>You asked Darkleer for one more light. A particular reason, you said, that you would be happy to explain to him. A torture for the both of you-- to wait to see each other any amount was always too long-- but you needed the timing to be just right.
>It has to be a Sunday night, now. And then, you will have him Monday, too.
>Stupidly, selfishly, you hope this does what you want it to. You are not trying to replace memories, or trade one love for another, or ignore the happiness you had so many sweeps ago. But your heart is broken, and this might help with the pain for the time being. And in this, you promised you'd tell him what is on your mind, what is weighing so heavy on your heart. The promise is always to be honest. And so, you will tell him about everything swirling in your mind. You miss being a mother. You want children again. You were so happy doing legislaceration again. You can't ever go back to it. You are more frightened of your fate than you've ever been before. You miss Rufioh. You miss Theodore. You feel lost. You wish that none of these issues were present. You wish that you could be better for him. You're trying to be better.
>It's not fair. You think this often, when you ask him for comfort, when you make your desire known, when you try to catch his attention… One day, this will even out. One day. But for now, you take, and you take, and you take. You know that bringing him red velvet cookies baked with care, and brandy, and blue hydrangeas will not balance anything, but it certainly can't hurt. A peace offering, a token of your affections. All you can offer him, all you can do for him, you will.
>Before you go, you sit at your vanity, curling your hair, painting your lips red, making yourself as beautiful as possible. But this time, you dress yourself in blue.
>You don't wait for a message, choosing to send yourself along as soon as you're ready, and when you see him, when you find his warm gaze with your own, when you realise his arms are outstretched for you to fall into, you set everything on the ground before you run to him, arms flung around him as you bury your face into his chest.
>This is part of the promise to be honest. You love him, you love him, you love him, and you will tell him that a million times over. You will hold him close until neither of you can stand it. He will feel your heart, your love, for the rest of your lives. Every light, you think. Doesn't matter which one. He will have love in all of them.
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Okay. Watching The Bad Batch for the first time and I’ve only gotten 2/3rds of the way thru the first season thus far, but I feel I now understand the characters well enough to start making conjectures.
So here’s what I’ve got so far:
Due to the inherent Muchness of heightened senses, I wouldn’t doubt a sensory processing disorder for Hunter. It’s clear that he’s gotten a handle on it (aka learned to adapt to, compensate for, and understand it) by the time TBB appears in The Clone Wars, but I bet it was hard to deal with when he was younger.
Wrecker appears to have a developmental/learning/intellectual disability of some sort, compounded by a TBI. He struggles with bigger words and is impulsive, along with other notable markers. This could have stemmed from the accident that left the facial scar and blinded his eye, but it seems that, based on how the other three original bad batch clones act around him, that this has always been a thing. A TBI likely added to this, because he seriously just keeps getting smacked in the head, the poor guy. He’s just a walking headache.
That being said, he likely gets lots of migraines. Seriously, that much head-smacking can’t result in a fun, happy time up in his head, pain-wise. I suspect the other four get them, too. Hunter has to process a lot of information from all senses, and Crosshair from his sight. That’s a lot to deal with, and I know I get headaches from a lot less. Tech… he’s staring at screens all day. Blue-light headaches much? And Echo… he’s literally got so much going on up there, technology wise, that it’s undoubtedly the cause of many a migraine. He’s one bad interface connection from a seizure, practically.
Crosshair has some attachment issues, I think. Like I believe all the clones would, had they not been programmed otherwise. They never got held by a caring individual, for gods sake. Maybe later generations had older brothers to hold them every so often, but that’s not enough. They never got one-on-one care. And, since his programming never kicked in correctly, Crosshair has all of that just shoved into his twig body. So, RAD, due to his obviously avoidant nature.
Tech is autistic and I don’t think that’s debatable, really. Like that textbook autism (which leads to a discussion about his savant nature being paired with a highly autistic-coded character and the harmful impact that could create for us autistic people in real life. The same harm of Wrecker’s disability vs how he’s treated as an ‘it’ in the show (said explicitly by Cid) and how Crosshair, with evident attachment issues, is demonised as the villain. BUT THATS ITS OWN ESSAY TO WRITE.)
Omega has ADHD and that one’s not heavily coded like the rest, but I think it fits!
None of them have true favourite siblings, but each are easier to go to for different things. Hunter, for leadership and emotional advice. Crosshair, for silent understanding (pre-chip activation). Wrecker, for emotional understanding and grounding. Tech, for intellectual advice and rationality. Echo, for interpersonal advice. Omega, for intrapersonal advice and a fresh, new perspective on everything.
I truly believe, in my heart of hearts, that Hunter would have the highest, shrillest scream. It doesn’t make sense, but it just seems right (to me personally).
Tech and Echo spend a lot of time on Echo’s implants and prostheses. Echo clearly isn’t using them for their original intent—some not even used at all—so they have to be updated, modified, or taken out. (As evidenced by the—I’m assuming what is a—neural interface he now wears and the lack of other implants he used to have in TCW.)
Echo has chronic pain, due to phantom limbs. That, and it must take a lot out of him for those prostheses. They're melded to him in a way that seems... not user-friendly. Techno Union wasn't doing it because they wanted him to live a fulfilling life. They did it because they needed him. They wouldn't care about his pain. It's unlikely that he doesn't feel constant pain. I'm guessing his everyday average pain level it's equivalent to what normal people (i.e.: people who aren't me or other chronic pain-havers) would consider a 4 out of 10.
I have a feeling that most of them know the basics of swimming, but likely aren’t good at it—Wrecker especially. And, with all that armour, it probably wouldn’t matter if they could swim or not. That shit will absolutely sink them. Omega, once taught, would LOVE IT, though.
Crosshair would let a tooka adopt him. As in, he would let the cat follow him around. Whether or not he’d do anything for or about the tooka… I don’t know. But he’d allow it. (Wrecker would dote on the thing if it followed him. Lula and said tooka would be his best buds. He may like explosions, but he’s a sweet guy at heart!)
Echo and Crosshair have absolutely held staring contests. Asserting dominance. (Somehow, despite not having been involved in the first place, Wrecker has won at least two of them.)
Hunter has a taste for meilooruns. Tech does not.
All of them snore. Echo’s even has an electronic buzzing to it. Tech is absolutely the loudest. Omega has wished to smother them all in their sleep.
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1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!
2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr
3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!
overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!
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I hope you're having a wonderful day 💗
⊹ 。⁺ 🌸 !!
My friend . . this was so nice of you !! ♡
I’m honored you took time out of your day to wish me well :D
Thank you so much !!
It was a good day though I’d say! I went on a walk with my dogs since it was nice outside, and someone told me they liked my smile when I was out today — plus I got some new books, a plushie & a cute new fragrance !!! ♡ ♡
(It smells like vanilla cupcakes! This is my favorite thing to smell like . . actually just any dessert !!)
Honestly though, even if it hadn’t been a good day I think I would have still tried to find something to smile about. Cause I think there’s just always something to be grateful for no matter how I’m feeling c:
What about you? I wonder what sort of day *you* had now! Maybe the weather was nice where you are, too? Or you did something that made you happy??
Well, I really hope so !! ♡ ♡ ♡
Sending hugs, hearts, and much happiness to you! I pray that your day was a good one like mine was, and that you take care ~ !! xoxo
🧁 ⊹ 。⁺ 🤍 ˚。⋆୨୧˚ ♡ 🌸
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This isn't exactly damning because I have since 4 operas in my life (all in the last couple of months) but the version of Die Zauberflote I went to see at the cinema tonight was a little bit meh. Did some really cool stuff with effects conceptually but it wasn't like Mindblowing like the stuff I'd seen before and most of the really clever or impressive bits in both the production design and performances were... Literally in the trailer which made me want to see it in the first place. And the mystical magical forest cult had all the excitement and dress style of like, a particularly stuffy american suburban protestant church. It just wasn't that interesting narratively which can be fine if the production is cool as fuck, but all the really cool stuff was pretty minor and didn't make it for it...
Like the Don Giovanni a few weeks ago was grey but it was stylistic and weird and saying something and was used to convey things about the characters and story. This was just grey because.
I felt kind of bad for the group of teenage girls sat in the same row as me because they seemed to be bored out of their minds and left in the intermission before any of the notably good bits, and if they were just poking their heads in to see what the fuck the deal was like i did a few weeks ago, they were probably put off forever and I probably would have been too.
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