#on the guest list no need to queue

[readwritealldayallnight]

Right With You (Part 3)

Captain John Price x Reader

wc: 6.7k words

(18+ MDNI) warnings/tags: fluff, mutual pining, tension, smut, oral (f receiving), p in v sex, no protection (use protection kids!!), finishing inside🫣

You might have bitten off more than you could chew this time.

The sound of your heels clicking and clacking against the marble floor are completely drowned out by the din of the many hundreds of party goers mingling throughout the lavish ballroom, glasses clinking together in cheers, uproarious laughter bellowing out between songs being played by the live musicians. The outskirts of the room are difficult to maneuver without bumping into one another, as the centre of the space has been cleared for dancing.

You’ve been inside the target’s home for all of five minutes and you’re already feeling like you’re way in over your head. You know that amongst the elegantly dressed men and women, there are people here on your side, posing as guests but keeping an eye out for your safety. They’re connected to the comms, as are the approaching men of the 141, intent on finding their own way in as well.

You should really only be using your earpiece if you have no other choice, the whole point of this operation being to go as undetected as possible. If a scene can avoid being made altogether, all the better. You know better than anyone that if John the men hear you sounding anything other than confident over the line, they’ll be barging in, stealth be damned. Right now however, you’re almost wishing you could use it if only to get some help in spotting your target amongst all the moving faces.

Before either of you had even had the mansion in sight, John was directed to pull the car into the long queue of vehicles slowly making their way in the direction of the actual driveway. He’d sent you a glance in the rear view mirror, his eyes betraying the gears that were already beginning to turn in his mind. There might be more people in attendance tonight than expected.

“You’re trying to tell me all these people are also fashionably late?” You’d question, eyeing the long line of fancy cars in front of you, another one having already pulled in behind you. You were purposefully showing up several hours after the party began, the more guests there were there the easier you could blend in. And the later the party, the more intoxicated and distracted party goes would be. But this seemed like a lot of people to still be showing up considering the increasingly late hour.

“I think there might be a guest list we don’ know about.” He had gritted out, gripping the steering wheel with more force. “Or they’re lettin’ any fuckin’ muppet walk in-”

“John,” you’d cut him off. “It’s fine, this doesn’t change anything. Might just take me longer to spot him, but we’ll manage.”

“Gonna be harder for ‘em to keep sights on ya.”

“Well then when I need help I’ll be sure to wave a hand up in the air so they can see me.” You had attempted to joke, but you’d spotted the near imperceptible narrowing of his eyes in your direction. “John, they are there as a precaution. I won’t even need ‘em, you’ll see. What? Unless you don’t believe that I can seduce a man?”

Though he had only been moving at a snails pace with the cars still ahead of him, the mansion only then coming into view around the bend, John slammed on the breaks, lurching you forward ever so slightly at the sudden stop.

“Seducing is not your job tonight.” His knuckles had gone white he gripped the steering wheel so tight before he’d released his death grip, rubbing his eyes in exasperation. “You are a soldier, that’s the only job you’ll do tonight.”

“My superiors have asked me to sneak into a party, discreetly convince a man to follow me to a room alone together, and gave me this to wear as gear.” You emphasized, waving a hand down at your attire. He didn’t want to take the bait, but while you’re in that dress and close enough he can smell the sweet smell of your perfume, he’s a weaker man then he’d like to admit. He glanced down at your figure, admiring not of the first time tonight how utterly ravishing you appear.

You weren’t trying to complain, you yourself had agreed that the plan made sense, but you also wanted him to be realistic here. The expectation was that you were going to get the target alone, as subtly as possible, whatever means necessary. At the very least you were going to be flirting and flattering your ass off tonight.

Undoing your seatbelt, you’d sat on the edge of your seat, inching closer to John in the driver’s spot, leaning in until your painted lips were mere millimeters from his ear, a soft hand landing on his shoulder.

“Orders are orders, after all.” Your lips barely grazed the shell of his ear as you whispered to him, trying to disperse his worries with your teasing. “I would never want to disobey my Captain.”

He’d let out a long, deep sigh through his flared nostrils, the internal conflict within him raging on. You were right, as odd as the circumstances of this mission were, it was nothing more than exactly that, another mission. They’d each been tasked with a job to do, and he knew that as with everything you set your mind to, you’d blow them all away.

As a Captain, he had full confidence in you as a soldier. But as nothing more than simply a man, who so rarely in his life allowed himself to be selfish and do something for no reason other than his own self centred wishes, a man who could no longer deny the way he was falling madly, deeply, irrevocably in love with a woman, well that man despised tonight’s plan.

The extravagant front entry of the target’s home was now within sight, multiple footmen waiting by to open the doors to arriving vehicles, welcoming guests and taking names. John knew you didn’t have much longer now before he’d have to let you go.

One of his hands snuck up to reach for yours, still laying as a delicately as a butterfly perched on his shoulder. His fingers gave yours a squeeze, thumb gently stroking the soft skin of your inner wrist.

While the thought of anyone other than him having the privilege of seeing you dressed up to the nines, getting to chat you up, putting his hands on you all under the guise of a respectable dance, got his blood boiling, he could never, would never ask you to go against your job.

Not for him, not for anyone. You were more than capable and had earned your position on this team. He wasn’t going to allow his rose tinted glasses to cloud his judgement, not even when the animalistic, testosterone raging, possessive side of him was pleading for the opposite.

“Well then your Captain’s orders, my dear,” he says in a low voice, stretching your hand far enough to plant a kiss onto it, unable to help himself really. “Are to knock ‘em dead. Not literally though, we do have questions for ‘im.”

You offered him a genuine smile, hearing the playfulness returning to his tone. Begrudgingly releasing your hand from his hold, John steered the car directly in front of the door, the heavy tint of the windows concealing him from any prying eyes.

“Sooner I’m in, sooner I’m out.” You reassured him. “Maybe I’ll have time to save you a dance.” You added at the end, catching his eye on final time, returning his nod subtle nod in the mirror just as your door was opened for you. As the footman offered you his hand, helping you out of the car and shutting the door behind you, John kept is gaze trained on you, not driving away until he saw you disappear through the doors, already counting down the seconds until he had you with him again.

A fake name given at the door, slightly modified version of the guest list having been slipped into the security’s grip earlier that evening, and you were allowed into the party without a second glance. Getting in was never going to be the challenging part of this operation. The challenge now was in spotting your target amongst the crowd.

Having decided the ballroom would likely be the best place to start, seeing as this was where the most people seemed to be gathering, you slowly strolled through the swarms of dresses and suits, wondering to yourself just how many of these people were involved in illegal affairs, and how many were feigning ignorance to their hosts choice of career.

Plucking a drink off the tray of a passing waiter, you brought the glass to your lips, taking the opportunity to more carefully glance through the many unknown faces. You manage to hide your grimace when a scratching noise comes through your earpiece for a moment, before a familiar Manchester accent crackles instead.

“Bravo 7 to Rookie. We’re in.” Ghost informs you. “Second floor. East wing. Guest room by the library.”

“We’ll cover the west side. Aim at taking the office on that end.” You’re less subtle at covering up the small gasp that slips from your mouth at the sound of John’s voice coming through the line. Clearing your throat, you take a small sip of whatever liquid you’ve grabbed, spotting another strolling waiter, sauntering over to her.

“Good, thank you.” You say, returning your still nearly full glass to her, speaking more in response to the men chatting in your ear than to the confused looking woman, who still smiles politely and takes the drink from you.

Knowing that the 141 are inside now, you go over the blueprints again in your mind, picturing where they are, taking a deep breath to steel yourself as you continue your search. Continuously bumping elbows with everyone gathered on the edges on the ballroom, yours and many others heads turn when a large group of gathered men all burst into uproarious laughter. Scanning the faces of the well-dressed guests, you nearly do a double take, eyes landing on the face you’ve spent countless hours memorizing.

Your target is stood there, one arm holding onto his friends shoulder as he continues to laugh in the way only rich men with no problems can. He and his friends are evidently intoxicated, each with a drink in hand, if not two. The man stood directly in front of him is telling the apparently hilarious story, hands waving about as he animatedly gestures, alcohol sloshing out of his glass.

An idea comes to mind, and you see your opportunity present itself before you on a golden platter. Slipping through the crowd, you come around the other side, so that you’re walking in your target’s direction, in his line of sight. You purposefully slow down your gait, running a hand through your hair carelessly, eyes gazing about the room absentmindedly, you even slightly push your chest out, catching the man’s eye just as you come close to walking past his friend.

The drunk man continues to flail his arms and spill his drink carelessly, larger and larger spills landing on the marble floor. It looks purely accidental to anyone watching when you attempt to walk by him, his arm knocking you off balance, and your heeled foot slipping on his spilled alcohol. Luckily, someone catches you before you fall to the ground, a few small gasps ringing out front the people around you who notice your fall.

“You alright ma’am?” You look up at the man who caught you, wearing what appears to be an embarrassed smile when in actually is your attempt to conceal your satisfied smirk, glancing up at none other than your target.

“Oh! Well, suppose I am better now.” You murmur with a small giggle tacked on at the end just for show. Based off the way this man’s eyes have yet to meet your face, gazing down only at your chest, you’re thinking this whole plan is about to be a lot easier than anyone anticipated.

“Sound like she’s made contact.” You hear Soap’s accent ring out through the earpiece.

Oh, right. They get to listen in on your interaction with the target thanks to the open comm line on your end. Good, in the sense that they’ll know which direction you’re headed in and will be ready, not so good, in the sense that John is about to overhear every word of your faux flirting.

“You’ll have to excuse my friend,” he finally breaks eye contact with your cleavage and pulls you up to stand, noticeably keeping his touch on you. “We were just cutting him off for the night, in fact, but are you sure you’re alright?”

He’s got one hand on your waist, the other is holding onto you elbow to steady you. You open your mouth to politely insist again that you’re okay, when he interrupts.

“Please, allow me to get you a drink. The very least I can do.” He implores, hardly waiting for your reply before he begins to lead you by the arm, in search of said refreshment.

“I don’t believe we’ve met before.” You say to him, batting your eyelashes at him when he offers you a glance.

“Trust me darling, I would remember meeting someone like you.” He doesn’t even attempt to hide the way he scans you up and down, ogling every bit of skin that your dress reveals, leaving you feeling exposed, though you hide any trace of discomfort behind a flirtatious facade.

“Someone like me?” You question coyly.

Your new friend walks you into an adjoining room where a bartender is mixing drinks for the dozens of people milling about the space. Sliding up to the edge of the bar, he leans against the bar top and signals to the man working.

“Certainly you must know how, appetizing you look this evening.” Your face does not betray the way his words make you groan internally, fighting not to roll your eyes. The bartender approaches, and as your target is distracted for a moment, you glance at the new space, spotting a staircase leading to the second floor not far around the corner. With how easy everything has been thus far, you wonder if you’re pushing your luck by trying to expedite the process even further.

As the target turns his attention back to you, beginning to introduce himself, you bring a hand to your forehead, interrupting him.

“I’m sorry, I’m starting to feel a bit dizzy actually.” You say, shaking your head when he sets the drinks down and goes to pull out a bar stool for you. “You wouldn’t know of anywhere you could help me sit down, would you?” You slowly reach a hand out, to stroke his hand. “Somewhere you could help me lay down, maybe?”

You watch the way his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows harshly, eyes widening slightly in surprise at your suggestion, before quickly turning to excitement.

“Lucky for you ma’am, I’m good friends with our host tonight.” He snakes an arm around your waist, drinks long forgotten, and you’re relieved when you see he’s leading you towards the very staircase you were hoping he would take. “I know just the place.”

“Are we allowed to go upstairs?” You giggle obnoxiously, letting your men know that you and the target are on the move.

“Copy. Target’s headed for second level.” Ghost acknowledges over the line. As you come to the top of the staircase, blueprints sprawling through your head to picture where your teammates are currently placed, you realize that against your better odds, he doesn’t try to lead you towards either the east or west wing.

“Like I said princess, you’re in good hands.” Instead of leading you towards the 141, your prince charming is supposedly headed towards the washroom at the top of the landing, exactly in the middle ground where your team could not go, due to the handful of security guards patrolling the hallways. You’ve no doubt that in each of the rooms that the men were waiting for you in, there likely lay a few injured guards that had been tasked with watching those unfortunate quarters.

You knew your luck was going to run out eventually, but now you had to think fast and on your feet. Sliding out of the man’s grasp, you took a step away from him, tracing a finger along the bannister in a way you hoped came across as seductive.

“I don’t know. I feel like maybe I’ve been a bit too easy on you.” You wink for added emphasis that you’re trying to toy with him now. “I don’t even know your name.”

“Nor do I know yours.” He tried to challenge, raising a brow at your behaviour, though still slowly stalking towards you, not yet willing to let you go. “We do not need names to be friends, do we?”

“How do I know what kind of man you are, hm?” You question him, continuing your slow walk backwards, eyes scanning the room and you realize you’re slinking towards the west wing. Price and Gaz. They said they would be in the office in the west wing. You just have to get him there.

“I did help you just now, did I not? I believe I am a good man. Let me show you how good I can be.”

“And if I wasn’t looking for a good man? What then, hm?” He halts momentarily in his steps as he continues to follow you in what he believes is a game of playful banter, foreplay if he’s lucky. You’ve spotted a total of three guards so far, though none of them are very near this moment. Making up your mind, you steady yourself as you say, “What if I wanted someone who would chase me?”

Still keeping him in sight, you quicken your pace, hoping that he really will gave chase to you, allowing you to lead him like a fly to a trap.

“Whatever the lady wants.” He humours you, following you when you break into a sprint without hesitation, hoping your memory is doing you justice and the door you’re headed towards is indeed the one concealing one half of the 141. The sound of both your pairs of footsteps echoing down the corridor, you’re gripping the door handle the moment it’s within reach, turning to glance over your shoulder, seeing your target is only a few paces behind you.

You shove the door open with your shoulder, and just as you’d planned in all those briefings, you enter the room, grip never leaving the door, allowing the target to follow you in, and shut the door behind you, revealing the two large men who’d been hiding behind it, now with guns trained on the man before them. Before he even realizes what’s happening, Price has got him knocked out cold, hitting him with the blunt end of his weapon, letting his body crumple to the ground where he falls unconscious on the spot.

You’re thinking up a clever response to say about how easy this mission has been, before either of them can beat you to it, when your earpieces all buzz apiece.

“Alpha 5 to Bravo 6. Over.”

“Go for Bravo.” Price replies, pressing his finger to his ear, stepping over the unconscious target to come closer to you. Gaz has crouched down, examining the target, preparing to restrain him for transport back to base.

“Guards saw a woman get chased by a man on the second floor. They’ve sent someone to check it out, you’ve got one headed your way now. Less than 30 seconds.”

At those words, the three of you are glancing at each other, before Price is already acting.

“Garrick, help me get his jacket off then get him out of sight.” He orders his sergeant, who without question begins assisting the captain in removing the target’s suit jacket, before dragging the unconscious man towards the window they had apparently entered from. To your utter bewilderment, Price’s fingers then begin working speedily at his own tactical vest, pulling it over his head and off of himself, tossing it in Gaz’s direction.

“What are you doing?” You ask him, half wondering if he’s forgotten you can’t actually read his mind. He’s continuing to pull weapons off of himself until there’s nothing left, leaving them with Gaz.

“Guards saw two people walk in here, then two people will walk out.” He says, slipping the man’s jacket on over his shoulders. Price’s shoulders are without a doubt wider and bulkier, the sit being too small, but it’s not so bad that he looks outright odd. “Trust me here, love.” He asks of you, receiving a nod from your part instantly.

All in the blink of an eye, Gaz has tossed the equipment out the open window, and is carrying the unconscious target over his shoulder as he slips out that same window and vanishes out of sight. The door to the room is being tossed open, and John is grabbing you with a force you haven’t personally felt from him before. One of his large hands is in your hair, the other is grabbing the fat of your ass, and he pulls you flush against his own body, sealing his warm lips to yours in a kiss so passionate, so needy, it knocks the breath out of you.

“Oy!” The guard shouts at you two. “Fuck are you twos doing up here?”

“Sorry ‘bout that, mate.” John breaks the kiss, before he answers apologetically, holding a single hand up in peace, the other keeping its tight grip on your behind. “The missus got a little eager. We’ll get going, don’t mean to be any trouble.”

Playing the part of a couple nearly caught in the act, John takes ahold of your hand and keeps his head ducked as he quickly leads you towards the door. You squeak out your own bashful ‘Sorry!’ as you step past the man, following along with John in your feigned shame at being caught. Your mind was absolutely reeling with all the adrenaline of the last five minutes coursing through your veins, your captain holding you against his muscled body being at the top of your list.

“Now hold on just a minute-” the guard tries to shout after you both, taking notice of John’s unusual appearance compared to the other well dressed men walking about, but the pair of you are hurriedly making your way towards your escape.

“Stay with me now.” Price gave your hand a reassuring squeeze as he keeps a steady pace down the hall, headed for the staircase, intent on making a swift exit.

“Bravo 6 to Bravo 7. Slight change o’ plans. Garrick’s got our target. Help ‘em get to the rendezvous point and Rookie and I’ll meet you there.” John hurriedly mumbles under his breath, placing a steadying hand on the small of your back as you begin to descend the steps.

“Copy. Out here.” The Lieutenant replies diligently.

“Nicely done, Rookie. Think that’s record time.” You hear Soap’s playful tone come through the earpiece.

“We’re not clear yet, Sergeant. Stay alert.” Price tells him as you both land back on the bottom step. With the guards now on higher alert, one likely still hot on your heels, you need to blend back in with the crowd before sneaking your way towards the first convenient exit, still keen on avoiding drawing any further attention to yourselves. With all the confidence in the world, your captains steady hand leads you back through the bar and into the still crowded ballroom, musicians instruments playing with an much enthusiasm as they had before.

John’s keen eyes spot the handful of security patrolling the room with their gazes scanning the crowd. Turning to face you now, John brings your clasped hands up higher, placing your free hand on his shoulder before landing his own palm on the small of your waist.

“John, what are we-” Your words are cut off as you recognize he’s placed you both in the familiar position for a waltz, your eyes looking up into his own with questions unspoken.

“Follow my lead.” He whispers to you so softly that you nearly miss it with the sound of the music picking back up. You don’t even need to answer him before your body is instinctually doing just that, following his lead as he begins to softly move to the beat of the song.

Your eyes never break apart from one another, gazes locked in their own private choreographed moment as the captain smoothly dances with you from one end of the room to the other, going unnoticed amongst the swarms of other dancing couples. His hold on you is searing hot, sending sparks shooting though every nerve receptor he touches. He’s feeling just as affected by you, his heart hammering in his chest so strongly he’s certain you must be able to feel it against your own sternum.

Spinning you close enough to the edge of the ballroom that the front entry is once again in sight, John needs only cast a glance to the door for you to understand his message, gripping your clasped hands tighter together. You offer him a small smile and nod in agreement, letting him know that yes, you’ll follow him anywhere.

“You should be sleeping. Sun’ll be up soon.”

You’re holding a steaming cup of tea in hand, one hand on your hip with a look on your face that says ‘Really?’ pointed at your captain who has yet to leave his office since you’d all returned from the mission hours ago. You slowly approach his desk, your feet eternally thankful for the comfort of your boots over the heels you’d ripped off. In the time since you’ve returned to base, the target’s been secured, you were all dismissed for the night as well as the following day, considering it already was the early morning hours of the next day. You’d combed your hair out of his hair sprayed style, wiped all traces of makeup off your face, intent on following your captain’s orders and making your way to bed.

“I won’t even bother telling you the same. Both know you wouldn’t listen.” You set the mug down on his desk for him, your hand lingering along the surface of the wooden top.

“Thank you.” He smiles gratefully up at you from his seat, genuinely appreciative of your thoughtful gesture at this late hour. “Though, think I’ve heard the lads arguin’ once or twice ‘bout how you’re the only one I do listen to.” John’s smile widens as he notices the faint blush creeping along the apples of your cheeks.

“Well,” you playfully rolls your eyes at his comment, coming to step nearer to the broad man, turning slowly to present him with the back of your dress.“Help me out of this thing would you? So I can actually get some sleep.”

The black of your dress is open down to the middle of your back, where a short zipper begins. You don’t need any help with it, you’d been able to put it on without issue before the mission. However as you stood in your room, preparing to take off the garment, you couldn’t erase the image in your mind of John’s eyes landing on your figure as he hungrily took in your appearance. You couldn’t forget the feeling of his wide hands holding you against him, pressing every inch of his muscled physique to yours, lips desperate to chase the taste of your mouth.

Your heated thoughts brought you to the small kitchenette in search of a glass of water to cool yourself down, however as your eyes landed on the kettle, and your thoughts continued to swarm your head, you’d begun heating up your Captain’s tea and walking in direction of his office before you’d been able to convince yourself it wasn’t a good idea.

Now, peering over your shoulder to see John’s face as he takes in the expanse of exposed skin displayed before him, his breath catching in his throat, grip tightening on his pen in hand, you’re certain this was an excellent idea.

Taking a deep steadying breath through his flared nostrils, John’s eyes meet yours, a playful mischief hidden behind his gaze as you recognize that he’s just as well aware you can undo your dress without his help, without his hands to assist you, but still taking the bait you offer him. Part of John’s chest had swelled up with pride when you’d led the target to him and Gaz earlier tonight, even knowing that the odds had been 50/50 depending which direction the target went towards. He’d only been more than happy to oblige when you, the cunning little spider, lead her fly into the trap of her web, and broke the bastard’s nose as if you’d served him up on a platter.

He feels almost similar now, a bug being led into your sticky trap, watching you dangle the enticing bait in front of him that could lead to his ultimate demise, his unavoidable detriment. Though from the look in his eyes, it seems more likely that John is the one intent on devouring you whole tonight. His throat bobs as he swallows, spinning his chair to face you better, hands twitching for a moment before he brings them to trace the edge of the fabric where your dress meets your bare skin.

Your own breath comes out as a soft gasp as the feeling of his digits teasing along your back, the warmth emanating from his touch a thousand times hotter than the blood pooling in your face. You can feel his hot breath fan across your skin, just as his fingers bring themselves to grip your zipper firmly. Achingly slow, dragging the process out as if to torture you, John inches the zipper down at a pace only a hardened military man could maintain when face to face with more and more of your bare body appearing before his eyes.

The both of you are now holding your breaths as he finally drags the last of the zipper open, his fingers now grazing the top of your ass. You hear him let out a deep sigh, before his hands are sliding along the smooth material of your dress, the chair creaking beneath him as he comes to stand behind you. His hands tease along your skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake as his digits skim higher and higher up your back until he reaches your shoulders.

You can feel every inch of him pressed up against you from behind, his body emanating heat like a furnace. But more noticeably, you can feel his rock hard member through his slacks pressing up against the swell of your ass.

“You know how proud you made me today, hm?” He asks softly, before pressing a kiss to your temple. You feel hardly in control when your eyes flutter shut, leaning back to put your full weight against him, letting him embrace you like this. He brings his mouth lower to kiss your reddened cheek, your neck, behind your ear. “Had the muppet in the palm of your hand soon as he laid eyes on ya.” His warm breath is fanning across your skin, rolling your neck to the side to allow him better access.

“And who could fuckin’ blame him?” He nearly growls, slipping one of the thin straps of your dress off your shoulder, allowing it to fall down your arm, his palm now coming to land on your exposed, bare waist, fingers spreading wide as he takes in your softness. Your eyes open as you feel a finger stroking your cheek, tilting your face to meet his, his shining blue orbs, glazed over in obvious desire, asking what he dare not speak out loud. You nod all too eagerly, telling him everything he needs to know.

John’s hand is sliding away from your cheek, fingers dancing across your shoulders as he gently tugs at the final strap holding your dress up, the tension that has been building and heating between the two of you for far too long now coming to a head. As the fabric falls from your figure and pools at your feet, leaving you bare before your captain, wearing nothing more but the necklace he’d put on you only so many hours earlier. John wastes no time in pulling your lips to his, curious hands exploring the expanse of your skin as you practically melt into his touch.

His large hands are squeezing your waist, your hips, one hand is reaching to grab ahold of your breast, fingers teasing your sensitive nipple. He hears you try to hold back a small moan, and he thinks you’re the sweetest thing in the world. Believing that you can hold back any of your delicious sounds from him. In the blink of an eye, John is turning you around, clearing everything off his desk in quick swoop of his arm, before lifting you up by your thighs and seating you atop his desk.

“Now, gorgeous,” he says almost sternly, putting on a faux captain voice, though he’s certainly never sounded quite so lustful over comms before. “That’s the first and the last time that I ever want to hear you try and keep a single one of your pretty little noises from me. Understood?”

You’re nearly panting you’re breathing so hard, watching as John pulls his chair up and takes a seat in front of you, his hands coming to pull your legs further apart until his shoulders are between them your thighs, your face going beet red as his own head is merely inches from your bare, completely soaked folds. In reality, you had been dripping down your thighs since you’d walked into his office with nothing underneath your dress.

“Seeing as you did such a good job tonight however,” he adds, fingers massaging the soft skin beneath his touch. “and considering you never even gave the bastard a chance to ask you to dance,” his gaze locks with yours at that, his eyes communicating the sentiment behind his words. “Lettin’ your old captain steal a one from ya,” his mouth comes to plant a kiss on your thigh, then another, and another, working closer to your centre. “Suppose you deserve a reward.”

Your moan would be embarrassing if the feeling of his warm lips sucking your clit wasn’t so heavenly. He spreads you open, tongue working at your sensitive bud with a fervour only a starving man could match. He is starved for you, has been since he’s met you and now that he’s tasting you, he doesn’t know how he’s survived without it. He can’t decide which is sweeter, your taste or the noises you make, so responsive to his touch, as if you were an instrument he’d memorized the most beautiful melodies to.

As his tongue continues to work feverishly at your nub, one of his fingers comes to tease your throbbing hole. His digit slowly slips in until he reaches his knuckle, slipping back out, wasting no time before slipping in a second, earning a lustful gasp from above him. Your hands are threaded in his hair, trying not to rock against him, but quickly losing grip of your self control, as he brings you closer and closer to that peak.

His two fingers begin to curl inside you, searching for that soft, sweet spot that has you seeing stars when he reaches it with his long, skilled digits. Your thighs are beginning to shake, one of his hands coming to steady you, but never dropping his pace, as his tongue and fingers work in tandem to bring you to that crest.

“Come on sweetheart,” he mumbles into you, his voice barely reaching your ears over the sounds of your own pleasure. “Give it to me. I’ve got ya, cum for your captain. Give me a good one.” Before he’s reattaching his lips to your wet folds, attacking your clit with renewed vigour.

John clamps a hand over your mouth just in time to muffle your scream as you cum all over his hand and mouth, soaking his beard with your arousal, his movements never slowing down until you’re pushing his head away from you, unable to take any more of the intense pleasure having you seeing stars. The both of you are panting now, as he slips his hand away from your mouth and around to the back of your neck, standing to his full height before you. He’s memorizing the look on your face at this moment, the glazed expression over your features, eyes gazing longingly into his as though you’re the only two people on this base, maybe the world. Fuck, how he wishes he could give you the world.

He brings his lips to yours, caught up in his undeniable feelings for you, going much, much further than simple attraction. Yet he’s having a hard time thinking very hard about that, or anything at the moment, when you’re kissing him back with the same intensity, one of your hands sneaking down his torso, reaching for the front of his trousers.

John can’t help the deep groan that comes up his throat at the feeling of your hand wrapping around him through the fabric of his pants. All too eagerly, he’s fumbling with the buckle of his belt, never letting your lips separate from his. Practically ripping the belt out of its place, he tosses it aside, feeling your deft fingers quickly pulling at his zipper, glancing up to meet his eyes when your fingers creep along the edge of his boxers underneath.

He gives you a single, confident nod, torn between rolling his head back in pleasure and keeping his eyes locked on your every expression as you tug down his trousers and underwear together, freeing his aching cock. His member springs to life, precum beading at his red, swollen tip.

“John…” you murmur as you size up his cock, excited and equally concerned about his impressive length.

“I know love,” he says, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “We’ll make it fit.”

You spread your thighs wider, arms coming to wrap around John’s shoulders as he lines his cock up with your entrance, already groaning at the feeling of his head touching your warm, wet folds. The both of you gasp as he slips his tip inside you, foreheads pressed together, as one of his hands tenderly holds the back of your head, fingers threaded through your locks while the other wraps around your back to squeeze your hip, holding you close to him.

Inch by inch, John rolls his hips forward and back, taking his sweet, sweet time in discovering the bliss that is being inside of you, wrapped around you, simply being with you, until he’s filled you up entirely to his base, hairs at the base of his groin coming to rub against your already sensitive clit, creating a delicious friction that you know will have you finishing quickly already.

“Fuckin’ hell, sweetheart,” he groans out, rolling his hips back, earning a pleased moan from your lips as he rocks forward again, filling you completely. “Gonna be the death of me.”

You haven’t a single functioning brain cell left to answer him, and he knows it, your continuously flowing arousal seeping down between where the two of you are joined, echoing sinful sounds throughout the small room. As if your moans wouldn’t be evidence enough as to what was happening in Captain Price’s office, should anyone walk by. Keeping a steady pace, the captain fucks you against his desk relentlessly, earning more and more of those very noises from your lips.

“Oh my god, John! Oh fuck! John!” Hearing you, John feels like he’s about to burst. He hasn’t cum in ages, and he’s been so hard for so long now, he doesn’t think he can hold back much longer. Not when he’s hearing you whimpering his name so sweetly, not when you feel as incredible as you do wrapped around him like this, squeezing him so tight. He’s pressing hot, open mouth kisses against your neck, your collarbone, any skin his lips can reach.

“Love,” John grits out through a clenched jaw, holding himself back as best he can as he continues to move with you, bodies rocking back and forth as if in their own choreographed dance. “Where can I- where do you want me to-”

“Inside!” You plead wrapping your legs tighter around his waist. “Inside John, please! I’m- oh fuck!” You say as he delivers another deep thrust. “On the pill. I’m on the pill.”

John needs no further permission, his cock continuing to hit that sweet, sensitive spot inside of you, that has your eyes rolling back in please. Just as his fingers reach between your two bodies to press against you throbbing clit, you moan out his name, reaching your blissful peak for the second time tonight, all at your Captain’s doing. John groans out, feeling himself begin to burst, holding his hips against yours.

“Fuck!” He shoots thick, hot ropes of his spend deep into you, his member twitching inside. “I got you love.” He talks you through both your cresting orgasms, grinding impossibly further into you, never letting go of the tight hold he has around you. “I’m with you, love. Right with you.”

Later on, as he walks you back to your room, insisting he has to see you make it there safely even though it’s technically become so ‘late’ that some of the early risers are awake by now, John asks:

“You did have panties on under the dress durin’ the mission though, right?”

If you’ve made it to the end of my first ever completed series, then thank you for making it this far!

I felt very bleh about the ‘mission’ part of writing this but hopefully my first ever attempt at legitimate smut made up for it!

This is the end of this little three part series, but I’ve got some more Price fics lined up for sure

I know I said it in the initial disclaimer but seriously y’all, wrap it before you tap it, fan fiction is fiction, pregnancy and STDs are real, use protection! (But like me, read all the filthy, filthy fics your heart desires)

-M 🫶🏻

[darksigns-exe]

you live in my dream state - matt dierkes x f!reader

word count: 1.3k

warnings: swearing, unprotected intercourse

The disappointment on Matt’s face is obvious when you break the news. You hate having to tell him that you won’t be able to make it out to meet him after all. And you have to fight to keep your composure so that you won’t give your surprise away just yet.

Because you will be able to make it, but he doesn’t need to know that yet. You’ve made an elaborate plan, roping the band into your shenanigans too to make sure that you can have enough time with your boyfriend as possible. You’ve been able to work out a day when they won’t have to travel, and Nick assured you that they’d try to take whatever they could off his shoulders for the day so that you’d be able to whisk him away as soon as the show ends.

He lets out a heavy sigh, eyes down cast to where his fingers drum against the table.

“I just miss you a lot. It’s been almost a month.”

He’s always soft like this when it’s just the two of you, but seeing him look so downtrodden breaks your heart a little, and you almost tell him that you’ll be there. Thankfully, something else demands is attention, and you don’t have to spill your secret just yet.

A few days later, you find yourself marching through an airport in a city you will barely get to see. Matt had been texting you all morning, and you’d fought with yourself the entire time. It won’t be long until you see him, though.

Once you’re checked into your hotel, you can head out to the venue to surprise Matt. You give yourself a little bit of time to freshen up before you head out again. The hotel you’re staying in for the night is only a short drive away from the venue, so you’re not exactly in a rush. You’re planning to surprise him towards the end of the band's set so that neither of you will have to wait long to get a little privacy. With your name on the guest list, you don’t have to worry about getting there on time. You’re not planning to fight your way to the front of the crowd, either, so you join the queue when it’s long started to move. By the time you’re in front of the security person, you’re feeling more than a little nervous. Yes, you’re excited to see him, but you’re also nervous for his reaction.

You spend most of the time before the band's set starts in a corner on the balcony, hoping that Matt won’t see you just yet. From the spot you’ve found you have a fairly unobstructed view of the sound desk and with that of Matt. You watch him type into his phone and to your surprise, a text from him pops up on your phone.

You sure that I can’t convince you to quit that job? Your boss is a dick anyway.

You smile at his effort, and you’re almost tempted to send him a picture of your view in return. You swallow the urge down, though. You know that Matt isn’t entirely serious, he knows that you like your job, even when it makes your relationship a little bit difficult at times. What he doesn’t know, though, is that you’ve been negotiating for more remote hours so that you’d be able to visit a little more often – or at all for that matter.

aw are you missing me?

Maybe. Don’t get cocky about it though.

Your back and forth continues until he tells you that the show is about to start. You watch as he gets to work when the lights dim. It’s not often that you get to watch him work like this. Usually, you’re somewhere on the side of the stage watching the band rather than him. It’s a nice change to actually see him for once.

When the set is nearing its end, you make your way down from the balcony. You wait until the credits roll across the screens before you send your next text.

How long do you have left?

Fifteen? Twenty? I can call in an hour.

His reply comes almost immediately, and it makes you feel all warm inside.

Shame. I spent hours on a plane just for you to make me wait another hour?

You watch as his head snaps into one then the other direction, before he finally turns around. He skips past you initially, but then quickly finds you again. For a moment, he’s stuck on the spot and when he finally snaps out of it he’s in front of you before you have time to compute the movements. He wraps you up in his arms, holding you close against his body. His hands find the sides of your face, pulling you in for a kiss.

“You’re here.” he mumbles eventually, his voice barely breaking through the noise of the crowd.

“Surprise.” you offer in response.

His chest rumbles with laughter, and you know that that pretty smile of his is plastered across his face, even if you can’t see it. He holds you close for a moment longer, before he pulls away, pressing another kiss to your lips.

“Give me twenty to get things in order here. We have to be out of this venue in –”

“I talked to the guys ahead of time. As of two minutes ago, you’re officially off work.” you announce proudly.

It takes Matt a moment to compute what you’ve said. When he does, he pulls you in for another kiss.

You find yourself giggling as he announces that he’s out for the evening over the radio. His eagerness is endearing. Usually, this is something that’s reserved for your eyes only.

Matt is surprisingly quiet while you drive back to the hotel. You think that it’s a mixture of exhaustion from the previous few days and him trying to keep his composure. You keep your hands firm on the steering wheel to stop yourself from steering the both of you into a ditch. The sooner you reach the hotel the better.

His body covers yours entirely. Your hands dig into his back, nails scraping against your skin as he grinds into you. It’s slow, indulgent. The slow drag of his cock against your walls makes you gasp in pleasure. Matt’s face is pressed into the crook of your neck, his breath hot on your skin. His hips barely part from yours as he grinds into you. You should be used to this kind of reunion by now. It always goes like this. He’s barely through the door before his lips find yours, and you’re tearing the clothes off the other's back. And it always starts desperate and rough, but once he’s close and settled against you, the mood changes entirely. The hands tearing at his shirt instead turn to a gentle rediscovery of the man hovering above you.

You’re sinking deeper and deeper into that dizzy feeling. Every breath that you draw comes out as a breathless gasp. It all feels so dreamy, so dizzying, and you’re not sure that you remember where you end and he begins. You can’t tell how much time passes until he spills his release across your tummy. Your own release comes a moment later when he buries his face between your thighs and his fingers in your pussy.

You know that this won’t be the last encounter you’ll share during this visit. You’re just as set on using every minute of the limited time. For now though you’re safely wrapped up in his arms. You’re not afraid of admitting it, but you’ve missed him terribly. It never gets easier, regardless of what you tell yourself when his departure comes closer.

The slow thump of his heart threatens to lull you to sleep, but you still have something important to say. You can’t sleep yet, you tell yourself. Not before you tell him. But when you shift to look at him, you find Matt fast asleep already. And so, instead of telling him that you’ll be able to visit more often from now on, you press a kiss to his sternum and settle yourself against him.

It can wait until morning.

taglist: @deathblacksmoke @circle-with-me @sitkowski @ladyveronikawrites @baddestomens

[jerich0l0ve]

Tour Ticket Woes

This is just a funny little thing idea I had in my head after the Sleep Token presale . And yes, I finally remembered my password to Tumblr once again! It's written for Noah Sebastian but there's not a ton of mentions of the partner throughout.

CW: Some language, anxiety inducing, a little fluff

Topic: Noah x Reader

"Goddammit!" You screamed as you frantically tried to purchase tickets to the most anticipated tour of the year for your favorite band.

The queue just opened, and low and behold you were 14,567 for a 15k cap venue. Not to mention the fact that your presale code was never sent to you via email the way it should have been. You had to contact your brother, sister, and mother in order to receive a code. You made them all sign up just in case, thank goodness you sometimes let anxiety run your life.

Your boyfriend, Noah, strolled into the small office you set up in the smallest bedroom of your new house. A small smirk on his face as he gazed down at you hunched over your laptop.

Working in the industry, Noah knew just how intense obtaining tour tickets could be for more popular artists these days. He could pull any string with the newfound fame he had after The Death of Peace of Mind, get you on any guest list you wanted.

But you preferred the adrenaline of the hunger games of ticket purchasing somehow.

Of course, Noah already guest listed you at the concert anyways in the off chance you couldn't get the tickets fast enough. He would surprise you with them at dinner in a few days, but for now he would allow you to try and do it on your own.

"Could this little man walk any slower?" You questioned with a frustrated huff.

Noah chuckled, approaching you before he stopped to peer over your shoulder, "What little man?"

You forcefully pointed at the little figure walking in place as you waited in the queue, "This dude! He's not moving the way I need him to."

Noah looked at the number: 9,435.

"Well, I'm sure he will move soon. All you can do is wait," Noah placed a hand on your shoulder. He knew there would be immediate disappointment if you did not get these tickets.

You had been following this band since they were younger, newer to the scene. They exploded quickly and the high demand for tickets worried you every year they came back to LA for tour. And they only grew bigger and bigger. Soon it would be a luxury to see them.

"If I wait any longer, I am going to not only sweat through my deodorant but potentially my clothes too," you let out another short sigh, perking up when the little man moved a few centimeters forward.

6,767.

"As long as your celebration involves a shower afterwards," Noah wrinkled his nose earning a small slap to the stomach.

"You know I can't help it. My body doesn't understand the difference between buying tour tickets and being held at gunpoint," you looked up into his deep brown eyes.

You both smiled softly at one another, when movement caught the corner of your eyes.

2,341.

"We are in the home stretch now," you leaned forward, hunching closer to the screen to see. You forgot your glasses downstairs but it was imperative to stay glued to the screen now.

389.

"You have the security code for the credit card?" Noah asked, his voice stressed as he leaned closer to the screen as well.

"Of course I do... I have it memorized!" You grabbed the computer mouse and wiggled it to keep the screen awake.

The little man moved almost to the end of the loading bar, bells rang out from the screen causing a small jump from you and your boyfriend.

It was go time.

The screen reloaded, a small box appeared for the presale code once again. You copy and pasted from the computer screen sticky note, your hands shaking slightly.

Once you entered, the arena map began to load. The room was completely silent as the sections highlighted in blues and grays, blue for the available tickets and gray for the sold out sections.

You clicked one section, the tickets quickly depleting any time you tried to click. You moved to the next one, got tickets in your cart, and then hit proceed only to be met with a message saying they were gone.

"Come On!" You yelled as you moved to two more sections, with no luck in grabbing a pair.

Noah's breath tickled your ear, you moved to the upper bowls only to be met with a new message saying the show was sold out.

The feeling of defeat washed over your body, once shaking with adrenaline now shook with small sobs as you realized the tickets were gone. You could try for the general sale but the chances were really slim. And resale was so ridiculous you didn't want to waste the money.

Noah kissed your cheek and silently walked away, knowing you preferred space when you felt disappointed. A few tears made their way down your cheek as you closed the browser tab out.

You had seen the band quite a few times, though not seeing them for the first time ever made your heart feel raw. You should feel fortunate and lucky to have watched them grow, other fans should have the opportunity to experience them live too. But it still hurt.

Your phone buzzed, a text from Noah appeared on the screen. You grabbed it and unlocked the phone, met with a, "Noah transferred two tickets to you", link to Ticketmaster.

You clicked on it, two tickets to the band appearing in your account on the app for the LA show.

God you loved that man so much.

:)

[canonical-transformation]

I tried something different over the last day, which is to take a leaf from @dandelion-wings's book and write something self-indulgent as a "warm-up" — no intention of actually finishing let alone having a plan, just writing for the sake of having fun writing.

It was nice! Would probably do again!

--------

(CW: modern AU)

The oversight committee meeting ran on agenda and on time, an unlikelihood bordering on miraculous. At one-forty in the afternoon Sara found herself with a clear schedule for the rest of the week, modulo a couple of videocalls she didn't need to be in the office for anyway. She wasn't the only one: the queue for the lift was so long, walking twelve flights down the stairwell actually saved her time.

She took a minute at ground level to stretch out her arms, then headed for the station, grabbing some onigiri on her way in. On the train she pulled up the grocery list app she shared with her housemates and committed the urgent bits to memory. She had a route planned by the time she got to the supermarket, and was in and out with satisfying efficiency.

Arriving outside the apartment, Sara fished her keys out of her bag. She was just putting key to lock when the door opened on its own, just a few centimetres.

Kokomi was there, peering through the gap. She was in one of her usual outfits, a wine red cardigan tossed over a button-up blouse and knee-length skirt.

"Sara," she said. She blinked rapidly. "You're home."

Kokomi sounded a little out of breath. Sara looked her up and down: her face was pale, and she was swaying on her feet a little. Dizzy spell, no doubt.

"Did you just run all the way to the door?" Sara asked.

Kokomi grimaced sheepishly. "Um. Maybe?" She gripped the door frame and used it to lower herself to her knees. Sara nudged at the door, but Kokomi put her shoulder in the way. "We have a guest," she continued, looking frantic.

"Alright?" said Sara. Not the sort of thing worth rushing to the door for. "And...?"

"Please don't freak out."

Sara's heart sank. "My folks?"

"No, no, nothing like that." Kokomi waved her hand. The motion left her swaying a little. "Sara, she's me."

"Who's you?"

"Inside. Um... she looks like me, at least?"

"Who does?"

"Me. Not me. A doppelganger, kind of? It's... I haven't had time..."

She looked to be at a loss for words. Sara didn't think she'd ever seen Kokomi at a loss for words. Half-fainting, struggling to spare the oxygen for another sentence? Sure. Drunk, communicating only in polysyllabic nounifications, interspersed with emphatic gestures? Definitely. Trying to hum at whales in the aquarium? Even that. But lost for words? Never. The Sangonomiya Kokomi that Sara knew had an answer for anything: more frustratingly still, she had a reasonable answer for anything. She could make a calculation that took her a month and twenty spreadsheets sound so obvious you should have thought of it yourself. She could give a half hour tactical breakdown on an split second impulse purchase of Cinnamoroll pajamas instead of the Hello Kitty ones she'd walked into the store meaning to buy. Her apologies were a balance of contrite, firm, and empathetic that must have been formulated in a military lab somewhere; her sorry-not-sorry excuses were the kind of legally-minefield-dodging emotionally-expressive bullshit that PR executives salivated over.

Kokomi was still rambling. "Like... it's me from another timeline? I haven't had time to make sure, I've been buried in meetings all morning."

Sara hefted the ten kilos of groceries pointedly. "Kokomi, can I come in or not?"

"Fuck." Kokomi bit her lip, then shuffled to the side. "Don't freak out, please?" she said as Sara nudged the door open.

Honestly. As if anyone had ever freaked out less from hearing that.

There was a woman sitting on the couch, in a mermaid costume for some reason, hands clasped timidly in her lap. Her eyes widened upon seeing Sara.

She looked a lot like— no, she looked exactly like Kokomi. She had the same wispy peach hair, the same wide, fog-blue eyes, the same button nose, the same curve of the jaw. Her skin was a little more sunkissed; the hollows of her cheeks, a touch gaunt... but that was Kokomi in cosplay sitting on the couch. Or it would be, if Sara wasn't still manoeuvring past the real Kokomi, who in her POTS'd state had arranged herself in a lump on the floor with her feet up on the wall, the final boss of apartment door tripping hazards.

The words that came out of Sara's mouth were: "Well, that's surreal."

Across the apartment, on the couch, the lookalike's lips moved soundlessly. A moment later, next to Sara's ankle, the real Kokomi murmured, "It really is," which probably wasn't meant as a lipread but worked pretty well as one.

"Hi," Sara said, addressing the lookalike. "I am Sara, Kokomi's housemate." Miraculously, she'd made it over Kokomi without the grocery bags hitting her. She set them down in front of the fridge and began transferring.

"Hi," said the lookalike, "I am Sangonomiya Kokomi... um, but just Kokomi is fine."

Fucking hell, she sounded just the same, too.

"So what's the deal? Are you here from the future to warn us about the AI wars?"

"No," the lookalike replied. She pursed her lips the same way Kokomi always did when she felt the need to be precise, and added: "I suppose I could be from the future? But I strongly suspect I'm from a different world altogether."

There wasn't enough room in the front door to fit both the kewpie and the fish sauce, no matter how much she moved the smaller bottles around. Sara eyed the three nearly-finished carafes of iced tea with displeasure. Would Ayaka notice if she just mixed the two green teas together?

"It's the worst," Kokomi complained. She'd risen to a kneeling position. "She's not future me, she's not past me. My time traveller protocols are wasted here! She's not even a teleporter clone, we have no common history..."

"Back up," said Sara. "Time traveller protocols?" And while she was at it: "Why is there an empty soba sauce in here?"

"Technically there's a few drops left," said Kokomi. "And, come on, time traveller protocols! Surely you've heard of those. In case some old lady turns up saying she's you from the future. I have a secret code phrase that only the real me would know. Something similar for if I meet my past self: a secret they've never told anybody. I have one for four year old me, and one for seven year old me."

Sara snorted. "You realise how ridiculous that sounds, right?"

"It seems reasonable to me," said the Kokomi lookalike on the couch.

"It's a contingency plan, Sara," said the real Kokomi with fond exasperation. "I don't go around expecting time travellers. I came up with my time traveller protocols during recess when I was ten, it took me a few minutes. It doesn't cost me anything to have the protocol. Same goes for the Paycheck and Severance protocols—"

"What's that?" interrupted the lookalike.

"For if I have an alter I don't share any memories with, just the body. There's two protocols, for one-way and two-way communication. With variations for whether either side is under duress."

"Makes sense."

"That is such a you thing to think about," said Sara.

"I'll take that as a compliment," said Kokomi, who was slowly getting to her feet. "Contingency plans! They're cheap to have, and you never know when you might get kidnapped by mind-reading aliens. Or maybe you get hit with amnesia gas and need to leave yourself a message, fast. Or you get trapped in a time loop. I mean, come on, everyone has a plan for a time loop."

"Mm," said the lookalike. "Or maybe you have to prove you haven't been replaced by a doppelganger."

"Exactly!"

"I actually got to use my doppelganger protocol once. I whispered the code phrase and everything."

"Seriously?" said Kokomi, with a hitch in her voice Sara recognised as seething jealousy.

The lookalike preened a little. "Seriously."

[asmutwriter]

The Gangsta's Wife (Part 13)

DESCRIPTION: You have a bad dream. Tommy comforts you

WORD COUNT: 2313

From Beginning / Previous / Next / Master List  

WARNINGS: nightmares, fluff, talk of children, talk of death, swearing

DISCLAIMERS

This is fiction. Please always talk to your partner before doing anything and make sure they are ok with what you are doing beforehand

This story does not follow the timeline of the show

You eat food with your hosts. Talking and chatting with them into the early hours of the morning in fact. Going from small talk to in-depth conversations to business. You hear the distant chime of a clock. Midnight. Ben insists that you all must have one more drink before bed. Pouring the four of you iced whiskey. Soon you hear the clock again. This time signalling the quick coming of 1am. The four of you saying that you must depart but somehow being dragged into another hours worth of conversation. Once again the clock chimes. 2am.

"I think that is our queue to go to bed". Ruth says. Smiling at you and Thomas before moving her glance to her husband. "Our poor guests haven't said they'll stay the night just so you can talk their ears off". Ben rolls his eyes. A sarcastic and loving smile on his lips as he looks at his wife. "Come on". She stands. Going over to him. Outstretching her hands as she gently pulls him upwards. "Or another hour will pass and soon it'll be breafast". She takes his hand. Looking at you and Thomas. "Do you need help finding your room?". You shake your head and smile.

"No. Thank you. Your maid showed us where it was earlier. Up the stairs. Turn left. First door". You speak confidently but with a slight twinge for clarification on the directions. She smiles and nods.

"Thats the one. I bid you two goodnight". She smiles. Dragging Ben out. You look at your husband as you both remain sat. Taking in a breath. Hitting your hands onto your lap before standing up. Looking at him as you smile sweetly.

"Shall we head to bed?". He stands. Following you to the bedroom. Both of you staying silent as you get dressed for bed. Getting under the soft blanketting. Shutting your eyes as you try and let sleep overtake you.

You run to the door. Looking inside through the glass pane in the wooden frame. You see Charlie. You scream and try and open the door. A faceless figure comes over. Picking your son up. You cry out his name. Hitting the door frame as you try and open the door knob. Watching as the figure takes your child away.

You startle awake. Cheeks covered in silent tears as your bad dream lingers on your mind. Sitting up. Turning your head as you look at Thomas. Sleeping soundly next to you. You run a shakey hand through your hair. Shifting your weight as to not disturb your sleeping husband as you come out from under the covers. Standing up as you go over to the window. Sitting down into the small alcove bit. Looking over the expense of garden. You bring your knees up. Resting your hands onto them as you fiddle with your wedding ring. Hands juddery as you try and calm your nerves. Eyes flicking as you try and focus on the moon and stars outside the window.

Hearing a noise you turn your head swiftly. His blue eyes almost illuating in the darkness of the room. Your husband now sitting up. Watching you. You give a weary smile at him. Leaning your head back against the wall. "Did I wake you?" you whisper. Seeing him shake his head. "Good". You take in a breath. Turning back to look out the window. His voice carries through the room.

"Are you missing your sisters?". You nod your head. Looking downward at your quivering hands. Clenching them onto your knees.

"I mostly miss Charlie. I’ve never been away from him". You hear movement. A few seconds pass as your husband comes and sits the other side of the window. Also looking out at the view.

"He'll be ok Flo. He’s in good hands". You nod. Pushing your lips together as you try and calm your mind.

"I know. I trust Ada and Betty with him completely. But that doesnt help the anxiety". He moves his head. Feeling his eyes on you. You pay him no mind. Instead watching the dancing of moonlight on the short grass. You bring a hand up from your knee. Resting it on the side of your neck. His eyes fall to your nervous hand. Although you try and hide it by quickly placing both of them firmly into your lap. Clasping them together. He stands. Your attention gets drawn to him.

"Stand up". You look up at him. A confused look coming over your lips.

"What?"

"Stand. Now". You do as he asks. Uncurling your legs as you stand before him. Smoothing down your nightdress as you meet his gaze. He holds a hand out towards you. Your eyes go to the hand before going back up to his blue orbs. Placing your palm into his. He brings you close. His other hand resting onto your hip as you place yours onto his shoulder. He starts dancing with you. Swaying the both of you softly.

"There's no music playing Tommy". Smiling at him. His mouth cocks into a small smile.

"You don't want me to start singing". You let out a soft laugh. Meeting his eyes as he smiles at you. Taking in a breath as your eyes dance over his face. Starting to sing quietly.

“Lavanders blue dilly dilly lavenders green. When I am king dilly dilly you shall be queen.

Who told you so dilly dilly who told you so? Was my own heart dilly dilly that told me so.

Call up the men dilly dilly set them to work. Some to the plow dilly dilly some to the fork.

Some to make hay dilly dilly some to cut corn. While you and I dilly dilly keep ourselves warm.

Lavanders green dilly dilly lavanders blue. If you love me dilly dilly I will love you.

Let the birds sing dilly dilly and the lambs play. We shall be safe dilly dilly out of harms way.

I love to dance dilly dilly I love to sing. When I am queen dilly dilly you'll be my king

Who told me so dily dilly who told me so? I told myself dilly dilly I told me so”

"You didn't tell me that you could sing" a small pfft comes from your lips. Turning your head to the side. The both of you stopping your gentle movements. His hand still holding yours as you bring them down to your sides. His other remains on your hip.

"I enjoy singing. I wouldn't describe it as one of my talents though". He smiles. A soft chuckle coming from his throat. You turn your head back to him. Meeting his ocean eyes again. "I wanted to be a show girl when I was younger. The fancy outfits. The singing and dancing. It spoke to me". You glance at your hand on his shoulder. Gently brushing your fingers over the bare skin. "My mum told me that proper ladies didn't do things like that".

"What are ladies meant to do then ey?" you tilt your head again. Meeting those blue glaciers.

"Create a good and honest living for herself". You bring both your hands up. Resting them gently onto the back of his neck. His hand now free finds refuge on your hip. "You'd have liked her. She was a very strong minded woman. Always made it clear exactly what she wanted". He tilts his head upwards as he gives a low chuckle. You smile as you watch him. His head cocking back down. Meeting your eyes once again.

"You and her have that in common". Your smile goes soft. A state of serenity coming over you as you meet his cool stare. You lean forward. Resting your head onto his shoulder. Facing towards him. One of your hands moves to his back. Resting lightly on his shoulder blade. Your other hand moves to rest onto his upper arm. The one opposite where your head rests. His hands remain on your hips as he holds you. "How old where you when she died?" His voice calm. You take in a breath.

"I was 16". Your tongue drags over your top teeth. "She wasnt my real mum. My dad married her when I was 6. She may not have been blood but she was still my mum. My biological mum died when I was 4. I don’t remember her much. I just remember her singing me lullabies as she held my hands. She had the voice of an angel". Both of you now still in the silent room. A quietness filling the room as he takes in the information.

"Your sisters?"

"Half sisters. But that doesn matter to me. They are my family. I promised mum- step mum - that I’d look out for them". He nods. The room going deathly quiet as you both stand. You shut your eyes. Breathing in his scent of whiskey and cigarettes. The familiarness soothing your racing mind.

"We should try and get some sleep". You shake your head.

"I'll sleep tomorrow when I’m back home and I can easily get to my child"

"You can’t not sleep just because you are away from Charlie"

"Sleep means dreaming. Dreams mean nightmares"

"Florence" He says with a slight sterness. A few years ago you’d be shitting yourself at that tone. It does draw your attention though. Opening your eyes as you move from his shoulder. Meeting his harsh gaze. "Bed". He demands. You give an annoyed sigh. Moving your body from him.

"Going" you speak in his tongue. Turning as you start walking to the bed. He grabs your wrist. Stopping you. You turn to face him. Eyes darting to where he’s grabbed you before looking at his face.

"What did you say?".

“I said I’m going” your voice unsure as you speak the words strongly. He shakes his head slightly.

"Why did you speak in Romani?" You shrug slightly. His eyes unmoving as they watch you.

"I guess I must’ve picked up a few words from hearing you speak it to your family. I’ve always had an ear for language". His eyes staying on yours. Giving him a small proud smile. "I can also speak Spanish”. Tilting your eyes up as you correct yourself. “Not fluently but I understand it completely". He continues watching you. Unspoken. You face turning to one of concern.

"Did I do something wrong?" Your voice a whisper. Worried you’d said the wrong word or somehow offended him. He shakes his head. He pulls you towards him by his hand around yours. Your free hand instinctively coming up. Hand clenched to a fist as you rest it gently onto his chest. Unable to read his movements or thoughts. Unsure of whats to come. His hand not holding your wrist coming up. Holding your face. Palm under your chin as his fingers and thumb rest either side of your face. A harsh hold despite his soft grip.

"I forget how smart you are sometimes". He puts on a smile. Eyes scanning yours. Darting his gaze to your lips. Saying something. Your brain processes that he said words. They weren’t English words. No. Instead he speaks in his language. You move your eyes to his mouth. Brain processing the words. He gives you a minute. Silent as he watches you. Practically hearing the cogs turn in your head.

"Yes" you softly say. "Yes I understand you".

"Smart girl" he says. Moving his hand from your jaw. "Come on. The sun will be up soon. When it rises we can head back home" he goes over to the bed. Standing by the side of it as you watch him. "It'll come up quicker if you sleep the hours away". You walk over to the bed. Getting under the covers. Him lying next to you. You resting on your side as he lies on his back. The light of the moon and stars being enough for you both to see. His eyes shut. Letting him block out what little light you had in the room. You do the same. Trying to push any negative thoughts out your head as you sleep.

Wondering around your house. Floor length dress falling around you as you search your home. Going into the nursery. No sign of your son. You rush to the bedroom to inform your husband. Nothing. The living room for your sisters. Empty. You run around. Calling their names as you try and find them. Crying out in hopes someone will respond to you.

You jolt awake. The soothing sound of a voice speaking your name. Tommy is half upright. His hand resting on your arm as he leans on his other hand. "Florence". You blink at him. Sitting bolt upright. Eyes frantic around the bedroom. "Shh" he says. His arm coming up and wrapping around you. Pulling you into him. "Its ok. You're ok". His hand resting in the curls of your hair as he stays awkwardly balanced. You bring your hands up. Fisting them as they go around his broad torso. Hiding your face into his shoulder.

He shifts both of your body weights. Hand going to your hip as he sits up. Moving the pillows behind him as he leans against the bed frame. You let him move you. His hands gentle yet affirmative as they grip your hips. Pulling you onto his lap. He moves his hands. One gently stroking your hair as the other rests on your back. Your own hands wrapped firmly around his neck. His voice soft as he speaks. "I've got you love. Just focus on me. Everything is ok". He speaks into the shell of your ear. Allowing you to focus on his voice. He whispers sweet nothings into your head until you fall asleep. Your face burried into his shoulder as he holds you close to him. Legs straddling over his waist.

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@whorecrux-of-slytherin @kkrenae @ireallydontcareanymorebrooo @frozenhuntress67 @sagemastah @meadows58

[goddessofroyalty]

Thinking about Silco/Cassandra/Mel hijacking the Jayvik wedding guest list again (because it's endlessly entertaining to me) and I just had this very silly idea, happening like midway through the planning stage-

Picture Jayce in the middle of a planning session, reading over the giant guest list after the latest ~10 additions, Mel next to him and blithely ignoring Silco & Cassandra "politely" squabbling in the background, when SUDDENLY HE NOTICES:

"Hey Mel."

"Yes?"

"Where's my uncle? And... his kids?"

(Queue all 3 of them freezing because in the midst of their Strategic Efforts, it completely slipped their minds that even though Talis House is just Jayce & Ximena, Ximena did in fact exist pre-Talisness and somebody should've asked about her relatives back in Ixtal)

(Queue "Of course they're invited, Jayce, this is just the... unrelated guests." "Nice try, Vander's literally the first name on it." "... I'll get Elora to fix it.")

Quick question - did they accidently remove Jayce's uncle off the list through their micromanaging the seating plan or have they just never actually given Jayce and Viktor a chance to look at it and suggest any names they want that might not be known to the Silco-Cassandra-Mel trio?

Either way it's probably enough for Jayce to a little strong-arm himself back into the process. Yes, he had seen their logic that letting them take care of it would free up some time for him and Viktor to do other things (both wedding and their work) but clearly he (and Viktor) need to review it and make sure any names they really want there are included.

[jedischooldropout]

Disney is Ignoring Disabled Folks

Hi ya’ll,

I’m a big Disney fan, especially when it comes to the parks. I’m also disabled—autistic, OCD, social anxiety—so going on vacations can be overwhelming and cause meltdowns.

So, as you can assume, I have very strong opinions about the situation with Disney’s DAS Pass. In case you haven’t heard the news:

The Disability Access Service (DAS) is one of Disney’s very few accommodations it provides for disabled folks who struggle to wait in a traditional queue. The pass originally was FREE alongside the FREE Fastpass service which was available to all park goers. The way the DAS Pass worked is you would approach a cast member in town hall and claim you had a disability that required the pass and it would be given, no questions asked. You could then use the pass much like a Fastpass, but it allowed you to wait outside of a line for the same amount of time other folks had to wait in the regular queue. So, if Splash Mountain was listed as a 1 hour wait, you would have a cast member at the ride sign your return time on your pass and you would have to return an hour later. This gave disabled folks ample time to tend to their physical, mental, and emotional needs outside of the noisy, hot, cramped confines of a queue.

Disney Parks updated their DAS after introducing Lightning Lane (PAID shorter queue service),stating they made the updates because there was a steep increase of people using the DAS pass and lying about being disabled to get the pass. I did find news stories of people being caught abusing the service, but it was a small number of people.

Disney instituted rules where disabled guests would have to apply for the DAS (still a FREE service). Disabled guests would have to purchase their park tickets ahead of time and then apply for the DAS Pass. They had a choice of either applying online ahead of their vacation and talk with a cast member on video chat about why they needed the pass or talking to a cast member at the park. You could not provide any medical documentation as proof because Disney claimed it was against medical record laws for them ask for that. Even if you offered the documentation freely, they would still refuse to look at it. At the end of the video chat, the cast member would either offer you DAS or deny it.

Seems convenient, right? I thought so, until many disabled folks and their families started sharing their experiences with this process. Many folks had to wait for hours on hold during the video chat because of the huge volume of applicants and if they didn’t stay by their computer and stay active on the chat, it would kick them out within SECONDS and they would have to start over and wait hours again.

And that’s not even the worst of it. Those few who would get a video chat had to answer invasive questions. After going through this difficult process, most were denied their pass saying they weren’t “disabled enough,” and if waiting in line was such a hardship, they should either spend hundreds on a Lightning Lane pass or just not come to the parks at all. Here’s some of the denials I have seen:

A terminal cancer patient was denied.

A parent with PTSD was told to not come to the parks if they struggle with crowds.

An autistic child was denied and ended up having a meltdown two hours into his vacation, forcing his family to leave.

A person who uses a colostomy bag was told to “just hold it.” Until they could get out of line.

A person in a wheelchair was told to “practice waiting in line” before their trip.

Disabled folks are obviously furious. Disney tried to fix the issues by stating the DAS pass is only for people with “developmental disabilities, like autism.” This has made the situation worse, because it now openly excludes millions of people without that specific disability. There is no accommodation for those folks in the parks. And don’t think it’s easier for autistic folks to get the pass either—many people with developmental disabilities are claiming online they were denied because they didn’t look disabled enough.

Many people, me included, believe Disney changed the DAS pass system because they wanted to make more money. If there are more disabled folks going to Disney and using DAS that’s less people buying Lightning Lane because the DAS covers you and 3 family members (used to be 6 members, but they changed that too).

This is a huge blow to the disability community because this was one of the few (free) accommodations available at the parks. Here is what their website offers:

Parking—as long as you have a placard (paid)

Resort Transportation—only some buses have wheelchair access—(resort guests only)

DAS Pass (free)

Wheelchair and ECV rentals (paid, obviously)

Sign Language interpreters—for select shows on select days of the week (free)

Guide map (free)

List of sensory information (free)

Accessibility Planning Guide (free)

Sure, this sounds helpful. But only the DAS pass helps us disabled folk avoid the crowded, hot attraction queues.

One of the recommendations that Disney has told denied guests to do if they can’t wait in a line is to do Attraction Queue Re-Entry. Essentially, you abandon the disabled guest to wait outside the line while the rest of the party gets in the standby queue and goes through the line. When they near the boarding for the attraction, the disabled person can then cut people in the standby queue and reunite with their party. 🤦‍♀️

This is a safety issue on so many levels. Not only is Disney encouraging families to abandon their disabled family member, but they’re forcing the disabled guest to then actively cut people in line! I have seen how people react to line cutters at the park and people can get violent. Disney claims that the cast members at the attraction should be made aware and can help the disabled guest to navigate the queue. However, shift changes can cause issues and the new cast member might not know the disable person is using this accommodation.

Disabled folks have been protesting Disney’s treatment of the disability community, but the company isn’t listening. I don’t blame the cast members who are working for very little money and no training on how to support disabled guests.

It breaks my heart this is happening. Some people wonder why I like going to Disneyland when the crowds, noise, and changes in routine can overwhelm me. I have been going since I was 4 years old and it does overwhelm me. I remember having an autistic meltdown during every trip, even in my 30s. But I keep going because it’s a special interest and the motion of the rides can be soothing for me. I never used the DAS pass because I didn’t know it existed because I didn’t know I was disabled. When I finally got my diagnosis and started accommodating myself, I discovered DAS and was so hopeful I could get the pass and finally experience a Disney trip without a meltdown.

After learning about others’ experiences with DAS, I realized I would most likely be denied. I couldn’t afford Lightning Lane as an alternative either. So, until Disney fixes their DAS and educates themselves on how completely inaccessible their parks are, I probably won’t go again. I don’t want to spend almost $4,000 on a vacation where I spend it having a meltdown in a teacup.

GIF by disneylandgif.tumblr.com

[mitamicah]

Hi guys, I want to talk a bit about what is going on in my life and my plans for the rest of my year. Feel free to just read the TLDR.

TLDR:

I had a consultation with a private clinic in Malmö about top surgery. Went great and have free reigns to suggest a day for surgery. Want to talk with my social worker and contact person first tho.

Celebrated my one year on hrt anniversary being at a heavy music award show.

The rest of November is busy and then Sunday I will be flying to Zagreb – for this reason maybe I won’t be able to draw a lot (which sucks).

December is building up to be busy too yet I’ll try myself to find time to finished owned artworks (mostly the three secret santas I’m in).  

First up, I want to talk my weekend since it was a very special one for me being that it was my second birthday weekend (Saturday I had been one year on testosterone).

When I realized that my favourite Danish band would guest at a local award show for heavy music in Copenhagen, I immediately bought tickets, which turned out to be the best timing, given that I later booked a consultation at Reformkliniken in Malmö for pre-op consultation about potential top surgery the day before.

I slept by my friends’ house, a lesbian couple where one is a transwoman so they’ve experience with surgery especially gender affirming surgery. They had also offered to be my companions at the consultation which I was very grateful for) so the three of us went over the border the next day and had half a day in Sweden together, visiting Folkets park (to see if my sticker was still up – unfortunately we couldn’t find it) and this cute little café before going to the appointment.

Half an hour late we got inside where the surgeon was surprised to see not one but three people step inside. The consultation went well, and honestly better than I’d expected. He was kind, a good listener, factual and thorough. While I maybe should have expected it for a private clinic the fact that there was no waitlist blew me back a bit, yet I ended up asking if it was alright I went back later with a suggestion to a date for surgery. Then we talked to the secretary who was just as thorough if not more about everything I would need to know leading up to the surgery down to little things I’d never would’ve imagined having to think about like not eating specific medicine, wearing nailpolish, washing myself daily for a month leading up to the surgery and much, much more. All wasn’t fun and games though since while I know it was necessary for the consultation, the 2-5 min. of me being topless in front of the surgeon having to describe what I saw shook me up. This is the first time since my ex I have been topless in front of somebody else and I felt my body betraying me a bit almost making me choke on my words and cheer up having to speak. I guess in the end that only goes to show even more why I want/need this surgery. Now what I need to do is print the part of my journal from the gender clinic in Denmark that’s about me wanting top surgery (to send to the secretary) and see if I can set up a meeting between me and the people around me from the local authorities (contact person and social worker mostly) to hear about how to plan a surgery into my schedule. All this by also knowing I still have a second appointment with the gender clinic on December 12.

The next day I went to see my faves and got a bit of a whiplash meeting up as the sole queue member at 5 pm, one hour before the doors. I have been getting so used to go to shows where you need to queue to secure a spot, so I felt very odd sitting out here alone for an hour even more so when everybody I told was shocked, I’d arrived so “early”. Oh, well the award show was good and I got to cling to my band before it began, steal the set lists of three of four performing bands and talk with new, cool people. I even met somebody from my summer camp that was up getting an award together with a band he’d played with as a substitute guitarist.

Secondly, I feel like I haven’t kept you guys up to date about everything so here’s a bit of a rant about my plans for the rest of the year:

This upcoming week will be wild! Before November is over I have one tattoo appointment (tomorrow), one study to participate in (Tuesday), one craft painting appointment with my sister (Tuesday), one concert with my choir (Wednesday), one trans support group meeting (Thursday) and four more days at the internship to go (Monday, Wednesday-Friday). Then on top of that I have a trip to plan since yes, I got approved to have a break on both December 2-4 and December 16-18 so I can go to Zagreb (and Poland)!!!

December starts off with me literally on day one flying to Croatia to spend the first few days in the Balkans. December 2 I have scheduled a trip to Ljubjana just because. Then there’s the Zagreb concert on Tuesday where I have made a sign to go with my homemade t-shirts for the band members (and another sign saying I travelled to Denmark to see them). I think I’ll bring some of my textile markers if in case the guys want to sign my Bluza shirt. But that will not be my priority – my biggest hope for this concert is still to gift them the shirts and then Bojan to see my tattoo. Everything else after that is bonus upon a bonus!!!

After arriving home from Zagreb I will have a week and a half to work and to find out how to schedule Christmas shopping and art making (also having an appointment with the gender clinic and another choir concert inbetween). Then on December 15 I will be flying to Warszawa (and taking the bus to Kraków thereafter) to participate in two of three of Käärijä’s polish concerts. The closer we get to the trip however the less confident I am about my flight choices (the one home is at 6 almost 7 am in the morning) so I hope to use the option of rescheduling the flight to a later time the same day (I purchased a ticket where you could do that but I have to call booking.com and I am not sure the phone number I’ve found is the right one). Other than that I feel like the planning of the polish trip is coming along nicely as well. Then I will go home, work for two days then travel with my sister and her boyfriend to my dad’s house to celebrate pre-christmas with them and then later Christmas with my mother. I still don’t know what to do after December 24 other than my sister want me (and my mom) out before December 28 so to prepare for her having guests over for the new years.

Honestly, I think this might be the busiest Christmas I will have had for a while, so fingers crossed I haven’t bit over more than I can chew signing up for three secret santa events (one luckily running until January).

[tbgblr2]

Cruising into new life - part 1

I’ve just recently came back from a cruise holiday. One of the things which always upset me with cruises was that typically you cannot join if you reach 24 weeks of pregnancy so here’s a story for if things got a bit turned on their heads.

“Everything looks great” our midwife smiled as she wiped the ultrasound gel from my wife’s belly. Jodie pulled her top back down again – tugging it at the end as it threatened not to fully cover the expanse of her belly, and using both of us as support she managed to get sat up and into an upright position.

“I’ve been asked to hand these out to late term mothers who were looking for an opportunity to have one last hurrah before their baby comes. I’m happy to say that as you appear to be complication free I’m happy to sign off on you attending if you’re interested.” She pulled out a drawer and handed us a leaflet.

The leaflet explained about a cruise which was being hosted by Charles LeGrande a well-known eccentric billionaire who – thanks to their media presence – we knew had been expecting his first child with his wife at roughly about the same time as us. It explained that his wife was a lover of the sea and was not happy that the typical cruises would exclude pregnant women when they were typically the ones who needed the luxury and pampering the most. So he was opening his personal cruise ship to 1000 guests who had to be hand-picked by their medical practitioners as being low risk and willing to enjoy the event.

It promised excellent food, 2 weeks of relaxation, access to an executive team of medical staff to cover any possible risk, and even a helicopter to get you back to the mainland should anything present as an emergency situation. The team knew there was every possibility that several of the mothers to be could give birth during the voyage, and yes, that was even planned for with the entire eighth deck – with pristine sea views – converting their cabins into bespoke birthing suites for the trip.

My wife couldn’t wait to say yes, so that is how we found ourselves, 2 weeks later, 39 weeks pregnant and waddling up to the check in desk at the cruise port, with the view of the most magnificent ship we had ever seen our backdrop as we approached the building.

The staff had everything to hand, each way you looked, all you see were bumps of various shapes and sizes – but all were in an advanced state of pregnancy.

The guests were invited to sit down so they weren’t forced to stand up in queues, whilst the staff came to them one after another to get them checked in and issue them whatever documents they needed for the cruise. We were impressed.

Our host stood with his pregnant wife standing beside him at the end of the hallway as each group in turn left the check in area and walked onto the ship, greeting them personally. As we approached the couple my wife commented on Charles wife – who we later learned was called Adriana, or Adi for short – must have incredible stamina to remain standing for so long in her condition – and believe me I have an eye for beauty in the pregnant form and this lady was pregnancy personified – tight dress accentuating what could only be described as a lithe dancers body, with breasts out to there and a belly to match.

The couple were of course full of smiles and welcoming gestures as we walked up the bridge to the atrium, a magnificent view of crystal chandeliers, gold finishes and guests and crew mingling at what was essentially a meet and greet session. We grabbed some canapés and some (non alcoholic) cocktails and looked around. The guest list looked to be from all walks of life – a few men dressed in very expensive looking suits along with their wives in tailored dresses to accentuate their pregnancy alongside working class people – would say around 80% as a guess appearing to be first timer parents – or at least those who didn’t bring their children with them – and a few who had smaller children in tow. One woman who was heavily pregnant had a younger lady with her who we later found out was her daughter, both ironically due the same day. There was what I presumed was a poly couple – 1 man along with 2 women – both heavily pregnant, and one of them holding a small child to her hip.

We met several crew in uniform, each identifying their name badges but not their role on the ship – they advised that Captain LeGrand was wanting to introduce everyone personally.

Finally all guests were boarded and we were asked to move to an adjoining room – which turned out to be a large cinema – where the captain was to give an address. Everyone shuffled in, groans of appreciation from the pregnant ladies having a chance to get off their feet and take a seat as the staff lined up, one set of uniforms on the left and another set on the right. There was an announcement over the PA system;

“Ladies and gentlemen please welcome your host, Mr Charles LeGrande.” He walked into the stage without his wife to good natured applause from the crowd, and as he waited for the noise to recede, he started to speak.

“I’m sure you agree this is a little unusual, but you have all joined me and my wife for what we hope will be a happy and memorable occasion. As you are no doubt aware, my wife is days away from her due date and wanted to do something special. She always hated that commercial cruises did not allow pregnant women on them – her history was a dancer in a show on board these types of cruises – so she asked if we could do something private and avoid the bureaucracy whilst giving pregnant women like you some much needed pampering time as you approach a major milestone in your lives.” This was met with a bit of cheering and clapping from the assembled crowd.

“For the next 2 weeks, I hope you will make the most of these facilities. I will answer the most obvious question first. We have ladies on board who may or may not go into labour through this cruise – my wife included. To ensure you are cared for during this time we have hand-picked an elite team of midwives, doulas, paediatricians and obstetricians, so please allow me to introduce you to the team on my left”. He offered a flourish of his arm. Generally, there was a round of applause as 2 ladies sat behind us caught glimpse of one of the staff – he was a muscular hunk of a man, probably more suited to a catwalk or movie studio than a medical field, and their content caught both me and my wife off guard, sending us into fits of giggles:

“Oh jeez, hope he doesn’t have to deliver my baby - I’ll be too focused on those guns and I’ll forget to push!”

LeGrande continued “To my right are our customer relations team, our spa team, your dining host, customer service staff and our head of housekeeping.” Another round of applause and waves followed from the team. “If you have any questions at all through the cruise please contact the customer service desk and they will make sure the appropriate team members are informed.”

“Next we have your personal trackers. As each of you boarded the ship, you were given a small device.” I looked at the coin sized puck that was handed to me that I put into my pocket. “This is your room key, and more importantly it offers you a way to get in touch with our crew. The red button summons medical help should you need it and the blue button summons customer support. Please, we know that in the later stages of pregnancy mobility is not the best, so please allow us to bring food and drink to you.” There was a general murmur through the crowd. “Of course please be aware that we cannot be everywhere at once so if you log into out app on your phone on ships wifi you can get an idea if the queue and status of your request – as much as we want to try and make things hassle free, if you want something quick, I’m afraid you will need to fetch it yourselves.”

“To aid your mobility on board, at each lift lobby and in the designated room alongside the atrium are electrically assisted wheelchairs. Please feel free to use them – they are not drivable, but the electrical support should help with whoever may be wheeling you around. Please when you have finished with them please return them to an available charging point, or if that is not possible, please hold the return button for 5 seconds until it starts to flash. That will alert our porter team to retrieve it. If you come across one which you would like to use, simply press the button again to stop the signal.”

“I have 3 more announcements. Sorry I know I have been droning on and you would like to explore the ship, but all are very important. Firstly for your safety, please review the lifejacket procedure in your tv in your room. You will be required today at some point to visit your lifeboat station and check in to confirm you have found it. If you have not done this by tomorrow one of our staff will be required to escort you to it – some parts of the law cannot be avoided to maintain our insurance!” Thankfully the crowd laughed at this as he continued “next will be our adults area – when we are in international waters – which we will announce over the PA system when this is the case – will operate a clothing optimal policy. We must insist on zero attendance in these areas by your children. Access to these areas will require use of your puck to unlock the doors and access to these areas by the lifts.” He continued before the murmuring got too loud at that announcement “and finally my wife has an announcement.”

He stepped to the side as the large screen behind him lit up. Adriana appeared on it, beaming, smiling face in front of the camera. She spoke with an accent which hinted at Latina roots, but was highly Americanised now. “Welcome on board. My husband and I would like to welcome you to watch our birth.” There were gasps and mumbles in the crowd but she continued. “I have a camera crew who will be with me during the voyage. We will broadcast over channel 10 on your room TV sets and also in this cinema. Until my labour begins I will be meeting and greeting people on the ship, and once my time is upon me, I would like to share it with you. After leaving the dancers life full time I have trained as a doula, and feel that birth education is incredibly important. I hope footage of my birth gives those of you who are yet to experience this miracle some confidence that you can do it.”

More applause ensued as the message sunk home. This was certainly going to be a cruise to remember that’s for certain.

Charles brought the meeting to a close. “I thank you all for attending and now please enjoy the facilities on offer in our ship.” He held a walkie talkie to his mouth and announced “ensign please let us depart.” With that there was a rumble as the ships engines powered up, and as started to file out of the cinema we felt the movement of the ship as it pushed off from the docks.

It took a little while for the crowd to move, with a large percentage of them groaning and complaining as they were forced to lift their pregnancy addled bodies back out of the – I must say – very comfortable seats. We took it slow, my hand grasping Jodie’s as we took a leisurely stroll around the deck we were on, it was certain that no expense had been spared in getting this ship outfitted for our needs. We came across the room with the wheelchairs and both of us turned as one to look at each other. We nodded simultaneously and dashed in to give one a go. There were still about 2 dozen left hooked up to charge points, so we uncoupled one and Jodie slowly lifted herself down into the seat. Her groan of appreciation for getting off her feet was heavenly to me. I gave it a test push, and found with the electrical assistance it was almost like no one was sitting in it at all.

She looked at her app on her phone as I pushed her along a corridor, reading out useful bits and pieces to me. “Decks 1,2,4 were crew quarters. Deck 3 is dedicated to the atrium, cinema and customer services. Deck 5 contains restaurants, and the spa area. Deck 6 doesn’t appear to be used, 7 and 9 were guest rooms, 8 was the converted floor for the delivery suites around the outside cabins and a medical centre and nursery inside. Deck 10 was the entertainment deck – an indoor area with the nightclub / activities room, and all the outdoor pool areas. At the rear end of the ship – or aft it says here I guess using nautical speak – is the adults only area. There’s access from there to a deck 11 area which is described as the oasis… now that I want to see.”

I grin as we approach a lift “if that announcement was anything to go by, we’ll see a lot more in the adult area than we maybe should.”

My wife just grinned at me and gave me a sly look. She knew as well as me that since she got pregnant I’d been – to quote her – one horny bugger – and she knew that having the opportunity to spend time almost ogling dozens or more pregnant women would be my own idea of heaven. She had found my porn stashes fairly early on in our relationship, and she certainly embraced my kinks, especially now that we had managed the pregnancy thing for real.

We were broken out of our reverie by a ding as the lift arrived. We had left it for the majority to clear out and head to their rooms before we headed that way to avoid crowded lift areas – after all bumps took up a lot more room than expected inside a lift. We stepped in and felt the sensation as we went up to floor 6 the one designated for us. We got out of the lift, and I trundled my wife and chair down the corridor. We spotted our bags outside the room so swiped out puck against the door lock, shoving the door back to peer into the room.

It was gorgeous. We left the chair outside and my wife walked in to a chorus of ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ as she looked left and right. I took a step outside and brought in our cases as my wife made a beeline straight for the bed. We noted that alongside the compliment of regular pillows there was a full body pregnancy pillow designed to help support the bump. She flopped down and gave out the most appreciative moan I had ever heard. I offered to take the chair back to the atrium storage area whilst she unpacked, which she agreed to. I headed back out, closing the door behind me and following a walk down the corridor, waiting for a lift ride, taking it down then back up again, and walking along to our room once more, I opened the door to be greeted by the whistling quiet little snores of my wife, deep in sleep, our cases exactly where I’d left them.

I managed to get our stuff unpacked whilst making as little noise as possible and thankfully it didn’t wake my wife. I was constantly amazed at the little smiles and groans she made as I visibly see the movement of the baby inside the bump, encased by the tightly stretched fabric of her top. After unpacking I leave her to her sleep as I shuffle out the room and explore a bit. I run into a lady in the corridor who rivalled any pregnant belly I’d seen in my life, and gave her a quick nod as I noticed she was in the room next door to us. She returned the nod but seemed to be in a bit of a rush to get back into her room. Not that I could blame her of course – strange man in a corridor coupled with late stage pregnancy bladder – who knows what rush she was in.

I walked along to our lifeboat station and registered my attendance (which thankfully also accommodated Jodie as well) – another thing crossed off the to do list, then made my way up to deck 10 to see the entertainment area. I was met with a camera in my face and the beaming smile of Adriana.

“Ahh hello there sir. I can only presume by your flat midsection, you are one of the fathers to be rather than one of our future mothers?” I couldn’t help but smile at her own infectious smile as I replied

“I’m afraid so. Just exploring on my own as the wife has a nap. My compliments to whoever buys your mattresses – she was asleep within minutes of lying down.”

She smiled in return, her hand caressing her large bump which my eye was drawn down to in the process. Realising I was still being recorded I flicked my eyes back up and looked back towards her face. “I’ll be sure to tell our master of housekeeping. Please, enjoy your stay and I’ll look forward to seeing you around the ship.” With that she gave another beaming smile, the camera man gave a nod to signal that they had stopped recording, and Adriana gave me a quick peck kiss, almost on my cheek in the air a few millimetres from actually touching my skin, thanking me for playing along – usually if someone has a camera sprung on them they panic which is really hard to edit live. Two things crossed my mind – firstly – what perfume was she wearing because it smelled good – all fruity with major notes of cherries, and soon after I froze as I realised point two – I’d potentially just been broadcast to the entire ship checking out Adriana’s bump.

Two other people were in the room – the mother and daughter duo. They were both smiling and looking straight at me which was let’s just say unnerving, but I walked towards them and said my hellos. It was here in the small talk that I learned these 2 ladies – Karen and Jess were mother and daughter, Karen’s husband, Jess’s dad – had divorced several years ago. Both ladies had fallen pregnant after an incident at a celebration even after Jess’s graduation from university. The divorce settlement had allowed them to be self sufficient for the duration of their pregnancies but Jess was aware that she couldn’t live from her mothers hand downs forever so knew once the baby was born she would be starting to look for full time work whilst her mother looked after both her own baby and her grandchild.

I gave my own backstory – me and my wife Jodie had finally decided to try for a baby after several years of considering it, and so far everything was going like textbook. We had an opportunity to learn the sex if the baby several ultrasound checks ago, but we decided against it, but had the doctor write it down in an envelope which she kept in her purse should she ever want to read it. All this time that envelope had remained unopened and we had no plans to change that.

After the introductions and pleasantries were over with, Karen – the mother – grinned at me. “So we saw you checking out boss lady’s rack. Hey man I don’t blame you, she looks good” she emphasised the word spending just a little too long sounding it out. “Just don’t let boss man catch you doing that or he may make you walk the plank. Arr!” She emphasised the pirate noises as I almost choked laughing.

“Would you believe that I wasn’t?” I asked. Both ladies shook their heads together. I was actually looking at her bump… to make sure that I don’t bump into her.” The last bit came out maybe a little too fast for my liking.

“Oooh so that’s it” grinned both ladies. “You like the big bellies.” I made an attempt to say no but before I could get the words out, both had lifted up their tops and exposed their bellies to me. I stood open mouthed unable to make a coherent sentence.

“Go ahead, touch em.” Jess offered. “They’re just baby containers. Smooth, stretched out, Shea butter oiled, tingling to the touch baby containers.” Both burst into fits of giggles. No matter what anyone thought of these 2 as mother and daughter, they were definitely more like friends or sisters.. I could also see how their story went how both of them fell pregnant at the same time at the same party. I’d dare say that Karen, when dolled up for a night out could easily pass for 20 years her junior or so.

“Another time ladies” I inwardly shook my head, I mean this sort of situation would have normally been a dream come true for someone like me, but my wife was literal walking distance away from me. “I’m here with my wife and to let you into a little secret… that sort of thing might just go beyond the ‘baby container’ simplicity for me. I’d feel guilty indulging.” The ladies giggled but offered a counter proposal from Karen;

“I’d like to meet your wife. Don’t worry we will say you are the perfect gent. Just we don’t have many friends and it would be nice to trade gyno horror stories.” I laughed but agreed.

“I’ll let her know. Send me a message when you’re going for food and I’ll see if we can meet you?”

With that we swapped messaging details and went our separate ways.

I headed back to the room to find Jodie awake again and rearranging all the stuff I unpacked. “Oh Hi babe” she announced. “Sorry, don’t know what came over me but that bed was good. Thanks for unpacking everything.” I gave her a one of those looks, with raised eyebrows as a response. “I didn’t say you had unpacked it correctly did I” she offered, fluttering her eyelashes in innocence.

After a bit of time spent pulling things from one cupboard and closet to the next, I explained the story of the 2 ladies who Jodie remembered from the port. She of course agreed to sit with them so I texted a thumbs up to Karen who sent back a smiling face and ‘see you in an hour’

Myself and Jodie wanted to get washed up before the meal so traded showers one after the other. We wanted to share one, but one thing is for certain, cruise ship showers were hardly big enough for one person, never mind two and a bump… so we settled for naked cuddles on the bed as we dried off, my hands exploring Jodie’s breasts and belly as I felt our baby kick at the attention. It got to around 20 minutes before we were due to head down and as things were starting to get spicy between us, I pleaded for us not to head down and just stay in the room explore what the bed had to offer. Jodie stared me straight down.

“I’m starving. Both me and this little cherub need a good bit of food. You don’t want hangry sex, believe me.” I laughed and accepted what she said, rolling over with a kiss to her lips. “Now help me up, I’m like a beached whale.” That was it we were both laughing at that point.

We had a slow walk down, Jodie opting to walk rather than me fetching the chair – she insisted she was pregnant, not an invalid - and met up with Karen and Jess outside the restaurant who were waiting on a chair for us. Jodie greeted them with a smiling hug – or at least as good a hug as you could get when both participants jutted out much father than is normal. We made our way in to get our food – greeted at the door by the staff member who would be serving us for the evening and took us to our table. We were seated – us on one side and those two on the other, presented with menus and made our choices. Conversation flowed – my wife the much more sociable one than me, but all 3 women got along fine. I had a retelling of the ladies back story, a bit of information on how we met and other mundane stuff. When asked if they wanted to give birth on the ship, both were very positive on the idea as long as both were together. Karen of course was hoping she could hold off until Jess had delivered as she wanted to be there for her little girl… but both were aware that babies made their own agendas. We both nodded at that.

When we were asked the same question, Jodie pondered a little while. She explained her own mum was a midwife and she was hoping that she could have delivered her first grandchild at home… but she made us promise not to give up this opportunity – as long as we got straight on the ships wifi and gave her a call so she could be there in spirit if not in person.

After a chorus of ‘Awww’s from the other ladies our first course arrived and we enjoyed what must be one of the nicest meals I ever tasted. Clean plates on the first course, and we were well into the second course when a commotion caught our attention.

One lady was dashing out if the restaurant at a pace I didn’t think a heavily pregnant women could manage, one hand clamped on her mouth the other under her belly. Looking between ourselves we presumed she had a bout of sea sickness but I recognised her as the woman who I ran into in the corridor earlier – our neighbour. When she didn’t return for the rest of the meal I suggested we knock on her door to make sure she was OK as she appeared to be there by herself – no one else followed her out of the restaurant.

We finished up the rest of the meal talking a bit afterwards and around an hour or so after the commotion, we said our goodbyes to the ladies and made our way back to the room to do our good deed of the day.

As we got out of the lift and rounded the corner to our corridor, we heard an shrill cry. Stopped momentarily we looked at each other and dashed as fast as we could towards the sound. Our neighbours door was wide open, a mobile crib outside the door. Looking in the room we were met with a sight. The lady from before facing away from us, stripped naked and bracing herself with one hand on the table and another on the back of a chair. One of the medical team was in front of her, kneeling between her legs, hands poised to catch the baby which she was evidently moments away from giving birth to.

She yelled again and squatted down a little deeper, as we both saw the face of her baby appear between her legs along with a gush of fluids. We noticed then that a rubber mat of some variety had been placed down, presumably to catch the mess. The lady from the medical team was telling her that she was doing a good job, that she was almost done, and with another yelling scream the baby slipped out from between her legs and into the waiting hands of the lady waiting to receive it.

The lady dropped down to her own knees to be handed the baby, as she rocked back on her haunches she finally came back to reality and turned to see us standing the doorway. We were caught red faced looking at her in an intimate, vulnerable moment and we were unsure what to do.

Luckily she smiled first. “Oh hi… you must be my neighbours? Sorry about the noise.”

Jodie just shook her head. “Erm… are you ok? We were just wanting to make sure that you were good after leaving the restaurant in a rush.”

The lady smiled. “I am now. Look… come in, can’t have you sitting in the corridor like that.” She was completely oblivious that she was both naked, holding a crying baby to her chest, and inviting strangers to come into her private space. Either way we did as she asked and closed the door behind us.

Over the course of the next 30 minutes or so we watched as the lady from the medical team carried out checks on the mother and baby, everything seemed fine, then cut the cord as the lady – Donna it turns out – explained to us that she had felt a bit off all day but didn’t want to risk not making it onto the boat as she’d been looking forward to it for several weeks. After she had a wave of nausea during the meal, her waters had broken on the way back to the room, and that was when she had felt the first thing close to a contraction. From there she was in full blown pushing for about 30 minutes until we came along – and the rest we knew. She called the medical team but they already announced she was at 8cm when they arrived and couldn’t be moved to the delivery suite – hence the mobile crib being brought along and her somewhat embarrassing predicament.

With that she finally realised she was naked and asked me to pass her over something to cover her up out of her wardrobe. I found a wrap that she draped over her shoulders as the lady from medical rubbed her belly and she groaned a little – giving birth to her placenta in the process. She relaxed into breastfeeding her baby as we said our goodbyes happy hormones fuelling both our spirits as we opened the door.

Just outside was Adriana and her camera team, ready to meet the mother once the medical team said they were able to. She had heard of the first baby being born on board and needed to greet the mother to congratulate her. She met me with a beaming smile and an immediate moment of recognition from when we met earlier.

“Hello again.” She beamed. “We keep on meeting where all the action happens. Maybe you are this ships good luck charm.” Jodie looked at me quizzically. I explained how I came across her and the team earlier. I introduced Jodie and Adriana gave her a similar ‘just off the cheek’ kiss like she did for me earlier. We waved our goodbyes as the door opened again, the lady from the medical team popping out the room to grab the crib and saying 10-15 minutes to Adriana and the team.

As we walked the few steps up to our room and swiped out key to get in we both burst into giggles. That was certainly an interesting day. Jodie grinned at me. “Maybe we should give them some fun noises to listen to when they’re recording?” I looked at her, instinctively knowing what she meant – her hand had been caressing my leg and knee all through dinner. Without uttering another word between us, we threw our clothes into a corner of the room, I climbed (and sank) into the bed and lay back as she crawled on top of me, her popped out belly button tracing a pattern from my crotch to my navel which sent me into a spin. As she lowered herself down onto my erection in a reverse cowgirl style, our frenzied moans and grunts rang out. My eyes following the rhythmic bouncing of her belly and breasts as she oscillated on top of me. Our climaxes were announced with joint moans, echoing within the confined space of the cabin. Who knows if we were ever caught on camera or if the rooms really were well soundproofed – we never got around to watching that interview.

[thatimageoftomscott]

it was so much worse than me acting like a nervous fan. similarly i don’t really know people unless im experiencing levels of obsession that i should really talk to a therapist about so i wasn’t overly familiar with her, id heard her on the podcast but never seen her.

CONTEXT - the venue had two queues, standard and access, i was in access and i was the first one there and for quite a while the only one there, so i looked really out of place and lots of people kept thinking i was one of the organisers, and not a fan just waiting to go in and be gay and drool over a man nearly old enough to be my dad, so a number of people came up asking me questions that i barely had answers for.

so i’m just standing around waiting, and then i see her (not knowing who she is) walk up to the front door trying to get in. i see what she’s doing and im a little confused cos the booking told us when doors open and we’re clearly all still queuing, but she walked up with intention, she clearly looked like she thought she was meant to do that.

MORE CONTEXT - the access queue was apparently also the guest list queue, so i thought maybe she’s one of his friends and that’s why she’s wanting to go inside.

she then sees me standing by the side door watching her and comes up to me and asks me something, i can’t remember what she said but i think it was basically along the lines of how do i get in.

and i tell you

i looked her in the face and said

“what are you here for?”

WHAT ARE YOU HERE FOR?????? like it’s not fucking obvious?!??!?

what i meant by that was where do you think you’re supposed to be? she clearly thought she was meant to be somewhere other than outside with us so i was trying to ascertain why she was here and why she was trying to get inside so i could try and see if i could help work out what she needed to do. she pulled a bit of a face at me like id said something stupid, as is my specialty, and went back to the door where eventually got let in and everything was resolved.

then i see her walk out on stage and im like oh my fucking god and die a little on the inside when i realise what i did.

some of his other friends came and stood with me in the queue though and we chatted and they were really nice and one came up to me and the end and gave me a ✨double fist bump!!✨ i then frantically went looking for tom so i could give him his gift (with the duckie on it and the glue definitely still wet cos i had been awake all night making it, while also trying to re-sew my top, and only finished it a few hours prior), i made noises at him that i am certain weren’t actually words, gave him his gift, and then ran away.

i still had a great day though and i really hope they do more live shows in the future cos it was so much fun

craaazy. sadly you are 100% right, this IS so much worse than being a nervous fan. how early did you go to be the first one there 😭 and that sounds like an absolute trainwreck of a social interaction but its okay. "some of his other friends" aaaw that's sweet. was there anyone you recognized? wish i could make intelligible noises at tom and give him a duckie too. glad you had fun !!!!!

[valoisfulcanellideux]

IMPORTANT: If you read my fics but you don't have an account on AO3, please read this post 👇

ETA: I've amended this post since first making it. I realised that I can lock commenting only to registered users. So I won't be locking the ability to read my fics to registered users; only the ability to comment on them.

I've finally been hit by one of the spambots that come in waves on AO3. Apparently a ton of fics have been hit today by a bot created by some utter waste of space that's posting 'scary/creepy' images in the comments.

This bot - alongside the negging bot and the AI-accusing bot - have become active again this week. They always post using a Guest account, which means that - if you don't lock commenting down to registered users only - the bots can (and eventually will) post whatever the fuck they want in your comments.

The latest chapter of AToTD just got hit with a large image in the comments. Luckily, I saw the email alert (and of course I immediately got excited, because so far that chapter has had a lot of views without a single reaction, so my "Oh, I got a comment!" brain got all excited, only to see it was this fucking shit, and you cannot imagine how fucking depressing that was; I could honestly cry right now), I froze the comment thread immediately, and reported the comment as spam.

But this is a heads-up, and I know that posting it this close to Christmas means that hardly anyone is going to see it, but I'm posting it now regardless:

Commenting on all my fics is now locked to registered users only.

This means that if you don't have an account you won't be able to comment on any of my fics, so please get on the waiting list for an account. The current wait is approximately two weeks, but with this huge ramp-up in the amount of bot-spam, expect more writers to lock their fics, and more people to get on the list for accounts, which means the waiting list will get even longer.

To get in the queue for an AO3 account, go here:

I only have four or five people reading AToTD anyway (well, four or five people who are commenting, at least) and they all have accounts. But I have an untold number of silent readers, so if you're one of them and you think that one day you might want to comment, then I'm afraid you'll need to get yourself an account.

I'm really sorry I'm having to do this. I've avoided comment-locking my fics throughout all the previous waves of bot-spam and the concerns over AI-scraping, but this is honestly the last straw.

[bardolatrycore]

Popping in from hiatus for an update!

For those wondering why my fics look like they've vanished from ao3: due to lore.fm's fuckery back in May, I locked my works to only be visible to registered AO3 users.

And this new nonsense with rivd.net means they're staying locked for the time being. I love guest kudos/comments and hope to unlock them one day, but I have to protect my works. If you don't already have an ao3 account, I highly recommend it - it's free!

In the meantime, I revamped my fic masterlist! It's more accessible (the font on the last one was tiny) and notes the fics requiring an ao3 account to read in full - which is only two atm. Shorter ones you can read on tumblr...which you need an account for soooo

Getting the queue back up and finally doing those ask games are also on my to do list. They've been in my drafts for ages 😅

[my-chaos-radio]

Release: June 16, 2017

Lyrics:

All my ladies

(What you, what you gon' do?)

All my ladies

Wind to the left, sway to the right

Drop it down low and take it back high (who?)

Bitch, I don't need introduction (why?)

Follow my simple instruction

Wind to the left, sway to the right

Drop it down low and take it back high (who?)

Bitch, I don't need introduction (why?)

Follow my simple instruction

You see me I do what I gotta do, oh yeah

On the guest list, no need to queue, oh yeah

Me and my crew, we got the juice, oh yeah

So come here, let me mentor you, well

Some say I'm bossy 'cause I am the boss

Buy anything, I don't care what it cost

Stacked like casino, Armani, Moschino

If you're The Supreme, then I'm Diana Ross

All my ladies

Wind to the left, sway to the right

Drop it down low and take it back high (who?)

Bitch, I don't need introduction (why?)

Follow my simple instruction

Wind to the left, sway to the right

Drop it down low and take it back high (who?)

Bitch, I don't need introduction (why?)

Follow my simple instruction

report to the dance floor when I say, oh yeah

(Step two) tell mom you'll be out 'til late, oh yeah

(Step three) pull up your bumper, cock up your waist, oh yeah

(Step four) grab somebody, now face to face, and say

Say that you're bossy 'cause you are the boss

Buy anything, you don't care what it costs

Stacked like casino, Armani, Moschino

If you're The Supreme, then I'm Diana Ross

All my ladies

Wind to the left, sway to the right

Drop it down low and take it back high (who?)

Bitch, I don't need introduction (why?)

Follow my simple instruction

Wind to the left, sway to the right

Drop it down low and take it back high (who?)

Bitch, I don't need introduction (why?)

Follow my simple instruction

Yo, see me 'av everyting what you want, put it pon me

The Dona the realest star 'cause she don't play

They say I'm loco, di way me do me ting

Gyal haffi back up, back up pon it

Gyal haffi stack up, stack up pon it

(All my ladies) bad gyal, bad gyal

'Nuff a dey ting, 'nuff a dey ting, say enough a dey ting

Bad gyal, bad gyal

Mashin' up di ting, mash up di ting pon him

Say that you're bossy 'cause you are the boss

Buy anything, you don't care what it costs

Stacked like casino, Armani, Moschino

If you're The Supreme, then I'm Diana Ross

All my ladies

Wind to the left, sway to the right

Drop it down low and take it back high (who?)

Bitch, I don't need introduction (why?)

Follow my simple instruction

Wind to the left, sway to the right

Drop it down low and take it back high (who?)

Bitch, I don't need introduction (why?)

Follow my simple instruction (who? Why?)

Songwriter:

Bitch, I don't need introduction

Follow my simple instruction (who? Why?)

Bitch, I don't need introduction

Follow my simple instruction

Demi Lovato / Uzoechi Emenike / Stephanie Allen / Timucin Aluo

SongFacts:

👉📖

[daisiesonafield-blog]

Info for Faith In The Future World Tour LOS ANGELES, CA - JUN 30 2023

With special guests THE SNUTS & ANDREW CUSHIN!

Important Times:

5:30 PM - Doors Open

7:00 PM - Andrew Cushin

8:00 PM - The Snuts

9:00 PM - Louis Tomlinson

Times are all approximate and subject to change.

General admission (pit tickets):

OVERNIGHT CAMPING IS NOT ALLOWED AT THE VENUE!

Guests can begin lining up no earlier than 8AM on the day of show, June 30.

Sequentially numbered wristbands will be put on GA guests’ wrists starting at 9AM on a first come, first served basis

Guests must have a valid ticket to receive a wristband, and all guests in a party must be present to receive a wristband.

Any guests that have camped overnight or arrived before 8AM will not be given wristbands and will be sent to the back of the line.

You may leave after you receive your wristband.

You may return at 3PM to queue for General Admission entry.

Security will honor wristbands from 3PM – 4PM.

After 4PM, guests will join the line on a first come, first served basis.

Loss, removal or tampering with a wristband will result in loss of place in the GA line.

Guests are not permitted to hold places in line. Please be respectful and courteous to all other guests in line.

Have your mobile tickets open and ready to scan to expedite entry upon doors opening at 5:30PM.

This policy is subject to updates & changes! PLEASE check back and check the venue’s socials and website for updates!

⚠️ HYDRATION ADVISORY ⚠️

Hydrate before the show, while waiting in line and during the show

For optimal hydration drink something with electrolytes such as Gatorade or LiquidIV

Eat well!

Here are important things to know:

The venue is OUTDOORS!

Most of the venue is cashless! Pay with card or mobile pay!

Shuttles: shuttles are available to take you to and from the Hollywood Bowl from allover LA County ($6-7) info here and buy here.

Parking: parking is limited at the Hollywood Bowl. Closer lots sold out. Currently available lots $20, buy here, info and map here. No overnight parking. You may need to walk a lot, wear comfortable shoes.

ADA info here 

Text “BOWL” to our Courtesy Concern Line on 69050 for onsite assistance & reporting

Cameras: No cameras with detachable or extended lenses. No forms of camera stand (including monopods). No selfie sticks. No GoPros or audio/video recording devices. No drones.

Water: You can bring your own water and beverage bottles. There are 3 water stations throughout the Hollywood Bowl.

Food & drink: You’re welcome to bring your own food and drink to the Hollywood Bowl.

Alcohol: Feel free to bring wine bottles, wine glasses and beer bottles inside

All containers, picnic baskets and coolers must be able to fit under your seats or within your box. Containers, picnic baskets, and coolers measuring more than 15 inches wide, 15 inches high, or 22 inches long won’t be allowed past the ticket gates.

Food and beverage info and menus here.

NO tailgating in any of the parking lots.

NO kegs of any kind.

NO vending or vendor village.

NO trailers or campers.

NO Marijuana or any cannabis products

NO drugs

NO smoking in the bowl except in outside designated areas, map here.

NO chairs

NO laser pointers or glow sticks

NO umbrellas

NO Fireworks, explosives and aerosols

NO knives, firearms, Brass knuckles, Tasers & mace/pepper spray, razor blades, box cutters, scissors and unsafe personal accessories or any other weapons of any kind

NO throwable items of any kind such as frisbees, balls, or beach balls.

NO electronic devices such as iPads, tablets, and laptops.

NO Bicycles, scooters, Segways, hoverboards, skateboards and roller blades

Reentry allowed, must show ticket for reentry.

VIEW VENUE MAP 

VIEW SEAT MAP

*This list is not exhaustive. Items not appearing on the list may still be prohibited at the discretion of Security

For more details click here

Bag Policy:

All bags must be smaller than 15 inches wide, 15 inches high, or 22 inches long

Banners, signs and flag policy:

NO signs

Small flags allowed

No poles, sticks or spikes

Contact:

For additional questions please call the venue at 323.850.2000. You can also access their website. Email: information@laphil.org. Check their twitter here and IG here for updates. Address: Hollywood Bowl, 2301 N Highland Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90068

[dreamparkdiaries]

Water ride Showcase: Dudley Do-Right's Ripsaw Falls

Staying in Universal's Islands of Adventure, Dudley Do-Right's Ripsaw Falls is a log flume water ride based on the Dudley Do-Right cartoons. Located right before the exit to Toon Lagoon, Ripsaw Falls invites guests to hop in and join Dudley as he goes across the Canadian wilderness to rescue Nell from the dreaded Snidely Whiplash. Along the way, you'll see little punny jokes and cartoon humor along both the inside and outside portion of the tracks.

The ride starts off in the queue as you start to pass through Snidely's hideout, a theater showing poster of movie parodies like Jaws, E.T., Three men and a baby, and silence of the lambs, and a room show casing a talking bear and beaver head. If you listen closely, you can hear the bear making fun of Disney referencing the Country Bears as well as It's a Small World. During the trip through the backstage of the theater, you'll see Nell being taken from her dressing room by Snidely Whiplash setting up the plot of our ride. As you enter the main screening room, you and your party will boarding the logs as old clips from the Dudley Do-Right are shown on the screen a head. On the right side of the log, a short loading video is played to help guests get situated in the log.

As you start your journey through the ride, you will come across many scenes featuring our brave hero's journey to find and save Nell from the evil Snidely. Be on the look out for several references to rides from the Disney parks. Some of the jokes make fun of such rides as Splash Mountain as well as the famous fake out scene from Mr. Toad's Wild Ride which leads to our first drop. (If you're not familiar, right before the final scene of Mr. Toad's Wild Ride you are about to drive right into a train.) After going down the final drop, you see a scene with Snidely trying to trick a beaver into giving him the jail key similar to the final scene of Pirates of the Caribbean.

Tips for this ride:

Just like Popeye, try to go on this ride first thing that day. You will get soaked and at least by the end of the day you'll get dried off.

This is a regular log flume vehicle. If you have long legs and are worried about how comfortable you'll be in the ride, please take advantage of the tester seat located near the entrance. This rule is true for most rides throughout many theme parks.

When preparing an outfit, I would still say no to jean shorts or any other material that will make you chaff after getting wet. My personal go to are bike shorts, but you can wear whatever works for you.

I still stand by my Crocs over regular sandals. They will still get dry by the end of the day, and actually stay on your feet. I would say Hey Dudes would be okay too, but I haven't tried those shoes in the theme parks yet.

If you truly need to have your phone with you on the ride, please get one of those water proof cases. They have cheap ones at Five Below that will work just fine.

If you are trying to get dry quickly, they do have large personal dryers that you can share with your group.

I would also not recommend this ride if the high for the day doesn't reach past at least 85°F let alone start off the day at 81°F or so. You will be cold and miserable for the rest of the day, and if you are of the plus size group it will be difficult to find dry clothes to change into in the park. I know because I've tried.

Dudley Do-Right Ripsaw Falls is another favorite for those who love classic cartoons and the classic feel of a log flume ride. If you are ever worried about getting too wet, it is always okay to bring a poncho, and test seats are your friend.

With one more water ride off the list, who should be next?

[theaussiesmoker]

BBQ Catering Company Cornwall

When it comes to event catering in Cornwall, food that’s fresh, flavourful, and unforgettable is essential. Enter The Aussie Smoker UK, a standout BBQ catering company delivering mouth-watering, slow-smoked delights with an unmistakable Aussie twist. Whether you're planning a wedding, corporate function, festival, or garden party, this Cornish catering gem is ready to fire up the smoker and make your event sizzle.

Authentic Aussie-Style BBQ in the Heart of Cornwall

BBQ catering in Cornwall is evolving – and The Aussie Smoker UK is leading the way. Their approach is inspired by traditional Australian barbecue techniques, paired with the slow-cooked, smoky magic of American-style smokehouses. The result? Bold, rich flavours and perfectly tender meats that fall apart with every bite.

But what truly sets this company apart is their passion. Founded by an Australian with a deep love for smoky, fire-cooked food, The Aussie Smoker UK blends global BBQ traditions with local Cornish ingredients to create a menu that’s both authentic and fresh.

A BBQ Menu to Suit Every Taste

The Aussie Smoker UK offers an impressive and flexible menu, perfect for all kinds of occasions. Their signature dishes include:

14-Hour Smoked Brisket – tender, juicy and packed with rich, smoky flavour

BBQ Pulled Pork – slow-cooked and shredded to perfection

Chicken Wings & Thighs – flame-grilled and tossed in signature sauces

Sticky BBQ Ribs – sweet, smoky, and incredibly moreish

BBQ Jackfruit & Veggie Skewers – plant-based options that are just as delicious

Whether you’re catering for a meat-loving crowd or need vegetarian and vegan options, The Aussie Smoker UK ensures no guest is left hungry. They also offer a variety of sides, including slaw, loaded fries, BBQ beans, fresh salads, and artisan bread rolls.

Wedding Catering in Cornwall with a Smoky Twist

Your wedding day should be unforgettable – and the food plays a major part. For couples seeking something relaxed, flavoursome, and fun, The Aussie Smoker UK delivers BBQ wedding catering that hits all the right notes.

Imagine your guests enjoying freshly smoked brisket and BBQ sliders under a marquee, surrounded by the Cornish countryside. Whether you’re planning a beach wedding, rustic barn celebration, or countryside festival vibe, their mobile smoker setup brings the theatre and taste of authentic BBQ to your special day.

Couples can choose from:

BBQ buffets

Grazing tables

Street food-style service

Late-night snacks like smoked mac & cheese bites or pulled pork sliders

The team works closely with you to design a menu and service style that fits your theme, budget, and guest list. Friendly, professional, and reliable – they make wedding planning easy, so you can focus on celebrating.

Perfect for Corporate Events, Parties, and Festivals

Planning a corporate gathering or staff party in Cornwall? Hosting a community event or local festival? The Aussie Smoker UK offers scalable catering for events of all sizes.

Their mobile catering setup is fully self-contained and visually striking, making it ideal for outdoor functions, markets, and family events. With the aroma of wood smoke drifting through the air and meats sizzling on the smoker, guests are instantly drawn in.

For corporate clients, they offer:

Tailored packages for different group sizes

Efficient service to keep queues short and satisfaction high

Custom menus that cater to dietary preferences and themes

From birthdays to anniversaries, graduation parties to business lunches – The Aussie Smoker UK brings the same energy, flavour, and professionalism to every occasion.

Local Ingredients, World-Class BBQ

One of the strengths of The Aussie Smoker UK is their commitment to locally sourced produce. They use top-quality Cornish meats, vegetables, and ingredients wherever possible – supporting local farmers and ensuring freshness in every bite.

But it’s not just about the ingredients. It’s the slow-smoking process, the careful selection of wood (like oak and hickory), and the expert timing that brings the magic. Every item on their menu is cooked low and slow – sometimes for up to 16 hours – to deliver deep, rich BBQ flavour that’s hard to beat.

This dedication to quality and authenticity makes them one of the most sought-after BBQ caterers in the region.

The Aussie Smoker UK: More Than Just Food

Hiring The Aussie Smoker UK isn’t just about feeding your guests – it’s about creating an experience. Their professional team goes above and beyond to deliver seamless service from start to finish.

Here’s what you can expect:

Free menu consultations

Tailored quotes based on your event type, size, and preferences

Punctual setup and breakdown – no fuss, no mess

Interactive service that engages your guests

Flexible dietary options and allergen-aware preparation

They’ve built a strong reputation across Cornwall for their friendly attitude, consistent quality, and the ability to turn any gathering into a flavour-packed celebration.

What Clients Are Saying

“The Aussie Smoker catered our wedding in St Ives and blew us away. The food was incredible and the team were so friendly and professional. 10/10!” – Emily & Dan

“We booked them for our summer company BBQ. The setup looked amazing and the food was next-level good. Everyone was impressed.” – James, Falmouth

“Fantastic service and great food! They catered our family reunion and made it really special. Even the vegetarians were happy!” – Sarah, Truro

Book Your BBQ Event in Cornwall Today

With event dates filling up fast, especially during summer and wedding season, early booking is recommended. The Aussie Smoker UK offers catering all over Cornwall, including Newquay, Padstow, Truro, St Ives, Falmouth, and surrounding areas.

You can get in touch via their website or social media to request a quote, check availability, or start planning your perfect BBQ menu.