#pfft nah you're fine

[babocka]

Tag drop: General. Some of these may be subject to change, but for now, pretty happy!

[speedycoffeedelight]

Hello! I've returned with more 'Reader helps get everyone a job' scenarios! And this time, not anon ✨️

Also, so happy to see you referenced my first ask, really made my day!

Anyway, scenarios begin.

~

Reader: Velvette, this is the second job you've been fired from since you got here. There isn't exactly many clothing store in town and if you keep getting fired, you'll be deemed 'unhireable'.

Velvette: *Rolling her eyes on her phone* I don't see why you're so bothered by that, I'm already a small time influencer and with the way I'm manipulating the algorithm, I'll be monetised in no time. Besides, the clothes they sold there weren't even good enough for a dumpster fire.

Reader: Anyway... There's atleast 2 more clothing stores available before we have to start looking elsewhere, a sports clothes store and a thrift shop.

Velvette: Pfft, thrift shop? You can't in your right mind think I'd be touching second han- wait. *Types on her phone* Thifting is in, sign me up! And then call Princess in here, her little lamb form is guaranteed to get me more likes then that bitch Geraldine's yappy mutt in socks and sunglasses.

~

Reader: Lute, I don't mean to be insulting or anything but I'm not sure if you could handle being a supermarket security guard. It can be a very dangerous job.

Lute: I understand you're concerns but allow me to lay them to rest with a quick demonstration of my capabilities.

*Lute quickly tackles Sir Pentious to the ground and pins him as he shouts a quick 'Why me?!'*

~

Adam: Listen Babe, I don't see what the issue is.

Reader: Adam, the bar is looking for a live band to there regularly, not a solo guitarist. Now I'm sure you are a wonderful singer-songwriter but they're not looking for a solo musician.

Adam: *Crossing arms* Fine. What other jobs are there.

Reader: Plenty, and almost all of them are places we've already got someone in so they can recommend you and you're pretty much guaranteed to be hired.

Adam: Okay Babe, fire away.

Reader: Well, the local cafés looking for another waiter (Charlies workplace).

Adam: Uh, pass.

Reader: The fast food joint needs another cashier. (Vaggies workplace)

Adam: Next.

Reader: The restaurant-dinner is willing to train up a sous-chef with no prior experience or qualifications (Angels/Husks workplace).

Adam: Eh, I don't cook.

Reader: The council is hiring more trash collectors, it sounds bad but has incredibly good pay (Niftys workplace).

Adam: As much as I'm down for driving a massive truck, somethings telling me to stay away from that little freak. She might stab me in the back or something.

Reader: You also don't have a driving license. Anyway, the radio station is hiring a files clerk (Alastors workplace).

Adam: They play rock or metal?

Alastor: *From another room* Nope!

Adam: Then, nah.

Reader: *Muttering to self* And I don't think you can work for the mechanics without a driving license either (Cherris workplace).

Reader: The florist is hiring. (Lucifers workplace).

Adam: *Fake gags*

Reader: What about working at that bowling alley and arcade pizzeria? (Voxs workplace)

Adam: *Sticks out tongue*

Reader: The clothing store? (Velvettes workplace)

Adam: *Raises eyebrow*

Reader: The local supermarket? (Lutes workplace)

Adam: *Pours slightly*

Reader: *Sighs and starts rubbing temple* Well, the only other places available is the post office and that steakhouse on the outskirts of town.

Adam: Steakhouse? Now that's what I'm talking about! Sign me up straight away.

Reader: I thought you said you don't cook.

Adam: Listen Babe, it's grilling, not cooking. Big difference. Besides, I literally invented the grill, you know? It's like 1 of the top 5 best ideas I ever had, you know, right next to naming a bunch of birds 'tits'.

Reader: You invented the grill? That's actually kinda impressive.

Lucifer: Don't flatter him, love. He had to invent a whole new way of cooking meat or else he'd have starved everytime Eve made him sleep on the coach.

Adam: HEY!

HEYYY!! Good to see you back again!! <⁠(⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)⁠>

Yeah , velvette gonna be a real bitch(HAH-) working at stores. She won't settle for anything that's not up to her taste.

* Reader sighing in the corner trying to find more shops.*

Poor Pentious, he had to be the example 🤣🤣

*the cast and reader giving Pentious concerned glances*

And there's Adam, the first man who can't settle on one job( just like girls- *gets shot in the head*). I can definitely see him inventing grilling like this 😂😂

Thank you yet again for your creative and unique headcannons! I truly enjoy reading them!! ✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧

[an0nymousmessenger]

For I'll Keep Every Promise

Synopsis: He wakes up. Word Count: 2.4k tags. fluff, angst, happy ending Sequel to 'A Thousand Wishes Unheard' note: I was going to post this later but I think you guys need it. Ao3 Link

Darkness. That was all he could see. He felt nothing– as if he was floating in a neverending void.

He was dead.

He had to be. He remembers the bitter taste of blood coating his mouth– the way he struggled and choked on the very thing that ran through his skin. He recalls the loud ringing in his ear, growing ever louder as his vision faded out.

Well, he supposed he tried his best. Really. He gave it his all.

It just wasn’t enough.

What remained of his heart ached. He supposed he wasn’t able to fulfill his promise to you. He hopes you won’t blame him…he had held on till the very end.

Death wasn’t so bad. Before he went he was able to see his students, laughing and smiling, he even got to hold you close before he had left. Not to mention he even saw his friends again, and he had gotten to say goodbye. 

He had no regrets.

Well…he supposes there is still one that lodges itself in the back of his mind.

It was you.

He had never gotten the chance to…

“Satoru,”

He turned his head to look at you, who was savoring your lollipop as you leaned back on the balcony.

Lemon flavored. The very sour kind.

He had a snide suspicion that it was to keep him away from stealing it…

“Satoruu~” you repeated, drawing his attention again.

“Hm?”

You flash him a smile, the kind of smile that lets him know that you are about to either stir up trouble or say something random.

It was the latter.

“What do you want to do when you're older?”

He snorts, “What kind of question is that? Of course– a sorcerer.” He wanted to add ‘what else?’ but decided it was obvious enough. Adding the last part would also ruin his good mood. His path has already been pre-designed and pre-routed for him. He has no other choice.

“No, what I mean is if all this didn’t exist.”

“Aw~ are you saying you would rather not have met me?” He sings out in a fake-pained voice, knowing that it was not what you meant.

You roll your eyes, having been used to his antics for a few years now, “Perhaps,” you say with a playful smile, “Who knows? Maybe I’ll be better off.”

“Nah, I doubt it.”

You sigh before turning to face him. You widen your eyes when you notice he is already looking at you, but quickly move on, but Satoru doesn’t let the red creeping up on the tip of your ears go unnoticed. “I’m saying if you didn’t have cursed energy and stuff…like normal people, you know?”

He wanted to laugh and point out that it sounded like you were indicating that people like you and him were the odd ones, but he decided to let it slide.

“I dunno, maybe I’ll start a singing career, something like that.”

“Pfft, so what? That you’ll get even more admirers and fans?”

“Exactly! What? Don’t you agree? My face is pleasant to look at.”

Scoffing, you say, “One of these days I’ll make sure to crush that ego of yours.”

He rolls his eyes before looking back out at the school grounds, watching the sun slowly set behind the forest of trees. Although he had said the first thing that came from the top of his mind, he supposed singing wouldn’t be that far reached. 

After all, he excelled at everything. 

"How about you?" he asks. "Do you have something in mind already?" 

Observing the setting sun, you reply, "Mhm, yeah. Something like that." 

"Really?" He sounds surprised, not realizing how seriously you were considering it. "What is it?" 

Hesitating, you eventually respond, "It's... nothing." 

His interest is immediately piqued. 

"Come on! What's your idea? Share it with me!" He playfully pesters you with a grin. 

"No!" 

"You can't tease me like that! I told you mine, didn't I?" He whines a bit more before eventually coaxing it out of you.

It was when he saw you sigh, watching as the tension left your shoulders that he knew he won.

“Fine, I’ll tell you then. But you can’t tell anyone else– okay?”

He makes a gesture of zipping his mouth and throwing the zipper away, his curiosity increasing. It always does when it comes to you.

“I want to be…” you wait a bit, as if for dramatic effect, “...an author.”

You turn to look at him after a moment’s silence before breaking out in laughter.

“Haha- what’s up with your face? Surprised?”

Indeed he was a bit surprised. An author? He had no clue. When it comes to you it seemed as if he's only ever scratched the surface. It made him want to know more, want to ask more.

He never does.

"An author," he echoes thoughtfully.

"Yeah."

He wanted to ask why, but you had already started talking.

“An author. I guess it’s because I want to write stories, I grew up reading them you know? Made me feel safe.”

A hint of melancholy graces your smile as your thoughts drift elsewhere; it's a different kind of smile than the one before–a sadder smile.

"Who knows? I'm sure being a sorcerer has provided ample material for incredible stories. I'll be entirely unique. Maybe I'll even include tales about overcoming curses and how people like us save the day."

"Why not add in a ridiculously handsome guy who defeats all the curses with seamless ease too? Make sure 'remarkably attractive' is emphasized."

Laughing, you playfully smack his arm. "Okay, Satoru. I'll consider it."

He couldn’t help but break out into an amused smile. What an odd dream, he thought. Though he supposed he wasn’t against it.

Satoru Gojo excelled at everything, yet nothing he achieved seemed to measure up to you.

He felt his mind start to drift and fade away, threatening to join the other souls in their lost journey home. Wait…he called out. He didn’t want to go just yet. He wanted more time, more time to replay his memories, to live in them just for a second longer.

“Satoru,”

He could hear your voice, calling him in that familiar and recognizable way that was only special to you.

“Satoru.”

He wished he could’ve told you how much he loved hearing you say his name, it rolls off your tongue so nicely. He was never one to care about names, it never mattered to someone like him. 

All he needed was Gojo – a name denoting his status, lineage, and power. His first name barely held any weight compared to his clan's. No one needed to know who Satoru was, no one ever did…so he couldn’t have cared less for his name- and yet you somehow made him love his name– only when you say it does it sound special– like it’s his name like he is someone.

Someone other than the honored one. Someone other than the strongest.

“Satoru!”

There were a lot of things he never got to tell you, another thing to add to his regrets. If only he had been brave enough…if only he had picked up his courage and told you everything.

“Satoru- please!”

He paused. Ah- what is that feeling? He could feel something wet fall onto his face. Was it raining? How could that be? How could he feel if he was dead?

And yet that warmth around his face only made him more confused. He could feel as if someone was holding them, cupping his face carefully as if he could break.

"Please wake up… Satoru, I beg you…"

His eyes fluttered open, adjusting to the sudden brightness.

The first thing he saw when his vision came back into focus was your face. Your crying face looking down at him with your hands cupping his face.

Then he looked around, realizing that the battlefield on which he had been sliced in half was gone. He was in a room, a hospital room.

He looked down and saw the rest of his body, no longer split into two. Had Shoko done this?

“Satoru!”

He returned his gaze to you. You were smiling, smiling, and crying.

Questions, so many questions flooded through him at that moment, but he decided that he could ask those later. Right now was more important, right now felt like it was all happening inside a dream.

“Hey…crybaby, seems like you you missed me?” He teased with a small grin.

You gave him a look through your tear-soaked face as if you couldn’t even believe what he was saying.

“Y-You! You bastard! You annoying– infuriating- stupid dumbass!”

“Aw, come on…” he drags, “You don’t mean those…do you hm?” Although the tone in his voice is light– playful even as if he hadn’t just returned from death, as if all he wanted right now was to live this moment to the fullest, he was dearly wishing this– whatever this was– to last a little longer.

He slowly brings his trembling arm to hold onto yours, he wanted to hold on to you tight, as if everything he was seeing was about to break, to fall apart for him to realize it was all a dream.

He waited for you to disappear, to return to the part of his imagination that was playing tricks on him.

Instead, you move sideways to hug him, crying onto his shoulders.

"No...no, I don't," you managed through choked sobs.

He hummed softly, "I guess I kept my promise after all, huh?"

You nod into his shoulder, still holding him tightly.

You and him fall into a comfortable silence, he lets you cry on his shoulders just as how you let him hold onto you. 

Several minutes passed before you pulled away, sniffling and attempting to compose yourself while wiping away tears with your sleeve.

Satoru wanted to reach out and wipe them for you, but his newly healed injuries did not allow him to, moving his hand had already been hard.

It went on like that for a while; you sniffling and crying as Satoru stared at you quietly, taking everything about you in as if this was the last time he was going to see you, just the same way he did on that night underneath the torii gate, using his eyes to try to imprint every detail, everything, every aspect of you into his memory.

That night felt like a lifetime away.

He was the first to break the silence, “Where are the others?”

By now you had calmed down, and were able to answer in a coherent way, “Recovering…everyone is- they’re fine.”

Fine. Not good, but fine.

He’ll take it for now.

“We managed to win and…” you give him a look, “you know…the students declared their victory for you,” You say with a smile.

His students. They managed to do it, just as he thought they could. He sighed contently.

You then spend the next half hour going over exactly what had happened after he had passed out, how Kashimo had come out right after him, and how eventually the rest of the students joined in.

In the end, they had managed to pull through, but it wasn’t over. Sukuna had been dealt with, Megumi’s condition was unknown, and Kenjaku was nowhere to be found.

Shoko had indeed been the one to heal him. Immediately after the battle they were able to recover his body and managed to heal him back together just in time.

“We- we almost- I didn’t know if we made it in time or not…” You say, choking up again. He could see the tears you were desperately trying to hold back, to look brave in front of him, trying to break through.

“Hey, I’m right here, aren’t I?” He beckons you to come closer.

He eventually holds you in his arms, drawing slow circles on your back, as he knows it calms you, “Shhh, I’m right here, okay? I’m not going anywhere else.”

You mutter, “Better not,” which causes him to laugh.

He wanted to let this moment drag on forever, just you in his arms, just you and him.

“This…this is real– right?” He says quietly, and in such a small voice he doubted you had heard him.

You raise your head to look at him, the soft kind of smile he’s always known playing on your face, “Yes, Satoru. This is real, as real as it can be.”

He can feel himself start to tear up, because if he had to be honest- he was scared too, he was terrified, but he had no choice. He had to play his role, his role as the strongest.

But now he could just be Satoru, just him holding onto you, keeping you close. 

“Then I’m glad.”

Bonus:

“Gojo Sensei!” Yuji, the always energetic kid exclaimed as he ran into the room, followed by You, Maki, Yuta, Nobara, Panda, Inanumaki, Shoko, and everyone else.

They all had recovered for the most part and seemed to be relatively okay. They all wore relieved expressions as they entered the room to see that their Sensei was alright.

Yuji was the first to arrive at his Sensei’s bedside.

“Hey, kid!” Gojo Sensei waved. He had recovered enough to prop himself up and do basic movements, which to Shoko had been a miracle itself.

Yuji then began launching himself into the things that had happened while Gojo had been recovering, and Gojo returned the energy. Everyone got their turn, talking until visiting times were over and they had to be ushered out.

You were the last to leave. Just before you turned the doorknob Satoru called after you, “Hey- wait.”

You turn around, waiting for what he wants to say.

“When- uh when this is all over and when you have some free time, let me take you out, yeah?”

You barely ever heard Satoru Gojo stumble over his words, and when he did you know it was because he was nervous, and everyone knows Satoru Gojo is never nervous, yet that always seemed to be the exception when it comes to you.

You found it cute, the way he would try to seem aloof as the back of his neck became a beautiful shade of bright red.

“Yeah, but let’s save that for when you recover.”

“Don’t worry! I’ll be up and ready by next week,” he says as if it were a fact, his blue eyes seemed to shine even brighter.

You sigh, even after coming back on the brink of death he still acts like a child, but you smile nonetheless, “Next week it is then.”

[generalpalacefishgoop]

Interesting Richarlyson, Pomme, and qBad lore lines regarding qForever and/or @v@ or others (23 Dec 2023)

(not full transcript, just some i thought were interesting, also I'm not changing their typos on their signs n such)

with qPhil and qBad:

Richas :"Dad DID took a medicine but NOT this one" (Happy Pills)

Richas :"Tio Phil 0_0 it IS a medicine but…it is not taking effect. I knew it but, well, the only thing I can do is try to…ask help for someone but who knows where they are."

Richas :"Don't worry tios 0_0 killing him does nothing cause it won't do much now. If anything happen, it will be to me sO DON'T WORRY >:D WE CAN FIX HIM"

with qBad: after sending Pomme away for a moment:

Richas :"so they spoke about bad forever right? Take care of Pom and Dapper tio, I will take care of him dad is far gone, don't try to save him this is not a matter of a pill anymore 0_0 well KKKKKKKKKKKKKK NEITHER I DO KNOW LIFE IS CONFUSING"

Bad asking if "taking care" of him meant killing him

Richas : "KKKKKKKKKKK no tio nah nuh yuh"

Even if the pills aren't working, shouldn't there be some way to fix him?

Richas :"I mean there always is but…do we know how? I can ask tio but do you even know about a certain "dark cucurucho""

"That's the thing tio This is our only hint, for this, it's not a mather of sving him, but keeping dad alive I mean, he might be a danger to me but he is still my dad and better me than the others no? 0_0"

Nonono! what about nobody?

Richas :"thATS WHY KKKK YOURE A LITTLE GOSSIPER and you like dad forever a lot so I don't want tio to be stepping on landmines"

What about working together?

Richas :"Tio again 0_0 KKKKKKKKKKK again, he is far gone, idk how bad it was before Well, if that wakes dad up >:D"

"I mean yeah tio rn the only thing he would propose to in this state is satan so this is how bad it is"

Bad proposing different sleeping arrangements

Richas :"he don't want to kill me now tio 0_0 BUT at least not for today KKKKKK"

"i mean he shot tallulah so KKKKKKKKKKKKKKK But dw 0_0 I just want to say because tio, put energy on pom and dappe >:D"

Bad expresses concern towards Richas

Richas : "KKKKKKKKKKK I am a smart eggie tio, dw and honestly 0_0 it's dad, I will be fine either way, did anyone ever hurt and egg like this before?

qBad :"If you die Richas, I will crawl down and grab your soul and drag it back from the underworld myself, ok Richas? You are forbidden from dying, understood?"

Richas :"WAIT NOW I KINDA WANNA DIE JUST TO GIVE TIO THE WORK"

"if dad die pull him back for me, please"

qBad :"I will do my best Richas, I'll try"

Goes to look for Pomme, caught Pomme just staring a little too close at fire

Pomme :"hey :D"

qBad :"hmm…what are you up to?"

Pomme :"Nothing, dw"

qBad :"Oh. ok. Well if it was nothing, i won't worry about it because if it was something….you would say something…"

Pomme :"Just feeling a bit sad Just a bit worried of not being trust worthy"

qBad :"It's not that Pomme. It's Richas…he's concerned about you and so he doesn't want to tell you something because he doesn't want you to worry that's basically it"

Pomme :"Why? He doesn't need to be worried about me"

Richas :"KKKKKKKKKKKKKKK I have secrets with pom too"

"no no Pome 0_0 it's about dad forever"

Pomme :"I mean… I don't know, today has just been a lot I wasn't planning on keeping it a secret from you"

"It's more… of an idea than a secret But I'm not sure we should say anything about it "for now""

Richas :"BUT I can say hope you're fine pom 0_0 dw, take care of tio bad too cause he abuses his poor totems"

Pomme :"dw, I made it my duty to keep him alive like I kept you alive for 3 months you muffinhead"

Richas :"CALLATE KKKKKKK"

Bad starts singing a "we will keep Richas alive" song

Pomme :"A miracle tbh"

"Okay that song was comforting pfft and funny :') <3"

"I'm just… I just want to try my best, you know"

Bad gives words of encouragement

Pomme :"Today was honestly awful, I saw him SHOT my siblings and I couldn't hit him, because >I know< it would've make things worse"

qBad :"Yeah, I think you did the right thing Pomme, the way you handled that situation, I think you handled it very well. And I am very proud of you."

Pomme :"I was angry at him and I felt powerless and I hate this I hate this I hate this feeling, I always feel powerless things keep happening to us and I CANT defend them no matter how hard I try to train and have the best gear I'll break at some point, I can't tank it forever no pun intended"

Bad ensures her that she has people who love her for her to lean on

Pomme :"Dad everytime it happens when you are not here when our parents aren't here"

Richas :"I MEAN MINE WAS KKKKKKKKKKKKKK"

Pomme :"yeah, AND he was targetting richas I just made sure to be the LAST ONE to warp, to leave no one behind, besides Richas and what I did was waiting in front of RIchas' stasis enderpearland I WAS READY to activate it I GOT SO SCARED."

Richas :"KKKKKK Pom, thank you for those splash potions TAKING 20 BULLETS HURT A LOT KKKKKKKKKK"

Pomme :"I KNOW I WAS SO FREAKING MAD. I WAS JUST PRETENDING TO BUILD FOR HIM BUT KEPT LOOKING AT THE SIDE I had my freaking tomb digger ready to hit him to give y'all time to warp away At least Dapper taught me well"

Richas :"our goat sleeper"

qBad :"Let's go yeah! See, Pomme, what you just described is a perfect example of literally ALL of us together, have been able to help lift each other up, help make each other stronger. Your brother, Dapper, helped give you the skills you needed to be tough, he gave you knowledge and tools that could help you in this situation. Richas helped provide you with levity while you're out in the wilderness to help you have the motivation to stay alive yourself, right? Instead of doing it alone, you had this goofball to keep you company, right? Everybody in our life can help lift us up in some way, shape or form. What's interesting about burdens, Pomme, is the burdens that we help carry for others feel lighter to us because we're helping them and the burdens others help carry with us, feel lighter to them as well so when two people help carry each other's burdens where they can, it actually makes the weight lighter for both of them and that's what we're trying to do with you and that's what you're doing with us Pomme. You're shouldering a burden which is making it easier on your siblings, it's making it easier on everyone else, you know what that's called, Pomme? It's called love. That's when you love your family so much and you love your friends that you're willing to sacrifice to help them because you love them and you care about them, okay? So, you don't need to worry cuz we love you too, Pomme and we're going to keep you safe and hopefully you can help keep us safe and I just want to let you know we do appreciate it."

Pomme :"I will keep you safe, I would do anything so you all are safe

literally anything"

group hug

[convexicalcrow]

"How's that big salmon stuff going these days?" Cub asked. He had stopped by the farm to ask him about custom fireworks, and noticed the wide, deep river that now separated his farm from xB's place.

"Oh, it's going wonderfully, Cub. See this river? They're very happy with it, I can assure you," Beef said.

"Salmon wanting a river, that's hardly a surprise," Cub said.

Beef chuckled to himself. "Well, no, though I still don't really know why they wanted it, though. Maybe it was just to look pretty. And they are fish, after all."

Cub shrugged. "Yeah, I know that feeling."

"Did I heard you'd started covering your base with skulk? How's that working out for you?" Beef said. "Not possessed again, are we?"

"Pfft, nah, it just looks better than the grass, that's all. Makes all the bright colours stand out," Cub said.

"Sure, sure," Beef said.

"Just like you're not taking orders from a fish, hey?" Cub said.

Beef laughed this time. "I guess we both know what that kind of thing's like. Not that there's anything weird going on with the salmon. I just do what I'm told, and they wanted a river, so. I got False to make me one."

"No, of course not. Nothing weird going on here," Cub said. "We just do as we're told. The rewards make it worth it."

"Yeah, something like that," Beef said.

"Anyway, about those fireworks..."

-

Beef crouched by the river once Cub was gone, thinking. The salmon filled the river, the only fish he could see in the water. Something about them memerised him, watching their glistening bodies move effortlessly through the water.

Who'd have thought an offhand comment would lead to this? Not Beef. But stranger things had happened, so whatever. And if it helped him and Skizz go up against Doc and his sand nonsense, well. The solidarity was nice.

This wasn't...

Something about Cub had got him thinking, though. He wasn't- possessed, was he? No, that can't be it. Possessed was what Cub was, with the skulk. Not- no, you definitely couldn't be possessed by Big Salmon. Definitely not.

And yet, the question remained at the tip of his tongue, almost daring him to ask it. Perhaps he was in too deep. But what did it matter now? Big Salmon would take care of him.

-

Cub felt the echoes of something in the water as he swam across. He saw the salmon and smiled, thinking nothing more of them. If Beef wanted to serve some fish, well. That was his decision to make. He wasn't any different, right? He wasn't possessed by the skulk this time. It was different. There'd be no need to call on Pix and False to splash him with every potion known to the world to cure him.

But the skulk still whispered. Cub was scared of it at first. Wardens were dangerous creatures, and he'd decided to mine straight into an ancient city. He felt that was not a random act. The skulk had drawn him in, for reasons unknown, and now he was in their thrall again.

He'd been afraid of that, to be honest. Knew all along they were lurking, waiting, lying dormant until the right moment. Perhaps now was the right moment, he thought, as he continued to spread skulk across the grass, watching it shrivel and die as the skulk took over. It spread a silent darkness across his base, one that made the base feel much more ominous.

Why was that important? Cub didn't know. Didn't question it. Continued to simply harvest all the skulk from the ancient city and spread it up here instead. As if he was bringing it to life out here. And, sure, placing it seemed fine, but he'd felt the sheer joy when he'd spread it by killing Scar. Scar had felt it too. They didn't mind killing each other for sport anyway, so it was fine. It was fun to see how far it spread.

-

Cub thought about Beef's river. Beef thought about the salmon. False cradled her rivers safely in her briefcase. Gem did her best to hide the horrors that lay under the water in her base. Grian had never been the same since the fishing took hold. Maybe....

Beef stared at the river. Reached down to touch the water, felt one of the salmon nip at his fingers as if it was expecting food. He offered it some meat from his farm, numb to the sight of it feeding from his hands, tearing the flesh apart.

Maybe- Maybe Cleo was right. Maybe there's something about the water this season. Or-

-

Cub sunk his fingers into the skulk, sighing in relief as the skulk brought him radiant calm. Yes. Yes. The skulk whispered. Cub closed his eyes. Gasped at the vision the skulk sent him of how his base will look. Smiled as Scar killed him, his life sacrificed to the skulk as it snaked out around him, spreading further and further. All would be skulk. All will be skulk. He would make sure of that.

[starlightshadowsworld]

Katai was not a stranger to Yokohama police station.They practically had his number memorised. Since he's been coming regularly since he was in school.

"Name?" Asked the bored officer. "Kunikida" said Katai, putting his hands in his coat pockets. It was freezing in here, he'd been half tempted to bring his futon but luckily the line was short.

"Full name." Said the officer, even more annoyed. Katai resisted the urge to sigh, man you'd think you'd remember the guy, you arrested.

But Katai remained polite, if only to speed this up. " Doppo Kunikida He's tall, blonde" incredibly handsome "he probably lectured you on how to properly make a left turn on the way here."

The officer paused, recognition in his eyes and somehow he got even more annoyed. "Oh that guy, yeah I know him he broke my buddy's nose."

Truly that man was the love of his life.

"Yeah, that's him. I'm guessing it was because your buddy attacked an innocent protester." Said Katai, pulling out his phone as he did so.

"No it was for no reason. I think you're friends got something wrong with him." Now, Katai might be a nervous wreck but one thing he couldn't stand was when people talked bad about his friends.

Especially his boyfriend.

Katai didn't let his anger show though."Your buddy wouldn't happen to be the same one who's committed 15 counts of aggravated assault in the last week, now would he?"

It had the intended effect of making the officers face pale, but Katai wasn't done.

"And he's not your buddy, he's you're older half brother on your mother's side. Former doctor, wife and two kids, a third on the way. And you're-"

"Okay! Okay! Stop!" Yelled the now terrified officer. Katai put his phone down "turn yourselves in, or I will."

The nervous wreck was gone, replaced by a rather confident and focused man. The shift was scary to the officer "who are you?"

Katai pulled a badge out of his pocket "Katai Tayama of the Armed Detective Agency. And I'll say it again, turn yourselves in our I will." He said, calmly while the officer was anything but.

"Did you set this up?!" Katai snorted, actually snorted like it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. "Pfft nah, this is just a happy little accident. Now go get who I came for."

The officer was out of his seat in seconds and bought back Kunikida in record time. Katai's entire demeanor shifted, softening and he smiled as his now freed man.

"Hey Doppo, took yourself long enough." He said, pushing the filled papers and leaving the station with him.

"Katai, thank you for coming." Said Kunikida, a soft smile on his face that Katai matched. "Course dear, bought some take out I figured you were starving in here." Kunikida chuckled "thank you, prison food is a crime in enough itself."

He subtly looked back at the station before looking back at Katai. "That officer, what did you do?" Katai put on an the innocent face that anyone else would easily buy.

But not Kunikida who just stared at him, waiting. "Fine, it was just a simple search." He grinned "you'll be happy to know the guy you punched is your next case."

Kunikida blinked in suprise before laughing. He took Katai's hand in his and gave it a kiss "our next case." Katai blushes, kissing his cheek "I like the sound of that."

[silent-raven13]

Hobie, baby

Miles happily walks over to his boyfriend at HQ, he happily giggles, "Hobie, baby!"

"What is it, luv?" Hobie turns pink with pretty heart patterns when he looks at his darling. He got up to see his Sunflower being so happy.

"Nothing, just like calling you that." Miles took his boyfriend's hands with his fingertips gently massaging the punker's palm, "Kiss?" He got on his tiptoes and pucker his lips waiting for his boyfriend to kiss him back.

Hobie chuckles lowly with a smile on his face, he leans over to kiss his Sunflower. "Mwah!" Miles happily giggles before trying to kiss his boyfriend again. "Mwah!"

The punker happily stood enjoying all the attention and love from his gorgeous Sunflower. "Wow, look at you lovebirds! No wonder, Miguel had to make sure Lyla have you two behaving!" The couple looks over spotting a Spider-woman holding a tablet being amused at the sight.

"Lupe!" Miles said out loud at the Spider-woman being a bit bashful, but Hobie quickly wrap his arms around Miles' neck being protective. He turned a bit grey, a sign he doesn't like their time together are being interrupted.

"Wow, easy Spider Punk. I come in piece! I'm signing you two on a mission with my team." She sync her watches with the information, "I think you two will enjoy it."

"Mmm, a mission being separated without my Sunflower," Hobie rested his chin on Miles' shoulder then rub his cheeks against his cheeks.

Miles look at the world, "Ah, come on, bae. Its been awhile since we went on a mission together!"

"We're always on a mission together!"

"But with a group." Miles cutely pout. Hobie loves it when it's just them two. They seem to get their mission done faster.

Lupe giggles, "Well, it's either you're coming with us, Brown. Or... your bf is gonna go alone and meet another Hobart Brown."

Hobie already became jealous. Miles nervously chuckles, "Hehehe, aye. Hobie, don't worry! Nothing-" Lupe hums pushing the punker's buttons, "Oh this Hobart is the Prowler and he is quite the dashing young man. I wouldn't be surprised if he would flirt with-"

"How about no! Me and him rather go-" Miles pouts at his boyfriend, "Hobie! You gotta relax, bae. I'm sure will be fine. Besides, if your coming with me then we wouldn't have a problem!"

Lupe giggles, "Yeah, besides it'll be fun. This one you two can go undercover..." She sweetly hums at Hobie, "Miles could be the girl."

"Huh! Why me?"

Hobie quickly accepted the mission through their watches, "Okay."

"Huh! Wait, that's it! Because you wanna see me in a dress!" Miles shouted out loud.

Lupe giggles, "Miles, you look good in a dress. Anyway, thanks. I'll leave you two lovebirds alone." She happily went off.

Miles turns to his boyfriend, "Really!"

"Yes."

"Because you want me in a dress?"

"Yup." Hobie's body turned pink with cartoon blushes on his cheeks. "I would want you to wear a red dress."

"Oh pfft! Hell nah! Last time I was the girl! You should be the-" Hobie snorted, "Darling, you have amazing legs to be the woman."

"Oh, so now your sticking to your gender roles?"

"I don't believe inconsistency, Sunflower." He hums. "Perhaps, you should wear black stilettos and-" Miles huffs, "You wish!"

"Awe, come on, darling don't be like that." Hobie wraps his arms around his boyfriend's waist. Miles tend to be so cute when he's mad. "Who's your baby, Sunflower?" He rubs his cheeks to his Miles like a cat.

"You are." Miles mutters.

"I'm your baby?"

"Yes, you're my baby! Hobie, baby!" Miles gave a small smile, "But I'm not wearing black stilettos. I'll probably wear gold."

"Ohh, fancy. I like, Sunflower." Hobie gave kisses at his boyfriend's cheeks then blew raspberries to tickle him. Miles giggles being happy again.

(Ya'll thought I stop on the punkflower, huh? Hell nah! Just business with It's Over story! Anyhoo, Lupe is my Spidersona.)

[authorautumnbanks]

Stranded With A Demon Lord and the Strongest Sorcerer (7)

Read chapter 6

At the risk of sounding cliche, Kagome's pussy is out of this world. Satoru bites his lip and stuffs his hands into his pockets. He needs something to do with his hands. Too bad his phone doesn't work here. It would be nice if it did, so he can mindlessly scroll and pretend like he doesn't want to take Kagome up against a tree. She's got on this short green skirt that is driving him crazy. He's not sure what is worse. The fitted yoga pants that show off that glorious ass or the short skirt that shows off so much skin. His mouth goes dry.

Shit. He may actually be addicted to her.

"Just curious. How many males fall in love with you afterward?" His tongue darts out, wetting his lips. He could blame the lack of Chapstick for his dry lips, but really the blame lies in the five-foot-nothing priestess who has his insides all funny acting.

Kagome looks over her shoulder. "They usually fall in love before I sleep with them. Don't tell me you're in love," she teases.

"Nah," he drawls. "Just curious is all. Not like we got much else to talk about." Falling in love with her wouldn't be the worst thing, but it would complicate matters. Satoru hooks his hands into his pockets and goes for casual. Tries to anyway. Sesshomaru must be getting a whiff of how badly he wants to mount Kagome.

He has a laundry list of reasons he should be pushing for a way home and yet he can't find it in him to care. Not even a little. He should. Kami knows he should. But Kagome's lips were wrapped around his cock last night, and he dreamed of her dancing for him like she did for that ogre.

"Sure we do." Kagome turns her head and smirks at Sesshomaru. "Whatcha think about his markings? Aren't they beautiful?"

Beautiful? No fucking way is he about to tell another male that their dick is beautiful. Kissing aside.

"Are you calling me beautiful, priestess?" Sesshomaru asks in a low tone that has Satoru's ears perking up. His heart beats harder. A little louder. And his blood. Kami, his blood is roaring in his ears.

Shit, maybe he is too horny to function. What is this, some second onset of puberty?

"You have the prettiest cock I've ever seen. You should take pride in it. Sorry, Satoru."

"Pfft, I could draw some tattoos on my dick too."

Sesshomaru glances at him and then looks away. Dismissed. Sesshomaru fucking dismissed him. He bites back the snarl. No one dismisses him. Kagome stops and bends down. Pink. Satoru groans.

She did that on purpose. There was nothing wrong with her shoes.

"Why are we going back to the village?" he asks, needing something—anything—to distract him. "Feels like we're going backwards, ya know?"

"This Sesshomaru agrees. We should move forward."

Kagome shakes her head and then stands upright. "You two just don't like Argol, who has done nothing to either of you." She runs her fingers through her hair and flicks it back. "There is a lot we don't know about this place. Why not ask the people... citizens who owe us some questions?"

"Dunno know. We did just fine yesterday." He flanks her side. Maybe being next to her will be easier than being behind her. Less temptation. Maybe.

"Okay, Satoru the Bloodthirsty, we can't go around attacking everyone."

"Strongest."

"Huh?"

"It's actually Gojo Satoru the strongest."

Kagome laughs, head back, full heartfelt laughs. She stops for a moment, looks at him, and then laughs again. He should be feeling miffed, but a grin tugs at his lips and his chest is lighter, as if a burden has been taken off his shoulders. No one cares about him being the strongest here. Hell, Kagome flat out thinks he is joking when he says it. Her soft, plump lips are sinful.

Would she push him away if he kissed her right now? Kagome looks at him. Her long dark lashes flutter and just like that, he is a goner. Pity for all the males that fell in love with Kagome swells in his gut. He should pull back. He should do a lot of things, but he wants to kiss her so badly he feels the anticipation from his fingertips down to his toes.

"What's with that look?"

"I want to kiss you," he admits. They didn't talk about boundaries or if last night was strictly a onetime thing, so maybe he is jumping the gun. But he wants to kiss her so badly it feels like he might combust. His energy is all twisted and out of sorts. Pent up. He needs a release.

Sesshomaru stares at him. Assessing. Satoru forces himself not to fidget under the weight of that stare. He wants to.

"I think you want to do more than that," Kagome teases. She reaches out and grips his jacket, tugging him close. "You're overthinking this." She slides her hands down and cups his ass. Satoru's breath hitches. He drops the yellow bag on the grass. It lands with a soft thud.

The priestess likes aggressive males, is the only thing going through his mind. Satoru grabs the back of her neck and pulls her against him as he leans down. He kisses her softly at first, but when she mewls for him. Fucking mewls. He loses it. Satoru grips her ass and lifts her up. Her legs wrap around his waist and fuck, she's wet.

"Too horny to function, was it?" Sesshomaru's cool voice washes over him and Satoru groans.

He breaks off the kiss and flicks his eyes at Kagome's lips. So puffy. Damn, he wants to kiss her again. "I'm functioning just fine."

"Not to be a buzzkill," Kagome says, leaning back. "But I'm a little sore."

Oh. Right. Satoru swallows. He's not sure how she took all of Sesshomaru last night. That was... uh, something else. Hot. Erotic.

"Do you want me to carry you?"

Kagome tilts her head. "Feral one moment and sweet the next. I can walk, though. Actually, I need to walk or you're going to have me all spoiled." Setting her down on her feet is torture. Her body slides against his on the way down. Satoru swallows again. He needs to pull it together. At this rate, they will never leave this world.

"So, what happens if we never find a way home?" He slides the backpack on and looks forward.

"Then we live here?"

"I mean...do we continue to wander?"

Sesshomaru shrugs one shoulder. "No, wandering would be hard on Kagome when she is pregnant with young. If it comes to it, then this Sesshomaru will find a suitable area to claim."

"Pregnant? Who said anything about getting pregnant?"

Sesshomaru rakes his eyes over Kagome and juts his chin up ever so slightly. "You are mine."

"Is Satoru yours too?" Kagome teases.

"Naturally."

Naturally? Satoru blinks. Hold on. When in the hell did he get claimed by the dog demon? "Wait a minute—" Satoru falters under the cool glare. "As long as we don't live in the same village as Argol, then I'm fine. But I need to get back to my world. For my students." Satoru frowns. "Everything was going to shit when I got sealed and ended up here."

"Sealed?"

Satoru nods. "Yeah... someone took over my friend—my dead friend's body to stall me. Just long enough for me to be sealed." He shrugs. "They couldn't defeat me outright, so they sealed me. I don't know if time passes the same in this world or not, but my students are in the midst of it."

"Their safety is the only reason you have to return?" Sesshomaru questions.

Satoru lifts one shoulder and then rubs the back of his head. "I'm the leader of my clan, but they'd survive without me."

Kagome flashes him a smile. "Oh, excuse me Satoru-sama."

"Kagome," he groans, dragging a hand down his face. "Don't do that to me."

"Satoru-sama," she says.

Fuck him.

"Priestess, unless you wish to be taken now, I suggest you stop teasing him."

"You said I." Kagome gasps.

Sesshomaru's lips twitch. He strides forward.

Looks like Kagome is in trouble. Satoru clears his throat. Later, when he has a moment alone, he should figure out how he's reading Sesshomaru so well. "There's the issue of the higher-ups. They hate me and will probably take it out on my students. They already have."

Kagome sighs. "Sesshomaru isn't going to just let you go. He doesn't like just anyone." She squeezes his arm. "We'll figure it out. No point in stressing about it now."

"Why does that sound like a threat?"

"If it was, what are you going to do about it?"

Satoru's brows furrow together.

"Put me in detention?" Kagome continues, oblivious to Satoru's plight.

"I don't have a ruler on me, but..." That branch could work. Maybe they can find another spot with a boulder. "We'll figure out your limits." He has a general idea of what she can handle. Hell, she took Sesshomaru's knot like a champ.

"Speaking of that, what's with the blindfold?"

"Got sensitive eyes. Don't worry, I can see just fine."

"Do you need me to heal you?"

"You can do that?" Not that he needs it, but it's good to know what Kagome can do. He's not sure if she could take out a curse since she doesn't have cursed energy, but she's plenty strong.

She probably could. She bypasses his infinity.

"I can heal myself, so you don't need to," he follows up with. Besides, he can't handle her power washing over him right now. It's taking longer than yesterday to reach this village when they should get a move on it, but damn, that skirt is short. "You know, I could make you feel better."

Kagome quirks a brow.

Satoru bites his lip and then slides two fingers up. He flicks his tongue out.

"Maybe we should call you Satoru-sama the horniest." Kagome laughs.

"You never refer to this Sesshomaru as Sesshomaru-sama."

"Are you pouting? You want me to call you Sesshomaru-sama that badly?" Kagome shifts her bow to the other side and then wraps her arms around Sesshomaru's arm. "How am I just now finding out how needy you are?"

"This Sesshomaru is not needy."

"My swimsuit begs to differ." Kagome sniffs. "Now I don't have a bathing suit. Doubt this place has any."

Satoru blows out a breath. "The lack of amenities is a pain."

Kagome hums. "You'll get used to it... but yes. I'll show you how to make soap and stuff. Can't do anything about the lack of plumbing." She groans and rests her head on Sesshomaru's arm. "What if the winters here are terrible? I don't have any warm clothing packed."

Sesshomaru lets out a noise that sounds suspiciously like a huff. "This Sesshomaru takes care of what is his. You fret for nothing."

"So, you and Satoru are going to play nice in case we need currency?"

Sesshomaru's lip curls back. "You cannot possibly like the brash one."

Kagome likes Argol? Satoru cracks his neck.

"Eh, Argol isn't that bad. Kinda reminds me of Koga—"

"The wolf you fucked."

Satoru grits his teeth. Did he really think the sky looked better? Nah, it looks like straight piss. Terrible. Not a cloud in sight to disguise the terrible color.

"Wait a minute," Kagome says, clearly exasperated. "I did more than fuck Koga."

Satoru coughs.

"Satoru, pull it together." Kagome gives him a look and then turns her attention back to Sesshomaru. "As I was saying. Koga and I were in a relationship. That's different. And no, I do not want Argol. If I wanted him, I could have him." She sniffs.

"Not if you want him to remain alive," Sesshomaru replies.

"You wouldn't kill him... right? Satoru?"

"Hm? Sorry, could you repeat that?"

"Ugh! You two are ridiculous. Whatever. When we get there, I will do the talking, since you two are nothing but a bunch of murderers."

Sesshomaru sniffs and then tilts his head to the left, ever so slightly. "Watch the priestess."

Why? Is there something going on?

ROARRRRR!

Satoru's muscles tense.

"Oh, that's just great," Kagome complains. "Is that a T-Rex?"

"Giganotosaurus," Satoru replies absently. It's heading for the village, too.

"Giga what?"

"A predator like a T-Rex." Satoru motions for Kagome. "Stay next to me. Don't think you can dance your way out of this one," he jokes.

"Ha. Ha." Kagome huffs. "It's going for Ebeelx and the others. We gotta help them."

"We do not," Sesshomaru says. "They should know how to defend themselves against their enemies."

"Fine. I'll go." Kagome goes to leave, but Satoru catches her around the waist. "Seriously?"

Satoru inhales. How does she smell so nice? "So, who wins? The dinosaur or the dog?"

Sesshomaru's golden eyes darken and then flash red. His face elongates as his body transforms into his dog form. There's something about this form that is more frightening than Sesshomaru's more human-like form. The demonic energy is oppressive.

Intoxicating.

How strong is Sesshomaru?

"Seriously?" Kagome repeats.

"I'll call it Giganotosaurus versus Dog, a story of one dog's grit against the world's largest predator. Can the village's protector keep them safe one more time? Or is all hope lost? Find out in five seconds."

Kagome snorts. "Okay, at least get us a better viewpoint."

Satoru presses a kiss on Kagome's neck. "Let's go."

***

A/N: Work meeting got hacked today and I know it is a serious matter, but the hacker had the name Droope Balls and I couldn't tell what the meeting was for after that.

Gonna sit down this weekend and put myself on an update schedule because external pressure works very well for me.

Hope you are having an amazing week so far. Get plenty of rest and lots of sun! May both sides of your pillow be cool.

[ruishusband]

᧔ ˖ ࣪ 💋 ࣪ ⤹kiss the homies

⤷Rui Kamishiro and amab!reader are zesty AF. Just a silly thing sleep deprived me wrote!! NOT PROOF READ

Being Rui's best friend was amazing at first, but over time it became harder to just be friends.. you two would constantly flirt, trying to make the other blush. 'Its just a homie thing, guys flirt with other guys all the time as a joke' you swore, you SWORE you wouldn't get attached, that you wouldn't yearn for something so unattainable, but you did... the worst part? You didn't even regret it. Deep down you enjoyed imagining yourself holding his soft hands, kissing his face aggressively, resting your head against his chest as if it was a pillow... your thoughts consumed you, haunted you no matter what you tried to do to stop your feelings. But yet again, you didn't regret it.. you regret not regretting it, foolish you, using your heart rather than your brain...

You felt your chest burning up, it's so cold and yet you're so warm.. it was embarrassing you were overheating because of a crush. A faint notification sound, followed by more notifications, each getting louder and more aggressive. Your hand is slightly shaky and sweaty, but you presist to look at the multiple texts Rui spammed you. A faint giggle manages to escape your lips, a slight distraction from your previously overwhelming thoughts.

purple guy (theater kid edition): hi just finished practice lol, wanna meet up at the nearby cafe? lmk

Oh, that's right... he had practice. You felt bad for not coming to watch, even though Rui would always assure you that you didn't need to pressure yourself to go to every single practice. You replied quick, not wanting to make him wait any longer.

rizzmeister69: oh? my-my, THE Rui Kamishiro is asking me out? It's a date 😘 be there in 15 minutes

purple guy (theater kid edition): take your time my prince, no need to rush! I'll wait for you ;)

You chuckled, the voices in your head having a conflict of their own. 'God y/n pull yourself together you idiot! Stop getting so flustered over a text' 'OMGOMG OMG HE CALLED ME HIS PRINCE :3!!1!1!1'

You put on a somewhat lazy outfit, but you made sure to look at least somewhat presentable. You took your wallet, heading to the little cafe at the end of the street. You looked for Rui, and he wasn't there, which is ti be expected as the cafe was closer to your house than his. You took a seat, waiting a few minutes. You scrolled on your phone, mindlessly looking at tiktoks untill.. "My sincerest apologies, I didn't keep you waiting for too long, now did I darling~?" he took a seat beside you, slyly putting his hand on top of yours, rubbing circles in it. You had felt slightly sleepy these past few days, so his comforting touch made you yawn slightly. "Nah I've only been waiting for five minutes" you mumbled, slightly tired. "You should really be getting some more sleep, you know?" "Pfft, ironic considering thats coming from you" you tease, he faked being offended, playfully scoffing. You talked a lot, your feelings just became stronger.. fuck.. you were deeply in love with him.. "You okay? You zoned out, are you sure you want to talk, maybe you should sleep instead, it's fine honestly I don't mind-" you snapped out your thoughts as Ruis words hit you like a brick: "Hm? Oh- oh no! I, I'm sorry I just.. got lost in my thoughts I guess" he was about to speak, but the waitress came and took your orders, so he forgot what he was going to reply. You two kept glancing at eachother, awkwardly laughing when you both looked at eachother at the same time.

"Thanks for the date, pretty boy, I'll see you later" Rui winked at you, you forgot you joked about this being a date, so you just stood there dumbfounded.. he giggled, giving you a kiss on your nose. He left, but you stood there, shocked.. 'kissing your homies is normal, right?'

[gabriel-xander]

Don't Forget

A/N: Me when the title of the fic is "don't forget" but all I do is forget to update it on tumblr only

[Sans x Female!Reader]

13: It's So Great, If You're Not a Fucking Murderer

Caution Warning: Brief description of a developing panic attack. Though it does NOT happen, I thought a word of warning would be appropriate regardless.

♪⁠────✿⁠(⁠✧◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕✧⁠)✿⁠────♪

You were laughing your ass off sitting in the snow. Sans was less amused about the whole ordeal, laying on his back with a dead look in his eyes. Namely, you two covered in slobber after encountering Greater Dog. Poor Sans especially got the worst part of it since he’s literally bones. He only managed to get rid of him by summoning a bone and chucking it hard, very far away.

You shuffle a little closer to him, still full of giggles, “Here, ha-ha! Stay still for a second, yeah?”

He only grumbles from where he is, not bothering to get up. You untie your shawl and remove it from your shoulders. Your dress’s neckline is straight across, leaving a lot of your chest and shoulders exposed. You shiver from the cold, already knowing you’re probably going to get sick Actually no, you were probably already getting sick the moment you fell into the snow right outside the Ruins.

“You gonna get up and do it yourself, or are you gonna make me do it?”

“huh? do what?” Sans finally looks at you, “what’re you gonna do with that?”

“Clean your head. The snow is starting to freeze to that dome of yours.”

The monster sits up with a soft grunt, wincing at the feeling of the ice sticking to him. He waves a hand dismissively.

”nah, don’t ruin your fancy fur coat.”

It’s not made of fur, but sure okay.

Sans starts wiping his hand with his gloved hand but drops it after two seconds. “…..hold on fur a second, if you can throw me a bone here, that’d be great.”

Bro called your shawl a fur coat just to make that damn pun, didn’t he?

“Ha-ha! Yeah, yeah,” You get on your knees to shuffle closer, “Let me know if I accidentally rub too hard, okay? That’s what-”

“-that’s what she said. i beat you to it,” Sans rolls his eyes but his smile gets bigger.

”Ah! How dare you steal my thunder?!”

Despite being totally offended, you still help out the skeleton. You’re trying to be gentle since one, you barely know the guy, and two, touching a bone is so scary. Yes, you know he’s a monster, his skeleton is different from yours. But seeing a bone tricks your mind into believing they’re incredibly more fragile than they are.

So far he seems to like it. His eyes have closed and he’s leaning back a bit. This would totally be a nice moment if you were also freezing from the slobber drying on your own face. After a minute, you were confident you got it all off.

“There we go, just as shiny as the day you were born.” Wait a damn minute. “Wait, were you birthed from the pussy?”

“was i what?”

“WAIT, IS THAT OFFENSIVE TO MONSTERS?!”

Sans’ shoulders were shaking and miraculously, his wide grin was wobbling. When he talks he sounds like he was desperately trying to contain his laughter.

“w-wait, as-ask that again!”

“No way!!”

You scramble up to your feet and aggressively shake your shawl to take off the snow. You make sure to do it right in his face, smiling at his laughter that he’s now allowing to be free. You can see Snowdin town just up ahead! Right pass the bridge that is giving you the biggest burst of anxiety that you haven’t felt in a long time.

Letting the monster be, you finally get around to wiping off your own face. It was kind of pointless though since it’s already dried off.

Gross.

But worth it.

“Ugh, remind me to take a shower later,” You scrunch up your nose, folding the shawl over your arm, “We’re almost there, right? Let’s get crack-a-lackin’.”

Sans eyes you as he stands up, “you’re not cold?”

“Pfft—What, scared of a little skin?” You shake your head, “This thing is too dirty to wear now. I’ll be fine.”

He winces, “sorry ‘bout that.”

“Why are you apologizing? I’m the one who used it. Anywayyy, no more sulking, bone boy. The sooner we get to your place, the sooner I can take that shower.”

The skeleton monster grumbles playfully under his breath, walking by your side.

“‘m not sulking. you’re sulking.”

“Waa, waa, waa.”

You almost said the full video reference, but you have the feeling that you two aren’t there yet where you can playfully call him a bitch. Maybe one day, but you don’t know if you will actually call him a bitch. He’s not very bitch material.

Cock material, for sure. You’d even argue that he’s (mother)fucker material, too. But a bitch? He just doesn’t look like “bitch” would fit him well.

Top Ten Insults that Appropriately Fit Sans Undertale.

Number One:

…

Burger King Foot Lettuce-

“…hello? earth to [y/n]—uhm-this place to [y/n]?”

You shake your head to escape your thoughts, “Wha-Huh? Sorry, I zoned out.”

“yeah, clearly. you good? what were you thinking so hard about?”

‘Oh, dude. You do NOT wanna know.’

You notice that you two stopped right at the bridge. Your hand was on top of the left post that was holding the rope to the bridge.

The…

The long bridge…

Thousands of meters from the ground…

One wrong move, and you’re done.

One wrong step, and you’re falling.

Your natural reaction would be to do your best to maintain a feet-first landing. It would not end well for you of course: breaking your legs, pelvis, and lower-spinal column.

That would kill you.

That would…

Your heart feels wrong. Beating too fast and it’s just too heavy. It’s too big for your chest-it shouldn’t be in there. It makes you want to remove it from your chest to get rid of this feeling from your body.

If you breathe more, you can make more room in your chest. If you do that then—

But you have to do it now-You have to do it now because if you don’t then your chest will burst.

… Ah. Wait.

You blink owlishly, “Huh.”

“what is it?”

“I’m terrified of heights.”

“uhhh, crap.”

Sans hesitates before he gently takes your hand from post and forces you to take a few steps back by getting in your space. You frown at this, but allow yourself to step away. You feel a little light headed, but nothing a couple of deep breaths can’t help with. Woah, that was… that was a little too close for comfort.

“Sans, what are you doing?”

“come on, we’re gonna take a shortcut,” Sans gives you a wink, “didn’t you say you wanna take that shower asap?”

“Well, yeah, but…” But you don’t want to skip out on exploring Snowdin right now…. “If-If you could’ve teleported us-”

“-shortcut.”

“Sure. If you could’ve given us a shortcut the whole time, why not do that in the very beginning?”

“and make you miss out on the Snowdin forest experience?”

“…Okay, fine. But I just, um,” Well… You guess Snowdin Town exploration can wait another day. “It’s not going to hurt, is it?”

“only if you want it to.”

“I'm not a masochist, but thanks for the offer.”

“what the hell is a masochist?”

You start laughing.

There’s confusion (somehow) on his face.

“Oh, shit. You’re serious. You don’t know what it is?”

“am i supposed to?”

“You know what, bone boy? I think we can save this conversation for another day.” You hold your hand up for no other than that you like talking with your hands sometimes. “So uh, how does this work? Do I gotta click my heels three times?”

“you keep telling me these things that i’m pretty sure only make sense if you were tellin’ another human,” Sans snorts, “you don’t gotta do anything. give me your hand.”

“Ah-ha ha, uh, you still have it, Sans.”

You both look at your joined hands simultaneously. Your cheeks begin to warm up while Sans.

Get this.

He is blushing, though it was subtle, it was still noticeable since his skull is an off white color.

But it’s not blue.

He’s actually blushing red!

You suppose it makes sense…! During the date with Papyrus and even when you flirt with him, his blush is red. So of course Sans shouldn’t be any different if they’re both related.

Ah, but you’re so used to the guy being associated with cyan, that it threw you off!

It’s not a bad look on him at all though, just different.

“No need to be so shy about it, bone boy.” You give his hand a very light squeeze, “What’s next on the plan?”

“hah, well it’s only fitting for you to close your eyes now.”

You roll your eyes dramatically before doing as you're told. The skeleton monster takes a deep breath quietly, willing away his blush because that shit’s just embarrassing.

“now give me a sec to work my magic.”

“Sure thing, bone boy.” You reply with a smile, keeping your eyes closed.

Sans doesn’t actually need that second, it’s just an excuse to take this time to… observe you.

It looks like you’ve completely calmed down, thankfully. He’s had his fair share of panic attacks before and they’re a bitch to deal with. Luckily, you seemed to have recognized it on your own and brought yourself out of it. The monster hoped that his own intervention had helped somewhat, too.

Guess that means he should make sure you avoid extreme heights from now on. You’re really nice, so he doesn’t want you to stress out too much if he can just help you out.

Pretty dangerous for you to admit that so openly, though.

Also pretty embarrassing he forgot he was holding your hand this whole time, if he’s honest. Not to sound cliche and corny, but he didn’t realize because your hand just… it fit naturally with his.

Then again, he noticed that humans seem to have a similar structure to him and Papyrus. So he probably shouldn’t think too much of it.

Oh, by the way.

“we’re here,” Sans, to be nice, squeezes your hand the same you did to him, “bet you didn’t even notice, huh?”

Sans waits for you to open your eyes before finally letting you go finally. You blink in surprise, looking around frantically and rather dramatically.

“Goddamn it, Sans! Where the hell are we?!”

He can’t help but snort, “my house in snowdin town.”

Your eyes flicker to your left then they widen. Sure enough once you actually stopped goofing around and take a second, you are indeed standing in front of a house.

A wooden, two-story home with Christmas lights hung shrewdly around the left beam holding up the sun shade above the door. The lights are also hung on the very top shingles and balcony on the right side of the house. You don’t remember what they’re called (even if the Author knows), but on the front door there’s that typical Christmas decoration that’s just a bunch of leaves in a circle.

There’s also a pirate flag. At the top. For some reason. Maybe to help the locals identify this house as the skele-bros?

“This place…” You murmur softly, “It’s…”

Uh oh. Do you—Do you not like their house?! Is this a deal breaker?? Not that he gives a shit if you don’t like the house, but will you really refuse to stay here if it doesn’t fit your taste?!

“It’s so cute!” You beam, clasping your hands together, “Awe, what a cute little home!”

“…little?”

You laugh, “Ha-ha! Is that what you’re gonna focus on?”

His grin is one of relief, “would you rather i give you the cold shoulder?”

“Booo! The one was weak!”

“you did not just boo me.”

“And I’ll do it again, bone boy.”

“let’s just go inside. i’m sure it’ll be ice to meet brother.”

You nod nervously, “Right, right, right. You said he was your younger brother, so…I probably shouldn’t swear, right?”

Sans just shrugs,“preferably, but he’s a grown adult so it ain’t nothing he’s heard of before. also, i’m not gonna tell you what to do, so it shouldn’t matter what i say, anyway.”

Well, yeah but…

“Alright, we gotta talk about it before we go in. We should really put down some ground rules,” You face the other properly, crossing your arms, “This is still your house, Sans. Yours and Papyrus’. I don’t like being controlled, but you still need to put up your boundaries.”

You know what? Sans actually appreciates that. He was trying to be chill and nice about it, but it looks like you have more respect for him than he does for himself.

“hmph,” A small, airy laugh escapes him, “alright, alright. i’m convinced. if that’s the case then, let’s talk about it with my brother.”

You step back.

”Ppp-You first, buddy.”

He rolls his eye-lights while fishing out the keys from his pocket. However, just as he was about to unlock the door, it unlocks from the other side.

And the door swings open.

Taglist:

@lemonboy011

@adriixboo

[dark-frosted-heart]

Book of Memories ~ Clavis, Jin, Sariel ~ Part 3

Collection story

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this.

~~ Flashback continues ~~

As night falls, the town is enveloped by a lively atmosphere different from during the day.

As if to blow the fatigue from work away, people happily drank their fill and danced to music at the tavern...

Within such a town of adults, two children wandering about looked out of place.

Clavis: Jin! Look, there's some musicians over there.

Jin: Hold on, if you run too fast you'll end up crashing into people.

Clavis: ! This smell. It smells like the muffins I've had with my mother.

Jin: It definitely smells sweet like a muffine...

Clavis: I thought so! Jin, you got it.

Jin: Seriously...

Clavis dashes through the streets with the zeal befitting a child of his age.

Jin chases after him and pulls him back before he bumps into someone.

To the people passing by, the pair looked like brothers.

Jin: I'm feeling a bit hungry. Wanna get something to eat?

Clavis: I do! Ah, I'm the senior so it'll be my treat!

Jin: Nah, let me treat you. You've already done so much for me. Besides, let me be the big brother once in a while.

Clavis: ...

Jin: Hm, what's wrong?

Clavis: I was just happy to hear that Jin wanted to do something brotherly!

Jin: Ah- I just got caught up in the moment. Sit on that bench while I go get us something.

Clavis: O~kay.

--

Jin: I didn't think you'd actually follow me.

Clavis: Hm?

Clavis, who was munching away at his muffin, tilted his head at Jin's words.

Jin: I meant when I invited you to go out to town when you happened to pass by. Won't your mom or Sariel scold you if either found out you snuck out of the castle?

Clavis: It-It'll be fine as long as we don't get caught.

Jin: You're pretty bad.

Clavis: Am not! I didn't follow you just to enjoy the twon.

Jin: Are you keeping an eye on me as my senior in case I do something weird?

Clavis: That's not true. If I thought you weren't just simply going out, I would've done everything to stop you.

Jin: Then why'd you follow me?

Clavis: So that you can get closer to your brothers.

Jin: Other people think that we're close enough.

Clavis: Do you think so too, Jin?

Jin: Definitely...more than the beginning.

Clavis: I see...That's fine with me! Still, I'd like us to get along and know each other better.

Jin: By how much?

Clavis: Why don't you tell me some stuff. Things that make you happy, annoyed, or sad. All of it.

Jin: ...

Clavis: I came along because I thought it'd be the bets place for us to relax and get to know each other better. Because I think court's still a place that's too nerve-racking for you. A place where you can't stay calm.

His golden eyes which were usually brimming with curiosity now held some seriousness.

Jin: You've really come to accept me as your older brother.

Clavis: Of course. But I'm also your senior too. As your little brother and senior, I'm easier to talk to than anyone else. So you can tell me anything, no matter how trivial it is. I'll be happy if court becomes a comfortable place for you someday, Jin.

Jin: You've grown up to be an amazingly good kid.

Clavis: I'm a good boy! Mother told me so.

Jin: Your mother must be really proud to have a son like you.

Clavis: She told me that too! H-hey, don't mess with my hair! I'll have to tidy it up again!

Jin: Pfft. You look good even when messed up. It's no problem.

Clavis looked up at Jin in annoyance as he fixed his hair, but his eyes instantly narrowed in happiness.

Clavis: I knew getting out of the castle was the right choice.

Jin: Hm?

Clavis: I feel like I've seen a true smie. It's soft and gentle. You should show the real Jin more often, even if it's just in front of Sariel or our brothers. For that reason, I'll keep visiting you as much as I can.

Jin: The real me... If you, my little brother and senior, are going that far for me, then I guess I have no choice. I know I might be lacking as a big brother, but don't turn away from me, okay?

Clavis: I'm a boy with a big heart so I don't mind.

Jin: Thanks...

After giving his little head a gentle pat, Jin stood up from the bench.

Jin: I had good a lot of fun, but I think it's about time we head home.

A rough-looking man: Hey, there's some kids out at this hour.

Jin and Clavis: Huh...?

--

Sariel: You're back late, don't you think?

Jin and Clavis: ...

As if punishment for their bad behavior, the two rann into Sariel after returning from town.

Sariel: Do you have anything to say?

Jin and Clavis: Sorry.

Sariel: At least you're honest with your apology. But that doesn't mean I'll let this go.

Jin and Clavis: Understood...

Sariel: Prince Jin, what's with that scratch on your face? Prince Clavis too, you didn't have that scratch on your arm this morning.

Clavis: I...fell.

Sariel: How?

Clavis: Because I was running from a bad guy that approached us...

Sariel sighed deeply and looked at the two again.

His eyes were wavering with quiet anger.

Sariel: You two are children first, before you're royalty. You know how dangerous it is to go out at night. Even the most familiar of places change once night falls. This is even true for court. Nonchalantly thinking that you'll be fine can lead to danger.

The lecture that echoed throughout the entrance hall placed a heavy weight on their shoulders.

As Clavis' gaze lowers more and more in apology, Jin steps in front to hide him from Sariel.

He smiled as if to smooth things over.

Jin: I asked Clavis to go with me, so don't get mad at him. I'm sorry I put him in danger.

Sariel: Prince Jin, you don't regret it at all, do you?

Jin: Excuse me...?

Sariel: I'm not just concerned for Prince Clavis, but you as well. Actually, I'm glad that Prince Clavis was with you. If you went out by yourself, you would have returned with even more scratches.

Jin: Why do you think that?

Sariel: Because you have this odd sense of confidence that you can do anything yourself.

Jin: ...

Clavis: Sariel...Jin...?

There was a strained tension in the air that wasn't present before.

Clavis looked at the two before getting in between them.

Clavis: S-stop arguing!

Sariel: Thank you for helping me find my words. Prince Clavis, I'm going to have to ask you to stay quiet for a moment.

Jin: I agree with Sariel on this one.

Clavis: B-but if you don't, you'll start fighting!

Jin and Sariel: We won't.

Clavis: Liar!

Jin: Not if this guy doesn't keep pushing me.

Sariel: Unfortunately I won't be backing down.

Clavis: Sariel...?

Sariel: You've never complained, studied hard, took part in social gatherings, but then you suddenly slipped out of the castle. I'm not so uncaring toward you that I'll stop my lecture here. I worry about you as a human being, not as royalty nor as a prince.

Jin: ...

Sariel: Can you at least tell me why?

Next

[howlingday]

Sunflowyr Days...

Ren: You've been quiet all day. Is something wrong?

Yang: ...Nah, it's nothin. I mean, there is something, but I don't think I should bring it up.

Ren: Well, we won't know until we talk about it.

Yang: Yeah... Yeah, you're right.

Ren: (Thinking) She's nervous. Is it me?.

Ren: You can tell me anything, you know.

Yang: Yeah, I... I was talking to my sister about what you said, and she agrees with me, too. We, uh... We think that, maybe... Maybe you should let Nora be more independent. For her own sake, y'know? And... Maybe for our sake, too? I wanna hang out with you more, y'know? And not have it always end with Nora calling for you to come back or you canceling on me?

Ren: ...Forgive me.

Yang: No no no! It's not your fault! I'm not trying to nag you or anything, but...

Ren: I can't force her to learn anything, though.

Yang: W-Well, no, but you could, like, maybe not always go running to her when she calls?

Ren: If your sister were in trouble, wouldn't you run to her?

Yang: Of course, but she only asks if she actually needs something.

Ren: ...Fair point.

Yang: Sorry. I shouldn't have said. Or even talked about this at all.

Ren: No, no, it's fine. I guess I have been letting her control me for some time now. Although, there's a reason she needs me, too. It would explain why she's so possessive of me.

Yang: I... I don't know if that's the reason why.

Ren: For someone so open and honest, she can be difficult to understand, right?

Yang: (Mumbles) Oh, she's difficult, alright...

Ren: Hm? Did you say something?

Yang: N-No, it's nothing! Go on!

Ren: For the longest time, we were all each other had. She was especially sensitive to it. That's why I can't stand if something were to happen to her.

Ren: Or to you. (Kisses her forehead) That's why I need to keep you both close to me.

Yang: Heehee~! You can count on me to be by your side.

Ren: ...Would you cut your hair short for me, if I asked?

Yang: Pfft! As if! You'd just gloat about how much longer your hair is~!

Ren: (Tosses hair) Well, it is luxurious~.

Yang: Hahahaha~!

[lastintheserverbox]

Why was I right..?! Why did I have to be fucking right..?! I-I would rather a- If everyone could have g-gone- Lobby, you're being silly! Lobby look he's fine! Stop being paranoid y-you big dumby!.. He's not..- [Lobby's mouth tasted thick with bile as they typed, their body shaking like a jack hammer as they put their claw to their face.] I knew i sh..should have pressed for AA t..to- But I didn't- And now- I-If I was SMARTER I could have-

[They slam their big, hulking claw onto the side of their desk. It splinters under the weight and muscle.] I-I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T WANT TO LOSE ANYONE ELSE, MAN-!! I TOLD YOU..!! I TOLD.... I-I... I told you...!!!

-🦞

[Sam half flinches]

"Nah...nah it's okay gu-guys. Jade'll be here and figure it out like always! We're...we're okay here. You won't lose me, promise."

...

"But...If she doesn't..."

"Pfft...You're crazy. You sure you'd want to go out with me?"

"...Sam I would go anywhere with you."

[Sam chuckles again, kissing Mark's palm.]

"Yeah?...Me too."

[His teeth leave the softest puncture. He darts to grab Mark when he flinches]

"You think Jade would be on board with this if she can't fix it?"

"Hardly seems fair to everyone else."

"...Yeah. Guess you're right. Still. Wouldn't that be kind of beautiful, man?"

"...You're a sap. I love you."

[They both laugh against eachother, pixels glitching]

[Nio crashes into the house, skidding to a halt]

"GUYS....I'm..."

[He blinks owlishly]

"...here."

[What does he...do?]

//

"Yeah...No worries. I'm out of its sight for now."

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

Character voice

Thanks @willtheweaver here, @mysticstarlightduck here, @mk-writes-stuff here and here, @writingsfromspace here, and @diabolical-blue here, and @imsoveryveryconfusedatlife here!

As these built up, they got long. I'm tagging @elsie-writes @cherrybombfangirlwrites @leahnardo-da-veggie @winterandwords @tabswrites + anyone else who would like to do this!

All of my responses are below the cut

"This is not the day I die."

Lexi: "I don't think I'm gonna die today. We will totally survive this. We will be fine." (Secretly kinda scared)

Maddie: "Hm. I don't think I'm gonna die today. It'd feel a lot different, I think."

Ash: "I am not dying today. Trust me on this."

Gwen: "I don't think there's a way to know if I'm gonna die today, but I'm not giving up yet."

Robbie: "Pfft, haven't died yet, have I?"

Akash: "Nah, I'll be fine. I ain't dying yet."

Jedi: "I, for one, prefer the optimistic approach. I do not think I am going to die today."

Carmen: "It's impossible to determine the day one dies, in most circumstances. However, it's highly unlikely I will die today. Don't be an idiot."

"One could say I've failed this task successfully."

Lexi: "Hey, from an optimistic perspective, I think this failure was an absolute win! Totally worked out."

Maddie: "I mean, positively thinking, this kinda worked out. Yeah, we failed, but I think this was a success, in a way."

Ash: "If you want to look at it optimistically, I think this failure worked out."

Gwen: "Think of it this way: the only way to go is up. We can fix this. We can only improve it we fail, so I think we actually won. From a certain perspective."

Robbie: "Personally, I think this failure was actually a total win. Think about it. There was no way it could've been worse. I think I failed it successfully. I win at failure. Now, next time, it'll be a better win!"

Akash: "Did I fail miserably? Yes. Was it fun to watch? Also yes. Did it work? Yes again. See the pattern? I can fix this."

Jedi: "You are correct in that this did not go as planned. However, I prefer to believe that everything worked the way it was supposed to. In a way, we were successful."

Carmen: "Wallowing in failure won't do anyone any good. It's pathetic, actually. I did not fail, I was merely successful in different ways."

That was a little optimistic of everyone.

"All the souvenirs in the world, and you bought that?"

Lexi: "That's an interesting souvenir you have. Are you uh...sure you want that?"

Maddie: "Why would you buy that souvenir? Wasn't there a nicer one?"

Ash: "That's the souvenir you bought? I don't like it honestly. Sorry."

Gwen: "Oh. Interesting souvenir. [Several seconds] Oh, you're buying it? Isn't it... expensive? Maybe you could get something cheaper?"

Robbie: "Woah. Um. Quite the souvenir. [Cringe] Mhm. Sorry, um, lost my words for a second. It's just so.... *gestures* interesting. Yeah. That. Great for you. Awesome pick. Uh..."

Akash: "I don't...think that souvenir is best for you. How 'bout...that one? Of all the souvenirs you could get, y'know? You only get one."

Jedi: "Oh. I see you got a souvenir. Er, why, if I may ask, did you decide on that one?"

Carmen: "Why would you pick that souvenir? It sucks."

"We went all the way out here for this?"

Lexi: "That's all there is? That's what we wasted the day for?" (Anxiety of the schedule being ruined is building)

Maddie: "Seriously? I could've been doing other more fun things."

Ash: "Well, this was a waste of time."

Gwen: "No offense, but why did we have to come this far for this again? I don't understand how this is that important."

Robbie: "Well that was the most anticlimactic thing I've seen. The suspense was building and now it's gone! Man, you gotta work better on your payoff."

Akash: "... seriously? Dude, I did not have to come out here for this. I have other things to do!"

Jedi: "Well, that was certainly... unexpected. Slightly underwhelming, actually."

Carmen: "You're telling me you dragged me out here just for THIS?! What is wrong with you?!"

"You can't do that!"

Lexi: "Wait, that's not allowed! I don't think you should do that! It could be dangerous!"

Maddie: "Wait, you were going to do that without me?"

Ash: "Oh, no, you are not doing that without me."

Gwen: "I'm not sure you should be doing that? You could get hurt. Maybe in trouble."

Robbie: "Woahwoahwoahwoahwoah you can't do that! That's like, I dunno, probably dangerous or something?"

Akash: "Dude, don't bother. You'll just get in trouble, it's not worth it."

Jedi: "I would advise against doing that. It is impossible to do it without something going wrong. Besides, it would be a bad idea."

Carmen: "DO NOT DO THAT!! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?!" [she would probably say this even if it was the first time]

"That sounded better in my head."

Lexi: "I thought that would sound better out loud...."

Maddie: "You know what I mean!"

Ash: "That did not sound right."

Gwen: "That...sounded a lot worse than I intended."

Robbie: "Oh WOW that sounded better in my head what happened???"

Akash: "I... thought that would sound better. Man, I was wrong. I sound like an idiot now."

Jedi: "That-- *rubs back of neck* did not sound the way I wish it did."

Carmen: "Oh, figure out what I meant!"

"You're going to get yourself killed!"

Lexi: "Stop it! You can't die! I won't let you!"

Maddie: "Y'know, you could get killed doing that."

Ash: "You think you're going to die. And you probably will."

Gwen: "No! You're gonna get killed if you do that! I'll do it."

Robbie: "No. Nononono. You're gonna die if you do that, and I can't allow that to happen."

Akash: "Absolutely not--you will die if you do that, and I can't allow that."

Jedi: "You must not do that. It is suicide if you do. We cannot allow you to die."

Carmen: "What is wrong with you? Do you not realize that you will most likely die from that? You're such an idiot."

Your prompt: "This is a perfectly normal amount of sugar." [I was thinking in the context of making coffee but you can make it applicable to whatever makes sense]

[the-mxster]

Tensimm+Donna incorrect quotes (pt7)

Pt 1 Pt 6

Doctor: I know you snuck out last night, Master.

Master in his head: Play dumb! 
Master: Who's the Master?

Master in his head: NOT THAT DUMB!!!

Donna: The Master just insisted the Doctor and I remember a code word in case we’re ever confronted by their clone or a cyborg doppelgänger and we’re not sure which is the real them and which is the imposter.

Donna: Some families have a fire escape plan, but not us.

Master: Happy birthday Doctor! I'm your gift!

Doctor, whispering to Donna: Did you get the receipt, or do I have to keep them?

Donna: Ooh, somebody has a crush

Master: Pfft, I don’t have a crush on the Doctor I just think they’re cool, it’s not like I stay up at night thinking about them.

*Later that night*

Master, very much awake: Uh oh.

Master: I feel like the Doctor is looking down on me.

Donna: That’s because they’re on the counter and you’re short.

Doctor to the Master: We smell of sweat and loss.

Doctor : How would you rate your pain?

Donna: 0/10. Would not recommend.

Doctor : Master, can you help me? All of my clothes keep disappearing for some reason.

Master, wearing a hoodie that's 5 times bigger than their size: Spooky.

Doctor : Baby vibes... hold gentle... like hamburger.

Master: Punt like football.

Donna: I can't take you seriously wearing that.

Master: Aw, you take me seriously at all?

Donna: Fair point.

Master: Is this about me?

Doctor : No.

Master: Then I've lost interest.

Doctor : The Ocean is a soup.

Donna:

Donna: Do elaborate.

Doctor : What are needed for something to be a soup?

Donna: Erm... Water, salt, some form of vegetation, and personally I prefer some meat in mine.

Doctor : *Tilts head*

Donna: The Ocean is a Soup.

Doctor : The Ocean is a Soup.

Donna: Do you need help getting up?

Doctor : Nah, I'm cool down here on the floor.

Doctor : Oh, fiddlesticks.

Donna: Look, I understand this is a tense situation, but let's watch the fucking language.

Doctor : Why aren’t you sleeping?

Master: I’m too busy plotting your murder to sleep, Doctor .

Doctor :

Master: ...The nightmares.

Doctor : *wrapping their arms around Master* Awwww, sweetie-

Doctor : Where are you going?

Master: To either get ice cream or commit a felony. I'll decide on the way.

Donna: Why are you late?

Doctor : A technical error occurred, causing an unexpectedly long bout of unconsciousness.

Donna: Overslept?

Doctor : Overslept.

Master: Donna, I need some advice.

Donna: You need advice from ME?

Master: Yeah, frightening, isn't it?

Doctor, about to leave the TARDIS: Don’t spend all day watching YouTube, okay?

Master: I FORGE MY OWN PATH!!

Doctor: Master, are you okay?!

Master : I told you to stop asking stupid questions!

Donna, shooing the Doctor away: Can you go be depressed over there? You’re bumming out my whole area.

Donna: If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're impressed.

Master: But you do know better.

Doctor, texting Donna: Text me when you’re home safely.

Donna: I’m home dangerously.

Doctor : Stop it.

Donna: I’m home lethally.

Doctor : Bro-

Master: No, no, hold up, rewind.

Master: My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??

Doctor : So I have made the decision to trust you.

Master: A horrible decision, really.

Donna: Which is correct, seven and five IS thirteen, or seven and five ARE thirteen?

Doctor : Neither.

Doctor : Because it's twelve.

Donna: My head hurts.

Master: That’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.

Master: What has the galaxy ever done for you?! Why would you wanna save it?!

Doctor : Cause I’m one of the idiots who lives in it!

Doctor: Swear words are illegal now. If you say one you'll be fined.

Donna: Heck.

Doctor: You're on thin fucking ice.

Doctor: Oh no-

Doctor : Master, you’re such a genius!

Master: Yes, I know.

Donna: My expectations were low but holy fuck.

Master: I don't dab. I stab.

Master: I thought you were going to give me a book recommendation or something.

Donna: *laughs* Book recommendation? I can’t read!

Master: Donna, I sense hostility.

Donna: Good, because I hate you.

Donna: *accidentally hits the Master with their car*

Master: You hit me with your car.

Donna: You hit my car with your body.

*While planning to break in somewhere*

Doctor: Hey, let's do "Get Help!"

Master: What?

Doctor: "Get Help."

Master: No.

Doctor: C'mon, you love it!

Master: I hate it.

Doctor: It's great! It works every time!

Master: It's humiliating.

Doctor: Do you have a better plan?

Master: No.

Doctor: We're doing it!

Master: We are not doing "Get Help!"

*A Minute Later*

Doctor, carrying Master: Get help! Please! They're dying! Help Them! *throws Master at guards, knocking them out*

Doctor: Ahh, classic!

Master: *gets up* I still hate it. It's humiliating.

Doctor, laughing: Not for me, it's not.

Doctor: Do you know a turtles only weakness?

Donna: No... well, their slowness.

Doctor: Their weaknesss is they can't roll over when they are on their backs.

Doctor: Now I have a plan.

Doctor: If I duct tape two turtles together, they'll be unstoppable.

Donna: Doctor, you know the Master better than anyone. I’m sure you’ll find the perfect gift.

Doctor: And you’re sure its not…

Donna: It’s not a tie.

Doctor: okay.

Doctor : There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?

Master: Nope, there's 26.

Doctor : Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T.

Master: Aww, that's cute, but you're still missing one.

Doctor : You'll get the D later ;).

Master: Wow, Doctor , you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.

Doctor : We literally slept together yesterday.

Master: That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

Doctor: I don't want to fight you!

Donna: I wouldn't want you to fight me either!

Master: It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free: pouring river water in your socks!

Donna: Why would I do that?

Master: It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free!

Doctor: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao

Master: What did you do?

Doctror: A MISTAKE

Master: *walks into the kitchen, ignoring everyone*

Doctor : Hey, Master, how was your day?

Master: *picks up an onion and bites into it, staring at Doctor * Hell.

Donna, watching this unfold: *whispers* Who hurt you?

Master: If you can’t beat them, dress better than them

Doctor : *looks at Donna*

Doctor : Baby girl. Baby.

Doctor : *looks at Master*

Doctor : Evil.

Donna: Master, what do you have?

Master: A KNIFE!

Donna: Okay, have fu-

Doctor : NO!

Master: You are, of course, wondering why it is I have brought you here tonight.

Doctor: Actually, Master, after all these years, I just sort of go with it.

Donna: I’m here for the cult stuff.

Master: How did you find us?

Donna: I saw your ad on craigslist.

Master: I’m not lazy, I just find it hard to put effort into things I’m not passionate about.

Donna: What are you passionate about?

Master: Sleeping

Master: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

Donna: If it pleases the court I would like to say that my opponent is TALKING SHIT!

Master: ...

Doctor: Hopefully the Master has learned a lesson about respecting other people's feelings.

Master: Oh, shut up and die Doctor.

Master: 'Person of interest' is almost too flattering.

Master: Like, if the police were to pound on my door and go, 'A man has been murdered in your building and you are a person of interest,' I'd be like, 'Moi? Oh, do go on.'

Donna: It's called cauliflower, not ghost broccoli.

Master, eyes wide: I know what I saw.

Master: You wanna see how hardcore I am?

Master: *punches wall*

Master:

Master: Take me to the hospital.

Master: Just because I'm too short to reach the lowest self in the cabinet doesn't mean you shouldn't watch out for your kneecaps.

Donna: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck

Doctor: Hey, are you okay?

Donna: Yeah.

Doctor: You don't look okay...

Donna: Then stop looking.

Donna: How many kids do you have?

Doctor: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?

Doctor: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars.

Donna: If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky, they will be removed indefinitely from my life.

Donna: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?

Master: Literally or figuratively?

Donna: I have to specify?

Master: Okay okay stop asking me if I'm straight, gay, bi, whatever. I identify as a FUCKING THREAT.

Doctor: ...My man, Master just killed a goldfish.

Master: *licking their lips* Yup. Delicious.

Doctor: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste

Donna: We got spring water

Doctor: NO.

Master: with EXTRA minerals

Donna: it's like licking a stalagmite

Doctor: DON'T COME HOME.

Master: Mmmmm cave water

Donna: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.

Doctor: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

Doctor: Donna, can I talk to you for a second?

Donna: Yeah, what’s up? Lemme guess. You and the Master are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss?

Doctor: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I’ve read books.

Doctor: If Donna and I were drowning, who would you save?

Master: You two can swim…

Donna: It's a hypothetical question, Master! who would you save?

Master: my time and effort.

Donna: Do you think different paints have different tastes?

Master: They do.

Doctor: ...Why did you say that with such certainty?

Master: If you had to choose between the Doctor and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?

Donna: That depends, how much money are we taking about?

Doctor: Donna!

Master: 63 cents.

Donna: I'll take the money.

Doctor: DONNA!!!

Doctor: I hardly slept last night
Donna: When you can’t sleep, it means someone is thinking about you. Someone who loves you.
Doctor: Who would be thinking about me at 3 a.m.?
Master: [gay panic]

Donna: Doctor, is that a hickey? 
Doctor: It’s just a mosquito bite. 
Master: *walks in the room*
Donna: How’s it going, mosquito.

Master: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.

Doctor: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

Master: Absolutely not.

Doctor: Why do you let me win when we race up the stairs? You’re the faster one.
Master: Erm... it’s nice see your smile when you win!

*later*
Doctor: They're probably just staring at my ass, aren't they

Donna: Only just figuring that out now?

Donna: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running?

Doctor: Oh, I’m always running

Doctor: The question is from what

Master: I actually have a black belt.

Donna: In what, karate?

Master: No, from Gucci.

Donna: I like your top, Master!
Doctor: I have a name, you know.
Master: *sighs* Why. Why are you like this.

Doctor *is wearing silk pants* How does this look?
Master: Like its slips on and off really easily.
Doctor: 
Master: No, I didn't mean it like that-
Donna: We know what you meant.

Doctor: You often use humor to deflect trauma

Master: Thank you

Doctor: I didn't say that was a good thing

Master: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny

Master: With great power comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.

Master: So that’s my plan.

Donna: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don’t want to sound mean.

Master: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.

Donna: It fucking sucks.

Master: That’s not constructive criticism.

Doctor: Three words. Say them and I'm yours.

Master: Three words.

Doctor:

Doctor: I made tea.

Master: I don’t want tea.

Doctor: I didn’t make tea for you. This is my tea.

Master: Then why are you telling me?

Doctor: It’s a conversation starter.

Master: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Doctor: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

Doctor, trying to cheer the group up: Things could be worse, you know!

Donna: How?

Doctor: How what?

Donna: How could they be worse?

Doctor: They couldn’t, I lied.

Donna: I'm 10 times funnier and sexier than you

Master: 10 times 0 is still 0 though

Donna: Jokes on you, I can't do math

Master: What’s up guys? I’m back.

Doctor: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die.

Master: Death is a social construct.

Doctor: Am I going too far?

Master: No, no, no. You went too far about seven hours ago. Now you're going to prison.

Doctor: Don’t worry, I know exactly what I’m doing. Everything is going to be fine!

Donna: How can you still say that?

Doctor: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

Master: Fool me once, I’m gonna kill you

Doctor: Not trying to brag or anything, but I can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so...

Master, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him

Doctor: You did WHAT–

Donna: William Snakepeare

Doctor: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?

Donna: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.

Master: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.

Donna: Good thinking.

Donna: You have to apologise to the Doctor

Master: Fine.

Master: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

Doctor: Dandelions symbolise everything I want to be in life

Donna: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?

Doctor: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.

Master: edible

Donna: What did you do with the body?

Master: What didn’t I do with the body?

Donna:

Master: Okay, that sounded more sexual than I intended. I disposed of the corpse respectfully.

Donna: We need to get through this locked door. Doctor, give me your credit card.

Doctor: Here.

Donna, pocketing it: Thanks. Master, kick down the door.

Doctor: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.

Master: The cow???

Doctor: What?

Donna: Master, W H Y?

Doctor: HELP! I TOLD DONNA I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK!

Master, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

Donna: Are you sure this is the right direction?

Master: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!

Doctor: In that case, we're definitely lost.

Store Worker: Would a Mr. Doctor please come to the front desk?

Doctor, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: points to the Master and Donna

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Master and Donna, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Doctor: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

Master: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.

Donna: We're playing Scrabble. It's a nightmare.

Master: Scrabble? Scrabble's great.

Donna: Not when you're playing with the Doctor, it's not. They put words like "ephemeral" and I put "dog

[strelitzia-mystery1097]

The Amazing Digital Circus: Human Games

So I want to throw my hat into the ring of TADC AUs so... here's the start of an idea. Please tell me know if you like this! ^-^

Pomni pulled at her jester hat as she spiralled. This place was breaking her. Day after day after day after day. She's already lost so much to this damned digital circus and yet it still takes more and more from her until she abstracts.

The only remotely good thing that came out of this was her friends(?) that try to help in their own ways. Ragatha somehow didn't hate her after she left her for dead at the abstracted Kaufmo's hands (well he didn't really have hands but that's not the point). Instead she's the first to ask Pomni how's she's feeling. Gangle has been showing Pomni her art and excitingly explain about her favourite animes. Zooble lets Pomni chill out in their room when Pomni needs space to keep an eye on her. Kinger has invited Pomni on bug collecting adventures and occasionally a game of chess. Even f#&%ing Caine and Bubble have tried to be accommodating in their terrible but earnest way.

There is just one person who gets on everyone's nerves, including hers.

"Hey Jester, you mind jesting me?"

Pomni looked up to see the lanky rabbit learing over her. Jax was smirking and looking down on her as she's hunched into a ball near the stage. Everyone else is off doing their own thing so it's just them here.

"Can you just leave me alone for once?" Pomni asked as she lookedat her knees.

"And miss one of your entertaining spirals? I don't think so Pom-pom."

...

"Ha... ha ha... hahahahahahaha. HAHAHA... HA... I get it now." Pomni giggled as her mind unravelled slightly.

"Oh?"

Pomni stood up and looked at Jax with hateful pity.

"I'm fine with doing whatever. As long as I get to see funny things happen to people, that's what you said the day we met."

"Yeah? Congrats on remembering but I'm not following your blatant insanity." Jax said as he leaned back and tilted his head, curious.

"You need us. You would break without us."

Jax looked confused before he started laughing.

"Pfft! You really have lost your marbles! I don't need you nutcases for anything."

"You don't like Caine's games. Be being awful and seeing our reactions you stay sane. By causing real reactions from real people you become real."

"Isn't that a bit dramatic? If you're abstracting then can you buzz off because I don't want to deal with that."

"..." Pomni ignored him and just smiled with scribbled out eyes.

"Welp, enjoy your raging insanity. I'll go find someone more funny than you clown." Jax said as he walked away.

When Jax left Pomni had an idea.

"Would it be a bad thing to get Jax off of his f#&%ing high horse?... Nah."

Once Pomni had a clever idea she went to find Caine.

After calling out his name three times Pomni found Caine behind the curtains of the stage with Bubble.

"Ah! Hello Pomni! How is your permanent stay going?" Caine asked.

"It's... fine. Caine, can we talk? I have an idea for an adventure. "

"Of course Pomni! I'm all ears!"

"Not really. You're all eyes-" Bubble said before Caine popped Bubble.

"Yeah... so you are aware that Jax doesn't find your adventures very fun, right?"

"I... am aware of it. He gets quite bored or even destructive when he participates at times. You humans are quite confusing with how differently you all respond to my adventures."

"Well... I got something I want to try out that Jax might like."

"Gazooks! Pomni I haven't seen you be so invested in any of my adventures like this before! Now I'm dying to know what your amazing idea is!"

"Well, I think Jax is probably missing being human, so why don't we play some... human games. Let me explain..."

And that is it for now. Thank you for reading!