#once again i feel the need to apologize for the spam. but i am so sick mash is the only thing i can focus on. my brain is melting

[seefasters]

bj hunnicutt shouldve been put down for this joke

[cherryredstars]

Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x gn!reader

Warnings: 18+, Smut with Plot, Light Angst, Comfort, Soft!Simon, Suggested Talk of Death, Gentle Sex, Penetrative Sex, Oral Sex, Aftercare

Summary: Simon has a dangerous job, and it’s not the easiest thing to deal with. 

A/N: He needs someone to care for him. 

Word Count: 3.5K (Edited)

Maybe it was a silly thing to argue about.

Simon didn’t deserve walking into his home after a long mission only for him to be dragged into an argument with you. But you couldn’t help it. He had made you so scared when a few days ago the other military partners had spammed the group chat about calls and messages they received from their soldiers. They had given news that the latest mission was finished and they were coming home soon. You had perked up when you saw those messages, knowing some of those men and women had been in the same deployment group as Ghost. You had excitingly expected to get a similar message from Simon, but as hours and days began to pass with no word, your anxieties had begun to surface. The worst scenarios ran through your head with every notification that wasn’t from Simon and you had to find ways to distract yourself. 

So, when Simon had walked through that door, no visible injuries in sight, you had blown up on him. You had taken all your anger and worry and frustration out on him, causing a fight between the two of you. Simon had argued that since he was of higher rank he had more duties to attend to even after returning back to base and in response you argued that it took two seconds to type out a one word text like “okay” or “back”. In the end, the both of you had taken some time to cool down before regrouping and apologizing after seeing the other’s point. 

Once the heat had died down, you and Simon laid in bed. You were curled against his chest as his hands played mindlessly with your hair. The both of you were silent as you took in the other person’s presence. Your hand rubbed up and down Simon's chest gently and you pressed a small kiss through his shirt. “I’m sorry.”

Simon held you tighter to him and kissed the top of your head, “I know.”

Another stretch of silence follows before you feel Simon shift. His hand comes to gently grab your chin, raising your head towards him. He looks down at you, a far away look on his face as his thumb strokes your jawline. You just stare at him in silence, seeing something forming behind his eyes. When he zones back in, he whispers so softly that you think you might have missed it if you weren't so close to him. 

“Do you ever get tired of this? Tired of waiting for a dead man to come back?” His brow furrows and a flash of pain swarms his eyes as he thinks about every time he probably scared you shitless. He thinks of the nights you spent in this bed, cold and alone and scared you’ll wake up the next day to receive a call to tell you that’s how you’ll spend the rest of your nights. “Am I asking too much from you by making you wait here for me and letting you take care of me when I get back?”

Simon’s questions shock you and you can only look up at him with a scrunched up face as he waits patiently for your answer. You both sit in silence as you think about your answer, but you know it before it fully forms in your head. 

“No. No, I don’t. I think…” You pause, trying to find the right way to word your next sentence. “I think you don’t ask for things enough. You don’t ask me enough. I love that you let me take care of you, Simon. But, whatever I do for you, it never feels like enough.”

You pause once again and open your mouth just to close it again. You take a deep breath, your own hand coming up to cradle Simon’s jaw as he watches you. Your eyes look up to his eyes before looking away and shrugging. “Sometimes… all the time…I’m scared that I won’t get enough time with you.”

Your words cause Simon to grit his teeth and his hands leave your body so he can clench them. He looks away from your face, instead staring over your head and towards a wall. Seeing the way he tensed, you slowly start to remove your hands away from him. You know the best thing to do when he’s like this is to give him space. When you try to scoot your body away, one of his hands shoots up to softly grab your hand to keep it pressed into his chest as his head tilts back towards you. 

“Stay.” He mutters the word as he stares into your eyes, scanning them for something. “Please.”

You nod, relaxing back into your former position as he forces his hands to relax as he places them back on your body. He tilts his head further down, burying his face into your hair and breathing in your scent. You smell like your shampoo and he lets it fill his senses. His hand trails down to your back and he traces words. You don’t think he even realizes he’s doing it.

“I would never leave you. Not willingly.” Simon speaks up again, his small gulp audible in the silence. His hold on you tightens slightly, like he thinks someone might separate you in the next moment. 

Your hands bunch up his shirt, the material clenched in your fists. You close your eyes as you take the time to breathe him in too. He still smells like the hot sun and gunpowder. You squeeze your eyes tighter as you feel tears building up behind your lids. You don’t want to cry, but this topic always makes your heart ache. 

“I know. I just-” Your voice cracks a bit and you clear your throat before you start again. “I just worry. I’m worried every time you’re away. And when you’re home, I’m worried that none of this will last. Worried that it might be the last time you walk back through that door. I don’t think I could ever survive if you never come home, Simon.” 

As you spoke, shaky breaths escaped you until they turned into hiccups as tears started to roll down your cheeks. You had seen first hand the way some of the other soldiers’ partners had reacted when they found out their significant other wasn't coming back. Had seen the way it had broken them. And every time, behind your sympathy and sadness for them, you find the small relief that it isn’t your soldier. That it’s not you receiving that news because Ghost had taken care of Simon.  But then, you get scared again. What if karma comes back to bite you and you’re next?

The way you speak and cry into him, it breaks Simon’s heart. He knows that he’s a cruel man. He has killed thousands of people. Had walked away from missions bathed in spilt blood. Seen enough horrors in the world to last every lifetime. But laying next to you, without Ghost’s mask on, hearing what he puts you through, this might be the cruelest thing he’s done. He is a selfish and cruel man for filling your mind with those soul-crushing thoughts while refusing to let you go. He wishes he could do something to mend those pieces, but it is so hard to do something he was never taught to do. Hard to attempt something as kind as comfort when all he has known is destruction. But he needs to try, because whatever kills you, kills him too. 

“I love you.”

He stiffens instantly when he says the words. You know about the twisted view of love Simon has, growing up with a family who used those words as an excuse to hurt each other. You know the discomfort he has when that word is brought up. You know how hard it must be for him to say them to you, even if he does feel that way. Hesitantly, you look up at him with a half-hearted smile. “Simon, you don’t ne-”

“I. Love. You.” He says it with more conviction this time, pronouncing the words carefully. Like maybe you didn’t understand him the first time and he wants you to. His eyes find yours and he holds a serious expression on his face.

His body is still stiff, but he takes deep breaths as he turns you on your back. He hovers over you, pressing his forehead to yours while his forearms hold him up. He closes his eyes and sighs before opening them again and pressing a soft kiss to your lips. Your hands fall from his shirt and go to grasp his shoulders as you close your eyes and open your mouth for him. The softest of noises travel on his breath as his tongue caresses yours and his hand comes up to your cheek. His thumb is soft as it brushes tears away.

When he pulls away, he kisses the tears away from the other side of your face. He follows the tear streaks down your face, giving a soft lick to your jaw before kissing down the length of your neck. He sucks gently at the skin, apologizing for the sting with cooling kisses. The soft moan that rumbles in your throat causes a small smile to distort his lips. He shifts his position so his knees are pressed into the bed as his hands move to ghost down your sides. He reaches the hem of your shirt and tugs on it gently. “Can I take this off?”

You breathe out a yes and he sits up, reaching behind him to grab his shirt and pull it off over his head before gently taking yours off. He throws them to the floor, coming back to press soft kisses to your collarbone and neck. Your own hands come up to hold the back of his neck, keeping your hold light and not applying any pressure. Simon hums into your skin and one of his hands goes down to unbuckle his belt and remove it from around his waist. He unbuttons and unzips his pants, but makes no move to take them off. His hand then comes back, squeezing your sides. 

His hand moves to the waistband of your sleeping bottoms, removing his face from your skin so it’s hovering in front of yours. He silently asks for permission to take them off, and you silently nod before he pulls them down your legs. He kisses down your leg, stopping at the side of your knee. When they’re off, he stands up to push his pants down his legs and hovers above you again. The both of you are in nothing but your underwear as Simon’s eyes look down your body. He lets out a breathless exhale, still astonished that something as pure as you would let a man like him see you like this. He presses a kiss to your forehead and whispers into your hairline, “You’re breathtaking, you know that, lovie?” 

His gruff accent causes shivers down your spine and your hands rub up and down his chest. You lean forward and press a kiss over his heart. The flesh is warm against your mouth and you can feel each beat. You lean your head back down on the sheets, finding Simon’s eyes again and smiling. “You’re gorgeous, Simon. I love you.”

Your soft words cause emotion to build up in his throat. They’re thick and it's hard to breathe around them. He closes his eyes and rests his forehead against your head again, pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose. The both of you hold still and enjoy the peacefulness of the moment before Simon leans down to give you a quick peck on the lips. “Fuck, I don’t deserve you. But I’ll do everything I can to keep you.” 

You can’t do anything but give him a giddy smile that causes a smile of his own. He chuckles slightly and shakes his head before his hand brushes his fingers against your inner thigh. A soft sigh leaves your mouth and you grab a hold of his hand to hold it over where you need it. His fingers instantly feel the moisture on your underwear and he lets out a soft hiss. His eyes drop down to where his hand is before snapping back to your eyes, “Can I remove them? Can… can I touch you?”

“Always. I trust you.” You whispered to him. The words make his heart explode and he keeps them close to his chest. You trust him. Him of all people. Your trust may be the greatest gift anyone has ever given him. 

Simon pulls your underwear off, taking his off right after. His hands come up to massage your thighs before one of his hands comes to ghost over you, watching your face for your reaction. He enjoys the way your mouth falls open and you whisper his name quietly. Like it’s only for his ears to hear. Like everything you are allowing him to do are things his hands will only be able to do. His body is warm and he’s sure admiration shines in his eyes as he stares at you. He knows this will not make your worries go away completely, but it will keep your mind off of it for now. And that’s all Simon can hope for: to bring a little peace and comfort into your life for all the times you gave it to him. 

His hands gently caress you, his fingers growing sticky with the arousal that flows from you. Each movement causes beautiful noises to fall from your lips that soak Simon in love. He pulls his fingers away, sucking them in his mouth to taste the arousal that drips from them. He lets out a satisfied hum as he tastes it bloom on his tongue. He comes up to you again to place a delicate kiss that has you groaning as you taste yourself on his lips. When he pulls away, he whispers soft praises about how lovely you sound, declaring he can listen to your voice forever. When he asks you if he can taste more of you, you giggle and kiss his cheek with a nod.

He’s quick to scoot down the bed so his face hovers over your sex. His hands wrap around your thighs so his hands lay flat on your stomach. “Keep your eyes on me, okay, love?”

You don’t get time to respond as his hot mouth latches onto you. A soft whine leaves your mouth as you watch him, his eyes looking up at you from between your legs. He licks and sucks on you, feasting as if this might actually be the last time he ever gets to do this. Your hands grab onto his hands that still lay on your stomach, trying to stop yourself from throwing your head back or closing your eyes. A soft curse leaves your mouth as you let out a whimper. You feel that delicious warmth pool at the bottom of your stomach and you try to warn Simon. He only lets out a hum and continues what he’s doing, not slowing down or speeding up. 

When you explode, he drinks it all up. He leaves your sex with happy sighs, pressing his sticky mouth to your thighs and mumbling more praises against the skin. So sweet for me. Always looking so good. You take it so well. Perfect, perfect, perfect. You give him a breathless smile, finally leaning your head back as you try to get your breath back. It’s no longer than two seconds before Simon’s face is back in your view. You can’t help the small tilt of your head as you giggle at his furrowed brows. “Why did you look away?”

Your smile widens and you shake your head. He’s so cute. You bite your lip and give him a quick kiss, mumbling a sorry. From his new position, Simon’s tip rubs softly against you, causing your body to shiver in anticipation. Once he sees your reaction, he lifts his hips slightly so his head doesn’t touch you anymore, making you whine. “It’s okay, Simon. You can slide in whenever you’re ready.”

Simon’s body relaxes again and he lets his hips go back to their previous position. “Please, don’t look away this time.” 

You nod your head, whispering a small ‘I promise’ before his hand reaches down to see if you’re actually ready for him to slide in. He takes a deep breath before he looks down briefly, watching his hand wrap around his base and nudging it towards your entrance. He looks back up at you as he aligns himself before he slides in. You both let out a moan as he slowly slides himself in. His gaze is steady on your face, watching for any sign of discomfort. When he bottoms out, he lets out a breath that was suspended in his lungs. He lets his hand rest next to your head, fingers slipping through your hair, “Are you okay, does it hurt?”

“No. It feels perfect.” Your words breath warm air against his skin and he nods. He holds eye contact, resting his forehead against yours as he starts thrusting slowly. He pulled out more and more as he continued. His thrusts are getting deeper and deeper, but never faster. Each buck of his hips causes you to moan and your hands hold onto his shoulders as he makes steady love to you. He isn’t doing anything different from every other time he has shown his love for you, but it still feels different. It feels like a silent apology, a promise. It feels like this will never stop, that this won’t be the last time. 

Tears begin to build up in your eyes and you bite your lip to contain a sob. Simon instantly stops, he knows you’re not hurt, but he asks anyway. You shake your head wordlessly and pull him into a deep kiss. Simon grabs onto your face as he kisses you back, his thrusts starting up again. He presses deep kisses to your lips, trying to breathe unspoken words into your mouth. When he pulls away, his hands gather the sheets in his fists as he moans out. His brows furrowed as he looked down at you, his mouth dropped open as he muttered the words that caused flutters to expand in your stomach. 

I love you. I love you. I love you. I’ll always try to find my way back home to you. You are my home.

A watery laugh escapes you that quickly turns into moans as you feel yourself near your peak. Simon lets out a grunt, verbalizing that he’s about to finish, too. With a few more deep strokes, you both groan as you finish together. Both of you pant as you look at each other before Simon wraps his arms around you and buries his head in the crook of your neck. Against the skin he asks you to stop crying and you whisper back an ‘okay’. You both sit and lay there, holding onto each other as you kiss his shoulder and your fingers glide over his back. 

Once he has caught his breath, Simon pulls away silently, pressing a kiss to your lips while pulling out. You feel empty once he’s gone, watching him leave into the bathroom before coming back with a towel. He kneels on the bed, his hands gentle as he wipes the mess between your thighs. He takes care to not overstimulate you, pressing a soft kiss to your stomach before getting up again and disappearing out of the room after throwing the towel in the laundry. He comes back again, a water bottle in his hand as he holds it up to your mouth. He whispers to be careful as you drink from it, not wanting you to drink too much at a time. When he asks you if you need anything else you ask him to hold you. He pulls out the blanket and carries you as he slips in under it, covering the both of you. He presses soft kisses to your head as he plays with your hair, whispering more sweet nothings into the air until you fall asleep. 

When you wake up the next morning, you turn around in search of Simon. You find his side empty, already made. But on his pillow, metal shines from the sunlight coming in. You smile widely as you take it in your hands, the slightly heated metal of Ghost’s dog tag resting in your palm. Your fingers trace the raised letters before you slip the chain around your neck. You get out of bed and dress yourself in Simon’s shirt from off the floor before walking out of your room. Down the hall, you can hear the sound of a kettle whistling and slight shuffling.

You stop in the hall, closing your eyes and taking it all in as you hold on to the tag. 

He’s home.

Simon content pre-write 1.

[bk-4-trash-fire]

You all wanted this....

Stray part 2

Apologies for this taking so long

Work got me fuvked up

Btw I am working on doodles for this series

make sure to not spam my account please I don't want to block you

With our geo grampa having a crisis

You were checking up on the snow globe from ya head

It was your little way of checking up on your little people

Because if ya tried seeing it in any other way it exploded

Computers, tvs, tables, hell even on large scale machines

Nothing apparently couldn't handle the scale of your world enough for you to see it properly

But this will do...

And everything seems to be in order....

WELP DON'T NEED THIS NO MORE

As our lovely zhongli trying to find the best way possible to speak with his creator

He then hears the sound of shattering glass

Looking over at his creator he sees a cat

With half a broken ball in their hands....

Oh..

OH GOD NO

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Ok back with the fucking cat...

Caring for the glass ball wasn't your main priority

Because all you have to do is stick the glass in your stomach and pop a new one out of your back again

That was very much not communicated with you geo dragon

So now you have an old dragon on the floor desperately trying to put the glass ball back together

In the heat of the moment you take one look at the pile of glass and belly flop onto it

It's not a nice feeling but it's better than having to listen to that poor man worry over a glass ball

Your stomach glows as it absorbs the glass and soon you body shakes as it creates a glass ball

(think of a giant machine shaking violently as it tries to do its job)

And with a *pop* a new glass ball appears from your back

Once again zhongli is confused and at this point he's existence in a joke that never ends

Somewhere else in the slums.....

A portal is opened

And three unlucky souls are

A traveler

A bard

And the unlucky boy who just happened to be there at the worst time possible

But what happened before this?

10 minutes before this

Venti was having a good day

Great even.

Until the wind told him zhongli was trying to see the creator

That son of a-

He was supposed to be the first to see the creator

Following the wind he found a cave hidden in some brush

With an inhumane amount of stairs

Zhongli you bit-

Deeper into the cave he found a large yet strange machine

Ancient runes cover the machine in rows

Oh and the traveler was there

Wait....

Why is the traveler here?

They seemed just as confused about the machine as him..

But as the traveler was inspecting the machine one of the runes they touched began to glow

Soon the every rune on the machine as it power up for God knows what

As the machine violently shook venti could hear something screaming coming closer

Oh look it's bennett!

OH WAIT THE STAIRS

BENNETT NO-

A violent push is given to the two immortals as they are all accidentally thrown into the creators world...

Ok that's it

Have fuuuuuun :]

[qxldnya]

Enemies to lovers

Part 1 part 2 part 3

Jude Bellingham x baller!reader

Taglist now open

Wc: 2k

Warning: past flashback, swearing

⚠️ A/n: PLS STOP SPAMMING ME! I beg man 😭 i will post parts as soon as i can and people spamming me everywhere only puts me off this. If you wanna be apart of the taglist comment down below<3 THANK YOU FOR 900 FOLLOWERS <3

"A favor?"

You repeat, the words feeling thick and heavy on your tongue. A part of you suspects that he's about to pull a fast one and make some belittling joke at your expense.

Or he's going to ask you to do something completely impossible for him, just so he can prove his point that, haha, you fucked up!

Because there's really no conceivable reason that he would-

"You need me to act as your boyfriend for the wedding thing. Fine. But I need you to..."

He trails off, and you stare in awe as a light pink hue dusts his cheeks. Is Jude... blushing? You'd seen him blush out of rage before, many times actually, but never... shyness? Is that what this even is?

"...It'll be easier if I just explain it first."

Nodding, you feel like you're stuck in some kind of trance as he sits down on top of the desk next to yours. He sighs again, and then those blood-red eyes are focused on you.

"My parents are... fuckin' nutcases. I don't know if you've heard much about them, but they're kinda well- respected in England. Not like your aunt, just pretty influential in politics n' shit."

You openly stare at him, head tilted.

"I, uh, don't follow."

A glare. "So let me fucking finish then, eh?"

Bristling, you bite your tongue and grit out a strained apology. He just rolls his eyes in response and continues on.

"Anyways, my mom's been creepily invested in like, making sure I have a girlfriend so I can 'continue the family lineage.' I'm still 19 so it doesn't make much sense, but it's just for her to show it off I guess."

He makes air quotes with his fingers as he speaks, and you almost want to laugh a bit because the idea of Jude having a wife and kids is just... unrealistic. He looks away, eyes hardening as his tone shifts into something more somber. "So then I had a girlfriend, but we uh, broke up a few months ago."

Hold the fucking phone. Jude had a girlfriend? Like, as in living breathing girl? Who was interested in actually dating him?

Your attempt to conceal the look of shock clearly written across on your face utterly fails, because Jude instantly notices before you can even try to correct yourself. The look he gives you makes your spine go rigid.

"The fuck you looking like that for?"

"Nothing," you say a bit too quickly. "so then what about the rest of the favor?" He scowls for a few moments longer, as if he's wondering if he really wants to pursue an argument right now, then thankfully drops the issue altogether and continues talking. You let out a breath you weren't even aware you'd been holding, feeling slightly victorious at the fact that for once you've managed to avoid a giant mess. It's a nice change of pace.

"As I was saying, we broke up, but my mom doesn't know that. Hell, she didn't even meet my girlfriend to begin with. Was just happy to know I had one, and then bragged about it to all her friends or whatever."

Your fingers begin to drum wildly against your desk. You've got a feeling you know where this is going, and it does not appeal to you.

"But you're single now, so she doesn't know?"

"Yeah. Which is where you come in."

Yep. Laughing nervously, you stand from your seat and grab your bag, slinging it over your shoulder.

"Yeah, look... I know I fucked up with the whole phone call thing, and I'm sorry about that, but I am NOT going to be your pretend girlfriend for god knows how long just because your mom-"

He makes a face, appearing as if you've just gravely offended him.

"What? Why the fuck would I ever want that? Idiot, it's only going to be for one night, not a year."

A short laugh escapes his lips, curt and blunt. “You think I'd enjoy having you of all people as my girlfriend?"

You wince, because ouch, but at the same time, you'd probably reply with the exact same thing had he been the one to insinuate that. So it's fair, you suppose. "Only one night?" Is your hesitant response. "My mom's got a stupid party with her fellow political snobs coming up in a week," he grumbles, leg swinging impatiently.

"I just need you to pose as my girlfriend for the party. That's all."

Mulling over your options, you bite your lip and give him a skeptical glance.

"So that's it? And then you'll- you'll do the wedding thing with me?"

Jude nods. You then start to feel slightly bad, because here he is only requiring you to act as his significant other for one night, whereas you'll be having him act for a week... "Are you sure it's a fair exchange?" You mumble, nervously picking at the seams of your shorts. Rolling his eyes for the billionth time, he hops off of the desk and snorts.

"I get out of having my mom scream at me and get a free vacation to fucking Malibu?"

"The Bahamas," you correct him.

Another eye roll. You silently hope that they stay stuck in the back of his head someday.

"Whatever, same difference. So yeah, it's a pretty fair exchange.

I mean, we just fake "break up" after the wedding or whatever." He hums to himself a bit, before grimacing slightly. His next words are nothing more but a mumble, and you strain to hear them.

"But, if anything, we're both kinda getting fucked over here." You narrow your eyes suspiciously. "Hey, hold on, I never explicitly agreed to all of this. What do you mean by that?"

A sort of realization dawns on him. He slowly faces you before flashing a sarcastic grin in response, his sharp canines now visible at the corners of his mouth.

"Come on, you didn't think this was gonna be as easy as just saying we're dating and expecting people to believe it, did you?"

Heat rises to your cheeks. "I- I don't follow." "It means," he says, taking a few slow steps towards you. "that you and I are gonna have to actually play the part. I mean if we're both all stiff-shouldered and awkward, ya think your aunt is really be convinced that we're actually dating?"

"I mean, it- it doesn't matter too much, right?"

God, you hope your face isn't as red as it feels. And then Jude is directly in front of you, both of his hands squarely planted on the desk as he looms over you. You're now certain that it is as red as it feels. It's unclear to you if you're more flustered over the blatant invasion of your personal space, or... no, you're not finishing that thought.

"Here's the thing, 'babe,' " he growls, his voice strained. "you can try and convince your aunt about whatever the fuck you want. I'm definitely not complaining if I don't have to bring the whole romance shtick along on the trip. That would be ideal, actually, cause there's no way I'm trying to shack up with you."

His face is now only inches from yours, hot breath slightly fanning across your cheeks. You think your heart has leapt straight into your throat. Since when has it been this hard to breathe?

"But with my family, you're not getting away with any of that half-assed crap. So whether you like it or not - and I can assure you that I for one don't -we're gonna have to get used to acting like a real couple. Otherwise, this isn't gonna work. Understand?"

You physically cannot move, only offering a blank stare in response. He smirks in a patronizing sort of way, seemingly mistaking your bewildered reaction for one of fear. As if he expected you to react this way all along.

"Unless, of course, princess prude here can't do that. So make your choice."

Hold on, is he trying to scare you off?

Oh, he definitely is.

He takes your momentary silence as an answer and chuckles.

"That's what I thought."

You've been described as a lot of things that you can agree with. Easily flustered, hard-headed, passionate... the list goes on. You've also been described as incredibly stubborn. Petty, too. And those statements are just as factual.

"Well, if you change your mind, I'll probably have until tomorrow before I go looking for a stand-in" Jude shrugs, finally backing up from your desk and turning toward the door.

"but otherwise, if you can't do it, we're probably done here-"

All things considered, you're guessing that he probably didn't expect you to stand from your seat and grab him roughly by the back of his shirt. He lets out a startled noise as you yank him towards you, forcing him to face you as your fist bunches in his collar. Pulling him down to meet you eye-to-eye, your response is forced from your lips with a ferocity that surprises even you.

"Try me." You regret the words the momont they leave your mouth. But you're too busy relishing in Jude startled expression to really care. He stares at you for a few moments longer, seemingly dumbfounded, before abruptly prying your hand off of him with a look of disdain. He smoothes out his shirt with a smile.

"Damn, didn't know princess prude had some balls on her."

Trying to maintain your false facade of confidence, you cross your arms stubbornly.

"The joke's only funny once. Don't call me that." And for a moment you swear he smirks, a smirk that's not full of hatred or sarcasm for once, but it's quickly replaced with his normal resting bitch face that you've seen so frequently over the course of the past semester. "Alright," he grumbles.

"Let me give you my number so we can plan shit out." You hand him your phone, and he quickly punches in his contact before carelessly tossing it back to you. It almost slips from your grasp, and you glare daggers at him as you fumble to recover it.

"Watch it, asshole." He just sniggers.

"Yeah, whatever. Anyways I'm blasting this dump. Later, princess prude." "I said, don't fucking call me that!"

You shout after him as he exits the room, fists trembling with anger.

"Whatever the princess commands."

"You're not funny!"

"Don't care." It's the last thing you hear before he disappears out of the room and down the hallway, leaving you to stand in place, furious, and process what exactly you just agreed to. Jude is your fake boyfriend. What the fuck?

It feels taboo to even think about. An even scarier realization that hits you with the speed of a freight train is that to everyone else, Jude is now your real boyfriend.

Crouching down, you wrap your arms around your knees and resist the urge to scream. By the time you make it through the rest of your classes and back to your apartment, you think you're about to drop dead on your feet. You'd been too focused on what had happened back in the empty room with Jude to really pay attention to any of your lectures, instead debating whether or not you should just call the whole thing off and stick to trying to pay your aunt back, or roll with it and move onto the next set of problems that would arise from sticking with it. Is he still going to tell people you two aren't actually dating? Are you still going to be outed as a liar?

God, you hope not. Hell, you'd even written out a whole pros and cons list during your last class, which you were now reviewing from the privacy and comfort of your bed.

PROS: No Tom (Jude is somehow more bearable, cause at least he's not a creep) Aunt + Mom are happy (no guilt-tripping) Don't have to pay aunt Sylvie back VACATION TO BAHAMAS??? Maybe won't be outed for "lying" (did I lie tho) Not permanent I'm technically doing something nice for someone else at

I'm technically doing something nice for someone else at the same time :))))

(kind of, fuck you Jude)

CONS: He's not Tom but he's also still Jude and that means that I have to deal with the asshole for basically a month

Family is gonna ask questions Prep stuff for the fake dating I guess Oh god do I have to kiss him??

Might still have to deal with the Rice thing and being called a liar Have to deal with HIS family asking questions And... that's about it.

At first glance, you try to convince yourself that both sides are semi-even, but... the cons are mostly superficial or just plain uncertain, now that you look at them. And the pros are stupidly strong and... shit.... The only big thing you'll be sacrificing is your dignity. And your time and patience. No, no. That's still worth something right? Maybe not. Are you seriously about to go along with this? And as if on cue, your phone buzzes with a text from Jude.

From: Jude

6:17 PM

Hey, I told Rice the rumors are true. Might be easier for you and I to keep our story straight. We can just tell him we broke up

You stare quizzically at the message for a few moments, sort of in awe. He still sounds as harsh as ever but this is... oddly considerate of him.

Did someone steal his phone or something?

From: Jude

6:19 PM

Your name in my phone is Princess Prude, just thought you should know.

Never mind.

Definitely the same guy.

From: You

6:20 PM

Why

From: Jude

6:20 PM

Cause it pisses you off

From: you

6:21 PM

was about to thank you for what I thought was a really nice gesture but now all I have to say is fuck you

You make a new contact name for him and send a screenshot.

From: Judyhoe

6:22 PM

The fuck? "Judyhoe?" You've got some meedy insults yk. And the feeling is mutual btw

He sends a middle finger emoji with nothing else, and you suppose that's the end of the conversation.

But despite all the insults, his infuriating personality, and the shit you're probably going to have to put up with...

At least he's not Tom

-

Naturally, Mason had been the first in your admittedly small social circle to know the truth; he was probably your closest friend on camp at this point. And considering the fact that you had kind of ghosted her since the end of training, you supposed it was only right to fill him in on what was going on.

That, and you weren't sure if you'd remain mentally stable enough if you'd kept all of this a secret.

"Are you shitting me?" Was the first thing he'd said when you'd finally picked up her calls. The whole ordeal had been explained over text - a tedious process, looking back.

But you'd just been too embarrassed to recount everything out loud.

"No," you mumble, rolling over in your bed so you can stare at the ceiling. "I swear I'm not."

You hear him inhale sharply, before he starts laughing like a maniac. Reddening, you clench your fists as you sit up in bed, shouting words of indignation into the speaker as he continues to cackle at your expense.

"You and Jude-" he seems to be almost laughing through tears.

"You guys are faking... This can't be real. You guys are like Arsenal and spurs!" Grumbling, you slouch.

"I know, and yes, it is real."

"Are- are you two sharing a fucking BED on your vacation?" He howls, trying to catch his breath, and you try your damndest not to hang up right then and there as your face goes aflame at his suggestion.

"No!" Comes your high-pitched squeal.

"Me? Share a bed with that asshole? He would probably suffocate me in my sleep!"

"I dunno, maybe it's the perfect time to figure out if one of you has a degrading kink-" Grinding your teeth, you glare down at your phone.

"If you don't shut up, I'm going to end the call." he half-heartedly apologizes as his laughter dissolves into giggles.

You just sigh, one hand rubbing at your temples. This is going to be a painfully long month.

"So..." he starts. "how do you honestly feel about it?" his tone is genuinely curious this time.

Humming, you search for an answer. "I don't know," is your honest reply. "I'm relieved, because it kinda solved three problems all at once but... I'm also really dreading the whole thing. I'm scared something's gonna get fucked up along the way."

A short laugh. "Fair enough. I'll be surprised if you two don't kill each other before the whole party thing." You silently agree.

"So like, to convince his parents, is he gonna have to practice kissing you or something?"

The sound that leaves your mouth is nothing short of a squeak. Oh, you can practically hear him grinning over the phone.

"Oh? Looks like someone isn't prepared. What if he pulls you onto his lap, huh? Wraps his arms around your waist..."

"That's not- Shut up!" is your garbled reply, throat constricting at the thought. "If I didn't know any better, you sound flustered~" he purrs.

No, you protest very firmly. You aren't flustered. You're just grossed out. The thought is appalling to you. One hundred percent. He can tell that you're lying. And shit, why the fuck is it making you flustered? He's a fucking dickhead. And you genuinely do hate him. But he's a hot dickhead, a voice in the back of your head whispers, and you try to beat it over the head with an imaginary baseball bat. Ok. Fine. He's attractive. You'll admit it. And you hate it, because otherwise, you wouldn't be nearly as flushed thinking about all of this.

And why do all the assholes get to be attractive??

You don't realize you've said all of this aloud to Mason until he bursts out laughing again, much to your embarrassment, and then you have to spend a whole five minutes shutting him up. He's not going to let you live this down. Not for a long while. The two of you continue to talk about the logistics of the arrangement for about an hour longer - you pointedly ignore a few of the sly jokes he slips in here and there - before he has to leave for his family dinner

And when the call finally ends, you can't help but feel a tiny bit relieved that this isn't a secret you need to carry alone anymore.

Your phone buzzes with a text.

From: money mase

8:49 PM Just always remember the importance of condoms and good ol birth control

You should've just kept your mouth shut. From: You

8:50 PM I have no idea why you're so convinced that we're going to do anything. This is literally a contract out of convenience.

From: money mase

8:51 PM That's what they all say, mate

From: You

8:52 PM The day I fuck Jude is the day you finally confess to Declan

He doesn't respond to that one. The rest of the night passes without much of a hitch. You do get a few curious messages on your social media asking about Jude, but you elect to ignore them for now, favoring the sweet embrace of sleep.

And when you finally manage to drift off to sleep after what feels like ages of constant tossing and turning, your dreams are filled with brown eyes that burn through your body over and over, until nothing of you remains but charred ash.

From: Judyhoe

8:15 AM Meet me today at my apartment after lunch so we can plan shit out for the party. I've only got one massage class, so I'll be here all day. And don't keep me waiting

Waking up to a text from Jude feels like whiplash. (a/n referenced the best movie to exist;)

And waking up to a text from Jude demanding you to come to his apartment, of all places, more so. And what does he mean by "plan shit out?" You mull over whether or not you should fake sick and bail, gingerly sipping at your coffee. But then comes the reminder that all of this technically counts as an obligation now, thanks to your poor critical thinking skills that are permanently coupled with your big fat mouth

You told him to send his adress. He does, and you can't help but gawk when you recognize the location because holy shit, it's in a really nice area in London. You always seemed to forget that some on the team lives by themselves rather than on camp like you. Simply out of convenience. Your cat rubs against your ankles with a purr, and you pick her up, scratching behind her ears as you silently pray that today won't be a complete disaster on your end.

Unfortunately, things are already looking glum. The stares are even more prominent today. Probably a result of Jude's confirmation with Declan about it all. You even overhear a huddled group of girls whispering as you pass, shooting you a few glares. You try your best to ignore it all, but by the time you slide into your seat at lunch, you want to do nothing but hide.

It'll pass, you think to yourself, desperate for consolation. He's basically a high class celebrity, so of course it's a hot topic. But it'll pass soon. Old news. Despite your anxiety about, well, everything, everything pass by far too quickly.

It's 4 PM before you even realize it. Wait, why are you so worked up over this? It's just a stupid meeting. Nothing weird is going to happen. It's just a result of everything Mason said last night. And even if you have to practice being... being a couple, it's not like he's going to do anything

Right? You should bail. But as you pull up his messages and start typing out an excuse to remain hiding at home with your cat, you can practically envision Jude calling you "princess prude" again, and it's all the conviction you need to erase the stupid message, grab your bag, and stride as you confidently head for his apartment.

The confidence lasts for a whole twenty minutes, until you reach the lobby of the apartment building. You're not sure if it can even be classified as a lobby, it looks more like a resort. There's even a bar to the right.

You instantly feel out of place, suddenly hyper-aware of your admittedly plain looking clothing in contrast to the other walking around in designer brands. Not because you couldn't afford them but because it wouldn't fit you.

Shit, maybe you should've worn something your aunt gifted you... You catch a few people giving you sideways glances, some hostile, others curious. Probably recognizing who you were. Pulling out your phone, you retreat to a corner and quickly send a text to Jude.

From: You

4:25 PM I'm here please come down idk how this place works and the posh people are staring at me

From: Judyhoe

4:25 PM are you serious

You wait for a few more minutes, idly shuffling your feet as you try your best to stay out of everyone's direct line of sight.

Not just because you definitely look out of place, but also because the people living here probably know Jude. Which means they also probably know about Jude.

Which means they also probably know about you. And there seems to be very mixed reception to that. And then you spot him coming into the lobby, adorning a plain black tank top and matching black sweats. And for a second, you want to laugh, because he looks just as out of place as you do.

But he very obviously isn't, judging from the way that everyone greets him as he passes.

He offers nothing more than a nod of acknowledgement in response, even to the two glammed up girls that try to rest their hands on his arms in an attempt to stop him long enough for a brief conversation.

He just shrugs them off and keeps walking, narrowed eyes scanning the room in search of you. Stepping out of your little hiding place, you try to nonchalantly raise a hand to catch his attention, hoping that no one takes much notice of you.

Jude spots you, and his eyes narrow even more as he storms over to where you awkwardly stand.

"Why didn't you just come up?" He hisses, stopping right in front of you. People are staring. "I- What do you mean?" His voice drops an octave, and hushes to nearly a whisper. "Do you know how this looks? How much attention we're drawing to ourselves?

"Shit, I told Mason to tell everyone it was true, but I didn't want it to be a fucking spectacle."

Trying to keep your expression neutral, you respond through gritted teeth.

"I'm sorry that I don't know how to navigate your huge apartment lobby. There's so many stupid hallways and rooms down here, why does it all look so fucking fancy and expensive?"

"What?you're literally a fotballer you are loaded."

"Yeah, but not posh loaded, everything is in the bank you i do not show it off dickhead," you huff indignantly, eyes darting around nervously. Jude looks like he wants to say more, but it quickly comes to his attention that the two of you are on the verge of causing a scene.

There's quite a few people watching the two of you, some more obviously than others. The two girls that tried to hit on him are muttering something to themselves and "subtly" pointing at you, something the both of you are quick to notice.

You can't help but shrink in on yourself, feeling exposed and more than a bit humiliated. Why the fuck couldn't he just act normal and wait until you were in private to tell you this? Jude's eyes flicker from them, then back to you. Then, with a scowl, he grabs your hand - not your wrist this time and pulls you along behind him to the other end of the lobby where he first appeared from. You can't fight the blush that works its way onto your cheeks as his calloused palm envelops your own. Since when is hand-holding this embarrassing? You feel as if you're committing an act of public indecency.

Thankfully, your previous anger helps to combat the unwelcome feelings, and you silently fume as he pulls you into one of the several elevators lined up along either side of the hallway. Punching the button to one of the highest floors, he finally lets go of your hand, and you can't help but sigh out of relief.

There's an awkward moment of silence as the elevator begins to rise. You stare at the excessive amount of decor. It's a fucking elevator, why does it need a mini- chandelier?

"I... thought you'd come earlier." Jude breaks the silence first. "London traffic ," you muttered. More silence. The silence lasts for the rest of the elevator ride. The doors ding open with a merry chime. and Jude steps doors ding open with a merry chime, and Jude steps out, hesitating briefly to ensure that you're following before striding down the hallway.

You trail behind, marveling at how your shoes slightly sink into the plush carpeting. The whole place is impressive to look at, actually, and you get lost in the painted gold embellishments on the light blue wallpaper.

So lost, in fact, that you don't notice when Jude abruptly stops in front of a door, turning to face you. You look back just in time to face plant into his chest.

Letting out a startled yelp, you quickly jerk back and lose your balance, falling straight onto your ass. He just stares down at you, dumbfounded, as you rub at your nose with a wince. Why the fuck is his chest rock solid? You think to yourself, groaning.

"Look where you're fucking walking," Jude mutters with a glare, extending a hand for you to take. Prick. You bat it away, stubbornly standing on your own with only a tiny bit of struggle. He just rolls his eyes and turns to unlock the door, cursing as he fumbles with the key. It jingles a few times, and then the tell tale click of the lock gives way. When the door is open, you can't help but eagerly follow him inside, admittedly curious to see what a rich boy's apartment looks like. Does he have a master bathroom? TV's everywhere? Maybe some gold bars lying around? It's just a whole lot of nothing, much to your disappointment. He throws his keys on the kitchen counter as you take in your surroundings with a raised eyebrow.

The whole place is... minimalist, to say the least. Save for a few dumbbells lying around, a couch in the living area, and a clean and tidy kitchen, the rest of the space is bare. There's obviously appliances and a large flatscreen TV, but you'd really expected... more. Maybe some gold curtains, a regal throne even. Jude walks over to the living room and throws himself on the couch.

"Is your nose ok?" He asks, kicking his feet up on the ottoman in front of him with his arms folded behind his head.

You're not sure if it's the sudden privacy, the recent memory of colliding face first with his chest, or the fact that his pose just really... accentuates everything, but it's then that you really realize just how tight his tank top is, how clearly it defines every dip and curve of his muscles underneath and... no wonder you busted your nose.

Shut the fuck up shut the fuck up shut the fuck up

Forcing a nod, you swallow thickly.

"Uh- yeah." He grunts in response, then finally hunches over to rest his elbows on his knees - much to your relief - before sending an apathetic glance your way.

"So."

"So," you mimic uncertainly, finally taking a seat as far away from him as possible.

"The party is in six days," he says.

"And let me tell you, there's gonna be a lot more to it than just acting like you're obsessed with me and... vice versa or whatever. You're gonna be around more..."

He trails off, scrunching his eyebrows. "How did you put it? "posh" people, innit. So yeah, you're gonna need to learn how to act proper and, y'know, when to finally shut the fuck up."

He says that last sentence with a smirk, and you glower at him from your position on the couch.

"Are you serious? 'Act proper?' What, you think I'm some kind of barbarian?"

A wolfish grin stretches across his face. "You? A barbarian? Nah, you're too ditzy to be a barbarian."

Ditzy. Your father's eyes darken as he leers down at you, teeth grit together. You try not to cry, ignoring the way your eyes water as the broken plate trembles from within your grasp. "Fucking brain-dead," he slurs, breath reeking of alcohol. "That's what you are. You gonna grow up to be as ditzy as your mother? Huh?"

"Don't say that." You can feel anger rising, reddening your cheeks, but you do your best to remain calm. He shrugs, your serious tone going unnoticed.

"Ditzy. There, I said it. I mean, you probably don't know shit about the customs, so-"

You stand, still trying to maintain your composure but everything feels a bit fuzzy now.

"I said, don't call me that." And the fucker just laughs, glaring at you like he's challenging you.

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Because. I don't give a shit about the other nicknames, but that is something I don't want you calling me." Jude glowers at you for a few moments, before relenting with an eye roll.

"Fine. Jesus." And then he's blabbing off stuff about fancy customs, and you're finally starting to calm down, trying to tune in on what he's saying.

"My dad's kinda seen as the authority of the household, even though that's really my mom, but if you see him, you need to address him with respect."

You couldn't help but giggle a bit.

"Is that funny to you?"Jude's voice cuts through your thoughts, and when you turn to look at through your thoughts, and when you turn to look at him, he seems pretty pissed.

You just shrug, not really sure what to say. And Judd does not like that. "Hey, you might think all of this is a joke and that's fine, but my dad's cool. So just be respectful, asshole."

"I never said I wasn't going to be!"

"Then don't laugh when I tell you to be respectful!" You don't have a response to that, you'll admit. "Bitch," he mutters under his breath.

"Dick wad," you respond just as quietly.

"The fuck did you say?"

"Nothing, you stuck-up asshole." And the tension's back, thick in the air and hanging onto every spoken word. You stare each other down for what feels like an eternity, before you finally fold. This is all so exhausting.

"Ok, we can't do this anymore." He wrinkles his nose. "What?"

"This!" You gesture to him and then yourself. "We keep going for each other's throats and it's like, how are we supposed to pretend to be in love, when everything feels like a constant fight?"

"Not my fault."

"It's both of our faults!"

"You basically insulted my father," he growls. "You got pissy when I told you not to call me 'ditzy!' It was a simple request!" Jude groans, flopping back onto the couch to pinch his brow.

"Fine. What are you suggesting?"

Folding your hands together, you give him a stern look. "A truce."

He raises an eyebrow. "Which means...? Cause let's get one thing straight. I refuse to act like your little buddy buddy. We aren't friends." Sighing, you rub at your eyes.

"Ouch. That's not what I was aiming for, but thanks for the confirmation."

He just grunts, crossing his arms like a petulant child. "Ok, so then what?"

"No more fighting. No more trying to rile each other up every second of the damn day. That's what it means."

You stick out your hand.

"Just until the vacation is over. Alright? I'm not asking you to be friends." Jude looks at your outstretched hand suspiciously.

"So you're gonna actually listen to what I have to say about the party? The shit you're gonna have to learn?" You nod. "And you're gonna need to listen when I tell you not to call me something."

He thinks on it for only a second longer before grabbing your hand to shake it.

"Fine." And when the both of you let go, you almost want to celebrate because, score! Your fake-boyfriend maybe doesn't totally hate your guts anymore. Jude just scoffs, reaching into his pocket to fish out his phone.

Taglist: @valerysimps @like3dbypierregasly @enjoymyloves @capriaura @neymarssideboo @mad-die45

[judgementdaysunshine]

Ok, I'm requesting for my girl Liv Morgan. Anything works for me. I'm currently listening to a song called Boyfriend by Dove Cameron if you want to use that as the title.

TA DA!

Stuck in gear

Pairing: Liv Morgan x Fem reader

Description: While trying to change out of your ring gear, you have to call your girlfriend to help you

Warning: Minor Swearing

You groan in relief after walking in your locker room immediately closing the bathroom door after placing your towel and change of clothes on the sink. You get half of your gear off leaving you in your upper gear but as you reach your hand back for the zipper you don't feel it thinking that it was a bit higher than you thought then you thought it was lower feeling all around the zipper line until you stare in the mirror wide eyed "Fuck come on!" you try many ways to get it off once realizing the zipper was gone, from trying to pull it over you to tearing it off you just couldn't and all you really wanted to do was get it off, shower, put your clothes on, patch up your bruised and injured body, and head home with your girlfriend after the long night and match you've been through feeling tears of frustration and exhaustion brim in your eyes. You text your girlfriend asking where she was not getting any answer so you spammed her begging her to come to your locker room and help you, after fifteen minutes you hear loud footsteps and her yelling "Baby! Are you okay?!" you yell out leading her to open the bathroom door only to find you on the ground still trying to tear the top of your gear off "I am stuck in this thing because the damn zipper fell off and I need help" she looks at you before walking to you then out of the room finding a pair of scissors that you had used to cut a string of your shirt earlier and forgot was in the other room grabbing them and cutting the top off you, you groan in relief as you stand and hug you "Thank you baby god I feel like I can breath again af-ow babe what the hell?!" she slapped you on your bruised shoulder "I thought something happened to you!" you apologize leading her to sigh and join you in the shower changing in your clothes and grabbing her pair from her locker room and bringing them to her. After getting patched up, watching the rest of Raw, and congratulating your friends the two of you head home hiding your face when she laughs about the situation while telling Rhea over the phone on the way home, you both change in pajamas and lay in bed as exhaustion washes over you "I love you" she smiles pressing a kiss to your cheek "I love you baby, but if you ever scare me like that again or get stuck in your gear I will beat your ass" you roll your eyes smacking her butt causing her to yelp making you laugh before the two of you were wrapped together under the covers in each other's arms and asleep.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: I (ENTP) am conflicted on whether to try to resolve or end this unstable friendship with an ISFP.

For context: I’m an ENTP and my friend G is an ISFP. We’re both in our late teens and have been platonic friends for a year an a half. We share the same friend group. I’m neurodivergent, have anxiety, and tend to have depressive episodes.

At the beginning of our friendship, G was facing issues in their home life and mental health. I was supportive of them, and they gained the courage to ask for help from their family to get therapy. G seemed very insecure so I often tried to push them out of their comfort zone bit by bit. It worked out quite well as G started trying out new hobbies and overall seemed more satisfied with their life than before.

While I thought everything seemed to have worked out, I noticed G (who admitted to me) started becoming overdependent on me. G often mentioned how I was the ‘only one’ who helped them and how much I changed their lives. I simply took these statements as an exaggeration of gratitude as I didn’t think I played a big part in improving their mental health, as after all had G not been willing to change/ get help, nothing I tried would’ve worked. I also seemed to have been wrong as our friend group has pointed out G puts me on a pedestal.

This is when I noticed these patterns of behavior from G:

-if I don’t text them every day, G assumes I hate them and starts spamming and interrogating me. I don’t text anyone everyday, never have. To me, that’s too much. I’ve tried to explain to G if there are periods I don’t text back, it means I’m either busy, stressed, or having a depressive episode. G still always assumes the most negative outcome: I hate them. I’ve been in the wrong at times where I’ve not texted back for 2-14 days due to burn out from school/ tiredness from dealing with G’s unstable emotions.

-if G gets upset because of the texting issue, they ghost me for a couple of days/ weeks unpromptedly. Unadding me on social platforms, blocking me, you name it. Once they miss me again, they go back to spamming me, sometimes apologizes for ghosting. But it’s all meaningless as they go back to ghosting yet again. When they ghost me, I try to give them space as I literally can’t reach out to them but G sees this as evidence of their persistent assumption that I’m unaffected/ don’t care about them. I’ve expressed to them that I do care about them many many times, it’s just that G’s mood swings I have to deal with mentally exhaust me.

-G is very insecure about their identity and sensitive. We are complete opposites in personality. But lately I’ve noticed they’ve been putting on this sudden act of being nonchalant and carefree. Many times they copy what I would say and how I would phrase it word for word. Our friend group has pointed this out on several occasions. It creeps me out at times.

-At times when I sense G is upset at me, I ask if anything is wrong, try to resolve it. They act nonchalant and say nothing’s wrong (It seems at times they imitate their false impression of me to get me to act towards them the same way they do). It’s a lie as they later black and ghost me soon after. Ghosting periods don’t last.

And currently that’s the state we’re in. I’m unadded on all platforms after I had a conversation with them asking if they’re alright to which G said ‘perfectly fine’

I’ve told G multiple times how much I don’t like the spamming, how I’d rather we text less often (everyday is too much for me), how i’m don’t like them psychoanalyzing my every word and action and drawing a baseless conclusion on my character, many times I’ve had to explain myself when I’ve done no wrong. They do this so often I actually struggle to believe we’ve only known each other for a year and a half; it feels like it’s been forever.

What to do in this situation I’m left in?

----------------------

It is a difficult situation to be in. The most important thing you need to understand is that G's negative pattern of behavior isn't about you. It's really about their own insecurity. Insecurity can arise from many possible factors, such as anxiety, stress, low self-worth, fear of loss, or traumatic relationship experiences. In extreme cases, insecurity can manifest as neediness, clinginess, lack of healthy boundaries, and even emotionally manipulative behavior.

Insecurity isn't something you can fix for someone. The most you can do is be reassuring, try to make them more aware of the problem, and if they're receptive, offer to help or get them help for it. At the end of the day, they have to recognize the problem and seek out a remedy. Unfortunately, some people can't stop repeating their destructive patterns and have to lose relationship after relationship before they admit that they need help. It remains to be seen whether G is one of these cases.

Where does that leave you? If you understand that this issue isn't about you, you might be able to approach it from a more objective vantage point. For example: You'd see G's suffering clearly and address it sensitively. You'd be more focused on support rather than offense. You wouldn't get baited into conflict. You'd communicate matter-of-factly rather than escalate. You'd be a better judge of when to engage and when to step back.

Being more objective won't solve G's problem, but it might bring down the intensity and make interacting less exhausting for you because you're not taking things too personally. This would be the path to take if you genuinely care for G and want to keep this relationship.

Of course, you are free to choose the exit. One of the reasons insecurity often leads to relationship breakup is because there eventually comes a point where all the focus is taken up by one person and the other person's needs are entirely neglected. I think you have reached this point. G doesn't listen to you, doesn't believe in you, doesn't respect your boundaries, doesn't take action to care for your well-being. At this juncture, you have to ask yourself what value this relationship brings to your life. If a relationship really brings you nothing but hurt and pain despite all your efforts to improve the situation, what is there left to do but exit?

Before that point, though, you can communicate your needs and draw your boundaries more forcefully, and give plenty of warning to G that you're reaching a breaking point if nothing changes on their end. Unfortunately, given how much the relationship has deteriorated, I believe it is necessary to be more direct and blunt about your feelings at this point. However, it's risky, because it can go one of two ways: Either G gets shaken into facing the reality of their insecurity and makes a change, or they sink further into insecurity and destructiveness. Either way, you'll know the truth about what is or isn't possible for the future of this relationship.

I'm not saying the only options are bear it or quit it. Right now, there's still a possibility that G is amenable to change if you raise the topic of their insecurity in the right way, though good communication. After all, I'm sure you have some powers of persuasion and you have helped them change their perspective before. However, once that possibility has been exhausted and you no longer see any hope for moving forward, then you have to search your heart, consider your values, and make the best decision for the sake of everyone's well-being.

[redux-iterum]

i am aware you can't answer this right now, but! as a patron, your Tigerclaw. ough. it's been a good couple months(?) since i read his death scene and i am still reeling from the impact (in a positive way). just. everything. i am lacking in words tonight but just how emotionally charged it is, from every angle, in every way......... man. thats the kind of shit i hope to write one day. "emotional impact that feels like being beaten with a really heavy pillow (in a good way)" my beloved <3

OH same patron anon from like 2 minutes ago with the Spoiler Comment Question, here with a Hopefully-Not-Spoiler Comment Question. Once again; I love how you write Tigerclaw!!! the fact that I was, in the moment, disappointed and a little upset that Lionface was chosen as deputy over him, the fact that, on more than one occasion, I found myself wondering-slash-hoping that he was somehow, in some way, a red herring and not. y'know. responsible for the deaths that have ALWAYS been his fault in every rewrite and retelling. as if I didn't already know. as if it wasn't a fact I've known since I was a small child reading WC for the first time. damn. as i said before: many thoughts no words to express them But I Love, patron anon back for round 3. sorry that im spamming you with messages i just keep having More Thoughts and apparently no filter. I love how you write Tigerclaw as, like..... not a grand cunning mastermind, possibly not even in his own eyes. Prideful, yes, but there's this element of.... i don't quite know how to put it. He's just a guy. He's just a guy who loves his mate and his son, and is excited for the kits his mate is expecting, if a little apprehensive. Just a guy who is dangerous and terrible because he is so, so very certain that he knows what The Right Thing To Do is, and is willing to do whatever it takes to reach that ideal, but his idea of The Right Thing To Do is so horrible and skewed and dangerous. He does what he has to do, or what he thinks he has to. Does he see it as self-sacrifice, in a way? stooping so low for the sake of those he cares about? sorry again for the multiple asks but i'm obsessed with villains like this and have only just now managed to put the words together. cause like.... a lot of truly awful people aren't masterminds. They're people who are so very certain that they're in the right, and are so very wrong about that. i do love flamboyant, Evil-with-a-capital-E cartoon villains a lot (when done right), but there's something about having a villain be so normal, so clearly An Average(ish) Person, someone who may not even see how horrific their actions are. NOT THAT ANY OF THIS IS AN EXCUSE, it's not that they're misdirected or confused. it's like... the dead certainty that they are Correct and other people are Wrong. There's something very..... tactile? about it. "Real" might be the right word but it doesn't feel exactly right. It's like, this is a person you could meet. A person you could know. And they're just quietly (or not-so-quietly) abhorrent in so many ways. sorry for rambling my head is full of thoughts tonight and i apparently cannot shut up </3

Much gratitude and flustering for these asks, man, golly. I've hoped that I've improved in writing over time, and asks like these make me more confident. Thank you for reading along! (And for pledging on Patreon, an absolute of course.) Apologies for not getting to these sooner, I was saving them for today.

Your assessment of Tigerclaw is spot-on. I would say he THINKS he thinks of himself as a normal, good husband and warrior who's doing his best and having a humble life. There's only so real that can be when he also has the constant thought of "I am the only one who sees the truth and I need to Fix Things because no one else can". He thinks he's so much more honest and realistic than he is. You know people like that. I know people like that. The most dangerous person is one that can fool themselves.

[dookins]

Dear Bots, Bounties and Babes Readers and Fans. I Apologize, But The Project Has Been Put On Hold...

For the full explanation, please read below. I preface all this with the following: PLEASE do not spam or bother the other author/artist involved. They have every right to pursue the path they've chosen... For those who log onto the story now on AO3, you will notice that there is an 'orphan_account' that stands beside my handle. I don't understand the 'why' behind it, but @enigmacomics (enigmacomics.tumblr.com since the link will no longer work) has decided to sever all ties with me... They work exceptionally hard, and run many events and have a job while still attending college. They have incredible ambition, and personal life goals to meet. When it came to our story, I always tried my best to assure them that I understand school comes first. I graduated art college as well, so I understand the time that needs to be devoted to improving yourself. During our last conversation, it had been a particularly busy month, so no writing took place at all. Which was fine with me. Finals and shopping alone can destroy all your time. The last time I spoke with them, everything appeared fine. We were discussing holiday plans and decided to doodle a bit together on Discord during the break. They were even planning on sending something in the mail. A week goes by without a word or a parcel, but thats fine. Holidays are crazy. I message them once with a link to comic I think they'd enjoy. Week two goes by. Now that's odd. We haven't gone that long without speaking to each other in months. I message them a cat gif playing with a Christmas tree, wishing them a good holiday. The day before new years eve, still no answer. I ask them if they're alright, and that they can talk to me if about anything if they needed help or support. As of New Years Eve (11:30pm or so) I went to send them a doodle I did with a 'Happy New Years' attached... ....and it didn't send. They had blocked me on Discord. Than I saw their tumblr was blocked. I tried to reach out to them on Instagram, asking why they had blocked me, and that I was more than open to have a dialogue and listen if they needed. But they blocked me again. And than finally I noticed than that they orphaned our story... I've been worried sick about them. And scared that I some how am the cause. I don't know what I've done, if anything at all. If it's an outside third party causing all this, if they're going through something mentally strenuous and need help... Or maybe, if I didn't know my friend as well as I thought. If I really ever did.

I really hope they're not in trouble. Or that I'm the cause.

I heard that they still have an online presence and that they are still uploading things elsewhere. I thought these past 10 months together were amazing, and that we were having a blast. If this is what they truly want, I'll respect that. But I admit... my heart feels like it's been shattered. The story was wild and so much fun, but it's not what I cared about most. It's them. And 'if' I'm why they wanted to leave, I gotta respect that. I just thought I was worth a bit more. A conversation. An apology. A goodbye... Sorry. It weirdly feels like I'm grieving... Anyway we managed to bring ACT 1 to a close. I'll be uploading the rest of the chapters in massive chunks, so, at least ya'll get to see what we made. And who knows. If they come back one day, maybe we can do more. Or maybe we can do something else.

[celeidh]

Someone messaged me that a certain person was saying in anons that she was afraid of me because I had “r worded” her which is a disgusting and heinous rumor to spread. I thought it was a certain someone stirring up shit and then I’m shown screenshots of someone I thought I had no beef with, someone who could have messaged me any time, was afraid of me when I hadn’t done anything to her recently at all. So it correlated with what I was being told and what was showing on DC.

Was my reaction great? No, I was pissed the fuck off. I still am frustrated. Because I would never physically hurt anyone here unless it’s self defense. Now if one of you came up to me and started to beat me up, I’d do anything in self defense. But I’m not going to just walk up and hit a bitch for no fucking reason. I was raised to never start a fight but to finish one.

What is the most I would do online? Well at most I’ll call you a bitch, tell you where to jump, and post screenshots of you being a fuck up. And if I can find a way to get you to stop threatening me every five seconds, I will, like outing what gets your bf bothered. But that is the most I will ever do.

So people acting like I’d do worse is disgusting to me because you’re borderline accusing me of doing shit I would never do. I don’t like being accused of shit I don’t do. And this person in particular knows that, she’s known me since 2019. She knows what upsets me and knows what to say to hurt me and at the time I thought that she was trying to accuse me of doing horrible things to her.

I did not know about her irl situation because she didn’t add that part til yesterday. Now it makes sense. So I do apologize for misunderstanding but she limited the information. It’s not my fault I wasn’t given the entire story. But it did hurt my feelings to see that out of the blue for no reason, she could have just talked to me and said “hey I’m going to say this and in no way am I bashing you” like she did on May 7th.

I would have talked shit out with her.

So I am sorry for my poor reaction. I was very upset and I’m upset that I keep hearing from people who said they were friends of hers and so on.

As I once said, a lot of miscommunication, misinformation and misunderstandings leads to us fighting 90% of the time.

If we had all left tumblr and stopped being lied to by other people, she and I would most likely have stayed friends longer or at least stayed civil longer.

This being said, while I’ll take accountability for my actions, I am tired of being blamed all the time by the same person. I am tired of them not taking accountability for their actions and behavior. It’s exhausting and I’m over it.

I will also note that some of what I said to her in my one, lengthy message to her, was issues I had bottled up from March of this year. I kept a lot of my problems with her to myself and I was fed up with what I had been hearing. I heard she was mad about the trip I’m taking with my friends. I heard x y and z and I’m annoyed by it. So it all boiled over and I felt I needed to get it off my chest. And I did.

I am also hearing that she’s upset with me for being friends with someone she doesn’t like. It’s none of her damn business who I choose to befriend or speak to. And if Dareka would like we can post our conversation to tumblr to show just how much we’ve said to each other since April. Me saying “I’ll be civil” is apparently so diabolical of me to say in a message.

However idk if what I’m hearing is true. I have someone’s blog blocked so I can’t see what she says. I’d say she could always reach out to me and confirm with me if x y and z were really said or not but I don’t know if I ever want to talk to her again.

This is really the most I’ll reach out. I was told she said I spammed her yesterday which I did not. Spamming means sending more than one message. You can check the one message I sent here @kayleidescopic-past . I saw what Makayla sent and it was also one message. No one spammed her. We just expressed our feelings towards her unusual and slightly hurtful comments and behavior. While we weren’t nice about it, it was not spam.

I would argue that this is spamming. I have no idea what she was yelling at me for since she unsent it. But it was while I was too sick to be awake and see what she was saying. I didn’t find out about this until about a week ago.

I’m dying to know what she had said there lmfao.

I cut off the message she didn’t unsend because I don’t want to share her actual words. I just wanted to show that this is the difference between one lengthy “fuck you” vs spamming “fuck you” over and over if that makes sense.

No I don’t believe she was saying “fuck you” but it’s just my way of wording things out.

In the end, this was misinformation and miscommunication between two people who clearly don’t trust each other but are hurt by each other.

I will only apologize for my reaction. But I will not apologize for anything else. I am not the blame for what’s happening to this person IRL. I am not at fault for not knowing what’s happening to her IRL. I am not responsible for what she posts and says about me. It is not my problem that she refused to reach out in the beginning to properly establish communication. My fault is for letting myself be hurt by her words and for allowing myself to listen to what other people say, truth or not.

Do I believe she said something awful about someone a year ago? Yes. But I believe she mixed my name up with someone else’s name by mistake. I don’t think she meant me I think she meant someone else who had hurt her but gave out the wrong name. Because sometimes that someone else goes by the name like “acolytewitch” on tumblr. I think that’s a possibility. There are so many people who go by the name “witch” that it’s easy to mix people up. So it is possible she wasn’t talking about me a year ago. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt this one time.

Anyways. I want to be done with all this.

This last post is in response to some screenshots my friends sent me last night.

I have no problems with this person unless they choose to start problems with either myself or my friends. She should know that about me by now.

I hope this clears things up and that we can just move on. If not, oh well, I’ll still sleep well tonight.

Edit: sorry if there are typos, grammar mistakes and repeats, I had to write this out in multiple parts while at work. So some of it was written before 12 am and after.

[eepychonker]

"recharge" — thomato streamer au

661 word count.

a/n:: rhythm cat is a random game i made up at 00:22 am. i apologize if there's already some sort of game with that same name. i also really enjoy the gamer bf x shy bf trope, so of course i was going to write it. i feel like i had a cringe take on it though, so i'm also sorry about that.

ayato had just come home that day from a week-long business trip, and he was utterly exhausted. he spent a week away from home, and a week away from his precious boyfriend. ayato knew thoma was going to stream soon, but he sat on his boyfriend's lap anyway.

thoma had offered to put off the stream for another time, but ayato wouldn't have any of it. however, ayato is extremely camera shy, resulting in thoma covering all of ayato in a blanket.

thoma smiled down at the man on his lap "are you sure you want to stay here? you know i'm about to start streaming."

ayato stuck his head out from under the blanket. "i missed you so much though.. i wish i never went on that trip."

"i know, my love; but, you know it was mandatory."

those words earned a tired whine from ayato.

thoma smiles and holds his lover's face, caressing his cheek with his thumb. "i'm going to start streaming now. if you feel overwhelmed, you can leave."

thoma slides his headphones on. ayato rests his head on thoma's shoulder as thoma starts the stream. thoma wraps an arm around his lover and smiles into the camera. he waits for his viewers to enter his stream before speaking.

"hiya, chat! before any of you say anything, yes, i have my boyfriend in my lap. he just got back from an exhausting trip, so he needs to recharge," thoma pauses to place a small kiss onto his lover's head. "i won't really play anything too crazy since he's here, can you guys give me some suggestions?"

the chat box floods with messages, though a particular game catches his eye.

"rhythm cat? that sounds interesting. chat, can you give me more details about it?"

the chat box floods with messages again, resulting in thoma struggling to read them all.

"okay, so i just make the cats jump along with the rhythm using the arrow keys? that shouldn't be too hard. i could do it with one hand, as long as i pick easy levels."

thoma promptly opens up steam to search for the game. he buys it, then starts up the game.

meanwhile, ayato is listening to everything thoma says— well, trying to listen. he forces his eyes open, wanting to stay awake as long as his body allows him. he nuzzles his head into the crook of thoma's neck, earning a tigher hug from thoma's one arm around him.

thoma is clearly enjoying himself. he chose a beginner level for a chinese song called "flammable and explosive." thoma adored the fact that the cats meow along with the lyrics, and he swiftly adjusts to the controls.

after about an hour of playing, he finally calls it quits. by this point, thoma had somehow gotten so used to ayato's presence, he forgot ayato was on his lap. "chat, is there any other games you guys want me to play?"

once again, the chat box is spammed with messages. he settles with minecraft, and spends a little over two hours playing.

eventually, thoma felt it was time to end the stream. he had already taken his headphones off and started saying goodbye to the fans when he heard soft snoring coming from his boyfriend. thoma looks down and has the cutest sight, right in front of his eyes.

ayato is sound asleep, his head draped over thoma's shoulder and his arms around thoma's torso. thoma felt his lover breathing against his chest.

his heart melted at the sight.

he turned to the camera again and shook his head. "okay, chat. i know i was going to end the stream, but my boyfriend is 'recharging his batteries.' i refuse to move and i don't want to just sit in a chair doing nothing until he wakes up, so i'll just continue streaming until then!"

messages flooded the stream, most of them pleased with ayato being the cause of a longer stream.

end.

[surpriseroundtellyourfriends]

1) I love this blog, I love seeing your ideas and takes and rambling about shit is my favorite way to indulge the brainrot

2) I’d love to hear more about your thoughts on Cadmus and Florence. I haven’t thought about them that much but now that I am, I definitely see the vision

3) I might spam your ask box, sorry not sorry

YES! DO NOT APOLOGIZE!!! it is literally my favorite thing in the whole wide world to ramble about my Visions (TM) and giving me prompts just enables that brainrot

Cadmus and Florence friendship propaganda

In episode one, it's stated that while the rest of the group doesn't typically work closely together, Cadmus and Florence have worked together in the past.

Carol: Do things usually go sideways for you? Florence: Well usually I'm not working with this particular group of individuals altogether at once, so... Cadmus: NORMALLY there's just two of us. And not those two. (gestures to Ian and Isabelle)

There are a hundred small moments that imply how familiar they are with each other's quirks and patterns.

Florence: How many times I gotta tell you you'll catch a cold like that, honey? Cadmus: If you find anything that fits me, I'm willing to listen.

Cadmus: You're not doing that Noir thing again, are you? Florence: Don't just call it 'that Noir thing,' it's part of how I think!

"Cadmus is scrunched up really tight in the front seat to make sure that Florence has enough leg room." "She notes how considerate you are! And—doesn't say it out loud, but..."

(During the wrestling arc) "You ready?" (Florence and Cadmus IN UNISON:) "As we'll ever be."

Fun fact! 100% of the time Florence has used Unguarded Moment (her "inner monologue about a teammate to give them a buff" ability), she's used it on Cadmus. Literally every single time.

Both of them are so protective and have tried to push other party members behind themselves (including each other) at least one time. The mental image of them wrestling to take a hit is like that one comic of the guys diving in front of the gun.

Big dog and small dog energy. Please never forget that Cadmus tried to hide behind Florence from Zelda in E2 but it didn't work because she's HALF HIS SIZE and he's a GIANT.

After Vice outs Cadmus's epithet just before their fight, Florence is the one who figures out Vice's epithet to get a bit of revenge.

During the murder dungeon, Florence and Cadmus flank Isabelle with torches to keep her safe. Everyone knows by now that Cadmus is Isabelle's work-dad but Florence is just as much her work-mom-older-sister-cousin who wipes her face off with a napkin and steps on Ian's foot when he's mean to her.

Aroace 🤝 Bi solidarity (the aroace is canon, the bi is headcanon unless Roob ever stated Florence's orientation and I didn't notice)

TL;DR they are both so fucking good and have both gone through hell and back (we see it with Cadmus, but it's heavily implied Florence has had her own share of misadventures) and they NEED to TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS or I'm going to blow up a house

[samithefungus]

Warren with a platonic relationship with reader who tends to tease him (like bringing up embarrassing moments) in a annoying older sibling way without any real malice. (Bonus if Warren knows some embarrassing moments about the reader and teases them back.)

Thanks Anon for the request, hope you like it <3

Warren x Reader (Platonic)

WARNINGS: Nothing this time

-You've known Warren since you were little

-Your parents were friends, so you basically grew up together, as if you were brothers

-You are older than he and these makes you remember a lot of embarrassing things he did when he was young

-You used this to your advantage to tease him

-Once you followed him when he was supposed to teach the trio and in the middle of his lesson you said, "Hey Warren, if you're an eagle why don't you show us how you fly?"

- "I haven't my wings yet, so I can't fly" he replied.

-That's what you wanted him to say, so you said, "That's not what you told me when you tried to fly by jumping off a low wall and falling face to the ground ."

-You caused a little laughter and saw Warren blush and shout at you, "I WAS 10 YEARS OLD, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT I NEED WINGS TO FLY!!!"

-You could tell Warren was a little hurt, so you treated him to a restaurant-style meal to make it up to him.

-Sometimes you like to remind him that he's not an eagle just to annoy him, and the conversations are like:

- "Hey Warren, you know you're not an eagle" you say.

- "Yes I am" he replies to you.

- "No, you're a Worm" you say again

- "Eagle" he replied.

- "Worm" you counter.

-And you continue like this until one of the two gets tired, generally it's you since because Warren is really determined to consider himself an eagle

-You have an embarassing picture of him when he was in elementary school and sometimes, when you remember that this picture existence, you send it to Warren without saying anything just to annoy him

-Once you left your phone unattended and he deleted it from the gallery, fortunately you managed to retrieve it and once you got home you spammed it to him in your chat 

-Doing a calculation you must have sent it to him about 100 times that night; Warren had to beg you to stop

-Plus when you two were little you were taller then Warren and now.....You're still taller than him, that's why you enjoy teasing him about it

- "Warren, where are you? I can't see you!" you say while Warren, visibly irritated, stands a few centimeters below you

-Sometimes you rest your elbow on his head just because you know he doesn't want you to.

-There is a reminder....Warren might get his revenge and sometimes he does.

-In fact, he also knows some embarrassing things about you.

-For example, one night you were teasing him a little, as usual....

- "Warren, do you remember that time you wet your pants twice in one day," you said.

- "At least I didn't do that during the school play," he replied.

-You pretended to feel offended about it only to make him feel bad, and you do it

-Warren apologized 10 minutes later almost in tears for touching your 'sensitive moment'

-You felt guilty and then you apologized too.

-Sometimes when you're teasing him and he's had enough he starts saying "Okay, Stop!" and then continues with phrases like "Real friends don't say/do these things," just because he knows it annoys you

-But other than that you love each other.

-You're best friends...You consider yourselves almost brothers

-You two has a set of nicknames for each other that can be either cute or mean

-You know everything about each other...And in sometimes this can seem a little 'creepy'

-When one of you is feeling sick or down, the other will do his best to make him feel better

-Once you got sick and Warren, in order to take care of you, got sick too.

-You are obliged to listen to his podcast, but if you don't want to, that's okay.....Don't worry about poor Warren's feelings

-Please listen that podcast

-You spend a lot of time together, which is why some people think you are a couple

-Both of you deny it by saying, "Ew no, he's like a brother to me" or something like that

-Even though you tease each other you two have a great relationship of friendship and brotherhood and neither of you imagine your life without the other

[allylikethecat]

ally!!! i have to say i keep growing ever so frustrated at ao3 as at the end of every update you so generously give us it reminds me once again that i am unable to leave you more kudos when i so wish i could spam you with it every five minutes to show my appreciation for these fics!!!!!!

the ducklings update was incredible and i so loved seeing an insight into fictional!george’s mind, i especially enjoyed how much a packet of shredded cheese caused so much trouble hah — whilst i am loving the angst between them, I am also very excited for them to (at some point) actually communicate with each other lol

i have to go on record to say that as a diehard lover of ‘you know where the city is’ that is the fic i voted for this week — this does not mean however that i am not very much eating up all discussions of the vampire fic (& the equestrian fic!!!) and i can’t wait to see what you come up with (on the discussion of vampires & twilight,, i was always team edward and the idea of vampire fictional!george??? amazing.) and I of course was very happy to receive a ducklings update regardless.

also!! these january prompts have been so good and it’s so cool that you’ve stuck with it the entire month — opening up tumblr and finding a little ally fictional!matty and george drabble has been so fun and u should know that they will be sorely missed come february!!!!

yours,

— 💌💌

(p.s. sorry about the obnoxiously long ask lol!!!)

Hello My Dearest 💌 Anon!

First off, NEVER apologize for sending in a long ask!! I am giggling and twirling my hair upon receiving it!! I love writing obnoxiously long responses and so this is perfect!!!

I too very much wish that I could leave multiple kudos on the fics that I read, AO3 really needs to get on it and allow us to do so! I am so thankful and honored to have written a fic that you feel that way about 🥺 Just know that I appreciate YOU so very much and am so grateful for you not only reading but taking the time to send me such a lovely, long, thought out ask! 🥰

AHH Thank you so much for your kind words about the newest Ducklings update!! I'm so happy to hear that you enjoyed it! Shredded cheese is a very important snack option and poor Fictional!Matty thought it was going to solve all of his problems, but alas, halfway through it became the cause of them. I was a little nervous about this chapter since we were changing things up a little bit with a Fictional!George-centric interlude and am so happy to hear that you liked it! We might have a little bit longer to go before Fictional!Matty and Fictional!George get it together and truly communicate but don't worry it is coming and I actually have a plan for it now (huge thank you to @sundrownsthehouse for helping establish DIRECTION for this fic!)

AHH thank you so much for supporting You Know Where the City Is as well!! The 2014-Disaster-Bi versions of Fictional!Matty and Fictional!Taylor are some of my favorite characters I've ever written, and I am so excited for y'all to see how their story unfolds! I will hopefully have that update finished soon, I've been slowly but steadily working on it since the last update!

The Vampire brain rot has become so very real and I am so excited that people are willing to indulge me in it. Once I get the Christmas fic finished, I cannot WAIT to start diving into my new WIPs 🤩

ALSO omg thank you so much for sharing such kind words about the January OPT prompts, it was a little project that I started for myself, and I'm just so flattered that people are also enjoying them, and taking the time to share such lovely feedback on them! They have been hard to keep up with, but I'm very proud of myself for sticking with them so far, and cannot believe we're over halfway through!

Thank you so much for reading, and for sending in this lovely, lovely, ask! I apologize for writing you a small novel in response! I hope you continue to enjoy my works and I hope I'll be able to a You Know Where the City Is update up soon! I hope you have a fabulous rest of your week!

❤️Ally

[rawrroarart]

Hi everyone, semi-important update regarding this blog and why I don't post as often. I say semi because if you're just a casual looker of my blog, you can disregard this because nothing in my blog will change and I'll still be here.

But for the rest of you interested in reading more, I do have a lil potential treat at the end of this post, but it's a little long-winded to get to that point since I'm going to vent a little about my art. Though whether you read my ramble or not, you are free to claim the treat at the end (it's only a potential treat because it's based on if you even like it LOL). I'll be posting in the LWA tag, as I pretty much am a LWA blog, but I do apologize for clogging the place with something a bit unrelated, and this should be the last time I do it

Anyway if you're still reading let's get to it:

So obviously I've been dead in my blog and I hardly, if ever, post art. Now I guess it's normal to see something like this for blogs, as life gets in the way for most people and things just start to faze out. Circle of life or whatever. But truth to be told, I am still very much interested in drawing often, and as of late my life isn't even currently "in the way" that would prevent me from doing so. So why aren't I posting more frequently or even drawing at all if even on my own?

Drawing isn't fun.

That's really misleading, but let me clarify: I have too high of an expectation for myself, and with so many people watching, I get overwhelmed and even nauseous really about not churning out my absolute best All the Time. My situation obviously isn't unique or special or anything, and is of absolute no fault to you or anyone else following me. And I know, of course, no one is telling me to always churn out 100%, but it's the fear inside me to not disappoint even one of you, and I try to be a perfectionist and people-please all at once. Trying to draw like this isn't fun.

Aside from that, I also have huge issues regarding "spamming" people with my posts. This is a honestly stupid issue because no one is forced to follow me, and I know people are here because they want to be here, but I just can't help but feel bad when I post too frequently, especially combined with content that's subpar. Even this post alone I feel guilty about, since no one really "signed up" for a whole rant about inadequacy, but I figured it would be good for me especially for what treat I mentioned earlier.

These two issues together make up part of the whole sha-bang of my standstill. I get stressed if my content isn't up to standard and I get stressed if I post too often. So I just do nothing. And the more I do nothing the more stressed I get about having to be even better than the last time I've drawn, because it's obviously been so long that I must have improved on my own! (I haven't)

Anyway what does that bring us to? What is my attempt of a solution? Something obviously needs to happen to fix this, and I just want to have fun creating content again. So here's the "treat" that I mentioned earlier: I have a new art blog or should I say a doodle/scrap blog, and you are free to join me on my new journey.

How is this different from my current art blog, you ask? Well for one thing, it's going to be mainly for doodles, blurbs, anything I want really. The real kicker is that I also won't be tagging my posts (maybe occasionally if it's funny enough), so they shouldn't reach a bigger audience and spam the designated tags they would be in (like LWA). I can also more appropriately convince myself that, if you followed me, you especially are consenting to a bunch of posts (if I even post that much ha), and I'll also hold a soft spot for you LOL

You also don't have to follow me, as I'm sure a lot of my doodles will make their way to my art blog here, but in the form of one singular post labeled "doodle dump" or something. So no ones really "missing out" on anything. Following the new blog just gives you first access to whatevers going on with me

Note: I will still be posting art I put a lot of effort into on this blog!!

Of course this is all experimental, and it could all just go to shit, but I want to try to do something to get out of my slump. And before you ask "why can't you just draw without posting," it's because I thrive on validation also which is also why I get put in a standstill LOL. So yes please follow me if you'd like, I would be happy.

On another note, I'm also planning to purchase an ipad to actually have a better way of drawing, as my current digital art set up is really janky, laggy, and off-putting that it makes me not want to try either. But apple's art app looks so nice and seems perfect for me. I've set up my kofi to accept donations with a milestone if you wanted to lend a helping hand. It should be linked in my bio!

Anyway yea thanks for reading this far and supporting me. I'll do my best to keep producing content and improve my skills.

Tl;dr If you're here for the "treat," I have a new doodle blog but you consent to no thoughts head empty if you follow it. I'm also looking to buy an ipad sometime.

[gumnut-logic]

Apologies for spamming with Virgil pics. I haven’t managed to do much for him today. I’m suffering from fog brain and am sooo tired, so expect more later in the week when I’m feeling a little more energetic.

But in the meantime, after a day of zero writing, I thought I would highlight one of my favourite fics I have written that focusses on Virg. I really need to write a sequel to this one that happens after Jeff returns...and doesn’t realise something about one of his sons :D

-o-o-o-

The world was blurry as he let his head slide on one hand and stared out through the kitchen window. Gordon was in the pool, swimming his morning laps. The sun had yet to rise and Virgil had broken several laws of physics rising himself. This time of day should not exist. But then it didn’t, because it wasn’t day yet because there was no sun!

But no, supersonic big brother wanted to do some special training today. Training that for some reason had been scheduled at sunrise.

It was possibly important, likely scheduled just to get his ass out of bed at this godawful hour. Occasionally there were some issues with having your brother in command. Brotherly love only went so far, brotherly snark had more mileage, and Scott did have that twist of his lips when he announced the schedule.

Four pairs of eyes had immediately turned to him and his return glare had been insufficient to deflect the amusement that followed.

But it was okay. It was fine. He had his own skill drills up his sleeve. Two am would be convenient for him next time, definitely. After all, they all had to keep their skill sets up, didn’t they?

In the meantime, it was black coffee and repeated attempts to focus on Mateo. Mateo was distinctly blurry, and dark and...

“Hey, Virg!” Alan whacked him on the back.

His face nearly ended up in his coffee. “Alan? What the hell?”

“And good morning to you, too, big bro. Ready for this morning’s run?”

He stared at his bright and peppy, yes, peppy, youngest brother. Augh. “Go away.”

“Aww, did the big bear have to get out of bed a little early?”

“Alan...”

“C’mon, Virg, it’s gonna be fun. A race around the island, wind in your hair, blood pumping...it’s gonna be awesome.”

Virgil stared at him, his brain slowly picking up that something wasn’t quite right. “Alan, why aren’t you comatose?”

“What do you mean, big bro?”

A slow blink. “You hate mornings almost as much as I do. Who are you and what have you done with my little brother?” His eyelids drooped all of their own volition.

“It’s called prepared, bro. I’m in it to win it.”

Virgil’s eyes narrowed. “Are you on something? Because if you are, Scott’s going to kill you, and once I’m awake, I’ll resuscitate you so I can kill you again.”

“That’s violence, bro. It’s cool, I promise.”

An arched eyebrow that almost hurt. “What did you do, Alan?”

“Nothing. Well, nothing you aren’t already doing.”

“You drank coffee.”

“Noooooooo.”

“What did you do?”

“A little caffeine is all.”

The arched eyebrow flipped into a frown. “How much?”

“Enough.”

Virgil’s back straightened. “Alan.”

“I’m fine, bro, I promise. I know what I’m doing. I’m not stupid.” A blond frown. “Besides, it’s not like you don’t do the same with your coffee after coffee after coffee technique.”

Virgil’s lips thinned, but to be honest, the kid was right, he didn’t have a leg to stand on. But... “You’re not yet an adult, Alan.”

“Yet, I take the responsibilities of an adult, Virgil.”

“Your body isn’t fully mature!”

“Well, thanks for that, Doctor Virgil!”

“You have to look after yourself!”

“Hard to do anything else when I have four brothers mother-henning me all the time!”

“We worry about you!”

“Well, don’t! I can look after myself.”

“Alan!”

“Virgil!”

“Hey! What the hell is going on here?!”

Virgil found himself looming over his little brother, one brain cell after another slowly catching up with what the hell was going on. Bright blue eyes were staring up at him defiantly, his little brother’s shoulders tight and fists clenched at his sides.

Virgil forced his own fists to uncurl. There was a reason why he preferred not to see this time of day. Disturbed sleep disturbed his calm, his control, and things like this happened.

Scott loomed over the both of them and Virgil took a step back, slumping back onto his seat and hulking over his coffee almost in a pout. “Better ask Alan, he’s the one being stupid.”

“Speak for yourself, Virgil.”

“Both of you, shut it.” Scott could glare with the best of them, but Virgil had exhausted what little energy he had and ignored him. “Alan, dosed himself with caffeine.”

“Virgil!”

He could feel the laserbeams shooting out of Scott’s eyes switching targets and landing on Alan. There was no satisfaction, just blergh. Here we go.

And sure enough, Scott started in on his little brother. There was, of course, shouting. Virgil idly wondered how come Scott got to yell and he didn’t. But then Virgil didn’t really like yelling anyway.

Coffee. Its warmth drifted down his throat and spread into his bones. Oh god, he needed it. Maybe a second one after this? But then the word ‘caffeine’ came up amongst the explosions beside him and he reconsidered. No need to become a target himself.

He let his foggy mind drift a little. It was all his fault really. He could have gone to bed early, but he had made the mistake of getting into a discussion online with an engineering idiot. The topic had become heated, chemical formulas launched like bombs and laced with reactive equations enough to take out half the engineering community. In the end, he’d thrown a hissy fit and sat up to three am writing up his argument. He’d chucked it onto his blog with a great deal of satisfaction and was looking forward to rubbing it in the man’s face.

Just as soon as he could boot his brain.

Coffee, give me strength.

Gordon wandered in at some point, a damp towel around his neck. Being Gordon, he prodded the conflagration in progress and got burnt. The argument became three sided.

Virgil considered snoozing on the counter.

Then he hit on the idea that he could possibly sneak back to bed. He stood up slowly.

Brains bounded into the room, tablet in hand. “Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Brilliant, so b-brilliant!”

The argument came to a sudden halt, four pairs of eyes turning towards the engineer.

The engineer didn’t notice, eyes glued to his tablet. Max bounded in behind him, whirring excitedly. It was the robot who prevented the distracted Brains from walking into the kitchen counter.

“Oh, thank you, M-Max.” His eyes didn’t leave the tablet. “Did you see the p-polymer ratio? Amazing! Such elegance. You know, I am quite d-disap-pointed that I didn’t think of this myself. The applications are going to b-be in-numerable.”

The distraction was enough to break the fuel lines of the argument and Scott settled for a final threat, Alan a final glare and Gordon, a snort of derision. The moment to escape was lost and Virgil slumped where he sat.

Damn.

“Virgil, you going to eat before we run?”

Alan was right, Scott mother-henned.

“Maybe.” Ugh, c’mon coffee kick in. He needed operational braincells.

Scott was peering closely at him. “Earth to Virgil.”

“Shut up, Scott. You got me up at the ass end of the day, I’m here. Don’t expect much more.”

His brother grinned, and Virgil had the odd urge to thump him. Just because this was his element, didn’t mean he had to be a smart ass about it. “Your next physical is going to be hell.”

The grin faltered. Aah, that’s better. Hmm, perhaps his brain was slowly booting. Go, coffee.

“Virgil! You h-have to see these equations. They are brilliant!”

What? Brains’ tablet shifted the remains of his coffee to one side and Virgil found himself staring at a series of numbers that made little sense at this time of the morning. “Brains, looks great. Can I review them later? I’m not all here yet.”

The engineer didn’t appear to hear him. “Look at the polymer decay to reaction ratio! This is a self-healing polymer!”

Huh? He frowned and forced himself to focus. The appropriate neurons clicked into place in his brain and suddenly what he was seeing made sense.

Shit.

He grabbed the tablet, eyeing the equations and spinning calculations in his head. Brains was right. This was perfect. The polymer would be able to self-heal with the application of a mild electrical current. Give it a pattern to follow and it would populate and keep it populated, even after disturbance.

“Did you discover this, Brains?” He frowned. There was something familiar about this. Maybe they had discussed it recently.

“Oh, no, this is V. T. Green. The man is brilliant.” There was that word again. Brilliant.

But it still took a second for it all to click into place.

V. T. Green was his blog. V. T. Green was his pseudonym online, used for obvious reasons to keep his identity hidden. The blog had been for amusement originally. A place to stash his favourite music and art, but at some point, he had found himself venturing into engineering circles and getting into discussion with the online community. It made for interesting discourse and he was able to keep up to date with some of the latest innovations. Not that he could share his own much and IR was well ahead of the majority of the world thanks to one Hiram Hackenbacker, but on occasion he would fiddle with ideas and make suggestions. It was also a great place to postulate out-there concepts.

The equations on Brains’ tablet were Virgil’s.

“Where did you get these?”

Brains was full of far too much energy for this time of the morning. “Green p-posted them during the night and they have h-hit the world by s-storm.”

“What?”

Brains frowned at him. “Haven’t you heard of V. T. Green, Virgil? He is o-one of the leading engineers on this p-planet. I have been f-following his b-blog for over a year n-now. You r-really m-must check it out.”

“Um, must have missed that one.”

“H-how could you m-miss such an important s-site? I know you k-keep up to date. The man is at the centre of a massive discussion about polymer cohesion and decay. Last night, Coloncous in Spain had the nerve to challenge him in the most ridiculous manner. I was so close to cutting him off myself, he was embarrassing us all, but Green replied with this. As expected, it is a brilliant explanation and Coloncous had no choice but to concede and crawl back into the hole he should never have come out of in the first place. He was a fool to think he could go up against Green. But this solution has so many possibilities. Do you realise this could be integrated into Two’s cahelium hull and she would be able to heal damage midflight? Four would be able seal herself in an underwater emergency. So brilliant.”

Virgil stared at the engineer. He didn’t think he had ever heard Brains say so many words in a row. And his stutter had disappeared two sentences in.

“What did you say about sealing Four, Brains?” Gordon’s ears had obviously pricked up at the mention of his ‘bird.

Brains’ attention was immediately drawn to the aquanaut, his verbal diarrhoea spilling all over Gordon and freeing Virgil.

Taking the opportunity, he pulled out his phone and brought up the website.

Shit!

He had notifications enough to clog his inbox. Due to the early hour, his phone was still on silent and he hadn’t heard any of them. A quick glance identified several prominent names and universities.

Shit. His eyes widened.

He glanced up at his family who were now eagerly discussing safety seals for Thunderbird Four. Even Scott’s eyes were wide and enthusiastic.

Shit.

Um.

Yeah.

He needed more coffee.

-o-o-o-

V. T. Green

[ask-chef-teruteru]

I have ten siblings and all of them are busy.

You deserve more than three stars, you deserve them all.

Behold. Your name in lights.

(feel free to delete this, I just needed something to do for like, 5 minutes. Love you and your blog, if this is spam I'm really sorry to be annoying.)

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“Hey now, no need to apologize for lettin’ me feel like a star for a second, hon. Besides— only spam I hate is the kind that comes in a can!”

“ ‘Kay maybe that’s an exaggeration— sendin’ me one question over n’ over n’ over n’ over n’ over again would be a bit much, but this is just in the same vein as another ask, but not identical, so don’t even worry ‘bout it. While we’re on the topic, it ain’t even a bother if the exact same ask does get sent more’n once. The inbox ain’t always gonna reliably get every single ask every single time, n’ I don’t mind stuff gettin’ sent again just to make sure I got it, cause sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I’m just slow ‘bout answerin’, n’ am a lil’ wishy washy ‘bout the order I answer asks in, but… I think y’all get the idea.”