#on the other hand i am autistic + a lesbian

[midwestgender]

for every sports team in a highschool they should have two. one for the people who are actually good at it on competitive level and then one for people who just want to do it for fun/exercise. i think Fuck Around teams would be immensely popular actually

[bioethicists]

you're allowed to completely abandon the project of searching for an objective 'true self'. you're likely never going to find some indisputable thing inside you that proves that you Really Are a lesbian or a man or autistic or an empath or an artist or whatever you're troubled over. you can just call yourself whatever (or nothing). you can just do the things that give you the most joy without obsessing over whether that makes you x or y.

there's nothing wrong with naming your experiences but do it with a light hand. do it with the knowledge that these labels are constantly shifting, simplistic social constructions which describe things you do; they don't cause them. these identities are projects of understanding between you + the world around you + you're allowed to abandon your role in that project. you're allowed to say "whatever i am to you is meaningless to me". even though we are all still forced to suffer the material consequences of others' perceptions of 'what we are', i personally feel absolutely freed by letting go of my gender + madness- i am unconcerned with what i am, only with what i feel + think + do.

[txttletale]

could you elaborate on your thoughts on boom and 73 yards ( i agree with you i am just struggling to put into words why.)

boom was whatever. the initial conceit of the doctor being trapped and having to stay calm was really cool! i really like that. the ambulances that euthanize you if you're not deemed worthy of medical care and the tacky chatgpt hologram ghosts were both really cool ideas. it just doesn't stick the landing for me, the twists are contrived and fall apart given any thought whatsoever. like what the fuck were any of the soldiers Doing if there just straight up weren't any enemies. it's a twist that sounds cool to say more than it has any meaningful impact on the story or the stakes. i guess 'the arms manuifacturer created a fake conflict' is the intended emtional stakes there but that would hit like a hundred times harder if it was an actual conflict between two factions and people were dying, right? like if anything sending a christian militia to blow themselves up tae fuck on a nowhere planet instead of presumably killing actual living people is an improvement, surely?

also the resolution was dumb as fuck lol i am a huge hater of power of love saves the day shit not because i'm a cynical misanthrope but because it never fails to make me say 'oh so i guess nobody ever loved anybody before lol' and this is no exception like if one chatbot can shut down the whole operation beacuse he loves his daughter are we meant to believe that no other parents or hell nobody who loved anybody else for any reason died in this fake war before? it's cheap and schmaltzy and unearned. anyway the first twentyish minutes of this are all-time great doctor who and gatwa/gibson were incredible in it but it absolutely falls apart into a confused pileo f some of the worst Moffatisms at the end

73 yards on the other hand was incredible! obviously like it requires you to approach it with a different mindset to most of doctor who, right, doctor who usually furnishes you with the big explanation scnee where the doctor says 'well the ghosts were actually particle wave vectorforms created with the necros radiation from the god-king's techsceptre' or whatever--this is the usual narrative mode of sci-fi--but 73 yards is fantasy, right, this is the twilight zone, this is 'wouldn't that be fucked up?'. i interrogate the technical and logical specifics of boom so much when i think about it because that's the language boom is speaking, boom is framing itself within this logical, a-to-b worldview, the satisfying click-together puzzlebox. but 73 yards is a nightmare or a folk tale, right? kate stewart¹ says it herself, 'when faced with the inexplicable, we make up rules and apply them to it'.

so yknow reading it that way it all clicks together beautifully, right, (apart from russel t davies' embarassing swing and miss at Political Commentary in the middle. we get it davies you wrote years and years. we know. trust me we know). the doctor and ruby disrupt the binding circle, free mad jack, and are punished -- the doctor, as perpetrator, with being banished (perhaps in jack's place) and ruby with her worst fear coming true constantly, until ruby defeats mad jack, re-sealing him and fixing what she broke, at which point the circle rewards her by reversing the punishments. and the core horror i think is very effective and unsettling! the idea that there is something that someone could say to turn everyone against you, the closest people to you in your life, your own family, the institutions that are meant to deal with the exact problem you're having--that's fucking terrifying! and yknow i think especially as an autistic trans lesbian something that speaks to me a lot

so yeah. i think that boom establishes its logics and framework and then trips and falls onto its face while 73 yards does the same and then makes perfect use of them. that said i think in 20 years people who are autistic about doctor who will be like 'did you know in the 2020s there were two episodes in a row where the doctor caused the entire plot to happen by stepping on something' and thjatll be the main thing they're remembered for

[southernreaches]

copying @gallusneves with this kind of poll hehe :3

please feel free to do it too !! and tag me!! i wanna vote :D

@aeducanthaig @roseeway im only tagging you two because i'm a fag and i want you to see it. actually i don't think red has played any of these so red you're picking based on vibes. i will outline the vibes.

yrliet: you and me against the world, soulmates, completely different cultures of two people who were raised to hate each other finding solace and understanding in one another, asexual romance with a spiritual mental connection through meditation and the climax of the romance is hand holding, i have literally never been touched by or changed by a character as much as yrliet

gale: scholar with huge ego finds you promising and likes to teach you but complains about other students, grand gestures and grand displays of affection and love, would grant you godhood if you asked, would give you everything you have ever wanted if you only asked, intense low self worth and your love helps him heal... also if you become a mindflayer he is disgustingly down bad he's a freak. also hes so bad at flirting he will say hes horny in front of all ur friends while ur covered in blood and guts cuz he thinks u killing shit is hot. freak. also he proposes to you and hes totally cool with u saying no

sera: chaos gf who just wants to have fun and enjoy herself who wants things to be simple and easy to understand, while i hc everyone as autistic she's The Most autistic, shes a lesbian, she woofs at hot women, she had cookies ruined for her and she says she wants to make cookies a thing between you both 'us cookies' so she can like them again, she proposes to you and is so excited to be your wife, she throws bees at people, she beats the shit out of rich people, she is so sweet and is a MASSIVE inspiration for afhiri i won't lie

samara: very very similar to yrliet in a lot of ways, milf, says shes past the point in her life where she can love that her duty demands she not be distracted by it that she is too old to do this again blah blah a billion excuses but she clearly likes you!!, when you help her finish her duty and do as she has always wanted she finally feels like maybe she can be with you now and try it

there u go red i hope this helps. null if u think i described someone poorly i am so sorry i rushed

[hellyeahscarleteen]

"I have a long history of difficulty with interpersonal interactions, and I’ve always struggled to find a place for myself amongst everyone else. My adolescence was spent feeling out of the loop. A lot of neurodivergent people will doubtlessly relate to these experiences, and a lot of queer people can as well. If you happen to belong to both of those demographics, join the club! You’re in good company. I am an autistic, genderfluid lesbian, and experience these three identifiers as tightly intertwined. It’s not just me. Studies in publications like Autism: The International Journal of Research and Practice and Autism Research: Official Journal of the International Society for Autism Research, indicate a proven correlation between autism and non-cisheteronormative expressions of gender and sexual orientation and identity. More anecdotally, just about every autistic person within the reach of my social circle is some flavor of queer, so perhaps both groups have a tendency to flock together. When I realized I liked women, I thought that that was the answer to my issues with relating to others. Boys flirting with me was always uncomfortable, but those days were over! Yet, I still couldn’t crack whatever code everyone else knew. Even when women made passes at me, I still felt out of my depth. Everyone had expectations, and partners looked at me like I had two heads when I didn’t understand them. People relied too heavily on innuendo, or body language. I wished for some kind of field guide, imagining myself exploring some faraway jungle, full of girls wanting to compare hand sizes. It wasn’t until discovering that I am autistic that I could contextualize the way my brain worked. I wasn’t unfeeling, I just perceived things differently." Read the rest of Axis Of Autism: Being Autistic, Lesbian and Genderfluid, new today from Clove Kelly Hernandez

[frozenjokes]

what is everyone’s love language/how they best express their affection…..iirc you’ve talked abt this in a fic or a post (scar is touch, cub is qualitt time, i forget grian) but i want to hear it Again!!! this has nothing to do w any fic planning btw :3 i am a normal guy w normal thoughts and behaviors all the time

(side note — if we genderbent/hit all of them with the lesbian ray, would you be chill w that? don’t wanna write stuff abt them and then you just feel weird abt it 🫶)

life would be so much better if they were all girls because then grian could call other women cunts and I wouldn’t have to erase it (enthusiastic yes)

Scar is huge on touch, yes he is the ultimate guy Big Toucher. A lonely Scar will be down on his luck in a fight, say ‘hey what if we chose love instead’ and get his nose broken. If you’re a fan approaching him you are going to Get Hugged. If you’re anyone he remotely knows you’re going to Get Crushed. I imagine the strongest of his hugs are reserved for cubfan135 and skizzleman. I don’t even know if Skizz has been mentioned by name in these fics but he’s there. To me. He does love to bother Grian but he is a little more wary because of the one time when Grian first met Micah (alter ego) Grian told him he has bad hands and Scar has been thinking about the /derogatory/ ever since. Scar does actually have differently textured skin but it’s mostly subtle and probably only something someone who knows him well and/or someone in the middle of a deep extremely autistic mental health crisis would notice. Oops! Grian has no idea btw. He doesn’t even remember saying that. It’s safe to say actually he doesn’t remember most of that night. Quality time is also big for him. He just likes being around people. He probably also enjoys giving gifts, but more in the way of just Paying for stuff. Buying lunch. Stuff like that. It’s mostly a thoughtless gesture because he is aware of One Thing and that is that he has A Lot More Money Than Most People, but something he enjoys. Also making stuff. He likes to make things and he does NOT make them for himself he makes stuff to be Validated. On that grind for ATTENTION. this applies to coworkers as much as it applies to friends and lovers.

Cub is absolutely quality time, you pinned that well. He loves a good *sit in the presence of my friends in complete silence.* parallel play? you’ll kill him with that. I don’t think he or Grian are fantastic at cooking or anything, but Cub enjoys being talked at while he’s making dinner while Grian’s sitting at the kitchen table or vice versa. Just thought about them all doing a puzzle together and how much of a disaster that would be. Cub isn’t nearly as bad of a control freak as Grian is but he would start foaming at the mouth when witnessing Scar attempting to shove two pieces that obviously didn’t go together into one. I think Cub and Grian would get competitive about puzzles. NOT a relaxing activity when they’re doing one together. You know how with cats they each have the Same Food in different bowls but they just HAVE TO KNOW what the other is eating because it MUST BE BETTER. them with different parts of a puzzle. but both of them have resource aggression. They’re having fun. Get them two different puzzles and they’ll play nice. The puzzles can’t be the same piece count thought because then they’ll start racing to finish them first. Both of them know this very well.

Cub isn’t a psych major but I feel like he also expresses that Weirdo Autistic Psych Major Affection with the piecing people out and puzzling out all the different aspects of their personality into boxes and lists. He is studying you. This fuck isn’t just ’spacing out in your direction’ he is looking directly at you and wondering what your fucking problem is. The only exception to this is Grian, only because he’s known Grian for so long that doing this is literally just exhausting. He’s given up. ‘hi, my boyfriend saw you from across the bar and was wondering what the fuck is wrong with you’

Grian I think also has a quality time thing going on but it falls under more of a line of Shenanigans. Guy that LOVES to make a scene. The CuteGuy and HotGuy dynamic appeals to him so much because it’s just drama and fun. Guy that loves to be sneaky with his friends. do. do crime. Start a funny cult with his good friend mumbo jumbo and party alllll night but EVIL. He should really make ocs and start rping with mumbo. Scar would be shit at rp despite spending all of his life playing different character versions of himself he would be so bad. Cub. I don’t know. It doesn’t Quite seem like something he’d be super interested in, but he would listen to Grian talk about his ocs. Shenanigans can also mean arts and crafts. He loves a good arts and crafts. It’s one of the only ways to stop him from being so competitive. Indulge him in his interests and he will kiss you on the mouth. Type of 30 yr old at the sleep over pajama party to suggest prank calling random numbers. Or truth or dare. This cunt would be ALL OVER truth or dare oh my god. He makes me sick. Fun fact, if you want a fun rp idea, putting your whole cast together and making them play truth or dare is Really great. It gets old, but it’s a fantastic once in a while thing.

it’s been an hour help

[dallonwrites]

lover boy - wip (re)intro

How do you navigate love after losing the person you loved the most?

I realised I don't like writing WIP intros where I just list everything super neatly + have a nice official summary so I am just going to infodump!! Lover Boy is an Adult Literary/Historical novel set in the late 1980s that follows a gay man's navigation of love, sexuality, community and grief after losing his best friend to AIDS. It's inspired by my own experiences of grief + caretaking and the dissertation I did on grief in queer AIDS narratives. It follows Beau, my beautiful special boy, and is like patchwork quilt of all of his avenues of love -- romantic, sexual, platonic, familial, communal, self -- that is stitched together with the grief from this one major loss. This is paralleled with chronological flashbacks telling the story of Bobby's illness, and how Beau took care of him.

Beau and Bobby are best friends who were platonically in love with each other, who had to adapt their relationship as Bobby got sicker and Beau became his caretaker, and in the midst of this adversity became closer than ever. Beau is a lover of love in all ways, who thinks the best holidays Halloween and Valentines Day, who loves sex but is bad at not falling in love afterwards, who has a soft heart, who also has a massive crush on George Michael. Bobby loved his life, his friends and going to the club with them, scenic hikes and swimming, his pet snake named Judas, leather and heavy metal and activism and also the Muppets (his fave was Gonzo btw). He was obsessed with volcanoes and wanted to be a volcanologist. And Beau misses him so much!!! He is trying to understand what his life is now after losing such a big part of it. He is trying to understand what kind of love he wants. He also is trying really hard not to fall back in love with his ex boyfriend who is back in the picture. And he is not really doing any of this well!!

Other features of this novel:

Gay + Autistic protagonist who doesn't know he is autistic but his special interest is horror movies and it shows (favourites are anything monstrous + full of bloodsoaked practical effects. Favourite of all time is The Lost Boys). Beau literally looks towards horror movies to try and understand grief and loss

Protagonist is a guy who actively wants to be haunted and is looking for any signs of ghosts

Lesbian + Gay + Bi + Trans + everything solidarity. An honouring of that history. Exploration on how the AIDS crisis shaped and reshaped community and identity because well, I did an entire dissertation on it and I am not putting that to waste!!! It is interesting and important!!

A narrative that is brutally honest about grief and death, and all the ways it is messy and complicated. A narrative that also doesn't always take itself seriously because sadness and joy are always holding hands

Narrative that plays around with form (video transcripts, letters, journal entries, descriptions of art) and POV (past + present tense blended together, third person present that often dips into second)

Exploration of caretaking on a community level and an intimate, one to one level. Look into how love is often all the little ways we help each other hold on.

Exploration of disability and sickness and how it shapes your identity, your relationship with yourself and others, especially when you're young (I also have a novella planned actually exploring this from Bobby's POV, but you didn't hear that from me!!!!)

The idea that grief never gets smaller, just your life grows around it

The idea that you can love your friends!!! You can be in love with them!! And that love is no "lesser" than romantic love, and it is just as beautiful and big and bright. Even when Beau navigates romantic relationships, these aren't put on a pedestal above any other type of love

A golden retriever named Atlas (Beau's own beautiful, special boy)

This is a personal project that I'm not publishing, but it means a lot to me so I will talk about it a lot!!! I've been playing around with it in its current form for about a year now and am finally making a dent in an actual first draft. My want is to share long, in depth pieces about how I navigate writing a story like this somewhere like Substack, and also all the fun of drafting it along the way. Expect infodumps and excerpts!!!

[dykeby]

🏳️‍🌈💚READ IF INTERACTING💚🏳️‍⚧️

✨️about me✨️

an autistic non binary lesbian

transmasc/butch, a big dyke basically

21

they/them, smidge of he/him

I have 1 tattoo but I wanna be COVERED

thinking of piercings

I want top surgery

wanna work out more too

✨️feel free to ask more questions if you'd like✨️

❤️‍🩹 boundaries ❤️‍🩹

I am a stone dom top, I will not sub or bottom

I am kinky and into bdsm, some things I'm into can be seen as extreme but I would like to remind people this is about fantasy and control. I only enjoy it because my partners do and I get off more on the trust it takes

AFTERCARE

that goes for both dom's and sub's and I am passionate about it even if I never explicitly write it into a post

NOT INTO SCAT OR WATERSPORTS

willing to explore omorashi however

💦 kinks 💦

restraining by any means

in particular ropes and my hands

sadism/masochism

spanking, manhandling, rough play, wax play, knife play, orgasm control, overstim

ownership

BITING, I go feral for marking and I like mutual ownership, I'm yours as much as you're mine

collars, pet play or just simple asphyxiation

breeding, free use, somno

Praise

I can be a soft person sometimes and mixing in praise with some roughness is a great time, if I'm not doing it in a scene then it'll happen in the aftercare for sure

💦 thats the main ones, others could pop up and I'll add them to the list as it goes, I will always tag 💦

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for wanting to cut off this guy?

Summary: I(f16) Met Aiden(m16) a few months ago, and am becoming increasingly aware that I have a lot of issues with him. However, he clearly wants to be friends with me, and I feel bad cutting him off. I gave him the wrong idea about me when we met, we very little in common, and our views contrast quite a bit. He’s also vented to me without warning a few times. He’s autistic and doesn’t have much experience with friends (according to the mom of our mutual friend Bea (f16), also autistic) and I don’t think he means to hurt anyone, but some of the things he does really stress me out regardless.

In May, I got invited to Bea’s birthday party, which was just me, Bea, her mom, and Aiden. In a hotel pool. We were all eating at a picnic table and I started to get incredibly anxious, and tried to talk to Aiden to break the tension since he’d been looking at me for a while, presumably because I looked like absolute death. He eventually mentioned something about animals (cool, a shared interest). Anyway due to both the stress, and the unlimited cool-bug-facts stored in my brain, I started rambling and we talked for around an hour.

...Assorted red flags in this conversation…

- Aiden’s “crazy ex friend” made some harassment allegations against him.

- “Yeah we should totally go hiking sometime, guy I don’t know!”

- Aiden thinks vegans are stupid and climate change isn’t real (I was talking about how I plan on going into ecology lmao)

- Aiden asks me to make a contact in his phone

The problems started when he immediately got really attached to me. I was way friendlier than normal that day and that’s entirely on me.

My birthday was a few days after Bea’s party. Aiden found out, and despite me specifically telling him I don’t like getting gifts, brought a gift bag to class, which included a card with $50. I completely panicked and tried to shove the money into his hands, but he kept stopping me while laughing. I felt awful because we hadn’t even properly spoken since the party.

That night he texted me saying he wasn’t sorry for giving me the money, followed by a paragraph about how everyone had failed him, how teachers have told him he’s better off dead, and how his few friends are the only thing keeping him from committing suicide. People vent to me a lot, but I really didn’t know how to deal with it from someone I barely knew. I just told him that he doesn’t need to buy my friendship. I confided in my mom about it and she told me to stop talking to him, and that I absolutely wasn’t allowed to see him outside of school.

Aiden started dating Bea a week after that. Bea had said before that she wasn’t interested in Aiden when her mom teased her about his crush on her. I was worried that she just said yes because she typically goes along with what other people want. I’ve hardly ever gotten her to share her opinions outside of whatever her mom tells her. I later found out from my friend Kayla (f16) that Aiden was trashing Bea’s dyed hair and generally being misogynistic about “unnatural women”

Kayla also informed me that she had had an incident with Aiden, before I met him. They were at the same Halloween party and when she tried talking to him, he somehow somehow thought she was into him, and lied about being gay to the entire party before correcting himself. My friends had previously warned me that Aiden’s intentions probably weren’t platonic, but I ignored it since I’ve been out as a lesbian for years, so I could just let him know if it came down to it. Generally I started talking to him less, I didn’t have an issue with remaining friends, since I know he’s awkward with people, and his beliefs are mostly what his dad tells him to think.

Since then he’s Invited me to go hiking in other states multiple times, sent another vent text, tried to go with me to a class he’s not in, asked for advice on breaking up with Bea before going back on it, tried to follow me home from orchestra rehearsal? Invited me to dinner, to his house, and to his grandma’s.

I’m going to run out of excuses eventually, and any interaction with him seems to invite both more than what I’m comfortable with, and what my parents allow. I wish I could just text with him sometimes or something, but that’s not an option. I feel like ripping it off might be better than slowly letting him down, considering he already considers me a close friend, and I don’t want him to hurt himself, and it’s probably better if he just thinks I’m a terrible person (might be true).

Would I be in the wrong for cutting him off altogether? Am I the mean high school girl from my childhood nightmares?

What are these acronyms?

[guardian-angle22]

Tagged by @beautifulhigh & @welcometololaland to list my top 5 Tarlos scenes.

This is really going to show my Season 3 bias ngl.

#5. 2.12 "Don't make me twist your arm."/"Please do."

Their chemistry is insane when they're teasing each other downstairs and then they kiss each other so softly once they get upstairs. I'm a sucker for a good soundtrack moment and there's something iconic about having their house literally light up on fire under them while obliviously making out as Fever by Elvis Presley plays in the background. Peak cinema tbh.

#4. 3.04 "Hey, baby. Breathe."/"Welcome home, TK."

We can all agree to have these two can count as one scene, right? they go back to back. The way TK reached for Carlos as soon as he woke up and immediately noticed that Carlos wasn't breathing right even though he just woke up from a coma, is still groggy, and barely has his eyes open? soulmate shit right there. If you haven't watched this without the music. my god. do it now. & then add in how happy they both look as Carlos leads TK into the loft with his hands over his eyes, and then when TK looks around and you can see on his face when he realizes he still gets to have this despite everything? Beautiful.

#3. 3.18 "For the first time in my life, the love that I feel is infinitely more powerful than the fear of losing it."/"A thousand times yes."

I mean can I even say more about the proposal that hasn't already been said? the urgency TK felt that prompted him to wake Carlos up in the middle of the night. His speech to Carlos. All the little touches throughout. The way they both were crying by the end. It was beautiful and it was perfect for them. (the only way it could have been better is if they maybe stopped to turn on a fucking lamp)

#2. 3.08 "Hey, look at me."/"I love you."

This was their first mutual "I love you" shown on screen and while the context was heartbreaking, it was still so so sweet. Carlos being the loving caregiver, kissing TK's forehead, rubbing his knee, wanting to make sure he eats. The way Carlos tells TK to look at him and he does immediately, even though TK has been basically avoiding eye contact with everyone the entire scene will live rent free in mind for all of time, I'm sure.

#1. 3.13 "Do you have any idea how proud of you I am?"/"You're just so sweet."

Can I put the entirety of 3.13 on the list at number one? Because it's my favorite episode for them. It has so many things. It has them being domestic and flirtatious. TK being distracted by Carlos in yoga clothes. It has them fighting a bit, overcoming those obstacles, and communicating. It showed Carlos as a multidimensional character with flaws like jealousy and pettiness, but then growing through it to come to the realization that he can't be everything that TK needs at the end of the day.

But if I absolutely had to pick just one scene from it, I would chose the opening scene. TK sharing with Carlos about his meeting, finding a sponsor, & the realization of not having Gwyn around affecting his mindset. Carlos waiting up with his adorable glasses, reading articles to educate himself, telling TK how proud of him he is. TK calling him sweet and flirting with him. I just-- 🥰🥰

----

Because I'm doing this pretty late in the day, this has made it's rounds through a lot of my mutuals already. so I'm just going to tag a few people that I haven't seen do it yet (no pressure though if you're not feelin' it. but also if you have done it and I missed it let me know so I can read yours!): @morganaspendragonss @ourlegendwillbefitforverse @detective-giggles @noxsoulmate @ladytessa74 @autistic-lesbian-story-lover @tkstrandreyes @pragmatic-optimist @reyescarlos @spencessmile @poledancingghostson @sunshinestrand @mandiiigurllll

[hyper-jam]

At request of a mutual I am posting my incoherent ramblings abt this on Tumblr (some headcanon context: my Ness is non-binary, queer, and AuDHD, my Mike is transmasc, AroAce-spec, mlm, and autistic 😋😋😋)

SecurityWaiter/DreamTheory queerness is taking over my brain

Ness is someone who is so all consumingly queer. They are everything and they are nothing. They are a boygirl girlboy who is also a genderless being simply taking part in all the corners of the human experience. They are a butch lesbian, a twink, and every form of multisexual under the sun all at once. They’re gay and straight in every relationship. No matter how they dress, it is cross dressing. Everything about them is queer and they know it and love it and it’s everything

Mike on the other hand, is the experience of being nothing unless he has to be something. He doesn’t really experience attraction before Ness, and then with Ness, Ness becomes everything to him. With labels, he fits into whatever is most comfortable, but at the end of the day, he’s just him. He’s just a guy. Labels only exist for the sake of communication but if he could just exist without having expectations or explanations needed, he would enjoy that far more. He’s a man because it’s what he’s most comfortable with and practically speaking he fits just fine into that role, but he’s not a man in the way a cis man is a man, or in the way ANY other man is a man for that matter. But he’s also not a woman. But he still has experience with girlhood. It’s something that he’s spent so much time and energy getting away from, but he eventually realizes that it’s ok for him to have that. It’s HIS experience, anything can fit inside of it, and he doesn’t NEED to explain anything to anyone or simplify it into a couple words for the sake of what’s easy. He’s him, and that’s that.

Gender and sexuality aren’t things that they perfectly fit into and THATS OK. Ness LOVES it and they help Mike learn to embrace it. They are boyfriends and partners and girlfriends and soulmates and two halves of a whole. They see each other and become blind to the rest of the world. They are everything and they’re nothing and it’s AMAZING. They love every bit of each other and that’s all they need.

Some other general spewing because I have a lot of visual stuff in my head that I don’t know how to elaborate on so just have some key words ig lmao

Exploring each other’s bodies (/nsx or /sx that’s up to you ☝️☝️☝️)

Embracing each other

Gold scars

Heart eyes

In sync

Happy and scared tears

Gentle kisses

Tracing fingers

Saying I love you and truly meaning it

Biting their lips

Slow reveals and realizations

Learning what comfort is

Full laughter

Easy breaths

Only caring about each other’s opinions

Utter adoration

Ugh chat they mean everything to me like actually 💔💔💔

[postoctobrist]

I am apparently really sensitive to edibles since I never smoke and I only take edibles once in a blue moon. Last time I got too high I realized I (a lesbian with a girlfriend) wanted to fuck my femboy friend (the threesome happened a few weeks later).

This time I thought "I bet I'll have some gender thoughts this time" and that did happen, though I only really remember it through what I told my (very high but less high than me) gf. Eg "I'm like a guy but with tits and a pussy", telling her I was a guy but that I was going to keep it secret and not do anything about it ("secret gender" was def said at some point), and calling myself "mr. girlfriend" and "mr. (my very feminine first name)"

I still don't think I would do anything about it, not even with my close friends, because I honestly don't care that much (maybe that's a cope, whatever). It was helpful when my transfem friend who is getting top surgery soon told me gender is a colonial project and I shouldn't angst too much about it.

It *would* sort of explain why 99% of my friends since age 15 are trans, though they're all mostly autistic like me too. It would also make me feel like less of a chaser. On the other hand I think all of my issues with my body just come from not liking being overweight; I don't really like the idea of having a dick or any other typically male features.

There's a podcast called When A Guy Has A Really Fucked Gender that my friend went on and I listen every week and I occasionally want to go on, but this is lower effort. sorry this was so long

P.S. when I'm high the funniest thing to me is Eric Andre yelling NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE and I can't stop saying it, so now my friend tease me with it😆

all I’ll say is that some of the coolest guys I know are guys with tits and pussies and no desire to change either

[birlwrites]

I see you often have long lists of stories/books reblogged, do you have a particular favourite you’d recommend?

Also I can’t recall if you have any that are specifically disability linked but if you know if any that’d be cool to know of/have linked if you’d oblige me? I’m ideally in search of a fantasy/fiction book written almost entirely from the perspective of a blind protagonist as I think it must fascinatingly change descriptions throughout it if done well but don’t myself know of any. (And am of course happy to continue a search myself, but you appear to read/learn of a wide variety of stories so thought there was a chance you’d know about something and didn’t think it’d hurt to ask).

my current favorites are the locked tomb series (perhaps better known as gideon the ninth), the death of jane lawrence by caitlin starling, and niche/indie pick miss bennet's dragon by m verant!!

(the latter is the first in a series called jane austen fantasy - if you've ever thought 'jane austen books don't have enough dragons' or 'i think elizabeth bennet could have kicked napoleon's ass' or 'i think mary bennet is an autistic lesbian who should fall in love with georgiana darcy', THESE ARE THE BOOKS FOR YOU. mary is my favorite character hands down i adore her i'd die for her she's so COOL)

also striiiictly speaking i have not actually read this yet but i recently received my copy of the same stars by dori lumpkin (published by @archiveoftheodd whose stuff is so cool that i've even gone to the lengths of telling my not-even-remotely-on-tumblr roommate about them), and i'm SUPER excited to read it, so there's that too!!

i do also often rb those lists so that future me has something to look at - my #other people's writing tag is a reference for me as much as it is one for other people aghslgkjsfd. i have not read everything that i reblog, but i like to reblog when something intrigues me, since if it intrigues me it's reasonably likely to intrigue some of the people who follow me as well. plus word of mouth is basically the only way to get things off the ground on tumblr and i want to support fellow authors and small presses

re a book written from the perspective of a blind protagonist, i don't know of any off the top of my head but @thedisabilitybookarchive might have some!

[invinciblerodent]

I know this is a hardish question bc probably depends on game factors, but as it is rn you the brain sauce

Do you think Emmerich notices right away that Tristan isn’t alive in the same sense as pm everyone else? Or is he like quicker than others to notice? I assume Tristan isn’t quick to explain the full truth of his… condition.

(Sorry if I seem obsessed, bc I kinda am. I blame my adhd for the hyperfixation. Love the whole idea! )

Oh absolutely no worries babe lol, I'm just happy that you find the big fellow interesting! ❤️❤️

Have a song I've been listening to a lot over the past few days and have kinda started associating it with him-

(this, as well as "Ghost" by the same guy, very Tristan-coded to me, only this one also has that soft, deep-voiced crooning in "Orlesian" in the middle there that's. Very A+.)

I honestly feel a bit more "free" headcanoning and rambling on about this guy and this story than about anyone else, specifically because the base idea is kind of on the sillier side? Like, I feel fairly confident ~~hazarding a guess~~ that there's not going to be a subplot in the actual game about the main character needing to hide that actually, they're kind of, sort of a zombie, lol.

So while I'm intentionally keeping my girls vague (beyond "very autistic bisexual elf rights activist", "viking pirate lesbian(?) dwarf", and "tiny dommy mommy"), I'm like, fairly sure that I was gonna need to do extensive rewrites and annotations to the game to make this one work anyway, so I'm not super concerned if I end up needing to "retcon" something I think about now.

What I was thinking so far is that Tristan, as of the beginning, could count on one hand the number of people he's told about his "condition" over the past two decades, and of those people, he's not sure if there's even one still left alive. (Maybe a fellow Warden healer, someone who's patched him up enough times to catch on that something is fishy? Maybe the longest and most serious relationship of his adult life that ended tragically one way or another? I'll have to brainstorm that one)

So as a Grey Warden, Tristan spends a lot of his life traveling alone (which suits him just fine), and quite often, the preternatural survivability and even the unusually thick blood can be reasoned away with "it's a Warden thing, don't worry about it, we're all like this". Most people will believe it, and aren't very quick to jump to conclusions that shouldn't be possible.

Except maybe those who are intimately familiar with death, spirits, and the undead. And are, yknow, actual professors of the occult.

So I think it's not exactly a closely guarded secret, but one Tristan wouldn't reveal unless absolutely necessary- and for as long as possible, none of the companions would know, but Emmrich would absolutely suss him out on his own.

Regardless of whether there's been any light flirting before then, I like to kind of imagine there being a singular moment --perhaps after a hit taken too close, maybe in defense of him, when the odd, stale, almost slightly mildewy scent of Tristan's blood hits Emmrich's nose the first time-- when their eyes meet, and there's this Moment of mutual recognition. This "oh shit, I know what you are."- "oh shit, he knows what I am.".

I of course don't know, like, the particulars of his character, but from his tone in the blurbs and the short stories, I assume that if pulled aside afterwards and asked sincerely, Emmrich would be willing to keep it a secret- and that he would immediately feel intense scholarly interest.

I mean, Tristan is an anomaly: by all means, he should not exist. The undead of Thedas are created via possession, and his body has not been possessed by any spirit, and isn't being controlled by anything. He seems whole, hale, and himself (not a darkspawn, either), he breathes, eats, sleeps, heals and bleeds pretty much as normal, and the things that aren't quite normal, are still not outside of the realm of possibility: many completely normal people breathe and blink slower than average, many people prefer their meat on the rarer side, many people have troubles falling and staying asleep. Nothing about him on its own is indicative of anything strange, and yet he is intelligent undead! Just the fact that he can speak in a way that is convincingly human is incredible!

I want to believe that Emmrich (like many of us are about our blorbos) would immediately kind of be like "I want to study you under a microscope." (paraphrased ofc) (Is he the playful kind? Would he jokingly paint studying Tristan as repayment for his silence? Who knows! It's fun either way!)

And at first, Tristan would be hesitant (it's awkward, to be under such scrutiny, and to have his whole Situation upended and dissected like that, especially by someone he probably already considers somewhat intimidating, in a handsome, charming sort of way), but even if it's not suggested, he'd consider it repayment for keeping it a secret, and agree. And if I can make it work, I'd really enjoy for there to be an opportunity for a moment between the two of them that has Emmrich kind of like... "I have been around enough bodies, both dead and alive, naked and clothed, to not be affected by anything corporeal. I know flesh well, I know what lies under it, and my interest in this particular body is purely clinical, scholarly, and in no way romantic or sexual. This dimly lit office/surgery is not in any way romantic, nor does any sight of his body arouse anything in me. .......... oh, his nipples are pierced. That's not a good thing for me."

("oh, strong muscles shifting enticingly under inked skin." "oh, the big man is large in every way." etc.)

Something something hearing an otherwise abnormally sluggish heart suddenly beat faster at a touch, something something intense examination of all bodily reactions making them both feel both flayed and more naked than it should be possible, intense eye contact, oh in this kind of light his eyes do look reddish and eerie but I can't look away, and from there on I think it can kinda progress however it's going to progress in the game.

I am havign SUCH a normal time of it, man!!!!!!!

[expiredmannequin]

==〉 OPEN POST

Welcome back to the early to mid 2000s where everyone and their mothers had a Homestuck tumblr - especially an ask blog.

That's what this is! This is an all-characters-included ask blog featuring my own art and such.

First things first before you start down your rabbit hole of getting into Homestuck again let's lay down boundaries.

YES

Ship asks (I am a multishipper so just thing of this blog like a multiverse of different versions of everyone's interactions! I'll probably set up a tagging thing or something so there's no confusion)

Canon x OC

Other ask blog interactions

Art Requests

Art Trades

Asking for a comission

DMing me personally (or even to RP! I may not get to everyone but I'll do my best!)

Suggestive asks (if you are a minor I will not answer these. Such posts will be tagged appropriately and any minors found interacting with theses posts will be blocked!)

NO

Proship stuff (stridercest, vantascest, etc.)

Beastiality anything

Discourse (I'm just being autistic and having fun I don't need drama brought here unless it's fictional)

Literally just anything illegal or immoral - just be normal (or as normal as a HS fan can be

ABOUT THE CREATOR

I'm a full grown pizza (20s)

I use any pronouns (includin neos!!!) EXCEPT THEY/THEM!!!!! - they/them for myself makes me feel super icky so please refrain from using those pronouns on me!

You're free to call me by literally any nickname you want but a base name I guess can be..uh. Expi? Ex...? EXP?? Something like that honestly

I am queer! and autistic..and disabled. A fucked up salad, really - I have two partners (romantic and queer platonic) and they're both awesome :)!

I love Homestuck a NORMAL amount (me when I lie)

I am really socially awkward and full of anxiety so if I take awhile to reply to DMs at first it's because I'm nervous :,,) [ if I get comfortable with you I'll hand over my discord :D)

Sometimes posts will be spammed or they'll be scarce due to fluctuating energy (mentally and physically) but I'll do my best to try and keep up with stuff <3!!!!!!

Part of this blog will be personal HCs of homestuck characters and how they look!!!!!! alongside things like sexual orientation and gender (I will not change already canon queer identities such as lesbians and the like! I may use more or alternative terms that are still the same vibe, etc.)

I usually text/talk like Dirk does..But I didn't want to seem bland/standoffish with this intro - plus unmasking to the world is scary

My personal tag: homestuckexp

SIDE BLOGS

Dirk's Ask Side Blog

Dave's Ask Side Blog

THERE WILL BE OTHER'S ADDED LATER!

(I just need to figure out who else I'll do lol)

↓ UPDATED JUNE 6TH, 2024 ↓

DIVIDERS BY: @cafekitsune (check her out! she does awesome dividers!!!!)

[raidergamerspice]

Here's yet another Spy x Family ramble post since those seem to do well here lmao

It's about Yor this time!

Originally I just wanted to talk about one headcanon I had for her, but then I figured, why not talk about a few while I'm here? Considering how much I talked about Twilight in the last two posts alone, Yor deserves some rambles from me.

Anyway, first headcanon: she's autistic. Like, I got some vibes when I first watched the anime, and saw how she took her coworkers' joke to blow snot (I watch it dubbed, don't judge me) in someone's coffee seriously, then being told she's "unique". Then she constantly worries about appearing normal in front of people, and not just because she's a single woman at 27 (which happened to be the age I was when I first got into Spy x Family). She even has "unconventional" hyperfixations (on knives or other sharp weapons), and clearly has major social anxiety. Basically, Yor screams autistic/neurodivergent vibes. Honestly, the whole Forger family does, but Yor is especially blatant for me as I'm also autistic. So, yeah. Yor is autistic because I said so 😂

Another headcanon I'm projecting onto her is that she's part Filipino (I know the series takes place in a semi fictional world where even though it's inspired by our world, it's not exact). This came from a fanfic I found where Yor takes care of a sick Loid and, thinking he's sleeping, opens up a bit about her mother being from the Philippines. Even the author was projecting this because they too are Filipino, and guess what? So am I! Well, only by a quarter, but that still matters! I also know I'm not the only fan that headcanons Yor (and Yuri) to be Spy x Family's equivalent of Asian, so my interpretation (as well as the author of that fic) is just one of many 🥰

Here's that fanfic if anyone's interested: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46420426

Next, here's a headcanon that I'm NOT projecting onto her: she has a rose tattoo on her abdomen. This idea came about after listening to Victoria Beckham's song "Not Such an Innocent Girl", specifically the lyric about having a secret rose tattoo. I was struck by the thought that Yor would totally rock a rose tattoo (especially if it had thorns, 'cause Thorn Princess), and that it would definitely be kept a secret for several reasons. It clearly can't be on any of her limbs, so it would have to be somewhere on her torso. I looked up several examples for ideas, and this one is my favorite:

(Can you just imagine, when Twiyor gets intimate for the first time, Loid kisses the tattoo? 'Cause I can 🥵)

Also, I realize that this particular headcanon is the least plausible of what I talked about here so far, but I don't care. I'm letting the Yor in my head rock this tattoo 'cause she would look great with it! 😤🌹

Now this one, I'm not sure if it's merely a headcanon or borderline canon without being explicitly stated, but I have seen this topic come up every now and again. Without getting too deep into it for now, I'll just say: Yor is a virgin, but she still knows what sex is 😳

ahem, moving on.

This is the last headcanon I'll share for now, and it's something I briefly mentioned before: Yor is bisexual. Like, I'm a major Twiyor, obviously, but I'm not blind to how she and Melinda interact with each other (also, Melinda is straight up a lesbian, but I digress). I have a love-hate relationship with this phrase because reasons, but I still think it's valid to say that Yor has two hands. She deserves a husband and a girlfriend 😏 (let's just hope that Melinda doesn't turn out to be evil 💀)

Well, that's all for now! I know I said in my last Spy x Family post that my next one might be about Twiyor having twins, but I promise that will come soon! What do you think about these headcanons? Agree or disagree? Valid thoughts or delusional rambles?