#okay wait. wait. i might have just solved this problem with this post

[springismss]

my needy ass is here again im sorry because your writing has me in a chokehold and the way you portray dabi is just UGGHHH has me salivating each time I read your content 🙏🏻😩

especially the jealous!dabi content ��� i just love me a possessive man omgomg-

I had a situation at work where this dude who works at the IT department had been hitting on me for a while, (and of course i was clueless) until he decided to ask me out n stuff, all while insisting for me to accept it even when i refused. Not a very pleasant experience cause ugh … men 🤢 but likeeee… I couldn’t stop thinking of Dabi’s reaction to this situation~ casually telling him what happened and him going batshit crazy, or maybe he has an unusual calm which gives you the chills because you have no idea what he will do next? But you can see it in his eyes, the burning inferno of jealousy~

ALSO TAKE YOUR TIME W THIS ONE, no rush at all, remember to take breaks, rest and hydrate yourself 🩵 mwah

ᱬ⛧ only you ~ dabi

pairing: dabi x girlfriend! reader

content: 18+ mdni. work place toxicity (persistent coworker), marking, p in v, slight fingering, implied cum pluging, implied multiple rounds, implied multiple positions, reader is called doll/princess/sweatheart/good girl/baby/cock sleeve/slut (not in a derogatory way), general NSFW content

word count: 2.5k

links: request masterlist | bnha/mha masterlist | masterlist | jealousy, jealousy (dabi's version)

a/n: second post in one day, back with another request. this is kind of linked to the dabi version of jealousy, jealousy (which is linked above). i hope you enjoy this b, my love! as always likes, comments and re-blogs are deeply appreciated!

Drumming your fingers on your desk, you rested your chin in your free hand and sighed. Yet again, your work profile wouldn't accept your password despite typing it in correctly. You'd even taken your time, pressing each key and waiting a few seconds to make sure it was typed in correctly.

'The referenced account is currently locked out and may not be logged on to'.

"You've got to be kidding me". Rubbing your temple, you reached for the phone on your desk and pressed one of the buttons near the display. After a few moments, the number dialled and a voice rang out, making you smile slightly. "Hello there, my most favourite girl in the world! What can I do for you?".

"Ryōsuke, I might have locked myself out of my computer. Could you give me a hand?". The line was silent for a moment, causing your eyes to glance at the phone screen, seeing the number still being called. "How have you managed that, angel?".

Raising your brow, you took a moment to catch up with what he said, the sound of his voice bringing you back to reality. "Sweetheart, are you still there?". Blinking for a moment, you swallowed thickly. "Huh, yeah, I'm still here. I may or may not have entered my password incorrectly".

A small chuckle on the other end of the phone sounded. "I'll be right there".

The clacking of your keyboard sounded as you stared at the screen, the jumble of numbers and letters of the code made your head hurt. "And there we go, you just need to enter your new password, okay, darling".

You noticed the pet name again. Chalking it up to him being friendly, you hummed out and tapped your fingers on the keyboard, inputting your new password, completely unaware of the eyes watching what you entered.

That's how it all started to snowball. The constant problems you had that only Ryōsuke could solve. The IT problems that you seemed to have, no one else did.

Then came the pet names. Names that you brushed off as being friendly. The compliments soon followed. How your outfit looked good on you, how your makeup suited your features, how the one particular shade of lipstick seemed to make your lips look even fuller, how the way you wore your hair a certain way really complemented your beautiful face.

Everything seemed innocent enough until one day, you found yourself in a situation that you didn't feel all too comfortable with.

Groaning out, you stretched in your chair, sighing at the popping you felt. It was nearly finishing time, and you were thankful the day had flown over. "Ahhh, there's my girl! I've got something to ask you".

Glancing over your shoulder, you saw Ryōsuke standing at your cubicle. "Oh, Ryōsuke, what can I do for you?". Turning in your chair, you faced him and tilted your head, waiting for his question. "I was wondering if you'd like to go out on a date after work tomorrow? Have something to eat and drink, get to know each other a little better?".

The words caused your throat to dry, a lump forming as you felt your stomach drop. "Oh erm... Thank you, but I'd like to just keep this a workplace friendship if that's okay".

Keeping your gaze fixed on him, you saw his brows furrow, features scrunching up as he walked forward, stopping in front of you. Leaning over, he placed his fingers under your chin and tilted your head, his eyes scanning over your features. "Oh, come on, beautiful. I'm sure I could persuade your pretty face to come with me".

The heat in your face increased as you tried to move your head, tried your best to get away from his touch with little success. "Ryō, I....".

"Oh, come on, beautiful, I'll make it worth your while". Pushing your chair back, you took in a breath, hands shaking slightly. "Let me think about it and I'll let you know after work".

While not the answer he wanted, Ryōsuke accepted it and stood, walking away from you, leaving you alone with your racing heart and erratic thoughts. Not before looking over his shoulder and smirking.

Rushing to turn off your computer, you grabbed everything you needed and rushed out of the office. All you wanted to do was get home, get back to the safety of the four walls. Most of all, get back to him, the only person who you'd ever give everything of yourself.

Slamming the door shut, you leaned against it and sighed out, throwing everything to one side as you finally broke. Hand clasped over your mouth, you stifled your sobs, not wanting to alert the other person to your current emotional state.

Only it was too late. The sound of heavy boots thudding caused you to look up, tears slipping down your cheeks as you felt a wave of relief wash over you. "Who the fuck made you cry doll?".

Rushing forward, you gripped ahead of his top, burying your face in his chest as you sobbed out. "Touya, he's gotten worse". At those words, the raven-haired male wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer to him. "Tell me all about it, baby".

Tilting your head, you looked up at him, eyes slightly puffy as you told him what Ryōsuke had said. How he wouldn't take no for an answer, and how he expects you to give him the one he wants tomorrow.

Closing your eyes, you calmed yourself for a moment. Opening them once more, you cast your gaze up, fully expecting Dabi to be wearing that face he does when he wants to get revenge on someone.

Except he wasn't. He looked as calm and nonchalant as ever. And that unnerved you.

The next day came quicker than you wanted it to. The nauseous feeling spreading throughout you. You spent your entire shift purposely avoiding Ryōsuke.

Once it came time for you to finish, you quickly logged out and rushed out, pressing your back against the wall as you sighed out in relief. You'd gone the entire day without seeing him, and you were finally home free.

Or so you thought.

"Ahhh, there you are, my darling!". The sound of the voice made you stiffen up. Your throat drying up, and your palms beginning to feel clammy. Glancing to your side, you saw him. The way he walked towards you made you turn, quickly walking away as fast as you could.

Turning a corner, you thought you were home free until a hand grabbed your arm and pulled you back. Gasping, you stumbled slightly, hand grazing the wall as you tried to steady yourself. "Where do you think you're going? You owe me a date, don't forget, darling".

Tugging your arm, you tried to pull yourself free, the grip tightening more as you struggled. "Ryōsuke, please, I just want to go home". Moving closer to you, he smirked, eyes darkening. "How sweet. You're going on that date with me. Willing or not, the choice is yours".

Opening your mouth to retort, you took in a breath only to hear words being shouted from behind you. "Let her go or my face is the last thing you'll ever see".

Glancing over your shoulder, your eyes softened as you saw Dabi walking towards you. Hands stuffed in his pockets but ready to strike if he needed to. "Get lost, patchwork, this has nothing to do with you".

The heavy footsteps stopped beside you as you shivered. "Don't make me repeat myself. Let her go or I'll be the last person you ever see". Ryōsuke snorted, grip tightening as he pulled you to him. "Don't think I will. She's coming with me".

Feeling a hand grip yours, you looked to your side to see Dabi holding your hand. With a grin, he moved quickly, too quick for you to register.

The pressure on your arm disappeared as a grunt was heard. Looking at the ground, you saw Ryōsuke lying on his back, a bewildered look on his face. It took you a moment to catch up before you felt fingers under your chin, turning your gaze. Looking up, you saw those turquoise eyes you fell in love with staring back at you.

A small smile tugged at your lips as you wrapped your arms around him, face burying in his chest once more. "I'll give you one more chance. Either you leave my girlfriend alone and never bother her again or...".

You felt yourself being moved, back pressing against Dabi as your head was moved to the side. Hot breath fanned the sensitive skin of your neck. Biting your lip, you let your eyes flutter shut as he began placing kisses on your neck. Gentle at first, getting rougher with each passing kiss.

The pressure you felt on your skin shortly after made you suck in a breath, biting back a moan as you pushed yourself into Dabi. Your body relaxed as you gripped onto his arm that was wrapped around you.

With a small pop, you felt the pressure on your neck leave. A dull throbbing left in its place. Eyes burning into your soul as they stared at the mark they left. The same eyes turned their attention back to Ryōsuke. "...I'll make sure my face will be the last thing you see for all eternity".

Before he had a chance to respond, to say what he wanted to, you felt your body being turned and lifted up, thrown over a shoulder as you yelped. Reaching down, you gripped onto his jacket as you tried to get your bearings.

You didn't know how long he'd been walking until you felt yourself being dropped to your feet, and the blood rushing back down your body made you feel woozy. "Fuck sake Touya, you can't just do that".

Placing a hand on the wall behind you, you felt yourself being caged in. Eyes glancing around to see where you were. Rolling your eyes, you huffed. "Of all places, an alley. Really?".

"What can I say, doll, think I need to show you who you belong to". Before you had a chance to retort, you felt your skirt being hiked up, the thin material of your underwear being pulled to one side. "Don't you dare".

You knew it was foolish, Dabi did what he wanted when he wanted. The smirk on his face said it all as you felt him sink two fingers knuckle deep into your cunt without any prior warning. The stretch you felt made you gasp out, biting your lip to hold back the moan wanting to sound out.

"I think it's about time I remind you that this pretty little pussy of yours is mine, and mine only".

Whining out at the loss of his fingers, you gripped hold of his jacket just in time to feel your body being hoisted up, legs spread open as your underwear was ripped. Dripping cunt on display for your boyfriend to see. "Such a needy little slut, already dripping wet for me".

"Fuck, Touya, I need you". Closing your eyes, you arched your back, trying to push yourself down. "All in good time, doll, but remember what I told you to call me when I'm in this mood?".

Chewing your lip, you slipped your hand behind his head, fingers threading into his hair as you pulled his face closer to yours. "Need you to fuck me Dabi, stuff me full and show everyone who I belong to".

Pressing a rough kiss to your lips, Dabi gripped your hips and brought you down onto his cock. The mushroom head splitting your cunt open as he buried himself to the hilt, a moan of pleasure mixing in with the kiss you shared.

Pulling back, a thin trail of saliva connecting your lips together, he took a moment to look over your flushed face. "If it gets too much, remember to tell me, okay, princess".

Nodding your head, you smiled softly, free hand gripping his shoulder as he began pistoning his cock into you. Skin slapping against skin, lips clashing in desperation as he fucked your cunt.

Wrapping your legs around his waist, you pulled him closer to you, a soft moan passing your lips as he slipped deeper inside. "Fuck, Dabi, feel so good...". Of course, he knew it did; he could tell by the way your walls were clenching around him, trying to milk him of everything.

"I know it does doll, fuck, your pretty little pussy is mine and mine alone...". His thrusts slowed down, dragging his cock out of you slowly before thrusting it back in hard, chucking at the way your back ached as you moaned out. "...Now, let me fill that pussy of yours. Need to have you dripping all of me while we walk home".

Pulling out again, he dropped your legs to the floor as you moved your arms from him, fingers untangling from his hair. Turning you around, he manoeuvred your body before sinking you down once more on his cock, hands keeping your arms pinned behind your back as he quickly thrusted into you.

Mushroom head of his cock repeatedly slamming against that spongy spot inside.

With a desperate cry of his name, you felt your walls clamp around him, as you reached your euphoria. Jaw going slack as you stiffened. "That's my good girl, milking my cock beautifully".

That was enough for him to give in, to paint your insides white as he slammed his hips into you. Cock twitching as he shot ropes of his cum deep inside. Savouring the way your pussy kept him there, keeping his seed inside you.

Letting your arms go, Dabi pulled you against him, placing a soft kiss on your cheek. "Well done, doll, but we're just getting started". Running a hand down your back, he smirked at the way you shivered.

"When we get back home, I'll fuck that cunt of yours as many times as I need to. As many times as it takes for you to remember who you belong to...".

Pulling your head slightly, he looked over your flushed face, making sure to etch the image into his memory. "...As many times as I need until youre stuffed so full of my cum, you'll be dripping me for days. I'll mark you so everyone knows who you belong to".

The very thought made your pusys twitch, much to the delight of the male still buried inside you.

And by the time you got home, you found yourself face down against the mattress, fingers gripping the sheets as your knuckles turned white. Tears lined your eyes as your jaw stayed slack.

Whines and moans of desperation and need leaving your throat. Eyes rolling back at the feeling of Dabi's cock stretching your cunt open more. Marks littering your skin and your body trembled, crying out his name for anyone to hear.

"That's it doll, take my cock like the good little cock sleeve you are. I'm going to fuck this pussy of yours all night".

© springismss 2025 - don’t repost, copy, translate, steal or modify.

[mutopians]

ripple effect my beloved-detested. it has some of my FAVORITE character dynamics ever but dear GOD is it a pain in the ass getting thru canon sometimes. i love u ling, i really do, but i really DON'T want to write u meeting greed. but i have to. because PlotTM. and greedling. obviously.

[mggslover]

Stuck

In which reader finds herself stuck in an elevator with her colleagues.

Pairing: Hotch x Reid x Morgan x Fem!BAU!Reader Genre: smut (18+) Content warnings: fingering, oral (f and m receiving), face riding, p in v sex, overstimulation, masturbation, breast play Word count: 5,4k A/n: I'm ovulating, so you know what time it is 🤭 I'm really nervous to post this, so I hope you will enjoy!

“Oh, you guys are such babies!” You laugh as Spencer and Derek refuse to step into the elevator, explaining how they’ve been stuck in one before. 

“It’s not funny, Y/N,” Spencer chimes in. “There are six elevator deaths per year. Not to mention ten thousand injuries that require hospitalization.”   

You roll your eyes at his comment, just as Hotch walks toward the elevator. “See!” You exclaim. “Hotch is joining us, and he saved you last time. We’ll be fine.” You add cheerfully.

“You’re coming?” Hotch asks, holding the elevator door open. You nod, pulling Morgan and Reid with you by their arms. 

You chuckle at their nervous reflections in the mirror as the elevator starts moving. A sudden creak causes Derek to snap his head towards you. “It made the same sound the last time!” You were just about to shut Derek up as the elevator shakes and the lights start flickering. 

“Not again!” Spencer whimpers, his eyes squeezed shut like he’s about to fall to his death at any given moment.

Hotch inspects the tight space, his expression grim. “It seems like the electricity went out…” 

“Actually, there are a lot of reasons why an elevator might stop,” Spencer interjects. “It could be worn-out suspension ropes, and it actually happens quite regularly that the motor overheats the safety sensors of the-“ 

“Let’s just solve this problem, shall we?” You cut him off, nudging Morgan out of the way to hit the red button on the panel. 

“You think that’ll do something?” Morgan asks, brow lifted. 

“It will alert someone that we’re stuck. We have to wait until somebody comes and gets us out of here.” Hotch adds. 

“Well at least I’ll be missing my meeting with Strauss,” I sigh in relief. 

“It was at twelve, right?” Spencer asks. 

“Yeah,” you respond with a nod.

“Statistically the average wait time to be rescued from an elevator is less than an hour,” Spencer continues, checking his watch. “That means you could still make it in time.” 

“Now that’s just what I wanted to hear,” you say sarcastically, earning a grin from Morgan. 

“We can only hope we won’t be in here for that long,” Hotch mutters, his impatience visible as he leans uncomfortably against the elevator doors. 

“Okay… so now what? Want to go over a case to pass the time?” 

“No, no cases please,” Morgan groans. “We’ve had three in a row. I’m done.” 

“Morgan is right. We’ve done enough cases in the past few days.” Hotch agrees. 

You mutter an “alright” as you sit down with your back against the elevator wall, smoothing out the crinkles in your skirt. The others look at you with uncertainty. Eventually Reid decides to sit next to you, exchanging a soft smile. Morgan follows suit, sitting in front of you. Hotch remains standing. You leave him be and turn to Spencer. 

“So Reid, I’m sure you’ve got enough interesting facts to pass the time.” 

Spencer looks surprised by the request, not used to directly being asked to share his facts, but his eyes quickly brighten, eager to share. “Well, actually, there are a lot of interesting things to say about elevators. There are approximately 20 million elevators worldwide,” you chuckle at his obvious enthusiasm. “The first elevator was created in 236 B.C. by Archimedes, a Greek mathematician. He used a water wheel and tied animals together with rope to create a lift mechanism.” You hum in interest. “They used lifts in the Colosseum, right?” 

“Yes! Exactly!” he responds excitedly. “The system was powered by eight men who would turn this massive wooden shaft connected to ropes. It could hold more than 600 pounds!” 

“Oh come on,” Derek says, his hand falling to his knee. “You’re telling me you’re actually interested in the mechanics of ancient elevators?”. 

Hotch glances at Morgan, silently agreeing with Derek’s skepticism. 

“Derek Morgan…” you feign offense, placing a hand on your chest. “Don’t act like I’m not curious about knowledge. At least Spence’s got something interesting to say.” 

Spencer blushes faintly, appreciating your defense. 

“Hey, I know facts too,” Morgan says smugly. “How about there being 7000 languages in the world today.” 

“The overall number is actually closer to 8000,” Spencer corrects him. “You only counted verbal communication.” 

“You guys are going to have a facts competition now?” You ask, bewildered. “It’s way too hot in here. I need some light conversation.”

“I agree,” Hotch mutters. “It is getting a little warm.”

You glance up at the AC in the corner of the elevator, which is clearly not working. It probably shut down along with the power. There’s a brief silence before Reid speaks up again. 

“I never thought I’d be trapped in an elevator with my colleagues,” he muses. “It’s a little cliché.”

“Cliche, how?” Hotch asks, intrigued despite himself. 

“You know how, in movies, a group of people get stuck in an elevator and they have to learn to overcome their differences to escape?” 

You shake your head in confusion, “I think I only know the dirty movies where they get stuck in an elevator,” you laugh. 

Spencer blinks at you, clearly thrown off. Derek chuckles at the scene, and even Hotch manages a faint smile. 

“I should’ve known you’ve only watched the dirty ones,” Derek teases. 

“What about you, pretty boy?  Ever seen a dirty movie?” He asks Spencer, grinning. 

Reid looks flustered. “I grew up in Vegas… I’ve seen some things.” 

“Ah, Vegas,” you say, sighing dreamily. “The place where you can’t drive for a minute without seeing a giant porn billboard.”

Morgan grins, leaning back with a satisfied sigh. “Sounds like my kind of place.” 

You laugh and kick his leg playfully. Morgan winks at you, enjoying the lighthearted banter. You glance up at Hotch, who is still the only one standing. 

“What about you, Hotch? What’s your favorite dirty movie?” You ask with a mischievous grin, but your expression quickly drops when you see his stern look. 

“Watch it, Y/L/N.” Hotch warns.

“Come on, Hotch,” Derek says. “Let loose a little!”

“See it as the universe’s sign.” I press on. 

“How is being stuck in here a sign of the universe?” Hotch asks, brows raised.

“Well, no way would you willingly take a break yourself. Now the universe got you stuck in here and is forcing you to relax,” you explain, with a playful gleam in your eyes. 

To everyone’s surprise, he slowly lowers himself to the floor, sitting down next to you. 

You exchange surprised looks with Derek and Spencer. All amazed at how you managed to get Hotch to sit down.

The next few minutes are spent in comfortable silence, scared to say something that will make Hotch change his mind. You’re glad he joined you, but it’s hard to ignore the rising temperature now that another person is sitting in close proximity to you. 

“How long has it been?” you ask, fanning yourself with your blazer. “I’m starting to sweat.”

“Thirty-five minutes so far,” Derek replies, following your lead and fanning himself. 

Hotch looks mildly uncomfortable, beads of sweat forming on his forehead. Spencer, however, looks the most miserable using the collar of his sweater vest to wipe his face. 

“You guys should take your jackets off,” you suggest, eyeing Morgan and Hotch. 

You don’t need to tell Derek twice, as he removes his jacket, revealing a black short sleeved shirt that looks a lot more comfortable. Hotch looks reluctant to do the same, but eventually gives in, loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt collar. You take a peak as he reveals his broad, muscled shoulders for a moment, before readjusting his shirt. Hotch notices your glance and his eyes shoot up to yours, catching you in the moment as your cheeks flush. You quickly look away. 

“Oh, she’s enjoying the view, alright,” Derek smirks and you give him a warning glance.

“Shut up. I was just surprised Hotch would give in.” 

Morgan grins and nudges Hotch with his elbow, “Look at that, Hotch. You’re surprising us all today. First you smile and now you’re taking your jacket off. What’s next, dancing a jig?” You and Spencer snort at his comment. Hotch rolls his eyes at Morgan’s teasing but can’t help a small smile from appearing on his lips. 

Spencer struggles with his vest and you give him a hand. “Here, let me help you”, you say as you scoot closer, pulling the vest over his head. The fabric feels soft, but incredibly warm in your hands. You don’t know how he managed to keep it on for this long. Reid is taken aback for a moment, but mutters a soft thanks. Morgan and Hotch watch the exchange with interest, clearly amused at the sight of you being so forward with Reid.

“Now it’s your turn, you’re the one who insisted,” Morgan states, and you can’t help but agree as you take your blazer off, giving a satisfied hum at the immediate relief.

“I’ll open up some buttons too, if you don’t mind,” you announce as your fingers start working on your blouse. You don’t give them a chance to respond, since it seems only fair. Their eyes widen at your gesture, all of them staring at the sight of your blouse slightly opening up. Morgan lets out a low whistle, “Now that’s a nice view.”

“You’re insufferable,” you scoff as you stop unbuttoning, showing just a hint of your lacy bra. Morgan’s eyes linger on the sight, clearly enjoying the view. Hotch and Reid look like they’re struggling to keep their cool. Reid is the most flustered of all, turning bright red as he focuses on his hands. Morgan glances around at the others, seeing them struggle to keep themselves composed. 

He chuckles and shakes his head, enjoying the effect you’re having on them. “You know, you’re driving all of us a little crazy here, sweetheart.” 

You let out a small huff, “Give me a break. You’re wearing shortsleeves, I’m the one wearing a blouse.” 

Hotch speaks up, his gaze lingering on your blouse. “That blouse does seem a bit warm.” 

“Thank you!” You say, glad someone is on your side. 

Hotch eyes stay focused on you though, or specifically the bit of exposed collarbone and the lace that’s hugged around the swell of your breast. Your breathing heaves when you find Spencer taking occasional peaks as well, watching with a mixture of awe and embarrassment, finding difficulty in looking away. 

“Let’s just all take our shirts off, I want it to be fair”, you quickly exclaim, done with the heavy tension that’s driving you crazy. Hotch and Morgan exchange amused glances as Spencer eyes turn big, taking in your proposal. 

“All our shirts, are you sure about that?” Derek asks, a hint of surprise in his voice. 

“Then at least you won’t eye me like that.” 

“Oh, I think I’ll eye you only more.” Derek teases, licking his lips. 

“Just take your damn shirt off.” 

Derek chuckles and raises his hands in surrender, “Alright, alright. No need to get feisty.” He says as he lifts his shirt off in a smooth motion. It’s a known fact that Derek is jacked, but seeing him in a setting like this, abs glistening with sweat and pupils still dilated from looking at you, is on a whole ‘nother level. 

You’re glad the attention is taken away from your peering eyes as Hotch follows suit, unbuttoning his shirt, revealing a clearly defined muscular chest with just a hint of hair. You start doubting your suggestion as it feels like the room is only growing hotter. You look over at Spencer, seeing whether he’ll be the next. Spencer hesitates for a moment, his eyes darting between the other’s bare chests and your unbuttoned blouse. His chest heaving with his breath, suggesting that he’s more affected than he’s letting on. 

“Come on, pretty boy. Join the party.” Derek says.

“I’ll go first,” you assure Spencer, not wanting him to suffer under peer pressure. Your hands start working on the buttons. Spencer’s eyes widened at the scene in front of him.

“See, it’s not that hard,” you reassure Spencer, folding your blouse and placing it next to you. 

“I don’t know about that. You’re making things pretty hard, baby girl.” Morgan comments, making you laugh. 

“You’re way too dirty for your own good.” 

Morgan grins. “Can you blame me? I mean, look at you. You’re looking mighty tempting right now.”

You softly smile at the compliment and focus back on Spencer. “You’ll feel a lot cooler, I promise,” you encourage. 

“I don’t know. I’m not as… toned as the others.” It hurts you to hear how he’s comparing himself to his colleagues. 

“Do you truly think I care about that?” You ask him. “It’s not a competition. I just want you to feel comfortable,” you speak genuinely. Spencer looks up at you, his eyes searching yours for any signs of mockery or deception. When he finds none, his face softens and he nods. He lifts his shirt over his head, revealing a body no less impressive than the others. 

“Not too bad, pretty boy. You’re looking pretty good without that vest on.” Derek compliments. 

“You do,” You agree, as you fold his shirt and place it on top of my blouse. Spencer gives you a sheepish smile, grateful for your help. Glad he decided to take his shirt off as he felt the cool air hit his chest, “Yeah, that does feel better.” 

You look around the room, the scene for sure one to be put down in the history books of the BAU. “I think it’s safe to say we’ve entered a new step in our colleague bonding,” you awkwardly chuckle, trying to lighten the mood but the air feels charged with an unspoken tension that’s impossible to ignore. You can feel their eyes on you, the way they linger, the weight of their gazes following your every movement. You try to ignore it, to stay professional, but your body betrays you. You shift slightly, adjusting your skirt, and that’s when you feel it - the subtle brush of Hotch’s fingers caressing your arm.

You swallow hard as you look away. The air around you is suddenly too tight. You want to curse your body as your nipples harden under his steady gaze, there being no way to blame it on the cold. Derek notices the exchange and leans in, the heat between you two palpable. 

His voice is low and husky, “You're all worked up, sweetheart. Don’t think we haven’t noticed.” 

Your pulse quickens, the sound of your heartbeat almost drowning out his words. “I’m not the only one,” you counter, voice quieter, but the challenge in it is unmistakable. You feel Spencer shift next to you, his body tense as he feels like he’s been caught staring at your chest. “Don’t be shy, genius,” Derek teases. “We’re all thinking the same thing right now.” You can’t help but smile at Spencer’s flustered look. “It’s… It’s hard not to, when you-” He cuts himself off, his voice faltering as his eyes dart away from your breasts. 

Hotch is still standing by the door, his eyes narrowing slightly as he watches the dynamic play out. “We’ve been stuck in here long enough. I think it’s safe to say we all want and feel the same thing.” The air thickens with desire as he dares to say the thought that’s been occupying everyone’s mind. You glance at the others, seeing how Spencer is adjusting himself in his pants and the way Derek is watching you, his gaze so intense it almost feels like he’s touching you. 

“Guess it’s only fair if we all just… give in to it,” you murmur, your eyes flicking between them. The suggestion is there, unspoken but understood. 

From there on everything feels like a blur. You hear Hotch growl behind you as he wraps his bicep around your neck, pulling you in as his lips crash against yours. You whimper against his mouth, which gives him the opportunity to let his tongue slide in. You welcome his tongue with yours as your hand moves to squeeze the arm around your neck, making full use of the circumstances to feel up on his muscles. 

“You’re always driving me crazy when wearing this skirt,” Hotch groans in your ear as his teeth pull on your earlobe. You can find no other way to respond than let out a high pitched sound of enjoyment as his free hand kneads your ass through your pencil skirt. Spencer watches the scene unfold in front of him. How his boss roughly grabs and kisses you, manhandling you. 

 “I- I don’t know about this…” Spencer stammers. 

Morgan turns to him, breaking the intense gaze he had on you and Hotch. “Don’t worry Reid, she’s enjoying it.” 

“Are you sure?” Spencer asks, uncertainty in his voice as Hotch is pulling on your hair, giving him access to plant kisses and bites on your neck. 

Morgan grins, “Let me show you how sure I am,” he says as he steps towards you and Hotch. He rolls your skirt up to your stomach and lets his fingers slide over your panties, cursing when it easily slips between your folds, creating a wet sound. You moan at the friction, not in the state to feel embarrassed by how wet you are. 

“See Reid, she loves it,” Derek points out, licking his lips as he pulls your damp panties to the side. Spencer lets out a groan as Derek reveals your glistening pussy, his hand subconsciously squeezing the bulge in his pants for any form of release.

“Let me see,” Hotch insists, removing his lips from your neck. Derek slides a finger through your folds and proudly displays the stickiness to Hotch. 

“You’re such a little slut, aren’t you?,” Hotch whispers, his nose pressed against the side of your face. “Just been begging to get in a situation like this so we could all fuck you the way you deserve.” You whimper at his dirty words and hot breath on your skin. Your legs feel like jelly as he grinds himself against your ass. Derek continues to apply pressure with his hand as he lets his fingers rub up and down your lips and clit. 

Spencer’s eyes are burning holes in your chest. He just can’t understand how no one has touched your lovely tits, while they’ve been teasing him the entire time. 

“You can come here Spence,” you purr, hypnotizing him to walk towards you. He swallows as he’s close enough to touch you, close enough to hear all the little sounds you’re making as you’re being touched all over. 

“Can I-?” You don’t let Spencer finish his question as you quickly nod, throwing your head back as his finger grazes over your nipple, sending a direct spark of pleasure to your clit. 

“You’re beautiful,” he whispers mostly to himself in awe as he cups your breast, the shape fitting perfectly in his large hand. 

“Thank you,” you whisper back. It’s ironic how his sweet compliment is the thing that's making you shy.

Derek slips a finger inside of you with ease, and you bite your lip to hold back your mewls. “Don’t do that. I like the way you sound.” Spencer encourages, resulting in another moan from you, loving the effect his words have on you. 

Hotch unclasps your bra from behind and Spencer helps him by pulling your straps down, letting your breasts fall free. Hotch grabs your left breast, kneading it with his strong, calloused hands as he rolls your nipple in between his fingers. Spencer uses the momentary distraction to bend down and experimentally licks your nipple, humming at the sensation. He gives a couple more licks to your breast as he pulls your nipple in between his lips, sucking on it as he flicks his tongue against the sensitive bud. 

You feel overwhelmed by the way all of your erogenous zones are stimulated at once; Hotch licking and biting on your neck and ear, while massaging your breast and grinding his hardness against your ass. Spencer’s swollen lips and wet tongue tracing over your nipple as Derek caresses your thighs as he adds a second finger into your pussy. You realize that this is what pleasure is supposed to be like. The zones on your body are all connected and you haven’t experienced true bliss until those spots get triggered at the same time. 

“Morgan, is she ready?” Hotch asks, breathing heavily. 

“More than ready, sir,” Derek grins as he takes a step back. He lets his fingers slide out of you, making you whimper at the loss of contact, but then Hotch turns you around so that your chest is pressed up against the elevator doors where he was standing. 

“I need you for myself,” he groans. Derek tosses a condom from his jeans and Hotch catches it, ripping the package with his teeth while pulling his trousers down to his knees, not wanting to let a single moment go to waste. Your hands are pressed against the wall as he slowly enters you. 

“Oh my god… I feel so full,” you whine and you swear you could feel him grin as you register that he’s not even fully inside of you. You let out a long breath as you feel his balls make contact with your ass. 

“You’re doing okay there, princess?” Derek chuckles and you nod. Hotch slowly moves his length out of you as he slams his hips back in with a groan. You gasp as you wrap your hand around the back of his head, keeping yourself steady as he continues thrusting into you. His growls feel hot against your neck. His sweaty chest pressed up against your back, leaving you completely in his grasp.

“You feel that angel? How your pussy swallows my cock?” You let out a cry as you nod your head in agreement. 

“I don’t understand Y/N. You’re a big girl, use your words.” 

“Oh god…’’ Your head spins as he pounds into you. “I’m not going to tell you again Y/N, use your words.” He orders. 

“Yes!’’ you cry out. ‘’God yes Aaron, it feels so good. I can feel you so deep inside of me.” 

“Say my name again.” He moans as his hand trails down your stomach until it reaches your swollen bud. “Aaron, please… I’m so, so close.” He gives some quick taps to your clit, making you squirm in pleasure as your knees give out. His strong hands grip you by the waist and he hoists you back up on his dick. “I’m almost there honey, you can keep it up, be good for me.” 

You let out a string of whines as he uses the palm of his hand to swiftly move against your folds, indirectly bringing pleasure to your clit. You can’t take it any more, pressing your nails into his arms as you crouch down in front of him, shaking as your release hits you. Hotch groans loudly as his dick slips out of your pussy. His dick twitches as he takes off the condom, painting your back with hot spurts of cum.

You have your eyes closed, trying to catch your breath as you’re still riding down your orgasm. You hum as you feel the soft material of Spencer’s sweater vest against your back, cleaning you up. 

“You okay?” Spencer asks, kneeled in front of you. You nod your head and softly smile at his tenderness. 

“Yeah. I feel really, really good.” You answer, making Spencer return your smile. With him in front of you, you notice the visible outline of his bulge pressed against his thigh and reach out to touch it. Your fingers lightly brush over his length, causing him to shudder. 

“Do you want me to take care of you?” You ask sensually, looking in his eyes. 

“Not really,” he responds, taking you by surprise. He sees your expression and quickly corrects himself. “It’s not like I don’t want you to! I’d- I’d love you to do…”, he’s not actually sure what you planned on doing to him. “Whatever you would do. I just-,” his voice softens, meeting your gaze. “I really need to know what you taste like.” 

Your cheeks warm, feeling your arousal grow. “Okay,” you exhale. Spencer extends his hand, helping you up. You find your blazer and bundle it up for Spencer to lay his head on. You’re amazed at how willing he is to get down on the floor, ready to eat you out in a very nontraditional and arguable unsanitized way. You hover over his face as you get down on your knees, letting out a hum as his breath tingles your pussy. Spencer kneads your calves and runs his hands up the back of your thighs. He tilts his head up, placing a wet kiss on your inner thigh.

“Feels good,” you mumble. Spencer responds with a hum against your skin, the vibration causing you to moan. He grabs your thighs, slowly pulling them further apart. “I can’t wait to taste you,” he admits, sticking out his tongue and licking a stripe up your folds. You moan, arching your back. Through hooded eyes you spot the figure of Hotch. He’s sitting against the wall in front of you, lazily stroking his half hard length as he stares at you. 

Just when you were about to question where Morgan was, you catch him in your periphery. He holds your gaze as he approaches, coming to a stop right in front of you. His belt buckle hangs open, but it doesn’t look like he’s touched himself. 

“If you don’t mind, I’d really like to take up on that offer genius here denied.” You grin at him, hands reaching out to his belt. Spencer is keeping himself busy, licking and sucking up your juices. You pull Derek’s pants down, gasping as his dick springs free, slapping against his happy trail. You groan in delight as you wrap your hand around his shaft. He tilts his head back at the contact. “Fuck baby, your hands feel so warm and soft.” You lean forward and let some of your spit dribble down on his dick, making him hiss. You move your thumb in circles over his tip, mixing your saliva with his precum. When it feels like it’s wet enough, you move your hand up and down his length in a steady motion.

His tip grows red and you cannot resist licking your lips before putting your mouth on him. He feels heavy in your mouth as you take him in deeper, stimulating him with your tongue as you suck. His hands tangle in your hair, holding you as he moves in sync with your movements. 

Spencer moves a hand up the curve of your ass while he uses the other to unbuckle his belt. He slides his hand in his pants, rubbing himself over his boxers as he relishes in your taste. His lips nibble on your labia as his nose tickles against your clit. 

“Don’t get distracted, baby girl,” Derek states, softly pushing your head back down. You swallow around him and try to up your pace. Derek takes your breast in his hand, massaging it. As your nipples harden he takes one in between his fingers, pulling on it. You gasp at the sensation, making his dick slide deeper down your throat. 

“Fuck! Right there baby, that feels so good,” he pants. You blink away tears, continuing the steady movement of your head and swirls of your tongue. 

Spencer’s dick starts feeling too hot in his boxers and he pulls it out, so that it lays against his stomach. Your pussy is absolutely dripping because of the swipes of Spencer’s tongue and the taste of Derek in your mouth. Spencer can’t keep up with licking you clean, your wetness dripping down his chin. He reaches out to grab his length, the skin to skin contact overstimulating him. 

You notice Spencer getting restless underneath you. Derek’s dick pops out of your mouth. “Are you okay, Spence?” You ask. He hums against your clit in response, you let out a high pitched moan and instinctively bend your knees. “Sorry,” you apologize as you want to tilt your hips back up, but Spencer pulls you back down by your thighs, making you sit on his face.

“Oh god…” You moan as he starts devouring you. He keeps a hand firm on your ass as he starts jerking himself off to the beautiful sounds that you’re making. You lazily tug on Derek’s cock, too distracted by Spencer’s tongue. 

“Oh Spencer, I’m going to cum,” you whimper, mouth open and brows furrowed in pleasure. You start grinding yourself on his tongue, seeking your release. You find the perfect spot and Spencer presses the tip of his tongue against your clit, as you fall undone. Spencer laps up your juices and squeezes the load out of his dick as it splatters on his belly. You lift your hips to give Spencer some space. He moves away, joining you on his knees as he sits behind you, pressing featherlight kisses to your back. 

“I’m not gonna last that much longer,” Derek announces, who’s been stroking himself to your orgasm. “Come here, then,” you invite as you take him back in your mouth. Placing a hand on his thigh for support, you use all of the energy that is left in you to suck him off. Your free hand reaches out to play with his balls, which seems to be the trigger for him.

“Fuck, Y/N, baby, I’m going to cum!” He groans deeply as he fills your mouth. You quickly swallow his load, eyes watering as he pulls you in by your head, needing your lips on him as he rides out the aftershocks. 

“Fuck… You’re amazing, sweetheart.” He sighs, letting go of your hair so that you can catch your breath. 

-

“Who the hell is in there?” 

The voice outside is sharp and gruff. Everyone’s heads whip around, startled. Hotch swiftly buckles his belt as he strides towards the elevator doors.

“This is SSA Aaron Hotchner of the BAU. I’m stuck here with three of my agents.” 

The voice responds quickly, dripping with disbelief. "Why didn’t you morons use the emergency button?"

Your colleagues look at each other, then shift their gaze to you, all with accusing looks plastered on their faces.

"Hey, don’t look at me! I’m the first one that pressed the red button!" You say in defense. 

The voice outside huffs in frustration. "Red? It's a black button."

You blink in surprise, your gaze snapping to the panel. You crawl up to get a better look, and sure enough, there's a black button, boldly labeled ‘EMERGENCY.’

"What in the world?" you mutter under your breath. "Then what the hell is the red button for?!"

The voice outside laughs sarcastically. "How the hell am I supposed to know? I’ve been working here for six months. Don’t blame me because you can’t read." He pauses, clearly shaking his head. "FBI agents, my ass."

You blink in disbelief. You share an incredulous glance with Derek, then burst out laughing, your frustration giving way to amusement. "Seriously?" you mutter, shaking your head. 

Derek notices how Spencer’s been unusually quiet. “Speak up, kid,” he urged. 

“I’ve known what the buttons do the entire time,” he says, voice casual.

You and Hotch both turn to look at him, eyes wide. “What?!” You both exclaim at the same time. 

Spencer shrugs, a playful glint in his eyes. “I told you about those movies where people overcome their differences to try to escape. I wanted to see how we would solve it.”

Derek’s mouth drops open. “You’ve been sitting here the whole time knowing exactly what to do and didn’t say anything?!” 

Spencer smiles, looking almost proud of himself. “It’s a team-building exercise,” he says matter-of-factly. “Don’t tell me that you didn’t enjoy it.”

You shake your head, laughing in disbelief. “You’re unbelievable, Reid.”

As if on cue, the elevator jolts, and the soft ding of the doors opening fills the space.

[pomefioredove]

hi!! could you pls do headcanons for the housewardens (+jamil) with a reader that stims? like if they get nervous or excited they do flappy hands! Gn reader, and the characters are crushing on reader but they’re not dating yet please! Thank you :>

:) of course! I stim so I get it LOL

summary: reader who stims! type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, leona, azul, jamil, kalim, vil, idia, malleus additional info: romantic or platonic for most, reader is gender neutral, reader is not specified to be yuu

Riddle already has a high "nonsense tolerance" when it comes to you

if you were anyone else, he would get overstimulated so fast

but, it's you

and he likes you

and he puts a lot more effort into making you comfortable around him than he would ever admit

so, by all means! fidget, stim, hum, he likes all of you

and if anyone else has a problem with it, they can go through him, first

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

if you can live with a little teasing, Leona can live with your stims

kidding

...kind of

he would never admit it to himself, but the way you get excited is kinda endearing to him

(major cuteness aggression)

so he just can't help teasing you a tiny bit for it

lovingly, of course

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Azul has an eye for detail and a love of figuring people out

and admiring observing you is one of his favorite pastimes!

he might need the information later

for... reasons.

he finds your mannerisms... interesting. your nervous ticks are so different from the other student's

then Floyd suggests you're obviously stimming; it just looks different "'cause you're on land and stuff,"

it makes sense (though he doesn't have to be so smug about it)

mystery solved

but Azul keeps staring at you, anyway. for... reasons.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

unsurprisingly, Kalim loves it

if he doesn't stim already, he might just start

it's a good way to let off some energy when he's overexcited, or calm him when he's nervous

(which happens more often than you'd think)

he would be baffled by the idea that people find it annoying

or weird, or childish

if he felt like someone was staring, or about to say something to you, he'd start stimming with you

power in numbers, right?

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

surprisingly (or unsurprisingly?) Jamil doesn't really... care

at this point, he's dealt with everything

a nuclear bomb could go off and he probably wouldn't even react

that's a slow tuesday for him

it's only during the metaphorical nuclear fallout

(when he has that migraine he always gets)

that he'll ask you for quiet and space

and that's the very most he'll say about it

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Vil isn't ignorant

he's not going to punish you for something that you find helpful

...and Rook has his little quirks, too

besides, there's nothing you could do that he wouldn't find endearing

what he will do, however, is help you manage

to your comfort, of course

there's a drawer full of stim toys in the Pomefiore lounge probably

and if not, Rook probably has a doohickey or two that can keep your hands occupied during quiet/important/etc occasions

otherwise, you're free to do whatever

I'm gonna be so real tbh I see Pomefiore as a very disability-friendly dorm and I'll die on that hill

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Idia! the freak himself

(affectionate)

nah, he doesn't care

he probably has a ton of his own stims he's already super embarrassed about

so he's definitely not going to say anything to you

if anything, it makes him feel better about himself

it's cute when you do it

he starts 3D printing you toys he think you'll like, most that he designed himself

so, he does care, but... in a good way!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

LMAO okay. wait

between Lilia, Silver, and Sebek, there's no way Malleus would see stimming as anything but normal

Lilia probably starts crawling on the walls like a spider when he's excited

so hand-flapping is like aw... cute! :) to Malleus

he would, will, and has stared down anyone who makes a face or a nasty comment about it

so you can be sure that no one will ever say anything mean to you about it!

like, ever again

[bookished]

( a collection of jock x nerd dialogue prompts. adjust phrasing as necessary.) feel free to make edits to better suit your muse, but please don’t edit or add on to the original post <3 if you like, please consider supporting me through tips

"You think you're so smart, huh?" "Well, statistically speaking, my GPA says I am."

"Okay, so you're good at math. But can you explain why my heart races whenever you walk into the room?" "Biologically, I suppose adrenaline might— Wait, are you flirting?"

"This is ridiculous. You shouldn’t be lifting me like that!" "Hey, you’re light as a feather! Besides, I just wanted to show you what strength feels like."

"You know, you’d make a great quarterback with how fast you solve problems." "And you’d make a great nerd if you applied that logic to your studies."

"Let me guess, you failed another test?" "Nah, just looking for an excuse to talk to the smartest person in the room."

"You might be a brainiac, but I could definitely teach you a thing or two about confidence." "Confidence? Or arrogance?"

"I don’t understand why you keep sitting next to me in class. You don't even take notes!" "Maybe I’m here for the view… or maybe I trust your brain to get us both through."

"For someone who’s supposed to be so smart, you’re missing something really obvious." "And what’s that?" leans closer "How bad I want to kiss you right now."

"You’re like a puzzle I can’t solve." "That’s because you’re not thinking hard enough." "Maybe I’m just distracted by how cute the puzzle is."

"You’re too focused. Ever thought about focusing on something… or someone… else?" "And who would that be?" smirks "Maybe you should figure that out."

"Bet I can make you blush before you can solve that equation." "Highly unlikely—" blushes "Told you."

"You're not my type." "And yet, here I am, making you smile like I am."

"You look like you could use a break. How about we grab some coffee? My treat." "You sure you’re not just trying to steal my notes?" "Nah, just trying to steal your attention for a little while."

"If you keep looking this cute when you're annoyed, I might just have to irritate you more often." "You’re infuriating." "But I’m charming, too, right?"

"Do you ever take anything seriously?" "I’m serious about getting you to go out with me. That counts, right?"

"You’ve got those smarts, but I’ve got… other talents." "Like what, being a distraction?" "If that's what it takes to get your attention."

"Why are you always bothering me during study time?" "Because watching you concentrate is kinda… hot."

"You know, you’ve got a lot of facts in that head of yours. Think any of them could explain why I keep thinking about you?" "That’s probably an overproduction of dopamine and— wait, are you hitting on me?"

"You're in my space." "Maybe your space is where I want to be."

"I think I just figured out the formula for attraction." "Attraction isn't a formula." "It is when you're involved."

"You know, if I ever wanted to impress you, I’d have to learn some big words, huh?" "It’s not the words you use that impress me… it’s what you do with them."

[psychhound]

spiritkeep conflict resolution system

howdy howdy!! bit of a delay but back at it again at krispy kreme

for todays spiritkeep post we're talking about rolling mechanics!!

for those who are new … spiritkeep is a multiplayer campaign game designed to help players heal from complex trauma!!

okay … so this was the last item on the docket to talk about for spiritkeep, which is very exciting!! :) we're going to explore rolling & stats as well as a little of the philosophy behind the design

the basic thing to know for rolling is that for each roll you make, you roll 2 dice and add 2 modifiers

which dice you roll are up to you!! for almost every action, you'll have between d4s and d12s to choose from, and you're allowed to double up. so you might roll 2d6, 2d8, 1d4+1d8, 1d10+1d12, and so on

there are a few catches though :) generally, rolling higher = a more successful action. so rolling bigger dice give you a higher chance of success. But! you only start each arc with 1d10 and 1d12, and you have a limited number of "slots" that you can hold more in. when you choose to roll a d4, you get a d12 to use later. if you choose a d6, you get a d10. you can hold up to five d10s and d12s, known as Effort Dice, at a time. the dice you roll are less tied to how good your character is at an action, rather representing how much Effort your character is putting into that action

but … are Effort Dice always better? not necessarily!! if you're continuously putting the maximum amount of effort possible into everything you do, that's not sustainable!! for that reason, you're given a range of 5 numbers as your Target Goal which is the sweet spot that you want to hit while rolling. for example, a 10-15 is an action that will take a pretty standard amount of effort, a 15-20 is going to be a little trickier to pull off …

if you choose to roll an Effort Die and also roll above your Target Goal … you do exceptionally well And take a point of Burnout. multiple points of Burnout leads to conditions, and multiple conditions leads to a breakdown (both of which have narrative & mechanical effects)

you add your stat modifiers to your dice in order to get your total. rather than stats representing concrete skills, they represent different approaches to problem solving your character is more practiced in. there are three categories of stats - mind, body, and spirit - representing how your character thinks, how theyre embodied in the world, and what they value. theres no such thing as a negative stat, rather stats are paired and lean positive to one side or the other (at least to start). the gm will ask for a combination of two stats to be rolled for each challenge, sometimes from the same category and sometimes different

i wanted to design the conflict resolution system this way for a few reasons

one, i wanted a similar range of numbers to try and hit to d&d, as i know a lot of my audience will already be familiar with that, but i hate how swingy the d20 is. using two dice make it far less swingy, while also increasing opportunities for strategy and system mastery. it adds in a bit of resource management and generally adds a lot of crunch to the system for very little mechanical complexity

two, i wanted to show that outcomes can be both intentional and based in luck. you can put a lot of effort into something in order to do better. sometimes youll still get unlucky and it wont work out. most of the time you'll still be more successful than if you hadn't tried as hard

third, i wanted to emphasize that putting 100% of your effort into everything just isnt sustainable. you have to pace yourself if you want to be successful, some things aren't worth putting as much effort as possible into, and sometimes you have to fail first to learn from it and succeed later

there's a bit more complexity to this system but … that'll have to wait for the full game to come out :)

as always, if you want to support this project, i have sales going here and here!! keep a look out for a masterpost in the next few weeks here!!

[just-j916]

The Guilt of a Gunshot

This is inspired by this post from @ideasarestuckinmyhead! : read here!

This is also my first fanfic that has been sitting in my drafts for about a month now—so enjoy!

Word count: 1467

The silence after the shot was eerie; so eerie that it almost hurt. Sugarboo slowly lowering their arm that held the gun as the adrenaline had started to wear off.

They felt like they could scream, cry, do something, anything to prove that they felt something after shooting Derek. But… no. They couldn’t. Not after what they did. They knew what they were getting themselves into. They… asked for this. They did this for their boys. Even though they might not forgive them for what they had done.

Before they walked to the door, Sugarboo looked at Derek’s lifeless body, emotionless. No remorse. No mercy. Just blank.

Upon opening the door, to their confusion, there seemed to be nobody in the bar anymore. 


‘Did everyone leave?’ They thought. They figured the gunshot was loud but they didn’t anticipate that everyone would scramble. They then thought back to what Alphonse said. The gun would be enough to scare rats shitless.

They looked around and noticed two bodies on the ground of the bar. One of them being the “guard” that they’d seen when they first walked in with Derek and the other was… familiar. The confusion turned into fear as they realized that the other body was Seth’s.

“Holy shit! Seth! Oh god, you—you’re bleeding!”

They carefully and somehow successfully managed to pick up Seth’s body, considering he was taller and bigger than they were. They carefully placed his head on their shoulder as they tried to gently shake Seth awake. They knew that this was their fault that he was like this. He must’ve come looking for them. And that thought alone was enough to make Sugarboo’s heart drop.

“Seth… please wake up. I’m so sorry. I didn’t—I didn’t mean for this to happen to you I just—!”

“Sugar…”

That sentence alone was enough to cause them to pause. They looked down at Seth’s face and noticed that he was conscious.

“Seth! Thank goodness you’re alright! I’m so sorry about everything I just—!”

“Shh… Sugar… it’s alright. I’m alright. I’m just… so tired.”

“Seth, please stay awake… just until I can find Alphonse so he can drive you to a hospital. Where is he? If you’re here then shouldn’t he be close by?”

“No, he’s at the train yard. We… split up to look for you.”

They figured that their boys would look for them. But it didn’t hurt any less hearing it aloud.

“I guess I’ll have to get there by foot. I can’t risk your injury getting worse but I can’t just leave you here—fuck! What do I do?”

Just as they finished their statement as they dredged out the bar with Seth in their arms, they noticed a similar van pull up.

“Is that… Charlie’s van?”

Sugarboo looked at Seth confused until the passenger window rolled down revealing Jessie.

“Ma, how did you get that hunk-a-junk to start?”

The question asked was quickly interrupted by Jessie.

“There’s no time for questions, hun. Just get in the van so we can get you boys to a hospital. I already picked up Alphonse from the train yard and he’s… well… roughed up.”

This caused Sugarboo to freeze up. Both of their boys had gotten hurt because of them? They devised this plan to try to help them but instead they… made everything… worse.

Jessie seemed to notice the expression on Sugarboo’s face and she was quick to cut them from their thoughts.

“Sugar, Alphonse is going to be okay. I promise. We just need to get both of them checked out to make sure nothing else serious is wrong.”

This was three hours ago. Three long, excruciating hours. They sat in the waiting room, embarrassed, ashamed, and just… empty. They had solved their problem but at what cost? The boys getting hurt? Them being tainted? It hurt. It hurt so fucking much. But they didn’t have any right to feel like that. They had to be the strong one. The one who kept everything together. The one who fixed everything.

They had managed to help Alphonse and Seth to make amends. They had managed to create countless goodies for people across their nowhere town. They had managed to keep everything together even when they felt like a third-wheel when the three were in the same house. Their house. Why did being strong hurt so bad?

They were pulled out of their thoughts when they heard footsteps walking towards them. They looked up to find Jessie, who gave them a slightly solemn look.

“You alright, Sugar?”

They could barely move. Whether it was from shock or just pure exhaustion, nodding their head seemed like an almost impossible task. Keyword: almost.

“I… I’m fine.”

Jessie sighed before taking a seat right next to them before putting a hand on their shoulder.

“Sugar if you need to cry, then cry. I promise I’m not going to judge you for doing so.”

With that sentence, everything about their facade seemed to fall as quickly as the tears fell down. They quietly sobbed as Jessie wrapped her arms around them.

“They’re going to be so… pissed at me.”

“No, Sugar, I promise you those boys aren’t going to be angry at you. They love you so much. They are in that room right now, waiting for you. Hell, when I went in there the first thing that Alphonse asked me was if you were alright. They are going to be thrilled to see you.”

Were they though? Would they accept the fact that they shot Derek? Would they still accept them if they had blood on their hands now?

After a few minutes, they seemed to have settled down, so Jessie escorted them to the room the boys were staying in. They looked at the door, scared. They took a deep breath before knocking on the door. They heard a familiar voice, which seemed to be Alphonse’s, telling them to come in.

Once they opened up the door, they slowly slipped into the room, their eyes quickly darting to the ground. Too afraid to look either of them in the eyes.

“Boo! Hey! There you are!”

“Hey, Sugar…”

Both of the boys quickly could tell something was up as they both glanced at each other from their separate beds before turning back to Sugarboo.

“Boo, are you alright? You aren’t hurt are you? Come here.”

Sugarboo walked over towards Alphonse’s hospital bed before taking a seat in front of Alphonse. He scanned them for injuries and didn’t see anything visible. While the injuries weren’t visible to him, he could tell that they had been crying, so they were obviously upset. He cupped their cheek with his hand and slowly turned their head to look at him.

“Boo, I can tell you’ve been crying. What’s the matter? Derek didn’t hurt you, did he?”Alphonse managed to breathe out.

They shook their head before they started to weep. The tears fell down their face once again. What happened to keeping it together in front of them? They don’t know.

Alphonse quickly wrapped them in a tight hug with one of his hands on the back of their head, slowly brushing his hand through their hair, trying to comfort them.

“I’m so sorry… the both of you got hurt because of me. I wanted to help and I just—!”

“Boo… shhh… it’s okay…”

“No it’s not! I fucked up and you both should be upset with me right now…”

“Hey… Boo, look at me…”

Reluctantly, they turned their head upwards towards Alphonse.

“You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. While what you did scared me a bit, I’m not mad at you…”

“Well, you should be…”

“Boo, what you did took guts. I wouldn’t ever be mad at you for doing what you did. Although, I would appreciate a heads up next time…” Alphonse admitted, smiling softly at Sugarboo.

Seth watched the two fondly as he sat up in his hospital bed. Seth laughed before following up with, “Yeah, I would prefer if there wasn’t a next time. Ever.”

Sugarboo turned away from Seth, chuckling at his words before looking back at Alphonse. They looked at the bruises and marks on him as the guilt began to wash over them once more.

“Boo, hey… I’m alright. It’s nothing that I haven’t dealt with before,” Alphonse admitted with a slight smile on his face.

Tears welled up in Sugarboo’s eyes as they tried so hard to hold it together. Seeing him like that hurt. They knew that this was their doing.

Almost immediately and instantaneously, both boys are by their side, comforting them. Even if they didn’t know if they deserved such kindness after what they did, they chose to bask in the warmth provided by their boys. Just for a little while longer.

[the-boring-distopia]

Okay, something is going on in the Ninth house

And I don't mean the canonical weird stuff that we know about. If the different houses are different planets (plus the sixth and their space station) it means that the inhibitants of Dominicus are under preasures that are detrimental to human life. There is no way that some casual humans can take their daily walk on an other planet and then go to Canaan house.

I don't know what house is which planet exactly but I'm just gonna list the different adaptations one would need to live on the Ninth and how it would be possible to solve the issues that come with them.

(this is a theory post, unhinged speculation ahead)

The Ninth house is probably Pluto, at least that's how I imagine it. They could have created an atmosphere (and an ozone layer?), but Pluto is incredibly dark and cold even with that. We know that they have oxygen generators - whatever that is - but I suspect that oxygen levels on the Ninth are closer to what one might experience on the top of mount everest than what we are breathing. This means that people from the ninth are living in a low oxyigen, low light, cold enviroment where most of us humans from earth would probably perish because of aspiration, frostbite and probably by being weakened by the constant cold. There is another problem, if they don't have an ozone layer - I don't think they do tbh - there will be a SHIT TON of uv radiation. FUV (far ultraviolet range) especially, which is not good for DNA and life in general.

This post will focus on the Ninth house but I might make a speculation post about the other houses (especially the sixth) in the future.

About the cold - depending on what kind of atmosphere they created, this cold can range from "unhabitable" to "harsh winter days" and I think the latter is correct, because Gideon went outside to wait for her shuttle. We know that it is cold and it makes sense that people live underground here: it's easier to stay warm in an insulated chamber than in a house on the surface. But people in cold climates evolved an ability to constrict blood vessels in their skin and only flush it with blood periodically - this helps prevent frostbite and heat loss. This could be something that showed up on the Ninth in ten thousand years, but a more sinister option would be that John/Anastasia somehow tweaked Ninth genetics to have adaptations against the cold. Since Pluto would not be the only planet where this adaptation would be useful, I can see it being done in Dominicus in general. Maybe something like a knot of blood vessels that allows the blood temperature in the limbs to be lower than in the body so they do not loose body heat and their hands can still function. Maybe Ninth inhibitants have reserves of brown fat and thus also raise their body temperature when needed.

The other option is making them resistent to cold and adapting to a lower body temperature but this is complicated for mammals so even if John did give some people ways to fight the cold it was not this kind.

The UV radiation - you could just say melanin but that's not enough here. Having darker pigments helps, but only to a point, so they would have to try something else. Their line of defence against UV would probably still be on the skin surface, that makes the most sense, so if I must guess some kind of "sunscreen" that gets secreated with sweat that catches most of the UV so the melanin can deal with the rest. There are naturally occuring anti UV compounds that could work this way, some of them work way better than melanin actually, but after being exposed to UV rays they are short lived and need to be disposed and replaced at a rate that is only possible if they are on the skin and not in the skin. This would also line up with the face paint, since covering the face would mean it will be less likely to basically get sun damaged in -5 degrees Celsius weather. Most of those compounds are colorless so they wouldn't even be noticeable.

About the low oxygen - this is the part where I question everything, because if John did modify people, he had to modify all of them to a point, because Gideon is not from the Ninth and she is not passing out every five minutes. It would be logical that god, after putting people in the age of spaceships, wanted to have people who can function with low levels of oxigen. If this is the case, I suspect the Ninth and the Sixth would be the most adapted to dealing with air that is low in oxygen. The assumption is that all citizens of Dominicus - depending when John tinkered with this ability, maybe even outside Dominicus - can function in low oxygen enviroment, but the Sixth and the Ninth are probably more efficient and can go longer with less of it without tissue damage occuring. These possible adaptations range from more efficient gas exchange in the lungs to having molecules that can quickly repair damage in cells caused by the lack of oxygen, they might even store super oxigenated blood in their liver like seals do and just shuffle it around their body periodically when needed. The brain and the heart are pretty oxygen hungry organs and they have to deal with that somehow because other organs could be possible "switched off" if needed but the brain and heart must work constantly. There are ways to lessen their use of oxigen but once again it's complicated so lets settle on "they make it work somehow" until I write a theory post about the Sixth.

Bonus point: what the hell are snow leaks?! - writing this post made me think what kind of vegetation could live on Pluto and what is helping it grow exactly. I was ready to jump on the "god did it" idea but then I realised that we do have plants on earth that thrive in low oxygen, low light conditions. They do need UV, sure, but we have already discussed that there is a shit ton of that on the Ninth, so I suspect snow leaks might be... Actually turnips. They can grow in low oxygen, cold and with low nutrient needs, while actual leaks need so much moisture and very fertile soil to grow. Unless god personally came down to the ninth and did something to the leeks I refuse to believe they would ever grow on the Ninth. Sorry for the leek truthers but I'm dying on this hill.

[morallygreycactus]

Burnt pancakes

Note: This is my first attempt at writing a story x reader. It‘s also the first story I ever consider posting. Also, please be aware that I researched literally nothing for this fic. The idea just got stuck in my head and I needed to get it out. Plus, English isn‘t my first language. So, sorry for any inaccuracies or mistakes, feel free to give suggestions.

Summary: having unexpected breakfast after a one night stand and slowly things start to turn into more

Pairing: Lando Norris x fem!baker!reader

Warnings: self-doubt, anxiety, but this is mostly fluff

Word count: 1k

Bonus part - Sweetest little things

The bell on your door rings. A soft sound you‘re so used to, you barely look up at it.

But now, you do.You know it‘s him even before you look. Lando.

He steps into your bakery like he belongs there. Relaxed, but with a quiet confidence. Showing he learned the rhythm of this place and doesn’t want to disturb it. Wants to fit in.

You glance up from behind the counter, in the same well-worn flowery apron you always wear. There is already a smile tugging at your lips. “You’re early.”

He leans on the counter, grinning. “I missed the smell.”

“Of the cinnamon buns? Should I be jealous?”

“Can’t I miss both? Also, you smell a lot like cinnamon buns. And I mean that totally affectionate!” His voice is teasing, but with a soft undertone and full of love, making your heart clench.

You reach for something on the counter and hand him a steaming mug. “Want some hot chocolate? Made it today, with lots of chocolate and some cinnamon. Thought you might like it.”

He dramatically presses a hand to his chest before taking the mug. “You know how to make a guy feel special.”

“Want to feel even more special?”, you ask, setting down a plate with a cinnamon bun down in front of him. “Still warm.”

“And I thought winning races was impressive.” He looks like a puppy that just got offered its favourite treat.

You roll your eyes, but the corners of your mouth twitch with a fond smile. “I‘ve got something else, too”, you say, ducking beneath the counter, “That‘s what really is special, just for you.”

From a small box, you pull out a cookie. Just a single cookie, but making it took longer than baking a whole load of chocolate chips. I was shaped exactly like a small helmet. And not just any helmet. Carefully, almost like you were afraid to break it, you showed it to him. Green glaze with black swirls, even a shimmering visor could be seen with enough imagination.

Lando blinks. “Wait… is that…?”

“Your helmet”, you say, blushing. “Or, well. The cookie version.”

He stared at it like it was the most thoughtful thing he’d ever seen.

“I’m not saying I’m impressed”, he says slowly, “but I might sponsor you if you ever consider opening a shop for edible merch.”

“Eat it”, you say, placing the cookie on the plate next to his cinnamon bun. “Before I regret giving it to you.”

“I might keep it forever”, he says, already pulling out his phone.

He shifts a little closer to the display counter, lining up the perfect shot: the cookie in his hand and him pretending to bite into it, the neat rows of pastries behind her, the soft gold lettering on the glass that read Bloom & Bake.

Found a place where you can get the sweetest little things, made with real heart.

Warm buns, amazing cakes, and cookies shaped like your favorite racing disaster.

Bloom & Bake - easily the best bakery in town.

(No, not gatekeeping. You’re welcome.)

He shows her the picture to her along with the caption. The thoughts behind it, the way he promotes her work without posting her face or outing their relationship, as well as his obvious fondness, makes her heart clench.

„You want to post this?“

„Only if you‘re okay with it.“

„It‘s sweet.“

„So it‘s okay for you when I post it?“

„You know, if all your fans show up demanding you-shaped cookies, I won‘t be able to keep up with baking and might have less time to spend with you.“

„I could help you with baking, solving both problems!“

„Please don‘t“, you laugh, „I prefer my bakery not burned to the ground.“

„You're mean!“, he gasps in shock.

„Just being honest“, you shrug.

Lando chuckles, carefully putting the cookie back in its box, before searching your gaze again.

“Noted. Baking comes first, relationship second.”

“Your words, not mine”, you reply, but your smile gives you away.

He places the cookie box next to his plate and finally settles into the high chair on the counter, propping his elbows on the glass and watching you fondly.

“But I like coming in second,” he says, quieter this time. “If it means I get to be here.”

You roll your eyes and turn around, unable to hold his gaze. Your cheeks are warm again, and you know he can tell. He always can.

“You're never just second”, you murmur under your breath, and he pretends he didn't hear it, finally digging into his cinnamon roll and watching you work.

„Maybe don‘t post it right now, give me some time to prepare. Also, I can imagine that some people will immediately start to look for you and when they see you here, like this,with me…I mean us…there surely will be rumors and I‘m not sure if I want the whole world to know. Don‘t get me wrong, I don‘t want to keep it a secret, it‘s just…“, you start explaining, while emptying the dishwasher and sorting the dishes away, before your voice trails off.

„It feels like the whole world is watching and that can be a bit much“, Lando adds, voice soft, as if he knows how you feel, „Especially if you‘re not used to it. I get that, it‘s okay. That‘s why I asked if you were okay with me posting it. I won‘t do it when you say no.“

„I know“, you sigh, relieved, and turn to face him again, „And that‘s why I know it will be okay. I don‘t want to hide, I just need time…again.“

„You know I won‘t rush you, never. I might start texting you bakery jokes again, but that‘s all. And if you want me to hide from customers coming in, I‘m going to jump over the counter and quietly sit in a cupboard so nobody will see me.“

You can‘t help but laugh, swatting at him with a dishtowel. „You‘re impossible!“

He dodges easily, grinning. „But you still love me.“

[hurricanek8art]

Nightmares and Memories: a Legacy of the Sith one-shot

In which I am apparently posting fic now? I DON'T KNOW. I've had this drabble written since the rumors about a certain someone's return started a few months ago as a "just in case" and now it's really relevant and I'm hopped up on Celebration excitement and frustration over not being able to solve that art problem. SO FIC. I GUESS. *INTERNAL SCREAMING*

Agent Chrysali Vidoi is used to nightmares, what with all the ghosts from her past and skeletons in her closet—but some are worse than others, and this one might be the worst of them all, because he's the only one left that she's genuinely afraid of. Set somewhere around the beginning of 7.5's story. Spoilers for that and some of 7.6 obviously abound. Sticking most of it under a read more because of that, and also because I'm slightly terrified and it's less of a jumpscare when I open the SWTOR tag. 🙃

...I need some kind of divider graphic for summaries for if when i post more writing instead of just a line of these (~~~) thingies i forgot what they're called...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This wasn't right.

She was on the deck of his flagship. The Eradicators were outside the viewport. This wasn't right. This was all space flotsam.

This wasn't right.

This.

Wasn't.

Right.

"Hello, Agent."

Chills went down her spine. The air flew out of her lungs. She turned, trying to draw her blades, her blasters, something, but it was too late. In a heartbeat, she was in the air though nothing was touching her, pinned to the bulkhead like an insect. She couldn't struggle. She couldn't even move.

"It's been a long time," he said, unreadable behind the featureless mask. His hands were folded behind his back, she could feel his eyes upon her. Sweat rolled down her face. Tears poured from her eyes. Don't, please don't, don't look at me, don't—

"You have changed in our years apart. Grown stronger, I think. You have something to lose now, something to fight for. It's emboldened you. Made you even more dangerous."

No, please, no, no—

"Oh, do not concern yourself with that. I do not come seeking revenge," he said coolly, taking a few steps forward. The pressure in her lungs, the fear in her mind, increased with every micrometer. "At least, not yet. Not now. I wanted to see how you've changed before I make my move."

Her heart pounded in her chest, in her throat, in her ears, but still she was trapped, and he grew ever closer, faces centimeters apart now.

"I have waited all this time. Planned. Strategized. Looking for the perfect moment to finally strike. I believe that time grows close now. So close I can almost taste it. I am coming, Agent. I shall return."

Her voice struggled to leave her throat. "Why... tell... me?"

"I chose you all that time ago, did I not? You and I are alike. Made unique from our peers. Alone in the galaxy because of it." His mask was almost touching her face, it was so close. She couldn't breathe. "You defied my offer before. But I am generous. I will extend the offer to stand by my side once more, and once more only. I trust you to make the correct decision, when the time comes. Goodbye, Agent. Until we meet again..."

Chrysali's entire body shuddered and jerked as she awoke, gasping for air. Strands of hair stuck to her face with sweat, loose pajamas clinging to her skin, and her heart hammered and thudded against her ribs. Chills went up and down her bare arms, the soft red light of the cybernetic nodes studded along her arms and shoulders steadily blinking as her eyes adjusted to the dark in the bedroom, and awareness of where she actually was began to sink in. She was safe, she was home, he wasn't here—

"Chrys?" Theron mumbled sleepily. He must've been woken up when she sat up so suddenly and shifted his arm around her. "Everything okay?"

She fought to steady her breathing, still searching the room. "I—the flagship, the Eradicators—Jadus, he was there, he spoke to me—"

He groggily sat up with her, awake but not quite alert. "What do you mean?"

"He was—was talking about returning. He wants me to serve him again. I can't—I won't—I—"

"Hey, hey, hey, it's okay," Theron said quietly. He put an arm around her, rubbing her arm soothingly. "Sounds like another bad nightmare. You've had these before."

"This one was so real," Chrysali breathed, panting slightly.

"But it's gone now," Theron soothed. "C'mon, let's go back to sleep, we've got a busy day tomorrow." He glanced at the chrono on the opposite wall and groaned softly as he laid back down. "Today. We have a busy day today. In about five hours."

Right. They were still tracking Shae, however poorly that was going. And Chrysali was still putting feelers out with her old network to dig up more dirt on Heta Kol, see if they could tackle that part of the problem from a different direction. Lots to do.

"The human cost is acceptable. The only alternative is to let Jadus escape—and do worse down the line."

"The human cost isn't acceptable to me!"

She shuddered at the old memories, trying to push them away. It was so long ago now. And Lana had tracked Jadus briefly during the Zildrog incident, he was somewhere in the Unknown Regions, minding his business on his own little planetoid. He wasn't an active threat. They were okay. They were safe. She was safe. Theron was safe.

Chrysali settled back in, head in its usual spot on Theron's chest so she could listen to his heart, hand rested against his ribs and over the scar tissue from Nathema. Theron was already back asleep, arm instinctively back around her and settled just right so he could feel her breathing.

They were safe.

It was just a nightmare.

It had to be.

Slowly, uneasily, Chrysali drifted off back to sleep

[crienselt]

So I finished Oathbound last week (librarian perk in that we get the books early so they can be cataloged, and it was just going to be sitting there waiting for its shelf date. I mean, how could I not read it?), and I'm really looking forward to seeing how others feel about it because I think...I think I might be disappointed by it? Spoilers below.

I mean, I absolutely love Tracy's writing. It is so beautiful and engrossing and impactful. I still love Bree and will follow this girl off of any and every cliff, and I adore the rest of the cast with my whole heart. The newbies were great, as is the world expansion/deepening. The plot line of the missing girls was excellent and a very much welcome inclusion.

But...but I think I could tell that this book was not the original plan. None of the problems from the last book were solved aside from Bree maybe getting stronger? I do appreciate her journey here, and I can see how Tracy would feel having her explore her power and self outside of the Order and Rootcrafters was necessary, but I just...I don't know. I feel like everyone else was basically left in a holding pattern as a result? I guess maybe I was over anticipating it--the story as a whole and/or certain things, specifically. Like I feel like we still don't know much of the Moraines outside of Nick's info dump. And we met Natasia, but she and Bree barely spoke. Tracy was hyping Valec and he was great, but I'm not sure what she's referencing in said hype posts. The mulitple POVs were okay, though I remain slightly disappointed that it didn't stay soley in Bree's voice yet also dissappointed we didn't get more out of these other POVs. Are we ever going to learn about the other scions powers? And if this was supposed to be the book where Nick beat the golden boy allegations, man, it failed. 

Don't get me wrong I love Nick. He is a great character. But this boy cannot do anything wrong. Even when he apparently makes mistakes, no, he doesn't because it turns out it was actually just him protecting Bree. The way he always seems to know everything (plot points) already and knows exactly what to say or do for Bree, while really terrific, it just...I don't know? Annoys me? Hurts their realism? Because, honestly, I know people like to say Sel seems old (the way he talks), but Nick is the one that really seems the least like a real teenage boy. Sel's pretentiousness and arrogance and mood swings are very much a young adult. Nick with all his purposeful language and careful consideration is very much not a teenage boy. I guess maybe we chalk that up to being raised to be a king? I don't know. It's all just too perfect. Which feels like a dumb complaint because it's good for Bree. She deserves it. But it all just makes me shrug where the romance comes in. 

Which irritates me because I really WANT to like Bree/Nick. But I just don't. That isn't to say that I dislike it because that's not true. I just find myself feeling very "meh" about it. Reading Legendborn, it felt like more of a plot point than a grand romance, especially as so much of that book is really spent seeding Bree/Sel. Then you have Bloodmarked, which definitely opened me to enjoying Bree/Sel and if nothing else, the narrative had me actively waiting for and wanting that kiss to happen when it did. 

Then along comes Oathbound. I can tell Tracy was really trying here--so many tropes!--but a lot of it felt reminiscent of stuff she already did with Sel. The bickering, the attempts to hold back and mask feelings/inability to vocalize said feelings, the post shower torso ogling, the cutting short of an intimate moment because no, not like this*, etc. And I guess I just don't know what to make of the magical aspect of it all? Maybe I'm just not into destiny ships? It's like, okay, happy for them, moving on with life now. Not a ship that captures my imagination the way I want to be captured.

(I will say it is funny because I came out of Bloodmarked not knowing how Tracy could write a book like that if BreeSel isn't endgame. And now I'm coming out of Oathbound not knowing how Tracy could write a book like that if BreeNick isn't endgame. The love triangle honestly feels over. But, hey, I've no clue where the story goes from here. Maybe the poly people will have the day. But this book definitely did not lay the groundwork for Nick to have romantic feelings for Sel either, so maybe not? I think we're in nakama territory with those two, personally. All of this is to assume Sel ever stops being demonic. Not sure how he comes back from this or where this story is going at all.)

*Gotta say it was something to see Sel cut short their kiss in Bloodmarked because of Nick only for demonic Sel to use said kiss to try and hurt Nick.

At any rate, I'll be sat for book 4. I'll just maybe expect less?

[eusuntgratie]

as a certified mom(tm), what's the most common thing people get wrong when they write children?

ooooh i love this question! (adding certified mom to the resume STAT btw)

i think the MOST common thing people get wrong is the realistic development/representation of a child at a certain age. i see lots of fic where a three year old is speaking in full sentences, where an eight year old baby-talks all the time, where a six year old has literally no concept of what is happening in their life. i saw a good tumblr post that was a great resource for writing kids by age that i'll see if i can find. but with how many moms are on tumblr, i think just asking them... how would a five year old talk? or how would a ten year old handle this type of situation? would be a great start.

there are other things that are always jarring for me as a parent that someone who doesn't spend a lot of time with kids might not notice or care about.

the first is that your (young) kids are ALWAYS around. you are literally always responsible for where your kid is and what they are doing. if they aren't with you, you've made a plan for where they are, how they'll get there, when you'll pick them up, etc. there are exceptions of course (people living on huge pieces of land or in neighborhoods where they know everyone are more likely to have their kids running around and might not know exactly where they are, some people have multigenerational households and have a lot of help). but even in those cases, the parent still knows and is responsible for that kid. there's nothing wrong with writing a kidfic that isn't realistic just bc its cute or you like the trope. but as a parent its jarring as hell to have a character introduced as a parent (especially a single parent!) and then the kid is never around. i promise you that man is not fuckin' or going on dates as much as you want him to be 🤣 or if he is, it took a LOT of work or he has a LOT of support.

related to this, every parent i know is exhausted. if their love interest isn't attracted to their eye bags or letting them sleep instead of waking them up for sex, get outta my face. the sexiest thing a partner could do for a parent? LET THEM SLEEP.

related, we do fuck with kids in the house. (cough cough chris going on sleepovers 3x/week in fic 🤣). its okay. you can make keeping quiet sexy. you can lock the door so you'll hear it if they need something without traumatizing them. you can use a baby monitor to keep an eye or ear out. we don't wait until our kids leave to have sex, or some of us would hardly ever have sex.

a few random notes and i'll wrap up. kids aren't (and shouldn't be put in the position to be) solving their parents problems for them. most kids won't immediately trust a new adult, especially if that person is dating their parent and their other parent is still in their life, even if they really like that person. a parent would not leave their child with their brand new love interest unless they had literally no other option. i have some issues, but there are very few people i trust to be alone with my kid. someone i don't know well would never make it onto that list.

lastly, parents fuck up. we aren't perfect. i try really really hard to break generational shit, to do better, to be a good mom. i've read lots of books, done tons of therapy, found great resources, done parenting groups, i consult with other parent friends and friends who work in mental health about challenging situations. and i fuck up all the time. kids, even great kids, are little assholes sometimes. nobody's perfect, and that's okay. nobody's kid is a perfect little angel 24/7 and nobody is a perfect parent.

my askbox is always open and i always love to talk about writing! thanks for this it was a fun question to answer <3

[hyunjinsbelovedamericano]

Skz when your sad

fluff as usual

not proof read

Bangchan

he would try cheer you up with his horrible jokes,"Why are elevator jokes so good?"you just stare at him,"Because they work on so many levels"He enjoying the jokes more than you are,it seems like he's cheering himself up at this point,but after that he would comfort you on what your dealing with

Lee know

He would ask you what's wrong and try to solve the problem,"What's the matter?",if its over something stupid he's done,"I have no more haribo's😭","Seriously?"he says while rolling his eyes,"Yes!My haribos are gone" in my opinion that's a valid reason to be upset 🤷‍♀️

Changbin

He would be confused,"How could you be sad when you have a hottie boyfriend like me 😝",he would be serious and unintentionally make you laugh,"You don't see someone this hot on the side of the road,If i was an adopt me pet I would be Legendary","In Fact i would be above Legendary"

Hyunjin

He would try do things he hates to cheer you up,for example he may hate when you do his makeup,but he would let you do just to cheer you up,"I look like a clown-i mean i look beautiful",it's pure torture for him but your enjoying it and that's all that matters

Han

He would ask you why then admit stuff you didn't know he did,"Is it because i broke your iPad?","WHAT","Wait you didn't know-i mean i didn't break your ipad i don't even know that you had one",he tries to explain himself but fails terribly He somehow manages to make you more upset than you already are,

Felix

He would be so sweet😭,he would beg you to not be sad,he would be like"Stop don't cry because if your gonna cry im gonna cry",You guys would end up crying together,on other occasions..he would do his best to make you happy,he would push everything aside just for you

Seungmin

He would be the reason why your crying,he just doesn't know it.He wouldn't know what to say😭,"I'm mad at you","Okay","Your now gonna ask why?","Why would i ask that?",he'll try to be helpful might end up laughing at you,but eventually he will comfort you

Jeongin

I feel like he would say,"It is what it is",or,"Could be way worse",he'll see you crying and ask why when you tell the reason he'll say something that has nothing to do with your problem,"could of been way worse","How?","You could've got herpes"

Sorry for not posting for a while

i should probably get a posting schedule

do any of you have any request(fluff)

[simonaslangblabblr]

Why does studying feel like a chore sometimes?

Hi everyone, today I want to talk about the fact that sometimes studying really feels tedious, even if it's something you enjoy and even if it's not bound to deadlines imposed by school or university.

I personally experienced this during the first lockdowns in the pandemic. I had a lot of free time because I was home, but I could not start studying Korean to save my life, I was literally forgetting about it. Indeed, I ended up putting it off until I completed my Master's degree in 2024.

I was not taking it lightheartedly: it was supposed to be something I enjoyed, yet why was I procrastinating it so hard that I was forgetting its entire existence?

🤔The possible answers to my case

Now, I'm not good at self-acceptance, but I tried thinking about all the possibilities without beating myself up, but also while maintaining some objectivity:

We were all home, but it was not a normal time. It was a time where nobody would have known how the future would have been and this could have definitely stressed out our brains.

I was still in university, which meant that I had different priorities at the time. Sum it up with the aforementioned stress, and it becomes much easier to put self-studying at the very last place of your mental list.

I had chosen a language that, for a native Italian speaker, was objectively difficult, because of how different it is (the two languages are not even in the same language macrogroup). Korean grammar also seems to appear very intricate for most language learners across the Internet, from what I've seen.

My attention span got objectively worse: in order to check the news, I was constantly scrolling either on Google or on social media, which made it harder for me to focus. My grades at university did not resent from it, but it made me harder to pick anything study-related outside of my uni workload.

The whole situation, as a result, has made me exhausted and quite detached from my interests and parts of my "identity" pre-pandemic, and I'm still trying to reconnect the pieces nowadays.

🌈 Is it over now?

I'm not sure that the situation is completely solved right now - I definitely do not forget about Korean anymore. However, I have also accepted that life happens and we do not have the same level of motivation every day, and that's okay.

I also implemented some strategies to ease the problem:

I committed to reducing harmful screentime and doomscrolling in order to fix my attention span;

I planned my exercises for every language in advance, so I do not have to stress over what has to be done;

I waited until the end of my university studies before picking up Korean again: sometimes, we're just too busy for the mental load that a certain hobby requires, so the best solution might also be to wait it out until you have more mental space.

I hope this post was useful in case someone had been feeling the same way recently. You got this!

If you have been through the same problem and solved it, how did you do it? Do you have any recommendation?

[sweetkpopmusings]

long for you (interlude) | h. hyunjin <3

a/n: here's the interlude! only one more part of the fic left after this </3 this one is angsty, but i hope you enjoy it nevertheless >.< currently at work so i might make edits to it later lol if you want to be added to the tag list, you can reply to this post or send me an ask! pics not mine <3

♡ find all parts here ♡

content: fluff, romance, fake dating, angst, a happy ending | wc: 3.7k | warnings: mentions of food/eating, lots of crying | pairing: nonbinary!painter!hyunjin x gn!writer!reader | requests: open

synopsis: y/n is a writer with a long-awaited, well-deserved career opportunity. despite the excitement, there’s one major problem: the publisher expects a modern love story, equally romcom-like and authentic, but y/n lacks the inspiration to write something worth reading. through a chance meeting with mutual friends, y/n and hyunjin bond over upcoming deadlines and creative blocks. before the conversation ends, they discover that the ridiculous plot of fake dating might just work to solve their inspirational dry spell.

interlude: love untold

“y/n!”

a familiar voice calls your name. you look around the crowd, searching for anyone you recognize, not quite sure what you’re trying to find. when you see his face, you understand why the way he called your name sounded so much like home.

chan hurries over the second you wave to him, and you instinctively smile at his lopsided curls bouncing with each step he takes. you melt into his bear hug, warmed by the contact and the closeness of his bright smile. it’s only once you realize that he has run into you here that you feel a tiny wave of shock roll over you.

“wait, chan,” you tilt your head, “how are you…why are you here?”

he laughs, “i’m just as surprised to see you, y/n. i’m here interviewing for a new job.”

“oh wow! that’s great! how did it go?”

“i have the interview tomorrow, actually. i figured i’d get in a day early to feel out the area and make sure i like it.”

“and? what’s your review so far?”

chan’s excited grin is replaced by a soft smile, “seeing you makes it perfect.”

with a simple sentence, chan has you blushing the way you did as a teenager. it didn’t take much to fall into the old rhythm with him: easy conversation, light touches, inside jokes suddenly at the front of your mind despite not having been uttered in years. you two could have lost yourselves in each other’s presence anywhere, but chan suggests you migrate into a coffee shop to continue the conversation. as your agenda for the rest of the day is empty, you lead chan to a nearby coffee shop, relaxing into your seat with your favorite drink and the comfort of an old companion.

“so, tell me everything that’s been going on with you!”

you laugh, “chan. we haven’t seen each other in what, two, three years now? i hardly think telling you everything is possible.”

“i thought you said you had the rest of the night free?”

you roll your eyes, and chan giggles at his own joke. quietly, you prioritize what information to share, careful not to spiral and think about how much has changed since your last conversation with chan.

“i guess i can start with the fact that i got a book deal.”

chan just about drops his drink, “no way, y/n! that’s amazing! wow! i knew you’d do it one day. i know it has been your dream for ages. i’m so proud of you!”

“thank you, chan,” you pause to ensure he knows the depth of your gratitude, “it is a ghostwriting contract, so my name won’t be on it, but it feels surreal that someone’s paying me to write a book.”

“do you know when it’ll come out? i need to be first in line to buy it.”

“i honestly have no idea, but i’m turning in the manuscript tomorrow. the first draft of it, anyway.”

“wooooow,” chan leans back in his chair, “i’m so impressed. you’re like a big-time author now.”

“okay, don’t get ahead of yourself,” you scoff, still complimented by his pride in you, “but what about you? what brings you here for a new job?”

“eh, nothing as exciting as your news. i just want something new. i haven’t been feeling inspired with the work i do now, and i need a change of scenery. i moved back home after we…you know. it was great to go back to my roots. it’s time for me to move forward, turn a new page, start a life where no one knows me. at least that was the plan until i ran into you.”

you both laugh, and you reply, “if your interview tomorrow goes well, i can act like i don’t know you, so things can go according to plan.”

chan laughs boyishly, the way you always remembered it, “i appreciate your support, but i’d hate nothing more than for you to forget about me.”

you nod. you’d often caught yourself wondering whether chan still thought about you, whether he remembered any details of you and your life together. the space between you two was never supposed to grow this vast, but you figure that’s just how these things go sometimes. you feel a pang in your chest, sitting across from him, aware of how much he still means to you, despite it all.

“not to draw attention to the elephant in the room,” chan starts, feigning confidence over the redness in his ears, “are you seeing anyone?”

“please,” you laugh dryly, “you know i’m not.”

chan hums, observing you for a few extra seconds, “something’s going on in your love life.”

“chan!” you gape at him with disbelief, “based on what evidence?”

he leans closer to you, elbows on the table and eyes focused, “come on. i know you better than most people, especially when it comes to this stuff. who is it?”

you frown, hoping you can get him to believe that nothing is happening. predictably, even after years of separation, chan waits patiently. silent, stubborn, supportive.

“fine,” you sigh, spinning your cup a few times to delay your admission, “i was involved–well, not really involved, per se. there was…someone. we had something. at least, i thought we did, and i thought they thought so too. then, they ended things without warning. i can’t say they were in the wrong because being able to end things was a part of our…agreement…but it still hurt. i felt–feel–blindsided and delusional and stupid for getting my hopes up. i don’t think there’s anything to do now except move on, which sucks because it felt special. but hey,” you laugh sordidly, “i’ve been wrong about that before.”

chan smiles, some sadness peeking through, “we both have been wrong about that before.”

you nod, coming up empty on what to say next. chan watches you to ensure you’ve shared everything you wanted to before he speaks again.

“i’m sorry, y/n. i don’t know what they were thinking, and i won’t ask you to dredge up every detail, but i don’t need to know the whole situation to know that they made a mistake. you are so special. loving and being loved by you is the greatest gift i’ve ever known. you deserve someone who recognizes that, and i’m sorry that they weren’t smart enough to.”

you clear your throat, overwhelmed by chan’s words, “thanks, chan.”

“of course,” he smiles, “i’m what you could call an expert on this subject.”

you both laugh again, and chan continues, “all i wanted to do was give you the best. i still want to. i always thought if we saw each other again…” chan pauses to ensure he’s caught your gaze, “i would love to be the person that gives you what you deserve, if you’d let me.”

oh. 

“chan…”

“you don’t have to answer right now. besides, i wouldn’t ask for your time if we still lived as far apart as we do now. i just mean that, one way or another, i’d love to be back in your life. i still love you, and i always will, regardless of what that love looks like.”

a smile spreads across your face. chan, as you always remembered, never fails to surround you with warmth. you tell him so as you both say your goodbyes. you promise to call, much to chan’s excitement. he promises to tell you how the interview goes, and you can’t help but hope that he gets the job in the city, this city, your city. 

later, while you muscle through the final edits of your first manuscript, jisung stops by to confirm that you’re eating and drinking enough. against your best efforts, you mention chan right away.

“chan’s here?” jisung’s eyes are wide, though you can’t tell with which emotion.

you nod, “yeah, he’s interviewing for a job tomorrow.”

“oh wow, good for him!” jisung pauses his celebration for chan to ask the inevitable, “how did it feel to see him after…everything?”

you sigh, wondering how far down memory lane you were willing to travel, “it felt…good. we were comfortable right away, and, though it was clear time had passed, we were as connected as we had always been. he actually…i think, if he moves here, he wants to give us another shot.”

“whoa,” jisung looks arguably more shocked than you were when chan made his abrupt confession.

“yeah. i was surprised too. but i don’t know…i felt surprised in a good way, i think. obviously the whole hyunjin situation is fresh, and i’d be lying if i said i was over it. yet running into chan randomly for him to admit that he still wants to be with me, in some capacity at least, maybe that’s happening for a reason. i’ve felt so cynical about love for a long time. what if chan is the happy ending i’ve been craving all along?”

“i’m glad that seeing him went so well,” jisung chuckles, “i know when you two were with each other, you constantly talked about building a future together. you were happy with chan, there’s no denying that. but…”

“i know, i know,” you cut him off, so he doesn’t have to be the one to bring up the uncomfortable reminder, “he was my first love, and my first heartbreak. i can’t forget that he ended things because i distanced myself from him. i was scared, jisung. even though, or perhaps because, we were so young, our relationship was so idyllic. everything seemed to line up perfectly, and yet there was a pit in my stomach because i always worried that something was missing. could it have been that i found what was missing by growing up?”

“you sound like me,” he teases, a bit impressed, “it genuinely could be that you needed time apart to figure yourselves out before you could make it work. you and chan were great together; anyone could see that. if giving that relationship another, more mature try, is the right move, then you have my full support. but y/n…is chan the one you want to be with?”

“i…” you glance over at the poem hanging on your fridge, briefly feeling the way hyunjin’s words had moved you that night not so far in the past, “i’ve been feeling cynical about love and relationships for a long time. seeing chan made me feel hopeful again.”

“was it really chan that changed your mind?”

you roll your eyes and scoff, “whatever hyunjin made me feel doesn’t count. we weren’t even together anyway.”

jisung sighs, “just because you weren’t technically together doesn’t mean you didn’t build a relationship. the way you felt about hyunjin is what changed your mind on love, if you ask me. and, as we’ve already established, i have earned my wisdom when it comes to love.” 

you both laugh, relieving the tension. jisung definitely knew what he was talking about, and you know that he wouldn’t say anything regarding your love life if it weren’t important.

“what do you think i should do?”

a sweet and sympathetic smile appears on jisung’s face, “you know i can’t answer that. what i can say is i hope you chase after what’s right for you now. the younger version of you deserved real love, and who you are now deserves real love. that love might look different, whether it comes from the same person or not. it’s probably the romantic in me, but i think you’ll know if you’ve found that love. i hope you trust your gut, and i’ll support you no matter who or what you choose.”

with that, you thank him and remind him that you have a novel to finish, which means you don’t quite have the time for an existential crisis about love tonight. he laughs, wishes you luck, and heads home. you sit at the table for a while, quietly thinking to yourself about the events of the day. you never thought you’d be in a position like this, but you guess that signing up to live out one fanfic trope makes you more susceptible to living out other ones too. with that in mind, after finishing your edits, you decide to add one last line to the ending.

after all that had happened to us, and in spite of whatever would come, the center of everything was this: i have longed for you since the moment i met you; therefore, i will always love you. 

before you can second guess yourself, you send it to your publisher and close your laptop. unable to resist the tears, you sit at your kitchen table, full of relief and sadness, and cry. regardless of what tomorrow brings, one love story has ended. in chasing toward your tomorrow, you have to live with saying goodbye. 

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

“hyunjin!” jeongin looks up from his desk, face composed but eyes wide with surprise, “i wasn’t expecting to see you so soon.”

hyunjin approximates a smile to the best of their abilities, “i figured i should hand the final piece in directly.”

“as always, i appreciate the personal touch,” jeongin grins and points to the large canvas leaning against hyunjin’s body, “is that it?”

“yes,” they gaze down, peeking at the image, “i finally finished it.”

quiet, hyunjin places the painting on a work table in front of jeongin. jeongin examines it, thoroughly dedicated to appreciating every brushstroke. the compliments on his artistic choices are personal and detailed, but hyunjin barely registers them. they’re sure they will be able to hear the precise, sincere feedback a different night, maybe when the exhibition opens, so hyunjin only feels a twinge of regret at being spaced out yet again. jeongin must have been able to tell that hyunjin was only half there because he quickly transitions his praise into a goodbye. hyunjin gratefully accepts the exit plan.

“oh, and hyunjin?”

hyunjin pauses near the door, facing their friend with their full attention, “yeah?”

“take care of yourself, yeah?”

“of course.”

hyunjin makes it only a block before the tears start streaming. hearing those words from jeongin, the type of friend to refrain from casual sentimentality, breaks hyunjin’s thinly veiled detachment. the facade they barely maintained in the past few weeks lacked resilience. how could there be any solidity to him when hyunjin spent the recent past floating away?

they walk aimlessly for some amount of time, landing at a park bench. the afternoon sun would usually deter them from this spot, but the overcast sky makes the place feel less visible, less connected to the rest of the outside world. hyunjin hadn’t been outside for more than a few minutes at a time since the conversation at the restaurant, so they melt into the bench with hopes that vitamin d will cure them of their self-inflicted heartbreak. cure is perhaps too strong of a hope. hyunjin doesn’t believe anything could undo the hurt he caused, but he wants to believe that the suffering won’t last forever. 

in case the sunshine can’t clear all their problems away, hyunjin calls minho. they feel selfish and stupid and hate that they could be interrupting someone else’s good day, but he can’t think of anything useful on his own. all the time in the studio, all the distancing from friends, all the nights spent writing in their journals couldn’t remove the pit in their stomach, the rock in their chest. the guilt weighed so much more because your name was written all over it.

“hyunjin,” minho answers on the third ring, “how can i help you?”

they laugh through the tears, sniffling, “your customer service knows no bounds.”

“i expect a tip.”

hyunjin laughs again, grateful for a fleeting lightness in his chest before confronting everything that’s crashing down, “minho, i messed up.” 

minho sighs on the other side of the line, “do you want to talk about it?”

thankfully, minho doesn’t rush hyunjin to respond. hyunjin, overcome with just about every emotion they’ve felt in the past few weeks, feels another wave of tears emerge in the presence of his friend’s patience and understanding. they’re not sure what they’re looking for, but being able to admit their mistakes feels like the right place to start.

“i really cared about y/n. like…deeply. more than i’ve cared about someone in a long time, if ever. i miss them, and it’s my fault. it’s like a sick joke. this whole arrangement was built around us finding inspiration for our work, and now, because i got scared, i learned what yearning actually feels like. i feel it in my body, like the urge to reach out for something–someone–that isn’t there anymore. it’s so cliché, and i used to make fun of people for saying it when they went through a breakup, but i look for y/n in everything i see. they’re gone. the feeling of them beside me is like a phantom limb, but i am responsible for the amputation. i feel like i can’t even be sad about it because i’m the one who left. i can’t even say i don’t know what went wrong because i ruined it. i regret it. minho, i don’t know what to do.”

“hyunjin,” minho sighs, “you need to be kinder to yourself. yes, you made a mistake, but you don’t deserve to tear yourself apart for it.”

“don’t i though? what i have–had–with y/n was so special. they deserve so much more than what i gave them, what i was giving them and then immaturely ripped away. they were so kind to me, so honest. and i threw that all away without so much as an explanation.”

“okay,” minho lets out a breath with a hint of frustration, “i really think you’re taking this self-flagellation thing way too far, but i won’t waste time arguing with you if you don’t want to believe me–”

“where did you learn ‘self-flagellation’?”

“hyunjin, seriously?” minho deadpans.

hyunjin can perfectly picture the annoyed look on minho’s face, and he laughs, “sorry, you’re right. we were being serious and vulnerable. i shouldn’t have interrupted with a joke.”

“exactly, you shouldn’t have interrupted the vulnerability.”

“are you talking about you or y/n now?”

“a little bit of both, but mostly y/n. you got scared because you two were so open with each other. you felt seen in a way you hadn’t before. that’s rare. all of us would be or have been intimidated by something like that.”

“not everyone runs away though,” hyunjin frowns, kicking a rock by their foot, “i did the thing you’re not supposed to do when you find someone as…perfect as y/n.”

“do you want them back?”

hyunjin bites his lip, scared even now to be honest about their desire, “it’s not like they would give me a second chance. they’re smarter than that.”

“that’s not the question i asked,” minho replies, kind yet firm.

panicking, they reply, “you know, even though it was a fake relationship, we kissed once. it was my idea, sort of as a joke. we did it anyway, ‘for the plot,’” hyunjin chuckles, “there was this clarity, in the seconds after we kissed. i realized then and there that i was far more tied to y/n than i ever expected or could have hoped. i know it sounds dramatic, but it’s like, with them, my heart and soul were…now they’re…life isn’t…i just thought that things would have turned out a completely different way, and maybe i was romanticizing things–i probably was, i always do–but that doesn’t change the fact that…” 

hyunjin pauses their rambling to take a deep breath, knowing there are only a few words left to say, “i want to be with y/n.”

for a brief second, the weight of everything falls away into sweet certainty. hyunjin wants to be with you, plain and simple. their stomach twists at the fact that you weren’t together because they ran away, but his heart leaps in hope that maybe things could still change.

“do you feel better now that you’ve said it?”

hyunjin sighs, relief rather than regret, “yeah. i do.”

“good,” minho pauses, and hyunjin imagines he’s cracking his knuckles in preparation for the nitty gritty advice he’s about to drop, “i think it’s important to point out that, just because you were fake dating each other doesn’t mean that you two didn’t have a relationship at all. you shared a connection, and the bond you built together was real, even if you weren’t earnestly trying to be romantic partners.”

oh.

hyunjin stays silent, so minho continues, “like i said, running away from someone, something special, because you’re scared of how much they mean to you is a mistake we all have or will make. don’t keep beating yourself up for it. also, don’t keep being dumb by avoiding y/n. if you feel the way you say you feel, then you owe it to yourself and to them to be honest, even if it’s coming a little late. take a chance. you’re already hurt, and you’ve already hurt them. what else do you have to lose?”

“i can’t believe you called me dumb while giving me the most insightful advice i’ve ever heard.”

minho laughs, “life’s about balance, hyunjin.”

hyunjin rolls their eyes, “i guess you’re right. about both things.”

“mhm. i usually am.”

hyunjin scoffs, “okay, if you’re going to gloat about being wise, i’m going to hang up.”

“good!” minho sighs the way one does after a long day’s work, “it’ll give you time to figure out how you’re going to get your person back.”

“you’re so annoying,” hyunjin huffs, “thank you. i’ll tell you how it goes.”

minho hums in agreement, rushing out a don’t forget to stop being dumb! as hyunjin ends the call. hyunjin sets their phone down next to them on the bench and takes a deep breath. the late afternoon is already melting its way into the evening. as hyunjin stares at the setting sun in the distance, they think about the beloved painting above their desk. out there, somewhere in the same city, there’s a chance you are at your bedroom window, saying goodbye to another day with hyunjin on the outside, a part of the world not welcomed into your home. what they wouldn’t give to change that.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

tag list: @velvetmoonlght @tirena1 (<333 tysm)

[indigochromatic]

Another One Of Those Advice-for-New-Systems Posts

Saw one of these going around recently and got inspired. I wouldn't call this advice list the "evil edition", more like the... "do no harm but take no shit" edition X'D

Be on each other's team first, before anything else. Everything gets easier when you're facing it together.

Trying to avoid being (or looking) cringe is a fool's errand. If you would have to bend yourselves into a conciliatory pretzel in order to make a person like you or a social circle accept you, those people are not worth your time.

When you inevitably get hit with episodes of anxious system-doubt, (it's a pretty universal experience, I promise), take a second to pause. What's the longest span of time you've had so far without any "system stuff" (comments in co-con, switches, notes left for you, etc) happening? Say it's a week. Take that time span, double it, and then tell yourself that you are not allowed to seriously, actually start doubting until that long from now (e.g. 2 weeks). "But I'm so sure I'm definitely just faking it!" okay, hey, alright--if that's true, it'll still be true in 2 weeks. You can wait to find out, it's okay.

Be kind to everything in your head anyways, even in the middle of a doubt episode, because that's equally important for singlets to do and not just limited to systems. "Just part of me talking to myself" is as worthy of respect and kindness as an autonomous system member.

Also, keep notes somewhere of Hilariously Plural stuff that happens to you. It'll be good reassurance, but even more importantly, it'll be really funny to look back on later.

Labels are tools to help you communicate your experiences, not boxes you have to sort yourselves into.

The magic question isn't about labels or validity or trauma. It's "What do we need? What do each of us need, individually? What support would help us?"

Don't get too caught up in online system communities. Especially 1) endless tilting-at-windmills debates, and 2) advice channels and feeling obligated to give advice and emotional support to everyone who looks like they might want it. (Note: it's not bad to give advice, but it can be very easy to make a habit of overextending yourselves to care for others instead of yourselves--quite often because your own problems are hard and scary, bc otherwise you would have solved them already, and other peoples' issues can feel a lot more tractable and easier to address.)

Do find people and communities where you feel safe to be yourselves, and where people get to know you for your interests and perspectives and senses of humor, not only for your demographic labels.

It's okay to not know everything or figure everything out right away. There will be changes, there will be surprises, and that's good and normal and part of being alive.

Have fun on purpose. Lean into having fun with being a system, even if fun moments are rare and fleeting at first. Make in-jokes, encourage each other's angsty poetry habits, leave each other notes (even if you share memories), end up with massive crushes on each other, daydream together, hold each other when one (or more) of you is sad. Find things about each other you're grateful for, that you admire and want to learn from, that you enjoy.