#of the things you expect to have in common with your social teacher. this is not usually one of them.

[shadowsandstarlight]

Today I discovered that my social studies teacher listens to Welcome to Night Vale, and I am still in a bit of shock.

[bloompompom]

Safekeeping

Your brother's best friend learns you don't want to leave for college a virgin, and he thinks he might be able to lend you a hand.

✧ content: ~9.2k word count. 20 y/o eren jaeger x 18 y/o female reader. shameless porn without plot, older brother's friend trope, inexperienced reader/virginity loss, praise, spit, corruption themes, dry humping, guided masturbation, oral sex (f!receiving), protected PIV sex, reader's brother has a name, pet name ('baby'), passing mentions of alcohol/marijuana, explicit sexual content, explicit language, reader discretion advised. 18+ only. ✧ a/n: virginity is a social construct but this is smut so i’m gonna play into it. enjoy ♡ ✧ part two

You planned to move away to college at the end of the summer, finally. Your school of choice was a three-hour drive from home. To you, it was the perfect distance. Just far enough to give you some much-needed space, but still within reason for a weekend visit if needed. You wouldn’t know anyone there, but that was what you were looking forward to the most, actually. It would be a fresh start.

You never did get the ‘fresh start’ that everyone talked about. You know, the new beginnings that came with every school year. You always tried to be optimistic about it but each time, without fail, your teachers scowled when they saw your last name on their rosters. They all knew your older brother Collin—very well, unfortunately.

His reputation preceded you as a punk who was sent to the principal’s office for acting out in class time and time again. Out of the classroom, too—in the hallways, on the football field after hours. Even in the parking lot when he got into a fender bender with his English teacher his senior year. You were cursed with the same teacher last semester and learned the hard way that she had a habit of holding grudges. 

But that was beside the point. What you were trying to say was: you were ready for college. More than ready. Giddy and practically vibrating with excitement, marking the days off on your calendar until move-in week. Until you could finally quit your lousy summer job at the ice cream shop, waiting on old folk that never knew what they wanted and didn’t bother tipping. 

Still, there was just one teensy little thing you were hoping to get out of the way before freshman year. But now that it was only a few weeks away—twenty-three days, but who’s counting?—it was starting to feel more like a pipe dream.

At the end of the day, there was no point throwing a tizzy over going to college a virgin. Surely, you wouldn’t be the only one.

Right?

Your parents had left for their annual end-of-summer trip down to the beach to visit your grandparents for a week. It used to be a family event, but now that you and Collin were deemed old enough, you had more say in whether you tagged along or not. 

Collin had skipped out the last two summers, but this was the first year you were allowed to stay home, too, now that you were eighteen. But what you didn’t expect was that his three best friends would be there with the two of you—for the better half of the week, at that. Apparently, since they had done it the last two years, it had become a tradition, as they put it. Honestly, you were just impressed Collin was able to pull it off without your parents catching on, considering he was never one to clean the house when you were kids. 

No matter, though; it didn’t bother you much. They had been your brother’s friends since they were in the eighth grade. Having them around was nothing new to you. Of course, it was more fun when you were younger—back when you could play Mario Party together and force Collin to sit out. Now, there wasn’t nearly as much in common besides the occasional tormenting of your brother. 

So, the four of them did their thing, and you did yours.

But therein lies the problem. Even while you minded your business, someone just couldn’t seem to mind theirs. He couldn��t prevent his thoughts from wandering back to you—couldn’t prevent his eyes from lingering longer than they should.

It wasn’t Armin. He would never dare to look at you that way, the girl he tutored in algebra. Nor was it Jean, hopelessly consumed with texting his classmate, still determined as ever to win her over.

No, it was Eren. 'The cute one,’ as coined by you and your friends once he hit his growth spurt and grew out his hair. Though Eren was unaware of the epithet, this would be the year he’d unknowingly return the sentiment, thinking of you as Collin's very cute sister.

Eren was gone last summer, away at an internship, so it had been a couple of years since he’d last seen you. And you appeared to have—ahem—really grown into yourself, to put it delicately. 

Listen, it was harmless. It wasn’t like Eren planned on feeling this way toward you. He didn’t think twice about it when Collin said you’d be at his place, too. And there was no way in hell he’d act on it. He wouldn’t even dare to let the thoughts hang around in his mind, consistently shoving them aside before they could permeate. You were Collin’s—his best friend’s—sister. More than that, you were his little sister! 

He thought he was being discreet about it, but man, did you have to make it so tough? Did you really need to lay out by your parents’ pool every single day? Jeez. As a matter of fact, when was the last time it rained? This had to be the longest they’d been without it, now that Eren was thinking about it.

Back to the point here: Eren was, in fact, not remotely discreet. Armin brought it to his attention as they went to grab another beer. You happened to pop into the kitchen at the same time, just to grab a snack, and damn it, why did you have next to nothing on? Like, yeah, the place was a little warm tonight, and it was your house and all, but seriously—tiny shorts rolled high on your waist and a tank top that looked extra clingy as you reached for a cup on the top shelf? Really?

“You can’t be serious,” Armin grumbled to Eren. Once you were gone, obviously. 

Eren should have known what Armin was referencing, but he was dumb to it, wholly convinced he had been treading carefully. “What do you—”

“You can’t bang Collin’s sister!”

Who even says ‘bang’ anymore?

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a second.” Eren innocently held his palms up, waving them as if he could shake off the wicked accusation. “That’s a little far now, isn’t it?”

Armin was getting ahead of himself again; even Eren hadn’t let his mind wander past that boundary… yet. 

Armin gave him a look, like he knew better than to take Eren’s word at face value. “Well, it sure looks like you’re trying to bang his sister.”

“Who’s trying to bang who’s sister?”

Both Eren and Armin jumped at the voice, heads spinning like they were on a swivel to find Collin. He emerged from the basement, Jean trailing behind with a suspicious, low-browed expression.  

“Oh,” Eren stammered. He had to come up with something fast because he wasn’t about to leave it to Armin, the notoriously awful liar. “Armin was just telling me about some porn he watched the other night.” Eren shrugged. “You know, where the guy tries to bang someone’s sister.”

Armin glared at Eren for throwing him under the bus but reluctantly went along with the lie. “Yeah, and then he, uh… bangs the sister?”

Idiot, Eren couldn’t help but think. Whatever, it seemed to work well enough. Collin stared back at them like they were no better than a couple of horny morons. Jean dismissed it, too. Or at least, it didn’t bother him enough to let it interfere with him going for another beer.

With the crisis only half-averted, the four returned to the basement with freshly-cracked cans of beer in tow, where they would spend the rest of the night playing video games until they eventually passed out.

Well, at least three of them did. 

Eren couldn’t sleep, but that wasn’t anything new. He battled with insomnia from time to time. Tossing and turning on a wobbly air mattress didn’t make it any easier to fall asleep, and with the basement only marginally cooler than the rest of the house, he thought he might as well get a glass of water. 

Unluckily (luckily?) for him, he was interrupted before he could do just that. The sight of you, simply existing, lounged up on the couch, startled him. 

Someone’s jumpy tonight. You giggled when he cursed. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

“What are you doing here?” Eren asked.

You lightheartedly taunted, “Last time I checked, I live here, don’t I?”

He made a face at you, lacking the amusement your voice carried. “You know what I meant. Why are you still awake?”

It was the first time Eren had bumped into you. Not the first time ever, obviously; you had been alone together on countless occasions. But this was different, never this late at night before, and it was the only time it’d been just the two of you since he’d thought about you like that. 

“Do I need a reason?” you airly replied, almost on a yawn as you stretched. “It’s summer break, and I don’t have work tomorrow.”

He didn’t offer more than a nod of acknowledgment before moseying across the room, his hands shoved into his pockets. Unsure of where this was going, you reached for the remote and paused your show.

“What are you guys doing down there?”

“They’re all asleep,” Eren answered. He stood idly in the middle of the room because, like you, he was curious as to where this was heading.

“And you’re not asleep because…?”

No, he couldn’t think like that. This was going nowhere. 

“I came to grab some water,” he hurried to say—or at least, you thought it sounded hurried—and disappeared into the kitchen right after. 

You listened for a moment, fingers dancing on the button of the remote as you debated starting your show again. But when the faucet flicked off, he didn’t return to the basement in the apparent rush he was in. Instead, he stayed there, with you. 

Eren sipped his water, thinking of what to say next. It was an uphill battle because there wasn’t anything to say. There was no reason he needed to start a conversation with you. And yet, there he was, leaned up against the wall, dumbly scratching at his midriff as he racked—

Wait. Were you checking him out?

If there was one thing Eren had learned at college—let’s be real here, he had a nasty habit of skipping class—it was that he did pretty well for himself when it came to girls. Decent enough, he’d say. He at least had enough sense to know when a chick was interested in him. And now that you had creaked that door open, ogled at where his hand had lifted his shirt to reveal his stomach, he didn’t really have another choice but to step inside and explore around. Just a bit. 

Armin’s warning blared in the back of Eren’s head. As luck would have it, his conscience tended to have Armin’s voice. But there wasn’t anything wrong with casual conversation, was there? After all, he had known you for years. 

“So, are you excited to leave for college soon?”

Nope. There was no turning back now. 

You perked up in your seat. “Yeah, for sure. It’ll be nice to go somewhere new. Meet new people, make new friends—”

“Maybe you’ll finally find your Fabio.”

There was a joke there, unfortunately. One you hadn’t heard in so long that you cringed at the memory.

As Collin’s sister, his friends were first-hand witnesses to your boy crazy phase, all your dating flops. Perhaps they had even learned you were quite the hopeless romantic. And by that, you meant Jean had found a smutty novel you had stolen from your mom—yes, it even had the signature Fabio-esque cover, hence the joke. Anyway, he read it aloud in front of your brother and the rest of their friends until Armin snatched the book from him, which somehow made the whole ordeal even worse. 

“Yeah, we’ll see about that,” you offhandedly chuckled. “I was sort of hoping that would happen before college, but you know—I’m sure plenty of people go to college inexperienced.”

Your voice trailed off there at the end, almost like the notion really bothered you. Eren scrutinized it, this thing you handed him. It was a conversational game of hot potato—something you had shoved his way and forced him to hold onto. Why were you bringing this up? Were you looking for his advice?

Eren set down his glass and moved to sit by you on the couch. The far side of it. “Is that what you’re worried about?”

“No,” you blurted out, embarrassed and kicking yourself for having said anything in the first place. But your abruptness sounded just as bad, so with a sigh, you said, “I mean, I guess. I don’t want people to think I’m a loser for being a virgin.”

Again, why were you mentioning this to him? Eren felt like he was playing with fire. He knew he was going to wind up burnt the longer he stayed, maybe even scorching everything around him, even you, in the process. 

Still, he poked it, added some kindling because he was unwilling to let it die out. “I think there’s a fairly simple solution to that.”

“What, getting laid? I think I know that,” you scoffed. “And it’s easy for you to say that, looking like—” You loosely waved your hand over the length of him. “You. Believe it or not, I don’t exactly have suitors lining up outside my door.”

Okay, so he was picking up on something here. He wasn’t crazy. You said it then: you found him attractive. And he found you attractive. Extremely so, if that wasn’t obvious already. The answer was easy enough; he might as well go on say it outright then.

“What if I did it?” Eren suggested.

You didn’t know what he meant by it, his casualness throwing you for a loop. Surely, he couldn’t be talking about that. 

“You know, took your virginity.”

Oh. There was no mistaking it now. He was, without a doubt, talking about that. 

And why were you considering it?

Your brother’s friends, Eren included, had taught you all sorts of things before, things they probably shouldn’t have. They told you to flush the toilet to mask your squeaky front door if you planned on sneaking out. Taught you how to roll a joint, and how to take a proper hit after you confessed you had never ‘felt high’ when you smoked. So, would this be any different?

While you mulled it over, Eren took the far-away look behind your eyes as a horrible sign. He realized how insane the proposition sounded once he spoke it into existence. Before he could take it back, play it off as a joke—he had one too many beers, that’s all—you piped up.

“Really?”

He certainly didn’t expect that, stammering, “I—yeah. Why not?”

Another lengthy pause passed before you accused, “Are you just fucking with me?”

“No, no! I wouldn’t.” He started rambling then, a jumbled mix of ‘I just—’ and ‘I shouldn’t have—’ until you decidedly cut him off.

“Okay.”

“Huh?”

“I said okay. You can… take my virginity.” It felt like a strange way to say it, too formal. And to say it to Eren of all people, who would have guessed it?

Then again, maybe this was the most logical outcome. It wasn’t like you needed to make a big deal of losing your virginity. You weren’t looking for something romantic, with rose petals or a waterbed or any of that corny-porny crap. You were just looking to get it out of the way. That way, when you inevitably meet the love of your life in college (okay, so maybe you were a hopeless romantic), you wouldn’t embarrass yourself the first time you hooked up. 

“Okay,” Eren replied on his inhale, a breath sucked through his teeth, like it was a sin to say aloud. 

He scooted closer, sitting on the cushion that once separated you. You expected him to kiss you, even leaning into him with closed eyes, but your lips barely brushed into his. He didn’t come any closer than that.

Lowly, he asked you, “Do you trust me?”

You nodded. Your noses bumped.

“I need to hear it.”

“I trust you,” you said, even quieter than him. You could barely hear it over the sound of your heart, thumping so hard you swore it might burst into your throat.

Eren kissed you then, tentatively, with his hand cradling the side of your face. He didn’t move until you did, and when you returned the kiss, he followed while letting you take lead.

It didn’t last long, though. You jumped away from each other, back to the opposite sides of the couch, when the basement door squeaked open. The panic subsided when you caught the bright eyes of your family’s cat, her little head poking out from the shadows.

You held a hand to your chest, steadying your breath and trying to settle your rapid heartbeat, as if both were possible. When you met Eren’s gaze, he was already staring at you with a brittle sort of look. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Did he regret what he had done with you? You didn’t, and you prayed he didn’t either.

Before you had the chance to ask, he finally said, “Should we go to your room?”

“Good idea.”

He knew where your room was, but still, he followed right behind you anyway. At the top of the staircase, just before your bedroom door, you split. You turned to see Eren sneaking into Collin’s room. A minute passed while you listened to his rustling, but when he returned, held between his two fingers was that infamous, shiny foil.

You frowned, hard. “I’m not going to use one of my brother’s condoms.”

“Do you have one then?” Eren asked, already well aware of your answer.

“Fine.” 

Eren had never been in your bedroom before. It felt foreign, and weirdly wrong, to have him in there. He looked out of place for it, too big, too mature, especially as you looked at all your girlish knick-knacks and old photos. You wished you could tuck everything away into some lonely drawer. 

You avoided Eren’s eyes and fixed your attention on adjusting the lights. Your bright ceiling light was far too unforgiving for this, so you switched it out for your bedside lamp. The drone of the old bulb buzzed in the back of your ears, its light a fizzy yellow.

You were nervous. Eren didn’t need to see your face to know it was written all across it. Not that it surprised him, considering this was about to be your first time having sex, and it would be with him. 

He felt his heart drop into his stomach, the sick feeling you get on a rollercoaster, but somehow you want to ride again. Maybe he was just as nervous as you. You had put your trust in him, enough to take your virginity. Handing it to him as if it were some sentimental treasure he could watch over, for safekeeping. 

Sure, he knew the optics were bad. Not just bad but horrendous, actually. He was about to sleep with his best friend’s younger sister, a recently eighteen-year-old virgin. The whole situation sounded no better than a second-rate porno—like the one he had made up with Armin in the kitchen, ha!

This was as much a blessing straight from heaven as it was a curse. But he couldn’t care about the optics now, not with you taking a seat on the bed, looking over at him with these come-and-get-me eyes that may or may not have been intentional. 

No, this wasn’t a curse at all. If it were so wrong of him, then why was it that he already felt his cock straining against his sweats at the mere thought? The thought of how delicate he’d be with you. He needed to be, for the last thing he wanted was to ruin your first time. He’d be the first to show you what pleasure could be with another person—what you were deserving of before going off and letting other boys touch you.

He set the condom on the nightstand and joined you at the edge of your bed, his knee barely grazing yours. He was about to ask if he could kiss you again, but you entirely side-skipped any conversation by picking up right where the two of you had left off. 

Again, Eren relinquished control to you, but he did take the initiative to swipe his tongue into your mouth. You tasted him, the bittersweet flavor of light beer. He was nothing like the last boy you kissed. He didn’t ram his tongue down your throat but kissed you as though he wanted to taste you, to muse over and memorize you. And you let him, lips languidly caressing one another with little point or purpose, solely running on instinct. 

You balled his shirt in your fist, twisted the fabric of it between your hands to have him close—closer. He hoisted you onto his lap with his hands at your waist, and you went along with him more than willing. You draped your hands over his shoulders, crossing them at the wrist, and didn’t let your lips break from his once. 

He smoothed his palms up and down the small of your back until he eventually ventured lower. He gripped at your ass, pulling you down to grind over him. Just once, so you could feel him, how achingly hard he was for you. Then, you did it again all on your own. Lightheaded and teeming with desire, the pressure against your clit, even through your layers of clothing, was an addicting relief. You moved against him, again and again, until you were dragging yourself over him, practically about get off from that alone. 

But Eren didn’t let that happen. Before you get there, Eren used his hold on your hips to stall you. His voice was a mumble against your mouth as he asked you, “How far have you gone?”

“This,” you professed. “This is the farthest I’ve gone.”

Fuck.

“Okay.” It was the word of the night. Eren breathed it out like he was talking to himself. The type of sigh you’d give yourself in the mirror when trying to calm down, which was precisely his goal.

He lifted you with little effort, had you lie back into the pillows before he crawled on top of you. He kissed at your jawline, then placed another on the side of your neck. He left a few of them there. It was all lip, all wispy, like he could break you. Still, you felt each of them like a spark at the base of your spine. 

His fingers trailed lower, tickling over your collarbone but stopping short of the neckline of your tank top. 

“Is it all right if I touch you here?” he asked, punctuating it by running a hand down your breast, over your shirt.

“Yes,” you whispered with a shudder. 

With the confirmation, he massaged lightly, his thumb caressing over your perked nipple. 

He kissed you again, his tongue meeting yours while he rolled your nipple between his fingers. Your back arched instinctively, wanting more—needing more. He listened to your body, learning as he went, and tugged down your tank top. With nothing between you, he lightly pinched at your nipple, pulling a whine from you, one that didn’t get the chance to meet the air.

Eren kissed the side of your face. “Can I kiss you there?” he muttered, referencing your tits as he gave another squeeze. He pressed another kiss, lower, against your throat.

“Mhm,” was all you managed with a voice that was long gone, lost somewhere in the opened-mouth kisses he left along the dip between your chest. 

It tickled a bit when he flicked over your nipple with his tongue—even more when he latched onto it with his mouth. You were wiggly beneath him, driving him wild, and you didn’t even know it. It was sweet how sensitive you were, his mouth being the first to kiss you there, to learn the taste of your skin. So soft. And warm, too, heating up the longer he sucked at your tits, anywhere he pleased.

Eren kept his hand at your waist, palming over your stomach but never risking any lower than that. His touch was heated, urgent, yet he only showed restraint. 

He pulled back from you, letting his face hover inches above yours when he asked, “Have you ever touched yourself before?”

He was strangely calm for asking such a personal question, setting your face ablaze. Too rushed, you replied, “Of course I have.”

What did he think? That because you were a virgin, you hadn’t thought about sex before? Hadn’t ever watched porn? Yes, you hadn’t actually done it, but it wasn’t as though you were heading into the situation blind.

“Then—” You, the sight of you wriggling out of your sleep shorts, interrupted him. You caught the bob of his throat when he swallowed, but you weren’t sure he was trying that hard to hide it. “Show me how you do it.”

Eren sat back on his knees, just shy of sitting between your legs as you rested against the pillows. The only thing separating him from you was a thin pair of panties. You hoped he didn’t notice your jittery fingers as you slipped them beneath the band.

You started, “This is—”

“It’s not embarrassing,” he interrupted. It only made you more anxious, like he could read your mind or something. But he was genuine as he said it, assuring you even while struggling to maintain eye contact, his attention flitting from your face to between your legs. “Show me how I can make you come.”

How could he possibly be so open about this? There wasn’t even a shred of hesitation or shame in his voice. You wondered how many people he’d been with—how many times he’d rehearsed before he could speak with such confidence? Enough confidence to have you listening loyally and plunging your hand beneath your underwear. 

You pressed the pads of your fingers against your clit and started to rub. Slowly at first, but already, just that smidgen of relief was enough to pull a flimsy sound from you. You were sensitive, throbbing, and so incredibly turned on that you didn’t hide even as he unabashedly stared at you with pure infatuation. 

Eren rested a hand on your leg, sliding higher and reaching for your panties. “Can I take these off?”

You stopped only to help him work them down your leg, shimmying until he had them thrown to the foot of the bed. You were hesitant to spread your legs again, but he did it for you, placing one at each of his sides. He took your hand and returned it between your thighs, eager for you to continue. So you did just that. 

There wasn’t any doubt he could see everything now—how wet you were, how it coated your fingers the longer you rubbed, the tighter your little circles became. But you were too wrapped up in it to care, playing with yourself just as indecently as you would if you were alone. You couldn’t even be bothered to stifle the chant of gasps spilling from you.

“Can you put a finger inside for me?” Eren requested.

You nodded and pushed one inside, felt how you pulsed around it. You moved it in and out, the same way you had done many times before. 

“Yeah, like that,” he murmured. You heard the ‘fuck’ he cursed under his breath. “How’s that feel?”

“Good,” you whispered, eyes fluttering shut.

“Try a little faster.”

You did just that and bit back a whimper.

“Add another.”

He needed you stretched. He needed you ready for him. 

You took your second finger well; you had done that before, too.

“You’re doing so good,” he told you. He leaned into you, closing in. “Can I help you now?”

“Please,” you breathed. You slipped your fingers from you, giving Eren access to do with you as he wished.

But he didn’t reach for you. Not there, at least. He held his fingers before your mouth.

“Open up.”

You weren’t sure what he was after, but you obeyed, lusty enough that you found you were trusting him implicitly. He placed his middle and index fingers against your tongue, telling you, “Get them nice and wet for me.”

You sucked on them lightly. Saliva pooled on the back of your tongue as he pressed down. He pulled them from your mouth with a lewd sound and smiled at you. It made your chest swell a bit.

Eren returned to your side. His presence was engulfing as he wrapped an arm around you, holding you close. It surprised you, the intimacy of it, but you didn’t have any time for second-guessing before he urged, “Keep going.”

You returned to circling your clit as his hand met yours. He traced his pointer finger through you, and every muscle in your body tensed.

“Can I?”

“Yes,” you said, practically a moan.

He slipped it inside you, taking his time with it. His finger was much larger than your own, thicker, reaching deeper than yours had ever gone. Your stomach tightened at the intrusion, trying to adjust. 

“That okay?” he asked.

“Yes.” It was better than okay. “More. Please.”

Eren chuckled warmly. He pumped his finger in and out of you, curving it just right to have you squirming in his arms. You were beginning to understand why he was holding you now. He wanted to keep you still so that, once he figured out what you liked, he could maintain his pace through your needy bucking. 

He had a hand on your head, petting over you as he asked, “You close?” You couldn’t respond because he added a second finger. A hiss left you, but it melted into a satisfied whine. “Yeah?”

“Y-yeah,” you whispered against him, his body dizzyingly hot even through his T-shirt. 

It was becoming quite the task to keep your fingers moving, what with Eren’s fingers hitting a spot that you didn’t even know existed, over and over again. It had you—fuck—it had you coming. So hard that you thoughtlessly rode his hand, eyes screwing shut as you fucked yourself deeper on his fingers, prolonging the bliss however you could until you turned to goo in his arms. 

You were panting against his chest, your body still twitchy, when he started to ask, “Did you—”

“Yes,” you said on a drawn-out exhale. 

He pecked your forehead. You still felt the stamp of it as he moved to get back on top. He held himself above you with hands planted on either side of you, kissing you full on the mouth. Still hazy, you didn’t move much, letting him make out with you all he wanted until his lips traveled down to the dip behind your ear, then the delicate crook of your neck.

He bunched your tank higher up your chest until you both tore it over your head. With it out of his way, Eren continued kissing lower—even lower than before. His breath tickled over your nipples, leaving you a needy, rutting mess—for what exactly, you didn’t know, just more.

“Too much?” Eren asked, looking up at you with his big, green eyes.

“No,” you assured, your mouth agape and in awe of him. “I like it.”

He pressed his smile against your skin, kissing and licking his way down your sternum.

When he reached your navel, you asked, “What are you—”

“Making sure you’re ready.” He kissed your hipbone.

“It’s really okay,” you said, slightly wary. “We should just get this over with, right?”

“What if I don’t want to get this over with?” Eren kissed just above your slit. “What if I want to take my time?”

Eren wanted you as comfortable—as relaxed—as possible. And since he was already about to fuck his friend’s younger sister, with one of his condoms nonetheless, he certainly wasn’t going to dig around for his friend’s lube next. Luckily, there was another, more fun, way that he could ensure you were properly lubricated so as to avoid any pain that may arise from him splitting you on his—

Focus. 

“I need you to tell me what feels good and what doesn’t,” Eren said, a reminder more to himself than for you. 

You gasped, almost choked, when he kissed the top of your thigh, then the inner part of it. 

“Can you do that for me?”

“Eren, I—” 

“Please.” He licked a broad stripe up the crease of your thigh. That alone had your head thrown back against your pillow, a tiny ‘oh’ escaping you. “Let me. I want to.”

“You do?” you timidly asked.

“So badly,” he replied, but it sounded more like an admission. A white flag of surrender, like he was letting himself fully give in to his desires because, yes, he had thought about this before. There was no use in lying about it now. 

“O-okay.”

On that, he returned to teasing his way between your legs, kissing from the delicate flesh of your inner thighs to—

“Wait!” you interjected. Eren immediately looked to you like he had done something wrong, but you quelled his worry with, “Can you get undressed, too? Like, at least your shirt.”

Your request didn’t sound nearly as self-assured as his, but he listened to you nonetheless. He sat back to peel off his shirt. He smiled at you softly. “Better?”

You scanned over his toned torso, sun-kissed and tanned from summer. Definitely better. “Thanks.”

He leaned over you, his mouth inches from your pussy as he murmured, “It’ll feel good.” Then he kissed your entrance, and the sensation of it jolted through your body like lightning. “Promise.” 

Eren parted you with his fingers before licking through you, letting the newfound feeling sink in deep. His tongue was warm, wet, and exceedingly gentle—nothing like his fingers or even your own. You couldn’t begin to describe it, but that might be because, after a second lap of his tongue, you were already losing any and all coherency. 

You made a few strained sounds, flowery and pathetic, but supported yourself on trembling elbows to watch. When you met Eren’s eyes, he only stopped licking at you to say, “Tell me what feels good.”

“Everything.” The word tumbled out of your mouth desperately. “Everything feels good.”

You felt his laugh just before he closed his mouth back over you. He continued having his way with you, sucking and licking at you, saliva and slick making a mess of his pretty face as he staggered kisses between his laps. Whenever his lips brushed against your clit, your legs would flex tight. He hooked his arms around them, laying them over his strong shoulders. You felt the way his fingers dug into the fat of your thighs, locking them in place while he circled his lips around your clit with more pressure than before.

“Ah—oh,” you moaned, your back leaving the bed to press your pussy further into his face, as if you could have him any closer—you know, until you’d have him inside you. But that would come soon enough.

Eren didn’t ask this time; he knew exactly how he was making you feel. And you were thankful for it because you couldn’t dream of him stopping. You needed more, lacing a hand through his locks and pulling lightly, encouraging him. He groaned against you, clearly liking it, so you did it again.

He was sloppy with it while still… thoughtful? That didn’t feel like the correct word for it, but even as he made out with the most intimate part of you, he did it with intention, doing that thing again, whatever it was, with his tongue pointed, because he had quickly learned you liked it. No, he showed you that you liked it. Loved it, actually; it was excruciatingly evident by the breathless sounds you made. 

And when Eren paired his tongue with his sucking lips, swirling it against your clit, you came with your own hand clamped over your mouth. Your entire body gained a pulse of its own. It was much stronger than your first orgasm and longer-lasting, too. The muscles of your stomach wound and released while you rode out your high, Eren groaning against you just as pleasedly. 

Only once you were no longer propped on your elbows but flopped against the bed did Eren let up. Your thighs were still trembling as he kissed a pathway back to your side. You both sat with heaving chests, though yours much heavier than his, and you were beginning to question how you were supposed to go for another round. You hadn’t even reached the—for lack of a better word—main event yet. Truthfully, you expected Eren to throw you to your bed, pop your metaphorical cherry, and be done with it. But now you had already orgasmed twice and he still had his sweatpants on. 

You should probably do something about that, shouldn’t you?

“I wanna touch you, too.”

While innocent, it was the most you had communicated with him this far, so he didn’t stop you when you reached for him. He was more than ready for it. 

You explored him a bit, tracing over his length and discovering what touches made him twitch beneath your touch, still as chaste as ever. 

“Show me,” you purred.

It wasn’t that you didn’t know what to do—a hand job was far from rocket science. It was more like if you had to show him yours, then you wanted to see his. You wanted to watch. 

Eren tugged his sweatpants and boxers down his legs. His cock sprung out, nearly slapping against the low part of his abs. Already, his tip was wetted, needy for anything after going untouched this long, even if it was his own hand. 

He wrapped his fingers around his shaft, working his fist over his cock, faster, until he was jerking himself off for you. His breath, fanning just above your head, went from steady to ragged, his chest tight.

You watched him for a moment, already needing to touch him. You pushed yourself upright, perched so that your knees brushed against his thigh, ready to take him with both hands. 

“Hold on.”

You glanced at him. He fidgeted, like he was about to say something but retracted it immediately. He sounded hesitant, looked even more hesitant, when he asked, “Can you—can you spit in your hand first?”

“Oh, um.” You looked at your open palm and tried your best to collect some saliva in your mouth. It was a little daunting, knowing he was watching as you did it, but he didn’t seem to mind. 

No, he definitely didn’t mind. Not in the slightest. But he wouldn’t admit that to you right now. 

You took him in your hand, mimicking how he did it, with a loose wrist and your grasp slightly firm. When you squeezed over his tip, you heard the sharp inhale it pulled from him, noted how his pelvis flexed. Eren’s hand closed over yours. He was going to show you exactly how he liked it. 

Eren moved your hand for you, gripping it whenever you reached the head of his cock. His pinched breaths turned into groans, his brows hanging low over his keen eyes. That was when he started thrusting, fucking your hand, and nearly forgot where he was—forgot whose hand he was using like his own personal toy.

“Spit on it,” he grunted, that temperate side of him growing unrestrained. 

He didn’t mean to come off so crass, not in front of you, not this soon. It was just that Eren couldn’t remember the last time he came from a handjob, but he was nearly there, with your hands so dainty and velvety around him. Not to mention the spit dribbling from your pretty lips before you spread it down his cock—he was about to lose his last smidgen of composure. 

Thankfully, he remembered the reason why he was here. He had a much bigger agenda than fucking your hand. How could he have forgotten already that he was here for you?

“That’s—ah, shit.” Selfishly, Eren waited for another second before releasing your hand. You continued stroking him eagerly, and it felt wrong to stop you, but he did just that with his hand around your forearm. “You’re gonna make me come if you keep going.”

“Sorry,” you said, your hands now politely to yourself and folded on your lap.

With a short, huffing laugh, he told you, “You do not have to apologize for that. Believe me.”

His chuckle had you smiling again. That closed-mouth, coy smile that he was quickly learning might become the death of him. He straightened out, taking your chin between his fingers to kiss you again.

“Lay back for me,” he whispered. 

You fell into the mess of pillows and tangled sheets, making yourself comfortable while Eren fetched the condom. You didn’t know what the feeling was—trepidation, anticipation, excitement, perhaps all three—but it bubbled in your stomach as you watched him rip the wrapper before rolling on the latex.

He pumped himself a few times as he reminded, “We can stop at any time if you need.”

Eyes wide and fixed onto him—specifically on his cock, which he’d soon gape you on—you asked, “Do we need a safe word?”

He laughed again, through his nose like earlier, but only because you were so agonizingly cute about it. “I think ‘stop’ will work just fine.”

You did that smile again, winding the knot in his stomach more than he even thought possible. Eren was so close to snapping—not like that! Not hurting you, never. More like coming undone, turning into a puddle of himself, finishing humiliatingly early—that sort of snapping. He didn’t know what had him feeling this way, but something about you made him feel like the virgin here. 

He didn’t dare push inside yet, not only for your sake but for his. His eyes, now brazen and alert, scanned over you, staring you straight in the face like a silent check-in. And when you gave him the go-ahead, nothing more than a bobble of your head, slowly, he tilted his hips into yours. 

With you unbelievably tight around him, he stilled with only his tip inside you. Even so, his breath had already hitched in his throat. He couldn’t hold back, he simply couldn’t. And when he gave you a little more, between his eyes flittering shut, he caught the scrunch of your nose. 

There was a stretch, a certain fullness. It didn’t necessarily hurt, but it didn’t exactly feel like he belonged in there, either. It was considerate of him to take his time with you, prep you with his fingers and tongue. But even so, with his cock only halfway inside, you had your nails dug deep into his biceps. 

“How’re you doing?” Eren asked. 

“I’m—” You glanced at where your bodies were connecting. There was still more of him to take. “Okay.”

It didn’t appear like he believed you, which was fair because it was a shaky statement at best. “It’s too much?”

“A little,” you sheepishly admitted. 

He pulled out of you, and even that made you wince. Your shoulders dropped back to the mattress, every muscle in your body easing up now that he wasn’t bullying inside you. 

"Here.” Eren rolled onto his back. He guided you on top of him, set you so your knees straddled his waist, his cock resting between your legs. Somehow, it looked even longer like that, laid upon his abs. “Let’s try it like this.”

Like this? It felt incredibly vulnerable from up here, where he could see you—in all your glory—bouncy above him. Plus, you hardly knew what you were doing; you had just given your first handjob! If you were being honest, you thought you’d just sort of lay there and take it from him, and now he was expecting you to ride him? It was intimidating, to say the least, even if Eren tried to assure you it wasn’t.

“You have total control this way.”

That was the exact thing you feared. You didn’t want any control. What if you did something wrong? 

Apparently, you didn’t do a great job at masking your worry because Eren immediately placed his hands on your hips, not taking them in his grasp but rubbing his thumbs encouragingly against your skin. 

The entire point of this was to trust him. That was why you were doing this—losing it to Eren, someone who wouldn’t make fun of you. That way, when it really mattered, you wouldn’t royally fuck up. And after getting this far, there was no chance in hell you would end the night a virgin. Well, half-virgin.

Ready to try again, you drew a deep breath, lifting yourself to your knees. Before you reached for him, like the new sexpert that you were, you spat in the palm of your hand, not minding Eren’s eyes this time. You stroked over the condom, mixing its lube with your saliva, then lined his cock up with you. 

Carefully, you sat down. He only reached as deep as before, but the pressure was nowhere near what it once was. You rolled your hips, testing different angles to see what worked best—how you could get more of him, all of him, inside you. 

Eren curved a hand around the nape of your neck, cooing, “Come here.”

He brought you in for a kiss—more than a kiss—his tongue immediately licking into your mouth the second your lips crashed into his, tasting every one of your contented, little hums.

He snaked a hand between your legs, lazily thumbing over your clit until your lips were unable to match his fervency. It was more like you were moaning against his mouth, right into it, sharing each of his breaths until your cheeks sweltered. He melted you from the inside out, softening you up like butter until you were flush against his pelvis—as easy as that. Cautiously, you started rocking your hips.

“That’s it,” Eren whispered into the corner of your mouth.

With quivering arms, you held yourself up with your palms pressed into his chest. Perched proudly atop him, the tip of his cock reached deeper, filling you deeper than anything else had before. It stole your breath, almost like you felt him in your throat.

Eren admired how your mouth fell into an adorable ‘o’ before you started moving. As though a switch had flipped, you were suddenly rolling your hips against him—slowly, of course—repeatedly having him hit that delicious spot again as you indulgently chased after your third orgasm.

“You’re doing so good, taking me well for—for your first time.”

Shit. Eren remembered he was taking your virginity. 

He inhaled sharply, hoping you wouldn’t notice how his voice gave way, or how his cock jolted inside you when he realized he was the first to have you like this. His cock was the first to fill you, stretch you, mold you to accommodate him. Only him. 

“Do what feels good for you, baby.”

The pet name slipped past him before he could wrangle it back, but you didn’t seem to catch it. Or, at least, you didn’t mind. 

No, you were too busy to hear him, more occupied with getting a feel for what you liked best. Eren let you use his cock freely because—what, was he supposed to stop you? Fuck no. He would let you continue forever if you desired it, so long as you’d continue gifting him with such lovely and lewd expressions—the sweet curl of your lip, the knit of your determined brows as your thighs had surely started to burn.

But, boy, it was quite the challenge, letting you have your way with him. You could only keep your pace for a moment or two before you’d take a break. Such a fucking tease, and you didn’t even know it. It was endearing how worn out you were from everything that came before this, and all Eren wanted was to dig his heels into your bed, pound away at that tight pussy of yours, and show you just how wonderful he could make you feel. 

It was a test of strength for him, whether he could hold back or not, because finally, you looked like you were enjoying yourself on his cock. You took him with short strokes, a simple tilt of your hips back and forth once you realized you could grind your clit into his pelvis.

He could tell you were close, from the way you fluttered around him to the gasps getting caught in your throat from the added, and absolutely euphoric, pressure. 

“Just like that. Keep going. Make yourself come for me.” 

The gravel in Eren’s voice pushed you closer to the edge. There was a growl to it, and you could feel it vibrate through you. You tossed your head back with a cry loud enough to wake a neighbor as you shoved a hand between your legs, desperate to come. 

Eren shushed you dotingly, but there was a grin on his face as he placed his sticky palm against your mouth. “Can’t let them hear us now, can we?”

He felt your heady breath as you panted, trying to reach your peak. When you couldn’t ride him any longer, your hips an erratic sputter, he beamed up at you, slack-jawed smile and all, and said, “Feel good? Need some help?”

Too overwhelmed, you couldn’t even nod your head. You babbled uselessly.

“Want me to fuck you, just a little? Get you coming on my cock?”

“Yes, please—oh, God, Eren.”

When he started to move, thrusting into you ever so slightly, you were already scratching your nails down his chest. It was no bother to him, though. He only wanted you to do it again.

When you came, you squeezed him so perfectly that he thought he might explode. It was taking his last bit of self-control to fuck you at such a steady and slow pace when, in reality, he only wanted to hammer into you. Eren felt like he was moments away from boiling over. His face was burning, and he could feel the sweat beading in his hairline from this aching, pent-up desire within him. After fingering you, going down on you—no, after days of fantasizing about you—he needed release.

Even you could see it—the unmistakable flush of his face now spreading to the base of his neck and spanning his chest. As blissed out as you were, limply collapsed on top of him, you mumbled against his skin, “Eren, I want you to come, too.”

And how could he turn that down? Now that you had come three times, he figured he could finally have his turn. 

“I’m gonna go a bit faster now. You tell me if that’s okay or not.”

Before he could even flinch, you assured him, “It’s okay. I want you to.”

The soft laziness of your voice, the dreaminess seeping through it like syrup—it was too much. 

Eren took you by the hips first, holding your body pliant for him to thrust into. He started with long drags of his cock, letting his tip kiss your entrance before stuffing himself back inside you. Each time he bottomed out, he bit back every vulgar curse he wanted to hiss into your ear. 

Then, he flattened his hands against your back, folding you into him with his palms seared into your shoulder blades. Your face was smothered in the crook of his neck as he fucked up into you. The bed began to squeak, like a mockery of your tiny bleats.

“You all right?” Eren asked, his voice hoarse.

You only made an affirmative sound that got muffled as you burrowed against him. With your chest warm, like a tingling between your lungs, and your head stuck somewhere in the clouds, you took him in a speechless, almost surreal, bliss. How fiercely he needed you, if only for a blip in time, was intoxicating.

And in that fleeting moment, the sin of it, the forbiddenness surrounding you, had vanished. Eren was sure it would rear itself again, that was for certain. He could predict the ripple of guilt that’d course through him once he inevitably faced what he’d done. But even if it meant betraying his best friend, he couldn’t find it within himself to regret it.

Especially when he realized how fucking good it felt to come inside you. With his arms locked around your waist, your entire body smushed against his, he snapped his hips into you, as if he could possibly fuck you any deeper. He emptied himself into the condom as a groan tore through his throat, the hum of it against the shell of your ear like a final shudder down your spine. 

He pulled out of you, faintly cursing as he did. You flopped at his side, entirely spent, and stared at the ceiling with fuzzy, unfocused vision. The rush of adrenaline was on a steep comedown, and you were already starting to feel it. Sore, but extremely satisfied. 

“You should probably go to the bathroom—to pee and stuff,” Eren said, that familiar, boyish side already returning in full force. 

Pee. Got it.

You only muttered a ‘yeah’ before you redressed and tip-toed off to the bathroom down the hallway. There, you wiped yourself clean, forced yourself to pee, and gave yourself a good long look in the mirror.

In just one night, you had hit every base. By definition, a home run, in your book—and with your brother’s ‘cute friend,’ at that. 

You were shocked to see Eren was still there when you returned to your bedroom. He had on his boxers and tee already, stepping into his sweatpants as you opened the door. He gave you a soft smile as you hopped into your bed. 

Then, even more surprisingly, he asked, “Do you want me to stay?”

Eren knew he should leave unless he hoped to get caught. Still, he thought it was the right thing to say.

You giggled, “I think my brother would kill you if he found you in here.”

He laughed along with you, but when it settled, he crawled beneath your sheets anyway.

Though you felt uncertain about it, he consoled it away with, “Don’t worry. I’ll just hang here until you fall asleep.” You at least deserved that.

He turned the light off and let you rest your head against his chest, your arm looped around his waist. You didn't know where the urge to cuddle came from, and neither did he, but he didn't question it. It was comfortable, even as he waited for that pang of guilt to hit.

But it never did. And once he heard your breathing taper to a peaceful drone, he slipped out of your bed and snuck back down to the basement. That stupid air mattress felt a whole lot more comfortable now.

Finally, Eren had scratched the itch he couldn't kick, just to get it out of his system. Now, there was absolutely no way he'd think of you again—not that kittenish little smile nor how you curled against him in your sleep—and definitely not while you were three hours away at school…

Right?

✧ continue to part two ✧

[astrolovecosmos]

Chart Ruler in the Houses:

Your chart ruler is the planet associated with your rising sign. e.g. Libra rising means your chart ruler is Venus, Sagittarius Rising means your chart ruler is Jupiter. The chart ruler can be similar to the rising in that it represents an aspect of your self-expression. It can also act like a guide or marker to areas of life that greatly impact you and motivate you. See below the chart ruler in each house:

~1st House~

Individuality is not only important to you and your life, but questions surrounding individuality, developing it - these are a big part of your life lessons, struggles, wins, and fulfillments. How you develop as a person, your self-expression, independence, and how you stand out acts as motivation. Early life may have been unique, intense, or hazy depending on the planet, but frequently revisiting it or taking inspiration from it is common for this placement. Having your chart ruler in the 1st House may indicate someone who has high expectations for themselves and their life or even "destiny". It is common for these individuals to be on either side of the scale with pessimism vs. optimism in their approach and view of their own life. A fear of being rejected, ignored, and possibly used or controlled may exist here. When the chart ruler is in the 1st House these people will always ask themselves who they are and/or may have a huge drive to always prove themselves or define themselves. They may face many challenges involving depth, intensity, intimacy vs. shallowness and detachment. Self-love and acceptance are their strength, their crown.

~2nd House~

The 2nd House is a house of the physical world but also our relationship to the physical world which many times can be highly intangible. The most straightforward way to understand this is through ideas around value and resource. The 2nd House is what we value from our favorite piece of clothing to our loved ones to our own self-worth. This is also the house of security, quality, spending, resources, energy that is taken or received, it is physical manifestations or materialism which can extend to ideas of the spirit having a body (6th House may be body and health, but the 2nd also has connections to the body and physiology, especially the throat, neck, voice). When the chart ruler is in this house challenges, lessons, and guidance may seem very practical with lessons about work, money, and possessions. Other times it can be hard to recognize or follow with lessons about restraint, boundaries, or defense. The chart ruler pulls on individuals to practice self-care and stability. People here may feel like their stability, safety, and maybe sanity are frequently questioned or being threatened. They learn early on how important options, skills, tools, money, space, being resourceful is. These people for many reasons may also constantly seek comfort and contentment. They want the peace that comes with more passive attitudes towards living like attraction, patience, routine, and indulgence or relaxation. The 2nd House is also about potential and when the chart ruler sits here motivation can come from self-belief. Endurance and determination are their crown.

~3rd House~

Self-expression, learning, communicating, connecting - all of these things are brought front and center with the chart ruler in the 3rd house. Motivation can be from a curious mind or possibly a bored mind, being highly involved or removed from a community, or social status or pressures. Learning from others is very important for this placement, even those who are shyer may crave this. Many of their internal conflicts or conflicts throughout life may involve some sort of lone wolf. vs social butterfly themes. Their main motivation may come from, their self-expression and personality shaped by, or possibly one of their guiding lights in life may be their siblings, extended family, students, or possibly a teacher in some form. These individuals are likely observant, mentally quick, possibly talkative or social, and likely adaptable. Even if someone with this placement has a lot of fixed sign influences, life will pull them through many situations that will demand flexibility or an open mind. There is a focus on how these people are in their attitude towards others in their most immediate environment and inner circle outside of highly intimate or hierarchical roles like a spouse or parent. Think friends, coworkers, siblings, their network, their community. The planet will have a lot to say about this, Venus for example indicates a very easygoing, nice, possibly loving attitude. Mars may mean competitive, aggressive, or passionate interactions and relationships. The Sun or Pluto can indicate power struggles. Saturn indicates a lot of responsibility, reputation, maybe burdens form being part of a community. This attitude or approach to their community will be extremely important to them. Knowledge and adaptability or an openness to learn are their crown.

~4th House~

This individual's motivation and personality may be heavily based around family somehow. They are prone to holding onto old feelings and grudges and this may be a major drive for them. The 4th House can represent our homelife, our private life, private selves, ancestry, cycles or patterns, intuition, and nurturing. Having a happy, safe, or stable home is a need for everyone but here their home life may impact their most basic self-expression constantly. A hurt or disturbed home life may be worn on their sleeve somehow. The 4th House can represent our parents both in a literal or metaphorical sense. I wouldn't be surprised if those with their chart ruler in this house find that they seek a parent type of relationship with others frequently OR has to parent themselves or others somehow. There may be a great drive to carry on a family's legacy or to start a new found family with this placement. Questions and insecurities may frequently revolve around one's place in their family, starting a family, or leaving one. This person may be good at hiding intentions, may be highly private or guarded, receptive, perceptive, and sensitive. Where they feel most at home can be determined by planet and sign but the chart ruler in the 4th indicates that there is a huge need to always "return" home or feel at home in the self, with others, and in a place. Getting in touch with one's past or heritage may be important to them throughout life. An understanding of the pasts' impact on the present and future is a major theme and lesson. Understanding and caring are strengths of theirs to cultivate. But...Loyalty, love, and trust of family is their crown.

~5th House~

A general love for life may be a major motivation for this placement. The 5th House is the house of recreation, love affairs, romance, drama, creativity, creation, pleasure, celebration, hobbies, self-expression, vibrancy. Expressing the self through what one creates whether that is art, a reputation, food, crafts, ideas, debatably children are all important to this house. The chart ruler in the 5th House may have a huge desire to leave a legacy or impression through what they make and share. There might also be a drive to indulge, experience, and love. This house has a positive reputation but the chart ruler here depending on sign, planet, aspect may indicate a struggle to enjoy life or express one's creativity. There may be a need to shine, fight, rebel, create a new path. A desire for adventure, admiration, romance, and leisure can exist in a way that is desperate or hard to satisfy. The 5th House has been interpreted as a place of self-discovery, carefreeness, play, or self-creation and in this sense, there is a huge push to be confident in oneself and to let your energy or vitality burn. The 5th House has also been interpreted as a place to look at how you learn and celebrate others and through them also learn about and celebrate the self. This can take a lot of giving and risk. Because of these aspects bravery and generosity is this chart ruler's crown.

~6th House~

This is the house of the everyday - habits, work, physical health, cleanliness, collaboration or teamwork, routine, service, help, support, practicality, skills, work ethic, pets, efficiency, uses. On paper this house can sound dull but similarly to the 2nd House the relationship of the tangible to the intangible can make interpretations or manifestations of this house sometimes hard to recognize. Work and health are two very common motivators for this placement. Other common motivators may be a desire to be useful, to heal others, to fix something, or possibly to be part of a team or cause. Depending on the influences involved a chart ruler in this house may spell out a person who craves recognition or reward for their status, good deeds, or accomplishments. There is nothing inherently wrong with this but it may cause a lack of fulfillment for the individuals. The chart ruler in the 6th House may work themselves to death or be distracted from people or things that truly feed their soul and help their mental health because they can get distracted with "the right way" to do things, with daily tasks they need to check off, or a sense of heavy duty. In this way modesty may be needed not to humble but to cut through the b.s. of more shallow pursuits and relationships. Some with this placement may need to be brought down to earth sometimes, just not in the way they or most may expect. Some may fear leaving their routine and habits, easily getting stuck in ruts. This will take courage to break routines or unhealthy habits, but it will also take self-discipline and even gratitude. Being thankful for the past and the present may help them to overcome fears of regret, failure, losing, or even imperfection. Boundaries, self-worth, discipline, physical and mental health, and self-sacrifice are all subjects that can make or break this placement's expression. Those with this placement likely want to be part of something that is bigger than them. Something that gives the everyday purposes or light. They can find this in the simple things and in everyday happenings. Because of that humility and gratitude are this chart ruler's crown.

~7th House~

The house that is all about relationships, you can expect that having your chart ruler here means plenty of action, karma, lessons, struggles, highs and lows to one's friendships, romances, rivalries, and enemies. This may have been a person who learned early on how important it is to get along with others or possibly to stand out from others. The chart ruler in the 7th does not automatically make one easygoing and cooperative. Mars or Aries in this house may drive someone to be competitive, overly independent, or antagonistic with others, finding this to bring them the most excitement or even peace in their life. Questions about relationships and who they are to others may always be part of their life. The 7th House is about projection and how you present yourself to others and how others reinforce your self. Those with their chart ruler in the 7th may find that they have deep insecurities about being loved and accepted. The chart ruler here may indicate someone who struggles a lot with boundaries, people pleasing, and balancing the needs of themselves vs. the needs of others. Even with a hotter or more self-focused influence like the Sun or fire element can find themselves easily losing themselves in others or forgetting to take care of themselves. Equality, respect, and honesty are pillars they need to build in their relationships. Some with this placement may need to unwrap their ego from their relationships and loved ones, others may need to overcome a fear of loneliness. They feel fulfilled when in a happy relationship. Things like self-love and healthy boundaries will be important for this placement but I would say their biggest virtues, what they will find strength from is with both unity and independence. 👑

~8th House~

How does the house of secrets, the taboo, intimacy, sharing, death, rebirth, inheritance, loans, and the metaphysical and occult motivate one and their life? This darker house can have abstract or intangible influences on one's self-expression. First those with their chart ruler in the 8th likely have a strong connection to their intuition, emotional side, depths, religious or spiritual beliefs, or psyche. They may have learned at a young age the importance of listening and of staying away from or investigating the dark, scary places of themselves and others. They learned about monsters under the bed or in the closet early on. One of the physical ways this house manifests is through physical intimacy. The 8th House rules over all forms of intimacy, physical or not. Those with their ruler in this house will likely have a life greatly impacted by this somehow. Maybe they are in tune with their body and libido, others may struggle to tame it or get in touch with it. Maybe they easily become attached and close with others, or maybe they are extremely guarded and detached. Chart ruler in the 8th commonly indicates someone who is more secretive or private. What they share or don't share with others may be a huge focus. Rewards and punishment for being overly open or overly closed may be a common challenge. A fear of looking weak, wrong, or bad can exist. Speaking of fear, this house rules over it. I could see someone with their chart ruler here struggle with nightmares in their life. This may be someone who struggles with timidness, or even acting cowardly. Others may be addicted to adrenaline, finding it an escape or confidence boost. Some assign psychology to this house and with this can be a huge desire to know and master the self. With the ruler here their self-awareness game may be strong. This is also the house of transformation and joint, inner, or (will)power. These people may very likely have vibrant, passionate, intense inner selves or personal lives that are very much hidden or a mystery to others. Abuse, trauma, and life-changing events are not exclusive to the 8th House but this placement may find immense insight, wisdom, and empowerment from them. Just like the cliche of the phoenix, they get stronger after turmoil, rising from the ashes. Vulnerability and compassion are their crown.

~9th House~

This is the house of travel and higher education but also philosophy, beliefs, meaning. Having your chart ruler here indicates high energy, enthusiasm or a zealous nature, curiosity, and optimism. A passion for learning and exploration, an open mind and heart, or a desire to be part of something higher and greater than them are common motivators. They may frequently find themselves asking philosophical questions throughout life or big pictured questions. Some simply like to think and wonder while others get too stuck on "what ifs" in their life. This placement is likely passionate about their beliefs and opinions. Even if their beliefs aren't rooted in religion or the spiritual, they may be opinionated and forceful about them. Being highly open and changeable about your beliefs may be a theme too. This could be a person who is very open-minded to different religions and cultures and wants to try them all in some capacity. Either way belief is central to their life and character. The 9th House can be associated with worldly matters, foreign affairs, how culture and ethics differ, form, and are practiced. Being a globetrotter may be a common manifestation or being highly active in politics or foreign relations. This house is also about rituals, publishing, hopes, the future, storytelling. Those with their ruler in this house may find they have a complex relationship with truth vs. lies or illusions. The duality between hope and despair may exist in their conflicts and challenges. There can be a thirst for knowledge, especially specialized, privileged, forbidden, or secret knowledge. These people may live in their own cages or horizons based on their beliefs. Their worldview may mean everything to them. Belief either in themselves or something else and curiosity are their crown.

~10th House~

Status, reputation, or reward, especially the material kind are the most likely motivators for someone with their chart ruler in the 10th. The 10th house is about career, reputation, ambition, public life, authority, parental influence, discipline, recognition, purpose. There may be a huge need for a great sense of purpose. Responsibility and reputation are hot topics for those with their chart ruler here. These may be two things that haunt or bring joy to them throughout life. A fear of failure, embarrassment, or a lack of control can be a huge challenge for this placement. Seeking approval from or rebelling from an authority figure may be a huge drive for some. Their self-expression is focused and monitored, criticized and restrained so it fits within their society or family. Matters of support and providing are important for those with this placement. Both receiving it and giving it may be challenging or rewarding. Those with this placement may be passionate about campaigning for or providing for those who lack help much like they may have lacked when younger. These people typically strive to be helpful, depended on, the leader or decision maker, the problem solver. Even those that are more independent, unconventional, and rebellious may find themselves leading a rag-tag team of outcasts. Control issues and obsession with career or work can be challenges. Many with this placement find purpose and identity through their career. Some are driven by places of fear and insecurity around control. But it is commitment and honor that makes up this placement's crown. Through these virtues/traits they can find strength and energy.

~11th House~

The 11th House is the house of social awareness, collective action and consciousness. How one fits in with society or a group is very important here. Individuality has a place in this house but the story is more about how one fits in or stands out with their individuality than just defining that individuality. The 11th House is also about friendship, acceptance, alienation, awareness, trends, the higher mind, intellect and intuition, wishes/aspirations. This tends to be a hopeful and extroverted house in terms of its general influence. Having your chart ruler here means you may find meaning and direction by being part of organizations or groups. There may also be a struggle to find people you belong with. Motivation tends to come from social expectations/pressures, societal norms, rebellion, isolation, idealism, or fear of missing out. Friends and peers may be very important to those who's ruler sits in this house. From an early age this individual learned the importance and need for acceptance by one's peers or may have found refuge, learning, and understanding in them. Expanding their mind and knowledge through others may be a drive for them. Having a charismatic and confident self-expression may be important for some, or finding those who celebrate or are attracted to their unique sense of self-expression. Those with this placement may sympathize with or find purpose through humanitarian pursuits. There can be a part of them that wants to do good on a large scale - to help humanity, the world, society. Motivation and a guide for the self may come from seeing the big picture and caring for groups or humanity. But depending on the sign, planet, and aspects having your ruler in this house may also cause one to be highly selfish and focused on how a group can benefit them. There may be a desire to control or dominate a group of people or organization. Conformity and nonconformity can also be pulled to one of the extremes with this individual. Getting carried away with group fear, hope, promises, deception, and division can also happen with these people. They can understand the pros and cons, the depths of tribalism. It is important for them to learn quickly a healthy separation between the self and the group. But ultimately tolerance of others and cooperation are this chart ruler's crown.

~12th House~

The House of the subconscious and hidden or secrets can be tricky to explain. When the chart ruler is in the 12th House one's motivation can be elusive or at times, they may feel that they lack motivation or that they struggle to express and define the self. Being introverted or shy is common with this placement. Getting to know oneself is a lifelong path for many with this placement. There can be a desire to be found, to discover from the self and from others something meaningful, a desire to be connected spiritually, for intense intimacy, or possibly a feeling of wholeness. They themselves may struggle to pinpoint their desires, needs, and motivations, but once discovered they can be highly empowered. This is also the house of isolation, loss of power, loss of ego or identity, and loss in general. This person may confront many uncomfortable questions, truths, or experiences surrounding loss. This house shares similar themes with the 4th and 8th Houses - family karma and secrets, depth, psychology or psyche, spirituality, magic, intuition. A yearning to understand the self can be present for those with this placement. There may also be a drive to understand themselves and others through spiritual lenses. A drive to heal and help may exist here as well. This house covers many intense and bleaker subjects, but it is associated with surrender, forgiveness, reconnection, rebirth, reparation, hidden strengths or potential, and the good and bad of spirituality, oneness, and karma. People with this placement may be natural healers, counselors, or teachers. Fearing or embracing loneliness and separation may be a common manifestation. Through the dynamic between creation and destruction that this house has, they can find great insight and power from their pain. Empathy and listening to one's soul or intuition are what makes up their crown.

[eamour]

unfavourable concepts.

i've been meaning to address this for some time now. with social media becoming a platform with such a large number of people talking about different concepts in love, work, health and so on, there are concepts which i think need to be discussed, especially as they affect so many of us.

before we start, celest1albeing on twitter inspired me to write this post! make sure to check out their thread on there as well.

disclaimer.

these are concepts that don’t serve me personally. i don’t expect you to stop believing these concepts or make them apply to you and the world if you have no problems with them. if you can resonate and identify with these, that’s perfectly fine.

concepts of love.

information · these are all only examples which i seem to encounter frequently and which seem to be common.

young men cannot commit · men only treat pretty women with respect · all male friends of women just wanna hit · if he wanted to he would · they categorise you into sweet, sexy and pretty · he doesn’t love you if he does this · men always cheat and lie · they all only want one thing · they only like ass or tits · all men are the same · you can't change his type · you aren't his dream girl · men love quiet women · if a man doesn’t pay he isn't the one

you are just an option · once you are married your partner will become less romantic · after 3 months their true colours will show (honeymoon phase) · true love doesn’t exist · after the talking stage you either get into a situationship or go no contact · getting into a relationship is hard ·

women can’t be friends with men · women are complicated · they only want your money and wouldn’t want to date men who earn little · there is always another woman · they always look for someone better · you have to work on your divine feminine energy · you need to get out of your masculine energy · a woman needs to know her place

concepts of work.

money doesn’t grow on trees · it’s hard to get money · you have to work hard in order to afford your lifestyle · only if you do the work you can get a promotion · you could never be a ceo · you need to be privileged and born into richness for this position · this generation is lazy · no one wants to work · they are all going to end up jobless and poor · nowadays we are only evolving backwards

concepts of school.

you need to learn in order to get good grades · you cannot be smart without putting in the effort · teachers always have their favourite students · it's almost impossible to get good grades by teachers who can't stand you

concepts of health.

pasta makes you gain weight · you need to eat xyz and you cannot eat zyx · junk food is unhealthy · you need to workout in order to be fit · you can only lose weight by eating less · good skin requires an expensive skin care routine · t's hard to treat acne · you cannot get rid of scars on your face

self sabotage.

all in all, it all comes down to one thing: but is this what you want to believe in? do these beliefs serve you in any way? can you continue believing in them without worsening life for yourself? see, i am not the one shoving these concepts down your throat and expecting you to tweet "men ain’t shit". it’s all up to you if you want to claim these concepts as your truth or not. but if you keep believing in any undesirable concept that you KNOW does not help you in any way, you are only self sabotaging yourself IF you know that you can change these beliefs of yours.

evaluation.

the reason why i made this post is to emphasise that you can CHOOSE to believe in these concepts or not. you aren't tied to them. you don't depend on them. and you don't need to follow these concepts either.

i know we live in a society where even if you don’t initially believe that men suck or that you will get cheated on one way or another, we are still influenced by the experiences of others and may end up experiencing these things regardless. but you don’t have to!!! just because jessica had a man promise her the world and left her with nothing it doesn’t mean that it’s gonna happen to you as well. you are NOT her, you aren’t — and you don’t have to be — ANY of these people telling you about how awful people are, how sickening it is to date in this decade, etc. you don’t have to believe ANY of these things, in fact, you can change these concepts and the people around you.

in conclusion, you are your own person with your own individual beliefs. however, you have the CHOICE. no one's forcing you to believe any of these concepts, nor do they hold a universal truth to them. they come from the same awareness that can state the exact opposite.

with love, ella.

[xjulixred45x]

If you don't mind me can I request male reader who like Akaza from Demon slayer with the Hazbin Hotel.

Bonus: respect woman.

Hello! Normally i would Say no bc My Requests are Closed but you're lucky that i'm in a good mood to write and also i am a fan of this Man✨ 😭

Thanks for the Request ❤️

(to the other Readers, don't take this as something usual, the Requests are still Closed, i'm just in the mood to write THIS for now)

Akaza! Reader in Hazbin Hotel

Genre: headcanons

Reader: male

Warnings: Reader is a fighter, violence(?), hell, slight change in Akaza story so its not a Copy-paste and make "more sense",idk, I MAKE THIS IN A RUSH OF ✨INSPIRATION✨SO ITS NOT PROFFHEAD!!

You were born and raised in the Edo era, in Japan. and it was a nightmare.

You lived in poverty all your life, practically alone with your sick father who could barely take care of himself, but he always tried to take care of you above all else.

You spent a lot of your life trying to take care of him back, but it was difficult because of money, you couldn't afford it. so you did the only thing you could think of: steal medicine.

Obviously many times this didn't turn out well, and they ended up catching you and taking you to be beaten and tattooed like a criminal, but it was the kind of life you led until your father died.

That was when you hit rock bottom, but you met certain people who helped you move forward. a martial arts master and his sick daughter (who reminded you a lot of your father).

And it was the time when you lived better, you took care of your teacher's daughter and you learned from him, you had a good life.

you and his daughter even fell in love!

everything had fallen into place in your life...

until conflicts broke out again.

You don't remember much about your last days of life, it was a cycle of going, killing whoever got in your way, returning with whatever you wanted from your group, and whatever followed...

You just wanted to go home.

but you died before that.

and just as you expected, after everything you had done wrong in your life, you ended up in hell.

It wasn't exactly like the hell you had imagined growing up, but it was definitely difficult to adjust, knowing that you were dead, in this hole of misery, far from them...

but you didn't waste your time. You discovered quite quickly that several of your physical abilities had stayed with you, so you took advantage of them and became a quite formidable demon.

You wouldn't say you were an Overlord, but you were definitely an anomaly to Hell's QUO status, a demon who had become powerful without the need for owning souls.

something very strange.

so many Overlords, feeling threatened, tried to go after you, only to never be seen again...

As for the Hotel issue, I think that Akaza! reader would be skeptical, I don't think he would have a problem offering himself as a test subject for the hotel because 1- there is Alastor, someone very strong, and 2- he has a small hope that the hotel will work and maybe, just maybe he can redeem himself and go. to heaven with his love and his teacher, what he loves most. although he wouldn't say the last thing out loud.

Speaking of relationships, Alastor and him can actually get along in a very ambiguous way, Alastor is not happy with someone who is so strong without even having souls of their own, so he is cautious, but not in a threatening way.

Although there is something these two have in common, THEY RESPECT WOMEN.

Alastor can definitely introduce him to Akaza! read several of his female friends to be more "social" and get possible blackmail material.

Alastor secretly knows of the possible motives behind why Akaza! Reader would like the hotel to work, he thinks he is naive, but he doesn't make fun, Alastor partly understands why he feels that way. leaves him alone in that sense.

...but it bothers him in every other way! using it as an armrest, innocuous phrases, crushing it with things out of nowhere, etc. He always has something up his sleeve to piss him off.

but they can ally if women get involved ;)

Charlie is so so so so so happy to have Akaza! reader as another participant alongside Angel and Sir Pentious! She constantly thanks him for his collaboration and tells him how much it means to her.

Lots of encouragement during the trust exercises! she realizes that Akaza! Reader is not very talkative, and although he does not force him to change, he "subtly" encourages him to be more open with the exercises.

Although that does not mean that she admits the fights, she tries to encourage Akaza! reader to find another way to get out his anger and energy in less destructive ways.

I think I would be the only one who knows through Akaza! reader why he wants the hotel to work, and she is SO MOVED by him because Reader wants to redeem himself and that gives him a lot of motivation to do more exercises.

Aunaue is also sometimes a double-edged sword because she feels pressured not only by wanting to help her friends, but also by Akaza's cute motive! reader.

Akaza! reader is very protective of Charlie even if she is the princess of hell, he is like a bodyguard! or a very loyal pitbull. Charlie finds it endearing (but please don't rip that demon's head off please---)

Vaggie is scared of Akaza at first! reader for his aggressive nature.

She is afraid that he will end up directing that destructive energy towards them if he is very angry, so she is very cautious at first.

but eventually she can relax more and more with him as she realizes that (at least with women) he's not going to explode on anyone who doesn't deserve it. and that in fact he is a good man.

sparring together! Vaggie feels kind of bad that he doesn't have a gun, but is surprised at how tough he is.

If she finds out his reason behind going to the hotel, she supports him a lot in his journey of redemption, more than before, she empathizes with him.

They both have similar motives.

Vaggie really appreciates when Akaza! reader defends the female staff against Angel's out-of-place comments. she may even allow him to hit him.

You two are the main people in charge of protecting the hotel.

Let's be honest, Angel dust at first was just "flirting"/sexually harassing Akaza! reader until he beat him up and never did it again.

He thought he was simply bitter about life until he remembered that on one occasion he told him that "he was taken" and he didn't take it so personally.

After the duet with Husk, he went directly to apologize to him and they were on bad terms.

Angel occasionally likes to prank him like everyone else in the hotel, but he's considerably less annoying with Akaza! reader because he knows what he is capable of.

When he eventually finds out why he is "taken" and why someone like him is in the hotel, he can't help but empathize with him a lot (from his sister in heaven), and tries to be his "Husk" at his lowest moment. .

Even if technically Akaza!reader is stronger than him in every way, he takes care of him in his own way, watching his drink, not being robbed, etc.

Angel is definitely not used to so much respect when it comes to his gender identity, which is why he respects Akaza a lot! reader.

They generally start off on the wrong foot but manage to be friends.

Husk likes Akaza! reader, simply because it gets on Alastor's nerves and because he knows that he won't kick the ass of someone who doesn't deserve it. He knows everyone is safe with him.

He definitely knows about his reason for being in the hotel and pities him, respects his privacy a lot after that and doesn't let him talk drunk.

Husk may get to have his "loser baby" moment with Akaza! reader but in a platonic way, helping him when it is especially difficult to stay away from violence.

They can even have a father-son relationship, Husk is very similar to Akaza's teacher! reader in many ways EMOTIONALLY SPEAKING so Akaza! reader feels comfortable with him.

she definitely tells him things about her past as Overlord to entertain him.

Sir Pentious at first was TERRIFIED of Akaza!reader, his reputation was as a tough guy who went after evil people and Pentious (having his poor self-image) thought he would kill him as soon as he saw him.

but fortunately it was not like that!

but he was definitely avoiding it for DAYS before he heard from the others that Akaza!reader wasn't that bad and was actually quite nice. to give him a chance.

and Pentious did just that. and he was VERY surprised.

Akaza! reader has had to dismantle several of Sir Pentious's evil machines using his enormous strength, and although Pentious was heartbroken to see his machines destroyed, he was also VERY surprised by Akaza!reader's capabilities, even giving me more things to do. break and test their strength (imagine this pair getting to know the Rage Rooms).

Pentious Minnions occasionally go to Akaza! reader when P. is not there, which is fun to see because Akaza!reader would try to get away from the Minions that come after him like ducks.

Akaza! reader clearly notices Pentious's crush on Cherri, and encourages him to do something now that he has time.

(Can you imagine Akaza! reader's Koyuki becoming friends with Pentious in heaven? It would be Epico).

Mononeuronal pair.

Niffty is strange.

but I can definitely see Akaza! reader protecting it constantly. so Niffty likes him. But I wouldn't really say they are friends.

In general, everyone has some kind of respect for Akaza! reader. They hope you can reach your goal.

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

Again, this DOES NOT MEAN that orders are open again! I'm just taking a break and deciding what things to write and what not to. thanks for the request ✨❤️

[heiayen]

gently wipe the sorrow off my life, i dream scaramouche x gn!reader

summary: "you didn’t know what happened, why it happened and that was breaking your heart, cutting it open, leaving burning pain in your chest, where once flowers of love bloomed." you're surprised and completely heartbroken when your lover, kunikuzushi, suddenly disappears without a trace. you think it's the end of the world, with your heart open and bleeding but soon you discover, that there is still happiness waiting for you.

tags: based on the prompt "there’ll be happiness after you but there was happiness because of you", scara's real name used, modern au (from highschool to college), scara basically pulls an irminsul but why? blame dottore angst/bittersweet, [name] is very much going through it </3 title name taken from the honkai star rail song "if i can stop one heart from breaking". not proofread

notes: hi. i come back with angst! written for @thexianzhoujade's personal memoires event and truthfully i kinda hate this fic HAJAHS but this is fine i am not fine blah blah blah yippee. i forgot how to write scara so sorry if this fic is kinda ooc but yeahhh have fun enjoy !! <3 as if anyone is going to enjoy angst LMAO

“Come on, it’s just one photo and besides, we barely have pictures of us…”

“...just one, fine. Get in here.”

A part of you wished you had taken more pictures with him. Pictures from dates in the blooming parks, from hangouts with your friends after school, from spending time together at his place, something to fill up the empty photo album you found hidden in your room. You filled only a few pages, with a few pictures of you and Kunikuzushi, of you taken by your friends, of your family during holidays, pictures of you and your friends, his friends, a picture of him you took when he didn’t see– the one you considered putting in your wallet, laughing how you’d look like a spouse missing their husband. 

(You counted exactly six photos of him in your album, compared to the twenty or so with others. Barely a quarter, not even a half, barely a page and a half of the album.)

You moved your fingers over one of them, the one you took after graduation– laughing with your friends, posing at the camera, tightly holding his hand, and tugging him closer, and wondered.

Did it have to end like this? If you only knew what was happening, would you somehow fix it in time?

Things were… nice, before. Being with him was nice, even if his personality sometimes made you tug at your hair in annoyance. But you found a common language and spoke in it till the very end, sharing your joy and sadness, annoyance and anger, silent tears and gentle fluttering in your chests. 

When you first met Kunikuzushi in school, you had your opinions about him– he wasn’t the nicest, wasn’t talking with many other students, and seemingly valued his time alone more than with someone. You understood it, some people simply weren’t the social butterflies but it became a problem when, by some unlucky charm (at least, you thought it was unlucky then), you ended up together to work on a project. You didn’t know him and your teacher decided to pair you by herself, saying how she wanted her students to interact more with each other. It seemed like a terrible idea at first.

(You rolled your eyes, giving a look to your friend. You really didn’t entertain this idea– to do a big project with someone other than your friend? You dealt with enough shitty groupmates leaving you on read or delivered in your life, and that was for small projects! What if you got someone as shitty as them? You shuddered at the thought alone.)

But, oh, how wrong you were. You didn’t expect to befriend that guy, and yet a few months in, Kunikuzushi became your best friend, and a year later– your lover. 

You remembered that love confession like yesterday; a little awkward, he jumbled over his words and you said something stupid in return, laughing awkwardly at yourself and almost getting up from that bench and marching back home. It was late, the bench in the park illuminated by the streetlight. A part of you was sure he planned for the confession to look different, yet whatever his ideal plan was, you wouldn’t exchange what you got for it. 

He walked you back home, you remembered, holding your hand.

To say you were happy was an understatement. Something bloomed in your chest with every day spent together with him, the little affections between you warming your heart and cheeks, and every morning seemed… a little brighter. It wasn’t wake up, get dressed, go to school, spend majority of your day studying, sleep, anymore.

Wake up, reply to Kunikuzushi’s late night message he sent. Get dressed and don’t forget about that chain necklace with a pendant he gave you for your birthday (you were matching, of course you were matching). Go to school and spend the day with your friends, with Kunikuzushi, with his friends (although you weren’t sure if that ginger guy was really his friend, but…). Spend the rest of your day studying, texting, and sometimes hanging out if you had free time (which turned into weekly hangouts with all your friends and… sometimes, more than once a week, just you and Kunikuzushi). Text him goodnight and smile at his, although short, reply back. Sleep. 

You hoped it would stay like this… for longer. For as long as possible, just living in this bliss, being happy and not alone, with people you loved and who loved you back, some even more than others.

(Selfishly, you wanted that to last forever. Forever the high school student with no worries other than passing exams and doing your homework on time. Forever with your friends, spending weekends with them, having fun and not caring about anything else. Was it selfish to want to be happy forever?)

Kunikuzushi was here with you for all your problems, even if, truthfully, he wasn’t the best at solving them, and neither he was good at words. But he was still here, offering you support and letting you talk about what annoyed you, what made you sad and sometimes, he still would try to comfort you, loudly agreeing with your complaints, (lovingly) threatening to beat someone up if they were an asshole to you, telling you to not worry. It wasn’t the end yet. 

His presence alone helped you manage through harder days– it was better to be with someone after all, rather than spend your days wallowing in sadness alone, with only the walls willing to listen. 

(You offered him help, too. Quietly sitting and listening to his rants about his mother, squeezing his hand and tugging him closer to you– or simply being next to him, when touch was something unwanted.)

When graduation came, in bittersweet tears you promised your friends (and Kunikuzushi, of course) to still be in touch with them, and never leave them alone just because you weren’t students from the same class anymore. That didn’t change anything, no.

The summer vacation you spent mostly with your friends, hanging out and enjoying the warm, summer weather. So many trips, so many walks with Kunikuzushi and dates– oh, that picnic you two went on one day… it started raining at one point (the weather reports lied to you, it seemed) and you only had a blanket to cover yourself from the rain. How funny it was, how much you wished you could get the chance to do it again, with him–

You sighed, closing the album. Sometime before the summer’s end, right before the start of college, you noticed… changes in Kunikuzushi’s behavior. He still was your lover, caring about you in his own ways, he still was the man you loved, but something seemed to always bug him. Something seemed to sit on his shoulders, heavy. You always asked him if he was okay because yes, yes, you noticed his worse mood, noticed all the little things he tried to hide and you were worried, really worried, and–

And yet, you never got a proper answer. Always to not worry, that nothing was wrong, and you were tired of that, maybe if you, at least this once, pressed him for answers, during that summer night you called a date–

Maybe you would know why he suddenly disappeared without a trace.

The many messages you sent, the many unanswered calls– you asked your friends around, his friends, and were greeted with radio silence in answer. You didn’t know what happened, why it happened and that was breaking your heart, cutting it open, leaving burning pain in your chest, where once flowers of love bloomed.

(These flowers would never truly burn, you feared. Some would still leave, polluting your heart and making it harder to breathe.)

What was once beautiful turned into a burden, far too heavy to carry alone. There was so much stress on your plate– because what if something happened to him? What if someone did something to him, what if there was something you could do to change it? Why were you so distracted throughout the day? Why was it hard to get up in the morning, why the only thing you wanted to do was to wait at your phone, with hopes of seeing at least a single message from him? Where went your motivation to study, to do well in college as you promised yourself?

Where was he? What happened? Could you change it?

Were you at fault?

(No, of course you weren’t. You did everything in your power, but it just wasn’t enough. None of this was your fault.)

Were you alone in it?

…no, you weren’t. It felt like you were, especially at first; with new people around you, your friends offering you support but ultimately being busy, you felt alone. Terribly so, loneliness gnawing at your soul all the time, leaving the icy cold feeling in its wake. 

But life forced you to get up from that pit, whether you wanted that or not. You couldn’t fail your major, not when you worked so hard to get into it in the first place. And neither you wanted to completely cut off your friends, so you started replying to their texts more. You’ve met new people, too, and made new friendships.

Things were getting back on track after, you thought that they wouldn’t. You pulled yourself up with your own strength, with your friends cheering for you from the distance, their cheers putting a smile on your face. 

(Younger you thought that if you ever were to break up with Kunikuzushi, the world would simply… end. You ignored that thought creeping into your mind, waved it away, pushed it deep at the bottom of your mind. It wouldn’t happen.)

Now, as you looked at the pictures, you still felt a sharp pang in your chest. You missed him, yes, and you still thought about the days you spent together with him, but they no longer brought you back into that darkness you once experienced.

They were a bittersweet memory now. Ones, you would cherish till the end, gently putting them on the shelf with new, happy memories. 

You hummed to yourself in thought, tapping at the cover of the album with your nail. Maybe instead of pondering how you should take more photos of the past, maybe you should take more of the future? Fill the album up with new photos of yourself, your friends, random things that you found pretty and worth remembering. 

Your phone threw you out of the thinking, the loud noise of the ringtone filling up the room. Right, you were supposed to meet up with your friends in an hour and here you were, going through your old stuff and procrastinating the shower. 

You put the album away and picked up your phone. A smile tugged at your lips hearing the overjoyed voice of your friend, telling you how excited they are to meet with you again (your last hangout was two weeks ago!) and that they already left.

You looked back at the album.

With today, you’d start filling it up with new memories of your happiness.

[spanishskulduggery]

In Spanish mannerisms, is it common to use the usted conjugation for your peer group? Then as you become well acquainted,you eventually transition to the tú form? Trying to gauge social norms with proper grammar. It's easy to offend when learning a language.

It is no longer common to use it that way, no

Bear with me because I'm going to have to explain how things were, and how things are now to make it make complete sense

For the purposes of general modern Spanish, usted is considered polite and formal, and tú considered more common among your peers and people younger than you. You don't usually have to use usted with someone your same age or in your peer group (like a stranger at university)

Sometimes people use usted with their bosses and superiors, regardless of their apparent age... but there are times when someone will say something to the effect of "use tú with me"

It's not a big social faux pas if you address someone about your age or younger with tú. It could be a bit rude to do it to a client/customer/judge/doctor depending on where you are, but it used to be a bigger mistake than it now is

A lot of countries have relaxed the social norms after moving away from a more aristocratic/feudal society... where usted is now a social courtesy for someone in a respected position, but not because they're "better" than you if that makes sense

-

In older Spanish it was more common to use usted with strangers as a courtesy. The roots of the formality/informality are related to title and acquaintanceship; where usted was more commonly used to address someone unknown to the speaker, and its etymology is related to saying "your lordship/ladyship" like saying "sir" or "madam" when speaking to someone

It was common to use this form of address in polite conversation to afford someone the respect that their title afforded them, or in cases of unknowns, it was to treat people with respect so as not to accidentally slight someone's reputation

The tú form was then more commonly used with people who were related to you [a sign of intimacy or kinship], and in older feudal settings, more commonly used with servants and people who were lower than your station

-

These rules have relaxed considerably since most Spanish-speaking countries either have different rules, or they're not so distinctly feudal in nature

In practice, usted is more commonly used for someone older than you; even with strangers, it's more common to use tú with someone who is your age or younger. And it is considered preferable to use usted when speaking with customers and clients

HOWEVER - this will largely depend on the country in question

As an example, I was taught [in the US] that you should talk to doctors and teachers with usted. However, I've been told by Spaniards for example that they use tú with their teachers, and their teachers use tú with them

Argentina is completely unique in that they use vos for everything and that tú and usted are less commonly used now

Some countries in Latin America prefer to use usted even with children or people they know

And many countries have some kind of use of vos which is in some places more informal than tú and vos is used among friends/relations

Chile, for example will use vos among peers and it's considered more common among the younger generation. But I've been told that vos is considered impolite, practically rude, when used with the older generation - sort of like if you called your grandmother "dude"

-

You will find a lot of variation in countries - everyone will understand usted and tú and they're understanding of you being a foreigner and not exactly fitting in with the country's particular social norms regarding formality

Still in a place like Argentina I would expect them to call me vos even if I'm using tú because I never learned the vos conjugation; if I were living/working in Argentina I would go out of my way to learn the vos to fit in better

[nanomooselet]

Little but Fierce II

Sorry, sorry, I changed my mind - first up I'll explain Milly's absence, and why that's important. (Thus no pictures, sorry. Also this is extremely long.)

Stampede definitely skews toward an older demographic than the ‘98 anime; shounen this is not, not even a little. I remember the director (I think?) saying Cowboy Bebop was an influence, and I do see it. Structurally they're both very musically-driven - each episode explores a variation on the theme until the climax. But there's some thematic similarities too, sort of, mostly around the way the Bebop crew related to each other. It's a found family, yes. But found inevitably first means having lost. And there's a few ways to lose a family, but the one in this post might be the most common.

Stampede talks about fighting to grow up - moving from the security of childhood to the freedom of adulthood, and what inevitably gets left behind.

Under good circumstances, childhood is certain and safe. You're provided everything you need and your caregivers will protect you. You're not held responsible for anything, since you're still learning the shape of the world, and not expected to perform, achieve, or provide. It's the job of your caregivers to do those for you while you acquire practical and social skills, support your body's healthy development, and form a stable sense of self and an identity of your own. Under ideal circumstances, you'll get the opportunity to make plenty of mistakes but face no permanent consequences, just an explanation of how you went wrong you can learn from - since mistakes are how you learn. This is how you build your confidence and in general become better at the whole "human being" business, which believe me does actually take practice and is not inherent. Not everyone figures it out, either.

On the other hand, you also don't really have choices or power, and your reality is confined, any edges rounded. Without consequences there also isn't change. Your identity isn't your own. You are a child of your parents or the ward of your caregivers - you belong to them, in a sense are part of them, because you're their responsibility. Many experiences are gated from you until you mature. In general the world is a simple place and your feelings feel very big, but lack complexity. You're sad, happy, or angry from head to toe, but only one at a time and not over much. It feels important, but that's because kids can't have perspective. It's always the most important thing to them because they haven't experienced anything more important yet.

Adulthood is less safe but more free - you have to fulfil your own desires and defend yourself. Social connections are yours to try to form. You will likely have to work to provide for yourself, and perhaps others - it's no longer anyone's job to do that for you. You are accountable, you are responsible, your actions have consequences that rebound not only on you but upon others, good or bad. Outcomes are also more uncertain, and mistakes can be proportionately harder to recover from.

But you have autonomy - selfhood, identity are yours to claim. Choices are your own to make. There are downsides but also advantages, opportunities for greater happiness but also inevitable pain, and in general more subtle, complex emotions and situations. It can be very hard. But it can also be very beautiful.

Inevitably, humans being mammals and having such utterly helpless infants, there'll be at one point in your life you play the role of child to a caregiver. Odds are fairly good you'll also be caregiver to a child at least once (or something like one). Think how many of us have pets. Or even an older sibling to a younger. Teacher to a student. Such relationships always shape us, whichever role you occupy. There's a common archetype in folklore of the "mother of death", because whoever you were before becoming a parent has to die, at least a little, to make room for the vast responsibility of parenthood - think of giving up a career to raise a family, for example. And creating a life means inevitably you have invoked a death. All that lives, in time, will die.

Got all that?

So Stampede and arguably Trigun as a whole is about what happens when you fuck with it.

Good circumstances, yeah, you aren't going to find those. Let's see how hard people try anyway. Let's see what happens when care of a child is suddenly assumed by someone unprepared - or when a child is forced to assume a caregiving role. Or when a child never receives a childhood before being unmade, destroyed, but still surviving to claim the freedom of adulthood. What do they become?

(Am I talking about Wolfwood? Legato? You tell me.)

Are the Plants here to take care of us or ours to take care of? Can we only take from them or is there some way to give back? Can it be mutual? Or must we pick a side?

We don't have Milly yet because Milly resolves the argument. She's someone who sees no reason to pick a side. She's a very caring, protective person who also has no problem with being taken care of - she's happy to defer to Meryl, whom she has great respect for. And Meryl has respect for her too. It's a very good working relationship! Which, uh, unfortunately doesn't leave a lot of room for exploration of the main conflict, and might have been why they faded out a bit in the later volumes.

The purpose of switching Milly with Roberto was to create that conflict. There are a lot of mothers in Stampede but not many places for dads. And one thing I very much have come to appreciate is that both were afforded equal flaws, redemption and sympathy. There's no bumbling useless fathers, or blandly nice mothers (even Rem, who comes the closest, had terrible regrets, and I get the feeling we haven't seen the last of her. Really, around this point in the story in the older tellings a lot of people still thought she was Vash's dead girlfriend, so let's not hasten to judge). Rosa is a hard woman and she turns on Vash, but she has her reasons and Knives punishes her far too cruelly. Brad's kind of an asshole, but it's because he cares so deeply and doesn't know how to talk about it.

Roberto is jaded, but he takes his responsibility seriously and he's a good teacher to Meryl. He isn't just a vehicle for exposition.

Nor does he treat her badly in any way. Meryl feels perfectly safe snatching away his booze and talking back to him. They become fond of and comfortable around each other so quickly because they both decent and clever people, fundamentally similar. It's built on mutual respect, trust and communication.

Compare to how Knives interacts with Vash, how long the pauses are in their reunion in the diner. Knives is trying to be gentle, but Vash is so terrified he can't finish a sentence, can hardly speak at all, his voice is shaking so badly. Knives sneers when Vash doesn't instantly react with affection. Which is… insane considering this is exactly how it was the last time they met: Knives gruesomely murders someone, smearing the walls and floor with blood, and then expects Vash to be grateful or impressed. Their relationship is one in the process of slowly but violently shattering.

Meryl is very young in Stampede. She's got some significant character flaws. But it's hard for her not to do better than that.

Part I

Part III

Part IV

Part V

Part VI

Part VII

Part VIII

Part IX

[meabh-mcinness]

~~(⁎❛ᴗ❛⁎)~~ Requests are closed

Commissions page here!

Patreon here!

Ko-fi here!

-Rules!

Right now, I'm strictly writing for the Mairimashita! Iruma-kun fandom and monster x readers. Please keep requests within that frame!

I write NSFW (both gore and happy fun times) but there are certain kinks I won't write. Including but not limited to: urophilia, underage, age play (light play such as calling "baby" is fine, I'm talking about the more hardcore version with nappies and stuff) r*peplay and a few others. If what you want isn't on this list, but you're still not sure, then dm me! I'm more than happy to talk about it!

You can ask for head cannons, scenarios, fics or even request prompts!

It may take a while for me to write, so please be patient!

Masterlist

Key:

Angst Ⓐ

Smut ♣ Multichapter ■ Fics ♪ Ficlets ♦ Headcannons ☼ Drabbles ⌂

Balam Shicirou

*In Sickness (x gn reader) ♪

Humans do not have ‘Evil Cycles’ it’s true. However, they can bend under stress in other ways. Some lose their minds and others present more physical symptoms. With all the stress of parenting, working as a teacher, and doing your best to make sure no one figures out either your or Iruma’s rather human status, it’s no wonder you fall victim to a stress fever. Luckily for you, the resident gargoyle demon is more than happy to help nurse you back to health once he discovers your ill state.

Family Day (x mom!reader)♪

In Schenell's endless quest for Ameri's love, he accidentally turns Iruma into a toddler. This would have been fine, if he had a remedy for said confliction. Now, as you wait for the restorative potion to be made, you get the joys of spending time with both your son as a tiny tot and Shichirou as he joins you for the day.

Naberius Kalego

Kalego courting human!reader☼

For Charity (xfemhuman!reader) ♣♪

When Sullivan throws a charity event for repairs due to the six fingers damage, you end up getting thrown into the auction so that some rich sod can get a date. Luckily, you had your own personal guard dog who comes to your rescue.

Thumping - (Naberius Kalego x GN!Reader) ♦

On Earth, it's common knowledge that when scratched correctly, a canine's leg will start uncontrollably thumping. Even with this in mind, you really didn't see coming that the Babyls 'Guard Dog' would have the same issue.

Cheating (Kalego x gn!reader)♪

As a teacher at Babyls, you had to go through and experience many things. Demon-eating plants on the loose, potion labs blowing up, and the many, many events that Babyls put on and almost always had something go wrong before you, the teachers, had to fix it. In the few years you had been there, you thought you had gone through it all, until now. For the first time ever, you had caught a student cheating.

Naberius Narnia

*Love Lost (x gn reader) Ⓐ ♪

The Naberius’s were the clan of unwaveringly loyal guard dogs. Each and every member was raised with the strictest guidelines and expectancies, and those who failed were disgraced. The latest members were the elder brother Narnia and the younger brother Kalego. Both excelled and will excel at every challenge thrown their way, until Narnia didn’t. One mistake led to a life of regret and a love lost. 

Narnia courting human!reader☼

Dance With Me (xfem!reader)♦

When Iruma becomes scared by "Fenrir", it isn't Amaryllis that comes to save him, but an unknown woman instead. An unknown woman who is quite unhappy with the way her partner is acting and isn't afraid to show who exactly is in charge in their relationship.

The Price of Freedom - request (Yandere!Narnia x fem!reader)Ⓐ

Narnia keeps you trapped on the property to keep you safe from the rest of the Netherworld and while his intentions are good he's doing more harm than intended. After all, humans are social pack animals meant to be able to roam about wild and free. And while there are exceptions to every rule, you are not one of them. So when you see a chance to leave, you take it. Leaving your heart behind but gaining your freedom in the process.

The Cost of Love pt. 2 (Narnia x fem!reader) ♪

As a runaway, you relished your newfound freedom after escaping from your possessive partner, Narnia. Exploring the Netherworld and forging new friendships, you grapple with profound loneliness, longing for Narnia's presence. Your world is turned upside down when you discover you're pregnant with Narnia's child, a cambion. Faced with this life-altering revelation, you must confront a heart-wrenching decision: return to Narnia, now a powerful political candidate in the Netherworld, or go it alone, going through an entire pregnancy and raising your unique child amidst the complexities and dangers of the Netherworld.

Opera

Bake Date (Opera x gn!reader)♦

Fresh from the human world, you can't help but feel out of place as the new lady of the manor. Far too used to having to take care of yourself and Iruma by doing everything from cooking and cleaning to working long hours in the hopes of giving him a better life, you felt rather disgruntled at having absolutely nothing to do. After all, your adoption into the Sullivan family meant getting a do-it-all family butler who refused to allow you to do anything even remotely based in those categories. However, in all these years you had actually grown rather fond of baking. 

And come hell or high water, you were going to enjoy the kitchen space again.

Any Relationship/Choose your own adventure

Hide and Seek (any demon x gn!reader)♦♣

Living anywhere was dangerous. Natural disasters, man or demon-made catastrophes, or something bigger and stronger than you comes along and decides you would make the perfect meal. A more than good enough meal that they are more than willing to chase, hunt down, and devour you whole.

Multi Relationship/Poly

A Holiday Treat ♪♣

Me and my friends are spiritual whores. Happy late holidays. Enjoy this filthiness.

No Relationships/General

Peppermint (gn reader) ♪

Living in the human world had meant learning tips and tricks to keep pests at bay while still enjoying small luxuries. Such as using lavender to deter bed bugs the one time you bought and forgot to clean a comforter at a thrift store, or peppermint around windows and doors to keep spiders outside. You hadn't known, of course, that such tricks could apply to pests in the Netherworld too. You couldn't decide whether you were happy or not to discover they did in fact do so. 

Boss B*tch - request (gn!neutral reader & Iruma)♦

When Narnia tries to put Iruma in his place, it ends up being him who is shot down instead. By you, Iruma's parent, who is none too pleased that an overconfident mutt hurt their baby's feelings. Luckily, if there is one thing humans are good at, it's mimicking that they are much more fearsome predators than they actually are.

Stories/Headcannons coming soon!

*Tittles and summaries are subject to change*

Misunderstandings - request (Balam Shichirou x fem!reader)♪

When Sullivan goes on the news to brag about his family after the events of Walter Park, he does a bit more damage than just turning the entire Netherworld's attention onto Iruma. He also brings their attention to you, as both the only childe of Sullivan and the unwedded mother of new hero Iruma. This would have been fine, if it wasn't for the numerous amounts of proposals and courtships you were being offered on the daily for the past several months now. This certainly would not do. Neither Sullivan nor Iruma were prepared for even the idea of letting you go to another. As such, operation protect the daughter/mother was a go.

Birthday Surprise (Shichirou x Kalego x intersex!reader) ♣♪

When you had agreed to venture over to Shihirou's house after work today, you certainly hadn't been expecting this. Between teaching, helping Shichirou with his research, and making sure no one discovered either your or Iruma's human status, it had been all too easy to forget. Luckily, you had two observant partners who were all too happy to remind you that it was your birthday.

Rutting Season - request (Schichirou x fem!reader)♣♪

The past few weeks, you had noticed your partner acting very odd. Constantly shadowing you when he wasn't in class, bringing about multiple gifts, and being extremely irritable to everyone but you. It's only when you find a book Clara left behind that you finally understand what's happening. Shichirou has entered a pre-rut. And he's courting you as a rutting partner.

Queen B*tch Pt.2 - request (gn!reader & Iruma)♪

When you told Iruma to prove that humans belonged to the demon world as well, you hadn't quite expected the Deviculum to go quite this south. First Baal runs his mouth and now a giant was wreaking havoc on what was supposed to be a ball. And all but one of these demons can do is panic and protect themselves, rather than working together to bring down the threat. Perhaps you would be showing Fenrir why humans were so feared after all.

Devi Stage (Narnia x chubbyfem!reader) (Love Stage inspired/parody) ■

When you are talked into attending a ball in Iruma's place, you meet Narnia, who is also attending as a security devil. When you get to talking and find you actually enjoy one another's company, you're both disappointed when you have to separate for the night and forget to ask for one another's numbers. Flash forward to the Deviculum in which you're attending with Iruma and Narnia receives the nasty shock at the revelation that you are in fact a human.

[razorblade180]

Ignited 5: Hidden Attack

Ch 4 <-

With no major distractions and vigor to spare, Yujin continued running through the Forever Fall, occasionally coming across pits with future peers trapped inside. She knew better than to completely tank her time but that didn’t stop her from snapping tree limbs and tossing it one at an angle.

“Climb it and then pay the favor forward!” She yelled as she ran. There was a high chance the others would follow the example. Maybe not for righteous reasons, but for the fact that they were all being recorded. No way they would pass if they were caught being too incompetent to escape a deep hole and ignoring others.

Jael kept watching the performance but in all honesty, it wasn’t much. Yujin hardly came across anything worthy of displaying real combat skills. Nevertheless, she watched. Several other contestants had made their way back to the beginning, including the boy in the fox mask. She was only familiar with the boy under it from last year’s departure. Why he was wearing a mask, she didn’t know. Wasn’t keen on asking why either. That was until he approached her to watch as well.

“Sup.” Tenzen said casually. “We really haven’t been properly introduced. My family knows your family and all that jazz. I’m Tenzen. Currently being called-”

“TZ.” Her gaze shifted to him slightly. “What’s with the mask?”

“Oh this old thing? Hehe, I’m a street performer that’s decently sized online.”

Jael vaguely remembers hearing that alias before. Her mind hasn’t been on many other hobbies or interests for awhile now. “That doesn’t make much sense. A group of people called your name earlier, so the mask isn’t hiding much.”

“Oh you misunderstand. People know me for my mask. Not my face. I came here pretty conspicuously but with all the eyes Yujin and her family drew, I went ahead and took some of the heat off.”

“Hmm.” Jael went back to focusing on the screens. “Lucky for her she has so many in her corner.”

Her tone was rather dry and lacking any enthusiasm. Even so, Tenzin got a weird vibe. He only really knew what Yujin told him about Jael. The girl definitely didn’t get out. Lack of communication was to be expected? “Looking for someone in particular? A friend maybe?”

“They already made it through after you. Watching your competition pays off.”

Okay, maybe her social skills were fine? He just wasn’t expecting her to be the super serious type. “That’s true. If you ask me though, nothing is more important than keeping yourself loose until the final moments. All rigid things snap under tension.”

“Or become compacted. Then they become the pressure others bear. But yes…your words have merit.”

“Yeah…” he trailed off, walking away to leave the girl to her own devices. “See ya around.”

“Probably.” Jael barely gave him the time of day. Although, he was pretty keen on the uptick. She made no effort to hide who exactly she was looking at on the monitor. It was a real shame she couldn’t see his face though.

Lilith watched the entire interaction from afar with Canary. She looked at her future teacher to see a level of scrutiny in her gaze. “Something the matter?”

“That girl rubs me the wrong way. It’s common for some people to be calm during examination, but unbothered? I can understand boredom; I definitely was. This though…”

“Maybe it’s your natural biases? Worried she has a grudge against half your family tree?”

“Pfft, depends on the half.” She crossed her arms. “Are you really telling me you don’t feel anything? I’ve been told you have quite the intuition.”

“It’s nothing worth bragging about.” Canary wasn’t wrong to feel tension though. From the looks of it, their esteemed guests were all operating on a different level of tension. “I’m not privy to the ins and outs of every single detail, but there’s definitely something in the air that’s dying to rear its face.”

“So you agree? Regardless, we can handle it. That I’m certain of.”

“Should we though?” Lilith raised a brow. She put her hands behind her back and cocked her head to the side.

“What does that mean?”

“I’ve noticed that despite this being your first time in a while being on this side of Remnant, you would rather speak to me more than the family you have several feet away. And when you do, it’s rather…peckish.”

“Umm, y-you’re point?” Canary wasn’t expecting Lilith to become suddenly off putting.

“You clearly have your own tension you could probably confront now, but like most clever people, you want to do it unimpeded. Correct?”

“I’m also working right now. This is sorta on the job training.”

“And this Jael girl is taking a test. I’m sure whenever she chooses to act, it’ll be on her terms. We could become hurdles much like this course, but there’s only a way around.”

“No offense, but it sounds like you’re content with watching.”

Lilith gave a full grin. “Isn’t that the job? Don’t forget, I’m still a student at the end of the day. Drama among peers is interesting; but don’t worry. Count on me to make sure nothing gets to the point of being irreversible.”

Her words didn’t exactly inspire confidence, but Canary couldn’t say she wasn’t interested. To think so many people around her had something more than meets the eye.

“I’d believe her words if I were you.” Glynda said, maintaining her gaze on the students and the paper she grades them on. “Lilith has an annoying way of being correct more often than not.”

The girl couldn’t help but giggle to herself as she placed her hands on her hips. “Why does it have to be an annoyance exactly?”

Canary could see why her cousin had a soft spot for Lilith. The girl had an odd but attractive personality about her. “Birds of a feather.” She mumbled, turning back towards the screens.

xxxxx

“Alley oop!” Yujin cried out, flinging a straggling beowulf into an incredibly thick wall. She had seen the obstacle back at the other wall, but now that she was up close she could tell an incredible punch would be pretty mediocre against it. Not to mention it was smoother than the last one.

“C’mon. We have a brain for a reason.” She looked both ways to see it stretch out forever. If there was an end, which there had to be, it would eat up too much time to get around it.

A few people she helped had immediately started to climb or even warp short distances up. It would’ve been nice if her kindness was returned in this moment, but Yujin knew it really is a matter of circumstance if anyone could help her. The more she thought out about the singular reality made her ponder if this test was also meant to give a pretty brutal insight of their shortcoming. “I’m in deep water now.” She groaned.

Years of not designing firearms into her weapon suddenly felt like a dumb idea. Tenzen probably rocket jumped! Oh well. No use crying over spilt milk. She had to think of something soon. That’s when a different problem arrived….

“HEEEELLLP!” Cried a girl that was no older than her. She came running out of the thicket and would’ve hit the wall if Yujin didn’t grab her.

“Wow wow wow! Why are you shaking!? The girl’s eyes were shaking with fear and her clothes were covered in mud.

“I- I can feel it! It keeps stalking me! Always getting closer! Eating the grimm!”

Yujin couldn’t believe her ears. A chill went down her back. “Eating?”

The girl nodded furiously. “We need everyone to leave! I’m not cut out for this! I’m only alive because I can feel it!” She tried getting out of Yujin’s grip but she wasn’t going anywhere. “Let go! It’s still stalking!”

“Slow down! What type of grimm!?”

“I don’t know! But it’s huge! The vibrations, I feel them! It’s my semblance!” The girl felt like she could die on the spot, eyes flooding with tears. “It’s getting closer!”

A semblance that involved vibrations. Yujin has been vigilant and she doubted the faculty would leave a grimm in the area too dangerous for a novice to kill. That only left one terrifying thought; Yujin looked down at the dirt. A second later, the minerals trembled more than the frightened girl.

“Shit.” Yujin tossed the girl sky high in the direction of the wall and onlooking participants. She was glad she acted when she did, because now the ground at her feet was gone; shattered to pieces as a massive Death Stalker came lunging out.

xxxxxx

“YUJIN!!” Yang yelled as she watched the screen in immediate horror.

Raven immediately grabbed her hilt but a golden portal opened with Lilith already dashing through it before Raven could draw the blade.

Lilith came sliding out with her auburn bow and drew the golden string back, ready to fire at the beast; her eyes widened in shock to see that while Yujin was in the right pincer, she wasn’t exactly in danger. “Wow…”

Yujin held both sides of the crackling claw open with pure strength. Lilac eyes glared into the many golden eyes of the monster as it tried clipping her with the left claw. Yujin was fortunately still quicker than it, hoisting herself out of its hold and jumping over the second attack. It’s tail flicked rapidly, prompting her to cross both her arms before taking a stab. However, as it struck, a blinding gleam of light flashed by them, severing the stinger. Yujin landed safely and turned her head left as she heard a tree thud. Standing on a branch was Jael sheathing her sword.

The young swordsman looked at the girl with indifference. “Shouldn’t you move now?”

“Uh right!” Yujin grabbed the huge stinger and jumped back. The Death Stalker tried to charge at her but immediately howled in agony as a barrage of arrows blinded several eyes.

It raised both claws to dig down again, yet found no dirt as it struck a glyph. Canary came diving out of the portal with Harbinger crashing down, cutting off a pincer before changing to scythe mode and raking through several legs. The beast only screamed louder until it was silenced, choked by a stinger that was beamed right into its mouth. Canary looked back to see Yujin still in a spear chucking stance. “Nice throw.”

The girl's eyes went back to blue as she took a breath and shrugged. “Yeah? Well y’know?”

Lilith saw the Grimm begin to fade so she turned her gaze to her future peers who looked from the wall, spotting the worried girl who was thrown. Looks like she was physically safe. “I trust all of you are physically well? Please continue and take this moment to understand where you are trying to get accepted into. With all that said…I apologize for this disruption.”

It was the first time today that Lilith actually sounded somber. It wasn’t her fault a Grimm this dangerous was hiding underground. Still, Canary doubts that fact would make her feel better. Instead she put attention on Jael. “Hey? While I appreciate a quick call to actions and am grateful you aided my family, I have to ask you to refrain from doing anything reckless. As talented as you might be, you’re not even a student.”

“Yet.” Jael added confidently. “The portal was opened right next to me. It only made sense to move in.”

Yujin smiled cheerfully. “Can’t argue with that. Not that I needed the save, but I appreciated it all the same! Thank you!”

“It’s nothing worth mentioning.”

Jael jumped down from the tree and made her way back to the portal. Yujin really didn’t think much of it. Jacquelyn did say that Jael needs her focus. Although with skills like hers, Yujin couldn’t imagine why. She didn’t even see the blade, only Jael putting it away. Definitely Adam’s kid.

“Soooo…” Yujin batted her eyes at the two people in charge. “Do I get to walk through the portal? I handled this situation pretty well after all.”

“Tah!” Canary scoffed, “So now you want special treatment. From what I heard, you didn’t even have to take this test since you got a recommendation letter! Sorry squirt, handle the wall!”

“Hehe… worth a shot. No big deal though. I have my ways.”

Canary and Lilith were planning to head back but watched curiously as Yujin made her way towards the wall with a fist raised to the sky!

“Lil? What’s the likelihood she’s about to break her hand on that wall?”

“You tell me. She’s your cousin. Also, Lil?” We’re onto nicknames already?”

Yujin took a deep breath before swinging downward. Not at the wall, but the ground right next to it and under her feet. The single blow was enough to rattle the ground, reducing the spot into rubble and making a crater. Yujin looked straight ahead and sure enough, it was nothing but more dirt ready to be obliterated.

More sounds of tremendous force shook the rock at Lilith’s and Canary’s feet. The former couldn’t help but laugh.

“Hahaha! Well that’s one way to do it! Points for creativity.” Lilith starts walking to the portal.

Canary followed her with a smile on her face. “You make it sound like she needs those points.”

They both returned to the starting area and Canary looked at her family to see that calm expressions returned to them. “I am amazed that no one else ran through the portal with the way you screamed.”

Yang’s face went completely red. “Well…you two missed the part where she caught the claw. After that I may have realized I may have shouted a little too loudly…” She kicked a rock.

Jaune was perfectly calm the entire time. “I knew she could handle it. I’ve caught her in the rain fighting bears before.”

“You mean…the Ursa’s on Patch?” Ruby asked, only to see her father, Jaune, and aunt sigh heavily.

“No.” They said in unison while Tenzen tried to keep it together. He may have a few ridiculous videos to share later.

Not long after, The girl of the hour came walking through the proper portal. Her gloves were covered in soil and she smelled like nature, but she was here.

“Wait…” she blinked twice, realizing where she was. “That was the last obstacle!? It just loops back here!?”

Glynda handed her a green slip of paper. “Congratulations on passing. You will move on to the final portion.”

“I would hope so after what happened! It feels like involuntary extra credit!”

“Welcome to Beacon.” Glynda smirked and walked away. Lilith gave a silent nod to Yujin that basically said, “yeah pretty much.”

With the stragglers arriving and the second portion coming to a close, Glynda gathered in front of the screens as the second group was soaring into view “Alright everyone, well done to those who have made it this far. You will be flown to the next and final destination where you will have a proper chance to recover, eat, and prepare for the next challenge.”

“Is that another lie?” Marcus asked, his voice drained of energy.

“A well deserved question, but an unnecessary one. I’m not in the mindset of deceptive word play, unlike certain people.” She looked at the two culprits. They didn’t even look guilty.

Yujin leaned closer to Tenzen. “I don’t think it was that deceptive.”

“Oh, yeah you missed the funny part. Apparently the people who chose to prepare in town didn’t fail. They’re on their way now.” He pointed to the distant airship.

The girl fell silent, blinking twice as she realized she hasn’t the foggiest clue about how they are being graded if the second group is about to run a used obstacle course. “Elite schools are insane.” Yujin raised her hand. “Headmaster?”

“Yes? Is something the matter?”

“I trust your words, but can we have a show of good faith? What is our final challenge exactly?”

Glynda raised a brow. “ It’s the same as it is every year. For confirmation of that, look no further to the alumni.”

The aspiring heroes turned to the adults. Ruby and Jaune casually took a step away from everyone. “Don’t look at us. We got in on special terms.”

“Tah! Special terms you say.” Glynda scoffed, specifically at Jaune. “Ms. Rose did indeed stop a crime. What was yours, Mr. Arc?” Her eyes narrowed, knowing exactly what he did.

Fortunately Nora was there to pull everyone’s attention. She raised her arm up and chanted, “Hahaha! Aptitude Sparring!”

Those like Yujin, Tenzen, and even Jael were actually aware of this, but it was clear many others found themselves caught off guard. Though the confirmation was reassuring to Yujin. In the grand scheme of events, this exam checked knowledge, practical environmental skills, and combat.

Glynda continued explaining to the crowd. “In this line of work, battles never stop at Grimm unfortunately. It only makes sense to see how you all go against people. I recommend you all take this seriously. You may find this challenge to be the hardest one yet. That is all.”

This is it. At last, this is it! A golden opportunity to face Yujin. Jael could barely contain her enthusiasm, which became increasingly evident with the way her hand gripped the hilt of her blade. Jacquelyn noticed this and couldn’t stand idly by.

“Jael…remember why you’re here.”

“I know exactly why I’m here.” She said immediately. “I would’ve come last year if I didn’t know why I personally chose to wait, and you know that too.”

“There’s a dozen reasons why last year’s plans fell through. A vendetta wasn’t one of them for me. If it was then I wouldn’t have trained you.”

“What’s with the virtuous act all of a sudden?” Jael faced her mother and looked her right in the eyes. “Why are you acting like you aren’t upset, or like you have no clue what my motivations are? I’ve made no effort to truly hide them; unlike my name.” The venom in her voice leaked through in those final words. “I’ve been nothing but patient and obedient. Are you saying it’s been for nothing?”

“I’m saying don’t let it be for nothing! You don’t even know if you’re facing her so stop getting worked up and don’t do something you’ll come to regret. I have no right to tell you to hold in your rage, but understand I will always fundamentally disagree with you if you choose to direct that anger harmfully. Don’t waste your future by being your father’s past.”

Jael’s eyes widened, her heart murmuring from the accusation. “I thought you would have more faith in your daughter. This isn’t anything like he’s done. I thought you of all people would understand remotely just what type of anger I have. However, unlike you, I won’t erase a bloodline.”

Jael walks off without looking back.”I’ll settle with the death of a dream.”

A quiet tension remained in the air. Jacquelyn didn’t even find the opportunity to bring the girl’s blade. She had unsheathed it for the sake of dealing with the grimm but something about it felt…unnatural. Almost as if she was rushing to put it away. The entire thing left Jacquelyn feeling more uneasy. For a moment, the carefully crafted mask Jacquelyn displayed began to slip as her eyes flickered. She took a deep breath, concealing the internal storm. Although now she wondered if the mask was of any use? It clearly wasn’t fooling her youngest. As for the oldest…

Jacquelyn let the air in her lungs escape mournfully. “Stay strong…”

xxxxxxx

It was a silent prayer but a prayer nonetheless that was meant for the girl who quietly sat in a hidden hospital room with her tear stained face resting on the bed; her soft eyes keeping their gaze on the man so still that you could mistake him for a corpse. Her stomach remained empty all day, and her strength only appeared to hold the man’s thin, frail fingers.

Her voice was dry and quiet, the same as it was countless years ago; back in that dark, dark place. “Dad, please…” once again, tears greeted her face and her vibrant white tiger ears fell. “Please…wake up.”

[chrissysluvr]

Missing You (1)

chrissy cunningham x fem!reader

your feelings for your ex-bestfriend come back as

you get partnered for a science project. will you

become close again, or maybe even more?

“lastly, chrissy and y/n. you all have the rest of the class period to start planning your projects! remember that it is due in a month, it’s quite a big project.”

you snapped back into reality when you heard your name getting called with chrissy’s. the teacher was making the class do a rollercoaster project, something to do with physics or whatever. the last thing you wanted was planned partners, especially your partner being the queen of hawkins high.

chrissy cunningham. your bestfriend (ex-bestfriend) since the fifth grade. you two had an inseparable friendship until you started drifting away the middle of sophomore year. it wasn’t that you hated each other, you two just blended into different social groups. it wasn’t a surprise the preppy blonde became a cheerleader and fit right in with the popular clique. everyone loved her for her kind personality and amazing academic ability.

at least that’s what chrissy thought. she didn’t notice that most people were just using her for any of her good traits. jason especially, using her looks to keep his reputation.

there was no way you would be able to tell her that. you ended up blending with the so called “outcasts.” this made your close friendship with eddie munson. he took you under his wing seeing you as a scared freshman being new to hawkins high. you didn’t mind your reputation being so low as you were glad to find new friends with common interests.

but you missed chrissy from time to time. it was junior year, so it hadn’t been very long since you two fell off. you missed the feeling she used to give you even if you denied it. you always thought it was how best friends should feel, but it wasn’t, and you had finally accepted that. you liked chrissy cunningham.

“y/n?”

you felt a gentle tap on your right shoulder and turned to see chrissy. hearing her soft voice say your name for the first time in a while made your heart jump, and a tight feeling began to form in your chest.

“hi.”

“hey.”

awkward silence took over what was an attempted conversation. you were looking down at your hands, fiddling with them as you always did. you felt the other’s eyes on you as you cleared your throat trying to spit something out.

“so, the project, do you have any ideas already?”

“i do, actually. it should be pretty easy, so we could finish it early if we worked on it enough.”

there was that high pitched voice you had missed so much. chrissy always sounded like that when she would be talking about something she was passionate or excited about. she continued to tell you her idea and both of you felt the awkwardness slowly fade away. you tended to not really pay attention in this class so most of what she was saying didn’t make sense. she could tell and stopped explaining.

“so, uh, i could head to the store after school and get some of the materials. is it alright if we work at your house?”

“yeah, that’s cool. my mom can ma-“

the bell rang and students quickly walked out of the classroom. before you could continue, jason stepped in and hugged chrissy from behind.

this made your stomach hurt and you grabbed your bag to leave.

“you have my number, just call me when you’re on your way.”

you began to walk out of the classroom hearing another one of jason’s insults. as expected, chrissy didn’t say anything. she was under jason’s control and couldn’t even tell.

“you good, y/n?”

“eddie, you’re not gonna believe what happened in physics.”

“shoot.”

“i got partnered with chrissy cunningham.”

eddie almost choked on his sandwich. he knew about your crush on chrissy and what happened to the both of you during sophomore year. he was one of the few accepting people in your life, and you loved him for that.

“ah shit, it’s just like one of those cheesy rom-coms at the family video.”

“yeah, except those rom-coms have straight people, ed. this isn’t going to be anything like them. and we’re working on the project at my house. she hasn’t been there in forever.”

the last time you remember chrissy being at your house was the summer before last school year. you and her stayed up watching all the movies you had rented, stuffing yourselves with a lot of junk.

“cmon, have faith. maybe you guys could become friends again. or maybe even moreee~”

eddie leaned into you making kissy lips as you both laughed, pushing him away. more of your friends came and he began talking to them while leaving you with your thoughts.

was this a sign for something? you and chrissy really could become friends again. there was a small part of you that really hoped you would. yeah, you appreciated eddie and the others. you had also made close friends with steve and robin since you went to the family video so much, but you weren’t as happy with them as you used to be with chrissy.

you continued eating lunch and talked to your group in an attempt to distract yourself from the situation. you shouldn’t be so worried, it’s just a project.

a project for a month, that hopefully as chrissy mentioned, you could finish early and go back to never speaking again.

it can’t be that hard, right?

[loveemagicpeace]

💙🌊🫧Life Events🎸🌙🦋

🤍Mars in 4th house people hardly post anything on social networks. They don't like to share their lives with others or worry too much about what others think. They can constantly worry when they publish something because they feel that they have exposed themselves. And they always make sure that what they publish is perfect.

♟When you have transit Mars in 4th house you will feel without energy or without the will to post anything on social networks or to share anything with others.

💕Chiron in 3rd house means that you can heal others through communication, conversation. It also means that you can help a lot of people by writing and publishing a book.

👀Capricorn or Saturn in 3rd house people can learn a lot from you, they take your words seriously. You can be a good teacher and your thoughts can be very developed. Many people, with this position, have a beautiful mentality (especially those who have saturn 3rd house)

💙Pluto in 11th house has hard time keeping friends. It's like you never find the right person and you always have friends who betraly you. Also people that are close to you can be the one that wish you bad. They can be jealous of you, or on your success, of what you have. They will want to take your power away.

🧳Capricorns don't talk about their feelings mainly because they don't like to burden others with them. And if you give them the feeling that they are annoying, they will immediately withdraw.

🦩Tauruses keep people, friends, relationships and in general things in life and do not like to change them. And because they stubbornly persist and fight for people this is why they always keep people in their lives for a very long time or even forever. While Scorpios are prone to change and their circle of people is constantly changing.

🫀Neptune in 1st house many times idealizes other people's personalities or their appearance. You think someone is like that, but they're not. At the same time, you have a lot of expectations and then you are disappointed.

✨🌙Someone who has a lot of aquarius placements or stellium and then it all falls into his water house can actually changes the person's personality.

💕Uranus in 1st house you can often feel like you don’t belong anywhere or with anyone. You meet people, but you feel like they are not the people for you. But the catch here is that you should belong to yourself. You don't need to belong to anyone but yourself. Because Uranus represents where we feel we belong the most. And in this house we belong to ourselves.

🥏11th house rule by Aquarius and social media but in reality aquarius don’t even like social media that much and they prefer not to have a social network or resist it.

🫀🌃Composite chart sun in scoprio in 9th house-> can share deep psychological conversations & can travel to different places. You two can be passionate about the beliefs that you share. Both can transform beautifully through this relationship and find the bright spots in the darkness. I also think that both of you can experience emotionally and intensely the places you visit together. You will always find common inspiration in places, new things.

🍓Jupiter transit in 9th house means you will take a break from work. This also means that you can go on a big trip or a trip that you have wanted for a long time. Your beliefs begin to change.

⚖️7th house represents justice, law, this means that many planets in this house indicate a person who is inclined to justice and fights for justice. Also, you can spend a lot of time in the courts and are more inclined to do so.

-Rebekah🫀🦋🫧

[femmesandhoney]

Speaking of academics, genuinely Speaking, why are there less women in STEM in the west ?.

They don't need to be encouraged. There's nothing preventing them from pursuing these subjects especially in uni when you get to decide your major. I didn't feel any discouragement going into engineering. So I'm just curious here

You are not correct in the assumption that there is "nothing" preventing women from pursuing STEM degrees nor that women do not need encouragement to enter these fields. The article did an efficient job laying it out, but if you're not in the mood it's quite simple: American culture is misogynistic and it is systemically so. Everyone from your parents, your peers, your teachers, your community leaders, the things you see in media and read about, will implicitly and explicitly negate the idea of women going into STEM fields. It's gotten marginally better as our culture has recognized that, hey, maybe we should encourage and show little girls that they can be scientists and mathematicians too, but it's very difficult when so many people and institutions have these implicit biases in place. We're doing better, but it's not a surprise that many girls can not even picture a career in the STEM field, many do not think that's even an option, it's never crossed their minds even if they have an interest in the topic. We do not socialize our girls into these fields as strongly as we should be if we want to see any form of difference. By middle and high school, most women do not envision careers in STEM fields for many reasons, including teacher and parent biases that have pushed them away from STEM subjects, peers being unpleasant, and general insecurity girls begin to develop around science and math around this time.

Of course then comes the fact that these fields and majors are openly hostile towards women. A woman in my poli sci class spoke about how she feels very uncomfortable speaking out in her natural res classes because of the type of men and dominance of men in her major/classes. She said she felt a huge difference and weight off her shoulders coming into our female dominated class to discuss women in politics and be able to freely discuss the misogyny she has experienced by men in her classes and her field in general. This is a very common expectation women hold: the men in the STEM field are often misogynistic assholes. And women do not feel comfortable in their environments. This often will push women away from picking these majors or continuing them.

Not even the mention what comes post-graduation, the article discusses the slog of discrimination women both expect and frustratingly deal with when trying to make a name for themselves in the STEM field where they are 1) paid less than men with the same qualifications and 2) are not seen as qualified in general on the sheer basis of being a women. Implicit (and explicit, depending on the person and environment) biases are very strong in our cultural attitudes and beliefs about women and STEM. And women are not stupid, most do not wish to fight against that uphill battle when they see success elsewhere. I admire the women who are very passionate about their STEM career and fight tooth and nail against misogyny to continue with it, because it is very difficult being in an environment that is dominated by men who are hostile, sexist, and do not see you as deserving of your place in the field no matter what you do. I have a friend who graduated last year in chemical engineering. She had been passionate as hell about her career in chemical engineering since high school, and she was a very smart and charming women. She knew since high school that she was going to have to prove herself time and time again to the men around her both in college and post. She was a bit excited about it actually because she was very confident in her intelligence and rightfully so. She excelled in her degree of course, but she definitely had her challenges dealing with many men and certain professors. I'm very proud of her for sticking through the bullshit she dealt with at times, and I also would have understood if she had gotten burnt out from it all and changed majors. I'm glad you yourself anon felt no discouragement from engineering and had positive people around you in your life, but many women do not and have had very negative experiences that inform their decisions around STEM. I hope this answer and the article could help lightly explain it better, because not every women in America has had such positive experiences.

[mothguillotine]

II.

On your first week of school, you truly tried your best to be a good teacher, took house points and gave them, and gave numerous talking to’s. Many of them are to Ron’s older brothers, Fred and George. They had a tendency to pull devious pranks throughout the school. One time you found them attempting to pour a whole bunch of water in the hall with the intent of freezing it so people would slip and fall. Each time you found them outside of class and today was like no other. 

Walking down the hallway you see the two of them huddled together looking at a piece of parchment, on which was a map of the school with names of students and teachers. Your eyes find Harry, Hermione, and Ron first. They are by themselves, definitely not in class, with another person, a student you assume.

“Ahem,” you clear your throat to which they turn around, “shouldn’t you boys be in class?”

“Yes, you are completely right mam’,” one of them says, while the other slips the map into his robes, to which you pay no mind. 

“Go back to class before I take any house points,” you tell them. 

Knowing that your aunt would never answer your questions truthfully, you look for them alone. Newspaper clippings you found were the only reliable thing really. Many of the names on the back of the picture were no longer alive or worse. The main concern you drew from the news clippings was Sirius Black. He had betrayed Harry's parents ultimately getting them killed and then proceeded to kill twelve muggles and a wizard named Peter Pettigrew. The name you recognized from the back of the photo.

Throughout the beginning of the year, you could only focus on getting answers and your students but now you had read everything there was and your only escape from the halls of Hogwarts is your weekend trips to Hogsmeade. The fresh air made you forget your worries, only if for a bit. It was nice to visit each of the small shops each week and drink at the tavern as well.

On a brisk day sometime in mid-October you visit the village. As always you visit the shops, socializing with the owners and making your purchases. Nearing the end of the day you see something peculiar on your way to the tavern for your weekend butterbeer, a dog. Not just any dog but the one you would see frequently around Hermione's cat, Crookshanks. You watch as he stalks in the shadows and moves briskly towards the tree line after a moment. 

After a few weeks, you allow yourself to let go of any questions you may have because there is nothing else to read or learn from. While you were so absorbed in your research you hadn't realized that Halloween was this weekend. You missed celebrating Halloween, all of the pumpkin carving, trick or treating, and of course dressing up. Each day leading up to Halloween the third years became increasingly excited, as that day was the first time they could go to Hogsmeade. 

You were also excited because you planned on staying back this weekend to grade in the library, which was usually full of students, and was sure to be nearly empty. On Sunday most of the students leave to visit the village in their non-school clothes. You go to the library which as expected has only a few students in it as well as the librarian, Madame Pirce. As the day passes you grade students quizzes, many of whom do not understand how to properly label a plant diagram. 

As you finish grading all of the work you resign yourself to your room for the night, on the way up the stairs you hear a ruckus. It's coming from the Gryffindor dormitory and by the sounds of it, it’s not good. As you rush up the stairs so do more students, blocking your view of the situation. When you finally push your way through the mass of students, some of whom were not even in Gryffindor, you see it. The portrait that is the entrance for the students has giant tears through the canvas, the woman who is usually the guard, is gone. Not good. 

“Keep calm, everyone,” Percy says, “Ravenclaws, back to your common room.”

You usher the Ravenclaws down the stairs and see Dumbledore and Finch coming up to investigate. Some of the Ravenclaws keep looking back, full of curiosity.

“Come on,” you tell them, “It’s none of your concern.”

After you return the Ravenclaws to their rooms you find out what happened. Sirius Black was here, in the castle. Really not good. That night the Gryfindors are barred entry from their dorms, instead sleeping on cots in the Great Hall. 

That night you look again at the picture and in it, you find a young man. He doesn't look as though he could be a mass murderer, he looks charming and handsome. But you suppose that's how some people get their victims.  At a quidditch match not long after Halloween Harry got severely injured. You stood next to Ron and Hermione, excited to see him play in a game for the first time. 

“Go, Harry!” Hermione shouts as Harry whooshes by on his broom, “Go, Harry!”

You all watch as he narrowly misses a downed broomstick, cheering when he escapes it narrowly. Then he flies past the viewing towers, outside of the arena. He flies up into the clouds chasing the Slytherin seeker chasing the snitch. 

“I hope he's okay!” you shout to his best friends over the sound of cheering.

“Me too!” Ron shouts over Hermione, who gives him an annoyed look.

You all return your attention to the game until you see Harry falling from the sky. You nearly miss it, too focused on the game until Ron shouts, “Harry!”

Harry is luckily saved in the nick of time and taken to the infirmary. Where you and some of his teammates, as well as Ron and Hermione are all gathered. Madame Pompfry is non too pleased to have so many people in the room but allows it given you are there as well to keep them in line. 

“He looks a bit peaky doesn't he?” Ron asks.

“Peaky?” “What’d you expect?” Fred and George ask at the same time.

“He fell over a hundred feet,” Fred says.

“Yeah, come on Ron,” George says, backing up his twin, “let’s walk you off the astronomy tower and see what you look like.”

“Probably a right sight,” Harry says groggily. “Better than he normally does.”

Everyone laughs at this, “Guys, give him some space,” you laugh.

“Thank you, Professor Figg,” Harry says sincerely and everyone backs away except Hermione, who continues to sit on the side of the bed.

“How are you feeling?” she asks.

“Oh, brilliant,” he says sarcastically.

“A right good scare there, mate,” 

“What happened?” Harry asks.

“Well… you fell off your broom,” Ron says.

“Really?” Harry asks, “I meant the match. Who won?”

Hermione stands off the bed, “Um… no one blames you, Harry. Dementors aren’t supposed to come inside the grounds. Dumbledore was furious. As soon as he saved you, he sent them straight off.”

The following weeks at Hogwarts were full of security and terror. But as the weeks passed, people soon forgot, instead focusing on happier things, such as the impending winter break. Snow had started to gather this morning and it had been clear this was here to stay. Even though you still had a month left until many students went home you could sense the unrest. 

Grabbing the book that you had been reading you make your way to the Great Hall to eat dinner. The end of the day was welcome to you as had been the upcoming weekend. You were starting to feel burnt out and a little time away from the castle was much needed.

The following day you head down to Hogsmeade like usual the day is a welcome distraction from the confusion of your personal life. While the day started like no other during your walk to the tavern you felt a pair of eyes watching you. While the bright Christmas lights strung up around the village lit the street it did very little for the shadows beyond the multicolored lights. You take out your wand and walk over to the darkness. As you slowly approach you can't help but second guess yourself, you were not an Auror, you couldn’t fight, but as much as you wanted to turn back you persisted, drawing further away from the light and into the dark. 

“Lumos,” you say facing your wand into the darkness which is soon filled with light from your wand. The pair of eyes you immediately identify as a large dog, the same one you had seen with Crookshanks. As much as you want to relax, after all, it’s just a dog, but you can’t help but feel as though the dog isn’t quite right. Their eyes seemed too human for your liking but before you could continue studying the dog, it runs off into the woods. You decide to chase after the dog, running through the snow and into the woods with your wand handy.

The light that illuminates from your wand pushes the shadows of the forest back and shows you the trail the dog left in its wake. Following the trail you arrive at a clearing in the woods and you can see your target, you quickly flick your wand and the light shuts off. In the clearing, the dog seems to stop for a second and you hide behind a tree. Your heart is beating fast and you can't understand why. It's just a dog… right?

You peek your head out from the side of the tree, the dog seems to be pacing. Rays of light peak through the canopy of trees bouncing off the snow, almost glowing. The dog continues to go back and forth, maybe you had overreacted. Now absolutely nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary with the dog. Still, you can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong. Watching the dog for a bit longer you nearly convince yourself to leave, the keyword being almost. Just as you are about to turn away you watch in horror as the dog transforms into the most wanted man at the moment and not in a good way, Sirius Black. Now you knew you had to get out of there not only for your protection but Harry’s as well. You had to warn him, you had to warn everyone. 

As you turn you suddenly step on a branch, you had thought things like this only happened in horror movies, but a loud *CRACK* comes from under your foot. You turn only to find the man already behind you, so he simply takes your wand from your hand.

“Listen,” you tell him backing away, “I really don’t wanna die, I have so much to live for.”

“Who are you?” he asks.

“I- I'm a professor at the school,” you say continuing to back away to which your foot catches on a root. As you fall back he quickly grabs your arm and saves you from injury. Which is strange, you stop and think for a second. Why didn’t he attack you? Like right away? Why hasn’t he attacked anyone yet? That what you would expect from an insane person is just violence with no reason.

“I’m gonna confess that I am very confused right now,” you tell him, “I’ve been told you are a crazed killer but- that just doesn't make any sense. I’ve seen you with Hermione's cat on campus and you have had opportunities to attack.” 

You look at him confused, both of you standing much too close to each other. “Why haven't you?”

“I didn’t do it.”

You had read all of the newspaper articles, you knew that he professed his innocence until they sent him to Azkaban. Maybe the truth wasn't so black and white as you once believed. 

“Who did?” you ask him.

“Peter Pettigrew,” he says with venom lacing his voice.

“I thought he died?” you ask him.

“No, he is at the school this very moment,” he tells you.

“What do you mean?” you ask him, “Surely someone would recognize him.”

“He is the rat,” he tells you, which you don't quite get at first.

“Well, I know he is a rat he killed twelve muggles and got Harry’s parents killed,” you exclaim.

“No, I mean he is literally a rat,” he tells you.

“Oh, oh fuck, he's an animagus?” you say quietly to which he nods, “How do you know?”

“The Daily Prophet,” he says, “There was a picture and I recognized him instantly.”

You suddenly remember Ron telling you all about how his family was in the paper, you remember seeing the newspaper. Ron was proud of the accomplishment and even more proud of the fact that his pet rat, Scabbers, was in the picture as well.

“Yeah, I think I know where he is,” you tell him, “One of Harry's best friends has a pet rat of course, who has had an unusually long life span of twelve years.”

“What did you say your name was?” he asks you.

“Oh, I don't think I said,” you tell him, “y/n Figg.”

“Are you related to Arabella Figg?” he asks you, looking a bit surprised.

“I was adopted by her older sister after I was born, my Aunt Sylvia,” you tell him, “My mom died right after I was born, I never knew her.”

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” he consuls, “I wish I could have been there for Harry when he lost his parents, alas I was locked up.”

“Harry is truly wonderful,” you tell him, “he and his friends get into so much trouble together, despite everything he has gone through he is just such a sweet kid.”

“I’ve seen him around,” Sirius says sadly, “he looks just like his father.”

“Do you want me to tell you about him?” you ask.

“More than anything,” he responds.

So you do, that night you both sit on a log and you tell him about Harry and his life. Everything that you know about him you spill. How he did in class last year made him smile, hearing that he and his friends would commonly sneak off looking for trouble made him realize just how similar he was to his father. You told him about Harry’s fight with the basilisk as well, he looked horrified that he would put himself in danger but had a hint of pride on his face. As time passed and it grew later and later you realized that you would have to leave soon.

“I’m sorry but I have to go,” you tell him standing, “I will come back next weekend with some new clothes and some food.”

“What?” he asks, “You don't have to do that.”

You look him up and down, “Trust me you do. Anyhow, do you want me to bring scissors so I can cut your hair?”

“Uh, sure,” he says to you.

“Okay, Saturday next week,” you tell him beginning to walk in the direction you came from.

“Miss Figg?” he calls to you, “Won’t you need this?”

You turn around and realize he still has your wand. Embarrassingly you walk back over to him and grab the wand, “Thank you.”

<Previous Part/Next Part>

Masterlist

[timemachineyeah]

Watching the latest hbomberguy video. And this Tom guy is making me think of so many people I have met, especially in the entertainment industry. They are a Type. There’s one in Toonmakers Sailor Moon pilot video too. Honestly sometimes Trump comes across this way. Not just men, though I do think it might be more common among cis men. Especially white privileged ones.

But you know them. The ones that lie about cool they are. That can’t help but lie about their own achievements even when the truth is staring them in the face. Like, I can think of half of a dozen I have met over the years in my life. A friend’s brother, an old boss, a teacher at my school who even the staff seemed exhausted of…

People go “that’s narcissism” or “compulsive lying” and listen, I’m not saying there’s not a neurodivergence underlying some of this behavior. Also potentially traumas or a need for introspection and therapy. I’m also not saying there is. This isn’t about that.

This also isn’t about the social/cultural/political environment that might foster the kinds of anxieties or expectations that contribute. I am not seeking to explain or diagnose this pattern of behavior. I don’t care if it’s psychological, sociological, or just being an asshole. That’s not the point.

The point is: it has always made me deeply uncomfortable. Not just angry or manipulated or whatever. But, like, secondhand embarrassment? Firsthand embarrassment? Unsettled in horror movie way? And I used to attribute that solely to, like, it’s desperate for approval, isn’t it? And I was willing to let that be the end of it. But that always felt incomplete.

No, I think the thing that makes me uncomfortable is, it feels like, to me, it feels like they’re daydreaming??? Like they are playing out their fantasy version of their life, the cooler one the rest of us (or, me at least) just privately pretend to have and never share with anyone.

Like who hasn’t listened to a song they love on repeat and pretended they were on stage singing it and pretended it was their song and they wrote it. Like, I do that. Maybe I’m weird. But I think lots of people do that. When I was a teenager I used to fantasize I had a double life when I was on school breaks, working in New Zealand for the Lord of the Rings movies. All the actors and writers were my best friends. And obviously I provided tremendous insight to the project and it really depended on me. But I didn’t tell anyone at school for convoluted daydream reasons.

But like, as much as I can vividly bring back the fine details of that fantasy (and how, while it had been a secret, it wouldn’t be secret any more when all the hottest members of the cast showed up to my school to take me to an awards show with them), this is the first time I’ve ever told anyone else about it, because why the fuck would I?

“I often pretend I am more interesting and important than I really am” is so common as to be dull. And also has a reputation for being childish. And also it’s not cool to want to be cool. And also if you say your wish out loud it can’t come true. But regardless of why, I don’t tell people about my daydreams. And I think that’s true of most people. Rich fantasy lives are common and largely never shared.

But when I watch the people with this particular quirk and feel kind of awful in this visceral way - I think that’s the thing that’s off-putting to me. It feels so private. I recognize myself in the behavior, in that, in my very silly daydreams, I too have done great things and made notable contributions that are far beyond the truth of my life. But to me those things are so secret. They are the most private of private thoughts.

When I watch these people talk, it feels like they are LARPing that same kind of self-indulgent fantasy world, in their real life. And simultaneously I feel like I’m invading someone’s privacy and like they’ve coerced me into something I didn’t agree to. They’ve cast us in their LARP, and they are gonna play out their fantasy version of their life, and made it awkward or dangerous for anyone to ruin it for them.

And so on top of all the many other very good reasons to not enjoy listening to that kind of self-serving lying, I get to hate it for secret bonus reasons of Immense Psychological Discomfort stemming from ???? associations my brain makes with the act of daydreaming ????

[beardedmrbean]

Helsingin Sanomat is among the papers reminding readers that the national economy and daily life will be severely hit by tens of thousands of employees walking off the job this week.

Trade unions are taking industrial action to protest against revisions to labour market legislation and social security cuts already in the pipeline as part of the programme of Petteri Orpo's (NCP) government.

The action now starting is one of the largest political strikes in Finnish history.

A particular feature of this wave of strikes, the paper notes, is that it includes a large number of unions representing highly educated white-collar workers.

The majority of the strikes have been called by the Central Organisation of Finnish Trade Unions SAK and the Finnish Confederation of Professionals STTK. Their member unions do not accept the changes to the law planned by the government, because they believe that the government's measures increase inequality in society, weaken the position of workers and hit lower income groups and the unemployed in particular.

Different unions have different positions on which government measures they are most opposed to.

The SAK and STTK unions oppose, among other things, restrictions on the right to strike, the plan to suspend pay for the first day of sick leave and cuts to unemployment benefits. They especially object to measures which they view as attacks on low-income earners and the trade union movement.

Unions have have slightly different ambitions about what they want to achieve with the strikes, but Helsingin Sanomat points out that their common goal is to get the government to negotiate seriously with labour market organisations on any cuts.

Five questions

Helsingin Sanomat also looks at five practical questions about the strikes from the employees' perspective.

Do you have to go on strike?

There is no obligation to go on strike. It is up to everyone to decide whether to take part or not.

However, trade unions expect both their members and other workers to take part. At some workplaces, employees who show up to work will be met with picketers attempting to talk them into joining in.

Do you have to tell your employer if you are going on strike?

Employees do not have to inform their employer if they intend to take part in a strike.

Can the employer ask if you intend to go on strike?

Employers are allowed to ask employees whether they intend to go on strike. Some employers do this to find out in advance whether they will be able to operate on the day of the strike. An employer may not put pressure on anyone to come to work during a strike.

Will wages be paid during the strike?

The employer does not have to pay wages during the strike.

Trade unions pay strike allowances to their members who take part in the strike. The amount allowance varies from union to union.

For example, the Industrial Union and Trade Union Pro are paying a gross strike allowance of 100 euros per working day to members on strike. The teachers' union OAJ will pay a strike allowance of 180 euros per working day to early childhood education employees.

How can you walk off the job if you're telecommuting?

As HS points out, marching out of the workplace is a fairly straightforward concept, but how are you supposed to walk off the job if you're working from home?

The Professionals of Business and Technology union has have given their members a simple answer to that one – "Turn off your work computer".

Heavy losses

Economic and business daily Kauppalehti reports that the impact of this week's strikes on the national economy and on exports will be magnified by their wide-ranging effect on industry and the transport and logistics sector, including ports.

It writes that the Confederation of Finnish Industries EK estimates that the direct and indirect effects of Thursday's and Friday's strikes will result in a total loss of around €360 million in GDP.

The strikes will affect businesses in very different ways. Some of the biggest losses will be incurred by the oil refining and marketing company Neste.

Henri Parkkinen, senior analyst at the OP Group, estimates that the loss of earnings caused at a strike at Neste's oil refinery in Porvoo on 1-2 February will be will be between 3 million and 5 million euros per day.

A million votes up for grabs

Savon Sanomat is among the morning papers carrying an STT news agency feature about the large number of voters who will have to choose a new presidential candidate after their favourite lost out in the first round of the election on Sunday.

There are more than a million voters across Finland who cast ballots for Jussi Halla-aho (Finns), who came third, or Olli Rehn (Centre/independent), who came in fourth.

The largest number of voters whose favourite lost out is in the voting district of Uusimaa – over 166,000. More than 100,000 potential votes are also up for grabs in Oulu, Pirkanmaa, Vaasa and Southeast Finland.

Interviewed by STT, regional Finns Party and the Centre Party leaders said that they expect their ranks to shift support to both the National Coalition Party's Alexander Stubb and the Greens' Pekka Haavisto who is running as a voters' association candidate. However, none endorsed a candidate, saying the their members will make their own choice.

Jari Immonen, chair of the Finns Party's Uusimaa district told STT that he estimates that Stubb could get 60 percent and Haavisto 30 percent of the votes cast for Halla-aho in the first round. He expects the rest to abstain.

Tuomo Suihkonen, the head of the Centre Party's Uusimaa district, was unable to say which of the candidates is the stronger favourite among his party's voters.

There are likely to be regional variations in support, however.

Centre Party leaders in North Savo and North Karelia expect both candidates to get votes, but they do not believe that Centre voters will automatically cast their ballots for Stubb, as Haavisto also has strong support. The way the candidates talk about eastern Finland, its economy and security will matter a lot, they say.

"Strong and resolute"

Iltalehti reports a telephone conversation on Wednesday between Finland's President Sauli Niinistö and President Volodymyr Zelenskyy of Ukraine.

In a posting on the messaging platform X after the call, Zelenskyy publicly thanked Niinistö for his personal contribution to Finland's support for Ukraine.

"This support includes two dozen military assistance packages and Finland's strong support to Ukraine with NATO integration and in strengthening international support," Zelenskyy continued.

In addition, Zelenskyy said he is confident that cooperation will continue to be fruitful with the next President of the Republic of Finland.

Niinistö, whose term of office ends on 1 March, thanked Zelenskyy in return for their conversation and wrote, "Finland’s support for Ukraine remains strong and resolute."