#out of fear or dread of my parents anymore.

[magnoliamyrrh]

.

[indycar-series]

vent in the tags

[writing-fanics]

static lullaby

Alastor x Reader

[summary: you were having trouble sleeping and a certain radio demons decided to help]

[warning: mentions of parents arguing: mentions of death: maybe alastor is ooc did my best]

[a/n: you’re like a fennec fox not small but your ears are big also did i do good?]

You whimpered, curling up under the covers. Your ears drooped over the side of your head, as thunder roared outside. Causing you to yelp, as you hid underneath the covers. Of course, the forecast called for heavy acid rain with of course, a thunderstorm.

You yelped, peeking your head out from under the covers. Coming face to face with Alastor, your eyes widened in shock. You didn’t hear him enter your room, you were sure you looked your door.

A loud strike of green lightning, cause you to help. Hiding back underneath the covers, leaving shaking mass. Alastor smiled, raising his an eyebrow with intrigue. “Afraid of lighting are we?” He asked, a hint of static to his voice.

You hummed in response, slowly peeking your head from the covers. “I-I don’t like loud noises,” You mumbled, your ears drooped at your side.

He looked at your curiously, is signature grin plastered on his face. His head slightly tilted, the fear in your eyes told him plenty. You remembered, everything about when you died the loud noises, your parents arguing. A loud bang.

You yelped, hiding underneath the covers once again. Alastor couldn’t help but chuckle softly. You felt embarrassed, causing your cheeks to turn red. “It’s quite alright my dear,” said Alastor, causing you to peek your head up from underneath the covers. He sat on the edge of your bed, and gave you a pat on the head.

You yawned, rubbing your eyes just wanting to sleep. “I just wanna sleep but the thunder is so loud.” You mumbled,looking at the radio demon.

“Such, dreadful weather preventing my dear Y/n from getting their rest.” He said, your cheeks turning a slight tint of red. You hid the lower half of your face, underneath the covers.

“C-Can you maybe stay till I fall asleep, a-and can you maybe sing to me?” You asked sheepishly, fiddling with your fingers.

“Why, but of course.” He said, and allowed you to rest your head on his lap, he started him which sounded of static. You smiled, as immediately your eyes grew heavy. You were shocked, that Alastor was letting you rest your head in his lap. You thought he’d recoil from your touch. But he didn’t.

Your eyes slowly becoming heavier and heavier by the second, the sound of static soothing almost like a lullaby. your mother used to hum to you when you were a child. you let out a soft yawn, before completely succumbing to sleep.

If he could control the weather he would, just so that the lightning and thunder clouds. Wouldn’t bother you anymore.

You were quite the entertaining individual to Alastor. You were new to the Hazbin Hotel, hoping for a chance to reunite with your younger brother. Which was all Alastor knew, your backstory a mister. The reason of why such a sweet and kind individual, ended up in such a cruel place.

He hummed, ‘You’re Never Fully Dress Without a Smile’ a faint smile grew across your lips. As you fell further into a dreamless sleep.

As well taking further interests of the infamous Radio Demon.

[a/n: did did I do good? I hope it doesn’t feel rushed.. or forced if needed I can make more parts to show their previous interactions]

[bhaalble]

Indulgent as the concept of Gortash mourning Durge is I tend to resist it a little in my own canon. Largely on the back of "Orin told me how she humiliated you". Two things can be true at once: Gortash has a lot of history with and affection for Durge. And Gortash plans to WIN. His plans for the moment need the alliance of Bhaal's Chosen. For the time being: that Chosen is Orin. Its why he works with her without much complaint after Durge vanishes, why he has the line "we agreed not to meddle in each other's affairs" ready to go when Durge asks him why he never looked for them. This is also why I believe he makes beating her a requirement for properly reviving the old alliance (the vows are renewed, but you're not getting any active help from him until you work out succession issues with your sister). He would prefer it be Durge! But he can't afford to publicly move against Orin. In the event that Durge loses he'll be in breach of contract enough that she'll have the go ahead to kill him. He'll hedge his bets rather than risk backing the wrong horse, because he knows too well the consequences of getting on the bad side of Bhaal's champion.

What compels me, though, are the little potential moments of self-betrayal. The flickers of wounded ego when he sees them with their companions, and the smugness when he reveals who they are. Did they really think they knew a thing about you? The poor fools have been wandering around with a lion thinking its a house cat. They don't know what it really means to stick their hand in your jaws and emerge unscathed. No one but him ever truly has.

Nostalgia and some kind of unnnameable complexity when he hears from his sources that you've been busy in the hells. A reminder of where this all started....and his old host dead at your hands. Did you remember, he wonders, the little things he'd let slip about his time in the House of Hope? Was it on your mind when you did your bloody work on Raphael? He wonders what it would have been like to see it. If you would have let him come with if he had known to ask. Hardly your first journey to the hells.

Not his only parental figure you encounter. Its when he realizes you're at his parents (seen through the eyes of his Steel Watch, he can't resist checking in from time to time. He assures himself its to make sure the wheels are still in motion) he feels real dread. He never told you the Flymms were alive, much less tadpoled. But is the prickling he feels fear that you'll uncover something? A childish irritation that you might break his least favorite toys? Or shame that he's not there to soften this revelation for you, that his humiliating origin is known while he can't say a thing to paint over it as inconsequential?

The unexpected pride he feels when you return with Orin's blade. Even addled and physically deteriorated by everything that was done to you these last months, you triumphed. No more looking over his shoulder for Orin's blade.....and, he realizes privately. All those pretty words he's said about a future ruled by the two of you may suddenly not just be words anymore.

Maybe, just maybe, there is something like destiny at work here.

[imtryingbuck]

Seven part two

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky comes from a well respected family, he falls in love with a girl who prefers the simple things in life. Follow their journey through the years.

Word count: 2,948

Warnings: this one’s quite dark. fluff, angst, death, almost dying, being put into care, abuse in the care home, small mention of whipping a child. mentions of nudity of a child (just once and not detailed)

A/N: No description of reader other than she has curly hair.

Masterlist   Series Masterlist

True to their word they let Y/n stay with them til Wednesday, letting her go on that day had filled them with dread.

“You can come back whenever you like, our door is always open to you sweetie” Winnie told her, meaning every word she spoke.

“Okay Miss Winnie”

Bucky had helped her climb over the fence and walked her to their spot, chewing on his lip until it bled a little he couldn’t stop worrying about Bunny.

When she arrived back to her house she was confronted by her father; by then she had grown use to his words and beatings, she knew when to scream and cry - when not too. She learnt that to make her unnecessary punishment easier was to take herself off to her special place that lived secretly and safely inside her head, the one place her father couldn’t hurt her anymore, she smiled with her eyes closed when she saw Bucky, Steve, Winnie and George in her special place waiting for her as her father’s fist slammed into her body over and over again.

Her tiny - in height and weight - body was slowly fading away as she danced along the flowery meadow hand in hand with her Ducky. Steve was sitting on the pillowy grass drawing, Winnie and George were cloud watching. Here in her special place there was fairies, unicorns, big pretty butterflies that she could ride and rainbows taking up residence in the bright blue sky. She had gasped and giggled when she saw the ducks waddling past with bunnies hoping alongside them.

That day however something was different aside from the new addition being Bucky, his parents, Steve, bunnies and ducks being there, there was blue and red lights flashing in the sky. She chose to ignore it as Ducky didn’t seem to pay and attention to it.

Bit by bit her safe place started to fade away, her eyes wide and fearful she tried desperately to keep ahold of Bucky when he too started to fade out. “No no no! Ducky come back!” She cried painfully just as everything she held sacred to her heart turned black.

She woke to blinding lights, fear overtook her whole aching body. A hospital they said, she had been in a coma they told her, when the nice nurse named Tilly told her it meant that she had been in a deep sleep, Y/n just nodded. Trying to speak but her throat hurt badly, Tilly had helped her sit up and drink some water telling her she had to take it slowly. Gently pushing the girls hair out of her face.

Y/n liked her instantly, maybe she’ll be my new friend too she thought to herself.

Doctor after doctor came in and out of the room they was in there to run checks whatever that meant. There was one doctor with bushy eyebrows who had asked Tilly to distract the girl in the bed as he took some blood, she hadn’t batted an eye when there was a sharp scratch from her arm, too engrossed in the story about the boy who stole a golden goose egg from a giant who lived in the clouds that Tilly was telling her about.

“Miss Y/n you have guests, do you want to see them?” Tilly asked softly from the door.

“O-okay”

In walked Winnie and George, Winnie gasped with tears springing to her eyes at the sight of the little girl who had stolen her heart the moment she laid eyes on her. George’s eyes dropped down to the ground, finding it hard to see the damage done to a sweet girl.

That Wednesday she had left the couple argued with one another over letting Y/n go back to the hellish nightmare that was no doubt waiting for her. Arguing back and forth that they should have done something different, Winnie pointing out that George had the money and influence to get Y/n placed into their care.

On Thursday when Bucky came back from over the fence telling them that his Bunny hadn’t showed up, they got a sense that something was wrong. The next day when the newspaper arrived Winnie dropped the cup she had in her hand at the front cover.

‘Local six year old girl attacked by her father is in critical condition’

She knew it was Y/n. Call it a mother’s instinct. But she knew.

Reading further down her heart broke at the words listing the many injuries that Y/n had, she read that the body of Y/n’s mama was found in Mexico on that Tuesday and an autopsy revealed that she had been dead for just over two weeks.

George rushed over to his wife where she stood frozen on the spot, a broken cup by her feet he called out her name and all she did was show him the newspaper. He held it within an iron grip as his hands shook. He blamed himself.

Even with George’s money and the power he held they wasn’t allowed to see her, he tried bribing the boss of the hospital who kept refusing, tried bribing the nurses and doctors but they too refused. They was told they had to wait to see if she would wake up for them to see her.

“Oh my sweet sweet angel” Winnie whimpered moving closer to the girl.

“M-Miss Winnie” even with a swollen face and bottom lip having several stitches she smiled widely at the woman, showing four more missing teeth. “Where’s Ducky?”

“Ducky’s at home sweetie, he-he doesn’t know your in the hospital darling”

“Why?”

“W-we haven’t told him yet. But we can bring him tomorrow if you’d like?”

“Yes! I miss him”

“He misses you too, a-are you comfortable darling?”

“I’m okay. Hi Mr George”

“Hello sweetheart, here we got you a present”

Pulling out a teddy shaped as a duck out of the bag the couple smiled as her face lit up.

“Ducky! It’s Ducky Winnie”

“It is, he’s super soft too”

George places the duck in Y/n’s good arm she instantly brought it closer to her chest. “Thank you so so so so much.”

“You’re welcome darling” George says sitting down in the chair next to the bed.

Visiting hours had ended so the pair had to leave her they waited until she was asleep, gripping the duck tightly as she slept.

Telling Bucky that Y/n was in the hospital was a difficult conversation Winnie had to have, his tears soaked her dress as he clung onto her. They promised him that he could have the day off from his schooling so that he could spend the day with Y/n.

That night he slept in their bed.

Bucky ran through the hallways of the busy hospital, his hand gripping the different coloured strings dangling from the many balloons he made George buy.

“Buck slow down!”

“No! Hurry up”

In the elevator he wouldn’t stop bouncing up and down. He was the first one awake, gotten himself dressed and brushed his teeth long before his parents started to wake. George tried to tell him that the visiting hours didn’t start till ten which then set the chorus of why’s being thrown at him. Bucky watched the clock like a hawk and the second the hand struck ten he was dragging his parents to the door.

“Bucky we have to talk before we go in”

“Why? I want to see Bunny”

“Son, she has serious injuries and her face is very swollen, you need to be very careful with her okay”

“Okay dad. I promise, can we go in now?”

George nodded and let Bucky open the door carelessly dragging the balloons behind him, his feet faltered a little. Winnie and George slipped into the room behind him their eyes going from their son to Y/n who was fast asleep in the bed that made her look even tinier.

“Bunny” he whispered letting the balloons float up to the ceiling. “Ma…is-is-is she gone like granddad John?”

“No, no sweetie she’s just asleep” John being her father in law who drank himself to his grave when Bucky was five years old, Margret - George’s mother - thought it was important to make James see his grandfather laying in the hospital bed just after he had died. Winnie was against the idea and so was George but Margret always got her own way.

“She’s still pretty to me” he whispers again, he was afraid to speak any louder.

“She is, isn’t she” agreeing with her son “why don’t you go and sit next to her? It’s okay I promise”

“I-I don’t want to hurt her momma” Winnie had to grip ahold of George’s hand as he called her that, it was something he always called her but stopped shortly after seeing the body of his dead grandfather. One of the many things that Winnie blamed Margret for.

“Son you won’t hurt her I promise” George says, giving Bucky an encouraging nod when he looks up at him.

Bucky slowly walks over and sits in the chair next to the bed, his hand shakily lifts over the railing and takes its place in hers.

They’d been sitting there for over half an hour when Y/n started to stir, opening her eyes she slowly adjusted to the bright lights of the room, she felt a hand in hers and she looked over.

“D-Ducky!”

“Hi Bunny”

“You are here”

“I’m here.”

“Look Ducky it’s Ducky” she says trying to show Bucky the teddy his parents had gotten her.

“Hi Ducky. Bunny look-“ asking his father to get the bunny balloon he had to have as soon as he saw it “-it’s Bunny”

“Just like me!” She giggled.

“Just like you.” Bucky agreed.

Over the next few days Bucky and his parents even bringing Steve with them - who had brought a teddy bear of his own for her - visited her. When they arrived to the hospital Bucky and Steve taking off running to her room Winnie and George saw the two boys pacing up and down the hallway.

“Boys? What’s wrong?”

“Ma we can’t find Bunny”

“What do you mean her rooms righ-“

She cuts herself off when she looks into the empty room that Y/n had been staying in.

“G-George…”

George runs to the other end of the corridor where the nurses station was, Winnie had to physically grab hold of the boys in order to get them to stop pacing.

When George returned he looked at Winnie and shook his head “S-she was taken into care this morning-“

“But she hasn’t recovered”

“They don’t care Win, she’s poor-“

“Rich, poor it doesn’t matter she’s a child!” Winnie takes the boys hands in hers and started to drag them away, when Tilly called her name she stopped and look over to the woman.

“Yes?”

“Here, they wouldn’t let her take them with her” Tilly hands over the brown teddy bear named Bear that Steve had given Y/n and the duck she had named Ducky Junior.

“Sit still and don’t move!” Snarled Kristen one of the women who worked in the care home where Y/n was taken too.

“I-I need wee wee” she whimpered.

“Do I look like I give a shit? No.”

Ever since she was brought here she’s been so lost and confused, she thought that when the hospital room door came open it was going to be Bucky and Steve just like they promised the day before but instead there was a man and a woman who didn’t look nice, she looked over at Tilly who smiled sadly at her.

Y/n didn’t like Kristen or her friend Karen at all, they were mean and hurt her. Karen had made her take her clothes off and her panties and made her stand in the middle of the room whilst the older boys stared at her. Whenever Y/n was really nervous she would accidentally wee herself, when she was at home with her father she received a beating, it was no different to being here. She had received ten lashes across her back. All the other children flinched at her cries.

She was safer at home.

Day in and day out she took beatings from the workers and sometimes the other children, she tried so hard to escape to her special place but it was just a dark void now.

Day after day she got skinnier and skinnier, her hair was matted and her skin was filthy. Every night as she slept on the cold wooden flooring she would whisper out ‘good night Ducky’.

One of the older boys had tormented her by laughing at how her father had killed her mother and had kept her body in the boot of his car for two weeks.

“No no no no no no you’re ly-ly-lying!”

“Am not! He was going to kill you too”

“Ma-mama not dead”

“Yes she is! I’m not lying!”

“M-m-my mama not dead!” She repeated over and over again as she rocked herself back and forth in the corner, her knees pulled to her chest with her hands over her ears blocking out the laughter from the other children.

A man wearing a fancy black suit came into the room she was told to wait in by Kristen, he sat down across the table from her and didn’t say anything for nearly 20 minutes.

“Is your name Y/n?” He receives a quick nod. “Do you know a boy called Bucky?” That has her looking up at the man, nodding once again.

“What does he call you?” Sighing he looks around the room and leans closer “it’s okay to speak, I promise”

“B-Bunny”

“And what do you call him?”

“Ducky”

He stands up and removes his coat before making his way around the table “stand up for me darling. I’m not going to hurt you, I’m a friend of George’s”

She stands up slowly, flinching when he puts his coat around her. “We’re going to play at little game okay? I’m going to pick you up and you need to put your head right here-“ he taps the space between his neck and shoulder “and your going to count quietly to a hundred”

“I-I only know up to ten s-s-sir”

“That’s okay, you can count to ten, ten times”

“O-okay”

“Come here darling, it’s all going to be okay I promise”

He lifts her up easily and her head goes to where he had pointed too, when he told her to start counting she did so.

Oblivious to all the men in the hallways pointing guns to the staff.

“You’re doing great darling” the man cooed into her ear. “Let’s go boys” he says, his tone much different from how he spoke to her.

The man got into a car shifting her so that she was sat on his lap, he nodded to the driver and the car started to pull away from the building of horror.

“I’m Howard Stark, it’s very nice to meet you”

The car slowly pulled up to a familiar house, Y/n looked at Howard with wide eyes smiling when he smiled at her.

“There’s a very excited boy waiting for you” he says watching her eyes shine.

“D-Ducky?”

“Yes, he’s missed you”

“I’ve missed him”

As the car comes to a halt the front door comes open, Y/n releases a small sob as she sees her Ducky come running out.

“Bunny!”

Howard opens the car door and helps the girl out just as her feet hit the ground she takes off running towards Bucky, who wastes no time in grabbing ahold of her and pulls her into his chest.

“My Bunny…”

George, Winnie and Howard stand together watching the reunion. Winnie cries freely as she sees the little girl, George tries to keep it together.

“Are you hurt Bunny?”

“N-n-no”

“Don’t lie to me Bun”

“I never lie Ducky” she giggles at his facial expression. Bucky cupped her face gently in his hands, slowly brought his head closer to hers and rested his forehead against hers.

“Y/n…” Winnie calls as soon as the pair pull away from each other. “Oh my sweet girl”

“M-Miss Winnie” she beams, looking at Bucky who nods and removes himself from her, Y/n took off running once again but this time directly into Winnie’s arms.

“My sweet angel I’ve missed you”

“I’ve missed you too”

No one notices George going inside just to return a few minutes later “Y/n” he says softly catching her attention and shes quick to pull out of Winnie’s arms and throwing herself at George who catches her easily. “How are you darling?”

“Happy Mr George”

“I’m happy too. Here these have missed you” he holds out Ducky Junior and Bear who are both instantly snatched from his hands and brought to her chest as she squeezes them, squealing with happiness that she has them back.

Winnie took her time in cleaning the many open wounds that littered Y/n’s small frame, placing kisses to her forehead every time she flinched.

Her heart broke when Y/n had told her what had happened and what that boy had told her about her mama, Winnie held her tightly when she confessed that Y/n’s mama was an angel up in heaven.

After dinner was made - where Bucky took Y/n’s plate and piled so much food onto it, he held her hand under the dining table. They let Bucky sleep in the bed with Y/n - not like they had any choice - the adults went into the living room and sat in silence when a throat was cleared.

“I would like to adopt her”

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[eleanor-bradstreet]

Touch: The Following Autumn (Benedict Bridgerton x Reader)

Benedict Bridgerton x fem!Reader Rated/warning: 18+, whump, depiction of difficult childbirth Word Count: 2.4k

Masterpost Previous part Next part

Summary: Benedict holds you through the birth of your first child.

Benedict’s grasp is the only thing keeping you hanging on. The only thing you are trying to focus on as the rest of your body feels like it is being ripped apart. You have never known so much pain, such bone-deep, gnawing pain, and that it has gone on for eighteen hours is incomprehensible. But you are still conscious, and you are still fighting, because he needs you to. Because they both need you to.

He sits at your bedside, your hands clasped together so tightly for so long, they have both gone white and you can’t feel your fingers anymore. That is the least of your concerns as another contraction surges through you and you groan, worn too tired to scream anymore. You lean into your husband, your free hand clinging to him wherever you can grasp - his hair, his neck, the sleeve of his shirt. You claw at him as you fight for a shuddering inhale, the wave of pain feeling as if it can drown you.

He presses his lips to your forehead, his face desperately tired and pale too. “My darling,” he whispers. “Oh my love.” He has run out of the energy or creativity to say anything more. Not that he needs to. You just need to feel him close by.

“Mrs. Bridgerton,” the surgeon looks up from the sheet spread across your knees. “You must continue to push.” His voice is stern, but there is an undercurrent of sympathy. No one in this room thinks you are weak. They have all been with you, watching you suffer for nearly an entire day. 

You nod limply, trying to find your breath as Benedict smooths your hair back from your sweaty face with his free hand. On the opposite side of the bed, Violet leans in with a cool cloth and presses it to your neck. They are the only family members with you. Your parents were waylaid by bad weather on their return from the Continent, and will miss the birth of their first grandchild.

You just want to fall apart. You want to sink back into the pillows and grant yourself some rest. You felt your strength give out hours ago, but somehow you are still here, trembling, pushing with whatever mild response your muscles will give you, to help your child into the world. The fear is growing that they may be stillborn. Your water broke so long ago and they have been stuck in your body. But you refuse to give into despair, and you swear you can still feel them, straining within you, doing their part to break free. 

Now the surgeon is telling you to push. You don’t know what energy you are supposed to push with. There is none left in your body, none at all. The only place you can feel it is in Benedict’s hands, numb though your fingers are. There is strength in him, strength in your love, strength in your desire to meet your child. You will have to draw on that. It is all you have. 

Gritting your teeth and leaning into Benedict’s shoulder, you grate out a scream and try to channel everything you feel from him, down to your baby. It’s piercing, the ache you feel along your legs, down your spine, and all through your hips. You feel as if your bones are made of blades. You push with your body and your soul, anything you can offer, and collapse back against the pillows, breathing hard.

“Another,” The dreadful command from the foot of the bed makes you whimper. 

Dear god, you can’t. Your shoulders start to shake with tiny sobs that produce no tears. Benedict leans over you, never releasing your hand, caressing your forehead.

“I can’t,” you gasp, “Ben…I’m sorry…I can’t.” 

The fear in his eyes is palpable. His face is haggard, shadowed with stubble. He swallows hard, searching your face, desperately questing for what to say. 

Violet squeezes your arm beside you and you turn to look at her, now more grateful than ever that she is here. She is the only one who can truly understand what you are feeling. Her eyes are glistening with tears but burning with resolve simultaneously. 

“Y/n, dearest, you must let your mind go.” You stare back at her, confused. She presses on, her voice tight. “The pain exists only in your mind. Your body is always strong enough to do what it must. It is only your mind that is struggling.” Her words sink in, somehow making sense. She nods at you in encouragement. “Wait for the next contraction, and let your body push, but your mind must go.”

You give her the barest nod, your breath growing shallow, then turn back to look at Benedict above you. If there is anywhere that you can lose yourself, it’s into his silvery eyes, even though they are now filled with panic. 

He heard his mother. Intuitively, he knows what you are trying to do. He holds the side of your face, slender fingers framing your ear, and lowers to rest his forehead against yours. 

“Y/n,” he breathes. “Do you remember the snowstorm two years ago?” 

You lock into his eyes, trying to transport yourself back into memories, to leave your body behind you to work without your mind’s interference. You nod slightly against him, breathing hard and shallow through your nose.

“You were the reason I didn’t finish that damn landscape.” A small grin tugs at his lips. “I was going outside to paint but then I saw you with my family, having as much fun as the children. You were so beautiful, so carefree and strong. I had to get to know you. So I abandoned the painting and joined in.”

Your mind is beginning to float back. Entranced with the kaleidoscope of his irises, you remembered that cold day, the sting of the snow against your exposed wrists, the squeals of laughter from everyone involved.

“It turned out to be the right decision because the next day you walked straight into my arms in front of my easel.” 

You would grin at his cheekiness, but even your face has grown sore at this point.

“And from then on, you made me fall deeper and deeper. The whole season in London, I could barely breathe around you.” 

Light dances in his eyes, the same way it had when he would laugh with you on a promenade, or slip you a flute of champagne with a wink. 

“All I wanted was to be close to you. To hold you in my arms. I wanted it badly enough that I forced myself to dance with you. It was the only way I could feel you without causing a scandal.”

You remember the night of the Cowper ball, the heat and insistence of his grasp. You never allowed yourself to hope that it was desire, or that it was love. But it had been. He had loved you as long as you had loved him. A warm buoyancy starts to grow in your exhausted chest. You are always moved by the depth of your husband’s affection, but to hear him narrate your love story as he experienced it, is overwhelmingly beautiful.

He continues, his words whispering across your face. “Then once I had held you, I knew I needed to hold you for the rest of my life. I knew I had to marry you.”

You feel the familiar, horrible clench of pain start to notch up your spine; another contraction heaving its way through your body. A strangled noise rises from the back of your throat and Benedict releases your hand at last, bringing both of his to grip your shoulders. You cling back to him, scrabbling to clutch his arms, breathing faster.

Violet is beside you both, offering soothing words of encouragement, but they are lost to your ears. You try to do as she said, to separate your mind from your body, and stay lost in Benedict’s eyes. He keeps his face above yours, never pulling away, as you feel your body start to bear down and arc against the pillows.

“Y/n,” He raises his voice, commanding your attention. “I will always be here to hold you. Darling, you are not alone in this.”

You can feel the pain, gripping and searing, but fight to concentrate on Benedict and nothing else. The warm light in your chest continues to grow, becoming a gauzy barrier between your thoughts and the agony of your muscles. Staring into his eyes, their grey fractals envelop you, and you feel yourself start to push.

You must do this. You want to do this. Whatever it takes to bring your child into the world, to make Benedict a father and see his face light with a smile once more. Everything in your body rushes downward and you dig your fingers into his arms but he never wavers. You can’t help from shouting behind your gnashing teeth, keening against him. Then there is a shift, and pressure. Immense, weighted pressure builds at your center, knocking you breathless.

“The head is out!” The surgeon calls excitedly from below. 

Benedict breaks your gaze to look back at him, then turns to you with eyes full of hope. Now the end is in sight.

“One more, Mrs. Bridgerton.” The surgeon instructs. “Last one.”

You’re not sure if your lungs work anymore. Your body feels completely beyond your control. The pressure is so intense, dark spots threaten the edges of your vision and you blink to keep from swooning. Benedict must sense this, because he takes your face in both of his hands and calls to you, gently but insistently.

“My love, she is nearly here. Our baby. Just one more and we will finally hold her.” There is an urgency in his voice, a blend of concern and excitement. “You must push, my love. Not because I am asking you to, but because she is ready to join the world.”

You look up at him, your eyes glazed as you pant desperately. His own eyes are brimming with tears. He is longing for a daughter, convinced that your baby would be a girl from the very day you told him you were with child. You had insisted it would be a boy, more to toy with him than anything else, and in a moment, one of you will be proven victorious. But only if you can muster yourself for one last attempt.

The energy in the room has changed. There is a buzz of joy threatening to erupt from under the agony of your extended labor. The warmth in your chest surges. Benedict says not to push for his sake, but you are going to. It is your love for him that is the source of all your strength. You wrap your arms around his neck and lock your eyes on his once more. There, you see your past, your future, your very soul reflected back at you. You remember every glance, every kiss, every display of passion that has filled your life with such bliss over the past two years. His large hands, steady on either side of your face, burn into your skin with memories of every touch, every time your fingers brushed, or clasped, or entwined, every time you held or were held.

The warmth in your chest has grown as intense as the pressure in your hips, and you go rigid, straining your whole body to will it downward, eyes clenching shut and mouth open in a silent scream as you pour every last ounce of yourself into the effort. All you can hear is the blood in your ears, and all you can feel is the press of your husband’s hands as the rest of your body becomes nothing but pressure. You worry you may burst, or slip into the darkness at the edge of your mind.

But then there is release. The pressure gives way and everything moves and the air comes rushing back into your lungs. Everyone is talking, exclaiming, but your mind is too fuzzy to make out what they are saying. Then you hear it - a cry. Strong and loud, your baby’s cry calls you back to your senses and you open your eyes.

Above you, Benedict is weeping and he falls into you, clutching you against him as he laughs into your neck, then peppers your face with kisses. A wave of euphoria casts over you, despite the weariness of your body, and you smile, raking your fingers through his hair. Everything is moving quickly. You hear Violet praising you nearby. The baby’s cry continues somewhere in the room. 

Then a nursemaid approaches and lays a small bundle into your arms with a smile. “It is a girl.”

Benedict nearly cackles with joy. Suddenly, you are alert and aware, arms filled with all the strength they need to hold your child and never let go. Benedict nestles in beside you on the bed, lifting you to sit up in his arms. The fussy cries sound from the little blanket as you both peer in and see a round-cheeked, red little face under a shock of matted dark hair, squirming with clenched fists and scrunched eyes. Benedict reaches out and runs a slender finger through the wispy hair, and she falls quiet. Then her grey eyes open, focusing on you both and assessing you curiously. 

She is her father’s daughter, a Bridgerton through and through. Violet perches beside the bed, blinking away happy tears. You smile at her, appreciating how she was able to do this so many times, including bringing Benedict into the world. You want to repay her for such a gift, and you know that you will take Benedict’s suggestion and name your daughter after her.

You turn back to your baby, watching Benedict caress her tiny pink fingers with two of his own. You can already see that he is desperately in love, and you know that you are in for the best kind of trouble. You have never felt such happiness, such contentment, as you do in this moment. You lean into him, beaming smiles on both of your faces.

You are encapsulated in warmth, marveling at how his arms encircle and bind you all together; you, your husband, and the life you have created out of pure love. Your family, your entire world, kept safe within his hold.

Tagging: @angels17324 @bridgertontess @mysticwitchcraftco

[manias-wordcount]

Um, is playing with howls hair ok?

When You Don't Have to Think (Howl Jenkins Pendragon x Reader)

𝗔/𝗡: 𝗶 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝗮 𝗯𝗶𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗳𝘂𝗻 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗼 𝗶 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗲𝗻𝗷𝗼𝘆 𝗵𝗲𝗵𝗲 :)

𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚? ⇒ 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

𝙟𝙤𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙧?

𝙗𝙪𝙮 𝙢𝙚 𝙖 𝙘𝙤𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙚?

You used to think the castle was such a wild and untamed thing. You used to think Wizard Howl was a terrifying and ruthless man. You used to think the world was a dark and cruel place. You used to think a lot of things.

  You still do think though. You still let your thoughts wander. You let your imagination roam free. Off its leash and ready to get the two of you in more trouble than what it’s worth. But you can’t help it. You grew up on newspapers and whispers. Shelters and rumors. Militarization and fears. Your friends would tell you about one thing. One thing so scary and so frightening, you would rush home and tell your parents about the awful, dreadful news you just heard. There might have been tears. There might have been shallow breaths. They might have been shadows of the worst beasts, lurking just out of your sight as you recant what you heard to your parents. And oftentimes, they would tell you not to worry. That you’ll be fine. That you’ll be safe. But they wouldn’t tell you that your fears are unfounded. They wouldn’t tell you that your worries couldn’t come true.

  You used to think a lot of things. And you still think too. But now…

  “You’re falling asleep, my love. Are you sure you don’t want to lay down properly?”

  …you can afford the moments where not a single thought crosses your mind. Not a single one.

  “Mmm,” You let out a hum at Howl's question, but you opt not to answer it just quite yet. Your tongue has grown clumsy in your sleepy mood. Your fingers have grown quite busy with the task at hand. And your mind moves just a little slowly at his words- just barely registering the individual sounds in favor of listening to the heavenly voice that accompanies them. You didn’t realize it then, but a small smile slips on your face. A happy one. A content one. A smile that causes the kind look on Howl’s face to grow even more pleased as he looks up at you with beautiful, bright blue eyes. You smile back once more. Just a little wider. Just a little more teeth. A sight worth falling in love with. One he did many, many moons ago. “Mmm…”

  You let out a yawn.

  How many times have you yawned in the last minute? How many, you wonder. You can’t think of the answer. You can’t think of a lot of things. But you’re okay with that. You’re okay with Howl. And Howl is more than okay with you.

  Though at your yawn, he let out a bit of a dramatic sigh. A soft sigh that brushes passes through pretty lips. A soft sigh that brushes against your own skin. But you know deep down in your heart, he’s not as exasperated as he pretends to be. And how could he be in a moment such as this one? For he’s the one who pulled you on top of him as laid down on a couch in his private study. He’s the one who wrapped his arms around your waist and held you tight when you asked if he wanted you to move. And he’s the one who asked if you could tangle your fingers in his hair. Twirling shapes from long strands as the two share little more than a few words between the hours shared.

The moments when you realize you don’t have to think anymore. 

  At least for a little while.

  But now the sunlight that streams in from the semi-closed blinds no longer belongs to the mid-afternoon sun. No, this is the light of a sun that paints the room orange and bathes the two of you in a bright and warm-colored glow. It twists and turns and flutters away with every single creaky step the castle takes forward. But no matter what, it never leaves you. Not until it’s forced. So for now, it does everything in its power to stay. It does everything in its power for you.

It swaddles you in its comforting grasp. It’s calling your name- lulling you to sleep with every second that passes. And it fights Howl for the privilege of being the one that gets to kiss you goodnight. But you all know who’s going to win. You don’t even have to think to get this answer. You know you just know. 

  But your desire to keep playing with his hair is strong. Almost as strong as his adoring gaze. Almost as strong as arms around your waist. Almost as strong as his love for you. But you still find the strength inside you to keep your eyes open as you bring your pointer finger to his bangs and let it wrap around. And maybe your eyes start to droop as your hands cup up to cup his face in the gentlest of grips. At this point, it’s fair to say that it’s getting harder and harder to recover from your every blink. But you fight for the chance to tangle your fingers into his silky and let the strands fall from your hand one more time. And then one more time after that.

  Was that another yawn? Hmm, it was. Your eyes are feeling heavier than usual, aren’t they? You suppose it wouldn’t hurt to close your eyes and rest your head on his chest for a couple of seconds, right? You suppose you would think something like that. If only you could think in this moment. If only you could think.

  But isn’t it strange? Because you used to think a lot of things. You used to think the castle was such a wild and untamed thing. You used to think Wizard Howl was a terrifying and ruthless man. You used to think the world was a dark and cruel place. You used to think a lot of things. And sometimes, you still do think. You still think of all your fears. Of all the rumors. Of all the whispers. And you think of so much more.

  But that’s why you long for these moments. That’s why you live for these moments. The moments where you can just exist. The moments where you can just smile. The moments where you can just sleep. 

  The moments he gives you. The moments when you realize you don’t have to think anymore. 

  “Rest your eyes, my dear. I’ll be here when you wake.”

  At least, for a little while. A little, little while. 

[lizzaneia-elizalde]

okaaaaaaay i think im now madly obsessed w yan player amor so what if barista reader noticed and slowly became uncomfortable w his uncannily nice advances and overly big tips and all that knowing he has quite the reputation? but i think that the gods also shot an arrow into my heart as i read abt yan player >< <33

Yandere! Male! Player x gn! Barista! Reader part 2

An order of Amor coming right up!

"He's here again."

One of your coworkers nudged your side, smirking at your deadpan face. "Aw, what's the face for? Aren't you happy that you got such an icon pursuing you?"

You want to gag.

Amor has been going here, everyday. Drinking the same coffee, eating the same cake. It's been like that to the point that you'll prepare the order beforehand.

He always come to the cafe at 7:30 in the morning, walk up to you and with that dumb smile on his handsome face, he would say "Hello darling. One order of caramel machiatto and a slice of red velvet please." And you would hand the order immediately just to minimize interaction.

But he would stay at the counter just to smile creepily at you.

It doesn't help that your coworker would gush about how lucky you are, how amazing it is to have THE Amor fawning over you.

But guess what, you didn't care. You wanted out.

And you made sure Amor knew about it.

You ignored him, always adamantly returning his ever so generous tips, and shooting him down whenever you had the chances.

On the other hand, Amor is getting quite... Pissed.

Why aren't you falling for him?

He made sure to wish for every person to fall for him in his next life, which is this current life. So why aren't you fawning over him? Even the god of love doesn't have an answer at all.

It was infuriating.

You were so close. So painfully near to his grasp but so far. You were like an unreachable dream to someone so selfish as him. Like a punishment for being so over himself.

But, he's the Amor. He gets what he wants.

So, begging to his family, throwing a quite embarrassing tantrum, he managed to...

"MOM! DAD!" You yelled at your parents as they stopped arguing. The dark circles below their eyes were a signal that something's wrong. Terribly wrong.

They looked at each other before your mother gave a pointed look at your dad.

"Do not tell them." Your mother seethed, but your dad groaned.

"They deserve to know!"

"But they don't live here anymore! They don't have anything to do with our debts!"

Debts? Your parents had debts?

You looked at them incredulously, not believing at what they're talking about right now. Your parents were pious, they never, ever had debts and always were good people. So what's with debts? And why haven't they paid it yet?

"Dad, mom, debts? You guys made sure to pay them always if you did get debts or favors or whatever." You raised your hands in disbelief. You had a bad feeling about this.

"It's just that, we somehow got debted to the Kim's." Your dad said, worried.

"Kim's?" You asked. "There's too many Kim's! Which?!"

Your gut feeling made you remember a certain playboy.

"You know, that Kpop idol Taejoon Kim. With his wife the miss Universe Alyssa Kim? Their son... Amor Kim."

Your eyes widened, a feeling of dread creeping up your back and making you shiver from the sudden chill. No way, right?

"How did you even get debted to them?" Your voice carried a humorless laugh that seeped out a bit of fear. Your parents looked at each other before your mom sighed.

"I work in that fancy hotel, right?" Your mother grimaced. "I apparently broke their pipeline? I swear I was only in the pipe system to investigate the rat problem but I bumped into a faulty pipe and now the whole hotel is flooded... That hotel was owned by Mrs. Kim..."

Your father fidgeted on the spot also, looking away.

"The company I work at, had this pipe system too, and as their main cleaning manager I manage the waterline. I thought I could fix the problem by myself... Ended up flooding the building also... Owned by Mr. Kim."

You shivered from the weird coincidence. Both pipelines? Really? How did that even happen?

"So? Both of you are going to pay for it?" You asked with a slight grit on your voice and they nodded.

They looked so defeated, it broke your heart into tiny smithereens. The anger flared up for Amor once more.

"Those rich people..." You seethed.

"It was our fault dear." Your mother cooed, hugging your frame. "I... I wasn't careful enough."

"Me too. I should have called for an expert." Your father frowned sadly.

You never felt so helpless in your entire life. If only there was a way to help them.

"How can I help..?"

This time, your parents froze and they coughed loudly, looking away.

Another bout of the twisted gut, you looked at them with worry in your eyes. "What is it?"

"I-it's nothing, dear." Your mother whispered, avoiding eye contact. "We will find a solution ourself."

"No! If I can help then I will!" You stepped up to them. Your body moving in order to meet their evasive eyes. "Please! Look at me! What is it?"

"Ah..." Your father looked at your mother before whispering something to your ear.

"No."

Goosebumps riddled your body as you froze from the sudden shock going through your form. "Marriage?! What is this?! The 17th century?!"

Your parents looked at each other before shrugging. "It's really weird, dear. There's so many other chaebols out there who's more rich than us. But why you? We're not rich at all."

The whole situation was so fishy.

And a flash of that lovesick look Amor slips through sometimes came up on your mind.

You're too smart for your own good.

You knew it was due to him.

You had enough.

You can't just let your parents suffer like this.

So, with a heavy heart and a defeated look, you held their hands and hugged them both. "Thank you for taking care of me for my whole life, mom and dad."

A loving whisper, and a touch affectionate, your parents knew of your plan. And they paled.

"No! Dear, this is not your burden to carry!" Your father shakily let out. "You... You have so much to live for!"

"Look at the bright side, dad! I will be... Uh, rich! We will be!" You reasoned, trying, scouring for the bright side to this situation. "It's okay dad. Rather than being homeless trying to find money to pay for such a huge debt. I would take this road for the both of you."

Your mother started to weep, and you inwardly died.

You can't believe Amor would stoop this low.

You don't even know him that well.

And as you, in an elaborate and extravagant wedding garment, reach your hand towards the extended ones of Amor, with that triumphant and obsessive look that you abhor, you cursed him inwardly.

You never stood a chance.

The gods are on his side after all.

You are now his, fully.

Now it's up to you if you want to make his life miserable, or melt into his arms.

[hobies-princealbert]

Im tryna have Fontaine kids...give this man a baby I swea he'll love his kids like m leaning more towards girl dad like I feel it in my nuggets

Toodles~ rey rey 💛

dad! fontaine has been haunting my subconscious for weeks now ｡ﾟ(ﾟ＾Д＾ﾟ)ﾟ｡ and he would be a girl dad

dad! fontaine hcs | (very sfw)

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎♡▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎♡▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎♡▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎♡▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎♡▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎♡▪︎

♡ had no idea how to be a father. he never planned to be one in the first place. he didn't hate kids he was just indifference to most of them, expect junebug. plus he has a fear of fatherhood, since his dad was never in the picture. plus his lifestyle didn't reflect dad of the year. so becoming a father was the last thing on his mind.

♡ but when you sat on his couch that night and bawled your eyes out, after you told him you were pregnant. it was like his whole world stopped for a minute. he was rethinking everything he ever thought about parenthood, and he didn't know how to feel.

"you wanna keep it baby?" he finally broke the silence that surrounded the two of you.

you tried to answer but all that came out were sobs and hiccups. he could tell you hadn't come to terms with it either. so he decided it was just best to comfort you for now, and discuss later.

it's okay. he'll stay no matter what you decided, he's not going anywhere. And he always kept his word, stayed with you through everything.

♡ the day you went into labor, it was like a completely different side of taine came out. he was nervous, his hands were shaking and his eyes reflected how panicked he really was.

♡ he and the doctors went back and forth at times. some threats were thrown, and mama's were brought up. but he knew he had control himself, cause if he was scared, you would be too. "where the fuck is that damn epidural man. she's in fucking pain, get your head out yo ass". (thank god he left his strap at home).

♡ the man was riddening with fear and guilt. he told you how sorry he was that you had to go through this, he hated seeing you in pain.

♡ but once it was over. all those feelings left, and were replaced with happiness (and a little fear). he was happy that you gave him a beautiful baby girl. but dreaded the idea that he would fail as a dad.

♡ but no matter how scared he was, he vowed that no matter what, he would always be there for his girls.

♡ he'll stay up with you every night that the baby cried. whether it was a diaper change or a breast feed, he was up with you. If the baby wanted to be fed, he'll let you lean back on him. sometimes he'll hold her for you and just keep you propped up.

♡ would make sure to tell anyone who wanted to see or touch the baby that, "you ain' touchin' her or her momma with cho' dirty ass hands. an' if you smoking, put tha' shi' out before i do for you". He's a little overprotective ok.

♡ just picture his infamous cadillac driving through the glen blasting baby shark. and he would be bumping his head to it too.

♡ always had the baby near him. either she was cradled in his arms, or his makeshift baby sling. he watched a bunch of tutorials on how to make them. in all honesty, he didn't wanna put her down, he couldn't stand being away from, her for too long.

♡ he read so many parenting book during your pregnancy that he now quotes them daily when you catch him doing some dumb shit your baby.

"taine, why are you staring down my baby like that?"

"that nigga dr. holding say tha' doin' this builds a bond. and that nigga got a phd on this, so it gotta be a lil tru' "

"taine, baby?"

"yea, ma?"

"put my baby down"

♡ chronically attached at this point. and I bet you know what was her first word. if you need anymore hints, it cost you twenty bucks and your dignity.

♡ he cried the day she began walking. cause in his words, "she's practically gonna be in college next year and leaving her daddy for a bum nigga". dramatic much.

♡ is her designated stylist. buys any accessories she wants. simply holds them up, let's her pick and swipes the card. will wear a bow in his hair if she asked him to. the most gangsta baby daddy you've ever seen. "what you never seen a real ass nigga in a pinkie pie pattern bow before. fuckin punk"

♡ is her biggest hype man too. loves to hype both y'all up. tells her she's the prettiest princess with the prettiest mommy in the whole world.

♡ the same way he loves to help you do your hair, he loveeeess doing her hair too. will spend an hour getting the best colour bead pattern that matchs her outfit. spends his time making at home hair masks cause the ones in the store have too much chemicals for his angel. and also makes it his mission to get the perfect swoop angle on her edges. and best believe, they have matching bonnets.

♡ him and that damn baby conspire against you all the time. they will have inside jokes about you. even a secret language built around them practically shit talking you sometimes. After nine damn months, this is how she treats you three years later.

♡ it was hell to convince him to go on a date night or anything that involves leaving your daughter for more than 10 minutes. if you do, he'll make sure to prep everything his little angel could ever need while he's gone. and checks in every five minutes, and a hair strand turns gray everytime the phone rings.

♡ if you just so happen to forget to mention that you called over slick and yo-yo to watch his kid. that man will practically be losing hair follicles the whole night. cause he don't want to have to bust a cap in slick's fake fur salvation army coat.

♡ and if you think that's bad imagine her first day of school. the man spent weeks dreading this reality. almost bursted into tears at the orientation. his heart wrenched when she walked to class by herself, without even giving him a hug. yall were in that parking lot for an hour as you reassured him, she still loves her papa bear. "she still loves him, she's just excited to make new friends. No taine, you can't be her only friend."

♡ what can he say he loves his little girl.

[pizzapottah]

young love

summary: the youngest malfoy meets the famous harry potter, not knowing that he'll be a big, big part of her life one day.

pairing: harry j. potter x malfoy!reader (no use of y/n)

word count: 4.2k

warnings: some depiction of health problems, mention of premature birth, mention of being underweight, overbearing parents (?) let me know if i missed anything!

author's note: hii! this is the first ever fanfic i post on this site, so, please be kind. english is not my first language (tell me if i missed any mistakes!) so constructive criticism is accepted and greatly appreciated! i thought of this as the first part of a series that i have in mind, so, enjoy <3

ps: yes, i changed draco's birthday for the plot. no regrets.

when you met harry potter for the first time, it obviously was on platform 9¾.

you had always been quite a weak child. born on the 1st of august 1980 after a gruesome labor and almost a month before the due date, always the smallest amongst your friends and family, often used to miss occasions and such because of your poor health. constantly coddled by your parents - more likely, your mother - who for your whole childhood dreaded the day they would have had to send you to hogwarts. 

when the day came, they both had already made peace with it. as a witch and as a malfoy, you had to go to hogwarts - or else, what might other people think? said lucius, when narcissa tried convincing him of hiring a tutor at the manor to teach at home for at least the first years. 

against all the odds, you were happy about going to hogwarts. it would have meant not having the prying gazes of your parents on you all the time, being free from all the house-elves constantly watching to ensure you didn’t faint or hurt yourself while trying to do things other children did without a struggle - and, last but not least, hopefully not being a victim of your brothers protectiveness anymore. 

draco malfoy - your older brother, born not even a year before you on the 5th of september - was a precocious child, but not the kind you were. while you were born early and always ended up being the last, he seemed to be ages ahead of you and all of his peers. he had a malice that you hadn’t quite matured yet - obviously inherited by your dear father - and was able to have a pretty mean way with words. sometimes, you feared that one day, all the sly remarks and insults that he reserved for the people that he despised would be directed to you. more often than not, he was straight up cruel rather than mean. 

but still, he was your brother, and you loved him. hogwarts probably would become the place where he could finally forget about his poor, sick sister that always slowed him down. 

so, when not even ten minutes after your parents left your kitten disappeared, you wanted to bury yourself from embarrassment. nibbles had never been the easiest cat, hating the carrier almost as much as she hated everyone but you, and it was certainly not the first time she managed to escape her cage. 

you wanted to sit down and cry. you hadn't even arrived at hogwarts yet and everything was already going downhill. you were running up and down the platform, searching for your cat, probably looking crazy while you screamed her name. draco was surely already on the train, and you didn’t want to bother him as he was probably with all his friends. 

as you ran, you slammed against a boy whom you didn’t even see - he just came out from nowhere, you swore, but still… 

‘i am so, so sorry…’ the boy was on the ground, just like you, but had a slower reaction and you managed to get up first. seeing a pair of glasses - now broken glasses - on the floor, you immediately gave them back to him, babbling a string of apologies while helping him to get back up. you kept a hold on his hand while rambling, ‘i am really sorry for your glasses, i didn’t mean to break them, i shouldn’t have been running around-’ the screech of the hogwarts express made you yelp, making you enter an even worse panic - where the hell are you, nibbles? - “i am so sorry, but have you seen my cat? her name is nibbles, she’s about this big, with grey and white fur - she’s a birman, her snout is all brown - she probably hisses at anyone who tries to approach - please, please, tell me that you’ve seen her!’

the boy was all skin and bones, wearing clothes that were clearly too big for him, with untamed locks of black hair on his head - he probably hadn’t brushed them since forever - and two big green eyes that just stared back at you. he looked at you speechless, like he never fell on the ground in his whole life and he was happy that you knocked him out. you still held his hand, waiting for an answer. ‘...so?’

‘excuse me, dear,’ a kind voice echoed. ‘is this the cat you’re searching for?’

removing your attention from the boy, you looked at the woman who spoke - a red-haired, chubby and oh-so-kindly looking woman - who was pointing to a red-haired man. he held nibbles at arm’s length, with his face covered in scratches, while behind him three boys that were clearly their sons were laughing, holding back their tears when the birman tried to scratch him again and then hissed. 

‘nibbles!’ you screeched, immediately running up to the man to grab your cat, apologizing profusely, not even knowing what to say. ‘i am so, so, so sor-’

the woman and her husband waved you off with a gentle smile. ‘don’t worry, dear, you better go now, or you won’t find a place to sit! first year, am i right? still not enough friends to keep a cabin occupied.’ 

you just nodded, thanking them again, and ran to the hogwarts express. thankfully, all your belongings had already been placed there by the house-elves that accompanied you and your family to the platform, and you could count on daphne and theodore to save you a seat. when you finally managed to sit down, you were out of breath and probably your hair looked like a mess, but at least nibbles didn’t become a stray. when they looked at you, your friends bursted out laughing, only stopping when nibbles launched at theo and tried to bite off his nose. 

the rest of the day was pretty normal - well, as normal as the first day at a school like hoghwarts can be - but when you met that skinny boy - the one with green eyes and too-big clothes - you didn’t realize that you missed a big (vital, almost) detail about him. 

the lightning-shaped scar on his forehead. 

harry potter was sure he was dreaming. 

while he watched you run away with your cat in your arms to get on the train, his mouth fell open. he was certain he had never seen a girl as pretty as you, and he was also sure that yours was probably the first sincere apology he had ever heard since… well, since he could remember. it had nothing to do with dudley’s mockery sorrys, and it surely wasn’t a forced apology like the ones he had heard when he was at school. she was really sorry. probably he should’ve been mad that you broke his glasses, but at least, he had proof that you actually existed and he wasn't hallucinating. 

‘are you alright, dear? i know that all of this probably looks unbelievable for you.’ mrs weasley placed a hand on his shoulder, looking at him with a kind of worry that he imagined only a mother could show. 

harry looked at his hand - the one you held. ‘i think it’s the first time in my whole life that a girl has held my hand and has talked to me willingly.’ near them, the twins and ron bursted out laughing again.

and that same evening, when the sorting of the houses begins and harry sees you go up to the seat when another malfoy is called and ron is sprouting poison in his ear about your family and your whole lineage, he silently hopes that you get put in gryffindor - where he’s just been sorted. 

obviously, as destiny has its strange ways, it doesn’t happen. and after a minute or two of uncertainty, the talking hat places you where draco has just been sorted to. and between the claps and the cheering of the students, you go and sit next to your brother - on the slytherin table.

the second time you met harry potter - and the time you actually consider as the first time meeting him, despite him always arguing that in fact, it was not  - it was already january and five months had passed since your first encounter. you stood by the window of the library, watching your friends play in the snow, without you. 

when you and draco came back home for christmas, you first caught a cold, followed almost immediately by a high fever. the mediwizard said it probably was because of the weather, and your weak build just reacted badly to it. he recommended you to not get too exposed to the cold for the foreseeable future, and to always stay covered up. it was clear that your parents had taken that seriously.

so, now, no matter how much you beg professor snape, he won’t let you go out. your parents have been strict about this matter, miss malfoy, he said. and i can’t let an all-O student get sick, now, can i? who will answer my questions in class?

hermione granger, you had wanted to say, but didn’t. snape’s distaste for her, or any other gryffindor for that matter, was clear and plain. you were sick of always being kept behind a glass like some fragile object - people get sick, so what? during your time at hogwarts, your health got better. for the first time ever in your life, you felt like you were really healthy, as you finally gained some pounds and were no longer underweight. also, your skin took on a lively color, leaving behind your usually pale and sick incarnate. you were starting to suspect that malfoy manor was the problem. maybe it was cursed. 

though, draco never had any health problem. he could go out and play - but instead, as any other saturday, he probably was in his room, sleeping, or in the slytherin common room, talking with his friends about all the presents their parents got him for christmas.

and as you were commiserating yourself by the window, you didn’t notice a certain green-eyed boy looking at you. 

harry thought that he was wasting a saturday by spending it at the library, trying to understand snape’s assignments, but that was until he saw you. when he first noticed, he tried to not give it much thought. he just hoped that your brother wasn’t there with you. 

but as time went on, draco was nowhere to be seen. and you just stood there, propped up by the window, looking like the saddest person he’d ever seen. harry was conflicted - he knew you weren’t like your brother, or even like most of the slytherins. you always helped neville during potions, trying to alleviate snape’s hate against him, even when the professor said to him to stop slowing you down. you often offered to hermione to confront your assignments before turning them in, creating a strange friendship based on the purpose of getting the highest score possible together. you never took part in your brother’s bullying, and hermione described you as the sweetest person she ever met. ‘she always wants to apologize,’ she said once. ‘for her brother and his friends, i mean, but i don’t let her. it’s not her fault that her brother is such an imbecile.’ 

‘oh, yes,’ replied ron, skeptical. ‘kindness, a typical malfoy trait, am i right? hermione, she’s brainwashing you.’

they argued back and forth, until harry intervened. ‘i met her, once,’ he mumbled. ‘she’s nice.’

‘oh, you mean when she knocked you out on platform 9¾?’ snorted the weasley. ‘don’t be so stupid, harry, she was just searching for her ugly cat. she probably didn’t even care that you fell. besides, the scratches it gave to my dad’s face tormented him for days. he said that some of them even left a scar.’

harry frowned. ‘she apologized a hundred times - and you were laughing while her cat scratched your dad’s face!’

‘yeah, because i didn’t know it was malfoy’s cat and it would have left scars!’

‘right now, you’re being just like malfoy,’ seethed hermione, getting up from her seat. ‘judgy and full of prejudice. did you know what she said about you, and your family? she said that your parents were really nice to her and that she hopes to meet them again to thank them properly. she says that the twins’ pranks are hilarious, and that she wants to be prefect like percy one day. and she proposed to me many times to let you study with us, so that your grades could get better with our help. and do you know why i said no, ron?’ she glared at him, making him shiver. ‘because i knew you hated her, even if she never did anything to you.’ after that, she took her leave, leaving behind a red-faced ron and a really embarassed harry. 

remembering the conversations they had, harry looked at you, and thought that in the small time he had known her, hermione was almost always right - even if sometimes he didn’t want to admit it. and gathering all the courage that he had, he got up from his seat and approached you. 

‘hi,’ he said. you turned around to look at him, and gave him a smile. ‘oh, harry,’ you said. in the last few months, he visibly gained a few pounds too - that was a nice thing, you thought, because you knew from hermione that his aunt and uncle barely fed him, and you remembered how skinny he was at the platform. it seemed like hogwarts was treating the both of you well. ‘hi.’ you darted your eyes from him to the table where he was sitting, seeing the homework sprawled out on the surface. ‘were you doing snape’s assignments?’

harry scratched his neck nervously. ‘well, yes, but it’s not like i was really succeeding.’ 

you laughed lightly - a sound that made his cheeks red. ‘yeah, snape’s homework is not made for actually succeeding, really. you just have to pass.’

harry looked out of the window, frowning at the sight of your friends playing in the snow. ‘why don’t you go with them? it’s surely more fun than staying here alone. i’m here because i have to, i mean, but hermione told me you and her finished the assignment yesterday.’

you grimaced. ‘i was sick during the holidays, thus my parents don’t want me going out, now, and they even told snape, who makes sure that i actually stay in the castle. so, i’m stuck here. i like the library, so it doesn’t really matter.’ it actually does matter, you wanted to say, but you were sure that harry couldn’t care less about your problems. instead, he made a face. ‘what? can he actually do that?’ he wouldn't know, he doesn’t have parents that care about him - in the rare times where he fell ill, the dursleys barely even gave him any medicine, and always sent him to school, despite the weather.

‘well, i mean, yeah. he’s friends with my dad, and i know he can be really pressuring sometimes.’ you tried to smile at him. ‘do you need help with potions? i’m kinda sick of watching my friends having fun and doing nothing.’

harry didn’t want to bother you - or worse, give another reason to draco to make fun of him. ‘don’t worry, i’ll mana-’ seeing your pout made him stop and relent. after a brief pause, he said: ‘of course you can help me, if you want,’

that was how it started. in the weekends - mostly it was on saturdays - when the library was empty, you would help him with his homework (mainly potions, and you were quite proud of the fact that harry started to get higher scores, even if snape continuously suggested that he was cheating on his tests) and he would keep your mind off of your friends. you didn’t want to hold them back from having fun, so it was okay. 

until one day, harry came to the library late. it was already february, and probably the snow would have melted soon. it wasn’t really snowing anymore, and all the students spent their free time out in the gardens, trying to enjoy the last bits of winter. he was out of breath and had the biggest smile on his face. he said your name, ‘do you wanna go and build a snowman?’

you smiled sadly at him. ‘harry, you know i can’t. but if you want to, you can go. i won’t be mad at you for going without me.’

he shook his head vehemently. ‘no, no,’ he said. ‘i asked, do you wanna go and build a snowman?’

‘well, i mean, i would like to, but-’

‘no “buts”,’ he interrupted you, ‘go and change - wear your coat, put on a hat and other things like that to stay warm. today professor mcgonagall is keeping an eye on the students, so, we just have to bypass snape. let’s see each other in 30 on the second-floor girls’ bathroom.’

you raised an eyebrow at him. ‘why would you want to see me in a girls’ bathroom?’

he blushed. ‘do you trust me, or not?’

so you went and changed into something warmer, putting your ear warmer, a scarf and a pair of gloves in your bag. as you exited the girls’ dormitory and entered the slytherin's common room, you found yourself in front of professor snape, who eyed you suspiciously. 

‘miss malfoy,’ he said. ‘great afternoon, is it? i’ve seen all your friends out in the snow.’

‘oh, yes, professor,’ you squeaked. ‘i’m just going to the library, though. wouldn't want to catch a cold and make my parents worry about my health.’ 

he raised an eyebrow, not really convinced, but let you go easily. ‘don’t forget that professor mcgonagall also knows that you can’t go out in the garden, miss malfoy,’ he said at last. 

you barely even heard him, sprinting to the second floor and making sure you weren’t being followed, immediately entering the bathroom. thankfully, moaning myrtle was nowhere to be seen, but you found harry already there, with a bag of his own and looking pretty nervous. ‘you promise not to tell anyone about this?’

‘now, harry, why would i?’

he opened his bag and took out what was inside. your mouth fell open. ‘is that-?’

‘an invisibility cloak? yes, it is.’

you only ever saw one once, in your grandfathers house, behind a glass in one of his cabinets. he never let you or draco touch it, insisting that it was a "collection object" and it wasn’t made for "children who want to play". you knew they were very expensive and rare, and seeing that harry’s one looked really beautiful, you asked yourself where the hell he got it from. 

‘you ready to finally get a bit cold, malfoy?’

professor mcgonagall was watching the students by the window, enjoying some tea and reading a book, when severus snape slammed the door of her office open, stomping inside. ‘minerva,’ he greeted, all but happy. ‘can you tell me how miss malfoy managed to sneak under our noses and get outside?’

unbothered, she looked out of the window and saw that yes, actually, you were out in the snow, covered well, making a snowman with hermione granger, harry potter, daphne greengrass and theodore nott. ‘i don’t see the problem, severus. she’s enjoying herself and is happy with her friends. it’s the first time i see her smile this wide.’

snape raised an eyebrow. ‘yes, and i suppose, it’s also the first time you see her in the snow. out. in the gardens. where her parents specifically asked to not let her go.’

then minerva suddenly remembered - merlin, she can’t go out in the cold. the five-page letter your parents sent dumbledore where they said that their daughter couldn’t be allowed out there for ‘poor health reasons’ immediately came to her mind, and she paled. 

she got up, leaving her book and tea behind, sprinting down the stairs to get to the gardens, snape close behind her. ‘miss malfoy!’ she yelled once she got there, without even having her coat on. ‘miss malfoy, come here at once!’

she saw your friends pale, and your face fall. the snowman, by then, was almost completed. the professor felt guilty instantly. how many years has it been, since i’ve seen gryffindors and slytherins get along? 

you got up from the snow and sniffled, sad. ‘thanks, guys,’ you said. ‘that was really fun.’ 

with your head low, you went to your teachers, preparing yourself for the scolding you were surely about to get. at least, they waited until you were inside the castle to start. ‘i never thought you capable of this, miss malfoy,’ started snape. ‘putting yourself in danger, going against your parents’ wishes and the mediwizard precautions - do you want to get sick? don’t you think that if you can’t go out, it’s just for your own good-’

‘now, now, severus,’ a voice interrupted. dumbledore, who was going down the stairs and heard the commotion, looked kindly at you. ‘she just wanted to have some fun. it’s been two months from her illness, am i right? she’s taking her medicines and taking care of herself. don’t get mad at her if she wants to play with her friends; she’s a child, and that’s what children do!’

he approached him and looked at you, smiling widely. ‘why don’t you go back to your friends, miss malfoy? i’m sure they’ll be delighted to hear that from now on, you won’t need to sneak in the garden anymore to play with them - you have my permission to go out during free time.’

your eyes sparkled. ‘really, professor?’ he chuckled. ‘really, missy.’

‘albus-’ professor mcgonagall tried to intercede, ‘her parents, they are gonna be furious if they find out about this-’

‘well, they don’t have to know, now, do they?’ he sent a look at snape. ‘and even if they find out, don’t worry, i’ll take full responsibility.’ 

professor snape huffed indignantly, turning in his heel and stomping away. 'unbelievable,’ he grumbled. dumbledore looked at you expectantly. ‘now, what are you waiting for, child? you can go. that beautiful snowman needs to be finished, and it looks clear to me that your friends won't complete it without you.’

you stood up straighter. ‘i, i, thank you, professor!’ you stammered, then ran away, going back to your friends, who were all discussing with each other, asking if they should go and try to help you out or just let it be. when they saw you, they all cheered loudly, asking immediately how it went and how many points the teachers took from slytherin.

‘albus,’ murmured minerva, watching you from the window. ‘don’t you think that it’s a reckless decision? you know that severus is going to tell the malfoys. and, poor her, she’s a weak child, do you remember how lucius malfoy described her illness in that letter?’

dumbledore hummed, deep in thought. ‘that child is in perfect health, minerva.’

she raised an eyebrow. ‘are you suggesting that the malfoys are lying? and for what? to ruin their daughter’s first year? you know how much the malfoys care about their children - they’d never do that to her.’

he shook his head. ‘no, i think the malfoys worry is legitimate. they don’t understand the cause of the problem, though, i fear.’ he looked at the snowman, almost completed, and then at you, who was searching for rocks to make him buttons. ‘children are fragile creatures. you never know how what you say, or what you do, will affect them. i am afraid that the malfoys have always been too overprotective of her, not wanting her to get hurt or sick - but sometimes, the more you fear and try to avoid a thing, the more it happens. children need to play with their friends - need friends -, need to play in the sun, and even fall and get hurt, once in a while. that’s what makes children children, am i right? she’s getting more healthy day by day, and i don’t think i’ve ever seen her smile like that - though i know i’m not around that much, i’m sure you can agree with me. we both know that growing in malfoy manor certainly won’t make anyone a happier child than they already are. draco surely loves that ambient - somewhere where everyone is at his beck and call, where he is revered by the servants and can feel all the wealth of his family - but what happens when one does not see all that, but just sees a too-big gloomy house?’

he quietly chuckled, looking at you and harry. ‘and - would you look at that, minerva! look at harry’s smile.’

she looked and immediately melted, knowing the look on the boys face - the flushed cheeks, the wide pupils, the biggest smile she’d ever seen (that’s not true, she remembered, that's the same smile james potter had when he looked at lily evans) while he talked to you. ‘yes, albus,’ she mumbled, deep in thought. ‘merlin. harry really is the copy of his father, isn’t he?’

dumbledore laughed. ‘ah, first love,’ he said, amused. ‘i just know he’ll remember her for his whole life, even if she ends up not liking him.’

‘a potter and a malfoy,’ mumbled mcgonagall. ‘never thought i’d ever see it in my life. is there anything more surprising than young love?’

the divider is from @saradika-graphics! <3

[talaok]

Could you please write an imagine where Pedro and reader know each other for a very long time and reader comes from a not so happy family (unlike Pedro)

He’s in love with her and she does love him but does believe love is real or that relationships can last (thinking everyone only wants her for her body from past flings) and can’t give him a chance due to fear

Happy ending if you want

Thanks

warnings: angst, and brief talk about reader's bad childhood

a/n: im starting to honestly think yall should start writing fics, cause the shit you come up with is so good like

The first time you told him you were 13.

You had showed up at his doorsteps asking for a place to sleep.

You couldn't stand another minute of hearing your parents scream at each other two doors down.

They hadn't even noticed you were gone, they never did.

He was your only real friend at the time, and after a sort of awkward moment with his parents, he'd led you to his room and asked what had happened.

And that's the first time he heard the sentence he'd grow to hate.

"Love isn't real. It never lasts"

Your parents were the proof. Love is a trap, it deceives you into thinking you can spend your life with someone, when really, all you're doing is locking yourself into a cage, and when you finally realize what you've done, it will be too late, because then you'll be scared to get out, to start new, and that's why you'll stay, forever imprisoned because your own stupid choices.

From then on, it became your mantra.

With every guy who disappeared after having gotten you into bed, with every guy who dumped you as soon as they'd seen what's underneath your clothes, one sentence engraved itself in your mind.

Love isn't real. Love isn't real. Love isn't real.

And that's why, he, of all people, knew better than anyone why he shouldn't tell you, why he should continue pretending like he'd been doing for almost twenty years,

Maybe he was a masochist, or maybe his feelings were getting too strong and they had started to fog his brain, but he couldn't hold it in anymore, he'd kept it hidden for too long, and no matter how many women he'd meet there was always you in the back of his mind.

It had always been you.

And that's why tonight... tonight he had finally let go.

"Y/n, I love you" 

He saw you freeze before his eyes, shocked and terrified of the words that had just come out of his mouth.

"I'm sorry" he murmured, swiping his sweaty hands on his jeans and looking around your living room to try and gather some composure. "I'm sorry to drop this on you like this. I know how you feel about the whole... love thing" he winced internally as his eyes set anywhere but on yours "And- and I don't want to ruin our friendship, and it's ok if you don't feel the same way, but..." He swallowed what felt like sand in his mouth as he finally looked into your eyes "Y/n I've felt this way for so fucking long" he breathed "I-I think I was too young to understand it when we met, but as we grew up it just became clearer and clearer and... and I couldn't do it anymore, I couldn't keep it to myself anymore y/n, I'm sorry"

His words felt distant, muffled.

You felt like you were drowning and he was trying to talk to you from above the water.

He'd just told you the three words you dreaded most in the world, and now you didn't know what to do, or say, or even think.

And it wasn't the same as when any of your old boyfriends had said it, no, with him, with Pedro, those words scared you because they meant so much more, 

because they reached into that deep, hidden part of you that... that felt the same way.

And that part of you was hidden for a reason, that part of you was the only thing that prevented you from becoming like your mom, from falling into the trap.

And now he'd just handed you the keys, and all you needed to do was decide to open the lock.

And you didn't know if you wanted to.

"I don't want to lose you y/n, the last thing I want is to lose you, you- you're the most important person in my life, I-I'd be lost without you, so if you don't feel the same way, it's fine, I promise it's fine, I can take it, but before you say anything I just want you to know that when I say I love you I mean it," Both your hearts were beating faster than they'd ever beaten before"I mean I love every single part of you, every single inch, that I love you when you sing off-tune and I love you when you call me in the middle of the night" he laughed "That- that I wake up and go to sleep thinking of you- that without you I wouldn't know how to breathe, that since I met you, I felt the need to become a better person so that maybe I'd deserve you." he said more softly now "And I'm sorry about your parents, and I'm sorry about everything that happened in your life, but I promise you that I'd never do anything to hurt you, that if you just give me a chance, I'll try my hardest to prove to you that love is real, that- that it can last if you just give it a try"

The soft roar of an engine made its way to your ears as a car drove by outside, the fabric of the couch felt itchy all of a sudden, and your breathing had become uneven.

You didn't know how long you both stayed silent, how long it took you to take in all he had just said, but when you finally opened your mouth, your voice didn't sound like your own.

"Pedro-" his eyes were filled with hope, but yours only with pain "Pedro you know how I feel about this" you murmured, like doctors did just as they delivered bad news "I'm sorry I- I can't do this, you know I can't... I just-" there was this feeling in your stomach, like all your organs were twisting, like your body was telling you you were making a mistake "I don't want to lose you, and I know that if we did... this, it would only end badly" you watched all the hope in his eyes crumble and you didn't think you'd ever hated yourself more than in that exact moment.

"I'm sorry Pedro," you said "I can't"

He didn't look like himself anymore, he didn't feel like it either. He felt as if all the life had left his body, and all that remained was a useless sack of skin.

But still, still, he couldn't help but realize that you hadn't said one thing, the one thing that was gonna make him give up forever.

"So you don't feel the same way?"

It wasn't tears threatening to spill from your eyes, it was liquid pain, liquid hatred for yourself.

"T-that doesn't matter"

He frowned, trying to come up with something to say that wouldn't make him sound any more pathetic than he already was.

"B-but it does y/n. it does"

You swallowed thickly "Pedro, please" you begged

"I need to know," he said with a thread of voice 

"I-I can't" you murmured, as a tear finally stained your cheek "I..."

He took that as his answer.

You didn't love him, and deep down, he'd always known.

"I think-" he cleared his throat to try and gain some composure, "I think it's best if I go," he said as he stood up.

you didn't know if you nodded, you didn't know anything anymore

He glanced back at you for a moment to see if there was any sign of you wanting to stop him, but your head was down.

both of your hearts broke with each step he took, and as he got farther and farther, this... feeling spread inside your body, this presentiment of having just made the biggest mistake of your life sneaked up your throat and robbed you of all oxygen.

And was only when his fingers grabbed the doorknob, and you grasped his arm, that you could breathe again.

"y/n-" he tried to speak, but you needed to do this before your mind could catch up, so you cut him off.

"I do," you said, as more tears fell from your eyes "I love you, Pedro"

His mind was a mess and his heart was a mess but he still managed to spit out a sentence

"Y/n, if you're saying that just because-"

"Pedro" you softly placed your hands on each side of his head, as you huffed out a silly laugh "Just kiss me"

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

a lil good omens brainrotted update from your mascot

Hello my maggots it's nearly midnight here's how the brainrot's going (spoiler alert, there are no, uh, ripe braincells anymore).

I just spent a rather significant amount of time drawing leaves into my bullet journal (because it's Crowley themed this month).

That whole time I listened to first Crowley's apartment ambience and then to a bunch of Good Omens edits and got extremely emotional about it but in the best way. God I love this show.

Every day (it'S a-GEtTinG clOSeR) I have a stare-off with the Good Omens book that keeps me company on my desk.

It laughs in my face, daring me to read it.

I recall the last time I opened it (to summarise, I read a line about Crowley and burst into tears like the macho guy I am). I refuse.

We are locked in a battle of wills. Who will win, the book or I? I'm torn between wanting to read it so bad and the fear that I will never be emotionally stable again if I do.

Speaking of books, just for vibesies an update on the one I'm writing, I've written 7,200 words in the past six days (when I pulled the WIP out of its musty folder because of that post Neil made).

The page I made in the bullet journal was actually a writing tracker here lemme show y'all because I'm proud of the progress I made:

[Yes, that is the Good Omens book lurking in the top left, it's never far away. The battle is perpetual.]

Crowley quotesssss all the Crowley quotes I love them so much it's insane.

Also, I'm gonna go get yarn to I can continue my endeavour to learn crocheting to make a Crowley-beanie. @singalongpoppet is my guru and leader in this journey. Not sure if I'll manage it, but a guy can dream. Channeling my non-existent cottagecore era.

I am also considering getting a Plant.

Weirdly enough, this is not entirely brainrot, I was supposed to grow a plant back in January because my word thing of the year was Grow (the burden of prophecy is real).

However, I am dreadful at taking care of them, even succulents. I managed to kill a wild cactus that I brought home from a roadside. It survived several months but in the end being around me was too much for it, poor thing.

I assume there is a bit more to plant-parenting than misting them and screaming at them to GROW BETTER, so any advice, please?

End of update, I have no idea how to write conclusions so have a snapshot of the dynamic of Rian and Avi, the characters in the book I'm writing [spoiler alert: their dynamic is dumpster fire].

Love you my maggots have a wonderful brainrotted day xxx

[darkestspring]

Aemma having a daughter and son but only the daughter survives. Viserys keeps her close, refusing to marry her off but when he dies she is trapped in the castle. Aegon has always had an obsession for her but could never act on it. Now that he is King, he can have her and its even better than he imagined, the way she cries and clutches onto him as he fucks her.

You never knew your mother, all you knew was your father. Your mother and twin brother had died, the masters told you, you were the only one to survive, it was a miracle.

A miracle that had made him keep you close, refusing to marry you off or even entertain the idea. You had been raised by your father, sister and stepmother, Alicent.

Your father was a sickly man, the time that wasn't spent with you by his side, you spent it with either your younger half-siblings or your older sister.

You were fond of your sisters, going out of your way to find things they liked. you always had a habit of finding things so easily.

You had adored Aemond. He was a quiet and shy but kind child. You thought it was a little unfair that he didn't have a dragon while everyone else did. You had claimed your dragon at birth, the monstrous cannibal. You renamed him though but you weren't allowed with him at all times. Your parents feared for your safety.

Aegon unnerved you though, he would always stare at you with this particular look in his eyes, only getting worse as he grew up. It made your heart pound with fear.

Fear that only got worse once the news of your father's death had reached you. Your loud violent sobs could be heard for hours as you were locked away by Alicent, who feared for your safety.

She knew that your father was the only thing keep Aegon from acting upon his desires but the moment he was made king, no one could keep him back anymore.

He would bed you, and make you his second wife, like his ancestor.

He would marry for desire, just his ancestor. You were his Rhaenys. His desire.

He had snuck into your locked room as you cried into your pillow, your dress billowing around you.

"My lovely sister, why do you cry?" He cooed at you, sitting next to you as his hand wandered down your back.

"Aegon?" Your voice was hoarse from crying as you looked over at him, tears in your purple eyes that only made his cock harden in his breeches.

Gods, you were so hot. He couldn't hold himself back. He pushed you onto your back, his hand pushing your dress up. You were bare underneath your dress.

You were waiting for him, weren't you?

His mouth watered at the sigh of your pink pussy and he dove down, his tongue connecting with your clit and you let out a shriek, your hand flying down to his hair to push him away.

"No, Aegon, no!" You cried, your legs thrashing until he held them down.

His hands moved up to your waist and he dove in further to eat you out, this was heaven to him. You, pretty, lovely, sweet, kind, you. You had always been the object of his desires but he could never act on them since his father stood in his way.

Instead of sadness or dread from his father's death, he felt elated, happy. Finally, his one obstacle was out of his way. You were ripe and open for the taking.

You were so heavenly as you cried and bucked your hips closer to him.

"Wh-what... No more." You sobbed, your hands curling into his hair as your teary eyes stayed glued to the ceiling. You didn't know what this feeling was. Your stomach was knotting, it was too much. "Brother- Brother no more, please! Please, no more-AH!" You gasped as the knot snapped.

Aegon groaned in appreciation as he drank up all your juices. He pulled away and panted heavily as he grinned up at you. "You finished, my sweet sister. All your pleasures belong to me. Are you ready for more?"

He brought himself up until his hardened cock was level to your sweet, wet pussy.

"Won't fit." You protested, trying to close your legs but his hands moved down to hold them open.

"It will, I'll make it fit. This is the only way for you to leave this locked room. The only way is for you to be mine and marry me."

You looked at him with your teary eyes and he couldn't handle it, he slid into you with one thrust and you let out a cry that only made him want you more.

"You're mine now, sister." Aegon couldn't help his excitement as his hands wandered your silky skin. "Say it."

"I'm-I'm yours." You sobbed, your hands clutched at his shoulders.

"Who do you belong to?"

"I-I-I belong to Aegon." You hiccuped as his hips started to move.

His eyes stayed connected to your bouncing breasts. "King Aegon." He corrected you.

The notion confused you, maybe this was just his wish. "I be-Belong to King Aegon."

Yes, he would marry you for desire, his desire.

[judgementdaysunshine]

Not choosing

Pairing: Rey Mysterio x Daughter reader Dominik Mysterio x Sister reader

Description: After Dominik joins the judgement day you're caught between the two people you love most, your dad and big brother

One minute you had everything anyone would want and the next it was all gone leaving you a mess as Dom ran to you while there were laughs down the hall. "I'm sorry but I can't be in his shadow anymore I love you so much mi hermana menor" you shake with sobs holding onto dom tightly until the rest of Judgement Day were a few feet away watching the interaction before the four ran off leaving a mess hugging your dad tightly then your mom and sister when the two of you got home, you were the youngest out of your siblings first was dom followed by Aalyah four years later then you three years later but even despite the age gap between you and dom the two of you were always attached to the hip even when the two of you got older and his career in wrestling began the two of you remained close always cheering him on ringside or in the crowd and now you weren't allowed to see him despite the tears and pleas to your dad leading to everything slowly taking a toll on you as tensions increased between your dad and brother along with the judgement day. You sneak backstage while your dad was walking to the ring for his match against AJ Styles looking at yourself in the mirror before leaving your dad's locker room you didn't look like yourself at all, you usually looked happy, full of light, always everyone's sunshine when they were down but now you were in an abyss of darkness with purple dark circles under your eyes, skin slightly pale, nonstop dread in the pit of your stomach, body full of endless pain basically willing yourself to walk, anxiety on a constant high always on alert, and depression with a tight hold to where you had developed insomnia and the loss of sleep really added to the disturbed state you were in stopping in front of the judgement day's locker room as the door opened locking eyes with Damian who stops seeing you staring blankly with tears slowly pouring down your face looking up at him backing away slightly but instead of passing you like they did with other people he slowly grabs your arm leading you inside and locking the door where Rhea notices you shaking even while wearing a jacket due to the constant feeling of depression, fear, numbness, dread, anxiety, and pure despair that left you freezing all the time as she wrapped a blanket around you being handed water by Finn who had went and got dom. The tears flowed more and the cold shakes turned to trembling quiet sobs as you stood up being pulled in dom's arms feeling his body shake with sobs as finn opened the door but the other three wrapped their arms around the two of you in a big, warm, tight, and safe hug as rey ran down the hall noticing the sight and stares you in the eyes as you break down having had enough staring at all of them "I'm not choosing between my family and if no one can at least get along for me then I guess I'll have cut everyone off just so I can be okay" dom immediately agrees along with damian who already grew a soft spot for you followed by rhea, rey, and finn being brought into another big hug and slowly things changed for the better and a month later you were back to yourself always visiting the five backstage becoming close with the boys and rhea while spending time with dom and then with your parents and aalyah feeling all the love you thought was gone forever back but in more ways than one.

[ssa-atlas-alvez]

okay but- cowboy!reader having like a lot of scars bc no self preservation y'know. i feel like he'd cover some of them up with tattoos but some are just too delicate. im just imaginin' the team of seeing like a sleeve of them for the first time or maybe he has a lot on his back and everyone just wants to know what they mean and when the heck he got all of them and yeah. also my poor boy you're really runnin him through it

- 🦦

Description: scar reveal

Warnings: scars, abusive backstory

A/n: I know, I kinda feel bad but also there's so much more to come for him and I some of it (if I decide to post it) is really harsh and it will just shatter him bless him but again idk if I'm gonna post it so we'll see aha!

Taglist: @xweirdo101x @xdark-acadamiax @ara-a-bird @heidss @chubbyboyinflannel @pendragon-writes @migwayne @bigolgay @technikerin23 @supercriminalbean @honestlycasualarcade @caffeine-mess @1s3v3n1 @oddmiles @kevyeen @stealing-kneecaps @criminalskies @woodandwaxwings @wizardmon3 @aphroditeslovr @ducks118 @azeal-peal @13thdoctor-run @introvertpan84

You didn't really think about the scars most of the time. Sure, some of the bad ones haunted you at night, or with raised voices, but they weren't bad. Most of them didn't hurt anymore. Some of them did, emotionally, anyway. These ones you got covered with things you loved. The butterfly, for example, sat on your chest, a small Palos Verdes Blue Butterfly for JJ. Big enough to cover a particularly painful scar without drawing attention. Meaningful enough that it made you feel warm inside when you saw it, rather than the dread and fear that used to build up when seeing the scar.

Some, however, you couldn't cover. Most days, you forgot they existed. Others, they were all you could think about.

The bad ones, that is. Not the ones you got from falling out of a tree at the age of seven, or off a horse at sixteen. No. The ones you got when you pissed your foster parents off enough for them to create a permanent reminder.

The ones on your back bothered you. You didn't like that it was a part of your body that everyone but you could see. They would witness some of your worst memories laid out in front of them, some of which you had never even seen.

The ones on your arms were mostly covered, at least the ones on your upper arms and shoulders. They were easy to cover. The forearms you struggled to cover, not that there were many here, that would have been too visible.

Not all of these scars were linked with sadness. Some were happy. Some were from you being reckless (like daring your older brother that you could jump from the treehouse and land on your feet unharmed - you broke your arm. You were seventeen.). Some were from clumsiness growing up (tripping over the corner of a rug when running to watch the football with your brothers). All in all, they told your life story, from the scared little boy to the rebellious teen to the loved young man to the brave man that stood up for those that need it.

So yes, it made you feel vulnerable at times, but most of the time? Most of the time it made you happy to be alive. To be the person you were today.

You knew the team had already seen your tattoos, from a slight distance. They either hadn't seen the scars, or had decided not to ask about them. Either way, you weren't going to complain. You'd tell them or they'd ask eventually.

It was JJ who noticed first, the pair of you sat in the roundtable room, everyone else had gone home. She had gently brushed over a scar on your arm with a curious look. "I got that from trippin' over a rug to watch football," You said, giving a small smile. Her hand moved to one just below it, "Fallin' off a horse," She fingers traced the next scar mid way up your arm, the curious look turning to worry when you tense.

"Does it hurt?" It looked painful, still raised after years.

You shake your head, "Not anymore." You said truthfully, "They used to. Now they're just there, constantly reminding me."

"Except for the ones you cover,"

"Except for the ones I cover." You corrected yourself. Your eyes darted back down to the scar she was tracing. A particularly painful memory. You looked back up, giving a shy smile, "I really do love you, you know."

"I should hope so," She smirked, "We have been dating for over six months now."

"It never gets old, hearing you say that." You answer.

"Good, because I don't plan on stopping any time soon," She winks, gently pressing her lips to yours.

[callsign-magnolia]

Undiagnosed // Ch. 2

Mature Content 18+

Jake Seresin x Neurodivergent OC

Summary: Katie Blair grew up trying to be the perfect daughter. She always struggled to be the prim and proper little girl her parents wanted. Big personality as a kid, but now at 25, she's the shy admiral's daughter who just keeps her head down and tries to get through law school. So what happens when she's had enough and with help from a certain Lieutenant, she gets out.

Warnings: Emotional abuse, one instance of physical abuse, Major Character death, asshole parents, Jake is a jerk to start.

Word Count: 6.0k

Chapter 1 | Masterlist

The week that everyone was gone on the mission was one of the most peaceful I’ve had in a while. At least when I wasn’t at home. In the evenings, my dad spent all his time on the phone. Many of his conversations went on in his office well into the night. I tried not to be nosey, but I couldn’t help myself. I would occasionally stop outside of his office, listening closely to his conversations. Nothing really piqued my interest, until one night. “Maverick went down?” My heart thudded in my chest at his words. “And Rooster followed him and was also shot down?” I felt bile rising in my throat and I turned, rushing upstairs for the bathroom. I managed to through myself over the toilet, just in time to throw up everything in my system. “Why are you throwing up?” My mom huffed as she stopped in the bathroom doorway. Once I was done, I used some toilet paper to wipe my mouth. “Must’ve eaten something bad.” I said as I stood, grabbing my toothbrush off the bathroom counter. “You only eat my food.” I rolled my eyes as I looked down at the sink. “Unless you’ve been eating that awful fast food.” I shook my head. “No, mom.” I groaned out. “I have not been eating fast food.”

She crossed her arms across her chest, narrowing her eyes at me. “You better not be. You have to watch your figure.” She said as she pinched my side. “I’ll be damned if I have a fat daughter. We’d be the laughingstock of society.” She huffed before walking away. Once my mouth was clean, I walked into my room sneering at the thought of my mother. “We’d be the laughingstock of society.” I whispered in a high-pitched voice. “Well fuck society, I don’t really give a damn anymore.” I huffed, slamming myself into my desk chair. Two more funerals coming up now. Tears gathered in my eyes at the very thought. I only saw Maverick the one time, but Bradley. He was nice when I spoke to him, and I hate that this happened. Him and Natasha seemed close, God she’s probably a train wreck right now. I grabbed my phone from next to my textbook, going onto Instagram and searching for her. I scrolled through probably a thousand Natasha’s before typing in Phoenix. Five profiles down was hers. It was set to private so I requested to follow her, knowing it would be a few days before she accepted or declined. I heard my dad coming upstairs, so I tossed my phone in my desk drawer before grabbing my highlighter. He swung my door open, eyeing me cautiously. “You studying?” I nodded, twirling my highlighter before giving him a small smile. “Good.” With that he was gone, and I released the breath I was holding.

Another week later I sat in the rec room again, writing a paper for one of my classes. I was on a roll; my focus hadn’t wavered in hours. Then I heard the voice I dreaded, that ridiculous goofy like laugh that could only be from one person. I redirected my eyes back to my textbook, hoping if I kept my head down, he would ignore me. I glanced up as him and Lieutenant Seresin came in and turned to the vending machine, their backs to me. I looked back down quickly, going back to my paper. But I lost my focus, anxiety taking over, fear that he would come over here and bother me. Every move they made I tuned into it. Soon they sat on the couch, and I relaxed a little. I sat there quietly, attempting to get my focus back to write my paper, and I was lucky for a few minutes. I was so focused I didn’t hear them get up until they sat in front of me. “Damn did I miss you, Kate.” I refused to look at him, keeping my eyes on my paper. “What are you writing?” I didn’t say anything. “Not answering is rude, honey.” I didn’t care, I wasn’t giving him an opening to bother me. I continued to write when my paper was yanked from under my pencil. I just sighed, leaning back in my chair and crossing my arms over his chest. “Let’s see what you’ve written so far.” He smirked, standing with it and reading over it. He stopped and turned to me. “Not gonna try and take it from me?” I shook my head. “Nope.” He raised a brow before leaning onto the table. “Why not?” His face was close to mine, I could feel his breath brushing across my cheeks. “Because I’ll be damned if I give you another apology.”

He chuckled before tossing my paper down in front of me. “Your writing is shit.” I just went back to writing, ignoring him again. His hand darted out and I grabbed my glasses, stopping him. “Oh, come on. Just trying to have a little fun.” I rolled my eyes. “No, you’re acting like a middle school bully.” I retorted and he scoffed. “Now, if you don’t mind, shit writing or not, I still have to turn in this paper tomorrow.” I went back to writing. Neither offered to move so I looked up, waving my hands to shoo them away. “Goodbye.” Coop’s eyebrows shot up, surprised at my sudden bravery. “God you’re a bitch.” Lieutenant Seresin said. “I know.” Coop said as he leaned his hands on the table. “Yeah. I can be a bitch and you know what.” Blood was pumping in my ears as I placed my paper in my textbook, slamming it shut. “You fucking deserve it.” I marched out, getting permission from my father to go home. I blanked out the entire ride home. When I pulled into the driveway I was confused as to how I got there, and safely at that. I shook it off, going inside to finish my paper. Once I did, I fed my fish, realizing their tank needed to be cleaned. “I’ll get you guys all clean tomorrow.” Tomorrow kicked off the weekend, so if I got it done tomorrow, I would have more time to do things I wanted.

The weekend was long, and it consisted of my parents dragging me to all kinds of functions and studying. I didn’t even get to clean my fish tank till Sunday night, which resulted in me getting yelled at. “You should’ve done this before now!” My mothers shrill voice pierced the air. “I didn’t have an opportunity till now.” She widened her eyes, practically stalking towards me. “Are you saying that it’s my fault you’re just now doing this?” I shook my head as I tilted the tank, dumping the water out. “You have dragged me all over town this weekend.” I told her and she gasped. “So typical. Of course, you can’t take responsibility for anything you do.” I had my head down as I sat on the edge of the tub, scrubbing the inside of the fish tank. “Then you come in here and make a mess!” I stopped, sitting up and looking back at her. “It wouldn’t be that messy if I could get a syphon. Then I could even leave my fish in there.” She scowled at me, angry that I spoke back to her. “No! You don’t need anything else for those stupid fish! Why do you still have them anyway? We got them for you when you were nineteen because we thought that maybe you deserved it.” I glared at her. “Because I love them, that’s why.” She laughed at that. “They’re fish! They can’t mean that much to you! Besides, you’re lucky I haven’t made you get rid of them yet.” She said before she stormed off, her heavy footfalls growing quieter as she went into her room. Once I finished the tank, I quickly refilled it and set up their filter before putting them back into the water. “Don’t worry guys. I’m never getting rid of you.” I said before feeding them. I smiled, watching them for a few minutes before crawling in bed, picking up Salem’s Lot to read.

The next day I made my way to base after class like normal. I walked into the front portion of dad’s office seeing Melanie, his secretary, at her desk. “You can go in.” She said in her dull, monotonous tone. I grabbed the handle, swinging the door open like I’ve done every day and was shocked to find nine sets of eyes on me. But the ones that caught me off guard were Bradley and Mavericks. I was shocked to see them standing in front of me after the conversation I heard in dad’s office at home. My eyes shifted around the room before meeting my father’s angry gaze. I gulped, seeing the fire in his eyes. I felt fear creep up my back, but I tried not to show it. “Katie. I’m in the middle of a meeting, why are you in here?” I opened my mouth to reply when Melanie rushed in, a look of panic on her face. “Admiral I am so sorry.” “You’re fired. Get your stuff and get out.” Melanie turned her gaze to me, her glare piercing my cheek, almost as if she was hoping I’d catch on fire or drop dead. I dropped my head, focusing on my heeled feet instead of looking at anyone. “Will you please give me a moment with my daughter? Stand just outside the door and I’ll let you back in in a moment.” Everyone quickly stood, filing out the door. Don’t leave. Don’t leave me in here alone with him. My body was screaming at me to run. My father has always been strict, and I don’t recall many moments when he was kind. But as I stood here against the wall, clean across the room from him, the door closed, and we were alone.

I was shaking violently as I kept my head down. “Get over here.” He spat as he stood up. I quickly stepped closer till his desk separated us, dropping my bag into one of the chairs. “Look at me when I say this.” There was something in his voice. Something that had every alarm in my body going off. Tears streamed down my face as I looked up at him. I’ve never seen him this angry. “If you think, you can ever barge into my office like that again. You have another thing coming. My work puts a roof over your head, puts you through school and keeps those expensive fucking shoes on your feet!” I flinched as he yelled the last bit. “My work is the most important thing in my life. Not your mother and certainly not you. You need to get that through your head, because your life will be a lot easier when you do.” I nodded, pulling on my thumbs as I fought the urge to run. “Yes, sir. Melanie told me-“ I was cut off when something connected with my face, a loud slapping noise filled the room as I fell to the floor, bouncing off one of the chairs. It took a minute for my vision to settle and when it did, I realized my dad had come around his desk, squatting down on front of me. “Get your ass up, right now.” I stumbled my way up off the floor, realizing everything was blurry. “Go study and stay out of my way for the rest of the day.” I nodded, reaching down to grab my silver frames off the floor, sliding them back up my nose as I grabbed my bag. I made it to the door and almost opened it until I realized everyone was just outside of this door. I grabbed the clip holding up my hair and let it fall around my face. “What are you waiting for? Leave!” I jumped, swinging the door open and rushing past everyone.

I rushed into the rec room, thankful for the silence. There was no one in here and I sat at the table, unpacking my books and my laptop. My cheek stung and I’m sure I had a bright red mark on my face. I was grateful my hair was long enough to cover my cheeks, allowing me to hide the growing mark from peering eyes. I quickly got to work on my notes, trying to refine them from class so they would be easier to study. I did that for about an hour until I heard footsteps coming towards the room. My body tensed up, scared of who was going to come through the door. I heard the door swing open and I kept my head down, hoping if I didn’t look up, they would leave me alone. But my wishes were spoiled when someone sat in the chair next to me. “Hey.” A soft voice spoke from next to me. I was surprised, my head snapping up and turning to her. “Hi Natasha.” My voice was quiet, almost scared to speak up. “Are you okay?” I immediately nodded. “Totally fine. Just stressed from school.” She hummed. “No stress at home?” I shook my head, writing more in my notebook. “No, everything’s fine.” She seemed to realize I didn’t want to talk, so she dropped the conversation as Rooster came in. “Hey. I see you found her first.” Rooster said as he sat across from me. “I told you she’d be in here.” She said with a grin. “Yeah yeah.” He winced as he shifted in his seat, my eyes never leaving him. “You okay?” My mouth opened and closed a few times before I finally spoke up. “I thought you and Maverick were dead.” He chuckled slightly. “We all did for a while. But then Maverick pulled a plan out of his ass, and they crash landed back onto the runway.”

I sat back in my chair, crossing my arms over my chest. “I didn’t know you survived. I just knew you went down.” He furrowed his brows. “How’d you know that?” I bit my lip, considering if I should tell them. “You can tell us.” Natasha said, smiling at me. “I um… I was walking past my dad’s office, and I heard him on the phone. It was the phone call he got when you and Maverick went down.” He gave me a small smile. “Well, we’re alive and mostly uninjured.” He chuckled. “We wanted to ask about you.” My heart rate picked up, worrying they knew what happened in the office. “I’m fine.” I insisted but he raised a brow. “Your dad seems… unfair.” I pursed my lips. Unfair isn’t even the word. “He just pushes me because he wants me to do really well in school.” I turned my eyes back to my notes. “How is law school anyway?” He asked, crossing his arms over his chest. “Fine.” His face fell and Phoenix hummed. “So, I saw on your Instagram you have a pretty neat set up for your fish tank.” I looked at her and she had a smile on her face. “You uh-you like it?” She nodded. “It’s really cool. What kind of fish do you have in there?” I pulled out my phone, excited to show her. “So I have two goldfish, a guppy, an angelfish, and a neon tetra.” I said as I pulled up a few photos to show her. “Oh wow. What are their names?” I opened my mouth to answer but stopped. They’re not clever names. They’ll think you’re stupid.

I pushed the thoughts out of my head, not wanting to listen to it. “Katie?” My head snapped to Natasha who was looking at me. “Um, they’re not the greatest names.” I said and she laughed. “I didn’t ask if they were amazing names. I just asked what they were.” She was right. “Um, well the two goldfish are Splish & Splash.” My face burned red as they laughed. “Okay, that one is cute.” I felt a little better at her words. “My guppy’s name is Georgie, the angelfish is Simon, and the tetra is Ripley.” She smiled at the pictures. “Those are some cute names.” I nodded; glad she wasn’t judging me. “So, what made you get fish over a dog or something?” Bradley asked and I shrugged. “My parents got them for me. I wasn’t allowed to have dogs or cats.” Bradley raised a brow. “So, you’ve never had a dog?” I shook my head. “We didn’t have any pets at all until my parents got my fish for me when I was nineteen.” They seemed surprised. “Even I had a cat growing up.” I pursed my lips, nodding. “Do you want some help studying?” Bradley asked, pointing towards my textbooks. “Oh, no. You don’t have to!”

“I offered because I wanted to.” I thought about it for a minute before Natasha nudged me. “Um, sure. That would be great.” He smiled, turning my book towards him and Natasha leaned forward to look at it. They helped me for a while until Lieutenant Seresin walked in. He had that stupid smirk on his face and he kept looking over at us as he got something from the vending machine. My stare locked on the vending machine, the noise of it releasing the snack reminding me that I hadn’t eaten all day. “Katie.” My head snapped back to Natasha, who raised a brow at me. “Why are you staring at him?” She whispered and I shook my head. “I wasn’t.” Bradley wiggled his eyebrows at me, and a blush flooded my cheeks. “I swear. I heard the vending machine go off and I remembered I hadn’t eaten all day.” I turned my attention back down to my notes. “Katie. That’s not good.” Bradley said, leaning on his folded forearms. “I know. I just- I spend so much time studying I forget until Dad and I get home and mom has dinner cooking.” I looked between them as they furrowed their eyebrows at each other. “You seem to study a lot for something you don’t seem so interested in.” Natasha observed. I shrugged my shoulders. “It’s what my parents want, so I don’t really have a choice.”

“If you had it your way, what would you be in school for?” I bit my lip, debating on telling them. But decided that it would be okay. “Nursing. Probably pediatric or oncology nursing.” Something in Bradley’s face shifted. “Those are two very different types of nursing.” I nodded. “But they’re the two specialties that I would want to do if I went into nursing.” Bradley hummed. “The oncology nurses were some of the best when I went with my mom to her appointments.” I was a little caught off guard by his statement. “Oh, um, I’m so sorry Bradley. Did she…” I didn’t know how to properly ask if she died or not. “She didn’t make it. I was seventeen when she died.” I gave him a small smile. “Well let’s get back to work.” Natasha said and I nodded. “Just let me clip my hair out of my face.” I grabbed a claw clip from my bag, twisting my hair and putting it up when there was a gasp next to me. “What the hell happened to your face?” Natasha asked loudly and I quickly remembered what had happened earlier. “Oh I uh, fell this morning on the stair case and hit my cheek on the banister.” I tossed in a little chuckle to play it off. “Banisters don’t have fingerprints, Katie.”

Bradley seemed mad. They both did, but I couldn’t let this get out of hand. “It’s not a big deal. I was out of line.” I said as I grabbed my pencil, when suddenly a much larger hand gripped mine. “You’re saying your dad did that to you?” Bradley asked menacingly. “I-“ “Is that what he did when we had to leave his office?” Natasha’s eyes were so wide, I thought they would fall out of her head. “No! No! My dad would never! No!” I immediately got defensive, and I knew it. They both narrowed their eyes at me in suspicion. “God! Can y’all shut up?” The voice came from the obnoxious blonde lounging on the couch across the room. “Shut the fuck up, Hangman. This doesn’t concern you.” Bradley snapped and only received a chuckle. “Come on, Rooster. She sounds like a cat in a woodchipper, I can’t stand it.” I took a deep breath. See, no matter what you do, you’re annoying. No wonder you didn’t make friends in college. “What the fuck is your problem with her?” Bradley yelled as he stood up. Lieutenant Seresin stood as well. “My problem?” He stalked closer, eyeing Bradley closely. “She’s entitled. Thinks she can do whatever she wants around here. I’d tell you you’re wasting your time with her, but you wouldn’t listen anyway. She’s just mad that daddy knocked her down a peg.” Bradley moved fast, grabbed Lieutenant Seresin by the collar of his flight suit. “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

“Oh, don’t I?” His eyes shifted to me, then back to Bradley. “Punching Coop? Barging into our meeting with the Commander-” Bradley reared his fist back and Natasha and I jumped up. We both grabbed Bradley and I grabbed the elbow of the arm he pulled back. “He’s not worth it!” He tried to pull away from me, but I kept a hold of him. “Bradley!” I yelled, hoping he would stop, but he didn’t until a booming voice interrupted us. “What the hell is going on here?” We all froze but I quickly let go of Bradley, folding my hands behind my back. “Commander Blair, sir.” Bradley addressed. “Lieutenant Seresin was saying some rude things about your daughter.” His face was stone solid as he said it and my eyes flashed to my dad who glared at me before pinching the bridge of his nose. “Katie. Get over here.” Dad demanded. I took a deep breath, trying to stop the shaking before I slowly took steps towards him. Once I got close enough, he pulled me out int the hallway and slammed the rec room door closed. “You listen, and you listen well. I’m tired of you causing problems between my men. Either shut your mouth and stay away from them or you’re barred from base, and you will only go to school and home.” I nodded in understanding, and he stared at me for a moment before he reached around my head, and yanked my claw clip out of my hair. “AH!” I yelled out as he pulled, taking some of my hair with it. “Keep your hair down. You can see the mark on your cheek.” I nodded as he slammed my clip into my waiting hand. “Now you go back in there and you don’t say a word to anyone.” I nodded. “Yes, sir.”

He opened the door back up and I walked in, keeping my head down. I blew past everyone, back to my seat. “See! Once again, she’s pouting because she got in trouble! God, she acts like a child.” I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore as I set the hair covered clip onto the table and pulled my book back over to me. “What happened?” Bradley asked as he sat across from me. I held my breath to keep the sobs at bay as more tears fell. “Katie.” I didn’t look at him, I didn’t speak to him, anything. “You don’t have to listen to him.” I wish that were true. I may be twenty-five, but I had no way out. “This is fucking ridiculous.” He said as he stood from the chair, slamming it back into the table and making me jump. I heard a sigh next to me as Natasha leaned her hands on the table. “You don’t have to go through this, Katie.” She said as she slid me a small piece of paper. Once she walked away, I glanced over at it, seeing a phone number with her name above it. Once she was out of the room, I subtly grabbed the paper, slipping it into a page in my textbook so that no one would find it. Lieutenant Seresin sat on the couch again, scrolling through his phone as I continued my work, staying quiet. But when he got up, he stopped in the doorway. “God. Coop was right about you.” Once he walked out and slammed the door behind him, I let the sobs out.

I wasn’t sure how long I cried for, but once I got home Dad told Mom what happened, and I got another earful. I didn’t have the energy to fight back so I just sat at the dinner table, listening to how disrespectful I was, how awful of a daughter I am, how I can’t do anything right. By the time I made it to my room, I felt numb. So much so, I almost forgot to feed my fish. I attempted to study for a while, but it was no use. So, I laid in bed, warm under my covers as I scrolled through Instagram. Eventually I came across Natasha’s Instagram, and I remembered I had her number. I got up, pulling it from my textbook and laying back down. I put it into my phone and shot her a text. After a few minutes I was panicking, wondering about her response so I picked up my copy of Salem’s Lot, attempting to pick up where I left off but as soon as my bookmark slid onto my lap, my phone buzzed. By the end of the conversation, I was sobbing. No matter what, I can’t seem to keep others around. Something always ruins it. I laid back in bed, staring up at my ceiling. This is how my life is going to be. My parents will ruin everything, and it’s something I’m just going to have to accept. I sobbed at the thought. Being stuck with my parents for the rest of my life sounded worse than death.

I heard footsteps in the hallway and quickly turned over and closed my eyes and attempted to settle my breathing. I heard my door open, but I couldn’t tell if it was my mom or my dad. The hallway light spilled in, giving way to a large shadow. “I’m about to put duct tape over your mouth if you don’t shut up.” He muttered before walking out and closing my door. Once my dad was gone, I took a deep breath fighting back the sobs as I exhaled. I was choking myself holding it in, so I buried my face in the pillow and quietly cried, hoping neither of my parents would hear. Eventually I cried myself to sleep, regretting it with a massive headache and a splotchy and swollen face the next morning. “Look at you! You look like a literal train wreck!” My mom yelled as I finished curling my hair, opting for only mascara and eyeliner today. “I had a bad day yesterday.” I mumbled. “Speak up!” Mom yelled, ramming the side of her fist into the bathroom door. “I said, I had a bad day yesterday.” I enunciated. “Who cares? We all have bad days. Just get over it and don’t let it bother you, because when it does, this is what I have to deal with.” I bit my lip as I grabbed my glasses off the counter, sliding them on my face. I turned to her as she blocked the doorway, arms crossed over her chest. “Excuse me.” It was basically a whisper. “Speak. Up.” I cleared my throat, meeting her gaze. “Excuse me.” She huffed before walking away and I went back into my room to grab my bag before heading downstairs to grab my keys.

I walked past my dad who sat in the dining room, drinking his coffee and eating the breakfast my mother made for him. “Where are you going in a rush?” He asked and I stopped in the doorway, turning to him. “Leaving for class.” He didn’t look at me, keeping his back to me. “Forgetting something?” I clenched my fists at my sides, not wanting to go near him. Yesterday crushed every hope I ever had that he loved me even a little. Mother has always made it clear ever since I was little, but my dad was always a little softer with me until I started college. “Katie.” His deep voice broke me from my thoughts, and I took a few steps forward, leaning down and kissing his cheek. “Love you, daddy.” I said before I rushed out, not sticking around to see if he said anything. I got in my car and drove to campus, hoping the drive would clear my head. By the time I reached campus, my headache had eased a little and my face wasn’t as red but my skin was a little dark on my cheek where dad slapped me yesterday. I huffed, making sure my hair covered my cheek for the most part before walking into my first lecture of the day. My lectures were mind-numbingly boring, and I counted the moments until they ended. My last class of the day was Dr. Nieman’s class, and my least favorite.

My dad has known Dr. Nieman for a long time and he tells my dad everything, any move I make is told like small town gossip. We were halfway through the class when I heard the whispers a few seats down from me. It took a second to pick up on what the girls were saying, but I froze when I heard it was about me. “What do you think she did to deserve that bruise?” The hand holding my pen stopped dead in it’s tracks, tuning into the conversation. “Who knows. But we all know she’s a freak, probably scared some poor person with that intense eye contact of hers.” Tears sprung to my eyes at their words. I’m not a freak, I’m completely normal. You are a freak. You can’t control half the things you do or say. “Ladies. I hope whatever you’re discussing is more important than my lesson.” They froze as they were caught, staring at Dr. Nieman with wide eyes. “Go ahead. Share your thoughts.” My head snapped to the two girls, my eyes pleading for them to lie. Their eyes met mine and one of them cleared her throat. “We were curious about Katie’s bruise on her cheek.” Dr. Nieman’s eyes met mine and I hung my head, refusing to look at him. “That seemed like an awfully long conversation about a bruise. There must be more to your discussion.” I gripped my pen so tightly I was worried it would snap in my hand. “We came to the conclusion that she earned that bruise because she stared at someone too intensely.” Dr. Nieman hummed and nodded. “Sounds like a solid conclusion.” He said before turning back to the board. “Yeah, we all know how much of a freak she is with that stare of hers.” Some guy behind me said as he leaned forward. I slammed my pen on the desk before standing, grabbing my bag and my books before hauling ass out of the lecture hall. “Miss Blair!” Dr. Nieman yelled, but I ignored him as tears streaked down my cheeks.

I knew my dad would hear about this, but I didn’t care. I have never done anything to anyone in that room and yet they’re all acting as if I don’t belong in society. I sobbed as I launched my bag clear across my car before tossing it in reverse and high tailing it off campus. I drove for who knows how long, but I only stopped when I pulled into an ocean front parking lot. I sat in my car and cried, letting out all the frustrations I had as people around me went about their day as if nothing was wrong. Finally, I sat up, pulling out a makeup wipe from my center console and cleaning my face of the streaked mascara and eyeliner before putting my glasses back on. I stared out at the rolling waves, watching them crash along the sand. I watched as one guy swam out, far. I wonder if anyone would miss me if I just swam out into the ocean and let the current take me under. Immediate fear struck me, and more tears clouded my vision. I’ve never had any thoughts like that before, but it scared me. I never thought I would be that person, contemplating suicide in the slightest. I flung my door open, getting out and closing it behind me. I need something to distract me. And at that thought, the smell of food invaded my senses and my stomach growled, reminding me I haven’t eaten anything all day.

I grabbed my wallet from my bag, walking over to the little shack. “Hi, what can I get you?” I stared at the menu for a minute. “Can I please get a cheeseburger and some fries?” He nodded, keying it into the register. “And what to drink?” He asked. “Um, water is fine.” He nodded and I stood to the side, waiting for my food. My mother would kill me if she knew what I was doing. Especially since I’m using my gas money for it. I’ll just have to make the gas stretch until they give me more money. “Katie!” The guy yelled, startling me. “Oh, sorry.” He said as he handed me the red and white bowl that held my food. “It’s okay.” I muttered before saying thank you and walking away. There was a small picnic table in front of my car, so I sat, opting to people watch while I ate. I was startled as a seagull landed on my table, staring at me in curiosity as I ate my burger. I broke off a small piece of a fry, tossing it to him. “You’re just hungry aren’t you little guy.” He screeched at me before taking off. Once I was done I tossed everything and got back in my car, realizing I had half an hour to get on base. Thankfully I was close, but that meant I had to time it right to walk into my dad’s office or else he’ll know something was up, that is, if Dr. Nieman hasn’t already called him. I took my time getting there, but I still pulled into my usual parking spot five minutes early. I sat there for a moment before slowly making my way into the building, I stopped in his secretary’s office that was now empty and waited. Just as my watch ticked to four o’clock, I hesitantly walked in. “Hi, dad.” He was signing some things as I set my bag in my chair. “Hi. How was school?” I was taken aback by his tone. He sounded happy, even his facial expression showed it. “It was… fine.” I said, surprised by his demeanor. “I’ll be here a little late, but we’ll make it home in time for dinner.” I nodded, grabbing my bag from the chair. I hesitated, turning back to face him. “Dad?” He looked up to me, a curious look on his face. “Is everything okay?” He made me nervous when he got like this, because it’s usually followed by rage. “I have just had such a good day. Now, go study and I’ll come get you when it’s time to go home.” I nodded, walking over to his door. “Yes, sir.” I replied. I swung the door open, startled to see a man rushing for the door. His eyes caught mine and he narrowed them at me for a moment. “Admiral Blair, sir.” The Lieutenant said as he pushed past me into dad’s office, offering him a salute. “There’s something you should know.”

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