#okay lets stop here before i say something truly offensive

[tollingreminiscentbells]

In the defense of bottom!Voldemort|Tom

I'm in a mood, so I've decided to break down my thoughts on this topic and I'm putting it in the tags for anyone who is interested. With a suitably melodramatic title.

The rules here are simple: if you know you won't like this, don't read it. If you read it anyway and don't like it, that is the definition of a you problem. Okay? Okay.

So let's talk about why I think it is incorrect and, frankly, offensive to claim that Voldemort|Tom bottoming is inherently out of character.

In order to have this conversation, we're actually having a bigger conversation about sex. Because that's really what this is about.

Something that has popped up in a handful of comments on my own fic is surprise that Voldemort wants to suck Harry's cock. Now, I'm going to be charitable and assume that the people who say things like this don't realize what they're implying. But the reality is that they are operating from the assumption that a man sucking another man's dick is, at least to some extent, weak and degrading. A subservient act.

This is both homophobic and factually untrue. A significant percentage of people who like dick also like giving blowjobs. It's an enjoyable, pleasurable thing to do. And even if the physical act of sucking cock doesn't turn someone on, there are so many other reasons to want to do it. Getting off on being the source of your partner's pleasure, for one example.

But let's move on to the elephant in the room: anal sex. Specifically, the act of being penetrated. The interesting thing about bottoming is that, contrary to what some people seem to believe, it's the more powerful position. Penetration is only happening because the person bottoming is granting permission. Even if that person has ceded total control of the encounter, the fact remains that they made that decision in the first place and could un-make it at any time.

If that agency does not exist, the sex is not truly consensual. Full stop.

Moreover, a strong, dominant personality =/= topping. There is no innate correlation. This is where misogyny really comes to the table. Bottoming seen as a feminine act, and femininity conflated with weakness and submission. Do I think (most) Tomarrymort readers are consciously thinking this way? No. But that doesn't mean the underlying bias isn't present.

There are so many ways penetrative sex can play out. Yes, you get the "classic" version of the person topping being dominant and the person bottoming being submissive. But you can also get topping from the bottom, where the dominant partner in every way is the person being fucked. Or maybe no one is taking a dominant role. Et cetera. This is a broad overview, not an exhaustive list.

Do you see what none of these things have? An assumption that topping=stereotypical masculinity and bottoming=stereotypical femininity. Even with a couple that likes playing with that flavor of gender roles, it's a choice they're making. And before someone willfully misunderstands me, there is nothing wrong with that choice. But don't mistake it for something it's not.

So now that we've clarified that being penetrated is not weak, degrading, or even inherently submissive, let's bring this back to Tomarrymort.

First of all, have you read the books? Voldemort is campy as shit. High drama and a surprisingly great sense of humor (his jokes are fucked up, but also pretty funny). He's not this hyper-masculine figure. On the flip side, Harry is not an effeminate man. He's a jock who will fight you.

So from whence comes this zealous dedication some people have to a fixed dynamic that puts Voldemort|Tom in the masculine role and Harry in the feminine role? Yes, we've established that sex positions are neither of those things, but we all know that's the assumption simmering toxically in the background.

I can't say for sure, but my instincts tell me that it comes from a shallow read of both characters. Voldemort is a powerful man who commands a terrorist organization. Harry is the good-hearted hero, defined by his capacity to love. And this can get twisted into Voldemort|Tom taking and Harry giving in a very reductive way. Even when the relationship is meant to be consensual.

Obviously, I don't think this is universal. I've read a lot of incredible takes on sex in this fandom, with different top/bottom/switching dynamics. And this is fanfiction, which means you can play with characterization to your heart's content. What I'm talking about is people insisting that Voldemort|Tom must top and Harry must bottom and anything else is wrong.

Why are you so adamant about that? Have you ever given it a moment's thought? If you prefer it, you prefer it, that's all fine. But when it morphs into claiming that bottom!Voldemort|Tom is out of character and bad, things have crossed over into the arena of the absurd. Like what you like, but be aware of what you're really saying when you talk about sex.

Not conflating bottoming with weakness and topping with strength would be a good starting point. Understand that there are myriad reasons a person might want to bottom. It can be a source of relief, allowing someone else to take control so you don't have to. It can be an act of manipulation. It can be a form of domination. And sometimes it's just because bottoming is what feels good and they have more fun that way. Or it's just the kind of pleasure they're in the mood for on a random Tuesday night.

No one is telling you to read things you don't enjoy. And no one is saying that fixed top/bottom dynamics don't exist in the real world. But it's ridiculous to apply a fixed dynamic to such a degree that you get upset when other people write something else and consider a fic "ruined" by it. You really should put some thought into your biases. It's good for you. But even if you don't, when you claim a sexual dynamic is inherently out of character, you're actually just wrong. So stop doing that. It will be a net gain for all of us, including you.

[lokisprettygirl]

Brokenhearted (Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Non Canon Modern AU) (18+)

Read Chapter 3 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 4

Summary: As you reveal your desire to want more than just sex in this situationship, Daemon runs again but this time he comes back with an epiphany.

Warning: 18+, Daemon is mean and toxic, pure disrespectful at times, Reader has a personality, flashbacks of abusive relationship, sexual abuse, Daemon is a big time smoker so if it’s something triggering don’t read it, he’s not the best boyfriend, alcohol drinking, mention of past trauma and therapy, cigarette smoking, possessive behaviour, some violence, baby needs therapy,

Next morning when he woke up he was startled a bit to see the blanket covering his body, he sighed as he realized that you must have put this on him in the middle of the night. You continued to care for him despite his offensive behavior towards you and he wanted to stop being such a jerk but his experiences weren't allowing him to move on.

One had to learn to heal in order to move on and he hasn't healed at all in the past seven years, a part of him wanted to leave it all behind but he failed, he couldn't forget the betrayal, the way he allowed himself to be used and abused in the name of love always reminded him how pathetic he truly was.

He got up to see if you were still in his condo but the silence around him was enough to indicate that you must have left for work.

He got ready and decided to check up on you, he shouldn't have snapped at you like that, again, maybe he should just tell you that he didn't like talking about his past and he was hoping you'd leave it at that. Somewhere in his heart he knew he adored your presence in his life and he knew he didn't want to let go of you, he didn't want to be the one to leave this time, if you do, that would be alright with him, he won't chase you either, he'd deserve it like he deserved to be left by those women he used as a crutch for his mental instability.

As he reached the restaurant, Claire saw him and rolled her eyes.

"Can you call her? I need to talk" he said to her so she turned around and left for the kitchen area, a few moments later you came out of the door and walked towards him,

"Are you alright?" You asked him softly as you reached closer, you felt worried about him, that nightmare that he had must have been about something he had suffered in his life. Only a truly traumatizing event could have caused a man like him to shrivel up like that.

"Yeah why?" He looked at you, slightly confused by the question, maybe he didn't remember the nightmare.

"No .. nothing…ummm you want to eat something?" You asked him but he didn't say anything, he was staring deep into your eyes and then much to your shock or delight would be the better term, he placed his hands around your arms and pulled you closer to hug you.

You were so taken aback that you didn't even know what to do in that moment. He placed his head down on your shoulder and was holding onto you as tightly as he could, he had never hugged you this way before so you had no idea how to react but you eventually decided to wrap your arms around his neck.

"I don't want to talk about my past life. When I'm with you I just want to be with you alright?" He mumbled as he pulled away and cupped your cheeks, he placed his forehead down on yours and it made you think of that soft vulnerable man you had gotten a glimpse of a night before.

"Okay, we don't have to talk about that if you don't want to..I was just curious but to be honest I want to get to know you better Daemon, this casual thing isn't working out for me anymore, i know you asked me to not involve emotions but I can't turn it off especially when I'm around you..it's hard for me to do that, you can get out of this situation and leave if you want to..but I can't keep it casual anymore" he lifted his head up as you said all that in one breath. He feared sooner or later you'd say something like that to him.

"I can't give you what you want" he mumbled softly, he looked around and people were staring so he grabbed your hand and took you to the bathroom, not the best place to have this conversation but he had to talk to you about this.

"What do you think I'm looking for?" You asked him so he sighed, he stepped away from you and ran his fingers through his hair in nervousness as he leaned against the sink, crossed his arms and then that typical condescending smile graced his features.

"Well for starters, you would want a lovey dovey boyfriend who'll dote on you all the time. Write bloody Shakespearean poems for you and kiss you as if he's starving for a taste, then you'd want him to snuggle you and tell you how much he loves you everyday and night" he said as a matter of fact as if he knew what you wanted. He knew nothing.

"Okayyyy ummm ..first of all I'm not a teenager, I'm a grown woman .. and i don't need a grown man to coddle me all the time..it's frankly unrealistic and kind of disturbing" he looked down as you said that so you walked towards him. Was it unrealistic or you were just trying to appease him? He used to be that man. When he fell in love with her he went all in, sure he was younger and unwise back then but he wasn't always this cold stone condescending man that you were dealing with right now

"Intimacy bothers you, both emotional and physical, you don't think of sex as intimate and I'm not going to ask you why you feel that way. I don't need to know if you don't want to share just yet or ever, but I care about you Daemon and I'm tired of pretending that I don't, and I know you care about me.. I can feel it when you're around me, am i delusional?" Your eyes teared up so he sighed and looked down again.

"I care about your safety and well being, I won't lie and tell you that I don't feel protective of you. I really do and I enjoy fucking you and I'll be honest I don't want to stop either but that doesn't mean I'm in love with you or ever will be" he said to you so you nodded, this was more than what he had said in the last few months.

"You know only those who have been deeply burned by love say stuff like that?" He snickered as you said that,

"Are you a shrink now? Changing professions now huh?" He chuckled as he spoke, his voice was dripping with undiluted sarcasm.

"Look Daemon, If we are going to see each other and continue thisss then I need you to accept that I care about you and that when we are together I would want to take care of you..I'll never beg for your attention or your emotions but I want to be the one to give them to you" he looked at you, bewildered by your response, he didn't understand why you even cared about him when he has been nothing but awful to you. Was all of this just because he happened to save your virtue once? Did you feel like you owed him something?

"And why would you be so selfless if I may ask? Why would you want to waste your affections on a man who won't make you feel the same?"

"You make me feel good Daemon, just in different ways, I don't feel trapped when I'm with you or feel liable for you in any which ways, you don't expect much from me unlike those other guys that I have been with before and I enjoy that. I enjoy your company, is it hard for you to believe that?"

He gave you his typical look before he looked down again, he didn't really have an answer. She had destroyed his self esteem to the point where he didn't feel he was worthy of any form of care or affection, especially not from you. You looked at the time and you knew this wasn't the right time or place to discuss this "I'll have to go now before they assume I'm having sex or something in here and fire me" he chuckled as you said that but a somber look appeared soon after.

"Darling I'm not sure I'm what you need" He told you so you smiled and nodded. You walked closer to him and his body went stiff for a moment but he relaxed as you cupped his cheeks and kissed his forehead, the touch did evoke some memories but your scent calmed him down. You were not her, he knew that but he didn't want to accept just yet that when you showed him affection it made him feel good about himself, even if just for a moment it really made him feel like the man that he used to be.

"Think about what I said and if you decide to take this thing forward, you can come to my place tonight. I'll make something you like for dinner and then we can discuss your boundaries and what bothers you" you smiled as you said that and then you turned around to leave, once you were gone he let out a irritable groan and turned around to look at himself in the mirror.

He had tried so hard to not stray away from the boundaries he had made for himself and the rules he had made for women in his life that came after her but with you he was crossing every single boundaries and he was willing to allow you to break a rule or two with him.

But he couldn't stop feeling so pathetic no matter how hard he tried, her voice kept ringing in his head, he was good for nothing and always will be, he'll never give you what you deserve.

As he reached the center, Casey Anderson stormed towards him and asked him why he had punched his brother for speaking the truth, he wanted to dissolve his contract with Daemon and change the trainer because he was utterly furious at humiliation his brother had suffered. The Targaryens made the best coaches and Casey knew that he needed them so instead of abolishing the contract with the center itself he wanted to hire Viserys instead.

"What is this all about?" Viserys took him aside to question him and Daemon just rolled his eyes, he didn't care about anything, if he didn't need money he'd quit it all together. There was a time when he wanted to become the world famous fighter and make his own name. Being in the ring and defeating his opponent was a rush he'd never forget but he couldn't even get in the ring now without thinking of the last time he was in there and what had transpired that night.

"Why don't you ask his cunt of a brother?" Daemon glared at Viserys but he wasn't having any of it today,

"Look Daemon I don't care what you do in your personal life but I won't allow this nasty attitude of yours to interfere with our business you hear me?" Viserys grabbed him by the collar of his shirt as he spoke to him loud and clear. If it was any other guy Daemon would have hit him left right and center by now but he owed his brother for helping him get back on his feet again. Literally and otherwise.

Daemon didn't care that he lost a client, he should have cared but he didn't. In the last few years under his training several fighters had made it to the international leagues so this wasn't really his loss. If he could go back in time, he'd punch him all over again for disrespecting you like that. After the stupid altercation he decided to take a day off and went straight home.

He couldn't stop thinking about your offer, was he ready to take a leap and build this relationship with you? What would happen if you try to cuddle him in bed or want more in future? Like marriage and babies and all that stuff? He would never want that. He groaned and pulled out a cigarette as he continued to worry about the situation he was in.

He wanted to give this a chance but he wasn't ready, he didn't think he'd ever be ready for an actual relationship again.

He called you in the evening and for once he felt nervous, he didn't want to hurt you again but he knew he won't be able to keep you happy either. You deserved better.

"Hiii" he heard your voice and for a few seconds he lost his own, he hadn't even realized how drastically you were starting to change his feelings for you.

"I'm not coming" he told you in a strict firm tone but his heart clenched as you went quiet on the other side. You needed a few seconds to compose yourself.

"Okay, so this is it then i guess?" You asked him and he wanted to tell you that he wanted to keep seeing you without getting all the emotions and complications involved in the mess but that would have been selfish and even though he was a selfish man to his core, he didn't want to hurt you anymore.

"Yeah..I told you to not get your emotions involved –"

"It's not your fault..no hard feelings really" his eyes teared up as you said that. You were finally giving up on this toxic situationship and that's what he wanted from you then why did it hurt? It never hurt like this when those other women left him, he looked back at the past few months and you both hardly spent any quality time outside of those dates that eventually led to fucking each other's brains out. Then when and how he developed these pesky little feelings for you?

"Alright, take care of yourself then. And i meant what I said last night, if you ever feel threatened by anyone you can always come to me" he said softly, this was the softest you had ever heard his voice go.

"Okay I'll remember that..thank you. Whatever it is..i hope someday you'll find the strength to move on Daemon, I don't know what has happened with you or what you suffered but you're so much more than that, your suffering doesn't define you or the type of man that you are. If you ever need me I'll be here too..I promise" you hung up as soon as you had finished your words, you didn't want him to get upset but you felt as if you had to tell him that.

You really wanted to be the one he'd open up to but maybe he wasn't ready to let go of his past and whatever was hurting him. You were mature enough to understand that healing could never be forced on anyone. He had to take the first step and he wasn't ready.

Ever since you met him you always had a feeling that someday you'd end up right where you were right now and get your heart broken again but you still took the risk. Now you wondered why because this hurt more than you could have anticipated.

Daemon wanted to cut you off completely, find some other distraction and not think of you ever again but it wasn't easy, he was addicted to you and how you felt around him. When a few weeks passed he had realized that he had made a grave mistake, it's not that he was sulking at home all day and was a mess because you weren't in his life anymore. Infact nothing like that happened, he went out, enjoyed his nights and even slept around with women who caught his eyes but everytime he had another woman in his bed he saw your face, even if for a brief moment he saw you underneath him, he missed the way your lips tasted and the way you'd always try to hold him when he was fucking you.

He missed waking up with your body on top of him and he missed pretending that he absolutely despised it.

He missed taking you out on dinner dates and watching you squirm in your seat as he'd gift you lavish things, he didn't enjoy putting you through such situations but he wanted to spoil you rotten in the only ways he knew how. Money and sex was the only thing he was capable of offering you so he did his best with what he had.

It's been a few weeks since he had seen you last and it was starting to eat him alive, even though he knew he could walk to your workplace anytime he wanted he never really dared. If you had moved on from him, he wanted to give you space but he always questioned himself if you had indeed moved on or there was a part of you that'd take him back if he was to show up at your door?

....

Like every breakup, this one hurt as well, if you could call it a breakup, your situation was only about to get worse with him every day because you were falling for him more and more while he stayed distant and he didn't feel anything for you or so you convinced yourself.

He had done you a favor by allowing you to get yourself out and you were grateful for that but you couldn't deny that you missed him. When you two weren't fucking like bunnies, he was someone you could go to for advice and he offered one without any sort of judgement whatsoever. In retrospect, your relationship with him might have seemed superficial and carnal but it wasn't, you felt cared for by him even though he had tried his best to not come across that way.

You also knew that he had moved on, Claire told you that she had seen him kissing a woman and then taking her home at the club he often frequented. It hurt alot to hear that but you always knew what this thing was between you two and you weren't expecting him to go celibate after the things fell apart between you two. He had fucked you stupid on the first date as well.

You just felt jealous that you weren't the woman he was sleeping with any longer.

With all those thoughts heavy in your head when you went home that night you weren't really expecting to see Daemon Targaryen. And you especially weren't expecting to see him sitting in front of your apartment door. His hair was all messy, he had his typical casanova attire on, that whorish chain hung loosely on his neck and for some reason you couldn't stop thinking about those women he had fucked in the past few weeks and if they tried to pull him closer in bed by using the chain the way you used to.

"What are you doing here?" You asked him as he stood up and stepped away so you could open the door,

"Just came to see you, you said i could if I wanted to" you looked at him as he said that, there was a fresh bruise on his cheek.

"Fought with someone?"

"Noo ..for once it's a workplace hazard" you smiled as he said that and the corner of his mouth curved as well.

"Want to come in for a cup of coffee?" You asked softly, you didn't know why he was there but it felt good seeing him.

"Sure" as you both entered you turned the lights on and put your bag down on the couch, he wanted to grab your arm and pull you into his chest, he wanted to kiss you but he controlled his desires, he didn't know if you were still willing to take his damaged self back into your life. But If you were willing to suffer with him he knew he'd have to make a few changes and sacrifices if he wanted to keep you in his life. He followed you into the kitchen and leaned against the refrigerator,

"I'm sorry I don't have the coffee machine ..in case if you haven't noticed.. would you mind if I serve you an instant one?" He smiled as he looked around, he knew what he was going to buy tomorrow.

"Don't mind one bit" he answered so you put the kettle on boil,

"Sooo how have you been?" You asked him sheepishly

"Same as I used to be, how are you darling?"

"Sameee" you smiled. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. "Ummm Claire told me that she saw you at the club one night"

"Huhhh? Did she tell you that she tried to hit on me?" You looked at him wide eyed and mouth opened as he said that,

"She did what?" Your pitch got higher as you questioned him.

"I didn't reciprocate" you shrugged and focused your eyes on the kettle.

"Well you could have..it's..it's not that..i mean..we were not--" before you could stutter more he interrupted you.

"I won't fuck a lady you work with darling" you looked at him as he said that, he was always sincere and honest with you about these things. He respected you and gave you his loyalty when he absolutely didn't have to, you weren't surprised that he chose to not sleep with Claire but it still felt good.

"But you fucked other women?"

"Mmmhmmm..I'm just a warm blooded man..we are the worst breed of all" you chuckled as he said that.

He suddenly closed the distance between you two and turned you towards him.

"I have missed you" you tilted your head up since you didn't have your heels on and looked into his eyes as he said that.

"You have?" You gulped, your voice was trembling with anticipation.

Did he want to give this a try?

"I should have come that day but I was terrified. You were right, I have several issues but ..when I was with you.. for a little while I was able to look past my past and just be with you" your eyes welled up as he said that, you had never seen him be this way with you so it was a little overwhelming but not in a bad way.

"I thought I was showing you mercy, didn't want a lady like you to get caught up in my mess so I spared you..but i haven't stopped thinking about you..you're all i have thought of these past few weeks" he mumbled softly and you sniffled, your voice choked on your own tears as you spoke to him.

"You shouldn't make my decisions for me"

"I know..it wasn't just about you, I'm scared ..of this thing between us" he wasn't looking at you anymore and his gaze was fixated on the floor so you grabbed the hem of his jacket and pulled him closer.

"You can take your time with me Daemon, build trust slowly and we will see where it goes, small steps okay?" You mumbled softly so he nodded and hugged you the same way he had done that morning, he was so tall so he had to bend down just to put his head on your shoulder. You wrapped your arms around his neck and your face snuggled between his neck, he always smelled like cigarette and bergamot.

You had no idea where this would go from here, he was traumatized from his past but you didn't want to get scared by that knowledge, you wanted to be there for him and help him cope.

"Tell me what you want from me, tell me something so I'm careful around you, I don't want to hurt you" his arm wrapped around your waist and he placed his forehead on yours, his eyes were closed and he was thinking about what and how he wanted to move forward with you.

He just wanted momentarily peace, for the voices in his head to stop screaming but he knew he had to talk about this with you and he had to do it now.

"I'm not sure what I want..but I know what I don't want from you, and I'll tell you all about them but I need you to know that I'm not going to be the best man that can be out there for you..Do you still want this? Us? Want me when you deserve so much more? So much better?" his fingers curled into your hair and he pulled your head behind to make you look at him.

A relationship or whatever he wanted to name this thing between you two won't be easy, you knew that but you had to take a chance for once in your life. You have always played safe and being with him was not any less dangerous than playing with the fire itself but for once in your life you weren't afraid to get burned.

"I want you..I want us"

And whenever that would happen you only hoped that he'd be there to lick your wounds and kiss it better

❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️

Note : it's not the end, there are a few more chapters

Taglist (please check your setting if I’m not able to tag you)

@simbaaas-stuff @ajthefujoshi

[youwerenevermeanttofeelalone]

Christmas Morning | Jason Todd

✦ pairing — Jason Todd x female!Plus Size Reader

✦ word count — 1k

✦ request — Jason, spending their first Christmas living together and fem reader gifting Jason something she made that she knew he’d really like with him saying something like “you didn’t have to do this for me”. It can be a portrait of them together that she painted or commissioned.

✦ warnings — mentions of sharing clothes but Jason is huge so !!!, fluff.

✦ author's note — I know this is late, but my health and a family thing got in the way. I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

════════════════════════

You woke up as someone hovered over you. A kink on your neck prohibited you from turning quickly, and you couldn't shake sleep off your eyes.

Jason's voice filled your ears before you panicked, “Go back to sleep, baby.”

In reflex, you glanced at the window. Your eyesight hadn't improved as sleep hadn't really left as you had hoped. You could tell the sun wasn't up yet though. “Everything okay?”

He hummed. “Sleep. I'll join you in just a moment.” Jason turned in the direction of the bedroom. He then came back, shaking his head. “What am I doing? Come to bed.”

You groaned, already warm albeit awkwardly laying on the couch. He helped you untangle from the blanket, surprisingly stopping himself from chastising you for trying to wait up for him.

“Jay!”

“Mmh?”

“It's Christmas!”

He laughed lightheartedly. “Yes, honey, I know.”

“You should open your gift.”

“You wanna open gifts before going to bed?”

“Please?”

“Okay. Let me get changed at least, yeah?”

“I’ll make coffee!” you announced, already on your way to the kitchen.

The apartment wasn’t the biggest place in the world, but it was the first place you had truly called home. Jason made that happen. He made your life more bearable since you met him just being in it.

Oh, you just couldn’t wait to see his face when he opened his gift.

Coffee was still blooming when Jason wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you into his chest. You relaxed as he pressed his front against your back, sighing happily when he kissed your head.

"Slow night?"

"Kind of. I bet tomorrow's gonna be hell."

“Tonight, technically.”

“Well, if we’re being smartasses, it’s tomorrow because it gets busier after midnight.”

You groaned. “Can’t you let me win on Christmas?”

“No.” He kissed your head again. “We can’t put our traditions to the side because it’s Christmas.”

“Are you calling your girlfriend a loser?” He tightened his arm around you as you tried to reach the cupboard. “Move, let me get some mugs.”

“I’ll get them.” He pushed you into the counter, pressing himself flush to your backside as he pretended to struggle to reach the mugs with his already long arms. You laughed, and so did he as you hurried to fill the mugs with coffee. “You’re my loser, by the way.”

“Mmhmm.” Wagging your butt, you said, “Move. Your gift is waiting.”

“And here I thought you were the gift.”

“You didn’t just say that.”

Jason removed his arm from your waist and picked up both mugs. “Let’s pretend I didn’t.”

You followed him into the living room, giggling. You giggled even harder when you found him pouting, feigning offense over your laugh at his corniness as if it was the first time either of you teased each other.

God, you loved him.

“Go on,” you encouraged him, sitting next to him on the couch and picking up your coffee.

“Me first?”

“Yes, yes, yes!”

As if teasing you, he opened the small gift you had gotten him first, when you thought you wouldn’t get the one you had planned from the beginning in time.

“Jason, come on! You know which one I meant.”

“Okay. I love the jacket, though. Let’s see how long it takes you to steal it.”

“I got a similar one for me, you dick.”

He glared at you. “How dare you? Are my clothes not enough for you now?”

You playfully hit his arm. “Can you please just open the other gift? I really want to see if you like it.”

“Of course I’m going to like it, baby, it’s from you.”

If only he knew how badly you wanted that to be the truth.

He tested the weight of the item, giving you a quizzical look when he shook it and nothing rattled. Now intrigued, Jason ripped the wrapping paper.

Whatever he had been expecting, a portrait of you both mustn’t have been one.

You always took photos together and you loved them. There was something about having his face all over that made things a little bit better. A reminder that you had someone to love, someone at home to wait for, someone to laugh and share secrets with.

Naturally, you drew him a lot. He was your favorite thing to sketch out as practice, when you were bored, or when you were trying out new supplies.

So you coaxed him into picking his favorite photo of you both and tried recreating it in different mediums until you found the perfect one.

And now he knew why you insisted that he had to pick one from the hundreds you showed him on your laptop a couple of months ago.

His eyes didn’t leave the painting as he said, in such a soft voice you could have cried, “You didn’t have to do this for me.”

“I wanted to.”

“Fuck,” he laughed. “I look so handsome.”

“You are.”

“And look at you, so fucking pretty.” He gazed up at you, resting the painting on his lap. “You’re so talented, baby. I don’t deserve this, but I’m not complaining.”

You briefly kissed his lips. “Shut up. You deserve everything I give you and more.”

He smiled, immediately going for another kiss. He interrupted it though, too excited to be thinking about kissing his girlfriend who loved him dearly. “Where are we hanging it?” he asked excitedly. “Here? Yeah, here, so everybody can see it.”

“Wherever you want, babe, it’s yours.”

“I’ll get something to hang it tomorrow,” he announced, eyes trailing down to the painting once again.

“I’m so relieved you like it,” you admitted.

“Like it?” He sounded offended. “Love it, more like.”

“Well, I see that now, but—”

He gently put the painting down so he could reach over and hug you. You hugged him back, resting your head against his, pulling him as close as you could.

Before you could speak, before you could remind him just how much you loved him, Jason said, “It’s the best thing I’ve seen since I met you.”

He was warm and smelled of the moisturizer he always stole from you. “I know I don’t have to say it, but I love you. I hope it’s been a good Christmas.”

“It’s been the best,” he assured you. Kissing your face, he added, “And it’s getting even better because it’s your turn to open your gifts.”

You nuzzled against him. “Five more minutes.”

“Ten if you want.”

He tightened his hold on you.

[grapefruit-personified]

Let’s be clear then backlash and bullying/harassment are not the same thing and I’m hoping the tumblr community doesn’t stoop to her level of hateful. And as i stated it takes us nothing to block her instead of doing this unfortunately i think you and I both know exactly how toxic this fanbase can be. And I’m not making excuses for her but i do not condone the behaviors that this will be/is already starting to lead to because guess what that’s literally just as bad. The same we we want to shield kids from her what are we expecting when those kids read the hate filled comments that people are posting as well? I’m just hoping they don’t start going into the other type of hate comments that usually get posted when this stuff comes out. Two wrongs don’t make it right. And if we really want to get into it i remember when Tobin was liking Tweets and things that were homophobic and as time went on i stopped seeing her post about it and I noticed those statements were deleted (mind you that was before 2015 and I had done a deep dive, yes i am that kind of a bitch where I do deep dives). Now look she’s happy with Christen. I’m not excusing anything but people can grow up and we see it time and time again with players. We can hold individuals accountable without as you said stooping to her level and showing kids that when we disagree with someone’s views it’s okay to be just as hateful to them if not more hateful. Also why not use our resources to show kids that if something or someone is offensive to you there are ways to filter and block those people so they don’t pop-up on their feed, making sure kids know there are resources and safe spaces available for them when they need it, and most importantly showing them that you can disagree with people without being hateful or harassing someone. So I truly hope the toxic side of this fanbase doesn’t stoop to her level of toxicity.

Firstly, I don’t really enjoy the energy you bring to this conversation. Secondly it is a lot of just block her, ignore it, that does nothing but show she can post what she wants and no one will say anything. Someone posting and liking things nearly a decade ago when the conversation around these topics and the views of many were very different are no where near the same as if you are liking and sharing it in current day. I personally don’t go onto twitter so I don’t know what people say on there but everything I’ve seen on here has been a critic of what she has shared and said. No one has been bullying her.

I’ll be blunt it does sound a lot like you want people to just ignore what she said. Let her be toxic. Let her be harmful but just block her even tho that does nothing when it comes to people screenshooting and resharing, it does nothing when it comes to her seeing consequences of her actions. I don’t agree with bullying her for things like her appearance or her playing ability, but letting her know that the majority of the fan base she directly benefits from disagrees and dislikes her is different.

[babyjakes]

〈 disclaimer: this blog posts content not suitable for individuals under the age of 18. minors are strictly prohibited from viewing, sharing, or interacting with this blog. for more information on this blog's commitment to protecting minors, read our full statement here. 〉

event | whumptember 2022

prompt | bullying

pairing | steve rogers x avenger!reader

warnings | this is an anti-tony fic 😌, bullying/harassment (no specifics tho), other avengers being a little oblivious, protective!steve, idk what steve and reader’s relationship is so that’s up to you, umm this one might suck lol sorry 🤠

word count | 566

surprise surprise, eun writes a steve thing where tony’s the bad guy 😵‍💫

okay so reader’s fairly new to the team. young, a little unsure of herself, still learning how to get along with the group. and for whatever reason, tony detects her insecurity and completely takes advantage of it, exploiting her innocence and inexperience for the sake of his bad taste in jokes.

most of the team are used to him doing this by now, but with reader it’s a little more severe which is what first has steve put off about it. the others kind of laugh along, very rarely calling tony out on his gross behavior bc reader is a champ at taking the hits and does her best to not let her hurt show.

but steve’s particularly observant, and worried. he notices the way reader has sort of began to shrink into herself, becoming less and less good at hiding her discomfort and offense. the others don’t pay any attention to it, they’ve got other stuff on their mind. but not steve.

maybe one night it all comes to a head at a team meeting where tony just takes it a step too far, making some obscenely offensive remark about reader. not just a light jab— it’s something personal. reader rises from her seat at the long table, tears flooding her eyes before she can blink them back. she leaves swiftly and wordlessly.

tony tries to act surprised, scoffing at her reaction and making some comment under his breath about how she’s “too sensitive” and should “learn to take a joke”

at this point steve is pissed‼️ “or maybe you should learn to make jokes that don’t come at others’ expense, stark.”

“oh look, now cap’s swooping in to defend her; give me a break. it wasn’t that bad. right guys? right…?” looking around the room, tony turns a little paler when he realizes no one’s exactly jumping at the chance to back him up

steve doesn’t spend more time trying to argue with tony. nat speaks up and starts to explain the issue as he leaves the room, going off to look for reader. he finds her crying down at the end of a hallway 🥺

“oh y/n…” his voice is soft as he approaches. “come here. it’s okay, let’s go find somewhere better to talk.” he takes her hand and guides her gently to the elevators, bringing her up to the lounge.

they sit on the couch together and steve listens patiently as reader recounts through tears her past several weeks of hell. the harassment was even worse than steve had thought; he had no idea there were things happening in private. “sweetheart, we’re gonna get this figured out. i won’t let him do this to you anymore, y/n. i can’t stand the way he treats you”

“i-i tried, steve. i swear i tried to brush it all off and not let it hurt me” but steve understands, some of the stuff tony was saying and doing was truly horrendous

“you don’t have to brush it off, y/n. we’re a team. we’re supposed to be lifting each other up, not tearing each other down. he’s fixated on you for whatever reason this time, but it’s not okay. this stops here, y/n. i promise you”

byeeeee i kind of struggled with this prompt and idk this hc feels a little 🥴🥴

[deaneverafter]

Carrion Comfort

Episode thoughts dropping 2 days late because I was too busy having Emotions™️ and rewatching the episode? More likely than you'd think 💖🤣

I've said this before, and I'll say it again, I am really, really loving the episode cases, and the vibes that come along with them. This episode especially was so creepy! Everyone say thank you, Jensen Ackles 🥂

The car scene.

The way Beau was looking at Jenny before asking her if she's okay says so much 🥺 He's so worried 😭 I can't wait for him to realize he's fallen for her 💕

Right after the walkthrough of the crime scene.

I love how Beau's clearly been working to help make the whole department run smoothly, make everyone feel useful and appreciated, he's such a good boss ✊🏻

Precinct scene.

Cassie Dewell, aka, the only Cass I know 😊 And she wouldn't leave her friends for dead because they didn't return her feelings 💛

I want to see Beau's 10 year old photo for the department website (and I want someone to acknowledge that it doesn't look 10 years older, because he looks the same) 💖

Cassie watching Beau and Jenny flirt and bicker like a married couple, like 👀😏 She ships it 💫 Love a supportive best friend, who just wants her two friends to have happiness and love in their lives 🥺

"Is that a werewolf? That's a first for me." Bestie- 🥺💖 Jensen bringing Dean with him everywhere he goes, and I'm on the floor in my feels, sobbing 😌💟

Ugh, Carla.

Carla divorced Beau which means that he's not obligated to tell her anything or practice his "communication skills" with her 🙄 The entitlement is real. Truly canNOT stand this woman, she's so mean and passive aggressive and dismissive towards Beau, as well as condescending and rude towards Jenny 😒 She really came in and insulted both my favourite people in the span of one and a half minute, oh, and yeah, remember when she broke Beau's whole heart? And continues to make him feel small and sad? Yeah, to say I don't like her is an understatement.

Jenny defending Beau against Carla was such a nice moment, and just another reason she's the best, and why her and Beau are the perfect match. She actually cares about him, respects and understands him. Next time Carla is being rude and mean, I hope she doesn't care about being polite and wipes the floor with Carla. Would also love to see her about to punch her, and then Beau holds her back, because he can't have his undersheriff getting charged and we get another unintentionally intimate moment, before he cheekily thanks her for defending his honour 💅🏻💖

Here's to hoping something dramatic happens before Emily comes to stay with Beau, to prevent it, I can't stomach even the thought of putting up with her insulting and dismissing Beau for a whole episode 😣😒 And him spending the whole episode looking heartbroken and sad and on the verge of tears 😭

Big Sky, Season 2, Episode 18, Catch a Few Fish

Jenny: and lemme guess, you're still in love with her

Beau: 😐😶

Big Sky, Deadly Trails, Season 3, Episode 4, Carrion Comfort

Jenny: you're still in love with her

Beau: No, I'm not. No. Stop it.

And I, for one, believe him. Especially since I'm still trying to understand what he saw in her in the first place. She's so mean!

Also, Jenny once again trying to gauge Beau's feelings for someone else by teasing him? Just for fun, no reason whatsoever? Just out of curiosity? 👀 Mm-mm, she wants to know if her heart will be safe with him if she lets herself fully fall (because deep down she's already fallen, all that's left to do is admit it) 😌

Glamping Shenanigans.

Full offense, but I'd much rather watch more about Luke and Paige and their past (criminal?) activities, than Emily whining and sticking her nose where it doesn't belong every episode. Paige and Luke aren't likable at all, but they ARE interesting. Emily is annoying AND boring. And she keeps getting exponentially more obnoxious every episode.

Cassie and Cormac.

They are my, er, second "one" true pairing (after Jenny/Beau, of course). I really wasn't expecting to ship someone with Cassie this soon after Lindor after they broke up right after getting together after a one and a half season long burn, but I am rooting for these two for sure 👌🏻

Donno and Tonya.

Am I finding myself shipping Tonya and Donno or......? I mean, I could definitely be okay with them just being friends and partners, but...... I don't know, it could be tipped over to romance very easily 👀

Sunny and Walt.

Wow, Walt really had me feeling bad for a minute there, I was like, damn, he did kill Mark, but maybe he didn't mean to......? But nah, this man is full-on Menace in the Woods 😱🔪 And I would not be surprised if Sunny and Walt became a full on killing team, they're both so unhinged! 💯

The Cutter House. Part I.

Beau patting Jenny on the shoulder entering the house had no tactical reason, so I just love that they're such a team, so concerned for each other, that he did it to reassure her he's there, he's okay, he's got her back 🥺💕

The Cutter House. Part II, aka, The Scene™️.

Them fighting the killer, Beau and Jenny are so badass and such a perfect team 💅🏻

Beau fighting to protect himself versus Beau after the creep attacked Jenny, he was much more intense during the latter, I love the increased intensity and drive. He really said no one touches my girl 😡 and I love that 💖💕💫

Every time she thinks Beau got hurt, Jenny gets so worried, everything else loses focus. She rushed to him, completely forgetting the suspect, and if that's not love... 💕 and how gentle she is checking his wound, touching it so gingerly 🥺 True loveism 💝💖

It's so perfect how in sync they are, Beau knew he could count on Jenny to know why he'd turned her around, and Jenny trusted him and instinctually knew why, she realized exactly what he was doing. And him, physically having her back, holding her steady 🥺💝 Plus, the way it ended with them holding on to each other 💯 They're so sexy for that 🔥💕

There's also a moment where it looks like Beau might've been reaching for Jenny's hand, so maybe one of the takes had them shooting together and I'd love to see that outtake, though I do love how it actually played out, with complete trust and them in sync 🥺

I also love how they just stay in this position just a minute longer than necessary, letting themselves be support for the other, letting themselves take comfort from the other, just breathing together for a moment 🥺💟

Also, is it just me or did Jenny just absolutely melt back into Beau once they both knew the danger was averted? 🥺💖 I love the trust they have. And the 💫 tension 💫

And this moment when they're both still breathless, and Beau feels the intimacy of the situation and Jenny just leans back into him, when he's finally looking at her, I think he's realizing he's fallen for her, irrevocably 🥺💕

I just, I love this scene a lot. And I really love that the scene is so warm and wholesome with their trust and teamwork, but also really hot and has a lot of tension! It's everything to me, and I just love how it was written and played so well, such a perfect balance of emotional vulnerability and display of feelings, and physical tension 🥺💖

The Hospital Scene.

Jenny reassuring Beau about how good of a dad he is 🥺 He deserves to be around people who appreciate and respect him so much 💛

The more episodes go by without Beau calling her "Jenny" and only "Hoyt", even though he called her Jenny during the premiere, the more I become convinced that he's already in love, but denying it to himself (until he just can't 👀). Although, he didn't call her Hoyt after the fight scene, might that be more evidence my man's catching on to how he feels about Jenny.....? 🥺👀

Beau, my beloved.

Beau really is the whole package. Kind, funny, handsome, caring & THIS good at his job? His instincts about the murder not being random were right, and when he was looking at the photos, his gut knew it was important, even when he didn't have all the pieces to know why 🏆💯🥰❤

He used to build houses in the summers? And knows about antiques? I love a multitalented and multifaceted king 🥺 I want to hear more about his backstory, his parents/siblings, his hobbies, what he likes to do in his free time. Just, more about him in general. I truly do love him with my whole heart 💖

"Wow, Beau was extra handsome and charming this episode 🥰❤" <- me after literally every single episode 🤣

[bitchywitchyvibes666]

Late night love

Your pov ~~

My legs dangled over the edge of the school roof as I watched the cars below, rushing around even in the dead of the night. The bitter wind making me shiver as I watched and wondered if they felt the same, where they up this late because their mind wouldn’t sleep? Are they trying to out run their destructive thoughts too? 

I got so lost in my mind that I didn’t even hear someone come onto the roof or even hear them walk up to me, it wasn’t until the purple hoodie wrapped itself around my shoulders. I looked over my shoulder to look into the most exhausted purple eyes I’d ever seen. He said nothing as he moved to join me, his eyes focused on the ground below. 

All I could do was stare and take in his profile, even if he didn’t know it he was truly a gorgeous man. Hitoshi Shinso was a certain type of beautiful, the type that I’d only read about in books, the type that made my heart stop and race all at the same thing. His beautiful was uncompilable to every other guy in UA, his purple hair and his eyes, god his eyes. The sharpness of his jaw bone and the way his lips form the words he speaks. 

It wasn’t just his looks that made his pretty, his was his bluntness, the way he spoke, the words he used, the look in his eyes whenever faced with social interaction. He hated it just as much as me, if not more. 

“Couldn’t you sleep? You really should try to, your eye bags are getting bad again” God why did I have to say that? I could of just left that out now he’s going to think I’m calling him ugly which is definitely not the case. 

His lips quirked lightly as the blush travelled up my neck to my ears, at least he didn’t take offense to that so that’s one good thing I’ve done today. I went back to watching the world below me, getting so lost in my own world I completely forgot there was something with me until he nudged my arm. 

I looked over to find indigo eyes staring back at me, a small smile on his face as I tilted my head to the side wondering what he wanted from me. Did I do something weird? Oh god is he actually offended by what I said? 

“You okay? You should be asleep too but you’re awake and lost in your own world” 

I just stared at him, he actually cared if I was okay? I teared up a little as I looked down at my lap, I couldn’t remember the last time someone cared enough to ask if I was okay. I didn’t even have to stay anything as he moved over to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his side as I cried. 

I was thankful that he didn’t say anything and even more thankful that he was there to hold me, like he was the only thing that was holding me together. He just held me and after awhile just gave me a faint whisper of “It’s okay, I’m here I promise” 

I let out a small almost pitiful laugh as I whipped my face with the hoodie’s sleeve and moved away from him. Before I could even started to apologise he he placed his warm, slightly rough hands on my damp cheeks and started into my eyes and spoke all my unsaid thoughts. 

“Don’t start apologising for this, you needed this and I’m more than happy to be the one here with you. We don’t have to talk, we don’t have to go back to our rooms yet, we can just sit here and enjoy the live around us for a bit” 

All I could do was give him a smile and a nod, that sounded like the greatest thing I could ever take part in and to be able to do it was him was a dream. He pulled me back into his side and watched the world go by below us. While he watched the world I watched him, I watched the way his hair moved in the wind, the way his lips sat like a perfect bow on his face, the way his eyes light up in the lights from the city below. 

I leaned into him as I started to shift my glaze to the world below, this was the greatest late night I’d ever had and it was all thanks to the love that Hitoshi managed to give me without even knowing it. 

[wonderland-library]

A Good Girls Guide To Murder

To start, I'd like to clarify some things. Everything written here is simply my own opinion. I do not mean any offense, but this is my review and by reading this, you are reading my raw opinion on the book/books. So, don't get mad at me just because you didn't like what I said. 

TW: spoilers, mentions of murder, rape, suicide, etc if these topics or topics like such is not your thing please do not read or try another review instead

Okay, let's begin. I will be talking about each book in the series and slowly linking them.

To start with the first book, I'd say it was a good book. Although my thoughts of the book before reading it completely differed from what the book is, considering the given hype. To say I didn't do my research before reading was an understatement. I thought I'd be reading a romance book with something like a

"A girl goes missing five years ago and the alleged killer suicide when things get hot so the police direct him as the killer although evidence of that is meek, high school student with a school project uncovers the truth with the alleged killer's brother but things get complicated with the brother Ravi Singh as feelings are brought to the surface"

see I know this sounds about right but in reality, it was just Pippa and Ravi uncovering the mystery. The amount of romance in that book was just as much as there is evidence that Sal is the killer but from my understanding, that's a fault on my part for not doing my research. 

The book, in general, was great the storyline kept me hooked and although the book wasn't as realistic as I hoped it would be, in the way it reminded me of all usual murder mystery plots everything goes well until in the end, something is not right 'it doesn't feel right/doesn't make sense'

she gets dizzy one night and everything just sorta comes to her and she knows who the killer is although the slight plot-twist that it was Bella was interesting even more so that sal was murdered and not suicide I felt like in proper cases you'd truthfully have a lot more 'so what next' or more stops and bumps in the road I also felt like Pippa made a lot of assumptions without too much evidence which just turned out to be right. In which the da SiIva family sorta proves.

I did find the uncovering of Andie Bells' true face / real personality entertaining and I'm not so sure it lives up to the hype it's an amazing book don't get me wrong beautifully written but with the hype I hoped more would come from it but that's probably cause I'm a huge romance fan and there wasn't much romance at all. Other than Sal, Andie, Pippa, and Ravi / main characters. Which speaking of we didn't learn much about everyone else from the first book,

okay so about the second book,

I kinda felt like you know how there are certain series or shows where the first season takes off and to keep people hooked they add another season that's just not as good as the first season its a sort of a very slight unnessicary drag of the story I wouldn't apply it to the book much but in the beginning, it was a bit slow and slightly dragged I think it might be because Pippa doesn't have the same excitement as the first time as this time it's more forced and a bit frantic less organized and so it feels a BIT (I SAID A BIT FOR A REASON)

like a drag of the first book more than a continuation. But after a while things start to look up and Pippa has her first well-deserved breakdown, it gets really interesting from there 'What truly happened to Jamie' rings in my head, and after I finished the book I was.... overwhelmed. sad? slightly disappointed? I was sad for Stanly as I don't think he deserved to die, disappointed as I was kinda hoping Jamie would be dead not that he was being kept in a house not so against his will, there was also less mystery-solving compared to the first book which had quite the angst? is that the word? Somewhere there also not a lot of damage was done to Pippa besides her sanity.

But the way they wrote her trauma was beautiful. but we did learn a bit more about the background characters which was fun.

now about the third book,

where do I even start um it was a mess, not the book but Pippa. She was an absolute mess. I love the sense of urgency she had for just peace in general to the fact that she went to drugs and tried keeping busy with a new case as a coping system. The PTSD/trauma was written nicely I feel it was more on the realistic side. Jason taunting her and ending up being the DT killer was a seep into the darkness of the Bell family and their mental issues.

I would have loved to hear more about that dark part of the Bell family there is a messed history or story there, the youngest daughter accidentally kills her sister who was a mean girl from a shit abusive family and ruined other people's lives (nat), had a thing with her teacher so she could get into yale, dealing drugs with the guy who raped her sister. Her dad was a serial killer too so there is something deeply wrong with the family which I wished there was a deeper dive into.

besides that everyone is talking about how the third book is a literal guide to murder which I get but I feel like it wasn't realistic in the sense you don't just kill someone and be as calm as Pippa was (ik she wasnt calm but comparatively she was calmer than she should have been) I get she had to be but that area of the book was much less frantic compared to the ptsd trauma she went through by seeing and having a dead guys blood on her arms. like that makes no sense I mean she was nervous and scared but not as much as she should have been same with Ravi why was he so calm about everything I would have freaked out. hence why I say it wasn't realistic enough for me but moving on

I did enjoy the ending when she left everyone till the trial and when Ravi contacted her but again I'm a sucker for romance 

summary:

so basically it was a good book but way too hyped beautifully written but if I'm being honest as good as it was I'm probably not gonna think about this book very often it was fun to read I would definitely recommend it but it is over-hyped. 

which ends the review of 'A Good Girls Guide to Murder' by Holly Jackson

if you would like me to write a review of any specific book or books you can contact me at Thewonderlandlibraryofficial@gmail.com OR ownerofthewonderlandlibrary@gmail.com OR  thewonderland_library on instagram. The wonderland library is a blog as well as a online digital library all you have to do is name the book you want i will personally send you the pdf, epub, mobi, etc or i can even send it directly to your kindle if you have one. 

[little-mad]

Red-Handed Doll in a Little Blue House

Part 3/?

Click here to go to the last part

Wyatt felt as though he wasn’t fully present in his body as he pulled away from that little window and moved around to the front of the dollhouse. Half of his brain was focused on completing movements and carrying out intentions, meanwhile the other half was still trying to comprehend the fact that one of his new neighbors was currently standing inside of the dollhouse he had recently purchased from a garage sale. 

“This feels like an episode of the Twilight Zone,” he thought to himself. Surely any minute now Rod Sterling would come out and explain whatever moral lesson they were trying to teach. 

Wyatt reached for the small silver latch on the front edge of the house. He had examined the hinge mechanism closely prior to purchasing it from Mrs. Morrison, so he knew how it worked. Unlike some of the other pieces in his collection, this house did not open in the middle, meaning when he opened it up, no floor would come along with the front wall. 

“Just stay close to the back,” he called out as he undid the latch. Something told him someone of her size falling from that height would be extremely hazardous. 

Slowly, Wyatt began to pull open the front wall of the house. He kept his free hand poised and ready to catch any furniture or tiny people that may come tumbling out.

Under normal circumstances, Wyatt would have been carefully observing the beautiful interior of the house and gorgeous furniture, but this time around his attention was entirely captured by the miniature woman standing inside the bedroom.

With all barriers removed, she somehow looked even smaller, despite the fact that she fit right in with the dollhouse. It was bizarre, she seemed to be the perfect size for the house, almost like it was made for her or something. 

“Okay uh-” Wyatt stopped dead, suddenly realizing he had no idea what this person’s name was. He could vaguely recall Mrs. Morrison saying her name, but what exactly it was that she’d said totally evaded him. “Sorry, what was your name?”

She stood with her back still firmly pressed against the back wall and showed no indication of moving. Her deep brown eyes were blown wide, causing her to resemble a frightened chipmunk; although, a chipmunk might actually be bigger than her at this point. 

For a moment she just stared out at Wyatt, and he began to wonder whether she’d heard him or not. Just when he was about to ask the question again, she seemed to shake herself out of whatever reverie she had been caught up in. 

“It’s…it’s Sandra, Sandra Kasteros.”

The Kasteros family, Wyatt remembered his aunt and uncle mentioning them in the rundown of all the residents of King Street they’d given him prior to his move-in. From what he could recall, the parents now had their house to themselves after their two daughters had moved out, except for when the youngest came home from college that is. Wyatt was going to assume Sandra here was the youngest. 

“Okay, Sandra, I’m Wyatt if you didn’t already know.” He supposed he shouldn’t assume she’d remembered his name when he hadn’t remembered hers. “Um, do you want me to call your parents?” 

Wyatt truly had no idea how he was supposed to handle this situation. Believe or not, he’d never had a tiny person pop up inside any of his dollhouses before. Considering he didn’t even know this woman beyond a brief confrontation the day before, it seemed the best idea to let her family take care of it. He had never asked to be wrapped up in this nonsense after all. 

Sandra, on the other hand, didn’t seem to share his opinion. She was shaking her head vigorously and had finally taken a couple steps away from the wall. “No way, you cannot tell them!” she hissed. “My mom would go all crazy overprotective and my dad would probably have another heart attack!”

Wyatt’s eyebrows shot up. “What exactly do you want to do then, because, no offense, but I didn’t know when I bought this house that I was signing up to babysit a tiny person.” 

A deep scowl took shape on Sandra’s face as she folded her arms over her chest. She was beginning to resemble the version of herself Wyatt had met yesterday. “Who said I need babysitting?”

“Uh, I think your size said it for you.” 

Sandra gave an indignant scoff. “Oh please, I’ll figure this bullshit out on my own, don’t you worry your pretty little head about me.” 

“Is she serious??” Wyatt thought to himself. She had to be delusional if she actually thought she could handle this situation by herself. He doubted she’d even be able to make it down from the table on her own. 

“Have you seen yourself? You wouldn’t last a minute on your own,” Wyatt stated, now mirroring her crossed arms. 

It was obvious Sandra very much wanted to protest that statement. She opened her mouth as if she was about to unleash a lengthy diatribe about how she didn’t need any help; however, at the last second she seemed to stop herself. Her mouth slowly closed, but the scowl on her face deepened. 

This woman was stubborn, that much had become quite clear to Wyatt. It was a trait that would likely prove quite difficult to put up with, but Wyatt could be stubborn too. If Sandra didn’t want to tell her parents then fine, he wouldn’t force her, but he wasn’t about to let a four inch tall person go wandering off into the world on their own, no matter how much she may wish to. 

Wyatt sighed. “Listen, I’m not trying to be a dick here. I won’t make you tell your parents about this, but I’m not gonna let you go off on your own either.” 

Sandra shook her head. “You said it yourself, you didn’t sign up for this, I’m not gonna-”

“Hold on,” Wyatt interrupted. “I’m not going to agree to let you stay here indefinitely, but I will make a deal with you.” He was well aware that he hadn’t thought this whole plan through, and yet for some reason he was going through with it anyways. “You can stay at my place for three days, and if we haven’t figured your…situation out by then, I’m calling your parents and letting them know what happened regardless of what you want.”

Realistically, Wyatt had no idea how he was going to manage taking care of a tiny person for three days, because no matter what Sandra said, there was absolutely no way she could look after herself. As nice as the dollhouse was, he doubted it was equipped with working plumbing, appliances, or a fully stocked kitchen. 

Wyatt was an only child, meaning no little siblings or even little nieces and nephews that he had experience taking care of. His mom was allergic to dogs, so the only pets he’d had growing up had been cats, who were largely independent creatures. By all standards, he was entirely unprepared for the undertaking that was keeping a living thing alive.

Now standing at the end of the miniature bed, Sandra looked out at Wyatt with a contemplative expression on her face. At the very least she looked less waspish, hopefully that meant she was going to think about things rationally now. If she decided not to accept the deal and tried to set out on her own, Wyatt would have no choice but to force her to stay, which he was certain would be very unpleasant for both parties. 

Wyatt watched on silently as Sandra mulled the deal over. If he had to guess, he would say she was torn. She probably knew it was the best offer she was going to get, but likely didn't like the prospect of her parents finding out about the situation if she failed to find a solution within three days. 

Finally, after several long moments, Sandra blew out a relenting sigh. “Fine, I’ll take your deal.” She kept her arms folded over her chest, as if to signal to Wyatt that she still wasn’t entirely happy with the arrangement. “But I meant what I said before, I don’t need a babysitter and I definitely don’t want you treating me like some kind of charity case.” 

“I swear she doesn’t realize how vulnerable she is right now.” Wyatt kept the thought to himself rather than voicing it aloud; he didn’t want to stir up another argument so soon. 

He understood Sandra’s desire for independence, he really did. He was sure if he were in her position, he would be averse to giving up his autonomy as well. That being said, she needed to be realistic. If she wanted to have any chance of surviving even just three days, she would need his help to do it. Stubbornness could only get you so far.

—

Ever since one of the room’s walls had been effortlessly pulled away, I had been fighting against base instincts that urged me to run and hide. The terror of being in the presence of someone far larger than myself was multiplied several times over without any form of barrier between us. I felt raw and exposed, and I despised it. 

Things had gotten even scarier when Wyatt had suggested calling my parents and telling them about my “condition.” I was positive neither of them would react well to the news that their daughter had shrunken down to the size of a doll, not to mention the fact that the idea of anyone I actually knew seeing me like this made me sick to my stomach. 

Thankfully, I had managed to talk Wyatt out of contacting my parents, even if only for three days. I had no clue what the chances of me turning back to normal within three days were, but my options were pretty limited. Despite what I’d said to Wyatt, I knew going off on my own would be…less than ideal. Still, I wasn’t about to allow myself to be treated like some kind of weak, defenseless creature. 

“So,” I flinched as Wyatt reached to the side out of my view and pulled back a massive chair, “you really just woke up inside the house, then?” He sat in the chair backwards with his arms resting on the wooden back. 

My heart was racing from just witnessing that simple movement. Everything he did was just so damn big. It was like watching a force of nature happen right before my eyes. 

It took me a moment to process what Wyatt had just said due to the mini heart-attack I had just undergone. I was grateful he didn’t press me to answer quicker, though I could tell from his lifted eyebrows that he had definitely taken note of the delay.

“Oh um, yeah, that’s right.” 

Wyatt pressed his lips together thoughtfully. “What about before that? What do you remember?” 

“Well I-” I stopped myself dead. 

How stupid was I? I couldn’t just admit to this guy that I had been trying to take the dollhouse out from under him, especially not when he was, for all intents and purposes, a giant who could easily crush the life out of me if he so chose. 

“Uh, I was at home…sleeping,” I lied, forcing myself to meet Wyatt’s eyes as I did so. 

Wyatt frowned, and for a split second I could’ve sworn he had somehow caught me in my lie; but then, “This is so bizarre.” He shook his head as if in disbelief. “It’s like you teleported in your sleep.” 

A nervous chuckle forced its way out of me. “Heh yeah, something like that.”  I reached up to rub the back of my neck, eager to do anything with my hands so the compulsion to wring them wouldn’t win out. 

I wasn’t a stranger to lying, but it wasn’t as though it was second nature to me. I stretched the truth from time to time when the situation called for it and I liked to think I was usually fairly convincing, but lying to someone big enough to step on you felt like a whole new ballgame. The stakes were so much higher if I got found out. 

“By the way-” I snapped back to attention at Wyatt’s voice. “Were you wanting to get down from there?” 

My eyes widened. By “get down from there” did he mean come out of the house? I didn’t much like the sound of that. Removing the front wall had been bad enough, stepping outside of the dollhouse altogether would leave me completely exposed to the now gigantic world. Not to mention the fact that the bedroom door wouldn’t open, meaning my only way down would be with Wyatt’s help. Just the thought sent a shiver across my skin. 

“I don’t know,” I muttered, eying Wyatt’s hands nervously. God, they were so big, the whole things were easily longer than my whole body currently was. 

Wyatt, seeming to catch my wary glances towards his hands, began to shake his head. “I didn’t mean like that,” he insisted, almost sounding as opposed to the idea as I was. “I meant you could use the stairs.” 

It was something of a relief that Wyatt didn’t have any plans, or apparently any desires either, to remove me from the house himself. However, he didn’t seem to be aware of the state of the bedroom door. 

“It’s locked, or stuck, or something,” I explained, pointing a thumb towards the door. 

Those large hazel eyes of Wyatt’s shifted towards the wooden door on the side of the bedroom. “Hmm, let me see.” I was given absolutely zero warning before the giant in front of me was launching into motion. 

A near silent yelp escaped me as one of Wyatt’s enormous hands began a swift approach. I stumbled backwards into the corner, bumping into the vanity as I did so. 

The hand continued its advance and before I knew it, it had invaded the space of the room. The juxtaposition smacked me in the face hard. Seeing that human hand next to furniture that felt entirely normal sized to me was…humbling. For the first time, I truly felt like the abnormal one. 

I watched on with wide eyes as the hand fiddled with the bedroom door; the knob completely disappeared under fingertips larger than my head. At first, Wyatt seemed to have just as much luck as I had; however, after a firm push and a jiggle, he managed to shove the door open.

“There we go,” Wyatt remarked as his hand retreated. My racing heart only began to slow once the room was once again free of any giant appendages. “Hopefully that’s the only door like that.” 

Wyatt had resumed his position of resting his arms on the back of his chair. It was only once he had shifted his attention back to me that I realized I was still cowering in the corner of the room. I cleared my throat as I pushed away from the vanity. “Uh, yeah hopefully.” I felt my cheeks warming against my will. 

I needed to get better at regulating my reactions. Now that I knew Wyatt wasn’t strictly out to get me, my fear responses just made me look like an irrational coward and I really couldn’t have that. 

As casually as possible given the circumstances, I made my way across the room to the now open door. I peered through the doorway and was met with the sight of what appeared to be a bathroom. At the back of the room, in front of a curtained window was a white porcelain pedestal sink. A matching white porcelain toilet was located to the right of the door I stood in.

“That’s the powder room,” Wyatt announced and I had to suppress a flinch from the sudden voice. Observing yet another seemingly normal sized room had allowed me to momentarily forget my current situation. 

Like the bedroom, the “powder room,” as Wyatt called it, had a vintage feel to it. Aside from the toilet and sink, there was a floor mirror on the opposite side of the room, a woven hamper in one of the corners, and even a towel bar attached to the wall with a fluffy yellow towel hanging on it. Had I not known better, I might’ve thought it was a real, functioning bathroom. 

Directly across from the door I had just come from was another door that presumably led into another room in the house. This dollhouse was very different from the ones I’d played with as a child. The presence of interior doors was one distinct difference. I suppose it was a detail reserved for higher quality houses than the ones I had experience with. 

“You can get to the stairs in the next room,” Wyatt explained. It was so strange how he had a complete view of the entire house at one time, meanwhile I was restricted to the room I was in. It made Wyatt seem omniscient of something, which really wasn’t helping me to be less intimidated by him.

I made my way across the room to the next door, which thankfully seemed to possess none of the issues the last one had had and swung open easily. The room on the other side was of a similar size to the bedroom, except rather than featuring a bed and vanity, it had a small wooden desk with a matching chair and a side table topped with a cream and gold colored globe.

Taking a few steps further, I could see the very top of a set of stairs at the opposite end of the room. I began to wonder exactly how big this house was. Even when I’d been human sized it had looked pretty big, it would be interesting to see how that translated to someone who could fit inside the place. 

A glance out of the corner of my eye proved that Wyatt was in the same spot as the last time I had checked, his gaze still fixed on me. There didn’t appear to be any kind of malice or ill-intent intended from his continued observation, but the more he did it, the more I felt like a circus freak, or a zoo animal on display or something. It was unnerving. 

I blew out an impatient sigh as I turned around to face the giant man straight on. “Could you stop staring at me like that?” I asked, arms folded over my chest. 

Wyatt’s eyebrows rose up as if to indicate he hadn’t been expecting this kind of reaction from me. “Shouldn’t he know staring is rude, no matter the person’s size?”

Of course, because this was the same jerk who had withheld a dollhouse from a sweet little girl, he didn’t seem embarrassed by his poor manners in the slightest. “I was just looking, not staring,” Wyatt stated with an unconcerned shrug. I rolled my eyes. “Of all the people to be stuck with when I’m shrunk, why did it have to be this guy?”

[starstwinkleplanetsshine]

The Call of Resistance Chapter 9

I know it's been a long time, but I still love this story and will keep adding to it whenever I have time! So here's the next chapter!

Read on AO3

Chapter 9: The Stardestroyer

It took everything in me to keep walking towards the Millennium Falcon, my head was screaming at me to turn around. But my heart was steady, set, determined. It had waited for this moment my entire life, and I could hear it pounding in my ears as I took each step. The suns were already beginning to scorch the sands, reminding me with every moment beneath their wrathful gaze why I was leaving this planet behind. The suns represented everything Tatooine was–unforgiving, relentless, unbearable, barren, vengeful–and everything I wanted to escape. I let the sweat on my brow fuel me and remind me why I was leaving. Just a few more steps…

“Good morning!” Poe’s voice called me out of my head and made me look up at the ship I was walking towards. 

“I was beginning to worry you got lost.” 

“Me getting lost? You’ll learn that never happens.” The extreme bravado and swagger in his voice made me wonder if he was covering for something, and this suspicion was only strengthened as Chewie said something to him that seemed to be a chastisement. I shared a knowing look with the Wookiee after Poe quickly shushed him. 

“And why don’t I believe you?” Poe glared at Chewbacca once more. 

“You should always believe me, Sweetheart.” I raised my eyebrows at the pilot as I took my first steps onto the platform. 

“For some reason, that doesn't reassure me.” Poe just shook his head, but I could see a glimmer in his eye. 

“You’ll see.” Was all he said until I was standing in front of him. “Well, don’t just stand there. Come on in.” The pilot and the Wookiee turned around, not before Chewie gave me a welcoming greeting, and walked into the Falcon. It seemed so natural for them, so mundane. As common as walking into a cantina. How could they not see that this was not the same as walking into any old ship, this was walking into history. This was walking into my future. 

I took a shaky breath, stole a glance at the sands behind me and the suns above me, said a silent goodbye, and followed their lead into the ship. 

It was just as I remembered it, if not a little messier. 

“Been doing a lot of repairs?” I called into the empty open space just inside the doors. I couldn’t see where the two of them went. 

“We’re always doing repairs on this ship.” I heard Poe’s voice call from one of the hallways, followed by a disgruntled phrase in Shyriiwook. “I know, I know. Sorry Chewie, but you gotta admit this bucket of bolts has seen better days.” This time Poe’s voice was gentler, clearly trying to right any offense that had just taken place. Chewie seemed to agree with this, and I found the two just as he was replying. I cleared my throat as I entered the hallway. “Ah, there you are.” Poe turned to me and I was struck all over again by his deep eyes. 

“Sorry, I was…” how could I explain that I was taking a moment to say goodbye to everything I had ever known? That I was bidding farewell to the suns that had raised me, the sands that had shaped me? The only being in the galaxy who truly knew me? “Lost.” 

“Ya, the Falcon can be a bit confusing. Sorry about that, we should’ve waited for you.” 

An interjection by the Wookiee. 

“Actually, I thought I asked you to wait for her, so who's fault is it really?” 

“Oh it's okay, I didn’t mind.” I could tell the two were about to argue, and I didn’t want to be caught in the middle of it. This didn’t stop Chewbacca from grumbling out one last defense, to which Poe just sighed deeply and quickly shook his head. 

“Well, regardless, welcome back. We should be ready to take off pretty soon, are you good to go?” 

No. 

“I was ready twenty three years ago.” the pilot broke into a smile. 

“That’s what I like to hear. Follow us.” The two led the way to the cockpit and settled into the pilots chairs. I felt odd as I sat in the empty seat behind Chewbacca, I had never been in a ship without being the one in control, even when I was little I sat on my mother’s lap and put my hands over hers as she steered. Poe and the Wookiee began making the preparations to take off, the two falling into their routine like it was second nature to them. It was fascinating to watch both of them work. Chewbacca had the nonchalance and confidence of someone who had been in this position a thousand times, it was so routine to him that he flipped every switch and checked every screen almost as if it were an old habit. Poe, on the other hand, had the ease of someone who was a complete natural. It wasn’t the assured confidence that comes with time, but the innate instinct that comes from deep inside someone. Watching him settle into his position as a pilot was mesmerizing, and I almost forgot I was about to leave the only place I had ever known. It was the pilot's voice that brought me back to reality. 

“Flight prep complete, hyperspace calculations running, ready for launch on your go.” 

A confident reply from Chewbacca. 

“Great, let's leave these sands behind us.” 

Suddenly my stomach was doing flips and everything inside of me was telling me to run off the falcon and bury myself in the sands and stay there forever. But despite the fear and uncertainty, despite my churning stomach, I felt a still, small pull inside like a magnet drawing me up, to the stars. A still, small voice whispering so faint I almost missed it, “finally”. 

“Say your final goodbyes, Nova, because we’re about to go.” As soon as he finished those words I felt the Falcon roar with energy, with life. With a jerk, we were off the ground and I could see it get farther and farther as the sky became closer and closer. I pushed down the knot in my stomach and breathed out one final goodbye, and to my surprise the faintest “thank you” escaped my lips. The two in front of me pretended not to hear, although I could see Poe’s face morph into the slightest smile. I didn’t know who I was thanking, the earth I grew up on? The suns that baked me into who I am? The sand that was a part of my very being? The desert that flowed through me? Lux for being my best friend? Maybe all of it. I was so overwhelmed as we lifted higher and the sky around us became darker. A part of me wished I could’ve seen my home as we ascended, but another part was glad I couldn’t so that I was only focused on my next steps, my future. Before long we were making the unmistakable transition from atmosphere to space, my favorite thing about flying, and I was hit all at once with the reality and finality of my actions. I couldn’t do anything but stare at the stars ahead. 

After a while, Poe spoke again. 

“Hyperspace calculations complete. Course set for the base.” He then turned to look at me, “have you ever been in hyperspace before?” I could only shake my head, hoping he couldn’t tell that I was exploding inside. “Oh, you’ll love it. Some people get a little sick, but I think you’ll be fine. Hold on!” He looked to Chewbacca who nodded before letting out an excited exclamation and activating the lever that sent us into hyperspace. I couldn’t do anything but gasp as the stars stretched around me, forming the most beautiful tunnel of blue streaking light I had ever seen. It was like a million shooting stars all at once were frozen yet in constant motion around me. For what seemed like the embarrassing millionth time today, I felt a tear roll down my cheek that I quickly wiped away. I told myself it was because of the beauty, but I knew it was really because this marked the end of my life on Tatooine and the beginning of my new one. In a moment, we were already thousands of lightyears away, in an instant we were an incomprehensible distance from the only home I had ever known.

Suddenly it was all very, very real. And I knew there was no going back. 

We sat in silence for a while, my eyes fixed on the swirling blue around me, occasionally watching the two pilots as they worked. Before long, Poe took his headset off and turned his head to Chewbacca, 

“We should be good to put it on autopilot for a while, our path is pretty clear.” The Wookiee responded in agreement before pushing some buttons and then taking his own headset off. Poe swirled around in his chair to look at me.

“How are you feeling? Still good?” It took all my willpower to pull my eyes away from the hyperspace swirling outside the cockpit window. 

“More than good, this is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” A wide smile crept onto Poe’s face. 

“I knew you’d love it.” He stood up and then extended his hand towards me. “Wanna tour?” I took his offer before even realizing it, ignoring the fireworks in my fingers as my hand touched his and he helped me out of the seat. 

“Of course!” I didn’t try to mask my giddiness, just being in this ship made me feel like all of my childhood dreams were becoming real and it was as if I was a little kid again, listening as my mothers stories came alive. 

He showed me around the Falcon for a while, I didn’t try to keep track of time as we wandered through the winding hallways and cluttered rooms. He told me stories from his adventures on the ship, and I asked question after question. I kept having to pinch myself to remind myself I was really there, standing on the same floor that countless heroes of the rebellion have stood on before me. I was beaming the whole time. 

  After a while Poe led me to an open room with a Dejarik table, a bench, and mismatched equipment strewn about. I gladly sat down on the bench behind the holochess board, I had been on my feet for quite some time.

“Do you play?” Poe sat on the other side of the bench and put his hands on the table. 

“I never have, no. They have these at a few of the cantinas but they’re not exactly friendly spaces to learn.” He let out a small chuckle. 

“You don't have to tell me that. Do you want to play? I can teach you.” 

“Oh I know how, I’ve watched a lot of matches. I’ve just never gotten the chance to practice.” 

“Well, there’s a first time for everything.” He gave me a wicked smile as he flipped a switch and holographic monstrous creatures appeared on the board. “Pick four.” Was all he said. 

“Bring it on.” 

It was a close game, but Poe won on the last move and was not at all a humble victor. I swore that I would beat him next time and reminded him that it was only my first time playing and I had already almost beaten him. 

“Well, we’ll see about that, sweetheart.” I instinctively crinkled my nose at the nickname, as it was one of my least favorite things in the galaxy to be called. “What?” The pilot asked with genuine concern. 

“It’s just that…” I hesitated for a moment, not sure how to say what I was feeling. “I hate being called that. “Sweetheart”. Just some bad memories, I guess.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Poe’s eyes softened as he looked at me. “I’ll think of something else to call you, then.” The playful gleam in his eye had returned, but the softness was still there. 

“Or you could just call me Nova, you know like, my name?” He scoffed as he stood up. 

“But where’s the fun in that?” I rolled my eyes at him but let out a small laugh. “I’m gonna go work on some minor repairs, they shouldn’t take long. Feel free to wander around, just don’t get lost. And don't break anything.” 

“Are you sure you don’t need help with the repairs?” Poe smiled kindly, if not a little arrogantly. 

“I’ll be fine. See you in a bit, Tatooine.” I cocked my head at him and narrowed my eyes. 

“I’m not sure if I like that one either.”

“Too bad, because I love it.” And without looking back, he walked out of the room and down a hallway. 

I sat there for a few minutes just processing all that had happened today before getting up and walking down a hallway that I thought would lead me back to the cockpit. At the moment that was the only spot I knew on the ship where I could see out into space, so I wanted to go back there and watch the stars. I took a couple of wrong turns and had to backtrack quite a bit, but eventually I found my way back. It was empty when I walked in, so I sat in the right pilot's seat, where Poe had sat during take off. My preferred seat. We were still in hyperspace so there wasn’t much to look at besides the tempestuous blue and white tunnel all around me, but I was still mesmerized by it. I sat there for a long while, letting the beauty and enormity of it wash over me, thinking about how every step I had ever taken had led me to this very moment. If I was quiet enough, and I listened hard enough, it was almost as if I could hear my mothers voice, faint but undeniable, whisper that she was proud of me. It was almost as if–

Suddenly lights were flashing and beeping erupted in the cockpit. There was an error message blinking on one of the screens in a strange dialect of binary I had never seen before, but I could still read. I had just figured out that it said we were making an emergency jump out of hyperspace when the streams of blue around me shortened, froze, and then suddenly vanished. Seemingly out of nowhere I was surrounded by darkness, stars, and the largest starship I had ever seen in my entire life. 

I knew what it was the moment I saw it. 

A star destroyer.

[ducknotinarow]

Brooklyn grinned as she strolled up to Peter, hands behind her back, something clearly hidden. She gives a faint laugh, tilting her head slightly,

"Peter, I have a gift for you."

Moving her hands, she briefly shows off the large, golden, star shape sticker she was having. Casually, she slaps it onto Peter's chest, sticking it to his suit - hopefully that doesn't mess anything up,

"I'd like to announce that you are now an honorary star child," Brooklyn tells him, "Welcome to the team!"

| Muse interaction

It was pretty surreal, to say the least, that peter was able to work with the Avengers. He still tended to do things on his own hey he was the friendly neighborhood Spider, after all, anything bigger than yeah he would get some help time to time. But he had to admit as he stared up at the Avengers tower it still filled him with a lot of emotions. The excitement of course because well he was getting to be around THE AVENGERS! Iron man, Captian America, Hulk, Black Window, Flacon, and Hawk Eye! This was big time! It was like the jocks noticing the lame geek at school and saying you could sit with them during lunch....Peter just hoped unlike at school this wasn't some ploy to hold in by his ankle with his head first in the trash can.

"Jeez Pete" he said to himself hand held out as he shoot out another web to pull himself up to the tower. He didn't think that same situation was going to happen of course. But he had to admit he was clearly the spider out of water here. Out of web may fit that better? he thought over as he landed clean on the landing strip. Moving to stand up now as he made his way inside. He just wanted to get a second opinion on something he came across the other day. He would have brought himself around sooner but? Okay, it was dumb but he always got just a bit anxious coming into the tower even if they told him all the time he was always welcomed to. Pete just couldn't explain the unsettling his stomach. Was almost like when he finally got into Hirozon. He belonged sure but he also felt like maybe he didn't truly belong here? That was dumb he was dumb right? Stopping as he sighed, shoulders slumping maybe he should leave no one knew he was here yet right? he could sneak out? Eyeing the nearest window to his left as he already was pushing against the glass to force it open.

"Peter, I have a gift for you."

He had been seen! near jumping from his place as he turned to find Brooklyn. Handset to his chest. "Man you scared me there." He overly stated as he acted out needing to let his heart settle before his ears perked at what she said. "wait you have a gift for me?" looking at how she held her hands her back. He went and pulled off his mask, eh hidden identity was blown not long ago around the tower after all. Besides Brooklyn was his friend so he could trust her not to spill it outside the tower. "what is it?" he questioned no offense to Brook but if she could hand it behind herself it was likely small..but a full offense to Brook he had come to learn she was well. Chances were it might be something she made, food wise and he learned not to accept food from here so please don't let it be that. He couldn't afford to be sick from school right now. When she showed him the large gold sticker in her hand he just crocked his head to the side confused. "A sticker?" he offered a crooked smile to try and show he didn't mind but he didn't follow why she would give him a sticker? She steps closer and set the stickers dead center on his chest. Placing it onto the spider logo on his suit. Also lined up like the hourglass on Black windows own. He stared down at his chest a bit arching a brow as he shifted his attention back to Brook. "uh? am I be reward for good behavior cause I need to fess up about something I broke the other day then." Her smile grew bright as she went to answer him "I'd like to announce that you are now an honorary star child,"

Well, that wasn't expected at all, almost felt like she knew what he had been thinking lately about not feeling all that part of the team but she said Star child? that's what Nina and Brook called themselves right though a few others here did as well.. "Wait?" he blinked a little turning that over in his mind. If there were any two people he did relax around when here it was them. They had gotten along pretty well but Peter. He guessed he never realized that they. Can you get choked up in your own mind because he was feeling choked up right now?

"Welcome to the team!"

A bit stunned but he musters a smile trying not to be a complete loser over this. "Star Child uh?" touching the sticker she set on him, it likely would fall off from swinging around the city but still. He pressed his fingers in against it making sure it lay as flat as possible so as not to peel right off. "Soo, do I change my name to America spider now? Spider American even? the Star Spider?" he resorted to some dumb joking to cover how he was actually feeling. As he chuckled a bit. Setting his mask into the pocket of his suit and turning fully away from the window he was totally trying to jump out from. "Hey is Nina around too? I been working on something and I think you guys would be the right people to help me with it?" he requested. All those tense nerves settled a little by her small gesture. "shes decent with a microscope right and you're good at sneaking around? I promise its not much trouble" But the three of them together would be.

[bloody-wonder]

U said u had lots to say on the topic of girls who become 'not like other girls' due to being ostracized by the more popular girls which they then try to distance themselves from, I'm curious what u had to say?

i have very mixed feelings about the whole “not like other girls” thing. nowadays people associate it exclusively with those outdated memes or distasteful ya tropes choosing to forget that these cringey online phenomena are the fallout of some harmful situations and expectations girls and young women still have to deal with irl. (sara z has an in-depth video essay on this topic which i highly recommend).

on paper, i very much agree that women should do whatever they want to, regardless of whether it is in accordance with the gender norms and expectations superimposed by the society, and that a person who’s against girls liking “girly things” is clearly in the wrong. but in day-to-day life it’s much more complicated than that. it’s true that we shouldn’t hate women for the choices they make but rather we should fight against the system that forces them to make some of those choices and then pits them against each other. but it’s also true that women, whose identity is, consciously or not, more in line with what the society expects women to be, often choose to ally themselves with the system instead of trying to fight it and risking losing the rewards (which often come in form of heteronormative “dream life” or some such). in the words of linda nochlin, the middle-class woman has a great deal more to lose than her chains. 

speaking of ya, it looks like after the wave of heroines who were praised by their problematic love interests for being “not like other girls” while also having no close female friends came the backlash in the form of what i call the “not like other girls” conflict - a trope that tries to rectify the situation with hating on “girly girls” but completely fails to acknowledge the root of the problem. among the books i’ve recently read it’s featured most prominently in a lady's guide to petticoats and piracy by mackenzi lee. 

(i’m going to explain with some mild spoilers so be warned)

the book is set in the 18th century so the main character felicity who is “not like other girls” and wants to become a doctor is completely miserable. bc of her gender the society in which she lives won’t let her follow her dreams. her best friend johanna who used to be “not like other girls” together with her when they were kids and dreamed of becoming an explorer now grew up to be very much “like other girls” and left felicity behind. the conflict between them escalates when johanna tells felicity her version of what happened: as she grew up she was still very much interested in exploring and being friends with felicity but she also became interested in traditionally “womanly things” and made friends with “other girls”, including the ones who had always mocked felicity, but she never left her behind - instead, it was felicity who started distancing herself to the point of ending their friendship. “why can’t i do both?”, asks johanna and in theory she’s completely right. the narrative certainly thinks she’s right as it makes the entire situation a step in felicity’s character development when she recognizes her internalized misogyny, apologizes, is forgiven and the focus of the story shifts to fighting the patriarchy with the means traditionally associated with femininity. what remains unexplored are felicity’s fears and reasons for distancing herself from johanna: while it’s not her friend’s fault that they live in a sexist society, the knowledge that when the push comes to shove she can easily blend in with it and leave felicity out in the cold doesn’t help their relationship either.

you might say, it’s not the 18th century anymore so the situation can’t be that grave. so let me end this with a personal example that bugs me a lot. i don’t wear make up, haven’t worn it since i was 14. now at 25 i honestly have no idea how to put it on, i’ve lost the skill completely and i don’t own any. in my daily life i don’t spare it a single thought, but in recent years i’ve been questioning more and more whether my academic and professional life would be more successful if my appearance was more “professional” - which for a woman means that she has to wear make up. maybe all those job interviews came to nothing at least partly bc i didn’t wear any. maybe it’s better to wear some next time, just to be sure. doesn’t sound like a big problem, right? except i don’t own any and tbh have no money to spare to buy it, i don’t know how to put it on and i have neither time nor desire to learn how. plus, i just fundamentally resent the idea that i have to do it just bc i am a woman. make up costs lots of money, putting it on and removing it is time-consuming, and when it’s on you can’t touch your face cause now it’s suddenly not a part of your body but a picture for other people to look at. given all of this, wearing make up shouldn’t be an obligation or a necessity and yet it is. i see many women both online and irl complain about it and i also see women say “it’s okay if you wear it for yourself or for fun”. but the problem is, we won’t make any progress with this until wearing make up isn’t expected of women anymore which won’t happen until we stop wearing it en masse, thereby eliminating the basis for this expectation - even those of us who like to wear it. or think that they like it. 

otherwise it’s just half of us stepping back into the ranks and blending in while the other half is left out in the cold.

[kylie-writes-stuff]

Too Far

pairing: rodrick heffley x gn!reader ; greg x platonic!reader (but it's mostly a sweet family fic between rodrick and greg)

warnings: cussing, rodrick thinks greg ran away/is missing, rodrick's probably ooc, uh idk what else

word count: 1.7k (why is this the longest thing i’ve written-)

summary: (takes place during rodrick rules) y/n has been a good neighbor and friend for a while now. either of the heffley boys can go to them for anything.

a/n: im a strong believer in the fact that rodrick has a soft side and he truly cares about his little brother. he doesn't show it a lot but it's there. i love rodrick so much so i wanted to try writing for him. sorry if it's ooc but i dunno, i like it. let me know what you think :)

--

You were watching tv, no clue what just happened in the house down the street, when there was a knock on the door.

You got up, groaning. Who would be here this late? 

You opened the door, somewhat annoyed, until you saw that it was... Greg? 

It was Greg, the young boy from down the street, with tears in his eyes.

You immediately wrapped an arm around him, leading him inside, “Woah, kid, what’s wrong?”

As the two of you sat back down on the couch, he choked out an answer, “R-Rodrick.”

“What did he do this time? Want me to beat his ass for you?"

A small smile crossed your face when you were able to make the boy chuckle.

He explained that him and Rodrick had a great night together but things went bad once they got home. He said that their parents found the pictures from the party last week, which you had attended, and both the boys got it trouble. But that wasn't why Greg was crying. He was crying because Rodrick was disappointed in him and said some hurtful things.

You didn't push any further. Greg was a tough kid, most of the time, so whatever Rodrick said must've been really bad.

"Wait," you said after a few minutes, "Do your parents know you're here?"

"N-no. I snuck out."

"Greg, you can't do that," you said sternly. You weren't angry, just worried.

"You and Rodrick both sneak out all the time," He tried to reason.

"That's different. We're both old enough to take care of ourselves. No offense, but you're still just a kid. If your parents find out they're gonna be worried sick."

"Can I just stay for a while longer? Please? Besides if they find out I'm gone, they'll probably check here first."

It was true. Greg and Rowley would come to your house sometimes, just to have a different place to hang out. Your parents were away a lot of the time so it worked out.

You were Greg's babysitter when he was in 5th and 6th grade. Ms. Heffley knew you were a responsible kid and she didn't exactly want Rodrick in charge. Now he's in 7th and he's trusted a bit more so you didn't have to take care of him anymore. During that time was when you and Greg got close. The two of you became friends.

You had gotten pretty close with Rodrick too. Especially since you had a lot of the same classes in school. The two of you had similar interests so you would hang out sometimes.

Of course, you couldn't say no to Greg.

You two sat and watched whatever he wanted to watch. You told him that he could have whatever he wanted from the kitchen, it didn't matter. He immediately searched for ice cream, making you laugh.

Soon there was another knock on the door. This time you looked out the peep hole.

"It's Rodrick," you whispered to Greg.

"I'm not here!" He whispered back, running up the stairs.

You waited until he was all the way upstairs, before you opened the door, "Rodrick? Hey, what's up?"

He looked back at you with panicked eyes, "(Y/n), you gotta helped me."

You ushered him in, just as you had done with his younger brother not long ago, and you two sat down. "Of course, what is it?"

"Well I- me and Greg got into a fight I guess? I said some stuff I shouldn't have. I- Fuck, (Y/n), I messed up... I took it too far."

You gently put a hand on his knee, "Hey, relax. You're okay. What do you mean you took it too far?"

"I told him that... I said 'you might be my brother, but you'll never be my friend'. W-We got in trouble for something and I got mad at him. Obviously I don't mean it, i-it just kinda slipped out."

"Okay, well, we both how Greg is. I'm sure he'll understand if you just tell him and apologize. You two will be fine," you offered him a soft smile.

To your surprise, he shook his head.

"That's not what I need your help with."

"Oh," was all you could say.

"I went to check on him a while ago because he's never been in this much trouble, I wanted to make sure he was okay. Mom and Dad were already asleep. I- I went into his room and... and he was gone. (Y/n), I don't know what to do."

You pulled him into a hug, him quickly latching onto you. You gently ran your fingers through his hair. "It's okay Rodrick. I'll help you find him."

Of course, you knew where he was. But you wouldn't give away Greg's spot if he didn't want you too.

Rodrick looked up at you, "You will?"

"Of course, let me get a jacket and we'll go."

You went up the stairs and into your room, where Greg was sitting on your bed.

"Dude, he-"

"I heard all of it. I understand."

"Oh good," you said, waking to your closet to get a jacket, "So, do you forgive him?"

"Of course, he's my brother," The two of you smiled.

As you pulled on your jacket, you asked, "Well what do you wanna do? He's ready to go searching for you."

"Maybe you two can drive around for a while and come back, and i'll just be on the sidewalk around here? I don't know, I just don't him to get at you for lying." He suggested.

You thought about it, nodding.

"Okay... but be careful, alright? Stay in here for like 15 minutes, then you can go out."

You went back downstairs and grabbed your keys. Rodrick followed you out and into your car.

"He couldn't have gone far, right?" He asked, bouncing his knee up and down.

"Nah, i'm sure he stayed close. Lets just check the neighborhood, yeah?" You said.

You drove around, one hand on the steering wheel and the other on the center console where Rodrick was holding it tightly.

--

"H-he can't be gone. (Y/n), he can't!"

Of course, you haven't "found" Greg yet. Rodrick was freaking out.

You pulled over and pressed a soft kiss to his knuckles, his hand still in yours.

"Hey, Rod, it's okay. We'll find him, I promise."

Rodrick shook his head, his eyes becoming glossy. You felt bad for letting him believe Greg was really gone for so long, but you told Greg you'd stick with his plan. And you were true to your word.

"What if we don't?" His voice cracked.

"We will, I promise. But it's getting late and you should rest. We'll go looking for him first thing in the morning. I bet you he probably went to Rowley's house."

"Yeah... yeah, that makes sense," Rodrick nodded. "Thank you."

"You know I'd do anything for you. For Greg, too. I love that kid."

Rodrick smiled, hearing you speak so fondly of his younger brother. In that moment, he knew everything would work out.

You started driving back to the cul-de-sac you guys lived on. Rodrick leaned his head against the window and started to dose off, his hand still holding yours tightly.

Then you saw it. Greg walking on the sidewalk, just like he said he would.

"Rodrick! Dude!" You shook him awake.

"Huh? What?" He woke up, startled.

"Look!" You pointed over to Greg while pulling over.

Rodrick saw him and as soon as you stopped the car, he opened the door and stumbled out.

"Greg!" He called out to his younger brother.

Before Greg could even turn around, Rodrick had him engulfed in a hug. The display of affection obviously took Greg by surprised.

"Don't ever do that again," Rodrick paused, trying to come up with some sort of insult, "... dumbass."

"I won't, I promise."

You watched as the two brothers smiled at each other. A rare occurrence for sure, but a nice one.

Rodrick lightly pushed Greg towards the car and they both got in.

"Hey (Y/n)." Greg said from the back seat.

"Hey, kid, glad you're safe," You smiled back at him.

"Yeah."

"Had this guy close to bursting into tears," You snickered, gesturing towards Rodrick and trying to lighten the mood.

"Don't tell him that!" Rodrick mumbled as he nudged your arm. This only made you and Greg giggle more.

You saw a smile form on Rodrick's lips, despite him trying to hide it. Laughter was, indeed, contagious.

You poked his cheek, making him chuckle.

You started to drive towards the Heffley house, the mood in the car now light and playful. You pulled into their driveway and unlocked the doors.

"Go inside, twerp. I'll catch up." Rodrick said.

"Okay," Greg smiled, getting out and heading towards the door.

"(Y/n)... thank you." Rodrick said, his voice softer as he looked down at his shoes.

"For what?"

"I dunno, everything. I mean, who would get up in the middle of the night and help some loser look for their little brother?"

"Oh c'mon, Rodrick. I'd go to the ends of the earth for you or that kid. It's no big deal, really." You said.

"It is to me. Thank you," He finally looked up at you, and you could see the sincerity in his eyes.

"Anytime."

"Can I- um... can I try something?" He asked. His eyes darted away from you for a split second.

"Well, uh, yeah. Sure." You said, curious to as what wants to do.

Suddenly, Rodrick put his hand on your cheek and leaned in. You felt his lips press against yours softly and closed your eyes. The kiss lasted only a little bit, but it felt much longer.

You couldn’t lie. It felt amazing. Kissing Rodrick just felt so... right. It’s like your lips were made for each other.

He pulled back a little and you smiled, laughing softly.

"Is- Is that a good thing?" He asked.

"I dunno, you tell me."

You leaned in and kissed him again. He was quick to kiss back. Eventually you leaned back.

"You should get inside," Another kiss, "Don't want you getting in more trouble."

Rodrick's usual confidence came back and he smirked, "If it's for you, it's worth it."

"Shut up!" You laughed.

He chuckled and pecked your cheek, before walking to the door.

As you pulled into your own driveway, you smiled.

Your relationship with Rodrick Heffley had changed tonight. But you know it had changed for the better.

[frogtanii]

iwaizumi was... overwhelmed, to say the least.

the past few days had been such a whirlwind of change that hajime could barely properly process, much less appropriately react to it all, so he behaved much like a zombie, saying yes when prompted, signing papers when told, and packing up what was his entire life for the past 11 months.

wow. iwaizumi collapsed on his bed as he scanned his now barren bedroom. he’d been here for almost a year and yet, all his belongings were in boxes within a couple of days.

hajime couldn’t keep the disbelieving chuckle from escaping his chest as he leaned back on his bed, dark brown eyes trained on the ceiling.

it felt like he’d spent such a large chunk of his life trapped in this house, under the foot of the woman who he thought he’d marry but in reality, he’d been in little leagues longer than he’d been in love.

iwaizumi scoffed and rolled his eyes. yeah, “in love”. it’d been about a week since his whole life started to unravel and he had hardly seen, let alone spoken to meiko throughout that entire time.

over text, she’d sworn up and down that she loved and cared about him but as she passed by him packing his things a few days ago, she’d barely spared him a second glance.

hajime wasn’t going to lie. it hurt. he’d opened his heart up to her, something he didn’t do easily, and she’d taken his trust and used it to twist him into her weapon.

he always believed he was stronger than this — he’d never forget his mother telling him so when he was younger. he had fallen and scraped his knee yet he refused to cry to keep from upsetting his mom. iwaizumi existed to live up to what his mother thought of him but here he was, completely enveloped in meiko’s shit, doing her dirty work and following her bidding like some mutt.

god, toorū was right. he really was her bitch.

“i could hear you thinking from down the hall, iwa-chan.” speak of the devil...

oikawa stood at his doorway, leaning against the frame with a posture that seemed relaxed at first glance but if you looked a little closer, you’d notice the tenseness in his shoulders and the tightness of his smile.

hajime quickly sat up on his bed before motioning for his old friend to enter. “uh, yeah,” he began, his voice cracking a little from disuse, “i have a lot to think about.”

the light haired brunette let out an understanding hum before wandering into the room, sharp observant eyes darting to look at all the empty walls. “looks like you’re all packed.”

“pretty much,” iwaizumi nodded before the room fell into an awkward silence, the two childhood friends completely avoiding one another’s eyes.

“look, i-“

“iwa-chan, i’m-“

they both paused for a moment before bursting into laughter, the sound carrying into the hall and throughout the house.

hajime wiped a few stray tears from his eyes, shaking his head at their awkwardness. “you first, shittykawa.”

toorū gasped in halfhearted mock offense before quickly sobering up, training iwaizumi with a completely serious look. “i’m sorry and before you go on some bullshit, self sacrificing rant, you’re not the only one to blame for what happened to our friendship.”

he sighed while making his way to iwaizumi’s bed, sitting down gently beside him. “i should’ve known better, okay? i shouldn’t have let my jealousy and insecurities get in between us but i guess i got swept up in the attention, yknow? meiko is actually charming when she wants to be.”

iwaizumi nodded in agreement, knowing all too well how compelling meiko could be. the room fell into a more comfortable silence as both boys escaped into their thoughts, questions about the future of their friendship flitting throughout their minds.

“oh!” oikawa was pulled out of his own head at hajime’s exclamation, his eyes moving to observe his friend dig through his pockets to procure a thick white envelope. “here. i’d like you to give this yn.”

all toorū could do was nod, his brain short circuiting at the sight of iwaizumi’s apparent kindness to the woman he tormented for so long. “uh, what’s in it?” he ventured to ask, his soft hands toying with the sealed envelope flap.

a soft chuckle came from across the bed. “don’t be so nosy toorū, just give it to her, yeah?” oikawa rolled his eyes but obliged, the bed creaking as he stood to his feet.

“so... this is it, huh?” it was like the reality of the situation was just now sinking in — they hadn’t been close in a while but iwaizumi was still his best friend and he wasn’t quite ready to let him go.

they’d been through so much together, practically growing up together and now, they’d only see each other on holidays, if even then, and then he’d never be invited to hajime’s wedding as his best man as they’d planned and he also wouldn’t be the coolest uncle/godfather of iwa’s children and—

“fuck no,” hajime scoffed with a bright grin on his face. “thought you were gonna annoy me til the end of time shittykawa. don’t tell me you’re quitting your job now.”

the hidden meaning behind iwaizumi’s words brought tears to oikawa’s eyes and before he could stop himself, he launched his body into iwa’s arms. hajime hesitated, his hands stuttering at toorū’s sides as though he’d forgotten how to hug but the feeling passed, his arms winding around his friend’s lithe waist.

“‘m gonna miss you hajime,” oikawa’s voice came out as a broken whimper, his arms tightening around his shoulders.

iwaizumi hummed instead of responding, too afraid of his voice cracking under the weight of his emotions. they stood there for a moment but the honk of the moving truck outside signaled the both of them of their limited time.

hurriedly, oikawa wiped the tears off his cheeks before waving awkwardly at iwaizumi as he left the room with a friendly, “don’t be a stranger.”

and then he was gone.

toorū finally allowed himself to collapse into sobs on his best friends empty bed, his palms pressing into his eyes as he sat there and just let himself feel.

apparently, he wasn’t crying very quietly because it took only a few moments for you to find him, your soft footsteps alerting him to your presence. oikawa scrambled to wipe away what he knew was an unattractive mixture of tears and snot as you got closer.

you were one of the last people he wanted to see him like this.

“hey,” you whispered, standing a few feet away from him. “um, i know this is probably a bad time but i just wanted to thank you for apologizing? back at the awards show?”

toorū sniffed as he looked up at you with confusion written on his face. “what? you shouldn’t thank me for apologizing. ‘s common courtesy.”

you laughed softly, nodding in agreement. “well, not always. so, thank you.” finished with your piece and not too keen on lingering where you weren’t wanted, you moved towards the door but were swiftly stopped before you got there.

“um, here. it’s from iwa-chan.” you gaped at the thick envelope oikawa was handing you before taking it and opening it, a low curse falling from your lips.

inside the package was a dense wad of cash, more money than you’d seen in months. accompanied with it was a letter, written in beautifully loopy handwriting.

you shut it quickly before oikawa could see, stuffing the envelope deep within your pocket where you could access it alone in the depths of your room.

“do you wanna come eat? last i heard, bokuto and tsumu were doing a cooking competition and i’m sure it’ll be fun to watch.” you were severely thrown off by the money and letter but you were determined to show toorū that you’d accepted his apology and were on your way to making amends.

he gave you a shy nod and trailed behind you to the kitchen, the loud sounds of fire and screaming coming from down the hall. you wanted to focus on the fun and merriment but the envelope was practically burning a hole in your pocket.

later that night, you finally got the chance to open the letter and read it, your former manager’s words bringing tears to your eyes.

dear yn,

i’m probably the last person you expected to hear from. you probably didn’t want to hear from me at all if i’m being honest and i don’t blame you. i know there is nothing i can say that could make up for what i’ve done to you but i’d like to try.

i’m sorry. those words don’t nearly express in and of themselves how truly remorseful i am but they needed to be said. there’s no excuse for how i treated you — not meiko, not my stress, absolutely nothing.

you deserved my common decency and respect and i didn’t give that to you. instead, i abused my position and made your life hell. i’ll never forgive myself for that.

uh, i bet you’re wondering what the money is? i promise i’m not trying to pay you off, it’s just all the money i’ve denied you since you moved here. i have a lot of wrongs to right and this is one of them.

sorry, i’m not very good with words but i just wanted you to know that i’m very sorry for everything that i’ve done. and i’m in no place to make demands or anything but i just wanted to ask if you’d keep an eye on oikawa for me.

he’s strong but he’s also vulnerable. he might be a pain in my ass but he’s my best friend and since i can’t keep him from drowning, i was wondering if you’d do that - not for me but for him.

anyways, this letter is shit but i suppose you get the gist. use the money for whatever you want and if you’re as unselfish as i’ve heard, you don’t owe me anything. you don’t owe me money, kindness, or forgiveness.

take care of yourself,

iwaizumi hajime

℗ poker face

so... this is it

series masterlist

(●’◡’●)ﾉ

an - soooo m back :D hopefully this is the last of my mini hiatuses!! this chapter sucked to write but i’m not mad at how it turned out?? pls let me know how i did skjdkd don’t forget to feed me <3333

taglist - if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you

@boosyboo9206 • @geektastic84 • @elianetsantana • @trashy-simp • @infinitebells • @6mattsun9 • @suhkusa • @katsulovee • @kotarosbabygirl • @fucktheworlddude • @insomniacwreck • @calumsfringe • @saltylettuce • @chai-blu • @al3x1ss • @hawksyoongi • @syndellwins • @jooleuuh • @loubells • @kissungjae • @liberhoe • @tetsurocore • @animeoverdosee • @duhsies • @saikishairclip • @afire24 • @premiyagi • @kit-kat428 • @doctorspencereid • @daphnxy • @kyomihann • @maer-333 • @sinoflust19 • @peteunderoos • @peachiikichu • @iidanotlida • @yongboxerrr • @kac-chowsballs • @tanakaslastbraincell • @memorableminds • @risjime • @starry-magicshop • @sugavwara • @smuttyanimeslut • @kiwibirbs-library • @haijkk • @airybnb • @crybabygumi • @iwaisa • @decaffinatedtealover • @notameera • @kawaii-angelanne • @rintarovibes • @urlocalsimp

the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!

[admiringlove]

hurtful things

+synopsis: genshin boys and the hurtful things they said.

+genre: angst; headcanons.

+characters: kaeya; diluc; childe; zhongli.

+warnings: swearing; crying; implied panic attack.

+order: hey bubs! i saw you doing requests and i HAD to ask for genshin angst :) spare me some tears pls <//3 preferably w kaeya or diluc or childe :) [submitted by @crackheadsara​]

+author’s note: okay so i included zhongli bc he’s the love of my life, also i needed comfort from him after writing such hurtful things :D

+navigation: main menu, genshin menu.

— KAEYA.

“i’m better off without you.”

you know from the way your door was knocked in the middle of the night on a weekday after months, that it’s kaeya. you rub your eyes sleepily, trudging towards the door as anger and doubt fuse into a nasty green in your mind. 

you unlock the door, pulling it open to see the man with the eyepatch tapping his foot on the deck of your home impatiently. he smirks when his eye lands on you, attempting to walk in but stopping himself when he realizes you're standing at the door, unmoving. 

"kaeya, it's three in the morning. and it's monday. i have to report to jean in three hours," you mumble tiredly as you look up at him. the lamp grass by your windowsill outside and the moonlit night accentuated his cerulean eyes and contrasting coffee-colored skin. he frowns, peering down at you as he asks, "may i come in?"

you shrug, opening the door wide as you let the man in. he places his sword on the table and proceeds to walk into the bedroom when you ask, "where have you been for the past two weeks?"

"work," his reply is the same. you let out a sigh in impatience as you retort, "that's the same excuse as always."

he was tired and wanted to sleep off the fatigue from his latest mission. but when he hears you say that, something in him snaps and he turns around, his jaw clenched and a fixed glare making you a little agitated. he raises an eyebrow as he says, "well, unlike you, i am an actual important member of the knights of favonius."

"kaeya, all i meant was that you're always gone. you never write a letter back even if i send you one, and you somehow manage to come back every single time, expecting that it doesn't hurt me. what am i supposed to do?" your voice is small as you look down, hair drooping towards the ground. you're not even yelling at him, you're just worried. he always leaves you alone(sometimes you tag along, but you couldn't tell why nowadays he'd leave you alone without some sort of warning).

"does it ever occur to you that you're just a hindrance?" he bites back, thinking that you're trying to put up a front. you flinch at his words, causing him to force a jeer before he starts again, "you always come along, so maybe i wanted to be away from you for a bit. that's why i leave without a warning so i don't have to tend to your yapping all day. because i'm better off without you."

you gasp as you look up to his figure, now retreating to your shared bedroom. you hear him fall onto the bed with a content sigh as you stand there, wiping at your tears incessantly as hiccups escape your lips. you bit your tongue to stop yourself from crying, pressing a hand on your mouth to muffle the sounds so you don't disturb kaeya. you get a quick peek in, eyes widening when you see him sound asleep and tucked in. 

so that's how it was, you think. 

the next morning, kaeya wakes up to a cold bed as his arm reaches out to an empty space. his eyes immediately pry open as he wakes up, to see that you weren't here. 

ah, he ponders to himself, you must've gone to tend to your duties. 

he stretches, letting out a yawn before walking out to the kitchen. he smiles when he sees a plate of food left for him on the countertop with a note from you. but somehow, something felt very wrong about this whole ordeal. this had happened before—he had come back from insanely long missions to you before, so what felt different?

and then it hits him. the things he said last night. he frantically looks around, his azure eyes completely drowned in horror as he notices small changes in your shared household. a few picture frames are missing on the living room walls, your keychain isn't on the bookshelf anymore, and worst of all, when he runs into the closet, half of your clothes are gone. 

did you really feel that bad about what he said?

in panic, he runs out and keeps going till he reaches the headquarters of the knights. he barges in this time, not returning the greetings of the guards upfront as he walks into jean's office. 

"where are they?" he pants, "i-i messed up, do you know where they are?"

jean's eyes widen as she says, "our associates were having a hard time handling with the fatui in liyue harbor so they volunteered to go there for sometime."

"how long has it been?"

"they left long ago, it's about to be around ten hours since," she says. kaeya's heart shatters as he hears those words. he hadn't expected you to outright leave like that, but if you had said the same things to him, he definitely would've stormed out. his voice cracks as he looks at the ground in shame, "h-how long until they'll be back?"

"i.. don't know."

he regrets everything he's said. he truly does because he doesn't even notice that tears are streaming down his cheeks until jean comes to his aid. he hates himself for all of it—he hates that he has to live in a home where traces of you are visible everywhere; worst of all, he hates how he knows he lost you for good. even if you come back, he knows you wouldn’t run and melt into his arms like you did before. you’re gone now, fading into the darkness and away from him. 

maybe it was for the best.

— DILUC.

“you’re nothing but a burden.”

after taking on a few abyss mages and mitachurls, diluc lets a grunt out in pain before you see the slash on his right arm. you gasp, pulling him to the side of the lake as you pull out a bandage and cotton from your bag to clean his wounds. he's reluctant to it at first, but he sits there quietly and broods as you clean the blood with cotton and some type of healing ointment. 

you tie the bandage on his arm, a tiny bit of vermillion liquid seeping through the white cloth before sitting down next to him, finally catching a breath. sighing, you look up at him and say, "that was reckless."

"no, what you did was reckless. who told you to come along with me to dadaupa gorge? you knew what you were getting into when you came along, so don't put this on me," he grumbled, frowning as you look at him with narrowed eyes and furrowed brows. you are sort of hurt, but you know he's only saying this in faux indignation, so it's okay. you chuckle out, beginning, "diluc, i was-"

"i don't know why i even bother with you at this point," he exasperates, looking into the distance behind you. he curses slightly under his breath, his rouge eyes filled to the brim with anger as it finally overflows, "you're nothing but a burden."

your eyes suddenly flick to gape at him in disbelief. you stand up, your voice hitching in your throat as you ask, "diluc, you mean that?"

and it all simmers down into ashes when he mumbles "of course i do" under his breath. your vision is blurry as you walk away from the red-haired man, your body trembling as you almost give away that you're crying your eyes out. you walk back in the direction the two of you came from, leaving your broken heart in the hands of diluc, who sat by the lake not muttering a word after. 

he knows he's said things he doesn't mean; he does that all the time, but you probably knew that. he figures you're leaving to catch a breath of fresh air—to be away from the tension-filled environment for a bit, you had a habit of doing that at home. he sighs as he ponders over his words for a bit. he knew it was wrong to display such harshness to you, but you probably knew he didn't mean anything by it. he always bubbled over rash things when he was frustrated. 

the sun sets in front of him, painting hues of aubergine and peach as it flows down. he wonders where you are, getting up from his spot by the lake to venture towards the path you walked off. 

only when he can't find you, is when he thinks that you might've actually taken offense to his words. although he cares about you sincerely, he finishes his mission first, getting a lead on the abyss order—because protecting monstadt was his first priority. you lingered in his mind every second of every day till he finally got back home. and when he didn't find you there, he asks adelinde about it, who only shakes her head and tells him, "i'm sorry, master diluc, but i haven't seen them come back. i thought they were with you."

it all pieces together in his mind now, how a small gasp had escaped your lips when he had called you a burden. the way you nodded begrudgingly, getting up and walking away from his presence as your shoulders trembled. the way he could hear you choke back a sob, but still ignored it, thinking you had overreacted in the situation. 

he searches the whole city for you. he searches every nook and corner, and even walks into the headquarters of the knights of favonius(he ignores kaeya's teases instead of biting back this time). and when he finally sees you, he holds himself back. his hand is suspended awkwardly in the air as he reaches out for you, your back turned towards him. 

maybe this was better—maybe it was a good thing that you had walked away from him. this way, the abyss order won't be able to harm you. this way, he won't be able to harm you. this way, you'll be safe and sound, away from the storm known as diluc ragnvindr.

— CHILDE.

“it’s not like you mean anything to me.”

it's not often you see childe. he's always in liyue, and you're here, stuck in monstadt or snezhnaya. it's cold today(as it always is) in snezhnaya, the snow covered almost everything outside as you looked out of your window, sipping on hot coffee as you sigh at the wilting roses on the sill. they'd wilted when you had gone to monstadt and you didn't have the heart to plant new ones.

just thinking about the blue-eyed childish man would make your heart bloom and cheeks flustered. you longed to spend more time with him, really. if only he wasn't affiliated with the fatui, he'd be able to spend more time with you. it had been months since you had seen him, and you longed to be in his arms once again, but who knows when that'll happen again? whenever he comes home, he chooses to spend a night with you and then head back. he'd laugh alongside you, tell you about his adventures, and give small reactions when you told him about yours. and the next morning, you'd wake up to an empty bed with a small note by the table, saying how he has to leave for work.  

a knock at your door snaps you out of your entranced state. as you open the lock and look out, you see childe, standing there with a tired grin and disheveled hair as he walks in without a word. he hands you a small paper bag, saying, "i brought you back something from liyue this time."

the same excuse, you think. it's always the same. he brings back small mementos and souvenirs as a pretense for staying, and by the time you think you can forgive him, he's gone. he plops down onto the sofa, stretching his arm out so you could join him. the thought of confronting him crosses your mind, but you shake it off—since he had only just gotten back. 

the night is the same as always. talking about each others' adventures, eating dinner by the fireplace, laughing alongside one another until you hit the bed. it's quiet now as you watch over his sleeping figure, his lapis-colored eyes now hidden. you sigh as you lay there for hours on end, twiddling with his brown hair as you wait for him to wake up(so this time you can actually say goodbye). 

when his eyes flutter open, he's a little taken aback when he looks over at you to see you wide awake. his brows furrow just a smidge as he says, "you're up."

"well, i wanted to say goodbye this time," you chuckle dryly, "you always leave without waking me up."

"i don't like the way you said that," he says, getting up from his position on the bed. you look away from him, your eyes displaying hurt as you murmur, "i don't like the way you leave."

"well, it's my job. it's not like i'm an adventurer like you, wasting my time around. i'm a harbinger and i have responsibilities," he says. his voice is neither too soft and nor too prickly, and you can tell that he's a little worked up by the way he lightly nips on the skin of his bottom lip as his gaze bores into you. 

"i didn't say you don't. all i said was that you could maybe sometimes stay for more than one night. it feels like you're using me, and when you're bored, you leave."

"oh?" he cocks an eyebrow as he stands up, "i'm using you, huh?"

you grimace at the tone of his voice, and when you look at him, you notice the sheer annoyance he puts up towards you. your voice is small when you ask him if he loves you—because you don't know anymore. seeing him once in a few months for the past few years has sure hurt you more than anything, and if you don't tell him now, then you might never get a chance. 

"what if i say i don't?" he smirks, walking up to you, "it's not like you mean anything to me. what if i agree that i am using you to make myself happy until i'm bored, so i can then throw you away?"

he doesn't like what he's saying either. his mind is screaming at him to stop, but he's worked up. he's irritated by the way you jabbed at him first thing in the morning, even though he knows you're right. his heart almost stops when he looks at the expression on your face after he says those words, and as he reaches out his hand for you, you turn away. 

your voice cracks, and he's sure his heart did as well when you mumble, "i-i'd like you to leave, please."

"wait, i didn't mean-"

"tartaglia," your eyes look into his, perhaps for the last time, as you give him a sad smile, "you don't have to come back to me anymore."

it hurts him as he leaves your home that morning. it hurts him when he comes back months later to see that your home is now empty. it hurts him because he tarnished the you that was once his. 

it hurts him, but he thinks it's for the best if you stay away from him if all he does is bring you pain.

— ZHONGLI.

“i’d like you to leave me alone.”

zhongli was never one to pick fights. he was peaceful; his thoughts were positive(most of the time), and he almost always preferred to talk about his problem rather than fighting about it—he believes that fighting will only bring pain, so why not confide in one another about our problems instead?

he's quiet. he's not shy(it's quite the opposite, actually), but he's one to prefer to only talk when absolutely necessary. he's the type to listen rather than speak, saying something like, "we have two ears and one mouth. speak less than you listen."

he smiles when his mind goes back to the time when he said that to you while having a cup of tea together, and you'd replied, "my mother used to tell me that when i was a child."

because it's true; every child in liyue harbor has heard those words at least once in their lives. the quality of listening is appreciated more than the quality of speaking—and zhongli, for one, was a listener. 

you, on the other hand, were a speaker. you always woke him up every morning with a smile as bright and everlasting as the sun, babbling about breakfast and tea as he got up from the bed. you were the one that carried conversations on your shoulders on morning walks, you were the one that intertwined your fingers with his as the two of you walked amongst flowers, adoring them as you talked about the contrasting colors of silk flowers and glaze lilies. he loved you for that. he loved you because you were a speaker. he loved you because you were a perfect balance, the only one who could soften his hardened heart. the only one whom he'd chosen to wake up next to in the mornings, the only one whom he'd let ruffle his hair without asking(because he secretly liked it). 

so why had he reversed the roles tonight? why was he the one to bubble out his frustrations to you, speaking in a cold and stern manner instead of the loving tone that was only reserved for you? why was he the one to speak tonight, and why were you the one to listen?

it's not like he was actually frustrated—he was only thinking about something else as you asked him what he wanted for dinner. it surely wasn't your fault when he had poured over turbulent words to you. and he knows that the ones that hurt the most probably were, "i'd like you to leave me alone."

he looks up at the stars, a heavy sigh escaping his lips as he walks back into his shared home with you. he looks around, and when there's no sign of you, he feels himself break apart even more. 

had you actually left? he wants to run to you and tell you he hadn't meant any of those words because he hadn't. he wants to touch you, to caress you, to please you, to make you smile—and he wants to admit he was wrong. he wants to make it right, but he doesn't know where you are. 

he walks into the empty bedroom, sitting on the cold mattress as his eyes sting. he doesn't understand what's happening, or why there are small drops of water falling from his eyes. he doesn't understand why everything feels heavy all of a sudden—his heart, his throat his lungs, everything. he doesn't understand why he feels like he's trapped in a box, and the water seems to be filling up more quickly than he'd prefer. he wants to reach for air, but he can't.

he couldn't breathe without you. 

he hears the door close and immediately gets up in haste to walk to the living room where he sees you take off your boots. you turn around to see him, his disheveled hair and frantic eyes finally calming as he walks over to you and engulfs you in a warm embrace. his throat cleared up, and so did his heart and lungs as he mumbles against your ear, "i'm so sorry."

you smile smally, looking up at him as you cup his cheeks and wipe a stray tear, and mutter, "it's okay, zhongli. stress gets to the best of us."

god, how he loves you. he places a small peck on the top of your forehead as he feels his lips turn upward at your touch and the scent of glaze lilies lingering over you tells him that you'd been to the flower garden. he sleeps with your fingers weaved with his that night and pulls you even closer if you untangle with him in sleep. 

he makes a promise to himself saying he'd never hurt you like that again, and he keeps it.

© all works belong to admiringlove on tumblr. plagiarism is strictly prohibited.

[twistedmusings]

How the dorm leaders react when they catch you kissing someone from their dorm [Part 2]

A/N: AND HERE IT IS! Oh my god I still can't believe I managed to get this done! I actually stayed on task! Honestly these three were probably my favourite from the original post, I've had far too much fun writing these bois.

And what can I say? Playfully flirty MC is a good MC u wu

Warnings: Heavy smooching, possessive talk, and the reader just really pushing the dorm leader's buttons~

Part 1 here!

“How dare you...?”

Vil was more than happy to be coming back to Pomefiore with all the stuff that had happened today. Classes were more annoying than usual, he had to chase Leona down to tell him to get his work done and there had been some problems in the modeling studio that caused the lights to be brighter than usual and now he had a headache that only a nap could fix.

Thing was, if he wanted to keep his schedule as tight as possible he would need to stay awake for...another 6 hours.

One good thing was waiting for him though. Rook had greeted him at the entrance and let him know that the Ramshackle prefect was in the dorm today as per his request.

Good.

This would keep him awake. He remembers promising you a lesson in proper skincare in order to remedy whatever you did once you woke up in the morning. Deep in the back of his head he remembers you telling him that you just splash cold water on your face but he preferred to think that you at least put some sort of moisturizer. Maybe.

He rushes to his room to freshen up and makes sure that he has the materials he needs. Vil had decided that his own brand of face cleansing products would be a good start for your skin. The tingles in his fingertips went ignored as he thought of you thinking about him in the morning. It wasn’t that sort of thing at all, he reminded himself. Dorm leaders were supposed to help each other out, despite how often they were at each other’s throats, and he was just fulfilling his role not just as a dorm leader but as a...friend.

Vil takes one last look at the mirror and makes his way down the row of rooms in Pomefiore to reach the Lounge, only to stop when he sees you being pulled into one of the many rooms by what was clearly a Pomefiore’s students hand.

Wait what?

It’s almost alarming how quickly he approaches the door and puts his foot in it, choosing to stay quiet as he sees that the two people in the room didn’t even bother to wonder why the door hadn’t closed all the way. The student was pressing kisses against your lips in small intervals, choosing instead to talk as you run your hands up the expensive purple robe and taking in the little designs.

“I had a new lip scrub I wanted you to try out.”

“Really? Then why aren’t we in the bathroom?"

“That’s rather forward for a dorm leader. Is everyone in Ramshackle this daring?”

Vil couldn’t even pinpoint the student’s name. That was your first offense. The only thing he remembers about him is the man’s caramel brown hair and how it contrasted beautifully against his dark skin. After that, nothing could pop into his head that would make that student even remotely interesting for you to be hanging off of him like that! Of all the people to be with, it just had to be a nameless potato, didn’t it?

The hairs at the back of his head stand up as the potato hands you what he believes to be the best lip scrub in the business, which only makes the alarms in Vil’s head go off even louder. That brand wasn’t even known for doing lip scrubs! In fact, they once put out a three in one shampoo/conditioner and the fact that the student even had that brand in the dorms and you just blatantly accepting it was your second offense.

And as much as he wanted to focus on that being the thing that truly bothered him, he felt the alarms deafening him as he saw the potato’s hands wrap around your waist as he kissed you again, your lips parting to let him inside.

He shouldn’t be looking at this, he should be leaving and just leave you to your own devices. The lesson wasn’t important, you weren’t that important to him--

Amethyst eyes widen when you tilt your head as the student starts kissing down your neck, already choosing one spot to make his own as he licks and nips at the skin while you dig your fingers into his robe.

Vil didn’t really know how to describe the sudden surge of energy that caused him to fling the door open and grab the student by the back of his robe and pull him backwards, eyes glaring at you the entire time as you whisper his name, as if suddenly remembering that you had a previous engagement before this whole ‘sticking your tongue down a Pomefiore student’s throat’’ business.

“Prefect. My room. Now.”

You put your hands up and walk out of the room without looking at him, Vil letting go of the student’s robes and walking out after you. He didn’t even need to tell him that he was in trouble, the student would realize it soon enough once Rook delivered the chores that needed to be done by tonight.

A list only that student would be getting instead of the entire dorm.

Vil closes the door of his room and turns the lock rather harshly, looking back at you sitting at the edge of his bed still staring at the window. You weren’t trying to defend yourself, you weren’t even looking at him.

“I hate to be kept waiting, Prefect. Not just that, it is extremely rude to keep someone waiting just so you can fraternize with someone in my dorm.”

No answer. He grabs his desk chair and sits down so he can face you directly.

“What made you go and pick that potato?”

“Why would that be any of your business Vil-senpai?”

It was very much his business, if you asked him. He would have been okay if it was Epel or even Rook that you had picked to make out with but he wasn’t just going to stand around and watch as one of the student’s whose name he didn’t even know threw all of his work out of the window! So he asked the question again, this time getting a chuckle as an answer which only served to upset him even more.

“Out of anyone in my dorm you could have picked, you had to go with someone who offers you such a low quality brand of lip scrub?”

“That is your problem with this? What he offered me? Me and him just started hanging out, we know nothing about each other! I just wanted to change that.”

His headache was coming back again.

Vil put hard work into everything he did. That was his work ethic and people be damned if they thought it was too much. Maybe they couldn’t handle it but they still respected it, respected his craft and the work he put into it.

So why do you, of all of his recent projects, disrespect him so blatantly?

It was clear you weren’t ready yet, Vil wasn’t done working with you yet. After doing something like this, and right inside his dorm, he knew that you had just taken all of the careful brushes and strokes he had decorated your canvas with…

And burnt it right in front of his eyes.

Which is why he didn’t necessarily feel any guilt when he grabbed your cheeks and pulled his own lipstick out of his back pocket, ignoring your protests.

“Quiet.”

He applies the shade quickly and before you have any chance to protest, pushes his lips against yours.

The kiss is anything but sweet. It’s almost punishing. Vil was reminding you that you were a work in progress. He still had so much left to teach you, so much left to work with you and if you kept rushing things you were going to make him mad. Once he was done with you, you could go about your pitiful little life and kiss whoever you wanted and he wouldn’t even bat an eyelash.

A hand grasps at his wrists as you press his palms on your cheeks, your tongue gently pressing against his lips so you could slip inside--

Nevermind. This sort of impatient kissing would also have to go.

He pulls away and pushes you onto the mattress, your eyes hazy with eagerness and confusion as Vil removes his jacket and gloves and leans down to trap you below him.

“Were you this greedy with him? Did he also get this treatment from you? No, don’t answer. I fear I’ll only get angrier if you do. Now be an obedient little potato and stay still, the first thing I’ll fix is that messy kissing of yours.”

“ :( “

Snacks runs had to be the most annoying and heart pounding of his usual daily life quests. If waking up was a struggle enough, especially when no special loot such as new anime or manga was available, it was hard to complete such basic tasks without some sort of incentive.

Although Idia guessed that not dying of starvation was enough of an incentive.

He walks down the corridor of his own dorm, humming a quiet tune to himself as he looks down at all the snacks he had acquired. Which, score! They even had a limited edition chip flavor that came with the card of one of his favourite idols! It took everything in his power to not just spend all of his money on more than one bag but he had such a good day today that he knew his gacha pull luck just had to be good.

The door to a room behind him opens, Idia quickly picking up his pace and hiding behind a corner as he looks at who it could be. He isn't against anyone in his dorm but...he didn't have the means to engage in any conversation that wasn't about his current FPS game or Gakemo so--

"Thank you for the help! I thought my phone was beyond repair!"

His hands tighten around the chips pressed tight to his chest, eyes wide in surprise as he sees you stepping out of the room.

Of all people...why were you here so late?

The student laughs as he scratches the back of his head, handing you back your phone and looking away.

“No--No problem! I...I honestly didn’t think you would come to me for help. I integrated the newest magical technology on it as well as voice activated features and a--a brand new messaging app that sends messages faster!”

Idia clicked his tongue as he heard the student speak. Look at him showing off. You didn’t know that he was taking advantage of your naive mind! You didn’t know anything about magic so, of course, all those features would sound fancy!

When it was literally taking your phone and just downloading some fancy new apps on it!

Yet there you were, marveling down at it as if you had just gotten the latest version.

Well maybe he shouldn’t complain too much, even from here he could see your smile. A part of him worried that all this luck he was suddenly getting would affect the luck he would get on his chip bag but...you were worth it.

Such a rare event shouldn’t be left unnoticed.

Maybe...maybe if he stayed here you could walk by and he could open up the ‘bumping into each other late at night’ event?

“So how can I repay you? Do you need anything done?”

Idia tunes back into the conversation as he frowns, looking back at the two of you as the student looks at every single corner of the ceiling instead of looking at you.

Payment? The guy had just downloaded a couple of apps that wasn’t good enough reason to offer some sort of payment. He frowns and taps his foot impatiently as the guy stutters out a few excuses before finally giving you an answer.

“A ki--A kiss? Would that be alright?”

The Ignihyde dorm leader almost falls down as he hears that, retreating further into his corner as he glared daggers at the guy who had just dared to ask for such a bold request.

A k--kis--kiss? A kiss...from you?

This guy was starting to piss him off! He should just be content staring at you! You were a SSR character all on your own! That guy should be happy he even got to talk to you at all and shouldn’t ask for more than he was given! He already rolled for such a life changing event why would he even want more!

His eyes soften when he sees you mull it over. It was okay, you could reject him. Such a guy wouldn’t even be worthy of a kiss from you so you so all you had to do was say no! Go on, [Y/N], just reject hi--

Idia can feel his heart breaking as his muscles stop working, dropping all of his stuff on the floor with a thud as the sound echoes. Yet it went ignored, the other two people in the hallway too busy with their own activities.

When...when had you even kissed him? Idia only remembers you putting your phone away and the moment he blinked you had already pressed your lips against that other guy--!

He should be leaving, why isn’t he moving?

The student’s hand goes to your waist as you deepen it, his face turning a deep shade of red as you pull away and tap his lips.

“Was that your first kiss?”

“...y--yes..”

You were smiling and giving him such a rare, almost ultimately rare item and Idia didn’t know how long he could stare until he combusted.

So all he could do was turn around…

And run as fast as he could.

He ignored the familiar voice calling out his name, footsteps quickly following him as he started to run out of breath.

Making a poor otaku like him run, even now you were still being so cruel to him!

Idia’s door slides open as he bursts inside, ready to bury himself in his bed and never come out again--!

Only to stop when he hears you hiss in pain.

Blue eyes turn around to see your foot jammed into his doorway, not allowing the electric door to slide closed. A part of him wants to immediately go to you and ask if you were alright but he stops himself as the image of your kiss flashes through his mind again.

“[Y/N]-shi! W--What--!”

You rub at your foot and sigh, walking in with a confused look as Idia presses his back against his bookshelf. He knew it. If a SSR character could be brought to real life, this is the sort of power they would have over him.

The kind of aura you were emitting was enough for him to want to get on his knees, but he chose to remain strong.

“I was calling out to you…didn’t you hear me?”

Idia turns his head and looks at the floor, the pain still raw and emotionally taxing than what he was used to. Disappointment was one thing but heartbreak was a complete other monster!

“Shouldn’t--Shouldn’t you be with your boyfriend?”

He spits the word out, annoyed that a guy from his dorm could unlock...no...could get someone like you. You were open to every single activity Idia gave you, you gave him good feedback and didn’t get scared when you two disagreed on something. Every manga he gave you, you read and every anime he told you to watch, you would watch it.

You were receptive, you were attentive, you were what Idia wanted in a real life friend!

He hadn’t dared hope for more!

That still didn’t mean he couldn’t fantasize when he was all by himself.

“Boyfriend…?”

You tilt your head in confusion before chuckling as you realized what had happened.

“Oh so you saw that.”

Is that all you were going to say?! You had just taken his heart and crushed it into tiny little pieces and you were just going to talk about what a pervert he was being!

Someone just KO him now, like right now!

“Yes...I saw. So what? You were just ki-kissi--doing that thing from everyone to see! So you should just go back to him instead of bullying me in my own room!”

Please just leave, he wanted to cry in peace.

Yet you stubbornly remain, just like the first time he met you.

“Idia I don’t know what crazy assumptions you are making but that guy isn’t my boyfriend.”

You put up one finger.

“He fixed my phone…”

Another one follows after.

“And he asked for a kiss for payment. Simple as that. You shouldn’t act like you caught us doing something major. It was just a kis---”

Large hands land on your shoulders as Idia now stands in front of you, head hung low as he mutters something to himself.

“Just a kiss….just a kiss.”

You jump as he gets close to your face, eyes staring at you pleadingly as he cupped your face.

“JUST A KISS? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU ARE? AN EXTRA RARE CHARACTER SUCH AS YOURSELF SHOULDN’T BE GIVING OUT SUCH RARE ITEMS LIKE THAT!”

He shakes you back and forth.

“IF YOUR KISS WAS JUST NORMAL THEN EVEN I...I COULD--”

Idia’s eyes fall on your lips, the rush of adrenaline mixed in with his built up desire for you all culminating in two choices popping up in his head. And for the first time, he knew that hesitation was not an option.

So he dives in.

His lips met yours roughly, not really moving them or anything but just pressing them against you. You put your hands gently on his chest but he takes it as a protest, which only causes him to push them onto yours even more.

This was...disastrous.

He had never kissed anyone before. How in the world did he think that he would be able to kiss you? Ah, maybe this was a dream? Right! He had just dreamed all of this up and you didn’t really force your way into his room to confront him!

His hair flares up when you cup his face, pushing him away slightly and tilting him in such a way that your lips would meet in a much softer fashion. He looks down and sees you closing your eyes, following in your footsteps and melting inside your kiss.

You both pull away slowly, Idia opening his eyes and blushing when he sees you licking your lips and sending him a teasing grin.

A rare sight...made only for him.

“I feel like I just spent all my stamina on this one event...so I don’t want to go unrewarded. Can we go further? I want to go further. What option do I have to pick for you to do that again, [Y/N]?”

“Don’t touch them.”

“YOUNG MASTER! WHERE ARE YOU!”

Malleus sighs as he looks on at the Diasmonia students gathered around the outskirts of the school, smiling as he sees Sebek directing them each and every way. Sebek really didn’t give up, did he? One of his classes had been canceled and he was eager to see the gargoyles around Ramshackle in a much better light but he figured Sebek would cause up a stir when he didn’t find him in his classroom.

As much as he appreciated him, Sebek didn’t have to walk him to every single class.

He sighs and goes deeper into the woods behind Ramshackle, the small broken path there leading him down a familiar terrain.

This is where he usually walked with you, after all.

Seeing this place in bright light was so very different. Instead of it being illuminated by his lights, the sun peeked out from over the trees and provided a sunny trail instead of the usual moonlight. He took a deep breath as he breathed in the smell of flowers all around, all of them growing wildly around him and defying any human to try and tame them.

His fingers trace some of the thorns he found on some of them, the flowers attracted to his touch and moving closer to his hands as a small vine wrapped around his finger.

All with his magic’s help after all.

This was his safe space. Malleus would come here during his first and second year and lose himself in the wilderness. In here no one would fear him. Here every single thing was responsive to his touches and even dared to touch back. Some of the wild rose bushes also reminded him of him, Malleus adding a bit more thorns around the flowers as in to emulate the very home he missed.

In this lonely place, he flourished.

But it wasn’t so lonely now, was it?

His third year had brought one big surprise. A human. A child of man who did not know who he was or what he was capable of. They looked at him as if he was just any other stranger roaming around their dorm and not the next ruler of the Valley of Thorns.

And Malleus, being the very curious person he is, found himself pulled to your inattentiveness.

He had dropped many hints that he was eager to get to know you more, relishing in the fact that you two were starting to get closer. And while he had hoped to keep his identity a secret a bit longer, he found it almost unbearable for you to not know who he was.

If you were so open with who you were, then he should show you the same kind of respect.

How wonderful that you were now on a first name basis with each other.

Malleus could walk over to Ramshackle dorm now and knock on your door without hesitation, smiling as he sees your excitement at just what places you two would discover in the dead of night.

Bummer you couldn’t be with him now.

He had seen you come out of your dorm and ask Sebek if he needed any help, to which the fae replied rather rudely that no human could ever track down his young master, so he was a bit reluctant to discover any more places without you by his side.

These walks were something you two did together, after all.

So he remained at this spot, touching everything and anything that would strike his fancy while going deeper and deeper into a small clearing you two had found. A large tree decorated its middle, the leaves falling gently upon the ground as the sun shone down on the large pond that provided this part of the forest with the water it needed to balance out the sun’s gentle rays.

“Shhhh, don’t make too much noise.”

Malleus stops as he hears your voice, his head immediately turning towards the sound as he hears rustling behind him. He smiles and turns to where he thought you were coming from only to be struck by a sudden idea--and immediately hiding among the trees and bushes so you couldn’t see him.

Would you be surprised to find him here?

He hoped so. Malleus had the habit of appearing to you suddenly so this wouldn’t be breaking any traditions between you two. If he played his cards right, you might join him on a walk all the way to the edge of the island.

“Prefect do you know where you are going?”

“I do! I’ve been here so many times. Now come on!”

Another person’s voice. No...he had heard that voice before.

Malleus retreats back into his hiding spot as he sees you rush by, holding by the hand a Diasmonia student as he rushes to follow you. You smile and turn around, still holding his hand while the other looked on in amazement at where you had led him.

“Prefect...this is…”

“Like it? Me and Malleus found it a while ago. This is how we know we are close to the edge of the forest.”

The Diasmonia dorm leader smiles as he watches you show the student around, pointing out different sights and sounds as the other watched on in amazement. That student probably had never gone anywhere this secret and while Malleus was glad you were showing off the place you two shared…

There was a feeling deep inside his chest that flared up angrily as he caught the student looking at you more than his surroundings.

Green eyes watch as the student’s hand clenches and unclenches, seemingly working up the courage to do something as you continue speaking. Which was rather rude, in Malleus’s opinion. You were explaining some wonderful things about the flora here and he was just staring at you without engaging in the conversation.

And how did you two know each other? Malleus had never mentioned you in Diasmonia except to Silver and Lilia, had he known you before him?

Malleus hands grip the tree bark tighter as the student takes your hand, stopping your explanation as he gets you to focus your attention on him.

What--?

“I’ve been eager to find some time alone with you.”

The student clears his throat before pulling you by the hand gently, your surprised look turning into one of playfulness as you follow along with his movements. He leads you to the edge of the pond, spinning you around as you allow him to position you in such a way that you are now closer to him than before.

Which only makes the angry feeling in Malleus’s gut flare up even more.

“Have you now? What for?”

An answer Malleus wanted to know as well.

Blushing, the student smiles and leads you into a dance with no music which only served to make you laugh and make Malleus’s fingers dig deep into the wood of the poor tree.

In the dragon fae’s eyes, you two are dancing for hours without caring about who was around. Why had he even brought you here? This student was part of Sebek’s surveillance crew and yet here he was not doing his job. But he wasn’t the one who brought you here…

You were.

Your actions were lost on Malleus as the dance finishes up, the student dipping you low before bringing you up.

“So you brought me here to dance? Who knew Diasmonia students were so charming.”

Malleus didn’t like the way you were smiling, nor how your hands rested on the student’s shoulders. He hadn’t seen this side of you before, you were playing along with this student and his motives.

Had you always been so playful? Malleus had only seen you during the night and whenever you two spoke it was a conversation worthy of two friends sharing experiences together.

But not this...never this…

“Well, not just a dance. I’ve wanted to state my intentions outright.”

The tree starts to crack slowly as Malleus can feel more thorns growing out of the rose bushes around him.

“Ever since you arrived, you have been an enigma to me. You are always so helpful even to those who do not seek your aid. Even now, you didn’t have to help me search for our Young Master."

He wasn’t searching for anyone, he was too close to you for Malleus’s liking and he needed to learn how to respect your boundaries.

“Yet you still offered me your help...and I…I want to...”

The student was leaning closer as his hands slid down to your waist, Malleus staring as you started to tilt your head as you placed your hands on his chest while his lips were dead set on meeting yours--!

Your face is tilted up as cold lips meet yours, your mouth opening in a surprised gasp as the hold the student had on you was no longer shy and timid but angry and possessive. These lips were pulling you in closer and closer, greedily eating each and every sound you were making as the air was slowly stolen from your lungs.

A string of saliva is left hanging as you two separate, your eyes fluttering open as you think of something to say to such a ravishing kiss.

Only for them to open wide in surprise as you see who you had really kissed.

“Malleus!?”

You turn to look behind the fae’s back, the Diasmonia student looking at his Young Master in mild panic and surprise while Malleus presses you close against his chest, clearly hiding you from view.

Right before the student even had a chance to taste your lips, Malleus had rushed out of his hiding place and pulled him away by the collar of his shirt.

For a dragon to watch on as something that was his was so close to be taken away, the surprise must have gotten to him.

“Go tell Sebek to head back to Diasmonia and call off his search. I will be there by nightfall.”

The student tries to stutter out a response but Malleus glares back as he keeps you pressed firmly against him.

“Now.”

You watch the student leave in a hurry, following the broken path you had led him in with. Your eyes peek up to look at Malleus but the dorm leader waits until the sound of footsteps is long gone before tilting your face up again and leaning down to press his lips against yours in another rough and dominating kiss.

Hands push you forward as your back collides with the huge tree in the clearing, Malleus making sure that the back of your head meets the bark gently as his lips never parted from yours. You wrap your arms around him as best as you could and let out an involuntary squeak when the fae decides to pick you up so that you could pull him in even closer.

He is the one to pull away first, hands firmly on your bottom as you wrap your legs around his waist to support yourself.

“Malleus--”

The fae presses another kiss to your lips, effectively silencing you so that all your attention would be on him.

“Don’t ever bring someone else into this place, child of man. Do I make myself clear? This place is our haven and I will not have someone else come steal both it and you away from me. Well, even if you don’t understand, I’ll make sure to explain it to you thoroughly. Now...kiss me again.”