#outlandish behavior

[respectthepetty]

Backshots & Smiles

Yes, I'm being crass and this is a sexual innuendo, but go with it . . .

Ming loves Joe's back because it allows him to think he is with Tong.

We know this.

Because the series has shown this several times.

And Joe knows it too now.

But the third episode showed us that Ming actually fell in love with Tong because of Joe's back.

Therefore, Ming really fell in love with Joe first.

But he didn't realize it (until it was too late).

Even when Ming initially met Tong, Ming saw Tong's back first with his side profile.

And Tong's back at the restaurant reminded Ming of Joe.

And the meal Joe made for him their first night together - face first

The show has constantly told us that Ming is attracted to Joe's back because of its connection to Tong.

But the show has also told us Ming is truly in love with Joe because he IS Joe, not Tong's stand in which is why Ming, who only has sex with Joe from behind, was finally willing to let Joe top from behind.

And it's why the posters have shifted as well, so we now see Joe's face and Ming's back.

Unlike Ming and Joe who switch faces/places (there is a deeper meaning there about outward perceptions versus personal identity but that's not for here), Tong is the "face" . . . but that is all he is and all he will only be.

But I think the show is even stating Ming and Joe are one versatile unit as in they are connected and evolving and Tong is the static outlier.

Unlike Ming in the elevator, Sol had no recognition of Joe but then again Ming has been in love with Joe forever, even if it was initially through his back.

And Joe has never seen Ming as just a face as so many other do.

Which is why it's important that Ming rarely smiles.

Because Ming does smile.

A lot.

When he is with Joe.

So the staff members noting that Ming only smiles when he works with Tong is telling.

Because I don't think Ming is smiling because it's Tong.

He is smiling because Tong reminds him of Joe.

Ming, the man who is still living in Joe's house, making two meals with the bowls Joe bought, mending the broken mugs with their names on them, using the personalized pillowcases, and wearing the watch Joe bought him, is using Tong has a stand-in for Joe.

Joe is no longer the stand-in. He is the main character, which is why Ming told *new* Joe's BACK that people only liked him because of his resemblance to *old* Joe.

Ming no longer wants just a stand-in, but the whole person, so when he gets Joe back, he will always look him in his face.

And smile.

[binders-and-beanies]

“Physical media enjoyers” when you share or talk about traditional art

[kaustic]

Yea like I get it can be fun to focus on one ship I did that with Kunz for a bit but at the end of the day they’re all friends like even if it turns out some of them are dating like we have to go in with the mindset of them just being friends and all of this being for fun and not taking it too serious like sure it’s fun to point out things and speculate I even join in sometimes but idk sometimes people get too serious when they see someone being shipped with someone else and I don’t like mean a specific side either I mean both sides of any ship who like one set ship the people because they legit seem they could be dating VS another ship with one of those same people who people really only ship cause they don’t like the other person in the first ship ya know like both have their good and bad sides and I just like freaking out over Karl hugging his friends and like being all touchy but like respectful at the same time like it’s so nice to see because it’s like a good balance of him getting to feed his love language but also listening to his friends boundaries which some people … can’t even do with their coworkers … you don’t have to post this btw since it’s so drawn out and I wouldn’t wanna drag more drama to your blog than necessary

its. god its so frustrating being in the fandom because shipping's turned from "oh i really love their dynamics and its fun to Imagine them in a romantic way" to turning all of their irl interactions into how they're actually in love for real. like as much as i talk about drunz, i know they'll never date, there's no possibility of them dating, and I'm a-okay with that. i ship them because i love they're dynamic and i get so damn little content that i just have fun with it. but so many people get so deep into shipping that they can't fathom other people shipping one of their ship with someone else. like the whole shipping environment has become this really toxic place where you'll be crucified if you dare utter the words "i like x as just friends" because how dare you not ship them

[tricktster]

it is well established canon that my response to nearly any outlandish behavior that has impacted my day is to write the perpetrator a polite but firm letter

the letter i composed today and am about to drop off is perhaps less polite than I am typically capable of

[luna-azzurra]

List of character flaws that could make a funny original character (OC) even more entertaining

Chronic clumsiness: Tripping, stumbling, and knocking things over with comedic regularity.

Absurdly bad luck: Experiencing a series of comically unfortunate events.

Exaggerated laziness: Finding increasingly creative ways to avoid doing any work.

Uncontrollable laughter: Breaking into fits of giggles at the most inappropriate moments.

Inability to keep a secret: Accidentally blurting out confidential information or gossip.

Extreme forgetfulness: Frequently losing belongings or forgetting important appointments.

Obsessive-compulsive quirks: Engaging in peculiar rituals or behaviors for no apparent reason.

Social awkwardness: Saying and doing the most cringeworthy things in social situations.

Over-the-top dramatics: Reacting melodramatically to even the smallest of inconveniences.

Excessive talkativeness: Rambling on endlessly without realizing they've lost their audience.

Compulsive lying: Fabricating outlandish stories to impress others or get out of trouble.

Food obsession: Constantly eating or talking about food, even in inappropriate contexts.

Nervous tics: Displaying quirky mannerisms or habits when feeling anxious.

Paranoid tendencies: Jumping to wild conclusions and imagining elaborate conspiracy theories.

Uncontrollable curiosity: Snooping around and getting into trouble due to a relentless need to know.

Over-the-top superstitions: Believing in absurd lucky charms or rituals.

Excessive hypochondria: Constantly diagnosing themselves with imaginary illnesses.

Silly phobias: Fearing utterly ridiculous things, like rubber ducks or clowns.

Inability to tell time: Consistently running late or showing up at bizarre hours.

Ridiculous fashion sense: Sporting outrageous outfits or hairstyles that defy all logic.

These flaws can turn your funny OC into a lovably eccentric character, bringing humor and charm to any story or situation they find themselves in.

[buggachat]

Kagami is soooooo clearly autistic and i think most people agree on this so I think we sleep on the fact that Adrien is like the only person in the show (besides Félix ig, but you can apply this to him as well) who immediately got her. like Adrien and Kagami are on a wavelength. like everyone thought Kagami was awkward and weird and didn't understand her but Adrien just thought she was cool and nice. I'm almost positive that if a character commented to Adrien about Kagami being "weird" he literally wouldn't understand what they were referring to. Kagami commented all the time about how similar her and Adrien were and how that made them perfect for each other. Marinette, the other person who Adrien clearly super vibes with and gets along super well with, is also commonly agreed upon to be ADHD. The most Adrien thought of Marinette's extremely outlandish behavior around him was that it was "sweet and just her charm" (literally his words to Kagami in Protection). In general there's almost a trend in the show where the more openly neurodivergent a character is the more Adrien seems to vibe with them and is comfortable around them. Adrien is not neurotypical in this essay i will

[etz-ashashiyot]

All trolling and drive-by harassment aside, I do want to elaborate on the statement that the people harassing random Jews over Israel (and for that matter, the right-wingers harassing random Palestinians or Arabs over Hamas) absolutely do have a part in making this war worse and do need to take responsibility for it. (Will they? No. But those of us on the side of rationality, humanity, and peace need to hold them accountable.)

Here's the thing: when you pump out misinformation, disinformation, harass people who are not at the levers of control, deny proven atrocities, leverage people's cultural trauma against them, and/or gaslight them about any such behavior, you are actively participating in polarizing these communities against each other, when really we have a lot more in common than anyone seems to want to recognize.

Any legitimate peace process is going to be messy, requires nuance, a lot of grace, and overall is going to hinge on a lot of deeply traumatized and radicalized people letting go of and forgiving things no one should ever be asked to forgive. The more you polarize our communities, the more hatred you sow, the more you encourage and inflame outlandish maximalist ideas that are likely impossible and would require mass atrocities to accomplish in any event, the harder you make an already extremely difficult and delicate conversation.

And while I can't speak for anyone else, sowing hatred of Jews throughout the diaspora absolutely leads to people attacking us. Multiple people have already died because of this rampant, unchecked antisemitism. It is literally killing us.

So yes, if you engage in these behaviors, you do have blood on your hands.

[merakiui]

ebb and flow.

yandere!floyd leech x (female) reader cw: yandere, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, dub-con, nsfw, stepcest, obsession, getting high/use of edibles, reader is implied to have small breasts, octavinelle trio is human in this story, au with no magic, brief mention of alcohol use, brief mention of implied somnophilia, reader and trio are 18 in the last scene of the story (in case it isn't clear) note - like the tide, floyd's interests ebb and flow. you happen to be more than a passing fancy.

When he’s old enough to put his thoughts into words, Floyd declares, rather obnoxiously, that girls are gross and he wants nothing to do with them.

“All they ever wanna do is talk about dolls and dresses,” he laments, scuffing his shoe against the cobbles.

“You know I’m a girl, right?” You scoff and turn your nose up, mildly offended. “And not all girls are like that. I’m not like that.”

And it’s true. You give as good as you get. You lunge after Floyd when he yanks your favorite toys out of your hands or when he tugs on your hair, every infraction intentional. He knows just how to rile you up enough for you to give chase. You’re keen to wrestle him in the mud on rainy days in the same way he’s willing to race you up and down the streets to prove outlandish points.

Growing up with two brothers—though they aren’t your family by blood, referring to them as your step-brothers is a knotty mouthful you prefer to avoid—taught you things you never would have learned if you had a sister.

Perhaps their presence served to stoke the fires of playful violence—meaningless quarrels that were resolved in a matter of minutes, often punctuated with halfhearted apologies. Once, in the middle of a particularly nasty brawl, you kicked Floyd in the jaw and knocked his front tooth free. Morbidly amused, Jade applauded you for the show. Floyd held his bruised face in one hand, glaring viciously as blood dribbled from his lips. He reeled his arm back, but it never landed. Your father chewed the lot of you out before he could throw the punch.

“What are we going to do with you?” your mother would say while she patched the both of you up. “Always fighting like this… That’s not very nice now, is it?”

The twins’ mother died shortly after giving birth and so they never knew the concept of a mother until five years later when their father remarried. It was then when you joined their family of three, and the twins had taken to their new mother like fish in water. Adoringly, they would tug on her skirt and demand attention. She was all too happy to indulge them, lifting them into her arms one at a time.

“You know that means Mama and me, don’t you?” you add, skipping ahead of him.

“That’s different. Mama doesn’t count. She’s special.”

“What about me?”

Floyd takes one look at you and smiles that mean, mocking smile. “You’re even worse. You’ve got girl germs.”

You don’t bother granting him a head start. He’s already running.

On the cusp of a growth spurt, his face peppered in pimples, Floyd is only fifteen when you chase him out of your bedroom.

“Get out! Get out! Get out!” Your piercing shrieks and Floyd’s raucous laughter echo through the halls, drawing the perpetually curious Jade out of his room like a worm from an apple core.

He’s greeted with the sight of Floyd, who has clasped your bra around his head and is now parading about proudly. A plush octopus flies after him and smacks into the wall. Seconds later, you burst from your room with embarrassment painted on your face.

“Oh my.” Jade observes the scene unfold from behind his fist. His mismatched eyes glitter with mischief.

“You’re so tiny! Your boyfriend’s gonna fall in love with a shrimp!” Floyd sticks his tongue out at you. “Shrimpy (Name)! Shrimpy (Name)! I’ve got a shrimp for a sis!”

“That’s not funny, and Azul’s not my boyfriend!” You reach for him, but he avoids you with an agile sidestep. “Knock it off! Give it back!”

“But it fits me better.”

“It does not!” You turn to Jade and gesture wildly at Floyd, who is now batting his lashes like a princess. “Don’t just stand there! Help me out.”

“Oh, I’m afraid I’m much more suited to the sidelines. I wouldn’t want to interrupt your fun.”

You grit your teeth. “You ass—”

“So much noise! What in the world is going on here?”

Your mother makes her way up the stairs just as Floyd tugs the bra off his head. You round on her before the twins can. 

“Mooom, Floyd’s being gross. He stole my bra and won’t give it back.”

“Huuuh. No way. She’s totally framin’ me. I don’t have her bra.” Floyd folds his arms over his chest, feigning innocence. “That’s just icky. Why would I have it anyway?”

“Indeed,” Jade agrees coyly, pretending to search for it. “No bra in sight.”

“You’re liars—you and Jade!” You sneer at them. They merely smile angelically. “I’ll kick both of you in your dicks if you don’t—”

“(Name), mind your language!” Sighing, your mother issues both boys a stern frown. “Floyd, sweetheart, it’s not nice to tease your sister. You as well, Jade. Return what you stole and apologize.” She bends down to retrieve the fallen plush and passes it to you. “You too, (Name). You’re family. Family shouldn’t fight.”

“I don’t owe him an apology.”

“And I don’t have her bra.”

“He’s lying! Floyd was in my room, digging through my clothes.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Yeah-huh!”

Jade smiles wide enough to reveal the braces on his teeth. “Now that (Name) mentions it, I did see Floyd sneaking about. Oh, but maybe that’s not right. I only caught a glimpse, after all.” 

Floyd has no reason to look so betrayed. Jade oscillates between sides whenever it sates his hunger for amusement. Today, as luck would have it, he’s on your side. For now.

“If you’re as innocent as you claim, surely there’s no reason to keep your arms clasped behind your back.”

“You really don’t have anyone’s back, do you?”

“Floyd…” Your mother looks at him expectantly, her eyes soft despite her tone.

He thrusts his arm out and drops your bra. “Fine. Take it back. Wasn’t havin’ any fun with it anyways.”

“Honestly, you’re such a pervert,” you snap, swiping it from the floor. “Next time you wanna come in my room, you’d better knock first. How would you like it if I went into your and Jade’s room and stole one of your shirts?”

He sticks his tongue out at you, defiant like the brat he is. If your mother wasn’t standing behind you, you’d have exacted your revenge right then.

“(Name), be nice to your brother. Floyd, apologize to your sister.”

Floyd doesn’t look you in the eyes when he spits a mean-sounding, “Sorry.”

Jade can only snicker, feasting on this live entertainment like it’s the richest meal.

“And I’m sooo sorry you’re annoying and everyone’s gotta put up with you.” With an exasperated huff, you strut back into your room and slam the door shut. It locks with a loud click.

“Give her some time. She just needs to cool down,” you hear your mother explain. “But, really, you should know better, Floyd. It’s not right to go into anyone’s room and take their things.”

“I would never do something so egregious, Mother,” Jade admits, which you find hard to believe because he’s just as sly, if not more so, than his twin.

“She’s just mad I’m funnier than her,” Floyd says. A blatant falsehood if you’ve ever heard one.

You could never understand Floyd’s obsession with your laundry. Maybe he was just your typical hormone-addled teenager with nothing better to do but fantasize about women and their undergarments, and seeing as you were the only girl he was close to—both in age and as siblings—who else could bear the brunt of his delinquency?

Or it had nothing to do with that at all, and he was just determined to be as much of a pest as possible.

Back then, that made sense.

Back then, you were foolish.

Back then, you didn’t know. No one did. Not really.

Lying between your brothers, lost in thought, you stare at the plastic stars and planets pasted to your ceiling. A dulcet adagio trickles out of the tiny speaker on your bedside table. The honeyed vocals soften the static in your brain, snuffing every burden with beautiful bossa nova. You soak in every lyric, imagining yourself in the singer’s position: falling for someone in midnight blue, blooming beneath their touch, your dress falling to your ankles, exploring each other’s shorelines…

The fantasy floats away as soon as Floyd opens his mouth, and you’re brought back to reality. No lover in your arms. No midnight blue. No flowering feelings. No dress.

“When’s this stuff supposed to kick in? I don’t feel a thing.”

“Patience,” Jade murmurs, practically melting into the mattress. “You’ll know once it happens.”

“Well, I don’t. Your shit sucks.”

“As does your attitude.”

“Whatever.” Floyd snuggles closer to you, pulling your arm into his chest. “What about you, Shrimpy? You feel it yet?”

“Mmh, sorta… I dunno. Don’t call me that.”

“Once a shrimp, always a shrimp.”

“I did offer the other half.”

“I’ll take it if I feel like it.” You shake Floyd off and pout at Jade. “Mom and Dad’ll lose it if they find out, you know.”

Jade flashes his teeth at you in a cheeky grin. “I’m counting on you to be a sweet, dependable sister and keep my little secret safe.”

“Lips are sealed.”

“What a good pet you are. So obedient.”

You exhale a soft, gasping laugh. “You’re so weird.”

“But you’re smiling.”

“Only because you’re weird!”

He giggles and leans in close, his nose brushing yours. When he speaks again, it’s in a softer tone, near-hypnotic. “So you do feel it.”

“Maybe.”

With a petulant whine, Floyd presses himself against you from behind. “No fair. I wanna be all silly like you and Jade. Gimme the other half. I’ll take it right now.”

“You can grab it.”

“You’re closer.”

“Alas… My limbs are lead.”

“Asshole,” Floyd gripes, leaning over you and Jade to swipe the box from the bedside table. He often keeps his stash there. Sometimes it’s stocked with gummy edibles or mushrooms, all wrapped in plastic. Jade’s resourceful like a squirrel, crafty in ways you can’t fathom.

Today, you’re holed up in your room because you have a bigger bed. There are fairy lights strung up on the walls, providing the space with just enough dimness for you to see your surroundings. It’s the perfect ambience for this slow, lazy Saturday in November. Your parents are out for the afternoon and won’t be back until later, and you couldn’t be any happier to have the house to yourself.

As soon as the door shut, you exchanged knowing looks with your brothers and hurried back to your room. Jade told you he’d take you and Floyd to his favorite spot in the forest after midterms and then the lot of you could truly kick back and relax with some pre-rolls. He’d invite Azul and make it a picnic in the woods. A whole day filled with fun. In your heart, it would be a date. Your brothers would just be the unwanted third and fourth wheels.

Really, you could care less about getting high. Azul is more than a drug—he’s oxygen—and you crave him like an addict feens for a fix. Floyd thinks your crush on him is stupid and misplaced. You beg to differ. You’ve admired him since childhood. How could you possibly fall out of love now?

Floyd flops back into the empty space beside you, chewing the rest of the gummy worm. His arm drapes across your waist. “What’re we doin’ tomorrow?”

“I’m going to the library to study with Azul.”

“Lame.”

“You’re not invited.” You roll over on your side to address him, speaking slowly. “Don’t show up.”

“Now I kinda want to. I wanna see what you and Azul get up to.”

“Studying.”

“Mmh, I doubt that.” Jade sticks to you like moss, his eyes fluttering shut. “Azul’s studying, at least. You’re daydreaming.”

“Not my fault he’s cute.”

“I’m cuter.” Floyd’s lips turn down in a disappointed moue. “Ain’t I cute?”

“No way. You’re ugly.”

“I’m inclined to agree.”

“No one asked you, Jade. ‘Sides, ain’t that basically the same as sayin’ you’re ugly, too?”

“I dunno,” he mumbles dumbly, the words muffled in your shoulder. “What do you think, (Name)?”

“Get yourself a girlfriend and then you can ask her.”

“Won’t you be my stand-in girlfriend?”

“Yeah, that’s good.” Floyd curls his fingers around the strap of your tank top. He tugs it up and down your arm in a languid rhythm. You’re floating amongst the clouds, your mind filled with a pleasant fuzz, so scolding him isn’t a priority. “Forget about bein’ our sis for a sec.”

“Get lost.”

“How cold…” Jade sniffles.

“Shrimpy’s ruthless.”

“Stop calling me that.”

Floyd’s hand crawls across your chest to grope you through your shirt. “Mmh, nope. Still small.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“Am not.”

“I think you’re sized just right.” Jade’s spidery digits creep along your hip and splay across your stomach. “Azul won’t even notice. He doesn’t pay attention to your assets like we do.”

“I wish he would.” You meet Jade’s half-lidded stare. “Does he talk about me?”

“In what context? You’ll need to be specific,” he purrs, and if you weren’t swimming in bliss you’d elbow him in the mouth.

It’s like pulling teeth with Jade. He makes things so irritatingly difficult for no reason.

“You know the context.”

“Sometimes he says stuff,” Floyd replies instead. He rests his head in the crook of your neck and inhales the sugary notes of your perfume.

“Good stuff?”

Vibrating with a woozy warmth, you squirm between your brothers. It’s stifling being in the middle of their sandwich, but the proximity is pleasing. Comfortable. Reassuring. You feel like an anchored ship between the both of them, safely pinned down amidst the tumultuous waves of your bedsheets. You sigh dreamily when Floyd’s legs twine around yours.

“He thought your sweater was real cute.”

“Which one?”

“All of ’em.”

“Hmm. Okay.” But that doesn’t satisfy you. “What type of girl is he into?”

“Why don’t you make him your boyfriend? Then you can find out,” Jade says.

He aims for a sharp smile and falls short. It mellows out into something stupid and lopsided. He thinks he’s the funniest creature on the planet, and in this moment he is because the retort has you snowballing into a fit of giggles.

“Maybe I will.”

Floyd tracks your throat as it bobs with every swallow. He glances at your jaw next, at the glitters speckled on your cheeks. They sparkle like miniature stars, an entire galaxy imprinted on your skin. “You’re wearin’ makeup.”

“Hm?”

“Perfume, too. Smells good.”

“I bought some when I went to the mall.”

“When?”

“Last week? Two weeks ago? I can’t remember.”

“You doin’ it for Azul?”

“Who else? Certainly not you.”

Floyd scowls at Jade. “Don’t answer for her. I wanna hear it from her.”

“You’re my brother. Why would it be for you?” you mumble, more confused than unsettled.

Obviously it’s for Azul.

“Why not? It’s not fair other guys get to see ya lookin’ this good. Why should I be excluded just cuz I’m your brother?”

His lips drag against your neck. There’s nothing special about his affection. It’s dubiously platonic, but you’re used to it. He’s always been prone to expressing himself through physical means. Too-tight hugs, pecks on the cheek, a gentle squeeze in clasped hands. It was cute when you were children, but now you’re seventeen and it’s getting harder to explain his clingy nature.

“I don’t care what other guys think.”

“Just Azul?” Jade prompts, toying with the hem of your top. His fingers slide beneath it to prod at your navel, and suddenly Azul is no longer the most important part of this conversation. “Have you ever considered piercing it?”

“What? My belly button?”

“Ooh, good idea. You could match jewelry with us. How about it? I’ll getcha some sturgeon scales.”

“Mom’ll kill me.”

“In that case, we’re both dead.”

You blink at Jade, searching for the meaning in his mismatched hues. He opens his mouth, unfurling his tongue to reveal the venom piercing. The shock washes over you like a wave, and just as it’s receding it hits you—what you’re looking at.

“Your tongue! You actually—since when?”

“Two weeks.”

“What the hell! Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve come with. Moral support and stuff.”

He laughs when you nudge him. “It wasn’t so bad. I’d like to get more.”

“Does Dad know?”

“Not at all.”

“Dangerous.”

“Thrilling,” he corrects, a minacious glint in his gaze.

“Jade’s changin’ up his whole look. Super cool, ain’t it?”

“And what about you?” You turn over towards Floyd. His hands settle on your lower back. He all but tugs you away from Jade, who frowns and shuffles closer until his hips press against your ass. You feel his mouth at your bare shoulder, lavishing it with little pecks. “Do you want more piercings?”

“You into guys with piercings?”

“I don’t really care. Piercings are great. Tattoos, too.”

“Then I’ll get a tattoo.”

“So it’s settled. (Name) will pierce her navel, and Floyd will get a tattoo.”

“Sure,” you agree, but you don’t expect anything to come out of it. Just a random idea thrown around in the haze of your high.

You’re closer than family should be, but that’s the last thing on your mind when you’re twisted between them. This is normal. At least, it’s the normal you’ve grown up with.

What isn’t normal, though, is Floyd’s insistence that he ought to shape himself into the man of your dreams when, clearly, the man of your dreams goes by the name of Azul Ashengrotto. But you’re not worried. It’s always said in jest, or you assume it’s in jest.

In the back of your mind, you wonder if Azul would like you more if you had a pretty piercing to show off.

You’re weeks away from prom when Azul says yes.

“Wait… Really? Seriously?”

“I was under the impression we were all going,” he says with that charismatic chuckle you love dearly. “As a group, yes?”

Your hopes plummet alongside pieces of your heart. “Oh. Y-Yeah, right. A group. Of course.”

“I do appreciate the poster, though.” He holds it up as if it’ll reveal a secret message when caught in the sun. The cartoon octopus you spent hours sketching, lining, and coloring smiles back at him. “‘It would be so tenta-cool if you could be the sea to my shore at prom.’ How ingeniously cheesy.”

Your laughter is hollow. That’s the last time I’m asking Jade for advice on ocean puns.

“I’m glad you think so… Hey, you’re coming over before the dance, right? We’re thinking of doing something.”

“A party before the party?” Azul rolls the poster up and carefully fits it into his messenger bag. It sticks out from under the flap. “I’m not opposed. What did you have in mind?”

“We could get dinner.” Just the two of us. “Whatever you want, really. My dad’s planning to send us there in a limo. Real classy, y’know.”

Azul falls into step with you. “If that’s the case, we might as well go all out.”

Sensing an in, you stare at him. “The girls in my class are going on and on about how prom’s gotta be this magical thing. It can’t get more magical than a fancy car.”

“Goodness. It’s really not that special. You can’t exactly put ‘Prom Queen’ on your resume now, can you?”

“No, but you can make lots of memories. So I was thinking—hypothetically, of course—if you’d wanna go as, like, my fake date. Like, we’re going as a group and everything, but if you want we could get flowers for each other and match outfits and… B-Basically, I’m just trying to see if there’s any merit to what they’re saying about prom. About it being magical with a date.”

“Hm… That’s true. It will be our final social event before we graduate and go out into the world. Our last chance to say and do whatever we’ve neglected in previous years.”

“Right.”

“I wouldn’t mind.” His stare is fixed firmly on the path ahead. “Hypothetically speaking, of course.”

“So…” You swallow your anxieties; your heart is in your throat. “So you’ll be my hypothetical date?”

“I would be honored.”

“Okay. A-All right… Yeah! Great!”

Azul’s pretty blues briefly flick over to you. His cheeks are tinged pink. “Wonderful. I… I’m pleased we’ve worked this out. All hypotheticals, naturally.”

“Yeah, definitely. Just hypothetical.”

“Did…you have a color in mind? Have you picked a dress yet?”

“Something pink or purple. Maybe red. I’m not really sure.”

“Blue would be very flattering on you.” As an afterthought, he scrambles to add, “But that’s just another hypothetical.”

You watch the way he wrings the strap of his bag. “I agree. Blue’s a good color.”

“Isn’t it?”

“I could wear you.” You regret it the moment it leaves your mouth, even more so when Azul raises a bewildered brow. “B-Because your name—no, sorry. That’s dumb. I don’t mean it in the crazy-murderer-who-skins-you-alive way. I meant in the way that’s like—”

“Cheek to cheek?”

“Yeah. No, yeah, that’s right.”

What am I saying? None of this makes any sense. 

Azul laughs and nudges you playfully. “You can wear me. Hypothetically, I’m your date to the dance. It’s only right that I act as your accessory for the evening.”

“Then… T-Then let’s be each other’s garments!”

He hums his approval and the conversation dies there.

You make the rest of the walk out of school in awkward silence. At the gates, Azul turns to you.

“None of this is hypothetical, is it?”

You heave a relieved breath. “Not at all.”

“Then allow me to do away with pretending. I’ll be your prom date. Factually.”

“My factual prom date…”

“It…doesn’t sound as smooth as a hypothetical.”

“But it’s real.”

He smiles shyly. “That it is.”

On the night of prom, alone in an empty corridor, Floyd yanks you into a rough kiss. The music from the ballroom is so loud you can faintly hear it from down the hall. It pulses through you with energetic vibrations, joining your panic in an unsteady duet. You push at Floyd’s chest, struggling against the wall he has you pinned to. He breaks off halfway just to savor your gasp before moving in to reclaim your mouth. It’s a ravenous action. He kisses you like he intends to devour you, licking and nipping at every possible crevice. His teeth click against yours as he endeavors to taste the wine at the back of your throat—courtesy of sneaky, rebellious Jade and his discreet water bottle.

Finally, after gathering enough strength, you shove him off of you. He stumbles, hurt flashing across his face. Ferociously hot up to your ears, your heart stumbling in your rib cage, you can’t believe it. You don’t want to believe it.

That wasn’t real… No way…

Still processing it, you smudge your lipstick when you wipe the drool from your mouth.

You and Floyd watch each other in silence. You’re waiting for him to break it. He’s waiting for you to run away.

“What…was that?”

“You were cozyin’ up to Azul—”

“Because he’s my date!”

“Yeah, but you—Shrimpy, c’mon, you know we agreed to go as a group…”

“And so what? That doesn’t give you the right to kiss me. I was going to—I had an entire plan for this. Azul was gonna be my first kiss!”

“Well, now he’s gonna hafta be second.”

You sputter in shock. “You—you’re so… I just… Wow.”

Floyd’s face hardens and softens and then hardens again. He looked like a kicked puppy a few minutes ago, cowardly and small, but now there’s determination smoldering in his stare.

“I like ya. I like ya a whole lot.” You open your mouth to protest, but he beats you to it. “More than a sister.”

And there it is—the truth you couldn’t confront.

Your frustration withers and blooms anew in a complicated tangle of weeds. “You…like me. Like… Like me, like me?”

Floyd cards a hand through his slicked hair and exhales a heavy breath. “I mean… It’s obvious, ain’t it?”

“Floyd, I… I’m sorry, but I like Azul. You know this.” Now it’s your turn to cut him off before he can speak. “You’re family, Floyd. My brother.”

“So what?”

“It’s wrong, that’s what! We’re family. That’s all we’ve ever been… Look—I don’t have time for this. Azul and Jade are gonna wonder where we went. We can talk about this tomorrow.”

You brush past him, hoping to leave this conversation here and pick it up after the dance. But Floyd won’t have that. He seizes your wrist and tugs you around.

“Just…” He avoids your stare. “Just hear me out, okay? I just wanna love ya.”

“So love me like a normal brother.” You try to pull yourself free, but he holds firm. “I really don’t have time to argue. Actually, this isn’t something I should have to argue in the first place.”

“We’re not related in that way. It’s fine, isn’t it?” He grabs your waist and drags you close.

“Mom and Dad won’t think so. Azul won’t. Honestly, Floyd, let it go. We’ll talk later. Please just—”

“You really don’t get it, do you?”

You inhale slowly, forcing yourself to remain calm. “No, I don’t. I really don’t.”

“I’ve wanted ya longer than Azul—than Jade. Longer than anyone. And I never got to have ya.” Floyd plasters you to the wall again, but this time he slots a knee between your thighs. “Drove me crazy every time I saw ya walkin’ around the house in those stupid shorts or when you’d bring your friends over and you’d wear that stupid nightgown. The soft one with the lace and bows. The one that’s so thin it shows your shrimpy tits.”

Your glower is so blistering it could melt him down to his bones. “You’re disgusting.”

“Maybe.” He laughs, but it isn’t funny. “Didja know? I wanted to kiss you in your sleep. Touch you all over. Stick my fingers in you and watch you squirm… Feel how tight you are when you cling to my cock. You’re still a virgin, ain’tcha? Azul hasn’t done it with you yet, right?”

You yelp when his hand slips under the ruffles of your dress and climbs up your thigh. “W-Wait—stop! Don’t—”

“Gonna take that as a no.”

“Floyd—”

“See? Can’t you say my name instead of his? You don’t gotta daydream with me around. I’ll make you feel good. You don’t need that stupid dildo when you’ve got me.”

His fingers press against the outline of your pussy, teasing you through the fabric. Your body goes rigid. “Y-You can’t… Not here. Someone might see.”

“Let ’em. Then they’ll know you’re all mine.” Floyd noses your throat and deflates against you, hedonistic and selfish. “You always smell so fuckin’ good. Like candy. Sweet and yummy. Makes me wanna bite you and never let go. Taste your shrimpy heartbeat in my mouth…”

“S-Seriously…” You squeeze your eyes shut and bite back a whimper when he squeezes your clit. “Get off of me. You can’t—you’re my brother.”

“Nah. Brothers don’t go around stealin’ their sister’s stuff and usin’ it to get off, do they?”

It occurs to you that you should be furious with him. He deserves more than just your ire. Instead, you can only feel intoxicated as you listen to him ramble filth.

“Remember that pair of panties you thought was clean? The ones with the stain.”

“Yeah, the ones I use when I’m on my period—”

“Not those. The other one.”

“W-What—” You slap your hand over your mouth to muffle your gasp. He rubs you in slow, deliberate circles. With dimming focus, you try to think of anything else—of boring, bland things—to fight off mounting arousal. “What about it?”

“I had that pair wrapped around my dick before you put ’em on.”

“So that was—the stain was—”

“Mhm.”

“Ew! You’re the worst! That was my favorite pair, Floyd!”

He snickers. “At least it wasn’t you. My old man’ll beat my ass if I knock ya up. Had to use the next best thing.”

“Use your hand, dumbass! Don’t use my stuff!”

“Then stop fuckin’ yourself on your dildo. I hear you through the bathroom door, y’know. Moanin’ like you’re in heat. All of it for Azul. I wanted to come in and help ya out every time, but I couldn’t. And that really ate at me.”

“I don’t want your help,” you spit, glaring.

“No? But you’re so wet. I think my fingers will slip riiight in.” He pulls your panties to the side and prods at your folds. “You wanna test it?”

You shake your head a second too late. Floyd’s already pushing two fingers inside. The breath sticks in your throat. He’s actually doing this, right here in the open. Someone could turn down the hall and spot you. That someone could be—

“A-Azul might catch us. Stop. You really can’t…”

“Aww. What? Don’t want Azul seein’ you like this? Don’t want him to see the mess you’re making? Don’t want him knowing you like being wrapped around your brother’s fingers?”

He’s mean when he curls them suddenly, a brute and a bully all at once. They press against wet, velvety walls, and the noisy squelch leaves you shuddering. You breathe heavily, little huffs that tremble sweetly as he stretches you out.

“S-Shut up. You’re a pervert.”

“That makes two of us.”

You yank him closer by his tie, intending to be threatening and failing. “I’m gonna kill you.”

“Sure you are.”

Without warning, he reaches for your chest and yanks your strapless dress down to reveal your breasts. Your perky nipples poke out against the lingerie tape. He whistles lowly while he marvels at them.

“Still the same pair of shrimpy tits.”

“Nuh-uh. I went up a size.”

“Yeah-huh. I would know. I steal your bras all the time. Same cup size, Shrimpy.”

“So you’re depraved and shameless.”

“No reason to hide it anymore.”

He drags his fingers out and thrusts them back in. You choke on a stifled moan. Deep down in a logical corner of your brain, you know you shouldn’t submit so easily. It’s wrong, but you can’t stop the pleasure that washes over you with every stroke of his fingers. It sends pleasant bolts of bliss up your spine. Your knees wobble, and your thighs are sticky with your slick. When he grinds his thumb against your clit, forcefully insistent, something in your stomach snaps. You come undone in an instant, crashing against a sinful shore. Orgasm wracks through you in a powerful tremor, shaking the thoughts in your skull like a disturbed ecosystem in a terrarium.

Unrelenting, he fucks you through it. You’re boneless in the aftermath, chest heaving and mind reeling.

Floyd’s fingers glide out with ease, shimmering with your juices. He puts them in his mouth to savor the taste of you, his tongue slithering between the space of both digits. Horrifyingly, you admire him as he licks himself clean. Even though you shouldn’t, you wish desperately to feel that muscle inside you, working you towards another grand peak.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

You’re still in a daze when Floyd fixes your panties and dress. You look presentable, if not slightly debauched. Your makeup is a mess, and Floyd’s all too eager to fix it for you. You stand still when he wipes at the corner of your mouth with his thumb and then carefully applies lipstick. Within no time, you’re back to how you were.

“Lookin’ good,” he praises, stuffing the tube in his pocket. “The prettiest Shrimpy at the party. They should make you Prom Queen.”

You swat at him. “Don’t…” And then you sigh. What does it matter? He’s going to call you that regardless of what you think.

Thankfully, the slow dance is only just beginning when you return. You find Azul lingering near the wall, tapping anxiously at his phone. Jade’s also there. Physically. You can’t say the same for his head. He’s taking a trip in his own mental paradise. Floyd stalks after you, his hands stuffed in his pockets. If you didn’t just squirt around his fingers minutes ago, you would’ve assumed the atmosphere of the party was to blame for his euphoria. But you know the real reason.

Azul doesn’t, though.

So it’s with a guilty heart when you lead him onto the dance floor for a waltz.

Your childhood crush—the guy you’ve loved more than life itself—is right in front of you, looking at you like you’ve hung the stars, but the only one you can think of is your step-brother.

That can’t be a good sign.

Floyd joins Jade in his corner. He gazes through him and offers his water bottle. It’s nerdy enough for its contents to be unassuming, what with its mushroom print, but Floyd knows better than to take it at face value. Even so, he grabs hold of it and downs what’s left of the wine. It’s so sweet it sticks to the roof of his mouth.

“Azul’s not staying the night, is he?”

“I’m not sure.” Jade finds you and Azul in the crowd of dancers and hums. “How cruel of you to want to separate them.”

“He’s not gettin’ laid tonight if that’s what he thinks. Not if I can help it.”

“I don’t think he even knows how.”

Floyd laughs. “Nah. He knows.”

“Does he now?”

“C’mon, Jade. He undresses her every time he looks at her.”

“I suppose so.” He smiles moonily, distracted. “She’ll never let you.”

“She won’t let you either.”

“I don’t mind a little pain. To be bloodied and bruised by her gentle hands… I know of no greater exhilaration.”

Floyd rolls his eyes. “Azul’s got it lucky. He gets to hug and kiss her whenever he wants. Meanwhile, I’ve gotta pretend like I don’t wanna fuck her shrimpy brains out every time I get a whiff of her perfume.”

“The odds aren’t very favorable, but I suspect you’ve already had your fun.”

Floyd grins wickedly. “She’s cute. I couldn’t help it.”

“I must agree. She sounds sweetest when she’s caught in the throes of pleasure.”

Floyd starts to nod and then pauses. “How do you know—”

“Oh my. It appears I’ve said too much.”

“No, no. Keep talkin’. You haven’t said nearly enough.”

“You’re not her only brother, you know.”

Floyd thinks there’s more to that sentence, but Jade isn’t willing to get into the details. Not here, at least. He doesn’t have to pry too deeply to understand the hidden implications.

“Asshole. You went and did it before I could.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jade giggles. “A little midnight snacking never hurts. She’s soft and snug inside. Very warm.”

Floyd shoves him away. “Fuck off.”

As long as it’s not Azul, he thinks, watching him as he spins you like a gentleman. Anyone but him.

[believemedarlin]

The Perfect Man

Aaron Hotchner/Female Reader (3.9k words) Also available on AO3

Summary:

“You know, if you combined all the men on the team… they’d make the perfect man.”

“What?” Emily sputtered into her wine.

Penelope giggled while JJ looked intrigued

***

A drunken night out with the girls leads to some interesting revelations.

***

“Let’s play Fuck, Marry, Kill.”

A round of groans sounded from the table, but Penelope Garcia was not to be dissuaded. 

“Come on, ladies. It’ll be fun!”

Her best puppy dog eyes firmly in place, Penelope implored her friends and coworkers with a practiced look. You were holding strong until she brought out the big guns and pouted at you.

A mere ten seconds later you caved. 

“Okay, fine,” You sighed. “But can we use kick instead of kill? I always hated that option. Why do you have to kill them when kicking would be just as effective in showing your lack of interest? No death required.”

“Ooh, I like that,” Penelope immediately agreed with a nod. “You know I’m a pacifist at heart.”

She turned to the other two women seated at the table, pout back in full force. JJ gave in first, patting Penelope’s hand with an indulgent smile and a nod. 

Seeing that she was outnumbered, Emily shrugged. “Sure. But I’ll need another drink if we’re doing this. I haven’t played this since college.”

“I’ll get us all another round.” Penelope jumped to her feet to join her and they made their way to the bar, weaving through the other patrons.

It was a rare Friday night off and the women of the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit had decided to go out for a much-needed night of ladies-only fun and frivolity. They had happily left the guys to sort out their evenings and escaped the second the clock struck five.

They were all a few drinks in at this point, which is most likely the reason Penelope had suggested the game. She always got a bit playful when she drank.

They returned a few minutes later, fresh drinks in hand. 

Once settled, Penelope leaned in, an eager smile on her face. “Okay. Fuck, Marry, Kick. Henry Cavill, Ben Barnes, Zachary Levi. And go!”

Emily took a sip of her drink and wasted no time in voicing her choices, followed by JJ and you. You took turns coming up with more and more outlandish options, and pleasantly spent the next hour drinking and laughing with your friends.

You had just finished giggling over Penelope’s reasoning behind her choosing to kick Willy Wonka and marry Jareth the Goblin King so she could enjoy a night with Conan the Barbarian when Emily leaned in with a smirk.

“I’ve got a good one. Hotch, Morgan, and Reid.”

The table erupted in a chorus of ooohs and laughter. 

JJ bit her lip in thought. “Okay, since we know them personally and I’m a happily taken woman, I’m going to change mine to kiss, because it’s weird to say I want to fuck any of them. So, uh, I’ll go with kiss Morgan, marry Reid, and kick Hotch. But only barely, because I do not want him angry with me.”

“Easy,” Penelope chirped. “Fuck Morgan, marry Morgan, and kick Reid and Hotch.”

You, JJ, and Emily burst into laughter, with JJ swatting Penelope on the arm. “You can’t double up like that!”

“Can too! My game, my rules. Besides, it’s special circumstances with Morgan as an option.”

Emily snorted, then grinned. “Hmm. I think I’d go with fuck Morgan, marry Hotch, and kick Reid.”

All eyes then turned to you as you stared into your drink, taking entirely too long as you overthought the options.

Eventually, Emily cleared her throat and you looked up to see her watching you expectantly.

“What?” You grinned sheepishly with a shrug. “It’s harder than you’d think!”

The ladies teased you good-naturedly until you finally said, “Okay, okay! Um, I think…” 

You blew out a breath in a long sigh. “Fuck Reid, marry Hotch, kick Morgan. No wait… Maybe fuck Hotch, marry Reid?”

Emily and JJ cackled while Penelope put on a fake offended air. “Why you gotta kick my beloved cinnamon hot chocolate Adonis not once, but twice? He’s the perfect man!”

"I mean, a lot of women would think that, yeah, but not me.”

Penelope gasped and pressed her hand to her chest dramatically. “Why, I never.”

You giggled with a shrug. “Sorry?” 

“You’re forgiven.”

“What I want to know,” JJ chimed in with a mischievous grin, “is why you can’t decide between Reid and Hotch on who to marry?”

You buried your face in your hands to hide your blush. “I don’t know! Both seem like solid choices. I think they’d both make good husbands.”

Emily smirked. “Sure it wasn’t because you couldn’t decide which you’d rather fuck?”

Penelope and JJ burst into laughter again while you groaned into your hands.

“You all are menaces. I don’t know why I spend time with you.”

“Because we’re wonderful people and you love us.”  Penelope teased.

“That’s debatable.” You mumbled.

“Oh, come on,” she leaned into your side and laid her head on your shoulder. “You know you adore us.” Penelope batted her eyes and you couldn’t help but grin.

“Yeah, I do.”

She cheered and called for another round of drinks.

The game wound down and devolved into a rather extensive list of men and women that each of the ladies wouldn’t mind enjoying some personal one-on-one time with.

You had been sitting in a comfortable silence for the past few minutes, chin in hand and elbow on the table, your mind pondering on something Penelope had said earlier. Your voice took on a contemplative tone as you mused aloud, “You know, if you combined all the men on the team… they’d make the perfect man.”

“What?” Emily sputtered into her wine.

Penelope giggled while JJ looked intrigued.

“Okay, just hear me out. Now, granted, everyone’s idea of the perfect man is different but for me… If we go by physical attributes first, you have to admit that each guy is objectively attractive on their own. I mean seriously, was it a prerequisite that everyone has to be outrageously good-looking to be a member of the team?”

The ladies heartily agreed with laughter and nods, but you gestured across the table to them. “I’m including you three in this too. Have you looked at yourselves? You’re all absolutely gorgeous.”

“Damn right, we are,” Emily exclaimed as she high-fived JJ.

You raised your glass to her and took a sip before expanding on your premise. “So by themselves, each man is handsome but combined…”

You tilt your head in thought. “For me, it would be Reid’s hair. I’ve always liked longer hair on a guy and have you seen those curls when he lets it grow out? And then add in Hotch and Rossi’s dark hair and … yeah. Next would be Morgan and Rossi’s facial hair. I don’t know about you ladies but I like a man with a bit of scruff, you know what I mean? Goatee or full beard or just a couple of days growth, hell even a good five o’clock shadow, as long as it’s maintained and not all scraggly, I like it. Oooh, remember when Hotch came back with a beard?

“Yeah,” you sighed, a bit more dreamily than you had intended, surely caused by the late hour and not the memory of a casually dressed, bearded Hotch. “Like that.”

All three ladies shared a knowing look, but you paid them no mind. 

“Though there is something to be said about a freshly shaved face. It’s so soft…” You sighed again.

“And then there’s height.” You knew you were rambling, but with the alcohol fueling you, there was little chance of stopping you now. “They’re all at least 6 foot so the height difference is perfect for both cuddles and forehead kisses.”

At this, Emily snorted. “Forehead kisses?”

“Yes,” you snipped primly. “They are the pinnacle of non-lip-to-lip kisses and they are my favorite thing. They just make you feel so adored. Now shush.”

You shooed her and rested your chin back in your hand. “Let’s see… Eyes. Honestly, I think they all have lovely eyes. I’m not picky on eye color really but I think Hotch’s stand out the most to me. I mean, have you seen his eyelashes? It should be criminal for a man to have such beautiful eyelashes.”

Another round of nods and hummed agreements sounded from the table.

“You know,” you continue with barely a pause, “I’ve never been a fan of really buff dudes, which sorry Pen, but that’s kinda why poor Morgan got kicked twice.” You shrugged unapologetically at her. 

“I’ve always preferred lean guys. Not scrawny but not bugling out his shirt, you know? Strong but not shoved in your face. But!” You sit straighter in your chair, index finger raised to emphasize your point. “That’s just looks. Personality-wise, I’m drawn to kindness first and our boys all have that in spades. And they each show it in different ways, but it’s always present.”

You met Penelope’s eyes. “And Morgan’s kindness absolutely overrides his excessive muscle mass. He’s honestly one of the kindest people I know, even if he’d deny it. He’s not humble about a lot of things, but he is about that.”

Your eyes dropped to the table as your finger ran along the wood grain. “I also like intelligence and while yes, first thoughts go to Reid, the others are all brilliant too. Like, Rossi is so wise! It seems like he always knows what’s going on with someone before anyone else, and always seems to know just what to say just when you need to hear it. And they each have strengths that I admire. I genuinely like each of them as a person and I’m proud to know them and am honored they consider me a friend. Honestly, I feel that way about all of you.”

“Aw!” Penelope sniffled. “That’s so sweet. We love you too, you know.”

You gave her hand a quick squeeze and took another sip of your drink. 

“What about lips?”

You blinked at JJ. “Lips? I’m not sure. I don’t know that I look at them much.”

Emily tilted her head. “You seriously don’t look at men’s lips?”

“Not really? I mean, I notice smiles. And honestly, how did I not start with that? It’s usually one of the first things I notice about someone. Smiles make everyone look twice as attractive. Oh, and a sense of humor! Gotta love a man who can make you laugh.”

“This one is definitely Morgan,” Emily chimed in and you nodded in agreement while Penelope raised her glass.

“Absolutely. He always makes me laugh, but so do the others. Rossi is snarky, which I appreciate as a fellow snarker. I can’t tell you the number of times he’s made me hold back a laugh during a round table. Reid can be really funny, too. Especially when we’re making Star Trek or Doctor Who references that no one else gets. Except you, Pen, but you’re usually in your lair. And Hotch—”

“No,” Emily cut in. “No way you think he’s funny. The man barely smiles.”

You tsked and leaned in, your tone turning a bit haughty. “First of all, I think it’s a good thing that he holds those back because have you seen how handsome he is when he smiles? His whole face transforms and he has dimples. Dimples . It’s ridiculous and no one would be able to focus on work if he was blinding us with his smile all the time. And secondly, yes. He’s hilarious, actually. He has a dry sense of humor that gets me every time. And he is so straight-faced about it. I laughed embarrassingly loud once at something he said and I had to leave the room because I couldn’t stop giggling. And the man had the nerve to be smug about it later.”

You shook your head with exasperated fondness, not noticing the raised eyebrows and pointed looks the other ladies were sharing.

“Anyway,” You sighed and leaned back in your chair. “Morgan is my biggest supporter, Reid nerds out with me, Rossi gives the best advice, and Hotch makes me feel safe. All things that would attract me to someone. So, with their powers combined…” You spread your hands in a sweeping motion. “The perfect man.”

“Huh,” Penelope hummed. “You know, I kinda see it.”

“See?” You grinned triumphantly. “We really do work with amazing guys.”

A cry of ‘hear, hear’ sounded around the table and the four of you leaned in to clink glasses.

Emily settled back in her chair with a smirk, her eyes focused on you. “Okay, you waxed poetic about the guys. Now, what about us?”

You grinned. “You, my darling lady loves, all hold a special place in my heart. There’s no way I could choose. You are each the perfect woman.”

Another cheer went up and everyone downed their drinks, laughing merrily.

The outing wound down about half an hour later. You each stumbled your way outside, Emily and Penelope deciding to share a taxi.

You stood with JJ as you waved the other two goodbye; you waiting for your own taxi and JJ waiting for Will to pick her up.

“You know,” she said conversationally, her eyes on the street. “You mentioned Hotch quite a few times describing your perfect man.”

You blinked. “What? I did not.”

She turned to you with a wide grin. “Oh yes, you did. No denying it now.”

You sputtered, not sure how to reply.

She chuckled and laid a hand on your arm, just as your taxi arrived. “Seems to me like he ticks quite a few of the boxes for your perfect man.” She leaned in to whisper, “So what are you going to do about it?”

JJ winked as she stepped back to open the door of the car that pulled in behind your taxi and slid in. “Just think about it, okay?”

You nodded numbly, mechanically climbing into the back seat of the taxi while Will and JJ patiently waited to make sure you were safely on your way.

You mumbled out your address and barely noticed the drive home, arriving much sooner than expected, as your mind was focused on JJ’s words.

You shook your head as you entered your apartment, determined to think no more of it. It was just a silly statement born out of one too many drinks.

There was no way you thought of Hotch that way.

No way at all.

***

The rest of the weekend was miraculously quiet and work-free. You couldn’t remember the last time you had so much time to yourself, so you took full advantage of it.

As days off always tended to do, they flew by too quickly and Monday morning arrived before you were ready for it. You greeted everyone when you entered the department, nodding to Rossi and waving at Morgan and Penelope as you settled in at your desk.

No new case had come in, so today would be an in-office day catching up on paperwork and caseloads.

You were productive throughout the day, completing most of the pending work assigned to you, and you were feeling quite accomplished with the diminishing stack in your inbox.

Only a few minutes remained in the workday when you stood from your chair, stretching your stiff back, and made your way up the stairs to Hotch’s office to drop off an armful of completed reports.

You knocked on his door, only having to wait a second before he bid you enter.

He was focused on the open file in front of him and he didn’t look up until you spoke. “These are ready for you to review, Hotch.”

His eyes shot up to meet yours before dropping to the folders in your arms. He gestured to the corner of his desk nearest you and went back to scribbling notes on the report. “You can just leave them there, thank you.”

You set them down next to another stack and grimaced. There were multiple bundles of files littering his desk. While in-office days were great for clearing your desk of work, it unfortunately always added to Hotch’s workload.

“Looks like everyone had similar offerings for you today. Will you be able to leave at a reasonable hour tonight? I’d be happy to help with anything if you need it.”

Hotch finished the line he was writing and looked up at you through his long lashes, a small, shy kind of smile curving his lips. His cheeks were just a touch pinker than usual and you blinked because you’ve never seen that look on his face before.

He looked almost bashful, a word you would never have associated with Aaron Hotchner.

But damn, was it a good look on him. He really was a handsome man, wasn’t he? Kind, funny, successful, and a great father. He was practically the perfect man.

You froze and blinked again at the realization.

“Oh, uh,” his deep voice broke you from your thoughts. “I appreciate the offer, but I’ve got it covered. I shouldn’t be here too much longer.”

“Right, of course.” You nodded and prayed he couldn’t see the blush you knew was rapidly spreading across your face. “Well, good night, sir.” 

You spun on your heel and opened the door, ready to flee as fast as your feet could carry you.

His low, murmured good night followed you out the door and you nearly shivered because holy hell, even his voice was attractive.

You quickly grabbed your things and nearly sprinted to the elevators, not wanting to stay one second longer around skilled profilers who could read you so easily, knowing they would spot your flushed cheeks instantly and want to know what caused them. Or worse, they’d already know, and that was not something you were ready to discuss with any of them at the moment.

You had fully intended on ignoring JJ’s words from Friday night, but after your reaction just now, you knew she was right.

Hotch was pretty damn close to fitting the idea of your perfect man.

Or maybe, the idea of your perfect man came from Hotch.

You sighed as you entered the thankfully empty elevator, finally admitting to yourself the truth that had been staring you in the face for longer than you’d ever care to admit.

You had it bad for Aaron Hotchner.

Oh, you were in so much trouble.

***

Aaron watched as you left his office, your face a delightful shade of pink.

His eyes followed as you rushed to your desk, snatched up your things, and darted out the door.

He hadn’t meant to overhear Prentiss and Garcia’s conversation that morning as they reminisced over their night out last Friday. He certainly hadn’t meant to linger when they mentioned you and your adorable—according to Garcia—rant about the perfect man. And he most certainly hadn’t meant to lean in rather eagerly when they whispered about just how many times his name had come up as an example during said rant.

He had been pleasantly surprised and somewhat stunned by the information. He’d never thought of himself as an ideal for the perfect man. 

Sure, he supposed he had a few attributes that some women might find appealing. He had a successful career and tried to keep in shape, though that was more for his job than vanity.

But he never imagined that anyone would look at him and think that he was a paradigm of their perfect man. Least of all you.

You were a brilliant profiler, exceptional in the field and able to hold your own in a fight when needed, but you were also caring with the victims and their families. You were witty and kind and easygoing. You were someone who smiled freely and laughed readily and did your best to cheer and encourage the team on tough cases.

Not someone who would think of stoic, hardass Aaron Hotchner as the perfect man.

Still, he hadn’t been able to keep his eyes from drifting to the window of his office throughout the day, seeking you out.

He thought back to when you joined the BAU and how quickly you became not only an essential part of the team but a much-welcomed member of their little family. Everyone adored you and Aaron himself had to admit that you had wormed your way into his heart.

He loved the time he got to spend with you when the team got together to unwind after a case and the little moments of levity you all shared in between working. He recalled the times he managed to make you laugh and the occasions where he found himself chuckling as well. You were easy to talk to and more often than not, the two of you fell into conversation whenever everyone else was either asleep or preferred to be left alone on the jet going to and from cases.

He genuinely enjoyed your company and found himself wishing he could enjoy it more often.

His eyes wandered to the bullpen again, zeroing in on you almost immediately. Prentiss and Morgan were standing by your desk when one of them said something that made you laugh.

Your eyes squeezed shut and your mouth opened to release an enchanting sound of delight. Aaron couldn’t look away and had to admit that you really were quite lovely. Inside and out.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat looking at you but knew it was longer than appropriate. He shook his head and forced himself to focus back on his work.

He managed to shove all thoughts of you from his mind for the remainder of the day until a soft knock sounded on his door late in the afternoon.

He didn’t bother to look up from the report he was notating after giving a gruff come in until he heard your voice.

Aaron couldn’t keep his eyes from darting up to meet yours before dropping them to the large stack of files in your arms.

He gestured for you to place them on the corner of his desk next to the ones Reid had deposited earlier and thought that would be his singular interaction with you for the day.

But then your caring side came out again and you sweetly offered to help him, a proposition that both filled him with fondness and nervousness.

After all his wayward thoughts about you throughout the day, he wasn’t sure if being in close proximity with you was a good idea or not. 

Aaron looked up at you again, the late afternoon sun enveloping you, enhancing your features, and his only thought was that he’d been wrong earlier. 

You weren’t just lovely. You were stunning.

In that moment, he was completely captivated by you and his thoughts ran rampant as he cataloged every minute detail of you. Your beauty, your kindness, your brilliance, and all the little things that made you you . Everything that endeared you to him.

But his thoughts came to a crashing halt when he realized that he was staring at you. He felt his face flush and he stammered as he gently declined your help.

You bid him a good night, but Aaron couldn’t take his eyes off the spreading blush on your cheeks. It kept his attention until you were out of sight.

He blinked and dropped his eyes back to the forgotten report in front of him, a slow smile creeping across his face.

He may not have meant to overhear the conversation that caused him to think about you all day, but he was starting to be glad he had. It seemed it was all he needed to face a few truths he had been in denial about for a long while now.

He was completely and utterly smitten with you.

Now, he just had to decide what to do about it. 

Aaron sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

Oh, he was in so much trouble.

[suashii]

— 𝒿𝑒𝒶𝓁𝑜𝓊𝓈𝓎, 𝒿𝑒𝒶𝓁𝑜𝓊𝓈𝓎 ౨ৎ

suna rintaro x reader. 1.6k wc. ﾉ sfw ﾉ fluff ﾉ college au ﾉ suna and reader are roommates ﾉ jealousy ofc :3 ﾉ + atsumu appearance !

moving in with suna was a bad idea.

he’s not a bad roommate. sure, he takes extra long showers and uses up all the hot water at least once a week and you’ve had to remind him to wash his dishes every now and then, but he’s not a bad roommate.

your frustration that comes with being suna’s roommate has less to do with him and more to do with the feelings you’ve been hellbent on keeping a secret ever since they became known to you a few weeks ago.

that much is getting harder these days with midterms being upon you. there’s been a girl over the apartment—some chick suna was paired with to work on a presentation. that fact alone doesn’t bother you; suna was kind enough to ask before inviting her over. she’s where your problem lies.

she’s shameless, really. always laughs a little too loud at jokes that aren’t that funny and always sits a little too close to suna when you’re positive the coffee table they’re working at isn’t that small. and the worst part is that suna is oblivious to it all.

even now he’s blissfully ignorant of the way she’s not so discreetly flirting with him. she’s supposed to be packing up to leave but, like she’s had some sort of life-changing revelation, she stops in her tracks and turns to suna, placing a hand on his shoulder. “you have a volleyball game this week, right?”

from the kitchen counter, you roll your eyes and stuff another spoonful of rice into your mouth. you wouldn’t normally eat in the kitchen while she was here but one too many spills by your laptop and the inevitable crumbs left in your bed have kept you from taking your meals back to your room. you’re starting to think a sticky keyboard or the unpleasant feel of tiny pieces of food against your skin would be preferable to whatever you’re about to witness.

suna nods and she pulls her hand away to clap. “perfect! i’ll be there to cheer you on!”

her exaggerated excitement causes you to snort, earning the attention of both of them. there’s a curious expression on suna’s face but the girl is all but staring daggers at you like you popped her bubble of joy and ruined the moment. you’re tempted to laugh.

“sorry, saw something funny on my phone,” you lie, shooting the two of them a smile before turning around to wash your dishes.

you dawdle at the sink until you hear the front door close. suna appears as you’re drying your hands and you spare him a glance, wondering if he’ll bring up your strange behavior. part of you hopes he does—maybe then you could open his eyes, finally make him privy to that girl’s blatant attraction to him.

he doesn’t question it, though. instead, he asks, “can i see what you were laughing at?”

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

“you don’t get it, ‘tsumu, she’s actually the worst,” you tell him, dramatically dropping your head on his shoulder.

“why don’t you just leave when you know she’s coming over?”

your eyes cut over to atsumu, an unsavory frown tugging at your lips due to his outrageous suggestion. you can’t believe your best friend would side with her. “why should i? i’m the one who lives here.”

“because, clearly, it’s bothering you.” he isn’t the least bit apologetic for his outlandish recommendation. “look, it’s either that or you come out and tell suna that you like him. i’m tired of hearing you bitch and moan every time i’m here. we’re supposed to be watching them do that.” atsumu points to the screen of your laptop that’s playing some trashy reality show the two of you are hooked on.

you click your tongue at his blunt response, lifting your head from his shoulder. maybe he’s right—complaining won’t get you anywhere, but you’re too proud to tell him so. “hey. this is the thanks i get for putting up with your relationship problems? you ungrateful brat.”

you flick his forehead which elicits a shocked gasp from the blonde. a victorious grin is in the process of making its way to your lips when the plush of one of the many stuffed animals you keep in your room hits your cheek. your jaw drops in surprise at atsumu’s courageous counter.

“i’m going to kill you.”

you aren’t usually one for using your precious plushies as a weapon but any one within your reach is promptly launched at the setter. he dodges some and is whacked by others, all while theatrically screeching for you to stop. you’ve still got some steam left by the time you run out of ammunition and atsumu can tell. he reaches out, taking your wrists in his hands to prevent you from doing anything.

“wait, i’m sorry,” he breathes out, strands of messy hair falling in front of his face. “truce?”

you’re considering whether or not you want to take him up on his offer when your door swings open. suna’s on the other side.

his eyes scan the room, taking in the mess of colorful stuffed animals strewn across the space before they land on you. not you, but the way atsumu’s holding you. something about it makes his jaw tighten.

“hey.” your voice, breathier than usual, convinces suna to meet your eye. “what’s up?”

the scene he walked in on almost made him forget why he’d come by in the first place. “i’m ordering food. do you want anything?”

you hum in contemplation and then smile. “i’ll have whatever you’re having.”

he nods, readying to close the door. “i’ll call you when it’s here.”

the click of the door shutting sounds over the indiscernible voices coming from your laptop. taking your hands back from atsumu, you straighten out your clothes as thoughts of suna cross your mind. he usually finds any way to make a conversation drag, lingering in your doorway even when you’ve told him to leave so you can go to sleep.

you’re about to ask atsumu if he caught on to his friend’s abnormal lack of words, but he’s got another idea.

“yeah, thanks, i don’t want anything,” atsumu shouts at the closed door.

forty minutes pass before the episode ends and atsumu takes his leave. you see him out, planning your next viewing party as he puts on his shoes. he whispers something about settling shit with suna before then so he isn’t subject to your fussing the next time he comes around and darts down the hall before your fist can meet his shoulder.

you make a mental note to get back at him when you see him tomorrow as you shut the door and spin on the ball of your foot. from the foyer, you can see suna situated at the coffee table. there are plastic delivery bags on the surface and he seems to have already started eating from his portion.

“what happened to letting me know when the food was here?” you ask, shuffling over to his figure and plopping down on the floor beside him.

through a mouthful of noodles, he replies, “i didn’t want to interrupt.”

you almost scold him for talking with food in his mouth but then his words register. your eyebrows furrow as you split your wooden chopsticks. “interrupt what, exactly?”

it’s petty, he knows, but he can’t ignore the feeling that’s been gnawing at him since he saw atsumu touching you so comfortably. it’s like the image is seared into his eyelids and he’s forced to see it every time he blinks.

“i don’t know.” he flicks a mushroom with his utensil. “just seemed like you two were in the middle of something when i walked in.”

you hum, not paying much mind to his words as you pick up the stir-fry with your chopsticks. the noodles hang right in front of your lips when you respond, “i guess we kind of were.”

suna frowns at your answer. he wanted to hear you say it was nothing so he could kick himself for being so unreasonably bent out of shape. instead, your reply fuels him to ask the question he’d been wondering about for nearly the past hour. “are you and atsumu together?”

“what?” you sputter around your noodles. you want to tell him no but, unlike suna, you aren’t one for talking with your mouth full. your silence, however, only leads suna to keep going.

“i don’t care if you are but you should have told me so i wouldn’t just barge in on-”

“i’m not dating atsumu,” you finally reveal after swallowing your food. you’re not sure what possesses you to say the next part—perhaps you feel the need to really drive your point home—but it comes out speedily. “i like you.”

quiet blankets the room following your declaration. the two of you stare at each other with parted lips, suna’s eyes slightly widened in surprise. his lack of a response makes your heart beat heavily against your chest. it’s loud in your ears and you wonder if he can hear it too.

you breathe out an awkward laugh after a couple more seconds of silence. “look-”

“i like you, too,” suna admits.

“jeez, suna, you should have just said that!” you slap his shoulder, cheeks warming in belated embarrassment. “i thought i was going to have to move out because of one-sided feelings.”

“sorry.” he chuckles, rubbing the spot you had just hit. it didn’t hurt, but it felt different than the ones he had been met with in the past. he could get used to the tingles you leave behind on his skin. “i had to let it set in.”

thanks for reading! reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated :3

[yandere-writer-momo]

Yandere Baki Series Finale:

Twilight Torture 

Yandere Harem x Fem Reader

TW: horror, yandere behavior, stalking, kidnapping, dark themes, etc.

(Your name) began to recieve numerous gifts after the first bouquet. Roses, jewelry, extravagant dresses, if it cost more than her paycheck, it was gifted to her. And she just couldn’t figure out who brought her those gifts and left them in her home. There was never a sign of break in either… had someone swiped the key?

Turned out they had. Some stranger had her spare key on their clutches and she had been none the wiser for weeks… maybe months. Was that why (your name)’s lips were so swollen in the morning and her hair a tangled mess? Oh god, she didn’t want to think about it… and she didn’t want to believe the midnight man was Hanayama. (Your name) was almost 100% positive he had better things to do than stalk her.

The young woman quickly changed the locks to her home… yet that did little to stop her midnight man.

(Your name) was riddled with paranoia. She now spent the night with Katsumi more often… yet she’d come home to find her sheets in disarray and her door handle changed to a new one. Someone had been angered by her absence… and they changed her locks and left a new key on her counter for her. (Your name) was eager for escape and she always went to Katsumi for that… yet he was off too. He was no longer her sweet first love, but an obsessive beast.

Although she found some solace with Katsumi, he had started to become strange. His grip on her would tighten whenever other men would walk past them. A brief look of possessiveness would flash in his eyes before he was back to normal. His arms no longer felt like home, but like a noose that tightened around her neck. And it terrified her…

Katsumi often tried to push her boundaries to not only be intimate, but to have unprotected intimacy… (your name) had an irrational fear of childbirth and he constantly glossed over her fear for his fantasy of the ultimate claim… a baby.

“We’ve known each other for so many years… we can get married and have kids! I don’t mind if the kids came first, then everyone would know you’re mine!” (Your name) began to spend less time with Katsumi after he told her that… yet that only made the situation worse.

Jack often lingered around (your name)’s home like a shadow, the blonde always gave her a pointed look.

“If you need me to help you, just say the word. I told you that everyone is weird… my address is xxx.” It seemed Jack knew what was going on… an acquaintance knew more about the strange happenings around her than she did. It made (your name) feel even more helpless.

It was the night (your name) broke it off with Katsumi. After she had enough of Katsumi’s attempts to start a family, that she came face to face with her midnight man.

(Your name) was fresh from the bathroom, a thin nightgown her only cover from Hanayama’s starved eyes. The yakuza sat in the chair in the corner of her room, completely unbothered by her pure terror.

“I’ve come to collect you.” Hanayama told her matter of family, the yakuza adjusted his glasses. “Since you’re done playing house with the Orochi boy, you can be my wife.”

There was only a few times she ever interacted with Hanayama and that was whenever he’d be horrifically injured in some outlandish fight he’d land himself in. The man was always taciturn despite her attempts at small talk while she gave him was basic care… what had she done to deserve his twisted affection?

“Hanayama, I-“ (your name) gasped when Hanayama closed the distanced, his large hands pulled her into his even larger body.

“You don’t have to say anything. I know how you feel.” Hanayama bent down and pressed a shaky kiss to the top of her head. “You want me…”

(Your name) threw herself away from him as if she’d been burned. The young woman quickly scrambled out of her home, which left yakuza in shock for a few moments before he gave chase.

(Your name) ran into the night with no destination in mind, a few tears fell down her face. She felt like a rabbit pursued by a wolf. She knew she didn’t stand a chance, but she had to try…

“Did you finally come to your senses?” (Your name) nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw Jack. When had she arrived in his neighborhood? Was this some sort of instinct? “You must have been in a rush since you’re dressed so… improperly.”

Jack threw his jacket over (your name), the scent of pine and musk swallowed her in a tiny bit of comfort.

“I can hear your heart beat from here… you’re terrified.” (Your name) was shocked when Jack scooped her up into his arms. “I’ll take you somewhere safer.”

(Your name) tucked herself into Jack as her body shook like a leaf. She felt a few sobs rack through her, but Jack’s jacket shielded her face from being seen. Who knew this giant could be so kind?

If she would have taken the jacket off her head, she would have seen the subtle, lovesick smile on Jack’s face.

(Your name) was exactly where she belonged… with him. And Jack would protect her with his life.

[hotdaemondtargaryen]

FABIEN FRANKEL AND MATT SMITH DISCUSS THEIR CHARACTERS FOR FORBES MAGAZINE.

frankel talking about criston and daemon:

“They both have a great kind of violence inside of them, and they’re good at it.”

“So, with that kind of mindset, you’re therefore drawn to putting yourself in situations where you can let that violence out, to some extent.”

“I think they’re also kind of both suffering great loss.”

“I think weirdly for Criston, it’s like his loss of freedom.”

“I think once he left being a solider and became a member of King’s Landing, he lost his freedom in his head.”

“Then obviously for Daemon, it’s his brother - loss and violence, I suppose.”

matt smith added:

“I would sort of echo those sentiments, really.”

“I think strangely, as well, when you look at them, they are both at times - they are both kind of frightened little boys, aren’t they, without any real guidance.”

while seated beside frankel during our conversation, matt smith said to his house of the dragon co-star:

“You never really hear about your sort of family back home at all, do you?”

“Perhaps they were quite isolated as young people.”

“There’s a scene in the first season where [our characters] get together and there’s a mini sort of standoff, and I think there’s a recognition in them both that they’re probably more similar than they let on.”

matt smith on daemon targaryen in s2:

“Well, I don’t really judge his decisions too much.”

“I just try and engage in the behavior as truthfully as I can on behalf of him, so to speak.”

“I don’t think, ultimately, he’s very interested in power.”

“I think he’s more interested in chaos and disorder and the thrill of - I don’t know, it’s like being on a jet ski with an axe in your hand, riding towards an army.”

“He lives for whatever that feeling is, if you could kind of bottle that up.”

“When he’s not feeling something akin to that, he just causes problems.”

“He’s outlandish.”

when asking frankel for his thought process as an acting partner with olivia cooke during those heated scenes, he said:

“I don’t want to speak too much to sort of what Olivia and I have spoken about, because I think that it’s for the audience to decide what they see as the sort of justification for the relationship - be that the genuine love or infatuation, or whether it’s a strategic move on either of their parts, because there’s benefits for both of them, I suppose.”

“What I will say is those scenes, in general, really come down to having an amazing director and Clare Kilner, who helmed sort of the majority of mine and Olivia’s kind of romantic-type scenes, made that such a collaborative experience and such an easy one.”

“Thankfully, Olivia is a great friend and very easy to work with.”

i was curious as to what smith and frankel would say to their somewhat enigmatic characters, if only they could.

instead of answering for his own character first, smith jokingly said of frankel’s criston:

Well, I’d go up to Criston Cole and I’d go, ‘Mate, you need to change your wardrobe. You’re always in that.’

frankel added with his message for criston:

“I think I’d say - take a holiday, son.”

“I think he’s just like been - he needs to get out of there for a moment.”

“That trip to Essos sounds pretty lovely, really.”

“Get himself some fresh oranges and make a mimosa.”

matt smith concluded:

“I’d say to Daemon - have you thought of going dark?”

“Hair color, really.”

“Have you thought of a ‘new hair, new you’ sort of thing?”

“It might change your perspective.”

[kyuuumie]

random sfw billdip headcanons (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

headcanons below the cut (๑◕◡◕๑)

🌲 - dipper often reminds bill that he’s human and will die eventually, to which bill either scoffs, claiming he’ll just drag dipper back from the afterlife, or outright avoids the topic, unwilling to even entertain the idea.

⚠️ - bill loves showing off his vast knowledge of the universe, but dipper constantly questions and challenges him, which secretly delights bill because dipper’s curiosity is one of the things he adores most.

🌲 - dipper spends nights pouring over ancient texts and magical lore, while bill lazily hovers over his shoulder, correcting dipper’s translations or making fun of the humans who wrote the texts.

⚠️ - bill’s idea of a date is often something surreal, like visiting a nightmare dimension or exploring dreamscapes. dipper complains at first but ends up being intrigued by the strangeness.

🌲 - dipper is prone to overthinking and insomnia, so bill, who doesn’t need sleep, often floats around the room narrating absurd dream stories or weird facts to help dipper relax.

⚠️ - when they argue, bill tends to get loud and dramatic, sometimes altering reality to prove his point, while dipper stays calm and logical, which drives bill crazy.

🌲 - dipper has a fear of thunderstorms, and although bill doesn’t fully understand why he would be afraid of something harmless, he awkwardly tries to comfort dipper, sometimes making the thunder quieter or altering the storm to be less frightening.

⚠️ - bill will sometimes alter reality slightly, like changing the color of the sky to match dipper’s favorite shade of blue or making stars form constellations spelling out embarrassing messages of love.

🌲 - dipper struggles with trusting bill fully, always keeping one eye open for tricks, but deep down, he knows that bill wouldn’t harm him at this point—if he wanted to, he already had plenty of chances.

⚠️ - bill often has fantasies of apocalyptic scenarios where he and dipper rule over a broken world together, though he’s never shared it with dipper because he knows how much dipper values the world’s stability.

🌲 - whenever dipper has a nightmare, bill immediately senses it and dives in, reshaping the dream into something less scary, though he often makes it weird and chaotic instead.

⚠️ - bill gets incredibly jealous when dipper spends too much time with other people, making passive-aggressive comments or causing minor reality glitches as a sign of his displeasure.

🌲 - dipper constantly acts as bill’s moral compass, reminding him that not everything needs to end in chaos or destruction. this creates a strange dynamic where bill tries (and often fails) to tone down his destructive tendencies for dipper’s sake.

⚠️ - bill warps time whenever dipper is about to miss something important, like giving him an extra few hours to finish a project or study. dipper gets annoyed because it’s technically cheating, but he appreciates it.

🌲 - dipper sometimes struggles with the moral implications of being in love with someone as dangerous as bill, but he ultimately decides that love isn’t always black and white, and his feelings are genuine despite the risks.

⚠️ - bill constantly tries to make deals with dipper, offering outlandish rewards in exchange for little things like affection or time together. dipper always refuses, but bill keeps trying, purely for fun.

🌲 - dipper isn’t afraid to call bill out on his more questionable behavior, and though bill laughs it off, dipper knows that bill respects him more for being able to stand his ground.

⚠️ - bill struggles with human etiquette, often forgetting small social norms. dipper has to remind him not to laugh maniacally in public or avoid turning a small argument into a reality-warping event.

🌲 - dipper finds it hard to express his deeper emotions around bill, knowing that bill thrives on control and chaos. but in rare moments, he lets his guard down, and bill responds with surprising tenderness.

⚠️ - bill tries to cook for dipper but ends up using ingredients that are barely edible. dipper appreciates the effort, even if the food is... questionable.

🌲 - dipper’s natural curiosity sometimes drives him to ask bill questions about the darker aspects of the universe. while bill is more than willing to indulge, dipper always keeps a careful boundary between curiosity and crossing into moral grey areas.

⚠️ - bill sometimes reads dipper’s thoughts and responds to them before dipper can even say anything, which dipper finds both unsettling and endearing.

🌲 - dipper has become so desensitized to the supernatural that bizarre occurrences, like reality warping or bill’s eldritch transformations, no longer faze him.

⚠️ - bill often hints at his ability to make dipper immortal, teasing him with the idea of an eternity together, though dipper isn’t sure if bill is serious or just messing with him.

[noahsresources]

MUSE RELATIONSHIP HEADCANON GAME !

send me a 🩵 and i'll answer the following regarding our muses' relationship! if you can't see the emoji, send 'light blue heart'!

who curses more?

who is more patient?

who does the driving?

who is louder? who is quieter?

who is more physically affectionate?

who is more likely to tease the other?

who is better with time management?

who wins the arm wrestling matches?

who controls the music in the car ride?

who covers dinner when they order in?

who is more outgoing? who is more shy?

who has the more outlandish fashion sense?

who starts the tickle fights? who ends them?

who has the darker/more "edgy" sense of humor?

who is more competitive when it comes to games?

who has the bigger appetite? the bigger sweet tooth?

who is more likely to get in a confrontation in public?

who hosts the parties/hangouts? who organizes them?

who is better at cooking? do they ever cook for each other?

who is more likely to engage in dangerous and/or illegal behavior?

who is more likely to notice when something is wrong with the other?

who does the talking in public settings (i.e. to the waiter at a restaurant)?

who is more likely to extend a helping hand & provide emotional support?

who is the bigger prankster? do they get the last laugh or do they suffer for it?

[holdupjack]

You're An Idiot…My Idiot

——————

Pairing: Hermione Granger x Fem!Reader

AU: Reader is a Ravenclaw

WARNING: Injury and awkward fluff

——————

Third Person P.O.V:

7th Year

Hermione sat in the bleachers with Luna as they watched the final Quidditch game of the season before the Championships. People cheered and booed all around them as they watched the Gryffindor VS Ravenclaw game.

Ron and Harry sped over the stands they kept their heads in the game, Harry soon took off towards another area as Ron stayed near the goal.

A flash of blue almost smacked Hermione in the face as it went by, but the familiar scent of a certain Ravenclaw made her eyes roll.

Y/n Y/l/n.

What was there to say about such a girl?

They weren't the best of friends, but they weren't enemies either. It's more like an artful dance of flirting and annoyance that they both have mastered around each other.

Hermione despised her arrogant and cocky attitude, with a fiery passion. The way she walked around like her shit didn't stink, always sent the Gryffindor up a wall.

Yet Y/n seemed to make it her life's mission is spin around the drain of Hermione's inner circle, almost like she wanted to be sucked into her presence even more.

The brunette wouldn't let that happen, just because Y/n was attractive, didn't mean Hermione had to give her a seat in her lifestyle.

"Y/n is very much showboating this game," Luna says as she watches her team zigzag around the field.

Hermione watched as the y/h/c girl seemed to be making a show as she chased after the golden snitch. She dodged wooden beams and pillars as she followed it closely, Harry was on her tail but seemed to be lagging behind.

"When doesn't she showboat?" Hermione grumbled as the blonde beside her gave a dreamy laugh.

"I've never understood your dislike for Y/n, I understand she can be a bit much, but she seems to genuinely enjoy your company," Luna says as people cheer around them because of a Gryffindor Chaser scoring a goal.

"She is so sleazy! Why would I entertain that type of person with my time?" Hermione says, to which Luna just shrugged. Her eyes looked at the brunettes for a moment but then flicked back to the game.

The tense grit in her jaw, how straight her back was, and the fiddling of her fingers gave Hermione away quite easily.

Luna had begun to spot Hermione at every Ravenclaw game since the beginning of the fifth year. It didn't matter if Gryffindor was playing or not, she never missed a game.

There had been a rumor going around that Y/n and Hermione were seen talking in an empty hallway, and it looked more like flirting than actual conversation.

Those rumors were quickly thwarted when everyone saw them back in their bickering behavior in the coming days.

"You fancy her" she states.

Hermione's eyes widened at the statement. That was outlandish! She had never felt any romantic feelings for Y/n!

Well...

Ugh, she couldn't believe she had been figured out by one of her friends, and that she had actually fallen for the Ravenclaw's charms!

It was humiliating, honestly.

Y/n had caught her alone in an empty hallway sometime at the early start of the fifth year. It had been normal, for the most part. Hermione rolled her eyes and scoffed at every pickup line she tried, but then she said something that caught her off guard.

"I need your help"

Y/n had never been one to ask for help, EVER.

So, to hear it come from her mouth was almost like hearing the devil say 'please'. It even made her slack-jawed in awe from hearing it as they stood in that empty hallway.

The Ravenclaw soon pulled out her grades from last year and showed Hermione that she had completely failed Alchemy the entire year.

She was being forced to retake it.

Hermione had shifted from foot to foot in the debate about whether she should help her greatest annoyance.

"Please Hermione, you're the smartest girl I know...and I truly need your help"

Something changed in the Gryffindor's heart, maybe because of the overzealous ego that Y/n seemed to be missing at this moment, or how she started to notice how beautiful her eyes were in the sunlight.

"Alright, alright. Meet me in the dungeons after dark, I'll help you."

Hermione then smiled at her. Another historic moment for the two, Y/n almost wanted to take a picture. If only she had a camera on her...

That was years ago now, and both had been meeting up in the old Potions classroom every night to study or just talk.

Y/n acted completely different when they were alone, so soft and caring. Her smile wasn't cocky, and her laugh was light and airy.

So, you could imagine when Hermione started to be pulled in by her charms.

"That's ridiculous!" Hermione replied with a face as scarlet as a letter, Luna just chuckled and looked back onto the field.

Harry and Y/n flew side by side as they chased after the snitch, both had grins on their faces as they tried to outmaneuver one another.

They were good friends, both having practiced together many times during their time at Hogwarts. They were the best of the best when it came to school level, and Hermione wouldn't be surprised if Y/n went on to be a professional.

Y/n flew to the other side of Harry as they slipped past the high-rise stands. Hermione was sure that one of them was going to kick someone in the head.

People began to murmur as they saw the Beaters looking around frantically. They seemed to have lost sight of the Bludger. Never a good sign.

"Bouncing Bludger!" People called out as a warning.

Harry suddenly ducked down as he heard a loud zipping noise headed his way. He obviously had flashbacks to the second year when he broke his arm because of one.

Sadly, Y/n didn't take in the noise before it was too late. A collective gasp took over the crowd when the ball smacked into Y/n's side at high speed, knocking her off her broom and slamming her into the walkway between the bleachers and railing.

She skidded for a few moments her body rolling and slamming onto the ground as friends and teammates ran/flew to her aid immediately. Harry watched in anguish as he saw his friend lay on the floor of the bleachers, unmoving.

"Oh my god," Hermione whispers as she pushes her way down to the main floor with Luna on her heels. People murmured around them as Madam Hooch ran to Y/n's side and checked her over.

"We need to get her to Hospital Wing, any able-body boys, I need you to carry her!" she yells as Ron lands beside them and drops his broom.

Hermione shoved her way through the crowd, whispering quiet apologies as she basically elbowed everyone in front of her. Luna held the back of her shirt as she followed in her wake.

When they finally broke through the barrier of people, Ron slowly picked her up into his arms. Y/n looked so fragile as her arm dangled.

Hermione stood there, staring as Ron walked away with Madam Hooch in quick steps. People's whispers seemed to get louder when she began to follow close behind them.

Harry flew down near the railing and called out to his female best friend as he followed beside her. Yet, she completely ignored him and everyone else as she stared at Y/n's head, which was lobed over the edge of Ron's forearm.

Luna stayed back and watched Hermione's actions with a knowing look. The way her body was loose and nervous, yet she just gazed at the unconscious Ravenclaw in her friend's arms like she was witnessing a car accident.

Hermione didn't know how to feel, or think.

Her body went into autopilot.

——————

She sat on the bench outside the hospital wing as friends, teammates, and some teachers went and checked on her. Y/n had woken up once, but Madam Promfrey quickly put her back to sleep due to the broken ribs and her groans of pain,

It was now almost one in the morning, everyone had gone to bed for the night. The only people in that part of the castle were the biggest rivals in the school.

Hermione's foot shook as she gathered the courage to get off this bench and finally walk in.

She was nervous to see Y/n in a state that wasn't what she was used to. To see her broken and bruised...was going to be foreign.

Quietly she stood up and walked towards the big doors, she slowly opened them, and they squeaked loudly.

Hermione cursed to herself as she decided to leave it open. Her eyes scanned the moonlit room to find only one occupant of the beds.

Y/n laid on her back as her chest rose and fell slowly. Her white school shirt showed that her sides were bandaged and tightly wrapped around her skin.

The Gryffindor carefully stepped closer as she watched for any sudden movements or to hear any discomfort leave Y/n's lips.

When she finally sat down on the chair beside the hospital bed and looked upon the Ravenclaw's face. She was peaceful, oblivious to the amount of pain her body was in.

Hermione didn't know what to do, or why she was even still up this late at night for someone she only knew in the dark.

Maybe that's why? Nighttime was the only place where they saw each other's true colors. Spoke without any malice or anger.

Her hand slowly laid itself beside Y/n's, her finger caressing the girl's knuckles. Silent affection, something only she would know about when day broke again.

"You've done it Y/l/n. You've got me under your spell...I hope you're proud" Hermione whispers as she stares her their hands, feeling how cold Y/n's hand is compared to hers.

"You're freezing" she whispers as she stands up and walks over to a cabinet full of blankets and other equipment.

"I don't know why Madam Promfrey insists on keeping the wing so cold!" Hermione grumbled as she grabbed a blanket and shut the cabinet closed with a small 'huff'.

When she walked back over, she unraveled the folded polyester and draped it across the injured girl. Her hands glided carefully around Y/n's sides to make sure the heat of her body helped her broken ribs heal a little faster.

Hermione leaned over her unconscious form as she carefully tucked the blanket around her, as she moved up towards her shoulders, their faces were almost nose to nose.

She leaned away slightly but stared for another moment as she noticed the bruises along her jaw and cheek.

"That fall did a number on you too" Hermione whispered as she reached up and took a hold of Y/n's chin, gently moving her head so she could get a better look at the purple marks.

She sighed softly and sat back in the chair, her legs crossing as she debated on what to do next. A big part of her wanted to stay, but another didn't want to put any more suspicion on their 'unlabeled relationship'.

Was it friendly or turning into more?

It was obvious that Hermione had grown quite fond of the Y/n under the cover of the dark, but was that truly who she was?

Or was the arrogant and cocky asshole during the day her true personality?

This question made Hermione want to rip her hair out. It was the only part that she couldn't get a clear answer on.

"You are so infuriating" Hermione mumbled quietly as she looked away and out threw the window. She could see owls flying out of the Owlry, their silhouettes dancing across the moon.

She heard a big intake of breath before a pained grunt came from Y/n. Hermione's eyes quickly fell back on her as she brought the chair closer to the bed.

"I know" she whispers as her hand reaches up and pushes away some hair that was stuck to Y/n's forehead.

It was quiet as Hermione calmed down Y/n by running her fingers through her hair. Watching as the Ravenclaw seemed to be craving her touch.

"You're such an idiot sometimes. Why don't you listen to your teammates?" She asks in an annoyed tone as she thinks back on the incident from many hours ago. Y/n silently groaned in pain as she nudged her head against Hermione's palm.

"You can't guilt me out of giving you a lecture once you wake up" she hums as her hand caressed Y/n's forehead, she could feel the heat radiating from it.

It's silent as Hermione does more than any rival should do, but she feels guilty that the Ravenclaw didn't have anyone who wanted to stay and watch over her during this.

"You need to find a girlfriend. I can't be the one to take care of you during times like this" she hummed quietly as she moved her hand away. Y/n groans again, whether, from the pain or the now sudden lack of contact, Hermione isn't sure.

"Then again...I'd more than likely come sit by you if this happens again" she sighed as she started to use unconscious Y/n as a therapist. It made her chuckle slightly about it.

"This is ridiculous! Why are you so charming to me now?" Hermione huffs in annoyance as she crosses her arms. A small hue of scarlet red flooded onto her face.

"Fine. You're cute, I'll give you that." She admits with an annoyed sigh as she looks everywhere but Y/n.

"How can I fancy you? I've despised your very presence since we've met!" The Gryffindor mumbles as her eyes follow the detail of the stone walls.

She was silent for a while, listening to the soft breathing of the Ravenclaw beside her as her mind stumbled over itself with different thoughts.

"I'll admit it. Alright?" She sighs with another annoyed tone. Hermione hated admitting she had been wrong, especially about how she truly felt about things.

"I've fallen for the sound of your voice, and the kindness you show me when it's just the two of us. Or how you seem to look at me like...I can't explain it, it's like-" she's cut off.

"Like you're the only person in the room that matters"

Hermione turned in shock to hear a dry and raspy voice coming from the bed beside her. Y/n eyes were open, but tired still. She had a weak smile, yet it seemed very genuine.

They stared at one another, Hermione's breathing was audible but soft. Her hands gripped her jeans, trying to convince herself that she wasn't hallucinating. Y/n's hand slipped out from under the blanket and waited patiently to be taken.

Hermione sat nervously as she hesitated, her eyes flickering between Y/n's hand and eyes. The Ravenclaw waited patiently, continuing to look at her with a soft smile.

"How can I trust you?" Hermione asked as she looked back at her, their gaze tense and unbreaking.

"I've loved you since our first Potions class together" Y/n whispered, surprising the Gryffindor once again. All the way back to first-year?

"Then why..." Hermione drifts off as she thinks of every time they've gotten into an argument or pushed each other's buttons on purpose.

"It's the only way you'd talk to me! Thank Merlin I failed Alchemy, or else this might of never happened" Y/n chuckles softly as Hermione slips her hand into hers. It was warm now.

Y/n's thumb subconsciously ran over Hermione's knuckles as they continued to stare at one another.

"Go out with me Granger, tomorrow," Y/n asked with a grin, which Hermione chuckled at.

"You're still on bed rest for your broken ribs" she states, to which the Ravenclaw groans about.

"I'll sneak out, meet me in Irondale" Y/n says and Hermione rolls her eyes with a playful smile as she places her other hand between the space below her chest and above her stomach.

"I'll bring you some Ice Cream tomorrow as compensation, please stay in bed," Hermione asks nicely and Y/n grumbles like an upset first-year.

"Alright, but as soon as I'm released then?" Y/n asks with a smile as she squeezes the Gryffindor's hand.

"Maybe" Hermione teased as they began to quietly laugh together, their chuckles echoing around them in the empty Hospital Wing.

Y/n hissed and touched her sides.

"Don't make me laugh" she whispers with a pained smile, to which Hermione quickly apologized and moved her chair closer. Looking at the potions on the nightstand beside the bed.

"When did you take these?" she asks as her hand leaves Y/ns and starts to pick up bottles, reading the labels carefully.

"You tell me," Y/n says with a grin as she tries to lay at her side, but Hermione quickly scolds her.

"Don't you dare! You have broken ribs!" she says with a sigh as she watches Y/n roll her eyes and lay back down.

"Here, this is for pain relief. It says take every four hours, and you've been knocked out long past that" Hermione hums as she pours the liquid into a small cup, Y/n makes a face as the smell of it hits her nose.

"Please don't make me pour it down your throat" Hermione states as she holds the cup for her. They looked at each other with playful glares.

"It smells like horse piss 'Mione" Y/n says as she slowly sat u. Her ribs felt as though they were on fire, causing her to curse and hold back some tears.

Hermione took her hand and held it against her back to alleviate some of the pain. It seemed to help slightly.

"I know, but it's good for you" she replied as she placed the cup in the Ravenclaw's hands.

"Maybe so, but I need a little convincing" Y/n says through pained breaths as she smiles. Hermione raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"How so?" She asks as Y/n places her hand on the side of her neck and pulls the brown-haired girl towards her.

Hermione smiled when she stood out of her chair and kissed the Ravenclaw. Their lips moved simultaneously, their hands grasping each other's faces with passion.

Each kiss felt more irresistible than the last, to the point that Y/n desperately whispered 'no' when Hermione began to pull away.

"Drink, then we'll see about another one " she whispered back as she sat back in the chair, her face pink and her lips smudged with Y/n's peppermint chapstick.

Y/n was quick to down the potion like a shot of Fire Whiskey. To which she soon regretted when her face contorted and she started to cough from the taste.

As she gagged and hacked from the horrendous flavor, she grasped her sides in pain.

"Sweet Merlin, knock me out" she said through wheezes as Hermione rubbed her back comfortingly.

Eventually Y/n was able to calm herself and lay back down on the bed. Hermione covered her back with the blanket and sighed softly.

"You're an idiot" she said with a sigh as Y/n grasped her hand and smiled.

"Your idiot"

"I haven't claimed you"

"Yet! I'm putting it into the universe now" Y/n hums as she shuts her tired eyes and lets the potion start to relax her body.

"Oh god," Hermione whispers as she stands up and dusts off her jeans. Owls booted as they passed by the window.

"Get some sleep-"

Y/n quickly grabbed her wrist and gave a soft, but pleading look. This shocked the Gryffindor. Y/n was never this openly touchy.

"Don't go"

Hermione looked at her as a small smile crept into her lips, she looked away to hide her charmed facial expression.

"If you wish" she says as she sits back in the chair and takes Y/n's hand into hers. Their palms fit perfectly against one another.

Y/n relaxed as she began to fall asleep again, her eyes fluttering shut to the comfort of Hermione's watchful gaze.

The room felt safe.

——————

Hermione soon woke up to the sun shining in her eyes, she groaned as she sat up and cursed the chair for putting a knot in her back

When her eyes focused, she found Y/n reading the Daily Prophet with an annoyed look on her face. Hermione yawned and caught her attention.

"Look at this! I look like roadkill!" Y/n huffed as she showed the front page of the article, it was a moving picture of Y/n passed out on the bleacher floor.

"Quidditch Player Bludgeoned!" Hermione read out the headline and snickered slightly as Y/n just huffed in anger again.

"That's a stupid play on words" she grumbled as Madam Promfrey walked back with a snicker of her own.

"I liked it" she said with a smile as she took care of a sick third-year a few beds away.

"Hey!" Y/n groaned as Hermione placed the paper down and chuckled, the air between them was light and fun.

Y/n looked back at her and sighed, the sun shining on her back as it cast her shadow on the bed.

"So...do you want to talk about last night?" Y/n asks and Hermione feels her cheeks heat up at the remembrance of it.

"Yes, we should" she replied as she scooted closer, hoping to keep the conversation as private as possible.

Y/n gently gazed upon her, her eyes seemed to glow as the backlight of the sunshine shimmered around her.

They both were nervous to hear what the other would say, which led them to just look at one another to start the conversation.

"Would you still like to go out to Irondale with me? After I get released, of course." Y/n whispers as her eyes fall to the palms of her hands. A nervous silence grew between them as Madam Promfrey pretended she wasn't listening in.

"I would like that, a lot" Hermione whispers as a shared smile breaks out on their faces. The room felt warmer as their cheeks turned a cotton candy color (or candy floss if you really want to get British).

——————

They spoke quietly together as the day turned to night once again, Y/n eventually convincing Hermione to go back to her dorm and get a good night's rest.

But as soon as Hermione's head hit that pillow, she began to toss and turn. To the point that Ginny threw a pillow at her to make her stop moving.

"I can't help it!" Hermione whispered as she sat up and threw the bundle of feathers back at her. Ginny just sighed as she caught it and laid back with it covering her face in annoyance.

"Just go see her then! Everyone has been talking about you two today" Ginny muffled through the cloth as a few other girls hummed in agreement as they pretended to be asleep.

"Of course, this school spreads gossip quicker than the flu" Hermione grumbles as she throws the covers off and slips on her shoes. A few of the girls chuckled as they sat up as well and turned on the light.

"I find it cute," Lavender says with a smile as she yawns softly. Ginny snickered and moved the pillow off her face, watching as Hermione seemed to be burning with embarrassment.

"I hate you all" the leather-haired beauty grumbled as she walked towards the door.

"But we love you!" The girls yelled back in a fit of giggles as the door slammed shut. Hermione could hear them cackling as she quickly made her way down to the common room.

It was empty and dark, it looked as though someone had put off the fireplace for the night. Her feet made the steps creak as she walked down to the main floor, her arms crossed against her chest as the chilly air hit the skin of her forearms.

She huffed softly as she shimmied her way through the tunnel and out to the hall on the other side.

The paintings snored softly as she made her way to the Hospital Wing. Only a few were up to ask the young Gryffindor where she was off to, to which she replied 'Better sleeping arrangements'. It was a strange response, but they didn't push any further.

When Hermione made it to the wing, it was dark and cold, just like the night before. Except, Y/n was up.

"Hermione? What are you doing here?" She asks when she hears steps enter the room. Hermione just grumbled something incoherent and got into the empty bed next to Y/n's.

Y/n chuckled and watched the Gryffindor get under the covers and turn her back towards her.

"Missed me?"

"Shut up."

Y/n began to laugh, now that her ribs were almost fully healed it didn't hurt as much to do so anymore.

"Just admit it, Granger, you're in love with me already" Y/n says to which Hermione flips her off and covers her head with the pillow.

Hermione felt her face burn so hot that she was sure the pillowcase could catch ablaze. Y/n's continuous chuckles didn't help either. Soon enough, it got quiet, and the sound of the wind rattled the windows near them.

Hermione rolled over and rested the pillow back under her head as she caught eyes with Y/n across from her.

"This doesn't mean anything" she whispers as the Ravenclaw grinned.

"It means everything" Y/n replied.

"You're overthinking things"

"I'm your overthinker"

"Still trying to get me to claim you?"

"Slowly but surely!"

Hermione chuckled softly as she looked at her with a soft gaze, her heart thumping inside her chest.

"Fine. You're an idiot...my idiot"

They both began to laugh as they lay on either bed and started to talk the night away quietly, soon falling asleep with their hands dangling over the sides. Fingers brushing the others whenever a breath was taken.

Futures started to form in their dreams.

[pinkeos]

it makes me chuckle to imagine aventurine with a rich!reader who came from a wealthy and influential family who's just as much of a spender as he is

the courting stage would just be you two competitively, in a lighthearted way, trying to one up the other when it came to gifts

he'd buy you a bouquet, you'd buy him one too but much bigger. he'd respond by sending you rare flowers from a far away planet, you'd respond by having a greenhouse full of different flowers from different planets, all for him

he'd offer to eat dinner with you at a fancy restaurant and just one look from the other, you already know where this is headed. you spent a long time trying to decide which restaurant to go to because the other always recommended a different one, insisting the food there was better than the other

he once complained about how taking his car to work was a nightmare because of the recent traffic and you sent a spaceship his way the next day to pick him up

don't even get started with shopping together om

even though you both talked in money and spent so much in material gifts, you still make sure you don't just offer him those but also yourself. as expensive as your dates maybe, most of them are still ones where you could enjoy yourselves in each other's presence

others thought that the outlandish and ridiculous gifts would end or at least lessen when you start officially dating, but boy were they wrong

there was one time he nonchalantly offered to give topaz one of his yachts, insisting that you gave him too much and that you wouldn't mind what he'd do to them as long as he's happy. the face topaz was making was very much screaming ‘wtf?’

all that aside though, it'd be angsty to add that your family doesn't approve of you dating aventurine because he didn't come from a prominent family, typical rich family behavior

they only accepted him as your lover not because they liked him, but because he's part of the ten stonehearts and had a high ranking position sadge