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#obviously I don't check my messages enough
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BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD! Once you are given this award you're supposed to paste it in the asks of 8 people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing happens, but it's sweet to know someone thinks you're beautiful inside and out!
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beingatoaster · 5 months
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"Why did you block me from following your fandom Tumblr?"
Because a) you put that you're a minor in your header or pinned post, and I don't like knowingly having minors follow me, and/or b) I am listed in your DNI in some capacity and I'd rather avoid potential discourse.
(And if your DNI says "adults don't interact," I am going to laugh at you before I block you.)
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sturnsslut · 4 months
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better - matt sturniolo
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a/n - this is a filler until i’m done with my chris smut 😔. i’m sorry there’s a lot of yapping but the backstory matters !
contains - soft dom!matt x sub!reader, fighting (barley), unprotected sex, mirror sex, praise, fingering, begging, oral
summary - reader and matt make a bet !
————————————————————————————
‘ i seen your love, you got me baby ‘
it was a friday night and my boyfriend had just canceled on me last minute for the 3rd time this week. i was literally all dressed up, waiting for him to come and pick me up. i sighed when i read his message saying that he " had something come up "
bullshit.
i had a feeling he had been cheating on me for a while, but i didn't have any solid proof so i just stayed quiet. i was about to get into my pajamas when i got a text from nick saying how theyre having a party at their house tonight , and how matt would pick me up.
nick 💗
HEY
we're having a party tn
can you come
pleaseeeeee
matt can pick you up
i feel like i haven't seen you in forever
you
nick it's been 4 days 😭
but i mean
let me see
i pulled out my phone to text liam, my boyfriend . i had to make sure that we really weren't going out , so i was just double checking.
liam
Can't go
Something came up
you
bro what ??
im literally ready
why tf is this just now being brought up
liam
I don't know what you want me to do lmfao
you
im going to nicks party then
liam
Says who?
Your staying at the house
you
why are you being weird 💀
yes i am
lmfao ok dad
liam
That fucking matt kid
Your always looking at him
And he looks at you like he's
in love or some shit so no your not going
you
bro
u can't be serious
i never look at him
liam
K well
i don't want you close enough to him
so that there's even a chance something could happen
you
k.
read 10:39 pm
i laughed and rolled my eyes, he really thinks he's in control of me...i scrolled back to nicks contact and texted him
you
come get me 😝
nick
YAYYYY
we're like 5 mins away
can we come in so i can say hi to ur cat
you
omfg 😭 yea
im ready anyways cause
ofc my bf cancelled on me again
nick
girl.
you can do better
i feel like everyone knows
he's cheating on you...
you
yea me to
i just don't have any proof yet
anyways lmk when ur here
nick
okay
we're like abt to pull up
you
doors unlocked 😛
i waited until i saw their van in my driveway, and opened the door watching them walk up to my porch
immediately hugged nick and chris, but i just smiled at matt and he returned the gesture.
there had always been something, weird between me and matt. it wasn't friendship, but it wasn't hate either. it was weird.
i led nick to my room and picked up my cat, kiko, handing her to him
i walked out of my room to see chris sitting on the couch and matt just leaning against the door on his phone, like he couldn't wait to leave.
“uh you know you can sit down matt...” i said awkwardly, causing him to look up from his phone and just respond with “i know”
i shrugged it off and went back to my room where i'd left nick, and asked him what he thought of my outfit.
i asked him if he thought it was ' too formal ' for a party since it was originally an outfit for my date.
i was wearing a short black dress with spaghetti straps, my hair down and some light makeup
“girl you look hot. don't change” i smiled and went to the bathroom to touch up my makeup a little, once i was done i grabbed my bag and asked nick if we're ready to go “you ready?” i questioned, putting my bag on my arm
“yeah let's go” he said before saying bye to kiko and putting her down
“come on guys” nick said walking out of my room, resulting in everyone making their way to the door.
once we got into the van i was in the back , with nick while chris and matt were up front obviously. on the way there, i just had the urge to look up from my phone
i looked up and caught matt starring at me through the rearview mirror, he immediately looked away once he saw me though.
we eventually got to the triplets house and it was already packed. we all got out of the van and while we were making our way to the door, i asked nick “you let all these people here without you guys home?”
“yeah, justin and nate are here so it should be fine.”
i hummed in response and walked behind nick and chris, with matt behind me for some reason.
nate opened the door and dapped up matt after i walked in, and i heard him say “hot date bro”
“she's not my date” matt replied sounding slightly annoyed. nate raised a brow in confusion
“then…why..were you walking behind her? and starring at her ass, like, the entire time you were walking up…me and justin literally saw you through the window.”
i turned my head around for a quick second to see matt shushing nate and punching him (sort of) playfully on the shoulder
i felt my cheeks heat up, but why? why did i care how matt was looking at me? whatever.
i made my way to the kitchen where nick and chris were, we just gossiped about random shit.
nick was talking to chris and while i waited for my turn to speak, i looked around and saw...my boyfriend? what? he said he had an emergency?
and of course, he was making out with some skanky bitch from my school who knew we'd been dating.
i told nick i'll be right back and made my way over.
“fuck you. family emergency?? your fucking unbelievable.” i shoved him then faced the girl “and bitch as for you, he's gonna do the same shit hes doing to me right now. you aren't gonna fucking last.”
he looked totally wasted and was slurring his words, but i heard him say “you were just a good fuck. get over it.”
i looked at him in disbelief for a moment before i said something back “can't say the same for you. you have a small dick.” and with that, i walked off.
tons of people were starring at me of course, but i was too mad to even care. i made my way to the bathroom to calm down, before i heard a knock on the door.
“what the fuck do you want” i blurted out without even thinking who it could be.
“um..it's matt, can i come in?” i instantly covered my mouth feeling bad about how i had spoken to him
i unlocked the door and opened it, letting him in. “i'm sorry. i didn't know who it was” i apologized
“no no, it's okay. i just wanted to check on you and see if your okay.”
i sighed and sat down on the toilet seat while he leaned against the wall in front of the mirror
“i mean..not really, just pissed at how much time and energy i wasted on him.”
he stayed silent and didn't say anything, waiting for me to finish what i was saying “i knew he was cheating but i didn't wanna believe it, i feel fucking stupid” i continued
“your not stupid” he shrugged and continued “he's stupid for loosing someone like you.” i thanked him and sighed, resting my head in my hands
“and…if he has a small dick he's nothing to cry over” he smiled
i laughed, “he wasn't even good in bed either oh my god.” i added and laughed
"really?” matt turned his head to look at me, furrowing his brows for a second and smiling, while crossing his arms
“yeah. sorry if this is too much but like..i never finished when i was with him” i giggled at the embarrassing confession
he laughed and paused for a moment before saying “you would if you were with me”
i giggled thinking he was joking, and replied with “doubt it”
matt raised his eyebrows and locked the door, “wanna bet?”
that's when i realized he wasn't joking, i stood up and leaned against the sink infront of him " how much " i smirked at him
“ $50. i know how to use my hands, mouth, and dick. im confident i could make you cum, that's a promise.”
“fine, prove it then” i said nodding my head
“don't start shit you can't finish. im serious.” he said looking me in my eyes
“so am i, i wanna see if you can put your money where your mouth is”
“ y/n ,” he said smiling and shaking his head , leaning into me, resting one of his hands on the sink
“matt.” i responded teasingly
he grabbed my hand and placed it onto his dick, making me feel his giant boner
“you see what your doing to me? i will fuck you until you can't even remember his name.”
“do it then” i smirked, ' he's all talk ' is what i was thinking, until he firmly placed his lips on mine
it was quick to turn sloppy, he picked me up and set me on the edge of the sink so i was perfectly aligned with his dick
he started making his way down slowly by leaving hickeys all down my neck, i wrapped my fingers in his hair and tugged it slightly, but not too hard
that's when he lifted up my dress and placed one of his hands on my waist, while the other rubbed my clit through my underwear
he was looking me in my face but i was so needy for more of him, that i couldn't even look him in the eyes.
“what? you can't take it anymore?” he smirked at me, still making eye contact and then inching his hand fully down my panties sticking two fingers inside me
(guys i giggled at panties but i didn't know what other word to use)
i bit my lip slightly taking a deep breath in at the amount of pleasure i was in. even tho all he did was tease me, it felt amazing. like he had this power over me.
he started moving his fingers slow, but picked up the pace fast. i threw my head back in pleasure, while my hands grabbed at his shoulders.
fuck. maybe he could make me cum after all .
as good as it felt, i needed a break because if he fingered me for any longer, i would've lost $50.
i grabbed his hand and pulled it away and hopped off of the counter, immediately getting on my knees
i began to unzip his pants when he suddenly stops me and grabs my chin, raising my head and making me look at him
“i don't know if your ready..” he said looking at me with a smirk
i rolled my eyes smiling slightly, and continued undoing his pants "okay..." he answered, throwing his hands up in surrender
i pulled his pants down to his ankles and then looked up to see his boxers, and i could obviously see his giant print
i pulled down his boxers , revealing an easy 9 inches. i started at it for a few seconds before shrugging and shoving in 6 inches or so
as i switched between my hands and my mouth, i swirled my tongue around his tip causing him to let out a low groan
“shit ..” he threw his head back in pleasure and grabbed a fistful of my hair, pushing himself further into my mouth
i felt it in the back of my throat. i heard him mumbling all types of swear words, and at that point he's basically just fucking my throat
“how was that” say standing up to face him, smirking up at him still catching my breath
“your really good” he smirked at me, before picking me up and setting me back on the sink again “your turn”
he pulls out of the kiss and bends down slightly, resting his hands on my inner thighs, spreading my legs a little
“let me do this for you, all you need to do is hold your legs up. but if you can't handle it, just put em on my shoulders, okay?” he says looking me in my eyes, all i could do at that point was just nod eagerly, hopefully showing how bad i needed him.
and with that, he starts to go down on me. i arched my back unintentionally, i don't know what came over me, but i couldn't help myself. it just felt like he belonged there
this man wasn't lying when said he knows how to make a girl beg, not even close to a lie.
i grabbed a handful of his hair and arched my back again when i felt him start to suck on my clit
i slapped my hand over my mouth, remembering how there's other people around.
he took his hand off of my thigh and removed my own hand from my mouth, “don't cover your mouth sweetheart. i wanna know if im doing good”
i shook my head in agreement and grabbed the back of his shirt, needing some sort of support
i can't explain it, but i swear i felt him smirk when i grabbed him, like he knew he was pleasing me so good.
i never knew i needed him, but i do now. his tongue felt so good on me, it just felt right.
i moaned slightly louder than before “shit…” i threw my head back and bit my lip slightly
i started whimpering out of pleasure trying to catch my breath, his tongue was going everywhere and somehow he made every spot feel amazing .
i felt myself get close, but i needed to feel him inside of me. “wait wait wait” i mumbled trying to catch my breath
“what is it baby?” he said looking up at me “ i…fuck hold on.” said panting
“ i want you to fuck me , please matt.” i said in between breaths
“how bad?” he said smirking at me and looking me in my eyes, “tell me how bad you want me.”
“i need you so bad, please” i pleaded, i just wanted him in me and nothing else, him and him only is all i needed.
“good girl.” and with that, he fully stood up and grabbed his dick
he held his tip up to my entrance, running his head up and down my folds causing whimpers to leave both of our mouths. he knowing how bad he was teasing me, but this man was rock hard.
“matt, i want you to fuck me and i know you do to , stop teasing please” i was literally begging this man to just destroy me
he shrugged “i'll try not to stretch you out too much sweetheart.” and with that, he pushed himself inside me without warning, and wow i wasn't ready.
it's like i was so horny i forgot how big he was.
he shoved all of his length inside me , all 9 inches. i cried out in pleasure
he placed his hands on my waist so he could go deeper and guide me , “oh fuck” i muttered and immediately clamped my eyes shut
that's when i felt matt's hand on my chin, making me look at him. “look at me, i wanna see how good i make you feel . do i make you feel good, pretty?”
“mhm” i whimpered and shook my head because i couldn't even speak.
“use your words baby. do i?” he spoke firmly, still not breaking eye contact
“yes, yes you make me feel good” i mumbled
“good.” he spoke in a fierce tone as his tip hit my g-spot perfectly each time, making me throw my head back
i heard him say “hey baby, you wanna take off that dress?” he suggested
i nodded while he pulled out and i hopped off of the sink, slipping my dress off
i looked over at matt who was literally starring down my body, “what?” giggled getting flustered
“nothing…you just amaze me. your body is so perfect” he said, still starring me down
i laughed and rolled my eyes and asked if he was ready again, “for you, always. are you?” he emphasized
i bent over the sink and replied “obviously.” he snickered and grabbed my hips, making sure he was perfectly aligned.
i felt him pound himself into me, which, i again for some reason still wasn't used to how big he is.
i had my hands on the sink for support, and when he put himself inside me, i put my head down because it felt so good
that's when i felt matt's hand on my chin again and lifted up my head , looking at me through the mirror.
“uh uh. i want you to see how good your taking me.”
i nodded looking at him in the mirror
i watch him look down and smile while furrowing his brows
“you didn't tell me you had a back tattoo baby . it looks good”
“you never ..” i paused as i struggled to get my words out “shit!...asked me” i whined, almost too loudly
“fair enough ..oh fuck” he threw his head back and his thrusting started to get more aggressive
his hand crept up to my neck, placing a firm grip on my neck which sent me over the edge
“matt..baby i can't do it” i said shaking my head while looking at him in the mirror
“yes you can, take it like you said you would.” i nodded and did as he told me
i suddenly felt that knot in my stomach, so i reached behind me and grabbed matts hand from my waist and put it on the sink so that his hand was over mine, and we interlocked our fingers
“you alright? are you gonna cum already? come on, your too easy to please baby .” he asked in a teasing tone, looking at me and smirking
like of course i was. and he obviously knew, he just thought that it was funny to tease me.
“fuck ..matt im gonna-“ i was cut off by me releasing onto his dick, “oh shit” said looking down, i was relieved that a man had actually made me finish, but now i needed to give matt $50 i didn't have ...
“good job baby, you did great” he was literally panting at this point. i could tell was close, just trying not to show it.
i decided to tease a little and see how long he could last.
“you make me feel so good baby” i said looking at him in the mirror
“thats g..fuck” he threw his head back and starting thrusting harder
“you look so good from here” i teased a little more since he thinks when he does it, it's hilarious. i saw him open this mouth to say something but instead just bite the side of his cheek and stay quiet
“i don't care how long it takes you baby, my body is all yours.”
“fuck .. mm oh shit ...in or out”
without answering, i got on my knees and began to jerk him off to his release while looking up at him
“oh shit. fuck..fuck” he lets out a huge loud of cum and i swallow, i dont need a mess.
i get back up and try my best to fix my hair while looking at myself in the mirror, while matt's leaning against the wall panting
i pickup my shoes without even bothering to put them back on , i just re-adjust my dress and forget about everything else.
my hair is all out of place, my lipstick is smeared, my mascara running down my face..i was a mess. but it was totally worth it.
i sit on the toilet seat while matt puts his pants back on.
“i don't need the $50.” matt said suddenly smiling at me, “you ready? you still look good by the way.”
“whatever. let's go” i laughed and rolled my eyes, opening the door
“liam's gonna be so pissed.” i laughed looking back at matt
“i know” he smiled “can't wait to see the look on his face.”
i giggled as we made our way over to liam, who was making out with a different girl.
we stood infront of him and looked at eachother laughing, and as soon as we did we opened his eyes and looked like he'd just seen a ghost
“hi” i said in a teasing voice, tilting my head while doing so
“what the fuck?” he looked back at me and matt in confusion, furrowing his brows like he didn't know what was going on.
“yea so you were kinda right about me and matt ...” i said trying not to burst out laughing
“you fucking whore!” he yelled, gaining the attention of tons of people. they started recording the situation because of how loud he was. “i knew you were cheating on me you slimy little b-“ he got cut off as he got sent to the floor.
matt had punched him.
i covered my mouth in shock but also resisting the urge to not laugh “your...” liam paused , feeling his nose as it gushed blood everywhere “dead.” he continued
“okay, well it's kinda hard to take that threat serious when your on ground”
everybody around us started laughing, apparently nobody liked liam , but it's obvious why.
“your not a real man! y-“ i cut him off before he could finish his sentence, “well he fucks like one. get up and get over it. truth hurts.”
i pat his shoulder and flashed him a faux sympathy smile, before he swatted my hand away causing me to laugh
we walked over to chris and nick who were recording everything on their phones “hey uh, are you guys ready to pack this up?” matt asked them
“yup, i'll get nate and justin to get everyone out.” nick said as he walked away
“dude what the fuck ...” chris giggled as he looked at me and matt " i fucking knew it! nick owes me $20".
“you..made a bet?” i asked, confused
“fuck yea we did” he replied stuffing his mouth with food before walking off
“so like..do you wanna be my girlfriend...or whatever” matt asked me, looking down at the ground
“duh.” smiled and kissed him before going to find nick so i could help clean the mess up
“we're literally never having a party again.” nick complained as we all shoved trash into trash bags
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a/n - um lmk if you wanna be on my tag list 🤗.
@mattssluttygf
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shiningmystic · 1 month
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Messages from your Spirit Guides PAC 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪
─── ─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ────── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ────── ───
Welcome friends, to your sprit guide reading whoever your guides may be they always respond to you.
I only call upon the spirits that look fondly upon you and see the being beneath all the judgement and ego, there is just essence. Unconditional love is what I always dip down to even if there are days that I cannot do it for myself, I know it is always present and that gives me much comfort on my worst days. Mental health awareness is real and always check in with yourself especially being chronically honed in on the bad shit that happens around you or is happening. Cultivating slowness is an everyday job for all of us but when we do it we do become thankful. I'm a bit rusty so forgive me if some of my words may be repetitive. Drop a follow to know when I post another general reading!
Pick your Photo:
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✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧
Pile I: colors of light 🧚🏾‍♀️
The lovers (rx), 6 of pentacles, 9 of pentacles, the heirophant (rx), 9 of wands (rx)
Back of the deck: ace of cups (rx), knight of swords, 7 of cups
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Pile one to begin, your guides sent me images of the sun peering through glass and reflecting rainbow colors which really makes me feel as though you are a deep person but from day to day you may feel dull. Your guides are reminding you, sending you messages of your inner light and how it shines out even if you hide it and reflects back in people places or things. There is a lot about beauty here and how to stay genuine to yourself; your beauty is unique and comparing your beauty to someone else’s is a crime against them and you. If you genuinely don’t think you’re beautiful on outside, then there are always ways to work with what we have when we are ready to tackle it (honestly sometime i need to cry it out). Now on with the card pull:
Wow, I feel a lot going on with so many messages, I’ll try and keep it concise.
First message: you will always be enough is a huge message. It doesn’t matter even if they left you, even if someone who you loved told you that you were too much or even feeling that way towards yourself and your guides do not agree. The more we believe that the more we hurt ourselves and continue to prove it right. Even if you are ‘too much’ there are people out there that would disagree. - huge lesson I’m learning is that two truths can exist at the same space even if they oppose the other. For example, when I talk about my trauma, I feel vulnerable and fearful yet after the fact I feel both emotions, strong and weak. Both fear and strength. You are not to much and even if they couldn’t handle you, your a whole lot of love and light especially from the energy from the image.
Message two: some of you are away from family or your country, things are changing and it’s overwhelming in many ways. There is a lot of choices and a lot of overwhelming feelings towards making them. Your guides are advising you to trust in yourself and ignore the voices around that do not harbor understanding. Trust in your own judgment and believe in what you’re doing because it is your life and your actions that shape it; you will be the one living with it so always believe in yourself, you know what’s best for you and even when we make that mistake, we need a gentle reminder that mistakes are apart of success. if you don't give yourself the space to learn then you will continue to never know what is for you.
Message three: it’s always you pile one that always gets the message to be kinder to yourself; life isn’t a strict fast paced all or nothing (obviously life is very hard now for many.) but your guides are reminding you life will have its downs and if you can’t take time for those downs then they will be crashes. I’m feeling loved ones coming through this pile, so just know your guides understand your struggle and want to remind you as well that they are always with you.
Lots of burn out energy, you are so strong, please believe me when I say you are enough.
To the lovely humans who broke up with someone or let go of a person who you love but was toxic, you did the right thing for yourself, i send you love my love.
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Pile II: Stepping stones ☄️
8 of cups, the hierophant, 7 of cups (rx), ace of pentacles, temperance, the moon
Back of the deck: queen of wands and 2 of cups (rx)
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Right now you’re stepping up to the unknown, it’s natural to be fearful of risk. Pile 2 I sense that good things will come to you when you make the choice, even with hesitation don’t doubt the choices you have already made. all we can do is what we know now. the effort you put into your work will pour back into you. I can sense a lot of hesitation but still moving forward and that takes courage! Your guides are proud of you stepping up to the plate.
I can see some people going back to school and graduating scared that they will never find stability. Some of you are taking chances and starting businesses especially creative ones (relatable content). Your guides are supporting you on your financial endeavors and know the future feels scary for many.
It’s very unstable in many places right now so I understand the confusion and the fear but the pendulum always swings back and things always go back into balance again even by force (which we shouldn’t let it to come to an extreme but whatever.) You are strong people but this creativity needs to be grounded in reality when it comes to money; be realistic and continue with your motivated attitude towards your endeavors. honestly some of you are and are focusing to hard on the little details, relax and just do what's in front of you.
Believe in yourself pile 2. You have grown to doubt yourself and abilities at times because of push back and it’s actually super healthy for intelligent people to question themselves but to much self doubt only leaves us frozen. Now is the time to go ahead and shine!
The energy for you is ripe with opportunities your guides are saying go ahead, take the calculated risk, do the thing you want to but just know take time to do it with love and integrity you will succeed.
The moon and the 7 of cups reverse tell me about your doubt, anxiety and not knowing what may happen is the worst but life is all about the mystery and discovering your path. dear wanderer, not all souls who walk a lonely path are lost, maybe you'll run into another.
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Pile III: Glowing mushrooms 🍄
Page of cups, Death, The Emperor, King of pentacles, strength (rx), Ace of pentacles, 4 of pentacles, Page of Swords
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Your path to transformation takes determination and strength, but understand the power is within you and how you have gotten far.
Mushrooms are pretty crazy! They grow in so many places and are resilient; I’m not saying you’re a mushroom (even though honestly, it’s a vibe) but your guides are bringing it up. Every photo is connected to the pile it is above and yours is about your strength and resilience (pile 2 as well but it's much more emphasized here).
I mean so many people are keeping it together right now and you’re no different but I feel an extra sprinkle of shit being thrown your way recently or this could be a theme. Keep doing what you’re doing is a message for many but to keep taking the steps to this new life and I mean new life. I don’t mean moving away and starting over (unless that resonates) but you are changing it up, starting new habits and new routines, taking steps constantly at a different pace but never stopping, (it’s a lot that you have been juggling I’m surprised I don’t see the 2 of pentacles) Your guides are like Dang they got this.
Lots are taking big steps in life atm and your frozen on a choice (pile 2 also has some of that energy) there is a message of that you’re only human and sometimes it’s alright to be vulnerable and look back at the good times but the here and now is calling, stay focused and channel your emperor energy guys.
Please don’t neglect your mental health, many of you may be overworking even when you feel like you haven’t pushed yourself hard enough *whacks head* stop! You are working enough it’s just that things in reality are kinda messed up and that’s why there so many of us like this. the world is dysfunctional so of course we will be too. But of course that doesn’t solve the issue of having to keep on when your anxious and depressed, but a minute of your day is all you need to cry, to get a hug from someone, I always recommend self care. You can be strong and vulnerable at the same time and I’m willingly absorbing the information from my therapist on how two truths can exist at the same time even if they oppose the other. Be upset and when you can get up and finish that assignment, project, shipment, sale, you seriously got this but I know this is more about the stress and anxiety all this work carries with it.
Stable energy is present in the spread which makes me feel like your guides are just cheering you on knowing how hard it has been and that you are reaching positive new things especially with Death and this transformation that been going on. Be wary of spending for right now (as i assume you are tbh) but know that finances energetically will grow , just stay on task and carry yourself with pride because you are amazing!
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So those were the messages I picked up on, I hope they comfort and support you in some way, or even give you advice. Stay humble and lovely my friends.
Tarot decks used: Rider-Waite tarot deck
- ShiningMysticTarot ☀️
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barcaatthemoon · 20 days
Text
anxiety (get nervous) || ona batlle x reader ||
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ona helps you wade through the anxiety that comes with your parents.
your day had started just like any other. you woke up at a time that ona would think was too early, went for a jog to get coffee, and then came back to the hotel just in time to join the team for breakfast. ona sat curled into your side, still half asleep as you began to check your messages for the day. that was when you saw it, and the alarm bells began to go off inside of your head.
"(y/n), are you okay? you look like you've seen a ghost," mapi checked in on you with a nervous chuckle. a few of the other girls also looked in your direction, so you put on a brave front for them.
"everything is fine, don't worry," you told them. it seemed to calm most of their concerns for you, but ona wasn't everybody else. ona knew that you were still shaken up. she could feel your leg bouncing nervously against her. she could see that your hands were trembling a little as you tried to finish your breakfast. "i'm gonna head to the gym for a bit."
"okay," ona mumbled. she didn't want to let you go, but it would cause a scene if she tried to stop you. and so, against her better judgement, ona let you go to the fitness center all by yourself. she didn't stay down at breakfast for very long, just long enough to eat a bit more and finish the coffee you had abandoned.
ona wasn't sure what to expect when she got to the gym. you would for sure be going harder than what you should have been before a game. you had already gone on a little run that morning, so ona was betting on some sort of weight lifting. the weights in the gym were limited, but ona could see the strain on your features as you continued your set. you looked like you were going to pass out at any moment, so ona rushed over to stop you.
"hey, don't do that. you'll hurt yourself," ona said as she came to take the weight from you. she could barely lift it to put it back. "what's going on? you're smarter than this, nothing heavy on game days. alexia would kill you if she found out."
"maybe that'd be for the better, then i wouldn't have to go to the game," you mumbled. ona dipped her head down so that you were forced to look at her. she pouted as she looked at how obviously shaken up you were away from the team.
"what's wrong bebita?" ona asked you. it had been a while since anybody on the team had called you that. whether it was ona's doing or your own, eventually the pet name had died down. you weren't the baby of the team anymore, far from it actually. technically, you were a vet now, which felt weird to think about.
"my parents are coming to the game in dallas," you whispered. you said it like you were afraid that your parents would magically appear in the gym with you if you spoke about them. ona knew a little bit about your childhood, but she had been away for the big falling out. all she knew was that they moved to mexico and left you in spain to fend for yourself. "they want to speak with me."
"that's fine, you don't have to talk to them," ona reminded you.
"but they're my parents. everybody else would tell me that i only have one family," you said.
"nobody else sits with you on the night before your birthday while you cry because that was when they left you. nobody else sees the damage they did because you got good at holding it in. you don't have to see them if you don't want to, it's all up to you," ona said. you sat down on a bench as you thought about it. you really didn't want to see them, you weren't ready yet. the very thought of it made you feel sick in the worst ways.
"i don't want to see them," you told ona. "i don't know that i ever want to see them again."
"and you won't until you're ready. they left on their terms, and now the ball is in your court."
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matan4il · 4 months
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what do you, as an Israeli, think of Standing Together? asking entirely in good faith because I see things supporting them a lot, but it's always from American Jews and (no offense to us), I don't totally trust that we're informed enough to know what we're talking about and what their perspective and usefulness truly is in the way that someone who actually lives there would. so many orgs are untrustworthy or covertly antisemitic and it made me curious for your perspective. thank you for everything. <3
Hi Nonnie!
Sorry it took me a moment to reply, but I hope my answer can still help you!
As an idea, Standing Together is a movement that I should have been all for. They are pro-coexistence, and so am I. There's no doubt in my mind that Jews aren't going anywhere, and neither are Arabs, and we are all better off working together for a good future for all. Supposedly, that's ST's message, so they absolutely should be an organization that I would be all for.
BUT from everything I've experienced, the narrative that they adopted is way more one-sided than their official stance, they're closer to being anti-Israel than balanced, which makes them problematic for me. Especially when you look at the individual actions and statements of many of this movement's leaders, it's evident that coexistence to them comes at the expense of historical facts, as well as certain Jewish rights. Obviously, the leaders' personal positions influence the movement's stance and actions.
For example, in this interview from Nov 2023, a Jewish leader of the movement falsely calls Israel's 2014 operation in Gaza against Hamas, "a war against Gaza and its people" (brief summary: Hamas kidnapped and murdered three Jewish teenagers in Judea and Samaria, Israel launched Operation Brother's Keeper during which it arrested some of Hamas' terrorists in that area looking for intel on where those 3 kids were and what happened to them, Hamas fired rockets from Gaza at Israel to get its terrorists released and used terror tunnels, including ones that crossed the border from Gaza into Israel, to kill and kidnap our people. That's what Israel ended up fighting against in Operation Protective Edge), while an Arab leader of ST defines their way as one which rejects "maintaining violent military control over millions of people," but says nothing against the terrorism that's used against millions of Israelis and Jews.
In terms of the recent war, since Oct 7 they have come out calling for a ceasefire now very early on in the war (I can't remember when they started it, but I know by Dec 7, 2023 they'd already put out a vid calling to stop the war, when really the ground operation only started about a month earlier, before it could possibly achieve anything), meaning this call was undermining Israel's right (and duty!) to defend its citizens, and asking us to surrender our goals of returning all the hostages and destroying Hamas' rule (only the latter can prevent Hamas from fulfilling its promise to carry out more massacres of the type that started this war, and has claimed so many lives on both sides). Another thing you can see in that vid is ST participating in spreading the false narrative that Israel is intentionally starving the Gazans (you can see the same thing in this poster, which says in Hebrew, "Thou shalt not starve." It's a poster for humanitarian aid they were supposedly bringing into Gaza, as if the IDF would ever let anyone bring anything they want unchecked into a war zone, or as if the amount of aid a few Israeli cars could bring is more than the hundreds of trucks Israel has been allowing in, checked. ST's just posturing and spreading an anti-Israel libel). Helping to spread a libel against one side is NOT being pro-coexistence. Imagine if they were spreading a libel that all Gazans are Hamas terrorists, and took part in the massacre! I think it's clear that, even if it's not simple to tell them apart, there are people in Gaza who are complicit, and people who are uninvolved and innocent. So if ST were spreading such a libel against Gazans, I'd oppose them. I am not going to do less when ST is spreading a libel against my own people.
I hope one day they correct course, but I can't currently support them. Give me REAL solidarity between Jews and Arabs, which sees and recognizes the humanity of both, not a repeat of the de-humanization of Jews, and a surrender of Jewish rights to an anti-Jewish narrative. That's not real peace, it's not real coexistence, it's a return to the way that we Jews have had to live for centuries in exile: always dependent on the good will (or lack of it) of the majority under whose will we lived, forced to bend ourselves, our rights, our dignity, too often even our very lives, to our subjugators, in the hope (and without any guarantees) that they will show us some kindness.
Many of the movement's leaders have not only expressed themselves in a way that reflects an acceptance of the anti-Israeli narrative, and took one-sided positions I can't agree with, they also acted in ways that have left me feeling quite unsafe.
For example, one of ST's founders, Yeela Raanan, joined and supported the violent Palestinian riots on Israel's border with Gaza, organized by Hamas, meant to breach the border fence, which started in 2018. Today we know these riots were a part of Hamas' preparations for the Oct 7, 2023 massacre, as they were getting the IDF used to them coming closer and closer to the fence. TBH, those of us listening to the statements of Hamas' leaders, we didn't need to wait for the border to be breached in order to know that it would be a bloodbath if they succeed. Sinwar's promise that they will reap out the hearts of Israelis with spoons from our chests was enough. Also, the repeated use during these riots of flags and kites with swastikas was pretty telling. So yeah, I can't trust anyone who supported that.
The movement is also financially supported in part by funds, such as the New Israel Fund, which finances a lot of good causes, but also many anti-Israel ones, and the German fund Rosa Luxemburg Stiftung, which supports the antisemitic BDS movement (it's antisemitic first of all because one of its stated goals is to put an end to Israel as a Jewish state, another reason is their use of antisemitic tropes in characterizing the Jewish state).
The ironic thing is that, despite how imbalanced against Israel ST is, it was still the so-called pro-Palestinians who actually started a campaign to boycott the organization. Not because of anything specific ST said or did. It was simply for being an Israeli organization, showing the diversity of Israeli society, which is apparently bad 'coz it "normalizes" Israel's existence. That shows you the anti-Israel nature of this opposition, that no amount of willingness to cooperate with the de-humanization of Jews and erasure of our rights will ever be enough for people whose real motivation is antisemitism, that wishes to see an end to the Jewish state.
I hope this helps, Nonnie! Once more, my apologies for how long it's taken me to reply. Be well!
(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)
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strawberryblue-blog · 2 months
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summary: request
warnings: yes. +18. smut, p in v, blowjob, jealousy, Pedri being overprotective and possessive, etc.
words count: +2.7k
#SEXYNOTE: I hope you enjoy it 💌
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The movie was playing on the TV as you watched, it was late at night and you had decided to stay home today to have a movie date. But your attention wasn't fully on the movie when your phone vibrated and you quickly went to check what it was about.
To your surprise it was a message from Gavi, your boyfriend's best friend, who had sent you a tiktok video. You opened it curiously and a laugh came out of your mouth when you saw a video of a cat playing and jumping until it fell.
Pedro watched the whole sequence next to you and his blood boiled to see you so entertained with the message while you answered something funny to Gavi. He He had never seen you so confident as you send funny videos to each other and reply.
"Isn't the movie funny enough that you're walking around laughing with your phone?" he asked as he saw you still smiling at the screen.
"It's just a tiktok" you said simply not giving it a thought.
"From who?" he questions watching you.
"From Pablo" you mumble without giving it importance.
"From Pablo..." he repeats again and you look up.
In his voice you could notice some irony and the way he emphasized his friend's name let you know he was jealous of him. You had been dating for a few months and had never talked about your friendly relations, yet you and Pablo had always been close as friends. Since he was very close to Pedri, you guys obviously got along very well.
"Why is Gavi sending you a message?" he insisted rejoining you in his place.
You frowned in confusion but from his face you could tell he was serious.
"Because we are friends" you answered sincerely.
"He's not your friend" he answered quickly to your words.
Of course he was. Gavi was your friend but that's all he was.
What was wrong with him? Couldn't you talk to Gavi? He was having an annoying attitude. There was nothing you were hiding, Gavi was your friend and it wasn't the first time you had sent funny videos to each other.
It was obvious he was jealous and he had never behaved like that before with any guy but Gavi, so this was something totally new in your relationship. Although you have to admit that seeing him nay jealous made you curious and you were going to try it out.
"We're always talking" you said playing innocent and you saw how his body tensed up.
His face no longer looked calm and relaxed like a few minutes ago, now he was angry and that made you feel different. So you planned to keep provoking him some more until you saw where it went.
"What's wrong?" you asked sarcastically. "You don't talk to him all day?"
"But he's MY friend" you spat tensely, emphasizing the word 'my'.
"He's my friend too" you retorted facing him.
Again his muscles tensed and he cocked his head to the side. He was jealous. Too jealous. And you found that totally encouraging, you liked that he felt jealous for you. You hid a smile by biting your lip lightly. His hair a little damp from the bath he had taken a few moments ago, his neck was starting to turn a little red from anger, on his forehead a vein was marked.
"And you'd rather talk to him than spend time with me?" he says offended as his eyes turn dark.
You died your lip hiding another amused smile when his reproach made you die of love. His face was serious as ever and at the same time he looked so tender and protective.
"It was just a message, Pedro" you say wanting to get up from your place but his hands stop you and make you sit down in front of him again.
"You're mine" he murmured firmly.
One of his hands rested on your thigh and you trembled as you felt its touch. He said it with a certain hint of possession and you loved that. He had never behaved like this before and although you loved the gentle and charming Pedri, this version of him was starting to grow on you even more.
He takes the phone from your hands and locks it, tossing it somewhere on the couch. You groan as his hands move you towards him and his body is over yours.
"You're mine, Y/n" he repeats again and your hands hold his waist teasing him.
One of his knees makes room on your legs and brushes against your crotch making you gasp. His eyes pierce yours as you bite your lip. You are so much his that you don't even have to think about it, just by looking at the way you are now anyone could tell that only he can get you like this.
"Say it, baby girl" he asks when his nose brushes yours.
"I'm yours, Pedri" you say without preamble. You are eager under his body and even though you want to keep fighting you are already horny enough and you can't go on.
Your mission is already accomplished, you have just awakened his worst version and you love it so much. You never liked Pablo, nor any of his friends, you don't even find them handsome, obviously they are cute and nice people but if you're with Pedri it's for a reason. On the other hand, you are in love with Pedri González.
He drives you crazy every second that passes. You're wrapped in his shell, you can't escape his aura.
"I'm so hot" you say suddenly. Pedri smiles a little. "Touch me" you ask in a plea.
You have no shame whatsoever, you are tired of pretending that everything was fine between you when all you wanted was to fuck your boyfriend. Pedri seems to like your initiative because his fingers caress your skin when you sigh.
You have never been so direct and dirty like this, even you are surprised to hear you but the situation warranted it and you were in need of him. You needed to take advantage of this Pedri, who was driving you crazy. This facet was also new to you and you were eager for both of you to feel new things.
"You don't deserve it" he whispers as his lips almost touch yours but don't.
"Tell me what I do to make it right" you plead before him.
"Will you be a good girl and let me fuck your mouth?" he murmurs when you pull away from him.
You nod barely as his lips impact yours and he kisses you savagely, dirty and hard. The heat begins to burn between your legs and his hands squeeze your ass as yours slip into his shirt, touching his hard abdomen.
Gasps begin to decorate the atmosphere as you kiss fiercely and caress each other over your clothes, it begins to be torturous and even painful. His touch is hot as embers on your skin and you want to tear off all his clothes. You are very anxious.
When you feel you can't get any wetter, you get even wetter at the thought of Pedri fucking your mouth. His words are fire to your crotch and you sigh biting your lip. If you want it. You need him. You want to make him feel good.
"The only thing I want is to see you on your knees between my legs while you please me here" he murmurs so mercilessly that you gasp at the imagination.
The way the color of his eyes changed when he saw you accept was so magical it makes you want to get started on your task. So when you help him remove his shirt, Pedri quickly takes your mouth again, kissing you as one of your hands goes to his pants. Your fingers caress his bulge over his pants listening to him moan and grunt into your mouth.
You are anxious to touch him but you want to take the time to memorize every second of pleasure and concentrate on making him feel good. His hands caress your breasts, squeezing them a little over your shirt, you agaredeces that you don't have a bra on because when his fingers find your nipples, they are already ready to be squeezed and Pedri gently kneads them.
"If you want me to forgive you and fuck your perfect pussy you have to give me a little motivation first" he whispers dirty with a hungry look and you swallow saliva excitedly.
You're eager for him to fuck you so you're up for anything tonight.
The scene of jealousy made you both excited, both of you about to lose your minds. It was the first time you saw Pedri so possessive and toxic with you and you loved it.
He gets up to take off his pants and you help him take off the rest of his pants. You help him take off the rest of his clothes while you start leaving little kisses on his abs, leaving traces of your mouth on his body. Your lips feel warm on his smooth skin as you take all the time in the world until you reach the edge of his underwear. You can see his bulge getting bigger and bigger, making you feel desperate to have him in your mouth, so you don't take long to help him stand naked in front of you.
When his cock is in front of you, you notice how erect it is and your stomach churns. You are eager and ready to take him. You take the opportunity to push his body and Pedri falls back on the couch, you move closer to him to kiss him on the lips while your hand takes the base of his cock and starts massaging it gently. His moans become deeper, so much so that they sound like music to your ears because you know he is enjoying it and that encourages you to continue. You kneel between his legs and hold his cock in your hands, wanting to take it quickly.
You moisten your lips to kiss the tip delicately as you stroke his balls a little to tease him. His grunts were loud, hard against his throat, making you feel your torture having an effect on him. You take it upon yourself to put it a little inside your mouth, moistening his skin and tasting a little. You're really eager to give him the best blowjob of his life and you get going, driving it deep inside your cavity. Your tongue massages the tip while your lips suck around it and you bite down on a few occasions as her hands settle at the base of your hair, sinking her fingers into it. The pressure in your hair, lets you know he is beginning to enjoy it, as he grunts and pulls you along.
Her moans are a melody, even some dirty curses come from her lips as she shudders. Your hands are resting on his thighs as you continue to suck his cock viciously, roughly and passionately. Pedri can't stop moaning at the image of you, kneeling between his legs with his cock deep in your mouth, pleasuring him while he just watches you from there. You have nothing to envy when your view is also magnificent. He's lying on the couch, his thighs taut, his skin sweaty and his chest heaving as he gasps in pleasure at your handiwork, making you feel powerful.
"Keep it up, baby" he gasps as you notice his breathing quicken. "I'll finish in your mouth and you'll swallow it all, got it, gorgeous?" he says, his voice cracking.
You barely nod with his cock inside your mouth as you keep sucking and bobbing your head. The way his fingers pull at your hair is really sensual, how he moans and gasps as the reflection of the night falls on his body, his scarred abdomen contours with each contraction. Dirty noises echo in the room, your crotch throbs with arousal and Pedri's moans fuel your need for him.
You want him to finish inside your mouth, inside you, on you, you want to have him in every possible way, you want to feel him, you want to see him writhing with pleasure. So you keep moving your mouth over his cock, the noises are dirty, the atmosphere sticky, you keep stroking his testicles a few times as your tongue draws patterns on his cock.
"Fuck, baby" he moans as his hands guide you over his manhood, searching for his spot and fucking your mouth desperately.
He is so deep inside your throat that you are short of breath for a few moments and it makes you gasp as you feel him pounding inside you. You feel his hot liquid on your mouth as an almost screaming moan comes from Pedri's mouth and his movements are slow, as he trembles and gasps loudly as he feels the orgasm. His sighs are violent, trying to catch his breath, his cheeks are red and you can see his smile appear on his lips.
You finally pull away from his cock and swallow his fresh cum in your mouth, savoring the taste of it as if it were your favorite dish. He smiles as he watches you and you stand up from your spot to catch your breath and prepare for what's next. Pedri sighs as he wipes his sweat from his brow and licks his lips in exhaustion.
"You did great, honey" he murmurs as you stand between his legs again.
You move closer to him and start kissing him, hard and hot, missing his taste as his hands help you unfasten your pajama pants and remove his T-shirt. You are so sensitive that when his hands brush against your body, you gasp in desperation. You're dying for him to fuck him.
"This pussy is completely mine, you know that?" he gasps as he slides your panties and pants off, removing them. "You're completely mine, gorgeous" he murmurs as his hands press your face carefully.
You remove your own clothes leaving you naked in front of him and his gaze makes you feel desirous. You can't hold on any longer, you need him so fucking bad. You immediately mount him while his kisses caress your shoulders, biting and playing with your skin. Your legs are at his sides and you grab the base of his cock, hardened again and plunge it deep inside you with your hips, feeling his cock thrust deep into your wet walls. You moan as you close your eyes as you feel his greatness take place in your vagina, you quickly search for his gaze but it's impossible to keep your eyes open when you feel him so deep inside you.
You begin to move gently, trembling and panting, as his hands grab your ass and squeeze it tightly making you moan. His eyes haven't stopped looking at you while yours haven't either and it feels so intimate and sensual.
The feeling of seeing him so possessive, remarking what you are his and his overprotective attitudes have made you feel like you have never felt before and you are more than sure that your whole being belongs to him.
"I'm yours, Pedri" you whisper in front of him as your hips begin to move faster on him.
Now you are both skin to skin as you kiss fiercely, panting and caressing each other and you moan into his mouth unable to silence your moans. Your arms hold onto his strong shoulders as you move up and down on him, riding him perfectly. Your eyes connect with his and he smiles to see you so focused on pleasure, wrapping his arms around your waist to help you move on him.
His kisses spill over your neck, chest and breasts. He takes it upon himself to bite your skin and leave hickeys for you to cover tomorrow as your nails sink into his skin. You can't stop jumping on his cock as his fingers play with your nipples, squeeze and caress them.
You feel so full, so satisfied, so hot.
"I'm going to leave marks on you, baby" he murmurs panting as you jump on him. "Gavi will see them and know who the fuck you belong to" he says again and you cry out as you feel his teeth mark your skin.
An electric current shoots through your body and you arch your back full of pleasure.
"Oh my god" you moan needily as the pleasure builds in your belly.
"That's it, baby" he murmurs as your movements are violent, erratic.
Your walls begin to squeeze his hot cock, which begins to swell inside you as you continue to move hard. Your hands grip tightly on his shoulders as his lips bite into your neck, quieting his moans a little.
"Fuck, Pedri" you scream as you feel the spasms in your body.
A disgusting scream comes from deep in your throat as you clench your legs around him and tremble over his body. Pedri gasps loudly as he comes inside you, for the second time, filling you with his essence. You feel his cum trickle down your thighs as you begin to slow your movements, taking a big breath of air after your wonderful orgasm.
Sighs are heard in the room as you try to catch your breath, you are lying on your body, while he is still inside you and his seed is still running down your thighs. You are too tired to move, too exhausted after so much.
His arms go around your back and help you, taking you in his arms gently. You have just experienced a new stage of you that took you to a level of passion and pleasure you had never tried and you were both happy about it.
"Let me take care of you, baby" he whispers kissing your forehead when you can barely nod. "Serves you right for a good girl" he smiles as he makes his way to his room.
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lexisecretaccx · 7 months
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Text me back- Chris sturniolo
(Femreader x toxic Chris, slight smut, I don’t know if I like this fully)
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My phone buzzes again, 14 unread messages from Chris. I’m sick of him he’s always acting like he loves me and then he goes and fucks another girl. If I know him enough he’s probably on his way here now.
I open his messages, “hey wsp” “Wyd” “I love you” “you gonna answer” “you sleeping” “it’s 10pm that’s early for you” “you aren’t fucking sleeping” “your active on insta” “are you with another guy” “who is he” “are you at your house” “fuck you” “I’m coming over”
I let out a sigh before laying back on my couch, I can’t deal with him he’s toxic as fuck sometimes, but when I see him I lose control, we have a connection and we both lose control around eachother, I can’t stay mad at him I do love him and I fucking hate myself for it.
I jump out of my seat when my front door is being pounded on, obviously it’s Chris. I slowly walk up to the door preparing myself to be reamed at I open the door and he pushes straight past me into my house.
“Where the fuck is he?” He yells, I shut my door before pinching the bridge of my nose and sighing. “Chris there’s nobody here except me, I just..” “you just what? Just thought you were too good to text me back?” He hisses as he walks towards me standing infront of me looking down at me, he looks somewhat upset.
“No Chris I just can’t deal with your bullshit sometimes.” I mumble as I lean against the wall. “My bullshit? What about your bullshit where you leave me on delivered for hours on end and expect me not to freak out.” He leans in closer to my face. “You’re pathetic y/n.” He says in a low tone.
His face is inches away from me as his eyes flicks between my eyes and lips. “Chris I’m sorry.” I whisper before I feel his hands snake up my waist and under my shirt. “I can’t do this right now.” I pull away before walking over to my couch and sitting down, crossing my arms. “Why don’t you go to one of those other girls you fuck with?” I laughed sarcastically.
“None of them take me as well as you do.” He leans down from behind the couch and whispers in my ear. I roll my eyes trying to ignore the wetness growing in my core. I get up and walk to the kitchen to grab him a drink. “Pepsi?” I say bluntly, he nods before coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist and he starts to kiss my neck.
“Chris,” I moan softly before he turns me around and pushes me against the fridge, he pushes his lips against mine as he kisses me roughly and pushes his body against mine, my hand find its way into his hair and he wraps one hand around my waist and the other on the back of my neck.
His tongue finds its way into my mouth and the kiss turns sloppy as I feel one of his hands travel down my sweatpants and he prods my dripping heat through my panties.
“Fuck..” I moan breathily as he starts to slip his hand under my panties and starts to rub circles on my clit. I grab on to the back of his neck for stability but all of a sudden I hear his phone ring, without stopping or breaking the kiss he checks who was ringing him I break the kiss and look at his phone.
‘Olivia’ was the caller ID. Chris looks up at me and his eyebrows furrow “I don’t know who that is I promise.” He pleads with me as he removes his hand from between my legs. “Answer it.” I say coldly, he shakes his head before I grab the phone out of his hand and answer the call.
“Hey,” a female voice, I look up at Chris for him to answer. “Uh hi” he spoke nervously, the girl, ‘olivia’ laughed softly before saying “I miss you, why'd you break it off with me chris?" chris rolls his eyes and sighs before looking at me awkwardly "I'm not interested anymore Olivia, never call me again." he says sternly and grabs the phone from me, "what? is there someone else?" Olivia chokes, she started crying, pathetic. "honestly? yeah there is, so fuck off and don't ever talk to me." She starts crying harder and Chris hangs up the phone.
"where were we?" chris says before placing his phone on the counter and trying to kiss me again. "you were just leaving chris." I smirk lightly. His face drops and he steps back, "what? I broke things off with all of the other girls for you! Everything I do is for you y/n." he says in a manipulative tone, "you told me you didn't know who that was." I spoke softly.
"because I don't love her, I love you ma please, I just want you." He begs, " I made that poor girl cry because you're the only one I need." He steps closer to me and puts his hands on my waist. I know he's probably manipulating me but fuck I still love him. "Fine, come on." I roll my eyes before I start walking out the kitchen and upstairs.
"I'll block all their numbers and their instas and everything babe I promise." He says before kissing my cheek. "Can we watch a movie?" I ask as I sit on the bed and Chris comes to sit next to me, "yeah whatever you want mama." he smirks as he places his hand on my thigh.
A/n: hey y’all, little Chris one shot for y’all, toxic Chris is kinda hot 😍 I hope you enjoy this, I like making one shots. Love ya!
Taglist: @kvtie444 @blahbel668 @mattsleftnipple03 @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @hysteria-things @sturniologurl4l2008
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padfootagain · 3 months
Text
Only an Almost (XIX)
Chapter 19: Ascent
Hi! Here comes a new chapter!
We only have two chapters left, including this one :(
I hope you’ll like this chapter! Please, tell me what you think!
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Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader, friends with benefits AU
Warning: No explicit smut or nsfw content, but there are sexual themes and heavy make-out sessions (it’s a friends with benefits AU, I can’t really escape it), so 18+ only!
Summary: Andrew has been in love with you for years, and yet he has never confessed his feelings. But a night out celebrating the engagement of his best friend changes everything. However, you don't seem ready to be with him just yet. You make him an offer that he can't refuse... but will certainly regret.
Word Count : 5157
Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s Masterlist – Main Masterlist
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Andrew was never more aware that he was getting older.
The hangover that was stabbing his temples with daggers was the best reminder of all.
Details from the end of the night were fuzzy, at best. He wasn’t certain how he got home, but he had somehow managed to reach his bed. He was still wearing his shirt and pants from the wedding, his hair was a mess, but that was nothing compared to the fog that clogged his brain.
He made a stop by the kitchen first to drink some water, prepared some strong coffee. He splashed some cold water on his face to clear his head. Christ… he needed a shower. Maybe two.
He could recall a cab driver, some very loud music, jumping up and down with the beat, Sam and Daphne laughing, getting drunk on purpose…
… and then there was you lying in bed, fast asleep, him kissing your forehead in a chaste kiss, tucking you in, helping you through the mansion, finding you in the park, the fear of not knowing where you were, him singing that song to you even if the dance was meant for the married couple…
He could hear your voice ringing in his ears, echoing through his head, beating in his heart. Words that rang again and again. Words that he had dreamt of hearing.
He took a couple of deep breaths, and let the unkind voice in his head take over. You were drunk. You didn’t mean it. You said it yourself you didn’t want to be in a relationship, and especially not with him. You were scared, you didn’t want to take the risk, didn’t want to make the sacrifices that a long-distance relationship would require, not for him, at least, because he wasn’t worth it, he wasn’t enough and you didn’t love him, you were just drunk, you didn’t mean it…
He turned on his phone, checked the time. It was already 1pm.
Messages from his friends, from Sam and Daphne, one from his mom, a few from his label…
… and then 10 from you.
He swallowed thickly, but touched your name first anyway.
Hi! I hope you got home safely last night.
First, thank you for taking care of me. I was drunk… obviously
A true gentleman, as usual.
I’m so sorry you had to see that. I was hammered. I wasn’t myself and I said things I shouldn’t have.
Andrew had to stop reading. He took a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling for a moment, bracing for the rejection that was sure to come… again.
Still, he read on.
I know that I’ve fucked up, and that you don’t want to see me anymore. Which is perfectly understandable, and I completely respect your decision. I had no intention to contact you again. It was completely out of line for me to confess my feelings.
Andrew read that last sentence several times, before rushing to the next text.
I’m sorry about what happened. I know you don’t want to see me anymore, and again, I completely understand. I was an idiot and I’ve fucked up everything. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, and I won’t ask for it. At this point, I just hope that what I said last night didn’t make things even worse.
I know that you’ve probably moved on by now, and I’m not expecting anything from you. I don’t even expect an answer to these texts, and I will simply not contact you again if you choose not to answer. I guess that alcohol simply made me reveal things I would rather not have confessed. I trust you not to tell anyone about this, even if you don’t want to talk to me ever again.
I reckon that I should make it clear, although I expect that you don’t feel the same anymore, that I meant what I said last night. And I wish I hadn’t been so stupid, and told you how I felt while I still could.
His eyes ran through your words again and again, but they remained unchanged, no matter how many times he read them. He let out a long exhale, unable to believe what he was reading was true.
You couldn’t be meaning that… you couldn’t…
I’ll see you this afternoon at our cute couple’s get-together for post-wedding day, before they enjoy their well-deserved honeymoon. Don’t worry though, I won’t initiate a conversation, and will completely understand if you don’t want to talk to me ever again. Also, I’ll stay sober this time, just in case I do something stupid.
If I never hear from you again, know that I wish you the best. You deserve all the happiness in the world.
Andrew struggled to breathe for a moment. He dropped his phone on the counter next to him, buried his face in his hands.
What the fuck was going on?
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Andrew hadn’t texted you back. He didn’t want to have this conversation with you over a phone. There were too many things to be told, too many things to be discussed.
He was a ball of nerves by the time three o’clock arrived and he stepped in his friends’ house. Some help was needed to make sure that the rented mansion was in good shape, to take care of the rest of the food and drinks, and obviously, to have another party to celebrate the newlyweds.
And you were there. Standing in the kitchen, making tea, your demeanour perfectly calm, as if you hadn’t dropped a bomb that had shattered his life in a million possibilities the night before…
“Andy!”
You turned to him at the sound of his name, he noticed the way your lips parted, before you looked away in a hurry…
The next second, he was engulfed in Sam’s strong embrace.
“How are you, Mr. Married-man?” Andrew joked, returning the tight hug.
“Ecstatic. Not realising what’s going on…”
Andrew chuckled at that.
“Daphne’s gone with her mother to deal with something… don’t remember what… but somebody has to go to the venue to check that everything is fine before we leave for good. Can you do that?”
“Sure, I’ll go.”
“You want some tea first?”
“No, no… I’m fine. I’ll deal with that.”
“Y/N can go with you, you might need help. The caterer left some food there apparently, even if they were supposed to deal with that and pack it up. Also, check that no one has broken anything, we were all quite drunk last night.”
“Sure, I’ll do that.”
Andrew looked at you, but you didn’t move towards him. You remained standing there, in the kitchen, the kettle in your hand. You looked almost afraid, definitely uncomfortable.
“You’re coming, Y/N?” he asked, making sure his voice was neutral but still soft. He didn’t want you to believe that he was angry.
You jumped, surprised that he would talk to you. Still, you nodded in a hurry, putting the kettle down.
“Yeah… yeah…”
You offered him a smile, and he reciprocated the gesture. You seemed appeased by it.
You both hurried outside, greeting some other friends who were coming and going, set on different errands. It was merry despite the grey sky and the threat of some new rain.
“I’ll drive,” Andrew said as you reached his car.
“My car is right over there, I’ll follow you.”
“No need, I’ll drop you here after we’re done. Come on.”
You remained staring at him for a moment, clearly trying to gauge his actions.
“I’m not angry,” he said, reading your mind too easily. “You can come in.”
Slowly, you nodded, and opened the car door.
It was silent as Andrew started to drive. An awkward kind of silence that Andrew tried to alleviate by turning on the radio. Van Morrison filled up the empty spaces of the car, while you tried to discreetly look at him, failing miserably. He wanted to laugh at you for being so obvious about it.
It was a short drive to the venue, but he couldn’t find anything to say to you. His throat was dry, he could feel his palms getting clammy at the mere thought of speaking to you. There was too much that needed to be said…
“Andy…” you finally broke the heavy silence, while he was waiting at a red light. “About last night…”
“Can we… can we not do that now?”
When he looked at you, you were clenching your jaw and looking away in a hurry.
“I’m not angry,” he repeated, his voice soft but neutral still.
He didn’t want to let himself get emotional now. There was too much to say and too little time before reaching the venue. Besides, he didn’t want to speak about this in his car, this wasn’t either the right place nor the right time.
“But we should talk about all this after we’re done with the venue and everything… like… when we’re alone and we have time to discuss things.”
“So… you… you want to talk about it?”
“Yeah… I reckon we should.”
“We don’t have to. I understand that you hate me, that you don’t want to have anything to do with me ever again. You don’t have to be this kind to me.”
Andrew couldn’t refrain a breathy chuckle, shaking his head. Christ, you were so wrong… about everything…
“I could never hate you, Y/N. I don’t have that in me.”
“I hurt you. A lot.”
“Yeah, you did.”
“You should hate me.”
But he slowly shook his head, eyes still fixed on the road, and he hoped you wouldn’t notice the way he tightened his grip on the steering wheel.
“That’s not how love works, Y/N.”
You didn’t say anything, but he could feel your stare upon him. He didn’t know what he could add, so he let the rest of the drive pass in a silent haze, his mind swarming with thoughts and feelings and trying to figure out what he wanted, what he should do, what was reasonable…
More than anything else, he thought about how nice it was to smell your perfume in his car again.
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Andrew had taken care of the caterer and the food while you were going around the bedrooms to make sure nothing was wrong. He was looking for you to give you a hand, the mansion was rather large, and the keys needed to be returned after everything had been cleaned and put in order, or fees might be added. Andrew had offered to pay for everything, but Sam and Daphne had refused, and seemed offended by the idea, so the best Andrew could do now was to make sure they wouldn’t pay anything extra. A few other friends and family members were also helping out, and everything was ready.
He found you in one of the bedrooms. You were checking the room quickly, but everything seemed to be in order, except for something that seemed to have been forgotten on top of an old wooden wardrobe. Andrew looked at you for a few seconds as you went on your tiptoes to try and grab whatever object was up there, but you were too small. An amused smile was drawn to his lips when you huffed in annoyance.
You turned around in a jolt when you heard the floor creaking under his weight. He said nothing, stopped only when he was close to you, so close he would only have to bend to kiss you… And then he reached up, and grabbed the forgotten object.
You both exploded with laughter as Andrew revealed a green bra.
“Somebody had fun here last night,” Andrew laughed.
“They definitely got lucky!”
He handed it to you, but you shook your head.
“I’m not taking this, I have no clue who it belongs to!”
“I can’t walk out of here holding a bra!”
“Why not? Is it better if it’s me?”
“Y/N… They’ll think I had sex with someone!”
“And if I walk out with this they’ll think I had sex with someone…”
He rolled his eyes.
“What do we do, then?”
“Can’t you hide it in your jacket?”
“Can’t you?”
It was your turn to roll your eyes, grabbing the piece of garment and stuffing it in the pocket of your vest.
“Alright, crisis averted for our famous diva.”
“A diva? Me?”
You both chuckled at that.
“No, not at all… I don’t know why I joked about that.”
“Because you’re mean.”
He was joking, but your face fell, and the next second you were taking a step back and clearing your throat. And the moment had passed.
“It was the last room. Everybody behaved, apparently.”
“Good… that’s grand… let’s go, then.”
But when he turned towards the door, you held onto his hand.
He lost himself in your eyes… in their shade that he saw at night still, despite the long weeks you had spent apart, and they looked begging now, soft and vulnerable.
“Can we… can we talk before you take me back to my car?”
Slowly, he nodded.
“We can go to my place.”
“Your place?”
“Or yours.”
“You’re sure?”
“We should be alone for this. Alone, and undisturbed.”
You nodded in agreement, letting go of his hand again. He hated the cold of the air that replaced your skin.
You walked out in silence, managed to discreetly get rid of the bra in a bin, stopped to chat with a few friends, but Andrew could hardly be patient anymore. He was careful not to be rude when he pulled you away from the conversation so you could walk back to his car. Still, when you looked at him before climbing in his car, you seemed to read right through him, through the mix of emotions in his hazel eyes, from the impatience to the fear.
“Let’s go to my place,” you said softly as Andrew turned on the engines.
He nodded in silence, struggling to regulate his breathing. There was so much hope and bitterness mingling in his heart now, being injected to his veins, preventing his lungs from functioning properly.
Why had you acted like you didn’t care if you loved him? Did you even love him? Really? Would you be ready to give him a chance? Had you dated anyone since that night?
The drive to your house was made in silence, both of you lost in your own thoughts. There was music playing on the radio, but Andrew couldn’t notice it. It started to rain at one point, heavy and cold droplets that made it harder to see the road.
Not a word as you both climbed out of his car and hurried to your door, fleeing the rain. It was cold as it dropped on his face, the contrast stark when you let him in your house that was so much warmer.
“Tea?” you merely asked, but didn’t wait for his answer to go prepare a kettle.
He remained frozen in your hallway. All of a sudden, that evening was playing over and over in his head. He looked at the doorknob, and thought about leaving. Just… running away. Never see you again. Then what?
He would spend the next months, or most probably years, trying to forget you, trying to move on. He would bury himself in work so he could numb the pain. Eventually, he’d find someone new, build a life for himself without you in it. He’d avoid you at gatherings with your common friends. He would sing the songs he had written about you, trying to forget that you were the muse behind every note played and every rime spoken. You would find someone else too, get married, build yourself a home and a family with another person joining you in bed every night. Not him. He would never kiss you again, never hold you again, never hear your laughter, never giggle at your snarky remarks, never make love to you ever again…
“Andy?”
He spun around, facing you.
The choice was his. He could still tell you that he never wanted to see you again. That you had hurt him too much and that he didn’t want the two of you to stay in touch.
Or he could walk into your kitchen and talk with you until he was certain about the nature of your feelings for him. And then he’d decide if you were worth putting his heart on the line again or not.
He could run away, or stay.
“Is everything okay?” you asked, voice gentle, head slightly tilted to the side.
He nodded, took a deep breath, and walked over to you.
“Yeah… just… lost in thought.”
You handed him a cup of tea. No sugar nor milk. Two teabags. He recognized the tag of his favourite brand.
“We should sit down,” you offered, voice hesitant, but he nodded, and you smiled as you took a seat in your living room, around your wooden table.
He sat across from you, silently measured the distance that separated you. You were resting your hands on the wooden surface, and he ached to reach out, hold your fingers tight.
You didn’t seem willing to start the conversation, and after a couple of minutes of both of you silently staring at your cups of tea, Andrew exhaled deeply through his nose, closed his eyes, and finally broke the heavy silence that had entered the room.
“So… last night… when you were drunk…”
“Hmm…”
“I reckon we should start from there.”
“Thank you again, for helping me.”
“There’s no need to thank me for that.”
“Sam said you were worried about me.”
He finally looked up at you, gaze getting caught in your stare, and he couldn’t look away after that. He struggled to swallow.
“Of course, I was worried. You were alone, no one knew where, and you didn’t have your phone with you.”
“But you hate me.”
“I’ve never said that.”
“After what happened, you should hate me.”
He heaved a sigh, shook his head, his shoulders bent under an invisible weight. The burden of loving you despite everything…
“I don’t hate you. I’m just… hurt.”
“It’s not exactly better.”
“No, I guess not… But it’s not aimed at you. It’s aimed at myself.”
You blinked a couple of times, a pained expression on your features.
“Yesterday… you said…”
You looked away, setting your gaze on your tea, on the steam that was rising from the porcelain, on the coloured liquid inside.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Because you didn’t mean it?”
“Because I know you didn’t want to hear me say that. Because you want me out of your life, and I understand why. Because I don’t want to hurt you again.”
Andrew clenched his jaw, struggled to keep his heartbeat regular.
“Did you mean it?”
You brushed a strand of your hair behind your ear, still avoiding his stare.
“Y/N, look at me. Please, look at me.”
You closed your eyes for a brief moment, but then you complied, looked up at him.
“After everything that has happened, I just need the truth. I just need answers. Can you do that for me?”
“Okay…”
“Just answer me.”
You nodded, waiting for him to speak.
“Did you mean it?”
You blinked tears away, but slowly nodded still.
“When you said…”
His voice broke, he had to clear it to gather words on his tongue once more.
“When you said that you loved me… did you mean it?”
But you nodded again.
“I did mean it. I shouldn’t have said it, though…”
You fell silent when Andrew buried his face in his hands. He was struggling to breathe, struggling not to cry…
“I’m sorry, Andy… I’m so sorry…”
“Why the fuck did you reject me then?” he interrupted you, looking at you once more, his hands falling loudly on the table. “Why did you keep on pushing me away? On making me feel fucking miserable? If you loved me, why would you hurt me like that?”
“I didn’t mean to… I just….”
Your lips trembled, but you went on anyway, voice calm and a little cold.
“My life was a mess… still kind of is, to be fair. I had a new job, and then… then you kissed me that night at the bar and… old feelings came back. Feelings I had been very good at burying and forgetting. And I just… I didn’t want us to remain just friends, but… I was fucking terrified, Andy. I still am, to be honest. And so, I convinced myself that I could… have you while protecting my heart, which was the worst idea ever thought since the beginning of mankind, clearly…”
You heaved a tired sigh, rubbed your forehead as you tightly closed your eyes.
Andrew was remaining perfectly still, utterly quiet. Waiting for you to continue.
“I just thought… I thought that if we didn’t act like a couple, if we didn’t date, I would be able to control how I feel for you. I thought that it could be casual. And you accepted, and I thought… I thought that it meant that you were just attracted to me, and it helped me ignore my own feelings to believe that you just wanted sex.”
“I didn’t want you just for sex. I never did,” he interrupted you, and you stared at him with pain twisting your features.
“I’m sorry, Andy…”
“You said that it didn’t mean anything to you. You said that you didn’t have feelings for me, that… that you felt nothing when we were intimate. You said it was just about fucking…”
“I didn’t say any of that...”
“That’s how you behaved, though.”
“I didn’t say it was just about fucking…”
“You didn’t deny it.”
“It wasn’t about fucking. I always had feelings for you.”
He clenched his jaw, heaved a sigh.
“Why did you pretend it didn’t mean a thing then?”
“Because I was scared. And I didn’t feel ready to have a relationship with you.”
“Because I have to go on tours?”
“Yeah… not just that but… mostly, yes. Because you won’t be here. Dating you means signing up for a long-distance relationship, and I don’t know how to deal with that kind of situation.”
Slowly, he nodded.
“I understand that,” he mumbled.
“You’ll never be around… you’re always off to somewhere else. Our lives are so different…”
“But this is my home. It’s always gonna be my home. I’ll always come back.”
“How do you handle not seeing your partner for months?”
He let out a bitter chuckle.
“Badly,” he truthfully answered, and the two of you shared a sad smile.
“I was afraid to open up to you, to be vulnerable, to let myself feel this way… for you to disappear and break up with me because you’d have found someone better on the other side of the globe…”
“Y/N… I understand why my career can seem like a giant obstacle, because it is one. It’s… so fucking hard to not be with the person you love for months, and I’m so goddamn busy when touring that I can’t promise you that I’ll be able to give you the quality time that you deserve. It’s a nightmare to get our schedules to match, to plan everything out, and that’s without counting all the things that are added along the way that weren’t planned at the beginning of touring… And then there’s the press, and the writing, and the recording, and… and I understand, okay? I understand that you would reject me because of that. But Y/N… if you’re just afraid that I might fall for someone else because we’re apart for a few weeks… that is literally the least probable scenario that could ever happen.”
“Why would it be?”
“Because I’m in love with you,” he answered simply, earnestly, like it was the most obvious truth on earth. “Because I’ve been in love with you for years. And no one has ever replaced you, even when I thought you felt nothing for me, even when we both were dating other people. Trust me, you’re the only woman I want on this planet. The only one I really want.”
He watched as you took his words in, your lower lip trembling, blinking tears away.
“You should have told me,” he went on. “Instead of inventing this fucking arrangement, you should have just told me.”
“I know. But I wasn’t ready to try and be with you…”
“I would have waited. I would have waited for you.”
“I’m sorry…”
“It was fucked up, Y/N… you… it just… it was so painful to me,” Andrew admitted, trying not to let his voice shake too much. “I felt… I felt like you were just using me. I’ve never felt so terrible about myself… cause I… I was just enough for you to fuck me, and nothing more…”
“No, that wasn’t that at all...”
“That’s how it made me feel. Not all the time, of course. There were so many times when I felt… loved. When I felt like you felt more for me than simple physical attraction; most of the time it was the case. And that… it kind of messed with my brain, made me feel like you wanted more; but every time we were getting closer to an actual relationship, you rejected me. And you kept on doing it, over and over, and sometimes it was so fucking painful. Almost mean. And more than unloved, it made me feel… unlovable. Undesirable. And I know that you deserve better than what I can give you with my career, but…”
“Don’t say that. God, Andy don’t say that…”
You heaved a sigh, and Andrew was taken aback when you suddenly stood up, walked around the table and held him close. He didn’t think as he wrapped his arms around you too, though.
“I love you,” you whispered as you held him close, and felt his entire body relax at your words, tears rising back to his eyes. “God, Andrew… I love you so much. I was just scared. It was just bad timing. And I’m sorry, I’m sorry… I acted like the worst piece of shit, but you are everything but unlovable, okay? How could you think that?”
“Say it again,” he whispered into your neck, noticing the way goosebumps erupted across your skin under his breath. “Say it again.”
“I love you. I love you, Andy…”
Before you could say anything else, he was standing up as well, catching your lips with his in the process.
He heard the shock in your breath, but then your hands were in his hair, and you were pulling him closer, until you were leaning back against the table. His hands on your face to make sure you would stay close. And Christ… the relief of kissing you again, of feeling your lips move perfectly against his at long last, of tasting you once more…
You held him so tightly when you pulled away, arms wrapping around his neck while you rested your forehead against his shoulder.
“Are you dating anyone?” he asked, voice hoarser than usual.
“No…”
“Have you? Since we’ve stopped seeing each other?”
But you shook your head.
“No, nothing. You?”
“No one.”
“Really?”
“You broke my heart… it does take more than a few weeks to get over that,” he chuckled, but you didn’t laugh, merely holding him closer, so close he could barely breathe.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I was so scared. I tried fooling myself into thinking I didn’t love you, but I do. I love you…”
“I’ll wait for you,” Andrew whispered into your hair. “If you’re not ready but you’d be willing to give me a chance, I would still wait for you…”
“I don’t deserve you.”
He chuckled.
“I don’t know about that. But I know that I love you, despite everything that happened. And besides… it wasn’t all bad. Most of it was good.”
“When I didn’t act like an arse, you mean?”
“Exactly.”
“I loved it so much, you know? Whenever I let myself get closer to you… whenever I let myself love you… Christ, I was so happy then…”
“I was too. Whenever you let me in, I was happy with you. We could still be happy together, if you give us a chance.”
“I was breaking my own heart every time, you know? Every time, Andy… It was so fucking hard… but I was so scared…”
He pulled away, took your hands in his. He stared at you with begging eyes.
“If you want to try this, long-distance is going to be hard. It’ll be rough. Real rough.”
“I know.”
“I can’t… I can’t go through this again, Y/N.”
“Me neither. It was awful for me too.”
“So… if we try this… we give it a real try: I take you on a proper date, and we don’t hold back.”
“Are you sure you still want me?”
“Yeah… yeah, I still want you. Do you want me?”
You answered by kissing him, slow and passionate, making him melt against you, wrap his arms around your frame.
“I’m all in for the date,” you whispered against his lips. “But… can we still go to my bedroom now?”
“Before the first date? What about giving me a proper wine-and-dine treatment before taking me to bed, huh?” he playfully answered, grinning into your lips, his heart beating a thousand miles a minute.
“I’ll give you wining and dining and everything in between for our first date, but I really want you, right now…”
You fell silent when he let his lips fall to your neck and his hands rise to your breasts.
Little words were exchanged while you left a trail of clothes on the path to your bedroom, staggering now and then as your lips remained sealed to his most of the way.
Except when you were lying on your bed, head against your pillows, looking up at Andrew with adoring eyes as he hovered over you, staring at you like you had hung up the stars and moon in the sky. While he was trembling at the feeling of your naked skin against his, you raised your hands to hold his face, your thumbs gently brushing his cheeks, and his heart stumbled against his ribcage under your tender touch.
“I love you,” you whispered in the softest voice he had ever heard, adoration oozing from your sweet tone. “I love you, Andy.”
He rested his forehead against yours, lowering his body onto yours to feel as much of your skin against his as he could.
“I love you, Y/N,” he murmured with the same devotion and worship in his deep voice. “I love you so fucking much…”
And when he kissed you again, there was no doubt in either of your minds that this was what love was supposed to feel like.
177 notes · View notes
jog-hog · 26 days
Text
Siblings and secrets don't mix
Dipper x Pacifica
W/C: 1k+
Summary: Mabel's trying to figure out who Dipper is texting so much and finds out it's a certain popular princess of Gravity Falls.
Note: This fic is pure fluff absolutely tooth rotting also I've never posted a fic on Tumblr before I'm mainly an AO3 user so sorry for any formatting issues!
︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶
Back in Gravity Falls
After the events of their first stay in Gravity Falls the twins are not only well known,semi-well-liked they have friends. Friends that come and meet them at the bus as they pull up, friends that sneak out the house to hang out with them and recently friends that text them A LOT when they're not in Gravity Falls.
Dipper had never been big on the whole phone thing instead enjoying nature whenever possible and appreciating literature and writing but recently Mabel's noticed theres been a significant rise in notifications and a very big increase in him checking them (and him showering has gone up marginally). Mabel knew what this meant.
All signs pointed to pine tree having...a girlfriend ?! Of course Mabel has been in her fair share of relationships so it's not really a shocker but Dipper? She didn't even know someone could like Dipper back!
However whenever she'd try to introduce the topic to their conversations he'd shut it down quickly... suspiciously quickly.
Heres what she knew: they texted ALL THE TIME which means they're probably not in our school since she's also caught him sneaking peaks at his phone in school, they care about Dipper showering and that's about it...he really is a stubborn one isn't he? So obviously she had to concoct a plan, dare she say a plot to look onto Dippers phone and answer the very important question: WHO ARE THEY??
As Mabel sat awake in bed trying to figure out who it was she went down her mental list of potential suitors. She knew they weren't that far, Mabel probably knows them too...
Then a lightbulb moment occured
"GRAVITY FALLS!"
She though to herself jumping up in bed, it had to be. Theres only one person, one possible person: Pacifica Northwest! Mabel couldn't believe it, she always got a vibe from the two but couldn't sell herself on it due to Candy's crush but given she's over it and that the two are texting non stop it just HAD to be Pacifica!
In the morning Mabel awoke to the sound of tapping on a phone, Dipper was awake before her which was abnormal and even stranger he was on his phone! Mabel looked at him and smirked
"Who're you texting lil bro?"
"No one!" Dipper exclaimed going red and hiding his phone away from his twin.
"Aw come on Dip we're twins we need to tell eachother everything!"
Dipper sighs going red, Mabel looks at him intently waiting for him to confirm her suspicions.
"..Well" he starts quietly "come closer I'm embarrassed" he says hiding his face in his hands. Mabel simply walks forward
"Whisper I promise I won't tell mom and dad come on!!" She begged
"I've been messaging Pacifica and..." He begins and stops just as quickly getting visibly embarrassed
"AND?" Mabel continues. "AND I think we're dating" he blurts out quickly like he's ripping a band aid off.
There's a silence until Mabel breaks it
"OH. MY. GOD" she begins rambling a mile a minute about how cute they are, begging to see the messages just to know SOMETHING, her little twin was in a relationship!
Dipper sits there laughing grabbing her after a few minutes of this intense rambling
"You can't tell anyone okay? If we tell mom and dad they won't let us go to Gravity Falls it's only a few weeks away now"
Mabel promises her silence and they go about their lives (with much more drama than once before).
On the bus ride to Gravity Falls Mabel notices some persistent texting occurring right next to her, she desperately wanted to know what they were talking about but Dipper would hide away every time she got close enough to read it. Dipper was being far too secretive about this relationship for Mabel's liking and as siblings she had to be annoying at least once on the bus ride over, at this…this was her calling.
Abruptly she snatches the phone out of Dippers hands and shoots herself to the other side of the backseats on the bus, he immediately yells at her to give it back and chases after her as she kicks him off, she begins reading and exclaims
“‘I MISS YOU SO MUCH??’ OMG ‘I LOVE YOU TOO’” she giggles looking at how adorable their conversation is as Dipper yells at her to stop, she continues anyways (as any good sibling would) until he finally manages to crawl over and grab his phone back. Mabel continues laughing as Dipper pouts.
“You need to stop doing things like that” Dipper says moping and shooting his sister a look.
“You need to stop hiding things from me nerd” Mabel says back, shooting him the same look but with a smug grin on her face.
Dipper still looked a bit upset, she realised she probably went a bit too far by reading it out, her smug smile dropped as she looked down at the ground and played with her sweater.
As the awkward silence grows Mabel pierces it again.
“Awkward sibling hug?” She proposes looking at him with a sympathetic ‘this is for real’ look on her face stretching her arms out toward him.
Dippers face breaks it's serious expression and a small smile creeps onto his face, exhaling and turning to face his sister.
“Awkward sibling hug” he says while quietly chuckling and messing with her hair after the semi-robotic “Pat Pat”.
Mabel laughs realizing they're near their real home Gravity Falls and naturally she takes her opportunity:
“We're close to getting off and seeing your new GIRLFRIE-” she says the last bit loudly even though there is no one on the bus at this point except for the poor bus driver who's had to witness all this. Dipper quickly puts his hand over her mouth and pulls away before she licks his palm (again). As they pull up Mabel notices how Dipper immediately scans the crowd for Pacifica as they make eye contact.
“They really like each other don't they ?” Mabel thinks to herself as she smiles and grabs her bags.
The two can't wait for another beautiful and terrifyingly strange summer in Gravity Falls.
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court-jobi · 7 days
Text
Tuning Out, Tuning In
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((banner by me! I don't own Horikoshi's characters or this art))
Pairing: Bakugou x reader (biker!pro hero, some afab pronouns used)
Words: 5.1K
Rating: T+ (language, bc obviously)
Warnings: Pro-Hero Bakugo/Pro-Hero Reader, cursing as a love language, insecurities, arguing, use of hearing aids (not an expert!), light hurt/comfort, she falls first-he falls harder
Summary:
So he's got context clues down. Smart, but not convincing enough. He's still not hearing you- because he can't.  You check on your Katsuki after an unannounced leave of absence, only to discover the true reason why is the source of a mighty insecurity of his that he's expertly kept you out of the loop of till now. He's defensive and mean- uncharacteristically so, towards you when you find out. It's heart-wrenching when he realizes he's snapped at you, and gutting when you love him through it.
A/N: *Can be read as a follow-up in the 'Backpack Privileges' universe, but not necessarily a series. Just how I envision these babies evolving~
For my My Hero Academia Masterlist, check it out here!
Read on AO3
News from the girls at the scheduling counter is  that Dynamight was actually putting in PTO for the first time this calendar year.
Sure he’s worked hard, but when doesn’t he? It wasn't like he expended so much energy from his last rescue call that he was too tired or anything when you’d last seen him… so the time off request surprised you. Katsuki Bakugou never took time off, even when he’s congested to the point of sounding like a wounded seagull and hacking up a lung.
You called to check on him the first day he was out, but it went unanswered; he texted back instead that he was in the middle of eating and asked what you needed. You told him to rest up, and he proceeded to spam you with the same angry animal memes as always. 
At the office, things were at a surprising lull by the end of the week, with Kirishima on your right on the sofa scrolling through some mods Hatsume had for him to review. Meanwhile, you took the rather unprofessional route and scrolled on your phone. Your retort to Kiri’s tutting over the bad habit was that you knew the higher ups were off with Jeanist at some press junket, and you could risk it. Called you a naughty thing, how Bakugou was rubbing off on you. You’re sure even at your hangriest you’re not that prickly. 
An instinct, you try calling Bakugou again, this time on speakerphone. It’s been a whole workweek, after all. It rings twice, then straight to voicemail. You end the call before recording anything, and fuss at the phone in your hand. 
“Ok, Kiri? This is weird.”
“Hm? What is?”
“He’s never answering,” you lock the phone habitually, “-and I mean never. No ‘hi’, no ‘whaddya want’; did he lose his voice or something?”
Kirishima finally breaks focus to look at you, questioning, “Bakubro?”
“Yeah, he hasn’t– not that I’m trying every day or anything, but it’s been almost a week of nothing and-” 
-your phone dings: one new preview of a message from ‘Backpack’ lights your lockscreen, and your frustration ramps up to 60.
“-Then he freakin’ texts– like two seconds later!! What the actual hell is going on with him?!”
Kirishima just snorts.
“Maybe he’s taking a dump~”
“He would not text me on the toilet.”
“All men do it.”
“KIRI.” you swat his foot off the couch that’s laid out towards you, crossing yours while he cackles behind his ipad’s screen.
“Oh cmon, he’s fine! He’s just taking a breather~” Kirishima presses you with an assuring look you’re inclined to buy, because his delivery is just that sweet, “Doesn’t really take time off much anymore, so if he did, he probably needs it. Been doing a lot of those muscle contracts, which pays well! But it’s no joke how much it takes out of you– Kamui wants him, Rocklock wants him-”
You do worry about the workload Bakugou is  under given all the names Kirishima rattles off, but your boy’s assured you it’s all part of his drive. That, and he says Bakugou’s saving up for something important for work, but doesn’t disclose more than that.
You don’t press when Bakugou puts up a wall– knowing full well he tells you things when he’s ready.  Till now, he’s not given an indication that he doesn't distrust you with anything- not even his life. You have each other’s backs, and that’s an honor that you value and reciprocate. Perhaps it’s by that faith in one another that you should grant him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe one of these days under another starry sky from the back of your bike, he may share his whats and hows and whys to that sweet spot behind your ear, disguising his secrets with yet another kiss he saves for when you’re alone.
But this silence is really throwing you a curveball. Katsuki’s voice is just one of the many things you’ve come to adore about him. When you confessed that little thought to him, he turned a soft answer -a promise- that he’d answer when you called, day or night. It’s a gruff, punchy sound when you hear it over coms, or even through your shared helmets; but it’s also rumbling, constant, soothing when you hear it fitted against your ear. 
You never thought you’d even miss Dynamight’s passive aggressive screaming so much– until you don’t have any echo of him in your head at all.
“-or yknow if it’s not his schedule, it’s his body that’s about to quit on him. He’s probably giving his ears a break, if I had to guess!”
“...His ears.”
Kirishima looks up at you again, like his point was obvious, “Yeah. He can’t wear ‘em all the time– they’ve gotta charge, and if he’s sweat them out of their normal place, they pinch-”
Realization forces you to sit up straight, “Katsuki wears hearing aids?”
“Well he has to, with his quirk!” Kirishima tickled himself explaining so, “Kats probably blew out his inner ear in middle school, and it’s only gotten worse the harder he’s trained. He got fitted for new ones sometime last winter which he says are more comfortable than the last ones, but I dunno-” Kirishima cracked his neck in a roll, “I think he keeps' em in too long; and they drive him batty after a while.”
You didn’t like the sound of that. 
Down at your phone, you read the text message fully:
Backpack: Knee deep in dishes. What’s up pretty girl.
You decide to answer,
//Waiting on a call for a pickup, just keeping the couch warm~  Up for a call real quick?
‘Backpack’ takes a minute this time. You reason maybe he’s using speech to text given the perfect grammar.
Backpack: Can’t right now.
// Podcast instead? ((eyes emoji))
Backpack: Pass.
//Kiri misses you… ((sad eyes))
Backpack: No he fucking doesn’t. 
Backpack: Throw him a bone or try some fetch, he’ll be fine.
You don’t even laugh at the image with how much he’s deflecting talking to you. Laying back, your concern must be palpable because Kiri nudges you with his foot, and you stare at its buckles; anything from looking at his face.
“He never turns down food.”
“What d’you mean.”
“I mean, he’ll need to eat~” Kirishima’s never ending support coats his words. “-and I’d be shocked if he’d  turn his Darling DoorDasher down.”
You snorted, “Hush, you.”
Kirishima knew full well about you two- he’s not blind. He knows about dates one, two, well- every date, whether from Bakubro's lips or your own. But while it doesn’t feel new and raw… it feels tender and personal, what you share with your hero off the field– and you don’t want the bubble to burst between you and Katsuki. Not just yet.
-which is why, despite your firm concern deep in your gut reminding you of your plans throughout your shift,  you are nervous for your first time going to his apartment, unannounced. 
You knock four times, then back away to the near side of the door so it doesn’t hit you when it opens. A lull of ‘nothing’ hung in the air.. 
You reconsidered,  suspicion making you  bite your cheek: what if he can’t hear you?
You knock four more times, a bit louder. You’re cringing as you come back to your lean. Shuffling, you do indeed look like a food delivery service- an insistent-looking one, to the couple passing by on the ground floor who look up at you and likely wonder why you don’t just call this a ‘contactless delivery’ and jog on.. 
“Cmon, Kats…” you bemoan before steeling your nerves. You try just three more times, channeling your inner ‘Dynamight’ yourself and banging at a level that would take it off its hinges before cringing away to your waiting spot. 
Bakugou’s neighbor pops his head out of the door opposite you this time– nailing you with a reproachful look. Apologies mouthed, you smile demurely as the sound of a very aware Bakugou approaches now.
“I’M COMING, DAMMIT!”
The neighbor -perhaps wisely- shuts his door as he hears the door about to be unlocked. The way his eyebrows fly up, you infer that he does little to ever cross his hotheaded neighbor.
“ALRIGHT ALREADY- WHAT?!”
He's gorgeous, still. Pissy and caught off his guard, and donned headphones around his neck. But Bakugou double-takes to you with a frozen mouth, watching you push off the siding seemingly unaffected by his outburst and smiling casually.
“Hiya~”
His jaw flexes, but he forces his snarl away. Clearly conflicted at your presence, he pinched his brow.
"Said you were workin’ today. What’re you doing."
"I was in the neighborhood. Brought you a bowl~" you bribed the man's heart with the top way you knew how: a white and red ‘thank you’-covered baggie with the jackpot inside..
He likes kamameshi so he doesn’t hafta chew a ton. If his ear n’ jaw are tired, the softer the better. You can't go wrong with a nice bowl o’comfort…  Not like it’d last long with that guy’s appetite on a good day, anyways! Hah!
Hardly one to refuse you (just as Kirishima lovingly predicted), Bakugou stepped aside to let you in, granting you a gentle stroke on your back as you passed him..
Inside, you trade giving him the bag with his offering of your choice in houseshoes. On the far side of the room, the TV is on, including a scroll of subtitles. You look about and the place is spotless- he wasn’t lying about the rage cleaning.
"In the neighborhood, huh?" Bakugou called to you, dishing out the box of takeout while watching you get settled in.
You already said so, but made sure to face him as you speak- eyes all on you. You think that making a sweet delivery is reason enough for your presence here,
"Yeah~ the office drew a short straw on the menu this week, so I’ve been eating out more~ still don’t know how you can mess up potatoes, but sure enough, Feefee’s found a way~" you smile, coming up to his side with a little lilt in your step.
-but Bakugou just drones back,
"Overdue on our lunches, aren’t we sweets. We'll go do something this weekend."
Oh boy. You’re really bad off. A diss at the agency kitchen staff would never go unnoticed by the resident lunch snob, you think to yourself. You may not have lightning fast quips like Kaminari, but c'mon, that was a little funny…
Any other time that Bakugou would willingly suggest a date would thrill you. Maybe he’s even aware that he’s been avoiding you, and is trying to make up for it by suggesting a couple places offhand. But knowing the real reason behind the aversion, it doesn’t warm you the way it always does. 
His answer was typical and wasn't really related to what you asked at all, so you watch him take some bites and try again.
You trailed over to his dining kitchenette, taking a seat before him, tone lovely and appropriate for the distance between you. 
“You should have seen Kiri’s attempt to make my coffee order. Almost put a pump of salmon oil in instead of simple syrup! But hey, that just means job security for you, yeah? You’re so much better at it.”
You make eyes at the tv behind you as you speak- a test. 
He catches your intentional look, but he twists in his seat to glance. Then, focuses back on you and not making a mess of his dish, “Yeah, you can change it if you want.”
So he's got context clues down. Smart, but not convincing enough. Still not hearing. 
You try once more, sass tinting your voice as if you were teasing him privately.
"We adopted a purple hippo as an office pet~"
"Mhm," Bakugou picked up on the attitude, pausing and coming to your side with a bit of a swagger he hopes looks natural, "Sure been a crazy week. Missed a lot. We’ll get back to normal soon, yeah? Cmon, let's go watch somethin’."
Your hands fall to your thighs in a resigned slap. Sighing, you look to him desperately, urging him with more enunciation. 
"This is bad, Katsuki."
"What's so bad." Bakugou reads your lips and deflects.
You tap your ear with a sympathetic look.
– his demeanor changes. Horribly.
Bakugou steps away in almost disbelief, edgy and firm: a rolling boil starts to simmer behind his eyes. Turning aside, he huffs. Guilty. 
He turns tail to the kitchen, cursing under his breath to ‘give him a second.’ Bakugou pushes his stacks of cleaned dishes aside, making a clash of noise even you flinch at. It’s evident the sound doesn’t phase him. 
"No, you don't have to put them-"
"I can't fucking HEAR YOU, woman; give me a DAMN SECOND!!"
Coming around the island after him, you see he’s trying to get at the charging dock on the backside of his butcher block.
Watching him fiddle with just his right ear, he turns back and faces you prickly as ever, with arms crossed and barely attempting to rein in his anger.
You are sure now you've struck a nerve if he's acting like this around you. You tread carefully,
"I'm not here to just yap your head off, or commandeer your days off. I… was just concerned."
"About what? I'm fine."
"It's been five days,” you stress gently, “you didn't think I would think it’s weird if you didn’t answer once?"
"I answered you back every time," Bakugou raised his voice a tick, "Every text– never left you on read, cuz I know that feels shitty!"
"I know you did," you give him credit, "But it's– different when we talk, and you know that difference. It's just that you always call back. It just hasn’t felt normal -for you- is all. And I didn’t know there was going to be a reason like this that’s why."
"Well it's not like I could hear the phone ring anyway, so fuck me for that. How the hell’d you find out anyway."
"...I didn't know until Kirishima said something. I was telling him I-"
"Of course it fucking was,” Bakugou huffed again, “Well, it's none of his business, it’s not his problem, and he should kept his DAMN mouth shut."
To trash Kirishima like this -hotheaded and bitter- definitely feels more like an attack than he'd ever mean on a good day. Kiri is his best friend, and clearly close enough to have been there at the first fitting and have a picture perfect memory of it because it mattered so much to his buddy to be there for him. To not let it define him.
You can't pretend to know how sensitive of a subject this is, based on how confident Bakugou is with everything in life: even the litany of scars he wears outlining his hero work aren't off limits to discussion. But his answers come armed with cached ammo and heat.
You certainly don't think yourself entitled to everything about him, but you see now that he clearly hadn’t planned to tell you about his wearing hearing aids, or at least hadn’t intended for you find out this way… so someone had to take the brunt of his ire. You think to be grateful he doesn’t appear ready to snap at you, but you feel so much on the outside, it hurts to watch him sizzle. 
You try to take the pressure off the leak of the news, "Where's this coming from, hon?"
Bakugou grunts, looking back to you with a raised brow. 
You gestured between you just to talk with your hands a little, "Where  is  this  coming-"
"HELL IF I KNOW!” Bakugou shouts back, “It just IS. I just wanted- it-- Look, just fuckin’ drop it, ok? I will. be back. tomorrow. And everything’ll be like it was before you knew a damn thing, ALRIGHT??"
He's defensive and mean now; the pitch he never aimed at you before now entered the ring.
This was a line you were damned sure not to let any man cross.
"Ok, we're gonna try that again,” you spoke plain as day.
"Try WHAT again??"
"Discussing, not fighting." You stood firm at his counter. You will not be taking up a screaming match under any circumstances, and have to make that clear. "Coming up with an answer -together- because that's what we do when our backs are up against the wall... Not bite the hand that's trying to help. ‘Hit the problem, not the player’."
The words resonate with Bakugou, having been the one who shot that reminder to you not a week ago from his own mouth, and everything in that face full of fire wants to rear back– 
"-and before you say ANYTHING else... You will. not. talk to me like that."
You hear the hero’s palms sizzle, and see by the look of hatred he glares at them with that he clearly hates the feel. 
Bakugou lets out a growl then goes silent, obeying. He takes a little pace around, finally settling at the tall, bar-height stool, rubs his palms compulsively at his thighs as a reset, and pulls at his head until it lays dejected in those explosive hands propped up on his knees.
Your invitation to stand by him opens when he lifts his head and scowls behind tented fingers. Kindly, you make sure to stand closer to his right to give him the best chance of catching your words.
"Y'know I'm the last one who's ever gonna give you a hard time for this, don’t you?"
Bakugou doesn't answer, but you know he's listening.
"It's hard for me to take time off work too, I don't do it as much as I should. I know it's hard to leave work at work, and you did that on your own, in order to take care of yourself. You know your limits and that’s keeping you alive. That was really wise."
You see a little bob of the head by the slight jostle of his hair.
What bothers you here and now isn’t just selfish thoughts of ‘why didn’t he tell me’, but ‘why didn’t he tell anyone’? It’s clear by what you’ve learned that next to no one knows of his condition. That small aspect of this gives you a little comfort, but opens up a bigger dose of worry. Hearing impairment might be perceived by a bystander as a defect or weakness, but for the old friends and medical experts who surely surround him, you’d feel confident in Bakugou’s care to know he’d surely not think of himself that way. 
Surely not… surely not?
“But the thing is, if it's coming down to you hurting and needing help- or just, getting time away if that's what you really want, I can totally get that. But  between you and I? We've gotta figure out how you really feel about this, because it’s eating at you. Affects everything you do at some point, right? Can't have you working yourself to the bone here, overworking your senses out there, feeling like you can’t speak for days on end, setting things off, either. Even accidentally."
You swipe along his shoulder and arm sweetly, just for a little connection.
“I… I really do care about you, Katsuki. I don't want you to feel you have to manage it all on your own.  I want to be someone you can have in your back pocket for help- even with something like this.”
A ‘ride or die’ offer if there ever was one.
Bakugou looks in the direction of your hand. The smooth, unscarred hand you sport is so different from his own. Proof of the softness he lost a long time ago, his sunken eyes tell you. He blinks, and it’s a pensive, sad sight. 
 "M'sorry." 
The hoarseness in that proud voice fell hollow.
To anyone else, it may sound apathetic and half-assed, but Bakugou held so much ‘punch’ in his daily speech that you realized this apology featured the even breath of emotion. Restraint. His control. His gentleness.
“You can't help how your body works, Kats. You don't have to apologize for what's happening naturally. This is... just a side effect, unfortunately.”
“T’snot that,” he said limply.
A second attempt to finish for him, you try again studying the takeout boxes left open. “I.. get you not telling me, too. It’s not my business either.”
Bakugou shakes his head, with a dismissive shake of the head altogether. Instead he lifts up, miserably.
"I don't talk to you that way."
Through a brief silent showdown, you accept his apology. As rough as he is even with his own mother, Bakugou has framed a different ring for you two to dance in, and harshness doesn’t belong in it.
"You don’t,” the agreement is established, “that's how I knew something's out of whack. Plus, I mean.. if you can’t pick up background noise, it must be hard trying to match volume in a space, right?"
Bakugou’s hoarseness fails him, falling to which air, "That's a shit poor excuse. You were right. I know the difference." 
Meekly reaching for hip, the man sniffles: pulling you the rest of the way between his bent legs. 
You step in and he crumbles into your core, strong hands encircling your hips. 
"I'm sorry," he swears.
"It's ok..."
Bakugou squeezes you in, "It's not. Ok. You should have slapped me for that shit.”
“I’m not doing that, either,” you get weary hearing how the guys rough each other up. You’re certainly not applying the same tactics to him of all people.
“Well, it’s inexcusable. I respect you more than to do that. Know better.”
"I forgive you, then."
"You shouldn't, so easily.”
Chin jutted on his still-bowed head, your answer comes simply but openly:
"...That's commonly called love, Katsuki. I love you. That’s what I do."
He's silent and frozen. The only sign of life is that he is -in fact- breathing still.
You said these, the magic words, in record time for anyone you've held affection for... and you didn't care. You loved Katsuki. Loved all of him. Even the prickly bits that threatened to square up at you like  a bull. 
Friendship was an surprisingly easy test for you two.
Partnership, battle-proven in the public sphere. 
But this is the final straw that you’ve been keeping safe and special. Telling Katsuki you loved him would push things to a deeper level than you felt the term ‘boyfriend’ afforded you both at thirty years old. In loving him, and no one else, you just wanted to call him ‘yours’ already and be done with searching for the One.
Since he doesn’t speak, you busy yourself elsewhere. He may not answer nearly as quickly as you given how on-the-spot he mulls in currently… but he hasn’t let go of you, which is a good sign. Good enough for you.
Your mind veers a bit in the quiet. You think to yourself about what feels nicest when you've had your helmet on too long; athletes deal with it, racers deal with it.. Anyone who wears a support item with internal padding giving cushion around the head is bound to force unnatural pressure on every angle for the sake of protection. 
On you, this tension lies just behind the ears. 
To soothe it, you’d usually draw a sun: a half circle design, zigzagging up and down with your fingertips, creating lines of relief along the tender sides of your head. It's to help the blood flow, and the scratches crackle nicely to the ear canal. Acts as white noise to the senses which is often a welcome change to the low thrum of a headache or grating road noise.
So with careful fingers, a mind set on comfort and a heartful of soft love for this man, you draw twin suns deep within Katsuki's hair.
…within seconds, he wept.
Bakugou softly cries and he holds you close. He turns in his seat, pulling you to fit even tighter between his knees with no gap of room between you.
When he can regulate his breaths down to calm blows from his lips, he shares more what's on his mind, down the space between you.
"...that feels really good."
"I hoped so~. So your head bothers you too, after a while. Having them in all the time?"
He turns his head finally to rest on one side, the functionally deaf side leaning into your chest... listening out for a heartbeat it seems.
“N’it’s all inside, so it’s hard to touch it unless I pump myself full of horsepills… makes m’stomach hurt."
From head to toe, he’s being honest about what this means for him. "The thing that’s meant to help, hurts? I’m sorry, hon."
He's still swallowing back his emotions, so you don't press for what he wants to say when it's clear he's focused on getting good rhythm back.
"My arm gets numb sometimes, too."
You're surprised at this, as more pieces fit together you didn’t know were necessarily missing, "-Yeah?"
"It's somethin' in the tendons. Can fight fine, but small moves are weird. I can't pick up a fucking piece of paper right. N'holding my phone hurts some days."
With a kiss to his hair, you see the teed-up ‘in’ to make him laugh,
"Well, who're you gonna be texting anyway, now that I won't be blowing up your phone?"
He tuffs. Joking aside, you hugged you close. “Gotta to back to that dumbass doctor, don't I."
"They can check your nerve endings with a scan. See if there's a reason for it."
Bakugou accepts this and continues his baring of his heart. He mentions old pains, some new ones, even some random details about which oscillating fans he likes on or off because of how warm he runs. Some of it relates to his work, some not, but you take it all in. Each little snippet he offers up reminds you of penguin pebbling. 
Satisfaction rang through you with the news that caused the biggest physical response in him: he confessed after all that he hadn’t wanted to ignore you at all, and it shows.
His hands massage at you– never getting enough.
“V’missed your voice too,” Bakugou’s voice finally seeps back in- that low, growly rumble of the chest you wanted to play on loop, “But I know I needed that break. I wanted 'em out, just for a little while. Even if I didn’t want to miss the good that comes from keepin’ em in.”
“That’s fine to want. Anytime you need.”
Bakugou turns exploratory with his hand. With the one not locked around your waist keeping you to him, he gives long scritches across your back, up front to hold your side- rooting him. 
“N’for the record, not everyone knows. It’s probably in a record somewhere, so it’s not really been taboo or anything. No one’s ever banned me from fighting; not yet at least. It’s not a secret. But… s’been so long, I’ve… never had to explain them to anyone. Sure as shit don't tell the public.”
Tender fingers seek out the soft inner side of your wrist, just a small touch.
“But you…I didn’t know how to open that up. Seems like a random ass thing to drop on you.”
You understand, and think it sweet that he at least had contemplated telling you at some point– but now, you could only look to his future and knew this would only help you moving forward.
"Nothing’s random if it’s important to you. So head scratches are a yes. Fast food is a yes, keeps you out of the stores. Anything else I should keep in mind to help?"
Bakugou thinks, but just holds onto you with a little nuzzle, "Not now. Yer doin’ it."
Happy and soft, you smile, "Okey~"
After a minute, he's matched your breathing, and you only move when he lifts his head to chin up at you from his spot. You smile expectantly seeing him less harsh around the edges and looking at you on the softer side of pitiful. Like he's looking to you for the solution-- neck bared and showing a rare vulnerability.
"You're my hero, Kats," you dote on him. Hands through his hair, scritching at the base, "y'know that right?"
"Damn right."
"And you aren't anywhere near throwing in the towel over this."
His smirk returned, "Damn right."
Bakugou’s neck received more soothing treatment again– making his eyes flutter, 
"Because my Lord Explosion has way too many baddies left to murder before he allows anyone get to his getaway driver, right?"
Finally showing signs of his spark back, Bakugou growls his pleasure. 
"Y'talking about murder does things to a man, baby."
"Thought it might... I mean every word though. You take such good care of me, Kats. Let me do the same for you sometimes, ok?"
"... Yeah alright," he finally caves easily with tepid palms smoothing over the back of your thighs. Still keeping you close, forehead falling to rest against you, you feel finally content that your presence has helped him. 
All your one-sided concerns now settled, you feel glad that your update to Kirishima later will share that Bakugou’s okay– and will likely add in a fair heads-up that he might still be pissy with him come Monday.
After some cursory scratches across his shoulders, you remember to hold out a hand by his eye level. Bakugou hums when he notices it, and raises his hand to hold yours-- only for you to dodge it, and keep it open.
Let me have it, silly.
After checking ‘what on earth you were getting at’, he tilts to see your fingers open again. The blond head of hair at your chest sighs, decides, then takes the lone hearing aid out and returns it into your open palm. With careful depositing, you set it on the counter behind you with the note-to-self to put it back with its mate– and return your hands to yours.
Bakugou centered himself by breathing you in. Once he had you snug in his arms again, he pressed a firm kiss through your shirt, hoping you felt everything he couldn’t say behind a tight throat. 
You thought it silly, but with him resting fairly tame right on your chest, you thought you'd try a little enrichment for him:
That stupid song from the pop-up takeaway truck was still stuck in your head, so you started humming it to him. 
With how high you stood above him doling out scritches to his temple, you missed how his eyes opened for a flash in recognition of today’s current brainrot love ballad; but you didn't miss how he pressed in closer to you and really listened.
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deerspherestudios · 9 months
Text
📖FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS📖
Regarding asks, I typically avoid:
stacked questions (asks that have more than one question, so honestly, sending them one by one is better than writing a bunch in one go)
hyperspecific scenarios (while I enjoy answering these, some can get incredibly specific to the point where it doesn't even feel fun anymore)
questions that have already been answered (obviously)
To manage the blog, I usually queue up asks instead of posting them instantly, so it might take several weeks for me to respond. Please be patient! And while I appreciate the time and thought taken to writing me a message and the growing interest in the game, understand I'm still one person and will sometimes leave a message unanswered. Thank you. ❤️
Below is a compilation of questions I get a lot, so if you have a question feel free to check if it's already been answered! The list will update as needed:
🎮 F.A.Q ABOUT THE GAME 🎮
1. What is Mushroom Oasis❔ What is the rating❔
Mushroom Oasis is a visual novel made in Ren'Py that was initially released for the 2023 Yandere Game Jam. It's currently still in development as a solo project. I post updates almost exclusively on this tumblr so if you're interested in the game, you're in the right place. The rating is 16+. How did I come up with the concept?
2. How many days will the game have❔ When will it release❔
I initially planned it to have 4-5 days! But with some new ideas and routes I'm considering, it might extend to 5+ days. As for a release date, it's done when it's done. So please allow me the time to develop it at my pace <3
3. Will the game be translated to other languages❔
I'll be honest, I had no plans to. However, a few people have reached out volunteering to. I'll say for now I'm open to the idea, but I prefer people asking permission first. First and foremost, ask first.
4. Will the game be available for mobile❔ Will the game be free❔
For now, a hard no. I have zero clue how to make it available for mobile. Maybe I'll consider it once the game is fully released, but it's only for PC and Mac for now, as those are the default builds in Ren'Py.
And yes, the game will be completely free.
5. Is NSFW content allowed❔
Considering the main love interest is an adult, that's fine. However I'd appreciate proper filtering of NSFW content considering the game's age rating means there's more than a few minors in the fandom. NSFW questions aren't allowed on the blog.
Keep it where it's meant to be with proper tagging separate from the '#mushroom oasis vn' tag. Using '#mushroom oasis nsfw' should be enough? I hope.
NOTE: Now, I understand some people are really passionate about Mychael being asexual, but I can't bring myself to police people for mischaracterizing his asexuality, nor would I want to gatekeep him either.
He's a fictional character first and foremost, and while representation is important!!!/gen /srs I don't want to bring attention to any such content in case it brings unwanted harrassment on that creator for posting such content.
Please don't do that. Let people make what they wanna make. It's unfortunate, but fandom will be fandom.
6. Will there be other love interests? Will it have multiple endings❔
Due to project scope, the only romance-able character for MO is Mychael himself. The game will have multiple endings however, ranging from romantic ending, platonic ending to creepy/bad endings (because, y'know, yandere).
7. Will there be official merch?
Since I'm just done with college and newly married, the extra income would be nice! I have to plan for it and work out some logistics, but I will be working on something on the down low.
🍄 F.A.Q ABOUT MYCHAEL🍄
1. What are his pronouns and sexuality and age❔
He identifies as male, uses he/him pronouns and is a panromantic asexual. He's older than you think. ::-)
2. Is Mychael's name based off 'mycelium'❔
Yep!
3. What is his height❔
He's 6'2. He used to be 5'8.
4. When is his birthday❔
Initially it was 15th February! Simply because I happened to start designing him that day, hence his 'creation'.
I might pick another date though; for now, his birthday is undecided.
5. Favorite food and drink❔
He loves fried mushrooms and tomato juice! He hates spicy food though, as the smell and taste makes him physically ill.
6. Do you have a voice claim for him❔
Initially it was Jonathan Groff, specifically his role as Kristoff in Frozen. But nowadays I'm not sure. Feel free to give suggestions! Do note I imagine him sounding as an older male in his late 20s.
7. What is Mychael's love language❔
I explain it in-depth here!
TL;DR: He likes giving gifts, and likes receiving words of affirmation.
8. How is Mychael's affection towards MC (blog-centric only)❔
So for context, as I manage the blog sometimes Mychael makes an appearance in answered asks. His answers can change depending on when you ask at the current state of the demo:
Day 1:
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Day 2:
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Day 3:
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EXTRAS:
Mychael's Character Ref
Firefly (MC)'s Character Ref
Mychael's Playlist
Mushroom Oasis' Playlist
Bad Ending 1 Explained
321 notes · View notes
imraespace · 3 months
Text
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STREAMERS! ★ ˎˊ˗
..CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2! || CHAPTER 3..
────────────────────────────
@kh.fan01: you're not y/n..
@ilovelinkk: since when was y/n a boy?
@gamergirl123: well.. obviously it's not her..
──────────────
Muichiro stared at the comments flying in as he hit the stream button.
You left him with one job:
"You can start the stream while I go collect my package! Remember to invite the others and explain everything!"
You told him as you left the house.
What package? It doesn't really concern him and he really don't care about it. All he knew was you could've just asked your mother to collect it and not leave him alone here but it's you so..
"Um.."
He let out a sigh as he saw more comments fly in.
@kh.fan01: who are you🤨
"Y/N's friend." He started.
"Shes not here as yet but she left me here to stream for her until she's back."
@pooper3000: where is y/n?
"Why are you all asking so many questions.. and why is your username pooper3000.." Muichiro mumbled.
His phone went off which caused him to check it. It was a notification from the groupchat.
He opened it, completely forgetting about the stream.
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MITSURI HAS JOINED!
"Finally.." Muichiro said to himself
The pink haired girl opened up her phone to view the chat and was greeted with a bunch of compliments.
"Ooh!! So many compliments, thank you!" She said, smiling while holding one of her cheek.
The chat grew happy upon seeing a new friend joining.
Oh right, Muichiro just remembered he has to explain to them.
"Uh, Y/N told me to explain something to you all." He started.
That chat started to spam with a bunch of questions.
The boy tried to explain as best as he could, having Mitsuri in the back to help him out.
After a long explanation, they all understood what they meant and were very much happy to have the others to join the stream.
SHINOBU HAS JOINED!
OBANAI HAS JOINED!
"The others have joined!" Mitsuri said, waving at her camera as they both waved back.
"Not everyone but this is good enough." Obanai said.
"What are we even supposed to do?"
"Y/N said to talk." Muichiro answered.
"Talk.." Obanai mumbled as he glared at the camera.
"How about we play a game?" Shinobu spoke up.
"Yes a game! How about on roblox?" Mitsuri responded.
"What game on roblox?"
"Hmm.. I've been playing that Hello Kitty Cafe so why not that one?"
"Say what now." Obanai replied.
"Yep! Join me!" She continued.
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S.FLOWERS_ HAS JOINED THE GAME
LOVE.MITSURI HAS JOINED THE GAME
OBANAIIGURO123 HAS JOINED THE GAME
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muichiro123456:
your name is so bland
obanaiiguro123:
ik you're not talking.
muichiro123456:
I asked y/n to name me that so I won't forget it.
love.mitsuri:
I think both of your names are good!
obanaiiguro123:
thank you.
s.flowers_:
obanai let me in your world.
obanaiiguro123:
..why..
s.flowers_:
why not?
──────────────
Why does one want to enter world?
Only because! Shinobu caught him playing the game, she asked him about it but he denied ever entering the game, denying everything she saw.
──────────────
obanaiiguro123:
...
fine.
──────────────
Obanai caved in and let her in, actually he let everyone in.
"Why is your cafe better than mines.." She mumbled.
Muichiro started to roam around it.
"A three-story kuromi themed Cafe.." He mumbled.
"You all are just bad at the game." He replied.
"I didn't know you played the game Obanai?" Mitsuri asked, as her avatar walked up to his.
"I only started it for you so we can play together.." He mumbled.
"REALLY??!" She exclaimed.
Soon both Shinobu and Muichiro had to witness the couple tried to make their avatars hug.
"What am I watching.." Muichiro mumbled
──────────────
Soon about 2 hours had past and your chat grew impatient and demanded that you return.
Muichiro rolled his eyes at them and simply said:
"I can't control her."
Before he could respond to another rant, he got a message from you.
"Finally.."
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"She's coming home soon." Muichiro said.
@gamergirl123: finally. yall gameplay is trash.
"Oh." Mitsuri said.
@gamergirl123: not you tho!
"Oh?" Shinobu now spoke up.
Muichiro sighed. How do you even deal with this..
Talking about you, you're currently trying to get out of this free trip to the restaurant you very much hate.
But this "Douma" person doesn't wanna take NO as answer.
"We have the best spot open for you to come try out a few meals!" He said offering his had out towards you.
You stared at his hand, then back up at him.
With a smile, you began to speak.
"I already said, No. Thank. You! I would like to go on my way now." You ended as you made your way around him.
"But you-"
"SOMEONE HELP IM BEING KIDNAPPED-"
"OKAY IM LEAVING" He said as he ran away, leaving you alone just like you wanted!
You looked around as people stared at you.
"I'm never doing that again.." You mumbled as you ran off towards your neighborhood.
──────────────
You made it back home, with a box in your hand and restaurant free. What's inside the box you may wonder? It's whatever game your interested in at the moment and a bunch of items related to it.
You opened your door and greeted your mother, then made your way up into your room.
Upon opening the door, your ears was the first to hear the insulting words that came out of your friend's mouth, as he bad mouthed your chat. And was also playing princess castle tycoon with the others.
"How's it going?" You asked, startling the poor boy.
He looked at you then back at your screen.
"Look at my castle."
"I love it 10/10."
"Thank you."
Your eyes made its way towards your chat and saw it changed from aggressive to excitement, seeing that you're back.
"Haha my fans missed me."
"No one cares."
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STREAMERS!
☆ Douma got picked on after he made it back to the restaurant without a single customer.
☆ IT was most likely from Akaza.
EXTRA!:
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TAGLIST: @deezy12299 (OPEN)
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redhoodkisser · 10 days
Text
sittin' here
you see your date dancing and kissing another girl at prom – who'll take you now? oh, wait, dick is right there.
warnings : none!
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You were sitting down against the wall, sobbing right outside the gymnasium, where your yearly prom was always held. This year, your crush had asked you out to prom. You hadn't really thought anything suspicious of it, obviously accepting the invite. Your best friend, Dick, advised you not to go to prom with the guy, but how could you not? You liked him!
And here you are right now, sobbing your eyes out as he was seen dancing with another girl on the dance floor and pulling her in for a kiss. It broke your heart when you saw the scene unfold, which led to the present. You take your phone out, texting your friends and letting them know of what you saw in the gymnasium. You get immediate responses, comforting messages from everyone. A small smile creeps up onto your face.
You feel a tap on your shoulder, causing you to snap out of it and look at whoever the hand belonged to. It was your best friend, Dick! “Oh, hi, Dick. Aren't you going inside?" You say as you wipe the tears off your face, trying to hide the fact that you were crying. Which definitely failed because he was already squinting his eyes at you in suspicion.
“Where's your date? I thought you'd be inside the gym with him right about now.” He asked, crossing his arms against his chest as he was skeptical of your "casual" greeting. Well, there goes your plan of pretending you didn't see your date dancing and kissing another girl. You shake your head at him, “Dick, it's really not that important. I just.. didn't want to dance. That's all, no biggie.” You'd wish it were true right now. But, you also took the time to check him out. He was in his tuxedo, of course, with his hair styled in its usual style except it was tidier.
“Uhuh, well, I wish I could believe you right now, but, I'm not gonna pretend like you weren't crying a minute ago. Come on, what'd he do?” He sat down next to you, looking at you intently as he waited for your explanation. You let out a sigh, “you aren't gonna leave me alone 'till I explain, am I right?” He nodded, “yep. So, I'm gonna sit right here, next to you, until you give me an explanation. Fair enough, right?”
You were hesitant on telling him, but you knew he was gonna keep to his word. “I was gonna meet up with my date inside of the gym, but..” Your words trailed off, struggling with saying the words, afraid you were gonna burst tears in front of him. He noticed this and wrapped his arm around your shoulder. Not gonna lie, it was comforting. He patted his arm on your shoulder. “Hey, hey, it's okay. You can let it out, I'm not judging. You know I'll never judge you, ever.” He reassured you, “now, tell me.”
“..He was dancing and kissing another girl.” You murmured out as your eyes begin watering, tears threatening to fall out. Oh, he was so shocked when he heard that. He knew the guy was an asshole and tried to warn you to no avail. But, he wasn't going to start scolding you. It wasn't your fault at all. He pulled you into a hug, his hand gently rubbing circles on your back.
“It's not your fault, okay? Just remember that it isn't your fault.” He was fuming, having the urge to just beat that guy up! But, right now, he needs to be there for you. “What's wrong with me, Dick? What's so awful about me that he just had to ditch me?” You sobbed into his shoulder, breathing all hitched as you let it all out. You were just so frustrated, you just.. don't know what else to say other than express your frustration. “Hey, come on, don't say that. You're amazing! You're awesome to be around, you're always there for your friends, you're always.. so gorgeous.” He muttered that last part. Before he could take it back, you had heard it so you look up at him.
“You.. you really think I'm gorgeous?” You asked in between hitched breaths, sniffling and wiping your runny nose. His cheeks reddened. “Well.. yeah. Who wouldn't think so? I wouldn't have ditched you if I were him.” Well, now you feel your own cheeks burning up when he said that. “That's.. nice of you." You let out a small chuckle.
There was a short moment of silence as he scanned your face, his eyes immediately drawn down to your lips. He swallowed his saliva as he slowly leaned in. “Can I..?" He asked, followed by you nodding. He was nervous, but just leaned in and pressed his lips against yours. It was such a delicate kiss. Your stomach was immediately and immensely blooming with butterflies, your hands grabbing the collar of his tux and pulling him in closer. His head was buzzing a bit, not believing this moment was happening right now. Your heart was pumping so fast, all the blood rushing through your veins and all the way to your head.
You pull away first, your chest heaving up and down as you panted heavily. Dick was in the same condition. You both stared at each other, cheeks burned up, heavy breathing. You could feel this moment getting.. slightly awkward so you let out a dry chuckle. “Wow, I..” you were at a loss for words, running a hand through your hair.
“That was.. something I've wanted to do for awhile now. You know, when I first saw you and talked to you, you were just.. I don't know, something about you pulled me in. Everything about you is perfect in every way I couldn't imagine. You make me happy. I didn't want to get in the way of you and your date because I wanted to make you happy to repay you for making me feel so damn happy whenever I'm with you. And, I think I can proudly call you mine now.” He grinned, snaking his arms around your waist and pulling you in closer.
“Let's do this again,” he inhaled, “will you go to prom with me?” He asked. You felt your heart beating as if it was going to explode into a pile of glitter. “Yes! I-I wouldn't turn you down.” You wrap your arms around his neck, his grin widening. “Knew you'd say that.”
He said in a smug voice before pulling you in for a more tender kiss than before.
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note ; SORRYYYY LATE UPLOAD 😭😭 hope u guys enjoy this fic that was slightly rushed :3 also this fics inspiration came from prom dress by mxmtoon!! anywayss, have a good day/night!
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silverzoomies · 3 months
Note
Ok so I've been a fan of Evan since days of future past came out. Like, the day it came out. I saw the premier or whatever it's called in theaters so DUH I LOVE QUICKSILVER SO MUCH 😞😞 anyways I know you're not taking requests but like I'm a little bit chubby (this is relevant I swear) and I CANNOT stop thinking about Peter and reader! being in a serious long term relationship, but they haven't gone all the way yet. Like, heavy make out session? Yes! Peter getting painfully hard during said make out session? Check. Make out session turns into peters desperately grinding, letting out the neediest little whines. Absolutely. Him definitely busting in his pants at readers! breathless little moans? Every. Single. Time. Never all the way though. He desperately wants to bone but he's willing to wait as long as he wants to because he thinks reader! doesn't want to, but they're just as desperate as he is but scared of what he would think because they're chubby. During one of their heated.. laundry day inducing make out sessions one thing leads to another and reader! ends up telling Peter why they haven't wanted to go all the way, and Peter proves to them he doesn't think that [;)] and talks reader! through it the whole time.
YOU DONT HAVE TO ADD THIS TO YOUR REQUESTS OR TURN IT INTO A FIC IF YOU DONT WANT TO. I just had to share this with somebody and OBVIOUSLY because you're one of my favorite writers I had to come to you with this (hi I've sent u a lot of messages 🎀) and since you're another huge quickie fan I thought you'd enjoy this :3 SORRY IF THIS WAS SUPER LONG OR IF IT DIDNT MAKE SENSE I'm mad at typing sometimes smh
helllooooooo anon, my lovely !!! i love you so much !! forgive me, i haven't written in a while !! i tried my best to make somethin' out of this because it was such a cute idea !! i hope a headcanon list will suffice !! also, please don't ever apologize for sending me long asks. i'm not kidding when i say they make my day, i love them so much !!
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headcanons || peter maximoff x chubby!reader
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to preface, i think we should consider some key things about our speedy goofball
peter’s a mutant. he knows exactly what it feels like to be alienated for something he has no control over
second of all, the guy’s a little bit of a weirdo
i legitimately doubt he would judge, or think less of anyone for something as superficial as looks
seriously. If he vibes with you, and you’re patient enough with him - you’re sexy as hell
it’s as simple as that, sorry. just bein' honest
so what if you’re a little thicker? he can’t get enough of you
he’s so addicted to you, in fact, you’ve got him trippin’ a little bit
like, he’s kinda goin’ cuckoo
the two of you make out a lot. so much. it’s like you’re glued to one another. any free time you have together usually consists of hanging out, and making out. not that he’s complaining
it’s definitely awesome. and it feels totally great. he does this freaky thing with his tongue that makes you squirm under him every time 
and the way you whine into each smooch - oh, man - you have him longing to get even closer
make outs eventually turn to dry humping. it’s kind of humiliating the first few times...
...since the grinding always seems to end with him busting a load in his jeans. and he whimpers too much...jeez...
but you always praise him for it, which never fails to turn him on even more
things get so heated between the two of you, escalating so often - peter finds himself confused
like…why haven’t you let him…y’know…
once or twice, he hints he wants to go down on you. and there’s no way you misread his signals. he’s pretty blunt about his needs
but you’re always so reluctant. you feign ignorance, or try to distract him with more intense kisses and pretty moans
peter’s never been a patient guy. the fact that he’s willing to wait this long for you says a lot. like, shit…he must really really really like you
but even now…fuck…he’s so worked up. he’s getting a little too bored of being limited to smooching
like, c’mon…do you think he’s ugly or something?? does he smell?? what’s the deal??
he never considered you might be self conscious. his brain doesn’t really operate like that. he’s all impulsivity and living in the moment
in the midst of making out, his hands travel where they don’t usually dare to go. he takes confident chances, fondling your tits over your clothes. but just as things heat up, you redirect his attention again
his blood almost boils. he’s way too hard for this, aching to get closer, and you’re just…gah! why’re you holdin’ yourself back? 
at last, you confess…you’ve been self conscious the whole time
ah
why didn’t you just say somethin’ before? peter tries not to laugh at how silly you sound. obviously, he’s super attracted to you. why else would he spend all his free time with you, tryna get up close and personal?
as things finally move forward, he dials up the sweetness a few notches
and damn, the wait for this was more than worth the uptick in laundry days (thanks to one too many nuts busted in his boxers)
he covers every last inch of your gorgeous body in kisses, as you let him shed you of your clothes
his masculine hands are more gentle than you expect
unclothed together, he doesn’t hesitate to get as close as he possibly can
you’re soft and cozy, and his body is like a furnace
months of pent-up desire leave him so horny, he can’t hold back anymore
through it all, he’s quick to remind you how much of a fox you are. peter teases you with his tongue in ways you never imagined possible. before rocking your world, flowing with the motion of the ocean
and by that, i mean…you bone. balls deep. hellz to the yeah
embarrassingly enough, it ends just as soon as it starts. but as usual, he recovers fast. and his endless stamina means he’s willing to go at it for hours
which he does. until you’re so exhausted, your limbs are like limp noodles. whoops...sorry about that !!
say...uh...no chance you'd wanna go another round, is there?
peter hopes you’ll be more up front with him from now on. so he spends less time dreamin', and more time goin' at it 🤍
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drdemonprince · 1 year
Note
How do you tell if someone is interested in you? In the past I've had a hard time telling if someone has been romantically interested in me, and it's only been in retrospect or when talking to mutuals or hearing it from the person that I've learned that they were interested in me, and perceived my reactions as disinterest. I've also occasionally interpreted behaviors as signs of interest incorrectly which has led to awkward situations and even loss of friendships.
Especially when it comes to friends, I just want to know how to ask if someone is interested in me or express interest in them without destroying the friendship. Obviously a hard situation so don't expect a magic solution but would be curious if you have advice!
There is no foolproof way to know if a person is attracted to you, which is why we have the power of overt communication.
Just check in with your own desires first, and then communicate about it! Are you interested in the person? That is reason enough to consider expressing your feelings, but doubly so if you have received some signals that suggest they like you. It's much better to clear the air than to spend months or years trying to decode messages and working yourself up into a lather over all the intrigue.
You can ask the person if they are interested in you, or you can ask them if they meant any particular gesture in a flirtatious way. I've had friends ask me that before, and even when the answer was no, we were fine! It's a cishet allistic nonsense myth that communicating openly about desire will "ruin" a friendship. What ruins a friendship is a tangled web of unspoken projections and longings forming beneath the surface for years without anybody feeling free to name what is happening.
Sitcoms be damned, you can literally just ask a person "is this a date" or "I've noticed you've been touching me on the arm a lot lately, are you flirting with me?" or "We have a really strong friendship chemistry, have you ever wanted something more?" or "I love our friendship and I'm so very happy with it, but I'd also like to pursue dating you, if you were into it." or the like. These are all perfectly fine things to say to a person, things that I've heard and responded to before or known friends to have said.
I have had many friends that I was attracted to, or who were attracted to me -- and none of us died from not getting to fuck one another, nor did any of us go crazy from unrequited desire. I've never felt creeped out by a friend being into me, and when they have brought this attraction up, I was relieved to be able to convey to them when I wasn't available or interested myself. Open communication meant they could stop wondering about it and I could stop worrying that I was somehow accidentally giving romantic signals off. I tend to be expressive and attentive to people I care about, and I don't want to have to reign that in or become artificially cold for fear of seeming flirtatious. It's better to just talk about.
And when i've had a burning desire for a friend who wasn't into me, all I've had to do is make sure I behave respectfully to them and don't expect anything out of the friendship and then made sure to keep my masturbating about the person a good distance away from the real human being themselves so they didn't have to ever think about it or know that it was happening. sometimes I've sustained close friendships for years while being really into a person who just wasn't into me, and I was able to separate the reality of them from my fantasies. More often than not, the attraction has ebbed and taken on far less urgency once it's no longer an open question and it's clear to me that it's not worth pursuing.
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