#now normally i'd say 'if you know me at least somewhat you might be able to guess' but. i typically avoid talking about it sdfgh

[moogghost]

sdfghhh i have like. a few hcs w my los that i wanna at some point share since i'm definitely less anxious about it now but i'm still like. trying to decide whether i just do it via edit, art, or writing

because i feel like while edits are fun it would not get enough out of what i want with that information bc it's unlikely i'd talk about it more unless asked about it, art is kinda ehhhhh because there's lots of ways i could go about it but there are other things i want/need to do first, and the writing. i actually have done some writing regarding one of my los w the hc in question it's just that i dunno when i'll finish it and also. not entirely sure if it's the best way to present that bit of information due to the medium

this might not make sense because i'm refusing to say further details than that until i figure that part out bc Anxiety Moment but i think once i do that y'all might be able to guess why figuring out how to do it was. a bit of a pain even if i am projecting said thing onto my los lmao

...that being said i might do edits anyways because that seems like the easiest out of the three for me lol

[writerfae]

So I read The brooch from the possible future au (this is why it was on my mind when you made that post about Cyrus) and I loved it😭 It hurt, but it was also heartfelt and beautiful and I got really emotional from it so sorry in advance if this rant sounds a little silly.

It was somehow so comforting despite being so tragic.

First of all at the beginning they're just sitting there, being content❤️ (you know I love characters just sitting around (or if you didn't, now you do!)

"Sometimes Aiden still couldn’t believe that this was real. That this was his. He never wanted Talon to stop looking at him like that. "

This says exactly what needs to be said!

Also, I love how much Talon's smiling in this (in the beggining of it)

"Too valuable for someone like me, he thought, but didn’t say it, because he knew Talon didn’t like it when he talked like this."

I don't like it when you talk like this! But it's so cute because it implies that Talon and Aiden did have talks about this!

"Wherever you are, my heart is with you"❤️😭

Now, you probably expect me to scream at you for the second part, but I won't because like I said it is somehow still heartwarming for me.

See, now I want to start quoting again, but then I'd put nearly the whole thing here, so I'll say this:

Every word describes the whole situation so perfectly. It feels like there's not a word out of place, like they are all emphasizing a point that I think isn't really the tragedy, but the love they have for each other.

I also love how much affection Talon is initiating here, trying to comfort both of them.

The fact that Aiden tries to give back the brooch. The fact that Talon doesn't let him, and that THIS comforts Aiden somewhat.

But I do have to quote my favorite part!

"A small sob escaped him as Aiden held out a small object to him, hands trembling. “I think… I think you might want it back. Give it to… give it to her.”

And the last part... it was so hard seeing Aiden like that so I won't go into much detail here. He reminded me of Milan a little.

And if you'll indulge me I would like to go on a little rant about my story and angst:

I don't know if I emphasize this enough but I NEED you to know this:

All the (canon) Ákos angst comes with the inevitable end of Ákos ending up all right. With someone comforting him, helping him, or him realizing that it's okay. Otherwise, I wouldn't do it to him.

You see, the thing is that Ákos is an incredibly strong person. More importantly he has people around him to support him (his parents and siblings).

The reason I talk so much about post story Ákos angst is because aside from those small things that fade with time Ákos goes back to being normal and happy!

He goes back to following Endre around everywhere.

He goes back to exploring the castle a houndred times with Moss.

He goes back to reading in Adél's room.

And when he's not able to do something that he used to be able to do, when he's scared, there's always someone to help him through it.

There's this moment in this holiday special thing (THAT I SWEAR I'LL BE SO SAD IF I CAN'T WRITE THIS YEAR) where they're walking in the winter woods and he wants to run off and look around, but he's a little scared, and Adél notices and follows two steps behind him so he doesn't have to worry. And then, after a while, he doesn't enen need Adél to do this.

Whenever he's having a problem, there's always at least one of his siblings to swoop in and help.

And like I said he's not always having problems!

Also this goes without saying but he will realize that it wasn't his fault.

Most importantly Ákos didn't lose his curiosity which in my opinion would have been the most tragic thing that could have happened (it happens in the villain Adél au). Sure he becomes a little more cautious (especially at first) but no less confident.

I might have mentioned this already but Ákos has always been interested in the Black swamp. And he didn't let what happened to him ruin this.

When he grows up, he will (probably, the specifics of this may change) research history with a special emphasis on the Black swamp, and he'll love it.

Ákos took this horrible experience that he had and made something positive out of it. Something that interests him, something that makes him happy (that down the line even ends up helping others).

Ákos' strength comes from two places:

One is that that's just what he's like

But more importantly because he was influenced by each of his siblings. He has a little bit of each of them in him, plus his own stuff!❤️

I hope you didn't mind this little rant🙈 I was just hoping that knowing this about Ákos gives you at least some fuzziness even if it is bittersweet like the ones I got from reading your short story.

I finally got around to answer this! Thanks so much for your patience 😌

I’m feeling really flattered that you liked The Brooch so much you wrote this ask!

Though I know the possible future au is a very painful one for us Taiden stans, it is really dear to me. And I loved writing this short story for it in particular! Both part one and two!

Part one really is mostly hurt, but it has lots of comfort in it too. I wanted to make the meaning of the brooch for both of them clear. I think I managed that quite well and to be honest, I did tear up a bit while writing the breakup part and the one where Aiden told Ash…

Also you’re not wrong, Aiden in the last bit is a bit like Milan, which is sad if you consider that it’s pretty much what Aiden always feared.

You’re always welcome to rant a little about your story to me!

You really don’t need to justify your Ákos angst to me. I know I complain about it (in a very fond way btw, never in the negative sense), but this is your story and you can do whatever you want! And don’t worry, I’m very aware that Ákos will be alright in the end. And I’m really glad about it ^^

And it’s great his siblings will help him through it all. That’s one of the best things about stories like yours!

(I’m very glad my boy Ákos will be alright in the end btw!)

[inthefightgarden]

so umm i just finished mother of learning in like 5 days, and my brain is now full of wriggling squiggling worms. i'm also just starting a re-read with the audiobook and it is already giving me even more questions and ideas! so here i am to share my wormy burden ^_^

anyway, here's something chapter 1 started me thinking about...

do you think zorian's mother knows about their bloodline? (also her name is cikan. i had to look it up, so saying it here incase anyone else needed reminding)

we know that cikan really hated being associated with zorian's grandmother, but she was still immersed in witch culture at least somewhat in her home life. we don't really know how old she was when she first started to reject those practices, so it's hard to judge how much she would have learned before she went out of her way to avoid it, and we also just don't have enough context about the witches' traditions for raising their kids to make guesses about her knowlege level.

we do see later on in the series (what comes to mind is the confrontation in koth) that cikan doesn't have much knowlege about magic as zorian knows it (eg. what you can expect from certain spells used for travel), but given that the witches are an separate spellcasting tradition from the ikosians that doesn't necessarily tell us loads about what she might have picked up from her mother.

also, knowing you have a bloodline is pretty important information to have, so even with the antagonism you'd think zorian's grandmother would've at least made sure cikan knew about that... if SHE knew, anyway, cause that's also not something we can really take for granted is it? there are a few ways i can picture it being

option 1. most of what we see in the series is not typical from an empathy bloodline. archmage zorian is an outlier and should not be counted. and even daimen, the more "normal" natural mind mage is still a whole magical prodigy, which isn't exactly baseline for most people with empathy either. so yeah... zorian's grandmother may not have known that she had a empathy in her family in the first place.

option 2. we do hear (i don't remember when or who from. maybe one of the teachers? was it ilsa? idk) that empathy is a pretty common form of natural magical ability, and it's kind of a mild plot twist that it's a bloodline thing if i remember correctly. so even if zorian's grandmother knew about an empath in her family history she might not have known that meant it could pass down.

option 3. part of the reason in world that empathy isn't usually thought of as a bloodline thing (again, if i'm remembering right) is because it's so comparatively common, so it's entirely possible that empathy bloodlines (and possibly to a lesser extent bloodlines in general) are just quite common for witches to the extent that it's not really something that needs to be said explicitly, or at least wouldn't have been if cikan hadn't done so much to assimilate with the dominant culture and distance herself from witch tradition and knowlege

BUT, those options are thinking about the reasons cikan might NOT know about their bloodline... so again, does she know? even if she doesn't think of it as a bloodline she might be aware that her family has a history of empathy. so now for some thoughts on what the situation might be if she IS aware of the family history.

(note. i'm pretty damn sure cikan herself isn't an empath. zorian would be able to tell if she was "open", and she just doesn't have that understanding of how other people feel. but if you think otherwise, or just want to think about a "what if", i'd love to hear about it ^-^)

(oh and same goes for kiri and fortov)

cikan might know that there's a family history, but not really know what that means in practise. as i mentioned earlier she doesn't seem very knowlegable on magic, so she might not have any clue about the signs and how it typically presents.

she also might be in denial about the possibility that her kids inherited something like that from her, given what we've seen of how she thinks about her heritage. or she might have focused any concern about the possibility onto kirielle, who seems to be where much of her trauma goes, and not considered that the boys might get it. especially considering the witches' beliefs about sex and magical lineage.

but she also might know or suspect that zorian and/or daimen is an empath. which if nothing else is certainly the option with the most potential drama.

personally, i doubt she knows that daimen is an empath. he put a lot of work into hiding it, and i feel like it would probably affect how he sees him. given how much baggage she has about her witch heritage i just can't see that knowlege not somewhat tainting her golden boy, you know? like i know she's fine with him being a mage and really proud of his prodigy status, but i just can't envision her seeing empathy the same way, and i think it would come through in a slightly colder attitude to daimen. especially given the cultural stigma against mind magic when she's worked so hard to become socially acceptable.

but i'm just not sure whether she knows about zorian or not! on the one hand i could totally see her just being oblivious, in denial, not having the right context, whatever, but I can also kind of see the way she treats him (specifically in relation to him socialising and stuff), through the lense of knowing he's an empath.

like he straight up told her as a child that crowds caused him physical pain. he had tp stop going to church because it made him actually pass out! that is some pretty intense stuff to just ignore... we're never told that he saw a doctor or anything about this via his parents (as far as i remember, please let me know if i'm missimg something!) so did she have some idea about what was going on or was it just plain neglect?

and if she did have some understanding of the situation, how did that affect her behaviour? did she think if she ignored it he'd just adjust and never find out? did she just not want it to be associated with her family history if/when he did find out? did she think that if she forced him into triggering situations he'd eventually realise? or that he'd learn to control it subconciously? or did it just not matter how he felt as long as he was still functional when it came to his political use? did she hide it more out of personal shame, or a legitimate conviction that she was protecting him like with kiri?

like i said, i'm not sure what my headcannon is, but the topic fascinates me. as you can probably tell from how long and rambly this got. sorry ^_^'

but yeah, i'd love to hear what other people think!

[betweenlands]

oh there's soulstealer metaposting in the afterhours tag i NEED to add onto this. sorry for trendhopping (i am not sorry) but i do have thoughts

the thing that gets me about ahrs Legundo is. he's done this before. if i had a nickel for every time Legundo joined a server and decided to play the benevolent capitalist to get what he wants, i'd have two nickels -- and if i had a nickel for every time Legundo ended up catapulting himself into power by way of monopolizing netherwart, i'd have at least two nickels. the thing about Legundo really is that, as generally friendly and helpful and usually trustworthy as he is, the guy knows people.

now, this not being Legundo's first time playing the politics game means he's pretty ready for heavy resistance, especially when it comes to the whole "taking souls" thing. and normally -- normally -- he would have some sort of narrative foil keeping him in check. in Dominion, that was Viking mildly terrorizing him for fun, generally throwing him off his A game. back in Scenario, that usually took the form of Forge and the other Scenario members generally assuming he was up to no good. in Deceit, that took the form of all the other Deceit members being able to match that energy -- especially Loony.

when there's someone who knows Legundo and is able to somewhat counterbalance his energy, he generally doesn't end up with a total monopoly, because it's more interesting to him if he has competition. but right now, at this exact moment in time for After Hours? there is nobody prepared to deal with Legundo. nobody who's in a position to effectively sabotage him, nobody who just existentially scares him the way Viking does, he's almost totally unchecked.

and the part that gets me is that nobody knows this. Legundo's a genuinely really nice person, especially out of character. he does not give off the impression that he's someone you need to worry about, and he hasn't really factored into the souls arc too hard even though he's rapidly amassing a collection to rival Kaboodle's. he's just the local (p)harmacy owner, he doesn't seem like too much of a threat, he's the kind of guy where you can move his house, flip it upside down, and all he's going to do in retribution is use your villagers sometimes. Nominal might be able to somewhat keep him in check -- he and Viking butted heads pretty spectacularly on TwitchCon SMP, effectively acting as foils to each other -- but i don't have high hopes.

see, again. Legundo has done this before. Legundo knows exactly what he is doing and he's got about as much prior experience as Branzy does in getting people to do things for him (which is to say. a lot). and yeah, Loony's on the server now, but that leads to another fifty-fifty, because Loony and Legundo work terrifyingly well together when they're on the same page.

so, coinflip. heads, Loony's able to keep Legundo in check and the server's a little safer and Kaboodle, perceived biggest threat, goes back to being the actual biggest threat. tails, Loony and Legundo end up working together, and so far whenever that's happened it's ended up with a pretty heavy bodycount, because Legundo seems almost uniquely capable of enabling Loony in this regard.

i worry for people's souls on this server. it is not because of Kaboodle. (although then again, Legundo's perfectly trustworthy. he's not going to throw around his weight and puppeteer people like Kab does; he's careful, he's thoughtful, he's really only holding onto those souls for safekeeping. you can trust him.)

[otomefiend]

Alfons Sylvatica

Story Event: I'm his cherished doll

Chapter 1

Prologue (@/archiveikemen ♡)

Alfons' stories sure are something. But this one might be reaching the new highs. Still, I don't think this could go any other way knowing this guy. The story goes places in later chapters, so proceed with caution. Slight nsfw

~~Part 1~~

William: "What would you like to do, Kate?"

His question once again made me think about my situation.

(I can't believe I'm so small and don't even know when or if this condition is even reversible...)

(What if I can't go back to normal? I won't be able to work at the post office and earn my wage...)

(Will I have to, instead, live with the Crown members for the rest of my life, as they're the only ones to know what's going on?)

(Uh... I'm starting to feel dizzy)

I had to decide what to do, but I couldn't think straight...

Alfons: "Ahh, poor little Kate."

Alfons: "Thanks to Roger, you're in this amusing ... pardon me, awful predicament."

He came up to me, lamenting theatrically.

Alfons: "Would you be so kind and let me take care of you?"

Kate: "What!?"

Alfons was a hedonistic scoundrel, always in the pursuit of pleasure.

In this powerless state, any resistance on my part was going to be pointless, and there was no telling how he was going to toy with me.

Alfons: "No need to worry, Kate. As you can imagine, given our size difference, nothing untoward is going to happen."

Alfons: "All I promise is that I will help you get the most enjoyment out of this situation."

Kate: "I-I want to find a way to get back to normal..."

Alfons: "Roger will work tirelessly to make this happen. After all, it's his fault..."

Roger: "Well, that's true. I'll do my best."

Alfons: "As you can see, you don't have to try so hard, little one. There's not much you can do anyway."

Alfons: "Besides, it'd be a shame not to take advantage of this delightful opportunity."

~~Part 2~~

Alfons: "Besides, it'd be a shame not to take advantage of this delightful opportunity."

(It'd be a shame not to enjoy it, huh...)

Hearing his offhand remark, I realized I hadn't thought about it at all.

Kate: "... I guess so."

Admittedly, obsessing over my situation only made my head spin and offered no solution.

Alfons: "Right? Well, then it's settled."

He picked me up by the collar and placed me in the palm of his hand.

Kate: "Whoa!?"

Alfons: "Then, I'm going to borrow this pitiful little Robin."

Kate: "Huh, what? Did I agree to that?"

William: "I'd say your response was somewhat positive."

(Seriously...!)

All Crown members were watching us with a warm look in their eyes.

Victor: "I wanted to take care of you too, Kate... but if you agree to it, I'll just step aside?"

Elbert: "Al... I don't think he will do anything lethal, so don't worry."

Roger: "On the other hand, you may want to prepare for the other things, eh?"

Harrison: "Well, good luck."

Alfons: "So he says. Let's go then."

Before I could object, Alfons snatched me from the dining room.

(What now... I feel I ended up with the least suitable person, considering the circumstances)

Alfons: "Now then, to start with..."

(Oh no... what if he asks me to become a cat toy...)

Alfons: "How about going for a swim?"

Kate: "...a swim?"

~~Part 3~~

Alfons: "And? It feels good, doesn't it?"

Kate: "It feels good, but it tickles, the bubbles..."

Of all the outfits that Victor prepared for me,

Alfons, in what could only be considered a prank, chose a thin lingerie-like garment,

that was now completely soaked in light blue carbonated water.

Alfons: "I envy you, soaking in a pool in the garden."

Alfons watched as I tried to hold on to the rim of the wide-mouthed glass placed on the garden table,

as he was swirling its contents.

(I can't stay pleasantly submerged like that... when I'm wearing something so closely resembling underwear...)

(Though I'd like to believe I'm sufficiently obscured by the bubbles and water refraction...)

I nervously held onto the glass...

Alfons: "Look, you're too stiff. Please don't, you need to relax more."

Alfons: "There's plenty of sugar in it, so your body should simply float..."

Kate: "Huh... now that you mentioned it, I thought it felt sticky, and I wasn't sinking fast enough."

(Float you say...?)

Alfons: "Come now, take your hands off the edge."

Kate: "Wah... wah..."

My fingers that clung to the rim of the glass were pried open and my body suddenly floated to the surface.

(T-this....)

(I've never experienced such a feeling, be it in the sea or in the bath...)

(It's supposed to be a serious situation, but... this might be...)

(A little bit fun)

The dizzying confusion and anxiety flew away,

leaving me with a feeling that I may enjoy this situation.

Kate: "Floating in the glass... it feels like I'm in a dream."

Alfons: "Heh, your face is finally starting to look good."

Alfons: "I'm glad you're having fun."

Kate: "Eep!?"

Before I knew it, his finger snuck up on me and lightly brushed my chest, making me squeal.

Alfons: "I'm sorry, but your lovely breasts were exposed and looking so defenceless that my fingertips just followed my desires."

~~Part 4~~

Kate: "Eep!?"

Before I knew it, his finger snuck up on me and lightly brushed my chest, making me squeal.

Alfons: "I'm sorry, but your lovely breasts were exposed and looking so defenceless that my fingertips just followed my desires."

Kate: "Wha...!"

My face got hot when I finally realised that as I floated on my back,

my wet clothes clung tightly to my body, leaving no space for imagination.

Kate: "Hey, you said you wouldn't do anything inappropriate...!"

Alfons: "Did I say that?"

(Ugh, this guy...)

Kate: "Ah....eek!"

One by one, his fingers travelled from my breasts to my navel, making my hands and feet splash the liquid involuntarily.

Alfons: "How does it feel? Does it feel good? Or does it hurt?"

Alfons: "I don't know what it's like since I have no comparison... so please tell me about it."

He narrowed his eyes, resting his chin on his hand, and gave me a mischievous look.

Like a cat toying with its prey.

Kate: "It doesn't feel good... you pervert!"

Alfons: "Oh my! To be called a pervert, how vexing."

Alfons: "I don't think I deserve to be called a pervert just because I indiscriminately do whatever brings me fun."

Kate: "Isn't doing things indiscriminately a perversion...?"

Alfons: "If that's the case, then why don't you become a pervert too?"

Kate: "...huh?"

Alfons: "Next step, let's 'savour' something even more delightful."

~~Part 5~~

After my sticky body was wiped dry,

I was brought to the kitchen, where a sweet smell enveloped me.

Alfons: "See, these are the scones with which Victor was trying to express his desire to take care of you."

Alfons: "Plenty of clotted cream and jam to go with them."

Alfons: "There are also biscuits and cakes."

Kate: "Whoa..."

(Surrounded by sweets as tall as my waist... I feel like Alice in Wonderland)

Kate: "All of this is... for me?"

Alfons: "Mhm. Well, I'll eat whatever you can't."

Alfons: "Go ahead and help yourself. Bite straight into it or lie on the top of it, whatever strikes your fancy."

I felt like I was dreaming, and it brought out the childlike part of me.

(My body is already sticky with sugar, so if it gets any dirtier... it won't make much of a difference)

The table was carefully covered with a cloth on top of the tablecloth to prevent it from getting dirty.

(I think I'm getting used to being dressed like this... after all, I've been wearing it up till now)

I climbed down from Alfons' hand and cautiously stepped forward.

Sweet smells seemed to intertwine over the table,

And by the time I sampled some of the sweets, as if I were sucking nectar from flowers, I was completely filled with joy.

Kate: "Mmm, these biscuits are delicious...!"

Alfons: "Uh-huh, indeed. Though I'd love some whisky."

Kate: "Heh, you were drinking earlier, weren't you?"

Alfons: "Don't you want to try those scones?"

Kate: "Of course, I will! I was just saving them for last."

I placed my hand on a spoon about the length of my leg in an attempt to scoop up the clotted cream.

(Oof... the cream is so heavy I can't lift it...)

Alfons: "You still want to use the spoon? Ever the well-mannered lady, regardless of the circumstances."

Kate: "It's not like I can just scoop it up with my hands, can I?"

(I wonder if I could leverage it?)

Kate: "Good. One, two, three..."

I put my weight on the handle of the spoon, and then...

Kate: "Wah!?"

Chapter 2

[playroom-sekaii]

Hiiiii! You might know me from ao3 (@imani_i!) , if requests are open could you make a little akito fic/hcs? I loveloveloveeee your works <33

Omg hi, thanks for always giving so much love on my fics, it makes me so happy ^w^ I'll try to get a little Akito fic done as soon as I can (I've been busy with school and other fics lately >m<), but for now, here's some headcanons for this little guy!

-Age range is normally around 4-7, but he can end up as small as about two in situations such as being extremely stressed or sick. Not like he'd ever willingly admit that he was feeling that small, he's a big kid!

-Akito's quite embarrassed over being a regressor in general, it took a lot for him to finally admit it to the rest of VBS, despite the fact that they're all little sometimes too. He thinks it's embarrassing and weak, and he often tries to shove away the need to feel small, the rest of his team are working on helping him feel less ashamed of this part of him, it helps with his mental health, it's nothing he needs to beat himself up over!

-The main things that make him slip are exhaustion and stress, if things get too much it's almost like his body shuts down and simply can't handle being big anymore

-He's only told VBS about this side of himself, though Ken has figured it out, Akito still hasn't realized he knows. Him and Ena are also both at a stalemate of "you've seen me while I'm small and you seemed okay with it but I'd rather die than tell you", neither knowing the other's a regressor too.

-Toya is his main caregiver, and he and Akito are still attached at the hip when he's like this, and when Toya's small too Aki works his hardest to be strong and tough for him, he's usually littler than him after all! The Street Sekai virtual singers, aside from Rin and Len, also tend to look after him, and very rarely will An and Kohane as well.

-Somewhat of a bratty little one, though nowhere to the extent of someone like Ena. He works his hardest to insist that he's a big kid, he doesn't need to be coddled, or any baby stuff like sippy cups or pacis! Deep inside he doesn't mind these things, and he's a bit clingy in reality as well (especially with Toya or Meiko, little guy can hardly bear to be without at least one of them), but it takes a lot for him to actually admit what he wants.

-Very active little one! Let him run around and play outside and he'll be very happy, especially if someone else plays with him! He also very much enjoys drawing and coloring as well, even if he doesn't do so as much while big.

-He still absolutely loves singing, doing so often, even without realizing it. While big he's a bit ashamed of how off his singing is while he's little, but he still has fun doing it! One day while the rest of VBS was little too, they ended up putting on an "event" for the virtual singers, very much worthy of a standing ovation!

-It's very rare to see him without Tsuki, a little plush fox that Toya got him. He'll never straight up say that the stuffy makes him feel safer and comfy, that'll make him seem like a baby! Tsuki just doesn't like being alone, yeah, that's it!

-When he's sleepy or extra small, he's oddly cuddly! He will cling to Toya and not let go, and Toya's slowly working to be able to pick him up!

[henrysglock]

He's Dead, Jim.

Okay so. Forewarning. This theory is probably one of my least canon-based ones. And yet...it would make sense sense, and it would provide an MO for certain things.

I was thinking about Natalie's post regarding the intricacies of blood splatters, especially as that post may pertain to a faked massacre in 1979 à la Fringe Subject 13...or an actual, physically committed massacre (as opposed to One's psionic killing).

Like...a couple things I've been struggling with are:

The "why" of it all re: a no-powers massacre. Why do that, if you've got a whole raft of kids, all of whom display useful talents? All that for one girl that you suspect might be stronger than the others?

If Brenner was yeeted, then what happened to One? Where's he in all this?

Now, we know we have a good deal of evidence that certain crucial parts of NINA are missing (for example: "I meant what I said when I called this place a prison", meanwhile One's never mentioned the lab being a prison before then) or spliced in from other versions of events, which brings me to something that's always fucked me up:

Why the hell does One look so distinctly normal after having the every loving fuck tortured out of him?

He goes from being so injured that he can't even stand up. He has to be dragged out on the floor...

With, it seems, a skull fracture bad enough to cause his face to swell and make him bleed fairly heavily from the ears...

(since the only other thing that can do that seems to be overusing powers, which doesn't seem likely given that he's still chipped at this point)

To this, supposedly within the next day-ish:

He looks startlingly normal. Tired and upset, yes (as usual, and understandably so), but unharmed.

In fact, shortly after that, both versions of this guy are not-concussed enough to play chess?

(see: the change in hairstyle)

Like. I know characters aren't real, but for reference: I smacked my head on the ice two years ago and got a moderately bad concussion from it. I was stuck in bed for 2+ weeks because I couldn't function (in like...multiple ways).

But somehow this guy is well enough to play chess and formulate an escape plan within a day or so? I don't buy it.

In fact, based on the visible symptoms and likely point of impact...

That injury puts him at risk of death:

And you'd probably go "Oh but James, One chats with El about Papa hurting him, though, so those two ought to be the same guy" to which I'd go "This guy? This guy shouldn't be able to do that". Regenerative healing or not, he should be knocked on his ass for a while (see: Two after the shock collar incident, which was arguably a less severe injury), especially with a device like Soteria in him inhibiting only Papa knows what.

Actually, given that we supposedly start NINA on Sept. 4th, 1979 and the massacre happens on Sept. 8th...I'd say, if we're being shown things even somewhat chronologically, he shouldn't come back at all. If he's not dead, then he should be down for the count.

And here comes the tentative theory bit:

I wonder if he doesn't come back. Can we say for certain what happened to this version of One? He's likely not the One playing chess or asking El if she wants a challenge. He clearly isn't even well enough to be standing anytime soon.

And so, in a sort-of backtrack-y topic-shift way, I want to address the scene that we know directly precedes the plinko/torture scene.

Now...I know I, personally, have always wondered why they kept One around for so long when he's practically useless to them. What if they were just waiting for the next One to pop up? Something about Sith always coming in pairs, master and apprentice...Brenner's got a fair bit of Palpatine coding, after all.

And Brenner knows One isn't loyal to him. Brenner knows One is making moves in silence or whatever. So, like I said (except in SW terms), how improbably would it be that he was just biding his time with One until he could find a new "apprentice" and discard him, someone to replace his first, failed "student"?

I have more to say about Brenner and Palpatine (and William Bell, for that matter), but that's a matter for another post (I can only fit so many pictures, and it would be a real tangent anyway).

All this to say:

With One proving himself disloyal and a threat to Brenner's authority, which Brenner is clearly shown to be aware of:

And with El having defeated Brenner's current most promising student:

Only to immediately follow up with this torture/injury scene...

I think there's a fair chance that this version of One may have died or been killed.

Which would, then, be sufficient motivation to prompt a massacre scenario to both paint Brenner in a trustworthy light/re-center El's loyalty and get El to step into her full powers/take One's place as Brenner's most powerful test subject, much akin to Sith apprenticeship turnover.

This would solve not only the question of why this type of scenario might happen, but also the question of where One, in this version, might have gone.

[sadquickchristmassnowman]

i watched iasip. once again, thank you for the long post. you really sold me on it, and i'm glad you did. i don't have anyone to share my thoughts to, so i thought i'd come back here.

(just for the record, i watched from season 5-16, because i struggle to get into shows if they start off slow. after i write this, i'm going to go back and watch season 1-4)

my first thoughts were, i'm surprised how much of the soundtrack i know. the background music and intro go so hard, don't get me wrong, but i was shocked how much of it i've already heard from youtube videos and stuff.

my seconds thoughts were. woah i hate everyone yet i care for them?? now that is good writing. but also i've never gasped or said "oh no" aloud so much while watching a show. again, good writing.

surprisingly, several of the episodes like, hit me hard and got me genuinely feeling like shit. cough the suburban house episode cough.

i was also surprised at the out right gayness. normally from these types of sitcoms, i've grown to accept the odd gay joke and gay-coded characters. but a canonically gay character that's sexuality is brought up often and isn't just stereotypes ontop of stereotypes? that (sadly) really shocked me.

i also found myself able to predict the way the episodes were gonna go, not for all of them but for quite a few. my brain would just assume the worst, and then it would happen. which, i think added to the atmosphere if anything. the dramatic irony and the dread i would feel as the episode progressed really just hooked me. i knew it was all going to shit, i hated it was all going to shit, but i couldn't stop watching.

overall, a very enjoyable show. i think i might like it a little less when i watch the earlier 4 seasons, because i'm assuming it'll be physically painful to watch. but again, thank you! you've created an iasip fan!

I'm really glad you liked it! thanks for the update bro 👍 (and are you saying you literally watched the entirety of seasons 5-16? if so that was SPEEDY as hell dude that's awesome)

and yep! a lot of the soundtrack, including the title sequence song, are just from an unlicensed free music library online lmfao, so a lot of youtubers and stuff use it when they need music that won't get them demonetized for improper copyrighting etc. this is because they started the show with such a small budget lmao, and they decided to just stick with it. it's a funny bit tbh. here's the pieces they use for score if you were wondering, I listen to them a lot lmfao it's genuinely good music (coming from a music major who listens to instrumental orchestral shit a lot lmao)

and YES it's so awesome how terrible the characters are as people, yet you're still captivated by them and genuinely care about them. that's storytelling baybee!!! some people don't really vibe with that aspect of the show and it puts them off so I’m glad you liked it.

the suburbs episode LMAO that one's a classic. something I had a bit of trouble with at the beginning was being able to separate myself from the characters and just appreciate the comedy and story from an objective standpoint. I just really tend to put myself in the characters' positions or immediately find any way I can to empathize with the scenario. but this show becomes so painful to watch if you try to do that the whole time, so learning to take myself out of the story and just really not take any of it seriously at all has been interesting to say the least. this isn't to say you shouldn't have emotional responses to the show or connect with the characters, not at all, just that I had to learn to really not take the jokes and scenarios seriously. I hope that somewhat made sense

and yes!!! canon gay representation!!! even though rob mcelhenney (guy who plays mac) isn't gay, his mom is gay and he has two gay brothers, so he has been surrounded by the queer community his entire life. he's one of the few straight men who I think are truly qualified to play a gay character, and he does it very respectfully and mindfully, while not compromising the spirit and humor of the show itself. I really respect him for that, and it's one of the things that makes this show really special to me.

(p.s. idk if you've seen mythic quest? that's another one with great gay rep. I think I remember you mentioning you'd seen it but I thought I’d put that in here just in case you haven’t)

you saying that you would predict what was going to happen next because you just thought "what's the worst way this could go," and then it did indeed follow that worst case scenario, made me laugh lmao. I have a similar experience watching. it's exactly like you said: you know it's going to shit, you hate that it's going to shit, but you just can't stop watching regardless.

and, I don't know if you’ve already watched seasons 1-4 by the time I post this, but they're really not bad at all. in fact, seasons 2 and 4 are in my top 6 seasons of the show overall, and the season 4 finale is one of the most iconic episodes in the entire series. I just meant that season 5 is a good place to start because it immediately gets going, it makes sense without too much context, and it's a good way to gauge whether you'd be into the rest of it or not. but that's awesome that you just immediately watched all the way to the present.

anyway! yippee!!! welcome to the club! I’m a pretty new fan too tbh I started watching this august, but I’m really glad I was able to recommend you something that I love, and that you really enjoy as well. lmk what you think of seasons 1-4 or if you ever want to talk more about the show, as you can see I am always down to yap about my favorite sitcoms lmao (sorry about the unnecessarily long response) happy honda days 💯

p.s. here's a picture of the sunny cast at la pride :)

[cursedvibes]

I love your comments on the way female characters are pushed or fridged in JJK. Cause outside of maybe Mai, and kind of Utahaime we have had little development or spotlight of the female characters despite the series being open and critical on sexism that the sorcerer society partakes. I especially hated how they fridged Tsumiki, I hated how she was used as Megumis maral compass and killed off without her actually being herself. Worse, we only knew from Megumis descriptions who consider her but a lot of fans have pointed How Toji warned Tsumiki not to seek fights, and advice that she later gave Megumi And that from the ages of like seven and onward was they state in the fan book that it was very much her who raised Megumi outside of Gojo's financial care. Tsumiki was a angry, parentifed eldest daughter, a normal in a world of sorcerers and lived with two of the strongest of them. The dismissal of the possibilities and her character makes me angry.

We do have more than Maki (I assume you meant her, although Mai is also still there kinda I guess) and Utahime. Shoko, Hana and Angel seem way more important than Utahime honestly. They're not doing much at the moment, but that applies to everyone on the protagonist side. Without Shoko, a good chunk of the protags would already be dead or have a lot less limbs. Although I have to say that it makes no sense to me that Hana had to be saved by Amai and healed by Shoko, when Angel should've been able to do all that. She is a legitimate threat to Sukuna, she has a 1000 year vendetta against him and losing an arm is what would've done her in? She gives up just like that? "sucks to be me I guess"? There was all this conflict set up with her bloodlust and justice vs Hana's wish to save people and nothing came of it. She just decided to play nice after Yuuji told her he doesn't like her attitude. I'm sure Angel is gonna play a role in the Heian flashback or otherwise there would've been no need to bring up the Fallen One business, but the way she's treated in present time makes me so mad. She explicitly said, she will only release Gojo after the protagonists help her kill Sukuna and then just decided to go against that without any comment or complain. Got reduced to a can opener because we so desperately need fish eyes back. Of course she had to be limited somehow or she would've killed Sukuna way to early, but that seems like the worst way to do it. And now she's just an encyclopedia for the others to consult.

At least Hana had an arc, a backstory and character development. You can dislike her having an obsession with Megumi, but it makes sense based on what we know about her past and the traumatic way she met him. It's even a somewhat unique situation I would say. I don't think Gege dropped her completely yet. Whatever happens with Megumi will have an effect on her too. Compared to Angel she got something going for her.

I'm sure Takako is also gonna come into play again somehow or there would be no point to have her live that long. She could've been one-shotted by Sukuna like Ryuu, but she wasn't. Her character is way too interesting for that too. Ryuu's story was already over, hers isn't. I hope she will meet up with Kenjaku. I'd like to see their interaction. If someone is gonna survive the Culling Game, I wish it's her.

God, don't remind me of Tsumiki. That was some bullshit. I came to really like Yorozu, but she was very badly set up. Just got thrown into the story randomly so Sukuna can have a power-up (suppressing Megumi and gaining some sort of weapon). And after all that build-up for Tsumiki too. A conflict between her and Megumi would've been so satisfying. He would've been forced to acknowledge that the Tsumiki he uses as his moral compass doesn't align with the real one. He was shocked, that he didn't recognize Yorozu, but all that told him was that she was a good actor and not that his sister might not match his rosy view of her. That whole conflict got clumsily squeezed into a fight that really only revolved around Yorozu and Sukuna. Megumi's crying face at the end is also very underwhelming, since we got absolutely nothing that would've deserved that, except the very vague knowledge that Tsumiki is dead now. Which she likely was since Yorozu woke up (if only we had concrete information on that). This felt like Sukuna ripped up a cardboard cutout of Tsumiki and Megumi cried about it. It had so little impact. If Megumi got submerged completely by the Bath nothing would've changed because Tsumiki was never really there and he should know that. You could've replaced Tsumiki with a dog Megumi bonded with as a child and nothing would've changed. Except there would be no one to do the housework for him and take care of him before Gojo showed up. It's really just such a waste.

I wish Yorozu and Tsumiki were allowed to be seperate characters with separate bodies (Yorozu just takes some other random person as vessel like any other reincarnated sorcerer and Tsumiki is a new sorcerer). Then we could have the conflict with Megumi, they really get to air out their differences and Megumi is forced to experience character growth, we learn who Tsumiki is as her own person, and then Megumi gets taken over by Sukuna after his confrontation with Tsumiki shook him to the core. Yorozu & Sukuna can still have their fight later.

I really wish Yorozu punched him in the face right here

To make this clear though, I really only have a problem with the writing decisions surrounding Tsumiki, Yorozu and Angel. I think the others are fine. Yes, there could be more female characters in jjk, but I think the ones we do get are handled well. I don't think this makes Gege a misogynist as many like to say. Nothing here speaks of any hatred, disgust, dehumanizing or misunderstanding of women to me (as you can see Megumi was just as poorly handled). Hayashida Q's current story Dai Dark has no women at all. Not even in the background. Just men and ambiguously gendered people. I'm not calling her a misogynist over that though, it's just the kind of story she wants to tell and world she places it in. I would like more female characters in jjk, but only if they are written well. I don't need them written and drawn like One Piece women only for the sake of hitting some gender quota. Don't think Gege would do that anyway. The way they address sexism in-universe and the queer representation we get tells me that much.

[voidscarredadjudicator]

Hey guys. Sorry for being quiet for a month. Hopping on here to let y'all know that I do still have a pulse. Things have been... fine? I guess? Here's a bit of a wordy update on my situation right now, but the tl;dr is, I'm good, HE is still on hiatus, but I'll get back into the groove soon hopefully. Also happy holidays!

The mysterious and vague 'personal life stuff' is still ongoing, and I really don't know how long it'll be something that I have to deal with. I'm continuing to not elaborate because it is very much a personal life thing, but I can assure you that nobody's dying or anything grim like that.

On an only somewhat related note, my expendable income has shrank dramatically in the past few months, so I've been having to get a lot more stingy with what I spend money on. I'm not poverty stricken; I can still afford rent and bills and groceries and whatnot, I just gotta cut corners where I can so I can actually build up my savings.

What does this mean for Humanity's Endling? Well, it's... still on hiatus, technically. But really it just means I'm picking up more shifts than I'd usually care to, which means less time to actually work on it. If work were being done on it to begin with. I'm also cutting out my NSO subscription, which unfortunately means I will not be playing Splatoon 3 much at all anymore. Granted, I was kinda taking a break from it already, so it's not like I've been getting my money's worth of the subscription anyways. So if you were curious about my absence during this most recent Big Run, or the lack of a lengthy season observation/headcanon post like last time, that is why.

All of that said, it's not like I haven't been writing at all - just been hard focusing what creative juices I'm still able to generate given my situation on the accursed TTRPG I've mentioned in prior rambles, as that's an actively running thing that I kinda need to constantly pump stuff out for.

Speaking of which, I pulled a Super Mario Galaxy and wrote a whole ass children's book for the players to find as a lore thing. It was written with the intention of just being a normal children's book in a bubble, but when viewed with the context of the entire campaign thus far, takes on a completely different meaning. Which is to say, you don't need to know a damn thing about the campaign to appreciate the story - a theory I tested by having two people who aren't players read it.

One almost cried. The other actually cried. And when the players found it in our most recent session, one of them also cried, and we had to take a breather after the fact.

Not to pat myself on the back or anything, but I feel like that's one hell of an achievement. So I am pretty proud of myself for that. If you guys are interested, I might clean it up a bit and post it either on Ao3 as an original work or just straight onto this tumblr. It's only about 2k words, so it should fit nicely in a single post.

That's all I can really think of to say at the moment. Again, even though I might seem a bit quiet, I am still here. I take a peek at tumblr at least once a day to see if anyone's sent any asks or anything like that, so don't be afraid to toss something into my inbox if you have a question.

Oh, and for the anon who sent an ask suggesting me to upload what I have of Act II done already - I don't exactly plan my stories in a linear fashion, nor do I write them as such either. It's closer to me thinking of the major moments I wanna do, plotting out how to connect them, refining, refining, refining, rearranging, refining, scrap half of what I have done, rearranging, suddenly having an epiphany, scrapping another chunk... yeah, it's a bit chaotic. I see what you're trying to say though, and I do appreciate the suggestion, but it can't really be done with the way I go about writing.

That's it from me. Happy Holidays. Play Cyberpunk 2077. It's a good game, I swear. Or Undertale Yellow if you own a toaster. It's me, I own a toaster. I played Cyberpunk on my brother's computer. Thanks, bro. Love you.

[sapphic-courtship-for-dummies]

Is it awful that I kind of wish a wlw would flirt with me in real life. I just got broken up with just over a week ago and I am absolutely not ready to move on, but I feel like the validation would help my confidence right now.

It's not awful at all! In fact it's incredibly normal and human to crave affection, and especially in person because we are social and physically intimate creatures by nature--especially after a traumatic event like that when you're feeling especially vulnerable. I'm really sorry for the incredibly late response; if I recall correctly, I was going through it myself when you sent this. In fact, that was just a few weeks before I was broken up with too, so, I was right there with you.

The first thing I'll say is that it's no wonder you weren't ready to move on, it hadn't been more than two weeks! And even if it had been a month or six, or if you're still grieving even now, then that is perfectly okay. It takes time, and everyone heals and grows at their own pace. I know being dumped can deal a blow to your sense of self worth, that it can make you feel like this means you're unlovable, or unwanted. But that's all that those are: feelings. They are not truths. They are not set in stone. Your feelings will change, can change, if you let them, if you allow yourself to shift your perspective.

It took me months to feel somewhat normal again, and over a year for it to really sink in that it was over, and that I was okay with that. You need that time to reflect and take a step back, to realize all the things that were not your fault, along with the things that you can do better in the future. Not only are your self worth and ability to be loved not dependent on this person, those things are not dependent on anyone. Those things are inherent. They are always there. But even if someone else does try to show you that, you are not going to feel that way unless you allow yourself to. Unless you make the choice to see it, open yourself up to it, and find it in yourself.

Confidence does not come from relying on other people's opinion's of you. True confidence comes from within. And I am not saying that it's easy, because Goddess knows it's not. And I'm not saying that having friends/family/other people remind you of your greatness isn't helpful, because it is. It's very important to have a support system that can uplift you when you need it--to surround yourself with those who love you unconditionally and not just see your beauty but celebrate it as well. But, speaking from experience, that won't help you very much if you don't believe them, if you don't trust and try to see what they see in you.

You might not have this problem at all, and I might just be rambling, but I'd just like to remind folks that you can cultivate this love and feeling of worth for yourself. It's not easy at first, and it does take time and effort and practice, but it can be done. (It also gets easier with practice.) And even though you may still crave intimacy and affection from others, you will no longer rely on them to feel worthy, to feel wanted, to feel loved. Because you are, have always been, and will always be these things no matter what. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart. So I hope that at least one day you'll be able to see this and feel it for yourself, and know it as I know it to be the truth.

(Sorry not sorry for this being a long answer, I have a lot of feelings about it. >.<)

You are forever loved, and are never, ever alone.

Earnestly and eternally,

Sappho ❤️

[dudeshusband]

now that it's pretty late and less people are on here:

as we all know (if you've been here a minute), i prefer the 1971 adaptation of charlie and the chocolate factory to the 2005 one.

there are so many reasons for this i could write an essay. today, I'd like to focus on the characters themselves.

starting with charlie bucket, there isn't anything wrong with freddie highmore's portrayal. however, peter ostrum plays a charlie that connects better with the audience. he tends to make the audience want him to find a golden ticket, to win the prize. he comes off as a sweet kid who cares deeply for his family. he just wants something good to happen for himself and his family. i also think he and jack albertson (grandpa joe) do a grandfather-grandson in a very fun and believe way.

willy wonka: roald dahl wanted a brit for wonka. neither adaptation has that. I've never felt it was that big of a deal.

gene wilder's wonka is unnerving. however, he does it in a way that makes you question it, that makes the other characters question it. he seems outwardly to be fairly normal, if a bit eccentric. when he's really weird, it's a bit of a surprise. i will say, he's definitely a bit too sweet at the end perhaps.

depp's wonka is just weird. it's a wonder everyone didn't leave the minute they saw him. he talks like someone you should avoid like the plague. he doesn't lure anyone into a false sense of security at all. he might as well have a sign. also, his voice is uncomfortable to listen to and the dentist dad subplot is both really strange and really absurd. also, i think that there being a debate on whether charlie could take his family with him is equally strange and absurd. he's a kid. hello???

grandpa joe: i feel jack albertson does him better if only because he seems more grandfatherly to me. also, he does well with ostrum's charlie. 2005's grandpa joe is a bit forgettable. also, "I've got a golden ticket" is a lovely song and it has a slightly goofy but enjoyable scene to accompany it.

veruca salt: again, there's nothing wrong with 2005 here, as far as i can remember. however, i appreciate 1971 because while veruca is definitely bratty, she's somewhat good at faking a "sweet little girl" persona, which is highlighted in "i want it now." she loses her cool (because she is a kid) but is pretty quickly able to regain it. it explains why the salts act the way they do with her, in addition to being too spineless to discipline her. fave thing about 2005 though, the way that girl says "squirrel." I'll never forget that.

mr. salt: wh. why is 2005's like that? i don't like him. 1971's salt is at least a bit funny. "what business are you in, salt?" "nuts" is iconic. i only mentioned this parent because this one bugs me.

violet beauregarde: both are perfectly fine. i kinda dig 2005's peak 00s tracksuit. i will say, i think 1971's blueberry is better. it's more of a blueberry and less of a gigantic blue orange like 2005's. also i like practical effects.

augustus gloop: this character is a mess in general. however, i have some bones to pick with 2005 here. firstly, the fake red hair is ghastly. secondly, how come 1971 could get a real fat german kid and you couldn't? thirdly, what in the fuck is that intro scene? where are the gloops living? why does it look rat invested? jesus. i feel like he's more offensive. honestly 2005 is more offensive point blank.

mike teavee: so. this one's up to personal preference. both are good at what was being aimed for.

1971's mike is actually somewhat likable imo. he's not horrible. he's just a bit rambunctious and watches too much tv. he's very much a typical 11 year old boy. he should heed his mother but also, it's completely understandable that he'd see this cool contraption that could send people by television and want to use it. he's 11.

2005's is a very video game loving, destined to live and die in his mother's basement, calls you slurs on xbox live, little cunt. i would punt him into the sun. his vice isn't just that he watches to much tv, he's also a bigot and I'm upset because i had to hear the r slur while relooking these characters up. you know, this is the only 2000s media i ever heard that slur in. congrats burton, you've made a character that deserves the taffy puller.

oompa loompas: these characters are bad from the get go and I'm not the right person to speak on the race portion of it. the book is racist. whether this was better adapted by the 1971 one or 2005 one, if either, i have no right to say. as far as i can tell, 2005 leans more into the white savior narrative than 1971. feel free to weigh in on this portion if you'd like.

however, i think that it was better to have more than one person play the oompa loompas. 2005's one guy copypasted looks incredibly odd and takes away from the quality of the songs. it also takes away from the diversity that the 1971 oompa loompas have in height and body type and facial features. also, having more real people will always look better than editing one guy to be multiple guys.

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

Care to share the John struggling with sexuality findings… feel as if it would nice to learn

Wow this is a HUGE question. I'll try to gather some evidence (I was actually doing a Notion doc on this as a sideproject lmao but it's nowhere near finished)

This is definitely not a complete list (and most of this will be old news to people who've been on here for a while), but it's quite extensive and hopefully helpful to someone who's just starting to research this, I'd say. Also feel free to come back and ask, if you have more specific questions about this once you read this!

Also, when I was almost finished with this post, tumblr froze on me and I hadn't saved the post as a draft and the text couldn't be copy-pasted anymore. I freaked out since this took me hours, but was able to salvage the raw, unformatted, paragraphless text by getting it from the page inspection thingy (pro-tip!). So, I had to reformat everything and add the sources back in (but least the sources on the frozen page were still clickable so I didn't have to go hunting for them again, just had to recopy the links over).

Point is, there might be mistakes in here because of that :(

April 1963 Trip to Barcelona with Brian Epstein:

(here's some background info on the trip if you're not in the know.)

• Pete Shotton, John's childhood friend's account of a conversation with John shortly after the trip (from the book John Lennon: In My Life)

I visited John at Aunt Mimi’s a few days after his return to England. And when he started in about how much he had enjoyed Spain, I could hardly resist taking the piss out of him. “So you had a good time with Brian, then?” I smirked. Nudge nudge, wink wink.

I was somewhat taken aback when John didn’t so much as crack a smile. “Oh, fuckin’ hell,” he groaned. “Not you as well, Pete!”

“What do you mean, not me as well?”

“They’re all fucking going on about it.”

“It’s OK, John. Don’t take it so serious. I’m just joking, for Christ’s sake.”

“Actually Pete,” he said softly, “Something did happen with him one night.”

Now that wiped the grin right off my face. Had I even dreamed there might be any truth whatsoever to the rumors, I would never have made light of the subject in the first place. Still – as John surely knew – I would have stood by him, and let the rest of the world handle the business of passing moral judgement, even if he had just told me he’d committed murder. And John would surely have done the same for me.

Which, after all, is what true friendship is all about.

“What happened,” John explained, “is that Eppy just kept on and on at me. Until one night I finally just pulled me trousers down and said to him: ‘Oh, for Christ’s sake, Brian, just stick it up me fucking arse then.’

“And he said to me, ‘Actually, John, I don’t do that kind of thing. That’s not what I like to do.’

“‘Well,’ I said, ‘what is it you like to do, then?’

“And he said, ‘I’d really just like to touch you, John.’

“And so I let him toss me off.”

And that was that. End of story.

“That’s all, John” I said. “Well, so what? What’s the big fucking deal, then?”

“Yeah, so fucking what! The poor bastard. He’s having a fucking hard enough time anyway.” This was in reference to the “butch” dockers who, on several recent occasions, had rewarded Brian’s advances by beating him to a bloody pulp.

“So what harm did it do, then, Pete, for fuck’s sake?” John asked rhetorically. “No harm at all. The poor fucking bastard, he can’t help the way he is.”

Comment: Pretty eyebrow-raising to offer yourself up like that if you don't on some level desire it, but at the same time this plus John's violent reaction to Bob Wooler insinuating something happened weeks later to me indicates he was not feeling very secure and normal about what had happened.

• John himself on the trip (from his 1980 Playboy interview)

I went on holiday to Spain with Brian... which started all the rumors that he and I were having a love affair. Well, it was almost a love affair, but not quite. It was never consummated. But we did have a pretty intense relationship. And it was my first experience with someone I knew was a homosexual. He admitted it to me. We had this holiday together because Cyn was pregnant and we left her with the baby and went to Spain. Lots of funny stories, you know. We used to sit in cafs and Brian would look at all the boys and I would ask, 'Do you like that one? Do you like this one?' It was just the combination of our closeness and the trip that started the rumors.

Comment: "Never consummated" might be consistent with Pete's account if to John "consummation" entailed some form of penetration. It's left to the imagination what John might've meant by "almost a love affair". Also, his interest in how Brian experiences his own sexual orientation is of note, regardless of the extent to which something between him and Brian happened, I'd say.

• John on the trip (from his 1970 Lennon Remembers interview)

Q: Let me ask you about something else that was in the Hunter Davies book. At one point it said you and Brian Epstein went off to Spain.

A: Yes. We didn’t have an affair though. Fuck knows what was said. I was pretty close to Brian. If somebody is going to manage me, I want to know them inside out.

Comment: This is kind of weird to me, because Brian had been signed on as his manager for over a year by April 1963. John wanting to "know him" seems a bit late by this point. He might not be lying though and just genuinely have confused some memories.

• John on attacking Bob Wooler at Paul's 21st birthday party (Interview with Andy Peebles, 1980. I can't for the life of me find a full transcript of this but here's a post transcribing this bit and the audio is on Youtube, I haven't double-checked the transcription though)

The Beatles’ first national coverage was me beating up Bob Wooler at Paul’s 21st party because he intimated I was homosexual. I must have had a fear that maybe I was homosexual to attack him like that and it’s very complicated reasoning. But I was very drunk and I hit him and I could have really killed somebody then. And that scared me…

Comment: John is directly expressing that he once doubted his own sexuality. Obviously, this does also slightly read like a denial, in that his use of "must have had a fear" sounds, grammatically, like that fear was perhaps unfounded.

At the same time, can you blame him for backing out of admitting to this, if that's what's going on? I also sort of personally doubt he ever got to a point in his life where he was actually fully comfortable with his attraction to men, and even went through phases where he actively repressed/denied it.

• John on attacking Bob (1971 interview with Peter McCabe & Robert D. Schonfeld)

I remember it, vaguely. I was out of me mind with drink – when you get down to the point where you drink all the empty glasses, that drunk. And he was saying, “Well, come on, John, tell us,” something like that, “Tell me about you and Brian, we all know,” like that. And obviously, I must have been un– uh, f– frightened of the fag in me to get so angry at that. You know, when you’re twenty-one, you want to be a man, and all that.

Comment: The same as above, essentially

John and Paul (+ Yoko's suspicions):

• John on his expectations from a romantic/creative partner (1972 Interview with Sandra Shevey)

It’s a plus, it’s not a minus. The plus is that your best friend, also, can hold you without… I mean, I’m not a homosexual, or we could have had a homosexual relationship and maybe that would have satisfied it, with working with other male artists. [faltering] An artist – it’s more – it’s much better to be working with another artist of the same energy, and that’s why there’s always been Beatles or Marx Brothers or men, together. Because it’s alright for them to work together or whatever it is. It’s the same except that we sleep together, you know? I mean, not counting love and all the things on the side, just as a working relationship with her, it has all the benefits of working with another male artist and all the joint inspiration, and then we can hold hands too, right?

Comment: Even in a quote technically denying being attracted to men he seems to express a wish for having such a relationship. The last statement kind of feels like at least some part of him wants to hold hands with the men he's worked with.

• John (+ Yoko), when asked about how people perceive his relationship with Yoko, bringing up Paul (Interview with David Scheff 1980; this didn't get printed by Playboy)

JOHN: Well, that’s rubbish, you know. Because nobody controls me. I’m uncontrollable. The only one that can control me is me, and that’s just barely possible. [Yoko laughs] But that’s what life is about. And that’s the lesson I’m learning. Because – nobody ever said anything about Paul having a spell over me, when I was with him for a long time. Or me having a spell over Paul. They didn’t think that was abnormal, two guys together.

YOKO: They might have. [laughs]

JOHN: Or four guys together. In those days? Why didn’t anybody ever say, “How come those guys don’t split up? I mean, what’s going on backstage? I mean, what is that Paul and John business? Why – you know, how can they be together so long?”

Comment: John clearly sees a parallel between JohnandPaul and JohnandYoko (where few saw it) and uses it to demonstrate a hypocrisy he perceives. However, when claiming no one found his and Paul's relationship oddly close, Yoko calls this into question; she appears to disagree with John's assessment that what he and Paul had was "normal". Also, John correcting from it being about two people to about four, only for him to return right back to just him and Paul is of note to me.

• John, on how he feels about his relationship and partnership with Yoko (December 1970, Rolling Stone)

It’s just handy to fuck your best friend. That’s what it is. And once I resolved the fact that it was a woman as well, it’s all right. We go through the trauma of life and death every day so it’s not so much of a worry about what sex we are anymore.

Comment: Just pretty interesting, considering how often he compared Yoko directly to Paul and made allusions to replacing him with her. Also, his comment on having to resolve the fact she was a woman is odd (but he very well might be talking about the role of a "best friend" and deconstructing some type of misogyny that stopped him from opening up to women). John generally had an interesting perspective on the roles of being a friend, a sexual partner, a creative partner and how those intersect.

• John to Paul reflecting on the songs they've been writing for the Get Back sessions (Get Back sessions, January 24th, here's the audio, I don't have a link to the video. It's in episode 2 or 3 of Get Back though)

PAUL: It’s like, uh, “We have to get back.” “We’re on our way home.”

JOHN: Yeah.

PAUL: There’s a story. There’s another one – ‘Don’t Let Me Down’. “Oh darling, I’ll never let you down.” Like we’re doing—

JOHN: Yeah. It’s like you and me are lovers.

PAUL: [reserved] Yeah. [pause]

JOHN: We’ll just have to camp it up for those two.

PAUL: Yeah. Well, I’ll be wearing my skirt for the show, anyway.

Comment: Paul not flatout laughing at the comment kind of makes it seem like the vibe John was giving off here wasn't a joke (Paul knowing him well, would probably have a better feel for this than we do). But I will say that Paul during this period generally seems to have had trouble reading John and his emotions.

• Yoko on John and Paul (from the book John Lennon: The Life by Philip Norman, which Yoko later revoked her endorsement from)

From chance remarks he had made, she [Yoko] gathered there had even been a moment when—on the principle that bohemians should try everything—he had contemplated an affair with Paul, but had been deterred by Paul’s immovable heterosexuality. Nor, apparently, was Yoko the only one to have picked up on this. Around Apple, in her hearing, Paul would sometimes be called John’s Princess. She had also once heard a rehearsal tape with John’s voice calling out “Paul … Paul …” in a strangely subservient, pleading way. “I knew there was something going on there,” she remembers. “From his point of view, not from Paul’s. And he was so angry at Paul, I couldn’t help wondering what it was really about.”

Comment: I've already talked about how problematic and ambiguous this passage is but the basic gist of it is quite clear: Yoko felt justified in suspecting John had sexual feelings for Paul. She had reason to believe she wasn't the only one suspecting this.

Misc. other things John (allegedly) said on this topic:

• Yoko on her and John discussing the terms of an open marriage in 1973 (John Lennon: The Life)

There was even some discussion, albeit not very serious, of whether he should stick to his own gender. “John said ‘It would hurt you like crazy if I made it with a girl. With a guy, maybe you wouldn’t be hurt, because that’s not competition. But I can’t make it with a guy because I love women too much, and I’d have to fall in love with the guy and I don’t think I can.’”

Comment: It's odd of John to suggest going out with a man if he doesn't actually want to, isn't it? We're also missing any hint of how Yoko reacted to the suggestion so this passage is eyebrow-raising to say the least. Especially given that Yoko appears to have had suspicions about John and Paul. It's not unreasonable to assume he backed out the moment Yoko showed some resistance towards the idea.

• John mixing up pronouns when reflecting on his partnership with Yoko (1971 Peter McCabe/Robert D. Schonfeld)

And it was like finding gold or something. To find somebody that you can go and get pissed with, and have exactly the same relationship as any mate in Liverpool you’d ever had, but also you could go to bed with him, and – it could stroke your head when you felt tired, or sick, or depressed. It could also be Mother. And obviously, that’s what the male-female – you know, you could take those roles with each other. And if the intellect’s there, [and] you know, compatible, well it’s just like – we’re in the pools.

Comment: I don't usually like to put too much weight on misspeaking because I think it happens without much reason most of the time. However, John saying "him" and then switching to "it", and not bothering to explicitly correct himself is interesting. He also barely falters, doesn't laugh about the mistake. It doesn't appear to be a normal instance of misspeaking to me because of this.

• John talking about what he aspired to be as a teen (I'm not actually sure what interview this clip originates from but it appears to be from 1975)

I was thinking, if only I could get out of Liverpool, be famous and rich, that would be great. I’ve always wanted to be a famous artist, you know? Possibly I’d have to marry a very rich old lady… or man, you know… to… to look after me while I did my art. But then Rock & Roll came and I thought ‘Ah, this is the one’, so I didn’t have to marry anybody or live with them, you know?

Comment: John openly suggesting he wanted to marry a man at some point.

• John in an interview during the "Lost Weekend" on all the press coverage his split from Yoko was getting at the time. (December 1975 interview with Lisa Robinson)

Yes, all your best friends let you know what's going on. I was trying to put it 'round that I was gay, you know– I thought that would throw them off... dancing at all the gay clubs in Los Angeles, flirting with the boys... but it never got off the ground.

Comment: Here, he is openly admitting to wanting people to think he is gay. It does seem to be quite a jokey tone though. Still, not the most common joke for straight people to make.

• John, interviewing himself, bringing up bisexuality (Andy Warhol's magazine, 1974)

Q. I’m sorry. Just a few more questions MR. LENNON, I’m sure you understand I have a deadline… my editor… etc..

A. Alright then, GET ON WITH IT!

Q. Have you ever fucked a guy?

A. Not yet, I thought I’d save it til I was 40, life begins at 40 you know, tho I never noticed it.

Q. It is trendy to be bisexual and you’re usually 'keeping up with the Jones’, haven’t you ever… there was talk about you and PAUL…

A. Oh, I thought it was about me and Brian Epstein… anyway I’m saving all the juice for my own version of THE REAL FAB FOUR BEATLES STORY etc.. etc..

Q. It seems like you’re saving quite a lot for when you’re 40..

Comment: Honestly, the awareness of bisexuality currently being trendy and bringing it up is extremely interesting to me, as someone who has accused myself of faking my own sexuality for attention. It makes it seem like this is not something he took lightly, even if he is joking about it here.

There's also something on Tony Manero who openly claimed John came onto him multiple times and called him bisexual but I've heard that people have had trouble confirming he's a real person I think (?), so I didn't include it. You can read his account here though.

As I've said, this list isn't comprehensive, there's a few more anecdotes that I've either seen people mention but haven't come across the original source yet or stuff other people see as compelling evidence that I don't agree is relevant. Also, of course, I might have forgotten some things.

Here's some other places you can check out, off the top of my head:

My John speculation tag

My John-Paul speculation tag

My John-Brian tag

@thecoleopterawithana's "I'm not a homosexual" tag

@amoralto's oh john and awkward best friend talk placeholder tags

[brrahbrrahcharacterimagines]

Groceries (Might Guy x Reader)

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Might Guy x Reader

Word Count: 2723

Warnings: very minor angst, food mentions (TW for EDs)

A/N: Hope you enjoy! I've been so thirsty for Naruto characters recently it's not even funny

Also, this was originally two parts but I've combined them into one so let me know if the transition doesn't work!

Growing up in Konoha you always felt safe. You knew there were experienced shinobi there to protect you. As a little girl, you would see them walk down the streets and watch in awe as they passed by you.

Despite everything you had seen in terms of violence, you still felt safe in the Leaf Village. There had been some tense battles, but the leaf shinobi always prevailed.

It was a day more peaceful than most as you made your way down to the store. You only needed a few things, but with the nice weather you decided to take advantage of the day instead of waiting for the grocery list to get longer.

Smiling, you walked into the store to the tune of children laughing and birds chirping. It was like you were in a movie.

You made your way down the aisles, picking up the items you needed as you went. Milk, eggs, noodles, and more went into the small cart in your hands as you browsed. Lost in your own world, you didn't see the other cart as it came around the corner at the same time as your own.

The carts crashed into each other, you and the other person with them. It almost winded you, both from surprise and the force of falling into the cart.

"I am so sorry!" You explained, looking up to the man you found in front of you. Luckily, neither of your groceries seemed to have sustained much damage. You found yourself surprised to be met with the most gorgeous dark eyes you had ever seen.

"It's no problem!" Said the man, flashing you a confident smile with a thumbs up. "No damage done."

You felt a hot flush rise to your face, but thankfully the man didn't seem to notice.

"Thank you," you said in a fluster. You weren't sure what you were even thanking him for, not yelling at you? It was then that you took notice of his outfit, especially the band around his waist. "Are you a shinobi?"

The smile stayed ever-present on his face.

"Yes I am! A jonin of the Hidden Leaf Village!"

If you had just half the enthusiasm of this man, you think you would be running on empty in less than five minutes. Hearing he was a jonin, you were impressed.

"Well, thank you for all that you do," you offered, moving to continue your shopping.

Although your interaction was brief, you couldn't stop thinking about it as days passed. Something about his eyes, and his confidence, drew you into him. You tried to brush it off, seeing as it was such a simple interaction, but it was impossible. Even trying to tell yourself that he didn't remember you wouldn't work; there was still a part of your brain that would never quiet down.

You had never minded being a civilian in Konoha. Sure, when you were younger you had thought about being a konoichi, but those were just the thoughts of a child. You never pursued it. You were happy with your career, teaching young children in subjects other than jutsu.

Despite your happiness, you began to wish that you had gone to the academy. Then you would have been able to find the man who was plaguing your thoughts. Even after that, you might have been a real option for him. You knew shinobi tended to mostly be interested in other shinobi.

You didn't know why it upset you so much. You didn't even know the man's name, and yet you were sad that you might not be his type. Feeling a bit pathetic, you found yourself in need of another grocery run. Trying to ignore the thought that you might see him again, you made your way to the store.

Sadly, at least for that persistent, gremlin part of your brain, the trip was rather uneventful. At least, until you found yourself in front of the produce.

You were trying to eat healthier, but it was hard. It wasn't that you didn't like your body, you just wanted to feel better in your own skin. As you stood there pondering, a male voice scared you from your thoughts.

"Excuse me."

You turned, disappointed to see a man with silver spikes instead of the dark bowl cut you had hoped for. You mumbled a sorry, stepping out of his way.

"Careful Kakashi," boomed another voice, "I'd keep your distance from that woman's cart if I were you."

Now that is the voice you had been hoping for.

As you turned, the tall man immediately caught your eye. You blushed at his words, remembering your initial encounter. The other man, Kakashi, looked at you with confusion. He grabbed what he needed before walking away, leaving you and the other man alone.

"So what brings you back here?" He asked. Normally you would have thought of this as awkward conversation, but your heart leapt at the opportunity to talk to him again.

You sighed, "I'm trying to decide what I want. I wanted something healthy but I didn't want to just start grabbing vegetables."

"Then you're in luck," he grinned, "I'm somewhat of an expert. Try some blueberries, they're a superfood." He grabbed a package, placing them in his own cart. "They're on me today."

You tried to protest, but he wasn't having any of it. You made your way through checkout, paying the rest of your items before meeting back up with the man.

"Thank you," you told him, looking back up at his deep eyes. Pausing for a moment, you realized something. "I don't even know your name! How could I thank you for buying these before me without even learning your name?"

The man chuckled, extending his hand out to you.

"The name's Guy," he said loudly, shaking your hand. "Would it be crazy to ask for your name in return?"

You blushed as you grabbed his hand, his grip firm yet his hands soft.

"Y/n," you told him. He smiled.

"That's a beautiful name." His words did nothing to help calm the blush on your face. You were sure he knew exactly what he was doing to you based on the color of your cheeks alone. Suddenly Guy grew rather sheepish. "I know how this is going to sound, but would you want to come by my place sometime?"

Your eyes widened. After all this time wondering what this man was really like, he was just the type to invite you into bed with him immediately? Admittedly part of you was curious, but you weren't stupid.

"Excuse me?"

Now it was his turn to blush.

"Well I know how that sounds," Guy said quickly, trying to get his words out faster than he could think. "But I just meant to make you dinner. I could show you how to cook some vegetables so that they aren't all that bad."

Immediately you felt bad for assuming the worst, offering him a small smile.

"I would like that."

He smiled back at you. Guy gave you his address as the two of you decided on a time before parting ways. You couldn't help the giddy grin that covered your face as you walked home. Your date couldn't come fast enough.

---

In the days leading up to your date with Guy, it was all you could think about. You told yourself that was fine, since you were obsessing over him already. At least now you had a reason to.

The day was finally here, and as the hours ticked away you found yourself growing more nervous. Deciding what to wear was a challenge in itself. Did you want to try to dress up nicer, or would that be too much? Yet at the same time you worried dressing too casual would give him the idea that you weren't as interested as you were.

You tried on just about everything you owned, settling for a dress that made you feel pretty. It was fancy enough to make you feel like you were trying, but still casual enough that you would be comfortable.

You looked at the clock, seeing that you still had ample time before you needed to leave. Sitting down, your mind wandered. What would tonight be like?

in your mind you ran through a myriad of scenarios. If you didn't like the food he cooked, you would have to just stomach it and hope for the best. Based on what he told you at the store though, it seemed like he would know what he was doing. Still, you worried that something would go wrong.

Above all, there was a bigger question ringing out in your mind. Would he try to kiss you? And, would you want him to?

The seconds turned to minutes as you pondered, the minutes turning into hours until it was time to go. You collected your things, making sure to grab any and all essentials before you left. You had already told your friends who you would be with, going as far as to give them the address should anything go wrong. Guy seemed like such a nice guy, but you could never be too careful.

Locking the door to your apartment behind you, you set off. It was early in the evening, and the sun was just beginning to set in the sky. You were thankful you wouldn't have to walk in the dark. You knew there were plenty of shinobi around, hell, you were even meeting one right now. But even then you felt uncomfortable walking home alone at night, surrounded by darkness.

It was a shorter walk than you anticipated, and before you knew it you were at his place. Taking a deep breath, you reached up to knock on his door. It seemed like a nice enough part of town, and his place itself was well-kept especially considering how much time you were sure he spent on training.

You heard Guy's loud steps make their way to the doorway, pausing on the other side before the door swung open. His usual confident smile was on his face, but instead of moving his mouth into words he just looked at you. You felt yourself growing red under his gaze.

"Hello Guy," you said softly, looking up at him.

-

Guy had been making the same amount of preparations as you, if not even more. He planned the meal out carefully, even practicing it the night before to make sure it went well. He had spent more time than usual perfecting his hair, making sure not a single strand would be out of place. He had even thought of exactly what he wanted to say when he opened the door.

Hello Y/n, he would say as he smiled at you. You look more beautiful every time I see you.

Sure, it was more forward than he had been with you before. This was a date after all, and he wanted to make how he felt about you clear from the start.

That plan went right out the window when he saw you, your sundress captivating him. It looked so cute on you, and at the same time there was something about it that sent a wave of tingles between his legs. To put it simply, he was speechless.

He knew he should say something but he couldn't, enraptured by the way you looked in his doorway.

"Hello Guy," you said to him. That sweet voice of yours would drive him crazy someday, and he knew that. He loved hearing his name fall from your lips, hoping it would be far from the last time. Everything about you made him fall for you more.

Despite his thoughts about your voice, your words were enough to stir him to action himself.

"Hey," he said.

Really Guy? He thought to himself. You're the Blue Beast, a strong shinobi. And yet all you can say to a woman is 'hey'?

You giggled at him, and he felt a smile creep onto his face.

"It's good to see you again," he continued. He decided to dial back the forwardness, realizing he had already kept you waiting outside for too long in his daze. "Come on in."

-

You followed Guy into his home, taking in the delicious aroma filling the rooms.

"I don't know what you're making," you stated, "but it smells amazing."

Guy beamed with pride, ushering you over to the kitchen.

"It's my favorite." He told you. "A spicy, vegetable curry."

Thankfully, you didn't mind spicy. In fact, you enjoyed it. Your mouth watered, taking in the sight and smell of the food in front of you.

"Actually, it should be just about done." Said Guy, stirring it all for a final time before putting it onto beautiful dishes to serve.

He had already set the table, candles and all. He pulled the chair out for you, pushing you back in as if you weighed nothing. He sat across from you, and the way he smiled at you made you weak in the knees. It's a good thing you had already sat down.

You wasted no time, digging in. And it was delicious.

"Oh my god Guy," you said in near disbelief at how good it was. You could see his expression perk up. "This is amazing!"

"I'm glad you like it," he chuckles, eating his own.

The rest of the meal went off without a hitch. You talked about your job and his, bonding over your love for your respective students.

"Maybe sometime I can come watch one of your training sessions," you mentioned. "I would love to see you teach them."

Guy smiled, "I would love that." The sincerity in his tone took you by surprise. While you knew he was never joking with you, there was always some sort of bravado to his speech that now was missing.

You helped him clean up despite his protests. You told him that if he cooked, you would at least clean up. It was only fair, after all. You scrubbed the dishes, oblivious to the way Guy was looking at you.

He never would have admitted it to anyone but himself, but he was falling in love with you. He had no problem picturing a life with you. Coming up to you at the end of the day, sharing a meal together. He wanted everything that life would bring him.

"Well," you said, finishing up, "I should probably get going."

"Let me walk you," insisted Guy. "A lady such as yourself should never walk alone at night."

He offered his arm to you, and you accepted it with a shy smile. You could feel his prominent muscles under the fabric of his outfit, and you could feel your face growing warmer. You were thankful for the darkness for obscuring your face from him, hoping he couldn't tell.

He could tell.

As the two of you made your way back towards your own apartment he would flex his muscles every so often, loving the way your face would flush. A couple of times he timed it right so that you were speaking, making you stutter.

The walk ended much earlier than either of you would have liked it to. Suddenly your heart started racing. You could answer your questions from earlier clearly.

Would he try to kiss you?

You sure hoped so.

Would you want him to?

Definitely.

You paused in your doorway, letting go of Guy's arm. You looked up at him, flashing him a genuine smile.

"I had fun tonight."

He reciprocated your own expression with a smile of his own, "me too."

You both paused for what seemed like the longest second in the world. It was as if he was building up the courage to actually go through with what he wanted to. He cleared his throat.

"Y/n, may I kiss you?"

You nodded your head and he lowered his lips to yours slowly. As you pressed your own lips to his you couldn't help the gasp that escaped them.

That's a sound I'll keep replaying... thought Guy.

He pulled away sooner than you would have liked, but he was a gentleman.

"I'll see you soon." Guy ended his sentence with a wink, sauntering off as you went to go inside.

"I can't wait."

[miomines]

the newlyweds act • villain au

previous

this is more self indulgent oc time. there's actually a genshin character we know who shows up!! it's still mostly tao and darling tho. im weirdly attached to this au now. idk if anyone else likes it that much but i will still write it for myself at least. anyways if u read this then enjoy

"The next big job would be in Inazuma, but we'd have to take a boat to get there," Tao sighs as they flop down to sit next to you. "It would be hard to find someone to take us over there without anyone looking into us."

"I'd rather not be stuck in the middle of the ocean in case anyone finds out who I am, thank you," you say. You adjust the mask on your face, still unused to the weight of it. "I should get a haircut or something."

"Haircut?" Tao tilts their head as they lean into your side. "Why?"

"I should make myself look different from the statues. Maybe I won't die of heatstroke that way," you shake your head. You're still somewhat baffled at the entire situation. It seems absurd and you can't entirely believe you're actually living it.

"Makes sense," they hum as they stretch out their arms. "Are you willing to test our chances in Mondstadt? I'd enjoy having a nice place to sleep for once."

"Do you even sleep?" You scoff, but you're only filled with amusement. You pull yourself up to stand as you look around. "It would be nice to see Mondstadt when I'm not being attacked."

"Mingyu is going to protest," Tao grins as they stand. "He's not here though, he doesn't get a say in where we're staying."

"He'll just have to deal with the aftermath." You snicker as Tao nods. "He's going to complain so much. I'm going to blame it all on you."

"What?" Tao whines as you pull them along to walk beside you. "He'll never leave me alone! You're so mean to me," they pout. It makes you laugh.

"You're the one who suggested we go to Mondstadt," you point out.

"You're the one who agreed to it," Tao shoots back. You roll your eyes and they just sulk. For a demon, Tao is awfully childish sometimes. It's endearing though.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Where's our next destination after Mondstadt? No Inazuma, we're basically sitting ducks there." Tao sighs dramatically and you snicker, poking them in the side.

"I'll have to think about it more. Any other jobs that I know of right now aren't the best for us. I need to figure out the second best one," Tao says with a small frown. "I'm not as strong as other demons. It takes me a while to gather all the information we need. It's why I want to stay in Mondstadt for at least one night. I'll be able to seek out information better."

"Demons are weird," you comment. You laugh when they pout at you. "You're okay though. I just don't really get it."

"It's not really something I can explain to regular people. Even Mingyu doesn't understand it entirely, but he understands the basics of it," Tao hums as they look off into the distance. They're deep in thought, a serious expression on their face. 

You nod even if they don't look over to see. You both fall silent, Tao deep in thought while you carefully guide both of you to the city. It's a bit anxiety inducing, going into a city, but you know that you'll be fine. Tao might not be as strong as other demons, but from what you know, there's no other demons in Mondstadt. A weak demon is still stronger than a normal human being.

Tao seems to come back to reality when you first step onto the bridge. They reach out just to tug the hood of the cloak over your head. Tao is relaxed, calm, as they walk towards the city. It makes you feel more at ease. You take a deep breath as you step into the city.

Without thinking, you reach out and take Tao's hand. They don't react besides a small squeeze of your hand as they guide you through the streets. It's late evening and you know most residents of Mondstadt are at one of the taverns. Tao seems to be leading you away from any busy parts of the city.

"-Excuse me!"

You both stiffen at the call, although Tao relaxes noticeably quicker. They squeeze your hand before they turn and greet the knight you stopped you. You try to calm your rapid heart beat as you look up.

It's the Cavalry Captain.

"Sir Kaeya, was it?" Tao hums and tilts their head. "What do you need from us at this time of night?" You try to discreetly take deep breaths to calm yourself.

"Forgive me for bothering you at this hour, especially after what was sure to be a long journey," he reaches out to shake Tao's hand. Tao is casual, calm.

"It's no issue, sir. What do you need from us?" Tao smiles as they lean into your side. Without thinking, you grab onto his arm with your other hand. Tao doesn't even blink at the extra contact.

"I'm sure you've heard of the whole… impersonator that's been running around." Kaeya sighs as if the fact burdens him. In some ways, you hope it does. "Since we haven't seen them in quite some time, most cities are now cautious of those in masks and such. It's not anything against you, we just wish for our city to stay safe from such criminals."

Tao hums with a careful frown. You can see as their mind whirrs, trying to quickly figure out a plan. "I understand, Captain," Tao says slowly. "However, my partner here uses this mask for health reasons. I don't wish to risk their health for such matters. I'm sure you understand?"

Kaeya nods slowly but the frown on his face says otherwise. He glances at you, a sharp glint in his eye that makes you want to cower behind Tao. You resist the urge and instead just lean into their side more.

"Sir Kaeya," Tao starts as they wrap an arm around your shoulder. "I know that the entirety of Teyvat is nervous about the criminal. I understand. However, your suspicions against my spouse makes me very hesitant to trust you."

Oh fuck.

Tao tilts their head with a grin, their eyes narrowing dangerously. "We have come from a journey on foot from Sumeru. We just wish to rest. My dearly beloved isn't a criminal, I can assure you this."

You feel yourself flush as you bring your hands up to cover your cheeks. Dear Celestia, is this how Mingyu felt when you teased him? You hide your face into Tao's shoulder and they hold you by your waist.

"I understand your fear, sir, but you're asking me to risk the health of my beloved. That's something I cannot do. Do you understand?"

There's a tense silence before Kaeya laughs. You sneak a peek to glance at him as he just shakes his head with a fond smile. You don't know whether or not this is a good thing.

"I apologise," Kaeya sighs as he ducks his head. "You are travellers, correct? The mask and cloak make sense now. I have been on edge and I took that out on you both. I am sorry for that."

Tao lets out an easy laugh before they suddenly kiss your forehead. You make a surprised noise (no it was not a squeak) and bury your face into their shoulder.

"I understand, Captain. No hard feelings, yes?" You can basically hear the grin in Tao's voice. "My darling here is very shy a lot of the time too. Please forgive them for not wanting to talk. We've had quite the long journey."

"I can only imagine. I do hope our interaction here doesn't sour your view of Mondstadt. We have all been very wary of new people due to this criminal wandering around."

Tao hums in agreement as they pull you closer into their arms. They rest a hand on the back of your neck and you suppress a shiver at the cold metal of the claws that lightly trace your skin. "Sir Kaeya, I apologise but we must get going. It has been a long day."

"Of course," you look up to see Kaeya shooting an apologetic smile towards you. You hesitantly acknowledge it with a small nod. "Have a wonderful stay in Mondstadt. Perhaps I'll see you two when the Windblume Festival arrives?"

Tao laughs. "The Mondstadt festival of love, yes? It sounds like a fantastic idea!" They turn to you and raise your chin up with a careful hand. "Don't you think so as well," they grin as their voice lowers, "my love?"

You sputter and reach up to drag the hood over your face. You can hear both Tao and Kaeya laugh and you flush deeply. Dear Celestia… If this was how Mingyu felt when you first did this act, then maybe you should apologise to him. You barely pay much attention to Tao's conversation, only refocusing when they're leading you away.

"Tao," you mean to say it in a warning hiss. It comes out as a whine instead. Tao's responding fond chuckle just makes you blush more.

"I think that went well!" Tao says with a grin. They have a hand on the small of your back as you both walk to the inn. "I don't think they'll bother us anymore. After all, we're on our honeymoon~"

"Is that what you told him?!" You hiss. Tao winks at you, a smug grin on his face.

"Yup~" They sing as they slide their hand around your waist. They tug you closer to them before they lean down and kiss your cheek. "We have to keep up appearances now~ Sir Kaeya also gave me a coupon for a honeymoon suite."

"A what-" You stumble over your words as Tao snickers. They squeeze their hand over your hip and you suppress a surprised noise (not a squeak).

"It's only appropriate!" Tao laughs. "My love, don't tell me you already wish for a divorce?" They cry out dramatically. If you weren't so tired you would tackle them.

"You're going to be the one who tells Mingyu," you sigh. Tao just hums happily.

"Of course, my love~"

"Would you stop-"

[megthemewlingquim]

someone new.

summary: there's an art to life's distractions.

pairing: eventual hades! loki x persephone! reader

warnings: implied smut, alcohol consumption

a/n: here it is, the first part of foreigner's god. as said in this fic's masterlist, these will not be chapters, but rather short stories and one shots that can be read separately or as one whole piece. it's up to you.

i plan to base each part off of one or two hozier songs. this is inspired by "someone new".

is there a right way to fall in love?

    that’s what loki asks himself every day — well, every night — when he spends his free time at bars and gatherings. populated widely with fellow gods, goddesses, and spirits of many colors and passions; these bars are perfect places to find someone new.

    being the god of death, however, puts loki at a bit of a disadvantage. yes, the stereotypes are, unfortunately, true. loki is dark, a little antisocial, and very quiet. beautiful in appearance — death is seductive, at least to the willing.

    ‘the willing’ being many a spirit, many a dryad or goddess or creature who wants bragging rights, or a little nightly thrill. ‘that’s right,’ they say, ‘i had a little dance with death last night.’

loki doesn’t mind the mornings when his temporary partners talk about the nights, but he always cringes when they mention that accursed french phrase — la petite mort. it’s a joke to them. a mockery.

   yet, they stay, and sometimes, they come back for another little death.

    the spirits and goddesses never make a big impact on him. he is with one for a night, then another for a night, and so on. he falls in love every day with someone new and it’s a bore. a bore and a drag.

    dark caresses don’t do much to numb the pain: the pain of loneliness and solitude. the ache in his heart is constant, tearing at his mind whenever it can. alcohol can't do much either — all gods have a very high tolerance. mead was made for them.

   so loki is left with no escape besides those that come from the willing. little deaths. they make him feel loved.

   no...

   no one loves death. some crave him. but they don't love him.

   that’s the common theme running through loki’s head every time he takes someone home with him, or goes upstairs with them to the top floors of the inns he’s at, where the bedrooms are. it’s a distraction.

   however, the cycle ends when, while pointlessly wandering around his usual bar, he sees someone new one night. you.

   you radiate this... this warmth that he’s never felt before. everyone around you seems to be affected by it too - they don’t treat you as the life of the party, but they do gravitate towards you like birds to a nest. 

    and you’re quite shy, but infectiously happy and cheerful. you’re so beautiful, with your bright eyes that he knows are wide and filled with wonder, and your lovely skin that he knows is so soft. and your smile that he knows is so comforting to all who see it.

   to everyone else, you feel like they’ve just wandered into a happy memory, or a sun-lit room that’s pleasantly warm and golden. you feel familiar. ordinary, but lovely all the same.

   to loki, you feel... feel like something he’s only experienced in dreams. so, really, he’s never felt it before in his immortal life: something warm and alive and... and anticipatory. like there’s new things about to come up to the surface — flowers, new animals, maybe. you give off a sense of... he can’t describe it well. a slow and joyful awakening something.

   and you also feel completely and utterly powerful. unstoppable. he’s terrified of you, and yet he’s drawn to you. you’re so fascinating, strange. not as if you could end the world, no, that’s his own job. but it’s as if you can bring the whole world to life, raise it back up again after the chaos fades.

   you feel like spring. like rebirth. like new life.

   and that’s when it hits him.

   persephone. he’s heard the name passed around before, but before now, he has never seen the face behind the name. something about this sparks some fear in him: how would persephone, goddess of spring, daughter of demeter, react to seeing anyone even remotely like himself?

   for a moment, he’s grateful that you’re not looking at him; you’re actually looking at the table, at the drink you’re sipping. there’s a look on your face that isn’t bored, nor afraid. maybe... observant.

   people are around you still. not crowding, but not interacting with you either. it’s like you have a bubble around you, keeping everyone from getting too close. maybe it’s your doing but maybe it’s theirs. honestly, you’d think that dryads and gods and goddesses and spirits of all forms and colors and subjects would be more accepting.

   he pities you. you seem lonely.

   loki takes a few steps forward, betraying his own fear. like the red sea, the crowd parts. some are bold and unafraid, and they give loki varying looks: disgusted, seductive, snarky. you don’t notice him until he sits down in front of you, at the other end of the table.

   “hi,” he says calmly. he manages a small smile. “you’re new here, aren’t you?”

   your eyes lift to lock with his own. immediately, you recoil just the slightest bit. he knows what you’re thinking: wait, that’s hades! god of death... wh-why is he talking to me?

   “it’s alright,” he soothes. “don’t worry. you’ve probably heard of all the stories: gods kidnapping and doing terrible things to goddesses and spirits and dryads. i’m not here to do any of that. i promise.”

   with a single, somewhat confused blink, you nod. “m-my mother has told me a lot about that stuff,” you say slowly, as if saying anything too revealing will somehow alert demeter and get you in trouble. “she’s... she’s terrified...”

   “what is she terrified of? that those terrible things might happen to you?”

   “yes,” you say. “she’s told me that she’s had nightmares in the past. specifically about you. how you’ll kidnap me and take me to hell to live with you.”

   he laughs at that - a rich, amused laugh that takes the shivers out of you. “that’s bullshit. overprotective mothers, yeah?”

   you shrug. “she loves me.”

   “and are you afraid of me, princess?” the last word is whispered. his voice extremely soft - it’s a curious question.

   he notices how you lick your lips. “no,” you say. he notices how your eyes flick all over him. “no, i’m not.” and you seem truthful.

   “smart girl,” he says with a grin. “i hate liars. there’s not a god on in the world that’s ever been truthful. well, besides jesus. yahweh. whatever you wanna call him.” loki leans back, crossing his hands behind his head and bringing his feet up to the table. “your father, though... he’s the worst of ‘em. having children with other women, including your mother, while hera has to sit by and watch, and then lying about it.”

   “we’re gods,” you say. “i'm not trying to justify things but... we’re far from perfect.”

   “damn right we are. we’re fucked up. good. we can agree on something. most days, people think us gods are... perfect things. role models. and, maybe some are. but not us. not the gods of olympus.”

   he pauses, takes a swig from a beer bottle that was not in his hand a few seconds ago. “i was wondering if you wanted to do what humans do.” loki winces at the awkwardness. “when they're... y'know. interested in someone.”

   “you're interested... in me?” you ask, incredulously.

   “yeah, i am.” one sip of beer has loosened his tongue. or maybe that's just his confidence soaring now. “maybe this hasn't been the best introduction to things but i would love to take you out sometime. show you things.”

   “my —” you swallow. “i'd get in trouble.” you shrink away just a bit.

   his smile fades and it's replaced with a sadder, more sincere look. “the best things in life have risk to them. it's time i show you that.”

   and really, he does feel sorry for you. it's your first time at a bar, you're lonely. no friends as far as he can tell. an overprotective goddess mother.

   “think of it this way. i think you're very pretty and i like your honesty. i would like to help you see the world, and to have a little fun, since your mother has obviously never let you do anything in your very, very long life.”

   “i'm twenty—one.”

   “and now i'm wondering if demeter actually has you tell people that, as if you're a teenage mortal.” loki shakes his head, disappointed. “that's pathetic. you're a bajillion years old. you're a goddess! you should be able to do whatever the fuck you want, right?”

   when there's no answer from you, he sighs. leans forward to sit normally, putting both of his elbows on the table and pointing his hands at you. “alright. i'll roll with it for now. you're twenty—one. i guess. you can drink. you can go out alone to bars and other places. you can meet new people. you're an adult. think about that.

   “so, again. i think you're very pretty and i wanna show you around. get to know you. would you like to do that with me?” he raises his eyebrows a little, waiting for a response.

   it's an eternity before you can win a battle in your mind. slowly, you nod, giving him a smile. “yeah,” you whisper. “yeah, i would. thank you.”

   “don't thank me just yet, sweetheart. i haven't shown you anything yet.” he gets up, pushes his chair in.

   before he leaves, he winks at you. “call me loki. it's... not as dreadful... as hades. and... what do i call you?”

   you say your name, your voice quiet.

   “much better than persephone, i think. it suits you. we'll keep in touch, ok?”

   “okay,” you say. butterflies are flying rapidly in your stomach.

   loki leaves you there. he'd much rather take you back to your home himself, but that would be too risky for the time being. for now, he walks out of that bar feeling like the king of the world.