraged you to continue. 

“I can’t remember the last time I laughed so much. Maybe when Oikawa showed up to the amusement park in those ridiculous plaid shorts,” you paused to giggle at the memory, Iwaizumi following suit. You cleared your throat. 

“But today was the most fun I’ve had in a while. And I’m happy that I was able to spend today with you.” The sound of your heartbeat echoed in your ears, your thoughts threatening to fall into shambles. Your nerves fought to take over, but there was no way you would back out now. You had to do this. It was for your own good. 

The sudden breeze did little to cool the burn of your cheeks much to your dismay, but your mouth didn’t stop moving. 

“You’ve always been there for me. I know I’m a lucky girl. Like… seriously. You’re an important person to me and you’re one of my favorite people. But as of right now, there’s something I want to— no, have to tell you.” 

Looking at Iwaizumi’s face, a person would have to be blind to not notice the red shade that dusted the ace’s cheeks. His pink tinted lips, a bit chapped from the cold, were slightly parted. It wasn’t only you who was a nervous wreck; Iwaizumi was anxiously anticipating your next words. 

Busy thinking of what to say next, you didn’t notice Iwaizumi gulp or the way his pupils dilated when he gazed at your small frame. The boy knew he was a bit clueless when it came to you, but he wasn’t stupid. Iwaizumi knew he could be wrong, but it sounded as if you had been preparing yourself for this very moment. Judging by the crimson shade of your cheeks and the way your hands fiddled with the ends of your sweater’s sleeves, a nervous habit of yours that Oikawa teased you about, Iwaizumi was utterly desperate for the possibility of a love confession to spill from your lips. 

The mere sight of his handsome face, the face you admired in both your dreams during the daytime and night, gave you the last small push you needed to reveal your feelings for the volleyball player. 

“Hajime,” you whispered his name once more, taking a deep breath. 

Your fingers stopped fiddling with your sweater. You stared Iwaizumi’s face, whose gaze flickered from your eyes to your lips. 

This was it. 

“Hajime, I’m in—”

The familiar instrumental tune of the Godzilla theme song suddenly blared, causing you to jolt and clutch at your chest in surprise. Iwaizumi himself had jumped in his spot before the vibrating in his back pocket brought him back to reality. 

“Fuck, Y/N, I’m so sorry,” he quickly apologized, eyebrows furrowing as he quickly pulled out his ringing phone that had interrupted the peaceful setting. A pang of disappointment flooded your chest at your confession being interrupted, but it couldn’t be helped. You simply nodded your head, clearing your throat when your jittery nerves began to relax.

Your confession had been cut off before you could even say the word love. With how Iwaizumi’s lips were parted however, you knew that the wing spiker had a gist of what you were going to say.

Iwaizumi was filled with embarrassment and guilt; whoever was calling him interrupted what you were going to tell him. Without looking at the caller ID, the blushing boy turned around and accepted the call. 

“H-Hello?”

“Iwa-chan, why didn’t you tell me you had plans with Y/N!? And why wasn’t I invited?” A very familiar shrill voice shouted into the spiker’s poor eardrums. 

Fury and annoyance had quickly bubbled in Iwaizumi’s chest; he could practically feel the vein sticking out of his forehead. 

“Why the fuck did you have to call me right now, dumbass? You’ve gotta be kidding... I was— no, we were in the middle of something. Your timing is shit!” Iwaizumi hissed into the phone and slapped his palm against his forehead in annoyance. The sound of your quiet giggles beside him had relaxed some of the ace’s built-up tension; it was as if the bulging vein disappeared from his head. Hearing Iwaizumi refer to the person as a ‘dumbass’, you were certain Oikawa was on the other end of the line.

Not caring about how hurt Oikawa claimed he was about missing out on ice cream with his best friends, Iwaizumi sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, shutting his eyes in the process. Meanwhile, you leaned against the railing and smiled as you listened to the volleyball player speak to his best friend. 

“Oikawa, you are a goddamn pain in the ass. Fine, okay. We can get ice cream another day. Huh? Yeah, yeah, whatever. Shut up, moron. I’m hanging up now. Don’t call me again, seriously.” The green eyed boy hung up the phone and shoved it into his pocket, placing one hand on the back of his neck before turning his head to face you. Embarrassment filled him to the brim and the pink shade returned to his cheeks and ears. 

“I’m really sorry, Y/N. I’ll beat his ass, I promise,” The spiky haired boy spoke and leaned beside you, secretly admiring the way his scarf adorned your neck. He wanted nothing more than to ask you to finish what you were going to say earlier, but refrained himself from doing so; it didn’t seem right. However, the boy had an inkling of what you were going to say… or confess. 

Love?, he wondered. I sure fucking hope so. 

There’s no other word that would make sense in that context, he thought. Iwaizumi didn’t know whether to feel upset at being interrupted by his best friend or elated at the possibility of you returning his feelings. If you even liked him, that was.

A genuine smile etched its way onto your face before resting your head on your palm. “Don’t worry about it, Iwa. It’s fine,” You chuckled and gazed at the water below, Iwaizumi doing the same, pouting at the koi fish. Fucking Oikawa, he clenched his jaw and sighed, shoulders sagging in the process. 

Judging by the way your focus was directed solely on the pond, Iwaizumi was certain you wouldn’t attempt to continue telling him what you wanted to say. Disappointment spread throughout the ace’s chest at the thought of you being embarrassed from the incident earlier. 

But for the first time in his life, maybe, just maybe, Iwaizumi would take the initiative and do something about it.  

༺♥༻

Minutes passed, the two of you engaging in conversation about the upcoming term next year. Both of you were visibly cold but neither of you said a word, secretly wanting to revel in the feeling of being with each other a bit longer. Iwaizumi had his head slightly tilted as he listened to you complain about upcoming final exams. Your side profile was strikingly beautiful to the volleyball player, even if your eyebrows were furrowed in annoyance at the mere thought of possibly failing the math exam. In the midst of your words however, the boy quickly turned his head and quietly sneezed before excusing himself. 

You yourself began to notice your cheeks going numb from the bitter cold of the November air. The sun, now hidden behind the clouds, was also on the verge of setting. Glancing at Iwaizumi’s now shivering frame, you realized the boy had given you his scarf and gloves. Guilt automatically consumed you. 

“Iwa, I think we should start heading back,” you said, referring to the train station. “You’re gonna get sick and it’ll be my fault,” You stepped away from the railing to take the gloves off of your hands in order to put them back on his. Before you could slip the garments off, Iwaizumi gently swatted at your hands. 

“Y/N, I swear if you don’t keep them on... I’m fine, I promise.” He reassured and shoved his bare hands into the pockets of his jacket. Knowing how stubborn Iwaizumi could be and the fact that you both were going to turn into human popsicles if you didn’t leave for the train station soon, you didn’t argue. “Fine,” you huffed, accepting defeat. “But we have to speed walk because I don’t think I can feel my face anymore.” 

After taking one last glance at the koi fish, you and Iwaizumi made your way to the park’s exit and down the familiar street. Thankfully, the station was only about a fifteen minute walk from the park. The two of you chatted about a variety of things, both of your shoulders brushing against each other as you walked; it wasn’t as if neither of you minded. 

When the white lights of the street lamps flickered on, you watched the ace bring his hands to his lips, quietly blowing heat into his palms. The sight of Iwaizumi trying to keep warm while you wore his gloves and scarf caused your guilt to multiply. It was about five minutes before arriving at the station when you stopped in your steps.  

Iwaizumi stopped walking, confusion evident on his face. His eyebrow raised. 

“You okay, Y/N?” 

Taking off the glove, you turned to gently lift the volleyball player’s right hand, sliding the garment back on him. An instinctive sigh of relief escaped Iwaizumi at the feeling of warmth that enveloped his numb hand, his protest for you to keep the glove on halted. The bitter cold air struck your now bare hand, but you couldn’t imagine the discomfort Iwaizumi must have felt ever since he lent you his gloves. How was it not snowing yet?

“I’m fine, but you aren’t. You’re gonna get sick, Iwa,” you scolded before moving to slip the left glove off. 

Before you could take the fabric off, the feeling of something calloused, yet soft, was wrapped around your right hand. Looking down, you realized that Iwaizumi had placed his bare, cold hand on top of your own. With widened eyes, you stared when the boy took the initiative to suddenly intertwine his fingers with yours. 

“Keep the glove on, I’m fine like this.” The volleyball player spoke, resting your locked hands down at your sides. Even under the darkening sky, the red in his cheeks was visible; you didn’t look any different. You swallowed, your legs moving only when Iwaizumi began to lead the way. “Haji, why are we…” You trailed off, giving his hand a soft squeeze. You didn’t have to finish your question to get the question across. Although your left hand was the one wearing the glove, your right hand felt warmer. 

“The station might be busy,” Iwaizumi squeezed your hand back, his grip firm but gentle. “I just don’t want you getting lost or anything, that’s all,” he mumbled, his voice barely audible. One thing he knew for a fact was that he couldn’t make eye contact with you, at least not in that moment. 

The train station appeared in your sight, the area nearly empty with only a few people scattered about. Much to your dismay, your mouth moved before you could think.

“Huh… it’s practically dead in here,” you noted. Immediately, you pursed your lips together in annoyance. You inwardly cursed at yourself.

Y/N, for the love of God, shut the hell up. Do you want him to let go of your fucking hand? 

Much to your surprise, Iwaizumi’s grip on your hand didn’t loosen. With his eyes locked on the boarding area for the train home, the green eyed boy simply squeezed your hand once more before letting out a hum to let you know that he heard you. 

After purchasing the tickets, the two of you boarded the train and sat side by side, comfortable silence in the air. Regardless of being on the train already, neither of you let go of the other’s hand. The sound of the train moving along the tracks was enough to cause your eyes to flutter with exhaustion, but you were determined to stay awake. 

It was only until Iwaizumi wordlessly lifted his gloved hand to gently lay your head on his shoulder much to your surprise, when you allowed your eyelids to fall. Nuzzling your nose into the pine-scented scarf, the feeling of Iwaizumi’s thumb softly rubbing against your warm hand interlocked with his was enough to lull you to sleep.  

༺♥༻

“If your mom gets upset with you for being out all day, I’ll personally apologize myself.” 

Folding both arms behind your back, you kicked a small pebble out of the path of the sidewalk. You and Iwaizumi were currently walking down the familiar streets of the town, the boy insisting on walking you home since it was dark out. The train ride was a bit longer than expected, but time flew by since you were sound asleep... on Iwaizumi’s shoulder. 

Even though you had a memory foam mattress, it couldn’t compare to sleeping against the boy you were smitten with. If you could replace your mattress with Hajime Iwaizumi, you most definitely would. 

Twinkling stars in the sky seemed to illuminate the way to your house, the windows of some houses lit up from their dining rooms. It was a bit late in the evening already; were your parents still awake? The thought fled your mind when Iwaizumi chuckled, using both hands to lift up the bag of boxed desserts he had purchased earlier that day. 

“I told you, Y/N. My mom won’t be able to resist these bad boys.” He triumphantly smirked, patting the top of the box.

You let out a laugh, gently shoving the tall boy with your shoulder. “You’re such a dork,” Iwaizumi turned with furrowed eyebrows to stare at you, but you held both hands up in mock surrender. “But it's fitting!” You finished off with a mockingly sweet grin. Iwaizumi only jokingly told you to shut up before looking up ahead once again. He hoped you couldn’t see the grin on his lips. 

The boy knew he was smitten with you… but he didn’t mind one bit.

🏷️ taglist: @webkinzfroggie​ @isseikawa​

feel free to ask, dm, or comment to let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! <3

[pasiphile]

idk if this is something you've either a) ever felt the desire to talk about (if not, please excuse the curiosity!) or b) talked about before, but how do you go about writing your ep(f)ics? it's one of those things i've always been curious about because there's plenty of chat about how to start an original novel and plot it etc but usually a good chunk of those hypothetical word counts come down to character building, which is less relevant in fic. any thoughts?

I don’t mind at all! Especially because after writing four (five?) of these fuckers I finally feel like I got the hang of how I actually tackle them.

(that is, the general method. If you're asking about knowing what scenes to write/how to decide what actually happens, there I can't help you. Imo, that's just a case of having imagination)

First a caveat, though: I don’t write chronologically. I know people who do, and honestly it seriously impresses me, but it’s not something that I can do. If you can write chronologically, please do, because you’ll save yourself a lot of headaches. But if you’re like me and you just hop around...

So basically I start out with a vague idea. In Laws that was picking up after ACWNR and showing how they got from there to the point at the start of the series, for TVD it was I wanna show Moriarty’s pov for most of the series, and for the Untamed it was what if post-canon someone starts fucking around with the Yin Metal again. Basic, huge ideas, that give me a start, a middle and an ending.

This is also the point where some people outline. Again, if you can, great! do it! give yourself structure! I personally keep trying and it never works so I’ve given up, and try to keep track in my head instead.

Once I’ve got the basic idea, I basically just... start writing. By which I mean, more specifically, that whenever I have a bit of free time I retreat into daydream-land and start imagining things that might happen. Anything might be a jumping-off point there; a thing I read in another story, an interesting meta I read, a detail I saw in canon. Anything that fits the general storyshape. 

(A lot of those scenes start their life in the space before I fall asleep).

The trick after that is to get to a keyboard asap, before I forget what I actually had in mind, and write it down (this is also why fic fragments tend to show up in the notes app of my phone). Once I start writing those down, usually I go beyond what I initially thought of - they write themselves, in a way.

If you do that often enough, eventually you’ll end up with a critical mass of scenes. I do try to put those scenes roughly in the right place, chronologically, but that’s only an estimate. This phase two is basically one giant shuffle game: trying to see which scenes can follow on which, whether there’s a logical connection between them, and then cut-paste and adapt all over the place. 

I don’t actually edit in this phase, to be clear. I might put in a placeholder and a note if I have an idea what needs to show up to make two scenes link to each other, but I don’t go any deeper. At this point, you need a bird’s view on your story.

Once that’s in place, I start the hard work, which is taking those scenes and turning them into a coherent whole. Basically I just start reading at the start (of the story/chapter) and then run through the story as if I’m watching a series. The bulk of it has been written by now, so I now have room to write in the connective bits, the references to previous happenings, more internal thoughts and reflections...

And at the end of that phase, you’ve got something that resembles a (clunky, messy, occasionally weird) story. 

So then I reread. This is usually when the bigger things start showing up, the character arcs and relationship-building. Some of that is already present, but it isn’t until I’ve got the whole thing in front of me that I actually start seeing the patterns. I try not to edit straight in the text at this point (which is why I often put the file in epub on my ereader, so I don’t get tempted) and take notes about general trends. Detailed editing is later.

(sidenote: fanfic needs less character building than original fiction, but you still need character development. if you’re writing an actual long thing instead of series of vignettes or one-shots, the way the characters are at the start can’t be the way they are in the end. Something’s gotta change, both in terms of characterisation as in relationships, otherwise you’re just going to end up with a boring story.)

And once that’s done, the process starts over, basically. Based on the notes, I start writing missing scenes and shuffling around scenes again if needed, and while I’m at it, I also try to edit the more detailed things. Said editing process keeps going until right at the end: I line-edit in AO3 one last time, just before I post, with the chapter copy-pasted from words straight into the drafts there.

Is this an efficient, logical or neat system? Fuck no. But it’s the only one that works for me, and I’ve gotten some good results with it. 

It is, however, a rather intuitive system, because I know roughly how stories work, how tension and character building works etc. When I read, I tend to sense where it needs a cliffhanger, or a spanner in the works, or a big dramatic reveal. If you don’t have that sense (which honestly, I think you can only get if you read/watch/consume shitloads of fiction) you’ll need a way more structured approach - but those have never worked for me, tbh.

TL;DR

Phase 0: have an idea. can be as vague as you want, but try to know the beginning, middle and end of the story. 

Phase 1: just fucking write. give no fucks about writing ‘complete’ scenes, just put it down on the page, even if it’s just a dialogue fragment. try to put things roughly in the right place but don’t spend too much thought on that. Put all your energy into imagining things, and then scribbling them down as soon as possible before you forget them again.

Phase 2: shuffle. Move the scenes around until you’ve got an idea what happens and in what order. Don’t bother edting. Just try to get one coherent plotline going.

Phase 3: read-and-write. Start from the beginning and walk yourself through the story, writing as much connective bits and embellishing everything you can.

Phase 4: read-and-check. Read your story as if you were a reader, not the author, and try to see if it makes sense, what the characters’ arcs are, what the story tension is like, and what’s happening plotwise. 

Phase 5: Adjust accordingly, ie Rinse and repeat.

[shirtlesssammy]

6x21: Let It Bleed

Then:

Dean and Cas broke up

Now:

March 15, 1937

Providence, Rhode Island

It was a dark and stormy night, and HP Lovecraft sits at his typewriter clicking away. He finishes his manuscript, and his door slowly creaks open. He pulls out a revolver and heads to the hallway, but quickly backs back into the room and locks the door. A window blasts open and a shadowy figure is there. He pleads with it --but becomes blood cannon fodder anyway. 

Dean continues to dissect what could have gone differently to prevent his breakup with Cas. Sam tries being the logical friend --but there’s no explaining heartbreak, folks. Bobby comes in to tell them that when Cas popped in for his late night tet-a-tet with Dean, he stole a journal. But don’t worry, Bobby had a copy. 

Upon reading it, Bobby discovers a mention of HP Lovecraft. Dean doesn’t know who that is --and you’re going to tell me the dude that knows horror movies like the back of his hand and reads Stephen King doesn’t know who the father of horror is? And I know that Dean lies to cover up things he thinks other people would look down on him for, but this would be a weird moment to do that. 

Anyway, Bobby thinks Lovecraft knew something about purgatory. 

Meanwhile, Ben is chilling in his room reading Cthulhu graphic novels while his mom is watching the sportsball with her new beau. Demons bust in and gut the boyfriend right away. One takes after Ben. Ben gets to his room and calls Dean in a panic. He doesn’t know what’s out there and he can’t get to the shotgun in Lisa’s closet. Dean tells him to jump out his window. It’s too late --Crowley’s there and has both Ben and Lisa. 

Crowley tells Dean that no harm will come to them if he backs off from the purgatory plan. 

Sam throws some salt on Dean’s wound and asks if Cas knows about this. “We gotta assume that he does.” OUCH.

While Bobby heads off to follow the Lovecraft lead, Dean and Sam set to finding Lisa and Ben. They summon Balthazar and tell him that Crowley is alive. He blinks and tells them Cas already informed him. They then tell him about splitting the souls in purgatory plan. Balthazar knew that too, ahem. He refuses to help find Ben and Lisa. 

Sam thinks they should call Cas. “WE’RE NOT CALLING CAS.” This is a man in pain, Sam, he needs time. 

Bobby, meanwhile, interviews someone who possesses a large collection of Lovecraft’s private letters. He asks about March 10, 1937 specifically, and the dude wonders if he’s working with the other guy --”trench coat, looks like Colombo, talks like Rainman.” We’re supposed to assume he’s describing Cas, but ?? okay. They’re competitors actually.

The guy tells Bobby that Lovecraft had a dinner party with other blackmagic followers. They were getting together to perform a ritual to open a door into another dimension. He has --or had-- letters describing the dinner. Bobby leaves, knowing exactly how the letters disappeared. 

Bobby discusses the case with Sam, revealing that one guest of the party -the maid’s son- didn’t die and has been in a mental ward since that night. He’s gong to interview the man now. 

Dean, meanwhile, is lining the demons up and taking them down if they don’t answer his questions. 

For Murderous Rampage Science:

Sam tries to get his brother to take a break, but Dean is 100% on an emotional bender and will not stop. Sam then heads outside to pray to Cas --pleading with him to bring Ben and Lisa home. 

When Cas doesn’t appear, Sam walks away, dejected. Only Cas is there, invisible to Sam. AND I WANT TO TEAR OUT MY EYES. 

Cas confronts Crowley. Crowley was “merely exploiting the obvious loophole.” Cas demands he tell him where they are. 

Crowley tells Cas the only way to save Lisa and Ben is for him to find Purgatory. 

For Literal Science:

Cas flaps away when Balthazar summons him. They meet in a wooded area, and Balthazar confronts Cas about his partnership with Crowley. 

Balthazar confirms that Cas would be the vessel to take on the souls from purgatory. He could explode from all that energy. Cas assures him he won’t (weeps). Cas demands Balthazar tell him if he’s with Cas, and Balthazar laughs but agrees. 

Bobby interviews the maid’s son, and discovers Cas was already there. Bobby asks for the story. The man tells what was said at the time, but then asks, “Do you believe in monsters?” He tells Bobby that the door did open that night, and whatever came through took over his mother. Then the others died. Bobby gives his condolences to the man, and he shows Bobby a picture of his mother. Bobby recognizes her.

Dean prepares his Tortures for Demons™ when his foot drags part of the devil’s trap away. The demon immediately gets the drop on Dean, only for Cas to flap in (or turn visible) just in time to save Dean’s bacon. 

Dean’s...ungrateful. Surly, even! Cas apologizes about Lisa and Ben, and he’s hurt when Dean doesn’t believe that he had nothing to do with their abduction. 

“Dean, I do everything that you ask,” Cas pleads. “I always come when you call and I am your friend - still. Despite your lack of faith in me, and now your threats.” Cas is just asking for backup this ONE TIME. (And you know what? Knowing the crap these Winchester boys have pulled, I always felt like Cas made a good point here.) They lob soulful looks at each other. Cas promises to rescue Lisa and Ben if Dean will just PLEASE stand down and let him absorb every single monster soul EVER it’s NOT A BIG DEAL. This is entirely the wrong tactic, and Dean tells Cas to go back to Crowley and he’ll save Lisa and Ben on his own. 

Cas flaps away. Soulfully. 

Bobby arrives at Eleanor-the-Dragon’s door. She’s at a little cabin in the middle of nowhere - one of her safe houses. He confronts her with the old photo and demands to know her agenda. “You know, we’re not all alike,” she retorts. She reacts similarly poorly to Bobby complaining about sleeping with her without knowing she was a monster. BOBBY! WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT RIGHT NOW. She tells him that the world’s lucky that she’s who popped through the portal. The professor is on Team Earth. Bobby begs to know the secret of the portal so that he can protect her from Cas. 

Balthazar flaps in on Sam. He’s joining Team Winchester because he’s terribly concerned about Cas’s life choices. He flies them close to Crowley’s angel-warded lockup, and Dean and Sam swoop in to save Lisa and Ben. 

They split up inside the warehouse - always a sensible plan. Sadly, Sam “Soft Noggin” Winchester gets knocked out IMMEDIATELY. Sam plz. Dean bursts into Lisa and Ben’s prison like a little angry blur of knives and in short order, he’s killed all the demons standing guard. They start to flee, when Lisa holds Ben at knifepoint, her eyes flashing black. 

The demon goes all in on the mental torture, telling Ben that Dean’s his real father (JK!) and that Dean is Lisa’s WORST EVER MISTAKE. While Dean catalogues the internal damage, he and Lisa fight. He sheathes the demon blade and starts an exorcism, and I look directly at the camera. Demon Lisa’s got another trick up her sleeve. While the exorcism progresses, the demon grabs a tool and jabs it into Lisa’s gut. Then, she gives Dean a choice: exorcise her and Lisa bleeds out or let Lisa remain animate (but a demon puppet). Wrenchingly, Dean finishes the exorcism. 

He makes sure Ben’s armed with a salt-round shotgun and then they head out of the factory. Ben shoots his first demon while Dean shouts at him to “pull it together” and I...just…….

Guys.

I’m just going to box these feelings up and stuff them in my Dean Winchester is a Sad Child attic, while humming Cat’s in the Cradle to myself.

They find Sam and head for a hospital, Dean muttering the whole time that she’s FINE Lisa is JUST FINE she is FINE. Cut to the hospital where Lisa is NOT FINE, but also is not dead! Yet! 

Cas flaps in. 

Dean refuses his apology. REFUSES IT. But Cas didn’t come to apologize. Okay, he DID, but he primarily came to heal Lisa miraculously. Dean looks up at him like he completely forgot that Cas can heal. 

For Healing Cas Science:

In Jensen Ackles your face is a menace news, Dean displays grief, joy, relief, anger, betrayal, sad cat memes, and more in like less than five seconds of screen time. He thanks Cas for healing Lisa. “I wish this changed anything.” Regrets lie thickly between them. Dean asks for one more favor. He wants himself erased from Lisa and Ben’s memories for good. 

When Lisa wakes, Ben explains that they were in a car crash. Dean enters, and introduces himself as the guy who hit them. GAH. The shitty things these characters do!!! Excuse me while I hurl knives at the wall for a solid thirty minutes!

“I lost control for a minute,” Dean says, not AT ALL metaphorically about their time together. “And I just want to say that I’m sorry.” He heads out, leaving the Braedens entirely unprotected from future supernatural threats and missing a substantial chunk of their lives. Hope Cas also cleaned up Matt’s body??? And the busted door??? (Side note: does anyone else have weird squid emotions thinking about Cas willfully blanking their memories when his own memories have been tampered with time and time again? I SURE DON’T!)

Dean meets judgmental Sam back at the Impala. Sam, I see your judgment, and I judge thee valid. Dean talks about his emotions in an open and healt----hahaha nope. Dean tells Sam that if he ever mentions the Braedens to him then he’ll break Sam’s nose. He punctuates that with mournful, red-rimmed eyes which definitely deal at least 1.5X damage against Sam’s puppy eyes. They drive off into the sad music. 

Elsewhere, Eleanor Visyak leaves her cabin, only to encounter Cas behind her. Cas flaps her away. CAAAAAAAAS!

You QUOTE Miette??!!

Your chocolate's been in my peanut butter for far too long

What’s with the slow burn?

You’re just a man. I’m better off protecting myself

I’m officially on your team. You bastards

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