#please please please just look outside or even in a fucking walmart you can see how much differently boys vs girls toys are advertised

[milkycarnations]

Kinktober 2022

|Week Four| Clockwork x afab!Reader | car sex, overstimulation, spanking | 818 words

kinktober masterlist | public sex, exhibitionism, parking lot, pussy slapping, light impact play, fingering, cunnilingus, teasing, lesbian sex

Written for @just-a-creep-babe's #creepkinks.

Sorry, this one is so so short. I've been holding onto it for so long and just couldn't find anything else to add, so I have to finally get it out there.

And it's finally done! I want to give a final thanks to @just-a-creep-babe for this wonderful prompt challenge. I know it took an absurdly long time, but I had some unexpected life-changing things happen while writing these. But that's not the point! I think I strongly improved my writing with these and really got put outside of my comfort zone. I do plan to do something like this again in the future (maybe another kinktober?), but it will definitely be on a much smaller scale so I can put out higher quality and more consistent posts. Enjoy!

Natalie turned the car off, the sudden stop of the rumbling engine leaving the two of you in silence. The Walmart parking lot had been empty, except for two or three other cars parked far away from you. Regardless, the bright white lights shone into the car and made you feel exposed. If anyone had decided to walk past, they would definitely see you completely undressed and at her mercy.

"Feeling comfy yet?" Nat asked. She frowned as she saw you scanning the parking lot.

"This was your idea," she said, "but you can back out if it's really bugging you that bad."

"No," you looked at her from the back seat, "I can't wait any longer. I want you now."

Relaxing, she smirked at you.

"I knew you had it in you, you dirty girl." she flung herself from the driver's seat, shuffling herself into the foot space below you. Her face was now leveled right near your pussy.

"You got to get this off first," she said, tugging at your pants.

You helped as she unbuttoned them and pulled them off of you, leaving you in your panties. Feeling yourself become even needier for her, you spread your legs open for her and slouched down. Her hands reached around your thighs, propping them above her shoulders.

"Damn, Nat,"

She giggled in response, tracing a finger over your clothed clit. Her touch was soft and teasing and it only made you ache even more for her. It wasn't enough and you were already so desperate for her. Natalie looked up from between your legs.

"What's wrong?" she smirked.

"Please, skip the foreplay. I just want you to make me cum."

"Aww, there's no fun in playing like that."

Regardless, she pulled down your panties, throwing them onto the floor of the car. Your pussy was now bare to her, cold from your arousal already starting to drip onto the car seat. Putting her thumb against your clit, she continued to rub small circles. You flinched, rutting into her hand.

"Sensitive already?"

"Yeah, when you're teasing like that," you whined.

"I thought you wanted more, but you can't handle it?" she laughed.

"I can handle it. Please, I just want to cum so badly Nat."

Wordlessly, she pressed her tongue along your folds, letting out small kitten licks. Each swipe of her tongue had your toes curling. You reached your hand out and ran your fingers through her hair, holding her head steady. As she ate you out, she steadily hummed into your pussy, moaning and giggling.

With a flick of her tongue across your clit, she pushed a finger into you. She pulled her head back.

"So wet for me already. I know you like being teased, baby."

As you went to protest, she started to suck on your clit. Your grip on her hair tightened.

"Fuck, that's too much."

She continued sucking slowly and pumped another finger into you. Each curl of her fingers pressed against your g-spot and made your mind go fuzzy. You could barely argue with her as she worked them into you. Out of the haze of your pleasure, a light slap hit your pussy. You jumped.

"Look at how wet you are. You're getting my seats dirty you know."

She let out another slap, slightly harder this time. You bucked up to meet her hand, each slap only slightly providing any stimulation for your sensitive clit.

"C'mere hun," without another word she extended her tongue again, steadily swiping at your clit. Body trembling with each pass, your legs quickly grew tense, wrapping tighter around her face. A muffled laugh sounded between your thighs, sending pleasant vibrations your way. You didn't last much longer before the rubber band pulling in your stomach snapped.

"That's a good girl," she said, continuing to thrust her fingers into you as you rode the high of your first orgasm. The sensation of your own cum running down your legs and painting Nat's face was overwhelming, but her lips met yours again, nonetheless. You jumped, fingers tightening around strands of her hair.

"Woah,"

"What, you can't take a lil more for me?" she asked you.

"No," she ran her tongue softly across your pussy, "it's too much."

She does it again.

"I'm too sensitive, Nat!" you begged.

"But I'm being so gentle, would my fingers be better?"

Switching to rubbing her thumb in circles, you let out a squeal. The friction of her rough finger pads was swarming your senses.

"Please, Nat!"

Your legs began to shake again as you pleaded with her.

"Fine," she sighed, smiling. Giving you a quick kiss before pulling herself away from your lower half.

"Time to keep moving anyway, huh." she reached over to the front seat to grab a blanket and placed it beside you.

"Let me get you something to clean up and then you can hit the hay."

[thefandomenchantress]

DRDT Incorrect Quotes: Pt. 2

I finally made a part two yaaaay!

Hu: Where is everybody?

Ace:  Eden had a nervous breakdown, Levi is looking after her, Rose went back to bed, Teruko is trying to kill David, and I'm in charge.

Hu: YOU'RE IN CHARGE?!?

Ace: Why is THAT the only thing you’re panicking about?!?

…

David: Oh, so now I'm 'bad' just because I've done bad things in the past, continue doing so in the present, and will likely do so in the future?

…

Charles: Can you please be serious for five minutes?

Whit: My record is four, but I’ll see what I can do.

…

J: I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.

Arei: It’s not a joke!

Arei: *Sniffle*

Arei: I’m a legit snack.

…

Teruko: Xander isn’t answering his phone.

David: I’ll call.

Teruko: Eden and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi—

Xander: *Through the phone* Hello?

…

Nico: *Bursts into the room* Guys, I impulsively bought a snake, what should I name him?

Everyone: YOU DID WHAT?

Whit: William Snakespeare.

…

Arturo: I have the sharpest memory here! Name one time I forgot something!

Arei: You left me, Ace, and Veronika in a Walmart parking lot at 2am a day ago.

Arturo: I did that on purpose, try again.

…

Teruko: Why is Ace so sad?

David: He took one of those, ‘Which Character Are You’ quizzes.

Teruko: …And?

David: He got Nico.

…

Xander: Rules are made to be broken!

Min: They’re meant to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.

Whit: Uh, piñatas.

Ace: Glow sticks.

David: Karate Boards.

Rose: Spagetti when you have a small pot.

Xander: Rules.

Min:

…

Veronika: Then they ran into my knife. They ran into my knife ten times.

Arturo: …You mean you stabbed them?

Veronika: They ran into my knife.

…

Whit: Sometimes, I don’t even realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and realize everyone is staring at me weird.

…

(The Cake Gang when they drop food on the ground)

Min: Aw, man. *Throws it away*

Teruko: Eh, five second rule.

Rose: Foolish germs, thinking they can stop me. *Eats it off the floor*

Eden: *Sobs on the floor*

…

Teruko: Where’s Xander?

Min: Don’t worry, I’ll find him.

Min, shouting: DAVID SUCKS!

Xander, distantly: David is the best person ever! Fuck you!

Min: Found him.

…

Eden, trying her first cup of coffee: I. AM. ENERGY!!! *Runs around in circles*

David, an avid coffee drinker, on his twelfth cup of the day: Someone slap me awake or I am literally going to fall into a coma in the next ten seconds.

…

Teruko: You spent all your money on this?

Nico, putting tiny raincoats on ducklings: They live outside. They need this.

…

Hu: Fine. While I’m gone, Arei, you’re in charge.

Arei: Yes!!!

Hu, whispering: Min, you’re secretly in charge.

Min: Obviously.

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls-Season 2, Episode 1 ("Sadie Sadie")

Full steam ahead! We have now arrived at Season 2, the Jess Season. It's gonna be an absolute fucking nightmare that I am not looking forward to. Enjoy! Please visit the Denise Rewatches Gilmore Girls tag for all of my past reviews!

Thanks to MaxMedina, SH is absolutely infested with daisies. People are stepping on daisies. They're shaking daisies out of their pants. There's daisies in the food. I am praying Dean Forrester is allergic to daisies and becomes absolutely debilitated with hay fever. Michel is most likely still complaining about how daisies are weeds and is even more insufferable to work with than usual.

I'm pretty sure some kind of daisy-cult has sprouted up in the aftermath of MaxMedina's pre-proposal manipulation tactic.

Peep this guy with a TJ Maxx bag, lol. Someone escaped The Hollow/Daisy Cult and visited the outside world! Good for you, guy.

You gotta respect the hustle of this dude in the background, living in a town where yellow daisies are so free and plentiful they're growing freely out of people's buttcracks, to set up a cart to try and SELL them. Some Stars Hollowans are not so bright. You can see it looks like someone is actually buying them. "A Stars Hollowan and their money are soon parted". -Famous Quote.

God I fucking love shows from the early 2000's. Lane referring to her "parents" sending her to Korea, instead of just her mother.

Just want to take a moment to check out all these vintage magazine covers. Lorelai pays Bootsy for her magazine (he doesn't look up from his paper to see how much she gave him, but still) but she can't pay Luke for her food.

That's a lot of bridal magazines for a town where Lorelai is probably the only person who is currently semi-engaged. Rory buys a bridal mag for Lorelai for $6. That seems like a pretty outrageous price for a magazine in 2001. Bootsy must be in cahoots with the guy selling daisies. We learn that Lorelai has not yet accepted Max's proposal.

The DaisyCult members are gathering.

Not to sound like a broken record but but doesn't anyone in Stars Hollow have a job? How does their economy not collapse? Does the town survive on tourism, outsiders buying snowglobes and keychains? Because clearly the people who actually live here are bored and desperate for stimulation. Rory Gilmore needs to get a job. Okay, where was I... Lorelai: Everything about me turns Luke off. My coffee, my eating habits. I called him Ranger Bob last week! Kinky.

These people crushed up against the door blocking the exit are a real fire hazard.

LORELAI HE'S USING A CAN OF SUPERMARKET COFFEE RIGHT OUT IN THE OPEN. HE HAS NO FUCKING SHAME! YOU'RE LOOKING AT IT! THIS IS LUKE'S SUPER SPECIAL SECRET BLEND THAT YOU GO INTO WITHDRAWLS OVER! Your whole life is a lie! Do you have nothing to say?!

A can of Hills Brothers coffee is currently $8.48 at Walmart. Eventually he upgrades to Folgers. Luke: "Fresh" (lol) coffee will be ready in a minute unless you want to roll up a dollar bill and go nuts. Cocaine joke! Whee! Luke:This whole town should be medicated and put in a rec room with ping pong tables and hand puppets. Lorelai tells Luke that Max proposed and he responds with his maximum level of Luke Enthusiasm: "Eh, I figured."

Tomatos Sign: spotted. Luke absolutely fries Lorelai's brain by getting her to admit she's about to accept this bozo MaxMedina's proposal without them having discussed very important pre-marriage things...like where they're going to live. Honestly, Lorelai. Luke seems like the sensible one now, but in A Year In The Life, it seems as if Luke & Lorelai are discussing having children together for the first time after they've known each other for over 20 years. But we don't count A Year In The Life. It never happened. Never heard of it. Lorelai retruns to her seat and asks Rory what happened. Kirk has passed out. Everyone outside is just staring at Kirk laying on the the ground and no one is helping him or calling for help.

This shot puzzles me, because (unless someone wants to fill me in on something I missed?) I don't understand the context of this ring and why we're seeing an extended closeup of it and her fidgeting with it until she took it off. Nothing was mentioned about Max buying her a ring yet (besides a Ring Pop), but with the level of discomfort she's exhibiting by looking at her hand and then pulling it off her finger, I will assume it came from him? Is it just her own personal ring but she's imagining there's an engagement ring on her hand instead? Maybe that's it. Okay. Look. I fucking loved butterflies growing up. For a good 10 year span, I needed everything I owned to have butterflies on them. I dreamed one of one day having a butterfly themed wedding and yes even a butterfly ring. But that ring looks like it came out of a gumball machine at Walmart (next to the aisle with the Hills Brothers coffee). Probably the same gumball machine where Dean found Rory's "medallion". Surely he can afford something a little better on his fat Private School English Teacher paycheck.

You can afford all those books, now go to a real jewelry store. After Luke fries her brain, Lorelai ends up calling MaxMedina in a panic in the middle of a Friday Night Dinner to ask him these reasonable and important pre-marriage questions. His response only serves to manipulate/ confuse her further by saying "You'd only be asking me these things if you were going to say yes to my proposal." And by her giddy reaction mere moments later, we know she apparenly accepted...a proposal over the phone. And by the brief period of time between the conversation taking place and her freaking out, we are to assume the questions she called him to ask were either never answered or discussed for about 1 minute. Good luck you two. Later, Max calls the GillyGirls household and Rory picks up while Lorelai is standing next to her. Max confides in Rory that he's ring shopping and he asks for her advice on Lorelai's tastes in jewelry. He's shopping for a real ring. Oh thank god.

Look Rory, you know Max has a history of taking suggestions way too literally, as the Yellow Daisy Lung epidemic sweeps through Stars Hollow. You need to make it clear that you're kidding. This is 2001, so instead of texting pictures of the rings, he has to literally describe them. "The first one has a gold band and sort of a square diamond." How quaint. Email with pictures did exist in 2001, Max, but I suppose he realizes that The Hollow is severely behind the times technology wise and that an email would take at least another 5 years to reach them.

SHUDDER. He's back and with an even stupider haircut. Are we recovered from that last horrible kiss? Because whatever time off Jared Padalecki had between filming the last episode of the 1st season and the 1st episode of the second, he did not spend practicing kissing on his pillow/ blowup doll. Get that eye bleach out again, if you have any left. Of course Dean asks "where's your Mom?" The real love of his life.

You got this JarPad...you can do it...just kiss her without making a face like you're licking a block of salt...

Swingandamiss. Dean Garbageface: I missed that. Rory: Yeah me too. I doubt it.

I honestly don't know how so many people who watch this show are oblivious to the DALA (Dean and Lorelai affair) Dean: Long pause to process his girlfriend's mother coming onto him. "Uh. You need me to change your water bottle don't you?" She needs you to "change her water bottle" just like Luke was "fixing her porch rail." Rory steps outside to find Dean cranking on Lorelai's water bottle. He's probably dreaming of that special time in every teenage boy's life when their girlfriend's mother gives them a handjob. Lord knows Rory never gave him one while they were dating (also the reason Jess was constantly cranky).

Rory asks Dean to come to Friday Night dinner, and Dean hesitates. What's the ultimatium going to be this time? Say whaaaat? He agrees to go (after Rory assures him her grandmother is no longer mad at him for falling asleep with her at the dance)? No complaints? No ultimatium? No pouting? I'm stunned. Lorelai calls Dean back into the house to help her reach a can on a high shelf presumably so she can look at his butt while he's doing it.

Look at this doof in his doofy necklace. Dean: I'm just gonna sit here and stare at my hands. Good boy. Glad you know your place. If anyone needs me, I'm going to be over here delighting in how much Richard dislikes Dean. Flat out ignores the doofus when he tries to shake his hand LOL

I thought you were just going to sit there and silently stare at your hands. Sit back down. Lorelai: I can't believe you found a recipe for Beef-A-Roni. Emily: Let's just say it's not beef. Ah, humans. The Gilmores are serving human meat. Probably one of their former maids. Got it.

Me glaring at Dean every time he moves or talks or blinks or breathes or exists. Lorelai: Uh, I bet there's a fabulous dessert waiting in the kitchen. Emily: Yes, Twinkies. I know how much Rory loves Twinkies. Twinkies filled with...human meat? Richard: So, Dean, where are you going to college? Dean: It's called Sleep with Your Daughter University. If ya'll hate me right now I understand. I do. Emlly: Please, Richard, don't grill the boy. If only someone would literally put him on a grill. Sigh....I am pulling one of my infrequent Dean Cards here. Dean was....not bad in this episode. Sure, his mere existence makes my blood curdle, but he didn't DO anything. He didn't complain or give Rory an ultimatium to attend the dinner, he went willingly, was visibly uncomfortable but tried his best and got rewarded with Rory's grandfather death-staring and grilling him the entire night for no reason whatsoever, and when it was over he didn't even transfer his frustration onto poor Rory like he usually does and make her feel like it was her fault.

She's making it sound like he's Prince Charming making an appearance at the ball (ooof, I almost forgot about the fucking Debutante Ball that's on the horizon) when in reality he is a 17 year old dork in a puka-shell necklace who gets C's in math and whose only marketable skills are bagging groceries and making necklaces out of old quarters. The DALA affair chugs along. Lorelai assures Rory that the only reason she thinks Richard was hostile to Dean is because RIchard thinks Dean will get her pregnant and she'll drop out of school like Lorelai. And somehow he managed to be half right on both accounts. Rory:"I'm not going to get pregnant." Lorelai (When It's Dean): I know that. (how exactly does she know that though?) Lorelai: (When it's Jess): He's not allowed to drive up to the house while I'm not here because he'll get you pregnant if he so much as steps into the living room (this was the actual basis of the episode "Swan Song") Sookie calls Emily to tell her she's planning Lorelai's weddng and of course Emily had no idea. Emily demands Richard apologize to Rory because Lorelai just excluded them from her wedding, and in the future Emily doesn't want Rory to hate them and exclude them from her wedding (a wedding which of course she never has, at least not while Richard was still alive). In a very rare display, mysterious salty drops (tears) almost begin to form at the corner of Emily's eyes. Lorelai and Max are sitting on the porch talking and he pulls a ring out of frigging nowhere. It's not in a box or anything. it's not even in his pocket. He just opens his hand, and it's there. It's too big for Lorelai's finger because the gumball machine just spit out the little plastic egg and he had to take whatever he got for his quarter (just kidding, he actually just wasted a buttload of money on a real ring when Lorelai is going to get cold feet in a few weeks and call off the entire engagement) but anyway he wants to take it off to get it resized. "Just let me get it sized and you'll never have to take it off again." Maxmillian, you sweet naive summer child.

Let's end this mild trainwreck of an episode on a funny note.

[crimsun-n-clover]

went to see barbie today with maggie, daisy, alex, and ruth.

maggie and i cried dude it was AMAZING

a lot of it was maggie either pointing at me or alex for the characters doing something stupid that even SLIGHTLY related to us

alex was almost late which had the other three losing their goddamn MINDS. pacing and saying his name trying to summon him n shit. maggie said “he’s probably pulled over with a double cheeseburger smoking a cigarette and listening to van halen” mag i know you don’t know i smoke but that sounds like the best day of my life. instead of shuttling you three around i could’ve been splitting a pack of camels at burger king with the guy i’m tied for as biggest van halen fan? yes please.

anyways it was such a good movie. very funny, amazing comedic timing, very relevant, whimsical, earnest, charming, all that. it feels like an old cult classic you find out about when you’re in middle school that changes your life. it’s like rocky horror but socially acceptable. represents an oppressed community as the majority of the characters and anyone who isn’t included in that group is treated as the outsiders for once, is so warm and silly and there’s things you can still laugh at every time you watch, and a little bit at the end that you didn’t expect to make you cry so hard.

it’s very quotable and so sweet and genuine. all the doll characters really do seem like they’re being controlled by idealistic children.

i just know that maggie and i are gonna refer to my trailer as stevie’s mojo dojo casa house.

we got a lot of photos of us in our feminine doll outfits and we looked really cool. i was basically in a relaxed version of my homecoming look. black v neck dress, bigass eyeliner, beehive hair and nicely done bangs.

we went to waffle house after but alex had to go home right after the movie. i’m not as close to ruth as maggie is so it was a little weird but i still get along with her just fine. again, i knew everyone on the shift and my friends thought it was crazy.

after waffle house i took daisy home and the rest of us went to fuck around in walmart. i got the last two metallica cds i was missing and tried not to cry. there’s a photo of me in the mini arcade at the front of the store holding them while on the tiny kids merry go round waiting for ruth to finish something.

mag had a breakdown when she got home over not being able to fully be herself around daisy and ruth, which i completely understand. she’s the designated funny friend who no one bothers to check in on or take seriously. she kept saying “well maybe i’m just wrong because ruth just goes to therapy and writes it in her journal she doesn’t hold grudges or make enemies like we do stevie” and that’s when i told her that she’s a main character of my diary blog so hey. me fuckin too. ruth is just a lame christian who doesn’t get fucked over as much as we do.

today was a good day. but still, i had to do so much to avoid my parents. wake up at a certain time, leave when i hear dad turn on the shower, and not come home until they went out to dinner. this is my fucking house man.

i think i had other things to say but my brain is FRIED right now. too much hairspray and eggos or something i guess.

[ezm-imagines]

I know we don’t like j*hn w*lker... but I need bucky x reader with a side of bucky and walmart cap drama — like fake cap just constantly hitting on reader and bucky (or reader honesty) putting him in his place?

feel free to ignore this if it doesn’t spark inspiration!!

jealousy, jealousy (bb imagine)

Summary: John Walker being gross to you and Bucky being pisses about it.

Word Count: 1.6k

“He makes me sick,” Bucky gritted through his teeth, watching as Walker took your wrist and led you across the bar.

The team had needed more information from Madripoor, but since Bucky and Sam had already blown their covers quite recently, they had sent in you and Walker.

You two were pretending to be a well-known mafia couple: you had on a tight, revealing red dress and John had his gross hands all over you. He was clearly loving it. You were clearly not.

Bucky and Sam sat undercover in the corner of the bar as back-up if anything happened, meaning Bucky had a front row seat of watching Walker be more disgusting than usual.

You said something to the bartender with a laugh and Walker joined in with a short comment and more laughter, slinking his hand around your waist.

Even from across the room, Bucky knew you well enough to tell how you tensed the second his hand contacted your skin. Ever the actor, he was sure no one else could recognize it. But he did.

He balled his hands into fists, trying to use the pain and the pressure of its tightness to calm himself down.

“You need to chill,” Sam muttered beside him, “I know you like Y/N but if you blow up, you’re going to get her killed. Walker’s just doing his job.”

“Hah,” Bucky barked out a bitter laugh, “Yeah, and he’s loving it just a little too much.”

“Look, you think I like this anymore than you? I hate watching this shit, man. Y/N’s like a sister to me. But suffering Walker’s touch is better than a bullet wound from each gun in the building. Here,” he pushed his drink over to Bucky, “You need this more than me.”

Bucky slid it back. He was not in the mood to drink. Even if alcohol had little effect on him anyway, he wanted to be stone cold sober as he watched Walker.

Walker took a casual look around the bar as he continued to make conversation with the bartender. His eyes fell on Bucky’s glare and he smirked.

As he continued speaking, his hand traveled down your backside to rest on your butt. The bartender couldn’t see it, and even if they could, it would just be in line with your covers. But Walker knew what he was doing. When the bartender began responding, Walker gave a little wink back to Bucky as he squeezed your butt.

“I’m gonna kill him,” Bucky grit out, his Winter Soldier side coming fully alive.

Sam clamped a hand on Bucky’s arm, “Don’t. You. Dare.”

“But you see what he’s fucking doing! He’s taking advantage of her!”
“And he’s trying to piss off you! Anyone who comes within a mile of you and Y/N can tell you’re head over heels for her. It’s a power move. He’s trying to assert a position over us. And her.”

“Oh, I’m going to assert something…”

“Like hell you are. You’re going to sit here and wait for them to give the signal and then we leave.”

“And we leave Walker behind, bleeding to death in some alleyway.”

“Barnes—“

But Sam’s words were interrupted, as you leaned down to readjust the straps of your heels: the signal that you had gotten the information you needed.

Walker grinned broadly with your ass on full display as you bent over. He gave it a little slap and made some joking remark to the bartender, who heartily agreed with him.

Bucky was seething. Thank fuck you guys were about to leave, because he was about to make another Winter Soldier scene in Madripor and kill everyone in eyesight.

You stood back up, gave Walker an intense look, and began strutting towards the door of the bar.

Walker took the last swig of his drink and set down cash on the bar before running off after you.

“We should wait a while before we leave,” Sam instructed.

“And give Walker alone time with her? No fucking way.” Bucky stood up immediately and stalked out of the bar.

Sam sighed and finished his drink before following to make sure Bucky wasn’t about to do something stupid.

By the time the boys had come outside and found you in the alleyway around the corner, Walker already had blood streaming down his cheek.

“— if you EVER pull ANYTHING like that again I will leave you in a dumpster to rot, you fucking hear me?”

“Come on, baby, I know you have a crush on me. You’re just scared of admitting it in front of Barnes, but I can tell with the looks you give me.”
“The looks of pure hatred? God, you’re fucking delusional.”

“Says the bitch who’s pretending she doesn’t like me.”

You opened your mouth to reply, but found Bucky’s metal hand wrapped around Walker’s throat within a blink of an eye, “Do I need to shut you up or can I cut off your fucking hands first so you never touch a lady like that again?”

He landed a sharp punch to Walker’s nose, “If you even breathe in her direction again—“

“What?” Walker laughed through his bleeding nose, “You’ll kill me? Fuck, you’re angrier than she is. Gee, I wonder why that could be…?”

Bucky grabbed Walker by his button up and threw him across the alleyway, slamming him against the brick wall.

“You’re gonna make a scene,” Sam warned.

“It’s fucking worth it if I never see him again,” Bucky replied, stalking over to where Walker’s body had fallen.

Walker groaned, but quickly picked himself up. Stupid super soldier serum.

He swung punches at Bucky but missed each one until Bucky grabbed one arm from the air and twisted it around him, “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about,” Bucky hissed in his ear.

“Oh, I don’t?” Walker smirked, “It’s pretty obvious, Buck. I mean, it’s one thing to find out that the Winter Soldier has feelings, it’s another to find out he’s a little puppy bitch for the girls he likes.”

This distraction allowed Walker to get a hit on Bucky, square in his jaw.

The shouting and the fighting was beginning to draw a crowd. Shit. Shit shit shit.

You ran in between the two men, prying them from each other.

“Knock it off!” You shouted, before muttering out of earshot of the spectators, “You’re gonna fucking get us all killed. Let’s get back to the quinjet and you guys can kill each other there.”

The boys separated, but not without a few last hits each.

***

Bucky was wrapping his hand on his bed in the Tower when he heard a knock at the door.

“Enter,” he called, not looking up from his wounds.

When you said they could fight later, they hadn’t taken that lightly. They had fought even harder than when he and Sam had taken the shield away from Walker the other week.

“Hey,” you stepped inside.

Bucky immediately forgot about what he was doing, all attention on you, “Hey.”

“How ya holdin’ up?” You motioned to his first aid kit.

“I’ll be fine in a day. It’s really nothing.”
You quirked an eyebrow, “Your forehead is split open.”

He let his fingers slide across the large gash that slid down his forehead and toward his temple. The bleeding had stopped at least.

“Like I said,” he continued with a calm smile, “I’ll be fine.”

You shook your head and made your way over to sit beside him. You took the alcohol and a few cotton pads from the first aid kit, wetting them, “You know, you didn’t need to beat him up for me. I could do that on my own.”

You dabbed the cotton on his forehead cut, but he barely flinched at the pain. Guess he was used to pain, huh?
“I know,” he replied truthfully. He clearly had no doubt of that, “It wasn’t about defending you.”
Your eyes slid from his cut down to meet his, “Then what was it about?”

Suddenly, you couldn’t remember how to breathe normally anymore. You were so close to him, and he was looking up at you from under his lashes with those bright blue eyes…

Until he wasn’t. He looked down. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” You questioned, “Because it sounded like Walker did.”

Bucky’s voice was hoarse as he spoke up, “What do you want me to say?”

“The truth would be nice,” you teased lightly. But when he looked at you again, his gaze was anything but light.

You swallowed thickly.

“I mean, obviously I care about you, Y/N. You’ve been here for me for years. I don’t like seeing someone take advantage of you. Especially like that.”

“Is that it?”

He hung his head, “I know what you’re trying to do here, doll, but don’t make me say it. You deserve better than me. Someone like Sam or Steve. It’s better like this.”

“For who? Because it isn’t for me.” You took his rough, flesh hand in yours, “Buck. Come on. Please.”

He closed his eyes and sighed, before just saying what he’d wanted to say for years now, “I love you, doll. Always have. I don’t like seein’—“

But you interrupted him with a kiss. He melted into it desperately, afraid this was the only one he’d ever get. The moment you started pulling away, he stopped, accepting the inevitable.

“I love you, too, dummy. You don’t get to get away from me that easy.”

He blushed slightly, before speaking up, “Then can we do that again?”

You grinned and nodded, leaning back in to kiss him again. This time, he threaded a hand through your hair and pulled your jaw into him.

Okay. So maybe Walker was good for one thing…

[eyeless-cunt]

taking advantage of the fact that the request are open haha, how would the creepypastas react if they killed their s/o accidentally? thnks love, much love 4 u

you woke up and and chose enternal suffering

TW: Death of the reader, blood, gore, angst, depressive thoughts, hintings of panic attacks, mentions of suicide,....necrophilia....?, mentions of pills, paranoia, delusions :), ect.

Jeffery:

I'm Honestly not even sure how he could have accidentally killed you? He never takes you with him when he goes out to...do his things. He certainly never raised a knife towards you and he would never kill you out of anger. So how did this even happen?

He blacked out. He was just sitting with you, laughing about nothing important. That's all he can remember. So where are you? And whose blood is he covered in right now? It's brown and crumbly, signiling that it's been a good few hours since he came into contact with it. Where are you? He wants to see you, ask what happened. He never even noticed he was holding a knife washed in blood until he stood up, the object falling from his loose hand. Did he kill someone? When? Where? Where's the body? Where are you? Is this a dream? Where are you? He turns in circles, looking for a body. Where are you? He smells that familair scent in the air--that smell that arises from the corpses he mutilates. Where are you? He peeks behind a close by tree, expecting to see a random stranger of whom may have just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Where are you?

THERE YOU ARE

Wobbiling legs, vacant eyes, a shaky hand outstretched towards an all too familar body. Why are you here? What's wrong with you? Shaky breaths, his heart that seems to stop for a whole few seconds--and suddenly—all too suddenly, the realization of what he's done hits him so hard he loses the feeling in his legs, falling beside your weeping corpse as you stare him in the eyes, filling him with a sense of glorified dread. The emotions that his brain can't seem to comprehend are flooding in all at once and far too fast, crippiling him with something that escaped him the night he killed his family. How did this happen? Why? What? Confusion and horror seeps into his bones and shoots him down, peircing his lungs in a way that leaves him gasping for air that he just can't seem to hold onto.

Jane:

She was just too obsessed. She went too far without looking around at her surroundings. Her hunt for Jeffery pushed her too hard. Before she knew it, she was standing over a body that she shouldn’t have been. As soon as she did it, her spiked anger flushed out of her system, a cold bucket of realization and horror washing over her. Immediately, apologies spew out of her mouth from behind her mask. She hurt her s/o out of pure anger of which she didn’t try hard enough to control. She’s so sure that you’ve just been knocked unconscious—she’s positive that your bleeding head wound isn’t fatal. No, you’ll be fine. Huh? Where’s your pulse? What?

Her nerves flare up, horror spiking back up again; as if it never went down in the first place. She’s not a delusional idiot. She doesn’t try to shake you awake. She won’t call out for you, expecting a response. Jane doesn’t pray to a dead god in the hope that you’ll awaken and smile at her, saying that you forgive her. That you know it was an accident. That you still love her. No. What she does is bury your body. She reflects the blame onto someone else. Jeffery. You were arguing with her about her continuous hunt for him. You told her that you wanted her to stop—you wanted her to forget. Jeffery caused this. He was the subject of the argument. He’s taken yet another person from her.

BEN:

How did this happen to him? To you? He should have been more careful. He should have known this would happen sooner or later. He should have stayed away from you. Why was he like this? Of course this happened to him, to you; the person he loved most. It was fine. It was alright. You were having fun. He was so happy just to be able to spend time with you. Why would he let you put in the plug? So close to him? He naturally collects electricity. He knows that. So why would he let himself stand so close to you as you plugged in the controller.

A lapse in judgement. He forgot. He was too focused on the way you looked today. You had only woken up an hour ago, a messy appearance still making his dead heart race. That’s no excuse. How did this happen to him? He knows how. So why can’t he feel anything? Why can’t he move his limbs? Why does he feel worse now than he had when he was drowning at the bottom of a lake? Why is he feeling like that but also simultaneously feeling nothing at the same time? Did he break? Yeah. Staring down at this body, he starts to think he might have broke. He might have just died again. He wants to die again. Please let him die again.

EJ:

He was careful with you for years. He had to be. He could break a hand just by holding it so easily. He could lose to his cravings and sink his teeth into your neck at any time. He could rip your head off with no effort at all if he were to brush your hair with anything other than small, fleeting and gentle touches. So how did this happen? He’s always been so careful. His eating schedule always revolved around you. He would have to leave for a few days so he could eat away from you, so he usually held off on leaving for months if he could.

He knew he shouldn’t have. Spending more time with you at the cost of your own life wasn’t worth it. It wasn’t logical. If the hunger got too persistent he could go feral, accidentally killing you in the process. It wasn’t logical. He knew it wasn’t logical to stay with you longer if he was hungry. So why did he do it? How could he let this happen? The cold realization that he really did lose control hits him, the feeling in his limbs quickly leaving. Static. That’s all he could feel. Numb static. You’re everywhere. He wasn’t careful enough. He lost out to his feelings for the first time in hundreds of years. And you paid the price. It was his fault. It’s his fault. It’s his fault. HE DID THIS TO YOU.

He can’t function. The control he’s been holding over himself for a good thousand years breaks. He regresses back into what he was before he gained control. He no longer wants to have control if it leads to him falling in love with someone only to kill them later when he loses it again.

LJ:

He can’t even remember how this happened. The trauma blocking the horrible memories works fast. All he knows is that you’re leaking blood all over a table he doesn’t remember being here yesterday. All he knows is that you’re dead and he did this. He did this. No. No he didn’t. He didn’t. He wouldn’t. He would never hurt you. Who did this? He didn’t. Events take a morbid turn when his abandonment issues take a turn for the worse.

He won’t let the body go. Your body. He won’t let you leave him. So he holds you forever, just like he promised you he would when you first met all those years ago. He holds you through the decomposition process, he holds you until you’re only scattered bones. He holds you until your bones are dust and you’ve been gone longer than he can remember. He says to not worry. He likes holding you. He’ll hold you like this forever. Don’t worry. He’s sure you were so scared. Don’t worry. He’s got you. Don’t worry.

Masky:

He ran out of pills at the worst possible time. The paranoia hit him all at once, making him tape the windows and glue them shut, block the door, place a camera in all the doorways. He keeps seeing things. He keeps seeing the tall man in the darkest corner of his room. He needs more pills. But he can’t leave or the tall man will get him. He’s sure of it.

You just chose the wrong time to come over. You couldn’t have known. He didn’t even realize it was you. It was so dark. The pipe in his hand was slick with sweat. All too suddenly you’re on the floor bleeding out and his chest is heaving, air seemingly desperate to avoid him. The lights get turned on. Huh? Why are you—why? Why are you on the floor? Where is that blood coming from...? Like coffee to a drunk person, the sight of your bleeding out form sobers him—paranoia and hallucinatory visions seeping out of his veins. An almost unparalleled confusion makes him back away from you, making him trip over his steps. He can’t grasp what’s exactly happening at the moment. It takes him a few minutes to realize that his s/o is indeed bleeding out on his floor—and by then it’s far too late. He’s incompetent. His incompetency was the cause of your death. His cowardice. He was so weak it ended your life. That’s how he sees it.

Hoodie:

He can’t even believe he let you get into this situation with him. He was supposed to protect you. He was supposed to be strong enough—stable enough, to protect you. He was supposed to be able to keep his sanity so that he could keep you safe. He took his pills. He stayed away from the woods when he was with you. He stayed in public places with you, and never met at night. He always had a tape recording—so how did it go so wrong? He tried so hard. He tried so fucking hard to keep you safe. So fucking hard.

He thought it was okay to take a short walk with you. You weren’t even close to the woods, it was still a semi-public place. No one was out, and while that made him uneasy, he didn’t question it. He should have. He should have grabbed your hand and taken you to fucking McDonalds or some shit. Maybe a nice stroll through Walmart. Just not here. Not alone and outside. He put you in this situation. It was his fault. He didn’t mean it. He’s never been angrier in his whole existence. He doesn’t worry, he doesn’t fear. Hoodie isn’t scared of anything. But looking down at a corpse that once belonged to you, he finds that he does indeed fear one thing. The end of your life.

Toby:

As far as he’s concerned you never died. What? What do you mean you’re holding a funeral? For who? What? What do you mean? My significant other is sitting right beside me? Is this a joke? It’s not very funny. Can you please stop calling me delusional? Hallucinating? What the fuck are you on? Do you want me set you on fire?

No. You never died. In fact, he’s looking at your smiling face right now. You’re like the sun. So bright it hurts, but so pretty. You’re telling him about your day, although he finds it odd that you’re talking about work again even though you’ve been sitting in this field with him all day. You’re a bit inconsistent and confused these days, but that’s okay. We’ll get through it together. Just like we always have. You promised, remember? Together forever, even through death. <3

[mehphoobia]

HERE

Pairing- Tom Hiddleston x Reader (news channel anchor)

Summary- People say falling in love can be a scary experience. Well, that scary experience for you had a different meaning for you.

Warnings- blood, horror, mystery, thriller, suspense (I suggest get a water bottle for yourself)

REQUESTS OPEN | MASTERLIST

_____________________________🤍____________________________

"Susan Hive, another 25 y/o was found dead in her apartment approximately at 10:00 am today. Who is the mastermind behind these brutal murders? the mystery is still with the police to crack. The only witness in the case are the walls of the apartment which are covered in parts of human anatomy never seen before just like the other five murders. This is Y/N of NewsToday with cameraperson David on scene." You sighed after finishing your report and looked at the crime scene. The camera person packed his camera and headed towards the van as he couldn't handle the stench. With ripples on your forehead you contemplated your decision. Should you or should you not tell the officers.

But soon you let aside your dilemma. These were brutal murder cases that had everyone shook.

And you had a lead to follow.

"Who are you?" you whispered as you sat in your chair staring at the photo of the deceased Susan Hive with a man. The face was not visible as he wore a black hat and a black overcoat. "Typical" you said gesturing his attire, which was straight out of a murder mystery. Unfortunately, the officers couldn't find him. But the lead you had could directly deliver this man to you.

"North House please" explaining the address to the taxi driver, you couldn't miss his expressions. "You want to go to the North House?" he asked you with genuine concern. "If you are not comfortable, you can just drop me near the curb" you suggested understanding his hesitation. Reluctantly he drove the taxi and there you were. Standing outside the hospital for mental patients. "How much will it be?" asking the driver for the fare you rummaged through your purse.

"I will wait here miss. You can pay me later" he said. Of course, the deaths in this hospital would scare anyone. But you weren't here for the suicides, you were here for the murders.

"I am here to see someone. A Mrs. Hill." you spoke confidentially to the receptionist. "For an investigation, are we?" the receptionist questioned. "It's confidential" you replied with knitted eyebrows. "oh! of course it is." she chuckled.

The receptionist accompanied you to Mrs. Hill's room. She was the oldest patient, who had been in the hospital for for around thirty years. Every patient, every staff member; she had seen for herself. "Are you here for the investigation for Susan Hive?" the receptionist questioned. Your head whipped faster than the wings of a bee. "You knew her?" you enquired. "Yes, I knew all five of them. They were interning under me." she answered.

"Janice Dean" her ID card read. "Of course" you murmured. Ten days back you had found one of the victim's case file from the officers which had something in common. North House, all three of them worked here and now so did Susan Hive.

"Don't worry I won't bug her too much" putting a and on Ms. Dean's shoulder you reassured her. She offered you a tired smile. With that she unlocked the door and you saw Mrs. Hill sitting on her chair.

"He killed another one didn't he?" she enquired in her shaky voice as if she knew it was going to happen. "Yeah. Do you know you he is?" trying to keep your posture, you asked. "No, but I have seen him." she replied. "Black eyes which weren't even his. Long hair which covered his face and the cuts." "Everyone thought, something was wrong in his head. They tried all kinds of medicines but none of them worked. He kept screaming and yelling every day. It would echo you know. The screams. Other patients could feel it too. But the doctors didn't know something." she explained but suddenly trailed off.

"He was possessed" she declared.

"How did he get out. I mean the patient like--" "Demon" she corrected. "We saw a body lying in his room. We thought its him. He had cuts all over his face so it was recognizable. The post mortem reports found out it was one of our doctors. He escaped as his disguise." explained Ms. Dean.

You couldn't get the fact out of your head as you stepped outside the hospital. With quivering hands, you opened the taxi's door. Looking at your condition, the driver ran to the opposite side of the street and bought you a water bottle. "You should go home miss." the driver suggested. "Beverly Hills Apartments please". The driver nodded and drove you home.

Maybe you should tell the police. It was not your job to go after the killer. Of course it would be one of the biggest news article for your company but this, its not worth it. Just then your phone rang. All of that tension and weird feeling in your chest was replaced by a sense of comfort. It was Tom.

"Hey babe! dinner's ready, when are you coming home?" he asked in his cheerful voice. You chuckled and said, "I started right now. Is my kitchen all right?" you mocked. "Uh..sort of. I'll help you clean though" he replied like a child caught doing something wrong. It was comforting to have him in your life. Amidst all of this, he was the exact person you needed. "Love you honey" you said unexpectedly. He could sense your uneasiness and knew your line of work. It can be terrifying sometimes. "Love you too..Hey, I am right here." he said immediately putting a smile on your face.

You met him three years ago. How boring can news conferences be? it was something you knew very well. But it was a little bit tolerable when a hot shot investigating officer suddenly made his way to you. Tom and you immediately clicked. As if you were meant to be. One date led to another and suddenly he started picking you up from your work almost every single day. You remembered he had proposed on your cruise date which had you in complete awe. How could you say no to such a perfect man. His beautiful eyes which were a perfect peek to your universe, his warm embrace and how he fit in your life perfectly made it so much easier. He made it easier.

The sudden nostalgia calmed your nerves and you took a deep breath in. Within no time you were home. You leaped out of the taxi, paid the man and ran to your apartment. As you were going to ring the bell, Tom opened the door and picked you up in his arms. Both of you giggled as he kissed you passionately. With your fingers curling in his long wet hair and his arms coiling your waist, you could melt under his effect and you did.

"Tada!! Fish N chips" Tom declared in his voice that he called his disney voice. You chuckled at his endearing self. Both of you couldn't spend enough time with each other with all these murders. He too was tensed but never showed it in front of you. The least you could do was to help him out. You watched your favorite drama as the both of you ate your dinner.

After the chocolate ice-cream, he got up to get the wet wipe to wipe your face which was covered in chocolate. You were gone out cold because of the tiring day. He picked up the plates and noticed you had run out of kitchen soap. "Back in a few" he wrote on a post it and pasted it on the fridge. He wore his black overcoat and decided to forego his phone and left.

"Tom? babe?" you woke up around five minutes and searched the house. Suddenly the post it note grabbed your attention. You chuckled when you saw it and you knew a lot of unwanted things were gonna be purchased. Who could help it, its Walmart after all.

You saw his phone and found his headphones on the table. He would sit on his chair for hours and listen to his music but he never shared them with you. So you grabbed the opportunity and plugged in his headphones.

"19-21-19-1-14 8-9-12-12" the first song read. Then you realized it was a recording. "Mr Hiddleston sings?" you scoffed as you pressed the play button.

"Ahhh" a woman screamed and with that you immediately grabbed the headphones and threw them. "Oh God" you whined as you rubbed your ears. You played all the five recordings and all of them were similar. Screams. Then it hit you. The numbers were different and were too wrong to be dates. WHAT IF?

"19,S,21,U,19,S,1,A,14,N 8,H,9,I,12,L,12,L" you wrote on a piece of paper. "Susan hill?" you gasped. All the other four recordings added up to the all the other four victims. You sat there staring at the paper.

"It took you long enough" Tom spoke from behind you. You flinched as walked away from him. "Did you?" you asked. "The screams, oh my soul was cleansed" he said as he put his hand on his chest. Tears were rolling down your cheeks as you looked at his face. He was in content, in peace. "Why did you kill them? What had they done to you?" you enquired.

"THEY LAUGHED!!" he yelled. Your eyes widened as you looked at him. It wasn't your Tom, it was someone else.

He was possessed.

"They fucking laughed when I was being experimented on. I cried for help but they were too busy laughing. Fucking bitches" he scoffed. "You know when I made cuts on their skin how peaceful it felt. Slowly, deeply I dragged my knives on their skins and watching them slowly dying because of the pain. So good. They were the ones who cried and screamed and I was the one who laughed." He was a maniac explaining his masterplan. Little did he know everything he said, you were recording it all.

"You think you can run away with it?" you mocked trying to make him spill out. "How will they know Y/N? I am the chief investigating officer." he ran the tip of his fingers on your cheeks. But you didn't waver, he was a demon. "All this time I have been trying to erase all the evidence" he spoke as he turned his back on you.

"But you?" he turned and walked towards you. He bought his face closer to your neck and kissed your neck. If it were any other day, your eyes would slowly close themselves as he would press you against the surface. But today there was nothing but tears. "You are my favorite. I can't leave any witnesses. But don't worry, your screams will live in my recordings. You know how much I love making you scream now don't you my love?" He laughed sheepishly.

THUD THUD. The bang on the door grabbed his attention. He looked at you made a sign with a finger in his lips. Was this the man you loved? Who was he? You thought as you looked at him slowly unlocking the door.

"Ahh LEAVE ME GET OFF" he yelled in surprised as the police officers pinned him on the floor. Slowly you got your phone in front of him which you were hiding behind you and showed him the 911 number. The officers dragged him away but his hooded eyes would not leave your soul.

Two days later, while clearing his room. You found a notebook with all the five victim's name on it which was struck of with a red marker and also five knives covered in dried blood. "Why?" you whimpered as tears made their way down your cheeks. Your company had printed one of the biggest hit ever and were at the top. You were promoted and were appreciated by everyone but at what cost? You were scarred for life.

Back in the North House, Mrs Hill was sitting on her chair as the receptionist were cleaning her room. "Oh no" Mrs Hill exclaimed. "What is it Nana?" enquired Ms. Dean. "Y/N call her!! NOW"

Something was going to happen.

At the prison cell, all the officers were in havoc as one of the security guard was found dead in Tom's prison cell. Hysterical laughs and water droplets echoed through the hallway as Y/N was written on the wall and was struck of by the dead security guards' blood.

You were sleeping when Ms. Dean called you. "Hello" you spoke in your grumpy voice, the sleeping pills were slowly kicking in. "T-TOM!" her line was cut because of the heavy rain. Just then you got a message that Tom had escaped.

"What? where did he go?" you murmured to yourself and then you heard it. The hysterical laughter and the sound of the recording button being pushed.

"I am right here my love" he said.

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A/N: Hey guys, here is my first Tom Hiddleston fic. For the those of you who don't know me personally I am a contemporary dancer and this fiction I had seen being performed on the stage. I loved the suspense and I loved writing it even more. Writing this was a challenge and it was a wonderful experience and I hope you all like this as well.😘

Tom Hiddleston is such a versatile actor and just fits in any character which is the main reason why I love him so much. It was very easy for me to visualize his demeanor in this character and I tried my level best converting it into words. Let me know what you think about this fic.😃

REQUESTS OPEN | MASTERLIST

My requests are open. So ahead and check my masterlist and send me your plots.

Love yourself...you are worth it❣❣

[sif-the-tsunami]

When I Was His Wife

“Well I was looking forward to/ staying here forever/ ‘cause you asked me to/ Didn’t think I could do better/ So I settled down/ in this ten cent town/ it’s about to break me.” These are the Best Years of my Life- Pistol Annies

This is the follow up to “When You Fall Apart” Which is one of my favorites that I’ve written.

(there is Sy just carrying the weight of all of my own internal chaos)

A/N thank you for everyone who encouraged me to write this, I adore Sy as a character. He seemed like someone who could pull off the impossible. I made some choices in here that not everyone will agree with. Tell me I’m wrong in the comments an we can discuss it there.

Pairing: Sy and Josephine

Warnings: again all of them. discussion of infidelity, Discussion of child loss, discussion of unprotected sexual intercourse, headbutting, day drinking, self medicating, therapy, swearing fealty on ones hunting knife, discussion of knife play, I’m probably missing something

 Everything is going below the cut this time to save anyone who doesn’t like this kind of stuff from unpleasantness.

word count just shy of 7.5K

Thank you to @inlovewithhisblueeyes for letting me bounce ideas off of you, love you sweet girl

tagging: @oddsnendsfanfics @willkatfanfromasia @rocket44 @feralrunaway @littlewrenofrivia​  @summersong69​  @coffeebooksandfandom​ @klaine-92​ @nothingright​ @cavillsim​ @watery-lane​ @above-average-ass-bitch 

unbeta’d

I slept for the next two days, Mama only woke me up long enough to drink some water once she started worrying about me. She managed to wrangle my out of my clothes and into one of Daddy’s shirts we got him that she left in the drawer. My phone was dead, but thankfully Mama and I had the same kind so I could charge it today. What fresh hell was going to be waiting for me on my digital leash? I lay there for a while, the murmur of conversation in the other room was comforting. Mama left a fresh glass of water some time recently, it was still chilly with only a little condensation forming around the sides. The ache in my chest was almost unbearable. The hole in my heart was Syverson sized, being sober made the edges of that abyss feel even more raw and pronounced. I don’t know if my liver could handle me drowning my sorrow much more, but I would give anything to not feel it. I need to make this feeling of worthlessness go away.

When I finally decided to rejoin the land of the living, Mama and my brother Teddy were talking at the kitchen table, discussing about if they should come with me to go get my things or if I should call the sheriff’s office to be monitored. I stayed behind the corner long enough to let them finish what they were going on about.

“If I know Jo well enough, she’s going to need someone to keep her from burning the whole house down with him in it tied to a chair,” my brother chuckled. “She’s been taking care of herself for years. You should have seen how she handled one of these girls who came up to us once on Post.

“Jo was loading up the car when this prissy little thing came walking up, she must have thought she was some kind of hot shit. You would have been so proud of her Mama, the girl said to her that she had been sleeping with James during their deployment. All Jo said back to her was ‘You’ve both been back for something like three months, right, have you seen him since?’ Little Miss Hot Shit stuttered and said ‘Well not yet,’ like she had been really holding out that he was going to. ‘He doesn’t have my new phone number.’ Jo just tiled her head to the side. Smiled at her real sweetly and told her, ‘Baby girl, he’s not going to. He knows how to find you. You were just a rental car to him, sweetie bell. Ford Fiestas are fun as hell to ride but let’s be honest, you aren’t going to pick a Fiesta over the Mercedes Benz you have at home. You aren’t the first and you sure as hell won’t be the last, now go on and get out of here before I ruin the rest of your day like you tried to ruin mine.’ One of the other officer’s wives came up to her and said she was amazed that she handled her so well without breaking Miss Prissy Pant’s face. She just said ‘I’m too pretty to go to prison, Kathy.’ And we hoped in the car. You raised one tough lady, Mama.”

“How many times has that happened, Theodore, I need to know.”

“She has only told me about four women meeting her face to face. The two pregnant girls who got knocked up to get out of their deployments, Prissy Pants, and one who thought that James was in love with her. She evidently broke down in tears on the tarmac when Josie jumped into his arms and he swung her around. But she would get letters tucked into the windshield of her car for months whenever he returned from deployment.”

“You two kept this from me for years, why?”

“Jo said that this was her problem, don’t you remember how you handled it when her first boyfriend ran out on her on prom night? She cried to you and Dad, and you just told her that no one is worth weeping over. She’s just been trying to make you proud, Mama. Daddy might have known because I know they had a really nasty fight about a month before he died.”

I walked out after that. Mama’s eyes were red, “Good morning, baby, do you want pancakes? Bacon and eggs? What do you want, Darlin’?”

“Coffee would be a good start.” I rasped. “Can I use your charger?”

“It’s right here. Cream and sugar?”

“Black as my sense of humor, please Mama.” I said, Teddy chuckled again. I reached over and squeezed my brother’s shoulder. “Hey, I’m glad you’re here.”

“I got to look after my little sissy.” He replied using what he called me growing up. “So what are we doing to get over Jimmy?”

“I was thinking tattoos and day drinking?”

“Atta’ girl, Josie. Fuck that douche canoe.”

As soon as my phone was able to turn on, it sat on the counter vibrating for the next five minutes.  Six missed calls from James. And seventy text messages. A few from stores I shop at, but the majority were from my husband.

“Ugh, I just don’t feel like dealing with this right now.” I said as my mom put my coffee in front of me.

“Just leave him on read. I doubt he’s hurting for company.”  Mama said, in almost a snarl. I looked through a few messages. The last one was from this morning. Sweetheart, I’m worried sick about you, I miss you. Please talk to me?

“Ted, do you want to go with me to Walmart so I can get a couple day’s worth of clothes, I am just not ready to go back and I can’t live in Daddy’s old shirts.”

“Of course, we can get some booze while we are there.”

“Get yourself a bathing suit while you are there, honey, its going to be beautiful today and you can go for a swim.” Mama added.

I texted James back finally as I finished my coffee. I’m sorry I worried you, Sy, I have literally been asleep since I got here. I’m not ready.

I understand. I’m sorry, I should have seen how much I’ve been hurting you. I swear to God, I really do love you. Please, let me know what I can do for you.

Yeah, you should have, James. You should have seen how bad you’ve been treating me. You can drop off the face of the earth, that’s what you can do for me, I think spitefully. Thankfully, Mama washed my yoga pants and tank top. It would have to be alright for now. My brother let me wear one of his extra flannel shirts he kept in the back of his car. An hour later, Ted and I were at the store, picking up chips, dip, and cheap champagne. Mama loved mimosas, so I thought it was the least I could do. I grabbed a couple of sun dresses and a bikini, if I was going to be gone for a few days, I was going to come back home looking refreshed, radiant even, and not like the hot pile of garbage I was feeling like. I made a small detour to the cosmetics department, got myself a couple of face masks, hair dye, and sun screen.

“Really? Dark brown, Josie?”

“That’s as close to my natural color as I can, I’m tired of the blonde highlights. I think after this I might just let it come in. Grays and all. Who ever loves me next is going to have to just deal with me as nature intended.”

“I’m proud of you. Do you think you will leave him for good?” He said, Ted has always been very protective of me.

“Well, I certainly can’t leave him for evil, can I?” Making him laugh. One the way outside there was a truck near the front of the store with a sign that read “Puppies for sale.”

“Teddy, we need to see these puppies.” I gasped. Walking up to the truck bed I saw the sweetest little German Shepard puppies. I reached in and they all started flopping all over the place trying to get pets and love. Maybe a puppy was exactly what my hurting heart needed. We haven’t had a dog since Aika passed away. It was looking like I would never have a baby but maybe this was the kind I needed. Puppy snuggles would definitely make that Syverson shaped hole less painful.

“I’ll buy you a puppy if you divorce James.” Ted said to me, half joking.

“Shit, I can afford the puppy, pay for the divorce.” I jest back. “How much for one of the precious babies?”

“$500 a pup, mom has a pedigree, but daddy was the neighbor’s sneaky bastard.” The woman also petting the puppies said. “Mama is in the front if you want to meet her, daddy is very friendly as well.”

I start laughing uncontrollably. With tears in my eyes, I ask if any of the puppies are girls, and she pulls   out a beautiful little one with floppy ears and the biggest smile I had ever seen on a dog. Oh yeah, she was meant for me.

“I’ll take her, do you take checks?” I think I’m ready to start healing.

*****

“Josephine, that son of a bitch you call your husband is here to see you.” Mama shouts from the house. It’s Sunday afternoon now, Teddy and I have exhausted all the snacks and mimosas hours ago and now we were sobering up by the pool. My new baby girl is laying next to my sun chair, chewing on her bone, wearing a pretty pink collar.

“Well, might as well let him out here.” I shout back.

“Are you sure, I can kick his ass to the curb if you want me to, baby.”

“Its okay Mama, I can handle him myself.” Sy walks out in the back yard a couple minutes later. I’m guessing Mama threatened to stick him in a meat grinder.

“I deserved that.” He said, looking thoroughly admonished. “You changed your hair, it looks really good...

“Oh bless your heart, James. That’s not even half of what you deserve.” Ted spoke up before he could finish, not moving his face towards him. He lay there in his swim trunks and dark sunglasses.

“Oh great, all three of you have been drinking. I can tell this is going to go well...” James sighed. “Who is this cutie pie, did your Ma get a new dog?”

“She’s my dog, her name is Stella Rosa.”

“I don’t think anyone asked you to come, Colonel Sanders, what are you doing here?” Ted snapped.

“Hey, I got this, okay? I’m a big girl, please, go in the house. The fuck are you doing here James?” I lift my sun glasses up.

“She’s a very sweet pup. Yeah, you are a good girl for your mama, aren’t you? I came to see you. I want to bring you home, baby, I miss you.” He’s checking out my fresh tan in my new bikini. Subtly, but he does it.

“I’m not ready. I’m not even ready to talk to you. Why would you think that I even want to come home?”

“I don’t know, I asked myself that the entire drive here. I don’t know what I’m even going to do with myself when I go home alone. Pussycat, I can’t begin to think of life without you. I know I fucked up. And I know I can’t take that back. You asked me the other day what I kept that was special just between us. I should have answered you then. All those nights where you fell asleep with your head on my chest, the evenings laying in the back of the truck looking at the stars after driving around trying to find the best nachos in town. And, baby, no matter where we go, yours are always the best. No one else ever got moments like that. You are the only woman I want to slow dance with in the middle of the night.

“You are the only person in the world that I would wait four hours in the freezing cold to get the best brisket in Austin for because you were craving bbq when we were still, you know...” He paused. I don’t think he ever stopped blaming himself for what happened. His knees were never the same after that accident, and usually whenever he stood up from kneeling, they clicked and popped painfully. He leaned a little closer spreading his legs and reached down to pet Stella. She seemed a little leery of him. It is easy to be cynical given the circumstances, but there is something about the way he is talking to me, I haven’t heard him be this earnest in years.

“When was the last time you were with someone other than me?” I can’t bring myself to look at him. I keep my eyes anywhere but on him. My body aches so badly for him to just wrap his arms around me. I miss him.

“When I got held up in Kuwait for two weeks in December...”

“December? You mean when you missed my fucking birthday. Goddammit James...” And the ache is gone. My heart shattered again. He’s going to make me cry again.

“Hey, it was after your birthday, and it was a hate fuck because I was mad that I broke yet another promise to you.”

“That doesn’t make it better.” I snap. “How many that deployment?”

“Just the one. And she’s someone who I knew was more discreet because we had that arrangement before.”

“I swear on my Daddy’s grave that if you are lying to me right now, I will end you Syverson. You couldn’t have waited a few more days?”

“I had no idea when I was going home. We boarded that fucking plane three times and had to turn back because there was a problem with it. I was two seconds away from tearing apart the first Private that so much as looked at me sideways. It felt like, at the time, the less terrible choice.”

“They sound both pretty shitty to me. You are a fucking adult James, you have to be able to control yourself or at least be responsible for your actions. If this is what you think love is, I would rather you hate me.” I stand up. Stella wags her tail excited to get away.

“Josephine, please...” He grasps my wrist, not hard, but there wasn’t anyway I was going to be able to get out of his big hand.

“Please what? Please stay so you can keep treating me like this. There are some people in this world who have no problem playing second or third fiddle, they are just thankful they are in the band. But I deserve to be your first chair, or I don’t want to play at all.”

“Mama wants to know if the jackass is staying for dinner.” Ted shouts at us.

“He going!” “I’m staying!” we yell over each other. He’s not looking at me, he’s not even looking at the pup. His eyes are somewhere else, mentally for a second he is somewhere else also.

“Baby…  I… You have always been my first chair. There is no one else on earth like you. I have never done anything with these women as an act of love. It was always been, and I mean always, just a way to scratch an itch. Every time I was gone, every time things got bad, getting to come home to you was the thing that keep me going, Jo. You have been my safe harbor for the worst parts of my life.”

“James… That doesn’t excuse what you’ve done. You aren’t the man I fell for anymore. This isn’t healthy.” He let go of my wrist, and rubs his face. Those beautiful eyes of his have seen so much. For the first time I think he actually looks… broken. Is this the remorse I have been wanting to see? I try not to keep scores, especially when it comes to my loved ones. But for the first time since things went sour, he looks like I hurt him as much as he has hurt me.

Maybe there was love between us once. However there are just two broken hearts for now.

“Come on in the house, I can at least feed you before I send you back.”

“I think I will just go,” he says it quietly. “I don’t want to be a burden on you.”

“Don’t be like that, I am still cooking like I’m making dinner for you, so its way too much for the three of us. Come on in, I made carnitas.”

“I’ll be in, I just need a minute.” He refuses to let me see him cry if he’s not waking up screaming, even after all this time. Whenever we could have a healing moment, he pushes me out. I went inside, and started setting the table.

“Are we poisoning his tacos?” Teddy asked me.

“That’s not the worst idea I’ve heard today.” Mama interjected.

“No, and don’t start anything. He’s eating dinner with us, don’t either of you make him feel bad. I already did that.” Sy walked in at that moment, those blue eyes of his rimmed with red. He looked defeated. The four of us ate our dinner in silence. There was a time where he would have made some kind of comment about eating me out when we had tacos. He looked at me once during the meal, I think he remembered it too. He offered to clear the plates when were all done and sat in uncomfortable silence. The cockiness I had grown accustomed to over the years was gone.

He carried himself like this when we lost our baby, he can’t take that kind of humility. At least not with me.

“Sy...” I waited until the others were out of the room. “Do you still want me to come home with you?”

“Not if it means all we are going to do is get a divorce. I can’t see you every day knowing that I will never get to be yours again. I let them do a lot of terrible things to me over the years, but that… that I can’t handle.” His voice cracked. “If you want out, I will give you everything you ask for. I won’t fight you. But please, give me a chance to fight for you.”

“I don’t think you are exactly in a position to make that that request.” I lean against the counter across the room from him.

“No, I’m not.” he half smirked, “I don’t deserve you.”

“Look, I’m not saying that this can’t still all explode in our faces. But I miss my best friend and that has always been the best part of us. It will never be the same as it was before, it can’t be. However, if you are willing to work with me, I am willing to see if we there is any salvageable. If nothing else, we both need therapy very badly. We can’t just shrug this off. The second that it goes back to where we were, I’m gone.”

“Okay. I’ll do it.” He sniffs hard, and his breath is broken up, tucking his arms against himself. Usually its in authority, this time hes just trying to hug himself. I gesture him to come over and I hug him. He wraps his arms around then envelopes me. Leaning his head on mine, he whispers “I’ll do whatever you want, my darlin.”

I told my mom that I would be going home, she sighed at me. “Do you think this is the best idea?”

“I don’t know, Mama. I think I just want some closure. I told him if he so much as sneezes out of line that I’m gone. Forever. There will be no more chances.”

“Well, baby, I trust you. You are always welcome back here if you need to get away.”

While I’m packing my stuff into the shopping bags I had, I hear a sudden crack and Sy groans then swears. “yeah, I deserved that too.”

“What the fuck did you just do, Theodore?” I yell coming out. Ted was still holding my husband’s hand, and Sy was holding his face. “Did you… just headbutt him?”

“Yes, I did. My sister my might be willing to move past your mistakes, but I’m not. However, I’ve always been the petty one in the family. Hurt her again, they will have to dig your nuts out of your chest cavity, do we understand each other?”

“Yep, perfectly.” Sy grimaced. There were very few men that he would not retaliate against. Teddy, at 6’5, and years of horse wrangling, was one of them. Sy was build like a brick shit house, but so was my big brother. I thought we were old enough to not resort to violence, I have been wrong before.

My probably, potentially, soon to be ex-husband put mine and Stella’s things in the back bench of his truck. I held her in the crook of my arm as I climbed up in the cab. He gently shut the door for me, I noticed his shiner was going to be pretty gnarly in the morning.

He climbed into the other side as I set little Stella down on the floor. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it was a cheap shot, I’ll be fine. At this point, I don’t want to rock the boat with your brother and Ma. She tore me a new asshole before I got outside today.”

“I’m surprised you haven’t changed your mind, say to hell with me and that I’m not worth the hassle.”

“Josephine, I might not have made the appropriate effort to show you how much you mean to me, but you are worth it.” The Syverson shaped hole in my heart roared. Why couldn’t he have been this way all along?

We talked about the girl at the movies, and how she was one of his new officers. She might have come on to him, but he never engaged with her outside of work related things. He told her several times that he wasn’t interested but she was persistent. I halfway apologized for trying to decapitate him with a tequila bottle. He acknowledged that this was a long time coming.  This was the most we had talked about anything deep for months. I don’t know if it was too little and too late though.

The rest of the drive home we made a plan of action. He would move into the office and would stay in there until I invited him back into my bed. We would start couple’s therapy as soon as we could. He would also start seeing a therapist individually. Before we got into town I also told him my final request for our reconciliation. I wanted to see other people. I had been with him since I was nineteen, I have never faltered in my devotion to him. I wanted to see if he was really the one for me.

When I got home, I poured out the rest of my alcohol, save for a bottle of champagne I was saving for our anniversary. He took Stella outside to go potty and came back singing her name “Stella bella, who is a good girl? Your Mama picks good puppies, yes she does. Good girl, Stella bella.”

Stella came prancing back to me with her tail wagging happily. He walked up behind me, and grazes the backs of my arms gently with his knuckles, leaning down to kiss my neck. “Not yet, Sy. I don’t want us to complicate things more than they already are.”

“Josie, what do you mean?”

“I don’t want to have sex with you until we start therapy.”

“So you want us to stop having sex, sleep in separate rooms and at some point you want to start seeing other men.” He starts nodding. He lets out a deep sigh and closes his eyes. “Okay, it that’s what you want to do. I was thinking about getting my stuff out of the bedroom so I can try to get some sleep. I love you, Pussycat. I’ll see you in the morning.” And with that, James went to bed. He was snoring on the couch in the office by the time I went to go lay down.      

****

It took us three weeks to get into see a couples therapist. It felt a little validating about my decision that we shouldn’t sleep together until we have really decided to try or not. She had me stay behind and talk with her for another half an hour the first time we met.  She asked me why I wanted to save my marriage with Sy if he’s hurt me for years.

“I don’t rightly know,” I told her. “Maybe its because when we are good we are so damn good. Before we were married, I was warned, I knew that things happened overseas and I shouldn’t take it personally, he’s just a man and not a saint. I never have had a doubt in my mind about if he’s been faithful when he’s been here until recently when a woman he knows started acting weird around me. The love we had was so passionate, like sometimes he thought that if he couldn’t put his hands on me I would disappear. I don’t think I will ever find someone who can love me like that again.”

The therapist suggested that he starts getting treated for PTSD and anger management while we all were working together. I would also have my own separate sessions to work on my own issues. It took a few months but I started seeing small differences in how he was handling things at work that pissed him off. He was able to defuse himself more easily. He became more open with his feelings. I think it helped that we both stopped drinking. We could be a little volatile when we had a pitcher (or three) of margaritas.

There were days with our sessions where we leave emotionally exhausted and not speak to each other the rest of the day, some of them ended in peals of laughter, others where I would cry for most of it. We discussed the infidelity at great lengths. I don’t want to rehash the details but it was definitely one of the bad days. But it seems that the root cause was him using the only the other women for comfort after fairly traumatic events. It’s why it only happened on deployments. He needed to feel something other than pain.

The lack sexual intimacy between the two of us made James start to get creative to initiate closeness between the two of us. He started helping me make dinner on the weekends, or he would bring me my coffee in the morning the way I like it. Mama and Teddy started coming over occasionally for suppers. It was nice to have the house filled with laughter. We started talking again like when we first started dating. He would take the time to go with me grocery shopping.

He started asking me out on dates again. Myself, him and Stella would drive out to the country, with a picnic basket that he would even prepare himself and we would go star gazing like we used to. I loved seeing the effort, but that hole still ached in my chest the whole time. The pieces should have all fit together, but here I was still not sure I could commit to him for the rest of my life.

On one of these dates, he asked me what I thought about him retiring. He had been in for almost nineteen years at this point and had far exceeded is expectations for being in the Army as an officer.

“I kind of just want to sell off all our extra shit and buy a really nice Air-stream. We can pull it with my truck. Just travel up and down the continent, I know you always have wanted to see the Northern Lights, we can just go anywhere. Me, you and Stella would visit where ever we could find a parking spot.”

“That sounds nice, Sy.” It came out a little half hearted.

“You don’t sound convinced, sweetheart.” He said, started sounding concerned.

“Hun, I don’t want to have a fight right now, so please just let me get this off my chest.” I sigh. And then I told him about the pain in my chest that I’ve had since my night in jail. That sometimes, like tonight, it was only a dull ache. That other times the edges are still so sharp that it feels like the pain was going to swallow me whole. He sits up, jaw dropped.

“Why haven’t you told me this before? I… Jo… son of a bitch.” He groans. He lays back down, the same defeated tone came back that I hadn’t heard since Mama’s house. “I’m trying my best, Josephine, but I feel like I have one hand tied behind my back… you will never love me again, will you?  I can grovel, and beg. I don’t know what else I need to do. I know what I want to do, but it will just hurt you more.”

“What do you want to do, Sy?”

“I want to kiss every part of your skin, remind your body that I worship it. I want to pin you to the wall of our hallway and make love to you. I want to go to sleep with my nose buried in in your hair, and wake up sliding inside of you. I have since you came home. Hell, I always want to do that with you. But that can’t be the only thing that keeps us together.” He looked over at Stella sprawl out.

“I didn’t say this to hurt you, hun. I just wanted to be honest with you.”

“I know, I… just don’t want to cause you more misery. I really thought we were, you know, heading back in the right direction.”

“We have been, and honestly, I think if we threw in the towel now, it would cause more harm than good.” I say as the tears well up in my eyes. For the first time since I was taken away, I straddle his hips. He sits up and I place my hands on either side of his face, then lean in to kiss him. He kisses me back with the same hunger. I missed him. The ache dulled a little until he pulled away.

“Let’s get going, Jo, I want you so fucking bad. I want to take you here and now, I want to make you scream my name and damn anyone who catches us. We need to stop this, the agreement was that we wouldn’t. Fuck I’ve missed how you taste.” He said before stealing one more kiss.

*****

The next week was awkward to say the least, the therapist was pleased about the kissing and that I opened up. She said that it was possible that the pain would go away, but that he and I needed to remember that it was like I was grieving. In the mean time, we should continue to take it slowly because we both needed to be sure. The following few days he was distant, and the ache returned in full force.

With his PTSD treatments, he was having less nightmares. It was the best thing I could ask for. There were still times where he would yell in his sleep but they had become farther and farther apart. It was a night after he had his individual treatment, he had come home talking about how he felt the night of my breakdown. He came home and told me a little bit, how he had never seen me so angry before, thrashing about like a caged animal. He hated himself for pushing me there. That night, in the darkness of the small hours, I woke up from being dead asleep hearing him say my name in a panic. He then repeated sounding more and more scared. “Josie, oh my god, Josie, no. I’m sorry Jo, I didn’t mean to. JoJo!”

I rushed into the office, he was jerking violently in his sleep about on the couch. I turned on the light near his head. When these dreams happen, his eyes were usually opened, it creeps my out every time. I start to gently wake him up, saying his name and touching him as gently as possible. It took a few moments but he came back to me.

“Jo, Jesus fuck, you’re alright?”

“Of course I am, sweetheart, what happened? I’m right here, I’m okay, you are okay, everything is okay.”

“I dreamed we were back in the kitchen, you were under me. Screaming and whipping about. I had to restrain you more then I accidentally broke your neck and you died in my arms. It felt real, baby, I was holding your body and then the sheriff came and that’s when you woke me up. Oh my god. I fucking can’t. I can’t anymore. I need you, Josie. If something happens to you, oh fuck.” I have never seen James sob like this. He pawed at me until I was wrapped in his arms. I slipped my arms around his neck and held his head to mine. His sobs were hard. We sat there until he let it all out.

“Come on, big man, let’s get you into bed. Come with me. I’ll stay with you all night.” He nodded at me and followed me to the bed we used to share. I wrapped him up in our fluffy blankets. He snuggled into me and was asleep in moments. I stayed there in his arms until he woke up. The Syverson shaped hole hurt less that night.

When he woke up he started crying again. He held me and started kissing my face. “Thank god. I thought you coming to me last night was another dream.”

“No baby, I’m here.” He sniffed hard and squeezed me closer to him. We went back to sleep for a few more hours and when we got up for the day he moved his things back into our bedroom. We might not have started other marital acts but we both started sleeping better having the other person in bed. It had been almost six months we started trying to reconcile.

*****

It had been an interesting couple of months while we started the transition for him to retire. Soon it was only a matter of days. The dates had continued, the kissing had continued, but something was keeping me back from being able to say that the next step was what I wanted. Therapy continued, and we would be seeing her for the next few months. Before I left my private session she asked me if I had given myself a deadline. She was concerned that I might keep dragging it out and that would just make both of us miserable. I told her I had an idea and that I planned on pulling the trigger soon.

Sy’s superiors were setting up a retirement ceremony for him, followed by a dinner with the upper chain of command. He wasn’t looking forward to it, Sy just wanted to be out and done. He came home one day while I was watching a show based on a book series I had read when we first were married. The redheaded Scot swore fealty to his wife, offering to pierce his own heart with a dagger if he should ever rebel against her again.  

“What’s this you’re watching?” He asked.

“Outlander, it just picked back up again from a season break. It’s pretty damn close to the book.”

“So is this what the ladies like these days, men in kilts offering to off themselves if they fuck up?”

“Women have liked men in kilts since I can remember. Why do you think we go to the Renn Faire every year.” I wink at him. “But yeah, I’m sure that does it for some people.”

“Well shit, Pussycat, it’s the only thing I haven’t done.” Sy walked out of the room and came back with his favorite hunting knife. It had been his dad’s once upon a time. The handle was made out of buck horn. In his warn and dusty uniform, he knelt in front of me on the living room floor. His beautiful blue eyes looking into mine, “Well, this isn’t iron, and it definitely isn’t holy. However, I will swear on it either way. Josephine, you are the only woman I have ever loved, you are my best friend, and I adore you. I will never do anything to make you doubt that love or loyalty again. If I ever do anything that makes you feel like you are less than the beautiful, smart, incredible, sexy creature that you are, you can sink this right in my heart. I will even hold it there for you so all you have to do is press it right in.” He finishes with a tongue click as an exclamation.      

“James, you didn’t need to do this. You know I am weird about grand gestures.”

“No, I think I do. I said my vows to you on our wedding rings and I wasn’t able to keep it. But, I will never break this one. If I can earn your love back, I will never do anything to make you regret giving me this chance to be your man.” He still held the knife against his chest with one hand, and placed my hand over his with the other. “So what do you think, baby girl? We still have a long way to go, but I can’t think of anyone else I would rather struggle with.”

“I think you just put yourself in a position that I could just end you now if I wanted to.” I say with my usual sass.

“Yes, you could. I don’t think you will though.” He said smiling, his voice was husky and deep as usual. I love that easy smile of his.

“Is it wrong that I want to get on your lap and make out with you while I hold this against you.” His eyebrow raised. “Maybe more than just make out with you.”

“Oh, don’t you tease me now, sweet thing. I don’t want to start anything you won’t finish.”

“Who said I won’t finish it, Colonel Syverson?” His eyes grew as big as dinner plates.  

“Wait, do you mean it?” He choked.

“Yeah, I do mean it.” I laughed. Before I could get up, he had hiked the skirt of the dress I was wearing up to my hips, pulling me to the edge of the sofa, revealing that I had skipped a certain garment that day. “I had an idea for after supper, but if you want we can do this now…. Oh fuck I’ve missed this.”

Before I can even finish my sentence, he was going to town with his tongue on his favorite part of my body. He remembered everything that made me squeal in delight. From the lack of sex on both of our ends, he was able to get me off easily. My body was desperate for his touch. He stopped once my body was trembling, kissing one of my thighs from my apex to my knee. He suddenly grunted and bit down on a tender part. He started panting and kissed the spot he bit.

“I’m sorry, sugar, I didn’t want to only last for two or three thrusts. Fuck, I have missed this pretty pussy. You taste so good.” He had a handful of his own cum and looked around for a tissue. Without a word, I grabbed his hand and licked it clean, keeping eye contact with him the entire time. He moaned out and then stood up. He took his shirt off, and lifted me up off the couch. I knew this hurt his back and knees but I wasn’t about to chastise him for wanting to be romantic. He carried me like we were on our honeymoon back to the bedroom. He lay me down as gently as possible then finished stripping himself. I took my dress off leaving myself exposed to him in a way that I haven’t in almost a year. Sy joined me on the bed, open and vulnerable to me. I loved those thick thighs and torso of his, he always eclipsed me.

“Hello ladies, nice to finally see you again.” He purred as he licked and sucked on my nipples. He leaned to one side and massaged my breasts with one of his hands. “Glad to see you that you missed me too.”

Before long, I could feel his erection pressing against my thigh. He spread my legs and rubbed himself against my opening. He leaned down and kissed my neck before sliding himself inside of me. I moan his name as he gently started making love to me. Bearing his weight on his elbows, he kissed and nipped at my neck.

Breathlessly, he told me how much he missed my body, how much he loved me, how lucky he was to have me. As his tempo increased, he started to whisper in me ear.

“Josephine, tell me what you are.” I looked at him confused. “You are my wife, I want you to tell me that you are my wife.”

“I’m your wife, James.” I tell him as lovingly as possible.

“Louder, baby.”

“I’m your wife.” I said loud and clearly. The Syverson shaped hole in my chest is gone, finally. Replaced with the warmth of knowing we were going to be able to survive this.

“Even louder, Jo.” I yell it out and he thrusts harder and deeper. “Keep going, beautiful, I want the whole neighborhood to know.”

I screamed it as he started pounding me harder, building his orgasm. As my own starts its crescendo, I screamed his name and arched my back as he pulls my hips down on himself and spilled into me. He lay down beside me, twitching and jerking a little. He kisses all the parts of my skin that is available to his reach.

“I think we should order a pizza for dinner tonight,” He says after a few minutes of catching his breath. “So we can stay in bed and make love again.”

“Or, and hear me out. I put my dress back on, you get dressed and we go out for sushi with your cum dripping down my thighs. What do you think about that?”

“Shit, I missed you being a damn freak like that. Do I we get to have more fun tonight if I say yes?” He chuckles, then kisses my hand, “I still want you to ride me with my knife pointed at me some time tonight.”  

“Aren’t you scared I’m going to cut off a nipple or something.”

“You, with a knife? To be honest, cutting off my nipple is the least of my concerns. How do I know if this just isn’t a whole plan to lure me into complacency with sex and sushi, then you just murder me in my sleep.” He rolled onto his back and whined for a second, but got up. He put on a pair of khaki shorts and a black Metallica t-shirt as I got into my dress again.

“God damn woman, you are so fucking sexy.” He tells me as he opens the door on my side of the truck and leans down to kiss me again. As I climb up he give my butt a little tap just like he used to and closes the door for me. The ache I’ve been feeling these long months has subsided. Sitting across the cab from me, holding my hand, he asks if we want to go look at travel trailers this weekend. For the first time in a while, I feel like everything is going to be alright.

[denkamis]

hq characters as cheesy valentine’s day tropes.

masterlist. | valentine’s day event masterlist.

warnings: none! aside from some swearing, it’s just some fluffy valentine’s day scenarios for you. reader is gn.

characters: keiji akaashi, kenma kozume, yuu nishinoya, koushi sugawara.

notes: dedicated to @koushisun,, for being an exceptionally kind individual and having immaculate taste in 2d men. i hope we can get closer the more we talk, kris. thank you for being my first friend here on da tumbz. <33

keiji akaashi

confessions behind the school building

were you nervous about finally confessing your feelings to akaashi on valentine’s day of all days? absolutely

he was one of, if not the prettiest, impressively athletic, and overwhelmingly intelligent boys in your class

he probably got at least ten confessions on the daily

and valentine’s day simply doubled the number

and here you were, with your tiny valentine’s day card and box of chocolates in hand

you had heard from all the girls that he had been turning down confessions left and right, only adding onto your mountain of nerves

little did you know that he was waiting for you

cherry blossoms bloomed above your heads, falling gracefully like something right out of a shoujo anime. you tapped the tip of your shoe against the pavement, a nervous tick you had garnered that helped keep you grounded. this was it. this was the moment today was leading up to. you and akaashi were standing behind fukurodani, stealing away a bit of privacy. you didn’t need the prying eyes of the other girls watching as you confessed to your year long crush.

akaashi waited with a patient gaze, unmoving from his spot a few feet ahead of you. he gave you space, and didn’t force you to talk right away. it was as if he already knew the intricacies of your thoughts, the way your mind spiraled if you were suddenly put on the spot, especially when it was as intimate and open as confessing your feelings.

“i wanted to tell you, i mean- what i’ve been trying to tell you for years is that i, well,” your tongue felt like it was two sizes too big. your fingers fidgeted behind your back, holding onto the tiny note and chocolates you had made for him yourself. “i like you a lot more than i really let on. you’re always so thoughtful and considerate. you listen to me when i ramble, and you help me with homework or even small things i don’t completely understand. that’s um, that’s really nice of you. i know you’ve probably received a lot of gifts today, but if you could spare a bit of your backpack space to accept mine, it would mean the world to me.” you bowed towards him, eyes glued to the floor as you held out the small box of chocolates and the note you had written.

you didn’t catch the way a smile tugged at his usually stoic features, or the way he tilted his head in thought while wondering how much courage you mustered up to confess like this. still, you felt nimble fingers brushing against yours, the weight of your gift leaving your grip.

“thank you, y/n,” akaashi told you gratefully as you stood up to your full height, “i’m glad that you feel the same as i do.”

“... wait what.”

kenma kozume

heart shaped candies

kenma rarely has plans for valentine’s day tbh

he treats it like any other day because it’s just a day to play some animal crossing and farm more on stardew valley

however, when you waltz into his life, he panics a little bit as the date draws closer

he wants to make you feel special on valentine’s day

he settled for those tiny heart shaped candies, knowing that you had quite the sweet tooth

he wasn’t gonna leave you hanging on valentine’s day, sweetheart

kenma held your hand in his as the two of you walked home together. the day was rainy, small droplets of water pattering against the shared umbrella the two of you were situated beneath. you were talking about school, something or other about the clubs you were in and how passionate you were about starting your very own this year. kenma listened tentatively, an easy smile on his face as he watched your eyes light up and your free hand gesture and fly about as you spoke.

you were adorable.

the two of you soon arrived at your house, and you promised kenma that you would call him tonight so the two of you could play games or watch some netflix together over the internet. you two had been particularly invested in some k-drama that always left the two of you at the edge of your seats. you planted a gentle kiss to his cheek, his face erupting in crimson right to the tips of his ears. giggling quietly, you wished him goodbye, your hand beginning to slide from his as you went to leave. to your surprise, he held on tighter.

with his gaze cast down, you watched as he pulled out a tiny bag of heart shaped candies from his pocket. “i know it’s not much, but i saw everyone else getting their partners gifts and kuroo said that it would be good if i got you something too.”

you accepted his small token of affection with shaky hands and flushed cheeks. peering inside the clear bag, you saw a whole collection of multi-coloured candies reading cheesy phrases such as ‘b mine’, ‘true love’ or even a ‘cutiepie.’

“kenma, i love it. oh my.. haha! i thought you forgot since you didn’t mention anything about gifts for today.” kenma’s hand squeezed yours, his eyes lifting from the wet ground to meet your own with a small yet confident smile.

“i wouldn’t forget something as important as you.”

yuu nishinoya

big teddy bears

an absolutely chaotic mess on valentine’s day

he’s so excited that he finally has someone to spoil, so he wants to go all out

he figured that the best present to get you was the biggest teddy bear he could find

he went to 6 stores and dragged asahi and tanaka with him

he saw a teddy bear that was literally twice his size and went “I’LL TAKE IT”

mans has no chill, he spent literally his entire allowance on it

his grandpa didn’t even bat an eye PFFT

when nishinoya showed up at your doorstep with a chunky teddy bear in tow, you had no words. truly. it had been at the stroke of midnight when he texted you to come outside and see the valentine’s gift he had gotten you. you had said that this could wait until morning, but he insisted that this could not wait another moment. it was technically valentine’s day, after all! this resulted in you dragging yourself down the stairs of your home to greet him at the door. to your surprise, yet at the same time not surprising you in the slightest, was noya carrying the largest teddy bear you had ever laid your eyes on. not only that, but tanaka and what appeared to be a very exhausted asahi accompanied him.

“y/n-chan!” nishinoya shouted boldly and triumphantly, getting down on one knee which instantly made you panic. he wasn’t going to propose, was he? no he wouldn’t. would he? oh god. your words got caught in your throat, trying to formulate some kind of response to his sudden and incoming declaration. yet, a proposal never came. he held up the teddy bear as if it were simba from the lion king, the entire stuffed animal basically shielding his shorter form from your view. you suppressed a snort with your hand.

“i searched far and wide for this gigantic teddy bear for you, please accept it this valentine’s day!” nishinoya said loud and clear from behind the bear. you were having trouble stifling your laughter because from your angle, it looked like the bear itself was saying these words to you. you attempted to take the huge bear from his arms but it ended up being a lot heavier than you anticipated.

“noya, really this is-”

“take the picture!” noya whisper shouted to tanaka, who was holding up his phone camera with a thumbs up. noya posed beside you with an arm tossed around your waist, throwing up a peace sign and sticking out his tongue. leave it to yuu nishinoya to spoil you with the biggest bear he could find. it was incredibly endearing, especially when you found out from asahi that he nearly got kicked out from a walmart after knocking down the entire teddy bear display. he could be the biggest dork sometimes. but you wouldn’t trade him for the world.

koushi sugawara

baking together

he saw the idea on pinterest and he had to try it out with you

they were cupcakes red velvet with pink, buttercream frosting

easy, right? it would be a cute little date, you could even stay over at his house while you watched a romcom or something of the sort while they were baking

turns out it wasn’t easy

at all

“shit fuck, oh god- shit!” koushi mumbled to himself as he was spilling some of the red cupcake mix over the side of the bowl. you were trying your best not to laugh too much but you couldn’t help your giggles when koushi shot you a playfully annoyed glare, his nose powered with sugar and flourmaking him look straight out of a victorian magazine. baking with koushi had gone just as well as you thought it would. there was a lot of flour being thrown around, a few stray chocolate chips and sprinkles now on the floor serving as reminders of past quarrels. koushi had always been a rather chaotic individual behind his “soft boy” demeanour he liked to flaunt. he could be so goofy and fun. he could be your greatest hype man but also the person you knew could be in your corner when it counted. and here the two of you were, making a mess in your shared kitchen at nine at night for a valentine’s day date.

“honey, you’re mixing it too fast!”

“i’m mixing it just fine, see look! it’s supposed to be this thick,” his ahoge bobbed back and forth atop his head as he mixed with quite literally his entire torso. his tongue poked out of the corner of his mouth as he focused hardcore on the making sure the mixture was abolished of any and all chunkiness present. you rolled your eyes, a wide smile on your face despite his stubbornness. “the oven’s been preheating for thirty minutes now.”

“well the oven can wait,” he huffed, tapping the neck of the whisk against the bowl to remove the excess mix before grabbing a ladle to begin scooping all the mix into the muffin tin. not without another mess, of course.

“kou, stop moving the—”

“i’m not moving anything, you’re just making me laugh!”

“hand me the spoon, hand it over.”

“it’s not a spoon!”

“it’s a big ass spoon.”

“y/n!”

you were bickering like an old married couple as your hands reached greedily for the ladle that already had some cupcake mix in it. koushi held it out of your reach, causing him to back up into the counter while you hopped in an attempt to get it back. in your desperate attempts, you slipped on the flour from your little past war and caused the two of you to collapse to the floor in a heap of giggles and laughter.

yeah, you two would definitely never be touching any sort of recipe after that day, you absolute menaces.

all works © denkamis 2021.

tags:

@meilbox

want to be on the taglist? see this post!

[mypimpademia]

hi! i love your work sm 🥺

can i get some fluff w/ bakugo being the first to say “i love you” please 🥺

Bakugo x reader

TW: Swearing

Note: hiii! Tyyy🥺💖

This is kinda cheesy and silly and not super romantic ngl 😭

Included a lil hc that bakugo likes spooky szn bc its the one time him being such a menace is slightly normal

Also I'm sososososo sooooo sorry you waited so long for it to be this short I've been occupied w school and im trying not to delay writing so much

Youre both in your 3rd year

God, you loved nights like this.

Nights where your boyfriend finally had time in together after having extensive amounts of school work that often kept you apart.

Usually, the two of you would go out for a walk or just out in general.

But it's cold outside, and neither of you felt like going out. Plus, there were Halloween specials coming on later tonight.

And to top it off, his parents were out of town doing a fashion show, and wouldn't be back till tomorrow, so you had his house to yourselves.

You had some time to kill before the Halloween special though, so you were baking fudge brownies from scratcy (or anything else you'd like if you dont like brownies).

"Thats not how you mix it, dumbass." Katsuki pointed out, watching as you poured a little bit of the dry ingredients into the wet ones. You quickly tipped the bowl back over, as to not mess up the recipe.

"Well I asked you how to mix it and you never told me, dumbass." You retorted.

Bakugo sucked his teeth, coming up behind you and guiding your hands.

"You whisk the dry ingredients together first, then the wet ingredients, don't just dump them in" He instructed you, his hand over yours as you both whisked the mixture of powder ingredients together.

As much as you tried to focus, it was hard to. Especially with the way you suddenly realized how warm Katsuki was, and how his caramel scent flooded your sentences.

You repeated the same process with the wet ingredients, then mixed everything together.

"Keep mixing that till its time put it in the oven, im going to order the pizza." Katsuki told you. You hummed in understanding.

"What toppings do you want?" He asked you. "Hm... (insert topping choice)." You told him. "What? Who the hell eats that?" He scoffed.

"I do!" You exclaimed, faking being offended by putting a hand to your chest. "Fuckin' weirdo." He teased, flicking your forehead.

Katsuki ordered the pizza and it had been set for delivery, and you put the brownies into the oven.

For the next short while, you both sat around talking about nothing in particular till the brownies finished cooking and the pizza arrived.

At about the same time, you had everything ready for the Halloween special.

The brownies were cooled enough to eat, the pizza was hot a fresh, and you convinced Katsuki to build a pillow fort with you.

"Katsuki, hurry up, its about to start!" You shouted. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fuckin' coming." He grunted.

Katsuki placed the tray of cut fudge brownies next to the box of pizza as well as the soda you ordered that was on the coffee table.

"What the hell, we're watching Houcus Pocus?" He snarled. "Yes, and what about it?" You asked him, knowing he'd watch it either way he secretly likes it, dont @ me.

A few pizza slices and fudge brownies later, you were about 20 minutes into the movie.

You were watching intently as Bakugo was scrolling through Instagram on his phone, and you occasionally looked down just to see what was on his feed.

And during one particular time you looked down, Denki went live.

"Ohh, go to Denkis live." You said, curious about what shenanigans he was up to this time.

Loading up the live, Sero, Denki, Mina, and Kirishima all seemed to be in a Walmart parking lot.

"Extreme cart racing!" They all cheered.

Kaminari climbed into a cart while Sero held it, making sure it didn't slip. Mina stood on the side cheering for them, and Kirishima filmed.

"Three! Two! One! Go!!!!" Mina shouted.

Sero took off running while pushing Kaminari in the cart, and Kaminari screamed, holding onto the sides of the cart.

It was going good, they were gonna reach the spot they were supposed to.

And then Sero tripped on a crack.

The cart swerved in the direction of a light pole, and Kaminari let out the largest scream you've ever heard, and right before he hit the pole, he accidentally set off his quirk.

You saw electric shocks run through the parking lot, and then the live cut out.

But unfortunately for you, you happened to be drinking soda, and found the scene all too funny.

Your drink shot through your nose, and you started coughing and sniffing on instinct as you fanned your nostrils.

"Fuck— holy shit this burns!" You yelled, grabbing nearby napkins and wiping yourself off.

Meanwhile, Katsuki was laughing and calling you a dumbass.

"Oh my gosh– shut UP!" You shouted, only making him laugh harder.

You let out a groan in a mixture of pain and slight frustration, before going to get up.

Before you could fully stand, you were tugged back down by a certain blond who was most definitely laughing at you a second ago.

"Fine I'll help you." He finally offered, still laughing slightly.

Katsuki gave you napkins to blow your nose with, while he whipped down the table and floors.

"It still fucking burns." You whined, pinching your nostrils.

"Ha, dumbass–" You heard Katsuki say. You turned to playfully shout at him again, but at the same time he turned as well, and said something that caught you off guard and left you speechless.

"- fuck... I love you." He mumbled, a look of nothing but pure adoration and love for you in his eyes.

Not even a second later, he realized what he said, and seemed just as shocked as you.

"Oh fuck– wait- I'm sorry." Katsuki sputtered.

Before he could get another word out, you planted a soft kiss on his lips.

"I love you too." You whispered.

In an attempt to hide his embarrassment and failing, he directed the attention back to you.

"You taste like snot and soda..." He chuckled.

"Yeah, but you love me, so deal with it." You said pulling him into another kiss, and throwing your arms around him, and he returned the favor by locking his around your waist.

Katsuki fell back onto the floor, and you came down with him. But neither of you minded, and continued exchanging kisses all over one anothers faces.

For the first time ever, you both felt, and knew, that you were content and whole with the person you were with.

You were right where you should be.

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf

Ok, so I’ve tried and tried several times to get this posted, we’ll see if this is the time it goes through. Half the reason why this review series has slowed down is not just the multitude of real life stuff I have to deal with, but also Tumblr just refusing to work with me and deleting my posts. I also can’t save my work else where due to Tumblr messing up the formatting. It’s been a frustrating mess and so far no one @staff​ has come up with a tech solution or work around. 

Summary: Rapunzel helps to rebuild Old Corona, (after its near destruction from the Black Rocks) which will become the permanent home of Red and Angry, who have returned to Corona to settle down. However, she begins to notice strange footprints around the area, as well as the livestock becoming more unruly and fearful. The group comes across a monster hunter named Creighton, who explains to the group that the area is being stalked by a werewolf, who possessed one of Corona's citizens. Aiming to save this person rather than kill them, Rapunzel sets out to find who it is. 

When Was This Decided?

No seriously, when was this decided? It’s a pretty big leap go from ‘the rocks makes various towns inhabitable’ to ‘let’s rebuild!’ What’s changed here? Cause the rocks haven’t been removed and Rapunzel failed in her mission to nullify their power. In fact the rocks were not only reawaken in the second season finale but shown to be under the power of someone who’s intentions were made unclear to the heroes.

So I ask again; who thought this was safe thing to do now? What provisions have been made to accommodate the rocks? They blocked the well, remember, and destroyed the fields; how are the people getting food and water? 

And most importantly why wasn’t the audience informed beforehand? When you change up the status quo in a story you need to provide just cause to the viewers. I legit thought I had accidently skipped an episode when I first watched because this plot point was not set up properly.  

Why Were They Ever Left Alone to Begin With?

In a story where neglect is a central theme and motivating factor for all the main characters, it is super tone deaf to have those same characters perpetuating neglect themselves. The decision to live on their own should not be left up to Angry and Red because they are children. Children are not mature enough to provide for themselves neither emotionally nor physically and when placed in situations where they have to do so it psychologically damages them. Which the series already showcased with Varian so why is this suddenly deemed ok? 

This Completely Undermines the Past Two Seasons

The entire conflict of the past two seasons was the rocks forcing people out of their homes. Eugene was made an orphan from them, Varian lost his entire support group because them, they drove out the Saporians from their encampment which prompted them to invade Corona, and Rapunzel and company spent an entire year on the road trying to find a way to stop them from spreading supposedly. 

All of that has now been flushed down the drain with this decision. And its super insulting to watch because it’s the writers telling us that we’ve wasted our time caring about this plot for two years. You don’t resolve major conflicts off screen and without explanation; it’s lazy!  

Also Where Is Varian and Quirin During All This?

This is not only their home and legal charge, but it’s also the ending to their ongoing story, and they’re not even here in a silent cameo. 

Wouldn’t Quirin be overseeing the rebuilding of his town? Wouldn’t Varian be using his skills to find workable engineering solutions for them, fulling his season one goal of saving his home and making his village better with his inventions? Also wouldn’t Edmund want to catch up with his brother and help out now that he’s here? 

In fact not a single person who actually lives in Old Corona is to be found in these opening shots. 

Oh, But We Do Get Earl

Earl might be from Old Corona, or he might not be. We’ve literally never seen him before. The artists had to create a brand new character model for this character, the writers had to write new lines for him, and the casting director had to hire an actor and have him record these lines for only less than a minute of screen time, never to be seen again. Even though they legit had shepherd models already to go from season one that they could have used. It’s a waste of resources and a prime example of the mismanagement going on in this show. 

It’s Too Late In the Series to Waste Time On a New One Off Villain

Speaking of a waste, Creighton might have more story reasons to appear in this episode than Earl does but her inclusion is still a poor decision. The show already has an overabundance of villains, so many in fact that they shipped the bulk of them off in season two, and this is the final season; the season where we should be wrapping up plots and minor characters stories not kicking off new ones.

Taken on her own Creighton isn’t a bad character presa, she works for the episode, but when we could have gotten a resolution to Caine’s, Hector’s, or the Disciples’ story arcs instead it highlights how misused the series assets are. 

All This Lore Will Be Forgotten In Just a Few Episodes Time

We finally get like some magical rules and backstory only for future episodes to ignore it from here on afterwards. Red can turn into a werewolf whenever she pleases, night or day, with little explanation as for why.  

Just Arrest Her Rapunzel

You’re the acting queen. You have the power and the right to arrest or even merely detain someone who is threating your citizens and refuses to leave. In fact it’s kind of your job. You don't even have to throw her in a dungeon if you thought that too cruel. Just lock her up in a nice room somewhere in the castle until you’ve sorted out the mess yourself. 

The series wants to treat Rapunzel as the underdog when she isn’t, and her failure to wield her power effectively doesn’t make her look ‘nice’ it just makes her look stupid and grossly incompetent. This is a conflict that didn’t need to have happened and Rapunzel let it happen.  

Oh, So Now Y'all Riot

You didn’t complain when the king orphaned children with his crack down on crime. You rolled over as he dolled out overly harsh punishments to poor people who committed minor offences. You gleefully went along with the royals as they  scapegoated a child for their mistakes, even as they endangered your homes.  And ya’ll sat on your asses while invaders pulled off a coup and enslaved you. 

But this is what you get mad over? A rumor about a mythical creature existing that your princess has zero control over. Seriously? 

Man, I hate the townspeople in this show. 

Pointless Dream Sequence Is Pointless

This scene tells the audience nothing new and just wastes screen time. 

This Is the Wrong Lesson to Focus On Rapunzel

We do not tell the 12 year old to unload their phycological issues onto their baby sister!

You’re telling me parents were involved in writing this show? What the hell!?

Rapunzel you are the adult here. At 20 now you should be more adept to handle listening to the deep seated emotional traumas of a little girl than a fucking 10 year old! And if you’re not, or don’t want to, then it’s your job to find another adult who will. 

That’s the core problem with this entire episode. It treats Red’s and Angry’s problems as some eternal issue that they need to work out and not as the inherent failure of the adults around them that it is. 

It is neither Red’s nor Angry’s decision on weather or not they get live on their own. Nor is it their responsibility to be each other’s therapist. Yes, a change in living arrangements is always stressful and for children with abandonment issues it can be hard to readjust, but that’s when you need to step it up and deal with the problem; not shove it off onto the kids themselves! 

Monty Is Useless

Is this all Monty is good for? Being a red herring in ridiculously simple mysteries? Is this why we wasted a whole episode introducing him back in season one? Really?

Why Are We Still Treating Old Corona As Being Separate from Corona Itself?

Look, I get that it’s a joke, but it’s a joke that highlights how poorly thought out the worldbuilding is in the series. Is the Coronan government in charge of Old Corona or not? If so then you can just make those lease laws yourself as the acting regent Eugene. If not then Frederic shouldn’t have had any say in the matter of relocating Old Corona’s citizens nor putting a child outside of his jurisdiction under arrest.

But more importantly this is a just a repeat of that vague level of responsibility Rapunzel has for people who live off the island. She can’t order a whole village to be rebuilt while simultaneously claiming that she bares no accountability for Varian and Quirin’s problems in season one. 

Replacing Guns with Crossbows Isn’t the Safe Option That the Censors Think It Is

I find it kind of amusing that censors will ban showing a 17th century blunderbuss but allow it to be replaced by a weapon that is still mass produced today and can be bought in any Walmart across the country. Like I’m a major advocate for gun regulation in real life, but even I have to find this to be a bit silly. Crossbows aren’t some fantasy weapon. People still own and use them. But it would be seriously hard to get ahold of a working antique firearm.  

Seriously This Is How the Girls Have Been Living and the Adults Haven’t Done Anything About It Until Now?

I feel like I’m beating a dead horse by now, but it’s so engrained into the episode I have to keep bringing it up. The show itself is visually telling us that Red and Angry can’t keep living this way, but it never wants to call Rapunzel and the other adults out for not rescuing them from this life sooner. 

So All This Tells Me Is That Rapunzel Could Have Easily Checked Up On Varian In Painter’s Block, But Didn’t.

Remember they’re right next to Old Corona; meaning that Janus Point is also right next to Old Corona. Meaning that Rapunzel could easily have checked up on Varian right after Painter’s Block and choose not to. With each passing episode Rapunzel has less and less excuse for her behavior in season one. 

Yeah Remember that Plot Point That Wound Up Being Entirely Irrelevant to the Story?

In jokes don’t cover your ass when you make poor writing choices. Quite the opposite in fact as all you’ve done is remind the audience of all the various dangling plot threads that you will fail to follow up on. The disciples plot goes no where and serves no purpose, and it should not have been introduced as this big important thing if you weren’t going to do anything with it. 

Nice Idea, Poor Execution

I’ve heard fans of this episode tell me that they enjoy it because of this scene with Red. If you’re a naturally introverted person or neurodivergent and have trouble communicating at times then Red’s speech here can strike a cord. Which is cool; I’ll never deny someone’s feelings and if a piece of media speaks to you on a personal level for whatever reason that is great. What I’m here to discuss though is story structure and whether or not the story’s themes are presented well in context of what it’s set up. 

The conflict here does not work from a pure structural standpoint because it’s a surface level deflection of the real issues. Red’s problem isn’t that she is being ignored, it's that she’s been abandoned. Now communication issues can arise from that abandonment and feeling heard can be step forward in working those issues out, but Red’s central trauma isn’t going to be magically fixed by people ‘listening’ to her, i.e. being granted whatever she wants, but by providing her with a real home and with a real guardian to look after her. 

Because what Red wants on a surface level is harmful to her, and the reasons why she wants what she wants needs to be addressed more so than then sedating her angry outbursts in the moment. This is treating the symptoms not the cause.

So What Is or Isn’t Real About the Curse?

Once again, we finally get some actual lore and rules for magic and the writers are already throwing it away during the same episode they are introduced. I now have as little context for how the wolf curse works within the Tangled world as I did before the episode started. 

This Is Sweet, But Once Again Context Brings It Down.

So just to reiterate, this a surface level resolution to the conflict of the episode that doesn’t actually address anything. It might feel like an appropriate ending but only if you ignore the fact that Red and Angry are orphans who’ve been abandoned but the adults. 

Angry apologizing here to Red does not solve any of their problems, especially since Angry, as a child herself, is not responsible for her sister’s behavior, feelings, nor well being. That falls to the adults and they fail to address Red’s core issues and their own failings to her in their apologies as well. Not to mention that the very next scene undermines any optional progress that could have been made here. 

Listening to Someone Does Not Mean Giving Them Whatever They Want

This does not fix anything. Red and Angry are still left to live on their own without any real supervision. Giving them a big play house is not providing for them, it’s spoiling them. Would you let all the other orphans in the local orphanage roam free without an adult to take care of them? No!? Gee I wonder why? Could it be because letting a 12 and 10 year old raise themselves is a very stupid idea? One that will potentially damage them later in life assuming that they don't get themselves killed in the meantime. 

Moreover this is yet another example of the series overall problem with not understanding that compromise and resolving conflicts does not mean rewarding the characters at the end with everything that they want without having them work for it. That’s not how life works and it’s not how good story telling works. 

This Is Beyond Irresponsible

No! Bad Show! Bad! 

You do not get to pretend that negligence is the same thing as compromise. Yes I know Eugene said to come to him when they have a problem, but as demonstrated by this very episode children do not always know when to ask for help nor can they always find it when needed, that is why parents exist!  

Nor does the show get a free pass for turning it’s main characters into child abusers who neglected three minors multiple times now. Even when they themselves are victims of that same abuse!

How utterly blinkered do you have to be to not see the problem here? 

It’s the Return of the Pointless Parallels

Let me count the ways for how stupid this is. 

Red and Angry’s conflict has no impact on the on going narrative. Even with them now being reoccurring characters they still manage to contribute nothing to the future storylines involving Cass. 

Neither Rapunzel nor Cassandra learn anything from Red and Angry’s spat; Rapunzel because she refuses to acknowledge her own flaws and Cassandra’s not even here for any of it. 

The sister’s dynamic between Raps and Cass is not well established and the writers mange to piss all over it by series end because of gay baiting and poor writing. Therefore relying on lazy parallels to other siblings in the show to bolster this connection falls flat.  

Red and Angry’s argument has nothing in common with Rapunzel and Cass’s current fighting. One is about abandonment issues and the other is about shallow validation. Trying to tie these two themes together actually winds up undermining both conflicts. 

Red and Angry are children. Rapunzel and Cassandra are not. That very much matters. 

Red and Angry didn’t drag innocent people into their petty bitch fight and endanger them because they wanted to feel special. 

This Makes Zero Sense

I don’t know; she looked pretty happy during Crossing the Line. 

She was also able to control the rocks just fine then, so what happened? 

Not to mention soon after this Zhan Tiri is telling her she needs some sort of incantation to control the rocks, despite being able to already control the rocks.... 

It’s almost as if the writers are full of shit and don’t actually know what they’re doing. 

So Are We Remembering the Burnt Hand or Not?

Does the hand matter or not? Is it ever a motivating factor in what Cassandra decides to do? Is her waning control over the rocks connected to her burnt hand; even though having a burnt hand is what allowed her grab the moonstone in the first place? Did the moonstone heal the hand? Does Raps singing the healing incantation later on heal it? Does Cass have a forever burnt hand? 

Who the fuck knows! 

Not the writers that’s for sure, cause it never comes up again. 

Don’t introduce plot points and then not resolve them. That’s writing 101 guys. 

Wait if she needs the incantation to control the rocks and the angry thing is a lie, then how the heck is she controlling them just now? Make up your dang mind show! 

I swear I lose brain cells whenever I have to rewatch the evil Cassandra plot. It is so dumb  you guys.... so, so dumb. 

Conclusion

It’s not the worst thing ever but series has far better episodes on offer than this one. Even in a season as suck ass as season three. 

So there’s praying that this review posts this time and if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me in my projects feel free to leave a tip on my Ko-Fi. Thank you. 

https://ko-fi.com/rachelbethhines

[creativeskullcreations]

Outside chapter 22: United and Split

There maybe three to four chapters to go after this one. Which is good cause I'm running out of chapter titles lol. It's harder than you'd think trying to come up with a unique one for each chapter.

Also I based the way Daisy looks off of some old fanart that showed her using a lot of Host arms and hands for legs. I just added the empty eye sockets, which she did herself to scare the Mason and Lisa. I wrote that bit before this came out.

Anyways next chapter should be out in about two weeks, as usual. The Show's about to begin, and you don't want to miss it.

"So where do you think Scout would be in here, anyways?" Lisa asked as they wandered around a room full of creepy mannequins.

"You know, I'll bet she's not in-fucking-here!" Mason answered as he did his best to keep away from the half made puppets. "Lisa seriously why are we even in here it's so creepy! Even the Puppets agree!" And it was true, as he held both Puppets in his arms, both of which had remained silent and almost fearful as the humans explored.

"Supplies!" She announced cheerfully from where she was shoving different colored fabrics into her pockets. "We may need some of this down the line."

"... I don't think the fabric in here is any different from the fabric at Walmart." He pointed out, and she just rolled her eyes as she gathered some more up. She picked up a pair of shiny sewing scissors, turning to show him.

"Look at these! They look so sharp." She held them up and he got closer to examine them. "Looks like they could put someones eye out."

"Yeah, great. Now put them back, and let's go!" His voice dropped to an intense whisper, and she rolled her eyes, shoving them into her pocket with the fabric.

"Fine." She groaned out, taking the little yellow and orange Puppet back. "Let's go see if we can find the others."

They walked out of the room, pausing when something tipped over behind them. Turning back to look, they saw a mannequin had been knocked over. They quickly turned back around and hurried away from the door.

"Lisa."

"Yeah?"

"Please tell me you did that."

Lisa let out a quiet, humorless laugh. "That would be lying, Mason. You know I don't do that."

"Okay." He swallowed to get his voice pitch back in place. "Run!"

They sprinted down the hall, listening as something skittered behind them, steadily getting closer. Mason spotted the crossroads up ahead. "We gotta split up!"

"What?! I am not leaving you to face whatever that thing is alone!" Lisa shrieked, pulling him down the right hand corridor.

"It can't chase both of us!" He stumbled, glancing to catch sight of a spider-like Puppet. "Oh SHIT!" He pulled ahead, spotting Lisa looking back and going pale from the corner of his eye. She pulled ahead of him, grabbing his arm and dragging him down the hall as she tried to gain some distance.

A few seconds after they passed a door it was thrown open, with gunshots following. Mason took the chance to yank out of Lisa's grip and turn, delivering a sharp kick to the thing's face.

Blonde hair and a torn, red dress stumbled back on many flesh and wooden hands. Her head snapped back into place, staring at him with empty eye sockets. With a wordless cry she launched herself at Mason but was stopped by Stacy catching her with the axe.

She smacked against the wall, sliding to the floor as Will finally finished reloading. He fired off four more shots into the Puppet's head, and they watched her sag against the wall. Sammy snatched the axe from Stacy's hands and used it to fully chop her head off, just in case.

For a long moment, nobody moved. And then Bonzai let out a cheer while Stacy stumbled over to a corner and vomited.

"That was totally awesome!" He yelled, and was quickly muffled by Mason.

"For this, Mortimer will kill every Host." Stitch muttered in horror. "And then he'll blame us all the most."

"I can't believe you fucking killed Daisy..." Bit whispered, and Sammy turned towards her in horror.

"That was Daisy?!" Now that she'd said it, he could see the resemblance. Her apron and jewelry were gone and her hair was chipped, but she was still recognizable in the dim light now that he knew.

Will grabbed a loose sheet from nearby and spread it out over the ground, then loaded up the two pieces of Puppet into it while Lisa moved to check on Stacy. "You okay Stacy? You look really pale."

"'M fine." She muttered, wiping her mouth. "Just... didn't really..." She gagged again, and Lisa rubbed her back sympathetically.

"It's okay, hon. You still did great." 'She should've stayed back in the car. Why didn't she follow the plan?' "What the hell are you doing, Will?"

"I am not leaving this thing here to come up behind us later. Besides, we should probably make sure to burn any corpses we make." He held up his makeshift bag. "Scout told me this one is what was making them." He indicated the Handpuppets. "So her, and the other wooden Puppets, we absolutely can't leave behind."

"He's right." Stacy agreed hoarsely. "We leave any of them with a chance of being alive and they'll just do it again, after hunting us all down."

A long, silent pause as they all took that in. "We're burning this fucking place to the ground." Mason muttered. "I am not spending the rest of life looking over my shoulder for stupid freaky Puppets."

"We will. After we get Scout and knock out the rest of these guys." Will indicated the bag again. "So, which one of you knows how to get to her?" He glared at the Handpuppets held by his friends, eyes lingering on Stacy for just a moment.

More silence, as Hosts and Puppets glanced between each other. Will sighed, debating whether to try and choose someone to intimidate for the information. There weren't a lot of options, but luckily the little orange and green one with the bad hair cut spoke up.

"Canon knows." Bonzai started, quietly. He shrunk back when everyone turned to look at him, but continued. "She was helping Mortimer with something to do with Scout. But, I followed her when she went to spy on him. I know where he did his... practices. And where he put Scout."

"Can you take us there?" Stacy asked, almost timidly.

"Yeah, but we should probably hurry. He was planning something... really bad."

Mason led the way, guided by Bonzai's directions and the group followed, Will bringing up the rear with the bag, which would move by itself every now and then. A quick shake and a few discreet kicks kept the monster inside down, however, with no one else the wiser.

-----

"Hmmm, you've truly gotten yourself in a pickle now, haven't you? Would be a shame if someone brought Mortimer's attention to this too." Nick muttered smugly, fitting Riley's yanked off arm back together. The other one had been sawed off near the shoulder, and would require more extensive care. If Mortimer allowed him to perform it, of course.

"Quiet you blithering idiot!" Riley snapped, Host shaking from her anger. "Or shall I tell him what happened to his favorite Sock Puppet!"

"No need to go that far sister dear. We both have things hidden here." A pause as he finally popped the joint back together. "What should we do about those strays? There's no way they can be allowed to stay."

"Obviously not!" She agreed hotly, testing out her repaired limb. "But we can't just drive them out. They're here for that little traitor Scout."

"What makes you so sure? Could just be another group here for treasure." He crossed his arms, watching as her Host hobbled about the room. 'Looks like it's leg is broken. She'll need a new one.'

"That male with the brown hair is what kept me from her Host. He shot at me, so in the end he's worth the most." She explained, collecting some knives from a nearby table.

"Ah, that makes sense." He looked around the room. "Is he the one who made thi-"

"Yes!" She hissed, digging a dog whistle out from her pocket. She blew into it, sound the couldn't hear echoing through the halls. A howl answered her, not too far away based on the volume of it. "And I'll fucking kill him myself!"

"Good luck with that." If Riley was going to break rhyme, then so would he, at least for a moment. "Shall we go get Daisy for this little hunting party?"

"No, leave her to her stitching." Riley watched as Rosco came out of the shadows and into her dimly lit lab. "We'll be needing those Puppets by the morning."

-----

"Are you sure this is the right way?" Bit complained, hanging over Sammy's shoulder. Her, Bonzai's, and Stitch's flashlights were on, as the lights in the building had gone out. More likely, they had been turned off, but given the age and state of the building it could've just been a blown fuse. Either way, it was too dark to see and the Hosts hadn't brought any lights themselves.

"Yes, I'm sure." The male Puppet ground out. "The Sound Stage is down here now."

"How the hell do you even know? You went there through the vents!"

"At least I actually went there!" Bonzai turned to yell, blinding Sammy. "You just stayed in our room like a coward!"

"Okay! Everybody chill for a sec!" Lisa cut in, stepping between them. Let's focus on the goal, and then have a fight when we get out of here."

"No, we're doing this now!" Bit announced, launching herself over the blonde's head and onto Bonzai, who gave a high pitched scream.

Mason sighed, grabbing the two by the backs of their shirts and pulling them apart. "Would you two stop! You're going to get us all killed!" He hissed. He handed Bit off to Stacy, missing the glint in her eyes as she stared down at the red and blue Puppet.

"She started it." Bonzai grumbled, crossing his arms. He didn't relax his tensed shoulders until he was held properly again.

"I don't care who started it!" Will piped up from the back. "If we don't get moving, I'm gonna go up there and finish it!"

There was some more grumbling, but the two Puppets settled down into silence. A while passed as Stitch looked between the two Hosts holding her siblings. 'What an odd way to handle things.' She mused. 'I wonder if this is how they handle Scout. Seems easier than the usual way, at least.

They continued to walk, until Bonzai finally stopped them. "We're here." He said, quietly. "The Sound Stage is just up ahead, through those doors."

"Mortimer's definitely gonna be in there." Bit added.

"So we need a plan, then." Lisa piped up, and everyone turned to look at Will, who was kicking the bag again. He stopped as he felt their eyes on him.

"What?" He shrugged. "I don't know shit about that guy. Ask her." He pointed at Stacy, who looked a bit taken aback.

"Uuuuh go in there and shoot him?" She suggested, after a long moment of thinking. Sammy and Will facepalmed, with her cousin mumbling something.

"Okay." Will sighed, rubbing his eyes. "Good start I guess. But we need a little bit more than that."

"You have that axe." Mason pointed out. "Maybe do something with that."

"No, okay, here's the plan. You three stay out here with the other Puppets. Me and her will go in there and get St-Scout. Then we all run for the exit, and go from there." Will laid out. "Quick, in-and-out, grab-and-go."

"Oh, yeah, nothing can go wrong with that." Bit mumbled, and was shushed.

"Sounds like a decent Plan A. What if something goes wrong?" Sammy asked, even as he accepted Bit from Stacy.

"Then we wing it. Improvise." A pause. "You guys should probably grab some weapons just in case."

With those three distracted, Will started pulling Stacy towards the door, leaning in the whisper dangerously. "We get out of here and you swap back immediately." He hissed. "And never do something like that during a time like this ever again."

"Yeah okay you fuck." Scout hissed back as they crept towards the door. With a quiet count to three, Will reached out, and turned the handle, opening it just enough for them to sneak in.

[the-pale-goddess]

Blind - Ethan Ramsey x MC (Tiffany Addams)

The annual Edenbrook gala is all about extraordinary food, free booze, serving looks...and jealousy in every possible form. Who will crash and who will burn this night?

Warnings: NSFW (+18) Nothing too explicit this time! But obviously, suggestive adult themes are all over the story. Plus there’s alcohol, a lot of swearing and all that jealous angst we like.

Rating/Category: Mature / AU

Author’s note: This fic takes place not long after the AU Miami conference in the Miami Heat series where E&T went all the way.  I hope you’ll like the twist! It’s also kinda long - sorry about that.

Taglist (let me know if you want in or out)

@caseyvalentineramsey  @interobanginyourmom  @newcolonies @ernest-harrington @openheart12 @perriewinklenerdie @mvalentine @ethandaddyramsey @kaavyaethanramsey @lion-ess24 @choices-love-affair @justanotherrookie @rookieoh @rookie-ramsey @queencarb​ @schnitzelbutterfingers​ @doilooklikeiknow​

_____

„Ramsey, would it hurt you to crack a little smile? We're at a freaking gala.” Dr. Tanaka's teasing voice was just as annoying as his remark, but it failed to provoke any kind of emotion in Ethan. He shot the other attending a condescending glare from above his glass of scotch.

„I see no correlation.” Tanaka laughed at the blunt response, shaking his head in disbelief.  

„Is open bar not reason enough to get a little festive?” He leaned against the bar, his hand pointing at the impressive wall of liquor in front of them.

„I can afford my own alcohol, Tanaka, and I'd rather drink it, quite literally, anywhere else.”

„If you hate it so much why are you even here?” That was in fact an excellent question. Why was he still there? Ethan rubbed his brow and took a look around before responding. The spacious ballroom was already packed. All these familiar faces passing through in their best gowns, getting advantage of the night off at a luxurious hotel.

„As tedious and pointless as this schmoozing is, it's still a work duty. Everyone has to do their part.” He downed his drink and called the bartender to do a refill. In that very moment three young nurses approached the bar, standing right behind Dr. Ramsey, all of them oblivious to each other's presence. „I've been actually meaning to ask you about my lung cancer patient. Have you managed to read the file I left you today?”

„Yes. Dr. Mirani consulted with me before the recent development occured. I've allowed myself to...” Tanaka's voice dropped to a background noise when someone said her name. Ethan's attention immediately shifted to the lively chatter behind his back.

„...Have you seen Addams? Who does she think she is? A Grammy winner? This isn't the red carpet, sweetie.” All of them giggled. Ethan felt a tingle of irritation while trying to focus on his own conversation. But he just couldn't stop listening...

„Totally! That dress is scandalous.” The other nurse added. „Three mojitos, please!”

„Come on, girls. She's smoking hot with or without makep, in scrubs or in a way too revealing dress. I'd kill to have a body like Addams. You're just jealous because Scalpel Jockey is all over her, not you.” Ethan almost choked on his drink. Did he hear that right?

„I suppose she cleans up real well, yeah. But Brycey could've done so much better, is all I'm saying.” It was the first nurse talking again, her voice full of envy. Ethan's face turned red, eyes wandered to the glass he gripped with white knuckles, not paying any attention to Tanaka and his surgical rant.

„How long have they been a thing?” The question made Ethan's blood boil. Are they really a thing?

„I didn't even know they were a thing.” The first nurse theorized. „That chick's always running after Ramsey.”

„Susan, shhhhhhhh...” The second nurse whispered and the conversation suddenly died. None of the nurses realized it was already too late for shushing. As soon as they received their drinks they were gone, leaving the messy gossip buzzing around Ethan's head.

„What do you think, Ramsey?” He finally looked up at Tanaka. Fuck. Fucking fuck. Fucking fuckety fuck. What were they even bouncing around? He scratched his chin trying not to look too distracted.

„I...I just remembered. There is a matter that needs to be taken care of.” He gulped the scotch down and left the glass at the bar. „I'll stop by your office the first thing in the morning to discuss the case. Enjoy the rest of your night, Dr. Tanaka.”

Ethan whisked through the crowd looking for air. Meanwhile, his mind had a race of its own. Tiffany's seeing Lahela. So what? It's none of his business. He made that clear after the Miami incident. They both agreed it was irresponsible, unethical and can never happen again. She's his intern. The best one there was. He won't jeopardize her career development over a stupid crush. It was a crush, right? Just a simple chemical reaction, pure physical attraction....She's a brilliant and ravishing young woman – everyone would fall for her. No wonder that real-life Ken doll took his chance. Whatever. She's only his intern, he shouldn't care about her personal life. So why was she still on his mind? And why hadn't he seen her yet?

Luckily, the balcony wasn't as crowded as the ballroom. Ethan walked up the railing and sighed deeply, knowing no one in the close proximity was beside him. The chilly breeze of the night proved to be a great companion as he didn't need another dull small talk with any of his coworkers or the company leeches. He just needed a moment of peace to clear his mind, that's all. But then he heard a familiar laughter, the sound that owned his soul. Hesitantly, he turned around and his jaw dropped.

The dress was scandalous, indeed. Its milky white satin material accentuated all her curves in an obscene way. But that wasn't even the most outrageous part – the slit was the worst. The thigh-high, treacherous side slit that put her long leg on display. When Tiffany turned her back another surprise awaited – the exposed skin of her back was glowing at him. Her every move was torture and he was being punished, but he wouldn't look away. Her black hair was styled in perfect Hollywood waves that cascaded down her bare shoulders. And finally – the cherry on the cake, her full lips painted red, seeking undivided attention. She was absolutely breathtaking.

And she caught him staring. Their gaze met for the first time this evening. She didn't smile, but he could swear there was a glimmer of excitement in her eyes. She looked him up and down, trailing over his expensive tailor-made tux, fresh haircut and a flushed face, and then she had the audacity to bite her bottom lip, the movement slow and subtle, followed by a tantalizing flick of the tongue. Suddenly, he felt an uncomfortable motion in his pants. For fuck's sake, Tiffany.

The horror took a different form when a wave of his inappropriate thoughts was interrupted by a large hand that slipped on Tiffany's lower back. Ethan took a deep breath, trying to control the anger building up inside of him.

Lahela looked much like the dreamy prom king from a teen movie, with his golden bronze skin and perfect white teeth. His blonde hair, usually side swept and tousled, today made a rare slicked back appearance. He was whispering something to Tiffany's ear, but her gaze was still fixed on Ethan. What was she thinking about? And then she turned to Bryce, giggling like his very own prom queen, waving at the rest of their friends standing nearby. Except she was not some clueless chick, she was his intern. His Rookie.

Another minute of observing this bizzare spectacle would make Ethan think he's a masochist. He desperately needed a drink, but the gang was standing in the way of the outside bar. Without thinking, he took one of the champagne glasses distributed by a waitress, chugged it quickly, then took another and rushed inside.

~ A malicious rumour ~

„Please, welcome my dear friend – Don Julio!” Jackie got back to the gang's table with a tray full of tequila shots, receiving a perplexed look from Sienna. „What, you didn't believe in me? I can be very persuasive.” She moved her chest to the sides, making her tits jiggle, while distributing the shots.

„I genuinely hoped the bartender would tell you off and qualify as too drunk for another round.” Sienna rolled her eyes and glanced at Landry as if she was waiting for him to back her up, but he was lost deep in his thought. „We'll be doomed tomorrow.”

„Si, please, turning free booze down is like throwing real money into trash.” Elijah gently smacked her elbow.

„Who said anything about turning it down?” She laughed, holding her shot close.

„That's my girl!” Jackie whistled and clinked her glass with Sienna's. „Let's drink like we've won the lottery tonight!”

„Earth to Landry!” Sienna pointed at him with her shot. „Are you drinking with us?”

„Yeah, yeah, sorry...” He smiled briefly and took his glass up. „To Edenbrook!”

„Hell yeah to Edenbrook! Thanks for making us fucking plastered.” Elijah marked the toast and they all downed their shots.

„This is...” Sienna blinked and a single tear fell down her cheek.

„Nasty?” Elijah winced with disgust while Jackie grinned. „Delicious fucking meal?” The group burst out laughing and then proceeded with drinking.

„Where's Tiffany? I haven't seen her around for a while.” Sienna wondered.

„She's probably getting busy with Meathead in one of these lavish bathrooms.” Jackie's response resulted in Sienna's squeak. „Kidding, he got stuck in the friendzone. Who cares.”

„But he's also missing, isn't he?” Elijah looked at Jackie quizzically, challenging her for another take at the theory.

„Turn around, Walmart Sherlock.” They all turned their heads just to see Bryce walking in their direction with other surgical interns. Elijah folded his arms in defeat, while Jackie continued, trying to hold back a chuckle. „She said something about an important phonecall before disappearing.”

„What if something...happened to her?” Sienna's face was etched with worry.

„Well. I'm too drunk to get up...So.” Jackie pointed at the stairs on the other side of the room. „The last time I saw her she was walking down there.”

„I'll go check it out. Call me if you find her before I do.”

~

The hotel was huge. After running down what felt like a hundred stairs, Landry reached a long corridor. He wandered slowly, trying not to make any noise just in case. At the end of the hall he found another stairs. He walked down, and down, and down...Until he heard some grumbling and stopped in his tracks. He wasn't sure where was it coming from and what the sound was. Cautiously, he continued his journey, his steps as silent as possible. When he finally saw the floor his eyes went wide and he almost screamed at the sight. With the last bit of his sane mind, he took a step back, still having a good look but not in a way his presence would be compromised, and watched the scene unfold.

It was unmistakably Tiffany. Even though her red lipstick was smeared, perfect hair ruined, disheveled along with her satin dress, it was definitely his friend. Her body pulled against a man he was about to recognize...

Ethan Freaking Ramsey.

The blood drained from Landry's face. He was appalled to the core, clenching his fists until the knuckles got white. But he couldn't move. He just kept on lurking.

Ethan was kissing her neck with such force, the marks of this shameless encounter will surely bruise her skin. But she didn't seem to mind. Her mouth let out muffled moans as her hands greedily explored his body. Her leg was hiking up Ethan's waist and his possessive hand gripped her exposed thigh, sliding his fingers up and down, grabbing her skin, smacking her ass and squeezing it.

„You're mine, Rookie.” He whispered into her ear. Tiffany moaned loudly, clearly forgetting they were in a public space.

„I'm all yours.” She purred. Ethan smirked and moved his lips to meet hers. Their kiss was passionate and urgent, as their tongues fought for dominance. Their bodies were grinding against each other in an unsteady rhythm...

He's seen enough. He tried to back away. There was no reason to continue watching two people in a loving act...But it was not loving, was it? She corrupted him. She seduced him. That tricky little bitch! She wanted to win the competition but she couldn't outshine the others, so she had to come up with a plan of her own. Was Ramsey really that stupid and blind after all?

Landry's whole world crushed down and a wash of despair fell on him while trying to think of a solution. He was determined to make Tiffany pay for her deviousness. For a single minute a defiant thought crossed his mind – maybe it's a little unfair to interpret the nature of their relationship without knowing the slightest hint of their story? But it was too late, he was already blinded by his jealousy. He found himself in a position to judge, and that advantage was vindictive enough. He shook his last decent thought off and doubled back to the party.

~ A blinding revelation ~

Inside wasn't safe either. Everyone watched The Ethan Ramsey follow his nose straight to the bar. Some of the big fish already made their steps towards him, dying to talk to him. Just one more reason to get out of this horrifying event...Before he managed to place an order, a strong vanilla scent filled the air around him. The savor deeply evocative to him, despite his effort to deny its importance. The muscles in his jaw clenched. He didn't even have to look. He didn't want to look.

„Dr. Ramsey, what a surprise. I didn't think I'd find you here.” Tiffany leaned her back against the bar, a glass of champagne in her hand, her eyes scanned the ballroom carefully before they landed on Ethan. He ran the risk of looking back at her. She was even more stunning up close. His eyes quickly avoided hers, finding a neutral spot at the height of her ear.

„Where else would I be, Addams?” His brow arched.

„Literally anywhere else. This isn't a typical Ramsey environment.” Tiffany laughed softly. Ethan's gaze fell back at her face, studying it as if looking for an answer to a question he wouldn't even dare to ask himself. She noticed the cryptic staring and her cheeks flushed with a tint of red. „What did I do now?”

Ethan was silent for a moment, considering his options. The image of Bryce's hand claiming his intern repeatedly slapped him in the face, leaving him no choice but to surrender to this blind rage.

„So you're Lahela's pain in the ass tonight.” He alleged, his speech stilted and mocking.

„Didn't hear him complaining.” She shrugged, dodging a bullet and pointing her own gun at him, scratching him in defence.

„There is no conclusive evidence to prove that, Rookie. You're standing here annoying me, not him.” The intensity of their stare was hardly appropriate for the place they were in. But they were too absorbed in their interaction to register that.

„What if that was my plan all along?” Tiffany's finger brushed his hand as if by accident when she began to walk away. His eyes followed her every move, focusing on how her hips swayed, lingering on her curves. And then, in the middle of the ballroom, she stopped and looked at Ethan over her shoulder. He swallowed loud, knowing damn well what was about to happen next. She bit her bottom lip, smiled teasingly and continued her walk. For fuck’s sake.

Ethan cursed himself for being such a fool and followed her at a safe distance. She was heading downstairs, like she knew exactly where she was going. Except she didn't. It was an exciting, alcohol-driven improvisation.

A trail of vanilla scent she left behind intoxicated him to the point he failed to notice how far from the party they wandered. Judging by the long corridor they passed through, they possibly entered the hotel wing. They were finally alone. Just the two of them and a meaningful silence punctuated by the violent sound of her heels. They reached a luxorious lounge when Tiffany decided to end the journey. She leaned against a white table, sipping her drink with eyes glued to Ethan.

„Why did you follow me?”

„Why would you want to come here? Wherever we are.” They smiled at each other in agreement – they truly deserved each other. The cheeky grin on Ethan's face quickly disappeared, as he moved next to Tiffany, playing with his glass of champagne.

„I'm simply trying to avoid a very public catastrophe.” The young doctor admitted. She hopped on the table and crossed her legs, letting the material of her dress slip to the side, completely exposing her leg.

„Are you seeing Scalpel Jockey?” The waspishness of his own voice sickened him as much as the fact, that the decision to spit the question out was motivated solely by self-interest.

„Why do you care?” She looked at him staggered.

„I don't.” He responded immediately. His words, as sharp as a knife, cut her deep and she turned away. The look of sadness on her face made him bite his tongue...Only just a second too late.

„Tiffany...” His hand reached her shoulder, but she threw it off. She remained silent for a long moment, her chest moving furiously, face hidden behind her locks. The catastrophe was on its way. When she finally regained her composure, her head angled at Ethan revealing an indignant glare.

„I'm so done with your hot and cold bullshit. You have no right to treat me like this...You rejected me. You made it painfully clear that you're only interested in Doctor Addams.”

„I know, but...”

„You know?” She got up and scoffed at him, taking a step in his direction. „You know, yet you continue this immature act. You're all jealous and possessive, but when it comes to owning it you deny everything.”

„Tiffany, your whole career is at stake here. Why am I the only one thinking about it?” He said through gritted teeth.

„Man the fuck up instead of altering the subject.” She leaned closer, unaware of the consequences, until their faces were merely inches apart.

„What's that supposed to mean?” He knew exactly what she meant. In fact, he knew way too well. Playing dumb, are we?

„Tell me now, Ethan. Right in the eye.” Her voice was filled with pain and frustration as she pointed her finger at her teary eyes. „Tell me you don't care about me.”

„What...” He blinked, utterly disconcerted.

„Tell me I can date and fuck whoever I want.” She's seen him mad before. This was something different. An entire new level of rage crossed his face. He was breathing fire.

„That's enough, Addams.” He pursed his lips and shook his head with eyes closed, as if he was trying to teleport to another dimension just to calm himself down.

„Using my surname won't...”

„Do you really think it's easy for me?” He hissed, interrupting her. „It's not like I've walked into the waiting room the day we met and decided to fall in love with an intern. Nothing of this was my intention.”

Ethan's words made her stand straight. Her face softened, lips slightly parted. They waited in silence for a minute, trying to deal with the surprising turn of events. Ethan felt the need to even his breath, when a blinding revelation downed at him.

„I have feelings for you, Tiffany.” She moved closer, standing between his legs, her hand flicked through his thick hair.

„Yes, you said something about falling in love.”

„Stop it. I know what I said.” He leaned into her touch and put an arm around her waist, a playful smile playing on his lips. She pulled his head closer, letting his chin fall between her breasts.

„I'm not seeing Bryce. I just had to see you green with envy.” Tiffany confessed, caressing his cheek with the back of her hand.

„And that worked extremely well, didn't it?” Ethan arched his brow, his hand traced her curves up and down on the side.

„It did. I think I got what I wanted.” Their eyes were still locked, his baby blues finding safety in the green of her emeralds.

„You might want to revaluate that.”

„Wha...” He didn't let her finish. With a brisk movement he stood up, catching her in his strong arms, and kissed her hungrily.

Tiffany melted into him, staining his lips Russian Red with every kiss. Her arms immediately twined around him as he blindly moved her forward until her back was pinned against the wall. The kiss deepened, making them both dizzy with its intensity. They gasped into each other's mouth while their tongues danced together.

„I see your point now, Doctor.” She mumbled when they finally parted for air. The lipstick printed on Ethan's lips made her chuckle. „How come you look so good in red?”

„I can assure you, it's not as good as your smudged look.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, inhaling her delicious scent.

„Shut up and kiss me.”

She didn't have to tell him twice. He crashed into her again with renewed passion, his hands tugging at the satin of her dress. Never breaking the kiss, she slightly spread her legs and he instantly felt the movement, pressing his body even closer against hers. The rock hard bulge begged for her attention by rubbing on her inner thigh, and she willingly complied. Her hand slipped into his pants and stroked his length teasingly through the fabric of his underwear. He moaned into her lips and gripped her ass, as they continued kissing.

„You're making me crazy, Tiffany. And that dress...” He trailed off, trying to find a proper word that matched with his unholy thoughts.

„You'd like to tear it off, wouldn't you?” The lustful glance followed by a tightened grip was answer enough and it made her grin from ear to ear. „Not so fast.”

She quickly unzipped Ethan's pants, and before he realized, she was on her knees, her slim fingers tracing the waistband of his underwear.

„Tiffany...” He was slack-jawed, unable to move. His mind went off for a split of second. Luckily, he managed to come to his senses before she pulled his pants down. He reached for her shoulders and gently brought her back into his arms.

„Ethan, let me. I want to taste you.” She whispered, cleary disappointed he spoiled the fun. Ethan stared at her in awe, trying to shake off the image of his cock in her mouth.

„No...Not here.” His hand held her jaw and tilted it slightly up. „Someone might walk in on us any minute.”

Then he began kissing her neck with such force, the marks of this shameless encounter will surely bruise her skin. But she didn't mind, she was delirious. Her mouth let out muffled moans as her hands greedily explored his body. The high slit came in handy when her leg was hiking up Ethan's waist and his possessive hand gripped her exposed thigh, sliding his fingers up and down, grabbing her skin, smacking her ass and squeezing it.

„You're mine, Rookie.” He whispered into her ear and sucked the skin behind it. Tiffany moaned loudly, forgetting they were in a public space.

„I'm all yours.” She purred. Ethan smirked, pleased at the response, and moved his lips to meet hers. Their kiss was passionate and urgent, as their tongues fought for dominance. Their bodies were grinding against each other in an unsteady rhythm, desperate to feel skin on skin. „Let's move somewhere private.”

„We need to clean this mess up first.” Ethan took a tissue out of his pocket in order to get rid of the lipstick smudges all over his face.

„It's pointless. I sucked on your lip pretty hard, you’re staying red.”

„Give me the lipstick then.” She burst with laughter and Ethan soon followed.

They did their best attempt at tidying themselves up with the minimal equipment Tiffany carried in her tiny purse. They really did. Was it enough? Probably not. Did they care? Surprisingly, not in the slightest.

„Ethan?” Tiffany took his hand in hers right before they decided they looked decent enough to head back to the ballroom. He laced their fingers together when their gaze met.

„I have feelings for you too.” She coughed up nervously. A very rare beaming smile lit up Ethan's face. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

„I know.”

[occult-castiel]

A thread with no end

Cool metal lighter in hand, he finally takes a glance at the reason for all of this. 

It's small, swallowed whole by the thick yellow clothes Sam has it in. It yawns, puppy-like, and fixes his wide eyes on Dean.

Blue. Big and impossibly blue. Its shades too light, closer to ice than ocean, but it pulls something loose in him. It's — it's almost like —

When Jack is born, he doesn't come out fully grown.

[Part One]

[Ao3]

Chapter 2

When the sharp edges of adrenaline settle, the last couple of days are a blur to think about. The absence of it is always its own kind of tired — aches become apparent again. His temples sting. All thoughts are filtered through sludge. His stomach gurgles out loud groans. The reminder is a desperate attempt to make bodily functions matter again, but the desire for food is numb. If anything it makes him sick.

He shakes his head, uses his free hand to blanket his face, pinch the bridge. Trapped under the rough pressure, his tear ducts throb. But it’s all right. It’s fine.

Fucking peachy. 

Sloppy and mechanical, as Dean pulls the two of them off the ground. He doesn't look at the embers. The ash. His joins cry against all movement, each jagged step a chore. What should be solid ground slips loose under his boots. He has to catch himself with each half-stumble towards the house. Little snivels turn to full body whines, and Dean doesn't blame the kid. It can't be fun to get jerked around by some idiot that forgot how to walk right. 

The door juts open with a creak, and whatever course of action he might've tried to take vanishes. 

Unfiltered sunlight glimmers in through the curtainless window. Dust particles dance in yellow above the table where it's — it’s just empty now. His last pitstop. The last place Dean would ever get to look. To touch. Legs on autopilot, he trudges over. 

Light glistens off the table's glossy finish. Glints against the discarded keyring Sam somehow remembered to salvage. Carefully, he skims the tips of his fingers over the cool surface, and dread sits like a rock in his stomach. It was warm, right after. But the air has long since leeched any heat Cas left behind. 

Throat tense, he cups the keyring under his palm. Tightens his fist around it until the metal digs in and his arm trembles. 

It's not fair. None of this is fair. They used to have more allies. Friends. Something they could fall back on after so long of having nothing, but none of it even lasts. Like the universe has decided The Sam and Dean Adventure just ain't multiplayer. 

"Dean?" 

He shoves the keys in his pocket. "Yeah. Down here." 

Sam clunks down the steps and gives Dean a tight smile. Grey bags under his eyes highlight the bloodshot tendrils. His whole body slumped in on itself, the exhaustion of the last however-the-fuck long hitting him like a brick. Maybe he looks that bad too. 

Over one shoulder Sam has the world's largest baby bag — lime green and burgeoning with diapers. The zippers stuck halfway around. It thunks when it hits the floor, and Sam shakes a bottle. "Made some formula. There's an extra in the side pocket." 

"Thanks." Dean takes it. "Gonna have to toss the other one. Stuff can only sit out an hour." 

Sam doesn't say anything to that, just scrapes a chair to the table, plops down, and buries his face in his hands. That's okay. Silence suits Dean just fine. 

He repositions the baby in his arms, cradles the head against his shoulder so he's more upright. The kid latches on to the plastic nipple with ease. 

The last time he fee a baby was a lifetime ago in some stranger’s home, babysitting with an ex-angel post attempted-murder. He and Cas had straightened out his not-dates house, and the baby started fussing. The bottle was already made. He didn’t think about it when he started feeding the kid. When Cas saw him, he gave Dean a pleased smile and said you're good at this. 

It jolted his pulse. Compliments had a way of hitting him funny, but right then? In the low light of a picture-perfect suburban home? Right from the very human Cas who has sex and goes on dates and looks at Dean like he’s worth something? 

Neck warm and mind blank, he offered to help Cas do it right without thinking. 

And it was good, the light touches, soft adjustments that weren't necessary. But Cas never dressed down that much, so it was better than good. Dean spent the whole time thinking about how thin his cotton shirt was. Cas was smaller without the layers, and the warmth of him unfiltered. He tried to peel his hands away, but it was like he couldn't stop. Angel or mud-monkey, Cas felt strong and whole. 

The comfort of the words stuck with him for days. The feel of Cas underneath him never left. 

God, he should be here now. 

The baby’s pudgy face grimaces, and Dean moves the bottle back until it evens out again. 

"We need to figure out what we're doing." Sam's palms muffle his voice. 

"We're going home. Welcome to the joys of parenthood. Here’s to hoping it doesn't kill us during puberty." 

"It has a name." Sam drops his arms to his sides. "Jack. Kelly made videos on her laptop for him." 

Dean rolls his eyes. "Well ain't that just lovely?" 

Sam's jaw drops. "Dean."  

He's two steps away from being the spitting image of some scandalized Victorian chick, and it crawls under Dean's skin. 

"What? Jack here is the son of Satan, Sam. Fucking pardon me for not caring about mommy’s little home videos," Dean says. The baby — Jack, whatever — whimpers. Body tense, Dean slowly slides the bottle from his mouth. 

"He's a baby, not a monster. And I'm just saying we don't have to — to tuck our tails and go home." 

White spit-like liquid dribbles from Jack's mouth. Dean sighs. 

"Fan-freakin'-tastic. I forgot babies did this crap." Dean sighs, storms over to the table, and places the bottle down with a hard clank. "I'm not seeing an array of options here. We can't exactly put a Nephilim up for adoption. Or hire a babysitter." Carefully, he brushes off Jack's mouth with the color of his onesie. It’s probably the cleanest thing they have to do it with.

"There's Mom. If the portal was opened once, there's gotta be a way to do it again. Maybe the Book of the Damned, or the Demon Tablet..." Sam perks up. "We could try and get Donatello to help —” 

"Okay, I'm gonna stop you there." Dean lays Jack flat against his shoulder and pats his back. "First of all, you really want a soulless dude and Lucifer's kid bumping shoulders? Don't think they could be, I dunno, a bad influence on each other?" Jack releases a puff of air and Dean adjusts him back down. He levels a hard stare at Sam. "Second of all: Moms dead. Nothings gonna help that." 

Sam doesn't miss a beat. "You don't know that." 

Buzzing vibrates from Dean's pocket. He yanks it from his pocket for it. "Pretty sure I do. Lucifer ganked her the minute the portal closed." 

"You can't —" 

Unknown. He sends the asshole to voicemail. 

Sam shakes his head. Sighs. "Whatever. Who was that?" 

"Not Donatello." Well, it could've been. But whatever. He grabs the baby bag, then slings the lime green wrecking ball of a bag over his shoulder. "You've got Baby's keys. I'm taking the truck." 

The coach squeaks. Before Dean can make it out the door, Sam grabs the strap. The force yanks him in place. Dean swivels around and glares. Sam drops his hand and gives Dean a weary look. 

"Can we just talk about this?" 

Dean swivels around. "I don't know what you want from me. Crowley's dead. Kelly's dead. Cas is —" Pain pangs his chest, a little twinge that sends pin-pricks through his torso, down his arms. His eyes dart away and land on the table. The discarded, half-finished bottle sits just outside of the sunlight’s path. "Mom’s gone. We even lost Rowena. So I'm gonna take the kid, find a motel the next state over, and put up whatever sigils I can to let the dick brigade know they aren't welcome. Rinse and repeat until we’re back home." 

Sam scoffs, but whatever energy he had left is burned out. "Whatever. We'll talk later." 

"Unlikely." 

By the time Dean walks over to the table and grabs the bottle, Sam's halfway up the stairs. 

Dean pushes past Sam and grabs the bottle. By the time he walks through the door, Sam's halfway up the stairs. 

Ash has blown around the yard, smeared it in grey. Eyes downcast, pointedly away from the remnants, he beeline for the truck. Wind whistles by and smears ash across the lawn. Dean stares at the mustard-colored wet spots on Jack's clothes instead. 

Cars are like a testament to the owner. The truck is immaculate. The burgundy shines — there’s not a spec of dirt marring the strips of pearl-white. 

Dean doesn't bat an eye at the car seat. It’s green. Of course it’s green. His breath doesn't catch at the stupid cartoon bee sticker smiling at him on the car seat’s side.  And he doesn't think about Cas. 

Not him stumbling through a Walmart visit to buy the thing. God, he bets the nerdy little guy compared brands, sifted through online reviews in the middle of the aisle. He doesn’t picture how pleased Cas must've been at finding a pack of sticks, of all things. How the rest of them are most likely sitting in the glovebox. How it was probably the last enjoyable moment he had. Dean doesn't think — he doesn't. Merely shrugs the baby bag off onto the floorboard, buckles Jack in, and clicks the door closed. 

Sweat slick forehead pressed against the doorframe, Dean squeezes his eyes shut. 

The last conversation he had with Cas is a blur. An actual conversation, not stress-filled bickering over the newest pile of shit dumped on their doorstep. 

Dean tries to swallow, but the motion stops halfway through, and there’s nothing there to force down. 

The last movie night he'd managed to drag Cas into was over a month ago. It might’ve been the last time where either of them were reasonably happy. The last time his lips would tilt up in that small way that knots Dean's stomach. It isn’t fair. It's all wrong, and there’s no way to fix it. No magic is strong enough to bring an angel back, The only witch that could’ve tried is dead too. And any power Heaven could spare wouldn’t be used to help him. There’s only one shot to take, and it's the same useless one everyone’s thought of trying at some point. 

Dean grabs the side of the truck bed and turns his head towards the sky. He sighs. Here goes nothing. "Okay, Chuck. Or God, whatever. We need your help. You said — you said the world would be fine with us. It isn't. We've lost everything." 

He takes a deep breath, rocks his head to the ground. "You left. And I've never asked you for anything. Never begged. But now you're gonna bring him back. Cas. Mom. Hell, even Crowley." His hand tightens. "You owe us, you son of a bitch." 

"Please." It's begging. He knows it is and doesn't care. He’d beg for weeks straight if it wasn’t useless. "Please help us." 

A beat passes. Nothing happens. He didn’t expect it to work. God's never really gave a shit before, has he? 

It's fine. All fine. 

Jack cries when Dean slams the door. He strangles the steering wheel between his hands, hands that itch to inflict. Hit. Destroy. Sure as fuck not to nurture, not to quell the newborn screams, because Cas was wrong. Dean isn’t good at this.

A handful of deep breaths later, he leans down and fishes out a pink pacifier from the bag. Jack latches onto it, his pudgy face relaxed. Blue eyes float up to Dean. Innocent, full. It stings, and Dean turns away before his body uses whatever scraps of water it has left to make him cry again. 

When he brings the engine to life, Zeppelin creeps through the speakers, one track after the next in an order he memorized long before Cas got the chance. 

He plays it front to back on repeat until hunger and exhaustion win out, and he finds a motel.

[albino-whumpee]

An old thing 5

First

Continued from here

I´m quite proud of this part. Do you remember the Walmart man? Yeah. More angst and sick fic than whump, but there.

CW// Non Con, Dub Con, NS*W at times, dehumanization, slavery, human trafficking, escape attempt, blood, broken noses, implied death, regain of identity, whump of minors, manhandling, prong collar, past torture, creepy and explosive whumpers, physical and emotional abuse.

Everything will be tagged and if there´s tags to be added, tell me please.

Dimitri was speechless.

“Can you repeat that, please?” He said.

“You’re too close with Kit, we’re gonna send you to a vacation house. Dont worry about Roahn, you will see her when it’s the mounting” Layo said across the table. Kit and Danae were playing outside.

“Im…I…when?” He asked visibly stressed.

“Maybe on saturday. The vacation house is on the other side of the country, next to Sunnyhills Beach, I think you know whose property is it”

Dimitri knew.

His last master before them.

The one who had tried to kill him with the prongs collar.

“His son will be taking good care of you, so you better behave and do as he says understood? He wont accept escapes like us. You know his methods already anyways, you will know whats better for you” He said sipping on his coffee. “Ah, but you’re still ours. If he thinks he is entitled to damage you, He wont see the end of it”

“U-Understood…” Dimitri said still cleaning his plates. He had time. If he hurried up, maybe he could escape tomorrow. While they were on their cocktail party.

“I gotta believe I can do it” He told himself

—

Report came and Dimitri explained how he could the plan for the next day to Kit. How he would take him to that place.

“With Jen and Roahn?”

“Yes with them too” he smiled. “But you gotta tell me if they’re sleeping”

“Master was drinking a lot and Master was already asleep”

“Alright Kit. Ill show you something but you must not say anything ok?”

“Ok!”

He took out the improvised key from a vase and tainted the lock until he opened it.

“You could get out all this time?”

He sighed “No. Only on important moments. Now shhh” he put his finger on his mouth. “Come on Ill get you to your room but silence”

Kit put his lips together and followed him to his room. An spacious yet small little place with only the necessary and some toys. He was relieved he didnt live like them.

Dimitri put him to sleep.

“Goodnight Dimitri see you tomorrow?”

“Goodnight Kit. See you tomorrow” he said as he gave him a kiss on his forehead.

He closed the door silently.

Silent as a mouse, he went to his office. In all those years they had never guessed he had a key. So they had never bothered to lock the office. Dimitri knew perfectly where the copies were, but he knew keeping them would be too evident so he took them and made an improvised and quick copy of them with plaster.

He only needed to wait a few hours for it to harden.

He went as fast as he had gotten in but heard steps and hid quickly.

“Fuck…” Layo’s voice. He was going to the bathroom. And he would pass around the office for that.

Dimitri breathed quickly as he noticed. Was it that way he would end up? He took a stone decoration from a table and was ready to smash it on his head when he heard:

“Master? I can’t sleep!” Kit cried.

“What the…go to bed, Kit” the man said walking towards him.

“I can’t! Tell me a story! please, master!”

“Ugh what a pain is one am…Alright, Alright, coming go to your bed, Ill go take a piss before that…”

Dimitri held tight to the artifact.

“No!! Now!!”

“Argh! What a kid! Ok ok” he heard the door shutting.

Dimitri left the stone on its place and ran quietly to the cell. He closed it again and started working.

At 7 am it was ready. Later, Dimitri was preparing their masters for a full day outside when Layo said:

“Dont try anything funny Ok?” As he was locked up again. He had to hold the urge to laugh on his face.

“Understood”

Kit came running down a few minutes later.

“They’re gone!” He had told him.

Dimitri stood up. With backpacks on hand.

“Its time, Kit”

—

Dimitri got out of the cell and went upstairs. The house was empty. Or so it seemed.

“Kit” Dimitri held the boy’s small shoulders “I need you to go check on the door if there’s somebody. I’ll go get them ok? If theres someone dont scream it” he took the house phone and made it ring pressing a button “you do this and let the phone ring three times. Alright?”

The kid nodded. Dimitri gave him his binoculars back.

“Go see, explorer” he told him before the kid ran off.

He then made a little jump and sprinted towards the stairs. He went to the door where Roahn was and knocked three times. Her voice was husky.

“Dimitri?” She called

“Roahn, it’s me. We’ve gotta go. Now. Can you handle it?” He asked her through the door. A cough.

“Yeah” she said “always”

“We will take you to a doctor. I swear.” He said looking down and putting the keys on.

Roahn had been very sick for weeks. She couldnt give her enough milk and was very weak. Refusing to eat even. Miraculously, Jen was healthier than ever.

Finally the door opened and Roahn had her baby on her skinny arms. Eyebags dark in her face. Yet the light on her eyes were strong. He held her after giving her a hug.

“Lets go” he said as he helped her walk through the house. “Kit is waiting” that line made her sob happily.

“Our baby…” she said looking nowhere

They streamed downstairs, Roahn almost falling at various times due her legs not being able to move correctly. However Dimitri was there to hold her.

When they finally reached the kitchen Kit was waiting for them.

“Nobody on sight!” He said as if he was a sailor.

“Good” Dimitri told him “Kit, help Roahn out a bit would you?” He said putting her down to open the door. Kit sat besides Roahn and asked her if she was Alright to which she responded with a smile. Dimitri held the concrete key on his hand and inhaling deeply he unlocked the door.

The clicking sound of freedom was on his ears as if it was music.

-

The four of them stepped out of the house to the secondary door. Not before putting coats with hoodies that covered their faces. Then they ran. Quietly, agitatedly, desperately. The four of them reached the door withut problems.

There was no one apparently.

The door was in a vine wall. It was easy to pass through it because the key Dimitri had was a copy of the master key he used to buy groceries.

He held them down for a bit while he opened the door. It was the last thing.

The last.

When he opened the door he saw the street and a fist on his direction. A man in black suit punched him making him fall. Roahn and Kit immediately tried to run away from the man, but Dimitri, even when hazy due the pain, used a close by rock to knock the guy out by hitting his head. The man fell and Dimitri was alert to anybody else coming to try and stop them. But there was no one.

“Roahn!! Kit! Its ok!” He yelled with blood going down his nose. They went out of their hiding spot and went back to Dimitri.

“Are you ok?” Roahn said cleaning the blood off his face and stuffing his nose with tissues.

“Yes, we just need to go now” he told her holding her hand a second.

“Is he dead?” Kit asked without taking his eyes off the fallen man. Blood came out of his ears.

“No” Dimitri answered him taking the kid by his hand and running past the body “he’s just unconscious”

They ran and ran and ran until they were on a plaza with a supermarket and a pharmacy.

They were free.

“Now where?” Roahn asked him visibly tired.

Dimitri took a look at Roahn holding Jen like she was a precious stone. Impressively calm. Kit was amazed by everything he saw.

“Now…we take these off” he told her taking his hands to his neck. Feeling the belt like collar and undoing it. He took it out carefully and slowly. Holding it in his hands, Kit could see clearly the old scars on his neck. It grossed the kid to think about how he got such hideous scars.

Dimitri knelt down to Kit and took his collar off too. Kit felt lighter than usual and couldn’t hold the instinct to touch his now free neck.

Dimitri smiled a bit and ruffled his hair before doing the same to Roahn.

Roahn dropped a tear when she felt that lightness on her neck. They looked at each other’s eyes for a second but Roahn pulled him closer and gave him a kiss on his neck and then on his lips.

“Yikes” said Kit watching them. They looked at the kid and laughed.

“Sorry Kit” Dimitri laughed.

“What about looking around for a place to stay, hun?” Roahn asked sweating cold. “We’re tired and we will need to hide for a bit…” she said.

“You feeling ok, Ro?” He asked him cupping her face with his hands. She nodded slowly “We will take the bus to Keith City, I’ll go buy the tickets and have a doctor check on you there ok?”

“Ok” she said.

Suddenly Jen started revolving and slapping Roahn’s face.

“Hey hey what is it Jen?” She asked her. Kit moving towards her.

“Dont cry Jen! It will be alright!” The kid said.

“Is she hungry?” Dimitri asked. Roahn blushed in embarrassment.

“I cant… feed her. I need some baby milk powder. Do we have some?” She asked Dimitri.

He started to search but it was in vain and he knew it.

“Kit” the kid shoot his head up from trying to comfort the now crying baby “could you tell that man there where could we get an electric chair for Roahn?” He asked signaling a person with a supermarket uniform not that far away.

The kid ran to him and asked him. The man was almost a geezer but his smile was really bright.

“It’s for your mommy there? Is she alright?” He asked Kit.

“Eh…Roahn? I hope so…” the kid said unsettling the man a bit.

“Not your mom? Its your auntie then? You two look alike a lot” he said again pulling the electric chair to the woman.

“We-we do?” Kit said finding himself a question.

“Here it is lady. Everything alright? You look a bit pale ma’am” he said helping her get into the chair.

“Yes, sir” she answered him not conscious of her formality.

The man found the people on his view with a woman with baby on arms crying out loud, the many bags and the very attractive man with tissues on his nose very strange. But it was a walmart. He had seen all kind of people go there. So he just walked away.

They put some of the bags in the electric chair and the others on the package service. Then they entered the market. Dimitri was used to go so he wasn’t as excited as the others. Yet he couldn’t hide his happiness of not feeling that uncomfortable thing on his neck. It was now in the trash. They went through the isles calming the baby with a toy that hypnotized her long enough for them to look at everything. Kit was amazed. Asking questions about this and that. Roahn looked at the pharmacy isle where there should be a doctor with longing. Dimitri didnt notice as he was coming back with baby milk powder on his hands.

In the end they bought a few more things. Like the toy and a magazine for Kit. As well as painkillers. The cashier recognized him and greeted him “Good morning!” Dimitri greeted back. “Is that your family?” The teen asked looking at Kit showing Roahn an article from his magazine.

“Yes” he answered blushing.

“Your kid is very energetic” she remarked.

“He is!” He laughed a bit “excuse me, Lana, where would I get bus tickets? We’re going to Keith City to visit my wife’s sister, but my card doesnt seem to work now…”

“Oh! Here would be fine. Two adults and a kid right?”

Dimitri payed for the bus tickets that would depart in two hours and met Roahn and Kit.

Roahn was a bit uncomfortable to leave the chair, but they got a taxi to the bus station so she didnt have to walk any longer. She was now green.

“Everything alright ma’am?” The taxi driver asked her while Dimitri fed Jen.

“Y-yes, sir. No need to worry. Thank you” she answered.

Kit extended his bag of chips to her.

“Want one Roahn? You dont look good…” He said.

“Im alright Kit. Just tired, that’s all” she ruffled his hair. Kit pulling it down annoyed. “Ill be taking one, though” she said eating a chip slowly.

She rested her head On Dimitri’s shoulder who gave her a kiss on her forehead.

“Im not ok” she mumbled.

“We will get you a doctor there I promise” he whispered to her, giving her a kiss.

The rest of the way Kit talked with the driver asking him questions about his travels.

When they arrived at the bus station, they were good friends.

They got there just in time and went up the bus. It was a four hour ride, but all of them were exhausted and fell asleep as soon as the bus started moving.

Dimitri woke up an hour before getting there.

It was the first time he didn’t have a collar and walked around freely. It had been strange for him to book sits because of his lacking of last name. But he had come up with one last second.

His name was Dimitri Holberg.

Maybe it was made up, but he had an identity now. He wasn’t bee, yellow, dog or dildo.

He was a human being and his name was Dimitri Holberg.

He had a family and a mission to reunite them all.

With determination they arrived at Keith’s city.

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Meant To Be: Part 3

Pairings: Machine Gun Kelly x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, drug use.

Word Count: 3,930

A/N: Y’all can thank @wings-of-a-raven for this one….

Part 1 / Part 2

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were board out of your skull, scrolling through your Instagram feed, in the completely empty road side stand- which was unusual for the middle of a Saturday afternoon. Having just finished lunch, five month old Gage was napping peacefully beside you in his pack and play like he did every day. Without looking, you reached out to flip to the next song on your iPod, not wanting to listen to country at the moment, and continued to scroll through your Instagram feed as ’27’ started playing through the small iHome speakers.

“You still listen to my music.” Your stomach dropped and your head whipped up as Colson stood in the open door frame and put his hands in his jeans pockets. “Hey, (Y/N).” You sat shell shocked and your heart pounded in your chest for a moment, before you found your feet and stormed over to him.

“You stupid…” You growled as you shoved him as hard as you could. “Selfish… Ignorant… fucking prick!” He barely stumbled as you punctuated each word with another shove. “I hate you! I fucking hate you!” You burst into tears as he wrapped you in his arms and nodded his head.

“I know.” He whispered as he tangled his fingers in your hair, pulled you impossibly closer, and rested his cheek on the top of your head. “I know.”

“I needed you!” You sobbed as you held onto his shirt for dear life as if he would disappear again if you dared to let him go. “Colson…”

“I’m here.” He soothed as he pulled back with tears in his eyes. “Baby…”

“No…” You said as you shook your head and forced yourself to take a step back to save your heart. “Fuck you. You have no Goddamn right…”

“You need to leave.” Junior said as he stepped out of the back room to see what was going on. “Now.”

“Junior, stay out of it!” You shouted as you pointed at your brother. “Who the fuck do you think you are…”

“(Y/N), I’m fuckin’ tryin’ here.” 

“I don’t give a fuck what you’re trying to do!” You roared as Gage started screaming behind you. “Leave, Kels. Leave now.”

“I’m not leaving.” He said as he quickly side stepped around you and boldly picked up his son. 

“No!”

“You better put that baby down.” Ross said evenly as he cocked his shot gun from the back of the store.

“Daddy, put it down!”  You screeched in fear as you moved between your dad and the two men that held your heart together… most of the time. “Give me… my son.”

“Not until you talk to me.” He said as he gently bounced his son in his arms. “Just talk to me, baby girl. Please. You can yell all you want…”

“Oh, I’m about to do much more than yell if you don’t give me back my son!” With a defeated sigh, he turned his head and gently kissed Gage’s forehead. Your heart broke for him as he whispered ‘Daddy loves you’ to the little boy before he unwillingly handed him over to you. With a huff, you turned on your heel and stormed out back as you soothed your son.

“You have two seconds to follow her before I change my mind and put a buckshot in your head.” Your dad grumbled when Kels didn’t move. With a small nod, he walked quickly, and closed the back door behind him.

“I saw you die.” He whispered as he leaned against the side of your dad’s pick up while you sat down sideways in the bed to look at him.

“And I needed you.” You said with a nod as you rocked Gage in your arms to try to get him back to sleep. “More than I ever needed you before.”

“I was scared.”

“And I wasn’t?” You snapped as you looked at him, disbelievingly. “I overdosed, Colson, and you weren’t there. I found out I was pregnant in the same fucking swing, and you. weren’t. there. Do you have any fucking idea how fucking terrifying that is? I went through it all alone! We both know my family wasn’t coming to my rescue me back then, and you black balled me with every friend we had. I had no one. No one was there for me through rehab, or throughout my pregnancy, or even through the nineteen hours of labor I went through before I had an emergency c-section because his cord was wrapped around his neck. No one comforted me when I held my breath PRAYING that I didn’t fuck my son up when I OD’d nor when I was begging God and anyone else listening to hear him cry when they had to rush him away to put him on oxygen before I even got to see him. I had no one! Because of you!”

“And nothing I will ever say will make up for that.” He said with a nod as he jumped up into the truck and sat down beside you. “Trust me, I’ve tried to come up with some shit to say to make this situation better but there ain’t words anyone can string together to fix it.”

“No, there’s not.” You agreed as you moved Gage from your arms to your shoulder and started to rub his back. “You will never be able to fix this…”

“What’s his name?” You looked over at him, a little stunned at the calm interruption and sighed with a small shake of your head.

“Gage. Gage Michael Baker.” Tears instantly welled in Colson’s eyes and he covered his face in his hands as the guilt and shame started to drown him. The part of your heart that loved the man beside you more than life itself shattered, and against your better judgement, you picked your still fussy son up off your chest. “Hold him.” You nearly whispered as you leaned forward and held your son out. You could see the torment and elation battle in his blue eyes as he carefully took his son and laid him in his tattooed arms.

“Baby boy.” He whispered as a few tears fell onto the cute overalls and John Deere green long sleeve onesie your mother had put him in that morning so her grandson wouldn’t go to the family market in the ‘my tattooed mommy can kick your mommy’s ass’ onesie you had put on him originally. You told him his birthday and his birth weight and length as you got off the truck and headed toward the table by the back door to grab your cigarettes.

“He likes ‘End of the Road’.” You breathed as you took a long drag and stopped a few feet away from the end of the truck. “‘Rehab’ is one I still play a lot…”

“Can you reach my phone?” He asked as he looked over at you and gestured to his right side. “Back pocket.”

“What, you think you’re getting lucky?” You teased as you set your cigarette down for a moment and walked over to the side of the truck.

“Pretty sure if I whipped my fucking dick out around you right now it’d get shot off by your old man or cut off by your crazy ass.”

“Little bit of both.” You smirked as you pulled his cellphone out of his pocket and handed it to him. He thanked you and fiddled with it for a moment, looking for a background track to sing to as you grabbed your cigarette and walked back over to where you were standing to keep the smoke away from Gage. Your brow furrowed as a melody you didn’t recognize started playing and you looked up from your shoes when he started singing. 

A sob caught in your throat as you listened to the words of the new song he had written for you and you couldn’t stop the small smile that spread across your face when you thought about that first night you met him. It was as close to a meaningful apology as you were ever going to get, because ‘I’m sorry’ meant nearly nothing to the two of you after all this time together with all the ups and downs you had been through. But one way or another, it made your wall weaken the slightest bit toward him once again.

“(Y/N)…” He nearly whispered when the song ended as he looked over at you. “I love you.” You choked on your tears and shook your head, not wanting to hear those three words from him for the first time in this situation.

“Colson…” You squeaked as your head and your heart battled for what to say next. In the long run, your head won, and you quickly walked over and gently took your now sleeping son from his arms. “I can’t…”

“I’m not leaving.” He called out as you headed quickly inside to go home. You paused but didn’t turn around as he got up to leave too. “Canceled my last three dates and postponed my fucking studio time. Putting my family back together is way more fucking important. I’m staying at the Best Western off the exit up the road. Room 105. Booked for at least two weeks.” With a very small nod of your head, you pulled the back door open with your toe and headed inside to get your bags, leaving Colson standing with his shattered heart in his hands.

——

When you left work, your intention had been to drive home, make yourself dinner, give Gage a bath, and smoke a joint before you headed to bed early but you never made it. Instead, you drove around your hometown for a while, headed to a fast food place to feed Gage his baby food a little easier, picked up a few necessities from Walmart and pulled into the Best Western parking lot. Every fiber of your being screamed at you to leave, to simply drive away and deal with Colson either in court or never again at all. You stared at the blue and white placard outside his door for twenty minutes until he pulled the door open and walked over to your door.

“Come inside, baby girl.” He cooed as he held out his hand and patiently waited for you.

“I can’t.”

“Yes you can.” He said softly as he crouched down beside you and gently put his hand on your knee. Tears started to fall softly on your cheeks as you searched his eyes, but he simply nodded his head. “Lemmie fix this.” You hesitated for a few more moments before nodding your head, and with a nod back, he stood up and pulled open the back door before you could change your mind. “What’s he need?”

“Just grab everything from the back seat.” You told him as you shut off your car and grabbed your purse from the floor board. He loaded his arms with bags and grabbed the pack and play you handed him from the trunk so that you could pick up your giggly little boy from his car seat. 

“Man, I fucking love that sound.” He said behind you as he kicked his room door closed behind himself and set everything down on one of the two double beds. You couldn’t help but smirk as you got a whiff of Gage’s dirty diaper, so you turned around and held your son out to his father.

“He’s just like you, Kels.” You teased as he took Gage from your arms. “He laughs when he shits.”

“Oh, babe!” He groaned as he quickly held his son at arms legs as he, too caught a whiff of poop. “Come on!”

“Change him, Colson.” You said as you pulled your diaper bag toward you, and pulled out the changing pad. “Quit giving me that look, he’s your son, too.”

“God, you fucking stink little man.” Colson said as he laid Gage down on the mat next to you. “How do I get this shit off?”

“Jesus.” You huffed as you reached over and unsnapped the overall straps. “You are not helpless.”

“I’ve never done this shit before.” He whined as you turned on the bed and started pulling the things he would need from the diaper bag.

“Just pretend you just shit your own pants.” You sighed as you laid everything out and started searching through the bags for the shower things he’d need next. “Unsnap the sides…”

“God, you are one stinky child.” He groaned as your son just wiggled and laughed on the bed. “Does he ever hold still?”

“Do you ever hold still?” You retorted as you folded your hands in your lap and waited. “He’s gunna roll off that mat.”

“OK, can you help me out here?”

“Not on your life!” You laughed as you used your knee to make sure Gage didn’t roll toward you. “I learned how to do this all by myself, too. You’re definitely not getting any special treatment from me. He’s gunna pee when you take that diaper off.”

“Swear to all shit that is fucking holy, I’m gunna kill you, (Y/N).”

“And I’ve been saying the same thing about you for months.” You sighed with a very pleased smile on your face. “But here you are still breathing and shit. OK, stop gagging, it’s not that bad. And you gotta get it out of his little chunker rolls…”

“So he got Mommy’s smile and her thighs… OW! I’m changing a baby here, don’t hit me!”

“One, don’t stay stupid shit. And two, you love my thighs. Gripped in your hands, wrapped around your hips, smothering your face…”

“Don’t.” He said a little harshly as he looked up at you through his lashes with a devilish glint in his eyes. “If you walk down that fucking road…”

“Oh, trust me, Kels.” You interrupted with a shake of your head. “You are not getting anywhere near this pussy for a long, LONG time.” The hopeful light he had in his eyes that said everything was back to normal with you being there disappeared almost instantly, and he quickly looked away to hide his disappointment.

“What next?”

“Well he needs a bath before he eats and then he’s going to bed. So strip down because I’m not putting my baby in some nasty ass hotel room tub.”

“You strip down.” Colson tried as he gently picked up Gage in both hands.

“Nope, you get to be a father tonight, sweetheart. Because before we even begin to consider what’s happening between us, you need to understand what being a parent means.” You turned on the water in the bathroom and adjusted it to the right temperature before turning around to look at him with a sigh. “You thought I was crazy before I had him, you ain’t seen shit yet. He’s gunna be very slippery when he’s wet. Don’t worry, you’re not gunna drop him.” You said quickly when fear raced through his eyes. “I’m gunna be right here.”

“Can you just… like get in and fucking stand there so you can catch him or some shit?” He asked as he unbuckled his belt and jeans and pushed them and his boxers down to the floor. “Please babe, you got me scared.”

“You’re gunna be fine.” You giggled as you took off just your pants and your bra. “Gage, tell Daddy he’s gunna be just fine.” He took a deep breath and stepped into the tub with his back to the spray and you held his arm to make sure he had his balance before getting in as well. “Yay! Step one!” Gage squealed in laughter as he slapped his hands on Colson’s tattoo covered chest and bounced around like he always did in the water, which made your ex even more nervous.

“Fuckin’ killin’ me.”

“Here, you gotta get him wet.” You instructed as you moved Colson’s hands so that he had a firm grip around Gage’s back, butt, and legs, so that he could cover his face with his free hand. “He doesn’t like the water in his face. And he probably will pee on you because he’s definitely your son and all. Just step back, Colson, I got you. You’re doing just fine. Here, now take some soap…” As patiently as you could, you walked your baby daddy through each and every step and explained the reasoning why you did things a certain way as you taught. You were surprised each time he asked questions (even though you always knew he’d make a great father), and decided to cut him a break the slightest bit when it was time to get out of the shower.

“I got him.” You said as you leaned around Kels and turned off the water.

“Na, I’m good.” He replied quickly as he pulled his son back into his chest so you wouldn’t take him. “Do you just grab the towel?”

“Just grab the hood part and put it on his head first, then wrap him like an awkward burrito. I think it’s just easier that way but my mom gives me shit for it all the time. ‘You’re supposed to lay him down first’… yea, because I want my bed soaking wet.”

“Probably because your mom hates me and I’m his dad.”

“Very valid assumption.” You agreed as you dried off your legs and dropped a clean towel over Colson’s shoulder.

“Not an assumption.” He mumbled as he laid Gage down on the bed and dried him off. He couldn’t stop himself from making faces at the little boy as he wrapped a towel around his waist quickly. “Shit, we made one cute little boy, babe.” You nodded in agreement as you pulled a dry pair of underwear from the Walmart bag and secured your towel around your chest.

“It scares me every day.” You sighed as you reached out and turned the diaper around in Kel’s hand. “Picture goes up.”

“What scares you?”

“Everything.” You breathed as you sat down and pulled a grey pajama onesie out of the bag. “Especially with everything that’s gone on with us, not just in the last year but our whole relationship. We fight all the time, and you’re constantly on the road. I used to be until I lost my contract because of the heroin overdose. I constantly wonder what’s gunna happen to him.”

“I was there.” You looked up at him as he gently took the pj’s from your hand and looked at them for a moment to see what snapped where. “When you OD’d. I was there for two days.”

“What?” He nodded his head as he pulled the onesie into place and buttoned it.

“I was the one that found you. You were fucking blue, (Y/N). Like actually fucking blue.” He looked over at you as he picked up his son and turned to sit on the bed with him in his arms. “I felt you stop breathing as I held you in my arms… and I felt your pulse slow so much that I couldn’t even feel it anymore. I was there when the ambulance came and hit you with narcan, praying that you’d wake up again, that you’d come back to me… and I was there when you screamed at me to leave you alone and that I should have just let you die.” Your breath caught in your throat and you fell back against the headboard as you covered your mouth with your hands in shock. 

“We were so fucked up back then, babe; fighting all the time, getting so close to getting violent almost every fucking day. I made a fucking choice, (Y/N). I walked away and it was the dumbest fucking choice I have ever made. But I walked away because I knew that you on heroin tied in with the amount of coke I was shoveling up my nose so I wouldn’t do heroin, was going to end up disastrous. I knew that I was fucking toxic for you… but I also knew every fucking day that I need you. I need you like I need fucking air, babe. And yea, I know we’re fucking crazy together. We push each others buttons and piss each other off… but you know me better than I know myself. 

You know the best way to talk me off the edge when I get caught up in my head. And you are the only one that can talk sense into me when I wanna bash someones fucking face in. You don’t put up with my shit, and you can dish it back just as fast. You are the first and only woman I want by my side; my fucking ride or die. I know I fucked up so many fucking times. But I wish… fuck, I wish so fucking bad that we could go back to those days. Because I would happily take the shittiest day of our lives together and live it like fucking groundhogs day than keep going on without you in my life anymore. Even if it’s just being a co-parent to the most badass baby in the world. Baby, I fucking need you.”

“Kels…” You sighed as you let your hands fall into your lap but he shook his head as he adjusted Gage in his arms because he was starting to fidget more, looking for his pre-bedtime feeding.

“Don’t call me that.” He begged. “Please… not you.”

“Give him here.” You sighed as you held out your hands to take Gage. You loosened your towel enough to free one of your breasts as Kels got up, threw on a pair of boxers, and grabbed you a dry shirt of his to wear to bed. “Honey, I don’t know if I can go back to that…”

“So we don’t go back.” He interrupted quickly as he came back over and sat back down in front of you. “We start from where we are; tattooed parents that just smoke weed, and get on each others nerves more often than not.”

“That have never been on a date or done anything but fuck, and party. And what about the road, huh? What about the sluts…?”

“Fuck the sluts.” He said with a swipe of his hand. “The only slut I need in my life is you.”

“Wow.” You said as a small smile pulled at the corner of your lips. “First I was a thot, but I’m a slut now. I see how it is.”

“Oh you were always a slut, babe.” He chuckled as he laid down and gently wrapped his hand around your ankle. “Like that kinky shit you did with your tongue.”

“Colson, I am feeding our child here.” You laughed as you gently kicked out your foot toward his arm. “Do not talk about our sexcapades in front of the baby.”

“Then there was always that thing I did with my tongue.” He teased absentmindedly as he laid down on the bed on his back and pushed your shopping bags out of the way. “And my fingers…”

“You better quit while you’re ahead, Mr. Baker.” You huffed as you pushed him with your foot. “Set up the pack and play. I need a cigarette.”

“Doesn’t that hurt? Your nipples used to be so fucking sensitive…”

“Only when he bites now. Apparently, thanks to your spawn, I now have rocks instead of nipples.”

“Mmmm so Daddy gets a go at those fun bags next?”

“Set up the play pen, Colson.”

Part 4