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#other stuff and it makes it so hard for me to feel safe and connected and he also just like is so stiff and regimented which could be good a
pepprs · 1 year
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god. ok. i think i need to see another counselor. i feel so fucking bad but this is not feeling good or right to me and i can’t make it until july not having the support i need. lol
#purrs#he just lost a very close family member in the middle of the semester and it’s fucked up all his classes and he’s behind on everything so#it’s rly hard for him to be present for me and i don’t want to hold that against him at all. but ive so rarely felt like he is seeing me and#truly responding thoughtfully and carefully to what i have to say. before and after this he spends like half the session very visibly doing#other stuff and it makes it so hard for me to feel safe and connected and he also just like is so stiff and regimented which could be good a#and fine if i felt like he cared abt what i have to say and wants me to have some say over what we talk about too. but i just got out of a#session w him and i literally feel worse bc he was asking questions that i could SEE he was bullshitting and it’s like. i know and i don’t w#want to hold it against you but also this fucking sucks and i need help and im here for you to help me and you can’t. lol#i feel so bad especially bc he’s supporting me as part of a class and he’s getting credit and training and this is so much abt him gaining t#the skills he needs to get his degree and go out in the world and be a good counselor. but i shouldn’t have to stick with a subpar#experience just so he can do well in his class. ive never had this kind of disconnect w any of the other intern counselors i worked with and#i feel so fucking horrible bc he’s clearly in a bad place and it’s impacting him and maybe working w me is helpful for him but like. i need#something better than this and i cannot make it until july without it. but i feel so so so bad
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ddejavvu · 1 year
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eddie teaching venom about love languages <33
"Physical touch is," Eddie starts, shoulder bumped up beside yours on the couch, but Venom cuts in, head hovering over Eddie's shoulder.
"That is the one where we fuck her." Venom announces proudly, toothy grin aimed in your direction. You stifle a laugh and Eddie groans, head tosses back against the couch cushions.
"Yeah. Yeah, that's the one where we fuck her," Eddie drawls, exasperated, "But that's also, like, holding hands, kissing, that kind of stuff."
"That one is my favorite." Venom declares, "I do not care about the other ones."
"Yes you do," You counter, and Venom's milky white eyes turn to you again, "'Cause there's gift-giving. That's when I bring you chocolate. And chickens."
"I gave Eddie the gift of a decapitated man once," Venom reminisces, "But he hated it. Does that mean he does not love me?"
"That's not a gift, buddy." Eddie shakes his head, trying to rid himself of the gory memory, "That's- I mean maybe you thought that was a gift, but gifts are supposed to be nice things, like flowers or a teddy bear."
"Teddy bears are useless!" Venom roars, and you know he's only speaking out of deep-seated loathing for your own stuffed animal, which the symbiote is rather jealous of.
"I would much rather receive a head," He huffs, turning back to Eddie, "Does it mean that you do not love me because you do not give me heads to eat?"
"No," Eddie rubs a tired hand over his face, "Let's- let's just move on. Uh, words of affirmation."
"You're so handsome," You croon at Venom, who blinks as you stroke the back of your hand along his goopy cheek, "And you're a great protector, I always feel safe around you."
"See?" Eddie nods, "Just like that. Nice things you say to the person you love."
"You are very small," Venom practices, and while it's true compared to his gargantuan size, it's not much of a compliment, "And I like that you feel safe around me even though I could easily rip your head off. And eat it. You would not stand a chance."
"We'll work on it," Eddie mutters, "Alright, acts of service."
"Like when Eddie gives me a shoulder massage," You hum, stretching out the tense muscles in your neck, "Or when I wash his hair for him in the shower. That's nice things you do for the person you love."
"I am good at that!" Venom boasts, "I make you breakfast sometimes."
"Yeah," Eddie nods, voice strained, and you play along even though you know that the attending to the mess that comes with Venom's cooking is more effort than doing it yourself, "Yeah, buddy, that's good. You're right, that's really nice of you."
"I am very nice," Venom agrees, bobbing his head up and down, "Are there more?"
"Quality time-" You and Eddie speak in unison, laughing sheepishly at each other. It's Eddie that continues, "Like what we're doing now. Sitting together, talking, just hanging out and being with each other."
"When he takes me on dates, too," You chime in, your voice a soft hum, "Or when you take me around the city, big guy."
You tap at Venom's cheek and he nods, blinking once in understanding.
"I like quality time," Venom decides, the thick black ooze connecting his head to Eddie's shoulder sucking him back in until his face is nestled between yours and Eddie's. It's an odd feeling on your hair but you and Eddie hold your positions anyways, intent on drilling non-sexual physical touch into the symbiote.
"Me too," You nod, and Eddie pitches in his confirmation, "Which one is your favorite, V?"
"Mm," The symbiote hums, but it sounds more like the revving engine of a car, "I do not know. I like getting gifts, but I like sitting with you, too. I like them all."
"Too hard to choose," Eddie agrees, "You?"
"More of the same," You conclude, turning your face so that your nose nudges Venom's cheek. He purrs, not unlike a cat, sounding more engine-like than ever, and his large eyes slip shut.
"Naptime," Eddie chimes, reaching over to grab your hand in his. You smile, puckering your lips to send him a kiss that you can't press to his cheek unless you break away from Venom. He pretends to catch it where the symbiote can't see, slapping it onto his cheek and acting injured at the recoil.
"Oh," He groans while you giggle, "You throw a mean kiss."
You settle against Eddie's side, and it's odd having Venom's face in between you to where you can't rest on the man's shoulder, but he's a nice pillow in and of himself. You're only seconds away from fully drifting off to sleep when Venom's jaw moves against your face, and he whispers (terribly), "Eddie. Are you awake?"
"Yes, Venom." Eddie groans, but by the sound of his voice, he wishes he wasn't, "What do you need?"
"I decided on a favorite," Venom informs Eddie, and you listen under the guise of closed eyelids, "I like the sex one best."
You can't help it; you let out a snort.
"Nice going, V," Eddie squeezes your hand, shutting his eyes once more and attempting to get comfortable, "I'm sure that's just the answer she wanted to hear."
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eddiesxangel · 5 months
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Hey!
I’m really bad at explaining stuff so bare with me haha😂
I was thinking that reader is a virgin and has never even kissed anyone, then she starts dating Eddie and he’s her first everything…
Then someday while they’re having sex, Wayne walks in on them and then he tries to talk to them about being safe and something like that 😅
The Sweet Days in the Shire | Eddie Munson x F!Reader
omg, this is so heavily inspired by my own experience...Are you in my walls? this is literally my experience with my current bf now...How did you know?!
Word count: 7.2k oops
Cw: This is NOT a fic about corruption kink. Angst, fluff, f!reader, readers first time (oral, fingering, p in v penetration) , reader and Eddie are 22. Happy ending 🤭
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*Five years ago*
"I'm going to die alone," You groaned.
Were you being dramatic? Yes. But you were seventeen and truly felt like the most undesirable girl. No one had ever shown any interest in you. Your best guy friend, Eddie, was trying to convince you otherwise.
You had known Eddie since first grade but only got to know him once you went into tenth grade.
"Come on, don't be like that" Eddie spoke.
You were hanging out in the Shire, a.k.a. Eddie's bedroom, reviewing the new DND campaign, making sure there were no significant loopholes the others could get through.
"It's true! No guy had ever liked me like that, or if they have, they're all weird, and I don't like them back... Remember Lorne? He told me he liked me out of the blue when I hadn't spoken one word to him.'"
Eddie chuckled.
"It's not funny, Eddie! What was I supposed to say? I hardly knew the guy."
"I'm sorry. You're right. It's not funny." But he was still laughing.
"Ugggggggh," you rested your head back in defeat.
"So what if non of these shitty high school guys aren't interested? You're way out of their league."
"You're just saying that as my best friend."
"I'm really not. They are all douchebags or interested in anything other than getting a girlfriend."
"What about you?"
"What about me?"
"Where do you fall in that line?"
"I'm different." He smirked.
All you could do was roll your eyes. Of course, Eddie was different. He was Eddie. Your Eddie. Eddie, who you sprung a teeny tiny crush on within the last couple of months.
"I feel like such a loser, Eds. I'm seventeen and haven't even had my first kiss." You admit, softly.
"What?" This caught Eddie by surprise.
"You heard me." You mumbled.
"Impossible."
"Well, I'm not lying." You snap.
"Don't believe you"
"Well, you don't think I would have told you if some guy came up to me and planted one on me?" You folded into yourself. Succumbing to your self-depreciation.
Why didn't he believe you? Was it really that hard to believe that you were such a loser that no one has even ever tried to kiss you?
"Okayyy. So what if I helped you with that?" he pushed you back up.
"What?"
"I mean-shit- you obviously don't have to; you probably don't want to kiss me. We are just friends. But if you want to get it over with, you can...-I can help you." He rambled.
"Okay," You answered without thinking. You've wanted to kiss Eddie for months. You wanted him to be your first.
"Yea?"
You nodded your head, afraid of what might come out of your mouth next.
"Uh-okay"
You both shift, so you're facing one another. You don't move, unsure of how to approach this. Eddie was much more experienced than you. He probably already lost his virginity at this point. But the two of you never spoke about that.
So here you were, sitting on his bedroom floor, with your eyes closed, like a statue, until Eddie leaned in. You felt his warm, plush lips against yours. Butterflies soared in your stomach. It was just like everyone always described it to be. You felt the connection, that spark. The kiss felt like it lasted hours when, in reality, it was nothing more than a peck. But as far as first kisses go, you were convinced it was the best.
"Wow," you let slip when he pulled away.
Eddie chuckled softly and leaned back on the bed like nothing had happened.
Your stomach dropped at the realization that you and Eddie were, in fact, just friends. He didn't feel the connection you had.
"Thanks," you managed to get out without your voice cracking in disappointment.
"Anytime, Pip." He smiled and then went back to the DND campaign...
To add more salt to your wound, Eddie was arm-in-arm with Veronica a week later. Eddie had never even mentioned interest in her. You spoke every day. You never once hear him display any interest in a girl... another girl when not even six days ago he was kissing you in his bedroom. And that's when you decided to distance yourself from Eddie Munson.
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*Present Day*
After a very long four years of college out of state, you were back in your hometown of Hawkins, Indiana. Freshly twenty-two, you finally blossomed into the young woman you were meant to be. At college, you got to find yourself and your people. Once you had found your confidence, you grew into yourself. You had got a haircut that flattered your face and styled yourself with clothes that made you feel comfortable and confident. Before, it used to be all-black jeans and band tees that hid your figure. But now you find wearing skirts, dresses, and colours even fun!
You used to be a late bloomer, but now you have gained many life experiences. However, you still need help in the love department. Your college years had been your party girl era, for sure. However, nothing ever went past a makeout session in the bar because you weren't like that... you wanted to have sex with someone you trusted, who you loved. Not some random stranger.
So here you were, back home in the early days of summer, and you were out job hunting. You'd been out on Main Street, in and out of stores, looking to see who was hiring, handing out your resume for about half an hour.
The sun was scorching for this time of year, causing you to start sweating and feel uncomfortable without air conditioning. As you walked by the local record store, you noticed they were advertising a job opening, and it felt like fate. You breathed a sigh of relief as you stepped inside the cool store. The door chimes jingled, announcing to anyone who was around that a customer had arrived. The store appeared empty, with not a soul in sight.
"Hello?" Your voice filled the empty air. "Hello?" You repeated once again a minute later with no reply.
"I'm here to apply for the job?" You peek around the back of the counter. As you looked over, you noticed a slightly open door. A figure passed by, but they didn't seem to notice you. As you looked over, you noticed a slightly open door. A figure passed by, but they didn't seem to notice you.
You respectfully waited a few more minutes but were becoming impatient. You decided to round the back of the counter and knock on the door labelled Staff Only.
"Excuse me." You knock and push it open a little further so you can see inside the staff room.
You notice a young man facing away from you, wearing headphones covering his ears. The loud guitar and bass sound emanates from the headphones. It's no surprise that he couldn't hear you.
"Excuse me?" You say a little louder, but it doesn't seem helpful. You sigh and walk up to him, hoping he doesn't take a swing at you for sneaking up on him.
Apprehensively, you tap the man's shoulder twice before stepping back quickly before they can react.
"What the fuck?" They rip off the headphones, and your stomach drops as you recognize the voice. Your prediction is confirmed as Eddie turns around with a frightened look on his face.
"You can't be back h-" He cuts himself when the reality of who he was talking to hits him.
"Eddie?" you cock your head in curiosity.
"Oh my God, Pippin?" he smiled brightly.
It had been four years since the last time you saw him. You briefly crossed paths in the hallways of Hawkins High, but the two of you hadn't spoken more than a sentence to each other since the day he kissed you. It was nice to hear his voice again.
"Hi," You smiled.
Eddie swore he heard angels singing when you spoke. You looked different, good, but different. More confident. More like yourself.
"What are you doing here?" He asked.
"Trying to apply for the job posting. I've been waiting ten minutes in the store calling out for someone like a moron." You giggled.
"Shit, sorry, I was just on my break." He scratched the back of his head, letting his bicep flex in his tight band tee.
You tried your best not to stare at him, but your attraction to Eddie lingered. He looked really good, having filled out more and grown out more facial hair than he had in high school. He still, however, had his pretty wavy locks. They were just a bit shorter than you were used to.
"Oh, sorry, I can come back later."
"No!" He blurted out. "I mean, it's really good to see you..."
"It's nice seeing you too; it's been a long time," you shy.
"Yeah" He sighed.
"So are you the person I need to talk to about the job or..." You try to fill the awkward silence.
"Shit, yeah, I guess so. I'm, uh, the manager." He cleared his throat.
"Wow, manager, very impressive! Moving on up in the world, Munson," You laugh.
"Watch is missy; you want the job or not?" He slung his arm around your shoulder and walked you back out to the front of the store.
You couldn't help the shiver that broke through your body when his arm made contact with you. It didn't help that he also smelled delicious.
"Well, if it means I get to work alongside you? ... Yeah, I want it," You flirt.
"Oh, I see buttering up an old confidant for a job." He smirked.
"Things with Eddie returned to normal as if nothing had ever changed. Like you never left. Like he never kissed you, then broke your naive teenage heart.
"Well, the job is yours if you want it." He smiled.
"Just like that?" You ask in shock.
"Just like that. I don't wanna go through all that paperwork and boring questions. I know you, trust you. It's full-time. $5.50 an hour. So it's yours if you think you can stand working with me daily."
"I think I can manage that."
"Great. We can start training tomorrow at 10:00am."
"Deal." You reached out to shake his hand, but Eddie only stared at it like you were crazy.
"Come on, Pippin, a handshake? Who do you think I am? Bring it in." He opened his arms up to embrace you in a hug.
Pippin. No one but Eddie called you that. It was a nickname he gave you in the tenth grade because you were smaller than him... He said Pippin was the best hobbit from his favourite book.
"You know I could have robbed the store, and you wouldn't have known a thing," you quip, trying to play off the way your breath hitched when you embraced him.
Your hormones would have to chill if you were going to work together.
"That's why security cameras were invented, sweetheart."
"Oh," You shied away. You weren't as clever as you had thought.
"I'll see you tomorrow," he guides you out the door.
"Bye, Eddie." You smile.
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Over the next three weeks, you and Eddie picked up where you had left off all those years ago. Things were good, great even. The flame that had been blown out was brought back to life and hotter than ever. There was an extreme tension between the two of you.
However, you both were avoiding the elephant in the room. It was fine until it wasn't. It was eating at Eddie. He loved having you back, but needed to know why you left and ended the friendship.
You were stocking up the new supply of jazz cassettes that came in when you felt Eddie come up behind you.
"Hey, so -uh- what happened?" he leaned back on the shelving, as he crossed his arms.
"What do you mean?" you chirp. Did you do something wrong? Was the till not even?
"With us, I mean, one day we were best buds, and then the next you were just... gone. I really missed you."
Oh, so we are having this conversation. You knew it was inevitable.
"You mean you really don't know?"
"Know what?"
"God, men are dumb," you mumbled under your breath.
"Hey! I heard that"
"Good." You deadpan.
Eddie stared at you blankly.
"You kissed me, Eddie. That meant something to me. Then you were with Veronica a week later..."
"Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, what?" Eddie's eyes went wide with confusion.
"Eddie..." You sighed. This conversation was giving you a headache.
"Pip, I didn't? I wouldn't. I-"
"Forget it, Eddie. It was a long time ago."
"Did you like me or something?" He genuinely asked.
"Or something," You mumbled back.
"Pip, I'm sorry I didn't know... I had no idea you liked me like that. I would have never offered to kiss you if I had known. I never wanted to lead you on."
"It's okay, Eddie. We were seventeen. I eventually got over it, but I had to not be around you to do that. I'm sorry I ran away... I missed you. Like a lot."
"Pip-" Eddie began, but a customer was ready to be rung up at the counter.
The rest of the day was busy, and your shift ended before Eddie's did today. So you quickly said goodbye and waited to talk to him the next day.
Eddie needed to make things right between you. What you had once was so good, and now it seems to be even better than before. Eddie was becoming infatuated with you. He got excited to go to work when you were on schedule. He loved making you laugh; seeing that beautiful smile across your face was his favourite pastime. He could have had that all these years, but it was all ruined for some hot piece of ass Eddie got for a few weeks in their senior year.
Eddie had met Veronica in his grade twelve English class. She was way out of his league, so when she agreed to go out with him, he was only thinking with his dick.
He was thinking about her and how she would be on his knees for him when he kissed you for funsies. He was not thinking about how it would have affected you. He was a selfish teenage boy being controlled by his hormones. Because of that, Eddie was now facing the consequences of his actions all because he wanted to get his dick wet in the twelfth grade.
“Hey Pip, can I talk to you for a sec?” Eddie greeted you when he walked in for his shift mid-afternoon.
“Sure what’s up?” Things were a little rocky since yesterday and you didn’t know where you stood.
God what was this so hard? Why did you make him nervous?
“I uh. I was hoping we could hang out… you know. Outside of work. If you wanted. I wanted to make up for being an ass.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.
"Okay." you smiled.
"Awesome! We are both off on Friday… I made sure.” Eddie said with a goofy smile. God, you were so falling for him again.
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You and Eddie have been spending time together outside work every chance you have had for the past six months. He invited you to see your old high school crowd the first few times, and then it slowly became more one-on-ones. Unfortunately for you, your ever-growing crush on Eddie had come back and was stronger than ever.
You hated yourself for falling for him again, but you couldn't help yourself. He was just so charming, boisterous, funny, and not to mention the most attractive man you've seen. Eddie was a natural flirt; he always was throwing compliments your way. He always knew how to make you blush.
That evening during closing, Eddie offered you to come over to The Shire. a.k.a his trailer. After a long, tiring day, both of you wanted some relaxation. He suggested staying in and having a cozy evening with pizza, beers, and perhaps a little weed to escape the cold November weather.
As the night progressed, it began to snow, and a snowstorm was predicted for later in the evening.
"Do you want your usual order, Pip?" Eddie turned his head to glance at you. You were standing near the front door, taking off your hat, scarf, and jacket. As he was watching you, he got lost in your graceful movements. Suddenly, he realized he was staring at you and almost bumped into his fridge.
"Yeah," you shiver. You almost thought about putting your coat back on, but that would be silly. "Can I borrow a sweater or a blanket?" You asked sweetly.
"Of course, sweetheart." Eddie didn't miss the way your nipples perked out of your low-cut t-shirt when you wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to warm up, but it only emphasized your breasts.
"Where is Wayne tonight?" You asked.
"He has an overnight shift tonight; he probably just left not too long ago." He said as he disappeared into his bedroom to find you a clean hoodie.
"I'm sorry, I missed him; I haven't seen that guy in years." You huffed. You loved Wayne; he was like a second dad.
"Yeah, he keeps talking you up like I don't already know how amazing you are." He threw the black hoodie at your head.
"Hey!"
I just gave you my sweater and a compliment, I think you should be thanking me."
"Shut up and order the pizza before the storm, Munson." You laugh as you pull the sweater over your head.
You and Eddie settled in, splitting a six-pack of cheap beer and delicious pizza. You wanted to watch a movie after dinner, so Eddie found a few stashed away that he still had yet to return to Family Video.
"How do you feel about horror?" He wiggled his eyebrows.
"You know I don't like scary movies, Eds." You whine.
"Well, hate to break it to you, sweetcheeks, but this is all we got, so it's either this... or cable that will most likely be down within the next half hour if the weather keeps up." You glanced out the window, and if you didn't leave now, you were not making it home tonight. The storm had started a lot earlier than anticipated.
"Oh shit, it's awful out. I didn't think it would be this bad so soon! I should go... shit, I've been drinking, we both have! We can't drive!" You started freaking out.
"Pip, you can always crash here. I don't mind." He offered.
"Are you sure?" You twiddled with the drawstrings of the hoodie.
"Of course! You think I would let you go out there?"
"Well... no."
"We can share my bed". He said nonchalantly.
Was he insane?! You can share a bed... with him... you'll want to do things with him. You can't take the rejection again.
"Umm."
"Well, I would sleep on the pull-out couch by Wayne sleeps there."
"It's okay... we are both adults," You swallowed. "Hey, do you have any more beer?" You needed a drink. Desperately.
"Oh, so we are having one of those nights? Edie wiggled his brows at you, and you rolled your eyes in return.
"I need liquid courage for these movies you're going to put me through," You fibbed.
"Don't worry, Pip. I'll protect you."
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Two movies and many screams later, you called it. You were maxed out on the spooky stuff. Halloween was long gone, and you were supposed to be in Christmas mode.
"You can get ready for bed first. I'll follow after. Eddie offered.
You slipped into Edie's hoodie and got under the covers, realizing the sweater was long enough to be worn as a nightgown. Eddie would be none the wiser that you had forgone pants.
You called for Eddie to enter, and he got ready for bed. You tried to pretend to occupy yourself as you watched Eddie get undressed and ready for bed. He pulled his plaid pyjama pants over his boxers and forgone a shirt.
There was tension in the air, but neither of you said anything. You held your breath as Eddie turned off the bedroom light and felt the bed dip as he got in.
"Pip?" Eddie broke the silence moments later.
"Yeah?"
"Can I ask you something?'
"Sure."
"Did you ever date anyone when you went away?"
"No"
"No?"
"Well...I went on one date, and he was shorter than me..." You laughed at how ridiculous it was. You didn't even like him, but you felt bad because you agreed to give him your number when you were out dancing one night, and you'd consumed a little too much alcohol.
"How is that even possible?"
"Well, you see, Edward everyone has different heights an-"
"No, you doofus," he laughed. "how is it possible you never dated anyone? You're beautiful." He says like it’s obvious.
Eddie made you feel fluttery when he called you beautiful.
“What?”
“You’re beautiful, Pip," Eddie repeated. "You’re a total catch; how are you still single?”
“Guess I never met the right guy…”
“Oh... " It was quiet for a moment then Eddie spoke again. "I know you always said you uh- wanted to you know…. Wait for the right guy and all… so have you slept with anyone since you were gone?”
“Eddie!” you cry, covering your face with your hands. You’re so mortified by this conversation.
“I’m sorry! Can’t blame a guy for his morbid curiosity.” you could hear the smirk in his voice.
“I can’t believe you remembered that. I mentioned it once six years ago.”
“I remember every thing when it comes to you.”
You felt his fingers intertwine with yours.
“Eddie…” you whisper.
“Yea”
"Ask me again."
"Are you still a virgin?"
You let out a deep sigh before you answered. “I’ve given it a lot of thought. And I want you to be my first.” you blurt out at a mile a minute.
“Pippin-”
“Just don’t go off with another girl next week or else I’m going to have to quit” you chuckle uncomfortably.
“Are you sure? Because if we start this I’m never going to want to let you go… not ever again.” He rolled over to face you.
“I’m so sure, Eddie, you’re the only one I’ve ever wanted.” You rolled to face him.
You didn’t know where this bravery was coming from. Maybe it was the combination of alcohol and being in the dark, but something sparked inside of you that you couldn’t put out.
“Can I kiss you?”
“Please”
You both moved in tandem as your lips collided. Years, months, weeks, days, hours, and minutes that all lead you to this moment, this perfect moment. Eddie and you always belonged together.
“I missed you so much,” Eddie spoke into your mouth as he shifted to hover over you.
“I missed you too. I missed you so much.” You grabbed for him, to touch and feel him. Your hands gripped his hair at the back of his head.
“Baby,” Eddie sat up and slinked his hands under his sweatshirt up your bare middle.
Baby. Goosebumps spread across your body from his touch. His calloused fingers lightly scratched your soft skin, and his hands travelled further up until his fingertips grazed your breasts.
“Can I take this off?”
“Yes,” The temperature in the room suddenly increased, making you feel extremely hot. The hoodie you were wearing became suffocating.
“Sit up for me, baby. Arms up.” You obliged and felt nervous that you were basically naked in front of Eddie. You pull your arms out of the sweater and cover yourself immediately.
“No, baby, please, don’t hide from me.” He gently peels your arms away from your body. “Beautiful,” He whispers with eyes full of lust.
You reached out to cup his face so you could kiss him again. You needed to distract yourself from the fact that you were naked in front of someone for the first time. Your kisses felt rushed and needy like you would die without them.
"Slow down, Pip, we have all the time in the world." Eddie coxed you back down into the plush pillows of his bed. "I'm going to take good care of you. okay?"
You nod your head yes to let him know you understand. The room was dark, but the street light peaked through the blinds. You could hear your heartbeat along with the howl of the wind from the snowstorm. You looked over to the clock. It read 12:18am. Wayne won't be home until early morning, at least 6:00am, especially in a storm like this.
Eddie leaned forward to kiss you again, travelling his lips down your body with each peck. His mouth found your neck, and he sucked on it, making your hips jerk up into him. You could feel his erection against your leg, which only excited you more.
He made his way lower once satisfied with the marking he left on your skin. He nipped and licked and peppered your sensitive chest before latching his mouth around a perked nipple. How Eddie fantasized about this very moment for months. To him, your boobs were perfect. The way your soft skin felt under his tongue, it was like they were made for him.
You let out a squeak, embarrassed by the noises you held back. You didn't know if this was normal? To want to make sounds while Eddie's mouth discovered your body.
"Don't be shy, baby. You can let it go. Get loud. I want to hear you."
"Are you sure, Eddie? Is that like... normal?"
"Oh god, yes, it's like music to my ears... Would it make you feel better if I shared with you what I like?"
"Yes."
"Okay, well." He clasped your hand, intertwining your fingers as he rested his chin on your upper stomach. "I like it when the person I'm with makes noises; it lets me know I'm doing well. I like it when the person I'm with takes compliments and praises. I like it when the person I'm with calls me certain names, but we will save that for another time. And I like it when I get to be in charge... like right now."
"What kind of names?" You bite your lower lip.
"Ah ah, naughty girl. You'll find out eventually. But not tonight." Eddie promised.
"Eventually?" your heart perked up with hope.
"You think this is going to be a one-and-done? You're sadly mistaken, Pip." He shifted his weight and started back up, loving your body. Worshiping it with a thousand kisses. Lower, lower, lower until he reached the hem of your plain black panties.
“Has anyone ever touched you here?” His hand cupped your panty-covered cunt.
“No.” you shiver.
“I’m honoured to be your first” He slowly started to guide and move his hand over your clothed pussy, massaging it. Exploring what makes your body jerk and tick. You let out a gasp as his soft touch grazed over your already swollen clit.
"That's my girl." he cooed as his hand travelled up and under the hemline of your underwear.
His hand slid down your soft, manicured mound before finding your slit. He let one singular finger travel down your clit to collect the wetness that had pooled and dragged it back up to play with you some more.
"Oh my god," You yelped as the unfamiliar but wonderful feeling of Eddie's hands explored your body.
"You're so wet, sweetheart. This all for me?" He raised his hand to examine the clear, wet, slippery substance that coated his fingers. He then stuck his fingers in his mouth before his eyes rolled back into his head. He moaned at the taste of you.
You were curious if you should be turned on or grossed out by Eddie's behaviour. "You taste like heaven." He praised you, and your body ultimately decided for you. You were turned on.
"Please touch me," You barely whisper. You bravely started to take off your panties when Eddie's hands stopped you.
"That's my favourite part." His hands replaced yours, and he watched intently as he stripped you down into nothing.
You were now fully naked in front of Eddie. You were a bit nervous, but not overly concerned. You trusted Eddie because you've gotten to know each other better over the past six months.
"My god, you're beautiful," He praised once again. You don't think you will ever get tired of him saying that. Your heart soared each time without fail.
"So are you," You whispered back and swore you saw Eddie blush.
Eddie's hands found your needy pussy once more. He wiggled his way down the bed, and he played with your clit until his face was level with your cunt. You felt so exposed you wanted to close your legs right away. But you also wanted to know what it felt like to have Eddie's mouth on your most intimate area.
"Show me how you play with yourself."
This shocked you, and your body froze. How could he ask you to do such a crass thing? Eddie sure was pushing a lot of your boundaries tonight.
"Come on, sweetheart. It's okay, perfectly natural."
You didn't want to disappoint him, so with a trembling hand, you started to circle your clit like always. The feeling started as a mild ache in your lower stomach, but it began to rise as you continued. Your worries and apprehensions slowly drifted away as the feeling of pleasure wafted through your body.
"You never push your fingers inside?" Eddie was mesmerized by the sight in front of him.
You shake your head no. "Doesn't feel right." You were too afraid to finger yourself in the past, not wanting to push the limits; you knew how to please yourself from clit stimulation alone.
"I'm about to change that." Eddie replaced your hand with his mouth, and you cried out in pleasure. This new feeling of something hot and wet consuming your pussy made your eyes involuntarily roll back into your head.
"Yes, good girl, let me hear you." He latched his mouth back onto your clit. His tongue circled and flicked your swollen bud until you were on the edge. You were so close, then his finger slowly entered you, and that took on a whole new feeling. His fingers were longer and wider than your own. He stretched and reached further than you have ever experienced.
"Holy shit!" You cried as his fingers pushed deep inside you. Eddie was careful to go slowly. His middle finger pumped in and out of you before he added another. As his finger worked inside of you, you felt a wave of pleasure from a spot you hadn't ever felt before. It made you cry out embarrassingly loud.
"Ohhhh, good job babygirl." He chuckled smugly. Eddie knew that he had found your one spot that would make you see stars. So, he continuously grazed over it again and again.
You didn't know what was happening to you; your body was undulating under Eddie's touch. He struggled to keep your hips pinned down as he continued to devour your pussy. You couldn't think; you couldn't form words. Your brain had gone into a cloudy haze that focused only on your body and how Eddie was making you feel.
No wonder everyone raved about sex.
"Eddie, Eddie, Eddie" You didn't even know you were talking.
“That’s it, baby, say my name.”
"Eddie!" Your body clenched, and every muscle in your contract as your orgasm ripped through you. Waves of pleasure pulsed as Eddie's mouth and fingers continued to massage your pussy.
"Mmmm, that's my girl. You did so good for me." Eddie praised, and your stomach did another flip-flop at his words.
"You think you want to keep going? Or do you want to stop? You don't need to worry about me. This is all about you, Pip. Okay?"
"I want to keep going." Your voice sounded breathy, like it wasn't coming from you.
"You're sure?"
"Yes, Eddie, I want you to fuck me. Please," you squirmed.
"God, I love hearing those words from your mouth." Eddie bent down to kiss you once again.
.As he kissed you, his mouth had a tangy and slightly salty taste. He explored your mouth with his tongue, just as he had moments before with your lower lips.
"I'm going to go get a condom, okay?" He whispered again to you.
"Okay," you bit your lip with anticipation.
You watched as Eddie shuffled on his knees off the bed to his nightstand and grabbed a blue cardboard box out of his stuffed drawer. He pulled out the foil packet and pulled down his pants and boxers. Your eyes bludged at the sight of Eddie's cock. Sure, you knew what a penis looked like. However, this was your first time seeing one in real life.
"No need to be scared, Pip." Eddie gave a reassuring smile.
"Okay, Eddie," You whispered.
"You can touch me if you want?" He walked over to the bed, cock at full mast. You slowly nod your head and reach out to feel it. Obviously, it felt hard, but you were surprised by the soft skin that felt like velvet.
Eddie made a whimpering sound as your delicate fingers grazed the red tip. You jerked back your hand, afraid you'd hurt him.
"No, no, Pip," Eddie stutterd. "You're okay; it just felt really good s'all."
"Oh," you blushed. Amazed at yourself that you made him feel really good.
"Shit, okay, I'm going to put the condom on now, okay?"
"Okay," you repeated like a parrot.
"Can you lay back for me?" Eddie crawled back up on the bed and over you once more.
You popped back down, and Eddie giggled at your eagerness. He wanted to make this perfect for you, but in your mind he already had. He wanted it to be the least painful he could make it. Hopefully, your orgasm will have helped with that.
"This may hurt a little, but I'm going to go slow, and if you need me to stop or pull out, you tell me, okay?" Eddie's face had never been so serious.
You nod your head.
"No, Pip. I need your words. I need you to tell me you understand. It's important."
Oh.
"I'll let you know if I need to stop. I promise."
"Good girl."
You sucked in a breath and bit your lip at his words. Eddie took a mental note about your reaction. He would tuck it away and save it for later.
"You're already wet enough, I think. I'm going to try and put it in now okay?" Eddie kissed you tenderly and you replied.
The feeling was odd. You felt like you were being split open as your walls burned from being stretched the furthest they have ever been.
"Oh god," Your face scratched as Eddie went in deeper.
"You okay? I can stop"
"No, I can do this. Just stay there a minute." Your body needed time to adjust.
"It's okay," Eddie cooed. He peppered your cheeks with small kisses as he waited for further instructions.
"Okay, I think I'm okay." Your vagina was still tight, but it wasn't as bad as a few minutes ago.
Eddie made sure to be as gentle as possible. Even though it was killing him to not just ram into you repeatedly. Your soft, warm walls were squeezing him so good, too good.
Eventually, after what felt like an hour, Eddie finally reached the hilt. You never felt so full. The feeling was strange yet exciting.
"I'm going to move now, okay?"
He was so patient and kind; you never imagined your first time to be so guided and full of communication. You thought it would just be like boom, stick it in and start. But, no. Not with Eddie.
As Eddie started to rock his hips, the burning started to ease into pleasure. Your hips started moving and rocking with Eddie's body, and you worked together to feel pleasure. Your instincts took over as your thoughts started to numb.
"That's it, baby, fuck, you're making me feel so good." Eddie praised.
"Mmmmm," Was all you managed to get out.
Eddie took that as a sign he could go faster. Thank god he did because the moans that came from you were sinful.
"Yes, baby, be as loud as you want," Eddie commanded before latching his mouth back on the sweet spot he found earlier.
A high-pitched ""Uhhhhhnhhhh" left your mouth as you became more and more cockdrunk by the second. His thick long cock was grazing your walls, finding your g spot that he had reached earlier in the night. Making you yell out his name.
"That's it, baby girl; tell me, who owns this pussy?" Eddie gritted through his teeth, and his pulsing cock pounded into you.
"W-what?"
"Sorry, shit, sorry I got carried away." Eddie kept his rhythm as he forgot that this was your first sexual experience. He couldn't wait to teach you about all his little desires. "you're doing so good for me."
"o-okay"
Your nails lightly scratch up Eddie's back, making him shiver. You then run back down and grab onto his ass. You hugged him like a koala bear, refusing to have this feeling he was giving you to go away. You were so blissed out by it all.
"God baby, I don't think I can hold out much longer," Eddie puffed. His hips never break the rhythm he set.
"Please," you didn't know what you were begging for? You just need him.
"I got you, baby girl; you're being so good for me" Eddie felt your pussy clench down at his words of praise.
"Come on, baby; I know you can give me one more," His hand slipped between you two and found your clit once again. You were so overstimulated that with just a few mild touches, you were falling apart, beneath Eddie.
"Oh fuck, you're squeezing me so good" Eddie tried to hold off, to keep going, to keep fucking you, but he couldn't. Your pussy was so tight around his cock he emptied himself into the condom that was buried inside of you.
Your head felt like it was spinning; your body was limp and racing with those feel-good hormones.
"I'll be right back." He kissed your cheek before getting up off of you after he caught his breath, got rid of the condom and cleaned himself up before returning with a wet cloth for you. But when he returned to the bedroom, you were fast asleep.
He laid the damp cloth on the back of his desk chair and brought the covers back up over the both of you before pulling you into his chest to cuddle you until he fell asleep.
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The next morning the snow had finally stopped, and the bright sunlight had peaked its way through the slits of the cheap blinds that hung in the window.
Eddie heard footsteps outside the bedroom door in his hazy, half-asleep state. He peeked in an eye to see you sprawled out comfortably in his bed. He lifted covers to see your still naked body that he didn't really get to see last night due to the pitch black. He could see the marks he had made more clearly as they had gotten darker within the night.
He couldn't help himself. Here you were naked, sleeping with him in his bed; he just had to touch you. He kissed up the side of your exposed neck, marking the other side that had been left untouched. You moaned and squirmed, then giggled when Eddie's hair tickled you.
The reality of where you were hit the second you awoke.
"Oh, Eddie," You softly moaned.
"Good morning, baby," Eddie rolled on top of you, his morning wood more hormonal than ever.
" 'Morning," you smiled, tucking a piece of hair behind his ear before Eddie nuzzled his head behind the small of your neck.
"So I was hopin' that you'd want to go out with me, officially... or whatever?" He cleared his throat. His morning voice was so sexy.
"Or whatever?" you smiled back up at him.
"Or wha-"
"Hey, Ed's, I'm finally back-Holy hell!-" Suddenly, Uncle Wayne was walking into the bedroom, and you were screaming, trying to cover yourself, and Eddie was trying to cover as much of you as he could.
Wayne was mortified as he shut the door behind him as quickly as possible.
"Put a sock on the door next time you have company, Kid!" Wayne shouted, flustered as ever.
Eddie barked out a laugh, and you couldn't be more embarrassed.
"Oh my god, I can't go out there? Do you think I can fit through the window?" You asked Eddie before covering your face with your hands.
"Come on, Pip. I'm sure he didn't see anything; probably only saw my pasty ass." He got up and pulled you along with him.
He found your folded clothes on the chair where you had left them, but when you went to put on your underwear, they were nowhere to be found.
You got dressed without them, and Eddie pulled you out of his room hand in hand to Face Wayne.
"So I guess it was your car all covered in snow." Wayne shifted uncomfortably in his chair as he sat at the kitchen table with a cup of black coffee. "There uh- coffee for the both of ya's if you want." He offered.
"Thanks." You tugged at your sleeve, not knowing what to do. Should you leave? Should you stay? Can you leave? The show was up to your knees.
"Better make yourself comfortable; the plows will take a while to get to this side of town." Wayne made the decision for you. Eddie guided you to the kitchen table and pulled out a seat for you.
"Wayne, you remember Pippin, don't you?" Eddie smiled brightly as he got you two mugs.
"Of course I do." He smiled genuinely this time. The awkwardness was lifting.
Eddie didn't need to ask how you took your coffee. He remembered two creams and two sugar. He once said it was too sweet, just like you.
"Thanks," you smile up at him as he places your coffee before you.
"I was wondering when the two of you would finally get together... Ever since high school, I've been bugging this one," He motions to Eddie, " To get his head out of his ass and to lock you down already."
"Took him long enough, you giggle"
"Now I know you two are adults, but I don't need no little munson babies running around here just yet, so you better be safe-"
"Okay, okay, Old man, we get it. We have already had this uncomfortable talk once when I was fifteen. I don't need it again."
"Fifteen?!" your eyes blog you're off your head.
"What can I say? The ladies love them some, Eddie." he smiled cockily.
You lightly pinch Eddie's arm, so he shuts up.
"Hey!" Eddie rubbed his bicep.
I knew I always liked you." Wayne tipped up his mug to you with a smile. "keep him in line."
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geopsych · 3 months
Note
re: the tumblr ai stuff, please don’t wipe your blog!! your blog has been so important to me and many others as a place of authentic light and beauty and i would hate to lose it forever 💕
there is a way to download the contents of a tumblr blog (it’s in settings, i don’t remember rn, but i’ll find it if you need it) maybe you could upload to another site or a personal site?
i know this is very serious, and i hate how we are unwillingly contributing to synthetic art, but the world would be poorer for me without your pictures <3
Thank you. Your words mean a lot to me.
This is a dilemma for me. I have loved doing this blog and going out to look for pictures and interesting things to bring here has given me motivation and meaning through years of struggle with depression and several kinds of grief. Going out to look for pictures has put me in situations where I have seen incredible beauty, much of which I never really managed to capture. Also, the many warm and kind messages I've received from people all over the world have given me heart and made me feel less meaningless as a person and more connected. Sometimes I've been criticized for buying the checkmarks and giving money to Tumblr but I wanted to do what I could because Tumblr has been my one happy and safe place online. But now this. To me AI in relation to creativity is just a way for well-to-do but untalented people, the proverbial tech bros, to profit from other people's hard work and creativity. It has no redeeming value in relation to creativity and is actively harmful to artists of all kinds. <trying to figure out how to put a read more link here> I don't even count myself among the real creatives, artists and writers and others who have worked hard and put years into honing their crafts, into learning to translate their hearts and unique spirits into their creative expression. I just see beautiful things and take pictures of them. But it would still make me sick to see AI works based on my pictures, on these times and places that have meant so much to me. Recently I saw a set of cat 'photos' on here that everyone was reblogging and exclaiming over but that to me seemed to just be AI art that was more convincing than most. As time goes on more and more output of AI is going to be almost indistinguishable from real works and unscrupulous people will pass them off as real, getting credit for what was actually created by others. Whether they profit from them becomes almost irrelevant at that point because what's worse is that we will have less and less sense of what is real. And as some have pointed out AI will now also be scraping from AI, muddying the waters further from here on in. This is an apocalypse of sorts, an apocalypse of creativity, ultimately likely to kill the joy of artistic endeavor for many who would otherwise produced brilliant, beautiful, funny, and/or shockingly original things. I'm still parsing and dissecting my thoughts and feelings about what Tumblr has done and how to react. Staying and leaving my blog up feels like consent. I am not confident in the integrity of anyone connected with scraping sites for AI. I'm not convinced that a little toggle in settings is going to make much of a difference in the long run. On the other hand I like posting here and I have received enough messages over the years to know that my blog is a positive influence on some lives. I was looking forward to May and June and posting pictures of the incredible beauty of eastern Pennsylvania in those months. And I was planning on making a side blog for posting some poetry I've been working on. It will break my heart to leave.
I haven't decided yet. Believe it or not this whole thing has given me awful physical symptoms. I'll let you know when I decide. Thank you again for your kind and lovely note!
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Text
We connected on a kink site but after writing with me you realized I'm quite inexperienced and don't really know what I'm doing.
You are a gentleman and of course ask me about my likes and limits etc. making me feel safe while secretly already planning how to break me. I tell you that I don't really like anal and only tried a little princess plug once and it was too uncomfortable but that I really wanna try bondage.
We decide to meet up at a bar and I'm incredibly nervous but you charm me and make me feel calm. You buy me one drink after the other and subtly encourage me to drink more. When I'm getting more than a little tipsy you show me some bondage poses we could try and I immediately get excited so I chose one and we get ready to go to your place.
Once there you talk me through everything assuring me we can always stop if it's getting too much lying through your teeth. You purposely choose poses where my ass would be easily accessible to you. You tie my hands to the bedframe and secured my legs up there too so I'm completely exposed and start to play with my pussy making me wimper and moan a little. I'm starting to really enjoy myself and you savor it and get faster playing with my clit asking me what I want. "Pls fuck me" I shyly exclaim but you are not satisfied slapping my cunt "louder I couldn't hear you" "I want you to fuck me pretty please" getting embarrassed about being such a slut that lets a man tie her up on the first date.
You get out your cock that was bigger than I'm used to playing with my entrance and I get a little scared again if it would hurt. You push your head into me laughing at the shocked expression I must have had. After slowly fucking your head into me for a little making me beg more you finally thrusts into me in one hard thrust making me yelp while fucking me meryless and hard after and slapping my face. I cry out completely overwhelmed and in pain. "Pls stop that's too rough" you only give me a sadistic grin "well it's not like you could do anything about it you naive fucking slut".
You start to tease my asshole and push one finger in without any lube just the little wetness dripping down. I start to cry realizing what I got myself into. "Oh fuck you look so hot when you cry and I haven't even really started" you pull your cock out and lining yourself up with my ass. I'm trying to struggle and get away but there is no use. You push the head in even if it requires lots of pressure to break my little hole in.
"I love it when whores like you are in pain and I can finally make them useful" I'm sobbing now from the sharp pain going through my body and you slap me even more. You have trouble fitting more in since I'm so tense so you slap me a little more before choking me out using the opportunity to get all the way in and fucking me awake using me like cock sleeve and ignoring my please to stop.
"you fucking wanted that I have you an video begging me to fuck you and now I'm doing just that the way you deserve" sheer panic builds up in me as you point to a semi hidden camera. You pull out a strong vibrator pushing it at my clit on the 3rd setting while still destroying my ass. "If you cum I will pull out I promise" you say mocking me but all the new sensations and stuff are just too much and I can only struggle. This is going on for another hour getting slapped, pinched and hurt by you but then I feel something built up inside. Against my will an orgasm is building up and I explode squirting over you.
"See I knew you were a disgusting slut that needed to be treated like that" while pulling out my ass and pumping a load into my unprotected cunt plugging it up after and forcing me to clean you cock.
"Well i hope you are ready for the next round later! then I can actually try some suggestions from chat." while getting a laptop and showing me the life stream and comments.
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bonny-kookoo · 9 months
Note
Hi Bonny! I adore your writing so much! 🫶🏻 I wonder how ILY Jungkook got into buying toys for YN for sexy time. Was there a discussion prior? Can you write something on it especially how he used the remote control vibrator with her? Were they at home or outside? Or just chilling? Thank you! 🙈
A/N: My all-time favorite horny-couple, thanks for requesting something for them haha
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Jungkook is like a Pokémon. He's evolving with every day, gaining experience and leveling up with every single hour he's alive- becoming more and more powerful, while staying oddly cute at the same time. If you had to compare him to one, you'd probably choose something like Dragonite, with his big round eyes and powerful body.
Maybe he'd even be the shiny version. Rare and special.
But right now, he's just so- uniquely Jungkook again, as he unboxes the white box with the distinctive writing on the front, fingers trying to find the tape holding everything shut, a pout on his lips. His glasses are sliding down a bit, hair pulled back with one of your hairties, and he's just.. almost innocent looking, sitting there at the kitchen table.
Innocent- if he wasn't unboxing a fucking sex-toy he'd bought for you online.
"Ah, there." He finally finds the tape, ripping it off before he opens the box, the toy safely tucked away in a velvet little bag he unties, to take out the hot pink object for him to inspect. "Oh, that feels nice.." He hums, fingers feeling the smooth surface while you're completely in awe, watching him just.. act as if this is the most normal thing in the world. "You mentioned it, I think, and it was on discount online-" He explains, taking out the instructions before he unlocks his phone to install the app connected to the toy.
That's the thing with Jungkook you still have to learn. Once you mention something to him- something you'd like to do, or something you want, he will almost always try to either buy that thing, do what you'd mentioned with him, or find something close to it instead, if what you wish for isn't in reach for him.
"Jungkook- those are expensive-" You say, sitting down on the kitchen table close to him, while he sets up the device, getting a bit startled when it buzzes to life for a second.
"Oh, it needs to charge first." He says, taking out the charger, that distinctive pout present yet again as he tries to understand the magnetic charging port. "We can try it out some other time when you like. The reviews were good and it wasn't as expensive as they usually are either-" He hums, as you move to sit on his lap, his arms almost instinctively wrapping around you to keep you in place.
"You always listen to me so well, Jungkookie.." You hum into his chest, leaning your head on his shoulder. "You don't have to do stuff like this to make me happy- you know that right?" You ask, and he nods, a hand on your back while the other makes sure to properly connect the charger, red LED glowing to indicate it's status.
"I know." He shrugs. "Take this as.. something for us both." He jokes, before you adjust your legs a little, accidentally sitting right on his crotch in a way that's clearly not comfortable. "Aw fuck!" He laughs, and you can't help but laugh as well.
"God Jungkook, your dick always get's in between our fluffy moments!" You complain, and he rolls his eyes, hands under your thighs adjusting you once more so you don't hurt him. "How did touching a toy make you half-hard again?" You argue, and he instantly gets defensive, scoffing at you.
"I'm not even remotely hard, what are you talking about!" He denies, and you squint your eyes at him suspiciously. "Honestly!" He says, and you lean back at that, arms crossed, shamelessly looking between his legs. You tend to forget that he's pretty.. impressive, even when he isn't hard at all. He's not just a grower, after all.
"Why not?" You suddenly say, and he's taken aback by it for a second. "After all, your princess-perfect-hot-as-fuck-girlfriend is literally on your lap right now." You accuse him, used to playing around like this-
but instead of being shy, your Pokémon-boyfriend must've evolved yet again when you weren't looking. Because he instead helps you sit on the table right in front of him, his hands tugging down your shorts and underwear, not even bothering to tug them off your ankles as he leans forwards, tongue wetting his lips.
"Well right now, she's sitting on the table." He corrects you, and you're still too stunned to speak as he spreads your legs, before he tucks your shirt underneath your bra to keep it out of the way. "Looking like a full-course meal.." he hums, before he pushes his chair back a bit to have better leverage, slowly leaning forwards, after he puts his glasses down next to you on the kitchen table.
"..and I'm feeling really hungry right now."
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lace-coffin · 5 months
Text
Slasher autism headcanons
Requests are open!
is this just me projecting onto other slashers? Absolutely! It’s like the spider man pointing at eachother meme but it’s just me and slashers both having autism 😌
Tw: slight mentions of meltdowns and self injuring stims
Billy Lenz
*slaps him like the hood of a car* “do you know how much autism you can fit in here?”
Billy struggles with loud noises especially repetitive ones. He often holds the phone far away from his ear when calling the sorority because he can’t stand the call tone. please get him some headphones or ear defenders
Despite this he enjoys making a lot of noise through vocal stimming/echolalia, picking up on words or phrases he hears from you or the others at the sorority. He usually has a record playing to keep him from getting under-stimulated, though this can be a delicate balance because sometimes it helps and sometimes it’s too much and annoys him.
Billy is hyper verbal (this may be more of an adhd thing I’m unsure) he has so many thoughts he needs to voice to the point where it feels like he’s going to explode if he doesn’t get them out audibly. He does struggle knowing when it’s his turn to talk though so he may accidentally talk over you.
Billy tends to get along with animals better, connecting to them just feels easier and more natural. He loves to hang out with Claude and rub his face against his fur.
Billy often throws and breaks things during meltdowns, doing it in the heat of the moment and regretting it later if it was something he cared about. Please reassure him it’s not his fault and help him clean it up/ fix it when he feels ready to be around people again.
May not be purely and autism thing but affection bites for sure
Bubba sawyer
Bubba stims in a lot of ways. Flapping his hands in excitement and doing little dances. I think She would play with the charms on her bracelet she took from Pam when they don’t feel safe to openly stim, say he’s in public somewhere he’s not familiar with or dealing with victims.
They have a habit of hitting their head with their fists during meltdowns and pacing (as seen in the og movie when she’s upset about the victims breaking in when no one’s home)
Bubba is also hyper empathetic, other peoples emotions have a big effect on them, sometimes making it hard to settle when their family is distraught.
Non verbal- speaking feels unnatural and straining for her, her family have never pushed him to talk since it’s clear it’s uncomfortable so she’s happy to communicate via noises and body language. Communication cards may be helpful for when more complex answers are needed.
Loud noises aren’t really a problem for her since he’s running around with a loud ass chainsaw all day but it can become grating after a long day if they’re overstimulated already, they’ll push through it and get the task done but he’ll need some time alone in his room to recuperate after.
Doesn’t leave the house super often, they’re much comfier to be home around people they know. She does occasionally go shopping with Drayton and their siblings but it’s very taxing on her because of all the stimuli so it’s not super often.
Michael Myers
I think he’d have a very specific pallet, not liking inconsistencies in its foods and preferring to stick to the stuff it knows it likes. he has such a sweet tooth and eats a bunch of candy. It likes the texture differences in different kinds of sweets, jelly is a particularly good one. Mikey eats a lot of grilled cheese to, it’s mum used to make it for him a lot as a kid and it’s a staple safe food for him. He likes his food bland and beige (me to mikey)
Very specific about his clothing, labels are an absolute no go and need to be cut out. He only likes to wear one brand of coveralls because they’re the only ones it feels sits right without making him want to crawl out of his skin. So basically its wardrobe is just a bunch of the same brand coveralls. (Like SpongeBob with his identical wardrobe lol)
Non verbal through choice, mikey can talk but finds it uncomfortable to do so it usually doesn’t. If he really needs to get something across that he can’t then it’ll use sign.
Low empathy, Michael feels empathy for people close to him like his mother or you but not for others. He doesn’t really understand why he should care about people unimportant to him.
It’s part of Michael’s routine for you to go to bed together at the same time, it gets gradually more antsy the longer you stay up over bedtime. Eventually if he deems what you’re doing not worthy of staying up for he’ll just pull you away from it and carry you to bed. It also sleeps in a specific position, he has the whole bed to sleep in but prefers to curl up in the same way he did back at smiths grove, apart from there he didn’t have a choice. If you’re asleep and splayed out Michael would rather sleep on the sofa so he can be in its comfy position. He also probably won’t touch you if your wearing pyjamas with a bad texture, brushed cotton is a no and he won’t be cuddling you unless you’re in a safe textured set.
Doesn’t like eye contact much, he feels more comfortable in looking at peoples face if it’s wearing a mask, it’s less intimate and awkward.
Brahms Heelshire
Brahms can go from very clingy to not wanting to be touched very quickly. He adores being attached to you anyway he can, like cuddling you from behind when cooking or wrapping himself around you in bed. Despite this Brahms can get overwhelmed with touch sometimes, the feeling of ‘to much’ buzzing under his skin. If this is the case then he’ll likely need time to himself back in the walls.
Brahms likes everything to be on schedule and to follow the rules. Like we see in the movies he gets upset when his rules are ignored since it throws of his routine and schedule. If you need to do anything extra or take something off the schedule please let him know in advance so he has time to process it.
Low empathy but only for people not super close to him. He understands how he’s expected to react socially to peoples problems/pain and can show it through masking but it’s purely because he thinks it’s what he has to do.
The walls are a safe space for him. His room was the place he felt calmest after what happened with his parents, its decorated to his taste and dimly lit as not to hurt his eyes. His room has everything he needs within close distance so if he’s feeling low on spoons then the fridge is only a few steps away. Plenty of blankets for pressure/burying himself into.
Also we can’t ignore the fact he literally masks with his porcelain doll mask lol
I think Brahms would use to much eye contact as opposed to none, he was taught it was polite in his lessons as a boy and took it slightly to literally. He loves to stare at you affectionately < 3
Asa emory
Special interest in bugs and entomology! I headcanon that he mostly became a professor so he can info dump about his special interests all day to his hearts content. He can get frustrated quickly if he feels he’s not being listened to.
(Ignoring the shitty enclosures in the collector bc I say so) I think proper husbandry would be important to him, he researches for days before he feels comfortable setting up a home for his specimens. If he’s feeling overwhelmed he likes to sit with his bug enclosures, watching over them and rocking himself.
Asa connects to his bugs more, finding them easier to understand , bugs tend to have more readable body language so it’s easier to tell when they want to be left alone without pressing to far. A person may say they’re not upset but are only hiding it to be polite. A tarantula will bare its fangs and let you know when it’s had enough.
Asa is very precise in his traps, planning them thoroughly before assembling, however he can get overwhelmed and upset say if a wire snaps repeatedly or the trap won’t work as it’s supposed to. He can feel himself boiling over and will abruptly stand from him chair, taking himself over to his bug collection to distract himself and hopefully avoid a meltdown.
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pro-mammonologist · 1 year
Text
Recently been thinking about what if you tell the Nightbringer boys about your connection to their future selves and stuff and specifically mammon who you tell that the two of you are together. Ofc he’d be overjoyed but he’d also be really shy and stuff because he’s never felt like this before and I just have this little thought of
Laying on your back, you glance over at mammon on the floor beside your bed. He keeps opening his mouth like he wants to say something but he can’t. You judge him with your knee.
“What is it?” You smile, easily guessing what’s on his mind, knowing your Mammon.
“I—uh—I just wanted to know if you—how—what’s it’s like… being with me?” He tripped over him words, vocal cadences resembling Levi’s.
“If I like being with you? Is that what you were gonna ask?” You shuffle a little bit, pulling his eyes to you. Before he could answer, you patted your chest. “Come here.”
“Like??? Lay with you?” You could see his face go red.
“Yeah, on my chest.” Smiling, you patted your chest again. “Please.”
He swallowed and moved to his feet before settling between your legs and laying himself against you, his back to your stomach. His head rested right on your chest, the smell of his hair wafting to your nostrils.
“In the future, we do this a lot.” Your voice is low and you stretch your arms to trace up the front of his body. “You usually plop right down on me and expect me to guess what you want. Can’t say I don’t find it cute.”
Mammon’s breathing began to slow and goosebumps started to form on his skin. He refrained from speaking, just letting you touch him.
“You like to hold me too, but I know your favorite thing is when I do this.” You slowly traced your fingers up to his scalp and began rubbing tenderly with your fingertips. “Usually I can get you to sleep doing this, and if you aren’t sleeping, you’re grinning like crazy and telling me how good it feels.”
Mammon’s eyes shut and he barely mumbled. “It does feel good.”
You felt your smile stretch wider and you pressed into the nape with your thumbs, making his lips part in a sigh. “You always want affection, but I do too, so it’s safe to say we’re perfect for each other. You can be so needy but it makes me feel good, knowing how much you like me. I always know that you care about me too, especially because you’re always buying me things, checking on me, and you freak out if I breathe too hard when I sleep.” You laughed a little bit. “When I’m not doing this, you’re latched around my waist with your head in my shoulder or rubbing my back, just grinning away at me.”
You could tell he was moving in and out of sleep now, feeling the way his heartbeat slowed and his eyes struggled to open at all. Mammon looked so peaceful.
“We always do what we can to make each other feel loved.” You brushed hair out of his face and slowly retracted your hands from his scalp, making sure he wasn’t awake anymore. You placed a kiss to the top of his head and decided to join him in his rest. Just embracing the way he trusts you, even now, hundreds of years before the two of you meet. No matter the where or when you are, you realize, you and Mammon will always find each other.
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sopiao · 6 months
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hey!! i love your writing so so much oh my god. your account is just perfect– if it's not too luch to ask (and forgive me if this is a little long) can i request headcanons with taskforce 141 + masc reader???
reader's kind of distant from the rest of the task force. they all get along with him just fine, does what he's asked to do on missions and all that, but he just feels kind of... absent. nobody really gets what his deal is, but they've gotten used to him. (BONUS POINTS IF HE ALSO WEARS A MADK HE DOESNT TAKE OFF THAT OFTEN... i wanna be cool too </3)
one day he wakes them up, and (to their surprise) tells them that he had a nightmare. this is the softest his voice has ever been and the most he's ever opened up– just. fluff and comfort lolz :p
FIRST TIME WITH FLUFF OR COMFORT!!!
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i’ve always had a hard time writing this kind of stuff but i’m cleaning out my inbox so.. ^^
SORRRYYY IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO GET TO THIS >3<
it sorta implies angst?? like the nightmare is something serious of an issue?? idk
(Callsign will be Anon to make it easier for me ☹️)
Anon has always been distant, keeping some space and never really contributing to any of the conversations x But they still treasure him just as much as each other. They understand that some people just have a hard time with stuff like that or just don’t wanna get into it in general.
Soap and Ghost always makes constant visual checks to see if he’s still part of the group, since he’s always quite as a mouse it’s hard to keep track of him. Price would make sure to save a seat for him whenever he’s a little late. And Gaz would always check up on you from time to time.
They make sure you felt part of the team. Just because Anon doesn’t really have a deep connection with any of them doesn’t make him any less one of them.
In the middle of a mission they all had to sleep in a safe house for the night. A rather small one since they had to share a room together. Sleeping bags all lined up across the room. One soldier found it hard to get at least a wink of sleep. Price’s and Soap’s loud and grumbling snoring didn’t really disturb them since it was practically white noise to him now.
After half an hour Anon finally found the ability to be carried into rest. It was peaceful for a while. Until he woke up violently, body twitched when he woke up from how intense it was. He found that it was hard to keep his breathing under control and try to focus on one thing. Physically and emotionally.
He put this off as a last resort and tried everything to calm himself down. But when all else failed he turned to Ghost beside him. Reaching for his mask and hastily pulling his mask over his head, hesitating before bringing his hand up to shake Ghost awake, he’s a light sleeper anyway.
“What? What happened?” After a second to comprehend what was happening he sat up and looked around, thinking something happened, like someone broke in or someone found them. But once he saw his comrade’s, somewhat, relaxed but worried eyes and stopped.
Sitting up fully and comfortably, he asked if everything was alright. Judging by his lack of response Ghost nodded, immediately understanding and not making a big deal out of it since this is way out of his comfort zone.
“Go on.” He nodded his head, sitting next to him and relaxing against the wall, still half asleep but still willing, very willing, to listen and comfort if needed. Ghost listened intently as Anon began to explain and mumble out what happened in his sleep.
“Uhm.. Fuck— Now that I’m thinking about this, it sounds stupid—” Looking down and fiddling with the edge of his sleeping bag Anon’s interrupted by Ghost.
“Just tell me. You’ve already got me up” He’s probably not the best one for comfort, but he knows he’s trying, not the best with his words, but he’s willing to listen.
It stuns him for a second with his bluntness, but chuckles lightly, knowing that he really does wanna listen. He starts to explain, second guessing himself every couple sentences, but slowly he gets more comfortable with sharing.
Halfway through Soap starts to stir and move in his sleep, making both stop and just stare. Turning around to see both sleeping bags empty, Soap immediately sits up and searches for them, only to see them off the side, sitting together.
“Oh.. shit..” He calms himself down, both Ghost and Anon look at each other before looking back at Soap. He slowly sits up and crawls over to where they are, next to Anon so he’s between Ghost and Soap.
“What’re you two doin’ up?” Somehow his accent is deeper when he’s half-awake. Slouching back against the wall, almost leaning on Anon’s shoulder.
“I couldn’t sleep after.. a.. uhhh… nightmare” Anon was hesitant to explain, wondering if waking up his friends were really worth it, hoping that they wouldn’t make fun of him. Soap just hums in response.
“Nightmare? Al’right. Continue” To Anon’s surprise, Soap wants in too. He looks back to Ghost who just shrugs and nods, silently telling you that it’s up to him whether he wants to share or not.
Before Anon can even start again, both Price and Gaz wake up, both confused as fuck, but following along, dragging their sleeping bags over to him. They were all now wide awake, Price laying back in his sleeping bag, arms crossed, half-awake but still lucid enough to understand stuff coherently.
Anon started to explain again, relaxed to see how supportive his teammates are with how little they really know about him. Once he got to a certain part of the nightmare, the part that really made it a nightmare, his lungs felt tight once again.
Suddenly his mask felt so thick and concrete, he had to lift it up to his nose to breathe. Blubbering out apologies between breathes as they tried not to stare too much.
“Nah, nah. You’re fine” Ghost reassured him through his mutters, rubbing his back to try and soothe him. It didn’t, but it was something. Something that they were there to listen.
“Don’t force yourself if you don’t wanna tell” Gaz nodded, not wanting to force Anon to go too much out of his comfort zone, in the chance that he changed his mind and wasn’t okay with sharing this kind of stuff.
“I’m fine.. fine” Anon nodded his head, realizing how much of his face he exposed and tried to cover it up with his hands so he can still breath. But for those couple seconds that his lower half of his face was open. A large, old, scar decorated his lips, diagonally going from the top right to bottom left, almost reaching his chin.
With something so unexpected being exposed, the fact that Anon even reached out, it made them all alert to watch out for his emotions and how he’s feeling. But what was most surprising for them, was how he talked. It was usually so stern and short, always getting straight to the point. Almost robot like. But now, it’s softer, more warm but sorta confused, he fumbled in his words a little but it was just so different than how he is out on the base.
An hour has passed, but now that all of that is out of Anon’s head, and everything, almost everything, was off his chest, the sleepiness started to catch up to him. In the midst of Ghost explaining how he was feeling and the possible reason for it, Anon was already asleep, snoring softly as he struggled to keep up.
They knew that this was something you’d never do. So it was a sort of shock for him to break his blocked off demeanor. But it made them feel good that Anon even considered venting. Even if it was something small like a complaint or something annoying, they wanted him ti let it out.
(this has been in my drafts for forever T-T)
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elizais · 4 months
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hii!! how about something like dazai's first meeting is with reader at oda's grave. it is ada dazai and reader knows oda since childhood. reader has an ability of being able to transport themselves + whoever in a 2m range to a moment in time for an hour as long as she is holding a photo of said moment. her ability is of a one time use.
you can choose however reader knows oda and i don't mind how angsty it is as long as reader and dazai are happy in the end!
thank you so much and don't feel a need to write this!!
"don't feel a need to write this"?? GIRL I LOVE THIS. i switched stuff around like lupin's locations and that but don't think too hard.
@cafekitsune for the divider!!
"photographic memories"
dazai x reader, angst/fluff, read anon's req 4 a summary!! mentions of alcohol, obvs spoilers. references to the day i picked up dazai but they aren't spoilers.
it was the day that marked another year since that day. usually, he would spend a few hours at odasaku's grave before heading to bar lupin. walking up to the old friend's grave, a woman around dazai's age was there too.
a bouquet of flowers was in her hands as she knelt before the headstone, carefully setting them down below the "S . ODA". dazai didn't say a word as he knelt next to her, she didn't say a word either. maybe not even noticing his arrival.
he placed a few flowers before the headstone too, earning a glance from the woman next to him. she doesn't seem to be too affected by him.
however, she mutters something so quietly only osamu could make out her words. "such a cheater.." she says with a tint of amusement in her voice. he knows exactly what she is referring to.
"i know, right." he responds, thinking of every time he lost to odasaku in a card game due to oda's ability.
they are in a comfortable silence, two strangers connected by one person. dazai speaks up again, "what's your name?" he asked.
"[name]." she whispered. she looked up at him, he sees her eyes meet his bandages.
"are you osamu dazai?" she asks. "the bandages are my trademark, huh?" he chuckled softly before nodding. "oh, no. don't take offense, please!" she says genuinely before carrying on. "funnily enough, i heard about your bandages from soda." she reminisced, and called oda by a nickname of 'soda'.
he has a lot of questions regarding what she just said but he voices none of them aside from one. "how do you know him?" he looks at her, she is looking at oda's name.
"my father owns bar lupin, and i have known oda since he began coming to the bar. he bought me sodas when dad refused to give me them for free and he earned his nickname of soda." she explained gently.
"what did he say about me?" he asked, curious on how the stranger knew his name. "when oda joined the port mafia, he told me about you and ango. nothing specific but i just remembered ango has glasses with a mole and you have bandages." she shrugged.
"spot on description of ango." he said sarcastically.
he sighed before whispering to himself, "i would do anything to even be in the safe room as him again. he is an excellent man."
the lady is very friendly yet still reserved. she thinks for a moment before pulling out her phone.
within the clear phone case, a photo of a younger version of the girl holding a can of lemonade and a young oda are together.
"i can take you to that moment for a little bit, if you like?" she offers unsurely. his eyes widen and nods slowly. "[name]? how will you do that?" he asks. the stranger's kindness shocking him.
"my special ability allows me to transport myself and anyone close to me, physically, to a moment in time for an hour. we won't be able to talk to oda but you will be in the same room as him as you wish." she explains.
"are you sure? we just met?" he asks, also unsure of if her ability would even work on him. "you must have been important to oda. so you must be a good man, too." she smiles softly.
her words echo in his head, 'a good man, too'.
"my ability nullifies any others. do you have to touch me to use your ability?" he asks, she only responds with a shake of her head. she takes the photo out of her phone case and stands up. osamu follows her lead and stands up too. "ready?" she asks and receives a nod.
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the girl has transported them to the bar lupin. they are in a booth at the back. oda and a younger version of the girl are talking on the barstools. dazai seems to be very confused.
"why am i here? my ability should have nullified yours?" he asks. "you weren't touching me when i activated it. if you touch me now, our time here will pause so we can be here for longer than an hour." he nods his head in reply.
it was rare an ability gets past his, of course no ability could totally surpass his. but the complexity of hers was gorgeous.
"thank you, [name]." he says softly. she smiles, "of course. we both lost him, why wouldn't i take you?"
"do you want a drink, dazai?" she asks him, snapping him out of his trance of watching the past oda. "yes, please. but i thought you couldn't interact with anyone in this time period?" he speaks.
"we can't but that doesn't mean i don't know my way around this bar. come here." she takes him behind the bar and shows him the drink selection. they are stood in front of 15 year old [name] and a 20 year old oda.
dazai and [name] help themselves to drinks as they watch oda. dazai can't shake the feeling [name]'s ability gives him. so beautiful yet powerful. not one for combat but more for remembering. how it is so intricate yet can easily be explained in a few sentences.
dazai then hears his own name in oda's voice.
"oda-soda? what does the boy look like?" past [name] asks. current [name] gives dazai a nudge, referring to how she recognised dazai earlier.
"he must be around your age, dark brown hair and is wrapped up in bandages. awfully clever too! he figured out soon how i cheat in so many games." oda spoke cheerfully to the girl. current [name] found herself smiling at them.
"your ability is beautiful." dazai spoke. "thank you." she hummed. starting to walk back to their booth, she stayed silent. "i'm sorry about what happened." she says ever so quietly, almost as if it was the wind's whistles outside. dazai doesn't respond.
"we have around 5 minutes left. when we go back to current time, it will be the middle of the night. time is messed up when i do this, so don't be alarmed." she explains, interrupting the comfortable silence they sat in.
"i cannot thank you enough, [name]." he says in a normal tone of voice, but so loud compared to the quiet bar. "it is nothing, i don't use my ability much anyways."
both of your eyes were watering yet not a single tear fell. you may have just officially met, but you both had a newly formed bond that will be with you both forever.
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now back at the cemetery, it was pitch black.
"kind of eerie, isn't it?" he spoke. not clarifying whether he meant the setting or her ability. she assumed both.
"yeah." she chuckled softly. "is each photo a one time use?" osamu asked as he looked into her eyes.
she nodded. "it's a shame, but if i could use every photo a million times i wouldn't spend any time in this world, would i?" she elaborated.
they both began to walk back, osamu beginning to tell a story of how one time bar lupin was closed one night but the lupin trio wanted to go out drinking.
they went to every bar in the city but there was something wrong with each one. one bar not being dim enough, another too dim, one having a weird looking cat, one having an ugly wallpaper..
she began to lose herself laughing at the story as he said how one of the reasons being their bartender was funky looking.
subconsciously, they both began to walk to bar lupin. when they arrived at the door, osamu asks her "isn't it almost closing time? will they let us in?" yet he gets a witty response.
"if they don't let us in, my dad would have their heads. i may be an adult now but in here i'm still that little girl with a lot of attitude."
only a few people are in there, each one in their own conversation. a familiar old gentleman is behind the bar. "[name], i didn't know you knew dazai?" he asks.
"i didn't know either. weird, isn't it?" she responds, the bartender knowing her and dazai enough to know what they will order. "on the house for you two. my condolences." the bartender passes them their drinks, knowing all too well why they met.
hours go by, so many that the bartender says that she can stay for as long as she likes but she will need to lock up if she does. they spend the whole night chatting away.
countless photos are taken, this night will be one the two of them will want to revisit in the future.
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heyy!!! sorry 4 not posting recently! and if u got to this bit,, thank u sm xx, if you want something in particular, drop a req!!
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solar-sunnyside-up · 10 months
Note
Hi there... I really love the idea of solarpunk but like. The "punk" part of it makes me so anxious. I think it's a vital part of the movement, but I can never imagine doing something like that myself.
If you have any small (tiny) tips or ideas on things I can do on a more personal level I would appreciate them. Everything seems so overwhelming and completely out of my wheelhouse and skill base
Hey ya 🌱 Sprout!! It can be hard to recognize, particularly in solarpunk, but your already punk and already doing praxis. I'm sure of it.
If you've ever pirated media, DIYed or mended clothes, have a rain barrel, spoke out against poor labor conditions, provided a safe space for anyone in an uncaring world even for a brief interaction- Your already punk!! Anyone who fights and gatekeeps that title from you bc of age, aesthics, or experience is a poser and a FED!!
That being said tho--
If you want to do more outrageous projects there's a few things I can recommend depending on how much you wanna do!!
Battlejacket- TBH the purpose of a battle jacket is to soothe this exact anxiety while also being a fun project and being a single to others!! There's many examples in both my Battlejacket tag and patch idea tag to get you started. You can get iron on patches/print paper that transfers pretty well if your not used to DIYing stuff. If this feels like to big if a step and is too much tho keep in mind you can make a battlejacket and not wear it outside right away. It's a second skin to make you feel and others feel safe, but it's also a big neon target on yourself depending on your environment and where you are. So it's ok to just make one and not wear it out until your ready!! (If you do this-- my only demand is you show me when you do it!! I want to see all of those kinda projects bc I'm obsessed with them)
Getting out there- If starting a guerilla gardening project or joining a community garden, or community association isn't an option for you- be that bc of accessibility/time/energy- I'd recommend starting to archive and getting out there! Inaturalist or falling fruit are awesome programs where you identify plants/animals/stuff outside in general. It gets you outside, your adding to a community which gets the feeling of a ball rolling building confidence and your praxis muscles!!
Root yourself in your community- This is a hard one if your busy/have low spoons/are introverted but I promise its worth doing even if you arent super active in those spaces! Even just researching the history of your town/city/neighborhood and seeing what programs are running can really connect you to the area. A lot of us due to the renting crisis never truly attach to our neighborhoods or are too busy to look into local artists. (Not your fault babes, its built to do that to feed monopolies) Pick even just 1 thing you care about (local artists, teashop, bands, libraries, community fridges, etc..) and find the closest thing to you and get obsessed. Being a regular in any space is an awesome feeling, its where you'll find friends, and you'll directly see any change you provide there.
Media archiving- There's a lot of ways of doing this one but just pirate the fuck out of everything!!!! Burn it to a physical copy, share it with your friends/family! Make mix dvds, burn movies/tv shows! Directly download youtube videos! Print off your fave fanfiction and bind them into books! Particularly with streaming services directly deleting content and getting rid of them entirely this is important work but its also just very fun!! Seeing my wall filled with dvds and books and objects makes my brain happy but also again, the physical exchange of handing the media you love to another person is so unique! Theres lots of guides and methods of doing this depending on the method and medium your using.
Utilizing public spaces- Loitering is a good one as well to push yourself and to interact with things IRL! Use your public libraries and parks excessively! Spend a weird amount of time at the mall not buying stuff! This might seem like a weird one, but its a long term thing. It shows that ppl are supposed to be out and about without spending money, but also many of these places (except the mall obvi) get funding based on usage so the more you use something the more likely they are to make it accessible to more ppl! It also makes it more normal for ppl who need to loiter to be in these spaces which again adds more accessibility. This is also one that might get you unwanted attention so decide your comfort and safety level. Pushing boundaries is good but do it at your own pace.
Vandalize! - Again we're ramping up a bit on risk levels but I recommend it, particularly bus stops or putting up posters. Bus stops is bc at least in my city they only maintenance them once they've been 'ruined' so its actually a cosmic positive to do it in these spaces. Posters are also good! Ive seen quite a few for tenant unions but also a handful of them that are food resources or call outs for police. This is mostly to have passive way to show solidarity or get a message across. But also like your doing art! Great stuff! Again tho this comes with risk if caught or if you dont know what your doing so start with baby steps (like using sharpie on an Ad you fucking hate or putting up a poster in a neutral space to get used to it)
Hopefully these tips get you started!
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sssigil · 1 year
Text
Ultraviolence
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summary: In which you're in your head to much about this relationship with Ethan but he brings you back to reality and makes you realize your nothing but perfect for him and only him.
(as requested)
warnings: fluff fluff fluff so much fluff, Angst, you're really hard yourself, but you guys are so gushy and so in love, Ethan makes you feel better, use of marijuana, use of alcohol, that's it.
You were never the first choice in anything or for anyone. You never liked being an extrovert, if no one ever spoke to you well then you never spoke at all. You loath that about yourself, it was one of your many flaws and you hated it.
Growing up yes you did have many friends, but entering middle school and high school well those "friends" just faded away. Apart from having zero friends, no one ever asked you out on a date. You'd say "well that's stupid who cares if they even liked you romantically" well yea but you know it hurts, it kinda makes you think you aren't worthy for that sorts of stuff. No one ever gave you the option so why pursue it you know.
So when you finally made it to your first year of NYU dating was the last thing you wanted to do. No way were you gonna waste time on some guy or girl who would probably just end up leaving you for someone ten times better. Yea fuck that... but, but you met Tara and through Tara you also met her sister Sam, Chad and Mindy, the core four. That's what they called themselves, it's kinda cute you know, their friendship seemed so pure and warm it made you envious to what they had. But they welcomed you, they introduced you into the friendship and it brought some joy back into your life. You finally felt welcome into a group of people who did not judge or pressure you, you felt safe and sound with them.
Having met them well you met two others. Anika, she was the most charismatic and cutest girl you had ever met. She always made you feel at peace, you appreciated that, you appreciated her. She knows you do, you guys have a connection, not as strong as her and her girlfriend Mindy but something like it.
Ethan was the other person. He's Chads roommate it only made sense why he was in this friend group. Ethan was sweet, he's sweetest boy you've ever met. He is tall, muscular, has the prettiest soft curls and the biggest doe eyes. His voice is soft and soothing always speaking in a soft tone for everyone. Mainly for you but you never noticed, everyone around you did though.
He made you feel the things you know, the butterflies, you HATED it but you also secretly loved it. Every time he spoke to you looking down at you asking if you needed help carrying your books, your bag, your drink EVEN YOUR PHONE, it made you turn a shade of red always telling him "I'm fine, thanks Ethan" smiling up at him almost giggling. I mean no one had given you this kind of attention growing up, no one looked at you the way Ethan did. So you never worked towards that type of relationship with him, but he did.
When he finally got the courage to ask you in front of your guys friend group, you kinda hesitated which made him worry. Did you not feel that way? Did he take your signs wrong? Did he just ruin this connection you both had? A bunch of questions spiraled in his head and the same thing was happening in yours.
What if this is some kind of sick joke. No ones ever felt this way about you. Why would he? He's the perfect, kind and sweet boy who can get with anyone in this city. Why you. Why would he want to get with someone like me. You kept degrading yourself, you felt yourself shake your head lightly, not even looking at him anymore. You were looking at the concrete below you, looking at the little pebbles of tiny rocks that manage to sink into it. You wished you could sink into it. Then you heard your name being called by him, his hands lifting up from his sides, he was holding your face. He was making you come back to reality, he was making you forget these dreadful thoughts.
"You okay? I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable" he spoke softly. Searching your eyes for any sign of rejection and denial and he did see something but he could see that your eyes had softened once you made contact with his brown ones. "Yes" you said smiling and it made him smile. "Yes Ethan i'll be your girlfriend" and he couldn't help himself, he picked you up by the waist, strong arms enveloping around you lifting you off the ground. You squeaked at his actions not really expecting this but still enjoying it. He was one of the best things to happen in your life, but you still had insecurities he doesn't have to know that and you didn't want to worry about it. So you went on with your life with him.
It had been a two months since that happened, you felt at peace with him. Life had never felt so good, you are happy very very happy and so was Ethan. He loved being with you, he loving touching you, he loved being close to you, he loved everything about you. Of course you haven't said it, mainly because it's too early in the relationship you know the L word but he knew he felt it with you.
Now you guys are heading to that halloween frat party with your friend group. You guys were hand in hand giggling and smiling at each other like the lovesick couple you are admiring the costumes you had chosen. You both decided to dress up for this party since everyone else around you was. You and Ethan were going as Padmé Amidala and Anakin Skywalker, I know so corny but come on there love was so beautiful and innocent and strong! It reminded you both of the love you two have, aside for the dying at childbirth and Anakin becoming a Sith Lord, killing younglings and planing to take over the whole galaxy. THEY DESERVED A BETTER ENDING. Aside from that your costumes fit so well with you both and you had gotten so many complements so its a win.
"you guys are so cute its making me gag" Anika spoke jokingly from in front making very loud gagging noises. "true! but not as cute as us babe" Mindy spoke kissing Anika on her cheek, both turning there attention back to Tara and Chad.
"okay but who would have thought going as padmé and ani would gonna get us this much attention" you spoke to your boyfriend excitedly, "come on baby we look good, look at us no LOOK AT YOU! if that blaster was real I'd let you shoot me" he spoke in a serious but joking tone at the end "Ethan?!! I would never shoot you" you spoke in a mad but also joking tone "but cheat on me and see what happens" you spoke "bunny? I would never do that to you. I'd rather feel your wrath then cause such pain to you" he spoke serious now. "m' sorry didn't mean it" now feeling bad at what you had just said to him, you never wanted to hurt him, ever.
After a couple seconds of silence the conversation went back to its happy and sweet tone. Just you two gushing and babbling the cheesiest things ever. And finally you guys were at the party, not your type of scene but since you boyfriend was there it really didn't matter.
You both had slithered you way to the drinks, beer for you and coke for Ethan of course. You made your way to the couches Ethan sitting first and you placing yourself on his lap, back against his but moving yourself to face him a little. "Want some of my beer? promise it won't taste bad" you tell him shaking the red cup in front of him. "No thanks babe coke is pretty yummy for me" he spoke taking a sip of his coke humming happily. "Don't drink too much princess, don't want that pretty little head of yours hurting tomorrow" Ethan said placing his coke on your lap and using that hand to rub the side of your thigh soothingly "No promises" you giggled loudly scrunching your nose at him
"hello my favorite love birds, how are we doing" Mindy exclaimed now sitting to the left of you and Ethan, Anika following behind plopping beside Mindy smiling at both of you. "We're okay" you said dragging the 'y' "wait you have week right?!" you questioned Mindy excitedly "Yes I do" she said pulling the rolled joint from her pocket and asking Anika to light it for her as she placed it in between her lips, inhaling the smoke and finally letting it leave her throat. "fuck that's good" Mindy sighs happily "My turn my turn" you said repeating her actions but inhaling a little longer than her.
"Hey bunny be careful don't choke" your boyfriend said, you turn to look at him motioning him to slightly open his mouth for you, blowing the smoke into his mouth while keeping eye contact with him. "You know I don't" you whisper seductively at him making him almost choke on the smoke that was now in his mouth. You both laugh at that comment making sure to not drop the joint that was in between your index and middle finger.
You take more hits making sure to pass it to Mindy and Anika making sure you don't finish it all by yourself. See as much as you loved being in this state of euphoria you also hated it. You felt everything ten times more. You were now sitting beside Mindy, Ethan had gone to get another coke while you and your two friends finished the smoke sesh. Your eyes had been scanning the living room trying to look for your boyfriend, you just couldn't find him and it had been while since he had left. So you got up, making sure to tell Mindy but she wasn't really paying attention, she was too busy making out with Anika.
"ETHAN" you called out through the loud music blasting in your ears. Head turning left and right, eyes scanning every room you stumble yourself through. You finally find him, he was at the kitchen laughing, god he looked so cute laughing. His eyes were slightly closed, his nose was scrunched up, his shoulder shook lightly and his hair curls bounced lightly. You stood there admiring him but then you noticed, he was laughing with a girl. A very pretty girl in a robe, a gryffindor robe, she had the Harry Potter glasses and the lighting bolt was placed on the right side of her forehead. She was effortlessly pretty.
She looked pretty beside your boyfriend, they looked like an actual couple, they looked like they made sense, this hurt you. You just stood there, watching as she made your boyfriend laugh. She reached her hand out to point out how he was dressed as Anakin, caressing the material of the robe that laid on his biceps complementing him, she was flirting. Ethan just laughed thanking her and also complementing her Harry Potter costume. It made your mind spiral to those thoughts you had when he had first asked you to be his girlfriend.
Here you were, standing by the door of the room he was in, tears filling your eyes as your tried to blink them away. Breath hitching as more and more of these negative thoughts started to get to you. Walking out the room passing Mindy and Anika who were shocked and confused on why you walked out the house with tears in your eyes.
"Hey, hey, what happened? what's wrong?'' you could hear the worry in Anika's voice as she asked you. "Where's Ethan?" Mindy asked looking around trying to find him then looked back at you, you now sat on the cold concrete admiring it just like you had done before. "It's okay. Im just over exaggerating. I'm okay I swear, please go back inside and enjoy the party" you said to them wiping the tears the had flown down your soft cheeks, trying to smile for them to encourage them inside the house. You just wanted to be alone.
They insisted on staying but they could tell you wanted to be alone, they respected that but still worried for you, so they went looking for Ethan. When they finally found him he had such a panic look on his face. He couldn't find you anywhere and he didn't like that, he needed to see you, he needed to be with you. "Hey guys where's is she?" He said your name looking behind Mindy and Anika thinking he'd find you trailing behind them. "She's outside at the front, please go talk to her, somethings wrong, we worry for her" your friends obligated him.
And he did just that. He ran out the house, he never wanted to see you the way he did. You sat on the ground head pointed towards the ground, tears now leaving your eyes in water falls. Eyes red and so was your cheeks but not because of the weed but because on how much you had been crying, he hated seeing you like this.
"Hey angel face what's wrong" he cooed at you reaching out to hold your face but you flinched from his touch and that struck pain into his chest. "Speak to me baby" he encouraged you trying to coax anything from you to know why you are feeling this way. "why do you want to be with me?" you questioned him looking into his eyes trying to search for a answer.
"Because I only want to be with you, I need you in order to feel as if I finally have something good in my life. You are the most beautiful being to exist in this whole entire galaxy. I would be nothing with out you" he spoke in the warmest and sincerest voice, he was crouched down in front of you forehead almost touching yours. You looked at his big brown eyes thinking you'd only see how he was speaking lies but you only saw comfort in them. "You saw me with that girl didn't you?" now realizing why you felt this way. You nod your head looking back down to the ground.
"Oh baby" now leaving small kisses on your lips tasting the salty tears that ran down your lips "Yea I didn't notice how she was flirting with me baby I'm sorry, I thought she was being nice but once I noticed her intentions I told her I already had my beautiful amazing girlfriend" smiling at you still leaving soft wet kisses on your cheeks. "really?" you spoke softly looking at him again tilting your head really enjoying the kisses he was leaving on your face. "Yes angel face, its always you"
"its just" you spoke but you didn't finish the sentence "I know baby, we all feel insecure, but never can ever replace you. I love you" Ethan said not realizing his last words "You. You love me?" you said surprised at his words but also felt the heat in your face rise "I do angel face, I Love You" he exclaimed loudly picking you up once again just like that very first time. "I love you too Ethan, more than anyone in this galaxy" you giggled, tears no longer dripping from your eyes.
You kissed him as if it was the last kiss you both were gonna share. It was soft and slow, you took in each others taste and you loved every second go it. You let go of his lips finally trying to catch your breath from all the kissing. Feet now planted to the ground. "you know we both really took in that role of ani and padme" you said giggling making Ethan laugh with you. "I mean I would destroy the whole galaxy in order to save you"your boyfriend said proudly making you giggle louder.
"you're so pretty" you told Ethan running your fingers through his soft brown curls, it made him blush at your words "you're really pretty too bunny, the prettiest" kissing you once again.
"lets go back to my dorm angel" Ethan spoke wiggling his eye brows implying what he wanted to do "ETHAN! don't say that out loud" you yelled his name hitting his chest playfully. "Okay lets go" you said running away from him and towards his dorms, he chased you not so far behind.
You guys are so in love and nothing could ever change that.
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ON THE TOPIC OF BARNABY. as well as his relationship with Wally.
So. To kick this off - Riv (@funonion) and I were Speculating, and they introduced me to the johari window:
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They put Barnaby in the “facade” section, and I entirely agree. To quote them;
“So he’s Wally’s guide, right? He’s the “knowledgeable” one of the two and is always the one teaching him new things. And you know, it’s one thing if you’re just teaching him how to laugh or how to tell a joke. But.
Clown has given us two doors. One says that Barnaby understands Wally in a way the rest of the neighborhood doesn’t, and is willing to do his dirty work so to speak. The other says that their friendship was not a natural occurring thing and had to be enforced repeatedly within the show. HOW THAT’S BEING ENFORCED IS ANOTHER THING ENTIRELY but it is worth it to note.
What is Barnaby willing to keep? What is he willing to bury for his little buddy? I can’t say anything definitively yet, but the fact that I even have to ask is telling. The class clown archetype is usually used as a way to cover up for something else a character might be experiencing”
And my response, (I won’t directly quote because I have little things in the phrasing & elaboration to add / tweak );
Barnaby being a Comic Relief Character immediately raised so many alarms in my head. I love comic relief characters. They’re always so fucked up in one way or another, and Barnaby is almost certainly SO inauthentic. He’s wearing a comedy mask just as opaque as Wally’s own mask. In everything we’ve seen about him so far he’s either Teaching Wally, wisecracking/joking, or… pretty much nothing else. We got that moment of concern in audio 14-14, but that doesn’t reveal anything beyond genuine care for Wally.
Comedic characters have the best disguises. Their poker faces & ability to deflect is always top tier [and practiced], and just look at comedy-focused actors and entertainers - so many of them have severe issues, either with their mental health or life. From what i’ve observed both in that aspect & with fictional characters, they play it off & work hard to entertain/deflect [one in the same] right up until the end. Sometimes it’s a coping mechanism. Usually it’s both. If they laugh loud enough and make people think they’re lighthearted fools w/ nothing underneath, no one will look any deeper and thus they’re “safe”. 
& I’m a little suspicious that Barnaby’s red/orange/yellow spots aren’t naturally those colors. While yes, he could be (in-universe) designed that way to echo Ms. Beagle, there’s a strong possibility that that’s not it. What if he paints them to feel a connection to her, or it’s a physical manifestation of Barnaby covering up his insecurities/issues - what if it’s part of him striving to convince the world that he is what he paints himself as. 
The laidback funnyguy with a loving mom and not a problem in the world. 
And I mean, Barnaby claims to be a natural blue and I believe him! But the other colors? I’m doubtful
(I was going to include the Cast As Lil Kids Designs in this since Barnaby has all blue spots, but given how early in 2021 it was posted and how there seem to be little discrepancies from the ~official~ designs, I don’t want to provide it as evidence.)
& on the topic of Wally and Barnaby’s relationship being both real and not - disclaimer, this conversation happened before my Updated Thoughts On Them post, so there may be some minor rephrasing here from what I originally said - I’m sure that the relationship started out as inauthentic. Wally was assigned Barnaby as a best friend and technically vice versa, but I don’t doubt for a second that it became real to some extent. Clown wouldn’t treat their relationship outside of “canon” WH stuff the way that he does if they weren’t actually friends. They’ve said that Wally & Barnaby would be friends in every universe (which melts my heart <3 platonic soulmates my beloved <3), so then I have to agree with Riv. what WILL Barnaby do for Wally? I touched on this in the Milk Theory, but especially if Barnaby prides himself on “knowing Wally better than anything else”, what would Barn do to preserve that?
This relates to another conversation we had - Barnaby possibly having abandonment issues. It’s such a choice to have him of all characters be explicitly stated as an orphan. That and while every other Neighbor with a mentioned family have a somewhat large one (Howdy and his gajillion relatives, Julie and her three siblings, Poppy and her crowded tree [note: Eddie has a mentioned mother, but that info is tenuous and who knows if there are other Dears]), Barnaby has also explicitly stated that Ms. Beagle is his only family. That’s it. And farm life can’t be a sociable way to grow up, not with all the chores he must have had and how rural he might have grown up. Barnaby jokes that Home is the “Big Apple”, which could just be a joke - but jokes often come from a place of truth, and Home might be the most populated area Barnaby has lived in. Who’s to say!
Either way, Barnaby was orphaned one way or another, and I don’t doubt that it weighs on him. Especially if  his birth parents really did abandon him. That added to a possible life of loneliness… I wonder if he’s latched onto Wally emotionally, which would hit all the painful places if it turns out that my “Barnaby is more attached to Wally than Wally is to Barnaby” theory has merit. Abandonment issues could also strongly back the apparent walls he’s plastered over with circus tent fabric
Back to Barnaby & Wally: the fact that, at present, Barnaby and Wally seem to have the best disguises / strongest masks. That. looking at 14-14, i suspect that Barnaby is excellent at keeping his up, but as soon as Wally’s mask cracks, so does Barnaby’s. 
And then there’s the side of their dynamic that we could look at - it seems to be a very multifaceted relationship. The way that Barnaby genuinely cares yet in the 00 Halloween audio Wally was left off to the side and Barnaby was just “checking on him” while socializing (then again, this could be part of Barnaby understanding Wally & respecting his space / Wally wanting a break from that socialization). Barnaby is patient with Wally and yet he seems to sometimes treat Wally as his sidekick / let him fade into the background and yet Barnaby kept checking in on Wally during the 14 bug audios (this last one I could tie into the abandonment issues theory). 
Then there’s how Barnaby calls Wally kid & can tend to treat him like one despite both of them being in the same age group. The way that all of this could, in a way, relate to the infantilization of autistic people (no matter how well-meaning or unintentional) & internalized ableism. 
Note: Riv pointed out that Barnaby does seem to be doing the best with what he has, and that this can connect to the Johari Window’s blind spot / unknown. 
I do agree with this wholeheartedly! And I have to mention that - and making a Very educated guess here - the interactions we’ve seen take place in the very late 60s / very early 70s, so Barnaby’s behavior towards Wally is actually pretty fucking stellar given the time period. We can’t expect him to be perfect or do everything / say everything right. That would be boring I think! And one thing I deeply appreciate about the Neighbors & their dynamics is that they feel like real layered people, not cardboard cutouts being perfect caricatures of what people are “supposed” to be like.
Riv also presented this:
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We likely are going to reach a point where Wally asks Barnaby something that he can’t / doesn’t want to / won’t answer. And like.. Ok. This is a slight tangent but I swear it’s related! When I first discovered WH and learned the Wally basics, I wondered two things.
Are we going to watch Wally “discover” new emotions? Because he certainly has them. Clown has said that Wally only ever feels happy, and a lot of people took that to mean that Wally can’t feel anything else. I don’t think we should take that answer at face value, because. I mean. Look at the project & creator we’re talking about. Layers, guys. Indirect direct answers. I think that Clown meant that Wally only ever feels happy in the Neighborhood because he has no reason to feel any negative emotion. Everything is as it should be. Until it isn’t - and I think that’s where he’s going to have to struggle with new emotions as he encounters them through new situations/events unfolding as the “story” starts to deteriorate. We’ve actually seen this a little bit - in Wally’s record audios (i believe the chronological second to last?), the way he says “Let Me In” so insistently. That’s definitely not a positive emotion being expressed. 
How will the topic of death be handled - because it will be handled, it’s stated in the project warnings. I was wondering this even before I read the list, because I was presented with a blank slate puppet character and so went “oh fuck, this dude doesn’t know about death, does he?” Obviously I wanted to know how that would go. I want to know how it Will go! 
How would Barnaby explain emotions that Wally doesn’t know how to convey? How would Barnaby explain death in a way that Wally would understand - given that Barnaby (& all the Neighbors sans Wally) knows what death is  - and would Barnaby be willing to explain such a thing? I have a feeling we may find out.
And in a way, I suspect that if none of them know, Wally will find out himself and have to process it without help. But then again, how can something die if it was never really alive in the first place? Unless the death warning relates to human characters… I’m currently assuming it relates to both humans and puppets. 
In conclusion: Barnaby has a carefully fabricated facade, he's doing the best with what he has but it likely won't be enough, and uh. shits fucked!
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devilishchaos · 8 months
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THE { } AND | Rúben Dias Imagine
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Rating / genre: interview?, conversation
Pairings: Reader x Rúben Dias
Summary: Y/N and Rúben play a card game and answer questions about each other. Basically admiration to one another.
Warnings: not really an Imagine; first pov; mention of death; it's fluff I think, like it's soft and brings Y/N and Rúben together idk I'm trying something new
Word Count: 1 475 words
This is a work of fiction. The story, names, characters and incidents either are product or the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Walking into the room I admired the set that the crew had put together. I went around the table that was in the middle and sat down in a chair on the left, while Rúben sat beside me in a different chair, to my right. 
“You ready?” he asked me after we were mic'd up and ready to go, then grabbed my hand, knowing that I get nervous when someone is filming me. Although I knew what I was getting myself into when we decided that we were going to start dating. I mean this kind of stuff comes with dating a celebrity right? 
“Yeah.” 
“Are you okay with doing this?” 
“Rúben, I am here. If I wasn’t okay with any of this I wouldn’t be here, no?” 
“Okay baby, let’s do this!” He smiles. 
“Okay guys, you know the drill. Y/N will ask Rúben the questions off her cue cards, Rúben you will ask Y/N the questions off your cue cards and you have to answer the questions about the other person. We begin rolling in 3, 2, 1..” the director said and the cameras began rolling. 
“Hello guys, it’s Rúben here. I am here with Y/N, my girlfriend..” 
“Hello.”
“..and today we will be playing THE { } AND card game in this creative studio, exploring human emotion, intimacy and connection.” Rúben said and looked in my direction, which meant that it was time for my line. 
I took a deep breath and just said it. 
“Each one of us has their cue cards. Mine consist of questions for Rúben, Rúben’s cards consist of questions for me to answer. And we will be answering them in front of you guys. Who is going to start first?” I looked at Rúben and he suggested that I do. 
“Okay. First question Rúbes. Describe the moment you realized you could trust me.” I read the question out loud and placed my card on the table. 
“Okay, so..just when you were there for me, I mean, without me asking, without anything..just how much I could tell you loved me by the way you handled me when I didn’t know what was going on, what to do and which direction to take.” Rúben answered and here we were on the first question and there were tears in my eyes already. “There's that. My turn. What does my love feel like? ” 
“Oh wow..” I was taken aback “..what does your love feel like? Hmm..your love is intense and hard..you love hard to the point where I’m like “Let me breathe.” but at the same time it’s so warm and..safe. It makes me relax. You know?” and he just nodded his head. “What is a pain in me you wish you could heal?”  
“The loss of your grandfather..” the moment he said that sentence, it felt like the air had been sucked out of my lungs because he knows how I feel about that. 
“I really do. But I know I never could heal it. What I want you to do is to heal it yourself, because no one can heal your pain..I know this was before my time. Before me and you got together, so I can’t tell you he died of his sickness nor that he wasn’t murdered by accident..but baby there’s nothing that you could have done to help him, you’ve seen his state..” Rúben stopped for a second and reached for my face to wipe a couple of tears because by now the tears were falling freely. Then he continued 
“I don't think anybody comes back from losing someone that they love deeply. But if I could, I'll take that pain away. I'll take your pain because I can deal with that pain. You understand what I’m saying? Because you already know how I deal with hurt. I don't let it kill me because I think that's what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to take your lessons, whether it’s good or bad, whether it’s a loss or a gain. You just gotta take it and learn how to live with it, because that's yours and it's never going to go away. But I just want you to learn how to live with that wound without letting it consume you.” 
And with that I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding and started fanning my face a bit. God, I was probably red as a tomato in the face. 
“You good? Should we continue?” Rúben asked me with concern. 
“Yeah, yeah..I’m good. Ask me.” I gave him a smile. 
“When do you feel closest to me?” 
“When we cuddle.” I let out a giggle “I mean it’s a specific type of a cuddle. So like during the day if we cuddle it’s usually on the couch or on a chair outside in the garden. And most of the time it’s you laying down and me attached to you like a koala or something, and I put my head on your chest and yeah. I love that. But I feel closest to you at night or after a hard time that I was going through, with work or uni, when we spoon..and I am the little spoon..and I just I don’t know what is it but my head fits perfectly on your shoulder and it’s so comfy..you embrace me with both hands and your head is really close to mine..it’s the best, honestly.” 
“Really? I didn’t know that. We should do it more often.” 
“Yes. So Rúben, how am I most like you and how does that scare you? What a great question.” 
“It’s very simple. You are indefatigably honest. You reek of integrity and that scares me I guess, because that’s a holy grail for me. I can’t stand the emotional cowardness that people showcase these days.”
“The same goes to you, babe.”
“Okay. Y/N. When do you worry about me the most?” 
“Well, when you’re being too harsh on yourself. When you’re struggling or going through a hard time with work, family or me. Makes me feel helpless..and on that note it’s going to sound cliche but also when you go on the pitch. I feel like that implies to everybody who has such dynamic jobs. But like it’s not you who I am concerned about..well it’s you but what I mean is you are probably the most diplomatic person that I know. And I know you, and I know you would never start shit first. You know what I mean? It’s the other players that I don’t trust, because I’ve seen horrific things happen out there. You are usually the first one to try to stop a fight or whatever, but I am afraid that someone would purposefully hurt you or injure you, or try to provoke you. These thoughts alone make me anxious. I sometimes can't wait to hear the final whistle, no matter if you're losing or winning, if there are more than five yellow cards given - I'm on the edge the whole time and I want it to be over with..Well would you look at this Rú, last question. When do you think I need you most and are you there?” 
“A tough one. Hmm..I think you need me most when you are not feeling well. Mentally, emotionally and physically. I think I am there. I feel like I am there, If I can be there I am. And even if I almost can’t be there, I find a way to be there with you. Through whatever it is that you're going through. And it’s hard because you require alone time. And I respect that and I give it to you, well I try to but I know you..you'll most likely overthink everything and knowing that you are restless and in distress makes me go crazy..Now, your last question Y/N. When are you the most in love with me?” 
“Oh my God..when you are surrounded by family and friends. Doesn’t matter if your parents come to visit us in Manchester or we go to Portugal. That’s when you are completely relaxing. As I said before, you are very intense, passionate, responsible, serious and just about your business in your day-to-day lifestyle. You are on the edge 24/7 trying to do your best everyday and seeing you with your family absolutely melts me. You get more soft, you get to chill and rest, loosen up a bit, and let go of any negative energy. Recharge your batteries, you know what I’m saying.” 
“I love you, Y/N.” 
“I love you, Rúben.” 
“Well, there you go guys. This was me and my lovely girlfriend answering these great questions that I feel like brought us closer to one another. Hope you enjoyed it, we sure did. And I guess I will see you soon. Have a great day. Bye, guys.”
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tonyspank · 9 months
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CHAPTER THREE | RECKLESS
Tara Carpenter x G!P Reader x Female OC
Warnings: kissing, fluff, short chapter because i want u guys to be happy one last time
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series masterlist | main masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter
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SEVEN MONTHS LATER
It's been seven months since Tara and Sam brought you back to their community. You've settled into a routine and formed close bonds with the people there. Life has become more stable, and you feel a sense of belonging that you haven't felt in a long time. The community has become your new family, and you couldn't be more grateful for Tara and Sam.
Sometimes you'd go on supply runs; other times you'd take out groups of walkers, clearing the area around the community to ensure everyone's safety. The once terrifying world has become a place where you can make a difference, and you're determined to protect your new family at all costs.
You've grown close to Sidney, Tara, and Ethan the most. Sidney has become the aunt you've never had, always offering wise advice and comforting you during tough times. Ethan has become like a brother to you, always looking out for your well-being and making sure you never feel alone.
While Tara...she's... you don't even know how to explain it. She's a close friend, but at times it feels like there's something more to that, a deeper connection that you can't quite put into words. There's a magnetic pull between the two of you, an unspoken understanding that transcends friendship. It's both exhilarating and terrifying, leaving you questioning the boundaries of your relationship and what it could potentially become.
But, you don't want to risk anything. Especially since Iris is here. It feels weird to move on from her because, since the start of this apocalypse, the only thing you could think of was Iris and how much you missed your girlfriend. But, it doesn't seem like she feels the same way. You'd catch her and Chad being intimate and affectionate, making it clear that she has moved on.
Heather told you that Chad and Iris have been a complicated couple since they met at the community. Iris was stuck on you while Chad was pursuing her relentlessly. He even saved her life one day on a dangerous mission, which made her start to develop feelings for him. It's painful to accept, but it seems like Iris has found happiness with Chad, and it's time for you to do the same.
It's hard to accept that Iris has chosen someone else, but you know deep down that you can't force someone to feel a certain way. You deserve someone who loves you wholeheartedly and reciprocates your feelings. It may be difficult now, but with time, you will find someone who appreciates and cherishes you just as much as you do them.
"Ouch!" You grunt out, landing on your back. Ethan smiles at you, panting as he holds out a hand to help you up. You send him a playful glare before taking his hand and allowing him to pull you up. "How are you so good at close-range combat?"
You ask, still catching your breath. Ethan chuckles and says, "Cop dad. He taught me a few moves growing up," he explains, wiping the sweat off his forehead. "But ever since, you know, the dead and stuff, he's been on my ass about it."
You hum in response, "That's nice. Officer Bailey seems like a nice guy...when he's not sulking around the place." Ethan nods in agreement, a hint of sadness in his eyes. "Yeah, he's been through a lot. Losing Mom really hit him hard. But he's trying his best to keep us safe and sane in this messed up world."
You give him a sympathetic smile, understanding the weight Officer Bailey carries on his shoulders. Despite the tough exterior, you can see the love and dedication he has for his family.
"C'mon! Chop, chop." Dewey says, interrupting your conversation and urging you two to spar more. You and Ethan exchange a knowing glance before playfully rolling your eyes at Dewey's impatience. You hold up your fists again, ready to continue the sparring session.
After about twenty more minutes of sparring, the session is finally over, and you're sitting cross-legged on the grass, catching your breath. Dewey walks over, a satisfied grin on his face, and pats both you and Ethan on the back. "Great job, guys," he says. "You're really improving." You exchange a proud smile with Ethan as Dewey walks away.
"I have a very serious question." You look at Ethan, curious about what he's going to ask. "What is it?" you reply, eager to hear what's on his mind. "Did you take my pudding from inventory?" You raise an eyebrow in surprise at Ethan's question. "Your pudding? No, I didn't take it," you answer honestly, wondering why he would think that.
Ethan thins out his lips, eyeing you suspiciously. He then sighs as he senses your genuine confusion. "It must've been Chad then! Ever since we've been returning from supply runs, every single one of my sweet snacks has disappeared." You tilt your head, considering Ethan's accusation. "Chad? Are you sure it's him?" you ask, curious about the possible culprit.
Ethan nods, frustration evident on his face. "I've noticed him eyeing my snacks before, and he always seems to have a guilty look when I ask about them," he explains. You hum a bit before turning your head to Tara, who was walking down the community's street, looking bored as ever.
"I'll talk to you later, E." Ethan nods in response, a small smile playing on his lips as he watches you jog over to Tara. "Hey, Tara."
"Hey, what's up?" Tara responds, smiling at you. "Not much, just wanted to ask if you maybe wanna hang out outside the walls for a bit." Tara shrugs, her smile never fading. "Sure, why not?"
"Cool, let me just shower, and I'll be ready to go." You quickly make your way back to your house, taking a quick shower before meeting up with Tara again. She greets you with a warm smile, her excitement evident in her eyes. "Ready?" she asks, her voice filled with anticipation.
You nod eagerly, "Mhm." You wave at Officer Hicks, who salutes back to you, opening the gate for you and Tara to exit the walls. You and Tara start walking away from the community, stealing glances at each other every now and then.
"I actually have a surprise for you." You say, breaking the comfortable silence. Tara raises an eyebrow, looking at you. Curiosity sparkles in her eyes as she waits for you to reveal the surprise. "Well, remember how you mentioned you liked horror movies?" you begin, a mischievous grin spreading across your face.
"I found this abandoned movie theatre not too far from here. Ethan helped me clean it up and fix the projector. We can have our own private horror movie marathon today."
Tara's eyes widen with thrill as she realizes the surprise. "You're lying!" she exclaims, her smile matching your mischievous grin. The two of you quicken your pace, eager to reach the movie theatre and begin your thrilling movie night.
"What's your favorite scary movie?" You ask Tara in a Ghostface mask, trying your best to imitate the iconic killer from the Stab franchise. Tara giggles and playfully pretends to be scared, but then responds, "Hmm, I think I'll have to go with It Follows. Elevated horror is where it's at."
You take off the mask, tilting your head. "Really? Elevated horror? What about Friday the 13th? Jason is a classic." Tara shrugs, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Sure, Jason is iconic, but I prefer the psychological depth and thought-provoking themes of films like It Follows. It's all about the slow-burning suspense for me."
"You're lucky you're cute." Tara chuckles and playfully nudges you. "Well, I guess my good looks give me an advantage in our horror movie debates." She winks, teasingly adding, "But hey, maybe one day I'll convince you to appreciate elevated horror too."
"Blah, blah, blah." You say, walking further into the movie theatre, ending up at a snack bar. You lean against it as Tara continues her argument about elevated horror. "Jason is just a mindless slasher. It Follows actually makes you think and keeps you on the edge of your seat." Tara playfully sticks her tongue out at you, daring you to challenge her taste in horror movies.
Rolling your eyes, you retort, "Please, Tara. A classic slasher film like Friday the 13th is a timeless masterpiece. It's all about the thrill and suspense, not overanalyzing every single detail. But hey, I'll give It Follows a chance if it means shutting you up for once." Tara giggles, knowing that you're just playing along and secretly enjoying the ongoing debates between you two.
You turn around, facing the snack bar, and reach for the old and expired candy box, that's probably been there since before the apocalypse. Your heart skips a beat when Tara does the same, your hands touching.
You both exchange a quick glance, causing a slight blush to creep onto your cheeks. It's in these small moments that you realize there might be something more than just friendly banter between you and Tara.
"You can have them." You tell Tara, chuckling a bit. She smiles, placing the box of candy in your hand. "Take them." You shake your head, "No, uh," you interrupt yourself with your own laugh. "If you want them, you have them." You set down the box of candy in front of Tara, who quickly picks it up, holding it in front of you.
"You think I want these?" Tara raises an eyebrow playfully, her eyes sparkling. She breaks eye contact with you as you stare at her, a lingering smile on your face. "Kind of..."
"They're like one hundred years old." she jokes, setting them back down. "Maybe that's your thing," she mutters, finally glancing back at your eyes.
The two of you stare at each other, caught in a moment of playful tension. The air between you is charged with unspoken words and a hint of curiosity. It's as if time has momentarily frozen, allowing the anticipation to build. Both of you are aware of the unspoken connection, wondering where it might lead.
It's been a while since you've been truly happy with someone, so happy that your cheeks hurt from smiling so much, so lost in the trance of the woman in front of you. She was perfect. Her perfect hair, her perfect eyebrows, her perfect eyes, her perfect nose, her perfect lips. Everything about her seemed meticulously crafted to perfection.
You smile wider at yourself, glancing between her eyes and her lips. Tara's heart has never felt this alive, pulsating with newfound energy. She knows she's attracted to you, that much is sure, but there's something more than just physical attraction.
It's the way you listen intently to every word she says and the way you laugh at her jokes as if they're the funniest things you've ever heard. There's a connection between you that goes beyond surface-level beauty, and it's that deep emotional bond that truly sets you apart from anyone else she's ever met.
But she's also scared. She's scared to get attached to you more than she already is and lose you to the walkers that lurk in the shadows. The fear of losing you to something beyond her control haunts her, making her hesitant to fully embrace the connection she feels.
She knows that the world is unpredictable and filled with dangers, and the thought of losing you to those uncertainties terrifies her. It's not that she doesn't want to fully embrace the connection, but rather, she's grappling with her own vulnerabilities and the fear of being left alone in a world that feels increasingly unstable.
However, another part of her says to do it. Take the risk and allow her to be happy, even if it's just for a second. Tara takes a deep breath, "I actually—"
She's cut off by you connecting your lips with hers, and in that moment, all her fears and uncertainties melt away. The warmth of your embrace reassures her that maybe, just maybe, taking the risk was worth it after all. Her hands grip your face, pulling you closer if that were possible, you wrap your arms around her body, holding her tightly as if she's going to fade away.
As your lips part, an intoxicating sense of contentment lingers in the air. Tara stares into your eyes, a hint of tears reflecting the depth of her gratitude. In that electrifying moment, she realizes that she has found something she never thought possible—a passion that is boundless and worth every ounce of risk. With a smile curving on her lips, she whispers, "What took you so long?"
You chuckle softly, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "I finally thought of that heartfelt thank you," you reply, your voice filled with bliss. Tara giggles, her laughter filling the air like music. "I can't believe you remember that."
She leans in closer, bringing you into another quick and simple kiss. When she pulls away, her eyes glance between yours, her hand trailing your facial features. "I'm scared of losing you."
You gently take her hand in yours, reassuringly squeezing it. "I promise you, Tara, I'm not going anywhere," you say sincerely, your voice filled with love and determination. She smiles softly, her fears momentarily eased by your words.
"I actually do have a question." You tilt your head, waiting for her to continue. "Was...Iris the only person you had before...the outbreak?" You pause for a moment, memories of the past flooding your mind.
"Kind of...yeah. It's always just been Iris and her family. I actually met Iris a few months after my adoptive mother passed away...she was the first person I connected with after such a difficult loss. We quickly became each other's support system, and we started dating a bit after that.." You pause, a bittersweet smile on your face, as you recall the bond you share with Iris. "I'm just glad she's okay."
Tara nods, her eyes filled with understanding. "Thank you for telling me." You appreciate Tara's empathy and the safe space she has created for you to share your story. It feels good to have someone who listens and understands without judgment.
"You're finally back!" Heather says, bursting through your front door. You turn toward Heather, a smile spreading across your face. "I am." Heather lets out a loud groan, "Then can you please watch Iris? I'm supposed to be hanging out with Amber."
You furrow your eyebrows, "What's wrong with Iris?" You ask, concerned about Heather's sudden change in attitude towards Iris. Heather sighs and rolls her eyes, "She's sick, and she's been acting really cranky all day. I just need a break from her for a little while. So! Now that you're off your date with tiny Tara, can you watch her?"
You blush, "It wasn't a date," you mutter, not convincing Heather one bit. "But sure, I can watch Iris for a bit. Is there anything specific I should know or do while taking care of her?"
Heather shakes her head and says, "Not really, just make sure she takes her medicine and gets plenty of rest. She's been running a fever, so keep an eye on that too." You nod, assuring Heather that you'll take good care of Iris.
Heather exits your house, causing Amber to rise, "She said yes?" Amber asks her girlfriend, who nods in response. "Mhm," Amber continues, "I can't believe you're still trying to play cupid with Y/N and Iris. I'm pretty sure Y/N really likes Tara."
"Well, you never know. Sometimes feelings can change unexpectedly. Besides, Y/N did agree to take care of Iris, so maybe there's still a chance for them." Amber rolls her eyes playfully and says, "Sure, babe."
You knock on Iris's door, and a faint, "Come in." follows your knock. As you enter, you see Iris lying in bed, a wet washcloth on her forehead. You walk over to Iris and ask, "How are you feeling?" She looks up at you with a weak smile and replies, "I'm still not feeling great, but the washcloth is helping a bit." You sit down beside her and say, "I brought you some soup. Maybe it'll help you feel better."
You help her sit up, supporting her back with a pillow. Iris gratefully accepts the soup and takes a few spoonfuls, savoring the warmth and nourishment. She looks at you appreciatively and says, "Thank you so much for taking care of me." You smile and reassure her, "Of course, I'll always be here for you."
"Did Heather set you up to this?" She asks, a faint smile on her lips. You chuckle and shake your head, "Yeah, but still, I just wanted to make sure you're okay." Iris's smile widens, and she says, "Well, I'm lucky to have you in my life."
"Remember when Heather got sick and we all took turns taking care of her? It's nice to see that we have each other's backs." Iris says, not making eye contact with you. You start laughing, And it turns out she was faking the whole thing."
Iris's brows furrow, "What?" Your eyes widen, and your jaw drops. "Yeah, she admitted it later. I didn't know she didn't tell you." Iris's smile fades, replaced by a look of disbelief. "I can't believe she would do something like that. That's really messed up."
"I mean...she did have to run the mile that day, I'd do the same thing." You shrug, trying to lighten the mood. "Well, I guess we all have our own ways of avoiding running." Iris chuckles, shaking her head. "Yeah, but faking sick behind my back? That's a whole new level." You both laugh, finding peace in the moment.
Iris puts down her soup and stares at you. "You look happy." You smile back at Iris and reply, "Yeah, I guess I am. It feels good to just relax and have a laugh with you. You look like shit, though."
Iris chuckles and rolls her eyes. "Thanks, I appreciate the honesty. It's been a rough day." You nod sympathetically, understanding that it's because of her sickness. "Maybe you should try and sleep." You suggest, helping her lie back down. Iris sighs and nods, her eyes showing exhaustion.
"Yeah, maybe you're right. I could use some rest." You tuck her in and dim the lights, creating a soothing atmosphere. "I'll stay here with you until you fall asleep," you offer, hoping to provide some comfort during her rough day.
"You could lay down too..." Iris mumbles, her voice trailing off as she starts to drift off. You hesitate for a moment, considering her suggestion, before deciding to join her. As you lie down next to her, you feel a sense of closeness and reassurance, knowing that your presence brings her some ease.
Iris places her head on your chest, listening to the steady rhythm of your heartbeat. The sound lulls her into a deeper state of relaxation, and you can feel her tension slowly melting away. You gently stroke her hair, and mutter, "You better not get me sick."
Iris chuckles softly, her voice barely audible as she whispers, "Don't worry, I'll take care of you if that happens."
When Iris finally falls asleep, it's late at night. You slip from her grasp and leave, making your way to the inventory to see if there's any tea that could help her. Your heart drops when you see a figure standing in the dimly lit room, their back turned towards you.
They turn around quickly, and you let out a sigh, allowing yourself to relax. "Richie, you scared the hell out of me." Richie chuckles and apologizes, "Sorry about that. I didn't mean to startle you." Your eyes fall to the basket in his hands.
He notices speaking up, "Gale asked me to get this." You hum, "Do you have any tea? Iris is sick." Richie nods sympathetically and says, "Yeah, yeah. Here." He reaches into the basket and hands you a small packet of tea. "I hope this helps," he says with a warm smile.
Richie then walks away, basket in hand, leaving you standing there, thankful and confused. Maybe he was the one who stole Ethan's snacks.
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takenbypeter · 1 year
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Hiii i love ur writing!!!
I was wondering if you could write a young Kurt Wagner x fem!reader hc or fic about kurt liking the reader who is really cool and funny and he thinks shes way out of his league, it doesnt help that some of the more extroverted students are always flirting, and he doesnt get how it comes so naturally to them. Anyways he's lowkey jealous and insecure (esspecially bc he looks so different compared to her and the other students) and oblivious to the fact that the reader only has eyes for him!! Angst and fluff are my faves ugh
(+bonus if peter tries to give him advice on how to hit on a girl and its a total trainwreck bc kurt is so obviously not acting like himself and shes lowkey freaked out and trying not to laugh in his face💀)
Stick to the Plan
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Kurt Wagner x reader
Words: 1486
Authors note: I totally forgot about the jealousy aspect of this whole thing sorry but I hope you still like it and this is like my first Kurt fic so yayyyy!
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Kurt was already easily known as the nervous type around people. Didn’t always know what to say, didn’t want to do the wrong thing.
But with you? He was terrified.
Now he knew you weren’t perfect, no one is. But he was pretty sure you were just about close to it.
You were quite beautiful yet weren’t afraid to wear silly expressions. Your laugh was very infectious that even when he wasn’t a part of the conversation, he could feel his cheeks uplifting at just the sound that he recognized from far away.
Kurt didn’t talk to you much but he did always find himself coincidentally in the same area as you. He found it quite admirable how it seemed like you got along with practically everyone and never let anything get you down.
You could say he had a crush.
He wanted to talk to you, to connect about anything, but like mentioned earlier…he was scared. It also didn’t help that he could tell that he wasn’t the only one who had a thing for you. He knew of at least two other guys who were very obvious in their likings of you. But unlike himself, they actually had the guts to talk to you, you’ve laughed with them, shared jokes.
It also didn’t help that Kurt couldn’t help but feel like he looked like a freak most of the time. The tail, the teeth, the blue, sometimes it was hard for him to believe that people could accept him this way—that you could accept him this way.
Despite what he felt, he believed he kept his feelings well hidden, but that wasn’t exactly the case because a certain speedster had caught on quickly.
Kurt had just watched you leave the small group that you had been chatting with, you just about stepped out of the room when a voice suddenly appeared right beside Kurt’s ear. “So when are you planning on puttin’ the moves on?”
Kurt jumped, shocked at the question, “excuse me?”
“Come on, you’ve been pining for weeks, just make your move already.”
Kurt freezes for a moment, but then grabs the man unexpectedly and disappears as a puff of smoke left behind practically dissolves into air. He teleports the two to Kurt’s own room before releasing the speedster.
��You will keep what you know, only between us,” Kurt insisted but Peter was already nodding. “Don’t worry your secret’s safe with me. I actually wanna help you.”
“You want to help me?” Peter nodded again and Kurt couldn’t stop a scoff from escaping past his lips, “because you’re so good at this type of stuff?” Kurt added, tone more sarcastic than positive.
“Hey at least I can talk to ‘em.”
He’s got a point there.
Despite everything in Kurt telling him not to take Peter’s advice he still hung his head in defeat. “Alright, I will accept your help…but what do you get out of this all?”
It was hard for Kurt to believe that Peter was doing this out of the good of his heart, but Peter shrugged. “Bored,” is all he said before clapping his hands together, “okay let’s get started.”
Kurt should’ve known better than to trust Peter. He taught him strange things that he guaranteed would “woo” anybody’s heart and although it all seemed unlikely, Kurt took each and every one of his advice to heart.
The strange way of talking, the attitude that he should carry, all of it he took in until Peter deemed the blue mutant ready.
It wasn’t until the next day while you were seated in a corner of a busy room that the plan went into action.
You were clearly occupied with your head buried in a graphic novel but your attention got deterred when a body sat directly across from you.
Eyes leaving the pages, you were met with a set of bright yellow eyes taking you by surprise, but you quickly collected yourself.
“Oh hey Kurt,” You were trying your best to conceal your surprise at the sight of the man in front of you, especially since typically it seemed like the boy did his best to avoid you, “what’s up?” You asked, setting your book down in your lap but with your thumb holding your place.
Kurt could already feel himself wanting to duck underneath his shoulders and disappear from your view but he fought every urge to do that.
Fighting his instincts he slumped his shoulders down and leaned back trying his best to look what could possibly be perceived as cool. And in that position he let out a line he’d practiced in the mirror the night before, “something must be wrong with my eyes because I can’t take them off of you.”
Your mouth forms a little oh shape as your eyes widen and your eyebrows lift. Kurt obviously can see how shocked you are by his words and he himself could feel his body getting ready to prepare for the cringe he was beginning to feel, but he pushed through and delivered another line, “hey, you’re pretty and I’m cute. Together we’d be pretty cute.”
Oh God, your expression told him all he needed to know about that one. He instantly regretted that one.
Your face contorted from confused to surprised then half amused before you started cracking up.
You were laughing.
You were laughing at him right to his face.
Kurt pushed his teeth together before muttering, “I’m sorry,” he was about to disappear as it seemed that was the only thing he was good at, but you rested a hand on his shoulder stopping him from doing so.
Once you controlled yourself you let out, “I’m sorry, you think I’m pretty?”
His whole demeanor flipped, his shoulders leaned up, his arms suddenly were in his lap as he brought his hands together in the middle.
He knew he said those words but it felt so strange hearing you repeat the line when he technically hadn’t even confessed his feelings yet.
At Kurt’s silence that’s when you spoke up, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean anything by…that,” you said, referencing to your more than little laugh session, “it was all just…unexpected. This,” you waved a hand in the air motioning towards whatever that display was, “just doesn’t seem like you at all, are you okay?”
He felt the air in his throat hitch as he began to panic about what to say next, should he just confess now? Peter didn’t cover this. Should he just relay back to the things Peter had taught him? But with all this thinking he couldn’t come up with something fast enough and instead finally let out a breath.
“It’s not me.”
“Yeah I know,” you chuckled.
He finally seems to relax for the first time since your interaction began and his eyes drift down to your book still in hand.
“What are you reading there?” he asks and your eyes follow where he was looking. “Oh this? It’s just a murder mystery.”
“How is it? Do you like it?”
“Yeah I love murder mysteries, I love when there’s a twist ending but I also love when it ends in a real cliche way. I’ve actually read this one before but the movie for it just came out so I’m rereading it before going to watch it later this week.”
“I’ve actually read that book before too, it’s pretty good.”
“Right?”
“I didn’t know there was a film for it,” Kurt truly meant nothing by that statement, if anything it was more just a way to continue the conversation with you.
“Yeah…did you want to watch it together?”
There was nothing on earth that could’ve predicted this moment for him. He truly had to take a moment, and when he finally came to he just nodded, shock still written on his face. You mirrored his nodding with a smile, “great, it can be a date.”
“A date?”
“Yeah, and you can continue telling me how pretty I am.”
Again he seemed to still be in a daze, “yeah…wait what?”
With that you packed your things and stood up from your spot, “okay I have to head somewhere now but we’ll make plans later, but um, I’ll see you later?”
He blinked a couple times coming out of the trance you seemed to put him under, “yeah.”
“I’ll see you,” you added, taking steps backwards as you exited the room.
“See you.”
“Okay—sorry,” you said to the chair you had accidentally bumped into while you were walking backwards and with that you gave a last wave before finally turning around.
As soon as you left the room in came Peter who surprisingly actually wasn’t listening.
“How’d that go? Did you make your move?”
“…yeah,” Kurt responded eyes stuck to where you last waved to him.
“Did you get a date?”
“Yeah.”
“Is that the only word you know right now?”
“Yeah.”
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