today, my coworkers’ refusal to see me as a man put one of our patients in a position where they felt unsafe for the third time. i’ve been at this job for less than two months total. i don’t even care about getting misgendered anymore, i just want the people we’re supposed to be taking care of to feel comfortable around me.
i work at a hospital where we have to supervise our patients in a lot of vulnerable situations. there are safeguarding rules in place for certain things that male employees aren’t allowed to be present for when it comes to female patients. and yet, the people training me and telling me what to do have repeatedly put me in situations where i’ve been forced to do things that the female patients aren’t comfortable with me doing. and because they have repeatedly failed to teach me the rules for doing my job as a man, i have no way of knowing when i’m crossing one of those lines unless one of the patients tells me.
i’ve had to watch a victim of SA stare at me in abject terror as my coworkers asked her to strip naked with me still in the room. it took several minutes for her to even be able to speak enough to ask if i could leave the room. i found out after that she broke down crying the moment i walked out. my biggest regret is that i didn’t realize what was happening fast enough to leave before she ever had to say something, because she shouldn’t have had to say it. i never should’ve been allowed in the room in the first place, because that’s not something male employees are supposed to be present for. but i didn’t know that yet, because i was training and i thought surely, they wouldn’t train me to do something that directly violated their own safeguarding rules. that moment was the first time, and it’s haunted me ever since, but it wasn’t the last time. not only did it happen for the third time today — it almost happened for the fourth, and would have if someone hadn’t spoken up to say they should pick someone else. i care for these people so deeply, it’s why i took this job, and i’m so tired of hearing the fear in their voices when they have to ask me not to do something i never should’ve been told to do.
i’m very used to the personal discomfort of being misgendered. i willingly deal with it a lot at work as well as in other situations, not because i’m in the closet (at this point in my medical transition that would be impossible), but because it’s such a frequent occurrence with my coworkers that we would never get anything done if i took the time to correct them every time. but to see it get to the point of causing such visceral discomfort in other people? people i’m supposed to be taking care of and keeping safe? that’s something else entirely, and i’m fucking exhausted.
and after all of that, some of them still look at me like i have two heads when they tell me what to do and i say “i can’t do that, only female employees can” because i’m learning now. clearly i’m already seen as a man by our patients, but my coworkers would still rather put them in an unsafe situation than just train me as a man.
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There's always those stories of Fae would have a fuck ton of kids with humans and I can't help but think it's a breeding kink. Like maybe fae pregnancies are really long, especially in comparison to human pregnancies (9 months is nothing to a fae) so when Fae realize that they just can't stop themselves from grabbing the first pretty fertile human they see.
Just imagine it; being some pretty young girl who happened to catch the attention of a fae and getting whisked away to be treated like a prized broodmare, constantly being breed. If your fae gets really attached they might just use their magic to keep you young and fertile forever.
I need to brush up on faeries 1000% because I did not grow up with them and did NOT know that lol. How... curious... 👀👀 I am very intrigued ehe
tw.yandere, noncon, pregnancy, minors dni, as always my shitty version of being kidnapped by ... something not human
You know, right now I'd walk straight into any otherworldly little trap, so let's follow that thought for a bit.
You're stressed, you feel like you're absolutely drowning in responsibilities, work, a million deadlines - so, so sleep-deprived and mentally exhausted that your judgment softens, your senses dull, your mind grows hazy. And while it will pass (all things eventually pass, don’t they?) and you’ll be fine some weeks, months from now on - the way through it all is grueling and hard, mundane and repititive.
Wouldn’t you be fortunate to catch the eye of someone out there? Someone, something who thinks you’re quite charming; soft and human and almost clumsy in the way you putter about and oh, you’re so weak. Some beautiful stranger who whisks you away, to somewhere so odd you think you’re dreaming at first. It’s so surreal, you have to be asleep, right?
And how harrowing it has to be to wake up for the first time, realizing that you made a stupid mistake some weeks ago, something you can’t even quite remember. Maybe the stranger caught you sometime during the dawn when you were half asleep- maybe they got you when you wandered too far into the forest on one of your nightly walks- it doesn’t matter, really, does it?
Your head feels as sticky as cotton candy and heavier than a brick, and they keep you in a bed of soft linen and way too many pillows, and fuck you so full you can’t make out left from right-
You can’t fight against them, and your rational thought is merely scratching at the door to your consciousness - but that underlying dread mixed with too-sweet dreams and kisses has to be terrible. Every passing day turns sweet to sour and when your stomach swells you finally manage to break away from the spell, if only to vomit out the food the stranger has stuffed you with... I feel like they’d basically keep you drugged and pliant for all eternity- with you just being able to feel that foreboding sense of ‘something is fundamentally wrong’ but not able to formulate a single clear thought. Any time you manage to free yourself from their influence, you’re immediately pulled back into it; and the memory erased. I can see them not even really talking to you - you’re like a sweet little pet to them, stupid and only there for what you can provide for them. Kept happy and dumb and pregnant, doomed to be a drooling broodmare...
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If I Should Stay
On the 15th, as promised! Ngl, I definitely almost forgot this. I have SO many feelings about this one, y’all check the tags if you want my ramblings. Buckle up. Also, happy stabbing Caesar day.
Part 1 | . . . | Part 64 | Part 65 | Part 66
Steve works his jaw, staring at Will. “Yeah,” he whispers. Will looks down. “Hey,” Steve says gently. “That’s not on you, okay? And Jonathan’s a really great guy. He and Nancy both had a lapse in judgement. They got together a while later and they were better for each other than she and I ever were.”
“But they hurt you.”
Steve chuckles. “In the moment, sure. But I’m fine now, I’ve moved on. It surprised me just now because I didn’t expect her to react like that. I know that’s not who she is as a person, and I’m sure as soon as Joyce talks to her about it and she’s had some time to think about it, she’ll come apologize. But none of that is on you, okay?”
Will shrugs, playing with the hem of his pants.
Steve glances at Eddie, who winks and plops down cross-legged next to Will, nudging their shoulders together. “My dad’s in jail.” Will looks up at him, surprised. Eddie shrugs. “I’ve had time to process, but it took me a while to realize he just isn’t a good person. Now, my momma was an angel among women, she just had a disease. It didn’t make her a bad person. But they’re my parents, so that must mean I’m a bad person with a disease, right?”
“No!” Will says emphatically. “Just because they-” he pauses, mouth a perfect circle, before flushing and ducking his head, smiling a little. “Okay. I get it.”
“Good kid,” Eddie says fondly, ruffling his hair. “Now, back to the planning?”
“Probably,” Steve nodded. “First things first, who wants out?”
“Papa hurt El?” Mike asks. Steve nods. “Then let’s kill this fucker.”
“Language,” say all the adults, and Mike rolls his eyes.
“I’m in,” Will adds.
“Me too,” Dustin says, and Lucas nods.
Steve looks around, and all the adults present nod at him. Robin squeezes his hand, and Alli pulls him closer to her by his shoulders. “Alright, little brother,” she says. He elbows her. “What’s the plan?”
Steve sighs and looks to El. “What do you think, Ellie?”
“Everyone else is dead,” she murmurs. “But if I go into the rainbow room, I will see them.”
Steve’s heart breaks. “You don’t have to go anywhere you don’t want to.”
She smiles sadly at him. “You cannot promise me that, Steve.”
He meets Robin’s eyes above El’s head, watches her heart break. “Watch me.” He looks back to El. “I know what he put you through, El.”
“He loves me.”
Steve takes a breath, shuts his eyes for a moment. “Remember what I told you, last time you said that?”
El nods. “You thought the same thing about your parents.”
“Exactly. It took me a long time to learn, but they don’t love me. And there’s nothing I can do to change that. Even if I was perfect, that wouldn’t be enough for them. Does that make sense?”
She nods. “You love me differently from how Papa loves me.”
“Yeah,” Steve whispers. “Which do you like better?”
“Yours.”
“Do you know why?”
She thinks about it for a minute. “You love me because you see Ellie. He loves me because he sees Eleven.”
Next to him, Alli makes a broken sound. Steve reaches back to hold her hand. “Yeah, Ellie. That’s exactly right.”
“I do not want to only be Eleven anymore,” she decides. “I want to be Ellie.”
“And that’s why I’ll do all of it myself if I have to,” Steve tells her. “So you can be Ellie. You don’t have to go in the rainbow room, okay?”
“Okay,” she nods, wiggling around until she can bury her face in his neck and whisper, “I trust you.”
He blinks quickly. “I’m glad,” he whispers back.
“Ellie,” Wayne says, voice not much steadier than Steve’s. She shifts to look at him from where she’s tucked into Steve. “We all want you t’be just Ellie if you want it. We’re all gonna be right there with you.”
“Thank you,” she says quietly. “Steve?”
“Yeah?”
“I won’t be strong enough. If I see Papa.”
“That won’t be a problem,” Hopper says, checking his gun. She shifts to look at him. “He’s not going to hurt you again.”
She frowns and buries her face back in Steve’s neck. “I’m happy,” she murmurs. “But I’m also very sad.”
Steve sighs and hugs her tightly. “I know how you feel.”
“I don’t like feeling this way.”
“I know, El. I don’t think there’s really any way to get rid of the feeling, though.”
“Just life,” Alli says quietly, scooting closer and laying a comforting hand on El’s upper arm. “I know it’s a cliché, but it’s true.”
El looks up at Alli. “Okay. What’s a cliché?”
Alli meets Steve’s eyes, a smile starting to spread, and Steve thinks everything’s going to be okay.
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