#oh gee wiz

[extravalgant]

title: river break me so i can heal

relationships: player character (the wizard) & duncan grimwater

summary: it had been some time since you had seen his face. and it had been a while since he had tried to kill you.

notes: oookay fair warning. possibly ooc for duncan? but also i sacrificed a bit of that in sake of getting the story across better. i mention this in my ao3 notes but i also think the wizard and duncan parallel each other to an extent... the context is also mentioned at the end notes for what i was thinking throughout this process. but anyways

>> READ ON A03 <<

Without another word, Duncan wraps his arms around your shoulders, pulling you into a bone crushing hug. And it is a hug, alright – just not a very good one. Your nose smashes into his shoulder painfully, and it would almost be enough to break you out of your crying spell, had you not been caught off by the sudden movement. 

This is… the first time you’ve ever gotten a hug. Actual human contact. His touch sends a soft ache spreading through your chest - a sweet warmth that your brain recognizes as affection. Security. The need to make you feel safe. 

It’s the hug of someone who has never hugged before – truly, if you were going to be honest, it was probably one of the worst hugs you have ever experienced; Duncan’s form is awkward, arms just a bit too tight and angled weirdly. 

You realize that he’s hugging you out of his own volition - that he wanted to let you know that he cared about you. And it’s the thought of someone comforting you, rubbing your back (which he is doing, albeit the motions feel stilted), that makes the bubble in your throat grow, chokes your own words out of your mouth, makes you cry even harder. 

Your hands clutch the back of his robes, clenching it between your fists as if he would disappear if you ever let go. You want to say something, hug him back, offer support, but you can’t. Your tongue feels like cotton, and your brain blanks out on the words needed to speak. Just the thought of someone hugging you was enough for another round of tears to leak through, and after everything you’ve been through crumbles in a matter of seconds.

“Run away with me.”

The words are flying out of his mouth before he knows it, before he even has a chance to logically think.

Run away? To where? Duncan wasn’t dumb enough to think that whatever calamity crawls out of the darkest parts of the spiral would simply stop because the Wizard wasn’t going to take care of them.

Even so, he doesn’t take back his words. They hang heavy in the crisp, muggy air of Triton Avenue. A storm rumbles above his head, and the thunder almost serves as a warning; a sign from Raven – to take back what he said or he would regret it. Regret trying to take her champion.

He knows you must feel his heart thudding fast and hard in his chest, arms still wrapped securely around your shoulders. Your face is still tucked in between the juncture of his neck and shoulder, and your hands are still clawing into his robes–it doesn’t hurt, by any means, but he’s caught off guard at how surprisingly.. clingy you are.

He wonders if you heard what he said.

“Did y—”

“I heard you.” You cut him off. Your voice is quiet and soft, but has a rough and scratchy quality to its tone that had been heightened from your crying session. 

There’s another agonizingly slow moment of silence, and in it, Duncan feels the gentle rustle of the wind brush over your figures. He never quite believed Suzie or Artur when they told him that Triton Avenue was cold, but the wind brings a chill that he can’t quite blame necromancy for. 

And when you speak, this coldness sinks further into his stomach.

“I can’t.”

“You can’t?” Duncan furrows his brows. "What do you mean you can't?"

When you pull back away from his chest, the descent is slow–like molasses. You don’t see a point in being discreet as you wipe the remaining tears away from your eyes, for he had seen it all, and sucked in a sharp breath. And when you meet his gaze, your eyes are red-rimmed and bright.

For a moment, the breath catches in his throat.

“I can’t.” You emphasize, this time. Your voice is more even than it was before. It sounded like the Wizard he recognized, and not the one that had been bawling into his robes moments ago. “I have responsibilities.” 

“Are you dumb?” Duncan says, and he can’t amend the way it comes out of his mouth–clunky and harsh, like a hammer striking iron. “It’s killing you! Look at you!”

He grabs your shoulders as he says this, and the touch is almost too much to bear with something like this. 

“I’m aware.” Your voice is bitter as you spit out the reply, but there is no denying the exhaustion in your voice. “I… don’t have a choice.” 

Duncan’s lips press into a thin line. 

“I just can’t.” You repeat, and a watery tone edges your words. “I have duties, I’m… I’m a savior now. There’s no room for what I want and my desires. They wouldn’t let me.” 

“‘They’?” Duncan quirks an eyebrow. 

He sees the way your gaze drifts over his shoulder, eyes glazing as if searching for something off in the distance. He thinks you must have found it, the way your pupils dilate, and stare for a long time.

“I used to think it was just Raven and Spider.” Your voice dips into something quieter, whispy. Like this conversation was just for him.  “There’s something else out there. I’ve never seen it, or heard it, or.. smelled it. I can only… feel it.” 

Duncan takes a chance to glance behind him, following your gaze—he expects to see a figure at least, and it only furthers his confusion about the entire thing. 

It must be his eyes playing tricks on him, because he does see it—a vague shape. A human-like figure.

He blinks and it’s gone.

“As fun as running away sounds,” Your voice brings him back to the present, back to your now neutral expression. “I don’t have a choice. Truly.” 

Really, there are more silences now than you care to admit, and it’s only when you make the decision to stand does he know your final answer. It doesn’t stop you from holding out your hand to help him up from the wet, muddy ground, and it doesn’t stop him from taking it. 

And even when all is said and done, you’re still grasping each other’s hands. Your fingers press against the pulse of his wrist, which beats heartily underneath your touch. 

“We could go somewhere new.” Duncan says. He doesn’t want to admit that he sounds desperate. Lonely. “The spiral is big. We could find some place where they don’t need us. Where no one ever gets the chance to take advantage of us.”

You can’t help the smile that breaks across your face, bleeds into your voice. It sounds too good to be true, even for you. “Oh?” 

“We don’t have to stay wizards. We could even swallow our pride and become pirates!” 

“You love necromancy, Duncan.” You say, and he does. He does. With every bit of his mind, body, and soul. “I’ve heard rumors on the shore that they’ve outlawed all magic. It would kill you.” 

His lip curls. 

“Admittedly, it would kill me, too.” Your hand slowly slips from his. “Even throughout all these years… I’ve come to love magic far too much to let it slip out of my fingers.” 

“...Will you come back?”

Duncan’s voice is far too vulnerable for his liking–it had only been today that he expressed his feelings of ostracization, of needing to feel wanted. He had made his first, real friend and it had been you, the one he had been previously sent to get rid of.

He doesn’t want to see you go if it means there’s a chance you won’t return.

Still, a smile spreads across your face at that question.

“Of course.” You say. “Nothing’s killed me yet—I consider that sign enough that I’m on the right path.”

You pause.

“And I want you to come with me.”

He’s not sure if he heard you right. Either that, or this was your idea of a prank. 

Or you’ve finally lost it.

“Do you hear yourself?” Duncan says, because he finds himself reeling. Of course he wants to join you—but also, are you crazy? The blood is roaring loud in his ears. “This is—this isn’t even my journey to go on!” 

“Who cares?” You reply, and he both hates and loves how flippant you’re being about the entire thing. “I didn’t exactly get the wizarding book of rules when I first got here. We’ll be fine, I think.” 

“I couldn’t even beat you!” 

“To be fair,” You say, and the smile on your face is a little bit too cocky for someone like you—someone meant to uphold the pedestal of light wasn’t meant to look so smug. “No one has been able to beat me yet. I can protect you, if that’s what you’re worried about.” 

“I’m not worried about that!” He hisses out, but there is a semblance of an embarrassed flush creeping over his features. “And besides, I can take care of myself!” 

“Then we don’t have any problems.” 

There’s a long moment where he just—stares at you. Like he’s trying to figure out your goal for this, your angle. 

“....Why?” 

He feels conflicted. He feels lost. And most of all, he feels confused. Was one, heartfelt conversation all it took to get on your good side? It’s no wonder why anyone with bad intentions, but a good mask, was able to twist your promises of companionship and turn it into something else.

“...You know me the best.” You say, after a while. The sky rumbles above you once again, the final warning you receive, before a torrent of rain begins to pour down on you both. Your robes are soaked before long, bleeding into darker colors. 

The two of you don’t move. 

“Saving the world gets a bit lonely, too.” You continue on, and he recognizes that look on your face—it had been there at the beginning, when you had shown up unannounced in this field, and sat next to him without another word. 

“You’d say we could start over as friends… but I’m a very busy wizard.” Your smile is sad, this time, when it pulls at your lips. “We’d become strangers before long. A something that was there, but could never happen.” 

“...And you think taking me along a dangerous quest will fix that?” 

He hates how it, once again, comes out of his mouth wrong. He had never been good with dealing on how wonderful it felt to be wanted at someone’s side. 

“I said I’d protect you, didn’t I?” Your face tilts upward, and allows the drizzle to wash over your face. It feels almost holy in nature—your soul feels cleansed. 

“I don’t care what Ambrose thinks. I’m not his student anymore. I don’t care what the Arcanum thinks. They don’t trust me.” 

And when you open your eyes and face him, they open slowly, as if savoring this one singular moment. And the gradual motion of your hand as it reaches up from your side, before holding it out for him to take, is measured. 

You are in no rush. 

“I think I can trust you.” You say, softly. “Don’t you agree?” 

His hand as it slides into yours is cold and wet. But it still makes your heart soar nonetheless. 

“Yeah. You can.”

[liminalhymnal]

If somebody brings up how their severe anxiety issues are causing them to be chronically ill and you fire back with "Just don't be anxious abt stuff then lol"

I Will Fucking Throttle You

[redwoodrroad]

oh gee whiz

[luxwing]

I had my mom take that RAADS-R test and she scored 180 lmaooo

[wensdaiambrose]

Please don't flirt with you? Yet to post pinups for attention

Wow, it's almost like my consent matters. Who'd have thought. Gee wiz.

[oldwizardyaoi]

seeing a piece of fan-made media that contains the most vulgar, hot, lewd, obscene, desperate, absolute filthy and borderline blasphemous sex scene and repeatedly saying “oh cool” as it happens

[batfam-rewrites]

Damian: Cassandra!!! *runs around the mansion and into the second floor living room* Has anyone seen Cassandra?

Jason: Cass left a while ago to train.

Stephanie: You know, I think I saw Dick leave with her. You don’t think...?

Duke: Oh no, you don’t think they are training together, do you?

Stephanie: I think they might be!

Jason: Oh my god, poor Cass!

Damian: That is truly unfortunate!

Harper: Why is training with Dick so horrible?

Jason: Because Dick doesn’t train, normal.

Harper: How so?

Damian: Grayson trains exactly like a circus freak. So when he goes to train, it’s not just sparing and working out but he also fits in a number of his gymnastics events into his training.

Harper: Oh! Well...that can’t be too bad. I mean a lot of us do acrobatic stuff anyway so how much worse can it get.

Jason: That’s exactly what I said. I went in thinking, “Oh, gee wiz. I can’t wait to train with golden boy Dick!”

Stephanie: *laughs* You said gee wiz?

Jason: Shut up, this was before I died! Anyway, I go in and he had very simple skills set out for me. Should’ve been easy, right? I fell doing just about every skill that he had me do! And if doing all six events wasn’t already bad enough, he decided to through me on the trapeze as well! And after that we did an hour of conditioning and flexibility! I came back to the Batcave more sore and with more bruises than I had ever received out in the field at that point!

Damian: *snickers* Wow, how pathetic that must have been!

Jason: Oh, yeah, and how did your training session with Dick go?

Damian: Pfft.... I excelled at everything he had set out for me! I was a natural!

Everyone: *stares at Damian*

Damian: *crosses his arms* Fine! I fell a lot and I had to tap out after vault because Dick was scared I was going to “make my injury worse.” It was only a bit of leg pain!

Stephanie: Your couldn’t move your leg!!!

Damian: It was just a bone fracture, I could have kept going though!

Harper: Holy shit!

Duke: Personally I wouldn’t mind just training floor or high bar with him again, I would just try and skip the rest though.

Stephanie: Yeah, but you got off much easier than the rest of us! I remember Dick finding out I did gymnastics until I was 15 and he dragged me with him.

Tim: *walks in*

Stephanie: The training part wasn’t too bad but I’d much rather do Bruce’s conditioning than Dick’s!

Tim: Are we talking about training with Dick?

Stephanie: Yeah.

Tim: It’s not too bad!

Jason: Shut up, you don’t count because you’re a junior elite gymnast!

Duke: I don’t think either you or Steph count as both of you actually had a gymnastics background!

Stephanie: Hey, Dick’s training is on a whole different level!

Jason: Gymnastics in itself is a whole different level of training! I’d rather hear another lecture from Bruce than ever do that shit again!

Damian: Don’t lie to yourself, Todd! We all know that you secretly use the rings and tumble track when you think no one is watching!

Jason: Oh, like you don’t go in there training as well every once in a while!

Damian: I don’t!

Duke: You most definitely do!

Damian: Why would I want to, I’m the one who was injured!

Stephanie: Please, you said it was nothing!

Duke: I couldn’t walk for a whole day after mine!

Stephanie: You think that’s bad, I couldn’t walk for three days!

Jason: You still had previous experience!

Stephanie: I hadn’t done shit for a year though!

Harper: I haven’t trained with Dick yet, and I don’t want to!

Jason: I don’t want to do that shit again!

Cassandra: *walks in*

Everyone: *stops fighting*

Harper: Hey Cassie, how are you feeling?

Cassandra: I’m feeling pretty good, core is killing me though!

Stephanie: You poor thing! How did training with Dick go?

Cassandra: It was really fun! Dick was talking about how we finally have enough people to do a competition again!

Jason: You’re not bruised, super sore, anything?

Damian: No broken or fractured bones?

Cassandra: *examines and lifts her arms and legs* Nope!

Dick: *walks in super sore and grunting* Hey Tim, do you mind subbing in for me during patrol tonight?

Everyone: *looks at Dick in surprise*

Tim: Suuure!

Duke: Did Cass train you!

Dick: *moves to a chair* She said my conditioning was too light so we did hers. *sits down* Oh fuck! I’m not moving.

Cassandra: Damian, are you ready to play?

Damian: You’ve kept me waiting.

Damian and Cassandra: *walk out*

Jason: Hey, Dick! Out of curiosity, who had the worst training session with you?

Dick: Ummm...... Definitely Bruce!

Everyone: What?!

Dick: Yeah, he fell on top of the pommel, had a hard time moving on floor, kept running into the vault table. By the end of it Bruce took a shower and passed out for 15 hours. Pretty sure it’s the most he’s ever slept in his life.

Harper: Don’t ever invite me to train with you! I am terrified!

Dick: Cool! *gives a thumbs up and starts to zone out*

Duke: Wait, if you’re as acrobatic as Dick, then why don’t you do many flips and stuff out in the field then?

Tim: Are you kidding? I don’t want anyone to know my identity, especially when I was able to find out Dick’s identity by only watching his high bar routine back when I was in level 6!

Dick: *zones back in* I remember that! You called me stupid for that!

Tim: It is so obvious, just stop showing off!

[starseneyes]

Chenford - Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 5 - Ep 17

"The Enemy Within" AKA Chenford Sucks at Babysitting

I've been so caught up in life (mostly great stuff) that I almost forgot it was Chenford night! Gee wiz!

But, for those following along:

we got an amazing deal on a car

we're this close to picking a roof vendor

I have another regular client for a few months

might have one more big contract coming in

See!? Good. Just busy.

SPOILER ALERT: I like spoilers very very much. If you don't, please run away. I will spoil the entirety of the episode and the whole series that has come before that if the Meta demands it.

All squared away? Awesomesauce. Let's dive in.

"Hi. Uh, don't hate me." "What did you do?"

Tim is actually smiling when he sees her scurry up to him, versus last episode when he was scowling.

He can't even look at her as he asks his question, because they just weathered the storm of Tim Metro Jenga and now what!?

"No, you're supposed to say, 'I could never hate you.'"

Tim throws a look her way, and we all know that while Tim could never hate Lucy, that's not the point. He needs to know what she did and fast because his imagination's already running wild.

"Fine. I got mad at you a few months back after a Tim Test."

Because she hopped in a TARDIS and took a trip back in time.

Look, I know the timeline on this show can be a counter to reality, considering the first year of the show was about 3.5 years. But we know from 4x05 to 5x06 was a year because both episodes take place on Halloween.

Tim and Lucy started dating in 5x10, and it was "a few weeks" by the time we got to 5x12. So, we're at least a few months past Halloween, meaning that Tim hasn't put Lucy through a Tim Test in well over a year and a half.

Now, it's possible Lucy has no concept of time, but I'll admit the line took me out the first time I heard it because I try to keep track of the timeline for the sake of these Metas.

Is it a ridiculous thing to be bothered by? Abso-friggin-lutely. And totally attributable to Lucy's inability to keep track of time. Her pregnancy might feel like a decade and her first child's first year in a blink of an eye.

I hear that's how it goes for people who have one kid, at least. My twin pregnancy was a breeze compared to my second pregnancy with my daughter, and the twins' first year was... survival.

What matters is—Lucy was so pissed she set Tim up.

"Which one?" "Oh, weird, I honestly don't remember. But, so, that's not important." "What did you do?"

Tim's mouth is open the whole time she's talking, just waiting for her to give him a straight answer. He knows this is bad with how much she's stammering and starting over.

"I signed you up to be a Make a Dream mentor and then I totally forgot about it. I'm sorry." "For when?" "Today."

Tim's eyebrows shoot up to the sky and his hand automatically rises in protest. Lucy's hands rise to meet them, and his falls away.

It's a part of their dance. Yes, this sounds like I'm high. No, I'm not high (and never have been in my life). I'm connecting dots over here! ... Which also makes it sound like I'm high.

Have you ever noticed how Tim and Lucy shift based on the other, sometimes? When they're outside the plane in 5x01 and they're holding onto one another, there's a sway to their movements. They do it, again, in 5x12 right before Lucy disrobes her honey so she can eat him up. *ahem*

Tim and Lucy have a feel for each other. For the space the other occupies. There are times when occupying the same space is a very good thing, of course. But there are other times where they simply shift to make room for the other.

It's such a sweet, subtle thing that is more than likely good blocking and/or actor instinct. But it makes for such a beautiful visual of give-and-take with Chenford. It's mesmerizing.

"It's a good thing... lifting up a sick kid who's having a really hard time. What could you possibly be doing with your day that would be more important than that?

Lucy grabs onto his arm and he spins back to face her. Most of the time, it's small, open-handed touches from Lucy when they're at work. But this time she full-on handles her future husband to get his attention.

"Nice job boxing me in" "Thank you."

Tim's mad-impressed with his woman. If he wasn't so pissed, he might suggest they slip into a closet Wopez style for a quickie.

Lucy gives Tim the most adorable little bow, like a performer appreciating the applause.

"Where are you going?" I gotta go out on patrol." "You are me are gonna be entertaining our Make a Dream kid together."

Because if I have a kid, that means you have a kid. Like, it's already a foregone conclusion for these two.

Remember, Lucy knows that Tim wants kids, and thought he'd have some by now. Tim knows Lucy wants kids because she talked at length with him about her ovaries (even when he didn't want her to).

They're on the same page. Someday (not right now) there are gonna be little Chenford babies running around.

But right now, let's see if these two can handle one kid for a day.

"What else could you possibly do with your day that's more important?" "Yeah, right. I should have seen that coming."

You really should have. And while I'm curious about the logistics of this, considering he's not her supervisor, anymore, so he can't decide what she does with her day, I'm totally willing to suspend disbelief and have some fun.

Chenford + Kid? This'll be fun!

"This is my son Jordy. Say hi." "Hi. I hear you wanna be a cop." "Yeah." "Okay, well, you're gonna be hanging out with us today." "So, I just pick him up at 3?" "We'll take good care of him."

Tim has a smile for the kid when Jordy arrives, but it's not his "stop kissing my girlfriend you asshat" face he usually reserves for Chris. This is that smile he often reserves for kids—welcoming and sincere, yet still subtle. You can see it on his face with the Little League team earlier this season.

Also, I'm very curious about how this system works. I know I'm that weird Mom who wants to watch her kids' dance and Ninja classes, but I've signed waivers with those places, too. So, did Lucy forge Tim's signature on a waiver of some kind? That would be an interesting fanfic!

Also, the use of "we" and "us" still gets me. You'd think I'd be bored of it considering they've been knocking boots a while, now, but inclusive language makes me warm and fuzzy inside.

This is what happens when someone with two communications degrees writes a Meta. I'm so, so sorry.

"So, I'm thinking Processing. Wanna take your fingerprints? Get a mugshot taken?

Tim is so cute with kids! He's really trying to give this kid a fun day, even though this is not how he planned to spend his day.

Lucy's little dance in this scene had me rolling, too. We're so getting a sneak-peek at these two as parents. Spoiler Alert... they've got some work to put in. Thank God the first year is (as Bradley Whitford said in one of my favorite shows) "an on-ramp".

"Okay. Give me your meanest face." "Now look miserable."

Is it weird that Tim reminds me of my dad in this scene? Doesn't help that it's hilarious, and my Dad's an ex-standup comic. Yes, I mean it. Never feed that man a straight line.

But this kid does look miserable. Poor thing looks like he'd rather be anywhere else than at a police station.

"This doesn't exactly feel like making dreams come true." "He looks like he hates us."

Because he does. He hates your guts. It's finally happened... someone hates Chenford.

And, I know in reality there's always someone who hates something. I hate mushrooms. My husband loves them. It does nothing to the mushroom's opinion of life that I don't want to eat it while Matthew does.

But the fact that this kid's literally mean-mugging Chenford had me rolling.

Also, Tim has his arm up on the counter before Lucy approaches. When she does, his arm moves out of the way so her arm can rest there. It's their dance—always making space for one another.

THEY LOST THE KID.

I wrote this over here, then glanced at Twitter and briefly wondered if we were going to have this as a trending topic because... oh my gosh, two cops just lost a kid.

And, look, kids can be sneaky. When my Eldest was 3, he decided to play Hide and Seek at 10PM and forgot to tell us.

We searched the entire house and were about to call 911 (even though he couldn't yet unlock the doors and they were all deadbolted shut) when I finally called out that we were going to throw away toys if he didn't come out.

He was standing on the sill of our bay window with the curtains almost flat against him because he was so tiny. I sobbed, hugged him, and told him that he couldn't play hide and seek without telling us first.

My kid didn't even mean to be sneaky. This kid clearly does.

"We didn't lose him. We misplaced him."

He's not a ballpoint pen, Timothy. You lost a person.

"How can you be so calm? What if this was your kid?"

The kid is inside a police station with lots of good people to watch out for him. Believe me, it could be worse.

"You know what, if we ever lose our kids, I'm gonna need you to take this a lot more seriously." "Hold up, our kids would know better than to pull a stunt like this."

Y'all expecting or something!?

And, no, this is not a question you should ever, ever ask anyone in real life no matter what.

I can't tell you how many times people asked, "Why aren't you pregnant, yet?" and I wanted to scream, "Because I don't ovulate, have a tilted sacrum, have endometriosis, and a preferential tube... but thanks for reminding me of the failed procedures, tests, and attempts at pregnancy. Really appreciate it."

But, since Tim and Lucy are fictional... I'm wondering if we're being set up for a surprise pregnancy.

Like, I think Lucy would definitely want to make her mark, first, with UC before purposefully conceiving. But, my mother knew a couple who twice got pregnant through three kinds of birth control used simultaneously. It can happen.

No matter what's coming down the line show-wise, I love how casually they are talking about it. This isn't a maybe for them, but an actuality. They truly believe that they will be parents together. And I believe it, too!

Tim remarks that they're doing well so far, and I wonder if something was cut for time. Maybe not, but it twinkles at my brain that I feel like I'm missing something.

Maybe that's just the fact I haven't had dinner, yet. Definitely missing some calories today! And Tim and Lucy are definitely missing their first kid together (second if we count Tamara).

"I found this kid wandering around and he said he belongs to you."

Their first time at a water park, this is so gonna happen. I can't tell you how many times I was on set, separated from my mother, and a random person would take one look at me and say, "Your mother's over there."

"He kept asking me what my childhood pet's name was."

This sounds like a scam. Like, remember the early days of the internet when we all did a/s/l? And then it evolved into these elaborate quizzes to post that were really data-mining schemes? Yeah... good times.

This kid's a walking BuzzFeed quiz. Beware, Aaron. Don't hit "submit"!

"What kinda kid doesn't like dogs?" "Tim."

I love her exasperation, here, but I also kinda want to write a love letter to Melissa O'Neil on all the different ways she says, "Tim" in this one episode.

I'll never forget this one actor on a movie my mother keyed who asked me to run lines with him. There was this short line he had me say over and over and over, again.

He was trying to get me to understand the many different ways you can say a line and how that can change its meaning. Kid-Rachel didn't quite get it, but adult Rachel looks back on that moment with fondness.

Melissa O'Neil really personifies that lesson in this episode. Here, Lucy's exasperated. Later, shocked and chastising. Later, still, enamored. It's one bloody word, "Tim", and yet her performance brings it to life in different ways every time. Beautiful.

THEY LOST THE KID, AGAIN

While I've been waxing poetic, Chenford's lost the damn kid, again!

"This is ridiculous."

Watching Tim and Lucy walking down the hall aghast and worried... Yup, this is totally their future. Tim's going to air-tag their kid to keep them from wandering off after this little experience.

Tim On One Knee

I know I wasn't the only Chenford-ian experiencing flash-forwards on that one. Also, the last time we saw Tim on his knees by the Shop he was looking for diamonds (also with Lucy). And now it's a kid.

Yes, this is reaching. Like, this is reaching past your cousin Burt to dip your latke in the applesauce reaching. But, come on, it's right there. I didn't even have to work for that parallel!

"I really hope you're enjoying your revenge for that Tim Test." "I'm really not. Come on."

And light-hearted as this adventure is, it's kinda perfect that Lucy's choice in "revenge" was something that would be helpful to someone else.

In an ideal situation, this kid would want to be here. And annoyed as Tim would be to lose his day, he would actually enjoy helping a kid. Because, Tim likes kids.

Lucy likes to screw with Tim. Not make his life (and hers, by extension, now) hell.

"If someone I worked for tried to put me in a wood chipper, I'd flip on them." "If someone you worked for tried to put you in a wood chipper, they'd be in the wood chipper."

I freakin love Angela. I know that this is a Chenford meta, but Nyla saying that was so badass and so true. My #3 is a fighter.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Ooooh, Tim broke out a curse word in front of a child. And, yeah, the kid broke into a secure police system, so it was warranted.

"Okay, do you even have cancer?" "Tim." "That part's true."

Look, it's out of line, but I totally get it. Tim doesn't trust people to begin with. He believes it has to be earned, but he cut this kid a break at the onset. Now, he realizes this kid played him and he's pissed.

But Lucy was right to call Tim out with a gentle admonishment using only his name because Melissa O'Neil if a rockstar who can convey all that with a single syllable.

"Okay, but you lied about wanting to be a cop." "Of course. Cops are whack."

The way I was rolling during that part. The way Tim and Lucy immediately look to one another? Priceless.

Also, Tim was kinda right. The kid does hate them.

"He said if I could figure out a way to get rid of his tickets, he'd buy me an ebike."

Asshole Dad. Poor kid. Like, yes, this kid is old enough to know the difference between right and wrong.

But so was Tim when he covered for his father's affair. These are children whose decisions are being influenced and informed by the adults around them.

"You are a criminal, Mr. Yates. And you made your son one, too."

I can't even imagine how hard this is. Because Jordy is a child, and he's already facing all the elements of childhood cancer. Adding charges on top of it?

And we all know that Tim won't charge the kid. But his dad's a different story. Tim has a problem with parents who hurt their children—be it physical or emotional.

"I can't go to jail. My family needs me."

This wordless communication is my favorite part of the entire episode.

At the beginning of their story, Tim and Lucy spoke completely different languages. Let's say Tim was barking in Latin and Lucy's finessed in French. There's enough root words to comprehend, but not truly understand one another.

Over time, they've learned one another's languages to the point that they don't even need words anymore. Tim has softened where Lucy has become more crisp and refined.

Lucy's look to Tim is a plea. There's so much to what this man is saying. Yes, he's clearly broken the law with all those parking passes, and then persuading his sick son to try to get rid of them.

But losing his license and car creates an added burden on this already-hurting family. This man is desperate. Dumb, yes. But desperate.

"His medical costs are killing us" struck me hard. On paper, my family looks good financially, right? But then there's the medical costs. Mine. My kids'. I'm on so many payment plans trying to stay on top of it.

So, an innocent bill might seem like nothing, but when paychecks are inconsistent and things break down one. after. the. other... it leaves us exposed. Matthew got a speeding ticket last month, and if not for his "taking no time off this month" bonus from the school, it wouldn't have been covered.

So, I get the fear and desperation. I'm just not as dumb as this guy.

Meeting her eyes, Tim's eyebrows shoot up. "Are you kidding me?" they say. In one look, he knows what she wants.

Look. How. Far. We've. Come.

It used to be that he was oblivious... then he would ask others how Lucy was. Then, he knew enough to ask her himself. He knew in a glance that something was on her mind, but didn't know what.

Now he knows what's on her mind. He knows exactly what she's thinking. At first he doesn't believe it. But he knows it.

He looks away, trying to decide how he's going to handle it. Then, he looks back to Lucy to confirm. She looks away, thinking she's pushed too hard, accepting whatever Tim decides.

Watch. Her. Listening when Tim tells Dumbass Dad he's not going to jail. Her eyes shift back up to him, grateful. Not only did her message get through, but Tim listened and took action.

They've come so far in their communication. But, Tim's also come far as a man.

He's always been a good cop. But he missed the human element, sometimes. He was afraid of it. Showing compassion made things worse, in his eyes.

And I'm not saying that we should just give every criminal a clean slate for no reason. But Tim made the compassionate choice, and I can only hope the Dumbass Dad makes the most of it.

"You're going to Daddy and Me Traffic school."

Can this really exist? Because it sounds a helluva lot more fun than the traffic school I had to go to back in the day. Yes, Rachel has a lead foot.

I got my first ticket on Thanksgiving when I was at university. My parents showed up to court to support me, and when the Judge noted them reacting to the cop's account, he called them out. They waved. He smiled. I got a reduced ticket.

So, the lesson of the story is that you can go fast and be okay if your parents are good enough actors.

"How can I make it up to you?" "Be a better father to your son."

Strong words from a man who will someday be an incredible father in spite of the monster who raised him, leaving him without example of what that looks like.

But Tim knows what a good father should be. Despite never having one himself, he knows. And while he'll make his own mistakes, he won't pass on the trauma to his children. He'll create an entirely new legacy of love. With Lucy's help, of course.

"Daddy and Me Traffic school sounds fun."

Whose desk Is this? Is this Lucy's desk? Is he doing paperwork out here because he doesn't want to go back to his office?

I'm sure there's a logistical reason why this scene happened where it did (maybe Tim's office can't fit three people... it is the size of a closet). But, when I fist saw him sitting there, I was confused for a second.

"It was a really nice gesture, Tim."

One word. Three letters. She's giving us a masterclass, folks. Rewatch it. You'll see.

"I wanted to throw that guy in jail for putting his son in that position." "But?" "You're a good influence."

Hell, yeah, she is. Lucy has helped Tim see pieces of himself that needed refining, but also the best of who he is. Part of what I love about this relationship is that even in the seasons when he was her superior officer, she matched him as an instructor.

They taught one another the whole way—Tim teaching Lucy to be a little more wary of the world, and Lucy teaching Tim to be a little more open. They're at their best when they meet in the middle.

"You're gonna make a really great dad one of these days."

Anyone else melt into a puddle? Or just me? I only recently re-congealed so I could write this thing.

There's such adoration in Lucy's eyes, because she's not just saying this to a coworker. She's saying this to the love of her life. Picturing him with their children, she's falling in love with him a little bit more.

And while I'm not in a rush for Chenford babies... I love that they're talking about it. That they are expecting it. That it's a part of the life they are building together.

Both of them were previously in relationships with no real future. No fulfilling one, anyway. This is the relationship neither knew they needed, but that's the proverbial Cinderella's glass slipper—a perfect fit.

"I'm gonna have to. You keep losing our kids everywhere you go." "Come on. Stop it!"

What did I just listen to!? Y'all are really tryin' to take me out with this one! But, seriously, much like the "gave me the will to live" line from 5x10, Tim is saying this strictly for Lucy's reaction.

It reminds me so much of my own relationship I could scream. Matthew and I constantly do that to one another. Mostly me, though. It's mostly on me. His reactions are so perfect!

I'm also getting major Double Date energy with the delivery of "Come on. Stop It." when we were all blessed with the Tale of Gerald the Goat. It's all in the delivery, and I love it.

Almost as much as I love Tim's real smile with teeth at Lucy's reaction. That smile is for her, and it's amazing.

Didn't expect to wrap this one so early, but loveyby went to bed early after getting our Littlest finally to bed.

I really am loving the journey Tim and Lucy are on. Were they the comic relief this episode? Yes. It's an ensemble show, and sometimes that's their role.

Am I trying to rush a pregnancy? No way. I know I called out the possibility of a surprise pregnancy in this Meta, but that's in no way scripture, here. It's simply a possibility.

But I do think these two are in a lovely place. And I'm so grateful neither has been dramatically killed off, yet. It's kinda nice to have a living, breathing ship! I'll try not to get used to it... just in case.

Side Note: Bristow earned her keep, so maybe it's a good thing Lopez didn't "get that woman out of [her] house". Made me chuckle when I watched thinking about it!

Thank you so much for reading! We have a bit of a hiatus, but we'll make it through together! One breath at a time.

[milkytheholy1]

Everything Ends: Part 8

Tmnt Masterlist. Everything Ends Masterlist. Ultimate Masterlist.

A/N: OKAY I finally got it to work, it took many drafts, many restarts and way more patience than I have but hopefully if you're seeing this it means Tumblr finally let me upload the next part! Enjoy!

--------------------------------------------------------

2044

"Aw come on, you won't let me with you again?" Donnie whined, it wasn't something he often found himself doing, but these were different circumstances. Leo heaved a hefty rucksack over his shoulder, the metal of the arm easily taking the brunt weight. 

The leader in blue sighed, pinching the skin between his eyes, "I've already told you, D. We need you to stay here and protect the base, watch over the injured and make more tech. I know you want to fight but you're too important to our cause."

"But I can help, even remotely! Shelldon V.27 would be a simple addition to your pla-" 

"Donnie." Leo called out, cutting the soft-shell turtle off. His thick stare halted Donnie, he knew the glance, knew the body language well enough; he wasn't going anywhere. Donnie released a sigh, slumping back against his wheelie chair, "Fine..." he mumbled out. Leo smiled, although it didn't meet his eyes, "Thank you, I promise it'll be worth it."

"Yeah, yeah." the genius huffed, turning away from his brother to face his tattered creations. He was still trying to rework his battle shell, but with limited parts, the dream was useless, "Just don't lose another arm, I don't have enough parts to build you another one."

"Gee, thanks, Don." Leo laughed out, walking to the entrance of the room. He turned his head to face his brother, even if he could only see his cloaked shell, "Don't do anything stupid until I get back."

"How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you." he mindlessly finished the quote, a small smile hidden in the shadows. The moment Leo left the room, Donnie cast a sneaky glance over his shoulder to check the coast was clear before he sprung from his seat and frolicked around his minimal lab. 

"Oh to be free once more, I am but a prince trapped in a tower waiting for someone to come and rescue me!" he moaned out, leaning against his desk with a hand to his forehead; he was always one for dramatics. 

His whimsical dreams soon took a turn for the worst, however.

A blaring red light painted the walls of his modest lab, a small beeping sound came from his cracked laptop while loud explosions could be heard in the distance. Donnie's eyes widened, he quickly found himself flipping over the table to keep track of what was happening. 

"Noooo, no, no, no, no, no!" he gargled out unexpectedly, one by one the cameras he had littered around their base were failing, tuning to static. The sounds were getting louder and louder, the ground and walls would shake with each hit. Something was coming and it wasn't going to be pretty. 

Donnie lept from his chair to a small draw on the opposite end of the room, within said draw was a short metal stump but when pressed extended into his glorious tech bo. Over the years the tech-wiz had time to perfect his craft, even coming up with his own logo which he branded on everything.

"Gah, my battle shell!" he cried out, feeling the ground moving below him. But before he could make it to his one form of protection, an explosion blew the wall against him, wrapping him in concrete and metal piping. Once the dust faded, all Donnie could hear was laughter and screams.

The base had been infiltrated, massacred, demolished. Luckily most members of the resistance were with Leo, only the injured and weak were left behind. Before Donnie could sit on the thought that he was left behind because he was weak, a large hand grasped him and heaved him from the wreckage.

"Ahahaa, well if it isn't the purple one." the Kraang sister cackled, Donnie struggled in her grasp, feeling her grip tightening the more he winced in pain. She drew him closer to her face, letting him see the grotesque saliva that coated her teeth, "Where are your pathetic brothers and other freedom fighters? I was hoping to crush the resistance all in one go!"

"Naaagh, well sorry to disappoint, but it's just me." Donatello gritted out through clenched teeth. He wriggled to press a button on his beaten-up tech brace, hearing a small 'beep' sound come from it. Out from the minimalistic wardrobe to their right shot out four metal tentacles which slammed into the Kraang sister, knocking her back a few paces.

Donnie was dropped to the ground, landing on his soft shell, knocking the wind from under him. No matter the amount of pain he was in, he knew he had to get up and call for help, call for Leo. While distracted by his inventions, the Kraang sister shook and growled out as she tried to fight off the scrap metal clawing at her face.

Donnie continued to press buttons on his tech brace, giving a brief "Haha" when all his tech surrounded him like that one scene in Iron Man 3, a small comfort of his when the world wasn't in complete chaos. His bo staff landed in his looming hand, he was smug, maybe it was fake confidence.

With an outstretched arm, Donnie pointed at the Kraang sister on the opposite end of the room, "A long time ago you said my tech couldn't protect me-"

"Huh?" the Kraang sister grumbled, snapping the metallic tentacle bot in half. Donnie released a small chuckle from his lips, his eyes in a heavy glare, "Get ready to eateth thy words!" with that he pushed the button on his tech brace and all at once his tech was sent flying towards the enemy.

Donnie watched in awe, everything he had managed to build from scratch was actually working and not turning evil for once, not that it was ever a problem before, aha.

When his tech began to dwindle, that's when Donnie called in the big guns, "Shelldon!" on the broken table behind the Kraang sister laid a small purple box with gleaming red eyes. Like a Transformer, the creature shifted metal plates and limbs until it stood tall, "At your ready, Donatello!" it cheered out.

"Go get 'em, son!" Donnie whispered, nearly tearing up at his own sentiments. Shelldon sprang onto the back of the Kraang, punching it hard with one fist while tugging on it's skin with the other, "Get off of me you pathetic creature!"

Donnie couldn't take his eyes away from the fight, either from fear or how impressed he was with little Shelldon. But when the Kraang creep grabbed him by the head, Donnie sprung into action, "Get off of my tech!" he yelled, swinging his bo staff and thwacking the Kraang in the side of the face. 

The Kraang sister almost immediately dropped Shelldon, the impact causing some parts to spring off of him; he was of course still in beta. Donnie landed back on the ground with determination in his eyes, he stumbled when he caught sight of Shelldon yet didn't show hesitation with his next actions.

He took a running start, charging at the Kraang then using his mystic abilities as best as he could to form a huge mallet. It had been a while since Donnie had been in a fight, even longer since he had to use his ninpo energy; he was a little rusty and couldn't hold it as long anymore. 

"THIS IS FOR RAPH!" he screamed out, bringing the mallet down against the Kraang...but it didn't work. Just in the second before it could penetrate alien skin, the Kraang had grabbed Donnie by the face. She flung him to the ground, not giving him an ounce of chance at standing back up. She pressed a hard foot against his plastron, pushing down until she heard a cracking sound please her ears. 

Before she could be fully satisfied with the death of another turtle scum, Shelldon bounced back and grabbed at her, yanking her in a feeble attempt to free his injured master. Donnie watched on, eyes barely open and head feeling numb. But he saw his creation, his tech...his son, fighting.

The Kraang had clearly had enough of this, only coming here for a simple mission and while the hunting and fighting were fun little games to her, she wanted to complete her mission. Grabbing Shelldon in a much similar vein to Donnie, she yanked Shelldon's head clean of his body. Circuitry and oil leaked out of the joints, the body going rigid in her hands. She dropped it to the ground with a rather loud 'clank' and then set her beady eyes back onto Donatello.

"Now, where were we?"

Leo sat with his arms wrapped around his torso, near enough shaking at the horrific retellings of his brothers' passings. Casey was still a grave distance away from him, equally just as distraught, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything."

"No," Leo spoke out, voice quivering, "Y-you did the right thing, I need to know- I want to know. Please, continue." Casey gave Leo a side-eye, unsure whether this was healthy or not, but nevertheless, he continued like clockwork.

"Michelangelo was a skilled and talented sorcerer, he could use the mystic arts like no other being. He fought all around the world, through space and time. Sadly, the greatest thing he could do, the thing that helps people, would weaken him with each use. The more he used his power, the more it drained him, made him old."

Casey released a meek chuckle, "The dude looked 80 instead of someone in their late 30s." Leo wanted to laugh, wanted to lift the heavy atmosphere that settled around the duo, but he just couldn't; not with this topic.

"I'll take everything I have." Mikey's voice drowned Casey's head, causing the boy to whimper.

"He helped me get here, he sacrificed himself to save the future. Just like Master Leonardo, and I can't fail him, fail both of them." Casey flicked his head to the ground, his voice fading out. He knew he had already failed them though, he's been having to carry this fear with him everywhere he went and now finally it had happened.

The Kraang were invading, the world was coming to an end, and he couldn't do anything to stop it. Casey looked towards Leo again, he felt anger; why couldn't this be his master? The one he had grown up with his entire life? Instead, he gets this guy who's clearly in the funk and refusing to see what really matters; his family.

"I wish (Y/N) were here, they'd get you to snap out of it." Casey mumbled under bated breath, thinking it was out of earshot. But Leo's head flicked up, eyes widening, "Look, I know I'm not the Leo you knew in the future, and maybe I never will be." he began.

He started his slow ascend to help Casey pull the rocks away, though the teen still refused to give him eye contact. But Leo continued, he was going to make this right, "This whole time I was sure my family needed me, but the truth is I need them." A bright light blasted through the darkness, incasing both their faces with warmth. Casey and Leo began to dig quicker, but it still wasn't enough. 

Leo placed a hand on Casey's arm, stopping him as he gave him a hopeful smile and apologetic eyes, "If we're gonna survive this, we have to do it together." he finished. Future boy nodded back, silently agreeing with a smile of his own and a sniff of his nose. On three the two began working together, pulling the rocks back with more force until the hole crumbled and the duo were free.

Casey slapped a hand on Leo's shell, congratulating him, "I knew you could do it." Leo nudged Casey's shoulder with his own, "I just needed someone to knock some sense into me, thank you."

Casey went quiet for a moment, looking away, "I, erm, sorry about what I said back there. I was just angry and scared, I shouldn't have brought that stuff up."

"Hey," Leo pleaded, forcing Casey to look at him, offering the teen a warm smile, "Don't feel bad, I needed to hear it. And I promise the future won't end up like that, scout's honour!" he crossed his fingers along his chest, right where his heart would be.

Before Leo could walk off Casey stopped him, a hand outstretched, "I- I didn't-" he stuttered, feeling his eyes blur, "I didn't tell you about (Y/N)." Leo's expression hardened for only a second, his smooth grin forming back on his lips, "Don't bother, it's never gonna happen. Not on my watch.

"No offence, but with your current track record, that doesn't give me much hope."

Leo laughed a little, lolling his head back while he pulled out his katana, "Sometimes hope is the only thing we have." The duo walked along the railways, finally spotting an entrance.

[slugbuglu]

I am aware he is a troll

but boy, oh boy, golly gee wiz

[shmorp-mcdurgen]

looks at all your aus hm. i winder who shmorps favorite character is……

Oh gee wiz......that's a tough question.

[spaghettificationandpretzels]

And this one definitely gives me EZ Reyes vibes:

Person B does a spa day for person A

Drabble Masterlist

Effort

Contains:Fluff

424 words

Comment if you want to be tagged/removed or follow #sp's natural hair drabbles

EZ spends the day making sure you know how much he loves you.

You awoke to a note on your bedside table, "come and find me." EZ's handwriting made you smile, a little heart at the end of the words. You got up, threw on a dressing gown, and made your way through the house, meeting EZ in the kitchen, "what have you got planned today?"

He smiled, "well Mi corazón, you've been working so hard I figure you deserve a treat so I've planned you a spa day."

He took your hand and led you into the bathroom, "strip."

You giggled, "oh, is it that kind of treat?"

He shook his head, "no, I made a body mask for you, you don't need to lose the panties if you don't want."

You smiled, "what a gentleman." He helped you take off your night clothes before rubbing the mask over your skin, "it tingles?"

He nodded, "mint oil, it's a theme today."

"Oh really, you've been doing some research?"

He nodded with a smile, "mint oil is good for both hair growth and skin health, there's also fancy castor oil in the hair mask I made."

You smiled, "Jamaican black castor oil?"

He huffed, "that's it, the lady at the store said it was the best money can buy."

You pressed a kiss to his cheek, trying to avoid smearing anything on him, "you're very sweet EZ." Once that had sat for twenty minutes, he helped you wash it off, then filled the tub and directed you to rest your head over the edge.

"Tell me if I tug on anything yeah?"

You nodded as he wet your hair and combed it out, "of course." He took his time, making sure to stop and rub your scalp and neck as he went, when your hair was brushed out, he got a handful of the homemade mask and spread it through the strands, "mmmm, that feels nice."

He smiled, "does it? I made sure to only buy the best."

You giggled, "gee wiz EZ, what else do you have in store for me today."

"After this, I'm going to wash this out, then shampoo and conditioner your hair then fix your curls so they're perfect. Then I'm going to do your nail and after that, we're going to spend the rest of the day cuddling on the couch watching your favourite movies."

You smiled so big your face hurt, "what did I do to deserve all of this?"

He pressed a kiss to your cheek, "you didn't do anything other than be mine and that's good enough for me."

Fin

[sebsxphia]

being fuck buddies with hangman would literally not be a secret tho, the whole group would eventually figure out why you're walking into the hard deck soon after one another and all the hickeys you would have on your neck and chest, you would not be able to cover them up (or you couldn't be bothered, since you were out and not in class) and jake would be so cocky about it, he'd try and make you flustered by asking questions about who left those marks on you 😙

oh absolutely!! of course they all know, and the fact Hangman keeps parading on about this great fuck he keeps having, and then you turn up bruised in hickeys and the whole team is like, “oooh, I wonder who it could be 🙄”

GASP omg, you’re so right, he totally would tease the fuck outta you! “Gee wiz,” he’d whistle, “where did you get those?”

“Oh, just some fuck last night, and a pretty bad fuck at that.” You’d tease back at him. He tried to laugh it off, flicking you a stare that made your pussy clench. All you felt was his hand pressed dangerously close to your pussy, squeezing inside your thighs. It made you yelp and you hit your knee on the table.

Part of you also likes having the hickeys out because you know Jake can see them and it gets him all hot and flustered remembering how you were pressed up against his apartment wall last night, although he’ll never admit it.

thank you so much again dear anon! 💌 i wanna hate fuck this man to an inch of his life and im loosing it! please send more!! 💖

[bendy-and-buddies]

To celebrate the Dark Revival... we uncovered something sitting in the archives for quite some time.

This is a script. One for a special that was apparently slotted to be released in the month of April originally. That was all that could be discerned from the documents, what year in specific is still lost. There are even a select number of characters exclusive to this script who appear nowhere else across the Bendy IP prior to the 1990s.

((short version: Here's an "April Fools special" that's been a low effort WIP script for a long, long, LONG time. Enjoy the crack.))

DUE TO THE OUTLANDISHLY VAST FAN-DEMAND, BENDY AND BUDDIES IS NOW PERMANANTLY CHANGED TO SUIT THE HIGH DEMANDS YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE HAVE ALWAYS WANTED! SO PLEASE ENJOY THE NEW, AND IMPROVED, BENDY AND BUDDIES AND THE INK MACHINE ADVENTURES!!!

[Bendy and Buddies and Etc. is filmed in front of a fictional studio audience.]

 

Angie; “Bendy! I was hoping that the both of us could visit the beach once more, mayhap we can bring the others as well?”

Bendy; “Ah, sure Anj! Sounds like it’d be fu-“

(Alice walk in and puts her arms around Bendy, very deliberately having his head near her breasts. Cue sitcom audience cheers as Alice enters.)

Alice; “Ohhh, but Bendy just promised to take me out for a date! So sorry, maybe he can play little games with you some other time, sweetums~?”

Bendy; “Alice, c’mon! she was inviting all of us! She wasn’t excluding you on purpose or something, right?”

Angie; “Um... yes, of course she may accompany us! I do not see why Alice canno-”

(Alice and Bendy make quick confused noises at Angie’s response before resuming.)

Alice; “Oh, of course! It is just like privileged little you to try and take Bendy all for yourself! Sorry airhead, but Bendy is far too grown up for a childish little girly-girl like you! A handsome devil like this deserves a real woman like me!”

 

(bouncy sound effects to imply her boobs are flopping around.)

Angie; “But, Lady Alice, I never intended-!”

Bendy; (anxiously, under his breath) “Anj, just grab my arm!”

(Angie tries to reason peacefully until Bendy gestures her to grab hold of one of his arms. Alice has his other arm in the usual love-triangle tug-of-war scenario/trope. Angie looks less “grumpy” and more uncomfortable)

 

Bendy; “Ladies, ladies! Please, there’s plenty of the Devil Darling to go around!”

Angie; “You are in samples??”

(Bendy’s surprised, laughs a bit and is about to correct her until Alice cuts in again)

Alice; “It’s an expression, nitwit! See Bendy? Why bother with this Dumb Dora, when you can have a Darlin Dame~?”

(Angie is saddened by the persistent bullying from Alice’s end)

Bendy; (angrily to Alice, under his breath again) “You’re not helpi-!”

 

(cut to Boris nearby with a banjo)

Boris; “Gee wiz Bendy, quite the heartbreaker lately aren’cha?”

Bendy; (dramatically) “it’s my devilish charms, I can’t help it!”

Boris; “One’a these days it’s gonna be yer downfall, attracting so many-“

(Sammy shows up the hell out of nowhere.)

 

Sammy; “Wonderful Lord Bendy! Let me sniff your holy panties!”

Boris: “Well, if it isn’t that super-wacky Sammy! The head of the Music Department who has no note-worthy character outside of blindly worshiping Bendy! He was never a toon like us, but… um, guess he’s here anyway! Hooray!”

Sammy; “insert anime joke here!”

Bendy; (in pure dread) “Oh no-“

 

(And now Wally shows up, also the hell out of nowhere.)

Wally; “Regardless of how Bendy’s lovelife goes, if it makes another damn tidal wave of a mess I gotta clean up: I’M OUTTA HERE!”

(stupid laughtracks playing)

Alice; “He said the catchphrase!”

Bendy; “Wally the Janitor is just hilarious in everything he pops up in, right everyone!?”

Boris; “Sponsored by the following companies listed.” (onscreen there’s several of the in-universe businesses in the canon-verse. Maybe throw in a reference to other fictitious companies? Acme is a definite one to add.)

 

Bendy; “Actually, Alice… I don’t think you really specified where you wanted to have that date anyway, where were you thinking?”

Alice; “Oh, I thought you’d never ask, my Widdle Debil! Infact, I want all of you to come with, please do follow your angel!”

Bendy and Boris; (failing to see how suspicious that was) “Sounds good to me!”

As Bendy, Boris and Sammy obediently follow Alice, Angie is called by someone else off-screen the opposite way.

 

Angie; “Wait, what was that?”

(murmured gibberish a’la Peanuts is heard)

Angie; “Oh um, alright then.”

 

(The ‘gang’, sans Angie, arrive at Joey Drew Studios. I’ll prolly just take a photo of whatever animation studio or old building from google and slap the JDS logo on top of it. Laziness!) 

 

Alice; “And here we are!”

Bendy; “Uhh… Alice??”

Boris; “Isn’t this the old studio?... Y’know, as in that place where all of us experienced terrible, traumatic pasts involving human experimentation and brutal ritualistic sacrifices that’ve left us all emotionally and mentally scared forever and other dark, gruesome things like that?”

(Bendy is a little taken aback by Boris’ detailed description.)

Bendy; “… Yeah… I thought we all vowed to never come back here…? Wasn’t finally getting out a highly triumphant moment for us or something?”

Sammy; “Lord Bendy, your buttocks is scrumptious like hamburgers!”

 

Alice; “Oh, I assure you! I have very good reasons for why I chose to take you all here! I have one… no, TWO very important things I’ve needed to show you all for a long time!”

Bendy; “Only now this has been brought up??”

Alice; “both are a lot to take in, but I need you to trust me… do you doubt your angel~?”

Bendy; “Ahh… fine then.”

Boris; “I’m ready for anything.”

(Alice looks up and calls to someone)

Alice; “Alright deary-pie, you can come out now!”

(stupid dramatic sound effects as the apparent newcomer is revealed)

Geno-Fur; “Hello, everyone!! It’s me, Geno-Fur!!”

Sudden Narrator; “Thaaaat’s right! It’s Geno-Fur the DemonAngel, the most powerful cartoon character in all of Toon Town! The perky, talented daughter of Bendy the Demon and Alice Angel with the help of the Ink Machine, this cute toon angel demon girl has an inner inky darkness unlike any other! She’s oh-so deep, mysterious and meaningful everyone!”

 

Bendy; (more and more like he’s reading it off a script) “Oh my Satan! Alice, we have a long-lost daughter who is beautiful and an objectively perfect and wonderful blend of who we both are! And will probably easily surpass us in popularity! If I had known we had such a blessing who totally didn’t just fall out of the sky, I would have dropped everything, married you and center my entire life around you both!

Sammy; “Praise be unto the blessed firstborn!”

(Boris is bug-eyed, genuinely dumbfounded by what is happening before him)

Boris; “UM…??”

 

Geno-Fur; “OMG! Mommy, Daddy, thank you so much! You even brought my husband here to see me!

(Geno-Fur hugs Boris hard enough to pop his spine, he’s in pain. “CAN’T… B-BREATHE-!!” his poor banjo has snapped in two. To Boris’ luck, Geno-Fur releases him.)

Bendy; (zero effort on his part) “Don’t go breakin’ my princess’s heart, Boris…”

Alice; “I love beautiful reunions!”

Sammy; “I shall always be a loyal, faithful Side-Hoe willing to pleasure you, your Queen, and your glorious child, my Lord!”

 

Boris; “Guys, none of this is in my copy of the script, what’s going on?!?”

Alice; “I’ll gladly answer that! What’s going on is my second reason…”

(Alice wipes the side of her face to reveal the same gross Scarface thing going on with Susie-Alice. Shock Horror, she’s also Susie-Alice.)

Alice: “As it turns out, I’m still not near as perfect as I’d like to be!! AH-HAHAHA!”

(Alice cackles evilly as she grabs Boris and drags him into the building. Yes, exactly like the end of Chapter 3.)

Boris; (As he’s spirited away) “WHAAAAAT THEEEEE HAYSTAAACK!?....”

 

Bendy; “What!? Oh god, Boris!! Hang on buddy, I’m coming!”

(a panicking Bendy runs in to rescue Boris, Sammy and Geno-Fur follow)

Sammy; “M’Lawd! I will follow you to the ends of the earth!”

Geno-Fur; “Mommy!! Daddy!! Why can’t we settle this like normal people!?”

(Bendy is desperately trudging into the studio, unknowingly he is very slowly melting into his monster-form we are all familiar with as he becomes exhausted)

Bendy; “Boris, please hang on!! I’m coming...!! .. Augh… Maybe… Maybe I should hit the gym? NO!! No, I’m fine!! Goddamned fine!! I just gotta… Gotta keep going… Wait, wait… why is my sweat this… thick and… dark?”

(Bendy’s then surprised upon overhearing something, looking to the side to find Henry somewhere in the distance and humming to himself- probably doing one of the Chapter 3 tasks)

Henry; “Joey Drew he likes big fingers in his ass, Joey Drew he likes big fingers in his ass, fingers in his ass, he likes in his-” (yes. It’s that meme. I have zero shame.)

(Bendy slowly becomes angered)

Bendy; “Henry… Henry!!”

(this gets Henry’s startled attention. As Bendy rants he slowly completes his transformation into Monster-Bendy.)

Bendy; “My old, actual for-real creator, Henry… You left everyone… You left ME! Why didn’t you stay!? Was I just a mistake to you, blaming me for everything Joey did!? Why didn’t you love me, Henry!? Was I never good enough for you!? You LIED to us!! You never stopped Joey from all of the atrocities he committed!! You never came back!! You never played catch with me and called me ‘Sport’!! You never threw me a Birthday!! YOU NEVER BOUGHT ME A HAPPY MEAL!!!”

Henry; “Oh gosh!”

(Henry zooms away as fast as he can, his warped and enraged cartoon-demon son giving chase. Suddenly Geno-Fur to the oh-so convenient rescue.)

Geno-Fur; “Oh my god, daddy!! Izzat you?? Ohmygaww I can see why mommy thot u wer hawt!!”

(Bendy is understandably confused by her appearance and comment.)

Bendy; “huh…what??”

(he looks back to where Henry was initially, however Henry’s already in a miracle station also conveniently nearby)

Bendy; “HE’S GONE!! Where did he-!?”

Geno-Fur; “Ummm like… you know that weird up-and-down door and room thingy with buttons??”

Bendy; (surprised at how goddamn stupid she is) “The… you mean the elevator?”

Geno-Fur; “Yeah!! The escalator! I think Henry’s using it to go down to liiiiike… Level 1000!”

Bendy; “…There is no Level 1000. The building doesn’t tunnel down THAT deep.”

Geno-Fur; “Exactly!! Like, he’s going so deep down he’s trying to get to a level that doesn’t exist! I’m sure that if you go all the way down to the last floor, you’ll find Henry! Good luck daddykins!”

Bendy; (half-assing at this point) “Well, I totally trust my perfect hybrid daughter to never lie to me ever and that alibi is highly convincing. I will go.”

(Bendy exists the scene in his usual spooky way, to which Henry hops back out of the station.)

Geno-Fur; “Hurry Henry!! We gotta save mah Woof Hubby and get out of here!! And bring mommy and daddy back with the power of family love!!”

(Geno-Fur tearfully exists, Henry following her.)

Henry; “This is what I got out of retirement for…”

 

(Cut to Alice’s super-duper evil lab room with Boris strapped to the operating table Frankenstein style. Alice is still acting in-character, in contrast Boris is basically left to ad-lib and isn’t entirely certain on the mood of the scene. Boris scratches at his neck, but quickly puts his arm back in as soon as he realizes they’re rolling.)

Alice; (some obligatory evil chuckling) “… And after I’ve done away with you, Henry AND Bendy, I can continue my makeover with no trouble or interruptions at all! Then I will have the popularity I was always destined for! Now, any last words before you fulfil your purpose, little wolfie~?”

Boris; “is it too early to make a ‘stole my heart’ joke, even though you got the REAL side-splitters, or...?”

(some muffled laughter off-stage is heard, implied to be Rodney behind the camera. Alice is unamused and gestures at Boris threateningly.)

Alice; “Be quiet or I’ll cut you open faster.”

Boris; “Alright, alright, I’ll shush…” 

The “mysterious” voice who may or may not be Rodney; “Bitter hag-”

 

(because of budgetary, technical, and time-related issues… we already skip over to chapter 4 events because we’re basically haphazardly trying to scrunch in the entire canon-game story, not caring if it makes any sense at all like always)

 

Henry; “Okay, so it’s only now occurred to me to ask; earlier, we were in the show… but as we kept going, all of a sudden we’re in the-?”

Geno-Fur; “YAWN! You’re boring old-man dinosaur talk is super boring, we’re not gonna rescue Boris fast enough if you don’t let me do all of the mouth-stuff! No wonder mommy and daddy wanna murder-fy you, LOL!”

Henry; “I… I don’t even- what the heck is a ‘LOL’, anyway!? Why are you helping me if you’re their daughter or something!?”

Geno-Fur; “Because I’m sooo nice!! :3”

Henry; “How… how do you even work??”

 

(The Butcher Gang mooks appear right the hell out of nowhere without Henry even opening any of the doors)

Charley; (in a grunty, zombie-ish way) “Now’s are time to shine, boys… Lets take all of our pent-up frustrations out on Henry!”

Geno-Fur; “OOOOOH MY GOOOOOOOD!!! SOOOO KAWAII! THESE GUYS ARE SOOO MY HUSBANDS!”

(she hugs all three up to her tumour-tits, immediately all their necks snap.)

Henry: (not even caring anymore) “I thought you said Boris was your husband.”

Geno-Fur; “Ummm, DUH? Of course, he is! You’ve clearly not been listening to me with your senile old-ness! Seriously, I thought the guy who drew ME would be super-hot and NOT some old BOOMER! Isn’t that right, husbands!?”

(she only now realises the 3 are dead and lets out a big Darth Vader “NOOOO!!!”, Henry is unfazed.)

 

(Meanwhile, back at Bendy’s Ink Machine throne room - Bendy was able to hear Geno-Fur’s annoying whine from several of those miles upwards)

Bendy; “the hell…? Ugh… probably my cue… A guy just can’t watch his own show on loop in peace anymore…”

(as Bendy speaks he’s existing his “castle” to return to the higher levels. Sammy abruptly appears again in one of the hallways Bendy passes.)

Sammy; “My Lord! I will always be gleeful and willing to perform any request you-!”

 

(Bendy, not even making eye-contact, clocks Sammy in the head with his “good toon hand” hard enough to put the walking notice-me-senpai-joke out cold, the sound effect a wet and loud POW. Mr Lawrence is unconscious. And maybe missing some teeth.)

 

Bendy; “Fuckin’ punchline…”

 

(Cut back to Henry and Geno-Fur at the carnival prototype area. The poor old man is being ranted at by the annoying Mary Sue disaster for killing her 3 other “husbands”. Even though that was her own fault.)

 

Geno-Fur; “Those valiant gentle-mans meant the world to me and now they’re all gross inky poopy-goop!! This is all YOUR fault, you ugly old murderer-guy, you!! Feel guilty for your evil sins!!”

Henry; “I never even touched them; YOU did that! Please tell me, are you some kinda alien who is trying to mimic what a toon looks and acts like? Because you’re failing miserably.”

Geno-Fur; “I’m young and pretty and you’re a wrinkly old fart!! That means I’m right and you’re wrong!!”

(Henry groans in annoyance, pinching the bridge of his nose)

Henry; “Alright then… Seeing as I’m clearly a hindrance to your ‘noble quest’ or… whatever, how’s about this: you go ahead and complete all of the puzzles needed to unlock the doors, while I search for any clues or another alternate route that could maybe get us into that haunted house faster? I mean, clearly, it’d be my only good contribution to your ‘mission’.”

Geno-Fur; “Pfff, I have a better idea! I’ll go ahead and complete all the puzzles needed to unlock the doors, while YOU search for any clues or another alternate route that could maybe get us into that haunted house faster! I mean, clearly, it’d be your only good contribution to my mission!”

 

(As Geno-Fur sneers she walks to the puzzle-room that has Norman in it, Henry has an expression that all but states he wants to see this obnoxious girl get hit by a truck.)

Henry; “You…go do that.”

Geno-Fur; “YAS! And I’ma doit like a sexy QUEEN~!!”

(As she enters the door shuts behind her, trapping her there until the task would be completed.)

Henry; “Okay then… Better think of something before she gets back. I can only put up with that rotten attitude for so long…”

(Before Henry knew it, he now hears several sounds indicative of clutter and a chase as he sadly must hear Geno-Fur’s voice once more, although muffled through the walls and corridors… There are gradually more muffled sounds of disaster around him, almost impossibly so as Geno-Fur’s whining can be heard amongst it. Sounds range from explosions, to car horns and all the way to an elephant. Henry is utterly lost.)

Henry; “What the devil is that brat doing!?”

(as soon as the noise dies down finally, all the doors and puzzles have spontaneously been completed. Whatever Geno-Fur caused in there, it finished everything for him.)

Henry; “Wait, already?... Huh, that screechy rat-girl helped with progress for once…”

 

(Not wasting any time, Henry hops into the attraction and heads towards one of the carts on the track. Extra sound-effects/in-game audio to indicate the ride starts, as Henry is slowly carted through the tunnel-portion the intercom is switched on, it’s Boris and Susie-Alice mid-conversation. Alice sounds angered with a reasonable Boris.)

Boris; “-I’m just saying, you weren’t part of Henry’s initial vision when making this show, and that isn’t a bad thing! I mean, Lola got popular after Space Jam-“

Susie-Alice; “And popular with who, exactly!? A bunch of perverts who don’t care about character! But as soon as I make it to the big top, the world will know I’m appealing in mind AND sexuality! So, what if I was Joey’s add-on!? I was the best thing to happen to you and Bendy’s sad little circus!”

Boris; “Alice, look, there’s no need to get hostile. I’ve been trying to help you and turn it around into something positive. You’re the one choosing to see it as something wrong. You’re not one of Henry’s characters like Bendy and I. That isn’t an insult, it’s what happened!”

Susie-Alice; “Well! You!... You’re just a sad, stupid mongrel who digs up bones! And your friend is a fat, gremlin slob who’ll never have anything near as wonderful as me!! How do you like that, huh!? What do have to say to that!?”

Boris; “I’d say now you’re just yelling like an angry school-kid ‘cuz you don’t have a point.”

 

(Henry pays no heed to the Halloween-themed pop-ups as he listens in awkwardly)

Henry; “I might’ve jumped in too soon...”

(Susie-Alice and Boris both let out surprised a “huh?”)

Henry; “Oh! Did… did you two hear me? Didn’t think it worked that way.”

Boris; “Howdy Henry! Real quick, was all’a that ruckus earlier from that Jenny-chick? Sounded like a twister full of cats was let loose in here!”

Susie-Alice; “How much did you hear!? Wait, wait!! How do you shut this off!? Can we do this over!? Make the cart stop right now! I was supposed to give a profound and depressing speech--!!”

(the intercom is abruptly cut as Alice panics, likely because she was scrambling on the buttons. Henry’s already at the “house” part of the ride with paintings and such.)

Henry; “… I’ll just tell her I only heard something about bones and gremlins.”

(As Henry is carted across the room, he comments on the environment casually)

Henry; “Wonder who did the paintings in here? I need to ask around when I can. I don’t think the poor fella ever got credit, knowing Joey’s ‘forgetfulness’… Bertrum prolly has the answer, if he’s still nearby.”

(Henry’s about to head into the dark tunnel where Boris *would* be there as a Frankenstein monster to make it stop… but no, he isn’t there. Not to any degree.)

Henry: “Uhh… ‘Oh no! what has she done to you!?’ …”

(He clears his throat, then adds more base to his voice)

Henry: “…’OH NO! what has she done to you!?’ …”

 

(Although Henry’s deeper into the darker portion of the ride than what was normal, his tired prayer is answered as a pair of hands latch onto the cart and force it to stop. They, however, are not Boris’ mega-hands… But Norman’s, as is indicative by what Henry can see as well as the grunts. He has removed the camera-head mask)

Henry: “… ‘Boris! What has she do-!?’ wait… wait, Nor-?”

(Norman, shrouded in shadows, cuts Henry off with a panicked “SHH!!”, then whispers...)

Norman: “Look, Hen, I’m having as hard a time to follow what’s going on as you are. I’m going to push you back and adjust the cart, so it doesn’t keep moving. This did not happen, and you never saw me!”

Henry: “Of course… Highly terrifying Ink-monster who I did not see here…”

Norman: “There we go.”

 

(As the not-Projectionist(?) stated, he shoved the cart back and made quick work to turn it in such a way that it wouldn’t continue onward on the track. Henry is awkwardly left alone waiting for the warped-Boris cue.)

Rodney, undoubtedly the cameraman now and in a snarky mood; “… Isn’t something supposed to happen in this clearly suspenseful climax we’ve been building up to?”

(There is a loud “BONK” sound effect as Rod is clocked on the noggin by somebody else, resulting in an annoyed “OW!! Son of a…!!” from him.)

 

(Susie-Alice enters the room without warning, very blatantly stalling for time with improvisations. Henry hardly reacts.)

Susie-Alice; “We meet again, Henry! You’re trapped in my web, and a little fly like you will have no chance of escape!”

Henry; “Didn’t you already use that spider-web analogy a while ago...?”

Susie-Alice; “Soon! Your face will be an analogy for all the pain and ruin you’ve done unto me which is very clearly your fault as much as Joeys’! But! Unlike your ruined face mine will be fixed and I’ll be the heavenly starlet idol I’ve always deserved to be!”

Henry; “You lost me.”

Susie-Alice; “And I’ll make you lose your head too! Literally, not figuratively!”

(she charges to him dramatically, brandishing a vase prop from the table. Henry leisurely hops out of the cart finally.)

Henry; “a cue to fight and defend myself, alrighty then...”

 

(Before Henry could spring into this on-the-spot “Boss Battle”, a sudden gent pipe whizzes through the air at a beeline to Susie-Alice’s head. It’s only hard enough to make her stop in her tracks with a surprised shriek and grunt to herself for a little in pain. Standing on top of the cart Henry had exited is “Allison Alice”. She’s posed dramatically and without Tom.)

“Allison”; “Please, don’t give up Henry! You’re our only hope!... Don’t know why I said that here and now, but I did…”

Henry; (fake gasp, he’s clearly getting tired) “Oh My Goodness, another Amy the Angel?”

“Allison”; “Um, it’s ‘Alice’-”

Henry; “-Dearie me, given that there have been dozens of Boris copies, does that mean there are just as many of you?”

“Allison”; “Honestly, you’ll love what I still remember about what happened to Lacie.”

(Susie moans about her brow hurting, “Allison” remembers her other lines.)

“Allison”; “OH! Uhh by the way Henry do not be deceived by this awful, evil witch! Even though I look even less like her, I’m absolutely the real and goody-good Alice Angel!”

 

(This accusation catches Susie-Alice’s attention, and she angrily glares daggers at her like a snobby teenaged girl who got upstaged at prom.)

Susie-Alice; “You attention-whore hussy! I’m the REAL Alice Angel!”

“Allison”; “No, I’M Alice!”

Susie-Alice; “I’m Alice Angel!”

“Allison”; “I’m Alice Angel!”

Susie-Alice; “I’m Alice Angel!”

“Allison”; “I’m Alice Angel!”

Susie-Alice; “I’m Dirty Dan!”

“Allison”; “I’m Dirty Dan!”

(they both pause)

Susie-Alice; “…Did that really just come out of our mouths-?”        

 

(explosion and clutter noises, everyone is surprised. It’s Geno-Fur having burst into the haunted house room through the wall.)

Geno-Fur; “Shit! I was so lucky daddy saved me from that creepy camera-head guy! He could’ve grabbed my sexy butt and make it all gross with the weird ink corruption!!”

Henry; (under his breath) “Why did neither of them strangle her…”

Geno-Fur; “Mommy! Stop it! I know you’re like so much more than all this darkness and suffering! I totes forgive you for turning my woof hubby all ugly, because I know we can all fix and love him together! You don’t have to stab anything! You nurtured me and made me the proud, talented, and strong woman I am today!”

“Allison”; “… are you talking to her or me??”

Geno-Fur; “Yes!!”

 

(Monster-Bendy’s signature Ink Aura seeps into the room as he suddenly approaches. Oh, the suspense!)

Henry, actually surprised by this; “Wait a minute, already?? How did he know to come right here!?”

Henry, now grumpily; “... It was that pea-brained banshee, wasn’t it. All of that obnoxious wailing lured him to us!”

Geno-Fur; “Shuttup! I’m legit the reason anything good happened here!!”

Henry, rolling his eyes; “Oh yeah. Sure…”

 

(Boris… Oh Sorry I mean Franken-Boris, finally enters the scene… however everyone is still talking, and he just stands there in the back awkwardly now that any room for his cue to start the monster act is completely null with the current cast ensemble. Once more, none of what is now transpiring was in his copy of the script. He’d be whistling and twiddling his “thumbs” if they weren’t so massive and heavy now.)

 

Monster-Bendy, finally; “Well, I for one can’t wait to make... Whatever her name is stay quiet ONCE AND FOR ALL! But first things first, my bloody and graphic vengeance on HENRY!”

Susie-Alice; “HEY! Wait your turn, fatty! I’m having vengeance on him FIRST!”

Monster-Bendy; “THE FUCK YOU JUST CALL ME!? FINE THEN, MY VENGENCE IS ON EVERY PATHETIC SOUL IN THIS ROOM!”

“Allison”; “I was supposed to get Hen out of here by now??”

Geno-Fur; “DADDYYYYYY! NUUUUUUU! LEMME TOK 2 U!!”

Monster-Bendy; “WHAT!?”

Geno-Fur; “Plz, DADDY!

Monster-Bendy; “I heard you the first time-”

 

Geno-Fur; “If you’re not able to look within your heart and see that this isn’t what you want…

Monster-Bendy; “Sweet Solomon, what am I in for.”

Geno-Fur; “I wrote a song, which was 100% not originally by Christina Aguilera, JUST for you about how killing the people you love is wrong, and that I’m your best daughter ever AND LOVE YOU no matter what! It’s really dope and super cooler than what happened in Goofy Movie and I practiced all of the Fortnight dances and Minecraft stuff for it that I put it to and EVERYTHING! Duncha remember you n mommys wedding?? It was super bomb and I was the best gothic flowergirl in fishnets, leather skirt, midnight black corset and red firey boots EVER! Jus remember all de times we were like the best sexiest fam in da WORLD! And after it’s all done, I can play fnaf games with you! And then later, we’ll have another episode where I’m in highschool and Boris-sempai meets me under the cherry-blossom trees and I made him been-toes n’ stuff, and we’re the best OTP ever and Romeo and Juliet could never hope to compare to how deep we got it! And then in the final season it’ll be revealed yer in love with Uncle Cuphead and mommy is all like-!”

 

Bendy is slack jawed at this stupidity. He finally snaps.

 

Bendy; “F-… Fortnight and..? Did I hear that? Stop the cameras. Hit the brakes. Back up the bus. STOP THE GODDAMN MUSIC! Listen, I’ve put up with a LOT of braindead pandering malarkey this episode, but shit like FORTNITE REFERENCES and other media where they don’t belong are where I’m drawing the damn line. That tears it! I’m leaving! I don’t give a shit about getting a check anymore! I have a cat to feed and play with back at home, and I’m not wasting anymore time or energy on this! I’VE HAD IT WITH THIS TRIPE!!”

 

As Bendy rants, he’s removing his huge monster-self costume. Boris struggles out of the fat-suit and discards the gigantic gloves, whipping one of the X’s off his eyelids. They were makeup.

Boris; “I’m right there with you, Bend. I didn’t spend three years religiously studying musical theatre and drama to be in this piece of cow dung!”

“Allison” removes her wig to reveal it’s been Maria the whole time, because the real Allison wanted no part in this.

Maria; “Personally I’d of taken so many fat ones to stay OUT of the camera.”

Boris; “...’Many fat’ what??”

Maria; “I’ll… say when we’re older!”

Boris; “Mari, all of us are presumed 20-somethings-“

 

Rodney, finally visible as he’s approaching the set: “Rufford could fart on paper, and that’d be better material than this slop.”

Boris; “Who’s to say he isn’t one of the prime suspects? I mean, if it wasn’t Mr. Drew, or Raph-”

Bendy; “I just remembered, where the Blue Hell’s Angie!? She straight-up VANISHED in the middle of act 1!”

Angie, muffled; “Um, I am in here!”

 

They all look to a wooden box nearby. Boris pries it open to reveal Angie squeezed within.

Angie; “Hello, my friends!”

Bendy; “Anj!”

Angie; “I was informed that this would be my best contribution to the project...”

Boris; “… Wait, why put Angie into one of the crates I was s’posed to SMASH to bits, according to my script copy?”

 

(Geno-Fur interrupts like always)

Geno-Fur; “NnnnnOOOO!!! You can’t leave now! It was getting soooo gooooood!! I WANT TO SPREAD THE FEELS OF MY FEELS SPEECH!!”

Bendy; “SHADDAP, you obnoxious personification of preteen fanfiction and anime-base art!! C’mon outta there Angie, Henry promised to take us out for donuts after this.”

Angie, freed from the crate; “Oh, lovely!”

Boris; “I call dibs on the first bear claw.”

Maria; “Oh, I can absolutely go for a cream-filling!”

Bendy; “Maria, just.. don’t..”

 

Alice, trying to get Maria’s attention but ultimately ignored; “Why did the pipe you throw at me SMELL ‘funny’!?”

Dolly enters, just as frustrated about this dumb performance as everybody else.

Dolly; “Ages and ages on EVERYONE’S makeup, and do I get any mention on the end-credits? When I looked them over, NO.”

Rodney, chiming in; “Damn good for a first shot at horror-film sorta faceups, if ya ask me.”

Dolly; “Aw, you!”

Bendy; “Yeah, you got an artists’ hand Dolly! I remember Boris and I having a double-take at how well you captured Alice’s inner evil.”

Dolly; “Spoiling me, every single one of you”

(distant sound of Alice grunting grumpily and walking away from the group.)

 

Norman, somewhere in the distance: “Let’s just wrap this up and go home everybody, Joey can get his ears hollered off later!”

Bertrum, further away: “MY SCENES WERE SKIPPED OVER ALTOGETHER! THE NERVE OF WHOEVER PLITHERED OUT THIS PIGS’ EXREMENT…!!”

 

(Various voices are heard as the entire crew dissipates. Improv whatever.)

 

Henry returns to the remaining “toon crew”, holding a set of car keys

Henry; “Ima’s offered to tag along and pitch in, donuts are our treat fellas!”

 

Bendy, Angie, Boris, and company (not counting Alice or Geno-Fur) cheer in delight as they follow Henry out to grab some good old Shipley’s. Although still close by, the metaphorical camera is on the lady-trio. They momentarily face the audience.

 

Dolly; “Just to clarify, none of that hogwash we trudged through is canon.”

Angie; “We still hope you were entertained, thank you dearly for coming!”

Maria, after blowing a kiss; “Goodnight, everybody!”

 

END.

[iamknicole]

Masterlist

A/N: I'm still building this. So, if you're looking for fics of mine and they are not linked below, they're coming soon! Check the tags on this post in the meantime to find them!

Bloodline Family Series

Features Roman Reigns, Jey Uso, Jimmy Uso & OCs

Welcome Home

Parent Conference

Embarrassing Moment

Parent Conference

Big Boy Simba

Just Say No 2

Just Say No 3

Just Say No 4

Fed Up 1

Fed Up 2

A New Leaf

Wait … Before You Hit Me

Guess What

Fight

M&M’s

Freshmeat

House Party

Simba’s First Date

Heartbreak Pt. 1

Heartbreak Pt. 2

Clumsy

Studying

Fan

Daddy’s Got You

Todd

Throuple

Meet the Family

Meet the Washingtons

What’s Done in the Dark

Comes to the Light

Birthday Girl

Early Christmas Gift Planning

Dinner & Dessert

New Blessings

Congrats, Grad

Attack

Attack 2

Attack 3

Old Wounds

Old Wounds II

Old Wounds III

Tha Block is Hot

Knock, Knock

Goin’ Off

Lines

Dinner

Surprise

Boxes

Well

Let’s Talk

Draft Night

Bloodline Family Series Shorties

Features Roman Reigns, Jey Uso, Jimmy Uso & OCs

Do You Want It I’ll Buy It For You

Smoke

Haleigh & Carlito

Auntie A

You Don’t Have To Do All The Things You Do

I’m Not Gonna Stop Poking You

I Fell in Love With My Best Friend

It’s A Real Shame No One Asked For Your Opinion

You’re So Cute When You Pout Like That

That doesn’t Even Make Sense

Facetime

Child is Sick & Wants Daddy

Bedtime Temper Tantrum

Parental Paragraph

Is That Mistletoe?

My Parents Will Love You, Don’t Worry

Let’s Bake Cookies!

I Want A Picture with Santa

Daddy, Can you Help Me Write A Letter to Santa?

I Don’t Sing

Baby, Help Me Write Christmas Cards

It’s 1AM, Get Up!

Bloodline Family Series AU

Features Roman Reigns, Jey Uso, Jimmy Uso & OCs

Netflix and …

Privacy

Family Ties

Spinoff from BLFS

(I wrote all fics linked here but this series is co-run with @annoyedkayah2395, go to her blog for the installments that she's written)

Practice

First Day In Cali (Goes with “Todd”)

Video

Cali

1+1=3

Just Because

Coping

Hear Me Out

Carlito’s First Sleepover

Girl Talk

Let Me Tell You

Morgan & Chenice

Nightmare

Father’s Day Prep

Come Get Her

Family Court

Story Time

Dreamin’

Storm

Pop Up

Tragedy

Hey Alexa

MJ

Family Ties AU

(I wrote all fics linked here but this series is co-run with @annoyedkayah2395, go to her blog for the installments that she's written)

Water Balloons

But …

Studio

Co-Parenting

BLFS//FT Crossover

Excuse Me Miss

Icky

Haleigh’s Appointment

Man to Man

Jealous

Charlotte

BBQ

Home Alone

Grandpa King’s Farm

Sour Patch Kid

Birthday Party

Mama Tasha

Caught

Like It?

BLFS//FT AU Crossover

Haleigh’s Visitor

New Kid on the Block

One

Two

Three

Late

Mommy

Gifts

Unicorns & Rainbows

Awkward 2

Movin’ Out

Get Right

My Baby

ER

Visiting

Responsibility

I’m Sorry

Mama Bear

Stop!

I’m Fine

Take Care of It

Runaway Bride

Firsts

Disrespect

First Trip

Kid Free

Have & Have Nots

(I wrote all fics linked her but this series is co-run with @annoyedkayah2395, go to her blog for the installments that she's written)

Officially A Malone

Gotta Go

Bonding

Confrontation

Mind Your Business

Emergency

Recovery

Pop Up

Formal Introduction

The Real Her

My Brother’s Keeper

Family Time

Father

Let’s Talk

The Morning After

Night Out

Checkmate

Saturday

Engagement Dinner

Another Emergency

Beat Down

Sweeties Day

Creepin’

What Are You Doing Here?

Skeletons 2

Why

For You

Blood

To Zion

WTF

First Day

Warning

Just In Case

Lunch

Dumb Broad

Lil Thug Life

Moving

Old Friends

Prep

A Tragic Day

Savannah

Thin Ice

Empty House

Officer

Full Story

Family Dinner

The Last Straw

Listen

Leaving

Unbelievable

Oops

Gee Wiz, It’s Christmas

Oh You Forgot?

Guests

Coach

Who Is She?

I’m Pregnant

Conley

Sneaky

Back In Town

Stop Playin’ With Me

Oliver & Company

Unbothered

Nerves

Plan B

Back Off

Sistas

The First Baby

Switch

You’re …

Caught

Enough

Sibling Rivalry

Another Willis

Have & Have Nots AU

10 Seconds

Trouble Man

Awkward

Be Nice

Dumbass

Tyson

New Leaf

One

Two

Just The Two of Us

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Seven

Eight

Nine

Eleven

Twelve

Thirteen

Fourteen

Fifteen

Sixteen

Seventeen

Eighteen

Nineteen

Twenty

Twenty-One

Twenty-Two

SVU

Familiar Face

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Trial Prep

A Special Victim

The Things We Have to Lose (Pt. 1)

The Canary

Features Roman Reigns & OCs

One

We All Want Love

Features Roman Reigns & OCs

Cast

Chapter One

Line in the Sand

Features Tama Tonga & OCs

One

Two

Three

Four

Five (Pt. 1)

Five (Pt. 2)

Six

Seven

Eight

Empire

(I wrote all fics linked her but this series is co-run with @annoyedkayah2395, go to her blog for the installments that she's written)

Prince of Rap

Group Project

Condo

Come Here

Faded Memories

Ghost

Come Clean

Ghost 2

Rocky

Meeting Ms. Taylor

McIntyre Family Series

Features Drew McIntyre, Montez Ford & OCs

Temper Tantrum

First Night Home

Bonding Time

Daddy, Can You Help Me Write A Letter to Santa?

I’m Pregnant

My Parents Will Love You

Is That A Mistletoe?

Sleeping Headcanon

Anger Headcanon

Kissing Headcnnon

New Years #4

Main Event

Champ

Champ 2

Deja Vú

Features Florian Munteanu & OCs

One

Two

Three

Four

Shorties

Daddy Daughter Time (Seth Rollins)

Twitter Fingers (Tama Tonga)

Baby’s First Shots (Tama Tonga)

Temper Tantrum (Samoa Joe)

First Day of School (Tama Tonga)

Baby’s First Doctor’s Appointment (Jeff Hardy)

Nightmare (Tama Tonga)

Child is Sick (Jeff Hardy)

Breakfast Time (Samoa Joe)

Daddy Daughter Bonding (Jinder Mahal)

Parental Paragraph (Big E)

Director's Commentary

Haleigh & Messiah

Jey & Apryl

Roman & Kandice

Best & Worst Traits of Characters

Drew & Danica

[rubberduckyrye]

Oh dear I think I found why LoP as been Cancelled and by golly gee wiz if these accusations are true (which they seem like they are as there's a video of it) then she's enbyphobic/being extremely transphobic

Nice