#shanks crack

[joi-me-hoi-me-noi]

Winning against them in a fight - OP!

This includes: Shanks, Luffy and Zoro

TW: blood... only a bit but still including this!

SHANKS -

You watch as he wipes the blood from his nose with the back of his hand. He was smiling, adjusting the hat on his head. Why the fuck was this man smiling at you?

"What's so funny?" You walk toward him, cracking your knuckles with a slight upturn in your lips.

He stands, his build towering over your smaller one. He spits on the ground and tilts his head at you.

"Nothing's funny, I'm just happy a pretty little thing like you is taking the time out of your day to fight little ol' me."

Heat makes its way to your facial features as you place your hand over your mouth to hide your smile. He sure as hell knew how to make you flustered.

"Shut it! Do you yield?" You ready your staff for another attack, eying his movements.

His crew watches from a distance, shocked that a 'pipsqueak like you' could take down their captain.

"I'll yield if you go on a date with me." He holds out his hand to you.

"Deal." You place your hand in his and put your staff back on your back.

You feel his hat sit on top of your hair as you adjust it to not block your sight. He throws you over his shoulder and walks back toward his crew of men.

"Alright men! Drinks on me tonight!"

LUFFY -

"Damn, did you eat a devil fruit too or something?"

Your eyes widened but then you laugh out loud. "You ate a devil fruit, I thought I'd be dead by now...you're pretty weak."

He tries again to hit you. You dodge yet again and smirk.

"You have bad aim too." You click your tongue and shake your head, smile still etched on your face.

He then shoots himself forward, screaming as loudly as humanly possible. You hold out your hand, gripping his neck as he struggles against you.

"Tap out." He doesn't listen to you, he's fading.

"Tap out before you die." He squeezes his eyes shut and then opens them, tapping quickly on your forearm.

You let him go and watch him fall to the ground, taking big gulps of air with tears in his eyes.

"You're not worthy to have me on your crew, small one. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll take my lea-" You look out to the ocean and your boat is sailing away...without you.

"WHATTHEFUCK!" Your hands cover your face and you let out a loud groan.

Luffy puts his hand on your shoulder and smiles at you. "You gonna join my crew now?"

"Yes captain, I will." A soft smile graces your face as he jumps up and down with happiness.

He then groans in pain and you hold out your hands, telling him to sit down. "Dawg, I hit you pretty damn hard in the ribs...do you want me to carry you?"

He tries again to get up and then just sits on the ground still.

"Yes."

ZORO -

"What the-" Your heel connects to the underside of his face.

He groans and doesn't go down.

You hum and smile at him. "That usually messes people up. Just a little bit of blood for you, cutie."

You point to your nose and he rubs underneath it, red liquid stains his knuckles. "Nice hit, but it won't happen again."

You smile and raise a eyebrow at the man in front of you. "Oh really? Let's see if you can keep up."

You rush toward him and sweep under his feet, causing him to fall. The katana in his hand presses against your neck as you straddle his waist and hold his wrist, pinning it to the ground. Your blood drips down his katana and you hum yet again.

"Very good. You got me but you put your guard down too quickly."

You pry both katanas out of his hands, deflecting the one in his mouth and holding the other up in the air, preparing yourself to stab him. Zoro tries to deflect it but misses entirely then the sword goes into the ground a few inches from his ear.

Still holding the sword, you lean down and whisper into his ear.

"We'll meet again. Don't let this happen again, I won't hesitate next time."

You remove yourself from him and walk away from him, not turning back.

He stays on the ground for a while before collecting himself and sheathing his katanas. He was utterly speechless at his performance with fighting you. You almost killed him.

"Definitely not letting that happen again."

[zorosleftmantit101]

One piece men reacting to you telling them.

"-You make my heart feel warm"

Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, kid, killer, buggy, crocodile, corazon, shanks, ace, sabo, mihawk, smoker, Katakuri

A/N: Thought I should probably throw in some fluff a lil bit of crack.

I made Sabo a lil french man ❤️

C/W: fluff, Swearing, mentions of heart attacks, mentions of telling ppm to kts.

Luffy:

"Are you having a heart attack?"

Zoro:

"me?" Staring at you with disbelief.

"No Zoro the fucking wall... yes you!"

Growls and pouts at you being an ass but will pull you into his lap.

"You make my heart feel warm too~"

"What was that Zoro?"

"NOTHING I UHH TOLD YOU TO KILL YOURSELF!"

Sanji:

What are you gonna say at my funeral now that you've killed me.

"A loving partner and a strong fighter, Sanji will br forever missed"

Sanji

2004- 2023

Death by nose bleed/s

Kid:

"Yeah well your a shit."

Your sad cause you was just tryna be a cutie

Dw I got you come to me *licks lips deviously*

As your walking away all sad Kid yanks your arm so your sitting on his lap.

"I guess you make my heart feel things too, but dont go letting that get to your head!"

Killer:

"Oh cool didn't know I could do that"

He's not dumb he's just being a dickhead on purpose to get a reaction out of you.

Buggy:

"I do? I- uhhh I mean OF COURSE I DO I AM THE GREAT MPPH-"

Shut this man up with a massive smooch or a fist to the face your choice.

Crocodile:

"Is that so darling~"

His calloused fingers motion for you to come forward.

Walking towards him as he sits at his desk he pulls your hand into his brining it to his lips.

"Your so cute doll, one day im going to put a ring on this finger make you mine- make your heart only warm for me~"

Mihawk:

"Ok"

Corazon:

Grabs your wrist kissing it while smiling before twirling you and dipping yoy in his embrace

"Mm you make me heart bloom like the flowers in a thousand springs my love~"

You where ready to ravish the man right there if he didn't trip sending the two of you crashing to the floor..

Ace:

"Say on god"

Sabo:

"You flatter me Mademoiselle, my heart warms at your affection as well"

Shanks:

"Thats kinda gay"

Smoker:

"Oh thats nice umm you make my heart feel... umm..."

*proceeds to walk away out of sheer embarrassment*

Katakuri:

"Are you /srs or /j"

[cranity]

poking the bear

[chinelacanta]

at risk of losing his ‘red haired’ title from how green jealousy makes him

[shanksxbuggy]

[generalkiira]

its them!

[wiverly]

Beckman: I left a list of instructions for while I’m gone.

Shanks: This just says “Guys, no.”

Beckman: Apply that to every scenario you can think of.

[onepiece-polls]

One Piece Crack Ship War - Round 1 Side C

Propaganda under the cut.

Iceshiv: I see these two men and go...make those men kiss immediately because that's how my brain works honestly we just make everyone kiss no matter how silly it might be. Shanks is a little wild, a little silly and is made up of -1 arm, 90% booze, 6% potential deadbeat supportive father, 2% graveyard because he's a ghost like where is he AT and 2% flowy cape. Iceberg? This man can HANDLE that, he grew up alongside FRANKY OF ALL PEOPLE he can handle a silly drunken pirate man. Drinking buddies at first perhaps and then it progresses into something more. Maybe they're just fooling around, maybe it's something more but I am telling you there's something that could blossom in these seas!

Hearts of Nika: Turns out we saw Nika before the awakening!

[lewiscarrolatemybrain]

[the-obnoxious-sibling]

Considering how buggy is insecure would he even felt secure if shuggy happened? Like, would he think he’s enough? Believe in shanks feelings? Especially with shanks being so chill, I honestly can’t imagine shanks getting jealous or, even with how much we love to portray them this way, simping towards buggy? And yeah, I know it will not happen, just thinking about their dynamic. Your post made me think about how big buggy insecurities actually are.

mm, yeah, that is something i’ve speculated about a little now and then. (i believe the end of this post is where i got into it in most detail.)

i think teen buggy would end up overwhelmed with doubts about his place in shanks’ life if they got involved romantically—but i think he was pretty overwhelmed with doubts about his place in shanks’ life regardless, you know? it’s the same insecurity, regardless of what type of relationship they have.

in present day, on the other hand, i feel like shanks would have to do so much work to convince buggy to give him a chance in the first place that it would be difficult for buggy to still doubt the sincerity of his feelings, lmao

like, maybe shanks appearing indifferent to someone flirting with buggy would make buggy feel insecure? but i think it would be more likely to piss him off.

[pandr-bur]

Shanks runs a strawhat pirates fan acct he told me

he’s a proud dad

[zorosleftmantit101]

One piece mens reaction to you calling them a slut.

Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Kid, Killer, Law, Shanks, Buggy, Crocodile, Doflamingo, Ace, Sabo.

A/N: my forhead is big for all the disrespectful thought I keep to myself.

C/W: General shit post, sweaing, slut shaming, 

Luffy: thinks you're complimenting him, doesn’t realise its derogatory so he goes around calling himself a slut, fucking idiot. Zoro: Just flexes his man titties and walks away. Sanji: gets on his knees and starts going on about how he's only a slut for you, liar. Kid: “Yeah, and what if I am, huh? That's what I thought, hoe.” Killer: just looks at you like “What.” Shanks: Is the biggest slut and he knows it. Buggy: bends over and flashes his ass at you. Crocodile: kills you. Doflamingo: "and your point?" Ace: *crying hysterically* "DON'T SLUT SHAME ME, YOU SLUT" Sabo: "kill yourself."

[goingbuggy]

i’m pretty certain that’s not shanks’ own wedding. from what i’ve seen in the japanese fandom the general consensus is that it’s not his wedding and he’s a guest. (a popular theory is that it’s uta’s wedding but idk about that…) i’d bet it’s something to do with the giants (which oda didn’t want to reveal yet) just from the way it’s drawn is meant to deliberately hide the size of the church and the other guests. there’s a guy in the background who’s cheering at the church while facing away from shanks at the same time the doves are being released. it’s a crucial moment and shanks is just off to the side reading the newspaper.

i’m so certain shanks doesn’t have another kid, that would fuck up his character. oda loves shanks, and he loves his father-daughter relationships. he’d never make shanks into the kind of guy who’d willingly start a new happy family while uta’s back in Elegia suffering. it also just goes against the whole theme of bonds being stronger than blood? shanks leaves his adopted daughter miserable and suicidal, but takes care to ensure his biological child he hasn’t met is safe and loved? i just can’t imagine that being the ending.

i also see japanese fans saying they’d think shanks was a scummy guy towards uta if he went and had a kid, so i’ve seen people leaning towards beck instead. apparently oda emphasizing that beck loves women is a big indicator. 

another reason some fans say it’s not shanks is because makino calls him ‘taichou-san’ which is a very formal address. how people refer to each other is very important. so there’s a hint in how it’s distant and like a stranger’s behavior.

my personal opinion is that the dad is just a regular villager or a marine. there’s a lot of men who are way closer distance wise so that would be the simplest answer. there’s a good chance oda just doesn’t know or care when only one parent matters. we don’t even know yamato or luffy’s mom.

hi, anon!! sorry for making you wait. it's actually funny that i forgot to reply to this for so long, because in that time, my feelings have slightly... changed? somewhat??? i'll explain.

i was reading the extra "road to laughtale" volumes for fun recently when i stumbled across shanks' section, and there are some interesting implications which actually contradict my previous thoughts, if true.

the language used here -- that shanks is "attending a wedding ceremony," and "performing a benediction" -- sounds less like a man getting married, and more like a man who officiated someone else's wedding. (of course, there's the matter of translation accuracy and how canon this information actually is, but...)

"benediction" in particular is very interesting. not only is shanks attending a wedding, but he is essentially giving his blessing. how literal this is, i can't be sure, but either way, it implies a sense of familiarity/closeness to a party other than himself. perhaps shanks is giving his figurative "blessing" as an emperor to one of his allies, or maybe as a captain to one of his own crewmates. or maybe, in the most literal interpretation, he was responsible for wedding two individuals in some way.

i'd love to get my hands on the raw scans and see alternative translations, but "benediction" is so specific a term, and the repetition of "attending" reads as intentional. again, we still don't know for sure, but i feel a lot less certain about it being shanks' wedding, now!!

[silvers-d-me]

OP Men Being Smartasses During An Argument

You (frustated): Can't you just try to see things from my point of view?

Stands behind you, puts his chin on your shoulder and stares into the distance: Ace, Luffy, Sabo, Usopp, Roger

Kneels down beside you, smirking, with a hand covering his eyes to peer around: Zoro, Shanks, Law, Izou, Thatch, Rayleigh

Sits down and is still taller than you, gazing in the direction you are looking, v serious but not really: Rosinante, Killer, Crocodile

Picks you up to sit on his shoulder, says everything looks the same to him: Franky, Eustass Kid, Doflamingo, Whitebeard, Yamato, Garp

Actually takes you seriously for a minute: Sanji, Mihawk, Katakuri

Takes off his own head and hands it to you, saying "Okay show me": Buggy

Turns into a bright blue Phoenix and perches on your shoulder making you almost fall: Marco

Says he would be glad to see things from your point of view but he is a skeleton and has no eyes yo ho ho ho ho: Brook

[shanksxbuggy]

here’s some results i got from the prompt generator

[ortofosforico]

IT'S MORE OF A CRACK-SHIP REALLY, BUT THERE'S EVERYTHING: THE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS, THE FRENEMIES/RIVALS DYNAMIC AND- YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, SHANKS DIDN'T GO TO LAUGHTALE JUST TO KEEP AN EYE ON BUGGY AND YES, BUGGY DIDN'T GO WITH SHANKS BECAUSE HE WAS SHOCKED AND HURT BY ROGER'S DEATH, BUT THEY HAD A FUCKIN PLAN ABOUT BEING CO-CAPTAINS AND/OR RIVALS! SO WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? AND THEN THEY ESCAPED MARINEFORD TOGETHER!! I'M TELLING YOU, IF IT WAS A SLIGHTLY MORE QUEER SHOW, THEY'D BE THE GAY UNCLES-